#you already dont have a real job you dont need to rub it in
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shoutoramaru ¡ 1 year ago
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really good and normal that landlords seem to be the only americans that get every conceivable holiday off of "work". youll be getting emails at all times of the year like "in observance of childrens day, our offices will be closed on April 4th" i think it would be easier at this point if you told me which seldom few days you are open actually
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byuntrash101 ¡ 5 months ago
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still your biggest fan. – 송민기.
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SYNOPSIS. your boyfriend is on the other side of the globe touring. somehow you fear the cheers of the fans will make him forget about you. so you decide to remind him you are still and will always be his biggest fan
or in which you find a novel way to use your lightstick and send the video to your beloved bf.
mingi x f!reader, smut, mdni
tags. etablished relationship, facetime sex, masturbation (f & m), BLACK UNDERCUT MINGI (!!!!!!!!), jealous + slightly possessive reader, but mingi reassures her (awwww), use of (unconventional) toys (wink wonk im insane pls stop me), pet names, multiple orgasms (f), praises, squirting. wc. 2k
a/n. this mingi has me feral and the concert videos got me in a chokehold. and it's only the first date i need help. also shout out to that one video of yungi saying they use the lightstick to "relax" at night. not proofread.
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There was one thing that was absolutely certain about Mingi: that man loved attention. That man lived for the roars of the crowd. When he danced, he was electrified by the cheers of the fans. And you knew your boyfriend was made to be on stage. He enjoyed the attention of fans, hence the fact he was constantly body rolling, hip thrusting and tongue poking. He loved to see the thousands of people thirst for him, he loved looking at all the concert videos all over the internet. He laughed and giggled at the tiktok edits, at the twitter threads, at every comment more over the top than the next.
Usually you don’t mind, you even enjoy them too. You like seeing him happy and fulfilled in his job but today maybe you’re a little insecure. He just flew out to start the American leg of the tour and you’re left behind in this bed that seems so empty. You fear somehow the loud cheers will make him forget about you. You don’t want that. You want to remind him. You want to make sure that today when he goes to sleep the last thing he sees is you. 
You looked at the time, your eyes darted to the digital clock on your night stand. At this time he was probably already at the hotel. It was pretty late for you but you wanted to send him a little treat, you knew how Mingi loved when you sent him videos of you playing with yourself and today you might add a little twist. 
You didn’t have much time if you wanted him to see the video before he slept…
***
Mingi was spent, true. But he was still pumped full of adrenaline when he stepped out of the shower with the ends of his raven black hair wet, the longer strands of his undercut dripping down. He didn’t even bother stepping into his pajamas, the AC was off and this part of the world in July was pretty hot. 
He tucked himself in bed, still wide awake. He looked at his phone, a text from you from several hours ago when you went to bed. You were probably sleeping right now. He debated responding, fearing he would wake you. But he pictures you pouting when you’d wake up in a few hours without a response from him and he couldn’t bear to make you feel that way so he typed a quick answer. 
🎀 princess #2: hope the show goes well (ik it will because you gonna kill it cause you the best😌). i lob you. you know that right? dont forget about me ok? <33333333
👸princess minki (real): i could never baby i love you more. hope you have a great day and i miss you baby <3
then for a second the three little dots appeared and Mingi thought he hallucinated it. But then an other text appeared.
🎀 princess #2: i’ll always be your first and your biggest fan
Mingi didn't even have time to reply that he received a video file. He faintly gasped at the thumbnail. It was your legs spread out on his bed. The big play button in the middle of the frame though blocked out the most interesting part and he didn’t even breathe before he played the video.
He continued to hold his breath when he saw you rub your clit throught your white panties. He didn’t know how long you did played with yourself but your panties were completely see through. Your juices were sticking to your folds, the laces barely concealing you anymore. But still, he needed these damn panties out of the way. 
He wanted to see you. His hand found his cock on instinct, immediately palming his hardening bulge. And his prayers were answered. You pushed the panties to the side uncovering the most beautiful sight Mingi had ever layed eyes on. He exhaled a long sigh when long strings of slick connected you to the thin fabric of the underwear. How bad he wanted to be there, to stuff your soaked panties into your mouth while he thrusted his thick fingers into you. How bad he wanted to feel you twitch around him. How bad he wanted to hear his name fall from your quivering lips as he brought you to your peak. He wanted you so bad.
But then you grabbed hold of something, something that emitted light… The lightiny? Mingi’s jaw hung open when he saw you bring the handle to your center, rubbing it through your folds, coating it with your juices before bringing it up to your hard clit playing with a little, prying beautiful muffled sounds out of your mouth. Just to bring the handle down again, you took a firm grip of the rounded part and pushed the handle inside your trembling core. 
“Fuck” Mingi exhaled as he started pumping his balled fist around his now fully hard cock, he kicked the covers off him just to be able to jerk himself off without resistance. 
“Nghhh” you moaned quietly as you bottomed out. “M-Mingi are you watching?” As if you could see him, Mingi nodded vigorously, qmd you gave more purpose to the coming and going of his wrist. “Keep watching me. K-keep- fuck aaaah. Keep looking at me. I’ll make myself cum for you, ok?”
“Fuck yes baby I wanna see it all.” Mingi replied in a strangled breath, his hand going to play with balls, while his other hand held the phone incredibly close to his face. if he could have he would have gone through the screen and right into you. 
You started to slowly bounce on the lightstick. You were obviously already really worked up, your pussy was clenching down on the shiny copper handle and the light was perfectly shining on your hard clit, making it obvious that you were pretty close. Red and swollen, ready to explode. Just how he liked.
So you did. In a few seconds your thighs were trembling and your movement became uneven. You started to squirt small translucent spurts, one then two.
“Fuck baby you’re so fucking hot” Mingi breathed and pumped himself faster. 
You took the copper handle out and rubbed your clit in tight and fast circles, squirting more translucent liquid and soaking the sheets. Your center quivering around nothing. You slowed down with a sigh and the video stopped.
Mingi felt like he was going to sink into eternal darkness and despair if he didn’t see more of you right now. His cock was twitching in his strong fist, his cockhead was leaking so much precum he wanted you to see him too. He wanted you to know what you did to him.
So he pressed FaceTime. It rang once, twice then you picked up. You looked disheveled and short of breath. Fuck how fucking beautiful you were. Mingi wanted to kiss you all over this pretty face of yours.
“Why do you torture me?” he said a little more whiny than anticipated. 
He was so cute with wet hair and his eyebrows meeting on his forehead. He flipped the camera to show you his swollen cock, hard, red and leaking. You bit you lip at the mouth watering sight.
“I just wanted you to remember me. That's all.” you started, your hand finding your folds once again. “Remind you I will always be your biggest fan”
“Fuck how could I forget about you? Are you insane?” he breathed out, his voice sounded strained, in pain almost. You could only imagine how worked up he was and this urgency in his tone compelled you to find a new angle to the video call. You balanced it on the covers and your wet pussy and the mess you made came into view again.
“Fuckkkk” Mingi sighed again, trying his hardest not to be too loud. San was next door and the last thing he wanted was for him to bring up his little intimate session with you tomorrow at breakfast. “You’ve made such a mess. I usually hate it but God I’d give everything to sleep in the wet spot tonight”. You saw him jerk himself off faster, his thumb spreading the precum all over his tip and dragging it down his shaft. Squeezing the head the bring out even more and repeat it again. 
“Please show me again” he didn’t intend to sound so desperate but it couldn’t be helped because he in fact was that desperate for you. “Please show me how you fuck yourself with the lightiny”
“O-okay” You brought it back and stuffed it inside your clenching little pussy with a sigh, your other hand spreading your lips apart, making sure Mingi had the first raw VIP view of the show. 
“Fuckkkk” he whined again. “You’re so fucking nasty for me, doll”
You chuckled, knowing your little scheme had worked. You knew right now he was only thinking of you. Completely pussy drunk even though he was thousands of miles away.
“I wish it was you inside me right now, Mingming”
“Fuck me too baby” he said strangling his cock tighter, more precum oozing out again. He was close judging by the way he kept on twitching in his own hand. The sight urged you to bounce harder on the handle of the lightstick, your pussy clenching around it, gliding so smoothly in and out of you while your other hand kept on abusing your sensitive bundle of nerves.
“Baby I-I’m close” he said, a certain rasp about his voice that was only giving more weight to his words. His fist was frantically moving along his cock, now mainly focussing on his tip, making the poor thing absolutely miserable: all wet and beet red, close to bursting.
“M-me too” you said,  feeling the familiar knot in the pits of your stomach approaching its rupture point. The premise of your orgasm manifested itself in the form of an other small sprut of transparent liquid “Nggghh fuck-” you gasped. “I’m c-cumming again” you whined, rubbing your clit faster, in thighter circles. You ripped the handle out of you and one big squirt came out of your abused little pussy, joining the existing mess in Mingi’s sheets. 
“Oh fuck baby” Mingi couldn’t peel his eyes of the screen. “Fuck baby me- Fuck… Me too” He watched as your thighs became weak and as your pretty little pusy gushed out more and more fluids. You were the hottest thing he’s ever seen. And he couldn’t possibly take it anymore. He let himself go. He abruptly stop stroking himself just to let the first big rope of cum sprout out of his slit and crash over his stomach. You moaned louder at the sight. He kept on stroking again, milking more delicious cum out of his twitching red cock, completely repainting his stomach with thick and white cum, grunting as his hips involuntarily thrusted upwards until it all stopped.
When he had caught his breath he approached the phone to show his stomach and scooped some of his spillage between his fingers. 
“Look what you did to me? Just cause you got a little jealous of the fans?” he chuckled.
“I did that?” you said appalled, “No you did that! Stop making me jealous and it won't happen again” He flipped the camera again and you couldn't help but to smile mindlessly at the screen. He was a complete wreck, sharp eyes half lidded, bottom lip swollen and red from being bitten and strands of black hair sticking to his forehead. This haircut made him ridiculously hot. A mischievous smirk pulled at his full lips.
“Or…” he trailed off. “I don't this stop and you make me dirty sexy videos after every show”
“Yeah” you said, sarcasm tinting your voice. “Let's see you do that! We’ll see how it goes when you came back” you challenged him. Your smile sent shivers down Mingi’s spine. He loved you but you definitely could be scary sometimes.
“You know what, I changed my mind. I'll just behave and you can reward me when I get home.”
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want more? try my fic facetime ♡
SYNOPSIS. mingi has a small favor to ask you real quick.
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gay-dorito-dust ¡ 9 months ago
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remember when you did the HSR hurt/comfort reader getting injured? i absolutely NEED one with gallagher, gepard and a character of your choice. you dont have to do this right away! just been thinking about it ‼️
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Blade:
Feral. Absolutely feral.
This man gets somehow even more deranged the moment you get injured.
He’s pretty much foaming at the mouth like a rabid dog the moment his eyes noticed that you were unresponsive. If anything seeing you borderline catatonic tore Blade apart in the most painful way possible, just as his desperation to get to you before anyone else could do further harm became his mission.
Bodies were going to pile up real fast as Blade practically glides across the battlefield with grace, precision and a determination to eliminate any and all that stood to stop him from getting to you.
The destruction Blade left behind in that moment was unlike anything anyone has ever seen and Blade became a lot more dangerous man than before, many have reasons to suspected that he might’ve been holding back, and it wasn’t until now did they truly believe that their theory had weight.
After getting you away from everything Blade stayed incredibly close as you got patched up, going so far as to growl and snap at anyone or anything that he believed posed a threat to you or wasn’t doing their job right; he’d even pull out his sword as an silent threat/warning as to what was to come should you get worse rather better.
‘Blade I’m fine.’ You tell him, trying to stop him from killing the poor doctor who had just stitched up the last of your wounds. ‘I’m going to be fine, just please for my sake don’t threaten people who are just doing their job.’
‘I don’t trust them.’ Was all he said while holding your hand, rubbing the back of it with his thumb.
‘The wounds were too deep Blade,’ you began, ‘trust them or don’t but that doesn’t change the fact that they saved me.’ Blade didn’t say anything after that but from the clenching of his jaw and the conflicting emotions flickering in eyes, it was clear that Blade was still very much conflicted about everything.
Needless to say that after you had properly healed from all your wounds, Blade became unbearably overprotective of you much to your dismay, but if it was going to silence his doubts for good then you were more then willing to leave him to his own devices.
Gallagher:
Is more concerned about your well-being and getting you the medical attention that you required than anything else. He could have the perpetrator sniffed out within minutes, but would rather spend those precious minutes making sure you were okay and that you were going to be okay by medical professionals.
He doesn’t care if he gets shit for not having his priorities straight by Sunday, the winged cunt could fuck off and die for all Gallagher cared, because at the end of the day he was always going to choose to take care of you over his job.
He’d naturally give the job of hunting down the perpetrator to someone else of equal rank while he decides to step away from everything to take care of you as the doctors instructed. For there was just no way in hell would Gallagher abandon you when you were bed bound, it just didn’t sit right with him.
‘You alright sweetheart?’ He’d ask as he helps you sit up in bed. ‘I’m okay Gallagher thank you for everything.’ You said, smiling up at him. ‘It’s not a problem.’ Gallagher replies as he sits on the edge of your bed, flashing you a smile. ‘As long as you’re okay, that’s all I care about.’ You furrowed your brows. ‘Won’t Sunday be on your case for slacking off on the job?’
‘Maybe but who cares when that winged rat has been slowly loosing control of everything for a while now.’ The brunette said as he then shrugged his shoulders. ‘But all I care about right is making sure that you’re happy, healthy but above all, safe.’
‘But I’m already those things regardless.’ You said, squeezing his hand as he chuckled, kissing the side of your head softly. ‘Then I’ll just have to keep up the good work then hmm?’ He says cheekily before winking and lifting himself off of the bed to fetch you food and medicine for your recovery.
Gepard:
Much like Gallagher, Gepard is more concerned either your well being more so then anything else because to Gepard, you and your safety were his number one top priory.
However after seeing you get injured, he feels as though he had failed you or wasn’t fast enough to get to you, and will let it eat away at him for a long time too before you have to step in and remind him why that was absolute bullshit.
Afterwards Gepard would treat you like porcelain or glass whether he was aware of it or not. You understood why but after a while when you began to get better you’d have to start telling him to cut it out.
You’d might to sit him down and gently tell him that he didn’t always have to treat you as though you were going to break after every minor inconvenience. Gepard would immediately go red in the face and apologise for over stepping, but you’d only smile and hold his burning face in your hands and pressing kisses into his skin, which would only make his face burn even redder then before.
He’s just a sweet soul who’d do anything to protect his loved ones and takes it rather personal when he couldn’t when he shouldn’t, but that’s just the way he was and you loved him for it very, very much and you remind him of that every single day. After all at the end of the day Gepard only wants you to be safe and heal at an acceptable rate, he would even go as far as to monitor everything closely so that there be no room for any possible health complications.
Seeing you injured had made Gepard more scared more than he’d like to admit, and he would do anything and everything in his power to prevent it from happening ever again, because for as long as Gepard was still breathing he’d dedicate himself to being your shield for the rest of your lives together.
And that’s a hundred present guaranteed.
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grahstumhurts ¡ 1 month ago
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Stressed out PT 2
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Lara x Megan x Fem!reader
Smut + fluff
Content - Cursing, Strap usage, Strap sucking, Strap referred to as cock, Poorly written smut, Degradation, Praise
Request
Prompt 42- Good cock & bad cock routine with dom!A, dom!B and sub!C. A praises C while B degrades and taunts them.
“Good girl baby, taking my cock like this” Megan grunts from behind. “Such a good girl, honey” Her voice dripping with sweetness.
“Fucking slut. Both of us fucking you like this, You like it? Being whored out like this for us two?” Lara thrusts her hips into my mouth, I gag loudly on her red faux cock. 
“Good job,baby, you're taking Lara so well.” Megan squeezes my hips, “Good girl, yn” 
“Dirty slut taking me like this, You wanted it so badly, huh?” Lara holds my chin as she pushes deeper in, Megan's hand snakes down and rubs my clit slowly in a figure eight. The room feels hot, the smell of sex draped over the sounds of skin on skin. The tears well up in my eyes as Lara’s strap hits the back of my throat again and again and again. Megan's hands hold my hips as she thrusts hastily, pounding deeper into my cunt, while Lara pulls back and out of my mouth. “Tell us how bad you wanted us to fuck you like this, baby” her demeaning manner only makes my head grow fuzzier.
“F-fuck i wanted it so bad” I sloppily mumble out, my lips feeling numb. “Just for you and Meg” Lara smirks and pushes back hair from my sweat sheen forehead.
“Beg to cum then, Beg us to let you cum.” She glances back at Megan, who’s only focused on making her hips snap back into my cunt so deliciously. Her grip on my hips tightens as she hears my moans grow louder.
“Please, I need it so bad. I'll be so good for you.” The desperation apparent in my tone “P-please i wanna cum so bad f-fuck.” My voice cracks as megan picks up her pace, 
“Good job, baby” Megan coos, “Let go, honey. Cum for me and lara.” She strokes my back as i tip over the edge. My back arching and knee weak, Megan slows her pace to help ride out the intensity of my orgasm. 
“F-fuck fuck fuck” I whine out as Megan pulls out. Lara lays with me down on the bed as Megan is cleaning up the straps. She rubs her hands on my stomach comfortingly. “You okay?” She asks after kissing my cheek. I nod, “You sure? Sorry if we were a bit too rough on you” She chuckles then pulls the covers over us. 
“M’okay” I mumble out tiredly. I feel the weight shift on the bed as Megan lays down and wraps her arms around my waist.
“So, what now?” Megan quietly asks, the room silent as we contemplate hopefully aligning answers. 
“I dont know, I'm down to see where this goes though?” Lara rests her cheek on my chest, I let out a mhm in agreement.
“Thanks though, this kinda helped me with the stress i think.”
“Always available to do it again” Megan giggles, “Are you guys hungry or is it just me?” I perk up at the sound of some late night snacks, 
“I'm happy to go grab a snack, then watch a movie together?” I offer already hopping out of bed and putting on some comfy clothes. I throw a pair of shorts at lara, “We are not walking out of this room naked” 
“I personally dont have a problem seeing either of you two naked” Lara laughs, “but if you say so”
“It's not that I have a problem seeing you without clothes, Lord knows i don't, it's the others seeing you naked.” I shrug “I want you two all to myself” I sing-songy say as i quietly step down the stairs into the kitchen where a sleepy Manon and Daniela sit. I immediately blush at the situation. 
“Oh. My. God” Dani gasps seeing Megan and Lara quietly following behind me. “I KNEW YOU GUYS WERE FREAKY LIKE THAT” She whispers shouts at us.
“You guys need to keep it down, seriously its concerning how thin these walls are.” Manon sighs as she puts down her cup of tea. “You’re lucky that both Sophia and Yoonchae are deep sleepers. Would not want Yoonchae to hear what we heard.” she gags jokingly. I slap lara’s shoulder as she tries not to laugh.
“Its not funny, Lara, this is your fault to be real.” I blame her with a flushed face.
“I'm going to bed, now that we know the source of the noises.” Dani announces with a yawn. “Use protection, guys” She puts her hand on Megan's shoulder who's still stunned with embarrassment, then walks off to her shared room with Manon.
A/N yes this is poorly written but i was kinda getting stressed out abt writting this, ironic since this is abt stress relief lol. BUT working on some other stuff so please be patient with my adhd ass!
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0littleladybug0 ¡ 6 months ago
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haihai :3 could u please do mayhaps a cg!steve harrington x little reader an mayhaps they the little is a bit cranky >:O and maybe just wants extra cuddles and extra baby time w cg stevieeeeeeeeeeee :D I love ur acc btw
YES I CANNN!!!
this request is the cutest thing ever i love it so much (coming from a girl that gets supper cranky when im regressed 🤭
Cg!Steve Harrington x little!reader
Summary: someones getting cranky and Stevie knows just how to help
Tags/warnings: Age regression, gender neutral reader, tooth rotting fluff from our favorite cg, spelling mistakes if you squint your eyes (theres always gonna be at least one i miss), reader being the most teeniest tinyest baby ever, reader being insecure but dw Steve is to the rescue!, no use of Y/N, ive never written for Steve before so let me know how i did!!
DNI IF NSFW
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It wasn't an exaggeration that you were completely and utterly exhausted. Between classwork and picking up as many shifts as you could with your part time job, you were stacked with responsibilities and were constantly busy. Its not like you were doing it all alone though, you and Steve have both been working insanely hard. You both needed and deserved a nice break from the real world.
Your little space was just that, it was perfect for the both of you! You loved being taken care of and Steve loved having somebody to take care of, and he especially loved taking care of his sweet sweet baby.
The only issue however, was that you always had a problem verbalizing what it was you wanted. You knew that Steve loved being your caregiver and didn't mind your regression at all, intact he praised it any chance he could and was beyond supportive of everything, but you just couldn't shake the insecurities away sometimes no matter how hard you tried to.
You had spent all week without slipping into your little space, something that Steve noticed very quickly since you rarely ever go that long without regressing, even if its just for a hour or two. You wanted nothing more then to slip and be babied by your cg, but the insecurities in your head were too strong, and that made you want to slip even more.
Good thing for Steve though, he had an indescribable gift of reading you just like a book. He knew everything and anything about your regression, and he knew that the longer you stayed big, the smaller and smaller you would regress.
So when you came back home from an exhausting shift after your classes, he knew what you were doing.
You kicked off your shoes and flopped onto the couch with a small whine escaping your lips. You were so tired you didn't even see him walking over to the couch, taking a seat right by your feet, rubbing circles on your back.
"Hi baby." he cooed, "lets change you into some jamies and get you some food, how does that sound?"
The idea of being all cozied up in your favorite pjs sounded like a dream, but the thought of having to get up and actually change, you simply just didn't have the energy for that.
you wanted Steve to pick you up and carry you on his hip, change you into your jammies and give you a nice warm bottle of milk.
And Steve always knew what you wanted. Which made you want to stay big even more, but you were beginning to slip and you couldn't help it.
"No, not tiny." you pout, trying to prove your point.
"You mean this itty bitty baby right here, this little one isn't tiny hm?" he asked, tickling you slightly at your sides. "Seems pretty tiny to me."
You giggle and squirm, immediately making you slip completely into your little space.
"Cmere sweetheart, lets get you changed, your to tiny to wear your big clothes, i cant imagine thats comfy."
"Wanna be in my jammies." you nodded in agreement.
Steve got up from the couch, a confused look lacing his face when he turned to see you staring up at him with big doe eyes.
"You want me to carry you, dont you?" Steve asked, already knowing the answer to it.
"Yes please." you said shyly hiding your face.
He chuckles to himself as he put his arms under yours and hosting you up on his hip. "Good job with your manners hun, where did i get such a polite little one?"
God he loved to see you blush and hide in the crook of his neck.
After getting you into some comfy clothes and a snack in your stomach, he knew that you didnt even need a bottle to knock you out for the night. Would you still be asking for one, oh absolutely.
You began to kick your legs when he hovered you over the couch in an attempt to you you down.
"No dada! No couch!" You shook your head vigorously.
"Baby, I gotta put you down somewhere, dont you want something to eat?" Steve asked.
You let out a whine and buried your head back into the crook of Steves neck. All you wanted was to cuddle with your caregiver, you didn't want to think about what you wanted to eat, let alone have the energy to actually do it.
"Just wanna stay with you." you mumbled, your voice soft and muffled from Steves shoulder.
"Ok How about this," Steve began, holding your cheek with his free hand so that you could look at him. "What if i made you some nice *comfort food of choice* and then a bottle after, huh? How does that sound?" Steve suggested, he could tell you were tired and fussy and all down right exhausted. he couldn't imagine all the big feelings you were having right now in your little mindset.
He waiting until you slowly nodded in agreement before walking over to the kitchen, with you still on his hip of course. After the food and the bottle was done, he walked you over to the couch and placed you on his lap. He pulled a throw blanket over your back and made sure your stuffie was close to your side and put on cartoons on the TV. You didnt have to ask him what you wanted, he already knew how to treat his tiny tiny baby.
he blew on your food to make sure it wasnt too hot before holding it out to you on your baby spoon, encouraging you to eat it.
He knew that in such a little headspace the last thing you had was energy to feed yourself. He never minded helping out his baby.
"Its yummy isnt it?" He asked in between bites, never rushing you and letting you take your time with the dish.
You would nod along, clinging to Steves side feeling your hangry crankiness slowly go away.
You giggled when he licked his finger and whipped your checks clean. Your laugher to Steve was like an angle choir, he would do anything to hear that little laugh.
After you were done with your food, Steve had so hesitation feeding you your bottle next. You could feel your insecurities rise again at the though of Steve having to take care of you so much, making you cranky again.
You tried to grab the bottle from Steves hand before he tapped it away.
"Its ok baby, let dada give it to you." he reassured.
That one piece of reassurance was enough to get you back into your baby headspace as you nuzzled your head further into Steves chest with a smile.
Your bottle was quickly finished as Steve reassured you with sweet nothings throughout it. He grabbed your paci and held it out waiting for you to take it. You had no hesitation letting him place it in your mouth. He brought both arms around you now, bringing you into a big bear hug. He layed down on the couch with you on top and ran his hand through your hair.
"Sorry i was cranky today." You mumbled through your paci.
Steve looked down at you at your saddened state. He hated when you apologized for feeling your emotions.
"Hey baby, look at me." He said, bringing a hand to your cheek, brushing it slowly with his finger. "You never have to apologize for the way you feel. Its ok that your not happy and playful everyday. Every baby has their cranky days. And i will always be there to take care of you no mater if your happy or sad or cranky or tired. Im going to be there for you no matter what. Im always gonna be here for my little baby." He kissed the top of your head and tighten his grasp around you.
You nuzzled back into his chest with a soft smile on your lips.
You felt loved. You were loved. Everything was ok.
You both fell asleep holding each other on the couch, you woke up feeling cured of last nights big emotions with the help of your cg and your littlespace. And even if you woke up and you were still little, you didnt worry about being too much for Steve. You knew he would grab you a juice box, set you on the kitchen counter and make you breakfast as you watched.
You truly couldn't ask for a better dada.
But yet again, he couldn't ask for a better little one either.
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redheadspark ¡ 1 year ago
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hi could i ask for #11 with az fron the september prompt list?? i think itd be sooo cute with him!!!! feel free to ignore this if u dont wanna write it! thank u love u
A/N - I love this for our batboy! Thanks for requesting this, anon!
Always
Summary - You knew how to bring Azriel back. Always
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Warnings - Just some fluff :D
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You saw it in his backside first, how his shoulders were hunched and his wings were tucked tight.
Azriel, being the ever-brooding Spymaster that he was, would give off certain signs that he was tense or stressed.  Now to any other person, he could hide it so well and not have it been a huge deal.  But to others who knew him well, very well, his stress would still be seen and the tension was evident along the tightness of the shoulders and the click of his jawline.  
As for you, being his mate and the one true person you knew Azriel the best, his tension and stress were hugely seen.
On the plus side, there were plenty of tricks you’ve done in the past to help ease the tension and lower the stress.  Similar things included getting him his favorite tea at night at the ready when he would slump home from the training camps, getting him a new book you knew would strike his interest, and even preparing a favorite meal of his from his childhood that his mother would make him on bad days.  They all have worked splendidly, you seeing the look of adoration on his face and the stare of love in his eyes as he hugged and thanked you.  
Other things included long walks together in the evening under the bright stars, getting a drink from Rita’s that was not too strong but enough to make him lean back in his chair so to speak, and a hike on the weekend would sometimes be better.  Of course, getting him in bed and driving the stress out of him that way never failed. 
But there was one last tactic you rarely used on him, a tactic that was linked to a secret that no one else knew about him.  Not even Cassian or Rhysand knew this secret, and Azriel would be mortified if they did.
Azriel was ticklish.
You slipped into your bedroom, seeing Azriel already rubbing the back of his neck with a bit of agitation and some grimacing as his wings remained tight along his backside.  Closing the door quietly, you hummed and crawled on top of the bed to be right behind him.  Placing your hands along his shoulders, you felt him shiver, making you press a kiss against his head.
“How bad was the camp today?” You whispered, feeling him reach up with one hand to touch yours on his shoulder.
“They’re new recruits, trying to get them all on the same page is another kind of torture,” he hummed, squeezing your fingers in his scarred ones, “I think Cassian almost threw one of them off the mountain,”
“That’s why you have captains, Az.  To train them, that's not your job anymore,” You gently reminded him.
“Our Captains are not doing their best, which is why I needed to step in a few times,” He explained, sighing in tiredness and a hint of heaviness, “I don’t wanna think about training anymore.  I missed you, how was your day?”
You grinned at him asking you, your fingers staying on his shoulders as a way to distract him, though you already had a plan hatched in your mind, “Well, I worked on our garden today and we have a good batch of carrots and cucumbers for our stew that you like, Feyre is in talk with me about maybe visiting Winter Court for a day or two to talk about their Community Center, and then I was thinking—“
Your fingers went to his sides, tickling him mercilessly as he laughed and tumbled onto the bed as if you were not letting up.  Just hearing his laugh along made your heart sing, knowing it was genuine and filled with life.  Sometimes he would have to force a laugh from meetings with other High Lords from other Courts, just to be civil.  You hated those kinds of laughs, nothing like him at all as his real laugh could bring you up from your lowest days.  Hearing his laugh for the first time, his real laugh that he would only have with a handful of his close friends, was one of the first things that made you fall in love with him,
One of many things really.
After a few seconds of you tickling him, thinking that you would get the upper hand, Azriel used his own Spymaster tricks on you in a millisecond. Now you were the one pinned under him on your king-sized bed, his fingers getting at your ribs and behind your legs as your laugh was now the one filling the room.  Although you knew he would never use intense force on you, you still felt useless in rolling out from under him.
Yet the trick worked, you seeing through your teary eyes that his wings were now hanging loosely at his sides, his shoulders were slumped with the tension flying away in the air, and even his bright hazel eyes were twinkling in delight as you were shaking and shrieking in laughter from his fingers along your skin.
“You give in?!” He asked over your laughing fit.  You were giggling like mad, but you nodded your head as he finally backed off with his fingers.  But before he could get too far away, you pulled him in by the back of his neck to kiss him softly.  He melted against you, arms in your hold and kissing you back smoothly.
This side of Azriel was rare, but such a sight to see.  Nothing bothering him, nothing stressing him out to the point of pulling his own hair out.  He was at ease, the weight of his duties and the world in itself was nowhere near him.  You would fight tooth and nail to make sure he would have this in his life.
Both of your lives.
You pulled away from his lip briefly to scan his eyes, waiting as he caught his breath before you spoke, “All is well, Az.  Okay?”
He took in a long breath, smiling as he nodded his head, “Okay,”
There was no more talk of the stress he had that day, not after you two untangled from each other and had dinner in your little kitchen, and after you two took a shower together to wash off the day.
Finally, the stress never returned as you two embraced one another in your bed to let the sleep take over. You knew you would always find a way to help Azriel, no matter how far away he felt.
You’d bring him home.  Always.
The End.
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September Prompt Sessions
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the-s1lly-corner ¡ 7 months ago
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okay here we go (I added in images to characters you might not know)
Mild crushes:
Brassius (left) and Hassel (right)
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Larry
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Lord Milori (still kinda like him)
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Sir Pentious and Lucifer
Used to take over my life:
Grillby
Gaster
Brett Hand
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Lukas
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Mordecai Heller
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Kinger
Adam (most recent)
ALREADY HAS ME DEAD DJJSKX:
Clopin
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I used to like him before back in January, but after listening to the soundtrack of this movie again, I frickin fell in LOVE
The obsession got so bad that I’m now researching Romani history and culture, watching those “the making of (movie name)” videos, interviews (which there are SO FEW OF) of the VAs or Alan Menken, the composer of the soundtrack
I want to know everything when I like a character lol
I actually have more, but it already feels weirdly personal to confess some of them so thank god that this is the silly corner :]
SCARED TO SEND IN BUT HERE WE GO
Mo need to fear this is a no judgement zone! Also I lost my right to judge people when I wrote mpreg a few weeks ago/lh
Rubs hands
The first two!! Obligatory "I've never gotten too deep into pokemon and the only game I've played start to finish is shield, and I'm like. Partway through brilliant diamond" soooooo! I know nothing about the personalities of these two so we're going off of looks!! And I say!
Valid!
Brassius gives off either old and exhausted punk or old exhausted gay artist but those two can overlap!
Hassel Looks yummy I love me a good longhaired blonde man AND he looks a little on the older side? YUMMY!!! He looks like he'd either he a grade A douchebag rich guy or a total sweetheart
Larry! Hey I know you I saw your dick on Twitter!!!/ref mo but real talk I can get the appeal! I already know that's hes a tired working man but that's about all I know!! Hes valid, I'd give him a big ol kith
Milori looks interesting! I don't know wheres hes from so once more we rely off of looks! He looks vaguely like a broken man . I can fix him. Valid!!!
Pentious is valid but I'm biased because I also had a crush on the character!! Pathetic men are just so silly!! Probably also has my favorite design of the entire show!!
Lucifer is also valid I can see the vision!! Caring but mentally I'll man who distances himself for one reason or another despite deeply wanting a connection my BELOVED
Grillby also had a choke hold on me when I was into undertale!! I'm so sad that there werent many grillby x reader fics out there- if I was still balls deep into undertale and deltarune like I used to be I'd 100% give writing the characters a shot but unfortunately I doubt I ever will <\3 unrelated theres a surprising amount of buff bara art of him
Gaster!! I can also get behind!! Mysterious creature that hardly has any lore iirc, fandom either portrayed him as a mad evil scientist or a loving father to sans and papyrus, at least with my experience with the fandom.. valid!!
I never watched inside job but I've heard good things about it! Brett looks like a sweetie, so I can understand the appeal! He looks so silly.. just a guy.. valid
Lukas!! It's been so long since I've heard someone talk about MCSM! Obligatory I dont remember much of Lukas, just that he was kind of an ass in the beginning I think.. but I can see the appeal! I was more of a ivor girlie
Surprisingly I have not seen lackadaisy yet! Surprising I know, since I'm huge fans of other indie animations on youtube!! Going off looks I can see the appeal, he gives old grumpy grandpa vibes but I could be totally off! I like his eyebrows :3
Kinger is another valid but again I might be biased because hes my baby girl- cant wait to see more of him in future episodes especially since hes hardly had any screen time so far <\3 he seems so sweet :(
Adam!! I can see the appeal again but his personality isnt really for me <\3 hes valid though!!
AND CLOPIN! It's been so so so long since I've seen the movies but omfg I remember I loved him a lot! Yummy design as well as a nice personality I wish we got more of him <\3 VALID VALID VALID
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ladylaviniya ¡ 9 months ago
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Please someone lobotomise me. I don't want to have big human thoughts. I'm done. Just put me in a care home and let me go through dementia as I enjoy puzzles all day. I'd rather be at peace and forget things than have to continue feeling like I'm constantly drowning.
I hate myself and I hate that I struggle to fit into society.
I just want to be loved and I thought I'd be married with kids by now (yes I'm only 22 but I'm a Christian virgin who struggles with the physical feelings of being comfortable with sex other than the smut I write and read.)
I thought men were real- I thought men were romantic and worshipped women. I didn't realise how objectified and then shamed we are by men who behave like animals.
I don't want to work and I think that's a massive reason I'm having such a bad breakdown. I want to be a Pilates wife. I want to be at home baking and cooking and meal planning and loving a husband. I want to mend his work uniform and sit and rub his feet while he oats my head and tells me I'm his angel.
I don't want to work in disability care where my tolerance is so minimal to loud, overstimulated (overstimulating for me) aggressive clients. Or work with babies that scream and cry and hit along with angry parents that yell at you the moment something goes wrong. I wish job employment agencies would stop trying to pressure me into these roles. I KNOW THEYRE UNDERSTAFFED ALREADY SO IM NOT RIDING A SINKING BOAT- no THANKS
I just want my dad. I just want to go home. I just want to be 6 years old. I want to go to preschook again and do painting.
I don't want to work from 5pm-5am and walking Brisbane streets at night all alone going from one cleaning place to another just for one client to write passive aggressive comments in the Communication booklet and my boss to start telling other co-workers that I'm having meltdowns and I'm high maintenance.
I'm autistic and I just want to be treated like a toddler or a dog because that's kinder than what's happening now.
I just want a husband to look after me and protect me.
I want to just make cute little videos and not have to worry my pretty head about money.
I DONT WANT designer bags or clothes. I just want to have a house I'm allowed to decorate and make dresses or bake for church. And a husband who comes from work and pats my head and tells me I'm a good girl. At this rate I don't even care if he's fucking a receptionist on the side.
I get it how these are such white woman tears. But fuck I think every woman should have this dream off they WANT without any shame.
I know it's a "grow up this is reality, you're describing something that doesn't exist." WHY CANT IT EXIST. FUCK.
I don't blame feminism. Feminism is amazing and I love her.
I blame classism.
People can't survive on just single home incomes anymore and that's fucked up to me.
"but women had jobs too you're just describing the rich wom-"
Women with jobs were mostly young single women waiting to get married or women who never wanted to get married but needed a liveable income. YES some entire families worked to survive poverty back in the day, I wont disregard that, but FUCK
you would think being so advanced as we are considering we mass produce via machine etc, human life would be "easier" BUT IT ISNT.
And I'm TIRED. I really am. I've been depressed since the day I was born but because it's so normal to me I forget how depressed I am and then feel bad when I burn the fuck out.
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robinismywifee ¡ 1 year ago
Text
Back to the Old House - Chapter 4
August 23rd, 2034
[4 weeks, 5 days since beginning of Chapter 3]
Raines age: 16 years, 6 months
Ellies age: 15 years, 3 months
CW: none?
Words: 1920
Masterlist
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Raines POV:
Today is the first day of patrol. Maria was super impressed at the gun range and she gave me a week before doing the real patrol job, just making sure I was ready to be around new people, taking me out to eat and shit.
It's been difficult, but I need to pull my head out of my ass.
I woke up early, 6am, patrol started at 7am, but Maria wanted me to eat beforehand. I brushed out the knots in my hair and brushed my teeth, got dressed, just jeans and a black tanktop, as it was still summertime, and my black canvas shoes.
I swung my bag over my shoulder and equipped my holster around my theigh for my gun.
"Hey Maria" I said in a sleepy voice, rubbing my eyes, making my way into the kitchen where Maria sat at the stool infront the counter.
"Hey, you seem tired. You sure you're still up for it?" she said, sipping something out of a steaming mug.
"Yeah yeah, i'm sure- it's just early"
She nodded, "you want some?" she gestured to her cup, "uh, what is it?"
"Coffee" she smiled proud, "oh, no thanks, never had it. Wouldn't wanna waste any"
"You sure you don't wanna try? It has caffeine in it, get you out of your tired mood"
"Not really, i'll be fine with water."
"Would you rather us go to get breakfast or me make you something?"
"Uh.."
Well I would definitely rather stay here to get food, but I should probably go out to eat so i'm not too overwhelmed with meeting this Jesse guy.
"Let's go out?"
Maria smiled, she gulped down the last splashes of her coffee, placing the now empty mug on the table, "i'm glad you said that"
୨♡୧
After I ate only half my food, since it felt like i was gonna puke if I ate anymore, me and Maria left to go to the stables.
"I'm sorry that I couldn't finish it.." I practically mumbled to her as we walked
"What? No. Don't be. You probably have lots of anxiety right now and i'm proud that you even tried. I'm also very proud that you're going out of your comfort zone to do this job."
I felt confused. Why is Maria so nice to me?
she wouldn't be if she knew the real me.
I stayed quiet. Thinking of how happy her words made me feel and thinking of how much I didn't deserve to feel that happiness.
"Hey" Maria waved to the guy who worked at the stables once we arrived, "We're gonna have you take this guy. We found her injured a few months ago but shes healed since, and fully trained. She's a good girl who was in need of an owner. She doesn't have a name yet either, so feel free to name her. This will be both of you guys first time on patrol" Maria smiled, as she handed me the horses rein.
I nodded, getting up on the horse. "perfect, now just follow me" Maria said softly, I followed next to her slowly riding my horse until we made it to infront the exist, I saw 7 other people on horses. They all looked to range from ages 18-30.
"Sorry for the wait. We got new patrol people, this is Raine" Maria introduced me to everyone, as I shyly waved. It felt weird considering i've been in town for weeks now, and yet I only know about 6 people, 2 of them I dont even know the names of.
"Hey Raine! I'm Jesse" one of the people said, it was the guy closest to me and looked to be the same age as me. His smile was gentle and he seemed nice. Maybe this won't be too bad.
"Hi" I awkwardly said, unsure of what else to say as he already knew my name.
"Great, I hope you two become friends as you'll be working together from now on, that is if everything goes well, but im certain it will."
Maria continued to talk about saftey precautions and which partner group was taking which route, Jesse already had taken this route before from when he had did group patrol, so I was basically just gonna have to follow him.
Once the gate opened, every partner group went separate ways, and it was just me and Jesse.
"So, I heard you came in weeks ago and was in the hospital for awhile. I also heard you got out of it weeks ago, where you've been?" Jesse asked in a curious tone, glancing to the side to look at me for my answer. When I opened my mouth nothing came out, he spoke up before I could make an embarrassing scene. "Sorry, that could be very personal, I dont wanna overstep anything.."
"Uh- no it's fine. I- I was just um.. I mean, I was in a coma? So I was recovering.. from it.. i've been staying at Maria and Tommy's place."
God, I sound so fucking stupid. Also im lying. I've been done recovering, i've just been staring at the wall in bed letting my own thoughts consume me.
"Oh, thats cool. Maria and Tommy are nice dudes."
It was awkward silence since I didn't know how to reply, and by the time I thought of just saying 'yeah' it was too late to reply.
"So what's it like being in a coma? I heard you dream some weird stuff- oh, and when people visited you, could you hear them?"
I softly smiled at his excited banter, he actually felt nice to be around and didn't make me that type of uncomfortable yet.
"Uhh, no weird dreams that I remember. Just was sorta blank. And, I wouldn't know. It's not like anyone vistied me"
"What do you mean? Of course she vi-" Jesse started saying, but stopped talking in the middle of his sentance. I scrunched my brows confused.
"Uhh.. sorry," he let out a dry chuckle, "forgot what I was gonna say"
What the fuck was that about?
I nodded, feeling awkward.
"Uhhhmm. So what made you wanna do patrol?"
Jesse asked, "Oh, just thought i'd be good and could help out."
"Nice.." Jesse nodded looking at me, as I stared down at my horses mane. "same.." he said, stretching out the A.
"Welp, Maria had us take a short route since its our first time and we're young, so.. here we are"
Jesse said, once we made it some office type building.
I didn't say anything, we entered it and Jesse signed us in. "You don't talk much, do you?"
"Guess not."
He nodded, pukering his lips and blowing air out. "Hey, you wanna know a fun fact about me?"
"Uh.. not really?" I asked, confused of why he kept trying to talk to me as we searched the building. "Can I tell you anyway?"
I shrug, not caring.
"Okay, well, my girlfriend, is actually the one that found you. You know, like right before you passed out in that coma."
My eyebrow's scrunched, and my face visibly showed confusion. What is he talking about? Ellie was the one that found me and shes not into gu-
"Dina, is her name"
Oh right. They were in groups.
I nodded, "Nice" I said not knowing how else to respond. "I think you and Dina could be friends. You'll have to meet her one of these days"
"No thanks" I said, cutting him off. He looked at me confused, "Oh- I just meant, i'm not really.. a social person, and meeting you is enough for me.. for awhile.."
His confusion dropped as he understood. "Gotcha. Well, still, it's a small town, you're gonna have to meet her eventually. But yeah, sure, take your time"
The rest of the patrol was boring silence broken up with Jesse throwing in information about himself that I didn't need to know. He even told me his shoe size? He's kinda weird. But definitely better then most, he wasn't being weird to me in that way at all and I feel like I could relax around him.
We finished the job and made it back to Jackson. It only took us a few hours since we had a short and recently cleared route. We didn't run into any infected or anything.
The people at the gates said hello to Jesse and welcomed us back, I figured that they didn't know my name. We rode to the stables, the stables were empty except for the same person working from before, and a black haired girl standing off to the side, looking as if she was waiting for something. She looked odly familiar.
Jesse was infront of me when I heard the girl speak up excitedly, "Jesse! How was it?"
Jesse smiled, "Hey Dina,"
So thats her? Fuck I hope Jesse doesnt try and make me introduce myself.
"It was pretty chill, we had a short route and no trouble. No infected or anything."
Jesse got off his horse and put the horse in its assigned stable, while I did the same. I saw from the corner of my eye Jesse and Dina hugging.
I could feel their eyes on me once they stopped hugging. "Raine? This is Dina"
I took a breath before turning around, "Hi" I mumbled, barley audible. "Hi, it's nice to meet you. I'm glad to see you up!"
Are you though?
I nodded slightly, pressing a fake smile that I thought was convincing when in reality it wasnt at all, and then turned around to leave.
Once I left the stables and was out of their view, I heard Jesse apologizing for my behavior.
Why the fuck do I act like that?
I speed walked to Marias with my head down, feeling my heart pump fast. My cheeks were red from embarrassment.
Once I got to the house, Maria was already in the living room, and was alerted by me slamming the door shut that I was back.
She got off from the couch and ran over to me, "Raine? Whats wrong, did you get hurt? Did you get bit?" Maria asked me in a calm voice, but you could hear panic and worry behind it.
"No- no im fine-" I took a deep breath, feeling my cheeks grow more red from being even more embarrassed, since I was starting to have a hard time breathing over it.
"Well what's wrong? Was it too soon to go out?"
I shook my head, bringing my hands to cover my face, "No, I just- I dont know, I think it was just- alot, for such a short time." I breathed out, pushing past Maria to get water from the kitchen.
"Oh, i'm sorry hun, are you gonna hold off on patrol for awhile, or are you gonna stick with it?"
She asked, following behind me to the kitchen.
"No- I can still do it. Im fine. Tomorrow at the same time?"
She nodded, "Are you sure? How was Jesse? Do you want to switch him for someone else?"
I immediately shook my head no. That would just cause more trouble, and I would have to meet another person.
Before Maria could talk more, I took my water and went to my room.
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laylaackles ¡ 1 year ago
Text
Kiss Me Thru The Phone (Sam Phone Sex)
Warnings: mutual masturbation, phone sex, Y/n works at a sex hotline, Sam calls.
Also, I know nothing about sex hot lines. Someone suggested this, so bare with me.
Y/n was sitting at her desk at work, waiting for the phone to ring.
She always felt kind of dirty and ashamed with her job, but she needed the money. She'd much rather talk to people through the phone than be a hooker.
'Can't get stds through the phone,' she always told herself.
It was getting late, so most of the workers went home.
It was just Y/n and a couple of other girls, but they were far enough away that they wouldn't be able to hear each other's conversations.
Y/n was starting to feel tired and wanted to go home, but her phone began to ring and snap her out of her trance.
The girls were taught to answer the phone in a seductive voice, and they were each told their own greeting.
Y/n put her sexy voice on and picked up the phone.
"Hey, Baby." You greeted.
That was the greeting your boss gave you.
"Um, hey." A shy voice said.
"You okay sugar?" You asked.
You could tell whoever the guy was on the other side was, was nervous.
"Yeah, I've just never done this before, but I'm kinda desperate." He explained.
"What's your name, baby?" You asked.
"Sam." He said.
"Dont tell anyone I told you this, but my name is Y/n."
You knew saying your real name was against the rules, but something about the way he was opening up to you made you want to be honest with him.
"That's a beautiful name." He said.
"Thank you. Is there something I can help you with, Sam?" You smirked to yourself, knowing there was definitely something you could help him with.
"I think you already know." He joked.
You could tell he was sounding a little more confident.
And hot.
He has the hottest voice you've ever heard.
"How do you want me to help?" You asked.
"Talk to me. Tell me what you'd do to me." He said.
"Well, for starters, I'd kiss all over your body. All the way down to your cock."
You could hear a small groan come from the other line.
"Y/n?" He said.
"Yeah?"
"Can I maybe tell you what I'd do to you?" He asked.
"If that's what you want." You said.
"I think I'd be more comfortable if this was a two-way street." He explained.
"Go ahead then. What would you do to me, Sam?" You asked.
"I'd kiss your body. I'd kiss your neck and your chest, and I'd kiss all the way down to your stomach. I'd place one more kiss on your clit." He said.
'Ah, a man that likes to go down.' You thought.
"I'd suck on your tip." You said.
"Mmm fuck." He said.
"You touching yourself, baby?" You asked.
"Yeah, yeah, I am."
"Mind if I do the same?" You asked.
"Fuck, no I don't mind."
You looked up and made sure nobody was around, before carefully sliding your hand into your panties.
"Are you wet for me, Y/n?" He asked.
"So wet, Sam."
"I'd lick your pretty little pussy until you came all over my tongue." He said.
"I'd suck your cock until you were begging me to stop."
"I'd bend you over my lap, and spank you until you begged me to fuck you." He said.
Sam's hand was wrapped around his cock, jerking it up and down.
You have two fingers inside you, pumping in and out, while your thumb rubs your clit.
"I'd beg you to tie me up." You said.
"Baby, you wouldn't have to beg." He said.
"Fuck." You said.
You could feel a coil forming your stomach.
No call has ever gone like this. It was always creepy old men, and you would cringe when talking to them, but something about Sam, has you so turned on.
"Fuck Y/n, I'm so close. Keep talking." He said.
"I'd take every inch of your cock like a good girl. I'd beg you to choke me while you fuck the shit out of me." You said.
"I'd choke you while you cum around my cock." He said.
"God, your voice is so hot." You said.
"I wish I could see you." He said.
"Maybe next time."
The words barely left your lips as you came on your fingers.
Sam could tell by the soft moans you let out that you had cum. He was right there, too.
"I'm gonna cum Y/n." He said.
"Come on, Sam. Cum."
With your words, he came.
Hot sticky drops of cum landed on his thighs and stomach, as he jerked himself through the orgasm. Stopping when he became too sensitive.
"Fuck, that was the best orgasm I've had in months." You said.
"Same here." He laughed.
"Can I give you my number?" You asked.
"Please." He said.
You knew from the caller ID that he lives in Kansas, which is lucky for you. That's where you live, too.
"Next time, call my cell. Maybe we'll facetime." You said.
"I'd like that. Thank you, Y/n." He said.
"Anytime, Sam."
LA<3
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ftmtum ¡ 2 years ago
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The second you asked me to get you pregnant, I couldn't say no. Who would be able to say no after seeing you in this state? Your hands were discontentedly settled over your flat stomach. You needed life within, you needed that. You needed me to give that to you. So I happily obliged.
Maybe I overdid it. Sometimes when I see you, I think I did. When I see your hips or the side of your belly squeeze through door frames. When I see how obscenely knocked up you are. When I notice your bouncing tits, full of milk for our babies. Every morning when you lament about not a single piece of your clothing fitting right. Seeing all this really makes me think I did exactly what you asked of me. I made you massively, unbelievably pregnant. And you can bet I'll be doing it again.
when i waddle out of the bedroom every morning for breakfast, i have to take about a minute or so to squeeze my enormous, spreading hips through the doorframe. before you did such a thorough job of knocking me up, i was less than half as wide as i am now. but my body has been preparing for your huge babies since the second you filled my fertile pussy up with your cum. my ass is so much bigger than before that i've had to trade out my usual pants and shorts for skirts that don't even pretend to cover a single thing. my ass is far too huge for skirts of any length to look like anything other than the tiniest miniskirts on me.
my tits have also swelled up considerably. before i could wear most things and have people never even notice my little breasts, but now.... god, now they're so huge that not a single shirt i own even manages to cover them past my areolas. in most of my shirts that still manage to cover even just my big, milky nipples, i can't lift my arms up — or, really, move much at all — without them fully sloshing out, on full display for everyone around me. they dont manufacture bras that are big enough for how ive gotten, so there's nothing to prevent them from bouncing right out of my shirts. and anyway — even if i could physically get a bra on at this point, my breasts are far, far too sensitive for that. i can even feel them as they slosh around and jiggle with every step i take, dripping milk with each and every bounce.
and of course, my belly. god, i'm so, so, unbelievably gigantic. i havent been able to reach my belly button in nearly a month, and my waddle is so pronounced that the word "waddle" is clearly in no way strong enough. i'm a lot slower, too, since theyre so heavy, so my enormous, taut, gravid belly tends to enter rooms nearly 10 entire seconds before i do. the babies you filled me up so completely with are also relatively active for having such little room, and you can often see a little bit of shifting going on somewhere inside my enormous, gravid womb — true evidence that we created real, actual life together.
god, i am so fucking huge. now when i sit down, my belly reaches nearly to my knees, and i've been looking like i was beyond ready to pop for about a month and a half now. three months ago people started asking how many i was having instead of when i was due. i'm sure, now, that the second i'm done giving birth to these huge, heavy babies, i will make sure that you're already sliding into me ready to fill me up all over again.
i rub my enormous belly, as it forces my legs apart. wow, and to think... i've still got three whole months left until i'm due ;)
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slasherhaven ¡ 4 years ago
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HI, I discover your blog and i really love it. i dont know if youre already done it but could you do how the slasher would react to dreaming about they killed their s/o and wake up finding his s/o peacefully asleep next to them? im pretty curious (and sorry for my english :,3)
The Slashers having a dream were they kill you:
Thomas Hewitt 
It was horrible and he woke up feeling sick.
In the dream you had been terrified of him, pleading with him to let you go, but you didn’t seem to recognise him. He didn’t recognise you either, you were just the next victim in the basement. Just a job. He woke up just as his dream self killed you.
He panicked, suddenly terrified of losing you, needing to see you.
But there you were, where you always were at night, practically laying on his chest, sleeping peacefully. You even had a small smile on your face. Nothing like in the dream.
He didn’t want to wake you, he knew it was just a dream but it had really shaken him. So, he just wrapped his arms around you tighter, holding you close and refusing to let go as he buried his face into your hair.
He loved you so much, he didn’t want you to get hurt, and the thought of being the thing that hurt you killed him inside.
“Tommy, are you alright?” you asked quietly, barely even awake. Still, it made him jump a little, he didn’t mean to wake you.
He just nodded, making you smile to yourself as you cuddled up to him some more, placing a light kiss on his chest before falling back to sleep.
Michael Myers
He hadn’t even realised it was a dream at first, he was stalking a house like he usually did, targeting the person inside. But then he realised that the house was his own, the one he now shared with you, and the victim inside was you. That didn’t seem to stop him though, he found his way into the house, taking you by surprise and driving his knife into your stomach.
You had looked up at him with wide eyes, hands clutching his arms. “Michael?” you sounded scared, betrayed...it wasn’t an image he would soon forget.
But then he woke up, finding himself in your shared bedroom, looking up at the ceiling of the dimly lit room.
It felt so...real...
He sat up and looked down at your place on the bed, finding you sleeping peacefully, unaware of the inner turmoil he was feeling. He did not like this feeling.
Killing somebody had never once left a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach but this did. If he killed you, you would be gone forever, and that was something that unsettled him more than he would like to admit.
You were sleeping deeply, so he luckily didn’t wake you up. He didn’t want to have to explain himself to you if you found him laying back down, shifting closer, and wrapping an arm around you, holding your body closer to his. He focused on your breathing and your warmth.
Maybe he was only just realising it but now, for once, he had something to lose.
Jason Voorhees
The dream was horrible. The scream, the blood, your limp body. You had been so afraid, so afraid of him, and he had killed you mercilessly, something he couldn’t even consider doing in reality. You had screamed before choking as the machete hit you. Jason had lowered you to the ground, your hand raising and leaving a bloody handprint on his mask before falling limp, the light leaving your eyes. You were gone...
And that was when Jason woke up, eyes wide and panicked.
The first thing he did was look for you, reaching out to touch you. Finding you sleeping soundly in his embrace.
You were here, alive and happy. Sleeping by his side, completely unafraid of him.
He didn’t want to wake you, he just wanted to hold you. So, he did. 
He couldn’t help but tear up as he held you. It had all felt so real, for a moment he really thought he had lost you and it was painful, it had broken his heart before he realised that none of it was real. He wouldn’t be able to get that vision out of his head, of him stained in your blood...
You would wake up the next morning held in a tight embrace with Jason’s face buried in your hair, refusing to let you go.
Brahms Heelshire 
In the dream, you had been busy and he was having a tantrum. You tried to shush him while getting on with the work you needed to do, but you kept denying him, ignoring him, telling him to give you a moment. Then you shouted at him. And then there was blood...so much blood. One moment Brahms had stabbed you, the next he was trying to stop the bleeding, begging you to stop. He couldn’t stop it, and he saw you die.
He woke up, shooting up straight in the bed, breathing heavily with tears in his eyes.
He was absolutely panicked. He hadn’t done that right? No, he couldn’t do that!
Frantically looking around, he saw you sleeping beside him, having clearly been disturbed by his sudden movement.
You woke up a little, sleepily asking if he was okay. He swallowed the lump in his throat before laying back down, cuddling up to you, holding you like his own personal teddy bear.
“I’m sorry, Y/n. I wouldn’t ever hurt you. I’ll be good” Brahms promised you, the pain obvious in his voice.
“Of course you wouldn’t, Brahms. You’re a good boy. Why are you saying these things?” you asked but he just buried his face into the crook of your neck. “Bad dream?” you asked and he nodded. You sighed before petting his hair, slowly lulling him back to sleep before joining him.
The next day he would be on his absolute best behaviour, he couldn’t do enough for you. He would also be extra clingy, not letting you out of his sight for a moment.
Bo Sinclair
Bo had his fair share of bad dreams, he just wasn’t very open about them, but you knew. This dream was different though, it wasn’t about his childhood, it was of present day. He was taunting you as you begged him to let you go, promising to do whatever he wanted, asking him why he was doing this. But he only laughed at you, not caring, all before killing you. Watching the life leave your eyes as you reached out to hold onto him, your hand wrapping tightly around his wrist as you feel to the ground.
Bo woke up suddenly with an uncomfortable feeling in his chest. It was a dream, he reminded himself, chastising himself for being so pathetic.
Then he felt you shift beside him, moving closer and getting his attention. Bo looked down at you and slowly felt that feeling in his chest fade, replaced by warmth.
You were alive and well, and sleeping peacefully right beside him.
He wrapped his arm around you, letting you cuddle up to him some more. 
He wasn’t going to wake you up because he didn’t was to share the dream with you, not just yet anyway.
For now, he was quite happy to just lay with you and hopefully get some more sleep.
Vincent Sinclair
Everything had happened so fast in the dream. A new group of victims had come into town and Bo had sent him after them. He did, as he always did, finally catching up to the last victim, stabbing them, killing them. Only then did he realise that it was you, looking up at him in horror, your blood coating his hands.
Vincent woke up breathing heavily, eye wide as he tried to ground himself back in reality.
He instantly looked to you, gradually calming down as he watched your body rise and fall with steady breaths.
He didn’t want to wake you up or disturb you, he just needed some comfort.
He carefully shifted closer to you, wrapping an arm around you and pressing his chest to your back, nuzzling his face against your hair.
He felt a tear threatening to fall and he just allowed it, as long as he was quiet as to not wake you. 
All he wanted right now was to hold you and calm down. Everything would be alright in the morning, he knew that.
Lester Sinclair
Lester had a bad dream every now and again, just like everyone else, but they had mostly stopped since you started sharing a bed with him. Tonight seemed to be an exception. Lester never did the killing, he brought the victims to the brothers. This was no different. He had taken you into town, handed you right over to the twins, even when you begged him not too, both of you knowing what your fate would be. As Bo walked you away, followed by Vincent, you had looked back at Lester, begging him one more time, a look of complete betrayal and heartbreak on your face.
Lester startled awake, breathing heavily and sweating slightly.
His sudden movement woke you up, making you roll over to face him, rubbing your face sleepily. “Lester? You okay?”
“Y-yeah, just a bad dream...you’re okay, right?” Lester assured you, looking over you as if checking for any injuries.
“Of course I am” you frowned slightly, confused by his question. But he seemed to relax then, joining you in bed again.
“Good...good” Lester sighed as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you towards him as he buried his face into the crook of your neck. You just wrapped your arms around him and held him as the two of you fell back to sleep.
Bubba Sawyer 
It had been an accident in the dream. He was chasing down an intruder, chasing them through the house, nothing too new. He thought that he had caught up with them, dealing with them using his chainsaw...but once the chaos was over, he saw you laying on the floor, your blood pooling around you.
Bubba woke up, instantly panicked and searching for you. But he found you sleeping with a content smile on your face right beside him.
He quickly moved closer, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you against his chest in a tight embrace.
The movement woke you up but you knew it was Bubba so you just happily moved closer and cuddled into him.
“You okay, Bubs?” you asked and he nodded, letting out a few concerned coos. “Bad dream?” he nodded again.
You lifted your head, kissing his cheek, silently assuring him that everything was alright, before cuddling up to him again. Falling asleep in his arms.
Billy Lenz
Bad dreams weren’t new to Billy but this one was. He was walking through the house and he had a knife in his hand, he had a destination in him, a victim was waiting for him. He slowly pushed the bedroom door open before stepping in, the slither of light illuminating your sleeping face. He moved over to you, raising the blade above his head before forcing it down into your chest. 
Then he woke up with a gasp, eyes wide and frantic as he sat up.
The suddenness waking you up slightly. You asked if he was alright, altering him that you were alright.
“Bad dream” Billy murmured as he returned to you, tangling his limps with yours and clinging to you. “Billy wouldn’t hurt you. Billy loves you” he mumbled.
“Did you hurt me in the dream?” you asked softly and he hesitantly nodded. “It’s okay, Billy. I know you wouldn’t hurt me in real life. I love you too” you kissed the top of his head, feeling him hold onto you a little tighter before trying to get some more sleep, you joining him. 
Asa Emory (The Collector)
For Asa, bad dreams usually related to his childhood, not anything from his present life. Sometimes he would dream about his crimes but he wouldn’t call them bad dreams, he was very neutral on them. This...even he couldn’t feel neutral about what he was dreaming about right now. Of hurting you, not even making it quick, drawing your pain out before finally doing you the mercy of killing you.
As soon as he wakes up, he steadies his breathing and focuses himself. 
It was a dream, nothing more. 
But that didn’t change the sense of contentment he felt when he looked down to see you sleeping, arm around his waist and head on his chest. A perfect reminder that it really was just a dream, that you were still here, and he wasn’t going to hurt you.
He wrapped his arm around you some more, just holding you more securely without waking you up. He wasn’t going to discuss this with you, not right now anyway.
Jesse Cromeans (Chromeskull) 
In the dream, it was like you were just another victim. He had subdued you but you were still away, tears staining your face as you pleaded with him to show mercy. He just took the camera off of his shoulder and zoomed in on your terrified face, he was enjoying it. He soon put the camera back in place before pulling out his knife.
Your piercing scream of agony rang through his mind as he woke up, greeted by the ceiling of his bedroom.
He turned his head to the side, seeing you sleeping beside him. Perfectly well and unharmed, your arm resting over his waist.
You were alright, you were safe. He would never hurt you.
Jesse wrapped his arm around you, gently pulling you closer to him.
It was just a dream, he was well aware of that, and knew not to let it effect him too much. Still, the thought of hurting you made him cringe. 
That would never happen, he would protect you, he promised himself that.
Otis Driftwood 
It was a violent dream that unsettled him more than he cared to admit. Just him carrying out his true nature but on you instead of a victim he couldn’t care less about. You had cried, pleaded, tried to get through to him, but he didn’t stop, he didn’t care. And then, you were dead. He had killed you, your blood staining his hands and clothes.
Otis is pretty used to disturbing dreams, they rarely bothered him, but this one definitely did.
He woke up, instantly focusing on you. How your head was resting on his chest and your legs was draped over his hips. Very much alive, not a spot of blood on you, perfectly content.
He never thought that somebody outside of the family could have such an effect on him. That somebody’s loss could...scare him so much.
His arm remained around you as he made himself more comfortable, causing you to shift closer as well, letting out a quiet, sleepy hum.
He pressed a kiss to the top of your head, nearly chastising the fond feeling he felt when you smiled in your sleep.
Baby Firefly 
Gory dreams never bothered her, they couldn’t be any worse than reality, in fact she wouldn’t consider them nightmares at all. This though, this was certainly a nightmare. You were bleeding, crying, and in pain, but she was just giggling, being the person hurting you. And, just like that, you were dead and her giggling stopped, a look of worry spreading over her face.
She woke up, running a hand over her face and brushing off the dream. It was just a dream, you were alright.
There you were, sleeping right beside her. She knew that, she was looking at you.
Still, she shifted into a more comfortable position, brushing your hair out of your face and beginning to scatter kisses over your face.
She wasn’t going to mention the dream right now, it was silly. She just wanted to hear you wake up giggling at her playful attack.
Yautja (Predator) 
Dreams weren’t all that common for him, at least not like this one. Even in teh dream it was an accident, him forgetting how fragile you were compared to Yautjas. And it cost him everything.
He woke up just as you died in the dream, leaving him with a sickening feeling.
But when he felt you shift, making him relax.
You were curled up on his chest, sleeping peacefully, just like you did every night.
He purred soothingly as he gently combed his clawed fingers through your hair, purring some more when you smiled and nuzzled into him.
You trusted him. Trusted that he wouldn’t hurt you, that he wouldn’t let anything like that dream happen. He just had to trust himself, and he could do that.
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sunarc ¡ 4 years ago
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Size Kink
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CHARACTERS: Ushijima +Matsukawa + Sakusa
TW: Overstimulation, Degrading like a lot, Dumification
Notes: Ahhh I loved writing this. This is my idea of how the Horse cock gang would have sex with you. I was going to include Suna but it started getting alittle long lol but if this does well enough I'll do a part 2 with him:) enjoyyy
Part 1|| Part 2
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Ushijima
•Doesn’t even understand how big he is
•He’s fucking you like it’s his job
•Don’t have plans the next day because you won’t be able to walk
•He’s definitely going to overstimulate you
•He has so much power over you and doesn’t even know it
Your legs are a shaking wet mess . He has you taking him from behind, your back pushed up against his chest. He’s fucking into you, pulling your hair so that your neck is exposed for him to suck bruises onto you. One of your hands grips the hand pulling your hair while the other holds onto his arm that is pushed onto the wall in front of you for support. He’s so big and you feel like you’re about to split into two but you’re begging him to keep going
“Don’t stop please don’t stop” you beg as he rams his huge cock into.
He’s slamming into you nonstop.
“You’re taking me so well, baby” he groans into your neck.
You’re so close to your third orgasm, Ushijima has such stamina you don’t understand how he’s still going strong as if you’ve just started.
He lets go of your hair to look down at where his cock is fucking into you and grabs your hips to better push himself in. He’s watching as you cream all over his cock.
“You’re so hot creaming all over me” he said gripping even harder on your hips.
You’re a moaning mess holding onto his wrist trying to find balance.
“Please” you moan out
“What do you need baby”
“I’m gonna c-cum”
“Not yet”
He pulls out and turns you around you almost fall from the small absence of him pounding into you. He grabs your thighs and pins you against the wall and begins fucking into you again at a faster pace.You’re screaming out his name scratching his back as you hold on for grip.
“You wanna cum?” he’s whispering into your ear and his voice almost pushes you over the edge
“S-so bad please!” you slur out.
You didn’t think it was possible but he fucks harder into you and you feel your orgasm wash over you as you babble nonsense words that sounds like Ushijima name and begging. Ushijima isn’t far behind you as he pulls out and has you get on your knees for him. You open your mouth and his cock is immediately down your throat. He’s so big you know your voice is going to be gone . He cums down your throat with a few strokes. He pulls out and drips of cum and your spit follows leaking onto your bottom lip. He pulls you up to kiss him
“You did so well darling” he says as he carries you to the shower. He hopes you have enough energy for a round two.
Matsukawa
•Knows how big he is and uses it to his advantage
•Likes to see you cumming when he’s barely even put it in
•horse cock mattsun
•His mouth is so filthy it should be a sin
Matsukawa is sinister. He has you bent over the kitchen table, Panties at your ankles making a puddle on the floor. He has his cock rubbing up against your entrance shoving the tip in only to pull it back out to watch you clench onto air. He’s chuckling at your groans of frustration and
slapping your ass making you moan out
“Please Issei just fuck me already” you beg pushing your ass back onto him.
He’s rubbing your ass cheeks spreading them apart
“Only because you asked so nicely.” and with that he’s pounding into you not even giving you time to adjust to his cock. You moan out gripping onto the edge of the table.
“Look at you” he says digging his fingertips into your hips “ Look how wet you are, does it turn you on getting fucked where we eat dinner?” he says, grabbing your hair to whisper in your ear. You’re already so fucked out of your mind from how big he is you can barely give a real reply.
“Such a fucking whore taking me like this… you love this dont you”
He lifts one of your legs, placing it on the table allowing for better access. He pushes you down onto the table and grabs your hip to fuck you harder. You moan out incoherent words as you grip onto his hand that’s wrapped around your waist.
“What was that baby? I don’t think i heard you”
“F-fuck Issei” you scream out and he slams harder into you.
“Such a foul mouth you have. But then again whores don’t have manners do they?”
He’s fucking into you like there’s no tomorrow head leaning back groaning your name. You’re a wet creaming mess dripping on his cock. You wouldn’t be able to walk past this table without the memory of Matsukawa fucking you making you a cumming mess. Your mind would be filled with filthy thoughts of how loud he’s making you moan. Matsukawa lifts your head up from the table to lean against his chest. He was still pounding his cock into you as you scream  out . He shoves two fingers into your mouth and you immediately begin to suck them.
“Fuck you look so good right now baby” he chuckles out “ But you’d look even better cumming on my cock” he groans voice deeper and  so close to your ear. Your legs are shaking so much and it only fuels Matsukawa to go faster and harder.
“Go ahead and cum… I know you’re close.”
He was right he knew your body so well. You cum so hard on his cock mouth still sucking on his fingers muffling your loud moans giving him exactly what he wants. He slows his pace chuckling at you. Matsukawa isn’t done with his pretty little whore yet so don’t get too comfortable.
Sakusa
•Another horse cock
•Kind of mean but it’s hot
•Degrades you for cumming on his cock so soon when he’s barely even started
Sakusa has you holding your legs as they’re pushed to your chest. He’s looking you dead in your eyes as you're crying from pleasure and pain. He’s so big and he knows he is . He has you fucked out of your mind already and he’s barely even started. He’s sliding into you watching as your legs shaking and eyes roll back.
“You can barely even take me. I haven’t even started yet and you’re a fucking mess.”
He finally bottoms out in you and your holding your breath trying to hide the loud moans that desperately want to escape. Sakusa runs his fingers over where his cock stops inside of you and smirks. He pulls back out completely and you let go of the breath you had been hold turning to look away whimpering.
“Please Omi I need you so bad”
“I’ll start when I’m ready” He says ignoring your pleading.
“So desperate” He says a small smirk on his lips “ So desperate to be fucked by a big cock huh?” he questions you and before you can answer he’s pushing himself fully back into you making you forget the words at the tip of your tongue.
“I asked you a question.” He says as he pulls right back out.
“Are you that desperate to be fucked you forget your words?”
You look up at him desperate eyes pleading
“Please” you whimper out.
He pushed back in and begins fucking you hard. You immediately moan out his name. He’s fucking you so hard you have to hold yourself back from cumming. You turn to a pillow that sits beside you moaning into it and immediately Sakusa snatching the pillow away.
“I want to hear you moan” is all he says as he fucks you harder.
He’s smiling down at how wrecked you are. He can fuck you dumb so easily . A few strokes and you’re falling apart on his cock moaning his name tears streaming down your face begging him for more.
“Please fuck agh” you moan out
“You can’t even form a coherent sentence you’re so fucked out.”
You lay stuck blissed out getting fucked into the bed moaning at each stroke.
“You’re gonna cum on my cock as many times as I want and we’re not stopping until I'm done.” Sakusa’s stamina was amazing if he wanted to he could go until the sunrise.
He slows down his pace and begins to angle his cock so it hits all the right spots. You’re having a leg shaking toe curling orgasm tears flowing freely as you cum screaming his name. Sakusa isn’t done yet. He has a goal to have you creaming, shaking and rambling dumbly. He’s not stopping until he gets what he wants.
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a-small-batch-of-dragons ¡ 3 years ago
Text
Black
Prompts: After POF, Roman takes over the abandoned color black. He becomes the hated side that Virgil used to be. By most, anyway. Janus and Virgil are concered. Patton chooses to ignore it. Romans room is really cold? and boy is he touch starved - anon
(Sanders sides Prompt) Any one of the sides is touch starved. fluff. (You dont have to do this just thought I might ask) - anon
Hello there!! I just wanna say that I love your work and I think you’re such a talented writer. Idk if this is a weird ask but would you consider writing Roman angst with the song “it’s OK I wouldn’t remember me either�� by crywank as like inspiration? Thank you so much <3 -anon
buckel up babes this one's a doozy
Read on Ao3
Warnings: implied/reference self-harm by way of self-negligence, pretty intense self-hatred and neglect that could verge on suicidal, but NO ONE DIES, everyone's fine at the end, we don't break shit and not fix it in my house
Pairings: it is platonic found family hours
Word Count: 5697
Do you know what no one ever tells you about the color black?
It’s seamless.
There are no cracks, no tears, no imperfections, because everything’s so dark you can’t tell what’s a trick of the light and what isn’t. Everything blends together. At first, second, even third glance, it’s perfect. Pristine, even. It hides absolutely everything. It’s intimidating, honestly, that level of deception. The way it can make anything look like it’s meant to be there, as if to live the colorless and lightless life is all it was ever destined for.
Darkness has always found a way of feeling like home, even to the ones who are afraid of it.
You either die the hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.
Roman hadn’t wanted to go to the wedding. He didn’t want to go, but it’s what Patton wanted. It’s what Thomas would’ve wanted. If Roman hadn’t been so loud. But it hurt, it did, when they said that they shouldn’t go to the callback because there was such a slim likelihood of Thomas winning. Because Roman couldn’t win. But Roman wasn’t supposed to be the villain and do something bad so he sent Thomas to the wedding.
Bruises were supposed to be yellow, or green, or purple, not black.
But if he had yellow, green, or purple bruises, he would’ve blamed a yellow, green, or purple Side. And that was bad.
So he hid them, because as he learned, no one was looking for them anyway. Patton cared when he didn’t show up to the video and then he was there and oh, having someone there, even if they only cared a little, was like rainfall in a desert, it was wonderful, Roman would’ve sung if he thought it wouldn’t make everything worse. But Roman was good, so he never complained, and he did his job to the best of his ability.
But what if his job was bad?
But there are two Creativities, a Roman and a Remus. And no one else liked Remus, because Remus was bad and Roman was good. But Remus isn’t bad, he’s just the opposite of Roman. And Roman didn’t want to be Remus because Remus was bad. But Remus isn’t bad.
Creativity isn’t bad.
Bruises aren’t supposed to be black but they can’t be red.
Roman isn’t supposed to be the villain but what else do you call someone who laughs at vulnerability, who scorns people’s earnest attempts to help, who single-handedly ruins someone’s life?
Roman isn’t supposed to be the villain, but bruises aren’t supposed to cover every inch of his skin unless he deserves it.
His skin burns. It crawls and aches and screams and darkens into bruises. His throat aches from the wordless screams and the horrible things he’s said to everyone. He’s been so selfish, he’s tried to make everything go his way, tried to make it about him, not about Thomas, because everything they do is supposed to help Thomas, help Thomas, that’s what they’re supposed to do, they’re supposed to help Thomas, not themselves, why is he doing this, why is he doing this?
Because he’s the villain.
Roman cries.
What else is he supposed to do?
He cries until the tears grow thick, sluggish, oozing out of his eyes until he can’t see anything but them, until his breath grows thick and his chest heavy. He cries until he has to struggle to open his eyes because of how swollen they are, how globulous the tears have become on the ends of his lashes. He cries until his head splits and his chest wails from the pain he isn’t supposed to have but deserves, deserves every little bit. He cries until his body is consumed by the bruises.
His costume is a straightjacket. He needs it off. The white hurts now, it burns his arms and cuffs his wrists. He doesn’t deserve it so he rips it off. Every seam that he ruins is another bruise. The rips are so loud they burrow into some soft part of his brain and live there. The white is still imperfect because it’s on him.
Only when his costume lies in tatters around him, his sash torn off and thrown away, far away, does the white look pure.
He cries himself to sleep with a smile on his face.
Far, far away, a black hoodie is tugged back into the Conscious Mindscape.
When Roman wakes, his head is full of static.
His lungs inflate and collapse on autopilot, driven by the merciless pump of some distant machine, turning the crank to draw air in and out, in and out.
His hands are numb, fingertips rubbed raw and inflamed from tearing relentlessly at fabric. He turns them slowly and it’s like watching himself in a video game.
His face is cold. He paws at his cheeks and feels sticky residue, etched into his skin. His eyes stick slightly when he blinks and he doesn’t know if that’s just his face or if there’s something else.
He is swathed in black fabric, an old threadbare hoodie that has gone years unloved, untouched, unseen. It’s selfishness that makes him tug it closer, feel a faint bubble of pressure on his screaming body.
He should get up, he should go make sure he hasn’t hurt anyone else with his tantrum again, he should apologize.
But…what would be the point?
Like Patton asked, does there come a point when someone keeps apologizing so much that you just have to admit they’re bad?
Roman isn’t good. Has he ever been?
Something interrupts the pleasant numbness and it shoots from his chest to the soft points at the base of his wrists, making his hands tingle. He decides he doesn’t like it. He doesn’t want it. He wants everything to stop.
He’s selfish, they all know that, he’s just going to end up hurting them anyway, so why bother trying to fix it?
Apathy, his tired brain supplies when he lies there, unmoving, on the ground, for hours and hours and hours, unwilling and uncaring to fix things.
But that can’t be right. Roman is here because he cared too much, he did too much, he was too much. How can he now be the epitome of not caring at all?
If only he never cared, if only he wasn’t so attached, if only.
If only he had been Apathy, maybe he wouldn’t have been so hurt.
His pride got him here. His pride, his wants, his his his. He wanted everything and burned down the things that would’ve helped him get there because he couldn’t do it right. He is the villain and villains always have too much pride.
Pride. Apathy.
Prapathy.
Apride.
I’m not Creativity anymore, he thinks to himself as he lies there, still on the floor as his chest aches and his eyes sting and the sticky residue drips down his cheeks onto the bruises. He stares and stares and stares at the wall and a faint part of his mind that exists outside of the static realizes he never did get around to fixing that crack in the baseboard.
Pride, apathy. It doesn’t matter. There’s a much easier word that he can use to describe both of them.
Wrong.
—————————————————————
“I don’t know, Thomas,” Logan sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I don’t think that’s a valid solution either.”
“But it makes sense,” Virgil protests, shoving his hands into his pockets, “all we have to do is not talk to anybody else—“
“But that will hurt their feelings!”
“But we won’t hurt ourselves.”
Janus and Patton look at each other for a moment before Patton sighs and scratches the back of his head.
“I—I don’t know, this…this feels weird.”
“None of us are happy about this, Padre,” Virgil mutters, “but it’s the best solution we’ve got.”
“Real high bar we’re setting there, isn’t it?”
“Listen, Snake Face, if you’ve got a better idea—“
“Virgil, enough.” Logan shakes his head. “We need to keep thinking.”
“We’ve been at this for an hour, Logan,” Thomas says cautiously, “I don’t know what else you think we’re gonna get to.”
“We’ve already passed the optimal point for productivity, yes.”
“Oh, well, we can’t just give up now!” Patton puts his hands on his hips. “I’m sure if we just keep at it for a little longer—“
“You said that half an hour ago, Patton.”
“And I’ll say it again!”
“Because that’s going to make everything go much easier.”
Thomas sighs as the Sides fall back into bickering. Normally, this wouldn’t be anything out of the ordinary—pretty much all they do is argue back and forth—but Logan’s right. They’ve made almost no progress. He finds himself staring at the TV.
Why is he staring at the TV?
He frowns, tilting his head. It’s literally just his TV. Why is he so fixated on it right now? It’s not like it’s gone anywhere, it’s sitting right where it always is. He stares at it most of the day, why is it so weird that he’s looking at it now?
Wait—
“Guys,” he interrupts, still staring at the thing he’s not supposed to be able to see like this, “where’s Roman?”
The room pauses. Then Logan sighs.
“Oh, of course, that’s why we’ve been having such a hard time coming up with solutions, we don’t have Roman.”
At Virgil’s side-eye, he glances around to see similar looks of disbelief on the other’s faces.
“What?”
“Did you…did you just admit we need Roman?”
“He is Creativity, it makes sense that if we are struggling to be creative, he isn’t here.”
“Okay, that makes more sense.” Virgil shakes his head. “Thought you were admitting he was important or something.”
“Please, his head is big enough as it is.”
Janus hides a snort.
“Why didn’t he show up earlier,” Thomas asks, “he’s normally one of the first of you to get here.”
Virgil shrugs. “I dunno, I haven’t seen that much of him lately.”
“Is he…okay?”
“Who the hell knows, he’s Roman.”
“My guess is he’s been in his room,” Logan says, glancing at Roman’s usual spot, “I haven’t seen him either.”
Thomas doesn’t miss the way Janus and Patton glance at each other. “If you two have information now might be the time to share it.”
“Roman…hasn’t come out of his room,” Patton says after a beat, “not since…”
“Wait, he hasn’t come out since the wedding?”
Janus shakes his head. “I’ve barely seen him open his door.”
“That doesn’t…normally happen, does it?”
“No,” Patton says, “and, uh, he doesn’t normally ignore us either.”
“Ignore you?”
“We’ve tried knocking. It doesn’t work.”
“Perhaps Thomas can summon him,” Logan offers, “you have more power than any of us do, he’d have to answer you.”
“Well, here goes nothing. Creativity!”
Someone pops up in front of the TV.
Someone in a white costume with green embellishments and a mustache.
“Remus?”
Remus glares at them, his Morningstar at his side, his costume white, pristine, and light.
“What the fuck have you done with my brother?”
—————————————————————
It’s been weeks.
The fans have accepted Remus as Creativity. They think that the videos are better than ever. They think this was Thomas’s plan from the beginning.
There is one end card where the Sides are watching a movie and some of them spot a dark figure in the corner. Who could this be? Is this the mysterious orange Side everyone has been waiting for? Is this the Side that’s been hurting Thomas so much?
Zoom and enhance. It’s Virgil’s old hoodie. They’re sitting where Remus used to sit. They’re not staring at the screen, they’re looking at the others. What could this mean?
Someone spots the faint outline of a tiny crown perched atop the figure’s head.
And then, well, then it all makes sense.
There was always one Side that messed up everything, that made everything more complicated. There was always one Side that, if you thought about it, you could trace everything back to. There was always one Side that was told he was making the bad choice and yet, never seemed to learn.
They start to put together timelines, evidence, essay-length meta posts on how of course, this is the plan, why didn’t they see it before? Those that had disliked him from the start crow about how they were right, how everyone doubted them but look who’s laughing now. They point out how he’s become a Dark Side, maybe he was always a Dark Side, and how incredible would that storytelling be? To warn against the pressures of society’s expectations, the idea of good versus bad, or authentic versus forced. How of course, they’re wearing Virgil’s old hoodie because they’re the hated Side now. How they’re not looking at the screen because that’s not what they want, they want to be a part of the famILY.
Vitriolic rants. Accusations. Vent fics. The unsympathetic tag is overflowing.
Because who else could the villain be?
—————————————————————
Roman lives in the cold now.
His fireplace isn’t lit anymore. The door to the Imagination doesn’t work anymore. The blankets on his bed aren’t thick enough anymore. He drifts through a haze where only the emergency systems in his brain are online, where only the awareness needed to sleep, breathe, and move the little bits he needs to move are present.
He doesn’t know that there’s nothing behind the red door anymore, that when Janus and Virgil come to knock on it, worried, or when Remus storms through the Imagination and tries to knock it down by force, there’s nothing for them to find.
He doesn’t know that a new door, a black door, leads from his room to the hallway, far away from any of the other rooms. He doesn’t know that it’s so dark back here that no one would be able to tell there was a door if they didn’t put their nose right up against it.
He doesn’t know and he doesn’t care.
A new kind of ache settles in his bones now. Pain is an old friend, but he’s yet to give suffering a proper handshake.
He misses when he could go and ask someone for help.
He misses when Patton would turn to him without any judgment in his eyes, without any ‘well, you know, kiddo—‘, without any ‘let’s start off with—‘, just the soft words of I’m here, I’ll help you. He misses being able to walk up to Patton’s door and knock on it and know that he would be safe on the other side.
Patton would open the door and soften, his mouth curling up into a small smile as he says hey, kiddo, come in. He would sit Roman down on the bed and press a glass of water into his hands. He would rub his back as he drank, taking the empty glass gently and cupping Roman’s face in his hands. He would ask what’s wrong, sweetheart, what can I do? And Roman would say he just wants a hug, he just wants to not be alone for a bit. And Patton would smile and coo about how Roman was always welcome here, sweetheart, I’m right here, I’ll take care of you. And Roman could fall asleep with his head on Patton’s chest and believe that everything was okay.
He misses when he could walk up to Logan and ask for help and he wouldn’t be scoffed at or turned away, he wouldn’t be looked at suspiciously and asked what he really wanted. He misses when Logan could come to him too and just spend time together.
Logan would knock on his door and ask if you have a moment, would you like to walk with me? And Roman would smile and say, of course, he always has time for Logan, and they could go somewhere in the Imagination and just talk. And Logan would say that’s an interesting idea, I wonder if—and they would walk and talk for hours. And Roman could bustle up to Logan’s door and say I’ve just thought of something, and Logan would open his door and be happy to talk with Roman and it would be okay.
Roman curls up tighter and feels nothing.
He wishes he could have something to miss for Virgil. He wishes they could have bonded over their love of Disney, their want to talk about the things they’re interested in, or even the need to just have someone else in the room with them for a bit. He wishes their relationship wasn’t just spitting barbs at each other, each hoping to hit the bullseye first and knock the other one out of the race. He wishes he could’ve done better.
He wishes he could have something to miss for Janus. He wishes they could’ve done this right, that they could’ve bonded over the want to keep Thomas safe but also have him be himself. He wishes that he hadn’t laughed, hadn’t scorned, hadn’t fallen back on his pride to keep himself safe at the expense of Thomas. He wishes that maybe, just maybe, if he had been a better puppet, then he wouldn’t have been dropped so suddenly.
But as it stands now, more than anything he wishes he could hear them when they say the things they say about him because then he could figure out which bruises were theirs and take comfort in knowing that they still touch him in some way.
The bruises are a constant now. From the online hate to the casual remarks from the others to the way that Patton hasn’t even tried to come find him anymore—he can hear that, you know—he can’t turn over without landing on a new smattering of bruises. The hoodie helps to cushion the blow a little bit.
He misses Remus.
Remus was…
…Remus was everything.
Roman misses his other half. Roman misses his brother. Roman misses his Creativity.
When they were small they would curl around each other as if they could fuse if they focused hard enough. They would wrap their arms around each other so tightly that it would be a pleasant ache when they woke, never minding because they were tighter. Remus was always so warm and Roman hoarded every single bit he could get.
Roman was cruel to push his brother away and now he understands how it feels.
He misses Thomas.
He misses when he was allowed to go and see Thomas. When he could talk to Thomas. When his presence was celebrated or at the very least, tolerated. He misses it. He misses helping.
But he’s helping now, by staying away.
He’s cold.
He’s so cold.
—————————————————————
do you remember what it felt like
to be touched?
press of fingertips against shoulders
bump of a forehead against yours
palms meeting and parting a mere second later
in days gone by
do you remember
warm?
humans thrive off physical contact,
we’re not built to hold each other
at arms’ length.
infants will die
if they aren’t held enough.
and I am so
so
cold
—————————————————————
Something is wrong and even Patton can’t ignore it anymore.
The Sides shuffle uneasily in front of the red door until Remus raises his hand to knock against it.
“Roman?”
Silence.
“Roman, please, please, just—just say something.”
Silence.
“Where the fuck are you, Roman?”
“Don’t yell,” Logan mumbles, “you’ll make him think we’re angry at him.”
Remus takes a deep breath.
“We’re not angry, Ro-bro, we’re just—just please make some noise.”
Silence.
“…we’re coming in, Roman.”
But they can’t. Because as Remus turns the knob on the door, it falls forward. The entire door comes off just to reveal—
A blank wall. With no sign that there was ever a room behind it.
Thomas can hear the scream.
—————————————————————
Roman hears the scream and can’t move. But he can close his eyes and reach out and see what’s going on. After all, he hasn’t done anything, so something must be wrong if someone else is screaming.
He feels something in his chest twist and snap.
“Re?”
Across the Mindscape, Remus’s head jerks up.
“Ro,” he breathes, getting to his feet and rushing off down the hall as the others hurry after him, “Ro!”
“Remus, what’s going on?”
“Why isn’t Roman’s room there anymore?”
“Where are you going?”
They barrel into the hallway and smack into a black door. Logan’s eyes widen as he realizes what’s happened.
“Roman’s become a Dark Side,” he says, fingers scrabbling where the door meets the wall, “he’s—he’s really hurt, we have to help—“
“Move, L, I’m gonna break the door down.”
“You’re not gonna do it without me.”
“Roman!”
Roman turns his head to look at the door. Are they…here? The hoodie rasps against his undead skin and he winces. There are still bruises.
“Roman!”
The door shudders its frame. He could open it. He could. He just has to reach out and—
“Ro!”
Remus.
The door unlatches and his brother pours into the room, letting out a wail when he spots Roman in the bed.
Janus hisses as soon as he crosses the threshold, this room is freezing. It feels as if no one’s moved for years inside, as if the heat has been sucked out entirely. His gaze flies to Remus, who’s over on the bed, his hands scrabbling at something in black material.
Roman.
“Oh, little prince,” he whispers, horrified, “no, no, no—“
“We have to get him out,” Logan orders, startling Remus into action as he scoops Roman into his arms, “we have to get him warm. His core temperature is too low.”
“Shower? Bath?”
“No, if we shock his system we could make it worse. Janus, I need your heating pads, Patton, something warm to drink.”
Janus and Patton vanish.
“Virgil, weighted blankets, Remus—“
“I’m here.” As Virgil ducks away as well, Remus helps Logan cradle the limp and freezing form of his brother in their arms as they begin to rush out of that horrible, horrible room. “You thinking bathroom?”
“Get him to Janus’s, that’ll be the safest place.”
“Got it.”
Sure enough, Janus has no objection and sweeps them inside, setting down the heating pads as Patton bustles in with two thermos flasks and a mug. Virgil pops back with thick blankets as they lay the cold form on the ground. Roman’s eyes blink sluggishly as he stares up at Remus.
“...Re?”
“Yeah, Roro, it’s me, I’m right here, I’m so sorry I wasn’t here faster.”
“What’s…wha’s going on?”
“You’re too cold, Roman,” Logan says gently, “we need to get you warmed up.”
“Oh…”
“It will be easier if we take a few of the layers off,” he explains, still careful to keep his voice low and even as the others scurry around, “is that alright?”
“Okay.”
“I’m going to unzip the hoodie.” Logan works slowly, patiently, stopping when any flicker crosses Roman’s face. “That’s it, you’re doing very well, I’m almost done.”
By the time he’s coaxed the hoodie off of Roman’s shoulders, there’s a little bit of color back in his cheeks.
“Very good, Roman, you did well. Virgil’s brought a few warm blankets and Janus has heating pads for you, do you think you can sit up?”
“Don’t know.”
“That’s alright, you’re doing alright.” Logan glances up at Janus.
“Little prince,” Janus murmurs, sitting by Roman’s head, “if you can sit up, I can sit behind you and help warm you up, does that sound alright?”
“Okay.”
“Thank you, sweetie, we’re going to sit you up now.”
Logan and Janus sit Roman up slowly, only to pause when the long sleeves of his shirt fall down.
“Roman,” Logan asks, trying frantically to keep his voice calm, “are you hurt?”
“Mhm.”
He bites back the fearful response and patiently asks where, how bad, can he see?
“Everywhere.” Roman lifts his arms weakly. “’S all bruises.”
“…can we see?”
“Okay.”
Logan’s hands begin to tremble as he works the shirt over Roman’s head. He wasn’t kidding when he said everywhere.
There’s barely an inch of skin that doesn’t look bruised black and blue. Patton stifles a cry as he drops to his knees next to them, looking at Roman like he’s never seen it this bad before.
Oh, Roman, how did they not know? How could he just ignore him like that?
“Get him covered,” comes Virgil’s voice, “he’s still too cold.”
Janus grabs one of the blankets and wraps it carefully around Roman’s form. It should help distribute whatever pressure they apply so it won’t aggravate his injuries too severely. He takes one heating pad and scoots forward, bracketing Roman’s legs with his own and wrapping one pair of arms around him to press the pad to his chest.
“Can you feel that, sweetie,” he asks softly, “is that too warm?”
“No.”
“Good, good, little prince, you’re being very brave.” He turns away to reach for another and so misses the little shudder that goes through Roman. “Do you think you can handle another if I press it to the back of your neck?”
“Mm.”
“Let’s try, little prince, and if it’s too much, I’ll stop.”
“Okay.”
“Here we go, sweetie—“ Janus presses it carefully to the base of Roman’s skull, just at the edge of the blanket— “there, does that feel okay?”
“Mm.”
“Good, sweetie, you’re doing so well, so good for us, that’s it, you relax now.”
Roman starts to tremble.
“That’s alright,” Logan soothes, “you’re warming up, it means you’re going to shiver a little more, you’re alright, Roman, you’re safe. You’re doing well.”
It certainly doesn’t seem that way once Roman’s breath starts to come in gasps. Virgil nudges Patton out of the way and sits, gently calling Roman’s name until his gaze snaps to Virgil’s.
“Hey, Princey,” Virgil says slowly, “you gotta stay with me now, okay? We’re right here, no one’s angry, nothing’s going to hurt you. Just focus on me.”
He ignores the startled noises when Roman starts to cry thick, black tears.
“Eyes on me, Princey, that’s it, stay here. We’re just gonna sit here and breathe for a moment, okay?” Roman nods and Virgil starts to take big, exaggerated breaths. “Good. That’s it, Princey, you focus on me and you breathe. It’s okay. You’re doing great. Just stay here.”
When the viscous black liquid slows, Virgil reaches out and begins to tuck Roman’s hair back. A moment longer and he pauses, noting how the scratch on Roman’s face is covered in the thick black tears.
“Princey, can I clean your face off for you? You’re doing really well at breathing, I’m proud of you. Can I help you with the rest of it?”
“O-okay.”
There’s a bottle of micellar water and a pack of cotton circles pressed into his hands. He moves in slow, careful strokes, changing out the circles as often as he needs to. A pile of them grows beside him as he works, doing his best to get all the black off of Roman’s face. Roman just cries.
“It’s alright, sweetheart,” Patton murmurs when Roman’s cry gives way to a wail, “it’s okay, you cry all you need to, we’re not going anywhere, it’ll be alright.”
“We have you, sweetie,” Janus says against Roman’s neck, “we’re here.”
Remus lets out a broken noise.
“Oh, Roman, you didn’t…”
Logan’s head whips sharply around to scold Remus only for his mouth to fall open in shock.
Remus’s costume is bleeding too. The same black that drips down Roman’s face is slowly coloring Remus’s costume again, back to what it normally looks like. Remus’s mouth is agape, staring horrified at Roman.
“Oh, Ro—“
“What’s going on?”
“Check the bruises on his neck,” Remus orders as Janus pulls back the blanket, “are they still there?”
“They’re here, but they’re…lighter, how is that—?”
“Roman is the Ego,” Patton mumbles, “he gets bruised when—when—“
“Oh, shit,” Virgil curses, before quickly hushing Roman’s discontented mumble, “and with all the hate that’s been gunning for him—“
“Oh, sweetheart—“
Roman lets out another sob and the tears run clear.
“The Ego is kept healthy by positive attention,” Logan says softly, scooting closer and rubbing Roman’s shoulder through the blanket, “you’ve been starving, haven’t you?”
“He’s not cold because he’s hypothermic,” Remus blusters, “he’s touch starved.”
“It’s still not safe to introduce him to direct contact all at once,” Logan warns when Patton and Remus look like they want to rip the blanket off, “we have to take it slow.”
“So what do we do?”
Janus just leans down and presses a kiss to Roman’s temple. “You’re so brave, sweetie, you’ve been so strong.”
They watch as Roman’s tears begin to wash away the black.
“We love you, sweetheart, you’re so important to us.”
“Stay with us, Princey, we need you.”
“You’re doing very well, Roman, we’re very proud of you.”
Roman cries, ducking his head into Virgil’s waiting hands as Remus’s costume colors itself black again.
After a long while, when Remus looks like he normally does, Roman shakes his head and looks up at them.
“Where am I,” and he sounds like Roman again, “what’s happened?”
“You were starving, sweetheart,” Patton mumbles, “and we didn’t notice until it was too late.”
“O-oh,” Roman blinks, “is that…is that why I’m so cold?”
“You’re touch starved too,” Virgil adds, “and we, uh, L said it wasn’t a good idea to try and shock you out of it.”
“Try and drink something,” Logan says quickly as Patton reaches for the mug, “you’ve been crying for a while and you’re dehydrated.”
“Is that…hot chocolate?”
“Your favorite, kiddo.”
Remus sits down at Roman’s side as he drinks, staring at him like he’s not seen him in ages. Which, well, none of them have, really.
“I’m sorry.”
“What?”
“I’m sorry,” Roman repeats, looking sheepishly at all of them, “I, uh, well, the last video I messed up a lot. I, uh, I shouldn’t have laughed at your name, Jan—where are you?”
“Right here,” Janus mumbles, giving him a gentle squeeze, “and you’re forgiven.”
“Oh. Uh, that was easy…are you sure?”
“I’m sure. Yes, it wasn’t great of you to do, but I’m not exactly blameless either and…”
He squeezes him again.
“…you’ve been hurting enough.”
“Logan, you too, I—I’m sorry.”
“Thank you, Roman, but I agree. It’s alright.”
“Why are you all forgiving me so fast?”
“Because,” Remus mumbles, cupping Roman’s head and resting their foreheads together, “this happened.”
They all watch as Roman shudders as Remus shows him what happened.
“Oh—oh—I—oh no—“
“It’s over now, sweetie,” Janus reassures, “we’ve got you. You’re okay, you’re safe.”
“C-can I have a hug?”
“Of course, honey, come here—“
“Let’s get the blanket out of the way, L, is he—“
“It should be safe now, yes.”
“Remus, I—oof!”
“I gotcha, Ro-Bro.”
“It’s still—I’m still—“
“Patton, grab that end of the blanket.”
“This one?”
“That’s it, yes.”
The Sides end up swaddled in the blanket, their heads poking out, as each of them pulls a little bit of Roman into their arms to warm up. Janus and Remus wrap around his upper body, mindful of the few bruises that haven’t been healed yet. His legs are in Patton’s lap, as Logan and Virgil each hold on to his hands. The poor thing is still shivering, still shaking, still a little overwhelmed.
But Janus coos into his ear as his head lolls back, Remus holding him tightly. Logan’s thumb strokes over his palm as Virgil lets him squeeze as tight as he needs to. Patton makes sure he’s off the cold tile and he’s warm.
They’re going to have to work out what to do about the fans, about the videos, but right now they need to worry about Roman.
Speaking of Roman—
“I—I need to apologize to Thomas.”
A cry goes up as he says so, Patton reaching up to pat his knee. “You don’t have to do that right now, sweetheart, rest, it’s okay—“
“I won’t—he won’t be able to rest until he knows what’s happened.”
As if he can hear them, they feel the familiar tug of one of them being summoned. A quick glance around shows that if one of them is going, all of them are, so they appear on the floor of the living room, swaddled in the blanket.
Thomas’s mouth drops open and he rushes to their side.
“I was gonna ask if you found Roman, but I—Roman, buddy, are you okay?”
“I…I don’t know,” Roman mumbles, “but I’m sorry.”
“For what, buddy?”
As Roman begins to apologize, for being away, for hurting Thomas, for being selfish, Thomas just shakes his head.
“No, buddy, that’s not all on you. You—yeah, okay, some things happened, but it’s not entirely your fault. You don’t need to think of it like that.”
“Well said,” Logan mutters, “now help us get Roman to rest.”
“So what Disney movie are we watching and how many pillows do we need?”
A lot, as it turns out, is the answer. And they have to bite back laughs at the way Thomas makes a noise when he’s swept into the blanket too. But Thomas is warm and Roman is still cold and the movie plays on the screen.
“Hey, Roman?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re my hero.”
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notnctu ¡ 5 years ago
Text
through the lens ❀ l.jn
Tumblr media
❀ lee jeno x fem!reader ❀ genre - slow burn, smut/mature content, fluff (romance?), slight angst ❀ details - photographer!jeno, model!reader, college!au, shy!jeno but he aint shy in bed, strangers to fuckers!au ❀ word count - 8k (this is the longest thing ive ever written) ❀ warnings - nude modeling, swearing, oral (f/receiving), some sweet love makin’ ❀ brief synopsis - jeno asks you to model for his internship project, but little did you know, it was going to be a nude photo shoot.  
❝ jeno was too shy to hold eye contact, but he stared at you endlessly through the lens. ❞
❀ a/n - hihihi this is author doie❀ ! im bad at writing smut so pls dont hate me ah ha lol i tried my best i also dont model/do professional photography so really apologize if i butcher any terms lmaoo the only thing i am is that im in college and im shy
Jeno had applied to almost a hundred internships and almost close to none returned with an offer, even after a whole month of waiting. He absolutely needed to start building his portfolio before the beginning of his senior year of college. The embarrassment of possibly graduating without any experience loomed over the desperate boy. 
Photography had been more than a hobby to him, to the point where he wanted to take it seriously. His parents weren’t the most supportive of an Arts major, but that couldn’t stop him. Jeno saw the best through a camera lens. He had a special eye for beautiful moments and the impressing urge to capture it forever. 
It was too late to change his major, if he wanted to graduate with all of his friends. If he wanted to be successful, he had to act on it now. 
The swoosh! of a new email startled the sleeping boy. He stared at the brightly lit screen, reading the words over and over again to make sure it was real. Jeno was so enthralled with excitement that he scrambled out of bed to wake up his roommate, Jaemin.
He shook him so violently that the sheets fell from Jaemin’s warm body. “Dude! I got an internship!” He spoke with incredible glee, a wide smile couldn’t leave his face.
Jaemin groaned and had to hold Jeno by the shoulders to halt the boy from causing the room to spin. “Why--What is going on?” He dazely rubbed his tired eyes to blink at his giddy roommate.
The screen blinded Jaemin as it was shoved too closely to adjust. “Whoa--,” he pushed it away and shut his eyes, “--repeat what you just said one more time.” Jaemin held a finger up and Jeno grabbed it, jumping onto his best friend’s bed.
“I got an internship. Someone got back to me.” Jaemin returned the same excitement the moment he processed his words. He shot up in bed and hugged his friend tightly. 
“Wo-w, dude! Congratulations!” The two boys hurried on their feet to cheer together. There was no concern for the rest of their housemates, only celebration that roared throughout the entire night.
+
Truthfully, Jeno had no recollection of applying to this studio. It could have been a random link on a job scouting website, but he couldn’t be more grateful. An internship was long overdue and Jeno had been itching to get some recognition for his craft. 
“Hello, I’m Lee Jeno.” He bowed slightly at the receptionist, who had a stern stare that made him feel vulnerable. The first thing he noted about the office: white and minimalistic. 
Jeno’s specialty was landscape photography. His aesthetics consisted of black and white filters, city lights, dark mood lighting, and background commotion. He enjoyed capturing chaos the most, a scene where more than one thing was happening. The only reason being that there was more to look at. 
“Nice to meet you. The name is Lee Taemin, but you can call me what you please.” A young, lean man strolled his way towards Jeno with a wide grin and his hand for him to shake. Taemin was slightly shorter than him, but his stylish, expensive boots made up for his height. He had to be only a maximum of five years older than Jeno as Taemin appeared relatively youthful. 
Taemin’s firm grip pulled Jeno along inside the studio. A small gasp escaped from Jeno which earned robust laughter from the older man. “I hope you can break out of your shell soon. There is no room for timidness around here, Mister Lee.”
“Please, you can call me Jeno.” He smiled, quite awkwardly at the beautiful man. 
The tall glass windows, the concrete, gray floor, the white doors that lined the hallway, had to be all too predictable. Jeno envisioned this is what high class must look like. It was the pristine, bright feeling and the smell of vanilla that lingered distastefully. There was chatter behind the closed doors --- mainly directing, and high praises. 
The only off-put was that photographers worked behind closed doors. From the few studios he has visited previously, photographers often worked in open spaces due to lighting fractures or the ability to roam more freely. 
“I’m actually very ecstatic you signed up for the internship, since you do seem a bit on the younger side.” Taemin gestured toward the sofa in the middle of his massive office. Jeno sat across from him. Water was already placed on the glass coffee table that separated the two. A laptop was opened to face Taemin.
Jeno slyly rubbed the condensation from his palms on his jeans. Taemin’s stare bore deep into the shy boy, who had to break eye contact from time to time. “I know.” Jeno chuckled nervously, “thank you for getting back to me. I was really hoping to gain work experience through mentorship.” 
Taemin nodded at everything Jeno was saying. His face being completely expressionless. Jeno sipped his water to regain moisture in his dry throat. Taemin was more intimidating than he was anticipating. “Sounds great. Happy to have you here. It might be a small business, but the experience is worth investing in. Every photographer who has come in and out of my building has found their forte. Let’s say, it’s eye opening.” 
“That’s exactly what I was looking for actually.” As scared as he was of this mysterious man, he really enjoyed the comfort the environment radiated. 
Taemin leaned forward and squinted at the screen. “I noticed in the portfolio you sent that you don’t have any portraits or any people, in general, in your photos. Do you have any works with people? Since this is a studio of fine art nude photography.”
Nude. Jeno practically choked on the last remaining spit he gathered. Taemin acknowledged the boy’s shocked reaction and tilted his head curiously, “you did know that I specialize in contemporary fine art nude photography, right?” Unfortunately, Jeno did not. 
Jeno cleared his throat, “yes, of course. I wanted to challenge myself.” He had to lie, there was no other way to cover up his disbelief. This internship was the only hope left for him to gain something. Though, even the thought of shooting a naked body made him anxious.
He hated how timid he was. His friends and family say otherwise, mainly for the reason that Jeno automatically lit up behind a camera. In all honesty, he hid behind it. It was the only safe place that Jeno knew what he was doing. However when it came to real life situations without it, he lacked the confidence to be himself.
As ironic as it was, he hated being seen. He liked to be the background character in his own life, because the main character took too much of a toll. It could also be his deafening insecurities and lack of self esteem, but Jeno didn’t mind not being the center of attention.
“You like a challenge?” It was more of a statement rather than a question. Jeno caught a glimpse of the twinkle in Taemin’s dark eyes. “Then for your first task, I want you to show me that you can take on this role.”
Jeno scrambled for his phone to jot down notes. “Send me an emotional portfolio, model of your choice. They could be a friend of yours that you feel comfortable seeing naked. It must include a variation of headshots, full body, and body details. It must also be raw and unedited photos. I want to see if you have the eye for the art to capture these types of images.”
“When would you like it by?” He stammered, completely winded at the sudden project that unloaded on top of him. 
“Next Friday, and you’ll present it to me here in person. Feel free to use this studio if you don’t have a place of your own with equipment. All you need to do is book a room with the front desk. Any other questions?” The sound of the laptop shutting caused Jeno to look up at the brilliance in front of him. He needed Taemin to help him succeed. 
“Why do you take nude photography?” 
Taemin was unable to stop the laughter that erupted into the room. “I don’t run a pimp business or sell soft core porn, if that’s why you’re staring at me so funnily. What I make is an art masterpiece, it has nothing to do with physical features or desires. It’s the pure emotion that clothing distracts from. Clothing conforms the model into an aesthetic, and while that works for editorials, it won’t be a consistent thing here.” 
Jeno nodded understandingly. Overwhelmed and lost at words. He was unsure what he had gotten himself into. Where was he going to find a model on such short notice on such lewd conditions? He was really going to need to step out of his comfortable zone, in his photography and social skills. 
Taemin stood up and extended his hand once more. “I take pride in my art, so I hope you, too, start finding that in your own.” 
+
Jaemin held his stomach from the endless laughter, tears welling up in his eyes. “Nud-Nude photography? And you didn’t know?”
“Jaemin, keep it down.” Jeno whispered and cautiously peered around at the few people flooding into the small lecture hall. “I don’t want everyone in our club to misunderstand and think I’m some creep.”
His best friend straightened up in his seat and placed his hand on Jeno's slumped shoulder, “first of all, you’re a complete idiot for not researching. Secondly, it’s an art form. If you really got yourself a shady, rated R internship, I would’ve told you to drop it instantly.” 
His spirits were slightly lifted, but he was still struggling with who he should ask to model for him. As much as he’s already seen of Jaemin, being his roommate, he honestly would rather leave the rest to imagination. Jeno wasn’t purposefully searching the room for a candidate, but he could not stop his eyes from drifting.
He spotted the most attractive side profile that sat two rows below him. He shook his head to make sure he was seeing her correctly. Peering around, he looked for another possible face to shoot. But oh god, how she caught his eye every time she even slightly moved.
You smiled happily with your friends by your side as your club’s executive board members introduced this year’s goals and events to attend. It had to be the smallest amount of alcohol still running in your system that caused you to giggle every time guys tried to turn around and hit on you.
“Why don’t you focus on our club members instead?” You smirked at the smug older boy, who had poorly attempted to grab your attention. “I think this information is important to you. These events could help you develop your social skills to be much better.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, but your girl friends scoffed by your side.
He got up in disbelief and quickly walked out of the room. There was a brief pause at the sudden movement, but the announcement carried on per usual.
Jeno impatiently waited for the club meeting to finally be over, so he could talk to you. The longer it dragged, the more his confidence was subsiding. “I’m heading to study, wanna come with?” Jaemin poked at Jeno’s knee.
“Yeah, but you can go ahead first. I need to talk to someone.” His voice was shaky and his throat went so dry. Jeno’s shifty eyes scanned the room, hoping no one saw how nervous he was acting.
Jaemin’s eyebrows lifted suspiciously, “who? I didn’t even know you talked to anyone who came today. Donghyuck and Renjun aren’t here---”
“--her, Jaemin... her. I’m going to ask her to model for me.” Jeno motioned his head. His heart beating faster at seeing a small grin appear on your face from a comment someone made.
Jaemin hummed, “good luck with that, bud. I’ve got two shoulders for you to cry on after.” The extra hint of sarcasm only made Jeno sweat nervously. He was seriously doubting his decision, but it wouldn’t be a challenge if he didn’t do it. He knew he’d regret it more if he didn’t just ask you. 
Once the meeting was dismissed, you wanted to get out of the room before the heavy rush into the hallways. Unfortunately, a few frat guys pulled you into their conversation and chatted up a storm. Your friends played into their foolery, but you stopped paying attention when they asked for your numbers.
There was a faint tap on your shoulder and you turned to see who the culprit was. You didn’t seem to know him, because you would’ve remembered such a demeanor. His eyes were glued to the floor behind you and his shaky hands ran through his brown locks. His shyness was quite endearing, yet alarming since you weren’t sure why exactly he had approached you.
“Yes?” You asked curiously.
The moment Jeno heard your delicate cadence, he melted like a popsicle left out in the sun. He peered up, but quickly reverted his eyes to the white tiles when he noticed how beautifully you stared at him.
He counted his breathing to calm his rapid heart beat. He cleared his throat to introduce himself, “I’m Jeno. I’m a third year Arts major, um-- I was just--- I know we don’t know each other. I wanted to ask, uh-” Jeno was horrified at how he stammered over his own words. His cheeks burned with a red glow, and if he couldn’t look you in the eye before, he definitely couldn’t now.
“Hey, see you later.” One of the bulky frat guys called and you waved back weakly. 
A guy who had been chasing you endlessly scoffed at the pitiful sight and smirked at you, “see you at my house tonight? Been missing you in my bed lately.”
“Thought you would’ve guessed the reason why I stopped coming around.” Jeno heard the sting in your remarks and the disbelief in the male. 
You honestly could have left, Jeno knew that. But you stayed and waited patiently for him to finish. Jeno could tell how strong you were just by your intimidating aura that practically suffocated him by standing in close proximity to you.
You sighed and reached to grab your jacket on the folded seat, “look, Jeno. It’s nice to meet you and all, but I gotta get going.” 
Shockingly, the shy boy reached out to stop you by your fingertips. His touch lingered before he dropped your hand quickly. “I’m sorry. Are you free this Monday?”
“Uh, that depends. If you’re asking me on a date, then I’m busy.” Rolling your eyes, you weren’t sure why you still stayed to listen to what this random stranger had to say. If it were anyone else, you would’ve walked away the moment he asked if you were free. However, you acknowledged his timidness and the courage he must have mustered up to approach you.
Jeno shook his head violently, completely in shambles from that type of misunderstanding. “Not a date. I need someone to model for my portfolio photos that my internship assigned. It’s actually very important to me because it’s the first internship that responded back to me when I had applied to so many a whole month ago. Basically, I really need this and you because I think you’d be perfect to take pictures of. Oh-- wow! That sounded very bad --- uh --- what I meant is that your facial proportions are perfect and---”
“I’m free Monday.” You cut off his endless ramble and gestured toward his phone. He handed it to you without any hesitation and you typed in your number. “Text me the time, place and what I should wear.” 
“Oh actually, it’s a nude photoshoot.” Your eyes doubled in size, completely offended by that statement.
Jeno felt the sudden shift in the air and brought his hands up to block himself, “to be more clear, it’s a contemporary fine art nude photography studio. The pictures are pieces of art and to be seen as that only. I have no intentions or ulterior motive to sleep with you, see you naked or sell, leak your nudes for the profit of your body. But, I understand if you no longer want to do it because it sounds super strange now that I am explaining it.” 
Your shoulders relaxed and the fist that formed unraveled. You exhaled deeply, “I’ll do it. We can talk more about it on Monday and I get to leave on my own accord if I don’t feel comfortable. We work on my conditions.” Picking up Jeno’s chin, he was absolutely petrified at the forced eye contact and your incredible, powerful gaze. He was mesmerized by the fire in your eyes, and if he stared any longer, he could’ve lost himself in them. 
“Of course.” With that, you dropped his face and left without another look back. Jeno looked down at his phone and the new contact name, (Y/N). It had slipped his mind to even ask what your name was and he slapped his face in utter stupidity. “Do better, Lee Jeno.” It was a remainder to himself to, hopefully, be better the next time you two speak.
+
Monday, 3:03 PM. 
Jeno paced back and forth in the brightly, lit white room. He was trying to find any blinds or curtains to cover the tall windows of the high rise building. It should not be too much of a problem, the extra lighting was a positive. Jeno was only worried for your comfort of the openness. 
There was a soft knock before Jeno practically tripped to open the door. His breath hitched at the sight of your bare face. This time, you were the vulnerable one. Jeno only saw purity, yet impressed at how your tired eyes still managed to bid him a soft smile. He admired your uneven complexion, and the sparse moles that dotted your skin. 
“Okay, so you want to see me naked now or later?” Filled with jokes, your voice was light and airy this afternoon. There was a bit of a contrast from the first time you two met. Softer, enchanting, almost ghostly. 
Everything in the room was white. The mattress on the floor had a white comforter and white sheets. The backdrop. The walls. The hardwood floor. The only color was the blue sky that the tall windows let in.
“Here’s a robe. You can change in the bathroom.” Jeno scratched the back of his neck and his eyes wandered everywhere, but your’s. 
“Would you be okay with me just taking off my clothes in here?” You saw the light tint of pink cover his face, and spread to his ears. You examined more of the shy boy’s embarrassed face, finally getting a really good look at him. Jeno was very attractive, and you could only imagine how beautiful he must look if he fully faced you.
Jeno fiddled with his camera strap, “only if you are okay with that.” Clearing his throat, he stood next to the window to give you some privacy. “I’ll go over what I plan on doing. I’m going to take photos of your face details, parts of your body, full body, and portraits. You can lay down on the bed and I’ll direct you in poses. Have you modeled before?”
He was scanning the bustling city below his feet. Cars zoomed quickly and crowds of tiny people flooded the streets. He brought his camera up to his face, not being able to resist the urge to capture such a thrilling sight. 
“If Instagram counts, then yeah. Professional model gig would be a no. Nude photography is a definite no, unless we are talking about being filmed during sex.” Jeno chuckled, while also holding the camera steady and stealing a few moments to keep for himself.
For a strange reason, being naked for a non-sensual reason felt even more vulnerable. Laying on the soft fabric, you felt oddly exposed and slightly more reserved. You’ve had countless strangers see you naked. Men were sexually desiring to see a sexy picture. You were always lusted after, but this feeling of nakedness was special.
“Are you ready?” Jeno gulped, finally setting the camera down. 
You hummed cheerfully. Your heart was leaping out of your chest as the boy shifted slowly to face you. As he turned, you noticed he had his eyes sealed shut, which caused a small laugh to erupt. “Jeno, you have my permission to open your eyes and to look at me.”
Holy shit, he was trembling with an inexplicable fear. The camera was slipping from his sweaty hands. His mouth was as dry as the desert. Jeno’s pounding heart was loud in his ears. 
Jeno has seen his past girlfriends laying naked in bed, but this situation was too different. When he saw you laying there in absolutely nothing, he was overwhelmed, yet astounded at how graceful you appeared.
There was no exchange of words and no exchange of eye contact. He towered over your lying figure and shakily brought the camera to his eyes. He selfishly wanted to capture your elegance. Through the lens, he saw all of you: the curve in your eyelid, your curled eyelashes, the small mole next to your soft lips, the sharp color of your eyes, the way your hair frames your face.
This was the most beautiful sight he’s ever seen. You were comparable to the arts found in popular museums. Your body lines were enticing and an impressive shape. Your breasts pooled on your chest, the round nude nipple in the centers. Your details had to be sculpted by gods, who took their sweet time making you. You were a true masterpiece. 
Confused, Jeno felt a huge mixture of emotions. Was he aroused? Was he infatuated? Did he just fall in love with a complete stranger? He recognized the same thrilled feelings he felt taking landscape photos. With each click, he grew more excited with how beautiful the photos were turning out.
“Sit up and rest your chin on your left hand. Lean your weight on your right leg.” Jeno’s direction was clear and firm. There was no evidence of a smaller tone he usually spoke in. Sitting up, you placed your elbow on your upper thigh to steady your chin. Jeno had already gotten down to floor level to you. 
Without the camera that separated you two, it had to be the first time he faced you completely in such close proximity. There was so much to admire about Jeno. He remained concentrated on his craft, but it was actually very sexy to see his dedication. It was almost like he was a whole new person, like all the shyness drifted away. 
Jeno couldn’t take his eyes off of you. It wasn’t simply your beauty that amazed him. Your confidence made everything easy. There was something about your blank stares, when he asked for an emotion, you portrayed it perfectly.
“Can we talk while you shoot?” Your sudden voice startled the photographer. He lowered his camera and his gaze automatically wandered off behind you, which didn’t go unnoticed. He nodded after a short pause and the shutter noises continued.
“Why did you choose me as your model?” 
Jeno peeled away from the device, “because you’re you.” He didn’t even know what that statement meant. It wasn’t like he knew you before the first time he asked you to model for him.
The corners of your lips dipped down, drawing an evident frown. Click. Jeno loved that image especially. It was a simple way to get real, authentic facial expressions. He marveled at the photo, but registered the reason behind it. “I wanted to ask you the second I saw you. I just knew that I wanted you.” 
“But you don’t know me.” 
Jeno looked through the lens once again, welcoming a full view of your stunning attributes. He spoke in a low voice, “then, let me know you.” Click. 
It would be the biggest lie to say that you weren’t aroused by Jeno at the moment. He was cool, without trying to be. He really did shine when he had a camera to work with, like a star to a dark night. While he had a distinct demeanor off the bat, you enjoyed unraveling the rest of him. He was, also, the first man you met that didn’t seem sexually driven by a naked woman in his presence. 
You had to resist every urge to push the camera away and share the few seconds of his entire gaze before it wandered away. You wanted to rock his world, he was so innocent and beautiful. You wished to wreak havoc on him, have him show you how much he wanted you. 
+
You anticipated an awkward photoshoot, but Jeno made you feel safe and comfortable. He made sure to adjust the temperature when goosebumps rose on your arms and when your nipples became painfully hard. He never touched you or came too much into your personal space. He always asked for your permission. 
Nude modeling was a new experience for you, but you were surprised at how much you liked it. or how much you liked Jeno taking your photos. He sat next to you on the bed when you put on your articles of clothing and panned through several shots to satisfy your curiosity.
Leaning close, your head ducked to see the photos. A gasp escaped your lips when you saw just the first few. “Is that really me?” The pictures made you feel an abundance of emotions, you felt what they reflected. Sadness, melancholy, happiness, confidence. You didn’t know images had that much power to make you feel that, especially photos of you.
Jeno nodded, smiling so wide that his eyes turned to moon crescents. He was so in love with the results. He found respect for Taemin’s craft and he was right, he might’ve found a new forte to experiment with. “I can send you the photos digitally too, if you want them.”
“Maybe I’ll print them out, frame them, and gift it to every horrid man who has tried to flirt their way to my body since they want to see it so fucking bad.” 
Jeno peered over and saw the tiny glimpse of pain in your orbs, “why would you give horrible people what they want?”
“So they can finally shut up and leave me alone. Plus, this is art and if I tell them it’s actually me, maybe it’ll change their minds to start treating me like it.” 
He held his palm up and almost immediately, your fingers filled the spaces between his. “I’m going to need you to start treating yourself as fine art.”
“Keep taking more photos of me and I just might start thinking I’m Mona Lisa.” Your laughters blended nicely into each other. There was mutual mental acknowledgement of the happiness you were both feeling.
Jeno never let go of your hand, and there was a short moment of comforting silence where you two sat in each other’s existence. You were the one to break it, “are you doing anything after this?” 
He shook his head. “Well then, you’re mine for the rest of the night. We’re going to pretend we’ve been close friends since first year and eat take-out on my bed because that’s what I need at the moment.” 
+
“I know you respect my body and see this as an art form, but I’m genuinely surprised that you didn’t feel aroused at the slightest.”
Jeno didn’t even realize how much time had already passed being you. You two ate and chatted as if you’ve known each other forever, as if the friendship wasn’t established several hours ago. It felt safe and right, like you two belonged in each other’s existence and nowhere else mattered.
He felt warm inside from your hearty laughter and courage, like he was watching a painting come to life or a photo in movement. You were smitten over how endearing and complex he was. He was more than what meets the eye and that alone drew you towards him.
“Okay, I’ll admit,” Jeno paused to watch your reaction, “in the most respectable way, I was somewhat turned on. But! Before you trail blaze me for being just like every disgusting male in your life, I genuinely didn’t have any sexual thoughts during the photoshoot. That was all professional and it will continue to be like that.” 
Getting up from your bed, your mind was working at lightspeed to process his confession. Jeno was fast to pick up someone’s personality, what stood out and what was kept hidden. He knew quicker than anyone else that you were not someone to offend because you were a strong, straight forward woman.
His personality breakdown went like this: you knew what you like, you knew you were going to get what you want, you enjoyed flirty banter (with people of your choice), you weren’t afraid to be blunt, or kick someone’s ass. You carried yourself with confidence that graced your every step, which makes anyone attracted to you instantly. Bold, confident, sexy had to be what came to mind whenever he thought about you. 
Nonetheless, he really liked you as a person. He could pat himself on the back all day long for just approaching you, but he knew the real reason as to how this all happened. It was you saying yes to a stranger’s odd photoshoot. You made him the luckiest man in the world. 
“Continue? Are you looking for excuses to keep seeing me?” You smirked and Jeno’s voice grew small. 
“I--- uh, well,” there goes the nervous stammering, “I know the conditions were a one time thing, so I understand if you don’t want to do it again.” As the night had progressed, Jeno gradually began to hold eye contact and actually looked at you directly without the help of seeing you through a lens. This was the first time he broke it. 
“Hey now, I’m messing with you, Jeno.” He had been sitting on your floor, at the end of your bed. You crawled on your elbows to reach him, and to hold his chin to face you again. Deja vu. “I’d love to get naked for you again, and again, and.. as many times as you want me to.” 
He stared at you with his mouth hung open in disbelief. His eyes scanned your beautiful face to see your lips pull back into a mischievous smile. Gulping, he swallowed every ounce of courage he had left. “You don’t have to say it like that.” He tried to remove your grip, but it latched onto his hand. 
“You’re finally looking me in the eye, sweet thing. I don’t think you realize how much I had been wanting that from you.” You caressed his cheek, rubbing small circles on his texture. 
“What else do you want from me?” His implication sounded suggestive, even if his curiosity was innocent. 
Your hot breath brushed against Jeno’s lips. “I can show you.”
Jeno, the one and only college guy who has seen your naked body in a non-sexual context. Jeno, the shy, sweet boy who appreciated and recognized you as a form of art. Jeno, the talented and skillful photographer, who consistently made sure you felt comfortable. Jeno, the only person in the world who you’d model nude for. Jeno, the dazzling character behind the camera who you wanted more than anyone else you’ve ever met. Lee Jeno.
He seemed like he was inching closer, already tilting his head to fit your’s. You smiled to yourself, seeing that your words were received well. Diving in, your lips swam together fervently. 
The poor boy found himself lost in your enchanting, alluring gaze. He let the trance consume him, selfishly kissing the art he admired so dearly. A small part of him felt the guilt and confusion that began to rise. He wasn’t sure why he suddenly wished to feel your lips on his neck, or run his hands across your hot skin. He swore these thoughts were not present earlier. 
A small pop! and Jeno held your shoulder to pull away. “I’m sorry, did I do something?” You asked, honestly concerned that you were taking more than you deserved. The least you desired was to hurt Jeno, who had been nothing but nice and sweet.
“(Y/N),” you could listen to your name roll off his tongue all day, “I feel somewhat guilty. I don’t want things to be misunderstood.”
“Which would be?”
“I don’t want you to think I coerced you into being my model just because I had intentions to sleep with you.” Jeno was already gathering his things, but you hopped off your bed and placed a hand on his chest. “Because that’s what it’s starting to look like at the moment.”
“Was that something you did though? Did you have those intentions?” Your stare bore right through him. The warmth of your hand relaxed his racing heart.
“Never, (Y/N), I would never do that to someone.” Your hand traveled down to grab his belongings and tossed it back onto the ground. 
He silently watched as you took off your pants, and stood in front of him in your underwear. “Then, we’re fine. I know your intentions have always been pure. But truthfully, Jeno, seeing you focused while you worked sparked something in me. You don’t understand how aroused I got and how badly I wanted you to fuck me on that bed.” His hand trailed up your exposed thighs, finally touching your softness. “You’re the one guy I wanted first, and it’s been a long time since I’ve felt that.” 
“I-- I don’t know what to say.” His cheeks revealed how embarrassed he was, but his dark, lustful eyes were telling a different story.
A smirk fell upon your face, “then don’t say anything.” 
Jeno devoured you, inhaling the light hint of vanilla that still lingered. He hoisted you onto your mattress and kissed you like his life depended on it. His antsy hands roamed your free range, exploring, holding, gripping the parts he marveled over. Small moans from the back of your throat encouraged him to continue.
No one has ever kissed you with the amount of passion Jeno did. It was gentle, with enough vigor to cause your panties to dampen. It wasn’t sloppy, where previous guys had a problem of missing your mouth entirely and slobbered your chin. 
His lips worshiped you, highlighting your good sides. Flashes of the photoshoot popped into Jeno’s head as he left purple marks on the places he loved capturing the most. He pushed up your shirt, exposing your chest to him again. His tongue circled around your hard nipple as he made sure to give the same amount of attention to each one. 
Jeno knew he was too shy to hold your intense stare, but getting to know you during and after the photoshoot, he could see the softness in your gaze. He was, now, able to see all of you. The sight of you through the camera was addicting enough, so finally taking you all in was more than satisfying. 
Your hands ran through his hair as he kissed down your torso. His thumbs hooked the waistband of your underwear, and peeled it off your body. You gasped as the cold air from your apartment grazed against your exposed figure.
Jeno paused to admire your glistening pussy, “would it be okay if you let me make love to you?”
Your heart burned, not out of embarrassment, but at how he still managed to ask you for your permission in the sweetest way. You rested your weight on your elbows, “no one has done that before, would it actually make me want to fall in love with you?”
“It wouldn’t be too bad. I have a lot of love to give and you look like a person who deserves all of it anyways.” Jeno’s finger ran over your wet slit and rubbed your clit slowly.
Your moans filled the room as the electric jolted throughout your veins. The wetness grew, seeping out of you like a waterfall. Jeno dropped down to his knees, and lifted your legs on his broad shoulders.
“Are you usually this wet, baby?”
Chuckling, you smiled at his bold choice in using pet names, “Just for you.”
He hummed, chiming at how he liked your answer. Spreading you open, his tongue met with your swollen bud that begged for his licks.
His tongue darted side to side, up and down and in result, your back arched in pleasure and a darkness clouded your mind. His name and mindless profanities streamlined their way out of you as Jeno ate you out in such a precisely delicious way.
Grabbing a fist full of hair, you pulled him closer, even if there was no more space to fill. Looking down, you two exchanged glances before he thrusted a finger into you. Your hips bucked harder as he eased in another one.
Jeno curled his fingers in search of your sweet spot and found it when a deep moan escaped your throat. His fingertips rubbed and pressed into your plush flesh, causing you to practically scream and squirm in his mouth. 
He suckled your clit and fingered you simultaneously and quickly. The pleasure was overflowing and you released his hair to grip your sheets below you. Your legs shook and trembled as he had no caution to stop.
“Please, I’m going to--” you could barely talk due to your face contouring to the splurge of pleasure every single time Jeno rubbed your spot. “--to explode.” 
He had to take back what he thought earlier in the day. This was the most beautiful sight he’s ever laid eyes on. The whole scene played like from one of his favorite films. It felt like he was giving his photos life. Your body twisted and turned, accentuating the curves of your lines. 
Jeno had become painfully hard against the fabric of his jeans, but seeing you fall apart because of his minimal movements exhilarated him. “P-Please, don’t stop.” A breathy moan followed suit and your thighs tried to press themselves together. Jeno didn’t allow it, his free hand hooked underneath your left thigh to pull one side away from his cheeks.
Your high gradually grew so tall that it all eventually came cascading down. Your legs shook violently and sat up from the euphoria that took over you. Jeno prolonged your buzz and you screamed loudly, having to bite down on your fingers to stop yourself from angering your neighbors.
Jeno drank you up, letting your wetness cover his chin and drip down his knuckles. He pulled away, at last, and you took deep breaths to control your heavy breathing. It was like Jeno knocked the wind completely out of you. 
He stood up and you saw the outline of his hard bulge straining itself through his jeans. The next scene was quite animalistic. You, still embodying your high, sat on your knees and unzipped his pants with your needy hands.
“Now, it’s your turn to get nude for me.” You whispered, tauntingly. Jeno groaned when you reached down and gently pulled him out. He stepped out of his clothing, all of it. His shirt was lost in the corner and his bottoms were scattered over your floor. Mirroring his actions, you took off your last piece of cloth.
Jeno was built. Though his biceps did not go unnoticed during the photoshoot, you were surprised at the lines of muscle that sketched his body. It made your mouth water, seeing his extremely hard dick stand against his toned abs. His red tip fell just below his navel. Jeno only kept getting better as the night continued on.
Pulling him closer, his hand found their way to the back of your head as you aligned your mouth to the wetness that spilled from his tip. “I want to make you feel good.” Jeno’s hoarse voice made your knees weak.
Peering up, you batted your eyelashes at him fondly. “Just a little taste?” You begged, having to hold his shaft with both of your hands because of his thickness. Your tongue was already stuck out, your hot breath causing the tiniest bit of sensation for him.
He nodded and his eyes were trained on you. He didn’t want to miss any second of your kitty licks. You flattened your tongue against his warmth, dragging it up to the top. The saltiness hit your palette as you swirled around his redness. “Oh--” Jeno threw his head back and bit his lip, “--lay on the bed now.” 
You smiled sweetly and gave his member a quick kiss before reaching for a condom in your drawer. Jeno climbed onto your bed and situated the rubber comfortably. You laid on your back and he was fast to pull your legs around his waist. 
He lined himself at your entrance and eased his tip in slowly. Squirming, you craved him to fill you up to the brim. He leaned down to kiss you, letting your tongue lap with his. It’s your hands with the mind of their own when they flew automatically to hold his face whenever you wanted to deepen the kiss. Then, Jeno stretched himself all the way in and he caught your gasp with his lips. He groaned, feeling the mess he created merely minutes ago. 
His hips moved so easily with your wetness, but he went slow. Dragging out each pull and then, pushing himself back in roughly. “Jeno!” Your body jolted up the bed each time. His body fell over yours to hold you intimately, letting you bury your face into his neck. Your lips latched themselves onto his sensitive skin, painting a purple sunset. 
Jeno’s arms snaked underneath your thighs as he pressed them to your chest, folding you almost into a ball. Your mouth hung open as he fucked you harder, rougher, deeper yet keeping the tempo rhythmically slow. At this point, you could feel his hits in your gut. Your weak hands gripped loosely around his strong wrists that held your legs down. “You’re pussy is so tight and holy shit---, you keep getting more beautiful.”
A familiar burning sensation set in your chest as you saw how concentrated his face had become. You were so fucked out that you could barely speak, “you—” his hips mercilessly slammed into you powerfully, enacting a low moan every time he reached your sweet spot. “—keep surprising me.” His actions came to a halt and he stared deeply into your soul. 
You whined, wiggling your hips for any friction. He held them down into the mattress, knowing his grip was strong enough to leave a mark. “I told you, I was going to make love to you tonight.”
“I’ve already fallen for you.” You said breathlessly, tracing the side of his face and pecking his lips softly. 
“You don’t understand what you’re doing to me by saying those things.” He whispered and pushed his entire shaft to fill you to your brim. 
You yelped his name and gripped his shoulders, but he wasn’t done yet. “Show me how badly you wanted me the first time you saw me.” Jeno blinked at you in slight shock. 
As he continued to hold the deep gaze, he kept pushing his dick further and further into you. He was balls deep, almost impossible to keep going. He fucked you without the need to pull out, just burying his cock deeper into your wet pussy. You exclaimed, moaned, cussed at every push. Holding the stare was more than enough to lose yourself all over him again. 
Jeno was drunk with the image of your fucked out expression and every time the mixture of pleasure and pressure caused your eyebrows to crease and mouth to open release sensual sound. He had been trying his best not to come undone, to fixate another climax for you.
The feeling of you wrapping tighter and tighter around him drove him insane. “Give it to me, please.” Your muffled plead called for his release, but he could feel that you were close to your second.
Jeno sat up on his knees and pulled you into his arms where your thighs fell over his. You groaned at the empty feeling, though it was quickly replaced with a gratifying moan when he inserted himself again. Your arms dangled around his neck, foreheads touching intimately. 
The fucking eye contact again, how could you get enough of it? You giggled, amused at how different Jeno was when he eventually opened up. He wrapped his strong arms around your back and thrusted his hips up into you. The way this man made you squirm, scream, and shake were nothing you’ve experienced before. 
He smirked, placing a gentle kiss on your cheek when he went rampage on your pussy. “Not laughing now, are you?”
You whined in pleasure, brushing your fallen strands of hair out of his face. “Shut up before I make you.” 
“Then I’d rather keep going.” Kissing up his jawline, you lead your way to his pout. His kisses intoxicated you with his passion and madness, like the most intense part of a symphony, or when the bass drops after a long build up in a song. 
Jeno sped up, ramming up into your slick pussy over and over again. He even brought your hips down to match him, guiding you down as he went up. The headboard was knocked against the wall, your windows steamed up, cries of pleasure from the both of you created the ambiance, the smell of sex filled your lungs. Jeno reached between your bodies to furiously rub your clit to where it felt almost raw. It all sent you into the clouds, the familiar queasiness settled in your lower half.
Your eyes rolled back and your back arched, having to pull away from the desirous kiss with Jeno. “I’m cumming!” You announced before the tension unraveled, causing you to see absolute white. The second wave was much more uncontrollable, Jeno felt you squeezing radically around his dick as he tried to fuck you faster to prolong the feeling.
Your legs shook around his and your upper body went limp with pleasure. You reached the peak of the mountain and it came crumbling down underneath your toes. It was catastrophically enthralling, to the point where you physically felt something leave your body.
“Oh shit..” Jeno stopped his motions at the sight of you squirting over his lap. He pampered your torso with fluttering kisses, hoping to calm your spastic body. “...baby, are you okay?” He asked with a bit of concern of how lack of life you seemed. 
This man just gave you the best climax in your whole life and he asked if you were okay? Regaining your senses, you sighed a small yes to reassure him that he didn’t actually murder you. Hopping off, you pulled the condom that restricted him.
He hissed when you cupped his balls in your palm. “Cum, my sweet thing.” You purred and Jeno’s hand pumped his member aggressively. You leaned in to help, sucking the tip and flicking your tongue over his slit. 
His other hand gripped your neck, causing you to drip on your sheets. Jeno was panting and with every tug, it became louder. He seemed so desperate to release that it made you smile to be the reason behind it. “Can you lay down,” A grunt followed his question, “please.” He huffed.
“Because you asked nicely.” Smirking, your back hit the sheets and you opened your legs to give Jeno a view. He situated himself above your stomach, as he fucked his tight grip.
“I’m cumming---” He couldn’t look any more amazing. With a final moan, the white streaks streamed out in short sequences. It landed across your abdomen, over your nipple, and pooled around your belly button. 
Bringing himself back to reality, Jeno stepped back to marvel you, his masterpiece. The white streaks coated your purple skin and your chest rose fast to catch your reality. Gazing upon your naked body, he was utterly infatuated with all of you. He was so in love with the sight of you that not a single photo could capture the beauty that you were. 
Jeno pondered the thought of how merely a day changed a small part of him. You were life changing, addicting, an incomparable character that he felt like he’s known forever, and now, couldn’t live without. It was the taste of your juices on his lips, your sweet melodic music that was your voice, your daring smile that enticed him to never peel away from you. It was simply you. 
He leaned down to rub his knuckles against your cheek, planting a lovingly peck on your forehead. “I’ll go start the water for you.” 
+
Jeno anticipated the reaction of his mentor. He found himself at the same scene he was when he was first given the task. Taemin sat across from him, hunched forward to analyze his new set of photos on his laptop. Raw, unedited photos of you, your body, your details. 
The hum of the air conditioning droned on, driving him mad. Jeno needed one reaction, but Taemin had been silent and expressionless for the past ten minutes. Whenever he did move, it was to click through to the next picture. 
Suddenly, he shut it closed and stood right up. Jeno, panicked, did the same. Taemin stuck his hand out and Jeno hesitantly grabbed it, incredibly unsettled and unable to read the older man.
Taemin received it firmly, giving Jeno a good handshake. “Welcome abroad, Lee Jeno. I expect even more great things from you.” 
Jeno registered his delightful mood switch and he was fast to follow up, “my photos, --- you --- like them?” 
Taemin nodded generously, patting Jeno on his shoulder. Taemin reached up to tap his own eyelids. “What you can see, is very special, kid. You’re an artist and I’m here to recognize that for you. It seems to me, you can do more than take pictures of sidewalks.” 
Jeno smiled happily, his eyes disappearing from joy. He couldn’t wait to tell you about it. 
The rest of the week, leading up to Jeno’s appointment, had felt nothing short of blissful moments together. You and Jeno spent almost every waking minute together without the cost of your friends’ time. He walked you to your classes, some even being across the campus from his own. You accompanied him for meals, even sitting in his lectures to just be with him.
There were no words that established what you two had become to each other. Jeno wasn’t looking for that anyways, in fact, he somewhat liked the ambiguity. If only he could tell you how making love to you made him begin to actually fall for you.
You were never one to hold a serious relationship, but you found a small want for that festering in Jeno. It was hard to admit to yourself, but Jeno saw you for all that you were. He truly saw you, whether it had been through a lens or through his own eyes. He captured your rawness and you were able to find vulnerability around him. 
He ran to you, where you sat in the lobby waiting for him to finish his meeting. Peering up from your phone, you noticed the beaming smile on the boy’s face. You couldn’t hold back your own grin, seeing him apparent with so much joy. “I’m guessing good things?”
“I got it, (Y/N)!” He jumped into your arms and you laughed at the sudden affection. “He loved my photos.” 
“I didn’t doubt it for one second. You’re an artist, Jeno. You create masterpieces that make even someone like me, feel like art.” 
Jeno hugged you closer to his chest, giving you a tiny squeeze. Pulling away to face you, his eyes examined your outstanding grace. You knew what he was already going to say, but simply wanted to hear him say it. “That’s because you are art.”
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missvelvetsstuff ¡ 2 years ago
Text
Fridays Place
Bucky Barnes x Reader
Chapter 14
Note: I don't want to sound needy or anything but some feedback would be awesome. "You're A super talented genius" "Your writing is transcendent" "You write like a 3rd grader" "Dont give up your day job" just be nice when you tell me how bad it sucks.
Warnings: Swearing, angst
When Friday woke up from her nap it was almost dark outside. She rubbed her sore eyes and groaned, hearing Nat puttering around in the kitchen. Friday got up to use the bathroom and splash some cold water on her face.
She slowly wandered out to the kitchen "Nat, you don't have to cook. I'm not really hungry. You can go home, I'll be alright"
Nat scoffed "What kind of girlfriend would I be if I left you all alone after the day you've had? I cleared my schedule for tomorrow and Wanda is on her way over with a basket full of edible treats and dark chocolate. I'm making tacos and you can have a margarita or two. We can watch some stupid movies, or stand up if you want. Eddie Izzard has a new special, I know you like him. We can paint our nails or braid our hair and talk trash about men in general."
Friday shook her head "I'm really not up for socializing, Nat. I'll try to eat a little but I want to go back to bed."
Nat chuckled "You say that like I was asking. Plans are made, food is cooking and Wanda is already on the road. We aren't leaving you alone again moya lyubov. Maybe if you're good I'll help you with some stress relief. After Wanda falls asleep."
Friday blushed "Won't your new beau mind? It's been forever since we-" she leaned into Nat and started to kiss her when Wanda texted Nat that she was around the corner. Friday moaned into the kiss but they both pulled away when Nats phone dinged.
Nat smiled "What Steve doesn't know won't hurt him and we aren't exclusive yet."
Friday smirked "Wanda already does know but you always insist on waiting till she falls asleep. You woke her up last time."
Nat blushed "It's not my fault you have such a wicked tongue. I know she knows, I know, I just don't want her to feel left out."
Friday laughed "Why should she, she has Vis and once told me she thinks we're both hot af but girls just aren't her thing."
Nat smiled "I know, I was there when she said it, you were just too baked to remember. It's just, you and I have known each other longer, have been lovers, are both perpetually single and she was already married and pregnant when they bought their house here. Sometimes I catch her looking at us a little, wistfully, I guess. Now lets go help her bring her stuff in."
They went outside and greeted Wanda with hugs and kisses. When they had everything organized they sat in the living room to eat and watch Eddie Izzards new special. The first time he had them all laughing, they remembered why frozen drinks and stand up comedy are not a good combination so they paused the show, put some music on and chatted while they ate.
They all avoided mentioning Bucky and Brock, trying to keep it light. Friday made Nat spill about her and Steve, Wanda gushed about her boys, Friday told Wanda about the new horses and promised to take Wanda out to meet them in the morning. She remembered Hilde and Becca and a flash of hurt crossed her face but she wiped it away.
The three of them hadn't had any real time together since before Brock and they all needed the time to unwind. They finished Eddie Izzard and another comedy special that prime recommend before Wanda started to doze off. Friday sent her to bed and told her to get comfortable while they cleaned up the mess.
After the kitchen was cleaned up Nat and Friday headed down the hall to her bedroom until Nat pulled her past the door to the spare room. The only light in the room streamed through the blinds from the moon, Friday admired Nat ivory skin and red hair.
Nat found Friday's hands and pulled her closer "I've missed you, moya lyubov. So much but are you sure you're ready for this? I don't want to upset or scare you." Nat reached up and threaded her fingers into Friday's hair, pulling her down to Nats level. "Can I kiss you? Can I taste you, moya lyubov?"
Friday whispered "Yes, please, my sweet Natalia." and leaned down with her mouth partially open, tongue darting down to her lower lip.
Like it always did with them, it started soft, gentle, searching, asking and answering but didn't take long to become hungry, passionate. Until Friday pulled away, eyes filled with tears.
Friday looked at Nat sadly, then down at her own hands. "I'm so sorry, I just, I can't."
Nat shushed her "No apologies, remember. I'm always here. Let's get to bed before Wanda takes up the whole thing" she lead Friday into her bedroom and they cuddled up together, Friday's head on Nats chest and their legs tangled together. Nat rubbed her back until they both fell asleep.
Bucky sat in the dark and drank while love songs filled the air, songs to slit your wrist by. He had sobbed for a long while but was out of tears. Now he was just sitting in the dark, almost finished with his bottle of scotch. He had lost track of the time and didn't much care in his drunken haze. He tried to stay awake because his dreams were full of explosions and hospitals then faded into Friday yelling in pain and crying as Brock defiled her until they ended with the look on her face as he tore into her yesterday but he was too wrung and kept nodding off. He jolted awake, preferring the replayed memories of losing his arm to Friday's tear covered face that he caused. When he woke enough to work out where he was he tried to grab the bottle of scotch to finish it off and when it was empty he threw it at the wall.
Buckys stomach was already sour but that last gulp of scotch pushed it over the edge and he felt the wretch but couldn't get up so sat and emptied his stomach onto himself then passed out.
The slam of the front door startled Bucky out of his fugue and the sunlight on his face hurt. He tried to cover his eyes with his arm but it was covered in his own puke, the smell turning his stomach again making him heave.
Steve looked down at Bucky and shook his head "What did you do to yourself, punk?"
Bucky mumbled incoherently and Steve rolled his eyes then turned to Sam "come on, lets get him to the shower"
Sam pinched his nose "Do I have to touch him? Why don't we just drag him outside in the chair and hose his foul ass down." He turned to look at Bucky "Fuck, Barnes. You're lucky you were sitting and not laying down, you'd have drowned in your own vomit"
Bucky heaved again but there was nothing left to throw up.
Steve patted his face "Alright asshole, lets get you cleaned up. You're lucky I love your dumb ass. I'd leave you to soak in it."
Sam smirked "What if I don't love him? He didn't protect me from bullies when I was a kid. He made his own damn bed."
Steve gave Sam his disappointed dad look and Sam sighed "I kinda hate both of you right now. Come on princess, lets get your dumb ass cleaned up."
Buckys friends pushed him in the chair to the guest bath since it was the closest shower, sat Bucky down on the shower floor and turned the cold water on.
Bucky woke up sputtering at the cold "What the? Who? Steve god dammit, you ruined my suit"
Steve and Sam both laughed and Sam told him "I'm pretty sure your toxic puke did that before we got here. You'll just have to write this one off."
Bucky grabbed his head "toxic puke? What the hell happened last night?"
Steve shook his head "You'll probably wish you didn't know but you blew it with the woman of your dreams and apparently tried to drink your weight in scotch"
Bucky rubbed his face "Woman of my dr-. Oh fuck! I did, didn't I. Jesus I'm an asshole. She's probably better off without me, obviously I can't be the man that she needs"
Sam shook his head and sighed "I never took you for a quitter, man but you're right. I'm sure she could do better. Easier to make excuses and give up than try to be that man for her. I'm sure all your girls have missed you. One woman is just as good as any other, right?"
Bucky shook his head, then groaned when his headache spiked "I used to think that but I know better now. No woman will ever be as good and that's why she deserves better than me."
Steve looked at Bucky pointedly "I'm glad you didn't give up so easy when your jeep hit that ied but I guess you're not as strong as we thought. Lemme grab you another bottle before I go."
Bucky pulled off his suit and cleaned himself up before turning the water off and wrapping a towel around his waist "I know what you're trying to do Steve but this isn't about fear or running away, it's about loving someone enough to let them go"
Steve laughed "You're so full of shit I'm surprised your eyes aren't brown. This is ALL about fear. Its easier to run away and hide your feelings into random pussy than to be a man, apologize and try to make things right.
I'm here to tell you that you will regret it for the rest of your life if you don't try.  But I guess that's a you problem. I, on the other hand, need to go check on the woman of my dreams before she thinks I'm as bad as you are."
Steve left the room.
Bucky looked at Sam "His dreams? Who is he talking about?"
Sam laughed "Beats me but considering how quickly he knew about your fuck up yesterday, I'm guessing a red haired ballerina has worked her way under his skin"
Buckys brow furrowed "Fridays friend? She was there when I saw Friday yesterday. That would explain a lot, actually."
They sat silently for a few minutes until Bucky picked his head up "What do I do, Sammy? How do I fix this?"
Sam sighed "I don't know, man. You really know how to fuck things up on an epic level. You spent all that time with her so know her better than I do. What might make her feel better?"
Bucky groaned "I don't know, we never talked about relationship stuff. I'll send some flowers, girls always like that. Maybe some jewelry." He grabbed his phone to the florist he has saved and set up a delivery of a huge bouquet of pink roses and lillies as they were good apology flowers. Then he called his jeweler and had a pair of diamond stud earrings with a matching tennis bracelet sent.
He saw the calls and texts from his mother and from Becca but he just sent a quick text to his mother, asking her to keep Becca another night and ignored the rest.
Sam shook his head "She doesn't seem the jewelry type to me, more the sincere and heartfelt apology kind of girl but good luck."
Bucky grinned "I've been dealing with angry and hurt women a lot more than you have, I think I can handle an apology"
"While I'm glad your self esteem is good, I don't think you should treat the woman of your dreams like you treat all your other girls but..." Sam shrugged
Bucky smirked "Trust me, I know what I'm doing."
When Friday woke up she was sandwiched tightly between Wanda and Nat in a tangle of limbs. Having her friends close was comforting but she really needed to pee. She tried to extricate herself without waking the others but every time she moved a limb clear, it wandered right back where it started.
She cleared her throat "Wanda? Natty? I need to get up and use the bathroom. Y'all need to let me go."
There was mumbling from both women that turned into snoring. Friday sighed, she really hoped it wouldn't come to this but she had no choice and started tickling Wanda along her side, until Wanda slapped her in the face. Friday laughed and shoved Wanda off of the bed before dashing over to the bathroom before Wanda could start complaining.
When Friday came out of the bathroom Wanda was sitting on the side of the bed grumbling. Friday beamed at her and started getting dressed to go feed, patting Wanda on the head as she passed.
Friday made it to the barn before she realized what she was doing and froze for a minute, looking around. The house seemed so far away and she felt exposed and threatened. She closed her eyes and shook her head, she was tired of letting her fear run her life. She opened her eyes and headed into the barn but when she walked in the bad feelings returned and she felt trapped. Friday wanted to go back to the house but it was too far and she felt the panic attack coming on so she ducked into Destrys stall and hid in the corner, crying.
Peter and MJ showed up a little while later and didn't realize Friday was there until they got to Destrys stall. She was curled up in the corner with tears still running down her cheeks. Destry was rubbing his head on hers until he heard them coming and turned towards them as though he was standing guard over Friday.
Peter saw her first and noted her red eyes so spoke to her gently "Hey boss. It's good to see you out here. You ok?"
Friday shook her head "I, I don't know how I got out here but I can't go back. Nat is in the house, can you call her please?"
Peter nodded but saw Nat coming before he could grab his phone. He jerked his head towards Friday and opened the stall door for Nat.
Nat went in, let Destry know it was ok and talked Friday down until she was able to get her up and walking back to the house.
"Come on love. Let's get you some food."
As they walked up to the door Nat saw a florist truck out front and left Friday on the porch for a moment to help them. She came back with the flowers that Bucky sent. They were a bit much but Nat figured he had a lot to make up for.
"Apparently Barnes sent these. Do you want me to throw them away."
Friday scoffed "He's an idiot if he thinks this will make up for yesterday but its not the flowers fault, just bring them in."
Nat cleared her throat "They came with this box" and handed Friday a long and narrow jewelry box.
Friday looked at it skeptically, her eyes going wide when she saw the jewelry inside. She shook her head "Beautiful but not me. He must have called for his I'm sorry special. With all his girls he probably gets a discount." She handed the box to Nat "Can you give this to Steve to return to him?" Nat nodded.
A few hours later, when Steve showed up after stopping by Fridays to see Nat for a minute he handed the box to Bucky and he lost it.
Looking at Steve with the box in his hand he yelled "Goddammit!! What did I tell you? Fucking! Ungrateful!"
And slammed the box down on the counter. "I'm going over there to talk to her, she can't just-"
Steve cut him off "She can and she did. How could you be dumb enough to send her the same shit you send your girls when you miss a date? She's not like them. You better learn that before it's too late. I don't think she is going to be into expensive gifts and she's strong enough to know she doesn't need a man who doesn't get her. Try harder"
Bucky scowled at him "I'm Bucky fucking Barnes I don't have to try. Women come to me and beg to come back."
Steve just laughed "Not this one. You better change up tactics before she's finished with you. If it's not too late already. And calm your ass down if you want to talk to her."
Bucky groaned "I've never done so much for a woman only to be rejected like this. I don't know what to do."
He went to grab a fresh bottle of scotch out and took a swig straight from the bottle.
Steve grabbed it before it got to Buckys mouth. "You won't find your answer in there, jerk. Your ego is what got you into this mess and you'll need to push it down if you want to find a way out."
Bucky looked up at his best friend since childhood "So what do I do?"
Nat and Wanda went home after lunch so Friday sat alone in her house with Alpine purring in her lap, looking at the huge bouquet of flowers and trying to figure it out. They were beautiful but felt hollow. She would have much preferred Bucky to come in person with a real apology but as the day waned that seemed more and more unlikely. It wouldn't have absolved him right away but would have been better than his gross displays of wealth. All the time they spent together and he still knew nothing about her, nothing real. She had started to think maybe there could be something between them but after the way he yelled at her and then sent expensive stuff in an attempt to appease her made Friday wonder if he had been listening to her or if he was just trying to get in her pants after all.
She sighed, ate an edible and forced herself to go outside and sit on the porch. She chatted with some of the riders and their parents as they were leaving.
When Peter and MJ came up to say goodnight ahe asked "Has Becca been here at all?"
Peter looked down "No, that's 2 days. I didn't think Barnes would be able to keep her away from Hilde."
Friday nodded, "Me either but we had a bit of a falling out so I don't know when they will be back. Make sure you take Hilde out for some exercise if Becca doesn't make it tomorrow."
Peter's brow furrowed "Falling out? Sounded much worse than that when I spoke to Nat. Don't worry, we'll take care of Hilde."
"Yeah, it wasn't great. Probably for the best. You kids go home and relax. I'll see you tomorrow." Friday waved them off and went inside to find something to eat. While she ate she played on her phone and thought about contacting Bucky. She decided that he must not really be interested if he sent a gift that he should know wouldn't impress her and didn't even bother trying to speak with her directly.
Friday was a little sad that he hadn't tried harder but it convinced her that he either wasn't very sorry or really interested in her. Like she told Peter, it's probably for the best.
Chapter 15
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