#yo the grip of OP though?

[rosdevw2]

his fucking tit!!!

Prime : I want to know what size your chest is?

Soundwave : #@$%$&%!!!!

[chuuyasheaven]

"Thigh lover"— Dazai Osamu

"Dazai always loved your thighs, especially when they're in thigh highs. Whenever they are, he either goes on town on you or fucks the living daylights out of you, this time though it was neither but also everything of the above."

Tags: sub! Dazai Osamu / afab! Reader, face sitting, pet names, bratty? Dazai, pw/op, oral sex, slightly mean! Reader, edging???, pussydrunk! Dazai, squirting, degrading kink, everything is consented, overstimulation?, thigh fucking, Reader is thicc, he's whiny ong, idrk what I'm doing (again), ooc! Dazai, might contain grammar errors, rushed, short?, etc.

Notes: howdy, tryin' to keep up rn

All because he acted out, once again being bratty and annoying. So what's better than punishment? A punishment, which also could make you feel good. Then the perfect idea came up in your head. In this moment, Dazai's lips were making out with your cunt, while you were enjoying yourself. How is that an punishment, you ask? Well, he's not allowed to touch himself while he's eating you out, if he tries then—

"Mph—", you slightly closed your thighs together so his face would be squished. "I said no touching, did i?", you asked coldly, Dazai was only able to try to continue to eat you out, even though he couldn't since you closed your legs. "Don't make me repeat myself, brat.", you hissed at him pissed, your voice raspy at that, which made it harder to resist. ". . Yes,", he said muffled, you start to slightly smirk again. "Try to be good for once, dear, then maybe you could get what you want.", you stated, releasing Dazai from your grip. He almost immediately started getting back to where he was cut off. You grabbed his hair as he grabbed your thighs, holding onto them. He could tell that you were getting close, since he was good at it. Soon, it washed over you and you gushed onto his face, Dazai could've cum just then and there but he didn't.

As you came down from your first orgasm, Dazai spoke up. "Did I do good?", he asked while looking at you. You looked back at him smirked lightly. "Well, you did, but I don't think you really learned your lesson. .", he pouted at you, and you tried to think of something, because you couldn't stop there. Then another solution popped up. "If you wanna cum so bad, then fuck my thighs, baby.", Dazai's eyes lit up, he was willing to do anything to cum at least once. You got down from his face and sat down on the bed, while Dazai was unbuckling his belt. As you glanced at his boxers, you could see that he was leaking, look at how desperate he is! Parting your thighs a little so he had some space to slide into, he almost instantly slide in and you closed them together. Dazai bit his lip when he started to fuck your thighs, sliding in and out of them, already heavy breathing. "Feels good, doesn't it, slut?", Dazai nodded quickly while he soon to whimper quietly.

Dazai was slowly getting closer to his climax, his whimpers and whines getting louder. You had to admit, looking at him while he's so pathetically desperate had you dripping. But, you still didn't have any plans to have him cum, where's the fun in that? "Pleasepleaseplease—", he choked, you could feel him leaking more than before, meaning he was close to cumming, so parted your thighs for him to stop but also lose his orgasm. Dazai whined at this move of yours. "But I–i thought. . You said I could cum!", he whined, you looked at him rather cold again. "I didn't say it like that, besides, even if I said so I still didn't get an apology, 'Samu.", you corrected him, he was getting really frustrated with this. "Sorry.", he whispered quickly, did he think this was enough? "You can do better than this, can you? If you apologize to me and mean it, you can fuck me, alright? You know what I wanna hear, dear.", Dazai was ready to apologize genuinely just to feel your perfect cunt again, even the thought made his dick twitch.

Dazai looked down while starting off with his apology, starting to almost beg to feel your walls around him. "I'm s–sorry for acting out, I really didn't mean to annoy you. . Please, can you make me cum? I swear I'll be good f'you.", he said with a whiny tone, you smirked at him again and grabbed his chin to make him look at you. "You mean it, baby?", you cooed quite mockingly, he nodded. "Yes, please, need you so bad.", he was lowkey cute like this, so you accepted it, besides, you wanted to feel him inside you now. "Okay, if you really mean it, then I'll forgive you. You have my permission now.", you stated, Dazai's eyes lit up again, excitement visible within his eyes. You spread your legs enough for him, your pussy already wet enough for him to slide in, he could've sworn that he wanted to just cum of the sight. Dazai entered and already came right inside you, you let out a quiet moan of surprise. He already started to thrust now, he wasn't slow but also not rough, just somewhere in between.

It felt so good you could've sworn that you almost wanted to cum at this moment, but you tried to stay dominant. You tried really hard, but Dazai lifted your leg to reach deeper inside, whenever he pulled that trick you were a moaning mess. As his hips slapped against yours, the sound filling your bedroom, you were starting to lose control and started to moan with him. Then you felt your second orgasm near, when it washed over you Dazai came again stopping for a moment. You tried to catch your breath, but Dazai started to thrust again, trying to chase another orgasm. Dazai's face starting to get sweaty, his face flushed and slutty moans and whimpers leaving both of your lips. "F–fuck, Dazai. . Slow down—", your pleas fell on deaf ears, he was only able to fuck and pant heavily. Your legs were lifted again, Dazai placed on his hips to reach deeper inside you, which made you almost gush around his cock again. How did he manage to make this sensitive this quick? "Ah! D–dazai. .", you moaned, trying to calm him down but he was in a trance, he was pussydrunk now.

It was incredible, so much that you were nearing your third, but this one was feeling kind of weird. Dazai kept on thrusting inside you, already reaching to your clit to make you cum faster, which definitely did. When he trusted once more, you felt it coming, intense. "D–dazai, I'm close—" was the last thing you said before you squirted all over him, your juices gushing around him too. Open seeing this, Dazai moaned one last time before cumming inside you, twitching insanely a lot. You were out of breath and so was Dazai, he pulled out and your mixed juices leaked out of your cunt. He laid beside you, you moved over to him and got closer.

"This. . Was something else, 'donna."

This wasn't rlly abt thighs was it?

[callofdutygame24]

Vanguard: The Perfect Blend of CoD Experiences

Yo, Vanguard’s killstreaks got a sick WWII glow-up, with dope additions like a flamethrower Juggernaut and attack and guard dogs. If you’re looking to buy Xbox games that offer this kind of intense and exciting gameplay, Vanguard is definitely worth checking out! The guard dogs are a major W—they run around on their own and only go after the enemy, which is super clutch in hardcore mode. Unlike other killstreaks that might accidentally mess up your team, the attack dogs are straight-up focused on wrecking the enemy and keeping your squad safe. Honestly, Vanguard might be the GOAT of CoD games I’ve played. After grinding out hundreds of hours in Modern Warfare and Black Ops Cold War, Vanguard is probably my top pick. It takes all the best parts from the past games and nails the balance. I had a few lag issues, but I’m pretty sure that was my bad, not the servers. If you were vibing with Modern Warfare but not feeling Cold War, or if you were into Cold War but not so much Modern Warfare, Vanguard’s got you covered. It’s looking fire, sounds dope, and feels amazing. Vanguard might just be the best CoD ever, with its jaw-dropping graphics on the new consoles and perfectly balanced gunplay. It’s got a fresh spin on the WWII and D-Day vibes, making both the solo campaign and multiplayer straight-up lit.

Diverse Heroes: Arthur Kingsley and Lucas Riggs Break New Ground in Vanguard

As you dive into the Special Forces soldiers' stories, you get to step into their shoes and play through the epic moments that shaped them into elite warriors. If you’re looking to buy PS5 games, Vanguard offers an immersive experience that lets you fully engage with these characters' transformative journeys. You’re not just battling through key WWII turning points; you’re experiencing it all through the eyes of a global squad—Task Force One. You’ll switch between characters and then head to the final showdown in Berlin, where you and your squad have to band together and face off against the Nazis in their last stand. The story’s so gripping it’ll make you wanna dive into multiplayer, which is exactly what a killer single-player campaign should do. The campaign spans four major battle zones: the Middle East, the Pacific, Berlin, Stalingrad, and Normandy. You’ll rock the role of four key characters from the Special Forces. It kicks off with Arthur Kingsley, a Black British Airborne soldier who parachutes into France. I’m here for the fact that Kingsley, who faces Nazi racism, is the squad leader—totally triggering the racist villains. This character is based on a real-life hero. Then there’s Lucas Riggs, an Aussie soldier in the Middle East taking on Rommel’s forces. He and his squad are rebels who don’t exactly follow orders but bring serious heat when they go off-script and get results.

Dynamic Battle Modes and Tactical Destruction: Vanguard's New Multiplayer Experience

The Sledgehammer crew dug deep into stories and characters, and a bunch of them make their way into multiplayer—where Call of Duty really flexes. That’s part of why the game has sold over 400 million copies total and continues to rack up 25 to 35 million copies a year. Even though Battlefield 2042 is dropping on November 19 and is all about that futuristic modern warfare vibe, Vanguard holds its own. Sure, some players might think it’s less lit to go in with WWII gear compared to modern weaponry, especially if they’re all about Warzone. But Vanguard’s multiplayer game is putting in work. It’s got different battle modes like tactical 6v6, assault with 20 to 48 players, and Blitz for massive chaos with a ton of players. Plus, there’s “tactical destruction” where you can blast through or demolish wooden barriers, kinda like what you’ve seen in Battlefield. Vanguard also rolls out 20 multiplayer maps and new modes like Champion Hill, which throws you into a small map with a Gulag-style fight and a limited number of players.

Vanguard’s Solid Gameplay Meets Some Technical Hiccups: A Balanced Review

The details are straight-up mind-blowing. At one point, you’re sprinting through a Berlin building under siege, and an explosion rattles the place, making a massive metal Nazi cross (not a swastika) drop with a loud clunk. The environments are next-level too, with little touches like flocks of birds adding to the realism. It almost feels like a cinematographer directed the game, and that’s kinda true. The gunplay is solid, and I definitely noticed the differences when using the Gunsmith in multiplayer to tweak my weapon with new attachments. That’s clutch for multiplayer, where it can feel like a grind to get your gear just right. The maps make sense, and the connections with Warzone and Zombies fit well too. It’s like the Call of Duty universe has an architect, and everything’s falling into place. Now, we just need a Call of Duty metaverse. Call of Duty: Vanguard hits the sweet spot with its historical vibes, solid gameplay, variety, and engaging story. It pulls everything together in a way that makes sense. It’s not quite as groundbreaking as Call of Duty: Modern Warfare, which was a game-changer for the franchise with its depth and intense themes. Vanguard’s a solid entry, but the combat stutters make me wonder if it’s as polished as it could be. The game’s crashed a few times, especially in Blitz modes with lots of players. Still, it’s held up really well in multiplayer, and I enjoyed grinding through to the first Prestige level with a 0.84 kill/death ratio. The more I played, the more I got into it.

[mar-iiposa]

prompt: the boys somehow get into a tickle fight with their crush (not s/o yet), and when they ask "what's the magic word?" when asked to stop, the reader confesses their feeling for them and soon realizes afterwards

a/n: didn't know if you wanted this as a story or headcanon, so I'm turning this into a headcanon if that's alright ! also, I love this headcanon, it's so cute :')

warnings: none, just some fluff and a small innuendo !

Leonardo

you're on your phone, lying on leo's bed, peacefully scrolling through your app, pinterest.

you back and feet were really killing you.

leo needed to meditate a bit after some patrol. he and raph had gotten into a heated 'discussion' while roaming across rooftops above ground, he didn't care for the arguments that sometimes ensued between the brothers.

your eyes flicker up at him and offer a closed-mouth smile, "you alright?"

leonardo gives you a silent nod, elbows on his knees after sitting on the navy blue comforter, once he hung up his katanas to the wall.

"what are you looking through?" he peeks over at your phone's screen. you're staring back at your phone, eyes glued to the device.

"oh, I dunno. just some pins I think are nice. you know, pictures for fashion ideas, decor, skateboarding, whatever I like on here."

"any ideas for hanging out with your favorite person?"

you grin at him, "I haven't thought about that yet."

"well I've got ideas on 'how to entertain your best friend.'"

"really, huh?"

"yeah, this for example." he snatches the phone from the grip of your hand, tossing it to the other end of the bed and out of your nearest reach, confusing you.

until you get the memo when he starts to attack your sides, throwing you into a frenzy of giggles.

"le- leo! stop, I'm not kiddi—OH MY GOD!"

he's got a pleased smile all over his face right now, grinning as his fingers moved against your ribs.

although he would have enjoyed much different scenarios of holding you by your waist, this was his favorite by far, even so that you're just platonic friends as of right now.

"ple- PLEASE let go! let me go!"

decided on teasing you further, he leaned down to the side of your face, just beside your ear, having you pinned down under him,

"what's the magic word, princess?"

you're distracted by his hands trailing up and jumping towards your neck, you're squirming at the fun yet painful sensation.

"I love you! let me go!"

the leader's hands stop at your request, so you think. but really, it was the confession that made him quit the playful act.

"alright. I'll be over there, in the Hashi, so."

you smiled at him, the corners your e/c eyes crinkled, "okay."

"okay."

wait a fucking minute--

Raphael

okay so,,

he really loves to tickle you.

like, he REALLY fucking loves to tickle you.

currently, you're trying your best to fall asleep and take a nap. It's been a rough, stressful day enough, and you needed to wind down for a good forty minutes.

"can't sleep?"

you shook your head from side-to-side, opening one eye to look over at raph.

"yeah, can't."

there's a small minute of pure silence, and to your frustration, raphael notices the sour expression crossing you.

and out of completely nowhere, you feel his touch on you.

you spend no time in jolting up from the couch, yelping immediately.

"raph! sto- sto- hAH! sto-OP I-IT!"

"you said you couldn't sleep. so I'm doin ya a favor."

this fucker is trying to make you tired.

"I didn't a-ask for a- ! RAPH!"

he's totally grinning down at you, with a playful glint in his eyes.

HE JUST WILL NOT STOP.

"what's the magic word, doll?"

"I luh- H AH! I LOVE yo-HU!"

he smiled in complete awe now, though, he kept on going. even if you just confessed your love to him, he had no mercy at all.

"oka- oka-HEY! I'M GONNA PISS MYSELF!"

after a good while after hearing that, he quickly pulls his hands away from you.

you catch your breath, panting to yourself.

"did I make ya tired now?"

"yeah, will that be the only time though?" you playfully wink.

Donatello

both of you are in his lab. you're totally bored.

although at times you were a science type of person, you could get bored very easily.

or distracted.

like now.

you get up from your seat behind donnie, touching some of the past projects he had previously worked on before.

"don't touch that please, hon."

you were bored. incredulously bored. But even though you listened to him and obeyed him as your dear, best friend,

you didn't give a fuck right now.

you're his friend. it was sort of your job to bug and joke around with him.

you continue touching some of his belongings, still trying to be careful with objects you knew could be potentially harmful to you and the others.

"I wonder what this thing doe--"

"I told you to stop touching things, y/n."

without warning, you felt the tips of his fingers rake across your sides at a fast pace. you wriggle in his grasp, leaning forward.

you roar into multiple fits of laughter, your face growing a hot, bright red.

"oh m- Donnie! Don- Donni-! I'll stop, I'll sto--! HAHA! PLEASE!"

he's amused now, seeing you this way. why hadn't he tickled you this much before?

"will you stop touching my things then? hm?"

"y-yES!"

"what's the magic word, y/n?"

"I don--! I dunno- HAH!"

"oh, yes you do."

"I lo-! I love you!? I'm so- soh- soRRY!"

he picks you up, setting you back down onto your seat.

the realization hit you. fast.

"you do, really?"

he has the biggest shit-eating, nerdy grin on his face right now.

Michelangelo

literal master of tickling.

seriously, he loves to do such tickle attacks on you when least expected.

but he never expected you to return them.

currently playing with a video game with his custom (cred to donnie) controllers, his tongue lazily stuck out, while his baby blue eyes glued to the screen, deep in focus.

"mikey? mikeyyyy!"

he doesn't respond, only acknowledging the game right now.

instead of his best friend.

you're about to leave when, suddenly, you get the greatest idea of all ideas.

no, you're not going to unplug the console.

quietly as you can be, you tip-toed behind him, his rough shell facing you.

you barely jump on him from behind, hands going to the crook of his neck, and your fingers start doing their thing.

he nearly throws the controller towards the wall, erupting into fits of giggles and laughter.

and without a second thought, mikey grabs you, switching to hover above you.

now it's his turn to tickle you.

so you're the new one dying of laughter.

"really, dudette? you thought you could outsmart me?!"

he loves seeing your smile while wiggling under his hold on you.

"mikEY! MICHAEL!"

hearing the use of the name "michael", he starts to tickle you even more.

"say the words!"

"n-! no-HOH!"

"sayy it!"

"I lov-! love you!"

"you love me? as a friend?"

he stopped tickling you instantly. and you sit up straight away.

you are as red as raph's own mask.

"uhm-"

"I love you too."

he's wiggling his "brows" at you, and you groan in annoyance.

you really did love this idiot.

[legendary-guest]

The fact that I had to discover this via good ol' Internet digging, and digging DEEP, is criminal. CRIMINAL! WOW! I love this, I ADORE IT! Their signatures! Their HANDWRITING! It really shocked me when I saw Dr. D's signature. His penmanship is so childish, I adore this aspect of characterisation for him. The only one amongst them who doesn't write in cursive. Just thinking about him writing a bunch of essays in college in that script. The 'r's that resemble 'v's, the capital 'D's, with that wobbly arc. Those 'k's, they're suffering! Letters floating, unaligned. UNHINGED? Childish, more likely, but man. He must have crazy carpal tunnel, I can't even imagine the pen grip that would produce handwriting like this in a middle-aged man. Combined with his manic energy, I bet you he flew through writing essays in college in spite of the lack of cursive. Shego must be shocked and appalled at his handwriting.

I've honestly toyed with the idea of writing a fic or something concerning this, especially since she has a qualification in Child Development (whatever that entails). Seeing his handwriting just gives her flashbacks to milestones young children should be achieving in some textbook or lecture. Doctors aren't known for their legible script, sure, but this is just ridiculous! She should have picked up that Egyptology elective back in college, maybe then she could figure out what these Hieroglyphics are saying! Especially when he starts getting really frantic, the letters just break apart and start floating all over the page! Shego's giant 'S', oh, I love. I usually dismiss handwriting in shows, since it has to be legible for the audience, but I'll make the exception here for Miss Go since it aligns so well with the signature.

The broken 'g' is very interesting, I don't think I've ever seen someone do that before. Is this just the lower-case 'g' made huge, not a true capital? It's so weird; someone on the team HAS to write like this. I bet you when Shego was a teacher, all the kids complained about her 'g's and she just told them to deal with it.

"Get your eyes checked! No, really, you're failing my class. I'm wondering if you can even see what's up on the chalkboard."

(For the record, Dr. D definitely complains about her 'g's. "Miss Yo? And she thinks I'm the one having a crisis." I'm not sure if he'd be one of those people who can't read cursive or not. I'll let others decide that.)

Love the near perfect 'o', too, the line through it from the tail of the 'g'.

It's the Drakgo CONTRAST for me, it really is.

I don't have nearly as much to say about Sir Montgomery Fiske and Duff Killigan.

MF presses down much more than everyone else, which is neat, I do like that. All so close together, squashed writing, written hurriedly. Capitals linking to the lower-case letters, unusual. Long tails (har har, MONKEY) and extended crossed 't's. The fact that it looks like he'd connect every single unique word together, no spaces. He signs with Monkey Fist here, I wonder if his hand-writing changed with the surgery (it seems like he can write perfectly fine, though!). Too much strength in that APE HAND, fingers too long.

Duff's is fun, love the slant and the separate line from the capital 'K'. Maybe I just haven't been around a lot, and I admit I stick around Drakgo circles predominantly, but I haven't seen people utilise the fact that he was a sports star/athlete. He definitely still has fans out and about that ask for his autograph every now and again; he might even be the villain with the most 'fans', all holdovers from the golfing days. Contrast Monkey Fist, who has become an academic quack. I might make a Duff Killigan post with some ideas. The 'g' becoming a 'j', 'i' morphing into an 'a' as it goes along. No crossing the 'f's, either! No dotting 'i's! Weird hybrid of print and cursive.

Thank you so much for this, OP!

Finished Translating (German->English) these canon signature cards of Drakken, Shego, Duff Killigan, and Monkey First from the Disney TV show, “Kim Possible” that came from the super-rare KP EU comic magazine “Micky Maus Sonderheft Nr. #02-2009″ that was published on March 26, 2009 in Germany.

[rebelwrites]

It’s Me Or Her? - Part One

Clay Spenser x Reader

A/N: I’ve had this idea buzzing around my head for a little bit but don’t worry there will be a part 2

Join The Group Chat Here - If You Want Tagging Manually Let Me Know 🖤

Clay Spenser Masterlist

This Months Writing

“Yo Y/L/N” Sonny grinned appearing in the doorway of your cage.

“What” you glared looking up from your phone, you knew what he was going to say.

“You haven’t told me if you are going to the bbq tomorrow” he smirked, leaning against the metal. “So you coming or what?”

“I don’t have a choice do I?” You asked.

“Nope I was just being polite asking, if I have to come to your house and kidnap you I will” he grinned.

“Will she be there?” You hissed.

“Well considering she is Clay’s girlfriend and it’s our before deployment bbq yes she will” Sonny nodded, he knew just how much you hated her, and he also knew that ever since she got with Clay you felt like you lost your best friend and also he knew about your feelings for him.

“Great” you said sarcastically, moving your gaze to the door as the rest of the team strolled in.

“Watch out lads, Princess is in a mood today” Sonny laughed quickly changing the subject.

“When isn’t she” Ray winked as he fist bumped you before going to his cage.

“You might be 2IC Perry but I will drop you like a lead balloon” you smiled innocently.

“What’s up?” Clay asked standing where Sonny was just moments ago.

“Nothing, I'm just peachy,” you said, rolling your eyes as you stood up. “Anyway, what do you care?”

“Because you’re my friend” he said with a sad smile on his face.

“Yeah friend” you scoffed barging past him and headed for the door.

“Oi moody where are you going” Jase shouted as you hand touched the handle.

“For a piss and a smoke” you snapped. “Don’t worry I will be back in time for training”

It took Bravo team a while to adjust to having a female on the team but they eventually came around so they all knew how to handle your moods but they were getting a bit concerned with the tension that was bubbling away under the surface between you and Clay. Jase sighed as he pulled Sonny to the side.

“I’m guessing it’s something to do with tomorrow” he whispered.

“Yeah, we are gonna have to keep an eye on her make sure she doesn’t flip out” Sonny whispered.

“Maybe her and Clay need to have it out before we leave, otherwise it’s gonna be a long 3 months” Jase sighed.

“Either way I have a feeling there’s gonna be a fight tomorrow” Sonny whispered. “It’s really starting to get to her now even though she tries not to show it is”

“I actually thought I was going to have to kidnap you” Sonny laughed as he pulled you into a hug.

“Yeah well I considered bailing but things could get interesting” you laughed grabbing a beer out of the cool box, as you brought the bottle to your lips Jase draped his arm over your shoulder.

“I hope you are gonna be on your best behaviour tonight” he smirked.

“I mean when do I ever behave Jase” you smirked looking up at him.

“Just don’t start any fights, okay” he whispered, kissing the top of your head.

“No promises” you shrugged, wiggling out of his grasp to go find Cerberus.

The moment you flopped onto the grass you saw Clay and Jenny walk into the garden, you didn’t realise you growled until Cerberus nuzzled his snout against your cheek.

“I know buddy” you whispered kissing his nose. You really didn’t see what Clay saw in her, she wasn’t the type of person to hang around with rowdy tier one operators, in fact she was the person to date one just so say she dated a Seal. I mean who wears six inch stilettos to a god damn bbq.

All you wanted to do was punch her in the face, but you knew everyone would be keeping tabs on you tonight so you decided to stay out the way, the way you were feeling right now it was the safe option.

Your peace didn’t last long as Sonny came over and literally flung you over his shoulder.

“I swear to god I will stab you asshole” you growled as he carried you through the garden.

“Stop being an unsociable demon then” he laughed dropping your on your ass in the middle of the group.

“You better sleep with one eye open in J-Bad” you growled looking up at him “I’m coming for you Sonny Quinn”

“Give it your best shot Princess” he winked before going back to the grill.

Sighing in defeat you pulled your phone out , connecting it to Blackburn’s outdoor surround system, scrolling through your playlist you were looking for one song, a song that you knew would cause shit but you needed a good fight. Standing to your feet you went to join Jase, Ray and Sonny around the grill whilst pressing play on the song.

Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your girlfriend (That's right) No way, no way, I think you need a new one. Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your girlfriend. Hey, hey, you, you, I know that you like me. No way, no way, you know it's not a secret. Hey, hey, you, you, I want to be your girlfriend

“Please tell me you didn’t just put this song on” Jase sighed as he realised the song you put on that was now blasting out loud.

“Don’t know what you are on about” you shrugged “I just put my playlist on shuffle”

“Give me strength” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Dude it’s just a song chill out” you laughed.

“Yes but it’s the meaning behind the song and you know it” Ray sighed.

You're so fine, I want you mine, you're so delicious. I think about you all the time, you're so addictive. Don't you know what I can do to make you feel alright? (Alright, alright, alright, alright)

“Look I’m not going to do anything so chill out” you nodded looking around the garden, making eye contact with Clay. You always had flirty banter with him until he got with Jenny, she instantly took a disliking to you, didn’t like how close you were with Clay. Your eyes were still locked as you sang along with the song. “Don't pretend, I think you know I'm damn precious. And hell yeah, I'm the motherfucking princess. I can tell you like me too and you know I'm right”

In a way this was your way of admitting your true feelings to him, it was ironic that you wasn’t afraid of being the first person through the door but when it came to your feelings that scared the fuck out of you.

She's like so whatever. You could do so much better. I think we should get together now. And that's what everyone's talking about. Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your girlfriend. No way, no way, I think you need a new one. Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your girlfriend. Hey, hey, you, you, I know that you like me. No way, no way, you know it's not a secret. Hey, hey, you, you, I want to be your girlfriend

“Whatever happens you have my six right?” You asked looking up at the boys.

“You know we always do” Ray said, squeezing your shoulder. “Just don’t do anything stupid”

“Come on this is me we are on about Ray” you laughed sipping your beer, watching how Jenny realised you and Clay were still holding eye contact across the garden and you could literally see steam coming out of her ears. “But if she wants to start fucking let her”

“That’s what I’m worried about” he sighed “we don’t need you banged up for this deployment”

“When do I ever lose a fight” you winked before going to mingle with the rest of the team.

The boys couldn’t take their eyes off Clay and Jenny, just waiting for the moment it popped off so they could intervene.

“Deployment is going to be fun” Sonny said with sarcasm laced in his voice.

In a second, you'll be wrapped around my finger. 'Cause I can, 'cause I can do it better. There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in? She's so stupid, what the hell were you thinking? In a second, you'll be wrapped around my finger. 'Cause I can, 'cause I can do it better. There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in? She's so stupid, what the hell were you thinking?

Before you knew it you felt someone pulling your hair making you scream at the sudden contact. That was it, you saw red, you ignored the pain from Jenny’s grip on your hair as you managed to get out of her hold, without even thinking your fist connected with her face, so hard you felt it crack making your smirk.

“Don’t ever try to sneak attack a Seal bitch” you spat as she clutched her nose.

“Y/N what the fuck” Clay snapped rushing to Jenny’s aid, “you fucking broke her nose”

“Oh did I?” You shrugged, rolling your eyes.

“The fuck has gotten into you recently, this isn’t you” Clay shouted as Trent took Jenny to go see to her nose.

“Oh that’s fucking rich coming from you” you growled, squaring you with Clay with your fists balled at your side.

“I don’t know what youre talking about” Clay growled back, your bodies pressed together.

“Well how about ever since you got with her , you never hang with the team anymore, you bail on us all the goddamn time. Or how about when I needed my best friend because I was having a hard time with some news I got but you blew me off because you had plans with her” you screamed as the hot tears ran down your cheeks. “Or when the weight of the last fucking op was near enough crushing me to the point I nearly left the fucking team, you didn’t even notice because you are never around. So much for being my best friend and having my six”

“Come one Y/L/N” Jase said in your ear as he wrapped his arms around your waist pulling you away from Clay.

“I didn’t know” Clay said, softening his tone.

“Like I said it’s because you are never around” you screamed as you thrashed in Jason’s grip. As Jenny appeared next to Clay, wrapping her hand around his arm. “You know I was moments away from spilling my heart out to you last deployment but stopped myself because you’d never feel anything for your best friend despite the years of flirting”

“Baby she’s just jealous” Jenny whined.

“Bitch I can show you jealous if you want” you growled as Jase picked you up taking you further away from the situation.

“Walk it off” he snapped as he put you on the ground.

“Why should I?” You snapped.

“Just fucking walk it off Y/N” Jase snapped before dropping his tone. “Please just go calm down”

“Fine” you huffed grabbing the bottle of whiskey off the side when he let you go.

As you were taking yourself for a walk to try and calm down you heard Jenny ask Clay a question that you weren't sure if you wanted to know the answer to so you started sprinting to get as far away from them as possible.

“You gotta choose Clay, it’s me or her?”

@chibsytelford @mrsmarvelous1995 @supervalcsi @talicat713 @disasterfandoms @bravo-four-seal-team @jasonbabymama @jayhalsteadfan-2417 @lotsoflovefromlea @seik-o @ohitsnicolexo @velvetcardiganbucky @phoenixhalliwell @pancakeisreading @itsonautopilot @pinkrockstar19 @galaxysanduniversesinmymind @softi92 @abby-splace

[harcourtholmesii]

An Officer’s Loyalty (Part 4)

Pairings: Medic X Reader

Words: 2098

Warnings:

- Swearing

- Blood and Gore

- Violence

- Plotting To Murder and Attempted Murder

- Drugging

Enjoy!

It was a slow awakening.

 Your eyelids felt heavy as they opened; your brain slowly coming to comprehend that your surroundings did not match where you had been before passing out. You were treated to viewing a great expanse of grey cement and a single light that dangled in place of where the medigun should have been.

 You sat up, your movements languid and as if weighed down by iron, and peered about your new locale.

 It seemed not unlike the private quarters you had at BLU base; a small bed upon which you laid, a wooden cabinet and desk, and a singular, thin window just below the roof line. There was no sunshine from outside, but you could see the evening sky. A splash of pinks, peach and gold that cracked across the desert horizon, dotted with the faintest starlight.

 You pulled yourself up and sat on the side of the bed, allowing yourself a moment to breathe. It felt as if your lungs were compressed by something; as if your chest was filled with a large stone. You sucked in air, and felt a pain rip across your chest, as if you were close to bursting.

 You looked down at your clothes, noting that though they hung from your shoulders, they were split open down the middle, revealing a heavy blanket of bandages from navel to your pectorals. A singular, large Y was stained into the white wrappings as blood seeped through it all. You didn’t understand at first, but you felt the colour drain from your face.

 You lurched up and away from the bed; on your feet you felt a great swirl of motion through your skull. You couldn’t see. You whirled and whipped your head about, hoping to regain your composure and unable to see past the blur of colours. You couldn’t see the bedroom anymore, but you could see your nearest way out. With difficulty, you stepped forth and found your whole body tilting.

 You ran to keep up with it and felt your head and shoulders barrel into the wood of a door, splinters flying as you just caved it in. You didn’t even notice the damage, just trying to calculate your next step. Where to go? Where to run?

 It seemed your ruckus had caught the attention of another.

 You heard fast feet, and through the haze, you could see a figure in RED colours rounding the corner at the far end of what you presumed was a corridor. You held your hands up, clenching them into fists as you prepared for a one-sided fight. You had no doubt in your condition you would hardly be a challenge.

 They approached just as quickly, and in your rush of adrenaline, you struck out. You hit nothing but air as the figure leapt back and out of reach. You struck out again, and felt a wrapped hand grab your fist. You didn’t let it stop you.

 Your blind eyes searched through the haze, attempting to recognise who it was that had found you. How low did you have to punch?

 ‘Yo, cool it!’ Then there was a shriek, high-pitched and then a low, pained whine. You had guessed right. The grip on your fist weakened and you could see how the figure hunched over where they stood. You ripped your hand away from theirs and lashed out again, tackling the other to the floor. Through the haze, you had started making out details again.

 You could see the young face, the grey eyes that had started tearing up and the quivering lip as the RED Scout held back another whine. His voice was strained as he spoke.

 ‘Really, man? Right in the goodies?’

 You didn’t care. You had been through enough you were sure.

 Your head was still fuzzy, but there was no way you were in the company of good people. You snarled down at the Scout, raising your hands to his throat and beginning to press down. He started coughing, hacking, both hands grasping for your own.

 ‘H-Hey! S-Sto-… -Op!’ You didn’t. Like Hell were you going to let him go and get his team. You might have stood a chance against the Scout but if anyone else found you, the thought made your blood run cold.

 ‘D-Doc’s comin’! J-Just… L-Let me go, ma-… man!’ Images flashed behind your eye lids of that manic grin and the bloodied hands. Suddenly, you could recall the horrid sight of his hands delicately scooping out your heart, still beating and wet. You started coughing, and felt your already empty stomach attempting to empty itself further. Your hands loosened and you let your thumbs slip free of the boy’s Adam’s apple. He scrambled out from under you, coughing and sputtering as he attempted to regain his breath.

 Beneath you, you could feel saliva leave your lips but nothing else came as your body dry heaved. Your chest was ablaze with a pain, and you could still feel the traces of a saw cutting through your flesh. It’s filed teeth ripping apart sinew to get at your precious organs.

 You felt a hand on your shoulder as you started to wind down. You vision was blurring again when you next heard Scout speak.

 ‘Dude, you’re bleedin’.’ It was true. You could feel a warm damp behind the bandages and above your skin, and you could see fine traces of crimson slipping between the cracks and falling to the floor below you. ‘I’ll be right back, I’m gonna get Doc.’ You almost reached out for him to stop him. Instead, you felt your stomach heave again.

 You don’t know for how long you had been there, but you had heard both the sounds of a retreating pair of light feet, and then heavier boots accompanying them on their way back. It couldn’t have been long, and as you heard the steps of two people, you started attempting to crawl on your hands and knees. You needed to get away.

 ‘Jus’ here.’

 Crap!

 You felt a larger figure then Scout’s lean beside you, and felt an ungloved hand turn your head around. You were looking back into those gleaming blue eyes, the expression in that face a certain kind of serious you were only used to seeing in your own Medic. You felt your blood boil now.

 Despite the drain of your strength, you reached out and took a hold of his tie. The man was pulled off his feet and down to the floor with you, until the two of you were nearly nose-to-nose. You thought about tightening the cloth of his red tie until he couldn’t breathe, or just plain attempting to beat him to death with his own boots. But you felt your arm shaking.

 Your attack on Scout had left you exhausted and your body trembling from exertion. You held him there, growling in an attempt to hold back your own, pained noises. You had expected the surprise when you had grabbed him, and perhaps a hint of either fear or anger when you were plotting to kill him.

 You were not expecting a smile.

 ‘Wunderbar!’ You felt your snarl fall, and your hand loosen around his tie. You glanced up at Scout, who had grabbed out his bat but was now just looking between the two of you in a similar confusion to what you felt. He was staring at Medic like the man had grown a third head.

 ‘W-What?’

 ‘Vonderful! Jou are doing far better zhan I zhought jou vould!’ He stood beside you, smoothing down the rumpled wool of his vest and then he stooped to help you to your feet. You didn’t know what was going on, but what you did know was that he wasn’t attacking you.

 You took his hand nervously, and allowed him to help you stand. Scout came to your other side until both of your arms had been hooked behind their necks and across their shoulders. Between the three of you, it was a strange appearance at how lop-sided you were supported.

 Medic led the way back into the bedroom, and the two of them helped you to sit down until you were comfortably laying back on the bed. Your breath was laboured, and the pain had refused to cease. You clutched at the wrappings across your chest, choking back another pained cry.

 ‘Bitte, jou are doing very vell.’ Medic sat on the bed beside you, looking you over and testing points across your sides and upper body. You felt like your lungs could collapse at any moment.

 ‘Doc, what the Hell is wrong with ‘em? Your medigun broke, or somethin’?’

 ‘Nein.’ The Medic seemed almost offended by such a statement, resting a hand over your chest just to feel how you breathed. You didn’t understand how that was supposed to work without a stethoscope, but you decided against questioning the madman.

 ‘Then, why they bleedin’ out? You sealed the rest of us up fine.’ Satisfied with your breathing and how your chest rose and fell, Medic pulled out a syringe from his pocket. It was filled with some kind of clear liquid, of which he squirted some out first before he started to rest the fine tip against the crook of your elbow. When you attempted to pull away from it, he just rested a hand on your arm and carefully entered the needle through your skin. You hissed.

 ‘Das is because jou all had cavities just large enough for zhe heart replacement. Our new Offizier needs time to adjust, so I added stitches. Body just needs to stretch a little.’ You were pretty sure that wasn’t how shit worked. Perhaps whatever had replaced your heart was making it hard to breathe.

 ‘W-What did… did you put in m-me?’

 ‘Oh, vell, nozhing too big.’ He didn’t look at you. You turned your pained glare up at Scout who just turned away. He started whistling, shifting from foot to foot to distract himself from your questioning. He caved, and turned his head back only after a few seconds.

 ‘Mega baboon heart.’

 Oh.

 Of course.

 That made perfect sense. Who wouldn’t replace their own heart with one from a dangerous monkey from halfway across the world? It must have cost a fortune but it made for a perfectly sensible procedure.

 NOT.

 ‘Pardon?’

 Scout stepped away from you, whilst Medic’s smile continued to grow.

 ‘It is all standard procedure. Remember, jou did agree to zhis.’

 ‘I agreed to a heart transplant under the assumption I would be getting a human heart!’ Medic reeled back a little, seemingly confused by your outburst. You sneered at him, attempting to turn over in bed, but you could feel your internal organs rock within you as you moved, and your eyelids grow heavy once more. You glared down at the now empty needle in your arm, ripping it out and throwing it across the room at the doctor.

 ‘What did you just give me?’

 ‘A small sedative.’ There was a nudge from Scout, almost a shove against the doctor’s side. Medic turned an annoyed glare down at him, but Scout just rolled his head back towards you. ‘Okay. Fine. It is a tranquilizer. All zhe same, somezhing to put jou to sleep for a little vhile. At least, until jour body has recovered.’

 What the Hell was wrong with this team?

 You blinked, your loud and angered thoughts beginning to fade to a muted throb at the back of your mind. You slumped against the bed as Medic came over to roll you onto your back once more. You peered up at him, drowsily reaching up with one hand to grab him by his tie again and pull him down to your level. With your strength drained, you almost didn’t realize he lowered himself down to you instead of you exerting your strength and pulling him down.

 His smile had returned.

 ‘Jou’re going to be brilliant for RED team.’

 ‘Don’t insult me.’ Perhaps it was the way you said it or just because of how demeaning it might have sounded, but you were surprised to hear the sound of laughter. It wasn’t cruel and it wasn’t manic. You observed how his smile created the slightest dimples in his cheeks, how his eyes creased at the outer corners and how his laugh was something genuine and warm.

 You felt your chest tighten around the baboon heart, and felt a flush through your body as your skin heated in your cheeks. Blood swelled at the incision lines, as you drifted off once more. You couldn’t tell if the heat in your face was from embarrassment or anger.

 Or something far worse.

 …

 Shit.

[clonewarslover55]

Wanted to start off by telling you how much I absolutley love your writing!!! Could I possibly request a fluff+smut fic of Wrecker x Fem!reader and they both suck at telling the other how they feel and are both oblivious to the other but the rest of the 99 boys know and try to help push them along?? I'm so sorry if that's too much!

Ahh thank you so much!! I’m so glad you enjoy my writing!!! Wrecker needs more love! 

Wrecker X Fem!Reader 

Notes: I didn’t really get into the smut part, it’s only mentioned sorry. I didn’t want this to get too long. If you want the full smut just ask! I won’t mind doing a part two.

Warnings: language, mentions of alcohol, mentions of intoxication, mentions of smut 

You were an engineer who worked with special ops often. You were the one that always fixed up their ships and the ships that they stole. You loved working with all of the clones in the special ops groups, they were all so nice. Plus, they were always very entertaining. 

Your favorite group was the Bad Batch, also known as Clone Force 99. Today you were making some simple repairs to their ship, while Wrecker talked to you. You and Wrecker had feelings for one another, but neither of you were good at expressing your feelings. 

The others watched from a distance, “They need to express their feelings for one another.” Tech said as he glanced at his brothers. Hunter nodded as Crosshair chewed on his toothpick, deep in thought. “They need to fuck.” Crosshair spoke, causing Hunter to grin and Tech to sigh.

Hunter hooked his thumbs into his belt, “We should help them express their feelings!” Crosshair raised an eyebrow, “And just how are we going to do that?” Hunter shrugged and Tech tapped his chin thinking. “We could set up a romantic dinner for them.” Tech offered, “Or we could lock them in a closet.” Hunter punched Crosshair’s arm and Crosshair shrugged. 

“What the hell is the matter with you?” Crosshair scoffed, “Closet sex is amazing!” Hunter and Tech both gave him bemused looks. “They don’t HAVE to fuck.” Tech glared at Crosshair. Hunter made a so-so motion with his hand, “You can cut the sexual tension with a knife though.” Crosshair nodded and Tech rolled his eyes.

The three got into a heated discussion, causing Wrecker and yourself to look at them. “What are they arguing about now?” Wrecker shrugged and grinned at you, “Who knows.” You smiled and crawled out from underneath the ship, standing up with a dramatic stretch. 

You wiped off your hands and smiled, “Why don’t you go calm down your brothers.” You chuckled, “Oh! And invite them over to my place tonight, just to see if they want to watch that new holomovie with us.” Wrecker grinned and nodded, “Yeah! I’ll see you later tonight!” Wrecker waved as he walked towards his brothers.

As you were leaving the hanger you saw Hunter, Tech, and Crosshair shushing each other as Wrecker approached. Once he got to them you saw Crosshair yank some of Hunters hair. You laughed and left, not wanting to see the fight. 

Wrecker smirked at his brothers, “What were you guys arguing about.” Hunter glared hard at Crosshair, “We were talking about Crosshair’s date tonight! And how he should be nice to them, and not a dick.” Crosshair sneered at Hunter, mostly because he didn’t have a date tonight, “I am not a dick.” Tech snorted and gave Wrecker a funny look. 

Hunter looked at Wrecker, “So you have plans with her tonight?” Wrecker nodded at his brother, “Yeah!! She wanted me to invite you all over too!” Hunter and Tech nodded, trying to come up with lies to tell their brother. They wanted him to have alone time with you, so they were going to try to get out of it.

Tech patted Wrecker’s shoulder, “I have research to do. Tell her I’m sorry I can’t make it.” Tech frowned and quickly walked away with Crosshair. Hunter grinned at Wrecker, “Sadly I have to be Crosshair’s wingman.” Wrecker laughed as Crosshair flipped off Hunter, a sneer on his thin face. “Have fun though Wreck!” Hunter walked away, quickly catching up with the other two. 

Wrecker laughed, he didn’t exactly know if they were lying but he didn’t care. He was just excited to spend time alone with you later. He smiled to himself as he walked out. 

*Later that night. Coruscant, your apartment* 

Wrecker sat on your couch, waiting for you to finish making the popcorn. “Seriously Wrecker! I’m telling you stove top made popcorn is far better than microwave popcorn!” Wrecker laughed as you walked into the living room, a giant bowl in your hands. “I’m telling the truth!” You grinned as you sat the bowl in his lap. 

He gave you an unsure look as you plopped down beside him. “What do you think it’s poison or something?” You laughed as you grabbed a handful of popcorn. Wrecker laughed and popped a few pieces into his mouth, “Wow! That is a lot better!!” You grinned like a fool, “See!! I told you!” Wrecker laughed and playfully shoved you. 

You turned on the holomovie, “I heard this was pretty good! So hopefully my friend didn’t lie to me.” Wrecker chuckled, “I bet the movie is terrible.” You sighed dramatically and leaned against his shoulder, “Probably.” 

About thirty minutes into the movie you got up to get some wine. The movie was terrible, but you were having fun making fun of it with Wrecker. His laugh was very contagious so suffering through a terrible movie was totally worth it. 

A little later into the movie you were pretty tipsy from drinking a little bit of wine. You were nearly in Wrecker’s lap now, since the bowl of popcorn was now empty and sitting on the coffee table. You groaned dramatically, because the movie was now becoming quite boring. 

You flopped across Wrecker’s lap, “This movie sucks.” He petted your hair looking down at you, “Yeah.” He chuckled. You sat up and straddled Wrecker, “How about we do something more entertaining?” Wrecker smirked. 

He gripped your hips as you passionately kissed him. His lips were warm and rough, but his taste was addictive. You smirked against his lips, knowing the night would get far more entertaining soon. 

Part two

[eddieismypimp]

Shouldn’t have done that.

Oscar x plus size black reader (gotta show love to my QUEENS)

Summary: Oscar and "Y/N" have been fighting all day, it gets a little out of hand and he buys you a puppy to make up for it.

Warnings: I NEVER KNOW HOW TO END THESE SHITS SO THE ENDINGS ARE ALWAYS STUPID. Cussing, little bit of violence, yelling, arm grabbing, if that freaks you out please please don't read this. Also, I hate writing shit about fighting because I come from trauma and I always take it to far because thats what I'm used to so I'm sorry lol <3

A/N PLEASE PLEASE READ: I DO NOT support any type of abuse IN THE SLIGHTEST BIT even arm grabbing but I put it in this story and I'm so sorry if any of you who reads this is going through abuse or anything like that. With everyone being quarantined and kids being at home with their parents, there's a possibility that they are in actual danger and it terrifies me and hurts my heart to even think about that. Please dont be afraid to ask someone for help if you're in that situation. You can text me anytime if you need a friend and we can just talk. I pray for the babies who are in bad situations right now. I love you all.

                                      Y/N POV

"Just drop it y/n." Oscar said sitting at the kitchen table sipping his coffee. "What I decide for Cesar isn't your concern."  Wow.... that shit HURTED. ''I know I haven't been around since the very beginning but that doesn't mean that I don't care about you and Cesar." I said. "That doesn't change the fact that you weren't the one that raised him since he was a little child." He said standing up and walking to the kithcen. I followed him, not ready to finish this conversation yet. He wasn't gonna win this time. He needed to see my point.  "I had to give up EVERYTHING to make sure there was food on the table and he was taken care of." He said getting a little loud. "Baby, theres no need to get loud." I said. "I know you have given up a lot for Cesar and I think you're amazing for it.... but do you really think Cesar wants this life?" I asked. He didn't say anything. "I know you just want him to be protected but is this really the best way to go about it? Is there really no other way you can protect him without getting him involved in this shit?" I asked again. "It's not to late.. for either of you. I know you think it's to late for you but you can still get out baby you ca-." I was cut off by Oscar slamming his cup on the counter. I flinched and gasped. He turned around getting in your face. "Don't speak on shit you know nothing about." He said it calmly but I could practically see the steam coming out of his ears. With that he walked away and I stood there dumbfounded.

                            -time skip-

It's been about an hour since Oscar and I had that argument and I've been sitting in the living room watching Coco. That movie always makes me feel so much better. Miguel is the cutest! I was  singing along to Un Poco Loco when I seen Oscar walking towards the door. "Where you goin?" I asked him worried. He looked at me. "Cesar needs me." "I'm coming with you." I said getting up and turning off the t.v. I slid my Nike slides on and walked out behind him getting into the car.

                            -another time skip-

"Why is Cesar in Brentwood?" I asked looking at Oscar. "Him and his friends were trick or treating." He said not taking his eyes off the road. "Oh." Was all I said as I looked out the window. We finally pulled up to this house party and I seen Cesar standing in front of this white boy. We got out the car. "Oh so you think you're hard?" I heard the kid say. The fuck is goin on? He better not be comin at my little baby crazy! I thought to myself. "No... but he is." Cesar said pointing at Oscar. Oscar walked up on the boy with me right behind him. Ope- this kids in for it now. The kid looked at me. Oh Christ. I internally rolled my eyes. "Well.. look at you. Aren't you beautiful." He said which disgusted me to my SOUL. I had an idea though. I faked a smile and pushed past Oscar. "Thank you." I said caressing his face. "You're not to bad yourself." Which was an absolute lie. The kid looked ROUGH. He also had a fake tear drop tattoo and it was very obvious he was trying to look like a cholo. I was gonna end it there knowing Oscar was already jealous as shit and we would have some bomb ass makeup sex later but when I turned around, I felt a hard slap on my ass. "Yo what the fuck!?" I said turning around and slapping the kid in the face. Before anyone could say or do anything else, Oscar gently pushed me outta the way and grabbed the kid by his shirt. "Aye, don't touch my girl homie!" Oscar got all up in his face. "I'm sorry man, she came onto me." The kid said clearly terrified.  Oscar saw the fake tear drop and got noticeably more angry. If that was even possible. He licked his thumb and wiped it off the kids face. Then wiped his own tattoo, which didn't come off. "This shits real." He said. "Please, what do you want?" The kid asked with tears in his eyes. I laughed a little to myself. Who's tough now, pussy? Oscar let go of his shirt and tilted his head at Cesar telling him to come over. As Cesar was telling the kid what he wanted, Oscar turned towards me grabbing my arm and leading me to the car. I got in and he did too shortly after. We waited in silence for Cesar. Him and Monse walked up to the car and I got out to let them in. Once they were in you sat back down. "How is everyone else getting home?" I asked looking at Cesar. I can't help it, I worry about everything. "Ruby's abuelita is taking them." He said. "Oh okay." I said facing the front less worried. Oscar started driving as we all sat in silence. It got a little to quiet so I grabbed the aux cord and started playing my favorite song. I knew Cesar and Monse liked the song to because they were in the back straight vibin. I was playing the song get back by pop smoke. (r.i.p papi) That song was a straight bop. Oscar showed no emotion though. He just sat there in silence. focusing on the road. I gave a slight frown thinking my plan didn't work but put my focus back on the song.

                               -time skip-

It was like that the rest of the car ride. Me playing bomb ass music while me, cesar and monse jammed out and oscar just sitting there with literally no emotion. We finally got to Monse's house and I let her and Cesar out. Cesar was gonna stay at her place tonight since her dad was out of town. Which actually worked out perfectly, now me and Oscar will have the whole house to ourselves. I internally smirked thinking about what could go down tonight. I was excited. We finally pulled into the driveway of our house. Oscar got out without saying anything and went straight to the door to unlock it. What the fuck? I thought. I got out and walked in the house. "Oscar, what's the matter?" I asked wrapping my arms around him from behind. "You haven't said anything since we left Brentwood." "What the fuck is wrong with you?" He asked coldly. That threw me off and I backed up a little as he turned around to look at me. "What?" I asked genuinely confused. "You think you can just pull that shit and I won't get pissed?" He asked. I started giggling realizing that my plan did work. "So you think the shit is funny now?" He raised his voice stepping all up on me. My smile left my face quick as shit. "Wh- no.. I-" I was cut off by Oscar grabbing my arms pretty harshly. I gasped. "Why you out here actin like a whore?" He asked, his voice still raised like I wasn't right in front of him. "Oscar, you're hurting me." I said. I was kinda shook right now because I didn't think he would get mad enough to actually hurt me. "I don't give a fuck." He said tightening his grip. I had tears in my eyes now, this is starting to scare me a little. "You're supposed to be my girl... not touchin up on some fools right in front of me." He said, still not letting go. "Oscar, I only did that to get your attention. I didn't think you'd for real get mad." I said struggling to get my arms out of his grip. His eyes softened a little and he finally let go. I rubbed my wrists backing up. "Mama... I'm so sorry..." He said trying to pull me into a hug but I backed away. I looked at him for a moment before turning around and walking to our shared bedroom locking the door and falling on the bed crying. A few moments later I heard the front door close and the car start.

                              Oscars POV

Why did I let it get to me like that..? I love y/n with my whole heart. Why would I ever hurt her? "What the fuck do I do?" I asked myself. I parked my car in a park so I can think of ways to make it up to my little baby. "Okay Oscar.. think... Something that will make her happy..." I finally got it. A fucking puppy. She's been asking me for one for like two months now. I only knew one pet shop that was open this late so I started my car and drove there.

                               -time skip-

I got there and I looked for about 20 mintues before I found the perfect one.I picked him up and brought him to the worker. "This is the one I want." I said. "Okay," She said taking him from me. "I'm gonna have you pick out a collar, a leash, dog food, and food bowls for him." The lady said. I nodded my head going to pick the shit out. I got all the stuff and went to the counter. She rang up all my shit and then gave me some papers to sign. "What do you want to name him?" She asked me. I had to think for a minute. What's a name y/n would pick...? Oh wait.. I can name him Miguel. Her little ass loves Coco and thats her favorite character. I told the lady what I wanted to name him and she wrote it down somewhere on the paper I just filled out. She bagged up my stuff and handed me Miguel. "Have a nice night!" She said smiling. "Thank you, you too." I took all my stuff and walked out to my car.

She's gonna love him. I thought. I put all the stuff in the backseat and got him settled in the front seat. I took a picture of him for memories. Then I started driving home.

                             -time skip-

                        Still Oscar's POV

I finally got home. I stayed in the car for a minute trying to figure out the right words to say. I hope I can fix this. I love her so much. I took a deep breath and got out of the car. I grabbed the bags from the back seat and then grabbed the puppy. I opened the front door as quietly as I possibly could. The lights in the living room and kitchen were on and so was the t.v. Of course she's watching Coco. I didn't see her on the couch tho. Shes probably in the kitchen. I sneakily walked over to the couch and sat everything down including the puppy. I walked toward the kitchen to see if she was in there but she wasn't there either. Right when I was about to walk to our bedroom, she walked out of the bathom and we almost bumped into each other. She didn't say anything, and she tried to walk past me. "Wait, baby.." I said.

                             Y/n POV

I tried to walk past Oscar but he wouldn't let me. "Wait, baby.." He pleaded. "Please just listen." I sighed but decided to listen to what he had to say. "Okay Oscar." I said quietly. He let out a sigh of relief. "Baby, I am sorry." He said taking a step closer to me. I took a step back. Not because I was scared but because it was my natural instinct. He had a pained expression but he continued. "I love you and I don't know why I acted like that." I just sood there. "I would never hurt, and I'm sorry.. I took it way to far. It'll never happen again." I was staring at my feet but I could feel his eyes on me. "Please mami. Please forgive me." He pleaded. I couldn't stay mad at him for long. "Okay, Oscar. I forgive you." I said. "Oh thank God." He said pulling me into a hug. "I love you so much." He said kissing me all over my face. I giggled. "I love you too papi." I said smiling at him. "Come here boo, I got something for you." He said grabbing my hands and leading me into the living room. I was mad confused until I saw the most beautiful puppy I have ever seen. I gasped SO loud. "Oh my goooooood.... Oscar, is he mine?" I asked looking at Oscar. "Yes ma'am, all for you." He said smiling at me. I smiled back at him as I went to go pick up the puppy. "Awwwww,babe. I love him." I said cuddling the puppy. "Whats his name?" "I named him Miguel." He said proudly. I melted. "I love it boo. He's perfect." I started to tear up. "Aw baby, don't cry." Oscar said hugging me. Everything was quiet for a while until I heard Oscar sniffling. I looked up at him and he had tears in his eyes. "Babe.. what's wrong?" I asked worried. "I'm so sorry, I never wanted to hurt you like that ever. I know buying presents isn't gonna make up for it, but I just want you to know i'll never hurt you again." He said kissing my forehead. "You don't have to cry baby. We both did stuff we regret tonight. But it's okay, we can talk it out and work this out and become better than ever." I said, planting kisses all over his sweet little face. "This is why I love you." He said. The rest of the night, me, oscar and our new puppy cuddled and watched Coco.

[yikesharringrove]

okay but femme steve au thing where billy and steve still have the casual fuck buddy thing/borderline love eachother but are too nervous to say anything thing while in hawkins but billy usually comes around night yeah?? well what if when during the day , steve is all dressed up with a full face of makeup and a silk dress that his mom owns because it just feels so good so right for him. but billy sorta shows up like mid-day for once and is speechless bcs his pretty boy is real pretty? just a idea

Billy never comes over before the sun goes down.

Steve doesn’t know if it’s easier to sneak out of his house that way, or if he doesn’t want to be seen sneaking into the Harrington’s back yard. But either way, Steve thinks the earliest Billy has ever been to his house is maybe midnight.

It makes it easier for Steve, though. He never has to worry about being in a compromising position when Billy comes in, will have showered his makeup off and hung up his dress long before Billy comes sneaking in through the sliding door in the kitchen.

He doesn’t really know what he and Billy are doing, just knows that one night they were hanging out at the quarry, drinking a few beers in Steve’s beamer, the next Steve was sitting on Billy’s cock, fucking himself into next week.

It’s been close to three months of Billy showing up in the dark, pounding into Steve for awhile, and going on his merry way. Steve guessed that’s all he was going to get, light conversations at school, and rough fucking at night. And he was fine with that, really he was, because he figured if he asked Billy for more, he wouldn’t get anything.

But tonight was an anomaly.

Billy had had a shitty fucking day. He just wanted to see Steve, see those soft eyes and the way he would smile at Billy, all fucked-out and sweet. He was gone for the guy, but was too scared to do anything about it, to do anything but fuck and run.

But Billy’s dad had been in a mood, and was angry at Billy for really no reason, so Billy had gone on a drive, and ended up at Steve’s place maybe six hours before he would usually show up.

He came in through the back gate, and went to push the sliding glass door open in the kitchen, but his hands faltered, peering in at the person inside.

Billy’s mind shorted out, thinking the one day he came early, Steve’s mom was home. She was swaying gently in the kitchen, dancing around to the music Billy could almost hear.

Her hair was short, but pinned up with expensive looking clips, the large diamonds matching the bracelets, the beautiful rings Billy could see. She was obviously tall, made even longer by her heels, probably five inches. But then she turned around, making eye contact with Billy, who stared, sliding open the door.

“Steve?” Steve was standing completely still, like maybe Billy wouldn’t notice him. He was wearing a silk dress. It looked tasteful, but was short on his long legs. He was draped in necklaces and other jewelry. His eye shadow was a deep shimmery green, making his eyes look like honey.

Billy reached out, brushing his fingers against the fine material of the long sleeve. He hadn’t even realized he had stepped forward.

Steve squeezed his eyes shut, gripped tight onto the counter behind him.

Billy realized with fucking horror he was braced for a hit.

Billy reached up, tracing Steve’s lips, painted a deep purplish red.

“So beautiful.”

Steve’s eyes flew ope, looking down at Billy.

“You look beautiful. I just, I’m speechless.” Steve made a choked sound.

“You’re, you’re not disgusted?” Billy shook his head, hands now coming to rest at Steve’s hips.

“No. I’m a little disgusted at my own thoughts right now.”

“What, what do you mean?” Billy leaned up, pressing a kiss to Steve’s collar bone, about the highest point his lips could reach.

“About how gorgeous you look. How I wanna bend you right over the counter and fuck you just like this.” He let one hand trail under the skirt of the dress, feeling up Steve’s smooth thigh, digging into the soft flesh when he could feel the edge of lace panties.

“You, um, you don’t, like mind?”

“Only thing I mind right now is that we’re still standing here.” Steve smiled weakly, but his eyes were still panicked. Billy took his face in both hands.

“Sweet Thing, relax. I won’t tell anyone. And I don’t mind you like wearing women’s things. You look so pretty I don’t give a fuck.” Steve let out a shaky breath.

‘I just, this isn’t, it’s not. I just feel better like this. I don’t, I feel like, good in my body when I’m wearing this stuff.” Billy nodded, planting another kiss to Steve’s collarbone. “Confident. Comfortable.”

“That’s okay, Baby. I like seeing you like this, you look sexy as hell.” Steve smiled sheepishly.

“But it’s, it’s more than being like, sexy. I just, I feel good.”

“That’s what makes you so sexy right now. You feel confident, I can tell. Just like, just watching you move before you saw me, you’re so beautiful.”

Steve’s face was bright red underneath his makeup. He took Billy’s hand, leading him up the stairs to his bedroom. Billy followed quietly, staring at the way Steve’s hips swayed side to side in the dress. When they reached his room, Steve kicked off the heels, kissing Billy, arms wrapped around his neck, Billy’s hands back on his waist, bunched in the smooth fabric.

“God, Billy, I. Thank you.” Steve breathed between kisses. “I thought, I thought you were gonna be disgusted. That’s why I, why I never told you, showed you.”

“I just want you to be happy. I just love yo-” he choked, cutting himself off. Steve had pulled back, looking at him with wide eyes.

“Did you just-”

“No.”

“Yes, you did.”

“No I didn’t.”

“I heard you, you just said you love me.” Billy went to leave the room, but Steve caught him around the middle, using his body weight to keep Billy there. “No! Don’t leave! I love you too!”

Billy went still. Steve fell to the floor, not anticipating Billy no longer pulling against him. He scrambled to his feet again, face red.

“You, you love me?”

“Fuck yeah. I was, I was scared to tell you. Thought you didn’t feel the same, or, or that even if you did, the second I, showed you this you’d be outta here.” Billy barked a laugh, relieved.

“God, I was scared too. Still am I guess. Don’t have the best track record with love.” He looked at his hands. “Figured it’d be safer for both of us if we, if we didn’t.”

“Fuck being safe. I wanna be with you, Bill.” Billy rushed at Steve, lifting him up bridal style before dropping him on the bed, settling his weight on top of Steve.

“I’ll keep you safe. Anyone tries to fuck with you, they’ll have to deal with me.” Steve smiled, reaching up to kiss Billy.

“And you really don’t mind all this?” He gestured vaguely to himself. “Like, if I wear this stuff, kinda all the time?”

“Whatever makes you happy makes me happy, Doll. That’s how this works.”

“Well, you know what would make me happy right now?” He was biting at his bottom lip, eyes bright. “Sitting on your cock in nothing but this.” He was toying with the strap of his bra, peeking out from where the dress had slipped down a little. Billy could see the black lace of the cups, dark and beautiful against Steve’s pale skin.

“Oh yeah, I can make that happen for you, Baby.” Billy smirked, flipping them over. “Get to work, then.”

[novantinuum]

Shattering Atlas (a corrupted!Steven one-shot)

Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: T (TW: depression and body horror)

Words: 4.2K~

Summary: A boy can only carry an entire galaxy upon his back for so long before the weight of it all finally becomes too much.

Folks, here it is! I’m finally finished. AO3 link to be posted in the reblogs.

Disclaimer: This is absolutely far darker and more drastic than I believe canon would EVER tread if this theory had the faintest chance of being anywhere close to the truth, but sometimes you just feel like being super angsty for angst's sake, y'feel? It was an interesting writing experiment nonetheless. Not gonna lie, this is kinda a vent piece. Please do heed those tags. This delves into some difficult territory both mentally and otherwise, as it's written entirely from Steven's POV.

_____

Steven knows he’s messed-up.

It’s not something he tries to advertise to all the sweet, innocent people who somehow after all this time still choose to stand by his side, but he can’t lie to himself. Spending a significant chunk of your childhood actively doubting your own personhood shatters you in ways no amount of unconditional love can ever hope to mend. And sure, he’s not his mom. He knows that. Been there, had the mental breakdown, seen it, done it. The proof’s in his gem half. He knows. But as much as everyone in his life coddles him, gently tries to reassure him while he tirelessly works day and night to realign the foundation of an entire ancient civilization...

“You’re almost an adult now, isn’t that exciting?”

“Don’t worry about the future, the futures I see for you are as limitless as they are bright.”

“Take a break if you need to, ‘kay? You totally deserve one, little man.”

“Y’know, Schtu-ball, the wonderful thing about adulthood is that you can choose to fly wherever the wind takes you!”

...it’s clear none of that matters anyways. Because it’s not true, not for him. Because beyond his identity as a Crystal Gem, beyond that bottomless desire for belonging he’s been chasing all his life, ever since the fateful moment early in his childhood in which he finally realized— small, pudgy hands clutching at the oversized hand-me-down shirt right over the pink hand-me-down gem in his belly— that he isn’t like anyone else and never will be, the truth is that he genuinely doesn’t know what he wants. Who he is.

Everyone else does.

Connie has plans. Hopes, dreams. A future. She’s already thinking about college, and aims on double majoring in political science and environmental science. (A combination only she’s daring enough to pursue, but if anyone’s got the drive to succeed in that it’s her.) Dad’s still manager for Sadie Killer and the Suspects, and they’re going strong. Amethyst has been playing tour guide to all her fellow Prime sisters lately, galavanting with them all around planet Earth. Garnet is currently on the search for terrified cross-fusion Gems still in hiding across the galaxy. Pearl, Bismuth, and a number of the boardies have spearheaded a campaign to help slowly teach and integrate the humans of the Zoo into modern day society. Lapis and Peridot recently built another barn in the outskirts of Little Homeworld, and are enjoying each other’s company.

But him? When all is said and done, as the restructured Gem society stabilizes and soon no one will need him for anything anymore, when Gems and humans alike stop knocking on his metaphoric door with handfuls of their problems for him to drop everything and solve, he has nothing left. He’s no one. No future, no clue. He’s been drained empty.

He’s just drifting through life with the parking break on, continuously waiting— his nerves jittering at every quiet moment— for the next big crisis to crash into his universe and drop feed him even the tinniest shard of purpose.

After all, what is one to do when they’ve spent their entire life training to save the world, but the world has already been saved?

_____

He can’t recall exactly when his current predicament began anymore.

Time’s been hard to keep track of as of late— the days and weeks blending together in an incomprehensible fashion— and yet simultaneously, he might as well have lived a lifetime in the span of the blink of an eye. That being said, he’s pretty sure his most recent gem troubles didn’t truly kick into gear until after the incident with the, erm... cactus monstrosities.

He genuinely didn’t mean to hurt anyone, he didn’t. He only wanted to help... to heal. To try and repair but a shred of the damage Homeworld wrought on this innocent world. It worked when Earth was poisoned, so it should work in the Kindergartens too, right?

Wrong. Very wrong.

His stomach churns as he catches a glimpse of a silly photo of Peridot and himself hanging on the wall by the stairs. A static monument to his shame. Lapis is (still, days later— or is it weeks?) taking care of her gemstone at this very moment, sure, but remembering what happened before that... holding Peridot’s cracked gem in his quivering hands, biting back cries of hopelessness as he ran to the nearest warp pad, escaping from the malformed, hurting creatures born of his own magic... it‘s the kind of horror that he’s sure will linger in his dreams for a long time yet.

It’s like he’s broken. Like his powers just aren’t coming as naturally to him anymore. It’s not quite like that time with the rejuvenator. There’s no sickly glow flickering in and out of existence. No external force acting upon it. No, it’s deeper than that. It’s not a gem sourced problem, it’s him. He’s just... wrong. He’ll try to use his healing ability and it’ll backfire, he’ll summon his bubbles and shields but they’re noticeably less durable, he’ll birth life from his very soul and it’ll grow bitter and corrupt, every bit a mirror of his present mental state. He’ll jump up high in the sky to burn out years of repressed stress in semi-peace and before he can actually do so gravity will grab ahold of him like he’s a petulant, disobedient child and drag him back to the shore. It makes him want to scream, to grind his fingers into the sand so hard his knuckles go white as he sobs out every last one of his stupid, meaningless frustrations, but instead his house is always swarming with people, and his bedroom has no real door, (and he’s too embarrassed to ask for one), and in sum he can never find enough time alone to freely be his genuine messed-up self. It’s fine, though. He doubts he’s capable of crying at this point anyways.

“Dude, you okay?” Amethyst asks with brows furrowed in concern, snapping him back to reality.

His GameStation controller rests precariously in his loose grasp, entirely forgotten in the previous moment. The game they’re playing is paused. He must have blanked out again, and completely ruined their co-op fight. He lets out a shaky breath as he tightens his fingers around the plastic grips, digging into them as if they’re his sole handle on reality.

“Yeah, sorry,” he says swiftly, plastering a smile on his face with the ease of someone who’s been growing adept at this endless charade for months and months. “Didn’t sleep too well last night. Muscle cramps from training, y’know?”

He watches her closely, catalogues every minute shift in her features. Her eyes narrow so slightly that anyone else might’ve missed it. But he doesn’t. He’s observant. He’s gotta be. It’s the only way he’s kept going for this long, the only way he can ensure no one else knows. They don’t need any more worry. Regardless, Amethyst’s lack of subtlety betrays her, because it’s clear she’s searching his expression and body language right back. His chest pounds. Hastily, he holds up the controller, feeling his face go pale under her scrutiny.

Geeze, how pathetic.

No matter how hard he tries to mask it, he‘s already falling apart.

“So... we gonna play another round, or?” Right as he says this, his stomach chooses to let out an inopportune gurgle. He bites at the insides of his cheeks, inwardly cursing at the bad timing.

It’s thankfully enough to divert Amethyst’s attention from... other matters, though.

“Yo. Ste-man. Your stomach’s straight up monologuing. Have you even eaten today?”

He dimly considers this as he tries not to focus on how empty and faint his body currently feels, mind turning to fuzz. “Uhh...”

She frowns, and promptly pulls herself to her feet. “Yeah, so I’m gonna take that as a no. I’ll be right back, ‘kay? Gonna get us some cheese!” she declares bombastically, putting on a mock announcer voice.

He watches her leave his room, prancing downstairs like she doesn’t have a care in the world. A faint huff of sheer relief passes through his nostrils. Absentmindedly, his thumbs jiggle the controller’s joystick, unable to strike the earlier image of Amethyst— concern engulfing her usually carefree self— from his mind. He really should be more careful about what he says. How he acts.

He honestly couldn’t live with himself if he slipped up and became yet another emotionally taxing problem for them to deal with. Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl... all his family, his friends. They deserve peace. They deserve to be satisfied, they deserve their happily ever after. They certainly don’t deserve him, self-destructing all over the bright and shining future they’d won.

Or nearly shattering them.

Putting them in needless danger, danger that’s all his fault, because he’s broken.

His throat grows tight, airway constricted, images of black beady eyes, razor sharp fangs, and malformed limbs invading his thoughts, clawing away at insecurities long scabbed over until they ooze a bitter red. Peridot’s shrill yelp as she’s overtaken in an instant. That dreadful, immediately recognizable sound, a cracking Gem, seared onto his heart for the rest of time.

He... he can’t deny it anymore. His magic’s gone toxic. He’s toxic, bringing suffering and decay where once he brought healing. All his Gem powers are fading, maybe forever. And with them fading, he’ll soon be of no use to anyone, and when they realize why they faded they won’t want him around anyways, and y’know, it’s probably for the better they’ll have a concrete reason to finally push him away. He’s not stupid. He’s always known what an emotionally taxing strain he’s been on everyone, ever since the day Mom died for him to be born.

Steven grips the controller so hard that his fingers grow numb, mind stewing in the dark fantasies of what he’d like to do with himself when he’s left behind for good.

And then... his heart leaps in his throat as he dimly hears Amethyst begin to whisper to the others (they’re back? They’re back?? When did they return, why didn’t you notice them, how could you just miss—) downstairs.

“Y’guys,” he hears her say frantically, under her breath, “I think we really gotta talk with Steven. Something’s seriously wrong, and he won’t tell me what.”

“What, you mean to say he’s in danger? Garnet, do you see anything?”

“Hmm. I don’t foresee any external threats to Steven’s safety in the near future, but...”

“Amethyst, he’s clearly still upset about Peridot. And once she reforms in a few days, when she’s ready, he’ll be fine! Trust me.“

“No, trust me, I genuinely think this is more than just Peridot! It’s getting me super worried. He hasn’t been eating like he should, y’guys. I don’t think he’s showered in days. Sometimes it’s like he’s... I dunno, like, he isn’t even fully present. And y’know, thinking about it now? It’s been like this for a while. Since before all the cactus stuff.”

“Well, if he doesn’t want to talk about it, I’m not sure how we could—“

“We need to call Greg over,” Garnet interrupts Pearl, a new, thinly veiled panic rising in her voice. “Right now.”

His eyes stretch open wide.

Oh.

Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no... Not here, not now, not— please, not now!

His breath hastens, his body outright shaking now. He curls tight into himself, the game controller dropping from his slackened fingers onto the floor as he clutches his knees to his chest. Sweat beads in droplets on his forehead. He outright yanks at his hair.

Amethyst, she can’t just waltz downstairs and!—

I don’t want to—

Peridot, getting cracked, I- it’s all my fault and she didn’t—

I- all of this- I’m so useless, careless, l- I’m losing my mind, what’s even wrong- why are you panicking!- I don’t—

T-they can’t know, they can’t know, they CAN’T—

He can’t fully bite back his cries as his gem flares burning hot, a rush of pure, unadulterated agony spiking through his hard light veins in an indescribably eternal split-second, the very experience of hypocrisy. Every single muscle in his body seizes. His ears ring, filled with a cacophonous clamor of sound that slashes through his mind with the deadly force of a long blade. Crippling. Debilitating. All-consuming. Hell. This is hell. Because then his head is pounding, and his limbs are all weak and shaky, and for a moment he’s bathed in a faint wash of pink, the glow enveloping him like his own corona of sickness as he succumbs to the pain he’s sequestered inside, bitterly festering for all these years.

Hell eventually recedes, both its note and its physical touch, but the dark clouds looming over his mind do not. Slowly, he loosens his grip on his curls, trying desperately to bring balance to his breathing. His ears are still ringing. His head is still cotton. Questions abound. For instance: what on Earth was that?? Stars, is something else wrong with his gem now, too? Thoroughly disorientated, he yanks up the hem of his shirt.

“Steven?!” Pearl calls frantically from downstairs, right as his trembling fingers gently trace the exposed facets of his gem. “Are you okay up there?”

He squints, features compressing in his sheer confusion. Visually, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. No imperfections, no flickering light, nothing. So then what’s—

“Hey, Steven? Yo?? You, uh- maybe wanna come eat downstairs, or?”

A shudder runs clear through his form, starting from his gem and coursing outwards to the furthest extremities. He grits his teeth as he rides through the stabbing discomfort, clutching at his stomach. It’s like he’s about to vomit. Sure, so maybe he was really hungry before, and maybe that has a little to do with what he’s experiencing now, but... this... still doesn’t feel right. Spots swim in his vision as he glances down again.

And that’s when he sees it, slowly creeping across the skin of his bare forearm as clear as day.

It’s a patch of dull, pinkish hide. Not human skin, hide. He runs his index finger along its perimeter, all of reality screeching to a halt as his brain performs somersaults in a desperate last-ditch attempt to contextualize the information his eyes are sending him right now.

“What?” he whispers in disbelief, (even though he has a few terrifying theories), frantic heartbeat pounding in his ears like a drum.

“I’m checking on him,” Garnet says, just loud enough that he knows for certain she intends him to hear. Solid footsteps creep across the floorboards, advancing towards the foot of the stairs.

It’s frankly impressive how fast a single stimulus can turn panic to outright paranoia.

He almost trips over himself diving to retrieve his jacket off the floor, forcing his arms through the sleeves faster than any of the Gems could ever summon their weapons. Hide it. Hide it away. They can’t see you, they can’t know you’re corru- NO! Stop.

Bathroom. He needs to get to the bathroom.

His bare feet solidly connect with the floor, toes curling inwards as he shudders again. A pulsing ache settles into the bones of his skull. Then a prickle at his neck. Reflexively, he slaps his hand against the affected locale. There’s another spot steadily growing there.

Alone, NOW.

The whole world’s spinning as he turns on his heels and flies across the length of his bedroom— sprinting past the TV, shoving past Garnet, who’s already halfway up the open stairwell, and leaping clear over the couch from midway down the last set of steps. (Everyone’s shouting in blind panic as he enters their sight. Fear. Needless, unwanted worry. Calling his name, calling for peace, but his ears are still ringing and their voices are overlapping and he can’t distinguish any of it.) When he reaches the bathroom his hand grips the knob so hard that the metal almost crumples under his force, and he swings himself through the doorway, slams it shut, and turns the lock with pink-splotched fingers faster than any one of the Gems can move to stop him.

For a split moment, things are okay. He’s alone. Moreover, he’s safe.

(But are you really?)

His head is pounding again, the pulsing at his temples soon coalescing into a constant inescapable misery. Letting his eyes flutter shut, he lets his forehead lull against the door. Flexes his knuckles, imagines the splotches disappearing from sight as easily as eye bags under makeup. He tries to calm his breathing in the meditative way Garnet once showed him. In for four counts... and out. In... and out. Come on, just ride it out, Universe. You’re a Gem- a diamond, for cripe’s sake! Control it. Conceal. Move on.

“Steven?!” Amethyst calls from outside. “Please talk to us, what’s goin’ on?”

"Whatever it is, you don't have to be alone!" Pearl adds. He doesn't even have to see her face to know that she's crying.

A renewed burst of panic spikes through his veins at this realization.

“Stop worrying about me, I’m fine!” he bites back on impulse.

“No, you’re NOT!” Amethyst hollers, and then... after a thoughtful pause, her tone softening: “I- I know you’re not.”

He stares down at his hands, brows threading together, watching as the patch of hide continues to inch across his skin. The genuine concern interlaced in every syllable of her speech is enough to make his gut churn with guilt.

“Steven, I... stars, I know you probably overheard me talking to everyone jus’ a second ago, and I know I probably betrayed every scrap of trust we ever had ‘coz of that, and I wanna say I’m sorry, but I can’t just stand aside and watch you treat yourself like garbage. Please, the door’s jammed. Let us in. We just wanna help!”

His lip quivers, despite himself. “I don’t need any help!” he insists, stubbornly pushing past the crack in his voice. “I’m just—“

He’s interrupted by a rush of crippling agony radiating upwards from his gem once more, the ache at either side of his head intensifying into three points. Hands rush to the site on automatic. Fingers grasping, searching. Discovering.

There’s something growing at his temples, he realizes with a rush of horror. Something hard, faceted. Disturbingly cold to the touch.

There’s no way to bite back his screams as the growths fully protrude, none at all, even with his mouth clamped shut, and even though he can’t see them he can sense their weight as they wind upwards and back, up and out of his curls, and he’s shaking, oh stars is he shaking, chest heaving up and down so hard he’s not sure he’ll ever be free of these awful tremors ever again, and— A hoarse sob forces its way to the surface as a third growth crowns his forehead. Trembling fingers scrape down the length of the door as he collapses to his knees, nails sharpening into gnarled talons as they sink further and further into the wood, carving through it like butter. He clenches his jaw back together so hard that with any greater pressure he might shatter his own teeth.

Still quite woozy under the threat of hyperventilation, he slowly turns his head. Extricates those dreadful claws from the door. Dares himself to look. Forcing himself back up to his feet, he gazes deep into the depths of the mirror. And as the creature trapped on the other side stares back through sickeningly pink irises— blotches of color steadily creeping up their jawline and across their cheek, inching to meet the base of those glistening crystalline horns— all known reality shatters into smithereens.

Not me, not me, not me, is the mantra he chants to himself like a prayer, stubbornly clinging to any vestige of normalcy as if this is all but a vivid nightmare he can stir awake from.

(As if deep down, a tiny, beaten-down part of himself still wants to believe he deserves a future too.)

But the darkness reflected in that mirror is following his every jerky, erratic movement as all the despair and guilt and self-hatred festering within continues to consume him like a matchstick to fire.

Not real. It’s not real! I don’t need help. I don’t need the Gems, they don’t need to know, I’m fine, I’m FINE, this isn’t corru - NO, DON’T THINK ABOUT IT! YOU CAN’T—

They’re yelling outside. Arguing, probably. (And true to form, Pearl‘s cries are the shrillest.) But he can’t be certain of anything anymore while smothered under the fog’s thickening surface, with the rest of the world relegated to mere static and stimuli. Not a word, not a clue. No way to know if it’s an argument about him or with him.

And in his mind their distress stands as yet another sign. Just another slice of proof that they truly are at their happiest without him, that his continued existence only serves as a complication. He can’t deny it anymore. He can’t lie, can’t tiptoe around the inevitable truth; like this, he’s nothing but a liability. A ticking time bomb, set to shatter everything and everyone in his path. Shaking like a leaf, he unfurls his fists, watching as the dull pink hide overtakes the last clear patches of flesh upon his misshapen, monstrous fingers.

They’re better off without you.

The passing seconds cease to exist as he convulses again, this time centralized at the base of the spinal column. He doubles over, leans into the pain. Rides it through vertebrae by vertebrae, raking his claws deep into the wood floor as a fifth limb emerges from where the spine left off, steadily lengthening— fortifying itself with jagged crystalline spikes as it grows ever longer. Its weight is entirely foreign, yet it shifts upon his slightest command. Panic overruling all logic once more, he thrashes about, the tail swinging across the bathroom counter like a whip. His toothbrush, comb, and other various toiletries he hasn't made use of in days clatter to the floor, abandoned.

R u n.

The thought rampages through his shattered soul like an avalanche. Yanks him by the horns. Consumes his mind and body like a trance. He has to escape from here, from the house, the Gems, has to run quick, before it’s too late and you can’t do anything more but wordlessly scream.

He doesn’t stop to question this impulse. Doesn’t stop to peer at that poor tortured creature in the mirror again. For a moment his claws struggle to grasp the crumpled door knob, fumbling in failure’s wake.

When he finally forces the door open, the whole world holds its breath.

Pearl’s eyes blow wide upon the no-doubt horrifying sight. Her hands fly to her mouth. “Steven?!”

Even Amethyst reacts in an adverse manner, stepping back towards the support of the wall. “Holy...” she breathes, face paling.

And just knowing he’s out here now, every gnarled, nightmarish feature exposed in front of his family like a raw nerve, makes his blotchy, spot-covered skin crawl.

“DON’T LOOK AT ME, I’m FINE!” he hollers as he sprints to the warp pad, barbed tail whipping wildly behind him. Pearl yelps in alarm as she only barely dodges its mace-like swing. Unable to hold back his sobs anymore, he collapses to his knees on the hard crystal. Coils his tail around himself by sheer instinct. Hides his face away behind arms. Hot tears spill from his eyes, vision blurring and sharpening in rhythm to the unbearable ache pounding in his head. “I’m fine,” he whispers pathetically, voice catching.

He can practically feel the vibrations through the floor as someone approaches. It’s Garnet. He doesn’t know how he knows, but it can only be her. His breath hastens against his better wishes. Can’t stop, won’t stop, can’t stop... The vision of the temple door begins to pirouette in dizzy circles around him as he arches his back, and with a sharp gasp feels something tear its way through his shirt and jacket right above his spine, all jagged and spiked and— NO! He grinds his jaw together, shrinking further into himself. Not real. It’s not real, not real, not—

“Steven,” she says in a measured tone as he heaves for air. (No, with hesitation. Fear. She’s hesitating because she’s afraid of you, she’s afraid because you’re a monster NO.) “I know you’re hurting, but I need you to take a deep breath with me, and try to calm down. Please, let us help you...”

A heart wrenchingly familiar hand reaches out to him, adorned by a ruby gem and a golden wedding band. His fingers clamp around thick, greasy curls, brushing against the horns protruding from his temples. A keening cry slips out from his mouth against his better wishes. They want to help. They only want to help...

He peeks at her through the crook of his arm, his most likely reddened, blotchy eyes meeting hers. She’s taken off her visor. She’s crying too.

For a glimmer of a second, he considers reaching out. Taking her offered hand with his own clawed one. But then...

Haven’t you been a burden enough already?

His face screws up, and his hands clench into fists.

“NO,” he shouts, slamming them down upon the warp pad. It activates, (blessedly still accessible at this early stage of corruption NO don’t think about it!!), glowing a bright cyan as he envisions where he wants to go: no particular destination in his mind but away, away, away.

After all, he already knows he’s a monster.

So... he might as well become one too.

_____

Notes:

Some days you just gotta have an entire mental breakdown and go full wyrm, y'hear?

HCs I tapped into for this fic:

After being healed, formerly cracked Gems take longer to reform than Gems who were only poofed. Peridot will be okay eventually, she just hasn’t reformed quite yet.

Steven is still able to warp because he hasn’t quite passed the threshold of corruption that prevents a Gem from accessing the warp stream. I imagine it's very much a matter of mental connection, and having the right presence of mind to tap into it. Probably a few minutes after this, if Steven were to continue going downhill and his mind fully fell into the fog of corruption, he’d no longer be able to warp. He got super lucky here.

This potential future blindsided Garnet because previously- like how Steven’s newfound maturity threw her off as discussed in Pool Hopping- she hadn’t factored in the idea of Steven being in such a low mental state. Amethyst was the first to really see past his attempts to mask it because she personally had dealt with depression like this before and knew what it looked like.

Maybe one day after SUF airs I'll write more on this topic, but as for now this will remain a one-shot. I 100% imagine Steven would ultimately be okay in this timeline, though. They'd be able to help him, stop the corruption. Steven goes to heckin' therapy. He'll live on, he'll begin to recover and cope. But that's a whole 'nother story.

Thank you for reading!

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Stark Spangled Banner Ch1: Back Into The Field

Summary: Katie heads back to SHIELD following the crazy events in Miami and finds herself on desk arrest following a disciplinary for two weeks. But when catastrophe strikes on a mission, she kinda wishes she had stayed there.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x O/C Katie Stark

Warnings: Bad language (no smut, yet, but will be down the line. A bit of angst,  injury and blood (some may find upsetting)

Stark Spangled Man: Re-cap

Steve was mad, furious, absolutely and utterly infuriated. His foot tapped as he rode the elevator up to the 95th floor where it pinged open and he stepped into the living area of the tower. Katie uncurled herself off the couch and started to speak before the doors had even shut behind him.

“I know you’re pissed…” she began, but he held his hand up, shaking his head.

“Pissed doesn’t even come into it…” he said, “Are you insane?”

“Not last time I checked.”

He felt his jaw tighten, this wasn’t the time for her jokes or quips. As he looked at she felt herself quell under his gaze and she dropped her eyes from his and sighed.

“I had to help.”

“You’re a fucking idiot_!” he stood, arms folded as he glared at her. She raised an eyebrow at him, but remained silent as he unloaded “You could have been seriously hurt, or killed… I told you to call me!”

“You’re only pissed off because you missed a chance to play the hero…” she snapped and then inwardly groaned. As soon as the words left her mouth she regretted them.

“Is…is that actually what you think?” he frowned, looking like puppy dog she’d just kicked across the floor.

“No, its not…” she said, shaking her head. “I didn’t mean…”

“I was worried about you!” he pressed, “Katie, you’re my best friend and I couldn’t cope losing you as well…”

As well as Bucky.

His sentence hung, unfinished, making her feel like shit. She sighed and crossed the room, slipping her arms around his waist. After a second or two he unfolded his arms and hugged her back.

“You should have called me.” He sighed, his tone softening as she lay her head on his chest.“It was so frustrating. Fury was refusing to do anything, if I knew how to fly one of those damned jets I’d have taken one myself…"

“Ask Clint for some flying lessons.” she said, stepping back to look up at him, sighing again as his face displayed no amusement at her attempted joke. “Look, I’m sorry, truth is, I didn’t think. We just got caught up and I didn’t want to drag you into something that wasn’t your fight. This was down to Tony and a very long list of people he has pissed off…”

Steve snorted as he released her from his grip “Well then it isn’t your fight either is it?”

“He’s my brother, Steve, I’d die for him if I had to.” she shrugged.

“How is he now?” Steve asked, following her towards the bar area.

“Seems ok.” she said, stepping behind it. “Recovering from the surgery, destroyed all his Iron Man suits…”

“He what?”

“Clean Slate protocol… blew them all up. Including the one he had made for me.” she slid an open beer across the bar top towards him. He caught it as he settled down on a stool, shaking his head.

“Wait, he made you a suit?” Steve frowned “An Iron Man suit?”

“Iron Maiden…” she grinned, leaning on the bar opposite him as he looked at her blankly. She rolled her eyes and grinned “They’re a band…rock… add them to the list.”

He raised an eyebrow at her and pulled out the notebook she’d gifted to him the year, making a note of the name, before he slipped it back into his jacket pocket.

“So he made you a suit…” he said, motioning her to continue.

“Yeah, well wasn’t much point seeing as I only got to wear it for like half an hour or whatever. It was only a prototype, nothing I could use with SHIELD either as it was too conspicuous, not that it matters anyway as he blew them all up, like a massive firework display”

“Why?” he frowned, bottle paused halfway to his mouth.

“Some kind of outward gesture to Pepper, basically said that any designs for a new one she gets to help him with…”

Steve took a big pull of his beer and swallowed. “That’s a big step for him.”

“Yeah, I know. He loves her.” Katie swallowed a mouthful of beer “And she loves him, she’s good for him.”

“Is she ok now after the whole Extremis thing?”

“Yeah. Tony managed to engineer an antidote with a bit of help from the SHIELD lab and she’s good.”

“And how are you?” he asked.

“Honestly?” Katie snorted, shaking her head “absolutely exhausted by all of it. Gods, Aliens, crazy assed super soldiers that explode…” her eyes narrowed as she eyed him playfully and suspiciously “you’re not gonna explode are you?”

“Not planning on it, no.” his crooked grin spread across his face.

***********

March 2013.

Any doctor would cry if they visited SHIELD; the caffeine and alcohol intake of pretty much every worker there would way exceed a dose construed to be healthy. Mind you, if you asked any agent whether they’d give up coffee or alcohol, they’d say alcohol in a heartbeat. Well, most of them. Katie couldn’t imagine surviving without an ice cold beer on a hot summer’s day, but she also didn’t function until she had her morning cup of Joe. It was a tough choice to make.

Not today though, she needed coffee. And lots of it. After ‘going rogue’ to chase the Mandarin with her brother Fury was pissed and as such was basically giving her the most boring thing he could think of- working through piles of mission reports, analysing and cross referencing them with others to pick up on common threads .To be honest, she didn’t mind it too much. After the excitement of the festive period she had welcomed a relatively quiet return to work, and didn’t particularly give a shit what Fury thought about her either. That said, it was heavy going, but as with anything she was soon engrossed, circling a part of the hard copy of the report with highlighter pen, before glancing back at the screen to cut and paste it into the Scrapbook App she used to trace trends with, letting out a groan. 

Nope, this was officially crap.

Steve’s morning wasn’t much better. After one particularly gruelling Ops Training session, whereby one of the newest kids suffered a broken nose after colliding painfully with a stray shock baton, he showered and headed up to find Katie. She’d skipped the Ops training, not particularly needing it to be fair as she was a dead shot as it was, but her main reason was she was buried in work that Fury had dropped on her desk. He found her sat, paper in her hand and she was looking her computer screen. She sighed, scratching at her head before she dropped the file onto the desk letting out a groan. It was such a pure, natural action, Steve felt he was interrupting something, even though he knew he wasn’t. So he gave a little cough and as she turned round, her pretty face cracking into a smile which he returned. 

“Fancy lunch?” he asked her.

She nodded instantly “God yes. Can we get FroYo after?”

“Yeah but don’t let me pile it with all that crap this time!” he shot her his best playfully disapproving look as he remembered the first time she had taken him to the Frozen Yoghurt stall. He had loaded his with all sorts of different things and the result had been beyond foul.

Katie gave a laugh and picked up her jacket, shrugging it on. He held the door for her and she stepped under his arm, and he followed her to the elevator.

“Stick to chocolate chip, mint and cookie dough!“ she said, stepping into it. “Trust me.”

They strode across the foyer and into the early spring sun. Katie pulled her jacket tighter around herself as they crossed the street. 

“How are you just wearing a shirt?” she asked, looking at Steve as he fell into step besides her, making sure he was on the side nearest the road. He noticed that she’d long since given up chiding him on this old fashioned habit after he had revealed it was something he used to do for his mom too, and Bucky’s younger sister. She’s simply rolled her eyes but today he swore he saw something that looked like a soft smile flicker on her lips when he positioned himself on her left, but as quick as he noticed it, it was gone.

“It’s not too bad. Been through worse.” He grinned as he opened the door to the Deli for her. He followed her in and stood besides her in the queue and became aware that she was looking at him.

“What?” he asked, turning to her exasperatedly. Katie couldn’t help but grin, she enjoyed winding the usually mild mannered man up

“I’m trying to imagine how you would look with a beard. And with shorter hair.” she said causing the Captain to roll his eyes. He was used to her utter random comments now. She was very like her brother in that respect, her mind moved at about 100 miles an hour and half the time he had no idea what made her come out with the stuff she did and to be honest, he’d long since given up attempting to understand.

“Not gonna happen.”

“What the hair cut or the beard?” she asked.

“Neither.”

“Spoil sport.”

“Captain America doesn’t have a beard.” he shook his head.

“Steve Rogers could…”

She was impossible, but Steve couldn’t help but want to laugh. This playfulness was the thing that he enjoyed the most, how she could just treat him like any other punk she knew.

“Did anyone ever tell you you’re exhausting?” he rolled his eyes, a smirk playing on his face as she stepped forward in the queue.

“Yeah, you.” she spun round to face him, grinning “Several times. But you still come back for more.”

“Well I have the distinct impression if I didn’t you’d hunt me down anyway”

They ordered and ate their lunch, Steve filling her in on the ops drill and after Fro-Yo they made arrangements to slob out that evening at Steve’s with a film. Katie headed back to her office to continue sifting through the Mount Everest of reports she had to do. As with anything once she got the bit between her teeth, she completely zoned out. It was only when she heard a gabble of voices all bidding each other goodbye that she looked up from her work. It was dark outside, and past 6.

“Shit…” she groaned as the realisation washed over her. She was supposed to be at Steve’s for half past. She clicked to save her work whilst calling him at the same time, phone sandwiched between her cheek and shoulder.

“So…I’m running late” she apologised the instant he answered. He chuckled.

“I thought that you said the one good thing about being confined to desk duties was that you set the hours!”

“Yeah, well I got caught up in something…but I’m leaving now. Do you want me to grab pizza on the way?”

“Sounds good, not Chicago Style though. I’m hankering for a proper piece of pie.”

“God you’re such a New Yorker.” she rolled her eyes.

“You say it like it’s a bad thing.” he said, his voice taking on a mock hurt tone and she could imagine him pouting on the other end of the phone.

“Hmmm, I’m undecided. Right, I’m going now…see you soon.”

“Drive safe.”

“What are you my dad?”

“Old enough to be” he shot back.

“Touche.” she sniggered, cutting the call

*******

“Boring New York style for Mr S Rogers…” she spoke into the intercom and he buzzed her in. By the time she’d climbed the stairs he was waiting at the door to his flat, leaning on the door frame.

“Bout time…” he muttered, taking the boxes off her “Was about to send a search party.”

“Mario’s was packed” she said, kicking off her sneakers and heading straight through to his kitchen to grab a beer out of his fridge without waiting for him to offer, knowing he wouldn’t. He didn’t need to. 

Steve headed into the living room, depositing the 3 boxes on the coffee table and reaching straight in for one of the pepperoni slices before Katie flopped down next to him, handing him a beer.

“What we ticking off the list tonight?” she asked.

“A Few Good Men.” he said, nodding at the tv where he had queued the movie up ready.

“Wait...did you manage to navigate that Android box all by yourself…” she looked at him and he sighed. 

“I’m not completely useless ya know…”

“Jury’s out.” she teased, curling her legs up onto the sofa next to her.

They watched the film. Steve got most of the references within it. He chuckled in the right places, and laughed out loud when Katie was unable to stop herself uttering the immortal line “You can’t handle the truth” When the film had finished, Katie unfolded herself from where she had been sat and they launched into Steve’s favourite part of Movie Nights- the post film analysis.

“Who was the guy who played the colonel…errr Jessup?” he looked at her.

“Jack Nicholson” she said, “Amazing actor. He’s in a few on your list.”

“He was good. Kaffee annoyed me a little, arrogant, cocksure.”

“Reminds me of Tony” Katie sniggered.

“Well, I didn’t want to say anything” he said, giving a little smirk.

“You enjoy it?” she asked.

“Yeah, very good. Better than the one we watched the other night anyway.”

“Yeah, pisses me off though. I mean Galloway, she’s a strong female military woman and they still have to go with the romance angle. And with Kaffee too. Personally I’d have punched him in the face several times.“

“It does seem to be a tried and tested format” he said, leaning back against the cushions on his couch “Boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy wins girl over…”

“Appeals to the hopeless romantic in all of us.” Katie shrugged “Crap like that, happy endings and all, never happens unless it’s in a film. What’s more likely to happen is boy gets you into bed and then fucks off when the chase is over. Well, most men anyway.”

Whilst her action and mannerisms remained neutral, the bitterness in her voice gave her away and Steve felt a surge of anger towards her ex. He’d never met the guy and still wanted to punch his lights out for the way he’d treated her. They continued to chat for a bit longer until Katie glanced at her watch,and seeing the time decided to call it a night. Steve walked her down to her car, he always did without fail, another thing she had given up chiding him for and when he came back upstairs and got in the shower, he found himself straying back to the first time he had seen her, the minute she had stepped into the light in the boxing gym and he’d found himself looking into the greenest eyes he had ever seen in his life.

The more he stood there in the shower and thought about her, the more he started to feel something…well…different. And he couldn’t put his finger on it. Was it that he found her attractive? Well of course he did. To be honest, he reckoned you’d have to be blind not to. And if he was totall  honest, since he’d seen her the first time in that little boxing gym in New York he had noticed how pretty she was. She had the figure of the stars of his time. Hour glass waist, brunette hair, shapely ass and legs and quite large breasts considering she was so slim. But what did it for him were her eyes. Deep, warm green pools that he could lose himself in quite happily. And that smile, that fucking smile that could make him stop in his tracks when she flashed it. But it was more than just that, she was…well…just Katie.

It was strange, really, she reminded him so much of Peggy in some ways, but in others she was so different. Both were vivacious, smart, strong willed and beautiful. But where Peggy had been harsh, after a military upbringing, Katie had a softer edge to her. She was still ferocious at times, but she was a people person, and somehow knew exactly how to explain and understand what he was trying to say even when he struggled to himself.She made him feel at ease. With that in mind it wasn’t surprising they had grown so close. He could trust her and knew that she would do anything for him because she was a good person. And she made it so easy to be around, he didn’t feel a shred of awkwardness around her. 

He hadn’t thought he’d ever find himself a friend he could be as honest and open with again, one he would happily lay his life on the line for, not just out of a sense of duty but out of a sense of love and friendship.

Who you trying to kid, Rogers? 

He knew his feelings went deeper than that. All those times he'd felt irritation at other men looking at her or touching her, all those times he'd looked at her and just wanted to smile because she was just her... the fear he had felt when he had known she was off chasing the Mandarin and he wasn’t able to help...none of that was anything to do with mere friendship. 

He leaned his forehead against the tiles of the shower cubicle and groaned. He was crushing on his best friend. He was so fucked. *******

Katie’s desk arrest didn’t last long. 2 weeks later she was catapulted back into the field, on what was supposed to be a simple op, simple by SHIELD standards, anyway. They had a request from the Cuban government – all very hush, hush, of course –to take down a drug lord who ran the cartel SHIELD had tangled with last year.

Katie read the files, all the intel, pulled together a briefing and delivered it, answering questions that came her way from the team and then handed over to Steve when it was his turn to take the floor. He started issuing out his orders, and informed everyone that the 3 newest recruits would be joining them as it would be a fairly straight forward op to ease them into.

And it had been, for the most part, until one of those new recruits, Steven Adams, had frozen mid fire fight and as a consequence he’d taken 3 bullets to the chest.

“I got him…” Katie said, calmly taking aim at the hostile responsible and as soon as she knew she’d hit him, she broke cover to get to Adams, as she was closest to him. She skidded to the floor, pressing her hand to his chest and her other reached to his face, turning it to look at her.

“I got you…Adams…look at me…” she said gently, her hand warm, wet and slick with the young man’s blood. Steve dropped besides her and she turned to face him.

“I can’t stop the bleeding…” she said, her tone giving away exactly how worried she was.

“Medic, NOW!” Steve yelled, looking around frantically for help “We need emergency evac…”

“This is just like Coulson all over again…” Katie mumbled to no one in particular as she reached into her belt and retrieved a tab of morphine. Steve gripped the young man’s hand as she administered the pain relief.

“Son,look at me…” he instructed and Adams horrified eyes turned to Steve “That’s it, keep looking at me…”

Steve swallowed, figthing to keep his face calm. He’d seen that look so many times on the battle field, the look that told him the man who lay injured knew he was injured beyond repair, that there was nothing to be done for him. But this was now, 70 years into the future, medical science had worked so many wonders since then, they had to be able to do something, right?

“RUMLOW WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT MEDIC?” Katie screamed, her tone frantic.

“Still got hostiles on us!” Rumlow replied in his ear “Evans has taken 4 down but they’re approaching from the right! We need to cover the medics in and now you’re down there…”

Steve instantly looked round before he looked back at Katie “We can take him ourselves”

She bit her lip, looking at the young man, then up to Steve again. Everything in their training told them not to move casualties, but Steve knew if they stayed here he was going to bleed out.Katie seemed to come to the same conlcusion a she nodded.

"Alright…Brock, we’re coming to you. Have the medics prep the bay…Evans, we need top cover…”

“Roger, Nova…”

“Steven… we’re gonna move you now.” she said, looking at him, her voice calm and level. She took his hand out of Steve’s which allowed the captain to haul him into a lift over his shoulder. Once he had the man positioned he gave a small jerk of his head and Katie picked up his shield in one hand, and her pistol in the other as they broke cover, sprinting across the front of the industrial yard towards the jet. In the corner of his eye, Steve spotted 2 hostiles moving but before he could shout a warning, Katie had fired off 2 shots, the thumps and lack of returning meaning each bullet had hit its target. Soon they were joined by Rumlow who flanked them up the ramp where she dropped the shield to the floor and offered her hand back to Adams, Steve placed him gently on the stretcher.

“It’s gonna be ok…” Katie said, soothing him as the medics bustled around, glancing up every so often to watch what they were doing.

“Can you tell my mom…I love her…and dad…” Adams was mumbling now and she shook her head.

“You can tell them yourself. “she smiled “you’ll be fine, I promise…”

“We’re locked down outside, local authorities are handling it now. How’s he looking?” Rumlow asked as he stepped up besides Steve who had stood back from where Katie was knelt by the injured man. Steve turned to Rumlow, shaking his head sadly.

“Not good. He lost a lot of blood.”

At that point Katie suddenly drew back slightly, looking at the hand held in hers, before she glanced at the medic who was sadly shaking her head. Katie threw her head back closing her eyes as her face screwed up.

“Shit.” Rumlow muttered as Steve pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and middle finger.

“Radio base” he turned to Brock, his voice soft “Let’s get him home.”

*******

Writing mission reports wasn’t Katie’s favourite thing to do, but this one was awful. So she’d treated it like ripping off a band aid, and after a horrific nights sleep, she’d been at the T riskelion early to get it done. As a result it was little after 10 am, she was done for the day and was about to head home until she heard a familiar voice.

“Eat me…eat me…” The voice was accompanied by a bag from her favourite bakery, which was hovering in the space between the door and the frame, before Clint Barton’s head poked round the side, a grin plastered on his face.

“Hey!” She beamed at her friend as he dropped a cup holder containing two coffees and the bag onto her desk before taking a seat, scooting the wheeled chair over the floor towards her.

“Heard you had a rough time of it yesterday so I brought donuts and almond croissants.And coffee.”

“Hawkeye, you are a godsend.” she said, taking a large drink and leaning back, closing her eyes.

“That the first time you’ve lost a man on a mission?” Clint asked.

“Other than Coulson.” she shrugged. “He was 24 Clint. His whole life ahead of him.”

Clint watched as she rubbed at her temple before reaching into the bag and pulling out an almond croissant. She couldn’t remember when she had last eaten, it must have at least been before the mission.

“How’s Cap taken it?”

“On the outside he seems ok, but I know he blames himself. Keeps saying he shouldn’t have taken him.” Katie shrugged “He’s gone with Fury to see Adams’ parents. Rather him than me.”

“This job is hard.” Clint said after a moment “We fight to keep everyone safe, but y’know, sometimes not everyone makes it. Thing is, if we can’t find a way to deal with that, then maybe next time no one gets saved at all.”

“You mean like Collateral damage?” she snorted, shaking her head.

“No, I mean that everyone one of us that are out in the field know the risks Nova, hell last year 7 of us took on a horde of Aliens in New York. For hours we fought them, and did any of us give a second thought to our own safety? No,because that’s what we do.”

His words made sense. She knew they did, but that didn’t stop the feeling in her stomach that if she had done her research more, maybe she could have spotted something that would have told them about the armour piercing rounds.

*******

Adams’ parents already knew he was dead. Which made it slightly easier. Fury had the local authorities call ahead, common practice now, but still Steve found himself sat on their couch, talking, informing them all about their son’s last moments. They hadn’t shouted, hadn’t screamed or blamed him. Instead, they’d thanked him for what he had done and for bringing him back so they could hold a proper burial.

By the time he got back to base, he was exhausted.

“Here.” Fury said, handing him a glass of scotch from the bottle he had pulled out of his desk. Steve took it, dropping into one of the sofas at the side of the large office, Fury settling into the other. Steve knew the drink couldn’t’ get him drunk, but he liked the momentary buzz he got that lasted all of 60 seconds post sip.

The scotch was smooth, he expected nothing less from the boss. And the pair of them sat in silence for a few moments.

“Ever done that before, a death message?” Fury asked, leaning back.

“Can’t say I have. Wasn’t really my job back in the day.” Steve said, undoing his tie.

“Worst part of the job. Doesn’t matter how many times you do it, never gets any easier.” Fury ran his hand over his face, and it struck Steve how tired his boss actually looked.

“Yeah, it isn’t exactly up there with my favourite thing to do.” he said, rolling the tie up and shoving it into his old Army uniform pocket.

“How’s Nova?” Fury asked.

“She’s upset.” Steve sighed “But she’s strong, she’ll be ok. I’m gonna head over and see how she is later.”

“You two spend a lot of time together outside of work.” Fury commented, innocently enough but there was something in his tone, something that was almost good natured accusation.

“Not a problem is it, Sir?” Steve asked, face straight.

“No, not at all.” Fury said “Why do you think I partnered you up in the first place? She’s a people person…”

“She’s a good friend.” Steve nodded “We get on.”

“Glad to hear it.” Fury said “There’s going to be a debrief with the Secretary of Defense tomorrow.”

Steve sighed “If they’re looking to blame someone, the buck stops with me. I should never have taken the kid.”

“Bullshit.” Fury said simply “I’ve read the reports. From what they say, he just froze.”

“He wasn’t experienced enough.”

“It was a straight forward in and out job Captain.” Fury leaned forward. “What happened was an accident. A tragic one, but an accident none the less. From the reports, neither you nor Stark could have done any more to save his life.”

Steve shrugged, the words were kind but didn’t help him feel any better.

“Taking risks is part of this job.” Fury said simply “It’s a dangerous gig.”

3 glasses of scotch and an hour later he shook the director’s hand and left the office, pulling out his phone. He didn’t want to appear like he was checking up on Katie, so he pinged her a text, dressing it up like it was him who needed to see her, which wasn’t a complete lie. He did, he was craving the normality she gave him.

Can I come over? I could do with seeing a friendly face

He read it a few times, before deciding it was casual enough before he sent it. The reply was almost instantaneous.

My door is always open for you. And I made Mac and Cheese…plenty left.

He couldn’t help but smile. One of the best things about this “new life” was the food, and her Mac and Cheese was frankly his favourite thing to eat on the planet. He shot a message back.

He changed into a pair of sweat and a hoody, hastily making his way to her penthouse and the the smile she gave him when he walked into her place instantly made him feel at ease.

“Hey…” she said, crossing the space towards him and giving him a hug which he happily melted into, a hug they both needed.

“how did it go?” she asked, pulling away.

“As well as can be expected.” He sighed as he followed her into the kitchen, dropping into the stool on the other side of the breakfast bar. “His mom broke down but…they were ok about it. They didn’t shout or yell…”

She flipped the lid off a beer and handed it to him. He took it, with a nod of thanks and pulled a large swig as he sat back down, staring at the bottle in his hand.

He was brooding and blaming himself, Katie could tell so she gently lay her hand on his, reaching over the counter.

“it wasn’t your fault Steve.” she said, gently. She did that all the time, knew what he was thinking. It gave him the unnerving impression that sometimes she could read his mind.

“I should have spotted that shooter…” he said, shaking his head.

“I’m the fucking mission analyst.” she sighed. “I knew from last time those guys were packing, if I’d done more research, maybe I would have found out about the armour piercing rounds…”

“You can’t seriously blame yourself?” Steve’s head shot up unable to believe she actually thought that.

“Why not?” she sighed sadly. She’d been over it a million times in her head that day and had come to the same conclusion every time. She should have spotted something, dug further. “I didn’t do my job.”

“Yes, you did.” he implored, his eyes locking onto hers “Your report clearly set out the layout, the learning from previous missions…Abrams was just too inexperienced, I should never have taken him…”

There was a pause as the microwave pinged and Katie turned to look at it.

“You know, Clint made a good point before.” she said, reaching in for the plate and the smell of the food made his stomach grumble again as she continued “This job, it’s hard. We fight to keep people safe but not everyone makes it back all the time…and if we can’t learn to live with that then maybe next time no one gets saved.”

“It feels like trading lives.” He said as she placed the plate down in front of him “It’s just wrong.”

“I know…” she said, handing him some cutlery and sat down next to him.

“You eaten?” he asked, looking at her, suddenly aware she didn’t have a plate. She nodded.

“Couldn’t have waited until now, I’d have starved to death…” she said, shrugging.

“Hardly.” he replied, mouth full, instantly realising he had said the wrong thing as she narrowed her eyes at him.

“Is that a fat joke?” she asked, making him roll his eyes as he swallowed. That hadn’t been it at all, he was referring to the fact that she never actually stopped eating, despite her tiny frame she gave him a run for his money.

“No, that’s not… I mean you’re tiny…” he said, almost choking on his food through his protests.

“So now you’re making short jokes?” She said back, Steve looked at her, dismayed she thought he was picking on her but then he spotted the look in her eyes and rolled his own.

“Punk.”

“Jerk” she shot back. 

It was the perfect way to escape the trauma and stress of the last few days. Once they had finished eating the two of them flopped down on her large L shape sofa, Steve’s legs extended along one side of the L shape, her legs on the other as she leaned against his shoulder. He couldn’t help but notice the smell of her shampoo…apple, he thought, along with her perfume. Her proximity was making his head buzz but he wasn’t about to move her. The contact was comforting, clearly for her as well as about an hour or so into the film- the first in the Lord of The Rings trilogy- he felt her head growing heavy. He glanced down and saw that her eyes were closed and as he watched her head slipped slightly. He shifted so that he could catch her gently, and grabbed a cushion from behind him. He placed it against his leg and manouvered her head so that she was lay down, gently brushing her hair off her face. She stirred slightly, snuggling down further into the cushion as he absentmindedly rubbed between her shoulder blades as her breathing grew gentle and even.

Steve stayed like that, engrossed in the film right to the end, surprisingly. He had enjoyed it. Katie hadn’t woken up, and he looked down debating whether or not to wake her or simply carry her through to her bedroom. Pondering for a moment, he decided to do neither, reaching for the remote as he sifted through to find something else to watch. He didn’t want to leave just yet, he was too comfy and too at ease. Picking one of his favourites, Casablanca, he settled down, getting himself comfy as he immersed himself in the familiar world of Rick’s Café Americain. At one point he felt his eyes growing heavy and he lay his head back, deciding to rest them for just a little while…

Cold air was blasting his hair back…there was a hole in the side of the train…then a flash of light and Bucky flew straight through the hole. “BUCKY…” he yelled, grabbing onto the side of the train, the bar in one hand as he stretched to reach his friend with the other.

“Steve…” The voice was louder, but not loud enough. No, he had to get to Bucky…

But he was gone, Steve was grasping at nothing but air.

“Steve…” Katie was doing her best to wake him from his obvious nightmare after he had jolted her awake, thrashing in his sleep. She placed both her hands on his shoulder and shook him. Softly at first, then a bit stronger, trying to shake him out of his sleep. His face contorted into a silent scream and then he jerked awake, his eyes wide, breathing deeply. It took him a while but he suddenly realised where he was and whose eyes were looking at him he took a shaky breath and lay his head back.

Damned it, he’d fallen asleep and had a nightmare. On her sofa.

“Shit…sorry…” he said, his voice croaky “I err…”

“Don’t apologise, it’s fine.” Katie said, gently “I’ll get you a glass of water.”

Whilst she was gone he leaned forward, swinging his legs off the couch so his feet touched the floor, wiping his clammy head with his hands.

“Thanks…” he said as she handed him the glass. He took a large gulp, his breathing returning to normal.

“You ok?” she asked, kindly as her hand gently knotted into his, her concern evident.

“Yeah, just a nightmare…” he said softly “I’ve not had one for a while.”

“Understandable with what’s happened.” she said softly “What was it about?”

“It was…just Bucky.” he said shaking his head, “I saw him fall…”

“You know you can talk to me about it Stevie.” she said softly “It might help.”

“They’re always the same.” he said, shaking his head, swallowing thickly “I either replay him falling or me going into the ice…”

She didn’t speak, simply waited for him to continue and for a moment she though he wasn’t going to, but then after a sigh he leaned forward and placed the glass on the table and ran his hands over his face again.

“It was a Hydra train,” he started, “We had a tip that Zola, a Hydra scientist was traveling somewhere and thought that it was our chance to capture him. One step closer to taking down Hydra. There was a blast from one of their weapons and it bounced off my shield and blew open the side of the train car and Bucky was thrown out.” he blinked, swallowing  “He grabbed onto a bar and it wasn’t stable, and he fell.”

Katie stayed silent for a moment before her hand curled round his shoulder and she pulled him to her, causing him to lay his head on her shoulder. “You know it wasn’t your fault.”

“I should have done more” he said softly. The guilt ate him up every day, that he had survived, why had he deserved that any more than Bucy?

“How?” she said again. “How could you have done anymore?”

"I should have gone after him.” he said quietly.

“What would’ve changed if you had?” Katie asked “There’s no way he could have survived that fall.”

“He wouldn’t have been there if it wasn’t for me.“ he said softly, "I should have gone after him, brought him home, done something.”

Katie remained quiet, her hand gently running through his hair which was nice, far too nice. He took a deep breath and sat up moving away from her touch.

"What time is it?” he asked, clearing his throat.

“Nearly six in the morning” Katie replied

“You’re kidding?” Steve snorted.

“Nope. You want some coffee?” she asked, standing up.

“Yeah if that’s ok…” he replied, following her to the kitchen. From her body language he could tell she was rolling her eyes, even if she wasn’t facing him.

“I don’t know if your Ma ever told you, but it’s rude to run out on a girl after you spend the night with her.”

“And as you know, I’m useless with women.” he said, as he sat down at the barstool on the breakfast bar. He watched her, but he didn’t say anything. She bustled about, throwing some bread in the toaster and went to the fridge for the butter, marmalade and jam, sliding them onto the island. At that point Steve held his hands up.

“You don’t have to-” he started to say, but she silenced him with a glare, similar to the ones Peggy used to give him, the look that could stop him in his tracks it was that stern.

“Shut up.” she said, pouring them both a cup of the coffee before adding milk and a spoon of sugar to both, passing one to him. The bread popped up from the toaster, and she put it on a plate before handing it to him and adding more bread to the machine.

His stomach rumbled and he gave in, smearing butter over his toast. He eyed the jam curiously. He’d had marmalade before but…he looked at Katie and she nodded. “It’s good…”

So he added some, and after a bite he concluded she was right, and nodded in agreement. Once the next round of toast was done she sat next to him.

“So…when did I fall asleep.” she asked, swallowing her food.

“About an hour into the film.” he said, taking another bite of his toast.

She shook her head “What an ass…”

“It wasn’t a problem.” He replied honestly with a shrug, chewing his breakfast “to be honest I enjoyed it.”

She looked at him “What, me drooling on your leg?”

He swallowed, his eyes wide “I meant the film.”

“I know…” she smirked, and he rolled his eyes before he smiled softly.

“Punk…”

Tags @the-omni-princess

[magicalbuffalotransformerman]

BC: oh shit, are those the new members?

MB: hell yeah. you've gotta give them a speech though. someone paid us 100k shanix for one.

BC: pfft, a speech? naw, man, i ain't good at giving speeches. why?

MB: well, 100k shanix, and you're the leader. duh.

BC: ...well, alright. i still don't want to.

MB: well, boney. one of them, specifically, would love for you to give you a speech.

BC: uhh. [spots rocketjumper] wh- uh, which one?

MB: either doomback or rocketjumper. i'd bet they'll all enjoy it anyway.

BC: man... alrighty. i'm mentally prepared.

[at this point, marrowbomber lands, and opens up the bomb bay doors so that bonecrusher can hop out.]

BC: [magically appears at the little podium infront of the base] hello, everybody. i've been told that y'all want a speech from me to celebrate your arrival in antarctica. is this true?

[Vibemaster]: [raises hand] hell yeah, man! let's have a speech!

[Overpower and Fortslammer]: [having a light nap, leaning on each other]

[Ekranotitan]: [broke his chair due to the sheer weight of his robot mode]

BC: well, okay. [clears throat]

OP, FS: [awaken]

RJ: [appears out of nowhere, halfway under the snow]

BC: [stuttering] mm. sorry. right, uhh... how do i start... well. thank you all for coming here today, i and the team are very glad to have more friends around the place. it gets empty around here sometimes. do any of you have any questions about me, or the team? well, of course, besides overhaul and fortslammer, as if i recall correctly, you two are brothers of overhaul and bunkerbuster, correct?

FS: yeah, i've got one. did you enjoy his dick?

BC: [holds head in hands] ...yep. that question was a bit blunt, though.

FS: sorry, man. i had to know.

RJ: i've got a question.

BC: yo. what's up, ma'am?

RJ: i noticed that anytime you looked over my way, that you stutter more than a broken engine. is there any reason why you do?

BC: well, uh... d'- hmm. eh. uh. y'uhh. [stuttering that can't be subtitled]

RJ: [smol chuckle]

BC: ghk-uh. well, you're uh... y-you're the second official female robot th-that's decided to willingly be a part of the b-bone gang, and... [grips own face]

[the audience]: [politely waiting]

BC: ...well, you're... you're re-uh... very hot. i d-dunno how else i'll be able to word it so that i stop stuttering.

RJ: [large chuckle] well, i'm glad to hear that you find me appealing, mr. bonecrusher, sir.

BC: [enters the fabled Tomato Mode™] d-d-j-mmmmm. any more questions?

ET: [staring at MB] [in slightly muffled speech] that's one tasty hunk of metal, there. what're the horny policies in this place?

BC: uhh, anytime you want to fuck someone, get consent and go somewhere away from groundrumbler or else he'll bitch at you for days on end.

GR: [from inside the base] I DO NOT!

BC: [smashes the window GR was in] YES YOU DO, YOU LITTLE FUCKING IMP.

GR: ...oh good lord above. please don't hurt me right after your trip to the amazon.

BC: DON'T FUCKIN' TEST ME, YOU LITTLE FUCK. [clears throat again, and faces the audience again] sorry about that. is that all of the questions?

[Airstrike]: [timidly raises hand]

BC: yeah, little plane dude with a cloak on?

AS: [mumbling]

BC: absolutely. pick a time and place, i'm down. ...is that everyone?

[silence]

BC: alright. enjoy your time in the base, but be warned, there may be loud noises at times, may they be in the forms of gunfire, moaning, shouting matches, or explosions. i'm gonna beat the shit out of a punching bag, myself. [jumps through broken window] COME HERE, LITTLE MAN.

GR: [stomping away from the big mean claw man] OHGODOHFUCK-

[here's my apology post for not posting enough! hell yeah!]

[erikismybitch]

Waiting In Vain: Chapter 18

Protection

“Would you like to Meet my dad ?”

Erik never thought he would hear that question come from Marley’s mouth but it did . And he was thrown off , knowing exactly what he put her through . Why in the hell would she want to go Down this path .

“He and his wife reached out. My Therapist said I should go...Meet with him maybe unveil some hidden wounds or some shit like that”

“Its whatever you want to do” He told her.

“Then I can decide if I want to explore a relationship with him or let him go completely “

Erik , who was very protective over this girl , didn’t want her to get into this situation. Marley had a pattern of forgiving and being too nice to people who hurt her . He hated that trait , he only wanted her to be that way when it came to him. Erik was confident that he had her best interest . Her knew that if he told her not to go, she might do the opposite. And just in case her father decided to hurt her again, he’d be there to back her up. Or fuck him up.

“Yeah I wanna meet that nigga”

So there they were . In Erik’s car driving through mountains of redwood trees and narrow peaks that made it hard to maneuver through . The altitude was so high that the XM radio only spit a static sound . Just to reach her dads property . This definitely wasn’t where he lived when she was younger . Erik asked her if he was rich “or something” Judging by the private driveways hidden with gates and greenery , this new living situation was a total upgrade .

“This is it” he squinted at the tiny lit up address on the side of the steel gate . It was already open so they didn’t have to buzz the intercom that was door level .

Erik drove down the long brick passage, until he got to the circular driveway . Each brick perfectly placed in between healthy green grass . A slight waterfall in the middle , and surrounding it was a Tesla and a Mercedes . Both license plates saying his & hers. Marley grew sick to her stomach when she read them.

“This man , and his wife living an an estate in the mountains with matching license plates” she said in utter disbelief, but she mumbled . The two of them both met outside of Erik’s car and began to walk up to the huge doors. She took a breath and Erik held the small of her back.

“I swear you just say word and we can leave, I’ll get a hotel and everything” Erik could tell she was becoming upset already . He’d sacrifice though , even if the drive was roughly five hours from where they stayed .

“It’s okay . I can do this”

After Erik knocked obnoxiously hard , what Marley thought to be her Step brother opened the door . He had gotten big since the last time she saw him .

“Hi” He said , he had gaming headphones on his ears, and he walked away in true teenage fashion . Uninterested, and trying to get back to the technology. They both walked in, his sister , Marley’s stepsister was walking past . She smiled , waved and went about her business elsewhere . She was nearly a toddler the last time Marley seen her . Her birthday was the day before Marley’s . She remembered because they were always better than hers.

The lady of the house came into view . She wasn’t as dashing as she used to be. It amazed Marley that her father was clearly still smitten by this woman. Marley didn’t know if she just aged badly because she had no melanin or if it was karma for her ruining her life . Karen was her fucking name .

Marley hated Karen more than she hated her father . Her therapist told her not to blame Karen for the actions of her father . Marley would argue that if Karen never had come around , her father wouldn’t have left . To her therapists rebuttal, he explained that her father is who he is, no matter who he married . But Marley didn’t care . Karen did it for her .

Erik held her hand still. Karens eyes bright with surprise. Marley didn’t tell them that she would be bringing her boyfriend , but she wouldn’t have came alone ... they should have known that .

“Hi , how have you been ?” Karen asked her. Marley was fake , she smiled and told her that she was doing well. “You look great , you’ve grown into a very pretty girl”

Karen touched her arm and attempted to be chummy . Marley tensed . She felt so ugly growing up in that old house.

“This is Erik” Marley snapped back and introduced him. Karen looked him up and down. Seemingly pleased.

“Cutie” she said in a tone as if he was a toddler. All that was missing was a cheek pinch. Erik nodded and raised his brows when he looked at Marley.

“Hubby’s on a call, he will be out in a second”

Marley fumed At Karen’s Botox filled expression . Her hubby ?

Marley looked around at how nice the inside of the house was . The high ceilings with two crystal chandeliers that towered over the dining room table and the living room center . The table itself was something out of Game of Thrones , large and royal looking . Heavy and expensive. The hardwood floors sparkled like they had just been polished, so clean you probably could eat from it. And It smelled good in there , Karen was preparing dinner . That was something Marley forgot about Karen , she could cook. Whenever Marley was in the mood to come out of her room and eat , it was good.

“I seen pics of your mom , she look way better than her” Erik was able to whisper without anyone hearing , but even if they did . He wouldn’t care .

Marley laughed , but it was shortchanged . She didn’t even want to bring her mom up . In fear that her spirit would be upset that she would even entertain these people . She wondered what kind of haunting her mother had done to her father. She hoped he had nightmares .

Her father had walked into the room with a smile. Erik could literally see that dark cloud of fear hanging over her . She wasn’t ready for this , and he knew it . He wanted to grab her and take her out of there. Marley felt twelve again . Like a shell who couldn’t move . Erik spoke up for her, he introduced himself .

“Christopher” he spoke and shook Eriks hand firmly , he grip wasn’t as tight as Eriks . Which sent him into alert right away . Her dad was light skinned , with a bald head and beady eyes. Much taller than Erik but not a threat at all. He eyed this guy who was with his daughter . Up and down . His fashionable outfit and those stupid expensive shoes that his step son recently begged him for . He thought his hair style was comedy , the kind that dumb young punks get . Back in his day , they would never fly .

“You some kind of artist or something?” Christopher guessed .

“Engineer”

“So you got you a man with some money, huh?”he joked . Before Erik could respond , Marley had built enough confidence to speak to him . Especially before he offended Erik too much. Christopher nudged Marley in her shoulder like they were old friends .

“H-hi dad” she spoke softly . She didn’t even think he heard her, until he gave her an uneasy side hug .

“Hun, the phone!” Karen came from another room holding his cell phone, Christopher excused himself and took the call.

“Marley, how about a tour?” Karen suggested , as if that would make her feel more at “home” . “I guess” slipped from her lips as she drifted away from Erik . She felt cold now , but he grabbed her arm before she walked away . Pulling her against him, he kissed her quickly . Then she was off to trail along side Karen. Who already seemed to be chatting enough for his liking .

“Aye dude , you play FIFA?”

Marley’s step brother asked from the living room . He was sitting on the plush couch , facing the Tv that was so big , it could be a projector . Nobody else was there but the two of them. “I do”

Erik ended up playing a game with the boy, getting his ass kicked by the teenager who had nothing better to do. Every game system was at hand , he had everything . “Erik right ?” He asked , right before blocking the op team from scoring .

“Yeah , didn’t catch your name though”

“It’s Simon”

“Aight Simon, you too good at this shit... you got 2K?”

Simon nearly rejoiced at Erik’s question . Within seconds he ended the game and switched it to 2K. “Glad I can play this with someone because my dad is trash” he admitted . Erik was taken back

“Yo’ dad ?” He screwed up his face.

“Only dad I ever knew”

-

Heather took Marley on a tour of the house . The outside did no justice . It was even bigger behind the doors . She toured the guest rooms, the chefs kitchen , their family rec room, their home gym and now Karen’s daughters room .

It almost brought tears to Marley’s eyes . It was everything she would have wanted as a young girl . The walls were covered in pink sparkly wall paper . She had a small white vanity filled with jewelry and makeup . In the center of the room was a huge gold canopy bed with white tulle draped over the top . A room fit for a princess . “Oh my god” Marley mouthed to herself .

“ If it’s worth anything” Karen started to speak , her skinny hand touching Marley back made her feel awkward. “I didn’t want to to go stay with your aunt”

Marley let go of a loud breath , almost like a cough. She didn’t expect this to be a topic . “That lady... is your friend” Her words cut through Karen

“I-.” She stuttered “I really didn’t want to send you . But it was out of my hands” Karen blamed her father.

“You have no idea , at all about what happened to me there” Marley turned to her quickly , her eyes were watering. Before she knew it , a tear fell down her cheek . She was pissed that she even gave Karen the satisfaction of seeing her upset . In her eyes, she was just as guilty as her father . Marley walked away , not exactly knowing where to go . She just wanted to be away from all of them .

-

“So how was it around here, when Marley lived with y’all?” Erik decided to dig, since Simon took to him quickly. He knew he could get the kid to talk .

“We didn’t live her , we moved here after she left”

“You were young , you probably don’t remember much , huh?” Erik kept going .

“Not as young as my sister . I remember her being really quiet . We stayed out of her way, dad told us too . Then one day she was gone . I thought she was dead until my dad needed a kidney”

Erik stopped himself from tossing the game controller . He didn’t want Simon to sense anger , in fear that he would stop spilling the beans. So he pretended not to be bothered . “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah ,they have the same blood type or something , that’s why they asked her here . To ask her”

Erik spotted Marley outside in the backyard . He excused himself from the game . He walked to the French doors and opened them . As he was about to tell her the real reason her father invited her, Erik noticed her face . She had been crying . He knew she shouldn’t have come . Before he could get a word in, Marley began to speak . Telling him about thought fake apology from Karen. And how she tried to blame everything on her father , like she didn’t play a key role in her outcome.

“Erik they have a pool , look at how these kids grew up . They aren’t even his kids” her voice cracked , Erik grew angrier by the minute .

“I slept in a basement , a fucking basement . Like, why didn’t everybody hate me? I was just a kid”

Erik saw her dad inside now . He told her to hold tight and get some air , he would be back for her .

Erik went inside and made sure to shut the door. He caught Christopher in the living room, mid sentence when talking to his son. “So you abandon your daughter , steal from her and then bring her here to save you, my nigga ?”

“Excuse me ?” Christopher glared at Erik, then back at Simon.

“You tryna’ Get her kidney right , that’s why she here?” Erik was jumpy , he slammed his closed fist into his open hand . He lunged toward Chris .

Simon paused his game and rushed to his room . Christopher would deal with him later .

“This ain’t got shit to do with you”

“Nah, Marley is my business”. He pointed to her sitting beside the pool , she didn’t have a clue about what was goin on between the two of them

“You may not care , but that’s what you missed out on . She’s special , she’s smart , she’s funny, and she matters to me . And everyday I see this fucking sadness in her and I couldn’t figure out why . But now I know it’s because of you . You fucked her up , but I’m here now, and I’m changing that”

Christopher stood up , he was taller than Erik but he had knocked down bigger and younger . Erik would kill him, without thinking or feeling remorse . He looked him dead in the eye, Christopher looked to the French doors and softened . Marley had come in.

“Don’t call her no’ more” he said in this tone, that only the two of them could understand .

“What’s going on?” She came towards the duo .

“Marley lets go” Erik didn’t shout but he didn’t have to. He couldn’t hit him, or beat his ass like he wanted to . He would have to tell Marley the reason and he wanted to spare her.

She didn’t argue, Erik was her man and meant more to her than anyone in that house . She grabbed her purse off the table and took his hand . They left , leaning the door open behind them. Erik drove off as soon as they fastened their seatbelts . Marley cried , she just sat in her seat and cried on the journey home . About twenty minutes in, Erik reached over and grabbed her chin. He leaned her over and kissed her a few times to calm her down . “Chill out, try to stop crying aight ?”

Marley took a deep breath and nodded her head . Erik decided that he would never tell her about the Kidney. That was something he’d take to the grave .

[justalittlelitnerd]

Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston

Alex Claremont-Diaz thought everything was clear in his life. He’s the first son of the first woman president of the United States. He’s a soon to be graduate with a future in politics. He’s the brother of June, best friend of Nora, and long standing rival of Henry, the Prince of Wales. But when one of their arguments takes a turn for the worse (taking an disturbingly expensive cake down with them) their teams decide it’s time to stage an intervention. And so begins what’s supposed to be a photo-op, a fake friendship to appease the public and smooth over any ruffled feathers, but soon Alex finds himself wanting to see Henry on his own terms. One spontaneous, somewhat intoxicated kiss and identity crisis later Alex finds himself falling into bed with Henry. It’s supposed to be casual, physical, no-strings attached fun, but all too soon it becomes more than that. It becomes something worth risking their futures for. 

My first thought about this book beyond I would die to protect Alex and Henry’s softboi love at all costs is that it is too fucking long. I would say the book needed to be at least 100 pages shorter than it ended up being and I’m surprised that it made it through to print at the length it is. That isn’t to say that I didn’t enjoy the writing or the sheer amount of detail provided, but it slowed down the pace and made it harder to stay engaged with for a significant period of time. It also made the ending feel slightly rushed in comparison to the rest of the novel. 

That being said I loved this book even more than I thought I would and almost immediately bought my own copy on Kindle (I borrowed my roommate’s copy for this read) because I knew I would want to read it again in the future. It’s probably the perfect read for 2020 especially right now in quarantine because while this election doesn’t offer the chance for a woman for president this novel offers a hopeful outlook. It’s the AU to end all AUs (in regard to the current political landscape at least) in that it didn’t feel farfetched. It felt like something within our grasp (fingers crossed for 2024 even though that doesn’t sound like a real year) and it made for a nice escape from these uncertain times.  

Finally, the moment when Alex gets Henry on the phone for the first time after the scandal breaks and just says Sweetheart broke me, I will never be the same. I could feel the rawness and the love in just the one word and that is so rare and difficult to achieve in a book. 

Keep reading for some of my favorite quotes (note there are less because I was reading a physical copy for once and it takes more effort to mark fave quotes)!

Quotes:

“What I want to be prepared for my first ever royal wedding.” “You went to prom, didn’t you? Just picture that, only in hell, and you ahve to be really nice about it.”

“Listen, royal weddings are trash, the princes who have royal weddings are trash, the imperialism that allows princes to exist at all is trash. It’s trash turtles all the way down.”

“Risk assessment: FSOTUS failing to check himself before he wrecks himself will result in greater than five hundred civilian casualties. Ninety-eight percent probability of Prince Henry looking like a total dreamboat. Seventy-eight percent probability of Alex getting himself banned from the United Kingdom forever.”

“Sugar, I cannot express to you how much the press does not give a fuck about who started what. As your mother, I can appreciate that maybe this isn’t your fault, but as the president, all I want is to have the CIA fake your death and ride the dead-kid sympathy into a second term.” 

June and Nora are ignoring him, caught in the bubble of intimacy he can never quite penetrate. Their relationship is something enormous and incomprehensible to most people including Alex on occasion. He knows them both down to their split ends and nasty habits, but there’s a strange girl bond between them he can’t, and knows he isn’t supposed to, translate.

“I always liked Luke [Skywalker]. He’s brave and good, and he’s the strongest Jedi of them all. I think Luke is proof that it doesn’t matter where yo ucome from or who your family is -- you can always be great if you’re true to yourself.”

“Doing what we do is fucking hard. But it’s harder for me. I’m the son of the first female president. And I’m not white like she is, can’t even pass for it. People will always come down harder on me. And you’re, you know, you, and you were born into all of this, and everyone thinks you’re basically Prince fucking Charming. You’re basically a living reminder I’ll always be compared to someone else, no matter what I do, even if I work twice as hard.”

“Henry’s willingness to dance is directly proportionate to his proximity to Alex’s hands, and the amount of giddy warmth bubbling under Alex’s skin is directly proportionate to the cut of Henry’s mouth when he watches him with Nora. It’s an equation he is not nearly sober enough to parse.”

“Henry’s whole face grimaces in frustration, his eyes casting skyward like they’re searching for help from an uncaring universe. “Christ, you are as thick as it gets,” he says, and he grabs Alex’s face in both hands and kisses him. Alex is frozen, registering the press of Henry’s lips and the wool cuffs of his coat grazing his jaw. The world fuzzes out into static, and his brain is swimming hard to keep up, adding up the equation of teenage grudges and wedding cakes and two a.m. texts and not understanding the variable that got him here, except it’s...well, surprisingly, he really doesn’t mind. Like, at all. In his head, he tries to cobble a list together in a panic, gets as far as, One, Henry’s lips are soft, and short-circuits. He tests leaning into the kiss and is rewarded by Henry’s mouth sliding and opening against his, Henry’s tongue brushing against his, which is, wow. It’s nothing like kissing Nora earlier--nothing like kissing anyone he’s ever kissed in his life. It feels as steady and huge as the ground under their feet, as encompassing of every part of him, as likely to knock the wind out of his lungs. One of Henry’s hands pushes into his hair and grabs it at the roots at the back of his head, and he hears himself make a sound that breaks the breathless silence, and--”

If Alex’s head is a storm, Henry is the place lightning hits ground.

If Henry's voice on the phone was a tether, his body is the gravity that makes it possible, his hand gripping the back of Alex’s neck a magnetic force, a permanent compass north.

Alex grew up with a mother who was a sometimes baffling combination of intensely organized and committed to lines of emotional communication, like an overly invested life coach. When he got his first girlfriend, she made a powerpoint presentation.

[lynneshobbydomain]

Date Night (OwaMiki 2020 Day 3)

Prompt: Date/Kiss

Rating: T 

Summary: It’s always nerve wracking on the first date, but surely something good will come out of it.

You read under the cut or at my AO3

Mondo was leaning against his motorcycle as he waited for Mikan to come out of the girl’s dormitory, his heart thumping wildly in his chest. He wasn’t sure what he was doing, he wasn’t sure if she was going to appreciate this...he honestly hadn’t expected to get as far as he did. Of course asking her out had been a disaster, and he forgot that she had been a victim of a different kind of yelling. Of course, it ended it tears, misunderstandings, and a belief that it was never going to happen. He was just shocked when she approached him with her phone number and told him that it would be easier. It had been. She didn’t stammar so much and was easy to read, and she couldn’t tell if he was yelling or not. It didn’t mean that they didn’t call each other. The call log was full of their conversations. He would get excited and his voice would be loud, and she was quiet and forced him to strain his ears to understand what she was saying. They learned. They figured it out...and now he was leaning against his ride, trying to breathe normally as he waited anxiously for his woman to show up.

How long did it even fucking take to put on a dress? Mondo wasn’t about to rush her. She was probably in much of a panic as he was standing outside her dormitory. He wasn’t willing to fuck this up. He wasn’t willing to make this night turn into another disaster. He was just about to see if she was still taking her time or if she forgot when he heard the door creak open and he looked up.

God she cleaned up nice. That lacy pink dress was form fitting, showing just enough of her chest to get an idea. She didn’t wear heels, which was a huge sigh of relief. Her hair was pulled back in a half ponytail and had uneven curls. Someone must have done her make up, they only did a little bit with making her lips pinker than usual and lined the eyes. She grinned at him and rushed towards him. Mondo, already foreseeing what was going to happen, jogged towards her and caught her just before she tripped. “Hey babe.” He grinned as he steadied her. “You look sharp.”

“Hahah. Th-thank you. Yo-you look go-good too.” He was wearing the Crazy Diamond’s jacket, but he decided to wear something underneath rather than nothing. He wanted to be able to take the jacket off and still look like a king. She peered over his shoulder and she went still as a toothpick. “We’re riding?”

“Yeah! It’ll be fun! Trust me.” Mondo grinned, gently wrapping his arm around her. Don’t fuck up, don’t fuck up, he chanted in his mind as he guided her over towards the ride. It was one of his favorites. The Kawasaki was custom made to his tastes, and Kazuichi didn’t seem to mind fixing it up for him from time to time he thought of an new idea. The dark sleek paint reflected the lights around the courtyard like stars in the night sky. He couldn’t wait for her to see what those lights could look like underneath blue and red.

Not that he planned on getting caught with her. That’d ruin the date and his pride. But he could at least show it to her through the neon of the city.

Nice save.

“M-maybe I should’ve wo-worn pants or som-something?” Mikan mused. “I didn’t th-think.”

“You’re fine babe.” Mondo assured. “You look good and we ain’t goin’ do anything crazy, alright? Breathe. Nothin’s gonna happen.”

She grinned, a pretty pink on her cheeks and Mondo felt his own cheeks burn in response. Her smile was always the one thing that could freeze and melt him all at the same time. “Th-then I’m in your han-hands.” She proclaimed and he helped her onto the back of his bike. “Do I, do I need to know anyth-anything special?”

“Lean the direction I’m leaning but don’t do it too much.” Mondo instructed. “Just balance with me.” He normally didn’t ride with a helmet on, but with his girl on the back there was just no way he was going to take a chance. He went into the back of the bike and popped the small storage unit to take out the helmet. He shoved it onto her, making her squeak and he adjusted it so that it would stay snug against her. “Sorry for ruining your hair.”

“It-it’s ju-just hair.” Mikan protested. “I’ll be f-fine. Sh-shouldn’t y-you be wearing this th-though?”

“Nah.” Mondo grinned at her, “I’m not the Ultimate Biker Gang Leader for nothing! Let’s go!” He tossed his leg over the side of the bike and grinned as Mikan immediately wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing herself tight against him for balance and security. He revved the bike up and without another word, zoomed off into the night.

X

The date went as smooth as butter, in Mondo’s mind. He wasn’t willing to spend money on anything extravagant, and Mikan didn’t mind going to some of his favorite places either. She was more than willing to hold his hand or his arm, and he made sure to keep it open and free for her to claim so that she would at least have something to cling to if she was going to fall. The conversation was easy too. All in all, Mondo had a very good feeling about this. 

He parked the bike up against the railing of the bridge. No one was heading anywhere, and the view was fantastic. They were able to see the city and the lights, and watch them glitter on the river’s running current. The breeze picked up and a couple of strands brushed against Mikan’s face, framing her cheeks and catching the light from the streetlamps. 

For just one moment, Mondo truly thought he was staring at an angel of sorts. He never thought he’d see a girl look good like this. There was just...something about this scene and this moment he swore brought something out of her that he didn’t see in the school or at the restaurant.

She was really, truly good looking.

“Yo-you kn-know I woul-wouldn’t min-mind meeting your friends one day.” Mikan spoke after a moment. Mondo had to strain to hear her through the river rolling underneath them. “You se-seem to be a very good le-leader.” She beamed at him. “Yo-you take a lot of responsibility. It’s not e-easy.” 

“I don’t mind it.” Mondo shrugged as he wrapped his arms around the railing and leaned forward. He glanced at her again and she kept that smile on her face. She looked peaceful. Relaxed. She wasn’t stressed out and timid like she was during school. “I’m sure as hell they wouldn’t mind meeting you.” Considering how often they ribbed him about having a crush on the girl, he didn’t doubt it. Not once.

Mikan giggled and she brought her hands together in front of her chest, pleased as punch. “We sh-should do this again.” She said after a moment. “I didn’t th-think I would li-like riding so much. Yo-you made it a lot of f-fun!”

“Really?!” Mondo perked up a little as he pushed himself back up to standing. “Sweet! There’s so many places where I can take ya then! There’s a few places that I know that are just kickin.”

“Th-then we have a date.” Mikan grinned at him. “Ho-how did you ge-get into riding anyway? If! If I can ask!”

Mondo’s good cheer damped slightly, but if she was going to be his girl then there was no point in lying. He went back to leaning against the railing, trying to think on how to word. “My brother Daiya got me into it. The Crazy Diamonds were his first. He had a good head on his shoulders. He was faster than me. Stronger than me. I admired him. He was a fucking luantic though sometimes. The things he could do on the bike...I can only dream of doin’ now.”

“I-I’m sorry.” He felt a light touch on his shoulder and he glanced up to see that Mikan approached him on her own. Her hand gently rested on his shoulder, and her other hand was gripping her chest like she was trying to keep her heart inside. Was she nervous? About being so close to him, or was she just...trying not to panic and wonder if she had said something wrong? “Yo-you seemed sad.”

“Yeah. It’s hard to talk about. It doesn’t matter now. Bro’s dead and gone...and….now it’s up to me to make sure our gang still holds together. It’s been a damn good blast. Nothin’s gonna change that. Not graduation, not nothin’.” Mondo assured as he stood up. “I was talkin’ to Makoto the other day about what I’d do after graduation. Most of the gang’s gonna be outta high school then. We all got things we gotta worry about. The fuckin’ future and shit. You know. The stupid things.”

“Is it really that stu-stupid?” Mikan questioned and Mondo looked at her curiously. “Priorities ch-change yes. Bu-but that doesn’t mean you sho-should give up what ma-makes you happy. The-there are probably still y-younger kids tha-that’ll want to be ap-part of your gang.”

Mondo blinked slowly.

“Yo-you can hold a jo-job and st-still have fun!” Mikan continued. “D-do something fo-for a job an-and do the bik-bikes at ni-night or something. Yo-you can-can’t live on just a j-job alone. It’s not mentally healthy and you’re going to get physically sick if you only focus on one aspect of your life. There’s a reason why hobbies are such an important thing to those in the hospital and for people outside of it.”

“That wouldn’t bother you?” Mondo asked firmly as he turned his attention completely onto her. She gasped a little and stepped back. “Me doin’ my bikes and holdin’ down a job? That wouldn’t bother you?”

“N-no.” Mikan looked a little confused, but she was sincere in her stance. “I-I think that you should do what makes you ha-happiest.” She nodded after a moment. “I do medicine as a job y-yes, but I do ot-other things too. One p-part of you shouldn’t de-define the whole you. Hajime-kun ta-taught me that when I was s-starting Hope’s Peak. I was….I was so much wo-worse than I am n-now. I was so s-scared of other people’s op-opinons of me. I sti-still am! But...I’m ge-getting better.”

Mondo remembered when he saw her trip in the courtyard during lunch. How she fell and her friends didn’t bat an eye at her misery. How she didn’t mind the mockery or the teasing. She was still friends with them, oddly enough. Mondo doubted he understand their dynamic completely, but he trusted Mikan with her own decisions and friendships. He just had to be there for her when things went south as they sometimes did.

“I got real lucky with you.” Mondo concluded, and Mikan blinked. “Most girls wouldn’ want their man out ridin’. Too dangerous and it’s easy to get yourself fucked up if you ain’t careful.”

“W-well…” Mikan trailed off. “If you got h-hurt somehow...I’ll be able to tr-treat you.”

“Seriously?! You’d do that? Mikan you’re a doll ya know that?!”

“Hahaha I’m not do-doing anything spec-special!” Mikan laughed, a little nervously but Mondo pulled her into a tight embrace anyway.

“Nah, you’re pretty fuckin’ special.” Mondo disagreed as he let her go. She had such a pretty smell. Floral of some type. It wasn’t sickly sweet or overly strong either. He wondered if it was perfume or her own natural scent. She smiled up at him and for one moment the world just stopped turning. The conversation no longer really mattered.

She was….

Really pretty. She had a good heart. She was caring, compassionate. She wanted to support and he wanted to support her. He cupped her cheek with his hand and allowed the moment to push him forward. To kiss her like he should’ve done when he saw her underneath the street lights the first time. 

She didn’t pull away frightened or shocked. She pulled herself into the kiss too, as though she was also underneath the night’s spell. When they pulled away, Mondo felt like there was something new just right there. His heart never raced so fast since a bike race or a good ride. “Let’s get ya back.” Mondo said softly.

“Okay.” Mikan grinned at him and he reveled in the feeling of her arms wrapping around his waist again, holding him close. But this time, Mondo swore there was something different in the grip and the way she leaned against him. It made his heart burst into his chest.

Yeah. He gripped the handlebars tight. This was much better than any fuckin’ race.