#yet he couldnt catch a single fish?

[youngdutchishot]

He sounds so bummed out, and then deadass Dutch catches a fish just after 😭

[i-cant-sing]

IMAGINE THE KAMO CLAN WANTS AN ALLIANCE WITH THE ZENIN

so they offer that noritoshi (who is secretly in love with teen!fushiguro reader) marry her, the zenin and the kamo have made this type of alliance for years, it is totally normal for them

but definitely the kamo did not wait for naoya to come to his house shouting that no kamo spawn is going to sully his sweet daughter---- NIECE

when the others hear the news, toji, gojo, nanami, megumi, mai and maki arrive, ALSO SUKUNA WHO TOOK POSSESSION OF YUJI'S BODY

poor noritoshi

AHahaha yesss, I mean the elders just wanted to form an alliance, and neither clan really knew just how strong Fushiguro reader was as a toddler, so it was right to arrange a marriage for you.

As a child, Noritoshi didnt really care much for you, especially since he had battles of his own- being born to a mistress, being the heir of the clan because the head wife couldnt bear sons so, he has to deal with that.

But youre adorable and you grow on anyone, even the Zenin clan, so when toddler Fushiguro reader meets 9 year old Noritoshi, the latter only thinks of you as a spoiled brat at first. And why wouldnt he? Youre running around barefoot in the garden, dressed in sparkly pink hello kitty pjs with servants chasing after you, with Naoya screaming from the shed that he'll lock you up if he catches you grabbing his million dollar koi fish.

Noritoshi's disgust is quite understandable when you come upto him, hair disheveled, face sweaty, and you stick your muddy hand to his face.

"Hi! Im Y/n Fushiguro!" "ZENIN! Y/N ZENIN!" Naoya yells before dragging you away for training (Naoya didnt want you to meet your future husband).

As time goes on, Noritoshi would be sent to the Zenin estate on different errands (by this point, the Kamo clan has heard rumors of your powers and now want Noritoshi to go and woo you, which is a huge task since Noritoshi isnt someone who is able to express emotions, much less romantic ones). But even though he might not be able to express his emotions, doesnt mean his heart hasnt turned soft for you. Youre pollar opposite to him, loud, energetic, carefree- and yet Noritoshi cant help but feel that you... sort of complete him. Youre everything hes not and he likes that. Like 2 puzzle pieces that fit together, he completes you too. Hes quiet, calm, realistic- he brings peace to you, especially when youre mind gets overstimulated by- well, you.

How many times has it been that Noritoshi has stopped your panic attacks when you realised that your father Toji, wasnt coming back? How many times has Noristoshi had to pull you into his robes when your cursed energy started to lose control, risking himself just to calm you down and help you control it as his soft monotonous voice guided you through it?

And how many times has it been that Noritoshi would have his terrible day turned around with just you calling him "Nori!"? Or the times he'd be questioning his worth in the clan and all he needed was you to lean your head against his shoulder to feel like a million bucks? Noritoshi would be the type of man who people would think doesnt really care about love and marriage, when in reality, he just spent the entire night listening to you yap about your day, about Hello Kitty, about uncle Naoya, pausing in between to say "hmm, okay its getting late, we should sleep" only to suddenly remember a new topic to ramble on about. And youd think Noritoshi wanst listenting to you with the way hes staring at your face in awe, but really- he remembers every single word. You could quiz him. Its funny listening to man like him talk about Hello Kitty.

When the time comes for you two to actually get married, Naoya throws a fit, and surprisingly, the Zenin clan also doesnt want to marry you off to Kamo clan (or anyone). People opposing the marriage from your side would be the Zenin clan, the twins (who start telling you all the reasons why marriage is a trap and youd be dead in 2 days.), Gojo (he just chuckles and tells you not to worry because he wont let you be forced into marriage), Nanami (my man wholeheartedly believes youre being a victim of child marriage, BUT NOT ON HIS WATCH! GONNA KILL ANYONE WHO EVEN THINKS OF U LIKE THAT- just sit in his condo and eat the sandwhich he made for you. And dont argue.), Megumi (who doenst get why he wasnt ever informed that you, his baby sister, was in an arranged marriage, and why the hell didnt Noritoshi try to get his blessings/permission considering THAT HES YOUR CLOSEST FAMILY MEMBER??? Also, no- youre not marrying Kamo) and then... theres Sukuna (if you thought Naoya threw a fit, youre in for A WORLD OF TANTRUMS AS SUKUNA SCREAMS AND MOST LIKELY KILLS WHOEVER IS IN A MILE VICINITY, just to let off some steam and calm down before he talks to you and REMINDS YOU THAT YOU PROMISED TO MARRY HIM! HAVE YOU BEEN PROPOSING TO EVERY GUY YOU MET?)

People supporting this union would be all from Noritishi's side, including- the Kamo clan, Choso Kamo (cause ofc, youre just a precious baby like Yuji, and with you being part of the clan means he can protect u better), and surprise surprise Kenjaku (because youd be strong addition to the clan and then you and Nori will have babies with SUPER STRONG CURSED ENERGY AND HE'LL ACCOMPLISH HIS PLAN FOR WORLD DOMINATION).

Anyways, its a sticky situation and it all comes down to you really. Do you want to marry Noritoshi or not?

[sapphire-writes]

Okay, since you're invested and Im too lazy to study for my Theory presentation tomorrow (but somehow awake enough to do this- God gives his hardest battles to his stronger soldiers) let's go! I also realised after writing this whole thing that it's too long to be an ask but i couldnt copy it as a post and.. ive come too far for anything else! ch.3

“Found him,” Aemond said.  Aegon trails behind him, looking disheveled.  “Where was he?” Baela asks.  Aemond glances around the room.  “Y/N here?” 

MY BABY!!!! he knows it's gonna devastate her to be yet again faced with aegon's complete disregard and shitting all over their relationship and still he's being so careful and tactful and thoughtful!

His tongue pokes at his cheek, as he watches you. His sapphire eye catches the light from the kitchen, sending geometric shapes on the wall.

this was such a good line tho! like, you can imagine the little light shapes around the room moving around whenever he tilts his head or turns his head. such a good visual! (the V on the sweatpants as well but for now im keeping it classy)

“She’s single, I’m single,” he says, no growls, at you, “it's not a big fucking deal.”

imagine having to defend to your crush why you fake shagged sb and having to argue that you're not dating anyone so you're allowed to have ALL the fun!! Yay such joy!!

also btw!! why lie in the first place? just to spite her? maybe......... to see how she would react?.... i mean... there's a saying in my native language : "you fish with empty nets hoping to get full ones" dude was baiting her? wishfully baiting her? crossing his fingers baiting her? and it fucking worked too? what a mad lad

“Fuck, Aemond,” you want to keep yelling at him. You want a reaction from him, some remorse, something besides that cold look, “you really are heartless.”

Aemond turns his head to you, purple and sapphire eye aglow with anger. He pushes off the counter, striding towards you. 

“Go to bed, Y/N,” he says in a voice dripping with disdain, “you’re not my friend, you’re not my girlfriend. Stop acting like one.”

“I’m not staying.” A flicker of confusion dances across his sharp features.  “Why?” [...] Aemond stays eerily still. His eye searches your face, taking in the look of acceptance that follows the words you speak. 

“So after the party, you won’t have to deal with me anymore,” you tell him, the bitterness evident in your voice. 

see previous gif

Aemond’s eyes light up as you fail to answer, the beginning of a smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth.  [...] There is a look in Aemond’s eye, reminiscent of a rabid dog.

no comment... i just love those lines... pay no attention to me

I have to wonder... how many times in the past had Aemond fantasized about waking up, going to the kitchen to have his morning coffee and toast and whatever and then her showing up, all warm and lazy from her sleep. how many times did he do the do thinking about lifting her on that very counter and fucking her just like he did irl? because you know since those mornings have been established as a sort of "them" time, you know he latched onto that and used it as jerking off material.. also those morning showers? i bet you my left lung he did. (please dear author.. what Does he think about while getting himself off?) also you have to love how open and responsive and vocal he is! all the love! all the kisses!!!

He fucking ripped your stockings holy shit. 

you know he'd been thinking of doing that for a looong ass while

Aemond blinks to look up at you, drinking in the hedonistic expression on your face. 

i love it when dreams come true. very heartwarming ya know....

“You gonna cum for me?” he asks, his voice rough as gravel.

God, you want to smack that stupid self-indulgent look off his face.

if only she realized how much he risked -like emotionally- by kissing her and making that first move...

now some ch. 1 because i MUST

Aemond nods, flagging down the bartender.  “Yeah 'cause you’re acting like an idiot.” [...] “No you’re an idiot,” he faces you, a sick smile on his face. He often gets that wild look in his eye when you start arguing. 

it's the attention.. he's a lovesick fool. pay him no mind

“You’re a very smart girl,” he says leaning closer, “but you’re not acting like one.” “You don’t get it,” you tell him[...] Aemond chuckles [...] “I live with you fuckers,” he says, taking a sip from his drink, “I know everything that goes on, princess.” [...] “Don’t you think you deserve better?” [...] “You’re not my friend Aemond,” you snap, “you’ve made that quite clear the past couple of years. So stop acting like one.” His eyes bore into yours. [...] He doesn’t say anything, he only hums deep within the back of his throat before tearing his gaze from you. 

and one last line from ch, 4

Aemond’s silk shirt is open at the top, revealing his chest. He wears a different chain tonight, nothing hanging from it. You swallow hard.

let the chain be a main character! it has all the potential, we want her, we love her, she is stunning, amazing, showstopping...

IM LIVING FOR THIS COMMENTARY FRIEND 🫶🏻

As for lying about Rhaena: yeah he lied, knowing it would start a fight, he was totally baiting her. He just went along with it because she was like "seriously?? you fucked Rhaena??"

You've hit the nail on the HEAD! As for what he thinks of when he ya know 💦 😏 ofc he's thinking about the reader, those moments in the kitchen, the moments when they argue just grabbing the back of her neck and kissing her, breaking all his rules and going for it.

and then he finally does 🥹

[alicee1]

Finally back

Revived! Wilbur x Reader

Warnings: talk of death, grieving, character death (Wilbur), reunion

Word count: 1.7K

Synopsis: After Wilbur got revived by Dream he first rushes off to find you, right in the place where you had spent the night before L’manburg got blown up together with you. Angst followed by fluff/comfort

Request:

what if revived wilbur returning to a (he/him or they/them) reader and the reader who was with wilbur the night before l'manberg went boom being like super over emotional and stuff because they hadnt seen their lover in a while and just good ole comfort coming out of the reunion :0 (please the wilbur revival has had me craving wilbur content </3)

A/n: Not gonna lie, this was really hard to write at first cause of the pure angst, but i figured out a way! I really hope you enjoy it and it was really fun to write actually. Thank you for requesting!

Rules, Masterlist

"I'll come back to you."

Maybe you had been a fool to believe his words. Both you and him knew the chance was small that he would come back unscathed yet in that moment, those promising words that left his mouth were all that mattered.

The night before the bombing of L'manburg you had spent together with Wilbur. It had been calm and comfortable, spending the night in each other's arms and reminiscencing past memories. Neither of you had spoken a word of what would happen the next day.

He had built a small cabin in the woods where he stayed with you, his little escape from the outside world and all the problems that came with it.

For a while you had seen Wilbur start to slip, his sanity slowly seeping away under the pressure and responsibilities he carried.

He didn't speak to you often about L'manburg and Pogtopia, wanting to keep you seperated from his work and worries.

You had been his escape.

No matter what had happened outside the walls of your small comfortable cabin, it was as if a switch was flicked as soon as he stepped inside.

Even if it was just for a moment, he could leave all his worries and problems behind and seek comfort in your arms.

You were his cliff against the stormy sea that were his thoughts and problems, an unrelenting barrier he could escape to.

But as the day crept nearer he had explained to you what his plan was, sitting down with you as he explained what could happen.

You had known where he was when you awoke to an empty bed that morning. His warmth lingered in the blankets and his scent in the air. Leaving behind his promise to return to you from the night before.

His words were believable, you truly believed he would return to you. For the past days he had made up his mind, through cracks you thought you could see glimpses of the Wilbur you had once known.

Nothing could have prepared you for the news that Phil brought with him.

It felt as if you were torn apart piece by piece before getting out back together, yet his death left a gaping hole behind.

You had etched his name into the large builder that laid in your back garden, without a body to bury it was the most you could do as memorial.

Desperately you had clung onto the traces that he had left behind in your cabin. The pack of cigarettes left on the table, his spare beanie that hung discarded on a chair. A small pile of crumpled up papers discarded as he attempted to write letters to his father.

He never send the majority of them. After everything had gone south and he had retreated to the woods and Pogtopia it just seemed like he couldnt keep up the lies anymore.

You never touched anything he held left behind, afraid it would get rid of his last traces in the cabin. The objects were cleaned often but other than that remained untouched.

It was a few months until a see through apparition had found its way to the small cabin. It was one of the first times you had left the comforting space after Wilbur's death only to be faced with someone, something, that looked so much like him.

It had made you curl up under the protective blankets of your bed as tears streamed down your face as you grieved.

Although it had taken a long time, you learned to move on. Despite that his last traces in the cabin stayed untouched, but you healed. Slowly, step by step, but it happened.

You returned to the way you lived before. Besides the crater in your heart that you weren't sure would ever heal, you picked up your activities one by one.

You started gathering wood again, hunting for meat and gardening in your back garden where you had started a small vegetable farm beside the memorial builder.

Each time you passed it you traced your hand over the stone, lingering for a few seconds as you remembered him before moving on with what you were doing. Although you would always make sure there was a small bouquet of fresh, hand picked, wild flower laid on the stone.

The apparition didn't appear again, making you believe you had imagined the entire ordeal in the first place.

The fireplace was lit again when you were at the cabin, the windows opened to let in fresh air. Due to the secluded nature of the woods you could easily leave the windows and doors open as you gathered for materials.

Wilbur hurried away from the crater where L'manburg once stood. He left Tommy, Tubbo and Ranboo, who he had just met, behind there. Plans and ideas shot through his mind although he needed to figure something out first.

He reached the cabin in the woods, he didn't even have to think to remember the way, his body leading him down the path automatically despite it having been 13 years.

The small clearing was still exactly the same as he remembered, the cabin stood peacefully in the middle of it.

Wilbur could see a new vegetable garden beside it, surrounded my fences with lanterns attached to light it up in the dark.

The windows and doors stood open, making his entrance effortless as he entered.

The place still looked exactly the same, although he could see the small changes that had occured over time. But in general, it looked as if time had stopped flowing inside.

The pack of cigarettes laid unmoving on the bedside table that stood on his side of the bed. His spare beanie hung from the side of the clothing chair that stood in the same corner it had been in 13 years ago. The fireplace that always spread warmth and a soft golden glow when he returned to you was reduced to a smouldering pile of ashes, indicating you hadn't been gone for too long.

A small hand drawn map hung from the wall that hadn't been there before.

The only thing missing was you.

Today you had chosen to go fishing, something you had enjoyed doing before but a hobby you had left neglected for a long time.

The ripples in the water were calming as you breathed out, instantly you knew why you had always enjoyed it. There was something peaceful in watching the sun's reflexion in the small ripples the water created as the red and white striped ball floated gently along the stream.

You stayed by the river for most of the day, only returning at the end of the afternoon, satisfied with the catch of today.

As you returned home, you were caught of guard by the steady smoke that gently rose from the chimney. You could see it from a little distance away, making you question if you had checked that the fire had died before you left.

The sack you had stored the fish in hung from your hand as you gently opened the door with the other, the setting of the sun had allowed the fire to cast it's golden glow through the cabin.

That wasn't however what caught your attention. Instead the cloaked figure in the middle of the room did.

A dark cloak you could recognize between any other, paired with a beanie similar to the one you saw every day as it hung from, what had once been your shared, clothing chair. Underneath messy brown hair could be seen.

It was an appearance you could recognize in a heartbeat as tears gathered in your eyes, the sack slipping from your grasp as Wilbur turned around at the sound of the door opening.

He didn't say anything, just opened his arms invitingly as you stumbled forward, crashing into him and burying your head in his shoulder.

His hold on you was tight, he breathed in deeply through his nose, inhaling your scent as his arms squeezed harder around your form.

He had missed you so much. In those 13 years spent at the station, all he wanted was to see you one last time, to apologize for leaving you behind.

There had not been a single moment where he hadn’ t longed for your touch, for your presence, in comfort.

All that time he had thought he truly wanted to die, that this world wasn't for him. All that time you had been his deciding factor without even knowing.

But now that he had experienced it, was there and seen what it was like, he was sure of the truth, his truth.

Ha had a new lease on life and this time, he wouldn't throw it away. He had learned.

He melted into your touch as you leaned back, cupping his cheek and wiping away the stray tears he hadn't even realized that flew down his cheeks.

In your eyes he could still see the same love for him as he had seen that night. You still looked exactly like you then.

He pulled you closer, inhaling your scent as he realized he was holding you, the real, physical you, in his arms once more. You smelt like water, grass and the forest. It was a scent he would burn into his mind of he could.

You pulled him towards the bed gently, forgetting what you had been doing before entering the house and tackled him onto the bed in your hold.

His voice was rough as he spoke, pulling you closer against him as he mumbled against your skin. It may have taken him 13 years to do it, but he did it.

"I promised you I'd come back to you."

[brelione]

A Start (JJ X Reader X Rafe)

A Glitch In the System:Chapter Two

Chapter One

(Y/N)

You felt the slight itch on your arm, knowing there’d be messages written all across if you pulled up your sleeves.The car driving by slowed down ever so slightly, making you and Max speed up, taking a short cut down the hill.

 “Yeah, no.Im not down to get axe murdered unless its by Tessa Thompson.”They laughed, kicking the ground to make sure they werent too close to any puddles. “Can you get your lighter out, please?”They asked.You sighed, digging your hand into your pocket, pushing down so a faint light came from it.Thats when you noticed the words written all over your right hand. 

Im a slytherin+scorpio and my favorite food is oranges

Wow, good for them. “What?”Max asked, noticing you had stopped.They gripped your wrist, laughing at the messages. “Come on, you have to write back!What’s the worse that can happen?”They asked, beginning to walk quicker than usual.

Your house wasnt far, only a ten minute walk or so. “I dont want them to think that im interested, I dont want to get my heart broken.”You answered, holding your hand at the side of your lighter, seeing more words spread across your palm. 

“Its your soulmate!They literally cant break your heart-thats literally the whole point, dumb bitch.”They shook their head, their curls bouncing as they did so.You rolled your eyes, continuing your walk. 

“Yeah?So then why dont you write to yours, Maximus Prime?”You asked, hearing them sigh.You grinned to yourself, knowing that you had won. “Maybe I just dont have one, i dont know.Or they’re a sociopath and cant feel love so it doesnt work.”They replied, catching themselves on a tree branch after almost tripping on the large rock.

You sighed, dragging your foot along the dirt in front of you, hoping that you wouldnt fall into the stream again.It was only a few feet across and only a few inches deep but the brown water never came out of socks and gave the soles of your shoes an awful smell.

You found a twig on the ground, lighting the end of it. “(Y/N)-thats such a bad idea!You’re gonna set the whole forest on fire or something.”Max protested, watching anxiously as you tip toed on the wet rocks, getting onto the green grass at your end of the stream, waving the flaming twig in front of you.

You held the twig between your fingernails, the wood already burned halfway.Max sighed, carefully making their way across. “Can you put that out, please?”They asked.You laughed quietly, giving it a few harsh waves in the air before the flame went out, tossing what was left into the water. 

“You’re such a pussy.”You shook your head, making your way across the grass until you got to your fence, punching in the code so you could get into your backyard.The two of you made you way carefully across the yard, blindly reaching for the door knob and smacking the light switch to light up the kitchen.

Max immediately rushed to open a drawer, finding a green sharpie highlighter that was probably a couple years old before grabbing your arm and forcing you to sit down at your kitchen table.You rolled up your sleeves, showing off both of your arms for them to read.

 “One of them is in Slytherin?I dont see how that could work out.”They grumbled, opening the cap of the marker and rubbing the green ink against your skin to cross out the word.You sighed, listening to them rant about how you were lucky that you had options. 

“You should answer the questions.”They told you, handing you the sharpie.At this point they had crossed out slytherin, scorpio and oranges. “I mean...they’re a slytherin scorpio that likes citrus.That means that they’re a hot psychopath and you should just go for it.”They watched as you used the sharpie, pressing the tip of the marker against your skin to make finer lines.

You wrote your zodiac sign, eye color, favorite fruit.They hadnt left enough space for you to answer anything else.Max was watching intently, pouting when you stopped. “What are you doing?You guys are just getting to know eachother!”They exclaimed, wanting you to write more.

You laughed, pulling your sleeve back down. “The dumb whore didnt leave any space for me to write.”You answered, immediately feeling the light itch of more questions being written.

They simply sighed, grabbing a beer from your fridge and using their fingernails to open it. “But its a start.Can we please call JJ?Please?”They were practically begging you, taking a quick sip of beer before taking your phone from the pocket of your leather coat.

Rafe

Rafe sat anxiously, watching as green ink scribbled out the words along his palm.No words yet.He was trying to think of other things to ask or anything to break the ice.What was her name?What was her ideal first date?Did she like milk chocolate or dark chocolate?Did she like chocolate at all?

He twisted his arm, trying to see what she was writing.Her handwriting was a lot better than his for sure.Ward had complained multiple times that he still wrote like a toddler even on important documents and assignments.His eyebrows furrowed as he watched the name of her zodiac sign appear, reaching frantically for his phone to see if they were compatible.

Then she kept writing, answering the questions until there was barely any space left.His heart was thumping, taking a quick photo before rushing into his bathroom to scrub off the ink so he had a clean slate to write on.The green sharpie stayed, a few gaps between her words.

He dried it off as quick as he could so the ink wouldnt run before grabbing his crayola marker again to ask what her name was and where she was from and how old she was.He was laughing, a few tears falling from his eyes.

She was alive and she was out there and she was talking to him.He frowned when she didnt answer immediately but at least he knew that she was alive and well enough to write.That was a start.

(Y/N)

“Max!Now they’re asking more questions-im over this.”You placed the sharpie back down, seeing more marker spread across your arm.Max frowned, wanting to see the questions that they were writing before you covered it back up. 

“Well that sucks but that doesnt mean that JJ Maybank is like that!Lets at least try talking to JJ-maybe they wont ask as many questions.”Max replied, giving you a pout as they fluttered their long eyelashes at you.

You glared at them for a moment before finally giving in, typing the number from your arm into your phone. “What do I say?I cant exactly be like ‘oh yeah im your soulmate’ like thats so weird.”You sighed, staring at the screen.

They bit the inside of their cheeks, making a fish-like face. “Why would that be weird?They wrote their number so it only makes sense.”Max explained, getting up with the beer in their hand as they leaned over your shoulder.

You:Bitch.

Max smacked your arm. “Really?Come on!This is the person you’re gonna spend the rest of your life with and thats the first thing you’re gonna say to them?”They asked, sighing.

You couldnt understand why they cared so much about what you had to say to your soulmate when they couldnt even bring themselves to talk to theirs. “Yeah, it is.If we’re truly meant to be they’ll find it funny.”You shrugged, watching the screen and waiting for an answer.

JJ

JJ laughed at a stupid joke John.B had made, taking a sip of beer when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.All of his friends were here and their phones were nowhere to be soon so who on earth was trying to talk to him?His eyebrows knit together as he pulled out his phone, unlocking it and seeing a message from an unknown number.

The pogues noticed his silence, watching him. “Guys-guys!”He exclaimed, standing up. “What?”Pope asked, not understanding what was going on or if he had somehow missed something. “I think my soulmate just texted me.”The blonde replied, staring at his phone.

Shouts came from the group, none of them really making sense but more of just excited squeaks and screams. “What’d they say?”John.B asked, grabbing JJ by the shoulders in attempts to see the phone. “They called me a bitch!”JJ exclaimed, jumping up and down.

 “ANSWER IT!”Kiara shouted, grabbing JJ’s wrist.He laughed, cheeks bright red.He typed quickly, deleting half of what he wrote before deleting the whole thing. 

“What are you saying?Use proper grammar and dont mess up!”Pope exclaimed, joining in on the attack on his friend, trying to see the screen past John.B and Kiara. “Is this my soulmate?”He sent it before his friends could judge his life choices, waiting anxiously for an answer. 

“Idk.Guess.”Was the answer he got. “What’d they say?”Kiara shouted, hurting his ears a bit. “Here!Read it!”He exclaimed, showing her the screen. “I wish mine would answer that quick.”Pope sighed, looking down at the silver ink across his wrist that hadnt gotten a reply yet. 

“Aww, dont be like that!They’ll answer eventually, took mine like five months to answer and I still dont know who the hell they are.”John.B patted his friend on the back. 

“I think you are.”JJ typed quickly, checking it over a few times before sending it.He saw a read reciept, three gray dots floating across his screen before a message finally came along with a slight vibration of his phone.

 “Then you’re right, Maybank.”He smiled at the message, sighing softly before sitting back down, all other things that he had been thinking about had quickly been forgotten. 

“So you know my name so can I know yours?”He typed quickly, not even caring about grammar.It made enough sense for someone to read it and understand the question.

(Y/N)

You showed Max the message, trying to figure out what to do.The way this one wrote was a lot better, not jumping straight into a ton of questions.Max was a grinning mess, watching as you typed. “(Y/N).”You typed back, heartbeat quickening as you sent it.

You waited for a reply, feeling a bit sick as you saw that they were typing. “Cool.So how are you?”They asked.You laughed, sighing.Every single day since you got your mark they had told you their name and their first question was to ask how you were.

It was pretty funny.But then again they could be just like you and not really care that much. “Are you gonna reply?”They asked, hugging you from behind.You sighed, looking up at them. “Im not going to now just to spite you.”You replied, feeling them squeeze you harder. “Thats such a dry question.”You replied, biting your bottom lip. 

JJ:Sorry lmao

JJ:If you could fly or breath underwater which would you choose

That was a much better question.

You:What makes you think I cant already fly?

Max was reading over your shoulder, brown eyes moving quickly. “Ask them their gender or for a picture of them or something.”They offered you a sip of their beer.You huffed, thinking about it.

Maybe one of your soulmates was a boy and the other was a girl or something like that.Could that even happen?Max would probably know but you didnt want to them to start ranting about every soulmate story and all the possibilities and percentages and death rates and theories.

JJ:Can you?

You:Nope.I’d rather breath underwater.

JJ:Why?

You thought about it.Neither really seemed like good options.The only superpower that would really matter woud be mind reading.That could get you everything you ever wanted and more.

You:Because swimming with whales and turtles would be fucking awesome like you could swim forever and get a fake mermaid tail and just vibe and sleep underwater and talk like imagine that though

JJ

“What are you guys talking about?”John.B asked, trying his best to keep up with the situation while Kiara started to make a whole pinterest board of first date and wedding ideas.

The pogues would all be lying if they said that they thought that JJ’s soulmate would ever answer.They were sure that they would be dead or something like that.But now that they were alive and well it changed everything.

 “Superpowers.”JJ replied, typing quickly. “right but if you can fly then you can go wherever you want whenever you want and your skin wouldnt wrinkle up like a raisin and when you got tired you could just catch a ride on a dragon or a plane or a hot air balloon or something and you would never have to worry about being on a plane and crashing or car crashes off of a cliff”he typed, hoping it wasnt too morbid.

He took in a deep breath, thinking of all the questions he had always wanted to ask.Where did they live?Did they like dogs or cats?Did they know how to surf?Did they prefer movies or TV shows?He didnt want to ask too many questions too fast. 

“But mermaids.”They replied.He simply smiled, letting out a soft sigh.He still knew pretty much nothing about (Y/N) but every relationship had to start somewhere.He was already thinking of nicknames to call them, trying to picture them in his mind.

Were they a boy or a girl?How tall were they?Did they have freckles or pierced ears?What kind of clothes did they wear?Would (Y/N) like him if they had just met him before knowing that they were soulmates?What was their type?Did he fit their type?Would they be dissapointed when they finally met him?

“Can I ask a quick question?doesnt matter if you answer or not just curious”He sent the message, tapping his foot nervously.His phone vibrated, bringing his attention back to the device.

 “just ask the question.”(Y/N) answered. “What’s your gender and pronouns”he typed back.He had always assumed his soulmate was a girl but he didnt want to be rude or disrespectful towards the person he was going to marry some day.

(Y/N)

You smiled at the message, showing Max. “Yeah, this one wins.”You told them, typing back. “She/her and I identify as a girl.You?”You typed back.You were still hoping for a girl but you could accept anyone who could respect gender and pronouns.That was a good sign.

 “He/him and I identify as a dude.Sorry if im not what you expected.”he typed back.It was pretty cool that he didnt just assume that you were a straight girl. “I was hoping for a cottagecore lesbian ngl.”You typed back, biting your fingernail with a stupid love sick smile.

You already liked him.He seemed pretty great so far.You just had to hope that he wasnt putting up a front. “Im sorry lmao I can learn to bake bread and put on a dress if you want.”He replied.You were a smiling mess as you read the message, showing it to Max.

 “See!I told you it was a good idea!”They grinned, pulling off their jacket before pulling off their shirt leaving them in just their binder and large jeans. “If its such a good idea then you need to talk to your soulmate and it’ll have a good outcome.”You answered, seeing them roll their eyes. “Dont contradict yourself, Max.”You replied, going back to typing. “We gotta live in a cottage at least.”You typed.

Rafe

He didnt know what he expected to happen.He always imagined it as the first conversation being perfect and meaningful and being able to say ‘i love you’ after a week and then meet up for a date.

He just wanted to know everything about her.He wondered what her hugs felt like or what her kisses would feel like against his neck or how she’d look in his clothes.

He thought back to the dates he had made up in his head every night before he went to bed.Going to midsummers together, going mini golfing or getting icecream together and eating it on the beach.

He just wanted to know what true and perfect love would feel like.Could he provide the love and care that she deserved?Was she meant to fix everything that was wrong with him or was she meant to teach him how to be the good person that he always wanted to be?

With a slightly shaky hand he dragged the tip of a pen along his skin, writing his phone number as nicely as possible.That would make things a lot easier for her.

JJ

By now all the pogues had fallen asleep inside of John.B’s house but JJ was still in the hammock, swinging back and forth as he held his hot phone, texting (Y/N) until the sun was rising and he couldnt get anymore answers.

That meant she was probably asleep and he should be too, letting the phone rest against his chest before slowly falling asleep.At earlier than 10 in the morning he was shaken awake by Kiara. 

“JJ!JJ!JJ!My soulmate wrote to me!”She exclaimed, showing her friend her arm that had a phone number and a name written on it in green highlighter.

@nas-marie-loves-u​ @28cnn​ @sexytholland​  @yuxsh06​   @ifilwtmfc​  @cherryobx​ @poguestarkey​ @n1ghtsh4d3-67​  @poguestyleskye​ @judayyyw​  @sunwardsss @meaganjm​ @sarcasticsagittarius1998​ @jj-fic-recs​ @homophobicclownmoviestan​ @jj-iz-bae​ @natalie-kate-98​ @negativity4you​ @nxsmss​ @ofmaybankheart​ @broken-jj​ @joshy-obx​  @curroptbunnie​ @outerbnx-stiles​ @angelreyesgirl100  @hannahhh-marie​ @sadnessrehab @purple-vodka-99​ @annmariek8​ @harryswigss​ @imagines-07​ @pink-meringues​   @popcrone818​ @fttayla​ @cherryobx​ @drewstarkeyobx​ @jjtheangel​ @jj-iz-bae​@sunwardsss    @natalie-kate-98​ @nxsmss​ @broken-jj​  @prejudic3​  @outerbongs​  @copper-boom​  @httpstarkey​ @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl​  @simonsbluee   @jiaraendgame  @khiaraaa-in-spacee​  @on-socks-off​  @abbiesthings​ @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @i-love-scott-mccall​  @rae131415 

[voidselfshipp]

Lautibule

Ok to rb

Cw: food ment, mild swearing, ask to tag

Taglist: @lilacslovers @girlboss-mrsschnee

The wind blew mercilessly on that afternoon, sighing quietly to herself she looks down at the city.

Her knees against her chest, there was a comforting aspect of the city below her, even if the noises were many and its habitants were restless.

Jerico was a writer, an artist with a very soft heart and wild emotions.

She grabbed her sketchbook re-reading whatever nonsense she wrote down.

Her heart ached for someone to love.

The appartments door clicked softly as she entered her home and closed the door behind her.

She quietly sits on the sofá, turning on her TV as she pulled her laptop on her lap.

Ignoring whatever Shenanigans the avengers got themselves into.

Nothing, absolutely nothing came to mind, her writing skills gone with the Savage Winds of the outside.

Groaning she closed the laptop and left it on the coffee table.

Dragging herself to her room she kneeled infront of the bottom shelf of her library, pulling out a book.

--There it is!-- she mutters quietly to herself before sitting in bed.

Mythology was her favourite subject to read about.

And one day finally something came to her mind.

Its another windy day, she paces along the rooftop of her appartment complex.

-- "loves a trickster nobody is safe from...

Even the most stoic of humans, whose heart resembles a rock.

Can tell you about love.

Sometimes it makes hearts of gold crack, dimming the shining after not loving back.

But yet we Keep loving, and we Keep moving.

Loves a trickster but thats why we love it "-- she said to herself, then sighing-- god, its so cheesy-- she sits on the floor, grabbing the piece of paper and throwing it behind her.

A bird Lands on it, jerico is unaware of this as she goes back into the complex.

Loki de-transforms when she leaves, Reading between the crumpled paper, then looking at the little shed that lead back into the appartments.

He kept the poem, hung it on his wall, thanking that he lived right Next to her.

The Next day he did the same

Another piece discarded, out of uncertainty and self doubt, jerico thought that they were trash, yet loki thought they were the most beautiful things he had ever read in his life.

--" why our hearts suffer?, why do we cry when our hearts are broken.

They say that there are Many fish in the sea, but when your net breaks every time you try, then why Keep going, we start to wonder if its out wrong doing.

Hope is a dangerous thing, but its also why we Keep trying.

One day we May catch a fish, big or small, it doesnt matter.

We Keep trying because hope is love,because out of hope we mend out Nets and Keep trying.

And even if our hearts break...

Hopes warm embrace hands us the needle and thread and says 'try again' " --the god coos Reading the poem, and hanging it on his wall.

An idea sparks in his mind, he wasnt the best at this, he shouldve payed attention in poetry class when he was a kid.

The Next afternoon jerico found a note.

"For the girl that writes poetry.

-the Man from Next door."

She reads whats below the note.

"They say that one Mans trash is anothers treasure.

You dont measure your words as you say so.

You chasticize yourself when you let go.

Throwing away your writings not good, yet they made every single one of my afternoons.

Your writing is just as beautiful as your voice.

Please,dont silence your hearts voice.

Pd: yeah I rhymed voice with voice,sue me

~the Man Next door"

Jerico smiles softly taking the Note and putting it in her pocket.

Loki quietly sneaked by, watching her from the little shed that took into the appartment building.

--"With every note"--jer started-- " I sing my song

Troubled hearts pull eachother, in their eye of the storm they find peace.

One day I shall find my missing piece.

But with every Poem I write, and the crumb you just left me.

Maybe it wont take long before I find my own eye of the storm"-- she turns around on her Heels and loki freaks out-- how long have you been standing there?-- jerico said walking towards him-- did you leave this note?

The trickster stutters-- I I uh yes I did, I just-- he sighs-- I couldnt let your beautiful poems go to waste

She smiles-- thats very nice of you....

-- loki,im loki

Jer raises her eyebrows-- the loki? The dude who invaded us all those years ago?

He sighs scratching the back of his neck-- not my finest moment, Will my errors of the past prevent me from inviting you over for a cup of tea?--he makes a stop-- I didnt meant for it to rhyme...

Jer giggles,taking his arm-- not at all

He smiles and both walk to his appartment.

--Here you go-- loki said handing her a Cup of tea.

--why thank you

He nodds leaning back on the sofa-- if you dont mind me asking, why is it that you write?

Jer looks at her tea and then him-- the reason why poets write, to talk about their problems, their sorrows and pains

He nodds-- well, you have a very beautiful way of expressing yours

--Heh, thanks loki

So, every afternoon after jerico read her poems to loki theyd go for some tea at his place.

The god was madly in love with her, he knew that if his brother were there he'd get endlessly mocked for it.

Yet here he was, inviting her over for dinner at his place.

They sat on the couch with the food ready, the TV as background noise as they talked about their day.

--and the cashier freaked out when she saw you?

Loki nodds scoffing-- I cant even go and buy food anymore

Jer giggles--well, shit happends

He nodds-- indeed-- looking at his food, the god takes a deep breath-- I have to tell you something

Jerico looks up at him -- what is it?

Its better if he just says it-- im in love with you!

Jer is left there astonished, she puts her food on the coffee table and scoots closer to him-- well,I Also am...

The Man looks at her and hugs her-- thank god

After eating they go cuddle on Lokis bed, he pressed his head on her chest, as she caressed his hair--wanna hear a poem I wrote?

He hugs her by the waist nodding-- yes please

-- "latibule, it means a cozy, safe and hidden away place.

We found that space for our pained hearts to rest in the most unexpected people.

Sometimes they come out of nowhere with no warning, but thats what makes them plausible, latibule.

And I think I found it, in a mischevious god from all people.

With the most beautiful eyes I could get lost into"

Loki laughs pressing a kiss to jericos lips-- youre the most romantic human I ever met, and thats why I love you

Jer kissed him again pulling him closer as both crawl under the blankets-- I love you too loki

Slowly they fall asleep, loki wondered how did he get so lucky? He found himself a keeper that would take good care of his heart, and he'd make sure to return the favor.

[ninzied]

another kind of goodbye

for @carry-the-sky. happy birthday, my friend! have a little post-cancellation kastle fic.

It’s three months, give or take, when Frank lets himself think about her again. Really think about her. Not in the passing kind of way, where he’s walking down some street and sees a bouquet of gardenias, like the kind he’d almost gotten her instead of the roses that day. Or when he’s sipping on coffee, and Karen’s face flashes like a mirage at him across the cheap Formica table – blonde hair almost white under the shit diner lighting, but those eyes still so blue as she told him he would never lie to her.

So – okay, so he thinks about her. He thinks about her.

(He wonders if she—)

Frank eventually makes his way back to the city again, after. Another day, another job. Madani thinks he’s meant for something greater than this – than picking off these scum-of-the-earth kinds of assholes that litter the streets of a place like New York.

He can’t believe that he was meant for greater, but. Sometimes, he does wonder. If a part of him – whatever part of him that’s not still buried deep down in the ground with his family – was meant to come back here. To walk these streets and feel the pull of her, always, even when that’s all he can afford to feel.

He tells himself that has to be enough.

He’s been laying low, since his return. Coughed up some cash for a three-hundred-square-footer in Brooklyn, but he crosses the bridge to the city most days, maybe even finds his way to Hell’s Kitchen from time to time too. It’s risky, he knows. If Murdock catches wind of him, they’d be lucky to walk away from each other in one piece. And Karen…

There’d be a different kind of hell to pay, if Karen ever found out.

His phone gives a single buzz in his pocket as he’s hunkering his way down 47th, and he stops in his tracks, nearly colliding with an elderly woman in the middle of the sidewalk.

“Excuse me!” she says in a shrill voice, bag clutched tight to her chest.

“Apologies, ma’am,” he nods as she makes a show of putting as much distance between them as possible, and then he fishes his phone out, hesitating for one absurd moment before glancing down at the screen.

Back in town yet, Castle?

He barks out a laugh. Chrissakes, Madani.

His phone buzzes again.

I have a job for you, if you’re still interested.

“Still,” mutters Frank, with a scoffing shake of his head. He thinks he admires her perseverance, but Madani’s gotta know she’s only wasting her breath.

He cuts south down 10th, toward Lincoln Tunnel. It’s a brisk day, and the wind on his face feels sharper than usual, considering he hasn’t bled much there in a while. He jams his hands deeper into his pockets, ignoring the insistent drone of Madani’s follow-up call.

He’s got a date with a park bench on the wrong side of town, and if he closes his eyes, he can pretend it’s the same bridge overlooking the water, and when he opens them again Karen’ll be there, waiting for him.

…

His closest call comes with, of all people, the lawyer. Not Red – the other one. Franklin Nelson.

Frank’s emerging with coffee two storefronts down just as another door opens, and he’s cursing himself for not seeing the signs when out tumbles Nelson with his back turned, adjusting his tie against the wind.

“Foggy bear, wait!” someone else is laughing, and a blonde lady steps out to chase after him, slinging a purse over her shoulder and reaching with her other hand to link around his elbow.

“I told him this was gonna make me late for work,” grumbles Nelson, but without any heat to the words. “Dad’s surprise party isn’t until tomorrow, don’t know why this couldn’t have waited – oh, crap, I forgot I told Karen I’d pick up some coffee—”

Nelson’s about-facing sharply, girlfriend following closely behind. He doesn’t appear to notice Frank crouched down in a corner by the 7-Eleven, hood obscuring half his face as he trains his eyes on the ground by their feet. The girl unearths some coins from her bag as they pass, clinking them onto the lid of Frank’s coffee cup without seeming to hear his low mutter of thanks.

He’s leapt up the moment he hears the door latch shut, brushing the coins into his palm as he goes.

He leaves them with a guy camped out by the train stop, a dog lifting her head from their blankets to blink sleepy eyes up at Frank, and he walks away harder, takes the steps two at a time and wishes – God he wishes—

…

Another text from Madani.

He shuts his phone off. Goes back to retrieve it ten seconds later from the trash can that he’d dumped it in, wiping it down and scowling as her message pops up on the screen.

Castle – offer still stands, FYI.

“You should call her back,” advises a man huddled down by the newsstands next to him. His face is like leather, worn down and weathered with age, with living. “Apologize for whatever it is that you did, so you don’t end up out here like me.”

“Already there,” Frank tells him, turning the phone over and over in his hand. Madani’s message lights up again each time, flashing and flashing until he sees it like a burn through his retinas even when the phone’s no longer facing him.

“Damn. That’s a damn shame.” The guy shifts, scratching at a spot on his back. “Maybe shouldn’t’ve stayed away from her for so long.”

Frank shakes his head, uttering a short, incredulous laugh. “Well, maybe I got my reasons, yeah? You think about that?”

“Doesn’t matter what I think,” shrugs the guy. “Does she think they’re any good? These reasons of yours?”

Frank turns away, jaw working furiously.

“Yeah.” The guy shouldn’t have any right to sound as smug as he does, and yet. “Yeah, I didn’t think so.”

…

He’s got no place in coming here. He knows it. He knows it, but he thinks it was always meant to be this way, him circling back around to her, even after everything that he’s done to push her away. Maybe a part of him had never left. And the rest is just – there, hovering right at the edge of some sharp realization, that he could try to be whole again if he simply took that first step. And a part of Karen must at least sense that. It’s why she’d never really given up on him, before.

It doesn’t change how I feel about you.

Frank wonders if she’d forgive him this time. If he’d even want her to.

It wouldn’t be anything close to what he deserves, that’s for goddamn sure.

He gazes up at her fire escape, counts the number of steps it would take just to be able to reach that bottom rung from his vantage point across the street. Her shades are drawn, the lines of them blurred out in the dim orange light. On one corner of the windowsill, wedged up against the glass, there’s a small stack of books. On the other, a vase. From this angle, the shadows folded into the fabric of her curtains look almost like flower stems.

Frank squints, and the stems disappear.

…

There’s about a week in between, where he feels himself inching closer to something, each time he drops by her block. He never goes farther than the patch of sidewalk across from her building, but it’s getting harder not to just careen over the ledge.

More than anything, he wishes he knew, in those moments obscured in half-darkness, whether he’s come to look for that after she’d spoke of, or if he’s come to say goodbye.

Then, one day he spots flowers in her window, for the first time since—

(They’re pale white against the cream of her curtains, their stems dark slivers of green, and he imagines them pricking the pad of his thumb, drawing up a spot of blood.)

Frank takes a deep breath.

…

She doesn’t look surprised to see him when she opens the door, swinging it back two-thirds of the way before stopping. Her lips are pressed tightly together, like there’s too much to say, or maybe there’s things that she can’t, either way he can’t read her and he thinks she’s never terrified him more.

Frank drops his gaze, mouth moving soundlessly until the words grind their way out. “How’d you know I was here, Karen?”

He’s not sure what kind of answer he’s expecting. That Nelson had grown a real pair of eyes, or that Red had managed to ferret him out of his lurking somehow. Or maybe Karen really just hadn’t known at all, and those flowers were never for him.

What Karen says instead is, “Dinah and I grab a beer together, sometimes.”

“That right?” he asks, trying to lay out an image of this in his mind. It sits strangely there, stumping him for a moment, and some of his bewilderment must show on his face because Karen’s mouth almost turns up in a smile before flattening again.

She leans away from the doorjamb, waving her hand in a worn-looking gesture before letting it drop to her side. “Besides, you…haven’t exactly been subtle, in your haunting of Hell’s Kitchen.”

He doesn’t know what to say to that, other than a gruff, “’S’what dead men do, Karen,” as she folds her arms and sighs at him.

“You sure you’re not just losing your touch, Frank?” She steps into the doorway, whether to move closer to him or to block him out of her apartment, he can’t tell. “Or was it because you wanted me to know but couldn’t tell me to my face?”

His eyes snap up to hers, twitching slightly under the sharp weight of her gaze. He shakes his head, wishing he could just ask her, What do you want from me, Karen? but they’re long past that now, and if he can’t find his own way to answer her, then.

God, he really doesn’t deserve this woman.

“I think I—” He shifts his body and tries again. “I think I needed to figure some things out. Karen. I was waiting 'til I felt like I was ready, and I don’t think I’ll ever be that.” But I’m here, he wants to say, but I’m here.

“Yeah.” Karen’s nodding, hair falling into her face, and she brushes it back, resting her chin in her palm for a moment. “I know that, Frank.” All of the fight in her seems to have ebbed slowly back, and he resists the urge to reach out and shake the storm back into motion, to make her understand she doesn’t get to let him off the hook so easy.

The look she gives him now is softer, but he knows. Fight’s not done. May never be done. And he knows this because he knows he’ll never stop fighting for her.

She’s stepped back into the door, letting it swing open further. She doesn’t invite him in, but she’s quirked an eyebrow up at him, biting her lip with another deep sigh and a shake of her head.

“You, uh.” Frank glances back and forth at their surroundings, doesn’t quite meet her eye. Tries to lighten his tone through the gruffness as he asks her, “So, you wanted to see me?”

Her voice is soft, forbearing, with a hint of gentle knowing behind it. “You didn’t?”

She’s holding back the clear start of a smile from him this time, and Frank. Christ. It’s taking everything in him not to step toward her, to—

Karen tilts her chin at him, the motion loosening another wave of blonde hair, and he can’t remember anymore why he was trying so hard to stand back from all this. He’s moving, swaying forward until she’s just an arm’s length away, and there’s something almost teasing about the way she relaxes her shoulder into the door as she watches him.

“You back to kill some people, Frank?”

He feels a corner of his mouth turn up. This girl. He licks his lips, lets out a quiet sort of laugh. “That was the plan, yeah.”

Karen gazes up at him, unblinking. “Have you?”

“I was—” Frank has to look away for a moment, finally turning back when he can. His eyes are steady, boring into hers, voice low and full with meaning. “I was. Working on it.”

Karen nods. Doesn’t speak for long seconds, and he measures them out in heartbeats, chest tightening hard enough it feels like it might break when she asks him, very carefully, “Still?”

Frank steps closer, close enough to feel the way her breath shakes with a small sigh, how her body moves away from the door to meet him.

His hand is inches from hers, but he doesn’t reach for her. Not yet.

She waits, gaze searching. He gives the barest shake of his head, and a single word, gravel-filled, a promise. “No.”

Something cracks open in her expression, and it means everything to him, her head ducking away as though she can’t have him looking too closely at the way she's biting back that smile of hers, and he thinks – he thinks he wants to make her do it again, and again, for as long as she will have him.

“Would you like to come in, Frank?”

He takes her hand in his this time, feeling the pull of her as he steps across the threshold, door shutting firmly behind them, and it feels like coming home.

[tinypigeonlord]

Don’t mind me, just have had a lot of thoughts on the new Pokemon game so imma write them down. There’s been a lot of posts and videos on what people wanna see or don’t wanna see in the new game too and I wanna give my own two cents to no one in particular.

So first of all graphics. I hear a lot of shit on that. Personally I don’t really have all that many expectations? Like yeah it’s gonna be a Switch game, the quality could possibly be better than we’ve seen. But also did people look over that ‘game footage not final’? Things may still improve and be further optimized. More than that, I love the artstyle atleast? Everything looks so colorful and vibrant and alive and goooood ;w; It sure got my attention. I can’t wait to see all the new areas on my big tv <3

Pokemon popping up and roaming vs random encounters: On one hand I love how lively everything looks with pokemon showing up in the overworld, on the other hand I love the random encounters? I personally liked hunting down specific pokemon, not knowing what I would encounter. I feel like this is also more fun when you’re doing a Nuzlocke; You can’t ‘cheat’ and select a pokemon from those that are currently roaming with random encounters. Aside from that, people mentioned that the roaming aspect made areas look more vacant instead because a lot of open space is needed for bigger pokemon roaming. And finally, it makes the surprise way more fun if a shiny shows up in a random encounter, instead of roaming between the rest of the ‘mon?

Pokemon following you/walking with you: PLS PLS PLS bring this back and expand on it, for all pokemon. Also the option to select which partymember you want to walk with. That was one thing that bummed me out in HeartGold/SoulSilver. If I wanted to walk with my fave, I also needed to have it in the front of the party and throw it out in battle, even in areas where it was at a disadvantage due to type or level. And sometimes I had a pokemon in front for the sake of progression but I didnt necessarily want to walk with it, but there was no option to turn walking off in HG/SS. I believe they did add these options in Let’s Go Pikachu/Eevee, but I havent played these games so I don’t know for sure what the options are. I kinda also want to have the option to pick whether I will walk with a ride pokemon or actually ride it? Like, it was hella cool that you could ride arcanine, persian, haunter or snorlax, etc. But what if I wanted it to just follow me? :/ What I also want back is the national dex once you completed the main story. Let most of the pokemon which first appear be gen 8, and after you beat the main game, pokemon from other generations show up more and you can catch new pokemon that were previously unavailable. I hated how in SuMo, I couldnt see a pokemon’s national dex number, and couldnt get any data on it if it wasnt native to Alola. 

Also this is gonna sound surprising coming from a shiny hunter, but I want the shiny charm to be a reward for filling the entire national dex again (minus mythicals/events), and make the shiny rate 1/8192 again instead of 1/4091. As much as I love my shinies, I kinda feel like they’re becoming a really common thing and way too easy to obtain? I do like there being methods to find shinies easier, such as Masuda breeding, chain-fishing, SOS-chaining, etc, but make it atleast a little bit harder than it currently is, to make all that effort worth it.

Compatibility with pokebank/the 3DS titles!! I want to transfer all my precious bbies I caught over the years to come join me in the next adventure. That would make it even more awesome if walking pokemon also returns; I can walk with my faves then, not just the pokemon available in Sword/Shield. Also Cloud compatibility. I know Nintendo is afraid of people abusing Cloud to edit save files and I can see them not adding cloud for Pokemon to prevent peeps from somehow cloning or editing pokemons, but on the other hand... Right now, I have ALL my rare, valuable pokemon stored on a Ultra Sun cartridge. Every super rare shiny legendary I spent MONTHS on to encounter, every event pokemon from events that will never happen again, and every pokemon that has nostalgic value to me. If that game cartridge breaks, they’re all gone. If Cloud storage would be a thing for pokemon, I’d have a lot less anxiety about gathering all my babies on a single game with the risk of losing ALL OF THEM. Besides, I pay for online service and cloud, and thusfar havent been able to use the feature for my games :/

And definitely compatibility with pro controller. I really do not like the feel of the joycons, nor the pokeball plus, especially not after playing for a few hours, so I’m really hoping we’ll be able to use the pro controller. Considering we seem to be getting the old battle system back instead of Let’s Go’s, I don’t see why they shouldn’t add pro controller compatibility. Besides, I spent a lot of money on this thing, lemme use it >:v

Customization. The new trainers look absolutely adorable, but being able to make your trainer fit your style more is still great and makes things more personal. On one hand I’d love even more options for customization than in SuMo, on the other hand I fear I will never even get anywhere cause I’ll be spending hours mixing and matching outfits :’D I am not at all fashionable irl, but my characters in games have to look tip top. Most importantly, I want gender-neutral stuff!! As in, the option to wear clothes or hairstyles regardless of the gender you picked at the beginning. Give me a girl and the female pronouns, but the option to get the haircut that the boys get and that flannel he wears. For example.

Minigames! Not everyone is a fan of them, but personally I love things like Contests, PokeAthlon, the Underground, Missions in the Festival Plaza, etc. Especially multiplayer stuff. Give me other stuff to do besides battling. And on that note give me fun multiplayer features; besides trading and battling! The feature where you can call for another trainer in Let’s Go seemed fun to me. Being able to connect with other players and joining them in your game to do stuff together. Like how you can invite people to your town in Animal Crossing, go to the island and take on island challenges from Tortimer.

Story-wise, it would be great to have a big long story, also post-game, which doesn’t end too soon, but with the option to skip cutscenes if you so please, and more importantly, have the freedom to also explore. In Sun/Moon, you were constantly forced to go to a very specific location, everything else was blocked, and you had a cutscene every new area. Like, it was all very linear. I love the older games in that regard, where there is a story, but you figure out yourself how to progress without NPCs constantly telling you where to go and what to do. I always have this issue where after I’m done with the story, I’m kind of... lost on what to do next, so personally I love a long story to keep me busy. Give me a serious threat for the antagonists. Team Skull was lovely and I enjoyed their antics, but I want to feel like I’m saving the Galar region or even bigger, rather than just stomping on some bullies, PETA (Plasma) or fashion disasters (Flare). Also gimme an asshole rival. Lately we’ve had a bunch of precious bbies who must be protected, now bring back a rival who deserves an asswhooping and had it coming. :v As for the new gyms with gym masters instead of leaders, I have no opinion yet. I like the good ol’ themed gyms, I liked the trials. The arena thing looks pretty neat thusfar, but there’s not enough info yet for me to have much of an opinion now. I heard a rumor that this game will also have missions you can do to earn rewards & brownie points, and that would be really cool. I always really love missions in RPGs. I’m just hoping that there will be like, a combination of one-time missions AND daily missions so you don’t run out of things to do eventually after completing a whole list.

I’m also hoping that any potential mythical pokemon will come in the form of missions. The whole serial codes giveaways suck. Just entering a code for some random delivery man to appear in the pokemon center, just casually handing you a super rare mythical pokemon like it’s nothing is just bs. Give me new story, sidequests or missions DLC for a mythical pokemon instead. Like Celebi in Crystal + HG/SS, Mew in Emerald, Shaymin and Darkrai in Platinum, and then expand the missions even more. Pokemon Ranger actually did this really well; you had to go on a mission involving the pokemon before you got it.

Finally, maybe a difficulty setting. People always complain that the games are too easy and that you have to use self-imposed rules such as Nuzlockes to make it remotely challenging. Maybe add a normal or easy mode for young kids just getting into the games, including tutorials such as the trainer school so they can get used to how everything works. Make a harder setting for veterans who like the games to have some challenge but are still in it for the story, and a Very Hard/Ultimate mode for competitive players who know every in and out of the game and are looking for a challenge where you really have to balance your team out and know what you’re doing to progress, and for people who can’t care less about the story elements of the games.

[foolgobi65]

What’s the deal with padmavati?

this is going to be a long long post im so sorry in advance.... to start off with, im a diaspora kid raised in a dominant caste hindu family, and i just finished watching this movie in hindi which is not a language i understand well so if i didnt catch some things im so sorry and please feel free to add more. 

im basically going to separate the movie from the news event, and go further into why its both a bad movie and a bigoted one. the rest of this is under the cut

ok! padmavati/padmaavat (they had to change the name) as a movie and as a general News Item is .... a fucking disaster. 

in terms of the news, the karni sena which is a hindu nationalist (terrorist) group decided that this movie was an affront to their ancestors and dishonored their “queen” padmavati. Padmavati is the character in a Sufi poem called the Padmavat, and thus did not actually exist. There was talk of some dream sequence where she got with Khilji, the antagonist but most people are pretty sure it doesnt exist. The Karni Sena and their ilk has turned to rioting since the Indian Supreme Court ruled that the movie should be allowed to play, and their latest act of Rajput Valor has been attacking schoolchildren to show India the true glory of their caste. Before the movie came out there was a bounty on Deepika Padukone’s nose, her head, the director Bhansali’s head, and threats by Rajput women to commit jauhar (burn themselves alive). 

All of this, notably, without a great deal of interference and sometimes the tacit encouragement of the BJP government in power both within the provinces that are affected as well nationally. 

This mess meant that the movie released about 2 months after it was supposed to, and created this idea that to watch it was to support free speech. 

padmavaavat as a MOVIE is also a giant fucking mess.

it’s got a ridiculously regressive worldview, and the movie so far is casteist, sexist, islamophobic and homophobic. it is also a poorly written, plotted, and edited movie. 

casteist: it glorifies the dominant rajput caste, does not include anyone from outside that caste at all, will not fucking shut up about rajput valor when its clear in the present that rajput valor and values has led to a lot of shitty things. within the movie the rajputs basically constantly lose yet are still somehow portrayed as winners. their biggest victory comes from padmavati, who is from Singhal (sri lanka) and uses her intelligence instead of just fronting about her “rajput values.” Also historically the rajputs didnt become winners until they surrendered to the mughals and became commanders of the mughal army. they’re huge losers who are trying to rewrite history because theyre a pathetic martial caste known for hundreds of their women burning themselves alive when the men lose a batttle. 

sexist: the whole concept of jauhar is based on the idea that a woman’s chastity is more important than their life. 11 year old girls, pregnant women, it doesnt matter. A rajput woman cannot be allowed to live if there is even a glimmer of doubt that she may be touched by a man. Within this, she doesn’t even have the dignity to choose to die, and must ask permission beforehand from her husband. Are there women who might have wanted to live? Who knows? They’re all dead now, coerced into burning themselves alive. I’d also like to add that the movie never addresses the fate of the /non/ rajput women, which highlights a huge issue of caste and how it affects gender dynamics of hindu women. Dominant caste women are considered pure, and so they must die to preserve this purity. Other women are ignored -- if they are taken as slaves, it doesnt matter because the real victory is that khilji couldnt take the Rajput women. 

Islamophobic: the entire movie exists to highlight the differences between the “perverse” “dark” “dank” “dirty” “insane” “cheating” “evil” Muslim, and the “clean” “light” “honorable” “pure” Hindu. The colors, the scenery, the food, and of course the characters themselves, all serve this insidious idea that Muslims are the savage invader, in India to plunder everything beautiful about it, especially its dominant caste women. By all nominal accounts, Khilji was a conqueror, and he acted like many conquerors did -- including, I might add, many “hindu” conquerors. If he was crueler than other conquerors, that is of course because of who he was as a person and not because of his religion. Khilji’s wife played by Aditi Rao hydari might have been the only actually good muslim character and even then she’s portrayed as the islamophobic victim muslim wife, trapped in a horrific marriage with a savage. There’s more to be said but like ... the foundation of this movie is the idea of a primordial culture clash which of course doesnt actually exist 

homophobic: malik kafur is khilji’s eunuch slave general and he’s portrayed as being in love with khilji. its one sided, and theres one homophobic comment by the rajputs at some point. khilji maybe could be seen as reciprocating a little but tbh its all just to further this idea that khilji and co are savage, foreign (muslim) perversions. a few scenes directly contrast malik and khilji v padmavati and ratan and clearly, the hindu heterosexual couple is meant to be the good, pure, holy one. i will say malik/khilji was the only pair i was really rooting for, and this was an almost 3 hour movie meant to center on padmavati/ratan. 

bhansali also lowkey exotified sri lanka and made it seem as like .. some foreign place with lots of buddha statues and like ... shes this strange jungle princess??? i appreciate the mention of buddhism in sri lanka/south india but i dont think she was shown to be buddhist so .... yikes. also it was 7 minutes but it was weird. he cant do anything right. 

special shoutout to the absolutely horrific jauhar scene for valorizing and glorifying hundreds of dominant caste women killing themselves because their king is too incompetent to win in single combat. the way khilji wins is btw a pathetic attempt by bhansali to make his victory actually ratan’s victory even tho ratan is a huge loser who cheats on his first wife, drones on about his honor to the point where i want to kill him myself, has the military sense of a guppy fish, and is visibly proud that the love of his life wants to burn herself alive for him. 

also SPECIAL shoutout to the end positioning of the battle between the rajputs and khilji as a “dharma yudh” or a war of righteousness. it is compared to rama v ravana, and the kurkshetra war and khilji v rajput is said to be the third war of righteousness, akin to these religious struggles. khilji is directly compared to ravana. its ridiculous. its dangerous. its horrific. of course the victory of truth in this instance is that the women khilji covets (only the dominant caste ones ofc) are burned to death. to position khilji (whose army carries flags that look EXactly like the pakistani flag) as the essence of pure evil, and the fight against him a righteous war of religion in this especially islamophobic time is disgusting. the writers should be ashamed. 

As a movie, the dialogues which i admit i didnt fully understand are apparently overwrought, sappy and ridiculous. 

the plot was too much, there were a bunch of plot points that could have been cut to make a better movie.

i was never convinced of the central love pair because there really wasnt anything about them that made me feel the other was worth being their one and only love. the falling in love process was rushed to the point that i think it should have been cut out altogether and the movie should have started with padmavati established as his queen. 

the treatment of ratan’s first wife was horrific -- shes basically sidelined and is jealous a few times and then kills herself along with everyone in the fire. just ... bad writing all around. 

the editing overall was bad. the editing of ghoomar to make the karni sena happy was atrocious. 

i hated ratan, i liked padmavati for like 30 minutes maybe when she’s in charge of the kingdom and is smart, i liked khilji despite the ways he was villanized, i liked aditi rao hydari as khilji’s wife, i liked malik kafur. the visuals were fine but the battles looked weird. 

overall its a shitty bigoted movie that people are watching because the movie itself is like ... soft bigotry and portrays a bigoted worldview but the karni sena hindu rajput terrorists are stupid and decided to throw a fit and stone schoolchildren. it became some free speech victory to go watch a movie that espouses the same worldview as the ones trying to shut it down bc 2018 sucks. 

sorry for the long rambly reply, if you have any more questions feel free to ask! if anyone has more to add please do -- like i said theres stuff that i might not have caught given my privileged worldview 

[sweetlifetownsville]

Doing A Little With A Lot: Move Over Jesus, Your Loaves And Fishes Stunt Ain't In It Against The Townsville Bulletin.

The good old Astonisher showed its going to be more of the same in 2019, sleight of hand, selective reporting and all manner of insulting idiocy same old, same including a spectacular miss this weekend not a word about one of Townsville most long standing favourite eateries bites the dust Michels On Palmer Street is no more. Bancroft boo-boo Channel 7 embraces fake news: so lacking in a sense of the ridiculous, theyre about to disappear up their own ummm kazoo. And the President turns on the pester-power: Trump throws the biggest and longest tanty in living memory ruining the holiday season for thousands of his own people. But first For those many people who have been inquiring about Mark Donnellys funeral in Cairns, it will be at 2pm Wednesday Jan 9th, at St Francis Church, Mayer Street, Cairns. Vale, mate Moving On Its climate change on Bentleys mind. Our toonist is originally a Croweater from Adelaide, and he was amazed to see the jam packed crowds on Adelaide beaches in a TV report about the ghastly weather theyre having over there. The Pie also recalls that during his time in the City of Churches, beach-going was an occasional thing and attracted only sparse crowds to the sandy shores. But Bentley believes climate change is rapidly altering time honoured Aussie pastimes, and soon, getting an all-over tan will be a thing of the past.

Speaking of Things Of The Past

This now sadly includes the much loved Michels restaurant in Palmer Street, which served its last mean on December 22nd. This is how the unexpected news was broken on FB.

It will be sorely missed by many, including The Pie, who just hung out for the lunch-time beef and burgundy pie. Ironic that the one time our local paper had the opportunity to use the word iconic almost correctly, it has completely missed this information which would be of far more interest than the iconic Sizzlers leaving town. (More on that shortly). Well That Didnt Take Long Did It? The Townsville Bulletin set the tone for the year on the very first day of 2019, Tuesday January 1, with a rib-tickling own goal with this front page.

Wow, all those people turning up for a pic, where did they all come from? Well, at least half of them from nowhere. Heres how this little piece of patronizing chicanery went down. First, a couple of weeks ago, this appeared on the Astonishers FB page.

Boy, be on the front page! And didnt that get them flocking in for their 15 minutes of fame not. Just 41 people made themselves available, including the Cowboys mascot and as many of the Bulletins staff who could be spared to avoid the embarrassment of attracting almost bugger interest.

Then the front page appeared, a cheesy tedious old trope of people spelling out the year. Many people more than 41, it would seem. But hang on, lets have a closer look.

Whats all this? This is what all this is.

fair to say that all those excited people were beside themselves behind themselves, and then in front of themselves. Now a while back, the flagship of News Corpse tabloids, Sydneys Daily Telegraph got a clip arround its corporate ears for photo-shopping pics of politicians in unflattering historical situations. As if we needed to be told that Kevin Rudd was a nazi! Pretending to be chastised, management decreed that in future, just so no one was misled, all photoshopped images in all News publications would carry the legend digitally altered.Someone at the Astonisher overlooked this, clearly wishing the few readers it has left would believe it was so widely popular that it had attracted a throng of NY well-wishers. but it seems someone suddenly realised that some arsesole like The Magpie maybe would tumble to the lie, so thinking they could squirm out of it, they really blew their foot off by belatedly posting this on their FB page. The Pie has asked before, and now asks again are they all bloody drunk down there? BTW, the relevant FB page is said to have attracted 4500 views which at a guess that would be comprised of 4458 editorial and advertising staff and their family and friends frantically revisiting the FB as often as they could. At least that was the drill when The Pie was taking Ruperts shilling. But Wait, Theres More The firsts for the year kept coming thick and fast. This story had people wondering if the paper had a cut-price Tardis operating

and that resulted in the first correction of the year.

Although it is quite possible that Messagebank Walker, send out last years media release, and true to form, the reporter just wrote it up with a thought of what it was actually saying. f they would know the difference. Another media release that went into the paper untouched and of course unquestioned could have been headlined Mission Impossible.

Hahahahaah gasp snurffle dont you just love the combination of casual impertinence and immeasurable benchmark of making Townsville Australias first mentally healthy city. This is pure Labor crackpottery at its best, and a great excuse to wring out a few more public dollars for pointless jobs for the boys and girls. Mentally healthy City steering committee? National leader in this field? Pray tell, just how is this going to be measured oh, wait, I know soon it will be announced that we have achieved the title of Australias mentally healthiest city, but we cant be told why or any details because of both privacy and Commercial in Confidence reasons. What an out and out rort. The Townsville City Council has no business stumping up a single cent for this totally obscure nonsense. And youve just gotta love that this call for a mentally healthy city is coming from one of the greatest rates-gouging, anxiety-creating, booze-binge inducing ineptocracies of posturing inadequates one couldnt create as fiction.

And all publicised in a paper that has long abrogated its traditional responsibilities in the interests bargain-basement kiddy journalism and a quick advertising quid (and hows that working for you, eh?) Yet Another Jarring Juxtaposition And it would appear that either no one checks advertising content against news content to avoid this sort of blundering idiocy.

But never mind, iditor Jenna Cairney knows how to thunder away about the really important issues affecting us during the week, it was oh, dear it was people who oh, The Pie cannot bear to utter the words, read it for yourself.

Now normally, itd be kind to let this slide, but its hard to ignore when the iditorial completely contradicts its own ramblings by actually quoting one of the few believable people who work for the paper, fisherman Eddie Riddle, who said sometimes, believe it nor not, people just catch no crabs. Crab pot theft happens less than people would have you believe.Clearly those people who would have you believe that it is rife include the iditor and the beat-up reporter of the original story. Then There Is This From comments during the week. The Magpie From the alleged files: THE TOWNSVILLE BULLETIN ALLEGEDLY ACCUSES THE POLICE OF PLANTING EVIDENCE.

So they allegedly found a shotgun, unequivocally meaning there is some doubt in terms of English, the paper means the cops could be lying and they didnt find a shotgun or else, leaving open the possibility that they planted it there and didnt find it. FFS they either did or did not find a shotgun, and if it comes down to who to believe the Bulletin or the police its no contest. The coppers should complain. And anyway, saying they found the weapon is not legally dangerous and so attract an allegedly , since no names or details of the arrested man are published. During the coming year, The Pie will be running an alleged file from the Astonisher, along with an iconic file the paper has already made a sterling start on that one. This from comments on Friday. The Magpie January 4, 2019 at 11:24 am(Edit) Had a bit of an amused warble and added this to The Pies iconic list.

Iconic is something that is immediately recognisable, usually unique, and with which one readily associates with a name, place or occupation. The Eiffel Tower is iconic, as is the Statue of Liberty, Big Ben, the Kabba in Mecca, the Golden gate Bridge, and closer to home, the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Now alas with this local departure, down south, all the front bar chat and dinner party braying will be along the lines of Townsville? Wasnt that the Sizzler place until a while back? Oh, the shame. Keeping an eye on legendary, too. A Bigger Laugh From The Big Bash Crickets bumbling sandpaper cheat Cameron Bancroft returned to the crease this week in the Big Bash league, and the commentators were so busy tip-toeing around that elephant in the room, they managed to miss a wonderful howler made by their producer.

The commentators, all ex-sporting boofs, so not much could be expected of them, unquestioningly rabbited on about Bancrofts personal attainments, especially that last one. Returned to Tame Impala as their kazoo player? They didn;t dare question the truth of the matter, but they did have a rare old yukity-yuk about it. The producer had unwittingly copied and pasted this bit of nonsense lifted from a story that was doing the rounds, and had originated guess where? The Betoota Advocate, Australias funniest satirical paper. And for the record, Bancroft has never been in the band Tame Impaler, which has never featured a kazoo player anyway. The Pie is wondering, given Bancrofts infamous South African venture, if Bunnings might not offer sponsorship. And Now Off To The Week In Trumpistan and its wall-eyed child President.

. Thats it forn this week, and the silly season is coming to a close (not that you could tell at any time from our august organ of Flinders Street West), and some very interesting snippets have been dropping into the Nest for future examination. Wer will start on them next wee, but comments are running around the clock, so have your say. And any support by way of donation for the efforts over the coming year will as always be greatly appreciated. He how to donate button is below. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/doing-a-little-with-a-lot-move-over-jesus-your-loaves-and-fishes-stunt-aint-in-it-against-the-townsville-bulletin/

[n-ph]

2k16

wow it’s been awhile since i’ve written one of these. i just realized that i totally didn’t write one last year. anyway i dont even know where to begin. 2016 has been an interesting year to say the least. i was rereading some of my old posts and i said omg a lot. the days just seem to go by in a blur nowadays, so i will try to recap 2016 as best as i can. i dont have a word to encompass this year though.

went to seattle in january. tried some really expensive sushi..twice..holy crap. the quality was a1 but man the bill was something else. seattle was nice though. definitely had a san francisco vibe to it, except for when you go to the waterside and look back at all the construction. i guess we kinda ran out of things to do bc on the last day we went to chinatown and the area seemed really dinky. also gained a ton of weight in seattle though u_u

in february we tried 5a5 steakhouse. and let me tell u. it is the best beef i have ever had. it is also the most money i have ever spent on a single meal. oh my god. i dont know if i'll ever be back, but i would like to, some day.

thus far, the semester was pretty okay. let's see..i had government accounting with a moody professor who would throw tantrums whenever no one participated. i also had business law with this old guy who was really lively and fun. i had strategic management with a bryan cranston look alike. the class was really interesting though and i learned a lot and it got me started on reading the economist lmao im so old. i miss having so much free time that came with school. 40 hour work weeks are not the life (even if i barely do anything at work).

went to LA during spring break. and at a good time too bc it was still the soft opening of harry potter world so the lines were v manageable. butterbeer was dope. the entire hogsmeade village just felt so real. had sooo much good food in LA omg. got to see some friends as well. had some of the best steak frites ever.

i cant believe i particpated in asu's talent show this year. much has changed in asu since i joined. it makes me wonder if i was behaving that way when i first joined. it seems a lot more clique-y and high school and drama filled but hey maybe it was that way when i was active but i just never noticed. had many fun lunches with my grand little but man there is a lot of drama in asu and im just glad i wasnt in any of it. i kinda miss the old asu days of staying out late to eat or do nothing at all but also i dont miss it bc i get enough sleep and im a lot more productive without asu lmao. finally ended things with tram for good. maybe things turned out the way they did for the better. the entire friendship was such a roller coaster. im glad its over.

the end of the semester rolled around!!! and i graduated!!!! :') attended my sisters graduation which was pretty boring bc high school students have such a narrow view of life (not to say that college students are any better). attended my own graduation. felt really fortunate to have jessa and anthony there. this one kid in my graudating class gave a speech about accomplishments...and he revealed the wrestling belt he was wearing underneath his graduation gown...and then he made the grads stand up and chant thank yous to the friends and family sitting behind us. it was so embarrassing and extra omg.

shortly after graduation i was on a plane headed back to the motherland. and let me tell u. i hated most of it. it was super hot and humid and my sister and i shared about 100 mosquito bites between the both of us. also. i know i shouldnt but..vietnam is so dirty. i know its not their fault that theyre a developing country but man there are exactly zero sanitation standards and i dont even know why we were there bc the water had recently been polluted so none of the fish were edible and my mom didnt trust the food stands to have clean food either. i guess i made some new friends and visited some cool places but at what cost??? also i think my entire fam got sick bc we slept with the ac on but either way, the meds i took made me lose my sense of smell i think and i couldnt taste or smell anything for two weeks. the ac air also dried out my nose and gave me a skin infection (which i will discuss later). during our trip to danang a small ferry got flipped on the big river and a bunch of ppl died and the government tried to cover it up bc bad publicity etc. they played it off as if only a few ppl died rather than most of the ppl on the boat. our tour guide in danang was in the know tho so he told us everything and w o w that really could've been us on that river bc it was a boat the left the dock about half an hour after our boat left. crazy.

after the long and arduous journey abroad i finally made it back home...and then headed to hawaii. hawaii was dope af. 10/10 would recommend, would go back. battled the tides when we went kayaking and sadly the tides won and i lost my hat but also almost lost my flip flops if it weren't for some kind random strangers who swam out to get my flip flops. we stayed on oahu and maui. hiked up a v steep mountain in oahu. lost my hat from kayaking. got caught in the rain when we went looking for a beach on the first day. had some of the best shaved ice ever. attended my first luau. fell asleep during the first part of a fire dancing show (bc the fire hadnt started yet). essentially pulled an all nighter to try oahu's famous bakery that opened at 3am. flew to maui but due to poor planning we arrived 4 hours earlier than check in lmao. the house we had in maui was so beautiful though omg. it was ocean side so we could hear the waves every night and it just felt so peaceful and tranquil to sit on the balcony in the mornings, just staring out at sea. in maui we went snorkeling. the last time i went snorkeling was like...10+ years ago...in cancun...and the water was freezing...and i also thought i was lost in the middle of the ocean on our way to the snorkeling location... but anyway! the snorkeling this time was so cool omg they had prescription swimming goggles so i could see EVERYTHING. they also provided lunch which was dope. it started raining on our way back to shore though lmao. the next day we drove all the way up the volcano in maui...to find that the top was foggy af and we couldnt see anything. the road up was pretty nasty bc super windy and 10000 ft elevation. it got really foggy after like 6000ft so we basically drove in all fog until the top which was still foggy but also like 20 degrees colder than the rest of maui. maui is super rural omg. we tried to find a place to eat after our trek but there were barely any food places in sight. we picked a random spot in the middle of nowhere and then decided to take the road to hana (which is on the opposite side of where we were staying, and was about 3 hrs away. and boy did we mess up. we took the alternate road there and it was scarier than going up the volcano bc 1) windy 2) small ass roads which were unpaved at certain points and 3) cliff hugging roads..i cant believe i made the drive there and back it was so terrifying omg. not sure if i would go back. at one point there was a big ass cow in the middle of the road. once we got to hana though, the hike was really nice despite the humidity. almost died crossing the river at the end to see the waterfall. all the rocks had big ants on them!!! how was i supposed to cross the river!!! we missed out on the wading pools though but we were so starving by that time. made the 3 hr drive back and everyone was dead. spent the last day on maui not doing much bc rainy and we were all so dead.

about two weeks after i got back from hawaii was training week in sac for my first big girl job. ngl but i felt super homesick that first night. idk why since i would be home by the end of the week anyway. probably just overwhelmed by how fast everything was happening. graduation and now transitioning into a full time job. scary stuff. but i did make a really good friend in sac so it didnt turn out so bad!!! training was pretty fun bc our presenter was pretty engaging. except when we went over the boring stuff and i was v close to falling asleep. did get to catch up with some of my sac friends though which was nice. went to the state fair for the first time as well. it was..exactly as expected but hotter lmao. my family went to san diego at this time bc my sister was going to comic con but i couldnt make it :(

got back from training and started my first big girl job. im not sure what i expected but it was easy but also hard? my first engagement i was only with one other senior and she was super nice and pretty and really good at lettering. i dont feel like i learned much? i only really did the tasks given to me but i feel like half the time i wasnt even sure what i was doing. i also hated the commute all the way back from walnut creek. the going there wasnt so bad bc i got a ride out to oakland but man it would take forever to get home. :'( my second engagement was just me and a partner and i feel like she expected me to know everything...but i didnt know anything...so i mostly sat around a lot??? esp bc she wasnt on site every day so i had zero supervision. :/ towards the end of the second engagement i got an email from the city saying that they were accepting me into their accounting position and i was like oh shit. i ended up taking the job, which gave me a week in between quitting the first job and starting the second, which i used to go back to LA lmao bc i had a season ticket to universal. actually ate at the three broomsticks this time. it was defs filling and i thought it was a good bang for buck. attempted to go to the walking dead tour..chickened out..twice. i probs would've died in there tbh. also went to disneyland!!!! that was lit. their macone-roni and cheese was da bomb. saw world of color for the first time except it was the 50th anniversary edition so it wasnt so great. bumped into the couple that was in jbieb's love yourself video. tried some new food places in LA and saw some old friends, again.

started my second big girl job. all my coworkers are super nice except the big boss is kind of crazy and anal. but we deal with it. my supervisor is so nice :'( work isnt so bad bc i dont do much lmao. the hardest part sometimes is just staying awake if im being honest. getting paid to do nothing is the life tho.

spent my birthday weekend in monterey. we were supposed to go atv-ing but ended up going wine tasting but also not really bc we liked the first wine so much we got a bottle of that to share. it was really cold that weekend surprisingly so we stayed in and then went to this spa place on a whim and it was definitely an interesting experience.

went as a rice bag for halloween and i think that was probably my greatest costume to date. except we ended up going to a party full of white ppl...and i was like the only asian there gdi

tagged along w my sister when she went to sd. got to see many friends!!! went clubbing as well and that was lit. took michelle clubbing for her 21st birthday, also lit. squadsgiving and christmas were super fun. got some supplies for bullet journaling so guess thatll be my new years resolution. but also to take more photos bc i didnt buy that camera for nothing.

okay so in conclusion. i did a lot of stuff this year. it feels like it was mostly all highs. or maybe i just block out the lows but im pretty sure there were way more highs than lows. 2016 was a great year tbh. oh yeah i also passed two of four parts of my cpa exam!!! woot. in 2016, i learned a lot...of accounting lmao. plus i ran my first 5k!!!!! oh yeah and i joined a gym and now im getting swole af. im not sure what my reflections are. i guess, if i were to compare 2k16 kim to 2k14 kim i've for sure come a long ways. i wasnt afraid to try new challenges and conquer them. i stepped out of my comfort zone multiple times, sometimes with the help of alcohol. i got my shit together and really focused in school (which got me a 4.0 during my last year of college). i also got my shit together and studied my ass off for the cpa (which is still ongoing i crey). i really wanna say this was probably one of my best years with everything i was able to do and everything i achieved. so here's to you, 2016, and may 2017 be even better!!!

[writingguide003-blog]

How Nell Scovell survived male-dominated TV writers' rooms

New Post has been published on https://writingguideto.com/must-see/how-nell-scovell-survived-male-dominated-tv-writers-rooms/

How Nell Scovell survived male-dominated TV writers' rooms

She worked on everything from The Simpsons to Charmed and encountered casting couches, bigotry and bullying along the way

Nell Scovell has a lot to teach the next generation of TV writers: how to break the ice on a new set by cracking your dirtiest joke, how writing the episode of The Simpsons where Homer eats a deadly blowfish allowed her comedy to get serious, how she screwed up hiring on the first season of Sabrina the Teenage Witch, and how to select used film studio furniture thats less likely to be covered in bodily fluids. (Answer: pick floral fabric, not leather.) Yes, the casting couch is real which, as Scovell writes in her new memoir Just the Funny Parts, is a cutesy name that sounds a lot better than rape sofa and yes, early in her career, the head writer of variety show The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour aggressively maneuvered her on one, commanding her not to muss his toupee.

Its a startling anecdote, and perfectly timed to todays #MeToo movement and our global conversation about women in the workplace, especially as Scovell also penned Rose McGowans first season on Charmed and co-wrote Sheryl Sandbergs bestseller Lean In. Im a little sad that they actually came up with the metaphor of waves for feminism, says Scovell on the phone from Los Angeles. By definition, a wave goes in and it comes out. I would really like it to be a tsunami that creates a flood that forever changes the landscape.

In the pages leading up to the violation, Scovell, the only woman writing for the Smothers Brothers, already loathes this misogynist who cut her out of meetings by hosting boys-only parties for the rest of the male staff. Their sole encounter is confusing, cold, unwanted and quick, and when its over, Scovell is fired. But even at the time, she was able to take control of the trauma by reframing the beats into a bleak joke, and when she recounts it today, Scovell gets to write the brutal punchline. She never saw that boss again, and probably never will, since I dont get to Branson, Missouri, much.

Nell Scovell in 1972. Photograph: Courtesy of the author

If women could sleep their way to the top, thered be a lot more women at the top, quotes Scovell. That one-liner belongs to Gloria Steinem funny women come in all forms. And comedy writers should come in all forms. The talents who inspired Scovell ranged from the maniacal Groucho Marx and absurdist Albert Brooks to dazzling Myrna Loy and deadpan Jane Curtin. Beams Scovell: I was pretty strait-laced, so Jane Curtin showed me you could be very professional and funny at the same time.

That her heroes were all also white is a struggle Scovell sees with clear eyes, critiquing herself sharply in the book for not hiring more comedians of color in the mid-90s when she became a showrunner. Later, while assembling another female-led show, Scovell catches herself worrying that the five female actors in the cast would get into on-set catfights a stereotype that couldnt have been more wrong. Sighs Scovell: Were all biased, were all raised in this culture.

You want a diverse writers room not because its the fair thing to do, or the right thing to do, but because its the best thing to do for your show, says Scovell. Ive seen that to be true.

The Coach writing staff. Photograph: Courtesy of the author

Yet, for much of her TV career, shes been the only woman in the room. She used to twist her isolation into a compliment. Rarity meant she was exceptional. Later, she realized that she also just fit the mold as a white, straight, Ivy League-educated jock whod covered sports for the Harvard Crimson. Plus, as she writes, People say, Dress for the job you want, and since I wanted a job that guys had, I dressed like a guy.

Still, laughs Scovell, while her unathletic male friends grumbled about their agents dragging them to hockey games, she never got invited to a single match. Instead, she praises Penn Jillette for welcoming her to join a group adventure to an X-rated strip show.

Let someone make their own choice about what makes them feel comfortable, says Scovell. I always say, Im your colleague, not your wife you can say the craziest things in front of me. She was glad the California supreme court judged that certain types of crass jokes on the set of Friends did not qualify as sexual harassment.

We need appropriate behavior, but also not to think the way to get to that is by having no behavior at all, says Scovell. Otherwise, both men and women are locked into an unhealthy gender dynamic that eventually marginalizes women and comedy.

Nell Scovell. Photograph: PR

She saw that play out during the Bill Clinton scandal when men became self-conscious about being alone with women in the office. Shes seeing it again with Mike Pence and his dumb rule. And she lived it herself as a young late-night writer when she avoided speaking to David Letterman in fear her colleagues would think she was trying to flirt her way to becoming one of Daves Girls. Lettermans dalliances with employees were an open secret for decades after she quit and eventually resulted in the host being blackmailed and investigated for creating a hostile workplace environment, though the network ultimately concluded there was no wrongdoing. Of that power dynamic, Scovell calls Letterman the bully who makes you punch him. Later, when Lean In became a hit, she sent him a copy in Finnish with a teasing inscription that hed never read it anyway.

Since then, Scovell has gone on to write gags for everyone from Barack Obama (Johnny Carsons timing), Hillary Clinton (She does self-depreciation beautifully) and Mark Zuckerberg, the embattled Facebook CEO who could stand to win friends with a good quip. Does she have any he could use? Laughs Scovell, Im not touching that question! Like every entertainment career, public success has been matched by private setbacks rejected jokes, harsh script notes, canceled pilots and inJust the Funny Parts, she drags her flubs into the spotlight, printing a list of every project shes worked on so aspiring writers can see an honest percentage of hits to failures, along with full pages of sitcom drafts with her boss criticisms scribbled in the margins.

Her hurdles are oddly encouraging. So is her harshest piece of advice: dont follow your dreams, follow your talent. Thats like the meanest thing you could say to a high school student, says Scovell. But its true. Shes learned firsthand that sometimes a show works better when you pause the comedy and allow people to get real, citing what she calls the tuna fish sandwich moment on the Mary Tyler Moore Show when Mary and Rhoda would have a quiet beat to establish their friendship before the story hurtled them into chaos.

I think empathy is undervalued in a lot of these comedy writers rooms, says Scovell. And in the culture, too. In that spirit, she sent Letterman a copy of Just the Funny Parts in English. Im sure he has not read it, says Scovell. But he sent me back a lovely thank you note.

Just the Funny Parts is out now in the US and will be released in the UK on 3 May

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us

[icantbelizethat]

Week 1 part 2

Thursday, 5/18- This was the earliest day we had and I definitely stayed up way too late the night before, which I do not advise, but its interesting how easily I found myself eating and staying focused throughout the day. Normally when I’m tired, I cannot eat breakfast and my attention span is less than a fish’s, but I think having the instructors herd us around and tell us whats going on, and having the content being so interesting, made me shovel food down when I got the opportunity to and kept me wide eyed and ready. We went to Belize’s Central Farm, where they have dairy cows and breeding operations for goats and sheep. We had to be at the farm by 530am so we could be there to watch, and help, the farmer milk the cows, which were the only holsteins I saw in the country yet. For getting up at 4am, I was extremely disappointed when all we did was slap some disinfectant on the utters and then put vacuum tubes up to them, which even attached themselves via suction. I was disappointed it was so easy and minimal for us, but at the end we got an opportunity to hand milk the cow and that was a great experience. I was upset about how this went but its the reality now, milking is rarely done by hand so it is not practical to be taught about the large animal industry in that context. We also got the opportunity to feed a calf, which was the funniest thing ever. The farmer filled a big metal bucket up with milk, and at the bottom of the bucket was a giant plastic utter that the baby would run up to and lick a little before cautiously running away. After feeding the calf, we finally went back to Midas for breakfast at 730 and then turned right back around for the best part, AI AND PALPATIONS! The fun began when we got back to the farm. We went to work on the brahman crossbred herd across the way from the dairy cattle. They had the cattle herd into a single file line and trapped them one by one in “the shoot” to restrict their movement and make it easy to work with them. This is where the fun started. The farm instructor stuck on his should-high glove, lubed it up, and went straight into the first poor girls rectum and cleared the poop out to palpate her cervix through the tissue. Once he found it, it was our turn to dive in. Fortunately for the cows, only 3 or 4 people got a chance to work with each cow. I’ve been descriptive enough so I’ll save the details on when it was my turn, but I will say I was surprised by how different rectums are even from breed to breed of cows. After we all got a turn with the instructor telling us where exactly the cervix was, we got another round of palpations and had to find the cervix on our own. That was hard and I know large animal AI is definitely not in my future. The best way to describe this experience is “not positive or negative, but interesting” as I was telling the other group that were going to go to the dairy farm a couple days later. After the palpations, we knew we had another bat trapping session but since the work day started so early and the bat trapping occurred after dark, we had to fill some time. We decided to go to the Green Iguana Sanctuary. This was an awesome experience and I definitely recommend going to it, the picture of the iguana biting my face (thats not a kiss, there was a little blood after) was taken there. This iguana was extra special, she has an overbite and is known for her giving licks, but apparently if your body wash has palm oil, she goes in for a little nibble, since it is their main food source in Belize. We walked into their enclosure and it was crazy, there was 1 iguana, and then 3, and then 20 just everywhere. It was almost unnerving trying to not step on their tails. After we met them all and walked around a little bit, they brought leaves in for us to feed them and that was crazy. They swarmed to anyone that had leaves. The last girl in my group that had leaves had 20 iguanas sitting around her trying to get the last of her leaves. I definitely recommend future CELA students to go there when they get the time. After the iguanas we went on another bat trapping trip. This one wasn’t as exciting. We did not go as far out into the middle of nowhere, there was a lot of light pollution so we couldnt see the stars and we didnt catch a single bat. It was nice though because this was at Whistling Duck Farms where we did the horse physicals so we weren’t with Mennonites and we were allowed to get comfortable. We spent the time chilling in a veranda hanging on hammocks and talking with Dr. T. The alternative to bat trapping was spending money at the bar so I was happier going there.

Friday, 5/19- The last day of week one, and definitely the most exciting. Both groups met back up to do one large practical, and it was definitely necessary. We went to a farm basically on the boarder of Guatemala and had to vaccinate over 200 cows. It was hot and there was very little shade and these cows DID NOT like being herded down the shoot. At one point, we had a 3 cow high pile up. At another point, we had probably 4 cows stuck under the line of cows and then when we released them a calf got TRAMPLED. We all stood there with gaping jaws ready for the calf to be in pieces. Fortunately it got up and walked away with almost no limp. As all of this was happening, one of the girls on the program has a heart condition and she was suffering horribly out there. She passed out and we had to pull a row of seats out from the van so she could lay out in the shade. She kept saying she was fine and that she didnt need to go home, so none of our supervisors thought to drive her back, but all the girls and myself started bugging. The picture of all the girls leaning over the fence and giving shots happened after Kristen passed out, everyone got into high gear and we were running around everywhere. I'm sure it was the fastest they've ever seen students vaccinate 200 cows. It was easily one of the most exhilarating experiences of my career and left me feeling very accomplished. At one point I had to jump over the shoot and be inside the pen so I could vaccinate calves that were too small and far to reach from our side, I felt professional. After the practical we went back to Midas and all took a shower. On the bartenders suggestion we checked out another restaurant and then hit up a couple bars in town for the first time. One of the bartenders at Midas we made friends with took us out and I definitely recommend doing that if you want to go out here. Midas has a great bar but if you're used to going to bars at home, its nice to see the local bar culture, and the bartenders at Midas are very friendly and they make sure you're safe when you go out. Still, it was an early night for us because the weekend was going to be jam packed!

[sweetlifetownsville]

Doing A Little With A Lot: Move Over Jesus, Your Loaves And Fishes Stunt Ain't In It Against The Townsville Bulletin.

The good old Astonisher showed its going to be more of the same in 2019, sleight of hand, selective reporting and all manner of insulting idiocy same old, same including a spectacular miss this weekend not a word about one of Townsville most long standing favourite eateries bites the dust Michels On Palmer Street is no more. Bancroft boo-boo Channel 7 embraces fake news: so lacking in a sense of the ridiculous, theyre about to disappear up their own ummm kazoo. And the President turns on the pester-power: Trump throws the biggest and longest tanty in living memory ruining the holiday season for thousands of his own people. But first For those many people who have been inquiring about Mark Donnellys funeral in Cairns, it will be at 2pm Wednesday Jan 9th, at St Francis Church, Mayer Street, Cairns. Vale, mate Moving On Its climate change on Bentleys mind. Our toonist is originally a Croweater from Adelaide, and he was amazed to see the jam packed crowds on Adelaide beaches in a TV report about the ghastly weather theyre having over there. The Pie also recalls that during his time in the City of Churches, beach-going was an occasional thing and attracted only sparse crowds to the sandy shores. But Bentley believes climate change is rapidly altering time honoured Aussie pastimes, and soon, getting an all-over tan will be a thing of the past.

Speaking of Things Of The Past

This now sadly includes the much loved Michels restaurant in Palmer Street, which served its last mean on December 22nd. This is how the unexpected news was broken on FB.

It will be sorely missed by many, including The Pie, who just hung out for the lunch-time beef and burgundy pie. Ironic that the one time our local paper had the opportunity to use the word iconic almost correctly, it has completely missed this information which would be of far more interest than the iconic Sizzlers leaving town. (More on that shortly). Well That Didnt Take Long Did It? The Townsville Bulletin set the tone for the year on the very first day of 2019, Tuesday January 1, with a rib-tickling own goal with this front page.

Wow, all those people turning up for a pic, where did they all come from? Well, at least half of them from nowhere. Heres how this little piece of patronizing chicanery went down. First, a couple of weeks ago, this appeared on the Astonishers FB page.

Boy, be on the front page! And didnt that get them flocking in for their 15 minutes of fame not. Just 41 people made themselves available, including the Cowboys mascot and as many of the Bulletins staff who could be spared to avoid the embarrassment of attracting almost bugger interest.

Then the front page appeared, a cheesy tedious old trope of people spelling out the year. Many people more than 41, it would seem. But hang on, lets have a closer look.

Whats all this? This is what all this is.

fair to say that all those excited people were beside themselves behind themselves, and then in front of themselves. Now a while back, the flagship of News Corpse tabloids, Sydneys Daily Telegraph got a clip arround its corporate ears for photo-shopping pics of politicians in unflattering historical situations. As if we needed to be told that Kevin Rudd was a nazi! Pretending to be chastised, management decreed that in future, just so no one was misled, all photoshopped images in all News publications would carry the legend digitally altered.Someone at the Astonisher overlooked this, clearly wishing the few readers it has left would believe it was so widely popular that it had attracted a throng of NY well-wishers. but it seems someone suddenly realised that some arsesole like The Magpie maybe would tumble to the lie, so thinking they could squirm out of it, they really blew their foot off by belatedly posting this on their FB page. The Pie has asked before, and now asks again are they all bloody drunk down there? BTW, the relevant FB page is said to have attracted 4500 views which at a guess that would be comprised of 4458 editorial and advertising staff and their family and friends frantically revisiting the FB as often as they could. At least that was the drill when The Pie was taking Ruperts shilling. But Wait, Theres More The firsts for the year kept coming thick and fast. This story had people wondering if the paper had a cut-price Tardis operating

and that resulted in the first correction of the year.

Although it is quite possible that Messagebank Walker, send out last years media release, and true to form, the reporter just wrote it up with a thought of what it was actually saying. f they would know the difference. Another media release that went into the paper untouched and of course unquestioned could have been headlined Mission Impossible.

Hahahahaah gasp snurffle dont you just love the combination of casual impertinence and immeasurable benchmark of making Townsville Australias first mentally healthy city. This is pure Labor crackpottery at its best, and a great excuse to wring out a few more public dollars for pointless jobs for the boys and girls. Mentally healthy City steering committee? National leader in this field? Pray tell, just how is this going to be measured oh, wait, I know soon it will be announced that we have achieved the title of Australias mentally healthiest city, but we cant be told why or any details because of both privacy and Commercial in Confidence reasons. What an out and out rort. The Townsville City Council has no business stumping up a single cent for this totally obscure nonsense. And youve just gotta love that this call for a mentally healthy city is coming from one of the greatest rates-gouging, anxiety-creating, booze-binge inducing ineptocracies of posturing inadequates one couldnt create as fiction.

And all publicised in a paper that has long abrogated its traditional responsibilities in the interests bargain-basement kiddy journalism and a quick advertising quid (and hows that working for you, eh?) Yet Another Jarring Juxtaposition And it would appear that either no one checks advertising content against news content to avoid this sort of blundering idiocy.

But never mind, iditor Jenna Cairney knows how to thunder away about the really important issues affecting us during the week, it was oh, dear it was people who oh, The Pie cannot bear to utter the words, read it for yourself.

Now normally, itd be kind to let this slide, but its hard to ignore when the iditorial completely contradicts its own ramblings by actually quoting one of the few believable people who work for the paper, fisherman Eddie Riddle, who said sometimes, believe it nor not, people just catch no crabs. Crab pot theft happens less than people would have you believe.Clearly those people who would have you believe that it is rife include the iditor and the beat-up reporter of the original story. Then There Is This From comments during the week. The Magpie From the alleged files: THE TOWNSVILLE BULLETIN ALLEGEDLY ACCUSES THE POLICE OF PLANTING EVIDENCE.

So they allegedly found a shotgun, unequivocally meaning there is some doubt in terms of English, the paper means the cops could be lying and they didnt find a shotgun or else, leaving open the possibility that they planted it there and didnt find it. FFS they either did or did not find a shotgun, and if it comes down to who to believe the Bulletin or the police its no contest. The coppers should complain. And anyway, saying they found the weapon is not legally dangerous and so attract an allegedly , since no names or details of the arrested man are published. During the coming year, The Pie will be running an alleged file from the Astonisher, along with an iconic file the paper has already made a sterling start on that one. This from comments on Friday. The Magpie January 4, 2019 at 11:24 am(Edit) Had a bit of an amused warble and added this to The Pies iconic list.

Iconic is something that is immediately recognisable, usually unique, and with which one readily associates with a name, place or occupation. The Eiffel Tower is iconic, as is the Statue of Liberty, Big Ben, the Kabba in Mecca, the Golden gate Bridge, and closer to home, the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Now alas with this local departure, down south, all the front bar chat and dinner party braying will be along the lines of Townsville? Wasnt that the Sizzler place until a while back? Oh, the shame. Keeping an eye on legendary, too. A Bigger Laugh From The Big Bash Crickets bumbling sandpaper cheat Cameron Bancroft returned to the crease this week in the Big Bash league, and the commentators were so busy tip-toeing around that elephant in the room, they managed to miss a wonderful howler made by their producer.

The commentators, all ex-sporting boofs, so not much could be expected of them, unquestioningly rabbited on about Bancrofts personal attainments, especially that last one. Returned to Tame Impala as their kazoo player? They didn;t dare question the truth of the matter, but they did have a rare old yukity-yuk about it. The producer had unwittingly copied and pasted this bit of nonsense lifted from a story that was doing the rounds, and had originated guess where? The Betoota Advocate, Australias funniest satirical paper. And for the record, Bancroft has never been in the band Tame Impaler, which has never featured a kazoo player anyway. The Pie is wondering, given Bancrofts infamous South African venture, if Bunnings might not offer sponsorship. And Now Off To The Week In Trumpistan and its wall-eyed child President.

. Thats it forn this week, and the silly season is coming to a close (not that you could tell at any time from our august organ of Flinders Street West), and some very interesting snippets have been dropping into the Nest for future examination. Wer will start on them next wee, but comments are running around the clock, so have your say. And any support by way of donation for the efforts over the coming year will as always be greatly appreciated. He how to donate button is below. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/doing-a-little-with-a-lot-move-over-jesus-your-loaves-and-fishes-stunt-aint-in-it-against-the-townsville-bulletin/