#yes mainly this was so they could get married to someone of the same sex | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

junkomc · 1 month ago

Text

Cod x OC【title：Afterglow】第8章

（NSFW/18+ / MｘM / bottom oc）soap x oc/ghost x oc/price x oc/ Pierson x oc / oc x oc

>>>１・２・３・４・５・６・７・８・９・10・11・12・13・14・15・16 ・17・18��19 (Part 1 scheduled to end)

※英語は母国語ではありません。主にGoogle翻訳を使っていますので、読みにくいところがあるかもしれませんが、ご容赦ください。翻訳版の後に日本語版の小説を載せています。

※English is not my native language. I mainly use Google translation, so please forgive me if there are some parts that are difficult to read.

The Japanese version of the novel is posted after the translated version.

―――――――――――――――――――――――――

Chapter 8: Past (price ♡ jet)/Jet suspects a connection between Ghost and Soap.

Actually, Jet wanted to talk to Gaz about what was going on with him, but the fact that I was in a dangerous relationship with my boss at my new workplace, three of my co-workers, and someone of the same sex seemed extremely out of place as a conversation topic over dinner. I also thought that Gaz, who is straight, would probably not understand, so I ended up just talking about harmless things.

"By the way, have you heard about the PMC that will be joining the upcoming mission? TETRA is the company you used to belong to, right?"

"...Yes."

Jet tried his best to remain calm so as not to overreact to the word TETRA. He was excited to be working with his former colleagues again, but at the same time, he was reminded of his former boss, William Pierson, and He had mixed feelings.

Pierson was a handsome man with stubble that suited him well, tall and slender but not skinny by any means, and he had impressive pectoral muscles and biceps.

As he held Jet in the missionary position, he placed his arms around the sides of his face like a wall, holding him tightly so that he could only see himself, whispering "You're mine, look only at me" as he pumped his hot semen into Jet over and over again.

He also had a habit of biting Jet during sex, leaving him covered in bruises. He would intentionally put the marks in risky places, as if he wanted to show them off to the people around him.

He has a fierce and moody personality, and when he's in a bad mood, no one can get close to him, so he's called Tiger. He fucked Jet with the ferocity and roughness of a tiger not only in everyday life but also in bed. However, when he was weak or lonely, he would act like a cat and appeal to Jet, wanting only his attention. Jet easily fell for the gap that he only showed to himself.

However, he was not gay but bisexual, and six months after their relationship began, Pierson confessed to Jet that he had found a woman he liked, and they even got engaged, so naturally the two broke up.

It was painful, and it was the reason Jet left TETRA, but He didn't blame Pierson. In fact, He even thought it was inevitable. Jet convinced himself that if He was bisexual, He might have chosen the easy path for life in the same way.

Come to think of it, Soap said he was bisexual...

Jet suddenly imagined that one day Soap too would meet a wonderful woman, get married, and have a beautiful child together. He felt that he couldn't get any deeper into this.

I shouldn't get in the way of Soap's ordinary happiness.

A smile naturally broke out as he imagined a cute baby that had inherited Thorpe's blue eyes. Jet had completely forgotten that he was walking alone and hastily covered his mouth with his hands.

At that moment, Jet saw Ghost and Soap having a conversation up ahead.

They were at the end of the corridor, in a slightly shadowed area next to the warehouse door, and seemed to be whispering something.

He could have just walked past them, but he stopped dead in his tracks and couldn't move. Taking advantage of the fact that the two hadn't noticed him, Jet pretended to be playing with his smartphone and took a quick look at Soap and Ghost. Perhaps not wanting to be overheard, Ghost approached Soap and said something in his ear. As usual, he couldn't read his expression because of the mask, but his eyes were serious and he certainly didn't look like he was having a fun story. He could only see Soap's back, so he couldn't see his expression, but Jet could tell that Soap's fists were clenched tightly.

The closeness between the two of them made Jet fall into the trap of a fantasy.

Perhaps they were already dating?

If they were bisexual, there was a great guy right next to them, so surely they would seduce the guy next to them before messing with someone like me?

So maybe I was just being teased as someone to play with, to spice up their relationship?

Jet was elated that Soap, Ghost, and even Price all treated him kindly, as if they were interested in him, but in the end, he scolded himself, thinking that there was no chance that someone like him could ever sneak in between those perfect men, even for a moment.

Just like with Pierson, he realized he would never be the protagonist in a romance movie... Jet feels like a supporting character in someone's life, a summer firework. It only sparkled for a moment, and it wouldn't last forever.

Coming to his senses, Jet briskly passed by Soap and Ghost, as if his earlier hesitation had been a lie. Of course, the two of them noticed, and Soap hurriedly called out, "Jet, hi!", but He didn't turn around, just raised his left hand slightly while pretending to look at his smartphone, and left.

Jet headed straight for Price's office.

He wasn't sure if Price was there, but after knocking twice and saying his name, he heard a gentle reply from inside, "I told you the door's always open for you."

The words sounded very gentle to the wounded Jet, and he quickly opened the door, eager to see Price.

Price was standing right in front of him, so close that they almost bumped into each other, so he instinctively put both hands on Price's chest to distance himself from him. Price quickly took both of his hands and looked into Jet's face.

"Sorry, Captain, this is so sudden..."

"You're always welcome, right?"

Seeing Jet's slightly red eyes and moist pupils, Price realized something was up, so he quietly locked the door behind him and invited him over to the bed.

"Just sit down, is there anything you'd like to talk about?"

While sitting next to each other on the bed, Price put his arm around Jet's shoulders and pulled him closer, gently stroking his thigh with his free hand.

Price gently cupped Jet's cheek and turned him towards him, as he looked down and didn't want to talk. Price gasped as Jet's eyes became more and more moist.

"Captain, am I just a part of the thrill of life to you?"

Price's eyes widened at the question.

"Oh dear, poor fawn. Which man made you feel that way? Was it Soap? Was it Ghost? They're too good for You. They don't know your value."

"Captain...?"

Jet's single word caused a swirl of emotions inside Price, and he was overcome with the desire to make the young man in front of him his own right away.

"Listen, Jet. You're as fascinating as the thrill is, but It's not a momentary passion …You know, I could lock you in this room forever."

Jet felt a strange fire in Price's blue eyes and felt an electric current run down his spine.

The next moment, Jet kissed Price himself. He wanted Price to mess him up so badly that he couldn't think about anything else. He wanted to feel that he was wanted and loved.

Price tried to calm him down by kissing not only his lips but also his cheeks, eyelids and temples, and caressed him as if wrapping him in a hug.

"Jet, we have plenty of time. Just tell me what you want to do."

Shot into Price's gentle eyes, Jet had no choice but to follow his own desires.

"...I want you, Price."

"...Of course, I'll give you everything."

Price smiled gently and took off his olive-green shirt.

Like Pierson, Price was also the type who looked thin when wearing clothes, and his chest and abs under his clothes were of course more well-trained than Jet's, and it was hard to believe that he was a man ten years older than him.

"...It makes me embarrassed when you stare at me like that. Come on, don't leave me alone."

Jet was taken aback by his words and hurriedly took off his shirt.

This time Price was transfixed by Jet's naked body. There were a few scars on his silky smooth skin, but they didn't detract from his beauty. His thin, even muscles showed that he didn't have a body that was easy to build muscle on. However, they were far from shabby, and you could see how hard he had worked to get them through his regular training. Price was tempted by the V-line peeking out from his toned waist, and unconsciously reached for it.

"...Take it all off."

Jet looked at Price in silence and slowly removed his belt.

-Soap and Ghost-

After finishing his meal in the dining room, Ghost called Soap to the hallway to talk for a bit. Ghost urged Soap to move a little to the side and spoke in a low voice so as not to draw attention, so Soap knew what he was trying to say.

"Something happened in the shower room yesterday, right?"

"... Something happened in the armory, didn't it?"

An awkward atmosphere flowed between the two of them.

"Johnny, we have no secrets between us. Especially not about him. So, I'll be honest with you, so tell me."

Soap was quiet for a moment, then turned away from Ghost and began to speak in a low voice.

"...We kissed in the shower room. I didn't force him, he wanted to. Then we masturbated together after that. We each ourselves... I was right next to him but I didn't touch him, we just kissed... We both came while kissing."

"Oh... Johnny, that's a very Naughty stories."

Thanks to Soap's explanation, the moment they climaxed while kissing, separated by only a thin wall in the shower room, vividly replayed in Ghost's mind, and he sighed.

"Ghost...What about you?"

"...He knew everything about me. How I was unsuited for love, how destructive I was...how I was ruining myself with fleeting desires..."

"...Huh? Didn't you apologize to him?"

Soap remembered what Jet had told him and tried to check the answer.

"Well, I did, but...he was straddling me and rubbing against me and I didn't have time to think about it."

"Hey Ghost! What do you mean?!"

Soap taps Ghost on the shoulder.

"...We were both dressed. We didn't do anything more than that, and He didn't let me. Maybe it was a way of getting back at me. He told me to think about what I want, not what he wants."

Soap sighs deeply.

"He's such a little devil..."

"...But even so, you're not going to give up on him, are you?"

Ghost nudges Soap on the shoulder as if to get revenge for the previous incident.

"Of course, I don't care if he sleeps with you, as long as he doesn't reject me. ... Sure, if I get him all to myself, it's all the better, but if it's you or Price, I've got no chance of winning."

"That's a nice thing to say, but the important thing is how he feels about us. I don't know what's going on with Price and Jet. And I honestly still don't know how Jet feels about me."

Ghost looked down sadly, and Soap gave him a nasty smile.

"Simon, you can have any man or woman you want, right? This is a big problem..."

"Shut up, Johnny. ... We just need to talk to him and get him before someone else seduces Jet."

"...Yeah."

Ghost's words reminded Soap of some of the people on the base who were giving Jet suspicious looks, and he unconsciously clenched his fists.

Ghost and Soap had talked about their sexuality early on, exchanging dirty jokes and light body contact, but they never got physical. That was simply because they both preferred to be on top when having sex with men. The type of bottom they both wanted was masculine, but lithe and slender, with a build that could be completely hidden by their body. That was exactly what Jet was like.

"I'll text Jet later. I'll call him to my room, so Ghost, please come too."

The moment Soap said that, the person they were talking about passed by.

Jet was glued to his smartphone screen and didn't seem to notice Soap and Ghost at all, so Soap called out to him in a hurry, but he didn't turn around and just waved and passed by.

The two of them watched his back, and finally saw him enter Price's office.

"Do you think that is work or personal?"

Soap asked Ghost.

"Even at work, he has private conversations. He's better than us..."

Ghost's answer made Soap sigh for the umpteenth time today.

Below is the Japanese version

　珍しくその日はギャズと2人で食事をした。

　本当は今自分に起こっている事について彼に相談したかったが、新しい職場の上司と同僚3人と、しかも同性と危うい関係にあるなんて、食事中の話題としては場違いも甚だしい。それにストレートのギャズにはきっと理解できないだろうと思い、結局当たり障りのない話をするしかなかった。

　「そういえば、今度のミッションに加わるPMCの事を聞いた？TETRAって、君が以前所属していた所だよな？」

　「…そうだよ」

　ジェットはTETRAという言葉に過剰に反応しないように必死に平静を装った。前の同僚と再び仕事ができる事は楽しみだったが、同時にかつての上司、ウィリアム・ピアソンの事も思い出され胸がざわついた。

　ピアソンは無精髭の似合うハンサムな男で、背が高くスラリとしていたが決して細身ではなく着痩せするタイプで、その胸筋と上腕二頭筋は素晴らしいものだった。

　正常位でジェットを抱く時には、その両腕で彼の顔の横を壁のように覆い、しっかりとホールドし、視界に自分しか見えないようにして「お前は俺のものだ、俺だけを見ろ」と囁きながらジェットの中に何度も熱い性液を注ぎ込んだ。

　また、彼はセックスの時に噛み付くのが癖で、ジェットはいつも痣だらけだった。わざと際どい位置に痕を着けて、まるで周りの人々に見せびらかしたいかのようだった。

　激しく気難しい性格で、機嫌の悪い時は誰も近寄ることができない為、"タイガー"と呼ばれており、普段の生活だけではなくベッドの上でもまるで虎のような凶暴さと荒々しさでジェットを抱いた。だがしかし、弱っている時や寂しい時には猫のように甘え、自分にだけかまって欲しいとアピールしてくる。自分だけに見せるそんなギャップにジェットは簡単に落ちてしまった。

　だが、彼はゲイではなくバイで、二人の関係が始まった半年後にはピアソンから好きな女性が出来たと告白され、彼はその女性と婚約まで話が進み、自然と別れる事になった。

　辛かったと言えば辛かったし、それがTETRAを辞める理由でもあったが、ピアソンを責める気持ちは無かった。むしろ“仕方ない”とさえ思った。自分もバイならばそのように生きやすい道を選んでいたかもしれない…と自分を納得させた。

　そういえば、ソープもバイだと言っていたな…。

　ジェットはふと、彼もいつかは素敵な女性と出会い、結婚して、二人の間には可愛らしい子供が生まれる事だろうと想像した。ますます深みにハマる事は出来ないと改めて感じた。彼の"普通の幸せ"の邪魔をしてはいけない。

　ソープの青い目を受け継いだ可愛らしい赤ん坊を想像して、自然に笑みが溢れる。今自分が1人で歩いている事を完全に忘れていたジェットは慌てて手で口を隠した。

　その時、前方でゴーストとソープが会話しているのが見えた。通路の端の方、倉庫のドアの横の少し影になった所でなにやらヒソヒソと話しているようだった。このまま普通に通りすぎればよかったものの、つい足を止めてしまいそこから動けなくなってしまった。2人が彼に気づいていないのをいい事に、ジェットはスマホをいじる振りをしながら、チラッとソープとゴーストを確認した。話している内容を聞かれたくないのか、ゴーストはソープに近づき、耳元で何か言っている。相変わらずマスクのせいで表情は読めないが、目は真剣で、決して談笑している感じではなかった。ソープは後ろ姿しか見えないので表情はわからなかったが、彼の拳が強く握ら��ているのはわかった。

　彼ら2人の距離の近さにジェットはある妄想に囚われた。

　もしかしたら2人はすでに付き合っているのではないか？

　あの2人がバイなら、すぐ側に素晴らしいスペックの男がいるのだから自分にちょっかいを出す前に、まずそちらからアプローチするだろう…と。

　ならば自分はやはり火遊びの相手として、2人の関係のスパイスとして揶揄われていただけではないのか？

　ソープもゴーストもプライスまでもが自分に気があるかのように優しく近づいてくるので、錯覚する所だったが、あの完璧な男たちの間に自分のような人間が一瞬でも割り込めるチャンスなど無かったのだ。

　ピアソンの時と同じで、自分はやはりロマンス映画の主人公にはなれない…。誰かの人生の脇役、夏の花火のようなものなのだ。輝きは一瞬だけ、永遠には続かない。

　我に帰ると、ジェットは今まで躊躇っていたのかが嘘のように勢いよくソープとゴーストの隣を通り過ぎた。もちろん2人がそれに気づかない訳はなく、ソープが慌てて「ジェット、やぁ！」と話しかけたが、ジェットは振り向かず、スマホを見る振りをしたまま左手を軽く上げるだけで去っていった。

　そのままジェットが向かったのはプライスのオフィスだった。

　彼がいるのかどうかはわからなかったが、2回ノックして名乗ると中から優しく「君の為にいつでも鍵は開けていると言っただろう」と返事があった。

　傷付いた今のジェットにその言葉はとても優しく響き、勢いよくドアを開ける。すると、つま先がぶつかるほどの近さで、目の前にプライスが立っていたので思わず両手をプライスの胸に当てて距離をとった。プライスはすかさずその両手を包み、ジェットの顔を覗き込む。

　「すみません、キャプテン、急に…」

　「君ならいつでも大歓迎だ」

　ジェットの目元が若干赤く、瞳が潤んでいるのを見て何かを察したプライスはそっと後ろのドアの鍵を閉めて、彼をベッドの方に誘った。

　「とにかく座って、何か話があるのかい？」

　ベッドに並んで座っている間、プライスはジェットの肩を抱くようにして引き寄せ、空いた方の手で彼の太ももを優しく撫でていた。中々俯いて話そうとしないジェットの頬を優しく包むと、自分の方を向かせる。ますます潤むジェットの瞳にプライスは息を呑む。

　「…キャプテン、あなたにとって私も、ただ一瞬の…人生のスリルの一部なんですか？」

　その質問にプライスは目を見開く。

　「…なんて事だ、可哀想な子鹿。君にそんな風に思わせたのはどの男だ。ソープか？ゴーストか？やはりあいつらには君は勿体ない。君の価値をわかっていない」

　「キャプテン…？」

　ジェットのたった一言でプライスの中で様々な感情が渦巻いて、目の前の青年を今すぐ自分のものにしたいという欲求に駆られ��。

　「聞いてくれ、ジェット。君はスリルと同じくらい魅力的だが、それは一瞬じゃない。知っているか？私は君をこの部屋に永遠に閉じ込める事も出来るんだ」

　プライスの青い瞳に怪しげな炎を感じて、ジェットは背筋に電気が走ったような気がした。

　次の瞬間、ジェットは自らプライスに口付けた。もう何も考えられないくらいめちゃくちゃにして欲しかった。自分は求められて愛されていると実感したかったのだ。

　ジェットの必死なキスにプライスは彼を落ち着かせるように唇だけでなく頬、瞼やこめかみにもキスをし、包み込むように愛撫する。

　「ジェット、時間はたくさんある。君がどうしたいか教えてくれ」

　プライスの優しい瞳に射抜かれてジェットは自らの欲求に従うしかなかった。

　「…あなたが欲しいです、プライス」

　「…もちろん、全部あげるよ」

　プライスは優しく微笑むと、着ていたオリーブグリーンのシャツを脱いだ。

　プライスもピアソンと同じく着痩せするタイプで、服の下の胸筋や腹筋はもちろんジェットよりも見事に鍛えてられており、自分より10歳以上年上の男のものとは思えなかった。

　「…あまり見つめられると照れるな。ほら、私をひとりにしないでくれ」

　ジェットはその言葉にハッとなり、自分も慌ててシャツを脱いだ。

　今度はプライスがその裸に釘付けになる。絹のような滑らかな肌に、傷跡が数箇所あるがそれは彼の美しさを損なう程のものではない。薄く均一についた筋肉は体質的に彼が筋肉の付きにくい身体なのだとわかる。だがしかしそれは貧相とは程遠く、彼が如何に普段のトレーニングで苦労して得たのかが伺える。引き締まった腰から覗くVラインに誘惑され、無意識のうちにプライスはそこに手を伸ばす。

　「下も、全部脱ぐんだ」

　ジェットは黙って彼を見つめたままゆっくりとベルト外した。

　―ソープandゴースト―

　食堂で食事を終えた後、ゴーストに呼び止められてソープは廊下で少し話すことになった。ゴーストが少し端に寄るようにソープに促し、あまり目立たぬように小さな声で話し出す様子からして、ソープは何となく内容を察した。

　「昨日シャワールームで何かあったな？」

　「…そっちこそ、武器庫で何かあったんだろう？」

　2人の間に気まずい空気が流れる。

　「ジョニー、俺たちの間に隠し事は無しだ。特に彼の事については。…だから俺も正直に話すから話してくれ」

　ソープは少し黙った後、ゴーストから視線を逸らしながら小さな声でボソリと話し始めた。

　「…シャワールームでキスした。無理矢理じゃないし、彼が望んだ。で、その後一緒にオナニーした。それぞれ自分のを触って…すぐ側にいたけど彼には触れていない、キスだけ…。キスしながら互いにイッた。」

　「ああ…ジョニー、それはとても刺激的だな…」

　ソープの説明のおかげで、2人がシャワールームの薄��壁一枚隔ててキスしながら絶頂を迎える瞬間が脳内で鮮やかに再生され、ゴーストはため息をついた。

　「…そっちは？」

　「…彼は俺の事を全部わかっていたよ。俺が如何に恋愛に向いてなくて、破滅的で…一時の欲望で自分をダメにしているかを…」

　「…あれ？彼に謝罪したんじゃないのか？」

　ソープはジェットから聞いた話を思い出し、答え合わせをしようとした。

　「いや、しようとしたんだが…彼に跨られて、擦り付けられてそれどころではなかった。」

　「おいおいゴースト！どういう事だよ？！」

　ソープは慌ててゴーストの肩を軽く拳で叩く。

　「…互いに服は着ていたよ。それ以上は何もしなかったしさせなかったよ。俺に対する仕返しなのかもしれないな。彼がどうしたいかではなく、俺がどうしたいかをよく考えろ、とさ。」

　ソープは深いため息を吐いた。

　「彼は、なんて小悪魔なんだ…」

　「…だとしても、お前は彼から手を引く気なんてないんだろ？」

　ゴーストはさっきの仕返しかのようにソープの肩を小突く。

　「もちろん、彼が俺を拒絶しない限り、彼が君と寝ようが構わない。…そりゃあ独り占めできたらそれ以上の事はないけど、相手が君やプライスなら勝ち目は無い」

　「嬉しい事を言ってくれるな。だが、肝心なのは彼が我々をどう思っているかだ。プライスとジェットがどうなっているかも分からない。それに、俺は…正直まだジェットにどう思われているか…わからない」

　ゴーストが悲しげに目を伏せると、ソープが意地の悪い笑みを浮かべた。

　「望めばどんな男も女もすぐ手に入るあのサイモンが！これは一大事だ…」

　「ジョニー、黙れ。…とにかく彼と話をして、他の奴が彼を誘惑する前に手に入れなければ」

　「…そうだね」

　ソープはゴーストの言葉に、ジェットに妖しい視線を送る人間が何人か基地内にいる事を思い出し、無意識に拳に力を込めた。

　ゴーストとソープは早いうちに互いのセクシャリティについて話し、下品なジョークを言い合ったり軽いボディタッチもしたりするが、決して身体の繋がりは無かった。なぜなら単に、二人とも男性とのセックスではトップを好んだからだ。彼らが求めるボトムのタイプは、男性的だがしなやかで細身の、自分にすっぽりと隠れてしまうような体格が好みだった。まさしくジェットがそうだったのだ。

　「…あとでジェットにメールしてみるよ。俺の部屋に呼ぶからゴーストも来てくれ」

　ソープがそう言った瞬間、2人の横を今まさに話題の人物が横切った。

　ジェットはスマホの画面に釘付けで、ソープとゴーストにまったく気付いていない様子だったので、構って欲しくてソープは慌てて声を掛けたが彼は振り向く事なく手だけ振って通り過ぎて行った。その後ろ姿を2人はじっと眺め、最終的にプライスのオフィス��入っていくのを確認した。

　「仕事か、プライベートかどっちだと思う？」

　ソープがゴーストに尋ねる。

　「仕事だとしても、プライスはプライベートに持っていくさ。彼は俺たちよりも何枚も上手だからな…」

ゴーストの答えにソープは何回目か分からないため息を吐いた。

～to be continued～

#call of duty oc #cod x male reader #original male character #captain price x male reader #captain price x oc

1 note · View note

mylifeonprivate · 1 year ago

Text

07.05.22

I’m going to start journaling again. I did it on an app on my phone the other day but Tumblr is just easier for the handoff capability between my phone and my laptop. I’ll copy here the brief summary of the events that have transpired over the six months after Andrew and I broke up.

“Where did that leave me? I was absolutely devastated. I gave my virginity to this guy, shared so much of myself, introduced him to my family as the guy I’d marry, and now I’m all alone. I never felt more alone. I felt a certain kind of “alone” during the relationship but this post-break up state of being alone made being alive the most exhausting thing I could think of.

I started using the dating apps. It was nerve-wracking but weirdly entertaining. It got me out of the house for sure. At first I was hesitant and shy, and mainly just talked to guys, but I started going on dates in June. I really wanted another boyfriend so I was trying to be meticulous about my choices. By the end of the month, I was already kind of fatigued with the dating game. Having the same conversations over and over took the fun out of it.

I went on a date with Joseph during the first week of July but I was so in my head about it that I didn’t give it the credit it deserved. He really was the only one I felt like I could speak honestly about the dating lifestyle with. Probably part of me thought that merely having that conversation made him not into me. Either way, my dad got his cancer diagnosis the week after that.

Joseph and I fell out of contact and I went on other dates. I almost slept with a guy named Andrew. He made me watch two horrible horror movies before trying to get me to spend the night. I regret going on that date but I’m so glad I didn’t sleep with him.

Joseph snapped me again after a little while and I asked if we could go on another date. We had said we would hang out on Sunday but he forgot, and offered to hang out with me that following Thursday. It was the best date I’d ever gone on. We talked so long at dinner that we almost missed the movie. I enjoyed the movie so much, and made a move in the theater. We made out in his truck afterwards and I asked if he’d let me stay over. We went to his place and had sex, after which he told me he wasn’t really looking for a girlfriend. That was a blow. I’ll never forget that feeling. I’d just given myself to a guy again and this time was instantly punished for it. At that point, I said fuck it and slept with the next three guys that I vibed with. Joseph and I were hanging out and having sex, but I never forgot that he’d said he didn’t want a girlfriend. So I continued seeing the other guys too. I looped in my friends at work. They all had their opinions and comments. I was just living it up, I told them, having my hot girl summer.

At the beginning of September, Joseph blindsided me by asking me to be his girlfriend. Of course, I said yes. He was clearly the favorite and everyone at work knew that too. It was too good an opportunity to pass up, despite how wildly unready I was. I was in no state of mind to be a girlfriend. So painfully unprepared, I slept with two more guys in that next week. Why did I sleep with them, when I knew Joseph was the one I wanted? There’s a million possible reasons. I didn’t trust Joseph with my feelings, and I wanted to hurt him before he hurt me. I was running on pure impulse. I didn’t want to cancel the plans I already had with the others in case something went wrong with my relationship Joseph. There’s no good answer. I cheated on him. TWICE. He found out that I’d seen someone else about two weeks later after we had sex on the day I got my IUD placed. I’d never had anyone yelling at me like he did that night. He called me a whore and made me feel disgusting for seeing other people while I was seeing him. And after going through my phone, he found out I went on a date after us becoming official. He pushed me out of the way, left my place after I chased him out, but we stayed together after that.

Every now and then he’d get angry about that. He found out about how I’d woken up naked on the couch after hanging out with a friend from high school. Then finally in December, before we were going to the Trail of Lights, he found out about the second date I went on. He really lost it then. He hit me for the first time.

We were already planning on taking a trip to Boston to spend Christmas with his family. He was so distraught over the idea of breaking up before this trip that instead he decided to relapse to cope with his emotions. So he was actively relapsing and physically abusing me when we went on this trip.”

He admitted one of those nights when he was really drunk that he’d slept with a few transgender women. I wanted to thank him for being vulnerable so I admitted that I slept with a guy in that first week we were dating and I went on two other dates.

It was supposed to be a really special time but it was completely overshadowed by the fact that I’d been hiding so many details and lying and gaslighting him over and over again. He’d be very vulnerable and honest with me about it and I’d still lie because I couldn’t afford to feel the way I felt before him and after Andrew. But the fact is, I never processed that breakup and all I was doing was hurting him and myself by letting that shit just sit and rot within me. I would tell him I knew this fact, but still kept lying. This was coupled by the fact that he was verbally, emotionally, and physically abusing me and I was traumatized, which made me want to come clean even less than I already did.

He went out with his friends in March and got drunk and high and ended up in a strip club. He had told me his battery was dying even though I knew it was a lie. He messaged me from his friends instagram telling me to come get him from the strip club. I’ve never been to a fucking strip club. We went in and he paid for me to get a dance and then for us to get a dance as a couple. He said he’d slept with two strippers and I got really uncomfortable and we left. That night he kept doing coke and went through my phone and found out about the other guy I slept with during the first week of our relationship. More abuse came from that.

He went to detox following that episode and decided that he really wanted to be with me and that we could work on this.

A week later at the beginning of April, shit blew up again after we went to the movies, but he got appendicitis and I had to take care of him.

A week after THAT, he started drinking again. His birthday was ruined because we were fighting. I came home after he’d kicked me out and really broke it down that I knew I needed to put in more work. He seemed to have a change of heart after that conversation and really tried to focus on getting better. We even got a dog.

A month later, he relapsed while on work trips and had a horrible episode at the beginning of May related to some texts I had deleted from my coworker. He started drinking that Sunday morning and continued into the evening. He told me to take the dog out and snuck out of the house to go get cocaine. I tracked his location going back and forth between strip clubs. I called him and he said he was dealing and wouldn’t be back until late. He came home at 11 and told me he loved me. He had blood on his shirt and told me he’d had a gun at his head twice that night.

A day or two after that, he said it’d probably be best for him to go back to rehab. I told him I would fully support that. His mom helped us out and I dropped him off that Wednesday. We wouldn’t be able to talk or text so we started writing letters. Since he decided to go in, he was really positive and has been that way even through the last month that he’s been home.

0 notes

liskantope · 1 year ago

Text

@togglesbloggle replied:

We definitely got shotgun-blasted with lots of Feelings About SCOTUS recently! Mostly I think I just 100% share your sense about the obvious politicization and transparent corruption of the institution itself- enough that it's really hard to say "eh, yeah, that seems like a complicated issue and I mostly agree with them." And it's terrible that you can't even really pretend there's a theory of jurisprudence or whatever to back it up, just factionalism.

Very much agreed, with the qualification that I could imagine things worse and even more partisan: now and again (I think on gerrymandering / voting rights stuff, and a few other things), they don't side with the current Republican party. They don't seem particularly determined to do Trump's bidding even though they mainly have Trump to thank for having become so conservative-skewed. But yes, you summed up by saying that the sum total of their opinions at this point reflects factionalism over some objective theory of jurisprudence.

I suppose now's as good a time as any to expand on my (far from a place of expertise or ideally educated) thoughts on the decisions that went down, mainly the LGBT-related one.

I've always found opposition to same-sex marriage (and other privileges) revolting on both an intellectual and a humanitarian level, but I have to admit that after the battle for marriage was won in the mid-2010's, I just couldn't get myself worked up at all about wedding cake companies that wouldn't bake cakes for same-sex couples (the immediate next gay rights issue placed in front of us). The recent SCOTUS case, as I understand it, is essentially the same kind of thing, except with a company that creates wedding websites instead. And not only do I not find myself able to get worked up about it, I don't see any particular reason to suppose that the decision is unjustified (although I would really have to research the legal arguments on either side to say that confidently and I don't have any background in constitutional law), and moreover, I have a really hard time seeing how it harms LGBT people in any substantial way.

There is a distinction that nobody on either side ever seems to acknowledge, which is between the following:

(1) a company refusing service to someone directly because of who they are, as in, they see a gay person walk through their door (I don't know how they'd know the sexual orientation of the potential customer, but maybe it's a tight-knit community or something or maybe the customer is really queer-presenting and they guess) and saying "We don't serve your kind here!"; versus

(2) a company refusing to create something that contradicts the owner's values (where the type of something they would be asked to create is different in a way they consider salient and which also happens to roughly align with a marginalized identity group).

Scenario (1) seems like it should be completely unacceptable under US law. But my understanding of the case is that it fits Scenario (2).

I say "roughly align" because of course one's sexual orientation isn't determined by who one eventually chooses to marry: a very queer-presenting bi person (or even mostly same-sex-attracted but heteroflexible person) could walk to order a website for their wedding to an opposite-sex partner. My understanding is that the company would be compelled to take such a person on as a client, and I feel that if they had the right to refuse such a person because of their identity then it would be a very different matter.

(Okay, maybe we could go down a rabbit hole where the company isn't required to take this person as a client because it's against their values to photograph very queer-looking people or people they've been told previously had same-sex partners. We're now talking about what I imagine to be a rare set of strict-commitment values here, because even your middle-of-the-road homophobic Christian is likely quite happy to see someone who previously "strayed the path" now making a life with an opposite-sex partner, and disapproving of their haircut or whatever would be a secondary concern, I would think?)

It seems to me, what should happen to companies who insist on restricting their output in accordance with homophobic values shouldn't be compelled by law to create things that go against their values (which will only feed a victim complex and incline them towards doubling down) but, rather, should suffer the consequences of it being public knowledge that they hold to these values, which means that (at least in most areas of the US in the 2020's) they lose a substantial amount of business. Except in the most conservative regions, I can only imagine it must be a net disadvantage to be on the record refusing to produce something for gay weddings that you produce for straight ones.

I don't really see how this creates a hardship for same-sex couples. Do they want to give their business to a company run by people who oppose their right to be married but are serving them only because forced to by law? Don't they, in 2023, in most parts of the country (even in 2015 when I first started hearing about this issue), during an age when geography matters much less than it used to (I guess maybe not with cakes but with websites and photos?) have tons of other options? Wouldn't they want to make a statement with their dollars about which kind of company to support? I would worry about this creating a hardship in, let's say, 1998, when I doubt wedding websites were really a thing but if you insert analogous service here I would guess it was actually probably hard to find a company willing to recognize same-sex relationships. I would be concerned if like 90% of all wedding cake/catering/photography/website companies adhered to homophobic values. But that's surely not the world we're in anymore, outside of a few very unfortunate geographic spots (and like I said, geography doesn't matter much anymore anyway)? I don't know, I've been criticized for underestimating the power that American religious conservatism still holds, and maybe I'm doing that here.

I can only imagine that the real reason this SCOTUS decision is being met with so much outrage from the gay community is somehow the principle of the thing, like it just feels like the Supreme Court (and by extension, the political establishment in general) is turning back against them, like they ruled this way as a way of giving a middle finger and saying "We don't care about respecting your identities as much as respecting someone else's right to believe hateful things". And I can be sympathetic with this feeling and moreover acknowledge that this might be on some level what is motivating some individuals on the (as I've said, rather horrifying) Supreme Court deep down. But I feel like this mentality feeds into the kind of "warrior philosophy" that I've been extremely leery of for at least a decade, where any move made that superficially reduces to a marginal blow against one's own side has to be combated out of a deeply obligatory moral principle, rather than be considered in terms of its actual concrete direct and second-order effects in contrast to alternatives.

As for one of the other big SCOTUS decisions (as if this post weren't spicy enough), I'm completely agnostic on how to judge the constitutionality of race-based admissions to public colleges and universities. But I've felt pretty adamant for a long time that among all the factors that create social inequalities and in the whole conversation surrounding social justice and related policies, the whole thing has been way, way too fixated on race (at the expense of a bunch of other things, particularly class), and so to a first approximation at least I on principle can't say I'm opposed to making it harder for universities to conform their admissions processes around racial quotas. I will not be happy if they additionally remove standardized test scores from applications (which I imagine a bunch of places will now, since they'll see it as one of the only anti-racist measures left available to them) and leave economic privilege and legacy shenanigans with a relatively outsize role, so there are a lot of wrinkles to how this plays out and whether or not it will be a good thing.

I'm in the weird position at the moment of being horrified in general by the current Supreme Court, perpetually angry at how its current make-up came about, and wanting badly to do something about our mechanism for getting and retaining its members, but not being at all sure that I oppose either of its decisions that came out today. (I really mean the "not being at all sure" in a pretty literal manner: I have a good bit more research I should do, especially on the refusal-of-service-to-LGBT decision, before feeling confident in my stances.)

#homophobia #same sex marriage #free speech -adjacent stuff #race issues #standardized tests

63 notes · View notes

artemismatchalatte · 2 years ago

Link

6 notes · View notes

chateautae · 4 years ago

Text

maybe i do | kth. I

➵ summary : maybe you love each other, maybe you don’t. when a deal between your fathers leaves you forcefully wedding kim taehyung, arguably seoul’s most powerful CEO, you’re prepared for a loveless marriage of eternal regret and unhappiness. but maybe, it doesn’t turn out that way after all.

↳ part of the high-class series!

➵ pairing : taehyung x reader

➵ genre : arranged marriage!au, ceo!tae, s2l!au, eventual smut, fluff, angst

➵ rating : 18+

➵ word count : 11k

➵ warnings : swearing, alcohol consumption, anxiety, lots of feels about marriage, a stupid ex (reader’s), mentions of bad sexual experiences with ex (there’s consent, just bad sex that makes the reader feel shitty), does ceo tae count as a warning?

➵ a/n: hello my first fic of my favourite trope arranged marriage, AND with kim taehyung?? yes pls !! this will be a series and I’ll be actively working on it so you don’t have to wait too long for chapters, i hope you can follow this series with me <33

chapter one : “my forever’s falling down”

prev. ↞ || ↠ next || masterlist

“Another one, Father? I thought I told you my secretary would be handling marriage profiles from now on. Stop concerning yourself with who I marry.”

“But I do, son. Trust me, I know this girl, she’s the daughter of a trusted friend and I think she’s a good match.”

“Father, everyone you choose for me I dislike and it’s distracting me from my work. I don’t need this right now.”

“She’s different, Taehyung. I personally know her and I’m certain you won’t say no.”

“And why is that?”

“There’s something about her you won’t refuse, son, you’ll notice it when you meet her.”

“I don’t want to meet her, Father. Like I said, I need to work.”

“I just knew you’d act this way. Want to know something, son? I’ve made her part of a business deal, you can’t back out of this.”

“What? You made her part of a business deal?! Why would you-”

“Because you wouldn’t have given her a chance otherwise, you haven’t been giving anyone a chance since I’ve been setting up potential partners for you and I’m sick of it. You said you were open to an arranged marriage, where’s that attitude now?”

“Because, Father, I have a company to run and that’s-”

“No. I will not allow you to reduce your life to just this company. There are far more enjoyable things in life than a business.”

“But Father-”

“No, Taehyung. One thing you need to learn is balance. If you don’t give anyone or anything a chance you will live a lonely life behind your desk. Even in this cutthroat world of business where you can lose money or be betrayed by anyone at any moment, the most painful thing to suffer is loneliness, and I won’t let you live in this world alone.”

“Dad-”

“You will meet this girl, Taehyung, end of discussion.”

“Dad! I told you I want nothing to do with your company, how could you let me get dragged into this?!”

“Y/N-ie, I know you value the life you have without any of my help, but let me help just this once, especially with finding a husband. I’m being offered the deal of a lifetime and I can’t refuse, he just happens to be part of it. I need this for the company, please.”

“But Dad, I don’t even know him. And if he’s the CEO of some rich company he’s probably an asshole, I’m not doing this.”

“Y/N-ie, trust me, I know his son. He’s a sincere, hard-working man, I promise.”

“Yeah, right. Even if that’s the case, I still don’t know him, let alone love him, Dad. How can you make me marry someone I don’t love?”

“Because you can learn to love him. There are no rules concerning the way two people should fall in love, love doesn’t always need to come first.”

“But Dad-”

“My daughter, I have not asked you for many things in my life, but this is one thing I must ask of you. Please, just meet him, don’t say no without even trying.”

“Dad, I don’t know-”

“Please, Y.N, do it for me. If not for the company or money, please do it for me.”

And here you were, fidgeting with the tips of your nails, tuning in and out of the present world and overthinking every aspect of your life that somehow lead you to this moment. Sitting on a Leather Italia couch in what was described to be Mr. Kim’s study; listening to your father’s incessant, albeit wholesome chatter next to you with your future in-laws across.

And next to them was their suave, unreadable son sitting in a relaxed manner, flipping his attention between your fathers’ conversation and anything else in the room.

You on the other hand, were utterly high strung due to the fact that your father failed to mention your future fiancé’s identity until 30 minutes before arriving here, having done a quick search in the car to unveil who he exactly was.

And that’s when it hit you. You weren’t marrying just anyone, you were getting married to Kim Taehyung. The infamous CEO of Kim Enterprises—Korea’s largest software development and manufacturing company, rivaling to be one of the largest in the world. He was part of Seoul’s most prestigious circle of businessmen, having made multiple Forbes international lists of Most Successful, Youngest, Richest, and is even one of Korea’s most eligible bachelors, not just Seoul.

If this wasn’t already taking you out, then it was definitely the fact that his photos through a measly Google search did him absolutely, utterly and completely no justice. They simply could never capture the truth of just how handsome Kim Taehyung was in real life. You couldn’t deny it, he wasn’t just good-looking, he was stunning, gorgeous, seemed as though God had created the universe, heaven and hell in 6 days and left the 7th just to create him.

He was like a work of art, worthy of being placed in the finest of museums and left untouched, unsodden by the ugliness of humanity. It made you feel extremely inferior to him in an instant. It was sickening, he was sickening, intoxicating, and quite frankly, intimidating.

It was his look, his undivided stare when he eventually settled his sight on you. It didn’t matter his dark hair that landed and perfectly curled above his eyes, the way he occasionally licked his plush lips or how his long, tall legs spread out before him, it was his look that made you want to turn tail and run.

It seemed to reach into your soul, peer straight through whatever façade, walls or defense mechanisms you could spend years building only to have his simple look tear it down in minutes. He was alluring, captivating, left you wanting to cower into whatever hole you could dig yourself into or discover all the secrets he hid behind those enchanting eyes.

Kim Taehyung was many things you couldn’t quite wrap your head around, though you assessed your priorities and decided they didn’t just include him, but mainly the significance of the current meeting taking place right now.

It wasn’t a mere one-time business deal to discuss a project, it was a meeting that entailed the partnership of both your family companies and would define the next however many years of your life. More specifically, spending it with the exact same man that looked at you without a single readable expression on his face.

You distracted yourself by trying to observe as many useless things as you could, flitting around the room many times before suddenly glancing at Taehyung’s index finger coming up to rest against his lips.

You zeroed your vision in more.

Is that a cut on his finger?

“Jae-in, of course! This is just as important to me as it is to you, your son is a remarkable CEO, and I’m sure he’ll make an amazing husband.”

“Aish, Namhyun, you flatter me too much. My son may be handsome, though your daughter is even more beautiful. I’m very sure she will make a wonderful wife.”

“Yes, Namhyun, your daughter is absolutely gorgeous! Just as gorgeous as her mother. I know she wasn’t able to make it, though may I ask where your wife is tonight?”

“Ah, unfortunately, she’s out of the country. Though I was hoping my presence would be enough to fill in for her, am I doing a bad job?”

Laughter erupted from the parents in the room, meanwhile, Taehyung couldn’t help but notice the way you immediately winced at the mention of your mother. Something he definitely wouldn’t miss with the way he found himself examining your every move.

It was habitual to him, something born out of his roots in business, only for the purpose of calculating and reading people like an open book.

He knew you’d also become victim to that habit, though oddly enough, he found himself quite interested in observing you. He had already figured you out; you hated business, there was a clear disconnection between yourself and your father’s company and you reeked of a sense of independence that funnily contradicted the antsy way you bounced your leg.

Your way of speech, however, mannerisms, gestures, your look; it was all professional enough you clearly have some sort of background in business. You seemed like an heiress to Taehyung, which you were, though you oddly had no interest in business?

All these details piqued his interest, curious of just who you exactly were, but he was mainly intrigued by the mysterious claim his father made upon mentioning you for the first time.

‘There’s something about her you won’t refuse.’

That had raked Taehyung’s brain consistently for the past hour now, crossing his legs loosely and his arms folded over his chest, contemplating over and over again as he looked at you, what’s so damn special about her?

‘You’ll notice it when you meet her,’ the words rang in his ears.

That was the driving force behind his calculation, observation, near inability to take his eyes off of you as he learned new things nearly every minute and led him closer to understanding his father.

He could tell you were an anxious person, though hid it behind a persona of false confidence. You had a tendency to stick close to your father despite observing you don’t rely on him for much of anything, even less your mother. The softness behind your every movement despite being from a business background where you should be harsh, rigid, rough around the edges, and yet you seemed entirely different.

Taehyung then realized how inherently dissimilar you were to many of the other women he met. They were all relatively of the same cut and look. Cold, sharp, cunning. All women of pure business; daughters, granddaughters or straight CEOs of wealthy companies, simply interested in marriage as a deal or an advantage rather than a commitment.

And there was absolutely nothing wrong with that. Taehyung was a man of business himself, married to his work, his home behind a desk and the company the only thought occupying his mind 24/7.

But with you, you were interesting, unlike the others and it made him curious.

Taehyung also couldn’t help but notice you were...pretty. You weren’t too overly sexy nor too innocent, you were pretty. There was an elegance to your looks, features like your hair and eyes complementing you as a whole, and he couldn’t miss that you felt oddly...warm.

Taehyung found himself beginning to understand his father’s original viewpoint, considering the possibility he could’ve been correct.

You just seemed different.

“Ah, that seems to be everything. Exact details about the wedding have already been put in place by us.”

“Yes! We’ve been waiting for our TaeTae to get married for so long. We’ve had plans for months now and we can finally move forward with them! You and Y/N don’t need to worry about anything!”

“Mom, did you really just call me that in front of my future fiancé?”

“Oh, let it go, son. It won't be long before she calls you that, too!”

Taehyung could only playfully roll his eyes at his overly excited mother, you scrunching your nose at the embarrassment.

“That’s incredibly generous of you, Mr. and Mrs. Kim, though my conscience is not one to let such things go. My family should contribute to the wedding in some way. Y/N and I would be happy to do so.”

“Why don’t we discuss that outside? I believe we should give the future couple some time alone, shall we?”

You and Taehyung exchanged a quick look before standing up and respectively addressing either’s parents, Taehyung shutting the door behind them once they exited and having turned to look at you, an awkward silence piercing the air.

There it was again, his look. It was irrefutably the one reason you avoided eye contact with him, you felt he would swallow you up if you shared even 5 seconds between each other.

“So...” Taehyung suddenly broke the ice, eyeing you.

“So...”

“Marriage, huh?”

“Yeah, marriage. Never done that one before.” If there wasn’t a time you vehemently hated yourself, then it was undoubtedly now. You internally facepalmed at your dumb comment, adding a laugh at the end in embarrassment only to look away.

“Uh..yeah.” Taehyung laughed awkwardly. “Me neither, if you didn’t already know.” He tucked his hands into his pockets and looked away, you fidgeting by the couches everyone previously occupied.

A beat of silence passed as you both exchanged looks between objects in the room and each other, either of you pursing your lips or blowing light raspberries to cut the awkwardness.

“I wanted to ask you something.”

“Hm?” You turned towards him, lips just a pout as your doe-eyes awaited him.

Taehyung didn’t miss that at all.

“Um, your mother. I apologize if this is intrusive of me, though I couldn’t help but notice I’ve never actually met her. May I ask where she is?”

You let out a dry chuckle before answering, another detail that didn’t slip Taehyung’s attention. “Trust me, Taehyung, one thing you’ll never have to worry about during this entire ordeal is my mother. She should be the last thing on your mind.” You assured him with what he could tell was your fakest smile, distracting him from the realization you’d said his name for the first time.

“Are you sure? I’ll be meeting her at the wedding so-”

“You won’t. I don’t think you will. Even if she does make it, it takes very little to impress her, just be yourself and she’ll love you.” You stated with a sense of finality, as though the topic should be dropped.

“Be myself? I’m one of the best businessmen in Korea. It’s my job to get people to like me, easy stuff.” He casually gloated.

“You don’t only have to be a businessman to do that,” you paused and looked at him, “you can just be Kim Taehyung, too.” You spoke nonchalantly, eyes lingering with his for longer than 5 seconds and he, in fact, had not swallowed you yet.

Taehyung instantly furrowed his eyebrows, taken aback as if your suggestion was something outlandish, absurd, maybe even offending.

Nobody has ever said such a thing to him, not throughout the entirety of his life.

Taehyung tried his best to recover, searching for another topic of conversation before he was cut off by your rather soft voice, he noticed.

“Oh, I wanted to give you this.” You stepped towards him, reaching into your purse and retrieving something Taehyung couldn’t quite see. You strided over and extended your hand, Taehyung finding himself even more confused.

“A bandage?”

“Mhm. For the cut on your finger. You should probably clean it and apply something before putting this on.” You stated nonchalantly once again, offering him a small smile whilst holding out the bandage.

“Uh...” Taehyung started but couldn’t complete his sentence, lost on how you even observed something as small as his cut and spoke of treating it like it was an actual injury.

After his struggle to form a sentence, you grew bold enough to gently remove his hand from his pocket and place the bandage in his palm, looking back up at him. You shared a momentary look with his chocolate eyes, instantly scrambling after realizing your hand was still in his.

He has really big hands.

“We should um...probably go.” You avoided his eyes, stepping aside quickly to pull the door open.

Taehyung’s mind felt displaced, eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the fact that someone had actually left him with nothing to say, an extremely rare occurrence in his book.

He was even more displaced looking at the measly wrapper in his hand, then at the cut on the side of his finger, playing through the last 5 minutes of what just happened.

He scoffed to himself.

‘There’s something about her you won’t refuse.’

It had been 3 weeks since that meeting, not having seen Taehyung once as you wasted your time enjoying single life luxuries before you prepared for one of marriage.

It still felt odd to say such a thing, marriage, because it didn’t even feel like one, or a real one at that. It was forced, fake, a pressured one out of convenience. It felt more like a deal, something Taehyung and yourself had to settle for in order to keep your parents’ minds at ease.

That thought racked your brain all those 3 weeks; Taehyung had to settle for you, he didn’t choose you, just as much as you settled for him and didn’t choose him either. You both had ultimately agreed to the marriage only in an effort to optimize your parents’ happiness, not your own.

You had no clue how he felt, a mystery as much as the Bermuda Triangle, knowing he most certainly had a grand pick of women to choose from and you were most definitely his worst option.

You knew you were suddenly dumped on him, leaving him no choice in the matter as you learned your marriage entailed a beneficial business deal between your fathers’ companies, and Taehyung couldn’t really refuse you with so much on the line.

You had already felt inferior to Taehyung since the moment you met him, though your insecurities seeped further into the crevices of your doubtful mind the more you thought over that sad fact, contemplating a married life with him. In your opinion you were pretty much undesirable to him, Taehyung probably kicking himself knowing he had to unwillingly call you his wife for the rest of his life.

You just knew you weren’t good enough for him, you would never measure up no matter how hard you’d try and that utterly terrified you. You were confident and independent when it came to yourself, though wedding a near perfect being regarded as one of Seoul’s finest in terms of a CEO and a man?

Confidence be damned, this dude was intimidating.

These were the feelings that swarmed your head as you sulked at your over-the-top engagement party, set up in a prestigious buildings’ gorgeous 37th floor riddled with baroque styling and embellishments, classical music gracing some of Seoul’s wealthiest patrons as their flutes clinked and snobby chatter filled the hall.

It was all extremely high-status, reeking of upper class supremacy and quite frankly, it made you want to throw up.

You distracted yourself by bringing any and all types of alcohol to your lips, trying to focus on anything but your daunting thoughts.

The entire night you hadn’t talked to Taehyung, both of you having been too occupied with the numerous amounts of people meeting and congratulating you. This became a genuine nuisance as you’d mentioned before, this marriage was of convenience, one that brought families and companies together merrily and constituted hundreds of people attending your engagement party you didn’t really know.

Your friends were excited, over-the-moon you bagged a man like Taehyung and chastised you for not having told them about your engagement to him earlier. Your relatives similarly scolded you, pinching your cheeks and praising Taehyung like he was a God while they scrunched their noses at you for concealing him.

How could I tell you when I didn’t even know myself?, you thought.

It was funny they praised your ‘choice’ of a fiancé, positive nobody was saying the same to Taehyung without at least lying. The public only knew of you as your father’s daughter, never having seen you due to your vehement absence from anything remotely related to his company, and much of the business world in general.

You weren’t part of that world, a world of greed and money-driven lunatics. It just wasn't you. It never suited you, left you with a bad taste in your mouth you constantly grimaced at and thought maybe you were the insane one for not understanding its flavour. As you grew older, however, you came to realize it simply wasn’t the path meant for you, someone who valued the independence and achievement of earning something for yourself, by yourself.

Ever since the inception of that principal, your young teenage self resolved you didn’t want to rely on your father’s wealth, especially not his influence or power to achieve your own place in life.

Your father had worked determinedly hard for years in order to stand as high he does now, warranting your acute admiration for your role model of a father, his now successful architecture business landing him a few buildings part of the Seoul skyline.

And after finally achieving his dream, it suddenly morphed into your own aspiration. His hard work drove you to want your own design part of Seoul’s breathtaking scenery as well, by means of your own effort, your own hard work. You didn’t want your father’s help. It felt wrong, like you were cheating if you used him to gain your place and so you condemned your life to one that separated yours and his.

So you lived, worked and earned money without any of his influence.

You worked for an average architecture company where you felt comfortable, happy that you were away from the suffocating high-status business of your family. And although your detachment left your identity a mystery to many, your situation on the other hand was an extremely infamous one.

‘The-runaway-heiress’, was your staple trademark. The judgmental comments about your choice of life and the insults it warranted were never-ending, subjected to that criticism all your life.

There was no doubt Taehyung was hearing all of that, people probably warning him to step out of the marriage before it was too late. You weren’t like Taehyung, who was perfect, desirable, someone everyone either wanted or wanted to be. It left you glad and quite frankly, proud to be wedding a man of such caliber and incredibility, though left you wondering why in God’s name he would ever agree to marry someone like you; average, average and well, average.

“That’s your 5th shot, Y/N, slow the fuck down.” Your best friend Hana’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts, snatching the shot glass from your grasp. “It wouldn’t be cool if you were trashed at your own party, dummy.”

Her sudden appearance brought a smile to your face. “I know, I just don’t feel well.” You sighed by the counter of the bar, seated atop a stool as you circled an empty shot glass mindlessly.

“I get you, there’s like, hundreds of people here and you’re probably hearing a lot of different shit.” Hana appealed to you, having read your emotions like an open book. “Speaking of people, I wanted to ask, what’s up with Taehyung and his stare?”

You stifled a snort, looking at Hana’s incredulous face. “It’s just a habit of his. He stares at everyone.”

“Okay... sure, but I didn’t mean everyone, I meant you.” Hana emphasized, comically pointing.

You furrowed your eyebrows at her, arm leaning against the bar’s counter as you questioned, “What do you mean?”

“He doesn’t really stop staring at you, which is kinda weird. Unless you like that, I don’t judge people’s kinks.” Hana mockingly held her hands up in surrender, gauging a reaction out of you.

You instantly grimaced, “It’s not a kink, Hana. Nice joke by the way, wanna sign up for SNL with that one?”

“I’m serious! I’ve been catching him just looking at you and I don’t know if it’s weird or hot.” Hana informed as you became more puzzled, her becoming oddly excited, “Awh, maybe he’s concerned with how much you keep drinking! That’s so romantic.” She chimed, looking off into the distance dreamily.

“Shut the fuck up, he wouldn’t do that.” You smacked her arm, snatching your shot glass back from her. “Besides, you’re one of the rare people who knows this marriage is fake, you know he doesn’t care.”

“Jheez, way to kill romance?” Hana rolled her eyes, smacking your arm in rebuttal before continuing. “I’m serious, though. This may be fake but he really does keep looking at you, and I don’t know what it means.” Hana speculated, contorting her lips as if in thought.

“It means nothing, Hana. You’re just seeing things.”

“Then why has he been staring at you depressed by the bar for the last half an hour?”

You nearly spit out your drink, “What?”

“Are you clueless or just dumb? He’s been talking to someone for 30 minutes but most of the time he’s been looking at you, and he still is, how haven’t you noticed?”

You creased your eyebrows in surprise as you slowly lowered your shot glass. You turned away from Hana to scan the small crowds of people mingling, eating, drinking in the hall.

You searched the room, drink still in hand until your eyes caught tall, dark and handsome in his finely pressed suit, casually standing with a drink in his hand by a table speaking to someone. You nearly jumped when your eyes locked with Taehyung’s, every cell in your body caught off guard.

What made your heart specifically race was the way he didn’t even look away from you. He held your gaze, casually conversing with the person in front of him, eyeing you until he finally cracked a small smirk before turning back to his companion.

Your eyebrows practically shot up to the sky.

“See, weird or hot? Am I even allowed to say hot?” Hana blurted as she reveled in your reaction. “And you really thought I was joking. You don’t believe anything I say, I could tell you the world’s ending and you wouldn’t believe me. I could tell you aliens finally invaded the planet and you wouldn’t believe me until the green motherfuckers knocked on your door themselves and-”

“Hana, shut the fuck up.” You cut her off abruptly and made a face at her. “Why did you even come here?”

“Grumpy, aren’t we?” She flashed you a sarcastic look before sighing. “Your dad wanted me to find you. You and Taehyung have to meet someone important, so you should stop drinking like an alcoholic, dumbass.” Hana informed hastily as she grabbed the shot glass from you and downed it herself.

“Your dad’s by the entrance, go before he gets mad!” She shooed you away, pushing you up until you whisper-yelled and smacked at her to let you go.

You began stepping towards the entrance, smoothing over your dress and this was the moment you realized you may have drank a little too much. You were quick to reprimand yourself, cursing your unprofessional behavior as your inner equilibrium became slightly woozy, senses drowning out a bit, every sound hazed over with a buzz in your veins.

You sucked in a breath to pull yourself together, knowing your dad valued this person enough you and Taehyung had to meet them together.

Taehyung.

You decided to glance in his direction, lips pursing seeing he wasn’t in his previous spot. You chose to ignore it, walking along until you felt a looming presence behind you, almost having time to acknowledge it before a hand suddenly touched the small of your back.

“Looking for me?”

You nearly squealed, jumping with a hand ready to punish before calming down at the sight of Taehyung, sighing with relief. “Jheez, could you use my name? I thought you were a stranger.”

“Well, hello to you too.” Taehyung quipped sarcastically. “And why would a stranger touch your back? Of course it’d be the only man in this room marrying you.” Taehyung narrowly eyed you, scrutinizing your reaction with his hand still pressed to you.

“People do a lot of whatever the hell they want, Taehyung.” You responded turning away from him, heels clacking as you continued to pace towards where your father stood. “W-why’d you do that, anyway?”

Taehyung furrowed his eyebrows. “Because we’re engaged?”

“It’s not real, though.”

“It’s as real as it gets.” Taehyung finalized, making it a statement to smile at everyone you passed, to which you realized just how many pairs of eyes glued themselves to you. “This may not feel like a real marriage to us, but to the rest of the world it is.”

He then suddenly leaned himself down to your height and lowered his tone, breath just ghosting your ear. “Y/N, we have to make this seem real, it’s the only way we’ll survive.” Taehyung was the closest he’s ever been to you, and the deep baritone of his voice as he called your name did absolutely nothing but manifest butterflies in your chest.

Why was his voice so deep?

You shook the thought out of your head, ultimately choosing not to say anything because he was in fact, correct. You grinned widely continuing to mask the truth of your arrangements, leaning into him more as you settled for his hand on your back.

You’d noticed it before, but his hand felt particularly large against you now that he was so close. You glanced at his other hand resting by his side, impressed by how masculine they appeared; long fingers with running veins and a roughness to them, sculpted so well you were sure they deserved to be referred to as art. It tickled your giddy side for a second when they seemed to perfectly contrast your more feminine and smaller hands.

It was kinda cute.

You neglected your thoughts once you neared your father, warm-heartedly conversing with a well-dressed man you just about recognized.

“Ah, there you both are!” Your father cheered, reaching out his arm so he could envelop you in a side-hug, returning Taehyung’s bow and addressment.

“Dad, I heard you wanted us to meet someone?” You perked up in a superficial tone, at least attempting to act as though everything was fine and dandy in your life; maybe owing it to the alcohol to endure all the falsehoods.

“Yes, Y/N-ie, I wanted you to meet Mr. Won. Chang-in, my lovely daughter and whom I guess you already know, her fiancé and CEO of Kim Enterprises, Kim Taehyung.” Your father proudly presented you both.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Won, Kim Taehyung.” Taehyung was the first to address the man, extending his hand and bowing as he greeted him. You were almost taken aback by how polite he could be, the way his charming smile graced his features and attractively displayed his perfect teeth. His manner of speech and etiquette were all refined with a high degree of professionalism as well, internally gawking at his duality.

Wasn’t he acting all entitled with you just now?

“Nice to meet you as well!” You collected yourself and cheered, a little baffled as to why Taehyung still rested his hand against your back. “I’m hoping my father has only said good things.” You earned a laugh from the group, Mr. Won responding by receiving your hand with a firm shake.

“Ah, Namhyun, you forgot to mention how beautiful your daughter has grown, and your future son-in-law has me jealous! What a handsome and accomplished young man, the perfect match, the two of them.” Mr. Won praised you both kindly.

You and Taehyung both smiled and thanked him humbly, feeling some heat collect in your cheeks upon Mr. Won’s words. You two? The perfect match? Unless he believes a rock and a Greek statue belong together, then he’s absolutely correct.

Other than that, you chest swarms with butterflies thinking you’re now referred to as ‘two’.

Taehyung for some odd reason encircles the curve of your waist suddenly, pulling you closer to him. You last minute sputter at the intimate action before leaning into him, one arm nervously encasing his torso as the other rests against his chest.

You feel him tense underneath you.

“Aish, you’re such a flatterer. Y/N-ie, do you remember Mr. Won? My friend from university? You haven’t seen him in a while.” Your father rested a hand on your shoulder, trying to jog your memory.

“Oh, you mean Mr. Won from SNU?” You suddenly remembered, looking to your father for confirmation.

“Yes, so you do remember!”

“Of course I do, how could I forget!” You smiled brightly and returned your gaze to the familiar man. “Mr. Won used to sneak me ice cream when you wouldn’t let me have any, Dad.” You scolded him with a playful jab to his arm, inviting more laughter. “I apologize for not recognizing you right away, it’s been a long time, Mr. Won, forgive me.” You solemnly apologized, Mr. Won giving you a look of understanding.

“Ah, forget it, Y/N. Don’t worry about it, although since it’s been a long time I hope you remember my son? He should be here somewhere..” Mr. Won trailed as his eyes fished over the grand hall, scanning around.

“Your son..” You repeated to yourself, realizing there was a familiar connection itching at your mind, he was your age actually-

Wait.

Oh God, not him.

Anything but him.

You felt raw panic seep into the spaces between your ribs, your chest filling with a constricting feeling of anxiety you couldn't shake off. Your heart picked up speed and the alcohol coursing through your veins didn’t help your judgement or memory at all, mind fogged over with the poison we dare call alcohol.

You felt stupid, so utterly stupid. How could you forget Mr. Won and who his Godforsaken son was?

You felt an anxiety attack riddling you, shifting your weight on your feet as you tried to bite back your uneven breathing. You just couldn’t see this man, especially in a situation where you were standing next to your husband-to-be.

Taehyung wasn’t so invested in the conversation before him, mindlessly nodding along before he felt you physically freeze next to him, his glance to the side confirming your pale look, watching as your panicked eyes faltered to the floor and revealed... fear?

He registered your odd shifting and your failed attempts at plastering a smile, confused if you knew this guy and if you did, why were you freaking out so much?

Were you in love with him or something?

The thought minutely bugged him until he watched you turn straight up uncomfortable, horrified when Mr. Won called out his son’s name.

“Kiseok-ah! Come here!”

You stopped breathing when you heard the name, eyes going wide as you avoided eye contact with anyone in the group, but caught Taehyung’s undivided attention. He grew curious when Kiseok sauntered over to the group, your hand on his chest suddenly squeezing his suit as the mysterious man greeted everyone respectfully.

Taehyung watched as his intrigued eyes locked on you, eyebrows perking up amusedly as his lips curved into a smile Taehyung honestly couldn’t admit to liking.

“Y/N? Wow, long time no see. It’s been what, a year?” The man Kiseok called out happily, like there was absolutely no problem occurring here but as Taehyung felt your hand clutch onto his suit, lips just about quivering before you forced a smile, he knew there was most certainly a problem.

“Yeah.” Your voice was weak, small, and Taehyung found himself wondering how a courageous person like you was all of a sudden cowering.

He’d heard it all night, all the accounts of your other life away from the business world. He wasn’t going to lie, he heard a multitude of opinions concerning you, many of which including either looking down on you or telling Taehyung there’s many other, more powerful women in business he could’ve been marrying instead.

But Taehyung didn’t care for their opinions, he found you the most powerful woman he could ever marry, and agreed to do so because of that very prospect. Sure, you were estranged from the business scene and practically abandoned any role you’d play in your father’s company in order to pursue your own personal aspirations, but if anything, Taehyung found it highly commendable.

Taehyung knew it took guts to do what you did, a bold and daring act that no other heir or future heir of a wealthy company could ever think of doing, including himself.

What he found to appreciate most was your unwillingness to give in, where you had to have heard all the back-handed and snobby comments, yet you still held your head up high, remained rooted and adamant in keeping your current way of life. It instantly signaled to him you were courageous, fearless, unable to be stopped in your tracks.

So when he watched you become smaller and smaller the more you stood in the vicinity of this Kiseok, he knew something was sincerely wrong.

“Ah yes, it’s been quite some time. Why don’t we step away from you three? You could do some catching up.” Your father urged as he motioned Mr. Won to step away with him. You lightly addressed them only to have your hands neglect Taehyung entirely and start fidgeting, attempting to calm your nerves as the alcohol inebriated your system and magnified your anxiety by tenfold.

“Ah, yes, Kim Taehyung, CEO of Kim Enterprises. I’ve been meaning to meet you.” Kiseok extended his hand as his voice irked you with every syllable, trying your best to seem like absolutely nothing was wrong.

Taehyung reached out his hand in response uneagerly, giving a small shake while wondering why you let him go. “That’s news to me, nice to meet you.” Taehyung responded, already feeling an intense aura of discomfort and tension between you both, sensing he was missing out on something that seemed 6 ft deep.

“Likewise. Y/N..” Kiseok suddenly turned towards you, making you wince. You painted on your smile as you lifted your vision. “Kiseok.”

“How’ve you been?”

“Better than ever. You?”

“Marvelous, just wondering what your life’s looked like since I haven’t been in it.”

“I believe I said better than ever, didn’t I?”

Kiseok scoffed unamused, “So a year, huh? In all that time you suddenly found yourself a fiancé, and Kim Taehyung at that?” Kiseok seemed to be making light-hearted conversation to anyone outside of your group, though you knew deep down the hostility behind his words.

“Yeah, I did. It just happened.” You shrugged, gaining the confidence to counter him. “And you? Plan on putting a ring on any of your girls? Maybe the 5th or 7th one you liked?” You sarcastically questioned, furrowing your brows in mock contemplation.

“No, you know I’ve always had my eye on one girl when it came to marriage.” Kiseok eyed you knowingly, purposefully, like he was trying to make it obvious.

You snorted and glared at him, “If I remember correctly, your attitude said otherwise.” hatred began boiling under your skin. You felt yourself growing angrier by the second, memories between you two coming back in flashes. You didn’t even realize you were shaking until Taehyung’s hand suddenly entangled with yours, pulling you towards him almost defensively.

You were surprised, looking at your connected hands and back up at Taehyung. He returned your look, peering down at you as he smiled warmly, affectionately.

“I’m sorry, Kisook? Was it? My future wife and I have plans for tonight. May you excuse us?” Taehyung didn’t even let Kiseok respond before he was pulling you away, in complete shock at his first lack of manners you’d ever seen. You were only left to watch Taehyung as he lead you along, gaining the timely opportunity to realize he was taller than Kiseok, and in fact significantly taller than you.

Taehyung was a large man in general, you noticed. His shoulders looked broad from behind, accentuated by the fit of his suit which also emphasized the expanse of his chest, tastefully exposing his sculpted neck. His legs were long, proportioned perfectly in accordance with the rest of his model-like figure, which was ideally fit and contained just the right amount of muscle.

Dear God, you took your time with this one.

You didn’t even realize Taehyung had pulled you into a secluded hallway or that you were ogling him when he suddenly stopped, turning in your direction and snapping you out of a near fever dream.

Yeah, alcohol was not a good idea tonight.

“Who the fuck was that?”

“What?”

“That douche, who was that?” Taehyung inquired slightly pissed, in need of the asshole’s identity after watching whatever shitshow he didn’t pay for.

“Nobody, Taehyung, he shouldn’t concern you.” You looked away from him, pouting in a way that made Taehyung momentarily notice the plush of your lips.

Again?, was all he could think, first, your mother, and now this guy? Just how many people did you have bad connections with and he needed to ignore?

Why were there so many intricate pieces to you?

“Are you kidding me? He concerns me now, your mother I can understand but this guy? Nothing to me. I could step on him.” Taehyung proclaimed confidently and stood up broader, conviction written all over his face.

You couldn’t help but giggle at his remark, resembling the thought you had earlier. “I was just thinking, you’re a lot taller than him.”

Taehyung couldn’t help but bite back a smile, watching you giggle like a shy high schooler and his ears gladly welcomed the soft sound. “Damn straight I am.” He adjusted the jacket of his suit suavely. It was then he remembered what his other hand was doing; still holding yours.

His eyes suddenly gleamed with mischief.

He squeezed your hand a little tighter and yanked you towards him, bodies just centimeters apart as you crashed into him, all up in each other’s personal space.

Your eyes widened in complete surprise.

“So you were thinking about me, huh?” Taehyung teased with a stupidly lowered tone, a smug grin decorating his face.

You ignored the electricity shooting through you, rolling your eyes and playfully sneering at him. “Shut up, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see you’re taller.” You forced space between you two and tried snatching your hand from him, but his grip transformed into an iron lock.

“Says the one who was thinking about me.”

“Taehyung, shut-” You almost huffed out but as soon as you stepped away, your copious consumption of alcohol suddenly attacked you all at once, vertigo making you lose your balance until Taehyung reached out to steady you.

“Jheez, did you have to drink tonight?” Taehyung chastised you as you fell into him, head spinning with disorientation and growing flimsier by the second. “You’re probably a lightweight at your size.”

“I am not a lightweight. You don’t even know how much I drank, it was a lot.” You bit back in rebuttal, hooking onto his taut forearms as he supported you.

“But I did see.” He voiced barely above a whisper, causing you to snap your vision up at him incredulously. “What?”

“Nothing, it shouldn’t concern you.” Taehyung mocked, though still tried to fix you onto your own footing.

You didn’t even get to scrutinize him further when you felt another round of dizziness plague you, balance faltering again. Taehyung huffed out and finally flanked you on his side, arm encasing your shoulders as he adjusted you. “Okay Miss I’m-Not-A-Lightweight, you should eat something.” He fit you beside him, beginning to walk you towards the main hall.

Taehyung in this moment didn’t understand what he was doing, utterly clueless as to what was fueling his actions. He was uncertain why he found himself.. caring? He didn’t even know you, yet he couldn’t help but become a little concerned when he watched you down drinks like it was New Year’s Eve.

How can all that alcohol fit into one tiny person?

What was he even thinking when he dragged you away from that Kisuk guy? Why did he feel like protecting you all of a sudden? A near sense of possessiveness? He wasn’t even your real husband.

It started giving Taehyung a headache. This was all strange, a foreign concept he wasn’t familiar with and he didn’t know if it was the result of his considerate personality or only manifested solely because of you.

The same way Taehyung dealt with his inner turmoil, you dealt with yours; you were always so adamant on independence though ironically found yourself leaning on Taehyung.

Oddly, you let him carefully guide you back into the hall with no protests.

It was the day of the wedding.

You wish you could recall your emotions throughout the day, certain there would be at least a sliver of a positive one. Though as you remained unmoving, nearly catatonic, unresponsive to your surroundings, you knew there wouldn’t be a single happy memory in the tsunami of sorrow that attacked you today.

Emotions of grief plagued consistently as you realized the loss of everything you valued most in your life. Your happiness, your freedom, your ability to choose. The stripping of all those bundled into an stifling wad in your chest that left you in a perpetual state of wanting to cry.

The sting in your heart when you realized your mother didn’t bother to come, the excruciating smile you forced onto your features when Taehyung’s mother delicately placed the veil atop your head, the secret tears you shed after adorning your body with a wedding dress you didn’t even choose; it all left you internalizing feelings of utter agony.

And none of it was your real choice.

Even the flowers at the wedding weren’t your favourite.

This day was horrifying. You couldn’t believe you prided yourself on your independence, refusing to give in despite numerous challenges and never taking a word of what anyone said to you. Even when someone begged you to change or come back to your old life, you always chose for yourself. You never allowed someone to push you around, seldom coerced into anything solely based on the wishes of another.

Yet here you were, standing just before the grand doors of a wedding you never asked for, having easily followed every word of your father’s and sacrificed your deepest principles in order to make him happy, to appease and live up to his expectations that weren’t your own.

It was utterly frightening, appalling. As if you had lost the one true commendable feature of the intricate character you were, suddenly lost the acclamation of others even if they didn’t know the true nature of your marriage.

But what disgusted you the most was truly, that you had lost respect for yourself.

These grim thoughts were the ones that attached themselves to you as you hesitantly hooked your arm with your father’s. You used every ounce of strength to not flee, to remain here, to still walk down that isle with your head held high like you always have despite abandoning every foundation of the character you’d spent years working on.

You didn’t care that your eyes watered, masking them with the facade of happy tears from the blushing bride. You didn’t care when your father looked incredibly concerned and wondered what was so wrong, you didn’t care how sorrowful you may have appeared to anyone at this ironically glamorous event.

Though what you did care for was that you couldn’t hold your head up as you walked down the isle, vision fixated on the ground as your tears betrayed you, spilling out at the traumatizing feeling of not being able to stand tall like you always did, something stripping you of your self-reassurance, your strength, your confidence.

It all spelled the requiem of your soul as you reached the end, dwelling in the impossibility this was happening to you until you felt the touch of Taehyung’s fingertips, guiding you up the stairs. It was then confirmed to you this was in fact real, part of your new reality you had no choice but to accept.

You suddenly felt eternal gratitude for the veil that now covered your face, hiding the tears you cried at mourning the loss of everything you worked for.

While the priest’s words were read, you didn’t exchange a single look with Taehyung, knowing you’d only want to evaporate into the air, to run away at light speed or have someone in a turn-of-events suddenly take your life, just so you didn't have to face the humility of giving up the life you’d spent blood, sweat and tears building if you looked him in the eye.

You felt the weight of your unknown future crushing you, pushing you towards the precipice as you gripped Taehyung’s hands harder to ground yourself.

You were to rely on Taehyung, to share a bond with him you had never spent time cultivating, expected to live a life next to him while never being able to truly understand him, know him, love him. The natural process of falling in love now tainted with the coercion of a pressurized marriage, losing the opportunity to achieve any true sense of love. You’d never experience finding the one anymore, your soulmate, the other end of your red string of fate.

That realization made your tears spill harder, disconnecting your hand from Taehyung’s to prevent your choked sobs becoming audible, holding your palm against your quivering lips.

To anyone beyond you and Taehyung, it would look as though you were crying tears of happiness, joyously weeping at your matrimony with the love of your life, though as Taehyung felt the shaking of your hands, your refusal to meet his gaze as you reluctantly walked down the isle, the agonizing pain he could see through the sheer of your veil, he knew you were far from happy.

He couldn’t help but purse his lips together tightly, knowing you were probably swallowing insurmountable torment down your throat because of this marriage, and tears pricked at his own eyes finding himself able to relate.

He wasn’t just upset for you or himself, it was the entire situation, quite frankly the fucking world. The fact that the universe planned this as your destiny, his destiny, that the happiness of your parents and two companies came at the expense of both yours and his.

He knew you didn’t hate him, that he wasn’t the reason just as much as you weren’t the reason either, it was the arbitrary nature of the arrangement. That whatever version of true love and happily ever after you and Taehyung had separately dreamed of, it could never come to life.

Even if the company meant everything to Taehyung, his CEO position more important than whatever position he’d play as some husband, seldom having time to consider love and relationships, he still harboured the same wants and desires any human would. A partner, a companion he truly loved with whom he’d start a family eventually, create a life for them and himself defined by love and comfort.

Though Taehyung only knew now you would both die with your decision-making capabilities robbed of you, bound to each other forcibly without the ardor of real love.

Taehyung’s every thought was proven correct when the two of you exchanged your vows in near strangled chokes and shaky tones, appearing as happy emotions to the guests of the wedding though only you two knowledgeable of each other’s suffering.

Your vision finally met Taehyung’s once you heard the rawness in his voice, your miserable emotions doubling when you registered he was just in the same pain as you. It was in that moment the priest’s words became audible and rang loud in both your ears, suddenly grounding you two to earth and reminding you of your reality.

“You may kiss the bride.”

Both of your eyes grievously locked for a moment of horrified realization; that you were seconds away from going through with this, throwing each other’s lives away for the utilitarian benefit, abandoning any sense of choice in whom you both would spend a lifetime with.

Taehyung swallowed thickly as he removed your veil, feeling his eyes fill with tears again when he laid them upon your utterly devastated, tear-stained face. You were using every nerve in your body to stop yourself from sobbing and caving into the ominous thought of fleeing the ceremony.

Taehyung’s sight wondered to your lips as they still quivered, nearly swollen red at the intensity in which you bit them, awaiting the kiss you were certain would be filled with frustration and hatred, hatred for the mud you were dragging him through, hatred for pressuring him into suddenly valuing something more than his work and his company, to suddenly become a husband to you.

Though as he watched the terror flashing through your eyes, tears watering your lash line, he knew he could never feel anything so ardently negative towards you, remembering exactly what he was stripping you of.

The life you built on your own, defying any and everyone’s expectations of yourself, cursing your heir status to hell, your strength, your independence. Now? Your life was bound to his, bound to one where you were obliged to sacrifice yourself for your father’s company and the upper class cesspool you’d spent so long trying to run away from.

So as Taehyung began closing the gap between you two, nearing your shaking figure, he resolved he wouldn’t make this hard. He would try, try to accept that his life now entailed you, would try to work towards the balance his father insisted he needed, try to understand that you were now part of his priorities and could never simply ignore you.

He glided his thumbs against the back of your hands that held his pacifyingly, leaning down until he was just inches from your lips as you squeezed your eyes shut. He unexpectedly spoke quietly, meaningfully, seconds away from sealing the deal of an uncertain future, though, remained certain of this one thing.

“I’ll take care of you, Y/N, I promise.” And he kissed you in a single breath, no haste, no pressure, only the gentle touch of his lips as they met yours, soft and light.

Maybe Taehyung didn’t know the exact feelings behind his promise, but he knew the meaning; that no matter the arrangement, the non-existent feelings, the loss of choice, he would at least take care of you like any husband would, a good husband.

He at least owed you that.

You were left shocked at the nature of his kiss, Taehyung’s warm lips connecting with yours tenderly. You were convinced the tears you saw in his eyes were enough to assert he hated this, frustrated he had to sell his soul, wishing to only rush the kiss so he could call it a day and ignore you for the rest of his life.

Though what you never expected was the promise he made, or the way he kissed you with such intimacy you found yourself melting into his touch, reciprocating. He kissed you like you were fragile, locking your lips in a way that solidified his promise, as if out of all the empty vows you spoke today, this was the one, true vow he would keep. His lips felt plush against yours, catching his mouth just a little more before the bittersweet disconnection.

You and Taehyung exchanged a poignant look, small smiles decorating both your faces with a mutual understanding swimming in your eyes as you gripped each other’s hands. You let his promise permeate the air between you two, finding solace in his words as the applause of everyone attending the ceremony filled the hall.

Maybe it was the warm way Taehyung always pressed his hand to the small of your back when you spoke to others the whole night, maybe the way he veered you away from excessive amounts of alcohol with a light-hearted scolding considering that last time you drank, or maybe even the way he gently held you during your first dance..

Maybe it was all these considerate, kinds act that made you view Taehyung in a less negative light and rather a favourable one, that maybe he wouldn’t be the asshole CEO you’d first accused him of being.

You would also be an idiot to not mention how completely and utterly handsome he was, looks carved by the Greeks themselves, quite possibly the hottest, most attractive man you’ve ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on.

And maybe all that accumulated into your assured opinion that when it came to consummating your marriage with Taehyung, you’d have no qualms or worries whatsoever. You would be absolutely willing, ready to take the night on and maybe even have some fun for yourself with whom you could tell was a really, really nice guy.

Though as Taehyung walked calmly in front of you towards your hotel suite, reaching into his suit pocket for the card key he’d retrieved at the front desk to swipe against the lock, your chest clogged with a crushing feeling of anxiety you couldn’t subdue.

These weren’t the same nerves of maybe being not pretty enough, body insecurities or fear of what to expect from Taehyung, no, these nerves came from the utter panic of having to experience sex with another man.

Especially since your last partner.

It always started with your permission, that wasn’t the issue, Though what left you afraid, so utterly frightened with the thought of spending a night with a man like this came from the treatment you received from that partner.

Safe to say, you weren’t treated kindly. Far from that, actually, you were treated as though you had no needs or were a means of simple use. Your last partner was the opposite of giving, he was selfish, self-absorbed and only concerned himself with his own pleasure, going on and on only until he was satisfied and neglected you in every sense of the word, sometimes even refusing to listen to you if you protested.

To make matters worse, he wasn’t faithful.

You knew he slept around, a lot, it was the number one reason you never agreed to actually date him, never make things official.

But the reason you would end up sleeping with him was because of the most perfectly imperfect concept among the human race; love. You believed every time with him was a new chance to make that love real, that it was the genuine manifestation of your feelings for one another, thinking maybe he wasn’t the asshole he always portrayed himself as and could man up enough to love you unconditionally.

And he completely reeled you in, made you fall in love too quickly and made you believe he was capable of love. This grew exponentially when you were often described as ‘the different one’, the one he always came back to, that you were special. You clung onto those words as much as you could, convinced each time you were in fact the one for him, that maybe one day, he’d wake up and abandon his fuckboy lifestyle and mature.

But everyday that went by, every promise that was never fulfilled, every word that wasn’t met with an action, and especially after every hook up that resulted in nothing new, you began to understand you were everyone’s favourite role in a Shakespearean play.

The fool.

You were a joke to believe anything he said, the most naive person on earth to think you were any different from the others, when every night simply ended in rough fucks, virtually no orgasm and miniscule aftercare.

It left you essentially scarred, traumatized that every man in the world was built like this. It didn’t help that whenever you look back, many of your ex partners were of the same cut, the same trope of assholes that don’t seem as bad but end up being exactly so.

It was what made you swallow thickly as Taehyung opened the door to the suite, holding it open as he moved aside to let you enter first. You walked forward and unintentionally brushed against him, realizing how much smaller you were in comparison to him all over again.

He towered over you, and it made you more nervous.

You looked up at him momentarily and quietly thanked him as you stepped inside, setting your sights on the large, king sized bed situated on one side of the room, a lounging area with couches to the other side which lead to a bathroom. Seoul’s breathtaking skyline was visible in the dark of the night through wall-to-ceiling windows opposite to you, covered by flowy, sheer curtains.

You took a deep breath, trying to remind yourself Taehyung was not the same. Not all men are the same, you can’t inflict the mistakes and wrongdoings of one man onto another, categorize them into one kind. You wanted to think this way, and you knew it was the humane way to think.

But as the memories of those heart-aching nights filled your head, the empty words, the lack of care or concern, the neglect, the feelings of pure abandonment and use only caused your heart to beat profusely in your chest, clutching onto the neckline of your dress to breathe.

What if Taehyung really was no different?

It then suddenly hit you you didn’t know him. All you knew of Taehyung was that he was a fiercely successful business man, sitting atop Seoul’s most prestigious with Godly looks and a stare that could kill a man. You remembered your initial feelings about him; his stare in fact intimidated you, quite frankly all of him intimidated you, he was the epitome of perfection and you were far from that very notion. It left you thinking you didn’t measure up, and that he could view you in a dissimilar light than you viewed him; an unfavorable one.

He could simply not want you, but is forced to.

You’d observed his kind behavior and actions over the odd two days you met him, though that was exactly the inculpatory factor; you had only met him twice. You didn’t know what he would be like alone, when it was just the two of you, when there weren’t eyes scrutinizing him and cameras snapping shots of his every move.

You didn’t know how he would be like in the bedroom, either.

Your mind raced as you conflicted with yourself, trying to understand that Taehyung could be different, though apprehensive with the miniscule knowledge you actually had of him.

You discerned after that last asshole of a partner you needed the love and care of a real partner, someone who would tend to your needs, adore you in the midst of their actions, be a giver and not just a receiver.

And you didn’t know if Taehyung would be that partner.

“Y/N...” Taehyung called out to you rather softly as he removed his suit jacket, the rustling of the cloth signaling he had indeed done so. His footsteps were hard to miss, the soles of his shoes sounding against the hardwood floor as he neared your lonesome figure standing in the middle of the room.

Your breathing quickened with nearly every step he took, attempting to resolve the civil war you were battling within. You were trying to convince yourself Taehyung would be a nice man, a nice husband; though couldn’t help but feel deflated by the fact it was all mainly coerced out of him.

Your thoughts overwhelmed you as Taehyung finally stood behind you, mere inches from your back as he watched you from behind, unbeknownst of any feelings or thoughts currently riddling you.

He hesitated, though gently placed his hand against your bare arm, the sudden warmth of his hand against your skin causing you to flinch. He peered down at your smaller self squarely focusing in front of you, anticipating your response. He grew slightly soft when you tentatively looked over your shoulders, clearly teary-eyed.

Taehyung couldn’t miss how scared you seemed, and he his heart inexplicably stung at the thought you were afraid of him.

“We don’t have to do this.” Taehyung’s voice was low and resembled warm honey, reverberating in a way that made you ease up.

You worked towards a stable voice. “W-we don’t?”

“No, we don’t” His voice held no disappointment, only the intention of seemingly wanting to assure you, firm and oddly comforting.

“I’m sorry, Taehyung. I’m really sorry.” It was hard to keep your tone leveled, clutching your hand over your mouth as you swallowed your emotions.

“Don’t be sorry, there’s nothing for you to apologize for.”

You strangely felt the desire to hold his hand that rested against you, though you ignored the urge and simply stepped out of his touch, clutching your chest tightly in an effort to cower away from him. But it was here you suddenly remembered that he kissed you, and the way he did so.

It made your cheeks fill with a rosy blush.

“Do you mean that?” You’d finally turned to meet his eyes, his face only visible by the moonlight illuminating the room. He seemed to have retracted his hand and stood with both tucked in his pockets, relaxed.

This became the first time you noticed just how ravishing he looked tonight.

His dark hair was slicked back loosely and left enough pieces to fall as a comma, graciously exposing his forehead, his Tom Ford suit attractively hugged his model-like body, watch and accessories accentuating his expensive look.

His features were casted over by soft lighting, somehow adding to his beauty as the glow made him appear... less intimidating, dare you say warm or inviting.

His expression was funnily enough, one that you could actually read. He held no contempt, no impatience or anger, only a hint of consideration as his calm eyes looked at you. His face may have been predominantly blank, void of a smile, though certainty held a form of reassurance.

“Of course I do, why would I do anything with an unwilling person?”

You scoffed lightly, “Not a lot of people would say that.” Your eyes faltered from Taehyung’s and clutched yourself tighter, expression completely telling of trauma.

Taehyung instantly picked up on it, eyebrows slightly furrowing at your words though softening once registering their weight. He felt an overwhelming sense of apology take him, thinking of his next sentence before his mind oddly flashed back to the night of the engagement party.

“Y/N, did Kiseok..?” Taehyung trailed hesitantly.

You winced at his line of thinking, “No, no...not what you’re thinking,” you immediately denied. “Just, shitty experiences.”

“Shitty, as in...?”

“As in only seeking self-satisfaction, neglect, lies, infidelity. Can we go to sleep?” You deflected with a heavy sigh and a hand at your temple, the day’s events catching up to you.

Taehyung nodded in agreement, “Yeah, sleep. We both need that.” His eyes then landed on the bed, registering even if it were large enough you two could sleep apart, he still opted for caution.

“Um.. you can take the bed, by the way. I’ll sleep on the couch-”

“No, don’t do that.” You replied quickly. “I can’t sleep on a king-sized bed all by myself, it’s huge.” You side-eyed the massive mattress and laughed a little, lightening the heavy aura casted over the room.

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to be uncomf-”

“Don’t worry, Taehyung. You don’t make me feel uncomfortable.” You smiled at him lightly and received a small one from him, both your eyes mirroring the same sense of understanding you exchanged at the altar.

“I’ll let you wash up first, your overnight bag should be in the bathroom closet.” Taehyung informed, pointing towards the direction of your things.

“Thank you.” You voiced with an amount of warmth that made Taehyung want to genuinely smile, though crushed the weird urge and nodded agreeably instead.

You began walking away from him until a nuisance suddenly occurred to you, cursing yourself as you came to a full stop. “Um, Taehyung.. I forgot but could you..?” You angled your back towards him to call out to the ribbons tying the back of your dress, knowing you would’ve taken 20 years just to untie your bodice yourself.

The fact that you weren’t looking directly at Taehyung made him feel relieved, glad he wouldn’t embarrass himself with the his eyes slightly widened. He was quick to reprimand himself, it’s just a woman’s dress, why the hell are you shocked?

Taehyung swallowed dryly before replying, “Uh, yeah I’ll--I’ll do that.” He walked towards you sparingly and positioned himself behind you.

He’d noticed it before, but you were relatively small compared to him in size and it continued to poke at his brain, maybe even momentarily think it was cute.

Cute? When have I ever found a girl cute?

Taehyung exhaled before his hands carefully made for the silk ribbons, his tentative fingers fiddling with the ties until he eventually began loosening each one. He started unlooping your bodice, breathing out considerably when each loop began exposing your back inch by inch.

Taehyung’s sweet, hot breath fanned your skin, tensing each time as your every nerve went haywire feeling just how close he was. His slender fingers brushed against your bare skin here and there, making heat collect in your face.

You grew even hotter when your kiss with him suddenly crept back into your mind, unknowing of the reason why excitement and electricity shot throughout your body because of it. The way his soft, full lips met yours, mouthed at you tastefully repeated in your head, making you extremely nervous at how much a measly kiss from him was occupying your mind; it was just a kiss.

Taehyung found himself tensing by the intimacy of the moment, remembering the way he so boldly kissed you. He found that he liked the plush of your lips, the way he had to bend down to your smaller height to lock lips; and it made him feel strange.

How the hell was he taking interest in something other than his work? No, this isn’t interest, Taehyung thought, and would spend however long denying it.

He’d finished the task throughout all his thinking, unrealizing of how proximal he was to you. He oddly hated that the moment was over, coming back down to Earth.

“There you go.” He cleared his voice and stepped away from you.

You held your bodice up against your chest, realizing Taehyung had a full-access view of your back and you grew 10x hotter. You gulped at the thought before hastily turning around to thank him, quickly disappearing into the bathroom for a moment of reprieve.

You shut the door and instantly breathed out a breath you didn’t remember holding, looking at your hot mess of a face in the mirror trying to cool down, reliving the last 10 minutes of what just happened.

You took a deep breath.

Maybe Taehyung is different after all.

prev. ↞ || ↠ next || masterlist

#thebtswritersclub #bangtanhq #kwritersworldnet #taehyung x reader #taehyung smut #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #kim taehyung x reader #bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #taehyung scenario #taehyung fanfiction #kim taehyung #taehyung arranged marriage au

5K notes · View notes

stormears · 2 years ago

Text

!!! IMPORTANT NEW ENTRY!!! SAME AUTHOR AS ALL OF THE ABOVE!!!

A fic to add to the list: truly epic Naruto fantasy au with like 15k+ chapters that updates once a year or less. Wild, lengthy sex scenes, flowery language, interesting ancient medieval-ish world where peple get treated in weird and cruel ways, some parts of it might make your eyes bug out. I LOVE it.

It's a NaruSasu story, about Sasuke who is given to Naruto, a powerful local lord in Suna (powerful bc he has Kyuubi) as a slave/gift by Itachi, though it's really to protect him from the Akatsuki. Naruto enslaves Sasuke by putting some sort of magic chain in his mind that forces Sasuke to obey him though Sasuke hates this and tries to find clever ways around it. When the Akatsuki do attack, Sasuke and Naruto are forced to retreat and gather allies to defeat them. Also, calling someone's name in Naruto's culture is sinful with very rare exceptions, so Sasuke and Naruto don't actually know each other's names.

SOME OF THE STUFF THAT MIGHT MAKE YOUR EYES BUG OUT:

-When gifting Naruto to Itachi, Naruto strips Sasuke bare and inspects his asshole. Itachi proudly proclaims that on top of being very powerful, his brother is also "unbreached"

-After slapping Sasuke around and nearly breaking his bones for mouthing off, Naruto forces him (and his alma, a special slave who he's raised from birth, Konohamaru) to accompany him to Gaara's place. Naruto bows to him and kisses his hand, and Gaara commands Naruto to have sex with him and be as rough as possible. They have a furniture-breaking battle in the bedroom which ends with Naruto choking Gaara and fucking him raw on the floor, while Sasuke and Konohamaru have to sit quietly and watch.

-Temari is also an important figure in Suna, her title is "the Chaste" and she can only keep her position by remaining virginal. After the Akatsuki attack, Temari begs Naruto to help Gaara and Naruto only agrees to do it if Temari lets him fuck her. She begrudgingly agrees and they fuck then and there. Temari likes it though. Sasuke, forced to watch, is disgusted, both with Naruto's manipulative demand and the concept of sex in general.

-Temari could lose her position of power BUT Konohamaru points out the only witnesses to her loss of virginity were himself and Sasuke, who are slaves. Gaara gasps with joy as he realizes that of course, a slave's testimony counts for nothing, so no one can say Temari is no longer chaste. So she keeps her job.

-Sasuke does get captured by the Akatsuki and used in some bijuu/jinchuuriki ritual, I forget. Konohamaru loves him like an adoring little brother and tracks Sasuke down. He finds Sasuke with all of his skin flayed off. Sasuke lives by invoking Susano, I think? Or by Naruto invoking Kyuubi? Or both.

-After leaving Sasuke with Naruto, Itachi goes to beg the Hyuuga clan for help in defeating the Akatsuki. He must pass a trial by walking naked through a desert where the clan's heavy chakra feels like stone pressing down on him. He eventually reaches the mystical clan's compound where he is received by lots of clan members but mainly Neji and Hinata (all of them also naked) who agree to help him because he's proved himself to be astronomically powerful. Hinata, who is a princess there, demands to marry him. Though she is already married to Neji. Their marriage just turns polygamous, because in the Hyuuga clan, anyone can marry anyone, literally NO restrictions on that at all. Same genders. Parent and child. Two cousins and a foreign stranger. And simply by Itachi saying yes, they are then married. No ceremony needed.

-OH THIS ONE SMALL THING THAT I CAN'T FORGET, GOD: There's a one-off scene where a jewel seller is kind of scamming customers and he sees Itachi walk into his shop and the narration goes batshit about how the man's "sweetmeats" are painfully erect and he's about to come in his pants just from LOOKING at Itachi. Itachi knows immediately that the man is a scammer and demands REAL jewels for his purchase (to gift to the Hyuugas) The man can't speak bc Itachi's chakra feels like it's choking him AND because he's so overcome with lust he's literally, ACTUALLY foaming at the mouth. But he still does as Itachi says.

I was focused on the "sweetmeats" part because the story actually calls male genitals "sweetmeats" a lot and it was a euphemism I'd never see before and it made me laugh a bit but more than that, it irritated/confused me. It's just kind of nasty.

-At one point, to flee some enemies, Konohamaru is teleported to some kind of naked witch cult ritual where Tsunade, Sakura and Ino are. Tsunade is killed by the bad guys that pursue Konohamaru there, but he escapes by teleporting again and takes Sakura and Ino with him. Konohamaru's sexuality is awakened by looking at naked Ino. He once wakes up Sasuke, unable to sleep, because he's so excited about the concept of "fucking", a word he just learned, and gives Sasuke a school presentation-esque speech on reasons why him fucking Ino is a good and worthwhile idea. Sasuke, also a virgin, is not impressed or interested.

This story, man...it has some crazy worldbuilding pieces but I do really love it.

I gobble up its updates on the rare occasion they appear. I think the last one was in 2020. I remember reading it in a bathtub around 1am, because I was so, so excited for it I didn't want to sleep, I wanted a hot, indulgent bath to enjoy it in immediately.

Today I was remembering a fanfiction I skimmed through a long, long time ago. It stood out to me for ages because the characters had twists in their personalities and appearances the likes of which I nave never seen again.

Sasuke: an Italian police officer, noted during the story to have gained some weight and enjoyed smoking on and off the job.

Ino: an extremely muscular and dark-skinned woman with tiny breasts who rarely speaks, from “the quiet corn-fed plains of Iowa” (paraphrasing but she was from Iowa and there was a corn metaphor that said “corn-fed”).

Sakura: a very, very short and slim young woman with a peppy, smiling personality. Described with many metaphors and parallels to looking like or being pixie. In a lesbian relationship with Ino.

I barely remember anything about he plot. Just these characters. I wouldn’t say I dislike them, but the differences in their character that the author did to make them like this just drop my jaw even now.

I remembered their name and found their profile today, but not the particular story I remembered. However, they are an extremely prolific writer and have a uniquely personal understanding of New York City, right down to what subways go where. I am legit tempted to read their 1902 New York AU about Neji and Itachi. NejiIta. Can you imagine? :l

#fanfiction #Naruto #NaruSasu

16 notes · View notes

atpaftmoom-bily · 3 years ago

Text

Thoughts about Erik, why Wilhelm wasn't allowed to come out, and more.

Be warned, this is long, confusing, and I'm not even sure if I made any valid points. But I had thoughts on Young Royals, with no one to talk to, so here you go.

I've seen various different takes on Erik and what people thought his reaction would have been if Willie had come out to him, most of them being positive, and some as well saying how sad it was that Willie never got to come out to his brother. I have a different take, but bear with me it's gonna take a second to get there.

Something that I found interesting in the first place was that when August found out it was Simon and not a girl, he just seemed shocked, but not in a homophobic way that I had kind of been expecting.

Additionally, let's take a look at the comments on the video, I've split them up into three different groups. General comments (disbelief, surprise, pity, etc.), comments sexualizing them, and negative comments. (I've translated these as well as I could as they were not all captioned, but if I've made a mistake feel free to let me know!)

General Comments "OMG Have you seen this?? The Prince is gay!!!!" "Who's the other guy?" "I'm dead" "Finally some news to put Sweden on the map!" "Poor boys, I feel sorry for them" "So clumsy to get caught on film" "I know where he lives!" "I think the video is fake" "Love for the boys"

Sexualizing Comments "Royal porn" "Sexy" "Love" "Sexiest video ever"

Negative Comments "How will the monarchy survive this?" "The end of the royal family, time for Sweden to become a republic!" "Never been ashamed about being Swedish until now" "Class traitor! Your mother cries for your sins"

Now, there are quite a few things I want to point out about Sweden that I feel should be taken into account here. Of course, we don't know the exact dates that the show took place, but we do know it is modern-day, and though it is a work of fiction, I am going to assume that anything that is currently true in Sweden at the moment, give or take a few years, would also be true in the Young Royals universe.

The first point I would like to make is that Sweden is one of the most LGBT-friendly countries, even being named the most friendly country in 2019. Looking back in history, 1944 was when Sweden decriminalized sexual relationships between consenting adults of the same sex, though it was still thought to be an illness. However, in 1979 it was no longer considered an illness. Fun unrelated fact, but Sweden was the first country to legalize gender change in 1979. (If you'd like to read more on LGBT rights in Sweden here are some resources. One. Two.) If Sweden is that progressive and is that LGBT-friendly, then I wondered what the problem was with Willie coming out, so I dug some more.

I'm American, so my understanding of many parts of the world is unfortunately skewed or incomplete, but I'm working on changing that. However, because of this, one thing that surprised me in my research was that the monarchy in Sweden is more of a unifying symbol than anything else. They have no political affinity or formal powers, but rather "the King’s duties are mainly of a ceremonial and representative nature." Of course in the case of Young Royals, the Queen inherited the throne, and Wilhelm would after her.

Something else I found interesting about the monarchy in Sweden is that the current Queen, Queen Silvia, did not come from a line of nobility, so when Queen Silvia and King Carl Gustaf married in 1976, it was highly unusual. (See more on the Swedish monarchy here.)

There is one last thing I want to point out about the current King and Queen. "In summer 2000, King Carl XVI Gustaf and Queen Silvia of Sweden made history when they ate under the rainbow flag at Djurgårdsterrassen, a Stockholm restaurant owned by gay owner Arto Winter. At that time, the decision was seen as controversial, and played a valuable role in moving conversations forward – while making the royals’ position abundantly clear." (Source)

Now, of course, I understand the difference between a fictional work and real-life situations, but at least in my opinion, these same ideals should carry through to the show that we see. If the King and Queen in real life have been openly supportive of the LGBT community since at least 2000, then although specifics might not be the same, some of those ideals should carry through to Young Royals, so what is the problem, right?

I'm not trying to erase the reality of homophobia altogether, because of course, that exists. We even see in the show through comments that there are some people who are worried about the state of the monarchy, are disgusted, or downright still think that not being straight is a sin, but we also see other comments as well. If Wilhelm were to come out, what would happen? Would there be some backlash? 100%. Would there be people who would support him? Also 100%. Would it make his life harder? Probably, but would he be happier? In my opinion, yes, but I guess that's a question that Wilhelm would have to gauge on his own.

Now I want to look deeper at the conversation that Wille has with his mother, the Queen, in the car on the way home so he can give a statement to the media. Below is an excerpt from their dialogue.

---

Wilhelm: Why can't I just have a relationship with him? And not say anything. Just live a normal life.

Queen: You're the crown prince. And that's a privilege, not a punishment.

Wilhelm: Yes, but I didn't ask for this!

Queen: Well, nobody has ever, ever asked for this! You are the only one who can take over the throne after Erik. Don't you understand that? You are so young. When you're young, love feels like the most important thing in the whole world. When I was your age, I too had an unfortunate romance. That was before I met your father. What I mean is, is it worth it? If you feel that the attention you've been getting so far is unacceptable, it's nothing compared to what you will endure for the rest of your life. We have a chance to cover this up, I urge you to take that chance. You may not get another."

---

Something I find interesting is how much Willie just wants to live a normal life, which I get. He is under so much pressure, from being a role model, his brother's death that he hasn't even had time to process, preparing to be king someday, and (kind of) being outed to the entire world, but at least his school. It's enough to make anyone want to live normally. I think the biggest thing we have to think about here is the Queen's question as well. Is it worth it? She is right of course, the attention he will get will always be there, but I do think that Willie would be able to find a way to be happy along with being King. It shouldn't have to be a case of either-or, and ultimately I don't think it is.

Now I'm going to move back to Erik, and really, this ties everything back to the start where I mentioned I had a different take on Erik's reaction to Willie being not straight. I think that Erik already knew. It would make sense for a variety of reasons. In the show, it is obvious that the two of them have a good relationship. We also hear Erik tell Willie, "you can trust him, he's like a brother," in episode one when speaking about August, showing that trust is something strong between them as brothers. I'm not exactly sure how old Wilhelm is meant to be in the show, but I estimate somewhere around sixteen. I would like to assume that sometime before attending Hillerska, he may have had a crush or felt some attraction to a guy. We also can see from their phone call in episode three, that they're not afraid to joke around with each other about such things, meaning that Erik would most likely be the first person that Willie would go to about such things.

Another thing that makes me believe Erik already knew has to do with people assuming that Simon is the first guy that Willie has liked. Now, I know things are not the same for everyone, but if we consider what happens when the video is posted, and Willie had to deny it is him, we can conclude that being anything other than straight in their family is not okay, simply because they are royals, and the media attention will be too much. Imagine you've known your whole life, you can't be something, the first instance you encounter that, you're probably not going to give in right away. I'm talking at least some minor internalized homophobia here or something.

So put that into the context of Simon and Willie's first kiss in episode two. Simon kisses Willie twice before Willie says "Well, I'm not... I'm not... Stop! Wait, wait, wait!" and immediately pulls Simon back towards him. Let's reflect back to episode one where Willie says "I’m not… I’m not allowed to speak about political issues." I'm not allowed. Of course, there are TONS of restrictions on what he can and can not do, kissing guys, probably being one of them. But if he was going to say I'm not gay or I'm not like that, why would he instantly pull him back in, contrasting what he was just going to say. In episode three, Willie does say, "I'm not like that," which makes sense. He's had time to think and isn't in the heat of the moment. What other explanation can he give? Sure, he could say he's not allowed to be like that but saying that would admit that he is. It's a circle, a very messy circle, but it is a... loop.

Going back to what I'm supposed to be talking about here, Erik. This isn't Willie's first rodeo, but Erik was there for the first. One last thing I want to talk about is the phone call that Erik and Willie have in episode three. Below is an excerpt from their dialogue.

---

Erik: You've met someone.

Wilhelm: I, uh... Yes, okay, but I... I don't think we're a couple or anything. I don't know what it is but can we just...

Erik: I get it. I get it. You don't have to tell me any... I don't wanna hear any details. Hey. Willie, enjoy yourself. Soon enough people will start having opinions and-

Wilhelm: They don't care about me. 'Cause you're the Crown Prince that they have opinions.

Erik: I don't get it. Why are you sitting in your room sulking when you have a crush to hang out with?

---

Firstly, Erik refers to Willie's crush as completely gender-neutral. "You've met someone" could very easily be "you've met a girl". The same goes for "you have a crush to hang out with". Very well could have been "you have a girl to hang out with". Sure, it could be completely coincidental, but we live in such a heteronormative society that it would just make sense for Erik to use female-gendered words. Unless, of course, he knew.

Secondly, "Hey. Willie, enjoy yourself. Soon enough people will start having opinions". This sounds very much to me like, enjoy your time while you can be yourself without backlash because soon you won't have that privacy. While I feel that, yes, the same may happen with anyone Willie was to date, him having a same-sex partner multiplies that, by a lot.

In conclusion, Erik knew Willie was not straight, Willie should come out, but when he is ready, and August is a really deep character that people don't give enough credit to. Gosh, I hope I covered everything, I probably forgot so much, but it's fine. Please let me know your thoughts if you've made it this far into the post.

One last thing. I hope you'll notice how in this post, I never referred specifically to Wilhelm's sexuality, and I did that for a reason. I often see gay used to label him, and though I am unsure if that's being used as an umbrella term or specifically as in he only likes men, I think it's really important to realize that they're specifically making him unlabeled. In this youtube video Edvin Ryding, the actor who plays Wilhelm, says "What we're trying to do... We're not labeling Wilhelm's sexuality. I think that's good because it's like, it portrays that it's okay that way too. You don't have to. You shouldn't have to come out. It should be allowed to be a bit fluid, a bit out there." I just think that it is important as it's another type of representation that is not seen often.

#young royals #prince wilhelm #simon eriksson #wilmon #simon x wilhelm #young royals netflix #wilhelm yr #simon yr #august yr #erik yr #netflix #edvin ryding #omar rudberg #malte gårdinger #ivar forsling

191 notes · View notes

sapphirelycoris · 3 years ago

Note

can i request bokuto and/or kuroo headcannon with a fem s/o who’s a famous actress? Like she’s been in really popular shows and movies and is known all around the world. They get a copy of a movie she’s in early and decide to watch it at home together. As the movie goes on, her and the male-lead have an explicit moment and they get jealous? Hope this isn’t too complicated!💗

Ship: Tetsurō Kuroo I Kōtarō Bokuto x fem!reader (She/her) !separately!

Warnings: Suggestive content and a lot of mentions of sex. I made Bokuto sad. Semi-nsfw.

Author's note: Some of these lines could be straight out of an otome game istg I've been on Love 365 too much and I'm slowly relapsing. So if some lines of dialogue seem cheesy, ya'll know why. Enjoy tho!

Kuroo & Bokuto w/famous actress S/O Part II

Kuroo & Bokuto with a famous actress S/O ft: Getting jealous

✰ 𝐾𝑢𝑟𝑜𝑜 ✰

When Kuroo tells his co-workers that you’re his girlfriend, they kind of just laugh at him.

They’re like, “Yeah. Keep dreaming.” You’re a world renown actress and your supposedly with a normal office worker? Yeah right.

And then they find out that you’re actually his partner. He will brag about you all day if you give him the chance.

“How did someone like her, end up with you?” People always ask him.

“I ask myself the same thing.”

You’d been away, filming a movie for a few weeks in a different country and that was the last scene.

Kuroo had been missing you like crazy but you updated him on everything.

Everything except… the sex scene.

When you received a copy of the movie early, Kuroo wanted to watch it immediately.

You wanted to put it off as long as you could but there you were, sitting on the couch under a blanket in front of the TV screen.

It was mainly an action movie with a romance on the side but then the main characters get married in the end and end up having sex on their honeymoon.

You’d done scenes like this before but that was pre-Kuroo and you didn’t care about them. It was loveless sex and you had no emotional attachments to your co-workers.

You assumed Kuroo knew that, he was a smart boy.

He should know it takes you awhile to be vulnerable with someone but there was also the possibility that he might've gotten mad for not turning down the role.

My girlfriend is such a badass. He sighed in delight as he watched you kill it during the fights.

When the last scene was on, you tried to escape by getting some food from the kitchen but Kuroo made you sit your ass down.

I should’ve gone to the bathroom instead… you groaned internally.

The guy pushed you down on the bed and started taking off his clothes and Kuroo’s eyes got big.

He knew what was coming and when the guy kissed you, his face instantly dropped. He had his arms crossed and you could see his fists clench.

You tried to avoid contact with him as much as possible but Kuroo kept looking between you and the screen.

”Did you enjoy it?” He asked.

”Filming the movie? Yeah the crew was very nice…“ You knew what he meant but it was just so awkward explaining that to him.

“I mean, did you enjoy the sex?”

”You’re insane. We barely even touched each other and-“

”Yes or no (Name)?”

“No. No I didn’t.“

Kuroo shrugged and acted nonchalantly.

“Are you jealous?” You slid up to his side and rested your chin on his shoulders.

”Kind of..." He admitted.

"You know I have no feelings for him. You're the only man I want. If you want, I'll stop doing those scenes. Can I make it up to you?"

He knew it was part of your job. But he mainly wanted a reason for you to offer sex to him. You were busy these past few months and there wasn't much time for that.

Now that he finally got you alone and at a good time, he really needed to release his pent up sexual frustration.

You were led into the bedroom and he trapped you underneath him.

"I'll make sure you enjoy tonight." Kuroo looked you in the eyes as he slid down your body.

✰ 𝐵𝑜𝑘𝑢𝑡𝑜 ✰

Now it was no surprise to the public when you announced your relationship with Boktuo.

You were known for thirsting over him and you finally got to go on a date with him.

He loves you. A lot. There's no doubt about that and you also feel the same about him.

So you got to watch an early copy of the newest movie you were starring in with a very well-known actor.

This guy was known for dating his co-stars and he was very handsome.

Of course, Bokuto knows you aren't going to cheat but he can't help that little voice in the back of his head saying, "You sure she wants to stay with you?"

Whenever filming is done you had interviews and all that to do.

And your poor boyfriend was feeling lonely.

It didn't help the growing worry of you leaving him for the other man. You had amazing on screen chemistry with him.

I just imagine Bokuto's hair deflating when he sees you getting along with him during interviews, sitting on the couch with a blanket wrapped around his head with a sad face.

Poor guy just gets so insecure. My mans needs some reassurance!

Anyways, when you finally get to spend time with him, you're at his side 24/7. This man begs you to come to his practices regardless if you're suppose to be there or not.

His team is thankful when he gets back to his usual bubbly self.

One day after practice, he's greeted by you holding a copy of your newest movie in hand.

"Date night?" You grinned, waving it around.

He hops in the shower and then comes back out and jumps into your lap. You don't know how long he was actually in there, or if he even got in at all.

The movie was a romance and you were in an arranged marriage, trying to get through life with a smile. Then somewhere along the way, you fell into an affair with your boss.

"You look so pretty in this scene." Bokuto complimented, pointing at the screen like a little boy at a toy commercial.

Bokuto's smile faltered towards the middle of the movie when the male lead unbuttoned your blouse.

The way your eyes looked up at his face so seductively, Bokuto wanted to throw up while admiring how sexy you looked.

"Hey (Name)! You still want me, right?" His pent up anxiety finally snapped and he grabbed your shoulders, shaking you back and forth.

"What?" You startled, "What on Earth do you mean by that?"

He pointed to the screen again when you were on top of the other actor and kissing his neck.

You started laughing and shaking your head. You paused the movie and held his face. "'Course I do. He's just a co-worker and friend. Nothing more. Do you know how long it took me to find the courage to ask you out?"

Bokuto pouted as if he didn't believe you.

"I'm in love with you, not him. Don't ever doubt that. You're sweet and lovable, and reliable. Everything he isn't."

Slowly, his pout turned into a cheesy grin. "Aw okay. I'm sorry for doubting you. I want to watch the rest of the movie. But can you skip through the sex?"

You happily obliged now that you got your Bokuto back.

Later that evening when you were coming to bed, instead of getting in on your side, you straddled his waist that barely held up his sweatpants.

"You up for a few rounds tonight?" You asked.

His face lit up as he rapidly nodded his head.

"By the time I'm done with you, you should know how much I appreciate my good boy." You leaned down and whispered in his ear, gliding your nails along his collarbone.

#kuroo x you #kuroo x reader #hq kuroo #kuroo hcs #kuroo tetsurō #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo imagine #kuroo smut #kuroo fluff #kuroo scenarios #bokuto #bokuto x reader #bokuto hcs #bokuto x you #bokuto Kōtarō #bokuto Kōtarō x reader #bokuto smut #bokuto fluff #bokuto imagine

161 notes · View notes

adezahnae · 4 years ago

Text

While We’re on a Little Trip (Part 2)

A/N: Here is Part 2 of While We’re on a Little Trip!! Enjoy😊❤️

Warnings: Smut, morning fuzzy sex, oral (male and female receiving), cursing, slight fighting, slut-shaming, Y/n snaps XD

Tagged People: @ahgasearmyfan @whoreforshuaaa

Your POV

Today is the day...I finally graduated from High School! I jumped out of bed and ran to the closet. I heard Jaehyun stir awake. “Princess?” He called in his morning voice. I bit my lip. “Good Morning!!” I replied in a sing-song voice. He chuckled. “I’m surprised you’re still able to walk.” He said. I smiled and went back to him, crawling on his lap. “Maybe it’s just you getting too old for me..” I said teasing him.

He quirked an eyebrow. “I’m getting old?” He repeated. I nodded my head biting my lip. He held onto my hips and pushed me down on the bed, crawling on top of me. “Jae! What are you doing?” I squealed. “You think Daddy’s getting old?” He asked kissing my neck. I giggled. “Noo! I apologize!” I said. “Daddy’s gonna make you pay for that...” He whispered in my ear. “But I have to get ready!” I whined. “It’s only 10:34, your graduation doesn’t start until 12.” He said.

“But I’ll take forever!” I tried to protest. “I can wait. You’re gonna pay.” He said with a teasing smile. He traveled down to in between my legs and spread them. He took of my underwear and threw them behind him. I giggled and then let out a moan as he began kissing on my nub. His tongue flicked it and I arched my back. “Daddy..mmm...” I moaned.

He slipped his tongue past my folds and made patterns. I felt him place two fingers inside. I gripped his hair. “Yesss!!! S-So good!!” I moaned. He then pulled away and turned me around my stomach. He gave me a smack on my butt making me jerk forward with a nasty smile. He lifted up my hips and pushed inside me. He started off at a hard pace. I gripped the sheets and yelled out in pleasure. “Is Daddy still old?” He asked me as he spanked me. I shook my head. “No! Daddy’s not old!” I said.

“Are you gonna take it back then?” He asked me. I nodded. “Uh Huh! Ohhhh my gosh I’m close!” I cried. He went faster and I released on him. He pulled out and kissed my back. He landed a hard smack that made a tear form in my eyes. He seen it and kissed my cheek. “Now apologize.” He said. “Sorry Daddy.” I said. He pulled me back up and kissed my lips. “Daddy forgives you.” He said. I smiled and pushed him against the pillows. “Can I finish you off Daddy?” I asked. He nodded. “Yes you may...” I took him inside of my mouth, still tasting myself on him.

He groaned and ran his fingers through my hair. I went faster and sucked harder. He threw his head back. “Good job Princess..” He whispered. I smiled and continued to give him head. He began to force down my head at a fast pace, while he’s groaning. “Right there Princess, don’t stop...” He whispered. I felt him getting bigger in my mouth, signaling that he’s close. Just as he was about to release, his phone rung. He groaned out in annoyance and grabbed his phone.

He rolled his eyes at the caller ID. “Who is it?” I asked. “Your mom.” He said. “She still has your number?” I asked sitting up. “During our divorce, I was told to still keep contact with her until you graduate from school. You can keep going she’s not important.” He explained. I gave him a funny face and shrugged my shoulders. Why would I pass up on giving this man head? “Hello?” He answered while leaning his head back, trying to keep in his moans.

“Hello Jae. What are you doing?” She asked. “I’m getting head, why?” He replied bluntly making me giggle. “You’re still fucking my daughter huh?” She sighed. “Yes now what is it that you want Mia?” He asked. “I just miss you but you’re still there fucking my daughter like the slut she is!” She yelled. I frowned at her words. His hand came to my cheek and caressed it. “It’s okay.” He mumbled. I smiled and kissed his hand, continuing to suck him off. He groaned out and placed a hand on my head.

“I hate you so much...” She said. “That makes two of us...fuck baby don’t stop, just like that.” He moaned. I heard my mom groaned out and hang up the phone. He hung up as well and threw his phone on the side table and leaned his head back. He finally released in my mouth and I swallow. I pulled away and looked up at him. He gave me a kiss on my forehead. “Thank you Princess..” He said. I nodded. “You’re welcome..” I said. “Go and get ready. We have to be there by 11:30.” He said. I nodded and went to go and get my dress and graduation gown from the closet.

I sat in my seat for the graduation, nervous as ever. It was a good type of nervous. I was one of the students who were next in line for my diploma. My group finally made it up stage and I seen that Jaehyun was in the crowd looking at me. “You’re beautiful.” He mouth to me. I smiled and nod slightly. “Miss. Jung Y/n.” The Principal called out. I heard everyone clap and cheered for me as I accepted my diploma. I seen that Jaehyun was recording me while he clapped.

I smiled and waved at the camera. He smiled back and waved at me. “She will now like to give a speech.” The principal said. I went up to the podium and cleared my throat. “To everyone here today, getting their diploma, I’d like to say that we made it! Through the struggles of meeting deadlines, the feeling of being at the bottom because we couldn’t get a grade up, and mainly, the feeling of just wanting to give up. We made it here, to this stage, with the help of ourselves, our parents, our mind, and our teachers. I know many of you know my dad, Mr. Jung. He also one of the number one teachers here. He helped me through it all, not because I’m his daughter but because he cares. He cared for all the students that he had taught and even the ones in the entire school. He wouldn’t of build the school if he didn’t care about the students. He gave me the power I need to push through it all, even when him and my mom we’re going through a divorce. He kept my head up. He did the same for all of us, we must do the same for him in the future. Why? Because we are the future. Class of 2020 is the future...Thank you all..”

I bowed to the crowd as the clapped and cheered loudly. I looked up at Jaehyun to see him with a smile on his face. I blew him a kiss and he blew one back. “I love you.” He mouthed. “I love you too!” I mouthed back. I took my way down the stairs and back to my seat.

“CONGRATULATIONS!” I heard friends, students, and my family yelled as I walked through the door of me and Jaehyun’s house. I gasped and covered my mouth. I squealed and hugged Jaehyun who was behind me. “Thank you soo much Daddy! Truly!” I cried. He hugged me back and comfort me. “It’s okay, Princess. You did it, not me.” He said. I lifted my head up and he wiped my tears. He kissed my forehead and smiled at me. “Go and get ready for your party!” He said. I ran up the stairs and went to our closet to pull out my dress. I got dressed in it and went back downstairs to enjoy my party. Everything was perfect, it was amazing. I was having such a good time with everyone and getting presents from everybody. I looked over to see my mom, storming in the door. She went straight to Jaehyun.

Jaehyun’s POV

I was enjoying everyone here. They were all having a good time with Y/n. Is it bad to say I want to marry her? She’s everything I could have asked for and she means everything to me. She looked so beautiful in her dress and it twinkled in the light, making her only stand out. I pulled out my phone to look at rings. I’m not gonna marry her just yet, just a promise ring to see how she will take it. As I was looking I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see that it was Mia.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I asked. “I want to talk to you! Like I said earlier!” She said. “Y/n has now graduated, we do not need to speak no more.” I said. “I’m taking my daughter back.” She said. I scoffed. “No the fuck you won’t.” I said. “Yes I am!” She yelled. “After you called her a slut earlier?” I asked. “You put that girl through so much shit Mia! Do you not get that or are you just dumb?” I exclaimed. “I’m taking my daughter from you. She’s mine NOT YOURS!” Mia yelled.

Everyone in the house stopped what they were doing and turned to us. “Mia, Y/n is mine. To be honest, she’s none of ours. She is turning 20 in a week!” I said. “How is she yours?! You were married into our family! She doesn’t have your blood!” She yelled. “Remember that paper you told me about? And how quick you signed it? Mia, you signed your rights away. She isn’t your daughter anymore.” I said. I heard Y/n gasp. “Y- You did what?” She whispered. I turned around to see tears welling up in her eyes.

“Y/n it’s alright. I’m here.” I comfort her. I couldn’t stand to see her broken like this. “Stop comforting that slut!” Mia yelled. “MIA! WATCH YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!” I yelled. “To everyone who doesn’t know, Jaehyun is fucking Y/n! Yep! She was just sucking his dick earlier when I called!” Mia said to everyone. “What?!” I heard Y/n’s grandmother say. “Yes this is their house! They live together as boyfriend and girlfriend! This is not a daughter and father relationship! Y/n is a slut! She’s been fucking him ever since me and Jae we’re first engaged!” Mia yelled out to everyone. “Just how you were messing around with Doyoung?” Y/n said pulling away from me. “YOU WRONG JAE BEFORE HE WRONGED YOU! AND NOW YOU’RE HERE TRYING TO TURN THE SHIT ON US! JAEHYUN TOLD ME THAT WHEN YOU WE’RE ON YOUR LITTLE TRIP, YOU WERE FUCKING YOUR BOSS, DOYOUNG! AND NOW HE’S LEFT YOU AND YOU’RE PREGNANT WITH HIS CHILD BY 8 MONTHS! YOU ARE THE SLUT! I’M SICK AND TIRED OF BITCHES LIKE YOU!” She yelled.

“Watch how you talk to me! I’m you-“ “WHAT MY MOTHER!? YOU AREN’T SHIT TO ME BUT A FUCKING ANNOYANCE!” Y/n yelled getting closer. Mia slapped Y/n across the face making everyone gasp. “Mia!” I yelled. Before I could do anything, Y/n slapped her back and punched her in the face making her fall to the floor. Mia gasped holding her cheek. Y/n was about hit her again until I pulled her back. “Stop it Y/n! She’s pregnant.” I said. She back away with a tear stained face. “Get out....GET OUT!” Y/n yelled while she held onto me and sobbed.

“Get your ass out of here and do not come back again..” I said. Mia got up and left the house. “I hate you all, fuck you all! I hope you know that this isn’t over Jae!” She yelled getting inside her car. Y/n then teared away from me and ran upstairs to our bedroom. I turned to everyone. “Everyone, please get your things and go. Don’t worry about cleaning up, I’ll do it all myself.” I said. People shook their heads.

“We don’t hate you if that’s what your thinking. Y/n is an adult and if she wants to be with you then so be it. You’re all she has. Go up to her and comfort her. We’ll clean up.” Her grandmother said. Many other people began to agree. I smiled. “Thank you all, you are the best..” I said. Her grandmother nodded and started to get things up.

I went upstairs to our bedroom and knocked on the door. “Baby?” I called. She turned around and ran to me and hugged me.

Your POV

She really did this....she did this...why? What did I do deserve this? I didn’t do anything to her, but she hurts me in this way? I heard a soft knock on the door. “Baby?” I heard Jaehyun called. I instantly turned around and ran to him. I hugged him while I cried. “Shhh...” He said while walking me into the room and closing the door with his foot. We sat on the bed and held each other. “What about everyone else? What about the party and-“ “Hush Princess..it’s alright.” He whispered while kissing the top of my head. “But everyone knows! What about!-“ He cut me off with a kiss to the lips. “They accept, Y/n...” He said with a smile. “What?!” I exclaimed. He nodded his head.

“They don’t care..” He said. I smiled and hugged him again. He placed his hand on my cheek but I winced away. “Oh I’m sorry...hold on.” He said. He got up and got a cool rag. He placed it on my cheek and kissed my forehead. “I know it hurts but it’ll go away soon.” He said. I looked in his eyes. “Jae...” I whispered. “Hm?” He replied. “I love you...so much...” I said. He smiled and kissed my lips again. I pulled him in closer and we began to make out.

He pulled away, stopping me from going any further. “There’s people down stairs.” He said. “And we have to get going soon.” He said taking the rag away and walking off to put it up. “W-Where are we going?” I asked. He chuckled. “Did you forget our trip to Hawaii that quick?” He asked, rephrasing my words from yesterday. I laughed and went to the closet. “Oh..the party had my mind all scrambled and I forgot.” I said. “It’s alright. Get your bags so we can get ready.” He said. I nodded. “I’ll go back down stairs to tell everyone that we’re le-“ “No.” I said cutting him off.

“No?” He repeated. “Can we go together?” I asked. He smiled and held out his hand. “Come on..” He said. I took his hand and walked back down the stairs. “Everyone, I’d like to let you know that me and Y/n are leaving in 10 minutes. We thank you all for coming and enjoying your time here.” Jaehyun said. He turned to me. “You want to say anything?” He asked. “Thank you all. And my apologies about my m- I mean Mia..she’s still not accepting the fact that she’s divorced with this man.” I said.

“You mean your man?” My grandmother said. “I-“ “We all know! It’s alright to say! We accept you all the way!” A student said. I smiled at their words. “T-Thank you! It means a lot..” I said. Jaehyun kissed my cheek and smiled at me. “Thank you! Come on let’s go and get everything in the car.” Jaehyun said. We went back to retrieve our bags. We got inside our car and waved my grandmother goodbye. She said that she would house sit for us.

#jaehyun smut #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun nct #jaehyun #nct smut #nct 127 smut #nct x reader #nct 127 #nct

166 notes · View notes

yandere-society · 4 years ago

Text

The Rabbit Hole

Summary: The Windy City in the mid-1920s is a spectacle of lights and sounds, roaring with the excitement of jazz music and swinging dance moves. Amid the brilliant stars of Chicago nightlife, there is a dark underground of secrets, mainly that being the mysterious Wonderland Ball you've been invited to participate in and be crowned the next "Alice". What you don't know is you may or may not be allowed to leave, per the Mad Hatter and a White Rabbit's desires. So, daring and brave as you are, you decide to take a journey down The Rabbit Hole and come face to face with high society - people - as you've never seen them before.

Genre: Yandere; Historical Fiction/ Fantasy Based In The 1920′s; Smut; Thriller; Alice in Wonderland Inspired

Warnings: Yandere themes, Mentions of drug/ alcohol use with/without consent, mentions of “gangsters”, light talks of selling your soul/ the devil/ religious “themes”?, sedative drugs used non-consensually, vivid dreams/nightmares, maybe light profanity? Smut: Non-protected sex (twice), creampies, oral sex (f and m receiving/giving), slight nipple play?, spanking, marking, bruising, slightly rough sex, use of a sex swing/ sex swing intercourse, f and m orgasms. I think that’s it.

Pairings: Jeon Jungkook (White Rabbit) x Reader (Alice) x Kim Seokjin (Mad Hatter), Side Pairing of Johnny (Jonathan) Suh from NCT x Reader, Johnny x Jung Jaehyun from NCT.

Author’s Notes: This is not going to be a historically accurate piece. As much as I am an advocate for research and learning about the times of old, I am only human and I am short on time researching in between my full time job. I have grown up and currently live in Chicago and I have never written a story about the Windy City before so here I am, writing to you about the wonderful city I call home. I am doing my best to stay true to my writing as well as make it as accurate as one can, but please forgive me if there are faults in this story!

We are not doing a collective Valentine’s Day event this year but the contents of this piece have been weighing heavily on my mind, so I asked if I could write this story for a little something-something. I hope you all enjoy it!

Written By: Admin 💖 @therealmintedmango

Also, who do you think the other boys from BTS are from Alice in Wonderland in this story? I’d love to know!

Stepping out of my very own vehicle my future husband’s family sent for me, I take in the sights and the sounds that Chicago provides this snowy afternoon.

People waltz around one another and mingle about, snow crunching under their feet. The faint sounds of jingle bells float down the streets in the chilly air, it smells of popcorn and roasted nuts as well as the sludge of gasoline tainting the snow. A cold breeze gliding across the buildings nearly knocks me off my feet as I look up to my new place of residence, a new high-rise Michigan Ave. The stars above my head seem to sparkle in the dark sky, or are those just the electric lights from the grand buildings surrounding me?

Curious, I think as I continue to have my sights set above the horizon. I’ve certainly strayed very far from the corn fields of back home. Inhaling the sharp, bitterly cold air around me, I feel a sense of dread almost wash over my senses. I knew what I was signing up for when I came here. Jonathan and I discussed it in great detail over the wire.

The reality of the situation is finally sinking into my layers of clothing.

Jonathan Suh, the grandson of Suh Realtor Industries Incorporated - which owns about one third of Chicago - has asked me to marry him. It was seemingly out of the blue too. I was going to spend the next years of my life trying to marry into the best livestock or vegetable farmer in town, not the filthy rich grandson in a large city. It felt like a dream when he called me and begged me to come as soon as possible. I suppose it pays off to be kind to everyone, especially when it felt like it was yesterday we were both in grammar school together.

I drink it all in, the busy sounds, the cold night air that leaves me feeling bitter and raw standing in the street while snow begins to descend from the blackened sky. It feels foreign to me even though it’s only about two hours away from the farm. The breeze blistering in from the west sends a chill up my spine.

This is a new beginning, I ponder to myself as I stretch upwards in the middle of the sidewalk. This is my chance at a better life, this is way better than being some poor, sad farm girl. That’s right! I’m going to be the wife of my childhood friend who just happened to be some rich playboy who has more money than he knows what to do with.

I’m going to be a Suh!

...Even if the whole arrangement is a sham...

“Miss, you are going to freeze to death outside!” Jonathan’s maids rush to usher me out of the cold quickly, but not before I accidentally bump into someone on the busy sidewalk.

“I beg you to pardon me,” I mumble as I set my sights over my shoulder on a man dressed in a long coat with hair as white as the snow currently blanketing the ground. “You’ll have to forgive me, I am just enraptured with how bright Chicago seems to shine at night.”

The man’s seemingly red eyes expand with my excitement, then soften. “No pardon to beg, Miss…?” He queries, a bloom of warmth spreading across his face.

“Suh.” I smile as the men shout from my car they have finished unpacking. “Well, I am the future Mrs. Jonathan Suh. For now I suppose I am still Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Strange, I didn’t think he… Well, never mind that now.” His eyes linger on mine. “Johnny’s got good taste.” I hear him mumble under his breath in a deep tone, slurring his words together in a string. “Well, I can’t wait to see more of you, future Mrs. Jonathan Suh.” He says as he swings his coat behind himself and takes off down the street, the crowd and the night dissolving him like a pill in warm water.

Curious and curiouser this night becomes, I think as the maids finally have enough of me standing about in the cold.

“Do you know who that was?” I ask the hoard of them, hoping someone has the answer to my bump in the night with a rather odd fellow. My heart is beating but I’m not sure what for. I know my place. I know why he called me… My fate was sealed as soon as I got the wire from my future husband.

The collective flock shake their heads and mutter polite “noes” as they lead me up grand staircases of marble and through dim corridors at this time of night, leaving my brain a drifting piece of snow in the blizzard that will surely accumulate outside overnight.

“Right this way.” A young redhead coos as she parades me up what must be my twentieth flight of stairs I’ve climbed this evening. “Master Suh will be so happy you are here at last!” They lead me into a beautiful room with the most lavish furniture I’ve ever seen in my life! Magazines and pictures certainly don’t bestow such fine items with quite the same honor as seeing such beauty in person.

“Madam Suh has a full schedule for you this weekend.” One of the elderly looking women dares to swoon as she says, “Wedding planning, I’m sure, no doubt.” My coat is taken from me and I am given house slippers to wear.

The flock - or really I should call them a herd of lemmings - all agree once more as a butler leads us through a hallway with objects of fine art, pottery, and paintings. Each item is so uniquely wonderful that it would make my brothers’ and sisters’ heads spin if they saw how perfect and polished everything is. How ornate and lavish! Am I to spend my life with fine, intricate pieces of art from all mediums? I wonder if Jonathan has created any of these himself? Would he allow me to paint? I wonder...

“Master Suh,” I inhale, realizing I am right at the threshold of a beautiful oak door. “Miss Y/N Y/L/N has arrived.” The butler announces.

My body feels all fuzzy and nervous for some reason. It’s been many years since I’ve seen my dear friend from when we were still learning how to hop on a bicycle in the country where his family had a small house and property that butted up against my family’s by the little lake in the middle of a corn field.

“Y/N!” A deep, refreshing voice purrs before he embraces me in a tight hug. “How was your ride? Did the car fair well, unlike the weather?” He chuckles as his tall frame dwarfs mine in comparison. The scent of him is most definitely cinnamon, scotch, and leather, which I’m not surprised. All fine things to smell of for certain.

The maids all giggle and mumble their approval and the butlers look away, anxious to gaze upon a woman in another man’s arms. I suppose his gesture of a greeting is very rude, but I don’t mind. Being smack-dab in the middle of my siblings, I feel like nothing phases me anymore, even the hug Jonathan wraps around me.

“Jonathan Suh,” I simper, pulling out of his embrace, “The ride was not too terrible, and my, how tall you’ve grown! And so dapper too.” I sigh earnestly. “It’s a pleasure to see you again.”

“I hope you say that every day you wake up and I am there beside you.” Jonathan’s brown eyes seem to daze in the glow from the lamp lights in the sitting parlor.

There’s nothing more I hate than an arrogant flirt, not to mention an arrogant flirt with money is all the more trouble. Is this really going to be the rest of my life? Living with Jonathan like this? So contrived and fake… it makes my insides twist.

“I am rather weary though from a day full of travels.” I pretend to yawn, shifting out of his arms bit by bit and heading toward the door. “May I have the delight in seeing you tomorrow?”

“Oh yes, you must be quite tired. I always get sleepy on car rides.’ Jonathan muses as he extends his hand to the door and the staff scramble into place. “Mr. and Mrs. Alan would you please escort Y/N to her room? I will be here but on the other end of the house until we are...you know-”

“Goodnight, Jonathan.” I say almost too quickly after that, leaving almost as swiftly as I’ve come.

Once my hair is down and I am dressed comfortably in my nightgown, I feel like I can take a deep breath again. It feels odd with my hair unpinned, sitting in a brand-new nightgown, overlooking the rocking waves of the lake and the snow that drifts down from the sky. Basking in the sill of my window from the beautiful lights and moonlight shining through my velvet curtains, I hope and pray that every night I spend in Chicago is not as forced and fake as this one has been.

I’m chasing something odd in my dream.

I move between pictures hanging on the walls, through the bellies of grandfather clocks, I emerge through the darkness every time, chasing a little white rabbit with a cottontail through or around objects of grand design. I have never had a dream that felt so vivid and real, like I am actually flying through my thoughts, time of the utmost essence for some unknown reason. I can’t seem to escape a dark feeling looming around me and I feel slightly frightened that I will not catch the little thing.

When I reach for the little dumpling covered in pretty white fur, it lurches forward, propelling my desire to catch up to the little beast.

I descend deeper and deeper, the spotlight in the darkness focused solely on the bunny ahead of me. I can’t reach him, I’m not fast enough, my feet do not carry me quick enough. I call to the animal but it doesn’t hear me, instead it flies between two large velvet curtains.

“Please!” I beg the animal as I pop through the hole in the curtains, shuffling through on my knees. “Where are you taking…me…” My question dies in my throat as I look up to find red eyes, his curly blonde hair waving at me from under a gold top hat, a gold mask from that of a masquerade celebration covering most of his face.

But, I know that soft smirk well now. I’ve replayed it several times already in my mind like the fool I am.

This is the man I met on the sidewalk. I gasp. But, why is he inhabiting my dream?

“Welcome to Wonderland, Alice.” A soft voice wafts from high above the two of us, making me shiver. “We’ve been waiting for you.”

Why am I frightened? Surely this is not a nightmare. I was only following a rabbit and now I am here with these two men.

Slowly, my eyes trail up the large mahogany platform, showcasing a very large, ornately plush gold and maroon seat which houses a man in an all green suit of the finest quality. He is also wearing a mask trimmed with greens and golds, his lush lips pinkened like he had just indulged in delicious raspberry jam pulled into a dark smirk. He sits with the side of his pale face in one of his hands, resting comfortably on the arm of the pretty chair. The man from the street sits on a swing that hangs high from the rafters, silently taking me in. An aura of power and class drips tastefully from every fiber of his being, weighing heavily upon me like he is a hammer and I am but a humble nail.

“Good job chasing rabbits.” The man’s smile further stretches, his amber eyes boring down upon me, making my skin want to jump from my skeleton. “The next step is to find The Rabbit Hole.”

My eyes fling open, a train's loud horn blaring in the distance, the golden morning haze filtering from the curtains across the room. I jolt upward in bed, cold sweat beading my body, tainting the beautiful nightgown the Suhs have given me. I throw the sheets off my bed and clutch my forehead, musing the words of the man in all green over and over to myself in a frenzy.

...What a dreadfully vivid dream...

I’ve been here for almost a week and I’ve lost count of the tea parties and luncheons I’ve attended with Mrs. Suh. The people and the houses and families they all belong to are getting lost to me in the wake of planning for a wedding. Though, I’m not sure how much I am actually planning. Merely pointing between two colors of table placemats and napkins or choosing between a flower or two.

Tonight though, it is another snowy evening on the lakeshore, we are attending a jazz concert at the Sunset Cafe to see a wonderful show performed by the talented Cab Calloway and Louis Armstrong who make the most wonderful music. I was practically buzzing when I heard the news that the Suhs would be taking me this evening. As always, Jonathan and his mother have only two options for me to wear this evening and I must make a choice between them. A silver, more A-lined gown that shows off more skin than one should in the winter with a mink-fur cowl or more fluttering, off the shoulder velvet cobalt-blue style of a ball gown with embroidered golden stars falling from the bust in waves of tulle.

Call me old fashioned, but I choose the one that makes me feel like a princess, not the one that makes me fit in. My thoughts wander between which Suh picked out which dress for me to wear and the dream of me chasing a white rabbit.

I can never seem to catch that rabbit nor have I seen the two men since my first dream. It relieved me, but it also scared me.

A shimmering laugh that is made of moonbeams and stars pulls me from my spell of thought that engrossed me.

The Suhs are dotting and cheerful people, always looking out for their only son in this cruel world. They are wonderful and powerful in their own ways, working the men and ladies in the sitting room of the theater with just a glance or smile of their lips. Mr. Suh smokes a cigar and smacks Jonathan on the back as they stand in the corner away from the ladies. Mrs. Suh includes me in all her conversations, never wanting me to feel lost or dissuaded from a million questions by another matriarch of a well-to-do family.

I can see why Jonathan doesn’t want to disappoint them or the good people of his clan’s name before or after himself.

The room is hazy from the smoky cigars that the men all drag on in between their elaborate conversations about President Coolidge and his beliefs while the women discuss lighter subjects such as traveling to Paris and Morocco as well as tennis. I find my thoughts up in the cloud of smoke that hangs in the room.

“Pardon me, ladies,” Jonathan places a hand gently upon my shoulder, “may I steal Y/N away for a few moments?”

“The concert will begin shortly, Johnny.” Mrs. Suh smiles, casting her charms to her son who smiles with reassurance to his dear mother.

“Don’t fret, mother,” Jonathan grins as she calls him his nickname, “I want to show her off to my college chums.”

Her eyes twinkle in delightful mischief as she swirls her glass of sweet liquor in her hand. “Just be sure to return her in one piece. Y/N has a long day ahead of her tomorrow.”

More wedding planning I’m not privy to I suppose? Such is my life now. High society is fun and all but the pressure is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before… No, my brain is captivated once more by the dark aura of the man from my dream, looming and lingering above me, teeth glimmering in the lim electric light of the room from my lucid dream. That was true, pure evil pressure I wish to never partake in the feeling of ever again.

Jonathan says nothing as he turns from her, ushering me away with his hand placed gently on my shoulder. We move silently and quickly through groups who mingle and giggle, alcohol strong in their glasses and upon their breath as we pass through the crowd of rich socialites.

We stop at one group of gentlemen, but I am only introduced to one handsome man named Jung Jaehyun who fondly shakes Jonathan’s hand and winks at me. What an odd fellow, I tell myself as we dive deeper and deeper into the crowd of people loitering in the fancy sitting room.

“I’m glad you wore the one I picked out.” Jonathan says so low that I may only be able to hear his words. Well, that answers that question then. “These men might eat you alive, so stay as sharp as a blade but soft as a lamb, understand me? They will not leave me be until I introduce you to them.”

“Are they your friends?” I query with a whisper as he pulls me to the edge of the room where young men have beautiful young ladies draped on their elbows.

I have never seen a lady look like they do, but I suppose it is fashionable and “kept up with the times”. I am not so appealing as these ladies are with their skin on display and their heels high, they attract my attention before the men who hold them up do. Their makeup is dark, yet shimmering in the soft glow from the electric lights from above. The fair ladies’ hair is cut so short, their sideways hats and feather headbands merely slip off their sleek and shiny hairstyles. I am in awe of the way they look and envy them for behaving and chatting so freely.

“Do not be scared, but they are budding gangsters who run speakeasies.” My eyes widen with his words, but I do what I am told. “Please do me another favor, Y/N, and become the most desirable woman here.” Jonathan whispers to me before we approach the hoard of people in front of me. “I will set you free from this cage as soon as I can.”

I can only nod as my demeanor switches like that of a light switch.

Walking up to these men and women I’ve never met, I invoke the acting spirit of Jane West for Jonathan. I demand my attention. I am the most beautiful creature in this sitting room, if not all of the world. I did not go to college but I am going to show you how well read and cultured I am. I am going to be a Suh and I command you all to bow down to me in this instant.

“Suh!” A tall man with coiffed, sandy blonde locks beams as he steps away from his fair darling on his arm tonight. “You dog! I didn’t think you’d grace us with your presence this evening!” They shake hands and laugh at nothing vigorously as I look between the two before the blonde catches my eye. They are pretty amber eyes that remain half-lidded and surely dazzle in the glow from chandeliers above. He’s not as tall as Jonathan, but he is handsome. “This must be-”

“Y/N Y/L/N.”

A voice from behind the blonde says clearly, setting to be free from the shadow of Jonathan’s friend.

It’s the white rabbit! I think as I try to hold myself together. He looks rather dapper in a white and gold waistcoat with tails, a top hat making him appear to be as formal as one can be. This is the gentleman I bumped into the streets, but I cannot press out of my head. I want to tell him to stay out of my dreams, but I fear he will think me mad if I declare such a bold thing without expressing my thoughts further.

“You know of my future bride, Jeon?” I feel the grip upon my shoulder tighten and breath being held from above me. Don’t fret, Jonathan, I would never tell anyone. I promise. Your secret is safe with me.

The friend with his hair as white as the fallen snow looks at me passively, eyes rimmed red like he can’t sleep a wink either. “I met her on the sidewalk, John, but we’ve never been properly introduced.” He bows and takes my blue-colored gloved hand in his white ones. He kisses the top of my hand and in this ball gown-like dress I am indeed fulfilling my fantasy of pretending to be a beautiful princess. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, future Mrs. Jonathan Suh.”

“Y/N,” Jonathan says, exhaling the concerned breath he’s been holding in, his grip returning to normal as well. “These are my friends from college: Mr. Kim Namjoon, whose family owns one third of the city like mine does, and Mr. Jeon Jungkook, who makes up the triangle of the most powerful families of Chicago.”

“At your service.” Jungkook says with a cheeky grin stretching across his face, kissing the top of my hand once more.

The way he looks up at me makes butterflies trapped in my body flutter and flounce about. But I cannot swoon or succumb to a young man so openly. Jonathan is counting on me.

“I’m delighted to meet Jonathan’s friends from his schooling.” I say in the same charming manner Mrs. Suh has produced all week.

“Forgive me for this is a bold question, future Mrs. Suh, but, will you be getting a gown made?” Namjoon asks me as he sips his scotch on the rocks.

“I think tomorrow I am going for a fitting, yes.” I nod my head, smiling just the right amount.

“Then it should be crafted by the finest in the Windy City, Kim’s Couture on the corner of Washington and LaSalle Street. Have you heard of the establishment before?” Namjoon queries.

“Indeed! I have!” I exclaim happily, my eyes wide as his stay half-lidded as though he is sleepy, though he smiles earnestly.

“Then I must insist you have a treasured wedding gown made by my seamstresses.” He hands me a white business card with only his name upon it. I stare at it until he taps it twice. “They will take excellent care of you, I promise.”

“Oh-ho!” A soft, almost melliferous voice rings out behind me. No... “This must be the infamous bride-to-be!” I know this voice! Fear rattles through me, making me tremble as I look over the shoulder Jonathan is not draped over to look at the mysterious voice. Time is slow as molasses as I face the man from my dream, clad all in a green waistcoat, vest, and top hat, wolfishly grinning at me.

“Ah, this is my eldest brother,” Namjoon muses as the electric lights flash, indicating the performance will begin soon, “Seokjin Kim.”

Kim Seokjin...

I feel like I know everything about this man yet nothing at all. He is the type of man who is a brilliant summer on the outside and stormy winter on the inside. The smile on his lips - that is the color of the inside of a cherry tart - is warm, yet cold all in the same breath. He appears to be a powerful man of high class, wrapped in an enigma of grace and power. But there is a scent of something malicious in the air as he closes the gap between us and gets down on his knee to kiss upon my hand.

I’m not sure what made me do it, but something comes over me, the flight or fight instinct animals possess lurches out of me in this moment.

“Why is a raven like a writing desk?” I ask, pulling my arm away from him.

Seokjin’s bright amber eyes slowly travel up my ball gown, disbelief and confusion colors his good looking features.

Mouths open in shock and my heart drops, but I feign a lie, turning out of Jonathan grasp, and quickly say, “Forgive me, for I feel faint.” I run to the bathroom in the hall as everyone piles into the main room of the Sunset Cafe, heart pounding in my chest and cheeks on fire.

I’m so sorry Jonathan, I did not mean to make a fool out of you. There is just something about the way Seokjin’s gaze is so feral that chills me to the bone.

A hand rests upon Jungkook’s shoulder while he continues to longingly gaze at the door as if he was willing me to come back with his mind. “Don’t worry, Jeon.” Seokjin purrs in his ear, amber gleam set upon the door. “She is the one who chases you every night, not the other way around.”

“I know, hyung.” Jungkook whispers as the brass begins to trumpet through the building. “When do we make our move?”

“Soon.” Seokjin chuckles darkly, guiding the younger of the boys to follow behind him. “Very soon we will have our glorious tea party.”

The subject of marriage has always been an odd one to me, I think to myself as maids and fashion consultants from the Kim’s dress boutique flutter and coo around me.

My parents married but it was never for love. I knew that, my siblings and myself knew that, yet they both loved us all the same. My mother and father married as more of a “good match on paper” sort of situation, than they were truly, madly in love. Still, they never fought, my father never hit my mother, never drank himself silly, never talked to another woman. My mother upheld the same standard and raised us all with love in her hardworking heart. I knew she was aware that I haven’t spoken to Jonathan since we were young children and that I would soon be in the same boat if I accepted his offer.

“A lifetime of money doesn’t equal happiness.” She told me. “You should marry for love, not for any green or gold.”

I agree. I know this full well. I’m not one to be stingy or greedy by any means. I don’t want to be an actress in a picture show or model for a beautiful Channel garment. And though I do want love in my life, I want a secure future. I am the middle child of middle-class farmers. The best match I could have made besides this one was with a cattle farmer or a man who works in the stockyards on the south side of Chicago.

It’s selfish for me to do this not only for myself but to my mother as well.

But, I am here and like my family, I will be fiercely loyal to the man I will call my husband. If not, call me a bold-faced liar and take me and my words to the grave.

Jonathan Suh is not a bad man for who he prefers in the sheets. I know that and have never felt such a way to treat someone less of me if they do prefer the company of one sex over another. I will not break the promise I’ve made to him, but I cannot help but feel like a songbird trapped in a tight, metal cage for the decision I’ve made to help him.

Due to the poor weather Chicago has currently come down with, the wedding has been postponed until further notice.

When I wired my family to tell them the news, my mother answered. I was a bit more than surprised that she almost sounded relieved when I told her the news. I promised I would wire soon and my younger sisters begged me to take them to the city to go shopping at Marshall Fields. My father sounded passive at first when the telephone wire was transferred to him by my youngest brother after he told me the family cat, Cheshire, had gone missing.

Truth be told, I am also more than happy to exhale a breath and not worry about someone questioning me about my upbringing. Or having Mrs. Suh and the don of high-class ladies and waist-coated men galloping around every breath I take.

I can finally relax, I think as I pull out a book in the study as Jonathan reads the Chicago Tribune on the couch across the way from me. We get along well, I realize. Silence suits us both. No tricks, not faking our way through hordes of important people. We have to conserve and save our energy for when we face the people mercilessly wanting to know everything and anything about us, good ole’ Jonathan and I...

No, not Jonathan anymore… I am to be his wife, and he...my…

I peer at him from over my book on flowers, losing interest in the pages.

Can I really pretend we are to be an item forever? Will one of us crack or slip up? It seems like we are stuck in a circle now, both of us floating in a pool of choices we will surely drown in.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Someone knocks at the door, plucking me from my fever of thoughts. I fully peer over the pages in my hands, pretending like I was in fact engrossed in the origin story of an author I enjoyed as a girl.

“Enter.” Jonathan says without skipping a beat, not looking up from his black and white ink. His eyes scan the pages, following the drumming beat of the grandfather clock next to the roaring fireplace. But, now that I study him closer, I’m unsure if he was actually reading or just musing to himself like I was moments ago.

“The post, sir.” Butler James reports as he opens the door, my handmaiden Emily gliding up to us with a silver plate in her hands.

“Thank you, Emily.” Jonathan gives her a half-smile as he takes the single envelope off the tray, slicing it open with trepidation.

I look at the blood-red colored wax seal as he flips the paper, revealing a knight chess piece glaring upside down at me.

Jonathan scans the letter passively at first, his orbs lazily scanning the pages, then suddenly his eyes ignite with rage behind them. “No.” He says softly, red flushing to his handsome face. He rips the paper up into shreds then, aggression and hatred oozing from every pore for some unknown reason. He gets up as he throws the scraps in the fire with vigor as butler James, Emily, and I all stare at him like he’s grown a second head. “Don’t you dare go.” He warns me, irises blaring with unmeasurable loathing. “Those people are dangerous.” Jonathan practically snarls as he exits the room in a fit of rage, stomping down the hall as we look on stunned and slack-jawed at what had just happened.

From what I can tell, Jonathan isn’t one to get upset easily or lash out so that letter must have set him off. But what could it have been?

It really has sparked my curiosity, that’s for certain.

Where wasn’t I supposed to go and who was so dangerous?

I got the answer the next day as I read a book about traveling the jungles of South America.

“Miss!” My handmaiden whispers like a hiss as she enters the study. “Miss!”

“Yes, Emily?” I smile, putting my book down as she flutters to my side in a nervous frenzy. “What is the matter?”

“I snagged this from the post, miss.” She hands you the letter you saw the previous day with Jonathan, the one that he got enraged over. “Please open it quickly, miss, before the butler spots it! They want us to destroy anything with this seal on it!”

I do as I am told, opening up the letter addressed to both Jonathan and myself with the odd wax seal to find an invitation inside.

You Are Cordially Invited To Participate In:

THE WONDERLAND BALL

A Masquerade Party To Determine The Next “Alice”

For Directions Follow Us Down The Rabbit Hole

Knock Thrice For The Door Mouse To Let You Inside

Cheers,

The ‘Mad Hatter’ & Company

“How curious...” I muse as my eyes trail over the letter over and over, wondering what has Jonathan all in a panicked rage. “Well, I don’t even know where “The Rabbit Hole” is so I shan’t be going.”

“Tis’ a speakeasy, Miss.” Emily says her eyes wide as she reads the paper with you. “They say it’s the most fun one in all of downtown!” She giggles. “Shall I fetch you a gown for the ball?”

“No.” I shake my head with a small smile, hanging her back the letter. “If Jonathan said he doesn’t want me to go, I won’t.” I pick up my book as she slightly deflates, wanting to paint me up for the festivities I was invited to. “Please burn this now, Emily, so you don’t get in trouble.”

“Right away, Miss.” Emily bows a little before she heads out of the room, leaving me to daydream in the middle of the study in peace.

“How long must we wait?” Jungkook pesters Seokjin tirelessly who looks down from his wooden pedestal in the back room of the very peculiar club. “I am afraid a letter and her dreams are not going to cut it.” Jungkook snorts, frustration flashing in his red eyes.

“Mm, yes…” Seokjin rubs his chin with his white gloved hand, “Johnny boy has been hiding our little Alice away from our prying eyes, hasn’t he?”

“Yes!” Jungkook stomps his foot like that of a child, fists balled into tight fists at his sides. “And I was promised a maiden for all the hard work I’ve done for you!”

Seokjin laughs darkly then, the sound echoing off the walls of his private chambers. “Jungkook, I’m not sure if you understand that poisoning people and taking out a few smaller families in our beloved city is considered hard work.” He stops then, Seokjin’s usually light voice dripping with malice when he says, “But, I suppose this is one way to end the Suhs and get the last jewel on the crown you are desiring in your attempts to rule the city.”

“Is everything in place for the ball?” Jungkook grits his teeth as he stares up into the man who could end him in one go, but is choosing to help the young gangster. “Your magic won’t fail us now?”

Seokjin winks at him, spending him a flying kiss as he says, “It's going to be dreadfully delightful.” Ending the Suhs, managing to take out some more people in big crime families in Chicago, and adding one more perfect woman to his growing collection of pawns.

Sure, he was mad and about to destroy several lives in the process, but hell if he wasn’t half brilliant and good looking while doing so.

“Mr. Jeon!” I gasp as I peer at the man at my penthouse doorstep, covered in white flakes of heavy, wet snow sticking to his black trench coat and bowler hat. Everyone, even most of the maids were out this afternoon which is why I find myself in front of the door to the penthouse.

“Good evening, Y/L/N.” Jeon Jungkook smiles as he looks down at me earnestly. “Is your future husband not at home?” He whispers as he looks around the empty foyer, red-rimmed eyes glancing over the dim electric lights in the hallway.

I flush. My mind was hazy remembering my kiss with him and the other man that is never far away, Kim Seokjin, from the depths of my dreams. My dreams need to leave me be or I may turn into a codfish with the way they keep my head spinning. They haunt me so, the way my brain demands my nightmares to be replayed over and over like this.

“I’m afraid not, he said he’d be out for the night, taking care of something important at the office.” I say with a fake sigh, shaking my head. Truthfully, he’s been acting very strange lately and I can't quite put my finger on the reason for his odd behavior. Ever since he got that letter… Come to think of it, I haven’t seen any post since that strange night. I’ll ask Emily about it in the morning.

“I see.” Jungkook says softly. The grandfather clock chimes from the sitting room and I am suddenly aware of what time it is. I’m severely underdressed in my baby blue lounge attire, completely ill-prepared for meeting company. Books about faraway lands with princes and kings were the only thing occupying my time this evening and I’m embarrassed to even think that. “In that case, your outfit will just have to do, I suppose…”

Jungkook suddenly steps closer to me in one long stride, closing the gap between me and him. My heart skips a beat, his pupils dilate, my words run dry as he snakes one arm around my back, the other holding my chin with his thumb and forefinger.

“Mr. Jeon-” I stammer, unable to call for help, now that this man has me in his grasp.

“I have been willing you to come and follow me, to give into your darkest desires, but still you resist me.” The young man hisses down at me, brows knit with confusion. “You are the only thing anyone talks about and I cannot stand it any longer.” My mouth hangs open. His nostrils flare as he makes his move. “You will be mine. Not locked away in this tower while Johnny is out and about with another man. You will be our new Alice.”

Before I can say anything, he pours a vile from his pocket into my mouth, holding it above my arms so I can’t smack it away. It tastes like roast turkey and strong alcohol and I try to claw and get away but I cannot as Jungkook holds my mouth open; my tongue feels numb and my arms feel like jelly, going limp in Jungkook’s arms. The only thing I can remember before completely blacking out is the little tag on the side of the bottle that says “DRINK ME”, tied with a pink ribbon hanging from the tiny glass and the smell of his cologne which reminds me of musk with a dash of black pepper.

Faint sounds of brass and strings pull me from my unconscious state in a flurry.

My brain is working hard, producing series and strings of thoughts. Why did Mr. Jeon Jungkook do that to me? Does Jonathan know where I am? In the same breath, where am I? What was that drink? Have I been poisoned? I look at myself on the red heart-patterned bedsheets. I look fine. There is no sign or feelings that I’ve been harmed, no bruises, and most importantly of all, there is no blood. There is no indicator at all that I’ve been harmed at all, which makes me sigh in relief.

But still, where have I been taken? This surely is not a room in the Suh residence.

A room with no windows, a giant bed in the middle of the room, large wooden pedestals with various wax candles lit drip down the sides surround me, red velvet curtains drape the walls making the warm room seem even more dim, and a wooden swing all decorate the space I find myself trapped in.

I can feel the color drain from my face when I realize that I’ve been here before. In fact, I’ve been here many, many times - almost every night. Not in the flesh but in my dreams. The only thing that is missing are the two men I see every night…

All the little hairs on my body stand at alert, worry coloring my thoughts, and I feign a small gasp in the large room.

With a lump in my throat and my heart thumping so hard I fear it might try to escape my chest, I run from the room.

My blue nightgown flutters behind me, time seems to slow as my bare feet carry me through the rooms from my dreams - though it’s backwards this time. I dash like a mad person, twirling and twisting my way through the room with mirrors on every side, seeing myself panting like a dog running so hard in the reflective glass. Though, I am happy to see I have no scratches upon my face either. I run through the room with clocks hanging all over the walls chiming and ticking at different times, springing through the belly of a giant, tall grandfather clock. I trip over the hems of my dress in the room with a long table in the middle which appears to stretch on for miles in this long room. There are various tea sets, cups, and pots along with tea cakes and sweet treats placed in a perfectly chaotic mess on the table as the eyes of various animal heads stare at me from their places hanging on the walls.

As I shimmy through the small door leading to the room with the walls full of water and sea creatures from the ocean, I pause my panting and sputtering as I spot Mr. Jung Jaehyun with his back pressed up against the glass. He is moaning, panting himself, a masquerade mask dangling in his hand, legs wrapped around the waist of a tall man in a vest who is rolling his hips sensually into his. My eyes widen as I figure out what the two of them are doing quickly and avert my attention. My thighs rub together, a strange fire grows in my lower abdomen, and I know I shouldn’t be looking but there is nothing but pure bliss on Mr. Jung’s face.

I can’t stop, I remind myself as my feet continue to carry me through the rooms I know so well.

Slinking away across a far wall full of lobsters without being caught, I hear Mr. Jung Jaehyun mewl one singular name, ��Johnny!” I want to turn around, catch my “future” husband's side profile as he makes love to another man, confirm it’s him, but my mind flashes back to meeting Jaehyun for the first (and only) time and how they touched each other so fondly. Jungkook’s words ring in my words as I hear laughing coming from beyond the rooms filled with tanks and gilled beasts.

Keep going. I can make it out of this place from my nightmares.

The next room is filled with more people, though it’s hazy at best in here. There are giant hookah pipes in the middle of floor cushions, people with and without masks on touching each other so unabashedly, some naked, half-nude, or still in their ball gowns all laying over each other in a pleasure-filled party I was slightly jealous I haven’t been invited to.

“Ms. Y/L/N?” A deep yet clear baritone purrs over the sounds of jazz music and groans of love-making. I turn my head to his voice, feet skidding to a halt as I look at Mr. Kim Namjoon in his half-naked glory, navy blue silk robe hanging off his shoulders exposing a lovely chest, half-lidded eyes tracing my form like I am a piece of delicate meat he wishes to indulge in. “What are you doing without your mask?” He snaps his fingers, chuckling lightly as he takes another drag of his long silver pipe. “Twins, get her a mask!”

“Where am I?” I query as I feel the presence of two figures slowly approaching me out of the dim haze. “Who are you people?” It feels wrong to be here, to witness this. It doesn’t feel right. I feel out of place and my body is begging me to run and my legs tremble like a fawn.

His brows furrow as he takes the tube out of his mouth, blowing smoke rings in my face. “Who are you to question me, Y/N?” He snickers as the “twins” catch my arms, placing a mask over my face as I struggle. “You are but another “Alice” to me. Take her to the ball, you two. The rabbit and the hatter are dying to see her, I’m sure.” They tie the mask around me successfully, leading me out of this room into the next one which I know is the one where the floor is a giant chess board.

“Please,” I plead with the good looking twins who march on like the loyal soldiers to this strange cause, “what is all this?” The music and the chatter and maniacal laughing is growing louder as we prance down the hallway with portraits of people who are dressed in all white and all red. “I just want to know…”

“Suppose we ought to tell her?” The taller of the two says after a moment of silence between the three of us.

“Suppose we ought not to.” The shorter one shakes his head as he carries on in the quest to take me somewhere. “Boss will be mad.”

“You are to be the belle of the ball.” The taller one says with a viscous boxy grin.

“The new “Alice”.” The short one with fluffy lips nods this time.

“Everyone keeps saying that, but I don’t know what it means?” I say as I hold my breath, about to waltz into the strange chess-board-like room.

“The most beautiful, wonderful, talented, special, magical-” The taller twin rambles on.

“The most perfect woman at The Wonderland Ball is called “Alice” until the next one.” The shorter one states softly as he inhales a giant breath. They both let me go, pushing me forward as the drapery of the simple heart-patterned curtain gives way and I am standing at the top of a grand staircase while hundreds of people from below all gasp and stare up at me.

As soon as I regain my footing a spotlight hits me and causes me to shield me eyes away from the bright light bearing down upon me. The upbeat music falls silent and I am acutely aware that I am standing here in my loungewear and not properly dressed to be at the forefront of attention this evening.

“And now the moment you’ve all been waiting for!” The voice that makes my hair stand up on end purrs as his lush lips soothe the microphone on the little stage they’ve set up for the jazz band to play on. Kim Seokjin, my eyes lock with his which dance with mischief, his smile greedy, dressed to the nines in a rich green suit. “The crowning of the belle of the ball, the apple of all our eyes, the one that shines brighter than anyone in the picture shows, Ms. Y/N Y/L/N!”

A roar of cheering, clapping, and brass music erupts as a white haired-man with a stretched, gummy smile that doesn’t fade takes my hand and leads me down the black and white staircase. The noises seemingly die in my ears as the man on my arm says nothing, grins like a cat about to catch a mouse in its claws. Time slows, people moving and waving at me become a blur as I see who is waiting at the bottom of the staircase.

Mr. Jeon Jungkook.

The man on my arm notices how tense I am and he ever so slightly turns his head and says to me in a deep voice, “They are not going to harm you. Jungkook is infatuated with you.” My cheeks heat up. “Seokjin is helping him accomplish his dreams because he signed his life away to the servitude of others for as long as he shall live.”

“Signed his life away?” I breathe, eyes never leaving Jungkook in a white waistcoat.

“You can’t get something for free in this world.” The cat-like man growls as we are almost there. “You’ve heard of an eye for an eye, correct?” I node slightly. “A soul of servitude so he can produce strange magic, according to him and the Red Witch of Underland.”

My heart nearly stops realizing what has happened. “The devil?”

“Bingo, babe.” The cat-man chuckles a deep rasp, sliding his arm away from mine. “Have fun.”

“Now you kids have fun chasing rabbits!” Seokjin’s voice crackles through the microphone. “Everyone, enjoy the last few hours of the wonderland ball!” More hooting and hollering echoes in the building as I am exchanged into Jungkook’s strong arms.

“I thought you’d never make it.” He smiles from under his white mask at me. He takes my hand and leads me to be embraced on the dance floor. Seokjin smirks at us as he begins to sing a popular pop song everyone swoons at.

“Would you like to tell me what this is all about?” I query with a sneer on my lips. “Why am I here? Why have you poisoned me?”

“I have not nor would I ever harm you.” Jungkook grips my waist tighter. “I merely gave you a strong sedative so that I could bring you to our wonderful palace.”

“Why?” I question as he twirls me around his outstretched arm.

“Because from the moment I bumped into you, you have been the only thing consuming my mind.” He earnestly tells me, sorrow coating his eyes. “I’m not sure what trap Johnny has ensnared or tricked you in but I very much hate seeing him lock you away from the world.”

“You’re wrong.” I state angrily, glaring at him.

“He doesn’t care about you. He likes to frolic about with diplomats’ sons, not farmers’ daughters.” Jungkook smiles at me.

“That’s not true…” I mumble, my eyes looking away from his red-rimmed ones boring down upon me. “I-I am marrying Jonathan for my own personal reasons.”

“Oh, ho?” Jungkook softly chuckles, leaning over, turning my gaze back to him as he gently caresses my cheek. “Do you really believe that, darling?”

“I do...I do! I-I came here willingly.” I tremble, my facade I’ve been trying to convince myself of this whole time crackling under the pressure of his words. “I l-love…” My words linger as I look beyond Jungkook, looking up to see, “...Jonathan…” walking toward myself in the middle of the dance floor.

“Jeon!” Jonathan says, Mr. Jung Jaehyun trailing behind him, eyes wide and scared when they find mine. The male in the waistcoat holding me turns his head to the noise, the brass music climaxing, the gasps of people Jonathan is stepping between couples dancing in the soft electric light from above - I feel like my heart is going to burst. My future husband pulls his arm back, fists clenched, ready to hurt Jungkook, and with an exhale I close my eyes fearing the worst was about to ensue.

The electric lights in the strange ballroom give out in the same second.

People scream all around me, a loud thud is heard and I feel like something unexpected is about to occur, the atmosphere heavy and full of invisible pressure.

“Release the jabberwocky!” A voice echoes as chaos ensues.

“Come with me.” A voice purrs, ripping me away from Jungkook’s arms. I feel almost empty as shouting and yelling break out in the middle of the dance floor. “I will protect you, Y/N, my crown jewel.” My stomach pits hearing him say my name, tickling my ear like the serpent that led Eve to eat the apple of her demise.

Kim Seokjin.

With a snap of his fingers, we are back in the room I started out this evening in and where my dreams always have me end at. I land on the bed in a huff and he ends up sitting upon the swing, looking at me with a triumphant smirk on his luscious lips. There is a certain air about him now that doesn’t seem so threatening, so serious now for some reason. Perhaps it’s him sitting upon the swing like that of a child? I haven’t the slightest clue.

“Where am I?” I demand, glowering at Seokjin from across the way.

“Curiosity often leads to trouble, my dearest Y/N.” Seokjin chuckles darkly, eyes roaming my body, a knowing look on his features. “I think before your marriage you are looking for a little trouble, if you catch my drift.”

Trouble…

My mind completely spirals remembering the scenes of people entangled with one another, their mouths working in tandem with each other, their slippery pink tongues entwined in a passionate battle for dominance. Mr. Jung Jaehyun’s face twisted in pleasure, moaning and mewling as his lover - my future husband - was thrusting vigorously.

A lightbulb finally goes off in my head.

“You want me to give into you both then my dreams will end?” My voice shakes as I query to Seokjin who continues to lightly push back and forth on the swing. “Then you will let me leave?”

His eyes flicker with a hungry vigor to them, gleaming in the dim candlelight. “Precisely.” His soft voice cuts the atmosphere like a sharp blade, leaving me with a chill radiating down my spine. “Let’s have some fun, “Alice”.”

“As long as you promise I am to be set free from all of...this.” I gesture around the room as he makes a come hither motion with his fingers at me.

“You have my word.”

Somehow, I don’t believe him, but I am desperate for any way out of this wretched place I can find.

So, I will use the body I was blessed with to the fullest extent.

I am a loyal woman. I step toward the man on the swing, my hands coming up to the ties around my chest and my waist. His eyes spark with a ravenous hunger in the depths of his orbs. I know that I am not doing a decent thing. Seokjin snaps his fingers again, all his clothes disappearing but his green top hat, vanishing before my very eyes. I know I am more than what I am succumbing to right now. But my stomach does feel hot and my thighs rubbing together is making me feel faint for some reason. My garments fall to the floor in a soft patting sound and I lose my breath in the same moment.

Don’t tell me I actually want this…?

I stand in front of him on the swing and I can’t help but bite my lip as my eyes roam his pale figure, tracing down his collarbones to his sculpted abdominal muscles he has been hiding. Did he sell his soul to the devil to become handsome too I wonder?

“So beautiful.” He revels looking at me unabashed, a wolfish grin spreading across his pretty face. Part of me wants him to touch me, to caress the underside of my breast, to trace the outline of my hips with his fingertips, but he doesn not.

I have to remind myself this isn’t for me. This is for the man that has been tormenting me.

“Get me ready for you.” Seokjin commands, smirk still spread across his face. I comply, dropping to my knees to be faced with a large member swinging forth from the middle of his legs on the swing. “And you will address me as “Sir”, understand?”

“Yes, sir.” I respond, biting my lip as I look from his eyes to his member once more.

“Suck.” He chuckles lightly, pointing to his middle and I can’t help but follow this simple instruction.

I don’t tease him, though I’m not really sure I know what I am doing in the first place. I swirl the flat of my tongue over his mushroom-tipped head several times. He moans in response, his hands coming off the swing’s ropes to hold my hair from my face as I swallow him further down my wet cavity. My middle aches and pulses, empty, missing something as I steady myself against Seokjin’s thighs.

“Good little girl.” Seokjin hums, his sound voice making me feel appreciated. The sound vibrating through to my own middle, making me groan around him.

I bob my head up and down his long length, enjoying the way he hums and gasps in response to my efforts. It’s a little hard to breathe I think as I continue my pace, nose hitting Seokjin’s pubic bone, smelling the most intimate part of him.

My dominant hand grabs his member at the base, working him in tandem with my mouth. Up and down his thick member I go, reveling in every twitch and rumble that flies out of his throat. The swing starts to sway with my rhythmic movements, bobbing him back and forth with vigor, tears climb to my eyes. The tip of him hits the back of my mouth, making me gag and choke on his wonderful cock. The heat was pooling in the middle of my stomach and I fear I am going to lose my mind. I pick up the motions of my mouth and hand, tears skating down my pinkened cheeks, his grip tightening around the base of my skull, digging into my scalp.

It burns… But, I also enjoy it. This feeling...so wet and tight and I feel so evil and sinful but the pleasure is driving me mad.

“Baby girl.” There’s warning in his tone as I pop off his cock in an instant, looking up to him with big worried eyes. His head was leaned back, not focused on looking directly at myself, but the feeling of my lips and fingertips. “Up.” He commands once more, head twisting back to a comfortable position to stare at me.

I scramble to my feet, missing the feeling of him in my mouth already, not to mention aching for him in the middle of my legs. I rub my thighs together for some easy friction, knowing that it won’t help me much at this point.

Seokjin moves his hand to stroke against his giant member in his palm and I lock my orbs in place on the slit of his cock where a clear liquid was oozing out. My mind is truly hazy at best, as I just stand there and watch him stroke himself up and down in a lazy fashion. I bite my lip once more.

I do want this. I am almost ashamed to admit that I want this man.

“Are you going to be good and let me use you?” Seokjin’s dirty words make my middle pool and contort with more of a raging fire.

“Y-Yes, sir.” I say again, cheeks hot and damp from sucking his cock moments ago.

His nostrils flare, his cock twitches in his grasp as he motions to sit upon his middle. “I bet you’re so wet for me.” He chuckles, smile darkening with his words.

Seokjin eases me down on his thick member, my hole so wet, so slick, allowing him to stretch my clenching walls in an easy motion. I gasp, eyes popping out of my head. My nails dig into his shoulder blades, back arching with his giant, twitching dick tight inside of me. I wrap my legs around his lean waist, his pale skin flexing in the candlelight with his movements as he stills, letting my hips sink down into the base of his cock.

“Baby girl.” Seokjin purrs, breath tickling my ear as he throbs inside of me. “I need you.” He growls, littering the crook of my neck with sloppy kisses. He positions us just so on the swing, readying us to begin when he deems necessary.

“P-Please use me, s-sir-r!” I mumble in the base of his neck, feeling high on this pleasure-filled pain.

“I live to serve.”

I gasp as he starts moving his hips inside of my center, bucking up into my body with a fevered pace instantly. The swing moves back and forth and I feel like the motion is going to make me feel his body sliding in and out of me too well. I cling to him for dear life, my grip surely bruising him or harming him in some way as he slides in and out of my slicked out center at a brutal rhythm.

Tears find my eyes again as he nips at my neck, marking me up with tender love bites. I’m a howling, moaning mess, losing my sanity. I am finally full of Seokjin’s girth, filling me up beyond desire.

Seokjin kisses my lips then in his, melting our mouths together in a hurry. He holds my face in his palms, grunting and groaning for me, and only me. His tongue enters my mouth in search of something unknown, moaning into my lips laced together with his hot mouth connected with my pink tongue. He rolls his saliva coated tongue into mine in haste, need seeping into my senses, consuming my thoughts as he thrusts up in me, using the swing as a propellant to ease us forward and backward.

“Feels...so-o..good~!” I moan in between our passionate kisses.

Seokjin just growls like a feral animal in response. The tip of his cock kisses my cervix continuously, brushing past a spot inside of me that instantly makes me quake. He rockets himself against me, rutting his body against my core in sync with his hips slamming into mine. Seokjin expels filth from his mouth about filling me to the brim with his seed, seeing my stomach swollen and full of his children, his warm breath hitting my ear making me shudder in response.

I can’t focus, my climax getting ready to pop at any moment. Wet noises fill the dark room, as Seokjin’s rough speed of his length in and out of my molten, wet center continues. My erect nipples swirl on his pale chest, circling quickly as he bounces me up and down his giant cock, swinging through the air like some sexual trapeze artist.

“Are you going to be good to me?” He asks me, smirk present in his tone, pace almost blinding now as he pushes in and out of me with a need so heavy and strong I can practically smell it rising from his skin. “Are you going to let me fill you up, my little doll?” Seokjin snarls into my skin.

“Pleaseeeee!” I practically scream, eyes flying open as he hits my center at just the right spot that makes me see white.

“Ah-ah!” He tsks. “What do we say?”

“Please, sir!” I mewl and gasp, thighs quaking in his hold, my juices squelching out of me as he continues to thrust into my sensitive molten core. “Seokjin!” I cry while he growls into the scorching skin of my neck inhaling sharply as he slams his hips into my shivering body. “Sir!”

Seokjin grunts, cock spurting his seed into me with a need so raw, so feral he finds his footing hard to maintain on the swing, stilling us from moving about, holding my hips tightly down upon him. He sucks harshly on my skin as he too shudders and grunts, biting down on the crook of my neck, stretching my clenching walls around his member as he fills me with his hot white seed.

My cries of pleasure fill the small room, my pleasure-filled haze coming to a close as Seokjin shifts us - still joined together - to the bed in the middle of the room. I hold onto Seokjin as he keeps his seed inside of me, feeling like I just had the ride of my life on top of him. My climax dies down, my first high fading away, fog around my brain being lifted temporarily as my nails rake over shoulders I’ve definitely marked up.

A cool, damp towel appears with a wave of his arms, stroking my middle with it delicately cleaning up the mess I’ve made. “How does it feel to be connected with the devil?” Seokjin sneers as he pulls out of me, making my center ache and twitch for him.

My eyes grow wide and my lips part but before I can say anything Jungkook bursts in the room.

“Am I late?” Jungkook pants as he looks awestruck by me on the bed.

“For a very important date.” I gaze back to Seokjin who is now fully dressed, smirking that soft, playful smile like he usually does at Mr. Jeon. “Don’t worry, I was just getting her ready for you, Jungkookie.”

Jungkook eyes him with narrowed orbs, but buys the lie Seokjin is selling and proceeds to strip himself of his white waistcoat. “What is on the menu tonight?” His red-rimmed irises bore into mine and I feel self-conscious suddenly. He circles the bed in the manner like that of a wolf would as he finishes stripping himself of any dressy garments, though his slacks remain on.

“The one you most desire out of everything in this world.” Seokjin purrs, stepping up to take his seat on his pedestal high above us.

Is he going to watch us?

“Fuck,” Jungkook growls, dropping to his knees in front of the bed suddenly. He pulls me closer to him by my ankles, throwing my thighs apart so my center is exposed to him in the rawest form. He stares at my glistening middle as I try to close my legs with a little, pathetic whimper.

“Don’t.” The rabbit-like man moans wantonly, holding onto my ankles loosely. “Fuck, you’re so beautiful, you know that, right?” His hands glide up my thighs achingly slow, holding me in pace for his eyes to ravage as they please.

The fire in my lower stomach has returned, hungry and ready to go for more.

His warm fingertips make it to my inner thighs, kneading the flesh there tenderly, so close to my throbbing core that I almost beg him with a cry to dip down into me, but I refrain, hanging on to every trace or brush of his hands against my scorching flesh.

“What do you want, my darling?” He groans into my inner thigh, lips ghosting my sensitive flesh there, inching closer to my heated skin with his upper body.

“Please.” I finally ask, begging, almost choking out the word, forgetting Seokjin watching us from above.

His dominant hand finally finds my nether lips, tracing them up and down with his two longest fingers but not exactly touching me where I am aching quite yet. “Please what?” He teases, stroking me up and down slowly, holding his feral gaze in mine, amber eyes seemingly on fire.

“Please, Jungko-“

He slaps my middle with little force or malice behind it, but I jolt, mewling aloud, wanting him to secretly do it again.

Jungkook goes back to tracing my lips in the middle of my body, smug smirk seated on his devilishly handsome face. “You are so wet, darling.” He slaps me again, though this time I want it more than I’d actually care to admit.

“Jung-” I choke on my words.

He slaps me again, this time with slightly more force behind his fingertips. I hiss out a breath, staring at him with my mouth slightly ajar, brows turned up, looking down at him with half-lidded eyes already.

“I have to have a taste.” He kisses my inner thigh as he slowly traces his thumb over my slicked out folds.

I let out a wanton cry as he hums into my thighs, growling low and deep. I swear there’s a smile in his voice as he works with his mouth and fingertip in tandem. “Mine.” He breathes, sucking on the sensitive flesh of my innermost thigh, marking me with a throaty growl.

“J-Jungkook..!”

I am a mess. I let loose a series of pants, breathless moans as he works my coil in the pit of my stomach tighter with every brush or groan he grants my hot body. I am melting under Jungkook’s touch, my body feeling sticky, arousal dripping from my middle while he circles my delicate clit.

His thumb was increasing his pace of gliding over my bundle of nerves, still slow, still making my breathing become erratic, but the desire for Jungkook to do more was driving me insane. I’ve had a taste of sex and look at me wanting more. I didn’t know if I could be in the position to ask for more. But I wanted him to place those perfect, beautiful sinful lips on my molten core. Jungkook’s breath fans over my middle as he continues to stroke me down there.

I miss the twitch confined to the middle of his pants from the man watching us from above with eager need.

As if sensing my need, his tongue swipes a slow stripe through my folds, the cool of his muscle against my exposed center making me black out for a moment, the sensation far too much for me to bear with right now. His snort of laughter brings me back to reality as he swirls his pink tongue at my empty entrance.

Jungkook laps at my folds as if he is a starved man, hungry, desperate for his next meal. I keen, gripping onto the base of his golden torso as laps at me. I’d think grounding myself on top of Jungkook’s head would make me saner, gripping his strands of hair as he goes to town in my middle. But really, it makes me feel completely mad, like I’ve gone insane.

The feral, untamed animal-like noises that escape his throat drive me absolutely wild, my skin on fire with need and want. My nails cling to his scalp, dragging him closer to my middle as he ravages my core. He maneuvers his two longest fingers through the glossy slick, lubing his digits to breach my entrance.

“Jungkook!” I gasp, choking on my words as he makes a come hither motion with his fingers, splitting my velvet walls to open for him.

Jungkook swirls his tongue over my little pearl of sensitive nerves, lapping and sucking my flesh like he's never eaten a thing in his life. He continues his very audible growling and moaning, husk in his voice incredibly thick.

“Let go, baby.” He coos into my middle as I jolt and shake, his digits brushing past the most delicious spot deep inside of my clenching walls. “Give me your release.”

His words finally tip me over the edge.

I tighten my hold on him, gritting my teeth in the process. My head falls backward on the sheets, eyes screwed closed as Jungkook slurps every inch of my middle clean, not leaving anything to go to waste.

“Kookie,” I sputter out, the feeling of his tongue and fingers becoming too much for me. “I-I’m c-c-cumming-!”

As I say the last of my words, the world comes undone around me for the second time today, my tight coil finally popping. Blinding white stars coat my vision for a second, my body shivering and shaking as I drip out onto the flat of Jungkook’s tongue.

He laps up my sensitive hole up with more snarls, more feral noises escaping his body. Tears flow down my face as I unhinge my nails from his silky blonde strands, trying to push him away from my overly sensitive flesh with pathetic mewls of protest escaping my throat.

More. My brian prompts me to continue to sate my undying lust burning inside of me. I need more.

“Jungkook,” I beg while his tongue still explores my throbbing hole, giving my sensitive skin rapt attention. “Jungkookie. Please. I c-can’t.” I tug at his blinde hair gently, trying to get him to stop teasing me with his tongue.

He doesn't stop and I can only think of one thing to ask before I lose my damn mind with him between my thighs.

“Jungkook.” I shudder, high building up once more. “Please fuck me.”

Everything in the room stills, the only sound heard was our heavy breathing.

He looks up from my sensitive core, brows knit together as he looks into my eyes with such a passionate gaze of uncertainty. My juices were coating the bottom half of his face, his blonde hair is in a state of disarray, as he proceeds to slowly rise to his feet, looking over me on the bed.

“What?” He questions incredulously down at my fucked out form. Jungkook looks at me as if I am the most fragile thing in the world, as if I would burst into flames at any moment. “My darling, my love, there’s no going back if we-“

“I know.” I smirk up to the gorgeous gangster in all of the Windy City. “I want this too.”

His nostrils flare, his eyes widen, and his gaze softens. Jungkook looks down at me with something akin to lust, which makes my heart rate increase...

“Up.” He commands, raw husk pouring out of his tone as he starts to undo his pants, the zipper noise almost jarring in the quiet of the night.

I do as I’m told. I’ve fallen far down the rabbit hole now, I think as I shift on the bed. Standing was a little difficult as he’s just given me one of the best feelings I’ve ever had. I keep my eyes glued to Jungkook. His hands travel sensually down his tiny waist to his slacks he unbuttons. I am gasping, unable to take my eyes off the very beautiful sight of his thick cock bouncing, finally free from the confines of his dress pants. The tip was red and angry, a bead of precum adorning the slit of his mushroom-like head. He was long, girthy, and I want nothing more than it inside of myself at this very moment.

Jungkook grips the base of his cock with his hand while he steps out of his pants, giving his shaft a few pumps up and down while I watch with an open mouth.

“I’ve dreamt of this moment for so long.” He confesses softly, reaching for me with his free hand. I inch closer to him, gliding my hands over his defined body, admiring his lithe, yet sturdy frame. My fingers hungrily trace every ridge, every contour of his golden torso. Jungkook was so warm, so wonderful, and I am slightly kicking myself for not giving into him sooner. “To have you,” he continues, kissing up the side of my neck.

“Please.” I beg him again, eyes flickering back and forth between his.

“Turn around.” He leans in to kiss me with passionate need. His lips molding into mine as I cling to him for more. I taste my essence on his tongue which makes me whimper into his strong hold. “I’m going to fuck you now, my love.”

Again, I don’t need to be told twice as he guides me to where he wants me, bending me at the waist so my fingers dig into the unkept sheets below, my backside open and exposed to him.

“So pretty for me.” I hear the grin in his deep rumble. Jungkook slaps my bottom, granting him a hiss to escape my throat. I whine when he does it softly several more times, making my head soar.

I hear him spit before I feel the extra saliva lubricant coat my backside, the cool of his juices combined with mine was driving me up a wall.

“Jungkook!” I gasp.

He groans when I call for him, pushing his fat head of a cock at my aching, empty hole, wanting him to finally join the two of us.

“Darling,” he sounds like he’s straining to hold back. “Baby, please, fuck!” He grunts, splitting my walls inch by agonizingly slowly. I moan as he stretches me wide, entering me like he owns me.

He thrusts inside of me all the way with one snap of his hips suddenly. A cry leaves my lips along with a strangled one from the man inside of me. My eyes widen as I realize that he’s not going to go easy on me tonight, he’s going to fuck me on his terms. I was in for a wild ride this evening.

Jungkook leans the front of himself over my sticky back, pressing our heated flesh together more, growling to the outside shell of my ear, nipping the flesh under my lobe while sliding in and out of me with a brutal pace he’s set.

“Baby…” he moans in my ear, the deep purr vibrating throughout his body making my breathing hitch and sob. His hips snapping into mine with a rhythm, I swear, no human man could ever achieve. Liquid was flowing down my eyes as the push and pull of Jungkook slamming his giant cock into my velvet folds repeatedly already had me tearing the sheets in two with my nails.

“Jung! Ah! Kook!”

Seokjin glides his hand over his cock from above the bed, matching the rhythm Jungkook’s hips produce, enjoying the wonderful show.

I gasp this over and over like a prayer falling from my lips. My eyes are squeezed shut, my body hot with the raw purpose to feel Jugnkook inside of my heated center. His cock pushes in and out of me at a fevered pace, making my vision blur, seeing far too many white stars.

My brain is fuzzy as he hits the spot inside of me that blinds me, pleasure swimming in my veins. My third climax was surely on the way.

“Baby,” Jungkook grunts, one of his arms snaking up my torso, his long fingers finding one of my bouncing breasts. He starts pinching my erect nipple, holding on to me tighter as we slide back and forth off of one another.

My coil was wound so tight, I don’t know if I’d be able to last much longer. Especially not with Jungkook’s fingers attaching to my hardened nipple, his lips to the crook of my neck, and his cock slamming in and out of my clenching middle with a fevered need.

He bucks into me faster, my walls clamping down on him, my coil about to pop, about to burst forth again. I can’t hold myself up any longer, my legs shaking violently. My knuckles are turning white with how hard I am clawing at the heart patterned sheets.

“Jungkook! I-“ I mewl, but I don’t get to finish my thought.

In a split second, Jungkook pulls out of my middle, flipping me over and letting me fall onto my back so I could be face to face with him. Jungkook climbs on top of me quickly, wanting to resume his feverish pace immediately, hunger and need in his amber gaze. He settles between my legs, pushing himself back into my slicked out center easily, restarting from where he last left off.

I gasp when he enters me, clinging to his shoulders, holding him while the lewd squelching noises in the room continue to grow, faster, louder. He grips onto my hips, guiding me at a blinding speed I didn’t know he could achieve. Is he a victim of the devil as well?

Sweat was pouring off our bodies, my brain unable to produce a sane thought as he grunts and moans my name, his red orbs never leaving my face as he rockets his cock into my folds like it was his job.

It happens again, the very right feeling deep inside of my body, the one that makes me grit my teeth, that makes me see hundreds of tiny white stars.

“Jung! Kook~!” I scream into the quiet room, tears flowing from my hues as I card my fingers through his blonde strands, trying to make a purchase on his roots.

My hands travel down his backside as he snarls, “I’m going to make you my wife! Not some wannabe from the Northside!” Jungkook huffs, his movements slowing down, one of his thumbs finding my folds again, circling my aching clit in hurry - a stark contrast to earlier. “I’m going to claim you as my own.”

Seokjin smiles like he’s just won the lottery, masturbating to the sight of both his clients intertwined, fucking onto each other with unbridled lust. He comes then watching his new toy’s back arch, breasts in the air, Jungkook’s frame pounding into her with hungry trepidation.

I grab onto the ample flesh of his bottom, feeling the world come tumbling around myself once more. Letting my body shake and quake on top of the sheets, my third orgasm taking me by force. I feel complete - feel whole for some reason. I am so completely taken aback with the storm rippling through my body in pleasureful tremors, one right after the other, I cannot even begin to breathe properly.

He lets a feral snarl rip through his body as he pumps into my leaking middle a few more times, my whole being consumed by Jungkook. He leans over me, sucking my neck colors of purples and dark reds and I scream as his cock swells inside of my velvet walls, releasing his own essence into my womb, holding him there like a vice grip as he spurts his seed deep inside of me.

Once our highs come to a close, I run my fingers through his hair, his throbbing cock still joined inside of my middle. We both pant, holding the other for dear life, finally together, and fulfilled with one other. Jungkook kisses along my jaw, moaning my name, telling me what an amazing baby doll I am as his cock finally softens inside of my aching cunt.

“Bravo.” Seokjin claps as he walks down the wooden stairs. “You both did very well!” He chuckles darkly. I squeak in surprise. I forgot he was there and I scramble to cover myself with the soiled sheets.

“Okay, Kim,” Jungkook says as he kisses my nose, pulling out and picking up my clothes and handing them to me. He dresses in his undergarments and dress pants quickly, buttoning them up as he turns to the man all in green. “You had your show.” I listen as I dress myself with haste, back turned to the two men. “I’ve done everything you’ve asked: invested the money overseas, gotten rid of the competition and family in this lovely city, got you a new “Alice”, and even let you watch us play ball. I think it’s time to set us free.”

“Yes,” the mad man snickers, darkness clouding his tone, “you both have served me well. But nobody is leaving my perfectly curated speakeasy.”

I turn around and my heart is dropping to the floor. Shock is written all over Jungkook’s face as I clench my jaw in guilt.

“But, I’m afraid you both made a deal with me, and I don’t give up my new toys so easily.” Seokjin caresses Jungkook’s face in his pale hand, while holding my gaze with a sense of gentle anger. “You can’t always get what you want. But hey, look on the bright side: at least you have each other.”

---

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this trip down the rabbit hole! Likes and reblogs are very much appreciated!

336 notes · View notes