#yoongi mixtape

[blue-blue-blooms]

Agust D

I've been listening to Yoongi's solo music for the last few days and the amount of love I have for his art is something I can't properly articulate. I've been going through a really hard time for the last few months, and listening to his music is something I do often to cope with difficult feelings. I love that his music isn't 'it gets better' it's just 'yeah, this is really shitty. i feel shitty. the world is shitty and i don't know if there's a way out or a way through or if things get better but here's what i feel' and i find that so much more comforting. i find celebrities really unrelatable because at a certain point they become so detached from normality. they're rich and they're succesful and even if life sucks for them it doesn't suck half as much as the average person's. but i find his music incredibly relatable. especially his earlier work and his first mixtape. because the first one was released at a point in time where bts was doing well but they hadn't quite reached their peak yet. and to hear him talk about the same dark thoughts that cloud my mind, the same uncertainties, the same feelings, is so comforting. i don't think i've found any other artist that does it the way he does. the absolute fear that consumes me and keeps me caged in my room. the fear of failure. feeling like you have failed and that's it. no passion, nothing you want in life. that first mixtape is the warmest hug someone could ever give. just an absolute safe haven i find myself in when i'm unwell.

[amidstnamjin-and-binchanlix]

i wanna see the sun rise (on your sins, just me and you)

Warnings: Uhhh. Not much. Just some v v light angst, and mentions of hospitalization and stuff, also inaccuracies because i'm not a doctor (no matter how much my parents want me to be lmao)

Pairings: Bangtan Boys | BTS Ensemble/Reader, Kim Seokjin | Jin/Reader, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Reader, Park Jimin (BTS)/Reader, Jeon Jungkook/Reader, Jackson Wang/Reader

Plot: Regrets don't always come in the end, and they're hell-bent in making it right this time

Genre: light angst

'Cause I wanna touch you baby

And I wanna feel you too

I wanna see the sun rise

On your sins just me and you

Light it up, on the run

Let's make love tonight

Make it up, fall in love, try

Baby, I am right here

mixtape: all i have left to give - part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - ending 1

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK hi hello i have nothing else to say except my world is falling apart and me writing is saving me a little see you again in a few months!

🌇

"How is she?"

Seokjin is tempted not to answer the question directed at him. So much has happened today, and his nerves are shot from everything that had transpired. If only he listened to his common sense, if only he fought for you. If only, if only.

"Hyung—"

He pulls his wrist away from Hoseok's grasp, ignoring the hurt painted in the younger's eyes when he does so.

"Why don't you go see her and find out for yourself?"

"I don't think—"

"Don't think what, Hoseok? That she's worth fighting for? That this shit's been dragging for too long and that maybe, just maybe, she deserves better than what we're doing to her."

Hoseok hangs his head in shame.

"I stand by what I said. This is no time to be neutral about it. You and Jimin, what did she ever do to the two of you to let the others get their way?"

Seokjin sighs heavily.

"She never asked anything from us, she did things for us that we didn't even know about without shoving it in our faces. She never even asked us to love her, but we do. I do, Hoseok. I love her, no matter how much you all beg me not to."

Seokjin tilts Hoseok's face tenderly.

"I do love her, Hobi. Don't you, too?"

Hoseok knows to himself that he does.

Seokjin is wrong. Hoseok's never really been neutral at all. Stoic about it, yes; he didn't want to break apart the group, after all. But in his heart, he slowly but surely fell in love with you. There's nothing neutral about it, he just learned how to be quiet about it.

In the times he sees you (without you seeing him), he sees your kindness shine. In your industry and this cutthroat world, you never let those old money sons of bitches trample on you, but he has yet to see you be as callous and evil even towards those who deserve it.

He remembers seeing you almost cry in indignance when a project went wrong and threatened employment displacement for those who are not at fault, even when they're not your employees. He had been watching and listening in secret from afar, but he could see how you wanted to burn your office to the ground when you knew that taking an important and needed step would mean that hundreds of families might potentially lose stable income.

He had seen you go undercover in the middle of the night so you could almost buy out an entire convenience store, just so you could feed the homeless one cold night.

He had seen you adopt your (now nth) cat Nori because you had seen it lost and without its mother on the sidewalk.

He had seen you love them from afar and mask it when they're around, even when it hurts him to watch too because that's all he can do when his hands are tied and he's had to keep it to himself or risk hurting their group.

He's seen you love them unconditionally, but not beg an ounce of it back because that's how love should be.

He loves you for your kindness, and everything in between.

"It's okay to love her too," Seokjin says in his silence. "It's the right thing to do, Hobi. We don't have to get scared anymore, not when she would go to lengths to give us what she thinks we want.

"But I don't want that." Seokjin drops his hand, sniffing lightly. "I don't want to lose her, not before I can even love her properly. I never wanted that."

"I don't want that, too, but the others—"

"Will come around eventually on their own. It's not our responsibility to do it for them." Seokjin says.

"And if they don't?" Hoseok asks, eyes wide with questions.

Seokjin sighs. "Then we can do nothing for them. It'll be a regret they will have to carry for the rest of their lives."

---

Talking to Jimin went a whole lot easier than expected. He was neutral about the whole thing, but it didn't take long for Seokjin and Hoseok to convince him.

"Hey," Seokjin says in lieu of greeting as Jimin sits on the balcony of his suite. "Can we talk?"

"If this is about what I think it is, I'd rather—"

"Please, Chim." Hoseok is the one who speaks this time. "Hear us out first."

"But the group, hyung." Jimin shakes his head. "I can't risk losing anyone of you."

"On what, the expense of someone else's life? She nearly died, Jimin." He ignores the gasps from both Jimin and Hoseok's lips. "She nearly died."

"What?" Hoseok speaks again. "You never told me this."

Seokjin sighs, his eyes shutting in pain as his mind flashes back to your prone figure lying on the hospital bed. "Yeah," he croaks. "She had to undergo surgery due to some heart damage, and she's in a coma right now."

"Coma?!" Hoseok and Jimin shout in unison. "What do you mean 'coma'?" Jimin stutters.

"She has to recover, so they put her there to help her heal..." Seokjin trails off.

When Seokjin doesn't continue, Hoseok asks, "But?"

"She's still in critical condition. They're not sure if she'll wake up."

"When she'll wake up," Hoseok tries to correct, but Seokjin shakes his head.

"If, Hobi. She had been so sick that she nearly died."

Silence befalls the three of them.

"How's Jungkook?" Jimin eventually asks, to which Seokjin shakes his head gloomily.

"He didn't take it too well. He got into a fight with Jackson."

"That asshole, again?!" Jimin bursts out but Seokjin stops him.

"As much as it pains me to say this, he has more rights to be there than we frankly do. Maybe legally as much, too."

"What?" Hoseok asks. "What do you mean by that?"

"I can't go into technicalities right now. My brain's too fried." Seokjin rubs his aching temples. "But when we left her, Jackson was there for her. She trusts him with everything, and I can't blame her."

"So we can't go see her?" Hoseok whimpers.

"We can." The other two sigh in relief. "But we can't touch her."

"Fuck that, I don't care if I have to put my fist against Jackson's fa—"

"It's not that." Seokjin shakes his head for the nth time that night. "We'll burn her skin. It's a side effect of her treatment."

Jimin can't even describe the emptiness he's feeling right now. When it comes to you, he has always chosen not to get too involved, not when he thinks it can tear their group apart. He doesn't want that, so better be safe than sorry.

Right now, however, he thinks that what was supposed to be safe turned out to be the biggest sorry.

"I'm sorry," Jimin whispers. "It wouldn't be like this had I not been detached from this."

Hoseok shakes his head. "We're all at fault here, remember? We all agreed to this, so there's no sense taking that burden by yourself." But even he feels the same way, the regret heavy in his gut.

"So what do we do now?" They both turn to Seokjin. "We're not banned from seeing her, are we?" Hoseok asks.

"No," Seokjin says firmly. "It would take more than that to ban us by law. We're still her soulmates, after all."

"Can we go visit her?" Jimin asks.

"Not right now, Chim." Seokjin smiles sadly. "We all had a long day, and we still have a lot of things to talk about, so I suggest we take some rest. Okay?"

Hoseok and Jimin look ready to disagree, but both sigh in defeat. Unbeknownst to them, Taehyung is listening in to the whole conversation. When he hears the suggestion to take some rest, he quickly but silently exits out of the room.

---

They all slept fitfully that night. Every time Seokjin tries to close his eyes, all he sees is your figure lying helplessly on your hospital bed. When his body eventually gives in to exhaustion, he dreams of losing you over and over again.

It was horrendous.

He wakes up to a weight on his chest, figuratively and literally.

Jungkook has his arm slung over Seokjin's waist, head tucked between his shoulder and neck. He's sniffling, clearly crying.

"Come 'ere." Seokjin wraps his arm around Jungkook's shoulder. "It's gonna be okay."

"We don't know that," Jungkook sniffs.

"It will be." Seokjin squeezes his arm gently. "We're not yet done making it up to her, so it will be. We haven't even started yet, so we can't lose hope. Not right now, not when she needs us."

"I just want her to be okay," Jungkook sobs.

"And I do, too. But all we can do right now is fight for her." He kisses Jungkook's hair, petting it gently to calm him down. "We can't afford to lose hope if we need to fight for her. Okay?"

Jungkook nods.

"We can visit her again soon. You and me, and Jimin and Hobi."

Jungkook pulls away slightly. "They will?"

Seokjin nods, and Jungkook puts his head back on his chest. "I talked to them last night. It was pretty easy to convince them."

If only it is easy to convince all of them, the thought hangs heavy in the air.

"Hyung?" Jungkook asks after a while. Seokjin just hums. "Do you ever think of what could have been if we didn't turn her away?"

"All the time," Seokjin admits. "I try not to because it's painful, but I always do.

"She's not hard to love." Seokjin swallows the pain in his throat, willing himself not to cry. "She's lovely and kind, and she never once asked us to love her back. That's what stands out the most for me because that love is unconditional."

A tear finally falls from his eye.

"I cannot imagine what pain she went through at all, and I still can't bring myself to because if I do, it'll be the end for me." He shakes his head. "She nearly died because of love—it was supposed to be the other way around. It was supposed to breathe life into you."

"Hyung..." Jungkook whimpers.

"I'm sorry," Seokjin says as he wipes the tears from his eyes. He doesn't know if he's saying sorry for crying, or for the things he failed to do for you.

"I feel like I don't deserve to cry because I failed her."

"That's not true, hyung. You didn't fail her. We'll still fight for her, won't we? That's not failing her."

Seokjin doesn't answer.

"I love you, hyung."

He hugs Jungkook tighter. "I love you too, Kook-ah."

---

The first thing that Seokjin does in the morning is to call Sejin, which was apparently expected of him because Sejin didn't even bat an eyelash, just agreed to come over and talk.

"Hear me out first, please," Seokjin says first thing when he arrives.

Sejin stares him down before sighing in defeat. "I already know where this is heading, Seokjin. I've seen you grow up and I know you better than yourselves sometimes."

"I know, Sejin-nim. But I can't, for the life of me, not try to make things right."

Sejin shakes his head. "You've fucked around, and all of you found out. This is what this is. I can't undo this for you this time."

"I'm not asking you to undo it, Sejin-nim. I'm just asking for your help. We just want to see her as much as we can."

Sejin's expression is pinched.

"She specifically asked not to let you interact with her unless it's for work. My hands are tied."

Seokjin shakes his head, desperation bleeding from his tired eyes. "What she doesn't know won't hurt her. We'll be out of there before she even wakes up."

"I—"

"Please, Sejin-nim. She doesn't even need to know."

Sejin takes a moment to respond. He takes a look at the kid he helped raise, at the tired slope of his shoulders and the despair in his eyes.

"Okay." However, before Seokjin can even react, Sejin raises his hand, "But, I have to warn you not to do stupid shit like picking fights with Jackson, as tempting as that sounds. His camp warned us last night."

"We're her soulmates," Seokjin says.

"But Jackson is made next of kin, and he can have you hauled out of the room if he wants to. He just chooses not to for [Name]. So please, be the sensible one."

Seokjin sighs in relief and nods. "Thank you, Sejin-nim."

"Are you taking Jungkook with you?" Sejin asks.

"And Hoseok and Jimin," Seokjin lists. "I'll have them behave, I promise."

Sejin's eyebrows raise at that. "You talked to them?"

Seokjin nods. "Last night. It was pretty easy considering they're both neutral about everything."

"How about the others?"

A shake of the head. "I haven't talked to them," Seokjin says softly. "I can't face them just yet."

Sejin just looks at him and nods. "I understand."

"Can you please ensure that Jackson's not there every time we visit her?"

Sejin nods. "That's easy, but I can't promise that every time. Jackson can only stay or visit for a few days because of his world tour. He's also gearing up for his new album, I think. I'll have to check that out."

Seokjin only nods. He'll take what he can have with you, and he's not about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"I also need to talk to her soul therapist," Seokjin says. "I have to know if there is something we can do to help her heal faster."

Sejin narrows his eyes.

"Is that really all, Seokjin?" When Seokjin opens his mouth to refute him, Sejin shakes his head at him. "I just said I know you better than yourself sometimes. This is one of those times."

Fuck.

How can he tell Sejin that he wants to be able to love you wholly and alive without the therapy present? He knows he can't do it with you undergoing the soul-scraping therapy, so he can only think of one way to do it.

"I... I want to know if there is any way her therapy treatments can be stopped." Seokjin swallows. "I can't let her suffer any longer than she already had. I want it to stop."

Sejin tsks. "You do realize that it can't be stopped like that, can it? It cannot be reversed like that. She's under research, for heaven's sake!"

"We don't know that!" Seokjin exclaims. "Maybe it can be stopped, and she can heal slowly. Treatments are being stopped when not working all the time!"

"It is working, and it is not your decision to make, Seokjin!" Sejin's temper flares. "It's not your call to make, not your decision or say, and not your signature on the damn dotted line. Regardless if you're her soulmate, I won't let you do that to her because that's breaking her trust."

"Letting her die is breaking her trust?!"

"Think twice before you say anything further if I were you, Seokjin." Sejin shakes his head in disbelief. "Who put her there in the first place, me? I was merely a messenger."

And he's right, isn't he? It's not Sejin's fault after all. Sejin puts his hands on Seokjin's shoulders gently.

"I understand and want your happiness too, Seokjin. But it's not our call to make." Sejin pauses. "What if this is what she's happy with? Would you take this from her just to make yourself happy?"

"B—but she's dying!" Seokjin sputters. "I don't care about my happiness at this point. I'd rather she hate me alive than see her die."

"It'll be up to the doctors to do their job, and we have to trust them, okay? She'll be okay. She's a fighter, she'd get through this alive."

Seokjin can only nod in defeat.

"I can set up an appointment with Dr. Im, but that's all I can do. I doubt he'll let you stop the treatments, and that's all we can do at this point."

"Okay, Sejin-nim." Seokjin smiles weakly at him. "Thank you."

"Now go get some more rest. God knows you need it."

---

"Jackson's going to be there, so please no picking fights." When none of the four men in the car answers, Sejin continues. "I'm looking at you, Jungkook."

"Yes, Sejin-nim."

"For her sake, let's keep it civil. I've talked to his camp, and they promised to keep him in check, but regardless if he picks a fight, don't be baited."

"Yes, Sejin-nim," they all repeat.

It had been a week since they last saw you. They've been trying to visit more frequently, but they still have appearances and commitments they need to fulfill. It's hard, playing pretend like everything is fine, especially with the other three, but they have no choice or everything will fall apart.

Sejin had been giving the same pep talk every time their visit overlapped with Jackson's. No matter how it grates them, what with Jackson's side comments, they have to endure it. Anything just to see you.

The first visit almost didn't go well. Jackson had been there and it had been bearable, yes, but Hoseok and Jimin didn't expect what they would find when they arrived.

Their reactions were similar if not the same as how Jungkook and Seokjin reacted the first time they saw you. They did this to you, how can they possibly make it up to you in this state?

"Now you know what you did," Jackson says, "you can leave her alone and never come back."

But the boys are anything but weak-willed.

They had been visiting as much as they could, much to Jackson's anger. Not that he can do anything about it. Being next of kin can only give him so much power over them being your soulmates.

"Here again?" Jackson sneers once they reach your room. "You're not needed here, and you're not welcome here either, so why don't you all just leave?"

Seokjin's jaw ticks but he says nothing, just sits on the comfy sofa of your presidential suite. Hoseok silently replaces the flowers in the vase with the ones he brought just for you. Sunflowers, he knows you like them and it suits you just as well.

"Jackson," his manager says. "You're needed for the shoot in an hour. We need to go."

Jackson huffs in annoyance and the four men can barely keep their glee off their faces.

"Fine. But we'll be back later, yes?"

His manager nods tiredly, apparently desperate to hurry him out of there.

Jackson stands by your bedside and caresses your hair softly before leaning down to kiss you on the forehead with a tender smile on his face. "I'll be back later, okay? Wait for me." You didn't respond, the machines around you beeping in your silence.

It takes all of Jungkook not to punch him in the face for the blatant display of affection, knowing the other men present can't do it with you.

Jackson leaves but not before sparing you a longing glance.

"I want to punch him in the face," Jungkook says once Jackson left. "I won't, but I want to."

"Please don't," Seokjin says tiredly. "Sejin-nim made us promise."

"And besides, his world tour will start in a few days, Kook-ah." Hoseok says, trying to cheer the youngest. "Just a few days, okay? You won't have to see his face for months after that."

Jungkook just smiles weakly, happy at the prospect of seeing you freely without that asshole hanging around like a pest.

It's then that Doctor Choi comes in.

"Ah, gentlemen. You're here again," he smiles at them. It will never stop stinging, the way the doctor always seems surprised seeing them every time they visit you. It's not for no reason, they know, but it will always hurt nonetheless. They all give their greetings and give way for the doctor to make his examination, Jimin giving out their gloves. Once Doctor Choi is done, he turns to face them.

"I would normally ask where the Next of Kin is but seeing as he's not present and you're her soulmates, it should be fine."

"Why, Doctor-nim? Is anything wrong with [Name]?" Jungkook asks anxiously.

The doctor smiles at them and shakes his head. "Not at all. In fact, I have some good news."

They all perk up at that.

"Miss [Last Name] has been responding well to the treatments so far, so we've decided to take her out of her coma."

Relief floods through the four other men in the room.

"Really?" Seokjin asks hopefully. "So she'll wake up soon?"

"Hopefully, yes. She should start waking up soon once we administer the drug to wake her up."

"Thank you so much, Doctor-nim." Hoseok smiles widely for the first time in what feels like ages.

"Mr. Kim, I believe you have an appointment with Doctor Im, yes?" Doctor Choi asks Seokjin.

"Yes, Doctor-nim. Is he in?"

"Yes, he is. He asked to let you know that he'll be speaking with you later."

"Thank you, Doctor-nim."

When Doctor Choi leaves, all three men turn to Seokjin.

"What was that about, hyung?" Jimin asks.

"Nothing you guys should worry about." When they stare at him skeptically, he sighs. "Seriously, it's nothing you should be worried about. I just want to ask some questions about [Name]'s treatments."

The other three thankfully decide to let it go.

They all fuss over you as much as they are allowed to but Jungkook is notably silent.

"Hey," Hoseok says quietly to Jungkook. "You alright?"

Jungkook smiles weakly. "Yeah."

Hoseok shakes his head. "You don't need to lie to hyung."

Jungkook looks at him and bites his lower lip. "It's just that once [Name] wakes up, we might not see her as much as we want to."

Hoseok falls silent at that. He honestly hadn't thought of it that way. Seokjin, having caught their conversation, shakes his head.

"No," he says firmly. "Don't think of it that way because we will find a way."

"But—"

"No 'buts'," Seokjin shakes his head. "We can't give up just yet, no matter what."

Seokjin's right, they can't give up just yet. If every setback will deter them, they will get nowhere in making it up to you.

Their silence is broken when Seokjin is called by Sejin for his appointment with Doctor Im. When he leaves, Jungkook asks the one question plaguing their mind.

"What do you think it is for?"

Jimin shrugs, completely at a loss himself. He had been noticing Seokjin being out of sorts these past few days, but he chalked it up to him worrying over [Name]'s health, as well as the group's well-being.

"I can't see any other reason other than him checking up on [Name]'s condition. It's not like he'll be signing up for the soul-scraping therapy himself, I know he won't." Hoseok says seriously. "We'll just have to trust him when he said it's nothing to worry about."

In a way, they are correct. As Seokjin sits across from Doctor Im in his office, he can't help but feel like he's betraying all of the trust given to him by the people he loves. You, and the rest of the group.

"So Mr. Kim," Doctor Im starts, "I heard from you Manager that you wish to speak to me about Miss [Last Name]. Is that correct?"

Seokjin fidgets in his seat. "Yes, Doctor Im."

Doctor Im levels him with a look, not dissimilar to Manager Sejin on that morning.

"I think I know where this is going, Mr. Kim. Is this about her therapy?"

Seokjin can only nod, feeling like a deer in the headlights. The Doctor sighs.

"If my guess is correct, you would want her to be pulled out, which I unfortunately cannot do. For one, she's in the middle of a worldwide research. And even if she's not, only she can consent to stop the treatments. Otherwise, it will be a breach of patient-doctor confidentiality."

"But will it be a breach if I'm acting on behalf of her as her soulmate?"

Doctor Im, instead of getting angry as he expected, only smiles.

"Unfortunately so, still. Part of the contract for soul-scraping patients states that unless they explicitly step down from the research, nobody can do it on their behalf.

Seokjin's heart drops to his stomach. Doctor Im just smiles softly.

"If you don't mind me overstepping, there was a bond rejection early on between you and Miss [Last Name], isn't there?"

Seokjin nods forlornly. "On our part, regretfully, yes."

"I see." Doctor Im hums. "That's interesting."

Seokjin says nothing.

"I'm afraid I cannot help you with this, Mr. Kim. Unless Miss [Last Name] steps down from the research, we are to continue with her in it. I hope you understand."

"But will it not be dangerous, especially after what happened to her?" Seokjin pauses. "I really don't know how to say this without being disrespectful because I know you're just doing your job, but maybe she can be made aware of what can happen if she continues with the therapy."

Again, instead of getting angry, Doctor Im just chuckles. Seokjin just looks at him like he's grown two heads.

"My apologies," Doctor Im waves him off. "It's just really interesting considering your history with her."

"I had no choice," Seokjin defends himself. "I sadly had no choice, and I didn't know what to do."

"Forgive me for being frank, but you always have a choice. But I do understand now where you're coming from.

"From a professional point of view, you'll be hindering my research and I would have to say no," Doctor Im pauses. "But I've seen enough cases like yours that end in regret and pain more than the freedom the patients thought they'd be getting. And Miss [Last Name], she's so young, way too young to be in this situation."

A terse pause.

"I cannot promise anything, Mr. Kim. I can only tell her what can happen if she wishes to continue with the treatments, but nothing else. Everything else is up to her."

And that is enough for Seokjin. He just hopes you'll stop altogether.

"Thank you, Doctor-nim."

Doctor Im nods with a gentle smile. "I'm aware Doctor Choi spoke to you earlier and told you that we'll administer the drug to wake Miss [Last Name] sometime this week, am I correct?"

"Yes."

"The effects might take some time to manifest, so don't be disappointed if she doesn't wake up right away. Okay?"

"Okay, Doctor-nim."

Seokjin rises from his seat just as Doctor Im rises from his as well.

"Thank you for taking the time to see me, Doctor Im."

Doctor Im nods kindly.

"No matter what happens, you will always have a choice. That's what I always tell my patients."

"Yes, Doctor-nim."

---

It has been three days since, and they're taking you out of your coma. The boys know you will not wake up right away, but they can't help but feel disappointed when you don't wake up once the drug has been administered.

"What matters right now is she'll be okay," Hoseok says. "She'll be okay."

"Yeah," Seokjin can only hope you'll change your mind about the treatments once you wake up. "She'll be okay."

---

Heavy.

Your body feels heavy the moment you wake up.

You try to speak, but the tubes in your throat prevent you from doing so. You try to lift your arms, but it feels like they're made of lead.

"She's awake! Hyung, she's awake!"

You can't decipher the rest of the words being spoken as you succumb back to the darkness, unaware of the chaos around you.

---

The second time you wake, your body feels a little lighter than before.

There's a mop of curls on your bed and a gloved hand wrapped around yours, the figure appearing to have fallen asleep.

Your eyes are bleary, and you can't see who it is.

"J...Jackson?"

You squeeze the hand around yours and they slowly rouse.

"Jackson...?"

The figure finally wakes.

"You're awake," the deep-voiced figure says. Had you not been drugged and still hazy, you would have noticed the awe in their voice and the emotions being spoken in those two words.

And that the figure is definitely not Jackson.

"You're here." You smile placidly. "You're here."

The figure nods, face obscured by the darkness of the room. Only the light of the lamp by the corner illuminates the otherwise dark room.

"I'm here."

"Not dead?" you ask.

The figure shakes their head.

"No. Thankfully not."

You nod, the last vestiges of your consciousness slowly slipping.

"Don't... don't leave."

Silence.

"Don't leave, m'kay?"

The figure nods again.

"I won't this time."

Satisfied, you fall back to sleep.

----

*cardi b's voice* wha' is that?????

[maestroagustdgeniuslab]

В Корее уже несколько часов как 15 августа 🔥🔥🔥

[all-of-the-good-ones-are-taken]

Agust D | Interlude : Dream, Reality (2016)

[oddinary4bts]

Oooooooooof I was recommended this fic and gosh ahdidbqiaos I don’t even have words it is so well-written like?? Hali you are so talented gosh I’m screaming

Needless to say, Yoongi is very hot. BUT??? How dare you give him a full sleeve tattoo?? He’s literally a dream at this point🫣

The smut🥵🥵 gosh I read this at the clinic and I was like OOP 😂

I really like the characters in this!! Was that jealousy from Yoongi when she was washing the dishes with Jungkook tho?👀👀

Anyway, can’t wait to read the next chapter tomorrow!!✨

Mixtape | One | myg (m)

❀ Pairing: Yoongi x f. reader

❀ Summary: Growing up with Yoongi as your older brother’s best friend was bound to manifest a crush. It was small, fleeting. Gone with age and time. On a holiday trip to the cabin, you’re reunited with Yoongi after not seeing him for two years. Maybe that crush wasn’t as over as you thought it was.

❀ Word Count: 15,236

❀ Genre: Older brothers best friend, f2l, a lil’ angst

❀ Rating: 18+ Minors are strictly prohibited from engaging and reading this content. It contains explicit content and any minors discovered reading or engaging with this work will be blocked immediately. 

❀ Warnings: Explicit language, implied age gap (three years), OC experiences light teasing for her crush, light depictions of anxiety, light depictions of self-deprecating thoughts, perceived unrequited feelings, a little bit of pining, drinking alcohol, recreational uses of marijuana, mentions of vomiting when drunk, depictions of drinking and being drunk, OC and Jungkook have some social anxiety and it’s described, multiple time skips to start (i’m sorry) Yoongi being a little bit of a fuckboy, general awkwardness from multiple characters, sexually explicit comment including: oral (f. receiving), fingering (f. receiving), voyeurism if you squint, cum-eating, Yoongi being caught in bathrooms multiple times, dirty talk

❀ Published: May 30, 2022

❀ A/N: Hi hello this is my updated author’s note as I re-do my masterlist formatting. This series is still largely unedited, but maybe one day I will get to it. It is near and dear to my heart, and often what people know me for writing. I hope you enjoy, despite this writing style being completely different than what I do now. Mixtape had a birthday in April and it’s crazy to think how different my writing is from when I wrote this originally. Also please note: 

❀ Disclaimer: All members of BTS are faces and name claims for this story. This is entirely a work of fiction and by no means is meant to be a projection, judgment or representation of real-life people. Any scenarios or representations of the people and places mentioned in works are not representative of real-life scenarios.

Masterlist | Ask | Playlist | Series Masterlist | Next Chapter | 

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[magic-shop-stories]

Hiii!!! Could I request Namjoon x f!reader boyfriend head-canons like how you did the Yoongi ones?? Also, preferably with a reader who’s American? But you can totally do whatever!!! Ty!!!

💌 Reply:

I really wanted to write this for all the members, so thank you for requesting it... I hope it's what you wanted, tho I struggled a lot this time, I didnt want it to be too much like Yoongis but I think they wouldn't be THAT different in some points so idk... hope you'll enjoy reading xo - c -

BOYFRIEND HEADCANONS

↳ NAMJOON (RM) × FEM!READER

~ CONTENT WARNING FOR SECOND PART OF THE POST ~ MATURE THEMES | (extra warning in the post)

Possessive behavior

Suggestive themes

Mild NSFW references (kissing, intimacy)

Jealousy Proceed mindfully!

DAILY RHYTHM

Mornings

Early Riser

Slow Starter

awake by 6:30 AM

not by choice

his brain won’t shut off

you find him sprawled on the couch

hair mussed

he's scribbling poetry in a moleskine

glasses slide down his nose

he mutters

“Do you think Thoreau would’ve liked Spotify playlists?”

Coffee Catastrophe

brews matcha lattes

spills half the whisked foam trying to carry it to you

“It’s… abstract art,” 

wiping green splatters off the counter

leaves a sticky note: 

“Compensation latte en route. Don’t judge me.”

Breakfast Buffet

creates a fusion spread:

avocado toast with gochujang drizzle strawberry Pop-Tarts, sliced persimmons

“It’s a metaphor,”  “Sweet, spicy, existential.”

Post-Wakeup Rituals

Study Sessions

his “studio” is a sunlit corner cluttered with art books, bonsai clippings, and a half-built LEGO Guggenheim

you perch on the arm of his chair

he pulls you into his lap without looking up from his sketchpad

“Your elbow’s on my Hegel annotations,”

grumbles, but lets you stay

Tug-of-War

if you try to leave, he hooks a finger in your belt loop

“Wait; listen to this haiku about cicadas.” 

recites it solemnly

“…It’s about us. Maybe.”

Clumsy Affection

reaches for a high-five

misses, and accidentally knocks over his succulent

“This is why we can’t have nice things,” 

you sigh

he repots it with dirt-smudged hands

“Imperfection is art. Like us.”

Midday Moments

Park Philosopher

drags you to Han River

rambling about “the duality of ducks” 

tossing breadcrumbs grain kernels

you nap under a tree

he sketches you with a pocket watercolor set

“You’re my Starry Night...” 

later showing you a blotchy but earnest portrait

Language Exchange

you teach him your slang

“Yeet is a verb, noun, and lifestyle”

he corrects your Korean tones

"Saranghae isn’t a whisper, it’s a promise...” 

voice low enough to make you drop your iced coffee

Nighttime Nuances

Pre-Bed Brain Dump

reads Walden aloud until 1 AM

pausing to rant about capitalism

“Thoreau was a hypocrite but right... wait, did you just snore?”

Sleeping Style

starfishes across 75% of the bed

one arm slung over your waist

“You’re my… multiverse…” 

snores lightly

you kick his shin = he rolls over

taking the sheets hostage

KEY DIALOGUE

when you nag him to hydrate:

“You’re worse than my ARMY Bomb manual.” 

sighs

handing you a reusable water bottle

catch him nodding off mid-lecture about climate change:

“I’m not… tired. I’m processing.”

mumbles, glasses askew

then faceplanting into his copy of Braiding Sweetgrass

his version of “I miss you”:

“Your absence disrupts my entropy.” 

translates to: “Come cuddle before I combust.”

COMMUNICATION

TEXTING STYLE

7 AM:��screenshot of the sunrise

“Thoreau was right. Also, buy almond milk.”

3 PM: voice note of him beatboxing over a Langston Hughes poem

caption: “New mixtape: Existential Crisis & Chill.”

Midnight: 

“The moon’s waxing gibbous. Come stargaze. P.S. I made hot chocolate...”

Notes

scribbles Whitman quotes on museum tickets

leaves one in your coat: 

“We were together. I forget the rest... Or I won’t.”

finds your grocery list

adds “Admiration (1 lifetime supply)” at the bottom

PET NAMES

Public:

“Professor” 

when you out-debate him

“Okay, Professor, explain TikTok to me again.”

“Sunflower” at the farmer’s market

“Because you’re tall, bright, and… rooted.” 

blushes at his own metaphor

Private:

“내 작은 폭풍” (My little storm) 

when you’re angry

“Your rage is… awe-inspiring. Also, please stop throwing socks.” “Moonchild” 

whispered during late-night drives

“You glow even when the world’s dark.”

CURSING

Worried Curses

you come home late?

he’s pacing

wearing mismatched socks

“씨발… I Googled ‘American urban crime rates’ and now you’re here?!” 

crushes you in a hug

“Never do that again. Unless… it’s for tacos.”

sees you struggling with IKEA instructions

“젠장, capitalism wins again.” 

builds the shelf upside-down but insists it’s “postmodern.”

Flustered Curses

wear that dress

he knocks over his bonsai

“…God.” 

avoids eye contact

“It’s not fair. You’re a distraction.”

MUTTERINGS (UNFILTERED & UNBOTTLED)

Annoyed Affection

“Why are you so… effortlessly disruptive?” 

when you reorganize his bookshelves by color

“This is chaos. Beautiful chaos.”

steal his fries

he gasps

“This is why empires fall.” 

slides the plate closer to you

Sleep-Soft Confessions

half-asleep, nuzzling your neck

“Your thoughts taste like honey.” 

next morning: 

“Did I say that out loud? Pretend I didn’t.”

after nightmares: 

“Stay. Please. You’re my… sine qua non.”

doesn’t explain it

doesn’t need to

HIDDEN POETRY (FOR YOUR EARS ONLY)

Lyric Leaks

overhear him humming a melody while washing dishes

later, find a note: 

“Your voice in the morning... key of G, tempo adagio.”

Satoori Slips

stress unlocks rural roots

after a long day, he sighs:

“나 죽겠다… (I’m dying…) But your smile is CPR.”

Artistic Vulnerability

leaves a watercolor of your hands in his studio

caption: “These built my universe.”

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER

Overprotective Tendencies

mention a creepy DM?

next day, he gifts you a leather-bound journal titled “Digital Detox: A Poet’s Guide to Privacy.” 

inside, he’s handwritten firewall tips in calligraphy

“Knowledge is armor. Also, I enabled two-factor authentication.”

Passive-Aggressive Love

complain about slow Wi-Fi?

builds a DIY bookshelf router

cites its design in a TED Talk

“It’s a metaphor… for connection.”

Services

you’re sick?

attempts chicken noodle soup but confuses cumin with cinnamon

“It’s… experimental fusion cuisine.” 

orders pho instead and blames the app

“The algorithm chose this. Don’t hate me.”

Jetlag Rescue

after your flight from the U.S., he stocks the fridge with Dr Pepper and kale smoothies

“Balanced electrolytes… or something.”

VULNERABLE MOMENTS (PHILOSOPHER’S EDITION)

When You’re Hurt

sees you crying over homesickness

recites Mary Oliver until you’re laughing through tears

“You don’t have to be good… but you do have to let me hug you.”

Post-Fight Peace Offering

leaves a dog-eared copy of “The Alchemist” on your pillow

highlighted line: 

“Wherever your heart is, that is where you’ll find your treasure.”  sticky note: “You’re my treasure. Even when you’re mad.”

Drunk Truths

tipsy on soju

traces the outline of your face

“Your smile… it’s like a haiku. Simple. Perfect. Destroys me.”

ask him to explain

"Just… let me live here.”

UNEXPECTED SOFTNESS

Period Protocol

tracks your cycle via moon phases

“Lunar energy affects us all.” 

leaves dark chocolate and a hot water bottle shaped like Totoro

“Science and Studio Ghibli. Optimal healing.”

Bad Day Rituals

finds you crying over burnt cookies

bakes a “deconstructed s’more” (graham crackers, Hershey’s, lighter)

“It’s abstract. Like Rothko.”

Cultural Comforts

wears your college hoodie for a week (way too small)

“It smells like you. And… ranch dressing?” 

secretly buys a duplicate to avoid giving it back

FIERCE LOVE

Defending Your Honor

Karen mocks your Korean accent?

steps in, voice calm but firm

“Language is a living art. Hers is a masterpiece.” 

later, he rage-paints a canvas

titled “Ignorance in Primary Colors.”

Sacrifices

attends a crowded frat party to meet your friends

smiles through “Beer Pong 101” 

quoting Thoreau: “Simplify, simplify… but this is hell.”

UNEXPECTED VULNERABILITY

Period Protocol

leaves a care package:

organic tea, a heated blanket, and a handwritten “Period Playlist” (featuring Mitski and BTS’s “Zero O’Clock”)

“Pain is temporary. My love? Thermodynamically infinite.”

Bad Day Rituals

finds you crying over a failed work project?

recites “Still I Rise” while kneading your shoulders

“You’re Maya Angelou in Prada. Now let’s rise… to order takeout.”

COLD FRONT

Silent Treatment

hurt?

he buries himself in Nietzsche

texts: “When you stare into the abyss… it’s just me waiting for you to apologize.”

Playful Insults Gone Wrong

jokes about his “dad sneakers.” 

buys neon Yeezys and wears them to a museum

“Aesthetic rebellion. Now suffer with me.”

NEGLECTED NIGHTS

Overwork Blinders

disappears for days writing his mixtape

returns with a bonsai tree 

“It’s a metaphor. Needs patience… like us.”

Breaking Point:

unplug his laptop mid-session

he fumes: “Art isn’t a hobby...it’s my lungs!” 

returns at dawn with a handwritten poem: 

“Apologies in iambic pentameter. Forgive me?”

GIFTS

Philosophical Pampering

gifts you a first-edition copy of "Leaves of Grass" with annotations in the margins

“Page 32; Whitman’s wrong. You’re the answer to the universe.”

Eco-Warrior Love

buys noise-canceling headphones made from recycled ocean plastic

“Now you can ignore the world and save it.”

PRETENDS TO HATE SHOPPING (BUT LOVES BOOKSTORES)

Reluctant Mule

drag him to a flea market

complains about “consumerist dystopias” 

but buys a vintage globe to “track our future travels”

carries your tote bag like a badge of honor

“This is not a metaphor. My arms hurt.”

Secret Splurges

catches you eyeing a $500 art print of Georgia O’Keeffe’s “Black Iris”

returns with a bootleg version he painted himself

“Mine’s better. It has… soul.”

Fashion Critic (Liar)

try on a prairie dress

“You look like a Laura Ingalls Wilder reboot.” 

later orders it

HATES WHEN YOU GET DRUNK

(BUT LOVES YOUR HONESTY)

Philosophical Guardian

finds you tipsy at a party

debating “the existential merit of TikTok” with Jungkook

sweeps you over his shoulder

quoting Thoreau: “Simplify, simplify… starting with your liquor intake.”

Morning-After Mercies

wakes you with avocado toast and a "matcha IV drip"

“Electrolytes and antioxidants. Also, I Googled hangover cures in MLA format.”

Secret Worry

texts your college bestie and Jungkook: 

“Keep her at 2 margaritas. Third one turns her into a teen.”

MARRIAGE (POETIC AMBUSH)

Fight

he skips a wedding expo

call him a “commitment-phobe”

snaps: “Marriage is a capitalist construct!” 

you retaliate: “Then why’d you bookmark eco-friendly ring blogs?!”

Ring

minimalist band

engraved with coordinates to the Han River bench where he first said “I love you”

hides it in his Walden copy

find it mid-rant about “transcendentalist proposals”

Proposal

after a fight about his workaholism

projects a poem onto your apartment wall: 

“Forever is a fractal. Let’s get lost in the pattern.” 

“Marry me. Or let’s debate it over kombucha.”

FATHERHOOD

(THE GREAT PHILOSOPHICAL CRISIS)

Panic

mention kids?

he freezes, spilling matcha on his “I Heart NY” shirt

“…We killed a cactus. A cactus.” 

buys a fern named “Baby Freud”

it thrives

he's trying extra hard (bc he secretly really really really wants to)

Test Run

volunteers at an orphanage to read “The Little Prince”

returns with a kid’s crayon drawing

titled “Namjoon Hyung is Weird”

frames it

“Art is truth.”

Revelation

catches you watching a video of him teaching ARMYs to recycle

a toddler comments: “He’s pretty… for a teacher.” 

he mutes it, cheeks pink

“…She’s not wrong.”

ARGUMENTS & FEARS

Fight

you suggest naming your son “Thoreau”

chokes on his kimchi

“We’re not naming a human after a guy who hated people!” 

compromises with “Jun”

“It means truth. And I picked it.”

Fear

finds him researching “How to Raise a Feminist Son” at 3 AM

slams the laptop

“…But what if I’m worse? What if I lecture him about Hegel?”

THE ARRIVAL

Pregnancy

reads “The Giving Tree” to your belly every night

records the kicks as a lo-fi beat titled “Kicks of Hope”.

Birth Day

holds your hand while reciting Rumi

passes out when the doctor says “push”

wakes up sobbing

“You’re my supernova.”

First Night Home

swaddles your daughter in a BTS-themed blanket

texts the group chat:

“She has her eyes. And my inability to shut up.” 

sends a voice memo of her coos over a Miles Davis sample

~ CONTENT WARNING ~

MINORS DNI | NSFW | SPICY INTIMACY/PHYSICALITY AHEAD

contains: possessive themes, sensual language, suggestive scenarios, jealousy, explicit intimacy/kissing,suggestive content, kink mentions (marking, power dynamics), body worship

PHYSICALITY & ARTISTIC AFFECTION

Protective Poise

Public Gestures

his hands are gentle but intentional

but they linger

thumb brushing the nape of your neck 

palm resting on the small of your back at gallery openings

fingers brushing yours as he passes you a book

palm sliding possessively down your spine

whisper: “That Picasso? Overrated. You’re the masterpiece.”

he’s less restrained at home

pulls you into impromptu slow dances in the kitchen

humming off-key to “Trivia: Love” while swaying

pins you against his bookshelf, philosophy tomes digging into your back

“Tell me I’m wrong."

lips grazing your earlobe: "Tell me Rothko’s red isn’t the same shade as your mouth.”

Clumsy Cuddles

tries to lift you for a spin

trips over the rug, and lands you both on the couch/bed

“Gravity’s a social construct anyway.” 

cheeks pink

instead of apologizing, he hovers above you

glasses askew

“Fate intervened. Now...”

Intellectual Rivalry (Jealousy, Joon-Style)

overhears a philosophy major flirting with you at a café

interrupts with a “casual” debate on Kant’s ethics

later, buys you first-edition Thoreau

“Just thought you’d appreciate… deeper conversations.”

Subtle Flex

shows up to your work event in a tailored suit

glasses perched low

“Oh, this old thing? Just felt like… elevating the dress code.”

CONTEMPLATIVE GAZES

Staring (But Make It Deep)

watches you sketch in the park

eyes tracking the way your brow furrows

“Your creativity… it’s like watching a storm form.”  “That’s your third metaphor today.”  he grins “I’m just getting started.”

Staring (But Make It Dangerous)

watches you slip into his oversized Harvard hoodie

eyes darkening as the fabric drapes off one shoulder

rasps: “You’re… violating the dress code.” then closes his laptop: “And I’m failing to care.”

Late-Night Honesty

post-museum date, he traces the curve of your collarbone with a pen cap 

“Your body’s a gallery. Every scar, every freckle... curated perfection.” 

kisses your shoulder

loosens his tie

voice a velvet rumble

“That dress should be illegal. You should be illegal.” traces the strap of your lingerie: "Sylvia Plath wrote about this, didn’t she? I am, I am, I am… yours.”

SECRETLY LOVES YOUR CONFIDENCE (BUT WILL WRITE A SONNET ABOUT IT)

Artful Admiration

Backhanded Praise

wear a bold, avant-garde outfit?

“You’re… a walking Dadaist exhibit.” 

later sketches you in charcoal

captioning it “Chaos Theory: Personified.”

wear a leather trench coat to his speech?

“You’re deconstructing the male gaze. Literally.”

sketches you, nude

Possessive Glances

spots a stranger eyeing you at a poetry slam

slides his arm around your waist

loudly debating “the hegemony of Western canon” until they flee

Possessive Academia

grad student flirts with you at a library?

he accidentally knocks over a stack of Derrida books

pulls you into a secluded aisle

“Let me… re-shelve your priorities.”

BEDROOM PHILOSOPHY

Foreplay (But Make It Existential)

reads Foucault aloud

voice dipping lower with every page

“Power is knowledge… and I know what you’re thinking.” 

slides his glasses off, eyes locked on yours

“Prove me wrong.”

prefers lights dim

Miles Davis on vinyl

whisper-reads Rilke as you straddle his lap

“Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.” 

hands grip your hips

“Still… focus, okay?”

Aftercare

braids your hair while dissecting the symbolism in “The Great Gatsby.” 

“Daisy’s voice is full of money… but yours? Full of… everything.”

TOUCH

Electric Prelude

hands speak in sonnets

calloused fingertips skimming your jawline

like a quill drafting verses

thumb brushing your bottom lip as if memorizing its shape for a poem

maps your skin like a cartographer charting undiscovered terrain

lingering at pulse points (wrist, throat, inner thigh) to sync his heartbeat with yours

“Your body’s a library,” “Let me… read you.”

Possessive Anchors

palm splayed against your lower back

pressing you closer until his chest meets yours

fingers tangled in your hair

tugging just enough to tilt your head for a kiss that starts as a whisper and ends as a manifesto

“You’re my magnum opus...”

breathes heavy, lips grazing your earlobe

“And I’m… revising.”

Aftercare Rituals

post-passion, he traces constellations on your hip with a philosopher’s precision

touch lingers on scars, birthmarks, the curve of your waist

pulls you into his chest

reciting Whitman into your hair

“We were together… I forget the rest.”

KISSES

Slow Ignition

starts with closed-mouth presses to your temple, knuckles, the corner of your lips

testing, teasing

when you gasp, he smirks

nipping your lower lip

“Impatient. Inelegant. Perfect.”

he's deep but controlled

Hidden Softness

after fights, his kisses are apologetic

chaste pecks to your eyelids, nose, scars on your knee/elbows

“Sorry… sorry…” - breathed like a prayer

leaves a haiku on your pillow: 

“Pride is a shadow / Your warmth is the sun / Forgive me.”

PACE

Deliberate Crescendo

prefers slow, maddening build-up

undresses you like unwrapping a first-edition novel

mouth exploring every chapter

= collarbones, ribs, the dip of your hips

taking forever before letting you fall apart

“You’ll take what I give you.” 

warns you at every whimper

eyes dark

“And I’ll give you… everything.”

Feral Surges

when jealousy strikes, he’s relentless

pins you against his studio wall

biting your shoulder as his hands roam

“Mine. Say it.” 

you whimper? he gentens

forehead pressed to yours

“Say it… please.”

POSITIONS

Scholar’s Missionary

your legs hooked over his shoulders

hands gripping the headboard for leverage

“Don’t hide,” he orders

he's watching your face unravel

“Let me… study you.”

Cowgirl Command (aka you're his "pro rider")

lets you take control

hands squeezing your hips

“Show me what you need.” 

the moment you falter, he flips you

"Thought so"

PREFERENCES

Lighting

pitch dark or very dim lights

pages of his journal scattered like rose petals

claims he “hates getting interrupted”

Soundtrack

your whimpers = his name gasped like a curse

demands “Louder,” 

then covers your mouth or lightly choked you

“Too loud. Save it for the encore.”

Kinks

Marking

leaves metaphorical bruises

"ink stains" on your inner thigh

“So you remember… I’m your muse.”

Power Play

lets you “bind” him with his own tie

then breaks free

"You really think you can handle me?"

ROUNDS

Quality > Quantity tho if you beg him for more he won't ever stop until you beg fot the opposite

Dawn Encores wakes you with his mouth between your thighs

voice sleep-rough

"You moan in your sleep baby..."

FAVORITE SPOTS

Neck-to-Shoulder Junction bites here to hear you yelp

soothes it with his lips and gentle kisses

“You taste like… victory.”

Behind Your Ear whispers filth in Korean

grinning when you shiver and even wider when you don't understand

Inner Wrists kisses your veins like they’re holy

���Every heartbeat’s… because of me.”

TRIGGERS

Begging

“Please, Joon...” 

he cuts you off with a snarl

“Not yet. Earn it.”

Competence

take charge!

ride him ruthlessly

he lets you

until he can't hold himelf back anymore

“Fuck… okay.” 

flips you mid-stride

then tales you from behind

Vulnerability

tears during aftercare?

crushes you to his chest

voice breaking

“I’ve got you. Always. I'm sorry - tell me what you need honey.”

[mariabtsos]

Nuts - ||k.nj||

Description: how had Namjoon ended up in this situation? What do you mean he had to actually make a connection instead of fucking your brains out?

Genre: Oneshot, Non-idol AU, Rapper!Namjoon x Makeup Artist f!reader, strangers-to-lovers, Too Hot To Handle inspired, SMUT SMUT SMUT!! Hopeful ending. 

Warnings: Namjoon is a bit of a player and full of himself, just smut overall with a hopefully balanced plot, eventually he’ll get back in touch with his feelings, this might be the longest oneshot I've written? Oral sex f receiving, fingering f receiving, grinding, slight exhibitionism.

Word Count: 8.5k+

Namjoon thought himself a reasonable person, horny, but reasonable. He never needed to go to extremes to get what he wanted, whether it be an artist he liked to feature on a song, or fuck the sexy girl that kept bringing champagne over to his table at club. She was leaning against the wall of some small maintenance closet, her back was arched as he pounded into her relentlessly.

Once they finished, he could tell she would want more, doing a not so subtle attempt at slipping her phone number into Namjoon’s back pocket. He smirked and walked out after fixing himself up, knowing full well this would be the last time he’d see her, Namjoon never came back for seconds once he had them. It was nothing against the women he slept with, he didn’t used to be this way, but a few instances of heartbreak and a toxic cycle of make up sex can lead one to denounce love all together and give into pure carnal desire.

Such was Namjoon’s case.

When he arrived at his table he noticed his manager, Jin, and his two best friends, Hoseok and Yoongi, did not receive him with the usual knowing smiles, granted, this time he hadn’t waited long to ditch them for some pussy. Namjoon usually gave it about an hour or two into an outing before temporarily or permanently leaving his friends, but he supposed tonight he really needed a quick fix.

“Why do y’all look like you’re mad at me?” he asked, taking a seat and picking at the chips and salsa that had been placed at the center of their table.

The VIP section of the club was nice, it had a great mix of different low and high-grade celebrities, Namjoon liked to think he was making his way up from the low end of the spectrum, now that he’d been picked up a small label and his mixtape would go from SoundCloud to mainstream platforms.

“We’ve barely been here for half an hour, Namjoon-ah,” Jin complained, holding the bridge of his nose between his index finger and his thumb, Namjoon just continued to stare at him confused. “Well, it’s not my fault, every time she was serving us drinks her tits were right there, and I don’t know if you noticed but they were beautifully proportioned,” he smiled cheekily.

His friends didn’t reciprocate it.

“The label signed you up for a reality show,” Jin stated bluntly, Namjoon almost thought he heard a record scratch, “why?”

“They think it’s good exposure for you,” the older shrugged, “plus it’s like a retreat, you get to stay in a villa with other people and you play games through the summer to win a cash prize.”

“Will I get to keep the cash prize when I win?” he asked, Yoongi and Hoseok sharing a look of annoyance at their friend’s cockiness.

Namjoon had never really been the cocky type, but once his mixtapes and albums started getting hundreds of thousands of streams, and girls seemed to follow him like bees in search of honey, he’d seemed to have his feet a little too far off the ground, and it got worse once he was signed to the label.

“The label is considering it if you create enough buzz around yourself.”

“Well then, I guess I have my work cut out for me,” he smiled, dimples on full display.

You kept refreshing your email every minute, you needed this opportunity, you needed this. It had been your dream since becoming a makeup artist to open your own salon. You were tired of taking clients in the small living room of your studio apartment.

You had been looking for an investor for months when you finally found one that had been interested in your business. He had arranged an interview with you and had asked for a portfolio of your work, just to see what you offered would be worth what you were asking, everything in the interview suggested it was. You were told to wait about a week for them to get back to you, and now that it had been a couple days after the week mark you were starting to get nervous.

The notification sound of a new email made your heart start to race.

From: Hwang Jongdae

Subject: Investment on 2!3! Beauty Salon

Good morning, miss Yn,

After careful consideration of your proposal, we have unfortunately decided that we will not move forward…

You didn’t need to read the rest of the lengthy email, you slammed your laptop shut, immediately reaching for your phone to call your sister, tears inevitably escaped your eyes as soon as she picked up your call.

“Ynie what’s wrong?” She asked, her face showing immediate concern. You explained the situation to her through sobs and snot.

“I don’t know what to do!”

“You could come out with me and Danbi, we are going to the club tonight, maybe you’ll find some rich drunk guy that will invest in your salon.”

You were apprehensive at first, but in the end here you were, in the middle of a night club making somewhat conversation with some guy who’d long taken off his suit jacket and tie, you weren’t planning on anything, you just wanted to someone to converse with since your sister and her girlfriend had ditched you to go dancing.

It wasn’t your fault you had ended up outside making out. You were just sad and needed some cheering up, making out with a stranger sounded like a quick fix, and maybe you’d get a room somewhere and you could enjoy the brief happiness that came with having a one night stand

“Well, I think, your story could make for great reality TV,” his speech was slightly slurred as he pulled away, a sign that the glass he was somehow still holding was definitely not one of the first ones he’d had tonight, “I’m casting this…um…competition show, you get to spend the summer in a pretty villa with pretty people and play games, you can win a SHIT load of money,” he kept leaning toward you, you had to hold back the urge to puke as his breath reeked of alcohol.

You were interested as soon as he mentioned money, you didn’t care what kind of competition it was, you would do anything to make your dream into reality, even if it meant participating in some stupid TV show and dealing with dumb people.

Namjoon was a bit upset about giving up his phone the night before their first day of shooting, but this retreat was meant to be a place where he could disconnect entirely. Which wasn’t an entirely bad idea, the past few weeks was mainly a lot of paperwork and filming his intro for the show, apparently, he’d be the “first to arrive.”

He was happy to see champagne set up on a hightop table, he served himself a glass and waited, other guys started showing up, and then the girls started showing up as well, and to say he was pleasantly surprised was an understatement, all the women were beautiful and when you walked in? 

Namjoon quickly knew that you'd be his target.

He was immediately attracted to you, for a moment he really thought that whoever was up there, if there was anyone, must've put you right there, you were exactly the type he went for when he looked for a quick lay. You were wearing a full body bathing suit, given that the villa was at a beachfront, like shows like these often were. Your hair was down in what he assumed was its natural form, and your make up accentuated your face's features beautifully.

The rest of the girls immediately went to greet you, while the men just stared and spoke amongst themselves about who they liked, it was mostly varied answers. The six girls were the stereotypical body type you’d see in shows like these, although some were definitely on the curvier side, all from different places, the guys were pretty much the same, all well built and mouth-watering.

“Okay so to catch you up to speed…um” one of the girls spoke.

“Yn”

“Right, we have all been scanning the boys and let me tell you, it’s going to be a bloodbath,” she chuckled, as did all the others. She introduced herself as Andrea, and the other girls introduced themselves shortly after.

They walked you over to where the high-tops were, and you would be lying if you said you didn’t notice the way the beautiful dragon-eyed man was devouring you with his gaze, and regardless of your small cover-up skirt and your full body bathing suit, you felt very much naked and aroused. If his gaze alone could do that, what could he do to you?. You had no time to calm your racing heart as he approached, his tall frame towered over you.

“Hey,” his voice sounded like honey, “my name is Namjoon, what’s yours?” he wasn’t subtle at all with the way his eyes trailed up and down your body.

“Yn,” you held your hand out to him “nice to meet you Namjoon,” he took it, bringing your knuckles up to his lips to kiss, you quickly took your hand away.

“What, you don’t like chivalry?”

“You don’t seem like the type to do it genuinely,” you admitted.

“Well, I guess I’ll just have to prove you wrong.”

Your neck was hurting badly, you didn’t realize how close he’d gotten to you, making his stature much more than what you had initially suspected. Namjoon enjoyed the vertical advantage, as it gave him a perfect view to your tits, so beautiful and round, he could feel himself slowly harden, he was ready to tell you to come with him to one of the rooms so you could act upon it, when the host of the show finally showed up.

“Hello guys!” he was a beautiful man as well, did this show only look for good looking people? The producer you’d met said you’d be with pretty people, but this was another level, what a major boost to your ego. “I’m Taehyung, welcome Games in Paradise!” Everyone cheered and clapped as the host gave a pretty boxy smile, “you’ll spend the rest of your summer here, where if you succeed with our challenges, you will win a fantastic prize! Your first challenge will be announced later on by the beach, please explore your home for the next two months and enjoy!” Cheers erupted from the small group again, and everyone dispersed after Taehyung walked away.

And explore you did, the villa was huge, it came fully equipped with everything one could only dream of having. The kitchen was fully stocked with a bunch of fancy appliances for your convenience, the bathrooms were gorgeous and came with both a standing shower and a bathtub, the sleeping area had six queen sized beds and nightstands were full of things to make all the sex everyone was planning on having more enjoyable, from condoms to toys, to lube; a few rooms were locked and you weren’t sure why, but no one really cared, considering everyone starting breaking off into duos and small groups to start enjoying their time there.

(T-4 hours)

Andrea, and yourself were enjoying sun-tanning on the lounge chairs right in front of the pool, your cover-ups long gone as your asses in full display as you laid on your stomach. You were reading a book you had picked out of the villa’s small bookcase, while your newly found friend had her eyes closed.

“So, you and Namjoon huh?” she spoke, you looked up to see her sunglasses down to the tip of her nose as she stared at you suggestively. “He’s hot as fuck, anyone here would stupid not to be turned on by his mere sight,” you shrugged.

“The way he was looking at you I thought he was going to fuck you right then and there!” she giggled. You sighed in response and went back to reading your book, mainly to distract yourself from the godly man you’d met, and the many things you wished he’d do to you, so your wetness wouldn’t ruin your favorite swimsuit.

Namjoon was watching you from far away, two of the guys he’d met on either side of him also watching the girls they so badly wanted. Namjoon would enjoy his time here, whether it was with you, or someone who offered to help with his urges sooner. “Okay,” he stood up from his spot, “y’all can enjoy staring and not touching, I’m going in,” he started walking off when he felt a smack in his ass, surely from Jimin, one of the guys he’d been seating with, and his newest friend.

As he walked down to the lounge chairs he noticed someone else taking your friend away, leaving you alone.

Perfect, no interruptions, he thought.

“Hello again,” greeted you once he was close enough to you, he sat down at the spot your friend was previously laying on, his eyes shamelessly enjoying the view of your ass.

“If we still had our phones I’d tell you to take a picture,” you quipped, Namjoon looked back to your face and found you had been staring at him, he flushed slightly at being caught, but got himself together fairly quickly.

“Can you blame me when you have such a wonderful ass?” he chuckled, his dimples in full display which only made him more attractive in your eyes. The silence wasn’t awkward, but it was definitely filled with tension, you took off your sunglasses, a small smirk on your face “I bet you’d love to fuck it wouldn’t you?”

Namjoon wasn’t expecting such a bold response. He choked on his own saliva and got into a coughing fit as he heard you cackle loudly. When it finally subsided, he noticed you’d left, leaving a water bottle at his feet and a note on the lounge chair you had been seated on not so long ago.

Meet me in the sleeping area ;)

(T- 30 minutes)

There truly was no way of explaining your current predicament. How had you ended up like this so quickly? It was truly all a blur.

All you knew was that you were straddling Namjoon, dry-humping his erection over his swimming trunks, and making out ferociously.

Namjoon felt his dick getting impossibly stiff as you rubbed your pussy against it, your moans swallowed by his lips as he put his tongue down your throat. He played with your tits, massaging one of the mounds with one hand and holding your ass with another. “Can I pull down the straps?” he groaned as you moved to kiss him behind his ear and down his sharp jawline; you managed to muster a pathetic ‘mmhmm’ and you felt your nipples brushing against his chest and then being pinched and rolled between Namjoon’s thumb and index finger.

“Your body is so gorgeous,” he complimented before putting the breast he was playing with in his mouth, making you arch your back and moan as he sucked and licked it to his heart’s content. When he released your breast from his mouth he slowly dragged his hand down to your core, expertly moving your swimsuit aside and using his thumb to rub your already sensitive bundle of nerves, “fuck!” you moaned, he then moved his hand so that his thumb continued to rub your clit as he inserted his finger inside of you, “so wet for me,” he added another, “so tight,” and another “can’t wait to fuck this slick, tight pussy until you can’t walk” his fingers curved deliciously against your walls and you could feel the coil of pleasure tightening inside you.

“Take off your pants,” you managed to plead.

“Hmm?”

“Take off your pants, please, I want to rid-”

“Hello,” a robotic voice interrupted your pleas, scaring you so badly you almost ended up falling off of Namjoons lap. He gently took his fingers out of you and fixed up your swimsuit just in case someone was about to walk in. “Who the fuck is there?!” Namjoon asked sternly, carefully moving you off his lap.

“My name is Lana,” that’s when you finally noticed the small cone on top of a decorative table. “I hope you are enjoying the retreat, please head down to the palapa, it should be next to the place you arrived at today.”

You and Namjoon stared at each other, having a mental conversation on whether you actually wanted to or not, ultimately going back to making out. Namjoon wanted you so badly, and the stupid Lana robot had definitely not made him any harder, but he was sure he’d be back to it once you guys got back in the mood.

“Hurry up, lovebirds.” Lana’s robotic timbre interrupted them yet again, making you fall backwards on the bed “ugh!” You complained, “Let’s go before she becomes more of a buzz kill.”

You sat next to Namjoon, his arm was around your shoulders. You saw Andrea sitting among some of the girls, one of them in particular, Jihee you thought was her name, was throwing daggers at you with her eyes. All you could do was give her a tight-lipped smile, looking away from her as the small cone that had scared you earlier slowly rose up on a platform in the middle of the table.

“Hello, contestants,” her multicolored light blinked as she spoke, “I have gathered information during this first day of the retreat.” Everyone looked at each other, in a very ‘what the fuck’ kind of way because up until she spoke, you had thought her to be a very fancy diffuser, “it has been most insightful.”

“What the fuck does she mean?” Andrea spoke up.

“The purpose of the retreat is to have you create deep, meaningful, emotional connections, instead of the meaningless flings you’ve all been having.”

“So… have platonic relationships with women?” Jimin looked confused, he didn’t have to wait long for an answer.

“To incentivize you not to do this, I have set the prize money to one-hundred thousand dollars.”

‘Oh my god’s’ were spread out through the group, as they all talked about what that amount of money could do for them, you opened up to Namjoon and Andrea who were the people sitting closest to you, “that money could definitely get me my salon!”

“You’re a hairdresser?” Andrea asked.

“Makeup artist, but I’m planning on having a full service salon,” you smiled sweetly, Namjoon found the sparkle in your eye somewhat endearing when you talked about your dream, but, he couldn’t let himself dwell on it for long, he wanted a good lay, not a deep connection, deep connections had only caused him pain.

“However,” Lana interrupted the group’s chatter, “there are conditions to your stay in order to win the prize,” you hoped the collective complaint wasn’t missed on the small cone, although you were sure it was, it was a robot after all.

“There will be no kissing.”

Your eyes widened, as did most of the groups. “Well, she only said kissing right?” Jihee said.

“No heavy petting.” 

“This is fucking stupid,” Daniel, one of the guys Namjoon had been hanging out with spoke.

“No sex of any kind, this includes self-gratification,” the chorus of what’s and no’s that broke out from the group were immediate, and you felt regretful, if you had cut to the chase sooner you could’ve gotten a really good dicking from Namjoon, and now you were all going to be blue balled.

Or were you?

(Day 2)

You woke up the next morning comfy, you and Namjoon decided you would share a bed, and his muscular arms held you tightly, and you felt protected in a way. You hadn’t been one for cuddling in a long time, not since your last relationship almost 4 years ago. It had ended quite tumultuously, especially due to its toxic and suffocating nature. It was mainly why you had one night stands, you didn’t have to cuddle if you didn’t want to, you could just leave right after.

You also didn’t miss Namjoon’s morning wood against your ass, no one was awake yet aside from you, so you decided to be a little risky and pretend like you were adjusting yourself, only to rub up on Namjoon’s dick some more. His grip tightened at your hips, you felt his breath against your ear as he groaned.

“You better stop that, or I’ll fuck you just like this,” he whispered, you could feel yourself getting slick at his words, how badly you wanted him follow through. “Don’t you want the money?” you whispered back, doing your best to hold your moans as he grinded against your ass, “Lana is a dumb fucking robot, how will she know?”

Fuck it.

That’s how you ended up with your shorts and underwear halfway down your legs, and with Namjoon’s fingers deep in your pussy, just like last night. You were biting your pillow and doing your best to hold back your moans. “You ready for me baby?”

Best you could do was reach back and touch him, you wanted to keep quiet just in case someone heard you. He slowly teased your entrance with the tip of his cock, you had yet to see it but when it breached you, you could tell he was thick, and as he slowly fed himself into your pussy, it was ten times harder to stay quiet. Yup. He was definitely big. 

He fucked you slowly, and he had to hold himself back as well, your pussy felt so good and it almost felt like you sucked him in deeper with every thrust, he wanted to rail you, to make you scream and moan so that everyone knew just how good he fuck you. “You’re taking my cock so well,” he praised you, causing you to clench harder on him, “if you keep doing that I’m going to cum,” you answered, “why don’t you hmm? Maybe I’ll pump full of my cum too, and make you keep it in so no one knows what we did,” he bit your earlobe and you almost moaned out loud. The coil in your stomach snapped, and your back arched from the pleasure the beautiful man behind you was giving you, it wasn’t long before he came as well, and just like he said, you were filled to the brim.

After your morning shower and getting yourself ready, you were out and about with the girls hanging out in the pool, it was a hot, sunny day, and you were having fun hanging out with the gals.

“Were you okay this morning, Yn? I thought I kept hearing moan?” Jihee asked, making the rest of the girls turn to you. You and Namjoon had agreed to not tell anyone about your little escapade this morning. “I was having a really bad nightmare, I’m sorry,” you smiled apologetically.

Jihee didn’t seem to believe you, meanwhile the other girls rushed to ensure you were okay, they kept asking what your nightmare was about, thankfully, before the show you’d have a really bad one, so you used that one for your story, they didn’t know it wasn’t recent. However, you didn’t miss the angry looks from Jihee, but you didn’t have much time to dwell on it, as the guys came over to the pool to get you, stating that Lana had called for you all to go to the palapa.

You sat next to Namjoon again, who placed his arm on the armrest behind you. You were staring off, not really setting your eyes on one thing until they landed on his thighs. They were so thick and muscular, you wondered what riding them felt like, perhaps that could be the next thing you and Namjoon sneaked off to do.

“Hello, contestants,” the small cone in the middle of the table spoke, everyone greeted it back. “It has come to my attention someone may have broken the rules,” everyone stared around, except for Namjoon, who was playing with the leftover fabric of the headband you were wearing.

“No one’s done anything Lana,” Jimin stated.

“My cameras picked up movement and audio last night, are you sure?” The girls stared at you so quick you were worried they would break their necks, “Yn? You said you had a bad nightmare last night didn’t you?” Jihee’s voice was laced with cattiness, and you felt a slight tug to your headband.

“My cameras picked Namjoon, speaking also.”

“Her nightmare sounded pretty bad, I was whispering in her ear to calm her down, nothing happened,” the way he lied so effortlessly made you feel weird, and you remembered why you’d been single for so long, you didn’t want to be in another situation where you were gaslighted and lied to.

You were grateful that you had kept your movement so slow and subtle.

“Just a warning, if you are found breaking the rules, depending on what you do, you will lose money.”

All hell broke loose then.

(Day 14)

You had managed to go this far without you or Namjoon making a single sexual move, and it was killing him not being able to plow you like he wanted to. It was good because you weren’t the first to lose the group money, Daniel and Jihee were surprisingly the firsts to do so, Jihee had given head to Daniel twice in one day, losing twelve thousand dollars. Later on, Andrea and Jimin kissed a few times, losing six thousand dollars.

Namjoon thought that building an emotional connection was dumb, he’d done that before, and each time it ended in a heartbreak worse than the last, his most recent relationship being what made him swear off on relationships. The girl he had dated was someone he’d loved, he’d do everything for her, every song was for her, any money made from his music went to both his and her bills, he almost dropped his best friends for her. 

And then he found out she’d been cheating on him all along.

It absolutely broke him, he couldn’t understand why he wasn’t good enough, he’d always been a gentleman, he would spoil her, love her, why wasn’t that enough? 

He didn’t care anymore, when he had an urge he would go to the clubs, or even after a gig he would pull a fan he found hot and he would fuck them until he was satisfied, leaving shortly after, or if he was craving something more intimate he would cuddle them after for a little while, no deep conversation, no sob stories shared, no number exchange. No strings attached. It was the only way not to get hurt.

You were so nice, such a good fuck. He almost wished you had met a few years before, then again would he have looked your way? He always seemed to be dating women who only wanted him for his money, women who never appreciated the little things. You did. He’d made you coffee this morning, using the keurig in the kitchen because he knew he would burn the villa down if he did it like some of the others were making it. He did it because you had become somewhat friends, sexual tension aside, your conversations were great, even if they were forced at first to distract you both from how badly you wanted the other, maybe he’d leave this with you as a good friend. All the girls cooed at the nice gesture, and Namjoon visibly cringed “it’s just fucking coffee it doesn’t mean anything.”

Oh, how those words hurt you.

You had unfortunately developed a crush for the rapper. He was so incredibly smart, he had such wisdom and insight, and his face card was crazy. You had felt horny the first few days, after your small rendezvous, but that subsided once you had more and more conversations, you really like his brain. However, how you felt didn’t matter, he didn’t want you like that, you were someone he fucked once and that he wants to fuck again, nothing more, nothing less. So, maybe it was a good thing that new players came into the scene.

Lana announced them, and it wasn’t long before you spotted them walking down the beach, two men. Both men were absolutely ripped, one of them had a full sleeve and piercings, making you salivate at the sight, the other didn’t have any tattoos, but he had a somewhat big nose and a beautiful smile. When they arrived they quickly introduced themselves as Christopher and Jungkook. The latter seemed to have immediately set an eye on you as he immediately started conversing with you and tried to get to know you better. You and the others had to explain the rules to the newcomers, they weren’t exactly thrilled, but they got over somewhat quickly.

“Ynie, do you want to go talk somewhere else alone?” the doe-eyed man asked, and how could you say no to that pretty smirk. Namjoon didn’t really like it as he saw you walk away with the younger man.

“You can’t talk to her the way you did this morning and expect her not to move on,” Andrea spoke, Jimin giggled next to her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, I don’t care,” he clarified, making your friend roll her eyes.

“Attention, contestants,” Lana’s voice broke through the various conversations, “there will be a special event happening near the garden tomorrow, please go there in the morning.”

“What’s in it for us anyway?” Chris spoke up.

“The person who shows the most progress and success will win a date with a person of their choosing,” now that changes things.

(Day 15)

Without words. That’s what the workshop was called.

Lana had paired all of you up, and you had ended up being paired with Jungkook, whilst Namjoon was paired with Jihee. Namjoon wasn’t one to be possessive of the people he fucked, but it wasn’t that he fucked you before, you were his friend, and Jungkook seemed like he was up to no good, what with the big deceitful doe eyes.

You were excited though, it was a fresh start for you, maybe Jungkook will be able to give you that deep emotional connection you were supposed to look for. You hadn’t wanted it at first, but your growing feelings for Namjoon along with all the workshops you had done so far helped you realize that. This one in particular had two stages, the first one was picking up on your partner’s body language. You had to go for a hug with Jungkook showing a specific emotion, and he would have to guess it later, that emotion was excitement.

Once Lana gave you the go, you ran toward the pretty man and hopped on him, wrapping your legs around him. He quickly caught you, wrapping one arm around you and using his other hand to hold one of your legs up, you both were so giggly, and everyone in the group could tell you were enjoying each other’s company. Namjoon was hugging Jihee but he wasn’t putting that much effort in it, he was watching you and Jungkook, and the stupid shit eating grin he had whilst you hugged. How badly he wanted to be the one you had your legs wrapped around, he was getting a little upset at how long you were hugging this newcomer for, considering everyone had stopped except for you two.

“We don’t have all day!” Namjoon remarked, his tone was bitter. You didn’t realize you had embraced Jungkook for so long, you had connected a lot during his first day, you talked until the high hours of the night, so you felt good with him, it was easy. You let go and walked back, whispering I’m sorry’s to the group for the hold up. “The next stage is soul gazing, you will stare at your partner in silence, it encourages you to see and connect with your partner on a deeper emotional level,” Lana said.

The silence of everyone was quite comfortable, and watching Jungkook you felt such warmth and kindness emanating from him, and you also saw him tear up a bit. “You have a beautiful soul Ynie,” he admitted, and like the Grinch, you felt your heart grow three sizes from those words. Namjoon, however, was seething, who the hell is guy anyway, why is he making you swoon all the sudden? It was bullshit, absolute bullshit. After the workshop was finally over, Lana announced the winner, you.

“Yn, who do you choose to go on this date with,” the little cone asked, and everyone’s eyes were on you. The expectations were skewed, some were expecting you to pick Namjoon, and some were expecting you to pick Jungkook based on the past two days alone.

“Jungkook,” he had the prettiest smile, “wanna go on this date with me?”

“Yes!” He was very enthusiastic, giving you a quick side hug, the girls rushed to your side to help you get ready.

Namjoon was with the guys as they all watched Jungkook getting ready, he wasn’t very excited about the prospect of you going on a date with someone, he wanted you all for himself to enjoy and he couldn’t have that if you went with Jungkook. He heard Jimin giggling, noticing he’d been staring at him this whole time. “What?”

“Good thing you don’t have laser vision, poor Jungkookie would be dead if you did,” he continued to chuckle.

“I’m not even looking at him.”

“Give me a fucking break hyung, it’s obvious you are jealous of the guy, I mean just today’s workshop alone shows that,” Jimin explained, “if you like Yn you should shoot your shot.”

Did Namjoon like you? I mean he was definitely not repulsed by you, you were a smart, pretty girl. But how would he know you wouldn't use him? Sure you didn't seem like you would but what about when you were out in the real world?

“I'll be back,” Jungkook had a big grin on his face, “wish me luck!”

As Namjoon watched the youngest out of the men walk out, he decided he would get dressed himself, and get his frustration out with the punching bag at their designated workout area. Watching as he met you at the door to the villa. You were wearing a simple gray summer dress and it complimented your skin tone beautifully.

Jungkook was a little confused on why Namjoon was so adamantly upset at him, but he couldn’t worry about him right now, not when he was so excited to see you. You were incredibly nice to him when he arrived, and your conversation had been so wonderful when he’d pulled you aside. You talked about so many things, where you were from, what you did for work, what your goals were.

“I’m a tattoo artist! I’ve drawn most of the pieces I’ve gotten done,” he took off the shirt he was wearing, the white tank top underneath being the only thing keeping you from seeing his abs. His sleeve was beautiful, so incredibly colorful and full of life, he explained most of his tattoos, including the ones that were meant as cover-ups for others. Your eyes got lost in the way his muscles flexed as they trailed up his arm, eventually your gaze ended up meeting his.

He had stars in his eyes, and his smile seemed so incredibly genuine, he cocked his head to the side as he stared at you, “can I ask you something?” you nodded, “do you and Namjoon hyung have something going on? I don’t want to move forward with pursuing you if you are not available,” the question left you a bit stunned and you thought it through before deciding to trust Jungkook with the truth.

“We’ve had some serious sexual tension since we got here,” you admitted, “no one knows this but we actually fucked on our second night here,” the pretty man in front of you deflated a bit, and then it seemed to hit him, “so, not even the weird cone thing knows?”

“I mean she probably knows now,” you chuckled humorlessly. “Anyway, after that we agreed not to tell anyone, and we started building a friendship, I started sort of catching feelings, and I thought he was too, he would do little nice things for me, and then say something mean after,” you sighed, “so I’m not sure about him as person.”

Jungkook was a great listener, he stayed quiet and gave you his undivided attention the entire time you were talking, and now he sat pensive, looking up at the stars as he tried to come up with something to tell you, “I think you are really cool, Yn, and I think you deserve someone who will want you in every way, not just because you’re stunning” you blushed slightly at his words, “I would love to get to know you better and explore something with you, but if you want Namjoon that badly, then I don’t want to get hurt, going after girls who are emotionally unavailable or attached to someone else is exactly why I’ve become a man whore.”

You were shocked at his candor and honesty, but it endeared you to him and made you envy him. Why couldn’t you have your shit together? Why were your boundaries so unclear? Worst of all, a pretty guy who had treated you with nothing but respect wanted you… but your feelings for Namjoon were more, from the small coffee offering to conversations he would have with you about books you both had read, to deep conversations about each other’s life.

“You are a good person Jungkook.”

“But I’m not the kind of person you want.” You gave him a saddened smile, “I’m fine with being your friend Ynie, you are a good person too, and in time Namjoon will realize it too,” the night continued on with so much laughter, Jungkook felt like a long lost friend, and you were happy that life had brought him to you.

Namjoon was not happy. The people in the villa watched as he beat the absolute shit out of the punching bag in front of him, his jaw was clenched, and his mind was playing all the possibilities of what may happen on your date with Jungkook.

Did you do any of the things you'd done with him? Did you kiss him? Did you like him? Will you come back with a stronger connection and leave him to rot?

If you did he wouldn't blame you, he deserves every one of those things, especially after the way he'd treated you, all hot and cold. It truly isn't his fault, so many strings of wrong relationships, with the last one being a constant cycle of toxicity and gaslighting, which Namjoon can now admit he was a part of. Him and his last partner weren't good for each other, but they loved each other so intensely they didn't want to let go.

Love hard, hurt harder, you know?

He heard your unmistakable laughter along with his, and he started punching his bag harder. How long had he been standing here punching this poor bag? He didn't care, currently he was imagining Jungkook’s head on a stake.

“Namjoon?” Your voice pulled him out of his thoughts, he turned his gaze toward, whilst still in a punching stance, “can we talk?” Namjoon straightened up at that. He kinda liked the way you were checking how sweaty his body was, he didn't like your sudden frown however.

“Your knuckles are bleeding.” 

Were they? Surely he wasn't punching the bag that long that hard. But when he pulled up his hands to look at the damage he couldn't help but cackle.

“I guess they are.”

“Why don't you go take care of them and then we can talk, hmm?” You gave him a tight, close-lipped smile.

Fuck no.

There was no way he was letting you leave after you were the reason he'd been punching this bag, not when he'd spent the last however long wondering, overthinking, what you and Jungkook would possibly be doing. There was simply no way. It was almost a reflex the way his hand wrapped around your wrist, you barely had time to look at him before he pulled you away to a secluded corner of the villa, cornering you against the wall with both of his arms caging you in, droplets of sweat all over his body. 

It was crazy, the way your body seemed to respond so quickly to him, he heard the small whimper, and saw how you put your legs together, and fuck sake the way you were looking at him was like you were begging him to…

He wanted to do this right though. He moved away slightly, giving you some space to breathe, “what'd you wanna talk about Yn?”

“My date with Jungkook went well,” okay maybe not what he was expecting.

“Good for you?”

“I think we'll be great friends, him and I,” Namjoon suddenly felt himself taking a deep breath of relief. “Really?” The space he'd given you was gone again.

He hoped you could see just how affected he also was by you, how his own dick was stirring, having your body so close, having you so close. You must’ve sat there staring at each other for a few minutes, Namjoon’s gaze going back and forth between your lips and your eyes, there was so much he wanted to say, so much he wanted to do to you, with you. He leaned in slowly, your height difference making him bend down slightly, your eyes fluttered shut and he stopped just close enough that your noses were brushing together, you were so beautiful. Before you could ask him what was taking him so long he connected your lips in a delicious, passionate kiss, your tongues explored each other’s mouths and your hands held onto his shoulders.

Namjoon was the first to pull away, only to move his kisses down to your jaw and eventually your neck, causing you to let out little moans, they were the prettiest sound to Namjoon. He found himself reaching for the shorts you had worn under your gray dress, “may I take these off?” he asked, his eyes hooded and filled with want, all you could do was let out a pathetically high-pitched ‘yes’. He hooked his thumbs at the waistband, dragging your underwear down with it, he watched them pool at your feet and then knelt down, “is this okay?” you felt his breath against your center, making you squirm slightly.

“Yes.”

He dove right in, licking the length of your slit, groaning at how aroused you were and he had barely done anything to you. He moved on to your clit, wrapping his lips around the bundle of nerves and sucking gently, causing your moans to become slightly louder, “you gotta keep quiet for me baby,” he instructed you when he briefly pulled away to catch his breath, the sight of the lower half of his face glistening with your wetness making you almost want to orgasm right then. He started eating you out again, this time adding his fingers to the mix, and you had to cover your mouth to make sure your moans wouldn’t be heard all over the villa. You felt yourself closer and closer to your climax and Namjoon could too, your walls squeezed his fingers tightly almost as if wanting to keep them prisoner, and he wanted nothing more than to replace them with his cock, especially because it was so painfully hard. You wanted that too, you wanted nothing more than for this to go all the way, but you felt that in order for what you wanted to work, things had to be different.

“Namjoon, stop” he immediately moved away from you, gently removing his fingers. You took a moment to catch your breath, as he slowly pulled up your shorts and underwear and fixed your dress for you, “did I hurt you?” he asked, holding your hips, looking genuinely concerned at your sudden request. He had an almost boyish charm when this side of him was shown to you, so sweet, so gentleman-like, why would he not be like this always?

“No, I just,” you sighed, putting your hands on his chest, “I like you Namjoon, I would like for us to try and get to know each other, for us to get the chance to see if this could go anywhere, but I’m not sure if that’s what you want, and I need to know, because I don’t want to be pining for someone that just wants me for sex.”

Your confession surprised him, he hadn’t thought that all your conversations and your sexual tension would lead to anything more than maybe a friends with benefits kind of situation. However, considering how he's been reacting to the possibility of you and Jungkook together, maybe he did want to explore more.

“I'd love to get to know you more Ynie,” he flashed his dimpled smile at you, and you felt your heart fluttering. Jumping into his arms for a hug in which Namjoon made sure to hold you extra tight. Maybe this was the beginning of his healing.

(Day 27)

The rest of the stay at the villa was great for you two, Namjoon was so very thoughtful, he made you fresh coffee every morning, and you guys had a reading date every afternoon, where you shared the big love seat by the pool, laying back on his chest as he held whatever book you were reading in front of both of you.

People weren't too happy once Lana deducted the money for your offense after your date with Jungkook, and they were even more distraught when they found out what shenanigans you'd been up to on your second night there, you had lost them so much money the price money was down to forty-five thousand dollars. Jihee almost jumped you, thankfully Jungkook was there to hold her back. Speaking of, you ended up having another girl show up, a sweet blonde named Maddie who immediately caught Jungkook’s attention. It was great seeing your friend happy. You guys would have chats by the pool when you got a chance and update each other on the happenings of your relationships. 

Lana had also been a bit more liberal by giving you all bracelets, when they lit up you’d be allowed to kiss the other person, this would only happen if your emotional connection had been proven to strong and genuine.

Although you and Namjoon were still very much in the eyes of everyone, “getting to know each other,” that would all change three days before you left the villa. You honestly had no clue when he had the time, but when Lana announced you were going on a date with Namjoon, everyone seemed to be beaming at the idea. He told you to dress nice. So you opted for a two-piece white set, with a loose halter top, white loose shorts, and wedges. Turns out you were going on a boat ride.

“Oh my god Joon,” you beamed as he helped you sit down at the front of the boat, where an assortment of sushi was waiting for you. You sailed along, enjoying the sun on your skin, and the beautiful man that kept feeding you sushi, especially since even if he tried to show you how to use chopsticks you still couldn’t keep the sushi in your grasp for long. You talked some more about life, and you ended up opening up to one another.

“My last relationship was like, three years ago,” he started, “she basically only wanted me for my money, but I didn’t really notice, I just wanted to love and be loved, and I thought that I was being good, I spoiled her, gave her everything and she still cheated on me, so I swore off relationships and became a man-whore,” he chuckled bitterly. “My last relationship was four years ago, it was very toxic, he basically made me feel bad for not always wanting to be on his dick, or because I spent time with my friends and not him, he went around telling everyone our business but always left out how awful he was to me.” You had been staring at the horizon, the sun slowly setting bringing golden hour to you.

“Eventually when we broke up, he tried getting back together with me, and when I said no, he started shit-talking my friends and myself, and all I could do was watch as they got tired of dealing with me and my drama, so now I only had my sister to rely on,” you felt Namjoon’s hand on your cheek, he watched with sorrowful expression, “you were crying.”

“I swore off relationships after that too, I have never felt more alone than during that time, and I didn’t want to feel like that again.”

“I know at first I didn’t do the best job at not making you feel that way, but I hope I can help you feel less lonely,” Namjoon said, still caressing your cheeks, you felt your wrist vibrate, seeing the big green checkmark on your watch, Namjoon had the same. You were ready to lean in to kiss him, but he stopped you.

“Before we kiss,” he started, “getting to know you has been amazing, I find myself learning some much about myself and slowly coming back to who I was before all the bullshit. I want us to be real, I want to go back to the real world and make it work with you, would you be my girlfriend Ynie?” Your cheeks hurt from how wide you were smiling, you never really thought of yourself getting back into a relationship, you had sworn you were too damaged for something like that, but maybe this was the start to your healing. “I want to make it work in the real world too, I’d love to be your girlfriend,” his dimpled smile gave you butterflies, and as his other hand reached your cheek to fully cup your face, he closed the space between you with a kiss that had been different from the ones before, the others were hungry, desperate, and horny, this one was slow, passionate, and breath-taking. You felt your wrist vibrate again, making you pull away much to your dismay.

“I’m excited for the outside world together,” his gaze was sweet and soft, something you had never seen. He laid back, opening his arms up so you could cuddle.

“Me too,” you smiled, quickly moving your picnic stuff out of the way and scooting over, you laid your head on his chest, you heard his heart beating so fast and so loud, “your heart is about to beat out of your chest,” you giggled.

“I was so fucking nervous,” you looked up at him, “but I am happy I think, hopefully we’ll make it through.”

Fingers crossed.

[persphonesorchid]

Echoes Of Nebula - MYG

Summary: Some people say that soulmates are made of the same star, a part of each other, one and the same. Stars don’t live forever, Yoongi found, but they do burn forever.  

Genre: Exes to lovers, angst, fluff

Word Count: 5.5k

Warning(s): I don't think there's any, but let me know if I've missed! Any mistakes are my own, I proofread this one (1) time 😭

Masterlist

Notes: Eep, hello! Here's this lil thing I've been working on! Also, Yoongi and Mc didn't end on bad terms, their separation was somewhat mutual and they're all good :)). Feedback is always appreciated and encouraged! Enjoy!

“Make sure to eat, okay?” 

Snow swirls along the train tracks, following a gust as a train pulls into the station.  There’s the bustle of people getting on and some getting off, bundled up warmly against the winter air. Some are going to see their families, some are taking a break from theirs. Some of them are stepping onto the train to never step foot in this town again. Some of them are just starting the first day of their adult lives. 

Min Yoongi? He’s moving to Seoul.  

Your hands tuck the ends of his scarf securely into his sweater, staring at him like you’re trying to memorize his face. Your tears make tracks against your cheeks and dry quickly in the cold.  

Min Yoongi is breaking up with his girlfriend.  

“Eat on time. And I don’t mean ramyeon because you’re too lazy to cook.” You sniffle, and Yoongi wipes under your eyes with his thumbs. His glove has a hole in it. Not that it matters much right now, he’s trying to get you to stop crying. “Sleep on time, not when the sun’s coming up.”  

Min Yoongi is trying not to cry.  

“Okay.” He holds you still because he’s trying to memorize your face. He’s got pictures, even the silly ones that he took and promised to delete, but they won’t compare. “I’m sorry.” 

He must’ve apologised for the millionth time. He doesn’t know what else to say.  

You nod, smile — sadly, tears on your waterline — and, “I understand.” for the millionth time.  

He’s moving to Seoul, a long way away from Daegu.  

A mixtape he made for shits and giggles took off and pulled him with it, and he has no choice but to follow. Your life is in this little town like a ship in a bottle and like a captain you’ll go down with it. You can’t follow.  

You both talked about it for days, compromising, bargaining, but in the end, your lives are going separate ways.  

Stars either explode or implode when they die, and Yoongi feel like the star you’re both made of has finally reached its end. It’s imploding, folding in on itself and pulling everything with it.  

He has five minutes left to take you in, how the tears shine in your eyes despite his efforts, the string of the necklace he won you at a fair peeking from behind your scarf. The way you smile and your eyes squint, the way he could feel the chill of your hands through his gloves.  

He wants to stay right here in this moment and never leave if it meant he could take you in for five minutes till eternity.  

“Remember to...” His throat feels raw, but it’s because of the cold and definitely not because he’s crying. The lump in his throat makes it hard to swallow. He looks somewhere above your head to give himself a second, things like these are always hard for him. “Remember to dress for the weather.”  

He squeezes your hands, takes a breath that he almost chokes on, and looks back at you. “Don’t skip meals. Get warm when you feel cold. Always carry an umbrella in July.”  

Sometime later, Yoongi will wonder if the things he reminded you to do made much sense, if they mattered at all. Wonders if you’d actually remember. The umbrella one is really important; you always forget.  

He sat where he could see you when his five minutes were up and eternity never came. Waving from behind a glass and missing the warmth of you and the sound of your voice. He watches you wipe your tears and smile big and you walk alongside the train when it pulls off and then you run, and then, Yoongi could no longer see you.  

Min Yoongi broke up with his girlfriend and left her in the middle of winter chasing a train.  

July is always rainy. 

And every time it rains, Min Yoongi remembers the love he left in winter. He wonders if you remember to carry an umbrella. It’s been five years; he wonders if you remember him at all. 

He watches the rain splash into puddles and listens to the patter against his umbrella. Seoul bustles on, indifferent to the weather, its crowds meandering through the mid-summer downpour. Despite the season’s warmth, a stray breeze slips past his collar and reminds him of colder days. He’s grateful his gloves no longer have holes. 

He walks along the sidewalk, carried by the crowd’s flow without much thought.  

There’s not much that he wishes for anymore, not much he can wish for when he’s got everything. He lives in a high rise, works at the top music production company. Sometimes it’s a bit hard being the most sought-after producer in Seoul. Life has been good; he can’t complain. That mixtape opened doors he thought he’d be knocking on forever, and he’s worked hard to keep them open. 

Min Yoongi doesn’t need much of anything else. 

But on days like this, when the wind is just a little chilly and the sky’s opened up and crying, he misses you. 

Sometimes he looks back on that day and feel guilt. He knows it was just as hard for you as it was for him, the pain in your eyes that you smiled through. 

For a while, he’d call you every night and update you, made sure that you were doing well. For a while, he’d keep up with you and made sure that you’re doing well. For a while, he’d call you every now and then, see if you’re doing well.  

For a while, it had been a while and life, and then five years slinked on by.  

Yoongi sighs, and there’s guilt in it. He got busy, as one gets being a producer in Seoul with a shit ton of expectations. He’s changed phones over the years, lost your contact, and he got busy. 

Of course, he’s dated — mostly blind dates his friends set him up on — and he’s tried his best to push forward. There’s no point living in the past, he’s sure you’ve moved on and on by now. Sometimes he’s fine, and sometimes he’s back on that train station platform, wishing he’d begged you to come with him. 

It would’ve been the selfish thing. It wouldn’t have been fair to you had he done that. When he got to Seoul, he’d buried himself so deep into his work he barely found himself. He would’ve dragged you out here, made you give up everything just to sit on the side-lines.  

He misses you sometimes, anyways. He’s forgotten the sound of your laugh, but he still remembers the way your nose scrunches when you do. He’s forgotten the scent of your favourite perfume, but he remembers the way you lit up when he saved up and bought you a bottle forever ago. 

Min Yoongi wonders if you remember him at all. 

As Yoongi turns the corner, his umbrella catches a gust of wind and flips inside out. He fights with it for a moment before giving up, letting the rain soak his hair and the front of his jacket and jeans. He can’t help but laugh at the irony, standing there drenched, remembering the countless times he reminded you to carry an umbrella. 

In the distance, he spots a small café and decides to seek shelter. The bell above the door jingles as he enters, and the warm, cozy atmosphere wraps around him like a comforting hug. He shakes off his umbrella – finally pulling it back down – and steps up to the counter, ordering a hot coffee to chase away the chill. 

As he waits, his eyes wander around the café, taking in the rustic décor and the soft hum of conversation. A bulletin board on the wall catches his attention, filled with flyers and photos. His gaze lands on a familiar face, and his heart skips a beat. 

It’s you. Your photo, smiling brightly, pinned among various advertisements and announcements. You’re standing next to a large canvas, looking proud. He steps closer, reading the caption beneath your picture: “Local Artist Exhibition - Featuring Works by ________.” 

Yoongi’s mind races as he takes in the information. You’re here in Seoul, and you’ve been showcasing your art. A mix of emotions floods through him—relief, excitement, and a twinge of nervousness. He jots down the address of the gallery from the flyer without much thought and leaves without his coffee. 

As Yoongi steps out into the rain, a million thoughts swirl through his mind, each one more turbulent than the last. He wonders why you never sought him out. Seoul is vast, but you’d known he was here, making waves in the music scene. Did you ever think about him? Did you ever miss him? 

The realization hits him hard: he never knew you were doing art before he left. In all your conversations, all your late-night talks and shared dreams, you never mentioned a passion for painting. He feels a pang of guilt. Had he been so wrapped up in his own ambitions that he failed to notice yours? The thought stings, and he can't shake the feeling that he should have been there for your journey, supporting you the way you always supported him. 

The gallery isn’t far, and soon he’s standing in front of it, his heart pounding in his chest. He takes a deep breath and pushes the door open, the sound of soft music and hushed voices greeting him. There’s quite a bit of people mingling about in quiet discussion, taking photos of the art mounted on the walls under ambient lighting. 

Inside the gallery, he feels out of place. The walls, adorned with your art, are a testament to a part of your life he knows nothing about. Each piece is beautiful, but they also serve as a painful reminder of how much he’s missed. He wonders how many late nights you spent creating these, how many times you might have needed someone to share your successes and frustrations with. 

Yoongi wanders through the gallery, the sound of soft music and hushed voices creating a backdrop to his thoughts. The rain outside has left him feeling introspective, and as he takes in the various pieces of art, he feels a strange mix of pride and sadness seeing how far you’ve come. 

Each painting tells a story, each one a glimpse into your life over the past five years, a life he wasn’t a part of. 

His gaze is drawn to a large canvas on the far wall. The colours are bold and dramatic, the brushstrokes chaotic and full of emotion. As he steps closer, he realizes with a jolt that the scene depicted is achingly familiar: a train station, snow swirling in the air, and two figures standing close together, wrapped in scarves and winter coats. 

His breath catches in his throat as he takes in the details. The style is unmistakably expressionist, the exaggerated forms and vibrant colours capturing the raw emotion of that day. The figures are abstract, but he knows them instantly: one is you, and the other is him. 

He remembers the way you tucked his scarf into his sweater, the tears that made tracks down your cheeks, and the way you both tried to memorize each other in those final moments. The painting captures all of it, the pain and the love, the sorrow and the hope. 

Yoongi feels a lump in his throat as he stares at the piece. It’s a testament to your skill as an artist. He wonders how long you carried the weight of that moment, how many times you revisited it in your mind to create this masterpiece. He’s overwhelmed by a wave of emotions: regret, longing, and a deep, unspoken connection. 

The title of the painting, written on a small plaque beside it, reads “Departure.” It’s fitting, he thinks, for the moment it captures, but also for the way it marks the beginning of your separate journeys. 

As he stands there, lost in thought, he hears your voice nearby, and for a moment, he simply stands there. Your words meld together and he isn’t hearing much of what you’re saying, just the sound.  His heart pounds against his ribs as your laugh — it sparks a memory and adds sound to the ones that were muted — bounces off the walls and around in his head.  

He turns and sees you, in a corner, your back to him talking to a taller man, discussing a point of space where you’re standing. The sight of you, so vibrant and alive, sends a mixture of relief and nervousness fluttering around in Yoongi’s tummy.   

Gathering his courage, he takes a step forward, then another, until he’s standing just a few feet away. You turn and startle, staring at him like he’s a ghost. There’s a brief moment of surprise — he gets it — and then you blink. 

“Yoongi,” you breathe, and turning to the man next to you, you smile gently. “Taehyung...Can you give us a moment?”  

The guy looks between you both for a second with a raised brow before he’s gone, walking off to some other part of the gallery. Yoongi’s mind is too occupied taking in the sight of you to wonder what that man’s presence may mean. 

“Hi,” he replies, his voice soft and filled with all the words he’s wanted to say for years. Despite this, he doesn’t actually know what to say, he didn’t actually think this far ahead. He glances back at the painting of the train station platform, then back at you. “I saw your painting.” 

You follow his gaze and nod, your smile tinged with a hint of sadness. “It was a significant moment for me. For both of us, I think.” 

It’s a lot awkward, with him just standing there, not sure what to do with himself. You look the same, though now your hair is styled professionally and not the frizzy, wind swept mess it was when he last saw you.  

There’s so much he wants to say but he feel like he doesn’t have enough words, or the right ones, so he takes it easy. “I saw a flyer...in a café. Um... It’s amazing...your work.”  

“Thank you,” you say, your eyes reflecting a mixture of pride, nostalgia and a certain sadness. “I didn’t know you’d be here. It’s... good to see you.” 

The conversation goes slowly, awkwardly. There are long pauses and nervous laughter, each of you trying to bridge the gap of five years with small talk about your art and his music. 

“You’ve done well,” he says, gesturing to the paintings around you both. “I didn’t even know you were into art.” 

You smile, the same just barely there sad smile from earlier. “It was something I started after you left. It helped me cope.” 

“Oh...” His heart aches at the thought of you turning to art just to fill the void he left behind. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper. 

You shake your head and shrug. “We both had our paths to follow. It’s just... life.” 

He nods, but the guilt lingers. Life had taken you both in different directions, but he can’t help but wonder what might have been different if he had stayed, or if he had at least tried to stay in touch better. 

Min Yoongi is an idiot and he’s always told himself so. He’s an idiot and he sucks at this sort of thing. 

As the gallery starts to empty out, Yoongi looks at you, the rain pattering gently against the windows. There’s a part of him that wants to apologize, to make up for all the lost time, but he knows it’s not that simple. 

“Do you have time for a coffee?” he asks, hope and uncertainty mingling in his eyes. 

Your smile is a little hesitant, but you nod, “Sure.” 

You excuse yourself to grab your jacket and an umbrella — you remembered, he smiles privately —, and then you talk to the man from earlier for a minute before Yoongi follows you out of the gallery and onto the wet street.  

The walk is quiet, filled with the awkwardness of five years’ worth of missed everything’s, and Yoongi holds tight to the handle of his umbrella. There’s a confidence to your step as you weave your way through the crowd, head straight forward and not looking down at your feet like he remembers. 

You’re not the girl he left on that platform five years ago just as he’s not the guy that left you there.  

You walk back to the cafe he’d come from, and he realises that you’re probably a regular here. The barista behind the counter greets you with a smile and asks if you’re having your usual. You order a coffee and Yoongi asks the girl behind the counter to reheat the one he bought earlier, and the barista’s eyes dart between you both. 

You lead him to a cozy corner table after the order was called, and as you settle in, the conversation starts up slowly again. 

“How long have you been in Seoul?” Yoongi asks first, his voice a little hesitant, not sure if he’s allowed to ask.  

“Almost three years now,” you reply, looking down at your coffee cup, the tiniest furrow between your brows. “It took a while, but I got settled.” 

Yoongi takes a moment to observe you, trying to reconcile the person in front of him with the memories he’s held onto for the past five years. You don’t look much different, your hair’s in an up-do, your cheeks are a little fuller, but that’s as much as he notices.  

The silence that rings between you both is louder than the other customers in the cafe. Yoongi can only imagine what this scene looks like to others; two people who are barely looking at each other, like awkward strangers forced to share a space.  

His coffee is still hot, and it burns his tongue when he sips at it, but at least it’s given him a distraction. He steals glances at you, watching the way your eyes comb the cafe and avoid his gaze.  

Unfortunately, Yoongi is naught but a man, and there’s a nagging sound at the back of his brain. It grows louder until he fidgets, the nerves of his free hand feel like they’re dancing and he takes a breath. He looks down at his coffee cup, glances at you and then back to the cup. Then, he asks a question that made him want to crawl out of his skin.  

“So...that guy back at your gallery seemed nice...”  

He knows it’s been five years, and a lot can change in that time.  As toxic as it may sound, the thought of you moving on with someone else stirs a mix of emotions in him. 

He knows he has no right to be upset if you’ve found happiness with someone else. It’s not his business anymore, not after all this time.   

Still, the fear is there. He doesn’t want to admit how much it hurts to think of you with someone else. He can’t deny the pang of jealousy at the thought, but he tries his best to ignore it. He has no claim over you. You deserve to be happy, and if you’ve found that with someone, then he’s happy.  

He sighs inwardly, pushing the thoughts aside. He wants to focus on the present, on the fact that you’re sitting in front of him right now. Whatever happens, he’s happy to be here, he hopes he can be a part of your life again of you let him, even if it’s only as a friend. He doesn’t want to ruin this, whatever it turns out to be. 

You stare at him for a moment and Yoongi can’t tell what you’re thinking, “He is...he’s got an eye for art.”  

Yoongi nods slowly, his fingers tracing the rim of his coffee cup. He hums softly, and now it’s his turn to pretend you’re not looking; he finds interest in the light fixtures above.   

His next question sits on his tongue trying to pry past his teeth. He feels like a kid trying to find the right moment to ask his parents if he could go play outside. There’s a nervous churning in his tummy that isn’t at all pleasant. How does one ask their ex of five years if they’re seeing someone?  

Yoongi imagines they’d just ask, out of curiosity, and get it out of the way. He could play it well. Maybe lean back into his seat and appear more casual before he says the stupid words. Maybe he could stop staring at the lights like a damn moth, and act like a being with a fully developed frontal lobe.  

“Are you two...close? Or...you know...” He waves a hand and then lays it on the table. The sound of his ring knocking against it is kind of jarring, but it gives Yoongi an opportunity to look away again. 

You make a quiet sound, and Yoongi finally meets your gaze. There’s amusement in your eyes, it’s obvious you’ve figured him out already — he wasn’t exactly being subtle. Which is unfortunate, because now Yoongi could feel embarrassment tapping on his shoulder. 

You say nothing of it, even though he knows you want to. He could feel it.  

“As close as business partners can be, I suppose.” You say, and Yoongi can see the beginning of a smile as you lift your coffee to hide it.  

“Right...Sorry.” Yoongi says sheepishly, though, a weight lifts off his chest. As he looks at you, he notices something that makes his heart skip a beat.  

You’re still wearing the necklace he got you all those years ago, the one he won for you at the fair. The twine that the little pendant hangs on looks worn, fraying a bit at some points, but you’re wearing it.  

You kept it. 

He clears his throat, the words he’s been holding back spilling out. “I’m sorry I lost touch. I got so busy, and then it felt like too much time had passed to reconnect. I lost your contact, and… I didn’t know how to find you again.” 

You nod, your fingers brushing over the necklace like you sensed his gaze on it. “It’s okay. Life happened, for both of us.” 

“But why didn’t you seek me out when you got to Seoul?” Yoongi asks, his voice soft, devoid of accusation; genuinely curious. 

“I thought it would be for the best,” you say, equally as soft, staring into your coffee as though it would give you the words you’re looking for. “So much time had passed, and I didn’t want to disrupt your life. You were doing well.”  

You look so sad when you say it that it almost breaks Yoongi’s heart.  

“You know I wouldn’t have...” He wouldn’t have turned you away.  

“I know, I just...” You sigh, your eyes dart somewhere to his left, and then back at him, “...I really missed you.”  

Yoongi wants to reach out and take your hand so he does. Your fingers are warm from the coffee, squeezing his own, and tears beads at your waterline.  

“I missed you too.” His gaze is soft and he knows it, but he doesn’t care because its you. You’re still you and he’s still him, and he misses you and the girl he left on that platform.  

You’re both still made of the same star. It’s imploded but still glowing, and your necklace pendant catches the above head light.  

His finger brushes over your knuckles, he stares at them, the shape and colour and all the little things about them that makes them a part of you. All that with his heart in his throat because he wants to ask something.  

“Do you think…” His voice is barely a whisper, as if he’s afraid the wrong volume might shatter whatever delicate thread holds this moment together. “Do you think there’s a chance… that we could try again?” 

You stare at him, your eyes wide, and he feels the subtle pressure of your fingers in his. He knows it’s a lot to ask,  but the longing, the sense that maybe something beautiful can still be salvaged from the pieces, presses him to keep going. 

Hope catches on the glint of your necklace pendant, and he clings to it. 

“I don’t expect anything to happen right away. I just… I want to be in your life again, even if we start slow. No pressure, just… what feels right.” 

You’re quiet for a moment, and then a soft smile curves your lips, almost as if you’ve been waiting for him to say something like this.  

“We could try,” you murmur, the words tentative but filled with the same cautious hope Yoongi feels. 

And from there, the pace is unhurried. You both ease into each other’s lives like rivers that find their way back to the same stream.  

Some days Yoongi feels like he’s been whacked on the head with a giant stick. Anyone could tell by looking at him, when he’s got that stupid look on his face. Like he’s seen a goddess and she spared him a glance. He feels like he’s dreaming, and the last five years without you seem to blur.  

He starts small, a text here and there; good morning and good night. Even if he’s busy he’d keep up with you, except when his work demands his focus. There are some days when you’d disappear, and Yoongi understands when you explain you’ve been in your studio for hours.  

Your gallery isn’t far from his work, and as much as he could he’d go see you. He finds himself drawn to small gestures—bringing you lunch or a cup of coffee, or sometimes a sweet he thinks you might like. Each time he steps into the gallery with something for you, he feels a warmth settle in his chest. 

It’s an excuse, he knows, to see you smile, to watch you light up at the thoughtfulness of it. And each time you look at him with that gentle, appreciative gaze, he feels his hope grow a little stronger. 

You’d tell him all about your creative process, how you’d spin and weave what’s in your head onto a canvas. He’d listen attentively because he’s interested and he owes it to you. All those nights spent burning the midnight oil, steeping in his frustrations; you were there. You’d listen to him rant and cry when things weren’t working out the way he wanted. 

He owed you much more than that.  

He feels like he has to learn you all over again, which, in a sense, he does. Even if the bases of you are the same, there’s new facets. Little shards that fit into the mirror that reflects you, some pieces are a little dusty and worn with time and others are new and shiny. Yoongi has to take his time cleaning the old ones to see them again, and get used to the new ones that twinkle his eyes.  

He invites you to his place for dinner, something simple and easy, and the conversation flows a lot better than it had a month before.  

There’s no awkward sentences that cut off somewhere in the middle. Yoongi knows what to do with his hands and he has a better time looking you in the eye now. He feels a lot like he did back then, like a school boy taking his crush to meet his parents. His hands are a little sweaty, but the food is good and your eyes sparkle like they did back then, too.  

You seem so sure, like you’re not worried one bit. Like you knew you’d meet him again and you’d be here in this moment; sipping on white wine – something new he’s learned – and chucking over stories set in the past.  

The day he let a pet name slip was the day Yoongi wished a chasm would open up and swallow him. He had his excuse ready; the clock’s pushing one in the morning; he’s tired. The truth? It’s so easy to slip back into old ways, like nothing changed at all.  

Like a smouldering fire in a hearth. It’s not quite out yet, and if you throw some sticks in there, they’ll catch.  

After a while, on some sunny evening, Yoongi invited you to his studio. 

“This is where I spend most of my time.” And he means that, letting you into his studio. There’s a blanket tossed haphazardly on the black couch that lines the wall near the door.  

There’s day old take away coffee cups that never made it to the bin, cluttered in a designated spot. The bin he meant to empty is overflowing with scraps of paper and crushed takeout containers. That’s as far as the clutter goes. Though, Yoongi’s embarrassed now – he prides himself on keeping tidy. He wasn’t thinking when he asked you over, didn’t expect you to agree either.  

So now he’s clearing up his desk and tying a knot on the waste bag. You make yourself comfortable on his couch like you’ve been there before, throwing the blanket over your lap as your eyes dart about to take everything in.  

You’re impressed, he could tell by the gleam in your eyes and your little down turned smile. He’s come a long way from his old computer and MIDI.  

“Its nice, cosy. Beats camping out in your bedroom.” You smile and Yoongi chuckles, nodding.  

“Damn right.” He agrees, but he wouldn’t trade in those days for anything. Truthfully, he’s been here for three days, only going home to shower. Inspiration on an all time high and he’s just been riding the wave, you’ve been his muse for the past month. It isn’t the first time, at moments over the years gone you’d float into his mind like a mirage, and he’d get stuck on you.  

He’s grateful for the break, though, there’s nothing much to do and he doesn’t want to bore you with rambling about what he’s working on. So he orders something, and lets a movie play on his laptop.  

The clock ticks softly in the corner, its sound nearly drowned out by the hum of the desk lamp — he should really get that replaced. You’re still curled up on his couch despite the hour, the blanket pooled around your legs, your eyes scanning a painting on the wall he doesn’t remember hanging. 

“It’s peaceful here,” you say, your voice quiet but steady, like you’re speaking directly to the heart of the room—and to him. 

Yoongi glances up from the cluttered desk he’d been half-heartedly straightening; resorting his things because he can’t sit still. He watches the way you seem to belong in his space, your presence settling into the corners he never realized were empty. The faintest smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. 

“You think so?” he asks, moving to lean against the edge of the desk. He crosses his arms, the soft light from the lamp catching on the fine lines of his face. “I always thought it was too chaotic.” 

You turn your head, your gaze locking onto his. “Chaos can be beautiful. It just takes the right eyes to see it.” 

The words settle between you, their weight both gentle and profound. Yoongi feels something inside him shift—a small piece of armour finally cracking and falling away. 

He takes a step toward you, his hands slipping into his pockets, his expression tentative. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.” 

You sit up a little straighter, tilting your head. “What is it?” 

“Would you…” He hesitates, his fingers brushing against the edge of a USB drive in his pocket—the same drive that holds the tracks he’s been working on for weeks. “Would you let me write something for you? About you?” 

Your surprise shows in the slight widening of your eyes, followed quickly by a soft, warm smile. “You already do that, don’t you?” 

Yoongi chuckles under his breath, his gaze dropping to the floor for a moment. “Maybe,” he admits, with a small smile that meant more than he could say. “But this time, I want you to know it’s for you. No hiding it in metaphors or beats no one else understands. Just…you.” 

You rise from the couch, the blanket slipping to the side as you close the small distance between you. Standing so close, Yoongi count all the things that make you you.  

“Okay,” you say softly, your fingers brushing against his. “But only if you let me paint something for you, too.” 

Yoongi takes your hand because he wants to, and his fingers make home in the spaces between yours. It feels like déjà vu and an epiphany all at once: five years ago you were this close and he was saying goodbye. His gloves had holes. Today...he’s saying hello again, and it feels like no time had gone by. And he kisses you now because he didn’t kiss you then, and you sigh into it like you’ve been waiting a lifetime.  

Some people say that soulmates are made of the same star, apart of each other, one in the same. Stars don’t live forever, Yoongi found, but they do burn forever.  

Tagging: @hoseoksluna @xpeachesncream @amon-rei @allhobbitstoisengard @euphoricfilter @madbutgloriouspond

[svt-rosalie]

hi!! i was just wondering if you could go more in depth about yoongi and rosie’s relationship? they are such a sweet sibling duo and i’d love to read more about them!

. . . ♡ YOOJI ! ? 🐡 TIMELINE ★ ﾟ๑

ׁ ׅ ୨ ❪ relationships! ❫ ୧ ⊹ ࣪

© 2024 , svt-rosalie rosalie masterlist!

you're in the first sentence of this

non-stopping page, my brightest dream

rainbow, nct dream

2013-2014 / Where It All Started.

Rosalie had attended a BTS fansign in 2013, when she got some free time after training

She loved meeting all the boys but her favorite was Yoongi

He was confused when she confessed that statement towards, yet she explained that his attitude and rapping skills drew her in and she’s excited to see what they become

She hoped they would make it big and all their dreams would come true

Rosie also confessed that she was training too at Pledis and hoped one day he could see her on stage and cheer her on like she does him

Their interaction was short but memorable

Yoongi spoke about her to his company and asked if they could get in contact with hers to see if it would be allowed for her to visit back and forth for training purposes

Pledis was skeptical, not wanting a trainee of theirs to get into a scandal before they even made a debut, but as long as their meetings were supervised then it was fine

(As if a 13 year old girl is thinking of anything other then school and her training?? Shut the fuck up Pledis)

The big brother roll set in very quickly for Yoongi

The two would spend time together with Yoongi teaching her skills with writing music and helping her rap even though she knew she wanted to be a singer

Knowing how to rap wasn’t a bad skill, as Yoongi would say

Every single time they would work together Rosalie took in every word Yoongi said like he hung the moon in the sky

Again — Rosalie was a fan of Yoongi and all the other members of BTS. So, it was crazy for her to be in the same room as the boy, gaining tips and tricks from him even though he was still a rookie

She just knew though that he and his member would be something one day, and she’d be right their supporting them!

2015-2018 / Debut, and More

After months of training and putting her blood, sweat and tears into everything that she does

Rosalie finally debuts

She hadn’t told a single soul that her groups first music video would be out on May 26 that year

Not even Yoongi, it was suppose to be a surprise

And surprised he was

Yoongi didn’t find out until Seventeen had a stage on the same day as BTS at the same place ( author note, i know run by bts was released in april 2015 so i feel like their schedules might have overlap but im not sure, so we are going to pretend they did!)

BTS has been busy that year, changing their concept and figuring out what said group was going to be with their newest comeback ‘Run’ — so Yoongi didn’t really have the chance to ask Rosalie many questions other then

‘How are you doing?’ ‘Are you eating correctly?’ ‘Is anyone being mean to you?’ ect ect

So it definitely threw the older boy off when the (at the time) 5’6 girl comes running at him and yelling “I debuted! I debuted! Aren’t you happy?”

Yoongi was very excited for her even if he didn’t show it well

Rosie knew though

She knew that he was proud and little scared for her as well in his eyes.

Eyes tell.

Yoongi and Rosie cheered each other on silently and behind the scenes

The older boy would send her flowers and words of encouragement when she had a showcase she’s was nervous to perform for or when she needed some uplifting words

Rosalie would show him pictures of her pulling his photos cards and would subtly promote BTS whenever she could.

The kpop community found out of their friendship when Yoongi released his solo mixtape under the name Agust D and they had a collab named ‘So Far Away’

Fans were surprised but at the same time not really that surprised, if that makes sense?

Everyone saw the subtly of their friendship, a senior and junior.

But it was more of older brother and younger sister.

Yoongi even though he would encourage her and give her advice, he still teased her.

They took the world by storm again when posting a photo together on BTS twitter with the caption “annoying little sister.”

Since 2017 they’ve became known to the world as the nations favorite siblings

Even though they aren’t related!

2020-Present / A Lifetime Friendship

The continued to have a strong bond throughout the years

They released many collabs together such as the song Eight on Rosalie’s first solo album, People Pt.2 on Yoongi’s Second mixtape

The public loved and hold on to every interaction they have

Rosalie’s parents think of Yoongi as a son they dreamed for

Yes, they love their two daughters but having son wouldn’t be so bad

At least that’s what Rosie’s mother says every time the older boy visits

Rosalie calls Yoongi any chance she gets

You know how their are some girls that call their mom or dad when they are in the car or getting ready, that’s Rosalie with Yoongi

Constantly.

The amount of youtube complications made for Yoongi and Rosie’s friendship

Clips resurface every year such as . . .

A clip from one of Rosie’s vlog of her and Yoongi going strawberry picking and then Rosie forcing the boy to bake a strawberry cake from the fruit they picked that day

Or Yoongi being recorded supporting Rosie at her Solo debut showcase in Seoul

Clips of Rosalie’s collection go BTS album collection right next to her SEVENTEEN ones, she likes to show off the photo cards she collect

(She’s one of us guys)

The two have never argued, disagreements yes, but they never get angry with each other

Rosalie is so happy she has someone like Yoongi in her life and Yoongi feels the exact same.

Twin flames, the two will stick by each others side till the very end

author note — this sucks, i’m sorry

taglist — @angie-x3 @alixnsuperstxr @allthings-fandoms @peachyaeger @sakufilms @aysxldea @swagcandyfun @wonwooz1 @s4nsmoon @seolarzone @miyx-amour @novwonia @marissa-11 @magicsoyeon @skzfairies @btskzfav @vhsdolly @vlbi @iamawkwardandshy

[star-my]

BTS Fic Recs ☆ Tumblr (i)

These are all available on tumblr as of April 2024. Some are likely crossposted on ao3 as well.

~Ao3 RECS HERE~ ~Recs (ii)~ ~Recs (iii)~

Almost all are complete works, those with “+” after WC are incomplete. Most are BTS x (F!)Reader.

Most of these are Mature or Explicit (usually because of smut) ~ mdni ~ italicized titles rated G or T ~ Please read responsibly

If any authors tagged here wish to be removed/untagged, please lmk! | Shoutout to @ggukkiereads who does an amazing job creating rec lists, which helped me find many of these fics

F2L = friends to lovers ; E2L = enemies to lovers ; FE2L = frenemies to lovers ; R2L = rivals to lovers ; BFB = best friend's brother ; BBF = brother's best friend etc

OT7/Multi

☆ BTS Reactions by @dreamescapeswriting | SFW + NSFW |

☆ BTS Scenarios by @btsjfans | SFW + NSFW |

☆ BTS Scenarios by @bulletproofwhalien | NSFW + SFW |

☆ BTS Scenarios by @salvejoon | SFW + NSFW |

☆ BTS Scenarios by @sunshine-and-bangtan | SFW + NSFW |

☆ Desperado Series by @heartbeatan | Mafia AU | PJM, JJK, KTH (in progress) | 60-160k(+) each

☆ The Company series by @btsmakesmehappy | Agent AU | 25-37k(+) each (in progress)

☆ Mafia BTS Reactions by @ninetailedfoxmanchi | Mafia AU (+Yandere AU) |

☆ #CodeBTS series by @yminie | Mafia AU | 1-12k each

Kim Namjoon

☆ The Ghost in Apartment 1403 series by @notsoguiltykpop | Ghost AU, Supernatural AU, Roommate AU? | ?k

☆ beauty & the bookworm by @jungshookz | E2L Library AU, Uni AU | 20k

☆ la vie en bonsai by @jungshookz | S2F2L Neighbours AU, Baker AU | 38k

☆ The Seven Nights series by @theunknowncryptid | SMAU, Mafia AU | 13k

☆ real magic by @heretobbtstrash | S2F2L Single Parent AU, Coffee Shop AU, Coworkers AU | 17k

Kim Seokjin

☆ {Unavailable}

Min Yoongi

☆ Take One by @untaemedqueen | Pornstar AU | 24k

☆ The Deal series by @untaemedqueen | Mafia AU | ?k

☆ suit & tie by @jungshookz | CEO AU, Office AU, Coworkers AU, PA AU | 21k + drabbles

☆ hellish by @jungshookz | E2L Demon AU, Roommate AU | 22k

☆ strike a chord by @snackhobi | S2L Pianist AU, Bar AU | 16k

☆ straight shooter by @snackhobi | F2L/E2L Cyberpunk AU, Dystopian AU | 14k

☆ devil with the mint hair series by @theharrowing | E2FWB Brother's BFF AU, Stoner AU | 11k+

☆ a wager of lords and love by @hisunshiine | S2L Historical AU, Arranged Marriage AU | 7k

☆ daechwita by @chemicalpink | Daechwita AU, Assassin AU | 10k

☆ stay by @luffles424 | Daechwita AU, Assassin AU | 3k

☆ daechwita by @se0kie | Daechwita AU | 4k

☆ make me proud by @moonscriptsx | Established Relationship AU, Canon Idol-verse | 6k

☆ by its cover by @kittae | S2L Cat Dad AU | 2k

☆ misfortunately, yours by @sor-vette | S2F2L Dark Fae AU, Dark Fantasy AU | 32k

☆ mixtape by @jungblue | F2L Uni AU, Radio AU | 15k

☆ cyberslut by @kimnjss | SMAU, Uni AU, Fboy AU | ?k

☆ alive aha fxck by @softyoongiionly | F2L Neighbours AU, Vampire AU | 43k

☆ a brew of wings by @inkedtae | S2F2L Dragon AU, Witch AU | 10k

☆ fury of their scales by @kpopisthereasonihavenolife | Dragon AU | 18k

☆ inheritance series by @jincherie | Hybrid AU | 21k

☆ tuxedo series by @whatifyoulivelikethat | Cat(-shifter?) AU, Roommates AU | ft JJK | 49k+

☆ Assuage series by @btsqualityy | Omegaverse AU, Werewolf AU | ?k

☆ show by @httpjeon | Pw/oP ft BTS | 2k

☆ drip by @here2bbtstrash | Pw/oP | 5k

Jung Hoseok

☆ midnight confessions by @snackhobi | BFF2L Coworkers AU, Office AU, Buzzfeed Unsolved AU | 27k

☆ the bride of ashmedai by @jeonggukingdom | Demon AU, Arranged Marriage AU | 13k

Park Jimin

☆ The Bird Cage series + The Lion's Den series by @untaemedqueen | S2L Mafia AU | ?k

☆ Set It Off series by @btsqualityy | Mafia AU | ?k

☆ the hunt by @httpjeon | Shifter AU, Fantasy AU | 8k

☆ lovebug by @httpjeon | Hybrid AU | 12k

Kim Taehyung

☆ Pied Piper by @untaemedqueen | Mafia AU, Established Relationship AU | 10k

☆ maybe i do series by @chateautae | Arranged Marriage AU, Chaebol AU, CEO AU | 410k + drabbles

☆ kinda hot by @kimnjss | BFF2L SMAU, Uni AU, Fboy AU | ?k

☆ nip it in the bud by @opaljm | Brother's BFF AU, Piercing AU | 10k

☆ heatwave series by @curly-bangtan | F2L Roommate AU | 12k

☆ under the covers by @jessikahathaway | Agent AU | 23k

Jeon Jungkook

☆ heavy lifting by @snackhobi | Coworkers AU | 13k

☆ Miss Vagabond by @bubblesuga | F2L Gamer AU | 8k

☆ blizzard by @curly-bangtan | S2L Roommates AU | 16k

☆ Sparkle by @btsmosphere | F2L Roommates AU | 3k

☆ Hands-On Learning series by @ladyartemesia | Uni AU | 5k

☆ kiss it better by @jincherie | Uni AU, Sports AU, Cheer AU | 12k

☆ ghosts just wanna have fun by @sugaxjpg | Ghost AU, Supernatural AU, Uni AU | ft MYG + KTH | 20k

☆ tell me your secrets (i'm all ears) by @jinpire | Uni AU, Hybrid AU | 7k

☆ under the bridge by @jincherie | Hybrid AU | 11k

☆ Swipe right by @ppersonna | BFF2L Tinder AU | 9k

☆ overtime by @cupofteaguk | CEO AU, Office AU, PA AU, Coworkers AU | 12k

☆ I won't stop you series by @imsarabum | Vampire AU, Fantasy AU, Office AU, Coworkers AU, CEO AU, PA AU | ?k

☆ life eternal by @jungkookiebus | Fae AU | 9k

☆ hotter than hell series by @chateautae | Demon AU | 136k

☆ Hellblazer series by @jungkookiebus | Demon AU, Constantine AU | ?k

☆ agent of love series by @ppersonna | SMAU, Agent AU | ?k+

☆ strawberry kisses series by @kimnjss | SMAU, Brother's BFF AU, Tinder AU | ?k

☆ drag me down (to hell) series by @kimvtae | Mafia AU, Single Parent AU | 58k (abandoned)

☆ Concealed Weapon by @gimmesumsuga | Mafia AU, Husband AU | 10k

☆ hate sex by @yeoreos | FWB Pw/oP | 4k

Overall Favourite Authors (If I recc'd all their works like I want to/more than I have, I'd have to make this series even longer >.<)

☆ @bonvoyagenoona's masterlist

☆ @chateautae's masterlist

☆ @flowerwrites06's masterlist

☆ @here2bbtstrash's masterlist

☆ @hollyhomburg's masterlist

☆ @icyhobi's masterlist

☆ @jungshookz's masterlist

☆ @justcallmenikki7's masterlist

☆ @kpopfanfictrash's masterlist

☆ @ladyartemesia's masterlist

☆ @luxekook's masterlist

☆ @magicalsalamander's masterlist

☆ @yminie's masterlist

☆ @yoonia's masterlist

[bangtanhoneys]

Grace & Yoongi - AU Headcanons

Getting together

It was a secret to everyone but Yoongi. It had been pretty clear what his feelings were the moment his eyes laid on Grace the moment the first meeting happened before the debut.

And it was clear to everyone but Grace and Yoongi that the two of them would end up together one day as they were so similar in their love of music, quiet spaces, tough exterior but soft on the inside.

However, the years went by and nothing ever happened. 

Of course, the two became close and were known as the group's parents with Jin, who said he was more the uncle than anything. Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung treated Yoongi and Grace, especially as their parents.

Grace and Yoongi shared a close relationship from debut to the first daesang, winning Album of the Year at the 2016 Melon Awards, when behind the scenes, Grace cried in Yoongi’s arms. 

Now all bets were off - secret glances, slight touches, they were always next to each other in interviews whether it was intentional or not. 

Secret conversations in private, especially in Yoongi’s studio, about BTS’ future. And what it meant for the two of them as individuals and possibly a couple.

It had become clear to Grace that Yoongi’s feelings for her were real, she had been able to see that clearly from the way he acted around her in private and how he was protective of her in public. Her own personal bodyguard. 

A honest conversation between the two of them as to what their relationship could possibly do to BTS, to ARMY, to the k-pop world now BTS were starting to gain proper attention especially when WINGS was released. 

Many fans pointed out the sexual tension between Grace and Yoongi especially during Blood, Sweat and Tears and Yoongi’s visible reaction to Dangerous Woman, Grace’s solo for the WINGS album. 

It led to a conversation between Grace, Yoongi, BTS, the Big Hit Team and lawyers. It was made clear - keep the relationship private, secret, and do your duty and if it affects the group in any way, it’s over. 

Being in a relationship

There seemed to be some kind of settled unity now Grace and Yoongi were in a relationship. Like all the pieces of the puzzle settled into place all of a sudden. 

And true to their word, no one would suspect a thing though some ARMY were able to piece together Yoongi’s lyrics on his mixtapes and in his solo BTS songs and connect them to Grace and her own lyrics. 

But no one had a clue. 

Even on the series Bon Voyage, RUN!BTS and then In the Soop - no one had a clue though little hints were given here and there. 

For Grace and Yoongi, it allowed them to be real. To allow themselves a little bit of paradise, especially when there were times BTS could have a break and they could go away and enjoy themselves or work on music in their own private time. 

And for the boys, nothing had changed other than they were more protective of questions towards Grace when it would hint she was only there for BTS as a thing, rather than a woman and a singer. Many articles would be printed when Namjoon or Jin or even Jungkook would point out that Grace was her own person with her own talents, her own voice and she completed the group in many ways that no one would understand. 

It was hard for Yoongi not to pipe up and give his own thoughts because that’s his woman, that’s his love and he’s watching her being destroyed on national TV because no one thinks BTS should have a female member who has a few lines here and there and is used more as a love interest. 

It’s hard and there are times Grace and Yoongi think ‘is it worth it?’

But they push through and they're resilient. 

When the news is released that they’ve been in a relationship for all these years, a week after Jin has enlisted, many many ARMY rejoice. After all these years, what they had seen and what they had believed, meant it was all real.

Future

Now Yoongi can release his solo album, D-Day and go on tour, and do his documentary. And Grace is there for every bit of it. 

She’s there for the album recording, she does some of the background vocals, she’s there on set, she’s there on tour and she even appears on stage to sing So Far Away. 

There’s a sense of relief now their out and in the open and the kpop world uses it to its full advantage. There are articles, programs and the like of how these two easily duped the world with their secrets. 

And Yoongi is there, for the most part, for Grace’s own solo career but the military is calling. 

And off he goes, to be a social worker because of his shoulder. Another sore point for the couple where they had to be separated for two months and Grace had to take Yoongi’s place in terms of his lyrics and position. It seemed natural for her to do so, which is why Namjoon suggested it. 

Of course there’s the whole drunk driving scandal and how it played out in the media. Yoongi had been riding home, to Grace, when he had taken a corner too quickly and landed on his front. And now it’s become this whole thing where he’s been ridiculed, slandered and protests demanding he be removed from BTS. 

Yet, there’s one person no one counted on - Grace.

She was there for his police interview, standing beside him. She was vocal over the media’s portrayal of the event and as much as Big Hit told her to keep quiet, she didn’t. Her social media became a tool where she could promote her own solo work, support BTS, support her man and call out those who continued to harass and slander. 

And when Jin was released, he became her biggest supporter in this even if he didn’t vocally say anything. 

The only comfort is, Yoongi comes home to her every night after his work and when she’s off her own tour, he’s catching up with her whatever time it is. 

In 2026, when the boys and Grace are back together, and the comeback is planned, the first thing Yoongi does is go out and buy the ring he’s been planning to buy for years. And on stage, at the last concert of a very long tour, he finally proposes. 

[spookyserenades]

what are the boys love languages? trouvaille & sanctity (if possible)

hehe I LOVE THIS ONEEEE! I'll write just a little blurb for just the Trouvaille boys at this time, I'll make one for the Sanctity boys a little later on ;)

Cutting it off here because it'll be a longer list <3

Keep in mind they all have Physical Touch as common denominator hehe. To varying degrees ;)

Seokjin - Quality Time. Definitely puts in an effort to have at least one moment of one-on-one time, even if it's just a short conversation in the morning over coffee. Loves planning and going on dates. Doesn't like distractions (like phones) when spending time together. Good listener, interested in creating rituals/hobbies/routines together. One-on-one time spent together is intimate and special, tailored to his lover's preferences, and feels loved when his partner does the same for him. Pillow forts, making sure each other's needs are met.

Yoongi - Acts of Service. Probably obvious for this character, but wants to feel needed or useful to his partner. Will do chores or simple favors unasked if he thinks it will ease her mind. Also a possessive streak to it, like he is demonstrating ability to take care of his partner. Gets very shy when his lover will do something for him without thinking, such as making his coffee the way he likes. Understanding each other's needs is huge for Yoongi, even if it's space to do their own things. Teaching each other new things. Sleeping together after a long day.

Hoseok - WORDS OF AFFIRMATION! Poor Foxy spent his youth feeling rejected by others and himself. His personality is vibrant and he used to use it as a shield, but hearing from his lover that they appreciate him for who he is has him melting. Loves verbal and physical support. As a partner himself, he's a cheerleader. Would do anything at all to support his partner in all of their hopes and dreams. Chatty chatty chatty, needs to be besties with lover and talk about every topic in the world! Witty banter is huge, too. Keeping things light. Getting weird together.

this next one was really hard because Namjoon's emotions are mysterious and then the whole mate for life wolf thing,,, walk with me

Namjoon - The heaviest dose of Physical Touch. Wolf Hybrid Namjoon's love language I'd say is mostly instinct-based. There's a whole side of him that craves to be physically close to only the one he loves in every way. So once he's in a relationship, he's all over her. This carries over to a strong "protective detail" as well. Constantly reaching out for her hand to hold. Sex is really big deal. Ends up being a total sucker for being hugged or receiving affection unprompted. The human side of him craves a deep intellectual connection but healthy balance of agree/disagree. Stargazing skin to skin.

Jimin - Acts of Service, but a side of Quality Time too. Jimin is like Yoongi, wanting to take things off of her plate. Jimin also loves when he is good at/enjoys tasks that perhaps his counterpart could greatly benefit from. Think the management of the stable and the construction of the garden. This bleeds into the Quality Time. While he is doing an act of service, he'd adore it if his partner simply sat with him and had a fun conversation. Really craves quiet alone time with the one he loves, especially in nature. Would love to be taken on a picnic and lounge in the sun with his love all day. True Romantic tbh

Taehyung - Words of Affirmation. Bear Hybrid Tae is all about trust. Trust is so precious to him that he'd benefit from consistent reminders, which boils down to keeping a certain privacy between one another. Think inside jokes or small secrets, for example. Loves praise (maybe for his photography but also appearance), and is very eager to dish it back out tenfold to the one he loves. Clingy as hell, and nothing makes him happier than skinship and cuddling he can be a bit crushing with the strength tho especially when his partner initiates it. Makes mixtapes. I will stress PRAISE again.

ok again hear me out for this one pleaseee Jeongguk is hard because he honestly is multi-lingual with the love languages!!! this is for brevity's sake though hehe

Jeongguk - Receiving Gifts AND Quality Time. "To be known is to be loved", Jeongguk spent his life on the run without personal effects. The thought of someone getting to know him enough to pick out a personalized gift for him really makes his head spin. Treats the smallest gesture from his partner- even a scrap envelope from a birthday card- as a treasure. Like Hoseok, craves friendship prior to romance, which he gets through Quality Time, hopefully through shared hobbies. Planning adventurous dates would be a lot of fun for him, likes to keep his partner exhilarated.

[amidstnamjin-and-binchanlix]

Hai hai hai

Idk if there are peeps here who loved my mixtape series, but if you did, hi!

I just started meds, so my body system is kinda wack.

HOWEVERRRR

I'm already starting on another part hwhshshsqhahwhjsujwjsjw

Please note that when I write the mixtape series, it's not necessarily in chronological order. I already have a rough draft in my mind of how it would go, and I am already planning to write the prequel to the first part, but it won't necessarily mean that it will come first. I also have an idea of what will happen for the ending(s?), but I have yet to muster the energy to write continuously right now bc so much has happened irl

With that being said, my next part will be a glimpse of one of the "what-if" endings. If it irks you that my writings are all over the place, I'm so sorry but I rly cant force my brain to write in one linear pace. As I always say, I hope I don't disappoint, and I'm so sorry if I do.

Thank you so much for loving my babies and for giving them the time of the day. Everytime I get a notification of likes/reblogs/kudos/bookmarks, it warms my heart bc wtf it is more than I ever hoped for.

Thank you so much! I hope to be able to finish writing the next part and post it within this weekend while I house sit because my parents will be out of town.

Toodles~!

[outrogi]

laura’s yoongi recs

I’ve been reading fics in here nonstop way before I started this blog. It felt like a sin not compiling a list of some of the stories that I loved and hadn’t gotten around to sharing yet, a few of them safe in my drafts until I was ready to make this.

I will keep on adding onto this list as I keep finding stories I've read before and would love to share with you. Leave some love and appreciation to the authors if you can!

disclaimer: all stories that include mature themes will be labeled accordingly. DNI if you aren’t 18+.

♡ - favorite

S E R I E S

please be naked by @floralseokjin ♡ ◦ fuckbuddies au, rebound au, angst, smut, fluff

trip no further by @matchy6812​ ♡ ◦ soulmate au, idol au, humor, angst, fluff, smut

countermelody by @bonvoyagenoona​ ◦ producer and artist au, e2f2l, humor, angst, fluff, smut

grey area by @blushoseoks ♡​ ◦ soulmates au, angst, eventual smut

matilda by @babystrcandy​  ◦ brother’s best friend au, f2e2f2l, angst, smut, fluff

mixtape by @sailoryooons​  ◦ brother’s best friend au, friends to lovers, angst, fluff, smut

carousel by @yoonia​​ ◦ arranged marriage au, ceo!yoongi, angst, fluff, smut

the deal by @untaemedqueen​​​ ◦ drug lord au, strangers to lovers, angst, fluff, smut

the songbird series by maia ♡​​​ ◦ mxm, yoonmin au, pirate au, enemies to lovers, angst, fluff, smut

ukiyo by sharleena ♡​​​ ◦ mxm, yoonmin au, drug lord au, succubus, angst, fluff, smut

greedy by @xjoonchildx ♡ ◦ mafia au, angst, fluff, smut

so it goes by @prodagustd​​ ◦ fwb, angst, fluff, smut

•

O N E - S H O T S

lining’s silver by @sketchguk​ ◦ fashion designer!yoongi, artist!reader, fluff, smut ​​

mixtape by @jungblue​ ♡ ◦ podcast personality au, college au, humor, fluff, smut

want a taste? by @suga-kookiemonster​​ ◦ friends to lovers, shopping mall au, humor, smut ​​

cream & suga by @snackhobi​ ◦ holidays au, coffeeshop au, fluff, smut 

first, last and always by @floralseokjin​​​ ◦ exes to lovers, angst, fluff, brief smut ​​

punch drunk by @joonbird​​​ ◦ boxer au, angst, smut

dark side of your room by @sketchguk​​​ ◦ ghost yoongi, familiar au, smut, angst

sweetener by @taegularities​​​​ ◦ former fuckboy au, fwb, enemies to lovers, smut, fluff

sticks & stones by @xpeachesncream​​​​​ ◦ massage au, ex-fwb au, mutual pining, light angst, fluff, smut

•

last updated: 10/06/23

note #1: if any fic recommended is in hiatus, the author has yet to update or left altogether, please do not pester them with updates.

note #2: These are not all of my MYG recs! There’s more with extensive commentary from me here and you can find more of my favorites here

[7ndipity]

Dating Yoongi headcanons

Yoongi x Reader

Warnings: swearing, lil suggestive, not proofread.

A/N: Alright, if we're gonna do this series, then it's time we talk about my ult. The man, the myth, the meow meow(I'm sorry Yoongi)

(Also, I'm already planning a pt.2 for this series that's more on the crack side, so if anyone wants to send me headcanons for the members to possibly be included in future lists?)

Masterlist

Requests are open

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Dating Yoongi is comfortable.

So soft for you, I can't even begin. Like, I don't understand how people ever think he's cold, he is the epitome of soft boi.

Blushes when you complement or brag on him.

Turns into a scrunched up, spluttering mess if you call him cute(we love our tsundere).

Very cautious at first with his feelings, but once he feels comfortable enough to open up, he's very straight forward.

To call it dating is a bit generous though. Like, y'all immediately go from 'kinda dating' to 'married-but-not-married'.

Tells you he loves you for the first time in one of those long ass, 3am texts like he sends to the members.

Random,(half-)joking proposals(Marry me, Yoongi uno reverse card!)

"What kind of ramen do you want?" "Marry me." "Both it is."

So many songs about you, but you will not know until they're released(or he makes them into a playlist/mixtape for your birthday or anniversary)

Actually really hesitant about letting you in his studio(sorry fellow writers). He just prefers to have a level of separation between his work and you.

Dates are usually pretty chill(except for special occasions or when he wants to flex and rents out a whole fucking skating rink for y'all or smth)

Another who lives for domestic activities with you, like cooking together or even just grocery shopping. Idk, he just likes getting to be with you.

Probably would love going camping with you in one of those little camper vans.

Likes to teach you things?

I mean, he won't want to be your full time teacher, but if you show an interest in smth like piano or producing, he'll get a kick out of teaching you the basics.(let him teach you about basketball, he'll lose his gd mind)

Not big on nicknames(big shock🙄). Like, you have a perfectly good name, why not just fucking use it? Also calls you 'Jagi', but that's if he's feeling particularly soft or needy.

Acts of service King.

Have you eaten? He's making food. Are you cold? Makes you take his jacket. His top priority is making sure you're taken care of.

Gets lowkey jealous of Holly getting too much of your attention. "Yah, are you dating me or my dog?!"

Sass and bickering are basically a second language for you two.

Subtle about pda. If he's not holding your hand, he has to have one resting on your back.

SOMEONE HOLD HIS FUCKING HAND FOR THE LOVE OF-(sorry, I'm calm)

Not always vocal about wanting physical affection, but when he is, he's lowkey dramatic.

*laying on the couch*"If you don't kiss me, I'm gonna die." *kiss* "Better?" "Hmm, still in critical condition. Keep going."

Another who gets more than a little enjoyment in winding you up into a flustered mess, and is smug about it(again, shocking no one, I'm sure)

Slow, lingering kisses as he holds onto you like you're the most precious thing in the world.

Gets really quiet if you fight(and sulks), but is usually the first to apologize because he absolutely cannot stand y'all being mad at each other.

Holds you to go to sleep.

"Marry me." "M'kay."

Okay, that's enough delulu for right now, Imma go cry.

[oddinary4bts]

Min Yoongi is a consent king and that is very hot of him🥵

Also ooooof the not telling anyone.. every time I’ve been in that situation it blew up in my face🥴 hopefully it won’t for these two

And the fact that yoongi was crushing on her too?? Fuck yeah😎

Loved this✨✨ can’t wait to read more tomorrow!

Mixtape | Two | myg (m)

❀ Pairing: Yoongi x f. reader

❀ Summary: Growing up with Yoongi as your older brother's best friend was bound to manifest a crush. It was small, fleeting. Gone with age and time. On a holiday trip to the cabin, you're reunited with Yoongi after not seeing him for two years. Maybe that crush wasn't as over as you thought it was.

❀ Word Count: 14,748

❀ Genre: Older brothers best friend, f2l, a lil' angst

❀ Rating: 18+ Minors are strictly prohibited from engaging and reading this content. It contains explicit content and any minors discovered reading or engaging with this work will be blocked immediately. 

❀ Warnings: Talking about feelings, difficult conversations regarding potential relationships, fluff, explicit language, angst if you squint hard a y/n, some self-doubt, explicit language, recreational drinking, mentions of recreational drug use, mentions of smoking, mentions of past hookups/ less ideal sexual encounters, sexual tension, explicit sexual content including: spitting, throat fucking, oral (m. receiving), fingering, multiple orgasms, dirty talk, not really degradation but y/n calls Yoongi a slut as a joke during sex, nipple play (Yoongi is a tit guy), protected sex, missionary, cowgirl, a lot of biting and licking they’re kinda feral, discussion of sex in public places, y/n is kind of a hypocrite about what she wants but not necessarily in a negative way, topics of friendship betrayals, lying to friends. Please tell me if I missed something.

❀ Published: April 16, 2022

❀ A/N: Chapter 2/4 is here! This entire last half was driven by absolutely insane That That Yoongi. I went a little feral in parts because wow wow wow. I really wanted to make Yoongi a Consensual King and constantly ask reader if they're okay and ensure they know they can stop at any time- so hopefully that comes across okay. This is the slowest chapter in terms of plot. 3 and 4 have a purpose, because we have a story to finish :)

❀ Disclaimer: All members of BTS are faces and name claims for this story. This is entirely a work of fiction and by no means is meant to be a projection, judgment or representation of real-life people. Any scenarios or representations of the people and places mentioned in works are not representative of real-life scenarios.

Masterlist | Ask | Playlist | Series Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | 

Sweat and sunscreen stick to your thighs as you shift on the vinyl seats of the boat, trying not to slide while Seokjin works on anchoring it to the bottom of the lake. Jimin is doing the same on another, identical boat while Taehyung and Jungkook work in tandem with Namjoon and Yoongi to tie the boats together, careful to place buoys between them so they don’t scratch the paint.

White-hot sun scalds the top of your head. You lean down, fishing for a hat before you find one and twist it low, almost covering your eyes completely from your friends and the overly bright world around you. Which is fine by you, since you’re struggling to interact with anyone normally, thoughts empty and a head full of Yoongi’s tongue lapping at your pussy.

You have no idea how you’re going to survive the day.

Knowing where you stand is impossible. Yoongi had gently led you out of his room last night with a grin and a sweeter-than-expected goodnight kiss. You’ve barely spoken this morning- which is normal, so you’re not panicked- but you still cannot shake the feeling of his hands on you and in you.

Everything is different. 

The plus side is that everyone knows you hate lake water and that you will spend the next few hours in the safety of the boat. There’s a Nintendo hiding in your dry bag and a pack of hard cider in the cooler that has your name written all over it. Literally. You scribbled your name on it this morning to keep Namjoon’s greedy hands off of it. 

Seokjin extends a green, floating lily pad into the water so that they can place drinks and food out without having to worry about it floating off. The smell of sunscreen is poignant as everyone begins stripping, chatting about the party last night.

“I definitely found her passed out in her bedroom at 2 AM,” Ren snickers, grinning at you while she sprays her lean leg. “We’re old, man.”

“Yeah,” you rasp, licking your dry lips. You sneak a glance at Yoongi, but he’s not looking at you. “I was pretty tired. Last night took a lot out of me.”

Yoongi does look at you then. You almost don’t catch it because he’s bent over with his hand in the cooler, a hat almost pulled as low as yours on his head. His lip twitches and he looks away from you as while smirking down into the cooler. You feel yourself fighting a smile as you look away, satisfied that he wasn’t ignoring you. 

Once almost everyone is off the boat and in the water, you manage to bring yourself to strip off the oversized shirt and grab your switch, laying toward the bow of the boat with your legs extended, absorbing the heat of the sun. Sweat collects behind your knees, sliding down your legs as you turn on your game. 

A cider appears in front of you, dripping water from the cooler onto the screen of your Switch. You make a sound and snatch it, looking up to find Yoongi with raised brows.

“Careful with the hardware, yeah?” You ask, cracking the top and scooting over to make room for him. Your heart is pounding but you swallow it down with a mouth full of hard cider. “It’s the new OLED version.”

“You weren’t worried about your hardware last night.”

You scoff and he seats down next to you, pressed against your side. His laugh is full-bellied and deep, making you bite your lower lip. You’re relieved when he stretches his limbs, still dressed in a t-shirt and shorts, tilting his head up with his eyes closed, the sun turning his skin gold.

For a moment, you stare at the open canvas of his neck. You have the urge to lean forward and bite into him, to suck marks all over his pretty, smooth skin.

Instead, you turn your attention to your game and settle into a comfortable silence with him, cider wedged between the two of you. He eventually lifts your drink, one eye squinted open and looking at you as if daring you to say something to him. You don’t, and he gives you a shit-eating grin as he takes a sip.

“Sweet,” he murmurs.

You nod. “It’s my favorite cider.”

“I wasn’t talking about the cider.”

Oh. Oh. His gaze is on you now. The world feels overly loud at the comment and you’re acutely aware that everyone is in the water conversing, leaving you and Yoongi alone in the boat. It’s normal for the two of you to watch them from afar. No one would think- does think- anything of it. Especially not Seokjin, who trusts Yoongi with his little sister above anything else.

Guilt clangs through you immediately and you switch from burning hot under his hooded gaze to confused and anxious. Yoongi notes the change and closes his eyes, settling back to his position with his hands behind his head. His biceps flex, making you divert your gaze. 

Instead of coming up with a riposte, you turn to your game, playing as though he’s not sitting next to you taking subtle sips of your cider. You can almost feel how smug he is that you let him, despite having told the group that they were yours alone to drink.

“Tell me about your game,” he hums.

“Umm,” you click through a voice menu. “It’s Pokémon.”

“Namjoon loves that.”

You smile. “He does. It’s an open-world version. Basically, it’s a lot like the older version where you kind of go around and battle openly, but there’s more specific tasks and missions and you can veer from the storyline as much as you want and come back to it.”

“What’s your favorite Pokémon?”

“Haunter and Flareon.” You click around as he listens, the music soothing. “I almost cried five minutes into the game because I ran into an Eevee and it got away. I wanted a Flareon so bad.”

He hums. “I like the sassy cat.”

“Meowth?”

“Sure.”

You smirk. “Checks out.” You pause hold a hand out. He sighs and hands you your drink, letting you drain it. You move to get more but Yoongi waves you off, hauling himself up and walking over to the cooler. You watch as he pulls another one out, cracking it open and bringing it back to you. “Thanks. Do you plan on just sharing my drinks today?”

“Not in a mood to drink.”

“Too drunk last night?”

He looks at you and that thundering gaze is back, making you clench around nothing. You swear he makes you wet by just looking like that, and you try to cool yourself off with a couple of sips. You’re both in dangerous territory. He has to know this.

“Yes, but not from the alcohol.”

“You’re a lot more… forward than I expected.”

“Would you rather I pretend I didn’t eat you out last night? I think that would be worse.”

He’s absolutely right. Pretending that nothing happened would be infinitely worse.

“I guess I just worried about Seokjin.”

“He has no idea.”

“So…”

He raises his brows. “So.”

“I hate when you make me say everything.”

“I love watching you squirm. You’re a big girl, you can say what’s on your mind.” He leans back with a wolfish smile. “I’m listening.”

“So where do we go now? I never really expected you to be into me sexually if we’re being honest. What with being best friends with my brother and all.”

Said brother laughs loudly, drawing both of your attention for a moment. His wet hair is slicked back, face tilted toward the sky, laughing at something Jiah said. You can’t tell if her cheeks are tinged pink because of the flush from the sun or because of Seokjin.

Interesting. You smirk, filing away that piece of information, recalling that they had taken up residence next to one another on the couch the night before. Seokjin hasn’t dated much. It would be nice to see him pay attention to someone, even if it was for a weekend.

“I love your brother,” Yoongi says slowly. “He’s one of the most important people in the world to me. I don’t know…” He sighs heavily, looking at the azure sky. “I don’t really know what he would say if he knew we fucked around.”

“But,” you prompt, sensing a but.

“But,” he agrees with a grin. “I’m not going to sit here and say I’m not attracted to you. Have been for a while, I don’t know. I haven’t seen you in a while so I guess when I finally did I just… lost control a little.”

Have been for a while, I don’t know.

How long is a while? Something stops you from asking the question because suddenly every entry you ever wrote in your diary about him is right in front of you. You feel dizzy. From the heat, from Yoongi’s heavy stare, from the words he is saying.

Years. You had spent years admiring him from afar. Swallowing whatever affection you had because it was unrequited. Stupid. 

And there he is, lounging as the boat bobs up and down gently, telling you that you are wrong. That every excuse you’ve ever given yourself was nothing more than that: an excuse, and a false one at that. 

“Your silence is killing me, kid.”

There it is, that nickname. He’d called you ‘kid’ most of your life, as if reminding you exactly what you are to him. It confuses you, and you feel your internal frustration mount, making you frown. “You’re… attracted to me?”

He raises his brows. “Is that really the question you want to ask?” You shake your head and he looks at you, eyes soft. “So ask what you really want.”

“What do you want? Did you make a move because you’re just looking to get off physically or was it something more?”

“It’s a complicated answer. The simple version is: I haven’t ever gotten to know you intimately. I’ve always been… curious. We have similar interests and I like the way your brain works. I’m into you.”

“I sense another but.”

“But,” he chuckles. “You’ve always been Jin’s little sister and there’s always been… a line I was unwilling to cross there. But last night I was feeling nostalgic and it just felt like the right time to do something. I don’t know,” he laughs, suddenly shy as he ducks his face, shadowed by his hat. “I guess I harbored a crush on you in college that returned a little bit, and I’m sorry that I acted on it out of nostalgia and not earlier.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, I- “

Yoongi doesn’t get to finish his explanation. Seokjin all but falls into the boat, hollering at Yoongi that it’s time for them to start working on lunch. Yoongi groans and gives you a look that promises your heart isn’t racing for no reason- he intends to finish this conversation later. The thought makes you jittery, watching as he gets up, flicking your hat briefly.

You growl at him and he smiles before helping Seokjin pull out the propane grill.

Fuck. You smile down at your lap. Perhaps your stupid crush wasn’t so stupid after all.

-

Despite putting on sunscreen, your flesh warm and a little tender to the touch after your shower. You curse, hugging your towel close. Still dripping, you walk into the bedroom you’re sharing with Ren to find her passed out from all of the day drinking. You grin at her and pull her comforter over her, her wet hair soaking her pillow. She mumbled a soft thanks before falling back asleep.

The house is quiet when you walk down to the kitchen in search of snacks. Taehyung and Mako are playing video games in the gaming room, their voices carrying from the single subterranean part of the home.

It’s the calm before the storm. Everyone is taking their afternoon naps, drained from the sun. Seokjin made dinner reservations at The Lodge for 9 PM- a late time in any other situation, but you know to get the crew well-rested and dressed before going out to the multiple bars on Acorn, the late start is necessary.

Grabbing water from the fridge, you close the door and nearly jump out of your skin to see Yoongi leaning against the counter behind the opened door.

“Jesus,” you gasp at him.

“Wrong guy,” Yoongi jokes. “Why aren’t you asleep?”

“Needed water first- and Ren is snoring.”

He hums. “You were always a light sleeper.”

You recall countless nights of running into Yoongi in the hall when he slept over at your house while you snuck down to the kitchen for water or snacks. You always struggled to sleep, especially if he and Seokjin were carrying on down the way.

“It’s super cold in the theater room,” Yoongi says after a few long moments of silence. “And I won’t be snoring.” He grabs water from the fridge and walks toward the east wing of the house. “You know where to find me.”

You linger in the kitchen for a moment before smiling and trailing after Yoongi. The theater room is on the first level of the home, tucked in the back with no windows and three rows of six, plush recliners. An old-school popcorn machine sits in the back with a bar cart filled with toppings, flavors, candy, and bowls for popcorn.

Yoongi is stretched in the back row, wrapped in a soft, fleece blanket with the seat reclined all the way down. He has Naruto on, the volume set to low, and the lights all the way down. It’s freezing in the room, making you hurry over to him when he glances at you, light from the screen dancing on his face. He unravels the covers and gestures for you to sit on the seat next to him.

The leather is cold making you hiss. Yoongi laughs but throws the blanket over you. You curl into a ball and lean the seat back, finally level with his. For a moment, you’re tense, muscles coiled as you fixate on the screen in front of you, not sure if he invited you with other intentions or not.

“Relax, kid.” You breathe out, letting your muscles unwind. He hums. “Good girl. I only brought you in here to relax. Nothing else.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

You pause and bite your lip. “Thought you said you wanted to fuck me stupid.”

Yoongi turns his gaze to you. His blonde hair is still damp from his shower, almost blue in the light from the screen. Shadows dance across his face, coal eyes studying you while he purses his lips in thought. “Still do. But we’re both tired and I told Jungkook where I’d be after his shower if he wanted to join.”

“Poor planning on your part.”

The door behind you opens and you flinch. Jungkook comes in yawning and rubbing his eyes, hair dripping as he promptly drops into the seat next to you. If Jungkook notices anything off, he doesn’t say it or he doesn’t care. He leans his seat back and curls toward you immediately, making grabby hands.

“Get your own blanket,” you snarl at him, tugging the fleece away from him.

He whines. “Yoongi make her share.”

The older man laughs. “What makes you think she’ll listen to me?”

Jungkook cracks open an eye and gives you a look that says I’ll say it. You fold your mouth into a thin line. It doesn’t matter if Jungkook sells you out to Yoongi now. You’ve already crossed a line. You still give Jungkook a look back and he relents. “She always listens to you and Jin.”

Yoongi scoffs but he nudges you under the blanket. “Your roommate, your responsibility.”

There are times you want to strangle Jeon Jungkook. This moment is one of them, giving him some of the blanket that you planned to share with Yoongi. He nearly purrs, curling into a ball and leaning into you across the armrest, nuzzling your arm until he’s comfortable. His eyes fixate on the screen, blinking tiredly.

“I like this episode,” he mumbles, content with your arm as his pillow. “Good choice.”

“Predictable choice,” you mutter.

Yoongi’s hand brushes against your thigh momentarily under the blanket and you nearly scream. Your head snaps in his direction, expecting him not to notice. But he does, grinning at you with gums full on display and head tilted to the side. “I’m sorry- don’t you still watch Sailor Moon?”

His hand does it again and your thigh is on fire, thighs clenching as he squeezes your thigh and leaves it there. He turns to the screen and settles. “Those in glass houses…”

You huff, unable to focus on the screen as his hand rests on your thigh, thumb stroking back and forth delicately. Jungkook is completely unaware, eyes closed and mouth slightly agape as he falls asleep. You always envied that about him. “Hush,” you warn Yoongi. “The baby is sleeping.”

-

Lights line the dark street as your group files out of the two SUVs parked behind the trendy restaurant. You’ve eaten there before- it’s a modern-western dream with interior decorators that did a much better job than those who designed the inside of the Park home.

A black accent wall lines the back of the restaurant with a wooden bar in front of it, industrial lighting hanging from the ceiling. The bar stools are wrapped in fake cowhide with nail-head trimming. Long, wooden beams hold up the high ceiling, making it feel like a tavern as your group is led to a private room in the back of the establishment, hidden behind a heavy door.

The Lodge specializes in a variety of meats, cuts, and ridiculously large dishes. You look at the mouthwatering burger options while Jungkook fidgets next to you. You glance at him sidelong and whisper, “What is your problem?”

“My button broke,” he whispers back, gesturing to his crotch. 

You take a hair tie out of your purse and instruct him on how to fix the broken top of his jeans with it. He struggles, cursing as he looks in his lap while trying to loop the tie around the button. You sigh dramatically, dropping your menu to help him and he get’s even fussier. 

“Jungkook, what is my sister doing with her hands in your crotch?”

The entire table shifts their attention to you and Jungkook. He whines and swats at your hands, protesting that it looks weird. 

“Please,” you shoot back at your brother. “He’s my roommate. If I wanted to give him a handy, I’d do it in the privacy of our home. Jungkook is not a voyeur.” You pause and look up at him. “Wait, are you?”

“No!” he hisses. “Hurry up and get your hand off my dick, woman!”

Mako gives a hearty laugh, clapping Seokjin on the back. Your brother arches a single brow, the one indication that he is deadly serious about what’s going on at your end of the table. You roll your eyes, finishing fixing Jungkook’s pants.

“Relax, Jin. Wouldn’t it be nice if your sister dated one of these fine gentlemen anyways? They’re all upstanding guys,” Mako says, sipping his wine.

You don’t dare to look at Yoongi who is sitting right next to Seokjin. Instead, you pick up your menu and go back to trying to find something to eat, not letting your heart drop straight to your ass as Seokjin says, “They know the rules. No one here dates my sister. I know too much about the shit the weird and evil shit they’ve done.”

Dinner is loud but you’re absolutely silent, drinking your wine with a white-knuckled grip and grimace. Taehyung on the other side of you murmurs something to Jimin before he leans toward you.

“You okay?” you look up, having sensed their conversation. You nod and give him a soft smile. He senses something is off but nods anyway. “Maybe we go to the wine bar before joining everyone else at Container?”

“I would like that,” you murmur.

Taehyung gives you a beatific smile and turns back to his food. You love the way your friends read you. You know you can’t tell them about Yoongi. They would guard that secret with their lives, but the last thing you want to do is have them complicit in your lies to Seokjin. 

Thankfully, you survive dinner and Jimin announces that you’re going to get wine before heading to the loud bar made of old shipping containers and loud music. You avoid looking at Yoongi as you slide into the cool interior of the SUV, Taehyung quickly behind you. 

At the wine bar, you’re content with the tweet wine that warms your mouth as you kick your feet up by the fire pit. Taehyung, Jimin, Jungkook and Ren all came with you. These are your friends first, and you feel the anxiety ease from your shoulders. 

Ren leans on you, sighing happily as she sips her white wine. “So why are we here?”

Jungkook gives her owlish eyes. “Like as in this bar, or existentially?”

“Only you could think I meant existentially.”

He frowns. “We’re drinking, philosophy comes up sometimes. What do you think they did at all those what’s it called? Where all the greasy Greek men drank it up and spouted knowledge?”

“Symposiums,” you offer.

“We’re here,” Jimin offers, “Because I think someone is Symposium-ing over Yoongi so hard.”

“What?”

Jimin rolls his eyes and drops down into a chair next to Taehyung. He empties the sparkling wine from his glass and fills another to the brim before knocking it back in one go. You raise your brows at him and he catches your expression. “I think we’re going to need to be drunk for this conversation. Help yourself.”

A tiny trickle of fear slips into your shaking hand as you polish off your glass of wine and hold it out for Ren to refill. Do they know? Were they the ones on the balcony below as Yoongi made you cum from his skilled tongue and long, deft-

“You and Yoongi have been inseparable,” Jimin starts. You make a face. “This isn’t a deniable fact. You guys were drinking together in the kitchen all night together and then vanished to pass out when your social battery ran out.”

“Why is that so weird?” you defend. “I spent more time with Jungkook than I did with Yoongi.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t have like, this really cute and long-term crush on Jungkook.” Taehyung makes a face, eyes bouncing between the two of you. “Unless…?”

“No,” you and Jungkook agree at the same time. You continue, “And even so- I’ve known Yoongi literally most of my life. Of course I’m friendly with him or we’re close. It would be weird if we weren’t.”

“And you were in the boat all day together,” Jimin surmises.

“We both don’t like the water. Congratulations, Inch Eye Private Eye.”

“And you looked fucking destroyed at dinner with Seokjin went on his little ‘no friends date my sister’ speech.” You don’t have a rebuttal for that one, so you stare at Jimin from across the fire. His smile is soft and you can tell it’s not teasing or malicious. “You still sort of like Yoongi. It’s okay. Have you ever considered telling Jin?”

“So he could laugh in my face and remind me of every questionable thing Yoongi has done? No thanks.”

“It might be different. He knows how much Yoongi cares about you.”

You prickle a bit at Taehyung’s comment. Do you even really know how much Yoongi cares about you? It’s difficult to place where on the line he falls, even after your discussion with him on the boat. Attraction and feelings are two totally different things, and while you have established that he likes you in general and that there is an attraction on a physical level, you haven’t really had the Feelings conversation.

“Jin also knows that Yoongi was a little bit of a slut,” Jungkook points out gently. “And he has a hard time imagining anyone with such a voracious history with his sister. Even if Yoongi begged him, he’d probably be unable to get over the thought of knowing Yoongi’s sexual interests ever being like… done with his sister.”

“Ew, this is weird. Why are we having this discussion, again?” you ask. 

“Because it’s obvious that he’s into you.”

You look at Jungkook with a wild expression. “What? You just said-” 

“I said that Jin would be uncomfortable with it,” Jungkook asserts, emboldened by his wine. “I mean, we all thought maybe in college but you two were practically snuggling when I walked in this afternoon.”

“You… literally laid on my arm and then continued to cuddle on my bicep and you don’t see me ready to date you.”

“It’s different,” Jungkook clarifies. “It’s just- we think if you’re into him, you should talk to Jin. Sister-to-brother. It’s just really painful for us to watch this connection between you two go nowhere.”

“Okay. I hear what you’re saying, but can we please stop talking about Yoongi? It’s like college all over again where everything I do revolves around him and it’s not what I fucking came for.”

It comes out defensive. You know it, they know it. Jungkook winces a little bit and you soften your gaze and hold your hand out to him, a peace offering. He takes it, stroking his thumb back and forth over the top of your hand. He looks genuine as he says, “We just want you to be happy.”

“I am happy,” you say.

And you are. Even without the Yoongi stuff. You’re happy to be in the mountains with your friends and see them sun-kissed and drunk. You’re happy to see your brother flirting with a girl for once. You’re happy that Ren is giving Jungkook a fond look again, and that you’re with Taehyung and Jimin who still at the end of the day just want what’s best for you.

So maybe you should drop whatever it is with Yoongi. Maybe it’s ruining the trip because they seem to be so focused on what’s going on with you and the way you and Yoongi rotate around one another like lost satellites.

Sighing, you stand and pull Jungkook up with you. “Thanks for the talk, everyone. How about we go drink real liquor?”

-

Heated, flushed skin presses against you as you move in between Taehyung and Jimin on the dance floor. The world is a kaleidoscope of lights. The base from the speakers is rattling your ribcage, making it hard to breathe. You feel alive and a little messy as you sway your hips between them, hands around Taehyung’s neck, Jimin’s hands on your waist.

To anyone else, it would look like you’re about to take two men home and have a very memorable threesome. But touching them in this way isn’t new to you, especially when Ren comes up behind Taehyung with her hands on his waist, twisting herself sensually to the rhythm of the music.

Jungkook is standing off to the side glancing nervously next to Namjoon and Lydia. You catch Lydia’s eye and point subtly at Jungkook and then to Ren, where she has Taehyung bent over like she’s fucking him from behind. Lydia grins, nodding as if to say message received.

You watch as she convinces Namjoon and Jungkook to follow her through the crowd. The shy girl from dinner the night before is gone and replaced by a confident bulldozer as she drags Jungkook in front of her, nudging him Ren’s general direction. Ren doesn’t hesitate, squealing in excitement now that Jungkook is there, grabbing his hands and pulling him into rhythm with her and Taehyung.

“Hey,” Jimin’s voice is low and breathy as you dance. “Can you wingman for me?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool. Bar?”

You let Jimin lead the way, the two of you both ordering drinks. Jimin starts a casual conversation with a cute girl next to him. She looks startled when she sees him and you understand why- silver hair, siren eyes, and a sultry smile are Jimin’s signatures whenever you’re at the bar. He turns and introduces you as his best friend. 

“You have a beautiful name,” she says. 

You flash a smile. “The feeling is mutual. I really like your shoes, by the way.”

“Lulus!”

You grin and order the three of you shots, sitting on the stool behind Jimin, spinning back and forth to the beat of the song rumbling from the dance floor. 

Aria relaxes and chats with Jimin longer. She sneaks glances at him when she thinks he’s not looking and you think it’s cute. Especially when Jimin excuses himself to go to the bathroom, leaving you in her care.

“He’s really nice,” Aria notes when Jimin is gone, turning to you. “You guys have known each other for a while?”

“Since elementary school. He and our other friend Taehyung are my favorite people in the world, honestly. And you?”

She sees the way you glance around and she winces. “Friends are kind of wasted over there,” she motions to a very rowdy group at a VIP lounge. “I sometimes do better away from that and just at the bar alone.”

“Ooof. I can relate- fuck is that Rian?”

Aria’s brows shoot up. “You know him?”

“Yes, please hide me!”

“What? Why?”

“I had a very embarrassing the last time I saw him.” Her eyes go wide and worried. “I kind of sort of fell asleep while he was going down on me.”

“Oh god,” she claps her hand over her mouth. “Was he that bad?”

“Awful- and I hate to say that because he’s so nice but oh my god.”

The confession brings you a little closer and you and Jimin convince Aria to join your group. Taehyung sucks you back to the dance floor where he presses you against his front, screaming the lyrics to a popular song you’re only vaguely familiar with.

It’s fun. Despite it being really loud and feeling sweaty, you almost forget what happened the night before with Yoongi. You’re enjoying your time with your friends and Seokjin squeezes you tight as he kisses you on the head, shouting to the world that you are his best baby sister and it’s not because you’re his only one.

You notice Yoongi on the edges of your vision. He nods to you once, a brief smile. You return it, but you avoid one another for the night, not daring to let him dance with you. 

By the time the night creeps into the hours of the morning, the club is emptying and you’re stumbling drunk, swinging back and forth between Ren and Jungkook. You could totally tease him that he has Ren’s lipstick on the corner of his mouth, but you don’t. You let them enjoy each other as everyone groups outside to go home with the two designated drivers in charge- Namjoon leading one car and Hoseok leading the other.

Jimin invites Aria and all of her friends back. You blanch when you see Rian step out into the streetlight and duck behind Jungkook, clutching his leather jacket. He follows your line of sight and whispers to Jimin, “Uh, dude? You invited Rian back.”

“Oops,” Jimin winces. He looks at you hiding behind Jungkook. “It’s a big house? Maybe he won’t see you?”

You know there’s little to no chance. So you slide into the car, already working out how you can just slip up to your room without anyone calling you out. You’re thinking of faking sick when the smell of sandalwood and alcohol hits you in the face.

Yoongi doesn’t tell you to move when he gets in the car. He simply shuffles in and lifts you, making you squeak as he slides under you and settles you on his lap while more people pile in.

“Yoongi, what-“

“We’re taking Jimin’s new friends with us,” Yoongi purrs in your ear. You lean forward, latching on the head rest of Namjoon’s seat. He looks at you in the rearview, sending you a questioning look. You smile apologetically. “There was no room in the other car.”

“Lucky for you.”

He leans forward, pressing his back to your chest as his lips ghost the shell of your ear. “I was thinking the same thing.”

Yoongi’s hands are slow and subtle as he leans further into the seat, pulling you flush with him. He pulls the seatbelt and takes care of wrapping it around you both, making sure it’s a snug fit. You can feel his heart beating erratically, almost in time with yours.

Carefully Yoongi settles his arms around your waist and gives you a teasing squeeze as the rest of the car fills up. Blessedly, Rian isn’t in your car. You haven’t figured out how to say hello to him yet. Hey, last time I saw you I was waking up while you put your clothes on because you tongued my pussy to sleep, didn’t seem appropriate.

Namjoon turns the car on the road, the interior filling with blasting AC to cool off the sweaty bodies packed in the car. Taehyung is blaring music over the speakers and the riders are either conversing loudly over the music or screaming along with him.

You and Yoongi are silent as you try and fail to breathe normally. His hand on the door-side of his seat begins rubbing lazy circles on your legs with his thumb, making your drunk haze thicken. Everything feels so much better with the buzz, and you nearly melt into him, nearly purring at the feeling.

Yoongi can tell. You hear him let out the softest chuckle into your ear as he whispers, “Yeah? You like it when I touch you like this?”

You dig your nails into the side of his thigh, making him hiss. “Careful, Min.”

“With you? Always.”

It’s a comment that is too sentimental for the moment. You tilt your head to the side, catching his eyes. They’re dark as ever and he flicks between looking at your eyes and your lips, dragging back and forth as he loses focus on which he wants to pay more attention to. Your lips twitch as you look away and settle into him, relaxing enough to let your head lay back on his shoulder just a little.

This is safe. You know it is. Taehyung doesn’t even have the mind to tease you for sitting on Yoongi’s lap, instead putting on your favorite song, turning in his seat to scream lyrics at you while you laugh in Yoongi’s arms. 

You hold your hand out to him, the invisible microphone at the ready and Taehyung grips your wrist, singing like his heart depends on it. You feel Yoongi laughing behind you with the rest of the car, and it’s nice.

You somehow manage to survive the ride back to the house, even with Yoongi sneaking squeezes of your ass and thighs in.

The first car is already unloaded and making chaos in the living room. You waver in the foyer, hesitant to enter the space where you know an awkward encounter is looming.

Taehyung notices you first and pats you on the back. “Maybe he doesn’t remember you falling asleep while he was face deep in your pussy.”

Yoongi overhears him and turns to you, frowning. “What?”

Taehyung realizes his mistake. “Wow I really need some tequila, goodbye!” 

You feel hot in the face. Not because it’s Yoongi and not because of the alcohol, but because you feel bad telling people. 

“Please don’t say anything,” you murmur to Yoongi as you walk toward the living room. “The last time we were all here, Rian and I were hooking up but I was really drunk and I wasn’t super into it and I fell asleep.”

Yoongi doesn’t laugh. His first move is to grab your wrist and stop you, pulling you back into the foyer as people pass you. His eyebrows are bunched together and you’d think his pout was adorable if he didn’t look so serious.

“He stopped when that happened, right?”

You’re bewildered. “Yeah,” you answer. “Pretty much right when he noticed. I woke up because he was making a lot of noise getting dressed. It was so awkward.”

“He didn’t do anything, right?”

“What? Yoongi, no. Rian was a gentleman, if not a little embarrassed. He didn’t do anything like that, I’m sorry. I realize how that sounded.”

He breathes out a sigh of relief and blinks slowly. “Sorry. Um. I got nervous.”

“Thank you, I really appreciate that. But Rian is a good guy- really. He’s just bad at oral.”

“Oh?” Yoongi leers at you then, taking a step forward so you’re looking up at him, blinking with your lips slightly parted as he lowers his voice even further. “Doesn’t know that you like that pretty little hole finger-fucked while you have your clit sucked?”

“Yoongi…”

“Doesn’t know how tight your cunt get right before you’re about to cream?”

“Yoongi,” you warn again, dizzy-drunk on his filthy mouth. 

He steps back toward the stairs. He flicks his head at them. “You know where you’ll find me.”

It takes you an hour of fighting with yourself to decide what you want to do. You’re coming down from your buzz and the world is screaming loud at the edges. Seeing Rian was both just as awkward and not as terrible as you expect- he just offers a nod of the head and nothing more.

You’re on your sixth round of debating whether you should go spend time with Yoongi, knowing where it’s going to go. Knowing that you shouldn’t. 

But you’re a hypocrite. Your friends are both within and without- some have retired for the night and some are in different parts of the house. As your eyes search the room for Ren, nearly breaking to ask her what to do, Jungkook finds you and beckons you.

“I have a wingman question to ask,” he whispers. You lean into the shadowy alcove as he blocks the main group of people from you. “You know I’m sort of into Ren.”

“You’re wearing her lipstick, babe.”

His hand shoots to his mouth and begins to scrub, making you laugh. “Whatever. I don’t have a room by myself, I share it with Jimin and Taehyung.”

“And Jimin wants to fuck Aria.”

“Yeah, and this isn’t college anymore. I have no interest in hooking up in a shared room.”

“Okay, well I don’t want to sleep in there either.”

His doe eyes are burning. “I know- the only people who have single rooms are Jin, Namjoon and Lydia and…” You already know the answer before he says, “Yoongi.”

“How is this me helping you?”

Jungkook dances back and forth on his feet, nearly whining as he quickly spits out the words, “Jin is definitely going to bang Jiah.” You make a face and he rushes to say, “Sorry bad visual. But he’s not going to let me use his room. Can you ask Yoongi to sleep in your room since there are two beds and I really need one?”

“You’re coming with me to ask him.”

Even though he protests, Jungkook does. You both wander to the third floor and knock on the door. When there’s no answer, you find Yoongi smoking on the balcony. He brightens when he sees you step outside, but you give a quick shake of your head and announce, “Jungkook has a favor to ask.”

Quickly, Jungkook gets through his narrative of how he wants to get laid- needs to get laid. He drops so many ‘please Yoongi’s’ and ‘I will do anything’ that Yoongi raises his brows. It’s not without a soft tease and making Jungkook swear to wash every sheet and towel in the morning.

“No favors needed,” Yoongi says, eyes sliding you. “You’ve done plenty.”

Every step toward your room is fueled by a pounding heart. Ren is in your room and Yoongi announces that there is a gift waiting for her on the third floor of the house, second door to the right. She is flame red and clearing her throat, struggling to figure out what to say.

“Relax,” Yoongi offers gently, giving her a disarming smile. “You’re both adults. If anyone makes it weird, you tell me. I’ll handle it.”

“Thank you,” Ren murmurs, ghosting past Yoongi and giving you a questioning look. You give her a shrug, playing it impassively. “Don’t snore, please. She struggles to sleep when people snore.”

Yoongi waits until Ren is out of the room with a soft click of the door before he says, “So. Are we sleeping?”

“What?”

“Kid, I’m teasing you. Of course you can go to sleep. No obligations here.” He notices how tense you are and he softens further. “Fuck, I’m really sorry, I thought you would laugh and I was hoping to take the edge off. Look, I can sleep on the couch-”

“You’re sleeping in here.”

He raises his brows at the firmness you use in your voice. “Are you sure? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable-“

“I’m not uncomfortable. I am equal parts very nervous and very excited.”

“Excited?”

You blush and shift a bit on your feet, unsure whether to sit, stand, take your clothes off- anything. “I… yes. Nervous because…”

“Because…” he prompts.

“I don’t want to disappoint anyone.”

He takes a few steps toward you as you look at your feet, hands wringing. Yoongi brushes his fingers across your face and tilts you to look at him. He’s so gentle that you want to fall into him and never stop falling. “You would never disappoint me if you’re not into it. That’s not- that’s not why I came in here.”

“It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

“I just… I totally lied to my friends today and didn’t tell them about last night, and it feels really stupid to be hiding this as an adult, especially when they know I’ve been pining over you.”

“Pining over me?”

You take a deep breath and force yourself to look him in the eye. “Please don’t think I am a giant loser when I say this.”

He shakes his head. “I would never.”

“Don’t be so sure,” you mutter but straighten. “I was always just a kid sister to you- I know you said earlier on the boat that maybe… maybe there were times you saw me in a different light. That’s cool- like really cool- but to my friends, it was like this forever crush that I never let go.”

He arches a brow but you push forward. “And I like the way you’re looking at me right now,” you admit. “But I also don’t want to make something out of nothing.”

“Okay, then I have a proposition for you.”

“A proposition?”

“We obviously need to talk. You’re saying things without really saying them, and I think there are some things I need to very blatantly say to you, I’ll even start with one now: I’m into you. Whatever that says about me being a piece of shit friend to your brother aside, I am.”

“Really?”

He laughs at your question, but it’s not condescending. “Yeah. So here’s the deal: we can sit down and talk right now and you can tell me what’s really making you feel insecure about what I’m telling you.”

“Or?”

“I can fuck you into that mattress the way I’ve wanted to do since you showed up yesterday, and we can talk after.”

“Oh.”

He takes a step closer and lowers his head, nose almost touching yours as he looks down at you. Your eyes zero in on his mouth and you become dizzy, remembering the feel of it.

An ache takes root deep inside you and you think about the words he muttered to you in the foyer. Doesn’t know that you like that pretty little hole finger-fucked while you have your clit sucked?

“Please,” you breathe.

You don’t need to tell him what you mean. You never have to tell Yoongi what you mean. He always knows.

 Kissing him changes the way you think about kissing. Before, it was something to initiate sexual encounters, or to express general fondness. But when he moves his mouth slowly against yours, taking his time to enjoy you and to smile into your mouth when he nips at you and you hum, you decide it’s more. It’s intimate, and it makes you feel closer to him. You tug at him, wanting him closer closer closer.

“Hold on,” he murmurs. “Locking the door.”

“Won’t that seem suspicious?” 

He walks to the door and flicks the lock. You sit on the edge of the bed, shivering. “No,” he murmurs, walking slowly toward you. You lean back on your palms, on display for him. “I’ll just say I didn’t want any drunk idiots wandering here and getting into your bed.”

“Oh? And you’re not a drunk idiot wandering into my bed?”

“Nope,” he grins. You open your legs and he slots himself between them, looking down at you while biting his lower lip. His blonde hair is styled back, a little loose from the sweat and his hands combing through it.  “I am sober and being invited.”

“Hmm.” 

Without warning, Yoongi drops down his knees. It’s so similar to the position you were in the night before. You’re in a trance as he grins a gummy smile at you, lifting your foot and working at the laces on your boot, fingers nimble. You fixate on them as he pulls one shoe off before working on the other.

“You know,” he observes. “I always loved that your style hasn’t changed.”

You frown. “I like to think it’s much better than in college.”

“I’ll give you that. But you’ve always dressed in what you like- even at a club you’re in these,” he flicks your boots. “I like it.”

“What else do you like?”

"You,” he mutters as he stands up. You follow your instinct, bringing your hands to run up his thighs, nails scratching him through his jeans. He makes an appreciative sound as you trace the outline of his hardening cock. Yoongi tilts his head back slightly, eyes fluttering shut as you continue to trace him through his jeans, applying more pressure as you near his tip.

With careful fingers, you pull at his belt, undoing it and working the zipper open. Yoongi watches, eyes focused and pupils slightly blown as you don’t pull his pants all the way down. Instead, you pull them down just below his cock, chewing on your lip as you take him in your hand, heavy and hard. 

You look up through your eyelashes at him and you give him a squeeze, gliding your hand down his shaft in a slow pump. Yoongi sighs, heads tilted back you slow-stroke him from the base of his shaft to his tip, running your thumb over the precum there teasingly. Yoongi hums, hips jerking slightly when you squeeze a little at the base.

“Why are you being a tease?” He asks, voice low and breathy. You’ve never heard him this shaky before. You rub your thighs together, watching the way his neck becomes flushed and his eyes keep fluttering. “You rubbing those pretty thighs together for friction? Does touching my cock make you wet?”

You nod, dazed. Yoongi grabs you gently by the jaw, urging you to lift your gaze back up to meet his. “Come on,” he says softly, smirking. “Want a taste?”

Fuck. You do.

You lean forward, tongue darting out to circle the sticky-head lazily. He lets out a loud sound and you grin, suckling his tip gently. “Fuck, don’t tease me like that.” 

Pulling off him with a pop, you sigh. “Fine,” pants off. 

Yoongi doesn’t need to be told twice, helping you pull him out of his jeans, cock swaying heavily. You can’t help but shake your head when you grasp him again, boldly licking him from base to tip, laving messily with the thick vein throbbing there. 

“Fuck,” you swear. “No wonder you kept fucking in public places, did you just want everyone to see your dick?”

He smirks. “Nah, just thought it was cool and thrilling.”

“Yeah?” You bat your lashes at him as you bring your lips slowly to the tip, sticking out your tongue to give a soft, kitten lick. “You liked being a little slut?”

Something between you changes then. A fire is lit in his eyes sparks and he pulls your head, yanking you away from his dick so that you’re straining your neck to look like him. “Careful, I might just fuck that throat of yours since I’m such a slut.”

You leaned up further, whispering, “What if I want you to?”

“Fuck yeah, you want to?” You nod, eager. “Start slow, baby. I’ll fuck your throat when I think you’re ready.”

So you start slow, gathering spit in your mouth before letting it drip onto his tip, glob sliding down the shaft, mouth chasing it eagerly. You swallow him down, cheeks hollow, tongue hungry, sucking slowly as you relax your throat.

It’s messy. You let yourself drool as you begin to take Yoongi further and further into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks with a gentle suck as you go. You’re careful to guard your teeth, letting your tongue run on the underside of his shaft as you bob your head, hand working in tandem with steady pressure and a gentle twist as you please the parts of him you can’t reach.

Divine sounds fall from his mouth as you work yourself into a faster pace. The sounds are obscene, filled with wet gurgles and a soft choke when you go down too far too quickly. Yoongi’s hips are twitching but he’s not thrusting. Yoongi’s hands cradle your head, watching as you come up for air, letting drool and strings of precum connect your mouth to his cock.

“Fuck yeah,” Yoongi growls. “Make it fucking messy so I can fuck myself deeper.”

“Mmmm. Want it.”

“Yeah? Greedy for my cock?” When you nod, Yoongi lets out a vial string of curses, shuffling back. “Lay on your back with your head hanging off the bed, baby.”

The nickname sends a shiver through you. You want to hear Yoongi call you that forever. 

You lay back on the bed, the top of your head slightly off the bed so Yoongi has a decent angle to slide into your throat easily. You watch his pretty hands stroke his even prettier cock and you let out a moan for him, enchanted by the way he pleases himself.

“Never knew you were so dirty,” Yoongi smirks. As if to make a point, you open up for him and stick your tongue out invitingly, a glint in your eye. “Whose the slut now?”

You watch him as he grips the base of his cock, your mouth open wide as he slowly pushes the tip into the heat of your mouth. He groans as he sinks further, sliding against your tongue, careful to ease his way into it. 

“Fuuuuuuck,” Yoongi whispers, setting a slow, shallow pace. You are careful to keep your jaw slack. Yoongi’s hands move to cradle the sides of your face gently, pads of his fingers applying the slightest pressure as he holds you in place. “Such a filthy fucking girl. You love having my cock in your mouth, don’t you?”

You hum happily around him as he slowly picks up his pace. He’s careful not to plunge to the back of your throat, letting your spit pool in your mouth to lubricate him. “Tap my thigh if it’s too much, okay baby?” You give a tiny nod as Yoongi starts to fuck your mouth in earnest, you head tilted back to give him access to your throat. “Fuck, such a perfect girl for me.”

Pleasure ripples through your spine. You feel like you can come from the sight of Yoongi losing himself in your mouth alone. You watch his thighs flex as he thrusts into your mouth, careful to breathe through your nose. His grip on you tightens but remains gentle as his cock kisses the back of your throat. You feel your throat constrict lightly, a soft gag sounding but nothing you can’t handle, your eyes smarting slightly.

Yoongi loses himself in your mouth, eyes closing as he throws his head back, letting out a deep moan. You love listening to him moan, the throaty pitch, and the humming.

As Yoongi pleases himself, you get lost in his movements, in the feel of the spit running down the spit of your face and the way his hands worship you, brushing away the spit and keeping you steady.

 Reaching over your head, you run your nails down Yoongi’s thighs. His muscles jump and he lets out that deep sound again.

Yoongi pulls out abruptly. You gasp for air, blinking at him. Tears track down your face as Yoongi massages your jaw briefly before bending down to steal a searing kiss from you, tongue tangled in the spit and precum in your mouth.

He parts from you, lips brushing lightly against your nose as he murmurs, “Wanna come in that messy pussy of yours.”

Yoongi rips his shirt up and over his head as you scramble to your knees, taking your shirt off. He grabs your hands as you reach for your bra, stopping you. You frown at him but he gets onto the bed, naked and beautiful, chest red from the blood flow running through him.

“C’mere,” he murmurs, pulling your face to his as he kisses you again.

Every time you kiss him it’s like doing it all over again for the first time. He explores the taste of you while his hands brush up your ribcage and to your back, pulling your bra off. Your heart flutters, realizing that he wants to undress you himself.

Yoongi’s movements are loving and methodical. His hands come back around as he deepens the kiss further, gently gripping your breasts and kneading softly, thumbs brushing over your pebbled nipples. You keen into his mouth, head tilting back slightly at the electric feel of him against your skin.

“Yeah?” he whispers, kissing down your exposed neck. He’s careful with his teeth, giving you more tongue and lips than bites. “Sensitive?”

You nod your head, looking down as Yoongi lowers himself, eyes looking up at you as he takes a nipple into his mouth, sucking gently. You clap a hand over your mouth as you let out a moan, eyes rolling back in your head as his laugh travels through you.

“These fucking tits are perfect,” he mutters, sticking out his tongue to flick teasingly over your bud before he draws a line with his tongue to your other peak, circling with his skilled tongue. “Honestly could suck these tits for hours,” he adds. As if to make his point, he wraps his mouth around your nipple and sucks hard. You’re shaking as he pulls away with a pop. “But I’m gonna bust if I don’t fuck you.”

“Please do,” you beg. You can’t remember ever begging for a man the way you are right now as Yoongi unbuttons your jeans. “Want your cock so fucking bad, Yoongi. Please.”

He helps you out of your jeans and kisses back up your stomach, between your breasts, and to your lips. “Mmm you ask so nicely, my sweet girl. Lay back for me.”

Later, you wonder if you’ll be embarrassed by how quickly you obey him, laying back on the bed. You watched him with a heated gaze as he leaves the bed for a moment, rooting around his jeans before you see the flash of the foil in his hands. He tosses it next to you and you frown.

“Relax,” he chuckles. “I’m gonna use it. Need to prep you, baby.”

“Want it now,” you whine.

“Hush,” he murmurs, leaning to steal a kiss while his hand brushes to stroke up your slit. You moan into his mouth as he circles your clit lazily, applying gentle pressure. “You’re so wet for me but I need to fuck you open a little. Okay?”

“Okay.”

He gives you a peck that is far too sweet for the way he presses a finger into your pussy, making you swear and arch into him. It’s not nearly enough as he strokes slowly, finger brushing right against your g-spot on the first few strokes. Yoongi senses you want more as you claw at the back of his neck, sliding in another finger.

You sigh, letting your eyes close as he worships your chest with his mouth, sucking and licking and peppering sweet kisses everywhere he can reach. All the while he fucks you open with his skilled fingers, making your hips roll in time with his wrist.

Yoongi makes you lightheaded, hitting just the right spot that you’re already reeling and toppling toward a terrifyingly quick release. Yoongi can feel you fluttering around him and he laughs before nibbling your ear. “Can you take a third?” You nod, even though you’re not sure. He rewards you with a kiss on the cheek and a soft, “Sweet girl.”

Three fingers are a lot. You make a sound and tighten slightly, and he slows his pace, letting you adjust. The burn begins to fade and you wiggle your hips. His grin is gummy as his wrist moves again, working you until your legs are wide open for him, begging for him.

Your first orgasm lingers just beyond you. For a moment, you think he’ll stop before it. Instead, he sits on his knees, bringing his other hand into play to circle your clit, ripping your orgasm right through you.

You turn your head and shout into a pillow as his hands guide you through it, gasping at how fucking good he makes you feel. You’re still trembling and blinking in a daze when he pulls his fingers from you, staring at you as he brings his fingers to his mouth, sticking out his togue to lick your cum off his glistening digits.

“Mmm. My favorite.”

You could pass out.

Yoongi reaches for the condom then and rips it with his teeth, eyes never leaving you as he rolls it over his  leaking tip. Just as the anxiety is about to sneak up on you, Yoongi murmurs, “Do you still want to do this?” You nod. “I need to hear you say it. We can stop now if you want and just go to sleep. You are completely in control.”

“Please,” you murmur again. “I want you. Like really fucking bad, Yoongi.”

Yoongi smiles, and it’s different from the others. You don’t know why, you just know that it is. Your breath gets stuck in your throat and you realize you’re holding your breath as he carefully guides the his cock into you.

And fuck Yoongi is thick, his cock breaching you with tight pressure as he slowly slides in, eyes on you the entire time. He stops after he’s less than halfway in, murmuring, “Breathe for me.” So you do, taking a deep breath because it’s been a while, your walls stretching around him. “That’s it,” he nods. “Keep breathing.”

It’s hard to keep breathing. Not because it hurts, but because it’s Yoongi and his hands are on you and your hands are pulling him close as he bottoms out, moaning. He immediately cages you in, his closeness overwhelming and heady. 

Yoongi kisses you as he pulls all the way out before slamming back in, stealing your breath with how deep and targeted the stroke is. He does it again and again, fucking you into the mattress, each stroke slow but hard. 

“You feel like heaven,” he gasps, setting a pace. Your hands find purchase at the back of his neck, holding his mouth to your throat while you run your fingers through his hair. “Fuck that feels good.”

“You like your hair pulled, huh?” You gasp as he changes the angle, hands going under your ass to lift you. His cock hits deeper now, tip just kissing the edge of your cervix, and holy fuck. “Fuuuuck please keep fucking me like that.”

“Anything you ask,” he pants, doing exactly that.

You feel like he’s ripping you apart and making you back up as he fucks into you with purpose. It feels maddeningly good, and you can feel how fucking easily he’s bringing you to another orgasm.

Yoongi feels it too. “Mmm like that,” he breathes. You plant your feet on the bed, meeting him thrust for thrust. “You gonna come just like this?” You nod as your orgasm mounts. He laughs, the sound is breathy and dark. “Yeah, you fucking are.”

Words don’t exist when he fucks into you harder, chasing your second orgasm of the night. You start to squirm against him and you feel his cocky smile against your neck before he licks a strip up your throat, stopping just under your ear as he murmurs, “Play with your clit for me. Wanna feel you come so bad.”

You do as he says, dipping your hand between your sweaty bodies and circling your clit in tight, fast circles. You buck into him, the stimulation driving you toward what feels like madness. You’re gasping and you must nearly be screaming because Yoongi covers your mouth and whispers a string of words, begging you to come for him.

All at once, your orgasm hits. It’s stronger than the first and it lasts longer, and you’re babbling into Yoongi’s hands as your limbs lock and your feet dig into the bed. You’re panting as you come down from it, Yoongi’s hand leaving your mouth as you gasp for air.

Yoongi slows his pace, letting you catch your breath as he slowly fucks you, kissing your sweaty brow, your nose, your cheeks. Everything he does feels intimate.

“So pretty when you come,” he groans, catching your lips in a messy kiss. “Really want to see you ride me if you can. It’s okay if you’re tired-“

“Wanna,” you mumble. Your orgasm has left you a little dreamy and dazed, but your thighs aren’t trembling with exhaustion just yet.

Gently, Yoongi pulls out of you, condom shining with your cum. Your pussy is soaked and messy but you don’t care. Yoongi settles himself against the headboard, still panting lightly. He’s sweaty and sticky and you love the feel of him as you crawl into his lap, reaching behind you to grab his cock, slick and perfect for an easy glid.

Sinking down on him, you steady yourself with your hands on his shoulders, feeling the muscles twitch. His hands grip your hips, fingers digging in hard. You feel so much fuller with him under you and it’s divine.

Yoongi slaps your ass lightly, making you look down at him. He’s grinning as his hand soothes the stinging flesh. “Couldn’t help myself. I like your ass.”

“You like my tits too,” you observe, rolling your hips and letting yourself take on a natural motion.

The slide of his cock is leisurely and brilliant, earning appreciative sounds from Yoongi as his hands leave your ass to grip your tits. “Yeah,” he agrees, leaning forward to lavish a nipple with his tongue. “You’re absolutely right.”

Every nerve is lit up as he lavishes attention to your breasts as you roll your hips, grinding your cunt into his pubic bone. He gets distracted when you swivel your hips, lifting yourself lightly. You smile as he closes his eyes, letting you take control, lifting yourself up and down, pulling pretty sounds from his bitten lips and flushed throat.

Sweat beads on his chest, making your hands slip. He grabs your wrists, holding your hands against him as you press down on him for leverage to bounce. Yoongi is hissing and whispering your name, trembling.

“Just like that,” he gasps.

“Yeah?”

“Mm gonna come if you keep it up.”

“Good,” you huff. “Wanna see your face when you cum.”

“Kiss me,” he asks, voice deep.

So you do, pressing your chests together. He wraps his arms around you, locking you together as he plants his feet on the bed, fucking into you with abandon, mouths tangled. His brows are pinched and you’re momentarily fixated on his face. The button tip of his nose. The blush in his round cheeks. The soft curve of his eyes.

Min Yoongi is beautiful and your heart swells painfully.

“Fuck- gonna come.”

“Come on,” you whisper.

Yoongi thrusts into you and freezes, cocking twitching as he comes heavily. He hides his face in the juncture between your neck and shoulder. His moan vibrates against you. You clutch at him, equally shaky and exhausted as he comes down from his high.

For a moment, you’re locked in a sweaty embrace, skin sticking to one another. Yoongi shifts slightly and presses a kiss to your mouth, short and sweet. You smile and gently untangle yourself from him. He’s careful as he gets up, tying the condom and heading to the trash before re-routing to the toilet.

“Good thinking,” you grunt. You can’t leave evidence. “Maybe open the windows.”

Yoongi chuckles and does exactly that as you lay on the bed, thighs quaking. You watch him lift the windows open, cool air entering immediately. He’s beautiful in the moonlight, carved from marble.

“C’mon,” he mumbles tiredly. You furrow your brow as he pulls at your limbs. “Shower.”

-

Washed and sitting cross-legged on the edge of the bed, you watch as Yoongi towels off his hair, throwing the damp towel into the laundry basket. You feel warm all over, watching him stretch like a cat, a small strip of skin visible just above his sweatpants when he moves.

The shower was innocent enough. You let Yoongi wash you off and place wet, open-mouth kisses on your shoulder, returning the favor. Even though you were chastised for wandering hands. You can’t help it. He’s addictive, even standing in the middle of the room with a gentle grin, looking at you.

“You’re cute,” he hums.

You look down at yourself. A pillow is tucked between your arms and legs, holding it for comfort as your nerves begin to spike at the thought of having any sort of emotional talk with Yoongi. You don’t know what you want to say, exactly. 

“Can I sit next to you?” he asks. “Or is that too close?”

“We were pretty close a few minutes ago, so yeah.”

He smiles. “I like to make sure.”

Yoongi sits down, the bed dipping with his weight. You angle yourself to face him lightly, taking a deep breath. He’s still tinted pink from the shower and the sex. He looks tired, though, and a little shy as he gives you a soft smile, matching your position and folding his legs.

“I feel like you need to hear things in explicits,” Yoongi says, making your heart kick up. “I liked you in college. Never made a move because you were Seokji’ns sister and I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. I think I realized it that night your freshman year you picked us up from Union and it was us in the front, Jungkook and Jin in the back.” He smiles fondly. Your heart pounds listening to his confession as he continues, “And before you ask why now, it’s because I haven’t seen you in two years, and the thought of going another two more without doing something about how I felt seemed… depressing.”

Yoongi says it so easily. You stare at him as he watches you with a soft expression, waiting for you patiently. It’s difficult to wrap your head around. He likes you. Has for a while. All of those years you spent wondering what if had lingered right there, completely unseen by you. 

But he still hasn’t said what he wants out of this, or what he expects, and you’re unsure of what your next steps are. Years of seeing people date unofficially and never leave the talking stage makes you nervous. Trying to think of what to tell your brother makes you nervous. 

You chew on your lip. Yoongi pokes your knee lightly. “Say whatever it is that’s bothering you.”

“I just… so do you want to date me?”

He nods. “If it’s something you’re interested in.”

You could pass out from happiness, but instead, you push forward. “What about my brother? Doesn’t it bother you at all?”

“Of course it bothers me. I’ve had conversation at length with Seokjin about how he just wants the best for you. I know your brother trusts me implicitly, but I don’t know if he would think I’m what’s best for you.”

“Why? He loves you.”

“The same way he might not think you’re the best for me. He knows a lot about us. It’s hard to remove that from the context.” Yoongi sighs. “I can’t promise that it would work or that it wouldn’t be weird if it didn’t work. Quite frankly, I’m not perfect and I’m a little grouchy. But if it’s something you’d want to try, I’d… I’d talk to your brother.”

“Really?”

He grins down at his lap. “Yeah. He’s going to want to throttle me, but,” he shrugs. “What good is a best friend if you can’t have hard conversations?”

“What if he said no?”

“I’d tell him too bad. I want to keep fucking that throat of yours.”

You make an unpleasant noise and peel yourself from the bed, making to move to the other one. Yoongi laughs after you. “Don’t do that,” Yoongi mumbles, catching your hand and pulling you toward his bed. “I said I liked you. I’m not trying to pull a fast one. I said what I meant. This isn’t some stupid immature ploy to string you along. I’m an adult, and so is your brother, quite frankly.”

His hand is warm as he sits. He won’t let go, squeezing your hand lightly and making you look at him. You try to steady your heart- to take what he’s saying at face value. “You’ve spent a lot of time thinking I’m too good for you,” Yoongi murmurs. He hits the nail on the head and you stare at him, mouth slightly agape. “And I’m sorry if I ever did something to encourage that way of thinking.” 

“It’s nothing you did. I just…”

He pulls you so that you’re standing in between his legs. He lifts your hands and puts them on his shoulders, you chew the inside of his cheek, tentatively meeting his eyes. “You don’t have to explain the way you feel. I understand.” 

“Stop being so nice.”

“You want me to be mean, huh?” he teases, leaning to nip at your wrist. You pout at him and he chuckles, hands gripping the back of your thighs and squeezing. He looks happy when he looks up at you. Really happy. “Would that make it easier on you? If I was mean.”

“Yes. You are painfully understanding. What’s a girl to do? I’m not even supposed to like you.” 

“Like I said. If this is something you’d be interested in… I can talk to Jin. Explain that I’d like to get to know you in a romantic setting. We’re all adults here, it’s going to bother him but surely not forever.” 

“Okay. Not… not this weekend though. I don’t want to ruin the entire weekend if he blows up. I do like you, by the way,” you add, realizing he’s done most of the confessing. “I just… you were untouchable. Something that I was allowed to dream about but not have. It might take a little adjusting for me to not feel… I guess the word is timid?”

He kisses a wrist. “Okay. Come on, I’m cold and tired.”

“What if Ren comes back in the morning?”

Yoongi is already making space for you in the bed, pulling back the blankets for you. You tentatively climb into the bed, seeking the warmth of his side and the smell of vanilla soap on his skin. “Door is locked,” he mumbles. “But set an alarm if you want, I don’t care. Just get the fuck over here, sweet girl.” 

With a soft smile, you get in bed next to him. He’s quick to wrap arms around you, pulling you into his chest. Your eyes close immediately at his nearness, a thrill going through you when he hums tiredly and kisses you on the head once.

Intimacy like this is new. You’re not used to sharing a space like this, least of all with Yoongi. It makes you laugh, to think that had either of you just spoken up, you could have had this a little bit sooner. 

“What’s so funny?” It comes out half coherent and you open your eyes to peek at him. His eyes are barely open, but he’s watching you, eyes swimming. 

“You’re more affectionate than I imagined.” 

“With you, yeah.” 

“So it’s just me?” 

He nods. “Just wan’ be close,” he mutters, eyes fluttering shut, breath fanning your forehead. “Tired.”

“Goodnight,” you murmur, getting brave and placing a quick kiss on his chin. He doesn’t open his eyes or reply, but his mouth twitches into a smile before his face smooths out, drifting. 

So you fall asleep. 

-

No one disturbs you in the morning. You forego the advice to set an alarm, trusting in the locked door to keep you safe. The entire house sleeps late into the morning, giving you time to be pulled from sleep slowly, blinking in confusion when you feel another person next to you before you remember it’s Yoongi snoring lightly behind you. 

Shifting slightly, you try to get out of bed. Yoongi makes a whiny noise, pulling you back to him. You giggle, turning to look at him over your shoulder. His face is puffy with sleep and his hair is sticking in different directions.

Adorable. 

“I have to pee,” you complain. He shrugs and pulls you to him tighter, back pressed against his front. “Yoooongi.”

“You’re warm.”

“I’ll be gone for a second.”

He pouts, eyes still closed but he lets you go. You smile all the way to the bathroom. It’s lucky that you go to the bathroom. The moment you begin washing your face, the door starts rattling to the room. Yoongi hollers that he’s got it, dragging himself to let Ren into the room before tossing himself on the bed that Ren once occupied.

Ren looks suspicious as she enters the room, her eyes dragging from where Yoongi looks like he’s gone right back asleep to you bent over the sink in sweatpants and a baggy shirt, faucet running. For a second, you stare. She knows. She knows she knows she knows. 

“Ew, why is the window open? It’s freezing in here,” Ren huffs, diving into your bed and wrapping herself in your sheets. You fight the urge to tell her bad idea but you bite your tongue. “Please don’t tell me you like the room as freezing as she does?”

“Ren, I let you fuck in my room, the least you could do is let me sleep in.”

Ren rolls her eyes and her attention focuses back on you as you finish washing your face. “Does he snore?”

“He does, when he sleeps at all. He’s a night owl.” 

“Right, so let me now,” he protests. 

Sunlight filters into the room as you and Ren talk in hushed tones. Yoongi goes back to sleep, which is incredibly… normal. 

In the bathroom, you and Ren follow a simple skincare routine. She glances at the nest of blankets that Yoongi has created in her bed before she murmurs, “Thank you for last night. I know it was probably weird sleeping in the same room as him.”

Guilt trickles in. You think about telling her. You so badly want to tell her everything, to spill it out and hear her opinion. You scrub extra hard with your exfoliant as if you can grind the guilt out of you. 

Sighing, you lean down and wash your face. “It was fine,” you manage. “Yoongi has slept at my house so many times it was pretty normal.”

Except you never had sex when Yoongi spent the night growing up. Even in college when he’d spend holidays there. That was a huge difference and you felt a dark, dark pit form in your stomach as you smiled at her, shrugging. Played it cool. 

“Still,” Ren sighs. “Wish it was different for you.

So did you. Glancing at Yoongi, you wondered how you were going to do this. He hadn’t said when he would talk to Seokjin or what he was going to say. He just told you he would. After the weekend. Which had two more days to survive.

Two more days of being a liar.

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