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angelwings-crossbowstrings · 8 months ago

Text

But Put Together, the Cracks We’ll Close In

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Setting: Early Alexandria

Warnings: Typical TWD violence and gore; mentions of past child abuse; mentions of suggested abortion; blood and injury

Summary: Fresh into Alexandria, Daryl meets his match in a two year little girl and slowly loses his heart to her mother. You.

A/N: Based on the request/headcanon from @louifaith Just a couple of things. The child is described as in hair and eye color. Nothing is mentioned of reader so these traits could come from her father. There is also the mention of an “Eskimo kiss.” I grew up hearing and using that term but I’m not sure if it is offensive or PC nowadays. please feel free to send me a message if I need to change it. It is not my intention to be offensive to anyone! Also, sorry if anyone likes Spencer. He's always my go to asshole. I received my answer on the above questioned term. I will definitely not be using it again! It has been edited out. *gif is not mine

“S’that?”

Daryl felt the opossum sway in his grip, looking down with a scowl firmly plastered at the bright eyes returning his gaze, brimming with curiosity. She was a toddler, maybe two years old? Christ, someone had a toddler in this mess. “Dinner.” He grunted, pulling the dead animal out of her reach. He found out quickly that the curious little creature would not be deterred so easily. Standing on her tip-toes, she made a grab for the marsupial. “Knock it off.” He huffed and took a step back, bumping into Carol.

“Daryl, she’s a child. Don’t be such a grump.”

“Ain’t you got a mama—family to get back to?” He snapped, ignoring his best friend. The little girl’s eyes brightened.

“Mama! Mama!” She clapped. Daryl rolled his eyes at her enthusiasm.

“Yeah, go get ‘er.” There was an intense sigh of relief when the little human went running (waddling?) out of sight. “They got kids here.”

“Yes, Daryl. That’s what that was.” Carol nudged him playfully. “The people seem to think they’re safe here. It gives me the creeps.” He nodded but didn’t comment. “They obviously don’t know what’s going on out there, not like we do. I think we need to be cautious here. Find a way to fit in but keep our guard up, you know?”

Daryl snorted. “Yeah, good luck with that. Ain’t got no intention of tryin’ to fit in with these folks. Livin’ in a fuckin’ fairytale here. Ain’t gonna last.”

“You’re such a ray of sunshine.” Sasha clapped him on the shoulder as she passed, earning yet another grunt.

“Mama, here!”

Oh dear god, no. “S’back.” The hunter stated flatly.

“Oh, and she brought a friend.” Sure enough, the little girl was dragging you along, tugging incessantly at your hand as if the child had found the world’s most priceless treasure. “You did tell her to ‘go get her.’”

“Nadia, slow down!”

And slow down, she did. Right in front of a scowl-wearing redneck with a bleeding opossum in his grasp.

“Mama, dinner! Dorl dinner.”

Dorl?!? Daryl looked helplessly over to where Carl was carrying Judith, the little light of his life. Would this be what she was like as she grew up? She already knew him, loved him despite how broken and hopeless he was. She would laugh at him if he was ranting about something and hold out those chubby little hands and he was done for, whatever had irritated him was forgotten.

But this child? This wasn’t his lil’ asskicker.

Daryl liked kids but he liked them from a distance. He had no business being around them, save for Carl and Judith. I wish I could have known Sophia. He wouldn’t bother getting to know anyone in this place. It’d burn like every other home they had anyway.

“Dorl, huh?” You smiled.

“Daryl.” He replied flatly, his lip curling.

“I’m Y/N. I assume Aaron found your group?”

He didn’t answer, too occupied with trying to continuously move away from the small child clumsily reaching for his knife sheath. “Stop that.” He barked, expecting the kid to balk. She did quite the opposite and wrapped her tiny arms around his leg, just below his knee. What the fuck was he supposed to do now? Shake her off? Of course not. She might get hurt. While he really didn’t want to be touched, he couldn’t help but feel like it was somehow his job to make sure this kid wasn’t hurt. “Can ya—would ya—?” Shoulders slumped, he didn’t even gesture. You know what he was asking.

Chuckling, you reached down and gently pried the little girl loose. “Nadia, you’re supposed to ask before hugs, remember?”

“Hug Dorl.” The dark-headed child pouted.

That was his cue to step away, as quickly as possible, without running. He absolutely did not run.

When you looked up, he was already gone, lost in the middle of his group as they headed in to surrender weapons and be interviewed by Deanna.

Daryl sat on the now red-stained porch, prepping his kill for cooking later. Carol had scolded him and made him promise to use the backyard going forward, but he doubted they would be there long enough for him to need the area. It was just the way the world was. Nice places like this could never last.

“Dorl dinner!”

Jesus take the wheel. “Ya need a bell.” He grunted, looking around for you. “An’ apparently a leash.” Maybe if he ignored her, she would go find you. But what if she wandered off alone and somehow made it out of the gates? Shit. “Sit down, gremlin.”

She giggled and patted her chunky hands against her chest. “Nada.”

Daryl stopped moving and stared for a moment. Wasn’t that Spanish? Maybe? Wait. You had called her Nadia. Maybe that’s what she was trying to say. “Nadia?” Blue eyes squinted in wait.

Nadia bounced and nodded and then pointed at him. “Dorl! Dorl, Nada!”

He released his knife and leaned his elbow against his knee, the heel of his hand pressing into his forehead. “Dare-ul.” He tried.

“Dooorl.”

“Oh, for fucksake.” The archer gave up, picking up his knife and continuing with his task. Nadia didn’t even seem to notice what he was doing but leaned in closely with the most serious look he’d ever seen. He needed to lean back once she made it much too far into his personal space.

“Fucksy.” She said, maintaining eye contact as if she were challenging him.

“No! Don’t say that. Can’t be teachin’ ya sh—stuff like that!” He panicked, opossum forgotten. Daryl threw back his head with a groan. “Can’tcha please just go to your mama?”

Nadia’s little face lit up and off she went with a chorus of mama mama mama. Watching her go, Daryl wondered where the little one’s father was, but soon banished the thought. It was none of his business. What was his business was to make sure the annoying curtain-climber made it home safely. Abandoning his dinner—no time to cover it if he was going to catch up—he walked briskly until he caught sight of her. Little legs can fuckin’ move. We’re fucked when Jude learns to walk.

He stayed close, but far back enough to not catch her attention. She seemed to know exactly where she was going. Rounding the curb to the end of the street, he caught sight of the small house. Quaint compared to the other homes. The front door was open but he dared not go closer. Boots firmly planted on the sidewalk, he observed the struggle of a tiny human tackling front porch steps. Nadia was determined though. Had he chosen to help, he was certain she would give him that serious look again and yell at him in baby-speak.

“Nadia Avery, how do you keep getting out the door!”

Maybe cause you leave it open? He suppressed the urge to roll his eyes.

Regardless, there you were, swooping down to gather the bundle into your arms with a couple of sobs and more than a few sniffles. “Baby, you have to stop doing that! You scare mommy.” Nadia was nuzzling your jaw but then suddenly pointed right at him.

“Dorl got Nada.”

When your eyes found his own, Daryl froze. His arms were out to his sides, his eyes wide. He looked nothing short of a deer caught in the sights of his crossbow when it realized it’s about to be shot. “I—uh, kid found me.” Forcing himself to relax a fraction, he rubbed at the back of his neck. “Didn’t want ‘er wand’rin’ ‘round by herself.”

Your face softened into a grateful smile. “Thank you for making sure she got home.” He nodded curtly and you turned away, only to turn back in the same motion. “Would you like to come inside? I have some stew that I’m heating. Plenty for the three of us.”

A part of him that he didn’t know existed wanted to immediately accept the offer but the part of him that had kept him alive this long spoke louder. “Nah, got my own dinner I need to take care’a. Thanks, though.”

You nodded, the smile never faltering. “Think of it as a standing invitation. Nadia seems to like you. She’s a good judge of character.”

He snorted. “Alright.”

“Goodnight, Daryl.”

“Night.” He took two steps.

“Nigh’ nigh’, Dorl!”

He heard the sound of a kiss being blown his way, but didn’t turn around. Maybe if he ignored her, she’d go away.

It had been three days since he had last seen you or Nadia. He found that it unsettled him but not enough to go looking. Aaron had gifted him a work area and parts to build himself a bike. It was the best thing anyone could have offered him at that point. He felt like he still wasn’t fitting in, and while that was the idea at first, now it just felt…lonely.

Carol was always gone when he got up and not home yet when we retired to bed. Rick and Michonne couldn’t stay out of the bedroom for more than five minutes unless something ‘coppy’ needed to be handled. Carl was always outside with Jude in the nice weather.

Daryl was alone. Though he usually preferred it that way, he couldn’t seem to shake the negativity it seemed to bring to the surface.

Spending time around something familiar from the old world came to be a comfort. When the posh little community with its “good morning” while walking the dog and laughter over coffee at the gazebo became too much for Daryl, he disappeared into Aaron’s garage. Aaron and his husband seemed okay in the archer’s book. They never once stared at him like he was going to rob them blind or beat them to a pulp. They showed him kindness even if his only attempts at conversation consisted of nods and grunts.

“You going to this party tonight?” Aaron asked from the doorway the led into the house from the garage.

“Nah.” Daryl picked up a wrench and continued his work, not giving the question a proper thought.

“You really should make an effort to get to know more people here.”

“They don’t like me. Shouldn’t, really.” The archer shrugged.

“They just don’t know you. Maybe you should give them a chance.” Aaron kept his persuasion in the doorway. He had gifted Daryl that space and was unwilling to step into it without an invitation he was unlikely to receive without asking.

“Better they don’t know me.”

There was a sigh that made Daryl curl his lip. “Just think about it, okay?” The shuffle of feet and the door opening signaled the other man’s exit.

Why should Daryl go? He had little interest in fitting in, even when his own group was making such an effort. Carol and Rick were wary and had whatever it was they had but Carol would tell him if she felt it necessary. Daryl was just plain wary, utterly uninterested. Most of them would likely be dead soon and he didn’t need anyone else to mourn.

So why he found himself showered and in a fresh set of clothing that was his own form of presentable was absolutely beyond him. It had nothing to do with the fact that on his walk home, he thought maybe you’d be at the party. Nope, nothing like that.

He had made it at least to the yard outside, watching the festivities through the window. Everyone he knew seemed so at ease in there. Dressed up, laughing and drinking. Mingling like they belonged there. He didn’t belong there.

“Nah.” He said softly before turning away. He was passing by Aaron’s house when a call of his name from that familiar voice had him stopping with a sigh. “Yeah?”

“You went. Good for you. Did you have a good time?” Aaron asked from the porch. Daryl shrugged. The man’s eyes narrowed and suddenly the archer was nervous, feeling judged. “You didn’t go in, did you?”

Daryl shook his head. “Just ain’t my thing.”

“Hey, you tried.”

“Why didn’t you go?” That wasn’t supposed to sound so accusatory but Daryl was tired and had simply had his fill of the day and that place.

“Eric’s ankle is still giving him trouble. We just thought it best to skip out on this one.”

This one? Christ. That insinuated there would be more. With an inward groan, he answered outwardly with a grunt.

“We’ve got dinner ready. More than can feed us. Can we tempt you?” The offer was sincere and Daryl was hungry, but his battery was running on fumes. He glanced toward his own home and then back at Aaron. “Eric makes a mean spaghetti, man. Come on, you’re already out.”

Daryl sighed. “Fine.” He was grateful for the invitation, he just sucked at showing it, as with almost every other emotion. Aaron held open the door and with a nod, the archer entered, still ill at ease being inside someone else’s home when his own still felt less than comfortable.

“Dorl.”

Before he could prepare himself, Nadia was latching onto his lower legs. Arms out awkwardly, he glared at Aaron. “Didn’t say she was here.”

The man just shrugged a shoulder. “Didn’t say she wasn’t either.”

“Hi, Daryl!” You came around the corner from the dining room, no doubt to gather your spawn but he couldn’t seem to form a thought around the smile you were giving him.

“Mama! Dorl!”

“I can see that, baby. You think you can let go so that he can walk?” Nadia shook her head with a vicious pout.

“Dorl up?”

“What?” He looked down at the toddler and back up at you, silently hoping you’d act as translator for the little gremlin.

“She wants you to pick her up. You don’t—”

For reasons unbeknownst to even him, he bent down and placed his hands beneath Nadia’s arms, lifting her onto his hip. It felt no different than holding Judith. Nadia was heavier of course.

“Dorl!” Chubby arms wrapped around his neck, her little cheek rubbing against his stubbled one. “Tickle.” She giggled like it was the funniest thing in the world and repeated the action.

You were still smiling but much more softly. “She really likes you.” Daryl grunted. “You don’t say much, do you?”

“Ain’t gotta lot to say.” He shrugged the shoulder Nadia’s chin was resting on, sending her into another fit of giggles. She pulled back suddenly, very in his space and then pressed her face against his cheek. He flinched but otherwise didn’t move. There was the smallest flutter that tickled his skin before she reared back again, smiling proudly. “What—”

“Butterfly kisses.” You informed, arms crossed but your smile hidden behind your hand.

“What the fu—heck’s that?”

“Oh come on, you never gave your mom butterfly kisses?” You chuckled.

Daryl felt nauseous at the mention of his mother. The only thing he’d shared with her were bruises and a few after-beating hugs. But you didn’t know him. He took the anger and locked it down, but it must have spilled into his expression.

“I’m sorry.” Your smile was gone, but to his surprise (and relief), there was no pity in your eyes. Only understanding. Still, it wasn’t a subject he cared to let linger.

He turned his attention to the child, who had developed a sudden interest in the hair over his ears. “Ya ever gave a nose kiss?” He almost laughed out loud when Nadia’s eyes flew wide with wonder. She didn’t confirm or deny but the fact that she hadn’t moved was answer enough. “S’simple.” Daryl brought a hand up to the back of her head and gently urged her forward, rubbing the tip of his nose over hers. “There. Nose kiss.”

She kept those wide eyes as her little mouth began to spread open into one of the biggest smiles he’d ever seen on a kid, granted he hadn’t spent much time around any.

“Again!” She squealed, grabbing his cheeks and pulling him forward. He expected to have a bloody nose from the force with which she came at him, but her movements became deliberate and gentle, as if getting it right was the most important thing in the world.

Nadia was incredibly pleased with herself, her little hands patting against Daryl’s chest before she wiggled out her request for freedom and sprinted toward the dining room with this newfound information to share with Eric and Aaron.

“Careful.” You said, though there was no hint of anything unkind in your tone. When he looked away from the other room, he found your expression to be one he couldn’t seem to identify. It was soft yet guarded. He didn’t move away when you reached a single hand out to adjust his vest. “You’re smiling.” And you walked away, leaving him there to realize that he was indeed wearing a small, lopsided grin.

He shook it off with a groan, absolutely regretting his decision to come in for dinner.

“Dorl!” Came the loud shout from the table. “Dorl, sketti!”

This was not going to end well.

It had been two weeks since the spaghetti dinner, which in fact had ended rather pleasantly. Aside from your giggles when he realized he was eating his meal with the same gusto and manners as the toddler next to him, Aaron had offered him a job that let him go outside the walls. He’d accepted almost immediately.

Little Nadia had been determined to take him home with them, so he walked you there with her tiny hand in his. Halfway, she had begun to tire and fuss, instinct had kicked in and he scooped her up in the same manner he would Judith. The child was asleep on his shoulder almost instantly.

He had zero intention of entering your home and was thankful the kid was out cold so that she couldn’t initiate the suggestion. He had passed her off to you and started to leave.

“Daryl.” You had called quietly. He still wasn’t sure why he had turned back to you so quickly. “That invitation is still open.” You smiled, he grunted. “Thanks for being so sweet with her. Goodnight.”

There had been a heavy feeling in his chest but he had nodded. “G’night.”

Now, you and little Nadia were almost a constant presence when he wasn’t beyond the wall. A presence that he found no longer really irritated him.

He would sit on the porch with the kid, working on his crossbow while Nadia colored or played with toys. He had to find her some of her own to have there because it seemed she and Judith were at odds about Daryl’s attention. He had made the mistake of lifting lil’ asskicker out of her playpen while Nadia was on his heels and the latter had begun to wail.

He had quickly passed Jude off to an equally concerned Michonne and scooped up the kid. “S’wrong? Hey.” Little arms wrapped around his neck and, though he didn’t see the angry pout directed at the other baby, Michonne did. He turned at her chuckle, eyes wide and confused.

Before she could explain, those little arms squeezed harder. “My Dorl.”

From that moment on, he saved time with Judith for emergencies (there were none) and for after Nadia had gone home with you.

“Don’t touch that, Dia.” Daryl huffed, catching her little hand reaching for the knife he had on the porch table. He had spent the morning skinning a few squirrels for Carol to use in a stew but was at that point, working on the tension on his bow.

And babysitting.

You had some inventory to do at the infirmary with Pete. The doctor gave him bad vibes so when you had asked, he’d accepted all too quickly. Even offered to tag along and keep an eye on the kid there. In the end, after you had politely declined, he had reasoned that you were a grown woman and could handle yourself.

“Babysitting, again, hmm?”

Daryl glanced up from his crossbow toward Carol on the top step, Nadia already beaming up at her from the hug around her waist. It lasted all of three seconds before the kid was back to her toys beside Daryl’s boot.

“Mhm.” Was the only answer he offered, one that was mimicked from the little person below him. He didn’t smile but Carol didn’t miss the way his eyes left the weapon to regard Nadia for a moment before returning to the task.

“Where’s Y/N?” She asked, plopping down onto the other chair. She grabbed a toy that had rolled away and handed it back to the child.

“Some inventory shit at the infirmary.” Daryl shrugged, rotating the bow to check his work. Carol made a noise that gave him pause, one he didn’t like. “What?”

“No one’s at the infirmary. I was just there for Mr. Henderson’s blood pressure medication.”

He could feel his heartrate picking up, a sense of foreboding so strong that he could barely think straight. “Pete weren’t there?”

Carol shook her head. “No one.” She sat up straight when Daryl stood, sheathing his knife and placing his crossbow on the railing. “Daryl?”

“Dia, I’m gonna be right back. You’re gonna stay with Carol for a few minutes. Tell me the rules.”

Nadia’s wide eyes narrowed into seriousness. “No bow. No move. Be good. No shit.” It took her a moment to babble through the small list but Daryl ruffled her hair with the smallest of half smiles.

“No shit, Daryl?”

He was already stepping off the porch. “Her mama hears ‘er sayin’ that an’ m’a dead man.”

Carol laughed and shook her head, turning her attention to the little human that was already working up to a cry as Daryl walked out of sight. “Do you like cookies, Nadia?”

He checked the infirmary first. He didn’t doubt Carol, but maybe she had missed a room or something. It was, as Carol had said, empty. “Fuck.” The next most logical place would be your home. He ran the entire way. He’d feel like an absolute fool if you were fine, but he’d cross that bridge later. The door was open, he could see that from the moment he rounded the curb. You had a habit of doing that and he hated it, but who was he to tell you what to do?

“Y/N?” He took your steps two at a time and stopped on the threshold. “Y/N? Are ya here?” No answer. He felt like shit the moment his boot touched the floor inside. He’d never taken you up on an invitation for the dinner you continuously offered him, much less any offer to simply come inside. Now here he was tearing room to room, in your safe space. There were covered pots on the stove and the oven was on, but where were you? “Y/N!” He placed a booted foot on the bottom stair before your voice stunned him frozen.

“Daryl?”

He nearly collapsed in relief.

“What’s wrong? Where’s Nadia? Daryl?”

“She’s fine. She’s with Carol.” He rasped, sheathing his knife when he saw you staring at it. Your hair was wet, your clothes damp. You must have been in the shower. “M’sorry. Carol said ya weren’t at the—just got worried. M’sorry.” His eyes had lowered to the stairs below you but then your bare feet were padding down them to stop directly in front of him. “I’ll, uh—lemme go get ‘er.” He had barely moved before your hand was on his shoulder. To his shock, he didn’t flinch; didn’t even have the urge.

“Are you okay?” You asked, ducking your head to seek out his gaze. He continued to expertly dodge.

“M’fine. Just—I’ll go get Dia.” He stepped away and out of the loose grip you had on him, immediately missing the warmth of your hand. What the hell was wrong with him?

“I was making us dinner.” The words rushed out of you, like you were trying to get them out before he could leave. Daryl looked over his shoulder from the doorway, an eyebrow arched. “Us. Me, Nadia, and—well, you.”

“Me? Why?” He hadn’t meant to sound so unkind, ungrateful, but that was just who he was down deep, wasn’t it? Still, you seemed unbothered, your nervousness born of something else entirely.

“Because Nadia likes you. I like you. We’d like to spend time with you that doesn’t involve me asking for favors or the entire community leering and making assumptions.”

He still hadn’t fully turned, but narrowed his eyes. “Think they ain’t gonna make assumptions when ya have me in your house?”

“Fair point.” You nodded, chuckling. “Honestly, I don’t give a fuck what they think but I worry that you do.” Head tilted, Daryl turned but remained in the doorway. “You seem so private, quiet. I don’t want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.” Your bottom lip disappeared between your teeth for a moment. “So, will you come? Please?”

As much as he tried, he couldn’t sense a single ounce of dishonesty or ill intent in you. It was certainly there, wasn’t it? No one outside of the group that had grown to like him over months of death and sorrow wanted anything to do with him. So, why you? Why Nadia? “Alright, I’ll go get ‘er an’ be back.” He turned and took a step before you called out again.

“Don’t worry about changing or anything. Just bring you, okay?”

He nodded around the very foreign flutter in his chest, clearing his throat and leaving the house before he could overthink things right there in front of you. He’d be able to do that in abundance on the way to grab the kid.

To say he was confused was the largest of understatements. You were a beautiful woman. Where was Nadia’s father? In that world, the absence usually meant he was either dead or had willingly left, which he couldn’t fathom either. Was the kid the reason all the single men weren’t knocking down your door? That couldn’t be it. Nadia was amazing, all bright smiles and such an innocence that was refreshing in a world as dark it was.

Even if you did have suitors, why were you taking the time to get to know him? He was damn sure nothing special and had nothing to offer you. Daryl growled at himself. He was jumping the gun. You hadn’t expressed any real interest in him. You wanted to have dinner. Aaron and Eric had him over for dinner all the time. It was what friends did. He was your friend after all. He had to be for you to trust him with Nadia. He snorted. Maybe that was all the brat’s doing and you were just along for the ride.

His shoulders were slumped, feet dragging by the time he made it back to his house, already opening his arms in expectation of the bundle of Nadia that would be leaping into them any moment. “Dorl!”

“She was about to strap on your crossbow and come find you herself.” Carol teased from the doorway.

“I was barely gone twenty minutes, kid.” He nodded to Carol and turned back to take Nadia home. “Your mama’s at home makin’ something for supper. Ya hungry?”

“Mmmmhmmmm!” Little legs were swinging while bright eyes watched the street in front of them, her arms loosely around his neck, trusting him to not let her fall. And he would never. Daryl craned his head to look at her, all dark hair and big blue eyes. She could pass as his own kid to anyone who didn’t know better.

Whoa. That train of that was roughly derailed.

Easily done when the top of her head leaned against his temple and she began to hum some tune he didn’t know. It calmed his anxiety enough to not eat him from the inside out before he made it back to your house. Nadia was wiggling to be lowered before he could even get her to the steps. Much to her annoyance (if her little growl and pout were anything to go by), he didn’t place her on her feet until they were on the porch.

The door was still open and, man, he really wanted you to stop doing that.

“Mama!” Nadia squealed, running right into your arms.

“Hi, baby! Did you have fun with Daryl today?” You hefted her onto your hip, your face turned toward hers even though your smile was aimed at the archer.

“We always have fun.” He was close enough to ruffle the kid’s hair without invading your space.

“No shit!” Nadia proclaimed with her arms in the air. You were smiling but your eyebrows shot up toward your hairline. Daryl cleared his throat.

“M’a tell Carol to watch ‘er mouth.”

“Carol. Right.” You chuckled. You started to reach for his arm but must have thought better of it and motioned toward the dining room instead. He found he was disappointed. “Go ahead and sit down wherever. There’s some wine and water already there.”

Daryl liked wine. He’d partake when at Aaron and Eric’s for dinner but here? He wasn’t sure that was such a good idea. The table could seat six but there were three places set, the middle chair holding a booster seat. He didn’t sit, wouldn’t until you did. Instead he noticed how close the glasses of wine were sitting to Nadia’s place and took the liberty of moving each of them to the other side. Not that the kid would bother them but it just felt—right?

“Alright, kiddo. You get to eat first.” You weren’t carrying Nadia anymore but she was right behind you, looking up at the bowl of pasta like a pup that was about to get its kibble. Daryl was already lifting the kid into her seat when you turned from placing the bowl on the table. “Thank you.” You did touch his arm then. “Go ahead and sit. I’ll be right back.”

Nadia had apparently chosen his spot for him, patting the back of the chair to her left. Chewing on the side of his thumb, he glanced toward the kitchen. Wasn’t he supposed to pull your chair out for you or something? Aaron had.

“No, no, Dorl.” Nadia pulled at his elbow, earning a halfhearted scowl before he realized she was trying to get him to stop the anxious habit.

“Sorry.” He mumbled, not sure why he was apologizing when she just went back to dancing and eating once he had dropped his hand. He watched her for a moment, just being a kid, innocent and oblivious to the dangers and heartache that lay in wait just outside of Alexandria’s protective walls. She and you—just two more people for him to mourn in the end. What was he doing there? He had no business being in your lives. If he didn’t lose the two of you, then you would lose him. It was inevitable. It was fate. It was the way the world worked now, tirelessly snuffing out any semblance of light that could give someone like him hope.

And goddamnit, he’d be devastated. He adored your kid and though he couldn’t quite decipher what it was that he felt for you, he knew that if anything happened to you, he’d shatter.

“Daryl?”

“What?” He snapped out of reflex, not fully out of his head before he had realized you were speaking. You flinched, the pasta in the two bowls you were holding bounced but didn’t spill. “M’sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. Are you okay?” The bowls were placed on the table and a basket of fresh bread that he hadn’t noticed you had already brought out. How long had he been standing there?

“Yeah, uh—yeah, m’fine.” He shifted his weight from foot to foot, suddenly feeling very trapped in the small room. It wasn’t really that small, was it? “M’just—” He didn’t finish before he all but ran to the door, closing it behind him like he really wished you would start doing. He had a cigarette lit within seconds, trembling fingers bringing it to his lips for a long drag.

Pale light from inside cascaded around him as the door opened. You didn’t move any closer, obviously staying near Nadia while the little girl ate. “You okay?”

“Mhm.” Lie.

“Come back inside?” You requested after glancing toward Nadia, finding her eating her pasta elegantly with her fingers. Daryl said nothing, wasn’t even sure he could, but he flicked his cigarette toward the sidewalk and stood, walking past you with but a beat of hesitance.

Despite Nadia’s excitement at his return, he remained quiet, but offered the kid a ghost of a smile when she offered a bite of her own food. Disgruntled at his refusal, she wore her own version of a scowl and continued to eat. You had taken your seat, giving the bread basket a tiny shove toward the archer.

“Thanks.” He mumbled. He wasn’t sure how to act around you anymore. Staring at his food, he questioned whether the way he usually ate might disgust you. It was never something he actively thought about. He grew up in a home where he snatched what he could get and ate it quickly before someone could take it or reprimand him for it. It was nearly the same now that the world had ended. Thankful for any scrap of food, but quick to make sure it was gone before someone came ready to fight for it.

“If you think any louder, I might be able to hear it.”

Daryl glanced up, unable to meet your eyes. You were swirling the wine around in the glass with your gaze settled on him. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s just dinner, Daryl.”

With a barely there nod, he picked up his fork and began to eat, slowly and carefully, not noticing the way you watched him with a quizzical expression.

Nadia was having a hard time keeping her head up by the time dinner was finished, her little eyes closing before snapping open with a jerk of her head.

“Time for bed.” You announced, attempting to wipe her face around languid movements of annoyance. “Come on, baby.” Lifting her from the chair, you tilted your head when she leaned her upper body back toward Daryl, reaching out with lazy, grabby hands.

“Dorl night night.”

Halfway out of his seat, he froze. “Think ya should, uh—your mama should handle this’un, Dia.” She didn’t seem to have it in her to argue, flopping onto your shoulder. You managed to hold up a finger, asking him to wait while you put Nadia to bed. He did, but busied himself gathering the dishes, taking them to the sink, and rinsing them out as Carol had trained him to do. “Wow, my very own human dishwasher. Can I keep you?”

Daryl felt the heat rise in his face, traveling down to his chest and up to the tips of his ears. “Stop.” God, you were just as bad as Carol.

“Daryl.”

Oh, boy. Your tone had gone from playful to serious in two seconds flat. His stomach was in knots but he dared not turn around and rinsed the same bowl at least three times. “Hmm?”

“I’d like to see, uh—I’d like it if you'd come around more often. Tonight was—it was nice.”

And there it was. The one thing that had caused him so much inner turmoil now confirmed. You were interested and, for the life of him, he couldn’t understand why. When he finally managed to get his tongue to work, the words that spilled out were nothing like the ones running through his head and he regretted them immediately. “Where’s Dia’s daddy?” Christ, Dixon. “M’sorry.” He tried to backpedal, finally turning toward you and leaning back against the sink with a white-knuckled grip against the edge of the countertop. “Ain’t my business.”

“Gone. I don’t really give a fuck where.” You shrugged, so nonchalantly that he had to look at you. “He didn’t want her. Nearly got himself killed finding pills for me to take. I refused, he left. But I have her and I hope he’s a walker.” Your gaze was fond but serious, and he found not a single trace of annoyance or anger. “She’s never really liked men. Even Aaron and Eric had to coax her inside for dinner with a stale candybar.” You laughed at the memory, and Daryl realized he could listen to that sound for the rest of his life. “But then you. She wasn’t afraid, not for a single second.”

“It was the ‘possum.” He shrugged, shyly ducking his head for only a moment but looking back up through his fringe when you laughed again.

“Okay, we can go with that.” You lifted yourself up onto the island, kicking your legs, reminding him of Nadia. “Doesn’t really explain why she stuck to you like glue every moment since then, though. Dorl this and Dorl that. I’m not complaining. You’re good for her.” Daryl scoffed, ducking his head once more. “You are, Daryl. And I think she might be good for you too.”

“She’s a kid. Don’t know no better.” He shrugged, the urge to run becoming more and more prevalent. He didn’t belong there. It wasn’t his family. Nadia wasn’t his kid and you weren’t his. God, he wished you were.

You hummed, holding back something. “I had fun tonight, but when you come back, don't worry so much about what I think, okay?” The way he tried to eat more slowly?

“Yeah, okay. Was nice. Thanks, uh—thanks for havin’ me.” The archer made the choice to pass you and head for the door. Your bare feet hit the floor just behind him. “I’ll see ya ‘round. Lemme know if ya need someone to watch Dia.” Why the hell did he offer that?

“I will. Thank you.” The smile you gave him was almost sad. Maybe disappointed? “Goodnight, Daryl.”

“Yeah. Night.” He crossed the threshold but turned back, keeping his head low. “Keep your door shut.” There was no time for you to answer before he was jogging down your steps, barely slowing his stride all the way home. All the lights were off when he arrived and he couldn’t be more grateful to slip in and down to his room to berate himself properly until he was finally able to fall asleep.

Logically, he should have avoided you since that night, but Daryl never claimed to be the brightest crayon in the box. He absolutely did not look for reasons to go to your house, satisfied to find the door closed each and every time. If he saw you carrying something, he’d jog over to take it from you, no matter how big or small. He responded by meeting Nadia in the middle each time she called for him, even if he was covered in dark blood and brain matter.

“Dorl smell ick.” She would say.

He was down bad and though he would deny it until his last breath with the age old line of we’re just friends, Carol was smarter than that.

“Daryl, you and I are friends. You’re sweet on that girl and you can fight me if you try to claim any different.” She stirred at the brownie batter, intermittently swatting away his hand when he tried to sneak a taste. “You should just tell her how you feel.”

“Stop actin’ like ya know ev’rythin’.” He snapped with no real heat.

“Okay, fine. I know nothing.” She stated coolly, spreading the mixture into a baking pan. “Except that Spencer has been spending an awful lot of time around her and Nadia.”

Well, that had his attention. “What? When?” He hopped off the countertop and was quickly standing just beside Carol, moving accordingly so that she could continue her baking.

“Usually when you’re out. I think you intimidate him.”

“Damn well better intimidate him.”

“Why? You’re ‘just friends,’ remember?” Daryl curled his lip at her air quotes, turning on a heel to head toward the door.

“Shuddup.”

He hadn’t been focused, lingering on what Carol had told him that morning. Worrying that Spencer was putting the moves on you that very moment he wasn’t there to do anything about it. What if he’d missed his chance? He growled, trying to take more of his own weight off of Aaron but his leg burned and ached.

“Ain’t that bad.” He tried to brush it off, but it was, in fact, that bad. He hadn’t seen the damn trap, the walker backing him right onto it. He was lucky the dead bastard didn’t take a chunk of him when he went down, but Aaron was quick. Had Daryl been alone, he’d likely be snarling and growling on the ground with his calf still locked within that metal.

“Keep telling yourself that and maybe your stubbornness will keep you on your feet until we can make it back.” The other man huffed. “First Eric, now you. I swear, I’m cursed.” Daryl groaned but couldn’t disagree.

Christ. The archer’s head was fucked. He couldn’t focus with images of you running rampant at the forefront of his mind. The way you would smile when you saw him; how you’d laugh when he’d huff at Dia for calling him Dorl; you’d have him for dinner a few times a week and it was less and less awkward.

He was so fucked.

“Open the gate!” Aaron called urgently. Daryl hadn’t even been paying attention but maybe zoning out was what brought him that far with such an injury. The toe of his boot was dragging, his leg both numb and throbbing in a way he couldn’t seem to understand was even possible. Sasha was yelling, but he couldn’t understand what she was saying. He was too busy trying to look over his shoulder at the steady crimson trail that followed them. Would walkers follow it right to the gates? “Jesus, okay. I’m going to get help to carry you to the infirmary.”

“Fuck Pete. Gimme Y/N or just take me home.” Daryl slurred, his head falling back against the metal just inside the gates. He was fading, tired and smothered by a dark cloud that was creeping into the edges of his vision and mind. He knew he wouldn’t die from this, but damn, did it still suck.

“Dorl! Mama, Dorl boo-boo!”

Tiny, warm hands were on his face. He was cold, didn’t even realize it. Big blue eyes were hovering right in front of his face, a little mouth between chubby cheeks speaking with an urgency that made him want to scoop her up and soothe the worry. “Dia.” He breathed, his mind finally catching up, though he wasn’t sure for how long.

“Nada kiss boo-boo.”

Daryl chuckled breathlessly but pulled the little girl against his chest. “Nah, baby girl, don’t kiss that boo-boo. S’gross.” Big crocodile tears were forming and falling, and his heart ached. His little girl was never supposed to cry, never supposed to even be sad. “M’okay. Your mama’s gonna make it all better, you’ll see.”

“Mama, Dorl got big boo-boo.”

“I see that, baby. Can you move so mommy can take a look?” You were there, your voice a balm to the pain that was slowly fading.

“She’s alright.” Daryl shifted Nadia to his side, letting her hold on with her head on his filthy chest. You’d have to give her a bath later and somehow, he had the energy to feel bad about that.

“Jesus, Daryl, what did you do?” You were cutting the lower part of his pant leg, right there on the street, but he didn’t have it in him to see who might be watching. He muttered bear trap but didn’t really recall it being his voice. Was it even him?

The child holding to him made a noise when the wound was revealed, jagged punctures that still steadily bled and she shouldn’t be seeing that. Why wasn’t someone taking her away? “Ssh. S’okay, Dia. Just look at me—can ya hum that song ya always do when we take ya home?” A tiny sniffle but then a little tune in his ear.

“What happened? He okay?” Rick.

“Daryl!” Ah, Carol. Good.

“Hey, take her, would ya? Don’t need to be here.” He was gentle if not weak when he tried to hand off Nadia, kissing one of her little hands when he finally peeled them away from his neck. “M’a be okay, Dia.” She cried. Even as Carol promised her cookies and brownies, she cried and his heart ached more than his leg. He barely caught the word disinfect before the hellfire in his leg struck him like a hammer to the head and he knew no more.

“S’not that big’a deal. I can take care’a myself at home.” Daryl grimaced and watched you moving things around in your living room. You disappeared and returned several moments later with pillows and blankets.

“I know you can, but I also know you’re stubborn as a mule and you’ll try to go out of those gates behind Aaron within a day.” He barely opened his mouth before you held up an authoritative finger. “Don’t lie to me, Daryl Dixon. And don’t pretend I don’t know at least a little by now.”

“Dorl!”

Before he could process her voice, the archer had a lapful of toddler. It was hazy but he could remember how he felt at the gate, the protective instinct, the absolute knowledge that Nadia was his no matter how untrue it was. He couldn’t seem to shake it.

“Hey, Dia.”

“Be careful of his boo-boo, sweetie.” You admonished in the most gentle tone while propping Daryl’s leg up on a pillow. “He’s going to stay with us for a few days so I can keep an eye on him.”

“Why?” Came the innocent reply.

“Because Daryl is naughty and doesn’t like to listen when he’s told he can’t do something. Like you with Miss Carol’s cookies.”

Nadia gasped dramatically and turned those big blues to Daryl. “Dorl takes cookies.”

Glancing at you, expression bland, he nodded. “Yeah, I take the cookies.”

“So he has to stay right here on this couch unless mommy is helping him, okay? Can you be my junior nurse and make sure he stays put?”

“That ain’t fair.” Daryl objected with an indignant pout.

“Why? Because you know it’ll work?”

Daryl grunted and crossed his arms. He was in for a long few days.

A week later, the stitches were out but there was residual swelling that was hindering healing. Nothing to worry about, you had told him.

“Why ain’t Ken wearin’ no clothes?” Daryl was concerned to be ‘playing Barbies’ when Barbie wore a bathing suit and Ken was naked as the day he was—assembled? So far he’d been able to avoid dialogue and just bounce the doll around with facial expressions that kept the toddler occupied. “Seems a lil’ fucked up.”

“You try finding doll clothes nowadays.” There was laughter in your voice and tenderness in your touch while you cleaned the wound and changed the dressings. Only a couple more days of that.

“Maybe I will.” The archer mused, standing the doll on top of Nadia’s head, keeping it there with his finger on the top. Her little arms could only reach the legs, facing reddening and scrunching with giggles.

“Time to pick up your toys. Daryl needs to rest and you, missy, need to get to bed.”

“Noooooo.”

“Don’t sass your mama.” Daryl dropped the doll in favor of patting the kid on the head. “G’on now.” The archer dropped an arm outward, fully expecting the hug that was incoming. “Night, kid.”

“Nigh’ night’, dada.”

It was at that moment Daryl Dixon completely forgot how to breathe. His eyes were already on yours before the kid decided to drop that bomb and skip away to brush her teeth like she hadn’t just turned his world upside down.

“M’sorry. M’so sorry. I don’t—she didn’t—”

“I’m just—” you interrupted, backing toward the doorway, “I need to put her to bed.” You stumbled out of the room as if he were chasing you.

He wasn’t sure he could move if he tried. His heart was in his nose, his stomach in his ass, and his lungs were plaited around his spine. Why would the kid call him dada? It made no sense. A couple of months wasn’t long enough for anything like that. Right? Fuck, he needed to talk to Carol. His brain was malfunctioning. He couldn’t process this.

Throwing off the blankets, Daryl sat up, levering to his feet. He still had a limp but it was easier now. Shuffling to the exit, he stopped, staring at the handle of the closed door. You’d been doing that now, hadn’t you? He said something once and you had listened.

“So you’re just gonna run away after that, is that it?”

The archer spun so fast that he lost his balance, righting himself with a hand on the wall. “It ain’t—I was—just needed to talk to Carol.” He admitted. His shirt was damp and he was certain he would vomit.

“She didn’t mean anything by it, Daryl. I’ll talk to her.” You were wringing your hands, your chin wobbling.

Don’t cry. Please don’t cry. He had the sudden desire to hug you but didn’t dare move. Aside from casual touches, bumping shoulders in jest, and of course the occasional wound treatment, the two of you had never physically interacted. Not that he hadn’t thought about it. Wow, had he thought about it. “I know she didn’t mean nothin’.” Ouch. Somehow that revelation was worse.

“She loves you, Daryl. I’ll talk to her, I promise. Please don’t walk out on her. On—on me.”

He likely looked like an idiot hobbling half the distance to where you stood. “Ain’t goin’ nowhere.” When you nodded and dropped your head, he dared another unsteady step. “M’a stay as long as ya want me here. You an’ Dia.” With one hand, he touched your shoulder and left the decision up to you. You needed no further prompting to step into his arms. For a moment, nothing else mattered. But then you were stepping back.

“Okay.” You nodded, turning your head to wipe away a tear you thought he didn’t already notice. “I like having you here.” He returned the nod silently.

Nothing else was said. Daryl went back to the couch, you went to get ready for bed. The night went on with both you and Daryl feeling more alone than ever.

“She really called you dada?” Carol asked in an excited whisper, the wide grin on her face in direct contrast to Daryl’s frown. “That’s a good thing, right?”

“No!” He shot back immediately, looking over his shoulder at the little girl playing on the living room floor. They had somehow even managed to get her to sit next to Judith’s playpen, so long as Daryl didn’t touch Lil’ Asskicker, peace remained. “I mean, yeah. Fuck, I dunno what I mean, Carol.”

“Daryl.” The seriousness in her tone brought his gaze to hers, flinching when he found her leaning on her elbows much closer than she had been just a moment ago. “I’m gonna ask you a question and I want you to answer me honestly.”

“Ain’t never lied to ya.”

“Okay.” Her eyes, just as blue as his own, narrowed. “Do you love that little girl?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I do.” It was true. It was so different from how he loved Judith but yet completely the same. He would give anything for her to have been his, to have been there while you carried her. He wanted to spit on the man that tried to force you to end it. He couldn’t imagine a world without you and little Nadia anymore. It was as if the two of you were the missing pieces that could give him a chance to be whole.

“And Y/N?”

“What?”

“Do you love Y/N?” Carol leaned back a little, her gaze no less intense.

“S’a lil’ more—I, uh—”

“I said STOP!”

Daryl was on his feet instantly at the sound of your voice, running outside. His limp was less profound and didn’t hinder him from descending the steps to see you across the street with your arm in Spencer’s grasp. You were likely on your way to collect Nadia.

“Come on, Y/N. You’re beautiful, and I’ve seen the way you look at me.” Spencer pulled you toward him.

“You’re delusional!”

“Stop being such a prude. You’ve got a kid. You think you got any other options out there?”

“Yeah! She does!” Daryl’s fist had already connected before the other man had even realized he was approaching. The archer stepped in front of you and stayed there, coiled to attack but holding steady until he was given a reason.

“You?” Spencer spat, literally, a glob of blood and saliva landing next to Daryl’s boot. “The dirty redneck everyone’s afraid of? That’s laughable.”

Daryl started to move until he felt the smallest tug on his jeans. Nadia was looking up at him, equal parts curious and afraid.

“Dada mad?”

Your arms encircled his stomach with whispers of he’s not worth it repeated over his shoulder. “Get the fuck outta here an’ don’t come near my girls again.” The archer waited, arching a brow when Spencer hesitated.

“You heard him.” Rick stepped up to Daryl’s left, Michonne and Carol on this right. “Best be going now.” Spitting again, the man curled his lip and scrambled to his feet, stomping off toward his mother’s home. “Well, that’s gonna be a problem.”

“I’ll go talk to Deanna.” Maggie offered, nodding at Rick but stopping to squeeze Daryl’s arm on her way by. What the fuck? Had everyone noticed?

“We should make ourselves scarce.” Michonne suggested with a knowing grin.

Once they were all out of sight, Daryl deflated, one hand falling to the top of Nadia’s head. “Ain’t angry, Dia.” She sniffled and seemed to only hug his leg tighter. When it was clear he couldn’t turn with the added weight to his injured leg, you stepped around in front of him.

“Your girls?” You asked, expression so terrifyingly unreadable.

“I just—he needed to leave an’ I didn’t want him to think he could come back ‘round.” His bottom lip was instantly being gnawed between his teeth. “Needed to make sure ya were okay.”

“So, we’re not your girls?” There was definitely disappointment there. You were wringing your hands again before reaching toward Nadia.

“I mean, if ya—yeah.” Daryl swallowed hard. “Yeah, you’re my girls. Have been for a while. M’just a idiot an’ I was—I’m scared. Don’t wanna be like my old man.”

You hummed, stepping into him to brush back the fringe across his eyes. “You haven’t told me anything about your parents, but I’m willing to listen. I wanna know everything about you.”

“Me too—’bout you, I mean. ‘Bout Dia.” He was reaching for your face, leaning in just as you did. His lips barely brushed yours before there came another tug at his jeans again.

“Home, dada.”

You laughed while Daryl just looked stricken and confused. “You heard her, Daryl. Let’s go home and figure this out.”

One Year Later

“Daddy! Lookit picture!!”

Daryl looked up from the mess of rabbits he was skinning on the porch, blowing upward to move some of the hair from his eyes. The almost four year old was sprinting down the street from the Grimes’ house, a piece of paper waving in her grip above her head. He waved to Michonne who had been watching Nadia make it back safely. “Whatcha got there, Dia?” She was grinning from ear to ear when she presented it to him, holding it out in front of her because ew no when he reached for it with bloody fingers.

There were three stick figures. One was obviously him if the crazy hair and scribbled attempt at a crossbow were anything to go by. A small figure was at his side, dark hair and a big smile: Nadia. And then there was you. Daryl snorted. You were a stick figure with a circle drawn around the middle.

“Your mama’s gonna ‘preciate that, kid.”

“Appreciate what?” You stepped out with two glasses of water, placing them on the table and resting your hand on your swollen belly. Nadia proudly displayed the drawing and received a big smile and mhm, so pretty from you while Daryl snickered into his shoulder. “Go put it on the fridge, baby, and wash your hands. Supper’s nearly ready.”

“Okay, mama!” And off she went in a blur.

“Not funny, Dixon.” You dug your bare toes into his lower back until he yelped.

“S’a little funny.” He wiped his knife across his jeans.

“About as funny as you cleaning these rabbits on my front porch.” He ducked his head sheepishly when he turned to watch you lower into your chair.

“I’ll clean it up, Sunshine. Don’t get all uppity ‘bout it.” Rising from his perch, he gathered the meat onto a parchment you had given him and wrapped it, leaving the bones and fur to handle later. “Dia! C’mere!” Moving at inhuman speed, she was looking up at him from the doorway the next second. Daryl jerked his chin toward a bag on the table beside his water glass. “Broughtcha somethin’ back.”

You leaned forward with curiosity and watched your daughter pull out the contents of the bag, barely catching a glimpse of the different colors before Nadia hugged Daryl’s leg and disappeared back inside with squeals of delight echoing in her wake.

“What did you bring her?”

Daryl smirked. “Told ya I’d find clothes for them dolls.”

#murda writes #daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #the walking dead #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl dixon x y/n #daryl dixon x you #step dad!daryl #dad!daryl #daryl x female reader #daryl dixon x female reader #daryl dixon the walking dead #daryl dixon twd #Spotify

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sparky-is-spiders · 1 year ago

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Literally the only people who know that Jon is transmasc are Sasha (who peeked through his employee records and/or dug up as much history as possible on him for fun (she needed to know why the fuck he was Like That) and stumbled across the info by accident) and Jonah (who read his mind). Neither of them tell anyone. Literally nobody else knows (not even Georgie) cause like. Why would they ever need to know?

I can accept basically any trans/nb reading of Jon however my personal favorites are transmasc Jon who transitioned physically and socially as early as possible and just never mentioned it to anyone cause it wasn't any of their business OR Jon being the most repressed transfem/nb in existence. They'll be talking about gender or whatever and Jon will be like "it's normal to feel totally disconnected from your gender all the time and also vaguely want boobs. That's just a guy thing I think." only for whoever they're all talking to to go "wtf no?? It's not????"

#this is also assuming sex repulsed/averse jon cause otherwise someone would probably have noticed (unless he got bottom surgery?)#also unrelated I think that being trans is like. no. 1 strongest indicator of being an eyevatar #look at jon. look at sasha. look at jonah. do you think a single one of those people were cis????#(btw yes sasha is eyevatar material. did you listen to a single episode with her in it? they had to kill her off she would’ve become another #archivist w/ jon otherwise and accidently emded the world like 50 episodes early cause they both kept Fucking Around and Finding Out)#anyway standard pls don’t bring j//mart or martin into this please and thank you

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levi501ackerman · 7 months ago

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She Looks Just Like a Dream | Levi x Reader Fluff

masterlist

Summary: One day the scouts find out Levi has a wife. Everyone wants to meet her.

Word Count: 1.7k

Megan's Note: Hello! I just finished Attack on Titan for the first time last Thursday April 11th, 2024. I haven't been obsessed with something in a while. Obsessed in the way of reading fanfics and making another tumblr account. I wrote this for fun because AOT reignited the inner teenage fangirl I used to be for One Direction. I hope you enjoy my first AOT fanfic. posted: 4/16/24. Song correlated: "Something About You" by Eyedress & Dent May

Sasha walked past the section commanders and Erwin standing and talking amongst themselves. She could not help but stare as she walked by because you were conversing with Captain Levi. It looked like you were . . . enjoying the conversation. There was Erwin talking to some recognizable leaders then you two off to the side fully facing each other. Sasha has never seen you before. You would giggle and your smile lit up your face. Levi had his arms crossed and his face looked softer. He would nod and indistinctively say something back to you which would just cause you to laugh and smile bigger. He wouldn’t take his eyes off of you. What a new version of Levi. Sasha looked for her table of friends. They needed to see Captain Levi acting like this.

Jean, Connie, Eren, Armin, and Mikasa were looking at Sasha already as if they were waiting to see the expression on Sasha. As she approached the table. She lowered her voice and pointed with her thumb, “You guys seeing this?”

“It’s the Captain’s wife,” Eren said.

“He has a wife!?” Sasha exclaimed louder.

“We were surprised too, everyone’s been trying to eavesdrop on them,” Connie said.

Sasha looked over her shoulder and the rest of the table couldn’t help but glance because how the hell did Levi pull you? And not only that what could you two be talking about? Captain Levi never mentioned being married or even hinted that he had someone at all. Battle plans could not make the pretty girl so giggly so what the hell were they talking about?

“What’s her name?” Sasha asked.

“No one knows,” Mikasa said softly. “Eren thinks she could be a Jenny or a Catherine.”

“Who knew he was married.”

“Possibly to keep her a secret. He would not want the wrong people to know about her.” Armin said.

“I want to meet her,” Eren stated and most of the table agreed. He blushed a little and hoped no one noticed. They all could not take their eyes off of you. “We’re the Levi Squad and we should know our Captain’s wife!”

“We could introduce ourselves as the Levi Squad too so it doesn’t come off as weird that we are all approaching her—them!” Connie added and he started standing up. The table still stayed in their seat. “Are we going?”

“I’m not,” Mikasa said.

“What if he makes us run laps?” Jean asked.

“Why would he make us run laps? Just don’t ask any weird questions and we’ll be fine.” Eren said standing up next.

“Let’s go,” Connie said and the table except for Mikasa stood up. They approached the section commanders who noticed the five of them going towards them. Levi gave them the side eye as they came closer. You turned from Levi, noticed the group, and offered them a smile.

“Good morning, Captain Levi.” Eren started and everyone greeted him with their eyes and then turned to you. Your clothes were cute and styled nicely. Levi noticed every single one of them scanning you head to toe. It was the third? or fourth? group to approach him while talking to you. “Hi we are Levi’s squad, you’re his wife?”

“Yes.” You said smiling at the staring eyes.

“Your shoes are really cute, miss!” Sasha added excitingly.

“This is my wife, Y/N,” Levi said in his low voice. “These scouts are some of the brats in my special operations squad.” You extended your hand to Connie first. He grasped your hand.

“Wow, you have the softest skin.” He said in awed and wide eyes. You furrowed your eyebrow and let out a soft giggle. Levi scolded him.

“It’s very nice to meet you,” You said as you shook each of their hand looking at all of them in the eyes.

“My name is Armin. You seem very nice as well.” Armin smiled.

“Thank you. Really though everyone is very polite here and is very kind.” You smiled and motioned with both hands to the room. Some soldiers Levi talked to maybe only once or twice would approach to talk to you. Some soldiers talked to you before ever even talking to the captain himself.

“We didn’t know Levi had a wife. How long have you two been together?” Sasha asked intensely.

“About . . . “ You looked to Levi and back at the group, “ten years? Coming up on eleven.” You said with warmth on your cheeks. They thought you were not like Levi at all. They thought you were enthusiastic when speaking to others and were like the sun. It did not seem like you would be into Levi at all. Your eyes looked down at Jean and he started blushing because he thought you were glancing at his crotch. “Your pocket watch is so pretty!” You admired the watch nearly falling out of his pocket. Jean yanked it out and thrusted the watch towards you.

“Y-You can have it.”

“Your grandmother gave that to you, Jean!” Connie said grabbing and pulling his wrist back. Eren laughed at Jeans’s blunt stupidity.

“I can get you a nice pocket watch next time I’m in the capital,” Levi said and you smiled.

“You’re so funny. Keep that your grandmother wanted you to have it.” You assured and Jean silently nodded. His only thought currently was you called him funny.

“We’d love to get to know you more Y/N! Are you in the military regiment at all?” Sasha asked, “Where do you live?”

“She’s not going to tell you where we live,” Levi furrowed his eyebrows and Eren burst out laughing. Sasha’s probably going to run laps.

“I can’t be that interesting to you!” You lightly swatted your hand and though it wasn’t a joke, the group couldn’t help but slightly smile. You were interesting to them. Soldiers wanted to talk to you just because of your beauty. “We opened a tea shop years ago and I collect vintage tea sets to sell. I also write books.” You smiled back and their faces lit up.

“You written books?” Connie asked.

“Yes.”

“Anything we might have read?” Eren asked enthusiastically.

“Do any of you actually read?” Levi asked. Let the record be known that the 104th Cadet Corps averaged the lowest academic grade. Most didn’t want to read the textbooks or take notes like they would have to in school.

“Hey be nice, your squad seems smart.” You wrapped an arm around Levi and everyone could not help but stare at the physical touch. You touched him and they never seen another woman touch their captain. “A few short stories for children have been published and distributed to the schools so they would not be interesting for adults to read.”

“You’ve done so much . . . how old are you?” Sasha asked and Armin’s eyes went big.

“Don’t you know it’s rude to ask that!” Levi cut in. She’s going to be running laps until sunset again.

“Y/N! I’m sorry I just mean you’re so accomplished and you’re so beautiful! Your hair is amazing. Levi, I can’t believe you kept her from us.” Sasha said. He rolled his eyes with a slightly softer face. You blushed.

“Thank you, you’re gorgeous as well.” Sasha was elated when you complimented her.

“You’re so beautiful . . .” She unknowingly repeated herself, “What made you drawn to Levi?”

“Sasha!” Connie and Eren pulled her back. Laps until the next morning.

“What?!” You smiled and wrapped your arm around Levi again, giving him a light shake and a squeeze. It was an odd site for the group to see. “Who wouldn’t be into this hilarious and kind gentleman? I feel like I have to fight for his attention sometimes whenever people come talk to us.” Truthfully most people approached you and Levi because of you. Guys would make up a stupid excuse to talk to Captain Levi with the intention of talking to you. Levi knew it too, but he couldn’t help that your energy makes people flock to you. He admired that you made friends where ever you went. Hated when guys would speak to you as if Levi wasn’t there. You blushed while looking at him and when Levi met your eyes his face got softer and he uncrossed his arms and nudged you. Levi looked away to hide his blushed cheeks. Who the fuck is she describing? the group thought. The Captain has never made a joke to them and they wondered what he does for you to call him a gentleman. “Levi! Are you being too hard on them?” You asked playfully and the five of them wanted to shout yes. Suddenly, a woman screaming your name excitedly from across the room could only be from one person.

“Hange! I was wondering when I would see you today!” You turned your attention to Hange running to embrace you in a big hug. You hugged and greeted Moblit with a warm hug afterward.

“Okay okay, you met Y/N run along,” Levi said. You instantly whipped back your attention to the group.

“Excuse me, it was very nice to meet you! Come over for dinner sometime so I can get to know you more! I can make my special braised short-rib beef.” Sasha was ready to duel Levi for you. Your white teeth sparkled to them and your smile radiated through the room. Connie, Sasha, and Jean enthusiastically agreed to your offer.

“If you keep inviting everyone to dinner how are we going to fit people into our house?” Levi asked you.

They walked away in awe of the captain’s wife. Something about you emits a glow in a dull room.

“She’s not like Levi at all . . .” Armin said and Mikasa turned her head to the group heading back to the table. She noticed all of them seemed to be in a good mood.

“He’s probably going to make you run laps for being pushy.” Jean joked to Sasha.

“What did you say, Sasha?” Mikasa asked

“She was just being stupid.” Jean intervened.

“Jean you offered her your grandmother’s pocket watch,” Connie said and Mikasa raised her eyebrows.

“I’d do it again.”

“What was she like? I could see her smiling a lot,” Mikasa said.

“She was positive and really supportive of Levi,” Eren said while reflecting on you. Everything you said was replaying in his head.

“She wrote children's books that are now in the schools,” Armin added.

“Damn it, I wanted to know the names of the books,” Eren said.

“Y/N seemed like someone that Levi needed in his life. She said he was a gentleman which I wasn’t expecting—” Connie started.

“Well, he would treat her the best rather than anyone else,” Jean said. They turned to get another look at you but a few soldiers were blocking their view. Another round of people who wanted to meet you.

masterlist

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ifhybutilovechu · 19 days ago

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Day 25 : humiliation + Day 26: public

ft . Onyankopon

You and Onyankopon were getting ready to go to a party , he watches through the mirror as you do you makeup. You spot him ad raise a brow but he just shakes his head .

As you get finished with you makeup you put your dress asking him to zip up the back , while he does so he peeps you outfit the shortness rubbing him the wrong way "This a little short ma" he whispers in you ear and you scoff playfully thinking he's joking "Boy bye" you say and walk off . Little did you know he was dead serious .

strike 1

he counts in his head as you put on your jewelry "Ok baby I'm done , you ready?" you ask and he nods. On the car ride there you take multiple pictures and tiktoks the short v neck leaving little to the imagination .

When you guys make it there you immediately give him a kiss before rushing off to find the birthday girl he was shocked you didn't even say bye 'strike 2' , your best friend Sasha . "Heyy bitch! you yell while running to give her a hug she so gladly returns ."You finally made it!!" she exclaims before handing you a shot you gracefully take . Y'all immediately make it to the dance floor and she caresses your waist and you grind on her playfully .

You turn around and start throwing it back on her and she catches it all , smacking at your ass while your short dress starts coming up . People start to crowd around cheering and recording , all types of hands coming to get a grab .

Onyankopon and his friend Connie get some drinks as they sit and reconnect . "How u been" Connie asks and Ony sighs "I feel like my girl been trying me lately" he says and Connie burst out laughing "I'm so happy it ain't just been me , Sasha been pushing all my buttons ." As they talk they hear the party getting louder and come to check it out . They walk to the middle of the circle and Onyankopon can feel his blood pressure getting high . You and Sasha shaking ass for the whole too see .

"Ah fuck nah" he hears Connie whispers before he reaches by his waist band and starts shooting into the air . Everybody scatters and before you and Sasha could run off to they grab y'all .

As you ride home you text Sasha trying not to make eye contact with Ony .

You : Girl we so fuckedd

Sasha : yes I'm almost home , shivering in my boots

You : Deadass , shit gotta go

Sahsa : I'm praying 4 u

"Put that phone down" Onyankopon tries to say as calmly as he could and you quickly turn it off. "So?" he asks and you don't answer turning away and you can see him nod his head in the corner of your eye "Aight"

He parks the car and your heart drops notices it's a parking lot. "Get to the back" he says coldly and you immediately crawl back and he presses a firm smack to your as causing a squeak . He turns you around pressing your face into the mattress and pulls up your dress and notices you have no panties on. He reaches his hand back before landing a harsh slap on your ass . You groan and leap forward but he just pull you back , this continues until you ass is red and sore .

"Fuck!" you yelp a tear falling from your eye . He swipes his thumb over your cunt feeling your wetness . "You like that , everyone looking at what's mine? he asks and you shake your head and he smack your ass . "I cant hear you" he says as you whimper "no.."

He lines his thick cock up with your entrance before ramming in. You moan and unconsciously move away for his brutal thrust , he grips your hips and locks you in place "Fuckk , baby I'm sorryy" you beg as your drool pools onto the leather seats . "You too late baby" he says before smacking your eyes "Now throw that shit back on me" you try your best but as you watch someone walk by your trust in the tinted windows didn't seem so high anymore , you smack your head at his stomach trying to push him out. Tapping on his stomach to signal him

"Don't focus on them look at me" he whispers into your ear , gripping on your neck. You throw you ass in circles on his cock and he groans "Fuck baby just like that... you gon catch this nut" he asks "Yes pa..ooh shit!" you say clenching around him as you get butterflies in your stomach . Your hands smacks at the fogged window and tears flood out your eyes , he tightens his grip on your hips to pound into you become you cum all over him . He watches the white ring appear around his cock and groans . thrusting again before cumming deep inside. He looks at you messy makeup and fuck up hair , hearing the squelch from the cum dripping out you hole.

"Maybe you won't act up when you can't go out with a baby on your hip?"

#black reader #aot x black reader #aot smut #aot onyankopon #aot #aot x reader #attack on titan #onyankopon x black y/n #onyankopon x black reader smut #onyankopon x reader

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leviraaaaaa · 1 year ago

Text

Farewell, Captain. (Levi Ackerman x injured!reader)

Cw: mentions of blood.

Summary: Levi Ackerman finds you in the verge of death.

It was going to rain

You bit down on your lip in worry. This was bad.

The expedition was supposed to be a small, short one. Just to catch a new titan or two for Hange's experiments. Go out, catch them, come back.

It was a small squad, about 15 people only. Section Commander Hange had picked out only a few to accompany. Being Levi's second, and one of the most treasured soldier in the military, usually they wouldn't call you for such simple tasks. The only reason you were asked to tag along was because you were also section commander Hange's assistant, you helped them in conducting the titan experiments. You didn't really mind as you had nothing better to do anyways. And by now, these small expeditions doesn't scare you as much as they used to.

You were ranked at the rear of the formation, along with two more. On one side, Sasha rode besides you, deeply focused. Captain Levi had, for some reason ordered her to come as well, to your joy (Though you suspected it was more of a punishment to stop her from stealing food, since banning her from meals only made the problem worse). You were glad hearing your best friend's coming too as the journey would be far less boring, although Sasha wasn't too enthusiastic. She kept groaning about how hungry she was and how she'd have to wait a couple more hours before she gets some food. (Irritated also because captain Levi had stripped her out of all hidden snacks before setting out.)

On the other side of you were a new recruit. She was in Section Commander Hange's squad, recruited because of her apparent brains in therotical knowledge. But Hange wanted her to have a bit of experience on the outside world too, so there she was. First ever expedition. Poor thing was shaking like a leaf.

Two nights ago, the special operations squad was sent out to clear the area out of any titans, baiting them towards where the trap was set along the South-East abandoned Tsuchou town. So the route was expected to be safe. And though precautions were taken, you and your teammates were much more relaxed, as you rode along, joking and laughing.

Except the new girl. She'd been rigid as stone since you've set out.

Suddenly, the girl closed the distance between you, pulling her horse so near, your legs almost touched. You looked at her, surprised. She'd been keeping noticable distance from you and Sasha until now.

"It's... it's going to rain, won't it?" She muttered quietly, glancing at you from the corner of her eyes.

You looked up and nodded, eyes shifting to the sky. "It appears so, yes."

"How long are we going to go on for?"

"Just a little further. We should be by the traps in about an hour."

The girl's shoulders visibly sunk, her face falling. "Another hour?"

"Hey," you called out softly, noticing the fear in her body language. She looked pitiful. "It's going to be fine. I know exactly what you must feel like but I promise you nothing's going to go wrong today. It's just a short trip, so hang on okay?"

Sasha shot an encouraging smile to her following your words.

She pursed her lips, giving a tight nod. Her hands gripped the reins tighter.

"I know..it's just..it feels so wrong." She whispered. "The sky was fine when we came out, then it turned dark within moments."

You understood. It really had been a good day. Or so it had seemed when the expedition began. Bright blue sky without a single cloud. Then half an hour in, it turned dark, thick black clouds appearing out of nowhere. And wind was blowing so heavy you could barely keep your eyes open, the dust that was getting kicked up by the horses kept flying into them.

It did feel wrong.

You thought about it for a second as you watched the girl gradually shifting further, regaining the distance. Her eyes unfocused, a worried expression settled.

"Sash, think I'm gonna go ahead." You told Sasha.

Sasha immediately started shaking her head but she barely had time to got any words out before you squeezed the horse's sides, telling her to speed up. She did, hooves clashing against the ground, leaving small clouds of dust. You passed through your comrades, ignoring their side eyes.

Breaking ranks was absolutely unpermitted unless in life threatening situations. But when you're favoured by the higher ups and second to none but Levi Ackerman, you get a lot of free passes and unspoken privileges—which, needless to point out, you abused whenever you could.

You speedened up until the familiar figure caught your eye. Nudging your horse, you manurvered it towards him, catching up to him in moments

Levi glanced at you sideways with narrowed eyes, annoyance flashing through his features at your appearance.

"Tch." He clicked his tongue. "Why the hell did you leave your post? Just because it's not an actual expedition doesn't mean-"

"Yeah, yeah" You cut him off, not in the mood for a lecture. Levi's eye twitched, but he didn't say anything. He never did.

If it was anyone else but you, Levi would have taught you a lesson right there. And if it was anyone but Levi, you would for sure at the very least be demoted for speaking in such tone. But though none of you would admit it, the relationship between you and Levi were much casual than it should be between a commanding officer and a soldier.

"It's going to rain, captain." You pointed towards the sky. "I don't like this. Can't we camp out or something? We've cleared out the area two nights ago anyways, there shouldn't be titans around. It'll be safe and we can continue later."

Levi sighed. "Tell that to four-eyes. I tried. They won't listen to me. Keeps saying, 'its not much further'."

You grimaced. When it came to titans, section commander Hange lost all rationality. "It won't be a light rain either. Looks like a fucking storm is coming."

Levi nodded in agreement. "I'll see what I can do." He huffed "You don't have to worry about it. "

"I'll be hella pissed if I get drenched, I swear."

"No one asked. And go back to your damn post, you little pest." He finished sharply, giving you a warning glance.

You obligated, even you knew when to step back. Pulling down on the reins, you slowed your horse down, turning it around to go back to your original spot. Sasha and the new recruit were staring wide eyed.

"You really need to stop doing that. One of these days, captain Levi will just go batshit on you." Sasha shook her head, a grin on her face.

"We'll see." You snorted.

"Seriously, I don't even know why he lets you screw around like this, if it was any of us-"

"Did you ask him about the rain?" The rookies high pitched voice cut Sasha off. She was staring at you, face contorted in anticipation.

"Yeah, kid." You responded gloomily. "Don't think they'll stop unless it actually starts raining."

She didn't say anything, just looked away, distancing herself with her horse again, knuckles taut on the reins.

"She's just scared." Sasha muttered, glancing at her.

"Weren't we all?"

"Don't remind me." She shuddered at the reminder of our first expedition—the one where more than half of us were massacred by the female titan.

You watched the sky with squinted eyes, as the clouds had covered the last rays of the sun, creating an eerie dark ambience, even making you shift warily in your position.

The kid was right, it felt wrong.

Somewhere far away, thunder rolled. Once. Twice. The rumbling sound was almost deafening.

That's when the first drop of rain hit your face. It rolled down your cheek and fell on the ground.

And then the sky crashed down upon the earth.

A curse escaped your lips, completely unprepared for the sudden phenomenon. Surprised yelps from others joined yours. Hastily, you wrapped your cloak around yourself tightly to regain some warmth that you lost.

Oh dear. This was definitely bad .

Within seconds, the world was white. You couldn't see anything. Only faint outlines and blurred green. Somewhere far front, you heard Hange groan and Moblit screaming out to move out to far right to the forest to take shelter underneath the trees.

Despite being half blind, you followed the orders, pulling the reins. You felt the thuds of Sasha's and the new recruits horses match yours.

Then Sasha gasped.

She hissed out your name, her voice terrified.

"Titans." She whispered.

Your heart fell. No.

"What?" You yelled out, praying to God you heard wrong.

"I can hear titans!" Sasha said louder this time, the panic in her tone clear. "From everywhere!"

Damn Sasha and her extraordinary hearing abilities.

"Shit. Shit shit shit!" You cursed out. Why? How? The area was supposed to be clear. Why were they swarming on you then?!

"We have to let the others know!"

"How!? The rain is too thick and loud for the signal guns to be seen or heard! Hell, we probably won't even hear titans come up until they're breathing down our damn necks!" You were losing your cool, the panic settling in.

Scouts did not go out in expeditions when it rained. It was a rule. Never.

But here the fuck you were.

You heard the rookie whimper right beside your ear. Your head turned to see her almost over your shoulders, eyes wide with terror as she heard the conversation, eyes switching from Sasha to you.

"It'll be fine." You said to her, trying to calm down for her sake. But you knew as well, the chances of it being fine was next to fucking zero because Sasha's ears were too fucking accurate. "It'll be fine, just stick close to me-"

The terrified yelps of several people up front cut you off and your blood froze.

A huge, enormous figure standing before you, staring down with wide, hungry eyes. A creepy smile on its face.

You stilled, right there. Your breathing stopped.

No no no.

Not here.

Your horse reacted before you processed it, throwing itself to the side just as the titans feet slammed against the ground just where you've been, sending tremors down the earth. It's grubby hand swooshed over your head.

The mount flailed wildly as you tried to keep balance. You were about to whip the reins and get the hell out of there when another cry pierced through your bones.

From much, much close.

The rookie.

You whipped your head to see the girl running the exact fucking opposite way, the titan following right behind with big, heavy thuds.

You didn't even care where Sasha might be.

She was experienced, she'd be fine.

The kid won't be fine.

In a split second decision, you turned your mount around, grabbing it's neck as it charged in full speed following the titan, speedily crossing it.

You were going in the forest.

Not the wisest decision you've made because you still couldn't see anything except for the outline of the titan behind you, you could crash into a tree any second.

But fuck.

"Hey, you moron! Come back here!" You yelled out to her in frustration and desperation. She didn't even turn around, only speedened up. "That's the wrong fucking way! Turn around!"

You moved, fast as the wind, raindrops stabbing your face like tiny little frost needles, making you wince.

You entered the forest, deeper, deeper.

This was bad.

And then it got worse.

It was the red that caught your eyes. The type of red you could recognize anywhere.

Blood was splattered all across the ground, the rainwater washing it away.

Oh no no no.

The crunch of human bones jolted you awake as you looked up to see the titan that had been the cause of it. You stared. Stared. Stared as it stared back at you.

You looked down, right there on the foot of it, rolling around was the detached head of the girl.

You gazed back up.

And then you saw two more. Slowly, steadily coming out of the forest, disturbingly enlarged organs swinging with every steps.

3 titans in front. 1 in the back.

What have you done.

You had barely turned your gear switch on when the first titan struck, stomping down your horse. Just in time, with the gap of a second from being smashed, you pressed on the triggers, the wires shooting forward, planting to whatever surface they had found and pulling you with it.

It was reckless. Stupid. Using ODM gear when you couldn't see shit. But you were in a forest so hopefully it'll randomly latch onto trees. Or it could fucking slip because of the rain and you could die. But you took your chance, not that you had a choice.

One of the advantages titans had was that they could see clearly in the rain. Their enormous pupils followed your movements, hands reaching out to grab you. You twisted just in time, releasing the wires and shooting them again, using them to swing yourself further and faster.

And you did that. Every time the wires shot out, your heart caught in your throat thinking it'd miss and find nothing to latch onto but fate must've had your back because it didn't.

Until it did.

Perhaps it was the stupid rush of confidence you gained from moving so perfectly, that you had speedened up. That was the downfall. Though one had latched, the other anchor slipped, missing the branch and instead going over it. The moment you realized it, you knew it was over.

The momentum from before and the pull of the wires, you slammed against the trees, hitting your head so hard, you felt your skull crack, the pain ripping through your brain. The anchor that had latched onto the tree didn't bury itself properly and you clashed right against it. The metal hook went straight through your shoulders. And nothing could ever have prepared you for the agony that panged through.

You dropped, back clashing against the ground. You lied there, sprawled and bleeding out, the rain pooling in your eyes, blurrying your already hazy vision from hitting your head so hard. But you watched the titans surround you, an almost giddy look crossing their stupid expressions.

Those little fuckers.

And so you watched, helplessly, as one of them reached out, pulling you up by your legs, your head dangling upside down.

And all you saw was big wide eyes and gaped jaws.

One of the other reached out, wrapping it's fat fingers around your midsections, pulling you towards itself. The one holding you groaned, pulling you back, as if it didn't really want to share. Your abdominal muscles and organs strech to the point you thought you'd split in half.

What a shit way to die, you thought.

You survived Shiganshina, you survived Trost, you survived that damn 57th expedition.

And you were going to die here.

Alone.

While four fucking ugly as hell titans fought about who got to eat you.

'Second to none but Levi Ackerman', your ass.

But your friends, you thought. Eren had yet so much to go, that you won't be there to see. Before you left, when you've said goodbye to Connie and Jean, you smacked both of them in the head, that wasn't a good farewell, was it? Sasha would go hungry during meals because you won't be there to share half your food.

You wondered if captain would be the slightest bit of sad.

Had he noticed you missing by now? Would he miss the little banters and bickerings you had every day with him? Would he be disappointed that you were going out in such a lame way?

You closed your eyes, dangling upside down was not helping your case. Your head was starting to get empty as you felt the blood pool down in your head.

That's good. At least you won't be conscious while you die.

It won't hurt.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four. Five. Six. Seven....one,five, four? Ticktocktickticktocktick-

Then you fell.

It wasn't a gentle drop You hit the ground again, full force. And this time you felt your leg bend awkwardly, a bone snapped.

But it didn't hurt, not really. You were too numb by now.

You felt the ground shook as something heavy impacted. Four times. Followed by loud, gutteral animalistic growls of a titan.

Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.

One. Two. Three. Four.

But it was the sharp metallic sound of a sword clanging was what woke you up.

Your eyes opened and you saw steam.

Ah. Were the titans dead?

But who killed them?

Your head turned sheepishly and you found the answer.

There was Levi, staring at you with wide, wide eyes, mouth slightly parted. His swords were discarded by his side and he just stood there. Was his hands shaking?

Oh, that's funny. That's the first ever time you've seen captain react that much. He looked funny with such big eyes. Was it because of how filthy you were? You couldn't see yourself, but you knew. You must've been caked in blood and mud. Is that why captain was so shocked?

Your mind was so fuzzy, you wanted to go to sleep. Would the captain mind if you fell asleep here? In this filth?

Levi finally registered the sight. He shifted, still in a daze, and then he dropped, straddling you. Careful enough to not let any of his body weight touch you.

He looked so scared.

"Shit." He muttered. "Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Oi brat—" His hands closed around your arms, shaking you. Your brain felt as if it rattled in your head. "Fuck–can you hear me?"

His hand pressed against your face and he flinched at how cold you were. You only stared at him through half-lidded eyes.

Then, weakly, with all you had, you parted your lips, the words barely audible.

"...welcome to the party, captain. Bit late though I'm afraid." You mumbled. "You do realize shaking me doesn't actually help, don't you? Unless you want me to throw up or something."

Levi felt his heart hitch.

"You little shit–" he took a sharp breath. Then slowly, carefully, he slightly shifted you holding your hair back to inspect how bad the damage was, and it wasn't a pretty sight.

"I'm a goner, aren't I?" you muttered quietly, wincing when one of his fingers accidentally grazed against the injury. Levi immediately pulled his hand back, his hand stained red.

"Shut up." He hissed, trying to keep his growing anxiety from showing. "You're bleeding like shit. Thats way too much blood."

"I'm aware, can't help it." you groaned when your leg moved a bit too much, "Got it on your clothes too."

"I could care fuck less about it right now, you dumbfuck." Levi snapped out. The he shifted off of you, kneeling beside. He unhooked the green cloak around him with fast fingers. The green surface was smeared with dark red in places.

Carefully, he pulled you up by the shoulders, cradling you against his chest. You almost cried at the sudden feeling of warmth, and the sharp wave of pain that shot through your bent leg. Tears stinged your eyes. "Bite me. I knew you cared." You joked, an attempt to lighten the dire situation and to ignore the way your whole body ached and how you already felt the lack of oxygen in the air. Levi let out an irritated breath as he used the cloak to wrap around your head to stop the bleeding. His breathing loud and heavy beside your ear. "Can you shut up, you ungrateful brat? I'm trying to save your damn life."

Levi worked so gently, it was unfamiliar. You wondered as your head rested on his shoulder and his hands worked around you, every movement slow and careful, trying his best not to hurt you more.

Ah, so even the harsh captain can be this gentle. And despite emptiness clouding your head, you felt slightly glad. At least you got to see this side of him. This is a nice way to die.

As if he had somehow heard your thoughts, his jaw tightened. "Don't even think about dying. That's a fucking order."

If only the world worked like that.

Levi knew he wasn't doing a good job. His hands shook too much, and it was causing you unnecessary pain. He froze everytime you winced, taking a few seconds until you stilled, then continuing. He was also aware of how dirty the fabric was, with dirt and mud, but this'd have to. It's either this or watching you bleed out to death.

"Okay," he whispered quietly under his breath, more to reassure himself than you. He turned you so he could see your face. An absolutely panic stricken look passes him when he sees the tears. "Fuck, Did I hurt you too much? Does it still hurt?"

You sniffled, mouth twitching to a grin. You tried to ignore the pounding in your head. "It's not your fault. You didn't do anything."

Levi nodded, his eyes shifting to your shoulder. "How the fuck did this even happen?" He hissed sharply, seeing the metal anchor buried deep in the flesh. "Even when you get injured, it's in the stupidest ways possible." He thought about it for a second, biting the insides of his cheek. Unsure what to do. Then he sighed. "Shit. It's best to let it stay there. If I try to pull it out, might accidentally tear something. And the bleeding would be too much to handle."

"Nice." You groaned, then all of a sudden, broke into a fit of coughs, blood spilling out with each jolt. Levi's eyes widened at the sight, pupils blown out.

"The titans." You coughed, trying to explain. "Must've fucked up my insides. The grip was too tight."

Levi frustratedly ran a hand through his hair, uncaring of the grime and filth. His face screwed up and eyebrows knitted together, the fear in his eyes wide and clear. Internal bleeding was much, much concerning.

"Captain," the word was a groan. Your eyes were so heavy, begging to go to rest. Would that be so bad? "...I don't think I can make this one out. I'm dying, aren't I?"

"No you're not. But if you don't stop talking, I might actually make you a goner." Levi deadpanned while going over your leg. You snorted, the slight action paining you. But it was nice. With him fussing over.

"Come on, we gotta get you back-hey–" he slapped your cheek, seeing your eyes flutter. Gentle but sharp. "Don't pass out, kid. Better keep those damn eyes open. Stay awake. Stay the fuck awake, you hear me?"

His fingers fiddled with your uniform straps, removing the gas tanks and the overall gears. He had to cut down the wire that stuck with hook that was latched to your shoulder since he couldn't take it out. The removal of the extra weight made you feel slightly better.

"Alright," Cautiously, he hooked one arm over your shoulder, the other under your knees. "Brace yourself, this is going to hurt as fuck." Then, though carefully, with one sweep pull, he picked you up. And despite his warning, and the mental preparation, he was right. It hurt like shit. A soft cry escaped your lips. "I'm sorry, just–just hang on." He mumbled, cradling you close to him, adjusting your head so that it rested against his shoulder. He knew it wasn't the most ideal position as it'd be hard for him to move with ODM while holding you like this, not to mention your leg would not probably be in the best state either. But he couldn't think of a better position, your head needed support, he couldn't let any weight on your abdominal muscles either.

Then without moving his arms from beneath you, he reached for the ODM triggers with his hands and pressed his fingers down.

The takeoff was the final push. The jolt as he kicked off the ground and the pain that followed right after was the limit. You knew you were going to die.

"You pretend like you don't give two shits, but you're going to miss me once I'm gone aren't you?" The words escaped you without thinking. You weren't really thinking at all, it's just this urge that took over. But if you're going to die, you wanted to keep talking. You wanted to hear his voice. You wanted him to scowl and snap at you to shut up. So until you can't, you wanted to keep talking. One last bicker. Never in your life had you thought he'd be the one to hear your last words or that his ones would be the last you'd hear. And you didn't mind. At all.

"Fuck off." He responded coldly.

"I'm serious."

"You're serious? Now that's a shocker."

There he went, from one tree to another. You grinned, looking up at his contorted face. He was trying so hard not to panic, his eyes flicking from you to the route.

"Captain."

"Can't you just keep your mouth shut for once in your fucking life?"

"Said life's on the verge of death, so I'd rather not."

"Stop saying shit like that. You're not dying on me."

You sighed. He was wrong. You were indeed dying on him. Despite the warmth of his body pressed against you, you could feel your own temperature lowering dangerously. The cloak he had used as a makeshift bandage to stop the bleeding weren't helping much better either as you felt blood trickle over your eyes. You felt weak, dizzy, disassociated. You could barely remember where you are and where you're going.

"Captain. Thank you for choosing me."

"What?" Levi's eyes shifted towards you, surprised and confused. It was such a strange sight. The bangs he so carefully kept were now all messy and disheveled, some strands sticking to his face with sweat. You returned his silvery gaze.

"Thank you for choosing me. Letting me be a part of your squad. Saving my ass everytime I fucked up. For everything, really. You weren't the nicest, but you have a good heart. And I'm not the best at expressing gratitude but I had to let you know."

"Shut up." Levi hissed through gritted teeth, his voice cracked ever so slightly. The rain had lessened into a drizzle.

"Once I'm gone, there won't be anyone to nag you to go to sleep. Remember to take breaks, won't you?"

Levi wouldn't look at you. He couldn't look at you. But his hold tightened. "Shut the fuck up. Keep talking and I'll drop you." Oh, but you had to keep talking. Your breaths were numbered you could tell. And you wanted to spend them on talking.

"And hydrate. Don't drink too much tea. Stop being mean to Hange and Eren. Let Sasha eat, don't ban her from meals when she fucks up.." the words slurred, your voice becoming quieter with every words and each were punctuated with heavy and heavier gasps. Your eyes closed. The light was too bright for you. And blood was pooling inside your mouth, choking you. "..they care for you. I hope you know that. So be nice every once a while. It won't kill you I swear."

Levi sucked in a breath. "Oi, brat." His voice was so far, so far away. You wanted to reach out and hold on to it, somehow wrap yourself around it. So unlike the usual stoic and dry comments he'd send through your way.. "...I take it back. Don't shut up. Keep talking. Keep blabbering whatever the fuck- Don't die on me, not like this–shit–not like this—" Guess he did care after all. "—stay with me, come on, stay with me.–"

You were fading. Drowning. Floating. But you heard him. His words a broken record, repeating over and over in your brain—staywithmestaywithmestaywithme…

You apologized silently. You would if you could. But the air was choking you and you couldn't stay any longer. You'd stay with his mean ass for life if you had the choice, didn't he know? Didn't he know you dedicated your heart for him?

Oh. Time's out.

Goodbye.

Captain.

(might write a part 2 lol)

#attack on Titan x reader #aot x reader #snk x reader #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #levi angst #aot angst #levi Ackerman x reader #levi x reader #snk angst #levi ackerman angst

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seeingivy · 3 months ago

Text

brutal

eren jaeger x f!reader

**part of my canary mate fic

previous part linked here

[busstopbilly]: My song recommendation for the day is brutal by Olivia Rodrigo.

[lizontopoftheworld]: i beg ur pardon….

[lizontopoftheworld]: first of all. CRAZY choice for 7:47 am. who hurt you?

[busstopbilly]: Car troubles.

[lizontopoftheworld]: second. how do u know this song…. do u talk to other girls….

[busstopbilly]: Does my little sister count? She’s the one who told me about the song.

[lizontopoftheworld]: ok period never mind. so she’s basically a real one for 1. listening and 2. putting you on

[busstopbilly]: Would it bother you if I did?

[busstopbilly]: Talk to other girls?

[busstopbilly]: :)

that was always the line that the two of you toed. on a day to day basis – making jokes about the one thing that you never seemed to talk about.

that things, at least on your end, felt dangerously real at times. that when someone at the bar asked you if you were seeing anyone, your first thought would always be yes. because it felt wrong to say no.

you were convinced that if you knew him in person, he’d be your boyfriend.

[lizontopoftheworld]: DO YOU?

[busstopbilly]: I can say it again. Would it bother you if I did?

[lizontopoftheworld]: tbh wait

[lizontopoftheworld]: you’re obviously your own person. i was obviously just joking AND if you are talking to someone else it wouldn’t bother me. that doesn’t affect the fact that we’re friends and talk to each other here and there AND i would be very happy for you if you did because you deserve it

that was the other thing. anonymity always presented a certain fear. that one day, he would stop responding.

and that he’d be lost to you forever because you’d never be able to find him again. no identifying features, a vague username, and the conversations left as a reminder.

[busstopbilly]: Wow. It usually takes the 3 o’clock slump to get you rambling about how we as people are deserving of the good, honest love. What gives?

[busstopbilly]: For what it’s worth, no, I do not talk to other girls. Besides my sister and my mom, obviously.

[lizontopoftheworld]: YIPEEEEEE

[busstopbilly]: What happened to “that wouldn’t bother me”?

[lizontopoftheworld]: ….next question.

[lizontopoftheworld]: your sister seems cool. can i meet her someday?

[busstopbilly]: Hilarious.

[busstopbilly]: Yes, you can.

you’re thrown out of the conversation by three consecutive honks – and sasha waving her arm out the car door – as you shoot one last message.

[lizontopoftheworld]: my ride is here! have a great day billy boy :D

you close your phone as you climb into sasha’s car, noting the two iced coffee cups in the holder, as you shoot her a smile.

sasha offers to drop you off at the hospital on the way to the lab.

it’s something that she does often – suggest that you run errands with her, study with her at the cafe, walk together to the lab. there’s moments where you feel bad about it, that she dictates the friendship so much, because you’re never one to suggest it at first.

it’s not your fault that this aspect of friendship felt like it was foreign to you. or that it seemed like something you’d never be able to overcome.

you didn’t grow up with friends that functioned like family. they always felt more transactional – though that was almost by design, on your part.

“good morning sash.”

“nico made you a coffee!”

you smile.

“awful kind of him.”

sasha gives you a smile as she hunches over the wheel, looking over her shoulder, as she turns on to the street.

“he just feels bad about the party you know…when he…”

“threw up all over my shoes? yeah. i recall.”

“he’s sorry! and he made you a sweet iced hazelnut coffee to make up for it.”

you smile, shaking your head as you reach for the aux cord in her car.

sasha had a penchant for being indecisive, a little bit too stuck in the situation sometimes, down to the details. you knew deep down that niccolo probably didn’t care much about the vomit and hadn’t thought about it since – and that she was trying to save imaginary face by gifting you a coffee in his name.

it was hard for her to participate in things normally, in her words, with people who felt like they were high stakes.

it was one of the reasons that she loved to hang out with you. she said it was easy to tell that you didn’t care much about that type of thing in the first place.

you wondered if it was a compliment – that you were so palatable to people’s taste. or a comment on how you felt so adaptable that there was nothing rigid or cemented about your personality to warrant a second thought.

“oh wait. this is an olivia rodrigo song right?” sasha asks.

“yeah.”

“aren’t her songs like…like really sad?”

“i guess. a good amount of them are.”

“i hate sad music. it just makes me so….so…”

you try not to laugh.

“sad?”

sasha rolls her eyes.

“you know what i mean. i listen to the song and then i start thinking about how i relate to it. and then i start wallowing.” sasha comments.

“i do that too.”

“god, isn’t it such a waste of time? sometimes it’s like…so overwhelming that it takes over my entire day. i can’t do anything but sit there and just feel it all.”

and there was the key difference between you and sasha. it always made itself apparent, in almost every interaction that you had with her, but it said more about the way your rotten mind was wired to work, than her temperament.

she seemed to repel the idea of sadness. you wallowed in it.

it was something that you thought about often when you looked at sasha. when you looked at yourself in the mirror. that her smile seemed to fit perfectly on her face – bright brown eyes that lit up whenever she talked, two dimples that were always visible on her cheeks, and an infectious smile.

sometimes you felt like light didn’t fully reach the center of your eyes. that your smile didn’t look right on your face – that it did, but it just didn’t look like hers. infectious. encouraging and warm.

that sadness sat in all of your wrinkles and lines and that it was there to stay. that no matter how you tried, it would always be there.

“yeah. i’ll change it. bad start to the morning.” you state.

“plus, you need all the luck you can get.”

you groan.

“don’t remind me please.”

eren didn’t seem too happy to have you involved in his project. and that made two of you.

you could appreciate that he was organized – scheduling mandatory meetings a week in advance, letting you bring his undergrad since he was bringing his – and never sparing you a second glance beside it.

what you couldn’t appreciate was that he didn’t seem to want your help at all. you understand why it was warranted, especially for someone like him. you knew for a fact that he would have zero shred of bedside manner, no way to interact with patients that was sensitive or appropriate – since he couldn’t even seem to do it with normal people.

making comments about jean and sasha, refusing to talk to anyone besides levi and hange at dinners, being so arrogant about the entire thing that he thought he was above it.

you wonder how him and grisha jaeger were even related.

you reach for the coffee, trying to banish the thought and the impending irritation that arose from the thought of both of them combined, just for it to consequently spill all over your top.

“oh my god.”

one of the ice cubes slithers all the way down the bottom of your shirt, landing in your lap, as you miserably eye the horrendous dark brown stain coating your white button up shirt. it sends a wave of goosebumps down your skin – the stickiness of the syrup and the ice cold liquid, as you can’t help but groan.

sometimes it felt like these types of things only happened to you.

“sasha.”

“he must have not closed the lid properly. he didn’t do it on purpose!”

you turn to glare at her.

“i mean, obviously not. do you have napkins? or a spare shirt by the grace of god?”

“napkins are in front in the glove box. and no…niccolo just took all my shirts out the other day so he could wash them.”

you give her a wry smile.

“of course he did.” you joke.

“i swear to god. he didn’t mean it!”

the napkins do little to fix the mark – except smear it farther across the fabric – as you give her a dry laugh.

“i know. relax.”

“you’re not mad right?”

“no. just anticipating some comment from eren about dress code and professionalism, that’s all. if anything, that makes my entire thing easier since he can’t pick on something else i was doing wrong that i was seemingly blissfully unaware of.”

you give up after two minutes of dabbing, most of the wetness drained from the shirt and the stick gone from your sing, as you turn to sasha.

“what are you going to work on today?”

“mikasa’s project. well mine, but hers, you know?”

“yeah. does she at least seem excited about it?”

“i mean, it’s insane experience to have as a project lead. i don’t know why she wouldn’t get in the next time.”

“that’s true. plus, six spots and none of the people in the program are affiliated with the lab so, she has a good shot.”

“i just hope she gets it. i would end up on the news if i got rejected as second time after putting in all that work.”

sasha rolls right up to the front of the hospital – and you note that she awkwardly eyes the stain – as you give her a smile. you can see eren sitting at the front bench, gabi and falco sitting by his side, as you swallow down the contempt in your mouth.

you clear your throat, catching all of their attention, as you note all of their expressions. gabi and falco have a total pinch of pity in both of their eyes and eren just looks irritated as they eye the stain.

“you have to be kidding, right?” eren asks.

“sasha drove me here and her…boyfriend didn’t put the lid on the coffee properly. it’s not my fault.”

“do you have another shirt?” eren asks.

“obviously not. you think i’d show my face before his excellency without it?” you ask.

that earns you a laugh from falco and gabi, who you turn to give a smile to, before looking back to eren. he rolls his eyes, making a dramatic show of pinching the bridge of his nose, as he digs into his pocket.

“this is your badge. maybe we can get you one of those bright pink shirts from the gift shop.”

“eren. don’t be a dick. just give her your shirt.” gabi states.

erwin had decided to pair gabi with eren and falco with you, just based on compatibility and interests, and it was one of the reasons that you had utter faith in erwin as a leader.

gabi had a penchant to keep eren on his toes. she wasn’t exactly afraid of his bitter personality, but instead, very eager to win him over.

it reminded you of when you first met eren and thought you could do the same. though unlike gabi, you quickly decided that it was a lost cause.

“what?”

“you’re wearing an undershirt, aren’t you? just give her the button up.” gabi states.

“gabi. wearing a short sleeved t-shirt here isn’t exactly professional.” eren responds.

“you know what’s even more unprofessional? letting one of your team members look bad when you can help them. no offense, y/n.”

you smile.

“none taken.”

“they’re going to give us white coats that’ll cover up your arms. but it won’t cover up the stain, so just be a gentleman, and give her your shirt.” gabi states.

eren gives her a menacing glare – though you think that he just looks like that, that it can’t intentionally be by design to look so hateful all the time – while he ponders the thought. he must have a soft spot for gabi or something, probably something that reminds him of the sister you’ve heard briefly about, as he reaches down and starts unbuttoning his shirt.

“falco, gabi. go check in at the desk at the front.”

you watch as the two of them scuttle off, giggling under their breaths as they run through the round-a-bout doors. you turn to eren, who hands you the shirt, as you shoot him a smile.

“thank you, eren. i really appreciate it.”

“next time, anticipate being prepared.”

you roll your eyes. was it impossible for him to be polite?

“do you want me to carry a spare of every article of clothing for me in the off chance that i spill something on myself?”

“off chance is a little kind. it literally happened just now.” eren mutters.

you bite down on your cheek as you put his shirt on, tucking in the excess fabric into your pants. you unclip his badge from the shirt and hand it over to him, as the two of you join falco and gabi at the elevators.

eren clears his throat as the four of you enter the elevator, shooting gabi a look, as she drops her conversation. you turn to falco and give him an eye roll – your frustrations with eren well known to him – as falco steps back and joins you.

“gabi. what’s a lesion?”

“areas of damaged brain tissue. all the patients we’re seeing today got their brain lesions from injuries that they got, but you can also get lesions from certain diseases.” gabi repeats.

you hate that eren does this. makes her learn through fear of disappointing him. falco told you that she spent all of her free time outside of the fellowship memorizing as much as she could to make sure that she would get all of his questions right.

“what region are we looking at today?” eren asks.

“hippocampus this week. amygdala next week, but there’s a focus on the temporal lobe.”

you spare yourself as you tap falco on the shoulder, lowering your voice.

“how’s your brother doing?”

falco gives you a shrug, as you reach forward and squeeze his shoulder. two week ago, you gave him the entire week off because his brother got into a car accident – and from what levi had told you, he had yet to recover.

“same old.”

“if you need anything, can you let me know?” you ask.

falco awkwardly reaches for the back of his neck, pushing down the ends of his hair, as you exit the elevator.

“i’ll let you know, okay?”

you give him a nod as you catch up to eren and gabi, the two of them holding out the white coats to you as you pull them on and walk into the briefing meeting.

the day goes well for the most part. you’re counting your lucky stars through the training that it’s mostly basic procedures, sanitation rules and the such, and you’re just going through the motions.

it goes well for the most part, until the very end. and it’s almost like you can anticipate it – eren having a horrible interaction with someone that would put you off – that it’s almost laughable.

you interact with one patient at the end of the day, just to screen if they wanted to participate in eren’s study. and of course, he has to push the limits and ask a question that goes too far.

it just bothers you that it was gabi on the chopping block.

“okay, the patient’s name is gabriela alvarez. she’s from the area, she got injured in a motor cycle accident. her family isn’t here since they all had work, so it’ll just be her. we’re just going to walk in, ask her if she wants to participate in the study, and then fill out screening forms. if she declines, we’ll just leave.”

you all give him a nod.

“gabi. what is it?” eren asks.

“what? nothing.” gabi responds.

“you made a face when i just said that. is there a problem?” eren asks.

you hate the tone. he could have just asked her if something was wrong – not insinuating that she had a problem.

“no, eren. i’m good. i’ve just never done this before.” gabi states.

“don’t worry. that’s why y/n and falco are here. they have experience with this type of thing.” eren states.

you and falco turn towards gabi, giving her a smile.

“we can lead for this one if you wanted? just so you could see how it goes?” you ask.

gabi shakes her head, immediately turned off by the thought, as she gives you both a halfhearted smile back.

“no, no. i got it, i’m here for a reason.”

you swallow down the retort as the group of you walk in. that her not taking the lead wouldn’t insinuate that she wasn’t meant to be here. that she could learn without being put on the spot.

despite the fact, eren seems to lead the entire thing. gabi doesn’t have to worry about talking, because eren barely lets her get a word in – with a prerehearsed spiel you’re convinced he practiced in the mirror.

“we would really appreciate if you could participate in the study. it’s totally optional, but it would really help us better understand the nature of the injury and help other people in the future.” eren finishes.

arrogance.

the lady’s barely forty years old, a kind smile like sasha’s – sweetness that melted into her skin – and it made your chest pang that she seemed confused. sitting in a hospital room, alone. listening to people like eren jabber all day, with no one to consult or talk to for advice.

and there’s silence, an awkward silence where she’s supposed to respond, and after the fact, she turns to look at gabi.

“you guys would take my information?” she asks.

“it’s all removed when we analyze it.” gabi offers.

“but…but there would be record of all my information and such that i did it?”

gabi sighs.

“no one can have access to it. it’s just so that we note down who did the experiment, that the results weren’t falsified.”

gabriella seemes turned off by the idea entirely, shaking her head.

“i would love to help, but…but you know i can’t.”

you watch as she bores her eyes into gabi’s – and shockingly enough – that she reaches forward and grabs her hand.

“i know. i’ll talk to them about it. i’ll see you later, okay?” she murmurs, quiet enough that you can barely hear it.

eren turns to you, giving you a questioning look, as you shrug. the four of you subsequently leave the room and eren doesn’t waste a single second in the hallway.

“do you know her?” eren asks.

gabi gives him a nod, barely meeting his eye.

“yeah. yeah, she’s friends with my mom. they’ve known each other for a while.”

“so you know why she won’t do it?” eren asks.

you nudge him in the side.

“you can’t coerce people into participating, eren.” you note.

“i’m not coercing her. i just want to know so that we can keep it in mind for future patients. change up how i market the entire thing. why won’t she do it?” eren asks.

you watch as gabi gives him a nervous look, eyes flickering in between him and falco, as she scrunches up her shoulders.

“gabi. you obviously don’t have to answer. don’t feel the need to share anything too personal.” you offer.

gabi gives you a smile before turning back to eren and it’s almost like you can see it in her face. that she’s folding.

“she met my mom through the church that we go to. she also gave my mom a contact for an agent that can help her apply for...citizenship. she’s undocumented, like my mom is, and that’s why she won’t do it. if the reviewers look into the validity of the study and look into her status, she…”

“they wouldn’t do that.” eren offers, voice almost quiet.

gabi sighs. you swear there’s a glistening sheen in her eyes.

“i know. but she doesn’t know that. there’s a fear that comes with this type of thing and…”

it hits a nerve. it hits a nerve and you think it’s horrible – you think eren’s horrendous for putting her on the spot like that, for questioning her further – and you hate him for it.

“okay, gabi. well, we’re done for the day anyways, so do you want to go get the car?” eren asks, holding the keys out in front of her.

she gives eren a smile, as she nods and takes them from him. you turn to falco, giving him a beckon to follow her, as he shoots you a grateful smile and speed walks behind her. the two of you watch as they wave from behind the elevator, before you note the empty hallway, and turn back to eren.

“you’re an asshole.” you state.

eren looks up from the file in his hand, eyes wide, as he looks up at you.

“i beg your pardon?”

“i know you heard me. you’re an asshole. you had no right to push her into sharing something that was obviously personal for her. and you have no right to be so hard on her all the time.”

eren flips the folder shut, tucking it under his elbow, as he digs his hands into the pockets of his white coat. you can tell that he’s irritated – that he can’t hide the malice in his eyes – and it drives you insane.

that he still has the audacity to be mad.

“i’m hard on her?” he asks.

“of course you’re hard on her. she spends all of her free time memorizing useless facts that teach her shit about what it’s like to do research. you should be supporting her, asking her questions that encourage her to explore what it is that we’re doing on our own, why we made the experiment the way that we did. you have to know that this does nothing for her.”

eren rolls her eyes.

“and you want me to do what? coddle her like you coddle falco?”

“excuse me?”

“you don’t need to walk him through every line of code that he writes. he can find articles to read and explore on his own, you’re setting him up with bad expectations that he’s going to find easy help when he has to do this on his own.”

“is there something so wrong with that? getting help? god forbid i give him a good foundation on the things he has to know before putting him in the deep end.”

eren rolls his eyes.

“being helpless is how you learn.”

you glare at him.

“you might get off on that type of thing, but i certainly don’t.”

“what type of thing?”

you sigh, balling your fists at your side, as you try to stop your voice from wavering.

“she’s been trying to vye for your approval since she met you – and…and you kept asking. you made her feel like she had to give that to you, so that she could get points. it’s cruel and senseless, using something like that against someone. especially when it’s something…a situation that’s so foreign to you. you have no idea what it’s like to struggle like that. and on top of that, you’re going to be an asshole and make her get your car? so yeah, you get off on that type of thing. acting like you’re better than people, like you have a right to know, because you’re important.”

eren sighs.

“and what makes you think i didn’t know already?” eren asks.

“what?”

“i know you heard me. what makes you think that i didn’t know already? because gabi actually told me one of the first days that she got here. i’ve known for some time because she’s actually trusted me enough to tell me – not because i cornered her into it for brownie points.”

eren seems to lean closer, looming over you as he looks down at you.

“i don’t coddle gabi, because that’s something that doesn’t motivate her. the same way it’s something that doesn’t motivate you. i know damn well from the way you look at sasha and hange, hange and annie, that you think that it’s something you want. being buddy buddy the way hange is with us. but i’ve known from the second i met you, that you live for that type of thing. proving yourself, having to work for someone’s approval, because it won’t motivate you otherwise, the same way it won’t motivate gabi. there’s a reason that you got paired with levi, y/n. there’s a reason you’re so pissed off watching her work for it – because you have some insecure sense of self worth that you don’t deserve to be here and you’re scared she feels that way too.”

you swallow down the bile in your throat.

“are you watching me or something?”

“only because you irritate me just as much as i irritate you. don’t think that i don’t turn my nose up at everything you say and that i don’t notice that you do it to me too.” eren responds.

you bite so hard into your cheek that you swear you draw blood.

“are you done? how long did that one take to rehearse in the mirror?”

eren clenches his draw.

“no. i’m not the asshole that makes his undergraduate student get his car. i got a flat tire and she offered to drive me here. i had her key, because her pants don’t have pockets.” eren responds, stalking towards the elevator, as you begrudgingly follow.

it’s an awkward elevator ride down, completely silent until the ding, as the two of you walk out to the front of the hospital. the suns dipping down into the horizon, as gabi and falco lean against eren’s car, quietly talking.

you give them a wave, the two of them sitting up, as you and eren walk up to them.

“eren. can i talk to you for a second?” falco asks.

eren gives him a nod, gesturing for him to follow towards the left, as you take falco’s spot next to gabi. you eye the two of them, noting falco’s characteristically nervous hands moving rapidly as he talks to eren.

“what are they talking about?” you ask.

“falco’s going to ask eren if colt can do the trial. he has lesions…or…or falco thinks he might, he just can’t remember right.”

you look over at him.

“he isn’t getting any better is he?”

gabi shakes her head.

“falco says that colt doesn’t even remember him.”

you nod.

“listen. i wanted to talk to you about something, if…if that’s okay.”

gabi looks over at you, eyes expectant as you look down at the uneven gravel.

“my mom recently got her citizenship status. my dad’s is being processed right now and…and it’s because my brother married an immigration lawyer. she’s really good and…and she could help you. and i can cover it for you, if you need me to.” you state.

“what?”

“she is really good. i can’t promise anything but, it’s worked out well for us, if you want another opinion.”

gabi gives you a smile, cheeks almost pink as she follows your suit, staring down at the ground.

“i couldn’t let you pay for that.”

“she owes me a favor…and she’s my sister. i know we don’t know each other that well but, i…i get that this type of thing can….i don’t know.”

you pause.

“i just want you to enjoy your summer here so that you can see if research is your thing, no stress. i know it can be a lot at times.”

gabi gives you a smile.

“i’ll think about it, okay?”

“please don’t hesitate, okay?”

“i won’t.”

eren and falco trail back to the two of you – falco and gabi giving each other a smile – as you turn to look at eren.

“i want my shirt back tomorrow.” eren states, giving you a glare.

“i’ll dry clean it for you, your highness.” you respond, giving it right back.

“do you need a ride, y/n?” falco asks.

you turn to him, giving him a smile, as you nod. the two of you trail into the parking lot, as you quietly sink into falco’s passenger seat, and nearly pull at the front strands of your hair.

[lizontopoftheworld]: you gave me a bad omen.

[lizontopoftheworld]: truly is brutal out here.

[busstopbilly]: Tell me about it.

[busstopbilly]: In a shocking turn of events, the wallflower actually cussed me out today.

[lizontopoftheworld]: HELLO?

[lizontopoftheworld]: woah it’s been so long since i’ve heard about her. what gives? don’t tell me she did it again?

[bussstopbilly]: Oh, she definitely did.

[busstopbilly]: I swear to god, I despise her because she’s just like everyone else. She thinks I’m exactly like my dad. It’s almost like she makes it a point to bring it up. That I don’t understand because everything came to me easily.

[lizontopoftheworld]: you’re obviously not like your dad

[lizontopoftheworld]: you’ll be out of this thing soon

[busstopbilly]: What happened to you?

[lizontopoftheworld]: stupid idiot asshole misogynistic ugly prick

[busstopbilly]: But of course.

[busstopbilly]: If it’s any solace, he only feels the need to put you down because he knows how great you are. It wouldn’t be a thing to him – he’s purposely making it into a competition becuase he feels inferior.

[lizontopoftheworld]: i guess

[busstopbilly]: Tomorrow is another day.

[busstopbilly]: And you shouldn’t listen to sad songs when you go home.

[lizontopoftheworld[: BOOOOOOOOOO

[lizontopoftheworld]: but it’s so fun

[busstopbilly]: Maybe.

[bussstopbilly]: I just don’t want you to cry or feel like you’re defeated. I hate thinking that you’re sitting there feeling like you don’t fit in.

[lizontopoftheworld]: i don’t

[bussstopbilly]: And that’s a good thing. Research, that type of career – it’s already filled with monotony.

[busstopbilly]: You make things interesting. You’re there for a reason.

[lizontoptheworld]: you make me sound so important

[busstopbilly]: You are important. In more ways than one, obviously.

[lizontopoftheworld]: chronic flirt….

[busstopbilly]: It’s good for your health.

[lizontopoftheworld]: normal people eat vitamins. or like workout or something.

[busstopbilly]: We’re not normal people, are we?

you can’t help but smile.

[lizontopoftheworld]: no. of course not.

[busstopbilly]: :)

[busstopbilly]: You and me, Liz.

[lizontopoftheworld]: my song is ribs by lorde

[busstopbilly]: Because I’m the only friend you need?

[lizontopoftheworld]: so observant

[busstopbilly]: Eh.

[busstopbilly]: Only for you.

next chapter

an: hehe

taglist: @invisible-mori @multiplefandomthings @chericos @wheredidmycrowngo @chaoticpxnda @aizzon @stuffeddeer @butterfly-skinnylegend @najaemism @hellokitty-doll @constanciandrea @iblamesusy @jaegersdiary @f4irygard3n @misadear @fell-4-u @coyloves @sobbangchan @you-always-made-me-blush @th0tformikasa @yell0wdreams @itzmeme

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mostlymarvelsstuff · 4 months ago

Text

Moi Devochki: Chapter 10

Authors note: This is the last chapter of this series! Thank you for reading and enjoying it, and I hope the ending is satisfactory! 💖

Word count: 2320

WandaNat Masterlist Marvel Masterlist Moi Devochki Masterlist

Five Years Later:

Natashas back lays in the cool grass that's shaded by a large oak tree, and her eyes light up as she laughs at the sight before her. The pup straddling her chest bounces slightly because of this, but he doesn’t seem to mind the action. In fact he starts to giggle along with his Mama, oblivious to the fact that he was the one being laughed at.

“Look at you, you're a mess!” she exclaims as her hand comes to soothe his wild head of hair full of small twigs, leaves and some mulch, “What did you go down the slide head first or something?”

“Uh huh, was fun!” he admits with a wide smile

She glances beside her to the backyard playground where the other two toddlers are playing. Sure enough at the end of the slide is a patch of messed up mulch and his stuffed tiger lays beside it.

“You are crazy, Pietro. It’s a good thing you came to Mama to help sort you out instead of your Mom or Mommy”

“Why?” he asks as his head tilts adorably, letting a small leaf fall onto the Alphas abdomen

“Because they would have worried. Especially your Mommy.”

“Oh, m’kay” he states, likely filing that information away for future mishaps.

She chuckles at him and continues to work on cleaning him up. He behaves and sits there, letting her make him look presentable while he watches his siblings continue to play. His sister, Sasha, is working on a sandcastle in the sandbox that was recently put in after a trip to the beach. And his half sister, Lena, is swinging on her swing with her stuffed bear.

“There we go my handsome little man, all fixed up”

“Thank you Mama!” he exclaims, glancing down at her briefly before darting back off to the playground

She watches him fondly as he picks up his tiger and brushes off the debris from it as he makes his way to one of the swings next to Lena. He sticks the plush between his legs so it can swing with him and he pushes his little legs off the ground to get his momentum going. The pups all laugh and smile, and Natasha knows without a doubt that retiring and having a domestic life was absolutely what she needed to truly feel whole.

“Alpha! Pups! Lunch is ready!” Wanda suddenly calls out the back door to them

Ever the hungry one, Lena jumps up and sprints towards the house, “Did chu make macs with cheese, Mommy?”

“Lena, baby, change out of your sandy clothes and wash your hands first! Then ask Mommy questions!” the Alpha shouts out as she stops the swings for the other two, “Go wash your hands too, please.”

“Yes Mama!” they both reply before darting into the house as well

Wanda smiles as they all rush by her to do as their told, and she greets her Alpha with a kiss, “Hi love, you all looked like you were having fun”

“Hi dorogoy(sweetheart)” she replies, holding her close for a moment, “We were, them more so but I do love watching them just get to be pups”

The brunette nods in understanding, “Me too. So happy and carefree, as they should be”

The patter of small feet gains their attention and Lena bursts into the room in a mismatched outfit, “Macs with cheese Mommy?”

Wanda giggles at the small girl, “Yes honey, I made some”

“Yay!! Tank you!” she says, hugging Wanda's leg briefly before scrambling into her seat

The other two pups file into the kitchen next, and Pietros shirt clearly shows evidence of a mishap with the sink but neither of them mention it. He smiles a gap toothed grin, waiting to be given his plate as little Sasha struggles to get her chair out far enough for her to climb up on it

“Careful baby, let me help” Wanda says as she moves to do just that

“I'll go get Y/n and the little twins” Nat tells her mate before heading upstairs. She makes her way down the hall and into the large master bedroom, “Hi medovyy(honey)”

“Hi Tasha” you greet, shifting slightly in your nest

She comes over and joins you in the nest and gently cups your face, her eyes scanning the small pups by your side, “You and the pups doing ok?”

You smile at her, “We’re fine Alpha, I finished feeding them a little while ago”

“Well, Wandas just made lunch and I think it's your turn to eat now”

“Yes please” you agree, moving to pick up one of the two month old pups, “Mind carrying Scarlett downstairs?”

“Of course not” she replies, getting out of the nest and carefully taking the small pup in her arms, cradling her

You get out of the nest too, and pick up Rico cradling him similarly as you follow your mate back downstairs and into the kitchen. It warms your heart to see all the toddlers sitting at the table with their plates of mac n cheese and dino nuggets.

“Hi detka(baby)” Wanda greets, kissing your cheek while caressing the pups head, “Did they eat well?”

You nod, “Very well, they passed out almost as soon as they had enough milk”

“Good” she exclaims, taking the small pup from you, “Now you sit and start eating, Tasha and I will get them settled”

You do as you're told and sit, watching on fondly as your mates help get your littlest ones into their highchairs beside you and Wanda. Your Alpha places a gentle but loving kiss on each of their heads before grabbing your plate and Wandas. She sets them down in front of you both before grabbing her own and taking her seat.

“Thanks for making lunch baby, it looks delicious”

“No need to thank me, you were both busy with our pups, lunch was the least I could do” she replies before taking in a forkful of macaroni

After a few bites of your meal you turn towards your pup Lena, “Did you have fun outside baby?”

She nods and swallows the bite of her chicken, “Mhm, I was swingin’ the whole time”

“Tell Mom how high you were going” your Alpha encourages

“So high up! And without Mama's help!”

You smile, “Good job baby!”

Wanda looks over to her twins, “And what did you two get up to?”

“I played in the sands” Sasha tells her with an excited smile, “Made a castle”

“I didn’t go down the slide headfirst, so no worries. Just did the swings” Pietro says, winking at his Mama

You giggle as the Alpha hides her face in her hands and Wanda does her best not to smile, “Oh, well, ok then. I won’t worry.”

Nat sheepishly looks up at the Omega, “Sorry dorogoy(sweetheart)”

“Its ok Alpha, pups are a bit wild at that age. He's not hurt and that's what's important.” she smiles and looks back at the boy while he tries to shove an entire nugget into his mouth, “Besides, he's just living up to his namesake”

After lunch you, Natasha and your twins head into the living room while Wanda makes her way upstairs to put the other pups down for their afternoon nap. Your Alpha snuggles up to you on the couch as you both hold the twins, she still remembers when the other three were this small. And it seems like only yesterday she was running around like crazy trying to supply both her Omegas with their every craving, keep them sexually satisfied, take care of them and keep them safe.

You glance over at your mate and notice her pondering gaze, “What are you thinking about?”

“Just how much I love our family” she admits, “And how glad I am Wanda chose to carry more pups at a later date, because you two were a handful”

She chuckles at your fake expression of hurt, “I was not. Wanda definitely was though”

“Wanda was what?” she asks, walking through the threshold

“Y/n said you were- ”

The Alpha is cut off by your free hand cupping over her mouth, “The most beautiful Omega in all of Sokovia”

She quirks her brow at the two of you, “Now, why don’t I believe that's what was said?”

You give her your best innocent smile while Nat playfully glares at you. Wanda only shakes her head with a smile before she joins you both on the couch, snuggling into your other side.

Nat huffs and you remember your hands position and quickly move it away, “Sorry babe, couldn’t risk it”

“I’ll get you back for it later” she teases, leaning in for a gentle kiss. As soon as she pulls away Wanda's lips are taking her place, and the three of you settle down to snuggle and watch tv.

About an hour later the thudding of small footsteps down the stairs alerts you all that the pups have awoken from their short lived nap. The three scuttle into the room, trying their best to remain quiet in case the younger ones are still asleep. Once they see them sitting up in their playpen and hear them softly cooing they know they don’t have to remain silent

“Mama! Mama!” little Sasha squeals as she reaches out for your Alpha

“What's wrong baby?” She asks, picking up the girl

A large grin spreads across the pups face, “Nothins wrong, I’s excited!”

“Oh?” the Alpha says, casting both you and Wanda a look, “And why is that?”

“I did what Mommy does!” she answers, making the three of you scrunch your eyebrows in confusion

“What do you mean honey?” Wanda asks

She excitedly looks over at the Omega, “The wisps you do with your fingers!”

Wanda may not be an active Avenger anymore, but that didn’t mean she stopped using her powers. In fact she used them on quite frequently to help her with household activities, calming one of her mates down from a ptsd induced nightmare, and helping lul the pups to sleep when they needed it just to name a few things. So the pups have definitely seen her use it, and since they weren’t really old enough to fully understand they story about them and she didn’t want them confusing her magic with that of fairytale story magic the three of you decided to refer to it simply as wisps for now.

Your Omegas eyes widen slightly, “You did this?”

The three pups watch as scarlet tendrils leave her fingertips and sore into the air before they dissipate. She nods, “Mhm! Only not so big”

Natasha had anticipated the possibility of the pups inheriting powers, but she hadn’t expected it so soon. And based on Wanda's wide eyed expression, she hadn’t either.

“Well, guess that means you’ll have to start teaching her about everything so she doesn’t accidentally do anything she shouldn't”

Wanda nods in agreement with you, “And that means we need to keep an eye on Pietro too”

You move your gaze from your mate to your pups only to see that in the last few seconds the boy in question had wandered off. It doesn’t take you long to spot him though. He's next to Natasha, reaching up onto the end table to try to sneakily grab her currently unattended coffee cup. You weren’t sure why he's been so fascinated by the dark liquid lately, but a certain feline is usually pretty good at deterring his interests.

As if your thoughts had summoned her, Liho hops up on the table, making Nat turn in that direction at the sound. Before she can scold the boy Liho does it for her, slapping his hand repeatedly with her paw. He quickly withdraws in who;e pouting at the cat

“That’ll teach you.” Nat giggles, ruffling his hair, “Mamas coffee isn't for you, and I don’t know how many times you have to be told that”

“Natasha Romanoff” Wanda scolds, “I swear, if that cat of yours ever ends up using her claws on one of my precious pup hands, you and she both will become acquainted with the doghouse”

“But Mommy, we don’t haves a dog” Lena tells her with a perplexed face

“It's just an expression baby” you explain, “It means Mama and Liho will be in lots of trouble”

“And they’ll be sleeping on the old couch too” Wanda adds with a huff

Nats complexion pales, “But dorogoy(sweetheart)”

“No now, there's no need to worry Tasha” you tell her, “Liho has never used her claws, except on the cat scratch post. You have nothing to worry about. She just likes putting the pups in their place, printsessa(princess).”

Wanda melts a bit at your affectionate nickname, though you've been using it since you started sleeping with her all those years ago it never fails to make her knees weak

“I know.” she sighs, “I just don’t want them to catch her on a bad day and end up getting hurt”

“I’ll make sure to keep her claws trimmed” Nat says, before turning to her beloved cat “And you’ll behave, only smack them if they get into something they shouldn’t. And no claws. We don’t want the couch. Bad for our backs”

You smile at the one sided conversation and though things are sure to get a bit hectic with your pups having powers, you know this is where you're meant to be. A home, with your mates and pups, away from everything hectic in New York. Being a hero was fun and it gave you your mates, but being here with your family meant more than words to describe. Looking over at Wanda as she holds Sasha, you know she feels the same.

Nat seems to sense this too as she turns to look at you both, “I love you, moi devochki”

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