#you and I know that fear only exists for one purpose: to be conquered || kathryn janeway

[servantofthefates]

10 Reasons Why I Love Being a Witch

1) Witchcraft loves me back.

With witchcraft, you get what you give. If you respect a spell’s instructions and perform it with faith, it will work. If you treat your tarot deck with regard, it will give you honest answers. Witchcraft yields results here and now, instead of promising eternal happiness after death.

2) It embraces who I am.

Witchcraft will never censor your truth by asking you to suppress your emotions. Pride, anger, greed, lust, envy… These are what make you human. And they are fuel for rituals. The craft teaches you how to harness and direct them, so you can live up to your potential.

3) It does not care about money.

Whether you use a $30 or a $3 candle will not affect the outcome of your spell. And the number of tarot decks, crystal balls and pendulums you own does not reflect how good a diviner you are. With witchcraft, faith and power are the only currencies that matter.

4) It allows me to avenge myself.

Turning the other cheek may sound nice. But it and self-love cannot co-exist. And in witchcraft, you have to love yourself before the occult allows you command it. The craft lets me practice self-love by giving back malice to anyone who sends it to me.

5) It allows me to help myself.

When your natural gifts are not enough to survive a challenge or accomplish a task, witchcraft lets you call upon the old gods and their minions for assistance. Spells that protect and disarm, heal and harm, grant and transcend are all at your fingertips.

6) It allows me to help others.

Witchcraft requires you to give back. But not through tithes or other taxes like that. Whenever you come across another soul who you think deserves your assistance, you can cast spells for them or perform divination on their behalf.

7) It lets me master myself.

Most people only know their conscious self. As a witch, you will be introduced to your other selves: your higher self and your shadow self. When the three of you have a strong understanding of one another, there is no obstacle you cannot conquer.

8) It lets me glimpse what is hidden.

Through divination, witchcraft allows you to witness things that have not yet come to pass. It also gives you access to the concealed present and the hidden past. This means you can look into people’s souls and see all their hidden motivations.

9) It dissolves my fears.

As a witch, you know that you are always where you are meant to be. Any unexpected, painful or tragic detours are only meant to reroute you to your true purpose. Witchcraft leads you to your true path. It is impossible to get lost.

10) I am the Pope of my religion.

Even though my family taught me the craft, I was given the chance to put that knowledge to the test. Nobody forced me to believe in anything that did not show itself to be true. And whenever I want to talk to my gods, I do not need a middle man. I always have a direct line.

[leovenuslatina]

Dear you 💖

⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙

a love letter from your fs 💝

⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙

psa - this PAC is a little different this is more a channeled message than a tarot reading enjoy!

𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒ ᰔᩚ

* take a deep cleansing breathe

and pick a pile that calls to you *

⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙

⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙

pile 1

𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒ ᰔᩚ

Dear pile one, I am absolutely thrilled to express my utter joy and excitement at the mere thought of being in your presence. It feels like an exhilarating adventure filled with endless possibilities. When I am with you, time seems to stand still as we embark on an enchanting journey of love and inspiration. Your warmth and comfort embrace me like a cozy blanket, providing solace to my weary soul. Every moment spent together is cherished, as we create unforgettable memories and share the deepest of conversations. Your companionship brings out the best version of myself, igniting a flame within that cannot be extinguished. In your delightful company, I find solace, encouragement, and a sense of belonging that surpasses all expectations. Pile one, you are my safe haven where happiness thrives and dreams come alive – and for that, I am eternally grateful.

⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙

pile 2

𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒ ᰔᩚ

Oh "Dear Pile Two, You Complete Me" - how you fill my life with joy and clutter! As I gaze upon your haphazardly stacked papers, misplaced knick-knacks, and random odds and ends, I can't help but feel an inexplicable sense of fulfillment. You are like the missing puzzle piece to my organized chaos. Who needs a meticulously tidy workspace when they can have the delightful chaos of a well-curated pile? From bills that need paying (eventually) to notes scribbled on Post-it's, you hold the irreplaceable treasures of my forgetful mind. Sure, some may scoff at your seemingly disorderly nature, but little do they know the hidden wisdom within your disarray. So here's to you, oh magnificent dear pile two - although your tidiness might be questionable, your charm is unmatched.

⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙

pile 3

𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒ ᰔᩚ

Dear pile 3, it's only you and me against the world. As I stand here, overlooking the vastness of our existence, I can't help but feel the weight of the universe pressing down upon us. It is in this moment that I realize the magnitude of our relationship, for within your embrace lies all that we hold dear. The world may attempt to tear us apart, but we shall prevail. Our bond is forged through the trials and tribulations we have faced together; a stronghold against adversity. As the tempest rages around us, threatening to consume all that we hold sacred, know that I am steadfast by your side. Our unity imbues me with an unwavering strength; no longer alone in this tumultuous journey through life's torrential storms. Together, pile 3, we defy fate and conquer uncertainty as champions of love and resilience.

⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙

pile 4

𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒ ᰔᩚ

Dear Pile 4, you are my perfect person. The mere thought of your existence fills me with an indescribable mix of joy and longing. Every fiber of my being yearns for your touch, for the sound of your voice whispering sweet nothings into my ear. In this chaotic world, you are the anchor that keeps me grounded, the lighthouse that guides me through stormy waters. Your presence brings clarity to my thoughts and purpose to my existence. From the deepest depths of my soul, I believe that we were destined to be together - two halves of a whole seeking solace in each other's arms. Yet, fate continues to test our resolve, placing seemingly insurmountable obstacles in our path. But fear not, for I shall endure any hardship and surmount every challenge to be by your side. For you, dear Pile 4, are worthy of every sacrifice and every drop of blood spilled in this epic battle against destiny itself.

⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙

[evviejo]

STAR TREK: VOYAGER // S2E23 The Thaw You know as well as I do that fear only exists for one purpose. To be conquered.

[bestworstcase]

any thoughts on the branwens (as in, the group, not the twins) like world building tidbits? also, because i’ve seen people bring it up, raven has killed a lot of people (assumably??), so how do you think the show will handle that going forward?

i kind of metronome back and forth with the branwens on how i read them, because – with the disclaimer that it is Not That Deep because the whole bandit tribe exists to service raven's character and to a lesser extent qrow's, i just brought a shovel – i think there's two interesting ways to take them:

the branwens are an ethnic group, probably historically pastoralist nomads. in this case the composition of the camp we see – 100% able-bodied fighters, no children or elderly – would indicate that this is just a war party and the rest of this society is out in the hinterlands with the livestock. mistrali expansion in the pre-war era would have driven them further and further onto marginal land, with the result of them becoming increasingly reliant on raiding to survive.

the branwens represent a grab-bag of disaffected people who Left Mistral because of its various problems (steep class stratification, widespread poverty, rampant organized crime, political corruption, imperial history meaning many people living in mistral now are descended from conquered peoples…) and discovered that like, subsistence farming is hard and turned to banditry instead, in which case the branwens are unlikely to be very cohesive in the absence of a strong leader because there's less of a cultural bond.

#2 strikes me as more in line with the probable intention based on how they're portrayed, but assuming "branwen" is the tribe name (as opposed to them being "the branwen tribe" now because a woman named raven branwen leads them), then i think #1 is more interesting with regard to ozpin admitting qrow and raven to beacon.

if the branwens are an ethnic minority in mistral, ozpin is a lot more likely to have heard of them vs an ad hoc group of bandits. now consider how "the branwens are an ethnic minority (and the encampment we see is a war party, supplementing a pastoral subsistence base by raiding)" alters the context of "aside from grimm, huntsmen were the only ones capable of ruining our raids and hunting us down. our tribe needed a counterforce." and think about the mistrali huntsmen openly extorting passengers for protection money.

right. like, again it's Not That Deep, we're in headcanon territory here, but pulling away from the text in this way adds an interesting dimension to the twins' enrollment – on the one hand it would be discriminatory for ozpin to reject them on the basis of being branwens and on the other, we know that mistral broadly has a serious problem with corrupt and outright criminal huntsmen and the fear of huntsmen "hunting us down" means something very different if the bandits are just the military force of a nomadic society – it's a fear not for the warriors but for the most vulnerable members.

and then you have the twins on this divergent path because their purpose (to protect those of their people who cannot defend themselves) is exactly ozpin's purpose, he just defines the whole world as his people. it's not so much that the twins reject the branwen way of thinking as it is that ozpin challenges them to expand upon it, to think bigger and wider than before.

qrow embraces this and it shifts his perspective on the raiding – he comes to see it as part of the problem, the warriors as killers and thieves; raven likewise embraces it but in her mind, ozpin's ideals are the justification for the raiding. the warriors exist to defend the people, here as at home. what difference does it make if the danger is from grimm or huntsmen or deprivation?

(on its face this may seem contradicted by "the strong live, the weak die," except that raven is also someone preoccupied with "our people," "our family," "we must do what's right for the tribe" and so forth; a strong society is one that can protect its people, even the weak, and the rhetorical idea of heroic guardians sheltering the defenseless populace boils down to "the strong live, and the weak will die without protection by the strong.")

#2 interests me more in terms of how it contributes to the picture the narrative has painted of mistral as this decaying empire that is sort of hemorrhaging population because people. don't want to live there, don't want to have its way of life imposed on them, and we see over and over that the people who feel this way often feel so strongly that they'd genuinely rather leave and take their chances with the grimm.

like, we don't see that in vale – mountain glenn was built under vale's auspices and populated by valean citizens – and we don't see it in atlas – the free towns in arrowfell are clearly older than atlas/mantle. and we don't see it in vacuo, where despite marked cultural differences between desert vacuans and city vacuans both groups firmly consider themselves One People.

i think it's less interesting in regard to the twins than the first option, though. because if the branwens are legitimately just bandits then the absence of children/elderly in the camp would imply that the twins were kept solely to be trained into weapons and the break between them is more straightforward, with their different perspectives reflecting a childhood dynamic where qrow was the whipping boy and raven favored.

whereas if the branwens constitute a whole, functional society – a) any children born into this group must learn some basic self defense as a matter of course, they live in grimm territory, and b) the nature of qrow's semblance, the tribe's fear of him, and his grimm reaper fanboying opens the question of whether it was less "the twins were kept to be molded into living weapons" and more "qrow didn't want to become a warrior, but misfortune kept getting blamed for things like sheep dying or a birth going wrong or grimm hitting the main camp and he wanted so badly to be good for something, and going on raids kept him at a safe distance from home and in a place where he could at least try to inflict misfortune on the enemy instead."

you still have the dynamic of qrow suffering ostracism and maybe even the threat of exile while raven is a natural fit for what she wants to be, and the first stroke of the lifelong pattern qrow has of isolating himself from people he cares for in this specific way. "why couldn't you travel with us?" / "did you know that crows are a sign of bad luck?" – hits different if the defining experience of qrow's childhood was running with war parties because he was too dangerous to be a shepherd. if the thing that really appealed to him most about the legend of the grimm reaper was that she was good enough to protect and defend her people alone.

and then from raven's side you have the maybe not entirely getting why qrow would want to be anything else, and the being glad her brother is with her most of the time, and the being afraid he might leave her behind. i just think it allows for more complexity.

as for raven killing people: i honestly don't think it's going to matter that much beyond maybe raven and yang having a conversation about it – bc i think yang will probably want to know more about why raven picked banditry over being her mom. like.

it happened. raven feeling remorseful isn't going to make it not have happened. she can't bring those people back to life or rebuild those towns or undo what she did. in vacuo, on the other side of the world, there's not really anything she can do meaningfully within the scope of the story to make amends to the people she hurt, either. what matters in the moment is that she's here now, doing what she can to help. the narrative has always cared more about the present and the future than the past, and the stakes are too high for the characters to let "but you did all this awful stuff in the past" become a distraction.

gestures at letting neo go.

gestures at giving emerald a second chance.

and while the context is different and in no way morally equivalent, i'll point out that like. team rwby have killed people too – the white fang militants in v2 for example, and of course adam – they are trained combatants fighting a war. none of them have ever blinked at using lethal force when it is appropriate to do so. and if they can find it in themselves to show grace to emerald, whose reason for participating in the terroristic sack of beacon was more or less just devotion to cinder, then i don't think subsistence raiding is somehow a bridge too far.

not to say that what the branwens do isn't bad but it is of a different scale from terrorism, and raiding for provisions you need to survive is a lot closer to killing enemy combatants in a battle, or to robyn's or sienna's vigilantism, than it is to terrorism. so yeah i think it's ancillary to the personal reconciliation between raven and yang moreso than it is some sort of moral quandary necessitating special handling by the narrative.

[an-indecisive-nerd]

Okay, lore drop two! The Organization! I will admit that this is the section of my lore that I have the least concrete info for, but I'll do my best.

TW for the Organization being shitty basically

It's unclear when or where the Organization was created. The story that has the widest circulation is that it was started when a corrupt ruler/mage/official or something along those lines became obsessed with seizing power. That person somehow took control of their entire world.

But they weren't satisfied.

They discovered a way to travel between worlds, and their conquest spread throughout their universe, and eventually to other universes. They turned their citizens into soldiers, and the Org was born.

Of course, this all would've happened millions if not billions of years ago, and doesn't affect the Org today. Chances are whoever did start the Org is long dead. Even if they had some form of immortality, something was bound to get around it eventually. Still, there are rumours that they are still alive and running the Org today, but who's in charge doesn't really matter to most people with an organization that large.

No matter its origin, the Organization's goal is the same. Take control of everything. And unfortunately, they're winning.

You see, with control of multiple worlds, you gain the best technology, the best magic, the best weapons, the best resources, and the best people from all of them. Nowadays the Org is in control of hundreds of thousands of worlds. Obviously, this is not good.

Many many worlds have learned to fear the pristine white uniforms of the Organization, and even more so their terrifying Godeaters.

The Godeaters are some of the Organization's most powerful operatives, and the first sent to worlds the Org wants to conquer. Their job? To destroy, capture, or force the gods of that world into submission. To be a Godeater is to have your name known far and wide as one of the most horrible villains in existence.

They’re known as Godeaters because of their tradition to eat the heart of the gods they kill, to increase the chances of being able to absorb the god's power. Absorbing the power of a god is a sensation that can quickly become addictive, causing the Godeaters to actively seek out more victims. The regular soldiers tell horror stories of Godeaters practically going feral after being told they're going on a mission.

Only a select few in the Organization know the realities of being a Godeater. The vast majority of Godeaters do not walk free. When they aren't on missions, they are kept in stark white rooms that might as well be cages, bound in chains, and forced to wear power suppressing collars. They’re treated like rabid animals, and many are so far gone that that is all they are. Godeaters that are somehow still sane are paid extremely well though, so at least there's that.

Being a regular Org soldier isn't a very good deal either. The Org gains recruits through promises of power, riches, immortality, glory, and fame. The new recruit is then taken into the lab, where they have a tracking chip embedded in them and are injected with a chemical cocktail that serves a number of purposes, including, but not limited to; performance enhancement, making it easier for the recruit to be controlled, numbing emotions, and making the recruit more compatible with Org tech, magic, etc. DNA samples are also taken for various experiments and cloning and fun stuff like that. Oh and you're not told they're going to do any of this when you sign up and you don't get to back out.

After all that, they hook you up to a machine called a soul cage. This rips off a small piece of your soul and traps it, making it so that if you die, your soul can't go to the afterlife. This means they can easily revive you and continue using you as a soldier for all of eternity. Fun times!

Now then, let's say you fucked up, or the Org has no use for you anymore. Then they put you in a machine that'll completely destroy your soul. No afterlife. No reincarnation. No nothing. You just cease to exist. This even works on gods.

Doesn't the Organization just seem like the best place to work? This isn't even touching on some of the worse stuff they do, I want to save some of the horrors for the book that's actually about them. Oh, and by the way, if you join the Org, you can't leave. If you try, they will make your life a living hell and you will die painfully, if you’re lucky enough that they let you die.

So that's the Organization! I also mentioned the Resistance (I think I might have accidentally said rebellion but I meant Resistance), so I'll talk about them a bit too.

The Resistance was a group created to oppose the Organization. The few people brave enough to stand up and oppose the Org banding together across the universes to try and restore order.

The Resistance didn't have nearly the resources or power that the Org had, but they refused to give up. They created a dimension between the universes called the Hub where they could meet, train, and strategize. Eventually they were ready to face the Organization in a final battle.

And they lost.

The Organization completely wiped out the Resistance. The leaders of the Resistance used their dying breaths to give the Hub a sort of mind of its own. Now it randomly pulls in those it thinks will be able to pick up the fight where the Resistance left off and finally defeat the Org.

@thelovelymachinery @unforgettable-sensations @littleladymab @megamijadeheart @my-bright-legacy

@ominous-feychild @thecomfywriter @wyked-ao3 @anamelessfacelessnerd @differentnighttale

@mysticstarlightduck @the-letterbox-archives @leahnardo-da-veggie @paeliae-occasionally @tr4sh-p4nd4-404

@lovey-dovey-wovey @sidon0isnt0here @damonk13

[morganalefae]

s3 morgana being "beyond redemption" is soooooo crazy to me like yeah trying to kill the evil tyrant king whos been murdering every last one of your kind is sooooo evil lock her up and throw away the key!!

such a prime example of a kick the dog character too. like they cant condemn her for just fighting for her right to exist so they have her executing civilians and trying to have gwen executed to make her into the villian.

and! the same goes for morgause! literally what did she ever do wrong? uther conquered camelot (said by him in the episode where gili fights in the tournament) and then executed hundreds if not thousands of people with magic but morgause trying to kill the king is a step too far? why? its almost like the show is actually on uthers side 🤨🤨🤨🤨

which leads me to: the fact that we essentially watch the entire show through the pendragon perspective. merlin protects arthur so everything we learn about the purge and magic and the old religion is from uther/gaius. so, biased, to say the least. one of the most important things they tell you when researching history is to consider where your information is coming from and how that persons perspective influences their discussion of it.

which is why i also dont consider nimueh to be a villain. shes an activist! yeah she tried to kill arthur that one (?) time but he didnt even die so. doesnt count <3 but we SEE her having a conversation ALONE with uther where she says she didnt know what would happen to ygraine and i just cant imagine why she would lie. if she really wanted to hurt him she could have said she'd known and killed her on purpose but i dont think thats the case at all. she says she never would have helped him if she'd known what would happen. like, surprise, if you hunt and kill people for the crime of existing they will fight back and its not going to be the way you like it and innocent people will die. because thats war. you ruthlessly slaughter her people and she will slaughter yours.

worlds most unstructered post. professors hate her. anyway the show eventually starts to take on a very firm, "merlin has magic but ues not LIKE those other magic users therefore hes ok :) everyone else is evil tho. except the druids (sometimes :|)", whereby merlin using magic is only allowed if hes helping or saving arthur (except all those other times but we dont talk about those i guess) and his stance on magic eventually warps until hes just kind of horrible about it.

100% unpopular opinion but gaius should have died in s2 or 3. he influenced merlin far too much and basically never for the better. sorry to gaius lovers but i do NOT like that old man. he advises merlin EVERY time to not tell morgana about her magic (which she has no control over and therefore is manifesting in ways that will absolutely get her caught), to never help any of the unfairly persecuted people of the episode or even to use magic at all. hes a bootlicking coward who only helped people he cared for or when it suited him. how many people do you think he watched burn simply because he didnt agree with the way they used magic, whether it actually "evil" or not.

merlin's only friends who know about his magic are an old conservative man and a guy who dies right when merlin could have used the support of someone to help him "come out" to arthur about his magic.

im firmly of the opinion that had he told morgana about his magic everything would have been literally fine. because alone and with loterally no support system at all, is it any wonder that morgana would go down the road she did? after years of fear and watching people just like her be burned for the crime of existing, with no prophecy or friends to tell her that it wont always be this way. you dont have to be afraid because youre not the only one and i wont let anything happen to you. oh wait. she did get told that. by MORGAUSE. not about the prophecy but how can they be judged by trying to bring about change by themselves. by trying to kill a king whos killed so many of their own people.

if the intention of the show had been to give a poignant message about the cycle of abuse (morgana succumbing to bitterness and hatred just like uther) or how fear can control you (merlin eventually becoming essentially the bad guy, judging everybody who doesnt use magic the way he sees fit, staying silent and contributing to persecution of magic people because living in fear can make you paranoid and bitter (sound familiar?)) then i would applaud because wow did that make me fucking cry! and hit actually very close to home! and it was tragic and horrible but also inevitable

but as far as i can tell that was not at all the point, because in the end kilgharrah tells merlin the prophecy has been fulfilled, albion is united and magic returned! hurrah! but. um. did i miss something? when did that happen? oh, you mean when gwen is queen....? so.... gwen unites the land of albion and returns magic to the land? except, merlin seems to have lived on until the 21st century of our world and magic is not what i would call flourishing atm.

so i guess my question is... well actually i dont have a question. actually wait i do. what the fuck?

[missheavenfield1215]

Ok but- Hear me Out, Fakiru fans!!

For years, I've been reading so many Fakiru fanfictions that I'm surprised I didn't realize this, until about three days ago...

I was cleaning my house while my music was playing and that's when I found my sketchbooks from 5 years ago... And I was really surprised that every song that was played had some relation to my drawings...

So here I will leave you the songs that I feel fit the most with the Fakir x Ahiru couple.

This song talks about a war and the singer mentions that when he thinks he is fighting the war alone, he remembers her with him on the front lines of battle. He also says that as hope fades, he now only needs her name to know the reasons why he is fighting.

If you ask me, it sounds exactly like the plot of the first part of the series.

If I can let the memory heal

I will remember you with me on that field

When I thought that I fought this war alone

You were there by my side on the frontline

When I thought that I fought without a cause

You gave me a reason to try

Turn the page I need to see something new

For now my innocence is torn

We cannot linger on this stunted view

Like rabid dogs of war

I will let the memory heal

I will remember you with me on that field

When I thought that I fought this war alone

You were there by my side on the frontline

And we fought to believe the impossible

When I thought that I fought this war alone

We were one with our destinies entwined

When I thought that I fought without a cause

You gave me the reason why...

This song gives me so many Fakir vibes... He needs the love of the person he loves to keep fighting his fatal destiny. He's completely used to putting his own needs aside to protect Mytho and Ahiru, so deep down he must think that he just needs to be by her side so that his motivation doesn't disappear.

The here and now will bow to him to only serve one purpose

To keep your peace

He takes on the world all in a stride

And your wounds will be his scars

So won't you remember when the night comes

He will need your open arms

For to be invincible

He needs your love

I truly believe that if Fakir wanted to confess his love, it would be with this song.

The writing is beautiful without falling into the explicit and far-fetched... The song is cryptic enough to let Ahiru know what he wants to tell her without feeling so ashamed of his desperate feelings.

Chills come racing down my spine

Like a storm on my skin, with shaking hands

I'll guide your sweet soul into mine

Until I feel you within and I know

I know that it's all about understanding

Am I hidden inside your beautiful soul as it's crying for love

To conquer the day slowly dawning

I want you to know you're the heart of my temple of thought

So when you're restless I will calm the ocean for you

In your sorrow I will dry your tears

When you need me I will be the love beside you

I'll take away all your fears

I'll take away all of your fears

So you can let go all your fears

These songs have inspired me for years when writing my fanfiction Fakir x Ahiru, I would be very happy if more people knew about the existence of these songs so I could get some inspiration...

And I'm going to put here a drawing of me while listening to Temple Of Thought

The Loyal Knight and the Princess of his Dreams

[kel-of-ulthar]

Death is dressed in colors blessed, a mystery I confess I cannot see

tw: grief, chronic illness, hallucinogens,

It's been a long time since I've been here. I admit that returning to tumblr at 32 (I left it at maybe 22) is a strange and somewhat alienating experience. I spent so very much time here, once, and poured energy into the content I created and the people who read it. Some people I thought were true friends--I don't speak to one of them anymore, not one.

So things have changed for me, since then. I left as I was beginning to experiment with hallucinogens. They cured my PTSD from a car crash that totaled my old Ford Focus station wagon and left me with dreams of people crushed by the nose of the Subaru that hit me. LSD removed the darkness from my heart, for a time. A primordial god raised himself out of the waters of the void, stripped me of my fears and consumed them. I know that can happen, but I don't know that the god would do me a favor a second time, and my fears have returned.

Since I've been here last, really been here with intention and purpose, I lost my father. He died in the spring, of a lung disease that was neither preventable nor curable. It inexorably turned his lungs into stone. Twenty-seven years after he had quit smoking, even put away his marijuana pipes, he died of a disease that can't even be conclusively linked to tobacco. Maybe it was, or maybe recurrent pneumonia scarred his lungs, or maybe a perfidious mycelium infected his alveoli, or maybe he was just pure unlucky. He died in April, when his lungs were no longer capable of oxygenating his smooth muscle, and his heart stopped.

He said to my Mom, who sat with her arms around him, "Oh God, I'm going now."

I think about that all the time.

Grief is a room you come to inhabit, when the right kind of loss strikes you. In my case, I had been only adjacent to loss for most of my life. My uncle and my great-aunt I knew poorly. My grandparents were so elderly that death came with a somber sort of sweetness, bitter only because they lived just slightly too long, and were made to hold out beyond what would have been kind. A friend of a friend at eighteen, another at twenty-three. The first, a teenager I didn't know well enough to weep for, the second a thirty-eight year old who was too young by far, but who was not close enough to have the weight of real love.

When you have real love and you lose it, it is a physical problem. I had heart palpitations. I cried with the change of the wind. I felt crushed under the weight of the loss and the weight of the knowledge of what happens after death. Before I left this place, I was thick as thieves with a lot of people who called themselves worshippers of death. I thought I understood it. I didn't.

It's been six months since I lost my dad. In those six months I have scraped the bottom of the barrel of despair, things I haven't felt or grappled with in a decade, things I thought I had conquered, or at least laid aside. But I face it daily now, the weight of the sorrow. And I'm coming to realize that the sorrow will sit now like a paperweight before me. It is something I can lift and rearrange, but ultimately it remains. Maybe I'm not brave enough to cast it aside? Like a cherished gift of someone I cannot speak to anymore, but one which is not physically useful to me. I can't throw it away, it would be like throwing away that person and the memories we shared. In some ways, I think that it is occasionally easier to exist in sorrow than it is to face the absence of it.

Once upon a time, a Mormon pastor told me and the rest of the mourners at a funeral that grief was a gift from God. At the time, I was disgusted. I looked at my friend of a friend, a jack Mormon who would have hated to see himself, dressed like a pioneer, with a white bonnet on his brow until the contents of his coffin turned to dust. I thought--I don't know him at all, but I know that he would hate to be dressed like this. I thought, how can you stand there and tell me that this pain and kindness and goodness exist in the same realm? How can they even exist at the same time?

But that pastor, deacon, whatever they call them in that cult, he was right. He doesn't have to see the full face or intention of God or Gods to be right about grief. Grief is a gift. Grief only exists in the proximity of love. If I did not love my father, it would not hurt like this. It might hurt differently, but it would not pierce me so deeply, like an ice pick driving a hole into the fabric of my soul. Grief is a gift, because grief is really just the memory of love. It is a nostalgia deeper than that for beloved childhood memories, the lost places of your youth or the fleeting touch of old dreams. It is, at its heart, the void left behind when true love departs. And it's impossible to know how that feels until it has happened to you. Two people who have suffered such a loss can see each other from across a room. Someone who has only lost tangentially, lost people who did not impact them or who they did not truly love, they can only know what this is like in conceptual way. So we, all of us, everyone who has suffered a loss that shook them, we live in this room called grief. We can come and go, we are not eternally tethered ever to it, but we can never leave it entirely. Not forever.

We looked at his pictures today, photos he had taken in the years leading to his death, all the many MANY memes he had saved. It was strange how sitting there, remembering, made it seem like he was not so far gone. Then, when I gathered my things and I got in the car to drive twenty miles back home, I could feel again that he was gone. Like air had swept back into a vacuum, there was a suddenness to the feeling that hurt my heart, made it hard to breathe.

Halfway home, the odometer rolled over to his lucky number.

[goatofgehenna]

(FFIX) Necron made sense as a final boss and here's why...

I would like to break down this argument by addressing his lines of dialogue in the original script (Japanese) because it's a better representation of who exactly Necron was and why he was there.

Necron only gained the name Necron in English. His japanese name is 永遠の闇 (Eternal Darkness) or 'The Darkness of Eternity.' I implore you to observe Necron as existential dread and death itself embodied in physical form.

The script (paraphrased to make more sense in English):

"Fear is in the hearts of all living things, from the moment they are given life; there is no exception. Life itself is a cruel thing... each abolishing the other in the struggle to survive. That which lives is constantly burdened by the anxiety and suffering caused by the fear that someday it will die. Upon realizing death is inescapable and cannot be overcome this fear is awakened... The greater the fear of death is, the more one will say he does not want to succumb to it. To be spared the enormous fear of death all life must cease to exist. Kuja gave into this fear and came to the conclusion that he could be saved by destroying the Crystal, the origin of everything."

Kuja was also afraid of death but more specifically, he was afraid of his life being meaningless, of not having control over his destiny and of the kind of life he lived.... before he ever knew about his shortened life span, this is why he sought to defy Garland so strongly.

Vivi, upon learning he was an artificial being made for war, started to question his own fate and consciousness. Throughout the game, he comes to the conclusion that it doesn't matter if he gets all the answers he wants - what matters is the choices he makes with the time he has. Vivi carved the life for himself that he wanted to live instead of succumbing to the dread of his shortened life span or his violent purpose for creation.

Zidane also learns he was an artificially created being made for destruction - at first this realization causes him to spiral as he thinks everything he knew about his life was a lie and that he has no control over his fate, that it was only by lucky chance he didn't come to kill everyone he now calls friends. His friends remind him that he is not defined by the purpose of his creation but rather the choices he makes and that he is in control of that.

I could go on.. almost every character in FFIX has this sort of theme (Garnet, Steiner, Freya, Beatrix, Kuja, the Black Mages, Mikoto even makes a speech about it after Kuja dies, etc.): Questioning the meaning of their existence, if the choices they made were right or wrong, if they are created for the wrong reasons or bound to a destiny that was handed to them OR if they have the ability to change and carve a new path for themselves.. if they are in control of their fate.

I say all of this to say, it is very important that all of the cast conquer their fear of death in order to live life without dreading the end of existence or what may or may not come after it. In defeating Necron they are saying: "We know that by choosing life we will not be spared it's hardships and that for all of us, death is inevitable, but the joy of experiencing being alive is a price we are willing to pay."

Necron states that he cannot actually be defeated when you finish fighting him because he is more of a metaphor for a feeling, for a reality of existing.

He was originally going to be represented as 'Hades' - god of the underworld - who is not actually a wicked force but a neutral force - one that anyone can greet with fear or acceptance.

Vivi, by his letter in the end, made peace with this reality and showed deeper understanding that some symbolic version of himself would live on in the lives of those he knew and the stories he told (memories).. this is how he kept Zidane's spirit alive despite never getting to see Zidane again in the flesh before (Vivi) passed.

Kuja, after witnessing the party defeat Necron and Kuja used the last of his remaining magic to teleport them to safety.

This line from Mikoto (talking for the Genomes) is a little tricky to translate to English. The real meaning of it from the original Japanese script is this message:

"Kuja.. what you did was wrong.. but you gave us all one thing.. hope. We were created for the wrong reason, but you alone defied our fate. We do not want to forget this. We want your memory to live on forever... for we want to believe that our existence has meaning."

What she's saying is: despite the fact that we were created for the wrong reason (to take over one planet and eradicate an existing people there) you alone challenged the idea that you had to live by someone else's design (Kuja wasn't following Garland's orders, he only wanted to appear that way to double cross him, but in reality he wanted to be the ruler of Terra and Gaia, not it's destroyer). Kuja was also told that he was 'a failed AoD' and Zidane made as a replacement which rendered his life meaningless initially - Kuja also defied this. He lived as an individual through and through. Kuja's memory reminds the Genomes (And the Black Mages) that they can choose their own meaning in life by the way they live and think despite any 'destiny' that might have been handed to them by their creation itself.

SO YES - Necron is the correct final boss.

And his foreshadowing is literally one of the largest themes of the game.

[ascendingaeons]

From Chaos With Love

“Chaos is what we've lost touch with. This is why it is given a bad name. It is feared by the dominant archetype of our world, which is Ego, which clenches because its existence is defined in terms of control.”

- Terence McKenna

It is said of every age that none having stood before have experienced such chaos and uncertainty. I would argue that chaos and uncertainty fulfill a purpose unparalleled by any other forces: the transmigration of Love. For every moment in your life that seems to have gone awry, can it not be said that each has allowed you to transcend your limitations, expand your horizons, and reconnect with the core of your being? For every pitfall and loss, have your eyes not opened to a piece of yourself that you wouldn’t have known was there? Every cry of “eureka!” and every act of compassion and grace are borne of uncertainty and chaos. I would argue that it was always so.

In the time before creation, matter and energy existed in a degenerate state. Even consciousness, the emanation of Self, roiled in timeless stagnation. This degenerate state was known as the primordial chaos and the primeval, cosmic, or celestial ocean. In scientific terms, this means that before its expansion, all matter, energy, and consciousness existed in a single dense nucleus. This “atome primitif” or primordial atom, although being the sum composite of the created universe, was no larger than 1/70,000 of a light year. That is roughly the distance between Earth and its Sun. In this primeval state, atoms were compressed so densely that their electrons escaped their orbits and swam freely through the nucleus.

In mythos and religion, this has been expressed within the chaoskampf, a word meaning “struggle against chaos,” the key word being struggle. What comes to mind when you think of that word? I think of binding, resistance, anxiety, obstacles, and fear. What do all of those have in common? The Shadow archetype of the unconscious mind. What we call shadow work is the conscious pursuit of healing and growth by consolidating the repressed, unmanifest aspects of the psyche into the greater whole by accepting and loving these dissonant facets of the Self.

You could argue that this view doesn’t make me a very good Kemetic, to which I would say that I offer a distinction between Nun and Apep. Nun is the primordial ocean, an ageless force of creation knowing ma’at but preceding isfet. He is manifest in the microcosm as the collective unconscious. Apep is the unrestrained, unmitigated aspect of chaos dwelling in the waters of both Nun and the Duat. I consider Apep as a counterpart to Set in that Apep is what Set could be had He not conquered Himself.

I often say that there exists a balance in all things. It is a sentiment that predates the written word. Older still is the greatest force in the created universe, what I call the First Energy. That, my friends, is Love. Fear came into being as a counterbalance, as a way for Love to Know Itself and to bring about the gravity of relationship. This is known as the primordial scission; One (Unity), in becoming Two (Duality), so becomes Three (Reconciliation).

What does this mean in human terms? I would argue that, as individuals and collectives, we are essentially whole. It is our perception, the propagation of what we allow and what we deny which determines our reality. When someone takes the initiative to heal and integrate their personal chaos they contribute to the healing of the greater whole. I can guarantee you that such transformations by no means go unnoticed. I would conclude this with a personal revelation that is by no means unique. One need not work to change the world, but only oneself.

[go-bac]

Dear Fellows,

Today was our first GO Gather Wednesday. We struggled with Zoom links, we texted reminders frantically, we shared project updates about how things were going in Lawrence with Elevated Thought and all the things. 

For me today was about so much more than that. It feels like our conversation is exponentially growing. It feels life giving. Thanks to our brilliant GO Guide, Aisha Densmore-Bey, we read James Baldwin’s beautiful words today.... I type them here with a full heart and a tumbling bumbling spirit on my insides moving with gratitude, hope, and love... 

“But the conquest of the physical world is not man’s only duty. He is also enjoined to conquer the great wilderness of himself. The precise role of the artist, then, is to illuminate that darkness, blaze roads through that vast forest, so that we will not, in all our doing, lose sight of its purpose, which is, after all, to make the world a more human dwelling place.”    --James Baldwin 

Dear Fellows, I want to thank you. Thank you for seeking out this work. Thank you for giving your time, energies, comforts, talents, hopes, vulnerabilities. Thank you for joining us as we find our way to a future that is yet to exist in the world but needs all of us more than we know. And so, we GO.

We GO ON. We move slow. We try. We face our fears and do not let in to the lie that we aren’t good enough. We are enough. 

We are artists. We are stewards. We have a responsibility to society that we cannot ignore. And so we act. We GO.

Today, we go here (Roxbury, Boston), we go there (Lawrence, MA), and we go anywhere (online metaverse xspace). 

Most importantly though, we go together. We go together in all our difference. In all our unknowingness. Together we go. 

Back to Baldwin, “Society must accept some things as real; but he [the artist] must always know that visible reality hides a deeper one, and that all our action and achievement rest on things unseen. A society must assume that it is stable, but the artist must know, and he must let us know, that there is nothing stable under heaven.” Amen.

Yours, BLG (22 Feb 2023, 6:32pm, from GO Back Bay)  

[fiansethecrow]

Don't know how bottomless would I be to loose your scent,your face your everything and if life without you is even possible guess it'll be one less soul for me inside,even to the stars and heights of any mercy couldn't save me from my sanity,cause my life isn't and won't be worth living anymore, cherish these times because the moments are always surreal I find myself guessing am I dreaming cause some part of the old me died and now and you I am new, can't place my life with no one else cause it'll just be non fulfilling for any means to take your goddess place, don't want to go there with any ill thought pressed upon me by any means cause life without you is truly scary and in that I find my ultimate fear, losing any part of your essence could ultimately deaden me all together,have to keep these in mind just to be grateful that your here and near me baby,found my substance in you and in your essence I found my truth in realities that I never knew even existed,what is more for me to worry about is your disapproval or disappointment,can't feel that,only feeling you happy and satisfaction is my need to please you,I love you, I swear on this that I'm going to be looking for your abundances and peace within making this world how you envision it even if it takes me a thousand years to keep wanting your place,wanting more of you never gets me old nor tired me down only gives rives to hope and grace for the soul divided energy your bring me baby,want to give you the comfort that life can bring through me as your man,not just a boy wanting more for himself,but more for you to be happy,and in these ways I find the temple of these gates were im standing reflecting like this on how much you mean to me,show me something that I know I'll never get anymore I love your taste in life and the fortitude it brings us for these moments were I can say your wise in your understanding cause they take there places from experiences and no lack of concern only controlling the wheel of life in a timely way, intelligent In your ways you speak and plan the days gets me ready to trust you even if I'm not being it totally in my open ways, I'm learning to trust in your insight and looking back no further still not taking me to a place of lacking with you just to let me know that you're real,I'm addicted to you and my feeling are never too hard to get into if you can conquer this time you can cancel all doubt,it just not the things you do but the way you do them,can I make this more plain in sight for you to see that you complete a nigga,and this is ever new to me making me happy and silly but that's me taking care of the presence of what you do to me in life,may health lie with us long cause now I don't need to die early or plan for just the norms in life but planning in us for what it can bring to us cause this is the now in our open spaces to control our life design and purpose,I think about you even when I'm with you always watching any subtle shallow moment that you could produce either in your attitude or your speech coming back that nothing ever shift my reality from loving you even more,a strong woman that can pull my tail when in tucking my way of complacency and total regret of what I have not done or complete,cause these times are more brand new to me and that past of me is dead cause I no longer uphold them morals nor boundaries but building them up again with you is a happy place for a foundation build on loyalty and trust and I'm learning to love that all for what I truly am,You complete me,your strength grants me,your smile fulfills me,your blessing builds me and your body takes me away.

[meams4u]

George Orwell letter to Noel Willmett in 1944

I must say I believe, or fear, that taking the world as a whole these things are on the increase. Hitler, no doubt, will soon disappear, but only at the expense of strengthening (a) Stalin, (b) the Anglo-American millionaires and © all sorts of petty fuhrers of the type of de Gaulle. All the national movements everywhere, even those that originate in resistance to German domination, seem to take non-democratic forms, to group themselves round some superhuman fuhrer (Hitler, Stalin, Salazar, Franco, Gandhi, De Valera are all varying examples) and to adopt the theory that the end justifies the means. Everywhere the world movement seems to be in the direction of centralised economies which can be made to ‘work’ in an economic sense but which are not democratically organised and which tend to establish a caste system. With this go the horrors of emotional nationalism and a tendency to disbelieve in the existence of objective truth because all the facts have to fit in with the words and prophecies of some infallible fuhrer. Already history has in a sense ceased to exist, ie. there is no such thing as a history of our own times which could be universally accepted, and the exact sciences are endangered as soon as military necessity ceases to keep people up to the mark. Hitler can say that the Jews started the war, and if he survives that will become official history. He can’t say that two and two are five, because for the purposes of, say, ballistics they have to make four. But if the sort of world that I am afraid of arrives, a world of two or three great superstates which are unable to conquer one another, two and two could become five if the fuhrer wished it. That, so far as I can see, is the direction in which we are actually moving, though, of course, the process is reversible.

As to the comparative immunity of Britain and the USA. Whatever the pacifists etc. may say, we have not gone totalitarian yet and this is a very hopeful symptom. I believe very deeply, as I explained in my book The Lion and the Unicorn, in the English people and in their capacity to centralise their economy without destroying freedom in doing so. But one must remember that Britain and the USA haven’t been really tried, they haven’t known defeat or severe suffering, and there are some bad symptoms to balance the good ones. To begin with there is the general indifference to the decay of democracy. Do you realise, for instance, that no one in England under 26 now has a vote and that so far as one can see the great mass of people of that age don’t give a damn for this? Secondly there is the fact that the intellectuals are more totalitarian in outlook than the common people. On the whole the English intelligentsia have opposed Hitler, but only at the price of accepting Stalin. Most of them are perfectly ready for dictatorial methods, secret police, systematic falsification of history etc. so long as they feel that it is on ‘our’ side. Indeed the statement that we haven’t a Fascist movement in England largely means that the young, at this moment, look for their fuhrer elsewhere. One can’t be sure that that won’t change, nor can one be sure that the common people won’t think ten years hence as the intellectuals do now. I hope they won’t, I even trust they won’t, but if so it will be at the cost of a struggle. If one simply proclaims that all is for the best and doesn’t point to the sinister symptoms, one is merely helping to bring totalitarianism nearer.

You also ask, if I think the world tendency is towards Fascism, why do I support the war. It is a choice of evils—I fancy nearly every war is that. I know enough of British imperialism not to like it, but I would support it against Nazism or Japanese imperialism, as the lesser evil. Similarly I would support the USSR against Germany because I think the USSR cannot altogether escape its past and retains enough of the original ideas of the Revolution to make it a more hopeful phenomenon than Nazi Germany. I think, and have thought ever since the war began, in 1936 or thereabouts, that our cause is the better, but we have to keep on making it the better, which involves constant criticism.

Yours sincerely,

Geo. Orwell

[panzershrike-pretz]

HI PRETZ! okay, for the ask game, how about fire, spring, and dna for your oc hugh? i loved his moodboard so i totally need to know more about him!

HI BLUUUUUU!!!! Ahhhhh, i'm so happy you liked my bee boy🥺💕💕💕 he's definetely one of my favorite babies!!

This got lONG, so to the read more abyss it goes

FIRE -> what’s one thing they’d destroy if they could, and why? would that destruction bring them any satisfaction or catharsis?

Hugh is one of the most gentle and caring aboard Blithe; he never showed any agression towards anyone and seems able to push through anything with a good and friendly nature. He doesn't have many enemies and the ones he has are just the common ones (Wights, Hollows, the Navy, pirate hunters and those things).

While he may not love authority figures such as sailors and cops - or anything to do with law enforcement, really -, he understands that they are needed even if he sees them as a nuisance who get in the way of his line of work - and he knows damn well he's not the "good guy" either for being a pirate, so he wouldn't destroy any of that if given the chance. Yes he hates the threat of a noose around his neck but if only him (and some other pirates, mostly not "good" like his friends) being free would put the rest of the world in potential dangers, it's not fair.

Now, while he still respescts those no-majs aspects of life that are unavoidable, what Hugh would seek to destroy is not a physical place or a specific job - it's an entire breed that exists solely for the purpose of hurting both him and other peculiars. So he can't exactly aim a cannon to a building, shoot, watch it fall and call it a day.

Hugh's problem with Wights and Hollows (even if he has a friend who's a Wight and knows three separate Hollows who aren't out for blood) is not a personal thing, but more of a conditional fear and hatred he was already born with to survive - same with other peculiars, it's an instinct.

It's not anything he can do something about (unless you hand him a buttom that'll make every Hollow and Wight in the world disappear forever on the spot), but it's still a thing he wishes he had the power to stop.

If he really could destroy both entire species, he would jump at the opportunity - not happily, as he'd lose good ol' Black Jack, but he'd still do it. It would be obviously hard on him, being the reason many died, but his options would be that or let those monsters roam free, killing for their own personal little plans and potentially causing more long-term harm than they already do on a normal basis.

Hugh wouldn't want the fame of freeing the magical world or any kind of medal or trophy; he'd want peace and quiet to grieve and think. He'd be glad to finally roam a street without fear eating him alive, but at the same time he'd feel immense guilt.

SPRING -> what does your OC miss most? will they ever be reunited? how would they feel about that?

He misses being a "normal" child, but at the same time wouldn't like to try again on life and miss out on what he conquered.

Hugh misses his old home in Virginia, where he was born and adopted by Sirius and Michael. He misses walking on tall grass and eating honey straight from a bee's nest. He misses simply sleeping between his dad's on the sun and misses Sirius telling him to be quiet on the morning's after a Full Moon, so he wouldn't wake Micah.

It was a simpler life, when he wasn't so scarred and traumatized, and it was good.

But he still loves the present, where he's deeply in love with this german girl who loves him just as much and he can fly like a busy lil' bee around Blithe's sails.

He wonders a lot about how life would've been if he just stayed at home back in 1942 - and he's kind of scared of the idea? He would've miss out on so much. He's a 90-something kid, unable to grow old but who still saw a lot on his lifetime and he wouldn't change a thing (even if it meant he'd still have 4 legs, 2 eyes and a functioning nose KAKAKAKA)

DNA -> does your OC believe in fate or destiny? what about soulmates? is this all a coincidence?

Somewhat? I mean, in a world full of magic, you can expect anything. He already saw prophecies happen first-hand and even saw one of his own friends having a Prophetic Episode in front of him, so I like to believe he does think fate/destiny are real.

As for soulmates, Hugh's case in which both him and Fiona are each other's first and only partners, I think he'd agree with the whole soulmate idea. He likes romance and the idea that him and Fiona would meet in every timeline, no matter what, and still fall in love each time.

He's seen plenty relationships going wrong, tho, and I guess he's the type that would think that a soulmate is not supposed to be only the romantic kind. They could be your friend, your sibling or anyone, really, that in every universe would somehow be connected to you. He likes to think this is true

[respondedinkind]

@ssolessurvivor asked: "Are you scared right now?" [Some meme I reblogged | always open]

The sound of it rushing across the vast plane of what is the early evening sky sounds sharp in Khan's ears; It grows louder, louder, louder even until it is so loud that it seems to drown everything else for a few seconds. As soon as it happens, it seems to be over again, though - the noise of fired-up engines ebbing away, like the roll of thunder slowly fading from existence.

And yet, despite all of it having lasted for only a few seconds in total, it had felt like literally minutes, maybe even hours for Khan, who - as soon as hearing the very first noises appear somewhere at the horizon - had stopped his motions of wood-cutting, stared up at the blue-violet that's only scarcely decorated with white clouds, equally as blue eyes wide open as they take in the sight.

He knows what has just happened, what has caused that noise to begin with: A fighter jet had crossed the sky, built by humans for the purpose of... well, fighting, used by the military of many different nations residing on this planet.

And yet, despite Khan being on earth, despite the technology of his own kin being so different from human's own... it had caused him to startle, simply because of that noise the engine produced sounding so utterly similar to what he's used to, what his existence was made of for a long time. Memories had popped up, sudden pictures of a world he'd been born in: Dark clouds caused by explosions, soldiers - including him, his division - jumping from aircrafts onto the dirt beneath their feet, weapons drawn, shouts echoing through the noise of death and destruction. Red plasma flies, cuts through tissue and skin, orders are being made, sent directly into his ear; No prisoners, kill on sight, conquer, overthrow the government. The one he's been eating breakfast with this morning suddenly cries out to his right - he's been hit, badly so, but there's no space to allow feelings to boil within a sturdy frame. Khan reaches out, hand trembling, pulls the other close and behind a rock formation, tries to ignore the bitter taste of guilt, sorrow and fear clinging to the roof of his mouth as he's forced to listen to the other screaming in agony---

Are you scared right now?

Logan's voice suddenly cuts in, just like that, and Khan blinks - finding himself in front of the cabin, standing in the snow, holding an axe in one hand and a piece of wood in the other while still staring up at the sky. An adams apple works as he swallows, his gaze whipping around to look at the human standing next to him, almost appearing alarmed, perhaps even worried by whatever he's seen on Khan's features. Their gazes continue to meet, sinking into each other's irises for what must be minutes...

The fighter jet is long gone, their breathing the only sound that cuts through the almost eerie silence. A bird chirps somewhere, wind brushes through the trees surrounding them, causing some snow to fall off the branches...

He straightens, quickly so; Bright blue eyes avert from the mismatched ones of his partner, looking elsewhere, while a pair of full lips is pressed together so tightly that they turn white for a second. Nostrils flare, Khan inhales, then exhales, does it a few times before closing his irises, then shakes his head as he resumes his work.

Chop - the wood is cut in half, then thrown onto the pile next to him. Chop, chop, chop.

"---No." It's a single word spoken by Khan, a simple one, and yet he does not really manage to keep the weight it holds away from the tone of his voice.

Chop, chop, chop. More wood follows. They need it, after all.

[consumedshadow-mysticmc]

Well that was a very personality quiz like moment. It is late at night, when an episode of Star Trek Voyager begins with the opening line, “You and I both know that fear only exists for one purpose; to be conquered.”

And I had finished that sentence as., “To be utilized”