#yes this economy is in shambles

[itwoodbeprefect]

look, i won't try to pretend that a fridge with 13 oishi bottles is surprising from the boy who spent all his food money for a month on one (1) cool bicycle on day one (1) of that month, BUT

the moment that fridge swung open all i could think was just. you know.

[hopeinthebox]

bts + reductress headlines pt.13

[jessicas-pi]

hear me out on this ok. ROTS AU where Anakin still turns to the dark side but that's Palpatine's problem.

So, Palpatine decides last minute that ehhhh maybe dooku could come in handy later and he doesn't encourage Anakin to kill him, and Dooku gets arrested and imprisoned in the Jedi Temple awaiting trial. (Also he didn't get his hands cut off because of uhh plot reasons?)

Fast forward.

Palpatine is encouraging Anakin towards the Dark side, tells him about Plagueis the Wise, etc. etc. But see, the thing is, Anakin is at the end of his tether, probably hasn't slept more than three hours over the past week, and has no remaining impulse control or inhibitions, and upon hearing that the Dark Side can save people from death, his first thought is, "wait a sec, we've got a Sith Lord in-house at the moment!" and he sprints out of the space opera and books it back to the temple.

Now, Dooku has been calmly waiting in Temple custody, confident that Darth Sidious will arrange his escape. But THEN Anakin barges into the cell like OMG THE CHANCELLOR TOLD ME THE SITH KNOW HOW TO KEEP PEOPLE FROM DYING AND I'M HAVING DREAMS ABOUT SOMEONE DYING AND I NEED YOUR HELP TO SAVE THEM

At which point, Dooku realizes Palpatine's plan. He's going to tempt Skywalker to the Dark side and REPLACE DOOKU. this is totally uncool.

So he's like "...who are you dreaming about, exactly?"

Anakin freezes. He can't admit it's Padme because their relationship is top-secret and he can't admit how important she is to him so he tries to think of a good fib and goes "uhhhh OBI-WAN! Obi-Wan, it's Obi-Wan, I'm dreaming about Obi-Wan dying-" and he just throws himself into the drama because now he IS imagining obi-wan dying because Obi-Wan is fighting grievous at the moment and he MIGHT ACTUALLY DIE and that's in addition to Padme dying and he's totally spiraling at this point- "pleasepleaseplease you gotta help me he's like the only father i've ever known I don't know what i'll do without obi-wan I have to save him YOU GOTTA TELL ME WHAT TO DO I'LL DO ANYTHING--"

Dooku begins to smile.

(Would stealing Skywalker out from under his Master's nose be petty? Oh, yeah.)

(But it would also be very, very satisfying.)

---

Obi-Wan calls in to a council meeting to report his defeat of Grievous, but before he can say so, Mace announces that Dooku has escaped and the Sith Master has been killed.

Silence falls between the eleven councilmembers (eleven, not twelve, because their newest one is conspicuously absent. Obi-Wan wonders just what Anakin's up to now. Honestly, that boy will be the death of him.)

Obi-Wan clears his throat.

"...indeed," he says, trying to handle the shocking news with composure. "Well... at least we're down to one Sith, now."

Another awkward pause.

"Yeah, about that--" Mace begins.

[palin-tropos]

even though I don’t have all the canon lore yet I fear I will never give up on my AU idea where mazov and nilsen are the scrappy detectives solving a le murder in the people’s republic of revachol

[livvyofthelake]

spending 3 dollars on a beverage from a vending machine because your water in your water bottle is warm now and that grosses you out but you can't leave until after 3:30 because you have to meet someone but you're THIRSTY and you didn't even know what you wanted so you chose this vitamin water tea dragonfruit bullshit thing and it was 3 entire dollars. and it tastes just ok.

[gay-kurapika]

I think the ultimate personality test for people my age was actually your favorite neopet. Mine was cybunny, my favorite paintbrush color was faerie

[bee-c-e]

can you guys imagine the founding fathers reactions to the state of the country as of right now. like, putting aside the obvious discrimination, say that the founding fathers held modern beliefs but hadn’t lived through everything that’s happened since they died.

washington: you all freed slaves, and they live as proper citizens? fantastic!

washington: …what do you mean they get actively targeted by police. what are police.

washington: …what do you mean you’re running on a two party system.

washington: the government is trying to pass WHAT kind of bills???

washington: did none of you listen to me. like i know this started when i was still in office but i thought it would’ve been resolved by now. you’re telling me it’s been almost 300 years and you’re still fighting over things you mostly agree on?

hamilton: what the FUCK is GDP. what. what the fuck.

hamilton: i created the fucking system for the economy and yet you put me on the 10 dollar bill? are you serious? why the hell is benjamin fucking franklin on the 100 dollar bill?? did he create banks? i think the fuck not.

jefferson: i’m sorry, y’all want to do what because of religion? why the hell is religion even thought about in the government?? …WHAT?!

jefferson: i don’t even know the word for what i’m feeling right now. i can’t breathe? i think i’m close to tears? why is my vision going out-

jefferson, 10 minutes later: what the fuck is a panic attack.

franklin: i… don’t even have the words for how disappointed i am. i write an entire book about finances and yet here we are. i preach that the beliefs about God don’t matter as much as being kind and loving, and yet- here. we. are.

franklin: holy shit the people of france did WHAT in their revolution???

all 4 of them: DINOSAURS? WHAT ARE DINOSAURS? OH MY GOD-

[nazumichi]

it’s the same jacket, by the way. if you care.

[vinamari]

JJK Incorrect Quotes ft. Y/N

Geto: You know, Y/N gives Gojo flowers everyday, I wish you'd do that too.

Shoko : Okay.

*Later*

Shoko : *gives Gojo flowers*

Gojo : ???

Shoko : I don't know, I'm confused as well.

———————————————————

Geto: Truth or dare?

Y/N: Dare.

Geto: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room.

Y/N: Hey Gojo ?

Gojo , blushing: Yeah?

Y/N: Can you move? I'm trying to get to Shoko .

———————————————————

Shoko : What are you getting Gojo for the holidays?

Y/N: I don't know. It's kind of hard buying a gift for your partner when they already got everything they could've ever wanted when they married you. So I'm not sure yet.

Geto: I'm getting Gojo a divorce lawyer.

———————————————————

Geto: Why do you look like that?

Y/N, laying face-first on the floor: Like what?

Geto: Like you’re dead.

Y/N: It’s because I’m dying. Leave me here to perish.

Shoko : Y/N accidentally called Gojo “babe” in front of everyone today.

Y/N: *sobs into the floor*

———————————————————

Y/N: That's ridiculous, Gojo doesn't have a crush on me.

Geto: Yes he does.

Shoko: Yes he does.

Gojo : Yes I do.

———————————————————

Geto: *about Gojo and Y/N* They make a cute couple, huh?

Shoko : They certainly are standing next to each other.

———————————————————

Gojo: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?
Nobara : Nope, absolutely not.
Megumi: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.
Y/N: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.
(Yuji) Sukuna: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.
Shoko : I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.

———————————————————

Gojo: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you're all invited

Y/N: If?

Kid!Megumi: Great, the only party I've ever been invited to and they might not even die.

Gojo:

———————————————————

Y/N: I think am falling for you

Shoko: Then get up

———————————————————

Yuji: My brother Sukuna-

Megumi: He killed innocent people

Yuji: He’s adopted

———————————————————

Y/N: Talk dirty to me~

Nanami: Inflation is a serious problem and lumber prices are at a high.

Y/N: Sor-

Nanami: The economy is in shambles

———————————————————

Gojo: When you said “Magic in bed”, I didn’t expect this

Y/N: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this you card?

Gojo: ..No

———————————————————

Y/N: I think we should kiss

Sukuna: And I think you should die, we don’t always get what we want

———————————————————

Shoko: You’re acting like your 5

Gojo: yeah 5 heads taller than you

Shoko: …

Gojo: I’m sorry

———————————————————

Y/N: I fell-

Gojo: From heaven?

Geto: No they literally fell-

Gojo: In love with me the moment they saw me!

Shoko, visibly disappointed: Their arm is broken

Gojo, posing: Okay, but do you think I’m pretty? Be honest

———————————————————

Maki: *Angrily presses Nobara against the wall* WHERES THE GODDAMN MONEY

Nobara:

Nobara: Are we about to kiss?

———————————————————

Y/N: Last night was a mistake

Gojo: A hot mistake

Y/N, walking away: No just a regular mistake

Gojo, running after them: HEY WAIT

[figofswords]

I’ve been meaning to open an online shop but keep getting intimidated by the whole thing. I’m thinking about maybe opening a limited test run with one or two preorder items, probably the dungeon meshi charm (pictured after poll) and maybe a print. is this something people would be interested in?

please answer honestly!!! I know the economy is in shambles and people don’t have the money to spend on misc random merch so if that’s the case please vote accordingly. my feelings will not be hurt. also feel free to reblog and elaborate on your vote! I would love the feedback

also, disclaimer: at least this initial test run will probably be usa-only since figuring out shipping costs internationally is. complicated. if you’re not from the US, please vote anyway, but then if you’d like to share in your reblog/the comments that you’re international that would be helpful so I can know going forward if there is interest in non-domestic orders.

the dunmeshi charm in question:

plus maybe these frieren pins??

some of the other stuff I sell at cons can be seen here: https://figofswords.myportfolio.com/convention-stock. if there’s anything in particular from there or from my art tag (#pen doodles) you’d be interested in ordering as a print/sticker/charm/etc feel free to comment that as well!

[artgeekz]

Ragatha: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?

Pomni: It was autocorrect.

Ragatha: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?

Pomni: Yes.

-

Ragatha: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Pomni!

Pomni: You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

-

Ragatha: I feel like doing something stupid.

Pomni: I’m stupid, do me.

-

Ragatha: Bro-

Pomni: No, no, hold up, rewind.

Pomni: My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??

-

Ragatha: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!

Pomni: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.

Ragatha: Stop.

-

Pomni: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?

Ragatha: …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out on bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

-

Ragatha: Talk dirty to me~

Pomni: Inflation is a serious problem and lumber prices are at a high.

Ragatha: Wha-

Pomni: The economy is in shambles.

-

Ragatha: What are you in the mood for?

Pomni: World domination.

Ragatha: That's a bit ambitious.

Pomni: You are my world.

Ragatha: Aww...

Pomni:

Ragatha:

Pomni:

Ragatha: OH.

-

Pomni: Are you an F5 key? Because that ass is refreshing.

Ragatha: Are you a software update? because not right now.

-

Ragatha: Wow, Pomni, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.

Pomni: We literally slept together yesterday.

Ragatha: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

-

Pomni: Wait, what's going on? Are we all talking about how hot Ragatha is? Because Ragatha is a straight up sexual fox riding a red-hot nuclear bombshell right toward the yowza plaza in the heart of Babe City, Assachusetts, U S A. The last A just stands for more ass.

-

Ragatha: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.

Pomni: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*

Ragatha: That one. I want that one.

-

Ragatha: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

Pomni: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

-

Ragatha: Hey, Pomni, what do you think it would be like if we had kids?

Pomni: What would it be like? Inconvenient, mostly.

Ragatha: No, I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it?

Pomni: Can't really say I have.

Ragatha: You know, for someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring as fuck sometimes.

Pomni: Sorry, Ragatha. For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody.

-

Pomni, sweating: Ragatha, there’s something I need to ask you-

Ragatha: Finally! You’re proposing!

Pomni: How’d you know?

Ragatha: Pomni, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

Ragatha: I even picked it up once.

Seeing how the first quotes I made were good, here is ButtonBlossom now!

[tired-fandom-ndn]

I don't know if you watch the Helluva Boss shorts? But I started watching the most recent one and it's... pretty uncomfortable. I had to stop watching quickly. It makes a lovely (sarcasm) point of mocking adults who still live at home with their parents and mocks adults who are in fandoms/ship/into anime. I really didn't want to watch any further because I was almost certain it was going to get ableist quickly because it had that 'vibe'.

I watched the first one, with Millie and her sister, but none of the others.

Honestly, I'm super disappointed hearing this but not surprised in the slightest, though I am kinda. . . Bemused? First of all, who the hell does the HB crew think is keeping their youtube show alive and popular? And for that matter, who the hell do they think was buying all their premature Hazbin merch in the years between the pilot and the show getting picked up? Like it's absurd when ANY media mocks fandoms and their fans, but it's especially ridiculous coming from shows that were kept afloat for years by very dedicated fandoms on social media.

Second of all, I'm sorry, I can't even take "lives at home with their parents like a loser lol" jokes seriously anymore. Even beyond the obvious ableism (and Western-centric capitalist bullshit), do they know how much shit costs these days??? Have they seen grocery prices?? Lack of job availability, the rise of cost of living, utilities getting more and more expensive every month, cost of gas, student loans, and that's not even getting into things like paying for insurance (health, car, home, maybe even pet!) and medications and anything else (clothes, subscriptions, going to eat, hobbies, everything that keeps you from surviving on the bare minimum), like?? Yes, a lot of people live with their parents??? No fucking shit, our global economy is in shambles??? Those kinds of jokes aren't just mean-spirited and cruel for no reason, they're also just completely disconnected from reality and made by people who are either deeply unaware or deeply in denial about how close they are to homelessness with one unexpected bill.

[dmwrites]

Based off of the general silliness of the Sons of the Forest streams with impulse, skizz, grian, and scar

——

“Why did we get a tent this small?”

Impulse, Skizzleman, Grian, and Scar all looked down at the frankly tiny tent they’d just finished assembling together. Night was falling upon the forest they had found themselves in, and the four guys had stopped to set up camp.

“And this is the only tent we have?” Impulse asked incredulously, gesturing at it. “Out of the four of us, no one had the insight to bring another tent?”

“The economy is in shambles.” Grian replied.

“I thought you were our insight.” Skizz said, wrapping an arm around Impulse’s shoulders jovially.

“Yeah, there’s no other tents.” Scar said, having just finished looking through everyone’s bags.

“Well, fellas.” Grian said, clapping his hands together. “Looks like we’re gonna be cuddling tonight.”

Skizz cheered. “Cuddles with the homies? Say less!”

The four fellas got ready for bed, kicking out their campfire that had warmed their dinner before and setting out some wet clothes to dry. Scar, Skizz, and Grian got into the tent, a mess of limbs and blankets and pillows.

“Impulseeeee!” Grian whined. “Get in the cuddle pile so we can go to sleep!”

Impulse looked in on the three and gave them a withering look. “I think I’ll just sleep outside, thanks.”

There was an instant outburst at his statement, groaning and complaining from Skizz and Scar.

“Impulse, please get in the tent. I’ll hold your hand!” Grian said, holding out his hand and giving him the saddest look he could muster.

“I’ll blow everyone in this tent.” Scar said threateningly, holding up a grenade.

“You forgot the ‘up’, buddy.” Skizz said gently, trying not to laugh.

“Ugh, fine.” Impulse sighed, and made his way into the tent. He zipped it up behind them, and lay down next to Grian, as far away as he could be.

“Hey! I thought we were gonna hold hands!” Grian complained.

“Dippledop doesn’t like touchies.” Skizz told Grian and Scar. “It doesn’t stop me from trying to give him good morning kisses. And good night kisses. Speaking of-“ Skizz reached across Scar and Grian, mouth open and tongue out. Impulse grabbed Grian and used him as a meat shield, and Grian got his forehead slobbered on. Grian, naturally, shrieked, and the small tent dissolved into chaos for a moment, until Scar threatened to “blow everyone” again.

The four friends settled down once more, with Skizz and Scar quietly arguing over who would be the big spoon, and Grian refusing to let go of Impulse entirely, even though he was tossing and turning.

“Fellas, I can’t go to sleep without a bedtime story!” Grian said finally, breaking the silence.

“Awww, widdle Gri Gri needs a bedtime story! Do you want some milk and cookies too?” Scar cooed, then failed to dodge Grian’s pillow blow to the face.

“Alright children, settle down. I will tell you a bedtime story.” Skizz said, sitting up. “Once upon a time, there was a handsome man named Skizzleman. He was the hero of the village- sexy, bulging with muscles, attractive-”

“How many abs did he have?” Scar asked sleepily.

“Oh, at least thirty.” Skizz replied.

“Awesome.” Scar said.

“Anyway, the handsome hero of the village and his sidekick, Average Impulse, were fighting off a horde of mobs from a defenseless village.”

“Average Impulse?” Impulse asked, eyebrow raised.

“Oh yes, named for his average size.” Skizz told him knowledgeably. “He was pretty short, too.”

“Alright, that’s enough bedtime story for one night.” Impulse said over Grian and Scar’s snickers.

“But I’m not sleepy yet!” Grian complained.

“Scar could tell you facts about Disney until you fall asleep.” Skizz jokingly suggested.

Scar gasped. “Well, I never finished telling you about discontinued merchandise from the ride-”

“Maybe I just need some silence. Good night everyone.” Grian interrupted, putting his hand over Scar’s mouth and snuggling closer to Impulse. “Love you guys.”

“Love you too.”

“Love all you awesome people.”

“Mrph mph.” Scar said, and Grian took his hand away. “Love you all too.” he said.

The tent became quiet, just slow breathing and the shifting of blankets.

“Man, we’re so going to get attacked in the middle of the night.”

“Oh yeah, definitely.”

[sitp-recs]

You're a Kingsman fan?!? That is one of my top five favorite movies! Do you do any fic for it?

Yes! I wasn’t a big fan of the sequels but the first movie is one of my favourites too 😍 I was in the fandom between 2015-2017 and luckily had a bunch of bookmarks in my old account. They’re not recent but tbh I’d rec anything from the authors below, they’re all excellent. Enjoy!

Tongue in Cheek by venvephe (E, 4k)

Eggsy's never done this before - or, to be clear, he's never had this done to him.

Squeeze by rageprufrock (E, 5.7k)

From the start, Harry’s read Eggsy all over, seen right through him, so Eggsy’s not surprised that he’s barely had time to think about how he wants to feel ruined that Harry gives it to him — just like that.

under my skin (tried so not to give in) by venvephe (E, 12k)

This is a monumentally bad idea, Eggsy realizes, in the fraction of a second between reaching out and tugging at Harry’s tie and seeing his eyes briefly widen before their lips meet.

Only As Directed by rageprufrock (E, 12k)

“Arthur is a bad man,” Roxy had said. “Fucking tell me about it,” Eggsy had muttered, and gone to put on the tarty trousers Harry had picked out for him like a fucking high-end pimp.

Class Of Conduct by fideliant (E, 12k)

Or, Six Things Eggsy Has Learned About Being A Gentleman.

all the tables turn by DivineProjectZero (E, 23k)

Harry Hart has terrible taste in men. So it comes as a bit of a surprise when Eggsy smiles at him and the predator inside Harry cocks its head in consideration.

As Men to Fear the Dark by proxydialogue (E, 25k)

After V-day, the world is a jigsaw in a tumble dryer. Nations across the world have collapsed. Kingsman itself is in shambles. Eggsy, Merlin, and Roxy are working desperately to piece everything back together, while in the shadows, mad and malicious men find footholds in the rubble, using the chaos to their advantage.

Your Highness by Galahard (E, 40k) - AU

The international community is in chaos this morning in the wake of the deaths of many world leaders. The death of the president of the United States has been confirmed, along with the majority of his cabinet. Great Britain can count itself lucky that the Queen has been found and finally returned to her throne, but her heirs are another story. It appears that both princes and their own heirs are among the casualties of what is being referred to as the Valentine’s Day Massacre. Sources close to--

the parting glass by kirkaut (E, 48k)

The words shrivel and die between them. Harry's chest hitches on an indrawn breath. The contours of his face are cast dramatically in the fiery hues of the street at night, highlighting the wrinkle in his forehead and the soft slope of his chin and the silvery pink of his scar. He's beautiful, and Eggsy loves him.

The Spy who Loved Me (Or so they say) by ToriCeratops (E, 54k)

In the wake of V-day the world’s economy hangs in a delicate balance, liable to crumble without warning. One man has the knowledge and the power necessary to send it tumbling down, so that only he remains on top.

Bon Appétit by Galahard (T, 58k) - AU

“This is actually an excellent opportunity for you. Kingsman is one of the most elite cooking schools in London, and they so rarely offer evening courses like this. The fact that they were willing to work with us and allow you to attend is a miracle.”

Once Upon a Different Lifetime by missbecky (M, 58k)

The night before the final test, Harry makes Eggsy a promise: once he is a Kingsman, they will talk about their future together. Then V-Day happens, and although Harry recovers, he doesn't remember that last day he spent with Eggsy.

[hunterbunter3000]

Idk if it’s been brought up yet, but I was getting ready for bed and putting my bonnet on and it dawned on me: what would the boys think when they see Sweetheart in a bonnet!?!? And you know she has like 20 different ones lmao. Soap/König would totally help her wrap her hair teehee 🤭

IM ANSWERING THIS AS QUICK AS I CAN 🏃‍♀️💨💨💨(and the fact that you thought of Sweetheart while getting ready for bed honestly makes me want to cry fr fr)

BUT YEW ARE CORRECT ABOUT SWEETS HAVING 20 BONNETS

She would call Soap in her room to help her wrap her hair and omg he would be in heaven. Her hair is so soft and smells so GOOD UGH

She would hand him the Bobby pins and tell him where to put them

Sweetheart: And put this one-- here

Sweetheart: OW-- I SAID HERE NOT MY EYEBROW

Soap: QUIT MOVIN' THEN

Then she would kick him out before putting on the bonnet cause she wanted to see how he would react to it (since he's never seen her wear one- none of them have actually 🤔🤔 she's an early riser, so when everyone gets up in the morning her hair is already done LOL)

I feel like she would have more than 20-- like about 40 but the other 20 is at her house 💀💀 OMG she came out her dorm in a bonnet they went CRAZYYYY

they would love it so much cause if feels so domesticated to them-- like their actually getting ready for bed with the girl of their dreams Sweetheart

And Soap would just have stars in his eyes, feeling the bonnet between his fingers

Soap, gasping: BITCH is this SATIN??

Sweetheart, being a smug Lil shit: BITCH YES IT IISSSS

Gaz would be reminiscing about wearing one when he was younger

Gaz: My mum used to have me wear one when I was a kid

Sweetheart, smiling: Really?!? Oh that's so cute!

Gaz, flustered: ehheheh, yeah. When I used to have hair, she put one on me so it could be perfect for picture days.

And Sweetheart started laughing cause that's ADORABLE

And then she leaves to go to her room and comes back with like-- ten different colored bonnets 💀

Sweetheart, with a devilish smile: Everyone put one on right now. I need to make fun of you real quick

Alex: MEAN

They all put one on except for Ghost (for now) Soap had a blue one cause SCOTLAND FOREVEEEERRRRRRR (he screamed that for 12 minutes.) Gaz got a red one, Price got a gold one cause he's a PIMP, Alex got a light purple one, Horangi had a yellow one with tiger stripes, König got a green one and Roach got an orange one.

Now it was just Ghost--

Sweetheart: Wear it.

Ghost: No.

Sweetheart: JUST FOR A BIT PLEASE

Ghost: NO-- WHY THE FUCK DO I GET THAT COLOR

Sweetheart: BECAUSE JUST-- FUCKIN PUT IT ON

Ghost: STOP IT

She fights him for a bit until she got it on him.

It was silent for so damn long.

Sweetheart started to snort, and then it was just LOUD LAUGHTER

Ghost: I'M TAKING THIS OFF

Sweetheart, crying: NO WAIT LEMME TAKE A PICTURE

The picture:

(I sketched this so damn quick bro)

LMAOOO I CANT WTF DID I JUST CREATE

Everyone started laughing harder and Ghost threw the bonnet on the floor and stomped to his room

Sweetheart: EY DONT THROW MY SHIT THAT COSTED ME TWENTY DOLLARS

Alex: TWENTY DOLLARS??? This economy is in shambles

Sweetheart: Okay now give them back

Sweetheart: 'cept you Gaz, you can keep yours

Gaz: 0:)

[evrensadwrn]

How well would you do if you were Marquis?

warning: angry evren, me cussing the SHIT out of marquis de gramont, copious amounts of uppercase screaming, so much aggression lmao

First of all, I would be SMARTER alright than this bitch

YEAH. THIS VINCENT MOTHERFUCKER. IS A STUPID LITTLE FUCKING CUNT. “Caine is everything John is not🥺🥺” SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID LITTLE BITCHHHHHHH OH MY GOD BRO YOU ARE LITERALLY ASSIGNED AUTEM IMPERATOR AND YOURE FUCKING STUPID?????????? CAINE IS STILL BLIND YOU MOTHERFUCKER😭

First off, I would instead burn down the fucking New York Continental with everyone inside. Is it a crime? Obviously. But he blew it the fuck up anyways so really what’s the wrong part in it??? THAT SAVES ME FROM HAVING WINSTON TAKE JOHN TO THE RIGHT PLACES. BECAUSE HE IS DEAD ASF.

NEXT THING: I wouldn’t even raid the osaka continental. nah. JUST KIDDING I FUCKING WOULD LMAOOO. GET THESE HIGH TABLE FORCES IN THERE. AND I DONT WANNA SEE NONE OF THESE WACK ASS SAMURAI RIPOFF UNIFORM OR THESE GREY SUITS.

LIKE CHIDI BABES YOU SERVED THE FUCK OUT OF THESE GREY SUITS BUT THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY. THAT YOU ARE. RAIDING A WHOLE ASS HOTEL. IN FUCKING SUITS.

YES THEYRE BULLETPROOF I DO NOT CARE. MYRMIDONS BETTER PUT ON THOSE HIGH TABLE SPECIAL FORCES UNIFORM. “They dont have the funds-“ DONT CAREEEEEE I HAVE INFINITE WEALTH BACKED BY THE TABLE THEY WILL FIND A FUCKING WAY TO PUT CHIDI THE MYRMIDONS INTO THESE DAMN OUTFITS

anyways so next thing i would pick CHIDI as the mf to fight for me. cause caine is BLIND. im sorry to break it to people but that mf missed like several shots😭 cause he is BLIND

+ chidi is a fucking tank. he took so MUCH fucking hits and the mf kept standing up + he’s built so differently like this bro had a whole fucking ARROW inches deep into his motherfucking arm and he thugged it the SHIT out. he CONTINUED FIGHTING WITHOUT MEDICAL ATTENTION

anyways im gonna put the duel in a cathedral or a castle so if i do die it’s gonna be giving vampire that just got her heart ripped apart ong

ALSO IM PULLING UP TO THAT DUEL IN ONE OF THESE BABY

and so that if i DO die the mortuary doesn’t have to strip my cold naked ass and just pop me in the casket with all my beautiful family members at my funeral and hopefully one of them gets inspired to do the same and like. idk. change the trajectory of history?💀

“what if the table tells you to pipe tf down you psycho bitch?” good question!

No

next course of my plan is that i send every mf in europe on his john’s ass (omg marianne from tkg era) like im gonna put his bounty up like wayyy before that duel alr. in fact. im specifically making sure that bounty STAYS high as hell to the point it lowkey looks like im putting the high table economy in shambles(french nobility core) so that tracker has like more will to hunt him? if that makes sense lmao.

if i win the duel i of course marry chidi celebrate by going to jollibee expand my influence under the table greatly :D

If I die well. at least i served evil bitch cunt so

and ofc like marquis im gonna serve face while doing all these more atrocious shit ♡︎