#yes y'all can also add stupid rules

[vivizn]

Alright everyone, who wants to play chess with me? I'll start with white and move my pawn to e4. Sadly, he tripped and fell, so he will remain on e3 until another pawn comes and helps him up

TURN 1 - WHITE

Your turn tumblr

[adventuringblind]

Drive With You Forever

Chapter 12.5: Max and His Stamina

Max Verstappen x Charles Leclerc x Lando Norris x Reader x Oscar Piastri

Chapter summary: Lando is a pain and Max takes everyone apart because of it

Warnings: sexual things ahead, very little description os said sexual things because y'all can use your imagination, definate Dom/sub things going on, rope, a lot of rope,

Notes: I wrote this with the intention of shamless smut, and then I ended up with this. I actually really enjoyed just writing the interactions between all five of them.

Previous <-

Masterlist

"This is you're fault Lando."

"Is not!"

"It definitely is."

"Pretty sure we wouldn't be here if you didn't antagonize Max."

"Is Max normally like this?"

"Only with Lando. We're innocent bystanders."

Having one person tied to each bed post is not how they envisioned ending their day. Max is nowhere is sight, and they've been waiting for him in nothing but undergarments for at least twenty minutes.

Three of them had no clue what they'd done wrong. Sure, Max had won another rave, but he'd very clearly said 'punishment' in his text after the race.

Lando had done a stupid thing a whispered in Max's ear while walking past one of his interviews. He'd yet to fess up what he'd said.

Charles is sitting with only one hand tied to the post because he'd done the other three. The other hand still has his phone to communicate with Max.

Consent is still important even if he's not in the room. And he was mildly worried that the female was going to panic that she'd done something wrong.

Oscar had only watched them do things like this and joined in a couple of times when he felt like he understood what was going on. One thing he learned early on is that Lando doesn't do what he's told unless he's in the mood to comply, and Max has less patience for that.

Charles is incredibly patient and can handle Lando. It's always shocking when Oscar sees him piss off the Dutch instead.

Oscar doesn't know where he falls yet. He's been going with the flow of things, and despite being the youngest, he quite likes telling people what to do.

"Os, Max wants me to go over rules with you while me wait." Says the Monegasque who is sitting comfortably with his knees bent.

Oscar shifts his gaze from the Brit to him. This looks much nicer than the one Lando had been receiving. "Didn't we already do this?"

"Yes, but he's being cautious."

"It's because of the Daniel incident." Says the female with no hesitation. She'd told him about it on their way to meet up at Max's hotel room a while back. They'd invited him in on something intimate for the first time, and she thought it best he knew.

They'd had discussions about everything prior. A few times, at least. But when he actually joined the first time, Max was incredibly hesitant. But he understood why and didn't take it as an insult.

"Safe words?" Charles quizzes him.

"Green for good. Yellow for slow. Red for stop." It's simple and universal for all of them. "No choking unless it's light for Charles and Lando. Don't put Y/N on her knees. Also, keep ties loose unless it's Lando. Make sure Lando communicates because otherwise, he'll let himself get hurt..." he thinks for a moment if he's missing anything.

"Anything you want to add to the list for yourself?" Asks the female.

"I've learned I don't like being hit or choked or things like that." He confesses. He's watched Charles and Lando get hit a couple of times and spanking is fun to give less fun to recieve.

"I'll add it to the list and make sure Max know as well."

They communicate so well like this. There is no shame and no secrets here.

"Lando, what did you whisper to Max to put him in a mood?" He asks. Both out of curiosity and for future reference.

"Possibly something about him not being able to take all four of us." Lando gives Oscar a cheeky smile. The other three collectively role their eyes.

"So we're here because Max has a point to prove." Charles shakes his head.

"You're not even completely tied up!" Complains the Brit.

"Max will do the other hand when he gets here, relax."

The girl pulls her knees to her chest. Her look is a bit distant, but not in an incredibly concerning way. “Max is on his way up.”

“Why do you look scared, chéri?”

She shrugs at the question. “Don’t want him to be mad.”

“Luckily for you, I think he’s only frustrated with Lando. He’s doing this as his podium celebration.” Explains Charles. She nods her head in understanding and relaxes a bit.

They hear the door unlock and Max leans in the opening of the of the room. He can perfectly see all four of them. “Everyone alright?”

Despite three saying yes, Charles begins to list off everything they’d talked about. “Os has the rules memorized now, Lando is still being petty, I couldn’t get my other hand done and needed to text you anyway, and y/n thinks you might be mad at her so reassurance is in order.”

Max makes his way over to them and gently takes Charles’ other hand. He uses the leftover rope to secure his once free hand. When he’s done he plants a kiss on Charlie’s head. “Thank you.”

Charles looks at Lando and eyes him smugly.

“So here’s what I’m thinking.” Max crosses his arms and stands at the foot of the bed. “I’m going to start with one of you, then add another, then a third, then Lando.”

“Why am I last?!”

Max shoots a glare at the Brit causing him to shut his mouth. “Because you started this. I could not let you off the rope at all.” Lando casts his eyes downward. Being last is better then nothing.

Max steps next to the female and unties Charles’ knots. He gently tugs them away from then kisses her wrists. “You’re not in trouble and I’m not mad at you.” Max pulls her into him and runs his finger across the bare spots on her body.

She sighs in content. Her body leans into him more just from the contact. Max could spend hours just memorizing her body, but he won’t torcher her. She’s done nothing wrong so there’s no need for it.

He’s got her finishing with just his tongue. The other three boys are now squirming.

Shockingly, Max goes for Oscar next. He unties his wrists and kisses them.

“Maxy, did I do something wrong?” Charles asks. It’s not whining, just confusion lacing his voice.

“Not at all, I just want things to be even, and you have been tied as long.” Max winks at him, and Charles nods in understanding.

"Perfectly honest, I have no idea what we're doing." Oscar trying to look confident but failing miserably. It doesn't help that Max is both tall and broad.

"Letting me take care of you."

Oscar hates it when his knees get weak. But he loves it when Max and Y/N are pulling him apart. Even more so as he gets to reciprocate.

To say that Charles and Lando are struggling would be an understatment. There is much more squirming then there was before.

Soon, Max is repeating his actions. Albeit more sweaty this time.

Charles had done his time and now is having his ropes untied and wrists kissed.

Charles definitely knows what he's doing as he's all over Max the second his hands are free. Charles is much more exploitative with his tongue than the rest. An advantage he uses over the other four.

It's not long until Max is picking him apart as well.

When four are heavily panting and all of them are shocked that Max is going to go another round. He eyes Lando with a cheeky smile. "Have you learned your lesson?"

Lando looks like he might cry if he doesn't have any physical contact in the next thirty seconds. He's begging Max to let him go.

When Max feels satisfied, he repeats his actions a fourth and final time. His kisses the Brit's wrists where he had been rubbing them against the rope.

Max takes his sweet time undoing Lando. His patience is immense. He's showing him just how good he takes all for them. It's meticulous, really.

Max almost collapses after everything. He didn't even know he could go for so long.

Charles disappears from the main room and comes back with towels for everyone. He passes them around and then helps Max move into something more comfortable. Practically putting on clothes for him, them covering him with a blanket. It takes thirty seconds until they can hear him snoring.

Charles sighs and shakes his head. "I hope you're proud of yourself, Lan."

Lando is still on the floor, catching his breath. He gives a thumbs up to show that he is, in fact, very proud.

Charles knows the routine and makes sure his three younger counterparts are taken care of. The female doing the same for him after she's done in the bathroom.

She hates it, but they'd learned their lesson after her first UTI.

Oscar and Lando are curled up next to Max. They leave no room on the bed for the other two.

"Max should start booking his own hotel rooms." She whispers over to Charles. "Maybe then we'll have a bigger bed."

Charles just laughs and drags her to the couch. It's not ideal, but it works.

Soon, the five are asleep. Much to the displeasure of a certain tall Australian who'd been trying to get a hold of any of them.

~

Next ->

Tags: @styles-sunflower @purplephantomwolf @boiohboii @reblog-princess-blog @jayda12 @faithm120601 @eugene-emt-roe @lpab @yaaadii @80sloverry @spongebeck3101 @eviethetheatrefreak @chanshintien @vellicora @hollie911 @pretty-little-bunny382728

[libbworl]

READ THIS BEFORE GOING TO MY BLOG OR ASKING ME ANYTHING!!!

~Intro post (updated, 1.5)~

Hello, welcome to my blog. I am libb!

I will do roleplay, but for now, my TAWoG stuff is unavailable/old rn, my TAWoG posts are my oldest ones.

For now I am posting gravity falls crap, and I like making au's.

RULES:

-please DO NOT follow or like my posts if your one of those weird adults who get a Tumblr account to show nude pics or to get an online bf/gf. IT'S SERIOUSLY GROSS AND IT MAKES ME QUESTION MY EXISTENCE. (Just don't interact period if your an adult that post's anything sexual)

-do not DM me if you are not a mutual. It's very uncomfortable for me. Plz, just... Don't... Ew.

-i'm fine with adults n stuff interacting, just, don't be weird, k? (Ps, it's good to have at least one adult mutual so they can help you with certain things and possibly keep you safe)

List of franchises/fandoms I like or can talk about :P

(these ones are the top three, I know, I'm young and stupid...)

-happy tree friends/htf

-five nights at Freddy's/fnaf

-bendy and the ink machine/batim

-cuphead (the show & game)

-undertale (a few of the AU's as well)

-hazbin hotel/helluva boss/zoophobia

-cartoon cat/Trever Henderson stuff

-regular show

-over the garden wall

-star vs the forces of evil/svtfoe

-the amazing digital circus/TADC

-SPRUNKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

-amanda the adventurer

And a note: I WILL make gore and bloody things sometimes.

Last thing: when I filter things as violent it just means there's gore.

You are aloud to:

-make fan art of my OC's and au's

-make fun of my OC's and aus

-add my OC's to ur own au's.

-go ahead and make your own fanfictions of my fanfictions!!

I have a Wattpad account now, my username is libbworl but I go by addicted to gravity falls/killer dipper, go ahead and find me on Wattpad. I'm working on some stories.

Yes, I'm fine with certain proships. Does that make me a proshipper? No. Does that make me a bad person. No

BUT Y'ALL OC X CANON, UR ALWAYS WELCOME HERE, U GUYS R MY BESTIES 🥰👍

Also, my friends list. so plz visit their blogs.

@gravityfallsaddict124

@eliqwerty-1206

@thestrangelyalwaysconfused

@cartoon-cat7241

@felissaurusrex

@17ghostsinatrenchcoat

@starheart-blog

@river-nonbinary-billcipherfan

@arandombatimfan

@strawbrryshak2

@theindescribable1

@hopskip-andajump

@anonymous-kirby

@forestblunt (my adult mutual friend, who's very kind ^^)

And do not call my characters furries as a joke, or you will be blocked

I HAVE ADHD. I AM A MINOR.

Bday is apr 24, if you wanna celebrate it!

Other blogs

@dippermpinesgftnau GFTN dipper blog

@lilipinesmaccinson lili blog

@killerdippertheawsome killer dipper au blog

@adventuretimerulez where I reblog anything Adventure time

@ask-dipper-pines-and-lili old ass dipper and lili blog

@arianaa-lion-blog my sprunki OC

@dexterellinghamOwO my fr oc with no fandom 2 be in

@adultlili which is my adult version of lili trapped in the multiverse.

And @toef where y'all can ask me and rob stuff...

Also

My tags

Click on them on the tags of my posts

#my art: where I post my art

#gravity falls: where I post gravity falls shit

#sketch: where I post random shit I sketched not on electronic

#lilidipp: where I post cute little fluff of them XD

#my animation: where I post my animations

#meme: where I post memes I did

#reblog: where I reblog

#fanart: where I post/reblog fanart of my aus/OC's

#request: where I reblog requests I asked of.

#text: where I post just text.

And

DNI:

-people who hate on other people because of no good reason.

-people who dislike OC X CANON.

-furry disrespecters (bc I'm a furry!!!)

-homophobes/LGBTQ+ haters because it's just mean and disrespectful!

-people who are sensitive to gore or anything like that (it's not mean, I just don't want people to be scared of my gore art)

-also more sensitive people to certain stuff, rarely I will post suggestive content.

People who ARE welcome.

-LGBTQ+

-(like I said) oc x canon shipper's!!!

-and a bunch other's! :D

!!!!!I do free commissions!!!!!

Info 👇

1st, I rarely do commissions in the same day you request, I draw them when I'm offline and after that, I will deliver possibly the next day.

Things I WILL do

Gore, blood, etc

Cartoon/video game/movie characters (as long as it's from a fandom I know)

OC's!

Animals, humans, furries, I can do that!

LGBTQ+

Ships!

Things I WON'T do

NSFW/p0rn (that's just a no)

Anything that has to do with LGBTQ+phobia

Any darkships like bad age gap ships (p3d0)

NSFW OC's, Because again, I don't-

And it's all for free! :3

Favorite/comfort characters :3

-tunner and owakcx (sprunki)

-dipper, ford, bill, and bipper possibly stan (gravity falls)

-papyrus, sans, and undyne (Undertale)

-wooly (Amanda the adventurer)

-ehem, um... William afton (FNaF)

-gregory (OTGW) yeah, he's just an adorable lovable kid, ok?

-caine and jax (TADC)

-finn, fern, and BMo (adventure time)

-rob and Darwin (TAWoG) I do not simp for two cyclops guys, ur lying.

-marco (SVTFOE)

-mugman and chalice (Cuphead) I ship them 🥹

-bendy, boris, Sammy Lawrence (BATIM)

A few special links I have

An animation! :3

Welp, that's all I've got...

Bye

Also here's my oc lili for kicks...

Please do not reblog this post, thanks! :)

[mmslooney007]

The (long-ish) Review No One Needed Or Asked For ™ - Till The End of the Moon

Character-wise

Li Susu is our leading lady who travels back in time before the Devil God was, well, the Devil God and just the Devil Fetus *insert snickering here* because, "Maybe I can fix him and kill him." Morally ambiguous at times? Caught between feelings and justice? Sign me up.

Tantai Jin is the Devil Fetus *more snickering* who had it rough since Day 1. He literally came out the womb and it was that time. Pathetic hostage prince, manipulator, benevolent ruler, Wife Guy-- Cang Jiumin. My guys wears hats (wigs).

I'm a Susu apologist and to all you commenters who whined, Susu just love him and stop blah blah blah, No! She understood some of the assignment. Our characters are flawed, no one is perfect, (except one (1) Square and Vixen I said what I said) and you will be suing for emotional damages.

Plot-wise

We start off in real-time, where we see the Devil God (yassified) freaking wreck the 3 realms and 4 continents. Susu enters the fight with her weapon of choice (don't bring a harp to a knife fight) and is given the artifact that will make me overthink any timeline where time travel is involved. Before she goes back, she witnesses the death of everyone she loves very conveniently, because plot, die at the hands of the CGI crew (all of whom, might I add, deserve a raise).

500 years earlier, she is inserted into the body of Abuser, Ye Xiwu. Stockholm Syndrome or True Love? We don't know, but Tantai Jin (fetus) will somehow grow to love his wife (sidenote: he totally did something to himself peep episode 5/6 where that tree thing grows)(other side note, what's up with the continuous motif of tree and feelings? see: LBFAD).

I feel like the arc within an arc, though long and somewhat useful, could have been useful-er. I'm docking points for not nodding at plot thingies more for havimg lasted about 7 episodes but having 5 relevant points to the plot. Fight me. (Also, they fall in love in this lifetime but they're not them-- it's just continued contemplation of "why was I casted as x," when they can't freaking math and make it make sense).

Then after the Great Misunderstanding of episodes 24&25, we have to see our tragic love story be more tragic and wrap up this lifetime before we go Back to the Present (Future). If you haven't already, you will be cheering on our favorite Baddie being Badder.

Then we get stupid in the immortal rea-- housing development? Cang Jiumin is Tantai Jin in a different-ish wig pre yassification. He does more cultivating. He gets more hurt and scorn. He gets some action with his wife. He gets an outfit change.

The ending? I'm sobbing. I have been touched and I'm crying as I type this.

The Good, The Bad, The WTF

I liked that they were so enemies to lovers that I honestly did not see how they were going to ever be lovers. Good.

I liked our cast of characters-- brother Qingyu is the Square, Pian Ran is our favorite Vixen, Nian Baiyu needs a raise and Xiao Lin is Just Ken. Love it.

Episodes 36 and on-- the Bad.

Episode 39-- WTF. What made him think let's have this banging Goth Wedding so you'll hate me because, "I hate you." Yes, we are pseudo sleeping together in my Bo'Re Life because, "Susu you gotta hate me too," and when will the logic ever happen? I just think he needed to think through his justifications for his advancement of death more. Felt half baked imo.

And who made the rules? I thought when he absorbs the Devil God's Favorite Things and the evil bone *persistent snickering* then it was evil onsite? Last time I checked, Jin was still home.

Who decided Sang Jiu taking away Ming Ye's voice during The Sex was sexy (see: a dream within a dream)?!

Why did y'all embrace the freaking Lord of Evil when he's called The LORD of EVIL. Get me outta the simulation!

Shoutout

To the Viki comments section. Y'all was the best of all'em. From Naruto, to Death Note, Rolex and Nasa, and Team Rocket. I was rolling.

My Rating...

8/10 for Tantai Jin's outfits as Emperor and Devil God.

I like 'em bad.

[remakethestars]

RAVENCLAW 💙🦅🤎

Headcanons.

❝Even in the blackness, light can be found. My enemy can be outsmarted.❞

— Alex Hirsch, Journal 3

This is my house, y'all; buckle up!

Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, & Slytherin. Headcanon masterlist.

The door'll let you in for witty responses.

We prop it open during exam season, when everyone's coming back from dinner, on party nights, & when no one can solve the riddle.

Questions become more difficult to answer after curfew.

Everyone waits outside & pretends not to know first night until the first-years figure it out.

Today's riddle & answer posted on the back of the door every morning; check before you leave just in case.

Sometimes you find the prefects debating over what the answer is; no one leaves the common room until someone's figured it out, so sometimes, the entirety of Ravenclaw is late to breakfast.

Again, if we absolutely can’t, we’ll prop it open.

If the door’s propped open and you remove the prop, we’ll use the guillotine on you.

Everyone has at least one hill to die on.

There's a podium by the fireplace with a record book on it of all the books in Ravenclaw's library that you can ask for help finding books from (pages flip in their own). 

If you’re in a reading slump, describe what you're looking for; we've probably got it!

If you don't like writing & highlighting in the books, it'll disappear while you have it, but everyone's free to mark in them. 

So good at reading their own messy notes and the notes their friends wrote they can read a doctor's handwriting.

And there are notes everywhere. As organized as some Raveclaws wish they could be, you can't make notebooks & journals as organized as Google Doc & Word documents. Unless, ya know … someone made a spell for that — hold on, I gotta write that down!

Professors find notes — ideas for spells & potions — on the back of homework & tests. More knowledgeable teachers will add their ideas or advice before handing it back.

Everyone leaves a copy of their favorite book with annotations before they leave seventh year. 

There's a coffee/tea cart in the common room. 

Hallways to the dorms are covered in graffiti from students long passed.

Dorms branch off based on your year. 

Girls can walk into the boy's dorms & vice versa. 

All rooms are extended for more space.

Beds are built into the wall like window seats & have bookshelves where the head and footboards should be. 

Dark blue curtains can be drawn shut if you're feeling introverted. 

Trunks go under the bed, so they're kinda high off the ground.

Cast an extension charm if you’re claustrophobic.

At the end of every year, everyone congregates in the common room, someone casts glisseo on the stairs to Ravenclaw tower, & everyone slides their trunks down (it's called "the trunk shoving").

No one gives a single sh¡t about house points.

Ravenclaw’s are always blowing something up & losing points.

Dramatic about stubbing their toe, but super casual about ending up in the hospital wing because they "wanted to test a hypothesis."

If you have a question or don't understand something, ask it loudly in the common room; someone will undoubtedly answer or direct you to another who can.

Just don't use bad grammar, or sixteen people will correct you in unison. 😅

Learn (a) new language(s) in the common room 20:00–21:00 Mon.–Fri.

Tutoring sessions are in the common room at 21:00–22:00 Mon.–Fri. Or ask for private lessons to work around your schedule.

If a particular teacher's sh¡t, we host a class in the common room after dinner.

Also, there're just classes for random stuff: art, budgeting, codes & code-breaking, cooking, dancing, darning, fencing, ice skating (in the winter months), knot tying, lock picking, makeup, Morse code, muggle martial arts, sewing…

First years are all offered a class on note taking.

A lot of us do our homework on Friday night so we don't have to worry about it all weekend, so there're no party activities tonight, but you can play a muggle board game if you want.

Karaoke on Saturday nights.

Dungeons & Dragons on Sunday nights.

D&D’s swapped out for a play once a month; screw the theater ban! (For an explanation of Hogwarts’s theater ban, see Albus Dumbledore’s notes on “The Fountain of Fair Fortune” in The Tales of Beedle the Bard.)

Morning yoga in the common room — feel free to join; we'll teach you some poses.

Ask around; whatever you're looking for — info, candy, contraband — someone probably hands it out, sells it, can get it for you, and/or can tell you where to find it.

Pass around a spell that allows them to clean themselves. Who has time for showering?

And a potion that gives them the same feeling & energy as if they slept. Who has time for sleeping?

Yes, we're building a guillotine in the common room.

Please don't utilize it in the decapitation of any living person or thing (unless it's the Snape or Umbridge)!

Our next project is a carousel. With working lights & everything.

Yes, we're building a house of cards in the common room; please don't blow on it.

Be quiet until noon on the weekends or get hexed.

Thank Merlin they teach sign language in the common room every year & everyone knows enough to get by.

Parties are highly regulated.

People volunteer to walk people back to their dorms & put up protection charms so you don't get assaulted. Those people are vetted with Veritaserum first to confirm the authenticity of their intentions.

People often get into academic debates, which can get a bit loud; just silencio them & move on.

The entrances to the dorms are hidden behind moving bookshelves.

The Ravenclaw copy of Hogwarts: A History will tell you more than you realized you needed to know; there're enough notes in the margins to make a second book, including how to enter the kitchens, how to sneak out if the castle, how to find the Room of Requirement…

They've located more secret passages & rooms in Hogwarts using spells they created than the Marauders were aware of.

First-years are told how to put extension charms on their backpacks so they're not heavy — that's a crap-ton of stairs.

There's an incredibly thick book by a armchair near the fireplace that's full of testaments of Ravenclaw's alumni. "What's one thing you wish you'd known when you started Hogwarts?" First-years are encouraged to flip through it.

And taught a low-concentration spell for levitating books while laying down so your arms don't get tired (flick wand to turn page).

Common room's extended to fit all kinds of activities (and the bookshelves).

Some third-years built an aquaponic system on top of one of the window seats; take a cucumber, if you want, or stop to look at the fish.

Again, explosions are not uncommon. (Please don’t drop any explosives in the fish tank. As water isn’t as compressible as air, this will kill the fish.)

Everyone just kinda glances over to make sure you’re okay before going back to what they were doing.

There's always a record playing.

They host a hike through the Forbidden Forest once a week, because what even are rules?

If you hear an intelligent conversation taking place, feel free to sit down & listen or jump in!

The wind whistles against the windows all year round, but they've been charmed to keep water out.

Played The Floor is Lava before it was a meme.

There's a two-way mirror on the wall above the fireplace. There's a muggle television on the other side. No one's sure whose T.V. it is, but a lady comes in in the mornings in hair curlers & watches the news.

She puts in V.H.S. tapes of Disney movies at the start of term. Hypothesis says it's for the first years & this person's a half-blood or a muggle-born.

Sometimes, people work together to solve the Friday crossword in The Daily Prophet. It's the hardest all week.

Look at each other like they're the camera in The Office when someone says something stupid.

Oh, boy, if someone's found a really good mystery book… That sh¡t’s getting magically copied & passed around. We discuss theories at meals, pass notes in class, & set up a murder board in the common room.

Actually, Ravenclaw house has solved a number of murders in its free time.

Visit my Ravenclaw YouTube playlist & Pinterest board.

DISCLAIMER ━━━ These headcanons are what I consider to be canon in my fanfictions. They may be others’s headcanons I’ve subconsciously filed away in my noggin. If one’s yours and you want it removed or credited, please send me your post and let me know.

[vasiktomis]

Pomegranate, Chapter 17: Quiet Earth, Part I.

John Seed x Female Deputy

Rating: Explicit.

Read it on Ao3 here!

Notes: Thanks all who have been keeping up with this! I'm so consistently floored by the amount of content creators we have in this fandom corner and the sheer level of workmanship that exists here. This is the first chapter of Pom that I'll be posting to tumblr, and I'm hoping to draw up a little sketch with each update. If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them! Big thank you to @shallow-gravy and @consumedkings as always for dealing with my stupidity and being a pair of top-notch angels, and also just like, everybody who takes time out of their day to engage with this? Y'all really sticking with ultra slow burn and I swear after some wicked angst in the next couple of chapters I'll finally be able to throw some well-deserved smut at you. WARNINGS: Forced conversion, descriptions of dissociation and derealisation, explicit language, sexual content, depictions of violence, guns, blood and gore. Canon-typical debauchery.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Don’t touch him!”

Mary May lunged with enough force for John to feel the wake of air sweep through him, even with how quickly she was snatched up and yanked back to her place. The soles of her tennis shoes squeaked against the floor as she was dragged to the far side of the room, unable to be trusted with providing audience to Nick’s Atonement.

A shame, really. It was nicer as a shared experience.

The Baptist rolled his jaw, off-setting some of the tension arising from the shrieks that the blonde flung at the back of his head. He righted himself, taking the tattoo gun from one of his faithful with a gracious nod, and turned his attention down to the pilot currently pinned to the floor. Without a word, he sank to his knees, straddling the man, keeping silent as he could just to listen out for any change in his demeanour. Fear. Grief. Defeat. Acceptance. A sign to prove his readiness.

Nick didn't flinch, breathing hard through his nose and watching with hateful eyes. John hovered an indicating hand over the man’s bare chest, bruised from the fight he’d put up against his capture, mentally mapping out placement. Then, he came in with the needle, beginning with the stem of an ’E’, right in the centre of Nick's sternum.

The pilot snorted, masking discomfort with indifference, turning a wince into a scoff. “Figures you don’t use stencils. I ain’t got a hope in hell of this turning out good, do I.”

That casual old Nick attitude. He missed it.

If only he’d let him do this 5 years ago. He wouldn’t have had to miss it.

John feigned offense. “Oh I’m sorry, Nick. Did you want me to do the rest in cursive? Add a feather? Infinity symbol?”

“For fuck’s sake-”

“Talk about tonal dissonance. It’s not meant to be pretty.” He grumbled. “Might’ve gotten a little more practice if you’d-”

A yell from the rear entryway pulled John’s hand away from his canvas. More squeaking. More interruption. Jerome Jeffries getting hauled into the church, held under each arm by the pair of Chosen that John had sent looking for him.

The Baptist cast a look over his shoulder at them, content with the sight of Jerome adequately beaten and bloodied. “Ahh. Pastor. Try to run and hide? It’s no wonder your flock ran astray with a shepherd so quick to leave them to the wolves.”

Jerome ignored him. No reply. No eye contact. A crime John noted to make worthy of capital punishment in the New Eden. The Pastor was set down beside Mary May, who immediately began seeing to his injuries. Murmuring bubbled between them.

“Did you reach them?” The bartender asked. Must’ve been a negative, because the next thing she did was curse.

“The Deputy was calling when they caught me.”

And if she had half the spine to come and broker an agreement for her friends, she’d be inbound.

“Could you at least gag them? I’m trying to concentrate.” John ordered no one in particular, earning another scoff from Nick. “The faster we work, the less we’ll have to get through once she arrives. The quicker we can be out of this heinous town.”

“Stay away from her, shitbag.” The pilot ground out, this time unable to save face when John retaliated, pressing the gun just a little too hard, digging down through an extra few layers of skin.

“Nick Rye, you’re a married man.” John tutted playfully, resuming his work. “That sin of yours again. Take, take, take. Didn’t think the Deputy to be your type. Wouldn’t say you’re hers, either.”

Nick looked downright disgusted at the prospect. Less concerned for the state of his wife - which meant she'd been a likely getaway. “Always been so fuckin’ jealous.”

“Come again?”

“Think folks are stupid? Think I don’t know you?”

“You don't know me, period.” John bit back, skin on the back of his neck flushing between boiling and freezing.

“Anyone else givin’ you this much trouble’d be long dead by now. That shit on the radio? Reckon you’d be talkin’ like that if your family could hear you across the river?” Nick continued, averting his gaze when John shot him a particularly poisonous look. He didn’t, however, find it necessary to respond to such a veiled accusation.

At least until -

“Everybody knows you wanna stick it to her, John-”

As if he’d been awaiting the chance, John’s free hand shot to Nick’s jaw, aching in protest when he squeezed, not stopping until he could feel the man’s molars beneath his flesh. “That’s about enough from you.” He crooned.

John had his desires, yes. He’d accepted that much. Had he not been sworn to celibacy, he might have jumped at the opportunity to respond to Cora’s advances last night. That said, she was still an outsider, and while her Atonement made the prospect less dicey, he couldn’t consciously consider laying with the woman in real life.

No matter how torturous it had become to gear his thoughts toward anything else.

He could be content with just her company, without making any further advances on her. Last night had simply been a moment of weakness, and he’d prevailed by stepping away.

“If you’ll excuse me.” John switched off the little machine once he’d completed his piece and promptly stood to beckon for replacement parts. Mary May might have gotten away with an allergic reaction last time he’d attempted this, but considering he’d be slicing it out of her within the hour, he couldn’t see any reason for her to be complaining. The bartender had been a thorn in his side from the start. While Nick and his wife had once lent John their...whatever a sinner’s closest equivalent was to friendship, Mary May had always been trouble. Wore her heart on her sleeve and trusted no one she hadn’t grown up around. Bolshie. Almost fucking killed him, once.

John busied himself with needle transfers and a pleasant expression. He could feel the woman’s eyes on him.

Did she think what Nick proclaimed? That complete and utter lie?

How fucking crass. No, he did not want to ’stick it’ to Cora. At least, as far as anyone else was concerned. He was fond of her, and - while yes, he had encountered temptation - if one disregarded the cum-stained, stolen panties in his pocket, and the conjured fantasies, and the purely incidental erection he’d maintained after the Deputy stuck her tongue down his throat last night - there was simply no evidence to suggest to anyone else that he was even remotely tempted to break the rules.

Sex was the furthest thing from his mind. It was mere coincidence that today had just so happened to fall on a morning in which he’d needed to trim.

…

If, however, she were to decide that she wanted to continue what she’d attempted last night, then surely he couldn’t be to blame if he only failed to stop her. It wasn’t technically fornication if he didn’t initiate it. Nor was it considered intercourse if -

“Brother John.”

John jumped, heart stopping, whipping his head around to the Chosen standing at the door of the church.

“What?" He asked thickly.

“The Deputy’s arrived.”

Right on cue, the crackling of gunshots drifted in alongside the Chosen’s announcement.

“Tell everyone to hold their fire.” John ordered. “We have them outnumbered tenfold. The Deputy can’t be stupid enough to create a hostage situation. Direct her here, and peacefully.”

The Chosen’s throat bobbed, swallowing back outrage, and John squinted hard at him, trying to dispel the flicker of green light in the mist outside as it settled against the man’s temple.

“John, I don’t think-”

He never got a chance to act on that incoming insubordination.

Instead, he jerked, cut off by a sickening crack as a section of his skull blew out of his head. Red mist and liquified brain matter followed, splattering against the doorframe, and the Chosen slumped lifeless onto the front step.

John wasn’t so much shaken by the killing as he was irritated by everyone else’s apparent refusal to let today go according to plan. Maybe also the pile of brains and hair now sitting on his once-pristine red carpet. He’d made this easy for the woman: kill everyone he could round up, leave her with no one to claim duty to, and get this all over and done with. Have her home by mid-afternoon. Embark on a new chapter and achieve salvation. It was that simple.

Woe to him for trusting in her common sense.

“Fuck’s sake. Wrath begets more wrath.” He muttered, smoothing a hand over his chin. He didn’t have the patience for this any longer. “Fine. Sister -”

A woman stood from the pews as soon as John made eye contact, equally as unshaken by the scene mere feet away.

“Send out word: the Deputy wants to sacrifice her friends for the sake of a fight.” John punctuated the end of his sentence with a click as he returned his focus to jamming the needles into his tattoo gun. “Give her what she wants. Take her by force.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The smokescreen was beginning to clear, but despite the weight it was taking off her lungs, Cora would’ve preferred it remain just a little longer. At least until they’d cleared out the town. Had they been quicker, it might have lasted longer. Covered their approach to Fall’s End. Given them more cover to sneak about unseen.

The streets, while still hazy, were visible now. It wasn’t a difficult task watching Peggie silhouettes run from building to building in search of her team. Resistance members and civilians were either in the process of being rounded up, or littered the road and pavement, dead. The Ryes, Mary May, and Pastor Jerome were yet to be seen amongst either group.

Same went for Boomer.

Aside from the barking of orders from Chosen and faithful, there was little sound. Knowing how much of a fuss her dog had put up the last time he’d been caught by the Project struck Cora’s nerves. He was his own alarm, and he would not go peacefully.

Not hearing him was an indication of the worst.

Some part of her brain argued against the idea. Vouching that John wouldn’t have hurt the creature. That was her dog. He had to be an exception to the massacre, no matter how vicious he behaved.

She had to find him, and creeping through the rear entry of the Spread Eagle was the first point of call.

Luckily enough, the back door had yet to be boarded up. Peggies who rushed past covered windows hardly stopped to peek inside the place for fear of being tainted by the presence of alcohol. Sneaking in was simple enough, too, at least once Jess had picked the lock.

“I’m going to pretend that door was open.” The Deputy murmured her equivalent to praise, passing into the building.

Grace headed straight in after her, taking a left to search for any sign of Mary May while she took a right toward the stairs.

“You pretend the Cook’s head was already gone when we found him?” Jess whispered.

“Freak accident. You all saw it.”

“First floor’s clear.” Grace announced from the serving hatch in the kitchen, clearly unhappy about it.

“Right.” Cora acknowledged, “I’ll check up top.”

The second story was as dead-quiet as the first. Furniture had been knocked over in the hallway and bedrooms had been raided. None of it indicated anything good, but she still had to know.

Cora pushed open the door to her room, and while she held no expectation of what she’d find, her heart sank anyway.

It was empty.

Boomer was gone.

Only his makeshift collar and a tattered bandana remained atop the rug he’d been snoozing on that morning.

Her dog.

John had either taken him or killed him, just like the rest. He’d do the same to the rest of her team. She should’ve taken the Baptist’s offer before the latter had even become a possibility.

“No sign?” Grace affirmed once the Deputy slipped back down to the first floor. “My guess is either they’re in hiding, or John’s giving them special treatment. If they were dead he’d be parading them.”

Sharky and Hurk exchanged a frown when Cora offered only a nod, notably more meek than usual.

“Was he in there, darlin’?” Adelaide asked, a little too gently not to invite a sting to her eyes.

Cora felt her jaw clench. It was a different breed of nausea, trying to keep her composure under the scrutiny of the rest of the team. She managed to shake her head, and Adelaide’s hand found her shoulder.

“Could still be with the others, yet.” The woman offered.

“So how do we find them?” Jess asked.

Find John Seed, of course.

“Finding them’s one thing. Getting to them might be the harder part.” Cora began. “The smokescreen’s only getting thinner and there’s Peggies everywhere. It's grasslands from here to the hills. No way we can herd everyone across a field on-foot, safely. We’ve got to make sure they stay freed, first.”

“And?” Jess huffed. “We’re gonna kill some Peggies, right?”

The blonde considered that.

“We split up. Search the buildings for anyone who hasn’t been caught yet. Round them up and plant explosives as we go. With enough chaos, maybe we can have a shot at turning the tide in the short term.”

Sharky was practically trembling. “Explosives, like, everywhere?”

“Everywhere. The more damage, the better.” Cora replied. “Adelaide, Xander, pair up. Sharky and Hurk, same with you.”

“And us on range?” Jess grinned, trading a look with Grace who maintained absolute stoicism. “I’m so into that.”

“No.”

…

“Say what?”

“No more ranged attacks. I need you and Grace to head back to the van -”

Jess was advancing on her before she’d even finished her sentence.

“You’re pulling me outta the fight? The fuck gives?” The huntress loomed over the Deputy, incredulous. Cora made an effort to stay put, but Jess’s insistence managed to outweigh her stubbornness, forcing the blonde to compromise by leaning as far back as she could without falling.

“We can’t keep running on short-term wins.” Cora insisted. “We have to put our foot down. No more small assaults. No more hoping John gets demoralised enough that he hands himself over.”

Sharky frowned. “What’re you saying?”

She met his gaze, puffing out her chest, retaking her space. “I’m saying the Henbane Bridge is unmanned right now. If we get word to the County Jail, there’s no roadblock to stop them from helping us win this. John Seed’s throwing everything he can at us. I say we try for the same. I say we end it for good. We’re gonna take back Holland Valley. Today.”

“...You really like that dog, huh.”

“That too.”

Jess looked unconvinced. “So the two of us are running errands while the rest of you are holding the fort? Fucking bullshit.”

“I told you. No more range.” Cora bit back, jabbing a thumb toward Hurk and Sharky. “You’d rather send Boshaws and Drubmans to convince Tracey to send us her best people? No offence.”

“None taken, bitch.” Adelaide grumbled.

Grace exhaled, throwing away momentary hesitation. “We’ll be fast.”

Cora traded a nod with the sniper before looking to Jess once more.

Still unconvinced.

“They have cars with guns on them, remember?”

The corner of Jess’s mouth ticked. Temptation.

Mission accomplished.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The tacky fucking carpet was the first thing she noticed, creeping along Main Street. Bliss petals had been sprinkled all over the road leading up to the church.

The carpet ended at the door. An invitation if she ever saw one. Boastful. Arrogant.

A pang of dread ached through Cora's bones, holding her in place while she drew her revolver. It could be an ambush. It probably was an ambush, but there was nothing she could feasibly do to avoid it. If the others were in there, then she couldn't wait around any longer.

She had to do this. At least hold out until Jess and Grace returned, with or without help.

She'd been running for long enough. All other options had been exhausted. At least John offered the least awful defeat.

Drawing close to the entrance, the Deputy pointedly avoided examining a dead crow that had been impaled upon the wall. She inhaled, holding the breath in her lungs, steadying her heart rate.

It was only freedom.

She opened the door, immediately training the gun out before her, following its guide into the room.

About a dozen Peggies dotted the space, leaning against walls, lining the pews - all angled at the pulpit, observing Nick on the floor. He stifled a cry while John sliced through the final remaining layers of skin binding the tattoo to his chest, peeling the word 'GREED' out of his flesh. Blood pooled on the floor around them, and the moment John had stepped away, the pilot was descended on with antiseptic and bandages.

The Deputy waited for nausea at the sight to take its course. It never did. She was all but numbed to the sight.

"Deputy, run!"

Mary May's voice cut through the silence, and the bartender lurched from her own spot on the ground. Guns raised all around the room, swinging around to aim for Cora.

”Hold!” John barked immediately, unconcerned when the Deputy shifted her aim to him. Instead, he busied himself with washing his sullied hands. “Hold your fire.”

His followers obeyed.

Cora, meanwhile, cocked the revolver in her grip. One foot edged into the room, and she glanced around for the Project’s captives before returning her gaze to John. All on the other side of the room. Pinned. Fuck.

“Hope County Sheriff’s Department.” She announced, staring the Baptist down, ignoring the grin that crept onto his face - like he found it fucking funny. “Weapons on the ground. Step away from the hostages.”

“Hostages?” John snorted. He gestured Pastor Jerome, Mary May, and Nick. “These are guests! This is their Atonement. This is your Atonement.”

“Drop the fucking weapons.”

John’s patience thinned. Quickly. “I’m not doing this with you.” He replied simply. “Not today.”

With his own look around the room, John inclined his head. An unspoken order to which everyone carrying a gun turned them on her allies.

“We both know you don’t have enough bullets for everyone. Nor do you have the time. So why don’t you put down my gun and surrender.”

“Don’t-” Mary May was cut off with the tap of steel against her temple. Warning.

John was right. She was outnumbered. There was no chance of getting any of them out with force alone.

She inhaled. Exhaled. Watched the fondness slip back onto John’s face like it had never left, and set the gun on the floor.

“That’s my girl.” John murmured. Then, he motioned. “Get her ready.”

Cora’s stomach dropped as two sets of arms coiled around hers, each pulling and pushing, prickling at her skin with unfamiliar, sickening touch. Biology told her to resist. Escape the sensation. The downward pulling.

“No, stop it.” Escaped her while she squirmed. “Get off. Stop touching me-”

“Her friends can’t be far. Find them.” The Baptist ordered, turning away toward the pulpit.

Cora’s knees hit the floor. There was no holding the repetition of protests, but even as she consciously elevated the volume of her voice, it grew quieter in her ears. Calculated attempts to jerk away and make an escape became automatic twitches.

One of John’s followers - a female - crept into view, fingers tugging at the top button on her uniform collar. John readied a tattoo gun over the woman’s shoulder, and the Deputy’s mind screamed alarm bells. Get out. Escape. Fight back. Regain control.

“I won’t hurt you, sister.”

This time, she sank, curling forward, angling herself away from the woman. Another attempt, and she wrenched away again, snarling. Then, the Peggies around her must have gotten tired of all the fuss, because the tear of cotton clawed at her ears. Ringing through her brain.

Her back felt cold all of a sudden.

Green material slipped down her arms, and at the sight of her own uniform pooling in shreds in her own lap, Cora ceased her thrashing. The shredded shirt was yanked from her belt and tossed aside, and she watched with growing resignation while John turned back around.

His gaze found hers. Then flickered downward, first to the compression bra, then a margin to the right. “Here I thought you’d be unmarked.” He commented, inspecting what was visible of the old ink on her lower ribs while he approached.

Hands pressed against Cora’s shoulders, and she drifted back until her shoulder blades hit the floor.

John continued to loom until he stood directly over her. He sank to his knees, expression softening with his descent until he was on all fours on top of her. He looked almost adoring, and she hated how it comforted her, just slightly. She hated how the hands had disappeared from her limbs, and yet she still made no further attempt to escape. He had every ounce of power now.

She didn’t know she’d started trembling until his free hand swept over her collarbones, mapping out her chest, calming the gooseflesh beading on her from the chill, or the fright, or perhaps just that this whole thing felt so humiliatingly exposing.

A blush swelled over John’s throat, maybe indicating some straying line of thought. He snapped out of it and settled to sit on her hips. “This looks familiar, doesn’t it?” He teased, hovering the tattoo gun right over the centre of her sternum.

“Dont.” Was all she could manage. Weak. Pleading. “I don’t want you to.”

“You have no idea how good you’re going to feel after this.” John cooed.

One of his fingers drifted along her jaw. An attempt at comforting her, but to no avail. He looked equal parts gentle and feral with excitement.

The machine buzzed, lowering pitch when the needles finally pressed into her flesh.

This was it.

She’d lost. There was no going back, anymore. No more normal, no more ridding herself of this family. They’d taken everything, and now they were claiming ownership over her, too.

The others were being hunted. It was only a matter of time. John was working too quickly. They’d be gone before the Cougars even crossed the river.

Cora’s nerves muted. Sound closed to just the rumble of blood in her ears. She receded into herself. Found a backseat in her mind, away from the sensory overload and the humiliation and her own failure while her body quietly continued: ”Dont, don’t, stop.”

She’d lost, and John wouldn’t stop. Not while he was branding the evidence of his victory into her flesh.

Defeat tasted worse than anticipated.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Bullets whizzed overhead while Sharky and Hurk took cover beneath the window, watching helplessly as the aisle of potato chips and bar nuts was torn to shreds by the onslaught. Dorito dust filled the shop like mustard gas.

“Cuz, I think they found us!” Hurk barked, snapping an arm over his head in defence when a stray round ricocheted off the front counter.

“What gives you that impression?” Sharky hit back, hurriedly setting down his shotgun and shrugging his backpack to the floor.

“How many are there?”

“How about you check?”

“How about you check?”

A moment of quiet occurred while the cousins glared at each other, leaving their standoff to a battle of no blinking. Then the Peggies outside must’ve finished re-loading, because the back wall of the shop was suddenly being shot into swiss cheese.

They were okay. Everything was cool. Addie and Xander had taken their share of explosives and gone the quiet route. Grace and Jess were gone. Shorty had disappeared into the church, and while he couldn't count the best, Sharky was pretty confident that John had caught her.

Could they have kept on looking for survivors and breaking out captives? Sure - but why do that when they could kill, like 40 birds with one stone and beeline for the gas station? It was conveniently across the road from the church, empty of any and all life barring the dormant tanks underground. An explosion that big was sure to fuck up like a good portion of Main Street. Not even the Chosen would be able to resist checking it out.

Disconnecting the safety switches had been easy. He’d been arrested for doing it like 5 times already. Cops, Peggies; it didn’t matter - Sharky knew what he was doing, and without the giant swinging dick of the law hanging over him, the man was on a mission. Cultists shooting at him was fine. He was used to that.

Threat of death or no, he wasn’t giving up the chance to see this place blow sky high.

“We’ll be outta here any second, Hurky.” Sharky assured. “Just gotta sprinkle a little C-4 around the place and we’ll be gone before it even goes off.”

Hurk was sweating. A lot. He was accustomed to being shot at, but normally, he had more than just Sharky to get him out of a tight spot. “Alright, bro. Gimme some. Many hands and what have you.”

“Fuck yeah. First step, toss some at the tanker outside. We wanna get the place as fiery as possible up here to wake up the big boys underground, and-”

Sharky stopped in his tracks, eyeing the backpack he’d just been in the process of unzipping.

“-uhh.”

“Uhh?”

“Hurky, can I be real with you?”

“Is now the best time for a deep and meaningful?” Hurk hissed, crawling toward him nonetheless.

The arsonist stuck his hand down the pack, rifling through fluff and mesh. “I, uh, I think I brought the wrong bag. And by think I mean know without a shadow of a doubt.”

Hurk watched as his cousin tugged the green, furry headpiece of a dragon out into the open.

“You brought-...”

“I brought my fursuit.”

“Not the C-4?”

“Not the C-4.”

“Okay, bro. That's fine. I'm not mad. Human error. Not even a little bit?”

Sharky checked again, just for good measure. “Nope...so, uhm...you got a match?”

Hurk ran a hank through his hair. “Not to poo poo your ideas, but that probably ain’t the best move.”

So just like that, they were fucked.

Jess and Grace still hadn’t come back. The others were nowhere to be seen. Shorty was holed up in that church, and he and Hurk were about to be rounded up by born-again virgins.

Shit, if that were the case -

“Well, if this is gonna be the last opportunity.” Sharky grunted, tugging the suit out and unzipping the back. “May as well enjoy our last minutes of freedom, huh?”

Hurk took the cue, creeping across the destroyed shop floor and reaching for a popped bag of pretzels. He sat back against the wall, leaning against the rocket launcher he’d propped up against the corner.

“Man.” The brunette sighed, staring at the floor. “If only we had some other kind of ranged, explosive device.”

“No shit.” Sharky agreed. “Some high velocity shit would fix this.”

They exchanged a sympathetic look once the arsonist had zipped himself up and crept over and sit beside his cousin, both leaning on either side of the RPG.

Hurk held out the bag.

“Pretzel?”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Was that so bad?” John asked, placing the tattoo gun aside and framing the Deputy’s marked chest. ’WRATH', in true black, beading with blood. The skin surrounding the text was mottled and inflamed. Excess ink covered the area in patches, gathering in the dip of her cleavage, disappearing beneath her sports bra.

All that sin, already leaking out through the exit he’d made for her.

Gorgeous.

Cora didn’t respond. That was fine. Shock was normal. She’d thank him once this was all over. For now, she just trembled, lock jawed, dissociated gaze searching what John had thought was him until he sat up. No, instead she was watching the ceiling.

John flashed a smile, blocking out a tiny streak of dread at the sight of the woman so vacant. Sweeping a lock of stained hair over her shoulder, he smoothed his fingers past her neck, attempting to gently angle her focus back to him. “Hey. You can come back now. We’re all done.”

You're finally on the other side. React to it. React to me. Look at me-

The boom came first, hollow and deep, and John felt the floor beneath him rumble. Chandeliers and decorations wobbled from the disturbance. Several of his followers shot from their seats, immediately abandoning the Resistance leaders they’d guarded in favour of pacing back and forth, trying to get a look at whatever was happening outside.

“Is this it?”

“Is it the Collapse?”

“It’s time?”

“John, is it the Collapse?”

The panic escalated quickly, forcing the Baptist to break his attention away from the empty woman below him and rein in the flock.

“Calm down.” He exclaimed, “It’s not the Collapse. It’s probably just-”

Another boom. Almost deafeningly loud.

This time, the whole church shook. Windows shattered in their creaking panes and smashed to the floor while pews squealed heavily in protest.

Contrary to his assertion, John dove down, covering the Deputy with his body. Holy shit, was it the Collapse?

The tremor must have been enough to snap Cora out of her trance, because a muffled “Get your tits out of my face.” buzzed against John’s chest.

Tragically, however, the Baptist never got the opportunity to reply to her. Had it not been for the fucking tennis shoe colliding with the side of his skull, he imagined he’d have something very clever to say. Alas, pain shot through his head and he jerked to the side, fighting against the blow to stay put. A snarl from Mary May, his apparent attacker, sounded in retaliation. She dove into him, knee driving into his ribs, throwing him off of the Deputy.

His thoughts left him for the briefest moment, overtaken by ensuing gunshots and shouts and the shrieks of the bartender as she was clawed away from him. Her hand shot forward right as she was yanked up, intended as a punch. It didn’t land, and John couldn’t help but shoot her a smirk for her failure.

“Deputy, gun!”

Nevermind. It wasn’t a punch after all. Mary May had been pointing over his shoulder at the revolver that had been surrendered on the floor. His revolver. The same one Cora was now scrambling toward.

No.

John lurched, heart leaping into his throat.

Not now. Not after he’d won. Not when they were so close.

His hand found the leg of Cora’s pants, wrenching, pulling her away from the weapon, and she kicked against him. Her finger tips slid against the barrel of the revolver, tugging it into her palm.

God wouldn’t fucking undo his victory.

John snarled, catching the Deputy’s wrist when she tried to aim - at him no less. Without her own recovery time achieved, he was able to wrestle the weapon from her easily enough, flattening her struggling body beneath his just long enough to hook an arm around her waist. He twisted around, holding the woman’s back against his belly. Her squirming ceased with the press of the muzzle against her head, and the moment her allies had taken notice of the change, everything went still.

Finally.

A little civility.

Several of John’s followers lay on the floor, either dead or close to it. Only a half-dozen remained, though the pair of Chosen had survived and placed themselves closest to their leader.

Pastor Jerome had procured a handgun from within his own bible - something that pulled a breathless laugh out of John as he surveyed the others. Nick hadn’t been able to arm himself, but he’d still tackled one of the faithful to the ground. His knuckles were bloodied. A familiar sight. Mary May had wrestled a gun of her own away from the woman who’d seized her. She aimed it shakily at John.

Armed but outnumbered, outgunned, and now, they were in check.

They never learned, did they?

“The way you people behave, you’d think salvation was a bad thing.” John tittered. “Right. Now, let’s try this again. Atonement, or damnation.” To punctuate his meaning, he tapped the muzzle against Cora’s head. She grunted in protest, and he ignored her. Of course it was a bluff. No one else knew that but him, though. It was too risky a move for the Resistance to let him do away with the one person that banded their factions.

She was their leader. They couldn’t lose her.

John looked around the room once more, locking eyes with Jerome first - then Mary May. “Are we going to behave?”

The answer was immediate and clear: a gunshot cracking through the Baptist’s ears and the flash of a blast spilling from Mary May’s weapon. Cora’s elbow driving into his stomach and the reaction time of his Chosen snapping to attention, covering him, already hauling John out of the church and onto the street.

Fuck no, he wasn't leaving without his prize.

"GRAB HER!" John howled, struggling against the attempts to get him to safety. "Leave the rest!"

It was a reluctant effort, but the Deputy was yanked along as well, shoved into Johns arms on his repeated orders, with me, with me.

“Mary May, what the fuck!” The Deputy roared over her shoulder.

“Sorry Deputy! I missed!”

Missed?

“You sure about that? Jesus fucking Christ!”

More shots sounded, but only the noise pursued them from the building. It wasn’t until John had shoved Cora into the back of the waiting truck that he realised how warm his hand had gotten. Wet, too.

“Get to the ranch!” One of the Chosen snarled up front, casting a look back at the Baptist while the vehicle took off, watching as he peeled away from the blonde to inspect himself.

Blood.

He was bleeding. But where from? Barring the sting of his scabs and that kick to the head, nothing hurt. There were no wounds hiding under his sleeves or -

A hiss sounded from the Deputy beside him, curling in on herself.

Shit.

She hadn’t elbowed him.

“Cora-” John scrambled for her. "Cora, let me see."

“Told you not to call me that.” The Deputy grit out, kicking at him until she’d well and truly jammed herself into the corner of the seat and the car door. Her left hand gripped her right forearm, just below the elbow and to no avail. Crimson coated the skin on her side, encasing her arm completely and seeping through her fingertips.

She was bleeding. Not heavily, but steadily.

”Deputy.” John bit back, advancing. “You’re hurt. Let me help-”

Just like that, the kicking resumed. “Don’t touch me-DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME-”

“For once in your fucking life, just relax!”

Only incomprehensible snarling came in response.

John rolled his jaw, brimming with as much irritation as he was adrenaline. The Resistance had made their choice. Regretful, but final. He’d gotten what he came for, and he wasn’t intending on losing her just because she was too stubborn to accept help.

He glanced at the revolver still in his grip. Then back at Cora, rotating the grip toward her. A threat. “Are you going to let me help, or am I going to have to calm you down?”

“Don’t you dare.” Her words came hoarse. She gave scowling a red hot go, but without the rationale to deny him, the Deputy lacked conviction. She exhaled. “Fuck it. We've done this enough already. You get ten minutes. Then you’re under arrest.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Her cheek twitched. A weak chuckle. The slightest flash of acknowledgement as she let him press his weight over her forearm. Thankfully, the wound wasn’t pulsing; nor was there a puncture wound. A gouged strip had been carved into her flesh where the bullet had grazed, but nothing vital seemed to have been struck.

“That - you can keep saying.”

"You're a flirt when you're in shock, Deputy." Had John not been too busy regulating about a dozen other emotions, he might have flushed at her words. For a moment, he just sat there, basking in the borderline friendliness on her face. Then, it occurred to him that they were among watchful company, and he cleared his throat, returning to his task.

Minutes passed. No more words were exchanged. Not until they’d passed the Rye and Son’s sign.

The Chosen in the front passenger’s seat looked over his shoulder, dismissing another over the radio before regarding the Baptist. “The Resistance isn’t making ground. The faithful are still rounding up stragglers, and we’ve taken casualties, but numbers are looking strong. Medic will meet you at the ranch, John. We can deliver our newest sister to the Gate while you recover.”

John inclined his head. “Much obliged. We need this one to stay with us until she’s completed her vows. She can’t be trusted unsupervised, but I won’t put the responsibility of containing her back on our people again.” He looked to Cora, then. Her face had run pale and she’d gone clammy, but she remained upright. Just...woozy. Pacified, for now.

He’d got what he came for. Fuck the rest.

“I have something to say.” The blonde announced, swaying against John’s arm. “I know why Mary May shot me.”

“This another one of your jokes?” John deadpanned.

“This one’s funny, I swear.”

“...go on, then.”

“It’s because I never tip.”

For a moment, Cora looked very satisfied with herself. Then, she retched, slumping forward into the Baptist’s lap when he instinctually jolted out of the potential line of fire. He hurried to steady her, keeping tight hold over her wound, and grimaced while the noise escaped her a second time.

Thank God nothing came out; his shoes would’ve been the first to know about it.

The Deputy didn’t sit back up.

That was fine. So long as she wasn’t dead. So long as she wasn’t fighting back.

“It’s all the sin escaping you.” John explained, off-handed, when a complaining grunt sounded below. “Evil being expelled from your body. You’ll feel better soon.”

“Pretty sure it’s my blood pressure, actually. Soon as I’m good again, you’re history.”

When one disregarded the fact that she’d had a gun trained on him earlier - and the blood drying uncomfortably on his clothes - and the persistent pounding of a headache from Mary May’s heel, this was almost pleasant. The quiet roads. The Deputy, all but atoned with her head on his thigh. Not fighting back. Conceding defeat. Peaceful.

He got what he came for.

He’d won.

He was saved.

Passing his thumb over Cora’s ribs, John’s attention was pulled back to the old ink peeking out from beneath the band of her top. Text, blurred and flattened enough to be years old, and too obscured to decipher.

“Thought I’d be your first.” The brunette murmured.

“Jealous?”

Yes.

“Don’t be ridiculous. What’s it say?”

“‘The Mountains Are Calling’.”

A sickening wave of dread passed over the Baptist. The rock forming in his throat, icy and bitter and seizing him against any reply.

The mountains are calling.

Jacob. Joseph. The Trials. Atonement wasn’t the final step. Handing her over to his brothers was the final step.

He got what he came for, but the woman in his arms wasn’t the trophy intended for him.

He was saved. He’d redeemed himself. He’d completed his task and Joseph would permit him beyond the gates. That was all he was supposed to do. That was enough.

That had to be enough.

“‘And I Must Go’.” John completed quietly.

Cora tilted her head a little, not quite looking at him - almost like she was trying not to. “You know John Muir.”

“Not enough to warrant a photo on the bedside table.”

“Shut up.”

There was nothing convincing about the chuckle he offered. He was too busy observing her, studying the side of her face. Committing her to memory as if he hadn’t spent years acquainting himself with every spot and micro-expression.

“Maybe working for you will be bearable.” She murmured, and John’s heart only sank further. "If I don't manage to arrest you."

The mountains are calling.

She still had no idea that all the promises he’d made her had been fabricated. That she wouldn’t be staying. That he’d lied to her.

The mountains were calling. In a few days time, she’d know it. She’d despise him. She’d be taken off his hands and he’d assume his regular duties once again.

He’d saved both of them.

Cora’s thumb absently grazed back and forth on his knee. Ignorant. “Can I ask something?”

It took everything in him not to mirror the action against her skin.

“Of course.”

“Can I start next Monday?”

"What happened to you being such a workaholic?"

"To be honest with you, I'm really fucking tired."

She’d be incredible. Jacob would love her. Joseph would be proud. John had accomplished something near-impossible for his family, and even if the Deputy hated him - even if she forgot him entirely, he was content with the knowledge that he’d have brought her to salvation.

Even if they never saw each other again, he’d know that she’d passed through the gates. That she’d climb to the surface once the world had been scorched clean. She’d rebuild, and marry, and have children, and he’d do the same.

Hopeful anticipation and the agony of longing had never felt so similar before.

“Fine.” John smiled, giving in, sliding his fingers up her arm and coaxing a stray lock of hair out of her face. There were no promises he’d be able to do it again after this. “But on one condition.”

“What?”

“Spend those days with me.”

Cora stirred, angling to peer up at him out of the corner of her eye. She smiled crookedly.

“Deal.”

[from-a-reckless-writer]

AUTHOR'S NOTE: IF YOU ARE NOT A SUPERCORP or SANVERS STAN PLEASE KINDLY SCROLL PAST THIS. APOLOGIES FOR THE LONG POST. I can't do the 'Keep Reading' thing-y since I'm using my phone. Sorry again. ✌️

The Drinking Game That Is To Be Played Never Again.

She woke up with a pounding headache. There was a groan to her right that was too fucking loud. It vaguely registers to her that the groan was from her girlfr-fiancé.

Any other time and Alex would have smiled at that thought; that Maggie was in her bed. Maggie woke up next to her. Maggie the love of her life. The one she would grow old with. The one who she'll raise dogs with and-Fuck! She was also the one who caused this whole killer hangover in the first place.

Stupid. Stupid drinking game. Stupid Lena Luthor and her 'darling,'. Stupid Kara who's a stupid Kryptonian. Oh god, she's going to throw up.

"Shh, no loud noises." She what- If Alex could get 65 percent of her brain to function properly right now she would've already yelled at Maggie. (She had the fucking audacity to tell Alex to shut up. She hasn't even said anything at all!) This was her fault after all. But she feels like shit. And truthfully, she can never yell at her.

Instead she settles for trying to put herself in an upright position and trudges to the bathroom. Last night's events hitting her full force.

The Night Before...

They were at the alien bar. J'onn fetching them drinks over at M'gann and Maggie poolstick cockily propped and leaning back at the pool table as she watches James take his turn. Lena and Kara has yet to show up.

She walks over to Maggie and gives her a quick peck. "Is it just me or is it terribly boring tonight?" Maggie whispers, not low enough apparently because James is chiming in with a, "You're only saying that because you're losing to me, Sawyer."

To which her girlfriend-her fiancé (*swoon* sounds even better) responded with an eye roll. James just chuckled and poked her lightly with a poolstick before, "Hey guys!"

And that's Kara Danvers right there, and of course if Kara's here it is only right to assume that (ah yes, Lena Luthor, hand firmly in Kara's own.) Lena was also already here.

They transfer to a much larger booth and before long the gang was completed, Brainy and Nia finally arriving. Drinks and conversation were flowing naturally when Alex turned to Maggie, "Still bored?"

"Actually, yes. How about we make this night a bit interesting?" Maggie purred in her ear.

"I'm in. What do you have in mind?"

"Can the two love birds opposite me stop being disgustingly flirty and actually join in the conversation?!"

Alex sticks her tongue out at her little sister.

"A drinking game." It takes two seconds for Alex to realize that Maggie had answered her question.

"Oh? What kind of drinking game?"

Maggie gives her a conspiratorial smile and tilts her head to Lena's and Kara's direction before saying, "Every time Luthor addresses Kara as 'Darling' we drink."

Alex laughs, oh, this will be fun. Not to mention this will totally get them drunk. It was a running joke now; when Kara and Lena will finally just get it over with. It was amusing at first but after a while it gets a bit painful and frustrating to watch. Because if you have ever been stuck with Lena and Kara (even if only once) you'll see how goddamn awful they are when they're being lovey-dovey. And Kara still swears they're not dating.

Alex knows she's tipsy by the way she can hear her own words slur and by the way the usually composed Detective Sawyer is giggling. (Giggling for heaven's sake!) That's when James sneaks into the picture.

"What's got the two of you so giggly?" He asks eyes darting between the both of them and a playful grin on his lips.

"OOooh, come here Jimmy Boy," Maggie lets go of Alex to lean in closer to James then she whispers, "Prove to us that you are the worthy and almighty Guardian by not cowering from this challenge."

Was it just Alex or did Maggie sound old-time-y?

"What?" James asks laughing at whatever it is Maggie had said.

" YOU MUST JOIN OUR DRINKING GAME!" Did she also sound old-time-y? Alex hadn't meant to be so loud but apparently she had also caught Brainy, J'onn and Nia's attention.

Somewhere in her fuzzy brain she thinks shouldn't there be two more people here? But Alex was really, really drunk.

"Oh, sounds fun what are the rules?" Nal Dreamer Nia-Dreamer Nal(???) says. She was a superhero too, right?

Alex didn't even know how she managed to blurt out the mechanics but suddenly Lena's back at the table with Kara stumbling behind her, cheeks suspiciously red and wait was that a lipstick stain?? But Nia and Brainy had already taken three shots simultaneously and Alex was having too much fun to care about whatever it was on her sister's neck. J'onn refused to join in insisting that somebody had to supervise them.

"Your loss." Maggie had told J'onn before gulping a shot because,

"Kara, darling, no. That was last week wasn't it?"

Another drink.

"Darling, actually we still hadn't decided yet."

Fifth, fucking fifth. It was her fifth shot. At the back of her mind somebody's telling her it was actually her seventh.

"I already told Sam, darling."

"Yes, sure darling, Wednesday works.

"Kara, would you mind holding my purse, darling?"

"That's it-no more. I quit." James was the first to tap out.

"Quit what?" Kara asks, confusion coloring her face.

"Quit! This new uh virtual game that Brainy and James had been playing." Oh thank God for Nia. Kara didn't bat another eyebrow although that may have to do with the fact that Lena's talking to her again and everyone knows that nobody can really reach Kara if it's Lena in front of her.

"Darling-"

Alex wants to cry. She doesn't even know what drink this is.

"Very funny, darling."

She thinks Brainy is now actually crying.

"Are you drunk? I'M DRUNKKK."

"Oh, babe we are so wasted, right now."

"I'm smashed. Smashed. SMASHED. Is it even a word?" that's Nia's voice, right(???)

"Darling, I think you're sister is gonna fall over."

Maggie downs another drink.

Kara catches her. "Okay, that's enough for you."

"No, no no, not yet. We're still playing."

"Playing what?" Was that Lena and her CEO voice?????

"A game that Detective Maggie Sawyer had designed to get us all drunk. With the mechanics being-" James bumps into Brainy knocking him down and cutting him off.

Kara immediately springs into action, M'gann looking unfazed at all. This isn't her first time dealing with wasted customers.

"I think it's time everybody went home."

"Hm. Agree with CEO lady here."

"You take Alex and Maggie, I'll take James, Brainy and Nia?"

The question was directed at J'onn.

"Nonsense, darling, I'll call my driver and get them rides home. No need to exert all that flying effort."

Weren't they supposed to do something when Lena says 'darling'?

The Very Very Very, Ache-y Morning After...

"Please tell me we have coffee."

"We have coffee."

"I love you."

"Don't know if I could say the same to you, babe. I mean this is technically your fault."

"Nope." Maggie pops the 'p'

"This is the doing of two idiots in love who still hadn't stopped being idiots."

"Ugh God, yes. You're right, do you think I should give Kara a 'Get-Your-Shit-Together' Speech?" Alex ponders for a moment, Maggie shrugs and adds, "Yes do that. But make sure to make it gay, alright?"

"Of course. Wonder how the others are doing. I think I'm gonna tell J'onn I'm not going in today." Alex places the mugs on the table and grabs her phone before planting a sloppy kiss on Maggie's cheek.

"Remind me to never trust you into roping me to a drinking game again."

"Go call your boss, Danvers!"

Bonus:

"I gotta go check on Alex."

"Mm. Do you really? We can just stay here and cuddle. Or-not cuddle and do other, activities instead." Lena purrs and Kara was really, really, genuinely tempted to just climb back under the covers and feel Lena's naked skin against hers.

"Lena, it is kind of our fault that they got hammered last night." Kara says, leaning in and giving a kiss to the corner of Lena's lips.

"It really isn't darling, if Maggie hadn't proposed a drinking game. All of them would have turned out fine." Lena had overheard the detective's clever little plan and had told Kara, last night when she pulled her to the bathroom before deliciously devouring her neck.

"Well, yeah. But it is our fault that we didn't tell them immediately that we're dating therefore pushing them to do that drinking game."

"Hm? And here I thought you loved the thought of keeping me all to yourself."

"I do, I reallly do."

"Well, I'm all yours, darling."

Bonus++

"Kara? What are you doing here-Wait no, it's fine. Come in. I have a speech to tell you anyway."

"I have something to tell you-wait what do you mean a speech?"

"Yeah, it's the 'Get-Your-Shit-Together' Speech." Alex says in such a serious tone that it left no room for argument.

"But gay." Maggie chimes in, walking over to the both of them keys in hand, "Well I gotta go, hope you get your gay shit together, Little Danvers. Bye babe, love you."

It takes approximately 5 seconds later after Maggie had closed the door when,

"WAIT—YOU'RE DATING WHO?!!!!!!"

Author's Note: Hope y'all lovely people liked that. Please tell me your thoughts. Much love, from a reckless writer. 😘

P. S check me out on Ao3 and feel free to send prompts!! 😁

[cheseyre]

good news, sluts! my brain's no longer being completely stupid (only mostly), i've seen the new asides and...have some thought-y thot thoughts:

*deep inhale*

Okay, first things first: this art style is soooo fucking cUTE and I'm a jealous, squealing bitch. Anyone who knows who the artist is, could you link me to them, stat? I think Thomas mentioned them at the beginning of the ep, but nYeh, brain hurt, doesn't wanna do wooork-

Okay, I'll admit, I was a little...apprehensive when I first saw the thumbnail and title. Part of it's just me being a bitter Remus Stan, but also...okay, deep breaths, controversial opinion time, get ready:

I don't ship Prinxiety.

Like, at all. 

I can see the appeal, and these dorks were so very, VERY cute in this particular ep, but I was honestly turned off by the ship long ago due to how overwhelmingly popular it is and how some fans characterize these two and treat this relationship as if it's the only valid one, y'know, the works—slight tangent, but that's also why I don't ship Logicality or Remile. I honestly vibe much better with ships like Roceit or Analogical, y'know?

Cutting in for another brief tangent: I'm surprisingly okay with Demus/Dukeceit/Receit/Trashnoodle/Whatever-Their-Ship-Name-Is-Oh-God-Why-Do-They-Have-So-Many-Fucking-Names; maybe it's cause they haven't actually interacted in canon and the fan content gives me such good Gay Disney Villain content, idk man im weird—).

Still, their interactions were both hilarious and sweet and like I said, I see the appeal, it's just not my cup of tea. y'all Prinxiety fans got fucking FED and I'm happy for you nerds. Enjoy ze happy boys!

I guess another factor in my...low-key hesitance when I first saw what the ep was about is that...okay, get ready, another controversial opinion, le gasp: well, I'm not a big Virgil fan. In fact, at times, he swaps places with Patton as my least favorite sides—especially with some of his recent behavior in eps like DWIT (the "prohibit your breathing comment" really triggered me, for example). Sometimes, his attitude, especially around other sides like Roman or Janus, reminds me a little too much of my sister, who I don't have...a very good relationship with. Add to that how the more...intense side of the fandom has a disturbing tendency to turn him into the 'uwu precious woobie emo baby who can do no wrong' while unnecessarily villainizing other CERTAIN sides in the process, and...I think you all see where I'm going with this little rant 😅

However, upon actually watching the ep, he wasn't...that bad? I don't think? I enjoyed watching him be a flustered, disaster-y mess and genuinely excited at the end, his interactions with Roman were nice enough, and him literally pushing Thomas to make a move with Nico despite his obvious panic attack was a nice moment of genuine character development. I like seeing that, that's the good shit right there. And him being all flustered and shit, and smiling so much at the end of the vid was just...well, adorable. This man has no fucking right to be this cute, my god

alsoooo 

pURPLE EYESHADOW

PURPLE EYESHADOW HE LOOKS?? SO GOOD?? WTF?? SLAY EMO, SLAAAAAAAY FUCK, DOES THIS MEAN I HAVE TO CHANGE MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME NOW?

alsoooo 

hAPPY ROMAN

YESSSSS~ MAH BOI MAH SON MAH DUMB BITCH HIMBO PRINCE MAH EXTRA MESSY CINNAMON ROLL

ITS  BEEN SO  LONG

AND HIS LITTLE HEART EYES THROUGHOUT THE VID, OH MY GOD-

IMMA JUST IGNORE THAT "ADDING [MISTAKE] TO THE LIST" COMMENT I AM LOOKING AWAY I DO NOT SEE IT LALALALALA

THOMATHY, SIR, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT MAKING THESE TWO GAY IDIOTS SO BAEBY

Okay, but Virgil not realizing that "cyberstalking in real life" is literally just stalking is both a big ass mood and further proof that, yes, Logan is indeed the only one holding the braincell out of this disaster of a lot. God help them all if he ducks out in the next ep.

👀

And Thomas x Trash Can is my new OTP.  I dub thee ✨ "Trashmas" ✨

we sTAN TRASHMAS

Wait, does that mean Remus actually WAS in the ep? Cause, y'know, trash man?

hmmm

👀 👀 

Okay, okay. 

With how much Virgil and Roman were going off about Thomas constantly lying, I was (understandably) a tad bit disappointed my snek son didn't even make a fucking cameo, but y'know what? In hindsight, I'm okay with this it's fineee~

He was just off playing with shadow puppets and stealing money from us desperate, content-starved peasants with his sheer extra-ness and, honestly? Gotta respect the hustle. 

Get that precious, precious coin, dapper snake! Wring us poor losers dryyyy!

*evil snek laugh*

Also, this is a breather ep and adding Janus in probably would've caused unnecessary drama with the Roceit breakup and the constant antagonism between Virgil and him. It probably would've distracted from the point of the ep (flirting with social anxiety, exactly what it says in the tin)—much like it wasn't really Virgil or Remus's place to show up during POF. Does that make sense? I think it makes sense. Sorry, brain going brr-

Still, I can't believe the "Fuck Janus Sanders" Club is actually canon now 😂

God, first Patton in a skirt and now this. 

Thomas Sanders, you delight in fucking feEDING this gremlin nest of a fanbase, don’t you? You RELISH our screams of joy and pain and suffering, dON’T YOU?

What's next, actual canonical Janus and Remus interaction? Patton saying the fuck word? The Dragon Witch comes back? Janus's bowler hat gains sentience and takes over the world, Doris-style? What do you have planned, Thomas? Joan? WHAT ART THOU PLANNING, I MUST KNOW YOU HEATHENS YOU FIENDS-

And Virgil's little "would it be fair to him" comment, tho.

👀

Like, I get in the context of the ep, he was likely talking about Nico and how it wouldn’t be good for a potential relationship with Tomas to be founded on lies, but still...my anxceit heart aches, man. 

Gimme that sweet, sweet angst with a side of mutual regret and possible future reconciliation and maybe something more wink wink nudge nudge on top, pls

...and fries.

Honestly, tho, that entire bathroom monologue was fucking beautiful, man. And relatable, too—i can't tell you how many times I've talked to myself in public restrooms because I just didn't know how to get the words I wanted to say out. It's...kind of embarrassing, tbh

Speaking of embarrassing, uh, crying stall guy.

Just...

Crying Stall Guy

Like, I was expecting someone to come out the bathroom stall after Thomas stopped talking, but...I honestly wasn't expecting that. God, that whole scene was so cringe worthy and fucking hilarious

Honestly, Thomas in the ep in general was a huge ass mOOD and we collective gay/bi disasters ALL related with him, and if you say you don't, you're either lying to yourself or a demon. 

There is no in between 

sorry I don't make the rules

Like, I get this series is literally a gay disaster talking to himself for thirty minutes or longer, but like- EMPHASIS on the 'disaster' part 😂

Like...Thomas, you're lucky you're such a goddamn bean, because GOD, I cringing so hard when he first started talking to Nico

Although, I too have apologized profusely for genuine mistakes and am a flustered bi mess around my crush sooo

😅

And god, Roman's "thirty = old man" jokes made me feel old...and I literally just turned twenty, like, come on, man!

Maybe that's because I was literally watching this ep after finishing my ACT and had been sitting with a bunch of high schoolers, with their tiny fucking desks and tiny fucking water fountains smeh

*clears throat*

Anyways, uh, we STAN Nico Pintrovert Florés in this house

Like

He gives me such big Carlos from WTNV vibes for some reason and this makes me sooo happy

and YESS, he's a WRITER

And he's??? So sweet?? A pure bean?? Just sits on his laptop at the mall food court all day, like a god-fucking iCON?? A Nightmare Before Christmas fan?? weARS GLASSES??

my hEART

*cries*

The fandom seems torn between "Nicomas" and "Karrot Kings" as a ship name atm—personally speaking, I'm casting my vote for the latter

*crosses fingers* please dont be another janus x remus multiple ship name issue guys, please please please I can't keep track of them all-

*clears throat*

On that note, I'm guess I'm gonna go try and whoo over my crush with carrots now. If THIS disaster can do it and make it actually fucking work, god damnit, so cAN I

Meanwhile, in hell, my brain's just screaming "CANON LOVE INTEREST CANON LOVE INTEREST CANON LOVE INTEREST-"

God, I hope Nico isn't just a one-shot character, he's too pure and Thomas and him are adorable gay Disney fans and I stan

Oh, I wonder how the other sides'll react to him.

Wait.

Oh god.

Oh god.

This ep just unleashed a new fresh hell of potential Nico x Sides ships, hasn't it?

Welp, time to prepare for ze incoming flood of fanfics, I guess. I'll get my umbrella and rain boots.

That last shot of Virgil during the endcard was so fucking ominous oh my god mom im scared can you come pick me up-

Goddammit, Thomas and Joan, I'm NOT fucking ready to be traumatized again, fUCK

I wish I wasn't a broke ass university student so I could contribute to Thomas's gloriously extra Patreon—both so I can support my favorite content creators who make this amazing blessed content and also, to join my boi Janus in fucking  destroying society by giving money to the people who actually deserve it, fuck YOU GOVERNMENT-

Okay. 

Okay. 

New headcanon time as to why Patton, Remus, and Logan weren't in the ep: they were helping Jan film that Patreon promotional video. 

Like

Remus directed it, Logan helped with the lighting and script, and Patton was just there as the cheerleader. 

The reason Janus made a dog with shadow puppets wasn't just to flaunt his deity status and prove how he is truly above us mere wretched mortals 

despite that being the absolute truth and we all know it, don't lie to yourselves

No, it was really him trying to do something cute and silly for Patton, because Moceit rights, daMMIT

*inhales*

noww 

guys, gals, and nonbinary pals

it’s time forr

the most wonderful time of the yearrr

WAITING FOR THE NEXT EPISODE

Step right up, folks! Hear ye, hear ye, my prediction for the next episode: Prinxiety v. Moceit! With special guest stars: Karrot Kings vibing in adorable gay and Intrulogical, bitter at being excluded aGAIN

Who will win? Who will lose? 

here’s a hint: we all will because in this sick twisted game they are no winners only losers-

Place your bets, folks! ✨

Haha im not readyyy~

tl;dr

this episode has cleared my skin, watered my crops, and ended my suffering—an adorable calm before the... angsty fucking shitstorm that’s coming far too soon. Prinxiety stans, enjoy your food. Place an 'F' in the chat for me and my fellow grieving Remus stans. Trashmas is the true OTP, but Karrot Kings is cute too I guess. I've only had Nico Florés for 24 minutes, but if anything happens to him, I'll kill everyone in this room and then myself. Purple eyeshadow Virgil makes me question my sexuality aGAIN, and happy gay disney prince rights y'all. Say a big ole 'fuck you' to capitalism by giving your local dapper snake moneys. Concussion makes brain go brr and imma go buy some carrots and be gay now.

psst hey @quarantinevibes2020​ you wanna join me in being disaster-y? i’ll bring my best gay stare and you bring the wine

Until next time, my lovelies! ~ Ches 🖤

[the-rogue-mockingjay]

Catch Up Meme

Tagged by @timeforelfnonsense thank you friend!! 🥰

THREE SHIPS: Brynja Ryder x Jaal Ama Darav (aka Brynjaal), Rose Harper x Nick Valentine (never shipped an mc with a character you can't romance in-game before so I'm real nervous, but that ain't stopping me yet!!), and uhhhhh hm. So many choices here. I'm gonna break the rules and put more than three: Korinna (MC) x Hadrian from The Golden Rose, Theia Kurinová (MC) x Nicolás María from Smoke & Velvet, Laura Lee x Nate Sewell from Wayhaven Chronicles. I am LIVING FOR ALL THIS INTERACTIVE FICTION Y'ALL.

LAST SONGS LISTENED TO:

Achilles, Come Down by Gang of Youths,

the version of the Wellerman sea shanty that had Mia Asano adding violin,

Sharm's cover of Daughter of the Sea,

The Lion's Roar by First Aid Kit (this, Daughter of the Sea, and Achilles are on the official playlist for The Northern Passage, another IF I am stupid in love with)

Also been listening to a lot of the Diamond City Radio songs, I love this genre of music so much but don't ask me what it's called bc I don't know 😂😂😂

Trøllabundin by Eivør Pálsdóttir (the vid on YouTube and floating around here on Tumbles where she's performing it by some body of water and there's a statue behind her. Listened to it a million times and I'm just as enchanted as I was when I first found it)

Presence by Joseph is stuck in my head atm and it's motivating me to get back to my ME:A fic since I associate it strongly with Brynja's older sister, Nadja yes I have 3 Ryder kids instead of the canon 2, fight me 😂

DESPERADO BY CELTIC THUNDER. ALSO A TON OF OTHER CELTIC THUNDER AND CELTIC WOMAN SONGS, THEY WERE MY CHILDHOOD 😭😭

CURRENTLY WATCHING: Honestly, I am SO terrible with TV shows, I'm not watching any atm but I am planning on a Star Wars Rebels rewatch with my best friend! Also had a movie night with another friend for my birthday last week and we watched Howl's Moving Castle, half of Scott Pilgrim vs the World, and half of Into the Spiderverse. Time was not our friend there, hence the halves 😂 It was the first time I watched a Ghibli movie tho and I LOVED IT SO MUCH.

CURRENTLY READING: No actual books atm bc I am also terrible with that, but I am keeping up with the aforementioned IFs, as well as Wayfarer by idrellegames, Greenwarden, aaaaand some others I don't remember off the top of my head.

HOW'S IT GOING? It's going I suppose 😂 Things are good but I accidentally trashed my sleep schedule and now am constantly staying up until 2-4 a.m.. Oops. I was supposed to start editing my fic this month but got hit with an ADD week from hell right out of the gate, and I'm only now coming to a place where I can pick it up again. Either my anxiety meds aren't working as well as they used to, or my constant forgetting of a different med and my trashed sleep schedule is screwing it all up. Idk. All in all tho, I'm doing pretty good!!!

My memory is FLAMING hot garbage so I'm not sure who has and hasn't done this, gonna go out on a limb and tag @asaara-writes, @pikapeppa, @theherocomplex, @lethendralis-paints, @schoute, @solas-disapproves 😊

[heyimtavia]

THE POST FINALE HENRY DANGER OPINIONS TAG:

Hey party people! Sorry I’ve been a bit out of the loop. Due to what’s going on in the world, adulting sorta got in the way and I have to DVR the final episode. No one tagged me, but I just wanted to add my two cents since this is officially the end and this is a really cute tag.

1. Who was your overall favorite member of Team Danger and why?

Charlotte hands down. She was brilliant, sassy and just a great friend to Henry no matter what. She’s one of the main reasons why I decided to tune into the show. I saw a lot of myself in her. I was once that little smart black girl that no one listened too. But it’s okay though, but that GLOW UP is real! I know from experience lol.

2. Who was your favorite non-team danger character and why?

Y'all know I love Fran the security guard. She should’ve gotten more air time. I just think she’s hilarious! I’d loved to see her try to wrestle a dolphin any day!

3. Who was your favorite villain and why?

Dr. Minyak & Nurse Cohort. I just gotta respect his hustle. Other than Rex and Rick Twitler, I feel like he’s the only everyday villain who always came close to defeating Captain Man & Kid Danger. He always had unique plans; from capturing and brain-altering Charlotte to taking Piper and the man fan hostage, he was always creative. Plus I love his little temper tantrums he sometimes throws. 

4. What were your top five favorite Henry Danger episodes of all time and why?

1) All time Fav would go to The Great Cactus Con. From the dopeyness of how everyone can do a backflip instead of Ray. How Charlotte gets to show off her fashion design skills. How Piper unofficially works with Team Danger. Plus I love the cute romantic bit between Jasper and Patina. 2) Rumblr- That whole episode was just comedy gold for me. They should’ve brought Kyle back for the finale and had him show up at kid danger’s funeral  3) I dream of Danger - Its Char’s episode. I like how it alluded to Charlotte’s dream might come true but it doesn’t. However, I don’t like how they just moved on like the episode never happened even when Jasper thinks that char likes him. 4) Flabber Gassed- I love that char got to show off her fighting skills and how happy Jasper was to be a superhero. 5) Holey Moley- I straight up die for laughter every time I see that episode. I love how Henry kept saying, “oh look, a downside.” I feel like that episode would have been a sketch on All That or the Amanda Show. It just felt like good ole Nickelodeon comedy.

5. What were your top five least favorite Henry Danger episodes of all time and why?

1) Henry’s Birthday- Call me a diva, but if anyone treated me like that on my birthday, the party is OVER! 2) Captain Makini (I think that's what it’s called). Sorry, I'm not really a fan of Frankie Grande and though he was great for the musical, I really don’t think he needed a second episode. 3) Meet Cute Crush- I’m sorry, anything involving Piper is just physical and emotionally draining. All that girl does is yell. Thank u, next. 4) Sick & Wired- Because I got sick and tired of Ray’s shenanigans. 5) JAM Session- Now Piper isn’t my favorite character, but how that girl was manipulated all over a bet was just stupid and disrespectful.

6. What was your favorite running gag and why?

1) Fran’s line, “There’s only one in the whole world, and we got it!” Swellview must be a fun, mysterious place that always gets amazing things lol. 2) When everyone says “Click” before hanging up their phone. I find it funny because I’m pretty sure the kids had never owned a flip phone in their lives.

7. What was your favorite one-off throw away gag and why?

When shwoz referenced his song from the musical when he said, “Science, science, science, I’ve said this already.” I think he said this in Theranos boot. And also the grammar fights and how grammar rules don’t apply to Charlotte lol.

8. What episode, which character and which duo made you laugh the most?

I think Holey Moley & Rumblr both made me laugh the most. Those were great episodes. Jasper would have to be the funniest. That boy says the darndest things lol. Hensper. Because of how Henry loved Jasper’s mustache and wanted to get one too. And when Jasper and Henry were both “Dude. Bro. Dude. Bro. DUDE!” Over the Patina situation and Charlotte had to break them up.

9. What episode, which character and which duo made you the most emotional?

I think it was Second episode of the finale episodes, when Henry was freaking out at the end because he was alone and Rex had sent Ray A Million and one years into the past. The fact that he literally had to think like all of his friends because obviously that’s what he was used to, everyone being there to help figure out a plan and keep swellview safe. And the fact that for that moment he was kid danger and all alone was really scary for him.

10. How would you rank each season from 1 to 5, one being the best and five being the worst?

I would rank season 5 as 1. It overall had great episodes and delved into different genres and fun tv and movie tropes. It made it a joy to watch, though some episodes leading towards the end didn’t quite catch me. Season 4 would be like a high 4 but not exactly a 5. Season 3 was sorta Meh to me. So maybe a #.  Season 2 would be a 4 and season 1 would be like a 4 because it was a the beginning to a great show and was still working out the kinks a bit.

11. Who was your favorite duo in the show (romantic or non-romantic)?

Chenry 100%. The friendship that those two have is great! Now I must say, I hate that Nick was still posting about them on their youtube page for clout knowing that it wasn’t gonna happen. I felt like they did that just so people would watch the final episodes. I was gonna watch regardless, but really Nick? Really?

12. What was your favorite Henry and Ray moment/episode?

The bro song! Plus I love that it kept getting referenced after the musical as well.

13. What was your favorite Chenry moment/episode?

 When Char was controlling  Henry in flabber gassed, she made him jump up and down while clapping! I love that even shwoz joined in too lol. And when Henry was concerned about her after she ate bad meat from the auto snacker.

14. What was your favorite Hensper moment/episode?

The mustache scene from Grand Theft Otto, “dude if I had one, I’d be Man Danger!”

15. What was your favorite Chensper moment/episode?

This also kinda includes Ray but when they were all stealing Joss Ross’s gift from her birthday party and they were just casually leaving. And how Jasper kept saying, “It’s not stealing if it’s from a criminal.” Plus I like the episode when Hen and Char have to pretend to date just to see if Jasper would keep their secret. The boy poured a whole bowl of pees down his shirt lmaoooo!!

16. If you could go back and change one element of the show, what would it be?

 Have Ray grow up and stop fawning over Henry’s mom. It was just plain creepy! Oh and put some respect on my girl Charlotte’s name.

17. If you could say one thing to each main character in the pilot, what would it be?

Life isn’t always about one day getting a statue, (I’m looking at YOU Captain Man). Crime-fighting is fun and being a sidekick could literally every kid’s dream. But don’t forget to be a kid. Hangout with your friends, go to school, go on dates. Do the whole growing up thing. But at the end of the day, you have to do what’s best for you.

18. If you could say one thing to each main character in the finale, what would it be?

Thank you for sharing your lives with me and I am so so sooo proud of you all! 

19. Were you satisfied with the finale? What part was your favorite and what part was your least favorite?

 Honestly, I think it was okay for what it was. My fav part was when Jasper literally had to carry Char out of the mancave because she refused to leave Henry behind. I love that they decided to stick together. They did leave a lot of storylines open. I thought Joss Moss would be revealed as the real Mob boss. I thought Rick Twitler would regain his memory. Where the heck is Gooch? Caitlin? Chenry (for obvious reasons). I'm just spitballing here. Was it good? Yes. could it have been better? Hell yes.

20. What would your ideal Henry danger spin off look like?

 Charlotte and Henry have powers and Jasper can fight! Dystopia. That was the spin-off that I wanted! I don’t really care about the new kids as much. They’re college-aged too? Just imagine the shenanigans they would get into! But we need to kick the Charlotte hating writer off the staff though. Can The CW pick this show up?

21. Where do you personally see the characters 10 years from now? What are they doing, who are they with, where are they in their lives - what do you think happened to them? Most importantly, are they happy?

 I honestly haven’t thought about it. But I believe no matter what they do or where they may end up, they will be happy. They’ll probably always be a team.

22. What was your favorite part of the show and why did it initially draw you in?

It became an escape from my normal adult life. (I’m saying like I’m old. I’m only 23.) I randomly flipped it on one day, I can't remember what episode it was, but from then on, I was hooked. I used to watch it a while back, but I fell off, but at that moment on time, it was easy for me to fall right back into it.

23. What was your favourite part of the fandom and why did it initially draw you in?

The friends I’ve made, the people have met! They are the best out of all the fandoms I’m a part of. I’ve been on tumblr for years and never had I have a group of people be so nice, supportive and just incorporate me into things. I love you guys so much!

24. Describe your overall emotions/feelings regarding the show being over and the show in general, looking back on it as a whole, with one quote from the show.

It’s a bittersweet feeling. I hate to see it go. But all good things must come to an end. But I guess there’s nothing better to say than, “Feels Good.”

25. If you were able to add one scene in the finale, what would you add?

 I don’t know honestly. Maybe we could have seen him reunite with his friends and family. Especially Charlotte and Jasper, Afterall, they probably thought that their best friend was dead for all they knew.

26. Favorite outfit/hair style?

 Charlotte’s Date outfit with Jack Swagger. Sis was rockin that romper. Also when Jasper and Charlotte were helper bunnies! Those outfits were hilarious and cute.

27.Least favorite character?

I'm sorry but Piper. She was worse than the whole annoying little sister trope. I swear all ash did was yell through most of the seasons and then they gave this chick a driver’s license, I mean what?? Plus i think her reaction to finding out Henry was kid danger was better in Broken Armed and Dangerous, than in twisted sister. 

28. What is question you would like to ask the writers/ producers?

Im tagging @adorkable-blackgirl @chenoahchantel

[seenashwrite]

Notes From Nash: Season 15 Episode 1

So here's the thing.

It wasn't bad.

It wasn't great.

Both those things are fine, of course shouldn’t want it to be bad, and matter of fact I didn't need nor want it to be great, better to save great for the finale.

But thing is, it was meh.

The premiere episode of your final season should be tight, tight, tight - no extraneous information or scenes, get in and get out, convey the most crucial of information, lay a foundation upon which to build.

And, well.... 

Meh. 

[Of course, spoilers below cut]

Before we go on - If you're new, hi, I'm Nash. I don't so much recap these things (though I have been known to on occasion, time permitting) as break 'em down regarding the writing. I don't go in any particular order, sometimes it's in order of the ep, sometimes it's topically organized. Bail now if you're interested in meta and reading into shit or whatever. This is constructive critique, where I call it like I see it, both the nailed it-s and the whiffed it-s.

To begin with, let's get this out of the way - because it's relevant to what I'm about to say - that whomever is responsible for approving the release of the Jake Abel-as-Michael shots and the Sam-might-be-Samifer shots and the Dean-Mark-of-Cain shots and hey-is-that-Gabriel's-horn shots is a goddamned dimwit. They just blew some of their wad, right there. That should've been saved for gut-punches in episodes, not in previews and behind-the-scenes and all that other marketing jazz.

That foundation I mentioned before - I get what the season is going to be because, even if I hadn't picked up on it before-----

I had.

-----then I certainly did thanks to Sam's exposition anvil there at the end. *insert eye-roll*  And speaking of the end, that flashback to the shutting of the trunk was so hamfisted, it just... it just wasn't necessary. I've said this before: leave little treats for your longtime fans. That could’ve been one, that echo back to the beginning, but they whiffed it with that insert of the clip. And that's what the entirety of this season should be, frankly. There should be *zero* explaining, *minimal* flashing back, because if somebody's coming into this on year fifteen, then welcome to the fam and all, and also I am so sorry, you need to binge the fuck out of everything and then join in, we ain't got time for that. Neither should the writers. Them's the breaks. They don’t need to accrue new fans for higher/sustained ratings, it’s the end of the goddamn show, so quit spoon-feeding explanations, and with that nice little moment getting skewered, I groan at the thought of all the flashing back and explaining that could potentially lie ahead. 

So, foundation: is the foundation we're building upon this little town? Since that’s where we spent 98% of our precious season premiere time? This town where the ghosts who were interchangeably referred to as souls from hell are all clustered instead of flying away to wherever the fuck they want? Also, don't monster “souls” go to Purgatory? That specific clown was a creature, a rakshasa, not a ghost. If this is the ghost of that monster, did Purgatory bust open, too? If not, why? Why weren't souls also expelled from Heaven? From the Empty? From the Veil? The logical answer is, of course, because Sam and Dean would be no match for all of those, and we have to get them to the end of the season. But those are some nice places to start for laying a foundation: the rules of the game. At least some of the rules, so that they aren’t all dropped in one fell swoop with an exposition anvil from someone later down the road.

****

---> ETA: Several people have brought up to me that the clown is Gacy, not the Rakshasa who appeared as a clown in Season 2 Episode 2 "Everybody Loves A Clown". 

Two things here:

(1) Yes, I checked, and see what y'all mean - the clown we saw is indeed dolled up just like the Gacy ghost from end of S14. I think the writers whiffed this because... 

(2) ...the Rakshasa fits more with what they've shown in 15.1 (the Rak went after a child at her house in 2.2), and it also fits the theme of ghosts from the way-back-when, re: Bloody Mary and Woman In White, so since they've got such a hard-on for this Sam-and-clowns thing and apparently want to drive it into the ground, they should've chosen the Rak  

Also worth noting, the writers never should have made it Gacy in the first place, the most cursory google of Gacy would've told them that the clown thing has been blown way out of proportion and has essentially nothing to do with his murdering (i.e. - it wasn’t his killin’ costume/part of his killing m.o./routine). I won't go into detail here, you can go on that journey yourselves, but his jam was not going after a cabin full of teens, nor children’s birthday parties, nor was it just willy-nilly murdering whomever he laid eyes on. 

It was stupid call by the writers, and they should feel stupid.

****

[pause]

The reason I mention all of these places: these aren’t just the monsters that Dean and Sam have killed. This is what it *should* have been. But I feel - at this point, having no other info - that this is a major whiff on the writers’ parts, having all the souls in hell come to the surface. Because that’s what new demon friend said - that all the doors opened, that hell was chaos. So it’s not just the ones that Sam and Dean killed, at least that’s what I’m divining from that statement. 

[unpause]

I give no fucks about this little town. Try this: Have them going back to the bunker to re-group and seeing things along the way, such as that car on the side of the road like they did. Perhaps they hear about a massacre at a slumber party from Jody. Perhaps Sam is checking the internet while Cas is frowning and looking at his wound, and is like "A mother and child escaped from a birthday party where a bunch of people were killed and they swear it's a clown. Dean - these are all our old cases."

[pause]

Stop with Sam and clowns. We got it. 

NO REALLY WE GOT IT

Or if gonna do it, be creative about it. 

---> shameless plug <---

[unpause]

Then speaking of Cas and the bullet wound - another bit of bad writing, here. Subtlety, writers. Look it up. Here's how it should've gone:

. Cas: [frowning as hand hovers over Sam's shoulder]

Sam: What?

Cas: [narrows eyes; hesitates] Something... I'm not certain. [meets Sam's eye] I don't think I'm able to heal it completely. Are you in much pain?

Sam: [seeming a bit surprised at his own answer] No, actually. It's not-----

[Sam cuts himself off as Cas' hand makes contact with his shoulder; sees blurry, muddled flashes of suggestive visions; gasps and stumbles back] .

See? We arrived at the same place, but elegantly. Less "YOU'RE TOTALLY GONNA BE LIKE A SAMIFER SOMETHING-SOMETHING YOUR VISIONS ARE BACK BLEEEECCCCHHH VOMITS CHUNKY FORESHADOWING"

The point is, the fuck with this town? We're back there next week, too? WHO CARES. And I bet you money, with how much time they wasted in this ep and the time I betcha they're gonna waste next ep, that I----

Er, um. I mean that "they". Ahem. The writers.

----could've combined whatever is going to be accomplished next ep into this one for an actually meaty season premiere. Which this was not. This was not a hearty, filling steak. This was yesterday's meatloaf that's still pretty tasty but soggy.

It's the little things. You scrap every single extraneous bit. Seconds are precious because when you add up enough clumps of them, they can equal minutes. Here's a tiny example: Sam laying on the floor of the crypt and being like "I hear water" then it's like "you hear water?" then "yeah maybe it's a drainage line" then "or a sewer" then "let's break this open", then the breaking, then here comes corpsey friend.

Instead: They're talking and there's increasingly aggressive banging on the door, they all scootch a little closer to the opposite wall, then corpsey busts through. We don't need all that blah-blah. And as much as I love new demon friend, I genuinely do, there was too much blah-blah-banter with him, as well. Huge props on the Alastair callback, *that* is the shit I was talking about earlier, callbacks with no other explanation, just the look on Dean's face when he said it was plenty. Well played, there. 

Otherwise, let's goooooooooo. The pacing was all off, there was *way* too much time wasted, especially with all the Sam and Cas going through the town stuff. Easily two-to-three minutes could've been shaved off of that alone.

Because here we are: what was accomplished that was of import? Jack's body is possessed (and that demon is great, best part of the ep), and he confirmed the cage is open. This is interesting info to have. We got a glimpse of the return of Sam's visions, which hints at a return to how the guys were in the past, so might make us think they - along with the world - are in rewind mode, as well. Also interesting to ponder upon.

[pause]

Which, this then begs: why is Cas not being reset, too? Why are his powers still wonky? Wouldn't THAT have been a real kick in the pants, seeing Cas whup some ass, even if just moderately here at the first and everybody having a "WHOA" moment of looks at each other? And then if so, continuing with the earlier questions that at least should have been asked - I don’t expect answers in ep one but lay the foundation via asks - are all the angels back, as well? Is Billie still officially Death? Because Dean killed Death, did he not? So is O.G. Death back?

[unpause]

And... that's it. That’s what we learned. We knew at the end of last season that Chuck was resetting things. This wasn't new information. We were given the scenes of Bloody Mary and the woman in white and the clown at the end of 14's finale. So this information doesn't count. And like I said above, the guys catching on to this could've been handled in a more expedited fashion so that we can get on with it. The writers have very little time to wrap up the show, and thus far I’m not encouraged by what I’ve seen.

::sigh::

We got work to do, indeed.

[nozomijoestar]

Transcribed and formatted for readability the master thesis between me and @wlwclem​ on the nuances to NaraTrish together and as individuals being why we love it and respect it not being CompHet- we spent way too much Big Brain Energy on it to not share 

tw: brief mention of F-Slur when giving an example on toxic masculinity being bullshit, sexuality is briefly discussed in a non sexualizing way and in no graphic detail

*insert IM TRISH KIN BUCCIARATI joke here*

epickinnienaranciaYesterday at 11:45 PM

JDDBSJDBD YES bc ofc she gotta be Reassuring but at the same time his Himboism Knows No Bounds One of the lines in EoH u can give her is “Go get me an Italian Vogue magazine too while you’re at it” and I’m like. Queen

nozomijoestarYesterday at 11:46 PM

JDHDHDF BDE Narancia whipped Narancia stands no chance

epickinnienaranciaYesterday at 11:46 PM

OH FOR REAL one of HIS victory lines is something about getting all the stuff for her lmao And this is like even if she isn’t in the battle, Always Thinking Of His Queen

nozomijoestarYesterday at 11:50 PM

Trish decides to test the limits of this and his ability to recognize them by asking for impossible or nonexistent items/feats and when he continues to try for her without question she realizes she has too much power and must restrain it fjdjjdjfjf Can't turn into Dad

epickinnienaranciaYesterday at 11:51 PM

JDBDBSJS The color palette changes while she has an inner monologue while she watches him try to make her happy

nozomijoestarYesterday at 11:53 PM

"Oh my god Bucciarati was right...he's too loyal for his own good I need to stop even if it's a little fun"   Meanwhile Narancia: growing more and more frustrated with himself for perceived failure to someone he loves

epickinnienaranciaYesterday at 11:55 PM

She stops for the most part but does it every so often bc it’s cute

nozomijoestarYesterday at 11:56 PM

Lucky to have a freak like dat I feel like the only thing that can counter this self defeatism Narancia can get (bc his younger childhood...ofc he's fucked up and anxious and paranoid abt not being enough or abandoned) is Trish having to open her own repressed self up and love the shit out of himLike those reassuring lines she has in EoH and her moments in the anime/manga Bruno fucking does it as his father figure and Narancia admits it gives him strength

December 19, 2019

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:04 AM

Yes, he feels like he has to prove his worth and like he’s worth having around otherwise he’s useless, i def feel like he would not like talking about the stuff that happened in the past with everyone bc he would feel ashamed and stupid or st, he needs to be told You Are Enough and her to open up too so they can lean on each other

nozomijoestarToday at 12:12 AM

Honestly no jokes for a second I feel like this is also abt breaking toxic masculinity bc it's fucking Italy in the early 00s just out of the 90s...it was RIFE rifer than even now with that shit like in much of the world then too, the idea that a boy becoming a man and men in general need to strictly follow dumbass self harming rules

 especially abt not opening up and only having real priorities for earning money, honoring family, and procreating as much as possible whether it's marriage making a family or "having sexual conquests" in promiscuity, anything outside of this bullshit image can't be tolerated and you might as well be a woman or "a fag" if you don't assert some fictional narrative of trying extremely hard to have power in everything bc that's all that matters is the ridiculous idea of Alpha Males applied to humans 

Narancia being a 80s- 90s kid with the childhood he had did not give him much fighting chance at all in this context and time period  esp just bc he happened to be born with a dick and thus saddled with these harmful expectations society made that could've only further repressed his recognition of not beating himself up and his own emotional needs on top of EVERYONE ever betraying him Where was he supposed to go? He can't go anywhere unless he meets Bruno

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:18 AM

yes i agree..... like, males being looked down upon for opening up, being societally forced to shoulder the burdens and “man up” and just deal with it and fix everything. And then already having a toxic support system with his “friend” betraying him and his dad Sucking Major Ass, all he’s been taught is deal with it but hasn’t been given the tools to know how, and if Bruno didn’t meet him he honestly would be so stuck, what person (esp in that time period) is going to go out of their way to help an uneducated young male?

nozomijoestarToday at 12:20 AM

Even if it tragically ends with his death in canon I feel like the time he spent with Bruno's bois, Giorno, and Trish was huge in making some of that crack little by littleBc he has moments where you see how sweet he actually is, his "real" personality if you will underneath all the unresolved anger when he's with ppl he sees love him and give him hope When Giorno said No One Is Going To Hurt You Anymore that just made me cry harder

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:23 AM

Yes! Like, ofc he gets angry, has unrepressed rage and reactions to things, he hasn’t had any type of emotional support in SO long and it’s not like it’s 100% fantastic in that regard with buccigang (which don’t get me wrong they are family but they are still in an aggressive gang and go off and give each other lots of shit)-YEAH AND THE FUCKIGN PLANT GROWING TOO IM

nozomijoestarToday at 12:25 AM

Trish is legit I think the one person aside from Giorno who would treat him without even the gang's aggressiveness Narancia is my fav in VA even if Bruno is the best written VA character bc he's me, this kind of shit in my life is why I developed PTSD undiagnosed since my childhood that only kept getting worse until only this year have I gotten any true help I know exactly how he feels 

Esp when you think your whole life exists to serve others never yourself NaraGio shippers I see y'all argument even if I don't follow it tbh, Gio was again the only one besides Trish to consistently care for Nara in day to day and when he was in danger and esp during the Clash and Talking Heads fight Gio was the one dude present like No Narancia It's Ok Please Tell Me What's Wrong You're Clearly Stressed

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:31 AM

yeah although i haven’t experienced it i can still empathize and try to understand, i think there’s so many layers of protection and walls that most people never truly look past it to see the root cause or true self YES that fight was so frustrating bc they were all like Narancia stop being an idiot when something was clearly wrong and he was obviously in distress!!

nozomijoestarToday at 12:32 AM

Also Gio was the only one who first asserted that No, Narancia did the right thing in fighting Formaggio

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:33 AM

Yes and with that whole interaction the gang often uses Narancia as the scapegoat essentially and just give him shit for every little thing without trying to understand his POV

nozomijoestarToday at 12:33 AM

The Clash fight tbh I feel was an ass pull set up to give Narancia his big bad ass loyalty proving moment even if it's a great fight that beginning part is...only the Trish and Gio interactions rly make sense fjdjdjI wish him and Giorno hung out more or I guess more like talked more bc you can't rly hang out when you're getting assassinated every day hfgdg

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:36 AM

Yeah hdkdb, even with Fugo, even tho he found him and brought him to Bruno, he still calls him a dumbass, stabs him with a fork and shit, and then with Mista even tho I feel like they are Like Bros, he destroys Narancia’s radio for no fucking reason and also has a pattern of taking shit Narancia paid for without paying him backI def agree with that, I feel like Giorno interactions were lacking in that there really weren’t many one on one meaningful things so it’s hard for me to grasp his personal headspace and relationships a lot of the time

nozomijoestarToday at 12:37 AM

However to be a little more fair to the Bucci gang the manga version has Narancia trying a lot lot more to get their attention in logical ways that unfortunately Talking Heads completely ruins, he tried writing to let them know what was happening and TH warped the text into him saying vulgar things bragging abt his dick being a powerful Stand

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:38 AM

Yeah I was gonna add I wasn’t sure if the manga had other stuff, tbf

nozomijoestarToday at 12:38 AM

I think this is also Shounen Tropes of the 90s at play too the "child" character was often written as the comic relief dumbass Narancia suffers it so it does add a layer of Not Good to his relationships The trope still exists tbh Anime cut out him writing I assume bc it's too sexual It's already pushing it having him whip it out and piss in front of everyone jfhdhd

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:41 AM

Yeah you right, it’s like the i want it to be that deep meme, like Araki obvi doesn’t have him only as comic relief but if he delved into his character more there would’ve been so much more that could’ve been done and shown YEAH DJDBDJDJF I WAS SURPRISED THT WAS ANIMATED

------------------------[ CUT INTERMISSION ]-----------------------------

nozomijoestarToday at 12:51 AM

Ok but to get back on track with where I was trying to go even opening this all up is how it's critical to NaraTrish in a mutually beneficial way

nozomijoestarToday at 1:01 AM

Nara is no incel he's a King obvs but he is also at heart a confused scared kid uncertain of anything in the world beyond what's closest in his grasp and without someone actively believing in and validating him he can't fully achieve awareness of healthy dynamics and even the problems within the ones he already has with his gang and Bruno- Trish doesn't have to babysit him and be the stereotypical The Woman Only Supports And Gives Up Her Body bc thats never her and couldn't be her and Narancia wouldn't make her that way bc even when he kinda touches on that (giving in a bit to the idea that men are the main protectors of women) when he gets too fixated on wanting what he thinks is for her wellbeing he does snap out and acknowledge he's wrong bc 

Trish by her independent nature and tremendous Will proves those stereotypes are bullshit, not even factoring in their first meeting as already making a huge impression on his beliefs of what girls can do- Trish knowing how to challenge him by staying true to herself yet having the compassion to help someone suffering and with fewer chances from birth than she had would not only win him over but give him something even Bruno can't, self sustaining confidence, bc Trish isn't part of a chain of command, she's just a girl in love with a boy who wants him to be happy and that concept while foreign to him for so long once it kicks in he could actually learn to build himself For himself and For someone who wouldn't use him for some greater schemes or dirty work, 

I love Bruno ok he's one of the best characters in anything ever but his flaw in his ability to help motivate ppl is tied to that fact that he's bringing them into a dangerous strict order of command to Serve not entirely in a place/way that lets them just be themselves and realize organic loving relationships with anyone and themselves SO

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:05 AM

they’re healing...... being shown love without a position of authority or any obligations is so powerful for his growth

nozomijoestarToday at 1:25 AM

That all being said, Everything Trish does he's paying attention to, she keeps him alive during the Grateful Dead fight not because she needs him to serve for a cause ( a cause might I add even Bruno the near saint he is was ready to let Nara go right then and there for bc death is in the job description) but because she doesn't know him well yet and shit he even swung a knife at her when they first met over who was in the bathroom, but he's a person suffering and in pain and to let him die even if it's Expected Of The Mission is garbage to her even if she respects Bruno down the line as a father compared to fucking evil Diavolo,

 Trish constantly goes out her way to do these things for Nara bc Trish instinctively knows he's the most vulnerable mentally and her sense of compassion and justice (likely something Donatella made sure to instill in her before her death by cherishing Trish and spoiling her even as a single mother) will not stand to not help someone when she could've- and he reciprocates it even if in disbelief bc he can tell This Person Is Safety, This Person Is Like Me Yet Not, A Better Me I Want To Be, by the time he's about to die someone with his fragile mind was actually gaining conviction about taking control for himself on his own terms and he would risk even those chances to defend the person who actually helped him arrive there (along with Gio) in the first place, 

I think by the end of his life he rly did love her or start to, it being romantic or not is up to individual interpretation to which you know I'm in the romance camp, point is he found someone who truly taught him strength without him fully realizing it and did so without belittling him, if anything instead treating him only with love and kindness and patience (not being a door mat for him, but like, not treating him like ass like everyone else has their moments of either), I think anything Trish asks of him, this is all why he's so willing to do it on top of feeling deep  empathy, I've written in my character notes as well that like this goes even further to sex being one of the most intimate things there is, like I kno we jest and jape abt Teens Doing Dumb Shit bc we're clowns 

but the sheer vulnerability you have to have esp in a first love situation to be willing to go through with that for the first time ever takes a lot of trust and courage, aspects I think Trish was able to give him and would solidify in asking something seen as so important for many people from him, the headstrong Trish wants to be vulnerable for him and the slowly confidence boosted Narancia wants to accept that faith and trust and love and exchange it with his own of the same for her, it's not horny teens 100% it's two hurt but hopeful kids on the verge of having to be adults wanting to find another piece of identity in how they are with someone else, obvs it will forever be offscreen bc pedos deserve to be skinned alive 

I just feel that the components that would fuel them to do something teens try to do to feel more adult and bc hormones are a lot more based in growing maturity than pure lust, I think this is what I fully mean by Writing About Teens Exploring Love And Sexuality; Not Fetishizing And Reveling In Showing The Act Itself Especially For Disgusting Titillation, I think this and not explicitly writing the sex are the difference between child porn and creating realistic characters

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:36 AM

Yeah, it is going to sound like a dumb take but the topic of sex and sexuality itself is not inherently sexual, by which I meant it isn’t the focus — there’s SO much more to it and in this case especially it can be like the ultimate sign of love, trust, intimacy, compassion, trying to make your way as a teen through a harsh world, like I can go on. Nasties Dont Interact but the shying away from the mere mention of it in a non-sexualized context is unrealistic. 

 Yes The Grateful Dead fight i 1000% agree is so important in both his personal growth and the development of their relationship, I think it’s an important parallel that he is dumbfounded about her going to such lengths to keep him alive without the sense of duty/obligation versus Trish’s feelings and outbursts of confusion on why Bucciarati and his gang even cared about her, protecting her to the point of death being on the line.(edited)

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:44 AM

all these elements of complication and similarities between their characters is why ive gotten so passionate about both them and their relationship (whether romantic or platonic it’s really fucking strong and good), the story of two kids making it through adversity, learning to unshoulder their burdens and lean on others, the Found Family™️, and learning and growing together is just so much more fucking deep and complex than the mainstream bs that exists. 

now im not any type of elitist hipster but esp in male and female relationships portrayed in what feels like basically fucking everything are just like CompHet Bullshit and they’re together bc They Are Just Supposed To Be (not to mention the toxic masculinity culture within that where the women barely have character arcs and are just seen as objects anyways) But what I’m trying to say is that in this the relationship is real and it feels earned in a way that just isn’t there in so much other media out there(edited)

nozomijoestarToday at 1:48 AM

Honestly if we tweak this just a lil more this is basically Guts and Casca One of the greatest and saddest romances ever written

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:48 AM

i still have berserk bookmarked just haven’t gotten around to reading yet

nozomijoestarToday at 1:48 AM

If VA was a Seinen it's p much Berserk In Italy Also big brain...galaxy brain...everything you said was a fact signed sealed and delivered(edited)

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:51 AM

Wow we’re actually in sync and using the brain cell to its fullest extent tonight

nozomijoestarToday at 1:51 AM

When I say she's his world and he's hers this is what I mean, not comphet hdhdhfhYEAH HFHDG

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:52 AM

(also my phone autocorrected “and” to “ANF” bc of twdg..... it also sometimes changes it to “AMD” bc I work in technology. My Phone Knows My Interests Are More Important To Me Than One Of The Main Parts Of Speech. Iconic)YESSSS they’re just SO GOOD there’s so much to articulate!

nozomijoestarToday at 1:55 AM

She was his Queen, and god help anyone who disrespected his Queen

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:55 AM

JDBDHE SHIT THE FUCK IP DKDBEBDJFBBD

nozomijoestarToday at 1:56 AM

Buy my silence $8000 a month

[ashleyfanfic]

Y'all done made me get my laptop out so I can type this and not on my phone. That’s how damn tired I am of it.

I am a Dany fan(Stan). But let me be clear in saying that I am also a Jon Snow fan(Stan). You people out here spewing your hate on one or the other are getting on my last fucking nerve because you’re all missing the fucking point of Jon and Dany’s entire arc! 

Dany’s Arc since coming to the North She’s having to contend with a people who didn’t sign up to be her people. Their king, the man they named king, named her his queen. Now, not one of them have asked why he did this, but you can tell they’re looking at him and her and made assumptions that it’s just because they’re together. But like Jon had to do when he was at Dragonstone, maybe it would make a little too much sense for them to ask why he’s so devoted to her. So, her arc is first coming to a place she doesn’t necessarily want to be, fighting a war she hadn’t intended on fighting, beside the man she loves. That’s all hard going for her. I think ep 3 will add some more layers onto this. Jon’s Arc since coming to the North Trying to logically reason with illogical people about bending the knee. Even his own sisters have doubts about why he did what he did and don’t actually ask as much as accuse him of being disloyal to his family or forgetting who he was. Then Sam drops the truth on him, not in a way that would have softened the blow for his best friend, the man who had always protected him but drops it in such a way it’s a gut punch and meant to drive a wedge between Jon and Daenerys. 

I know people take issue with Dany’s reaction to what Jon said to her, but wouldn’t you? I mean, you just got told that the man you love is a long lost relative and people will say he has a better claim simply because he’s a man? And then these same people turn around and chastise the fact that Jon will tell her he doesn’t want it and that makes him a bad person because he’s stepping away from it because of her? He loves her, you dope. He also doesn’t want to be a king, has never wanted to be a king, and if you don’t understand that, then you don’t fucking understand Jon Snow. He took positions of power because they named him or he was the best person. If he steps aside it’s because he believes in Daenerys. 

I don’t give a shit about your “A man steps in front of a woman to take her place even though she’s been working for it her whole life”. Correction, she’s been working for it since she decided she wasn’t just going to be a pet for Drogo and actively started taking on the role of Khaleesi. Jon didn’t know the opportunity was even out there.

But even if he did, what are you implying? That Jon has done nothing? Jon joined the Night’s Watch and became a steward to the Lord Commander and saved his fucking life from a wight. That’s how he got Longclaw. Then he goes beyond the wall with his brothers and gets captured by Wildlings and kills one of his own men in order to ingratiate himself with those people. In doing so, he learns that they aren’t as horrible as he thought. They were people who had the misfortune of being born on the wrong side of the wall and were trying to survive. Some are bloodthirsty cannibals, but your more rational Wildlings, like Ygritte and Tormund, don’t like that group. He still gets back to the Wall and helps his brothers fortify Castle Black and fights against them. It’s because of Jon that they win that battle. He executes Janos Slynt for not following order (and good thing Janos didn’t have any family that would have made him sympathetic to the group). Then we have him go save the Wildlings, fight the Army of the Dead, and watch in horror as all those killed were resurrected as dead. He was killed for this. Those people he saved, the Wildlings, came to fight and protect Jon even in death. He fought to win back Winterfell even knowing that the odds were against them. And he went south to meet with a potential enemy/ally because he saw they needed help. Jon didn’t know he was a prince. No one thought to tell him that before he went to the Wall, but I wouldn’t say he’s done nothing to deserve the crown.

And then there’s Dany, and the ole girl had a shit time of it as well. Her own family member sold her to a warlord for his army. Said family member was abusive and her husband raped her repeatedly. Even to the point where sitting in the saddle was painful. Her husband died, her baby died, all because of decisions she made. Those events made her even less trusting in others than she was previously. But she hatched Dragons in the fire. She made it through the Red Waste, the exact opposite environment that Jon Snow was living in. Her people were slaughtered so the dragons could be taken. She survived that and managed, through her own wits and not informing any of her advisors as to her plan, to acquire the Unsullied army who chose to follow her after she freed them. She takes Yunkai and Meereen and even marries a man she despises and reopens the fighting pits because she’s looking to make the people happy. She didn’t sail to Westeros when she was able. She stayed to try to make the lives of the freed slaves better. She learned the pitfalls of ruling and how hard it was. You know what she did learn? You can’t make everybody happy. She took the Dothraki, not with her dragons, but with her own plans. Everyone proclaims she’s nothing without her dragons, yet she managed to kill all the khals and took the Khalasar with fire and a well-placed lock on the door. She finally settles the issue with the Masters (by showing her ultimate power). She sails to Westeros and because she abandons her plans in favor of Tyrion’s plan, clever men, she loses all of her allies. She’s spitting mad when she learns about Highgarden but turns to someone who isn’t in her counsel and asks what he would do. Because Dany has proven that she will listen. She defeated the Lannister army coming back from Highgarden. 

But the same can be said for Jon which is why I don’t think EITHER of them will take it. Love is the death of duty. Jon and Dany love one another. Yes, fam, she loves him. He loves her. They have been beating us over the head with it over two years. They love one another. Yeah, they’re adding in drama, but they kind of have to. People would bitch, moan, and complain if there wasn’t some drama around this revelation.  But let’s go back to how he tells hers: They’re alone. He’s been avoiding her and she’s finally had enough and seeks him out. She finds him in the crypts and doesn’t approach him any further until he smiles at her and nods. She wraps her arms around him, he holds her hands as he stares at Lyanna’s statue. She asks who they’re looking at and he only says “Lyanna Stark”. She then starts speaking about her brother Rhaegar and how he was good and decent, loved to sing and gave money to orphans, and he raped her. She couldn’t wrap her mind around that. Jon tells her that he didn’t. They were in love. It’s not meant to hurt her, but I believe he was hoping that by telling her that, it was meant to soften some of what she believed about her brother, a brother she clearly loves even though she never met him. The look on her face is heartbreak and disbelief. She knows this changes everything. Because it’s not what either of them thinks their claim is, it’s what other people will think. They’ll push her aside for the male heir. And speaking of a male heir, Jon is the last of the Targaryens. The only one who can carry on the line. Dany has a habit of thinking of the long term, and she sees what’s going to happen. He’ll have to marry someone else, he’ll have to for their house to survive. And then people will really support his claim for the Iron Throne. 

But here’s how I think this plays out. I said above that I don’t think either of them will sit the throne, and I don’t. I think the world is going to change with this battle in ep3 and possibly ep5. I don’t really think there will be a throne to sit. Davos has already offered up the easiest solution: marry them. But Dany will be against this because she doesn’t believe she’ll be able to have children. She’ll make him go away because of this belief. I don’t believe Jon will ever do this willingly. He loves her. The throne means nothing to him, but belonging to a family does, and right now, Dany is his family. Sansa and Arya have already put themselves at odds against him because of how he feels for her. So he’s possibly going to fight Dany on this. I think we’ll get some trickery that will make them both realize how stupid they are for each other. Dany will have Jon’s baby, and I think this goes back to Emilia’s comment about how the end fucked her up. Think of it from her perspective. What has been Dany’s goal for the entire series, almost? To take the Iron Throne. She might have even expected Dany to die. But does anyone expect her to give up the throne to live out a peaceful life with the man she loves and her child(ren)? No. Dany wants to break the wheel that her ancestor Aegon built. What better way than to dissolve the monarchy? So, let’s say the last vision we see of Dany is that of a mother to an actual child, Jon at her side, with their dragons, living somewhere far away from Westeros. That would cause some people to be irate, but others to go, yeah, that’s what’s best for these two people who have done nothing but suffer. 

[weapon13whitefang]

Discussing Skybound’s Magazines [Team Delusional Mega Meta]

Time to have a little fun, Y'all!

Well… This STARTED as a fun project Saturday night and now it’s early Tuesday morning/Monday night [1AM] and I’M STILL fucking working on this thing… I finally finished it though so that’s pretty fun.

But guys… This took me three days and eighteen hours… Eighteen hours! This thing was written up in OpenOffice and it is long long, Y'all. Like I seriously just meant to do a simple break down… Not for it to get THIS fucking huge.

So if you’re going into this, be prepared to sit down and read for awhile…

On another note, while this is longer than I intended and I spent way too much time on it, this was meant to be fun. I enjoy metas and I like doing research and to me, this was a mixture of both and digging around is fun sometimes.

So this is in fun… It’s also a Team Defiance/Team Delusional meta. So a good chunk of things WILL be related to Beth Greene. I also incorporated other characters since other characters are essential to explaining things and can lead to a TD. But this is Beth centered mostly. It’s also centered on speculation of where things are going in the show.

I am aware that these magazines can mean absolutely nothing and were just made to be a gag and wordplay. But as I said, the idea of digging around them was meant for fun. So take what you will outta this LONG AS FUCK Meta.

That said, have fun and message me! Do you agree, do you disagree, do you think I’m a loco (of course I am but you can still ask!), what do you think?

Magazine 1: GQ [Fashion Magazine]

Magazine Topics

Right

Fall fashion guide Keeping an eye on the delicious new trend

12 Hats to add to your style bible

The sexiest zombie couple “alive”

Left

D&G Light Red: Walkers hate it, women can’t get enough of it

Carl Grimes is finally all grown up

How to win the war against the saviors

Stay chic in whichever year it is

Under the Magazine

Upgrade your wardrobe and stay fresh under the harshest and bloodies condition

First off, putting Chandler Riggs – Carl Grimes – as the face for a fashion magazine is interesting… But also hilarious to me. I’m just gonna say that first… That aside, look at the things listed above that this “apocalypse magazine” has labeled as its topics.

You see it? Well first let’s break it down. The first thing that caught my “eye” was the left side. “Fall fashion guide Keeping an eye on the delicious new trends” and “12 Hats to add to your style bible” and “The sexiest zombie couple “alive””. The whole thing about “keeping an eye” was obviously a jab at Carl losing his eye but it’s the fact that they highlight the word eye in red. As if they’re saying “keep a watch” or “pay attention”. The next thing we get is the use of the bible. For those that don’t know what they mean by fashion bible, they’re literally saying “here’s your scripture and law of what to wear in the apocalypse”.

The use of the word bible is odd in that the bible isn’t often used around Carl… But the hat is. And the hat is technically a nudge to Rick. That hat is a symbol of Rick’s past. Carl is literally walking around with one of the few symbols we have left of Rick’s past and who he was; Officer Friendly. And that hat has a history to it, right? Rick got shot, wore the hat when he came back into Atlanta on a horse. Even snatched it up off the street once he lost it. Carl got shot, got to have the hat after waking up in season 2 [CHEROKEE ROSE]. Out of everyone on the show, only three people have ever worn Rick’s hat. Rick himself, Carl, and… Beth.

Cherokee Rose [s02e04]

Carl Grimes: Hey, I’m like you now. We’ve both been shot. Isn’t that weird? Rick Grimes: [Rick smiles] Yeah, I think your mother would rather hear we got the same eyes. So let’s keep that between us. Since you’re in the club now, you get to wear the hat. Didn’t you know? We’ll pad the rim tomorrow so it sits better. Carl Grimes: [Rick hands over the sheriff hat to Carl] Won’t you miss it? Rick Grimes: Maybe you’ll let me borrow it from time to time. Carl Grimes: We can share it.

And

A [s04e16]

Beth Greene: There you go, Judith. There you go. Rick Grimes: Put it in at more of an angle… Whoa! Gonna have to get you a farming hat… [Rick places the sheriff hat on Beth] There’s a new sheriff in town. Beth Greene: [Giggling] How’s it look? Rick Grimes: [Laughing] Looks good. Hershel Greene: It can be like this all the time. Rick Grimes: It’s like this now. That’s enough.

That hat is Rick and Carl’s symbol. It was also made a symbol of “I was shot and survived” to, as stated in S2. Carl and Rick are the main focus of people who were critically shot and lived. Rick in the chest and in a coma. Carl in the stomach and with very few medical supplies from Hershel. Both surviving in practically impossible situations. That leaves Beth open for an impossible survival.

Now, this next part focuses mainly on Carl himself. The next thing it mentions is “The sexiest zombie couple “alive””. The quotation marks around the word alive is obviously a nudge at the whole “living dead” thing; a wordplay. But the thing is – with these magazines being created and presented in 2017 and the new spoiler that the reason we see Rick crying in a flashback like sequence is because Carl is going to be killed by Negan in season 8’s midseason finale – I’m wondering if this was meant to be a nudge to that spoiler of Carl dying this season. Carl was in a relationship with Enid as well (I would never label them as a sexy couple because Ewww they’re like sixteen) but they are a couple and could be a nudge to that. But I’m more focused on the “alive” word and how the main picture is of Carl and the whole spoilers for this season around his possible death… Which sucks. Just saying.

Next, let’s focus on the following

D&G Light Red: Walkers hate it, women can’t get enough of it

Carl Grimes is finally all grown up

How to win the war against the saviors

Stay chic in whichever year it is

First of, in case anyone is wondering, D&G stands for Dolce and Gabbana and there is no Light Red. There is, however, Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue Eau [Perfume]. The only D&G related thing in red I could come up with was Dolce & Gabbana Eau De Toilette: Natural Spray Vaporisateur [Perfume]. The fun thing about Light Blue is described as “a stunning perfume, overwhelming and irresistible like the joy of living”. D&G Eau De Toilette is described as “an intense and feminine scent for the confident woman.” Two possible nudged perfumes talking about women with one mentioning “joy of living” and the other talking about “confident women”. Let that circle in your head and tell me who that doesn’t make you think of.

The whole “Carl Grimes is finally all grown up” is a touch to the fact that Carl isn’t a kid anymore. He hasn’t technically been a kid in a long time. But Carl is no longer a twelve years old (In the comic he starts out nine and is currently thirteen) but is now going on around late fourteens/early fifteen. He’s a young man now… Which means Carl can be killed off on screen and brutally as opposed to how Sophia died as a walker, Lizzie and Mika had to be put down, and now Carl has a chance of pretty much being able to have a really fucked up death on the show because of the TV trope of how you don’t kill a child on screen. I mean yeah kids die on TV all the time and we see like vague and mortifying images of them dying. In films, I could name like twenty horrible children deaths at the top of my head. But on TV? Not so much… So Carl Grimes is old enough to be on the chopping block now.

“How to win the war against the saviors” is pretty self-explanatory – we’re in All Out War with them right now and this is obviously a nudge to the war. But… My mercy prevails over my wrath. When you let hate and rage and anger rule you, then you lose yourself and you lose your true purpose for living and you lose the purpose for why you are doing what you’re doing. Rick’s wrath is strong. It’s why he’s taking these pictures, why he had a hard time pulling back from Negan, why Father Gabriel got held back and is being held by Negan… His wrath is strong. Wrath can cloud your judgment, make you do stupid shit. Rick has done a lot of irrational shit since S5 (well he’s done that but shit got mad crazy by S5) and now he’s doing shit for the sake of basically assassination elimination. That’s going to bite his ass… Hard. And I’m pretty sure Carl is going to be the price.

“Stay chic in whichever year it is”. The word chic is an interesting word. It means “elegantly and stylishly fashionable” in the basic term… But as a whole, it has multiple meanings. Including “up-to-date” and “up-to-the-minute”. Clocks seem to be of some importance with the TD group and I myself don’t have much thought on them but they have foretold a lot of things and clocks have a lot of meaning in media so with time and date being in play with the wording, it seems to be a calling to keep watching the clocks and date related numbers maybe.

And with the wording of the magazine - Upgrade your wardrobe and stay fresh under the harshest and bloodies condition – I just wanna point out they made a typo but also… Bloodies(t) condition just gives me more hinting fear/sadness at Carl being the one to die in the MSF.

Magazine 2: Cosmopolitan

Magazine Topic

Left Side

21 moves that’ll make her say [Ungh!]

Til death do you part? Not so fast!

69 ways to pull off the swamp queen look.

Right Side

She said “grugh” to the dress

The wedding issue

The hottest mausoleum trends of the year!

How to tell if your husband’s dead on the inside

What’s your dead marriage IQ?

Exclusive! How Helmets can save your life

Under the Magazine

Just because you suffer doesn’t mean your fashion and lifestyle have to

First off, it’s a wedding issue. In season 7, Michonne and Rick had basically a wedding episode [SAY YES] and Rick stopped wearing his wedding band [letting Lori go], Weddings are associated with Churches, and Chapel by Nicole Dollanganger was the song that played after Denise’s death and it’s a song about getting married [Interesting!]

Okay, so I’ll get back to some of that in a minute because they mean something. What I just have to say now is that there are only a few things on this magazine cover that stood out to me. The rest of it is obviously playing off the zombie theme. But here’s the stuff that matters to me:

Til death do you part? Not so fast!

69 ways to pull off the swamp queen look.

The hottest mausoleum trends of the year!

How to tell if your husband’s dead on the inside

Exclusive! How Helmets can save your life

Obviously, I wanna talk about the “Til death to you part? Not so fast!”. Because, obviously, it’s a play on those that die coming back to life as walkers, but the thing that came to mind for me is of course, what you all probably think. There’s this whole centering around Beth returning. That she hasn’t died, right? Well, the saying “til death do us part” means “we’ll be together until the day we die”… But if Beth hasn’t died, then technically she hasn’t truly parted from the group. And in a sense, that’s true.

Beth lives on in small forms like Maggie’s memory or back when Daryl was trying to be good or in religion like Gabriel. Small things keep her alive in spirit, yes. But the adding of “Not so fast!” is saying “Well now hold up, just because I’m dead doesn’t mean we’re parting because I’m still here”. Maybe it’s a play on “You all thought I was dead but think again”. That’s where my mind went TD wise… Otherwise, it’s a nice little nudge to Maggie and Glenn as well and “I’ll look for you” as Glenn said and how he’s gone but he’s never gonna be forgotten by Mags and his family. And how Michonne and Rick are basically married now,

Swamp Queen makes me think of the Okefenokee Swamps that straddle the line between Georgia and Florida. Georgia makes me think of Atlanta and Georgia. Where Morales and Beth and Rick and team family are from…. But I’m also intrigued by the fact it does kind of remind me of this image:

This literally looks like a stereotypical image of the swamp living.

See what I mean? That image fits right into some stereotype swampland.

This could be a purposeful nudge to The Scavengers. It might even be talking about The Boat again. That Boat keeps being brought up… Which is interesting, because these were posted after S7 has finished so is it pointing us back to The Boat or The Scavengers? Or maybe both?

Talking about the topics, “The hottest mausoleum trends of the year!” is kind of a strange one for me to pick, right? Well to me it’s kind of strange that they’re matching hottest with a mausoleum. For those that don’t know what a mausoleum is, it’s a free-standing building that that houses tombs(s). Basically, it’s a giant grave above ground. You place a body in a casket – sometimes not even a casket – and place the body in the mausoleum or the tomb inside (which is a large vault that is typically underground and where you bury the dead). Egyptians did this. In fact, the giant pyramids of Egypt where mausoleums/tombs for the Pharaohs and their organs and belongings. The Taj Mahal in Agra is also another huge and famous one.

Now what’s interesting is the mentioning of “hottest” and the emphasis on it. A tomb/mausoleum is generally dry air – that’s why you get that dead, musky smell when you step into some – and they’re even described as damp. But I’ve never heard of a tomb being hot. That’s mostly because a mausoleum and tomb have to stay cool in order for a body to not decompose as fast. If it gets too hot in a tomb then the body can explode. It’s kinda like when you leave leftover meat in a plastic ben for a long time. If you leave it in the cool, it takes longer for the smell and rot to hit because, in the heat, anaerobic bacteria take over quicker. Obviously, cold or not, rot happens. But in the cool, meat – or a body – doesn’t decompose as fast… So being in a hot, sealed tomb would just cause quick decomposition and would leave a decaying smell sooner… Not exactly idea for something you’d want to “share” in your magazine. Fake or not.

So what does this make me think of? Car trunk. TD likes to mention the idea of Beth’s body having been left in a car or a car trunk. It’s plausible and would explain to me why we see Team Family be so damn reluctant to go near the pile-up of vehicles in TWD s05e10 [THEM]

Look at their faces… In fact, if you can, go back and watch this scene and watch their faces, their body language. They DO NOT want to go near those cars. Yes, I’m sure it’s just them being safe because who knows what they’ll find in those cars… But why have Daryl run off like that? Look how upset he looks? He’s not wanting anything to do with that and bolts.

And who do they focus on in the scene? Maggie. Maggie is the main focus. They don’t show anyone else looking through the cars. They don’t show Carl finding the music box or the group looking around. They show Maggie in this car and then they show her panicking when she shuts the walker in the car… Also why have a scene with her freaking out to get back in? That walker didn’t need to be killed. It could’ve just been left in the car. But Maggie NEEDED to get that open. Glenn had to help her. She was so frazzled and frantic that she had to get back to the walker. And then she couldn’t do the stab. It’s Glenn who does it. And we see his face. He’s crestfallen because he sees Beth to… But the fact it’s a walker that looks like Beth, in a car trunk, and Maggie and everyone are not happy to be around these cars, it just doesn’t scream normal to me. Why have her go back and get the walker out? Why put a walker that looks like Beth in a car trunk? Yes Maggie just lost her sister so maybe it’s a nudge to that. But why focus so long on it?

Read (x)

THEM is also the episode the lovely Music Box theory was born from. So there’s that to soak up if you wanna go digging like I am lol.

“How to tell if your husband’s dead on the inside”. Pretty self-explanatory on the fact of “dead inside” is talking about the state of being in a constant state of depression, lack of pleasure from activities that one usually finds enjoyable, your sleep and appetite are disturbed, and a mixture of the feeling of worthlessness, guilt, and hopelessness.

Basically dead inside is a state of not living from the inside out. You’re moving and getting up and doing what you normally do, but you’re not living in the moment and suffering from lack of joy and appetite and good moods/pleasures.

That pretty much describes Daryl Dixon at this point in the show. He’s just up and going. He’s not feeling. He’s not living. He’s just surviving. He gets up, he shoots down people that get in the way with no thought, and he keeps a constant state of hopelessness that anything is worth anything good. That’s Daryl. That can also be contributed to Morgan in a sense. He’s alive but he’s not living. He’s in a state of being like the dead. He does say “we all come back” and “we’re them” (the dead) so that’s a talk on him as well.

“Exclusive! How Helmets can save your life!”… Come on, I’m not even going to go too deep into that. gain, self-explanatory. Helmets saving a life. A helmet goes over your head. Can keep you from getting shot in the head or bashed in the head. Negan and Beth and Glenn and Abraham come to mind when I read that. Negan swings a bat down on people. Beth took a bullet to the head. Abraham and Glenn got bashed in the head. No protection for the head. Negan goes for the head. I mean come on… Also talking about a protective gear from the head is important to note too.

The text under the magazine just sounds like one of those “just because you’re suffering doesn’t mean others have to” and that’s like “there’s still hope for you” kinda thing.

Magazine 3: Better Homes and Gardens Garbage

Magazine Topic

Left Side

Get your junkyard on the up up up!

Super Tall Followers

Confusing Dialect

Gladiator Ring

Right Side

How one community mastered the art of garbage chic.

Under the Magazine

Need to spruce up your survival community? Look no further!

I don’t have as much to say about this magazine. Mostly I’m interested in the fact they focused on The Scavengers. Especially since we haven’t seen a hint of them since we saw them at the end of season 7. I also wanna point out another use of the word “Chic” in a magazine, which we have nudged at being a nudge to “up-to-date” and “up-to-the-minute”. So we will still get the scavengers to return this season (we should since Jadis is still also a threat to things and her rocky alignment with Negan is not something to brush aside and I’m pretty sure Negan still owes Jadis and the Scavengers their cut of the deal).

Also, the talk of a Gladiator Ring could be the trailer spoiler that Rick is going to be captured by the Scavengers – as evident by when we see Jadis’ Scavenger circle and what looks to be Eugene coming to negotiate with her for Negan. Negan does want Maggie, Ezekial, and Rick caught alive.

Gladiator Rings have always been heavily associated with Rome. Gladiators were slaves that were trained in combat and then armed with a sword or some kind of weapon and forced to fight to the death in the arena for entertainment. But gladiators were also people who didn’t just engage in fights for entertainment. They engaged in battle due to controversy or became a part of controversy due to petty kings or disagreements of lords. Eugene…. I’d be careful being sent into the arena, bro. You’re basically a gladiator for Negan, buddy. You are sacrificial like the gladiators were.

Maybe you all see something more with this cover?

Magazine 4: TIME

Negan is burning faces… Even the doctors!

Magazine Topic

Left Side

NEGAN

His tactics are eye-popping

Right Side

Rick’s next move: Can he free his people from the saviors?

How stressed is your doctor? Check up!

Global alcohol reserves running out: Our new apocalypse

Under the Magazine

Keep up with the latest post-apocalyptic news and trends with ease.

Hello… TIME? Isn’t that a big focus for TD? A giant word - a giant TIME - behind Negan? Come on… What?! That had to be a reason

On a funny note, I’m not a fan of TIME magazine or what it likes to post so the fact they put Negan on the cover makes me kinda laugh because of my dislike for TIME… Clever!

Anyway, the thing that also sticks out to me for this is the double mention of doctors - “Negan is burning faces… Even the doctors!” and “How stressed is your doctor? Check up!” - and the mention of bottom part reading “Keep up with the latest post-apocalyptic news and trends with ease.”

Alexandria and Hilltop are without a doctor. Kingdom is okay doctor wise. The Saviors took Dr.  Harlan Carson – the brother of Emmett Carson, the guy whose face Negan burned off, killing him in 7x11 [HOSTILES AND CALAMITIES] in front of Eugene and the Wives and everyone else. This episode focused heavily on the workings of the Sanctuary and on Eugene and his adaption to “be Negan”.

Doctors have been mentioned in 8x1 when Maggie and Jesus talked about how they would be getting their doctor back after Ezekial offered their doctor… It’s interesting how they mention a doctor with the Negan image because in the comic Harlan Carson saves Rick’s life from a stab wound that had infected blood on it… He’s also the one who saves Negan’s life in the comic after Rick tells him to and right after Rick got his leg broken… This is what causes more damage to Rick’s leg and why his limp is consistent afterward.

I’m focusing on wondering if we’re going to be getting a lot of talk with Doctors this season. It’s not like the last few doctors have turned out well these last few seasons. Pete Anderson went nuts and was put down by Rick. Denise was killed by a stray arrow meant for Daryl by Dwight. Emmett Carson had his face burned off after Dwight framed him for Sherry running off / helping her escape… It’s just interesting to have a focus on doctors. Especially if you wanna think that, back at Grady, they could’ve dragged a doctor along with them and at least had people that had some sense of medical 101, right? If you wanna make some TD out of that, it’s possible.

Another thing is the talk of the whole news and trends being easy to keep up with. The only forms of communication that we have is walkie-talkies and radio tower broadcast (as we saw with Terminus and apparently with the Saviors of their giant satellite home. So this speaks to me of the sense of having a reach out network… Which is what Negan has. He has reach. That’s how he was able to cut off Rick and Team Family in Season 6. He has a large reach. A lot of compounds under his name spread out. Which makes me think back to how Morales mentioned he was found by the Saviors after his attempt to get to Birmingham, Alabama failed. It’s still a wonder… Does Negan have reach all the way to the west of the ravished USA? This is another instance of nudging that he does have some kind of far reach network… How far is the mystery here.

Magazine 5: National Geographic

Counting down the Top 20 gladiator rings.

Magazine Topic

Left Side

The evolution of the Walker

Right Side

Under the Magazine

What’s REALLY out there in the wild? Can anything be a zombie? We’ll tell you in NatGeo, a magazine now revolving around cultures and creatures that have been affected by the global virus.

First off, we got another talk about gladiator rings and another reference to the scavengers. So we are definitely not done with them (duh, lol) and they’re probably gonna step up in the second half of the 8A (considering practically all the images for the season eight trailer have come from the first three episodes so far and we have yet to see the scavengers and the scene where Michonne is with Tara or Rick in the storage shed.

Second, the national geographic primarily contains articles about science, geography, history, and world culture. The under the magazine part explains that in the apocalypse, the magazine now focuses on the effect of the zombies on nature and life. Is it possible for a horse to become a zombie? How has nature itself adapted to the decay of human influence on it? What effect does all the rotting corpse have on the land? And how the mocking remains of society – like Grady, Hilltop, Alexandria, Saviors, and Scavengers – are changed by the change of nature and the introduction of the virus and the dead…

This makes me think of the scientific studies Milton and Jenner were doing. It makes me think of Eugene talking about a cure… It gives me Cure theory vibes. How studying the walkers and nature could lead to a cure or at least a stalling solution. A magazine that focuses on science and history – which is used in cure study; the history of the disease and then using science to combat it – is a fascinating thing to give us.

Now, granted, it is strange they’re including the Scavengers walker and nudging at them again… But perhaps something will come of that… I just find it fascinating how I got “cure theory” vibe outta this magazine.

Magazine 6: Rolling Stones

Magazine Topic

Left Side

Beth Greene

Music After Life

Right Side

Grady Memorial Hospital: Officer Dawn Lerner’s Legacy Still Married

Tupac: The Rap Icon’s Shocking Re-Emergence

100 Songs you must hear before you’re eaten

Morales’ secret podcast reviewed

Under the Magazine

The apocalypse doesn’t have to be quiet – fill it with your own soundtrack!

And now for the fascinating one. Every other magazine has included living characters or walkers. Carl, Negan, and Jadis are alive. The other two have been walker zombies. One a female walker in a dress. The other, the spiky walker from metal shop hell.

This time, we got Beth Greene herself.

Another mention of marriage is being talked about -  Grady Memorial Hospital: Officer Dawn Lerner’s Legacy Still Married - Marriage was mentioned in the Cosmopolitan Magazine. I talked about it a bit before, but this time I went digging around to look into marriage at a more blind level; meaning I went in like I didn’t know what a marriage was and what are some things around marriage that I may have never noticed or heard about… Which was actually a bit tricky since all that kept coming up was “how to keep your marriage alive” and “tips for newlyweds” and stuff like that… But hey, why not look at those and see what’s up as well?

I’m not going to go way too long with this, but digging around in the history of marriage I found that “marriage is a truly ancient institution that predates recorded history. But early marriage was seen as a strategic alliance between families, with the youngsters often having no say in the matter. In some cultures, parents even married one child to the spirit of a deceased child in order to strengthen familial bonds…” (x) Rick tried to bond the Grady folks with Team Family after Beth is shot down. But there was no connection for Grady to use to connect them. Noah didn’t know Team Family, he was just along for the ride after Beth helped him out. Maggie and Daryl bonded – sadly – over Beth in the barn after the fight to keep the barn door closed against walkers. An older sister bonding with a younger brother.

That one kind of stuck out to me for the reason of connecting people. Some TDers believe Beth is with The Scavengers or she’s with The Saviors. One group is run by Jadis and the other by Negan. Beth being able to rally either side – even if it’s just a chunk of them – would give TF vast numbers against Negan… Even bringing in Grady residents would add to the numbers and would help with an expansion (like expanding land agreements, another reason marriage happened).

For fun, here are some superstitions that can be Bethyl centered for the shippers (These are for fun more than anything)

The groom carries the bride across the threshold to bravely protect her from evil spirits lurking below. (Moving too slow, Greene)

Ancient Romans studied pig entrails to determine the luckiest time to marry. (Pig Feet)

Breaking Glass - In Italy, many newlyweds smash a vase or glass at their wedding, and they put a lot of muscle into it, too. The tradition says that however many pieces the glassware breaks into will symbolize how many years they’ll be happily married. (There you go, more breaking glass theory shtuff)

Knives - According to folklore, a knife signifies a broken relationship and is bad luck to give as a wedding present. If knives are on your registry, just give the gift giver a penny. That way, it’s considered a purchase. (Maybe Beth shouldn’t have gotten a knife…)

Crossing a monk or nun’s path - A bride who sees a nun or a monk on the way to her wedding is said to be cursed with a barren life dependent on charity. (Fuck, finding Gabriel before was probably a bad sign then? He’s a priest though… Does that count?!)

Ringing Bells - Bells are traditionally chimed at Irish weddings to keep evil spirits away and to ensure a harmonious family life. Some Irish brides even carry small bells in their bouquets as a reminder of their sacred wedding vows, and they are a common gift for newlyweds. (Wasn’t there some belief that they combined the scene of Andrea surviving a Savior attack in a Belltower to the scene of Beth shoving the Grady jackass cop down the elevator shaft? Eh, I forget, but I found this fascinating because my family has Irish blood and isn’t Beth Irish? Also, I was pointed to a singing bowl – a bell – being seen in multiple episodes lately so hmm.)

(Check these out here! Got a lot of links!) (x) (x) (x) (x)

Now that fun nudges aside, the thing that’s interesting is the talk of Dawn. It talks about Dawn’s Legacy still being Married…  When you talk about a legacy, the definition of legacy is “an amount of money or property left to someone in a will”, but often time the thing that comes to mind for legacy is “what is left behind by someone after they die”. Dawn was shot point blank by Daryl in the Grady hospital hallway. So she’s dead… So who is Dawn’s legacy?

Well, a legacy isn’t always someone who is blood. Sometimes a legacy is who you hand over your title too. For Dawn, she was head of the Grady Group. She ran everything, kept a system going… A system of lies and turning the other cheek and using fear and force to run everyone to do as you please. Not exactly a pretty legacy.

Who has this legacy now?

Well at the end, after Beth is shot and Daryl has killed Dawn, it’s Officer Amanda Shepard who makes a call out. She says “No, hold your fire! It’s over… It was just about her… Stand down”. She’s the one who takes the reigns, calls off the bullet flying and tries to explain that all of this was about Dawn’s choice, not theirs. She’s also the one that tells Team Family that they can stay. She offered a hand to them to have a place to stay… Although a bloody hand, seeing as Beth’s blood was spilled on their exchange.

Basically, Dawn left behind Grady to the less crazy and corrupt people. So… She basically left nothing. Maybe a plan or two that’s effective and the people still use, but… Nothing. Why make it about Dawn leaving something behind to someone who is apparently married? Most of these goofy little tabloid-like headlines have had some sense to them, but this one is just strange. Still married? I don’t believe anyone in the Grady hospital was married…  That’s a weird one.

I was mostly more fascinated by the use of marriage, but the fact it’s marriage and around Dawn and Legacy is just… Bizarre.

Moving on!

“Tupac: The Rap Icon’s Shocking Re-Emergence”… Okay, so unless you live in a completely white out world and have never listened to music or watched any musical documentaries or heard a single song, then you knoowww the story of Tupac Amura Shakur AKA 2Pac. He was a famous American actor and Rapper who was gunned down in Vegas in front of the Maxim Hotel in 1996. With him was Suge Knight, a record producer, music executive, and former football replacement player for the LA Rams. 2Pac was hit four times – twice in the chest, once in the arm, and once in the thigh – while Knight was hit in the head by bullet shrapnel. Tupac eventually died six days later in the hospital due to hemorrhaging – internal bleeding – and respiratory failure and cardiopulmonary arrest in connection with his multiple gunshot wounds.

As for Suge Knight, he was accused by an ex-detective Russell Poole of having been the one to get 2Pac killed before he could leave Knight’s label and that he helped conspire to get Biggie Smalls killed. Fellow rap artist Snoop Dogg later accused knight as well, though many discredit Snoop for his heavy working with marijuana and no evidence. Along with Knight, a rogue cop, a mortgage broker (Amir Muhammad), the chief of police, and the LAPD as a whole were also pointed at as being part of the accusation of causing 2Pac’s and Biggie’s death.

If you wanna know more about it there are a TON of documentaries and even some pretty awesome biographical films to look into.

Since his death, 2Pac has been raised to the level of Martyr - a person who is killed because of their religious or other beliefs – and in a sense, Beth kinda is that. She was gunned down for her belief against Dawn. Dawn used and hurt Beth and manipulated her for her own gain. And when Dawn demanded Noah back, she went at her. She was gunned down in her attempt – a very strange and bad attempt – to take Dawn down. And to some watchers – TD or otherwise – she has become that symbol of sacrificial lamb.

The thing about them using 2Pac that really fascinated me is that there is a conspiracy theory that 2Pac is still alive. These theories range from the belief that Surge orchestrated Tupac’s death to “he faked his own death”, “he’s hiding in Cuba”, and “he’s being harbored by the government as a witness”.

There are an amazing amount of people who STILL BELIEVE that 2Pac is alive. That he’s being hidden or that he’s tucked himself away to Cuba or that the CIA has him in some kind of hidden prison. The conspiracy theories around 2Pac are on the same level of out there as the Team Defiance/Delusional have going on. What’s interesting about that as well? Beth Greene sings and T2Pac sings, Beth was shot and Pac was shot, 2Pac died in a hospital and Beth seems to have died in a hospital, and there are still speculations on who shot Pac and also on who shot Beth. On Sep 30th, 2016 Emily was featured in the Rolling Stones website two years after her death on the show and 2Pac was featured on Rolling Stones front page a month and seventeen days after his death (not that it means anything, I just found that interesting myself).

There’s been this speculation that 2Pac was going to reemerge and many extreme theorist and fans still believe he’s coming back, which is also something extreme fans and theorist have believed with Beth three years later. It stands at attention that placing this iconic rapper’s name on Beth’s image and talking about his re-emergence – something that is a theory still held strong by a lot of people next to the moon landing being fake – is eye-catching if you take in the story behind 2Pac and the story behind Beth. They’re pretty similar in ways I would’ve never thought of if I hadn’t seen them placed together –  a singer, a gun, an unsolved murder, a supposed friend being framed for the murder, the belief of a return, and a martyr belief left behind – and it seems to similar to be more than a coincidence…

“Morales’ secret podcast reviewed” makes soooo much sense now! When Skybound posted this, S8 hadn’t even posted out the trailer. We didn’t have many clues to who was going to be on the show again… Morales was a secret on the show. The hinting of Morales in these magazines HAD to be purposefully planned out UNLESS it was just a really huge coincidence and even then, holy fuck that’s a big one because of the fact that Morales was a character THAT RICK HAD TO RE-EXPLAIN IN HIS DIALOGUE for people to recall who the fuck he was and placing him in this fake Magazine article THAT PEOPLE ARE GOING TO SEE is putting in the belief that the audience is going to know who the fuck they’re talking about. Now I personally did because I remember a lot of random shit about the show, but the majority of the viewers were like “Who the fuck is Morales” when he showed up or if they read this, I’m sure.

Morales was meant to be a nudge to the past. A nudge to Rick and Daryl’s past. Morales was a connection to Atlanta and a proof that the past can come back in startling ways. It certainly is startling for someone like Morales – a simple background character – to be shown still alive and still surviving and having made it out of Georgia to Virginia WHEN HE WAS LAST HEADING FOR ALABAMA. The magazine was a big clue. Morales was a secret to be revealed… Which is very interesting for the rest of the magazine.

Now let’s talk about the big one – the wording on Beth. “Beth Greene Music After Life.” The picture they used of Emily – I must say – is bizarre. They made Beth’s eyes SUPER blue. Like that’s what stands out the most in the photo; the big, electric-like, blue eyes. Kind of like this shot:

All the focus on the eyes. The only other person they do this much eye focus on is Rick. Otherwise they do close up of the face, but still give us the nose and mouth in the shot. This magazine cover made us focus on Beth’s eyes, which they didn’t do for Negan. With Negan we focus on the word TIME and the blurred Lucille bat; like the bat is being held in our face and becoming out of focus for us. And Negan’s eyes aren’t intensified… In fact, his image is pretty simple and dulled by all the black he wears and the black background.

Beth’s background is bright white and her eyes are bright blue and she’s covered in dirt like she needs a bath or went rolling in a dirt pile… Or a grave hole. That’s where my thoughts went when I saw her state of appearance. Beth was pretty clean looking the last time we saw her alive; Dawn and her OCD for clean and neat the reason for that. Now she’s about as dirty as she was in S3 and S4.

The wording of Beth Greene Music After Life is definitely meant to be a play on the whole “dead come back to life” thing… But Beth isn’t a walker. If Beth hadn’t been shot in the head and had been shown reanimating to life before they had to put her down or something, then yeah I’d get that wording… But Beth wasn’t a walker. She’d taken a bullet to the head… So why use that wordplay towards her?

Another thing is that including THAT KIND of title next to the 2Pac thing is like a double saying of “After life and reemerge, pay attention!” And having it also be connected to Morales’ secret podcast – the word SECRET – is also like some kind of sign from the show again.

With all this, I could probably dig down deeper into this magazine cover but I know for a fact that many others have done way more metas on this thing than I have. But maybe if you combine my stuff with their stuff you’ll see something that was missed.

I probably just repeated a whole bunch of shit you all have been hearing since TD started three years ago, but I didn’t go into this with any clear thought. It was more an “oh what does this make me think of” kind of mentality.

It was pretty fun, honestly. I still don’t know whether to believe she’s coming back or not. I can see it play out either way… But these kinds of things flying around make me see WHY TD exists and why you all think like you do.

If you wanna check out the magazines, you can see them here (x) Thanks, Skybound, for that headache!

[praphit]

Jigsaw: Points for BS

It has been an interesting year of movies. We've had a lot of superhero flicks, action, and horror, but not a whole lot of Oscar worthy dramas. Normally, they're scattered throughout the year and then we get bombarded for three to four months at the end, but here we are at the end of October, and nothing. Plus, they've still gotta cram in some "black movies" to keep the trolls away from the Oscars. Right now, all we've got is "Tyler Perry's Boo 2! A Madea Halloween"

- speaking as a black man, I'm hoping we can do better than that.

But, finally we get our kickoff to Oscar season! SAW, baby! Oh, excuse me, I mean, "JIGSAW".

He's not just about cutting off limbs; he's got depth to him. He's a tortured soul! He's a mystery! And he certainly is a mystery, because I don't know what the hell he has been doing over the last several years. I loved the first movie. I was cool with the second movie (even though it was ridiculous). But, after that... a stream of bullshit. Five more movies! FIVE more dumbass movies. I rolled with him in the beginning, because he was original and I believed in his cause. He was just piecing together items he found in a junk yard and fighting a lil crime; bring a lil justice to this world! - Lord knows we need it! He even convinced a drug dealer or two to join him; giving them purpose... the man was kinda like Batman... an elderly, non-athletic... cancer riddled Batman... or maybe more like the Punisher.

I don't know what happened though. Idk whether he went Hollywood (being all about the money), but his cause changed.

He was like "You're a killer, you deserve to die horribly." I was like "Yeah, I can get behind that!"

"You're a serial rapist, you deserve to die horribly." I'd be like "Hot damn! Let's do this!"

But, then he changed up to stuff like... you stole music online (you deserve to die), you don't call mom enough (you deserve to die), you didn't vote (you deserve to die), you let your 16 year old daughter walk out the house in spaghetti straps and way too much make up, you're a horrible parent (Imma split you in two). I was like "Wait, a dag gon second there, Jiggy! I can't do this no more!" Plus, he has the nerve to be self-righteous at the end of these films. Talking about how he never killed anyone and how all of these people need to confess. What??! he became a Hollywood hypocrite - making bad movies with worse messages and stealing our money.

But, maybe this movie... the Jigster will get back to form. It's redemption time!

Let's play a game:

It's called "Good horror vs Bullshit" We'll look at this film, and celebrate the parts that were like the good movies (SAW 1 and SAW 2), and we'll rip apart the BS in this movie, like seen in the other five movies.

1) Plot

I mean... it's the same ol stuff - a handful of unfortunate dopes get drugged, and wake up next to one another as strangers, and are probably about to die horribly. That gimmick doesn't really need to change, but change ANYTHING! This is the eighth movie! - let's change it up in the bedroom a lil bit. Let's change some roles, let's get a lil freaky! Some new music, new scenes for torture, new game rules, add some humor, at least change the production. All of these movies have that same "straight to video" look to them. Be a little bit more playful, Jigsaw! Don't just keep tossing me violently on the bed every Halloween and doing your thing! Call me high maintenance, but I need some more entertainment than that.

　

Point for bullshit!

　

2) Acting

They kicked it all off with Danny Glover and Princess Bride Guy. Now look at us! A bunch of no named, lacking in talent victims. Some might say, "Most horror films don't have major actors." True, but they all have types we can relate to: the jock, the no nonsense person, the nice girl, the black dude surrounded by white people. In these movies, the characters are reduced to crimes they've committed... really we're judging these people off of one awful crime; no one is that one dimensional.

I think it would be a fun idea to always include D List celebs. Those actors that are on the way out. Imagine this magical cast:

Carrot Top

 Kirk Cameron

Lindsay Lohan

Ah! That's not L.L. Sorry. I typed her name in and that thing popped up. Weird. My bad.

Aaaaah, there she is. A lovely woman.

Arsenio Hall

and Judge Judy!

YES!

But, no... y'all would rather stick to the lack luster grim.

Point for bullshit!

　

3) The traps

They're elaborate in this movie for sure, but nothing really stands out from the other sequels. Same ol same ol. There IS some good meat grinding action though (powered by a motorcycle).

It's such a waste of the Jigster's talent! He should be using his genius for NASA or something. Or maybe be a detective! He's able to track down perps whom the cops and FBI have long forgotten about. There are a lot of people i'd like to see tracked down and brought to justice.

Or imagine Jigsaw as a pastor. I'd bet you any amount of money he'll run a repentant church.

And all the money for these traps... he's got frickin lasers in this movie! Bear trap lasers! I don't know how much all of these traps cost, but it ain't cheap! The Jigster is loaded! Think of all of the money he could be donating to cancer research. Just a waste! I'll give it some positive points for the horror generated by some of these traps though. You'll def get squeamish.... though there are other traps that are simply lazy. One trap, he just tosses two people in a hole, throws some sand on them, and then chucks some sharp objects down there. How you gonna go from lasers and motorcycle meat grinders to throwing sharp objects down a hole?!

Points for both GOOD HORROR and BULLSHIT

　

4) The twist

There's always a twist at the end... along with the theme music that builds up, and some person slamming a door on someone. The twist DOES work, but it's also incredibly stupid.

I won't spoil anything, but it makes zero sense. You know dag gon on well that in real life, Jigsaw wouldn't have gotten to eight movies. He would have been caught after death number one. Just look for the guy buying an excessive amount of bear traps and saws. Or in this movies' case, the guy who stole a bunch of medical lasers. Seriously though! LASERS?!

Plus, the traps in this movie depend on the victims being in the exact spot required at the exact time. Some of the recorded tapes that the trapped ones play have instructions specific for certain members. How would he know??! Some of them break his rules (and pay dearly for it), but thinking back... had they not broken his rules, the game couldn't have progressed!

Point for bullshit and good... yet dumb horror twist!

　

That's bullshit 4 Good Horror 2

BULLSHIT WINS!

　

Some might say, "John, you're expecting too much." Maybe... but that'd be only because this movie takes itself too seriously. There's a cop in the beginning of the movie who when he hears the plot of the movie he says "That's impossible!" They're looking for a dead elderly guy who has had cancer (untreated) for like 10 years.... and his merry band of junkies and hobos. Ya dag gon right that's impossible! Entertaining in parts, cool traps in parts, but overall bad and impossible!

Grade: D+

　

Wow, I have had a bad stretch of violent/stupid/confusing movies: "mother!", "Happy Death Day", "The Snowman", and now this bullshit (i guess I only have myself to blame).

I'm hoping in Thor next weekend for a change of pace and a cleansing of soul.

Granted, there is plenty of murder and mayhem involved in Marvel movies as well, but they make it fun, which is something the Jigster knows nothing about. I swear, if Thor 3 turns out to be another dull, "artsy" murder mystery I'm quitting movies for books.

*deep sigh* Don't make me read!

[dachi-chan25]

Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 6 Recap Pt. 1

Oh boy… I need to vent again, I’m sorry, but thanks to everyone reading this, it’s a cathartic experience if anything.

WARNINGS: SPOILERS; Not a D@€ny fan, but if you follow me you already know that and if you don’t no problem that’s why I always warn you about it; Jonsa shipper and still growing strong ( I always loved the Tyrell OK???)

Before diving into the recap:

1.- The toughts, tinfoily wishy washy stuff, analysis, random stuff that I write are my own only, and in no form or way am I trying to convince you that I am right and every body else is wrong, I have been wrong about fandom stuff a LOT, and really it’s just fun for me to do this, anyway I am open to debate if you want just be respectful. Feel free to correct me if you notice I have some facts I present wrong, I will never get mad about it and will even thank you for your insight.

2.- The analysis/opinions I express of certain ships/characters are just my opinion as an audience, if you like the ship/characters good! That’s what makes the fandom experience such a diverse thing, and I have nothing against you. Keep on loving the thing you love!

3.- The Salt Throne and I are one entity of pure undiluted Salt and bitterness,if you don’t wish to subject yourself to reading my salty fangirl rants I completely understand.

—————

1.- We start on that table-map, helI feel I condemned myself saying I didn’t wanted no more close-ups of the thing, anyway so it’s just a pretty shot to get to where the story (plot? What plot?) really pick’s up: Eastwatch by the sea.

We are with the suicide squad on this show’s dumbest mission, but then again this season a lot of dumb things happened so I am resigned. Yeah so Jon and Tormund are talking about how dumb this mission is (got is breaking the fourth wall now???) while Gendry is freezing, Tormund is happy to be back North of the Wall cuz the air in the south is shit, Jon is like bih you never went south but really is agreeing actually Jon seems much more himself now that he is in the North again. Tormund and Jon tease Gendry about making do with him cuz there are no ladies here (ahaha joking about experiencing homosexual sex but no homo bro it’s just because we have no ladies amirite? Am I watching got or the big b4ng th€or¥?) and you know what else they don’t have?? Horses, and food, and those pesky dragonglass weapons, and a raven to send for help should anything happen… But no ladies are the priority. (*sigh* this show is so painfully obviously written by man) Gendry apparently believes them and goes away, Tormund comments he isn’t very bright, he needn’t be says Jon cuz they need the brawn and not the brains right? No this stupid ass mission could have seriously used some brains.

Anyway this next convo of conversations was very intresting to hear, not because they add anything to the plot (if such a thing exists anymore in this show) but I think they are important in understanding the theme they have in common and the relevance I think they have in the final scenes of the episode.

First we have a Tormund/Jon convo, our funny redhead asks about the Dragon Queen, and I expected they would use this chance to make some crude remark about her beauty or her body (dude not a second ago they were joking about bedding Gendry!!) but no, the conversation never goes in the direction that could further the idea of Jon’s attraction to D, Jon trusts Tormund and it would be normal for bros to discuss this stuff (remember how Jon giggled about Tormund mentioning Brienne last episode), instead a very weary and frustrated Jon states she (D) wouldn’t help unless he bends the knee, Tormund says that won’t happen cuz Jon spent so much time with the Wildings to be a kneeler again, but then he moves on to talk about Mance Ryder (dude this Jon/Mance parallels are hitting me in the face like a cold fish, I know D&D I noticed! You haven’t been subtle about this!!! You used the same FUCKING dialogue) and how the dude could have saved a lot of lives if he just had let go of his pride and knelt (so Tormund is our Jon in this parallel ain’t he?) it just made me laugh that Tormund, a wildling cuz they are still Free Folk and rule themselves even if they have an alliance with the KitN, is the one to suggests kneeling, but then I realized how big of a fucken deal that is, Mance could have saved those lives yes (and that’s mere speculation honestly cuz Stannis and his army could have also died at Hardhome #just saying) but he decided keeping his people’s will was more important, Jon respected that to the point he defyied Stannis (they needed his help and dude had just saved them) openly by killing Mance, and now Tormund who is kind of the new Free Folk king/leader is saying it would have been OK if he knelt to save everyone’s lives in front of Jon whom is in a very similar situation.

Then we get a Jorah/Jon convo, again perfect oportunity to show them as D’s love interests and rivals, or for Jorah to wax poetic about Khaliiisi and Jon being jealous or some shit. Some serious talk, if we had time in this compact season for Jon to threaten (or pardon) every man who ever crossed paths with Sansa, why Gendry or the Hound haven’t mentioned Arya at all, if logic states that she is someone this people have in common and should talk about? (like Theon asking about Sansa, or Tyrion) Why Jorah doesn’t talk about D if Jon is her new love interest and it would be a nice and neat contrast between the two of them? Instead they disscus another people they have in common, ex-Lord Commander Jeor Mormont and Ned Stark, oh yes they talk about their dads, Jon says how wonderful was Jorah’s dad and how awful was his death, while Jorah said it must have been heartbreaking for his dad whose entire life was the NW and Jon talks about Ned “the goodest most honorable man ever” dying like a traitor for his honor and pride (like I sense a pattern, can you tell? Gods D&D are too subtle guys) and goes as far as to say he is glad his dad didn’t kill Jorah (you know making him pay for his crime in a just honorable way). Honestly what was the point of this conversation if not that survival is most important than honor? The writers (through Jon) are celebrating that Jorah survived even if he has done sketchy awful things (among them he conspired to have D and her baby killed so he would be allowed to go back to Westeros).

Right we get an intresting end to this convo, Jon offers Jorah Longclaw (why would he give him the sword if he is gonna need it right now in the stupid ass Wight hunt? Why didn’t he gave it to Lady Lyanna Mormont, she has presumably begun training cuz she said to Lord Glover she wasn’t gonna sit by the fire while the man defended the North??? Why would he give it to someone if Jeor gave it to him cuz he didn’t wanted Jorah to have it???) but the point of the conversation it’s not the sword, because Jorah rejects it, it’s about planting the possibility of children in Jon’s future. people have been screaming Targ baby to the heavens and back, and if that is what you chose to belive alright, but I think not, if that was the case wouldn’t it be appropiate to have the Targ theme or the J/D song in the background and transition to DS where D talks about children with Tyrion like she does in a future scene? I would have believed it then. But instead we have the Stark theme and the scene transitioning to Arya and SANSA, call me delusional if you want but for me this is another check in the ‘targcest is building up tarbowl’ column.

Summarizing this we get the very bright neón message of Honor=Death. Which I’ll bring back later.

2.- Y'all remember those good times when the WF storyline was the only thing getting me through all the bullshit I was being fed by D&D? Well they’re over. As I said in point 1 we get a transition of Arya and Sansa looking down at the courtyard while Arya talks about how Ned watched the boys training and tries to diminish Sansa’s connection to her family by stating she was surely too busy sewing to know that (have fun freezing your limbs off darling!!! Sewing and Knitting and all those “delicate female” activities you sniff at are the reason you have clothes miss, really I can’t with this where is the Arya that thought woman to be of equal importance than man?) Sansa is having none of that and says she remembers, we get a cute memory of Arya practicing archery in secret and Ned approving (we get again nods to the patriarchy is wrong! But this is sloppy as fuck if D&D make Arya feel superior to non-warrior inclined girls, like that is also misogynistic) Sansa is smiling fondly (she at this point is more of a feminist icon than any other girl in this show, make no mistake she is not upset or resentful of warrior girls, she approved with a smile when Lyanna said girls on Bear Island were going to be trained too, and she smiles at the memory Arya is sharing with her of defying the rules and practicing archery cuz that made her happy) but then things take a turn for worse when Arya said that Ned is dead cuz Sansa helped the Lannisters. I never asked for this bullshit!!! Not even Ned blamed Sansa for anything, even if Sansa hadn’t alerted her Cersei was gonna kill Robert to protect herself and her children, Ned died for Joffrey’s cruelty (he wasn’t even supposed to die, he was to be sent to the Wall) and yes Sansa had a role to play in the chain of events that led to that, but Sansa had no way of knowing that, she only tried to save her family! The smile gets wiped from my girl’s face she is completely at loss. Arya takes out the letter and starts reading it out, even when Sansa asks her to stop cuz she already knows what does the letter say (wow I can’t belive D&D keep on triggering Sansa through her siblings, FUCKING disgusting) Arya is being unnecessary cruel, blaming Sansa for being powerless to stop their father’s death when she herself was equally powerless, like????? D&D are pushing this Starkbowl bs cuz this is got and nothing can be nice for 2 sec. But really this shit has no basis, you have Wight Hunt Team people who have literally killed each other or tried to working together and joking and then have two sisters who went through hell and back fighting cuz one of them thinks the other survived KL by being a princess in a tower??? Like how is this logical? Even if this is a cleverly crafted Arya plot (I think there is some logic to this) to kill LF is not fair for Sansa, god can’t she have good things on her life? D&D took away the safety of her home by marrying her off to Ramsey and have him rape her in her HOME, and now they make her family treat her one like a stranger and the other like shit???? I’m not asking for Arya to thank Sansa on her knees like she suggested (if anything Sansa was super brave standing her ground and defending her possition and everything she did to retake their home) I don’t want everyone to worship her as they do certain someone all I am asking for is respect and safety for someone who deserves it! Really and Arya suggesting Lyanna Mormont would go for Sansa’s throat why yes she is a child, one that has lost a lot with all this fucking wars but still a child that lacks the knowledge of the true game of thrones and what it takes to survive it, like you Arya (doesn’t she remembers she was cupbearer to Tywin who literally was responsible for the murder of her brother and mother? This is actually what leads me to think this is a ploy cuz Arya is not a hypocrite as far as we’ve seen) still this was painful to watch if you love the Starks.

Anyway leaving my frustration with this cheap drama aside, did anyone notice the parallels between the Arya and Sansa confrontation and the Jon/Tormund and Jon/Jorah conversations? The Wight Hunt Team was talking about great honorable man whose honor and moral code brought their downfall and in the Sansa and Arya, the youngest sister was blaming the eldest for having no honor and surviving (she goes as far as to say she would have rather died than betray her family) while Sansa defends what she did and shows how far she has come from paying the game.

Again this thing is not subtle at all.

———

This is too long so Part 2 is coming!