#yes the time doesn’t add up to 10 years but there’s a lot of sailing that happens off the page. this is purely for writing purposes.

[pelideswhore]

after long consideration of the limited information available to us, i happily present to you

THE ODYSSEAN CATALOGUE OF THE SHIPS

please behold my masterpiece

[inikavulpixelreviews]

Let’s Talk About Pokemon - The Rolycoly Family

837: Rolycoly

OHHHH!!!! OH OH!!!!! THE COAL MONSTER!!! THAT I PUT ON MY WISHLIST! OH How I instantly fell in love with this little guy when it was first revealed. This design is so neato in its lovable simplicity. At first glance it's little more than a chunky hunk of coal with a single eye. Oh, but they eye GLOWS as if it has coal burning on the inside! That on top of its general body shape makes it look like a living miner's helmet! Hah, how clever and original for a little coal critter!

It even has a unique ability that has it interacting with Fire and Water, boosting the Pokemon's speed if its hit with moves of those type! Cool! And how I LOVE that grumpy little visage it has. It's just a single eye but it still lends so much fun personality to the thing. But Rolycoly comes with a little something extra:

It's on a WHEEL! It has an entire wheel-shaped shard of coal on its underside that allows it to roll around like a unicycle! That is PRECIOUS! And boy howdy has the excitement for what this thing could possibly turn into get me pumped. So many neat Fakemon ideas floating around. That and I absolutely KNEW I was gonna be using a Rolycoly once I started playing the game myself. I just HAVE to see what this coal dude turns into!

Personal Score: 10/10

838: Carkol

Oh, well... hrmmmm. We're not off to a fantastic start, I guess. My instant turn-off on the other side of that evolution screen was that Rolycoly instantly lost its cool cycloptic eye in favor of a much more regular looking face. Why does it just look like Golem's face??? Like I can't stress this enough. If a Pokemon has a unique feature, especially one that is a rarity like a single eye, or a droopy face, or having shaggy hair cover the majority of its face, or even a complete LACK of face, it absolutely should NOT lose these features unless it has a compelling enough reason to, like fulfilling a design theme. There are so little Pokemon that are cycloptic that it's SO ANNOYING that it instantly fails at step 1.

I also don't really like that's already SORTA lost the wheels. They're there, and they function as wheels, but they're behaving a lot more like legs most of the time. It doesn't even keep its glowing eyes. They light up during certain animations but that's it. Nor do I like that a pile of coal is precariously going over its back. It makes it stop looking like a coal monster and just that it's a monster that carries coal. The shape of its back should evoke the look of a mine cart filled with coal and not BE a mine cart full of coal, if you get what I'm saying?

Even if it was just the face that was redone, I would've taken it. But if I could do a little tidying up and redoing of Carkol, it wouldn't take a TON to do it. The basic shape is fine to me, just good lord please give it its face and wheels back.

Personal Score: 5.5/10

...But not all hope is lost just yet! There's loads of Pokemon with a good beginning, and low middle, and a good end. Awkward teenage stage am I right? Even if its face isn't just a single eye anymore, at least it's keeping the wheeled theme! In fact, you could really build off of that! Like making it a train! A TRAIN POKEMON, LIKE ON MY WISHLIST AGAIN! That'd be knocking out two birds with one piece of coal! Surely they couldn't possibly think of ditching that aspect of this line, especially since it's been present in two stages so far! Surely the least possible thing that could happen would be if this almost literal mine cart Pokemon had suddenly lost all its wheels and miraculously turned into a generic bipedal dinosaur that walks like literally any other Pokemon out of nowhere. That’d be like, the worst case scenario. But that wouldn’t happen, right?

...

...Right?

839: Coalossal

Not to come off as blunt right off the gate here but this did it. I didn't think it was gonna be possible. Gallade is no longer my least favorite Pokemon of all time. Because in the end, as much as you could say Gallade sullies the Gardevoir line's unique take on a knight just by association, you can at least IGNORE Gallade. Just evolve your male Kirlia into a Gardevoir anyway because Gardevoir is just better than Gallade in every way anywho. Gallade? Literally WHO??? But Coalossal is impossible to ignore if you were a fan of what Rolycoly was putting down. And even Gallade had a FEW merits to it. Coalossal has almost systematically taken every little bit of what has cool and unique about Rolycoly and thrown it out the window in favor of being an all-around copy-paste job.

Okay, for a moment, let's pretend Rolycoly and Carkol never existed. Coalossal was just a single-stage Pokemon on its own in a cave somewhere or whatever. What about Coalossal is individually unique to it and it alone? Sincerely close to absolutely nothing. No single individual aspect of this design is unique in any way. Want to know the major reason why? Because Coalossal already existed. We've already had Coalossal for about ten years now. But back then, we called it Rhyperior.

I'm personally not a gigantic fan of Rhyperior either, but look at this. This is absolutely comedic. They're the fucking same. They are the SAME creature. Coalossal is nothing but an off-color Rhyperior. Like come ON. At least Rhyperior has the benefit of having is rough body serve a visual motif where it's wearing construction gear, with sound-canceling headphones, complete with wrecking ball tail. A solid rock monster design, even if I personally prefer Rhydon. I can confidently look at Rhyperior and see that it’s gone through revisions, redraws, and polishes to make it unique even in its own evolutionary line.

Can I say the same for Coalossal? I honestly can't say I do. With Rhyperior fresh in mind, what's Coalossal's visual motif? It's made of coal, I guess? Its face SORT OF looks like a cowcatcher on a train. But here's a question, why doesn't it look MORE like a train if train was clearly a motif they wanted to go with? If it's a train monster, why is it bipedal in the first place?

The only bit of its design that's even a little eye-catching is the pile of coal clumsily piled onto its shoulders, but I already said why I don't like that. It makes it look like Coalossal itself isn't a coal monster, it just carries coal around. Besides, most well-done designs aught to still have at least some value to them even if you took away one aspect of said design. Rhyperior with a plain tail with no wrecking ball is still a funny construction site rhino man. Even Carkol with no coal on its back would've still been a weirdo mine cart monster. Coalossal without the pile of coal is just naked Rhyperior.

Things only get worse when you add Carkol and especially Rolycoly back into the equation. Rolycoly's unique features were that it was a coal monster with one eye, riding on a wheel and it's shaped like an object. Carkol at least continues most of this, mostly ridding of the single eye thing. Coalossal gets rid of all that's left. No more wheels, no more object shapes, no more fun, it's just a coal thing now. Literally the first thing that comes to your mind when you think “I want to make a coal monster.” A rough draft in monster design form, printed and published for the full release.

I have to wonder, how many questions of whether this looked good or not the decisions to make in a train monster but also a bipedal dinosaur-thing was a well enough thought-through idea? Is being a dinosaur with a cowcatcher on its head visually interesting? More visually interesting than its previous stages, where it had far more visual motifs going on? Was it a conscious decision to say yes or was there a time crunch where they had to settle on a “close enough” design to pad out the Pokedex?

And you know what's more than likely the thing that murdered this line? Time.

I feel bad for possibly implying it was going to be nothing but smooth sailing this Gen when I made my little Sword and Shield pre-review. Because the more I've dug into Gen 8 the more I've realized how many designs in here are heavily flawed. And I can only blame the very evident drop in quality on the clear lack of time Gamefreak has these days. Generations are getting shorter and shorter and it's starting to show. Had SwSh not happened for another couple years, I guarantee I wouldn't be making this rant right now. This kind of blunder is simply so uncharacteristic of Gamefreak's art department. Like say what you will about the games themselves but Pokemon's been running strong from Gens 5 to 7. It's hard to believe the same company that made creatures like Mimikyu, Buzzwole, Sigilyph, or Pumpkaboo churned out Coalossal here.

Here, I'll embarrass myself and share a bit of concept art of a personal project of mine. These designs aren't too terribly spectacular, are they? That's because they're just the rough drafts. The very first instance of me drawing a creature in order to have their design idea on paper, because I can flesh them out later. They’re very wonky looking, weirdly generic at best because later on, “Ash Wolf” there would later become...

“Billowolf”. And heck, it’s plenty possible that it’ll go through one more redesign or so before I’m fully satisfied with it. Coalossal feels like the former. A sketchbook doodle of a “coal dinosaur” base idea that was meant to be more fleshed out later but wasn’t given the opportunity.

And I'm noticing more and more that this is gonna be a repeat complaint going into Gen 8. Lots of ideas with decent or even excellent potential not being lived up to because the designs haven't been through enough revisions. We're well aware of an internal approval process that happens within Gamefreak for these Pokemon to get accepted, and I can only wonder if they just settled with “good enough” designs simply because they were running out of time. Like for PETE'S sake this annual release schedule needs to stop. I hope this new trend of DLC will alleviate the Pokemon Rush. Hell, I'd encourage it so long as they're fairly priced and maybe even bring in a handful of new Pokemon designs each. It's not quite a year off the constant Poketrain but DLC is a lot easier to make than an entirely new game or even a “deluxe edition”. I don't care if we go back to a release schedule of one generation per major Nintendo system. Just let these guys have the time and leeway to do their dang jobs without the stress of ridiculously tight deadlines. There's still so much talent within Gamefreak and it's maybe easy to forget that they're the ones that made the more beloved entries in the series back before they forced a game out almost every year.

And to be clear I DO NOT mean to say all this to shame whoever designed Coalossal, even if they themselves are proud of it. Nor am I shaming anyone that does like Coalossal (just given I’ve gotten comments before acting like I’m being the opinion police with this review series.) Alarmingly enough, my taste isn’t law! And that’s fine. I’m just wondering if the higher-ups on the art team have given Coalossal a pass under less time-constrained circumstances? Or would they have sent it back in to go a few more rounds in a feedback loop? The basic point of this rant is just

Obviously, I'd want this line to follow through on the train motif and have Coalossal actually be a goddang train. And of course keep the single eye.

I do hear one of the defenses of Coalossal being dinosaur-shaped being that “it's a fossil fuel coming back to life.” If that was the intention, that should've been the theme from the very start instead of the rolling wheel idea. (Even under this light, I still wouldn't call Coalossal a very good design. It's far too generic to be doing even that cool idea justice. If that WAS the idea, I’d say it’d be way cooler to do a monster that’s moreso crudely trying to imitate the look of a dinosaur.)

...Awkward thing is, Coalossal wound up sticking in my team for the whole game. Mostly because I wasn't sure if any more new Fire types would be coming afterward (there weren't) so. My Sword team has my least favorite Pokemon on it. I still love ya though, Obsidius. It's not your fault your design wasn't finished. ):

Personal Score: 1/10

I'm sorry if it feels like I'm just dunking on Pokemon after Pokemon here. I PROMISE there's some Pokemon I'm excited to talk about coming up later. In fact, oooh, Applin's next! Applin will be a good palette cleanser, yes.

G-Max Coalossal:

Oh yeah, Coalossal has a G-Max form too. It's better, I'll give it that, and it SORTA brought the wheel thing back but only in having tire-shaped thighs. Pbbbth. The scale is imposing and at least its eyes look a little bit cooler again. I can't bring myself to like it much better just by association with Coalossal. It's fine, I guess. I'm not even gonna rate it. I just don’t like it. It’s fine. Eh.

[Archive]

[hmel78]

In conversation with Anthony Phillips ...

1967 – the World watched on as San Francisco experienced it’s ‘Summer Of Love’, and listened on as music reached the dizzy heights of psychedelic rock; Classical music seemed to be drowned out by the screams accompanying  The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Who … Meanwhile, at Charterhouse school - one of Great Britain’s finest ‘public’ educational establishments in the idyllic English county of Surrey - a handful of budding young musicians, were busily trying to prove to their masters that banning guitar practice as a punishment for missed homework, would not stop the musical revolution that had begun to happen within it’s own splendid Gothic walls! Unsurprisingly, there is a noteable list of ‘Old Carthusians’ – including the composer Ralph Vaughan Williams, amongst numerous artists, actors, poets , sportsmen, TV personalities, journalists, politicians, and Bishops! – but we doubt that they could ever have imagined that they would also nurture, and eventually include in that list, the founder members of a band called … ‘Genesis’. Perhaps you have heard of them?

Peter Gabriel, Michael Rutherford, Tony Banks, Christopher Stewart, and … Anthony Phillips. Despite his departure from the band in 1970, Ant has never strayed from his musical path.   His solo discography boasts in excess of 30 albums; in addition to that he enjoys an incredibly busy, and successful career as a TV and ‘library’ composer; and has been involved with a number of musical projects including collaborations with fellow ‘Genesis’ band mates Mike Rutherford, Phil Collins, and Peter Gabriel -  but it hasn’t all been plain sailing …   Helen Robinson, caught up with him to find out more : HR - So where did your musical journey begin?

AP - I was pretty much self taught at school. I studied music later, but in the beginning I was self taught. I briefly had guitar lessons from a chap who was very impressive. My mum used to buy me the Beatles sheet music, and kindly send it down to me at ‘Charterhouse’ – and this chap  would just look at them and read from the piano score, with guitar ‘shapes’ written in fret numbers as opposed to tablature – and he would play the chords and the melody on this beautiful classical guitar. I just wanted to be able to strum the chords to the songs and sing along really, and I think at the time he was a bit disappointed that I wasn’t prepared to go the classical route … Anyway I didn’t.   Then formed a band at school – doing Rolling Stones,  Beatles, Kinks, Animals, The Shadows  - Hank was a big influence - and that took me up to starting to write my own stuff; A lot of it with Mike Rutherford. I met Mike when I was 13 – the other Genesis guys were quite a bit older so we didn’t get together with them for a couple of years. The school band – The Anon - was people more my age. I was the babe of Genesis!

HR - Indeed – and with that in mind, how much input did they allow you to have on the debut album – “From Genesis To Revelation”?

AP - The first album I didn’t do an enormous amount of writing – it was very much dominated by Peter Gabriel and Tony Banks.   The second album – “Trespass” -  was much more of a ‘group’ album. In fact, myself and Mike were responsible for the basis of 3 or 4 of the tracks on “Trespass”. “Visions of Angels” was my piano track originally. Songs like “Looking For Someone” were Peter Gabriel songs that the rest of us developed the instrumentals around. I had a reasonable amount of stuff on “Genesis To Revelation”, but Mike had very little – we came much more into play on ‘Trespass’.

HR - You’d left the band by the time their 3rd album was released. Did they take any of your ideas forward into “Nursery Cryme”? AP - Actually, I was responsible for mucking about with a few ideas that ended up on the album, way before I left   - Mike had this weird tuning of F# which we played about on.  That song became “The Musical Box” later – so, yes, a couple of ideas made it.

HR - Do you ever listen back to the first two albums, and hear things that you would change?

AP - I don’t often listen, no - and I haven’t listened to them enough to have any really strong thoughts. I think if you don’t listen for a while then it’s quite pleasant. If you have a period away from these things, you tend to forget what you thought was wrong,  so then it’s not so bad – but I must say that when you listen repeatedly, then you start to think “oh dear”, I could have done that differently. We all felt that the business of putting strings on “Genesis To Revelation”  - which necessitated reducing the backing track to mono -was a bit of a disaster.   Whilst our playing wasn’t the best, the album had a rough, raw power to it which, that process of adding these high wheeling strings to, made it lose something, and anodyne, perhaps. I know that our producer was trying to give it a more commercial edge, which I understand, but I don’t think it really came off -  and it was at some cost too!

HR - Would you re-record or re-mix any of it again now, in your own way?

AP - No I don’t think so.  I think it is of its time really.   The other thing of course is that it’s physically impossible now.   That reduction process, means that things were erased, so we can’t get back to the original stages even if we wanted to. That’s all changed now, mercifully, with computers . You can get back to any stage these days – providing you remember to save it!

HR – Ah, yes!  The wonders of modern technology.  And … NOT saving things! [laughs]

AP - Yes – we’ve all done it!!!  It’s all so easily done. We take too much for granted with technology. You can become over reliant on it, and lazy! I do fall into that trap myself sometimes actually – musically. I don’t think enough about original sounds I just tend to buy virtual instruments. T hey are wonderful, but if you think back to albums like  [The Beach Boys], “Pet Sounds” and [The Beatles] “Sgt Pepper”, those sounds were created, they weren’t just there at the push of a button!

HR - I know you’re quite experimental with your solo work … Once you’d left Genesis , how easy was it to move into a more classical sound with your compositions?

AP - I found it difficult! I could play by ear, but learning to read music at the age of 18 was incredibly hard to grasp. It was a different discipline of course, of not looking at the guitar or the piano, whilst reading music. My motivation in doing it, was because I wanted the ability to orchestrate ; Not having had that set of skills in Genesis , we couldn’t really have any input into the orchestral approach because we simply didn’t really understand it. Tony Banks did more than the rest of us, although he wasn’t orchestrally trained, but he could read music. So I wanted the power to orchestrate. It wasn’t simply about being able to read music, or being able to play piano pieces – It was definitely to understand notation, so that I could write orchestral pieces. I had a ‘Road to Damascus’, if you like,  after I left Genesis, and listened to all sorts of composers. “The Karelia Suite”, by Sibelius, was my epiphany. I suddenly thought “this doesn’t sound like classical music!”. I must have listened to the wrong things, or maybe my ears weren’t ready to listen as a child, so I had a lot of catching up to do. There was a huge ‘pop’ / ‘Classical’ divide as I was growing up in the 60s – it was rancorous between the establishment and the young tear-aways, and hippies.   It was a wonderful voyage of discovery though, but frustrating at the same time –  technically -  I loved doing Bach ‘Chorales’ and things like that, but some of the exercises I had to do, I found quite dull.

HR - Having honed your skills then,  did you find that it made a difference to the music that you wanted to write? Did you find yourself wanting to bridge the gap between pop and classical – through a ‘progressive’ angle?

AP - Hmmm, Bridge the gap is interesting. It didn’t make a great deal of difference to me in terms of the progressive wing of my writing – I think I would have grown into that anyway.

With Genesis - There were some moments which were quasi classical, but I don’t think they bridged the gap really, no. Tony Banks was very familiar with the classical repertoire, so you could argue that his chord sequences were classically influenced. What studying  did for me, was give me the ability to do - with the more markedly classical wing of things (although you may argue that it’s a fine line to distinguish which bits are prog, and which are classical!) –  was cope with them better.

On “The Geese And The Ghost” for instance, having studied orchestration, and knowing how to write the parts, I didn’t have to get an arranger in. I could think for myself and make my own judgments on which instrument to add where. Plus – arrangers inevitably, like anyone else, tend to have their own styles which then reflect on the piece, which might be good, but it might not be necessarily what you want. So it really did help me in that respect.

HR - Genesis certainly didn’t carry any of that vibe forward, into their commercial phase …

AP - No! Well, the post Gabriel group gradually became more and more commercial didn’t they. Phil Collins and Peter Gabriel were quite different animals really - Obviously Peter did some successful commercial things afterwards. To be fair to them [Genesis], it would have been very difficult to carry on that way – especially post punk, and disco eras. There was almost a unilateral, multilateral, Palace revolution, that everyone had to start doing that! It became very unfashionable to be ‘prog’ and have such complicated long and drawn out pieces of music.

My timing was peccable -  I’m not sure there is such a word, but I like it anyway! - coming back into the business, because I walked straight into the teeth of punk! Whilst I had nothing against it, in the sense that if I had been 10 years younger I would have been doing the same thing –what I did object to, was being asked to go into reverse gear, and start doing simple pop stuff, because I’d out grown it.

So I think it actually, for the purposes of the market, became very difficult for groups to stay true to their former selves and continue to produce classically based music. I don’t think it was a conscious direction on behalf of a lot of groups to start to simplify their music, they just were not given much choice.   It didn’t do England a great deal of credit the way that everyone cashed in on that - there was so much clichéd nonsense around and people were saying “this music hasn’t got any balls!”. In a lot of European countries and the States, different styles were able to co-exist much better, than here in the UK. It was the fault of the record companies rather than a lot of the punk musicians really - they were just happy doing their own thing, but there was a lot of unpleasantness at that time. There were a lot of people who were heroes one day, and then being knifed in the back the day after by the people who had been adulating them! Which wasn’t anything to be terribly proud about …

HR - Not at all! But, something to be proud about is this lovely re-issue of your debut solo album “The Geese And The Ghost”!

AP - Yes!  Absolutely! It’s just come out again, and in surround sound too, which is the first time I have had a surround sound album, and they have done a fantastic job with it! Particularly the instrumentals – it really does make a difference to have that experience of surround sound. And they’re releasing limited editions on Vinyl too, which is fabulous because that is when the artwork really comes into it’s own. Vinyl seems to be having a bit of a revival, which is great! MP3s are OK, but the sound is pretty impoverished really one you’ve narrowed the bandwidth of the sound. It sounds like a different album really, with that treatment! HR - When you started work on “The Geese And The Ghost” originally - Did you write it from a fresh perspective or was it something that you had brought forward from Genesis?

AP - It was actually written from a period as far back as 1969 / 1970. Things that Mike [Rutherford] and I had played around with then. There were some additions and refinements made between 1973 / 1974. Recording began in 1974, although the main body of it was done in 1975 – which is actually 40 years ago, isn’t that terrible?! And then, because they were now unfashionable times, we really struggled to get it released - so it didn’t come out until early 1977, by which time some of that material was over 7 years old!

HR - When you were selecting musicians to work with, what influenced your decision to ask Phil Collins and not Peter Gabriel?

AP - Well, Mike and I wrote together, and Peter and Tony [Banks] wrote together -  when we came together as a group, that modified a little, but that initial pairing pretty much stayed the same way. So, because Mike and I had all this unreleased music – which was frustrating –at the earliest opportunity ; at a time where solo albums looked like a possibility - we wanted to use this material. We had done a single with Phil in 1973 which ironically was written about the previous Genesis drummer, Jonathan Silver, who was on the first album.  I had written this with Mike – a very uncharacteristic kid of loose country song called “The Silver Song” and Phil came down and sang the demo and did such a great job of it. You see, Peter was married, so whenever we had any time off - he went home to spend it with Jill ; whereas Phil was foot loose and fancy free and had tons of energy. The single never got released for various reasons, but when it came to “The Geese And The Ghost” he was the obvious choice because the three of us had worked together before. HR - I’m glad you mentioned Jonathan Silver there –  with regards to him, and John Mayhew – were they just hired guns for the early Genesis albums or did they have creative input?

AP - No, they weren’t hired guns as such, but by the same token they didn’t have a huge input, but we did group compositions on all the tracks on those first 2 albums –  so whilst they weren’t writing huge swaythes of chord sequences, they were putting in little bits here and there. Jon Silver was full of energy and ideas about arranging and how things were connected. HR - We never really get to know the dynamics of the early stuff, which is why I was curious. It has always seemed to me, that Phil Collins became Genesis … or is that an unfair judgment?

AP - Well he had the big commercial success and I don’t think it would have been easy to keep him unless he had the lion share of the writing credits, although I think they’ve shared the credits pretty well … I think it’s sad to see him fall so far from all of that these days, with the press in particular, but he was colossally successful, and I think the group would have been looking the gift horse in the mouth if they hadn’t run with Phil.

The media can be so cruel. I remember a duel review of “The Geese And The Ghost” being handed to me from the states. One called it a “mellow rock classic”, the other said it was “music to wash dishes to” … and sadly you seem only to remember the bad ones!

And do you know, that it was the album that very nearly never came out?!! It sat on a shelf whilst punk roared away, and I’d given up on it to be honest. It was 15 months between finishing it and it being picked up to be released.   For the first 3 or 4 months I was quite hopeful;  by new year  1976 I was beginning to lose hope, and by the summer I was definitely starting to think about other things, and applying to go to music college full time.  

It was a pretty soul destroying time – I’d spent a lot of time and energy on it; a lot of angst , and thought, apart from hard work, had gone into it … And then right at the 11th hour, while I was going for auditions to music college for the following year  - suddenly it was picked up by an American record company. It was never actually released on a formal English record company label - it was released by the Genesis management company with whom I was with at the time – ‘Hit And Run’ – so like I say it’s the album that nearly never was!

HR - If it hadn’t been picked up then, do you think you’d have given it another shot down the line?

AP - No … I don’t actually. I think I would have gone to music college, and ...   Good point! What would I have done at the end of it?   I think I would have carried on composing, definitely, but I’m not quite sure where I would have come out at the other end, because the progressive scene had long gone, when I finished college in 1979– [laughs] Yes - in a parallel world what would I have done?   I have absolutely no idea! I would probably have ended up as a music teacher.

HR - Did you teach, at some point?

AP - Yes … yes I did funnily enough. Whilst I was studying, I taught classical guitar - which helped me a lot. I had always played acoustic guitar, but didn’t play proper finger style - my right hand was quite basic, so I studied classical guitar as well as piano when I left Genesis, and teaching then helped me to pass the Classical Guitar teachers exams (as opposed to the performers diploma). I taught at a couple of different schools. One was Pepper Harrow ; which was like a progressive borstal for kids who were very bright, but who’d fallen foul of authority - not so badly that had to be interned, as it were.   A great number of them had come from some pretty horrific backgrounds, but a number of them have gone on to do great things. Some of them were brilliant musicians!   I remember wondering what I was letting myself in for initially, but it’s something that I look back on with a great deal of affection. They weren’t just guitar lessons – they were much more -  the music was a vital part of these guys rehabilitation.

HR - Sounds like you’d have made a fantastic teacher, had all else failed! Given that “The Geese And The Ghost” almost didn’t happen – did that fill you with confidence to carry on to do the next album straight away, or had it discouraged you a little?

AP - Oh I’ve had more than my fair share of discouragement over the years! The album that came directly afterwards was “Wise After The Event” and I was immediately told that it had to be an album of songs – the writing was on the wall for these straggly instrumental albums -  and it was time to crank up the electric guitar into a heavier rock genre, or don’t bother turning up, kind of thing.

“Sides” was originally going to be called “Balls”, which was cocking-a-snook at people for saying that my music didn’t have enough balls! At the time it seemed to me to be so ludicrous to have this blanket approach across all music  - so that’s why we had the cover with the table football table on it - But the powers that be, over-ruled “Balls” and we had to change it to “Sides” ; because it did have one side that was more overtly commercial than the other, which is a little more instrumental.

I was lucky at that point, because the “Private Parts and Pieces” idea just came out of the blue really. I had been recording and stockpiling quite a lot throughout the year when nothing was happening with “The Geese And The Ghost”, and I asked if it might be possible, as a foil to this more rock orientated stuff, to be able to release an album of piano pieces, guitar pieces – sort of home recordings, which made up in their atmosphere and mood, what they lacked in technical perfection - and they said yes!  

The first X of “Sides” was released as “Private Parts And Pieces” - as a freebie.   It wasn’t actually “Private Parts and Pieces I” because it was a one off, but that numbering thing became sort of a generic term for my albums which were more homespun and simple – you know, small scale, as opposed to the more magnum opuses.

Not that I was able to do a Magnum Opus for quite a while! There was the “Invisible Men” album, which had a certain amount of record company backing, but that was again released around the time of the ‘New Romantics’ – more bad timing! I’d just bought my first house, and was under huge financial pressure with about 18 lodgers to pay the mortgage!   So there was big pressure on to have hit singles and get paid, and so I didn’t do another full scale album for about another 6 years. I was lucky to still have this  ‘outlet’, with the small scale releases, to continue to get some music out there during the 80s  - when the climate was very much against the more classical stuff -  at least I did continue to get piano, guitar, synth - slightly more imaginative stuff - out there, but all very much on a small scale.

Thinking about it, it was actually a full 7 years gap before I had the opportunity to do another large scale album at the end of the 80s. It was a frustrating time that too,  I can tell you. I had rather a chequered career for a while. I was doing a lot of songwriting, and aiming it at other artists. We would keep getting close, but then, the management would lose the artist, or the album was canned. They weren’t collaborations or anything, but we had some placements in the works for Sheena Easton, Roger Daltry and people like that, but they never worked out. We had a song covered by Bucks Fizz – who promptly had a coach crash! So I had a run of bad luck with that really. It was an interesting time –  I was trying allsorts of different things whilst my own music wasn’t making much money, and whilst trying to pay for the new house. It didn’t quite come to being a cat burglar, or an assassin, but I did give it some serious thought!

HR - Your celebrity friends could have hired you to assassinate the music press …

AP - [laughs] Yes …

HR - Is there anyone in particular, that you would like to collaborate with? AP - I thought you were going to say Assassinate! I don’t know these days … about collaborations … Mike and I were always a good team but we have gone in different directions now.   I’m not sure that he’s interested in doing complicated instrumental stuff any longer.   He did ask me if I wanted to be involved with the Mike and Mechanics albums, but I knew that I couldn’t see the whole project through with the touring and everything, which is what he needed.   And it’s not necessarily my bag if I’m honest, although I very much respect what he’s achieved. I think maybe we’ve gone too far down different roads now to make anything work. Steve Hackett and I have talked about writing together a few times, but it’s always risky when someone is your friend. Working relationships do change things, and I’m not sure I’d want to risk my friendship with Steve!

With my TV library music, I do collaborate with quite a lot of people then anyway, so I’m not one of these musicians who doesn’t want to work with anybody else.

HR - When are you at your happiest then?  When you’re working on solo stuff and you’re completely in control of it (and I’m not insinuating that you’re a control freak!)  …

AP - Ha, NO! Actually, a great friend of mine calls my studio the spaceship! And I’m completely happy in there when I’m just mucking about with all the wonderful synth sounds, creating tapestries of colour with sound – Love it!

And also playing guitar, which increasingly seems to happen late at night in front of the TV. Just picking up a guitar – 12 String or Classical – when these ideas enter my head at absurd times of the day. On the recordings you can invariably hear Alan Hansen and Match Of The Day commentary in the background! And I do actually present demos to my library producer, with TV programmes going on in the background.

HR - What  sort of boundaries are in place with your Library writing? Can you remain true to your ‘album’ style, or are you tied  to a  brief?

AP - I have a lot more freedom these days to create some varied pieces – guitar, synth – it’s very varied, and that’s what I love about it, but it’s hugely competitive, and the recession spawned a lot of ‘under-cutting’ -  the market is flooded, and the rates of pay have dropped! I feel very fortunate to have done well at a time when it was less competitive, and to have continued to do it. It’s incumbent on me to keep writing as much as possible -  I can’t afford to take my foot off the peddle. So when things come up, I don’t ever really have a blank page because of the stockpile of guitar, piano , synth, and orchestral library pieces already down – I have all of this material ready to go, rather than start from scratch. Some of them are slightly rough and would need to be redone, but the mood is there, and if someone came to me tomorrow asking for such and such, I would hope that I have something that would suit. Unless they asked for a bagpipe concerto. I haven’t got one of those. It’s unlikely to happen, but you never know …

HR - So when we end this conversation, you’re going to go and write one …

AP - [laughs]They’re not a pretty sound when people turn them off you know! What they don’t tell you is that when they’re warming up and cooling down they sound like a sick cow! It is a racket! We had a funny incident on the road with Genesis actually. Peter Gabriel was a little bit accident prone, and slightly absent minded on stage, and used to play the accordion in Stagnation, a bit – in quite an unconventional way, not like jolly French stuff with the onions and the beret - but he would put it down during a very quiet section and if he didn’t put it down properly, it would make this kind of squealing noise going off into the distance, and suddenly we would sound like a John Cage outfit! People would look up completely startled! Another thing he would do – he was a good flute player but struggled with an A flat in “The Knife” which was our closing song – and Tony Banks had to remind him before we went on, that you had to tweek the flute to tune it by a semi-tone. Occasionally Tony would forget to tell him, and Peter wouldn’t remember;  The lights would dim, and we’d be ready for this lovely moody bit, and BANG! He would come in a semi tone out!  That was pretty tense I can tell you! I love all of those instruments …

HR - What’s your favorite instrument?

AP - Ooooh Tricky. I think pushed to answer that, I’d have to say 12 string guitar 1st, followed very closely by piano, Classical guitar 3rd, and underwater sousaphone 4th …

HR - And, may I say you play all 4 brilliantly!

AP - Aww thanks …

HR - I’ll look forward to your underwater sousaphone symphony at some point, amidst the forthcoming re-releases! Were you looking at reworking your back catalog, or was it something that you were approached to do?

AP - They approached me!  [Cherry Red / Esoteric Records]. Not to put too finer point on it but I make the majority of my living from my TV music, and the album work has always been a very nice foil to that, but it’s not been my bread and butter, as it were. I’m probably one of the only artists who has ever said to a record company – “are you really sure you want to do this?” And they did, so I was a bit surprised really! I gathered they were in the business of picking up back catalogs– and I hate the world ‘cult’ – but of people who have ‘cult’ followings, and it felt like entirely the right thing to do. It feels a safe place to be, and with a decent company who have their act together; after having had so many years of uncertainty with this stuff.

HR - How much influence did you have over the way that the 2014 anthology “Harvest Of The Heart”, was put together?

AP - Not a lot actually, but entirely by choice. I wrote a little bit for the blurb on the boxset, but as far as choosing what songs to include – I couldn’t make the decision. It was too difficult – I mean, I dither anyway, at the best of times!  And I’m not in any way trying to imply with arrogance that this is all so wonderful, but it was just too hard for me to decide. I’m not a good judge of what other people would have wanted, and to be frank I don’t like listening to a lot of it anyway, once I have done it, otherwise I start to pick it all apart and convince myself that I could have done better … So I was very happy to leave it up to Jonathan Dann, who runs my website ; and Mark Powell (Boss of Cherry Red), who went through all of it. He deserves a medal for that!

HR - I know it’s unfair to ask an artist what their favourite piece of their own music is, but – do you have one?

AP - The albums I’m most proud of , would be “The Geese And The Ghost”, and an album called “Slow Dance” ; which was the first album that I did when I came back after that 7 year hiatus in the wilderness, as it were …

HR - Was that [Slow Dance] released under your own steam outside of record label jurisdiction?

AP - It was actually! I did that off my own bat, and once again ended up having a bad time of it! We’d done an album called “Tarka”, and there was a bit of an upturn in the 80s with the ‘new age’ boom. I’d been doing what was effectively ‘new age’ for a while, but suddenly people realised that, after about 5 years! So I borrowed some money from my management company to crank up my gear, in order to enable me to do a larger scale record. This was in lieu of a small advance from the record company, who then went bust! So the rights to my songs were impounded, under US laws, and my catalogs were frozen (as assets) in the states for a number of years and I couldn’t get them back -  so it was a pretty chaotic period in terms of America, but also I had to finish what I had started here! So I pressed on with this album, very much in debt, because I’d bought the gear, but then hadn’t got the advance to pay it off! Looking back I’m not sure how I kept going really because the record was very complicated … But I did have an ulterior motive which was to try and secure a publishing deal with the then’ Virgin Publishing’ under Richard Branson. I don’t to this day think he realises what he let go of when he sold it on to EMI – it was such a wonderful company to be a part of. Ultimately, I got a deal, which got me out of the mire;  I finished what became “Slow Dance” and then Virgin came in and released ALL of my albums onto CD for the first time, so I was very fortunate then. I owed a lot to that record in the end. But it was a real blood, sweat, and tears album, and it wasn’t just mentally painful to listen to afterwards – it was literally physically painful too ; I would writhe around and cringe listening to it because I spent too long on it, and it sounded awful to me. It tried to do too much. It’s quite filmic, and unabashedly lyrical - It’s very orchestral at times and some of it is artificial; the sounds at that stage weren’t particularly brilliant and in hindsight it would have benefitted from more real orchestra. I think I could listen to it now … There is a two year rule – don’t listen for something you did for two years, and you’ll forget what was wrong with it!

HR - Would you re-record it, now?

AP - Well – it’s one of the things that will come up for discussion, funnily enough,  because we are planning to release some more in surround sound, but it has to be practical to do because it’s a very expensive process, and Cherry Red are very fair, but they know we possibly won’t sell a million copies. I would like to do “Slow Dance” yes. I think any of the orchestral albums would really benefit from being in Surround Sound. The bigger it is, the more there is going on, and the more you can throw around the room. The re-release schedule is a bit torturous actually. Up next is “Private Parts and Pieces” with a bonus CD of material from the time, and  … I don’t want to give too much else away really, but we will be doing more … maybe “Tarka”, eventually.

HR - Would you like to get any of your compositions to a point where an orchestra could perform it live? AP - Oh You bet! I’d love it!! There was a performance of “Tarka” in Australia, but it was with a scratch orchestra, so a rather mixed affair. It’s quite hard [Tarka] although it’s not an incredibly difficult score, but it needs some very good players to do it justice. These things are just so incredibly expensive to put together though, aren’t they?

HR - Yes, they are! Do you ever perform?

AP - I don’t … no. My experience with Genesis made me very tentative about performing, but to be honest - the thing that I enjoy most is composing. I’m a terrible practicer! The process of playing something over and over again, just bores me to tears!

HR - How about conducting then? AP - Gosh no, I’m not a good enough conductor – I did study it for a while, briefly, but I’d be much better on a bus! I know the moves, and the beats, but it’s that business of making the left hand totally independent of what’s going on with the right hand – that’s really difficult.  It’s an extraordinary art! And when I go to see an orchestra, the conductor always seems to be so far ahead, that I can’t ever put it together!! When I was first studying I used to get the orchestra seats behind the Albert Hall proms, which are  the ones behind the Orchestra where you’re looking directly at the conductor – and some of the conductors seemed to be so far ahead of the orchestra, that we used to joke that the conductor would be in the dressing room toweling down, whilst the orchestra were still finishing off! I don’t understand it!! It’s one thing that I do regret in life actually – I would have loved to have been in the middle of a big phat orchestra when something like the  “Rites Of Spring” [Stravinsky]  or “The Planets” [Holst] is being played.  That must be amazing! Even to just play the triangle or something!  I’d love to do that …

HR - There’s always time!  What about your life outside of music? Do you ever divert from your musical routes?

AP - [laughs] It would seem not to the untrained eye eh? I have a lot of friends and probably spend too much time socialising, and eating out, so I burn the candle at both ends too often. I spend a lot of time with my nieces and nephews, and God-children – I don’t have kids of my own but keeping up with all of them makes life pretty full! It is a difficult balance to keep because I really can’t afford to fall behind with work stuff and that involves an endless amount of mind boggling admin with the album career, and for composing for the library - I have to keep up with all the new technology in the studio, and the new sounds – endless changes! I love sports ; all sorts of sports … I’m a big film man  - love films. Probably my favourite music is in film scores these days. My big musical heroes are film composers – amongst many, my favourites are  Ennio Morricone : particularly ”Cinema Paradiso” and the wonderful ”Gabriel’s Oboe” from ’The Mission; John Williams, ”Schindlers List”; George Fenton , ”Shadowlands”; Thomas Newman ,  ”Shawshank Redemption”; Hans Zimmer,  James Newton Howard,  Alan Silvestri and many others … so, yes! How do I actually find time to work? That is the question ...  Not too long after we’d had this chat, Ant got the opportunity to work on a re-release of “Slow Dance” ; here’s the verdict ...  HR : So the ultimate question is, forced to listen to it again, have you grown fonder of Slow Dance during the re-mastering, for this re-release?AP :  My own view in general, which I appreciate may be very different to that of other musicians, is that when you come back to an album not having heard it for ages, it has novelty value and you think ‘that’s not bad at all’….! That’s why i prescribe the ‘two year rule’. Don’t listen to a piece, album, whatever, for a while and you will forget what it was that you are aspiring to that made you feel dissatisfied with its original outcome !Alas, repeated listens gradually bring back the issues that worried you at the time ! And the more time spent on an album (in my case Slow Dance, Geese were particular long campaigns) the worse it is. QBG and I flew through PP3 in the lovely summer of 1981 and it all remained fresh and therefore untarnished in one’s memory. This naturally makes us completely unobjective when it comes to judging our work ! Slow Dance was such a painstaking haul that when I finished it I found it excruciating to listen to.You have a mystical image of how a piece should sound and capturing this remains tantalisingly elusive !   Perhaps this very frustration is what drives you on to try and do better …?So yes, at first pleasantly surprised, with a few reservation, then gradually I began to feel ‘could have done that better - in many instances !But there are sections that I am still quite proud of and I know it is a piece that has been a moving experience for number of people……. HR : When last we spoke, You were enjoying the opportunity to take your recordings into the surround sound arena - has this one surpassed your expectations?AP : The Surround was a tough one : the toughest of all the re-releases thus far….Perhaps not harmonically but certainly in terms of the arrangement, the album was in parts very intricate and both the balance and flow hung by a thread. Any slight change and the wheels would come off. And they did ! It presented an almost insurmountable challenge to Simon Heyworth and Andy Miles, as there were effects on outboard gear (now either absent or defunct !) that weren’t recorded to tape and therefore had to be somehow ‘reconstructed’.  On the other hand instrumental albums such as this and particularly 1984 ( a feast for the guys with all the weird, tricky sounds lending themselves well to sonic spatial manipulation !) do benefit from  the size and ambience that 5.1 affords. So my considered view is that the more ambient, floaty parts benefit greatly whilst other sections slightly less so….But what does the musician / composer’s view count…..? It is only the audience’s opinions that ultimately counts ! I am happy that we try to give anyone repurchasing these albums enough extra material to make it feel worth it !

[tabletopjourneys]

Session 29 Notes

Completing fae deals and sailing out to sea with magic whales and a fortune in ambergris. Tags: @aradow @gher-bear @telurin @epimetal

On this day we successfully trick our way into completing Ixayl’anu’s bargain with Diem’s patron without having to fight anything. Said patron then immediately turns around to have Diem hold on to the item retrieved for awhile - the chaotic deck of many things. Diem and Ixayl’anu then deliver the fungus sample and make arrangements for possibly more samples and by-journal communications with the fungus expert, Professor Whitskey. Afterwards, we all set sail the next day for Anesh to continue our main quest. On the voyage, we encounter weirdness that includes a vanishing crew member and a group of whales doing ancient singing magics alongside and under the ship for a part of the voyage. It doesn’t seem to have anything to do with the meteors though. Ixayl’anu helps us discover and haul in some ambergris that’s gonna be worth tons of $$$$.   *Details below the “Keep Reading” break*

(Additional details noted before we knock on Dima’s door.) We agree that at some point while we’re all in the room, Phi found a good time  to tell us about Averni being run by vampires. This will possibly get threaded into a previous notes session if I find a good place. Either way, it happened.

Phi would have also told us during fae deal planning that Dima is a follower of Selune the moon goddess and that he’s pretty much not very tolerant/caring about other religions/gods/goddesses

Together we all figure out what Selune’s about, slightly a trickster (but not really the aspect Dima follows), for sailors, the moon and the night, etc.

(The visit with Dima - ‘Waiting Room’)

Ixayl’anu walks up to the door, Alfred the butler opens the door and looks at our ragtag bunch, spotting Phi in the back. “Yes, can I help you?”

Phi: We were wanting to talk to Dima, something’s come up.

Butler: Mr. Lenkov is in a meeting with Aristin Pilwickin (cousin 2nd removed) currently, but you can certainly come in and wait until they are done.

Phi: Yes it’s that important, we can wait.

Rest of us: Yeah we’re okay with waiting.

Phi: How’s it going Alfred? 

Al: *steps back opens door, responds*

Phi continues making small talk.

As we walk past the doors down the long hallway, past the doubledoors Phi gets whispered what’s going on because she’s the only one with perception for it and on high alert.

The exterior walls are def stone, but interior walls are plastered wood slats (a note for Rana)

As we reach the room we’re ushered to we see a scholarly blue and white dragonborn and fucked up gnome chick, not related to Phi, def looks like she had a hard life, low London rough and tumble accent.

Phi parses this as odd because she doesn’t really ever see these two together and they were both doing whispery voiced arguing that clams up when we enter.

Gnome lady stays quiet

Payton (scholarly dragonborn): Ah, leaf pick, haven’t seen you in awhile.

Rana gives Phi a confused look because this is like name #15

He’s one of the more stable potion makers of the group (Payton) soooome minor enchantments

Phi: Hey! How ya doin, Payton?

Rana and Diem hug the wall together not feeling great about the group’s chances in this situation.

Phi and Payton have awkward chitchat.

Phi gives Bamfina Lockley (the rough and tumble London gnome) a nod: Hey.

Lockley gives her a cool look in response, something of a glare.

Payton glazes over that about how great it’s going, lots of shipments and good time for working on my projects.

Phi: Have you heard anything about the weird meteors we’ve been having, lots of sciencey people talking about that?

Payton: I have seen them but I’ve been really busy this past week so I haven’t been...why have you heard anything?

Phi: We were talking to some people at the university and it just sounded pretty crazy, right?

Payton: *quetioning look* I didn’t realize you were so interested in astronomy

Phi: New hobby of mine, been spending a lot of time outdoors looking up at the sky and it’s just become fascinating to me.

Neither Payton nor Bamfina look like they know what to do with that.

Payton takes interest in Phi’s friends, we briefly greet back.

Phi asks if they’re waiting to see Dima

No

Oh we’re just gonna go in then

Lockley stroms off

Rana: Bye!

Phi’s cousin walks out from a door in the side hall on the east wall. “Oh, Selphina! I haven’t seen you in forever!”

Phi: Oh, hey *nickname for level 2 familiarity* Small chitchat in the hall about wishing their loved ones well follows.

He gives the rest of us a wtf are these people doing here look as he goes by but Diem doesn’t even notice him until he’s already past them while Rana tries to start obviously awkward conversation with Payton after Phi dropped him like a hot potato. (The meeting with Dima)

Phi knocks on door where Dima is waiting.

Dima: Enter

Phi peeks in “I brought my friends with me this time, is it okay if they come in?”

Dima gives her a look: It’s better than having them in the hall.

It’s a cozy little office with french doors leading into a garden/well area. 20x30 office

Diem comes all the way in and crosses with Phi to the french door area to allow room for Rana and Ixayl’anu, then sits in the chair on that side of the office.

Dima thinks this is unusual that Phi’s brought people in, but she’s not in trouble for it. He casually closes his books and sets them aside as we come in.

Dima: Phi what is this about, I thought we’d spoken earlier?

Phi: Yeeeeah, but it turns out my friends realized they have something to talk to *you* about and so I brought them here to talk about it.

Dima: Interesting *makes go on hand gesture*

Ixayl’anu: (rolls a 10 on persuasion) and she says something to the effect of “I’m on a mission from Selune, and you have something she requires to complete my quest.” Dima is intrigued

Diem doesn’t think he looks intrigued enough and decides to use phantasmal force to convince Ixayl’anu Selune is now talking through her to tell this story, and hopefully Dima that it’s true/help really sell the story. Sleight of hand casting succeeds/Nobody notices Diem cast it, but Ixayl’anu makes her save enough to know what’s going on and let it happen.

Ixayl’anu then rolls a nat 20 on persuasion with the rest of the story, letting herself believe she’s possessed by Selune. Diem adds a little moonlight prestidigitation to Ixayl’anu’s eyes to really sell it. Both trickstery deities involved probably fully approved and thought this was great fun (Dima’s and Ixayl’anu’s)

Dima: Yes, Ixayl’anu, whatever you need, name it.

“Selune”: Ixayl’anu will know it when I see it through her eyes.

He leads us to the basement where there’s a sleeping black dragon it looks up and snorts.

Peace Antimony, (words I missed).

It hisses some toxic green gas and lays back down.

Dima leads us around. “This is just general storage, but I’ve got a vault down here.”

Rana and Phi have been flabbergasted. We all stand back and just act like we’re not interested in snooping. 

1st item: metal globe with protection runes “thaumaturge’s orb.”

2nd item: A staff with a golden hand at the end with one finger extended “Staff of Midas”

3rd item: Multi-faced star-shaped cut glass/shimmery crystal reflecting light in prismy way “The sky crystal focus” about the size of a basketball.

4th item: Beautiful finely made silver circlet with a large multi-faceted, mostly purple gemstone in the middle with 3 little motes of light that float around it in diff shifting colors “Arcanist’s Circlet”

5th item: A tiny hummingbird out of enamel or jade, in flight “Valonte’s vitalium”

6th item: Another orb, jet black with 2 copper bands runes carved into the orb. “Orb of passage”

7th item: A sword longsword with kind of twisted metal and hilt is standard wrapped hilt that merges into the base of the blade like grasping vines, cross blade is thorny “constrictor blade”

8th item: Just looks like a deck of fine playing cards, kinda plain. “The Deck of Many Things”

9th item: Amulet on a jeweler’s bust, inside is a beautiful topaz (yellow), large cut to shine brilliant, around it 2 sphinx’s and a four winged angel on top with sunrays behind it. It looks very ornate. “The Sunheart medallion.”

If Rana was looking she might be able to say more about it, but she isn’t.

Dima: I did just acquire this as well. 

*shows wine decanter sized crystal vial with a metallic, shimmering in all the colors kaleidoscopic liquid, I’m not exactly sure what this does yet, I haven’t had it identified, but it may also be what you seek.

Arcana check of 22 to see if I know any stories about the item names: Enough to Cross off staff of midas, volantes vitaleum, and constrictor blade.

Diem manages to sleight of hand cast message to share not these 3, but my patron said you would know it when you see it, so maybe...communicate with your god in front of each one or something? “You can respond to this message”

Ixie: Maaaybe.

Rolling a d6 at a 5 (for where she’s drawn): Ixie narrows it down to the skycrystal focus, the arcanist circlet, and the deck of many things.

Ixayl’anu tries to use divine sense in front of the 3. It doesn’t tell her any more.

She’s doing the slow loop around the room kinda thing, holding a hand out, dowsing rod kinda passing each one. Loops back around to the deck, decisively points at the deck “That one.”

Dima: Yeah, that completely makes sense, let me unlock that for you.

Phi rolls investigation to see if there’s a magic component to these keys or anything. As he puts in the key and turns it there’s a faint puff of coloured magic smoke that comes out, and she knows it’s just like a simple alarm spell - it would make a noise to alert something or someone elsewhere. Takes out the deck and hands it to Ixayl’anu.

Phi notices the back of these cards is an exact match to the card she’s been carrying. Dima’s deck is complete, Phi got it within a year, but not from Dima. Meta info none of us realize: Vizier: At any time you choose within one year of drawing this card, you can ask a question in meditation and mentally receive a truthful answer to that question. Besides information, the answer helps you solve a puzzling problem or other dilemma. In other words, the knowledge comes with Wisdom on how to apply it.

Ixayl’anu tries to give him a good faith I know it’s not enough token of 100gold

Dima: No, this is between us and the deities. (but he appreciates the gesture)

Ixayl’anu: May her light shine on you.

Dima: And you as well.

We don’t linger and follow Phi out.

He invites us to a drink after with some chitchat. With as little detail as possible and as much truth as possible (not sure what I meant by this statement lol). We get very good bourbon.

Charisma check for how Dima views each of us moving forward: Rana 15, Ixayl’anu 15, Diem: 10, Phi: nat 20 (22 total).

Level up!

We go back to the inn and Rana buys us dinner.

We talk about when we’re doing the professor meeting and will they meet us at night.

We both are like as soon as possible, but we’ll say it’s an emergency.

Rana exchanges a look with Phi.

Diem: What? Wait did you guys get message while I wasn’t paying attention?

Rana: Yes. Phi tells Diem the truth though (no, we didn’t)

Diem talks about maybe appearing on the boat after it’s already set sail - they don’t know how these things work.

Rana: Won’t the captain have questions?

Diem: Well we’re already paid for so it’s not like we’d be stowaways.

Rana and Phi talk about how mad her mentor might be, they talk about not knowing it wasn’t an actual message from Selune and what if Dima finds out. Rana doesn’t for a moment believe Selune was involved. 

Phi: That won’t be explained until the future either and if a catastrophe was averted by then it could make him less mad.

Rana: Let’s hope it was worth it.

Phi: Yeah, let’s take it one day at a time. Cross that bridge when we come to it.

Rana: Let’s just hope we don’t burn that bridge.

*cut to Diem and Ixayl’anu for a deal’s a deal scenes*

Diem does as last time, with the sense Ahrune heard.

Ahrune pops in “That was fast, what have you brought for me?”

Diem: We may have convinced him it was ordained by his goddess.

Ahrune: More interesting than what I had in mind.

Ixayl’anu *huffy*: It wasn’t exactly clear, but I brought you these.

Ahrune: *examines them* Yes, these will do quite nicely *hands them over to Diem* Why don’t you hold on to these for me.

Diem: *thanks in shock*

Ahrune makes us a door directly to the guy, and hands Diem a return portal orb to the inn when we’re done. “Forgive me if I don’t want to stick around for this part.” *disappears*

*Diem tucks the cards into their inner suit pocket before following Ixayl’anu through the door.*

As soon as we walk in he looks up: Oh! Hello I didn’t...office hours are closed!

Ixayl’anu: Forgive the intrusion but I need to talk to you.

Whitskey: You don’t look like one of my students…?

Ixayl’anu: No we haven’t met before, I have an unusual question...well...maybe *looks at all the vials of fungus and thinking maybe not* Wondering if maybe you can identify something for me.

I’m given to understand you’re professor Whitskey?

Whitskey: Yep that’s me.

Ixayl’anu: Do you...I think this question is self evident but do you happen to study lichen and fungus and things?

Whitskey: That is my specialty

Ixayl’anu: I have a substance that I - well a group of us found recently and I was hoping you’d know more about it.

Magical lichen - you understand magical lichen very well?

Whitskey: Yes do you have one you want me to identify?

Ixayl’anu digs in her pack and pulls out the vial to hand over

Diem: before you open this you should know *tells about it briefly and where it was sampled from*

Whitskey: Yeah I recognized it so I wasn’t going to throw magic at it but thanks for the warning.

You said you found this in the shadowood? You’re quite far from home.

One of us: We spoke to professor Leonis he wasn’t sure if it was native here or if they came with the meteors, he kind of led us to think it was native

Whitskey: Professor Leonis, I can’t say that I’m too familiar with him but I don’t get out much. I have heard all this hullabaloo about these meteors but I didn’t realize it would have anything to do with my work.

We talk about it growing directly on the meteor.

Diem illustrates it for him.

Whitskey: Hmmm *adjusts glasses* (has very large eyes behind the glasses)

Ixayl’anu brings up the dwarf too.

Whitskey: There was a dwarf? Tell me more about this.

Diem does a 22 on telling the story again and all the details they can remember.

Whitskey looks at the lichen in the jar and studies it. His excitement continues to grow as he looks up things in books and compares, etc. 

He keeps it in the jar and he brings the mage light closer to the vial. *Diem steps back*

The lichen grows toward the source of the magic with quite a speed, spindly bits and deeper colored. Whitskey quickly separates it out again.

Whitskey: This is quite a find! This is a very...I haven’t actually seen this before!

Diem would let him know what officials in Miova know, what little they don’t, or even the local Miovan professors about this fungus and that he might want to put a team together to stress the importance of this to his local magistrates/officials/etc, asks whether it might be wise to take a protected sample back there as well.

Whitskey: If I’m correct this line is very aggressive. Transporting it could be quite problematic, we’d have to set up a containment field, quite frankly I’m surprised it stayed in this method of containment.

Diem agrees on the point of transporting it back through another, different magical door and that it’s probably best to leave the whole sample with Whitskey after all.

Diem and Ixayl’anu talk about her mission and what they can do if they encounter more of it. Whitskey gets excited about the possibility of more samples then and happily gives us containers of his own.

Tips for future encounters: Bring someone who can create a null field, anti-magic area to contain it, and it is best you get the samples when they’re small, when they’re large they have a self-fulfilling mist about them and they become quite difficult to contain. At that point it can do certain things, take over other living organisms.

Diem: Like that dwarf - oh and maybe those gnolls.

*tells him about the gnolls now too*

Whitskey: Oh yeah some cults do use them to infect themselves with various forms of these lichens to become part of their deities. Usually those cults get found and irradicated. Some small discussion about that. We find out it’s common though with known species and not necessarily tied to this new one.

Diem asks about the care of the vessels

The containers are inert until you open them and put something inside, and once you shut them they become their magical versions and he wouldn’t recommend putting them in magic holding things like bags of holding or anything like that, but near those bags is fine.

(Rana:This guy is totally going to turn out to be evil

Leonis: "I can't just hand out University materials, I'd have to get permission."

This guy: "Take my personal vials.")

We get 3 containment units.

He goes around to the other side of his table and give us a small book of sending so we can keep in touch and we can coordinate how to get samples and such back and forth.

We verify we can send warnings through and not just notes, and he will contact us too about things he learns.

How durable are the contaminants?

More durable than glass, they can break, handle them with care, don’t smash them on the floor or throw them at things. They’re made of magical pyrex. Thick enough to drop from waist height and they’ll be fine.

Whitskey: You’ve made my whole night, my whole year, I have so many things to do!

Ixayl’anu has something else she wanted to ask but can’t think of it right now.

Diem makes sure it’s okay to ask him a question in the book later if she thinks of it.

Whitskey: Oh yes, so long as it pertains to all of this.

Diem: Can this book be stored in a bag of holding?

Whitskey: Yes absolutely.

Ixayl’anu: Anything else you can think of?

Diem: Nope I think we did a pretty good job.

Ixayl’anu smashes the portal and we go back to the room we were in, taking 45 minutes total.

Rana and Ixayl’anu played with their rats. *rewind a little (to prevent potential disaster lol)*

Before we left, Phi brought up that she had a similar card to the deck we got and she tells us it’s a deck of many things that have wildly varying effects that could be really good or really bad and she knows you have to declare how many cards you want to draw and select them. She has an enchanted card to be whatever card she needs and now that she knows this it’s revealed its true nature to her so now it probably doesn’t work as intended.

Phi asks if she can see the deck and Ixayl’anu hands it over (in the velvet bag Dima had tucked them in).

She puts them face down on the table “I have one of these cards that I thought was just a trick card. I use this to turn into a different card *she tells it to change by illustration* the fact my boss had cards like this tucked in his treasure room tells me this is more than just a simple trick.”

It’s def a trickster element to it. Diem realizes they know stories about these cards (21 arcana check), gives some examples of people dying, being lost, become more powerful or rich, getting wishes granted.

Rana makes a face when the wish spell is mentioned.

Phi: Sounds super dangerous but also kind of fun

Diem: Yeah, but also the epitome of fey fun, so it makes sense why you picked that one, Ixayl’anu.

Phi: *tucks her card away and talks about getting it identified*

*Phi and Rana time while Ixayl’anu and Diem are at Whitskey’s*

Rana: So how do you and Dima know each other?

Phi: He’s the head of an organization I used to be a part of.

My family is very involved still so I kinda don’t talk about being involved with it anymore so I kinda just go off and do my own thing but Dima is one of the people who knows I don’t wanna be a part of it anymore. He makes sure I don’t get any heat from not wanting to be part of it now.

Rana: Well your sister seems nice and he seems nice

Phi: He’s NOT nice, but my sister doesn’t know much about it, she’s just a family person, focuses on that. Her job’s not so intense (I have a lot of sisters though).

Rana: What do your other siblings do? *confused*

Phi: You know

Rana: No, I don’t.

Phi: Just stuff that isn’t necessarily on the up and up, you know, like...below the law things that you may not wanna do if you have kids you gotta feed. I don’t know, she’s just a different person.

Rana: Is that why she had so many kids?

Phi: Oh no that’s just normal and they’re not all hers.

Rana: Dima did help us. Well, we tricked him into it but he really did help us.

Phi: Yeah I was actually a little surprised by that. I think he’s just very devout so I don’t think he saw an option to not help if that makes any sense?

Rana: Either way if he’s been supporting you and he’s willing to help us out, he can’t be that bad right?

Phi: Sure. I mean he’s not supporting me out of the niceness of his heart, we made a deal.

*I missed Rana’s response, sorry*

Phi: It wasn’t like a favor it was a trade

Rana: At least we’re not making deals with the fae

Phi: That’s some crazy shit right? I’d never do something like that.

*Back to the present*

Diem stores coffee can sized containers in their bag with a tight fit and takes the sending book downstairs to meet the others after we decide to tell them about the deck in addition to the meeting with the prof.

They are cuddling very fat very happy rats right now when we find them.

Diem: Good news and...interesting news.

*we tell them*

*we go over our primary goal*

We decide to let the local lawmaster know our statement too and told the front desk lady. Rana didn’t come along, she went to bed.

Diem mentioned meeting them again for breakfast because they have last night of potential company.

Phi asks about that on the way and Diem dishes about the sexy librarian with his dark teal skin. 

Ixayl’anu got a 13 on her insight check to the first story she overheard.

Contested against 23, she believed it all, but it was definitely just singing the praises of Teagan and nothing revealing at all about Diem themselves. (Insight checks were arranged after, Phi’s is yet to be determined)

(Getting on the boat)

Next day Diem doesn’t make it to breakfast but they do make it just in time.

Rana on stone: I have your stuff and bringing it with me to the boat, be there.

Diem: I’m already on my way I promise, I’ll be there soon *flying clothes on totally not already on the way*  Diem also manages to get a pearl on the way for their new identify spell.

Rana is a bit grumpy as she eats her breakfast taco

Ixayl’anu tells Rana she has something that might help, even though she seems to have a handle on water forms now *hands over water walking ring*

Rana: If you don’t mind I would like to hold on to this for the journey.

Ixayl’anu: Sure

*brusquely nods*

Diem: Oh my pack is making up, you guys <3

Rana spent all night preparing all the water spells.

Ixayl’anu dumps 4 shark teeth

Phi: What’s with that?

Ixayl’anu: It’s so we have a safe trip?

Diem: What? What’s what about?

Ixayl’anu: Don’t you have anything to give too?

Phi and Diem: No, do we need to?

Ixayl’anu looks worried and gives us shark teeth and tells us to throw them in too.

We do so and I’m totally interested in the story behind it. Tell me Ixayl’anu, pretty please!

Ixayl’anu: You just do it for safe passage from the spirits.

Clearly the guardian spirits of the ocean are the sharks. This just insures nothing that’s beyond the sailors skills will happen on this journey.

Diem talks about that being fair - no shark teeth is probably why they ended up overboard in a barrel their last trip to sea.

*Ixayl’anu hands Diem a small bag of shark teeth just in case.*

Diem: Do I dump all these in now or for later?

Ixayl’anu: Later, you shipwrecked seems you’ll need them. Diem gives a fair point shrug and happily holds on to them.

During all this talk, Rana has tossed in one of the prettier stones from her pocket and while stressing out, is looking to spot it in the water. Rana manages to spot her offering.

Phi tries to distract by asking Rana about her homeland.

Diem internally pouts over not hearing Ixayl’anu’s story about how she lost her body guards the first time around that didn’t go so well, but is also interested in stories about Rana’s homeland (and distracting her). (I think I missed some of the initial talk)

Rana: Don’t wanna be caught out in the desert without protection either from the sun, cold at night, etc.

Phi: Well you just have to trust the experts that know about the place we’re in, like we trust these experts in the ship we’re in.

Rana looks over like “I know what you’re doing” Yes we do don’t we, let’s get on this boat before I change my mind. *Throws in all her shark teeth too*

When we get on, we mostly get ignored by the crew.

(Aboard the ship, talking about Anesh, Rana sees a new animal form!)

Phi does 14 perception, few new faces, mostly the same crew. “Hey how many shark teeth did you throw in the water today?” to the one she knows to be the nicest/most tolerant.

Person looks at her with sheer incredulity “what are you talking about?” and walks away.

Phi 11 retro-active perception checks superstitious stuff among this crew, but hasn’t noticed any.

When shown their rooms, Diem asks Rana if she wants to share a room since there are only 3.

Ixayl’anu attempts to bring her elk aboard and gets a few looks from the crew, but they don’t deny her. The captain is nowhere to be seen. It can roam around 9 or put it in 12 (the actual hold). She bought elk supplies bedding/food for the trip.

On their rush to the boat, I did manage to buy a pearl because my patron tipped me off to check my spell book.

We all hang out on deck, Diem tries and fails to come up with positive ship stories to distract Rana.

Ixayl’anu asks Rana about where they’re going.

Rana rolls 14 history check: She knows it’s a port town (Farford), they do a lot of the trade that comes in from Petarus rather than overland - specialty seeds, various animals (not the metals which come from Bouldergap). She didn’t stick around too much. Before she met us she didn’t stick around anywhere very much, sold her goods and moved on.

Ixayl’anu: What’s it like in Anesh?

Rana: It’s pretty dry, it’s a desert - most of it, near the mountains you have more brushy cover. You don’t wanna go to Lake Nitron.

Phi: Why not?

Diem: What’s wrong with Lake Nitron?

Rana: It’s pretty deadly, only a few birds can survive out there it’s not really a place that you’d want to live. Sunhame is right in the middle of it all but most of the towns are either on the coastline or nearer the mountains where there’s cover.

Ixayl’anu: And that’s where your home is, up in the mountains?

Rana: Yeah, that’s where I learned all my druid craft at too

Ixayl’anu: What do your parents do?

Rana: It’s just my mom, she’s a tailor. My dad died before I was born so I can’t really tell you much about him. My brother is a blacksmith.

Sunhame is not as large as Miova but the rest of the towns are about the size of Budelia.

I’ve been to Sunhame a few times, it’s heavily religious. I spent a lot of time traveling between them all between my mom’s business and my brother’s blacksmithing. We don’t have anything like the shadowood where we’re from though, that’s a you guys thing.

Ixayl’anu: Do you have trees?

Rana: Some, a few up in the mountains scattered near them, but not a lot of them. It’s not as green, you guys have a very green country

Diem: Do you prefer it that way?

Rana: I like both places, nature exists (I missed the rest of this) yeah it’s not as green as Rethwellian but I think you guys will like it, it’s a nice place.

Ixayl’anu: I get the impression it’s really hot though

Rana: Yeah, it’s warm. It’s a desert.

(Established that Rana’s staff is made of hazel, found in the mountains.)

(I may have missed some more things. You’ve probably guessed but even when I don’t note this, it’s probably true even for conversations that seem whole.)

Rana talks until someone stops her, but we’re all on team distract Rana, so we encourage it.

We have occasionally seen the captain if we notice.

Calm sailing so far.

Ixayl’anu rolls a d20 for us for mysterious reasons.

About 3 hours into the day, noonish, we see a pod of killer whales hanging out with the boat. 

Rana ventures closer to the rail by then and adds it to her animals seen list.

Diem asks how her animal form hunting went.

Rana: I found a loud seal.

Diem: Did you try swimming?

Rana: No I just transformed into one so I know I can do it and watched them swimming so I’m sure they can. It’ll be fine.

Diem: Yeah, I’m sure it’ll be just fine. (As text this sounds like sarcasm but it wasn’t lol)

Rana: Yeah we’ll be okay.

Diem: We will absolutely be okay. (Also not sarcasm, but let’s not point out she didn’t try swimming in that form)

(Aboard the ship, Diem has identify now!) 

Before the end of the day, Diem picks a time when everyone’s near enough to hear them to tell Phi “guess what I learned how to do?”

Phi: What?

Diem: *brandishes pearl* I can identify things now!

Phi: And what’s that?

Diem: Oh the pearl I need to cast it.

Phi: So does that mean you could find out what this card can do?

Diem: Maybe, wanna try?

Phi: Yeah *hands it over*

Diem starts trying 

Phi: Oh but I also wanted to ask you how your night went.

Diem: *tries to concentrate on ritual but gives up to just answer the question* do you want to know that now or after I cast the ritual?

Phi: Oh later is fine.

Phi leaves so they can concentrate.

Diem finds it out after 15 minutes instead of just 10 and tells Phi it is the vizier and what it does.

Phi looks disappointed (I think because the card also lost its ability to be any card she wanted at a thought but all I literally wrote here is “Phi looks disappointed scene” and then failed to remember details I was so sure I could fill in later :P) (Aboard the ship: Keeping company with spiderwalking elks, Phi and Diem have a talk)

Ixyal’anu goes to keep her elk company after awhile.

Before the end of the night, Diem and Phi go to Phi’s room to dish the details on Diem’s last night with Teagan. By the time they get there, however, Diem has a more serious, related topic on their mind that alters this discussion (Sorry at the time I was stuck in the “no live awkward rated R details” mode and forgot something happened that would give Diem pause over the “after hours” story time).

Rana casts spider climb on the elk again to make herself feel better.

Ixayl’anu, confused, asks it “did you do this? How do you do this?”

Elk: I’m on the ceiling, it’s great!

Unfortunately realizes he can’t swallow upside down so comes down to swallow his food.

Ixayl’anu: You need to teach me this trick

Elk: I don’t know how I do it, it just happens.

Ixayl’anu insight checks 18 *stares down the elk*

Elk: Sometimes when your friend comes around I can do this.

Ixayl’anu: Which One?

Elk: The copper one

(Aboard the ship - next day shenanigans, I think? Day 3 shenanigans? I didn’t make the timeline very clear in these notes) At some point during the day, Diem snuck in Phi’s room to take back the doll from her packs, then tried to sneak it into her arms that night 20 stealth vs 25 perception, Phi wakes to see Diem looming over her, reaching out. 

Diem quickly hides doll behind their back and is very awkward about this. Rana doesn’t cuddle and I wanted to see if you would.

Phi wants to know what they were doing, why they were reaching out for her face though.

They awkwardly try to explain that there was something on her face.

Phi tells them they’re being creepy. Diem: Oh, and who snuck into my room in Budelia just sitting on the end of my bed watching me? That wasn’t creepy? Deflection fails so Diem shows her the doll and pretends they were trying to get rid of it for her before she woke up and freaked out.  This backfires as Phi gets really really freaked out and Diem decides they can’t go through with that either and admits that they did it, they were actually trying to *leave the doll in her arms* to find later and it’s just one of those normal dolls of the queen they were handing out at the festival.

Phi: I changed my mind, you’re not getting cuddles tonight.

Diem *crushed to lose cuddles*: I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were that scared of it - What if I throw it overboard right now - an offering to the sharks?

Phi agrees to cuddle after all if Diem throws the doll overboard. We do so and then go sleep in the same room with Rana. Note: I think I forgot to note the passage of some uneventful days mixed up in this trip somewhere because otherwise we’d have only 2 full days out to sea, arriving in the morning of day 3. As such, I went back through the notes to note when an (the?) uneventful day(s?) might’ve occurred. (Ocean Voyage Day ?: What happened to Kelly?)

By the time the rest of us wake up, Rana is probably already on deck sitting miserably.

Diem tries to cheer her up but it’s mostly cause she’s not feeling well.

Ixayl’anu begins to notice how weird it is that this crew is quiet and antisocial

Diem doesn’t really notice but tries to encourage sea shanties. A few look my way (19 persuasion) and catch themselves humming before quickly cutting off and going silent again.

Ixayl’anu starts talking to phi about how strange this is

Diem agrees, noting how the ships they’ve been on always sing shanties and clearly some of this crew knows them…

Ixayl’anu: and they’re usually shouting back and forth about things they’re doing/seeing.

Phi: Maybe they don’t need to communicate like that?

Diem: Yeah maybe they all follow old ones...? Wait that sounded way more ominous out loud than in my head.

Rana is glaring at us.

Ixayl’anu: *Grumbling* it’s usually more lively than this, I just don’t like it.

Phi realizes something about something Tel whispered her: Wait a second guys, I wanna go ask somebody something *goes to find the guy who thought the whole shark teeth thing was weird*

Phi makes a 17 investigation roll, she does not see the person she was looking for, but she had seen him since launch.

Phi returns and tells us she can’t find the guy she spoke to yesterday when we set out.

Diem: Are all the little boats still here?

Ixayl’anu casts divine sense but doesn’t sense any celestial, fiends, or undead: Do you know his name? Maybe you could ask about him?

Phi doesn’t know why we’re worried, but she knows his name (Sean something I missed) and could go asking even though she’s not worried.

Diem messages: Are you really not worried or are you saying that for Rana’s benefit, you can respond to this message.

Phi: Well I’m not worried but I’m getting worried that you’re worried. You can respond to this message.

Phi goes off to ask the captain and knocks, hears sigh.

Cpn: What can I do for you Selphina?

Phi: I was gonna ask Kelly a question but I can’t find him, do you know where he is?

Peter gets quiet and then says “Oh no, Mr Kelly had other engagements and didn’t join us this go around.”

Phi: But I saw him yesterday…?

Cpn: You must’ve been mistaken.

Insight check 10. She knows he’s lying but doesn’t know anything else about it, only that something about this is not right. It’s also suddenly degrees colder in this room.

Phi: I guess I was mistaken.

Cpn: No worries it happens to everyone

Phi: How’s the trip going, are we on schedule?

Cpn: Oh we’re making excellent time, we should be there by morning.

Phi: Excellent

Upon returning to us, Phi: Guys I don’t think we should be talking near the captain’s door in the future, but I was clearly mistaken

Phi actively tries to get out of the conversation and drop it.

Diem suggests maybe it’s this crew’s own superstitions like “quiet passage for quiet passage.”

Ixayl’anu says maybe she’ll be be less worried about it then. (Aboard the ship: Ambergris!)

At some point during the day we see a lump of grey goo overboard about the size of 2 milk crates. Definitely smaller than a chair.

Ixayl’anu notices it first, rolls a 12 on nature check, it’s not something her culture uses but it’s whale vomit and worth its weight in gold.

She points it out, gives fancy ambergris name to us and looks for a bucket, Phi tries to help.

We found a bucket, it’s probably not big enough for this. Ixayl’anu hits the thing, but realizes the bucket is too small.

Rana casts control water to keep it with the ship. Diem runs to get their special rope. 

When they return with rope, it ties off successfully and Ixayl’anu manages to get it up to the boat, with all four of us pulling we successfully get it on board (mostly Rana’s 21 and no thanks to my 2 lol).

It smells not great.

Diem: Oh that’s awful *prestidigitations it to smell like flowers* (Except it’s old enough to be hard and not smell too awful anymore)

We talk about getting it in the black of holding and breaking it in pieces so we don’t rip our bag.

Rana asks about what it’s for, is it part of the meteor?

Ixie: No, it’s...well it’s whale vomit.

Diem: Oh, gross... *looks at their hands and casts prestidigitation*

Rana goes back over to sit where she was before like oh my god as the rest of us talk about it being valuable. She leaves the bag of holding with us to break it and stick it in the bag.

Phi: This is awesome, the best day ever, I’m going to throw shark teeth in the water every time!

Ixayl’anu: *excited* yeah the teeth just show up on the beach it’s so easy to find them. (not knowing if that’s true everywhere).

Diem: Or maybe the whale just saw that doll (as an aside to Phi)? 

Phi laughs.

We have a pleasant evening, no plans.

Ixayl’anu gives a heads up to the elk: Watch listen tonight so you can stay up. Keep your ears open.

Evening perception checks: me (literal 0), Ixayl’anu: (nat 20), Rana: 21, Selphina: 10. (Ancient Whalesong Magic!)

Rana can’t sleep tonight. She hears a low wailing that goes into a series of clicks. She hears it all night long.

Rana goes to Ixayl’anu’s room and asks “What is that?” It sounds like they’re following the boat or just all around us.  A lot of them and very close.

Ixayl’anu: It’s whale song

Rana: Why are they so loud?

Ixayl’anu: Well it’s...I don’t know what they use it for, but it’s communication

Rana: But why are they so loud?

Ixayl’anu: I don’t know *both go above deck to check it out*

Rana makes 7 perception, Ixayl’anu a 14. She knows what to look for - occasionally she sees a spout but they’re not hanging out at the surface, only coming up to breathe and going back down, unlike what she’s used to.

Looking out over the water for a little bit they speak with animals at about the same time. About 10-14 whales.

Rana or Ixayl’anu: What are you singing about?

A whale: We’re working

Another whale: We’re busy

Now that they can hear what they’re saying, it doesn’t make sense at first, it has a weird strange poetic cadence to it, it kinda sounds like chanting or a ritual spell.

Ixayl’anu makes an 8 on arcana check

Rana wants to see if this is natural and rolls an 18 nature check. It seems like a natural thing, these are natural whales.

Ixayl’anu: What’s the song about?

There are words they can recognize, but she didn’t pre-arrange the song (Bless you if you know what I meant at the end of this statement).

19 perception from Ixayl’anu to get the meaning through the overlapping song. It’s about wrapping something around things and tying things together and binding something, repetitive in the round song way (row row row your boat lol) about keeping something together, apart from everything else.

Rana is leaning over the railing intrigued by all this.

Ixayl’anu is looking for any visual signs, 14, little waves, but not enough to disturb the pretty view of moonlight on the water. She doesn’t hear any birds or any other splashing. Very quiet other than the whale song.

Rana excitedly runs below deck to wake Phi and Diem up to experience the whales too! Diem actually does manage to perceive whales. It is very cool.

Rana (to whales): Are you coming with us?

A Whale: No we have our own business to attend to

Rana: Where are you going?

Whale: Here

Ixayl’anu: Are you hunting?

Whale: No, we are not hunting. We are very busy.

Rana: Do you need help?

One of the whales spy hops, large whale between humpback and blue whale (fin whale).

Diem: Wow that is so cool.

Rana gets the sense it’s looking at her and comes back down with a snort: I don’t think you could.

Rana: You’d be surprised. I might be able to help if you need help, but what’re you doing?

Whale: It is old magic for our kind.

Ixayl’anu and Rana ask them more about it, find out they’re doing some kind of binding ritual.

Rana casts locate object looking for pieces of the meteor.

She does not sense anything within a thousand feet of her. 

Rana: Is it about a rock?

Whale: It is about the project

Rana looks at Ixayl’anu with an unspoken question.

Ixayl’anu shrugs.

Whale clarifies: The Great Project

Rana: Good luck!

One whale acknowledges with a little fin wave

Rana: They clarified it wasn’t about a rock

Diem knows of sailors telling a few tales of whales helping shipwrecked people and other species and some people say the whales seem to be very benevolent forces, not really heard of magic, just weird sailor tales.

Diem suggests maybe the great project has to do with the sharks teeth thing.

Eventually over the next half hour we get out of immediate range, but we hear them for the rest of the night.

Phi dozed off leaning against something.

We go back to bed and the whole thing puts us at a later rising time. (Farford on the horizon!)

When we wake up we see Farford in the distance.

We’re gonna get 30k platinum for the amber gris (7500 each)

Next session: Jan 14th 5pm. (But really...tomorrow, it’s tomorrow!)

We don’t need to rp out selling whale vomit.

Phi kept a little jar of amber gris for future trade options.

Ixayl’anu tries to find more shark teeth.

(Omitted notes to self with note of omission so I remember to reference them for establishing some previous details)

Diem promises when they receive their cut of the amber gris, to name their firstborn after Ixayl’anu lol.

[wish-upon-a-sapphic-star]

@withrewings HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! You’re literally so amazing and I could rant forever about it, but for now I’ll keep it brief. I hope your day is just as awesome as you are. I wrote a little fic for you--hopefully you like it! (Thanks to @rowanisnever for looking it over for me)

~~~~~

Remus gripped his book, tight enough to make his knuckles turn white. Even the yellowed pages of Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy couldn’t calm him, the words jumbling together in his brain to form a thick sludge that only served to worsen his nerves.

There were many things that Remus didn’t like. Loud parties. Homework. Having a chaotic sleep schedule, not that that seemed likely to change any time soon. Chocolate that wasn’t dark enough. Airplanes were at the top of that list. And he was going to be on a plane for the next 10 hours. 

Why his parents had thought it was a good idea to ship him off to America to visit relatives when he had motion sickness and a fear of heights was beyond him. He had never been out of the UK before, and he had certainly never been on a plane without his parents. But sure. Send the anxious terrified teenager on a plane to spend two weeks with people he had never met before. Great plan.

The only good thing about this entire experience was that he had the aisle seat and only one person would be sitting next to him. He just hoped whoever would be sitting there wasn’t weird. Better yet, he hoped no one was sitting there at all.

He readjusted in his seat, trying to get comfortable. Airplane seats really were terrible.

The boarding process was taking forever. People shuffled past him, shoving their bags of all shapes and sizes into the overhead compartments. It was only when the final group was called onto the plane that someone finally scooted past into the seat beside him. 

The boy sitting next to him looked around his age. His long black hair was braided down his back and he possessed a face probably sculpted by the gods. He wasn’t weird or creepy, just cute, which was so very much worse.

Remus’ palms started sweating. He stuffed his book into his backpack to keep it from somehow getting damaged, though he doubted that was really possible.

The stranger pushed his backpack under the seat in front of him, then turned toward Remus. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Why did this have to be happening?

The handsome boy grinned, cocking an eyebrow. “You don’t like flying, do you?”

Remus laughed nervously. “Is it that obvious?”

He just gave him a look. Yes. Yes it was. 

“So... you are?” he asked. Wow, he was terrible at conversation.

“Sirius,” the stranger said. “Nice to meet you. Your name?”

“I’m Remus.”

“Well, Remus, I think—“

He was cut off by the speaker. The flight attendants had started going through the safety procedures, and Remus tried to pay attention. Really, he did, but the only concept his mess of a brain could process was fear. Well, that and the fact that Sirius was sitting next to him.

Suddenly the plane started moving, driving along the runway, picking up speed. Remus’ heart beat faster, his nerves going haywire. His stomach roiled.

“There’s another thing I should tell you,” he said. “I get motion sick.”

“Good to know. If anything happens I’ll make sure you don’t vomit on anyone but yourself.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “My hero.”

Sirius just winked.

Ah yes. Because more butterflies in his stomach was exactly the kind of thing Remus needed right now.

The plane started ascending. Remus’ stomach plummeted. The pressure shoved him down, down, down, until he felt like he was going to crumple from the sheer force of gravity. He started breathing fast, faster than he should be. “Oh God, oh God, oh God.”

Sirius’ face went from cocky to concerned. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay. Here.” He held out his hand.

Remus took it without a second thought, clinging to it for dear life. He was going to die. He was sixteen, and he was going to die in an airplane, sitting next to a very hot person he didn’t know. Very much not the way he had thought he would go out.

“Breathe,” Sirius advised. “Take-off will be over soon and then it’s smooth sailing.”

Remus nodded, stiff. “I think I prefer the ground.”

“We’ll get there soon enough. It’s only a few hours.”

“A few?” Remus challenged. 10 hours was a lot more than a few. Oh God, he was going to die.

“Come on,” Sirius chided. “It’s not that long. Besides—you and me? Time will fly.”

Remus cursed his stupid fluttering heart.

The pressure eased slowly but surely, until it felt almost like he was in a very loud car. He wanted to delve back into the words of Douglas Adams, but he didn’t trust himself enough to let go of Sirius’ hand.

“So, umm,” Remus stammered. “Where are you going?” 

“Don’t you know? We’re going to the San Francisco airport,” Sirius reminded him.

“Wow. Thank you so much for that information,” Remus snarked. “Honestly, though. Why California?” His confidence and sanity were slowly returning to him. The sarcasm helped.

“My friend, Lily. She moved to, uhh,” he trailed off, thinking. “One of the San places. Not San Francisco, though. Her family moved a few years ago, but personally I think she begged her parents to leave purely to escape my friend James.”

“She doesn’t like him?”

“That’s what she wants us to think. She doesn’t know I know she calls him every night.”

Remus laughed. A relaxed, genuine, not-nervous laugh. Huh. That never happened on planes.

“What about you?” Sirius inquired.

“Family. They’re in some suburb of LA, I think.”

“They decent?”

“Dunno. Never met ‘em.” 

“Well, good luck,” Sirius said.

Remus smiled. “Thanks.”

Sirius hummed for a moment, looking to the side, lost in thought. “Do you wanna watch a movie together? I have good earbuds.”

Remus was positive his face was bright red. “Umm, sure.”

Sirius glanced at their hands, smirking. “I do actually need both hands to get them.”

“Right! Sorry!” He frantically pulled his hand away. God, he was such a moron.

Sirius rummaged through his bag and pulled out the earbuds. They spent the next few moments trying to figure out how the small screen worked and decided that Star Wars: A New Hope was the only decent option available, no matter how many times they had watched it already.

Remus slid the earbud in his ear and leaned in closer to Sirius to see the movie better. He let the movie whisk him away to a galaxy far, far away from the plane and heights and relatives he didn’t know. He got so invested in the film that he almost didn’t notice when Sirius intertwined their fingers again. 

~~~~~

Remus awoke to Sirius shaking his arm. Apparently they had just landed, and Remus had fallen asleep towards the end of the movie.

Okay, so maybe the flight hadn’t been that bad. He had had a nice conversation, and watched a good movie, and slept...

On Sirius’ shoulder. He had fallen asleep on Sirius’ shoulder.

He quickly sat up, mortified. Sirius didn’t seem to mind at all, though. They were still holding hands.

“Here, give me your phone,” Sirius said. “I’ll add my number. Here’s mine.” He handed Remus his phone, open to the contact he had already created.

Remus gave him his phone and started typing in his number before noticing what Sirius had entered as his name as. Remus (cute guy on the plane). Remus’ heart soared.

They exchanged phones again and picked up their bags, watching the people in front of them slowly file out.

“Hey, umm. Thank you. For keeping me from freaking out,” Remus said.

“No problem. Anyone who likes Hitchhiker’s Guide is worth talking to.”

Remus barked a laugh. “So that’s why.”

They squished into the aisle and started walking towards the gate.

“Well, that and you’re pretty easy on the eyes,” Sirius admitted.

“You’re not too bad yourself.”

“Not bad?” Sirius argued. “I’m a fucking miracle.”

The two fell into a fit of laughter as they entered the airport.

Remus looked around. “I suppose this ends our conversation.”

Sirius nodded, sighing. “Text me soon, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

[mrslittletall]

Alright, a quick rating of the Zelda titles: 

The Legend of Zelda (NES) I actually only played this game when I was 15, because we didn’t had it on our original NES, then sold it and only got the game when we bought a used NES.  For such an old game, it holds up pretty well. It is fun to play, but it has some hiccups, like totally random bombable walls in the overworld. I was lucky to have found an old map from some 1989 Nintendo magazine.  I rate this game as a solid 7/10.  Adventure of Link (NES) Ah, the black sheep. For some reason, they thought they needed to make this game into a sidescroller which were pretty popular at the time, but imo took away from the Zelda experience.  It also is hard, super hard, one of the games that named the trope “nintendo hard”. I actually never made it past the second boss.  So I never played through the game, but watched others play. I think they shouldn’t have changed the formula so much after only one game, but it isn’t a bad game per se, just one that doesn’t fit.  I give it a 5/10.  A Link to the Past (SNES) Now that game took everything the original had and made it BETTER. The overworld is huge, the music is stellar, the game even tells a story, a bit hidden, but it is there, it established quite a few staples in the series like the heart pieces and some leitmotifs like Zelda’s lullaby and Hyrule Castle theme.  And then the game takes its huge world and makes it in a dark mirror, now that was amazing!  The only criticism I have? The Dark World dungeons are too similar, but other than that: 10/10

Link’s Awakening (GB/GBC) Ok, this game was my first Zelda, so it gets the nostalgia bonus.  I ADORE this game. Now that I am older, it is obvious, that the game started as fangame, but whatever. It works super well with the tiny console it came out on (the Game Boy), is super fun, has well thought out dungeons which revolve around a theme and also adds two new more staples in Zelda games:  The quirky characters and the creepy undertones.  LA has a really big twist in the second half and it is kind of depressing when you know it, but I love that scene and the music that plays in it. That game was surprisingly mature for it’s cute limited style.  It also gave us the ballad of the windfish, though... In my heart it gets a 11/10, but objectively it gets an 8/10. Ocarina of Time (N64) Ehhhh... Nah, it isn’t the best Zelda ever.  I liked the game, but even at age 11 it felt just like A Link to the Past in 3D, even less, because OoT is very linear. LA was linear too, but it had the game boy excuse.  What I like about OoT is the focus on more story, the races of Hyrule are more in the focus and the music is gorgeous, as well as the jump in 3D was well done, but I wished they hadn’t given Link the autojump. Ugh.  It’s a solid title, 7/10.  Majora’s Mask (N64) Now hold my beer, that game looks so stressful, but it is GOOD. Seriously, this game is amazing. It takes a timed countdown and makes it WORK!  It isn’t just a reskin of OoT, because of a lot of clever new mechanics, the transformation masks. The story is a bit weird and also dark. Jeez, this game is the darkest Zelda game ever, but wow, it’s also deep as hell.  Music? FANTASTIC! Actually my fav score from all the games.  Majora’s Mask earns a 10/10.  Wind Waker (Game Cube) Adorable, cute, has some really cool twists, music is fantastic, art style is timeless and the sailing wasn’t boring!  Like Majora’s Mask, that game lives a lot of sidequests, but I really liked it and I liked the slow reveal of just what the world of WW is.  I loved it on the Game Cube and even though I only played through it in like 2014 (because I deleted my save game and started over, wtf?), I think this is one amazing title. It get’s a 10/10. Because I loved the sailing.  Twilight Princess (GC/Wii)  Well, that game just screams OoT at me at every single moment.  I still love it. I played it after I had a a bit of a fallout with single player games and went raiding in WoW for a year straight. Going back to just being single player was amazing. Ok, the wii mote was a bit meh, but the game was good. I liked Wolf Link and Midna and the Twilight Realm and all the references. I felt at home and liked to see a more mature approach at the story, even though this game isn’t as dark as MM, it still counts to the darker ones.  But I don’t like every little thing about it... I give it a 8/10 though.  Oracle of Ages/Oracle of Seasons (GBC) Yeah, they are weird. Yes, I love them nonetheless. Music is a disappointment though, but love the idea, characters and dungeons as well as some of the new items. 7/10 for both.  Phantom Hourglass (DS) Oh, come on, the game isn’t that bad, but I admit, the phantom hourglass temple was uuuugh.  6/10 and one point is for Linebeck alone. Spirit Tracks (DS) Now that is what Phantom Hourglass should have been! A clever story, a nice inclusion of Zelda, the touch screen controls work well, the train is HELLA fun, tons of sidestuff to do, stellar OST, really fun villain.  This games works and it works well. 9/10, just because the pan flute was awful and I got dizzy by all that blowing.  Skyward Sword (Wii) Master, your batteries are low.  Shut up, Phai!  I want to like this game, I really want, but, but...  I had to recalibrate my Wiimote every 20 minutes! The motion controls made the game unneccesarry clunky and Phai is the most annoying sidekick of all time.  The story was cool though, I loved learning how the master sword came to be and it had some really clever dungeon ideas, like the time based ones. Also, Ghirahim as well as Ballad of the Goddess. I give it a 5/10 though, because of the damn motion controls!  A Link between Worlds (3DS) It is AlttP with a twist. A good twist. It used the 3D effect of the 3DS and played with 2D and 3D perspective for puzzles. It took the story of ALttP and made it good.  It made the OST better.  the dungeons were short enough to be played in a short session, good for a handheld fixed the same looking dungeons. 11/10, really, that game ist fantastic  BotW (Switch/Wii U)  I had some troubles with the game at first, but then? I started to adore it. The world is HUGE, like, never ever have we seen such a huge world, oof. And there is actually stuff to do. Shrines to find, Koroks to find, monster camps, animals to hunt, unfixed events! The game is super non linear and it’s amazing!  It is a whole new look on Hyrule and on the formula and it works. It has a few annoying things (climbing in rain, weapons breaking, some foes overpowered), but it is super fun and I want the second installment now. 9/10 

[ohmystarsy]

all the tag games I’ve been tagged in in the last few months

as the title says - I’ve finally found some quiet time to do all of them, thank you all for tagging me!!! it is always a pleasure and I LOVE those tag games, just life has been really busy recently, even more so during that whole pandemic thing.

I put all of them under read more, bc there’s  A LOT of text. the tag games include:

name ten favourite characters from ten different things, tagged by @majoris

name your seven comfort movies, tagged by @majoris and @natowe

quarantine Q&A, tagged by @ithilnarmo

20 questions about yourself, tagged by @jennyyfishh

I was tagged by @majoris​ for name ten favorite characters from ten different things (tv, movies, books, etc.), then tag ten people.

favourites are the worst! but I will try my best neverthless.

Eames from “Inception” (idk, he is flirty af but also has rly bad taste in clothes and I love that; it might be also Tom Hardy thing tho)

Thor from MCU (just. the kindest of Avengers? says women rights? struggles with what it means to be “worthy”? pls)

Cahir Mawr Dyffryn aep Ceallach from “The Witcher” (I just love evil blonds with redemptions arcs who suffer throughout the whole series bc they made some bad mistakes in the past; also yes I have always headcanoned him as blond, idk why)

Leia Organa from “Star Wars” (an Icon, what else should I add?)

James Flint from “Black Sails” (gay pirate disaster that we all deserved and it was given)

Clara Oswald from “Doctor Who” (idk I just always related to het the most from all companions that I’ve seen. I love her fearlessness, her bossy side and that she takes no bullshit from the Doctor)

Sansa Stark from “Game of Thrones” (I hate what the show did to her, but I always loved her in books; how she starts as this silly, annoying girl and then grows and grows and outgrows everyone else)

Phryne Fisher from “Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries” (I just love this show and this woman; I’ve never seen a characterisation as this one; at one side she is never serious and she often plays silly woman, but that is only a facade for the world??? and she never cares about what others think of her, I’d love to be like her when I grow up, if I wasn’t already a grown-up)

Roy Mustang from “Fullmetal Alchemist” (I mean. I’ve never knew a manga character could be so hot. Also he’s a snarky bastard, but that’s what we love about him don’t we.)

(Purple) Hawke from “Dragon Age” (idk I just like this sarcastic little shit)

I was tagged by @majoris and @natowe​ to name my seven comfort movies (and god it’s gonna be difficult bc I rarely watch movies but here we go)

Inception

King Arthur: A Legend of the Sword

Lord of The Rings: Two Towers

Brooklyn 99 (I know, not a movie, but this is actually what I usually watch for comfort - I think I’ve seen season one like 10 times at this point)

Thor Ragnarok

Mamma Mia!

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

(generally when I’m in need of comfort movie I just look for some action movie this is how I roll, fighting on the screen makes me calm *shrug emoji*)

I was tagged by @ithilnarmo​ for quarantine Q&A

1.  Are you staying home from work/school? Yes, I am, although there was some battle with this (long story). Luckily the project I work on is on the final stage (it’s already being built), so it’s actually possible to do everything from home and also a team I’m on is super communicative and it all goes rather smoothly.

2.  If you are staying home, who is there with you? I live with my sister, who is now finishing her Master’s Degree, so we are in this together! (There is also occasionally a dog on our neighbours’ balcony just next to us and it’s always a highlight of a day.)

3.  Are you a homebody? Before this pandemic I thought I am, but now I think I just don’t like clubbing and partying lmao, bc I just ITCH to travel or just go outside and walk in the city and I CAN’T.

4. An event that you looked forward to that got cancelled? Well, not an event, but several of my plans for spring and holidays got cancelled. I was supposed to go the Baltic Sea and Gdańsk in spring (on seperate occassions) and then I and my friend had to cancel our holidays to Faroe Islands in May/June, because it will probably be still too early to travel.

5. What movie have you watched recently? I think it was “Escape from the ‘Liberty’ Cinema”, which is hella weird Polish movie from 1990, just after end of communism. It tells a story about a censor who starts to question his job bc suddenly the actors in the movie that is being shown in one of the cinemas rebel (inside a movie) and don’t want to play it anymore. Really weird. Really.

6. What shows are you watching? Brooklyn 99 for like tenth time.

7. What music are you listening to? Same as usual.

8. What are you reading? I’m reading “The Waves” by Virginia Woolf (my fav book ever), for a month now, bc 1) I don’t have much time now I just work all the time, 2) I read it in English and can only read like 10 pages at once. but it’s SO GOOD, guys. so good.

9. What are you doing for self care? lmao don’t have time for that. I try to take breaks from work, sometimes go outside or at least step outside to balcony (and stare at the neighbours’ dog), I cook dinner every two days and a NICE stuff, so at least food brings me joy, and I try to sleep regularly, although I do a poor job on that.

aaaaand I was tagged by @jennyyfishh for 20 questions about myself

1. Nickname: I actually don’t have any, it doesn’t work like that in Polish (Kasia is already what you’d call a nickname from my full name Katarzyna, but this is just how we call all Katarzynas) (sometimes I wonder what is the point of the full names if we never use it in speech lmao)

2. Zodiac Sign: Scorpio!

3. Height: around 170cm

4. Languages: Polish and English; I was kinda conversational in German some years ago but now forgot all of it, I’d probably understand some of Ukrainian and Russian if I really tried (was learning Russian for three years and Ukrainian is just similar enough to Polish) and learnt some Swedish too, but again, don’t remember anything rn

5. Nationality: Polish

6. Favourite season: spring

7. Favourite flower: daffodil and tulip

8. Favourite scent: verbena, petrichor, sea

9. Favourite color: yellow

10. Favourite animal: dog probably

11. Favourite fictional character: look at tag game number one on this long list : )

12. Coffee, tea or hot chocolate: coffee!

13. Average hours of sleep: 6-7, but my body wants 10

14. Dog or cat: both, actually; now I’d rather take cat than dog, but that’s only bc I live in small apartment and am out of it for too long

15. Number of blankets you sleep with: one??? second blanket is for really freezing winters only (like -10/-20 celcius degrees)

16. Dream tip: what does it mean even? idk man, sometimes if you wake up from rly good dream, if you think about it hard and fall asleep quickly you can still return to it

17. Blog established: probably somewhen in 2011? idk what is time anyway

18. Followers: 2051

19. Random fact: oh god idk, ok I will maybe say sth I’m rly proud of, which is that my short story was published in an anthology in year 2017. I still can’t believe my name is printed there.

(where is 20th question tho???)

ok, I am tagging for all of those above: @shirewalker @sorrydearie @natowe @cptnjaneway @iaskier @spectralarchers @majoris @jennyyfishh @ithilnarmo @ohhelga @marsza @stupidape just choose whichever of those above you’d like to do or just ignore it completely : )

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Any fics about hair? Whether it’s hair care or hair pulling, I don’t mind.

Hi Nonny!

Ah, I don’t have very many that deal SPECIFICALLY with hair, but more like hair is within the plot or one of the boys loves the hair! So here’s what I can remember; I know there’s another that’s 100% about hair (Sherlock wants to taste John’s hair and doesn’t know how to ask) and I can’t remember which one it is and it’s bugging me LOL. Anyway, here you are, everything that showed up in a search. I’ll also add Beard Fics too:

HAIR & BEARDS

See also: John Has a Beard

Upon Reflection, Tenable Frippery by emmagrant01 (T, 1,299 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4, John’s Beard, First Kiss, Fluff) – John was, inexplicably, growing a beard.

Untouched by KittieHill (E, 3,239 w., 1 Ch. || Kissing, Frottage, Virgin Sherlock, Body Worship, Sherlock’s Scars Mentioned, Masturbation, PWP, Rimming, Multiple Orgasms) – Sherlock leaked a lot. John had never needed lubricant. John loved watching it, had once spent an entire afternoon edging Sherlock so he could watch as the thick precome drip, drip, dripped onto Sherlock’s belly.

Love and Hair Dye by Anonymous (E, 3,920 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Body Worship, Self Conscious John, Voyeurism, Idiots in Love, Smutty Smut) – Self conscious John decides to cover the greys on his head, and the colour isn’t what he thought it would be. Now he’s more self-conscious than ever.

The Oolong Disaster by unicornpoe (T, 4,151 w., 1 Ch. || John’s Beard, Fluff, Humour, Frustrated Sherlock, John Takes Care of Sherlock, Case Fic-ish, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Possessive Sherlock) – John has a beard. Sherlock has a panic attack.

If He Knows by shamelessmash (M, 4,513 w., 1 Ch. || TSo3 Fic, Pining Sherlock, Bed Sharing, Angst, Sherlock POV, Texting, Internal Monologue, Blanket Forts) – I imagine mornings: John handing me a cup of tea, hair sticking out at odd angles. How he would bend down to kiss me, smiling fondly as he pulls away. The way his skin crinkles at the corner of his eyes, the way his skin looks in the morning light. The soft sigh as he sits in his chair with the morning paper, the way his toes curl in the carpet, the way he rolls his shoulders before sinking deeper into his seat. I watch him, how he is when he is content, as it should be. As he deserves. Happy. With me.

Facade by distantstarlight (M, 4,715 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, John’s Beard, No-Shave November, Grumpy Sherlock, Clueless Sherlock) – Sherlock is highly irritated with a challenge John has agreed to undertake. Why does he need to grow a beard anyway?

One Day Like This by nondeducible (E, 4,872 w., 1 Ch. || First Time, Bed-Sharing, Romance, Fluff, Virgin Sherlock) – When Sherlock emerged from the bathroom, the sight before him nearly took his breath away. The only light in the room was the small lamp on the bedside table. John’s skin shone like gold, his hair like the purest silver. He was on his side, facing the empty part of the bed, his outstretched hands ready to embrace whoever climbed in next to him. Sherlock could imagine, just for a second, that this was their shared bed and he was coming back to settle into John’s arms.

Survival Strategies for the Domesticated British Butthole by Atiki (E, 6,183 w., 1 Ch. || Crack, Rimming, Anal Sex, Iced Lolly, Hair Removal, Depilation) – In which there’s a rimming disaster, Sherlock depilates his butt, everything goes very, very wrong and groceries are mistreated. This fic contains hair removal creme in a butthole, ice lollies in a butthole and John Watson’s penis in a butthole. You have been warned.

The Death of Doubt by Gingerhermit (E, 6,584 w., 1 Ch. || Alternate Canon, BAMF John, POV Sherlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Hurt/Comfort, Angst/Drama, Meddling Mycroft) – Mycroft asks for John’s help in rescuing Sherlock from his Serbian captors.

The Tip Over Into The Inevitable by ivyblossom (T, 6,894 w., 1 Ch. || Grief, Cuddles, Insomnia, Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers) - When his father dies, Sherlock avoids sleeping. Then discovers he can’t sleep at all. John finds a way to help.

Onomatopoeia by aquabelacqua (M, 6,904 w., 1 Ch. || First Time/Kiss, Frottage, Dirty Talk, Domestics, Word Kink, POV Sherlock, Dry Humping / Sex, Chair Sex, Hair Pulling, Lazy Mornings, Hand Jobs, Friends to Lovers) – Something is the matter with John. Sherlock is determined to figure out what it is. Mark his words.

Beg for Mercy (Twice) by Solitary_Endeavor (E, 7,060 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Bottomlock, Bearded John, Edging, Rough Sex, Idiots in Love, Canon Compliant) – Sherlock hasn’t left the flat in four days, the itch of impatience beneath his skin too great to allow him to suffer interaction with any human being who isn’t John. This is probably a mercy that goes both ways, as he’s driving even himself mad. Sherlock supposes there is a lesson to be learned here about having himself to blame, but of course he blames Mycroft.

Of Razors, Pipes, Red Notebooks and Rugby Jerseys, Or: Sherlock Doesn’t Like His Doctors Clean Shaven by allonsys_girl (E, 7,313 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., PWP / Porn With Feelings, John’s Beard / Beard Kink, Roleplay, Love Declarations, Banter, Rimming, Anal, Domestic Fluff / Bliss, Idiots in Love, Emotional Lovemaking, Pet Names, Obsessive Sherlock, Sherlock POV, Bottomlock, Cranky Sherlock) – John grows a beard. Sherlock really likes it. Part 1 of Consulting Husbands

Christmas by Anonymous (E, 7,673  w., 1 Ch. || Worried Sherlock, PWP, Drunkeness, Christmas, Est. Relationship, Idiots So In Love) – John feels a lump rise in his throat, and it hits him, again, that this beautiful, infuriating creature is his. Completely, one-hundred percent his.

And if you say the word, I could stay with you by CaitlinFairchild (E, 12,842 w., 1 Ch. || Domestic Fluff, BottomJohn / Topping from the Bottom, Fluff and Romance, Dirty Talk, Proposals) – What Sherlock thinks is, On the day I die, be it in a dirty alley at forty or in my bed at eighty, the last thing I will remember is tonight, the way you looked at at me on the snowy pavement, cheeks pink with the cold, breath puffing in frosty white clouds, your heart in your eyes and snowflakes in your hair. I will remember that single perfect moment in my life, that moment I knew I had everything I ever wanted, and whatever happens next, I will die content. What he says is simply, “Marry me.”

Where Else Would I Be? by cwb (E, 34,910 w., 10 Ch. || Retirementlock, Domestic Fluff, Falling in Love, Parentlock, Fluff and Smut, Reminiscing) – John and Sherlock’s five-year-old granddaughter spends the weekend with them in Sussex. Sherlock happily indulges her whims, and John takes care of them while quietly revisiting the past thirty years of their lives together.

Albion and the Woodsman by Glenmore (NR [E], 54,437 w., 50 Ch. || Post S3, Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Angst, Family, Drug Use, Depression, Sherlock POV) – Sherlock and John are devastated after Mary Morstan makes her final moves. Sherlock relapses at the crack house, John walks around the world … and a lot happens in between. Parentlock, in the good way.

The Thing Is by TSylvestris (E, 56,743 w., 21 Ch. || Case Fic, Dev. Rel., Anal/Oral, Blow Jobs, Meddling Mycroft, Drama, Romance, Humour, Casual Encounters, Pining Idiots, Possessive Sherlock, Orgasm Delay, Rough / Alley Sex, Public Sex, John Whump, Drugged John, Emotional Love Making, Awkward Relationship, Marriage of Convenience, Switchlock, BAMF John) – The problem with living with Sherlock, John thought, was that you never, never, ever knew the significance of anything. Like your flatmate’s nose buried in your hair. Whilst you’re in bed. Part 1 of Nitroglycerine

A Further Sea by i_ship_an_armada & ShinySherlock (E, 125,492 w., 23 Ch. || Historical Pirates AU || Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Doctor John / Pirate Captain Sherlock, Sailing, UST / RST, Masturbation, Action / Adventure, Mild Angst & Peril, Romance, Shaving, Molly/Janine, Bottomlock, Hand / Blow Jobs, Past Drug Use, Slow Burn, Mild Violence, Facial Shaving, Happy Ending) – Here be a tale of adventure for both body and soul, but beware if ye be not of stout heart, for this be piratelock, ya savvy? Luckless ship’s surgeon John Watson takes a chance, and finds himself eye to eye with The Ghost, the scourge of the seven seas and a definite thorn in the side of the blaggard, James Moriarty. But when John finds there’s more to this most cunning pirate than be meetin’ the eye, he has to choose… is it a pirate’s life for him?

MARKED FOR LATER

Curlock by 88thParallel (G, 1,285 w. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Sherlock’s Hair, Fluff, Ficlet) – How Sherlock learned to control and appreciate the incredible gift he was born with, and the man who helped him sort it out.

Of Razors, Pipes, Red Notebooks and Rugby Jerseys, Or: Sherlock Doesn’t Like His Doctors Clean Shaven by allonsys_girl (E, 7,313 w., 1 Ch. || PWP, Porn With Feelings, John’s Beard, Bottomlock, Domestics, Fluff and Smut, Banter, Declarations of Love, Rimming, Anal, Est. Rel.) – John grows a beard. Sherlock really likes it. Part 1 of Consulting Husbands

How to Sleep with Your Enemy in One Semester by 221b_careful_what_you_wish_for (M, 9,699 w., 6 Ch. || College / Uni Professors AU || Professor John/Sherlock, Enemies to Lovers, Rivalry, Bickering, Office Sex, Blow Jobs, Fluff, Domestics, John’s Beard, Idiots in Love) – Visiting professors John Watson and Sherlock Holmes are longtime academic rivals — and now unwilling office mates — at a prestigious American university. When their tense arguments give way to an undercurrent of mutual attraction, their war of wits turns into something more personal — until it goes off course. A party, a phone number, and deserted office at night might just bring them back together.

[fivecentimeterspersecond]

Interview with Sui Wenjing with Xu Lijia (English Translation)

Chinese Pairs skater Sui Wenjing sat down for a discussion/interview with Olympic Gold Medalist in sailing, Xu Lijia. I did a loose translation of the 10 minute rapid-fire q&a in the beginning segment, so this is a detailed translation of the long discussion starting at 11:10. 

If you’d like to listen, there’s a dropbox link someone sent me of it (since you need to download an app to listen) and someone also uploaded on bilibili.  

The “free skate”/discussion portion of the interview starting at 11:10:

After winning the silver medal at the Olympics, Wenjing underwent surgery in her foot and entered a lengthy recovery period. In March prior to the World Championships, she had another accidental fell and hurt her lower back, but finally with persevering will and spirit, she and her partner gave another perfect performance on the World Championships stage. To stand on the highest step of the podium, what kind of pain did she have to endure? Xu Lijia continues her conversation with Sui Wenjing.

Xu: I want to turn this discussion back onto winning the World Championships, this is already your second time becoming World Champions. I saw your performance at Worlds and I was completely blown away - I believe no matter whether you were watching live in-person or watching at home on tv, you have the same feeling. Before the competition did you think you would be able to execute so well?

Sui: No, I didn’t dare think that. Before the competition, we had a lot of mishaps like when I’d fallen while practicing the twist, Cong completely missed catching me and I fell directly onto the ice. At the time, I had to rest 3-4 days just laying there, then slowly resumed training. But even right before I left I was unable to successfully complete all 13 elements which made me pretty anxious. In addition after the fall, I was doubting myself like, “Can I really do this? Can I even compete?” If we didn’t skate well then what do we do? But I felt like there were so many people helping us so I felt a bit guilty. But at the same time I was afraid that, 1) another injury or mishap might occur while competing, and 2) if we didn’t compete well, we would leave a negative impression on the judges and would affect our scores for next year.

Xu: So you didn’t really expect that you would perform so well. Then if you couldn’t even perform all the elements right before leaving, then what mysterious force do you think propelled you to skate so perfectly? Or what other skills?

Sui: Some kind of mystical force from the universe [laughs] kidding, kidding! Honestly just the accumulation of several years of training and learning how to control ourselves during competition. Once we get to the competition, we know what we need to do, how we need to skate because when we were younger, we didn’t have a good feeling on how to compete. In addition our coaches were always encouraging me, saying not to give up, we have to fight. Whatever happens, happens. It’s not like you don’t have a chance. Think about it: even though this is what your preparation looks like, no matter how you skate, at least you did your best and you’re happy.  But look at your competitors, they also have a tough battle - they probably think their competition’s condition isn’t that good, and because they see they have a big opportunity, they’re going to be more nervous. This is how everyone’s mindset shifts. But now you have no burdens, you may be injured and everyone knows you’re injured, so you just fight against yourself. However you skate, it is what it is. Our team leader Lu told us “you must show us your status as a top athlete. You don’t necessarily have to skate well, but you need to show your best self to the judges and the audiences and that you still deserve to stand at the top of the world.” That released a lot of our burdens, and allowed us to put forward our best effort in competition.

Xu: It seems that in all aspects you received so much support and coordination from your entire team, they were constantly encouraging you. Because you encountered so many hardships, it sounds like that was able to release your burdens as well. Once you take that pressure off yourself, you’re able to put your best face forward and perform for everyone.

Sui: Right, of course there’s still some nervousness, but comparatively significantly less. Also after seeing our competitors’ condition, I felt like once we got to the competition, I thought, “no, I have to fight. Why are you ahead of me when you usually don’t skate as well as us!” I really thought that! I thought, I have to do my best. I didn’t think, oh I need to surpass them, I just need to be my best self, and if I surpass myself then I’ll win. Also before the competition I had constant support from fans, medical staff, always working hard and helping me with detailed preparation, how to adjust my condition, etc. I’m so thankful to everyone. This medal is due to our entire team.

Xu: I believe that this year’s world championship will be one of your most treasured experiences. Usually after the season is done, the summer is when you choreograph new programs. This year do you have any plans of where you’ll go for choreography?

Sui: We already finished choreographing. Once we finished competing, the week after we got new choreography, and then two weeks later we went to Japan to perform.

Xu: I can imagine you must have a lot of Japanese fans.

Sui: Yes, the fans from Japan are quite adorable. (laugh)

Xu: (laughs) How long does it usually take you to learn and remember a set of new choreography?

Sui: It doesn’t take long to completely memorize the choreography, maybe about one week. But if you want to be able to perform the program in competition, then it’ll take at least 3 months, roughly.

Xu: Three months? This is because it takes that long to perfect and be comfortable?

Sui: Right, you need to be familiar with it. Also, pairs skating is hard because of the coordination needed between partners - the rhythm, timing, in addition to the connection to the music. These are pretty difficult. Like, if you think about ice dance, they do have a lot of elements that require the two partners’ coordination but they don’t need to prepare for hard elements like jumps or throws, so they don’t need to leave time to prepare for these types of elements. In pairs skating, each element takes a lot of time, so once you complete an element you have to continue to perform. So when we’re choreographing we have to be very aware of the timing between the skaters and the music. This aspect requires a significant amount of time to perfect.

Xu: When you are choreographing do you listen entirely to the choreographer or do you guys add your own ideas or movements?

Sui: When we were very young, maybe the first two years we left the country to do choreography with Lori [Nichol], we pretty much listened entirely to her; we did whatever she said. But these past few years, Lori is someone with really good eyes: she is able to recognize our good ideas and pull them out of us. So these last 2 years we’ve used a lot of our own movements. In our programs this year, around 70% of the choreography was from stuff that Han Cong and I thought up. She would be like, oh hey, this way is good. A lot of our friends would ask us, “then why don’t you just choreograph your programs yourselves?” I’d say, no we can’t, because Lori has really good eyes. She’s able to easily see the big picture construction of the program. It’s like building a house: you start from the ground up then seal the roof. But we can’t see that. Also, we can’t see what a certain movement will look like from now until 4-5 months later. Whenever I watch videos of our programs the past few years from the first week after we choreographed, my god, it’s terrifying! They were just so ugly! But one year later, it looks like the way that she envisioned, really good. But at the time we couldn’t see it at all. This is Lori’s greatest strength.

Xu: It seems just like how an actor, after acting for so long can also become a director. Once you’ve done enough choreography you can come up with your own ideas and opinions.

Skating fans like to call Sui Wenjing and Han Cong “Onion Bucket” (cong （葱）= onion, sounds like his name; tong（桶）= bucket, a joke from when she was young and had a “bucket”-like figure). Even though they’ve been partners for 10 years, there’s no actual chemistry between them. Wenjing on Weibo would call him “Second Dad.” How did these two build up such an intimate understanding between each other? Xu Lijia continues her conversation with Sui Wenjing.

Xu: Let’s continue to discuss your figure skating career. Do you remember the first time you partnered with Cong?

Sui: 2007. I remember this clearly because my mom helped me remember.

Xu: Before you previously mentioned because Cong didn’t have a partner anymore, so you got pulled over to try it out, right?

Sui: Right, right.

Xu: At the time, what was your first reaction?

Sui: I just thought why not try it? (laughs)  Right, at the time I thought, this guy looks so scary.

Xu: (laughs) You don’t think he looks cool? I think he’s very cool/handsome!

Sui: He does look cool, but when he’s being scary it doesn’t show.

Xu: Ahh. So you just didn’t like that he has a bad attitude.

Sui: Right! Well, it’s not that he “seems” to, he DOES have a bad attitude! (laugh)

Xu: (laugh) So it’s like this! Then as soon as you paired up did you have good chemistry or was it due to many years together practicing?  

Sui: Not at the start, because first I never learned pairs before, and second, when I was younger I just immediately started skating with him after establishing some fundamentals in skating and jumps. I was like a blank piece of paper. My individual abilities were quite strong, and I was the type of person who could basically withstand anything during practice, falling a few times, a few bruises here and there didn’t bother me. I was pretty coordinated, which probably had to do with taking dance and martial arts lessons before, I grasped it pretty quickly. After pairing for 4 months — no, more like 20 days after pairing up, we entered our first competition. [T/N: some stuff muffled here, they were interrupting each other] We barely made the qualification round at the National Games, I remember.

Xu: Wow, very impressive that you were able to compete so shortly after partnering up. When you were younger and had less strength, did you fall a lot learning lifts and throws?

Sui: Yeah, I fell a lot. It’s not that I didn’t have enough strength, just that I wasn’t used to the “feeling” of being in the air or “feeling” of pairs skating, because pairs is actually quite different from singles.  You have to rotate horizontally and vertically, you have to rotate so high in the air during throws, and low to the ice during spins. It’s important for pairs women have to get to the feeling of rotating in the air so many ways, it takes a while to get used to. But I felt like I got used to it pretty quickly, including throws - my teacher said “do a throw double” and I don’t know how, but I just closed my eyes and did a triple. (Xu: Ohh…) Yeah, and I landed it, but thought, wait, this doesn’t seem right, and fell to the ground.

Xu: You seem to have a lot of natural talent.

Sui: Yeah. Then my teacher said, tomorrow don’t do doubles, just go straight to triples. From then on I never did doubles.

Xu: Wow. You increased the difficulty so quickly. In your impression, what do you think was your worst fall?

Sui: Worst fall I think was probably this year’s [fall before worlds].

Xu: Ah, the one where you said when you fell it felt like you lost half a life?

Sui: Yeah, because this time was during a twist, your entire body is horizontal in the air.

Xu: Ah yes, it’s so high, falling from a height even higher than your body height.

Sui: Right, it’s like my body height plus an arms length, so that would be over 2 meters tall. I went down head first, and watching the video, my reaction was pretty quick and I used my hand to lift my head a bit, then I rolled over. Otherwise my organs, head, spine may have been impacted. My self-protection instinct was pretty good.

Xu: I think this another kind of innate talent, because I heard before from Li Zijun that pairs ladies need to be very tough.

Sui: Right, because during throw and solo jumps, your body is vertical, so if you fall its usually on your butt, knees, arms. It’s actually easier to protect yourself then. But when you’re completely horizontal, you’re already feeling confused while you’re flying in the air, you don’t know where to grab onto and falling straight onto the ice horizontally is pretty dangerous.

Xu: The fact that so shortly after a fall like that you were able to win the world championships is really so admirable. When you learn quad throws, from when you first start learning, how long does it take to have a high success rate? How long does that process take?

Sui: Quad throws? Actually internationally very few attempt quad throws, and right now we don’t do them often either. Once you get to a certain age, the burdens these elements take on your health increase compared to when you were younger. So now we don’t do them often. When I used to do them competitively a few years ago, I actually didn’t do them that often either, only when my condition was good I would do 4-5 of them. But at that time my success rate was higher than 50%, I was able to grasp them pretty quickly. But it depends on the athlete, some could do them for years and never accomplish it. Some will do it a few times and get used to the feeling, and be able to do them. It depends on the person’s feeling. I remember when I was young I did quad throws, and I did them for a pretty long time but I wasn’t able to complete them perfectly. But once I got older, before my surgery, I was able to do both quad throws and quad twists in a program. But these elements require a lot of physical strength and the process took 10 years, almost 20 years of training. This doesn’t necessarily mean you can complete them in a single program, and you have to train with high caution to be able to complete them. Because our height difference isn’t that big, I have to use more strength to make the throws as high or higher than others, and therefore the impact on my ankles, knees, spine, etc. is much greater than other female partners.

Xu: Like you just said, your partner Han Cong isn’t as tall as Zhang Hao or other international athletes who are so much bigger and stronger, his figure seems to be more similar to singles skaters? (Sui: Yes) Even though your height difference isn’t so remarkable, you’re still able to get such amazing results - how were you able to overcome this aside from what you said before, like gaining more physical strength. How did he overcome the deficit due to his physique?

Sui: He just did strength training and “practiced me”. (Laughs)

Xu: So he has a greater strength requirement due to his height and figure.  

Sui: Well usually if you’re big then you’ll have more strength, but at the same time, we have our own strengths that others can’t achieve. For example, when we do solo elements like jumps, we’re very in sync because our height and weight are roughly the same, the difference in appearance doesn’t look like much.

Xu: Ahh, just like our synchronized divers, you both are very similar [in shape].

Sui: Correct. Also, for side-by-side spins we look a lot more in sync because we have a similar [body] radius, so we spin similarly.

Xu: Once you explain it, it makes sense!

Sui: Right, and during skating, our legs have similar length so our lines and rhythm is the same too. Plus when we perform we look very coordinated. It’s not like some of the pairs with one tall and one short skater, it’s like, hey why don’t these two seem to have a very “couple” feeling? (laugh)

Xu: I heard that before the World Championships, you specifically lost 6 kg. If you gain even a little weight, does it impacts him a lot?

Sui: It does affect him. As for myself, it doesn’t really affect my ability to do solo elements individually, like I can do them one by one with no problem. But during program, all 13 elements, once I get to the 5th or 6th element, I don’t have energy after. I get very exhausted. In addition, once I lose weight of course it helps my partner but even more-so it helps myself complete the performance better.

Xu: So are you the type who doesn’t gain weight easily no matter what you eat or gains weight easily?

Sui: Well, now I’m over 20, even though I’m past puberty I’m still okay, I don’t gain weight that easily.

Xu: But do you find it painful when you have to lose weight?

Sui: I just eat vegetables. Once I eat vegetables for a few days I’ll lose the weight. But what I find most annoying, is really everyone, including fans, when they meet me are like, “Wow you’re so skinny! I never realized you were so skinny!” But when they watch me skate on TV are like, “Huh, I think you look pretty chubby.” I’m so tired. I really can’t help it! (T/N: i just want to note that she says this all with a very light hearted, humorous tone, not as offended as she comes off in the translation)

Xu: (laughs) But actually, the TV does actually seem to add weight, it pulls you horizontally.

Sui: Yes, but there’s another thing you might not have thought of. There may be pairs ladies that are larger and taller than me, but when they stand next to a super tall and big male partner, they seem much smaller.

Xu: Ahh, you’re right, so that’s Han Cong’s fault.

Sui: (laugh) No problem, no problem at all! But one of his best features is that he’s got a really small face. I also really have a small face, it’s like a melon seed - when you see me in person you’ll notice my face is super small. But Cong has SUCH a tiny face, it’s like a small knife! Ah, it pisses me off!  I have such a small face but I have to stand in front of him, so my face seems so much larger and rounder. It’s so unbearable!

Xu: Sui is giving our audience some weight loss tips, just eat vegetables a few days and you’ll get skinnier, right!

Sui: Well, because I usually do a lot of training, aerobics, anaerobic exercise - figure skating is a very physically demanding sport so once you cut calories you’ll naturally lose weight. And drink lots of water!

Xu: When you’re learning pairs skating, are there times you and Han Cong have difference of opinions? Do you guys fight often?

Sui: We fight all the time, it happens often. In pairs skating, or any team sport, these kinds of problems arise all the time. After many years, we’ve learned how to compromise.

Xu: How do you guys make it work and stick together?

Sui: Before when we really couldn’t agree or come up with a solution, we would immediately find our coach, I think like this, he thinks like that, what do we do? And we would just go with whatever the coach said was better. Now we compromise or if our ideas are completely opposite, we do rock paper scissors and let god decide.

Xu: Wow, so you use this kind of method? (laughs)

Sui: Yeah and now we’re much more rational during training and we don’t try to assert dominance over one another.  We have to work to maintain each other’s conditions.

Xu: You two seem to have different conditions on and off the ice. Are your personalities similar or different?

Sui: We are two completely different people.

Xu: (laugh) I see that you really like to hassle him (T/N: dragging is probably a better term encapsulation of her sentiment though, kind of like jokingly criticize? it just sounded weird to put it in translation LOL), while I feel like he tries to appear serious.

Sui: No, I just really like hassling/dragging people! Nothing I can do about it, I’m just so used to it, I do it with everyone I talk to. I’m even like this about myself, very self-deprecating.

Xu: You must have lots of fun in your life. When you’re training with the team, do you usually eat with him [in the dorm cafeterias]?

Sui: We usually do eat together. I guess the good thing is that the two of us “look good” together? (laugh) [T/N: she uses the term “赏心悦目” which literally means pleasing to the eyes and heart…so she’s basically say they’re well matched HAHA]

Xu: When you don’t discuss figure skating or training, what other topics do you talk about? Are there any conversation topics you have in common?

Sui: He would tell me about books he recently read, movies he watched, any movies he’d like to see. I usually tell him, man I have things to do…(Xu: laughs) I really do have things to do! I usually have class on Sundays, I don’t really like wasting my free time. But usually most of my free time I’m doing nothing, playing around on my phone, but occasionally I’ll read a book, etc.

Xu: I see. Let’s discuss your coach Zhao Hongbo. Would you consider him a more easy-going or strict/serious coach?

Sui: I would say both. When we encounter hardships, he becomes a lot more easy-going but when we have problems during training then he becomes more strict. Everyone has different sides to them, and he will often try to help us from many angles.

Xu: What has he passed on to you that has helped you the most?

Sui: Because I’m a very fast-paced person, as you can probably tell-

Xu: You’re pretty self-aware!

Sui: Yes yes! And often during competitions, I may get really stressed and unable to control myself.  

Xu: So he helps calm you down.

Sui: He would say, don’t rush, take it step by step, like this past competition. He said just do what you need to do, however you skate we’ll be happy. But sometimes when we’re training and not so rushed, he would tell us, “you see what your competitors are like?” to apply a bit of pressure on us.

Xu: I feel like no matter what situation you’re in, he never seems to get too stressed, he seems very calm. You need a coach like this to keep you level-headed, especially when you’re frazzled, lost, nervous, or when you encounter difficulties. As Shen Xue and Zhao Hongbo are Olympic champions, do you see any points of similarity and difference between you and them?

Sui: Hmm…points of similarity and difference…for differences, the two of us started competing internationally and earned medals much earlier. In addition, the two of us grasped a lot more performance styles.

Xu: So you two perform with more music genre and dance genre.

Sui: Right. We have a lot more variety because a lot of athletes can’t develop a lot of versatility in performance styles.

Xu:  Right now, Shen Xue is the [Chinese skating federation] president, she probably isn’t like Hongbo meeting you in the training center daily. So under what circumstances do you meet up with her, and what do you discuss?

Sui: Sometimes when my condition isn’t so good and I’m in a bad mood, when I’m stressed to a certain limit, she’ll talk with me, give me some small encouragement, step by step work through some problems during training. She would also tell me, “there’s a lot of new kids on the team, you’re all role models, when you have some time help me manage them.” Right now kids are adorable, but then when they’re teenagers/adolescents, then…you know.

Xu: They can be very rebellious.

Sui: They’re okay. Every age there’s something going on.

Xu: President Shen acts as an authority figure, does she give you any advice or guidance with anything?

Sui: Yes, for example during competitions she might give her ideas on hair style, or help with treating my competition tights because sometimes the color isn’t great, so it doesn’t look as bright so she tells me how to treat them so they look a bit better.

Xu: Ah she has many small tips. Finally, a lot of fans may want to know if you have any hobbies/interests?

Sui: Right now I like to read books and do calligraphy. But recently I’ve been pretty busy, I haven’t really been attending my calligraphy class.

Xu: Calligraphy? How did you start? Is it because it helps you calm down or did you like it since you were young?

Sui: Since I was young, I was the kind that wanted to learn everything. I told my mom, I want to learn to sing, dance, draw, play piano, I want to learn everything. My mom said, “who has time for all of that?!” But I still learned a lot of things, I ended up learning dance and martial arts, and of course skating. But outside of school I learned a lot. And english, I learned as well.

Xu: Speaking of english, I saw that you were using Ted talks for english lessons online. How’s that going?

Sui: Eh I don’t think it’s going that great. Sometimes I’ll just try to complete the lesson no matter how sloppily I do. But every day I try to do a few questions and look at them, it’s better than nothing. For english you have to speak and read it often.

Xu: Right, when I see you doing interviews you do speak quite well!

Sui: Well, for those once you do a lot of them you’re used to it.

Xu: That’s true. Last year when I saw you both at the Winter Olympics, I thought wow, seeing so many more Chinese athletes doing interviews in english, I was so happy.

Sui: I actually really like learning things, and I wanted to learn some instruments too. Before I even learned violin but my neck isn’t good for it. (laughs)

Xu: I get the feeling that you’re an extremely versatile person.

Sui: More like I can’t focus on one thing/get distracted easily. (laughs) I can’t ever persist with anything.

Xu: But I feel you already so dedicated to figure skating, you don’t really need any other hobbies, they just make your life more fulfilling (“colorful”). Finally, I want to give you the opportunity to give your loving fans some words/comments.

Sui: Firstly, I really want to thank these numerous fans for their support. I think that they’re all very dear to me, because they don’t have any personal or blood relations, they probably just saw us on TV or in competition one time and grew to love us and support us. Some even travel to follow us across the world. Some of them give us little gifts or throw plushies at every competition. It’s really touching and heart warming. In addition, the cheers and applause we receive at the end of competitions, I believe as an athlete that’s been able to make it this far, I’m so proud and happy. Thank you so much to our friends that are like family to us quietly supporting me and Han Cong. We will continue to work hard to show you our best selves. Thank you everyone.

Xu: Just like you just said, we hope you can maintain your health and have less injuries and fewer dangerous situations, hopefully in future competitions you can continue to surpass yourselves. We also look forward to more surprises from the “onion bucket” team. Thank you, Sui Wenjing!

Sui: Okay thank you thank you thank you!

[leobelgrave]

LEONIDAS BELGRAVE [CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT QUESTIONNAIRE]

BASICS - 1. Height?

Leo is 6′0.

2. Eye color?

Blue/Gray.

3. Do they need glasses?

No.

4. Scars and birthmark?

They have a star-shaped scar on the back of their neck, due to them being incidentally stabbed with a screwdriver by their older brother. They also have a small, round birthmark on the right side of their rib cage, which they affectionately refer to as Pascal, the third nipple.

5. Tattoos and piercings?

They have a poke tattoo of the Aries constellation on their left shoulder blade, which they have no memory of getting.

6. Right or left handed?

Left!

7. Any disabilities? Physical or mental.

Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)

8. Do they have any allergies?

Not that they’re aware of.

9. Favorite color?

Doesn’t have one. Prefers warmer colors, though.

10. Typical outfits?

As eccentric as possible. Sometimes, when they feel more modest they’ll opt for baja hoodies, shawls, mismatched socks. But they also aren’t too shy to wear something more revealing. Sometimes skirts, sometimes slacks, one time literally nothing at all. The colors are always vibrant and eye catching regardless of what they are wearing though.

11. Do they wear any makeup?

Sometimes, though usually only when going out. They like to keep it simple, with a bit of mascara, eyeliner, and gloss. Their nails are always painted, though.

12. What weapon do they use, if any?

They always carry a mace around in their bag, but never once have they used it. Why a mace, you may be wondering? Because it is just as chaotic as they are.

PERSONALITY - 13. Are they more optimistic or pessimistic?

Optimistic.

14. Are they introverted or extroverted?

Extroverted. It’s nearly impossible for them to meet a stranger.

15. What are their pet peeves?

Boring conversation, people who act indifferent about everything, people who get offended easily, using eating utensils when you could use your hands, slow walkers, people who don’t wipe their mouths when they’re eating.

16. What bad habits do they have?

Oh boy. They chew on their cheek, they pull on loose threads, they fidget, they’d bite their nails if polish wasn’t so damn expensive. They are willing to take anything for a temporary escape: usually alcohol and halfling weed but... they are open to other options. They also tend to switch topics quickly and usually focus on having their own reply ready instead of focusing on what the other person is saying.

17. Do they have any phobias?

Getting old. Not physically, but spiritually. In a sense, they’re afraid there’ll be a day where they wake up and realize everything they thought they’d achieve is behind them and they no longer have anything to look forward to or be excited about. Also, sailing. They get seasick easily and there’s too much about the ocean that remains unknown. No thanks.

18. How do they display affection?

They’re super physical. They hold hands a lot, and poke people, and kiss their cheeks, and lay in their laps, and would probably permanently attach themselves to someone if they could swing it. They’re all about affection. It’s intimacy, true, genuine vulnerability, that they can’t really get comfortable with. All the physical attention usually does a good job as a deterrent, though.

19. How competitive are they?

They are ridiculously competitive, even when they don’t mean to be. If they see someone else walking toward the exit at the same time as them, they consciously walk faster and when they beat the other person, who is likely completely unaware there was a race, Leo thinks to themselves, ha, I won!

20. If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be?

Bigger butt. Next question.

21. Do they have any obscure hobbies or routines?

They are really good at knitting and crocheting. A good percentage of their wardrobe is home crafted. They also collect rocks and crystals so that they can make jewelry out of them. They always considered themselves artistic, but their drawing and painting abilities were abhorrent, and their singing voice was... well, not great either. So they found their expression through clothing, which is why they make such weird and bold fashion choices.

BACKSTORY - 22. What are the names and ages of their close family members? Parents, siblings, etc.

His parents, Percival and Herron, are each 59. His brother Tiberius is 34, his sister Elexus is 31, and his brother Maximus is 23.

23. Is their family alive and are they still in contact with them?

Yes, and no. To Leo’s knowledge, they have not spoken in about seven years. They have no memory of this, but they only left home about 11 months ago.

24. Where are they from? City, nation?

They were born in Crowmire, Hegaehend. They grew up there, but ultimately moved to Khaggon in their early twenties.

25. Did they have a childhood best friend?

Leo has never had many close friends, as they tend to hold others at a distance for fear of rejection and of any other sort of downfall that would dampen their spirits. They’re open to the idea, but also no one has bothered to try and break down the walls thus far so in a way, they feel they’ve been right to build them up in the first place.

26. Have they had any pets?

They would love one, but they’re way too irresponsible. There is a stray cat that often hangs out on their windowsill. Leo calls it Blue because it is actually red, and sometimes they feed it scraps.

27. Did they grow up rich or poor? What were their living conditions like?

They grew up pretty comfortable. Their father owned several profitable businesses in Crowmire, so they were lucky to afford a house big enough to fit four children comfortably, and Leo never had to worry about going to bed hungry. All the siblings were meant to stick around and take over the businesses as their own. To Leo’s knowledge, they are the only one who left.

28. What is their educational background?

They went to school full-term, but genuinely did not apply themselves. For instance, when their mother demanded Leo take language courses, they took Draconic and Sylvan. Once they felt they’d learned everything they needed to learn, they sort of tuned it out and waited for it to be over. As a result, Leo isn’t very smart in terms of academic knowledge, but they feel they more than make up for it with street smarts and life experience. (However, they do not in fact make up for it.)

29. As a child, what did they want to be when they grew up?

A performer of some sort. They used to put on dramatic performances with their family where they’d write scripts and force each of them to play characters. Leo, of course, was always the lead. And yes, it was silly, but they actually weren’t a half bad actor. Oh well.

30. What advice would they give to their younger self?

They’d say, “If Mom ever tells you she is good at cutting hair, disagree and politely decline. And the way you’re feeling right now: overlooked, misunderstood, confused- that um... that gets better. You end up liking yourself, so, uh, you know. Might as well start right away. Oh, and when you’re at that one bar with the dog that pees on that dwarf lady, don’t smoke what she sells you. Seriously. Still don’t know where my pants went that night and those were some expensive pants.”

31. Growing up, were they ever bullied or were they the bully?

When they were younger, back before they really discovered themselves, they were bullied quite a bit. But as they grew to enjoy themselves and realized how cool they were for someone so young, they started to genuinely not care, and also they developed really good debate skills so when someone tried to belittle them, Leo usually ended up coming out with the upper hand.

32. Who do they look up to/who is their role model?

There really isn’t anyone they’d consider a role model. They are not at all like the people who raised them and there weren’t many outside influences who ever bothered to try. That might be a large reason Leo is so aimless most of the time: they don’t know which direction they want to go in yet.

PRESENT - 33. Do they currently have a place of residence?

They have an efficiency apartment that they pretty much just use to shower and, sometimes, to sleep.

34. What is their most treasured possession?

Their Reliquary! They keep it in their closet under their sewing supplies but anytime they’re going on a long trip they bring it with them.

35. What is their drink of choice?

Alcoholic. They don’t care if it is the cheapest ale or the most expensive spirit one can find. If it gets them drunk, it’s good.

36. Which king/queen are they loyal to, if any?

If they had to choose one, probably Kaylynn just because she’s the only one who isn’t currently dealing with a war. They actually don’t mind the idea of moving to Anari some day, and would seriously consider it if it didn’t mean such a long sea voyage.

37. Have they ever killed anyone?

They aren’t sure, but they hope not.

38. What was their last promise and did they keep it?

They promised their landlord that they would have the rent, and they did! Two days late, but, still. 

LOVE - 39. What was their first kiss like, if they’ve had one?

They were thirteen and had to kiss a boy named Oliver at a slumber party. As far as they recall, it was not terrible. It must not have been too bad, because they kissed again several times after.

40. Are they in a relationship/have a love interest?

No. Single and terrified of intimacy, unfortunately.

41. Have they ever been in love?

They don’t think of love as some sacred thing that is rare to find; Leo has loved lots of people and lots of things and experiences and memories. Have they ever been in love? No. But if you asked them, they’d lie and say it was all the same.

42. Have they ever had their heart broken?

Absolutely. One of the reasons Leo is so guarded from everyone is because they care so easily. And they trust unwavering. And they’re devastated when things don’t pan out the way they expected them to.

SPIRITUALITY - 43. Do they follow a god, if so who?

Yes: Tymora. There was a while where Beshaba was actively trying to get them to start following her instead, but Leo doesn’t remember this. Not that it matters, they ultimately stuck with Tymora anyway.

44. What do they think happens to them after death?

They don’t know. They keep their options open, but if gods exist and magic exists then it’s perfectly reasonable to believe that there is something waiting when the journey is done.

45. What is their spirit animal?

Fox. Chaotic and sly and pretty and full of mischief.

[gloamingroamingfish]

I’ve got nowhere else to ramble about this really, so here, have my opinions and predictions about all the The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance characters revealed in this article from Newsweek., under a cut because it’ll be long. Uh, possible spoilers for a 40 year old movie? Or the series itself, on the off chance my theories are right? All photos can be seen in the article itself, this post is already long enough. Here we go.

Aughra

Can’t say I won’t miss her original voice, but Aughra’s new VA sounds like she’s going to do just as well, and might even be better suited to the miniseries than the voice from the original movie would be-- a short 80s fantasy flick is a different animal after all. This Aughra has a more complicated costume, which I like, she looks very scholarly, and she also a bit taller, or least less stooped. Yellow’s a good color for her. I just hope her trusty eye’s still removable.

Rian

I remember this character from back when the Henson Company threw a contest to find the author of a new Dark Crystal novel. He was the suggested protagonist, and it was around this time they fleshed out some things about the matriarchal Gelfling society, too. It looks like in this series he keeps his role as a Crystal Castle guard who discovers the Skeksis’ horrid secret and kicks off everything that happens next. He does resemble Jen a lot, which I think is a good thing. The designers knew their baseline. That is a quintessential Gelfling right there.

Gurjin

But of course with a whole Gelfling society to focus on instead of just two of them, they have to decide what variation in Gelflings looks like. This is a great start. I trust this guy. He looks level headed and capable. Probably lets Rian do most of the talking.

Maudra Fara

She looks kind of young for a Gelfling clan matriarch, but maybe there’s a reason for that. There will be a war in this show (that the Gelflings have to lose in order for the movie to happen). Maybe her mother was killed in battle. Fara gives me a “lost one or both parents” vibe.

Naia

Only says that she is Gurjin’s twin. Her name is ringing a bell, was she in another spinoff thing? TDC’s had a surprising amount of those.

Brea

I think I’ve seen her described as a “princess”. But one who can read, based on a photo that’s out! I can’t wait to see Gelfling books. I don’t have many solid impressions of her right now.

Deet

I can’t. She’s. Too cute. My gosh. She is just the right amount of fey and mop-topped and probably psychic. I love her and she reminds me of Kira, who was arguably a better Gelfling hero than Jen was (much love to Jen though).

I also appreciated hearing her speak in the trailer, because she used the same cadence as from the original film, same rhythms and word choices. It sounds like that’s a choice that’s been made across the script, which is a relief because it would have been really jarring to hear these characters speak the way modern screenwriters would make other fantasy tv characters speak, instead of that 80s puppet accent they need.

Tavra

Another weirdly familiar name. I don’t have any ideas about her role, really. I will say that on certain Gelfling ladies, you can see where the designers let the Gelfling baseline slip a bit. Some of them are just a bit too elfin and pretty for my tastes, I like them better when they sit further back in comfortably uncanny territory.

All-Maudra

Yes, this looks exactly like the Gelfing you’d expect Helena Bonham Carter to voice (I did think she was doing a Skeksis though!). Kind of puts me in the mind of a medieval noblewoman; from the info, it’s not clear if she’s literally the queen of all the clans, or just a figurehead, but she does function as a sort of diplomat to the Castle who specializes in dealing with the Skeksis... and from her clothes I’d say they’re rubbing off a little bit. (Is it just me, or does her crown sort of mirror the decorative spikes on the Emperor’s carapace?)

Oh no, what if she’s in cahoots? I can’t imagine consorting with Skeksis all the time is healthy for one’s morals...

Onica

Weirdly tricky to wrap my head around the idea of a Gelfling with curly hair and freckles, but Onica’s cute. Are they one of the sea sailing Gelflings?

Cadia

Gelfling with a beard. Alright. I guess that’s possible. I’ll bet he’s Onica’s uncle or dad or something. I like his face, I hope I like him. He looks like comic relief.

Rek’yr

No idea what to make of this guy. Why is his name different than the others? Is he a leader of an army or some kind of lone wolf?

You know, there are likely going to be Gelflings on both sides of this conflict. the Skeksan status quo is bound to be seductive to at least some of them. Because why not make this story crueler by letting some Gelfling be complicit in their own kind’s destruction?

Librarian

Ha. Nerd. I like his big hat. Which library are we visiting? The Scroll-Keeper’s? Or someone else’s?

Kylan

Okay, this one’s just straight inscrutable. What is that expression? Why are their clothes weirdly plain and red compared to everyone else’s? Red’s not really a Gelfling color. Am I just being paranoid or is there something up with this one?

They remind me of the Chamberlain and I have no idea why???

Seladon

No info here, either. Not listed as a Maudra, but is probably still powerful as Gelflings go. Perhaps connected to the All-Maudra? They seem related.

Ordon

Think I saw this guy in the trailer wielding a weapon. He has the look of an army man out to prove himself in battle only to valiantly sacrifice his life later. Suspiciously specific theory? Yeah, probably.

Mira

Another slightly too pretty Gelfling lady. I’m sure she’s fine. Next.

Maudra Argot

Utterly delightful grandma Gelf. This must be Deet’s Maudra; I adore her floppy hat and classy silver embroidery. She looks like she would offer her loved ones milk and cookies one second and kick Garthim beetle butt the next. I’m sure she speaks her mind, look at that defiant little chin jut. I love.

Hup

Podling!!! Yes I am most pleased this show will feature Potato People. Nothing bad had better happen to Hup.

Baffi

Dave Goelz returns to play a shrieking fluffball! We can’t not have a fizzgig. Fizzgigs all look the same so naturally the crew could only think to give Baffi here a sick eyepatch to set him apart. I approve!

Okay, here’s what I know you scrolled all the way down for! It’s time for our favorite decrepit decadent dinosaurs, starting with...

skekUng, the General

I almost hope this is not in fact skekUng, because this is frankly disappointing. Who is this??? It doesn’t resemble the guy from the original movie even a little bit. I know he would have lost weight in some places and gained it in others, I know it might just be a bad angle, but I can’t find anything in common between the two faces. His teeth are in the wrong place, his beak is the wrong shape, that’s not what his smug expression looks like--I remember him being slightly desperate even when he was winning--he doesn’t have his grizzled hair, or, more importantly, his expressive bushy eyebrows-- I refuse to accept that this is “just what he looked like when he was younger”. This is a totally different Skeksis! Who are you and what have you done with the General!

Even the armor is wrong! It’s supposed to be all bulky and beetle-like, like the Garthim, even with liftable wing-like parts, here it looks loosely ‘inspired’ but still flat and nondescript. Everyone else looks so good and almost just like themselves, crew, what went wrong here? Am I missing something?

Maybe I’m just upset because Ung’s the only one I’ve ever encountered in person. This isn’t even a bad Skeksis design, I’d actually like it quite a bit if it weren’t for the fact that it’s not him.

The Collector

Hello, who is this! I’d almost mistake this charming forest ogre for one of the “good guys” if their Skeksis-ness wasn’t so obvious. I love the silver and grey fabrics, the beaded hood and the mossy necklace of bottles, filled with...herbs? Did some kind of incident with forest plants cause that fungus-like growth/scarring on their face? It adds so much to their facial silhouette.

There was a character in the spinoff manga called skekLach the Collector, but he looked completely different from this Skeksis, much meaner and more imposing. I doubt this one is the same character or even that they have the same name; it would seem that the Henson Company has declared the manga Collector an AU version and retooled the character concept into someone different. I see this Collector as being like a sort of deadly apothecary, brewing potions and poisons from specimens they collect beyond the castle. 10/10 wicked-witchy birb.

skekAyuk, the Gourmand

Still the same old palace chef, sitting there looking like a Renaissance still life gone wrong; his clothes are in much, much better condition though, and you can see his quite unsettling lower teeth which remind me of a pig’s teeth, thanks a lot Henson Co. I know there’s no way you could have know I have a fear of pigs but now I’m all caught up in what I used to be scared the hog in the backyard would do if it caught me and moving on before I freak myself out, okay, very nice teeth there yes--

skekTek, the Scientist

Minus a few blood tubes, plus a few fangs, it’s nothing but a pleasure to see this guy back from his, uh... fate, in the movie. And given that the Skeksis’ precious vliya life fluid is looking like a huge plot point in the series, skekTek here is probably going to figure in the plot quite a lot himself, hooray! He’s going to be played by the inimitable Mark Hamill, who is probably enjoying getting to play slightly against type by being a subdued, schemy, sciencey villain rather than a loud hammy one, and it is going to be amazing.

The Hunter

Heard of this guy! skekMal, I think it was. Dresses in masks designed to frighten and confuse his prey--often Gelflings--during night hunting trips. The deep blue mixes well with the red to keep even his hunting outfit appropriately regal looking. The way I hear it, they have no idea he is in fact a Skeksis, and he has become the subject of terrifying stories told around the fire. Would not want to see this monster bearing down on me in the middle of the night, hellbent on claiming my skull as a hunting trophy.

skekSo, the Emperor

That is the most punchable face I have ever seen on a bird in my life.

But seriously, it’s great to see old skekSo somewhere other than his deathbed. Can’t wait to see what despicable things he gets up to in his prime. He kind of reminds me of a knight, the same way the All-Maudra reminds me of a medieval lady.

(That is totally the face of someone who scarred a generation of children for life by graphically crumbling into dust, and knows it.)

skekZok, the Ritual-Master

Well done resurrecting this particular design, this one’s not easy! I always liked how his head looked almost disembodied in the red velvet cupola of his carapace, and they nailed that penetrating icy blue stare of his, too. They even added to the skull-like effect by giving him a handful of brown, skeletal teeth. Brr.

Base on what I remember of skekZok’s voice, I wish Keegan-Michael Key good luck in reproducing it, although I trust him to bring his own flair to the character like Donna Kimball does with Aughra, too.

skekSil, the Chamberlain

Poor Chamberlain! You look as old and worn as you ever did, just slightly less bald. Oh, well, you’ll survive. You always do.

He’s got a specific vulture hook to his beak that I hope they remade accurately, I can’t tell at this angle, but he looks pretty much just like himself so far, almost like he wandered off the 1981 set and onto the 2019 one. The most important part of his face is his eyes, so I desperately hope the crew put in extra effort where it counts for him, expressionistically. I think we can expect to see plenty of this slimy, conniving old bureaucrat bird in the series, and his trademark skin-crawling whimper too, which it sounds like Simon Pegg’s been practicing in a mirror. I’ve seen Pegg voice act before, so I’m confident he’ll do a good job here. Have fun, Mr. Pegg!

The Heretic

Is that a huge nail through their...

...hey, wait a minute, I recognize this one!

They’re from an old piece of Froud concept art from early in production, when they were still nailing down a species look for Skeksis. It kind of puts me in the mind of a tropical fish. On the real puppet, though, it looks less like natural markings and more like face paint. Their clothes look un-Skeksis-like, too, more like urRu Mystic clothes than anything, although I doubt a Mystic would wear fur. That’s the sign of the Great Conjunction hanging on their chest. What is the source of this one’s heresy? Did they go try to live in the Valley of the Stones after rejecting the Emperor’s dominion over the Dark Crystal? Does it have anything to do with the nail in their head?

skekEkt, the Ornamentalist

And here’s the Castle’s resident fashionista and interior designer, looking pretty well, considering. Better kept clothes and better done makeup, at any rate. I kind of miss the caked on powder, the slathered on gold foil on his beak, and the awful and ashy clumped mascara. But I’m sure he appreciates knowing this prequel’s been very kind to him in the costuming department. Looking good, skekEkt.

skekOk, the Scroll-Keeper

skekOk didn’t have much to do or say in the movie, being just a shorter-than-average Skeksis who kept the records, when he remembered to. I’m glad to see they’ve updated his crocodilian face to be more expressive this time around, he was always one of my favorite designs.

Supposedly, Jim Henson once saw a children’s book in which a crocodile was taking a bath in an ornate bathtub. Something about seeing a hulking reptile in such fancy surroundings made the wheels in his head turn, and the earliest concepts for what would eventually become the Dark Crystal were born. skekOk in particular brings that story to mind.

(I love his sardonic “oh really?” expression in the article I’m looking at. These birds are going to have so much more room for their personalities.)

And then the article shows one single urRu Mystic:

The Archer

I believe their name is urVa. The Mystics tend to defend their Valley through song, but an extra line of defense can’t hurt, and archery can be a very meditative art. The Archer almost looks too active for a Mystic, his eyes just too wide and his fingers too nimble, but there must have been a time when the Mystics weren’t so ponderously slow and forgetful. Seeing the clear eyes and nostrils in their own beak (or beak-like mouth) really makes plain the connection between Skeksis and Mystics, when in the movie it came almost by surprise (but still made sense.) It will be interesting to meet a Mystic like this.

And that’s everyone in the revealed cast, leaving skekNa the Slave-Master and skekShod the Treasurer out of the original Skeksis, and all of the original Mystics, all un-accounted for in the article I read. The show will come out on August 30th. Fingers crossed it’ll be a unique but great experience!

[takaraphoenix]

Out of your holy trinity of Jac characters(Jace, Jack, and Jackson) you ship one of them with every guy in the series, one of them with about ten people, but you ship the last one with only two people? Any particular reasons you only ship Jack with two people?

My holy trinity. *laughs delighted*

So, let me attack this one with math and let me correct you on the facts there before we unpack that last question! ;)

First of all, I don’t ship Percy with every guy in the series. Gabe, Tyson, Grover, Paul, Luke and Leo by now are all on my NOTP list. And that stands against 29 guys I do ship him with (considering you said “guy”, I’m removing all the girls from the equation. They’d mess with it seriously because the number of girls I don’t ship him with is far higher than the number of girls I do ship him with). So I don’t ship him with 1/6 of the dudes available. That’s honestly quite away from every guy, in my mathematical books.

And… okay, fair enough, 10 is a rather good estimate on my Jace ships. But in all fairness, if you take Alec, Bat, Magnus, Jordan, Jonathan, Meliorn, Raphael, Simon, Underhill, Sebastian, Lydia and Maia, you kinda have nearly the whole cast?? The only ones left are people I see as part of his family one way or the other and thus can’t ship with him (Valentine, Jocelyn, Maryse, Robert, Luke, Catarina thanks to my headcanon of Luke/Cat who then end up raising Clary and Jace and Madzie, Clary, Isabelle), or actual lesbians (Aline and Helen) and in this house, we don’t straightbend. So like. Give me more characters, I might develop more ships. *pouts*

Now, let’s move on to Jack.

First of all, I have five Jack ships. Hiccup, older!Jamie, Bunny, Moana Waialiki and Flynn Rider (listen, when Raps is being a huge lesbian, Flynn can be with Jack).

I’m not huge on Bunny anymore, but every time I do rewatch the movie, I get hit with it again. It’s still a ship I have and it was my first Jack ship, that’s also something that means a lot.

Let’s look at why the pool of Jack ships is so limited, shall we?

Characters, in the Rise of the Guardians movie that are available are:

Bunny, who I do ship with him

Jamie, who I do ship with him when he’s aged up

North, who I see as a father-figure for Jack so that’s a no-no for me

Toothiana, who I see as a mother-figure for Jack so that’s a no-no for me

Sandy, who… honestly, I can’t see in a romantic or sexual way because he’s the freaking Sandman, he’s pure and beyond that all

Pitch, who I can… entertain in gorgeous fanarts with Jack but honestly I don’t care enough about him to give him the redemption arc and make him hook up with Jack

the kids of Burgess, who don’t really get much personality and who don’t get enough interaction with Jack to make me care about aging them up to ship them off with Jack. I’m not that desperate to sail a ship all on my own when there’s perfectly sailed and well-traveled ships available that I also sail

And I mean, that’s it. There only are six non-Jack, really fleshed out characters in that movie. And I ship him with two of them. That’s a third, that’s not exactly a bad statistic if you put it in percentage. I just think you should always take the total number available into account too. ;)

Beyond his own franchise, it’s more a matter of “have you ever even thought about this?”. Because I’m not really in the habit of doing crossovers. That Rise of the Brave, Tangled Dragons thing came with pre-installed ships, I had to stumble over that to discover HiJack because honestly I don’t know if I would have thought of crossing those over.

And then, through writing Jack in those crossovers and giving him dynamics to other characters, I gained Moana and Flynn as shipable characters for Jack.

Considering, however, that I mainly write that big crossover for and around HiJack, it’s not that I spend a lot of time contemplating who else I could stick with Jack in there.

Okay. Let me try to put this the other way around, I think it makes more sense there?

Jace Herondale and Percy Jackson come with a large world, with a big franchise that presents a rather big pool of potential partners for both of them.

Jack Frost comes with one movie with a very limited pool of characters (and yes, I’ve read the books. There is not exactly many more characters in there to add to that pool). But I love him so much that it exceeds his small franchise and branches out to find ships even beyond it, something I only started doing for Percy after eight years with the franchise and of shipping him with everyone in his franchise already.

I don’t know, you make it sound like it’s not many ships for Jack, and I conceed that the number itself does sound low, but I still marvel at it, at the fact that I got so invested in one single movie to still be around for it, to try and make various crossovers work and to find lovers for him in other franchises since his own doesn’t offer many choices.

So, I think it’s all a matter of perspective. ;)

[sawyersick]

1 through 69 because you gotta twin with me

OMG ASDFGHJKL

aight here goes bitchez

1. are you religious?

nahh but my parents sent me to church camp when I was in elementary school??? For the cheap childcare I guess???

2. what animal do you think you’re most like?

I haven’t thought about this much but I think a field mouse!!

3. how do you take your coffee?

never……………………… I hate coffee

4. how old were you when you had your first kiss?

my mom’s bosses son forced himself on me when we were 6 lol so I don’t count that……….. so 15 i guess (according to my friend, if there’s no hormones it doesn’t count lol)

5. museum date or aquarium date?

AQUARIUM AQUARIUM AQUARIUM

6. do you have any tattoos or piercings? do you want more?

Just my ears are pierced and I have a whale (badly) tattooed on my hip I’ll post pix if you want but its pretty uggo

I want another whale on the other side so I’ll be symmetrical and a triangle hand tat….. maybe an eyeball tat (a tattoo of an eyeball…. not one on my eye lol)? I’m not really interested in anymore piercings tho

7. favorite fruits?

strawberries!!!

8. favorite vegetables?

when I was 12 I ate so many carrots my skin turned orange and my mom thought I had jaundice

also I heckin love mushrooms

9. i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)

I’ll only date you if you treat me with respect :(

10. do you cry a lot?

yeah lol at least twice a month minimum

11. who are your closest friends?

I don’t really have any? I’ve felt distant from my irl friends lately so idk probably just demo

12. have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?

I did the walk out for gun violence

13. do you play any video games?

helllllls yeah but I usually only play 3/ds

14. did you ever have an emo or scene phase?

yes and I think I’m still in it rip

15. what color is most of your wardrobe?

I think I wear a lot of blue! and black and white too i guess…… I’m trying to add more reds tho

16. what do you like to do for fun?

I bake and sew and draw! and listen to music

17. what is your biggest fear?

body horror tw for this one rip

being abandoned, being forced to do horrifically gross/unclean stuff, getting my eyes gouged out, getting the bones in my hands broken, getting acid poured on my face, the people around me dying, being forced to eat live slugs, getting my skin peeled off with a knife

18. name a subject you know a lot about.

whales/the ocean in general and baking!! and the band Liily

19. favorite fictional characters?

hm idk? Link and Zelda from LoZ, Clover and Snake and Aoi from 999, rhyme from TWEWY, Maka and Soul from Soul Eater, Storm from the Xmen, Ariel from the Little Mermaid, Chun Li, the Kagamines, Rilakkuma

idk I just thought about characters I have merch for

20. do you read a lot? what are your favorite books?

I used to??? Haven’t had the time for it in a while though and I’ve been reading a lot of how-to books as of late….. I really liked the Legend trilogy though

21. how would you describe your style?

art style and fashion style would both be classified as “cute but tries to be edgy” I think

22. did you have a favorite stuffed animal when you were little? do you still own it?

Yes!! a pastel elephant with a rattle in it named Elephant (very creative I know) He’s in my stuff somewhere now and this question reminded me to go find him again

23. what’s something most people love that you hate?

hmmm…. sports? mustard? airpods???? idk

24. do you think you’re a good singer?

actually yes? I wanna be in a band but I’m lowkey afraid of singing in front of people I know but have no problem doing it in front of an audience of strangers hmu if you’re in the SF bay area I’ve written 6 punk songs

25. who do you live with?

my parents and cat

26. favorite desserts?

ice cream, anything with chocolate or whipped cream, creme brulee, lemon tarts

I’m not too picky though lol

27. what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?

realizing that I can actually do mostly whatever I want and most things have fewer consequences than I think

also cutting people out of my life that emotionally exhaust me

28. favorite makeup brands?

uhhhh whatever’s cheap and doesn’t make my eyes burn ig urban decay is good when I can afford it

29. favorite clothing stores/brands?

Goodwill??? I used to shop at f21 but I try not to anymore

30. what was your first job?

working at a lake teaching windsurfing and sailing and I still work there

31. do you take a lot of naps?

n o  I absolutely  h a t e  taking naps and try to avoid them

32. what is your favorite part about your body?

hmm I have pretty good hair i think and sometimes my eyes? I have huge (genetic) eyebags tho which gets me down

33. are you more dominant or more submissive?

In day to day life I guess I’m more dominant??? like I make decisions when nobody else wants to :0 also idk intimately since iM aN aDuLt vIrGiN and pretty sex repulsed but probably sub 

34. are you more outgoing or more shy?

outgoing but sometimes it makes me annoying

35. how tall are you?

short…………………………. 4′8/143 cm

36. what is your body type?

uhh hourglass????? maybe pear I got them Thunder Thighs according to the guy who got kicked out of drama club for peeping in the girls changing room

37. favorite flower?

calendula, sunflowers, lavender and dianthus!!

38. favorite planet?

Neptune??????????????????

39. what do you want to dress up as for halloween this year?

I wanna be the bride of frankentstein but in a shiro lolita coordinate to make her look ~fancy~ or the Nancy part of Sid and Nancy if I’m in a relationship by that time

40. do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?

Ideally the same age and I’m wary of dating anyone more than 2 years younger or older than me but I’m more willing to date older than younger

41. describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.

yall know who it is already but

in a band, dark hair, kinda tall, very fashionable, coincidentally happens to be the same racial mix as me, good at art, very humble, really sweet, lives in SoCal, has a hand tattoo of milk and “aye yah” on his arm, paints his nails orange, wears a lot of rings, gets freckles in the summer, prefers vanilla over chocolate, ties his shoes the cool way

42. who is your biggest inspiration?

idk at the moment? I like to draw from many inspirations

43. do you have any kinks?

???????????????????????????????????

44. do you own any pets?

one (1) very loving cat

45. which celebrity do people say you look the most like?

……………………….. myself

I literally had to google mixed race celebrities and STILL none look like me lol

46. do you like sports?

not really except I weirdly like baseball

47. have you ever seen a broadway musical?

Yes!! I won tickets to On Your Feet and Charlie and The Chocolate Factory

I also won Hamilton tickets but saw it in SF yall should download the app

48. what is your favorite kind of food?

noodles!!

49. would you rather be a fairy or a mermaid?

MERMAID actually I have a mermaid tail too so

50. what is your instagram?

@wishwhale :)

51. glossy lips or matte lips?

glossy by default because I have chronically dry skin/lips so matte lips are sooooooooooooooo uncomfy but it looks good on other people lol

52. do you like cherry, grape, blue raspberry, watermelon, or green apple jolly ranchers the best?

grape because im weird

53. what are your best personality traits?

I’d like to think that I’m kind and sometimes funny

54. what is your ethnicity?

asian/white

55. what different hair colors have you had?

brown and brown with pink that was supposed to be purple

56. favorite disney princess?

Ariel! bc mermaid

57. favorite album of 2017?

Humanz by Gorillaz  or Deep Dream by Daddy Issues I guess

I was weirdly obsessed with Feel Your Feelings Fool when it came out but I’m not really into it anymore though

58. have you ever had braces?

nah

59. favorite holiday?

Halloween! Because dressing up is fun

60. post a selfie.

how do I make this smaller anyways I don’t normally wear this much makeup but I’m going to a small show tonight

61. are you a good swimmer?

Yes!! I swim once a week at my local pool

62. do you wear jewelry?

I used to wear a lot………. like multiple necklaces and bracelets and rings daily but now I wear my ring every day and a necklace/earrings if I remember

63. can you play any instruments?

I’m learning guitar!!

64. do you have any siblings?

short answer is no but you can dm me for the long answer

65. are your grandparents still alive? how old are they?

just my maternal grandmother and she is almost 90! My paternal grandmother lived to 102 so I’m hoping for those good genes though (I think she would have lived longer because my family suspects elder abuse by my weird aunt)

66. who knows the most about you?

hmm probably Demo or Emily

67. are you a more quiet person or do you talk a lot?

I! Never! Shut! Up!

68. what advice would you give to your 13 year old self?

shut the fuck up you stupid bitch you arent cool

69. how many pillows do you sleep on?

two

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 13x23 “Let The Good Times Roll”

idk what you guys thought but I LIKED IT and here’s why!!!! (EXCEPT THAT THING WITH THE KNIFE??? WHAT THE HELL???)

04:02pm

so it only took 45 minutes to an hour to find somewhere to watch this, my thanks to @trisscar368 for helping me out!!!

eventually found it streaming rather than downloading, would not recommend but HEY IT WORKS (for now) [http://gorillavid.in/zbtu97hfei65]

this feels like it’s 2008 all over again, trying to watch doctor who after school

OKAY LET’S GO

i’ve seen a bunch of major spoilers but i know cas doesn’t die so i’m good. apparently it’s A Boring Episode but also MICHEAL and LUCIFER so

idk idk let’s just watch the thing and find out what happens

-

04:04

rowena: is there, i dunno, music? CARRY ON MYY WAYWAR---

fuck

-

04:09pm

feels good having bobby there

-

BOBBY’S REACTION TO TRUMP IS THE BEST EVER

“and you call where WE come from ‘apocalypse world’?”

-

04:11

cas: “they’re talking about whether kylie jenner would make a good mother. consensus is no”

hey give her a chance

i mean i know nothing about her but she seems... teachable?

-

dean: “yeah well, that’s why i’m a chloe man”

WHOOOOOP dean loves his girly trash tv i see

-

brown werewolf: “now that is why i’m a chloe man”

dead brown person alert :|

how naive i was to think he might be left alive because he got a speaking line and made himself a dean parallel with that single line

-

04:16

mary: “do you really like the rain?”

bobby: “when it’s this beautiful, i do”

lest anyone forget bobby is a gentle down to earth sweetheart

soft papa bear

-

“rowena and charlie are road-tripping it through the south-west”

WOULD WATCH THAT SPINOFF

but #savewaywardsisters first

-

04:19

dean: “can you imagine? you, me, cas, toes in the sand, couple of those little umbrella drinks, matching hawaiian shirts, obviously”

PLEASE

“....some hula girls“

mmmm *squints at how that part was said after a....... pause, off-screen with the camera on sam*

-

04:24

dean to jack: “it’s not about being strong....... i don’t know what you went through over there... but i know you came out the other side. because you ARE strong”

good papa dean words

much love for him and his emotional avaliability

-

04:26

dean: “whatever you’re dealing with, whatever comes at us, we’ll figure out a way to deal with it. together. we’re family, kid”

sam said it to dean, dean said it to jack

i guess the next step is ...jack saying it to cas?? SOMEONE’s gotta say it to cas

but also WOOOO DEAN’S CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT REGARDING JACK SINCE THE START OF THE SEASON

-

04:32

um

is it just me or is this a seriously unfortunate racist-looking coincidence

desperately hoping this wasn’t the guy who killed maggie

(i don’t think it is, which means maybe this is a “don’t jump to conclusions” kind of storyline which has a race-relations subtext??? i wish it meant nothing besides jack’s need to protect others, but given the lack of living characters of colour on this show, the minute a person of colour shows up, it BECOMES about the fact they’re not white, bECAUSE they always die, invariably)

anyway, my point is: this is problematic

also the red shirt. as in “red shirts always die” ??

edit: thank goodness....... RED HERRING

-

“3 sheeps” poster in the background

i remember this symbolism from something earlier but can’t remember exactly what

i’m thinking lambs to the slaughter, or being part of a flock, or being herded into something they’re wrong about, being naive, following each other one by one into the unknown

wow reading tarot has improved my “make a list of all the obvious symbolism” skills

-

04:39

the fact cas is suffering with the angel language whistle is interesting?? i thought it hurts dean because he can’t understand it

which means.......cas isn’t understanding this noise?

or maybe he is understanding, it’s just real loud

-

04:42

enjoying sam being protective of cas

-

lucifer: ........”the three amigos.... sam, dean, and the other one”

that’s probably how a lot of people see team free will tbh

how sad

-

lucifer: “you want a lightsaber?”

jack:

vroom

we mAY HAVE LONG SAID HE’S TOO PRECIOUS FOR THIS WORLD BUT WE NEVER MEANT FOR HIM TO LEAVE

-

04:50

that awkward moment when you’re trying to solve a murder and your adorable magic grandson comes home with the devil

:o

-

the face you make when the devil makes an ableist joke about your son and then says “no offence”

(the ”i would murder you but there’s enough dead bodies in here right now” face)

-

04:56

maggie: “kinda seems like you have... you know, bigger.... satan-y... problems”

bless this girl

-

05:00

dean: “as shakespeare once said: eat me, dick-bag”

tbh shakespeare probably did say that at one point or another

add shakespeare to the list of dean’s bisexual heroes

(follow up thought: what if when cas could time-travel, he and dean and sam went to go explore shakespeare’s town and dean made.... Friends)

-

05:04

lucifer’s talking to jack about their future space travels

i mean i think it’s fairly obvious, lucifer was the one who killed maggie, so he could bring her back and impress jack

maggie said “i didn’t see their face but i saw their eyes” and that means it was either lucifer or michael with the glowing eyes, and micheal said to dean “you’ll be the first life i take in this world” which leaves lucifer

stinking nasty manipulative trash angel

-

05;07

micheal, while strangling dean: “could’ve done this quick, but i wanted to enjoy it, that moment when the soul leaves the body”

yeeeah okay sure, speak aloud your reasons you’re stalling for time while jack figures out how to get back

-

05:10

jack to lucifer: “you’re not my father. you monster”

HUZZAH

-

for the record i’m... reaLLY ENJOYING THIS episode so far

it’s all big and mighty and magical but the core of the story is a boy trying to find his family and figure out the truth behind his manipulative father

i’m so glad it led to this because i am HERE for this kind of story

the world hangs in the balance, but it’s not dean, cas and sam trying to save everyone, it’s jack trying to find his place among loved ones, and by following his desire to help people he’s learning what he needs to know

i fucking love this okay

-

05:14

lucifer: i just need your power--

OH NO I SPOKE TOO SOON

OH NO

-

05:17

michael: “this is the end. of everything”

I SEE DEAN’S COGS WHIRRING AND I WORRY

nine years of not saying yes to micheal and now it’s happening isn’t it

-

05:20

jack’s pained little whimper :c :c :c

-

05:21

dean: “i am your sword”

CHILLS

-

05:22

dean: “CAS I DON’T HAVE A CHOICE”

cas: D:

PERFECT MOMENT FOR AN AGGRESSIVE KISS but nope that would be too much like goodbye

-

05:24

third option rather than sam or jack trying to kill each other: they pick up lucifer’s blade and kill lucifer with it

-

05:26

WHAT 

NO

??????

BAD IDEA????

JUST STAB LUCIFER????

-

jack:  i love you

NOO ;;A;A;A;A;A;A;A;;A;A

DJSGJD

I’M NOT ENJOYING THIS 0/10 WOULD NOT RECOMMEND 

PLEASE STOP

-

05:27

WELL FUCK

hi there

WHHHOOOOOOO

meanwhile back at the bunker: cas has the weirdest traumatic boner

-

05:29

THE WINGS KEEP GETTING BIGGER

-

05:31

interesting angel flying physics here

dean flails while sailing slowly backwards

i mean i know he’s on a suspension wire but technically waving his arms about ought to affect his position

-

05:33

LITERALLY SAM COULD’VE DONE THAT TO BEGIN WITH

WHAT EVEN WAS THE POINT OF THIS

HE COULD’VE ACTED LIKE HE WAS ABOUT TO STAB JACK AND THEN GO WHOOSH AND STAB LUCIFER

SAM HAS FUCKING NOODLE ARMS HE COULD’VE DONE IT WITH HIS EYES CLOSED

JEEZ

-

05:35

okay but i’m laughing right now

are you telling me this is what happens if lucifer accidentally trips and falls on his knife

where did that golden blade come from anyway

has lucifer just been carrying it around this whole time?

COULD ANYONE HAVE PICKPOCKETED THAT KNIFE AND STABBY STABBY >>> EXPLODING FLYING FLAME DEVIL ??

WHAT BRAIN CELLS WAS LUCIFER MISSING TO HAND THAT BLADE TO SAM WINCHESTER IN THE FIRST PLACE

OR GO INTO BATTLE WITH MICHAEL WITHOUT THE KNIFE

OR TO HAVE THAT BLADE ON HAND IN THE FIRST PLACE ??????????

I’m sorry i just find this hilarious

i mean good fucking riddance to this trash angel but wow what a way to get there

all of this was so easily avoidable ?? i seriously don’t understand what possessed sam to think “aw yeah let’s pick up this magic devil blade to KILL MY OWN SON and/or HAND IT TO HIM SO HE CAN KILL ME” instead of “umMMM the devil just gave me a magic knife and is trying to tell us to kill each other maybe we should kill him with it”

I HOPE SOMEONE IN THE WRITER’S ROOM HAS A REALLY GOOD EXPLANATION FOR THIS

-

05:45

HAPPY RELIEVED SAMMY

why do i feel like everything’s about to go terribly terribly wrong, worse than before

-

05:48

i mean micheal!dean looks good though

despite everything i think dean would approve of the outfit

-

like he actually looks a little bit TOO attractive

definitely not to be trusted

you know when people just look TOO handsome and shiny and perfect and they’re TOO charming and you know something’s up

this guy’s got danger written all over him in sleek & elegant calligraphy

-

05:50pm

mmmmmmmmm okay, it’s over

i liked it ?

felt old-school, kinda like a buffy episode or an x-files episode

things i’m happy about: everyone lived and lucifer died!! this is a pretty cool progression of events and i’m interested to see where it goes (not EXCITED, i’m not EAGER, but i am interested). that black dude was not the one who killed maggie. maggie survived!!!

things i’m not thrilled about: the fact sam didn’t just stab lucifer in the face when he was right next to him holding the magic knife?????? i don’t get it and i don’t think any kind of meta is actually gonna be able to explain how ~UM EXCUSE ME JUST ONE SECOND~esque that moment was

no bechdel test pass

jack’s personal arc this season was great and i love him

as always, this show is riveting to me only because i care so much about the characters, and i cannot tELL YOu how fucking pleased i am that this show’s universe is now a universe where bobby, charlie, mary, rowena, dean, cas, sam, jack, jody, donna, claire, the other wayward girls, and billie ALL EXIST AND ARE ALIVE

seriously could’ve done with some kevin too, i’m still bummed that he’s died TWICE now and isn’t back permanently yet

but HOLY SHIT THE REST OF THEM ARE ALL ALIVE 

GIVE ME A TEAM-FREE-WILL-MAJOR SEASON WITH ALL THE SQUAD ALIVE AND KICKING ASS AS A GROUP

like... save dean as a group, then one by one discover that dean and cas have been locked in a room without clothes for three days, then save the world and retire forever as a happy, healthy hunter squad with their gay dads

FUCK YEAH

overall, this episode is maybe a 9/10 just because that FUCKING KNIFE man. i dunno what to think about that.

like .........why

i also want cas to have a season arc!!! a positive one!!! where he actually accepts love and expresses affection and receives AUDIBLE AND VISIBLE AND TANGIBLE affection from others!!!

and for fuck’s sakes stop killing people of colour, give us more women of colour who are good and don’t die, pass the bechdel test more often

AND ABOVE ALL GIVE US WAYWARD SISTERS I WANT THAT SHOW SO BADLY AND EVERYTHING IT REPRESENTS

IT WOULD FILL IN ALL THE GAPS THAT ARE MISSING FROM THIS SHOW

PLEASE

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S1 Ep 39: Turns Out It’s Really Easy to Be Psychic

So this week I’ve been a little under the weather because of some very aggressive pollen that has given me an eye twitch for two straight weeks (I’m in the most mediocre hell), and so forgive me if the recap is a little sparse and also if I just don’t...get why some things happened this episode. This was the episode where stuff just happens and I asked why to my bro but he kept getting distracted by talking about the actual cards and y’all know I don’t follow those. I can only handle so much lore.

So, I figure well, I know you guys don’t care when I botch understanding the intricate lore of Yugioh so get ready, because here it comes, right out of the gate.

Why is Grandpa here? Did I miss something?

This is the first time Pharaoh and he have met and what wonderful timing. Not sure how Grandpa is able to just appear, or if maybe this is just a figment of Yugi’s left over brain, or if Pharaoh just willed this to happen with puzzle powers? I dunno, it’s unimportant because he shows up randomly for a few minutes and then zip, he’s just gone.

Like even in a dream Grandpa was a playing card. This grandpa is like...a full on Grandpa, just hanging out in the open forum that is Yugi’s head.

(read more under the cut)

On the other side of the pale, Yugi’s three friends decide they need to do the friendship thing. The power of friendship. The all-encompassing power of friendship that is in every anime but never fully explained. This is fine. I’ve seen anime before, so I’m already familiar with this.

But instead of thinking “I believe in you!” and then having Yugi -who is already psychic-overhearing it, they instead have this a ritual they go through to psychically hang out in Yugi’s head.

Where did they learn to do this? Like if Pharaoh or Yugi or Bakura or any of the psychic players had explained even a little bit of How To Do Psychic Stuff I’d be like sure, this is fine. Instead, it’s like the puzzle makes it so the friends can just bum on over to Yugi’s head? Just like that? Why would they even have this idea?

But nah, this is just a thing that happens now--and while it probably won’t be utilized ever again, now we know that, if they felt like it, the three friends could just shake hands and then be like “hey Pharaoh, what’s up?”

And I watch these episodes with my bro and I asked him “bro, what was...what was happening here?” and although he is my house expert on Yugioh he was like,

“Uh, I don’t remember this part at all.”

“So HOW did this happen? Like, freakin Joey can’t be more psychic than Pegasus with a millennium eyeball, right? Is Yugi just a discord server you can log onto? How was it that easy?”

“I dunno, puzzle necklace!”

“The answer can’t just be puzzle necklace!”

“PUZZLE NECKLACE!”

The first time that Yugi’s friends get to finally meet Pharaoh and throw a sweet ass brain party in his own space, is a time where Yugi is completely prone and won’t remember any of it. This show just loves dunking on Yugi Muto.

How sweet would that brain party be though? And I don’t mean in a literal sense, because that party would suck so much, but it would be sweet because it would be so weird. Pharaoh seems like the type of guy who, after being alone for 4000 years is like “crap, I have company!?” and then puts on an Enya CD and is like “Enya’s what you’re into, right? Sail Away?” and then pulls out like 100 gallons of alcohol and is like “finally! I can do something with all this beer I got buried with--oh wait--kid’s can’t drink in this century! Beans!” and then after about a few bottles in as the evening wears on is like “Pssst- I know what your thinking because I can literally read your mind and so CHECK THIS OUT: it’s a canopic jar: YEAH that’s my liver! Just kidding that’s a soap dispenser. I have no idea where my liver is.”

So there’s this monster on Pegasus’ side. My bro talked to me about 10 minutes of why this monster is the worst and I don’t recall any of it, but just know that apparently in the actual game this upcoming sequence is not even possible.

Not like I’m going to go into depth into Pegasus’ gross cards because 1.) I don’t cover duels here and 2.) it’s very...

There is a lot of...sexual undertones in the duel monsters. Like Pharaoh’s ultimate monster was just covered in belts, which is his MO, but also it’s like...kinda BDSM-ey? It’s hard to avoid it because...just look at that eyeball thing. How did that air? With that...appendage?

Anyway, they win, thanks to the unlimited supply of friendship but mostly an unlimited supply of hair. I spared you having to see that eyeball monster do a lot of really gross things.

Can you imagine if your best friends got to walk through your mind? It’s like if they read your journal but a million times closer than that. It’s more like if they saw you on the toilet. That type of closeness. Privacy just doesn’t seem to be a concept on this show.

Anyway, Yugi is back, with some battle damage, but overall just fine despite the fact he...died? Semi-died? Super unclear how he’s back or if he was gone or...if I’m thinking too much.

Oh yeah, I totally forgot that Pegasus’ wife is probably a zombie somewhere. Oh man this arc really isn’t over, is it? This isn’t the last episode of the season--we’re...really far off from that actually.

Man this high-five where they biff it is really good.

Pleased with themselves, they turn around to cash in their prizes only to realize the obvious:

I am very shocked, now that I think of it, that Pharaoh decided not to mind-wipe Pegasus. Of everyone you could have mind-wiped, this was The Guy. Like yes, it doesn’t work very well, but if it only worked long enough to get off this island, then it would have been worth it. I guess Pharaoh was overly distracted by other things. He was just so excited about the impromptu block party in his head.

WHAT?

We went through THREE EPISODES saving Mokuba from Bakura and now we’re just gonna leave the two together? Man, Tristan is so confident in his work he seems to forget that Everything Golden Is Magic And Can’t Be Trusted With Children.

JUST WOW!

Anyway, Bakura’s gonna take a break from snatching Mokuba because he wants to add an eyeball to his collection.

Anyways, next week, on Yugioh:

Will it be revealed that there’s like 60 Cecilia’s, but they’re all built horrifically wrong? Where’s my anime lunch!? Is Seto Kaiba also just hanging out in a cell waiting for Tristan to come over and give him a piggy back ride?

[gracebriarwoodwrites]

25 Questions Tag Game

I was tagged by the lovely @hklunethewriter! Thank you!

1. Is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?  There are a few. I have documents full of ideas for a mystery novel that I want to write, and there are a few more intense family drama type stories that I could create, but I think I need to be an adult-ier adult before I can pull them off. My main works in progress that I have going right now are, I think, good matches for the level of insight I have.  2. What work of yours, if any, are you embarrassed about existing?Everyone writes cheesy, hyper-dramatic poetry that they wouldn’t show anyone, I think. I’m not embarrassed that it exists, but I’d be embarrassed to show anyone.  3. What order do you write in? Front of book to back? Chronological? Favorite scenes first? Something else? I usually write in chronological order, but I always have at least a decent idea of the endpoint, and I’ll sketch out some favorite scenes out of order along the way. 4. Favorite character you’ve written? I really love Dana in my science fiction WIP. If she were real, I would have so much respect for her strength, her values, and her determination to do what is right. She has flaws, of course, I don’t think she always sees people’s decisions clearly, but she’s still in college, and that’s insight she will get as she gets a bit more mature. I can’t wait to send her on this journey and see how she turns out.  5. Character you were most surprised to end up writing? I really thought that Sam was going to be a throw away character, but nope, he’s in this for the long haul. I’m glad. Using him as cannon fodder would have been silly, he’s too cool a character for that. Also, I didn’t like that I’d be vaguely suggesting that he might have somehow cosmically deserved his fate.  6. Something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now It’s never too late to make changes. If it needs changing, I’m gonna do it (unless we’re talking a few years down the road when I have publishing deadlines, in which case, it’s their fault.) 7. When asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write? Everyone who knows me knows that I write! I never shut up about it, I’m awful. They don’t always know much about what I’m writing, but I don’t feel like I can give people a decent understanding of myself if they don’t know that this is what I do. 

8. Favorite genre to write I have been loving sci-fi lately. I am obsessed with creating the future in a way that (unless you wander out too far) matches a lot of my hopes and dreams. Humanity made it, everyone’s all here, everyone’s culture is still here and still respected, we’ve got infinite diversity in infinite combinations, and the kids are alright. I’m very much a hope-punk type of person, and I feel like I’m doing a lot of that in my WIP. Yes, there’s conflict, but it’s the conflict that comes when a good place needs defending to keep it good. Not everything’s mired in darkness, and the world is saveable.  9. What, if anything, do you do for inspiration? Live. Coming in contact with new ideas always inspires me, new music inspires me, art and photography inspire me... it’s all inspiring if you just let yourself see the beauty in things and never stop asking “what if?” and “why?” 10. Write in silence or with background music? Alone or with others? I almost always write alone, and I’ll usually have ambient noise happening. Music’s too distracting for me, but silence is a little too much, too.  11. What aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing? I’ve gotten a lot better at creating clarity in my work. 

12. Your weaknesses as an author? I like going on tangents. I want to explore all the possibilities a world has to offer, and in real life, we go on tangents, we aren’t just driven constantly by one sole purpose. However, writing is not real life! Purposeless scenes in a book tend to bog down a story. It’s all got to serve the main purpose, whether you’re building important dynamics or setting the stage for future events.  13. Your strengths as an author? Everything ;) Just kidding. I’m really good at characterization and decently good at setting a scene.  14. Do you make playlists for your work? I’ve got playlists for the characters in the sci fi WIP, but usually, no.  15. Why did you start writing? Honestly? I’ve always loved books, and once I was finally persuaded that I was good at writing, I was like yeah, I’ll make more of these.  16. Are there any characters who haunt you? Yeah. I absolutely love the protagonist of a book I started writing in high school. She was this super-badass princess in exile, but a major piece of the premise got used in another book that came out that I’m not going to name, and it kind of took the wind out of my sails. (To add insult to injury, my mom, who didn’t know what I was writing, got obsessed with said book and was also like “I could see you writing something like this!” which was high praise, but also kind of hurt.) I haven’t been able to get back into the high-fantasy flow since then, and I have a lot more to say in my other projects. Maybe I’ll go back one day.  17. If you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be? JUST KEEP WRITING YOUNG LADY IT DOESN’T HAVE TO LOOK LIKE A FINISHED NOVEL RIGHT AWAY 18. Were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? What were they? Yeah, definitely. I don’t write too much like these authors, but Eoin Colfer was hugely influential in basically creating my sense of humor, and I always turn to Neil Gaiman when I want to get inspired by the gorgeous power of words.  19. When it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.? Oh, look, I found another weakness. Usually scribbled notes somewhere, sometimes.  20. Do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts? Usually long sit-down sessions. Once I find my flow, it’s impossible to stop until something makes me stop.  21. What do you think when you read over your older work? "Oh, hey, this was good for my age at the time!” 22. Are there subjects that make you uncomfortable to write? Yeah. I don’t feel super comfortable writing sexy content--I just feel like it’s a really subjective thing that can squick a lot of people out or just create major awkwardness. Some people write this stuff really, really well, but I don’t think I’m one, and I never want to alienate a chunk of an audience. I’d much rather let my audience fill in the blanks on their own so that everything is to their tastes.  23. Any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing? Yeah, a lot of weird things have happened around me.   24. Have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story? I’ve never become an expert in anything, but I do tend to do at least a bit of research.  25. Copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of. Hmmmmmm... I’m not quite ready on the sci-fi WIP just yet, I don’t think.

I shall tag @luminahart, @gloriawriting, @maximumsuckage, @boothewriter, @thatstupidgirlshow and anyone else who wants to do this!