#yesterday I drove around for an hour with my husband and we just talked

[skinreflectsthesun]

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[pbandjesse]

Today was a sleepy day. And the first day of fall! I thought yesterday was but James says it was actually today. And it really felt like fall which was lovely.

I struggled though. I was really really tired. I slept okay but not the best. When I got up I would go and wash my face and tried to feel okay but I just felt winded and dizzy. James was making our bed when I came out. I got a kiss and finished getting ready.

James was making cornbread and would make me an omelette for breakfast. We would hang out on the couch but I was just. Exhausted. I just laid on the couch and felt very very low. James kept asking me questions about what I wanted to do. And I couldn't come up with answers. I didn't want to answer questions. I didn't want to think.

James suggested the zoo but I don't really want to go on a weekend day because there will be to many people. And I really didn't think I could handle that much walking. So instead James suggested we get the hammock and go to Loch Raven. Which honestly was that I wanted anyway. We had talked about it a few days ago and I just wanted to lay in my hammock with my husband and rest by the water.

We brought a blanket. And James brought a book and I brought my knitting. I wouldn't get any knitting done. But I am still glad I brought it.

When we got out there James parked us near the trails but we probably should have just parked on the side of the road like everyone else. We realized pretty quickly that the water front felt way farther then it had in the past. I also did not wear good shoes and the soles had no grip and I slipped three different times. James was holding my hand so I didn't fall but it still shocked me.

We eventually found an excellent spot, right where the trees opened to the water and the view was beautiful. We hung up the hammock and sorted out getting comfortable in it together.

It took us a while to find the right spot. The first one my head was lolling around to much. The next one I was getting squeezed to hard. The last one worked out best. I was laying with my legs over James's lap. And while I didn't fall asleep. I dozed under the blanket for almost two hours. It was great. The temperature was cool but the blanket made it so nice. There were bird sounds. And gun sounds form the skeet shooting happening on the right side of the water, but that didn't bother me. Sometimes people would walk past and I liked hearing them talking and laughing. But mostly I just loved laying with James. They read their book and I rested and it was honestly the perfect day.

I thought about how this time next year we will have a little baby to hang out with us too. I hope they will enjoy coming to the park and laying around. Them being near the water would make me a bit nervous but we will figure that out. I am nervous about them enjoying our activities and finding what they like be sure they are their own person. But also I am excited about that too.

I told James that I was very comfortable but we should probably head out soon. My stomach hurts and I wanted to get a late lunch. They had brought up going to Pepe's, which is a counter service diner we like that we call "peepees". James asked if that's still what he wanted and I did so we drove back towards there.

It was very quiet there when we got in. The teen who took our order looked very familiar but I don't know why. I got a grilled cheese. James got a patty melt. The teen did not know what that was but we figured out how to order it and it all worked out.

We sat in the dining room on our phones just quietly sitting together. And when our food came I would draw out a picture of how I want to baby room to be oriented. James would work on that later one. I appreciate them taking charge of that.

When we finished eating we stopped at Dunkin for donuts. And then home.

I was in a much better mood when we got back. The caffeine and carbs helped. And gave me a few hours of pretty solid energy. When we got back here I would work on putting summer clothes away and taking other things out of storage. I did not put my clothes away nicely though in the storage box. Lost the drive for that, so that's not ideal but I'll get to it soon and it's not a huge deal. I also would pick out some sweaters to hang out for cooler days.

James was mostly downstairs working on things. I would come down to put some stuff away. I swapped out my rotation of shoes. And piled up my renfair stuff for storage. And I felt like I was doing a good job getting stuff done.

Eventually I would lay down. Tried out my new pregnancy pillow. And it's awesome. It's so wildly comfortable I am almost mad I didn't have one before. I would like a silky or fluffy pillow case for it, I find the jersey material a little rough on my face. But besides that it's awesome and I'm so glad I found it.

I have been hanging out in bed for the majority of the evening. I had some of the donut holes I got. And James made me dumplings for dinner. And I think now I'm going to go take a bath before getting ready for bed.

Tomorrow Sweetp has his vet appointment and then I'm working an event. It's my first solo one. I'm only a little nervous. Mostly just for arming the building but beyond that I'm just looking forward to it. It will be a good night. And I will do a good job! I hope.

I mostly just really hope I feel better tomorrow. That I can sleep easy tonight and feel like myself together. I hope you are feeling good and had a nice weekend. Sleep well everyone.

[angiezidler205]

Dinner Date

Valentine's Day Rockbert Special fanfic

Rocko just got home fast and ran up the stairs to shower. Heffer just told him at work that Melba is single now and she's going to the diner alone. This is his chance to walk in unexpectedly, sit next to her, start a conversation, and ask her out!! He grew excited as he can finally be with the girl of his dreams! He finished showering and rushed to the mirror and fixed his hair. He had to look perfect! He must be perfect!! He grabbed a grocery bag and pulled out some mints and cologne. He sprayed himself everywhere and made sure nothing was left out. He shoved at least five breath mints in his mouth and felt his mouth freeze. He rushed out of the restroom and got in his room to put on a nice suit. He then rushed downstairs to feed Spunky and give him water, then left the door. He got into his car and drove off in speed, melting the ice in his mouth. 

Meanwhile a certain Beaver was at a restaurant across from the diner. Norbert was sitting in the booth for about an hour, waiting for his blind date to come by. He was wearing a nice suit with his hair combed nicely. Yet.. Waiting for an hour in the booth is driving him nuts to where he fiddled with his hair and messed it up. The embarrassment was slowly kicking in due to everyone staring at him with sympathy. The waitress soon came by, “Are you ready to order sir?”. Norbert shook his head, “Not yet. Still waiting for my date to come in. I hope nothing happened to him.”. The waitress nodded sadly and left the beaver alone. Norbert rested his face on his hand and decided to never make a dating account again. He was supposed to meet up with a tall handsome kangaroo, but he guessed that the guy had Other things to do.. 

Rocko finally made it to the diner and looked to see Melba sitting there reading the menu. He grew excited and looked around hoping to find something to give to her. He found a happy flower shop and parked at the parking lot and walked inside. He looked around and noticed the old couple looking out the window. “Uhhh excuse me? I was hoping I could buy some flowers for someone!”, Rocko politely asked. The woman looked at him and smiled, “Ohh what a handsome gentleman you are. We have all sorts of flowers here for any guy to buy for the lovely partner.”. Rocko smiled and noticed a bouquet of lavender roses. “How much for those roses?”, Rocko asked while pulling out the bouquet. The color reminds him of those amethyst eyes he had. His heart stopped at this. Melba doesn't have amethyst eyes… He then realized that he was thinking about Norbert's eyes. The lady smiled at this, “Thinking of someone dearie? My husband makes the exact expression when he thinks of me. Or his favorite food.”. The old man chuckled, “Mostly you darling. I can't help but remember the day I laid my eyes on you.”. Rocko watched as the couple giggled at each other. 

Norbert sighed as he looked at his watch and noticed it's been over an hour since he got here. It was already getting late and the restaurant closed soon. He looked at the diner and thought about going there instead. Yet he remembered that the diner closes at the same time as the restaurant. He felt eyes on him and noticed some couples talking about that he deserves better. Of course he does!! He has to get out of his comfort zone and try to move on. Try to find a different partner to be with. Someone kind, loving, understanding, sweet, shy, chubby, and with sapphire eyes. Just like Rocko.. His eyes widened and face grew red as he thought about his best friend. Well… More of a crush. He's been falling for him almost every time Rocko does something silly or super sweet.

He'd honestly wanted to ask him out before, but was afraid that he wasn't interested. He always talked about Melba and just yesterday he was talking about how Melba came back to town to visit her family. He sounded in love and kept complimenting her. His heart shattered at this and knew that he'd never be like her. Normally he'd fight but he didn't want to go through the same tango again with TreeFlower… That always ended with his heart breaking bit by bit. So it's useless to fight for the Wallaby.. He needs to find another Wallaby. I mean. Another partner!!! 

Rocko left the shop holding a bouquet of roses and walked towards his car. He got inside and began to drive towards the diner. All of a sudden something catches his eye. A familiar blonde hair in a booth at the fancy restaurant. He parked his car in a large parking lot that can be used for Both the diner and restaurant. He rushed towards the window and saw Norbert there looking so.. Sad.. Why is he sitting at a restaurant alone and dressed up? He then looked at the candle and noticed how it was already burnt out at the bottom. He's been in there for too long… Was he supposed to meet someone?! Why is he finding a new date? Is he tired of hanging out with him?? He had the sudden urge to go in there and pretend to be his date yet he looked behind him to see Melba already eating. His heart clenched and his mind raced. Why is this so hard?! Norbert is already going on a date! But he's been stood up! Melba is single now! But she doesn't love him! 

Rocko's eyes widened at this. Melba doesn't even love him at all. She only saw him as a friend and nothing more. Last time Melba saw his confession, she ran off… Norbert though… He loved talking to him, laughing at his jokes, making silly nicknames for him, and how he was himself. Rocko felt his heart flutter at Norbert's smile everytime he talks about a funny memory. He rushed inside his car and drove back to the flower shop and ran inside. He placed the bouquet down on the counter, “I need a bouquet that compliments amethysts please.”. 

Norbert grew tired of waiting and checked the time. Two hours before closing… He's been here for two hours already and if he keeps waiting it'll be four hours instead. He was just about to get up until the door slammed open and he turned around to see a bouquet of beautiful flowers in front of him. “I'm so sorry for being late!! My boss had me stay for another two hours and my phone was shut off! I hope these flowers can make up for the time you've waited here!”, Rocko panted while looking down. Norbert's eyes widened and his face flushed red, “R-Rocko?? What are you doing here??”. Rocko leaned close and whispered gently, “Just go with it. I'll explain later on.”. Norbert nodded and took the bouquet, “It's ok Rocko. I had a feeling that your boss was behind this scenario.”. Rocko smiled and sat in front of him, “I uhhh. T-Those flowers.. I-I got the ones that compliment your beautiful eyes. I mean! Your amethyst eyes!”. 

Norbert stifled a laugh and heard a few couples awe at this. The waitress finally came back and smiled wide, “Are you two ready to order?”. Norbert nodded, “The special please with red wine.”. The waitress nodded and rushed to the kitchen. Rocko then looked at him and tilted his head in concern, “How long were you here?”. Norbert shrugged, “About two hours. My date was supposed to be here but I guess he bailed on me.. It's fine tho… Gives me a good reason to not use a dating site.”. Rocko felt anger take over but calmed himself, “Well he is not a gentleman at all. He should be ashamed of himself for treating a beautiful beaver like yourself. You honestly deserve better Norbert. Not that hunk of garbage! Oh my! S-Sorry I don't know what got over me.”. Rocko looked down embarrassed and ashamed for saying these things. Norbert on the other hand was blushing up a storm. He felt his heart race at how Rocko called him beautiful. He shook the thought out of his head. He's just doing this out of pity, or to probably get free food.. No! Rocko wouldn't use him for that!

“Appreciate the awful defini-shion of Roderick, but you didn't have to replace him. I was going to leave myself and go home.”, Norbert calmly said. Rocko shook his head, “I wanted to Norb.”. Norbert chuckled and looked out the window, “Listen Rocky Road. You didn't need to do this. By the look of your outfit, you were about to do something before me being stood up changed your mind. Why not just go do what you were going to do and I'll take the food to go.”. Rocko felt a bit hurt by this but he had a feeling Norb would act that way. He was stood up, of course he'd be depressed about it. He sighed and slid to the side to get up. Norbert felt his heart slowly begin to break but he felt him sit next to him and pull him into a hug. 

“To be honest, I was going to go to the diner to meet Melba and try to win her heart. I thought that I'll have a chance to be with her and maybe just be her new partner. Yet.. I realized now that I was. I wasn't in love with her anymore.”, Rocko said softly as he felt his heart race. Norbert stiffed at this a bit and his heart raced. Rocko continued, “It was a lost cause because she'll never love me as I did for her a long time ago. So I went to you instead because I realized something..”. Rocko felt his heart racing and his palms grew sweaty. Ok here goes. He's going to confess then try to ask him out! Norbert felt his heart racing even faster and he turned around looking at the Wallaby full of hope. 

“Here's your meals and red wine! Oh! Sorry, are we interrupting??”, The waitress said, a bit embarrassed. Rocko immediately shook his head, “N-No no it's ok! Uhhh N-Norbert are you ready to eat?”. Norbert was a bit frustrated that they were interrupted but he was starving. He nodded as he got ready to eat and noticed the large spaghetti, with garlic rolls on the side, and red wine poured into their glasses. Norbert saw the candle getting replaced and lit up. As the waiters left them alone, Rocko held up a glass in front of Norbert. Norbert smiled and grabbed his glass and lifted it up. “I.. I wanted to thank you for accepting me for who I am. When I'm with you Norb. I don't feel so alone or walking on eggshells. I can be myself and talk about my modern life with you without any judgment. I feel more myself when I'm with you and I.. Wanted to thank you for that.”, Rocko said while smiling softly at him. Norbert felt his heart melt and looked into his eyes, “I wanted to thank you too, Rocko. You are the most caring, sweetest, gentle Wallaby I ever met since the bar. To be honest.. After the break-up with TreeFlower I was lost. I couldn't find a way out of the dark room until. You came into my life and opened the door to freedom. I never felt so happy before and I can finally let go of that past and focus on myself for once. And it's all thanks to you.”. 

Rocko felt his face flush a bit and smiled warmly, “Well. To us then. For helping each other with difficult situations.”. Norbert chuckled and tapped his glass against his, “To us. For understanding and making each other laugh like there's no tomorrow.”. They both drank the wine and began to eat the large plate of spaghetti. They both had a blast at the restaurant. Rocko tried to feed Norbert the meatball, but immediately Norbert said something about “You would give me your balls”. Immediately Rocko ate it and looked away red, while Norbert laughed while trying to take it back. Norbert tried to make a sandwich out of the rolls but it failed miserably, earning a loud laugh from the Wallaby. Then they were eating the spaghetti and nearly met in a kiss but Rocko had to slurp up the remaining noodle, taking the one in Norbert's mouth as well. Norbert had to bring that up and laughed how Rocko grew more red at that. 

“Hey it's not that bad! I can give you a real quick kiss if you want Rock-a-Noodle!”, Norbert laughed and made kissing noises to him. Rocko pushed him away softly and laughed, “Not in here Norbert!”. They both froze at this and Norbert felt his face flush. Did he just say that he'll give him a real kiss?! Rocko felt his face flush more red. Did he just say not in here?! They looked at each other and then looked away embarrassed. Rocko slowly looked at Norbert and noticed the way the candle light made his hair glow brighter than before. He wanted to kiss him yet they weren't even dating yet! He wanted to ask him out, but he didn't want to be pushy! Norbert felt his heart skip a few beats and his face burning. He wanted to just grab him by the shirt and kiss him already! Yet he didn't want to be demanding or pushy about it. But it wouldn't hurt to ask him out right? Norbert took a deep breath and turned to face him.

Rocko's heart stuttered as the light made his eyes shine a bit brighter and the flowers behind him made them look more beautiful. He felt himself get closer to him. Norbert stared into those lovely sapphire eyes to where he hadn't even noticed the Wallaby getting closer to him. Rocko felt his eyes grow lower as he was about to pucker his lips but. Their noses bonked each other a bit and their faces grew more red at this. Rocko backed away quickly and covered his nose, “S-Sorry!”. Norbert was surprised at this and rubbed his nose softly. Was Rocko about to? Rocko looked away embarrassed, “I apologize for uhh b-bonking our noses together! Uhhh I was. I mean. I was trying to. Not to be demanding or pushy I just!”.

The waitress came back and smiled, “Here's your bill! And the restaurant will be closing in about five minutes. Would you like for me to give you a box to go?”. Norbert nodded, “Maybe a red wine to go as well please?”. He was about to give the waitress the cash but Rocko gave her his card. The waitress smiled and left with his card and Norbert looked at him shocked, “I was going to get that Rocko!”. Rocko looked at him, “I uhh. A-As your date I insist t-that I pay for our meals.”. Norbert felt his heart flutter at his silly shenanigans and smiled, “You are such a gentleman. But I'm placing the tip down. I owe that waitress a lot after everything.”. Rocko nodded and looked down. He nearly kissed his lips. He was about to kiss his lips!! That was too forward! The waitress and back with his card, boxes, and a new wine bottle. Norbert gave her twenty for being very patient and as the waitress left happy they got ready to leave. 

Norbert smiled as they exited, “Thank you for a wonderful time Rocko. I hope you make it home safe.”. Rocko tilted his head, “You're leaving already?”. Norbert looked at him confused, “You had more plans?”. Rocko felt his face flush and looked down, “I-I was wondering if you.. Wanted to come over to my house and uhh. S-Share some wine together!”. Norbert was even more confused and thought about it. His eyes then widened and his face flushed more red. He smiled a bit and walked up to him, “I'd like that.”. He kissed Rocko's cheek, the same spot he kissed when they first met, and walked towards the parking lot. Rocko felt his cheek and smiled. He then followed him, not noticing the two old couples stared at them smiling. “What a lovely couple. I told you that he loved that beaver.”, The wife said as she kissed her husband's head. Her husband chuckled, “You really are a love match professional.”. 

[a-captions-blog]

[Image descriptions: 1. Post by u/CountryMamaLynn in r/lgbt that says:

My some came out [caps] need advice [end caps] If this post seems a little messy its because I'm typing this out quick. Yall This is a new account I made just now beacuse i need to vent and I'm not sure where else to post this and my family follow my real account. My son 15 just came out yesterday as gay to my husband and my husband kicked him out well I was at work! I got a painiced phone call from my baby telling me everything and let me tell yall I was pissed I left work early and drove over to my house where I saw my baby boy sitting on the curb with his clothes and shit all across the damn lawn and a screaming as if now soon to be ex husband who is not the man I thought I married!!! I gave that bastard a piece of my mind and told him that if he cant be a man and support his son then he can kiss my ass and find someone else to pay his bills. I shoved my boys stuff in the back of my truck and went to hotel that I'm in right now cause my parents cant pick us up till Monday so we can stay with them. I dont know much about this whole gay thing so what can I do to make my kid fell excepted???? [caps] edit [end caps] I took y'alls advice I pay for the house so that mother fucker will be out in a few days and my son will be back in his home. I bought my son a bunch of pride stuff! Apparently hes had a boyfriend for around 7 months now and I'm getting to meet him over facetime tomorrow and I'm so excited!!!! I'm doing everything I can to make him feel loved. Out of everything that's happened the most heart breaking thing was my son saying "I'm sorry I'm crying mom I just need to be strong" I told him that he doesn't need to be strong he needs to be loved and that I'll do anything I can to make him feel that way. God this is the hardest thing in my life

2. Post by the same user that says: Meeting my baby boys bf tomorrow [row of exclamation points]

I’m soooo excited y’all, were meeting over facetime and I’m so happy I’m knitting my son a rainbow blanket and aaaa it’s turning out perfect!

3. Post by the same user that shows the meme of a person yelling at a cat at dinner. The person is labelled, ‘My ex husband trying to kick my son out for being gay.’ The cat has been edited to have a rainbow hat and scarf and is labelled, ‘My son and I kicking him out cause I own the house.’

4. Post by the same user that says: Update yall Mark's reaction (read the previous posts if you're confused) (Incase you dont know this is the after math of me kicking out my now ex husband after he tried to kick out my baby boy for being gay while I was at work.) I called him and very "Kindly reminded" him who owns the house and pays the bills and he was screaming about how "You need me woman, you cant just kick me out whore" and asked to meet in person. So I did but I dont trust him so I brought my adorable camo baseball bat just in case things went south so we met up in front of the house and he was hooting and hollering about how "I was already screwing a different woman so I dont need you!" And obviously this upset me but then I remembered that I dont have to put up with this crap so I told him it's time to haul ass before i make him and he started crying like a baby begging me to let him stay and saying " you'll never find another man like me" and I told him that is the whole point of me leaving him. So he finally left after hours crying like a bitch and now my son and I have lots of extra space!

5. Post by the same user that says: Hay y’all Mama Lynn update I was talking to my son who if you haven’t seen my other posts came out recently, and found out I might not be just a straight ally! I assumed all straight ladys were also just as attracted to other ladys as they were men and I never really thought about it till now but turns out I might be bi??? Is that the right word?? Thanks for all the love n support!!

6. The ‘good for her’ meme of the woman holding a cupcake. \End descriptions]

[Plain text: right at the beginning when she's like how do I help my son feel loved and accepted I'm here shouting [caps] “Queen you already did that by taking his side and leaving that no good husband for having the audacity to kick your baby out.” [end caps] And Good for her! this is the only response to a man who kicks out a child. \End PT]

[mads-weasley]

Coming Home: Part Two

Andrew!Peter Parker x Wife!Reader

Coming Home Masterlist

Main Masterlist

SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME SPOILER ALERT

A/N: Wow. I've gotten so much positive feedback on the first part of this fic, so I just had to do a part two!! I think I may write little moments from the lives of the Parkers under this title in the future! Thank you for reading!! I don't own anything but (y/n).

Summary: Now that Peter was finally home from the "multiversal mess" that caused him to go missing and worry his poor wife to death, he tries to find a way to make it up to her.

Warnings: mentions of death, violence, tooth rotting fluff

(y/n) - your name

(y/l/n) - your last name

(y/n/n) - your nickname

(y/h/c) - your hair color

(y/e/c) - your eye color

italics - flashbacks

Peter awoke to the gentle snoring of his wife, who was now sprawled out on his chest, hair sticking every which way. With a smile, he glanced to the clock on their nightstand. It was already 8:30, and (y/n) had to be at work in an hour. Taking one last look at (y/n) sleeping, he sighed and softly rubbed her shoulder.

"(Y/n), babe, you've gotta get to work. It's 8:30." He cooed.

She shifted, cuddling further into his chest while sleepily slurring. "No, Pete. I'm not getting up. You're my new pillow."

A chuckle escaped his lips, "Come on, (y/n/n)."

"No. I'm calling in sick," she started, peering up at him. "And we have a lot to talk about, mister."

Peter's heart fell slightly, already picturing (y/n) describing how she felt when he was missing. "Okay. I can call May and ask if she can watch Ben. How does a day to ourselves sound?"

Sitting up quickly, a huge smile painted her face. Of course, she loved Ben, but she couldn't remember the last time her and Peter had a date night, much less a whole day to themselves.

"That sounds amazing."

"Yeah?" he asked.

She kissed his bare collarbone, sitting up and pulling the covers off of them. "Yeah. I'm gonna go get Ben ready.

~

May came and picked Ben up with a smile at 9, leaving the rest of the day for the young couple to spend together. (Y/n) made doubly sure that she packed everything that Ben would need into his diaper bag. As all new moms are, she was somewhat nervous and explained every little thing that she did with Ben to May, who was used to the speech by now. The older woman understood that (y/n) only did so because she loved the little boy so much. Peter came to his aunt's rescue as he placed his hand on (y/n)'s lower back and spoke with raised eyebrows.

"Thanks again, May. We really appreciate it."

"Anytime. You two have fun, okay?" She replied.

With a nod and a smile, (y/n) crouched next to Ben's carrier, and Peter followed, tickling him softly.

"Mommy loves you."

"Be good for aunt May, Benny." Peter whispered in his goofy baby-talk voice that drove his wife crazy...in a good way.

As soon as Peter closed the door behind May, he spun around, picking (y/n) up over his shoulder, causing her to squeal with delight.

"Peter!" She exclaimed as he playfully laid her down on the bed, hovering inches above her, one arm on each side of her face with his signature grin.

"You, my amazing wife, are going to have breakfast in bed, served by your husband who feels terrible that he worried you yesterday."

"Okay then, Mr. Parker. I'll have some pan-"

"-cakes, bacon, and eggs. Coming right up, Mrs. Parker." He interrupted, kissing her lovingly on the nose.

As he was walking away, she yelled, "This doesn't mean I'm not still mad at you!"

(Y/n) sighed in content as Peter disappeared into the kitchen. Looking up at the ceiling, she wondered what she ever did to deserve her wonderful husband and love of her life. Thinking back on the years they'd spent together, she couldn't help but flash back to the day they had met.

10 Years Ago

As (y/n) was about to walk into the first class of her junior year of high school, she couldn't help but feel nervous. She had just moved from a pretty small town, so a ginormous city like New York was a huge change, not including the fact that she knew no one at school. Taking a deep breath, she mustered her courage and walked into the science lab with her head held high.

This confident façade quickly fell when all eyes landed on her. Some people were giving her confused looks, while others were silently picking her appearance apart, as high school girls often do. Her eyes raked across the room for an empty seat, finding that there were only two. One was beside a tall, lanky boy, and the other was next to a girl with freckles and glasses in the front. Going with the second option, she approached the girl with a bated breath.

"Hi. Is anyone sitting here?" (Y/n) asked kindly.

The look on the girl's face could be described as nothing short of disgust when she looked up at her. "Yeah. Someone is."

(Y/n) looked around for anyone else coming into class. She was the very last one. "Who?" She asked, daring to question the girl.

"Someone." She said bitterly, throwing her bookbag on the lab table, right in front of the open chair.

With a nod, (y/n) retreated to the back of the class, opting to sit next to the boy. Passing his side of their lab table, she stepped on something that started to roll, and before she knew it, her foot was leaving the ground as she yelped. Waiting for the ground to welcome her, she clenched her eyes shut. What she didn't expect, though, was for the boy to catch her. Much less by her hips in a dip that she'd only seen on tv.

Time seemed to slow as she looked wide-eyed into his own big brown irises. Studying his face, she noticed how handsome he was. A lopsided smile grew on his face at her reaction. His mouth was moving, but she didn't hear anything. After a few seconds, time sped up again, and she was brought up from his dip, back to a standing position.

"Hey, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" He asked, quickly picking up his skateboard and putting it in his bookbag.

Still somewhat out of breath, she huffed, "Yeah. Thanks for catching me..." she prompted for his name.

"Peter. Peter Parker." he answered, never breaking eye contact.

"Peter Parker." She finished, liking the way his name rolled off her lips. "I'm (y/n) (y/l/n). I just moved here."

"Makes sense. I would've remembered you."

(Y/n) felt her face grow hot as she took her seat next to the boy. Grinning, she turned her attention to the teacher at the front of the class, but couldn't stop thinking of the adorable smile right next to her. Needless to say, she didn't learn anything from the lesson, other than the fact that Peter Parker liked to doodle scientific formulas on the side of his notebook paper.

Present Day

After about 20 minutes of laying in bed reminiscing, (y/n) got up and silently padded down the hall, towards the kitchen. Halfway there, she heard something that always made her heart flutter; Peter's singing. He didn't do it much, and it was always off key, but it was adorable. The tune was a favorite of Peter's when they were in high school. She stopped at the end of the hall, leaning on the wall around the corner, out of his sight.

"You're my backbone," he sang, "You're my cornerstone. You're my crutch when my legs stop moving. You're my headstart, You're my rugged heart. You're the pulse that I've always needed."

Pushing off the wall, she turned the corner to see him wearing her Spiderman apron, cooking eggs in a pan, pancake powder streaking his face. Even with his super-hearing, he didn't hear her approaching. Well, maybe he just didn't act like her heard the almost silent patter of her feet on their hardwood floors. Coming up right behind him, she wrapped her arms around his torso, joining him in singing.

"Like a drum, my heart never stops beating for you."

He put the spatula down and turning to face her, gently cupping her cheeks with a grin. As the song came to a close, he continued to sing with her softly.

"And long after you're gone, gone, gone. I'll love you long after you're gone, gone, gone."

He leaned down and wrapped her in his arms. To (y/n) it felt like a warm blanket of safety and adoration was wrapped around her. She buried her face into his neck as the words of the song processed in her mind. 'I'll love you long after you're gone, gone, gone,' the song had said. Just the night before, she had thought that he was gone. She thought he was dead in some alley somewhere, unable to see her and their son one last time. With this thought circling her mind, she began to cry softly into his neck. Immediately, he knew something was wrong, and he was pretty sure he knew what it was.

"Hey, hey, it's okay." he assured, rubbing her (y/h/c) hair.

"It is now, but, Peter...I thought you were dead, waiting to be found in some alley somewhere. I was here, just waiting to get the call that my husband was dead." She angrily stammered between sobs.

Peter's heart shattered every time she cried, but this time was different: he was the reason she was crying.

"I'm so sorry," mumbled, "I'm okay. I'm in one piece. And I came back as soon as I got the chance, sweetheart."

She pulled back, peering up at him with pleading red-rimmed, tear filled (y/e/c) eyes. "What happened? Where were you, Pete?"

He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck with a boyish grin. "It's a long story. Let's get you breakfast and then we can talk about it."

Nodding, she gave him one last squeeze before sitting at their breakfast bar behind them. A few minutes later, breakfast was done, and Peter made her a big plate of her favorites. He could still see the remnants of tears on her face as he slid it in front of her.

"Aquí tienes, cebolla," he announces.

A smile grew on her previously distraught face, "That's a new one."

"What?"

Laughing, she asked, "What did you make in our Spanish class, again?"

"I made a D."

"Yeah, that's what I thought, bug-boy. I ca-."

"Hey! You know you love me!" He interrupted.

"Yes, I do, but you just called me an onion, babe."

They both fell into a fit of laughter as he animatedly yelled, "Oops."

Once the laughter died down, Peter knew he owed her an explanation. "So," he began. "About yesterday..."

"Yes..."

He stood up excitedly and began pacing in front of her in the kitchen. "You're not gonna believe it, (y/n/n). I was just out patrolling when all of a sudden, I looked around and I wasn't in New York anymore. Well, not our New York, at least."

Her face was painted with confusion as she spoke with a mouth full of breakfast. "Our New York?"

"Yeah," he responded breathily, "You know how we argued about the multiverse and all that stuff?" She nodded. "Well, I was right! I was somehow in another universe and happened to meet that world's (y/n) (y/l/n), and babe, she looked exactly like you did in high school. She was even dating that world's Spiderman, who also happened to be Peter Parker."

"Wow." She loved watching Peter talk about something he was passionate about, and there wasn't much that topped science in that category. Her anger was slowly dissipating as he continued to explain.

"Do you remember Doc Connors and Electro from high school?"

"How could I forget? They about killed me, Peter." She sassed.

"They were there, alive, somehow. There was also a third Peter that showed up, and his villains showed up too. We devised a way to save them but things didn't go exactly as planned. Everything went great 'til Goblin showed up."

She about choked on the pancake she was eating. "Harry was there?"

"No," he said sadly, "It was Peter 2's Goblin. But anyways, we made it through the bat-Oh! There was this wizard guy who held the multiverse together while we were fighting. It was pretty cool actually. He kind of just threw his ha-"

"Pete." she interrupted, silently teasing him for not staying on topic.

"Right. We fought, won, and I was back here in an instant, thanks to the wizard guy."

It was a lot to take in, and (y/n)'s brain was exploding with all the new information. "You're right. That is a lot." She stated, standing up to meet him in the kitchen.

His voice lowered to barely above a whisper. "I missed you and Ben, though. So much."

She roped her arms around his neck, running her fingers through his soft brown hair. "We missed you, too. I really was worried. I didn't know if you were coming back to me."

Eyes fluttering closed at the soothing motion, he tenderly gripped her hips, closing the gap between them as their lips collided. Through the kiss, he mumbled against her sweet lips, "I'll always come back to you."

______________________________________________________________

Tag List: @bonkyandstebe @4babez @swaggysposts @motheraiya @writeroutoftime @taysirene @peanutbuttermoony @ellabellabus07

Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!!

- mads <3

[anotherwritersblog]

Title: Unforgettable

Pairings: dad!Bucky Barnes x mom!Reader

Word Count: 1.2K

Warnings: fluff, small innuendos ☠️, one f bomb

Author's Note: I drove for eight hours yesterday, so I spent a lot of time thinking and listening to Spotify. This little bit came from the song Unforgettable by Thomas Rhett. Mistakes are my own. Happy Sunday! 💖

Also…can anyone guess who the son was named after? 👀 I was ✨inspirerd✨ when a mutual was reblogging Bucky and this friend the other day.

Any and all reblogs/likes/comments are appreciated.

In no way, shape, or form, do you have permission to repost this anywhere

--------------------

It’s another Saturday evening, and you’re in the kitchen cooking dinner. Your five-year old daughter, Becca, wanted mac and cheese with chicken nuggets, while your fourteen-year old son, Thomas, wanted chocolate chip pancakes. So being the loving mother that you were, you were making both.

“Hey, Mommy?” Becca asked while watching you stir the pasta. She stood on her small step stool, by the little kitchen island, switching between her dinosaur and princess coloring books.

“Yes, baby?” You glanced over to make sure she wasn’t getting into the food laying across the counter.

“How did you and Daddy meet?” her little eyes widened with so much wonder. While she looked a lot more like her father, she definitely inherited your curiosity.

“We met at church, baby,” you moved over to the bowl of pancake mix you had left off to the side. Your mixer was broken, so you were left to mix manually.

“I doubt that, Mom!” Thomas shouted as he walked through the door. Him and his father had been playing ball all afternoon, so when you saw both boys track in dirt all over your floors, you ended up shooting your husband a look. A look that only he would recognize the consequences of, but soon made it up with a kiss on your cheek and a whisper that he’ll clean the kitchen after dinner.

“Of course, it is! I was in the choir and your father was – “

“Doll. They’re old enough now. We can tell them the truth,” Bucky chuckled, grabbing an apron and tending to the mac and cheese. “It was the fourteenth of October, many, many, many years ago. I was by my lonesome self at a bar when this beautiful woman caught my eye. She had this black t-shirt off her shoulder and a sparkle in her eye that was brighter than any star you’ll find in the sky.”

You pour some mix into the pan and watch it simmer, as you listen to this fond memory.

“We were talking for a minute before some guy try to cut in, but I guess I had said something right, because she took my hand and we pretended like I was her guy. I put my arm around her shoulder, and he was gone. Didn’t see him for the rest of the night.” Bucky stirred the cheese into the pot and placed the lid over to help the melting process.

“What happened after that?” Thomas asked as he threw a couple of chocolate chips into his mouth. He had made his way next to his sister and started filling in parts of her coloring pages that she had missed.

“Hey! Watch it kiddo! That chocolate is for your pancakes! They’re going to be plain and boring if you eat them all right now,” you warned your son with a wave of the spatula. He laughed a little, took a few more chips to slip to his sister, and brought the bag to your side of the stove.

“Thanks, sweetie,” you kissed his forehead before he headed back to his spot to color.

“Well, I ordered her another one of her favorite mango margaritas, when one of her favorite Coldplay songs started to play – “

“When she was just a girl, she expected the world, but it flew away from her reach. So, she ran away in her sleep,” you started singing, reminiscing on that night. It blew you away that Bucky would remember so much. That he could remember so much.

“Soon, we were dancin’ and takin’ shots like it was nothin’.

“Daddy, what are shots?” Becca looked up from her teal pterodactyl.

“James!” you groaned, throwing a dish towel his way. He was already snickering, but neither were ready for the comment to come afterwards.

“It’s those tiny, little cups mom gets out after we visit with Uncle Steve and Uncle Sam, and they pour the dark liquid from the freezer in it. You’re usually asleep by the time they get them out, but they’ll drink, like, a lot of the tiny cups and then they talk about pearl necklaces or playing with edges. Sometimes, for some reason, they’ll bring up Aunt Peg-“

“Thomas! That’s enough!” You rarely shout at your kids, but when you do, it always takes them by surprise.

“Sorry, mom. I didn’t mean to…” you look your son’s way to see that he was a little upset. You passed your spatula off to Bucky and made your way to the boy. He’s always been the sensitive one, ever since he could walk and talk, whereas Becca was the laid-back child. If she had a life motto, it’d be zero fucks given.

“No. I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to yell. You just caught me by surprise. Those things you heard are meant for only adults to hear. But I guess this is also a lesson for your father and I to watch what we say, even if you two aren’t around,” you rubbed his back and kissed the top of his head again before making your way back to the pancake station. Bucky handed you back your utensil and continued his story telling, while you were flipping pancakes.

“So, anyways, you know your old man. I can’t dance to save a life, but I did the runnin’ man and your mother was laughin’ out loud so loud, I’m sure the bar down the street heard it!” You heard laughter from behind you and when you turned around, you saw that Bucky was doing the running man for the kids.

You utterly loved this man and the many things he did for you and your family. But if it were a life or death situation and he had to dance, every single one of you would be goners.

Once finished showing off his moves, and after throwing the chicken nuggets into the microwave, Bucky washed his hands and started to get the plates down from the cupboards.

“And after that, your mom just kissed me out of nowhere. I thought I was hooked when I saw her smile back at the bar, but after that kiss? I knew I was going to marry her one day.”

You grabbed the last of the pancakes and placed them on the table. Becca climbed into her seat, while Thomas placed both his and her cups on the table before he sat down as well. You went to wash your hands when you felt a presence behind you. Hands were untying the knot in your apron and taking it off from around your neck.

“I bet you’re probably thinkin’ that it’s crazy I remember every detail, but I do,” you hear whispered into your ear before little kisses were pressed underneath it. “But that night was just like you, doll…”

You dried your hands and turned around in the man’s arms, only to be met by his lips on yours.

He muttered a simple unforgettable against your lips before you found your hands around his neck.

“Can we not! I would like to keep my appetite. I was really looking forward to these pancakes!” Thomas shouted, looking away and covering his sister’s eyes. She was oblivious to what was going on because she was just trying to bask in the sight of the yummy, yellow gooiness sitting just out of her little arm’s reach.

You giggled before leaving one more lingering kiss on your adoring husband’s lips and whispered, “Maybe we can make tonight unforgettable too.”

[unloved-cadillac]

May I request a scenario where Levi & y/n are sleeping together. At a dinner someone asks Levi about his love life & he mentions he’s in a relationship. Y/n thinks he’s talking about someone else, so when they’re in private she decides to end whatever is going on between them bc she doesn’t want Levi to cheat. So Levi has to spell it out that he was talking about her. (:

C/n: I like this. I like it a lot. Thanks for requesting and I hope that you enjoy🤍

——————————————————————————

A Secret Love. (Levi x Reader)

Soft lips pampered your neck with kisses as you straddled Levi’s lap. Your hands scratched his undercut, softly moaning at the feeling of his lips, and he moved away from your collarbone to view his artwork.

“You need to buy me more concealer if you’re gonna keep on doing that.” You chuckle and he looks at you. Your flushed cheeks and soft pants made him want to have you then and there. But he had a meeting in a few minutes and he called you in his office for a few seconds of shenanigans.

“Who said I want you to cover it up?” He shoots you a smirk and you roll your eyes. You plant a kiss on his lips and get up from his lap. You go to a mirror and fix your shirt before looking back at him. “Your meeting starts in five. I suggest you go before it starts.” You say and he gets up. “See you later?” He asks before he leaves and you nod.

You would think that you and him were together but that was so not the case. Levi and you had a strict contract about your relationship being only sex. The whole arrangement was just about relieving stress from the corporate business and trying to find some release. At first, everything was fine. Levi would call you to his apartment, spend a few hours there and you would leave. Then you started to stay over. And that turned into just hanging out.

Being his secretary, you always knew where he was and what he was doing. So if he called you into his office, 9 times out of ten, it’s for a quickie. That was it.

Until you started to catch feelings for him.

Each kiss he gave you made your heart jump and the way his hands roamed your body with more sincerity made you fall for him. He genuinely cared about pleasing you, something you weren’t accustom to since most of the jerks you dated last three thrusts and pulled out leaving you unsatisfied and annoyed.

You sat by your desk as Levi went for his meeting, waiting for him to come back. The day was slow and the only thing that he had planned was this big meeting.

Two hours later, Levi comes back to his office with his colleague, Erwin. Erwin was Levi’s childhood friend and now that he was in a similar business position as Levi, they started to see each other at meetings.

“Ms L/n. How lovely to see you again.” Erwin greets and shakes your hand. “Mr Smith. Likewise.” You smile and glance at Levi. “Say, tomorrow night there’s going to be a dinner with many business people. I’m going, Levi’s going and I will love it if you joined.” Erwin says with a smile and you look at Levi. As much as you two had a secret “affair”, he was still your boss. “Uh, I’m going to have to check with my boss first.” You chuckle and Erwin looks at Levi. “Oh, Levi isn’t going to be a pain and not let you come. It’s at the Rose House Restaurant down on Main Street.”

Your eyes widen at the name of it. That was one of the biggest, most expensive restaurants in the city. You would have to book a reservation at least four months prior.

Erwin laughs at your reaction. “I’ll be looking forward to seeing you there, Y/n. See you, Levi.” He waves at Levi. “Later, Eyebrows.” Erwin disappears into the elevator and as soon as it descends you feel lips on your neck and arms around your waist. “If you wanted to go that shitty restaurant, you could’ve just asked.” He mumbles and you giggle. You turn in his arms and he lifts you onto your desk, settling in between your legs. “Do you want to go? Honestly I’m contemplating on going but if you want to, we’ll go.” He whispers and you nod. “If it’s not a problem?” He scoffs and kisses you as his hands start to roam. “You’ll never be a problem.” See, it was things like that that made you fall hopelessly in love with him. It sucked because you knew it wasn’t true.

~~~~

The next night, you checked your dress and make up for the umpteenth time and finally decided that you were ready. A simple long black dress with a slit up until your upper thigh with thin straps that crossed against your back made you look like a million bucks.

Your phone dinged and you saw that Levi was outside. You quickly grabbed your purse, checked your lipstick and left the apartment. You walked down the stairs and Levi’s eyes widened. You saw the change in his demeanor and you bit your lip as you twirled around, making him see everything. “What do you think? Not bad for a last minute.” You chuckle and he presses his lips against your hand, like a prince.

“You..look beautiful, Y/n.” He whispers and you don’t know if it’s the car lights or your imagination, but you thought Levi was blushing. You smiled and he opened the door for you and you jumped in. Levi sat in the drivers seat and buckled up. He started the car and a few moments later, laid a hand on your thigh.

It made your heart skip.

~~~~

The restaurant was as beautiful as you imagined. Maybe even better. Levi caught sight of the table and escorted you to it.

“Levi! You made it! Oh, Y/n. Looking amazing.” Hange exclaimed and you laughed. You weren’t expecting to see her here. “Hange?!” You say and she hugs you. “Surprised? Got back yesterday and decided to spend the day with my husband. Moblit says hi by the way.” You let go of Levi’s arm and sit next to her as Levi sat next to Erwin and his father. There were many other business men and woman there and although you were nervous, they were all lovely to talk to and Hange made you loosen up.

The night progressed from business talk to family to relationships. A very sketchy topic for you since you didn’t like to talk about it. There was one woman who was by Levi the whole night and you really tried not to be jealous. He wasn’t yours. So why did you feel the angry, green dragon of jealousy wash over you?

“Damn if I had you on my arm, I’ll never complain about anything ever again.” The woman slurs as she sipped her wine. Levi’s buttons were undone and everyone was relatively drunk so you were waiting for Levi to say “yeah. So let’s get outta here.” or something. Instead, something worse was said.

“Too bad I’m in a relationship.” He says and drinks the rest of his whiskey. Erwin, Hange and Erwin’s father snapped to him. “What?! With who?! Why didn’t you tell us?!” Erwin and Hange ask him and Erwin’s father pats him on his shoulder.

“What’s she like?” Hange asks and Levi groans. “As if I’d tell you.” His eyes glance to you. “Come on Levi! Tell us one thing, at least.”

Levi puts his glass down and clears his throat. “She’s beautiful. Witty and clever. She puts up with my shit and she’s special. Very special.” He says and Erwin smiles. You put your head down, staring at the liquid in your glass as if it held all the answers to the universe.

Levi was in a relationship? And he didn’t tell you? That means, this entire time, he was cheating. The thought made you sick to your stomach because as much as you loved Levi, you respected his unknown girlfriend as well and she didn’t deserve to know that her boyfriend had been banging his secretary for the past months.

“She sounds great, son.” Erwin’s father say and he nods. “She is.” She must really have made a special mark on his heart if he’s talking so much about her. You bite your lip trying to not cry. It hurt. It hurt like someone has stabbed your a thousand time and then proceeded to rip your heart out.

When it was time to leave, you kissed Hange and Erwin goodbye as waved goodbye to all of the people. Levi draped his coat over your shoulders and you froze. “Can only imagine how cold you must be.” He says and you nod. Weird. You always joked about everything and was so carefree so what was the change?

You and Levi walked to his car and before he could open the door for you, you opened it for yourself and sat inside. Levi pulled his eyebrows in, confused at your actions but he didn’t say anything. Rather he just went into the car and drove you home.

The entire ride home, you didn’t utter a single word. Not about the restaurant, not about the food, hell not even about him. Your mind was just trying to find a way to break this off in the calmest way possible.

When Levi parked outside your apartment, he turned the car off and looked at you. “You’ve been quiet all night, what’s wrong?” He asks and you breath in a big breath. “I think...we need to stop whatever this is.” You motion between the two of you and Levi’s heart stops. “What? Why?”

“Levi,” you look at him, dejected and tired, “you’re in a relationship and you didn’t tell me. It’s one thing to be doing this but she doesn’t deserve to be cheated on. She sounds like a great girl, by the way. I hope you and her have a good life together.”

Before he could even get a word in, you take off his jacket and jump out the car. You walked up three steps before your arm was caught by a hand, turning you. You almost fell but Levi caught you. “You really are an idiot.” He whispers and you pull away from his shoulder.

“What?”

“I said that you’re an idiot. How can you say that you’re such a great girl and then leave without me agreeing with you?”

Your lips part and before you could say “what?” Levi pulls you in for a kiss. “It’s you, dummy. I was talking about you,” he murmurs against your lips, “you’re witty and clever. You’re the one who can piss me off and turn me on at the same time. You’re the one who can put up with my shit. You’re the one, Y/n.”

You look deep into his gunmetal eyes, flabbergasted and touched. “Wh-Why didn’t you say anything back at the restaurant then?” Levi scoffs.

“I wasn’t going to officially ask you to be mine in front of a bunch of unknown people. What if you rejected me?” He jokes and you kiss him. Again and again.

“Never. I’ll never reject you.” You softly say as he hums against your lips. “Be mine, Y/n.” “I was already yours.”

You stay enveloped in his arms for a while but then he lifts you up and carries you bridal style to your apartment.

“Now can I show you what you being in that dress did to me the whole night?”

——————————————————————————

“It’s only you who loves me like you do.”

🖤🤍Thanks for reading🤍🖤

-Caddy.

[starlitangels]

A Walk in the Park

Let them be happy, dangit! I went on a delightful spring walk yesterday with my husband and on the way back I was appreciating the sun, and my mind turned to them because of course it did 1.7k words

—

I held my hand out. “C’mon,” I said. “You’ve been staring at that book without actually reading it for an hour.”

“How could you tell I wasn’t reading it?”

“Well, I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that your eyes haven’t actually moved.”

Avior took my hand and let me help him stand. He rubbed his eyes with his other hand. “Just having a hard time focusing,” he said. “I know what I need to do. My mind just... doesn’t want to do it.”

“Yup. That’s why we’re getting out of the house,” I said. I tugged him toward the door.

“Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise.”

He pulled on his walking shoes. I dragged him to my car. He piled into the passenger seat while I got in the driver’s seat. I let him mess with the radio while I drove.

After about twenty minutes, I parked. “Let’s go.”

Avior looked around. “What... a park?”

“Mmhmm.” I nodded and hopped out of the car. Avior climbed out after me. I locked the car, circled the hood, and held a hand out. He took it. I pulled him toward one of the paths. He followed after me. The spring air brushed over our faces, sun on our skin. Avior gave me a small grin. I smiled back.

“This is nice,” he remarked. He fell into step beside me on the sidewalk. He swung our intertwined hands up to kiss the back of my hand.

“Yeah. I used to come here when I was going to the academy,” I said. “I’d bring a blanket. Drag my roommate. We’d sit on the blanket and study in the sun once the weather finally warmed up. I got so many sunburns.” I started to chuckle. “But I kept forgetting to wear sunscreen since it was still fairly cool outside.”

Avior shook his head with a fond smile on his face. “Somehow, that doesn’t surprise me, starlight,” he said. I grinned.

I looked around as we walked. There were families, pushing small children in strollers along this same path. There were young people with dogs throwing balls and Frisbees. An elderly couple sitting on a bench, enjoying the dappled sunlight filtering through the leaves of the tree giving them shade. The smile on my face widened. Simple things. Normal things. Fresh, cool spring air played across my skin. No screams. No smoke. No ash. No blistering wind.

Just me. And Avior. And the park. People having a good time on a nice day.

I leaned against Avior’s arm where our hands were still joined. He gave me a smile. “Enjoying the day?” he asked. I nodded. He hummed thoughtfully. “I can feel your happiness.”

“It’s nice to be free, Avior. But it’s even better to be free with you.”

He leaned down and planted a kiss on my hairline. “I love you, my starlight,” he whispered against my skin.

“I love you too, know-it-all.”

The earned me an affectionate chuckle.

We walked the entire path circling the park. A comfortable silence between the two of us. Each reveling in the simplicity of the normalcy around us. We exchanged a small smile when someone got out of their car and opened the backdoor to reveal an absolutely massive grey-and-black wolf dog. Except both of us immediately felt that said “wolf dog” was a shifter. The human who’d driven the car said, “Come on, Ash!” and went jogging toward the center of the park. The shifter glanced at us before bounding after.

“Someone’s feeling risky,” I said softly to Avior. “Talk about toeing the line of covert.”

He snorted. “Mmhmm,” he said. “But I’m not going to fault someone for enjoying the weather.”

“Me neither. Especially after everything we’ve been through. I mean, we’ve been free for a while now, but with spring coming on... I feel like... light, I guess? Like a weight lifted off my shoulders.”

“I noticed that you were subdued for most of the winter. But I didn’t want to say anything. I didn’t want to stray too close to uncomfortable territory.”

“Thanks.” I squeezed his hand, watching the shifter play with the unempowered human who’d been driving the car. The two were running in circles, pouncing on each other, generally roughhousing. Though the wolf was remarkably gentle. A few unempowered folks nearby were watching on, aghast at the size of the wolf. Indeed, whoever this Ash was, he was pretty big, even by shifter standards.

“Starlight,” Avior entreated quietly. He slowed us to a stop on the path. “Look at me, please?”

I turned to face him. “Is something wrong?”

“No—I just—your eyes are so beautiful in the sunlight. And... I like seeing you this happy. This peaceful.” He reached up with his free hand and brushed the backs of his fingers down the side of my face. “God, I love you so much,” he breathed.

“I love you too.”

He nodded to a bench in full exposure to the sun, no tree nearby to shade it. “Would you like to sit down?” he asked. “Bask, for a bit?”

“Sure.” We crossed to the bench and sat down. Avior let go of my hand to wrap his arm over my shoulders. I took a deep breath, taking in as much fresh spring air as I could. It was cool as it hit the inside of my nose, but the crispness was revitalizing. “This is so nice.”

“I’m glad we did this,” Avior agreed. “Thank you, my love. For bringing me here.”

“Of course.” I snuggled against his side. “Hopefully when we get home, you’ll be able to focus on that book properly.”

He snickered. “Hopefully,” he agreed.

I closed my eyes, resting my head on Avior’s shoulder. His cheek leaned against my scalp. I felt the gentle breeze snagging some of our hairs on each other. The scent of the reawakening greenery of the park filled my nose, but I could catch hints of Avior’s scent too. Not that I had anything accurate to compare a demon’s scent to, but he smelled good.

—

In all the time they’d been together, after everything the two had suffered, Avior had never felt such serenity flow from his starlight’s emotions. This peace, this joy—it was intoxicating. The sensation of love mixed with the other emotions into a delectable cocktail that Avior wanted to get drunk on every day if he could.

Holding his starlight in his arms... for once, their curiosity quieted... it was little more than a brief moment in the scope of either of their lives—Avior’s, especially—but the brief moment could stretch into eternity. Just for now. While they sat together here, on this bench. Listening to the other people at the park. The shifter and human playing around, a mother calling for her child to not stray too far, someone commending a friend on their good throw as a Frisbee whizzed through the air.

The normal, simple things. No watershed moments. No grand gestures. Just people living their lives. With his starlight under his arm, both of them just appreciating the simple joy of the world around them.

He kissed his starlight’s hair.

“I love you. So much.”

“That’s the third time you’ve said that since we came here,” his starlight mumbled, voice sleepy.

“And I meant it every time,” Avior replied. “Just being out here reminds me of how much I love you. Every moment with you, out here in the real world, has been a perfect moment. A moment of joy. And I feel how peaceful you feel, right now. And it’s... contagious.”

He felt amusement mix with the peace and love in his starlight’s emotions. “I missed you being sappy.”

“When have I ever been sappy?”

“The first time I was in the trap.”

Avior twitched, but didn’t say anything. “That wasn’t sappy,” he replied. “That was romantic.”

“Same difference.”

—

Avior chuckled. I felt it against my face more than I heard it. “Perhaps,” he said. “But can you blame me?”

“Mmm... never said I did,” I said softly. “I like it when you’re sappy. Because then I know you’re happy.”

He kissed the top of my head again. “You make me happy, my starlight.”

“You make me happy too, Avior,” I replied. “In ways I never would have expected.” I took a deep breath, letting the sun warm my skin still, eyes closed. “I never thought I’d have time for romance. I never thought I’d meet someone patient enough to put up with all my constant questions. And, honestly, if we’d met under any other circumstances, I don’t think I ever would have fallen for you. But... I’m really glad I did.”

He hummed thoughtfully. “Me too, my starlight.”

I’m not sure how long we sat there on that bench. But we had time. Maybe not all the time in the world, like we’d had in Hell, but this was better time. This was real time. And that made it all the sweeter to spend with him. Just feeling him holding me. His heartbeat in one ear, the sounds of the park in the other.

“Wanna take another lap around the park before going home?” I asked.

“Mm... home,” he said softly. “Okay.”

I got up first and helped pull him to his feet. Not that he needed the assistance. I just knew we both liked excuses to be touching in some way.

Our hands swung between us, intertwined, as we took another lap around the park. The breeze was so delightful. I closed my eyes and just trusted Avior’s grip on me to keep me on the path.

It was strange how over six months in a literal hellscape could really make someone appreciate the simplest things in life. Like taking a walk through a park that wasn’t even green with spring yet with my hand in the hand of someone I loved. But I supposed Hell just had a way of doing that.

[pbandjesse]

We just left the movies. That was a bizarre film. I had fun though! And when we left I got a text that we get the day off tomorrow! Special day off for opening day. That's so nice.

I slept a little better last night but I was up to late so waking up was still tough. James apparently almost cried they were so tired. My poor husband.

It was going to be a very rainy day. But it didn't start until half way to work. When I woke up it was just grey. I got dressed and felt good. My hair was a little more dirty then I wanted but I knew I would wash it tonight so it was fine.

James and me left work at the same time. And there was a lot of traffic struggling to turn off our street so I went down the alley to get to the light. Which is a little silly but makes it so much less stressful so it's worth it.

It wasn't a bad drive. When the rain started I was not thrilled mostly be she it made me feel tired. But I got to work in one piece.

I would have breakfast and work on my lesson plans. I worked quietly by myself for an hour or so. Until Sarah came in and we chatted about stuff that needed to be done. And came up with a few things for her to do. And I got back to work. Everyone but Alexi would slowly come in. Even saw Lou today who is back to Florida.

Around 10 Heather was going over to the hacienda to give a talk to the group from yesterday about the YLP program. I offered to drive us in the gator so I could pick up the trash from them.

So we headed over. And it was misty raining. And it made my face all wet because the gator has no windshield. But it was fine.

I was shocked by how much trash there was. The boys helped load up the gator and then tried to convince me to let them drive with me to the dumpster. I told them to go ask an adult, because I knew they would say no but eventually one of their adults joined me and it would be two trips to the other side of camp and we were both soaked by the end. But I was glad to help, even if I was very very wet.

I drove the chaperone back to the hacienda. And then went to park at the office. Heather had walked herself back. I would have to spend some time drying off and vaguely complaint about how wet I was. Thankfully the rain has not come through my fleece so it was mostly just my hair that was wet.

I would spend the next hour working and having lunch. Eventually Ceila came in and we were able to talk about doing the lessons for nature. She would make them very detailed which was great. And I kept working on mine, which are less detailed right now but I can always add more.

Eventually I needed a break from the computer.

And would get my umbrella and take a walk around camp. Elizabeth wanted me to check on the cleaning supplies at the cabins so I did that and was surprised that there were tents set up near stockade? I knew that the other group was using the cabins but I didn't know they were sleeping outside.

But that was fine. I would have a conversation with one person from that group when I went to the lodge to drop something off. And helped them get a mop to clean up a spill downstairs. Happy to help.

I came back to the office and would work for a while. Celia was leaving as I was coming in again. And I would spend some time just playing on Pinterest and reading stuff but mostly I was working.

I did have some funny moments. Like when googles ai tried to give me directions to create tin can lanterns without filling them with solid ice. It's solution said "you don't need ice to create a ton can lantern! Just fill it with water and freeze it!" And it's like. Okay Google you tried.

But I worked pretty diligently until 330. Elizabeth and Sarah had just gotten back from the hacienda where they let me know I could have 3 gallons of ice cream that the group left. Sweet. I would stop and grab that on the way out.

I got two full gallons and three pints. The rain was still strong. But it was time to go home.

It wasn't a terrible drive but it was a little hard to keep my eyes open. I was very excited to go home and lay down.

Right before my exit I saw a single car accident. Someone took the turn to quick and smashed into the barrier. But the guy was now standing in the road. And like yes you should move away from your car but also you are in a blind curve and someone is going to hit you. Hopefully that didn't happen.

I got home at 430 and after putting some stuff away (and trying on the dyed dress which came out so beautifully) I got into bed. And waited for James. And once they were home and had put some stuff away they joined me. And we hung out in bed being sleepy until it was time to go meet their parents for dinner and a movie.

We went to a food court. Similar to R house and Mt Vernon marketplace. And it was good! I got pizza because I'm not sick of it yet. James got pad thai. Tucker got a BLT with crab and Anne got a fancy chicken pesto flatbread. And it was nice hanging out.

Soon we would walk to The Senator theater. Which is a historic theater and was super pretty. They had some of the original murals exposed and we got to sit in the main theater which was beautiful.

And the movie was. Fun? Weird? Honestly it wasn't good. It was Hitchcock' "Marnie" and it felt like a lot of scenes that were loosely tied together. It's based on a book and I hope the book was better. There were so absolutely hilarious moments. Like one Marnie's honeymoon where she is wear a high neck long sleeve fully buttoned nightgown and her husband says shes never been sexier and we all lost it. But there was also marital rape? And grand larceny? And just really terrible haircuts. The sister in law was adorable. Lill. Loved her whole look. It was fun though and I'm glad we went.

At the end of the film Tucker realized he lost his phone so we took a moment to look for it. I also apparently lost my wrist brace, which I had taken off half way through the movie. Disappointing but I'll replace it tomorrow. As we were looking for the phone I got the text that Alexi has given us all the day off tomorrow so I was pretty excited. And we all went to the concessions desk to see if they had the phone and they did!

Tucker wanted to give the guy a tip but none of us had money. So Tucker gave this kid a container of THC gummies. Which is hilarious. Like me and James were laughing so hard once we got back to the car. That is one to remember for sure.

We just got home a little bit ago. And I'm going to go wash my hair before we go to sleep. And now I don't have to wake up early! I hope tomorrow I can do some baking and go get a new wrist brace and maybe work on some sewing or at least cutting out my new pattern design. But regardless of all of that I hope it's just a really good day.

Sleep well everyone. And pray that the rain stops. Goodnight everyone!!

[erensproudsimp]

Work out

Armin Arlert x reader Oneshot

⚠ Sexual Content Ahead ⚠

Summary : I woke up, thought of gym sex and wrote it

Word Count : 2.3k

"Come on y/n, going to the gym is not that bad plus Mikasa would be joining us too", Annie encouraged you.

"Working out seems so much of trouble that I certainly don't want to partake as I'd rather spend my energy to binge watch anime", you replied flatly eyes not moving away from your phone.

Snatching your phone Annie said with a serious face, "Y/n how do you expect to pull any of your anime crushes looking like a potato? "

"Hey! Give me my phone back and even if I do look like a potato Sasha would love me and don't bring my husbands in this topic!" you ran after her to retrieve your phone.

"Alright then, I'll pay you a KFC meal if you come for one day to at least try it out", Annie suggested.

"I don't know why you're so adamant about taking me to the gym but if there's free food involved, I'm in", you gave in.

"I just want you to stay fit you know and we're starting tomorrow so go to sleep", your roommate said preparing her gym bag.

"Whaaat nooo", you complained unaware of the impact that a stranger you're going to meet will have have on you.

The next morning both Annie and you hopped into Mikasa's car to go to the private gym owned by Mikasa's family and family friends.

"That's actually a relief to be able to work out without fearing strangers looking at you", you reassured yourself.

"Yeah it's gonna be really comfortable and I also would like to introduce you to some of my friends y/n, I know you're gonna like them", Mikasa added.

"Well can't say I'm not excited to meet them", you replied looking at your phone reading a fanfiction.

Couple of minutes later you reached your destination. From the outside the building looked very modern with transparent glasses through which you could see the inside and barely any life around made the place peaceful.

When you went inside, Mikasa took you both to the changing room where you left your stuff on the shelf to change your outfit.

Putting your towel on your shoulders followed by Annie, Mikasa led the way to her friends who were lifting weights.

"Hey guys", Mikasa said to get their attention, "This is y/n and Annie and this is Eren and Armin", she said pointing at each person respectively.

"Pleasure to meet you two", Armin said as Eren nodded with him.

You swore that the moment you saw the blonde boy, your heart skipped a beat. He was so effortlessly gorgeous.

"Same here, hope to have a good gym buddy relation with you two", Annie replied as you were lost in your reflection. Snapping yourself from your thoughts, you agreed with her.

After that y'all left the boys to let them do their previous activities and went to train yourselves. With your unfit body you were tired from the first exercise itself and was laying on the ground trying to catch your breath.

You failed to understand how could Mikasa and Annie keep going but you were not going to give up and decided to look at it as a new challenge for yourself.

Picking yourself up, you went to do something easy as a starter which was skipping ropes.

Little did you know that the blonde guy had been sneaking peeks at you from time to time smiling to himself.

One hour later, everyone decided to take a break to refuel their energy.

"So, what are we going to eat", you questioned.

" Why not soup? I've been craving miso soup for a while," Armin proposed, everyone settling on soup.

Getting into the car, Eren drove us to the nearest fast food restaurant. Inside you sat between Annie and Armin. Filled with anxiety of Armin being so close to you, you fidgeted with your hands to keep yourself stable. Armin noticed your restlessness and asked if you were okay but you couldn't possibly tell him that you were crushing hard on him so you just replied with a 'I'm fine' and concentrated on your food.

"What are your majors?" Eren asked you and Annie to make conversation.

"I am doing engineering and y/n's an art student explaining why she's so lazy", Annie responded.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Annie, I am not lazy", you said passive-aggressively looking at Annie with murder in your eyes.

"Says the girl who could barely run to take her phone from me yesterday", she coughed smirking.

"No- I - bye-", you stammered making Armin erupt into a fits of laughter. His laugh gave the impression as though angels came down on earth to bestow you with blessings which in this case was the cute sound of his voice. You didn't realise that you were staring at him until Armin spoke, "Is there something on my face?"

"Yes," you said casually swipping the little ketchup stain near his mouth with a tissue. His cheeks were a light pink colour because of your action and he thanked the heavens for not letting his friends noticing what just happened.

"Th-thank you", he bashfully thanked.

"Sure", you said looking away to hide your blush.

Finishing your meals, y'all returned to the gym to continue training then took your leave after two hours. Saying your byes to the boys, Mikasa gave you both a ride to your dorm.

Throwing your body on your bed you heaved a sigh of relief that you were able to survive this first day of going to the gym.

"Tired already y/n ? Too bad we're going to do this routine everyday", Annie commented.

"I guess time to fill the fridge with energy drinks", you jumped out of bed to buy bundles of different brands of said drink.

The only thing that would be keeping you going about working out was that you were able to see Armin everyday.

Due to your classes running late one day you reached the gym at 06 00 pm. Everyone was still there; you greeted them and went to use the treadmill. At around half past seven your friends were hungry and decided to go to a nearby takeout to bring food to the gym because you didn't want to come out of exhaustion.

"You guys go ahead, I would keep y/n company", Armin told them.

Soon you were left alone with Armin and not knowing what to say out of shyness you excused yourself to the bathroom.

There you freshened up yourself to make yourself look more presentable to your crush. Luck was in your stars as you were wearing leggings that gave your ass a nice curve with a matching colour sportsbra.

When you came out, you saw that Armin was missing. You assumed that he too went to the restroom and decided to do squats. A little while later the man indeed returned from the wc. His breath was caught in his throat when he saw you.

He came up to you and asked if you needed any help regarding your training.

"Actually I do, would you assist me in doing sit ups?" you requested.

"Yeah sure, I'll hold your shoes while you're doing them," Armin accepted.

Laying your body on the mat, you watched Armin going in front of you to your feet and held them down. You began to lift your body with your hands on the back of your head as you realised how close your faces were being when you were raised up. You never realised how broad his shoulders were until then and you gulped hard.

"How much do you plan on doing?" Armin asked.

"I'm setting a limit of thirty but let's see if I manage to exceed it." He nodded. Gosh, how does someone manage to look cute and hot at the same time?!

At your 15th sit-up you lifted up your body to make eye contact with him as you were with the previous sit-ups but this time it lasted longer because you stayed still. Both of you gazed into the eye of each other without saying a word your faces becoming closer. You didn't realise what you were doing. It wasn't long until both of your lips touched each other. When your senses were brought back to you, you pulled back so quickly. For a second you saw a frown on Armin's face.

"OMG! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to do this, I swear," you apologized frenzily.

"It's okay, I don't mind at all," Armin just chuckled at your reaction. He came closer and tucked your hair to your ear.

"Have you ever realised how beautiful you were?" he whispered in your ear making all your blood rush to your head.

"I - I- mmph," you were cut off by Armin

colliding his mouth with yours. He sucked on your lower lip asking permission to let his tongue enter your mouth. You opened it a little only for him to stuck in his whole muscle.

You left out a small moan feeling his tongue roaming everywhere while his hand untied your hair and was playing with it.

He had the most tender lips that you ever felt in your life. Giving you a forehead kiss, he held your face in his hands stroking it with his thumb.

You crawled to sit on his lap as he continued to shower you with affection. His head pats were so gentle, you were melting under his touch. He bowed to gain access to your neck and gave it a subtle lick and then proceeded to find your sweet spot kissing you everywhere. A small mewl left your lips when he kissed a certain spot. The man was proud of himself to have found it and attacked it with hickeys. At this point you were shaking on his thighs and in his embrace.

Your hands reached the bottom of his shirt and pulled it off him. His sweaty body glowed in the light yet he looked so heavenly. You couldn't help but lick his collarbones leaving your saliva on his skin.

The fear of getting caught by your friends during this sinful moment turned you on.

Armin's hand gave your ass a tender squeeze before making you lay your whole body on the mat as he left a trail of kisses from your neck your stomach. He grabbed your waist to kiss your on your bellybutton.

"Is it okay if I remove it?" he said hinting at your leggings. You lifted your lower body to help him remove it and threw it away. He gave your core a kiss then carried you in bridal style to place you on the bench press.

He spread your legs and buried his face between them. You wouldn't have never expected such an innocent face to do such unholy things to your body in your life. He sucked your clit which sent electrics all throughout your body. He ate you out as though you were the most tastiest meal he's ever had. You crushed his head with your thighs but he didn't seem to mind that as he continued doing his job. You were pulling his hair so hard screaming his name making sure people passing nearby could hear how good he was making you feel.

His soft hands ran through your thighs making small circle motions on them to soothe you.

"Ar-Armin, I-,"

"It's okay love you can spill it on my face, I want every single drop down my throat," Armin panted.

What he said set off a trigger and the knot in your stomach snapped. All your juices went on Armin's face and he ensured to have swallowed everything.

He retreated away from your opening swipping your cum with his fingers and licking them off. While you were collecting your breath, Armin took off his sweatpants and let his hardened dick free.

"Do you mind if I -," he insinuated with his dick at your entrance.

"Please Armin don't hesitate," you were practically begging him. You expected him to slide it in but instead he was stroking your folds with his swollen member. This felt so good it sent you in a rollercoaster of immense pleasure. You could feel his veins pulsating against your own pulsating clit.

While he was caressing your cunt, his hands went to grab your boobs and fondled them.

His up and down motion continued as he was mixing his precum with your wetness.

Your overwhelming neediness pushed you to grind on him as he was moving so slowly. With instinct you lifted your hips as shivers were sent through your spine. Noticing this Armin picked up speed and with his hand rubbed your clit hard. He bent over to give you a kiss on your nose then to make out with you.

"Ah-ah, y/n-I'm going to cum," Armin moaned.

"Cum with me Armin," you breathed.

Suddenly he picked up more speed and thrusted faster. His dick was moving so quick on you, the lewd sound of your pussy's liquids filled the gym. Armin held your hands and intertwined your fingers. He let out a grunt as he came on your stomach and you on the bench.

He looked at you with such love in his eyes and reached out to wipe your tears and kissed your hands.

He fetched your leggings while he also cleaned the bench leaving no marks of this incident. Since your legs were shaking so much you could barely walk, Armin carried you to the bathroom.

After you went to pee, he made you sit on a stool and he tied your hair back in a ponytail. Hugging you from the back he asked, "Are you feeling okay now beautiful or do you need anything?"

"Water?" you replied.

"Anything for you," he went to fetch the requested item.

Just at that moment your friends returned.

You thanked the universe for not making them arrive while you were making love with Armin and you kept your cool acting as though nothing happened.

Thus, this was the start of a wonderful relationship.

End.

Thank you for reading. :)

[lilyharvord]

If you get the chance can you write a short fanfic about mare having baby fever? LOL the idea just popped in my head of like all her friends having kids and baby clara making it extreme and at first shes all like no kids and suddenly is like to cal gimme like 10, and ofc hes happy to do so :)

I love conflicted Mare. :))))

Baby Fever Drabble

“He’s gorgeous Lou.” Ruth announced as she held her fifth grandchild, and bounced him until he cooed and then gurgled. Turning to face the window so the light shone down on the massive blanket she was cradling, Ruth glanced him over again. The room was mostly empty, a majority of the cousins had been shuttled out to the little café downstairs to grab breakfast, and the rest of Mare’s family had gone with them. It was just her, Tramy, Lou, their daughter Elowyn, Bree’s eldest son Wes, Clara, Farley, and Ruth. It was nice though, the room had been so loud a couple minutes ago. Silence was precious by this point.

Glancing over her shoulder, Ruth grinned at her daughter. “Mare have you held him yet?”

Glancing up from listening to Wes as he chattered her ear off about the frogs he’d caught over the weekend with Kilorn, Mare shook her head. Next to her, Clara was napping in Farley’s lap after trying to stay awake all night waiting for her cousin to arrive, and stirred before sighing and settling again.

Before Mare could protest Ruth had already slipped the baby into her arms. “Oh, um, I—” He was heavy and Mare had to stifle a grimace as she imagined how much Lou’s back must have hurt the entire pregnancy. She seemed pretty content now though, and Tramy looked more like a bird puffing out it’s chest, as if he did anything for the past nine months. Their daughter Elowyn was napping in his arms exhausted just like Clara. How had her family gotten so big in the past few years? It seemed like the number of nieces and nephews had multiplied exponentially when she turned her back for a day. First Bree and Tora had Wes, and then Elowyn came along, and then Bree and Tora had announced the twins, and now there was this new baby. Even Sara and Julian had one of their own, a toddler now who stared at her like Julian used to over his desk. Everytime she turned around there was a new baby, and she would be lying if she said she hadn’t felt an… itch.

Because that was really all it was for a bit, just an itch. She scratched it by watch Wes and Elowyn, and babysitting Clara for a day. But after the twins and this baby, that itch was like a crawling wave all over her body. It drove her insane that she was thinking about it all the time. She’d think about it for hours while lying in bed, just watching Cal sleep. She’d think about it while making coffee, and while she showered and while she trained. She had started noting any new baby at the little market near her apartment every time she went. And a week ago, she’d almost not taken that little white pill that ensured everything stayed exactly as it was. When she had done that, she realized there might be a problem.

Her nephew yawned, stretching tiny pink lips into a perfect circle before closing his eyes. Ruth had been right, he was gorgeous. With little tufts of bronze hair, and delicate cheek bones that no baby really needed. Honestly, it was surprising Lou had let anyone else hold him. If this was her baby, Mare wouldn’t have let anyone near him. Her baby would be a lot prettier, she decided right then and there. Not that it mattered, she wasn’t planning on having a baby… ever. Mare Barrow was not built to be a mother. She was a wonderful aunt, because she could give the baby back whenever she needed to, and she could leave for the front whenever she was called for like she had to do. A baby did not fit into that mix.

But a baby that was half her and half Cal? She’d been thinking about it again yesterday while Cal was leaned over the sink shaving. It would be a boy, she decided that while he ran the razor over his jaw. He’d have Cal’s height, and build, and maybe a few of his other features. Those amber eyes wouldn’t hurt, and that smile? Well, maybe not the smile. That smile is what made her fall in love with Cal, and she could not deal with a string of broken hearts trailing her son around. Because without a doubt he would have her track record in that department. He’d have a face that was impossible to say no to, and a laugh that made her world a little bit brighter every time he let it loose. She’d name him Shade. It had been something itching at the back of her mind ever since her brothers had decided not to name any of their sons that.

“Now that is a sight.” Farley teased, making Mare startle and wake the baby in her arms.

Glaring at her friend, who smirked in response, Mare grumbled. “What’s a sight?”

“That face tells me you’re weighing the consequences and options.” Farley at least had the decency to drop her voice when she said that. It still brought all the blood to Mare’s cheeks at the insinuation, and the fact that she had been so obviously caught. She recovered quick enough that she wasn’t completely embarrassed though.

“What consequences and options?”

“Nine months doesn’t seem too long anymore does it, Mare?” Farley shrugged as she shifted Clara and went to rise from the plastic couch they’d occupied for the better part of three hours. “And besides,” bending down so her next words were for Mare only, Farley tilted her head in mock consideration, “Making it will probably be the fun part for you.”

If she didn’t need both hands to hold a baby, she would have actually slapped Farley for that. Mare’s neck joined her cheeks in burning bright red, and she tried to shrink away from that searching smile.

“You were thinking about it.”

“I wasn’t thinking about anything.” Mare grumbled before getting up as well, forcing Farley back a step so they didn’t smack foreheads. She stole across the room and deposited Tramy’s son in Lou’s arms, before trying to slip out of the room at the same speed. But Farley knew her too well, and Mare cursed her short legs once more when Farley’s strides caught up with hers.

“Just admit it, you have baby fever.” Farely teased as she shifted Clara to a better hold so she could nudge Mare’s shoulder. Not expecting the push, Mare stumbled to the side, and glared as Farley laughed.

Crossing her arms and standing her ground, she looked Farley up and down. The general was still beautiful, and would remain that way for the rest of her life probably. Even balancing a child on her hip, she was imposing. Mare twisted her lip at the thought. With a baby on her hip, Mare knew she would be far less terrifying.

“I don’t have baby fever because I don’t want kids.”

“For someone who doesn’t want them, you spend an awful lot of time staring wistfully at your husband while he plays with them.” Farley raised a brow, and smothered another smile which only made Mare raise her chin in argument. Even if she was right, she didn’t have to state that out loud within earshot of anyone.

“I don’t stare wistfully.” She argued, the words clipped and sharp. Like Farley, she had her own military tone now. It normally refuted any argument before it could begin, but Diana Farley had never been afraid of her. And that was not going to change with a few sharp words.

Rolling her eyes with a mocking nod, Farley turned on her heel to continue down the hallway. “Of course Mare.”

“I don’t!” Mare shouted at her back, drawing the attention of a nurse at one of the stations. Glaring in the woman’s direction, Mare stomped after Farley. It was pointless to refute whatever thought her friend had, because she wasn’t wrong. Mare just refused to admit it. She did sometimes catch herself sitting on her parent’s back porch watching Cal play with the horde of cousins. He never got tired of it, and the way he laughed when he was with them sometimes bit at her heart. They all adored him, and followed him around as much as the young Ardents had at the Notch. She knew he’d caught her watching a few times, and had given her a knowing, bittersweet smile she never returned.

And sure they’d… talked about things like that. But never seriously. It was always after one too many glasses of wine when they were sprawled out of the couch half-dressed and teasing. Fantasizing about kids was fine then, because they still didn’t physically exist. And Cal had never made an overt moves or comments to tell her that he wanted to have kids right this second. What if she was the only one feeling the itch this strongly and he shot down her idea? He was just as practical, if not more than her sometimes. They both knew the truth and the risk of having a child far outweighed the idea of having it. There were too many variables they couldn’t control, too many horrible outcomes that they’d face. It was better to just fantasize.

“It’s too dangerous.” Mare spoke quietly, and even though she thought her friend wasn’t listening, it got Farley’s attention.

Pausing so Mare could catch up, Farley raised her brow again. “What isn’t dangerous in this life Barrow?”

“This would be even more so. The Silver Secession has not let up, and with the State still in a precarious position—”

“The States will always be in a precarious position. It’s the nature of that mess of a country.” Farley argued with a huff. She wasn’t wrong, but it didn’t change the fact that Cal was always going to be running back and forth to uphold his duties as a general.

Pursing her lips in irritation, Mare glanced to the side to avoid Farley’s stare. No matter how many times she faced it, it still cut her to the core. Those diamond hard eyes were too perceptive, and they always found the truth, even when Mare buried it deep.

“I think there is something else keeping you. You’ve never been worried about the Secession and you’ve never been worried about Cal and the States.” Farley tilted her head to the side before shifting Clara again. The young girl blinked awake, honey eyes still dreamy as she looked at her mother and then at Mare. “But you’re obviously not ready to talk about it.”

Shoving her hands in the pockets of her jacket, Mare fidgeted with her ring. She knew there was a truth, a deep one she didn’t want to admit. A fear that ran deeper than the pestering Silver Secession and the nagging worry when Cal was gone in the States. It had haunted her for her whole life, and it would probably continue to do so.

“When you want to talk about it,” Farley whispered, her voice slipping into that gentle tone she so rarely used, “I am all ears Barrow.”

Mare considered it for half a second and opened her mouth to say something, only for the doors to burst open next to them and the twins to race by her, shouting like banshees. Clara perked up immediately, and squirmed until Farley sighed and set her down to race after the rest of the cousins. They all skidded around the corner together, pushing and giggling as they went. Craning her neck to make sure they went the right way, Farley sighed before turning back to Mare with an expectant eye.

Bree’s shoved his way between them though, grinning down at Mare and saying, “Pardon me, didn’t see you there.”

“Very funny. The short jokes died when we were ten, Bree.” Mare let a few sparks snap at his elbow as he tried to avoid her. Yelping at the sensation, he rubbed the spot and glowered like a child at her.

“Glad I’m not the only who gets that punishment.” Cal’s warmth always proceeded him, and this time was no different. Sliding an arm around Mare’s shoulders he pulled her close. “Is Lou finally sleeping?”

Pushing Bree along when he tried to linger, Farley responded for her. “Doubtful. The baby will want to eat, and then he’ll have to be passed around like a sack of potatoes for a little bit longer before she can sleep.”

“Sounds miserable.” Cal’s hand slid along her shoulders until his fingers brushed along Mare’s neck, tracing scars that he knew like a roadmap. The touch sent a shiver down her spine, and brought goosebumps to the surface. Glancing up, she considered him for a heartbeat. Maybe he hadn’t been joking when he told her she’d look lovely pregnant, when she’d insisted she wouldn’t. Maybe he had been serious when he said they should consider moving to the same neighborhood as Bree and Tora. Maybe he had been feeling this insatiable itch just as long as her.

When she finally dragged her eyes away from his profile, it was to see Farley struggling to hide a smirk. Even though it was completely childish, Mare stuck her tongue out at her bitterly.

“I obviously missed whatever just happened.” Cal’s hand slid away from her, but not before Mare caught it and laced her fingers with his.

“Farley’s being annoying, which is why we’re leaving.” Mare announced before pulling him toward the doors. Farley only laughed in response to her.

Throwing one more good glare over her shoulder as she pushed Cal through the doors, Mare stuck her tongue out one more time.

[herstarburststories]

illicit love

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x reader

Summary: Jensen loves you, but sometimes love isn’t the right thing.

A/N: Hey, guys! All we needed was a newish fic to say that I was really back, here it is! This one goes for @negans-lucille-tblr 6k challenge. So glad you got to another millestone, honey. It's like I was posting my part for your 5k celebration just yesterday! xD Prompt in bold.

Warnings: age gap, cheating

Jensen Ackles kept squinting through the bricks of his memory in an attempt to recall where it all began. Maybe it was when he drove off the road he had known for years with the dumbfounded desire to take the trails yet traveled, threading his fingers through your hair on the night of September 7th. He could’ve chosen the easy out and say it all started to crumble with the first kiss, but no. The actor, father, and now horrible husband highly doubted that. No, as he unwound the convoluted wires in his mind, it wasn’t the first clandestine meeting that he saw as the beginning, not the first kiss or the primal stolen glances. It wasn’t even the lies or the way he pushed his body against yours in an act of illicit faith.

Like any grand mistake, it was way before that. Just like how the church not-so-gently advised, it all starts with craving something you never thought you would want.

It happened when he landed the job in a new series after leaving a fifteen-year-long rollercoaster, pushing away any real witness to the fact the old show that swallowed part of his soul was over. There was a certain shock of excitement misplaced by the fact he was going to be working with Eric again, and that the show was an abrupt change considering what he had been doing previously. Now, he believed it was his body’s particular way of telling him that — as the savage animals can sense rain or a calamity — this, baby, this is gonna change your life.

JENSEN ACKLES CAST AS SOLDIER BOY!

‘’Since when have you read comics?’’ Jensen arched his messy eyebrows at Dee’s curiosity about the Homelander and Soldier Boy panel making it to the screen. Shaking the comic book in his right hand slightly, he continued: ‘’Especially that kind.’’

‘’Never,’’ Danneel stated plainly, “but I have Google. It was pretty much the first thing that appeared.’’

‘’Well, Eric said that scene won't be on the screen. Besides, the portrayal won't be that Soldier Boy, but the original one who died in the war. ‘Course, he wouldn’t have died there in our show, but it ain’t the panel one.’’ He shrugged, bringing her closer to his side as she snuggled against him. ‘’There’ll be a bunch of Herogasm, which is basically drugs and sex. Just not with Homelander.’’

Danneel nodded at his explanation, humor clinging to her words as she added: ‘’Guess the only man I have to share you with is still Jared.’’

‘’Hey, you knew what you were getting yourself into.’’ Jensen scoffed playfully before kissing her cheek. ‘’Can't wait to start the show.’’

Jensen leaned forward to rest the comic that he had been religiously studying to form a psychological character profile on the dashboard of the Impala. The actor was spending plenty of hours inside his most palpable Supernatural souvenir -- Baby. His safe place. He sure as hell needed one of those, as molding a whole character that has a bunch of source material wasn’t as easy as he pictured. With Dean, he was putting himself and the script in one until it made his imaginary best friend. It was love at the first sight. Soldier Boy, however, was a long story short. Jensen figured he should do both, honor the character created and add his own special ingredients to it. It was a brand new kind of passion that he hadn’t done for a series in the longest time. Still, his glance trailed back to the woman by his side in the backseat.

‘’Let's hope it won't last another decade,” she mocked.

Jensen shook his head with a chuckle, relaxing against the leather seat. Even the mere smell of the Impala was enough to settle his nerves. ‘’Eric has plans for five seasons.’’

Danneel’s features contorted as if having war flashbacks. Sort of. She never imagined Supernatural would make it that far, and now with three kids, signing on for another excessively time-consuming idea for a new show didn’t seem too appealing either. Yet, she would support Jensen in any decision he’d take regarding his job. “Remind me the last time I heard that line before?” 

‘’Come on.’’ He let out a wry huff, poking her side in a playful manner. She couldn't help but laugh, returning the gesture with tickles to start a very light-hearted battle. He seemed happy with the new job, something Danneel truly thought he would have more difficulty with. She’d pushed her weathered worries away with his easy-going laughter for now.

SOLDIER BOY’S LOVE INTEREST?

Eric Kripke threw the gossip magazine on the table, his eyes not straying from his long-time friend’s. He could’ve simply added the digital article to an irate email and be done with it, but he was a simple man with extravagant taste. That had been usual through his whole career, especially regarding the Supernatural aesthetic. Yet, in those mundane situations, Jensen almost found it too much. That wasn’t the case, though. If anything, the plain, yet still overpowering words that his green eyes scanned made his body sweat. He could even hear his organs working from the absolute silence of the blame that covered the room. Kripke’s room had never seemed more like an interrogation chamber than now.

The magazine in question held Jensen and your picture on the cover, his arms wrapped around your torso as he pulled you close. The most sequin smile hung from your lips like happiness was something that could be touched on that sunny day in the private park near the studio. Giant and garish letters made the headline along with the subline: Jensen Ackles wearing his Soldier Boy costume caught sharing a passionate kiss with the new arrival of The Boy’s Team: Y/N Y/L/N, also known on-screen as Cangaceira!

His voice came out as an accusation: ‘’What’s this, Jensen?’’

‘’We were…’’ The director just waved his hand to interrupt.

‘’Don’t try saying you were practicing a scene because I wrote the Soldier Boy and Cangaceira kiss, and it wasn’t here.’’ Acid tainted his words with no space for fake niceties on his set. Jensen remained in the chair, not even daring to make the most subtle move. Eric knew where he was hitting, and Ackles deserved a punch in the jaw. “The sex scene wasn’t here either, but you two added a lot of erotic subtext. Trust me, I know.’’

His shoulders fell in exhaustion. ‘’Eric…’’

‘’You’re lucky we were going to make those two a couple anyway. I can just put the kiss here and save your ass. What if that wasn’t the case, huh?’’ the director continued, more interested in spilling out his anger than listening to dumb excuses. ‘’What about Danneel, Jensen? You have a wife and kids, for God’s sake!’’

The breaking point. Jensen rose to his feet with sudden frustration, a growl leaving his lips as he pushed the chair to the side with uncharacteristic brutality. How could Eric bring up his family like this? And how could Jensen’s heart not bring them up when he kissed you before?  It was all a fucking mess, and he had no choice but to choke down whatever came out of it, even if it was poison and spite.

‘’Fuck, Eric! Do you think I don’t know that? Do you think it doesn’t pull me apart every time I go home and know I’m lying to the people who love me?’’ The vein on his neck popped as he spoke, emotion gushing thicker through his arteries than blood. Woe remerged under his skin as he swallowed dryly, resting his hands on the table and looking down. That wasn’t him. He had done a lot of things that weren't him lately. ‘’I have enough guilt here, pal.’’

Eric just glared down at the man’s outburst, furrowing before asking, ‘’What’s going on, Jay? You don’t just get up and cheat on your wife. That ain’t you.’’

He shook his head. ‘’I don’t know. Y/N’s just…’’

‘’At least 20 years younger than you,” he stated. ‘’Just starting her career and might be getting the homewrecker title if someone finds out.’’

‘’I won’t let that happen.’’

‘’How? You are gonna be more careful or will you cut it out and go back to your wife and three kids?’’ When Ackles didn’t respond, Eric sighed. ‘’Just stop this, Jensen. Let her go.’’

Jensen scoffed humorlessly. ‘’I can’t.’’

Kripke felt like talking to a teenager. He shook his head as he got up. ‘’Do you have any idea what you’re doing here? This could destroy your family, destroy Y/N’s chance to make a name when you already have your own. That’s selfish in all proportions, Jensen!’’

‘’I know, I know.’’

‘’She deserves more than this and —’’

‘’I know.’’

‘’You are gonna mess up everyone’s lives —’’

‘’I know!’’ He slammed the table and winced, turning around with his hands on his head. If only he could stop his thoughts for a second and reorganize his feelings. ‘’Do you think it doesn’t rip my heart out that I can’t love her?’’

‘’Who?’’ The burning question was ready to set everything ablaze. ‘’You can’t love Y/N, or you can’t love your wife anymore, Jensen?’’

He couldn’t love you in public. He couldn’t love Danneel anywhere. Love just escaped through his reaches when you spoke his name like a prayer, and it was time to accept that.

‘’Both.’’

NO CHICK FLICK MOMENTS: SOLDIER BOY AND CANGACEIRA TALK ABOUT WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THEIR RELATIONSHIP

‘’It's amazing to portray with Jensen. I’ve watched Supernatural since I was like twelve, which probably isn't advisable.’’ You chortled, answering the reporter’s question. Your body could barely contain your excitement under your skin, although, why would you want that? You did it. You got the job you had dreamed and worked hard for. To a bonus, you were working with Jensen Ackles! If there was someone that had earned the right to scream to the sky until your face was the color of the red carpet your heels currently stood on, it was you. ‘‘I was even a Samgirl!’’

Jensen faked a gasp next to you, a light spectrum surrounding the interview. ‘’Really? Me too!’’

You pushed his shoulder playfully while he chuckled. ‘’Anyway, I'm very excited to be here and portray a strong latina superhero. The representation’s very important, and to be able not only to cherish it, but to be a part of it doing what I love and inspiring people like me is… mythical.’’

‘’Wow, woman!’’ Ackles pursed his lips, clapping a little before shifting his gaze from you to the reporter. ‘’She likes the big words. I swear, dude. She’ll just come and in like, a casual conversation, say something like gelid or whilst, and then she's gonna say dumbass. Both sound smart as heck.’’

You winked. ''It's the accent. Makes everything sound nice.”’

Jensen nodded but was quick to sprinkle in an incendiary remark to his compliments. ‘’Yeah, I have never seen someone confuse coach and couch before. Go sit on the coach got a lot of wrong ideas.’’

‘’Hey, you sat on the coach!’’

‘’Because I’m a good boy.’’

You rolled your eyes despite the grin on your lips. ‘’Sure, mister hours-to-get-ready.’’

‘’Hey, plenty of face masks are needed to keep this — ’’ He pointed at his face. ‘’at fourteen.’’

‘’All I hear is that you’re old.’’ Your eyebrows knitted together. Jensen licked his lips at the sight. On any other day, he’d pick you up, say I’m gonna show you who’s old, and enjoy where your teasing had gotten you two, but he couldn’t do it now. You’d get what was coming to you after the event, perhaps even under the table if your dress allowed it, or in the bathroom, if you kept going.

The mischievous smirk on your cherry-stained lips proved that you knew what was going through his mind. God, you were his sweet death. Nonetheless, Jensen sighed dramatically and looked at the camera. ‘’This is what I have to deal with every day.’’

The reporter went on, happily surprised about how comfortable you and Jensen seemed together. Usually, new coworkers were timider around each other during interviews, especially when they were a romantic pair. The journalist decided to try getting a little sneak peek of the couple aspects of Soldier Boy and Cangaceira.

‘’It's definitely interesting.’’

‘’But not in the best way.’’ The only thing more messed up than Jensen’s relationship with you was the correlation between your characters. At least you and he had the purity of love, even if it was twisted enough to turn heads and churn stomachs

‘’Certainly not in the best way.’’ You agreed, bringing him back into reality as always. ‘’It's really nice to explore a couple that doesn't consist of two white people getting to it like most main characters of the shows in our current climate. It’s not the kind of relationship you should be rooting for — not because it's interracial or anything, that's pretty much the biggest, if not only, positive aspect about those two — but because they aren’t healthy at all, just as all main relationships in our show. It's not a romance series, and we certainly don't treat our couples like it.’’

‘’Told you she is the beauty and the brains.’’ His cheeks dimpled with joy and pride as he looked at you. Jensen knew how excitedly nervous you were about that interview. He couldn’t wait to tell you how great you were like you were born to sell dreams and magazines. ‘’But yeah, it’s a messed up relationship like any other in The Boys. After all, it's not a respectful, wholesome show. It's about gritty superheroes that ain’t got heroism. Soldier Boy isn't a good guy, and it translates in his relationship too.’’

You nodded in agreement, brushing his arm to keep you sane. ‘’It’ll be an interesting dynamic to see on-screen to our show standards, but it's not an actual picture of how a relationship should be.’’

THE BOYS 100TH EPISODE PARTY!

The glimmer of his green comet eyes caught your undivided attention in the throngs of people. The crowd had gathered for his family, his arm around his wife's waist as you both shared a tender, stolen look. You savored her wine and yearned for the man in her arms.

It was just a small celebration due to COVID’s lasting effects on public events. People from the set and their significants together were in the Ackles house for a couple of drinks, small talk, and a cake with The Boy’s comics printed on it.

‘’Aunt Y/N!’’ JJ tugged your dress, her mix of Danneel and Jensen’s features almost haunting your soul. Almost. You would never despise a kid for that — you didn’t even have the right to. If anything, JJ was the one that would graduate to hating you someday. You didn't have enough youthful stupidity not to know the risks of being in love with a married man. ‘’Auntie!’’

You leaned in the most that you could with the red skirt, glancing at the child. ‘’Yes, honey?’’

‘’That’s my new Barbie! I bought a beach one! She looks like you!’’ the blonde kid said with a childish joy that ached in your heart. You could end up destroying her family’s stability if Jensen went any further, yet there she was; buying dolls that looked like you and so happily babbling about it.

You were a monster. Love opened you up and planted greedy seeds, and now you were a monster growing like a beautiful tree that could never be strong enough to hold a kid as they climbed up. The fact that you could sense Jensen’s eyes on your ass didn’t help one bit.

‘’She does! That’s so cute, JJ.’’

‘’You can be her. I have one who looks like mommy, I’ll be her, ‘kay?’’

Your nausea was replaced by a pageant smile and a nod, and so you spent the night sharing longing stares with the dad and playing dolls with the daughter. It was a role that was never yours.

ILLICIT AFFAIR? JENSEN ACKLES SEEN ON THE BEACH WITH Y/N Y/L/N

‘’I can’t believe you did this to me, to our family,‘’ Danneel screamed exasperatedly as she threw her clothes in a bag and heart on the wall. Jensen just stood there, accepting the deserved fury. ‘’Ten years of my life, Jensen, and you just threw it away for a mistress! I gave up on my job to be a stay at home mom because you didn’t want a babysitter. I supported you in every moment. I loved you!’’

‘’I’m sorry…’’

‘’You don’t get to be sorry,” she howled, glaring at him with the hatred of an overthrown nation. She felt like he got to the podium and forgot to say her name. ‘’You let that woman get in my house, drink my wine, talk to my children…’’

Reflexively, he said, ‘’Our.’’

‘’Shut the fuck up! There’s no ours anymore, no us!’’ Her words had garnered a learned violence, much louder than the sound of the zipper closing her duffel bag. She threw the CC exclusive on the floor, holding onto the handle for dear life. He didn’t deserve to see her breaking, only her anger. ‘’You destroyed our family, you destroyed me!’’

He pleaded, unable to discern if it was for her or the guilt: ‘’Dee.’’

‘’I hope you’re happy. I hope you go to her, get her to sleep on our bed, and be happy for a month.’’ She gulped, pursing her lips. Her glossy eyes coupled with the pink hue of her lipstick brought back a treacherous memory of their wedding day. ‘’And then, I hope she cheats, like you did to me.’’

The next headline didn’t call it love.

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[bomberqueen17]

vacaaaaay

ok i accidentally held down the a key there but i like it so i’m leaving it.

meandering travelogue behind the cut, nothing exciting has happened yet

so we set out yesterday, sister 4 (Farmsister), sister 3 (Middle-Little), Farmkid, and me, in #4′s minivan, with all kinds of stuff in it, crammed full. Dude had shared his location with me when he left Buffalo; he had a 5-hour drive so he left ahead of us, planning to arrive later than us. So I shared my location back, but IDK if he could see it.

(We started off well; I had to hide to let 4 and her husband pack the car, as I’m quite good at it but, as BIL said in his kind-but-intense way, too many cooks, so I went out and washed and packed eggs to be out of the way. But then 3 was supposed to show up at noon, and had said she’d probably really show up at 12:30, and at 12:47 she rolled in insisting she wasn’t late. Ha! And then she had like six huge boxes of booze we had to cram into the van but we managed perfectly well.)

I rode next to the kid, and had 3 doing navigation while 4 drove. It was only 3 hours, and I hadn’t realized until now how extremely used to driving 4.5 I am.

We left with just a little water sprinkling the windshield. 3 had already seen a convoy of National Grid trucks heading south as she’d made her way about on errands that morning. We saw another collection of them once we got on the highway toward New York City.

Soon it began to rain, and then to pour; we were driving along the leading edge of Hurricane Henri. It was slow going at times, but we kept making steady progress. 4 had intended to switch off driving with one of us others, but never got around to it. We crossed into Pennsylvania and lost cell service, having lost track of Dude somewhere around Binghamton.

But 3 hours passed faster than we thought. Kid demanded near-constant snacks, and drank a liter of water, but did not need a potty break. 4 needed the potty first but swore she could make it. We all contemplated that sense of urgency where you’re like ‘if I get in a traffic accident i will definitely have a separate little accident of my own oh no’, and the frisson of danger that adds.

The last bit of road was quite narrow and winding. “Don’t wreck,” 4 said. We made inquiring noises and she said “oh I’m just giving myself a pep talk.”

“I should check in with the others,” 3 said, and sent a message to the groupchat. Both my phone and 4′s eventually dinged, once we got a bar of cell reception back (and I found that Dude was nearly in Scranton, huzzah), and after a moment 3 looked at her phone again to see if there were any replies, and started laughing. “I just sent that to the groupchat of just us,” she said. “The only people who got that message are in this car.”

She re-sent it to the larger groupchat, and noticed on 4′s phone, which was in the dash holder with navigation on it, that she came up as Probable Spam. “Hey am I not in your phone?” she demanded, offended.

“Look closer,” 4 said, and 3 did, and realized the name Probable Spam was accompanied by a photograph of her holding a can of Spam, and remembered then that she’d done this herself, added herself to the contact list under that name because she’d thought it was funny. 4 has an Android phone anyway so actual suspected scam calls come through as Spam Likely. The only downside is when she’s searching for 3 in her phonebook 3 of course does not come up under her first or last name.

Somehow despite Mom having left Maryland (with Other Niece) on track to arrive before us, she had not arrived yet when we did. So it was up to us to figure out the gated community’s entrance.

The GPS was correct about how to get there, and we managed. It was pouring rain. We pulled up to the garage door and 4 sprinted up to the combination lock front door, intending to come down and let us into the garage, but there was no way out there. So we had to unload the car up the wooden front steps in the pouring rain. Farmkid fell twice but being seven, she bounced and was unhurt. The tile entryway was a bit of a nightmare in the wet and the rain, but again, Farmkid was the only one who slipped on it. She was-- she’d been so quiet in the car, she’s used to long car rides, but as soon as we got there she was YELLING and RUNNING and SO EXCITED and THIS IS GONNA BE MY BEDROOM and MOMMY AND [other niece] ARE GONNA SLEEP HERE WITH ME and LOOK HOW MANY ROOMS and all of it.

The first thing we unpacked was the cooler. The last thing I’d done before we left was run out to the picking garden and harvest huge handfuls of herbs; I put them all into drinking glasses and set them on the windowsill by the sink. We’d also brought last week’s leftover flowers, so I put them into glasses and pitchers and vases and set them around. It was extremely bougie but I’m rather delighted with the effect, and glad I did that first. I’ll take a photo later, I took no photos yesterday really.

We’d completely unloaded in the pouring rain and moved the van out of the way when we got a call from Mom, who’d made it in the gated community entrance but then her GPS wouldn’t tell her where to go. Fortunately the AirBnB rental had included step-by-step directions and 4 had printed them, so she read them off and talked Mom in. When she arrived, we unloaded her car in seconds flat, and then BOTH little girls could tear-ass around the house bossily informing all of us who was sleeping where.

“We are not making a decision on bedrooms,” 4 said, with great authority and patience, “until Sister 1 arrives, because she may have some conditions we don’t know about, so we have to let her look and cast her vote before we make any permanent arrangements.”

This did not deter the girls, who kept turboing around as we unloaded the coolers and set up the kitchen and tried to clear the foyer of all the luggage. Poor farmkid was a bit overstimulated, bright pink and agitated, but she did manage to calm herself down a little instead of having a meltdown. (She’d been so excited to see her cousin, who is just a year and a half older than her, but in the moment it was almost too much, as cousin was also QUITE wound up and slightly aggressive. Mom had accidentally given her free run of the snacks and there’d been chocolate covered espresso beans in there, but fortunately she’d stopped after three or four of them. Still, a mildly-caffeinated 9 year old who was just cooped up for three hours is not the most rational of actors.)

It was another half an hour until Sister 1 arrived with her sons. Her husband had just bought a big esoteric new piece of equipment he’d needed her help and the boys’ to set up, and had gotten it working *just* as they’d been planning to leave, so they’d had to delay their departure. That BIL is... not great at considering other people and their plans, but 1 seems contented enough to work around this tendency of his, and he is a decent dude apart from that. At any rate, they got their father squared away and then piled into their van and we all helped unload, and the boys joined in the No THIS will be MY room Discourse until 4 finally said “NO ONE IS MAKING A DECISION EXCEPT SISTER #1 SHE IS THE SOLE AUTHORITY”, so the very first thing that happened when 1 finally set foot in the house is that all the children presented themselves loudly to her.

“I,” she said, with great poise and grace, being a newly-minted colonel (just on Thursday! we haven’t drunk our champagne about it yet) and quite used to this sort of nonsense, “am taking a tour of the bathrooms first, and then I will hear your petitions, view the scene, and make my determination.”

So we left her to that, and I got the fridge stocked, and in the midst of that, my dude arrived, just in time to be told where to go and what to do, which delighted him (he loves a good decision already-made).

The house is.... well the development is lovely, they left it very very forested so the houses are crammed in but don’t seem to be. This house would benefit greatly from having someone live in it, because the rental is set up to look good in photos and be easy to clean. There’s a cathedral ceiling in the main room, and with no rugs or soft furnishings it is so echoey as to be unusable for conversation. As it was pouring rain on the skylights, we couldn’t hear one another at all, and then the children yelling made it absolutely unbearable.

We did get them calmed down, and had a pleasant dinner at the ridiculous table-- it’s four narrow IKEA tables pushed together, with capacity for 16. We removed several chairs. 

All of 1′s kids, and 1 herself, are in the basement bedrooms. Me, 3, and Mom are in a small hallway on the main floor with three bedrooms and two baths, slightly isolated. And then there’s a master bedroom upstairs where 4 and Farmkid are, which 4 is slightly embarrassed at being the nicest room in the whole place, but like-- it’s only sensible to stick 1 and her kids together and she is not fussed at being in the basement. The boys wanted to each have their own rooms but then recognized it would be a bit much to stick 1, 4, and both girls in a single room together, even though the master bedroom is big enough that they could do that. The awkward bit there would be that the husbands each possibly might show up for a couple of days and it’d be weird to try to find places for them.

(Farm-BIL will be lucky to make it for one night. They just can’t leave the farm unattended with no staff. Other-BIL is also genuinely rather busy. So yes, my dude is the only adult male to show up, so far. He is utterly unfussed about this, as he’s quite used to my family. Though he is finding the noise distressing; we need to figure out how to muffle that cathedral ceiling. The kids are mostly old enough to be able effectively to be reminded to keep their voices somewhat down, but they’re also all old enough to be capable of making some serious noise; the teenaged boy’s voice hasn’t changed yet so he’s like full power but all of the shrill. Not an ideal acoustic situation.)

4 managed to cook dinner even though the electric range had all the markings worn off so there was no way to tell whether the burners were on or, if so, how high. THere was one incident with a very hot frying pan, but no one was injured. 3 found the vent fan on the range hood but that had the incidental effect of putting 4 into a cone of silence so she could not participate in any conversations while cooking, which was faintly hilarious.

There are several huge TVs in this house. We turned one on briefly, in the basement, after several (but not all) of our phones buzzed with tornado warnings and told us to seek shelter. The weather channel told us there were flash flood warnings but mentioned nothing about a tornado. So we waited in the basement briefly-- no hardship as the kids had already been down there playing pool and ping-pong-- and then went back up.

To make the living room usable we had stolen all the extra bedside lamps from the bedrooms and put them around in the room. The only lights are all in the ceiling, which is some 20 feet high or more; you can’t read by them. Obviously the room is designed for watching television, but that’s not something we as a family enjoy doing as a matter of course. I have a suspicion we wouldn’t have been able to hear it; the rain on the skylights was fierce by then. So really I’m not sure what that room is for, except looking great in photos. Probably good for reading by daylight because the roof’s all skylights, at least.

I of course have slept like shit, I’m writing this at 4am and I can tell you it only stopped raining a few minutes ago. But it’s supposed to be sunny the rest of the week. I am hoping that exhaustion will get me down for a nap later, and that there’ll be time, because I am in a fine state of not having slept really at all. Ugh. Oh well.

[zet-sway]

@the-wip-project day 35:

I don't know what today's question is but I gotta write a wall of text about what happened last night because holy shit

I was on the verge of falling asleep and, like I usually do, I decided to hunt for some spicy fanfics to read on my phone. I found one.

All my posts are long but this one is real fucking long. CW for touching on dub-con and injury mentioned in the type of context it probably shouldn't be.

It's time for me to admit that not only am I a oneshot writer, I'm also a oneshot reader. I am drawn to short fanfics. If I click on a chaptered fic, it's (usually) because it's rated E for smut and I'll go in with every intention of skimming it for the spicy bits. I'm not proud of this. I've avoided saying this for years because I don't want to disappoint people who work hard on their very long and well thought out chaptered stories. I have a short attention span, and I know what I want.

But anyway, last night I clicked on a fic with 5 chapters and some amount of words, around 30k? Long, by my standards, but I was tired and I just wanted something to read while I dozed off.

This particular fic hooked me in, though. I still skimmed it, but the writing was so unique in a way that made me writhe with writer's envy and admiration. Whoever wrote this had their own language - nothing borrowed - their own vision.

I guess I should tell the good people who read my posts (ya'll, seriously, thank you) that the fic in topic is called Fault Lines by Recidiva on AO3. I would link to it but uhhhh I may be using my work PC for "extracurricular purposes" right this moment ^^; so maybe when I get home I'll remember to add it.

I skimmed it - like I said above - for the spicy parts. It generally follows the plot of Bioware's canon. Thane begins as possessive and manipulative, likely uncomfortably close to dub-con for a lot of people. He kisses her and knows full well that his kiss will make her willing but intoxicated, and how he will use that to fulfil himself. But as the story progresses, he falls in love. Their relationship is what I'll call "edgy." Both of them are renegades. There's a scene where they get down in the shuttle after a fight and they're both still injured and it borders on downright unrealistic but fuck it, it's fanfic and I bought it. However their relationship develops a certain heart-wrenching tenderness. She asks him what Siha means over and over again, and eventually tells him she thinks "bitch" when he says it. But in that moment they have a playful banter, he knows full well she's probably already looked it up on the extranet, and they fall into bed together. The smut is mind-boggling.

By the time it gets to Shepard's arrest, he's taken up a place on Earth and visits her, breaks into her house arrest. There's a scene where they see each other for the first time in a while, she tells him how much she's missed his mouth and how it's not right how bad she wants him, and wants him bad enough to smother him with affection. She says something to the effect of "if you're looking to die, I'd volunteer to be the cause," implying that her lust is powerful enough to endanger his life. And it was at this moment I realized I fucked up.

It's established that I live in my own headcanon and I'm not burdened with considering the end of Thane's life as part of my fics. And the suspension of disbelief was such that I forgot he doesn't make it. So at this moment in the fic, chapter 4 out of 5, I realized "Oh shit this isn't going to have a happy ending." I skipped to the end right away, I wanted to confirm my fears.

In their final exchange, she asks him to lie to her - something that's repeated in other chapters of the story. I forget what he says, I was reading desperately, but he asks her in return to tell him something true. She kisses him and tells him she loves him, and he breathes his last breath with the lingering tingle of their kiss to carry him to the other side.

I was so entrenched in the depth of their relationship up to that point. The level of fathomless love the author conveyed, unlike anything I've ever managed to write before, but more realistic to my own understanding of love as I've experienced it. Not because they're renegades, but just the selflessness with which they feel, communicate, banter, and make love.

When I read that last paragraph, something inside me broke. That sounds dramatic but that's honestly how I would describe it. It felt like waking up from a night terror, when you bolt up in bed from a dream so bad you immediately get up even if it's 4am because nothing feels real and you're so terrified you have to get up and do something - literally anything to take your mind off it, to ease you back into reality. I put my phone down and stared into the darkness of my bedroom and told myself "it's just a fanfic, no need to get upset." And then I started to cry and I didn't stop for 30 minutes.

My husband was downstairs watching Bohemian Rhapsody and I went down there and wrapped myself around him so tight and cried. Bless this man, from the bottom of my heart - bless him - for his unfathomable kindness. I felt like a fucking fool because I was crying over fanfiction but he paused his movie and just listened while I tried to articulate how it wasn't exactly about the character death, or the characters at all, it was just the writing and how it wormed into my brain so convincingly. I felt the loss like it was my own loss. I am terrified of losing my husband. So many feelings coalesced and I realized one day I may be in that situation, kissing the man I love goodbye for the last time, never to hold him again. I'm at work right now and I'm tearing up because it's so hard.

I tip my hat to the author, but I genuinely wished I hadn't read that fanfic. And isn't it kind of funny after that grandstand I took yesterday about not wanting to write the pain of loss and grief, that I ended up reading it instead and probably fucking myself up just as badly, if not worse, than if I had tried to write it myself?

It gets worse, too. Because it got me thinking about my own writing, and how I could never hope to achieve what that author did. So I sat there crying out my painfeelings while simultaneously feeling like a shit writer and like nothing I put out matters. I got up from the couch, sat down at my PC and picked up where I left off in the Omega DLC in ME3 because video games are great for taking the mind off things. It didn't exactly help with the intensity I'd hoped for, but I managed to fall asleep, by 3am.

Fast forward to this morning. I dragged my sorry ass out of bed 4 hours later and drove to work. By some fucking miracle, no one is here right now except our field director. And I'm stewing in how this one fic really fucked me up bad, reconsidering everything. I feel like I've been put in my place.

So what changed?

Yesterday I posted about how I'm struggling to write a plotline. I know what happens, but I'm not interested in the little bits that tie it together. I want to write the romance. I think there's a way to write the plot and the romance at the same time, but it's damn hard.

I started doing this because I wanted to grow my skills as a writer, and I knew it might be more than I could chew. I'm at that moment now where I'm about ready to give up.

Even if I felt like a shit writer last night (and still kinda do this morning), I know that the stuff I've put out has value. We can't all write these epically tragic smut-romance-renegades-to-lovers tales, we'd all be sad all the damn time. There's a time and a place and - I would argue - even a need for lighterhearted fic out there. There are really no rules. I'm confident in what I know how to do.

But the plot. Fuck it, man. I think maybe I'm trying too hard to be something I'm not. I'm trying really hard to write like other people. I may have mentioned before that I saw a post about how many artists spend their time pining for the skills of others, thinking "wow, when I can draw like that, I'll have made it as an artist." That same post cautioned against this, basically saying you already have your own unique style, it's just harder to see through the lens of your own eyeballs. It's fine to challenge yourself but try to acknowledge what you do that sets you apart already. I feel like I have that something - maybe not to the extent that I wish, but I have something.

So what's the point of the plot? Why do I need to tell my readers how I cured Keprals? I'm asking myself important questions here. I like to think I've come up with ideas that no one else has, but as I said above, I don't read a lot of chaptered fics. I very well may have come to the same ideas as other writers and I'm not even aware of it. I don't know if my ideas are unique but I still arrived at them all by myself.

The challenge here - the thing I'm struggling so much with - is how to put them together with the same elegance of my fellow writers. I'm looking at you, shrios fam (yeah I'm calling you that, yall know who you are). I know I can write words, but it's like I have a bunch of pieces from completely different jigsaw puzzles and I'm struggling to make a new picture out of them. I struggle with the transitions between them.

The point here is I have to find my own way. And I have to stop taking myself so seriously. In fact this level of "seriousness" is one of the things that got me into so much angst over World of Warcraft over the last two years. At least I know how to recognize it.

I have to find my own way. I have my own things that are worth sharing. The author I read last night had a language all their own, and I have a language all my own too. Their wordplay was actually more choppy than I would ever write. I've talked before about how I'm scared of starting too many sentences with pronouns, how I maybe write too many run-on sentences, whatever. This author did that with reckless abandon. It worked for them. So if they can make that shit work, I can make my own shit work.

I have to find my own way.

My most current WIP is Thane and Shepard's first time. I've been working on it pretty nonchalantly because I hadn't intended to publish it until I built up to it. It takes place further into my timeline, and it would probably ruin the point of a slow burn if I put it out there now. There are some really memorably moments in this WIP, and there are other moments that need to be smoothed over as well. I never knew what I'd really imagined for their first time but I think I've mostly developed something that's unique in its own right, and I think will be fun for people to read.

I'm just so fucking torn over what to do with it. I feel guilty for working on it. I should be writing "other shit" leading up to it but I don't fucking want to. I actually wrote probably 2-3k words this weekend, which is a pretty staggering amount by my standards. Some of it was for this smutty WIP and some was for something I just threw together, Thane observing Shepard on Horizon and the emotional toll it takes on her. He's seeing her humanity. I don't know if it's worth it to continue but I wrote a lot of it and the words are more precise than usual for a draft, I don't know. I have so much fucking insecurity. Fuck dude. I want to write this longfic, but I don't want to write it. I want to skim to the spicy bits like I always do.

I am wracked with insecurity, of my own making. I know what I can do but I feel compelled to see this idea through. Somehow I have to find my own way.

TLDR I feel like if I don't publish something soon I'm going to burst and I don't even know what the fuck to work on first and fjslfjsojoiejrj

I would be really down for, like, a bunch of hugs and a bowl of ice cream shared over memes and fanservice.

[writingsfromhome]

Seaside Surprise

A/N: trying a fluffy fic, Y/N and Harry attend a cousin's wedding and you wonder when it's going to be your turn.

"Ms. Y/L/N?" My assistant pokes her head into my office. She has on the type of grin on her face that I know what she's going to say. "Your boyfriend's here."

"Of course he is," I decide I wasn't going to finish this report tonight after all. I asked Harry to wait in the car but of course he came up and charmed his way to my department. Not that my department minded, they were always bursting to see him. "Tell him I'll be a moment."

I slide my laptop into its case and do a quick touch up before heading out. "Hey," I give him a loving smile but my eyes are warning him.

"Hello love," he purposely ignores my warning and gives me a peck. "You've got a lovely staff."

I can practically hear the swooning so I just grab his jacket and haul him off the chair. "They're all very lovely. Let's go before we're late. Happy weekend everyone!"

"Bye ladies," Harry stays behind and rushes to catch up. He puts his hand on the small of my back as he reaches me. "Jealous?"

"No, I just don't know why you lead them on whenever you come up here."

"Well they know their boss is my girlfriend," Harry tugs me to him and kisses the top of my head. "It's nice getting to know the people you work with."

"If that's what you want to call it," I give up on the argument. "Do you think we'll get there by 6?"

"Traffic's not as bad if we hurry, rehearsal dinner's at 7 so that's the latest."

As we step into the lift and go down to the parking garage, I think about the destination ahead. A cousin of mine was getting married, they'd rented out this old castle where a lot of the guests were staying. It sounded magical--getting married in a castle.

I look at Harry, who's backing out and starting the two hour journey there. We met a few years ago and aside from some uncertainty at the beginning, we've been going strong for four years. We talked about kids and our dream weddings but I never fully knew whether he wanted to get married. Or if he was one of the don't fix what isn't broke type. I've always secretly wanted the big wedding so I never asked Harry in case he didn't want that. It would be crushing.

"What are you so quiet about?" Harry glances over.

"Oh just thinking, about the wedding tomorrow. Dinner tonight. I'm going to see a bunch of my family, that stuff."

"Hm," he hums. To avoid further conversation I turn on the radio and settle in for the drive.

***

With traffic we barely make it for 7, having just enough time to look decent before heading to the dining hall. I'm excited seeing all my family and I tear up as we all gather around and catch up over dinner. We're given reminders for tomorrow and the timeline even though we all had the schedule sent to our phones.

"Are you crying again?" Harry leans in. All night he stayed by my side, his arm around me or his hand on my knee. It was comforting having him by my side.

"I'm trying not to," I dab at my eyes with the napkin. "I'm just so happy for everyone."

Harry squeezes my thigh, "You're such a romanticist as much as you deny it."

I look up at him, my heart skips a beat like we were young lovers. I felt incredibly lucky to have him and I want to tell him so I kiss him. "I am. And I'm glad you're here."

"Get a room!" One of my cousins shouts as Harry's about to respond. We break apart laughing and they tease us until we're visibly flustered. What was family for after all.

Later that night as I pin up my wet hair to sleep in, Harry sits up in bed and watches. "Is that for tomorrow?"

"Yeah, so I have nice curls in the morning. The ones you like."

"Hmm, you'll look beautiful tomorrow whatever way you do your hair." Harry says. "Even if you cut off all your hair. I would still love the way you look."

By then I was done so I get into bed beside Harry. "Is that what you want me to do? For me to cut off all my hair?"

Harry cups my face and presses a gentle kiss on my lips. He leans back and I watch his eyes on me. His thumb strokes the side of my face, when it was just the two of us like this. Quiet and alone, with Harry's undivided attention on me, I couldn't help but feel shy. So I grab his hand off my face and thread my fingers through his to have something to do. He finally responds, "I want you to do what you want."

"Well...what do I want..." I think.

"What do you want?" Harry asks back. And I have a feeling we weren't talking about hairstyles anymore. I look away, could he sense the lead up go the wedding has me thinking about him and I. Where we were headed?

"A nice holiday from work, away from the city. A cute puppy, maybe three. Hm what else...world peace, a nicer boyf-"

Harry cuts me off before I could get to the joke. He kisses me so hard I forget anything else I was going to say.

***

The next morning is blurry chaos and I hardly believe I'm standing at the front watching my cousin walk down the aisle in her beautiful ivory dress. I can't help it, I tear up as my heart overflows when she reaches the front and I scan the crowd for my own love. Harry also has tears in his eyes and he's beaming at me. I smile through the tears and focus my attention to the front.

As soon as the newly married couple walk down the aisle the bridesmaids burst into tears. We hug each other, we were all so happy. I find Harry in the crowd and both of our mushy romantics feelings are just heightened by everyone else. Being in love never felt so good than at a wedding surrounded by everyone you do love.

I tell Harry I'll catch up later, heading off with the bridesmaids to help the bride change for the reception.

"So when is Harry going to pop the question?" My cousin asks as I hold her dress in my hands. "How long have you two been dating?"

"Four years," I say self consciously. My cousin dated her husband for two years before he proposed.

"Do you want to get married?" One of the bridesmaid asks.

"Duh," my cousin answers for me. "Y/N remember when we were kids and we made flower crowns and pretended to have fairy weddings?"

"Oh my god," The memory rushes forward. "I forgot about that."

"That's what adulthood does," someone else says. "Makes you forget all your dreams."

"Well it's not like we haven't talked about it," I feel like I have to defend Harry. "It just hasn't been the right time."

"After three years, any time is the right time." Someone else says. I try to brush off but the comments stay with me. Was there something wrong with us, with me, that Harry wasn't proposing?

Halfway through the reception, I catch Harry talking to the groom and I wait around but he doesn't notice so I interrupt them. They both look guilty.

"Hey, congrats, welcome to the family!" I hug the groom but eye them both. "Why do you two seem suspicious?"

"We do?" Harry asks. "You need to let loose, let's dance."

I keep an eye on him but he acts normal, pulling me onto the sparse dancefloor. He tries to make me laugh with his dancing and eventually I give in.

"What's wrong?" He asks later, as the songs slow down. I rest my head on his shoulder, so he doesn't see my face. He always knew when I was lying.

"Nothing," I lie.

"Something's been bothering you since we drove here yesterday. What is it?" Harry asks again.

I sigh. "It's nothing! Just leave it."

Harry doesn't say anything, he just holds me closer. I feel selfish and ungrateful. I had a man who loved me holding me close but I wanted more. Just because everyone couldn't stop commenting on our love life.

Harry tries to cheer me up and I try my best but my mood from the morning shines through only so much. Harry doesn't push it though, even when I crawl into bed while he showers and pretend to fall asleep when he gets out. He just leaves me with a kiss on my cheek and falls asleep beside me.

***

"Morning," Harry says as I wake up groggy and tired from all the dancing in heels I did last night. Harry is up, and ready.

"When did you get up?" I sit up.

"Not too long ago."

"You're dressed," I point out.

"And starving! Get dressed we can get breakfast. We have to be out of here by noon."

I move like a snail, trying to work up the energy for the day. It's sad to say goodbye to everyone, it was rare for everyone to be in the same place at the same time and I was going to miss it. We get back on the road by 11. The breeze whips my hair around but I close my eyes and embrace the beautiful weather.

"Having fun?" Harry asks but I can barely hear him in the roar of the wind.

"Country air really is superior," I sit back inside. I notice we were still on back roads. "Are you sure we're going in the right direction?"

"Yes, I've got the maps pulled up."

"I think we're lost," I lean towards the phone but it shows we're on the mapped path. "Harry pull over we should look at this again."

"Y/N, we're not lost."

"Because you know this area so well? We're supposed to be on main roads by now!"

"We'll get there," Harry says calmly and it frustrates me how calm he was. I just knew we weren't heading right.

"Just pull over, at least we can know for sure."

"Just trust me, we're not lost."

"Oh my god," I look around us. "You're being really bloody stubborn Harry! I know this town and we're not driving through it like we should."

Harry doesn't respond. Like I was an annoying fly buzzing about. I cross my arms and look out the window. "If we get lost, don't ask me for help." I say my final piece and decide to ignore him back. He had the audacity to chuckle at me. I want to take my seatbelt off and strangle him with it!

As we drive further and further in the wrong direction, a cooler breeze filters into the windows.

"I think we're by the water," I sit up, my fight forgotten.

"How do you know?" Harry asks.

"Because I'm part mermaid and I know we're going in the wrong bloody direction!"

"You're so impatient," Harry mutters just as he takes a turn and a parking space comes into view. Were we headed here the whole time?

I look at Harry who has a secret smile on his face. As soon as he parks I take off his sunglasses to read him better.

"Where are we?" I can't hide the excitement. Did he plan a surprise getaway?

"You'll see," Harry walks out and opens my door for me. He holds my hand as we make our way in his direction.

"I've never been here before, when did you plan this?" I continue asking as we walk further.

"I have to cover your eyes," he says. He pulls out his tie from the wedding and I close my eyes. When I open them, it's completely dark except for a small sliver of light on the top. I listen out for Harry's distinct voice.

"Just keep walking," he instructs. "Hold my hand, you'll probably fall if you don't."

"I probably will," I laugh. "You should've told me about this, I would've packed a picnic."

"Then it wouldn't be a surprise," Harry squeezes my hand. "Okay stand here and don't take it off until I say so." His sentence fades out as he moves behind me. My heart was racing on our walk here but now it's beating out of my chest, this was why I sort of hated surprises. It made my palms slick and heart race like I was on a roller coaster.

I strain to hear Harry, the sea laps gently to the right and I can't stop my foot from tapping away in anticipation.

"Take it off," Harry says. I push it off and my breath catches.

A picnic is laid out with two baskets and a bottle on ice. But it's the chalkboard propped up in the sand that catches me by surprise. I read it, twice: marry me?

I gasp and turn around, Harry kneels on one knee and in his hands is a small velvet box, a gorgeous diamond nestled in the cloth.

"Y/N, I don't know why it took me so long to finally ask you. But will you make me the luckiest man alive and marry me?"

My voice gets stuck in my thoat as my eyes water. I just nod, that's all I could do. I drop down in front of him and pull him in, the burst of tears following suite. As he wraps his arms around me. I finally find my voice, "Yes! Of course a million yesses! I though you...I never thought you'd ask. When did you plan all this?!"

I can feel Harry's laugh. He pulls me apart, I didn't even care I probably had snot and tears on my face because the man I love takes my hand and slips the ring on my finger. I was his to-be forever. He wanted to marry me! And all my fretting over the weekend was for no reason!

"I've been planning this for weeks. I found this place and your family helped set it up this morning that's why I was up so early." He points to the distance and two people stand there waving with their cameras.

"Oh my god Harry, this is the happiest day of my life," I kiss him with everything in me. He made me so happy. I can't believe I doubted us.

"Mine too," he slowly leans me back onto the picnic blanket but I remember my family and push him off. He laughs at my embarassment. "I'll tell them to leave. Then we can have our fun?"

"Hurry back," I watch him run in their direction. They end up walking back worh him. to drop off his camera and to say congrats. As soon as they disappear into the horizon I climb onto Harry's lap and just hold his face. "You make me the happiest girl in the world. The entire universe. I love you so so so much." I kiss him with ever "so".

"Just me and you against the world forever," Harry whispers.

"Sounds perfect." I whisper back.

Harry's eyes are shining. We could hardly contain our feelings for each other, how happy we were. I lean back and form my hands into a rectangle frame. I pretend to capture it which makes Harry laugh and pull me back to him, "Just come here so I can kiss my fiancée."

My heart soars just hearing the word.

[theobxhummingbird]

A helpless moment when you found me. -Luke Patterson x Reader.

Summary: It all starts with a few cups of orange juice, and ends with 1 liter of tears. Luke Patterson needs to find a way of winning her back into his life.

A/N: @beautifulblogsblog enjoy this little emotional Luke x Reader imagine, my very very emotional self put together. Thank you for suggesting this story. 🤗🤗

(GIF CREDIT TO OWNER)

It all started, when Sunset Curve started to get known by bigger audience. All the teenage girls were crazy over the four, cute boys; they even got called on TV to promote their album; sold t-shirts and played a few shows out of town. All in all, the bandmates succeeded in making it to the side of the buses, or on the lock screens of many phones.

Luke’s dream was to have his music, listened by many people around the world; and it worked, which had him talk about it for days. And it was all going well with him, until everything about his music career started to blind him. Bobby, Reggie and Alex were doing great, not too much dedicated into the music, well, not as much as Luke. It touched him so much, the need of his music being heard, as well as his name, that he even freshly made up from a fight with his mum. Emily and Mitch were understanding parents. At the beginning, they didn’t accept the idea of his 17-year-old son, playing in a rock band, but when they all sat down to talk about it, the wild waters calmed, and they were able to speak the same language.

 Luke, wasn’t only lucky to have two amazingly supportive and understanding people in his life, but one more, who always had the time to sit down and listen to what he had to let out of his heart. She, who was his first text in the morning, and last text at night; she, who was his few missed calls; she, who was the whole sunshine he could need in his life. She, who loved him with her entire heart; more than herself. He was thankful. He was so thankful, until she became the person that would wait for him to text first or call first, rather than bothering him. She became the place he’d come to, if he needed a person to tell all his matters to. But what she became, that caused her the entire pain in the world, was becoming the one who always waited for him at the table they reserved for their date.

And, together with his promise of never letting her hanging again, Y/N hopefully waited at the table. Her sixth ordered cup of orange juice, had the orange line at the bottom of the cup, letting the waiter know, she had finished another one. Other than a big vase of flowers, and empty eating supplies; that once used to be filled with delicious food, now there was nobody else at the table. She checked the time, and he was now four hours late.

The amount of respect and love Y/N had for Luke, kept her sat on that chair for four hours. And she wouldn’t have even moved, if it wasn’t for the waiter who let her know that there’s a couple that reserved the table after them. She managed to pay him for the drinks, and her trembling body made it out of the now, least favorite restaurant on her list of date places she and Luke went to; well if he came, they would’ve had a great time and she wouldn’t have to put it at the least favorites, just like the one he left her the last time.

With the second time of leaving her hanging, Y/N thought he’d learned from the mistake he made and they wouldn’t need to argue with each other. This---this was another disrespect for her, and God knew where he was. No text, nor calls appeared from him, and it made her more worried, than mad that night.

And like for every person, there’s times where unluckiness catches us in a trap. Suddenly, all that happens that day or night, is bad. It not only ruins our day/night, but it ruins our life and us in whole. It started to pour. Immediately, it soaked Y/N to her bones, and the only escape she had, was to run in those puddles that formed in the cracks of the pavement, and hide under and awning of a bar that was not too far from where she was. Y/N pulled the sides of her jacket towards each other, trying to warm herself, by blowing and rubbing her hands together. The bar seemed to still be opened, but she couldn’t really be sure because it was hard to see from the foggy window. She wiped away the fogginess with her elbow, revealing a surprising picture; one, she couldn’t really believe. Luke, Reggie, Alex and Bobby, all gathered around a girl. Her hair strands, were stuck to her face, and her face was traced with water lines, but not from the rain; she was now, fully in tears. As if four hundred knives were stabbed in her back, Y/N turned her back, and stepped out in the rain---after what she saw, there was nothing that could hurt her more.

She was a slave to the heartache, and it controlled her in every way. Y/N’s broken figure, entered the empty hallway of her home, but luckily her parents were asleep to even see her in that state. And it was for their and her best, even Luke’s, because they were very protective over their daughter. She didn’t even change into pajamas, neither did she dry her hair. The covers were pulled over her body, and she was fast asleep, getting the warmth, of her cold body and warm breathing.

Like others say though, the mother instinct is never wrong. She was fast awake when she heard the doors open. Tip toeing away from her sleeping husband, so he doesn’t argue about leaving their so in love daughter, to live her teenage love years, she slowly opened the door of Y/N’s room. She quietly gasped at the state she was in, and sat on her bed, feeling the soaked clothes she was sleeping in. And it wasn’t only from the rain, but now from the sweating that soaked her pillow. Y/N was shaking, and her cheeks were burning red.

-Wake up, wake up! -she shook her husband. He jumped out of bed, and followed her to their daughters room.

-Y/N. Y/N. Y/N. 

No answer. The next thing, her dad picked her up and rushed to the car in his pajamas, her mother following him. The car drove away from their house, and her dad was driving fast to the hospital. He carried her in his hands, until the medical staff took care of her. She was frozen and her lips were bruised. They put a breathing mask immediately, and her heart rate was very low.

It was a nightmare of a night for the Y/L/N family, and it scared Y/N’s parents, that her mother had to also be taken care of. Her dad got himself a cup of tea from the canteen and sat outside the hospital room, waiting for his wife and daughter to get better. And he waited, until the doctor called him to his office.

-Y/N hadn’t eaten properly for days, and stress reacted even more. Also, she got soaked, which completed the state she is in now. Your daughter needs to eat, Mr. Y/L/N and stay away from stress as much as possible. It’s not a joke, it’s a life we’re talking about; a life of a young person. Here’s the pills she needs to drink for her curing. She’ll be held in the hospital for two days, then we’ll release her home. 

Her dad bought the pills, as soon as he left the office. And the man wasn’t stupid, to not understand that the stress, might involve Luke as well. He didn’t call him though. If the boyfriend of her daughter, was wise enough to check up on his girlfriend, he would’ve called himself. So, he was back to waiting.

Luke on the other hand, was at home. Sweaty from the big performance he had to do that night. And, we would all blame him for leaving Y/N alone, but the reason behind him leaving her hanging, is heartwarming from one side for another person, but painful and risky for Y/N. He changed into clean, and dry clothes, and sat on his bed, to see what Y/N’s up to, and explain what happened, that he couldn’t even text, nor call her. No answer. He called her dad, her mum, but none of them answered. So, he went to bed thinking they’re all sleeping, though, something kept aching his heart, that he couldn’t close his eyes as soon as he placed his head on the pillow. He kept tossing and turning, but it didn’t work, until finally, he found the best position, and fell into a deep sleep.

Y/N’s mother woke up before her the next morning, and stayed listening to her daughter, repeating Luke’s name in her sleep. Though, she also didn’t want to call him, thinking the same way as her husband. Y/N didn’t still open her eyes, and as much as the doctors and nurses wanted to, and even tried waking her, she wasn’t waking up. Her mother now went to treat herself a cup of tea, after the night she had.

-Mrs. Y/L/N? -said a voice from behind her. She turned around with a confused expression, but it dropped when she saw Reggie; Luke’s bandmate, who she met once at a show the Y/L/N family went to, to support Luke.

-Hello Reggie. How are you?

-I’m great Mrs. Y/L/N, actually how are you, is there something wrong?

-Yes Reggie, there is. Y/N is going to be held here for two days. Yesterday she came home soaked, and got sick so we had to rush her to the hospital, because she couldn’t wake up.

-Ca-can I see her please? -his eyes were filled with tears and worry.

-Sure. Come with me. -she placed a hand on his shoulder and walked him to the hospital room. Unnoticeably, he sent and SMS to Luke, quickly sending away what happened to Y/N, hoping his friend will come to take care of his girl.

-Oh no, Y/N. -he said, taking a hold of her frozen hand.

After getting out of the shower, Luke finally looked at his messages, and it took him a second to slip his shoes on, and basically run to the hospital with his wet hair.

-Y/N Y/L/N! -he breathlessly said to the person at the register.

-Room 200. -she said, and he tapped the elevator button, but couldn’t wait for it, so he took the stairs. When he got to the hallway, where her parents were stood, his heart dropped at the scene. Both of them in pajamas still, with barely any sleep, because of him.

-Mrs. Y/L/N. -he said in tears. 

-Go Luke, go next to her. We’ll talk about it later. -she rubbed his back, and he wiped away his tears, and entered the room, where Reggie was waiting, who jumped up and left, so he could be next to Y/N.

-Oh, my beautiful girl. I’m so sorry, it’s my fault.-he brushed away some hair from her face, and trailed his hand down her cheek. He took a hold of both of her hands, kissing them many times, and grabbing the sheets of the bed, so he could quietly cry in them. A warm line was traced under his eyes, and it disappeared at the corner of his eye.

-Don’t cry. -her raspy voice, made it to his ears, as his head shot up.

-Oh Y/N, I’m so sorry-

-Don’t be Luke.-she turned her head to the window, where her parents were stood. She blinked as an approval of them entering the room. 

-Baby. -said her mother, and went to kiss her temple, followed by her dad. -How are you feeling?

-I’m feeling better. Can we go home now? -she lifted herself to sit up, but her mother pressed her down back on the bed.

-The doctor said two days. Tomorrow you’ll be home anyways.

-Fine then. Let’s follow what the doctor said, I guess. -she sent a sad smile towards her parents. They saw what the situation was, and left them alone, even though Y/N’s look begged them not to leave her alone with Luke.

-Can I explain myself? -he asked softly.

-Of course. -she positioned herself, so her back could rest against the pillow.

-We had to do this last minute show, Y/N. It was for a kid’s operation money for aboard, and they needed to be sent that night. They asked us, and we couldn’t say no to that poor family. For else, you know I wouldn’t repeat my mistakes.

-I’m glad the kid’s got operation money. Hope he’ll, heal as soon as possible.

-I’m so sorry, baby. -he said, wiping his tears away and rubbing his wet hands off his jeans, -I’ll leave you now, because it’s obvious you don’t want me here. I’ll come later again, love you so much princess.

She opened her mouth to talk, but Luke was out the door, and he stopped to look at her from the window, but she pretended as if she’s looking out the other window in the room.

-If you loved me, you could’ve at least stayed. I don’t want you to go. -she whispered through her tears. It was the most painful feeling of her life, listening to him say that she doesn’t want him. She wanted him. And it hurt her more and more, knowing he’d done something beautiful for another kid. But he sacrificed her life, and happiness. The part with the girl at the bar, stayed as a question mark in Y/N’s head.

Y/N’s dad had a talk with Luke, and when he explained everything that happened, he couldn’t only be on his side, rather as a father, he took Y/N’s side first, then giving the right to Luke. 

-The choices you make in a relationship, you make for you and your loved one. A relationship is led by two people, and whatever they decided, it should never affect only one person. I know how much you love my daughter, it’s all written in your eyes kid. But I love her more than any other guy could ever love her. She’s a part of my soul, and even if one fiber gets damaged of her, I’ll ruin this world. Make up with her, please, I don’t want to see you grieving for each other. You’re a great couple, and it’s really sad to see her alone in that room over there.

It stayed with him the whole day, those words by Y/N’s father. He sat on his bed, and the only thing that couldn’t make him so helpless was writing. He took his music notebook, and started writing what he felt towards the girl, who was now being begged to eat. It worked after a few tries, but she was able to put some proper food into her system. Alex, Reggie and even Bobby came to visit her. Though, there was a girl waiting at the door; the same girl from the bar.

-Who’s that over there? Why is she standing alone? 

-It’s my girlfriend, Rose. -said Bobby.

-Ah huh. -she said, a sigh of relief was supposed to follow, but instead her heart relaxed, knowing Bobby probably wanted the boys to meet her while they’re there. 

After they left, not too long after, Luke came as promised. This time, he really came, together with his guitar, and bags of fruit he bought.

-You parents said you can’t have any tough food, so I thought your favorite fruits are a great idea. -he left them on the table, and sat down next to Y/N’s bed.

-You came. -Y/N said, holding back a big smile. He looked really handsome, even though he didn’t even try to. It was what had her attracted to him the most at the moment.

-I came to sing you to sleep. -he said, and positioned his guitar. Y/N slipped down to her laying position, and patiently waited for him to start singing. When he did, she realized that the words are completely new, and unknown to her, which meant he wrote them freshly. And he did. He wrote her a song, about how he’s sorry and if he’d take back the time, he’d fix everything, but still remain the Luke she loves.

After he finished, Y/N applauded and rested her hand on a writing, carved onto his guitar.

-Why ‘Y/I’ (Y/I= your initials)? -she traced it with her fingers.

-For Y/N Y/L/N. My Y/N Y/L/N.-he smiled.

Y/N sat up and rested her back against her pillow, as few tears fell down her face, quickly wiping them away so Luke doesn’t notice. He still thought she was mad at him, with the right to be, so he nodded his head and sat up to leave the room, just like he did earlier, although this time, it wasn’t clear if he would come back again. Y/N swiftly lingered her fingers onto his, and it gave her life; his touch.

-I-I need you...Let’s make up. -she said and swallowed her tears. Luke slowly spun around and sat on the bed. She cupped his face and wiped away his tears, as he did the same, resting their foreheads on top of each other.

-I’m sorry Y/N. I’m sorry for doing the same mistake again. Please forgive me and give me the chance to make up to you. I love you so much,

-It’s fine Luke. It all was gone with another day. Let’s focus on the ones that are coming. I love you too, so much. And the song was beautiful, I can’t even explain to you.

-Yeah? Well, since we made up and sang a song, you must now eat at least one orange, okay?

-Okay fine. -she said lazily, and Luke managed to peel one for her. She made a sour face when she tasted it, and Luke placed a kiss to her lips, getting a taste of its bitterness and making a face as well, which made her laugh. For the first time since the day before, she managed to remember what laughing feel like. As well as crying, and going through pain, all because of the one boy, she loved with her entire life. Mutually getting the same love, from him; her Luke Patterson.