#yet I guess I'm not in the best state to do that which might result in me talking nonsense ....

[haru-chi]

-a bit Manga Spoiler ahead-

The more I think about it the more I just don't know what to feel about doing Miharu's arc before doing an extended hand story ><

tbh I feared them doing that and was talking about this with a friend before the Miharu's arc preview even dropped but since they did a pretty good job so far this season unlike the past two, I wanted to have faith ...

maybe it's fine to do it after which would result in different reaction yet reach the same end plus it's up to oneself to decide how to perceive something ...

personally speaking, I don't want Miharu's arc before the extended hand story ... for me it won't hit the same ...

don't get me wrong ... be it I saw it before or after I know Miharu's arc will always be special to me ...

but you know, being "special" hold different kind of meaning ... the Miharu's arc being "special" without an extended hand prior knowledge will be different than it being "special" with that knowledge beforehand .... it won't be same for me ... the experience will be different .. the reaction will be different ... I don't know if I make any sense but don't know how to explain it well enough ><

I'm not only talking about how Seiji's reaction is different in both stories when Natori offered him help .. nor am I talking about how their relationship in it was pretty positive by its end ...

it's something more than just those ...

a glimpse at Seiji's family burden

Seiji's sad wish of wanting a Shiki

Natori trying to understand him

it's those little details, those unspoken things that change your view of characters and character's reaction in stories ...

that's why when you read/watch Miharu's arc with this knowledge it makes it so different ... everything is just so different since Miharu's arc expand on those same ideas while adding more .. this same burden .. this same sad wish .. this same delicate and complicated relationship between Seiji and Natori ...

Miharu's arc something too special for me, that it felt unreal to have sometimes ... but I don't think it would've been so without an extended hand story ..

as I said it would've been still special even without it but wouldn't be the same kind of special :)

also, I guess the questions and mystery would've been different in a way too by the end of it or throughout the story ...

I know cuz what I asked about and was killing myself to know throughout Miharu's arc was questions I wouldn't have asked nor considered if I didn't know an extended hand beforehand ^^

anyway, in the end since the anime team decided to change the order of events, I hope Manga reader don't ruin anything for anime-only or spoil an extended hand for them for the sake of Miharu's arc (surely the anime will adapt it) or make them feel they're missing something out if they didn't ask for it themselves ...

let them live and enjoy their own type of experience and memories while we watch over them silently ^^

I'm only sharing my view and emotions regarding the matter since I can't deny I'm a bit sad since I wanted my friend to live through the same experience as close as possible but oh well ...

[olivianyx]

OMGG I JUST GOT RESULTS WITHOUT BEATING MYSELF UP WITH ROUTINES 😭 + RANT ✨

HEYY LUVS! I JUST WANNA SHARE MY RESULTS I MANIFESTED WITHIN 2-3 DAYS! THIS YEAR'S GONNA BE MY BEST YEAR Y'ALL ✋AND GUESS WHAT I DID? NOTHING. LITERALLY NOTHING. NUH-UH. PERIODT.

⚠ LONG POST AHEAD, SWEARING ⚠

WHAT I MANIFESTED:

🪄 PASSING MY FRESHMAN YEAR WITH HIGH SCORES

🪄 MY FAMILY BOUGHT A NEW APARTMENT WHICH WERE PREPARING TO MOVE IN 3 WEEKS

🪄 ME GETTING INTO THE VOID STATE 😭 AND MANIFESTED CLEAR SKIN! (DAYUM GETTING INTO THE VOID IS DEFO VERY EASY OMGG)

🪄 GETTING LESS ANXIOUS LATELY!

🪄 MY GASTRITIS AND ULCERITIS GETTING CURED

🪄 GETTING MORE COMPLIMENTS IN MY UNI!

🪄 GETTING TALLER! I WENT FROM 5'3" TO 5'7" IN 2 DAYS 😭😭

🪄 GETTING DREAMS OF ME SHIFTING TO MY WR 🥺 (ACTUALLY RESPAWNING LOL, AS THIS THING IS REALLY CONTROVERSIAL IN HERE, PLEASE DON'T GET ME CANCELLED- I'M DOING DEATHLESS RESPAWNING ✋)

🪄 MY MIND IS SURPRISINGLY CALM 😌 THERE'S STILL INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS THO (THOSE ARE ANNOYING ASS BITCHES) BUT I JUST IGNORE EM LIKE I IGNORE PEOPLE AT SCHOOL 🗿

🪄 GOT MANY CONFESSIONS TOO 😭 AND I REJECTED EM ALL, CUS I JUST WANT TO BE SINGLE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE ✋🗿 JK

🪄 GETTING COOL CLOTHES THAT MY MOM DENIED A LOTTA TIMES! (ACTUALLY I'VE ORDERED EM BUT STILL HAVEN'T SHIPPED TO MY ADDRESS YET LOL)

🪄 MY CRUSH BECOMING CLOSE TO ME HEHE 🤭 LIKE SHE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ME MUCH, BUT LATELY SHE'S BEEN TOO CLOSE TO ME AND ALWAYS WANNA BE WITH ME LOL, 3 DAYS BACK SHE AND I WALKED HOME TOGETHER, WHILE WE GRABBED SOME SNACKS, SPOKE ABT EACH OTHER AND ALL (I FELT LIKE BEING IN A SHOUJO MANGA 😩)

🪄 A NEW PHONE! THAT SAMSUNG GALAXY S22 😩

I MANIFESTED EVERYTHING WITHIN 3 DAYS 😭 I REALLY CAN'T BELIEVE MY EYES, JUST. 3. FUCKING. DAYS. GODDAMMIT.

HOW I DID IT:

JUST FULFILLED IT IN MY IMAGINATION

YEP, YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT. I LIVED IN THE 4D REALITY, I NEVER GAVE A SHIT ABOUT THE 3D AT ALL. OK LEMME BREAK IT DOWN FOR Y'ALL SO JUST PAY ATTENTION FROM HERE ONWARDS.

🪄 SUPPOSE SOMETHING UNDESIRABLE OR UNFAVORABLE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE HAPPENING IN YOUR 3D. WHO'S THE CAUSE FOR THAT? YOU. 'BUT I DIDN'T IMAGINE OR THINK OF THESE 😭' BABY, YOU'RE THE SOLE CAUSE, EFFECT, AND THE SOLUTION. THERE'S NO OTHER EXPLANATION TO THIS.

🪄 AS WE ALL KNOW, 3D IS A MIRROR. RIGHT? WHATEVER YOU THINK ABOUT, YOUR ASSUMPTIONS, YOUR THOUGHTS, YOUR FEELINGS, YOUR PERSPECTIVE EVERYTHING WILL BE REFLECTED. SO WHY NOT THINK THE WAY YOU WANT SO YOU CAN EXPERIENCE THE SAME? GET IT.

🪄 IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE THE 3D, CHANGE YOUR 4D FIRST. CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE TO HOW YOUR DESIRED SELF WOULD SEE THE WORLD. KEEP DWELLING IN IT. IF THE 3D SHOWS UNFAVORABLE CIRCUMSTANCES, DON'T FUCKING GET TRIGGERED. GO BACK TO YOUR IMAGINATION AND DENY YOUR SENSES.

🪄 EVERYTIME YOU SEE SOMETHING ELSE IN THE 3D, GO 'BRUHH THIS IS MY OLD STORY, I ALREADY HAVE WHAT I WANT, THIS IS JUST FAKE' AND MOVE ON. DISTRACT YOURSELF. CUS THE 3D WORLD WHICH YOU SEE IS AN ILLUSION, IT'S NOT REAL. IT'S YOUR CREATION, WHY WOULD YOU TRY TO CONTROL WHAT YOU CREATED? IT'S ALREADY IN CONTROL. YOU ONLY GOTTA REALISE YOUR GODSELF. YOU ARE THE CREATOR, NOT THE CREATION. STOP FUCKING VICTIMIZING YOURSELF.

🪄 I GET IT THAT MOST OF THE PEOPLE ARE CONFUSED BETWEEN LAW OF ASSUMPTION AND NON DUALISM. EVEN I WAS, BUT SLOWLY I REALISED THAT WE'RE ALL NOTHING. WE'RE JUST LIVING IN OUR OWN CREATIONS. VICTIMIZING OURSELVES IN OUR OWN CREATIONS. IRONIC RIGHT?

🪄 THOSE THOUGHTS, ANXIETY, FEELINGS, EMOTIONS ARE ALL IN YOUR PHYSICAL REALM. YOUR MIND, YOUR BODY, YOUR EGO EVERYTHING IS NO REAL, WE ASSUME IT TO BE. WE'RE ARE SHAPELESS, FORMLESS, WE'RE NOTHING! AND EVERYTHING AT THE SAME TIME. CUS EVERYTHING COMES DOWN TO ONE THING, I AM.

🪄 K Y'ALL MIGHT BE SUPER CONFUSED, WHAT I'M TRYNA INFUSE IN YOUR BRAINS. SO WHAT YOU DO IS, LIVE IN YOUR 4D.HOW? IMAGINATION. NO MATTER WHAT YOU SEE IN YOUR 3D, GO BACK TO YOUR IMAGINATION, AFFIRM OR VISUALISE. ANYTHING IS FINE BTW. JUST STAY IN THE STATE OF WISH FULFILLED.

🪄 STOP RELYING ON METHODS, FUCK THEM. JUST BE. DON'T TRY TO CHANGE SOMETHING WHEN YOU ALREADY HAVE THEM. JUST STOP, SURRENDER, STOP FIGHTING, STOP TRYING SO HARD WHEN YOUR ALREADY IT. SO GO LIVE IN YOUR IMAGINATION, FULLY SURRENDER. DO THINGS WHICH YOU LIKE. GO LIVE YOUR LIFE. TAKE YOUR POWER BACK.

LIKE AREN'T YOU TIRED? TRAPPED IN YOUR OWN CREATIONS? YOU CREATED THEM, YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE WHATEVER. TELL ME HOW LONG ARE YOU GONNA LIVE THIS BULLSHIT LIFE? YOU'RE REALLY GETTING COMFORTABLE BEING UNCOMFORTABLE. SO LISTEN UP, DO WHAT YOU LOVE, AFFIRM, VISUALISE, OR DAYDREAM, ZONE OUT, WHATEVER. ALL I DID WAS DO THIS MEDITATION IN THE MORNING, WENT ABOUT MY DAY WATCHING JUJUTSU KAISEN LMAO. THEN RANDOMLY AFFIRM, LIVED IN MY 4D, NEVER PAYED ANY FUCKING ATTENTION TO MY 3D, CUS I'M GOD. I REALLY LOVE VISUALISING, SO I PUT ON A SONG AND START DAYDREAMING IN MY ROOM SMILING LIKE AN IDIOT. ALSO, I DID SATS BEFORE GOING TO BED. THAT'S IT. THAT'S ALL I DID FOR 3 FUCKING DAYS, AND GOT WHAT EVER I WANT. ALSO I MADE A CUSTOM TAPE TOO (IT'S A GENERAL SELF CONCEPT ONE) I LISTENED TO IT FOR 30 MINS AND JUST WENT ABOUT MY DAY THINKING I HAD WHATEVER I FUCKING DESIRE, CUS IT'S ALL MY CREATIONS AND I HAVE IT ALREADY. THERE'S NOTHING TO GET, IT'S ALREADY IN ME.

LUV YOU, BYE 💋

[thewertsearch]

TG: i will be your server TG: and past me will stay as roses server TG: which is to say present me will TG: the one in the black suit GG: ohh… GG: i guess that makes sense TG: he can keep managing her for a while TG: until she sorta checks out soon and becomes totally useless

Rose is already detached from the party, following unseen orders in service of an unseen plan - but according to Dave, she's going to get worse.

This, I assume, is the point at which she becomes obscured from Kanaya's viewport. Rose is going to keep digging this hole, right up until she reaches some critical point on her timeline - and then, if I'm reading correctly between the lines, she's going to fall apart.

Final alchemy session, let's go!

Hey, calm down! Just because it's snowing outside doesn't mean it's Christmas just yet.

We're certainly getting close...

STEP OFF. … You decide he can keep the SORD….. though.

Abandoning your best weapon? A poor tactical decision by the Knight.

TT: Did you do anything on the moon besides rifle through my belongings? TT: Such as remove your shades and turn your gaze Ringward, by any chance? [...] TG: i did TT: What did you see? TG: horrible things [...] TG: when i saw them TG: their voices became clearer TT: What were they saying? TG: i couldnt really focus on anything specific TG: but TG: in totality TG: im pretty sure it was TG: like TT: ? TG: a plea for help

That's a little vague - but then again, they may be so alien to us that they're not able to communicate more clearly. This might be the closest thing to a human-readable message that the Gods can create.

This is probably a good place to put my transcription of the Squiddle song from Jade's nap. Much of it is unintelligible, but the parts we can hear are rather illuminating.

Squiddles are no ordinary friends, they work, and play, and work again. But they have homes, and mommies too; yes, they have mommies just like you.

Firstly, the Squiddles try to explain that they're not completely different from us. They're extraordinary creatures, practically incomprehensible to the Players - and yet, they have a home. They have loved ones. They play.

They repeat this assertion twice, as though they desperately want the Players to understand this.

So let them go to bed right now, so they can rest, and make cute sounds. If they can't rest they won't be strong …and they are really tiny.

They go on to say that they're exhausted. They need to rest, but something is keeping them busy. As a result, they're becoming 'tiny' and weak.

They can't make the 'cute sounds' that they're known for, which I suspect is a metaphor for the advice they normally dispense to Derse Dreamers, but I'm less sure about that.

[Unintelligible] …so let them sleep... …cause they will die if…

At this point, the music begins to fade out - but not before we hear that the Squiddles' lives are in danger. Something out in the depths of space is killing the Noble Circle of Horrorterrors.

Squiddle dee dee, squiddle dee dum. Everyone sing, a Squiddley song. Let's all be friends, And work as a team. Squiddles for you, Squiddles for me.

The final verse is self-explanatory.

It's unclear what, exactly, is happening out in the Furthest Ring, but it's dire enough that the Horrorterrors are reaching out to their neighbors, the Players of Sburb, and asking them to form an alliance.

We're seeing that alliance through Feferi, who has convinced them to blow the Dream Bubbles and link the two sessions. We're also seeing it through Rose, the only human Player willing to listen to the Squiddles' song - but her situation is more murky. I do think I understand her mental state a little better, though.

Rose is acting on Horrorterror advice - which means she's acting on whispers, corrupted images and half-heard fragments of a song. I don't think the Gods are manipulating her so much as they're playing a game of Telephone with her brain. They can't relay direct instructions, so the best they can do is transmit the vibe of what needs to happen, and the Seer has to figure the rest out for herself.

No wonder she's so evasive about her plan - I don't think she understands more than a quarter of it. She isn't nearly as in-control of the situation as she's pretending to be, and if she admits as much to John, she'd probably lose her nerve.

[decrepitdeer]

CSS OC Backstories

I'm going to be concentrating on other stuff and putting these girls on the back burner for a bit, but before I do, I might as well post their backstories here as well!

These are taken directly from my notes, so writing wise these aren't the best, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless <3

Their introduction post

Content and trigger warnings I guess: death, child death (kinda, it gets reversed almost immediately) brief implication of violence, mention of declining mental health??

Mara Dorsey:

Mara was a result of a fling, so her father didn't really stick around. Her mother cut contact with her own family and moved away after Mara was born.

She grew up having a natural fascination with all things creepy. Her mother adored her quirky habits. They had a very good and loving relationship. She even gave Mara an old family heirloom, a necklace with a green stone. Mara was told that it used to belong to a wicked witch. Mara's mother passed away when she was 7 years old, with her mother's family heirloom starting to glow for the first time at her funeral.

There weren't any relatives who could take her in, so she grew up in foster care. The years were tough on her, and Mara didn't have any of her magical abilities yet, so she developed other more violent means to defend herself and others. She has a very intimidating appearance but is still a good person. Mara would often defend and fight for the kids who couldn't do so themselves.

Her anger came out in other ways as well. She had a habit of sneaking to a wrecking yard to hit things with a baseball bat.

Mara had a near death experience in the said wrecking yard, which led her to meet Amari for the first time. She was very frightened when she first saw Amari, the wicked witch from her mother's stories. The old sounding English that she spoke in didn't help much either. After a while of talking, she found out that Amari was actually her ancestor. She offered her a deal. Amari would teach how to unlock her full potential, and Mara would take her as a "passenger" in her head so that she could see more than just her limbo realm. Mara was granted the ability to come back from the dead. She dies, but only temporarily. The second Mara dies, her body starts to heal itself. The more severe the damage, the longer it takes.

After meeting Amari in limbo, Mara started to see her everywhere, but only by her, no one else knows she's there. She also can possess Mara whenever she pleases.

Kibosh was able to sense something off about her and contacted her personally about joining Scare School.

Briar Lovell

Briars family has a generational curse that causes monstrous transformations for those affected. It skips generations, and it's triggered differently depending on the individual. Unfortunately, there hadn't been a case in years, causing Briars parents to be none the wiser.

Briar had a normal life before her puberty hit at around 12 years old. It was filled with your average staples of childhood, with some eerie elements in the mix. Briar has had very good senses since birth and was good in sports. Brair was also fascinated by the paranormal and loved telling scary stories during her sleepovers. But, as stated before, the changes in her body brought about a staggering transformation, heavily linked to her emotions. She was very scared and stressed out during the early days but tried to live a normal life in spite of it, hiding the change from everyone. Being the excitable girl she is, this eventually led to disaster when her emotions spilled over. The following terror and panic didn't help either. She even harmed one of her friends by accident. Her parents only discovered the truth after Briar showed up in her backyard in complete hysterics. Her other claw had blood on it.

In an attempt to protect Briar, her parents hid her away by moving to a more secluded location and forbid her from interacting with others. They also made sure that the area had a lot of wildlife, so that if anyone would see Briar by accident, they would just assume it's a bear or something similar. Briar continued to bottle up her emotions in an attempt to protect those around her. She didn't want a repeat of the previous situation. This took a huge toll on her mental health, but luckily, she had a supportive family that helped her through all of it. Briar also threw herself in her hobbies and studies, which were now done through homeschooling. Things like photography, scrapbooking, and boy bands kept her afloat during this time.

With the support of her family, she got better over time, but true salvation came when a mysterious letter came from somewhere called "Scare School."

Amari Adesanya

Amari's story has been mostly lost to history, only really living on in myths and ghost stories. She was born into a large family in the 1600s, being the oldest daughter. The village she grew up in was your average small religious community with very little room for individuality. Around 15 years of age, she was accused of witchcraft and was "mercifully" banished into the wilderness. Amari was rescued by an older woman in the forest who turned out to be a witch and took Amari under her wing. They lived in peace within the woods, Amari learning witchcraft along the way.

Everything went wrong after the woman was discovered by the villagers and killed on the spot.

This sent Amari over the edge, and she went on a rampage. She laid waste to any settlement she came across, eventually ending up in her original village. During all of this, Amari imagined the spirit of her teacher echoing in her ears, urging her to continue. Amari held seige to the settlement for an entire week before she was killed in action. In her final breath, she cursed all of mankind for their cruelty.

One of her younger siblings took her necklace off of her body, not knowing that it now included her spirit.

Centuries went by as Amari waited in limbo. Her violent and vengeful death caused her spirit to become stuck. With countless days in her hands, she was able to shape the realm in her image and practice her magic freely. All of the waiting eventually got tiring, so she was very interested when Mara showed up in her realm, becoming practically thrilled after finding out that she was her descendant. Amari offered a deal to Mara so that she could control her newfound powers better and allow Amari access to the outside world for the first time in hundreds of years.

There are a lot of new interesting things for a 1600s woman to observe in the modern day, but one thing is still the same. Her hatered for humankind. She had very little patience for any person that Mara talked to, especially if anyone was even slightly rude.

Amari doesn't admit her involvement in Mara being contacted by Gibosh to join Scare School, but it's more than likely that she did something. She had seen how tough life in the human realm was, so giving Mara a chance to escape from it would be more than expected for Amari.

[josefavomjaaga]

The marriage of Louis Bonaparte and Hortense de Beauharnais is usually just labeled some version of "bad" and not many details beyond some basics of it was arranged against both of their wills, during the few years he was King of Holland she preferred Paris to Amsterdam and also she was unfaithful. Just wondering what were specifics on what wasn't working between through the years and why?

Hortense, mostly. Okay, that was highly unfair.

I've gotten two questions related to Louis Bonaparte recently so I'll randomly pick this topic first. Sorry again (as always) for the long wait.

Figuring out who is "at fault" when two human beings turn out to just not be compatible is not easy anyway. But in this case, there's the additional problem of discerning the sources. While one side (Louis) has left some very sober and impersonal memoirs about his time as king of Holland, mostly treating political events, the other (Hortense) spent two decades, one third of her life, writing, editing and publishing all sort of media in her own favour, usually portraying herself as the innocent victim of jealousy and evil propaganda, whose personal enemies envied her all her perfect virtues.

Most people seem to believe her, so my opinion will be highly unpopular. But I keep thinking something was very, very wrong with Hortense.

It starts with the marriage plans. Hortense spends a lot of time on the topic in her memoirs (after having spent a lot of time listing the names of her potential suitors and random incidents of receiving admiration that embarrassed her oh-so-very-much... like a hunter lines up trophies on a wall). She clearly states that her mother pushed her into the marriage because Josephine could not give Bonaparte any children and Hortense's first son would need to become Napoleon's heir - otherwise the Bonaparte family would sooner or later convince Napoleon to divorce. - Except that in the Archives Nationales de France there is a manuscript, written by Hortense herself for tsar Alexander in 1814, in which she clearly states that she only ever heard of the possibility of divorce much later, when Louis refused to give up their first child to the First Consul.

And yet: if it's true that after Napoleon's return from Egypt Josephine and her kids had to spend a night on their knees in front of Napoleon's bedroom door - would the possibility of a divorce not have been around since, like, ever?

It's a small detail but I guess it shows how everybody worked on muddying the waters. Hortense is clearly lying at some point, but is it to Alexander or in her memoirs?

Add to that all the propaganda from all sides (pro-Napoleon, but from the Bonaparte side, often vilifying or ridiculing the Beauharnais side, pro-Bourbon, pro-republic) and the constant clan squabbles resulting in accusations and counter-accusations, and you have one tangled web to catch a lot of stories and very little truth.

There is also the problem of Louis' health issues that must have played a huge role in this marriage. I cannot access Dutch sources which might be the best in Louis Bonaparte's case, so I've mostly stuck to English texts. The nature of Louis' illness seems to be utterly unclear, I've read about anything from gout to syphilis (the latter I'm tempted to rule out due to how long he lived and him not having infected Hortense). I've also seen authors claim that Louis was utterly unable to father children, in which case half of the motivations ascribed to him in Hortense's memoirs do not work. I've seen mentioned that some of the treatments Louis had to undergo were so disgusting that Hortense could not bear them.

Very muddy waters.

So I'll try to make this short from here before I go off on yet another tangent: It seems pretty clear that in the beginning, it is Hortense rejecting Louis, who clearly does not fit her romantic notions of knight in shining armour. In typical Madame-Campan's-bride-school-for-the-rich-and-famous fashion, I might add (see Aglaé Auguié-Ney). Baylac's biography of Hortense cites several letters in which Louis almost begs for a sign of attention from his young wife, while he's away taking the waters.

He will not get them. Instead, Hortense will return to her mother and the court of First Consul Bonaparte and continue to play the role of "First Daughter" of France at the very first occasion, just like she would occasionally return to Madame Campan's school and play teacher's pet again. Hortense seems to have had the constant need to place herself at the center of attention, to outshine every (female) rival. I'm not sure of the underlying reason but the two siblings may have suffered from a similar problem and have chosen diametrically opposed strategies to cope: Eugène basically erasing himself, Hortense making everything about herself.

The closer you (or at least I 😗) look at her memoirs, the more pettiness and superficialty there is in her reasoning and the less I tend to believe in her accusations against Louis.

That being said, I do not think a husband like Louis, morose, suffering from chronical pain and probably highly irritable because of it, with the additional mental baggage of very patriarchal Corsican customs, did help the situation in the least! Hortense had grown up in Revolutionary Paris, around the Talliens, Barras, etc., for her extra-marital affairs surely were nothing to write home about. While Louis may have wanted to give this arranged marriage a true chance, Hortense probably never even planned to. She was giving birth to sons, that was what she had been hired to do. So what? The father mattered little.

Regarding that: There were (possibly unfounded) rumours about who the father of Hortense's first son was. The second generally seems to have been accepted as Louis' (which implies that he must have been able to father children). The third (future Napoleon III) was so obviously not Louis' that people in Paris openly made songs about it, and it caused the final breakup between Louis and Hortense. Modern-day scientists have verified through DNA tests that Napoleon III and Napoleon I were not blood-related (which has then caused a discussion if possibly Louis had not been fathered by Carlos, because surely Letizia was a lot more probable a culprit than Hortense... I digress again).

As usual, I've probably not really said much in my long blabbering post. (Except that I don't like Hortense.) The fairest answer would probably be: I do not know, and I'm not sure anybody has ever really tried to figure it out. Hortense was a highly independent and - in my opinion - extremely self-centered person, and Louis a man suffering from chronical pains and often humiliation by his wife's behaviour. Both might have needed help, physically and mentally

[hickeygender]

so, uh... netflix avatar certainly is a show, huh? i just finished episode 1 and i'm gonna ramble on about it below. blacklist "#len watches natla" or "natla spoilers" if you either don't wanna see this shit or you don't want spoilers.

fair warning that i was relatively neutral going into the show, but episode 1 was... hmm. i'm still struggling to formulate words on it. i didn't love it, but it wasn't shyamalan levels of bad by any means. i'm gonna hop right into episode 2 after this post bc i've heard the pilot and the finale are the weakest episodes and i genuinely wanna give it a fair chance before i cast judgment.

so, they open with the air nomad genocide. i knew this going in, but it certainly sets a Tone, a Tone that does NOT feel like avatar. like, i understand they wanted to elevate the level of maturity a bit and make things more serious, but was it rlly necessary to see a shit ton of air nomads get fireballed to death, culminating in gyatso getting burned alive trying to protect a room of children, who also presumably get incinerated?? they didn't show that part, instead doing a hard cut to katara waterbending a century later (resulting in EXTREME whiplash for me), but them violently dying is the only way that ends.

also, minor quibble: the firebending looked normal to me, but the general who killed gyatso said smthn like "you might have beaten me any other day, but today we have the power of the comet!" but their bending doesn't look very different from zuko's bending later? it's a little more flamey ig, but in s3 when ozai gets juiced up the motherfucker is out here destroying whole forests from his airship.

onto the acting. gordon cormier's portrayal felt a little too rehearsed and theatrical rather than natural, but he's a kid and acting is hard so i'm def gonna cut him some slack, and he does seem pretty happy and earnest, even if his delivery is a bit forced. kiawentiio tarbell is pretty good, but her dialogue left a bit to be desired, which isn't on her and i'll complain about later. ian ousley gave the best performance imo, tho ymmv bc ik there's some controversy around his heritage that i don't feel i have the right to get into due to tribal registration being a complex topic, blood quantum being awful, and me being white. gran gran was barely there and just exposited everywhere in a weird callback to the og intro, so i don't really feel like she's that important even tho i liked her casting. uncle iroh... i'm not sure. he wasn't too prevalent, which is understandable this early on. i liked paul sun-hyung lee's warmth, but don't have much to say otherwise yet. and then there's dallas james liu. i think his acting was pretty solid, at least on the level of dev patel's performance (which i swear is a compliment bc he was the only good part of shyamalan's dumpster fire of a film imo). i think the issue i have with the performance is down to the writing, which i guess i'll get into now bc it's my biggest issue with episode 1.

the dialogue flow was mid, and there was a bit of info dumping from gyatso in his scene with aang which i found distracting. speaking of info dumping, gran gran was just kinda there to explain the last hundred yrs to aang and then have zero interactions with her grandchildren before they flew off, which was dumb.

still on the topic of writing: i mentioned the tone set by the opener, and i think that's bad, but it also fucked up the pacing by not starting at the same point the og did. by the end of the episode they shoehorned in the trip to the southern air temple with like 11 mins left (i checked) and so that made aang's grief triggering the avatar state feel rushed. i also thought the flashback to gyatso's earlier dialogue when aang saw his corpse was unnecessary. like bitch, i watched that 30 mins ago, i remember it fine! by the end, aang seemed waaaay more driven than he did in s1 of the original, almost as self-confident as he was in s3. like, he accepted being the avatar real quick. i'm pretty sure he'll display a bit more uncertainty later in the season (at least, i hope he does), but that still felt off to me.

my biggest complaint about the writing is zuko. i KNOW he's a brat, i am well aware of that as a lifelong zuko girlie, but was him trying to kill sokka necessary??? he was literally about to throw a fireball at him when he was lying defeated in the snow before aang stepped in. he also commanded his soldiers to burn the village to the ground at one point. i understand he's a villain and that they're attempting to corner the Prestige TV market here, so they've decided to make him grittier. i don't like it, though. in the cartoon, zuko is driven in his awful quest, but he's also honorable - in the village he nods his head in agreement when aang asks if he'll leave the village alone if aang goes with him. that little moment showed his honor, his true honor, peeking through. also in the cartoon, he's really bad at finding the avatar despite being very skilled in combat. i don't know how they're gonna have him show up very much in this season if he's gonna be more of a ruthless asshole tbh.

overall, i'm left just kinda confused with the tone and character writing of the show. i'm going to watch the whole season because it's only 8 episodes and i genuinely hope it improves somewhat, but i'd give it either a 6 or a 6.5/10, i can't quite decide.

[fallingforel]

Arabella pt 11-for the hope of it all

words: 1,638

gif cred: @thefrontofmymind

"Matty, hey, how are you?"

"fucking shite, bug, they've got me attached to all these wires, I don't want to be here, I want to be in my bed with you"

"Matty" I sigh knowing the next thing I'm about to say isn't what he wants to hear, but it has to be said before I give him a false sense that he's going home after he's been discharged.

"what? spit it out woman" he says making me chuckle, even when he was lying in a hospital bed he was an impatient 3 year old.

"hey, you may be lying in a hospital bed, but I'm not afraid to kick your arse still." I replied before perking up again "do you know what happened Matty?"

"yeah, took a bunch of shit and blacked out"

"yes but you also, suffered from Alcohol poisioning which resulted in you having your stomach pumped, You also hit your head pretty hard, they weren't sure you were going to wake up. You overdosed too"

"shit really? did I really have to get my stomach pumped?"

"yes. why is that the only thing you pick up from that?"

"SICK! Never had to have that done to me before"

"No! Matty, it's not sick, it's bad if you were left there any longer, you could've died."

"Adams been asking about been asking about you too, said you were okay as well."

"whats up with you, why are you calling Hann by his actual name, and not his last name or Ad's like you usually do? whats gone while I was half dead. You all haven't fallen apart without me have you?"

"HEY! you were not half dead, you were merely taking an extra long sleep."

"okay sure I was taking an extra long sleep, tell me whats gone on now then"

"adam said you were dead, when we weren't sure if you were going to wake up, basically blaming you for everything, wasn't your fault you deal with pain different to us, you get high and drunk when your in so much pain"

"yeah, can't say that, what Adam said didn't hurt. Because that would be a lie."

"he still hasn't apologised by the way, it's been two weeks. Been passing everything along to G and Ross. about your state, Your going to the bahamas or bermuda, haven't decided which one your going to yet."

"what for?"

"for rehab matty, You blacked out, the doctors have been strongly suggesting rehab, more of an order than a suggestion I guess"

"nice, It'll be nice to get away from this shitty weather for a good while" He says trying to lace his voice with meaningfulness, though I know he doesn't want to go, Just hoping it makes me shut up about it. I know him through and through and I knew that he was lying through his teeth.

he sits in silence with me for a while before he scares me blurting out a "shit" from his mouth.

"what?"

"what about the album? How am I going to record if I am going to be going to the bahamas"

"don't you worry your sweet little head about that Stink. I've sorted it" Giving him a grin like the chesire cat.

"why have you got that look on your face?" He asks from his hospital bed giving me a confused taken aback look.

"what look?" I ask dumbfounded pretending I don't understand.

"the cheshire cat look Y/n, The one that tells me that you've done something stupid."

"Matty. I haven't done anything stupid perse, just something you might not approve of."

"what?"

"I'm not telling you. You'll hate me for it."

"Tell me. Couldn't hate you more than I already do for sending me to fucking rehab"

"You know it's for the best Matty."

"spit it out"

"I asked, col to take your place on the album. He sounds just enough like you that nobody would notice, he's not touring for you though."

"ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT. I AM NOT HAVING THAT SCUMBAG TAKE MY FUCKING PLACE THATS MY FIRST FUCKING ALBUM YOUR TALKING ABOUT. CALL OFF THE REHAB GET ME TO THE STUDIO, RIGHT FUCKING NOW" he says raising his voice.

Col and Matty never got on. Not when me and him were together, not when we all ran in the same friendship circle. and certainly not when we broke up and I found out he cheated on me, and I ran to matty's house in tears and cried on his shoulder and slept on his sofa for a month.

-7 MONTHS EARLIER-

"oh, you have got to be fucking joking me" I say as I walked into my shared apartment in London with my boyfriend of 6 years and my bestfriend and adams girlfriend of 5 years. with his head in between her legs.

"Y/n it's not what it looks like"

"yeah, course it fucking isn't. Get a life. I'm going."

"where?"

"away from you, have a nice life. We're DONE" I say.

and before I know it I'm walking out, away from my life and from him all I have ever known while living in london, the first love I have ever known. grabbing my coat and shutting the apartment door and running through the complex out the lobby door, hailing a taxi to the now only safe haven I knew Matty's house.

"Y/n? what are you doing here?" he asks opening the door to me tears filled my eyes. "he cheated on me, with beth." "that fucker. come in, don't want you getting a cold now do we?" I shake my head no and go to sit on his sofa where I would reside for the next month before getting my life together.

-BACK TO THE PRESENT/ DEC 2012-

"Matty calm down will you, your scaring all the other patients. Just sit down, let's talk it through before you go mental and take three steps back that's not what we're trying to achieve here"

"fine." He slumps back on the pillows turning his body to face the wall away from me.

"Matty, we've gone through all the options. All the people closest to you: Ross, Adam, G, your mum, your dad, my mum and dad, jamie too. And we've all agreed it wasn't a bad idea Adam and I are fine with it. But if you disagree to it here's whats going to happen. Your probably going to miss out on releasing your album, You're going to be put on drug watch with someone at your side all times even when you piss if you decide that you want to record, everyone is going to keep an eye out for you. So it's all up to you, but those are your options. What one do you think is best?"

"I ain't going to rehab."

"yes you are Matty, we've already established this. We've picked a nice place out for you to go. It's in bermuda, you get to do equine therapy play with horses, you get to watch the sea it's all very theraputic. It'll help you out Matty trust me. It's either this or a shitty rehab centre in a shitty town in the U.K where you get no 1 to 1 care either. I've got the card and my laptop here. You can have a look at it." I say pulling my laptop out of the cubby hole next to Mattys bed and the card out of my jacket pocket.

"I ain't going."

"matty, you are. You can either go the nice way, which is you go willingly or you can go the harder way where they pull you out of here themselves and I've seen it happen more than once when i've come to visit you. Matty you need to choose, the doctors aren't letting you out of here until you've chosen the route you want to go down, which is going to be close drug watch with one of us, or all of us and rehab at the end after you've recorded or rehab and let col record. and then hard or easiest way"

"fine."

"so whats it going to be?"

"I don't know yet, let me think it through can you go get me some proper food. I don't want none of this hospital shitty crap."

"yeah, okay what do you want?"

"maccies. Double cheeseburger and coke please"

"okay, I'll go get you some. be back soon" I say before leaving his hospital room with a chaste kiss on his forehead.

the drive thru was rather short getting myself chicken nugget meal and I thought on the way back I should probably tell George what was going on seeing as he was closest to Matty after me of course.

"so whats going on"

"I don't know G, I told him I was sending him to rehab he seemed okay at first, knew it was a lie though I could tell. Then I told him about Col recording the album and he started shouting and denying going to rehab, I gave him his options he ended up saying fine. Don't know whether he's chosen going to rehab first or recording. G I'm scared."

"there's no need to be. It's matty he'll come around eventually you know he will. No need to swea-"

and G is abruptly cut off by someone else ringing me, the hospital. that can't be good

"err G I'm gonna have to go, the hospitals phoning"

"okay okay, enjoy mattys madness" He says ending the call allowing me to pick up the hospitals phone call.

"hello?" I say

"hello. Is this Y/N L/N."

"It is how can I help."

"it's matty."

"what about him?"

"he's disappeared"

"okay. I'm coming I'll be there soon." I say ending the phone before screaming

"FOR FUCKS SAKE"

[idril-la-wiccan]

Mermay 2023 - 4th Week and last three days

Day 22 - Zodiac

Well, with a prompt like this one, it was a little too easy to go with the Aquarius for Mermay. But... the thing is I have a certain attachement for this astrological sign in particular.

Day 23 - Tradition

And here is "Mahu", the dumbo octopus merfolk from day 21, once more ! I had vaguely alluded to it, but "Mahu" won't be their name, even if this is what I had planned initially. I'll explain why.

You've probably noticed that all of the merfolks I made for Out of the Abyss are strongly inspired by polynesian cultures, the most obvious ones being Hawaiian and Maori. And "Mahu" is in itself a concept of the Hawaiian culture : a third gender of which the name translates litteraly to "in the middle". Mahu people had an important role in Hawaiian society. They taught spiritual and social traditions, which included, among other things, teaching the hula.

And so, for me to have the idea of naming them "Mahu" to begin with, you've probably figured out that it's because this is what they are, traditionally speaking. But as I thought about it, I realised naming them by what they are would be like naming a cat, well, "Cat". It's a bit dumb.

Basically, I want to give them a new name. I'll certainly keep a two syllables name to at least keep things simple.

Hmm... In fact, maybe I could find them a name that has something to do with traditions ?

Day 24 - Zaddy

I made this character on the spot as I wasn't really inspired by the prompt. But I think I managed well with it nonetheless.

Day 25 - Food

No matter his form, Humphrey will always be a big glutton. (Even if, thankfully, he doesn't have the same voracity as when he used to be an actual whale.)

Day 26 - Jewel

"Shiny... For me... ?"

Day 27 - Halle Bailey

Ok, I'm not gonna speak on the matter of the Disney remakes as I believe everybody knows and that everybody roughly agrees about it.

No, here, the subject is Miss Bailey. I think no one can deny it, her voice is magnificent. And no matter the state of the movie, if she took pleasure in playing Ariel's role, then I am gald for her. And I also wish her a good continuation in her career.

Day 28 - Sailor

Alright, I might be cheating a bit with this prompt here. But the idea had been floating in my head for a while now and I finally had an excuse to put it on paper.

I don't know if I was the only one to have this idea, but I saw no one imagine the Captain Caviar ending up with a merman form as a result from being cursed by Black Pearl.

And yet, I saw many people draw him as a merman, so I'm surprised I haven't already seen this idea roam around...

Day 29 - Barbie

I loved the Barbie movies when I was a kid, especially the Fairytopia series. Here, I drew Elina, main character of this movie series, who takes on a mermaid form for a good part of the movie "Mermaidia".

Day 30 - Blue

I had mentionned this on day 21, but I'll have to reiterate it for this prompt. Leviathan is a blue whale merman.

It's in fact for this same reason he's the tallest amongst his peers : blue whales are the biggest mammals known in the world. Even Humphrey, a little humpback whale merman in comparison, is no match.

Well, perhaps that under his original form, Humphrey could have surpassed Leviathan.

Day 31 - Good night

I never would have guessed that I needed to see Dino-sour be a father figure to a half dinosaur baby cookie in my life.

Yes, the previous sentence makes no sense out of context.

I no longer play Ovenbreak ever since... well, ever since even before what happened with Yogurca (the less we talk about it, the better), but I'm still trying to follow the stories on YouTube. And honestly, I think that Pond Dino is the best thing to have happened to the "Rise of the Blue Dragon" update. I get how their design bothers some (it's rather overloaded, let's admit it), but... Just...

Baby... <3

Baby that sleeps like an otter. <3

*****

*~ Third week ||

Like my art ? You can commission me !

Buy me a coffee ?

[gothwives]

"ha ha." it really hadn't hit him yet just how tragic this all was. at first he was in a state of shock, but little by little reality was sinking in. what resulted was a sort of numbness, with the whirlwind of emotions waging war within him proving too exhausting to fully sort through. he was trying not to dwell on what would inevitably drive him mad, instead appreciating such creature comforts as the the body he so carefully lathered with soap. "i'm sure you can hire someone to take care of things, can't you?" lips pursed, leon pondered her questions, ruminated on how truthful he should be. this was a murderer he was talking to, after all, and he had no idea just how dangerous she truly was. who knew what she was capable of, what might set her off. in the end he kept it simple, giving away as little information as possible and waiting for her to give him more. "i do." and he'd been trying his best not to think about them through all this, but she just had to go and remind him of two of the most important people in his life, who he might never see again. while sienna spoke, he remained quiet, listening intently to her bare her soul. needing something to do with his nervous energy, he poured a bit of shampoo in his hand, reaching for her hip to pull her closer and beginning to work it through her hair. at first it'd seemed like a nice, light topic of conversation, but he could sense it was going in a sinister direction before she'd even got to that part of the story. all he could think about was how he'd feel if it were one of his sisters in sienna's sister's shoes, or his mother, even. leon had witnessed his mother harmed by not one, but two men— not physically, but emotionally and psychologically, which was almost just as insidious. it'd torn him apart inside, but if it had ended up leading to her eventual demise? he couldn't say just what he'd do in retaliation. suddenly sienna's actions started to make a lot more sense to him, and he had a hard time seeing her as the villain she'd made herself out to be. she wasn't just some sick freak who killed for the thrill of it— her whole family had been wronged by this town, and now she was the only one left to do something about it. how could he fully condemn her actions after learning the reasoning behind it? "i'm sorry... i know it doesn't really mean shit coming from me, but— yeah, i dunno. i dunno what to say, other than that your sister shouldn't have had to go through that. your whole family, really. it makes sense, i guess... kinda sounds like the plot of a quentin tarantino movie, actually. i'm wondering who he'd cast to play you... emma stone, maybe?" it hadn't even occurred to him that she could be lying about the sob story to gain his trust, but she spoke with too much sincerity for him to doubt her.

“ i bet you would've killed. ” hollow compliment would only come off as pouring salt into the wound that she ripped an opportunity from him. though, she grew silent as he washed her and started up prying for information. big smile turned small and she rotated when she needed so he could get her back; raising her arms and bouncing a little to try and distract him with her breasts. “ if i leave, who would take care of everythin' here? there's a lot of farm and a lot of farm animals. ” selling was an option, but it was the last option. “ how long do you think i've been killin' folks? ” one brow raising while she shot him a playfully quizzical look. “ you got siblings, leon? ” gently rejecting his hand from washing her further, sienna let the water wash away the suds as she smooth her hand down her body. “ i had a sister. older. she was the debutante type. virginly and prettier, but she was not the favorite. well, she was the town favorite. sweet and helpful and she lit up any room she walked in. ” the brunette spoke softly, in awe rather than having any ill in her tone. “ all the boys and men just wanted a piece of her, y'know? but she was savin' herself and all that.. made her come off prudish to them and they took as she thought she was better than them. ” her head craned slightly, pausing as if she'd seen a ghost or frightening thought had infiltrated her mind. “ one day she comes home late.. her dress was ruined and she had all these marks on her and she was bleeding and.. ” plump lips pursed, sucking her teeth and poking her tongue against her inner cheek. “ well, nobody in my family really recovered after that. everyone in town and the trial that happened broke my sister 'cause nobody believed her.. too much influence from the gang of men that did it to her. all those threats from women, daughters, sons, men.. got to her, so she— ” the brunette doesn't mean to be crude, gesturing rope around her neck and the rest. “ mama drowned herself in alcohol before she actually drowned herself in the bayou and my daddy stuck a rifle in his mouth a year later. ” sticking her head under the water, sienna pushed liquid and hair out her face before she looked at leon again. “ i've got a long list, leon. so, there's a lot tying me down right now. the gas station didn't even put a dent in that list. ”

[simply-hyacinth]

You write L so wonderfully and so in character. I had a request if they’re still open: Could I request Reader (any gender) giving L his first kiss, teaching him how to kiss in the process, and L discovering that he really enjoys the sensation of kissing? I headcanon L as so mentally devoted to his work that his physical form has kind of taken a backseat, and so something like a kiss or touch from the right person can ignite in him a new understanding of himself. Thanks for reading! 💖

So, I was gonna answer this later because I have a truly astounding amount of homework to get done, but how could I keep you waiting? Anyways, I tried my best to adhere to your request, and I'm so sorry if it's disappointing, I've never really done this before. Please let me know if you want anything else written or rewritten, or literally anything. Your wish is my command. Also, thank you so much for your kind words! I am trying to write him as realistically as possible because I saw too much ooc L, and so I'm doing my best.

“Cake?” You asked, setting it down in front of him gently so as to not disturb his setup. 

“Thank you.” He responded. His eyes never left the screen as he picked up the fork and began to eat. 

He had arrived at your apartment last night and in typical L fashion, had given you little notice before knocking on your door with a briefcase of files and papers. He had turned your living room into a crime scene, and as far as you knew, hadn’t slept a wink since he had gotten here. 

You didn’t want to ask him any questions or bother him, despite how incredibly curious you were, but you did want to be sure he wasn’t wasting away under your watch. If that meant feeding him desserts every hour to ensure that something was being consumed, then so be it.

“Cake for dinner,” You said softly to the air, shaking your head as you served yourself a slice. “I’m living my childhood dreams.”

Taking a seat next to L, you very carefully pulled a blanket up to your lap. You watched him cautiously, worried that your movements might distract him.

“You are not bothering me.” He said abruptly. 

You froze “Are you sure? I can just go to my room if - “

“No, I quite enjoy your presence.” He turned to you. “And if anything, I should be the one worried about bothering you. I have completely taken over your living room with my research.”

In furious denial, you responded, “No not at all! I love having papers about - “ You pick up a paper and skim the first sentence. “ - mass murders…on my couch…”

L let out a soft chuckle, to which you gave him a smile in return. “I should be thankful that you have not yet tired of my existence.”

“How could I ever? You’re my best customer.” You gestured to the state of your messy kitchen - a result of all the baking and cooking you had done for him since he had arrived. 

He responded with a little laugh, and turned back to his screen. You admired how much he devoted himself to his work, however it worried you nonstop to see how it ate away at him, both mentally and physically. 

You didn’t pretend to understand what he did. As far as you could tell, he was a spy or detective of sorts. He never confirmed or denied your guesses, but there were certain aspects of his routine that allowed you to infer what you could.

What you were sure of, however, was that the only time he was ever able to properly relax was when he was around you. Which only made it that much more saddening that he was so immersed in his research at this moment in time.

But you said nothing. It was never your place to interfere or say anything. That was how the two of you worked.

You picked up your book from the table in front of you and began to read. It was nice, being near him and the two of you being allowed to do your respective things. In fact, the book you were reading was one he had suggested for you after you told him it had been a while since you found a good book.

So far, you were quite happy with the recommendation.

After a couple of hours of just being next to each other and occasionally exchanging words, you began to doze off. The book slipped out of your hands and your head dropped onto L’s shoulder.

For the first time in hours, he was completely taken out of his work mindset. The weight of your body slumped against his was so warm. He knew it probably would be best to let you sleep, but how was he meant to get any work done if you were right against him?

Lucky for him, you started to stir, yawning as you awoke from your brief nap. “You’re here?”

“I’ve been here since yesterday.” He replied quietly.

You quickly noticed how much of his personal space you had accidentally invaded and shot straight up. “Shit, I didn’t mean to - “

L reached over and took your hand. It was a bit of an awkward grab, but you understood he meant it to be comforting. “You do not bother me.” His words were firm. 

“Right,” You breathed out, unknowingly lacing your fingers with his. “I forgot.”

“You also seemed to forget that I was here,” He noted. “You were surprised.”

Your cheeks heated up at his observation. “I think…I’m not used to you being so present next to me. It was a bit shocking to wake up practically sleeping on you.”

He was silent for a moment, and then, “Elaborate. On the part about me being present.”

“It’s not a matter of you being physically absent, but I mean you’re always so absorbed in your work that it’s like you forget I’m here or even where and who you are. Mentally, you are on another planet almost ninety percent of the time.” You explain, embarrassed. 

This seemed to bother him. You noticed the way his grip on your hand loosened and his shoulders deflated even more. 

“I never meant to make you feel that way.”

Your heart broke at how defeated he sounded. “Not at all! I just want you to be aware that you’re allowed to relax around me. You’re under no obligations here.”

He nodded. “Then you should also know that I don’t mind you being close to me.” He looked down at where your hands were still intertwined. “I’ve come to enjoy being in contact with you.”

You laughed lightly, relieved. “Thank goodness. I could kiss you right now, you know?”

“You could.” He confirmed quickly. “It would certainly be an experience I’ve never had before.”

To that, your laughter stops. “Never? You’ve never been kissed before?”

“I think I, of all people, would know if I had been.” He said dryly. 

“Would you want me to kiss you?” You asked him, your words hushed and curious. 

He pondered it for a moment. “I would want you to, of course. I have no expectations on whether or not I will enjoy it, as I have no previous experience to form them from. However, based off of what the vast majority of the population would - “

You decided you had enough of his talking and leaned forward, pressing your lips against his and using your free hand to hold his face gently as you did. 

By kissing standards, it was not perfect. It was soft and awkward, but to you it was pure bliss. And as you pulled away and saw the gratified look in his eyes, it was fairly evident he felt similarly.

“How was that?” You asked teasingly.

“I’m not sure,” He replied. “I think you should do it again, for me to provide you with a satisfactory answer.”

You let out a laugh and leaned against him. “To be entirely honest with you, I haven’t kissed many people before.”

“In comparison to them, how did I do?” 

“Well, that was just a basic kiss.” You explained. “If you really want to be memorable, you should try a little harder.”

He raised an eyebrow at you. “And how should I do that?”

You gave him a sly smile and moved until his back was pressed against the couch cushions and you were positioned slightly above him, your legs on either side of his lap. 

“Just open your mouth…” And like the obedient boyfriend he was, he did. “...lean forward…” Your lips met his again and you pulled him in closer; so close that you could feel his heart pounding against your chest.

The two of you quickly fell into a rhythm, and for someone who claimed to have never been kissed before, he was oddly passionate.

Breathless, you pulled away and beamed at him. “I would say that was pretty good. You?”

“If I wished to rank it, I would have to kiss other people to properly make a comparison.” You met his eyes, a teasing spark illuminated within them.

You scrunched up your nose. “Don’t joke. You are horribly unfunny.”

“Your lies do not concern me.” He placed a small kiss on the tip of your nose, much to your surprise. 

“It appears you like being kissed then?” 

“If it’s by you, then yes.” He sighed, a mixture of content and sadness. “I apologize for making you feel so unwanted around me while I work. I truly appreciate your presence and your efforts to distract me.”

You nodded acceptingly. “Well, do they at least work?”

L smiled. “They do.”

With a little exhale of relief, you rested your body against his and closed your eyes. “Anyways, you’re pretty good at that whole kissing thing. Maybe we can make it a habit.”

He squeezed your hand lightly. “I would like that.”

Because there was something so satisfying about kissing you, or even touching you, that made him only crave it more. L, whose mind was forever restless, had come to a complete halt the moment your lips had touched his. 

It appeared that the only tried and true thing that could ever relax him and bring him out of an overworked state of mind, was being with you. 

It was selfish. So incredibly selfish of him. To be with you, knowing the dangers, knowing the consequences, all because it made him feel good.

But he couldn’t help it. Not if it meant the possibility of kissing you again. And so he solidified this resolve in his mind that he wanted you, and only ever you. He knew there could be nothing good to come of this in the long run, but for now, you were both content in each other’s company.

L never stopped thinking about this moment. It might have been one of the only ones where he could truly say he was happy. 

[qqueenofhades]

hey i just wanted to say i really enjoy your posts. i'm a 30-something who works in reproductive health care in pennsylvania, and while i often feel pretty bad about our government, i still think voting is essential.

i get really frustrated with a lot of the people around me who seem to almost delight in being fatalistic. dems just might be able to secure a majority in our state house which, along with a pro-choice governor, means we could finally secure some protection for abortion access instead of just constantly praying the gop doesn't reach a veto-proof majority. and when i share this with my friends i either get silence or, literal quote, "that would be absolutely incredible and by absolutely incredible i mean in keeping with the barest sliver of hope for the future but i guess it's a low bar" and it's like????? hey fuck you???

anyways, i like how you balance optimism and pragmatism and seem like someone who doesn't just want to smoke week, play mariokart, and talk about how every candidate sucks.

Thanks, this means a lot to me. I have been cavilling in the lonely Tumblr wilderness about elections, voting, the necessity to do it, the toxic and useless "Progressive Online Leftist" culture, why you need to support Democrats, and so forth ever since at least 2016. As you might expect, this has not always gone down well, but I am stubborn.

Also: yes, this election wasn't a blue wave, but yet again, I'm astonished at how fast the goalposts changed, and suddenly the best midterm results for an incumbent president in recent history were Actually Bad. The almost universally-expected Republican red tsunami didn't happen at all, and while they may scrape out the House in a tight race (let's hope not the Senate too), that is hardly the barn-busting result that everyone was crowing about. Their craziest and most dangerous candidates, in the places where they had the chance to do a lot of damage, almost universally lost. Democrats even made pickups in places where they weren't expected. They held their own and made it exponentially more likely that we can stagger into 2024 without going full fascism, and that is important.

I know the nihilist millennial/Gen Z culture tends to make everything as bad as it can be at all times (and don't get me wrong, it is indeed very bad), but just being Edgelord Darko at all times to show how cool and cynical you are... eh, it just doesn't appeal to me, it never has, it never fixes anything, and is as much a self-serving fantasy as the Republicans' Big Lie. In both cases, it conveniently excuses the person from having to do anything to actually help the world and the state of things, if everything is already fucked anyway, and I'm definitely not cool with that.

[blazehedgehog]

Yuji Naka allegedly planned on firing a majority of the (non-Japanese) staff of the cancelled Geist Force, and then utilize GF's engine for his own Sonic Team projects. And he stated his plan within earshot of said staff to his advisor, assuming they didn't speak Japanese... but they did, and they subsequently quit en masse in protest hearing this, resulting in GF's cancellation. And this was JUST A FEW YEARS after his (rather ironic) tantrum over the X-Treme staff using his NiGHTS engine.

What I'm saying is that stating Naka was "[not] the nicest, most caring guy" seems like a MASSIVE fucking understatement at this point.

At the same time, a lot of this was a very long time ago. People tend to mellow out when they get older. If you're throwing yourself in to fights a lot, you're going to get tired of fighting eventually.

Regarding yesterday's post, some have pointed out that, in some companies, HR is involved with firings in general. Human resources deals with all employee affairs, not just rudeness complaints. It is entirely possible that no matter what Yuji Naka did or did not do, HR would have always gotten involved as part of his removal process. It's a red flag, but it's not ironclad.

Which is a good way to treat all of this, I think. We have a lot of anecdotal accounts of Yuji Naka allegedly acting a certain way, but only a very small percentage is verifiable, identifiable proof. A lot of it is "My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Yuji Naka pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious."

It's also worth mentioning that if Yuji Naka went so far as to enter a costly legal proceeding about what happened to him, and used that as a platform to talk about this, that suggests judgment might have been in his favor. In other words, he might have actually been unfairly removed from the project according to whatever court heard his case in Japan.

There are many angles to view this situation from and its important not to rush to grabbing pitchforks and torches just yet. It's just weird, that's all. Like I said originally, this could just be Yuji Naka's past catching up with him.

[dragon-seahorse]

I,Like Zesty couldn't pick one so I chose

Uno From Nanbaka (Left) And Doppo Kunikida (Right).

I am NOT NORMAL about these two and while they're not my weirdest they're my most I guess you could say Elaborate? I have some weird ones yes but the explanations would be way to short but these two are actually always at the forefront of my headspace and they are like my most consistent companions in my brain. I will also say with my roommates I am their Uno and Kunikida they're my Chuuya and Dazai and Nico and Jyugo(we RP and plan to cosplay these characters).For now though here's the tea on my boys!

Uno:

Silly:

Mom friend like straight up he is cell 13's mom. He's also got a gambling addiction and ironically enough he is the best with money I'm not even joking. Also one of my favorite lines from him is this:

moster/evil doll thing is tugging on Uno's hair cause the group is chatting for plot reasons. After some tugs he just turns amd screams out "HEY! DON'T PULL ON MY HAIR UNLESS WE AGREE ON A FRIGGIN SAFE WORD!!!" And then he sees the evil doll and goes pail as a ghost before the group runs away(this is a "comedy" anime and he is crying as they run away but it's the funny anime crying). Either way I think he's one of the funniest characters in this show.

Angst:

We hardly know anything about his backstory, what we do know is that apparently he hates authority and since this is a prison anime he probably has had enough bad experiences with prison guards he doesn't trust them hell both he and another character Rock are either consciously or unconsciously protective over their younger cell mates Nico and Jyugo that they tend to put themselves infront of Nico and Jyugo a lot even when they sleep Uno and Rock are on the outsides with Nico and Jyugo are inbetween them. I also think he might have a slight case of bad or low self esteem as he is a very pretty character but he is being constantly overshadowed by other pretty boys in the show two (possibly three it's been a while since I've actually watched Nanbaka)of which actively state that they are much better looking than him.

As a result of him being one of my favorites:

I made him an angsty back story,I have made so many AUs for my boy, hell I have a crack/joke ship of Uno and Mothman(Yes,the Cryptid) based on an inside joke with my friends. Hell I am slowly building my collection of Uno merch there's sadly not a lot but maybe someday qwq. He's also got a permanent spot in my brain space that he and Kunikida kinda run it together.

Kunikida:

Silly: God where do I start, I love the way he's animated and I love it when he gets the shark teeth when he's angry and yelling at Dazai. He's also honest just a fun character and I latched onto him quickly hell he's a lot like me in certain aspects and I think that's why he quickly became my faves. I usually cling to the protags and while yes Atsushi is one of my absolute favorite protags,Kunikida is THE FAVORITE. Plus I love how soft he can be and how caring he actually is. He also tends to act like a male wife and he is also the mom friend and Dazai even calls him the agency's mommy (he also calls him that in the light Novel too!!!) And I fuckin love that (I am Sensing a pattern here with me and mom friend characters)

Angst:

The Fandom is sleeping on him for real I am not joking. He calls Dazai every morning and night to make sure he's okay hell I'm sure he makes meals for both Dazai and Katai to make sure they get some decent food instead of takeout all the time. In Beast he doesn't call Akutagawa a monster he tells him flat out that he just doesn't know himself yet and that the ADA will help him figure things out and he's ONE OF THEM NOW!!!. Kunikida sacrifices himself because he doesn't want anyone to die in front of him he's been shown to willingly blow himself up to protect others and when someone does die it breaks him. It breaks him and it tears him up inside but he hardly gives himself the time to grieve. HE EVEN SHEDULES HIS BRAKEDOWNS AND THAT HURTS SO MUCH THAT HE FEELS HE HAS TO DO THAT FOR THE SAKE OF TIME MANAGEMENT!!!! OTL. I swear to God the ADA would crumble so fast without him they could probably live but it will never be the same with out Kunikida there. Kunikida I swear is so important to the series but he's constantly shoved aside and that makes me so so sad.

As a result of him being one of my favorites:

He is very similar to Uno while I don't have a backstory for him I have so many AUs with him,so many ships,I do have more merch of Kunikida than I do of Uno but I love themb both so much. Kunikida also like Uno has basically permanent residency in my head and they're the most prominent. I also plan to cosplay as Kunikida eventually I even has his notebook as well.

Uno and Kunikida mean the world to me and love them so very very much. They are my boys and I am almost always down to talk about them.

Now I'm not gonna tag anyone cause I don't wanna be rude ^^; but if anyone wants to do this feel free

I'm bored so....

show your 'weirdest' to explain favourite character, say the silly & angst reasons why you like them and what you have done as a result of them being your favourite

I'll start:

Qi Rong aka Night Touring Green Lantern from Heaven Official's Blessing

Silly reason I love him: he's deranged and crass which is fun to see in comparison with the other characters and how the fuck did he of all characters become a father?

Angst reason I love him: he's an abandoned child who while yes, has done horrible things and hurt people, he's someone who's needed a hug and someone there for him for him. His name literally means 'face of sorrow' and much like how Mu Qing's name meaning hurts... it hits hard

As a result of him being one of my favourites: I wrote a whole oc who's his best and only true friend because I thought it would be funny but now they're an actually deep and meaningful friendship to the point she is now helping care for his son

Tags: @kitty-thinks-stuff @aurae-rori @kitty-meowskers @winter1234lo

[nymphigeon]

From me, to you || 07

♤ Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

♤ Genre: fluff, angst, romance, hybrid au, hybrid!Taehyung, detective!reader

♤ Words: 2.5k

♤ Rating: PG-13

♤ Warnings (for this chapter): Mentions of hybrid abuse, swearing.

♤ A/N: Surprise! I'm really sorry it took me this long, but I finally found the time and drive to write again :) Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Synopsis: A story in which he has never known love, so you’ll give it to him.

Series masterlist

06 07

"What do you mean this hybrid doesn't exist?"

Her eyes are wavering with an unspoken fear, perhaps caused by the bitterness my questions holds. I'm not happy, and she knows.

“It’s just, the chance that a dangerous breed such as the tiger hybrid would escape our system is basically zero..” The gaze she held on the computer screen unsurely moves my way. My expression must've instilled another layer of anxiety to the already existing one, as her mouth abruptly stops moving and her pupils dilate.

“Go on, explain.” The tone of my voice softens a bit as I notice her visible discomfort worsening. Even if there is no way that I’ll get any information from this place regarding Taehyung and his owner, I would still like to know why they’re both not showing up here.

Eun-ji takes a few deep breaths to stabilize her voice. As she does her posture slowly relaxes just a little and her eyes lose some of the nervousness they held before. “Because the first ‘successful’ tiger hybrid ran rampant after killing their creator, anyone who still breeds or creates them is being watched very closely by us, as well as by some other institutions.”

Perhaps it’s my lack of reaction that causes her to trail off at the end. Though I’m not judging her or her story, unlike she may think. To encourage her to continue, I give her a nod, tilting my head to show interest.

“The regular citizen isn’t even allowed to have one, needing special training to handle them. It’s like that for most hybrids that find their origins in wild animals. Creating tiger hybrids obviously requires a lot of knowledge when it comes to playing with genes and breeding them…. Well there are only three organization that are authorized to do so. All the resulting hybrids are registered and chipped.”

The explanation, which turns out to be a lengthy one, gets broken by a shuddering breath leaving her lips. She composes herself, clinging on to the little confidence she has left in her line of work to speak about the rest of her clarification.

“Of course people have tried to do it themselves, but those d.i.y operations have always ended in disappointment. If not taken proper care of, with substances only a board certified hybrid doctor can provide you, the pregnancy will fail. These are no easy practices they are dealing with.”

After the girls’ last words I give myself some time to think, letting a silence full of tension fill the room. It must be obvious that my mind is somewhere else at the moment, as the other girl in the room does her best to stay quiet. I don’t need much time however, my thoughts having quickly rearranged themselves as they were trained to do.

“So what you’re saying is, since tiger hybrids are hard to ‘create’, if you will, there are only a few people who actually manage to bring them to life. And so those few people are kept under close watch, as are the hybrids they successfully wake, am I correct?”

Eun-ji nods affirmatively, clearly happy that I seem to understand the situation. “So there is absolutely no way that someone without authorization has had a decent attempt at either genetically merging a human together with a tiger or getting a tiger hybrid pregnancy to be successful?”

Perhaps there might be a bit of scepticism in the question I asked, as her attitude immediately changes into a defensive one. “There is not! Whatever hybrid you’re searching for either gave you a false identity or is not a tiger hybrid at all, which would seem rather unlikely. I told you they get chipped right? Why not go look into that.”

“He doesn’t have one. We already had a hospital take a look at him, they didn’t find anything. ” The statement seems to shock her, the gears in her head instantly turning as to find an answer to this riddle. She however can’t seem to get one.

“They can be removed, can they not? They’re just under the skin. If someone decided to just cut it out they could. Terrifying, but plausible. Either that or one of your faithful authorized employees has been leaking information to outsiders.”

This is where Eun-ji seems to give up. Her shoulders sagging and a heavy sigh leaving her lips. “There would still be the problem of the missing equipment, test subjects, practice… How would you even get hold of fertilized human eggs to play around with? But I guess that wouldn’t be totally impossible. As for cutting it out… There would be a noticeable scar. The implants are always put in the same place, it wouldn’t be hard to miss.”

I make a mental note stating to ask Taehyung about all of this when I get back. If anyone knows how he got onto this world it would be him. “Is there a possibility that you could have someone look into it?” The girl nods in defeat, paying more attention to the ground than to anything else. “I’ll see if I can get someone on the case. I’ll have them contact you if we know anything.”

After those words she turns around in her chair, facing the monitor that had already put itself into sleep, and turns it off. Taking a notepad out of the drawer to her left, she quickly writes something down with the pen from her breast pocket. “I’ll get on it right away. Would you like me to walk you back to the exit?”

I shake my head. “No It’s okay, I’ll find my way back. Thank you for cooperating.” Eun-ji gives me a small smile, followed by a bow and walks out of the room taking the note with her, presumably immediately keeping herself busy with the extra work. Not wanting to waste any time I copy her, walking myself back into the direction we came from. Turns out it proves quite easy to find the exit by myself.

It’s already far past dinnertime when I make it back to the office. Not many of my colleagues have remained in their seats, most of them opting for a nice meal with their families. The few that have stayed behind are mostly known to live alone, quite like myself.

I quietly knock on my supervisor’s door, but when no response emerges from within the room, I can safely deduce that she too has already returned home. “I’ll have to write her a report about today later..” I mutter to myself, before stepping away from the door and instead heading to the cells at the back.

Technically the arrest period had already ended for Taehyung, as the law wouldn’t allow us to keep him locked up for any longer without any charges being held against him. His cell however technically was never locked and so even now, he is free to go wherever he wants. Though it didn’t change the fact that he still has no place to go to.

“Good evening. Had anything to eat yet?” He just chose to stay here and we accepted it. “Oh, hello! Yes, that tall handsome bulky man gave me something earlier, I can’t remember his name. He said something about it ‘being the best shit in town’.”

I slightly giggle at his quote, knowing immediately who it belongs to. “That definitely sounds like something Namjoon would say. What did he give you?”

Taehyung looks a lot better than he did yesterday. The stress of the interrogation seems to have completely worn off, instead traded for the sweet bouncy personality he used to show around me.

“Umm it was something in the shape of a circle and it had meat all over it… Oh! I think he called it a pizza? It was delicious!”

“You’ve never had pizza before?” The words leave my mouth before I actually get the chance to process them, causing me to instantly regret ever even opening my mouth. These days are stressful enough for him as they are, he doesn’t need a painful reminder of the life he never got to live on top of that.

The question doesn’t seem to hit him as hard as I though it would though. In fact, his demeanour doesn’t seem to change at all. Although sadly, it doesn’t make his next words any less painful. “Nope! When I first got adopted all they would feed me was wet cat food. It wasn’t great, but at least I got my three meals a day. The foster family I stayed at after my first owners mysteriously disappeared didn’t actually have the money to even take proper care of themselves, so at that time all I would get was whatever was left of their dinner that day, if there was even any left. It was mostly just greens. The lack of meat made me real sick at the time.”

He pauses talking for a second to look up at my face through the metal bars. The content look on his face quickly changes to one of worry once he catches my eyes. It’s no mystery why, I know I look at him pitifully. Even if he may not wish for my concern, I am only human. I can perfectly hide it when I need to, but this is not one of those cases.

“There it is again, that sad look on your face…” He sits up straight on the side of his bed to fully observe me, a tilt of his head giving him away. I send a sad chuckle his way as I reach for the door of his enclosure, inviting myself into the small space with him. He doesn’t object.

“Is it that obvious?” It was meant more as a way to lighten the mood, not as an actual question that needs answering. He still does however, giving me a simple slow nod. “You don’t need to feel bad for me.”

“Someone has to. You deserve at least that much.”

There’s a chair neatly placed under a small desk in the room. It used to be quite lively, with all kinds of bright colours blending into each other. It was a little positive additive into the dark grey room, but after all the anger that has been acted out on it, it no longer has that same shine.

I pull the chair out to place myself upon it, straddling the seat while I rest my arms on top of the back rest. Facing the tiger I use my arms as a pillow to lean my head on, making myself comfortable on the creaking furniture.

“Say, Taehyung, do you remember anything from when and where you were formed?”

He seems slightly taken aback at first, though quickly regains his composure. He also doesn’t immediately answer, first taking some time to think before coming back to me. “I was born a hybrid to two purebred tiger hybrids. They did their best trying to care for me in the little time we got to spend together, but seeing as it happened on a breeding farm getting to spend time with my parents wasn’t the plan. I got sold off pretty quickly, as soon as I learned to hold my first few full conversations.”

“Do you… Would you happen to know what happened to the farm? To your parents?” I fail to hide my apprehensiveness, needing too much space to form a careful approach. This shouldn’t feel like an interrogation to him, I never even announced one. There is little reason for him to answer me, the vital information from his side has already been given anyway. Nonetheless, even though I probably shouldn’t be doing this right now, I can’t just miss this opportunity.

“I heard my adoptive family talking about how the place was burnt down a while later. Most likely the police had caught a hold of it and they had to delete their left behind evidence. Both building and hybrids.”

Despite talking about the death of his parents, he seems to tell the story with relative ease. Probably not having much connection with the far past, his brain too young to truly hold on to the memory of them.

“They were successful too, as the case got dropped faster than lightning. It wasn’t long before the general public forgot about it too, believing it was just another misunderstanding. Besides, hybrid lives weren’t as important anyway.”

The amount of rights hybrids had when they were first created back in the day were close to zero, only strictly being seen as objects to show off whatever possible wealth one may have had. For a while there was even a popular theory going around that hybrids didn’t actually have the ability to feel any kind of emotion or pain. The genetic puzzle wouldn’t allow for it, as it had been tampered with to an extreme extent. This only built on the carelessness shown towards them, slowly chipping away at their sanity.

Although the rumours were wrong, they came from a place of truth. Facial expressions were rare for hybrids, as was the ability to speak. Most of them couldn’t even keep up with regular humans, exhaustion quickly taking over the little anger they could show. Scientists hadn’t yet quite figured out how to perfectly combine the pieces of genetic code and so hybrids were more like living dolls in the eyes of evil humans. Having no voice to object and barely any means to actually hurt anyone, it wasn’t much of a surprise the selfish nature in humans came to rise.

Luckily, or depending on how you look at it, sadly, these first generation hybrids were never able to reproduce. The doll like hybrid features eventually died out with the rise of the newly perfected pieces and the theory was debunked by a group of scientist who actually did care about the hybrids’ wellbeing. Those hybrids had lived through countless punishments, and every single one of them had hurt. A lot.

Right now hybrids in a lot of ways are superior to the rest of us. Having the combined senses of both animal and human alike, society has reluctantly given up on trying to contain them. They are still to be bought and owned, but no longer to be treated like dirt. The smartest of hybrids have even already gotten complete freedom to do as the please, no longer having to be bound to a human to roam freely. However, those unable to pass the close to impossible tests aren’t so lucky.

“I’m sorry about what happened.”

Taehyung gives me a reassuring wave of his hand, effectively trying to lighten the mood, along with a sad smile. It wouldn’t take a trained professional to know he still longs for his parent’s presence, even if he may do well hiding it.

“It’s okay, it wasn’t your fault.”

That doesn’t make the situation more okay, but I hold my remarks back. For now, that might just be for the best.

Taglist

@suhappysuho @intellectualxprincess @sana-b @littlewolfieposts @nellaphine @the8luvr @deathkat657 @elenaramos1 @namjoonies-dimple

[instasiswetrust]

Cherry Lane Challenge Day 3 - Crow

A flutter of black, out of the corner of his left eye is what first catches his attention. His hand raises, signaling his party to stop in their tracks. There's some shuffling and a few annoyed huffs which he ignores in favor of taking careful steps towards what caught his eye in the first place.

All is still for a second and then- There. The dry sound of feathers brushing together.

Silently, he steps closer to the source of the sound. When he sees what it is, he relaxes minutely allowing himself another breath. It is but a crow, its left wing dragging over the dewy grass of the clearing. He sees no blood so he assumes it must be broken.

Another careful step takes him even closer to the scared bird, his fingers nearly brushing its feathers, so close-

"Steve, what's the hol- Is that a bird?"

Tommy and the rest of the hunting party burst into the clearing with too loud steps and raised voices, startling the bird into a frantic state once again. It squawks in its fear, broken wing fluttering pitifully as it tries to escape what it assumes to be a predator.

"I almost had it, Tommy!" He turns to his companion, features set into an angry scowl. He may only be seventeen but he was the Crown Prince and they should've listened to his orders! "Why did you break position?"

Instead of answering his question, Tommy walks past him as crouches right by the bird, poking it with a stick and laughing at its resulting squawk. "Can't believe you stopped a hunting party just to save a bird, Stevie. What are you? Snow White?"

Heat rises to the prince's cheeks and he smacks the stick out of Tommy's hands. "Leave it. It's already hurt enough without you making it worse."

Tommy quirks an eyebrow, teeth bared into a nasty smirk. He gives a mock bow that makes Steve's eyes narrow.

"As you wish, milord."

And then, making sure he's got Steve full attention, he gives the injured bird a sharp kick sending it smacking against a tree with a feeble squawk.

The bird struggles to upright itself, collapses, and tries again, before eventually just laying there. Unmoving if not for the minuscule shifts of its diaphragm. All Steve can do is watch, knowing full well that if he so much dares make a move to help it again, Tommy might outright try to crush it under the sole of his boot.

Under the raucous laughter of the soldiers, he follows the hunting party back to the deer trail they were following, the back of his neck red with poorly contained rage. All thoughts of injured crows and helpless birds are stored at the back of his brain where he no longer has to think about them again.

---

So that night, when he walks into his chambers half-drunk on too much ale and a hearty roast, the last thing he expects is to find a girl sitting on his desk chair. Her vermillion hair is cropped short and would help her pass for a man were it not for her curvaceous figure, so distinctly female even under the black robes she wears. On her head, a crooked hat sits adorned with what he thinks are feathers.

As he steps inside, she stands up and he notices her eyes appear yellow behind her spectacles.

"Who are you?" He tries to sound authoritative, like the prince he's supposed to be, but he's too drunk to manage anything more than slurred inquisitiveness.

"Don't you recognize me?" Her lips barely move as she speaks and yet her voice comes out as a shrill squawk, not too different from the frantic sounds of the crow in the forest. It makes him flinch, taking a step back. "Maybe this will help jog your memory."

Under his watchful gaze, he sees her shift into the same crow he saw that morning. His eyes follow the bird as it flies around the room once, before landing on the chair. A blink later, and the girl from before is sitting in the same spot.

No. Not a girl.

A witch.

Because of fucking course the crow had to be a witch. That was just his life.

"Look, I'm sorry for what Tommy did to you earlier today and I truly wished to help you but if I did-"

"But if you did, your companions might've killed me while you watched." She hums, inspecting her sharp nails with clear disinterest. "Those are but excuses and we both know it."

"They are not-!"

The witch clicks her tongue disapprovingly and he finds the words he meant to say dying on his tongue. Fear rises in him, and only then does he consider that the reason she's here and not with Tommy is that he's the one she's planning to hurt.

"It is an excuse, darling." She fixes him with a sharp glare. "You're Steve Harrington, Crown Prince of the kingdom of Hawkmond. They should respect you and yet your own foot soldiers treat you like you're below the sole of their feet."

A feeble protest rises in his throat but she only has but to look, before silence descends upon him again. The worst part? She is absolutely right.

"You're weak-willed. Spineless. A disaster in the making." She huffs, taking the few steps that separate them until they are standing almost nose to nose. "I shall not allow a person like that to ruin what this kingdom could become."

In her yellow eyes, he sees rage flash however briefly, and he wonders what sort of circumstances led a witch to care this much for the outcome of a whole kingdom. It is but a split-second judgment, yet it's all he manages.

For the next thing he knows, pain radiates from every single nerve ending in his body. He falls upon his knees, writhing in agony, and through his anguished screams, he swears he can hear the witch croon in a sticky-sweet voice.

Scion of swords and kings

A curse of feather and blood

Placed upon thee

For thine will is brittle as bone

This shape thou shall keep

Til’ the day thy soul’s to pass

Unless thy lesson is learned

And thee flies with thine own wings

By the next morning, every single person in the Capitol knows Crown Prince Steve Harrington has gone missing. None a single clue left behind to find him.

---

He finds out pretty quickly that the best way to find food in the forest is to follow the wolves.

It's been two months since the night he was cursed, and Steve's come to the conclusion that while sometimes annoying, being a bird wasn't as awful as he first assumed it would be. Flying was nice once he managed to get the hang of it, and messing with the occasional villager while he indulged in the instinctual desire to steal shiny things was something he hadn't expected to enjoy so much.

But he really could do without the feeding.

The first few days he had outright refused to take part of any rotten bit of meal he found, no matter how appetizing it might've seemed to his new instincts.

By day four he had to give in and eat, or he risked worse injuries.

It had been a distasteful ordeal up until he had found the wolf pack during his first full moon as a crow. Night had fallen, and as he made his way through the thick trunks on unsteady talons, he had heard the first howl. For a second, he had almost considered leaving. Retaining this half-human form was still something he struggled with and he wished to enjoy the little time he had before he once again had to return to his feathery prison.

But the call of the wolves ensnared him, and he had to find them.

Except none of them were normal wolves, as he found out once morning came.

From what he has observed in the last month, most members of the pack preferred to stick to their wolf forms as much as they could. Occasionally, one or two of them would venture into the closest town for certain necessities but that was about it.

It was weird.

It was also fascinating.

They didn't seem to mind his prolonged stay, in fact, it almost looked like they welcomed him among their midst without so much as a second thought. He didn't question it, just enjoyed it for the time being although he always made sure he only shifted into his halfling form where the wolves wouldn't find him.

At least, that had been the plan.

But now, staring into the ice-blue eyes of the blonde wolf he had started thinking as his wolf, he realizes that he overlooked one tiny but very important detail.

Wolves tended to have a keen sense of smell.

Well, shit.

Silence pervades the small nook between the trees he had taken as his hiding spot away from the pack, as he simply stares back at the wolf. Waiting for something, maybe a shift, a lunge. Anything.

Except a whole minute passes with nothing happening, and Steve is starting to feel foolish.

"So is this the part where you try and eat me? Or warn me to stay away from the pack?" He chances, hoping for a reaction.

The wolf cocks its head to the side, blue eyes looking almost mocking before there's a ripple and a human is crouching in its place. A very blond, very handsome, human with ice blue eyes. Who's also kind of naked.

Huh.

"The fact that you think nobody knew what you were as soon as you hopped into the clearing that night is telling." At Steve's confused look, the wolf (the man?) chuckles. Guess he was right about the mocking part. "You reek of magic, little bird. Magic and human flesh."

"Well, how was I supposed to know?" He snaps, the small feathers that cover his neck fluffing up.

"Common sense?" There's a smirk this time, along with a flash of fangs. "Did your mother not teach you about magical signatures once you came out of the egg?"

"I- ah" He falters, unsure if he should explain that he wasn't born like this but rather turned into this. He runs a talon through the feathers that have replaced his hair before sighing. "I'm a human, actually. Just got cursed to look like this."

The man-wolf hums, giving him an appraising look. "That explains a few things."

Steve scoffs, ready to stand up and leave this guy alone to go bother somebody else when suddenly he feels a heavyweight drop onto his lap. When he looks down, he's met with a pair of ice-blue eyes looking back at him.

He wonders, not for the first time, why he picked this particular wolf to stick close to out of all the others.

"Does the little birdy have a name?" That smirk is back again and it almost makes him blush. Makes him glad that his whole skin is now covered in black fluffy feathers.

"If I tell you, will you stop calling me that?"

"Nope. But I might give you my name too."

It sounds like a fair deal at least. And that way he could stop calling him man-wolf in his head.

"Steve."

"Steve. Hm. Not quite what I expected." It's been so long since the last time someone said his name, it feels weird hearing it now from someone that is not himself. "Mine's Billy, by the way."

"And what did you expect, Billy?" The name feels foreign on his tongue but he figures time will make it easier. After all, it's not like he ever can return to Hawksmond unless whatever conditions the witch placed upon the curse are met.

Billy shrugs, stretching languidly across Steve's lap in all his naked glory. Something that Steve's doing his best to steadfastly ignore. "Some fancy bullshit like Stefano or Guillermino."

He snorts at that, covering his mouth with a clawed talon. "Why would you even think that?"

"You look the part, little birdy."

[thedarkestcrow]

Do real ciel actually love his brother or he's just want to hurt him for living those past 3 yeara without him i'm really cunfused about the real relashionship between the two and for undertaker he's just make things worst

What real Ciel feels for his brother now seems to be an obsession rather than love.

I think when it comes to that it’s important to remember that real Ciel isn’t the same person anymore that he used to be. He might be Undertaker’s best result yet he’s still a soulless Bizarre Doll. UT’s earlier results that appeared more human (like Agares) were running on these so-called ‘episodes’ which were the person’s yearnings for their future when they died. While the way by which real Ciel was created probably differs a bit since he’s more evolved and requires blood to function I still think it’s likely that the part about the episodes might still be similar. 

From what we’ve seen of the twins’ childhood real Ciel appeared to be quite close to his brother. He always seem to have imagined their future together and threw a tantrum when our Ciel told him about his plans to become independent. He could only be consoled by the idea that he - as Earl - could protect and support his little brother. 

I think real Ciel was clinging to that thought. It might have even taken on some possessive traits. I suppose it’s not that weird considering their childhood. They are twins and were always together. Our Ciel’s sickness made him the weaker twin and as the older twin real Ciel was always supposed to take over as Earl. They grew up in these roles and especially real Ciel always held on to that strongly. His protectiveness over his little brother only grew during their time with the cult.

And that was the state he was in when he died. In that moment his yearnings for the future were surely thoughts about a life in freedom as Earl with our Ciel by his side. And this is probably what’s driving him now as a Bizarre Doll.

If he had lived on a normal life real Ciel surely would have grown out of his focus on our Ciel. But he died and his mindset was stuck in that state of a ten-year-old. Becoming a Bizarre Doll like this probably only intensified this obsession with our Ciel. While real Ciel may physically change I don’t think he can grow so much emotionally. As a Bizarre Doll without a soul I suppose he’s stuck with his old memories and his wish to be with his brother forever. Adding to that I think Bizarre Dolls have a very limited amount of emotions they can really feel. I suppose they are lacking true compassion and sympathy which is noticeable by how real Ciel uses others to support his goals. 

Real Ciel now doesn’t seem to mind causing our Ciel any pain. He isolates him from his allies and even seems to enjoy our Ciel’s distress. Yet he appears to be proud of his little brother’s success and ideas.

To me real Ciel makes the impression that he still feels like the superior one of the two. He wants to be the one our Ciel comes to in his time of need, he wants our Ciel to be dependent on him. That’s why he’s framing him for murder and why he’s isolating him from his allies. It’s like he wants to keep our Ciel by his side as if he were a pet and real Ciel his proud owner. Real Ciel might think that’s because he loves and wants to protect his brother but that’s not love, that’s obsession and possessive behavior. But I guess as a Bizarre Doll whose focus is set on our Ciel real Ciel can’t really help it. 

Why Undertaker seems to support this I can’t really say for sure. His own obsession with the Phantomhives isn’t quite healthy either, I guess. But even he must see that real Ciel’s plan can’t be good for our Ciel in the long run. However, I think UT knows what he’s doing and all this is just part of some bigger plan. He might even use real Ciel as a Bizarre Doll now to get our Ciel to face his feelings of guilt so that he’ll eventually heal and be ready to be saved from Sebastian. Because our Ciel is the only Phantomhive left (aside from the Midford line) who has a chance of being saved and survive. And that’s what I think Undertaker is trying to do.

I hope this makes sense. :) Have a nice day, take care! ^^