#yn feeds on him regularly | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bts-reveries · 3 years ago

Text

expect the unexpected | 24

TW: Mentions of death & miscarriage

italicize = flashbacks

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

“What happened?” Rina asks, running to Jin who’s pacing back and forth in the waiting room. Sian and Jungkook were running behind her.

“I don’t know, Minseok found her unconscious in our room,” he says, running his fingers through his hair.

“Is the baby okay?” Jungkook asks him, in a low voice. Rina looks at him with wide eyes.

“Baby?” She asks, turning to Jin.

“The kids don't know about it yet, but yeah. She’s pregnant. Which is why I’m freaking out right now,” Jin says, staring down the hallway where the doctor went.

Jungkook turns to where the kids were sitting, Minseok and Soojin were just sitting on the waiting room chairs, watching videos on Jin’s phone. Haneul was resuming his nap on the chairs next to them.

“It’s going to be okay hyung,” Jungkook says, putting a hand on Jin’s shoulder. “By the way, Yoongi hyung, Hobi hyung, and Jimin hyung will be here. They’re worried too. The others aren’t able to come but told me to let you know that they’ll be here when they can.”

“Thanks Jungkook. Hopefully the doctor comes soon and gives us good news. We may have to stay overnight.” Rina and Jungkook nod. Sian plays with his hand and looks up at Jin, wondering what was going on.

“If anything, one of us will take the kids home. They can stay over our place if they want,” Rina says, looking back at the kids. “Unless they want to go to Taehyung’s or something, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind either.”

“Okay, thank you,” Jin says, turning to the kids. “We can ask them about it later.”

“Mr. Kim?” Jin hears, his heart suddenly stops, turning to the doctor that was walking up to him.

“Yes?” Jin says, although unable to move his feet to walk towards the man. “I-is everything okay? Is my wife okay? What- what about the baby?” Jin says, speaking quickly. “She’s had a miscarriage before a-and--”

“Mr. Kim, don’t worry, everything is okay. Your wife and the baby are fine,” The doctor tells him. Jin sighs in relief, although Rina and Jungkook look at him with wide eyes. The mention of Yn having a miscarriage was never brought up before. Neither of them knew about it. “We’re going to have her stay here overnight, to make sure she gets some rest. It looks like she has been stressed the past few days, and also hasn’t been eating much, which we already know is not good for a pregnant woman. So I would suggest you stay here and take care of her. She’ll be able to go home tomorrow.”

“Is everything okay?” Yoongi asks, walking into the room you were in. Hobi and Jimin came right before him.

Jimin furrows his brows, putting his pointer finger to his lips. “Shh.” He points to you asleep on the bed and Yoongi puts his hand over his mouth.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles. He sees Jin asleep on a chair next to you too, he has his head laying on top of his arms, resting on your side of the bed. “What happened?” Yoongi asks the boys. Jungkook was holding Haneul in his arms. He was awake now, but he kept his head resting on his uncle’s shoulder. Rina was on the side, braiding Soojin’s hair, and Hobi brought books and toys for Minseok and Sian to keep themselves entertained with.

“Jin hyung and noona have to stay overnight to make sure Yn gets the rest she needs,” Jimin informs him. “She has been overworking herself, stress built up, and she hasn’t been eating well either so Minseok found her unconscious in her and Jin hyung’s room. They rushed her here and that’s what the doctor told them.”

“The baby is fine though, both Yn and the baby,” Rina adds. “Jin was super worried about both of them, even mentioned a miscarriage that Yn had before.”

“Miscarriage?” Yoongi asks. He didn’t know about it either.

“Apparently she went through one before Haneul. Jin hyung said he’ll fill us in with that later,” Jungkook says. Yoongi nods.

“Okay, will the kids be staying here with them overnight? I think we should bring them home, no?” Yoongi says, looking over the kids.

“Yeah that’s what we were saying, it’s their choice who they want to come with,” Hobi says.

“So, where do you kids want to go?” Yoongi asks them, the three kids look at each other before looking up and saying all at once.

“Home.”

The Next Day

You and Jin stayed at the hospital overnight. You woke up at random times in the evening, your heart beating fast.

“Are you okay?” Jin asks, pushing your hair back. “Do you need anything?”

You shake your head no.

“W-where’s the kids?” You ask, seeing that it was just you and your husband.

“They’re at home with Taehyung, Bora, Jungkook, Rina, and Sian. Don’t worry, they’re okay.” He says, reassuring you.

“W-what about our other baby,” you say, holding onto your stomach. “I couldn’t understand the doctor well when he was talking to me before you got here. I was too tired, I- I--”

“He-- or she--’s okay,” Jin says. “The doctor says you and the baby are fine. Don’t worry.” You nod, relaxing your shoulders and laying back into your pillows.

“I’m sorry, by the way,” Jin starts. “I didn’t mean to react that way when I found out. I was just overwhelmed at the time and you know what happened before, I was just scared. I’m sorry, it’s my fault you’re here right now, I’m sorry.”

But now you’re coming home. The doctor told you not to overwork yourself, to make sure you rest and eat regularly. This is also your fifth pregnancy and it could be risky so they reminded you to be more cautious.

“Everyone’s here,” Jin says, he’s driving up the driveway and into the garage. “Taehyung said everyone came over because they wanted to see you.”

“Oh how sweet,” you say, eager to see everyone. “Do they all know?” Jin nods.

“The boys all know, I’m not sure about the girls. Other than Sarang and Rina.”

“Aw,” you pout. “I wish we could’ve announced it to them in a more special way..” A tear started to fall from your eye and you quickly wiped it away with the back of your hand.

“It’s okay,” Jin says, parking the car. “I don’t think the kids know yet, we could still do it for them. Our kids and all of our nephews and nieces. I’m sure they’ll all be excited.”

“Mommy’s home!” Soojin yells, running up to you.

“Hi princess,” you say, picking her up. “How are you?”

“Umm, the real question is, how are you,” Sohyun says, walking up to you. “Come here,” she says, pulling you into a hug. “I got so sad when I heard you were at the hospital. What happened? Yoongi didn’t tell me much.”

“I’ll explain everything, but let’s get the kids in another room.”

“So you are pregnant!” Byul says, putting her hands over her mouth. Jin had all the kids go into your room. He played a movie for them and they’re all sitting on the bed calmly watching. He made sure the older kids kept watch of the younger ones. Aka Haneul and Mingyu.

“I’m so excited,” Byul says, slapping Namjoon’s leg next to her. “I’m buying her-- him-- it? Whatever-- I’m going baby shopping.”

“Wait, can you tell?” You ask surprised. “I’m not really showing yet.”

“No, well,” Byul tilts her head to the side. “No, because we’re usually in sync, like with our period, and that one time I texted in our group chat how I was dying from my cramps because I was on my period, you didn’t say ‘omg me too!’ like you usually do. And I know you two did the--” She wiggles her eyebrows at you rather than saying the actual word. “-- during your anniversary trip because what else would you two do on a getaway without your kids? Anyways, I connected the dots,” she says pointing to her head.

“I’m sorry, she’s been watching a lot of theory videos on YouTube lately,” Namjoon says.

“Hey, but I was right!” Byul retorted, making you laugh.

“Wait,” Jungkook says. “So let me get this straight, because I’m kind of confused.” You nod your head, telling him to continue. “You two fought about it,” he says. “About the pregnancy when hyung found out. Why? I know Jin hyung told us about it but I was still confused because he said he does want the baby, but then he was stressed out with three kids alone and told noona he only wants three kids and,” Jungkook sighs. “I couldn’t even give him any good advice because I was confused!”

“He watched TedTalks to prepare for the moment,” Rina says. “Then came home saying he didn’t know what to say.”

Jin sighs, scratching the back of his neck.

“It’s a lot,” he says.

“Well the movie the kids are watching is almost two hours long,” Yoongi says. “We got time.”

“Okay.” Jin says, about to start. “So before Haneul, we obviously only had two kids right? Well Yn and I wanted to try for our third baby and honestly, I was already so scared for that one because...” Jin was leaning over, his elbows on his legs as he sat next to you on the couch. He looked over at Namjoon before he continued. “Well, luckily we were able to get pregnant right away and we were both happy, but we had to wait before we told you all about it-- well the ones that were already with us. Umm.. I’m sorry I have to mention this,” he says, looking at Namjoon. Namjoon caught on to what Jin was trying to say and he nodded at him, letting him continue. “Well we got pregnant a month before Moonji was due. We wanted to wait until after she was born to announce to you all because we wanted to wait the three month mark before announcing to everyone that we were happily expecting.

But then, Moonji was born a little earlier than expected. Of course we were happy for our friends, but when we found out that Eunji passed away during the birth, I was terrified.” Jin looks down at his hands. “I never told this to Yn until last night when we were alone at the hospital, but we were the next couple to have a baby after Eunji’s death and I don’t know… I was just really scared. No one wants that to happen to their significant other, I was scared something might happen like that with Yn but then we lost the baby instead.”

The two of you were with the rest of your other friends in Namjoon’s house, helping him pack up Eunji’s things. It was a sad time. Meanwhile, you were in Moonji’s nursery, feeding her with a bottle as you sat on the chair you and Jin gifted Eunji on her baby shower.

You hummed to little Moonji as she was starting to fall asleep with the bottle. You were still pregnant at this time, you were a lot more sensitive than usual and you just started crying.

Eunji was a close friend of yours, you never expected her to be gone so soon. No one did. But the thought of her leaving right when her daughter entered the world hurt you even more. It’s something no one ever wants to happen for… well.. anyone. You were actually scared as well, you were currently pregnant and you didn’t want what happened to your friend to happen to you. You didn’t want these thoughts but yet they were there, circling around your head.

If anything were to happen, you’d leave two of your babies behind. Even a new one that you’ll never meet.

And of course, Jin.

You’ve watched how Namjoon is now that it’s just him and his daughter. It’s obviously a lot different. He never imagined this to happen, but it did. You can tell he’s trying his best to be happy.

But you know it’s hard for him.

You only began to wonder if Jin is worried too. Considering if anything happened, it would be him and the three kids.

“Are you two okay?” Namjoon asks, peeking into the room. He had a smile on his face. Quickly, you wiped the tears away.

“Yeah,” you say, your voice wavering. “We’re okay.”

“Uncle Taetae come home with us pwease,” Soojin says, pulling on Taehyung’s hand. You all just finished helping out Namjoon with Eunji’s things.

“I am coming,” Taehyung says. You asked him previously if he could help out with a client. The client was looking for unique paintings to decorate her living room but couldn’t find the perfect one. Of course you recommended your artist friend, none other than Kim Taehyung himself. “Imma help mommy with work stuff, so I’ll be at your house.”

“Yay!” Soojin yells happily.

As you five headed to the car, you started feeling a bit sick.

“Are you feeling okay?” your husband asks you when you two got seated in front. “You don’t look so good.”

You shake your head. “My stomach is hurting,” you say. Jin’s heart skipped a beat.

“Where? Where’s it hurting?” He asks, putting his hand on your stomach. Taehyung furrows his brows as he watches you two.

“Lower,” you say, moving his hand down to your lower stomach. “Here.”

“Is everything okay?” Taehyung asks from the back seat.

“Are you sure you don’t just have to go to the bathroom?” Jin asks.

“I- I don’t know,” you say.

“Well while we’re still here at Namjoon’s, why don’t you go to the bathroom first? I’ll come with,” Jin says.

“Okay,” you say, stepping out of the car.

“Where are you going!” Minseok asks, watching you and Jin walk out of the van.

“Mommy’s not feeling well,” Jin says, running to the other side to help you. His eyes widen when he sees red.

“Honey,” Jin says, pointing to her bottom. “There’s blood.”

“I understand why you never told us about it,” Yuna says. It was already a sad time, you two didn’t want to add more to it. Not only that, but you and Jin didn’t like to bring it up. The thought of it hurts your heart even more.

“Yeah, well I wasn’t there,” Bora says. “But I understand, I’m guessing only Taehyung was the one to know then.” She says, putting her hand on Taehyung’s hand.

“Yeah he helped with the kids when we went to the hospital. But, even so, we still wanted to try for another one. You know? Which is why we always say it’s always three, we thought it would end with three considering how hard it was to conceive Haneul. We had a lot of trouble with him,” you say. You glanced over at Sarang who was quiet this whole time.

“It was a hard time, we were scared for the miscarriage to repeat if we were ever to get pregnant again. We worried a lot during that time. It was a confusing time, really,” Jin adds on, looking at you. “It was like… we were scared to get pregnant because of what happened previously and then we were scared that we wouldn’t be able to get pregnant again, you know?”

“So don’t worry too much,” you say, looking at Sarang. “I know you two are working hard to try and conceive but maybe if you stop doing it as if it was a chore… it’ll come when you least expect it.” Sarang smiles softly at you. She nods.

“Expect the unexpected,” Hobi says with a small laugh. “I guess that’s what happened huh.” Jin nods.

“Now and before,” he says. “We didn’t expect Haneul to come. Right when we were about to give up, we found out we were pregnant with him.”

“Is that why you named him Haneul?” Sohyun asks. You and Jin nod. Minseok and Soojin both have names coming from their dad whilst Haneul didn’t. Haneul instead meant sky, your special rainbow baby.

“So what about now?” Jimin asks. “What about this baby?”

You look over at Jin, waiting for his answer. I mean, you already knew.

“So why did you react that way?” you ask Jin, the two of you unable to sleep now. This was at the hospital. It was past midnight and you couldn’t sleep anymore.

“I was scared. Haneul was hard enough. His pregnancy, I mean, you know? I was in that constant state of fear and worry. Thinking if at the end of those nine months if it’ll just be you or if it’ll just be him. After what happened to Eunji, I realized how it can happen to anyone. I didn’t want that to happen to us. Then after we lost our baby, it hurt a lot you know? I know it hurt you more since you’re the mom and you carried that baby inside of you… but I still feel like there’s a piece of my heart that’s missing,” he answers. “I know how hurt we both were after that happened, I was scared it might happen again. It’s too good to be true.

Not only that, but on top of things, I had a really hard week with the kids. I started to think I wasn’t good enough that I couldn’t balance my time with all three of them and work with you gone. But then I found out you were pregnant… The worries and the thoughts flooded my mind that it blocked out any happiness I would’ve felt at that moment. I didn’t want what happened to our baby to happen to this one because I knew how it would be. Even worse, I didn’t want what happened to our friend to happen to us… Not only would I lose you but our three-- four kids would be stuck with their dad who can’t even handle a week without his wife, then what would happen if that was forever?”

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

expect the unexpected

♡ part twenty-four: if anything ♡

pairings: ceo, dad!jin x interior designer, mom!reader

a/n: okay it wasn’t as lengthy as i hoped lol

taglist: @silentlyimpractical @jillianmarie @waddlebby @cecedrake2217 @ddofa @samros95 @sope-and-shine @joonjoonsmiles @codeinebelle @aianloveseven @Chamchamcham @princessjazzyjazz @notvantaes @casspirit0705 @ramyagovindraj @brinnalaine @ephyra1230 @betysotelo18 @thoughtfultaledreamer @salty-for-suga @cosmicdaylight @dreamcatcherjiah @kookoo-kachoo @justinetingball @josierosie @jayhope88 @butterflylion @hobiismyhopeu @momma-said-that-it-was-oke @ygbubs @catspancake @somewhereofftheglobe @strawberryforever25 @rjsmochii @prdshobi @beeeb05 @eatjeanjin @taekookcaneatme @Cheeely14 @kookietsukkie @anpanman-sonyeondan @glitteringcoffeefreak @chocobetterknot @alpaca1612 @ohmy-fandoms @liljooniecutie @Jikachoo @preciouschimine @fan-ati--c @Joondala @httpmuffin @dammit-jjk @jikooksgirl19

TAGLIST IS CLOSED!

to be notified when i post, please turn on my notifications! thank youu~

146 notes · View notes

ciggylungz · 4 years ago

Text

She’s such an actress

Bestfriend!harry grinding on yn while spooning. / bestfriend!harry you guys casually hookup and can’t get enough of each other (smut, smut and more smut)

3.1k words

“stop being a fuckin’ blanket hog!”

Y/n gave Harry a glare as she tugged the fluffy fabric farther up her body. The two best friends were on a month-long holiday with their group of friends in Italy. They’d been there six days already and Y/n was already becoming a bit snippy with Harry because the extra people in the house kept her from being able to fuck her best friend whenever she wanted to. They had a bit of an unconventional friendship, they’ve been friends since they were teens and they’re as close as two friends can be- yet one thing that separates their relationship from the relationships they have with their other friends is well, they like to fuck like rabbits. They had been doing that frequent banging since they were in secondary school, anytime Harry would be back from tour for a while from his one direction days they’d usually spend that time getting absurdly drunk and pleasuring each other.

Not having been able to really touch Harry like she’s used to for the last week, she’s starting to get needy which makes her act moody and on edge. Harry gave the girl a sideways glance, raising his eyebrows as a sort of ‘quit it’ reaction to her behavior only getting a huff from her in return. Harry had been met with this huffy puffy version of his best friend many times, whenever he’d annoy her or she didn’t get her way she’d turn on her snarky side. It didn’t phase him anymore. He of course knew why she was acting like this, but he was a little limited in how he can fix it seeing as they’re in a house with 8 of their closest friends- who would never let them hear the end of it if they got caught and he didn’t want to deal with their prying- so he was aware he’d have to deal with this attitude till he could take care of her properly.

y/n laid herself down on the couch, putting her feet in Harry’s lap under the blanket, prompting him to softly massage them for her to get on her good side at least while they watched a movie with their friends and all had a few beers after a day at the beach. The man absentmindedly ran his thumbs on the arch of her right foot, eyes on the screen as he gave her soothing touches smiling soft when he felt her twitch a little. He knew she was ticklish yet she liked when he’d give her massages, so it was an odd combination of her twitching and giggling while letting out relaxed sighs. He didn’t mind though; she had soft skin and always kept her toes manicured so he had no problem with it. He once tried to get her to do the same for him and she pretended to gag before smacking his feet off her lap which he laughed at.

His gaze averted from the screen down to his own blanket covered lap when he felt her left foot starting to nudge at his sweatpants covered crotch. Harry let out a sigh through his nose, while of course he wanted to fuck her brains out he also didn’t want to get a stiffy while sitting with their friends. Plus, knowing he got the girl so needy even her mood was affected gave him a bit of cocky pride- no pun intended. The man pinched her foot giving her a warming glance whilst shaking his head and pushing her feet from his lap, opting to go grab another beer from the fridge knowing he was driving her up the fucking wall.

Y/n was anything but pleased with his antics, so with a scowl she threw the blanket off herself and declared she was going to go shower and go to bed making sure she gave Harry a good side eye and middle finger as she pasted him in the kitchen which made the man chuckle before doing the same just to piss her off further.

Y/n changed into some sleep shorts and one of Harrys old sweatshirts he gave her years ago, she had been left to make herself cum in the shower since Harry was being a little shit and now she was even more annoyed because even after 2 shower head on clit fueled orgasms she still was dying to touch him, smell him, kiss him anything! She needed to feel his big callused hands on her skin, smell his natural musk and hint of cologne and the mint gum he chewed with a lingering bitterness of beer on the corners of his mouth. She needed her bitch of a best friend to stop starving her of the touches she’s used to getting before she threatens to put out applications for a new best friend. (she never claimed to not be dramatic afterall), even if they couldn’t get away with banging regularly here, she needed something or her head was going to explode.

Laying back on her bed she started thinking about how good he looked at the beach earlier that day. Tanned skin complimenting his tattoos, his thick thighs she loves to kiss, mark with hickeys and hump looking extra inviting covered in a sheen of sea water drying onto him under the hot sun. His back muscles imprinted through his exterior whenever he’d lift one of their friends up to toss into the water or punt a volleyball, she almost drooled at the sight of him playing the sport. And god, she could easily make out the lump of his meat through the pale pink swim shorts he was wearing. Even his soft cock could make her knees weak, she’s proved that many times when she’d ask him if she could kiss his soft length, or proposed cock warming. She had no idea how Harry could control himself enough to stay soft when he let her kiss his cock or cuddle with it inside her, but it made it undoubtably sexier to her. she had a love for his manhood, soft, hard, she didn’t care she loved it in every state. It made her feel like a two-dollar hooker, yet she didn’t care because it was her Harry. Best friends over everything.

She let out a pitiful huff, opting to scroll through her phone as she lounged in bed. In the midst of her falling down the Instagram black hole of soap cutting videos she got a text from the man that’s been driving her insane the last six days.

‘you gonna come finish the movie with us or are you gonna pout like a child?’

The young woman felt her attitude flare back up, sending him a snotty text just to get a reaction out of him, wanting to make him mad like she was- which she knew was proving his point that she was being childish.

‘I’m on tinder finding someone to fuck, finish the movie without me’

When the man read the text he knew what she was doing, and yet it still gave him a little tingle of possessiveness and irritation. Of course, he wanted her just as bad as she wanted him, but he also didn’t feed into her bratty behavior. He knew he was making it worse, and she’d give him a wack to the dick if he kept up his antics yet he took his chances wanting to see how worked up he could actually get the girl.

‘have fun, be safe call someone if you need a ride home’

To say Y/n was shocked to see him respond with that, was accurate. Her mouth went slack slightly and her chest shook a little. She was pissed, needy, and sad that he was acting like he really didn’t care about how she felt. She was sensitive, she knew her period was coming next week so her hormones were causing her sex drive and emotions to skyrocket. In her pissed off state she decided she’d really do it, just to piss him off as much as he did to her. two can play at this game.

When the girl was slipping a skimpy dress over her figure, Harry finally decided to make an appearance. He’d heard an awful lot of thumping and shuffling from her room and decided to investigate yet he was surprised to see her now in a dress that left very little to the imagination. He raised an eyebrow as he loomed in the doorway, his shoulder pressed into it while he casually leaned against the wood using his finger to motion to her body. “What are yeh doin’?”, his question made her meet his glance in the mirror a rather unamused glare coming from her eyes. “I’m going out, told y’ that didn’t i? gon’ go find someone to fuck me.”

Harry met tsked the girl slightly, walking further into the room. “No yer’ not, take that dress off and put your pj’s back on.” The man pointed a finger to her disregarded prior clothing, Y/n of course challenged this with a hand on her hip. “Yes, I am. You’re not in charge of me, I’m an adult.” Harry shrugged, not giving into the temptation to argue. “Never said you weren’t grown, I said yer not goin’ out and you’re gonna put your clothes back on. Now, get to it.” His stare seemed to have some sort of power over her, seeing as Y/n found herself quickly caving and shimmying out of the dress.

Harry took a step into the room, closing the door behind him to give her a bit more privacy incase one of their friends walked by and caught a glimpse of her in the process of changing. The girl gave him a pouty face when she stepped out of the material that now was pooled around her ankles, her tits spilling out of her bra as she stood before him in only her undergarments. He watched her carefully as she switched back into her former outfit and slowly stalked towards him, standing about a foot away from his body before tilting her head up to look at him.

Harry noticed how frustrated she was in a simple glance, a small frown forming on his own face when her waterline became a darker shade of red and tears glossed over her pretty eyes. Damp eyelashes sticking together slightly as she blew out a breath, “You’re being mean t’ me Haz, I don’t like it..” she knew she sounded pathetic but she didn’t care. She was touch and attention starved by her best friend and favorite boy and her period was on it’s way so she had a right to get emotional if she wanted to. Harry pouted at her, opening his arms for her to press herself into him which she did gladly, face smooshed into his chest while her fists bunched up his shirt. “Don’t need to cry, it’s alright bug. Everything is okay, here can cuddle yea? Will that work?” and because Y/n was so desperate at this point, she was willing to compromise for a cuddle.

The pair laid together, Y/n in her little spoon position and Harry behind her as they stared at the television that was playing on the wall. She held his large hand in hers, rings being toyed with by her fingers while she let herself be soothed by the beating of his heart against her back.

Even though Harry was plagued by thoughts of their friends catching them in a compromising position, he couldn’t help but notice his cock plumping up with Y/ns bum pressed into him. He knew it wasn’t like she was being intentionally teasing now, she’d settled for a cuddle because she just needed any touch from him but now- he was becoming the needy one. He decided to keep it subtle, acting as if he was repositioning himself yet angling his hips so his now semi hard cock could grind against the flesh of her ass. Grinding was something they did often, it was one of their favorite sexual acts. Her grinding on his thigh, cock, hips, or tummy. Harry grinding himself on her ass, clothed cunt or sometimes fucking himself with her thighs. Grinding was something they were very much into, and only after a few moments of him jutting his hips into her flesh she turned her head to see him.

“What are you doin’?” the man let out a long sigh, pulling her to roll over to face him by her hip nudging his nose with her being rewarded with a trembling breath blowing out of her lips to fan over his own. “I know you’ve been missin’ me huh? Had to keep m’ hands off yeh, ‘m sorry doll. Never meant to have my girl in tears, look I miss yeh too.” He gently grabbed her hand to migrate towards his swelling crotch letting her cup him through the material her eyes moving to look down at her moving hand, “no no, doll look at me. eyes on mine, gonna play with yeh okay? Gotta be quiet, think you can be quiet for me?”

Her nodding was so frantic she could hear the ticking noise of her brain moving inside her skull, making herself slightly dizzy for a second before Harry grabbed her attention again. “What do yeh wanna do sweetheart? Can you stay quiet if I fuck yeh or do we gotta settle for something else?” a quiet pleading whimper passed through her vocal cords almost in physical pain from the anticipation, Harry hadn’t given in yet he hadn’t let her press their lips together, pulling away to only brush noses every time she tried. “Need an answer then yeh can have a kiss.”

Y/n swallowed thickly, labored breaths coming from her body. “I can be quiet H, promise please I n-need you” her voice cracked with the weight of need, a whimper clawing its way out of her when he stood up to lock her door before shuffling back to the bed. Harry knew Y/n like the back of his hand, he could tell by the small dots of acne starting to present on her chin and the way she’s acting that her period was coming and that let him know she’d cum fast due to sensitivity, which was perfect for this risky scenario. The girl took it upon herself to start stripping herself down, bra coming off as fast as her sweatshirt did showing her slightly swollen tits and nipples a shade darker than usual confirming his previous realization.

She slipped her underwear off herself harry worked to push his sweats off as his free arm held up the duvet as an emergency shield incase the lock didn’t work watching the girl scramble to get under the blanket as she waited anxiously for Harry to join her.

His body was heavy on top of hers, chests pressed together while he guided his tip into her. Y/n instinctively wrapped around his waist, his other hand covering her mouth while he sunk himself inside the girl. Her wet warmth never failed to make his breath hitch, she felt so goddamn good every fucking time. the vibrations of her noises of pleasure tickled his palm, her drool wetting his palm whilst she struggled to keep herself together. She was always a sensitive little thing, but after a week without being touched she could hardly contain herself. Harry moved his hips in quick succession refusing to move his hand because he didn’t trust her to be quiet and honestly, he was struggling to stay quiet himself.

Harry used his free hand to anchor her thighs apart so he can get a good swivel into her, his pubic hair tickling her clit every time he circled his hips flush into her, both her cunt lips and the insides of her thighs getting stimulated with every thrust he gave her. He was well aware of how obsessed Y/n was with his lower half, including his happy trail, collection of curls sat above his cock and of course his previously fawned over thighs and every time he’d let her give him kisses down there she’d nuzzle her nose and lips into the hair. Often licking up the stripe of hair on his stomach, she really had a thing for his junk and she loved when he’d let his lower region tickle at her clit and lips while he fucked her. Y/n was on the verge of passing out, attempting to be quiet while he did everything to her poor cunt that he knew made her twitch and scream under normal circumstance. It felt almost cruel, wishing she could just scream out everything she needed to but she knew better and could focus on nothing else accept her orgasm approaching like a freight train.

Harry could feel how close she was, her g-spot has swelled a considerable amount from the way the crown of his cock massaged it with vigor during every rough thrust inside of her. she was soaking wet, almost so much so he was struggling to not slip out of her and her walls were fluttering. The clenching of her intimate muscles came in 10 second intervals warning him about her approaching climax, her eyes begging him not to stop because his palm was still firmly secured onto her mouth now completely soaked with her drool, her tongue desperately lapping at his hand to taste any part of him periodically as he drove himself deeper into her.

“Fuckin’ Christ, you gonna cum?” Y/n nodded frantically whimpering into his palm while digging her fingers into his arm trying to feel any sense of control while her body spiraled into ecstasy. With a buck of her restrained hips and trembling of her entire body she started to cum, hard .

“Oh fuck, cumming hard huh? God y/n baby fuck..where do you want it? ‘m gonna cum baby where do you want it?” his speed started to falter as he felt the pressure in his balls reach it’s breaking point, y/n responded by pointing a trembling hand to her mouth which made the mans eyes roll back and his hand quickly uncover her opening just in time for him to crawl up her body, knees on either side of her head as he spilled his seed into her drooly panting mouth. The sight was filthy, but god he swears she still looks beautiful with a mouth full of his cum and tear stained cheeks.

She swallowed it quickly, sticking her tongue out to swipe at his tip making sure she got the last drop before he rolled off her and dropped beside her. they were coated in sweat, cum and drenched in lust but god there truly was no place they’d rather be.

#harry styles smut #harry styles writing #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles blurb #harry styles angst #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #harry styles x yn #harry styles concept #harry styles au #harry styles drabble #harry styles fluff #bestfriend!harry

2K notes · View notes

inkykeiji · 4 years ago

Note

What do the twins enjoy doing with yn?( other than sex )

hmmmmmmmm well pulling from their hobbies,

touya loves to take her out sailing. he refuses to take her golfing, and he absolutely (and obviously) cannot take her when he plays poker—it’s an entirely unsuitable activity for her to tag along to. but he’s sure he’ll never be able to get enough of the awestruck smile and amazement glinting in her eyes when he takes her out on the water, in love with the way her entire face brightens, features saturated in pure joy as she takes in the seascape—and touya swears he’s never seen anything more beautiful, more breathtaking, more brilliant than his babygirl pictured against the background of the open sea on a sunny day <3 he’s also quite a foodie, and regularly enjoys trying out new restaurants with her—ranging from dingy diners that claim they’ve got the worlds best pancakes to five-star establishments with pretentious and world famous chefs.

dabi loves to take her to art galleries, film festivals + concerts with him. he’s always interested in her take on everything, always curious to know what she has to say about a particular piece, and all three of those activities require little prolonged conversation on the whole—a feat he admittedly struggles with. really, he just loves spending time with her, loves bringing her to do his favourite things and watching the way her expressions morph as she observes, loves the soft little gasps or cute little hums that slip from her lips as she studies a piece. she begs him to take her with him to one of his graffiti sessions—and if she pouts prettily enough and promises enough retribution, sometimes she gets lucky—although that’s a rare outcome, as touya often admonishes the idea. and dabi has to admit, it is risky, it is dangerous—he’d never want to get their precious little princess into any trouble, especially trouble with the law! but he’s selfish as hell, and he just adores the way she watches him create a piece with stars in her eyes, looking up at him like he hung the moon itself. either way, he makes it up to her by having semi-frequent painting sessions together, and they’ve created quite a few sex paintings oop <33

together, they like to take her to the local drive-in or big movie house to enjoy a double (sometimes triple)-feature. their tastes in film differ wildly between the three of them, but they always make a whole night of it, and are sure to do it at least twice a month, complete with all of the fixings; butter-salt popcorn, their favourite chocolate bars and candies, hot dogs, pretzels, nachos, etc. these are one of the rare occasions where touya doesn’t scold the other two for their sweets consumption. if they’re being entirely honest, they’d much rather go to the drive-in than the movie house, though, because it provides much more privacy. and it’s special, this little outing, becomes an important tradition to all three of them, always looking forward to being cuddled up in the trunk of touya’s stupidly large ranger rover, limbs tangled together as they feed each other treats and share sugary kisses <3

#EMMAAAAAAAAA #EMMA #I WANT TO EXPAND UPON THE DRIVE IN IDEA FOR UR MOVIE NIGHT ASK #WHAT DO U THINK??????#just because i'd love to write a lil something exploring this more eeeeee #but i also kinda wanna talk about how their movie nights at home are #but at the same time #that's short and i feel like most of it is a given #BUT THE IDEA OF GOING TO THE DRIVE IN WITH THEM???????#GETTING A LIL NAUGHTY????#WHAT ARE UR THOUGHTS????#anyway i love how much you love the twins hehehe #because fuck #same #oh god i really just wanna publish the first part of their fic series already waaaaaah #:((((((((#clari gets mail #todoroki twins dabi and touya

57 notes · View notes

xxxrubytuesdayxxx · 3 years ago

Text

If you tell him you’ve fallen for him...

Word Count: 13,003

Disclaimers: This is part (58) of a Choose Your Own Ending!

I hate the YN device as I find it “knocks me out of the story” so I have used my own name as a filler instead of YN [Sorry for any inconvenience]

Check at the end for glossary of Korean terms*

Start here:

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

“R...really?” you ask him hesitantly. He smiles and, for the first time in a long time, the smile goes all the way to his sparkling eyes as he nods enthusiastically.

“Yup!” he affirms happily. “I just didn’t know you’d say yes so soon.”

“Oh…” you stall, your head still spinning at his sudden transformation from international playboy to Korea’s sweetheart. His face falls at your continued hesitation.

“It doesn’t have to be homemade this first time,” he explains, in a small voice. “We can get some gimbap and drinks from a street vendor or a convenience store and then walk back up here. If that’s okay with you, I mean?” he corrects himself, his hands twisting anxiously in his lap.

“Oh babe!” you reassure him, taking his hands in yours. “It’s not that at all! This is a really cute idea. And the blanket is beautiful! It’s just...I mean...what if I hadn’t?” you correct yourself quickly. “What if it hadn’t worked out. With me?”

“Oh!” he recovers himself with another of his adorable bunny smiles. “It had to,” he assures you, suddenly brimming with confidence again.

“Okay? What do you mean it had to?” you ask, somewhat baffled.

“Well cos, you know my thing about hearing bells when I meet my soulmate? Well, I heard bells ringing when you came into our dorm the first time,” he explains, looking a little shy, but pleased with himself. You think back to your first day. Not surprisingly, you were a little too distracted at the time to remember any bells but you do remember one thing:

“JK...babe...It was a Sunday morning,” you remind him gently. “There were probably church bells ringing somewhere, and you heard those.” But he’s already shaking his head defiantly. “It doesn’t matter. It still counts. It doesn’t matter why there were bells, just that I heard them the first time I saw you. So I knew you were going to be mine one day.” You don’t really know what to say to this, so you just accept his kisses and pay him back in kind, until you’re both drunk on each other.

“Kaja, noona,” he murmurs against your lips, before pulling on your hand to make you follow him back along the park’s perimeter towards one of the little shops nestled under the office buildings of Gangnam.

“Don’t use banmal, Kookie. You know it’s naughty when I’m your noona. Besides, we’re in public. What if someone overhears you?” you fret, as you follow him obediently along the narrow sidewalk. He giggles and rolls his eyes at you.

“If someone hears me, they’ll see us together anyway,” he points out. “And if anyone sees us together, they’ll be able to tell straight away that I’m in love with you.” He stops as suddenly as if you’d just slapped him, his cheeks flushed and his gaze fixed on the ground. “Erm...I mean…I…” he stammers to a halt.

“You’re in love with me?” Your voice drops to a whisper, as if it doesn’t want to speak the words out loud and make them not true. He nods, embarrassed and still blushing furiously, then cringes away from you with a little strangled noise, covering his face with his hands. You want to tell him you’re in love with him too. That you should have said something earlier. That he needn’t be shy or nervous. You want to beg him to look at you. But you’re still so taken aback that you just blurt out: “Is that why…?” He nods vehemently, somehow reading your mind, though he doesn’t remove his hands from where they’re shielding his face.

“I can’t go on that show. I just can’t!” he mumbles from behind his hands. “And all the members will know why, cos I already told Jimin-hyung and Tae-hyung. Joon...Joon-hyung will kill me,” he moans softly, still stubbornly hiding his face. Ah. So this explains Jimin’s cryptic comments earlier.

“Well then he’ll have to kill me too,” you murmur, moving closer to him so that he can hear your voice, husky with the emotions you’ve been suppressing. “I’ve been in love with you from the day we met.” You raise your hands to gently move his own away from his face. Those huge, dark eyes are devouring you, his expression somewhere between bewilderment, hope and wonder.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me you had feelings for me, noona?” he pouts. “Or even give me a hint until last night?” He kisses you again, his teeth gently tugging at your bottom lip in the sweetest punishment. “Were you just going to let me suffer, if I never made a pass at you?”

“Never?! Like you would have lasted another week without making a pass,” you tease him. He looks mock-indignant, but giggles after a moment and concedes your point, with a cute wink, running his hands over his bangs in a parody of a Bangtan dance move.

“Okay, okay - kayo,” you tell him, shooing him in front of you and into the convenience store to grab your picnic supplies.

Leaning back on his elbows on the picnic rug, he watches you set up the food and drinks you’ve collected together, with a predatory half-smile on his lips. As soon as you’re done, he hooks his arm around your waist and pulls you down by his side, kissing you lingeringly. You kiss him back, but your eyes are still taking in your surroundings, ever on the alert for overzealous sasaeng fans who might be monitoring the park. He licks his nether-lip, gives you an amused look, and then casually takes a sip of champagne from the plastic glass you hand him, pausing with a tiny, cute grimace, before downing the contents in one swallow. He waves the empty glass at you, tapping the side with his finger, and you try not to smile at his imperious manner.

“Getting ahead of yourself, aren’t you, Kook? Expecting me to pour your drinks?” you tease him. “We’re not even married!” you elaborate, obediently pouring him another glass anyway, but with a gentle shake of your head.

“Yet…” he mutters, cheeky. You blush and occupy yourself with finishing the food setting, but he takes your hand to stop you, waiting until you look up at him.

“Come to Busan with me, when I go next week?” he asks you softly.

“Isn’t that a little...I mean...so suddenly?” you stammer. You know what he’s implying and, whilst you know that Korean men are notorious for moving quickly, this seems sudden even allowing for cultural mores. But he’s watching you avidly, and you still can’t resist those gorgeous doe-eyed looks he throws your way, even though you regularly see him throw them at the cameras, ARMY, even his hyungs and the staff when he particularly wants something from them. You’re not even entirely sure he realises how much power he holds, but he must notice that he tends to get his way when he looks at any of you like that.

“Okay,” you breathe, completely bewitched. You shove all your misgivings aside, close your eyes literally, to try and shut out all the potential hurdles to your fledgling relationship, and lean across to kiss him longingly.

He kisses you back, letting a wistful sigh escape his perfectly-shaped lips, before cuddling himself into your arms with an adorable little shimmy of content. You sigh in mild exasperation.

“JK?” you try. “Do you not want any of this picnic you were so insistent upon?” He nods, cute, with his eyes still shut, and opens his mouth obediently, apparently expecting you to feed him his lunch. Your mind is still reeling from everything that's changed over the past 24 hours as you reach across to fetch him a piece of the gimbap he chose first, figuring it’s the one to which he’s most looking forward. He takes it delicately from your fingers with his teeth, but as soon as it disappears into his mouth he chews it up as enthusiastically as you’re used to him doing, so you know he’s perfectly content here with you and happy to let you know that he’s enjoying his meal. His eyes flutter open once he’s done and he gives you a little pout, so you feed him another piece of gimbap and hand him back the glass of champagne he’s rested on the grass. But you draw the line at the third nudge, complete with a little motivational whine.

“I’m not going to feed you your entire lunch, you little prince!” you tease him, with a playful shove. “Am I meant to read your mind? You decide what you want to eat, okay?” He giggles a little and tells you he doesn’t care, it all looks delicious, but helps himself to a few more pieces of gimbap and some fruit, then cuddles back into your arms to consume it all voraciously, his huge, gorgeous eyes watching you avidly.

Unfortunately, the peace and repose of your tea party picnic is abruptly interrupted by the telltale shutter-barrage of a professional camera. Shit. Knowing the game is already up, the second those photos fly across to Dispatch, you allow Jeongguk to grab his precious picnic blanket and escape to his car, hands up to deflect the maximum amount of carnage.

You’re already on the phone to Hitman Bang telling him there’s been an incident, alongside the bare details of an admission. You can feel the iciness in his silence through the phone, and you’re honestly already preparing your leaving speech, but eventually he speaks: “Thank you for warning me. Please return to the apartment with him at once. I will meet you all there.” Puzzled that he didn’t fire you immediately, you call Namjoon to brief him and jump in the passenger side of Kookie’s re-roofed BMW convertible. He takes off the second you shut the door, plastering you back against the seat. He looks angry and scared, so you don’t speak at all, trusting him to know he needs to drive straight to the apartment, which he does.

Neither of you speak until he speeds into the underground garage and parks the car, upon which he puts his head on the steering wheel and swears softly in Korean.

“What am I going to do?” he murmurs, just barely loud enough for you to hear.

But it’s not until he raises his head to look at you pleadingly and repeats the question: “What am I going to do, noona?”, that you realize that the question isn’t rhetorical.

“Maybe you should go on the show?” you suggest, hesitantly, not believing you’re suggesting this. He looks hurt, but then resolute, perhaps realizing your intent. “It’s only pretend,” you add hastily, taking his hand in yours. He squeezes it and smiles weakly, giving it a little shake before letting go.

“Is PD-Nim upstairs?” he checks, already knowing the answer. You nod anyway.

He nods as well, facing back to the front and then closing his eyes, gathering himself for the onslaught. “Okay…” he sighs, opening his eyes. He turns to face you again, placing his hand gently on your cheek and kissing you insistently on the lips. “I won’t let him fire you,” he tells you fiercely. “I’ll quit first.” You know he’s trying to tell you how much he loves you, but you shake your head firmly.

“I won’t let you,” you tell him. “BTS is your whole life. The boys, ARMY, you can’t give that up for something as silly as the tabloids. You wouldn’t be happy. You wouldn’t be yourself.” He smiles sadly but sweetly.

“God, I love you,” he sighs.

“Love you too,” you reassure him. “Now, let’s go see if we can fix this mess.”

Considering the circumstances, you’re both careful not to display any signs of mutual affection when you enter, which seems to make Namjoon’s jaw relax at any rate. He gestures beyond him to where Hitman Bang is seated with the other boys, waiting for you.

“Do we have the…” You’re going to say photos, but Namjoon interrupts you with a curt nod and inclines his head to the older man. You bow your head penitently, feeling JK do the same beside you. You both wait an eternity for him to excuse you. He tells you to be seated which you both do, quickly and quietly, making sure to sit apart.

“We have the photos,” Hitman Bang tells you soberly. He turns to face Jeongguk, causing the younger man to bow his head again.

“Have you already broken up with Jisoo then, Jeongguk?” he asks bluntly. Jeongguk blushes hotly, before nodding and muttering “ye”. You’re simultaneously furious for him and proud of him for not taking the bait. It’s quite obvious that Bang PD is implying he’s as impatient and distractible in his personal life as he is with his hobbies. Yet Hitman Bang had been spared the repercussions of the ending of that relationship. It had been you, Namjoon and Hobi that had counselled and held JK, wiping his tears away when Jisoo had told him she couldn’t cope with the sasaeng hate anymore and dumped him over text. Not that he blamed her or spoke a word against her, saying he understood: that secretly dating an idol was widely acknowledged in the industry to be a nightmare. Yet now here he was brave enough to try again; to put his heart in someone else’s hands again.

“How bad are the photos?” you prompt Hitman Bang, your voice a little icy, as you make an instinctive gesture towards Jeongguk, still wanting to protect him from the ugly side of all this, even now, when he knows it so well. The older man, not missing the gesture or its meaning, turns towards you, and sighs.

“They’re actually not that terrible,” he acknowledges, grudgingly. “From our standpoint. They’re blurry and ambiguous and there’s only one of you both...(he clears his throat, clearly embarrassed)...together. The others are of Jeongguk with what appears to be your picnic blanket over his head.” He gestures to the open laptop screen in front of him and you take in the paparazzi’s handiwork. Two photos, as described, of Jeongguk making a dash for his car, and one of you both arguably cuddled up together, but Hitman Bang is right: it’s ambiguous and fortunately they caught you together when Jeongguk was momentarily engaged in collecting more food, rather than gazing into your eyes. But you’re still clearly very intimately positioned for work colleagues.

“What’s the damage?” you prompt. “Can we pay them off? Does anyone else have copies that might get leaked? What’s our official line on this? I’m not likely to pass for a trainee or another label artist. Friend visiting from Busan might work in a pinch?” you suggest, tentatively. Hitman Bang holds up his hand, and you recognise a slight smile starting on his face, as he remembers how enthusiastic you’ve always been about protecting the boys, right back from when you were working on the protect@bighit email.

“Dispatch are asking for (he motions towards the email again) a predictably outrageous sum to kill the story - though they do offer to kill it completely, so it doesn’t pop up anywhere else either. Apparently it was one of theirs, not a sasaeng as I feared. We can afford it. He sighs, more deeply this time. “But I don’t know how many more of Jeongguk’s escapades we can afford in the future.”

“It’s not just JK!” you leap to his defence. Hitman Bang actually allows himself a smile this time, albeit an ironic one.

“Jimin’s little Parisian adventure?” he asks. “Or the lyrical interlude? The point is none of that makes it any less dangerous. Or expensive. And Jeongguk, of all the boys, does love those Dispatch headlines,” he provokes you. You shoot him daggers, but he just raises his eyebrows and catches Namjoon’s eye. Namjoon looks at you guiltily, but concedes their boss’s point, with an apologetic shrug. “Look part of me even admires the sheer balls that it took to go out under the nose of the paparazzi like that, but please please can we refrain from the temptation in future?” he sums up. You realize he’s preparing to leave, and you want to offer him something, stunned that he hasn’t mentioned a thing about your job, implying nothing has changed there. Not to mention his tacit approval of you and Jeongguk continuing your relationship, if you’re discreet about it.

“Would it help...I mean did you still want Jeongguk to go on the game show?” you ask, trying to catch JK’s eye, but he’s spaced out, probably thanking his lucky stars that he somehow got away with this. Hitman Bang glances across at him as well.

“I mean probably not anymore,” he decides. “I’d rather keep the media’s eye off him for the moment until we’ve got something concretely positive to feed their gossip mills. Let’s talk again tomorrow.”

You’re still pondering what kind of miracle has occurred (somehow you’re not only still employed, but unofficially dating the boy you’re crazy about and not being forced to watch him fake-married to a pop starlet on prime-time television), almost a week later, while you wait together, outside the train station in Busan, for his parents to meet you with the car. You’ve both learnt your lesson about holding hands or cuddling in public, but you’re still awed at how he can slip under the radar in his hometown, safely clad in a black hoodie, jeans and sunglasses. He’s careful to keep his hands in his pockets, of course, to hide those giveaway tattoos, but all-in-all this almost feels normal.

You’re not waiting long before a nondescript car pulls up and Jeongguk nods to the driver, before gesturing to you to follow him, which, after a moment of shy hesitation, you do. You climb in the back and sit quietly, waiting for Jeongguk to explain your presence. From the look of the driver, it’s his brother, not his father, so you feel a teensy bit less nervous, but you still want to make a good impression.

“Nuguseyo?” the driver asks, throwing your bags in the trunk, as Jeongguk is still messing about with his seatbelt.

“Nae yeochin,” Jeongguk answers him, looking a little smug. The driver raises his eyebrows and lets out a low whistle, clearly as aware of the implications as you are, if not more so.

“Are you allowed a girlfriend, little brother?” he teases Jeongguk. He turns to you, and nods politely.

“Annyeong. Junghyun-i-e-yo,” he introduces himself. You nod back, shooting Jeongguk a nervous look. You’re still trying to process your sudden elevation to ‘girlfriend’ status, but you figure you shouldn’t be that surprised, if he’s bringing you home to meet his parents. Meanwhile Jeongguk isn’t happy with the introductions:

“Aish, hyung! She’s your noona~,” he protests. Junghyun’s eyebrows go even further up. ‘Wow’ he mouths, giving his younger brother a look somewhere between impressed and scandalised. “Mianhamnida, noona,” he apologizes to you gravely.

“Gwaenchanaeyo,” you wave it off quickly, embarrassed. “Ruby-yeyo.” You ride home in companionable mostly-silence, Junghyun occasionally pointing out local landmarks or points of interest, as Jeongguk zones out in the front seat. The boys’ parents are waiting in the front room when you all enter and you bow formally, standing slightly behind Jeongguk. This time he is quicker to explain.

“I sarameun je yeojachingu, Ruby-noona-ipnida,” he murmurs, to the floor. You can tell Junghyun is desperately trying to keep his face neutral, waiting to see what response his parents are going to have. To their credit, they both manage to maintain their composure, though the news that their younger son is suddenly dating has clearly taken them aback. You do notice his father’s eyes twinkle a little at the ‘noona’ addition though. You follow Jeongguk’s lead, and murmur your salutations in formal speech, to the floor.

To your relief, the rest of the evening is actually lovely and you understand enough Korean to keep up with much of the conversation and be careful to use jondaemal, so it doesn’t get too awkward. Naturally Jeongguk’s parents are full of questions for you, so you answer as graciously and honestly as you can, knowing that, like you, they just want to protect him. Jeongguk’s mother laughs, cute, when he points out that, like you, she was attracted to a younger man and wasn’t shy about showing her interest. You tell them about the bells and how long it’s taken you and Jeongguk to finally admit that you fancied each other, and Jeongguk’s mother tells you all about her courtship with his father and some cute stories about Jeongguk.

Eventually, you tell them that you had better head to the hotel you will be staying at overnight, before you and Jeongguk both catch a train back to Seoul the next evening, but Jeongguk’s parents insist you stay there, even though you protest that they barely get to see their son, whereas you live at the dorm with him. You only give in when you realise that they want to see how you behave as a guest as well as Jeongguk’s girlfriend and potential future wife. So no pressure or anything, as you tease him, in a whisper, when they leave you both alone, after showing you to the guest bedroom.

“You don’t need to feel pressure: I love you, and that’s all that matters to them. They are good parents,” he assures you, making you feel a little bad for teasing.

“This is a lovely room,” you tell him, changing the subject, nervously.

“Yeah, I never get to sleep in here,” he marvels, looking around in satisfaction. “I always have to sleep in my old bedroom, or on Junghyun’s floor.” You look at him amused.

“Revealing the true reason you told them we’re dating,” you provoke him. He sticks his tongue out, then moves across to start pulling his things out of his bag. You smile to yourself before doing the same with your bag, but Jeongguk stops what he’s doing to come across and kiss you softly on the lips.

“Jigeum dangjang wanjonhi manjokamniyo?” he whispers, his arms habitually slipping around your waist to pull you closer to him. You gently stroke a loose tendril of his hair behind his ear and kiss him back.

“Wanjonhi,” you assure him, draping your arms around his neck. He bites his bottom lip and shuts his eyes, wrinkling his nose adorably. “Mwo?” You laugh.

“Well...I was kinda banking on you being at that hotel, so I could sneak out later and ...you know...take advantage of our lack of company,” he complains. “I wanted to show you how loud I can get, so you know how much I’ve been holding back.” You exhale another breath of gentle laughter.

“There’ll be plenty of time for that later,” you coo. “Let’s use this occasion to reassure your parents that we’re not just in lust with each other, okay? So they know I’ll always look after you well.”

“Okay,” he smiles wanly. You poke him gently in the ribs. “Maybe we can stop by a yanolja hotel tomorrow night, when we get back to Seoul instead,” you suggest.

“Jinjja?!” he checks, his eyes wide.

“Yes, really! Why not? I’m game. And I never get to spoil you properly these days, without it looking like I’m playing favourites.” you grin, making his eyes sparkle. You pull out your phone to make the booking online, making him purr with satisfaction and nuzzle into your neck. You fix yourselves up, then drift back out to the living room for a proposed nightcap with his parents. Jonghyun has gone into his room to do some work, so you chat to Jeongguk’s mother, while he retires into the study with his father and some whisky. You and his mother manage to have a lovely relaxed girls’ night, during which his mother tells you some priceless anecdotes and little tricks she assures you will work on her son’s naturally-flighty and distractible nature. In turn, you update her on some of the members’ recent escapades and reassure her that you always take care to be fiercely protective of her son’s interests, having fallen for him at first sight and not wavered in your affections since. She seems pleased with this news and takes your hands affectionately, before proposing that you both listen to some old records, which you’re happy to do.

When you notice her discreetly getting tired, you check what time breakfast will be prepared and insist that you will get up to help her, whilst the men sleep in, then retire to the guest room to ‘rest’ and wait for Jeongguk to join you. He comes in after another half-hour or so, gives you a nightcap-crooked smile and quite deliberately locks the door behind him, making you shiver with desire.

“Slight change of plan,” he intones, his voice husky and his eyes bedroom-ravenous. “Ot beoso-bwa: Neorang jago shipeo…”

“But jagi...:” you protest weakly. He ignores you, closing the distance between you swiftly and kissing you with all the heat of a passion thwarted by circumstance. He tastes like whisky with an undertone of his own personal taste, that you’ve already come to be helplessly addicted to over the past week. “We can be quiet,” he pleads, seemingly unable to stop kissing you long enough for you to even respond. “Jebal, noona...Jagiya~” His pretty begging is belied by his insatiable hands, which are already under your deliberately-modest nightdress, caressing your naked breasts and tweaking your hardening nipples impatiently. You barely have time to gasp “but tomorrow night…” before his fingers are racing down your abdomen to dip inside you greedily.

“Ah shibal...you’re so ready for me…” he moans softly, fumbling desperately with his belt and jeans-zipper. Giving in, you grind your hips against his hand, letting his fingers slide all the way in, to play with your clit, as you help him remove his jeans. His cock is ridiculously hard and quivering with a life of its own, but you barely have time to register this before he’s tipped you back onto the bed and is deep inside you, thrusting urgently and messily as his moans bury themselves in your cleavage.

You cling to him, trying to memorize every inch of him, just in case reality ever invades your shared safe haven and this night is all you have to remember him by. His taut thighs are shaking with the effort of the pleasure he’s bestowing on you and the delicate, feathery warmth of his breath on your skin sets your entire body vibrating to his touch. He’s quick and quiet as promised though, collapsing on his back next to you, to rake his tattooed fingers through his dishevelled hair, as you watch him fondly. He laughs, exhausted and drops his arm back onto the pillows, his chest still heaving.

“Aiyah, I need to take a shower,” he groans. “You made me all sweaty,” he teases, sticking his tongue out and winking discreetly. He’s surprisingly quick and you jump in after him, switching to your slightly-lighter summer nightgown as soon as you’ve towelled off. He purrs his approval, though you had been careful to choose everything with high necklines for even your summery options, not being sure which clothes his parents might see on this visit. This one is a little shorter though, and Jeongguk doesn’t miss the opportunity to give you a resounding slap on the ass when you pass by him on your way to collect your comb. You roll your eyes indulgently.

“You’re doing a great job of making us look like we’re in a serious, grown-up relationship,” you needle him, with a giggle. He looks fake-affronted.

“I’ve been a perfect gentleman all evening,” he defends himself. You soften, and lean across to kiss him gently.

“You have been. Until you locked the door,” you agree. “Now unlock it, in case your mother needs to come in for anything,” you tell him firmly. “It was incredibly kind of them to let me stay here overnight, and share you like this, and I don’t want to be disrespectful.” He makes a cute, pouting, aegyo gesture, but obliges you, before climbing into the king-size bed, pulling you into his arms, and settling himself to drift off to sleep, spooning you. You sigh happily, and cuddle up close, fully aware that you’ve never been able to be this “couple-y” back at the dorm apartment, even if you have managed to steal all those moments together.

You wake up somehow still in his arms, though you quickly scoot across the bed to flick your alarm off before it can wake him. He whines softly in his sleep, so you nudge your pillows closer to him and watch him wrap himself around them with a cute little satisfied noise. You laugh to yourself at his unconscious aegyo and head out to the kitchen to help his mother with the breakfast.

You make sure to take yourself off to the train station soon after your meal, ensuring that Jeongguk gets to spend some time alone with his family by explaining that you have lots of work to do back in Seoul. His mother sees what you’re trying to do and smiles softly at you as you all say your farewells. You remind Jeongguk to meet the company car at Apgujeong station at seven, rather than Seoul station at six. He winks at you discreetly, so you know he’s remembered why.

“So...just how noisy are you planning to be?” you whisper as he kisses you fervently. “Am I going to need to alert the police, so they know not to intervene?” You’re finally holed up together in one of Korea’s most famous ‘love motels’ with an hour at your disposal. Jeongguk has tried to convince you via text, while he was travelling back up on the KTX, to buy a whole night, but you’ve reminded him that you’re already pushing it. You’re assuming it’s as a direct result of having his overnight bid rejected that, upon arriving, he immediately dropped his bag straight on the floor, scooped you into his arms, and started devouring you with fiery kisses, without even stopping to greet you.

“C’mon, noona~” he whines, his lips gearing up for pout-mode, as you gently push him away to admire him at arm’s length.

“Someone took you shopping?” you guess, making his eyes sparkle with mischief. He tosses his mane of dark hair away from his face and the pout hesitates, twitches, and reforms itself into a smirk.

“Do you like it?” he asks, preening a little, as he adjusts his lapels and flips his hair again, a little self-consciously. You nod, smiling at his shy modelling of the look.

“I love it. You look amazing,” you tell him.

“I’m going to dye my hair dark colours for...for later...as well,” he murmurs.

“It’s already dark?” you point out.

“No. Like dark colours, but different to the natural colour,” he elaborates.

“I see. And later?” you echo his words, bemused. “Later like the next comeback?” He shakes his head.

“No...like...later later. ‘Cos you like dark colours on me, you said a few times...” he trails off, then laughs at himself softly. “Stop distracting me with talking, noona~ I want to kiss you so much right now,” he tells you, the pout returning.

“So kiss me. You don’t need anyone’s permission for that,” you tell him.

“Do I not?” he counters. You shake your head, unable to speak as you drink in his ethereal beauty. His eyes sparkle as he takes your chin in his hands and kisses you hungrily, biting your bottom lip in his passionate ardour. You kiss him back, as starving for his kisses as he is eager to bestow them on you. You’re so distracted by the black magic his lips and tongue are working on you that you don’t even notice him stripping you both until you feel the heat of his bare skin against your own and realise that you’re standing naked in each others’ arms.

He lets you suck on his tongue, as he lifts you up to sit astride his hips, with your legs wrapped about his waist, before walking the few steps to slam you up against the wall. You’ve barely had time to catch your breath before you feel him slide up inside you, simultaneously giving voice to an airy moan of pleasure that sets your whole body tingling. His kisses and bites head south until you can feel his breath warm on your neck as his moans increase their pitch and volume, interspersed with cuss words in both English and Korean.

“Oh! Jeongguk-ah!” you gasp, clinging to him and kissing every inch of him you can reach, as his hips shudder with increasingly messy haste.

“Oh Noona! Oh fuck! Oh shi~FUCK! Oh NE!” he responds, his voice raised to a pitch he usually reserves for online gaming or vocal practice. Somewhere in the room, muffled by your bag, you hear your phone start to ring. Without missing a beat, Jeongguk growls “ignore it,” raising your leg to rest on his shoulder to adjust his angle. You let out a tiny yelp of surprise and alarm at feeling yourself stretched further than you were aware you were capable of, but he must think you’re objecting, as he elaborates: “c’mon, noona, don’t worry about it. Neukkimi wa~!”

“I’m not, I’m just-ah! Kookie!!” you squeal. “I don’t know if I can get that high!”

“Course you can - I’ve got you,” he gasps, with a wicked little smile, thrusting himself into you faster and faster. “Seriously: gibun joha! Oh my God!” he groans, sounding ironically like he’s actually in pain.

“Are you okay, jagi?!” you ask, slightly concerned that he’s hurt himself.

“Mmf shibal, ne,” he giggles, kissing you softly, then nipping your lip. “Come over to the mirror…” he murmurs, letting you down to the ground and pulling you insistently towards the mirrored wardrobe door panels. “I want to watch you while I fuck you at behind...at the back?” he tries, checking your eyes to see if he’s on the right track, and making you smile.

“From behind,” you correct him gently, blushing. He blushes as well and you kiss him softly. “Such a dirty mouth for such a beautiful boy,” you tease him, in Korean. His eyes widen and a tiny smile pulls at the corner of his lips as he fishes one of your heels from the shoe rack by the wardrobe.

“Put these back on?” he requests.

“Oh really?” you ask, raising your eyebrows in amusement.

“Ne. Jebal,” he nods decisively.

“Do you not want me to put the rest back on then?” you check, gesturing at the suspender belt and filmy stockings. He looks puzzled. “Not all the clothes. Just the lingerie,” you amend.

“Oh!” he nods, to show you he’s understood. “Eung. Ne ranjeri joha,” he affirms, with a coy smile. You quickly slip your bra, stockings and suspender belt back on, feeling his eyes devour you as you do so. When you come back over to him, he embraces you from behind, watching your joint reflections in the mirror. The lingerie seems to entrance him.

“Nomu yeppeoyo…” he whispers into your ear.

“Jeongguk, do-yo,” you murmur, smiling into his eyes in his reflection. Exhaling, with a sigh, he lets his hands skim your sides, following the curves of your breasts and hips, until you feel his erection return, teasing the insides of your thighs. His head dips to lick the curve of your neck and you can feel his warm breath tickling your over-sensitive skin. He slips his hands inside the cups of your bra, making you gasp as the cold air hits your exposed skin. He stares at your reflection for an interval, his eyes drawn first to your exposed breasts, and then to your legs, angled at a high tilt from the heels.

“Go on then,” you breathe. “Show me what you’re made of Kookie.” You watch him bite his lip and close one eye, cute, clearly reassessing his bold claim last night.

“Oh I see,” you laugh gently. “Now you’re shy?” Well, that works. Repositioning himself, he gives you a defiantly cocky look and draws you back onto his erection making you gasp loudly. Reacting to your gasp, he groans loudly and then proceeds to give voice to a litany of moans that would make a whore blush.

“Faster, Kook! Oh my God ne!” you encourage him, too caught up in the act and in his beauty - reflected in the mirror as he enjoys himself - to give any thought to who might overhear you both. You’re close to collapsing from your shaking legs, when he gasps: “maltagi haeboja?” and grabs you around the waist with one arm, swiftly transferring you to the bed, before falling onto his back and gesturing to you to straddle him. Indulging him, you throw one leg across him, lean down to kiss his pretty mouth and simultaneously reach behind to lower yourself onto his erection.

“Oh shiBAL!” he yelps, throwing his head back and tossing his dark hair everywhere. His hips are going like a jackhammer, and it’s hard to keep your balance, but you manage somehow, making you both giggle as you’re tossed about like a ship on the waves. His brings his hands around from your thighs to grab your ass hard and you raise your hips a little to bounce up and down on him, making him swear again and toss his head feverishly. His moans slip into pleading gasps and almost-sobbing sounds and you can feel his hip-thrusts getting messier as he gets closer to finishing.

“Oh jebal!” he whimpers, gritting his teeth as the orgasm starts to sneak up on him. You wiggle around, letting him hit your g-spot until you feel your muscles start to contract around his erection.

“Ssalkeogata?” he gasps. You nod frantically, not wanting him to stop before you feel the waves hit you. He swallows hard, then follows up with “Same! Odiro hallae?”

“Eolgul-eso,” you whisper, wanting to reward his efforts. You lean forward to kiss his neck, and let your hands stray up to his nipples.

“Unf!” he grunts, “quick then - get down there!” You glide yourself off him carefully, then angle yourself between his legs, earning yourself a prolonged growl of pleasure as his hips jerk and thick ribbons of his jizz paint your upturned face.

“Mm,” he murmurs, his eyes already sliding shut. “That was hot.” You let him cuddle up to you for ten minutes or so, but then feel obliged to point out that your hour is swiftly coming to a close. “You need to get dressed, jagi. You guys have that slot on Jimmy Kimmel later tonight, remember?” you coax him. “What will ARMY think if you’re all spacey?” His laugh is full of mischief.

“They won’t think anything. I’m spacey plenty of the time,” he points out. “That’s like asking Jimin not to fall off his chair.” He sticks his tongue out, and then darts out of your way as you go to smack him lightly. He starts pulling his clothes back on and you do the same. “Oh wait!” he remembers, as he lights upon a tissue-paper package in his bag. “I got you something as well.” He holds it out to you shyly. You unwrap it with trembling fingers as he watches you anxiously. Nestled in the tissue-paper is a stunning, rose madder, satin negligee.

“Oh wow, JK...Are you...sure you should be spending this kind of money on me?” you ask tentatively. He gives you a deep, rather forceful kiss in reply, his arms wrapping possessively around your waist, as if you’re in any doubt that he owns you.

“Wear it when you go to bed tonight,” he demands. You raise your eyebrows at his imperious tone, but smile and agree to his terms, accepting another lingering kiss as a signed, sealed and delivered contract. “Also, I’m coming in your room later and sleeping there,” he informs you, leaving no room for debate.

And so it is that, after lights-out in the dorm, you see your door slide silently back to reveal Jeongguk in (what you are to discover are deliberately-chosen) cobalt-blue satin pyjama bottoms and no shirt. Pretty, sleepy and refreshingly innocent, he turns his head away politely to yawn, then pads softly over to your bed, slips his room slippers off, and cuddles up close to you under the sheets. You turn to kiss him goodnight, but he’s already mostly asleep, and your insides curl happily at the thought that he genuinely just wanted to be with you when he fell asleep.

He stretches with a satisfied sound when he comes to the next morning, apparently not bothered by the sound of his insane alarm, which you wonder if you’ll ever get used to, though you’re aware that you’re leaping ahead in even considering such things. He turns his lovely doe-eyed gaze on your face, and then skims the curves of your body - clad in your present from him - lightly with his hand, letting his eyes follow along.

“Mmm...you wore this to bed like I asked,” he mumbles, obviously pleased.

“Mm-hm,” you murmur back, still half-asleep.

“Humm...look at you...look at us…” he purrs, tangling his legs with yours and running his tattooed hand from his own blue-covered leg to your red-covered one. You’re both splayed on your white sheets with the black satin pillows tossed everywhere by your sleeping limbs, and it takes you a second to take it all in, but then you realise.

“Oh yeah! Taegeukgi!” you laugh gently, amused by his cleverness but apparently completely missing what he’s implying. You don’t miss the look in his beautiful eyes though. He looks first bewildered, but then just slightly disappointed and you worry that you’ve somehow hurt him. You kiss him gently and smile into his eyes.

“Did you want to try and take a photograph?” you check, still unsure what you’ve said or done, or more likely not said or done. He hesitates, thinking it over, but then shakes his head and kisses you lingeringly to let you know you’re forgiven for your transgression. You rack your brain for anything vital you might have missed in the flag’s symbolism while you were researching Korean culture, prior to your move here, but strangely the puzzle pieces only come together in your head months later.

You all manage to drift along in peaceful contentment for around a month until the day Hobi walks in on Jeongguk sobbing quietly in your arms because he’s so embarrassed that the weight he has recorded that morning is just slightly over the body-fat percentage ratio that the company had demanded from him.

“Hey guys! Anyone up for a coffee date?” chirps the dance leader, tossing his gym bag on one of the couches and pirouetting on the spot. “I was thinking we could try that new…” he trails off as he takes in the scene in front of him, catching your eye over Jeongguk’s shaking shoulders. “I mean later... I’m just gonna grab a snack…” he amends, making his escape quickly, but not without a sympathetic grimace at the back of Jeongguk’s head.

He’s discreet enough not to mention anything in JK’s presence, when the latter insists on dragging you into the kitchen with him to follow up on the coffee proposal.

“We’ll come with you to the new coffee place, hyung!” he announces brightly, his eyes still sparkling unnaturally, though he’s let you dab some cream on his eyelids to cover up the puffy redness and his hand is gripping yours a little too tightly.

“Um, sure. Just let me finish my snack, and I’ll bring the car around,” Hoseok nods agreeably, graciously giving you space to head back into the living room. You know better than to question Jeongguk’s course of action when he’s in a heightened state, so you just cuddle up next to him on the couch and wait for Hobi to let you know he’s ready. After a moment, you let your hand stray to the hemline of JK’s t-shirt and dance your fingers lightly over his abs. He looks shy and a little surprised when he catches your eye. You smile up at him fake-innocently.

“So sexy, babe,” you coo. “You should show this off more.” You press his t-shirt up teasingly, making him blush and yank it back down.

“Noona~ Hobi’s about to come get us,” he whines, but the little smile he tries to hide lets you know he’s flattered so you hope you’ve undone at least some of the damage.

“He obviously trusts you,” Hobi is plea-bargaining with you before the next comeback. “And don’t even think I don’t know he was crying the other day, before we went to get coffee either. And why he was upset. I’m not stupid. He’s always down when he’s been binging and they spot check us. And Jin had to physically stop him eating the other day, so we all knew he was going to spiral. But that’s the first time I know of that he’s confided in anyone about it.” It’s true that you’ve all noticed Jeongguk’s weight yo-yo-ing and this time you and Hobi are a little frightened at the amount he’s lost so quickly and how he’s managing it. You grimace in acknowledgement of Hoseok’s words.

“Well I haven’t seen him eat anything today,” you agree, thinking it over. “Or yesterday for that matter. I was assuming he’d eat when you guys were scheduled?” Hoseok shakes his head sharply with a glum look.

“Nothing,” he laments.

“Shit,” you curse. “I don’t know what we can do. You know he won’t listen to reason...or compliments,” you sigh helplessly. Hoseok sighs as well.

You’ve both reached an impasse in your plotting when the object of your speculation flits into the room, looking suspiciously pleased with himself and acting a little tipsy. You and Hoseok exchange a look. Tipsy may be the vibe, but neither of you have seen him anywhere near anything other than his ubiquitous bottles of water for at least three days, so you’re guessing it’s lightheadedness that’s the culprit.

“Been out, JayKay?” Hoseok tries conversationally.

“Mm-hm,” Jeongguk replies, nodding, but keeping his lips together. You and Hoseok exchange another uneasy look. Instead of elaborating, the maknae scoops you into his arms and kisses you deeply, making Hobi turn away, flustered.

“Oh...ooh...Oh!” you exclaim, surprised by his romantic gesture and then by the unmistakable feel of metal against your tongue. You laugh in relief as you realise why he kept his lips together. He’s gotten his tongue pierced.

“You know you’re not meant to kiss anyone when that’s healing?” you reprimand him lightly. Hobi looks across, eyebrows raised in curiosity.

“Apparently JayKay is still working on his mission to give Korean parents everywhere heart failure,” you update him. Jeongguk obediently sticks out his tongue, demonstrating. Hobi laughs, exasperated.

“She’s right about the kissing,” he comments. “And kimchi too. Better lay off the kimchi…” he stammers to a stop, realising what he’s saying. “Actually, it’s probably fine, so long as you wash it after,” he mumbles, awkward as you all try to skirt around the subject of your golden maknae’s pre-comeback eating habits. Bit by bit though, Jeongguk starts to confide in you when he’s worried about his weight and you do your best to help him eat healthily and remind him that ARMY love to see him enjoy his food and gradually he inches towards a healthier body-image, though there are still setbacks, and you have to be very careful to praise his looks when he’s at a healthy weight and not to overdo the praise when he overdoes the dieting.

Yet none of this alerts you to what Jeongguk is building up to, and apparently none of the others are any the wiser, so he takes you all by surprise the day he puts his plan into action. You’re all at a company picnic, due to progress to dinner and drinks once the sun dips below the horizon. You and Jeongguk have already fended off the usual stellar jokes from the hyung line, pitched just at the level to needle you both without arousing the suspicion of the staff:

“How are you feeling JK?” asks Yoongi in an overly-solicitous manner. Jeongguk narrows his eyes, vaguely aware where this might be headed.

“Fine,” he allows, warily. Yoongi continues to feign concern.

“That’s good. Cos that stomach ache you had last night sounded pretty bad,” he quips, catching Namjoon’s eye. Namjoon grins and chimes in:

“Yeah. We can get you some pepto-bismol for that if it keeps up,” he concurs.

“Pepto-bismol?” overhears Jin, joining the attack. “Good idea. Maybe we should grab some mosquito repellant as well,” he nods sagely. “Poor Noona seems to be their favourite snack lately.” The staff members milling around within earshot miss the implications, but neither you nor Jeongguk do. He shoots you a mischievous look and you return it with a warning look.

“Are we that loud?” you mutter to Namjoon, when he passes you a plate of food. He raises his eyebrows and gives you a broad grin.

“We could hear him moaning from the living room last night. It didn’t quite go with the classical soundtrack of the documentary we were watching on ‘galaxies beyond our own’,” he informs you, in an amused undertone.

“Sorry,” you grimace, feeling your cheeks flush. Namjoon shrugs indulgently. “And the hickeys?” you prompt, uneasily. “Are they that obvious?”

“Subtle is not Jeon Jeongguk’s middle name,” Namjoon reminds you, wryly. “Look, from my point of view, your bizarre courtship rituals are pretty funny, if not even a little bit romantic on occasion.” He pauses, with a deep sigh. “I just don’t know that management will see it that way,” he points out. Turns out Jeongguk has other ideas on that as you and Joon are about to discover. Bangtan’s leader is watching you pick at the leftovers of your food as he regales you with the details of the documentary you missed, when Jeongguk materialises at his shoulder.

“May I interrupt, hyung?” he checks nervously and very formally.

“Uh, sure...What’s up JK?” Joon asks, trying to bring the register down. Instead of adapting, Jeongguk clears his throat and extends his hand to take yours in his as he, rather melodramatically and very gracefully sinks to one knee. That gets the attention of the rather taken aback staff and members. As for you, you’re too flustered to move and can’t take your eyes off his. Your mouth feels dry and you’re finding it hard to swallow as you feel your heart beating way too fast. What is he playing at? you think to yourself, your head whirling as you try to think of other plausible explanations.

“Ruby-noona, narang gyeolhonhae juseyo,” he requests in full honorifics, his voice trembling only the tiniest bit. “Oh…” he interrupts himself, his voice dropping in volume and register, “Moksori-ga tteolryeo…” Nobody else moves, or says anything. You’re all too stunned by his sudden vulnerability. Finally, you unfreeze and smile warmly down at his anxious face. Without even a glance to check whether it’s okay with the staff or your boss, you nod your head enthusiastically.

“Ne! Sucheon bon-iyo! ” you exclaim, bending to kiss his perfect lips. His eyes widen as he registers your lips on his and you feel him smile as well. Getting to his feet, he lifts you up above his head and kisses you again, revelling in the purity of the moment and the joy of his own strength.

By the day of the wedding, your head is still spinning over how quickly everything has happened from the day you first kissed until the day first his parents and then the company agreed to your marriage. His parents didn’t take much convincing, but you’re both still a little bruised from how much the company resisted. In the end, you agreed to a very private ceremony and only the most cursory of press statements. Neither you nor Jeongguk had wanted to announce anything to the public, but Hybe had insisted, pointing out that saying nothing would likely blow up in your faces later.

You want to get married in the evening, so you manage to hire Gyeongbokgung Palace grounds for the ceremony, which has you in raptures over how pretty the background of your vows is going to be and him nostalgic over the last time he was here, performing a showcase for an American broadcast. You book your mother, best friends and brother flights over to Korea, and Jeongguk kisses you tenderly and takes you gently in his arms, pulling you onto his lap when you explain to him that your father has already passed away so he won’t get the chance to meet him and hear from his daughter how lucky she is to have found such an amazing man.

You ask him if there’s anyone that you’re expected to invite and he laughs softly and tells you his parents will arrange most of that, but he will make sure to invite your mutual friends here in Seoul and to let him know if there’s anyone else you or your mother want there. When everyone arrives in Seoul, you, your mother and your girlfriends join Jeongguk’s mother who guides you all graciously through the hanbok fittings, making sure everyone has the colouring correct. Of course your mother opts for purple over pink and you laughingly tell her that you’ll allow it because “Borahae!” (complete with ‘kimchi’ pose) which confuses her a bit but makes the others laugh. You fall in love with your own rich, red hanbok, carefully chosen by Jeongguk’s mother, and go to your trusted hairdresser to discuss hairstyles. You’re tempted to let your own mother choose your jewellery, but she laughs knowingly and says not to worry: she knows your taste is wildly different from hers.

And then finally, there’s the jeon-an-rye ceremony: Jeongguk, blushing shyly, as he bows twice and presents your enchanted mother with a beautiful kireogi. She eagerly tells him that your father was very fond of the symbol of a wild goose and, indeed, had them embroidered on his ecclesiastical robes when he was promoted. Jeongguk misses a lot of what she says, but picks up the gist, and that what she is saying has something to do with your father, nodding along shyly as she speaks.

So in the end here you are, sitting in state in one of the little rooms off the main court of Gyeongbokgung, greeting the seemingly endless stream of guests while Jeongguk entertains everyone, including his 97-line buddies, outside. Thank God, your girl friends are happy to stay in the room with you, alongside a couple of the lovely junior Hybe staff girls, who make sure that you’re kept looking as fresh as a daisy and have plenty of water and fruit. Ellie, Mai and Yugyeom’s wife, Cass keep you entertained, periodically checking on what the boys are up to and reporting back. Meanwhile, your mother and your best friend are being looked after by your brother, nephew and Japanese sister-in-law who at least have some East Asian cultural awareness, although Jeongguk has made sure they have a translator with them as none of them speak any Korean.

Finally, one of the senior Hybe girls comes back into the room. The girl bows deeply and tells you that it’s time to come out, as the officials have arrived, and the kunbere ceremony is due to begin. Trying not to feel nervous all over again, you adjust your hanbok, letting the staff girls check you over and your girls check your hair and makeup, then they all fan out ahead of you to take their places in the prettily-decorated seats that are neatly laid out in blocks with a ribbon-lined aisle down the centre, leading up to the dais where you glimpse the celebrant, the MC and your beautiful fiance waiting patiently, patting his cheek with the back of his hand, then adjusting his dark purple bangs fastidiously.

Followed by your mother and future mother-in-law, you step out into the fairy-lit courtyard and step into the aisle as musicians begin to play a lilting wedding tune-version of “Euphoria”. Jeongguk smiles at you quickly, then lowers his eyes, still shy at having one of his songs as the wedding march. His eyes are sparkling more than the fairy lights as you join him on the dais. He takes your hand in a pure, innocent gesture of affection, and you both step in front of the celebrant. His hand is soft and warm and you feel a rush of love for him as he tilts his head to catch your eye again, and sends you a tiny smile.

The actual ceremony is, of course, standardly Korean - short and sweet. Jeongguk says his vows with heartfelt sincerity, his low, husky speaking-voice making you catch your breath. You speak your vows slowly and clearly, careful to get your pronunciation right, as he watches you, smiling his gentle encouragement. You share the traditional glass of wine, though you’re more than happy to leave him the lion’s share of the contents, grimacing as you swallow the bitter liquid. You laugh softly at his pantomime, eyes wide over the rim of the glass as he quickly downs the remains.

You both bow to your guests, then make your way back down the aisle as the musicians play - this time an instrumental of So-u-ju, that Jeongguk seems less shy about, judging by his mischievous wink at Yugyeom and Jimin as you pass them. You’re headed down to Busan tomorrow morning, to stay at Gamcheon Culture Village for your brief honeymoon (which Jeongguk has insisted include a tour of Haedong Yonggungsa Temple), but you’ve decided to hold the post-wedding banquet at the Signiel Hotel, where you’ll then spend your wedding night. Jeongguk is full of suggestive whispers as you share some champagne in the limo, but you laugh gently and tease him that he probably won’t last the night, if he keeps up the pace with his drinking. He looks mock-offended, staring at you open-mouthed as you dutifully pour him another drink.

“Wae?!” he reprimands you, before taking the glass in both hands and draining the contents, his beautiful, dark eyes fixed on yours.

“Ah, was that too disrespectful, nae nampyeon-nim?” you amend quickly, bowing your head. You’re still nervous that you won’t adapt to being a good Korean wife, or that, due to cultural expectations you may not be aware of, Kookie will expect different behaviour from you now that you’re married. He seems to understand your nervousness because he smiles at you, cute and places the glass on the little glass-topped counter by your shared bench-seat.

“You don’t have to use -nim,” he tells you, gently. “Especially not when we are alone. And the teasing is fine too. I would prefer if you are respectful when we are in company, just because that’s what is expected for…” he pauses, looking for the correct term.

“Face?” you suggest. He nods, shy.

“Yes. For saving face in Korea, it’s best for how people see both of us if my wife is respectful. Especially because I’ve married a foreigner and sometimes people can be...unsure with that. But when we’re alone like this nothing will change.”

“Okay, babydoll,” you murmur, drawn in again by his lovely lips. He returns your kiss, then lets you cuddle up to him as he polishes off the rest of the champagne. He’s pretty intoxicated by the time you arrive at the hotel, but if anything it’s just made him more flirty so your only worry is keeping the festivities PG-rated. This concern deepens as you come out of your hotel room bathroom in your reception attire and his hands go straight around you, stroking the exposed skin at the base of the plunging back of your dress.

“You look fire, jagi,” he purrs into your ear. You giggle and pull slightly back still in his embrace, fixing your earrings so that they won’t get caught in the loose locks of your hairdo.

“You don’t look so bad yourself, mister,” you compliment him, taking in his black dress suit, satiny black shirt and gold chain necklace. “Wait, excuse me, what’s this though?” you laugh softly. He looks mischievous, like he knows exactly what you’re talking about, but he has to tease you first.

“C’mon, noona. You know I hate ties,” he pouts, brushing imaginary lint off his lapels. You give him a wry look.

“Yes. I know. And you know that’s not what I’m referring to,” you persist, trailing your finger down his chest, where his shirt is unbuttoned halfway down to his waist. He sticks his tongue out cheekily and grabs your hand to pull you out the door into the main corridor.

Sighing and shaking your head, you follow him over to the elevator, trotting to keep up in your heels. You get a little round of applause when you walk into the grand ballroom together, holding hands and then you’re free to mingle and graze on the banchan while they cook the meat you’ve ordered.

BamBam tells you, blushing a little, that you look pretty and you feel a sudden pang of guilt as you realize, with the full force of hindsight, that he has always been very sweet towards you and that there might have been something behind that. Jeongguk looks away, pushing his tongue into his cheek, then jealously pulls you over to examine the cake you’re going to cut later.

“Come on, JK. He was just being polite,” you caution him.

“He’s always thought you were pretty. He used to say so when we all hung out,” Jeongguk pouts, downing another shot of soju.

“Yet he’s always been a perfect gentleman. And then here I am, married to you,” you point out, stroking a tendril of his hair away from his eyes. He twists his lips in acknowledgement of this fact, then turns his attention to the cake.

“Is it mint choc?” he checks, anxiously. You hold back a giggle and regard him with a serious face.

“That’s what we asked for, so I imagine so,” you reassure him, keeping your eyes modestly down. He smiles and takes your face in his hands, kissing you lingeringly.

Of course, Yugyeom and Cass, having overheard this exchange, don’t miss the chance to wreck a little havoc:

“Wow, gross. Planning on eating the entire thing yourselves then?” Cass needles you mischievously.

“That’s a very tight dress, noona,” Yugyeom observes, sizing you up and taking in JK’s barely-concealed predatory gaze following your every move. He clears his throat and catches his wife’s eye. “I mean I’m assuming it’s just to make sure you don’t catch any chestnuts at the pyebaek?”

“No,” you tell him. “We’re just going to skip it altogether, sorry to disappoint, Yugs.” Yugyeom looks a little scandalized, but Jeongguk just raises his eyebrow in confirmation and points out that ‘I’m all the babie Noona will ever need, anyway,’ whilst cuddling you back against him and pouting for another kiss, with which you oblige him willingly.

“Ha! Not to mention all the trouble she’ll ever need,” Yugyeom adds, sotto voce as Jeongguk swipes himself another bottle of soju. You pretend not to hear Yugyeom, and turn the focus back on the only-recently married couple.

“So how many chestnuts did Cassandra catch?” you ask them teasingly. Yugyeom cuddles his Dutch-Australian wife in turn, lifting her hair away to kiss her neck.

“Enough,” he gloats, making her laugh and elbow him good-naturedly.

You girls let the boys rib each other playfully, and you’re careful to join the fray only when called upon by your new husband to back him up. You must pass the test, because in the end Yugyeom concedes playfully that ‘wow, you’ve trained her well. She’s transformed from our savage noona into a perfect little Korean wife in a matter of hours,’ which makes Jeongguk preen a little. You and Cass chat for a while, then you finally catch a moment to have a proper chat with your best friend, making Jeongguk sulk a little as he tries to follow the rather intense and rapid-fire conversation. Cass sidles up to Jeongguk, looking amused, and pulls him aside.

“Don’t worry about it JK,” she reassures him. “They’ve known each other forever and I’m not entirely sure anyone else speaks their private language. It’s not an English thing and it’s not a romantic thing either. Anyway, she loves you to bits, so that’s not a fight worth having.” Jeongguk nods his understanding, then returns to your side, resting his chin on your shoulder and watching you fondly, as you speak and listen animatedly. You notice he’s there at the same time your best friend does and you both smile at him and readjust your conversation so that he can follow along comfortably.

“Right,” your best friend announces after a short while longer, “I shall release you into the custody of this incredibly attractive young man, and go acquire some delicious Korean cuisine for myself.” He smiles at Jeongguk, congratulates him and makes his way over to the buffet. Jeongguk looks after him, a little bewildered, then kisses you insistently and a little possessively.

“Come back down to our room with me for a bit,” he murmurs against your lips, nipping your bottom one for emphasis.

“You’re naughty, Kookie,” you murmur back. “We’re literally in the middle of our own wedding reception at a very fancy hotel.”

“But I can’t stop thinking about what’s under this...very...tight...dress,” he growls, his hands stroking their way up your naked back.

“I’m not taking this dress off, jagiya,” you warn him.

“I didn’t say you had to,” he purrs. “Come on...don’t you want me to fuck you while you’re looking out at that gorgeous view we have down there?”

“Is the view going to be gone when we go down later?” you tease, feigning shock.

“Aishh...jebal, noona~~” he whines, maknae-vibe on full-power.

“Joha, joha…” you pacify him, kissing him again, before letting him lead you out of the ballroom and back over to the elevator. “But we have to be quick or people will wonder where we’ve gone.”

“We’ll be back before the cake,” he assures you, pulling on your hand. The elevator is empty when it arrives, so he picks you up, rests you on the corner of the handrail that runs around the mirrored walls and kisses you hungrily. You can taste the soju and champagne on his breath. His cheeks are flushed high up on his cheekbones, and his hands are warm on your stockinged thighs, making your skin tingle. He drops his kisses under your jaw and down to your neck, his hands sliding up towards your chest. You’re just getting concerned how far he’s going to take this, when the elevator pings, shudders to a stop and the doors slide open to reveal two elegant-looking young women whose eyes widen in embarrassment at your extracurricular necking.

“Oh! Um…” the taller one murmurs, as they hesitate before edging into the elevator with you. You apologize profusely and move Jeongguk’s hands away from your chest, smoothing your dress fussily. He flicks his bangs, dabs at his face with the back of his hand and winks at the girl who spoke. Something clicks and they both stare at him in recognition, eyes flicking quickly to the tattoos on his hand.

“Jeon Jeongguk?” the second girl blurts whilst the other opens her mouth to say something, then changes her mind and shuts it again. Jeongguk grins mischievously and inclines his head in acknowledgement of their recognition of him.

“Oh! Is this your…?” the first girl hesitates again, shy.

“Jae anae. Ruby,” he finishes for her. You catch his eye, then bow your head to the two girls, awaiting their insa. They introduce themselves quickly and you let them have him to themselves as you finish the elevator ride, keeping your eyes modestly down and trying not to give them anything negative to report to their friends. They seem lovely, respectful ARMY though, and Jeongguk is more than happy to chat to them and sign them autographs before you arrive at your floor.

“Come, jagi,” he tells you softly, waving to the girls as you get out. You nod to them both politely and follow him down the corridor, your heart palpitating as you remember anew that this gorgeous man is now your legally-wedded husband.

You’re barely through the door of your room before he picks you up, hiking your legs to encircle his waist and kissing you messily.

“Oh wait, wait…” he whispers, with a giggle. “Get down a sec.” You do as he asks, wondering what he’s forgotten, but he just slides his warm hands up the slit in your dress, hooks his fingers into your panties and tugs at them impatiently, as he discovers they won’t do his bidding, threatening instead to become tangled in your garter-straps.

“Let me do it Kookie,” you tell him. You carefully unclip your stockings, slide your panties off and then reclip the stockings, knowing he loves the look and feel of them on your legs. He gives you a predatory smile, then traces his fingers from your knee, up your leg and straight up inside you, without any warning.

“Jeongguk-ah!” you yelp, shocked.

“Mwo?!” he asks, eyes wide as if he’s not being a dreadful tease. “Ah shibal...you’re making me so hard,” he breathes, closing his eyes and grabbing your hand to press it against his dress pants so that you can feel his erection growing and stiffening under the material. “ Nae jaji-reul bbarayo jurae ?” he begs.

“What? How will I enjoy the view if I do that?” you tease him. You kiss him hard on the lips, feeling him smile and his eyelashes flutter against your cheek as he opens his eyes again.

“You bitch,” he laughs softly, nipping your bottom lip again and teasing you with his tongue. He pushes you onto your knees in front of him, making it very clear that he’s not going to accept ‘no’ as an answer. You undo his pants, pausing briefly to admire his two rings now adorning your ring finger, then wrap your lips around his cock.

“Fuck yes,” he groans, his hands moving from your shoulders to the back of your head as you start to suck him off. You let him guide your pace as you bob your head up and down and let your tongue alternately caress his shaft and glide over his tip, but you quickly come off him when you feel his hip-thrusts start to get messier.

“Oh jinjja?!” he complains, his teeth gritted in mild frustration. You sit back on your heels and give him an appraising look.

“Hm - why did we come down here again?” you ask him, pouting in aegyo.

“Because you look fire and I can’t resist you,” he purrs, raising you to your feet, and flicking his tongue out to tangle with yours in a heated kiss. “Unf...naega ni boji mangateurilkkeoya…” he moans, his hands already sliding up your dress again.

“I dare you…” you tantalize him, taking one of his hands off your leg and guiding him over to the little balcony off your room, that overlooks the city and Hangang. He whines at being impeded from his mission, but smiles when he sees that you’re going to let him continue. You take in the city lights with pleasure, turning your head to follow the river as it winds its way through the two halves of the city. Closing your eyes briefly, you let the gentle breeze and the sounds of the midnight city wash over you. You sense Jeongguk quietly admiring the city you’ve both come to love beside you and open your eyes to smile at him. The heat in his gaze is burning you up as he kisses you a little wildly, his hands going straight for the half-moons of your breasts exposed above the dress’s neckline.

“You can’t wear this anymore after tonight,” he teases. “It’s not cool to show off this much...yubang...in Korea.”

“You picked it out,” you huff, tilting his head to kiss his neck as his hands get more insistent.

“So?” he sasses you, making you laugh indignantly.

Twirling you around and bending you over the guard-wall of the balcony with one hand, he uses the other to get the skirt of the offending garment out of his way and then you feel his cock go straight up inside you as his hands relocate to your hips. He’s true to his word, pulling you back onto him at a jackhammer pace and making you beg for mercy. You struggle to keep your balance, your legs shaking as he pounds you more relentlessly than he ever has before. You sense that whatever he’s held back until tonight he’s releasing now in one tidal wave of passion and you respond to his needy sighs and moans with a litany of appreciative moans of your own, which he seems to love from his reaction and the nibbles you get on your neck.

Finally you feel his legs tremble and his hips shudder and then a wave of orgasm hits you both, making your own legs give way. He’s quick as a flash though, catching you gently in his arms and sweeping you up to carry you over to the bed. He leans down and kisses you messily but tenderly.

“We should go back up, jagi. I just had to get that out of my system,” he laughs apologetically. You give him a look and laugh as well, shaking your head. “Well it’s your fault. I couldn’t keep my hands off you in that dress,” he defends himself cheekily.

The rest of the night goes off without a hitch, though both you and he are a little the merrier for the soju by the time you finally see your guests off and head back to your room, your heels dangling from your hand and his shirt untucked and buttoned even more haphazardly than it was at the beginning of your reception. He’s also somehow acquired a black cowboy hat, which he has lowered coquettishly over one eye, and which you relieve him of in the elevator, with an exasperated sigh.

“Whose is this, jagiya?” you ask him, tilting your head to catch his eye and try to make him confess. He giggles, shrugs and admits he has no idea, so you just bring it with you and leave it on the low table in your room, ready for whoever to claim. Jeongguk collapses onto the bed and pulls you down by his side with a lopsided smile.

“Mmm...let’s have a bath,” he yawns. You give him a suspicious look, but he laughs and waves his hand to ward off impure thoughts. “Ani, ani...I’m 100% satiated. But the view in there,” he defends himself. “Besides…” Another yawn. “I love traditional Korean-style baths. And I love it when you smell like soap and vanilla,” he bargains, knowing that you’ve brought his favourite body wash in your bags. You smile in surrender, dig up the desired vanilla body wash, quickly strip off your dress and wrap yourself in one of the towels. He’s already stripped naked and submerged himself in the water, so you bring him a couple of towels and step into the bath to join him, both facing the spectacular view of Hangang, with the Seoul N Tower sparkling in the distance.

“Ah, cheonguk with Jeongguk,” you sigh, melting into his arms. He laughs softly at your terrible joke, and strokes your hair gently. “I love Seoul,” you murmur, awestruck as always by the beauty of the city at night.

“Mm...me too,” he murmurs, sounding sleepy.

“I can’t wait for you to show me Busan properly though,” you chirp, excited at the prospect of your planned week around his hometown. He kisses your forehead.

“Me neither,” he hums. You watch him sleepily, noting he looks even more tired than you feel, but the thought doesn’t make you feel anxious about your wedding night, just deliciously safe as he lifts his heavily tattooed right arm to reach for the body wash and you shift cozily against his other side.

“Let me?” you ask him shyly. He looks surprised, but then smiles and hands you the bottle, inclining his head and gesturing his consent to your proposal. Tingling with anticipation, you bathe him slowly, letting your hands linger on his beautiful body and enjoying being able to pamper him like this. When you’re done, he kisses you by way of a thank you, then tells you it’s his turn to return the favour. You lean back and try not to feel self-conscious as his hands trace every inch of your body. Eventually your eyes slide shut, so you gasp when you feel his lips on yours, then his arms around your back and under your legs. Tired as he is, he manages to lift you out of the bath and onto the wooden floor, where he wraps you in one of the fluffy hotel towels and himself in another.

“Come on, Mrs Jeon Jeongguk,” he whispers, cute, in your ear. “Bedtime.”

“Mmm...I love you so much Jeongguk-ah,” you mumble, towelling yourself off and following him across to the bed.

“I love you too, jagiya,” he purrs, crawling into the bed stark naked and pulling you in beside him. He throws his arms around you again and pulls you back against him, spooning you. “Shibal, I could get used to this…” he murmurs as you both finally drift off to sleep.

THE END

Glossary: (feel free to submit corrections for these ^.^)

Kaja/Kayo [가자/가요] = the informal versions of “let’s go”. The first is strictly for use with those your age and younger. The second is more polite but not formal

Banmal/jondaemal [반말/존댖말] = informal speech, reserved for intimate relationships or people your age or younger/formal speech used for elders etc

“Nuguseyo?” [누구세요?] “Who is this please?”

“Nae yeochin” [내 요친] “My girlfriend” [informal version]

“Annyeong. Junghyun-i-e-yo”/”Ruby-ye-yo.” [안녕. 정현에요/루비예요] = Hi. I’m Junhyun”/”I’m Ruby” in informal speech. Fine if we had known each other longer, though he is younger but for first meeting someone older, formal speech would be the norm. Hence JK’s correction.

“Mianhamnida.” [미안합니다] = “Sorry” in formal language.

“Gwaenchaenayo” [괜찮아요] = “It’s okay/fine”

“I saram-eun nae yeojachingu Ruby-noona-ipnida” [이 사람은 제 요자치누 루비누나입니다] = “This person is my girlfriend, Ruby-noona.” [in formal speech, of course]

Jigeum dangjang wanjonhi manjokhamniyo? [지금 당장 완전히 만족함니요?] = “Are you completely satisfied right now?”/wanjonhi [ 완전히] = “Completely.”

Yanolja hotel [야놀자] = “Love hotel” where Koreans can go when they still live with their parents or others to sleep together. Not as seedy as in Western culture and you can rent them by the hour.

“ Ot beoso-bwa: Neorang jago shipeo.” [옺 벗어봐: 나 너랑 자고싶어] = “Take your clothes off: I want to sleep with you.”

"Neukkimi-wa!” [느낌이와] = “I’m starting to get off” (’feel it’)

Gibun joha!” [기붅좋아] = “This feels really good” (slang)

“Eung, ne ranjeri joha.” [응, 네 란제리 좋아] “Yeah (v. informal) I love your lingerie.”

“Nomu yeppeoyo” [노무 예뻐요] = “You’re so pretty.”

“Jeongguk, do-yo” [정국, 도요] = “You too, Jeongguk.”

“Maltagi haeboja?” [말타기 해보자?] = “Wanna try woman on top? (literally ‘riding the horse’)

“Ssalkeogata?” [쌀거같아] = “Are you cumming?”

“Odi-ro hallae?” [어디로 할래?] = “Where do you want it? (as in where do you want him to cum?)”

“Eolgul-eso.” [ 얼굴 에서] = “On my face/facial.”

Taegeukgi [태국기] = The Korean flag (as in your clothes and the bedsheets make you look like the flag - Korean couples often wear red and blue when they marry with the woman in red, so that’s what JK is implying that you miss).

“Narang gyeolhonhae juseyo?” [나랑 결혼해 주세요?] = Will you please marry me?

“Moksari-ga tteolryeo.” [목소리 가 떨려] = “My voice is shaking.” (cute random fact: I stole this from what he actually says when he’s doing covers on V Live and he’s cold, cos it’s adorable)

Ne! sucheon bon-iyo! [네, 수천 번이요!] = “Yes! A thousand times!”

“Nae nampyeon-nim.” [내 남편-님] = “My husband” (but the addition of ‘nim’ is the most formal honorific in Korean, so you are trying to be very respectful as a response to his “wae?” (Why? Kind of equivalent to “hey!” or “wtf?!” in English, in this context)

Pyebaek [펴백] = a ceremony where the bride tries to catch chestnuts in her hanbok to see how many children the couple will have.

“Je anae” [제아내] = “My wife” (formal ‘my’ as he doesn’t know them) Cute fact 2: ‘anae’ literally means ‘inside’ in Korean cos your wife is your person you have inside.

“Mwo” [뭐], “Jinjja” [진짜] and “jagi”/”jagiya” [자기/자기야] I assume people know but just in case! They are respectively “What?”, “For real?”/”Seriously?” and “Babe”/”Baby” as a term of affection...

“Nae jaji-reul bbarayo jurae?” [내자지를빨아요줄래?] = “Can you suck my dick?”

“Naega ni [ne] boji-ga mangatteurilkkeoya.” [내가 니 보지 망가뜨릴꺼야] = “I’m going to destroy/ruin your pussy.”

Yubang [유방] = ‘Tits’

Cheonguk [천국] = Heaven. So the bad joke is his name sounds similar to the word for Heaven in Korean.

12 notes · View notes

agustdef · 4 years ago

Text

With All My Heart

Pairing: Tattoo Artist!Hoseok x Doctor!Reader.

Genre: Established Relationship; Angst; Fluff

Word Count: 11K

Warning: Angsty. Language...?; Mention of Death; Mentions of mental health struggles

Rating: PG15

Banner Maker: @httpangelicjimin who was wonderful enough to remake this one after realized the other wouldn’t work and then proceeded to use it for I Found You.

Beta Reader: @suhdays who knew I was in a rush and was kind enough to offer to beta it for me without me asking.

When Hoseok came home from his last appointment, he found the apartment mostly silent and way cleaner than when he’d left that morning. Probably cleaner than after the weekly Sunday morning routine was finished, which was impressing and worrisome. But also made him hopeful.

After discarding his shoes and jacket at the door, he headed to the bedroom where he found YN already settled into bed. She wore a large shirt – with the words fight me with a leprechaun on front – that she’d probably stolen from Yoongi’s closet during their last visit, her bonnet, and a koala face mask. Her eyes were focused on the TV on the wall opposite their bed and she hummed along with the intro to the anime she was watching.

It was the most relaxed he’d seen her in weeks.

“Hey baby,” he said.

That drew her attention towards him, and she smiled when they locked eyes, though that stopped as soon as her mask shifted. She was happy to see him and had missed him after the day she’d spent alone. Not that she was lonely or anything, but it felt nice to break away from being by herself.

“Hi. You’re home early. I thought you had to work on that big piece tonight?” she said.

That made Hoseok annoyed in an instant. He huffed and rolled his eyes while his fingers ran through his hair. The memory of the evening he had before, and after he finished what turned into his last client filled his head.

“She called and said she couldn't make it. Which was fine, because I wasn't up to working on it tonight anyway. I'm still feeling sick I guess. But, then she kept changing her mind, and when she finally decided to come - and said she was on her way - she didn't come at all. No response to calls or any of the messages I sent. But I was scrolling through the shop's feed while waiting for my other person only to see her at some other shop we follow getting a different tattoo. I just told her that if she wasn’t going to honor appointments and give me the run around, then we weren’t the right fit.”

In response YN frowned. It was clear how annoyed and tired he was, even without the added stress of a wishy washy, client who just thought they could do whatever the hell they wanted when requesting someone’s time. She wanted to knock the girl upside her head, but it wasn’t realistic, and she’d never go out of her way to attack someone. Though the idea of cussing her out if she appeared at the shop when YN was around didn’t seem too terrible of a plan.

However, that wasn’t something that either of them lingered on long because Hoseok sneezed five times in a row and by the third he seemed wiped out.

YN took off her mask and threw it in the trash near her side of the bed before hopping up. She opened her bedside table and pulled out a thermometer, which she quickly freed from its little bad as she rounded the bed to where he stood. Hoseok knew better than to argue so his mouth opened before she even raised her arm to stick it in.

They stood there for a moment staring at each other, until they heard the beep and when YN looked at the temperature she winced.

“You went up so much since this morning. You’re practically at fever levels. Go take a shower and get in bed. I’ll get some stuff for you to take,” she said.

There was no way Hoseok would argue with how he felt. It was like once he was at home and stopped moving his body had started to give up. He felt heavy and he ached a little here and there. His head also felt a little weird, but he chalked up part of that to being frustrated. So, once she stepped away from him he dragged himself to the bathroom.

By the time he finished his shower and pulled on some clothes, YN was already back in the room. She’d had a bowl, a mug, and a glass of water sitting on the table near his side of the bed. And she was unfolding a blanket, which Hoseok recognized as one the weighted ones. It was something that YN pulled out whenever one of them was having a tough time sleeping or in general, and when they got sick. Something about the thing eased the body into relaxation that neither of them had ever felt before.

When she noticed his arrival, she smiled at him and patted the bed. Hoseok moved as quickly as his body would allow him and plopped down onto the bed. Before he could do much else she placed the bowl into his hands.

“It’s a mix of the broths from the soup your mom brought and that Mama Min brought. You are to never tell them that I did this. Or that while both are good they taste next level combined. I will not be killed because I took care of you,” she said.

At that Hoseok laughed, and then drank down the broth. YN wasn’t wrong about it being better combined, which was part of the reason he downed it despite the burn he felt. Naturally, YN chastised him as he did because she could see the pain on his face, but he paid her no mind. Once finished, she replaced the bowl with the mug and one look inside had him sitting it down.

“You know I don’t like that version of ginseng. Why can’t I drink the other one?” he whined.

“Because it’s the kind that helps you the most and it hides the taste of the medicine you hate so much. This is your own fault for being a wimp and not wanting to drink it down by itself. So drink it,” she said.

Of course, he didn’t do it right away. Hoseok stared YN down and attempted his best puppy dog eyes and pout, but was met with an unamused expression that became more uncaring as each second passed. That didn’t deter hum though, at least not for about a minute or so when it was clearly she only grew more impatient with him.

With a huff he grabbed the mug and quickly downed the shot of ginseng and medicine. He winced in reaction to how bitter it was and immediately snatched the glass of water up as YN took the mug from him. Once he’d downed that as well she grabbed all the dishes and headed out of the bedroom.

“Get comfortable in bed,” she called back.

Upon return she had both of their 34oz water bottles filled up and ready for them to drink through the night if need be. Which for Hoseok was often while sick and because she’d caught a little of his cold she too needed a few sips at random times if she woke up.

After giving it to him, she climbed into bed and slid under the blanket. It may have been summer but they tended to keep their room on the colder side, which meant that they wouldn’t overheat just because they slept under them; which was good because YN needed to be under a blanket to sleep.

Getting comfortable didn’t take them long, since they were both so wiped out from their days. And despite Hoseok’s sickness they cuddled together, because unlike him YN continued her dose of medicine until it was gone. She knew she wasn’t one hundred percent better even when the symptoms appeared to have left her completely.

They stayed cuddled together for about half an hour watching what YN had on before he’d come home. Nothing felt tense or awkward in their silence, just comfortable and relaxed.

But as time went on Hoseok remembered the feeling he’d had upon his arrival home. The worry that filled him when he saw how much she’d cleaned by herself in the time he’d been gone. And the hope he’d had at knowing she’d found enough energy to even make the effort to clean that much in the first place. She’d been out of it for weeks and it was the first major sign that something changed. Or that’s what he wished for.

Hoseok turned his head to look at her, well more like assess her face. It was relaxed and she seemed genuinely interested in what was on the screen and not off in her own little world. Though once she realized he was staring she turned his way and his assessment was over almost as quickly as it began.

“Can I help you?” she asked, her brow raised.

For a moment Hoseok debated telling her no, but that didn’t sit right with him. He needed to say something or it would bother him until he blurted it out. Or there was a chance she’d bottle it all up and not say anything at all because she was fine or she didn’t want to dump on him because he wasn’t her therapist.

“How was your session?” he asked.

There was a momentary change in her expression, but she didn’t let it linger for long. That made him even more worried, but he waited for her to say something. Though he knew if she was holding back and if he should push her.

“It was fine, I guess. Less crying than usual. We talked about all my other issues and saved how I was feeling about my mom for last. I think she hoped that by keeping me in a time constraint of twenty minutes I’d be forced to get out the main issues first and avoid going off into tangents. She was very wrong about that and the appointment ran for half an hour longer than it should have. I’d gotten so worked up that it wasn’t wise to try to force me down quickly,” she said.

Hoseok nodded along and reached under the blanket to grab her hand but didn’t utter a word. Just like her therapist he wanted her to let things out at her own pace.

“I mean it’s getting easier, but I don’t know. How is one supposed to process the death of their mother? And it doesn’t help that on top of that it’s dealing with how we were estranged. Knowing that my mix of apathy and deep hurt are valid. That it’s okay that I’m not as torn up about her dying as I think I should be. That I’m not torn up about losing a chance at speaking to the sibling that I never wanted to deal with because he moved back to the US. Dealing with calls from a slew of aunts and uncles who regularly give no fucks about me, questioning why I’m not there, and why I chose not to be heavily involved in the process. Why I could only show up. Why I didn’t stay longer.”

The more she spoke the shakier her voice got and it broke Hoseok’s heart. She was getting better and he knew that, but he always knew it was a lot to overcome. The loss of her only parent, despite their relationship, was something hard to deal with or so he imagined it. It had even affected Yoongi a great deal since he’d been close to her before too, but he recovered faster.

More than anything, Hoseok wished he could find some magic way to lessen the pain and confusion for her, but he felt just as helpless as when she found out. She’d come to the shop when she still had six hours of her twelve hour shift left to go and looked in shock. Without a word she’d run into Yoongi’s arms as he’d come out of his room after hearing Jungkook’s frantic calls. There she burst into tears, and through the sobbing told them that her mother had been in a car accident and didn’t make it.

None of them, except Yoongi, had ever seen her cry that hard and he tried his best to be her rock, but he broke with her. They broke down in the middle of the shop, falling to their knees as they cried together. The boys decided to close after that and just let them cry, comforting them when they could. And at some point they called Beau and Mama Min to tell them what had happened.

From there, they had to wait until they were calm enough to get them in a car to head back to Yoongi’s place. There they were met by Beau and Mama Min, who accepted them with open arms. The sobbing started all over again and they slowly got them to calm down enough to eat and shower. Everyone assumed it was a sleepover kind of situation, so they’d gotten Jin and Taehyung to swing by their places to grab stuff for them.

The entire night was just everyone surrounding YN on the makeshift nest they’d made. She never once let go of Yoongi’s hand and he didn’t dare release hers. And as they slept she cuddled into Mama Min’s side holding onto her for dear life with her other hand.

Seeing her shattered like that was eye opening for Hoseok, and he tried his best to make sure she was okay. Work gave her two weeks off, but when she didn’t bounce back quickly they extended the leave for a little longer. Then when that ran out she used vacation time she’d saved up. That was the start of when she actually made progress in not being a shell of her former self and Hoseok would tell her to take off all the time in the world if it meant that she’d be better.

But, as Hoseok sat there thinking about how he wished there was something he could do to fix things he realized there was something he could at least try to make her feel a bit better. And it would allow him to do something that he’d been wanting to for a while.

Smiling at her he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead before pulling away and staring into her eyes.

“We haven’t gone out in a while. So, what do you say about us and everyone going out to the beach for a week? We can do it next week too. Go to the beach house and hang out, have some fun,” he said.

For a moment it felt like she’d say no, especially because she looked so emotional, but then she nodded. And Hoseok watched as a smile worked its way onto her lips, bigger and more genuine than he’d seen in a while.

“That sounds like what I need,” she said.

Happy with that, Hoseok leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to her lips before pulling away and snuggling into her. They continued their comfortable cuddly night in and slowly drifted to sleep together. Hoseok’s mind focused on planning things out perfectly until he knocked out.

The day before they were to leave to head to the beach house YN had planned to spend it packing and relax because the journey was tiresome. However, Hoseok had other plans and just as she finished packing her stuff he called her to come down to the shop for the night. Saying no was an option, but he sounded so excited that she couldn’t help but say yes.

So, on a Friday night when she could’ve been in her home eating and playing video games she found herself in Hoseok’s tattoo room by herself. Upon her arrival she’d been told he’d run out for a second and would be back in a bit. And in that case a bit meant thirty minutes or so after she got there.

Annoyed was an understatement, especially when she saw that he read the texts she’d sent asking him where he was. When it got too much, she got up to leave, but the moment she put her hand on the knob she was stumbling back because the door was being pushed open from the outside.

Hoseok – sweaty and breathing heavily – held bags of food and balanced multiple drinks in a tray. His eyes were wide and his mouth open in that uncomfortable mouth breathing way. Like YN could see the man’s uvula clear as day.

For a while they stood there staring at each other, that was until Hoseok regained control of his breathing.

“Were you about to leave?”

“Yes. You asked me to come at a specific time and you’re not here. Then I have to wait over thirty minutes where you open and don’t respond to my texts. How much longer did you think I was going to stay? Especially since you asked me to come here when I planned to not leave the couch until I absolutely had to all night,” she said.

At that Hoseok frowned. Moving past her a little he placed the stuff down in the tattoo chair that was reclined back. Then he moved to stand in front of her, his hands cupped her face. He stared at her expression and saw the slight bags under her eyes and the lingering sadness. She’d done so well for almost a week following his proposal of the beach trip, but the last day or two something shifted.

Her mother’s husband had found a way to contact her and it had thrown her off. Though the conversation had gone well it had brought her two steps back. Hoseok had woken up to her crying in the middle of the night and through the tears she’d managed to say that she felt like she was doing something wrong despite knowing she wasn’t. Despite knowing she was doing what was best for her and her mental state she felt like it was all wrong. Overthinking her decisions needlessly. The next morning – after he’d gotten her to sleep – she apologized and told him she knew that she was right and having a conversation with her mother’s husband that didn’t go horribly or fill her with anger felt off.

Things got better after that, but it took more than a moment of clarity and a talk with her therapist over the phone to get her back to where she’d been before. And that was why Hoseok had come up with the idea to call her into the shop. Well Jungkook and Taehyung came up with the idea to take her out before they all left, but he came up with what they’d do.

“I know, but I wanted to do something before we left. I swear we shouldn’t be here all night and I got that burger you were craving,” he said, a pout formed on his lips.

The usual thing would be for YN to throw the smallest of fits because she felt so tired, but his stupid face was there and she couldn’t say no. Plus she hadn’t left the apartment much in a week and needed the change of scenery even if it wasn’t a major one.

YN sighed. “Fine.”

With her answer and the small smile he saw fighting to take form on her lips Hoseok finally stopped his pouting. Leaning forward he pressed a quick kiss to her lips before releasing his hold on her face and moving over to the food. He carefully removed everything from the bags and then ran to put two of the four drinks in the tray into his mini freezer.

All the while YN stood and watched him; she hadn’t wanted to get in the way of what he was doing. The man could be anal about how things were handled when he was attempting to make some nice gesture and she’d been on the end of one of his glares before. Though she knew he wasn’t actually mad she knew not to push it further. There was no need for her to deal with a pouty baby later because things veered off plan; especially since she’d shown up before he could get back.

“Okay, so I know you were craving a burger and I went to the place you like and got you a double cheeseburger with extra pickles and a large fry. Also, a sprite and a chocolate milkshake,” he said.

Hearing him list the things made something stir inside YN. After giving into him she’d gotten less annoyed, but that hadn’t meant her mood shifted completely. Despite not being actively sad she felt down and having him get her the thing she’d been craving and getting her out of the house brightened her day. The corners of her mouth even turned up in a smile, something that hadn’t graced her lips once since she’d arrived – or all that day for that matter.

So, she watched as he excitedly continued and reassured her that the things she didn’t like weren’t on the burger and that he thought it would be good for them to sit in his room to eat. There was something about another plan of his, but she barely heard him as she smiled and watched him closely. His smile grew as he excitedly spoke of his idea, causing her own to do the same.

Hoseok was mid-ramble when he noticed that she was smiling at him. A truly genuine one at that. It made his heart beat a little erratically, but he didn’t mind at all. YN’s happiness was his priority and it felt good for him to see that she looked happy, even for a moment.

“Should we start eating?” he asked.

She nodded and he moved one of his chairs over to her so she could sit down to eat her food at the tattoo chair. In many cases she’d object, but the smell of multiple disinfectants told her that he’d cleaned the thing multiple times before her arrival. Plus, he’d laid a paper you’d see when you went to the doctor over the seat, so there was an added barrier from the food and the not so cleanly people who sometimes sat in it.

Though her mouth watered at the smell and the visual of her food YN waited until Hoseok was seat in his own chair across from her. He gave her a pointed look that she knew well from all the times he got annoyed at her not just eating and she dug into it without a word.

Not speaking was something they maintained for a few minutes before Hoseok swallowed a bite that he barely chewed.

“Did you finish getting everything ready?” he asked.

She nodded, because unlike him she liked to chew her food quite a bit before swallowing it.

“Yeah. Everything of mine is packed, as well as stuff we need for the beach, most of the snacks, and I grabbed all your stuff but didn’t pack it.”

Hoseok scoffed. “Good.”

At that she couldn’t help but to roll her eyes.

“You could’ve just let me pack it all for you. That way you don’t have to worry about it when you get home. Plus, you’re going to ask me to help when something doesn’t fit anyway,” she mumbled.

“I can back my own stuff. I’m a big boy. Besides who says I’ll need your help this time, I’m not even taking a whole lot with me.”

There was no verbal response to that, just a shake of the head as she gave up on the topic. At the end of the day she knew she was right and that Hoseok would come to her whining about something not fitting right or being unable to zip the bag. And the solution would be to refold something, rearrange how things sat, or make him realize he didn’t need as many pairs of shoes as he packed. And he definitely didn’t need to bring multiple colors of the same chunky, ugly pair of shoes that she hated.

She wished she could burn them but he loved them too much.

From there silence persisted for a bit and then she randomly turned her head to see a sketch on his wall of an anime she’d watched a long time ago. Naturally, that started a whole conversation about it and how much Hoseok hadn’t liked it as a kid. Something about his sister forcing him to watch it and him not liking the main character. Which led to a discussion about other main characters they both didn’t like. It spiraled into the difference between characters made unlikable as a part of their stories and how some were just not great and people played them off as unlikable on purpose. That didn’t stop people critiquing them though. Definitely didn’t stop YN.

As they talked their food lessened until it was gone. Hoseok took the initiative to clean it up and directed YN to the freezer. She grabbed their shakes and sat the one that was clearly white and black down on his side, grabbing a straw and jabbing it into her own cup. Her lips wrapped around it to pull some of the frozen treat up, but she struggled with how thick it was. When she finally got some out she pulled away with a smile.

“I see it’s up to your standards of thick. Sure you don’t want a spoon?” he asked upon his return to the seat.

YN shook her head vigorously and went in for more. Part of her brain hated the struggle, but the joy that filled her each time she finally got some was too great. The thick milkshakes were always the best.

While she did that Hoseok moved to his computer and turned on some music, his usual tattooing playlist blasted through the speakers. He turned it down when he saw YN flinch and then slid his chair back over to the seat. He grabbed his own straw and milkshake and sucked it down. It was thick, but the normal kind. No part of him had the patience to wrestle with his food or drink, so despite how much creamier it was her way he chose not to suffer.

About half the milkshake was gone before he got up from the seat and snatched YN’s from her hand – despite protest – to put back in the freezer. When he turned around he was met with her pouting and he wanted to give it back but they had other things to do as well.

“There’s another reason I asked you to come,” Hoseok said.

“Which is?”

He didn’t respond, just gathered a few things and prepped his small rolling table for tattooing before pushing towards her. There was no time to process what he meant by the action because then he was whipping off his shirt and taking a seat in the tattoo chair.

His intentions were beyond clear.

“Today?” she asked.

“Today.”

“But I-”

“Aht, no buts. You’re ready to do this and you were so excited to get to tattoo an actual person. So, today you’re going to do me and then Yoongi another time. Probably the others too since they’re all babies who can’t be left out.” He rolled his eyes while he said the last bit.

“That’s so many, I didn’t sign up for that. And why now? I’m not prepared for this. I don’t even have the stencil ready or-”

Again she didn’t get far because Hoseok pointed to a sheet of paper on the table that had various copies of the tattoo they’d agreed on and a pair of scissors.

The man had truly taken the time to make sure that everything was set. Which was sweet, but also spiked YN’s nerves. So much that any sadness that she’d felt was nowhere on her mind.

Hesitation was clear on her face as Hoseok watched her and he worried she was stuck amid her sadness, but then he noticed the nervous glint in her eyes. He found it cute that the woman cut open people for a living and was worried about how her tattoo would come out. Even though she caught onto tattooing faster than anyone in the shop and had the steadiest hand of all of them.

Reaching over Hoseok cupped her face and forced her gaze on him.

“You’ll do fine. We chose this tattoo because it was quick and basic. Line work and some shading. You even did it a million times on oranges, lemons, and grapefruit. It’ll be great,” he encouraged.

There was an urge to protest, but YN didn’t. She rose from her seat and walked out of the room. She went to wash her hands and then came back to slip gloves onto them. She lifted the arm rest and placed his arm on it, careful to look around for a good spot. Hoseok was tattooed almost completely on both arms, but there was a spot on his left forearm that had enough space.

From there she was kind of on autopilot. She cut the stencil and placed it on the spot to double check that it would work. Once pleased she set it back on the table and grabbed an antiseptic wipe to clean the area. She spent way too much time on that, but Hoseok didn’t comment on it. Before she knew it she was actually placing the stencil onto his skin and peeling it off, the thin purple lines transferred perfectly.

By then the nerves had returned and she was ready to back down, but then she made eye contact with Hoseok and he gave her an encouraging smile. She couldn’t stop then, she needed to see the tattoo through.

She got the gun and the ink ready, but the vibe felt off. So, without a word she rolled over to the computer and pulled off a glove. There were several clicks before Jonghyun’s beautiful voice filled the space. It was the first song on her surgery playlist and in a way tattooing was like that, so it was the perfect relaxer.

After replacing the glove she took off with another one she got to work. The tip of the needle dipped into the black ink and using her free hand she pressed Hoseok’s arm down and began the tattoo.

The design was a crescent moon – which would be shaded in – and a sun combined. Where the moon stopped lines and dots of varying lengths were used to make clear that it was the sun. Nothing intricate, but still something she worried about messing up.

Her movements were careful and steady, her hand moving easily as she traced the outline of the moon. It took her shorter than she thought even with her excessive wiping, but she wasn’t pleased with the outcome. It wasn’t bad at all, basically perfect. However, she’d been so nervous that the lines were too thin.

“If you want it thicker you can do it. I know Yoongi worked with you on that the last few sessions. I only taught you to start with thinner lines just in case you’re unsure,” Hoseok offered as if he read her mind.

YN nodded, chewing on her lower lip as she went in again. That time her lines were a little heavier and though part of her worried that it was a mistake to make them that thick, by the time she’d finished and wiped the excess she was pleased with it.

Being happy with her outcome meant that she felt more confident, which meant she went into the next part with less worry. She shaded the moon in with vigor and had to mutter a few apologies when Hoseok whined about her being too aggressive. It was just that she got excited and so into the work.

Which meant that she didn’t notice Yoongi when he’d silently entered the room. He stood behind her, though about a foot away so he wasn’t crowding her. Him and Hoseok watched as she finished the shading and went on to the lines to create the sun. Her hand moved carefully as she did and though there were a few curses when she thought she messed up, there were also those lightbulb moments when she realized she could make up the length with a few extra dots. Nothing ruined at all.

Once finished she set the gun to the side and carefully used the other items on the table to clean it. Seeing the cleaned version had her scared it was a mess, but the more she stared at it the more she liked it.

“You did good. How the hell did you get that to curve so fluidly?” Yoongi said, startling her with his sudden presence.

“She was so worried she’d mess up, I told her it would be fine,” Hoseok said.

Involuntarily, YN rolled her eyes. They enjoyed double teaming her on everything, but self-doubt was by far their favorite.

“Let the man see the new tattoo,” Yoongi said, playful nudging her shoulder.

Her eyes widened as she remembered he couldn’t see it well from the angle he was at and she moved away from the chair so he could get up. Hoseok immediately went over to the floor length mirror hanging near the door. He held out his arm and examined it closely – and for way too long – without saying anything. If he hadn’t smiled before he spoke she would’ve thrown up in fear he hated it.

“I told you, you’d do good baby,” he said.

Tension melted from her body at that and Hoseok watched on in joy. Not only had she accomplished her first tattoo, but she also appeared genuinely happy. There was nothing about her that exuded sadness or showed that she was even vaguely in a low place. It didn’t mean she was completely free from the thoughts, but it did mean that she wasn’t caught up in them enough to show any outward reactions. And since she wasn’t the best at keeping her emotions hidden and bottled up that was a win.

From the eye contact he made with Yoongi for a moment the older male also appeared to think so. Flashing Hoseok a thumbs up when YN wasn’t looking.

The first part of Hoseok’s plan was a success.

The trip to the beach was long and started early. They’d rented a twelve-seater van to drive there and alternated drivers. Jungkook, Yoongi, and YN switched out every two hours so no one got too complacent or tired with the six hour drive. It was trying sometimes because of stupid drivers or someone complaining too much, but they made it there without anyone killing someone else.

A true win.

They arrived at the beach house late afternoon and decided they’d spend that night in. None of them had enough energy from the trip to anything and they had a full week to venture out. Plus avoiding the massive crowd on a Saturday night was a win.

Food was ordered in front various places because everyone either wanted something different or couldn’t make up their mind on what they wanted at all. Dinner was eaten and though it started off with minimal conversation they all eventually started talking about random things and eventually it led to talk of what they would do the next day. Hoseok mentioned something about the amusement park nearby, which got YN excited immediately and everyone agreed with that.

However, the quickness in which they all said yes wasn’t lost on YN despite her excitement. Usually they all took forever deciding what to do on any group outing and when they did there was some sort of whining. But everyone had agreed and then went about eating like everything was fine. No questions asked. No adjustments to time. No concerns about being there for so long. Just compliance.

It was something YN planned to ask about and fight against if they were doing it because she wanted to. Them giving in just because it would make her happy because she’d been so down wasn’t something she was okay with. The thought was nice, but she preferred they did their own things if that’s what they wanted. But she didn’t get to ask because everyone finished and before she knew it Hoseok escorted her to their room.

And like clockwork her body felt heavy the moment her eyes laid on the bed. Not even the pretty view from their balcony could draw her in. Which made it easy for Hoseok to maintain control to get her in the shower and then bed in the matter of thirty minutes.

By the time her head hit the pillow she felt refreshed, but like she’d cried for a few hours straight. The kind of tired where you don’t really feel one with the world and everything is almost like an outsider looking in. Though when she looked at Hoseok he grounded her a bit.

He took a few minutes longer to get into the bed after she did, slipping in wearing nothing but his boxers. Which was fine because she was in short shorts and a crop top. Something that seemed to warrant him poking her stomach every so often, which she allowed to happen because she didn’t have it in her to stop him.

Hoseok knew what he was doing too and that he’d pay for it once she slept, though she tended to forget things when too tired. But he stopped his poking and prodding after a few seconds, preferring to pull her close so they were cuddled together. Her leg thrown over him and their faces resting inches away from each other. He wanted to stay up a little and talk, but her eyes were closed and her breathing slowing.

For once she didn’t argue about it only being 8:00pm and thus too early to sleep. She’d say that every time they went on a trip, but more than anything she’d been saying it since after her mother’s funeral. Even when she looked exhausted and mentally not there she refused to sleep that early. So it felt good to see her not do it for once and after placing a kiss on her lips that thought lulled Hoseok to sleep.

Because they’d fallen asleep so early everyone was up at around seven the next morning. Well, everyone except for Jin, Beau and YN. They’d all woken up and ventured out of their rooms at around five almost six and decided yoga was the move. They gathered on the back patio of the house where you could see the beach and got to work.

Yoga was something that Jin and YN did regularly. The hospital had classes for all the staff to take and they’d gone with no intentions to ever do it again, but then realized how good they felt the days after. From then on they went to the classes or met up in a secluded part of a park early in the morning to do it before going out for breakfast or something. Beau joined in once when YN did it at home and then usually join her anytime he saw her doing it. Sometimes even joining her and Jin when they ventured out.

It was a great first moment of the vacation and one of the few times she’d felt so at peace in a long while.

From there they showered, got dressed, and went down to make breakfast. They’d picked up some groceries before getting to the house so they didn’t have to worry about it later.

By the time they finished everyone was up. Food was consumed at an alarming rate and everyone got ready with the same quickness. They wanted to get to the park at opening so they could have a better chance to get on everything. Which led to a lot of yelling and rushing people to hurry up and get to the van.

Hoseok took it upon himself to drive them there and as the rides came into view the closer they got the more excited YN got. She bounced in her seat and almost opened her door before the car came to a full stop.

That was dangerous and with the way Yoongi looked at her Hoseok thought she’d get scolded, but in fact the older man was upset that she tried to cheat. Which confused Hoseok until he whipped the door open and sprinted towards the entrance, YN hot on his heels and yelling about who was the real cheater.

It was like watching two children and goodness did it make Hoseok feel good.

When the others reached them they both stood there with big smiles and holding wrist bands, all of them the kind that were used for those with fast passes.

Hoseok narrowed his eyes at them, but neither of them looked regretful about what they’d done. In fact, they both appeared way too smug.

“What did we say about you two buying everything before anyone gets a chance? It’s not allowed on this trip or any trip,” Beau said.

Yoongi and YN turned to each other and shrugged, then thrusted a wristband into everyone’s hands. Since it wasn’t their first time out with the two amusement park junkies they all knew to get the bands on quickly, as if their lives depended on it. Yoongi had once wrapped Jungkook’s so tight that it limited circulation in his hand and they had to get another.

No one wanted to repeat that.

Without missing a beat they walked towards the workers scanning people in, leaving the others to catch up. Both of them were several feet inside the park by the time the others caught up again. They stood perfectly still and took in the park. One could feel the excitement that radiated off them.

It took Taehyung clearing his throat multiple times before they turned to face the rest of the group. Though that only lasted for a second before they were focused on each other.

“We meet here in four hours?” YN asked.

Yoongi nodded. “Right here and then I kick your ass in everything.”

That made YN scoff but she refrained from any trash talk in retaliation, there was always enough of that during them playing the games. Besides her focus was on something else.

Off in the distance was a ride that was way too high and moved way too fast – by even her standards – but the expression on her face showed how much she wanted to try it. So, without a word to the others Hoseok walked forward, grabbed her hand, and headed towards it. Everyone else went their own way, except for Jungkook and Taehyung who followed behind them. Hoseok felt like he was going to be sick the whole way, but YN and Jungkook reassured him the whole time while Taehyung poked fun at him, though it was clear that was only to calm his own nerves.

Once on the thing they all were ready to shit themselves but pushed through and as the it reached the first drop. YN and Hoseok made eye contact for a second and there was a reassuring feeling that flowed through them, but the next thing they knew they were sailing through the air so quickly it took a moment for her to breathe properly again.

The entire ride there was no moment to relax or get used to it. Even knowing what was to come didn’t make it any easier to adjust.

It was exhilarating.

That feeling is why Taehyung and Hoseok ended up waiting as YN and Jungkook went on again. Neither of them wanted to relive that and the fast pass line wasn’t that long, so they just sat on a bench a few yards from where the line-up started.

“So, are you going to do it today?” Taehyung asked, his voice a bit strained.

At first Hoseok was confused by the question and then it dawned on him what he meant. A different kind of discomfort settled in him at the thought of saying yes and so he shook his head quickly.

“Definitely not,” he muttered.

Taehyung turned to look at him with a raised brow and confusion.

“I thought that was the plan? Get her all happy and then do it? Don’t tell me you’re chickening out?” he teased.

Hoseok reached over and lightly punched his shoulder, a soft – but nervous – laugh escaping his lips.

“I’m going to, just not today. I want to make sure she’s good first. I’d hate to do it while she’s still wrapped up in sadness. That would make the whole thing much more complicated than it already is.”

At that Taehyung shrugged and turned his attention back towards the ride. They sat in a comfortable silence watching it climb high and then drop, looping a few times before it climbed again. It was more nerve wrecking watching it move like that then being on it, but that didn’t mean that Hoseok wished he was on it instead. He never planned to get on that ride again if he could help it.

About twenty minutes or so passed before they both returned and then everyone was off to other rides. They were all their own level of terrifying, but as they ran from ride to ride Hoseok got used to the fear and thrill that came along with them. He’d even agreed to go on one twice, which made YN beyond happy. Especially since she could see the eagerness was genuine. As if him being the one to request they go again wasn’t clear enough.

They continued on like that for a while, though eventually Jungkook wanted to circle back to get on something they’d all said no to. He convinced Taehyung to go with him and then Hoseok and YN were traversing the park alone.

A few more rides after the departure of the others and Hoseok forced a stop for food. Which wasn’t a whole lot and less than Hoseok would’ve liked her to eat, but it was more than she’d had some of the days from weeks before. A win in his book.

Before they went to get on some more rides they stopped to get a dessert, which was ice cream wrapped in a crepe. The park hadn’t had it the last time they’d come to it and that made YN all the more eager to indulge. They reminded her of ones she’d had in Japan when she’d gone for six months to study in high school. They tasted like them too.

“I don’t know if I should get another one now or later when we’re about to leave,” she said.

Hoseok laughed as he watched her devour it.

“I think I saw a stand with it near the entrance so you can get it when we leave,” he offered.

Though she looked conflicted at first, she smiled and nodded after a bit. No matter how practiced she was at eating and getting on rides too much dairy was a mistake. Fifteen-year-old her learned that the hard way.

After food was consumed, they went on a few more rides and then headed back toward where they were to meet with fifteen minutes to spare. The walk was taken slowly and they intertwined fingers as they went.

It was a moment of peace among the chaos and when YN looked at Hoseok with one of the brightest smiles he’d seen in a while he felt near tears. She’d been so happy and never once did her expression falter or her body language shift negatively. There was so much freedom and joy radiating from her and despite his optimism he’d been scared she’d stay shrouded in darkness for forever. So to have that voice in his head silenced because she was there and existing outside of it was just the best thing to happen to him.

Everything wasn’t fixed, but it was better than nothing.

Yoongi was at the meeting point with an irritated Beau who held a large stuffed bear. Most would question why Beau looked that way, but by the shifting that Yoongi was doing and the wide smile it was clear that he’d challenged his boyfriend to a few games and then mercilessly beat him.

Upon seeing a smiling YN though Beau’s expression shifted to mimic the smile on her face and so did Yoongi’s for a moment. However, YN was in competition mode and when he noticed that he was as well.

Not a word was uttered between them as they left their significant others to head towards the games and neither of them said anything about it. They merely trailed behind them and watched as they tried to one up each other.

Who knows how much time passed or how many prizes were handed over to kids or anyone standing nearby before everyone was gathered together watching them. Though it was tiring to stand there and see them go on forever there was also this mutual contentment as they all looked on. It was as if they were all on the same wavelength with how nice it was to see either of them back to some sort of normalcy.

“Has she been like this all day?” Beau whispered.

Hoseok nodded, his eyes never leaving them.

“Yeah. She’s been so happy and carefree. I don’t think she’s thought about it once all this time. And it doesn’t feel like she’s faking it,” he said.

There was a nod from Beau in response and then all the focus was back on them.

YN being that happy that quickly wasn’t what Hoseok foresaw at all, but it was nice to see that the second part of what he planned worked out well. He only hoped that it was doing some actual, concrete good for her mentally and that the last part of everything would go as smoothly.

Four days into their trip YN decided that Hoseok was acting weird. Though weird was something normal for his behavior it was a different type. He was attentive and kind, but also drifted off into his own head a lot and didn’t put up a fight when asked to do something that wasn’t necessarily in his comfort zone. She hadn’t pushed his limits by any means and accepted no when he said it, but for the most he gave in without a second thought.

Of course, his efforts were appreciated greatly, but that was what worried her the most. She knew how down she’d been and how the call from her mother’s husband had changed her. It was clear as day to her how she was acting and she wished she could snap her fingers and stop, but that wasn’t possible. And since she knew that, so did Hoseok and that meant he’d ramped up on trying to keep her at the very least not actively sad. All his free time was spent trying to help and look after her. The trip was just another one of those things and though she jumped at the prospect of being away from home to enjoy herself – and had enjoyed herself – she feared him taking things a step too far to please her.

No matter her mental state there would be no excuse for any damage she could do to his if that was the case. So YN planned to talk to him about it one morning, but she was redirected by Yoongi to get ready. Apparently he wanted to take her out for the day, just the two of them. Something she happily agreed to on the compromise of her going to talk to Hoseok about a thing first, but that was shot down by being told he’d headed out a few minutes beforehand. Which meant she had no other choice but to do as she was told, but with a pout.

Despite her mopey mood she didn’t take long to get dressed. Mostly because when she’d entered the room she found a pair of shorts and one of her long sleeve tops laid out for her. Yoongi promptly informed her he didn’t want her taking forever so he’d done it for her. It wasn’t out of the norm since he’d done it many times throughout their lives because supposedly she moved too slow or always grabbed the one thing in her wardrobe he hated with a passion. After a while she learned to just let it happen.

Once ready to go Yoongi grabbed her hand and practically dragged her from the house. It took some begging and mild threats to get him to not hold her hand so tight and slow down. From there he was less aggressive, but still held her hand firmly in his. She was fine with that because it was a habit from childhood that they never grow out of. As long as his bony fingers didn’t dig into her hand or squeeze too tight she was fine.

During their walk they didn’t speak, which was fine. They both tended to be quiet people and silences were rarely awkward. Walking for ten minutes to the nearby cafe bookstore was nothing in the realm of how long they could be around each other and not utter a single word.

“I wanted us to relax before dinner later. You know they’re all going to get drunk and it’ll be a mess. So, some peace and quiet for now,” Yoongi said once they entered.

That made YN smile wide. Even without the reason she loved the idea of spending a few hours there.

“You sure it’s not because they let you take naps here whenever we come?” she teased.

Yoongi laughed. “That too. A peaceful nap.”

With that she nodded and finally removed her hand from his. She shooed him away to see if any good seats were open and then headed off to buy their drinks. All of her will was used not to stop and look at books that caught her eye as she walked to the counter. The man wanted a nap, but him waiting too long for his favorite hot chocolate wasn’t on the table. Plus, there was something about being inside the place that calmed her so much that she was a bit tired herself.

After she grabbed the hot chocolates she searched for him and was beyond happy to find him at the reclining chairs in a back corner. Not daring to destroy the nice atmosphere of the space she merely handed him his drink and plopped down into her own chair. Her body relaxed instantly. It was asking her to sleep, but she wanted to drink her hot chocolate first. That lasted maybe ten minutes before she and Yoongi drifted off.

Sometimes she didn’t remember how much having a good time and being happy could drain from a person, no matter how much sleep they got.

When they finally woke up, panic filled YN because she’d misread the clock as saying four hours had passed, but it was barely an hour. The darkness only exacerbated that, but she was thankful her eyes adjusted before she shook Yoongi awake.

Since she felt refreshed from the nap the urge to explore books overcame her again. Instead of ignoring it she left Yoongi to continue his napping and looked around the store.

A lot of what did interest her were things she had read, were on her to read list, or by someone who wasn’t the greatest person despite their excellent writing. The things she did find that didn’t fit into that were all so tempting and she wanted to get them all but knew better than to do that. Her to read list was long and she didn’t need a million more books. So, she settled on getting the top three and took pictures of the others to buy at a later date.

By the time she made her purchase Yoongi had woken up and joined her at the register. He appeared rested and much peppier than he had before, which made her happy to see.

“Should we head back now?” she asked.

He nodded and then they were holding hands and walking back to the beach house.

The silence on the way back didn’t exist. Yoongi asked about what books she’d gotten and some other book she’d gotten a while ago that he’d been interested in. She agreed to give it to him and just as they reached the house and she prepared to ask if he wanted the book’s sequel as well he stopped abruptly.

Confusion coloring her face YN turned her head to look at him and was met with a tense expression. However, before she could question it he spoke.

“You’re okay, right? Actually okay, not the fake okay?” he asked.

YN felt a pang in her heart and her eyes watered for a second, but she pushed that all down. She wouldn’t dare make him more worried than he’d already been, especially when there was nothing to worry about.

“I’m okay. In fact, I’m as close to content as I’ve been in a while,” she said.

His entire demeanor changed when she said the word content. It was a signal of sorts. Something that they’d both learned they wanted through therapy. Happiness was great but being content and not so much good or bad was always the goal. As long as they could reach contentment all would be fine.

Though relaxed he didn’t stop staring her down for a moment and then after a firm squeeze of her hand – that she returned – he started walking again.

Inside the house everyone was putting the finishing touches on the dinner they’d decided on for the evening. It was a night in, which meant cooking and Jungkook had said that meant it needed to be an extra meal. So, him, Jin, Jimin, and Namjoon had spent a lot of time getting everything prepped and cooked. YN had wanted to help and even offered once Yoongi and her returned, but they were done and shooed her out to the patio so they could bring the food out.

Hoseok, who she’d seen maybe twice that whole day, pulled her down onto the seat next to him and immediately moved in for a kiss. That elicited some gagging from Beau which was met with a middle finger from both Hoseok and YN all without pulling away from each other.

They did part when the first of many dishes were placed on the table though. And without hesitation – once everyone was seated and Jin gave his go ahead – they began grabbing the things they wanted or moving them in range.

There was just so much. They’d made kimchi stew, bulgogi, pork ribs, fried rice, curry, and braised chicken. And of course, enough white rice that would satisfy even YN.

Bloated wasn’t even the word that truly captured how YN felt by the end of it all. Though happy was definitely a descriptor. They’d eaten, talked, and down alcohol. Jokes and stories were told, laughed about, and denied with intense vigor all around. It was a peaceful moment despite the chaos and watching her family just be together always filled her with such joy.

She could stay like that forever, but of course that was a no.

About thirty minutes after she’d had her last bite Hoseok suggested they go on a walk while they waited for the others to return with the chosen dessert. No was on the tip of her tongue, but he reminded her walking could help her feel better. Plus, he had a look in his eye that reminded her that she’d wanted to talk to him about something before.

So, they kicked off their shoes and headed down the beach. Hoseok laced their fingers together and led her away from the house. At first they said nothing, but then at the exact same time they spoke.

“YN-”

“Can we talk-”

They both paused and looked at each other with wide eyes before descending into laughter. It took a moment or two, but they collected themselves soon enough and continued their trek.

“You first,” he said.

YN nodded. “I want to thank you for all of this. It was what I needed and I’m so happy to have all this time with you and everyone else. Being with the people I loved most and who love me. Having fun that I haven’t had in a while. Having moments where I feel content, even if it’s fleeting. I haven’t had a bad day for the last few days and I haven’t even thought about anything really. And even if I did it was such a fleeting moment that I only barely remember it happened at all.”

“But?” Hoseok said when she paused.

“But I worry about taking advantage of all of you. I know that I’m not and everyone is happy to be here for a good time and to offer all the support in the world. I know that that feeling is for naught. But I realized how much you’ve given into me the last few days and it makes me feel like I may be crossing a line. You’ve had to deal with me being distraught and not myself for weeks. Never able to escape that unless out at work or I’m with someone else. And then you plan this and you give into my every whim. You do things that I know make you uncomfortable. Even if I’m not pushing you on certain things and I know I’m not crossing any hard lines it still feels wrong. And I’m sorry about that,” she said.

That ended in them coming to an abrupt stop. Hoseok released her hand and moved to stand in front of her, his hands moving to cup her face.

“Baby, you don’t have to worry about any of that. You have not crossed a line or made me do anything I didn’t choose to do. I’m fine. Did I agree to a few things that scare me or make me cautious? Yes. Did I do them partly because they made you happy? Yes. But like I said, it was my choice. I wanted to try them and that was an extra incentive. Seeing you smile or be in the moment was the greatest incentive in the world. I wouldn’t change doing those things. And I know you’re worried about what all this or your behavior could have done to my mental health, but I’m good there too. It hurt me to see you like that, but I processed that in therapy. Dr. Seo was more than willing to take me in more than once a month to process all this. I swear to you I’m fine.”

There was clear uncertainty in her eyes despite what he said. Hoseok could see it and though he wished she’d just believe him he knew that wasn’t how the mind worked. Sometimes things took a while to process or a little more assurance needed to be given.

After taking a deep breath he leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips, one she returned without hesitation. When he pulled away one of his hands slipped from her face as their foreheads pressed together.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too.”

The next few moments happened in a weird space where everything moved too fast and too slow. Hoseok’s other hand moved from her face and he pulled away from her, but before anything could be said or done on her end he was down on one knee with a ring in his hand.

YN had no time to process it before he started talking.

“This week was about making you feel even an ounce of happiness, but it was also about finding the right time to ask you. YN you know I love you with my entire being. How you love yourself, me, and our little family brings me such joy. How you live to be the best you and know that you’re not always going to get it right. How you know yourself enough to know how to handle your problems. You realize how off you’re being and take the time to self-assess, not just because of you but because of me. So you’re not doing anything that could affect me. That could lead to unintentional behavior that could harm me. You grow so much all the time and it feels impossible for you to put forth any more effort than you already do.

“You just make me feel so happy. Doesn’t matter if it’s from watching you be that way, you making me feel that way, or the reminder that I can be happy on my own despite you. That I can stand alone in happiness that doesn’t revolve around you or anyone else. Something I struggled with so much before. You’ve helped so much by just being you. And though I know that we have cemented our relationship already, I still want to do this. It would truly be the best thing in the world if you married me, baby.”

YN had worked through the initial shock and was much calmer than when he’d started talking. Her brain fought to keep up with the words and her heart soared as she took them in. It’s why she didn’t hesitate in responding with a yes.

Without missing a beat Hoseok slipped the ring on her finger and rose onto his feet. He pulled her into a tight hug and whispered ‘I love you’ over and over. In the distance there were cheers from their friends who had watched on from the back patio. She hadn’t even realized they’d turned and walked back towards the house once she’d started talking. But that didn’t matter at all. At least not in that moment.

The calm that she felt mattered. The excitement she felt mattered. The content feeling that washed over her mattered.

111 notes · View notes

queenrose730 · 4 years ago

Text

Reckless

Part 11

Master List

Three months seems to fly by.

T’Challa was right to have you stay far from the city. Apparently his cousin came back looking for revenge. You had wanted to help. Especially after you learned T’Challa died but Shuri told you to stay hidden and be ready to flee. There was also a CIA agent in Wakanda. That was enough deterrent to keep you hid away. She assured you that Bucky would be safe for now. You begged her to give you the codes to get him out if things got worse. She did and gave you specific instructions only to do so if it was the last option. Not only you going back into the city but trying to get him out would be tough. So you stayed put waiting for any word from her. It wasn’t until after the battle when T’Challa showed up at your house. He survived and Wakanda was safe for now. The two of you spent most of one afternoon talking. “I appreciate everything you have given me T’Challa but I also don’t want to take advantage of you. Is there something that I can do while I’m here? I’m a good pilot, I can track just about anyone down, I also spent some time working with Tony in weapons development.” You leaned forward in your seat, looking ahead of you at the water. “I’m sure we can find something to occupy your time yn. Please do not feel like you are a burden here.” “I know.” You let out a sigh. “Part of me is yelling to just take a break. Even when I was tracking down Bucky I was still doing a lot of other surveillance. I don’t think I even know how to slow down.” “Shuri will be sure to help with that.” He laughed. “She always finds time to slow down and have fun. Even while working harder than almost everyone I know. I think you two will get along.” “I hope so!” You turned to him and smiled. “It will be nice to have someone to maybe be a little girlie with.” “In that case you are more than welcome to work with her. She can definitely put your skills to work.” He set his drink down and stood. “If you are also interested, I think we can find you a place in the city to stay.” “Are you sure?” “Yes. I don’t foresee any issues now. Wakanda maybe opening her borders but you will still be safe.” “Thank you.” You stood as well now and shook his hand. I am really grateful for everything and I don’t think I will ever stop saying thank you. He just gave you a smile and laugh as he walked back to his transport.

It took a few weeks to get everything in order for you to start work with Shuri and move into the city. But once you finally got settled it didn’t take long to fall into a very familiar routine. Mornings were spent having breakfast on the balcony of your apartment. It was the perfect size for you. A large living room that was able to comfortably hold a couch and tv. But also a work station. Shuri was really throwing you into the deep end of Wakandan tech. You couldn’t get enough of it though. It was amazing the things they could do with the vibranium. It touched just about every part of their lives. The kitchen was probably bigger than you needed. You rarely cooked anymore. It reminded you too much of Steve. That shit head had only called you once since he left. He found Nat. Wanda was doing better. She was still having nightmares about the Raft but having Nat around was helping. They were still going out on missions to help where they could. He asked how Bucky was doing even though there wasn’t much to tell. Shuri had one of the doctors on it. Every day they were going over scans and what not. You tried to not be there. Using that time instead to train with the Dora. They had such a different fighting style. You were so used to the brute force that Steve taught you. They were graceful. Using their weapons as extensions of themselves. They regularly beat your ass. Shuri got you to go to the clubs a couple times a week. T’Challa was right. She worked hard but wasn’t going to let any fun pass her by. And now she made it her job to make sure it didn’t pass you by either. Any time not in the lab or training was spent doing something fun. First she mostly just drug you out shopping then it became actually wearing those clothes to go out. Natasha would have been proud at how much you had grown comfortable in your skin. Anytime the Avengers had a party she made sure you didn’t get away with wearing anything that didn’t show the most skin possible. Now that was second nature. It also helped to forget about the frozen super solider. The first week was hard. So many dreams about him. You only actually knew him for less than a week. But he infiltrated your mind thoroughly. Now he barley crossed your mind. Only coming up when Shuri would talk about the progress they were making. That was taken care of by going and sparing with Ayo. “I think we should be able to wake Bucky up in a week or so.” Shuri was chatting with you while you tinkered with a new design for a suit. “Already?” “What do you mean already! We have been at it for almost three months.” She walked around the table so she was across from you. “I know I know.” You leaned your arms on the table. “What would the next steps be?” “Probably a few more weeks for scans and maybe some reconditioning. Then testing the Winter Solider words.” She talked like that was the easiest thing in the world. “He’s not going to like that. Hopefully Steve can be here for that.” The thought of using Bucky so Steve would come back made you smile. “If not, I’m sure we can handle it. And I think you will be able to talk to him about making sure the words don’t work anymore.” You looked up just in time to see her give you a smirk. She knew just enough about the dreams when Bucky first went under and then how you are always absent during his scans. You just rolled your eyes at her though. Bucky was an ass right before he went under. Even though he tried to apologize the words were still there. You were there because of Steve. You cared because Steve needed you to care. The next week you spent almost no time in the lab. You didn’t even go out with Shuri. Instead all your energy went into sparing. It felt like you were there from sun rise to sun set. It got worse after the first three days. That’s when you finally got Steve on the phone. He wouldn’t make it back to be there when Bucky woke up. And the likelihood that he would be able to come when the words were tested was still up in the air. “If not for him Steve. For me? I miss you.” “I know sweetheart heart. But with us running missions I just can’t risk it.” “Fuck you.” You headed outside from the sparing room. “I went two years barely seeing you and now this.” “I know.” You heard him sigh. “I want to be there. Even if it’s just for you. But I need to make sure that you are both safe.” You heard voices through the phone. “Is that Nat?” “Yea. I got to go yn.” You didn’t say anything back, just hung up the phone on him. “Everything ok?” Ayo had joined you on the balcony. “No. But there’s nothing I can really do right now.” You knew that at least until Bucky woke up you needed to stay put. Maybe after you could start chasing down Steve and beat his ass for leaving you again. “Do you need a break?” “Nope. The only way to deal with this is fighting.” You smiled and headed back in. Shuri and Ayo were staring to get concerned with the amount of time you spent in the gym. If it wasn’t sparing, it was lifting. Anything you could do to take your mind off Steve and Bucky.

You knew that today was the day. You couldn’t sleep last night. Just scrolling through surveillance feeds and running some tracking software. T’Challa had let you slowly help with some missions the Nakia was working on. Right now she was tracking down some bad guy in South Africa. He was dealing in weapons and people. It was nice to get more distractions other than training the last few days. Now the sun was starting to come up so it wouldn’t be so obvious if you went to the gym. After sending off the information to Nakia, you changed into workout clothes and headed out. Shuri caught you just as you were walking into the citadel. “Oh. Where are you off to?” She knew. “Gym. Just the usual.” You pushed the button for the elevator. “We are waking Bucky up today.” “I know.” She followed you onto the elevator. Before you could press the floor you wanted she hit the button for the lab. “Good. T’Challa is waiting for us.” “Shuri I don’t think-” “Nope. You are going to be there. Kings orders!” She damn near skipped off the elevator. You trudged behind her. This was going to be a long day. Everything was set up just how it was when Bucky was placed in cryo. The only difference was Bucky was in the cryo tub and you stood alone. Even T’Challa was busy talking to someone. You just took up a spot behind the busyness of the room. As much as you tried to look anywhere but, you keep finding Bucky. He looked at peace. His features relaxed while he slept. The longer you watched him the more your surroundings faded away. It felt a little odd just staring at him while he was frozen. But you could stop. You noticed all the small scars on his face, the way his skin met the metal of his shoulder, the definition of his muscles under his shirt. “They are ready to start.” T’challa’s voice broke you from your thoughts. “Ok.” You nodded slightly, allowing all the noise of the room to come back. “How long will it take?” “Once he’s clear of the chamber, it should take about an hour or so for him to wake up. The whole process takes about two hours.” Shuri shouted at you over the noise. T’Challa placed a hand on your shoulder and offered you a chair. “Thank you.” You sat down and scooted the chair so you could still see Bucky. The minutes dragged on as everyone went through the checks to get Bucky awake. T’Challa stayed next to you. He was talking about something but you mind went back to Bucky. “When is he going to have the rest of the HYRDA arm removed?” You knew that you had interrupted whatever T’Challa was talking about. “Hopefully in the next few weeks. It will be up to him though.” You could feel T’Challa watching you as you watched Bucky. “I’m sure he will want it gone soon.” “I sure he will.” “He’s stable. Ready to open.” One of the doctors moved toward the chamber. Shuri quickly glanced back at you. You gave her a slight nod. “Let’s crack him open.” You heard T’Challa snicker at his sister’s remark, but you just stayed focused. The chamber opened. Several men came forward and maneuvered Bucky around to lay on the bed. A steady beeping was coming from the monitors. “Still stable. Getting ready to start phase two.” Shuri moved forward to the bed and injected something into the IV line. Slowly you noticed people staring to filter out of the room. Soon enough it was just Shuri, T’Challa and you left. “Yn?” “What’s up?” You stood and headed to Shuri. “All that is left is to just wait for him to wake up. I am going to head over to weapons and do some work. Will you stay here with him?” She noticed the worried you had on your face at her words. “If anything starts to go wrong, you can just hit this button and I will be right back.” “Right. Ok.” T’Challa moved the chair you had been sitting in next to the bed. Both of them quietly headed out of the room. Leaving just you and a sleeping Bucky. “Well shit.” You plopped down into the chair and laid your head on your arms on the bed. You let your eyes close, finally tired from the night before.

“Yn?” You head shot up. “Bucky?”

tags- @ginger-swag-rapunzel

#bucky x y/n #james buchanan bucky barnes #bucky barnes #bucky fic #steve x reader friendship #steve rogers #slow burn #enemies to lovers #captain america winter solider #winter solider #captian america #reader insert #marvel fanfiction #marvel

9 notes · View notes

journal-of-an-outlaw · 5 years ago

Text

Price to be Paid

Chapter 4

Camp over the next few days was exhausting. Between getting everything set up to stay in one place for awhile and getting to know the people you were living with you were tired every night and almost asleep before you hit your bedroll. To say it was uncomfortable was an understatement. The small tent provided you enough room to change your clothes while hunched over, but that was about it. You were extremely grateful to those who gave it to you of course, but sometimes you got caught staring longingly at Arthur's raised mattress and daydreaming about how one night off the ground would feel.

You finally got to test out your new bow one day when the hunting party was relatively small. Arthur, Charles, and Javier accompanied you. Charles watched appreciatively as you took down a few rabbits with your new bow.

"If you move your hand around you'll be able to shoot farther. Instead of all of your fingers pulling from under the arrow, try one over and two under." You gave it a go and the arrow flew much higher than it had been previously. But it landed in a completely different spot than you had been aiming.

"I'll try that! Thank you, Mr. Smith."

"Charles." He smiled warmly at you and clapped your shoulder then headed over to Javier who was not having luck fishing. He seemed to be swearing at them more than catching them, and his cursing in Spanish increased with each cast.

Arthur watched you from across the field. You wondered if he trusted you or not. The two of you had barely interacted in the past week but you still feel bonded to him for saving your life back in Blackwater. You rode over next to him and looked out at the small group of deer feeding on the grass by the lake.

"Easy enough prey if you move quick." He pointed over to the bunch. You had never actually hunted deer before, just smaller game you could get with your bow. Living in town didn't give you a need to hunt purely for meat. His eyes barely moved from watching the herd ahead of him.

You were sitting upon a borrowed horse again, still not able to afford your own. A beautiful grey and white mare had come into the stables in Valentine recently and you had your eye on it.

One of the deer picked up it's head quickly as if it caught your scent on the wind. Raising your bow and using the new technique Charles taught you, you easily took one down. The pair of you rode over and the rest of the herd dashed away and pulled it up to your horse's back.

"Mr. Morgan, would you teach me how to skin this? I want to earn enough to buy a horse in town."

He raised his eyebrows at you. "You sure you want to get blood on your clothes, Miss Moore?"

Your temper flared up. "I'm out here hunting, ain't I? If I was worried about my clothes I would be content sewing and cleaning and cooking with the others. Just because I'm from town don't mean I can't learn other ways. Now, do you start with this end or the other one?" You pointed to the head, thinking it was wrong but determined to prove yourself. Arthur showed you the best way to skin it, and what furs to look for. You thanked him and added it to the growing pile on the back of your horse, stretching your arms and back muscles that were sore from your new bow.

"The next time I'm headed to town I'll take ya with me. We can get that horse you've been staring at when you think no one's looking." A smile creeps on your face.

"Thank you, Mr. Morgan."

"Call me Arthur."

After you return from the hunting trip, some of the gang decided to go into town. Tilly, Mary-Beth, Karen, Uncle, and Arthur all hop in the wagon and roll out. You decided to stay behind and take a well deserved nap after skinning some rabbits. Robbing and stealing would have to wait until another day when you could be more alert.

Abigail joined you at the table nearest the horses so skin. “Sounds like you got real good with that bow, YN.” You beamed back, so happy you had something good to contribute. “Abigail it feels so good. And powerful. I can see helping out with the hunting regularly. Seems like I can fit in here.” Dutch agreed as he sauntered over. “Nice work, Ms. Moore! Now that is what I call helping out thy neighbor. A few more trips like that and we’ll never go hungry again!”

Abigail beamed as the two of you finished cleaning the pelts. “I know it would be good to have you around. I’m so happy, YN, it always comes together. Now go lie down, I can see from your eyes how tired you must be.”

Moments later you curled up on your bed roll, the lazy midday heat helping you drift off to sleep. You dreamt of a stag running through a field and chasing after it, but always being a few steps behind. Dark grass grabbed at your legs and made you feel lethargic and slow. You knew you had to catch it no matter what. You pumped your arms to run as fast as you could, but no matter where it darted next be a stream bed or field of flowers you were always behind.

Shouting in the camp woke you up. The wagon had returned with the additions of Charles, Javier, and Bill. The men were caked with mud and obviously drunk, laughing uncontrollably while recreating what must have been a fight that broke out in town.

Javier wheezed, “And then! And then, he winds back with Arthur in his hands and launches him out the window! Glass was everywhere, nearly cut my ass open trying to follow,” he began howling and couldn’t even finish a sentence. Of course he tried to roll out the window rather than take the front door. “Then! That grande beast looked at Arthur, and called him...called him...pretty boy!” Arthur was grabbing onto the wagon trying to stand up with Charles leaning on him. Javier and Bill finally sat on the ground unable to support themselves standing anymore. The women were laughing as well, but much less loud and brashly. Hosea glanced over the rim of his book to see what happened but quickly went back to his novel once the scene concluded.

A new face rode into camp as the story was ending on a tall while horse. Sharply dressed and a northern accent caught your attention as most of the gang was obviously from further down south.

“Gentlemen! Quiet the street brawl in deed. And our own Arthur Morgan struck fear into the hearts of the gentlemen and caused the women to quiver no doubt! But I come with important news. Dutch, I found where they’re keeping Sean.”

Dutch and Hosea moved quickly over to the man. “Sean! Where is he, Trelawney?”

“Ahh, the problem. He’s in Blackwater with some bounty hunters.”

The gang looked around and waited for Dutch’s call. “If there’s a chance he’s alive, we ride.”

Charles was the first to volunteer to scout ahead first and left immediately. Some of the others needed to sleep off the effects of Valentine and the day’s events. You traded with Pearson the pelts you had kept for cash and left to find Arthur. Finally you had enough to pay him back for the bow he bought you, no matter how he disguised the purchase.

He was standing over a barrel of water dunking his face. You watched him for a moment, then slowly approached. At first you thought he was getting out tough hiding dirt from behind his ears. Then the smell hit you. Valentine’s stench had been amplified with alcohol and rain making Arthur a putrid mess. You tried to subtly cover your nose as you approached.

“Arthur? Arthur, do you have a moment?”

He stopped, sopping wet, to look over at you. “I can come back later if you’d like.”

“Now is fine!” He plopped down on a seat and shook his head with the remaining water causing droplets to spray everywhere. He motioned for you to take a seat but you politely declined. “I wanted to give you this,” you say as you held out a coin purse full of the $9.50 you owed.

He looked inside and immediately opened his mouth to protest. “Please, Arthur it’s the least I can give you. You’ve saved my life, taught me how to skin an animal, and not hated me for moving in with the gang. Honestly I owe y’all a lot more than I could gather up the past few weeks here.” Nodding he pocketed the purse and with it your debt was paid back. He smiled at you but quickly grabbed his jaw wincing, he must have been hit pretty hard in town. You cleared the seat off and removed his hand to get a better look at the damage. A cut that ran below his mouth and a bruise, but nothing major.

“It’s nothing, that fella just packed a mean punch is all.” No one was around to see you fuss over him, and he didn’t tell you to stop. You pulled a clean rag and some cleaning ointment from your medical bag and gently cleansed the area. Arthur flinched when your left hand met his face to hold it steady but he allowed you to help him with the cuts on his face.

How this bear of a man could have so many sides you hadn’t figured out yet. Outlaw. Sweetheart. Mean. Angry. Soft. But something in his blue green eyes was intriguing enough to make your heart catch in your chest when you stared into them too long. Arthur watched you while you concentrated on rinsing the mud off his chin and you felt the heat rise to your cheeks.

“Is there something on my face too, Mr. Morgan?”

“I told ya to call me Arthur. And no, I just never saw brown eyes shine like that in the sunset before.”

You froze, then remembered to breathe again. “All cleaned up. Hopefully that helps you sleep.” Arthur cleared his throat and thanked you with a tip of his hat and a small smile, then moved back to his tent to rest for the evening. Maybe he didn’t mean the comment in the way you took it. You gazed over the campsite to focus on something else, and it was stunning in the light of the setting sun.

Hosea was spooning stew into a metal bowl for himself when you joined him. “Mind if I sit with you for dinner?”

“Not at all! I’ve been meaning to talk with you. Let’s sit and watch the valley.” It was your favorite view from the site and he must have seen you there with the scenery stuck in your eyes a hundred times already. The two of you used the makeshift table near the edge of Herr Strauss’ tent.

“YN, you’re a reader, is that right?” You nodded excitedly. Finally someone to talk about books with! Not that you would have judged them but some of the folks in camp couldn't read.

Hosea smiled and the two of you discussed which genres you preferred. He loved a good mystery novel, and your weakness was adventure stories. Tales of the way life used to be was so romantic. Pirates plundering for lost treasure, or maybe the knights of the round table. Every new experience was something you yearned for.

“Too bad real life can’t be like that. Even our way of adventure is dying out,” he looked so sad, you put your hand on his arm. “How long have you been running with Dutch?” Thinking back, he replied “I reckon nearly 25 years at this point. We found young Arthur maybe 5 years after that, and folks traveled with us here and there. Always dreamed of owning a big old ranch out west somewhere though. That was our goal.” It all sounded so idealistic. Dutch, the loud and confident ranch owner. His second in command Arthur who maybe worked the stables, and Hosea who would be in charge of the hands. Or something like that.

“What’s Arthur’s story, Hosea?” He gave you a funny look, but you didn’t really see it because you couldn't meet his eyes fully.

“Arthur Morgan. Helped raise him since he was a boy. He’s an outlaw alright, wanted in more than 6 states by now. Heart of gold though, something in him always tells what’s right and what isn’t. He follows his instincts even if it gets in a scrap of trouble,” he paused but then continued on. “He’s got a sweetheart, Mary. Ain’t seen her in years now but I bet he still holds a flame for her. She...they...it never worked out.” You nod and finish off your stew. “YN, you’re a pretty girl. I’m sure there’s a hundred men who would love to be with you.” Laughing you try and correct him. “Hosea don’t worry, I’m not sweet on Arthur. I just spend more time with him silent than I do talking and I wanted to know him a bit better. Please don’t tell him I asked anything.” Hosea noded and you offered to clear his plates for him so he could light a cigarette and watch the last yawns of the day leave the earth in front of you.

Clean plates set to dry and an aching shoulder from your archery practice drove you to head to sleep early. Passing Arthur’s open tent, you heard him softly snoring as he lay flat on his back. The small table next to him had his journal thrown lazily and two photographs standing upright, but without the sun it was too dark to see who they were of. You’d bet your next meal one is of that Mary, and the jealousy that coursed through you surprised you more than you would have liked to admit. He’s handsome. Of that there’s no doubt. But you’ve seen him flirt a bit in camp with Mary-Beth, and knowing he has someone he’s been pining over made you more dejected than usual. Not that you’ve had any indication he thought of you other than just a person in camp but you had hoped. Another part of the adventure of living life as an outlaw.

After you washed your face with some cold water, you lay down exhausted. The gentle sounds of the camp carry you back to sleep. A small symphony of snores, tree branches, and bodies wrestling around had become your norm. It was comforting to know that even all the way out in Valentine, you were never alone.

*******************************************************************************************

The next day was the rescue of Sean. You wouldn’t be riding with the main group of course, but you had offered to be with the wagon halfway between Blackwater and camp to help if anyone needed anything with Tilly and Mary-Beth. Because her boys were now both mobile and moving around camp Abigail tended to stay with them instead of riding on missions.

You stretched and moved to get dressed for riding out. The job you had been assigned was to distract anyone coming up the roads, so you picked out an outfit that would seem more upscale than your usual jeans, boots, and long sleeved button up. A short sleeve white top tucked into a full red skirt and was cinched together with a belt you had bought in town. The buckle had a beautiful engraving of flowers on it that reminded you of your mother somehow.

Tilly whistled as you left your tent. “My, YN! You look pretty as a picture. Want help getting that hair pulled back?”

“Sure Tilly! I ain’t even got my own mirror to look at.” She grabbed your hand and pulled you over to where the other girls were sitting and eating breakfast. Mr. Pearson left another plate of food for you and you ate the eggs and bacon quickly, surprised at how hungry you were. Anytime you got nervous your stomach seemed to give you away.

Karen hummed to herself as she ran her hands through your hair in an attempt to brush out the knots. Then she carefully pulled half of it back and pinned it all up with a flower. “There, like a real society lady now.” Mary-Beth looked up from her journal and laughed. Maybe the flower was too much, you moved to cover it with your hand but the girls protested. For the time it would stay then.

Dutch sauntered over. “Alright ladies, here’s the plan. Charles is already out in Blackwater scouting the area, as is Trelawney. Arthur and Javier are heading out soon to begin the rescue mission. Your job is to stay about halfway back and grab Sean when they drop him off and hide him from any prying eyes that are looking for a bounty.”

The girls nod and begin to memorize the map Dutch put on the table.

As soon as the wagon is loaded with folks you all ride out. Javier and Arthur sprint ahead. Everyone was on edge and nervous about rescuing Sean as he was part of the heart of the gang.

“You sure it’s alright for three young women to sit alone in a wagon in the middle of nowhere?” you ask Tilly and Mary-Beth once the three of you are all set up hiding in some trees.

Both of them turn to look at you. “Well, we got our guns in case anything goes wrong, don’t we?”

“I’ve...never actually shot one.” They both stared incredulously.

Mary-Beth found three old cans on the ground and set them up along some rocks as targets. “Alright. So focus with one eye on the target. No! Don’t close the other one. There. Hold it straight out in front of you, steady, and pull the trigger!” You yelped as the gun gave you a bit of kickback. The bullet missed but just barely.

The girls laughed at your attempt. “How you expect to run with a gang if you can’t shoot!”

“I’m trying! I just need practice is all.” The next few hours you alternate between target practice, watching the road, and talking with the other girls. It was terribly boring being lookout on an empty road in the middle of nowhere. The thought of how close you were to Blackwater again made you nervous, hopefully no one from town who could recognize you would pass by. The wrath of your father was a horrible thing to contemplate.

“Quiet, someone’s coming.” Tilly’s voice was sharp as she loaded up her shotgun.

Javier came thundering up the road with someone sitting behind him on his white and gray spotted horse.

“Ah, Miss Tilly Jackson! What a sight for sore eyes you are,” the Irishman drawled. Sean was young and had a full head of red hair. He looked, well, awful after having escaped the hangman’s noose.

“Sean!” Mary-Beth leaped onto him and they both hugged each other happily. You smiled at the reunion.

“And, er, who might this be?” You moved forward to shake his hand. “I’m YN. YN Moore.” “Another Irish then! Good luck to them bastards back at camp. They can’t stop us now!”

Javier climbed back on his horse and told you all to stay safe, then rode off to meet up with Arthur and Charles. Sean climbed in the back of the wagon, and Mary-Beth joined him. You and Tilly clicked at the horses to start moving and the wagon was off.

“That was easier than I thought.”

“Sometimes these things go real south. The way back should be easy but stay alert just in case.” Tilly’s eyes scanned the road, but the first hour was calm.

You and Sean chatted while he sat in the back of the wagon and you learned more about him. Born in Ireland originally, he came over with his family who was now gone. His father had been an infamous outlaw too.

“What part of the Emerald Isle do you come from, Ms. Moore?”

Your geographical knowledge of Ireland was weak, but you remembered seeing a map at one point. “Galway, west coast. My grandparents left to find a better life.”

“Galway! You know my horse is named Ennis for the county just south of that. Beautiful place. Always did love the smell of the sea there. Fine people come out of Galway.”

Perhaps some distant relative of yours was Irish and you weren’t lying to the gang, but you still felt guilty that it wasn’t the truth. Of course, it was better than them knowing your real relatives.

Ahead on the road there seemed to be an accident. A coach was overturned, the horses shot dead and belongings scattered everywhere along the side of the road. Tilly slowed the wagon down and handed you an extra pistol. “Here. I have a feeling you’re gonna need this.”

Your heart pounded in your ears. No one was around, but the eerie silence didn’t settle well with anyone in the wagon. Tilly tried to rush the horses forward but a man called out from behind a tree.

“Alright, miss. Step on out of that wagon and hand it over now. There’s many more of us than the two of you could take.” He aimed a gun straight at the two of you, and more men walked out to join him. No one moved. The man clicked back the hammer slowly, waiting for your reaction. Behind you Sean and Mary-Beth moved silently into position, and you and Tilly climbed down to stand on the road.

“Alright, mister. All yours. Just put that gun down.” Four men started moving on the wagon, and that’s when Sean and Mary-Beth popped up and started shooting. You fumbled with the pistol in your pocket but one of the men jumped and pinned you to the ground before you could take aim.

You screamed as he tried to get your hands above your head, and you attempted to push and kick him off. He just laughed at you. His knee started to move up your left leg slowly, and real fear started pumping through your veins. The others were busy taking down the remaining two men to help you, so you were on your own.

“I’m gonna take you with us, I think. Tie you up in the back and have my way with you. What a pretty face. You’ll regret ever driving through here…” He went on to describe the terrible things he would do once you were alone.

Although less than half his group remained, he still seemed to think he could take you. Your right arm finally got free from his grip and slapped his face as hard as you could. His recoil was all the movement you needed and without thinking fired the pistol straight into his belly.

Blood spattered everywhere as he fell backwards. You scrambled away as fast as you could and wiped your face, watching the life drain out of the monster on the ground.

“Hey, hey there. You okay Miss Moore?” Sean moved to help you stand but you flinched away. You had never held a gun before a few hours ago, and now you were a murdered. Sure it was in self defense, but panic still spread across your chest hot and white.

The others watched as you finally stood up. You must have looked a frightful sight as Tilly suggested you stop at the lake before heading back to camp.

After the experience with the ambush, the ride back was uneventful. You sat in the back of the wagon with your knees tucked under your chin and didn’t speak the whole way. The thought of that man’s breath on your face and the horrible intentions haunted you, but you know you did the right thing. If he had escaped, some other poor girl could have been attacked too. Or worse from what was planned in his mind.

The stop at the lake was quick as everyone was eager to get back to camp. Your white shirt had no hopes of going back to its original color so you didn’t bother with trying to clean it. The cool water cleared your head and you began to feel better after washing your arms and face. Tilly came up next to you.

“Just checkin’ in. I figured that’s the first man you’ve ever killed.” you liked how to the point she was. It never took long to figure out what she was thinking .

“It was,” you said taking a big breath in. “But I keep telling myself he was bad. The things he said...no one should be able to act like that. What I did wasn’t good, but it sure was right.”

Tilly nodded and patted your shoulder. Eventually, you would come to peace with it.

Back at camp the gang whooped when your wagon rolled in. The others had arrived sooner than you and were eager to get Sean set back up. Dutch clapped him on the back, joy spreading around him like sun rays.

“Let’s have some fun tonight. Let’s enjoy ourselves! A party, just a little one. Mr. Maguire is back! All of you get cleaned up and once the sun sets, we can finally let loose!”

#red dead #red dead redemption #red dead redemption 2 #fanfic #fanfiction #arthur morgan #dutch van der linde #hosea matthews #charles smith #sean maguire #abigail roberts #john marston #arthur morgan romance #arthur x reader #reader insight #I don't know how to name anything #the next few chapters are good #I promise!!!#price to be paid

32 notes · View notes

little-narnian-notes · 8 years ago

Text

Walk Through Ghosts

Request: If it’s not a bother could I please have a one shot where the reader is engaged to Edmund and how she reacts when the *cough* tragic train scene happens? Lolol I hope it’s not too much I just haven’t seen any stories with this particular situation.

Okay. So. According to the books/what I’ve found online, Lucy and Edmund spent the summer of 1942 with Eustace and his family. And as far as I can tell, the train scene happened in 1949 or so. I kind of combined both the movie timeline and book timeline at various points based on what I felt the oneshot needed, so let’s just say that Lucy and Edmund stayed with Eustace in 1944, and died in 1947. BECAUSE WHY NOT.

Also, I kept trying to start a oneshot with the two of them engaged, but it was kind of hard for me to do that with no backstory/all monologuing about the past before I got to the request, so I decided the request might be better fulfilled/more angst-ridden if I wrote about what happened before the train scene and taking the reader through that as well.

Your name: submit What is this? // <![CDATA[ function replaceAll(find, replace, str) { return str.replace(new RegExp(find, 'g'), replace); } function myHandler() { var input = document.getElementById("inputTxt").value; document.body.innerHTML = replaceAll('Y/N', document.getElementById("inputTxt").value, document.body.innerHTML); } // ]]>

Your nickname: submit What is this? // <![CDATA[ function replaceAll(find, replace, str) { return str.replace(new RegExp(find, 'g'), replace); } function myHandler2() { var input = document.getElementById("inputTxt2").value; document.body.innerHTML = replaceAll('YN/N', document.getElementById("inputTxt2").value, document.body.innerHTML); } // ]]>

Your eye color: submit What is this? // <![CDATA[ function replaceAll(find, replace, str) { return str.replace(new RegExp(find, 'g'), replace); } function myHandler3() { var input = document.getElementById("inputTxt3").value; document.body.innerHTML = replaceAll('Y/E/C', document.getElementById("inputTxt3").value, document.body.innerHTML); } // ]]>

Your hair color: submit What is this? // <![CDATA[ function replaceAll(find, replace, str) { return str.replace(new RegExp(find, 'g'), replace); } function myHandler4() { var input = document.getElementById("inputTxt4").value; document.body.innerHTML = replaceAll('Y/H/C', document.getElementById("inputTxt4").value, document.body.innerHTML); } // ]]>

---

You and Edmund had met when you were sixteen, and he was seventeen. It was by complete accident. During the war, you’d been relocated to a small family in Cambridge. Just when it seemed like things were going to become even worse, you’d met him. Lucky for you, your older sister, Stella, had been able to stay with the same family as you. Stella had started tutoring a girl two years younger then you named Lucy.

It had never really occurred to you to ask how the tutoring was going until you had to run to the Scrubbs’ household to drop off a textbook Stella had forgotten

(You were breathless, trying to make it there as quickly as possible. But you were still trying to not draw attention to yourself, like your running would make you a bomb-target.

And when you’d gotten there, after you’d knocked, after a boy you didn’t know opened the door: “Hi, I’m Y/N; just needed to drop this off for Stella’s tutoring session with Lucy. I’ve got the right house, yeah?”

He coughed, said, “Yeah. I’m Edmund. Her older brother. I’ll just drop it off there in the living room. I’m sure Estelle will be grateful.”

Estelle.

Nobody called Stella by her full, actual name besides your parents.

Estelle.

So he wasn’t interested in her at all. Edmund didn’t say your sister’s name like she was more precious and pure then starlight.

You smiled, said bye, and turned, hips swaying minutely before you forced yourself to stop that. So you could get interested in him. Stella had never mentioned that the older Pevensies were an attractive lot. If Lucy really had two other older siblings, what were they like?)

It wasn’t long before Edmund asked you out. Of course, it’d taken him a month, but, still.

(“Hey, again,” Edmund said.

You shrugged. “We meet again, Pevensie.” This time, Edmund was at your home, on your doorstep. “Come in, it’s cold out.” Stella had fallen into the slightly unlucky role of having to babysit Lucy before and after their tutoring session. The three of you went to the same boarding school - Stella would be graduating this year. Lucy was one of the new lots. You still had a year or so until your A-levels. “They’re done with geography and maths. I could make you a tea to go or something, if you want.” Edmund was the one who always came to collect Lucy, when she was here for tutoring.

“Thanks. That sounds nice.” Edmund followed you to the kitchen.

It’d been a month since you’d met him, and you hadn’t really had any long conversations with him. It was too hard to think of how you could become better acquainted when your lives and worlds didn’t connect, never overlapped, besides the tutoring that bound your sisters for a finite amount of time.

As you made the tea, Edmund spoke casually. “If it’s not too much trouble for you, Y/N, I was wondering if you’d want to go to Roasted Bean sometime? I heard they have a nice apple danish.”

Apple danishes were your favorite snack. Your movements didn’t slow or stop, but they nearly did, and you wanted to scream, you were so excited. You’d developed a horribly big attraction towards Edmund. “I’d like that,” you replied, and yes, you got infinitely more warm and tingly.)

After that, the two of you were as inseparable as you could manage. By the time the school year came to a close, another summer had fallen onto England. The bombings were still going on, of course, it being 1944. One had fallen onto a house two doors down from the one you were staying in on your birthday, during an air raid.

Later on, when a man parachuted down with supplies, Mrs. Stoll, yours and Stella’s caretaker, sent you out with hurried, sharp hands to get as much of the parachute as possible. The material could be used for a variety of things.

You felt badly about this looking back, but at the time, everything going on felt like background noise to the love story called your life that was blooming across each page in bright ink. Nearly day Edmund surprised you. Usually it was just flowers, or a sweet little letter. You kept the flowers in a vase in your room, the letters hidden in a box underneath your bed.

At boarding school, you’d made a few friends - Alice, Poppy, Christine, Eve, and Jessica. Sometimes they came around for tea. Sometimes you went to their house and you’d stay up late dancing around in no lyons to songs that came on the radio. Jessica liked singers like Ella Fitzgerald, Jimmy Dorsey, Dinah Shore, and Bing Crosby.

You didn’t care what was on as long it was upbeat and fast-paced.

It was hard to remember that Poppy liked shopping and going to the zoo, that Alice liked cucumber and cream sandwiches and didn’t like sewing. It was hard to remember that Christine had never had a boyfriend and she got up each morning to pluck at flower petals before cleaning. That Eve spent near all her time reading and studying so that she could be the very best student at boarding school - when she wasn’t being studious, she was accepting invitations (written back in forgery) sent to her father so she could go to dance with high powered men.

It was hard to remember all that because you were so wrapped up in Edmund.

(“Come on, Y/N,” Alice practically moaned over the phone. “My mum’s driving me mad! I must get out of this house sooner or later. And you’ve spent the entire week totally secluded with Stella, Lucy, and Edmund.”

You noticed she didn’t bother pointing out that Jessica was the only one who still saw you semi-regularly. Jess was the one friend you had that didn’t make you want to keel over and die. “I’m sorry, Alice,” you replied, trying to sound sincere. “I mean it. Let’s do something tomorrow, alright? We can go to the cinema, or feed the ducks in the park. Maybe Christine and Eve can come too, if they’ve got the time and pocket money to spare.”

“Alright,” Alice sighed. She sounded a bit more placated, and you sighed silently, relieved

The next day was boring; you feed the ducks and Alice stood some feet away, twirling her lacy parasol. She was dressed to the nines in fine clothing, looking like a pretty doll that had become human. Her pale blond hair was curled and fluffed just so so that it framed her face and spilled down her back.

You looked up at her and asked, amused, “Are you going to feed them, Alice? Or do you just like coming here so you can watch them be vicious bastards to me?”

Alice winced and you remembered that she didn’t like vulgar language. Sometimes it was easy to forget; you’d grown up in a rough neighborhood. “I like coming to the ponds. You like feeding the ducks. Remember, Y/N? I think it’s a very scenic place to come and chat with friends.”

It was hard to forget that she was a very particular, fussy friend at times, usually picky and quiet. But her disposition was something you could usually deal with.

“Come on,” you said, throwing the rest of the bread into the pond for the ducks to fight over. “Let’s go walk, then. You can tell me more about Emilia.” Alice’s aunt Emilia tended to stir up drama in her family.)

You made an effort to see your friends more, and sometimes went to the cinema on a double-date with Jessica and her beau, Octavian. Everybody called him Ian as a nickname. Christine probably would have come as well, but her fiancé, Mark, was fighting in the war.

Things seemed to go relatively well between the two of you, up until a particular summer day in late July. Before July 27th, the two of you had spent evenings sitting out on a porch, quietly talking. Or you’d take a walk, usually unchaperoned, and play guessing games surrounding what the lives of passerby’s might be like. You’d play chess together a lot, or comb through newspapers together. The two of you liked the crossword puzzles; you’d do half while Edmund skimmed the news, then you’d switch so he could finish and you’d become more up to date news-wise. There were days when you’d go to a bookstore and pick out one surprise book for each other, or try to cook something.

Somehow you two never ran out of ideas. Half the time Lucy was involved in the activities, and the only reason you ever resented her presence was because you couldn’t kiss Edmund. You and Edmund both held the belief that the most public affection that should be displayed should be handholding. So it was hard to resist the impulse to kiss him less chastely, to let him touch you in places you’d never even touched yourself in equal parts thrill and fear.

Then, July 27th happened. Edmund was busy during the day, helping Lucy to run errands and pick up groceries for their aunt and uncle. He’d said he’d come by later to help you find some required texts for your upcoming classes that year at school… and then he never came.

It wasn’t the fact that he’d essentially forgotten about your plans, it was that certain things were made tense afterwards.

(“Y/N, are you sure you’re alright?” Stella asked. She’d looked up from her sewing project for the fifth time that afternoon.

You sighed and shrugged, frustrated. ��I just don’t understand where Edmund is!” you burst out. “It’s not like him to keep me waiting. He said he’d meet me here at four o’clock and it’s been an hour, Stella.” It was safe to say that sometimes you had a temper, especially on days like today when everything seemed to be going absolutely wrong.

“Then go by Alberta’s house, Y/N,” Stella replied in exasperation. “The pacing is unbecoming.” She didn’t bother adding that your somewhat bratty behavior was as well.

“I will, then, in that case,” you grumped. You grabbed your small purse, put your house-key into it, and then stalked out. Walking to Alberta and Harold Scrubbs’ house took about twenty-five minutes. By the time you got there, you were a bit less annoyed, though you hadn’t quite let go of your confusion and general irritableness.

You knocked on the door and were let in by Alberta, who said they were all upstairs. Once you were up there, you knocked on Lucy’s bedroom door. She opened it, looking a bit hyped up and unfocused.

“I - oh! Y/N! Hi. What are you doing here?” asked Lucy.

You had to stop yourself from pursing your lips. It’s not Lucy I’m angry at, you reminded yourself. “Is Edmund here?” you asked her.

“Yes, of course,” Lucy told you, stepping back. She rubbed at her face a bit.

You walked into the room, looked at him - and Eustace, who was also in the room and seemed radically different from how he usually was, though you couldn’t say why. “Ed. We were supposed to meet up an hour ago. If you didn’t want to meet up, you could have just called. I had to cancel a lot of other plans.”

Edmund frowned. “What time is it? I didn’t forget about - ah.”

“About helping me find some required texts. For school,” you reminded him. You didn’t understand why he was having trouble remembering. It had been only that morning that you two made plans to meet up later.

“Listen, Y/N, I’m sorry. I really am. I just - I just got caught up in some other things, okay? We’ve been, just.” Edmund seemed to be struggling with what to say or how to say it. He exchanged a look with his sister and cousin.

Eustace looked at you mildly. “Ed and Lucy have been helping me understand my atrocious behavior. I think I had an amazingly huge breakthrough. I’m sorry I’ve been so absolutely horrid. And awful,” he said calmly, if a bit breathless.

You sighed, irritated again. “Thanks, Eustace. Apology accepted.” You turned to face Edmund. “Just - you know what? Fine. I’ll just head back home.” You felt like there were two conversations happening then at the same time. There was one the three of them were having, and the one you were actually participating in.)

You and Edmund had a bit of a rough patch after that day. You didn’t know how Edmund and Lucy had gotten Eustace to have a 180-degree personality change, but apparently they had. None of them would explain how exactly it’d happened, or why.

There were a lot of instances when your boyfriend wasn’t talkative. He’d just stare off, lost in his own world, even when he was with you. You heard snippets of conversations between him and Lucy about someone named Caspian, about some ship they’d sailed on called the Dawn Treader and tipping over the edge of the world.

You had no idea what they were talking about, because you knew them well, and could confirm that you’d never heard them talk about Caspian. It made you wonder why they were hiding it from you, why Eustace’s change seemed so permanent, whether Edmund was really Edmund or not. The one question that remained was whether Peter or Susan knew their two younger siblings talked about.

It made you feel paranoid because you were scared. Sometimes it felt like Edmund was completely out of your league. Despite how much you loved him already, there were times when you saw other girls looking at him, or him making a random joke or reference too subtle for you to understand, but obvious enough that you knew you were missing something. And, yeah, it bothered you a lot. Edmund was a private person, but he told you everything. Or so you’d thought.

Eventually, though, you decided that it just didn’t matter. You weren’t going to let it matter anymore. It wasn’t as if you’d told him everything, either, and besides. There was the war. Something like that was going to affect everything. Hadn’t Edmund and his siblings lived in the countryside before coming to Cambridge? Maybe they were just referencing deeply private things that had happened there.

(It was midnight. Edmund had snuck into your room; your head was nestled into the crook of his neck, and your bodies, still reasonably clothed, were twined together like ivy curling up a brick wall. You’d never really known what it felt like to know a heartbeat could be home until now.

“You know, tomorrow’s going to be our one year anniversary,” Edmund commented offhandedly. His voice was laced with sleep.

You stirred a bit out of your doze. “Really? Didn’t know you were keeping track.” Your tone is teasing, though a lot more tired then his. It’d been a long day for you, full of cleaning and such, and some pent-up energy. It was April 23, 1945. Some people thought the war might end this year. You thought that if it didn’t - or if it did - you’d find a way to marry Edmund. To bind yourselves together, irrevocably.

“Well, I knew we got together in the spring… turns out Lucy was keeping track. Don’t know why. She has a thing about dates.” He shrugged, or tried to. “You know how some people collect bottle caps or marbles? Lu likes writing down important events and their dates. Obsessively.”

You mumbled out a laugh. “I suppose we should do something?”

“I’ll think of something special, Y/N,” Edmund promised you.

He kept his word. The next day he was gone all day. At some point you’d fallen asleep during the night, lulled to darkness by the familiarity of his heartbeat and the murmurings of city noises. It was Saturday, so you dozed until eleven and then spent the day puttering around after going to an art class with Eve.

You put on a light jacket and a summer dress with smart little black shoes at seven, as Edmund had left a note on your desk instructing you that there would be a date night tonight.

He took you to a nice dinner, and you joked around. There was a walk at your favorite park after a small concert composed of his favorite jazz band that you both attended. Eventually the walk led to rose petals, which led to a lit gazebo.

Edmund proposed to you in the middle. You said yes. You were seventeen, your entire life shining on your lips. Edmund was eighteen.)

After the proposal, you both agreed to keep it utterly quiet. Family-wise, only Stella, Lucy, and Eustace knew. They supported your engagement with Edmund a hundred percent. Out of all your friends, you trusted only Jessica to keep quiet about this, and you soon realized you were right. She was the friend who was quiet and trustworthy, someone you wanted in your life in the long-run. Maybe as your only bridesmaid besides Lucy. Stella would be your maid of honor; Eustace would have to fulfill whatever role Edmund wanted.

Surprisingly, Edmund admitted he hadn’t told Susan. You’d met Peter, the eldest Pevensie, and while you weren’t close to him by any means, you were friends, and he was glad that Edmund was happy. Peter had told you once that Edmund was far older then he seemed

(“Ed has an old soul, Y/N. I’d be glad if you always care for him. He’s been through a lot; more then you may ever know.

“What’s that supposed to mean, Peter?” You frowned at him, lowering your Italian soda.

He just sighed, shook his head. “It’s … complicated. And maybe it’s not my place to say. Edmund will tell you in his own time.”).

As far as you knew, Peter, Edmund, and Lucy seemed to love Susan a great deal, but their relationships with her seemed strained. No one would say why, of course, which made it all the more strange and infuriating to you. Whether or not she’d come to the wedding seemed to remain entirely up to her.

Susan was a mysterious figure in your opinion. She was beauty and grace with tragedy written in her skin.

You’d spent the school year trying to keep your grades up, passing notes, participating in a few shenanigans, and placing bets on various bits of school drama. Would Mary become pregnant this year? Or were the rumors of her sleeping around just rumors? Either way, you tried to be her friend (that backfired spectacularly). And would James finally achieve his dream of going on to join the military?

The school year was a lot more eventful not just because of what was happening inside the academic world, though. You were also trying to discreetly plan a wedding with Edmund’s help. You wanted an outdoor wedding; he wanted one in a church. It was hard to navigate through the compromises, but with the help of your siblings and Eustace, those were being made, along with everything else.

The main problems you were both running into was telling your parents, and finding the funds to pay for the wedding. Edmund said that his parents were in America on a trip; Susan had gone with them. Your parents were back in Newcastle upon Tyne. The Pevensies lived in London, nearly four hours away. If you weren’t married now, it would be hard to maintain a long-distance relationship, especially when you still hadn’t mentioned anything to your parents about dating Edmund (partly because you couldn’t get hold of them, and even if you could, you still wouldn’t tell. In your family, like in most English families, personal business was yours alone until it wasn’t).

You were a seventeen year old girl growing in the midst of a huge world war - things weren’t much better for Edmund, who was a year older then you. He couldn’t get drafted to the war as he had Lucy and Eustace to look after (their aunt and uncle weren’t exactly much help, despite their quiet, fussy ways).

Besides. Part of you was scared. You knew you didn’t want to be with anybody else - Edmund was meant to be your husband, and you his wife, now and always. And you definitely weren’t getting cold feet. Things weren’t being rushed (on the contrary, the wedding plans were moving excruciatingly slowly, thanks to the war). It was more just that you knew it would be seen as scandalous; people would ask when you were expecting, or if Edmund was forcing you into this in a very roundabout way. You just wished the reactions would be different, but they weren’t going to change your decision to marry him.

(“Do you ever wonder what people will say when we become married?” you asked Edmund one day. His nineteenth birthday was in a few months, and part of you hoped that the two of you would be married by then.

Ed just looked at you, a bit unfocused. He’d obviously been very deeply invested in the book he was reading, which he’d just put down. “No, of course not, Y/N. You’re the person I want to be with.” He didn’t add forever. It was implied.

You shifted on the couch. “I know, but… we still haven’t told our parents. You haven’t asked my father for his blessing.”

“I thought you said that wasn’t important and to screw tradition,” he replied, frowning. “Do you want me to ask him?”

“No! No. It’s - I’ll deal with him, when I go back home,” you said. If I ever make it back home, you thought uneasily. How long could the war last?

Edmund pulled you close. “Then what’s the problem, YN/N?”

You sighed. “Nothing, Edmund. I’m just not looking forward to what people will say.”

He laughed a bit. “We should say we’re having triplets just for their expressions.”

“You’re awful,” you replied, giggling. But the thought of having children with Edmund some day made you tingly. Part of you wondered how soon you’d have little ones running around, and part of you was squirming uncomfortably at the thought.)

Things were starting to come together with the surprising help of Aunt Alberta when the war ended in September of 1945. You were shuffled back home in the first week of October, and Edmund was back in London a few days before you’d left for home. He promised to write you as often as possible, and talked about taking a trip up to see you for New Year’s Eve. He’d suggested that the two of you tell your parents about the engagement then.

(“Maybe it won’t be as much of a big shock as you think,” Stella said one night. “Mum and Father know he’s courting you, and you’d be expected to marry much sooner rather then later.”  Neither of you pointed out the obvious: your parents would be more then a little annoyed, even if they expected you married by twenty.

“If you say so, Stel,” you replied uncertainly. You were both back home, sitting on her bed. “I just hope it goes well. It’s only two months away, you know. December. I’m not even sure what to get anybody for Christmas, or if I should just handmade everything to save up for the wedding.”

“Save your money.” She brushed out her hair. “You’ll need it for your new home and what have you.”

The truth was that you hadn’t even thought about that. Where would you both live once the honeymoon was over?)

The real truth was that you’d never find out. No plans had been finalized about where you’d live because Edmund died in late November. It broke your heart. The train wreck had been a week and a half after his nineteenth birthday. You were the one to confirm that his body was his, and you could barely hold it together. Susan was there, too, to say that yes, that Eustace, and yes, those were her parents, her siblings…

It was sickening to you, in a way, that death was what brought Susan into your life and vice versa. You’d heard so much implied about her, and so little was actually told to you, that you didn’t know what to expect from her. She seemed like an ice princess until she saw the bodies, and then you saw the ice shattered. Only to be reborn in an iron castle.

Susan was closed off. If she was a mess, she hid it well, up until you came to visit the first time.

(“You don’t understand,” Susan said, hiccuping. She wiped her face. “After… there was a time when we all went to boarding school together. Before I went to America and Lucy and Edmund went to stay in Cambridge. After that - things happened there, but after that, Y/N, things were never quite the same.”

You looked at her. “What do you mean? What happened that drove you apart?”

She laughed, then, hysterical. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. God, that was what the professor told us - Professor Kirke, when I was fifteen. I had to see it myself, and even now I wonder if any of that could have been real. You have no idea the damage it does to you, having so many good accomplishments taken away from you and being forced back into the middle of a war you didn’t ask for and you’re helpless to stop.”

“You’re not making any sense, Susan,” you told her, frustration and concern lacing your voice as you squeezed her hand.)

It felt like you were only present when you were around Susan, and even then, it was hard. The funeral had been awful. You almost didn’t go. Susan was going, though, so you decided to go for her, though you’d never find a damn bit of closure there.

Neither did she, of course, but you both silently agreed to never mention that.

In December, you went up to stay with her for some of the holidays, and your parents didn’t object. They were already concerned about your behavior - sometimes you refused food for a week, too emotionally sick to eat. Most of the time you moved robotically through things. Your parents were worried but emotionally distant. They’d grown up in an entirely different time, and so when faced with this loss, you couldn’t verbalize what you were feeling. You knew you were a mess, and you’d never felt more isolated then you did just then.

Nobody knew you’d lost not just Edmund, your fiancé, but you’d also lost all your friends except for Eve, due to the train wreck. Eve wasn’t much better off then you were, so you never spoke to her. You barely spoke to anybody except Susan and Stella.

It was hard to breathe, to eat, to focus.

Everything you’d started planning for, the future you were forming your life around, was gone. You had no idea how to cope, but being with Susan made things marginally better. You vowed to yourself that you would never re-marry. The thought of being with anybody else made you sick. Nobody had been there for you the way Edmund had, so how could anybody else be better for you, as your mother suggested?

You spent a lot of time sending letters to Susan, thick piles that were sent off to Liverpool, where she lived now. She replied with responses as long as yours, and you spent the next three years trying to see her in person as often as you both could. Sometimes it wasn’t even the fact that you missed her. It was just that Susan bore some of the same genetics as Edmund had; she had the same last name. She’d grown up with him.

Susan could shallowly fill a hole inside you that death had dug.

Sometimes she told you stories about Edmund, Peter, and Lucy during your visits. Sometimes you talked about everything but her family during others. When the latter happened during visits, it felt like every sentence you both spoke had a hidden meaning relating back to Susan’s siblings. You spent hours later trying to decode everything only to end up wondering if you were slightly mad, or just obsessively grieving.

—

Years passed. It wasn’t until 1953 that anything happened to you. Susan was remarried to a nice American man named Tom, a business man who travelled a lot. You painted for a living and worked in a teashop. Susan was content to be an activist, to split her time between politics and housework.

She invited you over one day to watch the coronation of Elizabeth the Second. It was mildly interesting to you, but Susan grumbled halfway through, “Mine was better.”

“Yours was better? You were never crowned Queen, Susan.” You looked at her in confusion.

  “Not in here. In Narnia,” she said wistfully. She looked back at you. “There’s stories about Edmund and us that I never told you about, Y/N…”

21 notes · View notes