#yes this is more or less the same as my original 'new idea!' post

[3hks]

How to Get Better at Writing Without Actually Writing

Are you looking to improve your writing without needing to write? I'll admit, I am definitely that kind of person--I have the hardest time even finding something interesting to write--despite that, I have noticed that my writing has vastly improved over the past year or two when it was hardly a hobby, and here's how I did it!

ANALYZE DIFFERENT WORKS

Yes yes, everyone tells you to READ, READ, and READ, even I will agree. However, unlike what some people tell you, you don't actually have to read all those classics like Heart of Darkness or The Hobbit. Of course, those books are very beneficial, but if you find no interest in those types of books (like me), then don't read them!

If you prefer reading casual stories posted by online authors, whether it be a fanfiction or their own, original story, it still qualifies as reading! As long as you are able to find a work that you particularly enjoy, that's all you need!

When reading, the key to improving at writing is to always study the story. Take a moment to look at certain words or phrases that stick out to you. How does the author use them? What do they mean? Keep track of the characters' development and how it affects them. Additionally, note things like powerful scenes, dialogue, and more to have an idea of how you can create something just as impactful. For example, if a text made you cry, think about how and why you reacted like that. This can actually help you re-create events that hold the same effectiveness, if not more!

To add on, if you really dislike reading just that much, then you can always analyze things like shows, movies, etc. However, this will prove to be less efficient because you often don't get access to the text behind the shows. Still, it's a good way to study the plot, characters, character developments, dialogue, and relationships!

2. PROOFREADING

No, I'm not saying that you should be an editor; this actually ties back to my first tip. Remember how I said that if you don't want to read classics, then don't? Well, this is because forcing yourself to read them is completely unnecessary (unless you like them or want to write like the author, of course). As a matter of fact, reading poorly written stories can be very helpful for improvement!

When we read books or novels that have obvious grammar errors, repetitive words, and choppy sentences, we will realize these mistakes and point them out to ourselves. Being able to scout out faults means that we are able to learn from them and grow! Noticing these things will also help prevent you from making the same or similar mistakes!

3. STUDY TIPS ONLINE

I used to go search up websites on Google whenever I wanted help with a certain topic. Of course, not all of the sites are reliable and/or helpful, but some point out good ideas that a couple of us just need! This can be especially useful regarding the things that we are unfamiliar with when writing. They can offer a base foundation and tips on how to start and finish!

They can also serve as a great inspiration for fresh ideas and new perspectives!

Yes, these three tips are pretty simple; however, I have found that they work very well for me! People vary from person-to-person, so it can't be guaranteed the same effect, but this is the best I got! HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! <3

Happy writing~

3hks :)

[ratcandy]

Big Huge Irritated Rant About The Latest COTL Update's Story Choices and the Implications

So the lore drop in the new Cult of the Lamb update, Unholy Alliance, pisses me off. The writer's confirmation of what that lore drop means pisses me off more.

Why? Because it's unnecessary recontextualization that was made pretty obviously in favor in one character in particular, and somehow in that process makes that very same character way less interesting. I think it's incredibly detrimental to the story and I will Explain Why in a second.

But before I do, I just want to put this out there: Prior to this update, my opinions on the Bishops and Narinder and that entire plotline were pretty neutral. I'm an NPC enjoyer, I spend my time thinking about that moth with two lines of dialogue. I did not previously have strong opinions on Narinder or Shamura outside of mild dislike for fandom treatment. So I'm not coming from a place of bias here (or at the very least I'm not trying to be). I genuinely, wholeheartedly, 100% believe this writing decision was unnecessary and the Wrong one to make, and I think it severely undercuts the original plotline because this was a retcon and one that sucks pretty bad.

Ok we're on the same page here? Ok awesome. Long rant ahead, and obvs spoilers for the Unholy Alliance update

So first, what the hell am I talking about? What part of the update do I not like? Let's clarify that first.

It's Shamura's dialogue. Like, all of it. For ease of understanding, here is all the dialogue I will be talking about:

"Ah... we gathered here, the four of us, a council of war and I the general. I have not forgot. I did not tell them that chains to bind a God must be forged of Godly matters. What matter of Gods? What matters of Gods? I have not forgot. The betrayal of kin, the breaking of spirits, blood spilled, his and ours. ...the sacrifice of what we had sacrificed so much for... ...shaped into shackles for our own brother. And our wounds always to weep. Such sharp claws..."

--

"He sought to break nature's own laws. Death was his, yet he placed his sacred duty in peril. His experiments... Experiments I encouraged. I am not... blameless. My soul, stained... yet I do not... Ah, The story. Yes the story... He wanted to open the doors between Life and Death, to... to allow their return. Those mere... mortals. Even though he knew their sacrifices, their faith, their fears sustain us. Death must be the end. Otherwise, what use would they have for Gods? They began to flock to him. What he promised, we could not match. He swelled with devotion... while we waned. Would he have let us perish? I could not take... the risk... the hunger... You are lucky there are none left to force such a choice on you. Hail, Lamb. Last God... lonely God... Ah... I feel... unburdened..."

And for fun, before anyone tells me I'm misinterpreting any of this or that it's left up to interpretation or is intentionally vague, Word of God (the writer of CoTL):

And it's this being Word of God that's spurred me into making this post to begin with. Because prior to this, I just seethed about this dialogue's implications in my server and hoped I was wrong. But now it's been confirmed what this means, and I'm . Disgruntled, to say the least!

And since I've started writing this post, there's been another addition made to further clarify parts of this. But I'm going to go over that addition more towards the end, because it also irritates me for separate reasons.

So, let's get this straight.

Prior to this update, the specifics of what happens between Narinder and the Bishops were pretty vague. We were told Narinder was "gluttonous in his ambition," per Shamura's previous dialogue, and that they "introduced him to ideas of change" but "Death cannot flow backward." Heket somewhat elaborates on this by saying he preached "heresy" and "noxious ideals" that would not be tolerated. Heket also notably refers to Narinder as a flat-out "monster." Narinder attacked his siblings and left them each with a big, symbolic wound. Then he was chained by the four of them, with Shamura the one to lead it (in their own words).

There's a lot of talk of betrayal, but before this update, it was unclear if the betrayal was meant to just be Narinder's experimenting with death (which even then was pretty heavily suggested to be resurrections) or the wounds inflicted upon his siblings. There's also a lot of talk of sacrifice, i.e. from Leshy if you kill Heket before him: "After everything we did. After everything we sacrificed. He will not be satiated."

Regardless, the picture this painted was of Narinder being this ambitious, evil, violent God that even his fellow Gods (Kallamar) feared and felt needed controlling. The idea that the wounds could have been in the nail in the coffin to this entire ordeal made sense; as they were obviously planned by Narinder to some extent (otherwise why be so intentional about who got what wound?) and a fair reaction to Being Mutilated would of course be to chain him.

Then of course there's the idea that the wounds were given while he was being chained and in self-defense, which only seems possible if you think Narinder could take on all four of his siblings at once like that and only manage to lose his claws in the ordeal (which was only revealed in this update to be something he's implied to have lost thru the relic). I thought this at first too, but realized it seems pretty impractical for that to have been the case if the wounds were also purposeful in who got what. I mean, sure, they could all be coincidentally symbolically appropriate for each Bishop, but I have doouuubts?

but now we're here, with this update, and all has been revealed.

And what's been revealed exactly?

Narinder's thing he was doing was indeed resurrections (we knew that)

Shamura encouraged him to do it (we also already knew this)

It seems like he did literally nothing else outside of that

His siblings got pissy about this because it made their domains purposeless and got all their followers to flock to him

"Would he let us perish? I could not take the risk" - Implies they literally did not even ask him

Shamura knew that in order to forge chains that could keep Narinder down, it would require a sacrifice of their bonds AND their flesh

They DID NOT tell the other Bishops this

Their wounds were requirements to chain him. They had to get the wounds they bear now in order to chain him. ONLY Shamura knew this. That means they allowed their siblings (and themself) to get attacked knowing full well what would happen. They may have even encouraged it, perhaps provoked Narinder into it, seeing as they knew the wounds were necessary to have him chained. (Or they just knew he would retaliate. Which, like. Yeah. They're condemning him after he went down a path they encouraged and, as far as we can tell, nothing else.)

And for... what?

In this version of the story, Narinder was experimenting with resurrections, and Shamura told him to keep doing that. Then he was successful, mortals turned to him, and his siblings (including Shamura, the one who told him to do it) got mad. That's it. That's their reasoning for chaining him. There's nothing else given. "Would they perish?" We have no idea. Is that how it works? Seems like Shamura doesn't know either. Or at the very least doesn't know if Narinder intended for that at all. Gives the vibe that literally no effort was made to talk to him and figure this out. They don't even really go down the "it puts nature out of balance!" path, which would at least have some merit, maybe. It's literally just "we are no longer sustained. What's the point of Gods in this world?" <- idk babe you had all the other ones slaughtered. So you tell me

And then Shamura just took it into their own hands, leading their siblings to their shared wounds (WITHOUT consulting them) and their inevitable destruction because of........... reasons, I guess. (I mean, if you think about it really hard, they probably also already knew what would happen following all this. With the lamb genocide and Narinder's resurfacing and etc. And they had their siblings wounded anyway. For no god damn reason)

And now why does this make me mad?

Because, honestly, in and of itself, there's not anything necessarily wrong with this added context. It's not contradicting anything in the main game. Shamura knowing what was needed makes sense, after all.

But it's... unnecessary. It screws up the motives and makes them more shallow, less nuanced, more... petty. Making gods petty is cool and all, I love doing that honestly, but in this case it just feels like a waste of potential.

But beyond all that. But most importantly.

This entire recontextualization of events REEKS of being made specifically to absolve Narinder.

I mean, come on. He's made out to be the victim, here. Shamura knew what he would do, knew what he would become, and knew exactly what would happen to their siblings if they sought to chain him (without doing so much as talking to him beforehand), and yet they encouraged it.

All blame is being shifted on Shamura. All Narinder did specifically against his siblings was inflict the wounds, which at this point seems to be hinted as self defense or a retaliation against threat or insult (assuming he was provoked into attacking, somehow). Because the wounds were part of the process.

And almost equally irritating, this seeks to arbitrarily absolve Leshy, Kallamar, and Heket as well, as they had no idea what the plan was and were just strung along. Which is just kinda worse, right? As far as they are aware, Narinder did just randomly attack them for no reason, and this wasn't foreseen, and surely couldn't have been stopped. All because Shamura didn't tell them any of it.

Shamura is being made into the big bad. Shamura is at fault for everything, for all of it. Narinder is a victim of Shamura encouraging him down a path they later condemn him for, their siblings are victims of Shamura and Narinder both (the latter of which could have been resolved at any point prior), and now any possible intrigue about Narinder being this big bad guy who tore apart his siblings due to his own ambition getting the best of him is ERASED.

It's GONE. All in favor of making him more sympathetic.

And sure, about a million different excuses could be made for Shamura, or could be used to headcanon whatever you want about exactly what happened. But with what we're given right now, just from the source, no attempt as made to stop Narinder before it got to this point. It is literally suggested they didn't even talk to him.

"Maybe they were too scared" - For the other three, maybe. Shamura is the eldest and clearly the most respected one, by Narinder as well (he holds some amount of respect for them even STILL. After EVERYTHING). They at any point could have stopped this.

"Narinder could still have been a bad guy outside of the attacks" - Sure, but we're given little to nothing on that front. In the old dialogue, literally all that's mentioned is the resurrection stuff and the wounds. Shamura is the one who said his ambition made a glutton of him, by the way. And hell, this isn't even touching the very real possibility that all of the Bishops (Narinder included!) are unreliable as hell.

"But Kallamar feared him even before his chaining, that suggests he was still a bad guy beforehand" - Sure, it could! But that's about all we get! And hell, in this new update, Kallamar's fears are fucked with, too. He states:

"Once, long ago, Followers would worship at my altar just to glimpse the beauty of my temple… of course, it could not last forever. Perhaps my siblings did not understand this, but I have always known. It did not make me less afraid. Cowardly Kallamar, ha…"

Here, it seems Kallamar's fears have been changed to be more about the decline of his temple and the loss of his followers, which was happening because of Narinder. He refers to Narinder's plans as "foolish" as opposed to... idk, horrifying, or threatening, or whatever. He also fully takes on the 'cowardly' title, giving the impression that his fears were somehow unfounded, which wouldn't make a lick of sense if Narinder indeed sucked ass outside of the wounds.

Not to mention he "didn't want to hear it" when Shamura "revealed the plan," but we know because of Shamura that they didn't mention anything about the wounds, so Kallamar didn't want to hear that they... had to chain Narinder? That's literally all he could've been told about the plan. Why wouldn't he want to chain Narinder if he was scared of him up until that point?? Doesn't make any sense!!! EDIT AFTER I POSTED: On reconsideration this might just be referring the lamb genocide plan, but that's hardly better, because now this update absolves Narinder, Leshy, AND Kallamar by making them blameless in everything (both Leshy and Kallamar expressed not fully understanding the plan for the slaughter or, in this case, not wanting part in it). What's up with THAT. Why is Shamura getting the blame for LITERALLY EVERYTHING.

Anyway, my point is

This was a story decision made to make Narinder sympathetic. It's so blatant. And it's so, so irritating. It gets rid of so many potential cool flaws of Narinder and replaces it with "Actually, Shamura was the bad guy the whole time! Huzzah!"

And honestly, had the entire game come out like this to begin with, released at the start how it is right now, I don't think I'd care this much. But being added now, as an afterthought, after the fandom and devs alike have grown to favor Narinder above all others, it just...

It reeks of favoritism. It smells of revising the story to make Narinder more likeable. It's just erasure.

And for what. Like, I don't want to be That Guy, but I cannot help but notice that one of two nonbinary characters (outside of the Lamb/Goat themselves) is being this heavily demonized in favor of absolving a Man of his crimes. What's, uh. What's up with that.

Oh, and that addition by the writer I mentioned was made while I was writing this.

This was made after Jojo was questioned whether this was a retcon as to who caused the wounds, as this whole thing could also certainly be read as Shamura being the one to directly wound their siblings (which I didn't think was the case, but still).

"I don't know if they thought it would be so severe" - How do I put this in a nice way. This feels like a weaseling out answer. This feels like giving Shamura an out only after being questioned on this writing choice. How could they possibly not know how severe it would be. This spider is Knowledge. This spider has Foresight of some kind. And how do you not know what they thought. You are the Writer. If you want to clarify something like this you gotta say it with your full chest.

Not to mention a good portion of the fandom probably won't even see these tweets, so this context is all missing from the story presented in the game. This is Tacked On Context on top of already Tacked On Context. It's unnecessary retconning all the way down.

Anyway. I realize the fandom at large will not care about this, because (and I mean this in the nicest way I can manage) the Narinder favoritism in this fandom is already impenetrable, but for me personally? This retconning that was so clearly done out of that favoritism?

It ruined Narinder's character for me. More than the fandom possibly could have. I mean, if it's fanon, it can be ignored. But this was canonized. Because Narinder is the dev team's favorite guy.

And I can't stand it.

[olderthannetfic]

More on LJ

That post is already long af, so here are my thoughts on replies:

Also, a feature that a lot of people liked and miss on tumblr are the communities. You could argue the tags kind of serve as the same but… idk.

olderthannetfic well, tumblr is apparently about to introduce a community feature. Do you have any interest in trying it out?

Yup! I wasn't as into communities as a typical LJ user, so I often forget to talk about them, but having a central place that isn't a site-wide tag makes a big difference. You can't kick bad actors out of a tumblr tag. The mod of a com can.

I'm intrigued by Tumblr's new feature. We'll see how it works in practice.

I submitted a fandom history/meta community. I have no idea what their moderation process looks like.

i miss anon kinkmemes :(

Yeah, tumblr isn't great for those. Dreamwidth is where they live these days.

The threaded comments aren't essential for fandom meta discussions, no matter what people used to think...

But they are more or less essential for certain other functions, like kinkmemes.

I do also think some of the change came about from the devices primarily used to access the platforms. Back in the day, monitoring software wasn't an issue, so you got away with using work or school computers. LJ and its threaded format was easy to navigate on a computer. On a phone, the UI didn't quite translate (without a good understanding of mobile CSS). So, image heavy and scroll-based UIs became the norm.

Agreed. DW comments are a pain to expand on mobile. Or at least they were. I haven't been on DW much in a few years, and I know they were working on their mobile

And I think it was just a better time for the Internet in general, before world governments starting running psy op campaigns at scale and before everything was an addiction based ad revenue model and before venture capitalists had their hands in every big site

I'm not quoting all of your comments (people should go read them on the other post), but yes, yes, and yes! LJ had an older internet vibe in a good way, and it not being a cash grab originally is a big part of why.

[littlechameleonguy]

outfits in dead boy detectives ep.2

As always, little disclaimer: I have absolutely no idea about fashion, i just love the outfits and share what i find.

Okay, honestly, episode two is a little tricky. In the beginning, all Crystal, Charles and Edwin wear the same outfits as before but I got some more detail. (Less for Charles and more for Crystal and Edwin.) So, I decided to start there.

(Probably should have split the post but that occur to me a little to late, so it got a a bit long.)

The outfits (and little changes) Crystal, Charles and Edwin brought from episode one to episode two:

Firstly, here are the links to the posts from ep.1 where I originally talked about the outfits. Crystal , Charles , Edwin

Starting with Crystal. In ep.2 we can finally see properly what she is wearing underneath the coat. (I love the turtleneck btw and will definitely hunt down something similar the next time i go thrifting.)

Also I got two shots were you can see the whole outfit including the boots and green socks (thighs?).

And one more for the hand with rings but its very small and hard to see but I think it's pretty much the same we saw in episode one.

That's it for Crystal, let's move on to Charles. Although I honestly don't have much for him. He is wearing exactly the same he wore in ep.1 and I could cover the layers there a lot better then in ep. 2. But one thing I haven't covered in ep. 1 are the gloves so here are some shots about them.

but yeah that's it, I'm sorry. Hope I can talk more about him again in ep. 3. (Charles is my favorite after all.)

So lets check on Edwin than. Surprisingly, I actually do have a little more for him. But first for him too the gloves.

Then, I want to show you a couple of more shots about his shoes. I know that I've covered them already but I think these shots are a lot better and you can see more details so I still wanted to include them.

Also Edwin got something new, this beautiful thoughtful gift ;)

And last but not least, little nerd goggles - lexicograhical lenses.

(yes, i did go back to the episode checking what they called this thing.)

Yeah that's it for now. Crystal will get another post with her second outfit in the episode but for the boys there is nothing more that I haven't covered already. The other characters I will do for the episode are of course Niko and the Cat King and also Jenny and Esther but they might be one post again because I don't have that much for them once more.

I'm still sick at home (it's ten days now) so I think I will be able to do all the post today and queue them for the next couple of days.

[novella-november]

Not to harsh your joy regarding your personal project, (which does sound awesome!) the fact that you keep answering the "can I do fanfic?" questions with "technically yes, but have you considered not doing that?" does not actually *feel* very fanfic friendly. (Especially for anyone who enjoys fanfic as a hobby and isn't also an ofic writer. For example, I personally write almost exclusively character studies that are an explicit reaction to canon; there is no real way to write that sort of thing except as fanfic.)

Which is just a long-winded way of requesting that you maybe consider less of a caveat with the FAQ if you make one, please.

oh that was definitely not my intention, thanks for the ask! I think it was mostly just because I got that same question a few times in a row from various anons within the same time span (including some that were not published publicly), it just happened that I was thinking of my own project(s, plural now) in the last day when I answered those two, for those who want an extra creative challenge.

There's a reason my own original thing has been in my head for the last ten years without me actually writing it while I've written and posted tons of fanfiction, and even now some of my original works are going to be based on Arsene Lupin, so they'd technically be considered fanfiction since they're based on and use an established work for the characters and settings --

--writing completely original fic *is* harder, and that's exactly why I'm *suggesting* (not requiring!) that people consider taking 1 out of short story 4 challenges to look at their work in a new light.

90% of what I read and (until I actually start and finish my original works) 100% of what I've written in my life is fanfic. I have nothing against fanfic, otherwise I woudn't even be interested in creative writing.

But its also not a diss to say "Would you consider looking at your [fanfic] writing from a new angle and try to figure out different ways of going about it?"

Honestly, being able to even consider this option *as a fun extra challenge* is meant to help improve your writing and creative skills; it's not meant as a cheap shot at people who choose to write fanfiction because I my self write and read tons of it,

it's me saying "if you want even more practice at creative writing during these monthly challenges, try branching out a little bit from your comfort zone, you may be pleasantly surprised."

People who write and read fanfiction already have tons of creative experience, and if people like me and many other fanfic writers who one day dream of being published authors, want to broaden our horizons and seek new experiences, one of the easiest exercises is to take something we're planning on writing or already wrote, and see what we would change to make it brand new and standalone--

-- something that not only helps you come up with new ideas, but also will help when it comes time to *edit*, which can be, depending on the length and complexity of your story, can be a complicated process:

whether that means having to delete scenes entirely,

changing what a character says,

altering an aspect of the worldbuilding to fix plot holes

, re-writing your character so they're not overpowered because it was ruining the stakes and tension,

changing the POV of chapters because it was ruining the flow of the story,

etc etc etc.

I love fan fiction.

I love reading it and I love writing it, and for many people who take on monthly writing challenges, it is a way to test ourselves and gear ourselves up and prove to ourselves that not only can we write x amount of words, but it proves to ourselves that we are *capable of creating*, and for many creatives, that ultimately leads to crafting our own unique stories;

if you're already taking place in a monthly writing challenge, why not push the bounds a little bit *if you're so inclined* and test the waters? Especially when you're surrounded by a community who is cheering you on, every step of the way?

Every Nanowrimo I ever won was fanfiction. Heck, even not during November I once did 40k words in two weeks for a fic.

I always stalled out when I tried to write original works;

it is much easier to start small with a single short story than it is to try to write an entirely original novel, and my encouraging people to try baby steps by *experimenting* with one short story out of four in a month is not meant to be a diss against fanfiction,

but an *encouragement to those like me* who were so eager to write original works but floundered when I tried to jump into the deep end and felt disheartened.

Many fanfic authors aspire to write original fics, and thats who that challenge is for, for the people who want to write original works but are too afraid to fully commit; I'll still be writing and posting fanfiction even if I become a published author, even If I just have to come up with a few new pen-names to post them under.

There's absolutely no judgement on anyone who wants to write fanfiction for these challenges, my "caveat" as you say, is only there as encouragement to those like me who are afraid to take the first step, or uncertain of how to even *begin* that first step, not any kind of condemnation.

TL;DR:

I did not mean for my responses on the "can I write fanfiction" to come off as rude or looking down on fanfiction, its meant to be an encouragment to all the people like me who love fanfic and started out writing fanfiction, and dream of writing original works to take the first step, with a community of like-minded people all taking the same challenge.

Like every other challenge aspect of these events, taking a fanfic idea and turning it into an original short story is completely optional and meant as inspiration, just like following prompts for events is not mandatory, and even completing the 30k word goal is not mandatory; the goal for this month is to create, get in the habit of creating, and having fun with it!

[thehuntfortrencherlostmedia]

The Origins, Ramsay Fiction & The Confusing Mishmash of Everything Before Fix Me - A Marianas Trench Retrospective

Okay, so my post got likes, but I only got one actual response from anyone, agreeing with me on the fact they like things in chronological order. So, I guess it's time to talk about the bands early days, eh?

The truth of the matter is, the band as many know them started in late 2003 and early 2004. Anything before that gets placed in this weird murky middle section with a name change, members leaving, and also a complete and utter mess of when Ramsay Fiction came to an end and where Marianas Trench begins. We have located a demo disk from 2001 with the Marianas name on it, but we also don't have any dates as to when certain things were recorded or uploaded onto MP3.com.

Here's what we do know: Josh Ramsay, a teenager dealing with both an addiction to heroin and an eating disorder, loved music from a young age. His father owned a recording studio, and his mother was a vocal coach. Music was literally in his blood, but even though the two had connections into the industry and everything, he set out to make it into the business on his own. And he knew one thing for certain: He DID NOT want to be a solo act, he wanted to be in a band.

The issue for Josh was getting that band together. At first, it was him and his sister Sara (backup vocals), her then boyfriend and later husband Trevor Spilchen (on bass, even though he was a guitar player), Josh's friend Steve Marshall (on guitar and backup vocals, despite being a BASSIST), and a rotating list of drummers, eventually finding Ian Casselman in a series of classifieds in a newspaper late into the bands life. This lineup didn't last long, as once Sara became pregnant with her and Trevor's first kid, they stepped aside... leading to 2 new members joining: Josh's friend Matt Webb (originally a keyboardist), and Steve's pal Morgan Hempstead (the man who bestowed them the Marianas Trench name). It's tough to say who plays what on a lot of the Ramsay Fiction tracks that make up Cooler Than Me, as I think they come from two different recording sessions, if not more. Same goes for a lot of the self-titled EP work too, as we know at least two tracks from that era, an early recording of Fix Me, and a early recording of Skin & Bones, were both first made public to people in 2004... months after Steve and Morgan left, and Mike Ayley joined the group after getting to know everyone as Ian's roommate.

In fact, for the longest time, a lot of the Ramsay Fiction stuff was lost media, songs that nobody outside of a rare few had ever heard. As of April 1st this year, this is no longer the case, and all the songs have been found and preserved (yes, even PMS... despite it being taken off Youtube, has been saved.)

To talk about these songs is hard. There's definitely a lot of emotion and pain in these tracks, and the overall sound is very 90's, going for more of heavy grunge and alternate rock sound, very reminiscent of Matthew Goode. But you can also hear those other elements creep in from other acts Josh has referenced time and time throughout in small snippets. The biggest thing holding a lot of these songs back is a mix of production (which is still insanely impressive for the time period and the fact it was done by a teen no less), and lyrical ckunkiness, making them semi hard to decipher.

What do I mean by this? Take track 1, the one everyone knows: Primetime. The song's verses speak about how something is this, but the person is the opposite... bu we don't get a clear picture of who the person is.. only that supposedly a hit of heroin will make everything feel better. It's odd that this is the song that's somehow lasted the test of time out of all these tracks. But hey, it did lead to a great callback on End of An Era.

Track 2, Shiny Like Dirt (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bG-OoIsFbow), is truly a song where Josh took a ton of ideas he had for songs, and threw it against the wall to see if it would stick. And... it does stick, but also doesn't? The chorus is super catchy, basically admitting he's a confusing person, and that nothing he does makes sense... and yet, despite it all, he still has fears of the unknown. The "coming up for air" bridge is probably my favourite part, but it's definitely an earworm I return to occasionally. I've also linked it in case you've yet to hear it.

Track 3: Shallow. The song we've known about for the longest time, the one the fandom cherished like a baby... and honestly, it's probably my least favourite? I've tried to decipher the lyrics on this one for ages, but I can't come up with anything concrete. I do think the song has a good tone, and the guitar solo is totally awesome. In fact, there's a lot of great guitar and bass work throughout a lot of these songs. But there's something missing for me on this one.

Track 4: Playing Dead. This seems to be the earliest recorded song of this bunch, going off Josh's voice here. And honestly, I think it's the closest tonally to a current day Marianas Trench song. There's a bit of a swing sound going on in the drums, the harmonies.... and it's an interesting number overall. Also, it's our clearest sampling of Steve's voice, and just how close it is to Matt's vocals xD... it seems to be a simple love song about a girl and how he's open to roleplaying almost anything with her, using "playing dead" as his main metaphor. It's the black sheep of the CD, but a good one.

Track 5: Hideous. Here we go... the first track Josh ever wrote about his bulimia and depression... and how it was eating him from the inside... and how he was asking for help, even though he wasn't fully ready to accept it at the time. The beginning parts are very slow, and methodical.... only for the song to pick up energy in it's second half and become truly one of the standouts on this album.

Track 6: PMS. Okay... so... this one is tough to talk about. We knew for years it was supposedly very comedic in nature and that it was also politically incorrect, but that was it. For those of you who still have not heard it, there's a copy of it in this Discord server in the links and archive section: https://discord.gg/d5M3xVN9

As for the song itself, I personally really love it. It's a song about Josh being petty to a girl and truthfully telling her off. It's definitely of its time period, but in the best way possible. And once again, the guitar work here is SO GOOD. If you can stomach a song that truly is a time capsule and understand that Josh would never write anything as juvenile today, give it a listen.

Track 7: Don't Touch Me. The song that holds a special place in my heart... as I was the one to LOCATE IT after 18 years in the massive pile of MP3.com links that were given to the Internet Archive in 2021. And it's a ballad all about Josh dealing with both the arguments and turmoil he would feel when coming down from getting high. Truthfully, this might be the most emotional song of this batch, and one that definitely sticks its landing.

So, my overall thoughts here are to give these songs a listen, and understand them for what they are: the start of a musical prodigy finding his footing and his sense of style while getting clean and hoping somebody, anybody, would give him a chance. While the tone might not have influenced Josh’s style fully going forward, there are elements from these songs that were taken and repurposed into later Trench tracks.

Luckily, and also sadly... Jonathan Simkin & Chad Kroeger gave him that chance. And thus, we got ourselves a self titled EP... and a full title debut. But that'll be next time.

[alpaca-clouds]

Solarpunk Game Ideas: Visual Novels + Dating Sims

Okay, yes, I will admit: This list of games for the most part is mostly about putting out some ideas for games that are less slow and more fast paced. Because so far we had mostly very, very slow games in this. Still, I do want to make one post about VNs, because I still think that the VN genre is a super fun one, that is way to underused and undervalued. Also Romance games or Dating Sims, that sadly mostly get hated on for no reason.

The Issue:

Especially on itch.io there are a couple of Visual Novels for Solarpunk and nearly a third of the games on Steam are also tagged for it, but I feel that for a big part this once more suffers from the same issue as the Solarpunk novel writing: People struggle with coming up with a proper conflict, especially here for having the branching paths that often are a big part of VNs. And Dating Sims often are kinda a subgenre of Visual Novels (their origin is from a crossover of VNs with finance games, which is still so wild to me).

Like yesterday, just three little ideas what one could do within this mix of genres.

Idea #1: A Scientific Horror Story

My favorite subgenre of VN is the horror VN. Even though it kinda gets more attention only recently. And as some who follow me for a while know that I love the idea of Solarpunk horror. As I have said before: Horror - especially Supernatural Horror - is perfect for Solarpunk. Because ghosts, demons and monsters do not care whether or not you have an utopian world. They will still haunt you!

So, here is the idea: A group of scientists start their work in some remote location. My general idea is either some scientists for natural stuff (biodiversity?) or something historical (maybe of dead cultures). But while they are there isolated in their small group, strange things keep happening at the station. And it turns out that the area their new station is set up in is in fact haunted.

I personally would probably link the haunting to some sort of dark history. Maybe colonialism, given that Solarpunk is also very anti-colonialist and such. Though I am going to leave it at that.

Idea #2: Murder in a Solarpunk Commune

I think one of the most common genres of VNs is actually the Mystery genre. A lot of VNs are somewhere in the mystery genre. Maybe in crossover with another genre, but a lot of Mystery is there. Which kinda makes sense. And as I said before: Even in a Solarpunk world murders will happen. They will be less, but they will happen.

So, here is my idea. We have a Solarpunk future where most people live either in city or in rural communes. There are also a whole bunch of people who will just travel as a sort of futuristic bards. This is the player character. And this futuristic bard comes to a rural commune to stay for a few days - when a murder happens. And somehow everyone errupts in accusations, because the murder victim has clearly been a bit of an asshole. So now the people ask the travelling main character to be the one to solve the murder. And hence the player needs to talk to people and try to find out what is happening in this place.

Idea #3: Polyamorous Dating Sim

Lastly, let me talk Dating Sim. Admittedly, I have only played so many Dating Sims, but let me talk about the thing that annoys me about them: All of them are mononormative. There is basically no Dating Sim that is polyamorous. Sure, there are a handful indie poly dating sims, but it is pretty rare. Which, yes, I am very aware that this is also for technical limitations. But hear me out.

Just make a sweet little dating game of a person getting into a nice solarpunk setting. Maybe into a rural commune, maybe into a science center, something like that. Does not really matter, but they are gonna date. But this is a world were polyamory is pretty normalized, so some of the people you are dating are actually already in a relationship - at times with each other. And depending on the kinds of constellations you could play around with the outcomes for this.

Again, just have not seen a lot in this direction and man, I would do a lot for it!

And if you are interested in creative Solarpunk endeavors, I would love to invite you into the Solarpunk Creatives community! :)

[lovemyromance]

Do ... do people not understand that the "classic" SJM love interest switch up is already happening... ?

Anti-Elriels love to make the argument that SJM never has a FMC end up with her first love interest (false: see Nesta & Cassian, see Bryce & Hunt) and therefore Elriel is not endgame.

Except. Y'all are failing to realize that Elain's "First Love Interest" isn't Azriel.

Some people would say it was Greyson. She loved that man. Enough to still hold out hope that he might want her even after she became fae. She wore his ring even after she was Made, and she wanted nothing to do with her mate because she wanted her human fiancée.

Now personally, I liken Elain's love for Greyson to be the same type of off-page relationship/love that Bryce had for Connor (rip). Like yes it's there, it was valid, but in the grand scheme of things, it's not really a focus moving forward.

Elain's actual "first love interest" is Lucien. And I know you might be scoffing - "But all you do is post about how Elucien isn't in love!" - correct. They are not in love. I don't believe they will ever fall in love. But I still believe Lucien is her "first love interest" because in the context of this argument specifically, "first love interests" are used as a bait and switch. They are one, among several options available to the FMC as she goes on her journey.

Elain may not love Lucien, but his mating bond with her is essentially the thing that creates drama-tension-intrigue. It becomes a "Will they or won't they" situation with the mating bond in play, and regardless of their current feelings for each other, it automatically makes Lucien a love interest for Elain. By that - I really just mean he is an option. Whether she likes it or not - he has a tie to her that she will have to either accept or reject.

And since Lucien declared "You're my mate" the moment Elain got chucked out of the Cauldron - he became a love interest in her story. The first (real option, since Greyson took himself out the competition of vying for her hand).

Elriel only became a real ship in ACCOWAR. Yes they have some subtle moments in ACOMAF that were cute (see: Azriel Allen Poe), but the first real time I thought they could be a thing was in ACOWAR. After Elain was declared to already have a mate.

You know what that creates? Say it with me now- Drama. Tension. Intrigue.

Elain is already technically tied to Lucien, regardless of whether either one of them wants that. But she still starts to develop feels for Azriel. She buys Azriel gifts for Solstice. She gives him permission to kiss her.

The switch is already happening people. The idea of a rejected mating bond is so original and contrarian and so new, it is exactly what SJM needs. And she knows that - because she's out here writing about how the mating bond can be rejected as early as ACOWAR. She's out here having multiple characters question the cauldron, essentially questioning fate. She's out here on the Today show talking about rejected mates.

Literally, verbatim saying "What if the forces put you with the wrong person?"

The "wrong person" here isn't Azriel. Elriel is not just an obstacle on the path to Elucien. It's the other way around, babes. If Elriel was simply just an obstacle, then Lucien would have received a POV, he would've been way more involved as the future MMC. But who is SJM choosing to spotlight? Azriel. He got the BC, he got the feature in CC3. And if you think this is SJM "just planning ahead" LOL. She's not planning ahead and building hype for the MMC two books in advance when she hasn't even tackled the next book yet.

However you look at it, the fates put Elain with Lucien, but she does not want him. Her defying fate to be with Azriel is the most badass thing anyone could do. But I'd expect nothing less from Elain 'Kingslayer' Archeron 💅🏽💅🏽

[wavyskies]

A post that's very much related to a separate post that's been going around the graphic side of Tumblr. (To the person that made the original, this is not in bad taste. I'm just stating opinions of my own and opinions that others may have in common with me. I genuinely have no intent on trying to make you look necessarily bad in any way. The first half is just kind of me rephrasing the original post because I thought it had a good point, but that point got lost along the way.):

Make a pretty blog because: you enjoy making it, having one makes you happy, looking at it comforts you, etc.

If making a pretty blog doesn't feel like something that would be worth your time or would make you happy, then don't.

Just have fun and be yourself, there is no standard to meet and you having a "non-aesthetic" blog doesn't reflect on you. People are here for YOU, not your blog aesthetic.

That being said, to anyone and everyone who DOES have an "aesthetic" blog, that's cool. I hope it makes you happy.

And I hope that some people realize that making and decorating a blog, even if it's super "aesthetic," IS a way to express yourself. Art is self expression, fashion is self expression, music is self expression, even book covers can be self expression. It doesn't matter if it follows a color scheme, maybe that's just what you like and what feels right.

And using myself as an example because I'm sure I'm not the only one, I don't make my blog appearance for ANY of you. I'm sorry. It's for me, because it brings me comfort. I like having a pretty blog because it helps with my anxiety, I enjoy looking at it, and it feels more like mine. And also, there are so many blogs I have made that I find "aesthetic" that are on private. They could not be less for followers or status.

"It's just copying" (<- paraphrasing here.) No idea is original. Listen to me: no BOOK idea is entirely original. Every story has technically been done before in one way or another. Does that mean the author has no personality? Does that mean the author has no creativity or is just trying to seem cool? No. There is no such thing as an entirely original thing. But they we're expressing their talent and what they like to do. Let people have fun, let people do what they want.

This same argument can and does happen in the artist community, the writing community, and every other form of art. This is not a new argument, it's just a slightly different context. If this was applied intensely to everything, no one would participate in hobbies anymore.

I love everyone who doesn't have "aesthetic" blogs. I love everyone who does. And yes, some people with pretty blogs get followers more easily, but those followers have minds of their own. If they realise "hey, this person isn't actually all that great of an individual," then they'll unfollow them. A color scheme and some pngs don't earn love and forgiveness. It's all for enjoyment and fun.

Please do be yourself. But be yourself in whatever way works for YOU. At the end of the day, it really is just pixels. So the appearance of your things or how cool you seem DOESN'T matter. But take that again with the context of this post: the appearance of your things or how cool you seem DOESN'T matter. So do what you want.

I am very aware that this post is much less than perfect. There are definitely parts that I could've phrased differently, and things I could've added to convey the message better. But I hope you can understand what I was trying to say. Thank you for your time if you read this far, and if you have any comments or things you would like to add on to improve this, please let me know. And it's more than likely that I'm wrong about a lot of this, and this entire conversation is up to debate. If you disagree, then please discuss it publicly because I think this is an interesting debate and I would love to understand more than my biased stances allow me to right now. Again, thank you so much for your time. Have a lovely day. <3

[seren1tyhaze]

pls post dive part 2 😓😓 dying over here

Dive Part Two Teaser: Strawberry Sunday

Hi :) I know, I know. It's been so long.

I want to say firstly, your love and support of my Dive fic has been more than I could have ever imagined. When I first published it last May in a fever dream after Doyoung's D&G photoshoot, I never imagined it would be this well received. We are quickly approaching 1.5K notes on the original post and every new comment really makes me smile.

I really am actively working on part two, which is lovingly titled Strawberry Sunday and a continuation of Jungwoo's cheeky idea from part one. For now, I offer a small teaser which of course involves that same religious imagery that everyone fell in love with in Dive. It's also nsfw.

Please comment on this post to be included in the official tag list when Strawberry Sunday is released in full.

Until then, check out my other works and stay well :)

~~

Doyoung gasps for air and slams the palm of his hand down on the wooden surface of the desk hard, digging his fingernails into the varnished surface. His other hand runs through his hair for the hundredth time, grateful he doesn’t have a mirror hanging in his home office, knowing he looks a mess. A groan rips from his lips and it rings out loud, filthy, and filled with pleasure.

He drops his hands and gaze at the same time, reaching down to pull cheeks covered in arousal and spit up to face him, sliding his cock out from surprised lips. He takes a moment to examine the beautiful face looking up at him from the floor, eyes twinkling with mischief and skin flushed a beautiful shade of red.

He takes a moment to breathe, dragging his thumb across a wet lower lip before bringing his thumb to his lips and practically moaning around the digit, tasting himself. His cock twitches and before he can say anything he feels teeth grazing heavily across his length-

“Earth to Doyoung-ie?” comes a sing-song chant through his headset, snapping him back to reality.

Doyoung looks up embarrassed and into the webcam on his computer, clearing his throat quickly. Haechan has a knowing look in his eye and his head is cocked slightly, staring him down through the screen.

“Yeah, yeah sorry, I got distracted by um…an email,” he stammers out, flipping quickly in his open Bible on the top of his desk.

Had he just been standing at his desk, imagining you were underneath it giving him head during his weekly virtual Bible study session? Yes, yes he had been. Was he now having to face the very curious eyes of three of his best friends, the “Lee Three” as they liked to call themselves, and try to lie? Yes, absolutely.

“Must have been some email…” Jeno mutters, taking a long swig from his water bottle. His hair is damp and by the look of his background, it seems like he's dialed in from his phone in the lounge at his gym.

“It’s okay, I think we’re almost done for the day anyways,” Mark offers, closing his own Bible and adjusting the collar at his neck. He didn’t normally wear his costume (as Haechan called it) for their sessions but he was away at a conference and in between presentations.

“Can I ask for some advice before we close?” Doyoung pipes up, closing his own book softly and flipping it over, as if that would help him be less ashamed for what he was about to ask.

“Of course, we are always here to listen, Doie,” Mark replies softly, pushing his glasses up his nose and leaning back in the uncomfortable chair he had been sitting in for the past hour.

“Let’s just say, there’s something that you know someone you care for very much would enjoy. And maybe this thing is something you’re unsure of. And this thing you’re unsure of is something that two other people you care for very deeply suggested but you really aren’t sure if it’s the right thing for you and the other person to explore right now…” Doyoung rambles on, seeming to get lost in the vague grammar of the narrative he was building.

Haechan cuts him off with an exasperated sigh which almost transforms into a whine as he speaks.

“Jungwoo and Jaehyun want to fuck this girl you won’t shut up about and you don’t know if group sex is really the right thing for you do this early in your situationship,” he states bluntly, looking up from picking at the corner of his fingernails.

“HAECHAN!” Mark and Jeno yell into their headphones in unison, Doyoung flushing a deep shade of red and reaching up to clutch at the cross around his neck.

“What?” Hyuck asks, still holding a deadpan look in his face, “I’m right, aren’t I?”

Doyoung sighs but nods slowly, looking up to meet an awkward Jeno, who is scratching the back of his neck. He flicks his gaze to Mark who is merely laughing, leaning back in his chair and clutching his stomach.

“Why are you laughing, Father,” Doyoung retorts, feeling the heat of embarrassment rise in his chest as he chastises one of his oldest friends.

“Doyoung, please. The three of you have been doing this for years and I don’t know why you get so worked up about it each time. If she wants to do it and you are comfortable with it, just make sure you have open lines of communication with those two devils. You know how carried away they can get,” Mark replies with a signature roll of his eyes.

“Yeah, I’m still scarred from my night with them,” Jeno murmurs quietly, thinking no one heard him.

“Oh shut up, you know you loved that shit,” Haechan quips quickly, leaning close to his webcam as if it would bring him physically closer to him.

“Honestly, go for it, dude. It’s like the least risky situation out there and from the sounds of it, I think she is probably into it,” Hyuck adds, voice becoming almost soft as he finishes his sentence.

“Just don’t do it on a Sunday, okay? That’s all I ask,” Mark chuckles again, waving goodbye to the group before disconnecting from the call.

Doyoung rolls his eyes, nodding to the other two before disconnecting and pulling out his phone to finally return Jungwoo’s text that he had been staring at for weeks.

~~

hope you enjoyed ;) comment to be added to the tag list!

[yullalightk]

Mr. Puzzles' 5⭐️Rivals AU design/lore���

Okay, I was originally going to just post an explanation about his design and make a different post all about his lore in my AU. But, I changed my mind since I don't have a lot to say about his design so I thought it would be a good idea to combine them both into one post instead! hope you'll enjoy this simple yet long explanation of my version of Mr. Puzzles!!

Design👔

For his design, I based the pants off of the 1980s ones and his coat being from the 1960~70s. Since in my hc I think he was born around the mid 1950s or 70s 'cause Disney world was built in 1971 so It would make sense for him to be born around that time period!

I also went with a ringleader-ish design because in his original design, he looked like a circus performer than a movie director which is clever btw! 'cause it shows how he prioritizes his first dream of building an amusement park! Anyhow, I didn't really change much just adding some minor details. Like his hands with multicolored wires wrapping his hands. It would show that he isn't a human anymore and it wouldn't cause so much confusion if he's a robot or not😂

And uhhhh..... yes, I added high healed shoes 'cause, C'MON!! HE WOULD TOTALLY WEAR THOSE!! AHSKDHLJKKBSH

Mr. Puzzles' backstory

So, not sure if you all remember this but, I already made a lore/backstory for Mr. Puzzles. But ever since the new episodes leading up to WOTFI 2024, I changed a lot of Puzzles' backstory! And this isn't complete by any means! I'll change stuff or remove stuff that I think isn't necessary for his character. Until then this is his backstory for now. And I'll make a better Mr. Puzzles' backstory post. I swear I'm cramping in so many things at once it isn't funny anymore😅

The things I changed were that both of his parents are horrible people. But, both of their reason for being harsh/abusive on Adam(Puzzles' human name) is pretty different.

Puzzles' backstory in my AU is that, when he was child his dreams were uncommon, childish, "Not Normal". He was told at a young age by his father that his dreams were unrealistic and that he should be a doctor or something more successful. When Puzzles' didn't listen, he would get beaten by his father emotionally and physically.

His mother on the other hand couldn't care less about who or what he wanted to be but, focused on what she wanted him her to be.

A girl. She never wanted a son she wanted a daughter who would be raised to be just like her, the thing is both of her parents push what they want their son to be, Rather than listening or try accepting their son for who he wants to be and what he likes, they and the people around him treat him like nothing but a freak, someone who doesn't belong to the place that was supposed to be his "home"

He wanted to prove his father wrong that no matter how childish his dreams is he can be successful, and once he was successful enough, he would create a new world where nobody is alone. He will create a world where anybody can be anything! without having anyone to tell them what to be. He took many drastic measures to make his dream a reality though, like cutting off his head and torturing his victims just for the viewers entertainment. And once he was famous he will have enough power to make his own world.

Long story short: He lived a horrible life in a horrible world, and he wanted to create a better world where nobody will suffer again, and at the same time prove to his father that he can be successful in life no matter how childish his dream may be. And gain friends along the way.

I'll come up with a better backstory... this one is just full of my hcs, too many hcs.

[artastic-friend]

Kinda random peeve:

(This is aimed at no one in particular so please don’t feel bad if you said something like this before! I just felt the need to ramble about it for a moment)

I keep getting comments from ppl saying things like “omg finally someone drawing the DJ” or “yes! Start loving him NOW!!” Stuff like that-

And .. like… huh?

I’ve been literally obsessed with this creature since the original security breach first came out??? Been drawing him and posting those drawings on the internet since January 2022 and been sharing them to tumblr since technically November 2022, (most abundantly posting those drawings in the past 6 months though) what do you mean by “finally” or “now”????😭

And not just me either, so many other DJMM enjoyers have been doing the same, like look at NTLS for example, bro’s got two whole years worth of art as well! Why are ppl acting like the idea of someone enjoying the giant spider is a new thing that’s never happened before?💀💀

No hard feelings though, genuinely, it’s just a minor peeve for me to see ppl acting like one recent drawing I post is like- the only post I’ve ever made relating to DJMM💀 when in fact he has been my hyperfixation for 2 years.

I’m not super upset because I know for those people they likely just never payed attention to the tags or came from other platforms where art of the character was harder to find or less abundant or something.

But like… letting y’all know now that if you want more DJ content to look at I have a whole tag on my blog full of art and other stuff of him💀💀 Including both regular DJ and all sorts of AU stuff.

[the-cookie-of-doom]

Hiii

I remember when you were posting about your Kim/Wik Twins AU and I was so hooked! There’s so much potential for angst in this AU😩🤌 I always wondered if there was anything new going on with this WIP.

PS: I’ve been following your blog for a little while (I don’t interact bc im shyy) and I love all your Kimchay WIPS and little excerpts you’ve blessed us with (they make my day everytime I see one). So I want to personally thank your brain for all these wonderful ideas and just thank you for being you 😊

send me an ask and I'll tell you about one of these WIPs!

Oh anon, you're a darling! This was so nice to wake up to <3 I actually haven't worked much on that AU since originally posting it, but you're right, there is so much angst potential in this AU between Wik and Kim. One of the inspirations from it actually came from World of Warcraft, and how the character Varian was split into two people, the other one being Lo'Gosh. I really loved how it wasn't just "this is the good side vs. the bad/feral side." Varian was polite and charming and good at socializing, but he was also vain and easy to manipulate (which was the point of splitting him), whereas Lo'Gosh was definitely a barbarian, but he was also all of Varian's strong will and ambition/motivation, and passion. I hadn't seen that kind of character splitting before, because it's usually an easy shorthand for doing a good/evil thing.

So for the purposes of this fic, Kim isn't just all the evil mafia while Wik is the sweetheart singer. Wik is very driven and tbh a little selfish, he's kind to his fans but ultimately very cold, because he grew up in a world where anything he cared about could be used against him. Both of them are still calculating in clever, but it's Wik that begins investigating Chay, intentionally using his stardom as an in, and purposefully manipulating him to get more information. He takes it to a stronger degree than we actually see from Kim in the show.

Whereas Kim is the quieter, more contained side. They both love music but Kim prefers guitar/piano over singing because he doesn't want to draw attention to himself the way Wik does, although he does write a lot of poetry/lyrics. One of the betrayals from Wik leaving is that he stole Kim's songs. The other is that he left Kim behind. He loves his brother more than anything, and Wik leaving him without so much as a goodbye was devastating for him.

Here's your slightly less than 500 words!

“You left me!” “Would you have even come with me?” Kim’s voice breaks on a desperate, “Yes!” He wants to take it back as soon as the word leaves his mouth, too honest in the heat of his moment, chest heaving with the weight of it. The only good thing about the admission is that his brother is too stunned to reply; Kim takes satisfaction in that, in the implication of it, as Wik realizes the depth of his own selfishness.  “Kim…” “I would…” Kim swallows. Days of captivity have left his throat dry. It hurts, speaking these words aloud, tearing them out of his chest to release them after all these years. “I would have. If you asked me to, I would have.”  He would have followed his brother anywhere. They were always meant to be together. Kim and Wik, two halves of the same whole, mirror images down to their names. Until Wik decided he couldn’t bear his own reflection anymore.  “Kim, I’m sorry, I didn’t know—” “How could you? You only ever think about yourself.” Kim laughs. It’s wet. It hurts, like everything else about this damned conversation. Maybe Wik was right; they were better off alone. “I thought you knew me better than anyone, but you don’t know me at all.” Maybe Wik never did. What a horrible time to realize how truly alone he really is.  Wik doesn’t speak for a long time. Neither does Kim, keeping his head bowed and his breaths measured, cracked ribs aching with every rise and fall of his chest. What a cruel joke that the first time they’re sharing a space in years, something Kim has longed for since the day Wik left, and it’s only because someone else has forced them together.  “I don’t think you would ever leave the family,” Wik eventually says, his voice quieter than Kim has ever heard it. “You’re not like me, Kim, you never wanted to leave.” Of course he didn’t. Why would Kim ever want to leave his brothers? But at least if he had, Kinn and Tankhun would have had each other. They wouldn’t have been alone, not like Wik is now. Not like Kim is, forever missing his other half. Neither of them were meant to be alone. "It doesn't matter anymore." "Yes it does. Kim. I never meant to hurt you. I—" But there's no more time to talk because their captors are walking in, and Wik is throwing himself in front of Kim, both of them bound and unable to put of any kind of fight. Not that it would have mattered; Wik already got himself kidnapped. Too nosy to stay out of the family completely, but apparently the idealistic fool didn't bother to keep up with his martial arts. Still. Despite blaming him for the current predicament, Kim is a little bit touched that Wik is trying to protect him now. Too late to matter, maybe, but it's something.

[wasyago]

okay don't mind me just gonna ramble for a second haha-

(this was originally going to be under the drawing, but it got too long, and i can't add it in a reblog because both things are on queue, so separate post it is)

i just love how every time i start a drawing im like "well alright, just a quick sketch yea? no color, maybe some gray to white gradient and that's it, okay?". and then i start drawing (and obviously it takes longer than i thought because duh) and i go "okay but- i gotta at least do the flat colors, right? just the flats- maybe even some random colors to not spend too much time on it--". and then. of course. i do the flats, and im pretty happy with the result yeah? looks simple but not too simple, like it has some color some personality to it, but its not over the top so. so, i leave the drawing i go to get some water and start on an actual piece, and when i come back and take a look at what i drew its like, "well. listen. listen-- yeah im still pretty happy with how it looks but, but. it could be a little better, yea?" and then i sit down, put my water down, put my other drawing to the side, and i sit there making this quick sketch look better. "oh i don't like the colors anymore! but its all on one layer now so i can't exactly change them, plus i still like the idea, so maybe some filters? yeaj some filters on top will do!" (and of course its a yellow shade filter, because im original like that and 90% of my drawings don't also have it on). and then i add them filters and i think" well maybe some bounce light now? surely it already looks better with the filter but its kinda flat, and i want to bring *a little bit* of the original color in" so i add the bounce light, but now it looks out of place! shocker! so i decide that surely i can maybe add some grass at the bottom to hide the edge of the drawing a little. and well, alright, grass looks good, but its too dark, brings a lot of attention to it! and i can't exactly make it lighter, so, the logical choice would be to make the characters darker too, bring some contrast into the thing! and lets just do all the values while we're at it, why not! patterns to the horse, make the pants and skin darker, yes yes. and, oh- but now the eyes are lost because there's more dark hues! gotta make a new layer on top and make them eyes a little bit darker, maybe also color the bandana red and not brown so it looks special, hm? oh and! while we're on this top layer, lets also fix up the hair a little, maybe add some blush... oh and the straps of the saddle look weird, gotta fix those too! oh man and not that i look at it-- the head is too big! lets merge all the layers together and start that same thing over again! yes yes make the head a little smaller, yeah looks much better now! oh, better add some fading as well, to make it fit in the background a little, oh and some glow, suuure sure, and some lights in the eyes, and-

(and now that im looking at it, i realize that i somehow didn't save the final version????? like, i did a lot more to the thing, fixed up the saddle and that awkward shade oh his knee, and the grass-- i wont fix it now because NOW im too lazy to do it for some reason, but yeah, a bit unfortunate u_u)

anyways, point being, love art, art is pog, wish i cared a little less about it sometimes, but it also turnes this into this (imagine me pointing at the drawings as i say that, overly dramatic and sounding a little annoyed with myself)

[transflynnscifo]

Words left unspoken-- Flynn and the XBOX 360 ending

Today, I finally wanted to make a post about something that might be a little obscure. Whether it truly is would depend on whether

a) you’ve watched/seen the original version of Vesperia,

or

b) you enjoyed the game through PS3 or Definitive Edition and have looked into the significant differences done between the same game.

To preface, I think it is no secret to anyone that the original 360 version did not have Flynn as a playable character, whereas Patty was just not present (though there was a hint in the original version, if my memory serves me right, that there were plans to implement her even before the ps3 version)

This is my warning to avoid reading further, as this entire post contains spoilers for the ending of the game, regardless of the version.

To make sure all readers are up to speed, it’s important to mention that Flynn is not brought along for Tarqaron in the 360 version. If the player wants to talk to him as an NPC, he would be present in Aurnion (and the Colosseum as an enemy if you’re doing the 100-man melee). Regardless, this significantly changes the progression of the ending cutscene, once you are able to defeat the end-game boss. I would suggest to take a few minutes to watch and compare the original vs updated ending, which I am providing now, below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e91L4AIKcyg The version used in PS3 and Definitive Edition.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgeMz8Vyocw The version used for the XBOX 360 version, in English.

[I want to mention that I think the part where the rest of the party runs up to Yuri is cute in both versions. In the older one, Yuri kneels to greet Repede! Um, they forgot Patty in the new version somehow, but I imagine she’s doing her Dream Star arte and is about to explode the others.]

Let’s put our focus on Flynn, though!

In the Definitive edition, you know that he approaches Yuri happily, and they both do their little handshake/high-five thing before running up to the others.

In the XBOX 360 version, we get something entirely different! We have Flynn looking up softly at the sky in order to declare his pride for Yuri, without Yuri ever being able to hear that, let alone know it was even said.

Why does he not say it in the newer versions of Vesperia? Your guess is as good as mine, but I will still propose an idea: The moment was different.

Time and time again Flynn witnesses Yuri and the gang do so many good deeds without taking the proper credit for it. In the case of the original, Flynn is not playable, so he witnesses even less of what the party is doing. I think this cut away from the party perspective in the original to show Flynn is meant to assure the player (who usually may be controlling Yuri) that yes, he genuinely considers Yuri in that high of a regard. He doesn’t personally witness the defeat of the Adephagos in the original, so his only line of thought is to assume Yuri was able to defeat it himself. In fact, the original helps the viewer know that Flynn is perfectly certain this was Yuri’s doing.

Though Flynn goes through the same issue of Yuri refusing to take credit in all versions of the game, he is able to travel with the others and establish more of a bond (albeit awkwardly) with them in PS3 and onward. I think part of him not saying the pride line in those endings was also because he was generally relieved to see the Adephagos defeated with his own eyes. I assure you he probably still is proud of Yuri for it.

Let’s move on to a more interesting observation. Since the English XBOX 360 was very big for the west and there was no dual audio at the time, many players have missed out on how the line is spoken in the Japanese version of the original. So I wanted to compare them too!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5h6QoedZ9o&t=322s The 360 ending, in Japanese.

INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER:

This part of my post isn’t meant to say which version is superior, but to discuss the choices done that make the lines both similar and different. Please keep this in mind I am saying this as a(n English) Language major thank you and godspeed.

Anyway, let’s put the lines together:

……君こそ僕の誇りだよ。親友 ...I am so proud to call you my friend, Yuri Lowell.

The website I’ve referred to for years by now does not offer a fan translation for the 360 version, but only for PS3 and on. In my experience playing the game in Japanese audio, watching my sibling play it in the dub, studying Japanese, I have found that the only significant times the fan-TL and the localization differ are when translating arte names. (Here is the website https://hyouta.com/vesperia/index.php?version=ps3p&locale=jp&compare=c2)

Some notes: こそ is used to put emphasis after pronouns. だよ is also used to put emphasis too, but in a very informal manner. Flynn typically ends many of his sentences with だ in Japanese, especially when he is speaking casually with Yuri and other party members. He even switches his first person pronoun depending if he’s on duty or not.

(for だよ: https://www.alexrockinjapanese.com/meaning-of-dayo-in-japanese-and-english-how-to-use/, for こそ: https://selftaughtjapanese.com/2015/10/22/japanese-word-koso-%E3%81%93%E3%81%9D-explained-in-detail/)

With my beginner-level Japanese, I will try to offer a translation of the former line, with the help of dictionaries such as https://jisho.org and the above resources to help me parse out a meaning.

“...You are my pride, close friend.” ← where arguably, switching close for the word dear might convey the message better. Frankly speaking, this ended up being the same translation as the one provided by a fluri quote bot that was used on twitter (pay respects for it no longer working).

Now, you might have noticed that I put an emphasis on ‘you’. Well, it’s because Flynn’s wording would be impossible to convey in the translation otherwise.

Let’s compare this and the official English localization! Several elements here are the same. They are marked:

...I am so proud to call you my friend, Yuri Lowell. ← Subject: I, Predicate: am, Complement: to call you. I’m not making the rest of the sentence now as it’s not that important. ...You are my pride, close friend. ← Subject: You, Predicate: are, Direct Object: my pride

So why is the English one so different? I can’t be truly sure, but even with a glance I can say that the syntactic construction is more complex, for one. I am interested in the switch between ‘pride’ and ‘proud’, with the former being a noun, the latter, an adjective.

What I also want to highlight here is that they ARE saying nearly the same thing. With the words ‘pride’ and ‘proud’ being able to be formed from one another, the meaning behind the words are not lost. In fact, when looking up the kanji for pride in the script of Vesperia, it is always translated interchangeably, depending on context.

If I must further simplify Flynn’s words, we get the following:

ENGLISH: I’m proud of my friend JAPANESE: (close) friend is my pride

depending on whether the difference is significant may be subjective.

Let’s determine the reasons /why/ the two versions wind up ultimately different while saying the same thing.

1. This is something my friend Choc pointed out. The possessive adjective. MY FRIEND vs MY PRIDE. When pulled from all context, the Japanese version comes out more intimate. But putting them back in it makes the scale more equal

I am proud + you are my friend = you are my pride + close friend

2. Troubles in translation: 親友 (しんゆう)

This kanji is not easy to translate. I’ve seen posts talking about it used in Naruto, where even there, it is difficult to emphasize the meaning in a translation. Even directly translating it like I did may come off awkward when in English. Translation and localization are one of the hardest parts of offering a Japanese text to non-Japanese speakers. And what can one do when the direct translation fails to impart the word?

You find other words that attempt to impart a similar connotation/meaning. This lies at the core of translation studies. It’s why a translator is REQUIRED to be a good speaker of the source and target language. The capability of having a wide range of vocabulary AS WELL AS being able to use it in the best placements are at the core of what one could consider a good translation. And even then, such a term is very subjective depending on which language speakers you ask. Especially when this comes to languages as different as English and Japanese.

But is 親友 truly lost in translation? I think the average English speaker is still able to infer that Flynn genuinely means his words in regards to Yuri. If not through one word, I think everything else that is said in done in the game is proof enough.

“I am so proud to call you…”

3. Cultural translations and implications

This point arose in further discussion between me and my friend Choc on the topic. Though I have operated with both lines saying they convey the same thing, I have not considered the semantics and cultural aspects of such phrases.

Firstly, Japanese is taught in a way where there is a large emphasis on formality. Most of what is seen in anime/manga/games can be considered at best informal and rude at worst. So it is important to keep such a thing in mind when looking at a Japanese texts. While we can translate something, we also need to understand how intimate it can be read, and subsequently, how would such a sentence come across in English.

“X is my pride” as a phrase is much less common than “I am proud of X”. And, subsequently, a speaker comes to alert if the former would be uttered. Why call someone the noun when you can describe them with the adjective?

This is speculative on my end but, in the case of Flynn’s line, I think it’s perfectly fine to say it’s intimate. That’s the intention! He and Yuri have known each other all their lives, and have been through the roughest parts in their relationship. They already speak informally with each other in Japanese, so such a line should not be too surprising, right?

Well, the perceived issue with using “You are my pride” in the localization could be that its meaning alters when it enters English. Semantically speaking, most English speakers would perceive this as romantically charged in most contexts. Part of it could be due to how direct it is when dissected syntactically, whereas the official localization lengthens the sentence and makes it more complex. In personal experience, many sentence structures I’ve already learned in Japanese are short and direct. Though Flynn’s line breaches intimacy, the structure is not why, but because of “こそ” and “だよ” that I mentioned earlier. Once more, the direct translation would in theory create a miscommunication of intention in the translation.

Ultimately, the most devastating part of Flynn’s line is the fact that Yuri will never be around to witness it. Yes, Flynn is still pretty direct with his feelings, we have that one line before the Aurnion fight, and it seems he can still convey his feelings non-verbally in a fight. But for someone who begins the story as demotivated and depressed, continues on to a point where his self-esteem plunders further, and manages to find what he wants to do while holding certain unhealthy ideas about Flynn (such as putting him on a pedestal, check the conversation with Sodia in Nor), Yuri probably really should hear those words, even if he is allergic to praise or positive affirmations aimed at him.

Ultimately, what can be done as a result is to ponder ideas after the end of the story and hope that Flynn eventually actually uses his words. But who’s to say! What did I do for this? I made edits. This is your reward for making it through my post. Maybe someday I’ll post them separately too.

Thanks for reading. Flynn Scifo is gay

[bibliophilesince2003]

Transformers (Prime) Fan-fiction

Calling all Transformers lovers!

I am back with fresh new fan-fiction ideas on Wattpad, as Keeper's Arena (a Star Wars Bad Batch fan-fiction) is thriving and I can't do more with it other than the occasional grammatical edit. In fact, I have already started book two of Keeper's Arena.

But enough of that, as my other project is writing a Transformers fan-fiction; something I was inspired to do after re-watching all the movies and Transformers Prime.

If you're familiar with my writing, you'll know my stories are very plot-driven. Yes, I insert a new plot between episodes or scenes of a show or movie that already exists, perhaps even shake things up a bit. I have very unique, original characters with their own background, personality, and beliefs. I strive for new ideas that still make sense within already established lore.

In this Transformers (Prime) fan-fiction, I have a unique main character, but of course... you've seen that before. I also came up with a unique autobot. He is not young and spry, but old and cautious. He is tough, but suffered severe damage and is partially blind. The humorous, easy-going, and strong bond between Warren and Eliza are one of my favorite things to write in this story. I will put it to the test, though, as tensions rise.

Oh, that's another thing about my writing. Raw, realistic details with a light sprinkle of fluff. I find the lighter and less frequent fluff is, the more satisfying it is. Am I influenced by my favorite dystopian books? Probably. I like books that do more than just entertain, and I strive to write those kind of books.

If you are a Transformers fan, especially a Transformers Prime fan, I think you may enjoy my story.

As I mentioned before, this story can be located on Wattpad. I have the same username - BibliophileSince2003 - and avatar. Not only that, but I will provide a link. I will post a new chapter weekly, if not more, unless my college load is too much.

Not sure what to think of it? Here's the summary:

Warren crash-landed on earth, an autobot loner and survivor from Cybertron during the war. Before Optimus Prime and his team arrived, earth was his home for over twenty years. With a mysterious past and a harsh demeanor, all while being partially blind, Warren hadn't expected help from a man who treated his injuries.

That man and his wife gave birth to a daughter, Eliza, and she and Warren formed an unlikely friendship.

Picking up her military father's skill of engineering and vehicle work, Eliza tends to Warren's various functions, and she in turn learns things from him. They have lived in peace for many years, but strange happenings torment Eliza's curiosity, and Warren finds himself facing old foes and familiar faces. Safety is compromised, and Eliza is met with a choice; how much good could she really do? Or... will it lead to disaster?