#yes only tagging the ones i have more positive takes on i don't want drama

[ladyloveandjustice]

List of "Does it Like Women" Results and whether I agree

I find the "Does it like women" blog fascinating, as y'all have probably noticed. I always tend to think deeply about this topic when I consume media, so I wanted to make a list of results I disagree with, because it interests me! I'll likely be updating this through reblogs if my interest doesn't wane, I'll make a note in the replies when I do!

Loves Women

I agree with all of these so far! Well, loves women might be a little bit of a stretch for the first Spiderverse movie (on the other hand...doc ock...hnnn), but I think the second does so yeah basically agree.

Likes Women

Kill la Kill- Man it's 2013 again and I'm seeing tumblr make powerpoints about how klk is deeply feminist and it's actually a super deep critique of harassment that Ryuko has to wear the ugliest outfit ever and Westerners Don't Understand (person making this argument is inevitably a Westerner).

Yeah, based on the part I've seen and everything I've heard, hard disagree. But I have not seen the whole thing, just those three, I do know the part I saw included rape jokes a plenty, a weird victim-blamey take on "not being ashamed" of being forced into a skimpy outfit and how if you're bothered by men ogling you that's your weakness, and a vagina wedgie. I'm not as mad about it as I was back then,and I can appreciate the show has it's good points later on. Not having watched it also means my knowledge is incomplete. However, I have listened to really in depth breakdowns of the series (mainly Anifem's podcast), so I know exactly what happens, and yeah, the treatment of women doesn't impress me. I'm on the dislike side, (holding back on hates because again, haven't seen all of it)

...could understand mixed feelings though, I guess

Madoka- I'd definitely go more towards mixed feelings honestly (especially if we're counting Rebellion) but I get the people who say "likes".

Yuri is my Job- it loves women, it loves messy women, it loves women who love women, it loves them so much, idk why it got a sizeable no vote. People who only watched the first ep? People who think yuri is "bad"?

Mob Psycho 100- Someone in the notes says "accidentally likes women" and that's the only answer in the "likes women" area I'll accept. It has 10 million prominent male characters and like three prominent female characters. ONE really really obviously has a hard time imagining women as powerful or action heroes. (this is reflected in One Punch Man too) (One Punch Man actively hates women and queer people though, Mob is infinitely better) Only one who ever gets to fight and play with the boys, and she's a low level mook, and we have to spend 75% percent of her limited screentime on whether it's actually okay to fight women, with her winning argument being "Well you're literally a child so I guess it evens out" (???) The little girl with the evil dolls gets even less screentime.

I do like that the series examines how Mob idealized Takane and how people not caring about the real her made her tired, as well as how it allowed her to reject Mob and was basically a lesson in the importance of accepting rejection. But her screentime is also really limited, and I feel like we could have dove into her a lot more. Tome is a wonderful weird girl and I liked her little arc, and I hear she gets more in the Reigen manga, but still not a TON of screentime, and even with her there are a couple jabs about how she doesn't "count" as a girl due to not acting traditionally feminine we're clearly supposed to find funny. Emi is...there I guess. There's that sweet scene with the writer girl, and the bully girl, but they're like, not reoccurring at all, as evidenced by how I can't remember their names.

And uh. the girls school episode.

Anyway. Hot take but I don't think "they're barely in the story but when they are two of them are treated pretty decently and have some depth, though there is some weird stuff about whether women can even fight men or whatever" really counts as "likes women". I'd go more mixed feelings.

Life is Strange-out of the two options I chose dislikes, but my feelings are a lot closer to "mixed feelings". I go into why here.

Gushing Over Magical Girls- lol. lmao even. The anime about middle school girls who look 8 sexually assaulting other middle school girls DEFINITELY doesn't like women. I go into more detail here.

Cowboy Bebop: Mixed feelings, probably. I chose dislikes because yes, Faye and Ed are great (you could def read Ed as nb though), but Faye also is repeatedly damsel in distress'd and treated as incompetent in her field when I don't think she should be, she can be a failgirl without being the sole woman in the action side of the group and also the least capable (there's also That Scene in the movie). also i just. it's fine that she's sexy but I hate her outfit. give her something nicer looking, it's so ugly. But my main reason for a dislike vote is the treatment of Julia. Girl is a textbook example of fridging. They really gave her so little. But yeah I could see mixed feelings.

Also do you remember that one scene during Faye's tragic backstory where she's hospitalized and the camera requires us to look down her super (painful looking? like idk how she's not screaming about it) squished boobs during this tense and important moment god that took me out. whenever anyone acts like Faye always owns her sexiness and the camera never does anything I remember that scene.

Ranma 1/2: I've seen read a good chunk of it, and this result is...surprising. Maybe by the standards of 80's manga though, who knows.

Better Call Saul- I did vote yes on this one, but I'd put it more at mixed feelings. Kim is a fantastic character, but there aren't enough women on the show at all. She's a major part of the show, but basically the only one of any note. I only voted yes because I finally remembered Francesca was a reoccurring character and she's all right, but the fact I had to think to remember...

Undead Unluck: I know it gets a lot better later but I'm not sure if a work that has it's female character continuously and comically sexually harassed for the first few chapters can ever get liking women privileges. I don't know enough about it but it might be a mixed feelings situation.

Akiba Maid War: tbh I'd probably give this 'loves women'.

Ducktales: For the second season specifically I'd say "loves women". The first season leans more towards 'like women' though, so it evens out.

Mixed Feelings

Dracula- IIII definitely think it dislikes women, sorry guys. Mina is a great character and you do have to take it in the context of when it was written. But there are surely contemporaries of Bram Stoker that wouldn't have randomly gone out of their way to scoff at the "New Woman". Not to mention again, really random sidebars about how men are so much smarter and cooler and women should be grateful to them. I could go on about Lucy and how Mina is treated and whether that's a critique of sexism or just playing into it and how it's so open to interpretation but I'll stop here.

also the book is hugely anti- Romani, immigrant etc and I think that ties into disliking women since some women are those Romani and immigrants

It really really felt like a case where a lot of people in the Drac Daily tag just wanted it to be super feminist because they liked it (you can like things without having to make them feminist! it's fine!), and the way they scoffed at feminist scholars who had "surface level readings" of the text (aka they dared to say it was sexist) still leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

The Lego Movie: dislikes women. what are y'all on. Even it's own sequel calls it out for disliking women. Wildstyle is basically the only woman with real characterization and she's the purest concentration of "hypercompetent woman must play second fiddle to Average Male loser who is the one who actually saves the world and also she falls in love with him because of course she does'. Then Wonder Woman got one line (in literally the first theatrical move she got to even be in) and Superman and Batman a lot of screen time.

Does not like

Scott Pilgrim- Don't get this result, I'd put it at likes or mixed feelings? It's literally about how Scott has weird issues with women where he doesn't see them as to full people they are, and it calls him out on that hard. The whole sixth volume is how he made up a damsel in distress scenario for Kim and always took her for granted, how he put all the blame on Envy for the end of their relationship when he played a huge role in that, Knives finally getting over him, moving on, and telling him he needs to grow up a little (highlighting how his grossness towards her was him refusing to accept that he was an adult now, and that he was horrible to her, and yes he does apologize), and accepting that he and Ramona are both messed up people and she's just as flawed as he is, taking down the pedestal he put her on. And having Ramona triumphantly confront her abuser. Scott acknowledges he has a lot in common with Gideon, the supervillain!

Roxy is a sticking point, the whole 'it was a phase thing' and her and Ramona's relationshipbeing unexplored was annoying (fixed in Takes Off) but even she had some moments of pathos and was definitely the (Ramona's) ex the story seemed to sympathize with the most.

I dunno. this seems like a tumblr lacks media literacy thing again. Did you think the narrative agrees with Scott. Did you only watch the movie.

Succession- I'd go more mixed feelings? Dislikes is fine, I think it doesn't have enough women and often privileges male characters over them, but sometimes it's examination of the sexism Shiv faces is really incisive, and she's a complex character. But she should have gotten that abortion.

Watchmen: hates women actually. Pretty much anything written by Alan Moore does.

Persona 4: I think it hates women actually. But dislike is fine too.

Merlin: Everything I've heard about the show puts in in the hates camp rather than dislikes, but i never watched it (I did watch this video on it, and the bootlicking is out of this world if it's accurate) so I can't really comment

Fables: I cannot fathom how this did not get "hates women". Not just the fact it's written by a known misogynist. I will always remind everyone that I was literally there to see Bill Willingham say the female fans protesting the misogynist treatment of Stephanie Brown were annoying and he wishes he could shoot them. I was there. I heard him. This attitude completely shows up in his work. On top of that, his conservative, women hating idealogy all over this comic. Do you not remember all the random abortion soapboxes and how hard Snow White got sidelined????

And when I refreshed my memory, I discovered the reason Snow White had kids when she didn't want to was because a spell made her have sex with the male lead and she didn't even remember that happening. I also forgot that her backstory was the seven dwarfs raped her (but then she murdered them! Girl Power!) This is only the tip of the iceberg, I rediscovered way too many screwed up things he did to his female characters. Plus blatant Zionist propaganda and a ton of racism.

Like Snow White's backstory was some dark and edgy rape revenge and she's an Empowered Woman now, only to have her be raped by the man she will marry (in a mutual rape) but we don't call it that, and now she has kids she doesn't want, she can't get an abortion because It's Evil, time to quit her job she's proud of and move to a farm to have six kids.

iCarly-- It hates women! Dan Schneider. That should be all we need but some people in the comments insisted on separating the art from the artist despite the fact the artist is ALL OVER the art, and said art directly tormented Jeanette McCurdy! There was so much content in the show that was there to specifically torment her-- the fact her character has a food addiction/eating disorder while she had a real life eating disorder and they had to have known this, the fact after hearing she had a crush on an actor then they wrote it into her character to humiliate her, the fact they continually sexualized her while knowing her discomfort with it and with her body-- I have also watched the exhaustive basically minute-by-minute breakdown by QuintonReviews. Some gross shit happens on that show.

Hates Women

Agree with all of these so far!

[smoooothoperator]

What Was I Made For?

01: Crossfire

Charles Leclerc x driver!OC (Dafne Morelli)

childhood enemies, forced proximity, accidental pregnancy, enemies to lovers

a/n: Hi!!! First chapter! Are you guys excited? What do you think that will happen?

Masterlist

previous part | next part

If you want to be tagged don't forget to message me!

Every way of feedback is very welcomed

Monza. One of the two most important races for Ferrari in the calendar.

And my home race as well. 

The weather is still warm at the end of August, the sky is blue and every house has a Ferrari flag hanging from their windows. Every person that lives in Milano or in Italy knows that this weekend is important, that this weekend is their weekend.

“Do you think they will give you a chance to be the priority today?” 

Erica, my older sister by only two years. She was completely different from me, with blonde hair and skin easily tanned. She always came to my races, being the one that takes care of my flights and to rent cars to have during the weekend. Not like Soleil, who was actually a little version of me and my nutritionist.

“I mean, I'm ahead of Leclerc. They should” I said, shrugging my shoulders as I ate my breakfast. “The only person in front of me is Max, I don't think they want to risk and fuck up things right if front of all the Tifosi. They are idiots, but not that much to make me and Charles switch positions just because I'm the second driver”

Erica looked at me with a smile, nodding as she tied the strap of her dress in the back of her neck. Every time she came to the races she made sure to be dressed with the colors of the team, always wearing red since I was contracted by Ferrari and then white, red and black when I was in Haas. Today, for my homerace, she was wearing a nice cherry red dress from Meshki, a brand I made collabs with some months ago. 

“If they were smart they would do a good job and instead of letting Charles fight, they would order him to defend you from Lando” Soleil pointed, helping Erica to tie the dress. “Is not the first time they order you do that for him, and for once that you are in front of him they should give you a chance”

“I just want to end on the podium, that is the goal today” I sighed. “What Charles does is all his business”

“At least you should talk about the strategy…” Soleil sighed. “Only to make things clear. This is your home race, he should respect that”

“Hah! Sure” I laughed. “It was my home race last year too and he didn’t think twice to overtake me in the last lap even if his engineer was screaming in his ears to not do that. That’s even more cruel that overtaking me in the middle of the race” 

“But last year you two didn't have a warning like this year” Erica sighed. 

“Whatever, he’ll be an asshole anyway”

My sisters looked at each other and rolled their eyes, probably tired of the rivalry between Charles and I. But they don’t understand, they don’t understand how it feels to always be challenged by him since the first time he saw me. It was like he was a bully and I was his victim.

“You two are twenty six, when will be the day you two fix things?” Erica asked. 

“When one of us dies” I stated, making both of my sisters groan.

“Drama queen” Soleil sighed.

“Yes I am”

Getting out of the hotel was something that took us half an hour, being stopped by fans that waited for the drivers to start their way to the track. They called my name and the nickname they gave me when I got famous.

“Princepessa”

The good thing about being half Italian was that they didn't care if my other half was British. They cared about my Italian roots, feeling proud that someone from their country is driving for Ferrari. A Tifosi driving for the Tifosi.

“Today will be your day” a fan said. “You'll win this race”

I smiled at them, letting them put the friendship bracelets on my wrists and taking pictures with them, somehow wanting to believe all the words they said.

Some meters in front of me was Charles, signing caps and shirts on his way to the car. I recognized Andrea (his personal trainer), Joris (his photographer) and then a girl, probably his new fling. They were waiting for him already inside of the car, the three of them looking down at their phones.

“Is that his new girl?” I whispered to Erica, looking at the car Charles was walking to.

“I think so, she was in the hospitality yesterday” Erica answered, nodding. “I would say she's nice, but the only things she did was make tons of Tik Tok videos and pictures for her Instagram”

“Are we gossiping about his new girl?” Soleil smiled, stepping between us. “She's not nice. She thought I was one of the restaurant crew and just ordered me to bring her a coffee! And her manners? Uhg, non existent”

“His taste in women is really suspicious” I joked, looking at that girl, who actually looked like me.

The three of us walked towards the car that was waiting for us, walking in front of Charles' car and looking at the girl that was sitting in the front seat on the passenger seat. She was looking at her phone, recording a Tik Tok probably, while Joris and Andrea tried to not make obvious eye rolls.

“Yeah, neither his friends like her” Erica pointed.

I sighed, walking to the driver seat of my rented car and got it, turning on the engine while my sisters got in the car. People noticed us and started to wave at me, all of them holding the shirts and and even flags and waving them as I drove next to them.

“They want you to win” Soleil said excitedly, watching the Tifosi wave their hands.

“They want Ferrari to win” I corrected. “They don't care of it's me or Charles”

I heard them sigh and I just shrugged my shoulders, driving towards the track while the police guided us, somehow making sure neither Charles or myself suffered an accident before arriving.

If we have an accident during the race it’s no longer their problem.

After I parked the car, I saw Charles parking right next to mine, opening the door and looking at me. He sighed, rolling his eyes when I waved at him and immediately placed his hand on the back of the girl that was with him in this race.

I walked with my sisters, just a little faster to enter the paddock first, and when I looked at his girl I nearly laughed right on his face.

She was dressed with a top that only covered her front side and a skirt that had an opening on the side and let you see all her leg. 

“I think you went to the wrong place” I smiled at that girl. “Coachella was on April and Tomorrowland was on July”

“It's fashion” she frowned, her voice sounding too high. “You wouldn't understand”

“I do understand. At least I went to the Met Gala” I smiled, walking away and pressing my Paddock Pass on the ID scanner.

I could feel Charles' eyes on my back, probably thinking about ways of how to take me off of the track in a few hours, or how to poison my lunch. He would do anything to make sure I won't perform better than him.

Cameras and reporters followed me, making my sisters walk some feet behind me, taking pictures of me and asking things related to the race, which I always replied with the same answer.

“I'll do everything I can to win. It's an important race for me and for the team”

When they were satisfied with my answer and after they had enough pictures of me, they walked away to focus on other drivers that were around the paddock too.

As soon as the red building was close enough, the media managers and content creators of the team started to fly around me and soon after Charles, asking questions and doing the trends that were famous on social media.

Let's start the act.

The smile on my face was half real, half fake. Having Charles near while we were inside of the hospitality meant that the rivalry we had since kids had to be left outside the building, making us act friendly and fake just to make the team and sponsors happy.

“Hey Daf!” 

He knows I hate that nickname. He knows that every time he called me like that I ended up screaming at him, telling him that he's not allowed to call me that way, only one person and he is dead.

“Charlie!” I smiled, fakely, watching how he fought to not roll his eyes or look daggers at me. “Those jeans again? How many of them do you have?”

In moments like this I enjoyed teasing him, giving him nicknames he hated and making sure he couldn't fight me. 

“This jeans, dear Dafne, are my lucky jeans” he said, smiling. 

“Mhm, I wonder when are you going to burn them” I said. “But seems that your girl has the same taste as you, now makes sense”

I saw him clench his jaw and fists, taking deep breaths and looking at him with his eyes furrowed. He knows he can't do anything, so he simply smiles and nods, walking away to his room followed by that girl.

“What was her name?” I asked Soleil. “She has face of Karen”

“I think it's actually Karen” she laughed. “I wonder where he met her”

“I'm sure it was on Raya” I chuckled. “Maybe a summer fling that stayed for too long and he doesn't even know how to say no to her”

“I don't know who I should feel sorry for” Soleil sighed. “Him because she clearly is with him for the money, or her because she will probably be replaced soon”

I shrugged my shoulders and looked at the room with his number on the door, wondering what they would be doing. Ignoring each other? Her looking at the phone and taking pictures while Charles got changed? Probably that, or she would even be using him to take pictures of her so she could post them on Instagram, hinting that she's with him.

“Whatever, they are adults” I sighed, getting up. 

When I opened the door of my room and sighed, hearing how they talked, or most likely argued.

“What is her fucking problem? Why did she talk like that to me?” that girl exclaimed. “How dare she?”

“Come on, it wasn't that bad, Melanie…”

“Are you going to defend her or me?” her voice was too high, piercing into my ears. “Charles!”

“What! Fuck off, Melanie! You knew where you were coming, don't cry now. I told you what clothes you had to pack and, as always, you did whatever you wanted” he groaned, and I could hear how he closed the door of his closet.

“God, sometimes you are so stupid”

“Whatever”

I smiled, changing my clothes to my racing suit and folding my clothes, stretching my back and arms before walking out of the room, just at the same time as Charles. His jaw was clenched and I could see the vein of his temple a little swollen, something that always happened whenever he was angry or stressed, and probably now would be both reasons.

“Next time you bring a girl, make sure she knows where she's coming” I whispered.

“What about you won't open your mouth next time I bring a girl?” he frowned. “You are giving me a headache”

“Oh really? That's nice!” I smiled, winking at him and walking away. “You should have a painkiller, anyway”

“What I should have is a good race without you in front of me” he groaned.

“Too bad it won't be possible” I said. “Get used to it, I plan of being in front of you as much as I can”

That smile. 

God, I hated that smile.

I hated that she always knew what to say and how. 

“We'll see soon” I frowned.

She rolled her eyes and walked away, making me follow her with my eyes. Melanie walked out of the room and stood next to me, never letting go of her phone.

“Should I go to the balcony? I think there are nice views of the… How do you call it?” she said, making me take a deep breath and fake a smile.

“Paddock” I said.

“Oh yeah! That” she smiled.

“Look” I sighed. “I have things to do, I'm not your photographer”

Before she could say something I already was walking away towards the restaurant, sitting on a table and looking at my phone. Just a small lunch before doing interviews and then getting ready for the race, an ice bath and some stretch outs.

“Where did you leave that girl?”

I turned around and sighed when I recognized Erica's voice. She sat next to me and placed the cup of coffee in front of me.

Dafne's older sister always tried to be out of our  arguments. When we were kids, she always avoided our fights and stood away with my brother and Jules, ignoring us. I always believed that Jules and her would end up together, and somehow maybe they were for some time.

Maybe that's why she always tried to befriend me too, to make me feel that Jules was here too, and for her to have someone that reminds her of Jules.

“Last time I saw her she was asking me to take pictures of her” I sighed, grabbing the cup and drinking it slowly. “She was getting annoying”

“And why did you bring her, then?” she sighed. “I thought you were smarter”

“Did Dafne send you so she could just use this against me later?” I said looking at her, watching how she shook her head and smiled weakly.

“I came here because I care for you, Charles. I don't care if my sister and you can't stand each other” she said, resting her back on the chair and crossing her arms in front of her chest. My eyes went to the small tattoo of her wrist, one of many she has. The little 17 was facing me.

“A guy has his needs” I sighed. “And she was there on vacations”

“Sure, but you know what she has been doing while you were out of the hospitality?” she sighed, but I already knew the answer. “She thinks she's your girlfriend, Charles, only because you let her be in your bed”

“And what if she is?” I frowned, and somehow that tattoo got darker than it already was.

Jules would be disappointed, right?

“Look, I just…” I sighed, but immediately shook my head. “You wouldn't understand”

Of course she wouldn't. Because I don't understand it either.

“Then explain it to me, hm? I might be Dafne's sister, but I'm your friend too” she said. 

“Not now, okay?” I sighed. “I have things to do, a race to make”

“Alright” she sighed. “Good luck today, Charlie. Just… don't kill my sister”

She stood up and walked away, not after she messed my hair softly.

Jules and her would have made a really beautiful couple.

I took a deep breath and sighed, getting up and walking to my room again. I looked inside Dafne's room and frowned when I saw a fruit basket on her table, finding a big amount of peaches on it.

“Fuck” I sighed, walking in and grabbing that fruit.

I might hate her, but I don't wish her death.

“What are you doing?”

I tensed and took a deep breath, turning around and finding Dafne leaning on the door frame, watching me with the peaches in my hands. 

“Nothing” I said. 

“Putting a fruit you know I'm allergic to in a basket?” she frowned. “I thought you were stupid, but this? This is crossing the line”

“No! Hey!” I frowned. Did she really think I put them on purpose? “I just grabbed them because I know you are allergic to the peel of the peach, asshole. You are welcome”

Before she could say anything I walked out of her room and went to mine, locking the door and groaning. 

The Italian anthem echoed through the stands of Monza, reverberating in my chest as I stood in front of the grid. My heart pounded in time with the fervent claps and chants of the Tifosi, their energy a palpable force lifting me higher. The sea of red around the circuit was a sight to behold, with their flags waving, faces painted, the roar of their passion almost louder than the melody of the anthem.

This was my home, my people, and today, I was going to give them a race to remember.

After the final notes finished, I walked back to my car, in the first line of the grid, next to the navy blue Red Bull. No one was in front of me, the only car to beat was the Red Bull. I looked to the car behind it, the other red one of the grid, Charles’ car. I felt his eyes on me, and the only thing I did was put on my helmet and remember that today was my day, not his.

This is my race.

The formation lap felt like an eternity, each second stretching as I warmed up the tires, feeling the grip, the balance of the car. As we lined up on the grid once more, the tension was almost unbearable.

Five lights.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.

Lights out.

I launched off the line, my tires gripping perfectly as I sped towards the first chicane. Max had a strong start, but I was right on his tail, the slipstream pulling me closer. Behind me, I could feel Charles trying to find an opening, but I shut the door firmly at every opportunity.

Lap after lap, I pushed harder, feeling the car’s every response. I stayed within striking distance of Max, waiting for my chance. And then, halfway through the race, it came. Max made a slight error going into the Parabolica, his line not as clean as usual. It was all the invitation I needed.

I dived down the inside, my heart in my throat, and for a moment, we were side by side. But I had the better exit, my car flying past him down the main straight as the tifosi erupted in a deafening cheer. The lead was mine.

Now it was a matter of maintaining it. Every lap felt like a battle, not just with the track but with my own nerves. I could feel Charles gaining behind me, his pace relentless. But I focused forward, hitting every apex, every braking zone perfectly. The laps ticked down, and with each one, my confidence grew.

The final lap was a blur. I could feel the tears in my eyes, barely letting me see the track, but I kept driving, pushing and turning the wheel until I crossed the finish line. 

“Dafne Morelli, you are a race winner!”

I did it. I finally did it.

As I parked the car in the pit lane and got out of the car, I heard the roar of the crowd, all of them waving the Italian flag over their heads. I saw my team, all dressed in red and jumping, cham¡nting my name. I felt pats on my back and helmet, some drivers coming to congratulate me.

But I felt that gaze too, the one that always burned me alive whenever I won him.

And it felt so satisfying knowing that I won against Charles Leclerc.

taglist

@racinggirl @elisysd @alltoomaples @ssprayberrythings @rach3164 @yvonne-dump @deliciousfestsalad @janeh22 @hc-dutch @ninifee1802 @kakorrhaphiphobia @ssararuffoni @itsjustkhaos @scaramou @tapedeck-hearts @apollosfavkiddo @sltwins

[tollingreminiscentbells]

In the defense of bottom!Voldemort|Tom

I'm in a mood, so I've decided to break down my thoughts on this topic and I'm putting it in the tags for anyone who is interested. With a suitably melodramatic title.

The rules here are simple: if you know you won't like this, don't read it. If you read it anyway and don't like it, that is the definition of a you problem. Okay? Okay.

So let's talk about why I think it is incorrect and, frankly, offensive to claim that Voldemort|Tom bottoming is inherently out of character.

In order to have this conversation, we're actually having a bigger conversation about sex. Because that's really what this is about.

Something that has popped up in a handful of comments on my own fic is surprise that Voldemort wants to suck Harry's cock. Now, I'm going to be charitable and assume that the people who say things like this don't realize what they're implying. But the reality is that they are operating from the assumption that a man sucking another man's dick is, at least to some extent, weak and degrading. A subservient act.

This is both homophobic and factually untrue. A significant percentage of people who like dick also like giving blowjobs. It's an enjoyable, pleasurable thing to do. And even if the physical act of sucking cock doesn't turn someone on, there are so many other reasons to want to do it. Getting off on being the source of your partner's pleasure, for one example.

But let's move on to the elephant in the room: anal sex. Specifically, the act of being penetrated. The interesting thing about bottoming is that, contrary to what some people seem to believe, it's the more powerful position. Penetration is only happening because the person bottoming is granting permission. Even if that person has ceded total control of the encounter, the fact remains that they made that decision in the first place and could un-make it at any time.

If that agency does not exist, the sex is not truly consensual. Full stop.

Moreover, a strong, dominant personality =/= topping. There is no innate correlation. This is where misogyny really comes to the table. Bottoming seen as a feminine act, and femininity conflated with weakness and submission. Do I think (most) Tomarrymort readers are consciously thinking this way? No. But that doesn't mean the underlying bias isn't present.

There are so many ways penetrative sex can play out. Yes, you get the "classic" version of the person topping being dominant and the person bottoming being submissive. But you can also get topping from the bottom, where the dominant partner in every way is the person being fucked. Or maybe no one is taking a dominant role. Et cetera. This is a broad overview, not an exhaustive list.

Do you see what none of these things have? An assumption that topping=stereotypical masculinity and bottoming=stereotypical femininity. Even with a couple that likes playing with that flavor of gender roles, it's a choice they're making. And before someone willfully misunderstands me, there is nothing wrong with that choice. But don't mistake it for something it's not.

So now that we've clarified that being penetrated is not weak, degrading, or even inherently submissive, let's bring this back to Tomarrymort.

First of all, have you read the books? Voldemort is campy as shit. High drama and a surprisingly great sense of humor (his jokes are fucked up, but also pretty funny). He's not this hyper-masculine figure. On the flip side, Harry is not an effeminate man. He's a jock who will fight you.

So from whence comes this zealous dedication some people have to a fixed dynamic that puts Voldemort|Tom in the masculine role and Harry in the feminine role? Yes, we've established that sex positions are neither of those things, but we all know that's the assumption simmering toxically in the background.

I can't say for sure, but my instincts tell me that it comes from a shallow read of both characters. Voldemort is a powerful man who commands a terrorist organization. Harry is the good-hearted hero, defined by his capacity to love. And this can get twisted into Voldemort|Tom taking and Harry giving in a very reductive way. Even when the relationship is meant to be consensual.

Obviously, I don't think this is universal. I've read a lot of incredible takes on sex in this fandom, with different top/bottom/switching dynamics. And this is fanfiction, which means you can play with characterization to your heart's content. What I'm talking about is people insisting that Voldemort|Tom must top and Harry must bottom and anything else is wrong.

Why are you so adamant about that? Have you ever given it a moment's thought? If you prefer it, you prefer it, that's all fine. But when it morphs into claiming that bottom!Voldemort|Tom is out of character and bad, things have crossed over into the arena of the absurd. Like what you like, but be aware of what you're really saying when you talk about sex.

Not conflating bottoming with weakness and topping with strength would be a good starting point. Understand that there are myriad reasons a person might want to bottom. It can be a source of relief, allowing someone else to take control so you don't have to. It can be an act of manipulation. It can be a form of domination. And sometimes it's just because bottoming is what feels good and they have more fun that way. Or it's just the kind of pleasure they're in the mood for on a random Tuesday night.

No one is telling you to read things you don't enjoy. And no one is saying that fixed top/bottom dynamics don't exist in the real world. But it's ridiculous to apply a fixed dynamic to such a degree that you get upset when other people write something else and consider a fic "ruined" by it. You really should put some thought into your biases. It's good for you. But even if you don't, when you claim a sexual dynamic is inherently out of character, you're actually just wrong. So stop doing that. It will be a net gain for all of us, including you.

[bonefall]

Is Sandgorse still abusive in BB? If so does he still save Sparrow? Idk I think it'd be a neat thing for Talltail to brood on and move past once realizing the truth. Like just because your abuser did a "Good Thing tm" doesn't mean you have to forgive them or that all of a sudden it excuses their past a tion towards you.

Or did you remove this plot beat entirely? If so I don't blame you :P

Weird that Tumblr search isn't giving me all the stuff I tagged :/ hopefully after finals are done I can compile a 1st draft/The Story So Far for the rework of Tallstar’s Revenge

It's now called TALLSTAR’S COLLAPSE. It is actually a story I am rewriting with tragedy in mind. It's about Talltail fleeing WindClan with his starcrossed lover, Sparrow, only to eventually be drawn back to it where he becomes a perpetuator of all the things that made him leave.

To answer your question; Yes, and. Sandgorse is abusive and there's a LOT of nuance to this situation. I'm not sure if he still saves "Sparrow" though because I have waaaay more of a point in mind with Tallstar’s tumultuous relationship to him.

Summary of changes,

Tallstar's Collapse

Sparrow is the Clanmew name Jake takes when his group interacts with WindClan. His first language is actually a dialect of Townmew!

(Also Firestar has no known father in BB)

His group is nomadic. They go from place to place trading goods. I need a name for both them and their cultural "cluster" but in my head, Jake's family is the Algernauts because Algernon is the current leader

It's important the Algernauts are extremely endearing because leaving them is VERY painful

(and something i want to frame as the wrong choice for tallstar, emotionally)

WindClan is in a very sensitive period of its history. Before Tallstar was born, Heatherstar began the Mothermouth Moorland War, to take a very large parcel of land from ShadowClan. A good 1/5th of it.

Naturally this is a huge project and incredibly ambitious. Sacrifices Must Be Made

The sacrifice she has chosen to make is the death of tunneling. Because she's smothering it.

Tunneling is PEACEFUL, defensive at best. You can't dig them in a floodplain, they would be useless for holding the Mothermouth Moorland territory

Tallkit is born into a terrible position. Son of the head tunneler, mother in a terrible depression, and Heatherstar trying to pry a wedge between the "future" and the "past"

Im also planning to change his name. He was born Slowworm-Kit, which has a connotation of cleverness in Clanmew. To bully him, Shrewpaw calls him Wormtail, because Slowworms drop their tails if pulled. It means "you will get trapped in a cave-in, and when they pull your tail, it'll fall off"

But it doesn't translate well into English... so I'm not sure what his Heatherstar-given warrior name would be. Wormwing or Wormleap maybe, like he "defied fate" to become a wonderful moor-runner...

Or maybe the prefix is Drop? Droptail as the mean bully name and Dropflight as the warrior name...

Anyway, when he returns, Heatherstar welcomes back the extra claws and honors the lesson he learned with "Talltale." In Clanmew this is "Story-travelled," his leader name meaning "Tale-star."

Anyway. Back to the cat drama

Talltail (name pending) is in a tight spot. I kind of want to show everyone being a victim except Heatherstar herself, who has all the power in this situation.

Not that it excuses anyone

Sandgorse is watching something he loves dying, an ancient tradition passed down for generations. He is trying to force his son into a position he shouldn't HAVE to occupy, but his child is the one thing he might have any control over

(Until Tall breaks it ofc)

Tallpaw was just a kid. He needed to take out his bullying and the stress on something, and that was usually his mother and the concept of tunneling

Palebird has been completely neglected by her mate as he focuses on the person he WANTS his kid to be. She NAMED a Fading Kit, a serious social taboo, and even the support of the nursery and Woolytail can't pull her out before Tall's kithood is over

Heatherstar is using Tallpaw as a political pawn and Tallpaw is too young and hurt to realize it. He was given to her sister, Dawnstripe, and endlessly praised for his skill and talent in a time where he NEEDED positive feedback

Which is making his relationships with his parents worse

All the while, there's VIOLENCE. Regular raids and counterstrikes. Cats die and get injured, and it only escalates as Tall gets older and Cedarstar is reaching the end of his lives, hoping to end the conflict before then

And in all this chaos and uncertainty, there comes Sparrow.

Just a trader and an honored guest, there's been lots of these nomadic visitors since the time of Windstar herself, but they've become quite rare.

When Sandgorse dies suddenly in that collapse (TITLE DROP) Talltail has the push he finally needs. It's too much. He can't process this

Sparrow begs him to leave with them, they don't even need to confront anyone, just come!

IF IT SUCKS HIT DA BRICKS

I have tons of really nice little things planned for this part of the story. It's several chapters of Talltail being free.

He engages in the funeral rites of Wee Hen, asking if he may sit vigil for her. His new family is honored to allow it, Reena even tries to do it too and falls asleep

(Little sister energy)

They meet all sorts of people and go to many places. Talltail learns that the world is vast, and there's an endless amount of knowledge out here.

It all starts crashing down when him and Jake find a litter of abandoned kittens, and become parents.

They're a few moons old.. around the same age as his halfsibs back home.

It starts bringing back memories. He wonders how they're doing. If they made a nice grave for Sandgorse...

The sudden longing for his own mother strikes him like lightning.

For the first time in eons, he feels GUILT over leaving. He thought it was over-- he's living his own life now!

But what if they're hurt? What if there was a battle and he couldn't help? What if his mentor died and he didn't even know?

What kind of a horrible son doesn't even say goodbye?

The problems that made him leave seem so small now, and the homesickness is like acid leaking from his stomach, dissolving his guts and leaving him hollow

He's raising kits who will never know what it means to earn a title, or have a permanent home, or--

(Any of the other things he should have learned don't have meaning outside of clan culture. Things they wouldn't miss.)

He cherishes the memories he makes here, raising children with his mate, but something turns inside of Talltail. Like the groaning ache of a hundred stones on top of a decaying mineshaft

The REAL collapse is this. An existential crisis Talltail can't escape from.

And eventually, it comes tumbling down with one last, horrible nightmare.

In his dream, he came home only to find the sandy camp abandoned, the dens decrepit, full of musty scent and cobwebs.

Sandgorse was there. And they talked.

His dad was gruff as always, disappointed. But he didn't say anything the real Sandgorse would say.

The nightmare said, "You really did turn out like me. We both left your mother when she needed us. Turned our backs on our leader. And now we're both dead to WindClan."

Tall wakes up crying. Jake is there to comfort him, but the conversation they have is sad.

Jake tries to tell him that's all not true, and even if it WAS his dad, his dad sucked and would only say that to hurt him!

But... Tall can't believe it. Jake's right but also wrong. He IS all those horrible things.

And...... how can jake ever Understand? He does not know the Bonds of a Clan cat

(thought terminating cliche. Outsiders Cant Understand Our Bonds.)

He stays a few more days, but that nightmare was the end. And everyone sees the change.

The kits are apprentice-aged. He stayed until they would be old enough to keep up with the Algernauts.

And he says goodbye. He won't ever leave without saying goodbye ever again.

Jake says it doesn't have to be goodbye, he'll always love him, and they can visit! They can see each other again!

And Tall says yes. That this isn't the end. It's... see you later, my love.

(...but they both know how violent it's getting between Wind and Shadow. It isn't safe to visit.)

It is the end. But neither can admit it.

But after Tall is a fair distance away, one of his kits tackles him.

POSSIBLY Post-Tallstar's Collapse

Not sure if I'd put these in a novella or still make it part of it, but these are all directly related to the fallout of Tallstar's Collapse

Most likely is that there would be overlap between this and Brokenstar's Cataclysm, so the same events would be seen in different perspectives.

The kit's name is Fly. Tall has to wait for him to catch his breath and stop crying before they can talk.

Fly already lost parents before. He says he knows he can't make his dads stay together, "But PLEASE, papa, let me choose where I go this time!"

How could he say no? How could he send his son away after a plea like that?

He told him it would be hard. That he would be trained. That there would be dangerous fights.

Fly didn't care, he said he could be strong. He could do anything he needed to.

So... Tall took him to WindClan, where he became Flypaw. He became the warrior he promised he would be.

And Tall didn't notice how much the kid was changing until it was too late. Flytail took to it as if he was Clanborn-- but had to work twice as hard, fight thrice as viciously.

Though Talltail was graced with an Honor Title and open arms, he'd adopted his greatest rival.

Fly and Tall started competing for deputyship as soon as they finished training apprentices; Heatherstar had a fondness for the two of them.

In the end, Talltail won the spot by springing into action and saving Heatherstar's young nephew, a little golden tabby, from an adder.

Flytail continued as one of the more aggressive warriors in the Clan, surviving increasingly violent and bitter battles, until it came to a head in Heatherstar's Last Stand.

Her final battle as an old leader was a gruesome, definitive curbstomp in the last strategic point ShadowClan held above Carrionplace.

One of the losses was Lizardstripe-- neck snapped in Flytail's jaws.

Runningnose, and by extension, the oak-tree to his long-shadow, Brokentail, remembered this. Especially when Runningnose's father Mudfoot collapsed later that year.

As Talltail took leadership from the dying Heatherstar, a familiar regretful guilt wormed into his belly.

His son Flytail stood with a bloody mouth, eyes wet with sorrow, looking down at the leader Talltail once loved almost as much. Appreciating her sacrifice.

(secretly he didnt choose Deadfoot as his deputy just for his honor title or the battle move he invented... he chose him because there was a shocked, sorrowful look in his eyes at the fallen shadowclan cat. Sympathy seems more honorable in this moment.)

Tallstar is a wise leader... but his fatal flaw is naivety. How could he think he'd bring his son into WindClan, and not see the boy grow into a ferocious Warrior?

And naivety is what he displayed when he offered Raggedstar a peace deal. WindClan would keep the land, but they would pay a small tax of rabbits over the winter.

It was unprecedented. It was merciful. It was stupid.

When the winter was over, what would stop them from pushing further south?

Would they trade back the frogs and the flax, come summer?

On the blood and bones of so many warriors? As if giving up was ever an option?

Brokentail killed his father to prevent him from taking the deal, and reawakened Ripplestar's War Tactics.

BURN the peat. KILL the prey. OFFENSE is defense. A dead warrior is 10 less claws. A dead apprentice is 1 less warrior.

Stolen kittens are 1 more warrior on your own side.

Tallstar paid the ultimate price for letting Flytail follow him home that day. On the night of the massacre, Flytail went down fighting alongside a mate and a daughter. Dogpiled by Tangleburr and her squadron in revenge for Lizardstripe and Mudfoot.

Tallstar's granddaughter Stoneclaw, made a warrior and sitting for her vigil on that night, was the sole survivor of the little family.

The event stopped her from speaking again, like she's still sitting vigil.

Tallstar is a character who almost broke free of the control of the Clans. For a brief moment of his life, he was free.

He thought maybe he could change things a little, protect his Clanmates from the battles by being part of them, have the Mothermouth Moorland and protect the peace at the same time. But you CAN'T.

You can't fix broken systems without fundamentally changing them. He thought he could be a nice warlord and that would work on the Clan whose territory he had inherited. Power acts through people just as much as they act through power.

And that's Tallstar. He who travels the world, yet is never able to go far enough. Always falling just a little short of the point, believing that love and mercy is enough while blissfully ignorant of the pressures of pride and power.

Into this role, as a successor to this leader, Onestar is unwillingly thrust.

[written-in-flowers]

Appreciated: Wooyoung x Fem!reader

Pairing: Wooyoung x fem!reader

Genre: smut, fluff, tiny bit of angst, romance

Word Count: 9k

Summary: After helping a friend out of her toxic relationship, her situation makes you appreciate your boyfriends even more than before. When Wooyoung makes a specific request, you indulge him.

Disclaimer: These works are completely fictitious and for entertainment purposes only. They are not meant to reflect or label the members of ATEEZ in any way. The events within never took place. Thank you.

Tags: established relationship, polyamory, poly relationship, free-use fantasy, free-use kink, oral sex (f. receiving), breast play, nipple play, pet names, multiple positions, mentions of toxic relationships/toxic partners, sad but with a happy ending, talks of suicide but super brief and nothing happens, members being absolute angels and simps

Previously on Idol Companion

***

You didn't feel like going out tonight. After having dates with San, Mingi, Yeosang and Hongjoong, your energy bar ran low. You know this is one of the downsides to your job, and you should suck it up and get dressed. Wooyoung deserves as much attention as the rest of the group; you didn’t want him to think you didn’t like being with him. Most clients would pout or make a remark about you not being worth the time anyways. Then again, your boyfriends aren't like any clients you've had before. Sitting up from Wooyoung’s bed, all the tiredness you’d gotten from the day washed back over you. Your morning consisted of gym time with Yunho and Mingi, a few dance classes with your toddler group, running last minute errands and then lunch with friends. You’d come to Wooyoung’s apartment and crash onto his bed before he even came home. 

You knew Wooyoung won’t be bothered, but you couldn’t help feeling the anxiousness. You hated being the person who brought down their smiles or disappointed them. Leaving his bedroom, you found Wooyoung already standing in the kitchen with a can of soda in his hand. Long black strands pulled back from his face, Wooyoung wore a black shirt with matching shorts. Personally, you loved your boyfriends barefaced and casual. Something about their natural beauty attracted you, and you couldn’t help looking him up and down when you saw them. He lifted his eyebrows in acknowledgement and took a sip from his drink.

"I wanted to ask you something," you said, getting your own drink from the fridge. 

You noticed he’d paused, studying your expression before saying. "I do too, but I think we're thinking the same thing so you go first."

"Staying in for tonight?"

"Yes, please," he slumped against the counter, "I'm glad you asked. I really didn't feel like putting myself together and going out."

"Me neither," you leaned on the counter beside him. You popped open your drink, then took a few gulps of it before continuing, "I went to the movies with Yeosang last night. I went to the festival with Hongjoong the night before. I went to a concert with Mingi and San the night before that. I went to the gym, had some toddler dance classes, and then ran errands. I'm just…wiped out," you sighed deeply. "I'm sorry."

He smiled, "Don't be. Our schedule has been super crazy and dance practice ran longer today so I'm all bleh." He wrapped you in his arms, "Take out and a movie?”

“I’m tired of eating out,” you said, “I’ll cook something and we can pick a drama to watch or whatever.”

“You sure?” you felt his hand rub the small of your back, “I know how tired you are.”

“I can make something simple and quick.”

“Then, I’ll help,” he concluded. “I think there’s some meat leftovers we can finish, and we’ll cut up some veggies and rice? Simple and easy?”

“Alright.”

Wooyoung went looking for meat and vegetables in the fridge, while you poured a few cups of rice from a holder. You smiled softly to yourself at the relief of a night inside. Having eight boyfriends can be challenging at times. You realized early on that you’d bitten off more than you could chew with Ateez. You found yourself stretched thin from all the tour traveling, kpop conventions, fan sign events, dance practices, recording sessions, and group and solo dates. You lived with only Yunho and Yeosang, but you regularly drifted between the three apartments to be with all of them. It became a lot sometimes, but thankfully, they understood and helped lighten the load for you. Dumping the cups into the rice cooker’s pot, you began washing the rice out when your phone vibrated in your pocket. Busy cooking, you didn’t answer immediately. 

“Any show in particular you want to watch?” Wooyoung asked as he brought a package of meat to the island counter. You always let him cut and cook meat since he was better at it. Rice and vegetables are your expertise. “I saw this new zombie drama on Netflix. We could give that a try if you want.” 

“I don’t know about a zombie one,” you said, finishing with the rice and putting it to cook. “Everything is about freaking zombies nowadays. I want something different.” Putting the rice on, you grabbed the various vegetables Wooyoung brought to start washing them thoroughly. “There’s a drama about a woman who’s like a double agent for a mafia guy and the police. Mihee told me about it and she said it was good. If we hate it, we can just watch another one.”

Wooyoung stayed quiet for a moment, then said, “Nah. Sounds like something I need to pay attention to, and my brain is mush right now.” 

“Then maybe I should cut the meat,” you joked, bringing your vegetables and cutting board over to the island counter. “Your mushy brain might slip up.”

“And have you cut your finger again? I’m good,” he laughed. “I like my food to not have human blood in it.” 

He cut the meat into thin slices, while you carefully chopped the onions, carrots and celery. “We can try this boxer drama I saw,” he said, side eyeing you with a smirk, “As long as you don’t drool over the leads.”

You rolled your eyes, “I do not drool over the leads.”

“Yes, you do,” he laughed, starting to season the meat on the cutting board. “I remember how obsessed you became with Lee Dohyun when we watched Sweet Home together. Then you did it again with Wi Jahoon after Squid Games. You watched everything you could find and got all excited when your friend told you she went on a date with Dohyun.” 

“I couldn’t believe it!” you exclaimed. “I didn’t see him as being the type for that kind of service. She was so lucky.”

“Hey,” Wooyoung said, offended. He took the meat from the counter to the stove, putting oil into a pan. “I’m right here, you know.”

You giggled when he poked your side, and then you gave an apology peck. “Oh, you know I’m all yours.”

Your phone buzzed in your pocket a second time, and you wiped your hands to at least see who called. Expecting your mother’s number, a pit of worry settled in your stomach when you saw the actual name. ‘Mihee’. Wooyoung focused on cooking the meat, so you answered her call. 

“Mihee-ah, what’s up?” you asked, making sure not to sound worried right off the bat. 

“YN-unnie,” you heard her soft-spoken voice squeak your name, and you frowned, “I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

“What happened now, honey?” you kept your concern in your voice. “What’s wrong?”

“I just can’t handle this anymore. It’s too much,” she sobbed. “They’re so…I can’t be here anymore.”

“What did they do?” 

Lee Mihee, a short woman with bright eyes and a friendly smile, came up in the Companion industry beside you. Always bubbly and full of life, clients often noted her way of brightening up their day. She’d gotten into dating groups like you did, and did very well since she could mold herself to fit any personality. However, while you had ATEEZ, who were angels, she’d gotten with Galax1. You’d met them a handful of times at music bank shows and conventions and their vibe immediately threw you off. They’d been kind enough at first, since they doted and praised Mihee often, but from what she’s told you things changed over time. 

“Today was Chulsoon’s birthday,” she began, taking deep breaths to keep her voice steady, “And we all were going to go out for dinner.”

The name alone made you clench your jaw. Chulsoon was Galax1’s visual and main vocalist. A soft, fair-skinny boy with wide eyes and an angelic voice, he is the Yeosang equivalent. Except Yeosang is a real fairy prince, whereas Chulsoon is a goblin in disguise. He never fails to make a disparaging remark about Mihee, usually in a nonchalant tone. You nearly threw a shoe at him when he told Mihee she should lose some weight, since her dress was tight in the middle. 

“Yeseo was coming with us.”

You groaned at the mention of her name. It isn’t uncommon for groups to bring in more partners as they progress in their career. You knew groups that had three or four of them. However, the normal procedure is discussing a new partner with the group’s current partner. Mihee told you that Galax1 did not do that. They brought Yeseo home after a single meeting, and told Mihee that she’d be living with them. No discussion. No contract alterations. You advised her to go to the agency and renegotiate her contract, since they did not tell her they’d be adding a new girlfriend. However, you guessed she never did this due to the group’s leader talking her out of it. This situation might’ve been okay if Yeseo actually got along with Mihee, who is now the group’s Main Partner. Mihee told you she did not. She was spoiled, entitled, and demanded all the attention. 

“And she made a mess of things and embarrassed you?” you guessed ahead, dumping the vegetables into an oiled pan. Wooyoung scrunched his nose in a question, and you mouthed ‘Mihee’, which made him nod and continue cooking. 

“No, no, not that,” she said. “I get dressed to go to the restaurant with everyone, and Chulsoon sees me and-and says that I look too pretty and need to change because this is supposed to be Yeseo’s night. His parents are going to be there, and he wants to introduce them to her.”

Your jaw dropped, “He actually said that to you?”

“He-He did,” she replied in a sob. 

“Don’t tell me you actually changed?”

“I did. I didn’t want to ruin his birthday and Kwangmin told me that Chiwon’s mom was looking forward to seeing me.”

“Let me guess: Chiwon’s mom never said that?”

“No!”

Kwangmin was Galax1’s comedian who likes making jokes and is their mood-maker. Another skinny man with a dimpled smile, fans adored their ‘sunshine boy’. Little do they know, sometimes his “pranks” went too far and could be downright hurtful. Sadly, Mihee is usually his target. You hadn’t forgotten the time he’d pantsed her in public, her face beet red and tearful as the embarrassment filled her insides. Nor the time when he purposefully ruined her birthday party video by replacing all the nice photos with terribly altered ones. Each time he claimed it was a ‘joke’, but nobody was laughing. 

“I felt so stupid and humiliated,” she sobbed. “I almost did not go to the restaurant, but I’d already gotten dressed, so I went anyway. When I was…When I was…” you heard her take deep breaths. 

“When you did what?”

“When I was in the car, Yeseo kept complaining that I still looked too pretty and that she didn’t want me there,” she said. “She said me crying was just going to draw all the attention away from her.” 

“Ugh, that bitch.” You felt like going to their dorm and smacking the insipid bitch. “What happened then?”

“Chiwon told me to stop being a cry baby, and that not everything is about me.” 

Kwang Chiwon. You’d consider the group’s leader your worst enemy if you actually cared about him. In front of fans and cameras, he’s a hard working artist who cares about his younger members. Off camera, he proved to be a different guy; he tended to be Mihee’s worst tormentor. He could cut her down with a single remark. He’d break her things, then blame her for making him so mad that he did it. He never showed concern or care for her. You could tell how much he truly disliked Mihee. You guessed the Companion idea was not his doing, but his managers or his members. His cruelty hurt the most because Mihee had loved him the hardest. 

“I stayed in the car for a bit to calm myself down, but when I got inside the restaurant,” you heard her take more deep breaths before bursting into tears again. 

“Babe, babe, calm down and breathe, okay? Just breathe. Just breathe in and out.” You heard her breathing shakily, and she continued. 

“The host says my name isn’t on their party list and I couldn’t go inside.” 

“What?”

“Yeah, he said that it wasn’t there and I wasn’t allowed to go inside with them.”

“They did that shit on purpose,” you seethed, anger distracting you from the vegetables you’d put in the pan. Quickly, you put them into a plate before they burn up. “They never planned on you sitting with them. They did it to humiliate you, again. Mihee-ah, why do you stay with them? You can get out of your contract easily.”

“I can’t.”

“What do you mean ‘you can’t?”

“I don’t make enough from them to leave. They’re not as popular as your boyfriends. They don’t make a lot of money yet,” she said. 

A Companion’s pay is usually determined by the group’s budget. Since your boys make millions, you can live comfortably on your own, if you wish. Galax1 did not do so well. Hardly anybody really knew who they were, and you’re glad that karma turned back on them. 

“It’s so horrible here,” she sobbed. “They never think about me anymore. They make food, and if I’m not there with them, they don’t make enough for me.” 

This made you pause over your current meal. A meal you’re cooking with your loving boyfriend Wooyoung, who always made sure you ate well. You couldn’t picture them ever leaving you out of anything. Yeosang is incapable of being mean, and Yunho is too caring. Hongjoong, above them all, takes care of you as much as possible. 

“And I never told you about the time Kenny grabbed my arm hard and left a bruise.”

Kenny. The group’s ‘muscle pig’. You’d seen his muscles, and imagined him being capable of that. 

“They used to be so nice to me. I…I don’t know what I did wrong. I don’t know what happened.”

“You didn’t do anything. They’re the assholes. They’ve taken advantage of you too many times.”

You could never see Jongho making jokes at your expense, or San using his strength to physically harm you. 

“We used to all be so happy. I remember when Chulsoon used to make me pancakes after our date nights, and when Chiwon would let me sit in his studio with him to listen to his songs,” she lamented. “Kenny used to sing me to sleep when I had nightmares, and would take me out for coffee after our gym sessions. He doesn’t even want me going with him anymore. I don’t know what I did, Unnie. I don’t know where I went wrong or why they stopped caring about me. Everything is always my fault even when it’s not. I’m always the bad guy, the one in the wrong, the asshole. They hardly notice me or talk to me some days. They’re more concerned with their new pet than they are with me.”

“Then leave them and let her deal with their bullshit,” you told her. 

“Maybe I should terminate my contract.”

The words shocked you beyond belief. All thoughts of your night with Wooyoung went out the window in a single sentence. 

“No, Mihee-ah,” you said firmly. “Don’t say things like that.”

“It’s not like anyone would care!” she cried. 

“That’s not true, Mihee, and you know that. So many people would care,” you replied with a plea. “I’d care. Saehee, Jihye, and Sumi would care. Your parents and grandparents would care. Your sisters, who adore you, would care. Don’t say things like that.”

“It’s the only way I can get out!” 

“No, it is not.”

“I can’t afford to leave. My contract isn’t up for another year. I…I have to do it.”

“No, you do not,” you told her. 

There are only two ways a Companion can get out of their contract without paying: they’re dignosed with a terminal illness or they try committing suicide. You’d heard of Companions ending up in hospitals because they tried ending their lives. A few of them actually succeeded. The idea of Mihee, sweet and gentle Mihee who never hurt anyone, doing something like that brought tears to your eyes. 

“Where are you?” you asked her. “Mihee-ah, where are you?”

“I walked back home. I couldn’t stay there. I didn’t want them to come out and find me,” she said. “It hurt so much. Everything they do hurts. It’s like they don’t want me around. They treat me like I’m a nuisance to them…I’m a punching bag when they’re mad. I’m a joke to them.”

“There are other ways to get out of your situation, Mihee.” 

“How?!” 

As you stayed on the phone with Mihee, you texted another friend of yours: Jihye. She lived closer to Mihee, and would get to her faster than you could. 

You: MIHEE WANTS TO TERMINATE!! 

Jihye-babe: OMG WHERE IS SHE??

You: at her place. I’m trying to talk her down now. I’m too far away to get there in time.

Jihye-babe: omw don’t worry

“You can go to the agency dorms and get a room,” you said, “And tomorrow we’ll go Sungmi and she’ll find a way to help you out. They should have records from your medical appointments. If you tell the therapist what you’re thinking of doing-”

“-I haven’t been going to my appointments.”

“Why not?”

“Chiwon says I don’t need to go. He says I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. Mihee, please,” you sniffled. “Jihye is on her way to you.”

Mihee continued crying, and hearing her cries broke your heart further. Several awful visions went through your head as you listened. Not Mihee. You texted Sungmi, your agent. You told her everything Mihee said, and her response relieved you. 

Sungmi: I will get her a room in the residency building, and send someone to go pick her up. Jihye will be there?

You: Yes, she’ll be there. She can’t afford the fees right now, though. 

Sungmi: I’ll waive the dorm fees for now. I’ll arrange a payment plan with the bursar’s office tomorrow morning.

You: Thank you, Sungmi. 

“Sungmi is sending a van to come pick you up,” you told Mihee. “You can stay there for a while.”

“I can’t pay.”

“She’ll work that out later. We want you to be safe, babe. You’re going to be okay,” you comforted her. 

You felt so helpless. You felt useless. 

“They’ll come get me back anyways,” she sniffled. “They won’t let me go.”

“The agency will make them let you go.”

If there is one authority who could stop this, it’d be your agency. You’d joined The Eden Agency years ago when you saw their dedication to taking care of their employees and workers. You knew all the stipulations and restrictions they put into their contract clauses to keep everyone safe and happy. You couldn’t believe Galax1 somehow made it under the radar this long. Your hands clenched into fists as you stayed on the phone with Mihee, who gradually calmed down until you heard Jihye in the dorm. The savory scents of the food you’d cooked did not penetrate through your anger. How could they do this to her? You couldn’t fathom why someone would do this to a person they claimed to love.

“The van’s here,” Jihye’s voice came through Mihee’s phone. “I’ll go with her to make sure she’s settled in okay.”

“Keep me updated, yeah?”

“Totally.” She gave a sigh, “I can’t believe those assholes. Saehee and Sumi are gonna meet us at the agency. When can you be here?”

“In an hour,” you said, putting the vegetables on the counter with a concerned Wooyoung. “I’ll bring some food for her. She’ll be hungry and the cafeteria will be closed.”

“Good idea. I got a bottle of soju in my purse.”

You didn’t laugh, though you wanted to. “I’ll be there soon.”

“Alright, cool. See ya.”

Both of you hung up, and suddenly you did not feel hungry anymore. Wooyoung stood on the other side of the counter now, chopsticks in his hand as he picked up a bit of meat to put in a perilla leaf. 

“What’s wrong with Mihee?” he asked, with concern on his face. 

“She…” you couldn’t bring yourself to say it out loud. You felt as if saying it might embarrass Mihee. “She had a big fight with Chiwon, and he said a bunch of nasty things to her.” You picked up your own chopsticks, but only picked at the cooked vegetable sides. “She was having a panic attack, so I texted Jihye and Sungmi. She can’t keep living with them. They’re so terrible to her, and that new girlfriend of theirs is no help either.”

“I can’t believe she stayed with them this long,” Wooyoung told you after chewing his food. “I remember doing Kingdom with those guys, and they were so rude. They hated each other, and were hard to work with.” He snorted, “You should’ve heard the way they talked about you when you told that Kenny guy off.”

Yes, you remembered Kingdom. You also remembered Mihee doing her best to keep the six idiots happy. “What did they say?”

“He’d told San that we should keep a leash on our woman,” he snickered, “And that if we put your mouth to good use, it wouldn’t gab so much.”

You groaned, “Ugh, they’re so gross. What did you say?”

“San almost kicked his ass,” he said, eating his meat and leaf. “Hongjoong-hyung told him it wasn’t worth it and took him away.” He shook his head, “I felt bad for her. If they talk badly about other women, I can’t imagine the things they say about her.” 

“They’re so mean to her,” you told him. You picked at a bit of meat and rice, but barely tasted it. Your worry for Mihee ruined any taste you might’ve enjoyed. “I don’t know why a group would keep a Companion they obviously don’t care about anymore.”

You did, but you felt disgusted saying it in the open. So Wooyoung said it for you. 

“Because they want a free cook and maid,” he said, eating one of the sides you made with rice. “I’m sure they can be charming when they’re horny and want a quick fuck from her too.”

“Gosh, don’t say that. I don’t want to think about what that’s like for her.” You ate from each dish sparingly, “I don’t know what I’d do if you guys started treating me that way.”

“I do.”

“Oh?”

“You’d kick our asses,” he smirked and laughed before sipping from his Coke can. “We’d never fall out of love with you, babe. You’re stuck with us whether you like it or not.”

You smiled, “Even if I wanted to leave tomorrow?”

“Even then. I’d spend the rest of my life trying to win you back if you did that.” 

You believed him. Out of all the members, Wooyoung took to you the quickest and easiest. Yeosang joked he skipped a few steps in becoming friends with someone, since by the next time you saw him, he already kissed your cheek and called you ‘love’. You told Yeosang that Wooyoung is simply an affectionate person who likes talking to people. When their debut came and Wooyoung could put his name on your contract, he became the most physically affectionate of them all. It’d been his opinion you trusted whenever you met a new person, since he picked up on vibes and moods fairly quickly. 

“So, I’m assuming drama night is being postponed?” He did not say this in a disappointed voice, but a playful one. 

“At least for a little while,” you winced. “I’m sorry, Woo.” 

“It’s okay. I’m not mad,” he assured you. “Mihee is one of your closest friends, and she needs you right now. I’ll be here when you come back.” He stood up to grab an empty food container, “Take her some food so she’s not hungry. Home cooked food is the best when you’re feeling down.”

You gave his cheek a kiss, then began packing food and snacks for Mihee while he cleaned. When you finished, you turned to see him by the sink. Everything paused all of a sudden. Mihee spends portions of her day cooking for her “boyfriends” and is then left to clean it all up. Your boyfriends never let you do anything on your own. Every time you cooked, one of them offered to help as best as possible, even if it was being Designated Food Taster. They might talk over who cleans up afterwards, but they never bring your name into it, especially if you’re the one who cooked. You couldn’t imagine any of them treating you how Galax1 treated Mihee. 

“Wooyoungie,” you called him, “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything, angel.”

‘Angel’. A name so commonly given to you. What did Galax1 call Mihee? “If we all went out somewhere fancy together, would you make sure my name was on the list?”

“Psh, of course,” he put the last of the dishes in the dishwasher, “We’d make sure your name is the first on it.”

“And would you ever tell me to change my clothes because you didn’t want me to deflect attention from someone else?”

“No,” he squeezed some detergent into the washer, then said, “Is this about Mihee?”

“Yes.” 

“YN,” he closed the door and turned it on, “Never in a million years would we treat you that way. In fact,” he walked over to you and held you in his arms, “We do our best to put your happiness first. It only works out that you’re always doing the same for us.” He kissed you softly, then said, “I love you, YN. Not just because the sex is incredible and you’re insanely gorgeous either,” you both laughed together. “But, you’re a kind, compassionate, empathetic person who would drop all her plans to go help a friend who needs her.” He gently rubbed your arms, scanning over your features, “I’d never do anything to intentionally hurt you, you know that. I can’t believe you’re even asking these questions.” He kissed you again, and said, “I’ll be here when you get back.”

Hearing him say this warmed your heart, but also made it hurt for Mihee more. If anyone deserved to be happy, it was her. You slipped from his arms to grab your bag from the couch, and left out the door. 

Not before Wooyoung reminded you to take a jacket. 

***

They’d put Mihee in a room by the time you arrived at your agency building. The resident rooms are meant for the freelance Companions who only go on dates. Much like a university dorm, it came with a bed, desk, dresser, and a communal bathroom down the hall. With the cafeteria giving three meals a day, Companions could also get discounts at the agency cafe and on their health checkups. You’d enjoyed living there, since it brought you closer to people who did what you do and it helped you out during rough times. It’s why it’d been your first choice when considering refuge for Mihee, who’d been too distraught to think straight. Unfortunately, the dorm came with a fee that they’d take from every check you received. A fee Mihee could not afford immediately. 

“I’ll work something out with the bursar's office,” Sungmi told her as she settled into her new room. “You stay here and rest for a few days, alright? You’re in a safe space now.”

“Th-thank you, Sungmi-unnie.” 

Sungmi gave her a tight hug, patted her head, and said goodbye to you and the others. Jihye, tall with long blond hair, waited until Sungmi left to open her purse. “I brought soju,” she smirked, “We could all use a drink. You, especially,” she told Mihee and began searching for complimentary cups. 

“Have they contacted you at all?” Saehee, short and round-faced with a brown bob hair cut, took a seat on the bed beside Mihee. 

Mihee still wore the shimmery lavender dress she planned on wearing to the dinner. Her tears smudged most of her makeup, and her lip tint wore off and left her lip liner still there. You hated seeing her this way. You pulled out the makeup wipes you kept in your purse, and gave it to her to clean herself off. 

“No,” she shook her head, her voice still thick from sobs, as she pulled out a wipe, “I texted Chiwon, but he…”

“Left you on read?” Sumi asked reproachfully. She took a soju cup from Jihye. Sumin, tanned with medium length black hair, stood wearing her gym clothes still. Out of the five of you, Sumi worked out the most. “Ugh, he’s so disgusting. I don’t know why you’re so bummed. He’s not even that cute or that successful. I won’t be surprised if their group doesn’t disband in a year or so.”

“They embarrassed themselves with that last comeback,” Jihye snickered, handing you and Saehee a cup. You didn’t drink it. You didn’t think you could stomach anything else. “Like, that song of theirs. What was it called? ‘Dick Me Way’?”

You stifled a laugh, “I think it was called ‘Milky Way’.”

“Psh, could’ve fooled me. It did not sound like they were saying ‘Milky Way’.”

“I thought they might at least be curious as to where I went,” Mihee said to you. “They might not care, but I thought at least Josh would text me. He was always decent towards me.”

“Fuck Josh,” said Saehee, who downed her soju shot immediately. “He’s a dick too. I don’t care how nice he was to you. He still lets them treat you like garbage.”

You unpacked the food you’d brought for everyone to pick at while they talked. Mihee started extolling tales about the things her partners did off screen: how they preferred Yeseo over her, the mean remarks they made about her appearance, how angry they’d get if she made a mistake. It upset you far too much to keep on eating. You thought about what Wooyoung told you about your happiness being their first priority. If they commented on your appearance, it was out of concern and not maliciousness. 

Chiwon told Mihee she ate too much. Yunho would tell you that you didn’t eat enough sometimes, often bringing you snacks during shoots or water when he saw you didn’t drink enough. 

Kwangmin once gave Mihee an empty Gucci box as a present. Hongjoong took you to a fashion show where he made sure the designer had clothes for you to wear too. You’ll never forget his face when he saw you in the final outfit. 

Kenny once told her that she’d have to pay her own way to go with them on tour. Seonghwa always made sure you were included in tour plans because he didn’t want to leave you behind. You never paid a single cent. 

Her boyfriends did not care where she went, what she did or who she did it with. She texted their group chat hours ago, and none of them responded. If you go too long without contact, at least three or four of them will call to check on you. Mihee told you that they rarely spent time with her anymore. Your boyfriends would rather be with you than anywhere else. Mihee’s stories made every complaint you’ve ever made about your boyfriends miniscule and childish. So what if Yunho played games until late into the night? So what if Yeosang was a messy eater or Jongho did not always pick up after himself? They adored you. They loved you. They’d do anything you asked of them, and if they could not, they’d find a way to make you happy. You wished Mihee would find someone like them. 

You stayed with the girls in Mihee’s dorm until eleven o’clock when visiting hours ended. You put leftovers in Mihee’s mini fridge, kissed the top of her head and hugged her tightly. 

“Thank you, YN-unnie,” she said into your shoulder, her voice muffled by your jacket. “If you hadn’t done this for me…I don’t think I’d be here right now.” 

This made you hug her tighter. “I’ll come by tomorrow around two and we can go to your place together to get your stuff, okay? Get some rest.”

“I will,” she nodded.

With one last cheek kiss, you left Mihee’s room and met with Jihye and the others down the hall. In the elevator, she said, “Good on you to text me. When you told me she talked about ‘terminating…” she visibly shuddered, “I almost had a panic attack.”

“I was worried she might’ve already done it,” said Saehee, crossing her arms nervously. “I felt super sick thinking about it.”

“Me too,” Sumi agreed. “Is it messed up that it made me think about my own relationship? Like, I can’t see Yongbok or Changbin ever being cruel to me like that.”

“I don’t think so,” Saehee told her. “When she told me about Kenny almost hitting her once, I thought about Seokjin and how he can be sometimes. We might get into arguments, but he’d never try to hurt me or make me cry just to feel like he won.” 

“It makes me realize how lucky I am,” you said quietly as the elevator reached the bottom floor. “Yeah, it’s tough juggling eight guys on my own, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything else in the world.”

“Yeah, me too.” 

The four of you walked Saehee home first and then Sumi. Jihye went with you to the train station where you waited for the train to take you home. 

“Do you think Mihee will be okay?” asked Jihye. “I mean, they’re the first group she’s ever dated and she was so in love with them. What if they try to get her back or she can’t get out of her contract?”

“Sungmi will fix that,” you assured her. “If anything, I’ll pitch in some money to help her out. I’m sure Saehee will too, since her boyfriends are such big superstars now.”

“I’ll hand some over,” Jihye said. “I happen to know some cute clients who are into girls like Mihee, so if she ever has trouble getting on her feet again, I can slip their names to Sungmi.” 

You nodded at her suggestion, and put your hands in your pockets. “I just want her to be happy and safe. She deserves that.”

“She really does.” 

When the train arrived, you hugged her goodbye and went onboard. On the way home, you checked your phone for the first time since seeing Mihee. As expected, Wooyoung was the first to message you. 

WooWoo 🦊: Are you on your way home soon? It’s getting late. 

You: I’m on the train now. We lost track of time. 

You took a train selfie to appease him, but also because he’d ask for one anyways. 

WooWoo 🦊: Beautiful 😍 is she okay now?

You: Yeah, she’s settled into the dorm and I told her we’d go get more of her stuff tomorrow afternoon. Jihye only got the essentials, but she needs more clothes and stuff. 

WooWoo 🦊: I’m glad. I like Mihee. She’s sweet. Now, get home quickly. I have a surprise for you. 

This message prompted you to go into the group chat you shared with all the members. You mainly used it to discuss group dates or to idly talk about your days as a whole. Anything you had to tell them, you sent it there. As the train stopped at another station, you started typing:

You: My friend Mihee’s staying at the residency dorms at my agency because she talked about killing herself. She told me tonight all about how awful her boyfriends are to her and the terrible things they’ve done. It’s so disgusting it makes me sick. I feel so sorry for my friend because she’s a lovely person and very special to me, but her situation has made me realize how lucky I am. 

Tears started brimming your eyes as you continued. 

You: since the day we met, you’ve been nothing but good to me. Even when you had nothing to offer me, you still did your best to make me happy. You give me so much freedom, which a lot of Companions don’t always have. You don’t keep me on a strict diet. You don’t tell me what I can and can’t wear. You include me in everything you do, and never make me feel left out or unimportant. You never push past my boundaries and respect my privacy and space. When I’m with any of you, I feel safe. I know you’d never do anything to hurt me, and if you accidentally do, you make up for it and apologize. I feel special and beautiful and important when I’m with you. I love each of you so much, and I hope we’re together forever. 

The messages poured a few minutes after you wrote this. 

My Bear 🐻: you know we’d do anything for you, angel. You’re such a special person to me, I couldn’t live my life without you now that I have you. 

Yuyu 🐶: The last thing I’d ever do is hurt you. I love you too, baby ♥️

Hwa 🐰: why would I not include you in everything? You’re my angel, baby. 

Prince Yeosang 👑: I always want to be a person you feel safe with. I know you have your bad days, and I want to be someone who uplifts you. I love you, my princess ♥️♥️

Choi ⛰️: Noooo now I’m crying!! I love you so much, angel. I want us to be together forever too. 

Mingi 🦁: I love you too, angel. You’re the first person I think of when I’m down, because you know how to make me feel better. I don’t ever want to be without you ♥️

Choi ⛰️: we were so nervous when we first met you kekeke 

Joongie 🐱: you know I love you more than the air in my lungs. I could never hurt you, because hurting you would be like hurting myself. You’re a part of me. 

Hwa 🐰: waaaahhh hongjoong putting us all to shame!!

The one person who didn’t answer in the chat texted you privately instead. 

WooWoo 🦊: I’m sorry about your friend. I hope she is okay now. I saw what you put in the chat and I wanted to tell you something: 

WooWoo 🦊 : There was this book quote I read once that really stuck with me. “He is more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same”. It stuck with me because that’s how I feel about you, YN. I feel like if we met in a different lifetime, you and I would still fall in love because we’re the same. It’s why you’re in every music video, because we’d love you in every universe. I love you, YLN YN. I love love love love love you. Come home soon. I miss you. 

You wiped the tears trickling down your cheek as you reread their messages. San recounted the night you’d all met. 

Two weeks before their debut, the boys’ schedule was packed with dance practice, studio recordings, promoting themselves, singing and rapping lessons. They did not have much free time, but management set up a date between you and them. You’d been going through financial troubles from your previous relationship, which left you desperate for a good gig. While going on random dates helped in the short term, it was contracts Companions typically sought out. You decided on a trial-run with an eight-member group to see how things went, and if it worked out, you’d sign a contract with them. A one-year contract where you’d be the sole girlfriend sounded promising. You’d handled groups before now, and a year-long contract is a reasonable starting point; you worked out anything longer after a few dates. You’d seen photos and videos of ATEEZ that KQ sent you, since it’s only fair you see what they looked like. The ‘99 line had all been 18 or 19, and Jongho turned 18 right before then. Only Seonghwa and Hongjoong could be actual romantic partners for you. They’d been so young back then, you realized as the train passed another station. They’d seemed harmless enough, and you really needed a good job. 

You never expected to be with them this long. But, when you met them at the barbeque restaurant that night, you really enjoyed their general vibe. You saw their close-knit brotherhood right away, and the genuine care they had for one another. It was something you noticed in groups from smaller companies; they worked and lived together, which built up a natural love for one another. That love soon stretched over to you. Smiling to yourself, you recalled how shy they’d been around you that night. Wooyoung, Mingi, San, and Yunho did a majority of the talking despite their nerves. The other members revealed later on you’d been much prettier in person, and it intimidated them. 

Walking home from the train station, you thought about those days fondly. You’d often meet up with them at the Han River, where you’d go riding bikes and eating street food together in the spring. They didn’t have much money to spend on you, but that didn’t matter to you. Their company soon became enough for you. You remembered a night when you went to eat after dance practice, and you’d sat specifically with Yeosang because he thought you wouldn’t be interested in him. Shy and anxious, you managed to get him to open up to you like a clam, and his shyness melted away. Once, you went to a convenience store with San and Wooyoung after everyone went to sleep. The three of you played hide and seek down the street. 

It’d been under a street light on the corner that Wooyoung kissed you for the first time. 

“Wooyoung, I’m back,” you said into the apartment, knowing well Jongho is too busy gaming and Hongjoong is likely still in his studio. 

He appeared from his bedroom, smiling at the sight of you. He kissed you as easily as he’d kissed you that night on the street. Wooyoung had taken you gently by the waist, bringing you to him and kissing you passionately.

“Glad you’re home,” he said, taking your bag to put on the hook while you slipped out of your shoes. “I have a surprise for you.”

“As you said in your text,” you replied. You couldn’t help the nostalgic feeling inside your chest. Looking at the man in front of you, it dawned on you how much he’d grown up. “Where is it?” you asked him, getting into your house slippers. 

“Come with me.”

He took your hand and led you to his bedroom. You gasped when you saw what he’d done to his bed. Having taken one of his plain white sheets, he’d tied a string across the top so it created a canopy, then placed fake electric candles around his bed to add light. Blankets from the couch outside, plus several plush pillows added more comfort to his large bed. A laptop plugged into the wall sat on a tray with snacks and drinks in a cooler next to the bed. A blanket fort. 

"Wooyoung-ah," you smiled at his setup, "This is so cute."

"What you said got me thinking about our first time together," he said, bringing you to him as he closed the door. "When we made that pillow fort to watch movies and then we…got all hot and bothered?"

You noticed the seductive tone in his voice and let him kiss you. "Well, if I remember correctly, you were the hot one. I was perfectly fine with hanging out."

"I couldn't help it," he said, bringing you over to the bed where he let you climb on top of him. You mounted his hips, deepening the kiss as you remembered the first time. "You felt so nice against me like this," he gently pushed his hips into yours, "I really wanted to wait for a more romantic moment, but I couldn't wait anymore. And…" he pecked your lips as his hands went down your body, "It isn't like you tried stopping me." 

"Maybe I didn't want you to," you sneered, starting to grind into him. "I meant what I said though," you said, "It really makes me appreciate how good you are to me." A thought then occurred to you, "I wish there was a way I can show my appreciation for you."

Wooyoung picked up on it right away, holding you by the waist as he rolled you on your back. In between your legs, you could feel him right up against your center. His shorts made it much easier to feel him through them, and you couldn't resist grinding into him. Suddenly, Wooyoung drowned all your senses. The fresh scent of his shampoo still clung to his black strands, and to the smooth, supple skin under his shirt. His body heat warmed you against the chill seeping through the nearby windows. Your love for Jung Wooyoung blossomed the night he kissed you under that light. It flourished when you both made love in his blanket fort, soft and passionate and completely wrapped up in one another. Your hands stayed at his shoulders, the bones and muscles tensing under your touch before flexing against it. Everything became Wooyoung. Like the very first time, the small enclosure he created turned the world into one for two.

“There’s something I’ve always wanted to try,” he said, pressing his lips to your neck while your hands slipped under his shirt. “If you’re into trying new stuff tonight, that is.”

“I’ll do whatever you like,” you smiled, gyrating into him slowly so he groaned against your neck. “You’re always thinking of me when we do it. I think it’s only fair that I do things you like too.”

“I want you to watch TV while I fuck you.”

“What?”

“I saw this porn video the other night where the girl watched TV while the guy fucked her,” he explained, “And it was so hot. I want to try it with you.”

Free use. That is what he was talking about: partners having sex even if the other partner isn’t particularly horny. It’s in a consensual way, of course. “Oh?” you smiled, “But does it really count if I’m horny too?”

“You can pretend not to be,” he said. 

You considered it for a moment, then said, “Okay. I’ll give it a shot.” 

Wooyoung beamed and kissed you. He dragged the bed tray beside you, then put on a random movie he knew you liked. You supposed you’d simply lay there and let him do what he wanted while you focused on the movie. Spreading yourself out a bit more, Wooyoung laid on top of you as he kissed down your throat to the neckline of your shirt. The movie’s beginning credits started rolling right as he slid your shirt over your chest, and pulled your bra down under them. You tried keeping back the gasp when his warm mouth touched your skin, a wet tongue immediately circling your nipple. He kept your arms by your head as he flicked his tongue over each one, and you forced yourself to not grind into him. The tip grazed across the hard peaks once or twice before he suckled on them, a low groan emitting from his throat. You tried focusing on the film, a horror movie you enjoyed so you had something distracting you from the pleasure. But, it only just barely worked. As you watched young Drew Barrymore answer the phone while making popcorn, Wooyoung slid further down your body. 

You shifted around to let him pull down your leggings completely, leaving you in your panties and socks. When you felt him sliding off your panties next, you nearly gasped. He lifted your knees up to your stomach and started lightly swatting his tongue on your sex. You clutched the sheets, forcing yourself to focus on the teenage girl panicking as a killer plays cat-and-mouse with her. How did porn stars do this? Once you felt the flat of his tongue gingerly lick your pussy open, you moaned softly to yourself. Part of the free-use kink is that the other partner doesn’t react, but damn, Wooyoung’s mouth worked you so easily. So easily, in fact, you should be ashamed of it. Keeping hold of your thighs, Wooyoung focused his attention on the center of your clit where he rolled the tip around several times. 

“Name the killer in Friday the 13th,” said the killer on screen.

“Jason!”

‘No, you moron. It was his mom…’ you couldn’t help thinking. 

Right as Drew Barrymore is freaking out over her dead boyfriend, Wooyoung reached into his bedside drawer for something. You thought it must be the condom, since Wooyoung practiced so little patience when in the heat of his arousal. After a bit of fumbling around, a distinct hardness touched your entrance. 

“Which door am I at?”

‘Run, idiot. Get out of the hou-’

Wooyoung filled you right to the brim, and you couldn’t help giving a soft moan. Unlike San, who needed total silence to concentrate, Wooyoung had no problem focusing on you as the movie went onwards. Hands holding up your knees, he kept you in place while he pumped in and out of you. You looked over at him for a moment to see he’d removed his shirt and tugged down his shorts. He watched himself fuck you slowly, stretching your sex and filling you each time. You knew you weren’t supposed to acknowledge him, but you couldn’t stop yourself from whimpering. When he felt you looking at him, you turned your head to the laptop.

Two hands grabbed your chest, and he bent down to kiss and lick them while he kept his slow pace. You’d truly become a toy for him to fuck; a doll that fulfills his every whim. You loved it. Something about Wooyoung  having his fun with you while you remained indifferent to it turned you on. Soon, his hips snapped into yours quickly, his groans turning into grunts in each stroke. You tried not moaning, since you knew that was not part of this kink of his. You watched the movie, trying to pay attention to the parents finding their teenage daughter gutted and hanging from a tree. The movie moved onto Neve Campbell in her bedroom, typing at her old computer before her boyfriend came in through the window. 

Eventually, he withdrew and helped roll you onto your front. You wouldn’t lie: you quite enjoyed this position and they all knew that. They knew your body so well it was almost unfair. They never failed to pleasure you first during sex, and they knew they’d get a very nice favor in return each time. Straddling your thighs, Wooyoung spat on his tip and went back inside you. You nearly whined from how the new position had him touching your g-spot directly, and the force causing the bed to bump lightly against the wall. 

“Stay like that,” he huffed, returning to the same speed as before. “Just like that…”

You put your eyes on the laptop, but you barely paid attention to the screen. Wooyoung started bottoming up into you, and his weight kept you from pushing up to meet him. You purse your lips to keep back the mewls his long strokes created. How could he expect you to sit still while he took you this way? Your fingers dug into the soft pillow underneath you, clawing at the smooth fabric. You tried not showing any signs of pleasure, but you couldn’t help the need growing inside you. You badly wanted to push against him, pick up the speed and be the naughty, dirty slut he liked. But, this is what Wooyoung wanted, and you wanted him to enjoy himself too. 

In a few more thrusts, you felt Wooyoung stiffen against you. Falling forward, his forehead pressed right on the top of your head as he rode out his orgasm inside you. His damp breath tickled the back of your neck, and his moans drowned out any sounds from the film in front of you. Listening to him cum had your pussy clenching around him each time he sunk inside. Your need for release came almost painfully, the restraint being too much. When he dared to pull out, you immediately tackled him so he fell backwards on the opposite side of the fort. Wooyoung said nothing as you mounted him quickly and began riding him. 

“Someone couldn’t keep it together anymore, huh?” Wooyoung chuckled, holding onto your hips as you bounced on him. “My dick feels too good?”

“Way too good,” you whined, rolling your hips on him. You didn’t care if he’d already come, you knew he wouldn’t stop until you did too. “Play with my clit, Wooyoungie,” you said, “Make me cum, please?”

“Of course, angel.” 

Whirling his thumb around your clit and his tip prodding your g-spot again, you unraveled a few seconds later. Your body tensed in each orgasmic wave and you were soon clawing at Wooyoung’s chest from the force. Slowly, you fell from your climax as quickly as it arrived, and collapsed beside Wooyoung. A small pang of guilt made you frown. 

“Sorry,” you said to him. 

“About what?” he panted, looking over at you. 

“For not going through with the whole ‘free-use’ thing,” you replied. “I don’t know how porn stars do it, honestly.”

“You just need practice, baby,” he insisted. He rolled onto his side, and pecked your lips, “You still did so well. It’s not your fault you’re so…sensitive,” he smirked, pinching your nipple idly before kissing you again. “Trust me, I still loved it. Didn’t you?”

“I did,” you replied, turning on your side to face him. “We can always try it again later,” you suggested, “If you want to, that is.” 

“I wouldn’t be opposed to that,” he grinned, bringing you close to kiss you deeply. He paused for a moment, brushing your nose with his, and said, “I love you, YN.” 

“I love you too, WooWoo.” 

He chuckled at the nickname and you kissed once more. You briefly thought back to Mihee, who likely ended up alone after sex with her boyfriends. Not you. Your boyfriends would never leave you without smothering you in kisses first. 

They simply adored you too much. 

[distant-screaming]

GMM2025 Lineup Game

Rules: write your thoughts on all the gmmtv series pilots released today (or just the ones you plan to watch) and tag any 3 (or more! or less!) ppl whose thoughts you wanna know about!

thank you for the tag @bubbalakebrome!! I actually was writing out my thoughts for @ranchthoughts and thought this was the perfect opportunity to put em up in public too! I'm very fried from exam stuff so if these are poorly worded please forgive me <3

'dee,' you may ask, 'which of these shows are you going to watch?' no idea. I watch stuff after it's done airing, and I'm not sure how much time I'll have next year. still, if I have a positive impression of a show I'm very likely to watch it, so take that as you will!

Dare You to Death - joongdunk: it's....crowded? there's a lot going on, and it feels kind of like they mashed together two separate ideas they had for shows? but I love shows with guns because I get to kill people in my fics so LMAO!! also joongdunk are cool

Head 2 Head - seakeen and surfjava: deeply ambivalent to the actors and I've never seen them before, the plotline seems fine enough but not really my kind of thing? kind of a weird enemies to lovers I think

Burnout Syndrome - offgun + gundew(?): fascinating stuff happening here!! however. unfortunately. I don't really care. offgun are not my thing and the plot doesn't really intrigue me, it just feels dark and edgy in a way that's not my style. gun in black lipstick was something though!!

I Love A Lot of You: LIKE… OKAY GUYS… CAN WE LEAVE THE ABLEISM?? anyway. het show so I wasn't really paying attention, also has kind of split personality disorder but I'm not sure how well gmm will handle it based on their track record? anyway nanon's in it but shrug

Whale Store XOXO - milklove and junemewnich: .........shrug? sorry yuri fans I'm very ambivalent to this one, it feels like fluff the way 23.5 was fluff? not a high school gl at least! I might end up watching this, but I'm not on the edge of my seat for it

Only Friends season 2 - earthmix, ohmleng and jossgawin: INSANE. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this one because (glances at season 1)......theatre kids only friends is incredibly funny though

That Summer - winnysatang, mondryu and neomint: WINNYSATANG MAINS YAY!!! the more amnesia, but it looks interestingly done at least, and it's a jojo show and I trust him. tang being a prince is... this drama has the space to either become overdramatic fanfic or really really good and I'm desperately hoping for the latter. tang's chara is an amnesiac prince. I get to write ballroom dancing scenes. I win. mond kisses a guy which is awesome, neomint is a thing and I am deeply ambivalent to mint

My Romance Scammer - juniormark, ohmfluke: this one's concept is deeply funny to me, but the execution could vary! lowkey the energy it's giving is mame show if mame was not obsessed with blurring consent? trashy fun watch energy. also, ohmfluke doing this one is great because their most well known show is like Heavy and Serious and this one is 'I marry this guy as a gay marriage scam and fall in love'. incredible no notes. also can the actors start naming themselves fluke1, fluke2, ohm1, ohm2

Melody of Secrets - forcebook: YES. YESSSS. THIS ONE'S FOR ME. LITERALLY FOR ME. CLASSICAL MUSIC, HORROR ESQUE PLOT, SEMI MURDER, ESTABLISHED GAY PEOPLE, MAYBE MISTAKEN IDENTITY? INCREDIBLE NO NOTES. also forcebook are like, solid actors for me so yay no issues there! I want my blorbos in incredible angst STAT

Love You Teacher - perthsanta: age regression. also perth's character is just a dick to kids for no discernable reason. amnesia. age regression????

Mu-Te-Luv - multiple pairings (seven I think?) gay ones are ohmleng and seakeen: I'm usually pretty chill with anthology style shows, they're fun enough! jamie's in this one and AHEM CLEARS THROAT I LOVE JAMIE JUTAPICH!!! so. the chances of me watching this are low simply because of my backlog, but it looks interesting enough! also there's ladyboy (I hope that's the right term) characters, and I don't know how good the representation is gonna be but it's there! neo is one of them (??)

Cat for Cash - firstkhao: this is just firstkhao get paid to flirt and play with cats the series, and honestly good for them!! a little supernatural element ie first can hear cats' thoughts, which I'm curious where that will go? but overall very low stakes show, seems like the kind of thing I'd binge in a day. firstkhao are fun. I hope people are capable of being normal about a low stakes show heart emoji. I personally think it's a chill watch but I'm not bouncing off walls excited. first is handsome though

Girl Rules - namtanfilm, milklove, viewmin: high heat messy drama shows I prefer to watch in gifs and skipped around eps, but we love messy lesbian representation always!! view plays a straight (soon to figure out she's not so straight) girl which I think is kind of funny. I hope they make out a lot

Boys in Love - papangpodd, lukemick, astonchokun: hello there, obligatory gmmtv high school show! I'm pretty happy with this one, because the actors are all actually young I'm pretty sure and they're all new so it's a nice start for them, very classic. I don't know any of them. papangpodd are there, and as soon as papang appeared I started crying loud and violent tears because I am deeply and unambiguously in love with him. I hope he commits hr violations on school grounds

My Magic Prophecy - jimmysea, teefranc: it's a doctor x psychic, and it feels like a vice versa but not really. the trailer was kind of boring in the sense of composition and scene choices and such. forced proximity trope, which I sometimes do not really like so this one is on thin ice. no idea who the side pairing are yay

A Dog and A Plane - taynew, marcpoon: banger cast!! I haven't seen taynew in anything yet I don't think? but I've heard good things? marc is my beloved, of course. the plot is incredibly interesting at first look, though the cheating thread kind of bothers me? whether it will win out over my enjoyment of the rest of the trailer is yet to be decided. judgement's still out on this one

Me and Thee - pondphuwin, perthsanta: overdramatic spoiled rich kid pond who is obsessed with lakorns x photographer phuwin. incredibly hilarious dynamic. I enjoy pondphuwin, and I enjoy rich kids who grow. seems interesting for sure

Wu - skynani (bl or bromance? unclear): they really looked at the skynani popularity, said bet filmed one (1) scene and stuck it in the lineup. good for them! I hope they kiss! there's golden thread of fate involved, which is fun. I don't want to watch if it's bromance though, my backlog yearns to be freed as is

Ticket to Heaven: RELIGIOUS TRAUMA AND INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA CATHOLIC EDITION THE SHOW????? FROM G4???? WILD STUFF. WIIIILD. I'm very excited for this one, it seems there's heavy topics so hopefully they're dealt with well. g4 will slay I know already. religious imagery goes hard in fanfic if literally nothing else. I will probably cry with this one. I will still watch it. I was also informed that gem went to a catholic high school. fun!

Tagging: @winnysatang @jojotichakorn @lamonnaie @pondphuwin @jjsanguine @cornflowershade! apologies if any of you have been tagged before <3

[zeldaelmo]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

Tagged by my wonderful friend @bahbahhh.

__

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

77

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

484,215

My goal for 2023 was to hit the 500,000 and I'm positive I'll reach it.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Legend of Zelda, all games apart from Zelda I, II, and Minish Cap (because I haven't played them so far)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

How to name a royal child

Stolen Kisses

Strangers in the Night

It's in his Kiss

Flour, water, salt, yeast, love

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Uh... in theory, I do. I love getting comments but I often feel stupid saying ten times 'thank you' in a row, so I end up answering mostly when I have something to say.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

That would be Lonely at the Top. I don't really write angsty endings, but this one is hurt/no comfort as it tackles Link visiting the Light Dragon who doesn't even react to him.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hm...I'm not too fond of the fanfic version of the perfect happy ending, namely, proposal, sappy wedding, and omg, twins!, mainly because I love the nuance life teaches us. What a happy ending for a fic and a character is, is so often much more different than the fairy tale version.

That being said, I'd still go with Strangers in the Night, just because the two worked so damn hard for their happy ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Hate is a big word, but I get negative comments and sometimes they are even personal, yes. Most people are lacking reading competence and/or don't understand how stories work. I mostly ignore those. Sometimes I complain on discord if it's very annoying. If someone insults me, I block.

I don't think that has to do so much with me, though. I have 1,346 comment threads on my stories. Of course, there are some idiots among them, that's life.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, occasionally. I think ten of 77 fics are explicit. Look, the thing is, I'm a story teller. So if the smut doesn't add to the story, I don't tell it. Rule of thumb is, that I keep it to a T-rating if possible to make the story accessible to most people. I only go for explicit stuff if I want to deliver some part of the character development/plot with the intimacy (or the lack of lol) that the smut offers.

Does that get me the most Kudos? No. But I'm not here for that or I wouldn't bother writing for 30 years old games. I'm here to tell a good story and have fun. :)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

No. If you've read so far, I can tell you a secret as a reward: I find crossovers pointless. Ooops.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I am aware of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I am aware of! But I'd love to! Big fan of accessibility!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. I've seen a few writing collabs end in fandom drama or otherwise go awry, so I decided that I only collab with artists. I might try with something short one day, but nothing novel-length.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Take a guess.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Ah, so I have a half-written novel in my drafts. A story about writer!Zelda and fanartist!Link who are also princess and beloathed bodyguard. I'm very determined to go back to that one after I finished The Promise, but I'm a little scared. The story is complicated and my thoughts are chaotic. I already asked @mistresslrigtar to help me work it out next year, so I hope we'll manage.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and showing what's going on in the character's head who's not the POV character.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I struggle with simplicity sometimes, mainly because of the language barrier. I write something that's horribly complicated and I just know there must be a better way to put it, but I can't figure it out. Grammar is hard, lads.

I also have a weird relationship with descriptions. I love having characters interact with their environment but I loath big chunks of description. I plan to work on this during my traditional holiday self-study break.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

This is a weirdly specific question, but ok.

If you don't happen to write a book that's supposed to teach beginners the other language, then don't. You might end up othering the person who's speaking and that's something you don't want to dabble with lightly.

I already talked about accessibility: You will exclude people from your writing and you don't want that just to sound cool. If you must for plot reasons, make otherwise sure everyone is on board. Slightly different case if you actively hide something from your readers (and other characters), but that's probably not the most common case.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

LoZ

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

I refuse to answer this. 77 fics are too much to choose from. I love most of them.

_

tagging: @mistresslrigtar, @airplanned, @jenseits-der-sterne, @silentprincess17, @deiliamedlini, @skyyknights

[anderwhohn]

𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓, 𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆! feel free to add any of your answers! the purpose is to tell your partners about the way you write! for multiple choice ones, 𝐁𝐎𝐋𝐃 all that apply and, if you want, 𝒊𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒛𝒆 if it's a conditional answer!

~ 𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒 ~

NAME : Lexi

ARE YOU OVER 18? : yes / no .

IS YOUR MUSE? : yes / no .

ARE YOU SELECTIVE ABOUT WHO YOU WRITE WITH ON THIS BLOG? : no (anyone) / semi (most people) / yes / highly / private (mutuals only) (while I am mutuals only, I'm generally open to writing with most people, as long as our rules don't clash and our writing styles mesh)

IF YOUR MUSE IS CANON, HOW MUCH DO YOU ADHERE TO CANON? : not at all / a little / some / mostly (i pick and choose from source material) / strictly / ( oc ) I write my own canon. (I take plenty of creative liberties even with the most close-to-canon muses, but canon is just a toybox to play in regardless - there are no set rules)

WHAT POST LENGTHS DO YOU WRITE? : one liners / single-para / multi-para / novella (I tend to get wordy af, especially if expositioning and/or the muse is introspecting, but strictly one liners & single para is hard for me to keep my attention on, so it's very brief if it happens at all)

DO YOU USE ICONS AND/OR GIFS? : no / gifs / icons / gif icons (i sometimes might still use icons if I have them readily available for that muse, but I don't worry about it anymore because I don't have the spoons to keep making them all the time)

DO YOU WRITE ON OTHER PLATFORMS? : no / yes (I only am open to writing on discord with very specific people.)

WHAT LEVEL OF PLOTS DO YOU WRITE? : unplotted / open ended plots / semi-plotted / fully-plotted epics

HOW QUICKLY DO YOU USUALLY RESPOND TO THREADS? : very slow (more than a month) / slow (3-4 weeks) / average (1-2 weeks) / fast (less than one week) / very fast (less than three days) 

WHAT TYPES OF THEMES DO YOU LIKE? (feel free to add ) : fluff / angst / smut  / action / tragedy / domestic / family / conversational  / hurt-comfort.

WHAT GENRES DO YOU LIKE? (feel free to add) : high fantasy / supernatural / science fiction / historical / horror / comedy / romantic / drama / action / adventure / espionage / everything

ARE THERE ANY THEMES YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH WRITING ON YOUR BLOG? (not triggers) : yes / no (I'm sure everyone has something they are uncomfortable writing. I will simply say no politely if something like that ever comes up. I'm fine with most heavy/dark themes.)

DO YOU HAVE ANY TRIGGERS? : yes / no

HOW DO YOU REQUEST IT TAGGED? : The common ones that most people tag anyway are listed in my rules. Highly specific ones, I mostly rely on the content filtering, despite potential false positives.

~ 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 ~

WHAT TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS ARE YOU OPEN TO? : romantic  / platonic / familial  / physical / sexual

WHAT TYPES OF PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS ARE YOU OPEN TO? : romantic / platonic / familial / physical / sexual / depends on the partner & muse (those who want pre-established things should fill out my Ships & Dynamics form, so I have a better idea what you're thinking (preferably also using the text fields to elaborate if it's something very specific you have in mind))

DO YOU HAVE OTPS? : no / chemistry only / yes (ship biases are listed for most muses in their dossiers, but I only ship with chemistry, so any potential ships will only happen after we've established a connection between the muses - unless you're Havu, Orion, Ashley, Pops, or Middy, because reasons)

DO YOU HAVE NOTPS? no / yes / I don't know (they're listed in my rules, as are the 'enough-tps' for ships I'm just into without some phenomenal levels of chemistry between our muses)

ARE YOU COMFORTABLE WRITING SMUT? : no / selectively / yes (I only write it with muns whom I'm comfortable with, so we have to have been writing together for a while before it'll even become a possibility)

HOW EARLY IN A RELATIONSHIP DO YOU SHIP ROMANTICALLY? : autoship / during plotting / after a couple ic interactions / several ic interactions / slow burn / depends on partner & muse (usually several interactions and/or slow burn, except for the above mentioned muns)

ARE YOU OPEN TO TOXIC SHIPS? : no / selectively / yes / never tried it (extremely selective with doing so)

ARE YOU OPEN TO PROBLEMATIC SHIPS? (canon history, age difference, complicated, etc.) : no / selectively / yes (so long as the muses are 18+, with plotting behind the scenes, maybe but I'd be highly selective about it, and certain things like noncon/dubcon are right off the table)

ARE YOU OPEN TO POLYSHIPPING? : no / selectively / yes

ARE YOU AN EXCLUSIVE SHIPPER? : no / sometimes / yes (Crowley exclusively ships with one particular Aziraphale in the Good Omens verses, but is open to crossover shipping; other muses may vary as things develop)

DOES CRACK SHIPPING EVER HAPPEN? : no / sometimes / yes

DOES CROSSOVER SHIPPING EVER HAPPEN? : no / yes / depends (quite a bit, actually, given how I write a lot of crossovers)

Tagged by stolen from: @dutyworn Tagging: be gay, do crime

[moodymisty]

❗Requests are 𝕮𝖑𝖔𝖘𝖊𝖉! I am taking a break, thank you!❗

𝔅𝔩𝔬𝔤 𝔒𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔳𝔦𝔢𝔴:

✦ Hello! I'm Misty, or Jordan, whichever you prefer. I'm an constantly exhausted Software Engineering student and luster of men in varying types of armor, with a love for writing and drawing in my spare time. I have a deep love for video games, so many things here will be in that area.

Writing gets posted around once or twice a week, but it might be more or less depending. I also tend to post things that aren't in my main wheelhouse to Ao3, so feel free to go give that a look if you're interested in some more niche content.

𝕬 𝖋𝖊𝖜 𝖗𝖚𝖑𝖊𝖘… ✦ Please be respectful here: My goal is to keep my blog a positive place, so be polite and avoid sending in unironic character/media/fic hate, 'ship discourse'', or any other fandom wank. I don't care about any of it. Any and all material will be tagged accordingly, please exercise discretion with content you don't want to see. ✦ I cannot do/am not inspired by every request, sometimes I will take awhile, and sometimes I may not do something exactly how you want. Please remember I am a human writing for fun between work and college. ✦ BE 18+. Even if all my stuff isn't NSFW, I don't feel comfortable having underage users here, I ask you to respect that. If I catch you following, interacting with my works or trying to chat me up, you will get blocked. ✦ All in all, just behave. This is a nice little library, so I ask you to be on good behavior and not make a mess of the place. ✦ Current fandoms that are circulating around here are Darksiders, Warhammer 30/40K, and Elden Ring. Will there be random things? Yes, but this is what I'm into most at the moment. ✦ Common tags: [Misty's book club] For asks about various headcanons, scenarios, or just chitter chatter about characters. [mywriting] Is self explanatory. [For the Library] Writing that isn't mine that I really enjoyed. I tend to tag any long conversations and musing between all of us with a specific tag so people can go back and read the HCs. For instance our musings about Lorgar and his beloved vs Kor Phaeron is [The Lorgar Aurelian Family Drama Plotline]. Getting Bullied by Cato Sicarius timeline and The Emperor ‘Droit du siegneur’ plotline are other examples.

✦ Tips for sending requests

✦ A note regarding my Star Wars writing

-Drabbles/Headcanons

Deciding to take Despair for a joyride

Giving War a nice massage because he deserves it

Strife fluff

Some Lewd content™ with War

Strife's chapter of the 'steal their horse' series

Strife comfort

Cute domestic moment with Death

Calling Death 'Deathy' because you have a death wish

[HCs] Horsemen reacting to you being stressed (from work/something similar)

[HCs] Samael's human getting nabbed

[HCs] Learning magic in secret then gifting them an enchanted gift

[HCs] Horsemen realizing they have a crush on the reader

Death's Reaper form meets Reader

Strife and his favorite human have a moment alone (NSFW)

[HCs] Death and male S/O

Fluff with War

Samael and his starry eyed s/o

Snuggling with Strife

Love on Death (NSFW)

Death returning to the one he abandoned post Well of Souls, Part 1, Part 2

Some random Strife fluff

-Full Fics/Oneshots

"Tree in Bloom" A Strife/Fem!Reader Series

(Chapter 1, Chapter 2,) Canon typical violence, Post-apocalypse, Eventual romance, Eventual smut maybe, Friends to lovers, Strife is clingy and emotionally rockheaded

"Death's Door" A Death/Fem!Reader oneshot

SFW, Only warning is Death is a crusty ol git

"R&R" A War/Fem!Reader oneshot

SFW, Canon typical violence, Light blood and injury, Absolutely tooth rotting fluff at the end

"Fiery Chains" A War/Fem!Reader oneshot

SFW, Fluff without plot, Toothrotting amounts of fluff, Ruin expressing the feelings that War is too grumpy to show

"Off the Beaten Path" A Death/Fem!Reader oneshot

NSFW, it’s like 20% porn if that, Porn with feeling, No use of y/n, Outdoor sex, Established relationship, Fluff

Perturabo Masterlist

Guilliman Masterlist

Konrad Curze Masterlist

Sanguinius Masterlist

Lorgar Aurelian Masterlist

Angron Masterlist

Rogal Dorn Masterlist

Lion El'Jonson Masterlist

Mortarion Masterlist

-Drabbles/Headcanons

Leman Russ fluff

Corvus Corax being a naughty crow (NSFW)

Vulkan with pregnant!S/O fluff

Sevatar hunting you

[HCs] The Legions reacting to their Primarch having a lover Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Jaghatai Khan realizing he's maybe falling in love

Magnus coming across his s/o trying to do sorcery

Unnamed Black Templar and his little mortal

Cuddling with your Black Templar in the freezing cold

Yandere Horus getting jealous (NSFW)

Asking Ferrus about his arms (vaguely lewd but not nsfw)

Getting cornered by 5 Luna Wolves (slightly nsfw)

Playing around with some Space Wolves

Some random Jaghatai Khan HCs (NSFW)

Ferrus Manus returning from a crusade (NSFW)

Willingly giving your blood to an unnamed Lamenter

Corvus and his very pregnant beloved

[HCs] Random Primarch courting HCs

Getting bullied by Cato Sicarius (slightly lewd but not nsfw)

AlphariusOmegon voice kink (slightly lewd but not nsfw)

Sugar daddy Horus (NSFW)

Getting taken by Tyberos (NSFW)

Comforting your Raven Guard master

Giving some blood to a hungry Blood Angel (NSFW)

Getting reassured by your Aqulian Shield protector

Some sugar daddy Horus propaganda (NSFW)

Worrying for Fulgrim as he slowly falls to chaos (NSFW)

Cato Sicarius getting jealous over you and a Space Wolf (Part of the Bully Cato Sicarius plotline)

Trapped by Typhus the Traveler (NSFW)

Triggering a squad of hungry Blood Angels with your blood

Getting teased by Artyom the Wolf(OC) (NSFW)

Getting a Tattoo for your Night Lord

Sleeping with a Space Wolf while Russ is away (lewd but not nsfw)

Sicarius getting cucked by Titus (NSFW)

-Full Fics/Oneshots

"Remember Only Me" A Salamander/Fem!Reader/Night Lord series

(Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3 soon) Hints of nsfw at points, Yandere, Size differences, Very toxic suffocating relationship(s), Some knight/princess dynamics, Demeaning language, Both these guys have hero complexes, Violence blood and bruises and possibly death to say without spoilers

"I Don't Care What You Think, As Long As It's About Me" A Cato Sicarius/Fem!Reader series

(Chapter 1, Chapter 2 soon,) NSFW, Degradation, Sexism/misogyny, Choking, Size difference, Toxic relationship

↳𝔐𝔦𝔰𝔠𝔢𝔩𝔩𝔞𝔫𝔢𝔬𝔲𝔰:

Fandom: Resident Evil

"Thank you" A Merchant/Fem!Reader oneshot NSFW, Oral (male receiving), Porn without Plot, Praise Kink, A hint of deepthroating, Guess you could call it unsafe sex you barely know the man lol

Fandom: Transformers

Jealous Starscream

Fandom: Elden Ring

Messmer finding you in a flower field

[notfreetoday]

Dear Luta, I'm going to take the liberty of hopping in on this one since I was tagged in the ask 😁😁 I hope you don't mind! (thanks @bloglouuniverse-blog1, glad you liked it!)

This got long - tl;dr at the end!

I just want to emphasize again that many aspects of East Asian culture will appear to the Western eye as something different than what it really is because we have grown up internalizing different societal "truths", and some of these are so fundamental that we do not realize how they shape our view of the world. (This post is going to go back to that independent vs interdependent self construal)

It is not uncommon to see the comment that one partner "infantilizes" the other in East Asian dramas. Amongst mixed race couples from Western & Eastern cultures - it is also not uncommon to hear the complaint that the Western partner felt like they were "being babied" or "had to baby their partner".

The reason this happens is because Western society, in general tends to have a very flat hierarchy. As such, many people do not have much of a frame of reference when it comes to close relationships in which there exists a power imbalance, except for the parent/child dynamic, or the teacher/student. Even then, many Western parents and teachers want to "become their child/student's friend". There is nothing wrong with this - along with individualism and independence, these are aspects of Western society and culture. All it is, is different.

But when you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail. So when you introduce power dynamics into a relationship, many people automatically think "who are you to tell me what to do? My parent?". And because of that link to parental relationships, power dynamics in any other kind of intimate relationship can feel, well, uncomfortable.

In East Asian culture, power dynamics are introduced to you before you can even talk. Between you and your siblings, you and your cousins, you and your uncles, aunts, your neighbours, the old man down the street, the random kids at the playground, your seniors in school and your teachers. Even twins less than a minute apart, will still be referred to as "older/younger". Literally with every other person besides you, exists a power differential, and you will be taught to recognise and navigate that differential, because it is a fact of life. Again, there is nothing wrong with this - along with the emphasis on the group and on interdependence, these are just aspects of East Asian society and culture. It is just different.

I must also stress, that power imbalance =/= abuse of power. Yes it happens, but it happens when things go wrong. The reason for this confusion is again, the lack of a reference frame. The parent/child and the teacher/student dynamic in Western culture, is linear. The parent/teacher holds the power, and the child/student is relatively powerless. When the child comes of age, he leaves. There is no expectation nor obligation for the child to return, because the role of the parent and teacher is generally seen as temporary. They are there to help the child survive, and when the child grows into an adult, he makes his own way.

This is not so in East Asian relationships, which are bidirectional and reciprocal. This means that both partners have a role to play and obligations to fulfill, no matter their position in the hierarchy. Those roles and obligations may change as both parties grow - for example, the child is expected to care for the parents in their old age - but both parties will always have something they are meant to contribute. It is easy to see that the older/more experienced person will care for, guide and correct the younger/less experienced person - but most people miss that, in return, the latter not only cares for the former, but also offers their respect in learning and their humility in receiving guidance.

You might be wondering how those things are important, given that they aren't even tangible objects to begin with. Remember when I said relationships are co-created by 2 interdependent individuals? This is what I mean. It takes 2 hands to clap - there is no "higher position of power" if the "lower position of power" does not exist, and vice versa. The existance of one justifies the existance of the other. It is the existance of the child that turns the person into a parent; it is the student that turns the person into a teacher. We are all defined by who we are in relation to one another. It's all very yin and yang isn't it? 😁

Tl;dr:

What this all means is, in the West, to love someone is to preserve their independence and individuality, because it is their uniqueness that gives meaning to who they are.

In the East, to love someone is to reinforce the relationship you have with them, because it is the relationship that you both share that gives meaning to who you both are. This is why amae is so important.

In other words, there is a lot more going on than just Segasaki leading/correcting/guiding Yoh (and part of Yoh's growth is his realization of how he too brings meaning to Segasaki's life).

Dear Lutha,

Thank you very much for your kind and quick response to my previous (and very first) question, which was about 'caging' in D/s relationships. I really enjoyed it and I'm looking forward to reading your post on the topic.

Since I appreciate your thoughts so much, I am writing to you on another topic. In some dramas with strong D/s elements (such as Cutie Pie, Love in the Air, My Personal Weatherman, You are mine and even sometimes in KinnPorsche), infantilization dynamics are to be seen. This element is all the stronger as the age gap is marked, even though it can still show up anytime.

I'm not necessarily talking about the Dad/little dynamics, but of a more general Adult/minor type relationship, where the former leads and protects the latter through the usual parental tools (like scolding, giving lessons, correcting, punishing, rewarding etc.. .).

For me, this pattern is for example very strong in a series like My Personal Weatherman, where Segasaki assumes a parental role towards Yoh, who often acts and speaks like a child (either spontaneously or in reaction to his partner's attitude). If I understand them correctly, @notfreetoday's detailed and fascinating posts on language(s) in My Personal Weatherman tend to validate this impression.

So, I wanted to ask you a/ if you would also describe parts of these relationships as consensual infantilization and, b/ if so, if they are in your opinion different from common D/s dynamics. Or whether they should be seen as a particular expression of a mere D/s dynamics.

If you have time, I would be happy to read your thoughts on this matter. Thank you once again for your delightful posts.

Best,

Yassa

Hey Yassa!!!

I'm so glad you enjoy my writing. It means a lot!

"Where the former leads and protects the latter through the usual parental tools (like scolding, giving lessons, correcting, punishing, rewarding etc...)."

Labeling discipline as infantile is limiting. We use corrective tools even in the work place. If you mess up then you get scolded, given a lesson, correcting, and so on. We all need correction at any stage of age. It just depends on your hierarchy on how that correction is given. With a D/s relationship, the hierarchy places the Dom at the top. Therefor, if a Dom just like a Boss is found to be wrong, the consequences will be far different from those given to a sub or subordinate. It's an imbalance in power control.

However, I think I'm capturing what you are really trying to ask. All the shows you just mentioned are BT/b relationships. Which is a D/s relationship involving a Brat Tamer Dom and a brat submissive. This is the type of Dom that I am. We are typically very cool, calm, and collected. We are protective but much more loose on the leash than other Doms. We will often engage in romantic play or play fighting, but push us too far, and you will see an intensity in us that will send shivers down your spine. Regardless of how gentle we seem, we will gladly give it to you if you deserve punishment. Due to our submissives liking to push our buttons, you'll see a more tug of war relationship. Depending on if we want to get ahead of it or let it play out is how you'll see us lead. Which is why you see more disciplining in a BT/b relationship.

The Brat Submissive - Brats in general are overly-aggressive, sarcastic, sassy, and your general coyote. They have no intentions of submitting to anyone's authority or discipline if you have not earned their respect.

The SAM Submissive - The SAM is a type of brat. A SAM type submissive, also known as a Smart-Assed Masochist, is just that, a smart-talking submissive with a quick tongue. Usually, their Sammie behavior isn't actually a cry for attention; it's just their way of being playful. In fact, most SAMs when actually threatened with punishment will back off, saying that they were only playing and that they didn't mean anything by it. Occasionally, this behavior can be incredibly frustrating to their partners, but the rewards far out weigh the negatives.

My Beautiful Man: Starts out as M/s which is Master slave and moves into a deep D/s. No BT/t in this relationship.

Not Me: This is a soft D/s relationship, but it's there. White is a little bit of a brat but much more subservient.

Love In The Air: Very much BT/b relationship. With a Primitive Brat Taming Dom and SAM submissive.

Until We Meet Again: I recommend this one for seeing the difference between a deeper D/s relationship that is Dean and Pharm. In comparison to Win and Team who are BT/b.

Between Us: WinTeam's story. Brat Tamer with a SAM submissive. The difference in Team is that he is a Dom outside of their relationship. So what is called a Sexual Submissive Only.

I Will Knock You: Deep D/s with large age gap. The youngest being the Dom.

Stay By My Side: D/s relationship with a stricter Dom but a brat of a sub.

My Personal Weatherman: A Deep Brat Tamer with a brat submissive.

Hope this was helpful! 💜💜💜

[deadmunds-ghostbee]

You’re a sensible and level headed person in the Bridgerton fandom, what is your take on the EW feature? I don’t think I’m a super reactionary person, however, I’ve had a creeping feeling that S2 just isn’t going to be good (both critical reception wise and fan response/satisfaction). TVWLM is the best book and they’re bungling with it for some reason…

Haha I'm glad I seem sensible! Yes I try to keep this a relatively drama and discourse free blog.

That being said, I've turned off my asks for the next day or so because I'm gonna write big long fun posts about the new content we got today but don't have the time to answer anything beyond this one.

To be honest, my first reaction to the article wasn't actually how I personally felt about it. I saw that Jonny and Simone weren't the cover and I thought, 'oh dear, people are going to have things to say about this.' And they did and they still do about many of the things mentioned in the article. Which is obviously fine.

Onto my thoughts: Entertainment weekly is no award-winning publication. There were points where I thought the journalist extrapolated to a hilarious amount (like in the post introducing the characters, they implied that Theo Sharpe and Eloise would be good for each other??) and points where it was just hot air.

I DONT EXPECT ANYONE TO READ ALL THIS BUT HERE GOES

The cast had some insightful things to say about themes and commentary, and ultimately I have no real opinion on the fact that they focused on the side characters a lot. Those characters are a sure bet. It's press and I won't claim to understand marketing or the semantics of scheduling. I do think it would be weird if we never got a Jonny Simone cover somewhere at some point, though.

In terms of bungling it, safest assumption is that it's a bit of a wash? What are the chances that it'll be amazing? What are the chances it'll be theworstfuckingthingever? Small for both. There will be good and bad and it will certainly never be 'great' with the way it bites off way more than it can chew in terms of class, race, and even women's issues. In terms of pulling off a good romance, though, I have faith.

The actors (Jonny in particular) have shown very keen understanding of their characters, and they continue to hone in on important character beats such as Kate's utter devotion to her family and Edwina. I don't think Kate and Anthony's story can be bad with good performances and chemistry, and a basis of the characters we love. Even if it *is* bad, nothing's ruining Kathony for me because I'm not letting it lol.

This opinion may get me in trouble: I personally don't really care how well it is perceived critically or by GA or my followers. I only care that I like it myself (which I am determined to do within reason), and that I can continue to enjoy writing/reading fic. How good the subsequent seasons are also isn't something I care about, but for the rest of the fandom's sakes, I hope yall enjoy it.

Critics usually overexaggerate and GA (and by that I mean, non-internet ppl who don't think too hard about it) are easy to please. I don't think it'll do the same numbers but whatever. The promo isn't a disaster but it could probably be better.

Now onto the last part which is probably what a lot of the question was about.

I think the largest points of contention in the article were the "Bombay" thing (which people have rightly complained about. I'm no history wizard and I'm also a white girl from the American midwest so I don't want to play any role in the discourse other than listen. Anxiety is warranted and I hope it is aptly criticized when it comes out). And the 'triangle' thing.

I think we've gotten to a point today where people are mostly trying to be positive in the tag after a chaotic afternoon. I agree. The words seemed offhand, innocuous, meant for GA, and also infused into the article without hearing it straight from Jonny's mouth. Passing interest from Edwina or Anthony will probably last two seconds.

This may be bold, but even if Edwina is into him, or (worst case scenario?? And HIGHLY unlikely) upset about the marriage or even if Anthony PROPOSES/almost marries her, it would be a wild divergence but I wouldn't completely hate it. Kate's twofold guilt/turmoil would be interesting. This wouldn't just be "fighting over a boy," it's been driven home that Edwina and Kate are soulmates, and that they are adding depth to the relationship. So the worst case scenario is only moderately upsetting for me, but I have more hope than that anyway. We've been conditioned by popular media to assume all love triangles are bad. Drama can be annoying but it can also leave room for character development. it's a generally interesting narrative choice to have characters be into someone that isn't their true love beforehand (a la Siena), which, in a show that boasts its "progressivism" and a fandom which wants it to be even more so, is a more modern idea.

Adding drama and complexities to subplots in order to give your cast things to do can be okay if done right. Promo isn't the nail in the coffin for actual screen time and even if Kathony is only on screen for a half or third of the time, 4 hours of content is better than nothing. That ratio will only continue in later seasons as they keep adding to the cast. Polin's story will be so bloated with Danbury and Queen stuff and Eloise drama and setting up the next phase of the show if they even have it, so why cross compare?

So tldr

The best way to think about S2 is a fun AU, no expectations. Whatever the s2 is, it may be show-canon but it isn't gospel.

If you don't like s2 then it shouldn't ruin your entire bridgerton experience. It's okay to be disappointed, but like, being disappointed is what real life is for. It's not coming anywhere near my escapism.

***

Now that this essay is over I'm gonna write a post abt actual theories!! If you made it this far, Godspeed homie.

[aphrodite-would-be-proud]

Hi, I really, REALLY love your writing, you're a amazing writer and I just want you to know it (ب_ب)♡

I don't know if you're up to, or if you did it before, but, can I request a female reader poly relationship with Armin and Eren? 👉👈 If you've done this or are uncomfortable doing it, you can ignore this request

You're so sweet! Thank you so much ت💛

And I haven't actually written something like this before so no worries you're the first! It doesn't make me uncomfortable at all, although I appreciate you checking first, thank you🐛

Hmm since this is a poly, I guess it'll classify as a valid Eren x reader fic, welp gotta make him his own catorgy now.

Being in a Poly relationship with Armin and Eren HC

{ Armin x reader x Eren | tw:none | fluff | Modern }

{ "What's Behind the Door" by Hans Zatzka 1859-1945 }

You're the middle spoon most of the time. Armin prefers being the little spoon and burying himself against your chest before falling asleep, while Eren likes feeling you in his arms and just pulling you so close against him. On rare times they switch positions.

As a result, you wake up with the two of them wrapped around you. Good luck getting up with how grumpy Eren is in the morning.

Talking about Eren, he enjoys listening to you and Armin talk in general. It could be about anything from the weather to a book or even complaining about him and he'll just sit between you two and relax. It makes him feel at peace.

You're his safe place when the world gets too much, he could just hug you impossibly close to him before closing his eyes while you and Armin hang out.

In fact he enjoys watching you two do anything together, even mondaine thing like help Armin detangle his hair in the morning. Oh no, he won't help, but he will sit next to you and observe even if it means he too will be late to work.

Eren is one of those people who get out of bed, mess their hair a bit and then have perfect hair somehow. He could just tie it back and it'll look so good despite being effortless.

Armin likes how playful you and Eren can get, how much he teases you and how you answer back. Especially when the two of you are trying to make him pick sides and back one of you up, he acts innocent but in reality he's looking for a bribe.

Armin also enjoys how Eren is mostly down to his adventures and even looks forward to them, it also means convincing you to tag along will be easier and the three of you will have so much fun.

He also feels more confident and bold when both of you are by his side, his usual anxieties and worries getting drowned out by your voices and presence. Plus both of your assurance are a huge boost to his ego, he can actually tease back if pushed hard enough.

Be warned, a smug cocky Armin is a...dangerous one.

I'm not saying you and Eren will get roasted but...

The three of you live in Armin's place actually, since with his grandpa away in the farm, he has the whole apartment to himself.

Eren still visits his mom on the weekends tho, will drag you two along, she bakes you pie and sends you home with cookies.

Eren is just a completely opposite person in front of his mom, you and Armin can get away with almost anything in front of her.

It's actually Armin who plans dates for the three of you , picnics, arcades, beach trips, diners.

They actually enabler each other a lot, being best friends and all. A lot of times Armin would just get Eren to drag you into places or ideas he has and a lot of times Eren will get Armin to convince you that yes spending money on expensive shoes is a good investment.

They keep a tap on each other.

You have no idea the amount of things Eren broke by accident and Armin was quick to replace before you notice. Or the many times Armin almost backed away from showing you things he wrote or got for you wasn't it for Eren encouraging him.

Eren is really protective, for both of you actually. He makes sure no one is bothering you and always steps in whenever you're uncomfortable

Armin is really considerate, he knows both of your preference and a lot of small details. He takes your emotions into consideration and always has a plan B and knows just the right words to say.

The problem is that both of them are extremely jealous people who don't know how to deal with it.

For real, Armin would seem sad and distante while Eren will be passive aggressive. And all of that just because you told Connie you liked his shirt or laughed at something Sasha said.

They act like kicked puppies, and won't ever admit to being jealous they just look at you with puppy eyes till you pay them the same attention too.

Drama queens, both of them. Will whine and sulk if your attention leaves them for a second.

Armin has a special nickname for each one of you, while Eren goes for the typical "babe" and looks at both of you making you try to guess "which one?"

Armin likes holding your hand and kissing you cheek, Eren prefers wrapping an arm around you and kissing your neck.

Both of them are big on physical affaction, expect a lot of greeting and goodbye kisses also being pulled into a hug or to sit near someone at random times.

Armin likes taking pictures of you, together or each by their own. He keeps them in a scrapbook that you help him make, Eren tries to find the best spots for him to photograph.

While Eren plays Videgames, he likes having you and Armin by his side. Even if you're not playing with him he'll just enjoy looking at your direction whenever he preforms really well like a kid looking for praise.

They have really different taste in food, movies and dates. Despite that they rarely argue or fight about It, since they've known each other for so long they learned how to compromise.

Lowkey each of them still tries to pull you to like the things they do so you'll take sides.

Even if you're not around, they will talk about you between them. Just how gorgeous you looked today and how adorable that outfit looked on you.

Actually both of them have you alone as their lockscreen, even whilst having a lot of pictures of the three of them together, they just like it this way.

Both are also big on public affaction so don't expect the pampering to stop just because you're outside.

They're just so comfortable with each other and when you came along they had absolutely no problem in sharing you, actually they even prefered because the other is the only person they'd trust with you.

They also don't mind when one of them takes you on a private date just the two of you alone, just give the other a heads up and maybe bring them a snack or something.

You prefer romantic cozy dates? Armin would love to share his softest blanket with you under the fairylights while sharing a milkshake or your favourite drink and watching a romantic comedy sitcom.

And the next day, Eren would take you to his favourite restaurant before going to the arcades or cinema after. Drive around in the car while listening to music and occasionally stopping at really nice spots to enjoy the view.

Maybe the three of you could go to a waterpark and Eren would attempt the really high dives while Armin just happily floats around in the water.

Or maybe going to the beach and watching them put actual effort and planning into making a good sandcastle, Armin collecting the seashells while Eren gets the sand.

Being in a relationship with them means you'll get the best of both worlds yet never get bored or feel alone. They have really different tastes yet are so similar at the same time, you'll truely feel loved and cared for.

[astoria00]

Cinder's actions in retrospect

For most of us volume 8 is over already and now we are left with the hiatus and lots of information to process. And if there was one character most debated about it was probably Cinder. Some said the last episode ruined all of her depth the earlier episodes had built. Sounds oddly familiar if you think back on volume 4 and 5 and how most of the fandom reacted there. But I'm not here to talk about people's inability to understand forshadowing and character growth in negative and positive directions.

I am here to talk about Cinder's behavior. Mainly onward from after the hiatus. I already saw plenty of takes calling Cinder cold, unfeeling, selfish, irredeemable and yes, Cinder is a villain, but she is also human. This volume wanted to show us that even more. It is supposed to lay a foundation. For years people claimed Cinder fans were reaching when we called the child abuse and her trauma dictating her quest for power and I don't expect it to change now, but how about we view our dear Fall Maiden's behavior from a different angle.

We know Cinder was chewed out by Watts, had to make good on her deal with Neo to get her on board, had a breakdown beforehand and lied to Salem.

Now let's think about this from the idea that Cinder actually liked Neo more than she liked to admit. They had their own unique and sassy dynamic going on.

Before anything turns south for her, Cinder is sent to get what she wants after being tortured and gently prodded by Salem. Then the Whale blows up and she doesn't get an answer from anybody leaving her with Watts, who starts to rip into her and her deepest fears, making her cry and tells her that her trauma means nothing. And then someone does message her and at first she is relieved, until she sees it's content, Neo has betrayed her, stolen the relic to blackmail her, with her very own life at stake.

So not only was Cinder incredibly stressed, she was emotionally vulnerable at that. Everything seemed to unravel. She was constantly failing, her past began to catch up with her...she was right back at the place where she had been...a scared helpless child yearning for love and freedom and people telling her she would need to be better, smarter, stronger, worthy.

Neo messages her and something inside her cracks. She doesn't know why it bothers her...why it hurts, but it's there.

And yet when they meet, her child theme plays in the background. She acknowledges that maybe...she was at fault here...that she hasn't been a good partner. That she hadn't kept her word....

She apologizes. She means it. This is fixable...she still doesn't know why she cares at all...

and then she finds out Emerald betrayed her as well. Someone she never gave any reason to do that in her mind. Something unexplainable...personal even. She saved Emerald...did what Rhodes didn't do for her...and she was still left for Ruby and her merry band of all people. The person responsible for Cinder's gravest loss in her mind. Everything feels like a lie. Emerald lied. She didn't care about her like she always said she did. Those were just empty words. it hurts even more this time. Cinder doesn't know what it is, but she doesn't like it. It weights on her. Anger would be easier and safer to deal with, but it never worked in her favor. She feels out of control.

If Emerald was able to betray her...then so would Neo...she already proved she could and would. They both didn't care about her at all. Emerald brought her back to the Whale to be tortured and Neo stole the lamp ready to have her killed by it.

So if she couldn't trust any of them, this time she would be one step ahead of them. This time she would betray them first before they would get another chance to hurt her.

She would cut herself free from all those strings that got wrapped around her heart.

She gets Neo to fall into the void and at first it feels good. She can't ponder over her feelings at the moment. She is on a tight schedule here. Cinder feels Salem returning, everything falls into place just like she hoped and wanted. She doesn't get the powers. It stings, but she needs the relics more. She needs Salem. A fact she had tried very hard to drown out, had wanted to grow out of, but this worked better. She was better, stronger, worthy.

She summons Ambrosius and barricades Watts into the control station, locking him into Atlas like the Atleasians Elite he was. The man who thought his own drama outweighted Cinder's. Who called her suffering little. Looking down on her. Ripping away on her until she broke down in tears. Who dared to make her feel vulnerable. Who made her cry.

Cinder is done trying to find herself. She has gone back to being the most competent version of herself. The one that imitates Salem. And extension of her master.

And one day she will realize that this is not what she wants at all.

So those were just my humble thoughts on the matter, seeing as the Cinder tag will be swarmed with hate posts again, I thought I share them. Stay safe Cinder fans.

[writing-biting]

Thank you so much for tagging me!! I lovelovelove things like this!

Time to pop my ao3 open and start answering some questions, ehehehhe :oD (←clown!! It's a clown emoticon!)

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

Counting the ones on my pseud, 32!

2. What's your total ao3 wordcount?

Let's see— 182,540!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Undertale (mainly just aus), Rottmnt (gets its own category because of how much I've written for it), tmnt, Lego Monkie kid, and I want to write for more stuff in the future!

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

Ehehe, okay, here we go:

Pull the Strings (Mine or Yours) (my main longfic!! It's mainly about dream and nightmare getting dragged around the multiverse and having a miserable time. But swap sans is there too!) 371

What Do We Fight For? (The accidentally TMNT BAY-centric collab crossover I'm doing based on Champions of the Battle Nexus (which is currently getting a really good rewrite!! You should read it)) 205

Behind the Waterfall (cross-centric undertale fic that I wrote a few years ago instead of going to therapy) 183

colors pooled between his thighs (smut babyyyy, and me trying to figure out how ink's paints work) 171

Rinse and Repeat (rottmnt angst!! Or disaster twin bonding, but sad) 132

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes!! As much as I possibly can. I'm very, very behind on answering comments but I answer as many as I can, if I have something to say.

I answer comments because feedback and attention is what fuels a lot of my writing. Also I love talking to people, and I always have so much to say. I love talking about what I write, and comments literally make me so happy I just have to say something, just to try to give a little bit of that happiness back

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh!! That's really hard. It really depends on what you find angsty. All of my long stuff has hopeful or happy endings, and a lot of my short stuff has 'bad endings'

Unhealthy Power Dynamic and Minionship, Oh My! is written to be very upsetting overall, and ends on a pretty fucked up note. It's a part of my Killer is a little shit. series, which is pretty much just a bunch of angsty oneshots about Killer suffering

Pain, Fear, Control and Passion ends positively miserably, but won't make any sense to you if you don't know about my rottmnt separated au. And no one knows about it because I haven't talked about it

And I guarantee that either Leo doesn't pay attention during training or same as ever (everything stays the same) will you make you sick to the stomach if you care about teenage mutant neglected turtles (tm(n)t)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Mikey Knows His Worth which starts with a sibling argument and ends with a food fight. Not my usual tone tbh!

I'd say that A Couple of Minutes With The Janken Club is a close second though, ending with everyone about to play an absolutely wild, armed game of rock paper scissors

8. Do you get hate on fic?

I think I did, once or twice

9. Do you write smut?

Not as much as I used to! When I joined the rottmnt fandom I moved it under a pseud, because a lot of kids were now reading my stuff and I was also worried about drama (the rottmnt fandom can be weird weird about shipping)

10. Do you write crossovers?

Hell yes. I mean, I only have two crossover fics rn but I want to write more so badly

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Idk, probably not. Most of the stuff I write is just venting and gore, not the kind of thing people really want to take credit for

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Does it count if you translated it yourself? In my wattpad days, I had a varian/oc fanfic, and I translated the first chapter into Hebrew

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic?

YES!! it's so fun to do omg (What Do We Fight For? is cowritten!!)

14. What's your all time favorite ship? Bad sanses poly. Followed right by star sanses poly.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but probably won't?

Feathers and Petals (my separated AU), I've revamped it too many times and it lost its soul)

16. Writing strengths?

I have literally unlimited ideas. I could make up an awesome fic idea right now, in literally less than a minute. I could give you twenty, new, fresh, right off the grill

Also, I can both write and read relatively fast! And I actually enjoy editing (except I'm usually too worn out to edit much once I finish a chapter ahaha)

17. Writing weaknesses?

My writing is both stiff, and overly descriptive. I'm too judgemental of my own work. I work in short bursts and somehow burn out without doing anything. I hate writing dialogue, and would much rather just describe a character's thought process for several pages. I can't keep my themes, motifs or character arcs straight. I'm disorganized.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fics?

YES HELL YES MIX THOSE LANGUAGES IN. I really love when there's bits of different languages in stories

I will say that I only like it if there's effort put in. Like don't just be all 'haha words I can't understand are sexy'. Put effort in!

Basically, I think slotting other languages into dialogue can be either fantastic or horrendous, depending on how it's done.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I wrote a oneshot where Derby got banished to the moon by a villain, and when the main six defeated the villain they didnt know how to get her back so they just went 'oh well, guess she'll die there' and then there's a time skip of her running into twilight a thousand years later, when the rest of the main six is dead, and twilights like 'how tf are you not dead' and derby was like 'well I once ate this magic muffins that discord made and now I'm immortal' and twilight was like 'wtf'

I wrote that when I was like, a ten or something idk

20. Favorite fic you've written?

hold me close (tmnt2012, a mutant apocalypse oneshot) it has its own little box next to my heart

Time for me to tags some of my buddies!

@i-am-a-living-god @jewishicequeen @eternalscribbles @the-gingerbread-lee

20 questions for fic writers

20 questions for fic writers

I got tagged by @spyscrapper who likes to see me suffer

How many works do you have on AO3? 420. My end of year goal is 425.

What's your total AO3 word count? 442,443

What fandoms do you write for? Anything i can put my fingers in.

What are your top five fics by kudos? Dear lord. Uhm. As of right now (midnight, 11/16/2023) they are The Mouth of Babes at 555. Short Star Wars fic covering the age regression of Anakin Skywalker and a tiny slave dealing out some truths. It has more kudos than it has words. Ner Jupayr Alorir Ni Staabi At Gar «My Path Leads Me Right To You» at 531. Cody/Obiwan alternate Order 66 fic. Ghostwhite at 220, a Lupercalia Star Wars fic where "what if the clones are actually giant psychic wolves" Nekomata at 211. Sword Art Online fic where Sachi wakes up. Runt of the Litter at 192, a Captain America gets a wolf sibling Lupercalia fic.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Sometimes I do in fact remember to do that...

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? nothing more than love and space dust A Rogue One story where Cassian pulls the trigger.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? nothing more than love and space dust A Rogue One story where Cassian pulls the trigger.

Do you get hate on fic? I wouldn't know, that's their problem, not mine ^^

Do you write smut? I certainly TRY.

Do you write crossovers? Absolutely.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? I mean. Probably?

Have you ever had a fic translated? Two! Both into Russian. I'm proud.

Have you ever cowritten a fic before? Yesssss.

What's your all-time favorite ship? ....for... which fandom?

What's a WIP you want to finish but probably won't? Most of them...

What are your writing strengths? I have so many ideas!

What are your writing weaknesses? I have so many ideas.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fics? Please redefine the question?

First fandom that you wrote for? Escaflowne.

Favorite fic you've written? This is a trick question, isn't it? It's like asking who your favorite child is.

I'm not tagging anybody, I'm sorry. If you want to do this, please do!

[joshuas]

facts

♫ pairing: hwang hyunjin x female reader

♫ genre: fluff, crack (seriously, do not question how i came up with this), domestic au, established relationship au

♫ warnings: mentions spiders, and mentions use of alcohol?

♫ word count: 1.5k

♫ prompt: “are you drunk?” “not nearly enough” from this prompt list !

♫ a/n: this was actually a request from @starteez and dedicated to her as a very very belated birthday present <33 hope you like it :)))

♫ summary: hyunjin gets super drunk and has a Crisis, meanwhile you just wanted to watch the latest episode of your favourite drama.

♫ tagging: @jadezircon @mostlikelynotmelissa and @potato2earth - let me know if you would like to be part of the tag list !

You sighed, settling into the couch, tub of ice cream, and tv remote in hand.

It was Friday night. Otherwise known as you and Hyunjin’s drama night, in which you’d watch the latest episode of the most recent drama the two of you were hooked on. However, today, Hyunjin had decided to go out for drinks with Felix, ditching you and your drama night. Initially, you were annoyed (not that he was hanging out with his friends but more so that he messed with your tradition), but you realised that you could just watch it without him. I mean... he was going out and having fun, who’s to say that you can’t do the same by chilling with your favourite characters and finding out about whatever dark secrets they had been just about to reveal in the previous episode. Okay... the latter of that was your main motivation for it. You’re not that lonely or sad.

Nodding resolutely, you scooped your ice cream, settling into the couch as the drama played, your attention fixated on the screen.

The sharp buzz of your phone startled you out of your immense concentration, the caller ID flashing to reveal your boyfriend, Hyunjin.

Your eyes widened in panic, your hands knocking the ice cream off of your lap as you reached around for the TV remote. The phone buzzed continuously, ringing as you fumbled around for the off button, leaving you breathless as you picked up the phone on the final ring,

“He—“

“Y/NNNN~” Hyunjin whined into the phone, his breathing heavy.

“Hyunjin? What’s wrong? Are you crying? ...Are you drunk?” You closed your eyes, only to open them again in confusion as you heard sniffling on the other end of the phone.

“Not nearly e-enough! I-I don’t w-want to be e-eaten.” He sobbed into the phone.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion,

“What?” Your tone coming out sharper than expected, eliciting more sobs from Hyunjin.

“F-felix w-was telling me about how f-female s-spiders e-eat their m-mates, and now I’m scared and I’m n-never coming h-home because y-you’re going to e-eat me.” Hyunjin breathed, between sobs.

...What?

“Excuse me? Why would I eat you. Felix was talking about spiders.” You said, slightly offended by his drunk comparisons.

He breathed deeply,

“Y-you know how the other day we were watching a Marvel movie and y-you k-know what you s-said? You said that the c-character you r-relate with t-the m-most with is Black Widow!” He exclaimed, almost hysterical.

You pinched the bridge of your nose, as he spoke incoherently at the phone, sobs heaving out of him as if he had just witnessed something deeply distressing. Well... what his drunk mind was picturing was slightly distressing, so it made sense.

“Well yes, because she’s a strong, independent female lead. Anyway, you’re too drunk to understand any of that. Hyunjin. Where are you?”

“I’m not telling you! Y-you can’t come to Felix’s house!” Hyunjin attempted to ward you off before realising his mistake a second later. “FELIX! Y/N’s COMING! She’s going to eat us—“

You hung up on him, grabbing your keys and heading out the door... ignoring the melting ice cream on the floor.

As soon as you reached Felix’s apartment you flung the door wide open, apologising profusely as a wincing Felix came out from behind, guiding you to your extremely drunk boyfriend.

Not noticing your entrance, Hyunjin had positioned himself quite... oddly, so that his head was on the rug on the floor but his legs were on the couch, a hand flung dramatically on his forehead, and another hand on the floor, not too dissimilar to someone doing a one-handed snow angel.

He looks like a four-year-old...

You cleared your throat behind him, approaching him tentatively. Whipping around, his eyes widened when they landed on you, panic flashing through them as he scrambled to sit upright.

“What are you doing here?” His words, although slightly slurred, still portrayed fear that was not well-founded at all. How his drunken state got to thinking you were a spider was beyond you, but then again, he was drinking with Felix, so who knows what went down there.

“I came to pick you up since you’re um. Drunk.” You raised your eyebrows, stating the obvious.

“No! You’re not allowed to take me back to your web.” He stumbled forward, couch cushion in hand in an attempt to ward you off.

Web? Oh my god...

“Can you— ugh. I’m not a spider! I’m not going to eat you! You’re my boyfriend, for God’s sake, and I love you, and I’m not a cannibal. Besides, you wouldn’t be very delicious, you’re mostly just muscle.” You sighed, raising your arms in frustration and defeat.

Hyunjin’s eyes widened in offence, placing a hand on his chest and stepping back, tears started to well in his eyes.

“I— oh no. What? Why are you crying again?” You panicked, settling him on the couch, rubbing his back soothingly as you mentally cursed his current over sensitive state.

“Y-you really t-think I w-wouldn’t be d-delicious?” He sobbed louder into your shoulder, as you rubbed soothing patterns on his back.

You rolled your eyes,

He’s so drunk.

“This conversation is so concerning, and one that I want to discontinue at all costs. I'm not a spider, and I'm not going to eat you. I don't want to comment on... that.” You deadpanned.

“How did you guys even get this drunk?” You glanced between Hyunjin and Felix who had emerged from the kitchen, ice pack on his slightly bruised face.

“It was all him. I asked him if he wanted to come over and watch the latest episode of this drama we’re both really into. He started drinking as soon as we started watching because he didn’t want to remember any of it so that when he watches it with you his reactions are genuine. Eventually, he got too drunk to even sit still, so we turned it off and started talking about stuff.” Felix shrugged.

“...and you somehow got to talking about spiders?” You asked, unimpressed.

“We were baking because he wanted to make you cookies, since he felt guilty...for basically watching nothing. I guess he still felt guilty for the action. Anyway, he freaked out after seeing a spider. Hyunjin, plus being drunk and his usual dramatic self is not fun. Especially when spiders are involved. I told him that fact because it was at the top of my head and he gave up on the cookies and started freaking out about you. Speaking of the cookies, I should probably check on them. You need to take this home before the rest of the guys come here if you want to have any of it.” He headed to the kitchen, leaving you and Hyunjin alone in the living room.

“Hyunjin, why didn’t you just stay home if you were just going to watch the drama? You know that today is drama night.” You crossed your arms, directing your attention once again to your sniffling boyfriend.

“I didn’t want to cry in front of youuu,” he sobbed. “I didn’t know what was going to happen next and I thought they might break up and I just...” he trailed off.

“You know that makes no sense right? You’re literally sobbing in front of me now. Also, you’re my boyfriend, I’m supposed to be there for you, tears and all. Besides, we’ll probably both be sobbing if the main characters broke up. We’ve shipped them too much for that to not be devastating.“ You said resolutely, your gaze softening as you looked at him, snuggling closer to you.

“I knowww.”

“Come on, let’s go home. There’s a tub of ice cream waiting for the both of us.”

Your drama night was postponed to Saturday seeing as soon as the two of you arrived at your apartment, Hyunjin collapsed and fell into a deep sleep on the couch... and your ice cream was on the floor, melted and no longer edible.

Leading you to Saturday night, where you and Hyunjin were snuggled together on the couch, wrapped in a blanket burrito, eating the cookies he baked yesterday, alongside a new tub of ice cream, whilst bawling your eyes out.

“I told you,” he sniffed “I knew this would happen.”

Your tear-filled eyes blurred your vision as you tried to focus on the crying characters on the screen, reaching for another tissue,

“I know, but it’s not as bad when we’re watching it together, and besides, these cookies are incredible with ice cream.” You snuggled into him and gave him a watery smile.

“Hey, as long as you’re not a spider and about to eat me, I’m all for our drama nights and cuddles,” Hyunjin smirked.

You pushed him lightly,

“Oh my god... how do you even remember any of the stuff you said? You were ridiculous.”

“I don’t know but the fact still holds.”

“It’s not even a fact! I'm human!”

💫 masterlist !

[mrsalwayswrite]

To Call Forth Love - Chapter 9

Yay! Next chapter! True confessions, this *sorta* slow burn is killing me....and i’m the one writing it! (sorry not sorry?)

Warnings: some swearing, nothing really, Hvitserk being a good bro?

Words:7100 (I hope these longer chapters make up for the wait)

Tag List: @youbloodymadgenius @evelynshelby @pomegranates-and-blood @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @heavenly1927 @zuxiezendler @punkrocknpearls @love-all-things-writing @southernbe​

Series Masterlist

The ringing of her phone had Kari dropping the leggings she was folding on her bed to quickly snatch it up. 

 "Albus!"

 The voice on the other end sighed. "You know I hate that nickname."

 Kari laughed, picking the leggings back up to fold. "But it fits you so perfectly."

 "I am not an old wizard."

 "I'll give you that, but you're studious, kind and too wise for someone your age. So close enough."

 "I suppose if I haven't been able to convince you to drop that nickname for the past ten years, I won't be able to now."

 "Nope." She cheerfully said. "So, how are you? Your mother still wreaking havoc in your life?"

 "She set me up on a date last week." He grumbled after a moment's hesitation. 

 In her mind, she could imagine him sitting at his desk with a slight furrow between his brows and lips pursed as he lamented his mother's involvement in his love life. This would not be the first time he complained to Kari about this topic. "Ohhhh? How did that go?" She asked, even if by his tone she could already guess his answer. 

 "I know my mother means well, but the women she thinks I should date…." He trailed off with a forlorn sigh. 

 "Not your type?"

 "No."

 "I'm sorry. You'll find someone and your mother won't be able to help but love them."

 He snorted inelegantly. "I won't hold my breath for that."

 "See, you're so wise." She teased, smiling as she folded a work shirt. "Now, what else is new since last month?"

 The two spent the next hour talking. It had become their tradition after she moved. Hearing the gentle cadence in his voice, his quiet chuckles, it sent a wave of nostalgia washing over her. He was the only person from England she still kept in communication with, the only one who knew where she was. The last string tying her to her prior life. Although she would not have labeled him her best friend, they were certainly close and even more so after she moved. In their monthly conversations, they would chat about anything new in their lives, TV shows watched, books read, his latest exams in university. He always made sure to inform her what he knew about her family. Something she was grateful for but it always felt like a knife to the heart after. 

 As they talked, she finished folding her laundry, a necessary evil in her opinion. Once done with that, she moved on to the package she received in the mail today. It was addressed to her but the sender was a designer name she would never be able to afford in her lifetime. She shook her head, wondering what surprise the youngest Lothbrok had bought for her. 

 Listening to him regale her with the latest family drama of his, she opened the package and had to muffle a gasp at the two dresses that lay inside. The first was an off-the-shoulder, black skater dress that would reach mid-thigh in length. It was a classy and elegant cocktail dress that reminded her of the dress she wore on her and Ivar's "date" but way more sophisticated and stylish. It was the second dress that made her pause and wonder where Ivar thought she would ever wear something like this. It was a deep red evening gown, the hem long enough to trail slightly on the ground. The dress was gorgeous with a tight bodice and slight flair of the skirt. It was the slit in the skirt that touched her upper thigh and the sheer middle of the bodice that made Kari raise her eyebrows. The gown was the perfect blend of chic and sexy. What was Ivar thinking? She would feel so self-conscious and she never went anywhere fancy enough to wear it. Though as she stared at both dresses, she decided it never hurt to admire them on the hanger, even if she never got the chance to wear them. As her friend continued speaking, she hung both dresses up in her closet, making a mental note to talk to Ivar. 

 "It's probably good your brother moved out last year." She commented, tucking her laundry basket away in her closet. 

 "Yeah. He only comes over to the house if he has to." He said with a resigned sigh. After a long moment of silence, he spoke up again. His voice hesitant, almost remorseful, as what had been obviously on the tip of his tongue finally came forth. "Your mother has been talking about trying to find you again."

 Kari froze, her mind shorting out and heart rate skyrocketing as his statement sunk in. "What…. what did she say?"

 "Not much that I overheard." He confessed, sympathy in each word. "How much she misses her only daughter and feels abandoned by you. She has been telling people that you're doing charity work in another country when they ask about you."

 "It's been almost two years… I hoped…" She slumped onto her bed, legs wobbling and mind whirling. 

 "That your mother would forget about you?"

 "I don't know. I just…. I don't know."

 Silence reigned for a moment before he spoke again. 

 "Are you ever coming home?"

 "I…. I don't think that's home anymore."

 "I miss you." He whispered. 

 Tears welled in her eyes. She took a deep breath forcing them back, but knew her shaky voice betrayed her. "I miss you too. Maybe you can come visit me here?"

 "That would blow your cover."

 "Could we meet up somewhere? You take a vacation or something?"

 "I'll consider it…." His voice trailed off, only to come back stronger. "You know, when you wanted help to leave England, I thought it was just a temporary reprieve. I didn't imagine you would stay away."

 It felt like a knife twisted in her gut, because he was right. She had never thought she would be gone this long. "I know…. I just…. I like my life here. I don't…. I don't want to go back to that."

 He sighed as if giving up on convincing her to return. "I understand. I'll always be here for you. I still think of you as one of my closest friends."

 "Same. We've known each other since we were thirteen. A few countries between us isn't going to stop that."

 He chuckled. "Right. Well, I'll still hold you to your promise. If we're both unmarried by thirty-five, we'll have a courthouse wedding to keep our families off our backs."

 "Sounds good." She laughed out, wiping the tears from her eyes. 

 "I have to go. I'll text you about when we can catch up next month."

 "Perfect. Stay safe, Albus."

 "You too, Abs."

 "Ugh! That nickname is worse than yours!" She groaned, hearing a small chuckle on the other end of the phone. "Bye!"

 After hanging up, she stared at her phone for a minute, the smile fading as her mind revisited the conversation. The weight of everything slammed into her, her body no longer able to support her under the strength of her duress. She crumpled onto her bed, curling into a fetal position, tears streaming down her cheeks. It hurt that England no longer felt like home to her, but neither did where she currently lived. What hurt and confused her most, was when she thought of being home- Ivar's face filled her mind's eye. 

 *****

 "Thank you everyone for coming to class today. I'll see you either tomorrow or next week." 

 With the lights still dim, Kari turned off the soothing water music over the speakers in the yoga studio room. The women who had been laying in corpse pose on their mats began to rise and gather up their personal items. A quiet murmur of voices replaced the music in the enclosed room. She waved at a few of the regulars as they left her class. Even if she was not the one doing all the poses, by the end of class she still felt refreshed and rejuvenated. It always brought her joy to see people come in, stressed or anxious, and leave her class with a smile on their faces or just looking less tense. 

 Through the mirrors along the wall at the front of the room, she could see the tall, statuesque blonde making her way over, yoga mat tucked under her arm. 

 "Hey, you doing anything for lunch?" Gyda asked, coming up beside her. Even in leggings and a tight tank top, she looked like someone off the covers of a women's magazine. All Kari could figure was it was in the Lothbrok blood. 

 "Um, working on inventory?"

 "How about instead you come out to lunch with us?" She motioned vaguely towards Torvi, who was gathering up her yoga mat. "We planned on stopping at that new boutique down the strip. So, we can just meet you for lunch when you're done."

 "Really?" The brunette was startled by the offer. Sure, she had gone out with Gyda a few times but never with Torvi too. The three would chat occasionally before or after class and she liked Torvi's no-nonsense attitude. They had flippantly made comments about the three of them going out but to actually hear they wanted her presence both surprised and warmed her heart. "Torvi is okay with this too?"

 Gyda rolled her eyes. "Yes. So…. Yes? No? Don't leave me in suspense."

 "Yeah, I'd love to."

 "Great. Text me when you're done and we'll meet up."

 "It'll be at least half an hour…." 

 Gyda waved her off, her voice growing louder. "That's fine. Torvi takes forever when she browses anyway."

 "Sorry, I like to think through my purchases before I buy something!"

 Kari smiled at Torvi's retort. The other blonde was checking her phone, a smile on her face though as she peered up at her sister-in-law and her yoga instructor. 

 "Are you joining us?" She called over. 

 "Of course, she is!" Gyda replied, before Kari could respond. "But she's only coming if you swear not to share any stories about you and Bjorn's kinky sex life. Nobody wants to hear that."

 Without a word, Torvi gave her the middle finger salute, before looking back down at her phone. 

 Gyda chuckled then turned to raise an eyebrow at the shorter woman. "Unless you're into that kind of stuff…."

 "Oh gods, Gyda! No!" Her face flushed at the thought. 

 "Hey, it's the quiet ones who are the kinkiest. I bet Ivar would like that." She laughed as Kari tried to swat at her. Taking a step back, she pretended to zip her lips. "Don't worry, your secret's safe with me. Text me when you're done! We can meet at the café down the street. " 

 Kari waved at Torvi as the two blondes walked out of the studio room. Quickly, she hurried to finish tidying up. It had been a long time since she felt this excited to go out to eat with some female friends. A handful of times she had gone out with some coworkers or Lydia. In the beginning she was excited when Alana would invite her out with her friends to a club or bar but Kari quickly learned that was not her scene and began making every excuse possible to not be forced out with them. She always felt like an afterthought amongst the group, especially since getting drunk nor sleeping around was not her style. This time, she had high hopes for spending time with Gyda and Torvi. It would be nice to have female friends again. 

 The door to the studio room opened and Lydia popped her head in. "Almost done? You've got a visitor out here and he's causing quite the distraction." She said with a distinct shit-eating grin and wink before ducking back out. 

 "He?" Kari questioned out loud, although her mind suspected who it was. He was the only one who ever visited her. Slipping her phone into the pocket of her maroon leggings, she gave the room one final survey, wanting it to be ready for the next class before she left. With a nod, she headed out, the door swinging shut behind her. 

 In the large open area, she understood what Lydia meant by 'causing quite the distraction'. If she paused for a moment to drink the sight in, no one could possibly know, right? 

 Ivar leaned his shoulder against a wall, arms crossed over his chest with the sleeves of his dress shirt rolled up to display his toned forearms. His dark locks were pulled back loosely in a man-bun, a few tendrils slipped free. Even in jeans, braces and smart-looking leather shoes, he looked quite handsome. With no cane in sight, it must be a good day. 

 Kari noticed more than one pair of eyes lingering on him from around the studio although he did not seem to notice as he stood there talking with Gyda and Torvi in hushed tones. The latter said something that immediately caused Ivar to narrow his eyes at her as he snapped a comment. 

 Even from across the room, Kari could read the tension in his frame and decided to intervene before he caused a scene. Walking over to them, aware of the many sets of eyes upon the group of three, she fixed a smile on her face. Once those intense, blue eyes locked onto her and his posture softened marginally, her smile transitioned into a genuine grin. "Hey, Ivar, what are you doing here?" She asked, coming to stand between him and Gyda. 

 "Do I need a reason to come see you?" He smirked down at her.

 That look released butterflies in her stomach but she ignored them to tease him back. "Usually that's how it works."

 "And if that reason is to fulfill my quota?"

 The blush that rose to her cheeks was so hot, she wondered if you could fry an egg on her face. Immediately, she dropped her chin to her chest, willing the warmth to vanish. 

 "Hmmm…. that blush for me, kattungen?" He shifted closer so his mouth was near her ear, his question asked in such a lecherous tone, Kari felt her core clench. 

 "Shut up." She mumbled, pushing him away. He rocked back on his heels, a smug grin on his face, and an amused chuckle leaving his lips. 

 Gyda patted Kari's shoulder, drawing the brunette's attention upward again. "Text me when you're done. We'll leave you with this grumpy asshole. I'm sure you can think of a way to cheer him up." She winked as she took a step away. 

 For a moment, Kari wished the ground would open up beneath her. Between Gyda's teasing comments and Ivar's blatant remarks and heated looks, Kari's face was going to be permanently red in an endless flush. 

 "Good luck on your trip, Ivar." Torvi called over her shoulder as she followed Gyda. 

 "Oi! Tell Bjorn to keep his big fucking mouth shut!" He yelled after the blondes; the tension returned with Torvi's parting statement. Glaring at the door the two women passed through, he muttered something in a foreign language as he rubbed his hand over his mouth. Briefly, his thoughts seemed to take him elsewhere but he quickly snapped back, blue eyes finding Kari once again. 

 It was only something she had realized lately, but when he looked at her, that consuming and burning gaze landing on her with all the impact of a sledgehammer, it made her feel like the only woman in the room. It was such a cliché thing, something stupid out of a romance novel, but it was the only way she could describe the feeling. When he looked at her like this, nothing else mattered in the room. She had his whole attention, all his focus. It was heady and powerful and terrifying and astounding. The weight of others watching made her skin itch but with his gaze locked on hers, lips tilted up slightly in the hint of a fond smile, she felt in the eye of a hurricane. 

 Her blue-green eyes dropped to his chest, unable to maintain eye contact when it left her feeling so flustered. Tugging on her earlobe, she quietly asked. "What are you doing here? I thought I wasn't seeing you until you picked me up for dinner tonight?"

 "Something came up." Silently, he reached over and grasped her hand, causing her head to jerk up. Intertwining their fingers, he watched her with regret in his eyes. "I have to fly out to Italy in two hours."

 "Oh. Is everything okay?" That was not what she had expected to hear. Her heart plummeted that their dinner would have to be canceled but tried not to let it show. 

 "Is there somewhere we can talk in private?"

 "Um, sure." Emotions flickering between curiosity and concern, she guided him back to the studio room. The weight of eyes lingered as they walked, especially since he refused to release her hand. A brief glance at the front counter, only to see Lydia and Sasha both staring at her with amused and proud smiles, had Kari trying to hurry out of sight with Ivar in tow. 

 Soon as the door shut behind them, hiding them from view, he pulled her against his body, one arm wrapping around her waist, trapping her against him while the other hand gripped the back of her neck. He kissed her passionately, like a man dying of thirst and only she could save him. 

 "Ivar…." She tried to pull away, aware she was at work and anyone could walk in. Instead, he held her tighter, molding her body to his. The drugging kiss that followed had her all but melting against him, knees weak and her resolve disappearing like smoke in the wind. When she opened her mouth, inviting his tongue to dance with hers, the growl that erupted from him was so thready and rough, it called to a primal part of her, making her warm all over and a tightness grow in her belly. 

 It had been two days since they had seen each other and she genuinely missed him. They had been texting during that time, but it was not the same. She missed his presence, his touch, his kisses, his grumpy comments and the way he made her laugh. Even when he annoyed or frustrated her, he still was the color in her otherwise monochromatic world. And with each day that passed, her desire to push him away fractured a little bit more. 

 When their mouths finally unlocked, both panting and lips swollen and red, she was almost shocked the nearby mirrors were not fogged up. Breathless and overwhelmed, she pressed her forehead to his, her arms around his neck. For a minute they stood there peacefully, only the sounds of their ragged breathing and the occasional noise from those outside of the studio room broke through their tranquility. 

 "What's going on, Ivar?"

 "Something with work." 

 "Does this have to do with why you've been so busy?"

 He sighed but when he spoke in a hushed tone, the rage painting each word was undeniable. "Someone on the inside has been selling information about us." She gasped, shocked but when she tried to pull away to look at him, he tugged her back against him, placing his chin on the top of her head. "I think I know who the fucker is."

 "That's why you're going to Italy?"

 "Hmmm."

 "Will you be safe?"

 That made him chuckle, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Are you worried about me?"

 She thought about making a joke, about teasing him about his recklessness. Instead the question knocked the air from her lungs momentarily, because the truth was, she was. What little she had gleaned about his work when he needed to vent, there was still an element of danger to it. She tipped her face up to look at him, her answer a quiet murmur that did nothing to hide the emotion behind her words. "Yes…. I don't know what I'd do if you got hurt."

 The amusement in his eyes drained to be replaced with a softness that made her heart clench. He inhaled sharply and glanced away for a moment. "Fuck, kitten…." When he turned back, he kissed her tenderly, a slow melding of their mouths like the taste of her was a fine wine he wanted to sip on endlessly. There was a promise in his action, just as much as his words when he finally whispered against her lips. "I'll be safe, just meeting with a contact. That's all."

 "Okay, just please be careful." Worry still tainted her, but she trusted Ivar to keep himself safe. He had been doing this job far longer than she had known him. 

 "Don't tell anyone about what I've said. No one else knows."

 "I promise. Not a word."

 "Good girl." He swatted her ass, making her squeak and glare up at him. "I'm going to have Hvitserk check up on you later."

 "That's not necessary." She tried to say. She would hate to be a waste of time for the older Lothbrok. The look he gave her said to not argue with him. "Fine," she dramatically sighed, "maybe him and I will watch movies and cuddle since you're soooo busy. I wonder if he'd think my bed is comfy enough or if the couch is better?"

 "Don't you fucking dare." He growled, gripping her waist in a possessive hold. 

 She just laughed at how easy he was to wind up. It was mean and she knew it. 

 He nipped at her bottom lip. "Keep playing, Kari and I'll have to punish you."

 "I have no idea what you're talking about." She batted her lashes at him, failing to suppress a childish giggle. 

 He rolled his eyes, the twitch of his lips betrayed his amusement. "I need to go." He softly said though he made no move to release her from his arms. 

 With that a wave of worry and fear cascaded over her, it was unfounded she knew, but it still threatened to drag her into its depths. Not giving it a second thought, she raised up on her toes to plant a lingering kiss on his lips. 

 "You're not helping." He muttered, never removing his mouth from hers. 

 "Maybe take the next flight?"

 "Don't tempt me, vixen. I'll lock that door and have my wicked way with you right fucking here until everyone hears you screaming my name."

 Between the image he painted in her mind and his mouth having moved to her pulse point, heated arousal pooled between her legs. She gulped, her mouth suddenly dry and words sticking to her throat.

 He leaned back, a devious smirk on his lips at her obviously flushed face. "No, my priestess," he purred, a filthy, predatory glint in his blue eyes, she could not help but gasp as her knees threatened to buckle under her. "When I finally have you, it'll be somewhere I can both worship you and fuck you all night long without fear of being interrupted."

 She let out a shaky breath. "But, um…. we…. ah."

 "Soon, Vakker, blir du min." He kissed her roughly, as if sealing his words. "I do need to leave. Walk with me." He took her hand, leading her out of the studio room, giving her no choice but to walk beside him. Not that her brain was fully able to make coherent decisions at the moment. 

 As they walked towards the front of the building, she wondered if their make-out session was obvious. Her lips felt red and swollen and a blush still colored her cheeks. A glance at Ivar showed his lips fuller but he appeared so calm and collected it was unfair. 

 "Did you like the dresses?" He asked, breaking her out of her thoughts. 

 "I do. They both are gorgeous, but they're too much. I don't have a reason to dress up that fancy."

 "With me, you will. I'll get you some casual dresses too."

 "Ivar…." She whined. 

 "You need more clothes, Kari."

 "Fine. Not because I want more clothes but because I know you'll buy them for me anyway."

 He winked at her, his tone smug. "I always get my way."

 "You're unbelievable."

 They stopped beside his SUV, parked next to the sidewalk. His driver was already in the driver's seat waiting. Kari made sure to wave at the man, earning a nod back from him. The driver was a huge guy with long, thick locks of white hair and a scar on his face. He intimidated Kari but she tried to ignore that and be friendly. Even if Ivar made fun of her for it. 

 "I should be back tomorrow unless some shit comes up." Ivar stated, opening the back door. 

 "Okay. Be safe."

 "Stop worrying. Shit. I'll be fine." He remarked, sliding into his seat. Before he closed the door, he met her gaze. "I'll text you."

 She smiled in acknowledgment and stepped back, giving him a quick wave as she headed back inside and his SUV started off.  

 Lydia leaned against the front counter with Sasha and Alicia now, all three watching her with expressions ranging from amused to shocked. 

 "Um, I'm going to…. go on my lunch break now." She mumbled and hurried away to grab her purse from the office, the sounds of laughter following her. 

 The stray thought crossed her mind that she would need some new bras if Ivar was set on buying her new clothes. Not that he would see those bras, but it would be good to have…. and maybe some matching panties.

 *****

 Summer was transitioning to fall, cool undertones intermixed with the residual warmth of a September evening. 

 Kari stared at the book in her lap but the words blurred together no matter how many times she reread the same line. She loved reading outside, sitting on the small patio behind the townhouse, especially when none of the neighbors were out. She could pretend it was her own place of solace, being out in nature. The sunlight shined through the line of pine trees separating their row of townhouses from the ones behind them, bird songs mixed with the sound of traffic from the nearby roads. She much preferred this too being stuck indoors. 

 Today though, her mind drifted like the breeze, but it all centered on a conversation she had not even ten minutes ago. If she listened closely, she could hear Alana through the screen door, making her dinner in the kitchen. She knew it was not Alana's fault, but the conversation still felt like a rug had been yanked from underneath the brunette. With everything going so well in her life, of course fate had to throw her a curveball. 

 Now her mind scrambled as what to do next. 

 A sound from her left had her glance over to see Erik stepping out of his back door. A boyish grin lit up his face when he saw her. 

 "Hi, Kari. Beautiful evening, isn't it?"

 "Yeah. It is." She gave a half-hearted smile, watching as he closed the door behind him and stepped closer. 

 "Mind if I join you?"

 She waved a hand at the patio set. "Not at all." Hopefully talking with Erik would be the distraction she needed for the moment, to pull her out of her quagmire of thoughts. 

 Dropping onto the cushioned chair to her left, he ran a hand through his dirty blond hair. In jeans and a t-shirt, he appeared ready to relax for the evening. 

 "What are you reading this time?" He asked curiously. This would not be the first time he had found her outside reading. 

 She reclined on the two-person, cushioned couch, legs up and bent with her open book resting against her thighs, wearing her typical leggings and slouchy shirt. At his question, she flashed him the cover. "The Princess Bride."

 "Isn't that a movie?"

 She pretended to gasp in horror. "Yes, but the book is still a classic."

 He raised his hands in surrender, grin spreading across his face. “If you say. Not really my taste. So how was your day?"

 "Nothing exciting. Yours?"

 "The usual. Customers thinking they could do my job better than me."

 She winced. "I know the feeling."

 They made small talk for some time, talking about work and a documentary he recommended for her to watch. They argued which was the better coffee shop nearby, something they continuously disagreed on. Soon the upsetting conversation with Alana drifted to the back of her mind. It did not take long for her to close her book and set it on the ground so she could be fully invested in the conversation, especially when Erik became so animated about a topic, his hands waving around like a conductor in his enthusiasm. It was an endearing trait of his, but also alerted her to settle in because it meant he would not need much encouragement to keep talking. 

 The opening of the sliding door behind Kari stunted their conversation.

 "Kari, someone is here for you." Alana said sweetly, stepping out onto the patio. 

 Unsure what she meant and since Kari never had visitors except for Ivar, she finally turned around. Only to be met with the view of Hvitserk leaning against the doorframe, a smirk on his lips. Standing there looking quite handsome in a dark navy business suit with a white undershirt, sans tie. Even his hair was nicely pleated back, making him look very professional and attractive. 

 "What are you doing here?" She asked in surprise, wondering if he just got off work. 

 Pushing off the doorframe, he meandered past Alana to approach Kari's side. "I came to check on you." He answered easily then scooped her up like she weighed nothing, making her squeal, and casually resettled them on the couch. Now he sat where she had been with her tucked against his side and his arm behind her. She also noticed how he purposefully put himself between her and Erik but chose not to comment on that. 

 "Ivar sent you, didn't he?" She grumbled, poking Hvitserk in the chest. "I told him it wasn't necessary."

 "Well, you know him." He shrugged, that teasing smirk still adorning his lips. When she tried to poke him again, he snatched her hand and held it hostage, even as she tried to tug it back. Ignoring her, he turned his attention to Erik. "Hey, man. I'm Hvitserk."

 "I'm Erik. I live next door." He responded warily, eyeing up the man as if debating to be friendly or not. 

 "Ah." With that understanding, Hvitserk seemed to give Erik a more assessing look before peering down at Kari. "You eat dinner yet?"

 "Sorta. I'm not too hungry."

 Alana spoke up from leaning against the other chair. "If you're hungry we can order something, Hvitserk. It's not a big deal."

 Kari's head whipped around to stare at her roommate in shock. Never had Alana played the hostess to Kari or anyone she knew. Then she really noticed the coquettish look of her roommate- the fluttering lashes, the sensual biting of her bottom lip in mock innocence, the way she casually leaned against the chair in a way to best highlight the curves of her body. Kari wanted to sigh. Of course, the only reason Alana pretended to care was to try and entice Hvitserk. An attractive man in their home, it was as if Alana could not help herself. 

 Apparently the flaxen-haired Lothbrok noticed her flirtatious manner also. He tipped his head, eyes blatantly tracing over her body with appreciation. Kari could see the blonde preening under Hvitserk's gaze. 

 "Did I fuck you?"

 What confident, amorous expression on Alana's face dropped in a second. "Excuse me?"

 Hvitserk waved a hand dismissively. "Sorry, you seem familiar but I can't remember…. Did you fuck one of my brothers?"

 Anger transformed her face, making her rigid and lip curled back in a snarl. "Fuck you, asshole." She shrieked, then stormed back inside, slamming the door shut. 

 He chuckled. "Huh. I take that as a yes…. ouch!"

 Kari slapped his chest. "That was extremely rude and insensitive."

 "Why? Because it's the truth?"

 "You can't just…. ask something like that." She turned to look at the closed door, wondering if she should go apologize to Alana and check on her. After a moment's debate, she turned away from the townhouse, figuring seeking out Alana would most likely end up with a door slammed in her face. 

 Hvitserk shrugged, pulling his phone out of his pocket and checking it before slipping it back in.  

 His nonchalance baffled Kari. Did he not care that he just humiliated her roommate? Should she make him apologize? Though she doubted he would. Finally, she settled for just muttering, "you Lothbroks are unbelievable."

 "Oh, are you related to…." Erik's question trailed off. Where he once had been relaxed back in the cushioned chair, now he sat tensely, one of his hands tapping his knee repeatedly. 

 "Ivar? Yeah, he's my brother." Hvitserk said with a knowing smirk. 

 "He's, um…"

 "A crazy, mad bastard? Yeah. Don't recommend getting on his bad side."

 "I was going to say intense."

 Hvitserk threw his head back as he laughed. Even Kari smiled at the hesitant way Erik answered. Intense was an understatement for the youngest Lothbrok. "Yeah, he's family." 

 Erik then motioned between Kari and Hvitserk. "So are you two…. just friends?"

 Before Kari could explain, Hvitserk jumped in to answer. 

 "Ivar and I share her."

 Immediately Kari choked on air due to his candid response. Her gaze darted to Erik in horror, seeing his jaw dropped and eyes wide as saucers. Beside her Hvitserk cackled like a hyena at both of their expressions. 

 "That's not…. ugh! No!" Kari tried to speak, once she could functionally breathe again, only to cover her face as her words tumbled out of her mouth inelegantly. 

 "Awww, come on, Kari. You know I'm teasing." The elder Lothbrok tugged her hands away from her face, which only caused her to bury her face in his shoulder. "We know Ivar doesn't share. But if you ever get tired of his cranky ass, I'll be more than willing to show you a good time."

 "Oh my god." She mumbled to herself, completely mortified. The evening had been going so well, and now…. all of this. Whose grave had she accidently stepped on today? 

 Erik awkwardly cleared his throat as he rose to his feet. "Um, I'm going to go."

 "I'm so sorry, Erik." She elbowed Hvitserk when he refused to release her hands, earning an 'oof' from him. Turning her body to give Erik her full attention, she continued, hoping this had not ruined their friendship or his night. "I know this is last minute but do you think you can give me a ride to work tomorrow? If you don't want to, that's fine, especially after all of this, I wouldn't blame you."

 "No, no. I mean, sure. It's not a problem. Just, ah, text me when you're ready."

 She smiled gratefully at him. "I will. Have a good night, Erik!"

 "You too, Kari." He gave her his signature boyish grin. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he looked at Hvitserk. "Nice meeting you."

 "Yeah, nice meeting you too." He said back, draping his arm once again behind Kari. 

 Erik gave Kari another brief smile before disappearing back inside his townhouse, the door sliding quietly shut behind him. 

 Hvitserk continued to stare where Erik disappeared for a long minute before muttering, "boy better watch himself."

 "What are you talking about?" She sighed out, feeling the lurking sensation of a stress headache coming on.  

 "He wants to fuck you. Ivar won't like that."

 "What is with…. No. I'm ignoring all of that." She pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes. "Ugh, my evening was going so well until an hour ago."

 "What happened? That guy showed up to bother you? Want me to tell him to lay off?" His questions came out in rapid-fire, concern infused in his voice. 

 "No, Erik is fine. It's …. it's nothing like that."

 "So, what happened?"

 "Nothing important. Have you heard from Ivar?"

 He raised a brow at her dismissal but changed the subject. "Yeah, looks like he got what he needed so he'll be back tomorrow morning."

 "Oh good."

 "Hmmm…. which means he'll want to take you out tomorrow."

 "He bought me some dresses." She softly confessed, fiddling with her diamond stud earring. 

 "I'd recommend wearing one of those."

 She swatted at him, only to mirror the easy grin on his face. After a moment, she asked, "I just…. is it weird for him to do that?" 

 "What?"

 "Buy me stuff."

 "Does it bother you?"

 "I don't know."

 "If you want my advice, I'd say to let him." He lifted a finger to silence her protest. Her mouth snapped shut at his pointed look. Once he was sure she would not interrupt him, he spoke. "Ivar has never been good with…. verbally expressing affection, something I am sure he learned from our father. So he buys gifts, something he can touch and control. If he's buying you gifts, not out of obligation but because he wants to spoil you, then you mean a lot to him."

 She pondered his words and how she felt about them. Never did she want Ivar to feel taken advantage of by her, especially in regards to his money. She would rather tear her own heart out than make him feel used again. It grated slightly how freely he wasted money on her. The dresses were lovely, something she could only dream of having with her current salary. But she worked hard for her life, to be independent. Even whenever they went out to eat together, he never let her pay for her own meal. She had given up that fight already but this…. It felt different. Yet what Hvitserk said slunk back to the forefront of her mind. If this was his way of showing affection, of letting her know he cared about her, would it do more damage to refuse his gift?

 "How did you become so insightful into Ivar?" She teased, deciding to think about this more later. 

 He laughed, flicking her ear with the hand he still had behind her. "Out of necessity. I don't think anyone can fully understand him, not even himself."

 "He's complex." She agreed. 

 "That's a nice way of putting it." He tipped his head to the side to meet her gaze. "Now, tell me what happened earlier."

 "You're not going to let this go, are you?"

 "Ivar told me to check on you. If I left you trying to hide tears and he found out, he'd probably break my hands or legs, not sure how particular he would be."

 Biting her bottom lip, she debated blowing him off again. It was not his problem, she could deal with her own issues. But there was something about Hvitserk that made her feel comfortable around him. Even though he was under no obligation, he seemed to actually care about her. 

 Finally, she gave in with a sigh, laying her head against his shoulder. "Alana said…. Um, this townhouse belongs to her uncle. Him and his family moved into a bigger home and instead of selling this place decided to rent it out for a little extra cash. The rent is minimal, since he isn't renting to really make a profit. It's honestly the only way I've been able to afford being here. Well, Alana told me earlier that he is having to increase our rent. She didn't really tell me why but now it's going to be an extra 300 a month…. and I don't have that. So unless I want to find somewhere new to live, it kind of looks like I need to get a second job."

 He waited a moment before flatly stating, "have Ivar pay the extra. Fuck, he'd probably pay your whole rent if you asked him too."

 "No! I don't want that!" She sat up so fast, it was a miracle she did not fall off the couch. Her eyes turned to the brother beside her, wide and pleading. "Please don't tell him, Hvitty! I don't want him thinking I'm using him for his money. I…. I need to do this on my own somehow. I'll figure it out, honestly. I just wasn't expecting this to happen, that's all."

 "You really don't care about our money, do you?"

 "No." It broke her heart a little at the shock in his questioning tone. Did any of them ever expect someone to care about them without the influence of their money? 

 He stared off into the distance before looking back at her with a solemn expression. "I'll make you a deal. I won't say anything to Ivar about this, but if you are struggling, even if it's just one month's payment, you come to me and I'll help until you get your head above water again, got it?"

 "Why would you want to help me?" She quietly asked, meeting his gaze. 

 He smirked. "I like you. You're genuine. Plus, you're also great for Ivar. I'd like you to stick around and if this is one way to help with that, it's an easy solution." He narrowed his eyes at her as she started to protest again. "Don't fight me on this."

 "You Lothbroks are unbelievable. Fine." She laid her head back on his shoulder. "Thank you, Hvitserk…. and thanks for coming to check on me."

 "Anytime. You've got my number. Just cause you're Ivar's woman doesn't mean we can't be friends. But my offer still stands, if you get sick of him, I'll be the first to snatch you up."

 She laughed, heart feeling lighter than it had all afternoon. "Stop. I'm not Ivar's woman."

 "You keep telling yourself that."

 They sat quietly for a few minutes, watching the sky change colors. 

 "Mmmm…."

 "What?" She looked up at him. 

 He peeked down at her with a shit-eating grin. "I still can't remember if I fucked your roommate or not."

 "Gods, Hvitserk!"

 *****

 Before she fell asleep that night, she checked her phone one last time. A jolt of elation shot through her when she saw an unread text from Ivar. Her fingers fumbled with how quickly she tried to unlock her phone to read the text. 

 Ivar: good nite, kitten. C u 2morrow.

 A silly smile on her face, she replied. 

 Kari: sweet dreams, Ivar.

 After that, she plugged in her phone and curled up under her covers. Relief and excitement bled into her veins, allowing her to drift off to sleep with thoughts of the dark-haired Lothbrok coming home to her.