#yes this economy is in shambles

[itwoodbeprefect]

look, i won't try to pretend that a fridge with 13 oishi bottles is surprising from the boy who spent all his food money for a month on one (1) cool bicycle on day one (1) of that month, BUT

the moment that fridge swung open all i could think was just. you know.

[hopeinthebox]

bts + reductress headlines pt.13

[jessicas-pi]

hear me out on this ok. ROTS AU where Anakin still turns to the dark side but that's Palpatine's problem.

So, Palpatine decides last minute that ehhhh maybe dooku could come in handy later and he doesn't encourage Anakin to kill him, and Dooku gets arrested and imprisoned in the Jedi Temple awaiting trial. (Also he didn't get his hands cut off because of uhh plot reasons?)

Fast forward.

Palpatine is encouraging Anakin towards the Dark side, tells him about Plagueis the Wise, etc. etc. But see, the thing is, Anakin is at the end of his tether, probably hasn't slept more than three hours over the past week, and has no remaining impulse control or inhibitions, and upon hearing that the Dark Side can save people from death, his first thought is, "wait a sec, we've got a Sith Lord in-house at the moment!" and he sprints out of the space opera and books it back to the temple.

Now, Dooku has been calmly waiting in Temple custody, confident that Darth Sidious will arrange his escape. But THEN Anakin barges into the cell like OMG THE CHANCELLOR TOLD ME THE SITH KNOW HOW TO KEEP PEOPLE FROM DYING AND I'M HAVING DREAMS ABOUT SOMEONE DYING AND I NEED YOUR HELP TO SAVE THEM

At which point, Dooku realizes Palpatine's plan. He's going to tempt Skywalker to the Dark side and REPLACE DOOKU. this is totally uncool.

So he's like "...who are you dreaming about, exactly?"

Anakin freezes. He can't admit it's Padme because their relationship is top-secret and he can't admit how important she is to him so he tries to think of a good fib and goes "uhhhh OBI-WAN! Obi-Wan, it's Obi-Wan, I'm dreaming about Obi-Wan dying-" and he just throws himself into the drama because now he IS imagining obi-wan dying because Obi-Wan is fighting grievous at the moment and he MIGHT ACTUALLY DIE and that's in addition to Padme dying and he's totally spiraling at this point- "pleasepleaseplease you gotta help me he's like the only father i've ever known I don't know what i'll do without obi-wan I have to save him YOU GOTTA TELL ME WHAT TO DO I'LL DO ANYTHING--"

Dooku begins to smile.

(Would stealing Skywalker out from under his Master's nose be petty? Oh, yeah.)

(But it would also be very, very satisfying.)

---

Obi-Wan calls in to a council meeting to report his defeat of Grievous, but before he can say so, Mace announces that Dooku has escaped and the Sith Master has been killed.

Silence falls between the eleven councilmembers (eleven, not twelve, because their newest one is conspicuously absent. Obi-Wan wonders just what Anakin's up to now. Honestly, that boy will be the death of him.)

Obi-Wan clears his throat.

"...indeed," he says, trying to handle the shocking news with composure. "Well... at least we're down to one Sith, now."

Another awkward pause.

"Yeah, about that--" Mace begins.

[palin-tropos]

even though I don’t have all the canon lore yet I fear I will never give up on my AU idea where mazov and nilsen are the scrappy detectives solving a le murder in the people’s republic of revachol

[livvyofthelake]

spending 3 dollars on a beverage from a vending machine because your water in your water bottle is warm now and that grosses you out but you can't leave until after 3:30 because you have to meet someone but you're THIRSTY and you didn't even know what you wanted so you chose this vitamin water tea dragonfruit bullshit thing and it was 3 entire dollars. and it tastes just ok.

[screwoffdotnet]

its so unfair my parents got to be teens in the 80s and young adults in the 90s. we shouldv swtiched places i wouldve appreciated that culture so bad

[gay-kurapika]

I think the ultimate personality test for people my age was actually your favorite neopet. Mine was cybunny, my favorite paintbrush color was faerie

[bee-c-e]

can you guys imagine the founding fathers reactions to the state of the country as of right now. like, putting aside the obvious discrimination, say that the founding fathers held modern beliefs but hadn’t lived through everything that’s happened since they died.

washington: you all freed slaves, and they live as proper citizens? fantastic!

washington: …what do you mean they get actively targeted by police. what are police.

washington: …what do you mean you’re running on a two party system.

washington: the government is trying to pass WHAT kind of bills???

washington: did none of you listen to me. like i know this started when i was still in office but i thought it would’ve been resolved by now. you’re telling me it’s been almost 300 years and you’re still fighting over things you mostly agree on?

hamilton: what the FUCK is GDP. what. what the fuck.

hamilton: i created the fucking system for the economy and yet you put me on the 10 dollar bill? are you serious? why the hell is benjamin fucking franklin on the 100 dollar bill?? did he create banks? i think the fuck not.

jefferson: i’m sorry, y’all want to do what because of religion? why the hell is religion even thought about in the government?? …WHAT?!

jefferson: i don’t even know the word for what i’m feeling right now. i can’t breathe? i think i’m close to tears? why is my vision going out-

jefferson, 10 minutes later: what the fuck is a panic attack.

franklin: i… don’t even have the words for how disappointed i am. i write an entire book about finances and yet here we are. i preach that the beliefs about God don’t matter as much as being kind and loving, and yet- here. we. are.

franklin: holy shit the people of france did WHAT in their revolution???

all 4 of them: DINOSAURS? WHAT ARE DINOSAURS? OH MY GOD-

[lenichque]

the concept of cherik coffee shop aus is so funny to me for some reason like yes let that loser with a phd make cappuccinos sure why not world economy is in shambles it’s only fair

[vinamari]

JJK Incorrect Quotes ft. Y/N

Geto: You know, Y/N gives Gojo flowers everyday, I wish you'd do that too.

Shoko : Okay.

*Later*

Shoko : *gives Gojo flowers*

Gojo : ???

Shoko : I don't know, I'm confused as well.

———————————————————

Geto: Truth or dare?

Y/N: Dare.

Geto: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room.

Y/N: Hey Gojo ?

Gojo , blushing: Yeah?

Y/N: Can you move? I'm trying to get to Shoko .

———————————————————

Shoko : What are you getting Gojo for the holidays?

Y/N: I don't know. It's kind of hard buying a gift for your partner when they already got everything they could've ever wanted when they married you. So I'm not sure yet.

Geto: I'm getting Gojo a divorce lawyer.

———————————————————

Geto: Why do you look like that?

Y/N, laying face-first on the floor: Like what?

Geto: Like you’re dead.

Y/N: It’s because I’m dying. Leave me here to perish.

Shoko : Y/N accidentally called Gojo “babe” in front of everyone today.

Y/N: *sobs into the floor*

———————————————————

Y/N: That's ridiculous, Gojo doesn't have a crush on me.

Geto: Yes he does.

Shoko: Yes he does.

Gojo : Yes I do.

———————————————————

Geto: *about Gojo and Y/N* They make a cute couple, huh?

Shoko : They certainly are standing next to each other.

———————————————————

Gojo: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?
Nobara : Nope, absolutely not.
Megumi: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.
Y/N: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.
(Yuji) Sukuna: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.
Shoko : I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.

———————————————————

Gojo: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you're all invited

Y/N: If?

Kid!Megumi: Great, the only party I've ever been invited to and they might not even die.

Gojo:

———————————————————

Y/N: I think am falling for you

Shoko: Then get up

———————————————————

Yuji: My brother Sukuna-

Megumi: He killed innocent people

Yuji: He’s adopted

———————————————————

Y/N: Talk dirty to me~

Nanami: Inflation is a serious problem and lumber prices are at a high.

Y/N: Sor-

Nanami: The economy is in shambles

———————————————————

Gojo: When you said “Magic in bed”, I didn’t expect this

Y/N: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this you card?

Gojo: ..No

———————————————————

Y/N: I think we should kiss

Sukuna: And I think you should die, we don’t always get what we want

———————————————————

Shoko: You’re acting like your 5

Gojo: yeah 5 heads taller than you

Shoko: …

Gojo: I’m sorry

———————————————————

Y/N: I fell-

Gojo: From heaven?

Geto: No they literally fell-

Gojo: In love with me the moment they saw me!

Shoko, visibly disappointed: Their arm is broken

Gojo, posing: Okay, but do you think I’m pretty? Be honest

———————————————————

Maki: *Angrily presses Nobara against the wall* WHERES THE GODDAMN MONEY

Nobara:

Nobara: Are we about to kiss?

———————————————————

Y/N: Last night was a mistake

Gojo: A hot mistake

Y/N, walking away: No just a regular mistake

Gojo, running after them: HEY WAIT

[starlitvick]

I can’t stop drinking oil (making ArcherPrince incorrect quotes posts)

Telemachus: Hey Apollo, can you give me the opposite of these words?

Telemachus: Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down.

Apollo: Never, Going, To, Give, You-

Apollo: The fucking satisfaction.

Telemachus: What are you in the mood for?

Apollo: World domination.

Telemachus: That's a bit ambitious.

Apollo: You are my world.

Telemachus: Aww...

Apollo:

Telemachus:

Apollo:

Telemachus: OH.

Apollo: I feel like doing something stupid.

Telemachus: I’m stupid, do me.

Telemachus: WAIT—

Telemachus: Here’s the cold medicine you asked for.

Telemachus: *dumps 3 shopping bags of wine on the table*

Apollo: ...Thanks.

Telemachus: This bloodline ends with me.

Apollo: That's the fanciest way I've ever heard someone say "I'm gay".

Apollo: I like your new pants!

Telemachus: Thanks, they were 50% off!

Apollo: I’d like them better if they were 100% off. *winks*

Telemachus: The store can’t just give away clothes for free.

Apollo: Thats’s… not what I meant.

Telemachus: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Apollo.

Apollo: Telemachus.. I'm gonna cry!

Telemachus: Please don't.

Apollo, crying: Request denied.

Telemachus: I'm trash.

Apollo: As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. Does 7 work for you?

Telemachus:

Telemachus: You smooth motherfucker.

Telemachus: And yes it does.

Telemachus: Your future self is talking shit about you right now.

Apollo: Jokes on them. I'll ruin their fucking life.

Telemachus, showing up to dinner late: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things.

Apollo: Hi, I’m ‘things’.

Odysseus: Apollo, get out of my palace.

Apollo: Talk dirty to me~

Telemachus: Inflation is a serious problem and lumber prices are at a high.

Apollo: Wha-

Telemachus: The economy is in shambles.

Telemachus: Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers?

Apollo: Peonies, why?

Telemachus:

Apollo: Were you going to get me flowers?

Telemachus:

Apollo:

Telemachus: ᶦᵗ’ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ

Telemachus: I’m in love with you.

Apollo: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.

Telemachus: I know.

Apollo: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

Apollo: Did you know you remind me of all 26 letters of the alphabet?

Telemachus: What? Like J F K W S Q X-

Apollo: No, like, U R A Q T.

Telemachus: Awwww!

I’m gonna post a short blurb about them in a bit, maybe multiple of them

[figofswords]

I’ve been meaning to open an online shop but keep getting intimidated by the whole thing. I’m thinking about maybe opening a limited test run with one or two preorder items, probably the dungeon meshi charm (pictured after poll) and maybe a print. is this something people would be interested in?

please answer honestly!!! I know the economy is in shambles and people don’t have the money to spend on misc random merch so if that’s the case please vote accordingly. my feelings will not be hurt. also feel free to reblog and elaborate on your vote! I would love the feedback

also, disclaimer: at least this initial test run will probably be usa-only since figuring out shipping costs internationally is. complicated. if you’re not from the US, please vote anyway, but then if you’d like to share in your reblog/the comments that you’re international that would be helpful so I can know going forward if there is interest in non-domestic orders.

the dunmeshi charm in question:

plus maybe these frieren pins??

some of the other stuff I sell at cons can be seen here: https://figofswords.myportfolio.com/convention-stock. if there’s anything in particular from there or from my art tag (#pen doodles) you’d be interested in ordering as a print/sticker/charm/etc feel free to comment that as well!

[artgeekz]

Ragatha: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?

Pomni: It was autocorrect.

Ragatha: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?

Pomni: Yes.

-

Ragatha: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Pomni!

Pomni: You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

-

Ragatha: I feel like doing something stupid.

Pomni: I’m stupid, do me.

-

Ragatha: Bro-

Pomni: No, no, hold up, rewind.

Pomni: My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??

-

Ragatha: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!

Pomni: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.

Ragatha: Stop.

-

Pomni: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?

Ragatha: …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out on bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

-

Ragatha: Talk dirty to me~

Pomni: Inflation is a serious problem and lumber prices are at a high.

Ragatha: Wha-

Pomni: The economy is in shambles.

-

Ragatha: What are you in the mood for?

Pomni: World domination.

Ragatha: That's a bit ambitious.

Pomni: You are my world.

Ragatha: Aww...

Pomni:

Ragatha:

Pomni:

Ragatha: OH.

-

Pomni: Are you an F5 key? Because that ass is refreshing.

Ragatha: Are you a software update? because not right now.

-

Ragatha: Wow, Pomni, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.

Pomni: We literally slept together yesterday.

Ragatha: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

-

Pomni: Wait, what's going on? Are we all talking about how hot Ragatha is? Because Ragatha is a straight up sexual fox riding a red-hot nuclear bombshell right toward the yowza plaza in the heart of Babe City, Assachusetts, U S A. The last A just stands for more ass.

-

Ragatha: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.

Pomni: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*

Ragatha: That one. I want that one.

-

Ragatha: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

Pomni: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

-

Ragatha: Hey, Pomni, what do you think it would be like if we had kids?

Pomni: What would it be like? Inconvenient, mostly.

Ragatha: No, I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it?

Pomni: Can't really say I have.

Ragatha: You know, for someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring as fuck sometimes.

Pomni: Sorry, Ragatha. For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody.

-

Pomni, sweating: Ragatha, there’s something I need to ask you-

Ragatha: Finally! You’re proposing!

Pomni: How’d you know?

Ragatha: Pomni, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

Ragatha: I even picked it up once.

Seeing how the first quotes I made were good, here is ButtonBlossom now!

[watarfallar]

Has anyone got any fluffy fic reccomendations? Preferably Scarian or Ethubs. Also sorry I haven't posted in a lil bit my mental health just went a bit brrr.

ALSO HAVE SOME MORE INCORRECT QUOTES!

Tango: Ah, yes. Here we have a beautiful couple... Joel: I really care about your feelings! Lizzie: I really care about YOUR feelings! Tango, turning their head: ...and then there's the disaster couple... Scar: YOU NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME INSTEAD OF BEING AT THE HOSPITAL! Grian: I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME AT THE HOSPITAL IF YOU STOPPED INSISTING ON FIGHTING EVERYONE WHO COMES WITHIN A FIVE FOOT RADIUS OF YOU

Bdubs: God, if only someone loved me… Etho: *standing behind them with roses* Grian: *holding box of chocolates* Cleo: *has balloons and a card* Joel: *facepalms* This is sad.

Grian: Having two partners is both amazing and complicated. But all our problems are solved with communication. Scar: It’s my turn to cuddle Mumbo. Grian: FIVE MORE MINUTES DAMMIT!

Etho: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me? Bdubs: Depends. Is your bed comfortable? Etho: Yes. Bdubs: I'd sleep.

*Grian comes home absolutely drunk, undresses, and stands in Scar’s bedroom.* Scar: Babe, are you.. coming to bed? Grian: No thank you, I’m sure you’re lovely but I have a husband. Grian: *Lies on the ground and falls asleep* Scar: ...

Jimmy: Talk dirty to me~ Tango: Inflation is a serious problem and lumber prices are at a high. Jimmy: Wha- Tango: The economy is in shambles.

Jimmy: *Holding up a pack of pencils* These are kinda cute. Scott: Jimmy, that’s gay. Jimmy: We’ve been dating for 2 years—

Tango: Is there a cactus where your heart should be? Grian: What’s up your ass this morning! Jimmy: *walks in* ...Hey. Grian: Hmm… nevermind. Tango: WAIT NO!

Grian: If you had too, what would you give up food or sex? Joel: Sex. Etho: Seriously, answer faster. Joel: I’m sorry honey, when they said sex I wasn’t thinking about sex with you. Etho: It’s like a giant hug. Grian: Scott, what about you? What would you give up sex or food? Scott: Food. Grian: Okay, how about sex or dinosaurs? Scott: Oh my God it’s like the movie Sophie’s Choice. Ren: What about you Scar? What would you give up sex or food? Scar: Oh... um... I don’t know, it’s too hard. Ren: No, you gotta pick one. Scar: Um, food... no, sex... no, food... sex... food. Ugh! I don’t know! I want both! I- I want hot people on bread!

Tango: Etho doesn’t deserve you. Tango: If they don't treat you right by now, you're gone. Bdubs: I'm gone. Tango: Now go chop their dick off!

[tired-fandom-ndn]

I don't know if you watch the Helluva Boss shorts? But I started watching the most recent one and it's... pretty uncomfortable. I had to stop watching quickly. It makes a lovely (sarcasm) point of mocking adults who still live at home with their parents and mocks adults who are in fandoms/ship/into anime. I really didn't want to watch any further because I was almost certain it was going to get ableist quickly because it had that 'vibe'.

I watched the first one, with Millie and her sister, but none of the others.

Honestly, I'm super disappointed hearing this but not surprised in the slightest, though I am kinda. . . Bemused? First of all, who the hell does the HB crew think is keeping their youtube show alive and popular? And for that matter, who the hell do they think was buying all their premature Hazbin merch in the years between the pilot and the show getting picked up? Like it's absurd when ANY media mocks fandoms and their fans, but it's especially ridiculous coming from shows that were kept afloat for years by very dedicated fandoms on social media.

Second of all, I'm sorry, I can't even take "lives at home with their parents like a loser lol" jokes seriously anymore. Even beyond the obvious ableism (and Western-centric capitalist bullshit), do they know how much shit costs these days??? Have they seen grocery prices?? Lack of job availability, the rise of cost of living, utilities getting more and more expensive every month, cost of gas, student loans, and that's not even getting into things like paying for insurance (health, car, home, maybe even pet!) and medications and anything else (clothes, subscriptions, going to eat, hobbies, everything that keeps you from surviving on the bare minimum), like?? Yes, a lot of people live with their parents??? No fucking shit, our global economy is in shambles??? Those kinds of jokes aren't just mean-spirited and cruel for no reason, they're also just completely disconnected from reality and made by people who are either deeply unaware or deeply in denial about how close they are to homelessness with one unexpected bill.

[dmwrites]

Based off of the general silliness of the Sons of the Forest streams with impulse, skizz, grian, and scar

——

“Why did we get a tent this small?”

Impulse, Skizzleman, Grian, and Scar all looked down at the frankly tiny tent they’d just finished assembling together. Night was falling upon the forest they had found themselves in, and the four guys had stopped to set up camp.

“And this is the only tent we have?” Impulse asked incredulously, gesturing at it. “Out of the four of us, no one had the insight to bring another tent?”

“The economy is in shambles.” Grian replied.

“I thought you were our insight.” Skizz said, wrapping an arm around Impulse’s shoulders jovially.

“Yeah, there’s no other tents.” Scar said, having just finished looking through everyone’s bags.

“Well, fellas.” Grian said, clapping his hands together. “Looks like we’re gonna be cuddling tonight.”

Skizz cheered. “Cuddles with the homies? Say less!”

The four fellas got ready for bed, kicking out their campfire that had warmed their dinner before and setting out some wet clothes to dry. Scar, Skizz, and Grian got into the tent, a mess of limbs and blankets and pillows.

“Impulseeeee!” Grian whined. “Get in the cuddle pile so we can go to sleep!”

Impulse looked in on the three and gave them a withering look. “I think I’ll just sleep outside, thanks.”

There was an instant outburst at his statement, groaning and complaining from Skizz and Scar.

“Impulse, please get in the tent. I’ll hold your hand!” Grian said, holding out his hand and giving him the saddest look he could muster.

“I’ll blow everyone in this tent.” Scar said threateningly, holding up a grenade.

“You forgot the ‘up’, buddy.” Skizz said gently, trying not to laugh.

“Ugh, fine.” Impulse sighed, and made his way into the tent. He zipped it up behind them, and lay down next to Grian, as far away as he could be.

“Hey! I thought we were gonna hold hands!” Grian complained.

“Dippledop doesn’t like touchies.” Skizz told Grian and Scar. “It doesn’t stop me from trying to give him good morning kisses. And good night kisses. Speaking of-“ Skizz reached across Scar and Grian, mouth open and tongue out. Impulse grabbed Grian and used him as a meat shield, and Grian got his forehead slobbered on. Grian, naturally, shrieked, and the small tent dissolved into chaos for a moment, until Scar threatened to “blow everyone” again.

The four friends settled down once more, with Skizz and Scar quietly arguing over who would be the big spoon, and Grian refusing to let go of Impulse entirely, even though he was tossing and turning.

“Fellas, I can’t go to sleep without a bedtime story!” Grian said finally, breaking the silence.

“Awww, widdle Gri Gri needs a bedtime story! Do you want some milk and cookies too?” Scar cooed, then failed to dodge Grian’s pillow blow to the face.

“Alright children, settle down. I will tell you a bedtime story.” Skizz said, sitting up. “Once upon a time, there was a handsome man named Skizzleman. He was the hero of the village- sexy, bulging with muscles, attractive-”

“How many abs did he have?” Scar asked sleepily.

“Oh, at least thirty.” Skizz replied.

“Awesome.” Scar said.

“Anyway, the handsome hero of the village and his sidekick, Average Impulse, were fighting off a horde of mobs from a defenseless village.”

“Average Impulse?” Impulse asked, eyebrow raised.

“Oh yes, named for his average size.” Skizz told him knowledgeably. “He was pretty short, too.”

“Alright, that’s enough bedtime story for one night.” Impulse said over Grian and Scar’s snickers.

“But I’m not sleepy yet!” Grian complained.

“Scar could tell you facts about Disney until you fall asleep.” Skizz jokingly suggested.

Scar gasped. “Well, I never finished telling you about discontinued merchandise from the ride-”

“Maybe I just need some silence. Good night everyone.” Grian interrupted, putting his hand over Scar’s mouth and snuggling closer to Impulse. “Love you guys.”

“Love you too.”

“Love all you awesome people.”

“Mrph mph.” Scar said, and Grian took his hand away. “Love you all too.” he said.

The tent became quiet, just slow breathing and the shifting of blankets.

“Man, we’re so going to get attacked in the middle of the night.”

“Oh yeah, definitely.”