#you and the two dozen other people globally i guess

[jukeboxhound]

nearly had a goddamn heart attack today

trying to sign in my 23yo coworker to a work-related account and asked which browser she was using

i think dogs could have heard my incredulous shriek repeating, "bing?????"

[starzioo]

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐄. 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐓.

This is a Theo fic where you are a VS SUPERMODEL. During one of your shows you see a very handsome man. I think we can guess who said man is.

5.1k words.

WARNINGS: NONE

It was 2006 and you were in the heat of the Victoria's Secret angel show era. You were a high grade model. you had been modeling with Victoria's Secret for 3 years now and you had already made a big impact on the fashion industry. While doing business with VS you had also done shows with GUESS and Tommy Hilfiger. You also did catalogue with JUICY and many other hot brands. This was the start of your career and you made it big. Your face was all over the world along with Adriana Lima, Heidi Klum, Gisele, and even Tyra Banks. You were the it girl.

You sit legs crossed in your silk baby pink VS robe. Sitting in the stylists chair you had 3 different stylists were getting you ready. Two were curling your hair into the iconic VS blowout, while the other worked on your eyeshadow making sure the gold shimmer was nothing short of perfect. Backstage was always hectic, dozens of stylists and crew running around making sure the girls were on track and most importantly on time. It was hard to not get nervous during these times but you always knew how to keep your cool. While you weren't opening the show you were going to be the 3rd girl that walked out. 3rd? And not only that Justin Timberlake was going to be preforming for the show. I mean come on Justin Timberlake? Everything had to be perfect.

You had been shown the lingerie you were going to be wearing tonight, you had 4 pieces total. And every single one was tailored perfect to your body. Although you had worn the pieces during the rehearsals, tonight was the night. You could hear the crowd of people bustling outside, even over the noise of all the girls laughing and conversing while getting ready. You take a deep breath. "Is Y/n set to go? She has 10 minutes." A crew member asked the stylist working on your hair. "Uhh, she needs to go to outfits still. We'll get her there asap!" She says hairspraying your hair into oblivion. "Okay -she scans the clip board in her hands- make sure she gets there Gisele and Heidi are already changed and on there marks." She sighs and rushes away to the other girls. This is the moment when you can feel your heartbeat all throughout your body. This happens every show it's the adrenaline rush. The knowing that there's hundreds of people out in the crowd. The knowing that this show is broadcasted to millions of people global. "Okayyy, open your eyes! What'd ya thinkkk?" The makeup artist says finally pulling the soft brush away from your eyelid. You open your eyes. There was a soft brown shadow on the outer part of the crease that blended into a light gold shimmer that added as highlight to your inner corner. She did a natural eyeliner with small falsies. It made your eyes pop. The base of your makeup was natural but yet gave a glow to your face. Your hair was perfect aswell the curls accentuated and framed your face in every right way. Everything was absolutely beautiful. "Ahhh! Thank you! It's perfect as always, I need to rush to costumes now!" You say giving your makeup artist and hairstylist a quick hug. "Thank you byee!" You said quickly as you ran off to go find your outfit coordinator.

"I'm here!!" You say frantically as you run behind the curtains to the dressing rooms. "Finally, I swear we were about to send S.W.A.T for you! -She takes your hand and takes you to a dressing room that has

'Y/N Y/L/N' printed on a gold name plate on the door.- Ok, here's your opening outfit. -She hands you your first piece of lingerie- Holler if you need help with the bra!" She says as she walks out of the small room. "I have your wings out here when you're done!" She yells from outside. "Okay!" Although it was never your fault, things always seemed to go this way with every show. You were always running late. Whether it was a wardrobe malfunction or a burn with the curling iron, it was always something.

THEO:

It had been an on going tradition with the boys and Pansy to go see the VS fashion shows. I mean who didn't wanna see dozens of goddesses walking up and down a runway in lingerie? Me, Draco, Blaise, and Pansy are all walking through the VIP access to get to our seats. Every year without fail we had front row seats to the shows. Front row usually consisted of celebrities and important people from the fashion industry but when you have as much money as we do, we fit right in. Tonight me and the group were wearing all black Ralph Lauren, except for Pansy she was wearing Versace from the dress to the shoe. She opted for the Medusa '95 Midi Dress with the matching pumps, she wore her short chic hair tucked behind her ears. She looked absolutely stunning. If she didn't swing the other way I would've probably tried snagging her up myself. I wore an obsidian black tuxedo jacket with the matching tux pants, underneath I wore a black turtle neck long sleeve. My shoes were black aswell shined to absolute perfection. Blaise and Draco wore almost the same but a different variation of the shirts and pants. When we went anywhere publicized or not we came in outfits that were made to impress. Although our choices weren't as flashy or branded as others our style choices showed our money. Only if you paid attention to fashion would you know that this simple cashmere turtle neck costed $1,000. Or that Pansy's dress and heels total were $3,000. Or even Draco's rings that costed more than an apartment in Manhattan. Our style choices tonight were nothing short of perfection.

We finally take our seats we are sat close to the end of the runway. It had the best view from our experience. And you also got to see the girls more up close. You could see every laced detail and every diamond on their stunning lingerie pieces. Although we had all originally started coming as a joke we started taking these shows as a chance to get publicity. About 2 years ago Pansy had made friends with one of the models at an after party and the next day they were seen on Hollywood boulevard shopping and they ended up getting hit with paparazzi. Pansy and Karolina were on the cover of Teen-Vogue, STAR US, and were posted all over countless TMZ gossip blogs. That's when we realized how much publicity we could get just from being here. That's also when we decided to buy VIP tickets to the shows. The paparazzi tended to pay much more attention to the VIP entrances hoping to get shots of celebrities entering in and out of the venue. I mean if you acted important the paparazzi seemed to think that you were important. We had gotten pictures of us taken and posted on page 6. of STAR US captioned, 'Seen at the Victoria's Secret Angel Show last night these mystery guests have appeared yet again! Wearing only luxury designers, who could these people be? Their outfits all together cost more than my mortgage! Girls across America have been on the hunt to find these handsome boys. Mysterious and totally gorgeous? Count me in on the search!' The amount of publicity was insane and even now seated from row we have the paparazzi taken pictures of us every now and then. As we all converse with eachother about the show the lights in the venue begin to dim, the crowd goes silent.

Y/N:

You stood in line on your mark behind Gisele and another angel. Your nerves were crazy. Stylist swarmed the line of girls getting every last flyaway slicked, making sure every heel was clasped, fluffing all wings. You nervously shook your hands taking a breath.

"10, -The backstage manager yelled- 9," "Ok girls! Keep on beat! AND KEEP THE CROWD ENTERTAINED!" Not only were you girls there to model you were there as an advertisement. A campaign. You were entertainers. Performers. Keeping the crowd focused on you and nothing else was your main goal during shows. "5, 4, 3, 2, 1" You could hear the audience cheering for Justin Timberlake as he arose from a platform that was hidden underneath the runway. The beat to 'Sexyback' could be heard all throughout the venue. "5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Gisele." The manager said giving Gisele her cue to walk. As she opened the show the crowd roared and you could hear the cameras shuttering. "Ok, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Alessandra." She walked out more and more cameras shuttering. It was your turn. This is the moment where all your jitters wash away. Nervous backstage, confident bombshell on stage. You placed your hands on your hips and get ready to walk. "5, 4, 3, -during these moments time always seemed to slow. Everything around you was in slow motion as you prepared for the moment when you would be in the gaze of hundreds of people.- 2, 1. Y/n."

Not missing one beat your body moved in sync with Justin's music. As you appeared on the runway, it felt as if a flash bomb had went off. The hundreds of cameras flash flashed before you. You looked absolutely perfect. Your opening lingerie was stunning. The bra itself was a white gold fabric with 24k diamonds that were delicately placed to make a lacy like pattern. Your panties were low waisted, barely leaving anything for the imagination, the fabric had small diamonds around the waist and elegant lacy white gold patterns. Your wings made you look like a literal angel. The feathers were white and fluffy they faded into gold at the tips. Your heels were stiletto embroidered with more bling that you can ever imagine. You looked stunning. You walked as if you owned the runway, like you owned the venue. The crowd loved you. Justin faced you giving you playful eyes. You reached out your hand, playfully wiggling your finger motioning him to come you to you. He obliged. He walked towards you as you continued your catwalk to him. Once you came close enough you ghosted your hand across his chest and continued walking. As he sang he checked you out as he did every model. As you approached the end of the runway you met eyes with a man. He was quite handsome in your opinion, -I mean absolutely gorgeous, he was eye candy to you- and that was saying a lot. I mean you're a Victoria's Secret supermodel. His eyes were icy and grey. Even with all the flashes of the cameras his eyes stayed almost dead? But not in a bad way, a totally invitingly sexy way. He sat forward as you approached the end of the stage. A small flirty smirk played on his lips. You didn't know why but you felt, -almost drawn?- to him. As you got closer the cameras flashed more than ever. "Y/n! Over here!" "Y/n!" "Y/n!!!" The photographers and crowd shouted your name. Even with all the people calling for your attention you couldn't look away from his eyes. There was just something about them. As you reached the end of the runway you finally ripped your eyes away from his and looked into the mob of flashes. A flirty smile on your lips as you posed for the cameras. You rested one of your hands on your hip and the other raised to your mouth. You sexily bit down on your pointer finger as you basically made love to the sea cameras with your eyes. After your designated 10 seconds on the head of the stage it was time to strut back to backstage. A playful smile replaced the flirty as you looked away from the cameras, you turned to walk back. You glanced back at the mystery man and kept walking flirting with Justin as you walked.

The next segment you were walking was segment 3: Come fly with me. Once again your piece was absolutely perfect for you. Your top was a simple baby pink bra with bold white detailing. Your skirt was a matching low waisted super mini skirt that showed the white underwear you wore underneath the skirt. You wore a small matching jacket, the sleeves went to your elbows. You had a cute flight attendant hat to go with. You carried with you a cute little baby pink pamphlet with a pink airplane on the front. It gave Hue Hefners flight attendant in all the right ways. As the 2nd segment was happening you were actually ahead of time. You actually had time to talk for the BTS clips and take pictures with the other models. You were talking with Miranda when the manager yelled. "Y/N! On your mark!!!" She yelled as she rushed you into the line of models. "Sorry!" You said worried as you rushed to your place behind Adriana.

The segment was already about to start. There was only about a minute intermission between the segments and that minute if even one model was late could ruin the entire show. You really needed to start paying attention to your marks. "OKAY GIRLS! KEEP. THEM. ENTERTAINED. DO SOMETHING!!! ANYTHING WE WANT THE COVER! NOT PAGE 3!!!" The managers always yelled backstage it was nothing new. Although to anyone else it would sound mean. But that's their job. It's their responsibility to make sure that the show goes smooth without any hiccups or problems. It was also their job to make sure to instruct the girls on what to fix and improve. "Okay Adrianna. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1." The manager said as she strutted out from backstage. Once again you found yourself in the trance like state. The tv that was backstage showed what the cameras were broadcasting as Adriana approaches the head of the runway you hear the long awaited count down. "5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Y/n." All worries wash away and once again you're that girl. You cat walked that damn stage like never before. Your glittering legs moved to the beat and your hips swayed with the rhythm. The cameras bombed you per usual. You knew you were gonna be on a cover or atleast a headline. You always were. You were just that girl. The crowd always loved you, they lived for you. You approached the end of the runway. Even in the middle of hundreds of eyes you could feel one stare particularly. His eyes were paralyzing. You fluttering your eyelashes at him as you continue walking up. You looked him up and down flirtatiously and he did the same. You acted on impulse -not on thought- When you got to the end of the runway you fanned yourself with the pamphlet, then tossed the pamphlet into the man's lap, and shot him a flirty wink then strutted away. Hundreds more cameras flashed it seemed like they were faster than the speed of light. We were definitely getting front cover. I mean the manager said to keep the people entertained?

THEO:

"Bro, what the fuck!" Blaise laughed as the angel walked away. "Theo, I told you! I swear she was looking at you like you were candyyy!" Pansy giggled. I just stared in awe at the pink pamphlet that laid in my lap. "Dude...she's into you!" Draco said basically geeking. "What the fuck." I said picking up the pamphlet as cameras flashed at me.

Y/N:

"Y/n?! What the hell was that?" One of the backstage managers said as she came out of nowhere. "Uhhh" You stared blankly at the woman. "Y/n, you're an angel! -she kisses you on the cheek- We just got 400 thousand more viewers on the live broadcast when you did that! God! Muah! Muah! -she continued giving you forehead kisses- Oh my god! -she smacks her forehead- We need to get you to wardrobes!" She shrieked as she pulled you by your hand through the crowd of models. Some of the girls whistling at you. You both finally made it to the dressing rooms. Although you weren't walking segment 4 or 5 you were opening and closing for the 6th segment: Winter Wonderland of Glacial Goddess. So ohh did you need all the time you could gather to get ready.

This time they re did your eyeshadow to an icy shimmer look. It truly did make your eyes pop. You were in all white and silver. The bra was absolutely stunning. Nearly blinding with the amount of diamonds. The designer had told you the lingerie costed more than the venue itself. And that was saying a lot. This is L.A. and this venue. It was absolutely nothing short of breath taking. You were opening this segment in the 6million dollar bra. All eyes would be on you I mean how couldn't they be the bra was basically built out of diamonds. The main focus of this piece was this bra. "Okay Y/n! Good luck! Maybe flirt with your mystery man again... -ooo's erupt from the girls- but good luck not that you need it! WE HAVE ONE MINUTE LADIES!" The manager yelled as she walked around instructing the staff on what to fix on the models. Your nerves got the best of you, you were shaking your hands and popping your knuckles. After what felt like hours you finally heard the count down. "Ok Y/n, show the world the physical embodiment of winter goddess! 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Go." As you hear the beat of the music you get into the rhythm.

Your hips were swaying smoothly with ease. Gasps and whistles erupted from the crowd as you walked slowly and sensually. Your wings flowing behind you. Being the opener of the segment you got to walk down the center of the runway. All eyes were on you. The cameras were flashing at such a rate you thought the photographers would've ran out of storage by now. The diamonds blinging with every shot taken. When you got to the middle mark of the runway you did a small but quick spin. Once you neared the end of the runway you felt the fans blowing on you and the artificial snow falling from the ceiling made the whole scene perfect. Your eyes fluttered at the cameras and your lips parted slightly. Your hands rested lightly on your hips. After your designated time was up and the next model started walking down the runway you glance down to the man you have been flirting with all night. You looked from his eyes and then back down to his lap where the baby pink pamphlet laid then back up to his eyes. You blew him a kiss, then giggled when you seen his friend practically leap across a girl and a blonde man to catch it. The way he looked at you wasn't like how any other man looked at you it was with that same thirsty look you'd seen on every man at the shows it was more like admiration. He looked at you like you were a literal goddess on Earth. Hundreds of cameras caught the moment. You were living for this. I mean obviously all these stunts were getting you publicity, but there was just something about this man that drew you to him. It made you want to continue this flirty behavior towards him. You couldn't put your finger on exactly what it was. His alluring eyes? His perfectly tailored suit that showed his physique? Or perhaps the way he rolled a single gold ring between his fingers? You didn't know this man was truly a mystery.

You went backstage once more and covered your face with your hands in embarrassment as a group of stage directors and managers swarmed you. "The viewers are living for this!" "Your name is all over Facebook and MySpace!" "You gotta keep this going!" "Did you plan this?" "This is definitely making front cover!" You laugh in embarrassment of the very public flirting situation you have going on with some random you've never met before. "Oh my god! What do I do next? I mean there's not much I can do. It's not like I can pull him up on stage or anything? I don't even know the guy!" You say as they all rush you back to the dressing rooms. "Yes! Yes! Do exactly that!" "Do what? No. I won't that's- that's just embarrassing. Not only for me but for him! Like I said before I don't even know the guy!" You explained as the group of stylists quickly changed you into your next lingerie set.

Again there you stood on your mark in line watching as the line of ansy girls get shorter and shorter. You were gonna be closing the same segment you opened. And ohhh were you nervous. I mean who wouldn't be? You stand there nervously shaking your hands trying calm yourself down. Taking deep breaths as you watch the cue get shorter and shorter. "Okay Y/n, you ready?" One of the backstage managers asks lightly resting a hand on your back. "Yeah..Yeah I'm ready." You lightly smile. As you approach the hidden door way where you're supposed to enter the stage. Even from backstage you can hear the photographer's cameras flashing, and the people clapping and whistling. You snap out of your thoughts and look up. There's only one girl in front of you in line. You take quite possibly the longest breath you've ever taken before you hear those same repetitive words you've been hearing all night. "Okay Y/n, you ready?" You only nod in response. "10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Go." As soon as you heard the word you had to force yourself to walk. You could not let your nerves get the best of you right now.

    You walked onto the stage looking as ethereal as humanly possible. The bra had dozens of dainty diamond embedded silver chains that traveled down your body to the panties. The thong had the same diamond chains dangling from it that connected with your sheer sparkling thigh highs. The diamonds that were connected with the one that laid against your torso also traveled up and around your neck creating a diamond choker illusion. Your stilettos were covered in the same stunning diamonds. You were dripping head to toe in bling. And let's not get started on your wings. The wings were extravagant. There was feathers that blended into a sheer flowing fabric at the ends that blew and bounced in the wind when you walked. You had a head piece aswell it blended into your hair making it look like you had diamonds and snow in your hair. Your earrings were diamonds that were engraved to simulate snowflakes. You were an actual winter goddess.

     As you appeared on stage the crowd went absolutely crazy. You walked per usual but this time walking directly down the middle of the stage, hips gliding with the music. Your wings flowing and bouncing with every step you took. Looking from left to right engaging with the crowd. As you walked closer and closer to the end of the stage once again you locked eyes with him. You gave him a wink before posing for the cameras. Since you were closing you had an extended amount of time to pose for the cameras. It was like a flash bomb had went off. Every. Single. Photographer. in the building was taking hundreds of pictures of you. You stood there hands on your hips letting the artificial snow and wind do its job.

After your designated time you made a rash decision. Instead of turning around and walking back to backstage. You stepped down the stairs that were at the end of the stage and approached the mystery man. His eyes no longer appeared sleepy or dead, but now utterly surprised. Once you got close enough you extended your hand to him, and he happily obliged. His cold hand took yours and you guided him back up onto the stage. His friends whistling at you two. The cameras bombed you two. Once you got back on stage he gave you a little twirl. Your fingers were loosely grasping his as you guided him to backstage. You walked in front of him looking back at him every few seconds.

You both finally made it backstage and immediately you two were surrounded by managers and stylists, models gawking at you two. The models were laughing and smiling at the sight. "Ahh! Y/n you did it!" Your managers said wrapping an arm around you. Some of the backstage cameras recording and taking photos of the both of you. "And what's your name?" The manager turned and asked the man. He looked completely dazed and confused, while also smiling. "Uhm, Theo. Theodore Nott." He said shaking the managers hand. "Well I have business to attend to. You can stay backstage until we're done! Uhhh! Stacy get him a backstage pass!" The manager shouted for her assistant. Stacy comes up to him and wraps a lanyard around his neck. You turn to him to find him already looking at you. "So uhm, sorry about all that. I was just- My manager told me to." You looked down to find that you were both still holding hands. You quickly let go when you realized. "Yeah, no worries. I was just confused...but I really don't mind." His voice was as smooth as velvet.

As you looked up at him you took the opportunity to take in all of his features. He truly was as handsome as you thought. You both kinda just stood there looking at each other. "So...would you want to go to dinner with me?" He asks breaking the silence between you two. Even backstage where there's girls running around trying to get changing out of their pieces and managers trying to make sure everyone was doing their jobs, you felt as if the room was silent. "Yeah, that would be nice." You said softly as you tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear. His expression once questioning now soft. A small smile laced his lips. "I'm gonna go get changed, uhm, there's drinks and a snack table over there if you want anything. Oh, and if you want you could bring your friends back stage with you." You said giving him a small smile. "Yeah, okay, take your time. There's no rush." He said giving you one last smile before you turned to go back to the dressing room.

You made your way to the dressing room and when you got there you were swarmed with girls squealing and asking you questions. "Okay, okay. So, he asked me to dinner." "And what'd you say?!" "Well obviously I said yes!" All the girls were jumping and hugging you. "Well hurry up and get changed already you can't keep him waiting!!!" They ushered you into your dressing room and you hurriedly got changed back into your clothes you had came to the venue in. Due to the fact that before the show you had an interview for the BTS footage your outfit was simple. It was a black strapless dress from Versace that ended at a little below your knees. Your shoes were black Gianni Ribbon Pumps from Versace as well. Your hair was still in its classic VS blowout. You carried a small black shoulder purse. You stepped back out of your dressing room. "Do I look okay?" You said with a worried expression. "Yes? Is that even a question Y/n?" One model said smiling at you. You began walking out of the dressing room before quickly turning around, "Wait i'm nervous!" "Y/n you'll be finee! I'll walk you out of the dressing room, c'monnn let's go!" She said hooking your arm with hers. She walked you maybe 15feet out of the room and then he was in your line of sight. He and his friends stood all together right where you left him. The girl was chatting with Karolina and a stylist. "Now go...see he's waiting for you~" She cooed in your ear. You gave her a 'really.' look. "Okay —you take a breath— wish me luck!" You say before turning to walk over to him.

You immediately catch all of his attention. He looks almost awestruck? "Hey, i'm ready to go." You say softly smiling up at him. Your gaze then wanders to his friends who are watching and giggling at you two. "Don't worry about them, I already called the car service for them. As for us we'll be going to Providence. It's a very nice restaurant, I think you'll like it." He says with a charming smile. You've never been there but from what you've heard about the place the restaurant sounded luxury. "Yeah that's fine with me, whenever you're ready to go I am." Right when you say that your manager comes rushing to you. "Y/n! Y/n!" She says nearly out of breath as ran up to you. "Oh, Y/n~" She says as she sees you standing next to Theo. You roll your eyes playfully. "I just got you an interview with the director of GUCCI! He wants to speak with you now though so let's go!" She says trying to yank you. "Ericka! Wait!" You slightly yell trying to get out of her grasp. She lets go turning around to you with a worried face. You turn back around to Theo. "I'm sorry, I don't think-" He cuts you off, "Don't worry about it bella, we'll schedule dinner for another time. Now go. Don't let me stop you, okay." He says charming as ever as he tucks a stray piece of hair behind your ear. You blush slightly and give him a small smile. "Okay, thank you for understanding. Oh! Uhm, Ericka do you have a pen?" "Yeah, yeah, here." She says as she frantically looks for a pen and gives one to you. You take his hand and write.

415-***-**** Call me. XoXo.

You fold his hand then lean up to give him a small kiss on the cheek. He just stands there slightly blushing. "I'll see you soon, yeah?" You ask as you turn to walk away with Ericka. "Yeah." He says as he slightly licks his lips.

[allgremlinyaps]

The Most Underrated Line In All Of ATLA/TLOK And Its Many Worldbuilding Implications - A Ramble

In S2E7 of TLOK we get this dialogue from Wan and The Aye-Aye Spirit: "There are other Lion Turtles?" "Of course there are - dozens of them!" [timestamp 3:38 in this video]

It's such a quick line it's easy to miss, but there's one thing about it that made a LOT of things click into place for me about the Avatar universe's worldbuilding; the fact that there are (or were) dozens of Lion Turtles. NOT four, with one for each element, like you would assume. Dozens.

What does this mean in terms of the Four Nations? What connections might this have with other previously established lore? Well uhm follow me on this journey. I guess.

Pre-Unifications - A Global Warring States Era?

A warring states era on a wouldn't be nearly as compelling if there were only four Lion Turtles. If this were the case, everything would be perfectly balanced; why would there be disarray, violence, cultural disparity and struggles for power within each elemental group if the world was already perfectly divided into four solid groups? Why would a national identity be in question at all?

But the fact that there are more than one Lion Turtle per element... that means different groups of people being isolated from one another for long periods of time. This means different bodies of identity, regardless of element. Different city states, regional Kings, Queens, fiefdoms, dynastic power struggle, etc etc, before any sort of inherent loyalty the ones element as a national and cultural identity was established.

We know the Avatar world was not always divided into Four Nations. In Chapter 21 of The Rise Of Kyoshi we learn that Guru Laghima - a name you'll recognize from TLOK S3 - was from an era when the Four Nations had not yet been formed. We also know from Zaheer that he lived about 4,000 years before the events of TLOK (for context, thats about 6,000 years after Wan became the first Avatar).

There's further confirmation of this in Smoke And Shadow, where we learn about the first Firelord and the Fire Nation's unification wars.

However there's implications of this even in the original series; it's not some sloppy ret-con from the books and comics, it fits. Think Omashu:

In S2E2 of ATLA we get the story of Oma and Shu - and we learn that they come from "warring villages." Now why exactly would their villages be warring if The Earth Kingdom already existed? Why the need for a power struggle? Why is it not presented as a civil insurrection or civil war, but as a conflict between two distinct groups of people? The answer is that the "Earth Kingdom" as we conceptualize it did not exist. I'd go further and say that we can assume that after Omashu was established it became a powerful regional kingdom, and created strong sphere of cultural influence. Think about it - Bumi is King Of Omashu. King. NOT the Earth King, King Of The Earth Kingdom, but still King Of Omashu.

[Now there's some debate about where Omashu's founding sits on the timeline but to me it HAS to be post-Wan, probably very nearly immediately post-Wan. The line that calls them the "first earthbenders" and that they "learned earthbending from the badger moles" has caused some to question if they fit in with the "Lion Turtles bestowed bending" lore, but to me it fits pretty easily. The Lion Turtles may have bestowed the power but the actual technique was learned from the badger moles and dragons and blah blah blah.]

I also find this line from Jianzhu in The Rise Of Kyoshi very illuminating:

VINDICATION !! And Jianzhu's moaning over the cultural diversity within his country brings me to the second part of this post...

FC Yee And Gene Luen Yang Accidentally (?) Make Avatar's Cultural Mish Mash Make More Sense

Avatar's cultural gumbo of visuals has always been a little hard to parse. If you follow @atlaculture then you know it'd be kind of fruitless to try and apply any one single ethnicity/culture to one nation. A common, and very valid, criticism of Avatar is the pan-asian approach it takes to worldbuilding. I'm not here to defend that lol. I think people who dislike Avatar on that basis are well within their rights to do so, and I also think it's important to enjoy things critically.

HOWEVER, from a worldbuilding perspective, the mish mash becomes easier to swallow when you think of it in terms of multiple groups of people being unified into different nation states over a very long period of time and slowly intertwining their cultures into a single(ish) identity.

Take the Fire Nation for example: in FC Yee's The Shadow Of Kyoshi we learn that the government was much more decentralized and the country was controlled by different clans, like the Saowon and Keosho, who had individual spheres of influence and strong senses of identity. It makes me think about Mai and Ty Lee

They're both Fire Nation nobles and they both live in the Fire Nation capital - but their styles/clothes are completely different. Now, obviously that can be boiled down to personality-based character design but. There's a wide discrepancy between Mai's Edo Japan inspired hair and Ty Lee's Thai inspired performance outfit, and a little retroactive canon about them being part of different but powerful clans .. ? Yeah. That'd be fun, at the very least.

I could go on about this... was there a Water Lion Turtle at the north AND the south? How did the airbenders transition from relatively sedentary life on a Lion Turtle to nomadism? etc etc etc BUT in conclusion: TLOK and the comics have some very fun worldbuilding implications snuck in there !! Which makes up for a lot in my opinion. Personally I'd KILL for an Avatar series set in the warring states/unification period... I think that could be insanely cool...idk. The End. For Now.

[winterpinetrees]

Long Character Bio for Ryn.

Name: Councillor Ryn Stormson Mercuralis

Pronouns: He/Him

Species: Elf (Spark)

Age: 242 (about 40)

Special skills: genius tactician, sailor, just google Air Force Pararescue and see what they can do.

Appearance notes: 5’7 with a strong athletic build. He is ethnically ambiguous as most commonborn elves are, with wavy dark brown hair and dark gray eyes. Ryn has calloused hands and a tattoo of northern hemisphere constellations over his shoulders. He wears a noble vambrace with exactly two red dots. He has somewhat rectangular pointed ears.

I think this is going to be the longest bio. I rotate this guy around in my brain constantly. He’s just… in the wrong setting. He’s doing great, but he fundamentally should not be here.

Ryn Stormborn Mercuralis is the second most politically powerful person in the Elf World. He’s in the bottom 5% in terms of magical power though. Ryn has one biological son (Fen) but is also a father to Ishtar’s other kids. The coup would not have been successful without him. Thanks to his upbringing, Ryn views humans as well, human. He knows what a war crime is and wants to commit as few as possible. That being said, he wholeheartedly believes that global conquest is the best path forward. This will require war crimes.

Ryn was born about as far from the high nobility as possible. He is a spark from a harbor town parallel to the Gulf Coast. His people are Voyagers. What they lack in magical ability, (you will rarely find a Voyager that isn’t a spark or less) they make up for with grit. Ryn’s last name “Stormson” is actually a title given to the boldest and most skilled Voyagers. It means that Ryn can fly planes like a fighter pilot, sail solo across an ocean, and has basically every skill admired by the Voyagers. He earned this title by the equivalent of his late teens.

Around this time, the human world was going through the Industrial Revolution. Most elves believed that humans would discover radiation soon, and make it to space. Some, especially the nobility, felt threatened by this. Elves, for comparison, hadn’t sent anything to orbit in seven thousand years. Voyagers had been the best astronauts back then, but that was dozens of generations ago. All Voyagers want to go back to space, but it’s viewed as an impossible dream. But Ryn was a Stormson in his 60s. He’d already done the impossible, so why not do it again?

Ryn left home to try and join the nobility when he was 20 in human years. He not only survived the YA novel-esque noble school known as the Conservatory but excelled. He allied with Ishtar Mercuralis to win the final wargame and they earned global fame. Ryn became a rising star of the nobility, but was all but disowned by his people. Voyagers do not kill other kids. Guess what you do at the Conservatory. In the following decades, Ryn has used his power to slowly drag elf society back into a space age. They haven’t built any rockets yet, but they’re getting damn close, and public opinion is finally on his side.

Ryn is a peerless tactical genius and near-perfect shot, but without much magic, he is helpless in noble combat. His relationship with his birth culture is also complicated. He kept his title “stormson” even after joining Genus Mercuralis, and has been trying to raise all three of his children with Voyager values in mind. It’s really difficult though. The voyagers believe in curiosity, equity, and teamwork. The nobles run their entire society on eugenics. It’s Not Great.

If Ishtar is strength, then Ryn is resilience. He might not be able to crack a continental plate like she can, but the ocean and wind eventually wear everything down. Or at least Ryn likes to think of himself as the storm. He’s not. Ryn is a sailor at sea. He’s been dealing with powers he can’t match for centuries now. He can’t get out, he can’t take any of his choices back… and he doesn’t want to. Ryn has always done the impossible and he sees no reason why his luck should run out now. Ryn has forgotten how close he is to drowning.

Ryn watches a lot of softer sci-fi, both human stuff and elven media from the elf space age nearly ten thousand years ago. He is very emotionally invested in NASA. The song I associate with him is Notos by the Oh Hellos.

[tussive]

Some thoughts on various other social media/microblogging websites.

"Pillowfort.social is a new blogging platform where fans and creators alike can share their work, create a community of their own, and do so in a positive and safe environment. Pillowfort aims to be a sort of hybrid of your favorite blogging websites-- keeping the strengths of these platforms while compensating for their shortcomings." Dumb. Terrible name, hate it. Also it just looks like Tumblr so it seems like just another Tumblr clone, but they allow porn.

"We are a free and open-source platform to launch your digital brand, social network and mobile app. We are also a social network ourselves. It is a global social network of social networks. Available in either decentralized or centralized options."

So it's a social media network where you start your own social media network? Shut the fuck up.

"Image enthusiasts united. Discover, repost, contribute and share images stupid simple. Looking for an Tumblr & Reddit alternative, maybe for NSFW content , Thumbtable has you covered."

So like, okay I get that like if you sell NWS content, the Tumblr ban affected you financially and that's not very cool. My issue with the dozens of Tumblr-esque sites, but they allow porn, is that none of them have any users. So who are you selling your content to? Wouldn't it be better to just go on Twitter, where there are more users than Tumblr anyway?

"monocles social is based on mastodon. A privacy friendly social network."

I want every person registered for this site to die.

"Authpad is a frictionless approach to blogging."

Are people like, having issues with blogging that I'm not? Because I feel like this is pretty easy.

"The Dayum is first all in one website on the internet. See the most viral videos, read breaking news, and connect with friends and people around the world!"

So it's like Facebook but for people who are even less connected with the world? That's cool I guess. Stupid name though.

"Known is a simple platform for publishing words, pictures, podcasts and more to a site that you control. Choose to share it on social networks like Twitter and Facebook, or extend it to integrate with the software you already use."

Why does every site act like Facebook or Twitter integration is this desirable feature? If I want to post something to Facebook or Twitter, I'll just post it there. I do in fact post a lot of my text posts to Twitter and Bluesky and sometimes post images to Instagram. It's just easier to do it manually, I don't need every website to be attached to every other account I own. It's fine.

"Squabbles is a new social platform which combines elements of Reddit and Twitter. It takes the best of both worlds where you can both follow the people you love, and have great, in-depth conversations with them and others."

This one made me laugh because like, Reddit and Twitter are pretty much the two worst websites on the planet. And this one is the best of BOTH worlds? Holy shit. Even the name sounds like bickering with people you hate on the internet. "We're Squabbling!"

"a decent(ralised) secure gossip platform sea-slang for gossip - a scuttlebutt is basically a watercooler on a ship." This just makes me miss Yik Yak. I mean, I know they brought it back, but it's not fun anymore. I used to troll Yik Yak so hard. Everyone on there was just a fucking idiot, it was awesome.

Y'know, the other thing about Tumblr clones is somehow they all are worse than Tumblr. Tumblr is the most broken website I've ever used and somehow every clone of it has less features and works worse. How is that even possible? Maybe you just can't make a functional webslte like Tumblr. It's just not possible.

"A stream server that does most of what people really want from a social network."

Whoa.

"We like to think Plurk as a social network for weirdos - the cool, uncompromising and loving community for misfits we all long to have." Lamest userbase on this list, for sure.

"Social sharing blogging friends network - Whaleshares offer its users the opportunity to earn cryptocurrency rewards for posting and sharing content that interests them and that others find value in."

I'm pretty sure nothing I've ever said in my life has any monetary value. So I guess earning cryptocurrency for saying it is actually pretty fitting.

"Whispurr is a new interactive way to stay in touch with people. We all have something to say to those that matter."

Unrelated really, but this reminds me of the app Whisper. Apparently like in cities people use Whisper to meet up and have sex and buy drugs? I mean, I guess people use every app for that so it's not that odd, but Whisper? I don't know. I never got into Whisper tbh. Probably because I live in the middle of nowhere so there's no local posts.

"The new generation social networking client for people who value their time and are tired of information noise. Requires Adobe Air."

Okay I'm sorry but

This is the most cluttered UI I've ever seen on a social network website. Fuck off.

"Member.cash is a micro-blogging platform that uses the BCH blockchain for storing posts. Posts are impossible to delete and since member.cash uses an open protocol (memo), other websites can show the same posts."

Interesting. Posts you can't delete. That seems like a feature people would want.

I don't know dude. A lot of the newer social media sites seem like they're probably based on interesting technology, I just. It's all like decentralized and self-hosted and it's not actually a website it just saves your blog to your Dropbox and everyone is their own social media site and like it all just sounds fucking retarded to me.

I'm sorry, I'm not sure that this post was entertaining or funny to begin with, but it's certainly not after it's gone on for this long. My bad.

[weemietime]

Not to mention this, but you can plainly see it in Arabic articles on Wikipedia where Holocaust denialism is clear, which means that for anyone who doesn't speak English, the most comprehensive data on the Holocaust that they're liable to even glance at, is nothing more than antisemitic canard.

The word Holocaust is mentioned a grand total of 9 times. The rest of the article focuses on Hitler's family, lmao. There is not even a "Holocaust" section in this article, while there is very clearly one in English.

So yea, you can claim "it just means Palestine will be free," the same way you can claim there's no historical revisionism in major Arabic sources about WW2, even though the word "genocide" is used a grand total of twice and not even in the first paragraph blurb.

Compared to the English article, where it's used 7 times, however during each of those times it is then followed by a very clear and comprehensive explanation into what was actually being done (the mass organized murder of 6 million Jews and who was responsible for it) - again, not present in the Arabic version.

I also feel the need to sidebar that the eleven million figure (Jews and others) is fucking mythological. This number was given as an answer to a question by someone literally just guessing off the top of their head. The correct number is more like THIRTY FIVE MILLION but hey on Holocaust remembrance day we don't need facts fam!

Consider when packaged together by people claiming Israel ought to be eradicated and regurgitating literal al-Husseini rhetoric about Arabizing Israel during his Best Friend meetings with Adolf Hitler, and considering the quote exists in two other forms with the pan-Arab sentiments clearly in tact, don't turn around and bitch that nobody trusts you.

Especially when you fuckers are out there calling for globalized intifada. Instead of being a shill for Husseini, why don't you ever spend any time educating people on the multiple pan-Arab versions of this quote (and those who freely and proudly spew them) and condemning that? Could it be that you actually don't give a shit, mayhaps?

Color me shocked and stunned. By the way, Hamas was doing the same shit in Haifa that you idiots blame Israel for doing despite clear evidence of white phosphorous shells from Hamas, too. None of you fuckers give a shit about civilian casualties, you are just mask-off antisemites.

If this was really about Gaza being free from Israel then maybe you can explain why EVERY version of this quote features the phrase "from the River to the Sea"? From the river to the sea WHAT, exactly? Gaza is not located from the river to the sea, dipshit. It means that from the Mediterranean sea to the Jordan River Jews will be expelled so Arabs can move in.

And ftr, as far as I can tell, a majority of Jewish people would be fine with Arabs moving in to live peacefully alongside them. But as Hamas themselves have told you fucking imbeciles from their inception, right up until 2016 it was fully emblazoned on the Hamas charter itself in fact (that Hamas is not a government for Gaza but rather a tool to exterminate Jews), they do not WANT that.

Maybe instead of noble savage bullshit where poor brown people can do no wrong you can shut the fuck up and actually listen to what they are telling you they are going to do.

For every one Nakba (of which there was a grand total of one and which was reactionary to six Arab countries simultaneously attacking Israel despite most refugees there building in uninhabited completely worthless land which they farmed back to life themselves) there are dozens, hundreds of Farhuds and Hebron massacres and pogroms and expulsions and supercessionist revisionist oppressions.

None of you care that all Jews were expelled from Iraq and Yemen and Afghanistan and Ethiopia and Russia and on and on and on and on and on. Expelled to Israel. Then the leaders say oh death to Israel, tee hee, idk what ur talking about "the Jews who I expelled there will die????" no idea!!!

How about instead of chanting from the river to the sea you chant "Yemen, repatriate your Jewish population at once!" catchier, too. In the year of 2025 (btw a Christian year, after the death of CHRIST but let's just say Before common era yeah it's fine) during literal Holocaust remembrance day you motherfuckers continue to pull this shit.

Sit down and shut the fuck up forever.

Wait why is "from the river to the sea" a genocidal chant??

Simply put, it's being chanted by Hamas supporters, who have made it abundantly clear that they intend to control and ethnically cleanse by means of mass murder the entire region between "the river and the sea".

And the version "From the River to the Sea, Palestine will be free" is the English translation. In the original Arabic... well...

There are two versions:

min il-ṃayye la-l-ṃayye / Falasṭīn ʿarabiyye/من المية للمية / فلسطين عربية,

"from the water to the water / Palestine is Arab"

Which, well, doesn't have much room for non-Arabs, now does it?

And the version

min il-ṃayye la-l-ṃayye / Falasṭīn islāmiyye من المية للمية / فلسطين إسلامية,

"from the water to the water / Palestine is Islamic"

Well, that doesn't leave any room for Jews, now does it?

But yeah, given that the people chanting the slogan in English are doing so in explicit support of Hamas--which has said that they will continue to engage in 7/10-style attacks until they kill all of the Jews, which is not an exaggeration on my part--there is no way to take that statement as anything other than an endorsement of Jewish genocide or ethnic cleansing.

[abominationimperatrix]

A short list of extremely-specific lesser-known mythical monster tropes which I didn’t expect to be super widespread:

1.  Ogres which, when slain, spawn huge amounts of mosquitoes out of their bodies.

2.  Humanoid horrors that lurk at the tops of cliffs and kick passerbies down off of the ledge so that their mates and/or offspring can kill them.

3.  Depraved ex-human cannibals for whom one of their feet has rotten away into a spike of bone which they then stab people with.

4.  Creatures which resemble pitiful old men and beg people to carry them but their legs are actually tentacle-like “straps” which they use to kill or enslave their victims.

5.  Hairy ogres with axe-heads sticking out of their chests.

6.  Grotesque female humanoids with enormous, pendulous breasts, one of which they throw over their shoulder.  (That last detail specifically shows up more times than you would think possible.)

7.  Flying detachable heads.  Organs hanging down frequent but optional.

8.  The “animal that cannot lie down,” i.e. a monster without joints in its limbs that, you guessed it, cannot lie down and has to lean on things.

10.  So.  Many.  Backwards.  Feet.  Usually as a means of making trackers think they went in the opposite direction.

11.  Swallowers.  I.e., monsters that swallow huge amounts of victims but keep them inside in their stomachs before spitting them out when slain.  Most famously present in Sub-Saharan Africa, but basically everywhere.

12.  Bisected humanoids.  Creatures with only half a physical body, cut vertically.

13.  Headless monsters with faces on their chests.

14.  Natal revenants.  The undead remains of women who die in childbirth, usually as some sort of ghostly Succubus.

15.  Female creatures with hollow backs, the main giveaway of their supernatural nature.

16.  Living meteor demons that spread disease.

17.  Chicken-snake hybrids.

18.  Rattite-snake hybrids.

19.  Parrot-snake hybrids.

20.  Monsters that fly around in the atmosphere, and if you look at them you die.  (Related to number 16.)

21.  In arid regions, RAINBOW TASTE YOU.  (Because it signals the end of much-needed rain and is therefore seen in a negative light and personified as something malicious.  

22.  Owl demons!  Tend to be witchy/hag-like.

23.  Succubi whose only giveaway of their monstrousness is a single hooved foot.

24.  People cursed into becoming weird donkey-things.

25.  River blockers.  Monsters who block off water supplies in order to cause droughts, and must be slain for that reason.

26.  Monsters who inflict some kind of seemingly unsurvivable body horror on you, before resurrecting you long enough to go home at which point you promptly die for reals this time.

And many, many, more, but I’m tired right now.  Might update later.

Update:  Wow!  I did not expect this blow up, or for this many people to be interested!  This was very spur of the moment and off the top of my head, I assumed I would just be infodumping into the void.  I’m going to write up examples for all of these, I’m just going to need a little bit of time to get my sources in order to make sure they I don’t misrepresent or misremember anything.  How common a lot of these are varies, some tend to be primarily amongst neighboring cultures in specific regions, others tend to be downright global.  And some have dozens of instances while others are more like that Doofenshmirtz meme.  (I’d only have two nickels but I’m surprised it happened twice).  

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Audrey II

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Man-eating plants are really cool, but you really don’t see them a lot in fiction these days. Sure, your average Scrimblo Bimblo is probably going to have to jump over a few of them in his game, but you never really see one take charge and be the big bad.

Well that’s cuz none of those other plants have half the guts Audrey II does.

An alien plant that zapped down to Earth during an eclipse, it ingratiates itself with the weak-willed Seymour, manipulating him into feeding it human flesh and blood so it can become bigger and stronger in its quest to spread across the world. And it does it all with great style, a killer smile, and one badass villain song.

Motivation/Goals: Audrey II’s got one goal in mind, and that is global domination. To this end, it dupes Seymour into feeding it and giving it the power to grow and expand. It’s kind of your typical evil alien plotline, combined with a “be careful what you wish for angle.” Seymour is getting fame and fortune at the cost of his soul and his peace of mind, and the plant bringing him this good fortune is duping him.

Performance: Levi Stubb’s of The Four Tops played Audrey II in one of his only two voice roles, the other being Captain N’s version of Mother Brain. Stubb realized that he was simply too powerful and had to give other people a chance to voice act, so he dipped and went back to being a hugely iconic Motown singer for the rest of his life after these two roles. Boy, does the man kill it as Audrey II though!   But we can’t give all the credit to Stubb for bringing Audrey II to life, though his voice is the big selling point; props must also be given to the dozens of puppeteers who worked tirelessly to make this massive plant puppet feel as alive as it does. All of it just comes together perfectly.

Final Fate:  It really depends on what version you’re watching. If you’re watching the theatrical version, Seymour manages to get the upper hand on the Mean Green Mother from Outer Space and manages to blow it up with an extremely corny stock explosion effect… or does he? Despite the seemingly happy ending, there’s another Audrey II in Seymour and Audrey’s yard. Dun dun dun!

In the Director’s Cut, though, Audrey II’s big song ends a little differently, namely in that Seymour fails and is eaten, which lets Audrey II’s plan go on completely unimpeded. Cue one of the most impressive feats of special effects and puppet work you will ever see as Audrey II and its numerous duplicates go on a kaiju rampage through New York. The movie ends with the fate of the world up in the air, and even the fourth wall isn’t gonna protect you because Audrey II bursts out of the screen.

Best Scene: “Mean Green Mother from Outer Space” is hands down Audrey II’s finest moment, simply because it is an awesome villain song sung by an alien plant voiced by a legendary Motown singer. 

Of course, if we’re considering the Director’s Cut here, the extended kaiju rampage is just breathtaking with how impressive it is.

Best Quote: Say it with me now: “FEED ME.”

Final Thoughts & Score: Man-eating plants are seldom the big bad in fiction, and it’s a real shame when the original Audrey II, Audrey Jr., is one of the most influential man-eating plants in all of media (it inspired the Piranha Plants in Mario for crying out loud!). But I guess there’s a good reason for that: When there’s already Audrey II, where else can you go but down?

This villainous Venus Flytrap from the cosmos is just a glorious slice of B-movie fun. It has an amazing design coupled with fantastic puppet work and voice acting, it has a simple yet effective motivation and goal, and it has an awesome villain song. What more do you even need from a villain? Audrey II is just a clear and obvious 10/10, hands down, no question. 

A big part of why Audrey II is so great is just the sheer audacity of it. This is a big, goofy plant monster who says shit like “Tough titty” and sings a toe-tapping villain song, and yet at the end of the day it is just so thoroughly wicked, evil, and manipulative. It’s such a charismatic creature that manages to be both genuinely, terrifyingly evil and awesomely fun and memorable. When it comes to horticultural horrors, there’s simply no comparison (Save maybe for Biollante, but she’s not really evil).

[uraniumbunny]

USA economy, easy.

On the surfice you're a farmer country with some heavy industries as well, but you also have media and information technology. There's price shown without tax, then go to the cashier and pay with tax (different price). Overcharge already expensive healthcare cause you can. Buy ridiculously cheap goods from Arab and east Asian countries and then cultivate the idea they're all governed by dictators and oh poor exploited people but hey if government and CNN says we should go and liberate them then we should! Ok, so: deploy troops, make war, negotiate with ally countries for weapons and support, let's go invade, yay! But if not in the mood for it now and want to be quieter, just drop a few bases here and there, let's have military bases everywhere just in case (especially those countries we won't invade yet, but we're getting in using other ways, shhhh). Also place some intelligence to convince our South American "friends" their socialist governments are poison, so one or two Operation Condor to keep those enemies of the Empire at bay. Meanwhile US civilians get distracted by watching the Kardashians on E!, or maybe they're already too worried about their student debt, so they won't care about war or our IMF destroying other countries' economies, let's just have a burger for $6, or buy makeup bc if I watch Kylie videos on tiktok I feel like her (remember, tiktok BAD, but Kylie GOOD). Or let's be a member of a very-white (wtf with USA's obsession with "race", anyway?), very conservative bible-based faith, there are lots to choose from, bc paying the mortgage for a huge house I didn't have money for, but really really wanted bc bigger is better and this is America, is depressing. I still haven't talked about those Colombians and Mexican cartels and making dozens of narco series on Netflix (but hey, guess who's the world's biggest coke consumer? And I'm not talking about the drink). Not to be confused with Columbia, that sort of educational company that arrests their students using state terrorism bc they're peacefully protesting for a noble cause, nu-uh. And oh! global warming, we're second or third most contaminant country but CHINA BAD, veeerrry bad, unless, unless they continue supplying goods very cheap, China bad but not so much.

I think I missed one or two things, but it's mostly grains and bad meat, private healthcare and education, war business and media cultural imperialism.

(HAHA they're gonna hate me, I don't caaare)

hello my personal stalker CIA agent, I'm having some mates 🧉. I wish I could share some with you...

Americans talking about inflation: 3 years ago, 5 dollars got you 3 burger, now it's only two😱‼️💥the west has fallen we are a failed country

argentinians going outside: uhm do you think 30.000 pesos is enough to buy groceries this week? last week I spent 15.000 so I think it'll be enough... might skip the coffee Tho..and buy less meat... and less dairy... and-

[laurelnose]

Very New to your blog and the posts are probably way old but I saw you do Witcher Biology (??) rants sometimes and Id love to hear your take, if you have one, on what monsters (namely "naturally occurring" ones like draconids and insectoids) contribute to the ecosystem if anything and whether or not they should be hunted into extinction. I was discussing it w/ a friend last night after dealing with Iocaste, the last silver basilisk, and now its smthn I'm Invested in

re monster ecosystems: I just figure theyve probably found a niche in the world by now and can eat anything smaller incl. humans but because theyve got no natural predators aside from eachother and arent hunted by anything but witchers , monsters are just breeding and eating and wldnt that damage the land? or have they made their own like, circle of life or whatever ? Ive little knowledge on the subject as a whole but the whole thing intrigues me

hi & extremely belated welcome, anon! my apologies for the length of time you’ve been waiting for this answer; I had to think carefully about how I wanted to respond to this ask, because: there’s a lot going on here. also, because I am a disaster, I ended up posting it to ao3 first while I was avoiding tumblr for a spell and then completely forgot to come back. oops. i’m sorry!! This one’s about 5000 words long, which is a lot for tumblr, so reading on AO3 may be preferable.

-

The two main thrusts of your first ask (how do monsters interact with the ecosystem and should they be eradicated from the Continent) are questions of invasion ecology, the study of non-native/invasive species and their effects on the environment. Monsters, having arrived on the Continent about 1200 years ago during the Conjunction of Spheres from entirely alien dimensions, are indeed technically non-native species!

However, invasion ecology is…somewhat controversial, to say the least—there are a lot of invasive species, who have a lot of different & complex impacts, and a lot of different ideas about what we might do about any of this, and it’s basically all arguing all the time, so I wasn’t really sure how I wanted to approach the topic. Not to mention that for reasons I couldn’t initially put my finger on, it seemed wrong to apply theories of invasion ecology to the Witcher monsters. We’ll get into it! There are also a couple of common misconceptions/oversimplifications of how ecology works in your second ask which I want to unpack. Hopefully I pulled this together into something that makes sense, and feel free to ask me for clarification!

Some important background facts:

Species have always been moving to and “invading” new places on their own; humans and globalization have accelerated this process into a Big Problem, as the sheer number of invasive species being introduced all over the globe strains ecosystems already under pressure, but “native ranges” are always shifting, sometimes more dramatically than you might expect. If you go far enough back in time, all species are “non-native”.

Because of this, the very definition of “invasive species” is hotly contested. This is why you’ll hear dozens of terms like introduced species, injurious species, naturalized species, non-native species, etc.; these all have slightly different connotations, but all refer to a species that did not originate in a particular location.

An introduced species is usually classified as “invasive” as opposed to “non-native” or “naturalized” if its presence significantly alters the ecosystem it invades; some people define this more narrowly as a species that causes harm to an ecosystem. “Harm” can take a lot of different forms, as every non-native species interacts differently with the ecosystem they were introduced to.

Aside from various potential impacts to human economic activity, most forms of ecological harm by introduced species involve the decline of native species, by a variety of mechanisms; invaders might eat natives, outcompete them for food, interbreed with them, carry novel pathogens, etc. Invasive species are primarily a threat to biodiversity.

Now, here’s my Hot Take:

The Conjunction of Spheres is analogous to real-life ecological cataclysms such as the Cretaceous-Paleogene extinction event, and thus monsters are not invasive species.

The Cretaceous-Paleogene extinction event saw the extinction of 75% of all species on Earth after the Chicxulub asteroid hit, including the non-avian dinosaurs. The Earth has had several disasters like this, of varying severity—the Great Oxidation Event killed almost literally everything on Earth except for the cyanobacteria who caused it. These cataclysmic extinction events completely upended existing ecosystems, altering habitats beyond recognition and leaving swathes of niches emptied of life that the survivors could evolve to exploit.

The most recent Conjunction of Spheres on the Continent is supposed to have thrown everyone living on the planet at the time into chaos and darkness; it wouldn’t be unreasonable to assume that the interpenetration of multiple spheres caused mass extinction of species living in the pre-Conjunction environment, similar to Chicxulub or the GOE!

But Socks, you might say, evolution works on a massive timescale! It took millions of years to fill the niches left open by Chicxulub, but it’s only been 1200 years since the Conjunction of Spheres! And you are absolutely right*, but the Conjunction of Spheres canonically came pre-loaded with new species. We actually have no proof that any of the animals we see originated on the Continent: if humans are a post-Conjunction phenomenon, why not also dogs? Why not bears? Who’s to say any of those were actually there before-hand? (The elves, I guess, but as they have not, actually, said so, there’s no proof!!)

* FTR, 1200 years is a shockingly short period of time to go from cataclysm that plunged the world into darkness and chaos to functioning medieval-era society considering how long it actually took humanity to build 13 century Europe (horses had been domesticated for at least 3000 years by that time), even if we’re not assuming that most of the ecosystem was destroyed, so, my timeline concerns here are minimal, lmfao. TIMELINE WHAT TIMELINE.

…and actually now that I think about it the three options for the origin of dogs are a) elves or dwarves domesticated them, b) humans brought dogs with them during the Conjunction, or c) dogs have existed for less than 1200 years, and I refuse to accept that dogs are practically a new invention in the witcherverse, wtf.

Anyways: we really have no idea which species are truly “native” to the Continent, or what the physical environment was like prior to the Conjunction. While monsters are not native to the Continent, monsters are also not invasive—there cannot be decline of pre-Conjunction biodiversity or harm to the pre-Conjunction ecosystem because there is no pre-Conjunction ecosystem anymore.

should monsters be hunted to extinction?

So, the thing is, I think we should try to eradicate invasive species from non-native ranges if we can; the biggest problem with that is feasibility, not morality. It’s much more difficult than one might think to eradicate an invasive species once it’s established, and we have to be very careful that the methods we choose don’t have other impacts, but invasive species are a huge threat to the biodiversity of Earth! If monsters are invasive species, then the answer is yes, they should be eradicated from the places they are not native to.

(Notably, on Earth this kind of eradication is not the same thing as extinction; it would be a local extinction, or extirpation, where the species is totally wiped out in the places it invaded but still exists in its native range. This does get way more complicated if the invasive is already extinct in its native range.)

However, I have just outlined a possibility that would make it plausible for monsters not to be invasive species. Let me also outline why I prefer this interpretation. Here is a book conversation between the sorcerer Dorregaray of Vole and Geralt:

“Our world is in equilibrium. The annihilation, the killing, of any creatures that inhabit this world upsets that equilibrium. And a lack of equilibrium brings closer extinction; extinction and the end of the world as we know it. … Every species has its own natural enemies, every one is the natural enemy of other species. That also includes humans. The extermination of the natural enemies of humans, which you dedicate yourself to, and which one can begin to observe, threatens the degeneration of the race.”

“Do you know what, sorcerer?” Geralt said, annoyed. “One day, take yourself to a mother whose child has been devoured by a basilisk, and tell her she ought to be glad, because thanks to that the human race has escaped degeneration. See what she says to you.”

–The Bounds of Reason, ch. 6

This is a, uh, incredibly unsubtle reference to a debate that has been ongoing for decades; Geralt’s stance here is one of the key arguments in opposition to wolf and bear reintroduction. What do we do about large predators that may pose a threat to humans? How do we balance preservation of the ecosystem with the safety of people who have to coexist with these predators?

I can’t fully agree with Geralt, because large predators are integral to the ecosystem, which I value for its own sake and because humans depend on healthy ecosystems. But I can’t fully agree with Dorregaray either, because Geralt is right: human life is valuable and worthy of protecting. This is an issue that India has been running into in the past ten years; as their tiger conservation efforts yield fruit, people become more likely to encounter tigers, and thus more likely to have a bad encounter with a tiger. It’s become a political struggle as rural people who have to actually live with the possibility of a tiger attack come into conflict with urban conservationists who just really want to preserve tigers (& in some incidents, some of those conservationists have been Western, which is a whole additional level of fuckery). The fact is, there isn’t a good answer to this yet! We certainly should not drive tigers, wolves, or any other large predator to extinction, but we also have to figure out a way to keep people safe. It’s something humanity still has to wrestle with.

Under this framing, which CDPR reinforced when they chose to have the Count di Salvaress defend Iocaste as an endangered species while making significant provisions to minimize the damage she could do to human life, there’s far too much baggage attached for me to say yes, monsters should be hunted into extinction. If you’re going to make monsters analogous to wolves, of course I do not think we should get rid of monsters entirely!

And frankly, Geralt doesn’t think so either, despite his hardline stance about monsters that eat humans. Sapkowski isn’t exactly an anti-conservationist; though Dorregaray is shown as out of touch in this passage, at another point the narrative sides with him calling Philippa out on exterminating a species of ermine for her fur collar, and it’s consistently put forth that Geralt’s best quality is that he doesn’t want to perform violence for the sake of it or destroy things without cause, and one of the representations of that is that he refuses to kill endangered species even at cost to himself:

“What should I say about you, who rejects a lucrative proposition every other day? You won’t kill hirikkas, because they’re an endangered species, or mecopterans, because they’re harmless, or night spirits, because they’re sweet, or dragons, because your code forbids it.”

–Eternal Flame, ch. 2

If monsters and other post-Conjunction creatures are invasive species, the nuance in this conversation is flattened, and Geralt’s refusal to kill mecopterans and hirikkas becomes a flaw rather than a virtue. Boring! I also think that one of the strongest themes in the witcherverse is the idea of all monsters being human ills; wraiths are manifestations of hatred, necrophages multiply because of human bloodshed, cursed ones are created out of malice, mages like Alzur and Idarran of Ulivo go out of their way to straight-up create monsters from scratch*, etc. Iocaste attacks humans and takes livestock because the traditional prey of the silver basilisk, roe deer, has been extirpated by human destruction of their habitat. The aeschna in Blood of Elves attacks humans because humans have altered and polluted the flow of the Pontar, hunting the aeschna’s previous food (seals) to extinction. The true monster is the actions of humans. Monsters that appeared unbidden from another dimension into a previously functional ecosystem to invade and cause problems undermines this theme; monsters that are integrated into the ecosystem and subject to the same social and ecological forces as other animals supports it.

* Idarran’s “idr” monsters from Season of Storms absolutely should be eradicated. Did the world not have enough man-eating arthropods, Idarran? Did you really have to mutate horrible new ones and release them in populated areas?? Mages are a scourge, lmfao

Additionally, one of the biggest reasons I felt like I couldn’t actually apply invasion ecology to monsters was that, whether you accept my Conjunction theory as sufficient biological justification for this or not, monsters just don’t really behave like invasive species. It’s hard to explain this because the setting is pretty brief about its ecological details, but aside from the fact that the narrative frames them like just part of the ecosystem of the world, there are never any details like “that type of flower doesn’t exist anymore because giant centipede tunneling destroyed the soil they needed to grow in.” When monsters are the aggressors, their victims are always humans, not the environment or other animals, and again monsters are themselves often treated as victims of human actions.

So I say monsters aren’t invasive species!

Which means that monsters are, regardless of their strange origins, now a part of the Continent’s ecosystem just as much as bears and wolves.

So let’s talk monster ecology.

what do monsters contribute to the ecosystem, if anything?

So, the phrase “contributing to the ecosystem” is actually super loaded, and I want to unpack that before we go anywhere else. Ecosystems are made up of organisms, and organisms interact with and impact ecosystems, but they don’t necessarily contribute to ecosystems! The implication of “contribute” is that it is possible for an organism to not contribute, and it follows from there that some organisms are not useful. This is functionally nonsensical, and also dangerous.

Conservationists talk a lot about “intrinsic value,” which in this context is the idea that we should want to keep species around just because their existence is valuable! Biodiversity is intrinsically valuable. This is important, firstly because I do believe that all species are intrinsically valuable, but also: ecosystems are so enormously complicated that we do not know the full extent of any species or individual organism’s impact, and we can’t predict what the consequences of removing any given species might be. Treating all species as intrinsically valuable is hedging our bets. All organisms affect the ecosystem, because it’s impossible for them not to, and while some species definitely have outsize impact, none of them are “not contributing,” and frankly even if some of them weren’t, it would be the absolute height of human arrogance for us to decide we could tell which ones were useless when we barely even know what most species eat. Mosquitoes are the base of the entire goddamn food chain, and you still get assholes claiming they don’t “contribute anything.” Of course, most people don’t really mean all of these implications when they use the phrase, but I don’t find it useful to talk about what species “contribute,” and avoid using that language if I can!

What I assume you mean by “what do monsters contribute” is a combination of “what roles might monsters play in the ecosystem” and “are monsters actively harmful to the ecosystem, i.e. do they cause loss of biodiversity?”

And this is difficult to answer! As I’ve said, I don’t think monsters are invasive species, and thus don’t harm the ecosystem, though we know that monsters can be harmful to humans. However, when it comes to the role they do play in the ecosystem, there isn’t enough in canon for me to do more than wildly speculate! Also, there are so so many of them, and the role of a hirikka is going to be wildly different from that of a draconid.

Just offhandedly, most of the big predatory monsters can be assumed to fill the same roles as Earth’s big predators, one of the big ones being overpopulation of prey species, which has ramifications throughout the ecosystem. Some of them are canonically ecosystem engineers, or animals that physically alter their environment (think beavers); for instance, shaelmaar and nekker tunneling. Additionally, the big insectoid colonies can’t be relying solely on naturally-occurring caves for their homes; they’ve gotta be constructing some stuff themselves. These tunnels can be repurposed as habitat for other organisms, from giant centipedes to sewant mushrooms. Necrophages, like corpse-eaters in our world, likely limit the spread of diseases from decomposing flesh (and really wouldn’t be as much of an issue if everyone would stop, you know, doing war and mass murder, lmfao). Arachasae use tree trunks and organic plant material to conceal themselves, which is likely contributing to plant reproduction in a few different ways—but the arachasae decorating essay is a different topic that I swear I will finish one day oh my god—

…anyways, feel free to ask about any specific monsters or niches if you’re curious, but if I tried to go into detail with every single potential niche/ecosystem service all of the monsters we know of might fill, we would be here all day!

Let’s talk about a couple specific things you brought up in your second ask.

> theyve probably found a niche in the world by now and can eat anything smaller incl. humans

I mean…maybe! That is, yeah, they’ve definitely settled into niches by now, but feeding is way more complicated and interesting than that.

For instance: orcas can eat basically whatever the fuck they want—orcas are fully capable of bringing down everything from fish to seals to gray whales to great white sharks. But they don’t. In the Pacific Northwest, the resident orca pods almost exclusively eat salmon, while the transient pods largely feed on seals. Orcas are kind of an extreme example, but this is something called resource partitioning and it’s a big part of how animals limit competition with one another and what enables lots of predators to coexist in one place!

We see a big fuck-off dragon thing and we assume that it’ll eat anything it can fit in its mouth, and definitely some predators work like that. But just because an animal is technically capable of eating something and deriving nutrition from it doesn’t mean that it will. Silver basilisks made roe deer the staple of their diet before the destruction of beech forests meant they had to turn to humans—which is a pretty specific dietary restriction when there should be multiple species of deer running around, not to mention everything else a draconid could be killing! And given how many types of draconid there are…I have to assume there’s some kind of resource partitioning going on to prevent them all from conflicting with each other! For instance, if basilisks prefer roe deer, maybe forktails prefer wild goats, while wyverns are mostly kleptoparasitic (stealing other predators’ kills).

And of course, not all monsters eat humans at all; harpies steal from and attack humans, so they’re a dangerous nuisance, but they don’t seem to eat them. And in the books Geralt mentions plenty of monsters which are totally harmless.

So yes, there are lots of things monsters could be eating, but it would strongly depend, and there’s a lot of interesting places one can take monster diets! Netflix decided their strigas only eat specific organs, leaving the rest of the body untouche, & I love that for her. More monsters that need a particular kind of nutrition that leads them to take only specific body parts from some kills!

> because theyve got no natural predators aside from each other and arent hunted by anything but witchers, monsters are just breeding and eating and wldnt that damage the land? or have they made their own like, circle of life or whatever ?

Absolutely—invasive species whose populations rapidly increase once they’re away from their natural predators cause the decline of native species, often by eating natives directly or competing with natives for resources. And in fact, even native species who become overpopulated can seriously damage the ecosystem (see: white-tailed deer in the United States, whose overpopulation has such negative ecological effects that some people argue we should classify them as invasive, even though they have definitely been here this whole time).

However, even if we grant that monsters are invasive, it’s a little more complicated than that for a few reasons!

Despite the apparent preponderance of them in the witcher games, most monsters are supposed to be strongly on the decline, like witchers themselves. Geralt’s profession is falling out of necessity; human development of the Continent is going to be the biggest suppressing factor in monster populations in the future. Monster overpopulation is just canonically not a problem in this universe! But even in the scenario where the Inevitable March Of Civilization isn’t threatening monster populations, there are a lot of factors that could and would limit monster populations.

(TL;DR for this next part: yeah I definitely think they’ve figured out their own little circle of life—the term you’re looking for is ecosystem equilibrium, btw!—& I’m going to take the next 1.2k to talk about how.)

For starters, predation is only one among many limiting factors that affect populations & prevent them from ballooning out of control:

food availability: If there’s not enough food, there’s not enough food! It also matters how adaptable the animal’s diet is—silver basilisks moved from deer to humans, but if the eucalyptus went extinct koalas would not switch to eating cycads.

illness and parasites: Some people argue these are more important than direct predation for limiting populations, and I am often inclined to agree. Basically, if a population becomes very dense, illness and parasites spread more quickly, creating a natural limiter on how many animals can live in any one place. The greater susceptibility of some individuals to illness or parasites also winnows down populations. Non-native species often escape a good portion of their native diseases by moving to a new range—however, given how fast bacteria and viruses evolve, 1,200 years is a pretty decent amount of time for new diseases to arise. Also, just going to drop a link to my treatise on monster parasites here. It’s gross, mind the warning at the start of the post.

mate availability: If only a certain percentage of the population is actually able to reproduce, that’ll eventually bring the total number down. RIP Iocaste’s boyfriend 😔

territory/shelter availability: Animals need a certain amount of space and certain types of spaces to survive, and space isn’t infinite! It again depends on how adaptable an animal is; rats find ways to thrive nearly everywhere, but pandas can only live where there’s bamboo. If there’s not enough space to hide from predators, reproduce safely, store food, and avoid adverse weather, the population again limits itself naturally.

natural disasters: Wildfires, drought, flooding, tsunamis, storms, etc. pick off significant portions of wildlife populations. Disasters are sporadic rather than directly linked to population like most of the other factors but these periodic blows to population and the other impacts of fire or flooding are often integral to the ecosystem (see especially: fire regimes and fire ecology.)

Now let’s talk predation & monsters! (Genuinely, I think predation is one of the most interesting things in ecology; people tend to simplify it down to things eat other things, which—yeah, but there’s so much more going on there!)

First, I wouldn’t underestimate the effects of monsters eating other monsters! Even if it’s rare for a draconid to snatch up a nekker and carry it off, the threat of a draconid doing so can have dramatic impacts; researchers found that just playing the sound of dog barks on a beach stopped raccoons from foraging for crabs for over a month after the barking stopped, leading to an increase in crab populations, even though no raccoons ever encountered a dog. This is called the ecosystem of fear (which as a term is metal as hell) and it theorizes that just the fear of predators can lead to chronic stress for prey animals, decreasing reproduction and making them more susceptible to disease. Maybe draconids in Toussaint eat only a few dozen nekkers a year, but that might cause thousands of nekkers to have fewer offspring or fall to disease. When it comes to ecosystems the direct effect is usually only a small part of the story!

Second, when we talk about a species not having natural predators, we’re usually talking about an animal that would have a predator back in its home range—lionfish, for instance, have plenty of predators in their natural range (the Indo-Pacific), but no natural predators in their invasive range (the Caribbean), so invasive lionfish, suddenly freed of a limiting factor, can run amok. However, a great white shark has, aside from orcas (who do not actually eat white sharks, they’re just assholes sometimes) and occasionally other white sharks, more or less no natural predators anywhere once it reaches maturity, and that’s fine! Lack of predation of great white sharks did not cause their populations to explode and consume the ocean. White sharks are limited by other factors.

So: it is possible that wherever draconids originated (and it’s entirely possible that “draconids” came from multiple different places, tbh) there was something bigger that preyed on them, but it’s not unreasonable to assume they were also apex predators in their previous dimension (I mean…look at them), and that adult draconids were never really preyed on by anything else! It isn’t necessarily an issue for there not to be predators of certain monsters on the Continent.

(Though, of course, we also shouldn’t forget that most apex predators are prey when they’re young—baby white sharks are snack-sized for a lot of fishes, and bear cubs and wolf pups are similarly vulnerable. Based on the size of the eggs you see in TW3 draconid nests, a basilisk is hatched around the size of a little dog, which is the perfect size for small, ballsy predators such as wolverines to sneak into a nest and snap them up—predators such as more wolverines or raptors like eagles and hawks might also come directly for the eggs.)

When it comes to smaller monsters such as nekkers, who likely weren’t apex predators in their original dimensions and would thus be subject to that lack of natural predators—there are usually specific reasons why prey species manage to avoid predation in their introduced range. Lionfish confound Caribbean predators because lionfish are covered with huge poisonous spines that Caribbean predators don’t know how to deal with.

Drowners, on the other hand, are basically just man-shaped fish; they don’t have any adaptations or defenses that would really stump a bear or a wolf. Again, bigger monsters are still probably checking the populations of smaller monsters no matter what, but there’s really no reason a bear couldn’t figure out how to eat a drowner! Unless a monster has a unique defense (e.g. scurver spines), is actively distasteful to eat (rotfiends, probably), or is just difficult to take down (nekkers in packs), most of the non-monster predators* on the Continent will have incorporated various monsters into their diet by now, or suppressed monster populations indirectly with the threat of predation or by competing with them for food. It has been over a thousand years, which is nothing evolutionarily but is still a decent period of time for mammals, who pass hunting techniques down to their babies, to figure out how to eat ghouls—especially if we’re considering that the Continent’s mammals may also be a result of the Conjunction and would thus have to have been just as adaptable as the monsters to establish themselves. And I’ve also actually talked before about how wolves specifically might be preying on necrophages!

* For reference, the non-monster predators are, considering the Continent is more or less Europe, most likely lynxes, brown bears/polar bears (in Skellige), wolverines, foxes, badgers, and a variety of large birds of prey.

So—yes, if monsters were truly overpopulating, then that would damage the ecosystem. However, canon tells us they are definitely not doing that, and there are also many factors that would prevent that from happening!

(Though I will say that some of the reasons white-tailed deer are overpopulated are that we got rid of cougars and wolves and human development creates a lot of extra habitat of the type that deer like. Given that we know many of draconids are for sure in significant danger of going extinct, and the trajectory that Europe’s wolf and bear populations followed in real life, it is possible that the Continent will have to contend with an overpopulation of some of the smaller monsters at some point as they continue to try to eradicate the larger predators, both monster and non-monsters—you think the drowner problem is bad now, wait until the bears are gone and city development has tripled the number of sewers. Yet another of those humans-make-monster-problems-worse things I am fond of in the Witcherverse!)

…whew. that was a lot of words. In conclusion: ecology is really cool & there’s a bunch of ways monsters can fit into it!!

[lady-divine-writes]

Kurtbastian one-shot - “Confrontation” (Rated PG13)

Summary: Things get heated at Blaine's first post-quarantine competition when his father and his old coach make a surprise visit. (2397 words)

Notes: Warning for homophobia. Blaine friendly.

Part 68 of Outside Edge.

Read on AO3.

"This is not happening... this is not happening... " Blaine mumbles, pacing back and forth, arms wrapped tight around his torso but carefully so as not to dislodge any of the hundreds of crystals Kurt had applied by hand to this new costume he'd made especially for him. 

A costume so intricate and lovingly crafted that Sebastian turns green every time he's in its presence (even though Kurt has made him close to a dozen of his own).

"It's going to be all right," Kurt says, trying his best to calm Blaine down. He reaches out a hand to stop him but decides against it. He understands the pain of suffering from this level of anxiety. Standing still when you're about to rip out of your skin can be the worst feeling in the world. 

"I'm not doing this... " Blaine decides, tapping his right fist against his left elbow. "I'm not---I'm not doing this... "

"Too late, champ," Sebastian teases, tucking his button-up into his slacks and joining the freak-out already in process. "You've already skated. No backing out now."

"No jokes!" Kurt hisses. "That's not what this is about!"

"Then what is it?" Sebastian asks, growing concerned when Blaine starts to curl in on himself. Sebastian steps in front of him, feeling a need to shield him from prying eyes wandering by. "I was in the can for all of three minutes. What in the hell happened?"

Kurt leans into Sebastian's side and whispers, "His father's here. And his old coach."

"What the fuck?" Sebastian turns in a circle, half looking for the men in question (even though he's never seen either, so he has no idea who he's looking for), but also searching for a place they can hide, get Blaine out of the public eye. "What the hell are they doing here?"

"I... I don't know. I don't know how they even knew I'd be here," Blaine replies.

"They'd had to have Googled you," Sebastian says, eyes darting back and forth over the crowd.

"Why would they do that? My dad said he never wanted to see me again! So what's the point?"

"I don't know," Sebastian admits. Would it be too much to ask that it's because the man actually cares about Blaine? Sebastian doesn't know a thing about him other than he punched his son and threw him out onto the street, so he can't answer that question, but from the outset, most signs point to no. 

Sebastian hopes the man proves him wrong.

He isn't one for seeing the good in people. He'd rather believe that most are self-serving assholes, that way he's not disappointed when he's right. But this is Blaine's dad. And regardless of Sebastian feeling a bit jealous of his relationship with Kurt, Sebastian secretly prays that one day Blaine and his dad can make amends.

Sebastian spots a line of locker rooms, the doors painted to blend with the walls. They're about the size of the average closet, but hunkering down in a cramped room is better than waiting around for the inevitable. "Come on, guys. We can duck in there."

Kurt takes Blaine by the elbow as Sebastian leads the way, barking out a frustrated, "Excuse us. Excuse us," to the skaters yet to perform, who have opted to do their off-ice warm-ups smack dab in everyone else's way. Sebastian frowns when he remembers that used to be him once upon a time - constantly showing off, always in other people's space. His coach had told him it was an effective intimidation technique.

It's not.

It's just annoying.

Blaine sighs as they reach the blue metal door, relief in sight.

It turns out to be premature.

"Still under rotating those triples, I see."

Blaine sighs again, but this time it's a sound of utter defeat, and something inside Kurt snaps. He whirls around, putting himself between Blaine and whoever might be behind them, saying, "Don't you have anything nice to say?" before he comes face to face with two older men trying way too hard to appear important in their expensively tailored wool suits, out-of-place with everyone else around them bundled up in jeans, sweaters, and puff jackets. They can't even wear simple cloth masks, opting for those overpriced dome things constructed of 'space-age materials', clear so people can see the entirety of the wearer's face.

From the corner of his eye, Kurt sees Blaine turn slowly, as if he would rather be anywhere but here, which sucks because Blaine had an amazing skate! A skate Nathan Chen would have been proud of! But that's about to be ruined by the presence of these two a-holes!

"Nice about what?" the same man retorts, and even though that sounds like the sort of remark one would expect a coach to make, Kurt just knows that this man - with the same dark hair as Blaine's, glued to his scalp with a tremendous amount of product, sucking in his lower lip as he grins - has to be his dad. "His lackluster choreography? His offensive song choice? This fruity costume? Or those skates?" He pops his lower lip in disgust as he gestures down to the black Edea skates Kurt customized with rainbow crystals. "Jesus, Blaine! Why don't you carry one of those rainbow flags out on the ice with you! Or tattoo one to your face! That way everyone knows!"

"Most people already do!" Blaine argues, surprising his friends. But it delights Sebastian more. Despite his 'dapper charm' that he lays on thick as oatmeal, Sebastian suspected Blaine couldn't be as meek as he seemed around him and Kurt. Looks like he was right. "And guess what? No one seems to have a problem with it! And if they do, they have the courtesy to keep it to themselves!"

"That's because you're a figure skater. You're surrounded by gays, aren't you?" he snarks, shooting a pointed glance at Kurt. Blaine's old coach (Simon, if Kurt remembers correctly - supposedly a huge deal though Kurt has never heard of him), who has yet to say anything, has the dignity to look embarrassed by Mr. Anderson over that remark.

"Has he always been this much of an ass?" Sebastian seethes. "Or is he doing this for our benefit?

Blaine's first instinct is to defend him, even after everything the man has done. He is his father after all. But he stops himself, gives Sebastian's question a solid think. 

And his answer is yes. 

Yes, he has. 

He's always been an ass. To him and, to a lesser extent, his mother. Nothing has ever been good enough for him. Gold medals, sponsorships, scholarships, endorsements - not a single thing that has come from Blaine's skating has his father ever been proud of.

"What you see is what you get," Blaine says diplomatically. Mr. Anderson's thin-lipped grin drops like a lead weight, and Kurt snickers.

"Your edges have improved," Simon puts in haughtily. "Don't know how that happened."

"It's called practice," Kurt says, "dedication... and the perks of finding a better, more supportive coaching team."

Simon's eyes travel from Kurt's face to a smug Sebastian, and the man rolls his eyes. "I'll bet."

"So, is this what you gave your family up for?" Mr. Anderson asks, waving a hand towards Kurt so vehemently he nearly smacks him. "Or are you still waiting in the wings?" 

Blaine's cheeks burn, speechless that his father held on to those words he overheard and is now throwing them in his face, especially since he never told Kurt about the phone call that got him kicked out. Not entirely. And as far as he knew, Sebastian hasn't either, confirmed by the confusion on Kurt's face.

"You're talking to your son," Sebastian growls. "You haven't seen him in over a year, haven't talked to him during a global pandemic even once to find out whether or not he's okay. He just won his second gold medal of the night. But you're stomping over here like you have every right, and all you care about is his sex life?"

Mr. Anderson raises a stern finger. "This doesn't concern you."

"Yes, it does! Because after you pulled your little homophobic stunt and blackened his eye, he started living with me. In my house." Sebastian stops himself from clarifying further when he notices they're attracting attention. He didn't mean to out Blaine's abuse. Sebastian had no right to let that slip. But with the tunnel of red obscuring his vision, he'd started to forget there's anyone else around. He's got to apologize but now isn't the time. "He owes me nothing. Happy to have him. But you? You owe me plenty."

"What?" Mr. Anderson scoffs. "Do you want me to write you a check?"

"No. But a little gratitude, knowing that your son was in good hands this entire time, might be nice."

Mr. Anderson laughs through his nose. It's as unattractive as it sounds. "Never happening. I offered to take him back. He felt he knew better. If Blaine chooses to live in a den of sin, that's his business."

Sebastian shakes his head in disbelief. Blaine's father isn't talking about pre-marital sex. Hell, if Blaine was kicking it with some busty blonde cheerleader this whole time, his dad would probably be ecstatic. 

He's referring to the fact that the three of them are gay.

Some people. 

Well, if he wants to be an epic jackhole, fine. Two can play at that game.

"You know, since you're so concerned with who your son is being intimate with, since that matters so much to you, it might interest you to know that he's not just screwing Kurt here. He's fucking me as well." Sebastian pauses, lets those words sink in, and soaks in the delicious fallout. He doesn't know whose reaction he likes better - the men in front of him scowling like he farted in their masks, or the boys standing beside him, staring at him wide-eyed and growing pale. "Oh yeah," Sebastian continues, fueled by the conflicted awe in Kurt's eyes specifically. "The three-ways are plentiful, in every position."

"You... you little liar!" 

Sebastian shrugs. "I mean, that's what it's all about, right? What do you think's been going on at my house while he's been living there? He's gotta pay the rent somehow."

"You're disgusting!" Mr. Anderson sneers.

"You're one to talk - a middle-aged man whose only concern about his son's welfare is where he sticks his dick! Give this a lot of thought, do ya? Talk about it over dinner and shit?"

Mr. Anderson takes a step forward. Blaine and Kurt take a reflexive step back - social distancing and all. But Sebastian doesn't budge. "You listen here, you... !"

"Is there a problem?" a man dressed in a red, white, and blue windbreaker emblazoned with the name of the rink they're in, asks. They'd been so engrossed in this pissing contest, no one noticed the man cut through the crowd to reach them. Mr. Anderson steps back, aggressively straightening his jacket. Kurt thinks he hears a seam pop, and he flinches on behalf of a thousand-dollar sports coat.

"No," Mr. Anderson answers quickly, annoyed by the interruption. "No problem."

Seeing a way to put an easy end to this, Sebastian speaks up. "Actually, there is. These men aren't coaches or skaters. And they're harassing us. So could you please... ?" 

Mr. Anderson chuckles. "Right. Good luck with that. I have no intention of going anywhere."

The attendant shakes his head. "I'm sorry but... " He turns to Mr. Anderson "... I'm going to have to ask you gentlemen to leave. We need to keep this area clear."

Mr. Anderson's eyelids narrow to slits. "What?"

"We have a capacity limit." The man points to a sign posted nearby. Neither Mr. Anderson nor Simon looks. "Skaters and coaches only. Everyone else has to go back to the bleachers."

"Are you kidding me!?"

"Unless you have a pass... "

Mr. Anderson looks at the three boys. They lift laminated tags attached to lanyards hanging around their necks. Blaine's says 'Skater' in neon green letters, Kurt's says 'Assistant Coach' in bright orange, and Sebastian's says 'Coach' in yellow. Mr. Anderson and Simon have no such lanyards.

Technically, they don't even have tickets to the event. 

Simon used the clout he has left to get them this far. 

"I'll have to call security if you don't leave," the man interjects, reaching for his walkie.

Mr. Anderson sniffs, tries to retain his composure, but he's not a man used to taking no for an answer.

Or being bested by teenagers.

"I'll be seeing you boys again," he says low, like a threat.

"Absolutely!" Sebastian says. "Stop by Westerville Ice-plex anytime so my uncle can serve you that restraining order Blaine should have filed the first time around!"

Mr. Anderson doesn't look the least bit amused when rink staff leads him away, glaring venomously at them over his shoulder as he's escorted to the double doors. The three watch, waiting till he's completely out of sight before they breathe easy again.

"That was fun," Blaine says brightly, trying to make light of this newly tense situation.

"Loads," Kurt agrees. 

"I'm so sorry about that. He had no right to talk to you guys like that. Especially you, Kurt."

Kurt smiles. It gets lost behind his faux Chanel mask, but luckily it reaches his eyes. "You don't need to apologize."

"Look, Blaine," Sebastian starts, "I'm really sorry for bringing up... "

"Don't worry about it," Blaine cuts in. He'd happily forgotten about that. He wants to drop it. "It shouldn't be a secret. That's how people like him get away with doing what he did."

"Still, it was kind of shitty."

"Yeah, but that wasn't your fault."

Sebastian puts a hand on Blaine's shoulder and gives it a squeeze. It's the closest thing to a hug he can offer.

"Come on." Kurt puts his hand over Sebastian's. "Let's go get Blaine's medals and head home, hmm?"

"Sounds like a plan." Blaine turns to Sebastian, disarming mischief in his hazel eyes. "So... about that three-way... "

"You mean you, leftie, and rightie?" Sebastian winds a possessive arm around his boyfriend and ushers him quickly through the crowd towards the medal stand. "Be sure to tell us all about it in the morning."

[xb-squaredx]

Rise of the V-Tuber

As a platform, YouTube has gone through a variety of “eras,” wherein a particular trend catches on and defines the website for some time. In the early days, you had funny cat videos, then Let’s Plays of video games became rather popular, and now we seem to be deeply entrenched into a new era that has exploded in popularity as of late. If you’ve frequented the website at all in the past few months, it is almost inescapable. Cutesy, anime-styled avatars that play games, sing, chat with viewers, or even cook! What does it all mean? Where did they come from? Are they here to stay? Most importantly, how does one crawl out of the rabbit hole once they fall into it? All that and more will be revealed as we delve deep into the wacky, wholesome and sometimes worrying world of V-Tubers. (photo credit YuuGiJoou. Check her out on YouTube, Twitter or Twitch!) 

THE ORIGIN

To begin properly, let’s define the subject. A “V-Tuber” is a “Virtual YouTuber,” someone who streams on YouTube (or any other streaming platform) using a digital avatar as a proxy. The streamer in question typically uses face-tracking software so that the avatar can emote (or at least attempt to emote) to match their own reactions as they provide entertainment for their audience. While it may seem as if V-Tubers are rather new, in doing research on the topic, you’d be surprised how far back things go.

For starters, the concept of a virtual celebrity has been around for a while, with one of the most notable efforts being Hatsune Miku, a Vocaloid voicebank program. Hatsune Miku is every bit as famous and beloved as a flesh-and-blood singer or entertainer despite being nothing but voice synthesizer software. Vocaloid got its start back in 2000, eventually being reworked into a commercial product in 2004, though it wasn’t until the programs started receiving anthropomorphic character designs that it took off, with Hatsune Miku’s own debut in 2007, and the rest is history.

Many will consider “Virtual Idol” Kizuna Ai as the true pioneer of what we call a V-Tuber today, making her debut in 2016, however one could make an argument that Ami Yamato, a 3D-animated vlogging channel debuting in 2013, beat her to the punch. Honorable mention of course goes to Any Malu, a Brazilian animated YouTube vlogger who debuted in 2015 and eventually gained her own show on Cartoon Network Brazil. While Ai may not be the first, she is undoubtedly considered to be the codifier that many later V-Tubers would follow. Ai’s entire shtick was being an AI program that wanted to connect with humans, playing games, singing or interacting with fans. Following her explosive popularity, it was clear that other companies would follow the model established by Ai, with their own spins on it of course.

Nijisanji, established in 2018, proved that this trend could be incredibly profitable, becoming trailblazers in their own right as they established various “branches” of their company in several countries with their own unique performers that could cater to a wider range of viewers. As of this writing, Nijisanji employs over 164 “Virtual Livers,” most of which come from their Japan branch, alongside their Korean, Chinese, Indian and Indonesian branches. Similarly, there is the Hololive corporation, which saw substantial growth throughout 2020 in particular. Established in 2016 originally as Cover Corporation, at first Hololive was the name of an app meant for use in 3D motion capture, though following Nijisanji’s success, Hololive was rebranded as a V-Tuber competitor and also features a variety of colorful characters spread across many different main branches. There is of course the Japanese branch, as well as Hololive Indonesia, the relatively new (and highly successful) Hololive English, a defunct Chinese branch and an all-male Holostar branch in Japan.

Other, smaller V-Tuber groups have sprung up alongside the corporate powerhouses, such as VOMS Project, established in March of 2020, as an independent trio of streamers, and more recently at the tail-end of 2020 with V-Shojo, featuring a group of Western streamers (who ironically mostly stick to Twitch). Outside of this of course are the countless independent streamers who utilize avatars for one reason or another across many different platforms. Even prominent Twitch streamers seem to be getting in on the act, such as Pokimane, though that one has not come without some backlash. So consider that a rough history of how V-Tubers got started in Japan but how did they gain a more global fanbase? Well, in a word…”memes.”

GOING INTERNATIONAL

I won’t deny there had to be at least SOME overseas fans who enjoyed watching V-Tubers before they became more well-known, but for many Western fans their introductions to V-Tubers in general typically came from viral videos taken from various streams that spread like wildfire, eventually getting people curious enough to check them out. For Kizuna Ai, her playthrough of Resident Evil 7 gained notoriety for her mimicking the cursing of the English-speaking player character, and for Hololive, arguably the first real Western breakthrough for the company came from a now infamous moment from Sakura Miko’s stream of Grand Theft Auto 5. 

Also from Hololive, Inugami Korone in particular had a variety of memes spread about her due to playthroughs from various games that even got acknowledged by the developers themselves. Her playthrough of DOOM 2016 resulted in a short-lived Easter egg implanted into DOOM Eternal, and her video on Banjo-Kazooie (and the animated Eekum Bokum fan video that spawned from that) got the attention of Rare, Xbox and even Grant Kirkhope, the composer for the original game.

Honestly, the real unsung heroes of sorts for V-Tuber popularity might just come from foreign fans that would clip and translate various moments from streams that helped to build an international audience. There are dozens of Twitter handles and YouTube channels that specialize in spreading these clips around and if you factor in the YouTube algorithm, once you see one video your feed will be flooded with similar videos. It is no surprise fans call getting into the fandom “falling into the rabbit hole.” When you look at the more popular members of Hololive, often the ones with various viral clips have the higher subscription counts. In the case of Aki Rosenthal, one of the older members, her sub count exploded after a fan translated a section from a then-recent stream in which she talked candidly about her less-than-stellar growth as well as the difficulties of standing out in general. While at one point having the lowest amount of subscribers (well below 200,000), in the months since that video her sub count has more than doubled going past 400,000. Sometimes the talent needs a little push.

Now, within Hololive itself, I think Kiryu Coco is also partially responsible for expanding the fanbase, being one of the few employed talents with the ability to speak English (likely a native speaker), she gained a large international fanbase as she would work to translate what she or other members were talking about on the fly, and later on established an ongoing series where she would directly engage with fans over websites like Reddit and “rate” the various memes they would send in. Coco also pushed for establishing what would become Hololive English, which has proven to be a gigantic success, each member of that branch blowing past more established talent’s subscriber counts, with Gawr Gura becoming the first Hololive V-Tuber to pass one million subscribers and just recently passed the two million mark. So yeah, V-Tubers are a big deal now but…what is about them that makes people want to watch them in the first place?

THE APPEAL

So, right off the bat, if we’re going to ask why someone would want to watch a V-Tuber I think it’s fair to ask that of virtually ANY internet personality. The reason why someone would watch Game Grumps or Pokimane or Jojo Siwa or whoever else is the same reason they’d watch Kizuna Ai or Inugami Korone or Ironmouse: they’re entertaining. I guess that seems like a bit of a cop-out answer, right? There MUST be a reason why V-Tubers have blown up in popularity over the last few years, so are there things that make these particular Internet entertainers stand out from the crowd?

Undoubtedly, the fact that these streamers are playing a character is a deviation from the norm, though the dedication to staying “in character” seems to vary from person to person, and over time many V-Tubers tend to open up and are far more genuine. At any rate, even the best actor out there can’t possibly make up various daily happenings or childhood stories for their characters on the fly, day after day, stream after stream. Still, I’d imagine the decision to use a proxy as opposed to their real self can be liberating, a mask they can wear to speak more freely or a role they can play up for entertainment. For the most part, I think the persona aspect is mostly harmless fun that makes the streamer seem more distinct; ask yourself which is more eye-catching: some normal human playing a game and occasionally cracking a joke, or a one-eyed pirate girl discussing her raunchy past? Or maybe you’d rather watch the grim reaper practice her raps? Even talent that don’t really play up their character much still often have interesting character designs; we have princesses, dragons, devils, robots and more. A little something for everyone!

Speaking a bit more personally, I find it interesting to watch streamers from an entirely different culture and how they interact with fans or engage with games. I find it funny when Inugami Korone or Sakura Miko plays more Western-oriented games like the DOOM series or Grand Theft Auto V respectively. Often times they’re blown away by the culture clash, or they view these games through a different lens since it’s so different from what they’re used to. In particular, those two are just genuine goofballs that are funny all on their own. More chat-focused streams are an interesting view into daily life in Japan, such as the stories Houshou Marine tells, though obviously a given V-Tuber’s viewpoint isn’t a metric you can apply to the whole country, but she’s still interesting to listen to. Takanashi Kiara is also notable for her multilingual skills, which has helped her bridge the gap a bit more between the various Hololive members through her Holotalk segments where she interviews other V-Tubers. Outside of Hololive, Amano Pikamee from VOMS Project is just a bundle of energy that’s fun to watch as she rages in Super Mario 64 or Super Mario Sunshine. Her tea-kettle laugh is also just kinda charming. The V-Shojo group stands out for being super vulgar compared to the more corporate V-Tubers and while I don’t watch them all that much, there’s still some fun chaos to be had. Still though, I think there’s one big elephant in the room that would also help explain V-Tubers catching on at this specific point in time: the pandemic. Streaming is one of the few jobs not really affected by the pandemic, and with people stuck inside, they’re more likely to scroll through YouTube or Twitter and find a funny clip and then…well, you know… It’s one bright spot in an otherwise dark time…but I’d be lying if I said it was all sunshine and rainbows.

THE DARK UNDERBELLY

The overall idea behind V-Tubers, at least in Japan, seems to be an extension of Idol Culture…and uh…if you know anything about Idol Culture in Japan, it is all kinds of scummy. Exploitative, filled to the brim with harmful rules and regulations and largely catering to some vary unsavory “fans,” I’ll make it no mystery that I find it incredibly distasteful. Look no further than what happened to Minegishi Minami from the idol group AKB48. To keep a long story short, the obsession with “purity” and being this idealized Japanese beauty means idols are effectively locked into their work, unable to discuss or in many cases partake in romantic relationships, as that would make them less “desirable” to their audience. This unfortunately does at times extend to V-Tubers.

Take Tokoyami Towa, who was suspended for some time and forced to make an apology video for…having some male voices briefly heard over Discord during an Apex Legend stream. She even lost a lot of subscribers and support from Japanese fans following this, though once learning of this, Western fans flocked to her as a show of support. Hololive has also dealt with a variety of issues coming from Chinese fans; though that’s a particular hornet’s nest I don’t want to delve into here too much. To sum it up, fans can get obsessive and toxic, which can lead to the talent being harassed. It is for this reason, it is generally agreed upon by fans to not delve too deep into the personal lives of the V-Tubers, for fear of being doxxed and the illusion being broken. These kinds of issues certainly bring up some interesting questions regarding how talent should be treated moving forward.

Are these V-Tubers characters or just alternate sides of real people? Where does the fantasy end and reality begin? Ultimately, the lines are somewhat blurred. Talent certainly brings some of their own personality into the performance, but they are forced to remain anonymous and as can be seen in the case of Kizuna Ai, they are not always in control of the character they’ve been given. Kizuna Ai’s initial actress was for a time replaced, and “clones” of the character with different voices and personalities started to spring up, likely as an attempt to compete with the likes of Nijisanji and Hololive. In cases where V-Tubers retire from the industry, or “graduate” as some call it, all of their hard work cultivating a fanbase might end up being for nothing as they were forced behind a proxy that isn’t truly themselves and I imagine it can be hard to start over again from square one. Never mind the attempts to step out of the shadow of your older work. Man, Perfect Blue was downright prophetic at times, huh?

I don’t want to dwell on the negatives too much though. It’s worth noting for one thing that Nijisanji seems relatively lax regarding how their talent operates, whereas it seems Hololive is the standout for adhering to the idol ideal, though considering how some of the talent acts (in particular Kiryu Coco), one has to wonder if they’re softening their stances a bit. Many V-Tubers generally talk about the positive aspects of the industry and being given the opportunity to reach people from all over the world. Shortly after Ina’s debut in Hololive English, she was actually brought to tears when told her art streams convinced people to get into (or back into) the hobby, which had been one of her goals for becoming a V-Tuber in the first place. Ironmouse, now a member of V-Shojo, has an immune system disorder that keeps her bedridden and forced to stay inside, so the opportunities afforded by this particular type of streaming has allowed her to reach out to others and as per her own words, has changed her life for the better. While there are definitely “fans” that go too far, corporate practices that are outdated, or harmful and a slew of potential unfortunate implications, ultimately I think most people out there are just looking for quality entertainment, and these digital proxies give these entertainers an outlet to connect with fans in a way that they might not have otherwise.

CONCLUSION

V-Tubers are in a bit of a boom at the moment, though I can’t imagine it’ll last forever. We’re quickly approaching market saturation and after a point, people can only follow so many streamers at once. Hell, as I was editing this up, it seems as if prominent YouTuber Pewdiepie is about to step into the ring, so who knows what kind of shake-up that could bring. The bubble will undoubtedly burst and what becomes of V-Tubers then is still up in the air. Or who knows, maybe V-Tubers will endure and replace all entertainment and we’re just watching the beginning of a cyberpunk dystopia. Stranger things have happened! Considering the world is still reeling from the effects of the pandemic, that should largely have an impact on the popularity of V-Tubers for some time to come, though as we emerge into a “new normal” in the world, it’ll be interesting to see how these entertainers continue to evolve. Now, I suppose there is one question I never quite went over before now, isn’t there? How does one escape the V-Tuber rabbit hole? Well, I’m sorry to say but there is no escape.

Enjoy your new home!

-B

[ladytemeraire]

Warp 31

Today is my birthday! It's been a very quiet and peaceable one overall; I spent most of the morning snuggling with Sadie while it rained, went on a long walk with her around lunchtime, did some shopping and errands, and made myself a nice dinner to have with wine (a housewarming gift from a friend) and had a decadent slice of cake I picked up with my groceries. Presents and more cake will come this weekend when I travel to visit my family for Thanksgiving, but I still felt I should mark the actual day in some way.

It's very difficult in some ways to be reflective on the past year, because the past year has been so abnormal. The past year has been hard for me; I turned thirty in the middle of a global pandemic (I'm turning thirty-one while it's still going), and while I was used to spending my actual birthday away from my family (we just celebrate together when I go home for Thanksgiving), it was the first year I spent Thanksgiving and Christmas without seeing them in person. But as much as I hate to admit it, that separation was honestly good. It gave me a breather from family drama, let me establish boundaries, and it gave me a chance to start some traditions of my own with friends and chosen family. One of my closest friends had never decorated sugar cookies before; when she came for Christmas with our little bubble of four people, I baked two dozen gluten free sugar cookies and made a stupid amount of icing and she and her boyfriend/my best friend and I had a cookie decorating party at his apartment before exchanging gifts, and it's one of my fondest memories. I made duck breast for Thanksgiving and Cornish hen for Christmas and tried a bunch of other things I would never have considered. (Turns out pretty much every vegetable you hated growing up tastes delicious when roasted at 400 degrees with some olive oil and salt and pepper.)

Even the parts beyond 2020 have still been hard, I am not going to lie or sugarcoat that at all - but the last few months have been a redemption arc coming in clutch. I moved from my shoebox apartment of eight years into my first house, I adopted an absolutely darling GSD mix from a local shelter, I got my knitting and writing mojo back with a vengeance, and I should be up for a promotion at my day job very soon. It finally, finally feels like I'm starting to get somewhere in my life, rather than just being in survival mode, and it's equal parts exhilarating and terrifying . Exhilarating because hell yeah, I'm finally hitting milestones I kind of always thought were pipe dreams, my hard work and planning and preparation is actually starting to pay off; terrifying because shit, I never thought I'd get this far, so what do I do now and where do I go from here?

I guess those are my thoughts: your thirties are not the end of your life. They're when your life is just really kicking off. If you're in your twenties and you feel like you have no idea where your life is going or what the hell you're doing: that's fine. I'd even argue that's normal. You've got plenty of time and good things ahead of you, so hang in there. I can't wait to see what happens next.

[quicksilversquared]

The Wavering Peahen: Chapter 5

When Nathalie started feeling oddly ill again, both she and Gabriel were worried that the Peacock Miraculous might somehow (impossibly) be to blame again.

So naturally, they pick someone else to be the Peacock for a bit. You know, as a test subject. Except the new Peacock… doesn’t exactly know that.

links in the reblog

"Oh my god, you guys, you'll never guess what my mom did for me!" Lila announced as she arrived at the picnic just a little bit on the late side and, other than her phone and a hastily-made Thermos of tea, completely empty-handed. If anyone asked, she would just claim that she had meant to make something, but she had overslept and not been able to start early enough to pull off what she had intended. "It was so sweet of her!"

Heads turned her way, and several of the other girls stepped closer like they were being drawn by a string. Rose was the first to speak up.

"What did she do, Lila?"

"She brought my old phone to a specialist so they could recover some of my old photos off of it- it got destroyed during one of my mission trips to South America and I lost all sorts of data!" Lila practically wilted at the 'memory'. "Thankfully my contacts were backed up in the cloud, but I lost all of my photos! All of those memories, gone! I thought that there was no way to get them back!"

Rose gasped in excitement. "But she got them recovered! That's so great!"

"Some were lost for good- most of them, actually. But I got some back and now they're on my phone and on the cloud, just in case." Lila glanced around. "I don't know if- would anyone like to see them, maybe?"

Rose nodded at once, practically teleporting to Lila's side in her eagerness to see. Alya wasn't far behind, and then Mylène and Nino came behind her. Lila beamed, pulling out her phone and swiping to open up her photos. She had stuck in some landscape photos that she had snagged online to mix it up so that not all of her photos were shots of her and famous people, but obviously the celeb shots were the star of the show.

"Oh, that's Prince Ali!" Rose said happily, half-hanging over Lila's arm to see the phone screen better. "You two definitely look close!"

"Yes, well, we've worked with each other several times," Lila told her. "So of course we're close! I took this picture maybe a year and a half ago? I was at his castle for two weeks while discussing all of the different types of charity work we were doing and ideas for going forward. It was lovely there, really. The beds were so comfortable, and the food was amazing!"

There was a chorus of 'that's so cool!'s and 'you're so lucky!'s. Lila beamed, happy with the attention, and dove into her prepared story, tying in a few of the few of stories that she had told before. More of their classmates gathered around, trying to get a glimpse of her phone. Lila held it up to show the photos off as she went, ever-thoughtful. One story turned into two, then ten, then a dozen as she flipped through the photos. It was a lot- normally she just did one story at a time, peppering them in where they were relevant- but she had been too sick to come up with many stories recently and of course the photos provided a perfect opportunity do a bit of talking.

(Maybe it was a bit too much talking, considering that she was still recovering from her illness and her throat was already sore and she was still feeling a bit faint every so often, but she was on a roll and needed to press her advantage while she had it. These photos were gold, and she needed to milk them for all they were worth.)

"Oh, those shots of you and Ladybug are great!" Alya exclaimed once Lila swiped to the first of the Ladybug pictures. Even though it was just a Ladybug look-alike, Lila had found herself gritting her teeth as she forced herself to cozy up to the sentimonster's side. She hadn't given in to the urge to punch the sentimonster in the face, just as a bit of stress relief, but that had less to do with being nice and more to do with her being worried that she was going to lose control of the sentimonster and have it turn on her. "Those must have been pretty recent, right? Were they on your old phone, too?"

"Ah- no, those were just from yesterday afternoon," Lila fibbed quickly, trying not to cringe. She probably should have held off of putting the Ladybug pictures on her phone- those would always be relevant, she could show them off some other time if she ever hit a lull in attention- but it was too late for that now. Maybe she could get a couple more posters and do another sentimonster session before Hawkmoth took the Miraculous back so that she would have more photo evidence in the future. "She was out on a run and saw me when I was on a walk to try to brainstorm ideas to help the global anti-pollution initiative with Prince Ali. Since we're friends, she decided to drop down and say hi! It was so nice of her."

"She must have been keeping a low profile," Alya commented, leaning in closer. "I didn't get any reports of superhero spottings yesterday, but I know they've been out before without people noticing! Did she help come up with any ideas?"

"No, she wanted to get going again before she got noticed and mobbed," Lila told her. "Which is understandable! She said she would think it over and get back to me if she came up with anything."

Alya nodded. "Yeah, that makes sense. I'm sure she'll come up with something, though! Considering how creative she is with Lucky Charms, I bet that she'll think up something cool."

Lila tried not to let her smile get too strained as she faked her enthusiasm. "Yeah! I mean, if it's anything too out there, it might be hard to get people on board, but some out of the box ideas might just be what the world needs!"

"Would you mind sharing those photos on the Ladyblog?" Alya asked eagerly. "I always love adding good pictures of the superheroes, and those are fantastic."

Trying not to smile too obviously, Lila nodded. "Of course! That's fine." Honestly, the more people who saw it, the better. That way, if Ladybug decided to be a brat again and tried to call Lila out, it would be far easier for Lila to claim that they had had a falling out and Ladybug was being an asshole about it and for that to actually be believed. "I'll send the photos to you right away, actually, before I forget."

Alya grinned, whipping out her phone eagerly. "Great! Lemme just- ah, I should probably think of an actual article or something to go along with the photos, huh? Uh- maybe something about how Ladybug isn't just saving the world from evil, but also from pollution? Obviously I'd say that you're the one doing most of the pollution work," she added hastily to Lila. "Or two superheroines- one saving the world from supervillains, the other saving the world from pollution? I like that better! And then I'll just mention the crossover, her helping you come up with ideas and you helping her behind the scenes with akuma attacks sometimes!"

Lila nodded, attaching the photos to an email and sending it off to Alya. "That sounds good! And if you want any more details, just ask!"

"I will, trust me!"

Ten minutes later, Lila's audience started getting restless, clearly done with story time. She wrapped up quickly, claiming that she didn't want to take up everyone's time and monopolize the attention and promising to show off the remainder of the photos at school. Some people stuck around to ask a few questions, but others wandered off. Lila wasn't bothered. After all, the stories would get around eventually.

Eventually, Lila got to step away to peruse the picnic table. She didn't pick anything up since she still wasn't feeling 100% after her earlier dizzy spell, and getting nauseous and barfing would bring her a sort of attention that she didn't want, but it was a nice break from remembering all of her stories and playing her part.

The food spread looked pretty good- though Lila wrinkled her nose at an array of baked goods that had clearly come from Marinette's family's bakery- and she made a note of a few things that she wanted to try later, when she felt better. With one more glance around, Lila stepped away from the table and back towards the rest of her classmates. As she did, she nearly bumped into Marinette. The other girl's eyes narrowed at her but she didn't say anything, opting to simply walk past Lila instead.

Well. That wouldn't do.

"You missed out on seeing my pictures earlier," Lila said, raising her voice just enough that Marinette wouldn't be able to miss it. "Which is a pity, really. There were some really nice ones that my mom recovered off of my old phone. If you wanted, I could still show you a couple."

Marinette snorted. "So you've taken up Photoshop as a hobby, I take it?" she asked dryly. "And I think I'll pass on looking at the photos. If I wanted to see something that wasn't real, I'd go watch an action hero movie. That would at least be enjoyable."

Lila sniffed. "You're just so certain that they're doctored. Do you know how jealous that makes you sound? It's not a very attractive look on you at all."

"Puh-leeze. There was a photo of me and Jagged Stone on the cover of Metal Lord not even a year ago, and I've got actual selfies of me and Clara Nightingale on my phone from when she was doing her music video. I don't need Photoshop." Marinette rolled her eyes, stepping further away from Lila. "Some of us actually have the connections that you pretend to have. If anyone is jealous, it's you."

With that, she turned and left, heading across the park to join Alya and Nino and Adrien. Alya was still hunched over her phone- no doubt hastily getting a rough draft of her article done- but the others were just chatting and relaxing. The fact that Adrien was still clearly on Marinette's side was really annoying, but soon enough he wouldn't be. Not once Lila took some video of the senti-Marinette being a brat. Because it would take video to persuade him, she knew that. Photos wouldn't be enough, not when he was already suspicious of her. She would probably have to wait a week or so to actually show anyone the video, space things out to make them more believable-

Lila's breath caught in her throat as another dizzy spell washed over her. All of a sudden, she wasn't so positive that it was a good idea to come out today. She had just been recovering from a decently long sickness, and then she got up super early and had been pushing herself all day. Yeah, it had been nice to show off her photos right away, but maybe it would have been smarter to wait until Monday. Lila could have ridden out her dizzy spells at home, both the major ones and the smaller ones that had been plaguing her while she showed off her photos.

...maybe she could just sit down and she would be fine?

"Lila! Over here!" Rose called, almost as though she was reading Lila's mind. She waved and patted the bench next to her. "Max was about to start telling us about the changes he made to his game!"

Lila nearly groaned at the thought. Listening to Max meant listening to stats and graphics and coding nonsense that she really couldn't care less about. She avoided it when she could. But it also meant that she wouldn't have to talk, and if she tuned out and missed something and got asked about it, she could just claim that she had gotten lost on all of the technical details.

So really, it was practically perfect.

"What kinds of changes?" Lila asked, walking over and sitting on the fee bit of bench. "New villains?"

Max nodded, pushing his glasses back up on his nose. "That is some of it, yes. Having an ever-expanding cast of characters keeps it interesting and a challenge for those who have already played a lot and know how to defeat their opponents. There were some complaints that there were then too many rounds between the start and the boss villain, so I now have an option for people to select the number of akumas that they want to battle and which akumas they get is randomized. I also have added difficulty levels, for those wanting to deviate from the standard game. After examining the akuma stats, I have identified some that are more or less challenging than average and so the non-normal difficulty selections have a more limited pool of opponents to choose from. I also added Mayura to the game. I considered putting in Pavona, too, but..."

"She could be the boss villain for easy mode," Rose suggested. "Since she's not as good of a fighter as Hawkmoth!"

Max considered that, nodding absently. "Yes, I could see that. I have different coding for different fight levels already, so I could use the one I developed for the lowest akumas."

"The lowest akumas?" Lila asked, incredulous. "She- surely she's better than the lowest akumas, right? When she was out, she wasn't exactly just getting tossed to the side."

There was a long pause. Lila blinked, looking around.

Surely everyone could admit that Pavona wasn't completely useless on the battlefield, right? They had eyes, even if they were ridiculously biased towards the superheroes. There had been times when Pavona had been more than holding her own.

(Well. Times when she hadn't been failing spectacularly, at least, and mostly because the heroes were outnumbered, but she was choosing to ignore that.)

"I mean, I guess she's a better fighter than that giant baby," Alix offered after a long moment. "Not that that's hard, exactly. But as far as game context goes, it doesn't really make sense for the final boss to be as easy or easier than the akumas that came before it."

Max nodded, jotting that down. "That's a good point! I might make her a slight bit more of a threat than she actually is in real life, just for the game's sake. Though she does have the sentimonster thing going for her- maybe I can keep her fight level the same, but just have a couple different sentimonsters that she'll get paired with. That'll be the bit making the boss battle harder."

"That was a good point about how Pavona shouldn't be easier than the akumas in the game, Lila!" Rose chirped, beaming at her. "That'll definitely help improve the game!"

"Yeah, no problem," Lila managed, hoping that she didn't sound like she was talking through gritted teeth. She steadied herself against the table as her vision blurred out again for a moment, her mind going dizzy with it. "I'm always happy to help!"

"I think the problem that I'm facing then is coding so that Pavona and the sentimonster work together," Max said, tapping his pencil against the spine of his notebook. "And the same for the challenge mode, I think. It would have Hawkmoth and Mayura as the final boss, and they would work together. For that, some of the later levels could have randomized akuma-sentimonster pairings!"

"Ooh, good idea!"

"Nice!"

Lila tuned out as the conversation wandered off into more details of the game, improvements that could be made to the akuma powers to make them more flexible and not so fixed. Max eventually wandered off into a discussion- or a monologue, really, even while checked out Lila couldn't help but note that no one else was contributing much anything to the discussion- about coding specifics, and Lila tried not to sigh.

Boring. Boring, boring, boring.

  Even after sitting and relaxing for nearly half an hour, Lila still had absolutely no appetite. In fact, the mere thought of eating much anything was making her feel a bit ill, which was a bit concerning.

And yet she found herself staring down at a full plate of food in her lap.

To her own credit, she had tried to get out of eating anything, claiming that she had woken up late and eaten breakfast late and therefore didn't have an appetite, and besides her mom hadn't remembered to buy the things she needed to make something to bring and she would feel bad about taking food when she hadn't brought any. But her classmates had insisted that it was fine, that no one blamed her for not being able to bring anything, and that really, couldn't she eat just a little? So Lila had been pretty much forced to relent and load up her plate.

Maybe she could have let on that she had a bit of lingering nausea from her illness, but she had (for once) not wanted any more attention on her. She had been completely in charge of the narrative earlier, keeping the focus and gossip on what she wanted her classmates to pay attention to, and having the talk about her turn from her celebrity connections to her mysterious illness would be not exactly ideal. An illness could push the focus on her proof to the backs of their minds, easily forgotten about given some time, and she was not about to let a little cold do that.

Lila was made of stronger stuff than that, she knew she was. After all, she was a supervillain. Things weren't going to be easy.

But it was still frustrating that the challenge was coming from something as everyday as a stupid cold.

(She should have just left it at I ate breakfast late and so I'm not very hungry and then maybe she could have gotten away with just taking a little fruit and nothing else. The comment about not having brought anything, in retrospect, made the breakfast thing sound like a flimsy excuse for not eating.)

Hopefully she would feel better again soon. It was just so stupid that she had been feeling so great, and then all of a sudden, she was feeling worse than she had before. Sure, she had been able to milk her cold for all it was worth as far as homework went, but much longer and the teachers wouldn't turn a blind eye to that anymore. And sure, she had gotten out of actually doing anything in gym while she was sick, but she could do that just as easily with a claim that her arthritis was acting up or that she had rolled her ankle the previous day.

(There was also the issue of what she could possibly do if someone brought concerns to their teachers and they insisted on calling Lila's mom. She couldn't let that happen, or else all of her hard work would be for nothing.

Maybe she could spread the lie that her mom was already on top of it and taking her in to the doctor's office for a checkup. If the teachers knew that Mrs. Rossi was already aware of Lila's health problem, then perhaps they would be less inclined to reach out as well.)

"Aren't you hungry, Lila?" Rose asked anxiously, and Lila startled out of her thoughts. She had been staring at her plate without eating anything for too long, clearly. "You've just been pushing your food around and not eating anything."

"Ah, well, I did have a late breakfast," Lila managed, doing her best to make her excuses sound confident, even as another wave of dizziness passed over her. Was it just her imagination, or were they getting more frequent? "I must have eaten more than I thought then, so I'm not very hungry yet. I- maybe I'll just set my plate away to eat later. I just couldn't resist taking some food, it all looked so good."

"Oh, okay," Rose agreed after a moment's pause. "It's too bad we don't have a heating lamp or something to keep the food warm and fresh for you! Some of it won't be as good cold."

Lila flashed her a smile. "Thanks for the concern, but I'm sure it will still be good! And if not- well, the next time we have a picnic, I'll be sure to wake up earlier or not eat as much breakfast."

"We'll have to do this again soon, then!"

Lila smiled and nodded. "That sounds fun! It'll be a good way to keep up with everyone over the summer- well, at least if I'm still in the country and not traveling. I don't know what my mom's plans are yet."

Everyone nodded, letting out little murmurs of understanding.

"Hopefully you'll get to go some cool places!" Mylène piped up. "I mean, I hope you'll be around for part of the summer so that you can go on all of the group activities like picnics and pool trips, but I know how important it is for you to get to travel and meet people who can help out with your charities and environmental work and everything!"

Lila forced another smile in the direction where- well, she could mostly see Mylène between the spots that had momentarily taken over her vision. She blinked, and her vision cleared. "Yeah, it would be nice to get to hang out and be a normal kid for a bit, but I also want to see some of my friends from other places in person again! I've been keeping in touch by email and video call, of course, but it's just not the same."

"The downside to traveling," Mylène agreed. "I've made friends while traveling before- average people, not princes and whatnot- but I never end up staying in touch with them for that long once I leave. Our emails just end up tapering off."

Several of the others nodded in agreement. Lila almost did, too- after all, she always let communications with her former classmates taper off and end after a few months after she had to move or switch schools- before she caught herself.

Right. No talking about her real life experiences, or else people would start picking up on the inconsistencies and the ways that Lila's real life didn't line up with the other stories that she had told.

The conversation slowly turned to the kinds of friendships other people had made while on vacation with their families and how long they kept communicating once they had left, and Lila tuned it out in favor of trying to force down a few bites of food. There were a couple things that weren't overly sweet or spicy that didn't make her stomach want to completely turn itself inside out, so Lila nibbled on them while she pretended to listen to her classmates blather on about completely non-impressive people who they had met.

"Lila, if you aren't hungry yet, you don't have to eat," Rose said suddenly, cutting herself off mid-sentence. She glanced over at the picnic table, then perked up. "Hey, the container I brought my salad in is empty! You could just put your food in that and bring it home to eat later if you wanted!"

"That's so kind of you, Rose!" Lila managed. Ugh, forcing herself to eat anything had clearly been a bad choice. She had thought that she would be able to handle a few bites, but she was feeling more nauseous than ever. She didn't want to let that on, though. She wouldn't. She couldn't distract from her own stories and photos by being ill. "That sounds like a great idea. I don't want the food I took to have to go to waste. I-" she cut herself off as her stomach rolled again.

Maybe talking right now wasn't the best idea.

"Let's go get it, then!" Rose chirped, popping up out of her seat. "And you can grab anything you want to eat later from the table, too, while we're doing that. I know no one's going to mind if you take stuff to go!"

Lila pushed herself to her feet to follow Rose, doing her best to act as though everything was normal as she swung her legs over the bench and started walking. Her vision had almost completely fuzzed out as soon as she got up, but she couldn't let that stop her. It would clear up soon enough, after all. It always had before.

She took one step, then another, then a third, forcing them even and casual. On the fourth, Lila felt herself wobble, suddenly both dizzy and weak.

And on the fifth step, everything went black.

[kckv]

The Braavosi smiled

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[mitigatedchaos]

Review: SAC_2045

(~3,700 words, 15 minutes)

This post will contain some minor spoilers for SAC_2045.

Summary: You may have thought SAC_2045 was a poor entry in the Ghost in the Shell franchise - actually, it's just intended for younger audiences.

Previously: Standalone Complex 202045:1-4 (superseded)

-☆☆☆-

And what did you think of the remaining episodes of GitS:SAC_2045?

[ @irradiate-space​ ]

Standalone Complex

There's a certain indescribable feeling associated with Ghost in the Shell: Standalone Complex as a work, an artistic touch related to the director associated with it, independent of other considerations. SAC_2045 has it, which isn't too surprising since Kenji Kamiyama is back.

SAC_2045 is Standalone Complex. For a brief moment, while watching it, I inhabited my pre-2016 personality and outlook. I can't tell you how much that means to me. Since the arrival of streaming I've tended to bingewatch series, but on the first run-through I decided not to bingewatch this one.

If you approach this show as season 4 of Standalone Complex (Solid State Society being season 3), it's underwhelming. Now, viewing it again, it's become obvious that a conventional season 4 of Standalone Complex was never the intent of SAC_2045 to begin with.

For those of you who have delayed until now, the English dub has been uploaded - it released without one due to the pandemic. They bring back a number of the voice actors from the excellent Standalone Complex dub, though having already watched it with subtitles, I didn't feel the need to confirm the dub's quality.

Sustainable War

To properly describe a new theory of war is the same thing as to invent it. While the idea of war as a for-profit industry has been kicked around for some time, it's generally assumed that this is a kind of parasitic relationship on the part of the war-making industry.

As time goes on, warfare becomes more abstract (partly because warfare happens where it can happen), much like society itself is becoming more abstract as information moves more quickly and humanity gains access to more energy.[1] In SAC_2045, "Sustainable War" is part of the context of the world and its current issues, but we aren't really told how it works - if it's similar to contemporary information warfare and a blurring of the lines between state and non-state actors, it's bound to be quite confusing.

I believe my earlier assessment of "Sustainable War" is correct. The key feature of sustainable war, the reason they say it's safe if you leave it to the experts, is likely that it involves AIs constantly forecasting against each other and moving units around with few direct confrontations. The goal would be to lock in a victory without having to fire a shot, except for small skirmishes that don't escalate to major incidents (due to the AI forecasting).

The presence of armed separatist movements even in Japan may also indicate that the ruling institutional bodies are engaged in a kind of Post-International Politics,[2] which treats all international relations as fundamentally existing between subnational entities - however, I believe that later information suggests this wasn't their original intent.

What makes it "sustainable"? Since if done correctly, very little is actually physically destroyed, the cost is less than conventional warfare, and thus the war can continue indefinitely. Why does it threaten humanity with destruction? Because there's an awful lot of military hardware waiting for someone to actually pull the trigger.

Season 1: Ep. 2

So what is the intent of the series' creators? I think they may be telling us through this dialogue between Togusa and Section Chief Daisuke Aramaki in episode 2.

Aramaki: Seems time has toughened you up. Togusa: Is that supposed to be a compliment? Aramaki: It is if you want it to be. Togusa: Then thanks for the kind words. “I made the right decision by choosing this line of work over my marriage.” That’s what you’re saying? Aramaki: Perhaps. [...] Togusa: They're bringing back Section 9? [...] Aramaki: But my takeaway from the proposal is this: The PM's reason for the urgent reforming of Section 9 takes priority over his personal motives. I believe his true objective is meeting the Americans' demands for the dispatch of special resources. Togusa: So it's as the Liberals feared? An American-born Prime Minister would be no more than an American puppet? Aramaki: I've yet to meet him in person, so I can't really say. But this is an opportunity to have the Major and the rest of you undertake a major operation for me once more. Togusa: What sort of op? Aramaki: Over the past few years, I have searched for an answer on how to deal with a society in turmoil. I'd like you people to lay the groundwork that will help the next generation find that answer. Togusa: I don't know what a man in my position can contribute, but I'll humbly offer whatever assistance I can.

Those of us who cried, Kamiyama, tell us the future once more! based on Standalone Complex's prophetic analysis of a memetic crime wave were bound to be disappointed. SAC_2045 is less rooted in the near future than in the now - cyberbullying, endless war amidst historic prosperity, employment suppressed by automation, savings eaten up by the complex machinations of finance, and a breakdown of national borders? That's today.

Those of us who hoped for a Ghost in the Shell: Unicorn, a psychically overpowering work that synthesizes the full body of Ghost in the Shell into a single coherent form to elevate us to a higher level of understanding, should have tempered our expectations. To reach each new philosophical level is more difficult than the last - to achieve that with Ghost in the Shell of all things would have required a multidisciplinary genius near the limits of current understanding.

Kenji Kamiyama is just an anime director. And anyhow, Gundam Unicorn was a book before it was an animated series. And who among us even knew we'd have to write a book before 2015? Ghost in the Shell was well-understood enough, so I instead wrote 25,000 words worth of hypothetical country and became a blogger, like the infamous Scott Alexander.[3]

If we approach SAC_2045 from the lens that it's a humbler work designed for younger audiences, however, some of the creative decisions make more sense.

Purin

Just how old is Purin, the MIT grad who joins the team later on? If I had to guess, that's '23歳' on that profile she provides, and Ishikawa notes that she 'skipped a few grades' on her way to a PhD. But she acts like someone a lot younger. She's enthusiastic and we're assured she's intelligent, but seems to be lacking social training. For example, she makes the mistake of assembling an era-accurate music player for Batou combined with a playlist after consulting the Tachikomas to find out what he listens to. There are two ways to take this.

The first is that she's intended as a relateable character for someone who would make this class of mistake. It's the sort of mistake I might have made at age 13-14, meaning that the show would probably be aimed at someone that age or lower. Overly enthusiastic, doesn't understand romantic relationships, impulsive, poor reading of boundaries / poor modelling of others outside of certain domains, impulsive in a way that causes social screw-ups? Yeah that could certainly apply to an ADHD kid of about that age.

And all of a sudden the tone of the first five episodes with the gun-fighting, the literal Agent Smith, the decision to place the focus in America, and even the mystery of the series being much simpler than Standalone Complex 2nd Gig's plot regarding Asian refugees in Japan make a lot more sense. This is Ghost in the Shell for kids!

Wow, I didn't think that could be done!

...is what I should say, except that around the time I acquired the ability to futurist shitpost, and I used that ability to predict that it would.

Purin II

The second reading is that the youth of the future are fucked up. She probably has some tricked out modifications, both cybernetic and genetic. Now usually you would tell someone to try to become a well-rounded human being. But...

The global economy has crashed. Batou mistakes her for a robot - creatures that look like pretty young women are a dime a dozen. In the dating market, she would be competing with full sensory immersion VR pornography on the one hand, and at the upper end of society where cybernetics are more widely available, likely women with a similar appearance but decades more experience and professional standing.

Note that in the original Standalone Complex, the team take down an 80-year-old Russian spy with the full prosthetic body of a 20-year-old. Full cyborgs aren't common then, nor are they in SAC_2045 (though cyberbrains are ubiquitous), but if the economy recovers that may change, and the sector she's trying to get in to (full-time salaried government rather than marginal private employment it would seem) is going to be very tough to enter either way.

So Purin may have to be over-optimized even to just appear on the screen. In fact, she says,

"Just so I could work at Section 9, I moved most of my sentimental memories to external storage."

Youch! It's no wonder she's socially maladjusted. Just how much of her social learning (in particular key events necessary to rebuild logical inferences on the boundaries of behavior on the fly) has she locked away?

Purin III

But you know who Purin looks like? Notorious internet personality, Gamer Girl Bath Water seller, and IRL video game character Belle Delphine.[4]

Or rather, it's the other way around - 2D animation compresses real detail into suggestive abstraction, letting your mind fill in the rest. Going from those impossible 2D shapes to 3 dimensions creates strange results, like training your machine learning algorithm on the salient features of a cat's face, applying it to human shape, and putting pink hair on the result. Belle Delphine adopts that otherworldly kind of appearance as part of her act.

Technically, this a stylistic choice. Within the framework of SAC_2045, this is what "a 23-year-old female" looks like.

Purin is in fact so non-threatening that her big red coat obscures her figure. I'm gonna go with younger audience. Now if only I could remember what pronoun she uses.[5/☆]

Motoko

With a full prosthetic body, outward signs of human-like aging are almost an artistic expression, much like in a world with cheap tissue engineering, visible scars are a choice.

When she was first introduced in the original Ghost in the Shell manga, we don't know how old Motoko Kusanagi is. It was once said that her name is analogous to "Jane Excalibur," which in English would be an obvious alias. In the first movie (from 1995), she's cool, almost cold and robotic.

In the original Standalone Complex, Motoko has a more mature personality than in the manga, but she has a clearly adult look by the standards of anime. Seriously, check out this fantastic character design (combat suit), although admittedly the better-known "leather jacket and bathing suit" design is more ridiculous, fashion-wise.[6] (Fortunately, she gets pants in her much more stylish second season outfit.)

ARISE starts off with a young Motoko Kusanagi in a chaotic post-war period before the Section 9 we know was assembled. This shows in her character design, but it really shows in her personality. This was actually why I had joked about an even earlier Ghost in the Shell.

There is a sense in which the 2017 live-action movie's Motoko is even younger. Scarlett Johansson is a killer cyborg with amnesia. She doesn't even have one day of formal combat training.

Motoko 2045

Ilya Kuvshinov designed SAC_2045's Motoko Kusanagi.

Yes, that Ilya Kuvshinov. You could be forgiven for thinking this is a teenager that hardboiled assassins Saitou and Ishikawa in the background have been hired to bodyguard.

Despite this, Atsuko Tanaka has resumed her role as Motoko's voice actress. Standalone Complex's Motoko looked 25 and felt mid-30s. SAC_2045's Motoko looks 16 and has the voice and attitude of 40.

This may make more sense than you might think.

Through Whose Eyes?

Throughout much of Ghost in the Shell as a franchise, Togusa, the only non-cyborg on the team, who is pulled from a police department instead of a military background, tends to be character used to help the people of our time relate to the future. He's the guy that doesn't know the things we also don't know, so in explaining concepts to Togusa they're explained to the audience.

In SAC_2045, most of the team are off doing cool cyborg things in America. Aramaki (whose in-world function is to create the bureaucratic environment within which Section 9 operates) tasks Togusa with finding them. The original Standalone Complex first aired in 2003. It's been 17 years since it was created - a similar situation to finding someone that reached adulthood who was born after 9/11. And during this time, Togusa's life has changed - the family man is now separated from his wife. And the world has changed - Togusa is now working for a private security firm. Togusa's role in the first five episodes isn't to guide the new viewers.

His purpose is to guide or stand-in for the old viewers.

The New Viewers

"Do you still hold a grudge against the Major and the others for leaving you behind?"

For the original viewers, SAC_2045 is your world, too. Togusa is there. Togusa is you.

The new viewers are Purin. Enthusiastic and smart but awkward and not confident in their skills. How could they measure up to these much more talented and experienced characters? (Also consider who is going to watch any sort of Ghost in the Shell - it's probably going to be a moderately bright and introverted kid, who is the kind of person that may be more comfortable socializing with people outside of their age band.)

But Motoko is visually separated from the rest of Section 9. Batou, Saitou, Ishikawa, Boma... they all have a much more adult look in keeping with their appearance in previous versions of Ghost in the Shell. What gives?

Batou is sort of a cool adult male figure - this is actually a pretty natural use of the character and his sense of humor as previously established in other Ghost in the Shell properties. We especially see this come through in 「PIE IN THE SKY - First Bank Robbery」 episode, with the old folks and the 21st century bank robbery.

Motoko's difference in appearance is because she's acting as a bridge between the two. The new viewer (as represented by Purin) is supposed to grow into being like Motoko as they gain confidence and experience. (The characters aren't each limited to a single role, of course.)

But SAC_2045 is still a work that's shared between two groups, similar to how the excellent Into the Spiderverse features both the teenage Miles Morales and an older Peter Parker that has lost his way, with the loss of the vibrant young adult Peter Parker being what starts the plot going.

The Last Quarter

With this framework, the rest of the work should express its nature as targeted at a younger audience itself. Watch the last few episodes through this lens and you'll see how much sense it makes. One takes place at a school. Even the bizarre 3D style that resembles recent video games makes more sense. If we take Togusa's earlier conversation with Aramaki as a discussion of SAC_2045 itself, later on there's even a sort of acknowledgement that Ghost in the Shell is a difficult work for someone of a young age.

So with that context in mind, does it work?

Standalone Complex

If I remember correctly, years ago, when I was perhaps 15 or 16, I was watching a tiny CRT television some time after midnight, and I saw the thirteenth episode of the original Standalone Complex - NOT EQUAL. It was like nothing I had ever seen before. I was immediately taken by it. And, from what I remember, I immediately understood it.

It was as though it were made just for me.[7]

To me, Ghost in the Shell is like a textbook. I thought that as a creator who has reached a place where I am able to be involved in that kind of work, I'm in a position where I have to convey its contents to a younger audience. Well, I knew it would be a lot of work, but I figured it would be my way of giving back to Ghost in the Shell. I thought that I needed to accept the baton and offer Ghost in the Shell to a young audience, to the same degree that Ghost in the Shell raised me to be who I am.

- Tow Ubukata, in a 2015 interview, regarding ARISE

For many people, Ghost in the Shell is a profound influence. I felt that it lifted me to a new level of understanding.

SAC_2045

But what about SAC_2045?

I can't view Ghost in the Shell with new eyes. When I first saw it, I wasn't the kind of person that casually memes futuristic ethical dilemmas as a means of practicing politics.

Compared to the anime I watched back when I was 13, would I have watched SAC_2045? Yes. Is it more philosophically and politically sophisticated? Yes. Would I have found it memorable? I think so.

Would a 13-year these days watch it? That's difficult to assess. I bet someone who does data science for Netflix could tell us, if they wanted. I'm sure Kenji Kamiyama and Shinji Aramaki are considering the same thing.

2017

How does it stack up compared to the rest of the franchise?

For most enthusiasts it's going to be one of the weaker entries, though it certainly does a better job explaining itself than ARISE.

Compare it to 2017's live action movie, however, and I think we'll find it isn't the weakest. The reason is that the writers of Ghost in the Shell (2017) decided to tell a story about bodily consent in which becoming a cyborg is a form of trauma. On some level this may have been a reasonable decision, but they didn't commit to the concept sufficiently fully to execute it well enough to carry the movie - and simultaneously, they dumbed down parts of the regular Ghost in the Shell material for American audiences. As a result the movie flopped both financially and artistically - except for the visuals.

In fact, I wrote a sequence of posts (1, 2, 3, 4) on how to rewrite the live action movie as an actual Ghost in the Shell property. I feel no need to do so for SAC_2045 - and I can't even think of what changes would need to be made.

I look forward to the second season.

-☆☆☆-

[1] It's short, but that's a concept in this post. "Advanced by Left-Wing theorists, Ninth Generation warfare sees all acts as existing on a spectrum of political violence. Most acts of ninth generation warfare consist of extreme pranks."

[2] If we accept the idea of "Fifth-Generation Warfare" as motivated by a desire to prevent the enemy from using their conventional military assets, then a corresponding theory of international politics would involve preventing enemy factions within foreign governments from taking control of those governments' institutions - effectively treating all countries as in continuous level of conflict analogous to a soft civil war.

[3] There is a kind of technique to this, but in my case I substituted ADHD for raw IQ and conscientiousness, which is part of why my posts are so much shorter than, for instance, Moldbug's. In any case, technically, Scott's blog posts on the matter amount to roughly a mere 11,600 words, and the book of the black forest amounts to approximately 26,000 words (which I'm told is entertaining reading), but I'm sure if we go looking we can find an additional 15,000 words worth of worldbuilding from a man known for writing 16,000 word blog posts.

[4] Would it be more of a legal liability to sell regular water with GGBW branding, or actual GGBW that could prove to be a potential health hazard?

[5/☆] There's some future strand lurking beneath the surface here that I can't quite put into words; a culturally divergent moe meltdown where an appearance this ridiculous becomes normalized among some sub-population. To quote the Funko Pop Hatred post,

There are questions about the anatomy of anime people and their internal organs, and particularly about what sort of impact-dampening alien meta-material their softer bits are made out of, but at least homo sapiens gokuensis looks like it’s a branch off a similar starting hominid! Whatever transhuman engineering company was responsible for manufacturing the creatures in the typical harem anime has some weird ideas about human beings, but we’re clearly in their ancient lineage somewhere.

Under Late Safetyism, everyone is a declawed catgirl.

Anyhow, I don't want to alarm you, but I can't guarantee that this won't be the future somewhere. Both Purin and Belle Delphine resemble Xiaoice, "The AI Girlfriend Seducing China's Lonely Men." (2020)

[6] Motoko's ridiculous outfits are a major flex on the non-cyborgs, who aren't indifferent to ambient temperature and whose natural bodies may have unflattering features. Similarly wild fashions can exist in places like Second Life, a 3D digital platform with mostly user-uploaded content. Presumably they're also a flex on every Japanese salaryman who still has to dress like a normal guy.

[7] "It's as though it were made just for me" is also how I feel about the original game Mirror's Edge. Its follow-up, Catalyst, is also a personal favorite of mine.