#yes that was a long stupid setup for a bad pun
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trek-tracks Ā· 1 year ago
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Bashir: Miles, we've been drinking in my quarters for five hours now. Don't you think it's time to call it a night?
O'Brien: Come on, Julian, just one more. Maybe we could go play darts at Quark's...
Bashir: You can, but I'm exhausted. Did I not tell you how long I was in surgery? For six-
O'Brien: Six hours, yes, limbs everywhere, I heard you. And I kept the station's life support system from going offline for seven. Just a normal day at the office.
Bashir: And I'm tired. Go bother Keiko.
O'Brien: She's having a girls' night.
Bashir: Well, go have a girls' night with her. I'm going to bed.
O'Brien: But can we just -- as Yeats once said --
Bashir: No Yeats. We're doing a Robert Frost.
O'Brien: A Robert Frost?
Bashir: Yes. Miles TO GO before I SLEEP.
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courage-a-word-of-justice Ā· 4 years ago
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Maou-jou 9 - 12 (FINAL) | Idolish7 s2 10 - 15 (FINAL) | SLS 2
Iā€™ve been holding off new seasonals because of other things, but after I post this Iā€™ll have enough time to get around to them. Thatā€™s why I canā€™t guarantee winter 2021 seasonal tags on this post...maybe the next one will have them...
Maou-jou 9
ā€¦it seems shopping channels even are the same in the demon world.
Now even the demons have quests! (The frame is different to the princessā€™s, though.)
Oh! The quest failed.
Neo Alraune: in flower language, ā€œthe 2nd coming of happinessā€. The worry from a little while ago was, ā€œIā€™m worried about my brother.ā€ The worry from recently: ā€œI didnā€™t think about being happy that the princess didnā€™t kill my brother.ā€
The penguin demons are pretty cute!
Donā€™t you know how parents forbid children from sleeping until they finish all their homework? Must be something like that.
Yoku ganbarimashita! ā€“ Syalis worked hard!
LOL, mental age: 3. Poseidon likes cute thingsā€¦I canā€™t read a lot of thisā€¦the hardsubs cover the JPN text.
Theyā€¦both succeeded! (ā€¦LOL?)
Maou-jou 10
Owarinocity = Endopolis. Itā€™s a good equivalent, if I do say so myself.
ā€¦oh yeah. What happened to Alraune? Update: There she is!
Also, that blonde guy in the infomercials doesnā€™t look too badā€¦*makes chefā€™s kiss gesture with one hand* Nice.
I wonder, was Twilight once humanā€¦?
LOL, thereā€™s a goat symbol on the clericā€™s pyjamas. Also ā€œfirst timeā€, LOL.
I think they were playing shiritori at one point.
Hanamaru saikou yoku dekimashita!
Maou-jou 11
ā€¦How does one ā€œsleep cheerfullyā€, anyway?
I think I saw Twilight drop somethingā€¦some kind of paperā€¦
Aw, Twilight blushing is kinda cute!
LOL, 70s shoujo style. Also, ā€œIt cannot be!ā€
Whoa, she cancelled it?!
I read up on this series on TV Tropesā€¦and apparently the Demon King captured the Princess in her sleep.
Kagemusha? Like a ninja or something?
Apparently the Demon Cleric is much older than he looks.
Ooh! Hypnos is back!
A-whatsit really is abysmal levels of stupid!!! (LOL)
Maou-jou 12 (FINAL)
Whoā€™s that one tiny guy occupying one of the Ten Kingsā€™ seats?
*watching after Christmas, about a week after the anime finished* This is not seasonally appropriate!
ā€¦*thinks for a second, then spits* Thatā€™s the 2nd Nemu in the fall 2020 season!!!
Ooh, the head paladin doesnā€™t look that bad, either.
ā€œā€¦is it good to beā€¦ā€
ā€œā€¦has seized the princess!ā€
ā€œā€¦that demon king is rather cute.ā€ ā€“ See? Someone agrees with me.
Anyways, that was a fun series. See you soon!
Idolish7 s2 10
ā€¦Back at it after so longā€¦(I canā€™t help it though ā€“ Crunchyroll, per month, is about double the local Funimation sublicensorā€™s fees, and for much less content thatā€™s worth my money to boot!)
Iā€™ve always thought Momo was like Sasara (HypMic), so seeing him anguished hurts me in the kokoro tooā€¦
I know Banri was involved with Re:vale somehowā€¦this must be it.
ā€¦Male idols are also popular among men? Is this why there are 8 (!!!) idol anime in winter 2021 aloneā€¦? (Also, thatā€™s why HypMic became popular? Multidemographic appeal crossed over with obvious merchandising opportunities?)
Itā€™s kind of scary how Momo stepped the formality towards Yuki like that (to -san).
I guess in his heart Momo still reveres Yuki, some way or another.
The rakugo curtain really sold the moment that they (current Re:vale) were acting like an old married couple.
Yay! Silver Sky is such a cool song! Of course I recognised the intro when it came on.
ā€¦I see. The elder Kujo is entrusting his dream to Tenn, so thatā€™s why he banned Aya from seeing Tamaki. However, itā€™s hard to know what to feel when Aya speaks in the vaguest terms possible.
I think that was a special ending for only this episode. I donā€™t know what its name is, but I guess I might recognise it on Spotify one day.
Idolish7 s2 11
LOL, Nagiā€™s reaction.
Considering the ā€˜rona is getting worse outside our very windows as we speak (type?), I think itā€™s correct to be concerned about your future right now.
Looking at these narrow streets reminds me of going to eat hotpot at the end of my Japan tripā€¦only Japanese streets look like that, I think. Hong Kongā€™s streets are more crowded than that and America likes their suburbia.
Of course, when you say hajimemashite (nice to meet you), someoneā€™s gotta say it back, hence the reply.
Considering there are people all over the world watching the Idolish7 anime, I would say you are telling the world about I7, Riku.
Oh! Restart Pointer! There was an MV for that oneā€¦I think it was around the time Idolish7ā€™s MVs started getting better.
So this is the context around the new outfits! Cool!
There have been way too many puns about ā€œidolā€ beingā€¦yā€™know, ā€œai (love) dollā€ and stuff like thatā€¦
I have one Twitter person who I follow (DejiNyucu, part of the creative team for Autumnā€™s Journey) because I donā€™t get much I7 content and they keep mentioning this ā€œHarukiā€ personā€¦and suddenly a ā€œHaruki the Betrayerā€ showed up in the graffitiā€¦they might be the same person, I think. Not Deji, but Haruki. Update: Sakura Haruki, perhapsā€¦?
Sougoā€™s such a bad liarā€¦
Sometimes, the best way to deal with things is to be directā€¦(Iā€™m not very good at that, I naturally talk in a very roundabout sort of way.)
Sougo with long hair like Yuki would be really prettyā€¦ (<- has an obvious thing for guys with long hair)
Idolish7 s2 12
Nagiā€™s stupid accent is generally what heā€™s best remembered for (for me), so seeing him speak normally, and do a press conference on top of that, isā€¦impressive.
A kabedon on top of all this! Whoa!
Shibuya 109 parodyā€¦? (Iā€™ve seen that once or twice ā€“ parodying that means people know their stuff about Shibuya.)
I think the ā€œitā€™s overflowing!ā€ is referring to the hype in the ā€œroomā€.
ā€¦this dejected Momo is worryingā€¦(well, he is worrying and I am worrying about him.)
Oh, I see. The person responsible typed the letter so that they couldnā€™t be traced back. Kind of like those old movies where the culprit would cut letters out of newspapers to make threat mail, butā€¦with even less traces than that, because cutting letters out leaves evidence.
ā€¦wow, it took a while for this ep. to have an introā€¦
ā€¦LOL, I just spotted Kenjiro Tsuda cited as the ā€œfake Zeroā€, meaning the real one might never show up this season.
Thereā€™s something really stupid and infectious about these managersā€™ enthusiasm for drinking energy drinks. It puts a goofy smile on my face.
Is Musubi Tsumugiā€™s motherā€¦? Update: Yes, she is.
ā€¦Wait, so the Chiba Shizuo guy is actually important?!
Idolish7 s2 13
Whenever someone says ā€œby the wayā€, it means theyā€™re changing the subject. I hate to state to obvious, but Sougo is clearly deflecting the topic of conversation from being about him.
I wonder if this guy (Haw9) is the actual Zero graffiti vandalā€¦?
Hmph, I didnā€™t realise Tenn doesnā€™t refer to Kujo-san as his father, butā€¦like that (ā€œKujo-sanā€) instead.
Oh hey! These are shots from Vibrato!
Most dramas can be solved with the power of Good Communication. That includes this one.
I feel like ā€œhe has a dark sideā€ describes both Tenn and Kujo-san.
ā€œEveryone, remember to wash your hands and gargle thoroughly.ā€ ā€“ This is always a good thing to remember in the time of ā€˜rona. Reminds me of Jakuraiā€™s line in ARB (<- this game started just after the ā€˜rona came down).
What did Sougo go to uni for (what specialisation)?
Idolish7 s2 14
I just realised Banri calls Momo -kun. Hmmā€¦
Denki = electricity, LOL.
I feel like Tenn is basically Ramuda, give or take actual pink hairā€¦guys in musical groups with pre-existing angst that they become the ā€œcentreā€ of. The fact Fling Posse have Saito Soma and so do Trigger strengthens the connection.
I would watch the heck out of a musical like that! Make it come true, Idolish7! (Also, today is I7 day! Iā€™m not much of an I7 fan outside the anime, butā€¦thatā€™s cool!)
That shot of them jumping! I remember seeing it on the official site before!
Idolish7 s2 15 (FINAL)
There you go! I was wondering where Banriā€™s injury was ā€“ that was the only bit that didnā€™t add up for him to be Yukiā€™s old partner.
Hmmā€¦Momo is 4 years younger than Yuki but 2 years younger than Banriā€¦
This episode has a real concert vibe to it, to the point where I got startled by how loud the yell was at one point. (Even if it is mostly stills.)
LOL, lookit Okazaki!
Apparently, if youā€™re a hako oshi, you like all the members of a group. Someone with a green light and a pink light likes both members of Re:vale.
LOL, Usagi for Asahi beer.
ā€¦I forgot Nagi is 19.
ā€¦Ooh, I think thatā€™s the kid from ZOOL. No wonder they needed a season 3!
Thatā€™s all. See you next time!
SLS 2
ā€œfine and upstanding personā€ ā€“ Thatā€™sā€¦hard to believe, Hayato.
I wonder how many bois Toboso designed for SLSā€¦?
ā€¦The episode title is actually ā€œBlankā€. Not ā€œBreakā€.
One of the guysā€™ shirts says moteki on it. Thatā€™s a period in oneā€™s life where one enjoys more romantic attention than usual, literally ā€œpopularity seasonā€.
The subs missed an I, so initially I knew Kiriyamaā€™s name as ā€œKiryamaā€.
There are meant to be 2 wings, rightā€¦?
ā€œHe who controls information controls everything, right?ā€ ā€“ For once, Iā€™m surprised Hayato is right (and not just in that smug way of his).
ā€œā€¦Iā€™m being treated like a manager.ā€ ā€“ But Hayato is a manager! (In a sense.)
The plait guy jumps to nicknames really fastā€¦also, why do I get the feeling Maeshima will lose the key?
I hate to say this Maeshima, but I side with your childhood friend (Kiriyama) here. As much as the anime wants me to back you, Iā€™m watching for everyone else at this point.
That blocky building looks pretty cool. I think Zel (Archi-Anime) would like it.
Sasugaiā€™s setup looks pretty cool, including his chair.
ā€¦hmm, Maeshimaā€™s like me in a sense. I learn best by copying others, but memory is my best asset. If I donā€™t regularly train the fundamentals, I suck at everything. That said, I donā€™t have an eidetic memory. Also, I didnā€™t quite figure out Ken = Ken(sei Maeshima) until I watched long enough to connect the dots.
LOL, Derryā€™s. (<- reminded of a word for ā€œbuttā€ <- derriere)
Well, the guyā€™s (Soutaā€¦?) shirt does say motekiā€¦
Kiriyama kinda looks like Jyuto (HypMic), come to think of itā€¦Right down to his angry streak (although Jyuto has a reputation to keep as a ā€œcool dudeā€, while Kiriyama is more of a Manza (Boueibu HK) and heā€™s more angry than he looks).
ā€¦This ED is nothing special.
ā€¦Hmm? Is that a small Terauchi and Maeshimaā€¦?
I think Iā€™m sold for now, but Iā€™m rooting for the other team, not Maeshimaā€™sā€¦not yet, anyways.
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popculturebuffet Ā· 4 years ago
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Reviewcaps: Mega Man: Fully Charged (BOOM!) #1
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After 5 long years the Blue Bomber returns to comics and to the Fully Charged Universe! Things get a lot more grim as Aki grapples with a new robot army under actual robots, his buried past, and the fact Mega Mini is still around for some reason. Cracked skulls and dead cells under the cut.Ā 
So iā€™m a huge mega man fan. I havenā€™t really talked about video games here because this is my first video game adaptation, but yeah, I love em and Capcomā€™s vast and awesome franchise of robots and humanoids in blue, and in one case red, is one of my faviorites. From children blowing up tons of robots from a balding man who dosenā€™t get the hint already, to the pacifist soldier forced to fight in a war against robot whales, buffalo, mammoths, and other bizzare robot animals, to his best friend who has amnesia for some reason fighting more robot animals because capcom ran out, to his human sucessors wearing him like a hat, to some guy who turns out to be a war machine I havenā€™t played yet because I havenā€™t gotten the chance to and is the only part of the franchise I havenā€™t, to another universe where heā€™s the ai versoin of a dead child whose now a teenager mentally, to that aiā€™s sucessor a shy child whose dad was kidnapped by a space monster and fuses reguarly with a much cooler space monster. What iā€™m saying Is I deeply love this franchise, this franchise is complicated iwth all the branches, and itā€™s also full of lovely nonsense.Ā 
So naturally with that many versions and a decades long history Mega Manā€™s had a healthy life in one of my other faviorite meddieums: Comics. Over in his home country of Japan Mega Manā€™s had tons of Manga: The biggest and one of the few to make it here is Mega Man Megamix, a bunch of stories that, after the first two adapted the first two games in their own rough way, took place after each of the various games, and is pretty damn good. Others off the top of my head include a Mega Man x adaptation where X dates a mermaid, a weird mega man zero adaptation, and a longrunning adaptation of Mega Man Battle Network, all ones I need to read.Ā 
Even Brazil had a Mega Man Manga... which I need to cover too.. less because itā€™s actually good or notable, and more because itā€™s BATSHIT INSANE, and you can read about it here. But the cliffs notes: Roll is an adult woman who goes around naked half hte time and is the most importnat character, X is master roshi with all the restraint and panty snatching that implies, and therā€™es a character that one writer tried to have kill everyone and take over the comic.. yes really. I go most of this .l from that page but itā€™s documented on various wikis that this did actually happen. Just.. why. All of it.Ā  Meanwhile in the US.. we didnā€™t get that many. No nintendo power adaptations despite being a huge franchise, no horrible malibu comics like street fighter got. There was one attempt by Dreamwave comics in the early 2000ā€²s a series that only lasted 5 issues, and had mega man trying to go to school and some intresting if loose takes ont he franchise.. but the company bottomed out due to horirble mismanagment soon after and mega man sat ont he shelf for a while until the early 2010ā€²s. At a time when Capcom had given up on the franchise, which has thankfully changed dramatically with the release of 11 and the various mega collections, they still gave the liscence to Archie comics, who, wanting some more of that sweet money they were getting off of sonic, gladly took the lisence and gave it toĀ  Sonic Scribe and easily the best one the comic had during itā€™s long run, Ian Flynn, who set about adapting mega man from day 1, while incorperating nods and call forwards to the various other versions of the blue bomber, and adding his own nice touches. What iā€™ve read is really damn good and itā€™s a shame it got cut off right before the adaptation for mega man 4. Iā€™m only being so brief as .. I intend to cover it like iā€™ve been saying. I love the character, Flynnā€™s comic was one of the best versions of him bar none, and I could use more comics content on here too. Itā€™s a win win, smiles all around.Ā  But yeah sadly Archie lost intrest in doing non-Archie stuff, with the Archie Horror Line proving a sucess and a reboot on the horizon. While I do LOVE Archie Comics, this edotiral decision still leaves a bad taste in my mouth and left fans without any mega man till 11 came out and any comics till this year, when the rights apparently lapsed and Boom! Studios, home of such great comics as the mighty morphing power rangers ongoing and JOhn Allisonā€™s wonderful Giant Days, swept it up. Hopefully Boom! will reprint the archie comics eventually, but until then they decided to do a softish reboot of another version of the franchise, another one that like Archie had been given a raw deal.. but unlike Archie had issues: Mega Man; Fully Charged
While most of you probably know this as a refrsher Mega Man: Fully Charged was a cartoon from a few years back, a CGI adatpation of the games in an attempt to get in on that market by Ben 10 and Generator Rex maestroā€™s Man of Action. Like the Dreamwave comics it followed Mega Man, now Aki LIght as he went to school, did school stuff, and also fought rouge robots after school with secret powers he unlocked before the pilot and were never elaborated on in show.Ā  The show kept Dr. Light, Mega Manā€™s creator and dad, and his dog Rush who while at first looking nothing like the games was later upgraded to resemble his game counterpart more from what iā€™ve heard and whatā€™s present in this comic. Replacing Megaā€™s sister Roll, as his real name was Rock because the Mega Man staff loved musical puns, was Suna.. whos basically the same character but human and with an entirely diffrent design.Ā  The show also, for whatever fucking reason, added... Mega Mini.. a tiny robot with a brooklyn accent who lived inside Aki, Mega Manā€™s regular name in this series which iā€™m fine with as while I do lik ehim going by Rock, I get thatā€™s not really a name. Mini also manages his powers, makes stupid jokes and makes me pray for death but death wonā€™t come. As you can tell I hate the little bugger from the handful of episodes iā€™ve watched. Rounding out our main heroes is Akiā€™s best friend Bert Wily, whose likely related to the canon wily and is your standard dorky best friend, but his roll as an inventor does come in handy since Mega hasnā€™t told his dad heā€™s a superhero, though itā€™s revealed in the end that he knows.. I did do my homework, even if iā€™ve only seen a handful of the series. More on that in a minute.Ā  Opposing Mega Man were various robots from the games, adapted with varying degrees of design, from the good.Ā 
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To the okay if a bit weird.Ā 
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To the how the fuck is this airman. This is airman
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Really good basic design. This is what fully charged calls airman,Ā 
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Why.. why not just make him Wind Man. He looks more like Wind Man.. why did ... I can bitch about this later when I cover the series, which, yes AGAIN I intend to. BUt seriously he has an awesome looking fan for a face. How do you screw that up.Ā 
Behind the robot masters was Sgt. Night. See in a nice twist, and one of the things I like about the series, the world of Fully Charaged already had the kind of robot on human war that would plauge the main mega man timeline for centuries in the backstory, with LIght and Night being vetrans. Night being a racisit moron, wanted to keep robots apart and set up a false flag operation do do so as Commander Night. He however.. wasnā€™t a compelling vilian and apparnetly dosenā€™t really get better, not having any depth to his operations or actoins and his basic plan turns out to be, thank you research, to wipe all robots minds to be subservient.. heā€™s just.. bland compared to wily who while not complex in his motives, he just wants to take over the world, still has style and in some cases,real thought to his plans. Sure the vast majority areĀ ā€œblame it on someone elseā€ but in a LOT of those cases, thereā€™s still thorught and effort put into who heā€™s blaming to take doubt away from him. IN universe at least.Ā  Helping night, is Namagem... yes Mega Man..spelled backwards and this series protoman, but hte character suprisingly DOES sound intresting... he just has one of the worst names in human history. Like my god, in god we trust why not just use proto man. the Character is basically proto man, with the interesting backstory of night kidnapping him, and apparently the series gets loads better once he arrives, so iā€™m not going to be too hard on the name, as the writers were likely stuck with it.Ā  Ā  But as iā€™ve made apparent.. I havenā€™t watched much of the series. I do want to watch it all and iā€™m aware the second half is much better, but when trying to binge watch it at a friends house I only got about halfway through season 1, and then just forgot to keep going. And the series does have good pieces: a compelling background of a brutal war, mysteries to unlock, and a steady supply of new villians via the games long history and the series own original, and honestly intresting sounding and looking, robot masters... but it stapled all this to aĀ ā€œcocky hero fights viliansā€ every week setup weā€™ve seen a million times and didnā€™t grab me, but the intresting worldbuildnig and original bits do have me wanting to give it another try so look forward to that.Ā  And with all the intresting bits i was truly invested to see a comic make more out of this part of the franchise,a nd was utterly excited, as it could be what the series couldā€™ve been with less hampering by the various parties involved, as fully charged felt like it had a lot of executive madates slapped on. So free of those and free to be whatever it wants with Joe Kelly advising, what has fully charged become? letā€™s take a look.Ā 
We Open 6 months after the series with the comic helpfully catching us via news broadcast.. and the art being moody with washed out colors the tone having done a 180. Seriously it is kind of weird for this unvierse to go from early generator rex, a dark backstory with a bizzarely cheery tone to full on Blade Runner or to put it in mega man terms, The Megas. Seriously the breif bit of silicon city we see , the constant rain as a mysteroius figure whose revealed at the end of the next page to be Namagem.. I expect that a pretty hologram in a raincoat is going to pop up next to him any moment... what I can pick which blade runner I want to refrence. Shoo.Ā 
Anyways a broadcast debate between a human reporter and her robot coanchor , ron roburgundy as I will call him, fills us in on exposition, while Mega Man himself narrators like this is a noir.. again iā€™m half expecting harrison ford to show up. Aki muses about how the city, HIS CITY, almost fell.. oh god is frank miller writing this? Are we going to get a middle schooler talking about how much he wants to make love to a city because no one wants that.Ā  Anyways, we get expostion, both for anyone who hadnā€™t watched the series to give us the cliff notes, and to also catch up returning fans on what they missed. I like it, despite not having watched fully charged to the end, or known exactly what happened until research, this fills it in nicely: At the end of season 1, as I explained earlier Night was arrested, and is thankfully not a part of it nor is his foghorn leghorn attempt at a southren accent. However the remaning Robot Masters are still rioting and a new army of them has started a legit revolution, vandalizing the good guild, which still has that name for some reason despite the tone shift, who are about as compitent as the name implies. Hereā€™s file footage of them fighting Pharoah Man.Ā 
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Anyways Dr. Light is going to negotiate peace and as I mentoned earlier nams is watching with a glare on his face. And yeah I .. I canā€™t keep calling him Namagem. That name is just bad and whoever came up with it is one of the biggest morons in marketing history as is whoever decided to force the poor creative team to use it. However while he is Protoman in ways.. it just dosenā€™t fit. The two were made together in this unvierse, maybe weā€™ll see as this comic fills in the blanks, and furthermore heā€™s a bit of protoman and bass.. and since protobass sounds stupid, and blues dosenā€™t work without the theme naming.. iā€™m going with Breakman, protomanā€™s disgusie from 3. With the heavy scaring, broken past and general state of him it just.. fits and HOPEFULLY the comic will give him a full on rename. If it does iā€™ll go with that but for now I just want to keep from slamming my head into a keyboard every time I have to type out NAMAGEM... excuse me.Ā 
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Thatā€™s better. Okay so moving on from my new headache, we cut to the desert where the good guild, which is somehow even worse than Breakmanā€™s actual name, are escorting light to a bunker in the desert, where the robots outside tell light to leave the good guild inside. Just as well heā€™d be better protected with a paper mache sword andaĀ  note telling them to go away.Ā 
Naturally, not long inside the robot masters leader forces light to bow and handcuffs him, before revealing himself.Ā 
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Skull Man. Who looks really badass in this thought, the skulls themed scrap throne, his regal posture and his speeches about how he feels that the only way things will be right, and settled is not by the fragile peace silicon city has but by humans beneath his rather sizable boots. And honestly.. he was a good choice for the main robot antagonist: Skull Manā€™s always had a cool look to him and most versions of him have been pretty cool, and the Megas gave him one hell of a theme song. If you havenā€™t heard of htem the Megas are an indie rock band that do reworkings of the various songs from mega man games, at the time of this recording a full album for 2, two full albums for 3, an ep for 1, and scattered other songs since the second 3 album, with plans to do their next full album on mega man x. Each of the stage themes for the robot masters is from the prosepctive of one of them and are really damn good and Iā€™d recommend thema nd skullmanā€™s.. really fits him here. take a listen.Ā 
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But yeah Skull Man feels like a good choice for a menacing revolutionary, as well as a former combat robot as he himself was apparently in the hard wars. He honestly reminds me a lot of more than meets the eye megatron in flashbacks.. just good stuff. But being in the wars, heā€™s naturally not too fond of repetant vetran light and plans to kill him as an example. Light however.. isnā€™t an idiot.. a good man who seeks to do his best, who came in good faith.. but just in case he put some sort of device under his skin and presses it, signaling his son to come save his ass. And thus he does come ...
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And one of skullmanā€™s minons mistakes him for a bomb.. which light clarifies iā€™ts a BLUE BOMBER. To skullmanā€™s credit his response is to just order them to go full throttle showing no panic as Mega Man makes his entrance.Ā 
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Light thanks him by.. asking what took him so long.. when his son, whose a middle schooler mind you, had to fight through a bunch of armed assholes to get in here most likely. Mini shows up to my annoyance.. though credit where itā€™s do his zinger of what took so longĀ ā€œsome birds, a plane, some guy in a capeā€ is actually.. really funny. I question why they kept him at ALL, but hey, at least heā€™s less grating and isnā€™t around long.. more on that in a minute.Ā 
A really well drawn action scene insues.. while the expressions vary for this comic, I will give the fight scnee, I will give the artist credit for having fluid motion and nice pops of color, most things are kind of blendy into the background other than major character but the color pops where it should.. not exactly my style but it works okay. In a nice change of his character though, Aki offers to spare the various robots there of a fight and possible death, as while he already attacked them it was in self defense.Ā  And while it is a 180 from the show.. itā€™s not only a welcome change as itā€™s closer to the games canon and a more intersting personality.. it also still works. Aki went through a LOT at the end of season 1: while he did win, he found out he had a brother, his dad knew who he was but was never honest with him about it and also likely knows where his power came from but hasnā€™t told him, and has had to deal with 6 months worth of rioting where heā€™s unsure what side heā€™s on, machine like he is or man like his family. Heā€™s trying to find the right ballance; be the hero his city needs.. but be the man he needs to be, one who will spare his enemies and wonā€™t fight unless he needs to, for the good fo everyone, His friends, his family, everyone in the city who deserves to sleep soundly. And heā€™s also starting to wonder, via narration of course, if heā€™s a hero.. or even a kid.. or a weapon> Which again while a bit of a shift from the series again makes sense: heā€™s a middle school aged boy who started this jsut fighting random assholes and some idiot racist who was transparently evil and had selfish goals.. now heā€™s fighting against a revolution who MIGHT have a point. While Silcion city seemd fine and equal.. there wer eplenty of idiot swilling to listen to night. As the real world has proven over the last few months, just because things have gotten better, dosenā€™t mean that things are 100% or that prejudice is just gone. Heā€™s a 12 year old asked to take a stand in a messy conflict that lead to war in the past with his father offering no answers and growing colder. While I thought his angst wasĀ  bit overblown on first reading the more I think about it the more it fits.Ā 
Anyways Mega makes short work of the skull squad after they refuse to back down, but while Mega Manā€™s ready to ghost.. Skull Manā€™s not done and drills into mega manā€™s head... and reveals something. Flashbacks.Ā 
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But yeah, Skull Manā€™s either implanted or restored some memory of Aki fighting in the hard wars.. right alongside dr. light.. with a drill because science. DR. Light then gets REALLY badass, breaking out of the robot restraining himā€™s grip before fucking UPERCUTTING Skull Man.. jesus christ, Dr.Light clearly traded his empathy for miraclo pills holy balls.Ā  Rush helps him escape and take Aki with him but skull manā€™s confident, he lost the battle but won Megaā€™s mind.Ā  On the way home Mega Man tells dr.light what he saw and isnā€™t sure if itā€™s the past the future or something else but Dr.Light assures him..
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Even though his eyes give away heā€™s clearly hiding something. Also I havenā€™t mentioned it yet but Dr.Light looks like santa in this sisue, red shirt, blue pants, big white beard. Just.. why though. Just put him in a suit or something. Also Mini crawls out of Megaā€™s head and passes out due to the memory restoration.. a nice way to write him out while still giving it weight since while the audience is presumibly cheering his long overdue demise, he is akiā€™s friend.. why I have no idea but he is.Ā  Back at the lighthouse, the lightā€™s home and home base, which is admitely a really good alternate name for light labs and a better one in my opinon. Light brushes off Suna, telling her to go to bed and avoiding telling her anything. Yeahhh.. while it could be the pressure of the situation I really dontā€™ like dr.lightā€™s characterization before. Fully Charged, outside of the whole secret identity thing which at least was expalined as Aki not knowing if his dad would let him continue as mega man if he knew, though it extended clearly past the point he was clearly supporting mega manā€™s actions so I dunno. But he was a compationste scientest, deeply ashamed of his past in the war and wanting to make peace, he was done really well and peformed well by gary chalk. Here? Heā€™s a dick who clearly did something terrible in the past and treats his kids like crap. Itā€™s okay to be suspcious of him given the flashback but heā€™s given us no reason to like him or want to hear his side eventually, and hopefully that changes.Ā 
Suna talks to Aki who tells her what happened and both side give out good arguments; Suna points out she reallyc anā€™t trust what some creepy asshole put in his head, as Skull Man could just want to brainwash him.. but Aki counters easily and quietly: Howā€™s he supposed to know whatā€™s real if his dad wonā€™t tell him anything? He took months to tell Aki he knew about his alter ego, and even before his id came out avoided talking about the hard war, which hasnā€™t changed. He vows to find out though, and Suna naturally is helpful, pointing out thereā€™s more people to ask and since she actually pays attention in school she knwos just who.. Dr. Wily. Yup heā€™s finally here. dun dun dun. We then close as Breakman watches and tells his brother he canā€™t stop whatā€™s started. And weā€™re out.Ā  Mega Final Thoughts: This was a decent issue, doing a fair job of bringing in new readers, and the art was decent and matched the tone.. which If elt was a bit too bleak at times. Better than say a Zack Snyder film at least, but still a bit too close to that form of edgelord for my case. That said it opens up some intresting mysteries and has me at least willing to give it another shot next month and was a solid opener, which while not having the best charcterzation for dr light, vastly improved Aki and Sunaā€™s while giving us a far more intersting villian in Skull Man. If this holds, weā€™ll see. But until then I plan to cover more mega man comics, as well as my continued weekly coverage of amphibia. Until I see you again, stay safe, wear a mask and later days
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sieben9 Ā· 6 years ago
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ā€œonly youā€/ā€œan untold storyā€ impressions
{Quick request to anyone reading: Iā€™m watching OUaT for the first time, and I want to avoid spoilers. So, if you want to discuss something spoilery, Iā€™d be grateful if you could start a new post for that. Thank you!}
Yes, both in one post. Mostly because I watched them in one go. And because theyā€™re really just one long story, anyways.
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please feel free to insert your own episode-relevant pun here
Before I get into anything else: NO MORE UNDERWORLD LIGHTING! Iā€™d almost forgotten how much that stupid red filter bothered me, until I didnā€™t have to stare at it while going through my screenshots. Dobby is freeeee~
Anyways, to my intense surprise, especially after the mess that was ā€œLast Ritesā€, I really liked this finale! Not as a season-finale, because it wasnā€™t, but it was a very solid, fun two-parter that feels like it should have aired halfway through the hiatus between seasons. (I have Opinionsā„¢ on the ā€œseason finale followed by a mostly-unrelated epilogue/setup for the next seasonā€ format, and not one of them is positive.) The setup for the next season did get me cautiously excited, though. Not quite the ā€œholy crap, I have to watch that!ā€ of the s4 finale, but still good.
Just for clarityā€™s sake: I will be referring to this two-parter as one episode, just for ease of conversation. I have not slept this weekend, and I refuse to juggle grammar.
OK, just so I have it out of my system:
Gay roadtrip!
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ā€œi know we spent the last ten episodes getting my boyfriend back from the dead, but there isnā€™t room for four in the bug, so bye!ā€ ā€” emma swan, apparently
My joyful little shipper heart aside, the Emma/Regina bits in this episode were just fantastic. From their little heart-to-heart about Regina missing Robin (and Emma actually properly empathising this time) to the oddly even more personal topic of Reginaā€™s constant battle with her ā€œevilā€ side, it was all that I might have wanted and more.
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The scene also left me with a weird feeling, because on the one hand, sure, itā€™s hard to constantly have to censor a part of yourself in order to be accepted in the company of the people you love (and who love you), but on the other handā€¦ if that part of yourself has ā€œkill it with fireā€ as the first response to any and all annoyances, maybe, just maybe, thatā€™s something that you should censor. That said, Regina, you should definitely make an appointment with Archie. That sounds like his cup of preferred beverage.
And now to maybe my least favourite part of the episode, so we get it over withā€¦ the actual ā€œmainā€ plot. Or the excuse plot, as I will call it, because, really, the whole ā€œHenry destroys magicā€ thing never really felt like a credible threat. It was more something to get everyone into motion so they could do the actually interesting stuff.
Donā€™t get me wrong, Henry snapping after losing yet another personā€”even by proxy through his motherā€”is perfectly understandable and realistic. That heā€™d turn his anger on magic as a whole isnā€™t exactly out of left field, either. Heā€™s done this before, after all. At least this time, he didnā€™t try to blow up the magic well. I like that well, recent drama notwithstanding.
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instead, we get the reverse-cornucopia of magic, apparently
But the plotline itself seemed far too rushed and low-energy to really grab my attention. And the resolution wasā€¦ ::sigh:: thereā€™s a dilemma for me, here, because I unabashedly love cheesy ā€œThe Power Is In Youā€ moments, and the scene at the well did hit that button. It just felt unearned, which is why I couldnā€™t really enjoy it. (Also, I donā€™t know what New Yorkers are like, but I know how people from around here would have reacted to a performance act like that. Ah, well. Never Mind All That.)
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the real magic was convincing so many people to throw away their spare change
I donā€™t even know what to say about the Dragon cameo. Nice to see heā€™s not dead, after all, but everything else in that scene... Nick, if youā€™d be so kind?
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OK, thatā€™s over with. Luke-warm excuse plot with some nice elements to it. Iā€™m not sure if Violet needed to be in this, but I guess Henry needed someone to talk to.
Just as a pick-me-up, I want to give a shoutout to one of the best-executed bits of comedy on this show so far:
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ā€œGuy on the third floor is involved in some kind of satanistic ritual and dumped his food on the floor. Pretty polite and tips well, though. 8/10ā€
Justā€¦ very good performance and comedic timing on both parts. I liked it.
Aaaaand over to the ā€œthey got sucked through a portal. Again.ā€ part of the episode.
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ah, zeppelins; the easiest shorthand for ā€œalternate universeā€ there ever was
I do kind of like the sound of the Land of Untold Stories and I really, really hope this gets a little more fleshed out in the coming season. How do people end up there when theyā€™re not sucked through Yet Another Portal Accident? Is this what happens to all stories that havenā€™t been written down by an Author, yet? Is Harry Potter in there somewhere?
So many questions, so little screentimeā€¦ Iā€™m not sure if I would have liked 8 episodes of stumbling around in this new world, but I would have liked to find out if I did. ā€¦listen, it made sense in my head.
This plotline included what is probably my biggest complaint about the writing this episode: Snow selling out Belle. Justā€¦ with little to no hesitation. Which is why blaming the writing and not her. If this was supposed to be some kind of big, dramatic moral dilemma, I expect weā€™d have seen at least some semblance of guilt on her part. Instead, she just told this clearly violent individual about the defenceless, sleeping-cursed pregnant woman within nanoseconds of him threatening Hook. I know Snowā€™s characterisation has been a bit inconsistent recently, but come on. This isnā€™t her, and I am disappointed that the show even tried to sell this to me.
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And I think I would have believed the version where Snow just blurts out the information about Belle and later feels awful, because holy crap, how could she? (Thereā€™sā€¦ some precedent for poor judgment on Snowā€™s part when it comes to sharing information, after all.) But this wasnā€™t even a Thing for her. I justā€¦ ::frustrated noises:: why, show?
So, yeah, the Bad Guy kidnaps Belle. Well done, there. By the way, wasnā€™t it incredibly difficult at some point to make portals to the Land Without Magic? I get why portalling to Storybrooke would be easierā€”itā€™s got magic, after all. But hotel room 318, New York? I guess you could argue that the crystal brought the magic along, but still.
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i giggled at this bit, iā€™m afraid. fellow cat owners will understand.
So, Iā€™m not sure what the ā€œintendedā€ reading here is, but I find it interesting that Rumple seems to understand himself so much less than Hyde apparently does (prediction: they totally know each other; mostly because Rumple knows everyoneā€”guy gets aroundā€¦) So he went to protect the magic crystal, because what else would the thundering teleport-vortex of doom have come to steal? As has been noted before, Rumple doesnā€™t really go after people through their loved ones, with one very recent exception, and he had to ask his dad for help to come up with that one. The idea that someone would kidnap Belle to get whatever the hell they want from him, doesnā€™t seem to occur, even though it has happened multiple times, already. Justā€¦ maybe you should have kept that box in your coat pocket, my friend.
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Yeahā€¦ this is sure going to be fun, I can already tell. What does Hyde want with Storybrooke, anyway? Itā€™s been established that it has one of the least-fun-to-rule populations, and everyone and their dog has magic. Seems like a bad pick, overall.
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You do you, though.
And from Jekyll and Hyde, we finally come to thisā€¦
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that still looks so very unpleasant.
Iā€™mā€¦ ambivalent about the personality split, and I really want to wait and see how it turns out. Clearly, this is a good way to have the Evil Queen around again without also having to sacrifice Reginaā€™s redemption arc, which Iā€™m grateful for, believe me. Itā€™s bad enough to have one of my faves on a redemption-yoyoā€”no need to add a second one.
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is it bad that i missed her?
OK, look Iā€™ve seen this Star Trek episode. Ten bucks that it turns out the Evil Queen isnā€™t ā€œjustā€ Reginaā€™s evil side, she also got many of her more forceful, but overall positive character traits, and both are less without the other, leading to them re-fusing or something. (Yes, wrong fandom. So sue me.)
ā€¦obviously, Iā€™m willing to be surprised, but I like this version a lot more than the idea that you can just siphon out the ā€œevilā€ parts of yourself. (Even Hyde wasnā€™t really Jekyllā€™s ā€œevilā€ sideā€”just the collection of his socially unacceptable traits made flesh. I only read an abridged version of that book, and that a while ago, but Jekyll still seemed like a bit of an ass to me.)
While weā€™re here: shoutout to Snow and her flask of cocoa-fortifier. That got a surprised (and amused) laugh out of me.
Also, do we want to talk about whether or not itā€™s healthy to be so at odds with a part of yourself that you think killing it is the best way to deal with it orā€¦? ā€˜cause, honestly, I would like to talk about that. Seems like Regina is a lot less OK than sheā€™d like others and herself to thinkā€¦
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yeah, thatā€™s not a ā€œfinally iā€™m free!ā€ face
So, cautiously optimistic about s6 so far. The villains definitely seem interesting, and this episode was a good reminder of what I liked about the character dynamic in the first place.
An addendum about 5B:
Goddamn, but this season dragged. There seems to be simultaneously too much plot for too little time and not enough plot to fill ten episodes. This is probably based in my personal biases for and against certain characters (and the fact that I was insanely busy and couldnā€™t watch the season all in one go), butā€¦ yeah, Iā€™m kind of relieved itā€™s over, to be honest.
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redvelvetreel Ā· 6 years ago
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Red Velvet Reel 6.1: Cele-BRAT-ion!
Ā  Ā  Ā  Ā  Ā  Ā  Ā  Ā  Ā  Ā  Ā Ā [Fic Directory]
Pairing: [Married] Spicyhoney (Underfell Papyrus x Underswap Papyrus)
Summary: Eight skeletons walking into a bar seems like the perfect setup for a joke. Too bad the punchline seems to have been Stretch's expectations of a fun little get-together with friends.But hey, what's a few baited taunts, stupid posturing, escalatory challenges, heated arguments, well-meaning scolding, clever puns, veiled threats, unnecessary bets, and borderline fights between cross-dimensional clones?
Characters: Edge (Underfell Papyrus) & Stretch (Underswap Papyrus) & Red (Underfell Sans) & Blue (Underswap Sans) & Classic (Undertale Papyrus) & Comic (Undertale Sans) & Slim/Puppy (Swapfell Papyrus) & Black (Swapfell Sans) & some poor random waitress lol.Ā 
Contains: Mpreg/Skelepreg! Meeting up in a (sports) bar! Everyone talks a lot and never shuts up! (A little) Stupid Fellverse posturing and antagonism!Ā Lots of headcanons! A little betting and drinking?
Rating: Teen and up! (I guess?)
Note: Ā Hah, a labor of love that Iā€™m still not satisfied with but! Enjoy!
Underswap Papyrus ā€“ Stretch Ā  Ā  Ā  Ā  Ā  Ā  Underswap Sans ā€“ Ā Blue Underfell Paprus ā€“ Edge Ā  Ā  Ā  Ā  Ā  Ā  Ā  Ā  Ā  Ā  Underfell Sans ā€“ Red Swapfell Papyrus ā€“ Slim/Puppy Ā  Ā  Ā  Ā  Ā Swapfell Sans ā€“ Black Undertale Papyrus ā€“ Classic Ā  Ā  Ā  Ā  Ā  Ā  Ā Undertale Sans ā€“ Comic
Stretch squinted into dimly lit bar, past the dancers that seemed to be having an increasingly good time, ā€œYeah, I donā€™t see them-ā€œ
ā€œItā€™s been 30 minutes,ā€ Edge sounded completely nonplussed, scanning the drink menu almost languidly, ā€œUnless the Tale ā€˜verses and your brother are such...ā€ He paused, tilting his head with a pensive hum, ā€œWeightless drinkers?ā€
ā€œLightweights, Babe,ā€ Stretch corrected automatically, popping himself into his tiptoes as if that would help him spot their friends in the crush of monsters and people. Unsurprisingly, it didnā€™t help much. Ā ā€œAnd weā€™re late because you didnā€™t even start getting ready until 7, so I wouldnā€™t go around casting stones-ā€œ
ā€œMhm,ā€ Edge flipped the drink menu over with a distracted hum, tapping at something with his claw, ā€œThey have Honey Mead here.ā€
ā€œAwesome.ā€ Stretch sighed again, using his hands to shade his sockets, ā€œLike, Seriously, I know you like to look good- and you always do- but I just donā€™t get why you waited until the last minute. What, the ~*Captain of the Royal Guard*~ needs to be ~*fashionably late*~ to everything?ā€
ā€œItā€™s an easy way to make a memorable entrance and an impression,ā€ Edge sniffed primly, gesturing at the area behind his husband with an incline of his head, ā€œAnd all attention is on you- sometimes before you even realize it.ā€
Stretch finally caught sight of Blue, who was now standing up and waving emphatically from a corner booth. Along with several other familiar faces who were starting to wave too.
ā€œPapy, over here! I mean, Stretch! Edge!ā€
Stretch grabbed Edge by the hand before he could look too smug, pulling him along to the end of the table quickly, ā€œGood evening, folks, youā€™re looking snug as can be.ā€
ā€œJust so! They was thinkinā€™ ya wasnā€™t gonna show!ā€ Red held his tankard up in greeting, sloshing some of the contents on the table right next to Classic. ā€œI real know my ƑaƱo eh?! Shoulda bet on it, heh!ā€
ā€œYes, yes, you were right. Iā€™ll just-ā€œ Classic took Blueā€™s napkin, daintily dabbing at the spot with a long suffering expression. That definitely wasnā€™t the first (and certainly not the last) time that happened. Stretch didnā€™t envy him, being sandwiched between Red and Blue.
ā€œRed-ā€œ Edge started mildly, only to be cut off by a dazzling smile aimed directly at him. Classic waved his arms as though trying to convey it was no problem, but looking more like he was desperately cutting the air, vibrating in his seat as his smile stretched even wider, ā€œItā€™s fine! This is a negativity free zone! Because!! You! Or you! Neither of you can afford to be stressed whilLE YOUā€™RE-ā€œ
Before Stretch even felt his hand go empty, Edge was in the booth- knee in between Slimā€™s legs, half-draped over Blue, and both hands covering Classicā€™s mouth.
ā€œHey-!ā€ Blue started to complain, wriggling away until he met Stretchā€™s pleading expression, settling down wordlessly, but very sulkily.
ā€œYour enthusiasm and excitement are noted and appreciated,ā€ Edge sounded amused, even as he rotated his hands so his fingers were clamping the excited skeletonā€™s mouth shut, ā€œBut this is privileged information. Your discretion is mandatory!ā€
Eyes still bulging in surprise, Classic nodded quickly, looking a little worried.
Stretch cleared his throat, giving his counterpart a thumbs up with a wink, ā€œWe knew we could count on Ambassador Papyrus.ā€
That did it. Classic nodded emphatically, eyes sparkling with excitement (or tears?) as he quickly broke Edgeā€™s hold to clasp his hands passionately.
ā€œI understand! You can count on me!ā€ Classic tried his best to whisper, but it was still loud enough the table behind them collectively winced and hunched into themselves. ā€œI am a master at keeping secrets, state or otherwise! But! Congratulations! To both of you!ā€
ā€œThanks man,ā€ Stretch made a little heart with his hands, ā€œClassic, youā€™re a class act.ā€
ā€œIā€™m not sure how I feel about that sentence,ā€ the other skeleton narrowed his eyes suspiciously with a frown, before brightening immediately, ā€œBut youā€™re welcome!ā€
Edge managed to take his hands back at that point, straightening his spine and looking down at Slim primly, ā€œPuppy.ā€
If Slim was at all disturbed at having Edge towering over him, practically sitting in his lap, he gave no outward indication. He simply ducked his head in greeting while still being almost completely engrossed on the baseball game playing over the bar.
ā€œOh, sit, sit!ā€ Classic firmly (but gently) yanked Edge down into the new space between Slim and Blue, motioning Stretch to do the same, ā€œBoth of you! Being on your feet for too long isnā€™t healthy for, um, the um-ā€œ
ā€œThe VIP.... or VIB, as it were,ā€ Comic offered with a wink, sliding closer to Black and patting the spot next to him with a lazy smile, ā€œWeā€™re all sorta family here, so make yourself at home, Big guy.ā€
Stretch grinned, sidling up next to Comic and slinging an arm over his shoulders, ā€œThanks, lilā€™ guy, youā€™re a great berson.ā€
Comic put his arm around Stretchā€™s back with a chuckle, fingertips just barely visible over the fabric, ā€œBlease, pro, youā€™re gonna make me plush.ā€
ā€œUghhhh.ā€ Black finally broke his silence with a sneer, the corners of his mouth twitching in annoyance even as he stubbornly refused to acknowledge anyone. Stretch idly wondered if those two were really that passionate about baseball, or if it was just a convenient distraction. Blackā€™s posture was stiff and straight, while Slim was steadily curling on himself, like they just felt incredibly out of place and uncomfortable. Welp, time to make things more inclusionary then.
ā€œOk!ā€ Stretch rubbed his hands together, ā€œNow that weā€™re all here, letā€™s open this lilā€™ shindig properly! You ready, Babe?ā€
Stretch received that incredulous look Edge had been perfecting over the course of their relationship, rolling his eyes with unnecessary emphasis of how put upon he was... before doing exactly as he was asked. Edge drummed on the table, steadfastly avoiding eye contact with everyone else, as Stretch grinned and swept his arms out dramatically.
ā€œFriends, family, and emotionally- repressed multidimensional assholes who arenā€™t sure why theyā€™re here-ā€œ Black smiled at that, putting all of his sharp teeth on display. It was deeply unsettling. ā€œIt is my pleasure and honor to officially announce the newest addition to our little family-ā€œ
Edge stopped drumming on Stretchā€™s cue, expression carefully blank but with that slight twitch to his mouth that meant he was trying very hard not to smile. ā€œPancake! Theyā€™ll be having their debut bash in February, probably, so keep your sockets out for the deets. Thanks for coming to celebrate with us, it means a skeleton.ā€
Classic gasped loudly, eyes bulging out of wide sockets, ā€œPancake?! Like the food?! Are- are you really-ā€œ He withered when Edge turned his head to glare at him directly, ā€œUm! Thatā€™s really creative! And very, very cute! I mean that, honestly! What, uh, what inspired you both to call your child Pancake?!ā€
ā€œItā€™s a nickname,ā€ Blue answered for them with a slight toss of his head, a note of irritation in his tone, ā€œAnd I agree! My brother is a very creative and cute monster himself, so of course his child is going to have the most adorable and creative nickname, too!ā€ Just as quickly, his voice lost that edge and he was all smiles again, dreamy stars in his eye sockets, ā€œMy little nibling is going to be the best monster ever! Have the best name ever! Weā€™re gonna have the best time together!ā€
Blue looked down at the table with furrowed browbones, smile becoming less sure as he turned towards his brother-in-law, ā€œThatā€™s ok, right, Edge?ā€
To his credit, Edge was able to force down his surprise before it became too obvious, giving Blue a decisive nod. ā€œOf course,ā€ his voice had the usual bravado and self-assurance, but Stretch could hear the uncertainty in the undertone, ā€œIn fact, Iā€™ll be counting on you to keep Red from getting them into unreasonable mischief. ā€
ā€œJust the regular, reasonable kind of mischief, then?ā€ Blue asked wryly, but his smile was weak, clearly disappointed with the answer.
ā€œIf they take after me,ā€ Edge puffed out his chest proudly, slipping into his more boisterous persona as he gestured with his hand dramatically. He was obviously uncomfortable, too, unable to interpret Blueā€™s new mood, ā€œThat will be inevitable!ā€
It was awkward and stilted, and Stretch found them both glancing in his direction for guidance, but they were trying. His husband and brother were trying very hard to actively get along, after months of bare minimum pleasantries and steadfastly avoiding each other. Stretch couldnā€™t help tearing up, wiping at the edge of his sockets with a sniffle.
ā€œThat confirms that then,ā€ Black sniffed dismissively, resting his chin on his palms as he leaned against the table, ā€œBut itā€™s not much of a victory if you have to share it.ā€
ā€œHuh?ā€ Stretch dabbed at his eyes with the handkerchief Blue had passed him, distracted by the feel of Edgeā€™s boot brushing along his femur. ā€œWhat?ā€
ā€œYa sure, Lilā€™ Tyrant?!ā€ Red was positively giddy, ā€œAinā€™t no one sure whoā€™s knocked up!ā€ He flapped his hands emphatically, clearly several drinks into the evening, ā€œDonā€™t say nothinā€™ yet, let ā€˜em stew!ā€
ā€œThatā€™s not entirely true,ā€ Blue chimed in from the corner, playing with his bendy straw and pointing it at himself, ā€œSome monsters are sure...ā€
Red put a hand on Classicā€™s chest just to push him back far enough to pointedly glare at Blue. Classic smoothed the front of his shirt wordlessly, while Red leaned on the table conspiratorially, ā€œThereā€™s a bettinā€™ pool.ā€
Edge smirked in a way that made Stretch uneasy, resting his chin on his hand, ā€œOh? Well, in that case~ā€
He called the waitress over, ā€œTwo honey meads, some water, and a refill for the table. Weā€™re going to need it.ā€
ā€œYou- or you?! -canā€™t drink!ā€ Classic looked between them, scandalized, then at Comic for confirmation. Comic nodded sagely. ā€œYes, see?! Alcohol isnā€™t as bad for pregnant monsters as other things, but itā€™s still not good for you! It impairs your concentration, so your magic goes all funny! Yes, fine, thereā€™s debate about its impact on raw, unused magic- but why take the chance if youā€™re loading a baby?!ā€
The waitress came back with a tray of drinks and started putting them on the table, hesitating when Blue and Classic glared at the mead. ā€œThank you,ā€ Edge told her pleasantly, completely ignoring them and taking both himself.
He slid one mug towards Stretch, who took it with palpable unease and hesitation, flinching when Blue smacked his hands down on the table. ā€œPapy, say something! I donā€™t know what game theyā€™re trying to play, but you shouldnā€™t just condone it, especially because I donā€™t think you know either! Donā€™t just-ā€œ
ā€œShh!ā€ Red crawled into Classicā€™s lap, putting his hands over Blueā€™s mouth with a scowl, ā€œPipe down, Baby Blue- ainā€™t nothinā€™ goinā€™ to happen to the squirt. Wait ā€˜n listen, ya goddamn goofs-ā€œ He turned to give Classic a stern look too, ā€œGot lotsa shitty stuff in this family, but idiocy ainā€™t one of ā€˜em.ā€
Although Edge managed to keep himself from reacting to the backhanded compliment, his smile was less threatening and more genuine as he ran a claw along the circuit of the mug. ā€œIā€™m raising the stakes- another drink of equal or greater value to the pool. Iā€™ll take your bet and the reasoning behind it as suitable collateral.ā€
[Part 1 - Here! ] [Part 2 ] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6]
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the-cryptographer Ā· 8 years ago
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FEBRUARY MARCH CHALLENGE!!!
Yay! I did the thing! Below the cut you can find some silly answers and silly ms paint artwork~ Itā€™s been forever since Iā€™ve drawn and even more forever since Iā€™ve drawn anime, so everything sucks but be kind, okay~
1. Favourite Character
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This guy!!! I remember liking him immediately when I first watched in gradeschool, so heā€™s a longtime fave. I wish I remembered the basis for my affinity all those years ago, but itā€™s been lost to the tides of time. Now I kind of think about how his character works on two levels for me:
(1) On a kind of surface level, heā€™s just really fun to watch. His voice and his dialogue. The comedic expressions. The stupid accent in the dub. Heā€™s temperamental and hammy. And, unlike a lot of the other characters, when heā€™s upset or unhappy, heā€™s generally driven towards being more active rather than being more passive - so instead of introspective scenes where heā€™s retreating into himself, you get all these scenes where he goes out and starts doing really dumb shit. Heā€™s one of the few characters I pretty much universally enjoy watching for the theatrical value.
(2) And on a kind of deeper level, I just find him really inspirational. Heā€™s far from a flawless character - there are so many ways he acts recklessly and makes mistakes, so many ways he can be grating and even cruel, and so many things heā€™s really not that good at. But heā€™s just so resilient and determined and such an aggressively good friend to Yuugi. I think especially with all the darker subtext in the manga, you can see the really bad places heā€™s come from, and how heā€™s been met with so much failure along the way - but heā€™s made it so far~ I wish we could all fall and get back on our feet as easily as Jounouchi.
2. Runner Up Character
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Put-upon Egyptian Cult Leader!! Who I donā€™t believe I talk about enough.
Heā€™s an exciting villain, imo!! He puts Yuugi & co in a lot of tight spots, and in a lot of ways didnā€™t seem to leave the story on the same page as them, but he comes through his arc just devastatingly sympathetic in my mind. I think itā€™s easy to sympathise with the way heā€™s at war with himself and his lot in life.
Thereā€™s kind of a lot of exciting attributes collected around him too - mind control and alternate personalities, Tomb Keeper politics and Rare Hunter politics, an uneasy partnership with the big bad of the series, and a really poorly established relationship with his brother Rishid that switches between master-subordinate, patient-caretaker, and older-and-younger siblings.
On a personal level though, I appreciate the way heā€™s willful and clever and lazy and manipulative and NEVER STOPS LYING. I appreciate how much he fights and loses hope and is renewed in his fight against his more insane tendencies. I appreciate that he doesnā€™t seem to develop genuine fondness for the protags so much as come to realise theyā€™re his way out of this mess and pragmatically follow through on it. And I appreciate how heā€™s revealed to be fiercely caring towards his siblings in spite of all faults. And it feels so real and tender and angry and human, I even temporarily forget how awful heā€™s been mere hours before.
Admittedly, I donā€™t exactly have a clear picture of his fanon existence and what Iā€™d like from it. Especially since Iā€™m not super into the thiefship scene. Iā€™d kind of like to read more about him though. Especially about him and his siblings, or him and Ryou, or him and Yuugi.
3. Favourite Protagonist
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Cutie baby~
I guess... Yuugi and I... are maybe... kind of... alike? Iā€™m like a tall, shitty version of him, lmao.
He is a passive pacifist sweetheart with too much self-doubt in his heart and too much porn under his mattress. I like how he grows into himself in the series and learns to be more assertive - but remains the calm, friendly, and trusting person he always was.
4. Favourite Villain
I guess this would be Malik again? Who even counts as a villain in ygo? All of them get redeemed.
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Iā€™m just gonna say Kaiba. Kaibaā€™s tried to kill enough of the protags to be a villain, lol. Heā€™s weaseled his way into a central role in the series tho~ Mr. Popular~
I think Iā€™ve talked quite a bit about why I like Kaiba - but heā€™s just so damaged and so weak and so strong. He builds death theme parks and shuts down weapons production. Compared to us average humans, heā€™s more capable of doing good and more capable of doing evil both. Also I project onto him like a mofo.
5. Favourite Yami
I guess this would also be Malik again - Malikā€™s disturbing split personality.
Naw, tho~ My new favourite Yami is Yami!Isis. All bow down to the cold, all-seeing Priestess.
6. Favourite Series
Season Zero. Or idk, I still have to watch Season Zero but I love manga Season Zero so I assume. Um, the manga? Or am I just supposed to say DM? I still havenā€™t gotten to watching GX at length but I will.
7. Favourite Arc
Season Zero
A different game every week. Mundane school life in Japan spiced up with pyromania. lots of character focus. Thug life. But I already kind of answered this for the last question.
Maybe Duellist Kingdom?
I like the duels in DK a lot - I know they didnā€™t follow the rules, but theyā€™re kind of snappy and satisfying. And it has a lot of my favourite Seto moments and Mai moments. And I like the straightforwardness in the arcā€™s setup, the goals of the characters, and how it built up to the finals. I feel like thereā€™s not a dull moment building up to the confrontation with Pegasus from the meeting with Seto before the castle - the way Atem lost to Seto, and then Seto getting his soul pilfered, and Tristan and the others climbing around the castle, and the Atem-Mai and Jou-Keith duels were some of the better ones in the series.
But my cracky id loves DOMA?
Itā€™s stupid and I know itā€™s stupid. But the silly villains. REAL MONSTERS. Mai having PTSD complications. Roadtrip in the USA. All the polarshipping. stfu - I can like DOMA if I want to like DOMA.
8+9. Favourite Quote & Runner Up Quote
I am so bad at remembering quotes. I mean, you canā€™t beat the Yuujou pun, I guess.
I suppose I like the speech Anzu gave Kaiba during DK, about the chip of life, and how Yuugi saved him. I donā€™t like Anzuā€™s speech in the dub, but for some reason Kaiba snapping back at her What do you have? with ā€˜I have all that I need!ā€™ has really stuck with me - I have no idea why(??) But I even used that line in a fic.
I also like when Jounouchi goes on the date with Fake-Virtual-World!Mai. ā€œAnywhereā€™s fine, so long as itā€™s with you.ā€ Aww~
Iā€™m not sure any of these are my favourite favourite, but I liked them all.
10. Funniest Moment of the Series
When Kaiba dropped a key into the ocean and somehow Jounouchi didnā€™t die, lmao
Okay, for reals tho, Iā€™m not sure. But it was funny when Jounouchi almost fell off the balcony in Duellist Kingdom. And the potato song. And when Jounouchi called Kaiba on the phone and Otogi did the Kaiba imitation during DOMA. And when Kaiba and Mai got into a street race - NEVER FORGET!
11. Scariest Moment of the Series
OMG. When Bakura as Honda confronted Yuugi about giving up his wish, and Yuugi tearfully admits his wish was to have friends. Raw. Terrifying. I died.
Okay, again for reals. I guess thatā€™s my admission that the series never managed to make me really fear for the characters. There are times when I scare myself thinking about how empty Kaiba must feel at times though.
12. Favourite Moment Overall
*plays Mystical Refpanel* ā€œJounouchi-kunā€¦ Daisuki da.ā€
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13. Runner Up Moment
Mai giving Jounouchi the entry card during DK.
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Maiā€™s so elegant. But, geez, this must have taken a lot out of her. She just lost her own duel - was just crying herself - has never really had friends before by her own admission. She does this with such seeming ease but sheā€™s really putting herself out on a line here - and Jounouchi probably even doesnā€™t understand that - but he does all the right things anyhow <3
Yes all my favourite moments are people being nice to Jounouchi - shut up!
Other runner up moments are Rishidā€™s speech to Malik at the end of Battle City. Kaiba sacrificing Obelisk to summon the Blue Eyes during his duel with Isis. And I also like the very end of Duellist Kindgom and how Mai gets last minute invited on the helicopter ride. Which leads nicely into the next question.
14. Favourite Romantic Ship
Mai/Jounouchi/Kaiba.
Mai and Jounouchi are my favourite proto-romance in the series. Jounouchi and Kaiba are my favourite duo in the series for interesting and revealing character moments. All together they make the greatest ship of bad decisions ever invented.
15. Favourite Platonic Ship
There arenā€™t many things I only ship platonically. And for things I ship romantically and platonically ā€“ there are a ton. But shout-out goes to MaiKai for being the platonic bros of my OTP. I told you - NEVER FORGET that time they got into a street race.
I feel like thereā€™s a lot to work with here though. High society. Introversion and the desire for isolation. Rigidity vs flexibility. Maturity and competence vs pettiness and complete and utter stupidity. Mai beta testing Legendary Heroes. Mai giving Kaiba ā€˜grown-upā€™ advice. Learning to trust. They will be drinking buddies. They must become drinking buddies.
16. Runner Up Ship
Honda & Otogi & Serenity.
I like them taking the train together in the manga, but itā€™s mostly an anime ship. I enjoy watching Otogi and Honda fighting each other for Serenityā€™s attention and getting completely wrapped up in each other in the process, lol. Thereā€™s a level of transparency to it that I find amusing. And itā€™s sweet the way they all move in to cover each othersā€™ backs during the duel with Oota. They have their missteps, but it makes things feel rewarding when they come through for each other in the end. And, lol, this moment-
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In the context of a romantic ship, Hondaā€™s so romantically idealistic and Serenityā€™s so naively unindulgent - theyā€™re both very stubborn in their own way, but I feel like Otogi is capable of bringing in the realism to mediate that situation. I think my headcanons are heavily influenced by this writerā€™s work. Even outside of a romantic context though, I want them to be an adventurous trio of friends, lol. I hope they all grow up and manage it in the future~
17. Another Runner Up Ship
Second runner up could be so many things, but this stands out as something I want to see more of - and also have a drawing:
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Mai & Vivian.
Okay. But seriously. I want Great Wall of China fataleshipping adventures. I want them to be super catty friends. Please give me more of Mai postcanon female friends and femslash.
18. Favourite Monster
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Dark Necrofear!
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I talked about most of the cards in this post, but Iā€™ll refresh your memory. (I havenā€™t made it far in Reshef, but Duel Links has left me feeling more or less the same regarding favourite cards.)
19. Runner Up Monster
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REMEMBER WHEN KISARA WAS A CARD~
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AU where Kisara is the Happy Queen of the Duel Monsters parallel universe, and Kaibaman is her dimension hopping servant.
20. Favourite Spell
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One of these two.
21. Favourite Trap
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Hahaha. Fuck Kaiba >:(
22. Design Your Own Character
No. I drew Asuka from GX instead.
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23. Design Your Own Monster
Iā€™ll do it one of these days~ But not today~
24. Favourite DSoD Moment
Idk, when Yuugi told Kaiba off? When Otogi and his dad showed up? When Jounouchi wrote his initials on his Duel Disk? When Honda and Yuugi rode a motorcycle and went to save Jounouchi? When Jounouchi and Honda rode a bike to school?
WHEN KAIBA WATCHED YUUGI PUT TOGETHER THE LAST PIECES OF THE PUZZLE AND HIS FAAAAACE D:
25. Favourite New Character in DSoD
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MANI! SO CUTE! SO SWEET! SO CRAZY WHEN HE PUTS ON THE RING!
But Shadi also gets points here for being different enough that I can imagine him as a new character.
26. Least Favourite New Character
Sera.
27. DSoD Could Have Done _____ Better
Lots of stuff but Iā€™m not in the mood rn. I liked the film overall.
28. Favourite New Card From DSoD
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REMEMBER WHEN MAHAAD WAS A CARD~
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OMG! Thatā€™s the end of the meme! It took forever, right? But thank you if you read all this way <3
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theinsanecrayonbox Ā· 8 years ago
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Chloe Rules/Tardy Sauce
both of these are banked reviews, also talk about their correct matching stories a little too
Chloe Rules:
Ā Kevin! But wait Kev, you live with the teacher, why didnā€™t your homework get done? (and this also blows my theory about them skipping Kevin episodes since heā€™s not been introduced yet...or does it...)
Ā Also Tim, the excuse ā€œmy dog ate my homeworkā€ would work for you since you had a dogā€¦and why would Crocker be surprised you had a talking dog? Oh wait right, I forgot, weā€™ve retconned all of s9, my bad!
Ā Plus ā€œstupidā€ upside down would not be ā€œdiputsā€, thatā€™s backwards. Itā€™d resemble something closer to ā€œpidnfsā€ or ā€œpidnlsā€ probably
Ā And no, Chloe did not do her homework right, you need first AND last name ion things. For shame missy!
Ā ā€œsomebody put a mirror under his nose to make sure heā€™s still breathingā€ wow, that went a tad dark. But I love Kevin more knowing what a slacker he is lol
Ā Smoking in the hallā€¦oh wow. Are you sure these kids are still 10/11 there folks? That was funny because itā€™s a meat smoker, but we all know what they meant. Iā€™m just, wow. I never wouldā€™ve pegged Tim for a smoker; Francis totally, but not Tim *makes notes of that for later use*
Ā Heehee the term ā€œgrifterā€ being associated with Timmy, since you know, Inkblot!Timmy is based on Grifter. Heehee, made me giggle
Ā Also loving RoboCop!Chloe. still, this totally feels like the JN episode where Jimmy became hall monitor, but then again, this is a common narrative trope isnā€™t it, so not that surprising.
Ā ā€œWell I canā€™t change who I am, because that would involve tryingā€ Iā€™m just gonna leave that line there for you because thereā€™s so much to it ^^;;;
Ā and Chloe has gone mad with power hahahahahaha
Ā why do you keep saying the hedgehogā€™s name? is that a reference to something specific?
Ā Chloe has a gum sniffing dogā€¦iā€¦hmā€¦you just had to ruin one of my favorite headcanons that Chloe is scared of dogs, didnā€™t youā€¦hmā€¦you know, Iā€™m keeping it, gag aside, this is a highly trained professional dog, so maybe she can deal with this one but others
Ā But you know, at the same time, ā€œgum sniffing dogā€ is very obviously ā€œgun sniffing dogā€, and the random locker searchingā€¦this whole scenario is very dark, realistic and played off as a laugh, but still andā€¦yeahā€¦ plus what about the kid in the locker ā€œa bully stuffed me in here a week agoā€ whatā€™s her response to that? ā€œgo tell that to the principalā€. No actions against the bully for putting him there, but instead actions against the kid for not getting himself out and to class. Thatā€™s victim blaming. And thatā€™s something Chloe wouldnā€™t do; I mean, yes sheā€™s drunk on powerā€¦but still. This whole scene is dealing with some very heavy real life issues and if youā€™re not paying attention, youā€™ll miss them for the laughable parody theyā€™re giving.
Ā ā€œDad what are you doing here?!ā€ thatā€™s what we always ask Timmy when pointless Dad is thrown at us. But at least itā€™s a small call back to eth fact that Timmyā€™s Dad went to Dimmsdale Elementary too
Ā Dad hit the nail on the head about angry mobsā€¦just another tick in the dark column (though he has been the subject of and part of several so that does make some sense)
Ā Aww Timmy said he cares about herā€¦true in the next line he sorta said he was more worried about his own safety but still.
Ā And of course, school bell rings, and bam! No more conflict.
Ā But I can see this as some really good Chloe development here. Sheā€™s always been told to ā€œbe perfectā€ to follow the rules; she hasnā€™t had many friends in the past, so of course when sheā€™s thrust into a rule enforcing position, sheā€™d fall back onto the ā€œbe the best no matter the costā€ mentality that has pushed her up until this point. Was it a bit too extreme, oh yeah, but then again Chloe seems to be an all or nothing sort of girl. This episode also touched on a lot of stuff if you look past the parody, so it was very deep too i think.
Ā As a whole I think these both (the production pair of stories, not the aired pair) work very well together. Dadlantis was fun and stupidly silly, while Chloe Rules was silly, but it was in a distracting sort of way. I think itā€™s a great episode as a while. Highly recommend it if you want Chloe development, and some fun laughs.
Tardy Sauce/Tacomania:
Ā Iā€™m confused by the name of this episode because itā€™s listed one way in one place and as another elsewhere, and both are actually pretty goodā€¦EDIT: Now we know that Tardy Sauce us the official name, but ā€œTacomania is still good and Ā I think plays to the story concept more
Ā Iā€™m still not sure if they keep changing her middle names or notā€¦I think I really need a transcript to know what all of her middle names are at this point ^^;
Ā Lol you wanted to catch her, so you thought a literal net would be the best course. That is actually funny. Basic and rudimentary, but actually funny. But also whoot! Chloe has super teeth too!! Idk why that seems awesome. I just like how much of a perfect anti-thesis she is to Timmy actually.
Ā And we cue up more Carmicheal family doing ā€œnew ageā€ stuff. Neats. I like how hippie-dippie anthropology they are
Ā Pointless Crockerā€¦I guess isnā€™t *as* pointless, because here heā€™s at least a plot point/story deviceā€¦but why is a teacher making this call? Isnā€™t it usually the principal or superintendent? That shouldā€™ve been a tip off that something was wonky Chloe dearā€¦
Ā Chloeā€¦obsessing over school like that is badā€¦but yes dear, you are a vegetarian so it makes perfect sense you donā€™t like tacos, but yes it was a great pun. (You are so relatable I love you lol) and yeah you totally work the system that way; 1 per person but your plus one hates the thing, you totally get two then!
Ā Why are there so many mascot clowns in FOPverseā€¦? Also, Tim, what happened to your fear of clowns??
Ā Oh look another person seeing the fairies and it not mattering. Itā€™s like Da Rules need not apply
Ā Pointless Dadā€¦but the dummies are still a thingā€¦wait no they were hand puppets before. Uhg. But yeah ok, Iā€™ll let you keep the one point for continuity because they are puppets still and it plays to the plot idea about getting extra tacos I guessā€¦
Ā And even Chet Ubetcha sees the fairies and calls them a mystical creature on tvā€¦yup, Da Rules are so still a thingā€¦
Ā But yes Chloe, what an amazing plot twist, Tim tricked you to get tacos, legasp! Though honestly, if the taco stand is that close to school, why did you need to ditch to begin with Tim? I know, youā€™d use any excuse to ditch school silly question. But really, why?
Ā Timā€¦the tacos are in the bag stillā€¦you can still eat thoseā€¦even if they werenā€™t youā€™d still probably eat them because youā€™re gross like that. But yeah, seriously, only the bag is yucky dude. AND YOU HAVE MAGIC EVEN! You can easily save those tacos! I justā€¦I donā€™t get itā€¦
Ā Ok Tim, dude, why you gotta be petty here man? She already said why she wanted to go to school, you obviously know you did bad by lying to her, distracting her from making it to school is just a jerky move. I mean, sheā€™s gonna be wicked tardy, so it shouldnā€™t count for perfect attendance anyways, but that aside. She threw your tacos in the garbage is why youā€™re doing it; dude, like I said the tacos were FINE. All making her miss it is going to do is make her HATE you. this is just stupid on your part. I get youā€™re a twerpy 11/12 (should be 14 honestly by now) year old at this point, so yeah perfectly believable reaction on your part, so A+ writers! Iā€™m just saying dude, if you stopped to think, youā€™d realize what a jerk youā€™re being, when this is all your fault to begin with.
Ā Youā€™re not having a wish fight, you were the only one making wishes until the troll wish. And he shouldnā€™t be able to unwish your wish anyways Chloe, that was previously established, so why reiterate it?
Ā Waitā€¦hold up waitā€¦you did not just sayā€¦omr you really did just say that Crocker didnā€™t you. Tim planned a surprise party because she broke the record? Oh. My. Ra. I did not see that plot twist coming. I am justā€¦oh wow. That was some very good writing. The whole setup felt like a normal plausible scenario, like there was no possible way thereā€™d be an arterial motive to it. I justā€¦wow.
Ā The end button, not so greatā€¦
Ā But Iā€™m just, wow. This is a prime example of a non-magical episode that deals with real life stuff, solved in a real life way I think. And it is a wonderful example really. I also think it shows Timā€™s real level of maturity that we forget he has. I mean, he planned this whole ruse after all, even when it was something he didnā€™t understand (though, werenā€™t you all about perfect attendance way back in TimvisibleI??), and got everyone else on board with it too even though they didnā€™t get it either. But he knew Chloeā€™s attendance record meant everything to her, so he made it special for her. Iā€™m justā€¦floored. This is character development. It might not be actiony, or filled with (horrible) sight gags, but it is some very necessary character development that weā€™ve been sorely lacking for a long time. A+++ on the writing here guys, honestly.
Together, I donā€™t think Chloe RulesĀ and Tardy SauceĀ should have been aired together because theyā€™re both pretty strong stories (the former less than the later granted) and the weaker stories *need* the stronger ones to help balance them out. Admittedly Dad-lantisĀ and Crockin the houseĀ were both good fillerish stories too, but they pair so well with these that when you split them up, they just didnā€™t do as well with what the were stuck with. I donā€™t know if this season was produced with the idea that the A- and B-stories could be separated and ran out of order or not, but Iā€™ve always felt that if the production team put them together in an order, it was probably for a good reason. I know these days the networks want just content to slap in anywhere any time and not care about a continuous story line, and if itā€™s written that way then itā€™s great; but when itā€™s written to go together a specific way, you ruin it by chopping it up and throwing it around willy nilly.
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smartworkingpackage Ā· 7 years ago
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Surviving the Open Office (Really, Itā€™s Not So Bad)
Itā€™s ten oā€™clock, and I glance up from my first (okay, second) cup of coffee, only to lose my train of thought. Thatā€™s because thereā€™s a visitor in the office. When our recruiter brings new candidates in, she gives them a quick tour, always zipping by my table. ā€œAnd over here is the marketing team,ā€ she points out. ā€œYou see we have an open office, which is really great for collaboration.ā€
A big part of life here at Evernote is our open work environment. We find that it helps us work more collaboratively, develop relationships, and cultivate a transparent culture.
And weā€™re not aloneā€”open offices are everywhere these days. In fact, around 70 percent of US offices have some form of an open concept, according to the International Facility Management Association.
But not everyone is a fan. Critical headlines range from ā€œ9 Reasons That Open-Space Offices are Insanely Stupidā€ to ā€œThe Victims of Open Offices are Pushing Back.ā€ Taking shots at the open office is as much in vogue as the open layout itself.
I have to admit, even though Iā€™m a stage 5 introvert, some of this pushback seems a little harsh. Itā€™s not that bad, right?
So instead of extolling the virtues of open offices or writing a manifesto on why they donā€™t work, weā€™ve drawn up the ultimate open office pro-con list. And regardless of which side youā€™re on, weā€™ve got tips on how teams and leaders can make open workspaces work.
Team open: letā€™s hear from the pros
Despite all of the negativity, proponents of the open office range from Michael Bloomberg to Steve Jobs. Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg even hired Frank Gehry to architect the worldā€™s largest open floor plan for a legion of engineers.
Itā€™s not hard to see why, especially when you consider the alternatives.
Cube farms may give you a modicum of privacy; they were hardly a beloved setup. Ugly, impersonal, and rigid, theyā€™ve been mocked in many a Dilbert comic strip. And while private offices are appealing, giving everyone a corner office is simply unrealistic. (Curse you, Euclidian geometry!)
But the open office is not just a trendy corporate initiative to squeeze more people closer together. Here are some other pluses:
Letā€™s collaborate. Ok, you probably saw this one coming a mile away. But yes, youā€™re more likely to collaborate and connect with your co-workers if you can, you know, see them.
You can easily ask for advice without having to intrude on closed doors. Instead of sending an email, you can walk right over and actually talk. In person. And experts agree that face-to-face communication is the best kind. In fact, one study found that a face-to-face request is 34 times more likely to be successful than an email request.
The intuition that weā€™re more likely to collaborate is not without merit. One study found that those on the same floor are 57 percent more likely to collaborate than those who are not. Another study discovered that putting the right workers near each other leads to a 15 percent increase in performance.
Getting to know you. Open office plans also increase personal interaction. Unexpected bonds develop as jokes drift the across the room and impromptu lunch outings are organized. And studies have shown that work relationships have a huge impact. Research shows that having just one friend at work makes you more likely to stay.
Sparking creativity. Bringing everyone together in an open space can also help get the creative juices flowing. Itā€™s easier to bounce ideas off of each other and organically get others involved through a simple, ā€œHey, what does everyone think about this?ā€
And while one of the main complaints leveled against open offices is the noise, one study found that we need certain levels of ambient noise to trigger creativity. Total silence can be stifling. Participants in the study who were exposed to 70 decibels worth of background noise (about what youā€™d find in a coffeehouse) outperformed other groups.
Keeping things equal. An open office environment can create a more egalitarian workplace and eliminate the competition for private offices. Many companies, including Evernote, donā€™t even give senior leaders a private space. This can make company leaders seem more approachable and personable, instead of turning them into intimidating figures employees never interact with.
Thereā€™s also more accountability. You can see whoā€™s there, whoā€™s not. If youā€™re putting in long hours, chances are it wonā€™t go unnoticed. On the flip side, you (sadly) canā€™t spend the whole day looking at dog videos on Twitter when everyone can see your screen.
Change it up. Open concepts also allow companies to reconfigure workspaces as needed. If it turns out that putting sales next to engineers was a bad idea, you can change it. No need to commit to a single layout.
And this reflects the nature of how we work nowadays. We travel, we work from home, we go to meetings. In short, weā€™re not always at our desk. And studies show that workstations are unoccupied 60 percent of the time. So we need workspaces that reflect that.
Let the light in. Fewer walls equal more natural light. And research shows that natural light improves health, alertness, creativity, and sleep. A study also showed that better workplace lighting was linked to fewer absences. Not to mention the fact that sitting under the windowless flicker of fluorescent lights somehow seems damaging to your soul.
You also canā€™t just get rid of the walls, put everyone at a long table, and hope people collaborate. Culture change, norms, and respect for privacy and deep work also need to develop.
Cons: The walls never bothered us anyway
Whether itā€™s the sensation that the CEO is peering over your shoulder or the sinking feeling that youā€™ll catch a cold from the co-worker who just sneezed, there are some drawbacks of laying it all out in the open.
Some argue that all of the benefits of open spaces might not make up for these drawbacks:
Do not disturb. Critics contend that while we think the open office will lead to more collaboration, it can actually lead to less.
We donā€™t really want to collaborate all day longā€”we need time and space to think, too. So we build our own ā€˜walls.ā€™ We manufacture barriers and find ways to create our own little bubbles of isolation. Most of us recognize the furrowed brow of a ā€˜donā€™t bother meā€™ face. Thereā€™s even a whole industry of products to protect yourself, from noise-canceling headphones to pop-up personal tents.
As Jason Feifer puts it in Fast Company, ā€œWe like talking to each other, but we have been put into an environment that tries to manufacture that talking, and now we do the opposite.ā€
Can you keep it down? One of the biggest complaints among open-office workers is the noise. Personal (and business) phone calls. Brainstorming sessions. Music blaring. People talking to themselves. Chances are if you work in an open office, youā€™ve heard it all (pun very much intended).
A 2013 survey showed that more than two-thirds of US employees are unhappy with the noise levels at work. And while we know a certain amount of background noise can help foster creativity, research has shown that too much open office noise can wipe out those benefits. Unlike when youā€™re at a coffee shop, at work we know the people making the noise. Itā€™s harder to tune out. Excessive noise has been linked to stress and fatigue. One study even found that noisy offices impair your ability to recall information or even do basic math.
It also creates a sort of peer pressure to keep it down, usually conveyed via a carefully placed ā€˜stink eyeā€™ that makes you less likely to chat.
Pass the hand sanitizer. If you feel like youā€™re constantly getting sick from work, itā€™s because you probably are. A Danish study found that open office workers had significantly more days of absence due to sickness. A different study found that a lack of private offices caused high blood pressure, stress, and staff turnover. So those coughs and sneezes really may be something to fear.
Hold that thought. Youā€™re really in the zone, and then someone creeps up behind you, seemingly out of nowhere. ā€œHey, do you have a second to chat?ā€ a co-worker says. Weā€™ve all been there. It never lasts just a second and then itā€™s hard to get back into it.
But it keeps happeningĀ because when youā€™re out in the open, youā€™re somewhat of a sitting duck. Some people assume that youā€™re free for a chat because they can see you.
Whether itā€™s people physically coming up to you, or just movement in your peripheral vision, open plans can disrupt your thinking and deep work. Research from the University of California showed that workers are interrupted every three minutes and that it can take up to 23 minutes to recover and refocus. A team from George Mason University found that interruptions also degrade the overall quality of your work.
Get some ā€˜alone time.ā€™ Whether itā€™s taking a personal phone call or having a mini-breakdown, sometimes we just need a minute. We need a chance to be humanā€”we canā€™t always maintain a perfect facade of productivity. And to have those moments, we need privacy.
And for introverts, an open office can be an especially dark place. Constantly interacting with other humans can be exhausting. In her popular TED talk on how our workplaces are designed for extroverts, Susan Cain, author of Quiet, explains this powerfully. She notes that ā€œmodern offices have the collaboration element well taken care of, but theyā€™re neglecting the concentration and the contemplation.ā€
The verdict:
So like most things in life, there are positives and negatives to working in an open-plan office.
And thatā€™s to be expected. Itā€™s hard to design a space that works for everybody. You also canā€™t just get rid of the walls, put everyone at a long table, and hope people collaborate. Culture change, norms, and respect for privacy and deep work also need to develop.
Donna Flynn, the director of Steelcaseā€™s WorkSpace Futures research group, summarized it this way: ā€œThe open plan isnā€™t to blame any more than reverting to all private offices can be a solution. There is no single type of optimal work setting. Instead, itā€™s about balance.ā€
Tips for making it work
If youā€™re in an open office, here are some ways to cultivate productivity:
Put on headphonesā€”but consider the impact of what you listen to on your productivity. Try listening to ambient noise.
Assess whether someone is available to chat. Wait until you have multiple questions, try catching him in the hallway, or just send an email if she looks deep in thought.
Assume good intent. If you see a co-worker on Facebook, remember that she may need a break.
Block off a few hours (or an entire day) on your calendar for some ā€˜do not disturb/deep workā€™ time.
But not everyone has a say in how the workspace is set up. So here are some tips for leaders to consider:
Redesigning or moving to a new space?
Ask employees what kind of environment they like instead of making assumptions.
Create different kinds of spaces, such as Ā ā€˜huddle roomsā€™ or ā€˜focus boothsā€™ in addition to collaboration areas.
Make sure that thereā€™s a mix of reservation-only and first come-first served spaces so finding a spot isnā€™t impossible.
Look into soundproofing options and materials such as acoustic panels.
Already got an open space?
Come up with some ground rules as a team. Write down things you all agree on, such as ā€˜donā€™t bother me if I have my headphones on.ā€™ Add these to your team notebook in Evernote Business, so everyone always has access.
Think about how teams are placed next to each other. Maybe a sales team thatā€™s on the phone all day shouldnā€™t be right next to the quiet-loving writers.
Introduce a work from home day, or no-meeting day.
Make it easier to move around and work from anywhere by setting up an information library in a team notebook. Include WiFi, VPN, and video conferencing details.
Send sick people home. And model good behavior by staying home yourself.
Have conversations with those who arenā€™t respecting the open space. It can get awkward, but itā€™s important.
Offer a credit that employees can put towards a solid new pair of headphonesĀ like we do here at Evernote.
Ā  from Evernote Blog http://ift.tt/2B2JaeS via IFTTT
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fionatlux Ā· 7 years ago
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So maybe youā€™ve heard about this new pseudo-period drama, Still Star-Crossed, thatā€™s a takeoff on Romeo and Juliet, and youā€™re wondering what itā€™s all about! It looks great: incredibly good-looking multiracial cast, stunning locations, just all-around gorgeousness. But the episodes are an hour long, and youā€™re not sure you want to invest. You wish someone would do a parody-dialogue recap? (I realize this is unlikely, since I feel like the long-form parody-dialogue recap died with LJ, but oh well.) You are in luck! I have decided to recap at least the first few episodes. The first one is a bit slow-going--itā€™s heavy on exposition and setup--but the show is highly entertaining, and by episode 3, itā€™s even funny on purpose. Check it out, and if you enjoy, watch the show! It airs on ABC on Saturday nights, and is available on Hulu the day after, I believe. Episode 4 airs this week!
Iā€™ve also reviewed the book itā€™s based on here.Ā Episode 2 recap is here.
EPISODE 1
In fair Verona where we lay our sceneā€¦ Two houses, both alike in blah blah blah we know.
Some Gorgeous Cathedrally Interior
[We open with a clandestine, ill-advised wedding. Romeo and Juliet are delighted! Benvolio and Rosaline, accompanying their respective cousins, areā€¦ not.]
FRIAR LAURENCE: Look, I also have a bad feeling about this, but orders are orders.
[Wait, what?]
FRIAR LAURENCE: I mean, too many funerals, a wedding is a nice change, yay true love!
ROSALINE & BENVOLIO: *look concerned*
Ā  A Deathbed, The Palace
[The elderly prince of Verona is dying. He has wonderful gravitas.]
THE PRINCE: Isabella, make sure that my law eliminating due process for accused murderers is instated. And keep your brother from doing anything stupid. Where is he, anyway?
ESCALUS: Iā€™m here! Iā€™m here! I raced the CGI zoom shot on horseback all the way from Venice!
THE PRINCE: Son, you must keep Montague and Capulet in line. Seriously, if you donā€™t, youā€™ll be next.
ESCALUS: It is painfully obvious that I am a sweet boy and in no way equipped to rule a city.
ISABELLA: It is also obvious that, in addition to having great fashion sense and magnificent eyebrows, I am politically savvy and ominously ambitious.
Ā  Maison Montague
[CGI zoom! Here we see three BFFs returned home after, presumably, a night of bro times and possibly a secret wedding. They are met by their paterfamilias, who looks like the lovechild of Charles Boyle fromĀ Brooklyn Nine Nine and Lucius Malfoy. I immediately christen him Luciles Malfoyle.]
LUCILES MALFOYLE: Welcome back, Romeo, my beloved son! Hi, Mercutio! I made breakfast! BUT NOT FOR YOU, BENVOLIO. Delinquents who break off perfectly good engagements because ā€œoh noes I donā€™t love herā€ DONā€™T DESERVE BREAKFAST.
BENVOLIO: O-okay. Iā€™ll just be over here chewing on a large chunk of irony, then.
A MESSENGER: The Prince is dead! Escalus is in charge!
LUCILES MALFOYLE: I SMELL OPPORTUNITY!
LUCILES MALFOYLE: No, wait, thatā€™s just the stink of bars and prostitutes. Go shower, B.
Ā  Casa Capulet
[Itā€™s Giles! Hi, Giles! He is having an Argument of Exposition with Lady Capulet, who looks like a Disney Evil Queen. This is about right, because Rosalineā€™s sister Livia looks like someone who gets ready in the morning with the help of bluebirds and a trio of singing mice.]
LIVIA: Theyā€™re totally going to let us go to the ball!
[Keep dreaming, Livia! A dream is a wish your heart makes!]Ā 
GILES: They are our orphaned, impoverished nieces! I feel bad about making them be servants!
LADY CAPULET: They are YOUR nieces and I hate them.
LIVIA: Anyway, I need to go to the ball to meet a rich husband so that I can be happy and you canā€¦ join a nunnery? Seriously? I think you are overestimating the amount of free time a nun gets.
ROSALINE: Well, weā€™re about 200 years too early for Mary Wollstonecraft, so this is the best I can do.
LADY CAPULET: Although it pains me in my soul to say thisā€¦ you can go to the ball.
LIVIA: YES!!!! No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true!
ROSALINE: I am not excited about going to the ball, and even less excited about meeting the prince, but I really love my baby sister.
Ā JULIET: Oh good, youā€™re all here. I have big news! Iā€¦ canā€™t go to the ball becauseā€¦ uhā€¦ becauseā€¦
ROSALINE: Perhaps youā€™reā€¦ really tired?
JULIET: Yes! Thatā€™s totally it! I am tired! Sick, even! KTHXBAI!
ROSALINE: Well, at least she has a nice view of the fireworks from her balcony.
[The fireworks are a metaphor. For orgasm. In case you missed it.]
Ā  A Fancy Ball, The Palace
[Iā€™m going to start interspersing this with more commentary, because parody dialogue takes a really long time to craft. The Capulets arrive at the ball! What are you two wearing? What are any of you wearing? What century even is it? Livia has puffed sleeves straight out of Anne of Green Gablesā€™s wildest dreams, while Rosaline is rocking a cold shoulder. I know itā€™s trendy, but it kind of looks like she gave her sleeves to Livia. I donā€™t even know. Isabella's tiara is nice, though.]
[Montague is also here! The two families snipe at each other! Ooh, a zinger from Giles. Giles: 1, Luciles Malfoyle: 0.]
ISABELLA: Let me catch you up on the Capulet-Montague sitch. Itā€™s bad. And Daddy said--
ESCALUS: Yeah, I know, no trials for murderers, summary execution, blah blah blah.
[Listen to your sister, Escalus, because if this goes anything like the book, pretty soon she's gonna be married off to Hot 1990s Denzel Washington from a different play entirely and then you won't have anybody to advise you on yourĀ incredibly stupidĀ plans.] [Spoiler: It does not go anything like the book.]
Ā ISABELLA: I am so happy to see you, Rosaline!
ROSALINE: I am markedly less happy to see you.
ESCALUS: *heart eyes*
ROSALINE: You I will favor with a look of repressed longing.
[Hmmm. I smell backstory! I mean, I know the backstory, Iā€™ve read the book, but still.]
Ā LIVIA: Somewhere in this crowd is my one true love. Ooh, and fire dancers!
ROSALINE: Is my sweet precious grown-up baby sister not the most adorable thing youā€™ve ever seen?
Ā  Elsewhere at the Fancy Ball
BENVOLIO: OK, so I came up with an itinerary for tonightā€™s pub-and-brothel crawlā€”
[aw snotblossoms, itā€™s Tybalt!]
TYBALT: FIGHT ME, MONTAGUE SCUM!
[Romeo would rather not, but then Mercutio shows up and it is ON. Tybalt stabs Mercutio. Romeo stabs Tybalt. Benvolio is busy dueling some other guy, I donā€™t know.]
MERCUTIO: A plague on both your houses! Ask for me tomorrow; you shall find me a grave man. *dies*
[Romeo is devastated. Benvolio is extremely concerned. Me, I am just glad Mercutio was allowed to keep the pun.]
Ā  The Courtyard, Casa Capulet
[The Capulet courtyard has much better shrubbery than the Montague courtyard. Weā€™re talking topiary, hedge mazes, fishpond. It is GLORIOUS. Giles: 2, Luciles Malfoyle: 0.]
GILES: Yeah I kind of feel bad about how many people the feud has killed. It all started when my ancestor let one of his serfs save up money to buy his own flock, or something.
A VERY FANCY YOUNG MAN: I like money and power and I have a lot of both.
GILES: Count Paris, I have to tell you that I am unimpressed by your doublet-and-cape ensemble, magnificently upholstered though it is.
PARIS: Also my father is the prince of Mantua. Juliet will be well cared for there.
[They sound like they are discussing retirement arrangements for, like, a sick racehorse. It is not romantic, and Paris looks vaguely greasy to boot. Neverthelessā€”]
GILES: Sold!
Ā  The Breakfast Room, Casa Capulet
[Juliet is not having a good morning.]
LADY CAPULET: Well, well, thou hast a careful father, child. Congratulations, youā€™re marrying Paris. He is handsome, rich, and exceptionally well dressed! Seriously, I am going to reupholster all our furniture in his doublet material.
ROSALINE: *drops dishes*
GILES: And Romeo has killed your cousin Tybalt, which means his life is forfeit.
JULIET & ROSALINE: Oh, crap.
Ā  The Streets of Verona
ROMEO: *is on the lam*
Ā  The Palace
ESCALUS: Romeo was just avenging Mercutio! That seems legit to me!
[He seems oblivious to the fact that this kind of thinking is what keeps feuds going in the first place.]
ISABELLA: Yeah, but he got blood all over our floor. The law says he dies! And the law means nothing if you donā€™t enforce it.
ESCALUS: I canā€™t afford to piss off Montague!
ISABELLA: This is the kind of thinking that leads to revolution! To heads on spikes, brother! OUR HEADS. ON SPIKES. Is that what you want? IS IT?
[Actually Isabellaā€™s kind of thinking also leads to revolution, though sheā€™s not wrong about the need to actually enforce laws. Iā€™m a little concerned for the monarchy, here.]
Ā  The Sewers of Verona
ROMEO: *is still on the lam*
Ā  Julietā€™s Room, Casa Capulet
JULIET: We canā€™t just let him die!
ROSALINE: ā€¦We could, though? It would solve a lot of problems, Iā€™m just saying.
Ā  Friar Laurenceā€™s Workshop of Creepy Potions
FRIAR LAURENCE: Here is a fake-death potion. Donā€™t take more than one drop or it will be real-death potion.
JULIET: And you have fake-real-death potion lying around becauseā€¦?
FRIAR LAURENCE: Donā€™t ask.
Ā  Julietā€™s Room, Casa Capulet
ROSALINE: Are you sure about this?
JULIET: Yep.
ROSALINE: Okay then. HELP! MY LADY JULIET IS DEAD!
[Ladies, this is a terrible plan. You donā€™t actually have a plan! You donā€™t even have a pla! The show didnā€™t give you one!]
Ā  Some Tavern
BENVOLIO: *drinks*
FRIAR LAURENCE: B., whereā€™s Romeo?
[Maybe he has a plan? Unfortunately, Benvolio doesnā€™t know where Romeo is.]
Ā  The Capulet Tomb
[Sad Paris is sad. His doublet-and-cape ensemble, however, is still magnificent. Enter Romeo, fight fight fight, stabz, drinks, dies, Juliet awakens, drinks, dies. In this version, Romeo, not a churl, has left a friendly drop to help her after. They lie facing each other on the bier, their hands entwined, their heads close together on the pillows like sleeping children. It is actually really sad.]
ROSALINE [arriving juuuuust too late]: Ohhhhh, this is bad. *flees*
[Dramatic zoom on Paris! He suddenly awakens and, with the last of his strength, Googles something.]
PARIS: ā€œHowā€¦ to getā€¦ bloodā€¦ out of upholsteryā€¦ā€
Ā  Obligatory Period Drama Corset-Lacing Scene, Casa Capulet
[Evil Queen Lady Capulet and Rosaline are having a hostile heart-to-heart. It is abundantly clear that while Livia is living in a Disney Cinderella, Rosaline is stuck in the unhappy parts ofĀ Ever After.]
LADY CAPULET: Admire my generosity in letting you attend Julietā€™s funeral! Are you not grateful? Donā€™t say I never did anything for you.
ROSALINE: No, really, what have you ever done for us? We wait on you hand and foot, and you hate us because you were in love with our father but you wanted a title so you married Giles instead, and our presence is a constant reminder of what you gave up!
LADY CAPULET: *backhands* Too much exposition!
Ā ROSALINE: I miss my parents. And Juliet.
ROSALINE: Conceal donā€™t feel, donā€™t let them know! Well, now Lady Capulet knows.
Ā  Friar Laurenceā€™s Cell of Dropped Bombshells
LUCILES MALFOYLE: I secretly encouraged my son to fall in love with Capuletā€™s daughter, and I paid you to marry themā€”
[WHAT?!]
LUCILES MALFOYLE:ā€”and am I gonna get to lord it over Giles at state dinners now? Well, AM I?!?!
FRIAR LAURENCE: ā€¦no?
LUCILES MALFOYLE: And whose fault is that?
FRIAR LAURENCE: ā€¦mine?
LUCILES MALFOYLE: DAMN RIGHT IT IS.
[I give Luciles Malfoyle a point for sneakiness, but take it away again because it got people killed and he clearly did not plan for this contingency. Giles: 2, Luciles Malfoyle: 0.]
Ā  The Double Funeral
ESCALUS: And so, I realize that Capulet and Montague are basically the two mafia families that run this city, but I really need you all to give it a rest.
ROSALINE & BENVOLIO: *look concerned*
ESCALUS: Look, Montague commissioned this solid gold statue of Juliet as a peace offering!
[Giles: 2, Luciles Malfoyle: 1]
GILES [sotto voce]: And as a gauche display of wealth! Montagues, so lacking in class, amirite?
[Giles: 3, Luciles Malfoyle: 1]
[Escalus dramatically unveils the statue. It has been scrawled with the word ā€œHARLOTā€ in red lettersā€”]
ME: Wrong show!
[ā€”and the funeral dissolves into chaos.]
ESCALUS: Rosaline! Iā€™ll save you! Here, hide with me in this incredibly beautiful candlelit room.
ROSALINE: You do the heart eyes extremely well, but Iā€™ve got to find my sister. Rosaline out!
Ā  Sibling Argument, The Palace
ISABELLA: Escalus, do something about all this civil brawling!Ā 
ESCALUS: But Mantua! Padua! The Medici! The Papal states! You donā€™t understand because youā€™re a GIRL!
ISABELLA: They can't conquer Verona if there isn't any of Verona left! YOUR DAMN CITY IS ON FIRE. LITERALLY.
Ā Sibling Argument, Casa Capulet
LIVIA: You let Juliet marry a Montague and didnā€™t think that MAYBE THIS IS SOMETHING I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT???
ROSALINE: No time to argue! Weā€™re getting out while we still can!
LIVIA: Out? Are you out of your goddamn mind?
[The sisterly argument is interrupted by a summons from the palace!]
Ā  The Brawling Streets of Verona
ROSALINE: Oh great, brigands. Like this day couldnā€™t get any worse.
[Itā€™s about to get worse.]
A HELPFUL BYSTANDER: This way!
ROSALINE: Oh great, a dead-end alleyā€¦ that is strewn with bodiesā€¦
THE HELPFUL BYSTANDER: Actually I am a villain!
ROSALINE: Time to conk a dude on the head with a billet of wood. Ā 
BENVOLIO [heroically backlit]: Iā€™ll save you!
ROSALINE: I had it under control! You realize this is all your fault?
[They bicker, loudly, casting blame on each other and running through the entire list of ways in which Romeo and Juliet could have somehow not turned out badly.]
BENVOLIO: I am starting to seriously question why I jumped in to save a ladyā€™s life.
ROSALINE: Your saving me is the worst thing ever. Iā€™m going to storm off now.
BENVOLIO [calling after her]: YOUā€™RE WELCOME.
[The Rock called, he wants his Moana tagline back. Heā€™ll probably get it: Benvolio doesnā€™t have enough tattoos or sass to carry it off very far. At least, Iā€™m assuming he doesnā€™t. Itā€™s kind of hard to tell under all the leather. His mustache is trying, though.]
Ā  The Castle of Capulet
[Meanwhile, Livia has been transported into a Gothic novel. She discovers a secret passage with a secret staircase leading to The Secret Sickroom, where The Nurse and Evil Queen Lady Capulet are tending to a sweaty, disheveled Paris. He is posing attractively and gasping as he continues to bleed on the upholstery. Clearly this requires someone with doctor skills and discretion.]Ā 
LIVIA: I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE!
Ā  Some Throne Room, The Palace
[Rosaline arrives, disheveled, at what is obviously an intervention. Giles and the Montagues are already there.]Ā 
GILES: Niece, I hope you are feeling extra patriotic today! For the Greater Good!
ROSALINE: This cannot possibly bode well.
[It doesnā€™t.]
ESCALUS: The marriage of Benvolio Montague and Rosaline Capulet is now mandated by the state. Which is me. Congratulations.
ROSALINE & BENVOLIO: ā€¦
BENVOLIO: Will your grace command me any service to the worldā€™s end? I will go on the slightest errand now to the Antipodes that you can devise to send me on; I will fetch you a tooth-picker now from the furthest inch of Asia, bring you the length of Prester Johnā€™s foot, fetch you a hair off the great Chamā€™s beard, do you any embassage to the Pigmies, rather than hold three wordsā€™ conference with this harpy!
ROSALINE: I take it back; this is the worst thing ever. ROSALINE OUT.
Ā  A Fabulous Candlelit-and-Frescoed Interior, The Palace
ROSALINE: Given our adorable and romantic past that was tragically interrupted by my father being murdered in the street by Montagues, I think I have the right to ask: How could you?
ESCALUS: Iā€™m actually doing this for totally valid political reasons, but Iā€™m going to try to justify it by making it seem like Iā€™m doing you a favor!
ROSALINE: Un. be. lieve. able.
ESCALUS: What do you want?
ROSALINE: Economic and political agency for women and a sovereign who isn't a complete bonehead?
ESCALUS: Try again.
ROSALINE: I will settle for tearful, clandestine makeouts.
ESCALUS: Done!
Ā BENVOLIO: Well, that escalated quickly.
[Someone had to say it.]
Next Episode
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