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byeoltoyuki · 3 years

Text

Make It Right ⇾ JHS

↳Pairing : You x Hoseok

Genre : Fluff / Angst if you squint / fake dating if you squint

Words: +17k

Warnings : Oral (f), tying

Summary: Sometimes all you need is some pretending.

A/N: Surprise! I'm not dead (yet). I know I have my Jimin's story to work on, but sometimes my brain refuses to cooperate with me fml.

One day i swear i'll be on time. Happy Birthday again babe! @hopikoya

Going to a club one week before your exams was probably the worst idea ever. You knew it. Your boyfriend apparently knew it too but still insisted to go which resulted in you going too because come on, you didn’t want to be a party pooper (his words, not yours). You loathed the idea; you weren’t particularly fond of clubs to begin with, half of the time you went for the sake of your boyfriend and half of the time you would sip on your drink at the bar and watch him have fun with his friends, ignoring your existence while you were bored to death.

Just like tonight. Except tonight, there was something in the air, something bad and ominous. Your guts were telling you to go back home, forget about your boyfriend, have fun by yourself instead of staying at the club at two in the morning where half of the crowd was drunk if not completely wasted.

But did you listen to the little voice in your head? Of course not.

From your favorite (not so much) spot at the club, you sipped your second mojito while watching your boyfriend, Hyeonwu, having fun. From the way he was moving, you were certain he had drunk more than he could handle - you sighed at that, knowing beforehand that the night would be very long. You should have stayed home.

But you didn’t and for what? For a relationship that was doomed from the very beginning. Hyeonwu and you were different, too different even. He was outgoing, popular, arrogant from time to time (it stung to admit it to yourself).

Everything you weren’t.

You didn’t like clubbing, you didn’t like being the center of attention but because you liked him, because he chose you, you accepted to sacrifice everything you were for him.

Tonight was one of those nights, your heart was aching, your mind was restless and you couldn’t help but think that this relationship had to stop before you would get hurt. More than you already were.

Ironically enough, Hyeonwu was the one to give you a good reason for finally snapping from your role of the perfect, innocent and docile girlfriend. Instead of asking you to dance with him (you weren’t even sure he remembered he came at the club with you), he found himself another girl to dance with, a girl willing to be what you couldn’t: daring, provocative and would say yes to anything.

You would have accepted to put up with his behavior if only his hands didn’t roam around her body the way it would with you. If he didn’t start kissing her neck as if he wasn’t taken, as if you weren’t in this club too.

You couldn’t do it.

"Excuse me," You called for the bartender. "Can I have a glass of water please?"

He eyed you, annoyed with your request but pushed the glass of water towards you nevertheless.

You didn’t thank him for that considering how rude he was to you anyway, instead you started walking towards them while you still had the courage, while your blood was still boiling and you felt like punching him from stomping your heart.

Once you were close enough, you emptied your glass right at Hyeonwu, he was the one you were aiming, the one who had angered you but the girl got splashed anyway too. They both jumped, the girl shrieking loudly (even with the loud music you heard her) while Hyeonwu groaned and checked his clothes.

"The fuck." He was mad, even in his drunken state he was mad and his eyes found yours quite soon.

A nice boyfriend would have apologized right away; would have felt bad about what he did but Hyeonwu? No. The sight of you only made him angrier.

"What do you think you’re doing, woman?" He growled at you and took a dangerous step towards you.

"Me?" You scoffed at his words. And here you became the villain when really, you were the victim.

And then he took another dangerous step that should have scared you if you weren’t so angry yourself. "Yes, you, Y/N."

"Don’t you dare blaming me, babe." You swore to yourself it would be the only time you would accept to make a scene while being surrounded by strangers. The only time you would want to be the center of attention, because you wanted him to feel bad, to feel humiliated for what he had done.

He didn’t of course.

"Oh please. Always ruining the fun for others. Aren’t you tired?" He scoffed in return.

"Ruining the fun?" You repeated to yourself, words sounding foreign to you. How were you ruining the fun when he was being unfaithful? Certainly your relationship wasn’t what it used to be but still. How could he? By the time you wanted to snap back at him, he was back by the other girl’s side, checking on her.

"You got to be kidding me."

"Hyeonwu." The girl warned him about you getting dangerously closer to them.

In that moment, maybe you had underestimated Hyeonwu’s state. Maybe you had also underestimated your own state. And maybe, finally, you had completely misjudged the person who you used to date. The words died on your tongue as Hyeonwu raised his hand - you shut your eyes tightly, ready for the slap, for the wakeup call.

But it never came.

Surprised, heart roaring in your ears, you opened your eyes but not quite ready to see what was right before your eyes. Someone, in this mess, chose to stand up for you. Before Hyeonwu’s hand could reach your face, a man interfered. A man you couldn’t see except for his back, for his dark brown hair.

Your first thought was that you couldn’t believe Hyeonwu would go as far as try to hit you. Your second thought was about the crazy stranger who, without being asked, chose to stand up for you. It was dumb and dangerous and so not his business but for a short moment it made you feel safe.

“Who the hell are you?” Hyeonwu yanked his arm free from the stranger’s grip, annoyed and more than willing to fight.

But the stranger didn’t seem fazed or impressed despite all the muscles and for Hyeonwu being taller than him. “What kind of man are you? You were about to hit a woman, I couldn’t possibly stand aside and watch it.”

Despite your anger, despite your pain, his voice stirred something inside you; it was strangely familiar and brought a fuzzy memory to your mind. But it couldn’t be, you told yourself. There was no way, so you chose to shove back the memory and concentrate on your present.

“How chivalrous of you but I suggest you to mind your damn business instead of mingling with mine.” Hyeonwu took a step towards him but was quickly held back by the other girl who looked nervously at the two man. At least she didn’t want it to get messier.

“Please don’t.” She begged him.

You shook your head, whispering a ‘no’ and a ‘it can’t be’ as your eyes darted back and forth between Hyeonwu and the girl. And here you thought Hyeonwu was too drunk, thought he had picked a random girl. He didn’t. He so obviously didn’t but somehow, all this time you managed not to see what was right under your nose. Your anger vanished as fast as it came; defeated you had no more strength left to fight Hyeonwu, no more strength left to make him understand how cruel he was to you when all you ever did was try to please him.

Home. You wanted to go home. Except and sadly for you, you lived with him.

“Fine.” You heard Hyeonwu, “Whatever.”

He left. Without a word, without a single glance, making it look like you didn’t exist. You swallowed your tears, your pain, refusing to crumble in a damn club.

Once sure Hyeonwu wouldn’t try to go back on his word, your savior turned to look at you. If you weren’t feeling so down, so empty, you would have realized sooner that the stranger was more familiar than you thought. If you weren’t worrying about your future, you would have noticed how he opened his mouth to speak – you chose the same moment to turn your back and leave. You needed to escape for the sake of your sanity. Or what was left of it.

In your misery, you happened to be quite lucky. When the next day you got back to your shared flat, Hyeonwu was nowhere to be seen and for that you were thankful. You didn’t know whenever it was intentional on his behalf or if he had simply stayed somewhere else, either way it gave you enough time to gather all your most important belongings and leave this place.

It hurt. Your heart, your pride, but you told yourself it was for the best.

Mina welcomed you at her tiny place with opened arms. She didn’t ask for details, giving you time to adjust and sort your thoughts; she would listen when you needed it. She always did.

Mina’s flat was small but cozy, filled with plants of all sorts, with fluffy blankets on wooden chairs, on the couch, with candles all around the place. It was the dream of any witches in your opinion, but it felt like home and just like her.

As you came back with your suitcase, you were greeted with a soft meow, followed by Mina’s fluffy black and white cat that Mina chose to call Pie because she kept saying cutie pie (you had rolled your eyes at that).

“Hello there.” You kneeled to Pie’s level and rubbed its head.

“There you are!” Mina came out of the kitchen, wearing a cute pink apron. She beamed at you and showed you the way. “I freed three shelves for you.”

It was sweet and you were grateful to have such a good friend but you didn’t intend to stay. Not for long at least. Hopefully.

“I know that look.” She interrupted your trail of thoughts. “You don’t bother me, don’t worry. Take your time.”

You smiled.

By some odds, your big brother was back in the country which was a good thing because you hadn’t seen him for whole two years and living with him could be nice. Back when you used to live together, you were partners in crime, driving your parents crazy. So of course, when you received one morning his message telling he was back, you jumped on the opportunity and asked to meet him.

When you got to the café, it took you less than two seconds to spot your brother. How could you not when few females were openly flirting with him. That brought back some goods memories; you smiled and shook your head in feign despair. Some things just never change.

“I see your popularity is still no joke despite you being an old man now.”

Your voice made him forget all about the women around him. He jumped from his chair, too excited and bounced on you (attracting even more attention on both of you). You laughed at his eagerness as his arms circled tightly your waist – Jimin lifted you from the floor and spun you around laughing along with you.

“I’ve missed you so much!” Jimin put you back on the floor but his arms stayed around you. He was beaming, so happy, eyes twinkling at the sight of you. “Look at you.” His hand found your cheek, fingers stroking gently your skin which brought back flashes of memories of your younger days. “Not a kid anymore, are you?”

Your brother was being dramatic. “Oh come on. I didn’t change that much!” But maybe you did, in a way.

Jimin led you to a chair before taking place before you. “You did.”

“And you’re being dramatic.”

“That too.” He smiled sheepishly at you. “And for your information, I’m not old.”

Such a familiar and warm smile – you had missed him a lot.

For a moment, you forgot all about why you were so eager to see him. For a moment, it was just you and your brother and you wanted to catch up with him. “How was it?” Your eyes shone brightly, curious and excited to hear his stories. “How was England?”

“Rainy. Cold.” He chuckled at that. Jimin put his elbows on the table and rested his head in the palm of his hand. “But it was interesting. I will definitely go back there.”

“And leave us again!”

“Oh you missed me that much, pumpkin?”

“Of course I did! Nobody annoys me as much as you do.”

“Not even your boyfriend? What was his name again? Hyeo-, I don’t remember.” Another time you would have rolled your eyes at him because Jimin did remember Hyeonwu’s name, he just didn’t like him that much. But then again, he never liked your boyfriends. This time, however, you didn’t roll your eyes, you didn’t sigh in despair. No, you flinched and clenched your fists under the table.

Jimin noticed the change in your mood instantly. He frowned, taken aback. “What is it, Y/N?” Jimin asked despite having an idea of what had happened while he was away. “Do I need to punch someone?”

For a short moment, you allowed yourself to smile as you imagined your adorable but idiot of brother trying to fight with Hyeonwu who was much taller and stronger than him. “Don’t be ridiculous.” But it felt nice knowing that your brother still had your back.

“Oh but I’m very serious. “

This time you rolled your eyes. “You’re just looking for a fight.”

Jimin pointed at himself in fake disbelief. “Never!”

But you knew better. “I need a place to live.”

At first Jimin seemed confused and you quickly realized your mistake. Nobody, including your parents, were aware that you chose to live with your, well now ex-boyfriend for the past year. You gulped as you saw Jimin’s jaw twitch, eyes darkening with every passing seconds. To say that your big brother was not delighted would be the understatement of the century. But for once, instead of cowering in fear (because your brother could turn from a ball of fluff to a very angry and scary man), you huffed and chose to ignore his behavior. “Oh don’t judge me, will you? I already have enough on my plate.”

Jimin opened his mouth (probably to say something mean) but close it right away. He closed his eyes, counted to ten and then looked at you again. “Where are you staying now?”

“With Mina.”

Jimin hummed in response. “Good, good. I guess you want to move in with me then?”

He, of course, said yes.

Living with Jimin was nothing like you thought it would be. You expected him to set rules for you to make sure you wouldn’t disturb his life too much with your presence. You expected not to see much of him because your big brother was a busy man (and you were convinced it wasn’t only because of work). But none of that happened. No, living with Jimin felt like being back at home, minus parents’ presence of course.

Jimin did everything in his power to make you feel at ease. He let you redecorate the spare room, the kitchen, the living room, not caring whether the outcome would suit his taste or not as long as it meant you felt at home.

You had the best brother in the world.

"Hey pumpkin," Jimin called for you from his room, he was getting ready. "My friends are coming over. I hope you don’t mind."

You scoffed as you leaned against the door, rolling your eyes at him. No, really, why would he think it would bother you when he was being so nice. "And if it bothers me, are you going to take your little boys’ night to another place?"

Jimin froze for a short moment, pondering on your question. You worried for a minute that he took you seriously but he grinned and you relaxed. "I’d have to get rid of you actually. Maybe I’d lock you in your room."

"You don’t have a key."

"I actually do."

Now you were worried which didn’t go unnoticed by Jimin because he laughed, hard.

"I would have found a solution." Jimin finally said and got closer to you. He put his hands on your shoulders and gave it a squeeze. "This is your place too."

You shook your head in half disbelief, refusing to show him how his words made your heart swell with love and pride to have Jimin for your brother. "Ts, so annoying." You smiled nevertheless. "So, who’s coming?"

Jimin’s grin only widened. "You probably remember some of them! We’ve been friends since high school."

And remember them you did.

To say that you were mortified at the fact that the stranger from the other night stood in the middle of the living room, talking and smiling brightly at your brother, would be an understatement. Your heart leapt in your throat as one more realization finally dawned on you.

This man. This very handsome, with bright smile man, was no stranger at all. No, this man was no other than Jung Hoseok, one of Jimin’s best friend. But Hoseok wasn’t only Jimin’s friend. No, you remembered all too well how you had felt for years about him.

He was your crush. Your personal sunshine who loved teasing you whenever you were in the room. How you managed to not recognize him that night, you didn’t know and you tried not to think much about it either. For the sake of your broken heart.

The Hoseok from your memory and the Hoseok standing now, despite being the same person, felt extremely different. He was still of course as handsome, as shining but despite his huge smile, despite his laugh, there was something dark about him and you couldn’t tell whether it was a good or a bad thing.

Hoseok’s eyes found yours; something flashed through his eyes, maybe he recognized you as just Jimin’s sister or maybe he recognized you from that night, either way, your treacherous heart missed a beat and you found yourself blushing under his gaze.

Jimin noticed his attention had shifted. One look at you and his eyes shined brighter than ever. "Guys! I think you all remember my cute little sister, Y/N?" Then he double checked you, "Though she’s not little anymore."

"I’m still cute though." You cut him before he could make fun of you. To that Jimin only chuckled.

"Y/N!"

Too stunned with Hoseok, you barely noticed that two other men were in the room and you happened to remember them too. Namjoon and Taehyung - you waved shyly at them.

It was strange to meet them again after such a long time. Despite being curious about them, about what they had become, your eyes were once again on Hoseok and to your utter surprise he was still watching you with a knowing smile. God. You came to realization that you had to avoid him and avoid being alone in the room with him, too scared of what could happen.

Through the night, you had found out many useful and not so useful information such as your brother was still a complete dork whenever he was surrounded by his friends, it was as if he hadn’t aged a day (which made you smile fondly at him and joke around). Then, you found that Namjoon became a scientist - not a surprise. The Namjoon you remembered always carried a bag with books too complicated to understand for average people (or ‘for poor mortals like us’ was what Jimin used to say).

Taehyung, and probably to his parents’ dismay, chose the life of an artist; he became a photographer and travelled the world. That didn’t surprise you that much either. You expected him to become a model, nobody could ignore a face like his, but apparently Taehyung enjoyed being the one to take photos.

"Aren’t you going to ask me what I became?" Hoseok asked from his chair, hand on his heart, he feigned being incredibly offended and hurt (apparently, he didn’t like being ignored, especially by you).

You chewed on your lip, weighting the risks; if you snapped at him, Jimin would know you had met Hoseok somewhere and you didn’t feel like explaining yourself but if you kept ignoring him - it would be risky too. So you put on a big, fake smile on your face and looked at him. "What about you, Hobi?"

A glint of something dark and dangerous lit in his eyes, only few seconds and it was gone. But you saw it. You shivered but refused to show any of it. There was no way you could still be crushing on him, you told yourself. But apparently your brain and your body didn’t quite agree on that.

Hoseok chuckled. "I’m delighted to hear my nickname. Nobody had called me ‘Hobi’ for a while."

Jimin cleared his throat but before he could say anything else, Taehyung stepped in. "I call you Hobi every day though."

Ha!

Hoseok shot Taehyung’s a nasty gaze that would have sent any normal person cowering in fear but Taehyung only blew a kiss before winking at you. Well, that was something.

Defeated, Hoseok ran his fingers through his hair. "Yes, that you do. But you’re not a fine lady, Taehyung." Then he looked at him, up and down, "Unless you’re hiding something from us?"

Taehyung eyed him for a moment. "Do you want to see my dick to be sure I’m a man?"

That made all of them relax and laugh - you included.

"So?" You looked at Hoseok, smiling more sincerely at him. "What do you do, Hobi?"

He looked surprised but quickly regained his composure and smiled back. "I actually work with Jimin."

"Poor souls." Was your only comment which made Jimin slap your arm.

"You look better." Hoseok’s voice startled you and the cup slipped from your hands but fortunately for you he was fast to catch it before it could shatter. You cursed under your breath; cursing both Hoseok for taking you by surprise and yourself for being so jumpy because of him. "Sorry. I didn’t want to scare you."

You straightened your back with a huff; Hoseok looked too smug for your liking. "The only thing that scares me is your eyes." Which was half true. His eyes did something to you that you didn’t quite like.

"What about them?" But you refused to answer that; there was no way Hoseok wasn’t aware of what he was doing and you refused to play his little game. Which made you wonder, was he always like this?

"What about them, Y/N?" He repeated.

Hoseok took a step towards you and you step back and repeated till your back hit the table and you found yourself trapped between Hoseok and the table. He was playing a dangerous game and you shouldn’t let him but there was something so alluring - you couldn’t resist.

He had his arms at each side of you, hovering over you. This was definitely not the Hoseok you were used to.

You licked your lips nervously, eyes darting back and forth between his eyes and his very inviting lips. You had to be mad to even contemplate the idea of kissing him, it would be so easy. "When did you become so daring?"

Hoseok actually chuckled at that. "I always was. I just didn’t want to scare you back then; you were such a cute little girl."

"You’re just seven years older, I wasn’t a little girl back then." You were but the stubborn part of you refused to let him win and apparently Hoseok realized it too as he laughed.

"The last time I saw you, you were eighteen. Was it at your birthday party?" He got a hold on a strand of your hair, twisting it, curling around his finger, he was lost in his memories - he smiled and looked straight into your eyes. "Jimin got mad at you because you wore an incredibly revealing electric blue dress."

Your breath hitched in your throat. How could Hoseok remember something that had happened five years ago? Something you would have forgotten if not for Jimin’s scolding.

"Can’t blame him. If I was in his shoes, I would have thrown you over my shoulder and brought you back to your room to change." He brought the strand closer to his lips and you swore your heart missed a beat.

Fuck. You were still crushing on him.

"Now, since I’m not your brother, I can tell you that I enjoyed the view." Then, he leaned closer till his warm breath reached your ear. "And I wished I could do more than just watching from afar."

Shit.

But that was it. No matter how much Hoseok wanted to toy with you, there were limits (or more exactly, there was a Jimin) - he took a step back. "Sorry, sorry. I can’t help it; you look just as easy to tease as back then."

That was your wake up call. You jolted from your place and put as much space as you could between Hoseok and you. You looked at him with mixed feelings. A part of you enjoyed hearing those words, those confessions from him, on the other hand his behavior made your blood boil with anger. How dared he?

You stormed out of the room, deciding that there was no way you could deal with this Hoseok tonight. Or any other night.

Later, however, you found a tiny piece of paper along with a phone number and instead of throwing it in the bin, you hid it safely in your sketchbook.

"I’m glad to see you’re not doing your puppy eyes to Hoseok anymore." Jimin plumped on the bed beside you, disturbing your peaceful drawing moment. The mere mention of Hoseok made you tighten your grip on your pencil and by some miracle it didn’t break under your strength.

Jimin noticed it and cocked a brow at you. "Interesting." He nudged your leg with his feet to get your attention - you refused to acknowledge his presence if he wanted to talk about this annoying friend of his. "You used to follow me everywhere as long as Hoseok was around."

No, you wanted to protest but then, that would be a lie. You did follow Jimin as much as you could only to be able to see Hoseok (even if half of the time you couldn’t muster the courage to talk to him which only amused both of your brother and Hoseok).

"Back then I thought it was cute. Annoying too, but I couldn’t even get mad with you."

"Is it heading somewhere or?" You finally looked at him and you regretted it instantly. Jimin had a smirk plastered on his face which was bad omen for you. "Whatever you’re about to say, don’t. Get out."

"Oh come on, pumpkin!" He nudged you again. "I won’t talk about embarrassing memories." He promised which was probably not his initial plan. "However, what was this all about with Hoseok earlier?"

Jimin was too observant, you used to know it but somehow it had escaped your mind.

You sighed in defeat, closed your sketchbook. "Nothing." That didn’t sound as convincing as you expected - you cleared your voice, awkwardly. "Maybe I was embarrassed with how I used to be around him."

"Hm." Jimin didn’t sound convinced but shrugged, choosing for once that he could live with it. "Fine." He jumped from your bed, "But just so you know, I don’t believe you."

You simply stuck your tongue out and let him leave.

Yes, it was good living with Jimin.

Mina chocked on her Frappuccino, not believing your words. “You’re kidding, right?” But seeing that you kept your face straight, Mina understood that it was not some kind of joke. “You’re not kidding.” She wiped her mouth with a tissue and then really looked at you. “Well shit.”

You snorted. ‘Well shit’ was almost your initial reaction too. Except it had changed. A little. Or not. The moment Hoseok had showed his true colors, you forgot all about your crush and just wanted to smash his pretty little head. That was a lie. You didn’t want to smash his head, you wanted something else but refused to admit it to yourself.

“Is it what people call fate?” Mina wondered out loud, ready to elaborate her theories (to your biggest dismay). “Not only your savior was, is a hot mess-“

“I never said he was hot! I only said I used to crush on him when I was younger.” You regretted your outburst the moment it left your mouth as Mina’s wicked grin only widened.

“Potato, potato.” Mina wiggled her finger at you. “And this same hot stranger is actually your brother’s best friend and the guy you used to crush on. This is fate.”

“This is bullshit.” You snapped back but Mina didn’t seem fazed with your attempt to protest and prove her wrong. Maybe you could try harder but sadly, you knew she was a lost cause and because you did believe it was a rather nice coincidence.

The mere thought of Hoseok made your blood roar in your ears as images from the last time with him flashed through your mind. It had been days and there must be something wrong with you because no matter how hard you tried you would think about him, about how close he got to you when you were trapped between his body and the table.

“What are you going to do about him?” Mina resumed sipping on her drink but she was watching you, gawking at you.

“Nothing.” What could you possibly do? Even if he was Jimin’s friend (which was already a big deal) and even if Hoseok seemed inclined to flirt shamelessly with you, you didn’t know him well enough and you were scared of who he was. Scared but intrigued. And maybe tempted.

“I don’t believe you.”

“You should.”

“Is it about Hyeonwu? It’s over. You need to move on.” And because Mina knew all too well, she raised her hand to stop you from snapping at her. “I know you loved him. And I’m not telling you to pursue that hotmess or even fall for him. I’m just saying that a little distraction can be very helpful. And from what you’re telling me, this dude seems to be into this kind of distraction.”

You thought about this option for a moment, slumping further in your seat. Mina was right, it could be helpful but it didn’t change the fact that Hoseok was Jimin’s best friend; it was too dangerous to consider. You shook your head in defeat but before you could share your mind, two men stepped inside the café.

Two all too familiar men.

Two incredibly annoying men too.

You bit on your lips hard before letting a groan out. “You got to be kidding me.”

Mina followed your gaze, curious at your sudden change of behavior – what she saw did not disappoint her. She easily recognized one of the two men; she had seen some old pictures of you and Jimin and she must admit that you both looked quite alike. The second man, however, she did not recognize but judging from your reaction she had a little guess.

“The blond one is your brother I suppose?” You nodded, half hearing her, your eyes were on them. “And the other one is…?”

“Hoseok.” You regretted whispering his name. It was as if, despite the chattering around you, despite the music, he still heard you – his eyes were on you. Fuck.

But maybe for once you were lucky. Hoseok only winked at you (which didn’t go unnoticed by Mina) and turned back to Jimin who was, surprisingly, oblivious to the little exchange.

Mina whistled before averting her eyes. "I must say, it’s one thing to see your brother in photos and find him cute - but damn girl, he’s hot as hell. Can I have his number?"

"Fuck off."

She laughed.

Another day, another party and another regret. Clearly, last time should have been enough for you for many reasons but when Mina begged you to go with her, how exactly were you supposed to say no? She promised to not stay long which you believed her; Mina at least had control over time she spent dancing and drinking and she would never leave you alone unless you asked her to. It was why you said yes.

The regret came once you were inside.

It was a birthday party of one of a guy from your class whose name you had already forgotten but he sure as hell was famous considering how crowded and noisy it was.

"Oh it’s going to be so much fun!" Mina almost squealed beside you. She flipped her hair and winked playfully at you. "Let’s grab a drink babe."

You had to admit that despite the crowd, despite the place being noisy, the music was good and you couldn’t possibly say no to free snacks (and drinks) and maybe Mina’s enthusiasm was slowly rubbing on you as you found yourself smiling.

That was until a very familiar voice echoed from somewhere near you. Mina froze on the spot, two drinks in her hand - so did you. Hyeonwu was at the party which you should have expected. He was a social butterfly, of course he would go to a big birthday party.

You closed your eyes, took a deep breath and counted till ten. Mina got to your side and handed you the drink (that was incredibly needed).

"Is killing still forbidden in this country?" Mina joked though she did look like she was about to murder someone in cold blood.

"Sadly." You patted her back. There was little you could do in this situation; you could be a winner and simply ignore the tightness in your chest, enjoy the night; or you could be a looser by going home and crying the whole night. You refused to give up so easily.

Sadly for you, it wasn’t over.

"What about Y/N?" You heard someone ask about you - this time you felt your heart leaping in your throat. Why did people still need to talk about you, about your relationship? You considered it rude.

"What about her?" Hyeonwu asked sounding particularly disinterested.

"Since I don’t see her with you, I guess the rumors are true - you broke up."

"Not like she mattered anyway."

Maybe you were going to kill him after all before Mina could even lay her hands on him.

"I’m going to kill him." She growled dangerously beside you.

"Don’t. I really don’t want to visit you in jell and bring you oranges."

"I would rather you bring me chocolate."

You both looked at each other before bursting into laughter. Hyeonwu was an ass and he could go to hell; you would not let yourself be weak, you would not let yourself shed any more tear. No.

"I think I need something stronger."

It seemed like a good idea at the moment.

You learnt much much later that it was, in fact, a very bad idea.

Awful idea.

Especially when the last thing you remembered was Mina telling you to slow down on alcohol.

God.

You should quit drinking, not like it was a habit of yours but surely you had outdone yourself considering how your head felt; heavy, splitting. In fact, you felt like you were dying.

Your whole body ached, moving in the bed was pure torture.

Bed.

You jolted in the bed and regretted it instantly as the room spun around you and you felt a wave of nausea. You clamped your hand over your mouth; god, you were a mess.

You pushed back the blanket covering your body only to see that you weren’t naked but you weren’t wearing your own clothes either which definitely wasn’t much better. No, you wore a black shirt that was way too big for you, reaching your mid thighs.

Another wave of nausea.

To say that despite you being hungover you panicked at the idea of being somewhere you didn’t know with someone you didn’t know would be an understatement. You took a deep breath, calming your crazy heart and trying to keep your wish to empty your stomach at bay. You forced yourself to replay the party in your head.

The music, the people you had met, Mina, even Hyeonwu and his words you could remember. But you leaving with someone? That was a big mystery. No matter how hard you tried to remember, to even catch a glimpse of a memory - it didn’t work. There was nothing you could do except being, for once, a big girl and go face the unknown in hope that whoever’s place it was, was a nice person.

But the reality that welcomed you once you stepped out of the safety of the room was so much better.

Or worse.

Really, it was all about perspective.

Hoseok was preparing a breakfast for both of you, music playing and he sang along; you thought he was unaware of your presence. Oh how wrong you were. "Sit."

I’m going to be sick. It was one thing believing you ended up so drunk you would leave with a stranger or maybe a fellow student of your college but it was a whole new level of panic to find yourself in Hoseok’s shirt and in his kitchen. ‘How’ and ‘why’ were on the tip of your tongue but Hoseok turned around, hands on his hips he looked like an angry parent instead of - your crush.

Helplessly you followed his order.

"Good girl." Was the only thing he said and then, he resumed his preparation.

How confusing. He didn’t try to mock you or to explain, it was as if all of it was perfectly normal. As if you were friends. As if you hadn’t done something stupid. God, you hoped, no, you prayed you hadn’t done something stupid.

You cleared your throat, quite awkwardly. "How bad was it?" A part of you was scared to know, but you had to know and start somewhere.

Hoseok ignored your question.

It bothered you to no end that he chose to keep his mouth shut when he could find so many reasons to either scold you or mock you. He did none of that. He busied himself with the breakfast and only when pancakes, Nutella, orange juice and coffee was on the table, he finally sat across from you.

“Eat.”

Your jaw clenched. “Are you going to order me around or are you going to answer my questions?”

Hoseok sighed. He put his elbows on the table and rested his head in the palm of his hand. “I don’t think you’re ready for answers to be honest, Y/N.”

It did something to you the way he said your name. It shouldn’t, really, but it did. You gulped, staring nervously back at him – he looked too damn smug (and handsome with all the sun on his face). “It’s that bad.”

“You have no idea.”

“Shit.” You slammed your head on the table, startling Hoseok with your sudden gesture; he was ready to jump from his place and to get to you but then you turned your face to look at him, miserable and ready to curse yourself and your life.

Hoseok chuckled and shook his head in defeat. Cooking had eased his mind and calmed his nerves. But seeing you genuinely upset with yourself was enough to unsettle him and make his anger vanish. “You were a mess.”

You blinked at his words; finally he was willing to make you remember (and if not, explain) what happened. “How bad?”

“Well. According to your friend you got into a fight.”

“A fight?! Oh my god, with who?”

Hoseok bit on his lips, trying hard not to laugh at you. “You punched your ex.”

You stood from your seat too fast and felt dizzy right away. With a blink of an eye, Hoseok was by your side, a hand on your back and steadying before you could collapse on the floor. “Easy tiger.”

“Sorry.” You sat back. “It can’t be. I’ve never hit anybody in my life.” Then you thought about a time when Jimin had intentionally told your parents about your supposed weekend with your friend which was a cover for your weekend with your boyfriend. It was the only time you truly got mad at Jimin and had punched him in the face. “Well, except for Jimin.”

“Shocking.” Hoseok feigned surprise. “He does deserve a beating from time to time.”

Despite your anxiety, you chuckled. “And what happened after I hit him?”

Hoseok’s whole face darkened for a second; it was so fast you could have imagined it. But you didn’t. “According to your friend, he tried to slap you. Again. Luckily for him, your friend got you out of his way before he could do so.”

It was a very odd thing to witness. Hoseok was clearly annoyed, no, angry with Hyeonwu, maybe because he didn’t like men who would raise their hand on women or maybe it was just because of you, either way it was odd but nice. “You’re angry.”

Hoseok didn’t deny it. “I am. But not only with this piece of shit. Last night I was angry with you too.”

“Why me?” You frowned, “Did I do something else?”

Hoseok considered telling you the truth. He eyed you from head to toes, eyes lingering a little longer than acceptable on your bare legs before shaking his head. He wouldn’t tell but his gaze was enough to tell you that you had done something stupid.

“Don’t tell me I jump on you.” You almost begged him.

Hoseok blinked before bursting into laughter. “I would have loved that.”

His response confused you. If you didn’t jump on him (which would have explained his shirt on you) then what was it? You glanced at your hands and then at Hoseok, scowling half angrily at him – he flicked gently your forehead in response. “Really, you don’t want to remember this part.”

Your eyes widened in realization; there could be only one other thing that could embarrass you. “Oh no. Please, tell me I didn’t throw up.”

Hoseok winced at the memory. “You did and then passed out in my bathroom.”

You buried your face in between your hands, wanting the floor to swallow you whole. You regretted bitterly your poor choices in life. First you got wasted, then you thought it would be cool to punch your ex (he completely deserved it). “Wait. How did you know I was at this party?”

“You messaged me.”

“I did what?”

Hoseok showed you his phone and the messages you exchanged in your drunken state. Bloody hell. Second reminder to yourself: quit drinking. You should have called for Jimin but instead you chose Hoseok (and here you thought you would never dare to send him a message). You told him how lonely you felt and that you wanted to leave the party. This was embarrassing, enough for you to hide for a while but you also couldn’t ignore the fact (and it warmed your heart more than it should) that instead of ignoring your texts, Hoseok came for you.

"You could have called Jimin." That was definitely not what you wanted to say. A ‘thank you’ would have been better but somehow you wanted to know why he came.

"He would have asked why you asked for me instead of him." Hoseok sighed, too aware that he was playing a dangerous game that could not end well. "I shouldn’t have left you my number. But you know what? A part of me is happy I did." Hoseok gently took your hand and started rubbing your knuckles with his thumb. "Who knows what would have happened otherwise?"

Your breath hitched in your throat as your eyes darted back and forth between his face and his hand.

This Hoseok seemed so much more familiar compare to the one you had faced last time. He was sweet and gentle and of course a little tease.

"You know," Hoseok started, he watched you trying to figure him out, "If love doesn’t work for you maybe you should try something else."

To say that you didn’t think about the morning with Hoseok or his words would be a lie because you did. Quite often even. A part of you clung to the memory of his touches, of his words but another, and the more rational part of you told you to forget and to move on.

You couldn’t.

You couldn’t forget when you saw Hoseok every now and then. Hoseok made it even harder; he would never miss a chance to tease you (whether it was about that day or another subject) when nobody was looking.

One word from you and you could have stopped it. But you didn’t. No. You could pretend you didn’t like all this attention but it would be another lie - you loved it.

You sighed as once more you were thinking about Hoseok. How troublesome.

It was getting late. You should have been home for a while now but because of the project you were working on, you had to stay later than usual. Jimin had promised to meet you after work with cookies which would have been perfect after such a long day - Jimin was late.

One glance at your phone - still no news from your brother which worried you. Did he somehow forget about you? That would be very unlike him but the alternative scared you.

A car stopped right by your side. You glanced at the car but quickly averted your eyes, it wasn’t Jimin’s.

The person inside the car however wasn’t done with you. Winding down the window - you heard a familiar voice calling for you. A voice that made your skin tingle and warm right away.

"Hobi?"

"Get in." He smiled brightly at you, "I’m your driver for tonight."

Oh. Oh boy.

It took you all self control not to show him how you felt about it, instead you hurried to get inside his car and tried to look casual. "Do I want to know why you’re here instead of Jimin?"

"Ouch. A lesser man would have been hurt with your words, princess." Hoseok, however, didn’t seem that hurt in your opinion - he winked playfully at you and started the car. "Jimin is stuck in the office so I offered to pick you up."

"How nice of you, oh my savior." You couldn’t stop yourself from teasing him.

Hoseok laughed and to your utter surprise patted your naked leg. It was such a simple gesture, probably with no intention behind, but your body reacted on it own, burning under his touch. You bit on your lips and tried to regain composure, but your mind seemed to concentrate only at the spot on your leg Hoseok had touched. Geez Y/N, calm the hell down!

"How come you were staying so late?"

You welcomed this distraction with a sigh of relief; if Hoseok noticed he didn’t comment. "I’m working on my art project and I’m a little behind the schedule."

"You’re art major?" Hoseok was surprised for a short moment before memories flashed through his mind. "Right. Why am I even surprised." He chuckled to himself. "I remember you spending hours drawing or painting while we would be playing games in the background. I don’t know how you managed to concentrate with all the noise."

At least he admitted that they were the noisiest persons you had ever met. But truth to be told, it never bothered you. Yes they were loud and would try to distract you when you weren’t even trying to talk to them, but their energy, their pure friendship, the atmosphere around them was something that fueled your inspiration. "I never minded."

Hoseok glanced at you, one brow arched. "Really?"

You nodded, a small smile forming on your lips. "It helped me."

"Well, if you’re ever stuck, just call us. I’ll be more than glad to be noisy." He joked.

"Will do."

Asking Jimin about Hoseok without actually letting him know how you felt was tricky. Jimin knew you like the back of his hand which meant that whether you tried tricking him into believing that your questions were out of pure curiosity or not would end the same way: Jimin knowing your tiny crush on Hoseok was not as tiny as you thought.

You took the risk anyway.

While Jimin was drinking his coffee and reading newspaper, you sat in front of him and poured yourself some coffee too. "Hey Jimin," He only acknowledged your presence with a hum, waiting for whatever you wanted to say. "Are you planning to have a boys night soon?"

Jimin lowered the newspaper, checked your face before resuming his reading without giving you a proper answer which made you scowl at him. Was he in a bad mood? "Jimin-"

"Don’t say it." He interrupted you before you could try again, still without looking at you.

You blinked, confused. "Say what?"

"Don’t think I don’t know what you’re trying to ask."

You huffed and crossed you arms over your chest; you couldn’t believe he could possibly know what was on your mind. "I don’t know what you’re talking about." But you did.

Jimin slammed his newspaper on the table (and you winced at his reaction), his eyes dark and threatening were on you. Well, you had completely forgotten that your bother could get quite intimidating when he wanted to. You chose not to cower and just huff one more time in annoyance and maybe a tad of provocation.

"You aren’t asking when I’m going to see my friends. "Jimin pointed at you, "You’re asking when I’m going to invite Hoseok over so you could see him again."

Yeah, ok, Jimin really knew what he was talking about. You bit on your lips, contemplating whether you should be honest with him or tell him he was wrong. You couldn’t muster the courage to lie. "So? When is he coming?"

Jimin groaned. "Y/N."

"What? I’m just curious."

"No, you’re not." JImin’s jaw tensed and for a second you thought all hell would break loose. But to your biggest surprise, Jimin kept his temper in check and simply shook his head. "He’s not the right guy for you."

You scoffed in disbelief at his presumptions.. "Are you telling me this as my brother or as his friend?"

"What’s the difference? I’m telling you he’s not right for you."

"And of course you know who’s right for me?!" Getting angry and raising your voice at him was very unlike you; it took you by surprise and so it did to Jimin as his eyes widened slightly in shock.

Jimin inhaled and exhaled, trying to be the mature one and not to get angry. "I actually do."

You doubt that.

"You want to feel the butterflies. You want a prince, a fairy tale. You want someone who would be willing to sacrifice everything for you. I’m sorry but Hoseok isn’t this kind of man."

The urge to throw the rest of your coffee at him was very strong and so damn tempting. But that would be extremely childish of you and would only prove him he was right.

He was, but you weren’t ready to admit that just yet.

Jimin’s words had hit home. He was right about your view and expectations from a relationship and yet what Jimin also didn’t know was that your faith in love had shattered. It wasn’t like Hyeonwu was the love of your life and you expected to get married and have two kids with him. No. But the betrayal left a bitter taste in your mouth. So why not try something else? Something so out of your character? And who would be the best to show you the way than Hoseok?

"I know this look. You’re up to something." Mina nudged you in the stomach making you groan in both pain and annoyance. But Mina only wiggled her brows playfully at you. "What is it?"

"Nothing."

She didn’t buy it even for a second. "Nothing would be you not checking your phone every five minutes as if you’re waiting for someone, probably your very hot crush, to text you back."

You gave her the stink eye. Mina was too observant for her own good. You bit on your lips but chose not to tell her what was on your mind.

Mina huffed in annoyance as she realized that. "Fine. Don’t tell me."

But just like Mina had mentioned, you checked your phone hoping to see a message from Hoseok. You had sent him a message two hours ago, telling him you needed a lift which you didn’t but he didn’t need to know that. Till now, you still had no answer which shouldn’t have bothered you as much as it did. It was just a game, you promised yourself.

Mina grabbed your arm and forced you to halt. "You should probably stop checking your phone and look before you instead." A wicked smile that sent shivers down your spine spread on her plump lips. She pointed at something, at someone and when your eyes found that someone, your breath hitched in your throat and you couldn’t stop yourself from blushing.

Hoseok was leaning against his car, all in black, and looking too out of place in your opinion but so damn hot. The black turtleneck sweater and leather jacked looked all too good on him. He was a walking sin.

And apparently Mina agreed to your thoughts as she whistled and nudged you playfully. "I guess you won’t need a lift after all."

"See you tomorrow." Was the only thing you managed to say, eyes glued to a smiling Hoseok, heart roaring in your ears as you took a step towards him.

"Have fun!" Mina said too loudly for your liking. You hoped he didn’t hear it.

He did. Hoseok’s smile turned into a smirk, but at least he didn’t comment. He opened the door for you like a gentleman. "My lady."

You rolled your eyes at him. Of course he would say something like that.

To say that you were nervous would be the understatement of the century.

You drove in almost complete silence. Music played in the background and usually it would have helped you to relax but it didn’t. You kept glancing at Hoseok - if he noticed, he didn’t comment. How exactly were you supposed to bring the subject without making a fool of yourself?

"So," Hoseok cleared his throat to get your attention. "Are you planning to tell me what it’s really about?"

You snapped your head so fast at him, eyes widening. He knew you were up to something. Maybe he knew exactly what you were up to and this thought wasn’t very comforting.

You averted your eyes from his face and looked instead at your curled fist resting on your thighs. You were exactly where you wanted to be and you needed to be brave to tell him what you wanted.

You took a deep breath and looked at him. Confident. "Do you remember what you told me last time?" As you saw him frowning you quickly added, "If love doesn’t work for me I should try something else."

Hoseok’s grip on the wheel tightened. "I remember." Despite that he didn’t look at you or elaborate.

His lack of reaction (you expected him to laugh at you at least) only made you more nervous - you shoved it somewhere far and stayed as composed as possible. "Want to help me with it?"

Here. It was out.

Hoseok pulled over without a word or a single glance at you which quite frankly made you want to jump out of the car and forget everything about your plan. It was stupid, reckless. What were you even thinking?

As the car got to a halt, Hoseok turned to look at you. Really look at you. His eyes were dark and if you didn’t know better you would have thought they were hungry. Sadly, it couldn’t be true.

Hoseok licked his lips as his eyes darted back and forth between your eyes and your lips, giving you a terrible impression that suddenly you were his prey. "Did you call me in hope I’d say yes?"

Yes. Yes. Yes. And yet your voice got stuck in your throat.

At your silence, Hoseok only chuckled and leaned closer so his hand could reach your warm face. Gently, he stroked your cheek. There were things he wished he could tell you, but he couldn’t. You weren’t ready.

"Did you think I would say yes to fuck you, Y/N?"

It was exactly what you hoped, exactly what you wanted. And yet, having Hoseok so close, muttering those words made you gulp, frozen on the spot. It was stupid. You were stupid.

What were you thinking, Y/N?!

Hoseok pulled back. "Thought so."

He took you home without a word.

You had fucked up.

Holidays meant more time for you. Meant more time to heal from your break up, more time to work on your project that didn’t go as planned, and sadly more time to think about your humiliation. You couldn’t forget what happened in the car, how stupid you were and how bad you had felt afterwards. Luckily for you, Jimin hadn’t invited Hoseok or any other of his friends which let you all the time to gloom.

In fact, Jimin was barely at home at all which in a way was great for you; you had more space for yourself and at least he wouldn’t know about your mood. But it didn’t mean he didn’t notice.

On the third day of your holidays, Jimin barged in your room, startling you. You were so engrossed in your painting that you hadn’t heard him at all.

"That’s enough." Jimin looked genuinely upset and tired.

You eyed him, a brow cocked at him. "What is enough?"

"You. Do you think because I have been so busy, I haven’t noticed your behavior?" Jimin pointed an accusing finger at you. "Just because you’re alone in there don’t think I don’t know what’s going on in your pretty head."

Jimin approached you and put a bag at your feet.

"What is it?"

"My company is having a party and I need you to come with me."

That was ridiculous. Not because you didn’t like the idea of going to a party (though after your last experience, maybe it wasn’t such a good idea), but you going with Jimin didn’t make much sense. He could get any date he wanted, why would he bother to bring his sister instead? You shook your head in disbelief. "Jimin, you can ask any of your girl friends to come with you."

Jimin huffed, putting his hands on his hips. "I could, but my little sister is being a depressed, ugly monster right now. You need some fresh air."

You tried to hit him for the ‘ugly monster’ but Jimin was fast to dodge your attack, laughing at your attempt. "Get ready. We’re leaving in two hours."

"Would it be enough for you to get ready?" You joked, though it was half true. Jimin tended to spend more time than you to get ready.

He only stuck his tongue out in reply.

There was no denying, Jimin’s company sure as hell knew how to throw a party. You didn’t expect much when he asked you to come with him but you definitely blessed him for bringing you along. The venue was beautiful; from lights to the layout of the place, to the music in the background (and let’s not forget about the food and free alcohol). For a second, you forgot about Jimin and let go of his arm just so you could wander and have a better view of the place - Jimin only smiled at that and watched you from afar.

After three days of mopping around, it was good to see your eyes shining brightly and looking forward for something, even if it was for one night. Jimin hoped that by bringing you with him, it would make you realize that whatever was bothering you wasn’t worth it.

"I take it as you like the place." Jimin joined you and snatched two glasses of Champaign. "Here."

You being you gladly accepted. "I do. Are all your company’s parties so luxurious?" Then you glanced at the people around. They all looked classy and beautiful with their outfits and you were more than thankful that Jimin found a pretty hot dress for you - a red, long backless dress with a front split.

"No. This one is more formal but sometimes…It gets crazy." Judging by Jimin’s reaction, you decided that you didn’t want to know about the crazy parties, just because imagining your brother doing something reckless was too much no matter how close you were.

"Come on, sis. Lets the fun begin." He showed you his arm and you gladly accepted it.

Jimin was an amazing brother.

You, of course, already knew that, but tonight one more time he proved you just how good of a brother he was. Nothing obliged him to stay the most part of the night with you, nothing. But he did. He drank with you, stole some food with you when nobody was looking (though would it still be considered stealing when he belonged to the company). He joked with you, commented on people. He introduced you to his people, his crew and by the huge smiles on their face, you knew just how much Jimin was appreciated.

You wanted him to enjoy the night. "Jimin," you tugged his hand gently. "Go. Have fun." Which only made him frown. Of course he wouldn’t understand which only made you smile fondly at him. "I think you’ve spent more than enough time with me, you should go and enjoy yourself."

Jimin scoffed. "What makes you think I’m not enjoying myself?"

You rolled your eyes at him. "Oh please. Do you think I didn’t see how you were eying this girl by the window? I’m not blind." You pinched his arm making him yelp and take a step from you. "Go. I’ll be fine. I probably won’t stay for too long so don’t worry for me."

Despite your attempt at convincing him to leave you alone, Jimin hesitated.

"I’m going to get really mad if you don’t go to her." You warned him.

"No you won’t." But he smiled nevertheless. "Fine." He ran his fingers through his perfectly styled hair and sighed in defeat. "Fine. But just so you know, I had fun tonight. It reminded me the good old days - I hadn’t realized just how much I missed those times."

You grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze - you completely agreed with him. Till tonight, you hadn’t realized just how much you missed spending some quality time with him. "Now go and you better not come back before morning!"

This time, Jimin rolled his eyes at you.

Proud of yourself, you snatched another glass of champaign. You wandered around the huge place without really minding people until, and sadly for you, you bumped into someone you didn’t expect to see tonight because your lovely brain had chosen to forget that Jung Hoseok was also working with Jimin.

You stumbled - Hoseok was fast to grab your arm and steady you.

Bloody hell.

Why.

How could you have forgotten that Hoseok too was working in this company and that obviously he would attend the party was beyond your comprehension. Why did you always forget about the most important things that could have avoided you some unwanted situation?

You had no words. You felt embarrassed and not only because you had bumped into him. No. The simple sight of him (looking absolutely devastating in his black suit) brought back the memory of the very humiliating night that you wished to forget.

"Sorry." You quickly apologized and while Hoseok was too stunned to see you, you ran away.

The moment you reached the stairs, you took your damn heels off. Your feet hurt and with you trying to get away from Hoseok as fast as possible - it hurt. You leaned against the wall for a short moment, taking a deep breath.

"Put those back on." Hoseok’s voice startled you and you almost hit your head in the process.

"Not your damn business." Shit. You wanted to smash your head against the wall, feeling utterly stupid for being suddenly so harsh and so not like you. Yes, you were frustrated. Yes, you were angry, but with yourself.

Hoseok, on the other hand, was stunned but only for a short moment. It wasn’t very often that he witnessed your sassy and angry side but he decided that he liked it. He had two options before him; he could either leave you to your fate and go back to the party (a party he wasn’t very fond of anyway) or he could stay with you. He chose the latter.

Without a warning, Hoseok lifted you from the ground - you yelped in surprise and fear but your arms instantly flew to his neck.

"The hell are you doing?!" You screamed at him.

"Since you’re being so disobedient, I’m bringing you home." Was his only answer.

You couldn’t accept that. You pinched his nape, hit his chest in hope he would let you go. He didn’t and he wasn’t bothered with your antics. Oh no, it amused him. All your attempts at being feisty and strong - he knew he had the upper hand.

"Jung Hoseok, you better put me down now or-"

"Or what?" He cut you before you could finish your threat. "You’re going to scream?"

That was your first option, yes, but you weren’t sure you wanted to attracted any attention on you. You hit him instead in the chest. Again.

Hoseok chuckled and his grip around you tightened. Before you could ask him anything, he took you by surprise by putting you on a car. His car. You blinked, confused, and observed him.

Hoseok didn’t say a word, he simply watched you, licking his lips as his eyes roamed through your body.

Good god. Your skin flushed under his gaze. You were in so much trouble.

"That was unnecessary." You said as you tried to slid from the car - Hoseok was faster. Before you could get back on your feet, he got closer to you. His hands were on your exposed thighs as he settled between your legs. Dear lord. Your heart leapt in your throat at the sudden proximity and the feel of his hands on your bare skin. Just like the last time, it burnt, so bad, so good.

"Hoseok?"

He didn’t answer, too lost in his own thoughts, on the feel of your skin against the palm of his hands. He was supposed to be the reasonable one but the moment he spotted you at the parted wearing this sinful dress, all his resolution vanished - he wanted you. He pressed his head against your forehead, eyes never leaving your lips. It was pure madness. "Tell me to stop, Y/N."

"Wh-what?" You were genuinely confused.

His hands traveled through your body, slowly, gently, feather like touches that sent shivers down your spine and straight to your core. He was toying with you and your feelings - you couldn’t think straight.

"Tell me to stop." His lips were impossibly close, all you had to do was to tilt your head and your lips would finally meet his. "You’re the only one who can stop me. Say no and I’ll stop and bring you home."

You gulped nervously and at the same time hopeful and excited with what he could do if you said yes instead. "And what happens if I don’t stop you?"

Hoseok groaned as he closed his eyes. He imagined many things, especially ever since you mentioned fucking him - he couldn’t stop thinking about it. "Jimin is going to kick my ass."

More confident, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pushing him closer against you. You whispered against his lips, "I’m going to protect you then."

You sealed the promise with a kiss.

It was seven in the morning, you were a mess but a rather satisfied mess. Hoseok had dropped you after the almost sleepless night you had spent at his place. You expected him to regret having sex with you, heck, you expected to feel guilty about it too but none of it happened. Hoseok had woken you up with a gentle kiss on the lips, on your cheeks, on your shoulders - he didn’t particularly wanted to part with you but he knew better than to take risks with Jimin.

You pushed the door to Jimin’s place as quietly as you could, hoping deep inside you that Jimin had listened to your advice and spend the night somewhere else while you were supposed to be at home.

On your tiptoes you walked through the place, trying not to knock anything on your path - Jimin cleared his throat.

"Holy shit!" You jumped and slammed your hand over your chest. "You scared me!"

What Jimin was doing awake at this unholy hour (at least for a Saturday) was beyond you. He was at home and you were in trouble.

Jimin eyed you with a quirked brow, up and down, taking notes of your state. You wanted to ignore his glare and run to the safety of your room but sadly, your feet were rooted to the ground, staring back at him. "Hi?"

Jimin shook his head. "So. Whose body am I going to bury in the garden?"

"We don’t have a garden." You answered without thinking - Jimin rolled his eyes in response.

Yes, you were in trouble.

What was supposed to be a one time thing with Hoseok turned into something more. Every time he called, you said yes, swearing every single time it would be the last because you were terrified at how he made you feel. But you couldn’t get enough.

You bit on your lips while playing with your pencil. Instead of drawing, in class, you found yourself glancing at your still red wrists - memories flashed through your mind and you couldn’t stop yourself from squeezing your thighs together.

Flashback

You watched, completely bewitched, as Hoseok tied your hands to the bed with a red silk ribbons. With every step he took, Hoseok watched you carefully, making sure he wasn’t overstepping some boundaries, that you were hundred percent comfortable with whatever he was doing to you.

You were.

God, you were more than that judging by how wet you were and he hadn’t even touched you. Another time, another day you would have felt embarrassed about being so aroused but it was Hoseok and if there was one thing he made sure to teach you was that you should never be ashamed or embarrassed about yourself.

Never.

"Such a good girl for me." Hoseok praised you and once he was done with the knot, he pressed a gentle kiss to your wrists. Such a sweet and delicate gesture that sent shivers down your spine and to your core - you pressed your thighs together seeking any friction you could get.

Hoseok chuckled at your attempt but did nothing to ease your aching body, no, instead he pulled back and admired the view before him.

You were splayed in front of him, lips beautifully swollen with all the kissing, pupils blown. It was his favorite view; you being naked and so willing for him, he was getting harder with every look he took.

"So beautiful." His finger trailed along your calf, drawing circles.

"Hoseok." You pleaded, skin on fire. You wanted him to touch you, to feel him.

Hoseok only smiled in response and considered what he wanted to do with you. He crawled, parting your legs in the process. He kissed your calf, a warm and gentle press of the lips that got you to whine in both delight and slight despair. You were torn between the wish he could simply ravish you, or the wish he would take his sweet time with you, torturing your body, your senses - you bit on your lips.

"What should I do with you, baby girl?" Hoseok hummed as he hovered over you. His fingers trailed along your jaw before his thumb was rubbing your lips. He loved your mouth, those pretty lips that could drive him crazy. He would have loved to feel your mouth around his cock, to have you chock around him. Yes, he would love that very much but another time.

Anything, you wanted to say but your words got lost the moment his hands started roaming your body. They were everywhere. On your thighs, your stomach, your breast. Every touch drove you crazier and he knew it. Hoseok knew your body like the back of his hand and he sure as hell knew what to do to make you beg.

"Hoseok, please." You begged, not giving a damn as long as he gave you what you needed. "I need you." You lifted your hips to lean further in his touch but Hoseok pushed you back on the bed. So easily. "Please."

"Such an impatient little thing." He tsked but his smirk only widened.

Before you could whine, his lips claimed your mouth, demanding, wet, intoxicating and brief. You wanted to pull him back, to deepen the kiss but you couldn’t. You pulled at your restraints, the cloth only sank into your skin.

Hoseok’s lips traveled from your lips to your jaw, to your neck, leaving as many purple marks as possible (knowing all too well that you would complain later); your body was a white canvas and he sure as hell wanted to work on it.

His lips followed an invisible path, slowly, sometimes gentle sometimes harsher, you could never guess when he would worship a part of your body and when he would suddenly bite hard enough for you to cry out his name.

Hoseok covered every inch of your body with kisses and by the time he came face to face with your dripping pussy, you were a crying, bothered mess. His lips weren’t the only thing that drove you completely mad. No, the whole time he worked on you, his eyes never left yours and this simple sight made you almost come undone.

"Hoseok." You could feel the tears of frustration at the corner of your eyes; you were too wound up to be able to bear it any longer. You needed him, now.

Hoseok’s grin only widened before he kissed, eagerly, your clit - you threw your head back, letting out a loud moan and pulling again at your restraints. It was so annoying not being able to move freely; you wanted to grab Hoseok’s hair, pull his head closer to your heat and to feel more of him.

Hoseok feasted on you like a starved man, tongue and lips working magic between your legs. Your mind went completely blank, overwhelmed with all the tension in your body, all the fire and incredible pleasure that made you see stars.

"Fuck, Hoseok." You moaned his name over and over again.

Hoseok hummed in satisfaction and gave your clit a particularly harsh suck that made your toes curl. "I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of you, baby girl." He glanced at you and the sight of Hoseok’s glistening lips with your juices made your walls clench around nothing.

Fuck.

"You taste so sweet." He licked his lips. "I should probably kidnap you more often and have my way with you."

Before you could suggest him that kidnapping you whenever he wanted (even if you loved the idea) was a bad idea unless you wanted to deal with a very angry Jimin, Hoseok finally gave you something to fill the emptiness inside you: he pushed a finger against your hole, then a second. Your walls welcomed him eagerly.

"Look at you." He hummed in approval as his fingers stretched you, making you push your hips to swallow more of him. "This pussy is so greedy."

"Hoseok." You cried out, "Please, please."

All he gave you was a gentle press of his lips against your thigh before going back to his work, fingers, tongue, overwhelming you till you couldn’t see or hear anything, till your body tensed before exploding.

But Hoseok didn’t stop. Not when you were pulling at your restraints, not when you were trying to get away from his tongue, your body being too sensitive after your first orgasm of the night.

He was going to be the death of you.

End flashback

You swore to whoever was willing to listen (and maybe to yourself too) that this art project would be the death of you. Usually, art wasn’t a problem; you loved painting, you loved drawing, it was your way to express yourself, to immortalize a moment in life, anything. But this project? You couldn’t concentrate on it. You tried, thousands of times but every time what came out of you wasn’t enough.

You came home exhausted, upset and wanted nothing more than a warm meal, a shower and the comfort of your bed. Those plans, however, vanished from your mind, the moment you spotted extra pairs of shoes at the entrance and judging by the numbers, you put two and two together.

A tiny smile spread on your lips as you walked on tiptoes, making sure to not make any noise just so you could check on them without them noticing. And what a sight! Three men completely sprawled out on the couch with fluffy blankets and cushions, wearing pajamas and of course with tons of snacks on the coffee table. You had to memorize this image - discretely you took your phone out and snapped a picture, smiling proudly to yourself. This was perfect blackmail material.

But then, and sadly for your brother, you noticed what exactly they were planning to watch on TV. You gasped loudly, making yourself known. "How dare you."

"Hi Y/N!" Taehyung waved cutely at you and you almost forgot all about your wrath - how were you supposed to stay mad with those pretty twinkling eyes and pretty smile? No really.

You shook your head and averted your eyes, stopping quickly at Hoseok. He wiggled his brows playfully at you causing a hot fire spread through your body - you rolled your eyes at him to make a point. This was not the right time or place to mess with you. When your eyes met Jimin’s, you gave him the stink eye.

"Hi sis."

"Don’t hi me you traitor!" You took a dangerous step towards them and you swore Hoseok tried to bite down a laugh (Jimin nudged him in the stomach for that). "I forgive Taehyung and Hoseok because they don’t know what Marvel means to me, but you," You pointed an accusing finger at him, "My own brother! How could you!"

Yes, you were absolutely dramatic and ready to flip a table.

"Oh come on, Y/N, we weren’t-" Jimin started. He was tempted to fight you, it was just so fun to see you so annoyed, but another part of him was genuinely worried of what you could do.

"We were planning to watch Dr. Strange." Taehyung threw chips in the air and caught it easily with his mouth, that almost distracted you if not for the mention of your favorite Marvel.

Jimin shrieked and grabbed Hoseok to shield himself from your wrath. "I’m sorry!!"

"You’re so dead." You warned him and you would have jumped on him to probably strangle him if not for a very smug Hoseok who was all too amused with your antics. You promised to yourself to deal with him later. Nobody was allowed to mock your love for Dr. Strange. Not even Hoseok. No matter how good his dick was.

"I’m going to take a quick shower and you better wait for me to start the movie or I swear to god you’re all dead." You warned them, eyeing every single one of them. Jimin hid fully behind Hoseok and cursed under his breath. Hoseok shook his head while Taehyung blinked completely unfazed with your outburst.

They listened.

Whether it was out of fear or because they really wanted you to join them for their Marvel’s night, they waited for you.

By the time you joined them in your pajamas, Taehyung was wrapped in a blanket, surrounded by pillows, sitting on the floor instead of the couch. He winked at you and patted the empty space beside Hoseok. Hoseok lifted the blanket that was covering him to let you in. For a second you contemplated the idea of sitting beside Jimin instead of Hoseok, it would be annoying yes (because you still felt like beating the crap out of your brother), while sitting beside Hoseok would be too tempting.

You sat, of course, beside Hoseok, your heart and wish to be beside him won over your brain. He covered both of you with the blanket and pressed his thigh lightly against yours. You closed your eyes, thought about Dr. Strange; you had to focus, on the movie, on the actor, on anything except for the warm hand that was suddenly on your thigh.

This was exactly what you had feared. Hoseok had no shame, was fearless and loved to tease you despite Jimin being just beside him, completely unaware of what was going on (luckily for you).

Hoseok was drawing slow and gentle circles on your skin making you shiver and sank deeper in the couch. It took you all self-control to not look at him (and possibly straddle his legs) and pretend that nothing was going on under the blanket- this was torture. Torture like Hoseok loved it, you did too of course.

Not once Hoseok looked your way, nothing on his face could have betrayed his intentions but you felt it. His fingers were gentle, stroking your skin but of course Hoseok didn’t stop; his hand slid higher and right between your legs, fingers teasing gently – you squeezed your thighs tightly, trapping his hand in between.

You can’t. But shit you wanted it so badly. Hoseok pinched your skin forcing you to open up for him while biting your lips in order to prevent any very unwelcomed sound.

But despite how bothered his simple touches left you, you chose to be the responsible one. You took a deep breath and grabbed Hoseok’s hand, giving it a strong squeeze you looked at him, frowning, conveying all your frustration and a warning.

Hoseok chuckled in response.

The little shit.

Having sex with Hoseok was great. No, fuck it. It was mind-blowing and you were pretty sure nobody else could ever make you feel as much as Hoseok did. It terrified you but you cherished those moments more than you were willing to admit to yourself.

But having sex with him was, funnily enough, not the only thing you enjoyed. Despite your little arrangement, Hoseok gave you more than you expected from a fuck buddy (except he wasn’t your buddy but rather Jimin’s). He spent times willingly with you, taking you to cute places and date coffees. He would help you to sneak from your place and drive you to places you wouldn’t have visited on your own. Hoseok was spontaneous and you loved it a lot about him.

But the thing you loved the most about what Hoseok gave you, was the hours you would spend laying lazily in bed talking. It was something you expected (if not required) from a boyfriend - it was intimate. But Hoseok gave you those moments anyway.

Just like tonight. You told Jimin you would spend the weekend with Mina, girls’ weekend because with college and all the projects you just didn’t have so much time together anymore. A big fat lie and you would have felt bad about it if not for the fact that being with Hoseok made you forget everything about your guilt.

Hoseok sat on the bed with his legs stretched so you could rest your head on his thighs. His hand was running through your hair, so naturally as if he had done it thousands of times (you wished he did).

"I was wondering," You started and turned your face so your cheek was pressed against his thigh. "Did you know it was me in the club? I mean-"

Hoseok didn’t let you finish your mumbling, a smile spread on his face. "I did. I was watching you from afar for a good part of the night." His fingers kept running through your hair - it felt so good you almost purred. "You looked miserable and I wanted to come and talk to you but I was a tiny bit worried you wouldn’t recognize me." Then, he winked at you, "You didn’t recognize me actually."

You jolted from your comfortable spot, eyes widened in surprise. "You’re kidding."

"Am not." Hoseok flicked your forehead and pushed you back. "How could I not recognize Jimin’s little sister? I used to tease you all the time."

At that you smiled. "You were awful."

"It’s because your reactions were always so endearing, I couldn’t help it."

You huffed in fake annoyance but the urge to smile was stronger.

Hoseok’s fingers moved from your hair to your forehead, then your nose (and he did not missed the chance to flick it playfully) and finally your lips. He parted them gently with his thumb – you let him in. He was completely hypnotized and you could only imagine what was going through his mind (something you would probably enjoy if he asked).

"I know what you’re thinking." You commented and bit lightly on Hoseok’s thumb.

Hoseok chuckled. "If I didn’t know better, I’d say someone is being insatiable."

All you did was plant a kiss on his thigh and feel him tense under your lips.

Too easy.

When you got back from the weekend at Hoseok’s place, you were positive that nothing and nobody could ruin it for you. You felt light, happy, relaxed - everything you had been missing out for the past months.

Jimin was sprawled on the couch with his laptop; his hair was a mess. Clearly someone was ruffling his hair too much in frustration which was such a Jimin’s thing to do. You smiled brightly at the sight, the urge to tease him was getting strong.

"Please tell me you’re not working on a Sunday night." You were half mocking him half scolding him.

Jimin, despite being a flirt and a social butterfly, had a bad tendency at bringing his work at home too. At first, it didn’t bother you as much because he found time to be with you (not like he was forced to) but somehow, for the past weeks, he had been working more and more which wasn’t very healthy in your opinion.

Jimin barely looked at you, whether it was because he was too concentrate or because there was something you couldn’t tell but you sensed something was off.

You hurried to put your bag in your room before going back to him and plopping on the couch beside him. "Hello?"

Jimin was so tempted to ignore you, he wanted to ignore you but the need to make sure he was just imagining things was too strong. He shut his screen and looked at you. "Such a noisy little sister."

"We have that in common then." You nudged him with your feet.

Jimin was fast to grab your feet, smirking wickedly. "Oh don’t start or I might tickle you to death."

"You wouldn’t dare!" You gasped despite knowing that he would do it without hesitation. Luckily for you, Jimin seemed to be in a rather merciful mood. He let go of your feet and grabbed instead a cushion that he pressed against his chest and rested his head on top of it.

"I have a funny story for you."

"Tell me."

"So I have a friend and he has a very cute and smart little sister."

"Are you talking about me?" You laughed and nudged him one more time. Jimin only smiled without trying to deny it which was your first hint that you were in trouble.

"Well you see, his little sister that he loves very very much, started going out a lot which is absolutely fine. Great even. But one day she lied and it bothered him."

You would be lying if you said his words didn’t affect you or made your palm sweaty. There was no way the story wasn’t about you, and the lie it had something to do with your weekend. Shit.

Jimin didn’t continue his story; he sat and scrutinizing your face - you wished he kept talking, it would make you less nervous.

"It’s Hoseok, isn’t it?"

Oh. Well, you were in trouble. Big, big trouble.

You let out a harsh breath; what were you supposed to say?

Jimin ruffled his hair before gently grabbing your calf and giving it a squeeze. "I should have known you wouldn’t listen."

"You aren’t angry?" Was the only question that actually mattered. You could deal with Jimin disagreeing with your choice of men or relationship, but you didn’t want him to be angry with you.

"I’m not. I know, shocking." He joked but looked more relaxed. "I can’t say I’m delighted but you’re a big girl and Hoseok is a smart man, I trust him enough not to hurt you."

"He won’t." Not willingly was what you wanted to add.

You

[10:05pm]: You might one to reconsider your friendship with Jimin.

Hobi

[10:07pm]: Ok??? Should I worry?

You

[10:07pm]: He promised not to burry you in our imaginary garden.

Hobi

[10:08pm]: Ok. I’m worried.

Hobi

[10:08pm]: What happened? What did I do?

You

[10:10pm]: Well maybe, Jimin knows about us?

Hobi

[10:11pm]: Oh. I’m moving to Alaska. Just in case, you know.

You

[10:11pm]: Tell me you have a tiny place in your suitcase for me?

Hobi

[10:12pm]: For you, always.

Your phone kept buzzing through your last class to the point that you had to mute it completely for the sake of your sanity. Some were messages from Jimin, some from Hoseok (which now that you thought about it should have worried you that those two decided to message you at the same time) - it didn’t matter you had to concentrate.

"When did you become so popular?" Mina asked you as you put your books back in the bag.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh do you think I didn’t hear your phone?"

She was only messing with you. You knew it but couldn’t stop yourself from wincing anyway. "Sorry about that."

"Oh come on! Don’t make that face! It’s not that bad." She nudged you with her hips to make you feel better. "Now, I’m just curious."

That seemed to do it work - you relaxed at her words and remembered that you were supposed to read the messages.

You could have started with Jimin’s messages, after all he was your brother and it could have been urgent (considering he was trying to get your attention, badly, for the past hour) but you of course chose Hoseok.

But when you opened the conversation, the sight of a very familiar bag was not what you had expected. "Oh my god."

Mina leaned to peak over your shoulder - she frowned and pointed at the picture Hoseok had sent. "That’s your travel bag."

It was. Just under the picture Hoseok had texted you about his plan.

"You need a distraction. So do I. P.S: Jimin almost killed me for that."

You couldn’t help but smile. Hoseok sure knew how to take you off guard.

Driving for hours with Hoseok was nothing like you had imagined. It was fun and relaxed; he would tell you stories about the place, about the road and you would tell him about some of your own experiences. Some other time you would sing together.

You felt happy. Too happy. But you didn’t let this realization bother you; this weekend was about you and your lack, lately, of inspiration. Hoseok thought that the best way to reconcile with your muse would be the nature - he brought you to his family house that stood near a forest and by a lake.

It was hard to believe that such a place existed in real world - for a short moment, as you walked slowly to the house, you felt like you were finally part of one of the fairy tales you used to read when you were little.

"This is beautiful." You thought out loud.

Hoseok didn’t comment; he agreed, obviously, since the wooden house was one of his favorite destination when he needed to get out of town and forget about his troubles. But now, the beauty of this place was nothing compared to what he felt by just watching you from aside. You looked happy; your face lightened, eyes shining brightly and with curiosity. You were being you, the girl he used to know and not the sad and frustrated girl he had met. This thought warmed his heart.

"You are." Hoseok whispered to himself.

"I knew I would find you here." Hoseok plopped on the ground beside you.

You only smiled warmly and kept drawing. You had found the perfect spot for drawing and apparently your muse agreed. Ever since you had spotted the lovely, old willow by the lake, you knew it was the right place and you had to get there as soon as possible.

Maybe too fast. "I’m sorry." You averted, quite unwillingly, your eyes from your sketchbook to look at Hoseok. You had left him do all the work while you went straight to the lake. A tiny part of you felt bad about it but one glance at him and he put you at ease.

Hoseok was smiling brightly. "Not a big deal." He gently took your hand only to interlace his fingers with yours. So intimate, so lovely, you were ready to melt on the spot. And so did your heart.

"I know about your struggles. You told me you couldn’t draw no matter how hard you tried, remember?" He looked at both of your hands, squeezing your fingers while watching them, contemplative.

Odd.

"This place, in my opinion, has some healing effect on people. I hoped it would help you." He glanced at your sketchbook and his smile only widened. "Apparently it did."

Knowing that Hoseok brought you here for the sole purpose of helping you to get back on good terms with your muse completely undid you. You wanted to cry, you wanted to laugh, you wanted to kiss him and all at the same time - Hoseok had this effect on you. He made you feel, so many things at once.

Unable to stop yourself, you put down your sketchbook and instead slowly reached for Hoseok. You wrapped your arms around his neck as you straddled his laps. Nor could you resist the urge to peck his lips - so you did. You pecked his lips. Once, twice. This simple gesture made both of you smile.

"Thank you." You said from the bottom of your heart. And not only for bringing you to this place. No, you wanted to thank him for making you forget of your failures, of your heartbreak.

Sadly for you and despite all Hoseok’s efforts, there was one heartbreak you couldn’t avoid.

Because now that you were in his arms, you couldn’t deny any longer how you felt, what you felt. Hoseok was no longer your crush. No.

You loved him.

And admitting it hurt.

But you wouldn’t let the pain ruin this magical moment that Hoseok had offered you. So instead of dwelling on your feelings, you chose to forget all about it and enjoy everything you could get with him. One last time.

You had been ignoring Hoseok.

It wasn’t your initial intention. Hell he gave you absolutely no reason to ignore but you just couldn’t face him after the marvelous weekend in his company. Not when your heart was squeezing and twisting in pain every time he looked at you with this bright smile, every time he touched you, kissed you. It drove you crazy.

You knew it would happen. Jimin knew it too. So when you got safely home and faced him, you couldn’t stop your tears. Jimin had only hugged you and kissed your temples.

"I don’t know whether I should be happy that you finally agreed to meet with me or be angry." Hoseok admitted as you took place across from him.

After one long and miserable week, you finally asked Hoseok to meet at a café. Maybe choosing a public place was your way to make sure you wouldn’t break down and just go back on your words - now that you were seeing him (he looked exhausted judging by the dark circles under his eyes) again, you knew it was the right choice.

"I-m"

"Don’t say you’re sorry. It’s not why I came." Hoseok cut you. He was angry and rightfully so but it only made things more difficult for you. "Why did you avoid me?"

You took a deep breath. "I was scared."

Hoseok blinked, confused. "Of what?" He pointed at himself, "Me?"

"No!" You hurried to answer almost jolting from your chair. "God no."

You hated yourself for sounding so weak and indecisive but confessing how you truly felt didn’t come out as naturally as you thought it would.

"I know you don’t want to hear it, but I’m sorry. I didn’t want to ignore you but at the moment it seemed like the best option. I needed time for myself and space to think."

Hoseok considered your words. He had felt confused, angry, heartbroken but now that he heard your voice, he felt just extremely tired. "Why?"

"Because nothing had changed, Hobi." And because I love you. "You’re still you. The handsome man and I’m still this foolish little girl who’s completely infatuated with you. It was stupid of me seeking you to distract me when really all it did was to make me fall for you. Hard." Admitting your feelings to yourself was one thing, admitting it to Hoseok was another and much harder, and yet, it was also a relief.

"What you did for me for the past months, I’m so thankful. You made me feel like nobody else ever did. Hell, I didn’t think I could feel anything like that at all. I wanted to believe this deal between us would be enough for me." You stopped to inhale sharply, "I really wanted it to be enough."

"It was a mistake, Hoseok. But you know what?" A bitter laugh escaped your lips. "I don’t regret it."

"I love you. But for my own safety, I need us to stop before I get hurt."

When at two in the morning you heard Hoseok’s voice, your first thought was that you had finally lost your mind. There was no other explanation, right?

You didn’t.

As you got closer to your door, the voice that you thought belonged to Hoseok was getting clearer and louder. It wasn’t your imagination, Hoseok was really here talking with a very sleepy and clearly upset Jimin.

"Hoseok, it’s two in the freaking morning and I’m that close to kicking your ass." Jimin tried to sound threatening but the tired yawn that escaped his lips ruined it for him. He cursed under his breath and couldn’t stop himself before glancing nervously at your slightly opened door.

Did he know?

You kept yourself hidden in the darkness of your room but you listened, heart roaring in your ears, mind going crazy. Why was Hoseok here? In the middle of the night?

"I let her down." Were Hoseok’s first words.

Jimin cocked a brow. "No. She left you."

Hoseok ruffled his hair. "No. I didn’t mean break up." He groaned in despair. Maybe drinking before barging at his friend’s place was a very, very bad idea but he couldn’t wait. He had to let it out even if it was only to Jimin.

"I let her leave." It pained him to say it. "God, this is hard."

"Hoseok." Jimin inched forward. "Were you drinking?"

"What?" Hoseok asked confused. "No. I mean yes, but that’s not the point."

"Man-"

"No. Listen." Hoseok cut him before he could lose it. "You don’t understand. Jimin, I was so shaken with her confession, I couldn’t believe it."

Jimin halted and stared back, face completely blank, contemplating whether his friend was plain dumb or was just too drunk. "The hell? Come on, Hoseok. You can’t tell me you didn’t notice!"

Hoseok laughed humorlessly. "Well shit, Jimin, no I didn’t. Would I have known, I wouldn’t have let her pretend."

Now that took you both by surprise. You clasped your hand over your mouth to prevent any unwelcome sound to leave your lips. This discussion was slowly driving you mad.

"You wouldn’t?"

"I wanted her ever since I saw her in that blue dress." Hoseok admitted and despite his drunken state and all the anxiety, he smiled at the memory. "Don’t hit me please."

Jimin kept his mouth shut but only because he was thinking about you in your room. He knew you were awake. While Hoseok was too busy pouring out his heart, Jimin had heard your tiny, barely audible gasp. Good. At least, and he hoped, it would lead to both of you stopping being stupid and annoying.

"You guys are so annoying." Jimin finally said while rubbing his temples. It was two in the damn morning for god’s sake and he wasn’t even drunk to deal with those feelings. "And I hate you both."

Hoseok tilted his head then glanced nervously at the door to your room. "You’re not hitting me?"

"Don’t tempt me." Jimin warned him. "Though I wouldn’t be sure if I’d be hitting you because I saw Y/N crying or because you dared to wake me up."

"So." Jimin, once sure, was free of Hoseok’s love confession, came to your room, leaning against your door with crossed arms. "Are you going to pretend you didn’t hear his confession or?"

You pretended not hearing him, blanket tightly wrapped around you, you simply refused to face your brother. You were embarrassed and confused, and felt warm at the same time. Damn Hoseok and his words. All your efforts to not think about Hoseok were ruined.

Jimin shook his head. Yes, he definitely hated the two of you. "Maybe I was wrong." That got your attention. "Maybe, Hoseok is your prince."

"Oh shut up." You let out against your better judgement.

Despite Hoseok’s confession, for once in your life you didn’t act upon your feelings. No, you chose to wait. Not because you were scared of facing the truth (ok, maybe a little bit), but you needed time. Time to concentrate on what truly mattered on the moment which happened to be the deadline for your project.

Most of people around you, including your brother, your family and obviously Hoseok, believed that the project was only about college. Which wasn’t quite the truth. No. A part of the project was obviously meant for college but what you hid from your close one was that a little art gallery wanted to exhibit your work once you were ready.

"When I think you can’t get any more amazing, you prove me wrong, girl." Mina commented, excited as she bounced at you, not caring for the people around you. "Those paintings are excellent. I mean, I’ve seen some of them before but the additional one? They’re mind-blowing."

You hugged her back, tightly, thankful for your friend’s presence.

"I know I’m not supposed to pry but, is he coming?"

You bit on your lips, hesitating. "I don’t know." You were scared to think about it. "I hope so."

But your worries vanished as fast as they came - Hoseok stepped inside the exhibit along with Jimin, looking like a damn model. Of course he would look so good. Obviously, you weren’t the only one who noticed his presence (or maybe you were just too aware because you cared).

Hoseok, despite spotting you right away, didn’t come to you right away. No, his attention was completely captured by the first paintings and you couldn’t blame him. He, out of all people in this room, would recognize and appreciate most your work. Not only because it was your work, but because he would recognize and understand. And he did.

He took his time and you followed his steps, walking behind him without a word. You smiled at people from time to time, but your attention stayed on him and on his face, wanting to not miss any of his reaction, of his emotions.

"I guess I was right." Hoseok stopped at the last painting. It was the lake and the old willow and stars in the dark sky. He turned to look at you, eyes shining brightly. "It helped you. Healed you."

"It did." You admitted and took one more step towards him.

There was so much you wished you could say. So much you wanted to show him. But now that you stood before him, every words, every needs just vanished except one: the need to kiss him.

Hoseok watched you carefully, scrutinizing your face. "You were awake." It almost sounded like he was trying to reassure himself. "Of course you did."

"I did."

"Will you listen to my confession again, then?" Hoseok inhaled sharply as by the end of his question, you had grabbed his hand and thus taking him quite off guard. His eyes averted from your pretty face to your interlaced fingers. God, this touch - he had missed it.

"Well," A wicked smile spread on your lips as you took a final step towards him. You were close, almost feeling his body against yours. "Tell me more about me and blue dress." And as you kissed his jaw, you added, "And what you wanted to do to me from day one."

#bts #hoseok #bts smut #bts fanfic #hoseok fic #j-hope #bts fic #bts x reader #hoseok x reader #make it right

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pi-cat000 · 3 years

Text

Magnus Archives/BNHA (1)

Fandoms: Crossover between The Magnus Archives & My Hero Academia

Characters: Jon and Martin (friendship)

Summary: Jon and Martin are reincarnated into the BNHA universe after failing to prevent the apocalypse. They compare their quirks to their respective Entities.

Will probably post on ao3 at some point.

(Part 2 here)

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

“They registered my quirk as Veracity you know.”

“Veracity?”

“Yes. Quite abstract. I suppose they thought they were being poetic…” Jon mutters, bitterness colouring his tone. He stares out at the playground, watching his age mates run about in a boundless display of youthful energy and innocent excitement.

From his place on the bench beside him, Martin hums, halfway between sympathetic and thoughtful, “I think it’s a nice name. It softens the edges a bit.”

“I should have expected it…to have a quirk like this… after we saw what your one did,” he curls his small child hand into a fist, “I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up.”

Quirks. The strange and wondrous abilities gifted to people of their new reality. Jon had hoped, when he hadn’t presented with one at the usual age of four, that he would remain quirkless. He had suffered enough with having terrifying abilities in his previous life. Unsurprisingly, he didn’t get his wish.

Martin reaches out, hesitates, then pats him lightly on the knee, “You’re taking it a lot better than me. At least you didn’t breakdown and spend the night in hospital.”

“I suppose,” he frowns, glancing sideward, “Though our situations are hardly comparable.”

Martin’s quirk put any person he touched with both hands into a fog-filed, alternate dimension/temporal pocket. Its similarity to The Lonely had been poorly received by both of them. Especially, considering Jon had been the one to suffer through its first accidental activation. While he had found himself lost and alone in a grey, fog filed, void, a hysterical Martin had been rushed to hospital. There the doctors had had to wait for him to calm down enough that a Quirk specialist could walk him through the process of reversing the effect.

“You thought you had trapped me for good. Of course, you would take that poorly.”

The quirk specialist had banally called it ‘Cloud Prison’ like it wasn’t the residue of a primordial fear god leaking into their new reality. Not even six years of a second life could dull the pain and terror that had been their final moments before the apocalypse. To suddenly have such a stark reminder shoved in their faces had shaken them both.

“I would never have done that to you on purpose,” Martin murmurs, probably drawing the same connection as Jon, “It just happened so suddenly…”

“Yes, well, I am now painfully aware of how volatile and uncontrollable a quirk can be.”

Martin winces, “Does it activate every time you ask a question? You can’t control it at all?”

“It seems to be automatic. If I ask anyone a question they must answer truthfully. There is also a lovely mental component,” He lets his resentment grow, “so I can feel their unease when they answer. I’ll know if the person is trying to fight or when they’re trying to leave out an important detail. It is very similar to…before.”

He grits his teeth. There were no Entities in this word, aside for the residue that lived in their memories but sometimes that could be just as bad. The last thing his recovering mind needed was a reminder of how he had slowly lost his humanity.

“I also feel them. The people I trap alone in the fog.” Martin adds and shivers, “It’s horrible.”

“Yes. It is.”

They both sit in silence as the light began to fade.

Their time at the park is almost done. Soon they would have to return to the foster home they both shared. Jon, being a mentally unstable adult trapped in the body of a child, had been too much for a young single mum who had never wanted children. He barely remembers her leaving him at a local shopping centre being hardly old enough to walk at the time. Martin’s parents had died in a villain attack, because, alongside fantastical powers, this reality was full of brightly coloured Heroes and Villains like they had woken up inside a comic book. Six years in and it still felt too surreal to be real.

“Well, we don’t have to use our quirks. It’ll just never touch anyone with both hands, and I’ll ask all your questions for you so you won’t have to worry either.”

Jon scoffs, “You can get away with wearing gloves. No need for anything dramatic.”

“You know what I mean Jon.”

“Reo,” he interrupts, “please remember to call me Reo. We already attact more attention than is probably good for us.”

They weren’t Martin Blackwood and Jonathan Sims anymore. That life was behind them. Here, they were Jiro Shirakumo and Reo Tsukauchi and the sooner they acclimatised to using their new names the better. Maybe, one day, he would even start feeling like ‘Reo’ and ‘Jon’ would fade away like a bad dream.

“You’re one to talk. We would attract less attention if you would loosen up a bit. I mean, I’m not perfect, but kids don’t talk so formally.”

“I would rather not suffer through the indignity of dumbing myself down on top of everything, thank you very much.”

“It’s not that bad. Why are you always so prickly?” Martin pokes him in the shoulder, grinning now, forcing Jon to shuffle away, “Normal kids smile every now and then you know.”

“I think you enjoy being a ‘normal’ kid a bit too much.” Martin had settled into his second skin with more grace than Jon had. Not that he was trying very hard.

A laugh, “Well yeah, I mean, no responsibilities, no nightmare monsters, no conspiracies, no apocalypse. It’s nice.”

“Oi Jiro!”

A heavy-set kid, two years their senior, stomps up and glares at them, “you and the weirdo coming or what because I don’t want to miss dinner again,”

“He has a name you know,” Martin reprimands, smile quickly turning into a stern frown, “Maybe you should try using it.”

“Tch. Whatever. Mrs Suzuki said to be back by five and I’ll get in trouble if I leave you losers behind, so you better hurry up.” The boy storms away, back to his group of friends, who all look their way and laugh.

“I don’t remember kids being so mean when I was young the first time around,” Martin complains, standing and brushing himself down, “You would think they’d have better things to do.”

He shrugs. Child bullies were so far beneath him that he barely registers when they shout insults at him, shove him into walls or knock books out of his hand. Not like he didn’t deserve a little hardship after dooming his entire world. Besides, Martin took offence enough for the both of them, getting into plenty of arguments on Jon’s behalf. Of course, now they both had somewhat threatening quirks, their fellow housemates were a lot wearier when it came harassing him.

“Come on.” He stands as well, “I for one do not want another lecture.”

“Mrs Suzuki does like to drag them out,” Martin agrees as they trail along behind the older kids.

Their neighbourhood is full of two-story apartment blocks and tightly packed houses which line the relatively quiet streets. It is only a short ten-minute walk from the park to the share-house and one he is intimately familiar with seeing as his carers force him to take it twice a week for ‘the exercise.’ At least the weather is pleasant here.

In the fading light of the afternoon Martin’s wispy, cloud-like hair and blue pupilless eyes catch the glow so they are almost orange. Martin’s strange physical features had become more pronounced since his quirk’s activation. Apparently, it was genetic, something a quick glance at the few photos Martin had of his biological family confirmed. This world sported many people with odd features and he just hoped that his own plain appearance, straight black hair and dark eyes, would remain that way. All he wanted was fade into the background and live his second life as peacefully as possible.

...

(Part 2 here): Jon learns more about his truth-quirk and deals with other people learning about his truth-quirk.

#the magnus archives #tMa #jon sims #martin blackwood #bnha #Baku no hero academia #CrossOver #angst #reincarnation #they are both about six years old in this fic #loney martin #the eye jon #fanfic #Hero/Archivist Au

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fishyfod · 3 years

Text

Blackadder Goes Forth

Boom Boom Boom Boom!

Boom Boom Boom.

Boom Boom Boom Boom!

Boom Boom Boom?

The best season by far, and one that’s honestly chilling. Arguably this is in no small part due to the more recent time-period that’s far more familiar to us today.

Cast-wise, we have five regulars: Rowan Atkinson as Captain Blackadder, Toni Robinson as Private Bladrick, Hugh Laurie as Lieutenant George, Tim McInnerny as Captain Darling and Stephen Fry as General Melchett. If Blackadder III excelled in one-on-ones, this season blew it out of the park, especially the returning dynamic between Blackadder, Baldrick and George.

Blackadder’s character always read like a cynical commentary on the absurd of his time-period, trying to cheat the system to act selfishly, with moderate amounts of success and failure. And on the surface it might look like this is his story this season too, because what is defecting in wartime if not selfish? Yet when set during WW1, it doesn’t seem like it, does it? He does not wish for more, to advance beyond his station; he wishes to stay alive, to leave the trenches. It contextualizes his character’s struggle as bleak.

This is definitely Baldrick’s best season. Yes, many of the jokes are rooted in his disgusting nature and prop humor, but expanding his speaking role even further really sells him as another character, rather than the more sidekick role he had before. He represents the poor and downtrodden, and although before he just seemed unfortunate - just someone to have bellow Blackadder - in the context of the war, he’s a poor unfortunate fellow, the everyday man caught up in the war he can’t understand.

George is the upperclassman with too many connection and far too much patriotism in his bones. Though he’s always supposed to be the daft one, I like the small parts where he realized Blackadder’s fooling him, and Hugh’s acting is absurdly good. No one’s having more fun than him on set. But like in season 3, perhaps he isn’t so different from Baldrick; he’s blinded by the glory to realize the almost certain death he faces. It��s also maddening to listen to him spout out propaganda and believe it full-heartedly.

Darling is clearly the butt of all jokes, although unlike in S1 and S2, here he’s a rival of Blackadder as well. It makes him antagonist, and I think Tim’s more suited to this role than Percy. It also leads me to my biggest complaint, which is how often his character is joked about because of gay undertones, which is quite unfortunate to watch nowadays.

Melchett is amazing, especially with the larger role he obtained this season. He’s an upper class twit, a subject of envy in the luxury he posseses away from the trenches, with a maddening jolly air about him. But where George I want to pity, Melchett is mad; how can he still send soldiers to their doom, how can he act as if he’s still in touch with the world? He’s hilarious, yet in the larger context I can’t help but feel he’s the true villain.

Almost every joke this season was chosen with the utmost care, and all of them stick the landing. The combination of mockery, the prop humor, and of course the witty lines and small jabs are all spot on. I’m also amazed with how frequently the hopelessness of the war and the absurdism of the army shines through; think the court-martial trial or the twenty-minuters.

And the ending is perfect. It’s tragic, and all the characters seem to give off a sendoff, trying to joke and turn the situation hopeful. And it’s almost unexpected at times, because you watched this show to laugh, you didn’t expect Baldrick to yell that maybe the bloodshed can be avoided and have George stumped for words. Its not really an anti-war show, not really, but I’m not sure any show of this type can match the feelings this episode invokes.

#Blackadder #my posts #fishy.watch.Blackadder

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thecrenellations · 4 years

Photo

Return of the Thief Notes, Part Three: The Book of Pheris, Volume 2, Chapters 6-14 and “Alyta’s Missing Earring”

Notes from my first read, October 2020. (Part One | Part Two | TaT)

Contents: Elephants, guesses about gods and dead men, villain team up, the unexpected, AAAAAAH, elaboration on the word cloud above (which is one big Gen, medium Pheris, medium love, and scattered other names), and more quantitative analysis! I love this book.

Format: Page number. My thoughts (Context?)

Chapter 6

285. unkingly moment, last night with her at home

MISMATCHED STOCKINGS (I have a thing about this.)

Wedges of ribbons?

285. cute

286. a pitneen? A drunk bird?

Wait. Gift of animals??? Did he steal the thunderbolts wearing it?

A canary no longer

287. Hilarion and Ion, wow

Throw a cup of wine on me

288. War pants! War pants!

What’s Attolia wearing?

Sophos! (the whistling!)

288. Ok fine it’s gonna be sad ... I say as if I didn’t just experience the trial (the last lighthearted moment)

Pepper!

Be careful Pheris

Also Relius went to Dite and Juridius, right? (I was convinced Dite would show up)

Sinerine!

290. SOCKS! Yay <3 magus

I was resigned to not much magus but he is HERE!

He’s … so much nicer than he was to the kids in the Thief, lol

A CART!

Lamb, falling in same paragraph. Worried.

Gen :( Gen you ran all over the palace and leapt in the water last night. You are so stupid.

292. Yay Sophos I love you

Math buddies!

294. I’M SAD.

They have had this convo before

I love them

It’s because I can that I think I should

295. Do not overreach. Eddis is right

Danger in self indulgence?

I love her! “I was outside chasing your brother with a stick”

296. My heart. You have to trust yourself. I don’t know if I can. Then you have to trust us.

Tactical Irene!

Thanks I’m gonna hold on to it: “The Call of life is a s powerful as the call of death, and it is no weakness to answer to it”

297. Oh no. My children. Tell each other things like that!

Great time to be childish, Gen.

Yeah honestly. It’s bothered her FOREVER

299. Pull it together, kids!

Thx Helen

Inkpots … :( :( :(

Chapter 7

302. See … that Continent occupation isn’t good either!

303. Unfortunately that is NOT an alternative. Bc volcano.

305. This is stressful.

Chloe, interesting

306. Elephants

Oh my god it’s better than I ever could have imagined (there was like 10 years of lead up to the elephants, and I thoroughly enjoyed them)

I love him

Gen wtf

Yes drink up those guards (“We could keep [an elephant] in the guard’s bathhouse! There’s plenty of room.” “And the guards will bathe ...?” “In the palace reservoir.” “Our drinking water.”)

#6 Gen about elephants

308. This is gonna be a disaster

Hilarion with an eyeglass

Fuck Pheris is making this up.

Gen I love you

Oh my god

Honestly idk if Gen is having fun but I AM

They’re. They’re such a power couple.

Also Bu-seneth is so rude to Attolia

309. so vague about battle, but I’m sure it’s horrible

310. hero talk. Chills.

311. all the woman comparisons for Gen (“Would [a world with no war and no heroes be a bad thing?�� “That’s a woman’s question”)

Wow. Interesting. Anonymity

312. Don’t listen to them Gen!

Bad tempered cooks

313. lol. Good looks.

Gen. the hand joke. Why

Well that was … a scene (I don’t know my Henry V)

Reassuring to have a glove. Which one?

314. No. Bad. This is what I was afraid of. (Nahuseresh baiting Gen with Kamet)

Ok Pheris

315. That cannot be true. (it was not!)

Gen. No. No.

316. Wow. That worked out well. So far.

They called him annux. If Kamet is really dead…

319. Yeah Attolia is RIGHT

Yeah I can’t actually either!

Irene knows. In his story!

320. Glove resolved very fast

Interesting reversal (Gen and his dad)

Maddening!

Chapter 8

322. who’s charging off in a haze of glory now

Philologos wounded

Wait, the attendants follow him in to battle...

Cleon RIP

Temenus <3

No. Stenides

If they ever returned.

His brother died in an explosion

Gen’s tears

This is sad.

323. lion lamb :(

325. At least they have each other

Morality is an illusion. Like safety?

326. that’s what Costis was mapping, right? (nope)

How many has Gen killed now

328. Who. Pol? Ambiades? (The cairn man question remains)

Oh no

Oh no. you can fall from a horse

HILARION!

Is Fordad a spy?

I am just not accepting this yet

WAIT THE MEDES TOOK HIM! (I thought the Attolians had taken Gen, or Gen’s body, at first.)

330. wow things only Pheris can do

GDI Erondites

WOW THIS IS A VILLAIN TEAM UP

332. You gave it to him dude (Nahuseresh asking “Why does he still have this?” about Gen’s hook)

I love Gen. I wonder if he’s afraid.

This is bad.

Whose treason, whose betrayal?

333. Yeah! Kamet said so (“Tell me again that you are king.” “Annux, if you prefer.”)

334. Oh god.

Get your stories straight bastards

Rolled in a rug!

336. Oh gen

Oh god

Yeah this is …

Be careful what you ask for

338. What did he sign as, though, Attolis? Eugenides?

Nomenus wtf

What does mwt have against facial hair (Fordad, Nahuseresh)

Costis please come (idk how I thought he was going to help, but I was in Costis Denial and expected him to show up at any moment)

Everyone must be going through a lot

A face like an open grave

Gen.

Gen I love you

YES

Is he … invulnerable now?

Gen what.

Is he possessed? Is he already a god?

341. Yeah same. (“I think he meant that I should not fear him, either. I did, though ... I still followed him”)

This isn’t being self indulgent or overreaching, is it?

342. RIP Ion Nomenus

“My work”

Oh Nomenus

Does he just exist for the morally gray and loyal angst feelings? It works (...)

344. What did he DO

Yes! Swearing Gen!

345. love all caps Gen

Those names

Aaah

346. Ooof.

Chapter 9

347. moon promises

Yeah

Noooo Philologos :(

Legarus … :(

349. Gen what what

Sparks

Costis? Stenides? STENIDES?

Wow ok he killed Bu-seneth

350. god

See I said Nahuseresh shouldn’t have said that

Also is Gen a bastard

351. WHAT (“Because your council had just voted to kill him”)

Oh Helen

Oh Irene

Does he invite him in?

This is reassuring to the reader (“He can bear his god a little while without losing himself”)

Aaaaah Galen

354. Gen that’s a lot. A lot.

Don’t kill everyone.

So so so x7 of doom

Bye Yorn

I hope he wins too

Go away Nahuseresh

Omg

another fall

Interregnum

Ok it was Lader (when you don’t know who the man at the cairn was, keep on guessing!)

Yeah the circumstances thing is back

Oh god

Oh no

Chapter 10

361. how long has it been?

362. three days

I love them (Elephants! My excellent queen!)

You promised to trust him

364. Oh no. Oh no. (Relius)

370. These Helen convos…

371. Sad. :(

372. Emtis and Lader

Yeah.

Omg

374. Wow

Steal by elephant?

377. Don’t forget about Dite!

378. He’s gonna kill him?

379. Is Dite dead too?

Oh Sejanus

Oh I see

He’s got a mercy taste too

380. Switching!

Lying in moonlight. Hm.

381. Yesss

Nooooo

383. I’m nervous

Gods blessing on your road

Wow. <3

They would have fallen… (if Pheris had gone through with his plan, that’s how they both would have died)

Did not expect Sejanus feelings in Rott.

Chapter 11

386. He’s gonna know. But the trust.

Ion knows.

390. Gen…

Pheris is Lyopidus?

I’m scared

393. I kind of love Ion

More Sejanus, bring it on

I’m nervous

Hmmm… who could it be

395. MoW :( <3 I will not be ok if he dies too

Gen knows the way bc Costis (nope)

Oh my god these two (“I lied” “I know”)

Chapter 12

398. Oh no.

This is not

Her Thief

Irene. “only sleeping” this is what Eddis said to her

But mist… water???

Face touch

402. not living or dead. King

Yes. But no.

403. crying at everything and the MoW next to him

There he went

It was the Eddisians. He fought with them.

404. yeah that’s a lot to deal with, Pheris

405. what a mystery man (Sejanus)

Lol mysterious exit averted

Excuse me that was a difference

406. :(

Am I king

407. Helen is once again right. She’s also always right

MOIRA was Melisande???!??!? (who even knows)

409. ?? Irene?

Same as for Dite. Man loves his brothers. (nephews. you know what I mean.)

Nice.

AAH yup. Add it to the list (“How neatly you tie them together” ... the list of is ways Gen and Irene are becoming more like each other)

410. speaking of which where is Costis!

Hm… what god was that

I love their reactions

411. SPLENDID.

Oh Irene. It’s true <3

It’s so true (“When the king gives his heart he gives it completely”)

Now I’m crying again, at them

412. Gen, she has a point.

Amazing. I … I don’t think she meant to ask like THAT

Jesus, Gen.

You do not know a wagon from a wheelbarrow

413. Irene!

She’d better get home safe.

Gen!

Omg

414. I have another bad feeling, about Gen

415. High king or queen though?

Magus <3

Chapter 13

416. “of course”

That’s ominous

417. No! Sejanus!

A gut wound yikes

418. sadness

419. lol “ill will”

We’re in Roa. My heart’s pounding.

422. I love Gen.

YESSS

Yes I love them.

Sheep.

Kamet!!!

?!?

Costis. Mattresses exist.

424. Oh no.

426. roof dream

Good roof dream

Good job Helen

428. TWINS. Everyone was RIGHT

Reyatimi

Oh shit. The sky.

Oh dear. :( aaah

430. Climbing the rigging!

“it’s just that you have so many least favorite things”

431. I love them (Gen and Irene)

432. I love them (Gen and Helen)

433. RIGHT! I was thinking

I can’t <3 (they’re naming the baby after the MoW, and it’s perfect, and she’s not gonna tell us, huh)

OH MY GOD!!! (baby thief!)

WOW!

434. AAAAAAH (Hector! @threetoadswaltz finished reading before me and knew that I would explode about this and I DID, I threw my arms in the air! HECTOR!)

PERFECTION!

435. AAAAAAAAH (this was when it became clear they were going to dance on the roof)

Yes she was (as surefooted as the king)

Is this the first time she’s Irene

Yes.

I’m filled with happiness

Celia and Lavia again … lol.

Lol Chloe

THALIA

CRENELATED wall

HE’S ALIVE

Kamet is a sweetheart

The gods!!!

The gods!

Aracthus

Mystery goddess?

Ula?

Moira! Yes!

(I was very happy. The page itself:)

Alyta’s Missing Earring

Wait. Was it Alyta.

Glad we got a bi god (with all due respect to Immakuk and Ennikar, whose bi-ness and godliness is perhaps more up to the reader)

Got very bi very fast

Also. He’s Gen.

Interesting difference in story

Kathodicia!

Are we literally getting ALL the answers? (No. But so many more than I expected!)

Gen’s grandfather sucks

An urn huh

Omg. Heiro’s earrings?

Oh my gosh.

Same, Gen. Same.

Obvs Phresine knows.

Is Phresine a goddess?

Same, Gen. Same.

She got to tell a story! She is so happy!

I think he’s a little scared

Moleskin

Yeah peace huh

This series is socially sanctioned silliness

1000 Eugenides. Wow.

They did melt though

Little thief.

<3 <3 <3

He’s a character in a story

A big question

Tamarisk? Takima? (We are not getting all the answers.)

That’s it! Thank you for reading - it feels very self-indulgent to type up all of these, but I will honestly take most chances to relive the intense and wonderful experience of reading this book for the first time, which often means looking back at my own notes and sometimes means sharing them with people. Also, I really love reading liveblogs/real-time book thoughts, so here is one from awhile ago ... all at once.

Anyway, check out this word cloud from all of the notes (made with this site):

It’s ... mostly just character names, with a variety of words that express my enthusiasm and feeling (love, lol, wow, yes, excuse me...). Gen is the biggest because I said his name 115 times! Here are some totals for the other characters who came up a lot:

115 - Gen (and 10 Eugenides)

42 - Pheris

26 - Costis

18 - Irene (and 6 Attolia)

16 - Helen (and 8 Eddis)

10 - Sophos (and 4 Sounis)

12 - the magus

11- Kamet

11 - Teleus

10 - Relius

9 - Ion

6 - MoW

6 - Moira

5 - Sejanus

These don’t fully represent how much I had to say about them, because I didn’t always refer to people by name or title ... which kind of explains why Costis’s total is ridiculously high compared to how much he is in the book - I likely have more notes about other characters, but I didn’t need to bring up their names because they were already present in the scenes I was taking notes on (for example, I think I talked about Relius more than Teleus, the magus, or Kamet, but many of those just referred to him as he, because it was obvious to me who I meant). But also I was just looking for Costis! Anyway. My use of names and titles for the monarchs also really illustrates how much this book reshaped the way I think of these characters’ relationship to them, Gen’s and Irene’s especially.

It’s representative of my feelings about this series that I wrote “I love them” about so many combinations of characters. Who, exactly? And how many times? Well...

5 - Gen and Irene

4 - Gen and Helen

2 - Gen and Pheris

1 - Gen, Irene, Helen, and Sophos

1 - Helen and Sophos

1 - Costis and Kamet

1 - unknown combo of Gen, Pheris, and Relius on p.166, I love them all and can’t remember. Kamet’s map was there, too, and I do love Kamet, so maybe he was in there too.

no matter what the numbers say, I love them all endlessly, and I love this book.

be blessed in your endeavors, yes I will take any questions about these notebook screams, etc.

#annotating this caused me to look back at so many scenes i will never be over #aaah #return of the thief #the queen's thief #mwt #return of the thief spoilers #rott spoilers #something i #hey #threetoadswaltz #i tagged you because i mentioned you but reading this is not Required #you know it all anyway. ... this time ;)#it was just your exploding comment

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gold-eyes-vengeful-heart · 3 years

Text

Silvarre

((An aside of a fic, about the remnants of the IXth Legion.

Contains spoilers for 5.5′s MSQ! Also contains a (villain) Garlean being quite canon-typically imperialist if you’re not down for reading that kinda thing which: understandable, have a nice night))

===

Tiberius mal Cassius--or Tiberius van Cassius, as far as he was concerned--settled more easily into his Weapon’s cockpit, and just sighed in resignation over her comms-link.

“Repeat that again for me, Tesserarius Venatio.” With a simple impulse of thought, he sent his Weapon inching closer to the port side of his airship, her aetherial wingtips getting within yalms of it. (But it was far from the greatest show of precision he had ever done; in Silvarre’s cockpit, they were one, and they were capable of much together.)

{yes}

{together}

The thoughts strayed into his own and he mentally embraced them with a smile. “I had been hoping you would see things my way.” It had been glorious, watching her rip straight through her containment as if it hadn’t even been there, in a shower of metal and glass and torn cabling. It had been significantly less glorious to see the other Weapons escape into the wild, but...no matter. He would find them and either destroy them or tame them with Silvarre.

“S-Sir?”

The tesserarius’ voice made him realize that he seemingly had been talking to himself, and so he just raised a brow and replied. “I’m waiting, Venatio. You have me talking to my child, you’re taking so long.”

(He couldn’t have them thinking he was too much of a madman.)

“Y-Yes...As I was saying, the Eorzean Butcher came back, and she killed your entire squad of spies when she did.” An image came up in the corner of the main viewing screen, and Tiberius’ eye flicked lazily to it.

A bunch of corpses impaled on a tree. It might have just seemed like pure savagery to the uninformed eye--and it was, really, even then--it also told Tiberius that even biting that bloody savage in half hadn’t been enough to really kill her. He really should have assumed, when he found no body or anything other than the massive spray of dark blood from the initial bite; then again, there were very few things aside from some particular species of slime monsters that came back from such a life-ending blow.

Until her. Of course.

“None of us know how,” the tesserarius continued with an audible gulp, “or perhaps it’s just someone imitating her, to keep the savages’ morale up--”

“Oh, no, no.” Tiberius casually cut him off. “I’m quite certain that’s her again. I’m beginning to think that the rumors of her in particular being near unkillable have merit.” He sent Silvarre into a gentle ascent, with a single thought and a twitch of the controls. “It would hardly be the strangest thing I’ve seen in the savages’ lands.”

“Then how do we overcome--?”

He, yet again, cut the increasingly-panicked tesserarius off. More firmly this time. “If you believe the only way to subdue a savage is to kill them, then you have a distinct lack of imagination. Even if she’s one of those that can’t have their minds and their wills broken enough to submit--and I quite believe that, given what I’ve heard of her and her tribe--there are more ways of getting an immortal out of the way than one of you might think. If you bury anything deep enough, out of reach of even the strongest savage enough...”

He trailed off meaningfully, and his underling sighed shakily.

“Well, yes,” the tesserarius admitted, if reluctantly. “You and your...daughter...”

He clearly thought the title strange, but he of course didn’t have the spine to contradict his Legatus.

“...did manage to get her out of the way for quite some number of weeks, doing what you did. I can’t speak for the others, but...I’m certain you’ll find a way, even if no one else has.”

Tiberius immediately picked up on the odd tone of the last bit. “But?”

“It’s nothing, Legatus Cassius.”

“Oh, come on. It’s something.”

“How many of us are going to die in the process?” The scared little remark almost squeaked out of the other man, and the silence that stretched on between them over the comms-link grew to what was probably an unbearable level on Venatio’s end.

But, finally, Tiberius just chuckled, though a hard edge laced his voice as he responded.

“I’m not fond of sacrificing my own men for no reason. You know this, Tesserarius Venatio. Of course I’m going to do my best to avoid doing it. But...” His voice lowered, and though Venatio wouldn’t see it, a strange glint came to his eyes. “When dealing with savages, sometimes it’s the only way, or they’re going to kill and maim all of us in the name of their backwards ‘justice’. It’s no dishonor to lose one’s life in the noble pursuit of saving one’s men from the enemy...and saving one’s country.”

The nerves came right back to the tesserarius’ voice. “Our country is on fire, Legatius Cassius. The Prince has just blithely allowed a civil war that is tearing us apart--”

“So it’s up to us to take the reins. To crush those other Legions and their inferior Legatus leaders under heel. To rebuild it, in our image.” Tiberius sighed, rolling his neck for a moment. “And if we can trap that particularly obnoxious savage, I’m certain we can do the same to the rogue Prince. If they don’t actually wipe one another out, that is.” That was always a possibility, and one that he inwardly was...sort of hoping for. If just because it would be the perfect time to stab whoever the victor was in the back.

It was as good a plan as he could come up with at the moment, anyway. Unlike the other Legions, they still had the benefit of their engineers and medics not being brainwashed by...whatever that horrible tower in the Garlean homeland was, gorging itself on the minds of the best Garleans and turning them into little better than mindless ants, all working towards some obscure dark purpose.

{don’t like it no}

{evil}

{badbadbadbad}

The discordance washed over his thoughts and Silvarre briefly banked left and then right in a silvery-armored arc, as if to shake off the memory of that thing they had seen before. He wasn’t any more thrilled to think about it than she was, and even lightly patted the console. “Ah, my apologies, dear. It is unpleasant--”

“Sir?”

Tiberius blinked, briefly. Here he thought he had turned that off first. “Yes, yes. At any rate, we still have our Legion’s engineers together and away from whatever the Prince is building out there that makes a mockery of our Empire.” He had heard himself about the bizarre actions of those exposed too closely or too long to the towers, their beastman-like praising of the Empire as if the Empire was a mere eikon to be worshipped. Disgusting. The thought of it curled his lip, even. “We’ll just have to ensure that that Roegadyn is shoved back out of the way whenever she decides to interfere with us--and we now know of a fairly sure-fire way to do so. And in the meantime, continue to establish our Legion’s own base outside of Garlemald, lest the Prince and his irritating lackey do something immensely foolish and lethal to the whole continent.”

They would likely not be so lucky as to have the two simply off themselves with their own plotting. But he could hope.

“And then we can put all our heads together and figure out how to put all of them down forever, and continue the work the true Empire started. And we can get my Weapons back...that one the test subject stole most certainly included.” A vein of unnatural light pulsed lightly at the corner of his eye, driven by a flash of anger, and he just lightly rubbed that painful spot until it went back down. Weapon-blood was inconvenient at times, wasn’t it? “These so-called gods of theirs will continue to ravage the planet until they leave it a dead rock in space. If they won’t take proper care of their own damned lands, and doom the rest of us in doing it, I’ll make them at the point of a gunblade.”

He finally cut the connection, sending Silvarre back into a dive to follow the airship. It didn’t matter to him if his foes were Garlean, Eorzean, or any of the other savages--even if they were eikons, he would see them all crushed out of his way, and he would finish the noble goal the Empire had started.

It was the only way to save a world that was falling apart at the seams, as far as he was concerned. And he wouldn’t stand by and watch while it happened.

#; writing #5.5 spoilers #tl;dr the weirdo who took over the IXth Legion has a Weapon that he thinks of like his own kid #and also legit thinks he's doing 'the right thing' in...uh doing what the Empire does #also he's quick on the uptake and realizes #that if he needs Dae out of the way for a while he can just chomp her #AND that you don't have to kill someone to make them not fuck with your plans #which is /handy/ when you're dealing with Dae who's basically #wearing bootyshorts with GOD WON'T LET ME DIE on the ass

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thefantasygirl3 · 4 years

Text

The fearsom five's christmas hijynx

Genre/warnings: Comedy, Slice of life.

Word count: 7 792

Summary: The other fearsome five are hiding in fear, scared over what Quackerjack might have gotten them for christmas. When he offers them their gifts, they get nervous and make up the excuse of christmas shopping to keep him distracted. Meanwhile they find ways to protect themselves from the dastardly gifts.

Notes: This one really came out later than I’d expect and became far longer than expected! But here it is and I hope it satisfies someone.

The city of st. Canard. It was covered in a white sheet of cold frozen flakes. The day of christmas was quickly approaching and the citizens were all running about in their holiday craze. Many were preparing their houses for the cheerful holiday, others were doing some last minute christmas shopping and some others were preparing traps so they could finally see santa in the feathers. Many active people out and about.

In fact, even some of the villains were preparing for their christmas plans.

Negaduck was walking through the dark alleyways, stealthily making his way towards the hideout of his evil team. The villain was scoffing to himself and making disgusted sounds as he stomped his way through. "BLEGH! Christmas junk all over the place! It makes me sick to my stomach seeing all the lights and colorful decorations and APPALLING GLITTER! Makes me want to burn everything to the ground" he complained to no one as he kept heading towards his hideout, making sure he moved undetected through the more populated areas before he finally reached the nest.

Entering the building, he kept talking out loud and started to laugh menacingly to himself. “But it doesn’t matter! All this meaningless malarkey is at least going to be a good distraction for my next heist! Mwua ha ha ha ha! Yes! They will be too busy ripping up presents and stuffing themselves full, no one will be around to stop me from robbing the bank! It's the… perfect… crime…" as Negaduck kept monologuing to himself, his steps started to slow to a stop as he reached the middle of the hideout. The duck immediately took note of the fact that the place was pretty much empty. There should be people here already, he had told them to be there early! "Damn ditzy dopes! I should be getting the chainsaw ready for them when they arrive!" he grumbled angrily as he rounded the corner, heading towards the workspace.

As soon as he did so, something caught his eye. Out of one of the boxes, a violet petal was peeking out. It was quite obvious and it made Negaduck rub his temples in exasperation. Walking over towards the box, the duck reached out and grabbed the petal in his fingers, immediately plucking it harshly. And with that, Bushroot shot out of the box with a loud "YOUCH!" and landed on his butt, outside the box while rubbing his hair in pain. "Hello, vegetable. Mind telling me WHAT YOU WERE DOING HIDING IN A BOX!?!" Negaduck yelled at the plant scientist on the floor, tapping his foot as he awaited an answer. "N-Negaduck!” Bushroot yelped as he jolted up and crawled back, bumping into a big wooden panel that fell over and revealed Megavolt, curled up on the ground. "Negaduck?!" he exclaimed surprised as he shot up from his place on the floor. "Negaduck! Y-you're here early!" Liquidator added on as his head materialized out of the puddle underneath the fridge.

"Yes I am! And you'll be seeing an early grave if you don't tell me what you're doing!" the duck who's name was repeated earlier demanded as he grabbed a hold of Megavolt and pulled him off of the ground. "Don't you realize! It's christmas! HE might be here soon! We'll be doomed" the plug-head explained in fear as he was shaking on his knees and in the other's hand. "BHA! You idiots gave away our HIDEOUT!?!" the yellow clothed duck shouted in rage, launching Megavolt back into the mutant plant. "Which one of you gave it away?! It's probably that stupid clown! Still hiding from me like a coward" he growled in a low, very aggressive voice while looking around the room and punching a box or two. "No, boss! It's him were talking about! Quackerjack!" Liquidator tried to explain as he crawled out from under the fridge, cowardly moving closer to the other teammates.

"What? You're afraid of that dope? You've gotta be kidding me" Negaduck started to laugh at the quivering trio, waving his hand dismissively at them before walking over to the work table. "Don't you understand!? Quackerjack makes toys! You give away toys on christmas! And we got a text before, saying he got some very special gifts for us!" Bushroot sputtered out as he ran behind the others and kept shaking in terror. "Yeah! And we have no idea what's in store! WE NEED TO PREPARE FOR HIS ASSAULT!!!" the rat panicked rather quickly as he waved his arms in the air. "He could be here any sec-" as the water man began his part of the explanation, the loud sound of a door being smashed open was heard, followed with a shout of "I'M HEEEERE~!".

The team flew together into a big, fearful hug and shivered hard enough for the sound of their shuddering to be painfully clear. The boss of the team just shook his head and looked at them annoyed, but in slight amusement. From around the corner, Quackerjack emerged with the biggest grin on his face, two small gift boxes and one larger one. "Geez you guys! If you were all so cold, why didn't you wear a jacket or something? WOOH HA HA!" he laughed at them all and walked over to the table, placing the gifts on it while ignoring the angry duck's protests. "O-oh! You know! It's cooler without them!" Liquidator tried to act casual while pushing the other two aside, not wanting to embarrass himself more than necessary. "Anyways! … W-what'cha got there?" he then asked as he kept a distance between himself and the most likely very deadly gifts.

"OH! You mean your awesome christmas presents?! Yeah! That's what I got!" the jester told his friend cheerfully as he bounced from foot to foot, jingling his bells about with the bouncing of his hat. "Oh wow! Quacks! Th-that's… so nice of you! C-can't wait for tomorrow!" Bushroot said with a very nervous laugh, rubbing his hands together in some sort of attempt to keep himself calm and away from running out of the room immediately.

"AAAAAW! But I can't wait for TOMORROW! Can't you open them now?! I hear that some countries celebrate christmas eve" Quackerjack said in his usual ever-changing tone, going from a whine to a more smug sounding voice. "Yeah. Go ahead! Why don't we see what you all got?" Negaduck said in his fake nice voice, curling his finger around the present ribbon. "Oh! Um… that sounds… really nice! B-but… but… um…" now the man was at a loss of words, trying to think of an excuse to not be made into a duck salad. "W-well… we… don't have a gift for you yet! How can we open your… probably great gifts when we don't have anything to give you?" Megavolt chimed in as he ran over to their friend and put an arm around him, trying his very best to convince him that they really did want to open it and not rather be on the other side of the earth.

"Oh. No no no! It's ok! I'd much rather just get the gift of seeing someone finally smile when I give them something! If the kids won't appreciate my toys, at least you guys can enjoy my gifts!" The toymaker said in a rather happy voice, seemingly just out for his teammates' appreciation. This just made the electric man start to sweat and become very flustered, stuttering out an incoherent excuse. Quackerjack just stared at him in pure excitement.

"Aaaaah… I guess the cat's out of the bag. We couldn't keep it secret for long" Liquidator sighed disappointed as he moved over to his two buddies, putting a hand on each of their shoulders and giving them a wink each. "Wh-what? What secret? Are you guys keeping something from me?!" The now curious jester asked as he looked at the three, getting himself worked up about what this thing could possibly be. "You see, Quacks, we got a great deal on a collective gift we wanted to give you tomorrow, at the mall. But if you want to do the gift giving today, we have no other choice but to pay for the express shipping!" the previous business man said in his usual "trying to sell you something" way, putting his hands on the other's shoulders. "Oh please" the yellow suited villain groaned and rubbed his beak, unable to believe they thought this ridiculous lie would work.

"REALLY?! Oh goodie! I'm sorry I made you spoil it, but I'm so curious now! Can we go immediately?". Of course, when the lie was told to the bluntest shovel in the cutlery drawer, then it wasn't as unbelievable. "Yeah! Of course we can! It will let us do some last minute christmas shopping!" Bushroot said with a grin, putting his vine arm around the oblivious toymaker and leading him outside, the rat and dog following close after them. "HEY! WHERE DO YOU FOOLS THINK YOU'RE GOING?! WE HAVE A HEIST TO PLAN!!!" the ever angry Negaduck screamed after his four subordinates, waving his arms around as he ran after them, only to be buried under a big pile of snow as soon as he walked outside.

Walking through the mall, Quackerjack was following his friends while doing cartwheels and handstands. "Oh boy, oh boy! I just love surprises! Can't we walk faster?!" he giggled as he pushed himself off the ground and landed right back on his feet. "Um… Liquidator? Do we even have a surprise? Please tell me we do! I don't wanna become toy stuffing!" Megavolt was still panicking and sparking while he grabbed a hold of the dripping dog, shaking him around before getting smacked in the face with a frying pan made out of water. "Not to fear, my friends! I have a deal prepared for our cooky friend to keep him busy and with satisfaction 100% guaranteed!" he told the two beside him before he leaned in and started whispering his idea to them.

As they walked around the corner, the team stopped their purple and red friend, to his surprise. "OH! Are we here now?!" he asked them as he jumped up and down, clapping his hands in excitement. "My friend! Are you feeling bored during christmas eve? Feeling the need for some fun? Try… The ARCADE!" Liquidator announced as he moved out of the way, gesturing towards the huge paradise of video games. As soon as Quackerjack saw it, his smile immediately dropped and his face morphed into anger. "THE ARCADE!?! Are you kidding me?! Video games are mindless dribble! They are destroying the toy industry! And you're saying my gift is playing some GAMES at the ARCADE?!" he started yelling at the three while pulling his hat down in rage and frustration.

"Oh of course not! We know that you hate this type of stuff! Which is why we brought you here!" Bushroot told the angry, jingling jester while he was throwing a temper tantrum. The duck then looked confused about that response, not sure how that made any sort of sense. "Don't tell me you didn't bring any toys with you! How were you planning to wreck the place without them?" Megavolt asked with a smug sounding voice, raising his eyebrows at him and smirking like a proud bastard. Quackerjack looked a little confused still for a moment until he connected the dots, getting a huge, eager grin on his beak. He quickly pulled out his wind up teeth and ran over towards the other guys, giving them a big hug before letting them go and saying "Oh thank you guys! This is such a wonderful gift! I'll be a couple of hours! It's PLAYTIME!!!". Then he was off to cause chaos.

The three looked as he ran off, waving and smiling while wishing him a merry christmas until he was out of view. They then let out a big sigh and sank down on the floor, as if melting from the release of tension. "Ok. So! Now that he's distracted and happy, we can finally get something ready for the assault" Megavolt sighed and moved his glance over towards Liquidator. "By the way, couldn't he just come here and destroy the place himself?" he then asked as they all had the moment to just collect themselves and come back to their senses. "Of course, but he doesn't need to know that" the dog muttered as he got up from his little puddle and helped clean off some dust from bushroot, who spoke up soon thereafter. "Alright. Here is the idea. We will all need to find a way to prevent these toys from attacking us! They will most likely be very advanced or dangerous! So we will need the best of the best stuff to stop them!".

"Yes! And I know exactly what I'll get for this!" the rat proclaimed confidently as he walked to the front of the group, pointing towards a map of the shopping center. "I will be going over to the appliance department and find the best CPU disruptor a man can buy!" he said confidently and put his hands on his hips in a matching demeanor. Bushroot walked over and took a glance of the map, extending his arm and pointing at the only plant store in the mall. "I'll go and see if I can find a good plant that I can mutate". "Well then, I guess I will have to… hmm… I guess going to the pet store to find some vicious fish could be of help" Liquidator pointed at the pet store and left a big water droplet to run down the display. "Alright! We got a plan!" The sparking man exclaimed as he put his hand up, then pointed towards the rest of the mall and shouted "Now GO GO GO!". And with that, they scatter.

The plant scientist was glancing around in the gardening shop, browsing through the different flowers and plants. He deeply enjoyed all of the greenery inside the store. In particular, he was taken aback by a beautiful orchid, making a double take before taking a stop beside the purple seductress. “Why hello there, you gorgeous flora. Ah~ If only my hands weren't tied, i'd buy you in a heartbeat” he sighed and gently rubbed it's petals in a very flirty manner.

As Bushroot was having this rather intimate moment, an old duck was clearing his throat behind him, scaring the ever living crap out of him. "Excuse me, sir. I couldn't help but notice that you are a plant lover, just like myself. Are you looking for something specific?" he asked the now shaking plant man, correcting his glasses that were sliding down his beak.

"Oh! Yes! I'm looking for something… oh wow! Who is that?!" Bushroot interrupted himself as he saw this gorgeous tall blossom, right behind the old florist. "Ah! You mean ms. Antirrhinum! Or more commonly known, the snapdragon flower. She is a beauty, isn't she?" He perked up a bit as the green duck was gawking over this big red cute belle. "Ms? So she's single?" Bushroot sighed as he circled the snapdragon and was practically drooling all over it. "Ah… ha ha ha! As single as they get, I suppose" the florist chuckled before heading over and putting a hand on his shoulder. "Now, what was it that you needed?".

"Huh? Oh! Yes! Sorry! I… I need something more…" as the scientist got back on task, he leaned in towards the other duck, scanning the shop quickly before whispering "... vicious". The florist looked up at him with a rather confused look, seeming shocked about the request. "... oh! You meant something exotic, right! I have many fierce ladies in this store!" He laughed softly at him as he started wandering past him towards the exotic area of the store. "I'm sure we can find a gal to suit your needs!" He added on as he motioned towards the countless colorful plants.

"What? No! No I mean- like literally! Do you have a plant that could, completely theoretically, rip a robotic teddy bear with built in flamethrowers limb for limb? Or chew a killer fairy with a big chainsaw to bits?" Bushroot interrupted him as he tried to explain himself, without giving out too much information about his plan. Clearly doing well! The duck looked over at him and just stared for a few seconds, his face scrunching up into a nervous frown. "Well… we technically aren't allowed to have any sort of plants like that" he told him while starting to roll his fingers and sweat slightly, wiping it off as soon as he felt it roll down his forehead. "Please! You've got to have something even slightly… wait… technically?" the plant mutant then pointed out as he realized the strange wording. As he said that, the florist carefully glanced around the room, as if making sure no one else was in there at that very moment. "I might have someone you would like to meet… if you can keep a secret, that is" he whispered to Bushroot, who was quick to perk up and say "Oh of course. I am far from a narc, sir".

The duck looked around still as he approached a shelf full of seeds, making sure the coast was clear as he started pushing it out off the way to reveal a tough looking door. He quietly unlocked it and pulled his customer inside. As the villain was pulled into the dimly lit room, he was greeted with a bunch of very ravenous looking carnivorous plants. "Oh my goodness! A venus flytrap! Yellow pitcher plant! Cobra lily! AH, a Butterworth!" the awestruck scientist started ogling all the exotic, dangerous, man-eating plant life as he ran around the room like an excited kid on… well, christmas. "Yes. They aren't very legal to sell, but I can tell you are a lover of all plants, just like myself. But enough delaying! Let me introduce you to my precious Monica" the florist told the man, who was still adoring all the big scary vegetation, before walking over towards a large cup shaped flower with a big leaf over it's red, spiked rim. Bushroot gave away a gasp as he saw said plant and ran over to get a better look of it, gushing out "Is that… a tropical pitcher plant?! Oh wow, she's such a beauty! I'll take her! How much does $10 000 sound?! I can get you that if it means I can take such a sweet doll home with me~". He looked shocked at him, not able to believe the amazing offer given. He was practically seeing dollar bills as he reached his hand out and shook the other's hand in an immediate agreement. "Of course, sir! You got a deal! Let me write you down on a payment plan!" he told him as the plant man was still drooling over this beauty of a flower.

Inside the electrical appliance store, the rat was pushing a cart along and looking around at the boring SD cards and other computer parts that would be of no help to him when being run over by a life-sized toy train. Anxiety was starting to settle in on him as he scanned over the stuffed shelves, unable to focus on finding the disruptor he oh so needed when the constant thought of himself being tortured by adorable, crazed murder toys kept popping up in his mind. His eyes darted around, trying his very best to stay focused on finding the life-saving christmas miracle.

"Hello sir! How can I help you?" a nasally voice spoke up suddenly, earning a surprised scream from Megavolt who jumped back into a defensive position, doing some fake karate before he saw the nerdy looking teenage girl. Judging by her lanyard, he could tell she worked there. Giving her an annoyed grumble, he just grabbed ahold of his cart once more and muttered "I know more than YOU". The girl just watched him walk by and frowned a little bit, earning another annoyed comment from the rodent of "Stupid kids. Probably don't even realize what a genius they are undermining".

"Dude! Are you that big, dangerous, evil supervillain, Megavolt?" another teen with long blond hair covering his face asked in a funky way, sounding like some sort of surfer-dude. Caught of guard, Megavolt only looked around in confusion, not sure whether he should confirm or deny that question. Unsure, he answered with a short and simple "... Yes?", wondering if he'd get thrown out or something. "Oh great! That means you must be smart!" the now relieved boy sighed as he grabbed a hold of the rat man and pulled him along towards the customer service counter. "W-Wait! Yes I am, but what do you need my intellect for?!" he asked baffled as he was dragged along towards a rather angry looking woman, standing beside a toaster that stood on the counter.

"Well this lady just came in, yelling about how her toaster isn't toasting properly. I was wondering if you would be able to find the problem, dude" the teen asked as he looked at him in desperation, seemingly somewhat lost and frightened by the peeved of lady staring daggers at the two of them. Megavolt wasn't sure how he had gotten himself into this mess, so he just gave the boy a baffled raise of his eyebrow. He was about to say something to him, until the lady cut him off sharply. "Listen! I don't have time for this! I want my toaster fixed YESTERDAY! It doesn't even TOAST! It barely warms my bread to room temperature! I have to wait an hour for warm bread!" she complained to him, completely ignoring the employee that was supposed to help her. The man groaned in annoyance, not wanting to deal with this when he was meer hours away from his childish DOOM! "Ma'am. I truly and genuinely do not care about your-" before he could explain how much her technical issue didn't matter to him, she snapped at him once more. "Why are you here anyways?! I asked for a MA-NA-GER! Not some whacky, dirty, off-his-rockers criminal! I want to speak with the manager right now so he can call the police to arrest that villain and so HE can be fired!" she started demanding to whichever one of them that would oblige her, practically frothing at the mouth as she was also hitting the counter.

Alright. That's it. He was ticked. This was now personal.

"... How about we just fix that toaster right up for you instead. And let me do it for free, since you asked sooooo nicely!" Megavolt said through gritted teeth, sounding very condescending to her while he was grabbing her toaster and taking it to a table that was already full of stuff, like paperwork and small tech parts. Shoving it all off the table, he slammed the toaster down and started disassembling it right away, grabbing a few parts around him to add into this household appliance. The woman gave a smug smile at the villain, who was now doing as she had demanded, meanwhile the employee looked on in surprise and awe as he was skillfully fixing this thing like it was nothing. After a few moments of tinkering, the toaster was reassembled once again and Megavolt walked over to the service counter, placing it down in front of the self-satisfied customer. "Now, let's test it out, shall we?" he suggested with a smarmy grin as he pulled out a piece of toast he had, for totally logical reasons, and put it into the toaster. Only a few seconds after the rat had started it, smoke started to seep out of the two openings on the top. And only a moment after that, flames erupted in two ginormous streams of fire. This made the woman start to scream and hurriedly scurry away out of the store. "I hope you like your bread like your coffee! HAHAHA!" Megavolt laughed and held his stomach as the fire started to calm down a bit, letting two burnt pieces of toast pop up with a delightful PING.

"Whoa… that was awesome!" the nerdy girl from before shouted out astonished as she watched the customer bump into people on her way out of the shopping center. "Yeah, dude! She's been bothering us with complaints and threats to fire us all for months! Thanks for getting rid of her!" the dopey boy said as he grabbed a hold of the villain's hand and shook it harshly, making him get red in the face and chuckle from the flattery. "Well… it is what we criminals do best!" he admitted and rubbed his neck. The girl walked over to the two and joined in in the hand shaking, crossing his arms over each other. "If there is anything we can do to thank you, you just let us know!" she offered him. This made him light up a bit, realizing that this might work perfectly in his favor. "Actually… I am looking for something rather hard to come by. If you happen to have a CPU disruptor anywhere in the store, I would be more than happy to take it off your hands!". "Well… we do have some more high-tech stuff in the back, but we aren't supposed to sell that stuff" the teen said as he looked back towards the backdoor, considering if it would be a good idea or not. "Well you're not selling it if you just give it to me for the favor, now are you?" Megavolt tried to explain to the employees, giving them a "Hmm?" and wiggle of his eyebrows. The two looked at each other, thought about it for a moment, then said in unison "That makes sense!" as they both then raced to the backdoor to get his present. Maybe this christmas wouldn't turn out so horrible after all!

Man. The pet store really wasn't anything to write home about. Liquidator couldn't believe how boring and unappealing it was. More like appalling. It was a wonder they even sold a simple little goldfish with such an unmarketable image. He almost felt like turning right around and head straight out to accept his doom. But he decided against it and just sucked it up, heading inside and looking around at the animals. The dog decided that he didn't have time to wander around aimlessly and try to find a fish that would be dangerous enough, so he headed up to the cash register to find someone who could help him. "Excuse me, ma'am! I require your assistance to find a most exotic, threatening pet that I could adopt!" he spoke up in his usual, classy salesman tone, trying to get the attention of the bored looking lady by the register. "Yeah, Yeah. Sure. Brittney can take care of you. BRITTNEY! A CUSTOMER NEEDS HELP!" she yelled towards the backdoor, prompting a pretty, tall lady to walk out and say "Ok. I'm on it" in a valley girl accent while chewing some gum.

"... Now I see the selling point" liquidator muttered under his nonexistent breath, scanning the employee as she walked over to him and greeted him. "Hiya. So what kind of pet are you looking for, sir?. "Well I'm glad you asked! Because what I am looking for is none other than a predator of the aquatiq variety!" he told the pet shop worker as he moved over to her, extending his body to be on her left, as well as her right. But she didn't seem to care at all, blowing a bubble with her gum as she just said "yeah, sure" and started leading him towards the aquarium section. As she was walking along with him, another customer walked up beside them and tapped her on the shoulder. "Excuse me! But I was wondering about this hamster. I already own a male hamster, will it be ok to have another in the same cage?" the young man asked as he pointed towards a couple of hamster cages. She just looked over at him confused, chewing her gum and grumbling a nonchalant "uuuh… I don't know" before turning to walk away again. She just left Liquidator stunned as he watched her walk away, not giving a single care about the customer. Like, yeah, he didn't care about his customers when he sold water, but you need to at least pretend to care or have a captivating and appealing attitude so you can make more sales. Groaning, he decided to pick up the ball she had just dropped. "Hello sir! Sorry about the laziness of the staff! But let me tell you that no! It is not a good idea to put two male hamsters in the same cage. BUT! It is very rewarding to take care of more than one hamster, as it is stated by professionals that it helps with restlessness! So I'd suggest you buy a second cage for the hamster you want! There are a few high quality ones over there across from the hamsters!" he informed the surprised man, who seemed to be eating up everything he was told, just nodding and saying "Oh! Ok!" before walking off. "Remember! The more it costs, the better it is!" he added on before leaving to find the useless employee again.

As Liquidator found the clueless girl again, she had once again been stopped by another customer, a little girl who had a puppy following close after her. "Excuse me miss. I don't know what food I should give Jasper. What do you think I should buy?" she asked in a sugary sweet voice, making the lady just glance down at her and blow another bubble with her gum. "I dunno. Dog food?" she just huffed before continuing to leave another customer behind. Facepalming himself, Liquidator quickly moves over and taps the girl on her shoulder. "Hi there, little lady! Ignore that big unhelpful lady! She doesn't know anything! If you are looking for good dog food, you should buy the ones with the big "approved" seal on it! If it has that, it means it will be good for him!" the villain said in an overly friendly way as he pointed towards the pet food section. The little girl smiled brightly and started pulling at her dog's leash, running off to find that good quality food.

This kept happening as he was attempting to keep up with the employee, person wants help buying stuff, lady blows them off, Liquidator has to take over and use his sales pitches to make a good sale.

"What is the best toy for my cat?"

"It will love the bell and feather on a string! The stick is made to not snap!"

"Are these vitamins good for my dog?"

"That's a no go! Four out of five specialists would suggest these higher quality vitamins with loads more vitamins in it for your pet!"

"My bird won't stop freaking out!"

"Yikes! Sounds like it is time to expand her cage! Trust me, bigger cage means less panic from your bird!"

After a few more quick sales, the man was tilting against a few aquariums and panting lightly, feeling exhausted from all the talking and pitching. It was amazing that this place was not burned to the ground by the sheer laziness of the staff. He was probably the only help anyone had ever gotten at this crappy store. The employee finally stopped in front of a tank of fish, motioning towards the clownfish swimming inside. This made Liquidator fall silent and just stare at her with a blank gaze. "... So how many fishes did you want?" she asked in a totally clueless voice, just staring back at him. "THIS ISN'T A PREDATOR!!!" he yelled in her face and started boiling from the immeasurable amount of rage this brought him. The employee just looked at him, asking "what's a predator?" cluelessly. The two just stared for a quiet second before the lady just takes out a ring of keys and throws them into Liquidators body. "Here. I gotta leave early today, so please lock up for me" she said dismissively as she just walked towards the front of the store to leave.

He just looked at her shocked as she, just like every other customer, left him alone and confused. Did she really mistake him for someone who worked there because he did her work better than her?

…

Well at least he didn't have to pay for what he needed anymore.

After a few hours in the mall, the four villains were walking home together, with the jester laughing giddily after his little bit of complete chaos. "Hoohoohehehee! I haven't had this much fun in a while! This is the best christmas yet!" he cheered as he was bouncin in front the trio that were carrying their wrapped presents. He then moved to put an arm around Megavolt, who gave him a nervous grin and moved the bag with the gift box in to carry it with one hand. The air around them, despite the expectation of impending doom, was actually rather cheerful. It was mostly due to the unrestrained joy of Quackerjack, who was just radiating christmas cheer with his excited laughter and singing. "Really? Christmas carols? I thought you were above that?" the rat poked at him with his elbow, snickering as he teased the one walking beside him. "Eh, shut up, Sparky! Can't a man feel the christmas spirit for one?" he snapped back while trying to hold back a happy giggle, wanting to appear somewhat tough. Liquidator and Bushroot looked at each other and gave an amused smile.

And soon enough, they arrive at the hideout. They all strolled inside and placed down their gift boxes under a christmas tree disguise that they had for the heist that was planned for the evening after. It was close enough to a regular tree, so why not? This made the colorful duck jump around even more and squeal excitedly. He was tapping his feet restlessly as he looked over towards his own gifts, wanting so bad to give them to his friends already. This did not go unnoticed, as Bushroot watched his eyes stare longingly in the direction of his own christmas gifts, feeling that nervousness return as he remembered why they even got the "gifts" to begin with. Looking over at the other two, they both took notice of his questioning look and gave a nod, indicating that they were ready for the chaos. "Hey… Quacks. Didn't you have something for us?" he asked with a forced grin, trying his best to not ruin the jester's joy.

Quackerjack gasped in excitement, not even answering the plant before he rushed off towards the work table to grab the gifts. Bushroot moved over to the others and they all formed a huddle. "Alright! Get ready for the onslaught! Keep close to the tree and hold the box at a distance!" Liquidator whispered to his fellow villains, earning a determined nod from them both. "Alright! Get ready!" the cheery voice of their four team member yelle, causing the huddle to break and the three of them stand innocently beside each other.

Quackerjack walked over, presenting the biggest present first. Everyone prayed that they wouldn't be the one to recieve the gift. "Bushroot! This one is for you!". Curses. That's just his luck. But still, the plant duck took a deep breath and accepted the rather heavy box, getting even more scared when holding the potential "pandora's box" in his hands. Swallowing harshly, he reached out and pulled the ribbon off, causing the other two to immediately hide behind whatever was the closest. He recoiled back away from the box, expecting to be jumped as soon as that lid was lifted.

But… nothing happened. That almost shocked him more than anything. So he curiously peeked inside and saw… a bag… a bag of fertilizer. It felt almost disappointing to get something so dull, instead of immeadiate death. But lifting the bag out of the box, he got a better look at it and realized something. "Wait a second! This is-!". "That's right! I got this fertilizer from a lab with some real knuckleheads for scientists working there! It's not even released to the public yet! And now it never will be! It's all yours!" the jester explained as he was hovering really close the the stunned man.

The fertilizer… it was HIS fertilizer! His project that he thought was lost after… the incident that made him into his mutant self. "Wow… wait, knucklehead scientists?" he then questioned, recognizing the description as his old labmates. "Oh yeah! Those two! I took care of them, don't worry! They seemed to really like throwing that football around! So I thought it'd be fun to try and be the ball for a change!" Quackerjack laughed amused as he seemed rather proud of himself. Bushroot just stared at him, tears starting to well up in his eyes before he hugged tightly onto the fertilizer and started wailing like a baby. "WAAAAAAH! THANK YOU! THIS IS THE BEST CHRISTMAS I'VE EVER HAAAAAAD!!!" he cried out and sat down on the floor with his precious bag.

Quackerjack looked shocked for a short moment before looking genuinely happy about the over emotional reaction he got. "Heeheehee… glad you like it" he muttered before grabbing the next box and walking over to Megavolt, who had come out of hiding and was just staring in baffled surprise. His gawking was interrupted as there was a rather small gift box shoved into his face. Accepting it without a word, he just looked back at Liquidator unsure, as if asking if it was safe. He just gave the rat a shrug and looked equally puzzled.

Megavolt just sighed and decided to go for it, ripping off the ribbon and opening the box. Inside was a USB stick, a normal old USB stick. He picked it up and held it up to the duck. "Ok… I'll bite. What is this?". Quackerjack looked rather smug as he leaned into his face and explained "Well, Sparky. This USB contains countless of blueprints from an inventor, who works for none other than S.H.U.S.H. You don't realize how surprisingly easy it was to get! I bet she doesn't even realize it's gone!". The rat's eyes widened as he heard that. A USB… with S.H.U.S.H level blueprints?! There had got to be some really advanced stuff in that tiny little stick! All the knowledge he could ever desire! He even forgot to yell at the duck for calling him Sparky.

All he could do was sputter random sounds while trying to find any sort of words to say. Megavolt ended up just pulling Quackerjack into a hug and spinning around in a moment of bliss, rambling "ohmygodthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!". The duck gained a bright blush to his cheeks as he was held in the air by his friend, just allowing it to happen as this was just the type of reaction he had hoped for. Didn't expect it at all, but he had hoped. "Oh geez! Sparky! Be cool, pal! You're embarrassing me!" he laughed in a flustered manner, trying to hide how much he's enjoying the appreciation and failing immensely.

He managed to get loose after a minute or so and took the last, tiny present and started making his way over to Liquidator. The dog looked very sceptical, as suppose to the previous expression of fear. "So… seems you really made a great sale to those two, huh?" he commented to the clown, who didn't say anything back and just wiggled his eyebrows at him. "... Well they are nerds, they get all excited over their… nerdy interests. But I'm a customer that isn't easily impressed. So don't expect any hugs or tears" he then said in a defensive tone and crossed his arms. Quackerjack only grinned wider and held out the present to him, inching it closer and closer to his face while letting out a quiet squeak.

The water man just sighed and snatched the gift out of his hands, starting to unwrap it so he could just get it over with. And inside was just a piece of paper. That was it. His face dropped and he looked up at the duck. But he just kept grinning and darted his eyes between Liquidator and the paper. Rolling his eyes, Liquidator just picked it up and read over it. As he did, he realized it was a receipt from the local grocery store. "St. Canard convenience store. Wow! You really went above and beyond. Look at all that Sparkling Crystal Pure Flud Water you purcha- w… WAIT WHAT?!" he had to do a double take as he read over the receipt, not sure he read that right. But it was right there, in black and white, over $10 000 worth of his own brand of water.

"I know you better than you think" Quackerjack giggled smugly as he bounced over towards the leaking fridge and threw it open, revealing it to be filled to the brim with water bottles. Liquidator just stared in awe and with his jaw laying in the floor. Quacks picked it back up as he put an arm around his shoulder. "I know that you do love a good sale. But what do you like better? MAKING a good sale, of course! So what better christmas present for THE liquidator than to steal money from the bank and buy every last one of your water with it? That way, the ENTIRE CITY OF ST. CANARD has bought your stuff!" he informed the shocked man that he was hanging on while staring at his face, awaiting to see a reaction from him.

He just stared at all of his bottled water, processing everything his teammate just told him. That was probably the only thing he could have ever wished for, success for his company. A singular tear fell from his eye, though it could have just been more water, and gave away a small, happy smile. "Wow… thank you, man" he just muttered.

Quackerjack let out a happy laugh as he started jumping around his friends with so much excitement. "Ho ho ho ha haa! I knew it! I knew you'd like my presents! Now, let's check what's inside yours!" he cheered curiously as he then pranced over to the other's presents under the fake tree. "Wait" Liquidator muttered surprised. "Our… presents?!" Megavolt gulped and started sweating, realizing what a mistake they had made with their assumption. "W-WAIT! Quacks! Don't open them!" Bushroot yelled as he started running over towards the duck to stop him. But it was too late as they got to watch him suddenly get shot with a laser that sent a current of electricity through his body. They then got to witness him being attacked by a dozen piranha before he was grabbed by the big pitcher plant that tried to eat him whole.

The three, after watching this while grimacing and cringing, then proceeded to run over and save him from any further pain. It took a few minutes, but they got him free from the fish and plant, sitting him down on the floor with a blanket and a cup of hot chocolate. "...Not to be rude, since I got such a nice present earlier today, but you guys aren't the best gift givers, are ya?" Quacks asked the others with an awkward grin, trying to not ruin the happy mood he had achieved earlier. But they just gave him an embarrassed look and rubbed their necks, feeling equally as awkward as him. "Listen… We're sorry about all that. We didn't mean to cause you so much pain" Bushroot explained as he sat down beside him and put a hand on his shoulder. "We didn't expect your presents to be… actually really really nice. We thought you'd get us one of your demented toys that would try to kill us!" Megavolt told him as he also plonked himself down on the floor on his other side, rolling his fingers nervously. Liquidator didn't say anything, he just sat himself down and looked at him somewhat apologetically.

"Waitwaitwait! Are you telling me that you expected me to basically prank you by giving you deadly toys that would rip you to shreds?" the clown asked in surprise as he looked between all of the Fearsome Four with a confused expression on his face. The three just looked away from him and tried to find some sort of justification. But they just felt kinda bad about how they had been acting during the day when the gifts they were given ended up being really good and considerate. What justification could they have that didn't ruin the mood further?

As the jester kept darting his eyes between everyone, his eyes started to water and he began sniffing softly. Bushroot took notice and quickly tried to console him. "H-hey now! W-w-we didn't mean anything by-". Before he could finish his sentence, Quackerjack stretched his arms out and embraced all of his team with a tearful sob. "YOU GUYS! IT'S SO SWEET OF YOU TO THINK I COULD SOMETHING SO CRULE AND EVIL ON CHRIIIIIIIISTMAAAAAAS!!!" he wailed while crushing the three grown men in his colorful arms.

They all looked down at him pained as their chests were caving in from the force of the love they were given. But they smiled anyways and chuckled at the silly duck. "Geez, Quackers! I never thought any of us would ever have an actually good christmas, let alone us having one together! But you did it! You gave us a truly merry christmas!" Megavolt sighed happily and reached a hand out to rub the crying man's jangling head. It made him giggle through his tears and let go of them all, just grinning thankfully at the lot.

"GET THESE LITTLE MONSTERS AWAY FROM ME!!!" Negaduck yelled as he ran past his team, being pursued by a group of rather scary looking toys as he's chased out of the hide out. Quackerjack just looked confused as they disappeared out the door. "Weird… I thought he'd love a bit of violence!" he said, seemingly surprised by the turn of events. The other guys just looked at each other quietly for a second, before bursting out in laughter at the brief scene. That years christmas turned from wonderful to fantastic.

#darkwing duck #dwd #The Fearsome Five #the fearsome four #quackerjack #Megavolt #bushroot #liquidator #negaduck #fanfiction #fanfic

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its-chelisey-stuff · 5 years

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Itaewon Class: When stories are so much more about than romance but my romantic ass ends up going back to it... always

I don’t post often about this show (in reality I don’t post as much as I used to because work gets in the way of all things I enjoy, sucking all my damn time... I curse you, work!!) but I love it. I really really do. I cannot call it my favorite show of the year (cause it’s only march lol) but I think it may be my favorite from the first quarter of 2020! And I mean, it was not even because of the romance (at the beggining). Itaewon class has such a rich story, with wonderful layered characters who have such dinstinctive voices and the revenge plot just drove me bananas (in the good way) cause damn YES! Why is it that the good and amazing parents have to die in dramaland? Why did it have to be him? And why did he ever do to anyone to deserve going out in such a dreadful and terrible way? WHY WHY WHY WHY??!! By all freaking means in all of the goddamn freaking awful dramaland, take REVENGE Saeroyi! TAKE IT!

But oh, boy. I’m a sucker for romance and people who follow my blog know it. God, the heavens know it. Everyone knows it. So when the romance started to build up and sides started to form, I knew very well which side (besides Saeroyi+happiness) I was on. And I mean, Yiseo took something from me from the very beggining of ep 3 and she never gave it back. LMAO.

However, I wanted to sit back and enjoy this show without analyzing every single thing anyone (good or bad) made. But the drama is ending next week and I after this week’s episodes, I just had the inspiration and need to write my thoughts (however controversial... because I’m sure not everyone will agree with me).

Full disclosure: First and second episode? I shipped Soo-ah and Saeroyi... after that though? Yiseo stole my heart and I rooted for her with all of my fangirl heart. Ever since, I never wavered from her side once. And last week when Saeroyi told her not to like him? My heart broke for her. My poor baby!! And you know, Saeroyi is free, like anyone, to accept or not romantic feelings from whoever, whenever, wherever! I will NEVER judge that! Never.

But... I will judge, with all that I am and I believe and stand for, his feelings for Soo-ah. Because, dude, what the actual freaking f*ck? What has she ever done for you? How has she shown in ANY WAY that she cares for you? The only time I saw her actually being by his side, was when his dad died and I mean, a big part of that was because she saw ahjussi as dad figure. She was grieving him too. But then she took that tuition money and later a job from Jangga and man...

I know you had nothing, no actual adult on your side, and no money for your future, but you kept working for those people for years to come. All while Saeroyi was in jail and later worked his ass off, every single day, for years so he could achieve his own dreams and his well deserved revenge and she still needed him (the poor guy who had a wonderful dad and lost him and with that everything) to reassure her, pat her on the back and say “hey, it’s ok, I’ll be fine. You just do whatever you need to do to survive. I’ll do that, too, no hard feelings”. Pisses me off so damn much.

We accept the love we think we deserve. But Park Saeroyi deserves a lot more than what self entitled, self centered and selfish Soo-ah ever gave him. And that’s the tea.

Yi-seo was right on ep 13:

Soo-ah basically told him: I won’t date you if you’re not rich. You said you will leave me jobless? Okay. I’ll sit here prettily, and wait for you to do all the hard stuff. While I, even if having a bit of power to help you, will not lift a finger to do so and will, not even once, tell you I like you back. You know for emotional support or something.

While Yi-seo said:

I’ll help you achieve your dream. You want to be rich? Fine. I’ll make you rich. You want to take revenge on Jangga Group? Okay. I’ll destroy them for you. You want to franchise Danbam? Okay, I will help you look for deals, inversionists, associates, etc. By the way, I love you. I love you. I love you. I’m in love with you.

Not to mention she recorded a confession from his father’s killer while putting herself in danger and actually taking a couple of hits from said criminal. Soo-ah, could have done that far more easily, had she wanted; all she needed was a flirty fake smile and couple of sweet words. She had years and the means. She just wasn’t up for it. Like our ahjussi villain said on ep. 14, she was tamed after years of working for them. After being fed by the hand of the corrupt power. And she liked it. She might LIKE Saeroyi, but she does not LOVE him.

Soo-ah only loves one person. Herself. And hey, that’s fine. That’s totally okay. Love yourself. See for yourself. Provide for yourself. But don’t ever, EVER, try to make another person do that too for YOU without giving anything back. Love is about giving and it goes both ways, not just one.

Of course, on the other side, we have Yiseo who has pursued an specific purpose for more than half the drama: to make her boss fall in love with her, to make him love her back. Yes. The motivation is kind of corrupted. But all she did, she did out of love. And that time he told Saeroyi that Soo-ah was not the one who called the cops on him showed me that she wanted to win him with honesty and not with all the dirty tricks that we, as drama fans, are familiar with. She took the high route. She went for the long run and I commend her for it. She wanted Saeroyi to SEE HER. Not to take the place that Soo-ah had. She wanted her own, big and primary, spot. And I’m just so happy that she finally got it. And I think she’s had it for years, actually.

The thing that doesn’t make me as happy is that Saeroyi realizes he is in love with her and all hell of clichés breaks loose and bam! we have the “I better tell you what I feel for you but FIRST let me tell the second lead that he is not getting you, I am” moment; a freaking kidnapping; a “come alone or else” threat and the freaking truck (in this case car) of doom.

Saeroyi, you can’t die.

He just can’t. This is not the way. He will not go out in the same, awful injust way his dad did. He still has so much to live for. He has spent 15 years dedicated to his revenge but also, has built a family that loves him and cares for him. I don’t know if he will take out of the map Jangga Group before the old man dies, but damn, he has to fully see there’s a lot more to life, HIS life, than revenge. He has to have what he has always wanted and needed, what started this ill fated relationship with Jangga in the beggining: his freedom.

My perfect ending for him would be IC live and prosper on the market, even if it’s not the first place. And Saeroyi finally able to sleep and rest well, forgetting once and for all those terrible people that harmed him greatly and realizing that he lost his father and that will always hurt, but he now has another family. Who loves him and will stand with him no matter what. And he has Yiseo, a person he has called the best luck of his life. Who he is in love with and still needs the chance to tell her how he feels. There’s just so much more left for him. So much good that outweighs the bad by so, so much.

And I want to see him tasting the sweetness of the soju, the way he hasn’t been able to for half of his life. He deserves that.

#itaewon class #park seo joon #kim da mi #kwon nara #park saeroyi #opinion #kdrama

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itsthejuggernautbitch · 5 years

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cut + burn, chapter 1

Pairing: Colossus/reader - Playlist

Summary: Wade decides that sixteen years of mutual pining is long enough. He's appointed himself your new wingman, and he's the best in town (or so he likes to think). Or, how the compound effort of Wade Wilson and total romantic frustration gave way to getting exactly what you've been waiting for.

Chapter 1: Suzanne

Part 2

Author’s Note: This is part one of a 5-part series. I’d like to tell you that this is something other than the introduction to a ton of smut, but that’s exactly what this is. Chapter title is Suzanne by Leonard Cohen.

Taglist: @marvel-is-perfection @emma-frxst @this-that-and-every-thing-else @ptite-shit @lesbianyondu @chromecutie @ra-ra-rasputiin @hazilyimagine @lenavonschweetz @nu-tt @rovvboat @i-write-fanfic-not-essays

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You stepped off of the X-Jet onto the manicured green lawn of the X-Mansion and breathed deeply, struck by sweet relief and a feeling of inner peace that only comes from stretching your legs after being squeezed into a cubicle for eighteen hours. The mansion was just far enough away from the city that the fumes and funk from the crowded streets didn’t quite reach the immaculate stonework. Even better, there was no smoke, no fumes, no filtered air from the X-Jet vents - just clean, cold October air that smelled faintly of cut grass and sunshine. For that, you were exceptionally grateful.

Mostly because you were tired of smelling everyone else’s stank on the cramped X-Jet, but, you know, small favors.

As you stepped off of the ramp and onto the impeccable grass, it finally hit you that today was your Retirement Day, all caps, fanfare trumpeting in the background. Sixteen years of jetting around the globe and cleaning up everyone else's shit had led to this final, glorious day. In your line of work, sixteen years without a full-on mental breakdown was a major win.

As reigning HBIC of Professor Xavier's cleanup crew, you’d seen a lot of messes over the years that would have left anyone feeling hollow inside - kind of like your guts had been scooped out and dumped on the ground. The scenes were always ugly. You were the one running off to go coordinate transports of rogue mutants to holding facilities or clean up the bodies left behind from a particularly ugly villainous rampage. Those were your everyday, small-scale chores. The large-scale mass tragedies were the catalyst that really forced your retirement.

Your duties weren’t limited to your obligations to the X-Men - you cleaned up behind everyone. You’d dealt with the fallout from everything the Avengers had ever touched: you'd disposed of the alien corpses after the battle in New York, scoured Sokovia for salvageable lives, cleaned up after Thanos. You'd cleaned up behind all of Dr. Doom’s rampages and Magneto’s tantrums. Everywhere you'd been sent was overrun by the kind of wreckage that left an everlasting mark on your brain. And these mass impacts had only been occurring more and more often lately.

The aftermath of your Last Hurrah as a trademarked Active Duty Hero was bittersweet. There would be a fun party that night with everyone who wasn’t on some covert mission in attendance. Your team had come home with you, and your friends were waiting. They'd make you a cake and pour you a beer and maybe, just maybe, coerce you out into the city for a night of fun. There would be streamers with “Happy Retirement!” written on them, obviously meant for someone much older than yourself. Everyone would congratulate you for sixteen years of impeccable conduct and efficacy.

And tomorrow you would wave your team off on their next task - a task they would complete without you. You’d already chosen your replacement, a new graduate with the power to microwave the air around whatever she targeted. The girl had only been part of your team for a year, but she had great leadership skills and showed real promise. You had confidence in her for sure, but confidence in her abilities wasn't enough to help you sleep at night.

You'd come to find out that passing the torch was much harder than you’d been led to believe. While you had no reason to be unsure of your choice, you had a major problem with relinquishing control. Seriously, it had taken sixteen years for you to decide that enough was enough and you were tired of cleaning up every nasty scene imaginable. You weren't the kind of person who just let shit go.

Nevertheless, you'd finished your last active mission and made it home safely, no worse for wear and no more traumatized than before you left. You'd have to figure out how to handle it on your own time.

The welcoming committee stood off to the side of the small airfield. There were friends and mentors crowding the field, Professor X and the like. Some people you were only acquainted with, like Wade and his buddies. And while you enjoyed seeing each and every one of them, you were only looking for one person in particular - and he wasn’t difficult to find.

Colossus stood head and shoulders above the crowd, the tallest of the tall. He'd taken time away from his duties that day to welcome you home. Not that you expected any less - you’d been friends since you arrived at the mansion twenty years ago. He’d already “retired” from active duty himself, nearly six years earlier than you, if you remembered correctly. Said he liked teaching more than beating the shit out of people. Since he was going to be the one teaching you how to be a teacher, you were going to see firsthand if that was actually true.

Your team disembarked from the jet in a steady wave of mutants. They were the weirdest of the weird - graduates whose powers weren't optimal choices for task teams or active combat but were still “active” abilities. At its heart, your team was a squadron of people who could decimate wreckage or do something weird enough to make disposing of ickiness a little easier. You, as the leader of this squadron of weirdos, must have had the weirdest skill-set of all.

Your former team (that would take some getting used to) mingled in with the group on the airfield, hugging and high-fiving, yelling greetings and (playfully) rude comments. You stopped to greet Professor X, but that was where the fanfare for you ended. You systematically squeezed past everyone separating you from Colossus and, upon reaching him, grabbed him in a tight hug, much to his embarrassment. (He wasn’t great with public displays of affection - never had been.)

Behind them, Wade howled like a hyena.

You stepped away from Colossus, staring sheepishly at the ground, at the same time he stepped away from you. He stared at his feet, which meant that he was still pretty much staring down at you since he was a good foot and a half taller than you. You’d meant to embarrass him on purpose, not really taking into account that your face would probably turn red, too.

Colossus gave you a short once-over, almost too quickly to notice. You smoothed out the creases in your suit, feeling quite self-conscious. You hadn't thought about how you must look returning from a mission before you'd stepped off the jet - probably disheveled, a little ruffled, like you needed a good week of sleep and a hot shower. He, on the other hand, was impeccably clean in his uniform, gleaming chrome in the late morning sun and rippling with muscle. You could have drooled just looking at the line of his forearms, but he was simply too shiny to get a good look at.

He straightened up and stood up a little taller, trying to maintain a look of composure. “Welcome home!”

You tried to mirror his composure and found it to be too troublesome. You were tired and there were too many people crowding around. Wouldn't this be so much better if it were just Colossus welcoming you home instead of this unending crowd of people?

You knew it sounded forced, but you said it anyway. “I’m glad to be home for good this time!”

Colossus raised a glinting silver eyebrow. “Are you really?”

Sometimes he knew you a little too well. You couldn't truthfully tell him that you were ready to come home - just that it was time to come home. Really home - not living in a constant state of perpetually ready to leave at a moment’s notice, not waking up with the sounds of explosions or falling wreckage, not squished into a tiny box on the X-Jet or sleeping on a cot in a safehouse somewhere. You knew where your three square meals were coming from, where you would be sleeping at night when you had to wake up in the morning. You had weekends off now. Getting used to it was just going to take time.

Colossus sensed your apprehension but didn’t comment, though you could practically hear him thinking we'll talk about this later. You forced a grin. “It’s time to come home.”

“If you’re sure…” he replied, still incredulous. Yeah, he was going to make you talk about your feelings.

“I’m sure.”

He was obviously unsatisfied with your answer. “In any case, I’m glad you’re home."

Desperate to talk about anything else other than being home, you changed the subject. "Are we still meeting later?"

He'd mentioned in a mission brief that he wanted to meet to talk about your first day of teacher training. You suspected that it was more so a cover-up for his responsible adult questions about your mental health so that he could assess you before your retirement party. You appreciated that Colossus cared and made you talk about things, of course, but it didn’t change the fact that feelings were hard to talk about. Especially with him - it always seemed to be harder to show vulnerability with someone who truly cared.

He brightened. "Yes! After you settle in, of course."

"How about you come to get me after I take a nap?" you laughed. "You haven't given my room away, have you?"

"Your room is exactly as you left it," Colossus replied, just a little quieter than usual. He shifted and seemed just on the verge of saying something else, but instead, he said, "I'm sure you would rather get to bed than stay out here. Come!"

Colossus ushered you towards the mansion where everyone seemed to finally be meandering. You knew you couldn’t leave to go to your room just yet - still too many people to greet. You'd do absolutely anything to get in the shower and take a nap. Your shower sang a promise of warmth, and your bed called to you louder than any siren song, the promise of rest and safety like a hymn drifting down from your third-floor room. Maybe you could just fuck off and no one would notice...

As you stepped past the threshold of the mansion, you felt Colossus' hand on your shoulder. He leaned down close to your ear, and you fought back a shiver.

"Go. I will make an excuse for you," he said, nudging you gently towards the stairs.

You clapped your hands over your heart. "My hero."

You would swear on your life that he smiled his soft smile at that, but you'd already leapt onto the first stair and run out of sight.

Colossus was right - your room was exactly as you left it. Pillows arranged in a simple pattern at the head of the bed, navy blue comforter clean and unwrinkled. A desk was shoved into one corner, old and creaky but well-loved. An equally ancient dresser situated up against the wall, the dark wood cracking and hardware knobs oxidizing. You'd left a spare uniform on a chair next to the dresser and a stack of blankets neatly folded at the foot of your bed. Your bathroom door was wide-open, calling to you like a prayer.

You stripped down and turned on the water to let it heat up. You showered longer than you ever had, letting the scalding water beat down on your head and rinse shampoo suds out of your hair. When you were acceptably clean and shriveled up like a prune, you finally got out. The water had started to run cold anyway. You wrapped up in a towel, laid down on your bed, and before you knew it, you were out cold.

----- ----- -----

You awoke an hour later to a knock at your door. Your hair was still wrapped up in a towel as you searched for a bathrobe (you could have sworn you left that on the chair instead of your uniform). You could pretty much guess who was at the door, so the desire to stay mostly undressed was pretty intense. Nevertheless, you covered up so that you could at least appear to be a presentable excuse for a human being.

You opened the door to find - who else - Colossus. He made a pointed effort not to stare down at you in your robe and wet hair. Not that you minded if he did. You'd have answered the door naked if you weren't afraid he'd run away.

"Sorry - just woke up."

He shifted, looking a mite uncomfortable. “I will be down in the kitchen whenever you are ready.”

You nodded, inching the door closed. “I’ll get dressed and be right down.”

Colossus started making his way down the hall. He called back over his shoulder, “I will make tea.”

“Coffee for me, please!” you called after his retreating back. You peeked out after him and watched him walk away. Man, his ass looked great in those pants.

“It will be decaf!”

“I want real coffee, Piotr!”

He might have replied to you, but you'd closed the door already. You grabbed the closest clean pair of pants and shirt that you could find. The clothes you grabbed may have been workout clothes, but after weeks and weeks of wearing your uniform, anything else was better than your uniform. And you’d make an attempt to look nice for the party tonight since everyone would be there - one person in particular, of course.

Speaking of that particular person, you scurried out of your room to join him down in the kitchen, locking your door behind you.

As you walked through the halls, you passed by the residents of the mansion milling around the dorm halls. Some you knew, but most were foreign to you. Your friends were either off on missions or had left the mansion a long time ago. Some were dead, memorialized on the walls. The few who had chosen to stay at the mansion were teachers now or stationed at a base far, far away.

The kitchen was on the first floor, just off to the side of the main hall. It had been remodeled, you remarked offhandedly as you sat down at the table. Colossus hunched over the new stove, fussing over the teakettle and a pair of mugs. The coffee pot next to him hummed and dripped black gold into the pot. Next to the coffee pot, the bag of coffee (not decaf!) was still open.

Colossus grabbed the mugs and sat down in front of you; his chair squeaked in despair but held steady. He passed your mug off to you. “I found some regular coffee you left last time you were home.”

“And here I remember you scolding me for drinking coffee so late in the afternoon,” you teased. You took a healthy sip from the scalding mug - thankfully, hot temperatures didn’t bother you (thanks, mutation). "Why the sudden change of heart?"

“I suspect that the party tonight will last much longer than anticipated,” Colossus replied, smirking. He blew on his mug of tea and took a ginger sip, grimacing. Unlike you, scalding temperatures sucked for him. “Your team makes a habit of partying until dawn.”

“Hey, we clean up dead bodies,” you said. You’d downed almost half the mug already and decided it was probably better to sip for the rest of the meeting. “Work hard, play hard.”

"They learned it from you," Colossus hummed. He sat his mug down. As suspected, he had an ~adult conversation~ planned. “You do not seem excited to be home.”

“Oh, no, I’m happy to be home,” you insisted. Your fingernails were suddenly more interesting than anything else in the room, particularly the man looking at you like a stray puppy. “It’s just hard to let go.”

“Adjusting to a less stressful situation is not easy, but you will have teaching to occupy your time and that’s certainly stressful,” Colossus agreed. His hand twitched as if he meant to stop you from peeling off your cuticles until your fingers bled, but he kept his hands on his tea mug. “And you have me - I have been through this already. Everyone in the mansion is your family, and we are all here for you.”

“I’ll adjust,” you replied shortly.

“And you know if you need to talk about it…”

“You know you’re the first person I’ll run to,” you said softly, cutting him off. You sat up straighter in your chair and took another sip of coffee. “Enough with the counseling session, today is supposed to be a happy day! Let’s talk about teaching!”

Colossus eyed you thoughtfully but conceded. “We will go over the lesson plans in detail later. You will start by teaching the middle-grades age group beginning next week. I want you to teach the little ones, but they are a bit rowdy and I don’t want to scare you away from teaching on your first day.”

“I can handle whatever you throw at me.”

“You will also be assigned a trainee,” Colossus continued. “I have not finalized who will be assigned to you, but I have a solid idea.”

“Anyone I know?”

"I do not think so," he hummed. “She arrived while you were gone last time. She has similar abilities and a similar temperament. It is likely she will be assigned to cleanup upon graduation.”

“So, I’ll be training my replacement?” you asked, eyebrows raised.

Colossus looked away, sheepish. “It was not intentional, but yes.”

“I’ll take your word for it.”

You pushed your mug away after draining the last bit of coffee. Colossus always kept a bag for you in the pantry, but you were pretty sure he didn’t know you knew. You knew you hadn’t left a bag of your regular brew behind - a bag of coffee grounds was one of the first things that went into your luggage. Hell, you’d started bringing your own coffee pot onto the X-Jet because your team would throw hands over the coffee pot.

“I will come and check on you periodically,” Colossus said. “But I expect that you will be fine. Do you have any questions?”

You’d have questions when you actually started teaching, but you didn’t at that moment. Really, you just wanted to sit at the table and talk to him. Not about your feelings or teaching - just talking.

“No questions,” you replied. “Not about teaching, at least. You are coming to the party tonight, right?”

“I would not miss it!” Colossus said. He sat back in his chair and crossed his arms, grinning proudly. “I made the cake. And helped decorate.”

You laughed. “Of course, you did.”

“I am glad that you are home,” Colossus said simply, “and I wanted to be the one to welcome you back. Also, the cake is chocolate.”

“It’s not that protein cake stuff you made last time I was home, is it?”

“No," he smirked. "We will have plenty of time for protein cake after training tomorrow.”

You paled. “You’re not leading the workout, are you?”

Colossus could never be described as sinister. Intimidating, maybe. Scary, sometimes. But never sinister. Yet, his answering grin toed that line. “What better way to welcome you back than by leading your first workout?”

You could think of several ways to welcome you back that were better than suffering through one of Colossus’ workouts, naming locking him in your bedroom with you. You guessed that he was probably on the same page, but he wasn’t going to say it.

As long as you’d been friends, you’d been back and forth with the unspoken thing - that stupid mutual attraction that neither of you addressed because your respective lifestyles were explosive and hectic. Once Colossus had retired from missions, the unspoken thing had gotten more intense - a pining for you that you could sense without him saying it. It had gotten worse for you, too. It’s just that you weren’t ready to come home - until the day that you decided it was finally time.

Basically, last week. Damn your stubbornness.

“You’re going to run me into the ground before my first day,” you whined, though it was half-hearted.

“Tough workout is good for you!”

“Right, okay,” you replied. You stood up, grabbed both empty mugs, and marched to the sink. “I’m gonna go get ready for this wild party.”

"Leave the dishes. I'll get them."

"Too late - I beat you to it."

----- ----- -----

You'd never seen your name written this many times. Everything had your name scrawled on it. The streamers hanging from the ceiling, resplendent black and gold, all spelled out your name and “Happy Retirement!” Your cake spelled out your name in Colossus’ careful block lettering. Even the wrapping paper on the handful of gifts in the center of the table spelled out your name (how the hell did they find that?). You really weren’t thrilled about the “retirement” part, but you could deal with it for the rest of the night.

You were greeted by a round of screaming and applause as soon as you walked down the stairs, started by none other than your own rowdy team. They'd already been drinking and had probably started as soon as the jet landed. The younger X-Men joined in, mostly just looking for a reason to cut loose and cheer. Your older friends joined in, much more subdued than the rest, but much more sincere with their claps on the back and gently pointed age jokes. Colossus’ team, headed up by the Man of Steel himself, presented you with a giant slice of cake and an even larger can of beer.

You knew your face must have been red from all the attention, but as soon as you dug into the cake and chugged half your beer, the embarrassment started to fade. The attention was awkward, but this was your party for your retirement, and damn it if you weren’t about to have a good time. You’d always enjoyed a good party, and that night was as good as any to get splendidly plastered with your team after a job well done.

You were two sheets to the wind in when Wade Wilson handed you your third can of beer. He, like most of the people in attendance, had elected to wear his uniform (you had chosen not to - you had to retire your current suit anyhow). He was wet from where he’d spilled beer all over the fake leather.

“I say we do shots after Shiny Jesus goes to bed for the night,” Wade cheered, offering his drink in a toast.

“Sounds like a plan to me!” You tapped his can in toast and took a long drink. “You’d never believe it, but he can out-drink everyone here. Shots go down for him like water.”

“You’re shitting me!”

You shook your head. Bad idea. The world spun topsy-turvy and took its sweet time before it righted itself. “Nope. I convinced Logan to smuggle me a bottle of straight vodka for my eighteenth birthday. Couple hours in, Kitty and I were puking in the corner - man, I got sick that night - and Piotr was still taking shots with frickin’ Wolverine like it was nothing.”

“That Colossus? Giant metal boy scout?” Wade stared, slack-jawed, over at Colossus, who was picking at the greens on his plate (not a single dessert in sight). “What happened? And what do I have to do to get him to cut loose like that?”

You shrugged. “If you figure it out, lemme know. I think that was the last time I’ve ever seen him do that - not that either of us has really been home long enough at the same time to party like that. He’s always been so responsible. I mean, I’m responsible too, but he’s just cut from a different cloth.”

Which was true. You had your irresponsible moments, but for the most part, you had your shit together. You couldn’t remember a time when Colossus had been anything less than poised and organized.

Wade leaned against the wall next to you. He had to be at least a full case in already. “So, uh, does he know?”

“I assume you’re talking about my feelings," you snorted. "Can’t imagine why people keep talking to me about that - it’s not like I’m an emotional disaster right now or anything. Yeah, he knows. He’s always known. It’s mutual.”

Wade paused. “And why are you not,” he gesticulated wildly, like he was working through some weird, cosmic math problem, “a thing? Like, why are you down here at this party instead of getting the Metal D?”

“Kind of hard to be a thing when you’re never home at the same time,” you replied, glancing over to where Colossus had set up camp. He was currently entertaining Professor X and a younger X-Man that you didn’t know, still stabbing at the salad on his plate. “Or only home for a couple of days at a time.”

“You know what you should do?” Wade asked, a sparkle in his eye. He chugged the last of his beer, crushed the can against his head, and tossed the garbage off into the corner.

“I have a feeling I know where this is going…”

“Sneak away, take the Tin Man upstairs, and get a real homecoming,” Wade said like it was some fantastic revelation or a particularly scandalous secret. “And if you get loud, we’ll all pretend tomorrow that it was the guy with the pigeon wings.”

You laughed. “I’m not opposed to the idea, but I’m pretty sure he’s not gonna go for that.”

“You won’t know unless you try!”

“Except I do know,” you replied, idly watching the way Colossus' muscles bulged every time he flexed his arms. “I think he thinks I’m going to run off on a mission and be gone by morning. It’s going to require finesse to show him that I’m home for good.”

“In that case,” Wade pushed off from the wall and draped his arm around your shoulders. He reeked of cheap cologne and trashy beer. “I hereby offer my services as your wingman, and hearing no objections, appoint myself to the position.”

Wade stuck out his hand for you to shake.

You peered down at his leather-bound hand. Wade was still something of an anomaly to you, but he seemed invested. Goofy and mildly annoying as he was, he obviously meant well. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to have a little help…

You took his hand and shook. “It’s a deal.”

#colossus #colossus headcanons #MCU!Colossus #colossus imagines #colossus x reader #deadpool #deadpool headcanons #deadpool imagines #MCU!Deadpool

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packsbeforesnacks · 4 years

Text

Blank Space || Darwin & Winn

TIMING: Wednesday, July 1st, 2020, Late Afternoon LOCATION: Fine Print (Darwin’s Bookstore) PARTIES: @wardinasrani & @packsbeforesnacks SUMMARY: Winn visits Winston’s contact, Darwin, hoping to find answers about his hidden memories. When Darwin looks into Winn’s mind, the answer shocks them both. WARNINGS: Brief depiction of an anxiety attack.

Truth be told, Darwin wasn't too keen on coming out of hiding. The ritual a couple of weeks back had drained him, and it had taken him days to even feel like himself again. He wasn't an idiot, he knew the Asrani probably had people on his trail, and he'd decided to disappear at least until his magic came back. Now he could feel his energy flowing through his veins once again, power crackling at his fingertips, but did he feel safe from the Asrani's reach? Not really. Still, this was a favor to Winston, the kid he'd doomed with a cursed eye, the kid that had allowed him to perform the ritual that had stopped what could very well have been an apocalypse. Darwin owed Winston, the whole town owed Winston. White Crest might not be aware of its debt to the kid, but Darwin wasn't going to forget the part Winston had played in keeping the world safe. He'd help their friend, even if that meant coming out of hiding. When he heard the bell on the store ring, he raised his head and offered a polite smile. The door was open, even though the sign outside said closed. “Welcome. You must be Winston's friend, correct?”

It had taken a minute for Winn to find Fine Print, especially given the gaps in his memory (ha) he was still filling in with regards to the town’s twists and turns. Each new street could have hidden shops he’d never been into — and that was even before you started thinkin’ about all the magical shit that Winn couldn’t see, or could only see part of. Winston had put a lot of faith in this guy, so he hoped their bet paid off. Fine Print was louder than any bookstore Winn had ever been in (admittedly, not many), noises echoing from behind each shelf as he made his way to the only other person in the store. Winn considered Darwin’s question longer than was really appropriate, given its straightforwardness. “Friend, yeah, that’s me.” Winn wasn’t sure if Winston considered him a friend, but he’d let that last worm of anxiety wriggle its way around his head when there wasn’t a hole in his head — memories, whatever. “You’re the, uh,” he glanced around, knowing full well that there wasn’t another soul — well, maybe he shouldn’t go that far — in the store, “specialist that they mentioned, right? Darwin? I’m Winn.” Should he sit? Should he shake hands? His normal social graces weren’t applicable here, in the mage’s home territory. And God forbid he pick up a book just to make himself feel less awkward.

Darwin smiled as he studied the newcomer. Part of him, the part that he tried to hide from himself, enjoyed his nervousness: as an Asrani he'd been taught to use other people's anxiety, wield it as a weapon in order to get the best bargain. It was the reason behind the villainous mustache, the dark silk shirts, the haunted noises in his domain and the theatricality in everything he did: it created expectations in other people minds, tricked them into thinking he shouldn't be messed with. But this particular meeting wasn't about scoring a good deal, it wasn't about covering his own ass... Winn was no threat to him, and Darwin had nothing to gain from this except the warm, satisfying feeling of a good deed done. It was worth it: he had much to atone for on behalf of his family, any small step to improve his standing in this community and his karma was worth the risks. He walked over to Winn and nodded, offering him his hand. “Darwin Asrani, yes. The... Specialist.” That word sounded a bit cold to his ears: mental magic wasn't surgery, it wasn't something anyone could ever truly master: each mind was different, each spell simple at its core but presenting unexpected turns and surprises at every corner. Darwin gestured toward the small door at the end of the store, leading to the basement. “It's a pleasure to meet you, Winn. Tell me, are you the type that would prefer some small talk before getting into the reason for your visit, or would you rather jump straight to the point? I can make tea.” He was aware that, to someone who didn't know him, anything he said probably sounded sinister, but nevertheless Darwin tried to keep his tone friendly and casual.

Winn took Darwin’s hand in his own and shook it firmly before letting go. “Um,” he said, frown on his face, “I don’t mean to be rude, but… smalltalk afterwards, maybe? Sorry, it’s just… if the problem can get solved, I’d rather get it over with. It’s been a pain.” He looked towards the door, humming a bit in the back of his throat. “Some tea could be nice, though? I’m, uh, a little nervous?” It wasn’t the first time Winn had met a spellcaster, sure, but magic was all still so new to him. That mystery, ironically, kept Winn comfortable. The more he knew about it, the more scenarios his mind would play out, trying to figure out what could be possible. He’d already lost two years of memories to magic — albeit of a different origin, apparently. Winn had seen Nell summon, what, hellhounds? Winn might be a scary story, but magic was a fairytale, and, save for demons, was the hardest thing for Winn to accept about the supernatural world. Even Otto’s assertion that his father had protected his office hadn’t eased Winn’s anxieties around it. “I, um, don’t know how much they told you, about me, but to cut to the chase… I can’t remember everything in my past. For two years, there’s a… blur. I thought that I had been,” turned into a wolf, “preoccupied, during that time. But some folks say they saw me during that time… and I don’t remember ever seein’ them. My, um, my friend threw me into a tree, recently, and I slipped into a, like, almost a fugue state? Not the kind from any sort of identity disorder, but I couldn’t remember — can’t remember — the next five minutes. I came to, but… Yeah. I don’t want that to happen again. Someone,” how to phrase this delicately? “... could get hurt.”

Darwin nodded and offered Winn another smile. “Nervous is exactly what you should be,” he murmured solemnly. Jumping into magic with no fear, no doubts, that was reckless and stupid. Winn's concerns were understandable, wise even. Then again, Darwin reminded himself, doubts could also become obstacles when it came to magic. “My tea is terrible,” he concluded with a shrug, hoping the joke would ease the tension as he led his guest to the room. Darwin opened it and walked downstairs. Walls covered with libraries, a small altar in the middle of the room, runes and circles scribbled and carved everywhere, and a small electrical stove, along with some kitchen supplies. The room wasn't well-stocked enough to live there, but it had enough supplies to make some tea, and while Winn shared his tale, Darwin listened carefully, keeping himself busy with the stove. At the end of the tale, he turned around, arms crossed as the water boiled. “Mh. I see. Two years is quite a long time. My first guess would be, well...” He paused and bit his lip, stroking his mustache as he stared at Winn, deep in thought. The young man wasn't sharing everything: vague words like 'preoccupied', the awkward pauses... Darwin sighed. “Actually, I have a couple of theories. I'm going to assume you already tried regular medicine. When people come to me, they're usually at the end of their rope.” There he went again with the villainous talk. He shook his head and continued “I mean... Messing with magic can be dangerous, I'm sure Winston told you, and people don't always trust a perfect stranger with their mind, and who can blame them? But you need to understand... If you want my help, you'll have to be honest with me, no lies, no omission, or someone could get hurt.” He chuckled after echoing Winn’s own words, trying to show the guy he wasn’t threatening him, just offering Winn the same honesty Darwin was demanding of him. “So before I share my theories, I have to ask... Are you willing to do that?”

The room was about as Winn imagined a sorcerer’s would be, somethin’ out of Arthurian legend or the study of Freyja, but with modern edges, and an… altar? Some sort of centerpiece, definitely, and Winn didn’t know nearly enough about magic to begin to guess at what the placement, the runes, the shapes meant. It was enough to send his head spinning, so he focused on Darwin, ignoring the thrum of energy in the air. He’d known, of course, that he’d have to admit what he was to the mage, but… Well, he wouldn’t lie and say it didn’t make him a bit uncomfortable, what seemed like every spellslinger in White Crest knowin’ about the werewolf with the broken memory. In the wrong hands, that information could be dangerous. But… Winn trusted Winston, knew that they wouldn’t intentionally steer him into a trap. “I’m willing. Um. I’m goin’ to assume you already know about… shapeshifters. Selkies, bugbears, and… werewolves.” He paced, careful to avoid stepping on anything not recognizably English. “I’m a werewolf. Bitten, not born. I, um, it’s been almost a decade. I have a friend whose parents trained him to be a hunter and we’ve been researchin’ for weeks — or, well, he has. Nothin’ we’ve found has been useful. Until a couple of months ago, I had just thought I was… transformed, for a really long time. Thought maybe the animal didn’t know… didn’t feel the passing of time? But I called up an old packmate after I got into a… fight, with another wolf. I’ve always been fairly in control of my emotions. But this was… different. And then, later that month, my friend tossed me into a tree while I was shifted, and I almost killed her. I pulled back, barely, but… My dad, he’s, um, a huxian? He suggested it might be magical, and then pretty much everyone else has thought the same thing. So… Tada. Here I am.” He gave a weak smile. “If you have any questions, I’ll answer them. Sorry, just… y’know, I’m not human, technically. Some folks aren’t big on that.”

“I know of shapeshifters, know they exist, but nothing really specific.” Darwin replied. The natural curiosity that had pushed him to explore the Asrani library even before his father was ready to begin his training was throbbing inside him, and it took all of Darwin's willpower not to ask Winn about a dozen questions. When he mentioned a Hunter friend, though, Darwin couldn't keep a small snort at bay. Talk about unlikely friendship. After a pause, Darwin moved his hand toward Winn's shoulder in an attempt to squeeze it to reassure him. And, well, the guy had amazing shoulders, Darwin couldn't deny it. “Don't worry. This here? Judgement-free zone. An amnesiac werewolf doesn't even score in the top five dangerous creatures that I've dealt with.” The loud whistling noise let Darwin know the tea was ready, and he quickly poured two cups, offering one to Winn. He took a sip from his own, squinted and then abandoned the cup on a small desk, mumbling something about needing more sugar. “Magic can erase memories. Or, rather... Make them inaccessible. Though I don't know why someone would do that to you. There's a chance they wanted to hide something else. Maybe you witnessed something a caster wanted to be kept secret. Maybe they even manipulated you and then blocked those two years out so you wouldn't be able to go after them.” Darwin started circling the room, pacing back and forth, talking more to himself than Winn. Then he suddenly stopped and turned to stare at the werewolf. “The wolf. Is it... A separate entity within you? Does it have wishes and urges that are different from yours? Is 'it' even the right pronoun? What I mean is... Are we dealing with one or two minds, here?”

The squeeze to Winn’s shoulder was comforting, if slightly too long. He resisted the urge to waggle his eyebrows, knowing that him being serious was the most important thing here, not flirting to ease tension. “Maybe sometime I’ll ask you ‘bout that list, man.” Winn sipped the tea after a moment, wincing at the bitter taste. Hm… Okay, so. Darwin hadn’t been lyin’, that was crap. Rather than be rude, he let it cool down. It would be water soon enough. There were theories, but Winn, not unkindly, didn’t want to hear them without knowin’ the truth. Darwin could deal with the magic; Winn would deal with whatever was waitin’ for him after he broke through. Winn gave the question some thought. “I… I mean, it’s me, right? I am the wolf, the wolf is me. It’s…” Winn sighed. No judgment, Darwin had said. “It was easier, when the wolf had blood on its claws, to act like it was… separate from me, in some ways. After a while, it became a habit.” He picked up the tea again, took a sip, made the same exact face. It’s not like his memory had been great before he’d had them taken from him. “But… I don’t know, when I’m transformed, even on the bad nights — near the Moon. I remember everything. I have since the end of that first year or so. Average, from what they tell me, for Bitten. When I almost attacked Blanche?” Winn gave a thoughtful hum. “It was… almost like an instinct, one that overrode my senses and consciousness. I… a defense mechanism? Could that be somethin’? I mean, I know for… humans, their minds can develop responses to trauma that can’t really be… explained, with a simple answer. So, maybe it’s just… my mind tryin’ to protect itself? Maybe there’s somethin’ down there that I shouldn’t touch? I don’t have any answers… well, except the original one, I guess. No. The wolf isn’t different, or, uh, isn’t supposed to be. Just a turn of speech.”

“Oh, it's a fascinating list, one better enjoyed in front of dinner.” The invitation in Darwin's words wasn't subtle at all, but he didn't push any further than that: they were having a Serious Conversation™ . “Defense mechanism, mh. Makes sense. You know earlier, when I asked you if you'd explored different venues before turning to magic? That's what I meant. Trauma can block memories, and that's as mundane as it gets, something I couldn't help with no matter how deep I dug. But from what you're saying...” Darwin hesitated, not sure how to phrase things. He'd never really discussed the nature of werewolves with anyone, let alone with an actual werewolf, so he wasn't sure what would cross the hypothetical line of werewolf etiquette. After a few moments, he decided he'd deal with this not unlike a medic: clinically, detached. But damn if he wasn't curious. “Well, from what you're saying, you normally remember what you do in wolf form, even if you can't always control it. So either what you've blocked is bigger and worse than any other stuff you remember, or there's something else at play.” There was only one way to know for certain, but Darwin wasn't sure how to bring it up: 'Hey, can I look inside your mind?' wasn't exactly a first meeting offer. Then again, it had been Winn seeking him out, so... “There's a spell I can do. It would allow me to take a peek under the hood, so to speak, catch a glimpse of what's going on in that head of yours. But I have to be honest: it's a one way show, I'll see some shallow thoughts, but you won't be able to see inside my head. It might feel... invasive, I suppose. But it's the quickest way I can get an idea of what's going on and at least narrow it down. On the bright side, it would only take a couple of minutes. And, ah... to even the score, I'll answer truthfully any one single question you may have about me. And, of course, any questions you might have about the process.”

Unlike his tryst with Jimmy, Darwin’s invitation didn’t make Winn feel quite so… gross. He was happy to flirt, but… well, after. Regardless of what Noah and he decided to do, bein’ charming was, well, part of his charm. “That sums it up,” Winn said, popping the p. Even for a werewolf, there were things Winn could comfortably say he didn’t know much about — subspecies that he’d only heard about in whispered rumors, whatever hybrid monsters Adam had spoken about. But this was different. “It gets… harder to control, near the Full Moon, yeah. And on,” the three days of, “the Full Moon, we transform. Bam, the legends are true. Some of them.” He laughed, but there wasn’t much humor in it. “Let’s do it,” he said, immediately. Winn wasn’t one to wait, even if — when — waiting was the best option. When he saw somethin’, he needed to go and handle it. His memory had been weighin’ on him for too damn long, and he wanted to know. Curiosity, though typically noted of cats, called Winn to think hard about the question he’d ask Darwin, too. “Man, I’d have questions, if I knew what questions to even have. Um, will it… hurt? I guess? It doesn’t matter, I’ll take the pain, just… preparing myself, y’know. Werewolves and gettin’ hurt don’t always go great together, so please… I know you said I wasn’t dangerous, but I can be. So, I don’t know, maybe have a sleepin’ spell in your back pocket, in case you need to Sleeping Beauty me. If that’s a thing.” It had to be a thing, right?

“Wow, I give you a free pass at any personal info, and you don't go for my digits straight away? That tea must have been really bad. That, or I've lost my charm.” Darwin joked, adding a playful wink to the end of it for good measure. It seemed like Winn was more at ease whenever he assumed a less formal tone, so Darwin switched his posture to a more casual one. Yet, no matter how relaxed he wanted to keep it, he realized what Winn was saying was a real concern. Being trapped in a basement with a bloodthirsty monster was not something Darwin wanted to try any time soon. Sleeping spells existed, of course, but to check Winn's head he'd have to get close to him, so close that he wouldn't be able to even utter abracadabra before being ripped to shreds if the werewolf decided to appear. How quick did the change happen, anyway? Darwin shook his head to chase those distracting questions away, and looked at Winn, this time serious. “It will only hurt if you push me away.” The times he'd seen the ritual performed, when his father had done it to some unwilling rivals to steal their secrets, it had looked mighty uncomfortable at best and hellishly painful at worst. But Darwin himself had also done it with friends and lovers alike, using it to get closer to each other when words just wouldn't cut it. “This sort of spell can either feel invasive, or... Well, intimate, but that's up to you. It's why I offered you a question: trust will make it easier, on both of us.”

“Ah,” Winn said, an easy laugh coming out of his mouth. “I’m… goin’ on a first date with this guy, Saturday. I tried to… burn off some tension, if y’catch my drift, and it was a little weird. Given you’re about to poke around in my head, I feel like I should just come clean… If he and I had DTR’d or were open or whatever? Well, I know an easy way to help us both relax. That said, you could always steal a kiss away. Door’s open, Darwin.” He let that hang in the air for a moment, giving the man time to consider the offer. Sex? Definitely off the table, not even a little bit alright. But… one kiss? That wasn’t that bad of an idea. “So, ‘m not gonna be sorry if you see some colorful details in there, dude. You’re stacked and I have eyes.” He winked. “‘Sides, I’m fine with intimate. I’m tryin’ this new thing where I just tell folks shit that they might want to know. I won’t push you away. Hell, get as close as you need.” Winn thought through Darwin’s ask a little more carefully. It seemed, almost, like askin’ something would make the other man more comfortable. And, hell, he’d been thinkin’ a lot on the subject lately, so there was… one question that occurred to him. Winn was just the brand of shameless to ask. “What’s it like for you, when you fall in love?” he said before he could stop himself, though he quickly followed it up with, “I know you said… anything, but if that’s too, uh, personal, I get it. Really, I do. I can always get your number.” He smiled, this one a little more real, and left himself open to Darwin’s best… or worst.

Darwin seriously considered the offer: Winn was extremely attractive, and one way or another he was about to be inside him anyway. The way he licked his lips made it abundantly clear that the temptation was there, but ultimately Darwin shook his head, albeit a little reluctantly. “I'm not the sort to steal kisses, Winn. No way to enjoy the build up and the aftermath of a kiss if it's stolen and tinted with guilt. More importantly, I'm not a home-wrecker. Or, well, an opportunity-killer, if things aren't that serious. You seem pretty into this guy, and I'm not gonna jeopardize that.” Again, a wink, followed by a low chuckle. “That said, if come Saturday you two have defined things and the door's still open, I'll let you have my number anyway.” Winn's eagerness to share was refreshing; the people that usually came to Darwin were secretive at best, with far too many things to hide for Darwin's taste. Hell, Darwin himself had his fair share of secrets, but he only kept those because he knew they'd scare most people off, not because he really wanted to keep them hidden. What Winn asked, though? That wasn't scary, and Darwin let out a relieved sigh when he heard the question. “Not too personal at all. Could've asked way worse shit. But it is a... Difficult question. I could wax some poetry, feed you some lines like 'it just feels right', but truth is... I don't know.” With his father keeping such a close eye on him, Darwin had never gotten the chance to grow close enough to someone to fall, he'd barely had the time for the casual one night stands he'd somehow managed to keep a secret from his legacy-obsessed family. And once he'd finally left them, he'd been too busy moving from place to place, following demons summoned by the Asrani and fixing their mess. Wow. Up until that particular moment, Darwin hadn't really thought about how much his family had taken from him. “Never been in love, I don't think. Been in lust, had some intense friendships, but love? Never had the chance. I can only assume it feels... like home. Not my home, mind you, my home was a mess, but like... a not fucked up home. One that accepts all of you, one where you feel comfortable and safe and can be simply yourself and walk around in your boxers, one that smells like your favorite food and... Sorry, I guess I am waxing poetry now. What can I say, I'm a romantic at heart.” They were getting off topic, but it had been a while since Darwin had just had a pleasant chat with someone, one that wasn't necessarily about dark pacts, obscure rituals and potential apocalypses. Again, refreshing. “Why that question? Of all the questions you could have asked, you went for the love one right after sort of” another wink, the last in what felt like a long series for such a brief meeting “turning me down. Sending some mixed signals here, buddy.” Before Winn could have the chance to answer, Darwin placed a finger on his lips to silence him. “Actually… Perhaps you should answer that after Saturday, mh? After all, you did turn me down. I’m guessing that date is related to the question, and we don’t want you focused on all these confusing emotions right before I dive into your head. Besides, I’d like to talk more, get to know you. Platonically, I mean. Haven’t had the chance to meet many friends here, so… Let’s not burn all the steps with the deep personal love stuff just yet, mh?”

Leaning forward, Winn settled in for Darwin’s explanation. He couldn’t find it in himself to be… disappointed, per se, but Darwin’s decision to stay out of his and Noah’s dance — or, well, Twister game — only confirmed that Winn could trust this man, even if the man had a story, a past, and plenty of secrets. If he wasn’t relaxed before, the last coil of anxiety had been taken from his gut. When Darwin explained, Winn couldn’t help but smile a bit. The honesty was nice; Darwin reminded him almost of Rio in that way. Romantic at heart, a big apologetic for when he rambled, but ultimately kinder than… well, what White Crest could turn people into, if they let it. When Darwin’s finger left Winn’s lips, he nodded. “I’d like that, too,” he said, after a moment. “But,” he clapped his hands together, “leeeeet’s do this. Spread me open, bro.” Wow. Talk about an innuendo. There was an energy to this interaction, and Winn wasn’t sure if it was the magic coursing through, what, Darwin’s veins? Or if it was simply the chemistry of two future friends. Either way, Winn was diggin’ it. Felt better than wiggin’ about his memories. “How do you want me?”

Darwin tried to keep a straight face. Seriously, he gave it his best shot, he bit his tongue and winced at the pain of that. But in the end, he just couldn't keep it in, and his loud, baritone laughter echoed in the basement. “That was... so bad,” he finally let out with a gasp, shaking his head. “I've used some terrible pick up lines, but you've got me beaten.” Again, he patted Winn's shoulder, this time the relaxed gesture of two buddies sharing a good laugh and nothing more. Well, almost nothing more, the guy still had incredible shoulders, and Darwin's hand lingered there. He used the contact to cop a feel, sure, but also to lead Winn toward the desk where his tea had been abandoned. With his leg, he pushed the chair, to give Winn room to sit, and then he gently pushed the man on it. “At the cost of being just as cheesy as you've been, I'll need you to relax, it'll make it easier. I'm also going to look like one of those evil hypnotists you see on TV, but no pocket watch or swirling spirals. Just some intense eye contact as I try to establish a... a connection with your mind.” As he spoke he lowered his voice to a soft whisper, and put both his hands on Winn's temples, tilting his head slightly so he could look in his eyes. “Just focus on my breathing, and try to match it. Slow and easy. Take me in as you inhale, let your worries out as you exhale. Like meditating, but we're doing it together.” For a moment he wondered if his sandalwood cologne would smell chemical to a werewolf this close, and if he could sense Darwin's natural scent, but instead of dwelling on that — more questions for their potential friendly outing — he started gathering his energy. He didn't need words for this particular ritual but he kept murmuring, to give Winn something to follow as Darwin visualized his own conscience enveloping his hands. He couldn't see auras, but he liked to think his right now would look like a bright ball of energy surrounding Winn's head, warm and almost electrical as his essence moved around, gentle, tentative almost, looking for an opening, hoping Winn (more importantly, his wolf instincts) would feel safe enough to make his job easier.

Even if it had been an accidental joke, Winn still was happy to hear Darwin laugh, even slightly at his expense. “Only terrible,” he said, with another friendly wink, “if it’s never worked.” He allowed Darwin to put one of his big, warm hands on Winn’s shoulder — and, hm, okay, heel boy — and guide him to sit. Darwin was close, and he was right, this was intimate. Winn could think of partners whose face he hadn’t gotten this close to. Winn snorted at the joke, but tried his best to relax. In, out. Darwin smelled like cologne, sandalwood one of the few scents that Winn enjoyed, but if Winn inhaled deeper, and he did, he could smell something… like a burning, almost, but it was faint. Underneath, though, Darwin’s scent reminded him of… Ricky’s, almost. Saltwater and the outdoors, someone perpetually destined to be a wanderer. Unlike the mountain scents that Winn associated with pack, this one was, admittedly, a little strange to him. Not… bad, but strange. In, out. Darwin’s hands on his head buzzed, almost, and it wasn’t painful, not quite, but the feeling was… too much, almost. His mind had only ever had Winn in it, that he’d remembered, but. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. His eyes, though open, lulled to a half-closed state, his gaze lost in Darwin’s dark ones. There was so much on Winn’s mind, at all times, but here, like this, the cores rose up to meet Darwin. Winn wouldn’t describe it, except that his mind was… light. Noah, his friends, his newfound purpose, all lived there, linked together and shining out from Winn. Without thinking, his lips slid into a smile. Inhale. Exhale. The light, though, cast… a shadow. And within that shadow, concealed from vision, was a hole. The shadow, his mistakes, his anxieties, the ways in which he’d failed, time and time again, to make things right. And, if Winn followed Darwin’s energy, he could almost feel the absence in his mind. It hurt, more than he could describe, but it wasn’t… physical. It was grief, loss, unnamed things and unremembered things. And then, Winn’s eyes glassed over, as Darwin looked into what his mind refused to see.

Winn's mind was not what Darwin would have expected when looking into what people often described as a savage beast. While the spell was too superficial to really put faces to the soft feelings swirling inside Winn's head, it was clear that those bonds meant a great deal to the man sitting in front of him. That was the mind of a protector, not a monster. Like demons, perhaps werewolves were misunderstood, and people should focus more on their deep sense of family and pack rather than their fangs and claws. Then again, this might just be Winn, not a werewolf thing. Darwin had learned long enough not to generalize when it came to these things. Feeling Winn grow more comfortable with what they were doing, he dove deeper, moving past the superficial thoughts, those that were either so ingrained in Winn's core or so fresh that the man had no trouble remembering them on his own. The painful memories, the doubts and fears weren't unexpected; everyone had dark corners in their mind, and Darwin did his best to move past those as quick as he could, to let the man have as much privacy as he could give him. But what he sensed next... Darwin's spell was meant to let him reach within for things he'd lost, things that might have been locked away. And once he'd found those cages, he'd just open them and return the memories to Winn. Simple, clean. Except there were no cages. What he saw was... a void. Like a puzzle missing a few pieces. Darwin paused, so baffled that Winn would probably be able to sense it through their temporary connection. Winn's memories weren't trapped, they weren't hidden under a hazy fog, or lost in an endless sea. They were just... a blank space. Darwin moved his thumbs' on Winn's temples, trying to soothe him as best he could as he lingered in his head, searching for something that wasn't there. Perhaps it was the fact he was dealing with a wolf, but the longer he spent looking, the more he felt like a dog chasing a ball that'd never been thrown. He spent minutes hunting, each moment everlasting, but no matter how much he tried... Nothing. Finally Darwin gave up, and he slowly pulled back, his hands releasing Winn's face as the last remnants of his conscience left him. He gave Winn a few moments to recover before opening his mouth to speak. And then he closed it again, not sure how to break the news to him. The silence, coupled with the grim expression on Darwin's face, spoke volumes, and when he finally made a sound it was tentative, guilty almost. “How are you?”

The fuzz from Darwin’s temporary confusion stung at Winn’s temples, almost like brain freeze, and he felt himself wince even if he was practiced enough at weathering pain to not break the connection. In, out. He bit into his lip, so hard he was half-sure it was bleeding. Darwin spent more time in his head, looking for what he wasn’t sure. Winn trusted the spellcaster — or, trusted that Winston trusted the spellcaster — and knew that, if he could just wait, just be patient, then Darwin would ever be able to put his fractured mind back together. But, the longer Darwin looked, the more Winn began to sense that… that maybe his mind wasn’t fractured, so much as missing something. That hole, the one hidden beneath the shadows, was that… was that an actual hole and not just a place where things were hiding in wait? He felt a spike of anxiety run through him as Darwin pulled away, and Winn searched his face. When the silence didn’t break, when Darwin’s mouth just kept opening, shutting, and the look grew even more grave, Winn started to ask… and found he couldn’t. How are you? Well, panicking, if Winn was going to be honest. He took a few breaths, trying to calm himself down, but he knew the signs of an anxiety attack like the back of his hand. Winn hadn’t had one in years, had grown to an expert at managing them between therapy and becoming a counselor-in-training himself. But something about this one was different, and Winn felt himself burying his face in his hands, blocking out the light, blocking out Darwin’s pained expression. There was a part of him that wanted Darwin to touch him, to reach out and say something. And then there was the part, equally as strong, that was sure that would make him lash out at someone who didn’t deserve it. And so Winn took shuddering breaths as he tried to wrap his head around what he sensed was true. Finally, a whisper, “... They’re not there.” It wasn’t a question.

Darwin could only watch in silence as emotions danced on Winn’s face, and he felt like some sick peeping tom, even more so than when he’d been inside his mind. He watched as doubt turned to fear and then into terrible certainty, and he felt powerless to help Winn. The selfish part of him was glad at least that the werewolf seemed to have grasped the situation, it kept Darwin from struggling with how to break the news to him. As things stood now, there was nothing his magic could do for Winn: nothing to release, nothing to fix. Maybe, maybe Darwin could help if only Winn had a vague hint about where the memories had gone. Who’d taken them. But this whole situation was obviously something Winn didn’t fully understand, and Darwin assumed if he’d had some vague suspicion he’d have shared it with him. Darwin could maybe tell him that, should the memories be found, it would be possible to put them back where they belonged, but right then, staring at Winn’s chest rising and falling with deep breaths as he tried to calm himself down, Darwin didn’t have it in him to offer his new acquaintance (possible friend?) any false hope. So, after a long, endless pause, he just lowered his head and sighed. His hand moved once again to Winn’s shoulder, this time not to feel the muscles there, but just to offer a small anchor in this moment where the rug had been pulled from under his feet. He opened his other arm in a silent invite, and simply whispered… “No. No, they’re not.”

#wickedswriting #para #Darwin #Blank Space #Chain of Memories

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