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kpopshitposter · 5 years ago

Note

Are these actual people or characters?

ayo ayo ayo

The people on my blog are kpop/cpop/vpop idols, so they’re actual people who just be looking and acting like fictional characters bc they’re so beautiful it doesn’t feel real

Since it really be seeming like you’re in the wrong part of town I thought I’d compile a lil playlist for you… it’s a #-Z of Korean artists I personally listen to on the regular. Complete with song recs! I had a lot of fun putting it together so even if you only bother to listen to one song on it I hope you enjoy it!!

uhhhhhhh it’s a lot (this list should explain why it took me so long to reply to your ask i’m so sorry I hope this is helpful)

Casual disclaimer that if you feel like theres any problematic people mentioned please be aware that i dont pay attention to scandals so this is just about the songs

Also I guess people should feel free to add their faves to the list if they wanna recommend it and I haven’t included them

Alsox2 if any links are wrong im sorry i love u

Feel free to ask me to order them by genre, male/female, or mood or anything like that too if you’d like!! K-pop in general is a really fun and comforting music genre and you should totally give it a chance

2NE1 - I am the best3racha - Matryoshka (MaaAaaAAAAA)4Minute - Whatcha doin’ today

AB6IX - BreatheA.C.E. - Under Cover (I also really recommend Take Me Higher but rlly all of their songs)Agust D - Agust D (TONGUE TECHNOLOGY!! ICONIC. But also The Last and all of his solos)AOA - Bingle BangleASTRO - Moonwalk ATEEZ - Promise and Wave and HALA HALA all of their songs again lmao wow so many talented people in one list

B1A4 - Rollin’BASTARZ - Help Me and omg just take the albumB.A.P - Wake Me Up B-BOMB - Give & Take BIGBANG - LAST DANCE and FANTASTIC BABYBLACKPINK - Kick It they have a lot of good songs tho!!Block B - Be The Light and Don’t Leave and Dreams Come True and No Joke and Toy dkfjghjsw Block B are my ultimate group and I love every single one of their songs - they’re kings of genre varietyBolbbalgan4 - Some and Travel and Ring they have loads of good songs!!!BTS - Blood Sweat & Tears and Dope and Just One Day and Home picking is rlly rlly hard because they have a crazy amount of songs lmao I went with songs where they all have lines

CHUNG HA - Roller CoasterCL - Hello BitchesCLC - Hobgoblin and NoCrush - None also Cereal ft. Zico

Day6 - I Need Somebody and Shoot Me don’t forget to dance to Shoot Me like this (but we’ll get to Stray Kids later)DEAN - The Unknown Guest and Bonnie & Clyde and D (Half Moon) ft Gaeko

Eric Nam - Honestly EXID - Up & Down and I Love YouEXO - Damage and Wait and EL DORADO and Universe and yknow ALL OF THEM they do a lot of different genres!EXO-CBX - Hey Mama!EXO-K - Overdose

F(x) - Rum Pum Pum PumFANXY CHILD - Y

GFRIEND - Me Gustas Tu and Time for the moon night and RoughG(I)-DLE - LATATAGirl’s Day - Something Girls’ Generation - Lion Heart GOT7 - MiracleGRAY - TMI and Late Night with Loco

HEIZE - Don’t Know You and Shut Up & Groove with Dean and Jenga with GaekoHOA - LongingHoody - Like You and Golden with Jay ParkHYUKOH - LOVE YA!

iKON - Love Scenario (this might as well be Korea’s national anthem at this point)INFINITE - AIR and Bad (they don’t have a bad song)I.O.I - Very Very Very ITZY - DALLA DALLA and ICYIU - BBIBBI and Palette ft G-Dragon (she’s ridiculously good)

Jay Park - Me Like Yuh and Solo ft Hoody and Upside Down ft Simon Dominic and Loco and GRAY I really like Mommae ft Ugly Duck tooJENNIE - SOLO J-Hope - Daydream Ji Chang Wook (fight ME LMAO IM SORRY I HAVE TO INCLUDE HIM) - To a Butterfly he’s done a lot of good songs and has a really beautiful voice!! You can listen hereJimin - PromiseJimin Park - April FoolsJin - EpiphanyJJ Project - Tomorrow, Today and Find You (I think all of their lil subunit songs are good)JONGHYUN - MoonJUNNY - Handle You and Magnet TELL ME WHY EVERYONE IS SLEEPING ON JUNNY BC IDK

KKang Daniel - What are you up toKARD - Oh NaNa and Don’t RecallKevin Oh - LoverKEY - Show Me but really NOT A SINGLE BAD SONG IN DIS BITCHKNK - Love You

Lee Hyun - You Are Here (i know it’s random bc it’s from the BTS game album but this song is so so beautiful)Loco - to be completely honest I don’t know if Loco has any solo music but I really like Still ft Crush and Don’t ft Hwasa

Mamamoo - Open Your Mind MOMOLAND - BBoom BBoom Monsta X - No Reason and Ready or Not and Be Quiet yet another one who physically can’t do bad songsMINHO - I’m Home

NCT - Baby Don’t Stop and Highway to Heaven and Simon Says and Jet Lag and Candle Light and Boom (I couldn’t with all the subunits so JSIJFGUH) also I’m gonna include WayV even though they’re not k-pop (they’re an NCT subunit) Come Back and Regular (my most listened to song on spotify) and Let me love u and Take Off and Dream LaunchN.Flying - Hot Potato and Rooftop NU'EST - Where You At

ONE - HeyaheONEUS - Twilight Orange Caramel - Abing abing and Dream of Clara and So Sorry and Cookies, Cream and Mint and Superwoman (they’re my favourite girl group im OC trash even tho they’ve disbanded :]]]]]]] )O.WHEN - Picture

PARK JI HOON - L.O.V.EPENTAGON - Shine P.O - Comme des Garcons

????????? I GENUINELY HAVE NO IDEA NAN MOLLA

Red Velvet - Red Flavor and Aitai-taiRM - Forever rain and Change ft Wale (tbh I only like mono. - his other solo stuff just isn’t for me but feel free to check it out he’s got MVs and stuff on YT!)

Sam Kim - Scent and Make Up ft Crush and It’s You ft ZicoSEVENTEEN - Pretty U and HIGHLIGHT and HOME and THANKS and ALL OF THEM ARE BOPSSSF9 - RPM SHAUN - Way Back Home SHINee - Get The Treasure and Diamond Sky and View they have a lot of songs and a lot of rlly good stuffSimon Dominic - ullah and Simon Dominic and Comfortable with Gray and ONE and WON & ONLY ft Jay Park and Cheerz …….. I like all of his songs as well sofjhrSISTAR - Touch my bodyStray Kids - 4419 and GLOW and My Pace and Chronosaurus and MRIOH anduhh one more time everything they do is worth listening to at least once!! Stray Kids are really all such sweet people and my ultimate bias is Chan from this group so I hope you like them!!SUNMI - Siren and ADDICTSuper Junior - MamacitaSURAN - WINE ft Changmo (produced by SUGA odfjgh)

TT2U - Ososugiruouni and Goodbye TAEMIN - Famous and Tease and Slave and I’m Crying and Thirsty and MOVE TAEYEON - WhyTHE BOYZ - No Air and Giddy Up and Walkin’ in TimeThe Rose - sorry and with you and Like We Used to Do and She’s In The Rain and BABY wow really all of their songs thanks for coming to my ted talkTXT - Nap of a Star and CROWNTriple H - GIRL GIRL GIRLTWICE - Heart Shaker

U-KWON - Let’s Ride also whatever you don’t should definitely NOT check THIS performance out

VV - Winter Bear (not a dry eye in dis bitch)VAV - Give me more and SenoritaVIXX - Chained UpVERIVERY - Tag Tag Tag

WWanna One - Energetic WINNER - AH YEAH and REALLY REALLYWoosung - FACE and MOON

X1 - everything is just teasers right now really but X1-MA IS EPIC SO

Yerin Baek - Blue and As I am (her voice is really incredible and unique)Yoon Jisung - In the RainYoon Jong Shin - Like It and Wi-Fi ft Zico

Zico - I am you, you are me and She’s a Baby and Eureka ft Zion.T and Bermuda Triangle ft Crush and Dean and Artist and ANTI ft G.Soul and Fanxy Child ft FANXY CHILD Zico is CRAZY talented and he’s done a lot with a lot of people and he’s really out here saving the whole hiphop industry Zion.T - Eat and Hello Tutorial ft Seulgi

#answered #kpop #long post

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helloimnotlame · 7 years ago

Text

We Own The Night - Seth Rollins Smut

A/N: Stressed Seth and Reader take drugs and forget about the world to Dance Gavin Dance. Written in the perspective of being high. Drug use and mentions of anxiety. GIF not mine ; Listen to the song here ! <3

♫Forget my jealously You swallowed the demons on your own♫

You never saw yourself doing hardcore drugs in a million years. Everything about it just made the instinct say no. The side effects, the way it tore people's lives into halves..It wasn't a risk you wanted to take. But this....was needed. This was earned. Besides - it wasn’t like you were getting doped up on the street with Brian Griffin. You were with the man who had your life, who you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. He was laying beside you with a deep glaze of darkness that wrote 'high as fuck' in all caps that steamed into his melted fudge eyes to the long spirals of his hair sprawled across his face like a dry mop.

♫Stomp that feeling, your puke is a mutant Can’t think of who did this, well I grew stupid♫

His bronze greek crafted physique was the only thing you could see in the graphite sheets that inspired a black hole sensation making you feel like you were balancing on thin air. You felt like you were floating just above the thermosphere on a wicked cold cloud with the only thing keeping you grounded being a subtle tingling sensation against your leg. Maybe it was just his lapping over yours - but that'd be the easy answer. Your brain was screaming giant eel, but you were too high to care either way.

♫ Say accidents happen, it’s admirable acting

Flicking the back of your ear with my finger ♫

Your attention was on smile across his face that you never saw before. It wasn’t one of those fake smiles he put on for the kicks nor the solid hoax he put one in response to you asking if he was okay. This - was as genuine as the night. How much you'd give to see him like this all the time..for him to as happy as he was now everyday..it’s a shame how much the law demonizes drugs.

��Separate is the way though, no second is the place though Just fake it through the day and the night is your god.♫

His body folded to press his nose against the smooth white desk beside you, lined with alleys of the devil’s snow. His eyelids laid shut in anticipation, his nose inhaling the dusk in one quick motion, leaving no other evidence other than the small residue marking his nose. “Heh, fuck” His ash and sandpaper voice groaned. The TV wasn't even on yet all you could hear when he spoke was Grover form Sesame Street. His voice was already raspy as it was without the drugs and the crank only enhanced it. The sound wasn't bad and if you weren’t high you’d enjoy the harmonic sounds however in this moment, it was too cringey to bear. "Shhh" your finger faintly pressed against his lips but you felt ear. At least your vision manageable or else you would've start digging for gold. His voice croaked as a laugh in response. "Whatever...girl..." that smile again.

♫ Let your hair down have one more round Drink til you believe it Sloppy kisses, dirty wishes Baby, this is living ♫

Deep down there was hope that this wouldn't ruin his career. Its hard policy with the crank. But that hard policy is what lead him here in the first place. The constant spotlight, the immense workouts, you could tell he was getting frantic. But, the rest of the world's thoughts came later. Now, it was trippy vision, pure relaxation and post-hardcore. "I...I feel like I'm alone right now" his dreary voice stuttered, leading him on top of you - his weight hitting you like the weight a fat baby but still with the presence of its delicacy. He wasn’t holding back. His velvet hands smoothed across your arm until it stopped just in the crease, the pricky tip of a needle replacing his hand. There was a sudden rock in your stomach that spewed fumes of anxiety that you didn’t feel with the crank. Guess you did need another dose. “It’ll only just be a second babygirl...don’t worry...I got you” his scratchy voice consoled, waiting for you to nod your head in permission before continuing. Sure he was high out of his, but at least he was still compassionate. before piercing your skin with the sharp needle and wasting the toxin into your stream. if only you were stable enough for pain. once all the fluid was drained, he released, tossing away the syringe and cupping your chin in his hands. You shared grins - societies renegade druggies.

♫Get up off the wall come on get down get down Give into moment and live now live now♫

It wasn’t long till you felt the effect kick in - your body shivering under him as waves of nirvana poured into your veins. No wonder people get hooked on this shit. It was a feeling like nothing other - but you were strong. And it was only this one time. Right? "That's my girl" he purred his breath the gin to your tonic, the aurora he gave off better than the drugs. “Yknow, I heard this shit is good for the relationship stuff... and yknow it's hard. So many people fuckin' watching and telling me how to love.." You heard his words loud and clear and even digested every word he said. A response though - you'd have to take a rain check. All you felt like saying was "koala" and didn't know why. Seth noticed and with the subtle drag his tongue glided across his bottom lip in desire for your own, your lips connected, the taste of him was the same as yours but a bit sweeter.

♫I have the heart of a coward Here in my arms is exactly where I want you We own the night♫

The kiss was during with no form yet tumbles of passion found. He got on top of you yet weightless. The gray cloth of his sweatpants hoovering above you was like a weightless kite. His warm lips touched your neck sparking instant sensuality and to the beat of Tillian’s voice your bodies moved ships that clashed into the swivels of the duvet. “You want it ?...As much as I do?” he gasped in between kisses, his lazy body rested into the crook of your neck - his breath panting against your skin almost comparable to the smack of air you fell when entering Walmart.

♫Say accidents happen, it’s admirable acting

Flicking the back of your ear with my finger♫

“I...I want it as much as you do” The words didn’t feel like it came from your mouth. For all you knew - you were a cloud carrying all the hippies of South Central through the sky. And maybe you’d be one of those clouds who look like something legible. Before you could think more you felt his wet lips grasp loosely at your skin. The subtle tingles it left was no match for its real life counterpart. This, was like snake kisses. “You taste so good” he mummered as he suckled on your neck. Who knew the taste of skin would be enjoyable..Maybe it was the perfume. "Yeah?" Hypothetical yet out of your mouth like butter. "Yeah" his dry voice purred in confirmation. If only the words were “Okay” the two of you would’ve been a perfect spin off to The Fault in Our Stars.

♫See you in battle; your boat is my paddle Your life is my business; your plaque on my wall♫

And if the two of you were stars - boy would there be many faults. But you shined together and only for each other. That’s what mattered. The feeling of Seth’s persusaive tongue, his hands grabbing at your body in complete desire, the aching warmness that began building between your legs...Everything going on began to become so intense and you could feel small moans breathing through your lungs as if it was your breath. "Shhh...baby...you just squaked" Seth cooed giggling under his breath, his finger dragging your lips just as you did. Is that sound you made? You were thinking if it was so much you couldn’t even remember. If only anxiety could be this peaceful in real life. “I got you baby girl...it’s okay”. He was still chucking about it yet you still got the message that it was your cue to relax and let be, let be. You owned the night.

♫I need poison mitigate my pain Feel my toes go golden up in flames Give me false hope in my veins Tranquilize and modify my brain♫

The bare air invaded your skin vulnerable skin as your clothes fell to the beside to the mercy of Seth’s finger pads. His honey dripped body hovered over you like smooth molasses, his aching erection rubbing gliding across your clit giving you chills. A suave hiss slipped from his lips in response to feeling his tip meet your sensitive place, his velvety hand cupping the side of your cheek. By the look in his devilish eyes you could tell he was ready, and you only returned the look. His hips lined up perfectly against yours, his fat cock smoothing into your hole giving you instant sensations at the feeling of being filled. With the high the was no space for pain, but only the immense pleasure you felt from him hips bucking into yours, and his dick filling your walls. “Oh fuck” you breathed, hiking your back and clutching onto his forearms. It was like an all in one sex toy. Everything was twice as hard, twice a deep, all the things you begged him for in normal circumstances. Everything was so intense...and it was amazing. He was writhed with pleasure too by his facial expression twitching trying to find the right way to express itself at the warm tightness of you that sent him into ecstasy.

♫Where did I go wrong? There's nothing I can do the thrill is gone So I play these nervous songs Pretend that I’m not barely hanging on♫

Like steam blowing gently at the boulders your stomach built - you felt another high approaching the one you were already hugged inside. With each pulse and twitch his hard dick writhed through you - you could feel he was going there too.

"Good girl..good girl" he rambled on as his aggression increased, your body bouncing with each thrust he gave. "My precious little angel...Oh my fuck I need you...I love you...” You could fell his emotions pour out into the cup of escasty, that you took a long gulp of, your orgasm erupting and releasing like little small volcanoes. The highs you shared spoke for itself - Seth collapsing on top of you, and your own body in itself as you laid restlestly in the duvet.

♫ And medicate Medicate Medicate me all night long♫

That high was over but you still were consumed. It was just added pleasure into the pool of divine you were bathing in. You could tell Seth felt the same way as he fell back into his previous position, right beside you, only his half of his body was now sprawled out on top of yours carelessly. He turned his head to look at you - a crooked yet soft smile across his lips. “Yknow - I’m seeing stuff n’ shit right now but..we’re - we’re in this together...Forever”. Each of Seth's words were dragged by the grasp of his weary voice yet you could tell it was genuine. All the words he wanted to say all this time came out.

#seth rollins smut #seth rollins dirty imagine #smut #dirty imagine #wwe smut #wwe dirty imagine #drug smut #drug imagine #onlydodrugswithsethrollins

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tyedyebaby · 4 years ago

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my opinion on the 4/23 smackdown

meant to do this a lot earlier but yknow. Stupidity is Rampant where I am involved. also btw I watched the episode but I have a bad memory so I'm getting most of my info from an article im linking at the end

anyway!!

the beginning

if I remember correctly, cesaro was about to cut a promo but then seth interrupted him and cut a promo and they argue just a little and then jey interrupted both of them and cut a maybe promo and seth and jey team up and start circling cesaro and it looked badass and then daniel bryan interrupted him and cut a promo (basically owning seth and jey) and then ROMAN interrupted everyone and started bitching and then roman left and commercial break and boom tag match. after a match that lasts through two commercial breaks and 45 minutes with seth up and fucking leaving ¾ of the way through, daniel and cesaro win.

I love and hate this because a) it's the closest seth and roman have come to interacting in a damn while [to my knowledge anyway] and hey, daniel hyping cesaro is fucking great, and jey. jey!, b) it felt strange to have roman address everyone but seth because he literally verbally addressed everyone but seth. yeah seth was dealt a rain check but still I want WORDS man. CONVERSATION. it also strikes me as strange that seth left jey to the mercy of the face team because "I don't have time for this, I'm seth freakin' rollins" and he's AWOL for the rest of the show. dubious.

then theres a backstage segment with adam pearce, sonya deville, and apollo crews in which apollo complains about having to defend his title tonight (that's how wrestling works, genius). adam eventually reveals that apollos opponent is kevin owens, which, HUH?!? what happened to beating sense into sami?? tho maybe he's planning to get a title to prove a point to sami or something. it felt weirdly sudden to me either way.

then jey shows up, blah blah you disrespected the tribal chief blah blah and then he says he feels sick and smth about getting put down. typical guard dog jey imo, nothing incredibly notable.

then your regularly scheduled Women's Match That Feels Like It Was Thrown In Arbitrarily featuring nia jax and tamina. reginald, shayna, and natalya were also there, because why wouldn't they be. shayna interferes and it's not seen by the ref, but tamina wins regardless, so all is well I guess? idk I just wish there was more depth in the women's division and less tag action and a LOT less reginald.

KO shows up, talks about how it's his first IC title match in years, how he was delighted, how he wasnt expecting this but isn't complaining, how he's gonna knock apollo down, and then big e shows up because he's cool like that! then big es like "hahaha ur cool n shit but this is my match" and kevin goes "yeah this is ur match but not this week because this week is my match and I'll be champ" and they go "hahahahahaha" yknow the white girl fake laugh

it was funny to me but I didn't expect kevin still.

daniel bryan then tells adam pearce to make the match between roman and cesaro and when adam says he'll try dbry tells him to do more than try. persistent.

then comes the ic title match! sami joins commentary midway through the match and watches apollo retain after quite a bit via Surprise Rollup My Beloved (/s), kevin hit the stunner after losing, and the huge azeez guy fuckin' nail kevin in the face. then, sami gets up and dances over kevin which is the funniest damn thing

anyway I love kevin and hate apollo but I'm glad things ended how they did because this really is big es match.

then this segment, which I can only describe with this screenshot of the article I'm using to refresh my memory

just paul heyman rambling. typical.

then apollo shows up, talks, gets attacked by big e, and then gets checked up on by azeez.

then, we see aleister black (good to know you're alive, buddy!) and hes surrounded by candles, wearing glasses with a book in his hands. he tells a story from his childhood that involves dragons and then cuts a promo that digs at the viewers. I think aleisters character is interesting but I was also on video call with my partner so I didn't catch all of it BDIXNAODBSKS

then we see dolph ziggler and robbery noodle, and they cut a promo on how rey mysterio is epic but his son has "big gucci shoes" to fill. then we get the street profits, who are interrupted by BAYLEY MY BELOVED. she cuts a promo on how she's gonna kick biancas selfish spoiled ass basically BUT THE FUNNY PART is that montez was on the phone tattle tailing on bayley TO BIANCA. bianca shows up and a match between bianca and bayley is made for backla- scuse me, wrestlemania backlash. seeing bianca and bayley in the same frame made my heart happy regardless of context.

the mysterios take on the alpha academy, have some close calls, and then rey wins with the 619 as he does. smooth. there was nothing overly remarkable about it. it was just...a good match. wrestling.

then Good Ole Tony (cesaro) comes out with dbry. they taunt (?) roman, who comes out and challenges daniel for his own title, blatantly ignoring cesaro. BUT if daniel loses he has to leave smackdown. cesaro urges daniel to accept, and daniel does, loudly.

overall:

I think it was okay! I've always preferred smackdown to raw but there were things I couldn't make sense of, like kevin owens's seemingly sudden addition to the IC title scene and the women's tag matches in general. I was also miffed that seth just kinda...disappeared...in the middle of his match...and didn't show up...for the rest of the show. could just be me.

thank you for coming to my TEDtalk

#crowfeathers.txt #wwe #wrestling #i hope its ok

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dreams-ssssss-diary · 6 years ago

Text

2/3/19

I came back to Club Penguin after a while. It was odd, since ever since it shut down I didn’t have time to play on it. I guess I was thinking about it because I have a school assignment to make a game, and I mentioned trying to learn how to LAN connect Club Penguin...

Walking around, I felt like the Club Penguin I knew was just another city slums, with nothing interesting to see anymore. Shady, silent, the like. I waddled up to the ski lift. You know, the one in the PSA missions where you replace the belt with an actual belt, and it works? I saw that the entire thing was functionless, like a figurine that doesn’t do anything. In my heart, I wanted things to come back. I knew if there was anyone out there encouraging me to bring things back that made people happy, the entire community had my back, so long as I could, yknow, do it.

So I did. I have no idea how, but I started coding the ski lift to take pairs of two down a sledding path and then show them their scores. I finished the bare bones of the event and that was when people passing by noticed. They were excited. It’s coming back? How? You, some lone penguin, is going to bring this all back?

I had a lot of pressure. If there was one thing everyone in Club Penguin loved as a whole, it was sledding. To mess up the community’s most beloved game is to spit on Club Penguin’s grave. It’s immoral. So I did more bells and whistles. I asked willing onlookers to help me mocap animations for the end screen where you and your sledding partner look at the score board. I made about four that I can remember when

get this

Tripe H threatened to take away what I was making for the entire community. He said if I wanted to finish this project for the community, I would have to fight against him. Seth Rollins was my backup, and Triple H had another guy too, and then R Truth was there. Because R Truth.

We discussed the bracket, and then instead of any fighting yet, we had this “preliminary game” where hmm...it was a bunch of grains of rice, set up on a table. Each player claims a circle of colored rice (usually denoted in my dream by a bunched up pretty flower design) and the opponent’s goal is to destroy your area and also guess the exact amount they toss this ball to do it.

It sounds weird, but here’s an example: Triple H aims for my spot, and says “13 inches” and he tosses the tiny ball with this contraption I didn’t quite see. He hits very close to my area, and the ball sticks in place (no bouncing?). I pulled out a ruler and Triple H’s estimate was a little off, 13 inches was barely across the table from us. So I guess I was safe?

Someone commented about how I got a ruler out, which was funny I guess. Then I got some head pats and I felt like I lost track of time. I should be focusing and concentrating on winning so that I can continue my project for my fellow penguins...but head pats good.

---------------------------------------------------------*

I had a secret 6th class that barely gets any physical class time. Something called “Pathology”. All that I know about pathology, is diseases. The class takes place in the Science building of my school, basically, the token maze building.

I kept trying to find it, and mainly ended up in a place where the Sailor Scouts were fighting this girl. She seemed, off. She had long black hair, and had bags under her eyes. Her clothes kept changing, from a white dress to just some normal clothes, and every time she fell over, she wouldn’t get up. But the battle wasn’t over. The fight played on a loop every time I passed by, and the last time I stayed, because I noticed the girl seemed relevant. Like, she was probably sick with something and all the Sailor Scouts will get infected, which was why when she was knocked down “the battle wasn’t over”. You see?

So I stayed and watched. Tuxedo Mask, after hitting her a few times on the ground, walked up to her and asked her to get up. When she didn’t respond, Moon told her that her team won’t hurt her if she told her what was going on. The sick girl sat up and Tuxedo Mask sat down next to her. He told her politely that defeat should be taken with pride.

Then the girl said something, a rhyme. It sucks because I memorized the rhyme up until now. Basically, it was a spell that allowed her to curse someone with a tag that allowed her to see and invade the cursed one’s thoughts. In Tuxedo Mask’s thoughts, was a t-posed man being circled by animal figurines floating around the man, and the environment was a large static cube. The girl, after cursing Tuxedo Mask, was seen popping into the weird t-pose man place.

The girl and Tuxedo Mask disappeared, and in their place piles of books and video games all about he Silent Hill franchise. For some reason I thought this meant my “textbook” for my pathology class was to either read or play all of the Silent Hill stories, even though I’m sure that Silent Hill isn’t 100% about diseases. But whatever.

--------------------*

ever since I woke up, this song is stuck in my head: here

still trying to figure out why :>

#dreams

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grizzlefur · 8 years ago

Text

WWEm - Dab v Banana: Whoever Wins, We Look Dumb

Transmission date: Monday 1/Tuesday 2 May 2017

Bust open those diet planners, it's time for SUNDAY NIGHT PALEO!

wait

shit

it's monday afternoon raw

welp, keep it rolling

so yeah, this is the raw after payback

which i mostly remember, but largely thanks to looking it up

we're in sacramento

and as the show starts, the women's division are in the ring

it's carpeted and there's a podium

and here comes alexa to do a big entrance

bayley is somewhat less than impressed

recap slideshow of the title match from payback

featuring alexa stark and head trauma

bayley's wearing a sleeveless jacket over her gear for some reason

alexa sarcastically thanks everyone for turning up because she told kurt to tell them to

god, i love all the words she says

apparently the queen is dead

well, that's a hell of a way to find out

alexa proclaims herself a goddess

that's usually bray's thing

she's set up her own coronation because just being given a belt isn't enough for her

thanks mickie for being an inspiration while also calling her old

thanks sasha, who is dressed even more as a matador than usual

for getting pinned

sasha gets up in her face, she backs up and walks into nia

alexa's like you know what we're good moving on

emma's just stood there smirking like i have no history with you i'll just get the popcorn

alexa gets on the podium, remembers to thank bayley at last

crowd start chanting for bayley, alexa's like yeah thanks i do know her name

talks smack about her family in the audience, bayley is getting tenser and tenser

alexa says bayley's nephews finally have a real role model, bayley's like fuck it, tips over the podium, brawl begins

cut to ads, and we come back on a tag match

bayley/sasha/dana/mickie v alexa/emma/nia/alicia

emma takes some hits, you can just hear alexa on the apron shouting, "Cmon Emma, you're embarrassing us!"

mickie tags in to kick emma in the face seven different ways

emma's lost the smiley boob face, which is a shame

but she has taken to wearing turquoise lipstick, so i can get behind that

dana gets a phase against alicia, in which we can see how much she's improved

she's actually a pretty good wrestler now

alicia's gear has been redesigned again, and this time seems to have been constructed largely at random

this is such an archetypal whole-division let's-all-do-our-spots exhibition tag match

sasha decides to slow down the formula by putting alicia in a leg trap straitjacket for a solid minute

alexa shouts at alicia to come and tag, alicia, still tied in knots by sasha, shouts back "I'M TRYING!"

cut to ads, and when we come back nia jax has punched sasha's soul out

nia tags in, elbow drops sasha in the back

ouch

alexa is standing at ringside doing the whole let's you and him fight thing

refusing to even entertain the idea of tagging in

nia does her chancery toss on sasha so the slowmo replay guy has something to do

sasha fights out a few times, with nia dropping her again every time, and finally tagging alexa in

sasha has many skills, but nobody ever talks about how well she bumps

she can take damage like nobody's business

sasha finally manages to get a tag, enter bayley, grudge match commences

mashes alexa's face into the turnbuckle, yknow, like babyfaces do

bayley to belly for a near-fall, broken by nia doing an elbow drop

cue everyone beating on everyone

dana and mickie take down nia, emma takes dana, alicia takes sasha, alexa takes the distraction to rake bayley's eyes and ddt for the pin

i know i said formula, but it's a good formula

that was a good match

heels pose in the ring, faces carry their heroine out, alexa mocks everyone in the world

yes, that includes you

and now we talk about braun/roman

and a replay of braun v. ambulance round 2

later we have updates on both of their condition

also seth rollins tells us what's next

but actually next, chickenfucker and large have a match

enzo swaggers in like he's shat himself

or maybe he's riding a very short invisible horse

apparently they haven't slept, because they had a match

which was at like 4 p.m. local time

you guys need to sort out your sleep schedule

mid-smacktalk, anderson and gallows blindside them but end up getting thrown out of the ring

enzo looks even more concussed than usual

cut to ads, cut back and the match is on

it's enzo/gallows solo, which is a totally reasonable matchup

booker t makes a public enemy reference to show us how cool he is

although that consisted of just naming people who were in public enemy before mumbling and talking about something else, having never quite reached whatever point he was aiming for

most of this match has comprised gallows knocking enzo down, then doing wolfpac hands over him

he does know that's not how you pin someone, right?

i mean, i think enzo's a tool, but still, five solid minutes of him getting the shit kicked out of him does not make entertaining television

enzo keeps getting brief showings of offence before gallows is just like lol no and kicks him in the face

even the announce team are making fun of booker for talking shit and never finding the point

enzo gets a second rope dropkick, gallows actually goes down for once

gallows ends up on his knees, enzo does an honest to god randy-style punt to his head

not something i expected to see

near-pin off that, then a brief confrontation between cass and karl lets gallows drop enzo for the pin

well, that was definitely a worthy continuation of the preshow

and now we're in the locker room

tjp approaches neville to be smug and insouciant

and ask about his near-loss last night

neville's like fuck off mate, i like you but anyone who says that can still go fuck themselves

apparently it was the referee's fault

neville does a whole thing about how austin is occupying tj's rightful contendership spot

so we've got perkins/aries later

this is so sith

darth neville swishes off, cut to ads

up next, seth rollins does something

either someone's broken a drum machine, or here he comes

swaggers in like yeah i am awesome aren't i, but now we all love him for it

pumps the crowd, who are apparently feeling good

seth's out to do a freestyle speech about the fans and his career and it sounds like he's getting a lifetime achievement award or some shit

"You gotta embrace the sucky part of life just as much as the good stuff, man."

deep

he's beaten everybody around, so now he wants brock

or more specifically, the belt

he's like i've been to suplex city and fuck that place

its tripadvisor ratings must be terrible

"Large man pounded me into jam. Wifi coverage acceptable. No breakfast. 1.5/5"

in bursts finn to be like hey wait a minute are you forgetting the bit where i beat you for that title with ONE FUCKING ARM fuck away off with you

and...here's dean?

what claim does he even have

swings in with his belt, makes some jokes, does a thing about fighting champions

like we all know brock no longer exists, so why isn't everyone here to fight me fuck it i'm dean ambrose i'll fight anyone one time i punched a toddler for a happy meal toy he found in a gutter i stepped on my mother's face to get to the last slice of borthday cake i'm crazy fuck it

enter an angry miz, who doesn't like dean making a mockery of his belt

finn steps to him, miz is like yeah you cheapshotted me good job sod off

calls dean out for not defending the belt at payback

and just straight-up calls seth a gimp

didn't know that was pg

apparently we all hate miz because he's too good at wrestling

dean, finn and seth all tell him to shut up in perfect unison

dean's like hey i can sort this out, you know what everyone likes? Everyone likes seeing miz get beaten up

gets his mobile out, calls kurt

who apparently is not happy dean has his personal number

but he has agreed to miz/seth/finn for ic title contendership tonight

dean's like fuck i'm good and walks out, leaves the others arguing

i love how the ic belt is the de facto top title now that brock's fucked away off to his house made of suplexes

but now, let's have a dramatic slideshow of roman/braun at payback

while the announcers remind us that roman, braun and kalisto have all been in hospital

i had forgotten how brutal then end of that match was

.but braun breaking the ambulance is still hilarious

his is like an anime fight scene

what with the length, constant false endings, and everyone ending up totally fucked

is this braun's final form

but now, purple rope time

6-man tag, which is wwe code for 'we finished all the storylines we had planned, let's put everyone in the ring at once so we can set up the new feuds'

nese/kendrick/dar versus...

i'm guessing swann/ali/gallagher

oh look, it's rich swann

oh yeah, wait, tozawa

how the fuck did i forget him

probably because in my mind he's main eventing everything

and jack

two out of three, i guess

jack comes out with spare umbrellas so all three of them can pose with them

truly gentlemanly

we open with kendrick/tozawa, continuing their educate-off

kendrick's tights tonight are the flat blue of default-coloured clothes on your minimum-effort CAW

kendrick tags out to nese, who beats the fuck out of tozawa

so yeah, this is just another multi-man exhibition thing

have we had any singles matches so far?

and i'm not counting enzo/gallows, because that was basically a tag match

three babyfaces team up to throw tony nese at noam and brian as we cut to break

tony is still riding for astana, and i remain unconvinced that those colours suit him

vertical holds akira with one arm while admiring his lovely bicep, before just dumping him on the top rope

...ow

holds him in a torture rack for ages, looking inches from just saying fuck it and dropping a burning hammer

which would be one hell of a way to get fired

tozawa finally manages to tag out off the distraction of tony nese being a dick, brawlery begins

captain's hook on gallagher, akira breaks it with a shining wizard

akira and rich keep the others occupied while jack hits his big dropkick for the pin

good match, but zero narrative content

and also, where the fuck is mustafa ali

but now, let's talk about the tag scene

and the ongoing saga of jeff hardy's tooth

complete with incisive commentary

(i'm sorry)

and the KKB finally turning heel

and now we get slowmo highlighted video of the tooth leaving his mouth for some reason

but now, here come my favourite tag team to explain themselves

both wearing heavy black jackets and aviator shades now

so you know they're evil

also lessens the blinding risk of their intro somewhat

the crowd aren't sure how to react

oh, now the music stops, the boos are in

oh my god, people are booing cesaro

there's a thing

shockingly, i like their coats

sheamus does a whole thing about how he's finally free to admit that he's always hated the audience because they've always been shit to him

which is fair, really

and cesaro's joined him on the dark side because mania was supposed to be their moment until the hardyz showed up

he gets a fiery bit ripping on the crowd for embracing a nostalgia act over current talent

which is also totally fair

i do love these two on the mic

they take it to the hardyz for being a novelty act

the crowd are finally getting properly behind booing them

this is a proper heel turn with some reason and thought behind it

i approve

apparently they are the bar

said like it's their new catchphrase

and here come said novelty act

matt does one delete arm, gets on the mic with his weird in-between accent

and then they do one more together before rushing the ring

cesaro and sheamus are just like fuck that and walk off before they can get their hands on them

i like this feud a lot

you could probably tell

and now, charly interviews miz and maryse in a room made of led boards

asking about the match tonight

miz does a whole speech about method acting, and while the frame's on him, charly turns into dean

asks another sarcastic question, miz gives him a dirty look and walks off

but now, heath and rhyno are here?

video from earlier tonight, with heath giving apollo parenting advice

until titus appears to shield his protégé like dude i'm the best dad why wouldn't you come to me i'm hurt

so now here they come too

the match is heath/apollo

i'm not sure where this angle is going, so let's see

heath gets put in a headscissors, jumps out of it and lands into a headlock, shouting "THAT'S A COUNTER, BABY!"

god, i love that redneck weirdo

and he is really technically good

for all that i don't really get the story of it, this is a good technical match

most of the narrative is in the reactions of their managers

titus distracts heath briefly, spinout powerbomb for the pin

titus does his post-win selfie with apollo, rhyno photobombs them because of course he does

like fuck my wounded tag partner, this'll be hilarious

apparently on 205 we have tjp/lince, ali/gulak and dar/swann

sounds good

but now, we talk about two men murdering each other last night

at least, now we advance the story

we've been talking about it all night

on which note, here comes a kurt

not sure it needs him to be out here, but fuck it, it's kurt angle, everyone loves him

and his weird kidney bean head

apparently braun/roman was the most physical match kurt's ever seen

[citation needed]

apparently roman has reinjured his ribs, and braun tore his rotator cuff

god, i hope that's a work

speech continues, WYATT CUT

there's no real reason for bray to be here, it's just fun to fuck with the administration

and besides, he needs something to do now that his last victim is on a different show

(can i have a sidebar to talk about how much i hope the house of horrors is going to be a recurring thing?)

(cos i really do)

music cuts, lights stay down except for one on bray and kurt

kurt's stood there like what the actual fuck

bray introduces himself to kurt, everyone pops

apparently he's here tonight as our saviour

i want to see his door-to-door missionaries

apparently randy will forever be trapped in the house of horrors

did he not watch the second half of the match either?

so now that's done, bray has come here as the angel of raw

he can fix us all, apparently

every part of him can heal us from the poison we can't feel

so bray's here to ask if kurt is willing to let him do his work

kurt's like i don't fucking know, that was super vague

but this is my show

which elicits major cackling from bray

and he's like sure, but this is my world

wyatt cut, end

and now dean is back in interview mode

turns up in the locker room, sticks a mic in seth's face like how are you feeling about the match tonight

seth's like what the fuck is this why are you doing interviews this wasn't scheduled or anything

to which dean counters with "Well, there are cameras in here. Be pretty weird if there were cameras in the locker room and there *wasn't* an interview planned."

this is probably the best-written episode of raw in like ever

dean gets sidetracked pitching his new interview show on the network

wants it to be the today show or the daily show

seth's like um dude those are real shows

dean asks seth how he feels about the prospect of winning this and facing dean ambrose, seth gives him a weird look and does the rest of the interview in the third person too#

this is fucking gold

they do a semi-friendly faceoff, dean's like welp dean got surprised once, won't happen again

[tensionnnnnnn]

signs off (to gorilla), and it's cruiserweight time vol. 2

(for the record, the first time he signed off to bobby and gene)

so yes, it's Dab v Banana: Whoever Wins, We Look Dumb

tj finally gets an attack phase in, thanks entirely ti crotching austin on the turnbuckle

works the knee, wraps it up in the ropes

so yeah, narrative is happening

stands on austin's knee and dabs, because twat

i am enjoying angry tjp with something to prove, as opposed to entitled worthy millennial tjp

austin's fighting in underdog mode, so he's so going to win

ooh, tj bullfights austin into the post, then gets him in a half-crab while sitting on the top turnbuckle

that ticks my shit-i've-never-seen-before box

austin gets the upper hand, hits the sloppiest fucking suicide dive ever

sort it out, austin

although i guess that could just be him selling damage

but hey

and now he gets the whole pendulum elbow and second rope elbow drop combos

tj goes for a detonation kick, austin counters with a shin breaker and suplex, goes for the discus fivearm, tj kicks him in the hurt knee, goes for detonation again, austin counters directly into the last chancery for the tap

good match, lovely finish

as the ref's raising austin's hand, tj chop blocks him and puts him in a kneebar, because, once again, twat

ref finally pulls him off, so he saunters off, smirking like douchebag pinoy fred savage

cut to backstage, finn gets ambushed by interview dean

finn is hardcore, does his whole fuck nerves i'm awesome thing, so dean finishes up by giving him a twinkie

"For the love of God, man, eat a carb!"

outstanding moment, not damaged at all by the fact that i had it spoiled

finn takes one bite and stalks off, dean starts eating the rest, when *atmospheric strum* elias shitting samson looms out of the shadows

dean's just like okay cool i have music now, asks him for pearl jam

elias gives him a look, walks off, still playing

huh

and...cut to goldust?

pitching a film to kurt

The Golden Quest

truth translates, they want a title match

kurt's like jesus guys stop asking me you never win anything you can't have a title match why the fuck would that happen

goldust prevails upon him some more, kurt finally caves and puts them in a turmoil match for contendership next week

they leave, kurt's just like thank fuck they're gone

and now the announce team do a thing about jericho, despite him not being on this show any more

cue facebook video of kurt bidding him farewell

well, that advanced approximately nothing

but was short

so hey, swings and roundabouts

but now it's main event time

*does the arms*

oh my god i just flashed forward to how sweet it'll be the first time he does the demon entrance again

it's gonna be so good

whatever you think about miz, you've got to admit that entrance is just the most polished thing

and maryse is spectacularly attired, as ever

one day i'll get through a show without being desperately jealous of maryse's wardrobe, but it is not this day

in contrast to those two, seth's entrance is just shouting at the crowd and amping them up

aka cenaing all over the place

this is the classic triple threat dynamic of heel/face/i'm a fucking demon screw your dichotomies

naturally, miz opens by rolling out like it's cool you guys have your match

and he'll lurk at the edge until he sees an opportunity

every time there's a pin attempt, he lunges into the ring and they just look at him until he's just like ooooookaaaaaaaay and slides back out

they're finally giving up on that plan and going after miz

seth chases miz, miz runs into the ring, sees finn is still there and is just like ...ah

tries to talk his way out of it, they both kick him in the face

proper three-way begins

but most of it is still seth/finn, to be honest

and you know what?

i don't give a shit

the whole match could be seth/finn and i'd still watch the crap out of it

it'd be amazing

seth goes for a tope, maryse gets deployed as a shield

finn goes for him, she does it again

but that opens him up for seth

i've just noticed how much black and silver gear we have in the ring

seth goes to the top rope, miz pushes him off, he falls to ringside, lands feet-first and his his head on the barricade

jesus, dude,

please don't die

miz goes for his bryan spot, gets kicked in the face

seth appears back in the ring to crossbody finn, lands on his neck, we don't even get a good shot of it because miz headbutts the camera

jesus christ, seth

cool it down like 20%

it'll still be great, and you won't die

by now, everybody in this match is just beat to shit

and it's been great

finn tries to get back in the ring, miz hits him with seth

lines them both up for the yes kicks

finn throws him at seth, who catches him into a ddt hold, then drops it down as finn kicks him in the face

this is fucking balletic

finn kicks miz out of the ring, clotheslines seth out, then runs along the apron to punt miz in the head, runs all the way around to do a massive dropkick launching seth into the barricade, then carries him into the ring for a 1916

miz breaks the pin

i really thought that was gonna be the finish

what a fucking sequence

god, i've missed finn

sling blades seth, lines up for a corner dropkick, miz crotches him into the ring post

mis goes for a finale, seth counters, miz kicks him in the knee and ddts him

and now, figure four

finn breaks it by kicking miz in the head again, near-fall

i have no fucking clue where this match is going to go, but it's fantastic

everyone kicks everyone in the head, seth nearly pins finn

seriously, maybe cool it with the headkicking

i hear it's not good for you

miz tries a comeback, seth ddts him into the post, then hits them both with a double blockbuster, and frog splash for the near-fall

hoooooly shit

the crowd are going absolutely mental, and who can blame them

miz goes to the top rope, seth throws finn at the cameraman and counters into a superplex and a falcon arrow

that's the speed you superplex at

and STILL no pin

suicide dives both of them, when samoa fucking joe spinebusters him at ringside and walks off shouting

so guess we're doing that

sling blade to miz, corner dropkick, lines up for the coup de grace, FUCKING WYATT CUT and bray pushes him off the top and hits sister abigail, than vanishes in another cut

what the actual fuck is going on

and miz crawls over to pin finn and carry on the dean/miz feud

so coming out of that, we have dean/miz (fun), joe/seth (great), and bray/finn (HYPE HYPE HYPE)

that was a great match, capping off a really good episode and setting up a load of good feauds

i am a happy shitposter

and we fade on miz and maryse embracing on the ramp, finn seething in the ring, and ofiicials checking on seth slumped against the barricade like what's going on did i win

wow

*exhales*

with a perhaps-vain hope that that momentum will continue, i'm gonna go get a drink (i think we all need one), and then we're going to SMACK MONDAY AFTERNOON DOWN!

(wait no, it's monday afternoon smackdown)

(daniel, can you *please* stop delivering my memos in jigsaw form)

and in my case, that drink is a carton of strawberry-flavoured soya milk, because i'm hardcore

but yes

downsmackery

we open with video from earlier, with jinder doing a triumphal photoshoot with the belt

until shane turns up like ahem don't think that's yours

jinder scowls, cut to titles

apparently jinder's fighting sami later

burlesque!lana is in the titles, despite never having actually turned up

and the show proper opens with the commissioner soft-shoeing his way in, as usual

shane does a cheap pop, so at least now i know where we are

(fresno, for the record)

shane does a big intro for smackdown's latest bescarfed title-holder

oh my god he should replace the belt with a championship scarf

make it happen, wwe

scrotumhat on announce somehow draws a straight line from jericho beating the rock and stone cold to being here tonight

jericho gives us a smack it down, maaaaaaaaaan, even i groan

shane cuts to the chase, announces that kevin's getting his rematch tonight

so naturally, here comes aj styles?

this is about par for the course for smackdown disjointedness, to be fair

the crowd try to do duelling chants for aj and chris, can't pull it off

sort your shit out, fresno

aj reminds us that y2aj was a thing long enough to make shirts

and aj's looking forward to taking the belt of chris or kevin at backlash, whichever

chris has taken over the face of america thing, and they love him for it for some reason

aj makes the list for not believeing in chris's chances

or he nearly does

jericho cocks the pen, cue kevin

who's still got the face of america entrance and gear, because why not

promises to give chris even worse shit than at mania or the festival of friendship #neverforget

and goes to aj like the fuck are you even doing here get out of my ring

aj shrugs, leaves the ring, runs up the ramp to beat the piss out of him

officials run in, end segment

later we have naomi/charlotte v natalya/carmella, but next, jinder/sami with the singhs lurking nearby but not going to do anything no sir

announce team let us know that, per the shane, aj is banned from ringside for the match tonight

but nLET'S GO

recap from talking smack, when baron beat him into a brief coma for daring to have an interview spot when he didn't

and enter the jinder, accompanied by the singhs and their tacky shirts

slideshow of the house of horrors fallout

in which tom phillips confirms that he does not know what 'abscond' means

bell rings, begin the wristlock party

jinder's got new gear, and now he has a scrotum flower as well as an asshole mandala

jinder has realised the secret technique where you can just not let go after a rainmaker, so he just does a bunch of them to sami in a row

sami's getting beaten to death, but you should know that

it's the opening three-quarters of a sami zayn match

has anyone ever tried just pushing sami over and pinning him without hitting him at all?

he may actually be a 90s JRPG boss

sami finally flywheels up, hits a crossbody

lines up another move, sunil gets up and distracts him, near-fall

really weird tornado ddt there

not even sure who was going for it

sami goes for a helluva kick, sunil pulls jinder out of the way (not a dq for some reason), sami lines up for a tope, samir grabs his legs for a distraction, jinder hits a full nelson slam for the pin

so yeah, sami has the attention span of a lab rat on experimental stimulants

but now, becky runs into the welcoming committee backstage

nattie tries to sell her on charlotte being evil and taking becky's title shots

becky's like hmm let me think about it

huh

not how i'd expect her to react

and they all just walk off

and fade

to the advert for shinsuke, and by extension backlash

or not, it was just shinsuke

pan out to dolph watching that video and bitching to some randomers about shinsuke and the managment

naturally, shane is right behind him throughout

dolph doesn't give a shit

promises to show us all what will happen to shinsuke by killing sin cara later

but now, aiden english gets a song about how great he is

i miss gotch

sad face

tye's entrance hits during the song

aiden is unimpressed

bell rings, aiden blindsides tye while he's still taking his shirt off

which is really either tye's own fault or the timekeeper's

*shrug*

it still doesn't help much, because when did aiden english win anything

and tye does a facebuster variation of the tye breaker for the pin

within like two minutes

sigh

aiden proceeds to have a freakout in the ring

all together now

YOOOOOOOOU

DID THIIIIIIIS

TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEE

and just cut away, sure, whatever

but now renee interviews chris backstage

aiden walks past crying, chris stops the interview to tell him to stop crying on smackdown because life is good and also if you don't you make the list

chris leaves so much of a pause that i'm beginning to think he's forgotten what happens

puts aiden on the list, he bursts out crying again, puts renee on the list just cos, walks off

because...babyface?

sure

moving on

let's spin a recap of the women's match last week

and now dasha has charlotte in the tv-and-curtains-limbo backstage

charlotte's like sure i'm tagging with naomi tonight but i'm still gonna fuck her up for the belt

carmella appears, followed by the rest of the welcoming committee

they beat on her and throw her into some crates, tamina shouts at her, james stands at the back like yeeeeeeeeeah, cut away

and now we have that match

naomi's entrance continues to be fucking awesome

now accessorising with a hooded coat with a fluorescent lining

huh, apparently we're sponsored by rocket league tonight

finally, one i can get behind

we go directly from that intro into natalya's

the whole committee comes out, because apparently this is all of their music

apparently charlotte's music hit during the break but she never turned up

so yeah, handicap match

bell rang and everything

carmella tries talking shit, so naomi kicks her legs in half

lands her kick rush combo, nattie tags in

does a really weird springboard drop on naomi

kind of backfires, because it ended with naomi sitting down, which is her power stance

so nattie follows up by smacking her face into the stairs

carmella tags in, has naomi in a headlock while shouting "YOU WANNA KICK ME?"

which seems tactically questionable

because as it turns out, she does indeed want to kick her

naomi and natalya take each other down, charlotte's music hits

hobbles up the ramp, gets ready to tag in

naomi gets the tag, charlotte opens by sprinting across the ring and punching carmella off the apron

goes for the figure four, broken by a briefly-returning carmella

takes it to nattie again, carmella runs in, gets kicked in the head, but provides the distraction for nattie to discus elbow charlotte

cut for ads, and carmella's got the upper hand on charlotte again

goes for the bronco buster, charlotte dodges so she crotches herself and then tags naomi in

naomi aggressively sits down at, and then on, carmella

nattie distracts the ref and ellsworth distracts naomi, carmella gets a rollup and a handful of tights for the pin

the rest of the committee immediately come in to beat on the good guys

and here comes a becky

runs into the ring, then stands there, caught in indecision

ooh, heel becky would be interesting

and she says she's in

and goes for a handshake

shakes hands with the girls, asks james for a hug, then throws him at the other three to join the light side of this brawl

which goes well until tamina punches her in the head

more beating ensues, the four of them stand over their fallen foes

so that run-in went well

dramatic video about how great the new day are

(spoiler: thery're p great)

including them riding a cg unicorn

but now, here's sin cara in a teal morphsuit

doesn't even get an entrance, because it's sin fucking cara

and here comes douche ziggler

to punish sin cara's abhorrent fashion choices

on the other hand, sin cara hits a lovely springboard crossbody like fuck you gran metalik

does the lucha arms, the crowd aren't particularly into it

so he's like fuck you fresno, throws dolph out of the ring and then suicide dives him

dolph manages to turn things around, because sin cara

crowd still aren't really into it

mostly chanting for shinsuke

and...sin cara does a single-leg deadlift powerbomb?

huh

strange eons

goes for a springboard moonsault, dolph gets the knees up, then a really lazy superkick for the pin

well, that match happened

but now, main event time

after more burlesque

still "coming soon"

and also before that, a bit for fresno state university and noam telling us to watch 205

and a law and order parody for the fashion police

in which tyler doesn't get typewriters

fandango enters with a dossier on all the crimes of the usos

tyler pins a backlash to the evidence board

they get called away for more fashion crimes

and scene

that was...deeply strange

and also way funnier than you'd think

but actually actually now, it's main event time

here comes chris and his fairy light scarf

talking smack will feature the welcoming committee, aj. chris, and kevin

so that'll go well

enter kevin, and the face on the floor still does him no favours

anamorphism ho!

oh for fuck's sake

before we can actually have this match, here's a slideshow of their payback match, sponsored by a brand of chicken that we don't know enzo's sexual opinions on

and some long-ass intros

(we love you gregg)

START THE FUCKING MATCH ALREADY

chris hogans at the crowd a bit, because we've agreed to let him get away with that

chris stamps on the legendary finger a bit, then smacks it on the steps

dude, you know he has nine others that all perform the same function, right?

i'd be narrating more of the action, but let's be honest, it's the same match as mania and payback

but hey, it's a good match

chris goes for a top rop axe handle, kevin counters by gut-punching him out of the air

(punching him in the gut, that is)

(he did not take him out of the air with his gut)

(he is not king kong bundy)

goes for a lionsault, doesn't connect because duh

but now gets him in the walls again

goes for the rope, let down by the injured finger, then goes like oh wait i have two and grabs it with his other hand

jericho counters a popup powerbomb into a spike piledriver, because it's apparently head trauma week

and straight into the walls again

much roaring later, kevin makes it to the rope

slides out, jericho tries to follow him, only to eat a superkick and then a ddt on the ramp

gets back into the ring, superkicks him again, still can't get a pin

kevin picks chris up by the ears, takes a moment to shout at him, nearly goes down to a rollup

and then popup powerbomb for the win

well, that title flip accomplished its purpose

namely, of making sure jericho is in as many ppvs as possible

he'll be back at raw in time for the next one

kevin leaves the ring with the belt as terrible medics run past him to check on chris

kevin is seemingly annoyed that they're not coroners, so runs back in to beat on him some more

and yell YOU WERE NEVER MY BEST FRIEND in his face

awwww

clearly lots of complex emotions bubbling under there

he walks off up the ramp with his belt, we get a really long shot of officials and medics carrying chris out

only for kevin to run back down, hit him again, stamp on the back of his neck, then put his head through a chair and slam it into the post

dude

that's a legit murder

and fade on chris going bleeeeeeeeeurgharrgahgblblb

as he does so well

and next, i'mma watch talking smack

but you're not

nerrrrrrrrrr

*backs out of the room, pointing at you with her tongue out*

#Wrestling #WWE #WWE Raw #wwe smackdown

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