#yesterday night whatever tf i have going on got kinda bad but now its back to normal-ish | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

macklives · 6 years ago

Text

homestuck recap

i hated this so fucking much bc my 2 am bitch-ass didnt want to read a recap thats probably longer than any slowburn out there

anyways here it is

also, uhhH sorry im using this as a end of session discussion bc that shit gets explained in her as well. and im not writing up more recaps of a recap so this is where im done for the day. (by done for the day i mean last nights session, im still doing a liveblog soon. i just wrote this yesterday)

also that this is long

you dont have to read it, theres nothing of importance

ive been coping with humor to get me through it

neato.

have fun with what i suffered through:

why was “beta” the only thing unhighlighted?

like did i miss a page???

OH its the beta version of HS thats why

damn its like 5 pages and thats it

mmh

well youll all be happy to know im clicking every single one of these links again bc i like looking back like ahh i remember that. good times. also in case i forgot some shit existed.

do you think andrew had fun writing this? or was he like “fuck”

thats a lot of fucking package talk. good thing im not confused as of now and remember it pretty clearly. of else, this early on in the recap, id be screwed.

god remember when i did an analysis on each item and what it did

i feel as if i have the technology engrained inside my head right now

cruxite, alchemeter, all that jazz

flashbacks are starting up already

yeah, that was the good part in homestuck where i knew 100% that i probably would continue on this liveblog in its entirety, ngl

that one explosion scene. bc it kept me going.

OH W A IT SHIT

i just realized how the intermission spades probably fucking foreshadowed the whole jack revolts thing and gains the ring, which was also technically JOHNS fault considering he slashed up the doll in the first place

my god, i guess thats the only good aspect of the recap. looking back at things and realizing the missing pieces.

oh that makes sense for the whole “this prototyping had no effect on the enemies, since he was already in the medium” i didnt actually think about that

little did rose know where that would get her right now

oh yeah

there’s still the whole entire lab terminal thing and how mom basically knows the place exists. i guess we’re still venturing onto that and itll come up later when we find out how mom knows SO MUCH about the game.

still think shes some weird spy or secret agent

i kinda love her ngl

anyways, theres literally no reason for skaia to produce a cloning machine. so technically, they only sent the meteors in, right? so who put the cloning machine in if not mom?

oh yeah that impact was nerve wrecking asf

and still at this point in the comic i called dave fuckboy red

huh, how times change

i hated reading that whole paragraph ngl, the frustration just kicked me in the boobs again

yeah nobody else got tornadoes, huh?

OH that makes also much more sense

bc she did prototyped them before she entered the medium.

i gotcha

man one of my favorite edits i made, rose hitting that meteor with a bat

are you

telling me

the exiles structures they arrived on were in the form of the items the kids used to enter the medium?

THE EGG

THAT EXPLAINS “EGG”

of course it was 413 years ago. that was never explained. simply vague “many years in the future....” but i expected no less from this

man serenity is the most wholesome character in hs no doubt

damn thought andy here was really gonna spoil us jade’s planet

okay cool, im glad i now have the layout to the whole “their stations went to the coordinates of the home button” shindig

man i honestly dont know what else to say besides “yeah cool recap” when i already pretty much know what went down? ofc im looking into each link and shit and adding in things when i see fit, but otherwise its just me going “ah good times” yknow

the whole meteor thing kinda makes sense now?

we’re still missing a few pieces of info but we’re getting there, folks

oh yeah that reveal

god jade and dave have it in the shits for parents huh

bro isnt the best and jade has a fucking dog

who lowkey

is doing better than bro

who knew a fucking dog is a better guardian than bro lmfao

dreambot = terminator. im telling you.

sorry im still on that idea and it will never leave unless i have the actual proof in front of me that its not going to become a thing. meaning, ive finished hs and theres still no terminator dreambot or either andrew himself gives me a canon letter with “the robot is not arnold, mackenzie, pls just let it be”

why is the entire game session highlighted

i swear to god if this is like to a second recap or smth of the whole game session i may fucking CRY

okay thank god its just a design of the skaia layout

which is honestly cool

idk why its blurry tho but i can at least see the layout now. which is honestly how i pictured it anyways.

yeah, john did make a huge impact in his friends’ life and i find that so fucking touching

yep. got that. everything loops around. cool.

especially when the trolls come in. god we havent even gotten to that recap portion yet, we havent even gotten to the INTERMISSION

pls can this be the halfway point to the recap

AT LEAST

so they were exiled after the whole jack: ascend thing, right? considering theyre way in the future. man no fucking wonder.

speaking of jack

man that whole dad and jack interaction was gold, ngl

OH THAT EXPLAINS THE RING THEN

and wow, andrew’s really giving us the best female content huh. andrew is the true god of equality and diversity.

also hey, i didnt realize that wow. so PM tricked the queen in showing the parking ticket to be able to take the present from jack. she’s a smart cookie, that one..

she and PM basically snitched on jack and it was the best thing that has happened to me so far

oh yeah okay

but why did AR panic over bec? bc thats something we havent learned yet, right?

anyways

exile town, the only town which should exist. facts. i dont make the rules.

noice

i love PM being queen. like.. thats canon now. shes an actual queen.

yeah that was a fun game and the consorts were cute

fuck yeah the dick head

hate them even more now that i know john was killed because of them

anyways, i wonder what dick move dave’s denizen did? maybe thats why its filled with lava bc the denizen was like “fuck it. make the land red. kill them all”

UH WHAT

WHAT

OH MY GOD HOW DID I JUST FORGET NANNAS LETTER LIKE THAT LMFAO

THEIR TITLES WERE THERE THE WHOLE TIME!

so i still dont know what they mean but i can gather it has something to do with the game giving them abilities. considering dave is the “knight of time” and he can go back in time. whack.

which means john can either control someones breathing or simply wind. and rose is... like that one girl in the winx club who does the sun shit. bc whenever i think of light powers, i think of stella.

and jade is space. witch of space.

nice

i have no idea what that means ngl

okay finally

we’re at the trolls

maybe this recap will end soon

i remember when i thought they were internet bullies

yesss

someone asked if i basically knew the trolls were on a different veil than the kids, so not presently with them, and i know lol. i was making a joke before btw. jsyk. dont think im incompetent to forget these things when sometimes i choose to forget it so i can add in a joke

it be like that, i annoy many

then again, pls dont assume im trying to say im not incompetent bc im also a fucking dumbass and DO forget shit and i have no excuse

imagine being so bored on the meteor, your last resort is speaking to aliens

ngl me if i was ever trapped on a meteor and could potentially do that

nah ik its bc its their only hope at helping with their session or whatever tf CG said to john. but there was BOUND to be a conference meeting between them like “okay guys. humans. that needs to be sorted out” and you just hear CG screaming in the background

i cant wait to meet them honestly bc im growing on all 4 of the ones we’ve seen already. and on top of that, i know what they look like and i know theyre not THAT bad, just a little on the crayy zee side sometimes

but theyre trying

OH MY GOD

I GET IT

FUCK

DOES THAT MEAN THE INTERMISSION IS *APART* OF THE MAIN FUCKING STORY??

AND SPADES IS WV FOR THE TROLLS

GOD D A M N

wow

i didnt expect that. but maybe the signs were there and i was just willingly choosing to ignore it or smth bc “haha couldnt be, right”

flashbacks to how i thought the trolls were humans

anyways, i guess he got his revenge on the kids version of “snowman” ie the black queen. but really

he did not have to do that. he could have cut off the finger and fled. but he decided “nah, lets implode her” so the loml is dead and all i got was a catchy song

i knew they were different types of “bullies” but now i just have to replace bullies with uhh

trolling strategies

anyways, this is cute. i love how they’ve come to be friends through mutual frustration. good part in the comic.

i wonder why it explodes

more importantly

....

terminator time?

this was my favourite sequences of dialogues in the whole entirety of homestuck. that is to say the back and forth thing that the kids went through to become a sort of wingman for the other.

absolutely gold.

all except AT’s rap.

GC was the only smart one with the linear shit

anyways fuck he still has to kill the denizen now but apparently its hard to beat for a sleeping dick head so

that will be fun for the future

john will probably need to kill A LOT of imps to get there

yeah rose is a badass bc she slayed that thing with needles of all things

OH and the white queen was the cursive

damn did AR ever do the whole guide process to a kid yet? maybe he will with dave, idk

oHHH

i fucking SEE

thats why he said DNA

to use it and replace all the life forms in the ocean

fucking neat wow

man that sounded sarcastic but im genuinely impressed bc all i got was bullshit as i read jaspersprites log

so thats the secret. it was “meow” bc that somehow translates to the genetic code she needs then. and that code apparently took fucking years to write as well. sick. whack. oh man.

derse is very pretty, ngl

and wow shit

“dave had already been awake in his tower all along without realizing it” how tf does someone just

do that, awake in both places at once

i didnt even fucking realize that fact as i read that pesterlog wow

ah yes, around the time things got confusing

okay so the capsule makes sense bc at first i didnt know it was a fucking time capsule so i got confused as to how it just apparated the game lmfao

the more you know i guess *twinkle*

i find that a neat concept tho

like the whole whatever you prototype affects the imps and shit

yeah so that whole “he had no advice” basically impacted his future

no shit dave wanted to reset things bc he probably thought he caused some sort of bad butterfly effect and killed his best friend

fuck calsprite thats all im gonna say

i read that first sentence and i think i got an aneurysm

and then everything else just made me sad again

i mean good thing he fucking did amirite?

we got pain at first but now we got cool shit like idk

fucking DAVESPRITE

damn idk how that works

will rose have like two minds now? or will this be some steven universe fusion shit?

“and understood their meaning” course well i fucking didnt so could you pls elaborate, rose?

okay but then what the fuck did he use that was inside the fucking box

bc i thought he used his knife?

im only every going to refer him as that now, thank you andrew

alright okay..

god that was a lot

i dont know what will happen once i click on those links but i am going to see that for myself bc i refuse to add ANYTHING ELSE

82 notes · View notes

m0onbean · 7 years ago

Text

skaterboy!AU yoon sanha

category: flOOOOOF note: dedicated to kaka~( @sanhasmoonbuns ) and completely inspired by this super cute photo so i couldn't resist writing this

at every school there's that "skater" squad that's considered really cool & considered popular

they would skate to school together, skate down the street to the mall, skate in the neighborhood, basically they just SKATE A LOT

and everybody at your school ADORESS THEM

"omg the skaters passed by my house this morning and one of the boys WINKED AT ME AIHFOAFIA"

"wow skaters r so hot"

"have you seen the skaters today ?1!1!! they ditched school omg"

"i'm taking skating lessons now"

but then you're just awkwardly there because you really DON'T care

i mean yeah skateboards are cool but in your opinion the skaters are just edgy teenagers who are rebellious and you don't really find any appeal in that

so one day you have to walk home and you do this thing where you always go another direction from the skaters so you can avoid them

but it's not like it's bc you hate them or anything

you just don't wanna be in the way when they SKRT SKRRTTTTT past you

so there you are walking home with your earplugs in when suddenly you hear that SKRT SKRTTTT

AND YOU'RE SHOOK BECAUSE NOW WAIT A MINUTE A SKATEBOARD'S GONNA RUN OVER ME GOSHDARNIT

and before you can move out of the way bOOM a person crashes into you from behind

and you stumble forward and scrape your knee and it's stinging really badly too

and then you hear a squeaky voice that sounds really worried and he's saying "ARE YOU OKAY" while rushing forward to examine your leg

and at first you're like "yeah i'm good" but then suddenly you get anGRY AND YOU'RE LIKE:

"WHY TF DID YOU RUN OVER ME COULDN'T YOU HAVE LIKE WARNED ME AT LEAST OR TRIED TO GET OUT OF MY WAY THIS SIDEWALK ISNT THAT NARROW"

and the boy which you now take time to look at eyes just widen a little

his hair is brunette and he has messy bangs that fall a little bit over his eyes

he's wearing this red snapback, earbuds are dangling from his pockets, and he's wearing a lot of wristbands

and then you realize huh this boy is actually really cutee!! wait no hes not lol-what am i saying

and he's lowkey scared but then he turns anGRY too and he's like

"WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE WALKING SMACK IN THE MIDDLE SO I WOULDNT HAVE CRASHED INTO YOU"

"SO THIS IS MY FAULT?"

"I MEAN, YEAH"

"WHAT, HOW IS IT-"

then you two start bickering over whose fault it was for a solid two minutes before you look down at your phone and realize that you should've been home by now

so you're like oH SHIT we'll continue this argument another day then you usain bolt down the road

the next day, you're at lunch with your friends and you're eating your lunch and socializing

when suddenly a band-aid falls in front of you and when you look up it's tHE SAME BOY FRMO YESTERDAY

and YOUR FRIENDS JUST KINDA LOOK AT HIM THEN LOOK AT YOU THEN LOOK AT HIM

AND THEYRE IN SHOCK BC WHATS A SKATER BOI DOING HERE

you notice that he's wearing a different outfit this time: backwards snapback and a green hoodie (still with those tangled earbuds though)

and his skateboard is still hanging loosely in his arms

so you give him the stinkeye and you're like "why are you here"

and i guess he wasn't expecting that response because he chokes on his words before coming up with "i got you a band-aid since you scraped your knee"

and you just scoff at him and show him your already bandaged knee

and he's like :O and he reaches his hand to take it back but you're like "no it's okay i'll just save it for the next time you crash into me"

the boy is obviously shocked but then he just laughs and says, "can't wait"

then he leaves not before winking at you and then you turn back to your table and your friends are ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) why didn't you tell us about this

so school ends and you're walking home alone AGAIN unfortunately

but this time sanha is lingering at the school gates while tossing his skateboard in his hand from boredom

then he looks up and sees you and he's like "oh (Y/N) wait up!" and he runs over to you

and you're just like ??¿?¿¿ how do you know my name

regardless, you allow him to walk with you anyways because it's lonely walking alone

and that's how you learn his name which is sanha

you and sanha chat about random shenanigans and argue over small things

"it's better hearing the bad news before the good news because when you hear the good news it'll lift your spirits and make you forget about the bad news and compensate for it"

"but that's false hope and expectation. it's better to hear the good news and THEN hear the bad news so you don't delude yourself into happiness"

and so this becomes a habit now; he would wait for you at the school gates and you two would walk together to your house. he'd watch you go in and skate away.

it becomes such a casual routine now and you actually quite enjoy it

one day you ask sanha why he doesn't hangout with his skater friends after school anymore

and he just casually says "eh they're no fun compared to you."

and your heart flutters a little bit at his words even though he probably didn't really mean it romantically

as time progresses you find your heartbeat accelerating each time you see him and you would become unusually shy around him

but you being a stubborn cookie, you would never admit to having a crush on sanha although all of your friends know it too well

all of your friends think you guys are dating because you're always seen wearing his snapbacks and hoodies and sharing earbuds in the hallways

plus you two would often hangout during lunch together and sneak off into the back of the school and just listen to music together

and all these little actions he does such as pushing a strand of hair behind your ear or teaching you how to ride a skateboard makes your heart go sssKKKKRRRAAAA

then on one fateful day as you two are sitting together during lunch sanha suddenly offers to visit the skate park together

and you're like sure! and then he says "ok let's go now" and you're like ب_ب wdym

"let's go to the skate park right now!" he says really cheerfully which is different from his usual chill and calm mood

but YOU'RE LIKE AIWHOADIFH DITCHING SCHOOL ?????

and at first you hit him playfully and scold him for even thinking about skipping school especially since his grades have been doing so well lately

and sanha feels down that you rejected him but then you look at his sad state and you're finally like OK WHATEVER LETS GO YOU LITTLE BRAT

and immediately sanha is (｡◕‿‿◕｡) again

using his past rebellious experinces, sanha is able to get past the locked school gates with you and your adrenaline is ruuuuuushhing because oh god what if we get caught!!!1!!

but when sanha holds your hand you calm down and you know that he'll protect you <3

once you two make it outside the gates, you both run away as fast as you can before somebody sees and by the time you reach the skate park you're both out of breath bc wow exercise amirite?

and at the skate park you two have lots of fun together (^̮^)

he holds your hands as you try to balance on the skateboard and even tho you're wobbling sanha laughs and encourages you to keep on trying

and once you can finally "ride" the skateboard he's never been so hYPED BEFORE

"yay now we can ride together!!11!!1!"

"sanha i dont have a skateboard lol"

"oh"

so when christmas comes up and sanha is waiting at the school gates you notice a pretty big present box in his hands

and you're like oh?? what's that

and guess what? it's a skateboard he bought for you and it's in a custom design of this really cool black and white sketch

and you're like in LOVE with it because it's so new and nice and pretty and you can't help yourself from hugging sanha really tightly bc wow thanks i love it omg

and you two finally skateboard together (although you occasionally trip and fall down but its ok bc sanha is always somehow there to catch you)

but you didn't forget about sanha's christmas gift!!!

you TOO got sanha a BRAND NEW SKATEBOARD since you notice that the one he uses is rlly old and is about to snap in half

but you put more thought into it by customizing his initials in it and choosing a plain design since sanha isn't into overly decorated things

and when you reveal it to sanha he almost cries because he spent all his money on your gift so he couldn't get a new skateboard but you got it instead for him

and then the next day he shows you that he carved your name onto the skateboard and you blush so hard and at this point your heart is soARRRING FLYINGGG

so in return you put the band-aid he gave you at lunch a long time ago onto the skateboard and he’s like bursting into laughter at the memory and he’s like obsessed with it

and obviously you can't hold your feelings in because you truly love sanha as a friend and as a partner

so one night at the skate park it's completely vacant and the sun is setting with pink clouds looming in the air

and you and sanha are laying down besides eachother in those big bowls used to do cool skateboard tricks while staring at the sky

and like always, you two are sharing earbuds and are listening to chill lofi hiphop music

until suddenly you turn around to face his face as he gets lost in the view above you guys

and you can see his eyes glowing like he's in a dream and you realize the beauty of love and how beautiful sanha is

and then he looks at you and just smirks "what are you staring at?

"you." you bluntly reply

sanha just chuckles and stares back at you, forgetting about the sky

"are you just now realizing how sexy i am?" sanha teases playfully

you scoff but can't help to smile yourself

then out of the blue you lean forward and peck him on his cheek quickly

aND SANHA fREEZES because WHAT JUST HAPPENED!?!1??

then you confess "i love you" before you can regret it

so he wraps his arms around you and pulls you tighter to him until your face is nuzzled in his hoodie

"i love you too."

“my knee still hurts tho i wont forgive you for that”

“you really know how to ruin the mood”

#astro #astro scenarios #astro imagines #kpop #mj #jinjin #eunwoo #moonbin #rocky #sanha #sanha fluff #sanha fanfictions

193 notes · View notes

daniedoodles · 6 years ago

Text

Danie’s Dilemmas Ep. 23: Kinda Sus

Let me just fucking TELL YOU about yesterday. But before I move forward, it’d probably be best if I gave the people involved an alias: apart from me, there were three other people: my friend, Travis (her guy), Bruno (the other guy).

To make any sense of what the hell went down, I’m going to start from the beginning. On Monday, my friend played it off as if she and I were heading downtown on Thursday, and that if Travis was around the area around the time that we would be there, he should come and join us and bring Bruno along with him. We thought that this was a good idea initially because (1) my friend and I live on completely opposite ends of the city from Travis and Bruno, (2) the thought of finally meeting these two guys who have single handedly swooned us was riveting in itself. When Travis finally responded, agreeing to the meet up, we got all excited and shit, as you would expect from two teenage girls, but we were more so wanting to puke or shit or do both at once without knowing which way to direct our inner forces. I got so nervous that I lived Tuesday, the following day, as if it were Wednesday and I was panicking about what the hell the plan was because I thought that it was Thursday the next day. That was badly worded, but I hope whoever’s reading this still gets what I mean.

Come Wednesday night (the actual Wednesday), you shouldn’t be surprised to know that I had a fucking panic attack lmao. My mantra of “don’t set expectations” was not helping by any means, instead it just let it sink further in that “holy shit, we’re meeting these guys tomorrow what the fuck”. My friend was having her own version of a panic attack. To cut it short, we were rendered into an anxious mess. And so the plan was decided: I’d go to her place at 11am, take the bus to the station together (we chilled at Tim’s for a bit because it was too early to head directly downtown), then set out at 12:30 to meet them. We really debated just cancelling THAT last minute, but somehow we still managed to suck it tf up and get our asses on that train. Not easy. We felt queasy. A bitch (me) couldn’t breathe, and my friend was just about ready to puke her entire stomach out. The train ride felt like an eternity, until finally it was our stop. We waited anxiously for their train to arrive. It was my friend that spotted them the second they got off. The panic fell as quickly as it rose in that moment. We managed to wave, meet in the middle, and greet each other in haste. I supposed all our minds went haywire that second - the air felt still until my friend broke the silence with a “now what?�� to which Bruno quickly suggested that we walk this one specific street. Friendly, I thought. We split off into what I guess you could call “couples”: myself and Bruno leading the way, while my friend and Travis brought up the rear. I can’t talk much on part of my friend’s silent conversations with her guy, but I can tell you that my conversation with Bruno was oddly focused on the weather. The small talk was.. average, I would say. It didn’t last very long, neither did this whole boy-girl grouping. When we were walking in the middle of the street and Bruno and I were ahead, my friend told me to walk faster, but instead I moved to walk right next to her and Bruno went to walk right next to Travis. We looked as if we were in a band. All wearing black. All wearing doc martens (with the exception of one Travis with shoes that were one size too small). Chains. Green. The idea was badass. I whisper over to my friend every once in while going “feel better?” and she’d answer with “yeah, much”. It was calm, but very much separated. Perhaps it was because our comforts were too close within grasp (friends), or maybe none of us wanted to face, much less acknowledge, the tension amongst us... for whichever reason, a majority of our conversations were limited to whispers and the occasional outburst of laughter between my friend and I... and Travis and Bruno. The high was brief, that much I can say.

My friend, although we established earlier that should stray away from milk tea, given the risks, she was eager to put a stop to the separation and called out that she wanted to go to the milk tea place in Chinatown. We turn around and head back to Chinatown, where this long line of people waited their turn to get their order. I didn’t want one myself so I took on the responsibility of saving us a seat, not that I even had to really. Most of the people that bought something just went ahead and left. I did anyway, because I told my friend that maybe it would be a good opportunity to buy us some time to think of what the hell to do afterwards. I waited for what felt like an entire hour for them to finally get what they asked for and accompany me at the table. In the time I had in between getting there and finding seats, I had enough time to write an episode on my phone (I won’t be posting it because it was basically me just swearing and going over my fucking head), and apparently I looked bored as hell. Not wrong. The conversations were as slow and unreliable as going on a video call in the absence of good service. It was unreliable in the sense that once one question was asked and an answer was given, there wasn’t an immediate follow up, much less an enthusiasm to pursue the topic present any further. Too many awkward silences. Lots of piercing stares that I could not for the life of me maintain. I was seated facing Bruno, while my friend and Travis were facing each other around the square table. The most I could do was give Bruno a brief glance because there was something about his stare that was not in the least welcoming, rather uninviting or... could I go as far as to say that it looked mischievous?? My personality and my voice were actually not there. As far as I’m concerned, I wasn’t really there. Seriously. Have you ever seen me not talking someone’s ear off?? Have you ever heard of “Danie was so quiet”? bitch tf. Whoever that was, it ain’t me. Sure, I’d ask questions here and there about them and their sport, but the extent of my conversation skills ended there and were definitely not up to par. My friend, for the second time, who would marry a milk tea if she could, didn’t finish her milk tea again. Bad omen. We set out again, for the mall this time, just to keep things moving or whatever.

We get to the store that we usually enter to get into the main part of the mall until Travis stays behind, and all we hear is Bruno calling saying “yo hold up”. My friend and I get back out, when Travis goes: “you guys go ahead, I just gotta do something (or was it meet someone?)” kinda sus. We head in without him anyway, pretending to browse through the clothes that were well beyond our spending capabilities, until eventually we drift into the aisles of accessories where my friend whispers a question to me: “you should really talk to Bruno” and I said: “you don’t think I’ve been trying? I’ve been wracking my brain this entire day for things to ask of even say but I’m coming up short every time because all of it has been done through text”. After twenty minutes of fruitless browsing, Bruno finally comes up to us and goes “are you guys gonna buy anything”

my friend and I: I thought we were waiting for Travis?

Bruno: oh, he’s been waiting outside for a couple of minutes.

... well shit.

So we’re finally out, heading over to Pandora for my friend’s mom. When we left, we realized that Bruno was nowhere to be found (turns out he went to the washroom). We kept walking anyway, and this time, to H&M. Travis insisted on waiting outside just in case Bruno came looking for us. While we were in the store, we couldn’t help discussing how badly it was already going and how much we wanted to just leave, right then and there. But my friend brought me back to my senses by saying that it would have been a pretty shitty move on our part to leave without a word. Fair enough. I was briefly blinded by the desire to escape the awkwardness. At this point we rated the day a 4/10 and a 3/10, respectively, with mine being the latter. Never have a been in a situation that I so desperately wanted to flee from. As soon as we got back outside to join them, we saw that they were just about to take a seat, but they stood back up and started walking with us to the gardens. It wasn’t long before we reached the restrooms, where my friend and I, once again, resumed our discussions on the suspicious atmosphere. We couldn’t find them at first on our way out and we were sort of upset saying all kinds of shit (hopefully quietly) like “guess we better find them.. see them anywhere..?”. We didn’t stop walking or anything. Then I sensed that there were people that were walking really close behind us, I turn around and tell my friend “oh wait, they’re right behind us”. She jumped. My mind immediately went to “oh fuck, what if they heard us talking about them??”

The walk to the gardens was slow. That’s another thing. They were both taller than us, yet they walked so much slower like shit.. they really be taking their sweet as time. It was so hard to resist the need to walk briskly but it was more awkward to walk faster and have them fall behind, so we endured the snail’s pace. We sat next to this group of people that were rehearsing a dance, to which Travis made the comment of “at least it ain’t some gay shit like fuckn badminton”

...

Low blow, but honestly I was expecting the comment to come sooner in the day. I think we were all just desperate to laugh about something so I joined them. I didn’t really mind that they were shitting on my sport, considering it’s nothing new and it is (to an extent) funny. We were on and off with the discussions on differences between the north and south high schools that we attended, how the north was dominated by southeast Asians, while the south had its healthy mix of all races, to say the least. This was when I sort of noticed how Bruno, who was supposedly my “guy”, kept directing questions towards my friend. I wasn’t really bothered (yet). Travis mentioned that he had to meet someone at the train station because he had a client whom he was selling his shirt to and he gave us the option of either accompanying him or just waiting for him because he said it would be brief. My friend tried making it my responsibility to decide on where we stand with this but all I said back was “up to you”. I forgot she couldn’t say no lmao. So it was settled that we would all head to the station together to meet with this buyer. When we got there, Bruno turned back to my friend and I, standing really close, chuckling to himself. My natural instinct told me to back up (so I did). The chuckles continued and he said “what’s good? you guys been quiet”. I don’t even think I said anything. And if I did, I was thankfully cut off by Travis who announced that the deal was done and that we should go to the library, which is where we spent a majority of our time. We sat there, in a table by the window with a clear view of the train station.. the mockery. My desire to leave was unwavering. I figured we’d have a game to play or something to keep our minds busy while we thought of conversation starters, but apparently someone stole the UNO cards and that was the only game worth playing. Again, silence. My body language wasn’t exactly helpful. Halfway through the night I noticed how I always had my arms crossed. Closed off. I suppose in the back of my head, that’s what I felt like I should have been doing, but on the surface, I was only doing that because I was cold as shit. I also had a bad habit of turning my phone on and off, pretending to text, or sometimes texting my friend who was sitting right next to me, or texting my own mother about how terribly the day was going. I was aware, but that didn’t stop me lmao. Bruno kept asking my friend questions, complimenting her and so on. I vividly remember my thought process in that very moment. It went something like:

- wtf why isn’t he asking me anything

- it’s cause he always insists on talking everyday, what’s left there to even discuss?

- is it even worth getting worked up about this if you weren’t interested to begin with?

- okay, it kinds bothers me... lol nah, nvm. I’m too lazy to pursue pettiness.

So I laughed to myself, thinking, “how pathetic am I”. I didn’t really want to go down that road so I distracted myself by purposely zoning out by staring out the window, counting how many trains we’ve let pass without us in it, on the way back home. Bruno’s glances were all mostly directed towards my friend. At that point I didn’t even care. Just thought it was worth mentioning. Then LOW AND BEHOLD Travis asks me if I remembered this one girl that we both knew from our past. Although it didn’t last long, I was pretty accustomed to how brief one topic started and concluded. I tried asking more about what happened between the two of them because apparently there was something there, but he closed it off. I respect it, I guess. I tried asking them about another girl that Travis, Bruno, and I all mutually knew but again, short-lived. I found out some shocking stuff, but not the kind worth telling here. A couple more questions passed by like “are your guys’ parents strict?”, “do you have a curfew?”, “do you guys like hard liquor? - what’s your favourite drink?”, etc. etc. etc.

The funniest part of being in the library is hands down when Bruno took the guitar that was free for anyone to play. When he returned to the table with the instrument, it wasn’t long before we all saw that one string was severed. Also, keep in mind that Bruno is a lefty. The guitar is made for right-handed people. Needless to say, the chords were obviously reversed, the guitar wasn’t tuned properly and it took every nerve in my body to not burst out into my ugliest cackle.

Bruno: *strums guitar*

Travis: ... dude, just no. stop

my friend and I: *shaking and about to break out into laughter*

Travis and Bruno were jokingly discussing how much money they could get out of the guitar if they sold it:

Travis: this could probably be like $100

Bruno: I see this as a solid $80

Also Bruno: *puts down guitar* *hits it on something hard*

Travis: nah bro, that shit’s $50 now

lol what.

6:00pm could not come sooner. Thank goodness my friend saw the time and pretended as if my mom wanted us both home immediately, otherwise I wouldn’t have known how else to get out of the situation without it being even more uncomfortable. Slowly we make our way back to the station. My friend was determined to get a photo with them for her streaks, so we all huddled over her phone and she quickly took the photo, only to have her hair cover my face. Whatever. I was no longer phased. Their train came before ours. The goodbyes were as haste as the greetings:

Travis: “it was nice meeting you guys - bye”

There was a quick exchange of glances with Bruno (again, I broke it off)

Bruno (hesitantly): bye

Me (hesitantly): bye

And their train was off. The moment it left, my friend and I could do nothing but stare at each other and go “that was painful”.

The hunger was settling between the two of us, sat our asses down at Wendy’s and scarfed down both of our burgers. Well, more like inhale. On the bus to my place I somehow managed to make my friend cry because I got her to visualize Travis as her grad date, in her ideal e-boy attire: a suit, but never without the chain. It’ll never cease to amaze me, the sorts of things that trigger the waterworks in her.

We ended the night at my place where I read her cards and was immediately disheartened that they hadn’t changed. It didn’t help at all that she continued to sob at how beautiful her man looked in the one photo she saw of him on Instagram, and that it was followed by another spam post with the caption that just ready “This day was-”.

I got a text from Bruno at 2am, saying his usual “goodnight”, only that this time, it was also accompanied by his vague thoughts on what happened that day, which he described as “unorganized” but that he was “glad that we all experienced it together”. I chose not to respond because too soon because (1) I was already on a call with someone, recollecting the series of events that unfolded and (2) I was just not in the mood after how badly the hang out went in my opinion. I didn’t get to respond until this morning. Oddly enough, I don’t feel all that bad about it.

Since this episode is long enough, let me sum up my thoughts in jot notes:

- I felt a lot like an afterthought. By this I mean that Bruno would ask my friend something, then ask me “what about you”, which to me gave off the impression that he thought “oh shit, right, her. I almost forgot she was here.”

- I have been asked by a couple of my friends if I actually like Bruno, but to be honest... I think for a majority of the time, I was somehow forcing myself to like him for no reason. That’s done now though. I think after I realized how varied and separate our lifestyles were, I cut the shit. It’s even difficult picturing ever seeing him again in person after all that just happened. If anything, he’s a friend. But definitely nothing more.

- my personality FAILED me that entire day. I’m still shocked by how I kept to myself a majority of the night. I’m blaming it on the fear of embarrassing both my friend and I. Had I not done that, it would’ve probably went a little better in my eyes.

- double dates are NOT a good idea, unless everyone knows everyone equally. Or rather, everyone is just as much as stranger to the other. That way the ball keeps rolling, the questions keep coming. But really, if I were you, don’t be deceived by the thought of how great of an idea it would be to bring your friends along to a hang out that you could just as easily call a “date”. You get too attached to your friend and it completely eliminates your opportunity to get to know the other person because like I said, your friend in this scenario is like your security blanket. And as long as you don’t let that go, you can’t actually fully embrace what’s new and right in front of you.

- I have no intention of repeating this hang out, unless they ask us and not the other way around. Even then, I’ll probably have my doubts still.

- PS there was also that part in the very beginning when Bruno tried saying my name and he somehow came up with “DaYknee” and “Dahknee” (second one is correct btw) and Travis just goes: oh.. my god, while my friend says: no one even calls her that

- I was about to say that people call me Danielle mostly but some of the people in my (I hesitate to say IB classes) classes call me Danie as well. That was another funny thing.

All in all, by the end of the day, I’d say it was a 5/10.

The highlight of yesterday was probably my call with a friend, who now doesn’t even recall this whole story after I told him about it during the call.

If there’s anything about Thursday that I can say... here it is:

bro, das craaazy.

And a couple of months from now and I reminisce with my friend, we’d say:

remember dat?

keep up, will ya. ;)

#Danie'sDilemmas

0 notes