#yk the normal thing to put in a wine glass

[ar-cadez]

Duckula enjoying some red Snapple (the best one)

[that-weeb-in-ur-closet]

It’s the voices anon, write how a normal day for any of the bsd characters (you choose) would start, but then it gets more and more bizarre and weird and they’re going crazy. Maybe with some crossovers too.

Also imma put a name for myself bc I CAN.

- 🚁💥 anon

That's basically just BSD in general, but yk what, why not ♡ thanks 🚁💥 anon !

I don't really understand the prompt but it's a good one, so

I'll start with...

Osamu D. ★★★☆★★★

As Dazai wakes up calmly in his futon, he looks around. Everything is in place. Everything is how he left it before he went to sleep. The empty bottle of wine from a year ago still on the floor. His work clothes hanging on the closet door. His bandages on his desk. Some guns randomly splayed across his room. And of course, the rope hanging from the ceiling.

It's completely normal.

So, what does he do? He gets up with a yawn, stretching out his arms and standing up. He takes off his shirt and starts unwrapping his bandages to put on new ones like he usually does, tossing the old ones in the trash as he wraps himself up.

Once he's done, he hears a knock on the window. He looks over with a "hm...?" To see a woman with a camera and microphone, screaming, "Sir, Sir!! Are you the one who keeps trying to kill himself and failing?" She yells, voice muffled through the glass.

He blinks. A few more times. Before a confused grin forms on his face as he walks over and opens the window. "This chick climbed up the building? I'm on the second floor..."

"Yeah, that's me! The infamous Osamu Dazai!"

He exclaims excitedly, grabbing one of the shirts that's lying on the floor to put it on. When he glances over the woman's shoulder, he sees a huge crowd of people bickering with cameras, notepads, etc. When I say huge, I mean at least a hundred.

He's absolutely stunned. How... Did this happen? No, what's happening in general?

"Sir—" "Dazai-!" "Will you," "Do you think—" "That boy is-"

The crowd mutters among themselves, writing things down while pointing the cameras at him. One person shouts louder than everyone, marching through the crowd.

"WHAT IS EVERYBODY DOING HERE?! LEAVE AT ONCE!!" As Dazai looks down, he sees Kunikida. He's extremely confused now. At first, he thought this was a joke, but after seeing Kunikida, he knew it wasn't.

After a minute of staring blankly, he closes the window and goes back inside, staring at his wall while thinking. "Is this because of the Port Mafia? No, she mentioned Suicide... Maybe it is?... Whatever."

He thinks to himself before he shakes his head, walking downstairs and to the office and looking at everybody. He sees Kunikida sitting at his desk, doing paperwork and immediately is even more confused. He looks out the window and the people are completely gone. Not a trace of them. Now he's slightly panicked.

"..... Good morning, Kunikida...." He mutters, not in his usual energetic and teasing tone, which makes Kunikida look up from his papers, raising a brow. "Good morning to you too, Dazai?" He says, going back to work.

Dazai just keeps blinking, standing in place. Which causes Atsushi to look over at him, tilting his head. "Are you okay, Mr. Dazai?"

Dazai pauses, seeing how everyone is being normal, just sighs and smiles. "Of course, I am! Why do you ask that~?"

"Well... Because you kinda have a rope around your neck–" Atsushi stops and sighs, seeing as that makes a lot of sense, since it's Dazai.

Dazai, on the other hand, stops smiling and feels his neck. There's a thick rope wrapped around it, wrapped pretty tight, but he doesn't feel any pressure on his neck whatsoever. He didn't put that rope on. "O-o-oh, I do, h-huh? Y-yeah, I guess I do..." He says, the panic clear in his tone. He didn't know what the fuck was going on anymore. He just woke up...

"Dazai, do you wanna go get some suicides with me?" Ranpo speaks up, leaning back in his chair with food in his hands.

"S-some... Some whats?" He asks, messing with the rope that's around his neck, eyes wide.

"No, Ranpo, you've had too many suicides! Don't trick Dazai into doing it with you!" Yosano pipes up, glaring at Ranpo.

"... Where am I?" Dazai asks, looking around. Everyone is quite clearly who they are. The Agency is the exact same. But Everything is weird. Why was there a crowd outside his window? Why was there a rope around his neck? Why was Ranpo talking about suicide?

He asks, looking around. Everyone looks at him like he's crazy, which he's starting to think he is....

A voice pulls him out of his thoughts, but he can't figure out where it's coming from. "Dazai... Dazai, wake up..."

"But... I am awake..."

"Dazai, open your eyes, come on..."

"My eyes are open...."

He thinks before a sudden pain in his cheek makes him jump out of what is happening. When he does, he's in a white room, lying in a bed. Nobody, but the nurses and doctors are there. There was no pain in his cheek. Or rope around his neck. Or crowd. Or Ranpo. Just doctors and nurses.

"Ah, you're awake. You ate some poisonous mushrooms and landed in the hospital. Please, don't be alarmed." The nurse speaks.

"Mushrooms... OH !! THE MUSHROOMS!! Another failed suicide attempt..."

"Don't be alarmed, huh? Well, the only thing that alarms me is your beauty, Belladonna~"

(This was my first time writing anything but smut for anime, so tell me how I did!! And if you want me to make this into a smut story lemme know! Thanks for reading!!!)

[variety-fangirl]

Hi love, i read your Jimmy keene stuff recently and really enjoyed it so i was wondering if you could write a jimmy x reader where he gets released after everything you know and the after math after being away for that long and him being grateful that the reader stayed with him through everything yk what i mean sorry if it’s vague but let your creativity do the trick

Grateful / Jimmy Keene x fem!reader

Summary: after being released, you and Jimmy take some alone time to reconnect after so long. He shows you just how grateful he is for you staying with him through everything.

Warning: 18+ NO MINORS SHOO not much, swearing, some intimate touching, vulnerable sad Jimmy, reader loving on and looking after Jimmy.

Author's note: thank you for requesting my love! Oh, this is such a cute idea, love it! 🥰 Grateful soft vulnerable men are my favourite 😍😍😭 thank you so much for reading and im glad you like my Jimmy stuff 😁😁💜 Thank you all for reading and enjoy! Liking, reblogging, and commenting really helps me out!

Word count: 1.8k

It had been thirteen months since Jimmy had been home with you, sleeping next to you, making love to you, or even being able to touch you. After thirteen agonising months of missing him dearly, you'd barely seen him, he'd refused. You'd seen him twice in the whole thirteen months. After seeing you sobbing and just breaking down at the sight of him, and him not being able to touch you to comfort you, he forbade you from returning to see him again. You hated it and regularly told him over the phone, especially if he didn't call you for a week at a time. You were constantly worried about him and sleep had not been your friend. You were sure you'd lost a lot of weight and looked awful from not being able to pull yourself together, you didn't care. You felt like you'd been robbed of thirteen months of time with Jimmy that you'd never get back.

You had been counting down the weeks until you could finally see him, you missed Jimmy more than anything. You had been preparing for his return, buying gifts and treats to make things easier and happier for when Jimmy finally came home. You want to ease him back into normal life after being away for so long. You can only imagine how difficult it will be for him, to adjust back to normalcy. You were going to be the one who picked him up from the jail but James offered to pick him up instead so you could prepare stuff at home for Jimmy. James texted you all throughout the day, letting you know what time pick-up was and when they would be arriving.

You obviously knew the first thing you wanted to do as soon as you saw him, was to hug and kiss him. But, you planned out what you wanted to do after. So, you made a list of relaxing things to do at home. You honestly went all out, James completed the lovely effort you had put in for his son's return and you promised that next week you would bring Jimmy by so his father could spend time with him also. Whilst James made his way to pick up Jimmy, you got everything ready. You got started on making dinner, Jimmy's favourite, lasagne. Along with a bottle of wine for yourself and Jimmy's favourite whiskey. You listened to music with a glass of wine as you got dinner ready, mostly to distract your ragging thoughts, preparing everything as needed.

It was about an hour's drive to the jail so you had time to get everything sorted. As soon as dinner was in the oven you headed upstairs to your shared bedroom. You went into Jimmy's closet and grabbed a pair of grey joggers, a black T-shirt, boxers and a pair of comfortable socks, you led them out on your bed. You then went back downstairs, with thirty minutes to spare and cleaned the kitchen and living room a little. You lit a candle on the table, put on some light relaxing music and just waited. That only took you a total of fifteen minutes, so for the remaining fifteen, you just scrolled aimlessly on your phone to keep your mind busy while you waited.

Finally, you heard the car pull up outside, and you felt tears brim your eyes. You made your way to the door, opened it and watched as they pulled into your driveway slowly. They both got out, Jimmy running towards you and instantly wrapping his arms around you as he picked you up. The tears instantly fell, small sobs escaping you as you held him as close as possible. Your hands gripped Jimmy with urgency, fearing that if you let him go, it would all prove to be a dream. James stood to the side of Jimmy, smiling at the pair of you with such happiness that you thought your heart would explode. You pulled away first, turning to look at James with a thankful smile, "Thank you for getting him, I appreciate it." you give James a big hug, having grown considerably closer to him over the last year whilst Jimmy had been away.

"Anytime kiddo, don't mention it. You know where I am, love you both!" You both return the statement of affection with a smile as James gives his son one last hug. You step inside, leaving the door open so the two can have a moment before Jimmy comes in. You'd watched over the last year how hard Jimmy's imprisonment had taken a toll on his father. The man had struggled just as much, if not more than you over Jimmy's absence. You had tried your absolute hardest to be there for him every step of the way whilst being strong for yourself. You watch as Jimmy steps into the doorway backwards, waving and saying goodbye to his father before closing the door and turning to face you.

"Okay, so I have some things planned. But no pressure my love. I figured the first thing you would want to do is to take a long hot shower and change into clean warm clothes. I was thinking whilst you did that I could finish preparing dinner for us, maybe watch a movie and relax? We don't have to talk unless you want to, you can just go straight to bed or whatever. No pressure with anything okay?" you smile gently, not wanting to pressure him or stress him out in any way, you wanted Jimmy to decide for the afternoon. You noticed the look of realisation on his face, the fact that he could do whatever he wanted, he was free to do as he pleased again. You couldn't imagine how horrible it must have been in there, unable to have freedom.

"A shower and food sounds amazing baby, thank you." You walk over, leaning up to kiss your boyfriend for the first time in 13 months. It felt like magic, like the missing piece of you had returned. Jimmy moans, pulling you closer by your ass until your front was placed flush against his. You wrap your arms around his neck, tugging gently at the hair. Jimmy groans happily, pulling away but not before placing one last kiss on your lips. You reach down, slap his ass and laugh, "Okay, go shower! Dinner will be done in a bit." You turn with a smile and head over to the kitchen while Jimmy makes his way upstairs.

You finished plating and setting the table ready for Jimmy to return, setting some mood lighting and candles for a sensual but relaxing vibe. You hear the soft patters of his feet coming down the wooden stairs and across the floor to the living room and kitchen. You feel soft arms wrap slowly around your waist and a pair of lips pressing gently to your neck. You turn your head to the side, relishing in the feel of Jimmy's touch once again after so long. You hum happily, "Hi," rubbing up and down his arm lovingly, appreciating the affection. "Hi. This looks amazing baby, thank you. But, you didn't have to go through all this trouble." You turn around in Jimmy's arms, wrapping yours around his neck.

You shrug with a smile, "I just wanted to make tonight special for you, some form of normalcy for when you returned because I love you." You place a gentle kiss upon his lips, adding a few more just for safe measure before pulling away. "C'mon, let's eat whilst it's warm." you usher to the table, taking a seat opposite Jimmy so you can talk more easily.

Once you both finish eating, you clear away the table and do the dishes, cleaning up any mess. It didn't take you very long, especially with Jimmy drying them and putting them away. You look at the clock, it's now 9pm, "You wanna watch a movie or head to bed? I'm happy either way." Today had been long and tiring, emotionally draining for you both. You honestly wouldn't mind heading to bed if Jimmy said yes. He nods, his eyes tired, "Yeah bed sounds good." You nod in return, grabbing his hand and leading him to your bedroom. You made sure the candles were blown out and the lights turned off before making your way upstairs.

You both get changed into comfortable pyjamas, minus a shirt for Jimmy and brush your teeth. You had changed the bedding this morning, fresh and smelling like your favourite scent. You both get in, cuddling into Jimmy's chest, leaning on top and facing him. You rest your chin on his chest, near his neck and stroking his chest gently. You play with the strands of hair you can reach and place gentle kisses on any skin of Jimmy's nearest to you. You feel Jimmy's cock harden against your leg, his breathing picking up just slightly. It was understandable with how long he'd been gone, despite the fact he was exhausted.

You move to straddle his waist, grinding your hips slowly against his, your pussy right on top of his cock. You gasp softly, leaning down to kiss his jaw and neck with as much gentle passion as possible. You don't want to rush or pressure him into thinking he has to do anything tonight if he doesn't want to. You push your head up to look down at him, "I want you but only you if you want to." You whisper, stroking the side of his face gently. You notice a look flash across Jimmy's face, making you pause any movement. "God, of course I want you, how could I not? Look at, your fucking perfect." He pauses, taking a deep breath as his eyes begin to fill with tears.

He huffs, "I don't fucking deserve you. Why would you stay by my side this whole time? You could have left me, left all this and I wouldn't have blamed you for a second. I thought you were going to because you are too fucking good for me, baby." He whispers as he grips the back of your neck, a look of pure pain and worry in his eyes. As if he didn't believe he was worthy enough of your love or you staying by his side. But that only made you angry and annoyed. You grip both sides of his face, "why would you say that?! Do you think that I could ever possibly leave you? I love you more than anything, you are everything to me! Not even for a second did I consider leaving you, you're stuck with me okay?" you huff, tears now filling your eyes.

Jimmy grabs the back of your neck and pulls your lips down to his, catching you by surprise. "God I love you." Jimmy rolls you both over so you're on your back and kisses you once more. You moan loudly and grind upwards against him, letting him know you want him more than anything.

[thatsdemko]

ik what ur probably gonna say buttt can you do a Brad Marchand smut with him as a Dom and rough, degrading with some praise...and maybe smith abt him getting Into a fight during a game so he's yk pissed...hehe thx!

a/n: please count yourself lucky that I’m gonna write this ONE thing about the rat sorry I mean brad. this is going in blurb style but it’s much longer than a blurb. (if you know me you know I have a hard time making things short lol)

pairing: brad marchand x fem!reader

warnings: minor spelling & grammatical errors + nsfw + established relationship + praise kink (ish)+ mentions of nudity + not intended for minors + my hatred for him leaks into this (sorry not sorry)

《 the following content is not intended for minors. 》

why couldn’t he ever just play a normal game of hockey? you thought to yourself. you were watching the game from the comfort of you and brads shared home. he always had to do something to get himself in trouble, fined, or suspended. he was always the problem during games and it pissed you off.

you sat there, hand clutching the small remote trying to get yourself to turn off the television, but you couldn’t pull away from the fight. there was brad in the middle of it, as usual. you watched him take two hands on his stick to shove a maple leafs player down to the ground, another leafs player came from behind him putting him in a choke hold and other bruins players came to defend your husband.

the gloves were flying, helmets were thrown off, refs were prying their way in, and the whistles were just background noise to the cheering and booing. every bone in your body itched to turn away, but you couldn’t. you had to see what was going to happen, and you had to know what punishment your stupid husband was going to get.

once the fire of the fight died out, and the refs had gathered the players to take a time out, the main ref took to center ice where bruins fans already began booing, “number sixty-three, cross checking two minute penalty,” he rambled on the list of other players who were taking one for their respective teams as well.

the camera panned over to brad plopping down on the bench in the penalty box, shaking his head you could make out the words he was yelling, “this is bullshit!” the ref just shook his head and the game continued with a 4-on-4 for 2 minutes.

finally being able to pull away now that the fight was over, you made your way into the kitchen to pour yourself a heavy glass of wine. the fight wasn’t even that brutal, but you needed something strong to ease your frustration.

you chugged what was in your glass before pouring yourself a second one to make your way back to the game. just as you sat down brad was getting out of the penalty box and soon this game would be over. there was only six minutes left in the third period and the bruins were winning 2-1. even though there was only six minutes remaining you didn’t know how much more of it you could take. you were still so fed up with his behavior that you found yourself grabbing the remote and turning off the television. you’d figure if the game was a win or loss, brad would tell you. you just couldn’t watch it any longer.

you got up off the couch deciding to get just get ready for bed. it was either sit there and stew in hate, or get up and occupy your mind with something else.

going into your bathroom, flicking on the lights you found the mess of his things laid out all on the counter. he couldn’t seem to care to put any of it away while he was rushing to leave. he had time to have a pregame make out session with you, but the little things were where he drew the line.

sighing to yourself, you began to put his things on his side of the sink and do your tasks. something about doing your skincare and brushing your teeth, seemed to ease your mind and help you forget the game. but it wasn’t until you heard the sound of the front door open that reminded you of why you were in the bathroom in the first place.

“home!” you heard him announce from the living room, but you stayed put in the bathroom. brad noticed the almost empty bottle of wine and the lipgloss stain around the rim. taking off his coat, he went to go find you.

you were to occupied to even notice that he was standing in the doorframe of the bathroom watching you brush your teeth aggressively. he could tell you were upset, usually most games you were right there at the front door to celebrate, but just like you, he wasn’t so happy with how the game went.

“so the silent treatment it is, huh?” his body rested against the frame of the doorway. looking over at him you nearly dropped your toothbrush in the sink. his shirt collar exposed the bruises on his chest, and he had a minor scratch on his face.

“well I normally don’t go around cross checking people for no reason.” you snapped, wiping your face with a towel and setting your toothbrush back in its respective place, you brushed past brad out of the bathroom feeling his hand smack your ass gently.

“you clearly didn’t see what else happened, y/n. it’s a brutal fucking game, and you don’t win by playing soft.” he followed you into the bedroom, both of you now getting undressed and ready for bed.

sure, hockey was rough. but it gave no excuse for his past or current actions in the game. you glared over at him for second watching him unbutton his dress shirt, “brad, that doesn’t mean you get to go around and hurt people for the sake of the game! your actions hurt people.”

he scoffed at your words throwing his dress shirt in the overflowing laundry hamper, “I’ve never hurt anyone.”

you laughed dryly at his comment, “yeah tell that to all the fines and suspension you’ve gotten over the past two years.”

you went to exit the bedroom and grab your water from the living room when you felt his cold hand grab your wrist and pull you into his bare chest, “don’t say shit like that about me again.” he whispered into your ear, pushing you from him, your back hit the wall and you let out a small groan.

“or what, brad? what are you gonna do?” you smirked, you knew he wouldn’t actually hurt you, but whatever idea he had in mind you were in for it. you craved whatever it was that got him going.

“make you regret that.” his lips smashed against yours, and his hands made his way to your ass pulling you closer to him so you could feel how hard he was. he loved when you talked back, even if you truly were mad, it turned him on.

“then make me.” you whispered against his skin undoing his belt and throwing it on the ground along side his other clothes. he quickly removed your shirt, picking you up, he tossed you on the bed before getting on top of you and you unzipped his dress pants.

“oh I’m gonna.” he muttered, his teeth nibbled on your neck feeling his hands in your pajama shorts his fingers found a way inside of you causing a moan to escape your mouth. you were practically dripping wet from the moment his hands touched you.

“feel good?” he asked, his fingers tugged on your panties, pulling them down. he inserted himself inside of you, sending a wave of shock down your spin causing your back to arch with pleasure. your nails dug into his skin feeling his body grind against yours. his pace picked up and the bed began to shake and rattle against the wall. it felt so good.

“you feel so good,” you nibbled into the skin on his shoulder blade trying to suppress down your screams. brad didn’t hold back on his grunting, he was going to come at any moment, and it was going to be inside of you.

finally feeling the warmth inside of you enter, brad collapsed beside your body that felt almost lifeless. you looked over at his sweaty body, panting, wanting more. his eyes met yours and he pulled your body beside his, “don’t ever say shit like that to me again, pretty girl.”

[puppeteered-poetry]

"I'd spoil you rotten if I had the chance."

That with Actor Mark x Reader? If you're not comfortable with x readers, maybe Darkstache instead?

X readers tend to be pretty case by case as I'm friends with a lot of introjects, yk? In this case though, it is a-okay <3

    When Mark gave you a call today, you had honestly expected another wild adventure. It seemed to be the normal fare for his invitations, at some point his opulent manor would fade away into the next scene he chose, a Heist, or a date, or a spaceship.

    But this time was different. He was waiting in the foyer for you, dressed in his red tuxedo. He normally reserved this for very special occasions. It immediately made you wonder what was going on.

    “Ah, Y/N! Why don’t you come sit down with me?” His smile was effortlessly charming, but you knew him well enough to see he was incredibly nervous. He was discreetly wiping his palms dry on his pants.

    You followed him into the dining room, where two places were set, lit by a centerpiece of candles, half melted and faintly coated in dust. He pulled out your chair for you, and you sat down, waiting for him to explain.

    “I’ve been thinking about this for a while, my darling…” He hummed, pouring you a glass of wine. “You remember our date, right?”

     You can’t help but laugh, remembering all the strange events that managed to happen. You’re pretty certain a part of you is still stuck behind with Darkiplier. When you nod, he lights up, sitting at his own place.

     “Oh, good, good… I remember I was a little… short with you, on set.” He cleared his throat, “But let me assure you, it wasn’t personal!”

    You listen to him hem and haw about his point, eating your spaghetti as he peers down at an index card he thought he was hiding under the table. You wonder if he cooked the dinner himself, or if the Chef was somewhere around, still.

    “M-my point is… I… I would do anything for you, Y/N. I would spoil you rotten, if I could… If you would take me, maybe… We could be more than just adventure buddies?” Mark’s heart was pounding in his ears, which surprised him. He was almost certain that thing stopped working years ago.

    You can’t help yourself. He’s put so much effort in, the candlelit dinner, the tux, his poorly concealed notecard… You can’t help but love him.

    You nod, and his grin is like the sunshine, his fangs gleaming. 

    “Oh, Y/N, you’ve made me the happiest I’ve felt in years…” He tries to lean over the table to kiss you, but has to settle for getting up, and planting a kiss on your cheek.

[swtki]

HP Boys: Surprise Pregnancy Head Cannons

Summary: The HP boys and their reaction to their s/o (afab) being pregnant when its not planned.

A/N: This takes place post Hogwarts so all characters are 18+, though no real smut happens in this so its not an 18+ fic.

WARNINGS: UNPLANNED PREGNANCY, MENTIONS OF PRO CHOICE OPINIONS, MENTIONS OF SEX IN LITE TERMS, SWEARING, FLUFF, MENTIONS OF ALCOHOL, ALSO THIS IS SUPER LONG SORRY LOL

Draco

So everything is going great for the happy couple, you two just moved into a flat together and are working normal jobs, drinking wine like adults.

And sure, Draco knows he wants to marry you, but he knows you’re not ready to settle down like that so he just plans and dreams.

Due to poor choices, when you’re late by two weeks, you know what it probably is.

Draco doesn’t even notice that you ran out to the store and came back and hid in the bathroom for 10 minutes. CEO of minding his own business ig

You just kinda...walk up to him and hand him all 3 tests while your eyes fill with tears because what if he demands you get an abortion?

Or what if he fucks off to god knows where?

But instead he just looks at you with the most un-draco like smile. Like his face was soft and it looked like he could cry any moment.

“Oh my god,” He says, putting his hand on your belly, “I can be ready for this, but if you aren’t then we can you know...”

“No, I want it” then both of you rejoice bc yay baby!

Cut to 6 months later when your feet hurt so bad you have to lay down and watch while Draco fails to put a crib together.

He eventually gets it done tho.

And when the time comes, he’s built and arranged everything for your bundle of joy.

Harry

So you guys are probably already married, but with everything at the ministry going on, it makes Harry less than a family man.

You both agree that it’s probably better to wait so you can be home and yk...raise it.

Well smart man Harry forgets that to not have a kid you need to use protection.

So of course when your period is late you don’t think about it, until its four weeks late.

That night, you and Harry are laying in bed, and thats when you tell him.

“Harry..I’m late.”

“Late for what?” headass.

You: 😳😐

Him: 👁👁😲😲

He’s hesitant to say anything, because he knows its ultimitley up to you what happens with it until its out.

“I think I want to keep it...you know it wont remember much for the first year and a half so if things are stressful it will be okay and-“

“Love...Its going to be perfect”

Mf built the crib in like 45 minutes I swear.

And of course he forced you to keep up with your vitamins, pre natal care, and appointments.

Swear tho you’re about to kill him because cofFeE

But the way he holds your baby 🥺 its his most valued thing ever now.

Ron

Ron is iffy on the kid thing sometimes.

He does want them, but only later when you guys have lived and travled.

So no, you two haven’t planned nor is it even in the picture when your wedding roles around.

It’s in the early days of the marriage when you see his family at the burrow on the way back from the honeymoon.

And of course Molly knows

Because Weasleys are hyperfertile I swear.

She takes you into the kitchen and puts her hands on your arms, shes got that big Mrs.Weasley smile on too.

“I knew it!” She says and pulls you in for a hug, “How far dear??”

You’re just standing there like🧍🏻

“I can see it by the way you glow! Oh my you and my Ron must be so happy!” This woman doesn’t notice that you’re confused.

“Wait what? Mrs. Weasley what are you-?” Then you count the days, “Oh. Well I guess I just found out for myself”

Her face falls slightly, but then she tells you can make you a potion that will tell you if you are or not, stan.

The stupid potion turns green when you spit into it, so everything is confirmed.

That night, you and Ron are getting ready for bed in the guest room and you decide to tell him.

“Ron, sweetie. We need to talk.” He looks like he’s gonna start crying but sits next to you on the bed.

“Y/N...I know its scary but please, we just got married I don’t want to divorce quite just yet 🥺🥺”

“Ron I-“ you start smiling, “I’m pregnant you dufus.”

He just freezes, for a while. Not saying anything, he just looks at the wall with his mouth ajar.

So you get up and go to Ginny.

“Gin, I broke him.”

“Ew, I don’t want to know about how you and him”

“No, I told him that I’m pregnant.”

“Oh, yeah that would do it. Just I don’t know... Give him a minute?”

You give him several, getting a glass of water then heading back up to the room.

Ginny was right, he needed a minute.

“I don’t...I wasn’t...you were.?”

“You don’t have to stay, but I think we can do it. Plus, you would disapoint your mom if you left so...”

“Okay...we’ll do it. I’ll be the best damn Father you have ever seen.” He says, talking to your womb.

Well...he’s a father I’ll give him that.

Pro of having a Weasley baby: free crib thats already put together.

Even if it looks like a death trap.

“We’ll put some blankets over it don’t worry”

You know how some Dads hold their parters hand during the delivery? Yeah he got sick and was moral support from the outside.

To be fair, you weren’t screaming in pleasure by any means.

Scary. But beautiful.

He shows the kid to everyone, he might be more in love with the baby than he is with you.

Ron see’s the appeal of having kids now.

Neville

Moving in with your boyfriend is always fun, right up until you guys go at it so much you forget protection more than once.

You think about it, then move on with your day.

Until the doctor calls, then “oh fuck”

Romance Neville bf

“Why aren’t you having any wine? I thought it was your favorite?”

“I don’t think fetal alcohol syndrome is my favorite.” BRO HE SPAT

But he looks up with tears in his eyes, and runs over to you to grasp you in a hug.

“Oh my god! You’re pregnant! Oh my - We’re gonna be parents!! Oh my god we’re gonna be parents oh-“ Que you petting his hair till he’s calm again.

Lets be honest, this man probably swapped the herbology books for the parenting guides.

“Well I mean I’m just wondering if we should go with this color or this one”

“Nev, it doesn’t matter. Our baby will not care.”

“I read in my book that Infants actually can recognize mood in-“

He won’t let you do anything during your pregnancy.

Gotta love a man who cries because he loves you so much and you’re having his kid.

“I never had a father, what if I do it wrong? What if the baby hates me and runs away at seven?”

“We’ve got quite a lot of time before then.”

He was there during delivery, letting you crush his hand like a champ.

You can’t help but cry when you see him sleeping on the floor next to the crib, its so sweet.

Fred

You two most likely already had two kids, so you decided to wait a bit so your hands weren’t quite full.

Well...your body decided not to wait.

A test provides the two lines, another wild child.

The two toddlers already run around like thing one and thing two, only with red hair.

I think Fred would gladly make the family dinner, and wear an apron. He’d own it, as he should.

But mf gotta not drop the salad bowl when you tell him of the fetus inside you.

“Fred we are going to have a bee-ay-bee-why.”

Your five year old has just begun to spell 😐

He’s happy tho.

Like over the fuckin moon.

He buys the two kids big brother/sister shirts too 🥺🥺

He knows the drill pretty well, so he isn’t too worried about the future.

But its funny that he still freaks out about the crib and feeding chair since he gave it away, you know because you guys werent having another kid.

He packed a hospital bag and kept it in the trunk, counting down the days.

Hours of delivery (He just sat back and held your hand) only to end up with a room full of 7 Weasley family members.

Fred always said that 3 was his lucky number :)

George

You guys were taking it slow, no marriage until you both felt it was time. And certainly no children before that.

Well you know...things changed when the test was positive.

You slid it over on the table, tears pooling in your eyes. He was stunned and quiet, which made you burst out sobbing because you knew that neither of you planned on having a baby.

But to your surprise he starts to smile.

“I want whatever you want, I’m staying by your side no matter what.”

“I mean...would it really be so bad? A house, a kid, a dog?” He holds your hand as you think aloud.

You both give it a week to think it over and the virdict is to keep it.

Thats when he decides he has to marry you, asap because he loves you and will never let you go especially now.

He loves to gush about the carrier of his child, to him you are a godess.

He’s the Dad with a predestination complex.

“Y/N, I just see him being a star quiditch player”

“George, we don’t know if it’s a him.”

He rolls his eyes “Okay then I can see her being a star-“

He made Hermione take you out for a movie date so he could rearrange your bedroom, since you only had a single bedroom flat.

You come back to a new set up including a cot.

Damn pregnancy hormones make brain go 🥺😭😭

He freaks when your water breaks lol

ceo of driving like a maniac to the hospital.

He can’t hold your hand, he’s pacing back and forth, sweating and maybe crying though he’ll never admit to it.

You get the joy of watching him cuddle the baby while refusing to give your child to you.

“George I’d like to hold-“

“No, you need your sleep honey, don’t worry”

Hogging the child.

Cedric

Its no secret that Cedric wants a baby someday.

And he makes it clear your wedding will be spectacular too.

However, finding out you’re pregnant the week of your dream wedding was a shock.

A shock that made you bang your head into the wall because how could you be so stupid?? We had a plan??

So you decide to wait until after the wedding, that way it wont add onto the stress (happy stress) of the wedding.

Cedric keeps trying to fill your glass at the reception, to which you kindly refuse saying you want to remember the night entirely.

Yeah he’s like 🤨 mhm okay.

You can only pick at the dinner because ew salmon doesn’t sound like an option if you want to keep the contents of your stomach.

As everyone waves goodbye to the car, and you both set off into married life, he leans over.

“I may be out of my mind, but are you...?”

“Pregnant.” His face lights up, pulling you into a hug.

Finally, your car pulls up to a small cottage with lush garden scapes all around, putting a hand out, he walks you both from the car to the door.

“Ced, where are we?”

“Home.”

Somehow it was perfect with Cedric, even when it was rushed.

He loved talking to your womb, even if it was weird that he was talking about the babies future brothers and sisters.

“Cedric, slow down. We haven’t even had this one yet”

Basically he is father of the year before he’s a full father.

He’s there while you deliver, holding your hand and telling you how great you’re doing.

He doesn’t even complain when you insult him <3.

He updates you on everything.

If his eyes aren’t on that child, he’s either asleep or dead.

I think Cedric was meant to be a family man, because he loves everything about being one.

Taglist: @truly-insatiable @amourtentiaa @imdoingathingmom @annasdani @anchoeritic @mullthingsoverinthehotwater @cedricsyellowscarf @faeinorbit

[meyhew]

I've been buying 90% of my clothes in second hand street markets for my entire life (we're talking 50c, 1€-3€ max if anything is above that it's already considered expensive lol) so I understand that like my perspective is very biased and that workers still need to get paid and stuff but like, already when I'm shopping in normal stores a 30€ sweatshirt feels so unnecessarily expensive, like a plain piece of jersey with a logo on it? and i paid around 40€ for a louis hoodie last year cause I had a sudden higher income of money for a bit and I decided to treat myself, but now everyone's merch it's like At Least 60€, if you're lucky you get an ugly 30€ t-shirt and like howwwww it's just so absurd to me to wrap my mind around the idea that in order for artists to release merch drops every so often with so many different pieces at such high prices, and for them to sold out every single time (although I guess this could be a publicity strategy as well idk to say they're sold out when they're really not) it means that they can count on A Lot of people buying this stuff regularly so there's people just spending hundreds of euros /whatever often enough for it to be worth it for them and like how why

like im not blaming the consumers, cause as a fan I'm also super gullible and fall very easily into the trap of yk wanting merch, "supporting" the artist, having a nice fan experience

and i partially get that the artists also "have" to do this (although I think it's only really a necessity for smaller artists who actually need it to support themselves and their carrier) but those prices just. don't sit right with me

ok im so sorry i had a glass of wine and that's the result ffs sorry for the rant nobody asked for. don't have to post this or reply ofc

agreed. i know merch across the board is ridiculously expensive now and it isn't just a problem with a few artists but i also believe it is heinous to charge that much for plain and boring products. creative graphics still wouldn't justify t-shirts for near $50 but at least it would be something—something to say "hey we're actually putting some thought & effort into this product and it isn't just a cash grab." i know, too, that it isn't the artists setting prices for individual products and that it all trickles down from the companies but again i also believe that artists have the power to negotiate those prices, especially when they're mainstream megastars—they just have to be willing to lose out on some of the profit, which most of them aren't. and it's not even like things need to be that expensive bc workers need to be paid; factory workers are NOT being paid enough to justify a boring sweater costing $90. at best they're being paid minimum wage, and we know that a lot of companies don't compensate their workers at all. i think artists dropping exorbitantly overpriced merch several times a year should be a punishable by law and that includes the ones i'm a fan of