#yes this is about the og enterprise crew

[adamantiumspy]

hey fam, just checking in is it normal to miss fictional characters? like feel a deep yearning in my belly for their company? or should i see someone about that?

[meilas]

Socks’ Star Trek must-watch list

Socks’ list of must-watch Trek episodes

OG Trek

Welcome to the NCC-1701 starship, known as the Enterprise. The captain and crew follow rules when the plot says so, the captain is often on away missions with his top-ranked crew members leaving some unqualified guy in charge, and the captain gets to snog a lot of ladies. Like, a lot. Seriously. This series features lots of questionable fashion choices, including men’s heeled boots and miniskirts. 

Space Seed - our introduction to Khan Noonien Singh, played by Ricardo Montalban. Khan is the villain of the second Trek movie Wrath of Khan which is why this episode is on the list.

Taste of Armageddon - Do you remember the game Battleship? Two planets wage a war against each other. There is staggering loss of life, but no destruction. The Lottery in Space.

Mirror, Mirror - obligatory parallel universe episode! This parallel universe shows up later in Deep Space Nine which is why it is on this list.

Trouble With Tribbles - Clue in Space. Just a fun episode. Also shows up in Deep Space Nine!

A Piece of the Action - another fun episode. And the reason I don’t know if the proper expression is concrete galoshes or cement overshoes.

Let That Be Your Last Battlefield - two individuals who are the very last members of their races who were at war are still trying to kill each other. This episode was about racism and it is not subtle about it at all.

Next Generation

Welcome to the NCC-1701D, also known as the Enterprise! Not the Enterprise from the original series, but a younger, more advanced starship that is the successor to the Enterprise name. And since the Enterprise and trouble go so well together, the crew of this Enterprise find lots of adventures to keep them busy as they explore strange new worlds and seek out new civilisations.

Encounter at Farpoint - The very first episode. Not great, but it also serves as an introduction to Q, who will show up several times throughout the series. So that I don’t fill up this whole post, just go ahead and watch every Q episode (which will 99% of the time have Q in the title.)

Measure of a Man - Data is put on trial to determine if he is property or his own person, and Riker is forced to testify against him for plot reasons. This episode explores individuality and friendship.

Q Who - I said I wouldn’t fill this up and I won’t, but this episode is special because it introduces the Borg. There’s also a great moment between Picard and Q toward the end.

The Survivors - An elderly couple are the last survivors on a planet. Hard to explain why I like this episode without giving away the whole plot.

Sarek - This episode can be pretty sad as it deals with dementia and what it can do to people.

Menage a Troi - Any episode with Deanna’s mother, Lwaxana, is always a funny one. (Except the one that is sad, more on that later.) This episode is excellent because we get to hear Sir Patrick Stewart recite Shakespeare in the most over-the-top delivery possible.

Best of Both Worlds, parts one and two - THE CLIFFHANGER TO END ALL CLIFFHANGERS HOLY SHIT THIS EPISODE HAS ALL THE DRAMA

Family - A follow-up to Best of Both Worlds. Deals with family that is gone, family that can be A Bit Much, and family that is estranged.

Suddenly Human - This episode is similar to the Deep Space Nine episode Cardassians: a boy who has been adopted by others is discovered and found to have living family who want him back. Which family is the child supposed to stay with?

Darmok - An episode all about language and how ideas are communicated. Yes it has some flaws, but overall it is interesting from a linguistic point of view. By the end of the episode, you will understand how darmok=memes and inside jokes.

The First Duty - A good Wesley episode. This explores truth, loyalty, and doing what is right.

I, Borg - The Enterprise rescues a Borg teenager, who begins to develop individuality. He is named Hugh. Hugh is adorable.

The Inner Light - THIS IS THE BEST EPISODE EVER. IF THERE IS LITERALLY NOTHING ON THIS LIST THAT SOUNDS INTERESTING PLEASE AT LEAST WATCH THIS.

Rascals - Picard and a few other randos (no seriously why is this bunch of people even on a shuttle together?) experience a transporter malfunction and are beamed aboard the Enterprise, except they materialise as pre-teen children! This episode is just pure fun. Contains: bby!Picard throwing a tantrum, and bby!Guinan jumping on the bed.

*Frame of Mind - This is a pretty heavy episode that deals with hallucinations. Riker is supposed to be performing in a play, but suddenly he’s in an alien mental institution and accused of murder. Riker repeatedly flashes between being on the Enterprise and being in the institution and he increasingly cannot tell which is real.

*Technically, this episode does not contain gaslighting even though it will seem like it. Please make sure you are in a good place if you decide to watch this episode.

**Dark Page - Lwaxana Troi is back! But something is up with her.

**I can’t explain why this is a serious episode without giving it away, so here it is: this episode deals with child death.

Deep Space Nine

By far my absolute favourite series, and the only one I have seen every episode of. Deep Space Nine is about a Cardassian space station that is now occupied by joint Federation and Bajoran forces. Deep Space Nine just so happens to be situated right by a stable wormhole that goes to another quadrant of space that would take years and years and years to travel to by starship alone. Naturally, everyone wants to be in control of the wormhole. The closest planet, Bajor, was until recently occupied by Cardassians. (Think of Cardassians as Space Russians.) The Bajorans are deeply spiritual people (literally every fucking Bajoran subscribes to the same religion) and they believe that their gods reside in the wormhole. (THEY ARE WORMHOLE ALIENS FFS AND THEY DON’T CARE ONE BIT ABOUT BAJOR OR CARDASSIA OR THE FEDERATION.) Because this series is set on a space station that does not go anywhere, we get to see that actions have consequences. If Next Generation was the fuck around series, this one is the find out series.

Emissary - A two-parter and our introduction to Deep Space Nine and the majority of the major characters in this show. 

Past Prologue - This episode is important because we meet Garak, a tailor and the only Cardassian still living on the station. What could he possibly be doing here?

Duet - A Cardassian arrives at the station, as they often do, but this one seems to be hiding something. This explores topics of colonialism, genocide, terrorism, and how complicated people really are. This was one of the episodes that made me watch the entirety of DS9. (The other was Take Me Out to the Holosuite.)

Cardassians - Another Garak episode. This one has a similar plot to the Next Generation episode Suddenly Human. Garak and Bashir discover a Cardassian boy is the adopted son of a Bajoran man. But since Bajorans and Cardassians kind of hate each other because Cardassions tried to colonize Bajor, there is a concern that the Cardassian boy is being abused by his adopted father. To make matters worse, Gul Dukat gets involved. (Gul Dukat is played by a native Wisconsinite!)

Shadowplay - Kind of similar to the Next Generation episode Survivors.

The Wire - Garak episode! This episode deals with the topic of addiction and friendship.

Second Skin - Kira might actually be an undercover Cardassian agent?!?

Crossover - Welcome back to the mirror universe, which we haven't seen since the OG series. Here we find out what happened after Kirk left that universe. Told you this was the 'find out' series.

Fascination - A fun Lwaxana episode

Past Tense, parts one and two - Time travel episode! This episode takes place August 30-September 1, 2024. The Bell Riots occurred in San Francisco, and were a turning point in earth history. These are pretty heavy episodes, and they deal with things that still resonate today: poverty, racism, classism, homelessness.

The Visitor - Similar vibes to The Inner Light. Sisko jumps through time at increasing intervals. Meanwhile, Jake lives his life with his father literally popping into existance for a short time only. Jake is older every time. Sisko is not.

Trials and Tribble-ations - The 'find out' episode to OG Trek's Trouble With Tribbles. This is just a really cool episode that blends footage from OG Trek with DS9.

Things Past - An interesting episode where some of the crew wake up in the bodies of people living on the station during the Cardassian occupation.

Ties of Blood and Water - Kira's Cardassian "father" (the guy from Second Skin) arrives on the station.

In the Cards - Jake and Nog do increasingly weird tasks in their quest to obtain a baseball card for Jake's father. Oh and that bitch Kai Winn is there too.

Statistical Probabilities - This episode introduces the Jack Pack! They're a bunch of genetically altered humans, just like Bashir! Oh, and they are extremely neurodivergent and would probably be tons of fun to hang out with.

Far Beyond the Stars - The crew, but what if they were science fiction writers in the 50s? Deals with the topic of racism.

In the Pale Moonlight - How far is Sisko willing to go to get the Romulans to join the war against the Dominion?

Take Me Out to the Holosuite - One of DS9's obligatory holosuite episodes. A Vulcan that Sisko knows shows up and in a very un-Vulcan-like manner boasts to Sisko that he and his crew are superior beings who have been trying Sisko's favorite sport and just absolutely crushing it. Sisko challenges him to a baseball game. The only problem is that most of his crew are not human and have never played baseball before.

Chrysalis - Have you ever read Flowers for Algernon? The Jack Pack returns.

[itsoveranakin-ihavethehighground]

Those old scientists getting off strong with boims and mariner

Ok they said the episode name

I love the animation, it's brilliant

The portal is glowing

Boims is gone

OH MY FUCKING GOD ITS JACK QUAD AS BOIMLER IN LIVE ACTION

I knew this was coming, why am I suprised lol

ALSO

Number One is hot as fuck

Animated intro for the win

(Side note, pay your writers, actors, and animators!)

Is that a koala?

I like Boimler's purple hair

His reaction to Una is fantastic

And to Uhura

Spock's laugh is adorable

Also Boimler's reaction to the bridge

Chapel and Ortegas sitting on either side of Boims and him being so cute

He's so adorable

Spock's smiling freaking Boimler out is fantastic

HE'S CRYING BECAUSE HE MADE CHAPEL SAD

They look like kids being told to stand in the corner omg

Boimler just listing all the best parts about Pike and his little smile

Number one is just perfection

Boimler's little speech is so cute

MARINER!!!!

FUCK YEAH!!!!

Her love for Uhura is pretty gay ngl

Young Spock is Hot Mariner, you're correct

Mariner is brilliant

"How much more damage could this do at this point?"

Famous large words Pike

The ominous music when Spock laughs I'm dying

THE POSTER

"Like a pin up poster?!?"

UHURA AND MARINER ARE THE FUCKING BEST

I think Mariner and Ortegas deserve to hook up at least once

ERICA IS BRILLIANT

Boims and Spock working together is everything to me

Jack Quaid is the fucking best

Pelia is awesome

I've realised half of this is just me saying that people are cool

Which they are.

Boims wants to be a hero omg

La'an being the absolute unit she is and finding them

Pike giving the disappointed dad speech

the Jawline

"I love grapplers"

The Enterprise crew fanning over og og Enterprise.

Number One remaining the coolest ever

Yes queen pop off

Orion scientists for the win

T.O.S. standing for Those Old Scientists

Ad Astra Per Aspera

ANIMATED SNW

"Do my eyes look huge?"

M'Benga!!!

And that's it for today folks

[kcscribbler]

3, 5 and 29 for the writer asks, please!

Ooh, fun! Thank you, anon!

Full Ask List Here

3. What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

However Improbable, my Star Trek TOS/ACD Sherlock Holmes crossover written for NaNoWriMo a loooooong time ago.

It was my very first TOS fic (why I chose to do a novel-length crossover as my initiation is anyone's guess), and to this day is still probably the most fun I've had writing anything. I'd like to think I balanced the characterization of both universes fairly well, but the reader is the judge.

Crossovers can be tricky, and they're not for everyone, but I had far too much fun with this one. I will always remember it fondly.

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

At one point, I had a Star Trek TOS Alternate Universe series plotted out based on the OG Mission Impossible television show (from the same general time period as TOS, and as fabulous in its own way). The show actually featured Leonard Nimoy for two of the seasons, and it's generally delightful. Much more so than the big-budget films of the same franchise, in my humble opinion. 8/10, would recommend.

(Plot under the cut)

If I remember correctly, the AU started on the premise of Operation-Annihilate going badly wrong (an idea which later morphed into An Equitable Trade, FWIW), whereupon Jim Kirk was quietly discharged from Starfleet service in the ensuing scandal, and Spock basically said live long and fuck off with that and followed him. In this AU, the rest of the crew weren't originally aboard the Enterprise, and were picked up along the way through the ensuing ridiculous adventures across the galaxy, per typical MI format.

I actually had one 'episode' partially written a long time ago, before I got smart enough to back things up online, and lost it in a laptop crash. RIP my most ridiculous idea.

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

This was cut last month from one of my Whumptober fics, as I decided to go a couple different directions with the TOS movie era instead.

“What on earth are you doing.”

Seated on the couch with at least a dozen takeout containers of various shapes and sizes stacked in perfectly neat, consistently spaced rows on the coffee table, Spock raises an eyebrow at him. “It was indeed, on Earth. During our recent sojourn in the Terran past, you informed Dr. Taylor that I found Italian food to be pleasing.”

“…Yes? Is that why you ordered what looks like the entire vegetarian menu from Angelo’s?”

“I must have a full data set in order to confirm a valid hypothesis.”

“Of course.” He doesn’t even bother to hide a smile. “But your face tells me it hasn’t been confirmed.”

“Correct.” Spock looks mildly uneasy about this discrepancy, though he indicates the barely-touched cartons with what looks like resignation. “I admit to feeling a slight sense of disillusionment, in the matter. It would seem that either you were in error, or that my taste for such things has changed during the process of my refusion.”

Jim’s too tired to do this standing up, right now, so he clambers over a hilariously untidy stack of of cartons on the rug (clearly overflow from the table) in order to collapse on the couch as well, exhaling in a long breath of relief at being able to get off his feet for a few minutes.

“I mean, it’s certainly possible your tastes have changed, Spock. But I think it’s more likely that you just haven’t got the right dishes.”

“How precisely is one to know which are ‘right’.”

Jim turns his head, still resting on the back of the couch, and gestures at the pile of cartons. “You like Italian, typically pasta; but you dislike strong garlic flavor. Since garlic is pretty ubiquitous in Italian food, when we order in or go out, we typically ask them to make yours without much of it.”

“Ah.”

“Angelo’s has a pumpkin ravioli this time of year that you refuse to admit is your favorite, because favorites are illogical.”

“I did not see this option on the menu.”

“That’s because since it’s seasonal, it’s not on the carryout menu,” he replies. “You’ve complained more than once about having to call and actually talk to someone to order it, instead of using the automated system.”

“I did not recall that detail with any clarity,” Spock admits, looking more downcast than before.

He reaches over to put a steadying hand on Spock’s arm. “You’ve recalled nearly every detail that is important; we can deal with the rest. That’s what I’m here for,” he says quietly.

“I have taken enough advantage of your patience in the matter.”

“Incorrect. You’ve never taken advantage of me or anyone else, that I can recall. I’m not sure it’s even in your nature.”

“That appears to be a highly subjective assessment fueled by an emotional viewpoint.”

“Well, I am an emotional human. So that viewpoint is logical for me.” Seeing Spock’s clearly baffled expression, he hastens to add, “But from the Vulcan viewpoint: I do have all my memories, so I think my opinion should be trusted more than yours in the matter.”

Spock considers this for a moment, and then nods. “That is eminently logical.”

[nuclearr-wessels]

.☆ — STAR TREK FANCAST: Crew Of The Enterprise-D — ☆*

my thoughts on each reboot role under the cut ♡

.

My favourite bald man™ Stanley Tucci would be Picard. Kind eyes, very organic acting. I’d totally buy him being an archeology nerd. And a captain, of course. His chemistry with Colin Firth in “Supernova” was so amazing I’d cast Firth as Q. The man always puts 110% into everything he’s in… Just think of Mamma Mia. He’d be such a fun Q

I’ve gushed about Jason Momoa and Regé-Jean Page as Worf and Riker before. You can read more about them in this older post of mine (including artwork by @punkbxt!!)

My girlfriend Pom Klementieff has experience playing an elegant empathic alien with beautiful black eyes so hey. Piece of cake. Also a great opportunity to have another variation of Troi’s accent AND some more physical action for her. Let her be the badass she can be!

Isla Fisher as Doctor Crusher because she’d make for an incredibly cute Beverly, while also pulling off the necessary assertiveness of the role. Maybe even let her keep her Aussie accent please? And yes, she’s very short, but my Geordi isn’t, so let’s have her as the ship’s tiny™

Geordi La Forge was a tough one bc he’s one of my ultimate comfort characters. (As a child I went around repeating his name just because of its beautiful sound. I had no idea about Trek yet at all lol) Anyway Michael B. Jordan usually gets cast in ‘tough guy’ roles but you know what? Everything is right here. Charming smile, husky voice, the range. Give him the VISOR, put him in a soft uniform and boom. Friend-shaped engineer of my dreams.

Data’s cast is similarly self-indulgent. You might know Felicity Jones from “Rogue One” or “Northanger Abbey”, where she plays naïve (and kinda stupid) dreamer Catherine Morland – she’d be a perfect Data. Could also be an especially crazy Lore and a whimsical Doctor Soong. Everything fits. Data’s quasi-romantic friendship with Geordi would be very cute to watch with her and Michael B. Jordan imo ♡

Moving on with Kristen Stewart as Tasha Yar, security chief of my dreams. Her Tasha would be more along the lines of her character in “Charlie’s Angels” I feel. A bit more chaotic energy than OG Tasha was ever allowed in her one season.

And, last but not least, Dev Patel as Reg Barclay because I Like It. Favourite actor for a favourite role. Dev plays amazing nervous wrecks and is just overall a joy to watch. He clearly should’ve been Khan in the AOS movies but hey. If no one wants him he’ll be my Broccoli and they’ll have to deal with it.

(Whoopi Goldberg will return as Guinan because as if I’d recast her lmao)

[scarletmanuka]

Stolen from @thisbluespirit

Also, hello to random.org, which I use to help me pick out my recycled challenges for @sentinelthursday

Go to the following website https://www.random.org/lists/ and type in 15 different characters from any Fandom (they can be in the same fandom). Then it will give you an order, after shuffling the characters. You must answer the following in the order they give you!

Fandoms: The Sentinel, The Magnus Archives, Star Trek TOS, Star Trek DS9, Sapphire and Steel, Maiden Rose

Your rival: Simon Banks. Well, I think that he's my rival, but I am certainly not his, and I get my metaphorical ass handed to me with finesse, and possibly even courtesy depending on just how pathetic my source of rivalry is.

Played Seven Minutes in Heaven With: Gertrude Robinson, huh? I will have an interesting conversation with her that hopefully won't involve me telling anyone about any eldritch scary experiences I've had. (My daughter had to explain Seven Minutes in Heaven to me. I lived my teens and young adulthood in the Before Times.)

Your boyfriend/girlfriend: Elim Garak. Yes please, until he either leaves me, interrogates, or kills me, all for the greater good of Cardassia. I'm sure everything will done with aplomb and competency.

My mom/dad: Martin Blackwood. Ya know, I think I would probably be okay with Martin as a parent. He'd be responsible and affectionate, and I'd blame him for the anxiety thing and we could be avoidant about our issues together comfortably. I would write better poetry though. Barely. Just so long as it's Somewhere Else and not OG Magnus Verse.

The random person you meet at a bar: Spock. Oh, god that will be, pardon me, the most fascinating barroom discussion of my life.

Your boss: James Kirk. Well, I'm one hundred percent positive he'll bring out the best in me. Otoh, if I'm on the Enterprise, I have a suspicion I'm one of those crew members who gets to pathetically die to make sure the audience knows that shit just got real.

Haunts you: Jon Sims. Painfully likely, please no really nasty eldritch experiences.

Drunk Singing Karaoke with: Taki Reizen. Okay, my brain is broken at this one. Klaus, yes, I could see that, but Taki? I will sing (badly) and he will sit and look at me politely and encouragingly from the audience.

Gave you your favourite dessert: Blair Sandburg. Boy can cook, is canonically good natured, we're both chatty, he can sit down with me and share it, we're all good, yeah.

Your sibling: Julian Bashir. Oh my, I think I'd quite like to have Julian as a brother, but OMG - I would certainly give his parents a taste of what it's like to have an 'ordinary' kid. Am I the older or younger sibling - Alexander Siddig is about the same age as my real life brother, so I'd probably have childishly doted on Jules while trying to be proud and not hugely envious of post-Adidgeon Prime Julian.

Gave you your first kiss: Steel. Well, Steel was one of my adolescent crushes, but I cannot imagine why he'd want to, or that the circumstances would be particularly propitious.

Your best friend: Alex Barnes. This will be one of those toxic friendships, I think. I will greatly admire her because she'll be gorgeous and on her best behaviour - until she very much isn't.

Grandma/Grandpa: Jim Ellison. Could be worse, if not my personal ideal if youknowhutimean? Jim would probably be a fun grandad - a bit demanding sometimes, but I expect he gives good grandad hugs.

Proposed to You: Sapphire. As with Steel, I cannot imagine why, but the temptation to say yes is strong.

Your ex: Klaus von Wolfstadt. Klaus is very intense, and I couldn't give him what he wants, so it's probably for the best, but it would have been a wild and dreamy ride for a while there. I do hope to keep Claudia as a friend though.

[aion-rsa]

The Star Trek: The Original Series Episodes That Best Define the Franchise

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

By the time my generation got to watch Star Trek: The Original Series, the episodes often were being presented in top-ten marathons. When I was ten-years-old, for the 25th Anniversary of Star Trek, I tape-recorded a marathon of ten episodes that had all been voted by fans as the best-ever installments of The Original Series. Later, I got lucky and found Trek stickers at the grocery store and was able to label my VHS tapes correctly. But do I think all the episodes that were in that marathon back in 1991 were really the best episodes of all of the classic Star Trek? The short answer: no. Although I love nearly every episode of the first 79 installments of Star Trek, I do think that certain lists have been created by what we think should be on the list rather than what episodes really best represent the classic show. 

This is a long-winded way of saying, no, I didn’t include “Amok Time” or “The Menagerie” on this list because, as great as they are, I don’t think they really represent the greatest hits of the series. Also, if you’ve never watched TOS, I think those two episodes will throw you off cause you’ll assume Spock is always losing his mind or trying to steal the ship. If you’ve never watched TOS, or you feel like rewatching it with fresh eyes, I feel pretty strong that these 10 episodes are not only wonderful, but that they best represent what the entire series is really about. Given this metric, my choice for the best episode of TOS may surprise you…

10. “The Man Trap” 

The first Star Trek ever episode aired should not be the first episode you watch. And yet, you should watch it at some point. The goofy premise concerns an alien with shaggy dog fur, suckers on its hand, and a face like a terrifying deep-sea fish. This alien is also a salt vampire that uses telepathy that effectively also makes it a shapeshifter. It’s all so specifically bonkers that trying to rip-off this trope would be nuts. Written by science fiction legend George Clayton Johnson (one half of Logan’s Run authorship) “The Man Trap” still slaps, and not because Spock (Leonard Nimoy)  tries to slap the alien. Back in the early Season 1 episodes of Star Trek, the “supporting” players like Uhura and Sulu are actually doing stuff in the episode. We all talk about Kirk crying out in pain when the M-113 creature puts those suckers on his face, but the real scene to watch is when Uhura starts speaking Swahili. The casual way Uhura and Sulu are just their lovable selves in this episode is part of why we just can’t quit the classic Star Trek to this day. Plus, the fact that the story is technically centered on Bones gives the episode some gravitas and oomph. You will believe an old country doctor thinks that salt vampire is Nancy! (Spoiler alert: It’s not Nancy.)

9. “Let that Be Your Last Battlefield” 

There are two episodes everyone always likes to bring up when discussing the ways in which Star Trek changed the game for the better in pop culture’s discourse on racism: “Plato’s Stepchildren” and this episode, “Let that Be Your Last Battlefield.” The former episode is famous because Kirk and Uhura kiss, which is sometimes considered the first interracial kiss on an American TV show. (British TV shows had a few of those before Star Trek, though.) But “Plato’s Stepchildren” is not a great episode, and Kirk and Uhura were also manipulated to kiss by telepaths. So, no, I’m not crazy about “Plato’s Stepchildren.” Uhura being forced to kiss a white dude isn’t great.

But “Let that Be Your Last Battlefield,” oddly holds up. Yep. This is the one about space racism where the Riddler from the ‘60s Batman (Frank Gorshin) looks like a black-and-white cookie. Is this episode cheesy? Is it hard to take most of it seriously? Is it weird that Bele (Frank Gorshin) didn’t have a spaceship because the budget was so low at that time? Yes. Is the entire episode dated, and sometimes borderline offensive even though its heart is in the right place? Yes. Does the ending of the episode still work? You bet it does. If you’re going to watch OG Star Trek and skip this episode, you’re kind of missing out on just how charmingly heavy-handed the series could get. “Let that Be Your Last Battlefield” is like a ‘60s after-school special about racism, but they were high while they were writing it.

8. “Arena”

You’re gonna try to list the best episodes of Star Trek: The Original Series and not list the episode where Kirk fights a lizard wearing gold dress-tunic? The most amazing thing about “Arena” is that it’s a Season 1 episode of The Original Series and somehow everyone involved in making TOS had enough restraint not to ever try to use this Gorn costume again. They didn’t throw it away either! This famous rubber lizard was built by Wah Chang and is currently owned by none other than Ben Stiller.

So, here’s the thing about “Arena” that makes it a great episode of Star Trek, or any TV series with a lizard person. Kirk refuses to kill the Gorn even though he could have, and Star Trek refused to put a lizard costume in a bunch of episodes later, even though they totally could have. Gold stars all around.

7. “Balance of Terror”

The fact that Star Trek managed to introduce a race of aliens that looked exactly like Spock, and not confuse its viewership is amazing. On top of that, the fact that this detail isn’t exactly the entire focus of the episode is equally impressive. The notion that the Romulans look like Vulcans is a great twist in The Original Series, and decades upon decades of seeing Romulans has probably dulled the novelty ever so slightly. But, the idea that there was a brutally cold and efficient version of the Vulcans flying around in invisible ships blowing shit up is not only cool, but smart.

“Balance of Terror” made the Romulans the best villains of Star Trek because their villainy felt personal. Most Romulan stories in TNG, DS9, and Picard are pretty damn good and they all start right here.

6. “Space Seed”

Khaaaan!!!! Although The Wrath of Khan is infinitely more famous than the episode from which it came, “Space Seed” is one of the best episodes of The Original Series even if it hadn’t been the progenitor of that famous film. In this episode, the worst human villain the Enterprise can encounter doesn’t come from the present, but instead, the past. Even though “Space Seed” isn’t considered a very thoughtful episode and Khan is a straight-up gaslighter, the larger point here is that Khan’s evilness is connected to the fact that he lived on a version of Earth closer to our own.

The episode’s coda is also amazing and speaks of just how interesting Captain Kirk really is. After Khan beat the shit out of him and tried to suffocate the entire Enterprise crew, Kirk’s like “Yeah, this guy just needs a long camping trip.” 

5. “A Piece of the Action”

A few years back, Saturday Night Live did a Star Trek sketch in which it was revealed that Spock had a relative named “Spocko.” This sketch was tragically unfunny because TOS had already made the “Spocko” joke a million times better in “A Piece of the Action.” When you describe the premise of this episode to someone who has never seen it or even heard of it, it sounds like you’re making it up. Kirk, Spock, and Bones are tasked with cleaning-up a planet full of old-timey mobsters who use phrases like “put the bag on you.” Not only is the episode hilarious, but it also demonstrates the range of what Star Trek can do as an emerging type of pop-art. In “A Piece of the Action,” Star Trek begins asking questions about genres that nobody ever dreamed of before. Such as, “what if we did an old-timey gangster movie, but there’s a spaceship involved?”

4. “Devil in the Dark”

When I was a kid, my sister and I called this episode, “the one with giant pizza.” Today, it’s one of those episodes of Star Trek that people tell you defines the entire franchise. They’re not wrong, particularly because we’re just talking about The Original Series. The legacy of this episode is beyond brilliant and set-up a wonderful tradition within the rest of the franchise; a monster story is almost never a monster story

The ending of this episode is so good, and Leonard Nimoy and Shatner play the final scenes so well that I’m actually not sure it’s cool to reveal what the big twist is. If you somehow don’t know, I’ll just say this. You can’t imagine Chris Pratt’s friendly Velicrapotrs, or Ripper on Discovery without the Horta getting their first.

3. “The Corbomite Maneuver” 

If there’s one episode on this list that truly represents what Star Trek is usually all about on a plot level, it’s this one. After the first two pilot episodes —“Where No Man Has Gone Before” and “The Cage”—this was the first regular episode filmed. It’s the first episode with Uhura and, in almost every single way, a great way to actually explain who all these characters are and what the hell they’re doing. The episode begins with Spock saying something is “fascinating” and then, after the opening credits, calling Kirk, who is down in sickbay with his shirt off. Bones gives Kirk shit about not having done his physical in a while, and Kirk wanders through the halls of the episode without his shirt, just kind of holding his boots. 

That’s just the first like 5 minutes. It just gets better and better from there. Like a good bottle of tranya, this episode only improves with time. And if you think it’s cheesy and the big reveal bizarre, then I’m going to say, you’re not going to like the rest of Star Trek. 

2. “The City on the Edge of Forever”

No more blah blah blah! Sorry, wrong episode. Still, you’ve heard about “The City on the Edge of Forever.” You’ve heard it’s a great time travel episode. You’ve heard Harlan Ellison was pissed about how the script turned out. You heard that Ron Moore really wanted to bring back Edith Keeler for Star Trek Generations. (Okay, maybe you haven’t heard that, but he did.)

Everything you’ve heard about this episode is correct. There’s some stuff that will make any sensible person roll their eyes today, but the overall feeling of this episode is unparalleled. Time travel stories are always popular, but Star Trek has never really done a time travel story this good ever again. The edge of forever will always be just out of reach.

1. “A Taste of Armageddon”

Plot twist! This excellent episode of TOS almost never makes it on top ten lists. Until now! If you blink, “A Taste of Armageddon” could resemble at least a dozen other episodes of TOS. Kirk and Spock are trapped without their communicators. The crew has to overpower some guards to get to some central computer hub and blow it up. Scotty is in command with Kirk on the surface and is just kind of scowling the whole time. Kirk is giving big speeches about how humanity is great because it’s so deeply flawed.

What makes this episode fantastic is that all of these elements come together thanks to a simplistic science fiction premise: What if a society eliminated violence but retained murder? What if hatred was still encouraged, but war was automated? Star Trek’s best moments were often direct allegories about things that were actually happening, but what makes “A Taste of Armageddon” so great is that this metaphor reached for something that could happen. Kirk’s solution to this problem is a non-solution, which makes the episode even better. At its best classic Star Trek wasn’t just presenting a social problem and then telling us how to fix it. Sometimes it was saying something more interesting — what if the problem gets even harder? What do we do then? 

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The humor and bombast of “A Taste of Armageddon” is part of the answer to that unspoken question, but there’s also a clever lesson about making smaller philosophical decisions. In Star Wars, people are always trying to rid themselves of the dark side of the Force. In Star Trek, Kirk just teaches us to say, “Hey I won’t be a terrible person, today” and then just see how many days we can go in a row being like that.

What do you think are the most franchise-defining episodes of Star Trek: The Original Series? Let us know in the comments below.

The post The Star Trek: The Original Series Episodes That Best Define the Franchise appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[occhiolismatic]

Mafia! Tony

An anon asked me about my thoughts and contributions to Mafia! Tony, sooo here we go, and he’s a long boy, which is why I decided to make this a post rather than an answer. 

Hi, yes. I’ve seen all of the mafia au content going around, and I fuck with it mad hard. So I can most definitely see Tony as an east coast mafia leader with connections all across the nation, underground networks for weapons manufacturing, and certainly organized crime for profit off such artillery. He’s literally the godfather, the don, the OG when it comes to illegal activity; run ins with the law are nothing, and the Stark enterprise absolutely doesn’t back down from keeping men silent. More specifically, Tony doesn’t back down from keeping men silent. He’s worked too hard, put too much effort into the family to have it come crashing down, and, when he stumbles upon Peter, the innocent, young male whom of which accidentally winds up in the middle of a weapons exchange, that’s why he takes him in, makes him keep Tony’s little secret on the down low. Peter’s got nothing. He’s bullied in school, kicked to the curb like dust. He doesn’t have much to his name, and all of his relatives are missing or have assets in other parts of the world, all except for New York. Peter’s by himself, and one day he’s just not having the bullying anymore, so he stands up to the pinching, the hitting and spitting, the gum in his hair and all. He’s corned in the library bathroom after hours, probably out late to work on an assignment, but he’s also blocked by the four who constantly pester him, call him Penis Parker, flush his face and shove him around like a rag doll. Bruises scatter his body from last week’s beating, and after being kicked in the shin, he tumbles forward, throwing and landing a punch on the main bully.

After that, surely the guy would do the stereotypical palm touch over the lip to wipe off the newly drawn blood that spills. He’d be surprised by Peter’s newfound confidence, and then Peter would book it, run out of there, leave the building, his backpack half open and jacket flapping as he runs away. The bullies would follow after him, and Peter might look over his shoulder as he darts into traffic, the city lights overwhelming his eyes as they try to adjust to the dark, but his sneakers scuff on the pavement and he can’t run forever. Maybe he trips and crawls into an alleyway, perhaps he just rounds the corner, his back pressed against the brick wall or the other side of a trashcan and waits for the bullies to pass by. That or maybe the boys follow him into the alley and immediately scurry. They bolt out of there, and Peter thinks he did something right, that he scared them away or frightened them in some nonexistent astral plane, but he’s wrong. Peter doesn’t realize that he just so happened to have run into the wrong alley. Of course it happens to him, to Peter Parker of all people, that he walks right into the middle of a weapons exchange. So the boys leave, and Peter gathers his breath, legs heavy, and he goes to turn around, take the alley to the back just in case his tormentors are waiting for him on the sidewalk, and right as he opens his eyes, right after readjusting his backpack straps and mentally preparing himself to go home, that’s when he quite literally bumps into mafia boss Tony Stark.

His nose pats Tony’s suit jacket, all black of course, and he’s wearing sunglasses at night, y’know because it’s his brand, and Peter stumbles backwards, hands raised because holy fucking shit this is shady as fuck. He doesn’t know what’s happening, why there’s a really attractive man in expensive looking clothing standing in a rundown alleyway, not to mention he’s accompanied by a crew of at least 5 or 6 men, bulky and strong in build, all surrounding a decked out Escalade whose windows are tinted and trunk is open. In it, stacked on top of one another, are cases and cases of artillery, weapons, guns, bombs, anything you can image that can’t possibly be bought over the counter, it was there and could be sold under the market by Tony. So you know, Peter starts stammering, and he’s terrified.

“Uh-um-“ he says, smiling sheepishly, hand raising to scratch the back of his neck as he slowly backs away. He attempts to to go, but Tony snaps and a couple of his men move behind Peter, preventing the kid from leaving, stopping him from spilling any information about the exchange. And Tony just stares at him, shifting his weight and folding his arms across his chest. He chews on the insides of his mouth because damn, he can’t hurt a kid, but he also can’t let the boy leave. Yeah Tony utilizes violence and isn’t afraid of causing damage, taking lives or supplying others with the means to do so, but the boy is cute. Silence filling the atmosphere, head tilted to the side, Tony clicks his tongue before speaking, and when he does, Peter nearly flies from his skin: “You’re a pretty kid, and I’d really, really hate to bruise that fine face of yours.”

Peter sniffles and continues back tracking until one of Tony’s brutes lays a hand on his shoulder, forcing him forward, but of course Peter struggles and fights back, shrugging off the palm, kicking when another man comes for him as well, and Peter raises his voice all h-hey! get your hands off me, all the while Tony trails after him, taking strategic, slow steps with his hands buried in his pockets. So Peter’s freaking out because these men are holding him, and Tony doesn’t like the image, his crew handling the kid before him, and although it’s nice to watch the pretty boy scuffle, Tony cuts in, slapping the men off Peter, “That’s enough.”

Taking the boy’s face in his grip, pushing his cheeks in a little bit, Peter can’t deny that he’s slightly attracted to the older man, his scent, his cologne and physique, and at the same time, this man is the very man who, seconds ago, just referred to Peter as both pretty and fine. Peter probably pees himself a little when he is forced into eye contact, when Tony ducks his dark shades down just enough for Peter to catch a glimpse of his stern expression. Tony’s serious about this ordeal, about the business, and one kid isn’t about to tear it down by revealing any classified information to the public, to the police, the feds.

“I-I’m sorry- It just, I mean- I was just,” Peter points behind himself, leaning backwards away from Tony’s face, “It was an accident, I didn’t mean to-” and Tony absolutely wants to comment about how this kid isn’t the one they were waiting for, so obviously it was an accident, but he’s too captivated, enthralled by the markings and spots on Peter’s frail flesh, the product of physical bullying. He runs a thumb over the boy’s cheek, tongue protruding from his teeth, “You got a name, kid?” It’s unexpected. Peter swallows and nods uncontrollably, his arm absently grabbing onto Tony’s wrist. Now normally Tony wouldn’t let that slide, as evidenced by the jutting forward of his men at the sudden contact, but Tony shakes his head swiftly waves them off. “Well?” Tony demands, voice deep and raspy, waiting to know what to call the boy in his hands.

“I-I’m, I’m Peter.” 

And after that Peter is almost positive he’s going to be killed or kidnapped, never to see the light of day again, but Tony does the unexpected and lets the boy go. It doesn’t take long for them to have another run in though, and this time it’s with the bullies. Tony’s prancing the streets during the day, out and about on daily business, mafia related or not, and at that point it’s Tony who runs into Peter, only this time in a crowd full of people with the bullies attacking Peter’s helpless body. And Tony’s not stupid, he knew the first time that this kid had been running from oppressors, so he just rolls up to the curb, steps out of the car, and the boys are intimidated. He’s not alone, but he also isn’t anticipating Peter at the middle of the brawl. Though pained, he doesn’t have to shoo the boys away because they run like pussies, and Peter lays curled on the pavement, arms over his head and hands over his face because shit man, he was just getting the worst beating of his life. Peter crawls forward, and, if he hadn’t been winded before, he certainly becomes speechless when he peers up at the man from the other day. He doesn’t know his name, but the look in his eyes and the men forming behind him scream that it’s the same man, and Tony just looks at him with the smallest soft spot for Peter’s angelic, little face. Giving him no choice, he just blurts out, “Let me help you.” 

So Tony keeps the bullies away, and on multiple occasions Peter runs into the man. He still doesn’t know his name, until one day he cracks and asks. He asks what he does, why there were weapons, and more importantly, he asks for a name to call him by. Tony hesitates, because no pedestrian had ever been allowed to put two and two together, a name and a face with Tony’s, but he cracks and eventually says, “Stark, Tony Stark.”

AND. After that Peter starts pining after Tony. He thinks the man is the sexiest being in the world, and he wants to help him. He keeps his secret, promises not to tell anyone about his connections, and it gets to the point where Peter’s in such a low spot in his life that Tony brings the boy into the enterprise. He doesn’t have much power, and with his size he’s no crew member. He’s just an associate in the books, there in the administration in case Tony needs anything, and sometimes he’s the consigliere. Other times he dives into being an escort, well.. that’s the title he gives himself because it’s better than bootycall, but he’s only of use for Tony, available for him and him only, so Tony can call him up in the middle of the day or 3am on a school night, and Peter would come; he’d show up ready to emanate pleasure, to be a toy for Tony’s stressed out mind, a place for him to take out all his frustrations and anger. Yeah Tony would kill anyone if they even thought about placing a finger on his boy, but in bed he’d be so goddamn rough, he’d be the one tossing Peter like a rag dog, only he’d be doing it on his leaking cock, pounding the kid until he’s crying, until Tony’s sure someone else is listening, positive Peter belongs to Tony as his property. And Peter loves being owned, being a public possession of Tony’s. Tony is the only one who had ever called him by name, sexually or not, and that only adds to the feeling of being Tony Stark’s bitch.

Tony will come back from a night out in town, sit down in his go-to chair, and Peter will come out of no where, lay across his lap, straddle and give the older man a lap dance. He’ll grind down and out, run his hands along Tony’s chest and arms, and Tony will melt, kissing his boy’s neck and collarbones, groaning when Peter lowers himself onto his dick, touching the bulge building in his pants and breathlessly panting in Tony’s face. Peter would rub him down good, tease him just right, and then remove himself, get up and trot round the chair. There’d be a lot of tie and hair pulling, and don’t even think about the level of bdsm in this. Bondage? With Tony’s skillset would be so elegantly done. Peter would absolutely strip for Tony, ring a tie around his neck and pull him in close as the older man holds his tiny waist. Can I get Peter dropping low to the floor, wiggling his ass, taking his sweet time because he knows Tony loves to watch. Formal deals where the customer meets Tony in his office? And Peter sucks him off from under the desk, Tony forcing the kid’s head down when he senses hesitation stemming from nervousness. There would be a lot of skull fucking, steamy sex and rough kissing, but Tony actually cares for this boy. He would do anything to protect him, keep him safe from danger, and if Peter ever got hurt because of Tony’s name, he’d never forgive himself.

And when Peter asks his boss to get rid of a man bothering him, it’s almost hard to believe he’s the precious, bullied kid from the alleyway.

[whereisfootball]

2018 MLS Kit Branding Reimagined

The 2018 Major League Soccer season is nearly underway. It’s been a long offseason and we’re hyped to have it back.

Our friends Tap In have a lot of new, exciting MLS content coming this year on their guide, and in celebration of that, we decided to partner on a fun little project.

In a bid to add a little more personality to what is largely bland, impersonal sponsorship real estate on each kit, we reimagined every team’s jersey with something new in the middle of it. Some of these are local companies, others are prospective partners who have some fun link to the team, and others will probably just be arcane jokes that won’t land.

Nevertheless, we thought this was a fun way to bring a few of our favorite things together: Friendship, Photoshop & American soccer.

Please enjoy.

Atlanta United — Waffle House

An iconic southern restaurant with its roots in Atlanta, Waffle House is open 24/7, 365—and it’s the best. As Waffle House FC will tell you, this is a perfect sponsor for a team that’s tasty on and off the pitch. Their supporters never waver, refusing to shut off for even a single second when they pack the Mercedes-Benz Stadium. They aren’t afraid to do things their own way—which, yes, can sometimes get a bit messy ... but most of the time it’s spot on.

Chicago Fire — Portillo’s

Sorry, it’s important we let you know now that this is probably going to be a food-heavy list as we’re rather fond of eating.

Portillo’s is a Chicago institution known for its hot dogs, Italian beef sandwiches, and an extremely healthy, 100% good for any diet cheese sauce.

While the Fire aren’t yet a Chicago institution themselves, we hope one day pictures of Bob Bradley, Hristo Stoichkov & Ante Razov will line the walls of a Portillo’s near you.

Colorado Rapids — Coors

The beer with mountains on the can that turn from white to blue when it’s cold enough to drink...

The beer that you knew and loved so well from ages 21-24...

The beer brewed with spring water from the very same Rocky range you can spot from the Colorado Rapids’ 18,000-seat soccer specific stadium...

Headquartered in Golden, Colorado and responsible for some of the best nights of your life, we give you Coors on a Rapids jersey...

“Like if Chelsea’s 1994 kit did a gap year in America.”

Columbus Crew — Wendy’s

As the red-headed stepchild of MLS, this one kind of feels right. And the disappearance of the club would be just as sad as when Wendy’s (founded in Columbus) got rid of their spicy chicken nuggets.

#SAVETHECREW

(Note: The actual kit is pretty great and it’s honestly insulting that we did anything to it. We’re sorry.)

DC United — Geico

The Chevy Chase, Maryland-based Geico gecko had some good years there. We all liked him for a while. It was a good bit. But it got stale right around the time Freddy Adu left town. Since then, DC United and the gecko have struggled mightily to find consistent form. Here’s hoping they both find success this year from a new approach.

(And, hey, while we’re here: All the best to you, Freddy.)

FC Dallas — Dr. Pepper

Everyone’s second team, Dr. Pepper, is a lifestyle in Texas. A Lone Star State-staple that pulls a talented 23-flavor squad from all-over—here’s to you Waco and Dublin— Dr. Pepper is an underrated, over-performing outfit with immense local significance … just like their imagined partner in Dallas.

A lot more to be proud of than their trophy cabinet will tell you.

Houston Dynamo — Swishahouse

As Mike Jones, noted soccer superfan, Swishahouse OG, and Everyone’s Favorite Rapper from 2005, once said:

Let ‘em know: Houston Dynamo.

Good enough for us.

LA Galaxy — SpaceX

Space. Galaxy. You get it.

Headquartered a stone’s throw from the LA Galaxy’s stadium in Carson is SpaceX, Elon Musk’s influential private “outer space things” company as it’s scientifically known.

Much like MLS’s most famous and successful franchise, SpaceX is a trailblazer famous for its glamour and willingness to break the mold. This isn’t to say it’s always smooth sailing—for either—but at the end of the day they’re both respected for their vision and performance.

This crossover is too perfect and it’s something that we’ve seen terrific mockups of in the past (though we wish we knew who to credit!). Also worth a shout is this awesome piece from LA Galaxy Confidential, which mentions Tesla as a fun potential partner. 

LAFC — The Boring Company

If the Galaxy is SpaceX, LAFC is The Boring Company.

Elon Musk’s newest endeavor is going to revolutionize Los Angeles by … making tunnels for cars? Oh, and by creating giant vehicles that can travel those tunnels and move lots of people at once … like a train. Hmm. The Boring Company seems like a well-backed but ordinary idea that lacks direction and distinction, with a lot of hype for reasons no one can really explain.

To be blunt, we haven’t really seen much to this point.

The Galaxy have sent a Tesla up into space and revolutionized how we build rockets... but LAFC have so far just made a bunch of flamethrowers and sold out their entire stock. So, we’ll see.

For now, all we’re really sure about is how much better their kit would have looked if they hadn’t put their sponsor in red.

Minnesota United — Prince. Duh.

You can have a Dirty Mind or even be a little Delirious, but you’ll still end up right back here with no Controversy. You can wear it in a Little Red Corvette, in a Purple Rain, When Doves Cry or even put it on Bambi. With this kit, you’ll be a Sexy MF.

Montreal Impact — Cirque du Soleil

What’s wilder than benching Didier Drogba because you’re better without him? One person doing acrobatics on the head of another person while a third person flies through the air holding fire. In French.

Born and headquartered in Quebec, Cirque du Soleil is now the largest theatrical producer in the world. The Impact aren’t even the kings of Canada yet, let alone MLS, but this could be the year they flip their way to the top. Holding fire. In French.

New England Revolution — Sperry’s

Put those Sperry’s on to look the part and take your dad’s boat out on the water. You’ll be as close to Boston as Gillette Stadium and the deck of your boat will probably be as soft as the turf too.

NYCFC — Sbarro.

The Michael-Scott-approved best pizza in New York. The only logical choice.

Sorry, sorry. We’re kidding. Don’t go to Sbarro.

...Let’s try that again...

NYCFC — WeWork.

Much like City Football Group, WeWork is trying to change a model.

For CFG, it’s football clubs. For WeWork, it’s the office space game. WeWork started in New York, born out of an inability to find affordable and available office space in the city—a problem NYCFC knows rather well—and now has an operation that spans across the globe.

Like CFG, it might not be your cup of tea, but it certainly works for a lot of people in NYC and has offered plenty of enterprising young professionals a place to grind. #JackHarrison

New York Red Bulls — Become the MetroStars again.

#Metros4Ever. That is all.

Orlando City — Publix

This one is a no-brainer.

Publix is an employee-owned supermarket chain that serves up some truly delicious food and has fans almost as fanatical as those found on The Wall in Orlando.

Floridians are vocally, passionately, sometimes a bit frighteningly #TeamPublix—and the same can be true for the way purple-clad City supporters get behind their squad.

Philadelphia Union — Wawa

If you know, you know. In their words:

“Wawa is your all day, every day stop for fresh, built-to-order foods, beverages, coffee, fuel services, and surcharge-free ATMs. The stores offer a large fresh food service selection, including Wawa brands such as built-to-order hoagies, freshly brewed coffee, hot breakfast sandwiches, built-to-order specialty beverages, and an assortment of soups, sides and snacks.”

Wawa 4 ever. #SheetzOUT

Portland Timbers — Powell’s

Powell’s City of Books is (supposedly) the largest independent new and used bookstore in the world. It is ginormous and fantastic and you should go if you’re ever in Portland.

We don’t know of any football clubs sponsored by book stores, but if there was ever going to be one, it would play in the Rose City.

Real Salt Lake — High West

Tucked away in a state known primarily for its gorgeous vistas and as the home of the Mormon religion is a really wonderful distillery that will knock your socks off. It also comes with that beautiful mountain view, not unlike Rio Tinto Stadium.

San Jose Earthquakes — Yahoo!

Nothing says cool like needing an exclamation point at the end of your name. Kind of like building a brand new stadium and needing to tell people that you have a really long bar.

As the kit sponsor of the Quakes during their two title runs, we think it’s time for Yahoo! to make a return. (Not sure anyone will use it, though.)

Seattle Sounders — Starbucks

Sorry, we’re those guys. Seattle gave the world Starbucks and we needed to see what that logo would look like on these new kits. 

Plus, much like Starbucks invented coffee, the Sounders invented American soccer.

Sporting Kansas City — Hallmark

A proudly Kansas City company that is all about good vibes, with extensive Wizard of Oz involvement over the years.

That sounds a lot like Sporting KC to us—a team that needed a rough start in order to find its way. Much the same, Hallmark probably would have never become what it is today without extensive setbacks in its early years.

Toronto FC — Tim Hortons

Timbits and trophies: That’s what Toronto does. Nowadays, anyway.

We only had three Canadian teams to give the Tim Hortons love to, so we figured the toast of MLS deserves the world’s most lovely quick-service cafe and bake shop.

Vancouver Whitecaps — Lululemon

Set on the water, with an amazing mountain view, you couldn’t say a bad word about how great Vancouver looks. It’s straight-up cool. And local company Lululemon makes activewear that looks similarly awesome. We are officially here for MLS yoga wear.

————

This post was a collaboration between Where Is Football and Tap In Guide. Check out their stuff—it’s awesome.

A special thanks to Tap In’s graphic designer Mike Arney for helping bring our ideas to life, and to our buddy Ryan Rosenblatt for developing those ideas with us.

As always, you can follow us on Instagram @whereisfootball.