#yes yes sir great sir yeah ill do that

[zoriety]

A third character from the labs, Orta's direct superior Dr Monreau, and the biggest Cheyen simp to have ever existed. He is turning into a turkey in a long-term bizarre experiment, and Cheyen doesn't even consistently remember his name

[marauder-misprint]

Date

Series Masterlist

Sirius Black x Fem!Slytherin!reader

2k words

cw: fluff, mention of Walburga's A+ parenting

Dorcas watches as you pace around your dorm. You look ready for your Hogsmeade date with Sirius. Mentally? You’re a mix of freaking out and angry. You aren’t sure why you’re freaking out but you know why you’re angry. Regulus. You knew you shouldn’t be too mad at him. It was just one date and then Sirius would be in his debt for some unnamed favor. But it was going to be a wasted day. This was a sentiment you repeatedly reminded Dorcas. She was waiting for you to get out of your own head so the two of you could meet your dates outside the Great Hall. 

“Is it too late to fall mysteriously ill?” you ask, pausing your pacing momentarily. 

“Yes,” Dorcas answers curtly. “And we really should get going. They’ll be waiting for us.”

“Marlene is always waiting on you. We’re in the dungeons, remember?”

“Yes, I’m aware. But Black doesn’t need to be waiting on you.”

You make a sound that says he does. 

“He doesn’t. Come on.”

Dorcas grabs your hand and pulls you toward the door. Pandora, Barty, Evan and Regulus are all sitting in the common room. You send Regulus a death glare as Dorcas continues to drag you out of the Slytherin Dungeons. You swear you can hear Barty and Evan’s laughter through the common room door after it closes behind you. 

“So sorry we’re late,” Dorcas says, finally releasing your hand outside of the Great Hall. She kisses Marlene’s cheek. “Someone,” she gives you a pointed look, “was dragging her feet.”

You roll your eyes before giving Sirius an unapologetic look. He just smiles and throws an arm over your shoulder.

“Nervous for our date, are you?” he asks cheekily. He knows it’s not nerves.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” you grumble. 

Sirius steers you out of the castle and to the path to Hogsmeade. Dorcas and Marlene linger back, letting Sirius put some distance between them. The girls had been recruited to ensure that you at least got to Hogsmeade with Sirius. It wasn’t exactly a secret that you yelled at Regulus for saying ‘yes’ to his brother.

“So, what do you usually do in Hogsmeade?” Sirius asks. 

You shrug. “Aren’t we just going to Honeydukes and Broomsticks?”

“If that’s all you want to do. That was just supposed to get you here”

“Here,” you repeat. “Under your arm, is that where you want me?”

“It’s a nice place to have you.”

“What a line, Black…” 

“What?” he asks, cocking his head slightly. “It’s the truth. I wasn’t lying when I said that I enjoy myself when I’m around you.”

You snort a laugh as you pull out from under his arm. “Name someone you don’t enjoy yourself around.”

“My parents.”

The immediateness of the answer throws you off guard. As does the answer itself. You had heard some of the horror stories from Regulus, but you didn’t know how deep it went. Regulus seemed… fine. 

“Yeah? That was a quick answer. Want to elaborate?”

“Are we getting into the deep stuff right away?” he asks with a raised eyebrow. “We haven’t even made it to Hogsmeade yet!”

“Just curious how bad your parents actually are. Regulus only opens up so much about them.” 

If you had been looking at Sirius, you would’ve seen his face go stoney. It was one thing to talk about his parents and childhood with the Marauders; it was going to be another to discuss it with you. You knew Regulus. You were friends with him, and in Slytherin with him.

“There’s more than one reason I ran away over the summer. There’s only so much a person can take.” 

“So much of what?” 

“The abuse.”

You expect him to leave it at that and finish the walk to Hogsmeade in silence. But he doesn’t.

“The yelling. The curses. The bigotry. The goddamn blood purity mindset. I had to get out of there. And I’m not leaving him behind, if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m going to get him out of there too.” 

“I wasn’t going to-”

“It was just so spur of the moment this summer. I just snapped. I needed to breathe. And now that I can, I can help him get out.”

“Sirius-”

“I didn’t want to leave Regulus behind. He’s my brother. I hated leaving him in that house. And-”

“Sirius!” This time you interrupt him. “Are you okay?”

You reach up and wipe a tear off his cheek. He isn’t sure when he started crying. He stops walking and wipes the rest of his face on his sleeve. He chuckles but it sounds wrong. It sounds sad.

“Yeah. Yeah. I’m good. I’m fine.” He pauses to take a deep breath. “Very cheerful way to start this date, huh?” 

“‘Fraid that’s my fault, isn’t it? I asked you to elaborate.”

“And how could you know about Walburga and Orion?”

“You said it was deep stuff. I should’ve left it…”

Sirius shakes his head as you approach the small bridge to Hogsmeade. 

“Just don’t go treating me and Reg differently now that you know. He’d hate it.”

“People walk on eggshells around you?” you ask softly.

“It flips a switch and suddenly I’m back to being a child who needs taking care of.”

You laugh. “Well, you may be a child, but you certainly don’t need taking care of.”

“Oh, if you want to see a child…” Sirius says, a happier look returning to his face, “then we should start at Honeydukes.”

“Lead the way, Black,” you say rather nonchalantly.

He grabs your hand and pulls you through the village toward the sweets shop. Once inside, you understood fully what he meant. He flits around the store like a hummingbird, never at one stand for too long, but soon enough, he has his arms full of candy. You followed him around and picked out your own treats. As promised, he buys everything you picked out.

“Black family fortune,” he says casually as he hands several galleons to the shopkeeper. 

“Would you mind if we went to Scrivenshaft’s?” you ask Sirius.

“Anywhere you want to go, we’re going.”

You smile and this time you lead him to the store. He holds your bag of candy as you wander the quill shop. He diligently follows you and listens to you ramble on about the pros and cons of different quills, which tip types you preferred and which feathers you thought were the prettiest. After you picked a gorgeous set that came with a fresh ink pot, Sirius insists on paying again. 

“You’ll be using them to write to me over Christmas. It’s the least I can do.”

You roll your eyes but oblige him. Could you really complain about not having to spend your own money? Sirius saw it as a win that you didn’t retort with something about not writing to him. Maybe you were warming up to the idea of him. Maybe he was converting you to a Sirius Person.

Once you leave that store, you and Sirius make your way to the Three Broomsticks. Your conversation is lighthearted and teasing. He asks about your family, which is quite different from his. You tell him about your mother’s disdain for pets. You talk about what careers you’re thinking about for after Hogwarts. You talk about his life at the Potters’. 

“So James’ parents… They don’t mind Padfoot?” you ask with your butterbeer in hand. 

“As long as I clean up after him,” Sirius says, which he tells himself isn’t a complete lie. 

Effie and Monty didn’t really know about the animagus forms of the teenages in their home. Any mess the boys made in their animagus forms could easily be a mess they made in their human forms. They never got too irritated with the boys as long as they helped clean up. The Potters liked animals but thought pets required too much time and energy. And James had never asked for one growing up. Sirius was certain that if James had, the Potters would have had a pet. 

“There is one thing I’d like to know,” Sirius says semi-cautiously as you work through your third butterbeer. 

“Shoot.”

“Do you think I’m attractive?”

You choke on the butterbeer you had just sipped as he asked his question. Your mug slams into the table loudly. You’re coughing. All Sirius can do is look at you concerned. 

“Excuse… me?” you manage to rasp between coughs. 

“Regulus said…” Sirius says quietly as if regretting bringing it up.

You squeeze your eyes and take a cautious sip of your drink in an attempt to soothe your burning throat. 

“You’re asking if I think…” you say after a moment. 

“If you think I’m attractive. Pretty. Handsome. Dashing. Ravishing?” 

“You’re quite forward, you know that?”

“That’s not what I asked.”

You shake your head in disbelief. Embarrassment floods your features as you realize that he might interpret that as you saying he wasn’t attractive.

“I don’t want to feed your ego,” you say quickly. Then you sigh defeatedly. “Yes, you’re attractive, Sirius. I don’t think you need me to tell you that though.”

“Oh, but it’s so nice to hear it coming from you.”

“I’m sure it is.” You pause as a deep blush covers your face. “Regulus told you?”

Sirius laughs. “Yeah. He said that you think I’m pretty and then threatened to murder me if I hurt you.”

“How nice of him to warn you.”

“Let’s be honest. He didn’t need to threaten me. It was understood when you made me get his permission.”

“I wouldn’t call it permission. He just had to think it’d be a good idea. Which I’m unsure if he actually thinks it is.”

“It’s permission,” Sirius asserts. “If he had said no, we wouldn’t be here.”

You hum. “And what a shame that would be.”

“It would be,” he says solemnly with a nod. “This has been a lot of fun. Genuinely.”

“It wasn’t as horrible as I was expecting.”

“I told you it wouldn’t be.”

You roll your eyes. “You could still ruin it.”

“Hmm, don’t think I will though. I like being right.”

“As do I.”

“You’ll just have to be wrong this time, darling.”

You raise your mug in a toast and take a drink. Sirius mirrors you. He asks you about an essay Professor Flitwick assigned earlier in the week and the conversation begins to flow into light topics again. After you finish your mugs of butterbeer, Sirius pays and you head out of the pub. He walks you back to the castle and you’re half expecting him to try to kiss you. You know his reputation. He doesn’t until you’re at the Grand Staircase and about to split ways, but it isn’t in the way you were expecting. 

“Good night, lovely,” he says before he gently presses his lips to your knuckles. “I truly had a lovely time tonight.”

Then he drops your hand and turns toward Gryffindor Tower. You’re left to stand in utter shock for a moment. Then you turn and slowly walk to the dungeons. Once back at the dungeons, you avoid all of your friends. They watch in slight confusion as you book it to your dorm rather than collapsing on the couch to complain to Regulus. You essentially go straight to bed and close the curtains around you. Your head is spinning. You hadn’t hated the date with Sirius. It was pleasant and, god forbid, fun. You couldn’t figure out if it was just friendly fun or something more though. 

Regulus’ intention of you figuring out how you felt about his brother on this date didn’t go quite as planned. If anything, you were more confused about your feelings for him than before. And you had to debate with yourself if you wanted a second date with Sirius to figure it out or if you should just tell everyone it was fine and you survived and that was it. You knew which was your gut was leaning, but you didn’t want to accept it. 

tags: @2dloveshp, @yearninglustfully, @made-for-oliverwood, @ilovejamespottersomuch, @hisparentsgallerryy, @itsseaberri, @corawithfanfiction, @devilslittlehelper, @jllyunn, @barnes70stark,

tags: @crowleythesexydemon, @flow33didontsmoke, @navs-bhat, @louweenier, @l0g0phobe,

@ellouisa17, @theendofthematerialgworl, @marina468, @bmyva1entine, @ravisinghs-wife

my brain hurts and I'm blaming the stress from visiting my parents for Christmas

[the-undeadwriter]

haiiiii if your requests are open could you please write something for the batfam with a he/they reader who's vigilante name is ghost, and who's going through a chronic pain flare up and feels bad about not being able to go out on patrol for a while, and have the rest of the batfam being really comforting and nice about it

ill love you forever

-🦈🔆 (so i can find this later)

Hi yes hello!!! Thank you for the request, hope I did it justice mwah

Requests are open!!

Warnings: mentions of medication! Brief mention of overdosing(once), Reader is masc, reader is a vigilante called ghost, general chronic pain discomfort, a few thought of feeling inadequate due to chronic pain… possibly ooc? Most of this was written before I went to sleep, spelling mistakes

Word count; 1,749 (!!)

Enjoy!

In your defence, you didn’t think it would be this bad.

Yes, you’d spent the past few days feeling shitty, taking as much pain medicine as you possibly could without overdosing or raising concern. Yeah, you’ve had to take so many breaks doing the simple things you love that you usually wouldn’t need to take, but you were sure you’d be okay to patrol tonight!

And, like you expected, you had felt fine before patrol. You suited up fine, double checked your gear and comms, started patrol…

It’s about thirty minutes into patrol that things start to go wrong.

Oracle had buzzed into your earpiece, voice firm and calm as she spoke into her mic. “Ghost, there’s a situation near you. A potential robbery. Think you can handle it?”

And, considering how close you were, it’d be silly if you didn’t try to do something. Isn’t that why you started doing this?

You’ve already changed course when you answer oracle, jumping from the roof to roof as quickly as you could. “Got it, on my way now.”

You hear a breath of relief on her end before the comms cut off again and you can hear the sounds of Gotham’s late night activities all around you as you hop off a roof across from the bank where this supposed robbery was taking place.

It’s easy to find a way in. It’s easy to find the group of two face goons who had been tasked with this crime. It’s easy to take them down.

Until it’s not.

Maybe you landed badly. Maybe the pain meds you’d taken hadn’t worked. But someway, somehow, things had started to go wrong.

You manage to take down the thugs, and you can’t help but feel frustrated at yourself as you open the comms line again. “Robbery’s been stopped, police are on the way. I…” You suck in a deep breath, leaning against your the closest wall. “I’m gonna cut patrol short tonight, Oracle. Pain flare up.”

A sigh. “Go home, Ghost. I’ll notify B.” You can’t handle the concern in her voice.

You mumble a quiet thanks before shutting off your communicator and pulling out your grappling gun and aiming for the skylight.

As you fly over the city, wind whipping past your face, you can’t help but huff. You swore that you could handle this. You told Bruce that you could patrol tonight. And now…

You reach to batcave quickly, at least.

Alfred is waiting for you, with a tray of refreshments and medicine. “Ah, Master [Name], I heard tonight wasn’t treating you well?” You groan, moving to sit on the closest thing— this being the large chair situated by the bat computer.

As Alfred sets down the tray beside you, he speaks up again. “Master Bruce and the boys have all been made aware of your absence, sir.” You curl in on yourself again. Great, can’t wait for that. You snatch up a sandwich and chew angrily, leaning forward and attempting to type up a report.

“[L/N]”

Spinning the seat around, you come nearly face to face with your youngest brother, Damian. Which… is odd, considering he’s supposed to be in patrol right now.

“Damian?” You mutter, standing from the chair and taking a few steps towards him. “What are you doing here, bud?” You notice that Alfred has disappeared, possibly returning upstairs.

Damian scowls, stomping closer and grabbing hold of your sleeve. You’re still wearing your suit, having not bothered to change. “Being the only sensible person in this house, it seems.” He mutters, practically pulling you out of the cave behind him by the sleeve.

You try to protest, citing the report you need to file, but Damian seems set on taking you to your room. He nudges you into the room and stands at the door, crossing his arms. “Get changed and then meet me in the theatre. Take your time.”

And then he’s gone, and the door closes.

Standing in your dimly lit room, you sigh. Guess you’ve got no choice but to listen to him. Little guy can be real stubborn. Just like you, huh?

Most of your clothes are soft. It’s practically mandatory, at this point. It’s times like these that you’re glad that Bruce was so willing to spend money on the people he cares about— your entire closet is filled with comfy clothes suited for lounging and relaxing.

Carefully cracking your door open, you can’t hear any noises. You don’t see Damian either… he must be in the theatre already.

The theatre isn’t too far from your room, just a couple hallways and one large room with multiple doors. It’s as you approach the theatre that the sound of voices reach you. It’s not quiet yelling, just… passionate conversation.

Yeah, let’s just go with that…

Cracking the door open and peering inside, you’re greeted with the entirety of your family arguing, surrounded by blankets and pillows.

Ah, so this was the plan.

Not everyone is here— Bruce and Tim still seem to be out— but there’s enough people in the room to make you feel warm. You still feel upset, of course, but you’re comforted by the fact that no one is upset with you.

You push the door open, stepping into the large theatre. Three heads snap to you immediately, arguing quieting down to a murmur. The others haven’t seen you yet.

They’re all sitting in a semicircle, blankets and pillows arranged on the floor for maximum comfort. There’s a few snacks on the far side of the blanket den, and the giant screen has been turned on, though nothing is playing yet. That must be what they were arguing about.

Cass smiles, urging you closer with a few gestures. Beside her, Damian’s face lightens when he sees that you’ve followed his instructions.

Settling down beside Damian and Jason, the others are finally aware of your presence and the arguing stops briefly for a few surprised exclamations.

Dick completely stops the conversation, moving closer to you and giving you a hug, one you lean into with a hum. As he pulls back, his expression seems unusually soft as he double checks you’re actually fine. “Hey kid, feeling a little better?”

The pain is still there, it never really goes away, but the pain meds seem to be working. If you had a leg compress or something you’d probably feel better, but you can manage without it for a moment. You nod, getting comfortable on the blanket.

Dick’s expression turns sheepish. “B and Tim couldn’t make- someone had to patrol tonight… they’ll get here later, ok?” He settles in next the Damian, Cass shuffling forward to sit with Steph and duke, watching them argue about what movie to watch.

Jason nudges your side, holding out a plate of your favourite snacks with a hum. You take it gratefully, taking a bite and sighing. You notice that Jason has the remote, and he’s started scrolling the movie options without care fore the argument happing to his left.

“Huh… any of these look good to you?” He asks you quietly, gesturing to the list of movies displayed on screen. Most are ones you’ve seen a thousand times, but you can spot your favourite movie. You snatch the remote and hover over it, letting the details pop up.

Jason huffs and takes the remote back, but doesn’t question your choice. Dick snickers and Jason swats at his head angrily. You and Damian share a look. This is why you don’t have movie nights often.

Thankfully, all arguing quiets down when the door opens again and someone clears their throat. You all look towards the entrance and see Alfred standing in the door way, seeming both amused and tired by the fighting.

He walks towards all of you, holding two trays in his hands. He sets one down on the blanket, revealing it to be a plate of cookies. They seem to be freshly baked…

He hands the second tray to you. It’s full of things you might need— a heating pad, a cold compress, more pain meds and sleeping pills, just in case. He lets you set it down before speaking again. “Miss Barbara wishes you well, Master [Name], and Master Tim has requested that I tell you that both him and Master Bruce will arrive within the next two hours.”

“Thank you, Alfred.” You hum, taking whatever items you think you’ll need and getting situated. You don’t take the pain medication— you took some back at the cave— though you do take the sleeping pills.

Alfred bows slightly and walks away again, likely to prepare the cave for Tim and Bruce’s return.

Before anyone can start arguing again, Jason presses play on the movie. Nobody complains as the beginning sequence begins, likely knowing that you picked this movie.

Damian settles against your side, arms loosely hanging around your stomach. Dick leans closer to the both of you, Jason tries to steal your snacks.

It’s perfect.

You manage to watch the first thirty minutes of the movie before the sleeping pills take effect and you slump against Jason’s shoulder. Surrounded by family, watching your favourite movie, you feel perfectly content to fall asleep.

Possibly hours later, you wake up to someone touching your hair.

Blinking open your eyes, you come face to face with Bruce. His expression is unusually soft, smiling gently at you. “Hey sweetheart..” He murmurs quietly, pushing your hair out of your face. His expression is soft, but slightly upset. Or proud? You’re half asleep, you can’t tell.

He stands up, rubbing his eyes and sighing. Behind him, you spot Tim looking over Steph and Cass, both of whom have fallen asleep together. Bruce glances down at you, smiling again. “It’s okay, kid, go back to sleep, okay?”

Humming, you close your eyes again. You hear him walk away, and feel Tim settle down between you and Jason. There’s some muttering and grumbling, but no fights break out.

There’s still a movie playing quietly, though you don’t recognise it. You think you hear a quiet click, but you can’t be too sure…

You drift off before you realise.

Two weeks later, Bruce has a new photo sitting in his home office, the office at Wayne Tower, his wallet, his lockscreen…

It’s a dark picture of his kids. They’re all curled up together, bathed in a pale blue light. They’re all covered in blankets, and pillows are strewn about.

It’s his favourite picture.

I hope this is what you wanted ^^

[1for5]

yes im changing

paige bueckers x reader

(paige x uconn psychology student!reader)

synopsis: with y/n being in a new environment, still facing rejection, how can she bounce back?

masterlist

chap 4

y/n pov:

okay scratch that. i would have to do all athletes. okay new research:

a comparative research on the academic resilience of students and students part of the basketball team in the university of connecticut.

much better. i can have more focus on the people in my research. and plus, the basketball teams are the most known in uconn, which could make them have different perspectives. but first.. i would have to ask their coach first. i may ask aubrey if she can bring me to their coach, his name is coach geno..?

after their training (and an hour of peyton giggling), i went up to aubrey and told her about my research.

“yeah! i could definitely ask coach geno, he’s in the other room though to get his stuff, but he’ll come back soon” aubrey replied with enthusiasm. “thats great! thanks aubrey. i would also have to ask the men’s basketball coach, but ill check tomorrow since its already late” i mentioned. aubrey and i got to talk a little bit more, aubrey asking me why i was even in their training the first place.

i said that peyton’s crush is in the team, which made aubrey laugh. when we both looked behind to peyton, we see her talking to azzi. smooth ass..

coach geno finally got out of the other room, and aubrey introduced me to him.

“oh coach! this is y/n, and she has a small favor to ask” aubrey says. “hello coach geno! i am a freshman taking psychology, and i wanted to ask if i could have your team to be part of my research” i smiled.

“what’s it about?”

“their resistancy in regards to their school work sir”

“will it hinder their skills?”

“no sir”

“how long will this take?”

“maximum of a month i believe, but it still depends”

“as long as the team says yes and it wont be a distraction, then im all for it. goodluck y/n, and welcome to uconn!” coach geno replied with a small smile. “thank you sir! it means a lot” i smiled back.

i went back to peyton, who was talking to azzi, and introduced me to her. azzi then introduced me to the other players— to nika, kk, paige, and caroline. i guess i still needed a formal greeting even with the event that happened yesterday.

i then proceeded to ask the whole team about my research idea, and they were all willing to help me. just needed to contact the men’s basketball team now.

after small talks, we all headed back to our dorms. i feel better with the team already, they’re all quite playful, just have to ignore that one blonde, paige. we haven’t talked a word to each other, and i won’t mind if we don’t talk at all.

when we arrived to the dorms area, we all bid our goodbyes to some of the members and the others headed to the same dorm building as me. turns out that everyone that has the same dorm as me lives on the same floor as me.. this will be fun. my “floormates” are nika, ashlynn, ice, kk, and paige. azzi along with caroline and the others were at another dorm building.

we all bid our goodnights, and aubrey and i went inside our dorm. we both were too tired, and got unready and head to our beds quick.

“goodnight y/n!”

“goodnight aubs”

the next week

the last days were great. men’s basketball team is on board with my research, and my introduction and rrl is surprisingly done.

today, i will start to interview the women’s basketball team, and i am thinking of doing observations with them as well— like having group study sessions and know their behavior and thoughts.

its now 2pm, two hours before the team’s training, which gives me enough time to interview some people. i text aubrey saying that im near their court, and was asking who i can interview first.

aubrey: paige is free

goddamn it.

oh well, let’s just get this over with. i open the court’s entrance, the team seeing me and greeting me.

“so, who can go first?” i ask the team, i really didn’t want paige, she will just give me negative energy for the rest of the day. she is always so.. negative towards me.

“i dont think we can.. coach wants us to do 25 laps as penalty! but since paige wasn’t there when the team was goofing around.. she’s free” azzi explained. “what did you guys even do that made coach geno be in fumes?” i asked.

“teased coach about paige dating on of his children.. they’re our age though” aubrey steps in. “oh id send you guys to 25 laps as well” i joked. “whatever!” azzi says.

i told paige to come with me the the bleachers, still being nonchalant.

“so where do we begin..” i hummed. i could feel that paige felt awkward

“name?” i started.

“paige bueckers”

“year?”

“im a junior”

she’s 2 years older than me.

“current gpa?”

“3.9”

not bad.

“workloard in school?”

“atleast 5 worksheets and 2 tests per week”

“can you finish them on time?”

“depends”

“what’s your hardest subject?”

“chemistry”

“favorite subject?”

“anatomy”

“okay that’s all for now. we still have more interviews in the future, and a possible group study session with the others. thank you!” i tell paige.

“thanks” paige coldly replies.

after an interview with aubrey, azzi, and the others, i wrapped it up, just in time for them to do their own preps before training. i was looking for a water dispenser as i was thirsty. i passed by the locker room and heard a voice.

“what is she even doing here? can’t she do her studies somewhere else? we don’t need her bro” the voice stated, which i think was pertaining to me.

“paige, just be kind. its a freshman’s research, you know how tough some professors are with the freshmans, they would have to give their best” another voice replied back.

“whatever, let’s just get to practice” paige scoffs. i rolled by eyes and realized that it was my signal to go, i didn’t want them to see me. i quickly got my water and got out of the court, thanking coach geno and the other members who were just sitting on the bleachers.

as i walk, i start to feel discouraged. i just want to do what’s best for me, and a person who doesn’t know me just talks bad about what im doing. i guess i just have to suck it up, i have no time for negativity anyways. just focus on being able to transfer to stanford.

uconn, your star is not-so shining to me.

- zo’s notes: hello, i hope everyone is enjoying reading my fic :)

[smicksstuff]

heyy i’m here with another alejandro garnacho x sabrina carpenter face claim smau, if you’re taking requests🫶

could you just do a couple posts of him supporting him at his matches and him supporting her at her concerts please? thank you sm, love your writing!!

the remix | alejandro garnacho

pairing: alejandro garnacho x female!popstar

warnings: swearing

face claim: sabrina carpenter

summary: follow closely the lives of manchester united’s starboy and the queen of hearts. its never a boring day with them 😉

yn.ln

Singapore

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yn.ln thank you singapore ! i will be back soon 💋

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garnacho7 mi vida ❤️

yn.ln te quiero mi corazon ❤️

user1 6 nights arent enough !!! come back i want moree

ybsf never gonna doubt singapore again

yn.ln you best believe me next time

ybsf 🤞🏼

ana.pinho so proud of you mi nina ❤️

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rasmus.hoejlund when do i get tickets to your concert ?

yn.ln soon amigo

-

March 17th, 2024

yn.ln posted a new story

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garnacho7

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garnacho7 its a day filled with big wins ❤️

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yn.ln today has got to be the best day ever !! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ CMON UNITED !!!!!!

user my little scouse heart cannot handle it 😭 why does she have to be a united girlie

user streaming yn.ln to get over this heartbreak 💔

manchesterunited 💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽 great to have you back yn ❤️

lucialoi united duo are back 💋

yn.ln never getting rid of us that easy

rasmus.hoejlund @/yn.ln since you are backkkkkk…..

yn.ln patience my friend, just landed less than 24 hours ago

user ngl hoejlund asking for concert tixs with no shame is such a mood

user girl if your besties girl is yn.ln i’d shamelessly beg for tix too

user @/yn.ln new music sooon ?

-

yn.ln

liked by garnacho7, facupellistri, selenagomez and 1,377,829 others

yn.ln its good to be home 🏠❤️

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garnacho7 never letting you leave again ! 😠❤️

rasmus.hoejlund get a room

kobbie there are kids on this app

user SHE IS IN THE STUDIO ! I REPEAT: SHE IS IN THE STUDIO

user pls im begging i want a teaser

user album listen party planning in the works! whos in ?

user ☝🏼

user ☝🏼

user everyone is excited about yn in the studio but im more interested why ale is dressed up so nice for the camera

user OMG IS HE IN THE MUSIC VIDEOS ?

user the delulu is strong now

-

April 21st, 2024

yn.ln

liked by garnacho7, ybsf, lukeshaw, marcusrashford10 and 902,727 others

yn.ln WEMBLEY BOUND ⚽️❤️

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garnacho7 THATS HOW WE DO IT ❤️❤️❤️

manchesterunited ❤️⚽️💪🏽

jackgrealish see you in wembley

yn.ln you can bet on it

jackgrealish no matter how it goes still friends yeah

yn.ln 🤔🤔🤔 ill think about it

user not jack grealish in the comments

user to be fair the two of them have been friends for ages. not surprised

user jacko probably ensuring he still got friendship status at her concerts

-

May 26th, 2024

yn.ln

liked by garnacho7, masonmount, and 1,839,378 others

yn.ln manchester is forever red ❤️🏆

view comments

garnacho7 ❤️❤️❤️❤️

masonmount damn the pictures came out great! please send the rest !!

yn.ln yes sir sending now 🫡

masonmount totally forgot about the whole espresso incident

yn.ln 🤐🤐🤐

user what espresso incident??? i need to know

user awww to be yn

user best WAG ever

marcusrashford10 the photo quality is amazing! hiring you next time for photos 📸

yn.ln thanks rashy ! atleast if the singing doesnt work out i got my photo gig

marcusrashford10 “singing doesnt work out” fam you need a better reason, from what ive heard im never gonna be able to hire you 🙄

yn.ln since when did you become so sweet

marcusrashford10 always been short and sweet

liked by yn.ln and 890 others

user @/marcusrashford10 wdym “from what ive heard”

user has everyone at united heard the new album

rasmus.hoejlund 😏😏😏

user OMGGGG NO **** WAY

user YN RELEASE IT SOON! no way these footballers get to hear it before me !!!!!!!!!

-

May 27th, 2024

teamyn, yn.ln

liked by yn.ln, taylorswift, bensonboone, and 2,684,883

teamyn keep a lookout besties cause your girl yn is going back to wembley on June 16th !

🔗 in bio to secure your tickets for the Capital FM Summertime Ball.

ticket sales start 28 May 2024 @ 9am

view comments

rasmus.hoejlund please please please i want 2 tickets

yn.ln the day you dont get tickets is a day that will never come

rasmus.hoejlund @/garnacho7 your girl is the best

garnacho7 ofcourse i know that

garnacho7 finally get to see mi vida perform live !!! ❤️😆😁

yn.ln time for you to be the WAG now !!

garnacho7 im ready !! ive been waiting a long time for this

taylorswift you go girl !! so proud of you ❤️

yn.ln thank you taytay !!! ❤️

bensonboone we’re getting the band back together

yn.ln lets go rock wembleys socks off

-

June 16th, 2024

garnacho7

liked by yn.ln, masonmount, facupellistri and 1,399,637 others

garnacho7 thats MY girl !! ❤️ te quiero mi vida 💋

view comments

yn.ln thats MY boy ❤️ i love youuuu 💋💋💋

masonmount @/yn.ln more concert dates when 💳💸💰💳

marcusrashford10 you can take my money too

yn.ln calm down besties, just be patient

user something is cooking…. i just know it

user yn has changed the united boys

declanrice @/yn.ln after a banger like that, you better have more concert dates

yn.ln deccers you do realise when it happens you will be the first to know yeah

landonorris fancy performing at silverstone this year

yn.ln tempting offer 🤔 i might take you up on that lando

landonorris telling the organisers now

jackgrealish @/yn.ln that was one hell of a show ! you were amazing yn ! thank you for the tickets

yn.ln youre welcome jacko !! despite you being a bluey you will still get tickets

jackgrealish thats what i love to hear 🤍

-

June 17th, 2024

yn.ln posted a story

-

June 18th, 2024

yn.ln

liked by garnacho7, declanrice, landonorris and 3,637,727 others

yn.ln go stream please please please now !!

Short n’ Sweet album out 23 August 2024

🔗 in bio

view comments

garnacho7 FINALLY GET TO BLAST THIS IN THE CAR !!!!! ❤️

garnacho7 so proud of you mi vida ! cant wait for the full album to be released!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

yn.ln thank you mi corazon ❤️

user THIS SONG IS EVERYTHING

user its been on repeat all day

user MY QUEEN 👑👑👑

user GUYS!!! IT WAS RIGHT UNDER OUR NOSES THE WHOLE TIME

user wdym ??? what have i missed ??

user marcus mason and rasmus literally mentioned the album name and song titles in their comments

user it was all in plain sight

user they are f***g geniuses

user our queen spent too much time with taytay !

user these united boys know something 🤔

manchesterunited new song added to our playlist!! ❤️🎶

yn.ln you guys are too sweet

user GUYS THE MUSIC VIDEOOOOO

liked by user, yn.ln and 8,926 others

user my jaw is on the ground

user since WHENNNN

user i get the alejandro hype now. never did understand it but i do now

-

credits: all pictures are found from pinterest and instagram

a/n: sorry for the long wait!! thank you for reading this far!! If you have any one-shot scenarios send them to me!! I would love to try and recreate them for you ◡̈

[yoshirage]

Body swap diaries: PETER’s CYOC

After months of training and studying, I stood there proudly with fellow agents and superiors in the lower levels of Area 51 awaiting for my first mission as a full fledge secret service agent. It was a grueling time to the point that out of 50 candidates, only 3 of us actually made it.

We hear a gruff raspy voice from the intercom. “Welcome new agents and congratulations. You all are now officially part of the secret service which; as you all know, deals with more covert missions regarding this country. So please meet up with your superiors to discuss your first mission.”

All of the agents dispersed and so did I, and made it to Mr. Carlson’s office. I open the door and see a half naked man with curly hair frantically trying to put his clothes on.

“Ahh dammit looks like i forgot to close that damn door again. Lock it for me will you Peter.” I locked the door behind and sat at one of the office chairs trying not to look and stare at my supervisor’s body. “Hahaha come on now Peter, don’t be so shy. This isn’t the first you’ve seen me in another body.” He was right, but the usual bodies he’s in are the bigger hairy daddy types.

“So i guess you took my advice huh”

“ yeah. Went with someone younger and chose this guy named Jon to take for my time off. Gotta say its a different feeling.” He flexes his arms.

“You look great sir”

“Hahaha thanks Peter. Now since you were the highest achieving agent we have, i decided to assign you as a personal guard for a past president. As may know, any two term US president that finishes their service gets assigned a lifetime agent to help with safety and security, and they are also enrolled with the ‘reincarnation program’ which…

“Gives the ex president and their partner, a choice to have their consciousness transferred to another person’s body.”

“Very good Peter!” He claps his hands “now of course they can opt out of it if they choose to, but we at least wanna give them a taste of it and see if its for them.”

“Isnt it too early for Mr Obama to be in this program?”

“Yes you’re right which is why I’m assigning you to George W bush.”

“Wait isnt there someone already assigned to Mr. Bush?”

“There was, but we are reassigning Gary to a much more… lets just covert mission.” I just nod my head knowing exactly what he means.

“Now Mr Bush has been living in his current body Bruno for almost a year in Brazil.”

“How about the real Bruno.”

“He’s living life as Mr. Bush. We programmed him to practically BE George Bush… memories and all” i nod my head. “ now Mr Bush has been alerted of the change in staff but I would like you to travel to Brazil and introduce yourself”

“No problem sir. Will do”

“I also gave the guys at the lab the Ok to swap you with someone else for this mission, of course you don’t have to.”

I thought about it for a short while and decided to swap. “ Thank you sir. I will go right now.”

“Sounds good. Here is a catalog of the guys that are available.”

I look over it and saw Jon’s body with the amount of $10,000 right by his name. “Damn! I cant believe this kid is getting paid $10,000 to swap bodies with an agent” i thought to myself.

“now if you’ll excuse me. I think its officially time for me to start my Time off.”

“Have fun sir and Ill see you when you get back.”

I leave his office and made my way towards the all the while looking at the catalog.

“Hey Peter!” I waved at Vinh “ Mr Carlson told me all about your mission. So have you thought about which body you want.”

I looked over the catalog one last time…. “This one” I said

(Which of these guys should Peter switch with. From top to bottom: Joey, Christian, Larry, Leon).

[scph1001]

end of the year yes sir yes sir.

as always id say the rows are more exact than the actual rankings but some of the edge ones are iffy.

sadly i did not finish metaphor in time- ill likely finish it within the next week though. if i had finished metaphor in time (and if the ending doesnt suck shit out of nowhere) it would have been third. i respect it alot more than P3R- and though i have a list of complaints i thought metaphor was a wonderful game

playing killer7 was crazy!!!! i knew i had to play after seeing the cloudman cutscene and it really did deliver. it made me feel like i was playing MGS2 for the first time again and i think thats the highest praise i could give a game. in another world where MGS2 wasnt the first game to really get me into the medium- killer7 would have been my favorite game. absolutely timeless. incredible combat and i admire the way it jumps topic to topic and doesnt really offer true finality to a couple of its points.

chulip now thats an all timer 👆 very adorable video game i like that its mean to the player but also has a kind heart. for whatever reason my joykill spirit doesnt activate for chulip- and there probably is a bit to say on how it treats women- but its not the worst ever and the game is not too pushy about bothering her. very very good ending sequence. great gameplay loop

honestly i dont even think i like P3R much. it was just the first game me and alot of the people i know were excited about in a long time and i have really fun memories playing it and getting it on release. honestly i thought about it while writing this and ended up just making a backloggd review lol

not much to say about katamari. its one of those games for me. yeah i enjoyed it but i have so little to say so maybe i shouldnt rank it so high but i fuck with its vision alot.

SMT1 is not fun to play but i really do admire its existence and atmosphere. incredibly cool

i still have complex feelings about SMTVV since its everything i wanted but its also lame as shit. tao and yoko remind me of ariana and cynthia during the wicked press tour lowkey. also i think SMTVV got worse after metaphor came out and ATLUS started showing off some actually good dungeons

earthbound was alright honestly i dont feel strongly about it and if it didnt have its presentation and unique manner of speaking to the viewer it would be a 3/5

jack bros was actually good im not exaggerating

baroque was cool but also im not very into it- its a 4/5 out of respect for it

shadow of memories was crazy everyone go play shadow of memories

i honestly fucked with P1 alot in terms of style/vibes but theres not much more to say about it and the story and characters arent special

gitaroo man was hard as shit but the music was fun

the parappa 2 music was fun but gitaroo man had more swag

i do not care about hypnospace sorry everyone.

im not the biggest fan of P2IS and P2EP just felt like a worse version of P2IS so i was never gonna be really into it. i do admire its vision and i think its pulling off what FFVIIR is trying to do better- but still not good

i respect the answer- but i just do not like P3 combat. a game of just P3 combat is going to fall flat for me. and honestly for a game about death (P3)- maybe there shouldnt be an answer.

dragon warrior was cute but i cant really give it high praise. for its time- great revolutionary. now? its alright.

i hated LIVE A LIVE that shit sucked

[marriiemeii]

01. New Intern

summary: carat publishing house gets a new intern and all the departments hear about it

previous || next

group chat: BOOSEOKSOONYOON

boo seungkwan, lee seokmin, kwon soonyoung, kim hayoon

soon: there's a new intern!!

yoon: bitch whereee

boo: FINANCING

soon: let's make some bets people

seok: 😗

boo: the last time we made a bet. i had to write an apology cus of hr

yoon: im down!

seok: sooo u in seungkwan or what

boo: fine 🙄

soon: woohoo! alright who will the intern fall for?

mingyu or jeonghan

yoon: jeonghan

seok: jeonghan

boo: jeonghan

soon: yall are merciless to mingyu

anywho mingyu

yoon: she cant like her lead??

seok: but u can like ur fellow line staff?

boo: slay💅

yoon: 🙃🙃 and who do i like

soon: oh i dunno the guy u keep arguing

boo: yall need to jump each others bones or something cus the tension when u 2 are with each other is thicc

seok: thiccer than seungcheols thighs

soon: u cant deny he got some thicc thighs

boo: thicc thighs save lives

yoon: menaces🚶‍♀️‍➡️

boo: ur leaving cus we're right!

meanwhile...

"good morning, ms. choi! how's your first day been so far," mingyu, the lead of financing, asks the new intern.

the female sitting at a table in the break room looks up from her instant ramen with noodles hanging from her lips. her eyes were wide in surprise, not realizing someone was going to approach her.

"msorry, mne mmment," soojin covers her mouth and tries speaking to her new boss. mingyu laughs with a wide smile on his face.

"no worries! didn't mean to interrupt your lunch. mind if i sit with you?" he gestures to the seat in front of her. she shakes her head and was finally able to speak again.

"my day's been pretty good so far. i'm really enjoying it here. everyone's been really nice and helpful," she tells him with a smile.

group chat:

evil triplets and the victim

jeonghan, joshua, yeri, and seungcheol

jisoo: caught in 4k

hannie: is that the new intern

yeri: yknow taking pics of people at work can be considered harassment

hannie: ^^ i taught u well mini me

seungcheol: u taught her nothing except being a little shit

jisoo: agreed💯

seungcheol: why'd u send that pic tho?

jisoo: i heard from a little birdie that there's a bet going on

jeonghan: last time there was a bet someone had to apologize

yeri: im not a part of this

jeonghan: officially ur not after hours is fine cus it's not work gossip

seungcheol: what a great hr lead🫠

jeonghan: whats the bet anyways😇

jisoo: if those 2 will catch feelings

seungcheol: no

jeonghan: no

yeri: that's literally her lead no. i don't want more work

jisoo: ur no fun 🥺

seungcheol: work isn’t fun

jeonghan: back to work again. come on mini me

yeri: sir yes sir🫡

group chat:

cat lady and her 2 cats

mai, wonwoo, junhui

wonwoo: mai, isnt the intern soojin ur friend

mai: yeah

wonwoo: there's a bet about her

mai: lmfao what

junhui: theres a bet if she'll fall for mingyu

mai: 😬 whoever made that bet is dumb. mingyu's not even her type

junhui: u didn't hear it from me

mai: alright, wanna go out for kbbq? ill invite soojin

wonwoo: 👀

junhui: 🥰 yes team lead mai

previous || next

[ashleyfanfic]

Love your blog! Huge Jonerys shipper and just finished Seaosn 2 of Bridgerton and LOVE Polin! Kantony was amazing too! I am so excited for Season 3! Did you see the trailer! Would love yo know your thoughts! Hope you have a great day!

OH! SO EXCITED TO TALK ABOUT THIS! Thanks for asking.

First, Jonerys will always be my OTP. Yeah, the show ended like a burning pile of dog turds, but in fan fiction they're living happily ever after as they should have. The one good thing is that Kit's show is not going to be made which means they will not be able to profit off Daenerys Death anymore than the already do. Kit, find you another franchise where you can swing a sword. I'll watch it. I sat through Pompeii I can do anything.

Second, I love KANTHONY!!! I mean, the PINING! THE UST! LOVE IT! All the glances and touches and the "You are the bane of my existence and the object of my every desire" yes, sir! PLEASE. Love them. So glad we get to see them happy and in love this season. Just a boon, for sure.

Third, POLIN! Ok, hang on, let me get this out of the way first because it is a huge concern to me. I do not, under any circumstances, want to see Eloise join in with Cressida to make fun of Penelope. I get it, she's hurt, but please don't let her do that because she knows all of the sensitive points about Penelope, not even counting Lady Whistledown. She knows the things she's sensitive about and stands to truly hurt her. I had my former best friend do that to me and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Though, Nicola and Luke were both adamant about their love for Eloise. So, here's hoping.

POLIN - Alright, I'm going to say what I'm sure many other people are thinking -- Colin needs to grovel in apology for what he said. It's already difficult enough for Pen, with her introverted nature, to meet and talk to people. That has been clearly established. But to then have an influential man in the ton declare that he would never dream of courting her? I mean, talk about ruining a girl's chances all around.

There are little things throughout the trailer that fascinate me. One being that I think Penelope isn't going to arrive to one of the balls with her family but fake an illness and stay home. Perhaps after seeing Eloise with Cressida at a garden party earlier that day. Something sparks within her and causes her to no longer lie there, but throw open her wardrobe and we see her getting dressed. We do see Pen see them walk away together. So, I think she comes in late, dressed in a different gown, with a different look. Perhaps she asked Madam Delacroix to make it for her outside of her mother's knowledge. Because we see her standing at the top of a staircase in a red cape and then dramatically allowing it to fall to the ground. Everyone turns and looks. (My favorite thing, is if you look at the crowd, her brother-in-law, Mr. Finch is smiling at her - such a sweet, cheese loving boy!). But Cressida and Eloise look shook. Also, in this same scene we do see Francesca and Pen later talking. This is important to me as it is said in the books, Colin is very close with Franny, especially once he starts traveling and she moves to Scotland. Lady Danbury is obviously speaking with the Queen about the possible matches that could be made. So far, all the writings we've seen about this season show that Mister Dankworth is interested in marriage, but instead of being along the lines of Nigel Berbrook, he's more along the lines of Prince Friedrich. You might root for him if Colin wasn't already in the picture. I have a feeling that while his interest will spark jealousy in Colin, it will also spark confidence in Penelope. Which, judging by some of these awkward convos we see her having with some of the other men of the ton, she really needs. But the sight of them dancing beneath the moonlight in the ballroom, and their heads close together over a book, and Colin having to sit back and watch as a bystander, is too sweet for me to take. Colin is the sort you have to hit over the head and drag him to it. Someone else finding her desirable could spark that wait, what have I missed. We love our leading man, but baby are you dense. The scene where he's sitting back and the flame slowly lights, it's like Colin's love for Penelope. It doesn't happen all at once, but as it grows and glows it gets brighter. Their trope is she falls first, but he falls harder. And in the books, that 100% true. He's my wife this, my wife that. Once he realizes that he's in love with her, there is nothing else that matters to him BUT her.

[edosianorchids901]

Obedience

@flashfictionfridayofficial prompt - "Yes, sir!!"

“And we’ll fight evil!” Gabriel yelled from the podium.

“Yes sir!” the room of soldiers shouted in response.

“And triumph over Hell!”

“Yes sir!”

“And slay all demons like the scum they are!”

“Yes sir!”

Aziraphale closed his eyes, feeling rather ill. These pep talks from Gabriel had once been rare occasions, only given before a major offensive. But now, with the Apocalypse approaching, they grew more and more frequent. Countless angels summoned to a massive, all white room to listen to Gabriel declaim about Heaven’s goals.

It was wrong for an angel to be anything less than enthusiastic about such things. Of course Heaven would fight evil, triumph over Hell, and slay demons. It was all part of the Great Plan.

But the more Aziraphale thought about it, the more his tummy churned. Bile rose in his throat, and he swallowed hard in an attempt to choke back the rising nausea.

He couldn’t choke back the imagined War that unfolded in his mind, though. Leaving his bookshop, putting on his uniform, taking up a flaming sword again. Being on the front lines, battling, all thoughts of his own subsumed by Heaven’s machine of death and destruction.

No option other than obedience. To echo “yes sir!” to every order, no matter how horrible. To fight, to torture, to kill.

The image rose even more strongly as he stumbled back towards the shop. The stench of blood and ichor all around, like how it had been during the first War. Flash of flaming swords, endless commands to fight, to cut down any demon who tried to flee.

Even if that demon was the one he’d loved for so long.

A moan slipped from Aziraphale, legs wobbling underneath him as the world spun. He sank to the pavement, clutching his hand together. Oh no. Oh Lord, he was going to faint.

He hung his head, breathing deeply. When that didn’t help, he leaned back against the outside of the bookshop. His heart pounded faster, and terrible trembling rushed through him.

“I can’t do it.” The words slipped out in a helpless whimper. “I can’t do it, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t…”

The bookshop door creaked open. “Angel?”

“I can’t, I can’t…”

“Aziraphale. Aziraphale!” Hands on his arms, steadying him as convulsive tremors struck. Aziraphale couldn’t see, everything blurry, and his breaths came in increasingly ragged shivery gasps. “Aziraphale, look at me. Hey, s’ all right. You’re with Crowley, it’s okay.”

“C-Crowley?” Aziraphale looked up at him, lip wobbling. What was he doing here? He should be running away before the angels killed him. “I can’t do it. I can’t. I can’t.”

Crowley’s face wrenched with confusion. Keeping one hand on Aziraphale’s arm, he reached up and very carefully cupped his cheek. As if Aziraphale might shatter if handled less tentatively. “Can you come inside the shop if I help you? You look like you’re gonna pass out.”

Aziraphale still felt like he was going to pass out, but going inside the shop did sound rather better than fainting on the pavement and forcing Crowley to carry him inside. He nodded.

“Right, okay. Here we go, take it easy.” Crowley hauled him to his feet and dragged him inside. Aziraphale could hardly manage to walk, shaking too badly, and the nausea worsened as he moved. “How about the sofa? Think the sofa’s a good call.”

This time, Crowley didn’t wait for a reply. He simply laid Aziraphale down on the sofa, guiding him with gentle touches, and Aziraphale went without protest. He slumped against the pillows, breathing hard, whole bookshop spinning around him in a dizzying whirl.

“Okay, that’s better. Yeah?” With a soft, worried hiss, Crowley swept off his coat and laid it across Aziraphale. He took Aziraphale’s hand in a loose grasp, ducking down to meet his gaze over the tops of dark lenses. “Angel? Can I get you anything?”

Aziraphale opened his mouth to attempt a response and instead sobbed. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

The words had slipped out, and horror curdled in his stomach. Oh, what would Crowley think of him if he knew what Aziraphale had been so obediently cheering at the pep talk?

Crowley’s jaw dropped, but it wasn’t a look of shock. It was realization. “Ohh. It was one of *those* trips to Heaven, eh? Gabriel rallying the troops again?”

At least a touch relieved, Aziraphale nodded. “He’s… enthusiastic.”

“Hn, yeah. Always has been.” Crowley’s nose wrinkled with distaste, and he shuddered. Then he pulled off his sunglasses, leaning in. “Aziraphale, listen to me. You’re not gonna hurt me. I’ve never been worried about that.”

“I’m worried about that.” Aziraphale could hardly choke the words out, unbearably queasy. He felt as though he might vomit all over the sofa. “If… if they order me to slay… I’ll have to obey, I…”

He gagged, stomach rebelling. Crowley made a quick shushing sound and ran a light, careful stroke across his hair. “It won’t come to that. It’s gonna be fine. We’ve done a damn good job canceling each other out, yeah?”

This time, Aziraphale couldn’t bring himself to reply. He just stared at Crowley miserably. What if all their attempts to avert the Apocalypse failed?

Crowley gave a sympathetic pout at the lack of response and stroked Aziraphale’s hair again. He swayed just a little, tempting. “Come on. Have faith in us. I do.”

Aziraphale had absolutely unlimited faith in Crowley. Crowley was so brave, so clever, could always find a way to slither out of any trouble. While Aziraphale, well…

Had just enthusiastically chanted “Yes, sir!” with the rest of Heaven, agreeing to slay all demons.

But he couldn’t give up, not when Crowley was counting on him. So he sniffled and squeezed Crowley’s hand. “I’ll try.”

[alsolucakairomi]

Fiona & Moriarty- Lesson Two

Part Two. Content includes kidnapping, threats of violence, actual violence, swearing, forced to hurt, dehumanization, mutilation, noncon touch (nonsexual), autocannibalism, branding, and torture. Moriarty is co-owned with @space-is-out-there! Let me know if I missed any tags.

Lesson two. Respect.

"Welcome to my humble lair!" Moriarty announces, as if Fiona is supposed to burst into applause at the sight of dingy dungeon walls. Instead, she nearly breaks a wrist trying to pull the chain she's cuffed to out of the wall. "Where is everyone?! Where did you take me?!"

"A- wouldn't you like to know and B- to my home!"

"A- Yes I would and B- fuck you and your dungeon house," the girl snaps. Moriarty cackles at that, flashing perfectly white teeth as Fiona looks around in a sudden panic. "What did you do with my wand?!"

"I assure you it's unharmed. I'm just saving it for when you earn it."

What-

"I was wrong about Mark," Moriarty says, waving a hand dismissively at the thought of his son. "I thought he might have what it takes, but... I'm still in the market for a protégé."

Fiona's expression is incredulous. "No way I'm doing that! You're even more insane than I thought if you think I'll EVER work for you!" She pulls even harder at the chains, but they don't budge.

Moriarty rolls his eyes. "They use those chains to wrangle dragons, you know."

Fiona stops pulling and glares at him. "So what, then? Are you planning on just keeping me in here forever?!"

He scoffs, like she's an idiot. "No, of course not. If I can't convince you, I'll merely erase your memory and mind control you!" He pauses, tapping his chin as if deep in thought. "...Or I'll kill you and feed you to the rats. Depends on my mood."

Fiona wipes the horrified look off her face before that statement can sink in. "Great. So there's no option where I, say... stab you in the back?"

"Not unless you want to be tracked to the ends of the earth by my men and fed the skin of everyone you care about," Moriarty responds matter-of-factually.

Fiona feels ill. "Thanks for that image."

"You're welcome, love!" Moriarty chirps, and claps his hands together. "Now, if we're going to get along, there are some ground rules you should know about. Follow them, and your apprenticeship will be relatively pain-free. Disobey, and there will be consequences. Number one-"

Abruptly, he is standing less than a foot away from her, and she startles on instinct. He clicks his tongue. "Don't hesitate. Hesitation makes you weak- and you can't run a criminal empire like that, can you?"

She opens her mouth to speak and he holds up a finger to silence her. She's so surprised that she says nothing, her mouth agape- and Moriarty claps. "Rule number two- respect. You may be next in line to run this place, but I am your boss. You follow my orders, when I give them. You may call me Moriarty when we're alone; boss or sir when in public."

She can't help herself. "What are you calling me?"

"Whatever the hell I want," he says.

She wasn't sure what else she expected.

"Rule two-and-a-half- look me in the eyes when I speak to you." Moriarty snaps his fingers, catching her attention from an extremely interesting mold spot on the floor. "Manners are important- we can't have anyone thinking we're uncivilized, can't we? We're not barbarians."

"Yeah, just criminals," Fiona mumbles.

"That's no excuse to be rude," Moriarty retorts, snaps his fingers, and her cuffs vanish. As Fiona rubs her wrists, he taps his watch. "Hmm... that's all I have for now, so... Time for training!"

"I don't want to," Fiona says. Just how far can she push him...?

"Too bad."

That answered that question.

"Now are we going? Or am I dragging you out one chunk at a time?" Moriarty asks, looking at his nails as if her answer didn't really matter. (It didn't.)

"Keep your shirt on, I'm coming," Fiona grumbles, rising from her spot on the concrete floor. "Although I am interested in how exactly you'd train a dismembered protégé."

"With great effort!" comes the cheerful reply.

----

"First, I’m going to teach you a very important part of running this operation," Moriarty tells her as they stroll into a warehouse. She has no idea where they are- planewalking definitely broadens one's options for evil hideouts, she supposes.

Most of the goons that catch sight of them avert their eyes and scurry in the other direction. She wishes she could too, but Moriarty has a grip on her shoulder- she swallows her discomfort and pipes up. "So it's not just fancy suits and maniacal laughter?"

"No, those are just perks," Moriarty responds without skipping a beat. "Respect. Respect is important. There’s someone here who has disrespected me. We’re going to make sure he doesn’t do that anymore."

"What'd he do?" Fiona quips. "Stole your ice cream money? Broke your Action Man?"

"Someone’s been skimming off top of their transactions," Moriarty says, and gestures to a scrawny man being held by two guards. The man flinches when Moriarty makes eye contact with him, and cowers when the mastermind strides forward to speak. "Thought you could fuck me over, did you?!" He leans in to yell in the man's face. "DID YOU?!"

"Seems to me like he already regrets his situation," Fiona says quietly.

Moriarty steps back to stand next to her and draws a knife out of his jacket pocket. "He skimmed off the top of my money so I say... we skim off the top of his head."

Fiona looks at him blankly. Moriarty rolls his eyes and clarifies. "Cut off his ears... and make him eat them."

The man blubbers and starts to cry. Moriarty flips the handle towards Fiona expectantly, who flinches as if it might jump and bite her. She stammers. "Are you sure this is… necessary?" She grasps for something, any excuse to get out of this. "It just- uh- seems like a lot of effort to deal with all of this personally..."

"This is what we call a teachable moment! You see- if you don’t make people respect you, they'll just take it as permission to walk all over you."

"Can't you get respect by, you know… treating people like people?"

"No," Moriarty shakes his head. "That only works in la-la land... and in Philadelphia. AND I DON'T SEE ANY CHEESESTEAKS, NOW DO WHAT I ASKED!"

She reels backwards at his screaming, and unconciously takes a few steps towards the captive instead, who is whimpering and sobbing. Like a switch was flipped, Moriarty grins widely and gives her a thumbs-up. "Go on!"

Her throat is bone-dry. Her voice comes out hoarse. "My hand is shaking."

"Rule number one," Moriarty reminds her. "It hurts more when you hesitate."

It's like her arm is detatched from her body. It moves on its own, drawing the blade closer. It cuts cleanly, and the distant thought occurs to her that the knife must be very sharp. Blood drips off the blade and onto the floor, stark red against the gray.

Blood pools on the ground and stains her fingers. There's an incessant loud noise droning on in the background, and Fiona resists the urge to cover her ears.

Moriarty is clapping. "Is this how proud parents feel? I never got this feeling from my kids." He gestures for the guards to drag the man closer. He hasn't stopped screaming. He stops, briefly, to swallow, when she places the severed ears into his mouth, and then Fiona doesn't see what happens, because she's vomiting onto the floor.

She retches and gags and sobs and by the time she comes back to herself enough to think, the man is gone, and Moriarty is clapping her on the back, talking at her as if she's in any state to pay attention.

"Honestly, it looks like you were dressed by a pedophile with a doll fetish- oh wait! You were."

The world swims before her eyes, and she takes in a deep, shuddering breath. Shoves the images in her mind away. Stands up straight. Don't think about it.

"I think you would look good in a suit," Moriarty muses.

Fiona can't stop a laugh from escaping. It wasn't particularly funny. Her voice comes out sounding like it belongs to someone else. "Matching outfits? Really?"

"Please. Female crime bosses have to work twice as hard to get half the respect. I’m helping you." Moriarty takes her hand and swings it between them like a loving father. "Now let’s go shatter that glass ceiling!"

----

Several hours later, Moriarty sits at his desk. Fiona, for her part, is standing in the corner doing her best to avoid attracting his attention. Doing her best to keep her mind blank. She shifts uncomfortably in her new suit- not because it doesn't fit, but because it's a mirror of Moriarty's outfit.

The mastermind spins around in the chair like an excited toddler, beaming at her. "You did excellently today- I'll give you a reward. Come here."

It's a simple demand, and an enticing prospect. Moriarty waits for her, entirely unreadable, betraying no hints for what the "reward" will be.

Her legs aren't moving.

Moriarty smiles and repeats himself. "Come here."

She doesn't want to. "Can I- can I stay here?"

"Ah, that's very polite, asking for permission," the man nods, approvingly, before continuing, "You may not."

Haltingly, she shuffles over to him, defiantly stopping a bit away. Oddly, he doesn't seem to notice her hesitation- or, more likely, just chooses to ignore it. He draws her into his arms, running a hand through her hair, forcing her to look into his eyes. His voice is quiet. Hushed. "You're so tiny."

She blinks. Why-

Abruptly, he runs his fingers through her hair, down the back of her neck, and every muscle in her body braces for pain- but instead, he guides her to sit on the floor, resting a hand on her shoulder. Before she can fully process what's happening, he's tied a blindfold around her head, plunging her world into blackness, binding her hands in front of her-

She closes her eyes as she feels the telltale pinpricks of tears forming at the corners of her eyes. "Please," she whimpers, but he only shushes her. All she can hear are his shoes tapping against the floor, and touch is the only sense she still has- but it's okay. It's going to be okay. She did what he asked. He said this was a reward. It's okay-

And then she feels something caress her shoulder.

Fiona flinches, her back arching against the sudden touch. Moriarty hushes her. She can feel his breath against the back of her neck. The tears spill over, soaking into the blindfold and running down her face, dripping off her chin. Moriarty stops tracing her arm and gently wipes her cheek with a finger.

She never gets used to it- every time she thinks she's getting used to the pattern, the awful cold feeling of his fingers all over her, he'd drag his nails across her cheek, she'd feel his tongue in her ear, kisses pressed to the back of her neck, and her whole body would spasm with shock, with terror. Moriarty holds her close, stroking her hair, her face, and for just a split second, she's back with her family- she can't bring herself to move away, she can't. Not even when the cold steel of a blade presses against her bare cheek.

"Hold still now…"

Pain. Sharp and white-hot, like fire magic. She bites her tongue to keep from screaming as the blade draws four shallow lines across her skin. She can feel the blood run down her cheek and her breath hitches, a sob tearing itself free from her chest. Moriarty hums, pressing a wet cloth against the burning sensation, and Fiona clutches at his suit coat, heaving shudering breaths. "What did you..."

The man shushes her. The washcloth is removed, and Fiona winces, but the fiery feeling has mostly faded away. In its wake is a peculiar sensation on her cheek- like exposed skin hitting air.

Ever so gently, Moriarty traces along her cheek, in a peculiar pattern that she can't quite place.

|\/|

"Congratulations, my dear protégé."

His voice follows her into unwilling sleep.

[meowsgirldrawing]

Dorian and his elven daughter

Word Count- 2,706

AO3- Link

Masterlist- Link

“Oh, fuck that.”

Dorian laughs, gripping the amulet in his hand tightly. His laugh echoes against the interior of his office, which is big enough to be considered a master bedroom honestly. He hears Bellatrix’s giggles emit from the crystal as his calms. 

“I mean, the guy acts like an indecent asshole-” 

 “Are there any decent ones?”

 “ You would know. ANYWAY-,”

 Dorian bursts into more laughter.

 “then turns around, acting shocked when you give it back to him- mind you, in a civilized manner. Jeez. Tevinter sounds  great. ” She retorts, causing him seconds from wheezing in his chair.

 After a moment, he breaths. He leans back in his chair and chuckles finally evening out. His hand holds against his chin, smiling wryly, “Maybe you can come to the next Imperial sphere, it’ll be grand! We can comment on the man’s attire- scare him into thinking the worst.”

 “  Oh dear! I saw the Inquisitor and Magister Pavus speaking ill, I hope my luscious seat still shines afterward! ” Her voice deepens, the scornful attempt at a Tevinter accent could make his grandparents and father turn in their graves. 

 “I thought you didn’t like your former title though? A change of heart maybe?” He teases.

 “Dor Dor, I’ve had to accept by now that it will follow me to my grave and even afterwards, whether I want it to or not. Might as well get some use of it.” She shrugs in spite of the fact he can’t see it, “Especially against some entitled, fucking wise-ass who tries to insult one of my favorite nieces.”

 “Yes well, you’ll be glad to know that he not only looked like the most miserable, silliest person there, but I saw him practically run out with his tail between his legs soon after.

 She snickers, “Good.”

 “Thankfully, there was no falter in the new arrangements so everyone matter-of-factly expected Briva and I at the next gathering without trouble.”

 A low whistle, “Damn, Dor, look at youuuu! Already some change in the social rank. Metaphorically, of course.”

 He sighs, running a hand through his hair, “Tis similar, still have much more work that will last well over a lifetime or two.”

 “Yeah, well- good thing you- wait… FUCK! TURNIP, NO!-” A thud, Bellatrix coughs, and some shuffling.  Dorian pauses, looking down at the crystal in his palm. It flicks from light to off, indicating more to the commotion. He hesitates, “Bella?” He taps it, all the same of knowing it’s alright- just something to check, “Bellatrix? Is everything alright?”

 Soon, the crystal shines bright again with the elf’s voice coming through, albeit, breathless.

“The dog…jumped..on me.” More shuffling, “I think he heard my.. grt- whistling. …This is why I’m a cat person.”

 He breaks into laughter as she huffs, “Are you alright?” 

 “Wouldn’t you like to know, fucker.” She growls, her tone still light.

 “Ass.”

 “Shit-talker.”

He goes to continue their game when he notices Gilmi, one of the head servants of his household, standing nervously by the door, waiting patiently.

“Bella?”

 “Yeah? Is everything alright?” She clearly picked up his change of tone.

 “Not sure. I’ll send back for you once I’m done.”

 “Got it, Dor Dor. Tell Briva her favorite Aunt said hi.”

 He motions for the servant to come in, snickering, “You know she has close to 6 other Aunts, yes?”

 “Un-noted. Take care.”

“You do the same.” The connection cuts and he stashes the amulet carefully back into his desk, giving the servant his full attention.

 “Is something the matter, dear?”

 “Not…exactly sir, Miss Briva is the library. Uhm, something occurred and now she’s scared. Mister Jervah told me to just come get you.”

 The moment Dorian heard the second line, he jerked from his chair, his gut clenched. He doesn’t waste time, quickly thanking the elf before making his way down to the library. The clicking of boots doesn’t help his nerves. They only add to the ever-growing fear, his hands tight, and mind racing at any horror his daughter was frightened of. 

Possibilities flood though. An assassin paid to kidnap or hurt her-  Well, he knows the guards would have stopped and alerted him immediately, but still….  An animal at the window?-  Briva absolutely adores them, she would have been running in, wanting to show him honestly.  A book she shouldn’t have read,  Then again, he holds all of the spell tomes or spell-based ones on a high shelf or locked in his office, safe……STILL-

 Arriving at the doors, he makes haste in opening and coming through.

  All right, time to throw all the previous worries out the window, along with his sanity- specifically the barely hanging nail one from across the room, shattered glass scattered around on on top of the window seal.  One that completes the look of a tornado, fire, and ice-mixed wonderland. 

Books are thrown off shelves, some burned with others frozen in crystal cold. The curtains scorched from the bottom up, continuous crackles hitting his ears.  The floor has puddles of water, as well as short layers of ice in some spots- his foot almost slips but he steadies himself on a half-burned desk near the door. 

 He trudged slowly around the room, tensely looking everywhere with wide, fearful eyes, also casting out swift but small spells to counter the others. All the while, calling out for his little girl. Fear has him caged at this point; with all this mass of destruction, no wonder his little one was terrified. 

“Briva, darling. Papa’s here, I-”

 “Ser Pavus,”

 He turns, presently holding a piece of paper, one that Briva had obviously been working on beforehand. The ink was fresh and oily.

 “Jervah, where’s my daughter?” Maintaining his calm and ever-resounding nature in his voice. In spite of this, the older elf looks upon him with understanding. He motions towards the door across the library. It’s an extra room, made specifically for when he and Briva are focusing on her studies.

 As Dorian crosses the foothold, Jervah speaks up assuringly, “I let the others know to leave you two be. You will need it.” Not understanding this but knowing he will soon, the Magister nods, before returning to his most important.

He casts a minor spell, a light orb that lights up the room. “Briva?...Briva, honey.” His voice is tight, trying his damndest to sound heartening-  despite his own heart currently moving-

 He stops at the shuffling. Moving the orb closer in its direction, he sees a small figure under the middle table- scooting further under it as if to hide from the light. He sighs, relief flooding over him when realization hits. 

 Dorian takes his time, hands behind his back as he sends multiple orbs around corners of the room, lighting it up more until it turns into a soft, light blue hue. Her favorite color.

 “...Briva? Is everything alright, my dearest?”

 She doesn’t respond, concealing her face in her knees, arms wrapped around her tightly. With a kneel, he takes notice of the ice around her fingertips.

 Oh..

 He blinks.

 So that’s what happened….Another wave of relief,  Her powers just manifested. That’s all..

 Now, he speaks up, “Briva, dear, are you alright? Are you hurt?”

 She takes a moment before shaking her head, just barely. “Do you want to come out?”

 Another shake of the head.

 “Alright,” He sits down and tucks his legs under him. His robes fell around him, touching the ice residue and crowding around the two of them. She moves her head up quickly.

 “No!”

 He stops, looking at her.

 She gnaws on her lip. Her eyes were blotchy and red, with tears streaming down her bubbly cheeks as her pointed ears droop slightly. 

  “Y-you’re gonna mess up y-your outfit.”

 Dorian can’t help himself- a short laugh escapes from him. Mae, the loving sport, was always saying how Briva could be his blood by how she acted at times; it’s clear as ever even now. Still chuckling at her confused and worried look, he gently coaxes her out from the table. 

 “Please, it’ll soon be water. It’s fine, I promise.”

 She’s hesitant, bunching her light florid, green dress in her tiny hands. Reluctantly she moves and settles into his lap. Now sensing she wasn’t in trouble, she buried her face into his chest. Unfortunately, she starts tearing up again when his arms wrap around her in a tight, but soft cradle. 

 The patient quietness gets mellowed out as Dorian runs a soothing hand through her curly hair, “Are you alright, my dear?”

 She doesn’t speak but nods. “What about your hands? Are they cold?”

 A pause before another small nod.

 “Here.” With an easy hand, he warms it just enough yet pauses when she flinches. He frowns, concerned. Briva has never been afraid of his magic. Nor Mae’s, Estel’s, or any other of her mage Aunts and Uncles. Curious yes, but never frightened. Only when she sees it in public or from other Magisters in general is when she gets somewhat nervous- that’s when he pulls her closer as to soothe her thoughts. 

  Kaffas- she just discovered herself that she has mage blood and after experiencing something such that is emotionally reeling to most young ones- especially at her age!  Dorian curses inwardly at himself.  The first thing I go and do is use one of the main elements.

 Dorian moves his hand away an inch, “Is this alright, dear?”

She looks up before glancing down at his hand. She gives a small nod and lends her hand back. 

 As the frost disappears from her fingers, Dorian leans his back on the table side. It digs into his upper back, but he pays it no mind. He could care less when his daughter is his main concern at the moment. 

 “What happened?”  Her body stills at the question. 

 “Briva?” 

 “... I-im sorry.. ” Dorian tilts his head, “Whatever for, my dearest?”

 Her hands wipe her eyes, sniffling and whimpering. “I  ruined  the Library. The b-books are ruined! I-i didn't mean to- I was only reading what Mister Jervah gave me and then-,” A small sob escapes her, tearing at his heart. Every urge in his body fights against the instinct to hug her tightly to him, to hide her away from it; as much as he wants to, she needs some room to speak.

“A-and then! -Ice and fire came… I think I h-hurt Mr.Jervah!” Briva cries.

 “Mr.Jervah said he was alright, dear. No need to worry.” He assures, brushing the curly hair from her face. 

 “B–b-but, in the Library! I-” 

 “The books, curtains, and any other affected object there can be replaced. You cannot, however.”

 Briva looks down as her hands fumble in her lap. “..I’m sorry, papa..”

 Dorian smiles, pulling her closer, “Briva, darling.”

 She glances back up. The tears get gently wiped away by him, swiftly pulling down his long sleeve to dry her cheeks. As he does this, he continues, “Dear, you know what happened exactly, yes?”

 She pauses. “I’m like Papa?”

 He chuckles, nodding along, “Yes, you have what many consider, mage blood. You will learn more as you grow, but, “ He adjusts himself, still holding Briva in his lap, “You understand what that means, correct.” He checks.

 “Yes, But,” She bites her cheek, “Isn’t it…dangerous? Aunt Mae said some people think mages are scary.”

 He sighs, “Unfortunately people believe that, of course. It’s just like how many believe your other father is a scary beast all because of his appearance.”

 “But father is nice! He’s not a beast.” 

 “I know that. But it’s an undeserving fact, sadly.”

 She goes quiet again. A less tight grip on her dress, the same one that bundles around her, barely touching the ground underneath her father’s lap. She studies the way to fabric lay, thinking through her next words. Dorian is patient, only humming and brushing through her hair contently.

 She’s hesitant, “ Can I…can I use my magic like yours?” She looks up, “Like how you used it to help Aunt Bellatrix and Estel?” 

 He smiles as she continues, “You said you only use it when the aid for people is needed, you helped people…I wanna do that.”

 “With time and careful studies, indeed. It can be done, my dearest.” 

 It’s almost like she was never crying, never scared- her bright smile grew on her face before she erupted in giggles and hugged him. Like every time, he never hesitates to reciprocate, holding her close as chuckles leave him.

After leading her out of the study, Dorian and Briva find Jervah standing near the entrance of the Library. His grin matches Dorian's, as he greets Briva, who runs up to him with a worry in her brow. “Mister Jervah! Are you alright?”

 The older man chuckles, kneeling down, “I am alright, madam. No need to worry.” She gives a shy smile and hugs him.

 As Briva talks with Jervah, Dorian’s happiness starts to dwindle. Slowly and awfully as new anxiety kicks in.  She’s a mage.  His hidden gaze ponders over his daughter, who’s giggling as Jervah holds her up.

  An elven mage….In Tevinter .

 She’s going to have many troubles try and run through her. People are going to look upon her as nothing other than a unique piece for a stealer’s collection, or an unwanted soon enemy.  People will want to hurt her..  His darling little girl.  The dear one that his husband, Fuliz, saved close to 6 years ago.

 Well….He perks up, “Briva?”

 She looks over, smiling, “Yes, Papa?”

 “Would you like to go with Miss Gilmi and get cleaned up? Papa and Jervah will take care of things here.”

 She tilts her head, “Surely I can at least gather the saved books?”

  Oh bless her , he instead shakes his head but keeps his smile plastered, “I’m quite sure, my dearest.” Leaning down, he welcomes her quick hug, placing a kiss on her head, “Run along now, we’ll be fine.”

 With a nod and a small grin, she does so. Grabbing onto Gilmi’s outreached hand, she waves as the two leave. 

 He waves back, waiting for them to be completely out of view before he speaks in a quiet but firm tone, “Jervah, for now on: please notify the guards and staff to keep an extra eye on all entrances, no matter the circumstances. And if anything happens that concerns Briva or strange behavior from staff, tell me immediately.”

 “Of course, sir.” Jervah bows, and makes his way out. Dorian turns, hands behind his back as he casts out spells. As chairs and tables float back to positions, the curtains being pulled down for replacement, and frost being melted and dried away, he stands near the window. His eyes ogle at the gate that guards his home.

  He once felt shame and dishonor for who he was, for where he was from, for his decisions on who to love and be around.  He feels his jaw clench,  no matter what, he will make absolutely sure Briva will not ever feel the same still lingering feeling he feels now. 

 While his fears from before have just become stilling nightmares and comments he can now brush off without a blink, 

 While he now has a wonderful and sweet husband waiting to come visit him and their girl in between mercenary missions, 

 While he has multiple friends all over Thedas that wouldn’t think twice to help him when heeded- 

 The judgment and disdain from his peers continue like an endorsed flame. People look upon him and send assassins of words or people in their wake, in their distaste. People fight to stop his coming dent in their country, and all would turn towards his little girl when she joins his side. All for her pointed ears and now magic. 

 Well…he smirks lightly, spinning back to the room and out the door.

They best send their biggest armies at him and his own growing power, cause the Fade will have to destroy itself before he allows any of them to even step a foot near her.

  She is his daughter, no matter the blood. As long as he lives and breathes, she doesn’t have to be afraid. Never like he once was.

[misspayn-e]

Your Spinning Me Around

(1998) Matt Stone x Black!Assistant Reader

Pt.2/A visit to the beginnings of… Baseketball? Your not sure.

Why… was… what…who… you look around not sure what to do what to say. You just came to drop by, whatever the hell this was. It was there big “new movie”

What the hell was a Baseketball? You slightly snap your fingers from behind your back. There’s the question you were look for.

“Nice skirt assistant” he acted like a ghost he just pops out of no where. Maybe you should stay more focused

“You shouldn’t say that but okay” you scoff tapping your heel on the set “I know but…still did” he smiles tilting his head for Christ sakes get out of character for two days Stone.

“I need to talk to you” you didn’t like those words though. It was your job… oh god… did you not like your job?

“What’s up? Miss me?” He looks at you curiously as he crosses his arms. Now that’s serious… you felt like well like you were blushing at the mere fact of him paying close attention to something about you, so ill. Not like it doesn’t show up unless you make a face.

“Well I was wondering…” you talked. This was your just relationship though, talking and even more talking honestly sometimes you put your head in Matt’s when you’d ramble. It looks peaceful when he looks at you. When your both duh, serious I mean… uh… well

“That sound good?” Matt asks you look at him a little shocked was he talking just now..? “Of course yeah I’ll get going then” you close the folder full of papers some you didn’t know were for. Remind yourself you went to school for this.

“You don’t have to leave” he offers like there was a reason to stay! For this mess? “Thanks for offering sir” you stand up once again smoothing your skirt

“Your clueless I can tell, do you even know what I do?” Could this boy not? Keeping you over time and shit! “I do yes” you step back a bit trying to scurry “what is it then?”

What did he want you to say? Goof off? Make fart jokes? Play with construction paper? Out-of-control binges in Las Vegas? “I really should go I have things to take care of”

“Like your job?” he can’t do that! God damn comedian. “I’ll see you later-“ “see me now” he raises an eyebrow.

You slowly sit back down next to him inches away, you see he had traits like any guys. He always knew what exactly what he was doing. He exactly knew how to get you to stay.

“This is definitely nice” he taps his foot staring off into the sky the sun going down, almost night meaning filming time. You didn’t reply you didn’t need to… you didn’t want to

“Right? Come on man” you shrug a bit still staring at your heels “yes sir” he lets out a groan “your way to professional” he gets closer he gets too personal… what you would give to say, get out of my god damn grill.

“How can I not be professional?” He didn’t understand “you know just… well?” He try’s to explain “well?” “Well…? well… dude your not even interest South Park, Me? None of it”

Because you weren’t. None of things you even wanted to try to understand. Maybe this whole thing was a huge misunderstanding. What the hell was he looking for? You can wrap your head around it. Your giving him what he wants fucking… free time to think! His partner Trey the sleeze didn’t even have that.

“Your a… anomaly girl” fuck him… using fancy words you cross your arms slightly using the word “girl”. What the hell is a anomaly?

You catch yourself parting your lips slightly to speak, but quickly closing your lips as he looks over to you. Though that look of his… desperate. Keeping this thought to yourself, it was definitely something… something about his face…

“Whatever your great anyways it must be hard dealing with me, or whatever is preventing you from not speaking” don’t do that… lord please… don’t make him open up… you didn’t want to understand this. Did you?

[honourablejester]

Random Interlude

My father, while we were talking about Shannara and Wishsong of Shannara and Slanter the gnome and pragmatic cowards with a badly hidden honourable streak, reminded me of another rank cad and shirker and dishonourable coward, with not so much of a honourable streak: Colonel Thomas Blood, from George MacDonald Fraser’s ‘The Pyrates’ (yes, based -if loosely- on the historical Colonel Thomas Blood, the one who tried to steal the crown jewels, had a chat with the king, and got off scott free from it). The Pyrates is one of the original golden age of piracy spoofs, written in the 1980s, and primarily follows Captain Benjamin Avery of the King’s Navy, a fully over the top parody of a classic swashbuckling hero, who gets embroiled in the theft and search for a jewelled crown that’s been taken and split into six parts by a cadre of pirate captains (who, again, are ‘loosely’ based on RL golden age pirates). But also embroiled in said mess, as a counterpoint, is our own Irish Colonel Thomas Blood, who is, to put it mildly, a card-carrying scoundrel.

Now, this was from the 80s, and a parody, so the treatment of various topics and the behaviour of some of the characters is a bit … yeah. But. I do enjoy it for what it is, and I’ll always remember one particular Blood and Avery moment, very early in the book. Blood has gotten in a fight with Avery, thinking the dashing blond idiot will be easy to knock off, and then he can snaffle the crown for himself. But he gets injured during the fight, which will ID him if anyone goes looking for whoever knocked off Avery on deck during the night, so he has to recalculate and make Avery believe it on the fly. So he decides to abruptly, mid-fight, to disarm the man with a dirty trick and then pretend to be another Admiralty agent sent to shadow and test Avery, and we get this gem:

---

“All right, all right!” Blood interrupted warmly. “Can you think of a better cover?” he asked knowingly.

“You mean,” whispered Avery incredulously, “that you’re not really a notorious foul villain of ill repute—”

“Rank repute.”

“— Rank repute and noisome infamy, steeped i’—”

“If I was, you wouldn’t be standing here running off at the mouth, remember?” snapped Blood. “Some of us,” he went on virtuously, “don’t mind being given a bad name if it enables us to serve his majesty better. We don’t insist on going poncing about like Sir Walter Raleigh. We are content to wear,” he added bitterly, “dishonour’s mask in honour’s cause.” Here, that’s not bad, he thought; a nifty to remember.

---

I just love that abrupt mid-combat switch, where the murder failed, so it’s time for a quick change-of-pace con to get him back out of the hole again. And Avery, being a very logical and virtuous hero-type, and also familiar with the British Admiralty and their tendency to just do things and not tell the Joe Soaps on the ground about it, buys this hook line and sinker. And is all anguished that he failed the test, and is found wanting, and not only doubted but wounded this ‘honest, sturdy gentleman’. They head back below decks arm in arm, and as they part:

---

There they bade each other a comradely good-night, and sought their respective cabins, Avery thinking, what a worthy fellow, and Blood thinking, what an amazing birk.

---

It is a fun book, and Blood is easily the best part of it. ‘Here, that’s not bad, he thought; a nifty to remember.’ It’s a great line, dishonour’s mask in honour’s cause, and he’s just making it up off the cuff based on what he thinks this idiot will swallow.

You’ve got to love a quick-thinking swindler, even when he’s got no particular morals to speak of. Just for the craft. Heh.

[mesillusionssousecstasy]

The Idol 1x01: Quotes

“- But what is the image saying? (Xander) - That she’s young, beautiful, and damaged. (Nikki) - Sh... - Eh, not damaged. She had problems that she overcame beautifully. (Nikki) - O-Okay. Uh, the robe, the hospital wristband. (Xander) - Mm-hmm.  - I mean, are we romanticizing mental illness? (Xander) - Absolutely. (Nikki) - And you’re fine with that? That’s cool? (Xander) - You people are so out of touch. (Nikki) - You people? (Xander) - You college-educated internet people. (Nikki) - Okay, yeah. You’re criticizing me for going to college. (Xander) - Oh, will you let people enjoy sex, drugs, and hot girls, okay? Stop trying to cock-block America. (Nikki) - No, Nikki, I’m not some sort of prude. I just don’t think that with everything that she has been through, she should be wearing a hospital wristband. (Xander) - Mental illness is sex. (Nikki) - No, it’s not. (Xander) - Yeah. If you live in Sioux City, Iowa, you are never gonna meet a girl like Jocelyn. She’s not walking down the street, she didn’t got to your high school, she doesn’t work at the bar or the diner, and she did not marry your best friend. And if, on the off chance, she did, she is still never, ever gonna fuck you. Unless, she has some very, very serious mental problems. And that right there is why mental illness is sexy.” (Nikki)

“- According to the nudity rider, we only can show the side boob, the under boob, and the side flank. (the intimacy coordinator) - I didn’t ask. She did it. (the photograph) - Okay, so I’m not allowed to show my body? (Jocelyn) - Not in the general, like, human rights structure of it all. (the intimacy coordinator) - You realize how fucking annoying and insane that sounds? (Xander) - It’s actually very progressive. It’s to make sure she doesn’t feel pressured. (the intimacy coordinator) - Right. I don’t feel pressured. (Jocelyn) - Fully respect that. (the intimacy coordinator) - This is her album cover. (Xander) - It’s also my boob and my house. (Jocelyn) - Fully respect body autonomy.” (the intimacy coordinator)

- “Hey! You! Come here! You want $ 5′000? You keep this door shut for the next three hours. Hold it. You gotta hold it really hard. (Chaim) - Who’s in here? (a guy) - All right? None of your business. Just take it or leave it, yes? Yeah? Okay, good. (Chaim) - Yeah, yeah.” (a guy)

“- No one’s having a pschotic... Let’s all calm down. (Benjamin) - Yeah, please.(Chaim) - Deep breath. Kay. I’m gonna give some information. I need it to be received peacefully, calmly. Okay? We’re the number one trending topic on Twitter. (Benjamin) - Okay. All right. (Nikki) - It’s not... (Benjamin) - No. I find out who did this. May God have mercy on their fucked up, depraved soul. Okay?” (Chaim)

“- It’s gotta say, it’s gotta say “revenge porn”. It’s gotta say “revenge porn” or they’re not gonna take it down (on the phone). - Andrew Finkelstein (at the gate). - Do you have ID? (security guard) - No, I’m from Live Nation. I’ve been here many, many times. (Andrew) - That’s great. Do you have ID? (security guard) - No, I don’t fucking have ID! (Andrew) - There’s a lotta people here today. We can’t let anyone in without an ID. (security guard) - Jesus fucking... Okay, let me deal with this fuckin’jabroni. Hang on. I’m gonna Google myself. Here, watch this. Ready? “Andrew Finkelstein, Live Nation”. What? Whoa! Who’s that? Huh? See that punim? See this face? See that face? Wow, they’re similar. (Andrew) - Okay, okay, sir, calm down. You don’t have to be so rude about it. I’ll get this figured out, okay? (security guard) - Yeah, I don’t have to be so rude. You know, my fucking star client has face full of cum. I’m not rude. (Andrew) - Mr. Finkelstein. So sorry for the inconvenience. (security guard) - Now you’re sorry. Thank you. (Andrew) - Right this way. (security guard) - You’re mensch. Wonderful fucking service.” (Andrew)

“- Lock him in a closet, too? (Destiny) - Remind me to let that guy out at some point, but not yet. (Chaim)

“- You know, you worry too much. Just relax. (Chaim) - I worry too much. My shareholders think I worry too little. You know, every time I fuckin’ breathe in and out, I hemorrhage money for Christ’s sake.” (Andrew)

“- Oh, there’s no shame in being a slut, case in point. I’m just worried she’s having another psychotic break. (Andrew) - No, no, she never had a psychotic break. Never had one. She was just exhausted and she was tired. (Destiny) - She’s a trouper. She reminds me of myself at that age. Okay, the thought of you younger is terrifying to me. (Benjamin) - I was having fun. I was getting fucked in the ass of the Capital Records building stairwell and then walking straight into meetings. (Nikki) - Yeah, I remember. I was the one fucking you. (Andrew) - Jesus Christ! (Benjamin) - Learn form the best. (Andrew) - Can I just remind everybody that we have “Vanity Fair” with us today? So, if we could just... keep the shit-talk to a... (Benjamin) - Oh, my God! Having her around is like living in communist China. (Nikki) - Benjamin, did you get the revised statement from Holly? (Andrew) - Revenge porn? (Benjamin) - Yeah, exactly that. Make sure that every dipshit with a keyboard has it spoon-fed down their fuckin’throat. (Andrew) - But it’s true? (Benjamin) - Well, if we say it it. (Andrew) - I’m in a “Twilight Zone” episode. (Benjamin) - All right, people. (Andrew) - Okay, see you later. (Nikki) - We live to fight another day.” (Andrew)

“- Tomorrow, I wanna wake up to, uh, like, 150 Google Alerts telling me Jocelyn’s some kind of feminist hero, right? (Nikki). - Okay. Yeah, me too. (Benjamin) - You can do that. (Nikki) - But I’m gonna start with victim and move up from there. (Benjamin) - Yeah well, it’s the same difference. (Nikki) - I don’t understand anything. How could it possibly be any fucking worse? Just tell me a scandal that was worse, recently! (Chaim - we don’t want to know). - She’s coming out of it more famous than when she came in. And that’s! That’s the win. Let’s just put it that way.” (Benjamin)

- “Ah, you’re dangerous. I mean, how could anyone not fall in love with you? (Tedros) - I don’t even know you. (Jocelyn) - You fit perfectly in my arms.” (Tedros)

- “What a fuckin’ boner killer. (Tedros) - I know, she prevented us from starting our family. (Jocelyn) - (...) and I hate it, and you’re gonna hate it, too. (Jocelyn) - You hate it? How can you put out something you hate? (Tedros) - Well, you obviously don’t work in the music industry. Pop music is just... superficial. (Jocelyn) - I think Prince would disagree with you. (Tedros) - I love Prince. (Jocelyn) - Are you gonna call “When Doves Cry” fuckin’ superficial? (Tedros) - No, I love that song. (Jocelyn) - If that song came out today, it’d be a smash tomorrow. (Tedros) - So, all I have to do is make music like Prince? (Jocelyn) - I didn’t say that. (Tedros) - Easy. I’ll just do that. (Jocelyn) - No... I didn’t say that. (Tedros) - Why didn’t I think of that? (Jocelyn) - You can’t make music like Prince. Pop music is like the ultimate Trojan Horse. Ya get people to dance, ya get people to sing along. Could say whatever you want. Shit’s powerful. (Tedros) - I like you. (Jocelyn) - I like you, too. You got the best job in the world. Should be having way more fun. (Tedros) - I’m trying.” (Jocelyn) While playing “Pieces of Your Heart” by Meduza & Goodboys)

“- Did it hurt? That photo? The betrayal of it? (Talia from Vanity Fair) - Of course. But, I mean, what am I supposed to do? (Jocelyn) - I don’t know. Fuck up the guy that did it to you. (Talia) - Like in the piece you’re writing? (Jocelyn) - Yeah, actually. I think it would be inspirational for young women and girls all around the world who have been targeted and humiliated in the way you were. (Talia) - Revenge is empowerment? (Jocelyn) - It’s human, I think. (Talia) - Look, I mean. I think... five years ago when people would tell me that it was important to comment on something publicly, I would buy into it. But now I just know that I’m being hustled. (Jocelyn) - Yeah, I mean, obviously, my editor is breathing down my neck, gun to my back, trying to get me to get you to talk about this photo. It’s all anyone can talk about. (Talia) - I get it. We all have to answer to somebody. (Jocelyn) - Who do you answer to? (Talia) - God.” (Jocelyn - Wrong, the public opinion).

“- I don’t know. I haven’t done anything in, like, a year. And I just feel like people are, like, waiting for me to fail. And I just don’t wanna, like prove them right. (Jocelyn) - Yeah, but, Joss, you always do this. You always second-guess yourself right before something comes out. You’re just gonna drive yourself crazy. (Leia) - I just don’t wanna, like, make a fool of myself. I don’t want people to, like, make fun of me. (Jocelyn) - They are not. Trust me. It’s good. It’s, like, really good. (Leia) - (....) What’s wrong with him? (Jocelyn) - He’s so rape-y. (Leia) - Yeah, I kinda like that about him. (Jocelyn) - Joss... No. Gross. So disturbing.” (Leia)

“- Hello, Angel. (Tedros) - You call all the girls Angel? (Jocelyn) - Just you. (Tedros) - Yeah right. (Jocelyn) - Fuck’s up with her? She doesn’t wanna hang out with us? (Tedros) - She’s my assistant. And my best friend. (Jocelyn) - She’s your best friend and your assistant? (Tedros) - Yeah. (Jocelyn) - She’s your best friend that words for you? (Tedros) - Yeah, isn’t that nice? (Tedros) - Really? Hm. (Jocelyn) - Don’t you think that’s kinda, like a nice arrangement? Oh, for her it’s amazing. Fuck. Can I be your best friend? I’d love to get paid. (Tedros) - Can I play you my new song? (Jocelyn) - Are you desperate to put this specific song out? (Tedros) - No, I’m not desperate to put anything out, my team is. ‘Cause everyone in my life is, like, telling me that it’s really great, but I don’t believe them. (Jocelyn) - Why? (Tedros) - ‘Cause when you’re famous, everyone lies to you. (Jocelyn) - And you trust me? (Tedros) - I just think you’re enough of an asshole that you might tell me the truth. (Jocelyn) - Cheers to that. (Tedros) - I don’t know. I feel like it’s, like, too superficial or something. (Jocelyn) - (...) If you’re gonna sing a song called “I’m a Freak” you should at least sing it like you know how to fuck. You gotta stop carin’ what people think. You are too locked up in your head. (Tedros) - Yeah? (Jocelyn) - Yeah, you’re thinking too much. You need to block out the world. Feel it. Do you trust me? (Tedros) - No. (Jocelyn - Good reply!)

[azonewithu]

Hello im Emma Lawson. Please to meet you Emna i’m Collin Finely. Yes you are. Ive called you ip here to ask you about your entrance exam resukts. Really? There was an actual result to that shit? Yes snd the result was obviousky you just vuecked all B in your answering of the all the questions on the exam. Yeah thats what i always fo for those kinds if tests. And modt of thevtime i never hear back about it anyway. Yes well here you ars, i mean hearing sbout it because we check the results oursrlves. I fo i snylyzevthem snd it fidnt take long for me to conclude you didnt evrnbread the test at all. What were you doing for thecrest of the thrre hours? Hobestly i jist hot hete that day do i font renember. It was a tough sleep fowntoen in jail. Emna im dorry thats probablyvehy i just fucked off the test ok. What woukd you like me to do? I love your outfit bybthe way. Im mot tryn yo be the big flirt in loserville goofwood either but thats great haircto go eith it and the light dhones do nicrky off your eyes. What fo you do here may i ask. At dddriifft i mean Brentwood. Thank you for the compliments. You look too good looking a young man. Im older than uou Emna. I know that i can read. Uoure still young that means something, to be sitting in this place in the situation youre in. I keep trackmof all you mostly guys on the bail from jail program. Or whatever its technicsl nanebis we fall it thst here. Recovery beil rekease program they keep changing the name. Some wantvthe program done away with all together because of the far lower rate than the average of success. Andvyoure starting out in typical fashion. Not even filling out your entrance exam properly. Im sorry usually no one cares i filled outva few in the joint. Well i dont jnow which joint yourevreferring too bit this one rnters these into the vomputer. Yours cane back as not being filled put ptoperly bynthe computer then i had a look at it snd vongotmed you just checjed sll B in uour answers. Well if you give me snother cuanvmce ill CCC i fo it right this time. Ok. Ill make you and the computer happy i huess its slli can do to make it up to you. The computer i font give s fuck about. Yes uh…mind your langusgecwith ne to please Collin. Ok Emma. Heres thectest you can do it in the staff lounge. Where you fid the first time. May i have a coffee. You can. Only this time please font vkean out our coffee bar. Was thatvyou? No. Of course not. Well someobe did. Ok off uou go. Ha ha ga you say that like a school teacher. Well i was gping to be a teacher at one point but now im doing this. I lovevuour Engoish accent. Here gommevthat test ill go before i get carried away. Im just down there with a bunchnof drunk fuckn crazy men then i talk to you….-snywsyvthank you ill bring back the test when om done? No you can just put it with reception. Donitnproperlybifbit comes back this timevyouvecwssted a lot of my time. Okie dokie i got you. Whats thst in the sir it mmsnells sweet in here. Snywsy bye Emna it was reslky nice meeting you. Ok Collin goidbye good luck. Youll be up to see ne when thevresults are in. I csnt wait. Not sbout the results but to see you agsin.

Emma Watson