#yes jurgens is on there twice.

[lesbianspeedy]

green arrow artists ranked least fav to fav GO

CAVEAT BEFORE I BEGIN: this is ranked entirely on the MAIN PENCILLER artist listed in each issue i took from, however a LOT of comic art is make or break with inkers and colourists. so this is by no meaning me saying (x) artist sucks/ is amazing on their own or whatever. it just. is what it is. i just frankly cant be bothered to factor each inker into each ranking.

second caveat: frankly i dislike some of these artists as people, but ive tried not to include that in my ranking, and im purely going from how they draw ollie

third and final caveat: this is JUST based on their ollies. a lot of these artists draw other things (WOMEN) horribly or other things AMAZING (layouts/backgrounds/pinups) and if it was ranked on that they'd probably be lower. this is entirely based on how much i like looking at their ollie/how much it feels like Ollie tm to me.

and here is the tier list maker i made for anyone to make their own!

[insomnia-productions]

jonelias fake dating bullet fic

help

So Jon’s about a month into his new position as Head Archivist. it’s… fine. this is fine. gertrude was a mess, clearly, and elias is even more of a mess for allowing things to get this bad, but it’s fine. it’s fine. he’s fine.

yes, really, martin, stop asking,

And he’s - look, he’s always been a diligent person, always very committed to his work, so naturally he would spend every waking minute trying to organize the Archives, and naturally he would forget to sleep once or twice or five times a week, and honestly so what if he hasn’t actually touched his bed in nine days? It’s not like the lack of sleep is impeding his brain function. Much.

So it’s a bright and sunny morning in the Institute, and he’s up in one of the many libraries, looking up something about what may or may not have been a sentient kitchen sponge, and one of the researchers comes up to him looking oddly red and kind of stumbling over her words and oh lord no he’s being asked out

He quickly stutters through a rejection, but instead of just accepting it like a normal person (though, in fairness, what normal person would work at the Magnus Institute?), she asks him why not

like. what the fuck.

And Jon isn’t exactly the nicest or most tactful person, but even he isn’t about to look this woman in the eye and tell her that he just straight up does not like her. he’s not even sure he knows her name. there is a whole realm of possibility as to what reason he could give, like he’s too busy, or he isn’t looking to date anyone right now, but those would sound too much like excuses, wouldn’t they, rather than valid reasons to reject her.

He picks the worst option.

“I’m already seeing someone, actually.”

An eyebrow goes up. She looks him up and down. A second eyebrow goes up.

“Really? Who?”

Fuck. Now he has .2 seconds to make up a love story. He’s too tired for this, and he’s never been one for love stories. What makes for a believable romance? And in that panicked, sleep-deprived instant, his eyes fall on a portrait of Jonah Magnus nestled between two shelves, and somehow that prompts a spectacularly terrible response.

“Uh. Elias.”

Twenty minutes later he’s sitting at his desk in a spiral of anxiety. It’s fine, though, right? That woman will probably keep it to herself, and she’s just some random researcher, there’s no way anyone else will hear about his stupid comment. There’s no way Elias will hear about it - and even if he does, Elias has always been a pretty laid back boss, maybe he’ll even find it funny?

Oh lord he’s going to die  

The next day, everyone has heard about it. Jon can just feel it in the way people’s eyes follow him. Tim and Sasha give him twin funny looks, kind of half-disbelieving, half-amused. Jon slams his office door slightly harder than necessary. He puts it forcefully from his mind, and the day passes without incident. Until.

It’s the end of the day. Jon is walking towards the Institute’s main doors. Half the Institute seems to be there (fair enough, it is closing time), gathered in bunches, talking quietly, eyes flitting to him and away. Tim and Sasha are sitting on their Gossip Couch in the lobby, watching him. Elias is there, and waves him over, holding something that looks like a statement. Of course, today would be the day he decides to get involved in the archives.

Jon begrudgingly walks over. The second he reaches Elias’ side, Tim’s voice rings across the lobby. He’s walking towards them, saying something about hearing the most interesting thing from a woman in research, and how long have they been together?

Elias looks at him. Jon can see the instant when he realizes what’s happened, and, more importantly, he can see the precise moment when Elias decides to make things infinitely worse, because his eyes light up like he’s just been offered a second Christmas.

Elias turns back to Tim and, entirely matter-of-factly, says, “Two weeks.”

Tim, honestly, had not been expecting it to be true.

It’s bad. It’s bad, but… it could be worse. Two weeks isn’t a long time. It’s not like Elias has gone and made up an entire marriage or something. Jon will just put up with his coworker’s teasing for a couple of weeks, and then drop some vague comment about being too busy to date, and an amicable breakup, and that will be the end of the whole ordeal. This is fine.

Jon goes straight to Elias’ office the next morning to tell him just that, ignoring Tim and Sasha’s loud whistles as he reaches that particular set of stairs. He gets through a begrudging thank-you and a short explanation of his game plan, but once he’s done, Elias just folds his hands on his desk and smiles in a perfectly pleasant way that makes Jon feel like a minnow suspended between the open jaws of a shark.

Elias, as it turns out, has a party coming up next month, hosted by the Fairchilds, although Jon doesn’t know that name just yet. It’s an opportunity to garner more funds for the Institute, and he suspects one of the Lukases is going to ask him to it. Elias can’t afford to offend the Lukases, but he would also prefer to avoid getting roped into dating one of them again - (again??) - so why not stretch this fake dating thing out just a little longer.

Well, Jon thinks, there’s no harm in it, really. It’s just a month, just a party. And he does owe Elias for covering for him yesterday. So he agrees.

A week after the party, he’s preparing to drop his breakup comments over tea in the breakroom, when his cousin calls to invite him to her wedding. Bring a plus one! Oh god. He can already hear all the aunties, asking him when he’s going to settle down, why he hasn’t found someone yet. He bites his tongue on the breakup comment, puts his cup down, and walks up to Elias’ office.

It becomes a sort of unspoken agreement. Fake dating isn’t even hard; they’re adults with jobs, after all, not high schoolers spending every waking moment together. It’s an arrangement of convenience, more than anything, and the only thing that changes between them is that Elias visits the Archives more than he used to, and they talk more, and one time at one of Elias’ parties they danced, and it was nice, actually.

Meanwhile, for Jonah’s part, he’s having a baller time. Fake dating is such a small, petty thing, but the scheming that goes into laying out all the right little hints of domesticity, not to mention the fun of walking the line between performing for the others and legitimately flirting with Jon, always just short of anything that couldn’t be explained away - it’s like a fun, relaxing warm-up to his more important schemes.

Plus, he now has an excuse to spend more time with Jon, evaluating and pushing and molding the man who will become his Archive. It isn’t hard - and people like Jane Prentiss and Jurgen Leitner and the not-Them make it all the more easy.

On which note - Jane Prentiss happens. The Archives are in upheaval, someone definitely murdered Gertrude, and Jon is freaking out. Someone - Sasha, this person is Sasha - comes up to him to tell him that he shouldn’t be alone right now. Any good boyfriend would take him home, take care of him after something so traumatic. Elias is sitting next to him, and he gives Sasha a strange, sharp smile, and just as she’d suggested, he takes Jon home. Jon is too caught up in stress and exhaustion and who killed gertrude to remember that Elias is not, in fact, his actual boyfriend.

Maybe some part of him recalls, somewhere between the part where Elias so carefully tends to his wounds and the part where they fall asleep curled around each other, that this is not what fake-dating-at-parties-for-mutual-convenience is supposed to entail, but he’s so tired and there are so many bigger things to worry about than whether or not this is a boundary they shouldn’t cross.

He wakes up with Elias’ arms around him and Elias’ fingers combing gently through hair, and after that the line between fake dating and actually being in a relationship just gets blurrier and blurrier. But nothing really happens, not yet. Jon is in the midst of a murder investigation, after all - one even Elias is still a suspect in, warm mornings together or not. So they remain walking that line for months and months as Jon sinks further into paranoia, isolated from everyone - except Elias, who stays by his side like the supportive boyfriend he isn’t.

And then there’s the table. And the thing that is not Sasha. And Jurgen Leitner. And now he’s the one being suspected of murder. Jon does what has become his habit over the past two years when he is faced with a social situation he feels ill-equipped to deal with on his own. He goes to Elias.

And Jonah starts to rework his plans.

Maybe the fact that they now live together will make getting Jon marked by the fears harder, maybe it will take longer for him to be ready for the Watcher’s Crown. Maybe it will add years to his plans. But what good is a world without someone to rule it with? Maybe even, with time and patience, someone willing? Jonah’s waited 200 years to perform his ritual; for his Archive, he can wait a few more.

[orchidbreezefc]

i finished 13 storeys by acclaimed novelist jonathan "jonny" "not the archivist or the pirate cowboy" sims and i LOVED it! haunting! powerful! the very first thing i did was get a free trial from an overpriced listening service, download the audiobook, and unsubscribe again. and then i put it on immediately to relisten, so the foreshadowing could murder me to death! which it did! just revisiting the prologue wiped me from the face of the earth. god bless.

i really loved 13 storeys so much, y'all. i wish so very very bad that the most pressing and foremost comment i have to make on it were not the one (1) thing in the book i actively hated. but here we are.

in this book once more, we contend with jonny "bad with names" "8 separate michaels" "doesnt know what namesakes are" "the baby name website said jurgen was norwegian" sims. he refers to leon's wife, andi, as "angela". twice! surely this is part of leon's haunting, i thought, brain ghosts making him mix up his own wife's name. nope! not a spooky thing! jonnys just THAT bad at names!

that's whatever. the genuine fuckin problem comes when he gives two brazilian, portuguese-speaking brothers 3 names total, and the forms/spellings of these names are from 3 separate languages, none of which is portuguese.

i wish i could have thought about anything else during the audio chapter from jésus [french] candido's [italian] point of view, but it was pretty fuckin hard considering folks getting jésus's name wrong is discussed in the text. in the written version, when it is mispronounced it is spelled without the accent mark, which is really clever! (or, would be clever, except the portuguese form of the name is in fact jesus, no accent mark.)

the voice actor reads the other characters' mispronunciation of the name as 'jesus' like 'of nazareth', at least how anglophones say it. which is fine! too bad he also uses this mispronunciation in the NARRATION. from jésus's point of view. referring to HIMSELF. TWICE. not to mention all of this is assuming his regular pronunciation of the name is even anything in the first place, which it may not be, considering it's the wrong form.

i don't want to lay the blame squarely on the VA, who speaks 6 languages--english non-natively, by the sound of it. because seriously, who was directing this? did nobody proof-listen? why did he say courier in both the english and the french way, and why did he say his fucking name wrong?? twice?? it's really fucking careless from an author who includes folks of many varying backgrounds (in this book particularly) and seemingly takes great pains not to be callous about it otherwise.

p.s. don't go thermian on this. yes, many irl latine families use forms and spellings from different languages than their own, especially when the difference comes down to an accent mark. that's absolutely fine and a valid, real experience! it is also completely irrelevant to a white man choosing 3 names for two fictional characters and getting the form/spelling wrong on all of them. he could have used google. he should have used google.

[cryptwrites]

Statement #0162806

(UNOFFICAL) formatted more as a script as i write these in google docs

CW: Cannibalism and Murder

[BLAKE]

I’m surprised they even let you near me. I haven’t had real human interaction except for the fucking pigs outside in years.

[ARCHIVIST]

I was told you’d only give your confession to me? Why? 

[BLAKE]

Because my confession isn’t something anyone but you, or your institute would believe. 

[ARCHIVIST]

I see. Uh, Statement of Elizabeth Blake regarding the murders of 15 people in 2012. Statement recorded direct from subject 28th June, 2016. Statement begins.

[BLAKE]

I had a normal childhood. I played games with the neighborhood kids, I participated in clubs in school, I made honor roll every year and served as secretary at my high school. It was my college year, I was studying Anthropology at Oxford. I usually went thrifting on the weekends because I really couldn’t afford to shop anywhere else. On one of these weekends I was looking through the books they were selling, and one caught my eye, it was a thick red book, the cover felt like cloth. The title was in gold on the front, reading “Human Diets”. I wouldn't have even thought twice about it, but it looked so… clean? It was clean. It wasn’t worn at all. I mean I knew it was old but it looked brand new. Untouched. I opened it and there was a plaque on the inside cover.. I think it was from some german library, I cannot remember which one it said. 

[ARCHIVIST]

(Sighs)

Was it the Library of Jurgen Litner?

[BLAKE]

Yes. That was it. Anyways, I don’t know why but i bought it, it was only a few cents and the cashier didn’t even remember putting it on the shelf. So I went home and put it on my shelf and promptly forgot about it. I only remembered it was even there when I had a friend over and they asked about it. I told them I didn't know what it was and waited for them to leave, flipping through those pages, it was a cookbook. It wasn’t a normal cook book though. It used Human Meat. There were recipes for anything you could think of, popcorn chicken, grilled steak, pepper stuffed pork. Anything, all made out of human meat. The weirdest part is that this didn’t freak me out. I set the book down onto my kitchen counter and picked up my phone. 

There was this boy in my literature class who liked me, William, I called him and invited him over for dinner. I do not know why I did it, I just, did. When he got to my apartment, we watched movies and did normal date night things, the poor boy was clearly shaking from anxiety. I told him it was time to prepare dinner and he smiled. I still think about that smile. I stood up and walked to my kitchen, I asked him how steak sounded for dinner and he let out the smallest noise of agreement i’ve ever heard. I gently played around with the knives in the block, before turning back to him, and asked him for a dance. He stared at me for a second, an expression of confusion and embarrassment crossed his face just for a moment before walking over to me. You know… I think that’s the first time I had ever felt loved. Truly loved. 

I cannot even remember what song was playing but I remember that he went to kiss me and that’s when I did it. I saw the cook book lying on the kitchen counter and I grabbed the small paring knife out of the knife block and sliced the back of his neck. Slicing someone’s skin open requires a lot more force than you think it would, but it was so smooth, I felt him freeze up as the blood dripped onto my hand and down his back. He started to stumble back before I lunged the small knife fully into his neck and pulled it back out. 

William stumbled onto the floor desperately grabbing at his neck, trying to stop the bleeding. I could see him try and scream but I must have hit his vocal cords with the second stab as no sound came from him. He bled out pretty fast, and as he did I opened the cookbook and turned to a Garlic-Rosemary Steak recipe. I pulled the herbs it called for out from my cupboard and turned on the stove. I’ll spare you the details, they’re all in the official police report anyways, but I turned to William, and I cooked him. Bones and all. Now, I need you to believe me, I did not want to kill him. I think I even liked him. I cried out as soon as I realized what I had done.

 I didn’t leave my apartment for weeks. I threw my phone away, I kept my door locked but every time I tried to get rid of that damn book I couldn’t. It wouldn’t let me. So I just sat. In my apartment. I grew deeply ill. Like I was starving. Which couldn’t have been possible as i was eating just fine, but when i checked in the mirror I looked… so thin. Like a living skeleton. You could count my ribs. I didn’t look well. I looked at the cookbook and I knew. I knew it was doing this. I needed to kill again. I needed it so bad. But I didn’t want to. But if i didn’t it was gonna kill me. I swear. That book would have killed me... eaten me… So I did. I went out to a bar, I picked up this girl named Nancy, she was sweet, I invited her back for dinner and I killed her. I then cooked her. 

I didn’t even touch the food afterwards. I felt, so sick at what I had done. I was so tired. I washed the blood off my clothes and I fell asleep. I woke up the next morning and it was gone. The food was gone. And I knew. I knew the book ate it. I sat, and I stared at my kitchen. It was spotless. You couldn’t see, any trace of a murder. The dishes were cleaned, the knife was spotless. I realized I didn’t feel as sick as I had and I knew I couldn't stop feeding it. Otherwise it would feed on me. I tried to go as long as I could without killing. I killed only when I could count my ribs as feeding it seemed to… feed me.. in a way. I stopped eating entirely after a while. Still don’t. 

I went on to kill 13 more people. I remember all of their names, in some weird twisted way, they are my family. I feel horrible for what I did and i regret it everyday, but if I didn't, it was going to kill me. It was going to eat me from the inside out. I need you to tell the family that I'm sorry. I never got the chance either. I just need them to know I'm sorry. 

[ARCHIVIST]

What happened to the book?

[BLAKE]

Oh I don’t know. When I was arrested I never saw it again. It didn’t even come up in court. Which, for a cannibalistic cookbook, you think it would. They only convicted me because the man who was supposed to be my 16th was a cop. Hunter his name was, real handsome fellow. He saw me pull the knife and before I knew it I was pinned against a wall with my hands cuffed behind my back. I thought he was just a little… erotic until I heard his identification.

[ARCHIVIST]

The book, Elizabeth.

[BLAKE]

Yes, sorry, It stopped feeding on me. But I still have the scars it left on me. And I don't eat. Don’t think I can. Last time I tried, I had to go to the infirmary. Apparently, I don't actually have a stomach, and most of my organs are not intact. The few doctors that they allow to see me do not know how I am alive. And only a few of the staff know about it. I don’t even know if I can die. And they won’t kill me so I very well could be spending the rest of eternity in here. Until someone kills me. Or the book does. If it still can. 

[ARCHIVIST]

Did you ever eat your victims?

[BLAKE]

Once. The 12th. Her name was Abigail Decker. I killed her on the 27th of October. It was while I was cooking, I didn’t even realize it at first, but you know when chefs to that thing where they taste their food while it’s cooking to make sure it tastes good? Yeah. I finished cooking and I went to go to bed to let the book do its thing. Kept it happy. I didn’t even register it until the next day when I felt so.. so sick. I ran to my mirror and tore my shirt off, and everything looked fine, I looked healthy. I was so confused. Did I do something wrong? Did I make it angry? No. No I couldn’t eat. I shouldn’t have eaten. I’ll spare you the details but I was a mess by the time I clawed it out of my body. It was strange. I didn’t even bleed.

[ARCHIVIST]

Is that all? That’s your confession?

[BLAKE]

What? You want a shorter version?

[ARCHIVIST]

No I-

[BLAKE]

I, Elizabeth Blake, killed 15 people, attempted 16 in 2012 due to a cannibalistic cookbook from a german Library. That’s my confession, Archivist.

[ARCHIVIST]

Thank you, Elizabeth. Take care.

[BLAKE] 

You as well Archivist.

[ARCHIVIST]

Statement Ends.

SUPPLEMENT

[ARCHIVIST]

Elizabeth Blake is clearly a very distressed, disturbed individual. What worries me the most is the Litner she talked about. It drove her to kill 15, almost 16 people and she got away with it for a year. I decided to respect her wishes and had Tim and Martin reach out to the family’s to let them know her message, of course they weren’t pleased to hear from her, but Tim is good with people. She seemed genuinely regretful. Scared even. Everything from her police report reflects exactly what she told me, minus the book. She killed and cooked people. If I would have taken this statement a year ago i would have brushed it off and decided the Elizabeth just wanted fame, but it’s the mention of the Litner and how… scared she sounded talking about the idea of it killing her that makes me want to believe her. I asked Elias if he knew anything about the book and he said he had indeed heard of it but never came into contact with it. Unsurprisingly, last he heard Michael Crew was in possession of it. 

End Supplemental.

[arce-elliot]

Magnus Archives - First Impressions (76-100)

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAH WE’RE HALF-WAY THERE

EP 76 (The Smell of Blood): - MELANIEEEEE I'm being spoiled, so many Basira eps and now Melanie - hmm. what the fuck. - "yes i know what a meme is" YESSSS THE LINE - Jon and Melanie are getting along we love to see it - wait how does Melanie know why can she remember real Sasha EP 77 (The Kind Mother): - Ah yes more Not Them - THANK YOU JON YOU'VE FINALLY GOT IT EP 78 (Distant Cousin): - oh dear Jon what's your deal - More Not Them Wheeeeee - WEB TABLE WEB TABLE - Breekon and Hoooooope, the boooooys - AYYYY MICHAEL EP 79 (Hide and Seek): - these poor boys are in WAY over there heads lmao - whoops you got that Michael Distortion GPS chip dumbass - oh mr. leitner? EP 80 (The Librarian): - jurgen is so exasperated lmao - "that'll be our gerard" oh so he's OUR gerard now - jurgen really said "can you speed up this panic attack lmao" - damn Jon how you gonna talk your way out of this mess EP 81 (A Guest for Mr. Spider): - jon stop being mean to little jon :C - GEOOOOORGIE!!!! EP 82 (The Eyewitnesses): - AYYY DAISY - oh this is a fun episode, "Martin K. Blackwood Learns About Police Corruption" - Daisy is fed up w/ these archivist men lmao - Lord I HATE Elias but listening to him play Daisy like a fiddle is entertaining - g o d this is fun - "i'm gonna kill you someday" get in line Daisy - Martin get his ass EP 83 (Drawing a Blank): - Of COURSE Georgie's right Jon - reiterating: circus bad EP 84 (Possessive): - AWWW MARTIN BEIN A LIL ARCHIVIST - Melanie said "ew who's this nerd give me MY nerd" - w o o f damn Melanie how's your will looking EP 85 (Upon the Stair): - OoOoOh spooky - Statement of Spiral, regarding the Spiral of the Spiral. Audio recording by Spiral, Head Spiral of the Spiral Institute, Spiral. - AYYYYY DELANO!!!!! - Jon complimenting Georgie is p r e c i o u s EP 86 (Tucked In): - Tim is not suited for this mess lmao - ARCHIVAL PRISONER LMAO - g o d the hatred between Tim and Melanie holy shit - I hate angry Tim but now I have sad Tim and now it's WORSE - YESSSS MELANIE AND JON REUNITED AT LAST, MY DARLINGS EP 87 (The Uncanny Valley): - Explain this shit to Georgie gdi - GERTRUDEEEEEE i missed ya you old hag - Circus music? oh hell no EP 88 (Dig): - wow wonder what entity this one's about - BASIRA BASIRA BASIRA - phewwww Martin is mad it's okay little man - dig lil man EP 89 (Twice as Bright): - where the fuck are they Starbucks - Jude Perry is...how you say...hot - JON LMAO YOU MORON EP 90 (Body Builder): - uh oh Dad's fighting with big brother tim - "lmao i left, what're gonna do? FIRE me? i'd love to see it" EP 91 (The Coming Storm): - Mike Crew is just trying to mind his own business - D a i s y please he's just a tiny scared little man EP 92 (Nothing Beside Remains): - E l i a s you cheeky bastard - g a h NOT THE FUCKIN ELIAS COMPULSION SIGH GET THAT SHIT OUT OF HERE - Tim over here like "what have I been TELLING y'all" EP 93 (Contaminant): - A D M I R A L - wtf is this mold - GDI BREEKON AND HOPE  A G A I N? - Georgie is BIG critical of Elias' hiring decisions lmao - Jon and Georgie's interactions are precious I love them - "Jonathan Sims, are you trying to save the world?" I LOVE GEORGIE SO MUCH EP 94 (Dead Woman Walking): - GEORGIE STATEMENT GEORGIE STATEMENT - O H she's deaD? - zoMBIE??? - georgie is immortal in this fear infested world EP 95 (Absent Without Leave): - yaAaAay war statement - lmao Basira is incredible she is simply vibing EP 96 (Return to Sender): - BREEKON AND HOPE BREEKON AND HOPE - Daisy and Sarah: lmao Jon ur dumb EP 97 (We All Ignore the Pit): - who is this sad child w/ Gertrude - YO WTF NIKOLA????? EP 98 (Lights Out): - Tim u are also protective u little hypocrit - mr. sandman, man me a sand - "positively ghoulish book" well golly gee wonder what that is - thank you elias for the murder tips EP 99 (Dust to Dust): - GERTRUDE AYYYYYYYY - Jon's finally puttin some damn pieces together - accept Georgie's help u dumbass - BREEKOOOOOON AND HOOOOOOOPE - Jon is left unattended for five whole seconds and is immediately kidnapped lmao EP 100 (I Guess You Had To Be There): - AWWW MARTIN TAKING LIVE STATEMENTS - Tim ain't cut out for this either lmao - Mr. Smith was strangled to death by Tim after giving that statement that's canon now - i have adhd jonny i can't handle this disjointed episode - PETER LUKAS PETER LUKAS

[cuttlefishkitch]

so after a long convo with @dykivist that started with me talking about Art Student Gerry I now present to you The Magnus Institute College of Art

The main archive crew all met because they have the same shitty advisor (Elias) Who suggested they do the library work study.

Starting with our boy Gerry though, he’s a painting major, but hangs out mostly with design majors, and likes to incorporate words into his paintings. He hangs around the library cause he has beef with a librarian? book arts alumni? weird man who lives in the sewers under the library? that no one else thinks exists (Jurgen Leitner)

Jon is the only one crazy enough to double major. He does Cartooning and Sound Design, and YES Sound Design is an actual major, our department may be lumped in with interactive arts, so our budget, studio space, and hiring resources are all split, but we ARE a REAL MAJOR and what are you talking about I’m not bitter!?

Jon’s animatics are the only ones with sound other than dialogue, and he’s never seen without his little foley mic.

Tim is an illustration major focusing in children’s book illustration because i think that’s cute.

Sasha WAS a graphic design major but quietly switched to animation because she saw this really cool animation of a table.

Martin does ceramics but is a pretty invested in his creative writing minor. He and Jon collaborate to make the coolest slam poetry performance the college has ever seen.

Everyone else is under the cut cause OH BOY

Basira is a graphic design major, and joins the library crew almost immediately after Sasha has to leave the work study because as an animation major she now has No Time, so Basira doesn’t meet Sasha for a while.

She DOES meet a completely different Sasha in the graphic design department, and brings her to lunch with everyone and they’re all SO CONFUSED.

They end up calling this girl Not!Sasha, and while she doesn’t really click with them she shows up occasionally to poke fun at them over the mix up.

Daisy was in the police academy, but dropped out after her furry patreon blew up and she had enough money to go to transfer in. Now she’s That Furry in Tim’s illustration class.

Once she joins the friend group Tim makes a fursona ironically.

Daisy promos it and he gets a lot of new followers but he’s super conflicted about it because they’re FURRIES, and he’s a CHILDREN’S BOOK ILLUSTRATOR!!

Melanie is a Reasonable Film Major who hates all other Film Majors is quoted as saying “FUCK THIS! I’m dropping out to do youtube!” at least twice a day.

One of her student films actually goes viral for a little bit and she uses it to dunk on all the other film majors.

Georgie is a photography major and helps everyone else document their work.

Peter by the way is everyone’s least favorite adjunct professor/board of trustees member. He’s only there to annoy his (currently ex) husband. He teaches exactly one class called The Lonely Artist and it SUCKS. Poor Martin has to take it because it’s the only way he can fill his Art History requirement that semester and he’s suffering.

Gertrude is an art history professor but has been on sabbatical for a suspiciously long time. The only one who’s ever had class with her is Gerry and he insists she’s a very good teacher but he almost died from the work load.

Annabelle Cane is that fibers major who either makes all her own clothes or buys handmade vintage.

John Amherst runs the cafeteria.

Jane Prentiss was a sculpture major who’s thesis revolved mostly around live worms, and they kept turning up EVERYWHERE!!!

Jude Perry is part of a class exchange program with the local business school and decided to take a couple classes here. Every time she something in it's singed around the edges for the aesthetic. She sets her final on fire during crit and isn’t allowed back.

Agnes is a photography major who collabed with her ONE TIME, and now she won’t stop begging to collab again.

Speaking of photography Manuela Domingez is a photo major who refuses to use ANYTHING BUT FILM so she’s always in the dark room. One time Georgie found her asleep in there and got Concerned.

#FreeJared’sBones

Adelard is everyone’s favorite adjunct professor.

Micheal and Helen are both campus cryptids, no one knows if they're professors or students or ????????? sometimes trippy ass art shows up on display with their names on it but no one can tell what discipline it all comes from. If you ask nicely Micheal will sell you LSD, and Helen will help you find off campus housing.

Helen is actually just an architecture student, and that’s just how architecture students are.

Oliver took a class called The Art of Death sophomore year and got real fucked up about it. Ever since then all of his pieces have involved corpses in some way.

now NIKOLA!!

Nikola uses WAY TOO MUCH GLITTER in her pieces which, considering she’s a Performance Art major, is very concerning.

For some reason Elias requires all of the people he advises to go to her thesis show.

They all get drunk for it but Tim gets black out drunk and ruins the whole thing, and for that he gets his work study revoked so his career in the library dies.

Nikola also writes fanfic and turns it in for assignment. Poor Jon gets stuck reading it out loud when they swap for crit. He has to wash his mouth out with soap after she makes him read “everypony” out loud in front of a class of 20.

[thelordofdarkreunion]

Magnificent Scoundrels- Rock n’ Roll

This one is definitely a little late.  Took me a while to write it, and I had to make several changes.  It might be a bit awkward in parts, but that is because I have tried to portray each character faithfully and tried to have them do what they would actually do in the battle scenes.  As per usual, I own none of these characters except for Thomas Drake.  Enjoy!  (Side note: I figured out how to use the “read more” so this won’t be as long in the dash!)   

In the hangar of the Normandy, Adam Vir and Master Chief waited.  The Chief was currently flipping through everyone’s communication channels.  

“Do you really trust this guy, Captain?”  That was the internal communications of the Enterprise.

“No.  And his group of armsmen is putting me on edge.  But we control this ship and we have transporters and they don’t.”  The rest coming from Kirk’s crew was all military and technological jargon.  He flipped to the Apocalypse's internal communications.

“So, the question is: since it’s a fruit, tomato, mixed with sugar, is ketchup a smoothie?”  That was Drake.  Of course it was.  

“Well, by that definition, yes,” said an unfamiliar voice.

“But ketchup has vinegar in it.  And if you think smoothies have vinegar, well, then you really need to reevaluate your life’s choices,” replied someone else.

“An excellent point!  Indeed, what is a smoothie?  Does vinegar belong in your smoothies?” said Drake.  Master Chief shook his head and changed channels.  He had a feeling that if he listened to that conversation for much longer, his head would implode.    

“How did he get that stuff?  Twenty suits of carapace armor, five crates of hot-shot lasguns, ten crates of normal lasguns, a crate of chainswords, and two power swords, all with Imperial markings!”  That was Kasteen, commander of the Valhallans.  “And, Cain, what was that thing?  An Exitus rifle?  I’ve never heard of it.”

“That last one’s the one that worries me.  The reason I know of it is because of my work with Inquisitor Vail,” replied Cain.

“Shit.  You think he stole it from the Inquisition?”

“The only people who have access to those are Inquisitors and Vindicares.”

“Oh he’s beyond frakked.”  The Chief cut the communications as Shepard walked into the hangar bay.  He was wearing a full set of black combat armor with a heavy helmet.  Vir, the other occupant of the hangar, looked up from where he was fiddling with his own armor.  

“Shepard.  Pleased to see you.”   His one good green eye gleamed from under a shock of blond hair.  “Are we ready to go?”  

“Give me a sec.”  Shepard turned to the hooded and violet masked figure that was present with him at the Scoundrel’s first meeting.  “Tali?” he asked the figure.  “Are they going to know we’re coming?”  

“No, commander.”  It was a feminine voice, with a strange and slightly mechanical accent that emanated from the suit.  “The engineers aboard the Enterprise and Apocalypse are quite good at what they do.  It would be interesting to know what all these new people have!  Technology-wise, I mean.  The possibilities of-”  Shepard cut her off.

“Good to know, Tali.”

“Right.  Sorry.  Got carried away.”  

“If you’d like, I’ll give you a tour of the Apocalypse,” cut in Drake’s suave voice over their earpieces.  “That, of course, extends to the rest of you.”  Master Chief keyed his comm.

“You’ve been listening to us this whole time?” he asked.

“Well, I can’t talk about vinegar smoothies forever, now, can I?  To get more to the point, Cain and I are in position, and Cooper and Quill are on their way.  This thing all depends on you, so I suggest you get down here before they notice fifty Imperial Guardsmen and fifteen mercenary armsmen hanging outside their front gate.”

“Yeah, yeah, we’re going.”  They boarded the shuttle, Master Chief having to hunch his massive frame to avoid banging into the doors.  The ride to the muddy-brown planet below them was smoot and silent.  From the window of the transport, they could see the silhouettes of the teams’ starships above them, gleaming in the weak yellow light of the nearby sun.  The atmospheric entry was much smoother than either Vir or Master Chief had ever felt, and the shuttle landed on the planet much faster than they expected.  The shuttle’s three occupants disembarked quickly, professionally, and set out in a trot to the distant specter of the military base.  They arrived on schedule, and found a small electrical access passage, barely tall enough to squeeze through, exactly where Drake’s map said it was.  

Drake checked the timer on his wrist computer.  His armsmen and several Imperial Guardsmen cluster around him, waiting expectantly.

“And...nine minutes and twenty-five seconds for Shepard to get his ass in gear and get planetside.  If you had more than ten minutes, pay up.”  There were grumblings in the crowd, while money and liquor exchanged hands.  One of the armsmen looked up.

“Captain, how long for the other timer?”  Drake checked his wrist again.  

“...nineteen minutes and twenty six...twenty seven seconds since we got here, and they still haven’t noticed over a hundred armed hostiles sitting outside their front gate.”  He made a clicking noise with his tongue.  “Sloppy.  If you bet under twenty minutes, you're probably going to be losing something.”  He glanced over to where Cain and Jurgen were leaning against the compound’s outer wall.  “How are you two holding up?”

Cain looked up from a mug of steaming liquid in his hands.  “Fine.  These people still haven’t noticed us?”  Drake snorted.

“No.  I’m really good at what I do, and they’re really bad.  Honestly, I’m not quite sure how they managed to steal the thing we’re after in the first place.”

On the other side of the compound, Peter Quill paced.  

“What’s taking them so long?” he hissed.  Gamora, his green-skinned second in command, looked up from where she was sitting and sharpening a sword.  

“Relax.  We’re fine.”  

“I know…” Quill trailed off, paced more, then turned back.  “Do you think that these people know what they’re doing?”  Cooper, who had been silently checking his weapons up until this point, spoke.

“Shepard is supposed to be a hero, and a special forces operative, based on Drake’s briefing.”  Noticing Quill’s blank look, he gave a very good incredulous stare, considering he had his helmet on.  “You didn’t read it?”

“Uh...maybe.”  Cooper and Gamora both shook their heads.  

“Shepard’s is apparently very good.  At least, according to Drake.  And the problem with that is we don’t know if Drake is telling the truth about anything.”  Quill considered this.  He did have a point.  

Shepard, Vir, and Master Chief squeezed through the narrow metal electrical duct and into a small, dimly lit concrete room in the basement of the compound.  They brushed plaster dust off themselves before looking up.  Shepard tapped his wrist and some sort of glowing orange hologram sprang to life, covering his let forearm.  The others leaned in and recognized it as Drake’s map of the compound.

“Right.  So we are here,” Shepard highlighted the small room.  “The item is here.”  He traced a path throughout the sun-levels to a large main room in the center of the basement.  “We need to stay low and follow this path.”  Shepard glanced up and pointed at Master Chief.  “You’re a super-soldier, so you’re taking point.”  The Chief nodded.

“Copy that.”  He unslung his weapon, dropped into a crouch, and proceeded forward, the two others following him.  They walked through the concrete and metal halls, weapons at the ready, searching for any sign of life.  Despite being over seven feet tall and clad in bulky armor, Master Chief moved with the deadly silence of a professional soldier.  Twice they were almost caught, but due to their superior training and skills, they melted into the shadows as enemy patrols passed by.  Through more hallways they made their way, hearing the laughter and occasionally fights of mercenaries.  The enemy here was no more alert than they were on the main level, allowing the three to pass through the labyrinthian passageways undetected.  They reached a large open area, where Master Chief suddenly gestured for a stop.  Peering past the Chief’s massive shoulder, Shepard could see why.  The open room was littered with mercenaries, lounging around with weapons still holstered.  By his estimate, there were about twenty of them.  Too many to take on without raising the alarm.  Shepard cursed quietly under his breath, then pressed a finger to his ear.

“Drake,” he hissed.  “We’re blocked.  There’s a group in our way.  We need a distraction.”    

“Distraction you say?”  The three could feel Drake’s smile over the audio.  “Give me twenty.”  

Outside the Compound

Drake slid up to the compound gate’s outside audio panel.  He slid a knife under a small plate at the base of the panel and slid a small rectangular device from his belt into a slot.  

“Let’s see here…” he muttered to himself.  “Are you stupid enough to connect the PA system to the main computer?  Yes...yes you are.”  He tapped several buttons on his wrist computer and took a deep breath.  

Inside the Compound

Shepard and Vir jumped as Drake’s voice crackled from the building’s PA system.  

“Attention assorted idiots.  I am Captain Thomas Drake.  You may have heard of me.  I am here, waiting just outside the front gate.  I am going to kill you all and take back the black box.  Come and get me.”  The message abruptly terminated, and cheery music started playing.  

“Private Perks is a funny little coger with a smile, a funny smile.  Five feet none he’s an artful little dodger with a smile, a funny smile.  Flush or broke he’ll have his little joke…”  Shepard, Vir, and even the superhuman Master Chief started at the loudspeaker as the music played.  

“Drake, what the hell are you doing?” asked Shepard.  

“Creating a distraction,” replied Drake, just as cheerfully as the song.  

“Telling the mercenaries to come and kill you and playing Smile, Smile, Smile is not a distraction,” stated Master Chief flatly.  

“You sure about that?  Look in front of you,” said Drake.  Sure enough, the mercenaries occupying the room had grabbed their weapons and were hustling up the stairs to the main level.  Shepard’s mouth opened and closed like a landed fish, then he sighed.  

“Fine, let’s go.”  As the last of the mercenaries trailed from the room, the three Scoundrels slipped by on their way to the item.  

Outside the Facility

Drake glanced at his wrist computer and nodded at a group of armsmen.  

“Four guards in the compound beyond the gate.  There, there, there, and there.”  He gestured at four spots beyond the wall.  The armsmen nodded and took positions near the gate.  “Overriding and opening the gate in three...two...one go!”  Drake pressed a button and the massive armored gate swung open.  The armsmen stepped forward and fired.  The four mercenary guards pitched forward, dead.  Drake nodded at the remaining Guardsmen and armsmen.  “Right. Through the gate and set up a firing position.  They’ll be coming, probably disorganized, from the main door.”  He pointed at a large armored set of double doors that led inside the main facility.  The soldiers nodded and readied their weapons.  Drake pressed another button on his wrist.  

On the other side of the Compound

“Cooper, Quill, this is Drake.  The mercenaries are going to attack our position while Shepard, Chief, and Vir steal the thing.  Get behind them.”  

“Copy that,” replied Cooper with a nod.  He looked at the large wall in front of them, then took a step back and jumped.  Thrusters on the back of his suit activated and propelled him onto the wall.  He turned his head to Quill and Gamora.  “You two coming?”  Quill scoffed.  

“I can do that.”  He pressed a small button on the top of his boots, and the heels lit up with the orange wash of jet boosters.  Without the grace of Cooper he landed wobbly on the top of the wall.  “See?  Easy.”  Gamora muttered “showoffs” under her breath and accepted Quill’s offered hand to boost her over the wall.  Cooper dropped into the interior compound without a sound.  

“Right.  This way.”  

On the Other Side of the Compound

The heavy armored doors opened and mercenaries, in various stages of preparedness, scrambled out, only to be met with the full firepower of one hundred and three well trained soldiers.  The Imperials’ lasguns spat crimson death that flickered through the muddy air to impact with chests, legs, arms, and heads, burning away flesh and vaporizing the internal organs of the unprotected.  The fire from the Apocalypse’s armsmen was no less lethal.  The boom hiss thump of plasma infused ammunition contrasted with the whining crack of lasguns as small blue and purple explosions blew apart the mercenaries.  Within seconds, the attacking mercenaries were dead.  

“Let’s go!” called Drake as he led his armsmen into the interior.  Cain nodded at the Guard.  

“Forward.  I’ll take up the rear.”  

In the Basement

The mercenaries vault, the storage place of the item Drake was contracted to retrieve, stood in silence over the barren concrete room.  Harsh yellow lights glared from the walls and seemed to be swallowed by the shadows in the corners.  Two guards, weapons held at the ready, stood in front of the vault.  The air split with two cracks.  The two guards fell, two holes blown through their heads.  Master Chief, weapon at the ready, entered the room, searching carefully for any other enemies.  There were none.  He nodded at his two companions.  

“Clear.”  He shouldered his rifle.  “Now how the hell do we get that door open?”  Shepard stepped up to the vault door.  A small, rectangular computer was built into the wall.  Shepard pressed his forearm, and once more the orange hologram appeared.  He tapped the hologram several more times, and the vault door sprang open.  

“Impressive,” noted Vir.  

“I gotta get me one of those,” muttered Master Chief.  They stepped through the circular entrance of the vault, and into the room beyond.  The room was...unimpressive.  It was cluttered with objects, weapons, and boxes of no discernable value.  Master Chief keyed his comm.  “Drake?  We’re in the vault.  What are we looking for?”   There was a whine then the boom of a plasma discharge, which culminated into an abrupt, high pitched scream.  Drake’s ragged breathing could be heard on the other end of the line.  

“What?  Sorry.  Uh...you’re looking for a black box, about half a meter by half a meter.  Should be somewhere pretty prominent.”  

“Here it is!” said Vir.  He held up a black box of the exact length and width.  

“Drake, we have it.”  There was a scream and the crackle of Imperial lasgun fire on the other end of the comm.  “What is going on up there?”  

“We’re fighting the mercenaries…” Boom!  Hiss!  Crack!  “...shit.  We appear to be winning at the moment.  Get up here and kill or capture anyone who gets in your way.”  

“Copy that.”  Master Chief looked at Shepard and Vir.  “Let’s move.”

Cooper, Quill, and Gamora advanced stealthily through the twisting passages of the mercenaries’ compound, weapons at the ready.  For some reason, there was absurdly cheerful music blasting through the PA system.  If Cooper had to guess, he would say that Thomas Drake most definitely had a hand in this.  He sighed to himself, shaking his head, then abruptly stopped and held out his hand.  Gamora instantly stopped and crouched, weapons at the ready.  Quill almost ran into him.  Ahead of the group were two guards, rifles out, looking more competent than any opposition they’d seen today.  Quill raised a gun, but Gamora pushed it down.

“Quiet.  If we go loud, they might have time to radio that we’re here.”  Quill nodded, magining to look mollified behind the red lenses of his helmet.  

“Right.  My bad.  What do we do?”  

“I got this,” replied Cooper.  Before either Quill or Gammora could say anything, Cooper tapped a device on his wrist.  Immediately, his form shimmered and distorted, turning translucent.  He took off running, and both watching pairs of eyes lost track of him.  Gammora thought she saw a faint blur of movement at the top of the hall, near the ceiling, but dismissed it as her eyes playing tricks.  And, just as they started wondering where Cooper had gone, he appeared just as suddenly and silently as he had appeared, this time directly behind the guards.  

Quietly and casually, he stepped behind the first guard, wrapped his arm around the guard’s throat in a chokehold, drew the guard’s sidearm from its holster, and unceremoniously shot both guards through the head.  Quick, brutal, efficient.  Cooper tossed the pistol aside and hefted his own rifle.  

“Let’s keep moving.”  Gamora stared at him.

“Impressive.  I need one of those things.  What are they called?”

“Invisibility Cloak or Pilot’s Cloak.  You can get them pretty easily from where I come from.  Or you could ask Drake.  I’m sure he stole a bunch of them.”  

Drake’s plasma gun spat a ball of molten death at an enemy mercenary.  It melted through the mercenary’s thin armor, blasted through his bones, and disintegrated his organs.  The mercenary only had time for a half scream, half whimper, before his chest was opened all the way through and he dropped to the ground, dead.  One of the Imperial Guardsmen whistled appreciatively.  

“A real plasma gun.  Can’t believe you have one.”  Drake grinned beneath his helmet.

“Cost me a pretty penny.  But definitely worth it, I can assure you.”  His earpiece crackled to life.  “Hang on.”  

“Drake?  Are you behind the music?” asked Quill’s voice.

“Why yes, I am.  Do you approve of my selection?” Drake replied.

“Actually, I was wondering...do you take requests?”  

“Of course I do!  What is your request?”

“Hooked on a Feeling by Blue Swede,” replied Quill with no hesitation.  

“An excellent choice!  Give me a moment.”  Drake pressed another button on his wrist computer and spoke into it with an excellent approximation of a radio D.J.

“Ladies and gentlemen, that has been Pack Up Your Troubles in Your Old Kit Bag and Smile, Smile, Smile, an old favorite from the First World War, written by George Henry Powell.  And next up, by listener request, is Hooked on a Feeling by Blue Swede!  If you would like to place a request, even if you’re on the opposing side, please, feel free to contact me.”  He cut the transmission.  One of the Valhallans turned to her sergeant.  

“This guy’s weird.”  

“Eh, could be worse.  We could be fighting tyranids.  Or necrons,” the sergeant interjected with a shudder.  

Master Chief turned to look at the nearest PA speaker.

“Well, this is definitely something new.”  He turned to his two companions.  “You two don’t seem very surprised by this.”

“Honestly, I am not surprised by anything at this point,” Shepard said with a shrug.  He turned to look at Vir.  “What about you?”

“Happens to me all the time.  What’s a battle without some good music?”  

Jack Cooper shook his head incredulously as the song piped throughout the compound.  

“I have seen a lot over my time in the Militia, but yet I have never been in a battle more bizarre.”  He sighed and fired a burst of shots at a mercenary.  “Oh, well.”  

The Imperial Guard and the Apocalypse’s armsmen, led by Cain and Drake, sliced their way through the enemies ranks like a knife through wet paper.  They stood no chance.  Anything not eliminated by lasguns or assault rifles was obliterated by Drake’s plasma gun.  Drake was leading the charge, cutting down everyone who opposed him with methodical precision.  Drake turned, the eye slits of his helmet winking cerulean blue.  

“Well, I think we’ve-”  He never had a chance to finish, as a particularly large mercenary barreled past a corner and tackled Drake.  Squeezed underneath the larger man, Drake could not get enough leverage to shove him off or hit him hard.  The two combatants rolled and grappled with each other, the armsmen and Guardsmen daring not to fire for fear of hitting Drake.  The large mercenary grimaced and tried to slip his hands under Drake’s helmet to try and throttle him to death.  Drake reached up and placed his left hand on the mercenary's chest.

“Overcharge!” he yelled to the air.  A sharp whine filled the air, then the crack of discharging electricity.  The mercenary flew backwards, twitched spasmodically for several seconds, then lied still.  Drake got up to his feet shakily.  “Well, that was a...shocking experience.”   Several of the soldiers groaned.  “C’mon.  Forward!”  They ran through the maze of dimly-lit hallways, slaughtering anyone they met, until they got to a large room filled with computers overlooking the passageways of the basement.  It looked to be a control room of some sorts, and it was absolutely packed with enemies.  They seemed to realize the superiority of the Scoundrel’s firepower, and so, instead of trying to fight them bullet to bullet, they charged.  

Cooper, Quill, and Gamora rounded the corner of the hallway at a run.  The screeched to a stop when they saw what was happening in the large room in front of them.  A massive group of enemy mercenaries were battling it out, hand to hand, with Drake and Cain’s forces.  

“Well, we can’t shoot for fear of hitting our own side, so…” Quill trailed off.

“So we take them from behind,” replied Cooper.  “You two know how to fight hand to hand?”  In response, Gamora drew a sword.

“Well, I guess that’s a yes,” said Cooper.  He looked over to see a heavily muscled woman bodily pick up and throw Drake through one of the glass panes overlooking the basement.  “Oh boy.  Better get in there.”  They charged.  

Vir, Shepard, and Master Chief emerged from the basement’s tunnels and into a pit-like room overlooked by glass panels.  Suddenly, one of the panels shattered and Drake flew through and landed on the concrete floor fifteen feet below.  He groaned and slowly got to his feet.

“Oh hey there.  Fancy meeting you here.”  Master Chief held out a hand to steady him.  

“Are you alright?”  Drake cracked his neck.

“Maybe.  Hopefully.  Doesn’t much matter.  Let's get up there.”  

“If you’re really O.K.”  

“Yep, I’m good.  What’s the fastest way up?”  Shepard pointed to a set of stairs, but before he could say anything, Master Chief took a running leap, grabbed the broken window’s ledge, and hauled himself up.

“Or...or that will work.”  Vir shrugged and made the same running jump at the same window.  With a whir of powerful prosthetics, he made it in much the same way Master Chief had.  Not to be outdone, Drake jumped for the same window.  He only made it halfway up the wall, but grips built into his forearms and greaves took over and he hauled himself up.  Shepard still stood at the bottom and shook his head.  

“Ok then.  I guess I’ll just take the stairs.”  

The vast majority of the wild melee was focused near the middle of the room.  There, the mercenaries desperately fought against the soldiers of the Imperial Guard.  The mercenaries had thought to take the enemy off balance by charging them, a tactic seldom used in an age of automatic and plasma weaponry, but had not counted on soldiers of other universes, used to fighting in different ways.  The Guardsmen had fixed bayonets, and now wielded the twenty inch blades with lethal efficiency.  However, despite the Guard doing most of the fighting, it was by far the Scoundrel captains who garnered the most attention.  Each fought with their own style, was a death-dealing whirlwind.  

Master Chief fought with a precision that only a genetically enhanced super-soldier could.  A strange, teardrop-shaped  plasma sword was held aloft in one hand, and he brought it down with murderous exactness.  Each stroke was backed by the massive strength of his seven foot frame, and gut through armor and bone as if it didn’t exist.  He was a one man killing machine; he was a SPARTAN super-warrior.  None stood in his way for long.  

Ciaphas Cain used the same practical and lethal fighting style as he did in his duel with the Drev.  His chainsword hummed and its teeth whirred as it cut through muscle and sinew, raising great gouts of blood into the air.  In his other hand he held a laspistol, which cracked off shots at any who were beyond the reach of the deadly teeth of his sword.  

Jack Cooper fought with grace and style.  He danced around the enemy, using the extra speed and mobility of his Pilot’s suit.  His combat knife slid between ribs and through throats, and shots from his sidearm rang out, blowing ragged holes through heads and torsos.  His legs lashed out in the form of powerful kicks, still with a Pilot's grace, and landed on kidneys and knees, knocking his opponents to the ground where he finished them at his leisure.  

Adam Vir fought with a spear, a most unusual weapon of choice.  Nevertheless, he was just as deadly as the rest.  The spear sand through the air, catching and impaling his foes.  It twirled in intricate patterns, and blocked and flicked aside incoming attacks as if they didn’t exist.  He lunged forward towards a panacing mercenary, twisting the spear at the last second so as not to get it stuck in the suction of flesh, then spun around to block an incoming attack.  

Thomas Drake fought dirty.  No trick was too low or underhanded.  His left hand crackled with electricity, stunning and killing any he punched.  A keen-bladed knife was in his right, and he stabbed groins, gouged eyes, and slit throats with impunity.  He bellowed reactive insults while he fought, calling in to question his opponent’s lineage and stature as he charged and hacked and stabbed.  

And Quill...well...he entered the room at a run, then promptly slipped on a puddle of blood and fell face first into the cold concrete floor.  

The Scoundrels gradually whittled down their enemies, one by one, until there was only a small group, fear in their eyes, huddling against the back wall.  The Scoundrels advanced, weapons drawn, and the mercenaries raised their own, prepared for one last defiant gesture.  Then, the air shimmered and distorted, and Kirk and a group of Enterprise crewmen, weapons drawn, appeared as if from nowhere.  

“Hands up,” said Kirk with probably more amusement than was really necessary.  Slowly, the mercenaries lowered their weapons and put them on the ground.  The Scoundrels looked at each other for a moment before Cooper broke the silence.

“Okay.  That was...underwhelming.”  

“What do we do with them?” asked Shepard, gesturing towards the prisoners.  

“Eh.  I say we just leave ‘em here,” said Drake with a shrug.  The others stared at him with incredulity.  

“Wait, wait...you were the one advocating orbital bombardment earlier!”  

“Well, we have the thing now.  No need to kill them, no need to do anything with them really.   We can just pack up and go.  Leave them here.”  The Scoundrels looked at each other and seemed to reach an agreement.  

“Fine.  Let’s go.”  Kirk looked over to Spock and spoke to him in an undertone.

“You know, this didn’t end that badly.  None of the redshirts died!”  As if on cue, one of the Enterprise’s crewmen, clad in black pants and a red shirt, fell over clutching his chest.  One of the Imperial Guardsmen knelt down to check on him. 

“He’s dead, sir!  I think a heart attack.”  Kirk shook his head.  

“You have got to be kidding me.”

After the mercenaries had been herded in the basement and the Scoundrels’ forces were trailing out of the compound, Cain pulled Drake aside.  

“Drake, I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”  

“Of course.  What’s on your mind?”  Cain looked around to make sure no one was listening.  

“Those weapons.  The only way you could have gotten several of them was if you stole them from the Inquisition.”  

“And if I did?” replied Drake.  

“The Inquisition is not an organization you want to steal from.”  Cain loosened his chainsword in its scabbard.  Drake smiled.  

“Funny, actually.  I can.  You see, those weapons I found in a small hidden stash.  Apparently, a rogue and very dead Inquisitor named Filidarus Calzik had hidden them on the very edge of Imperial space.  No one would have ever gone for them, no Imperial would have ever found them.”

“I know of them, now that you’ve told me,” replied Cain, his hands still on his weapons.  Drake laughed, the exact same laugh as when he told the Scoundrels he knew their secrets aboard the Apocalypse.  

“Interestingly enough, weapons were not the only thing I found in that stash.  There was also a computer.  Which is why I know Calzik’s name.  And, on that computer, was...an incomplete manuscript.  An...autobiography.”  Drake smiled again.  “Your autobiography, my dear Cain.”  Cain turned a shade of chalk white.  “Now, consider, if you will, my dear Cain, the fascinating consequences if the contents of that autobiography were to be released to the wider Imperium.  So, yes, I’m quite sure I can get away with stealing from the Inquisition.  Because, no one will ever know anything is missing.  And if they do, they’ll never know it was me, because everyone who knows it was me will not be saying anything about it, now will they?”  With a final parting smile, Drake spun on his heel and strode away, leaving Cain in the semi-darkness of the compound’s hallway.  

That’s it.  Hope you like it.  As per always, feel free to contact me with any complaints, concerns, compliments, questions, requests, or if you just want something cleared up.    

[haberdashing]

open your eyes (i see your eyes are open) (4/?)

Jon, faced with being the last one left in a dying world, sends his memories back in time to someone who might be able to fix things before the worst can happen.

Sasha James, for her part, is very confused.

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4

on AO3

The visit to Artefact Storage was nice, but just like when she’d been reassigned, Sasha was only too happy to get out of there and head to the Archives, though she knew well enough now that the latter was plenty dangerous in its own right. At least she knew what to expect from the Archives. At least the Archives weren’t literally paying her to test out horrible, unpredictable things...

...no, that was Jon’s job now, wasn’t it? Elias had chosen him, the Web had chosen him, and now he was the Archivist, and he was going to be put through things much worse than anything Artefact Storage had to offer...

Sasha had started this train of thought in the hopes of reassuring herself, but instead, as she entered the Archives, she just felt a little queasy as she thought of what lay in store in Jon’s future.

Or what would lay in store in Jon’s future, anyway. Things wouldn’t be so bad this time around, not if Sasha had a say in it.

Jon was already in the Archives, perched over Tim’s desk as the two spoke about something, and Sasha was struck by the sight of him. He looked so different than he had in his final days before, and not just because his skin was free of scars--his hair was short and much less gray than before, he was still wearing a suit of all things rather than the hodgepodge of outfits he’d rummaged through as his professional mask slipped and his options grew slimmer...

...and, as Jon turned her way, Sasha could see his eyes focus on her, and though his gaze was still dark and meaningful, there wasn’t the same weight to it, the same sense of the universe itself staring back out of those deep eyes.

(She still felt like she was being watched, but that was only to be expected now, wasn’t it?)

“Good to see you, Sasha.” Jon shot her a quick nod. “I was just briefing Tim on his next project--you’re still working on the Hodgson file, correct?”

God, that felt like ages ago, though Jon had only given Sasha that assignment last Thursday. The Hodgson file wasn’t even one of the real ones, just somebody who’d gotten drunk and mistook what was probably a plane for an alien vessel, though Sasha was struggling to recall all the details at the moment. “Right, yeah, I was, er, having trouble looking up the relevant flight patterns, I believe it was? But I’ll keep trying, of course, so-”

Jon looked over Sasha again, and his gaze softened slightly. “Are you feeling alright? You look a little pale.”

“I’m fine, I... it’s just, um...” ...hell, she was struggling to come up with an excuse, so why even bother? She wanted to tell Jon about what she’d learned eventually, and perhaps now was as good a time as any. “Actually, could we talk in your office? When you’re done with Tim, I mean, I don’t mean to rush you.”

“I think we’re done here already.” There was a flat tone to Tim’s voice that set Sasha on edge--had he and Jon been arguing, perhaps?

“Oh, yes, we’ve covered pretty much everything I wanted to discuss at this point, so.” Jon rapped twice on Tim’s desk with a slender fist, a gesture Sasha had never seen him use before his promotion but had already encountered several times since. “I’ll leave you to it, then.”

“Sounds like a plan, boss.” Tim’s voice had a bit more energy to it now, and as she walked with Jon to his office, Sasha saw him shoot her a wry grin.

Sasha closed the door behind her and took a seat as Jon got settled.

“What was it that you wanted to talk to me about?”

“Well...”

That feeling of being watched that permeated the Institute was making the hairs on the back of Sasha’s neck stand up, and she knew it wasn’t just because Jon was looking at her with an expression somewhere between curious and impatient.

What were the odds that Elias- that Jonah Magnus was watching them right now? Probably not great, really, he did have an actual job besides just spying on his employees, but he certainly could be watching. Was thinking about it that much more likely to make it happen, drawing his attention to her thoughts? God, it was hard to know, wasn’t it? And that was the problem, being caught up with knowing and not knowing...

“Now that you’re the head archivist here, it’s your job to hear when the general public’s encountered something supernatural, right?”

“If it’s in a statement given to us, yes, but those are usually made by liars and the mentally unwell.”

Sasha did her best to drum up a smile. “Good thing this isn’t a statement, then, right?”

It could be a formal statement, probably, but Sasha didn’t want that, not when anybody with access to their archives could read it afterwards, not when there was information she now knew that could prevent the literal end of the world if the right people acted upon it.

A soft sigh, more perfunctory than anything. Jon was trying to play the grump again, but Sasha was pretty sure she could see through it even without everything she now knew about Jon masking his true feelings. “Where are you going with this, Sasha?”

“This weekend, my mind just- just filled with a ton of information suddenly. Info about you, about the other assistants, about the supernatural, about a little bit of everything really. Things I should have no way of knowing, but now I do. I figured you ought to know--could come in handy down the line.”

“Do you have any proof of this?” Jon tilted his head to one side slightly. “Something you shouldn’t know about me, perhaps--and not just from hacking, either?”

Sasha thought about arguing the point about hacking with Jon, but honestly, it was fair enough that she be called on it. Instead, she just nodded and took a deep breath--not that she really needed the extra air for what she was going to say, but because it felt right, and who was she to deny the moment that extra bit of dramatic flair?

“Mister Spider wants more.”

Jon’s face went pale in an instant, his gaze unfocusing as he seemed to look more through Sasha than at her.

“Jon?”

Jon didn’t respond.

“Jon, it’s okay!” Sasha rapped gently on his desk. “It’s just me. It’s not... it’s not that.”

Jon blinked rapidly a few times before shaking his head.

“You alright?”

“I’m fine.” Jon was clearly not fine, as his hands were shaking slightly and his face still didn’t have its full color back, but Sasha wasn’t going to argue the point. “But I- I’ve never told anybody about that, how did you-”

“I told you. Weird supernatural information shoved into my head over the weekend. Simple as that.”

“Right. You- you weren’t making that up, then.”

It wasn’t really a question, but Sasha answered just the same. “Of course not. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

Jon looked unconvinced, and Sasha suddenly remembered how when “Antonio Blake”’s statement had appeared, Jon had thought only Tim could be trusted to investigate it, only Tim could be ruled out for having written it as a practical joke on his new boss--that felt like an eternity ago, and yet it hadn’t even happened yet...

“You said you didn’t want to give a formal statement, correct? Was there any other action you expected from me regarding this?”

Sasha shrugged. She still wasn’t sure how much she could share, especially here, in the belly of the beast. Maybe in the tunnels, some time... assuming there still were tunnels, and they weren’t being plagued by worms or Not-Thems or murderous Jurgen Leitners...

“I just wanted you to know about it, mostly. I know a lot about these old archives now, so if you’ve ever got a question, I’m glad to do what I can. Not that I wouldn’t be willing to help anyway, but, you know, if I already know the location and validity of statement number 0051701, or whatever, might as well use it, right?”

Jon squinted a little. “What is statement number 0051701?”

“Oh, it’s...” Sasha let out a soft giggle. “We haven’t gone over it yet, but it’s about an old calliope organ.”

“Kuh-LY-o-pee.” Jon corrected.

“Ka-lee-O-pee.” Sasha repeated, a grin growing on her face. “Though there’s really no one correct pronunciation, or so I’ve heard.”

“...right. Well, thank you for letting me know about all this, I suppose.”

“Of course. You are the boss around here, right?”

“As Tim keeps reminding me, yes.”

Sasha stood back up and cracked open Jon’s office door, but before she left entirely, she added, “Seriously, reach out if you need me- or any of us, really. It’s not healthy to spend too long cooped up in here by yourself.”

“Duly noted.”

As the door closed behind Sasha, she could only hope that she was doing enough, that her offers to help would be taken advantage of when Jon needed it most.

[kenmoorman]

Champions League Predictions and Betting Tips - Free Super Tips

Uefa champions league predictions for tuesday - UEFA Champions League Predictions | FiveThirtyEight

Herrera's take: Real Madrid have struggled to look dominant early this season, but they're finally clicking despite the massive injury woes. Goodman's take: A couple of strong performances in the Premier League combined with easily dispatching RB Leipzig in the round of 16 suggests that Jurgen Klopp's team has finally turned the uefa champions league predictions for tuesday and figured out how to cope with their defensive injuries.

The key has been moving Fabinho back into the midfield to shield the more inexperienced center-backs. Madrid, meanwhile have injuries of their own and will rely on the ageless wonder Karim Useful link to keep them in the match.

Rongen's take: City have been imperious since mid-December, winning 24 out of 25 games in all competitions. Erling Haaland -- linked to a move to City -- is capable of turning any game upside down, but Dortmund has structural issues that leave them fifth in the Bundesliga and in danger of missing out on next season's UCL. A comfortable win for Pep Guardiola and Co. Pick: Manchester City 3, Borussia Dortmund 1. Romano's take: Manchester City can uefa champions league predictions for tuesday this match.

The real danger as usual is Erling Haaland, but Borussia Dortmund are struggling a lot in uefa champions league predictions for tuesday months and City are in excellent condition. City will have the tie in hand by the end of the first 90 minutes. Echegaray's take: Erling Haaland is the talk of the town these days, and rightfully so.

He is an absolute force outside and inside the box. But the problem is that against Man City, arguably the uefa champions league predictions for tuesday team in Europe right now, you need more than Haaland. Yes, you need more. BVB's midfield will be overwhelmed by City's ridiculous movement and synchronicity.

Pick: Manchester City 2, Borussia Dortmund 0. Chiu's take: Borrusia Dortmund are without Jadon Sancho thigh against a Manchester City that has won 26 of their last 27 matches in all competitions. It would be silly to bet against Manchester City at this point.

Even though Manchester City have not allowed a UCL goal in minutes, I expect them to at least concede because of Erling Haaland, who has scored 20 goals in 14 Champions League games. It is hard to argue against that stat. Johnson's take: The Germans need an encouraging performance while Pep Guardiola's side is arguably the strongest at this moment in time. You have entered an incorrect email address!

Stay connected. Latest article. Find tips and advice on how to pick the Grand National winner with Marathonbet We're back with our latest EFL Championship predictions We use cookies to provide you with a better user experience.

By using Marathonbet, you agree to our use of cookies and our Cookie Policy. Manage consent. Close Privacy Overview This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored uefa champions league predictions for tuesday your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website.

This number depends on the quality of the league and ranges from one to four teams. Some teams have to play qualifiers to get into uefa champions league predictions for tuesday tournament, while higher-ranked teams are placed straight into the group stage.

Once the qualifiers have taken place, the group stages begin. There are eight groups in total, each made up of four teams. The teams in each group play each other twice, once at home and once away. The top two qualify for the knockout rounds. The knockout stages are as follows: round of 16, quarter-finals, semi-finals, final.

Club Soccer Predictions

Each match-up includes one home leg and one away leg, except for the final, which is a stand-alone match. You can check out the top scorers in the Champions League this season here. The group stage runs from 20 October to 9 December The dates for the knock-out rounds are as follows:. Our Champions League predictions will cover all these crunch matches in fantastic detail. The Champions League final will take place on Saturday 29 May lfague The match will kick-off at at UK Time. It will be held at the Ataturk Olympic Stadium in Istanbul.

Being part of the Bayern Munich side helps of course. He has article source in uefa champions league predictions for tuesday for the defending champions again this season with three goals in the group stages, including two in the away win at Red Bull Salzburg. However, he faces a battle to again be the Champions League top scorer. All of those players, bar Rashford will have the chance to add to their totals in the knock-out stages.

On five goals are Oliver Giroud of Chelsea, four of which came in the win away at Sevilla. Choose your top goal uefa champions league predictions for tuesday at Tuessday Hill. So, the scene is set therefore for a fascinating Champions League. Bayern Munich were way above the rest last season and won every game. Can they win the title again? Will Liverpool prove to be a dominant force again? All those betting opportunities to come and our team of experts will help you get some tuesdday in the months to come.

They predictiosn provide you with excellent previews, packed with key statistics and showing you just why they think their tips will become winners. Check out the site for all the latest news and odds. Select your Champions Predicrions winner at Bet Would you like to go on our mobile site for a better experience?

Exclusive offer. See the offer. Betting tips Football Champions League. All the competitions. Predictins Competitions. Betting Tips Odds Live. Paddy Power preductions be a bookmaker to consider in this particular market. This also counts for extra time goals and penalty permutations, which will come in handy in the latter stages of the tournament, so keep your eyes peeled yes, Liverpool fans, we mean you.

Spursy, really. Another market that is very easy to punt on, and obviously, put those Champions League betting tips and foe to good use. Which, given the kind of players about the various teams, should be pretty simple to cop out on. Last year, it was the likes of Uefa champions league predictions for tuesday Lewandowski, Serge Gnabry, Neymar who were racking up the shots, adding to the xG, and putting the opposition keeper through the rounds — though not tuesdah scoring see the many Neymar misses and uefa champions league predictions for tuesday. Champions League games can be spicy affairs, with plenty of angst and anger going uefa champions league predictions for tuesday. Strikers are always the players at fault for lazy offside calls, either strolling back into onside territory, or too eager with their predicrions.

Well, what if you could put your Champions League tips to good use on these moments?

[pass-the-bechdel]

Alias s02e21 ‘Second Double’

Does it pass the Bechdel Test? Yes, twice, barely.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Four (25%).

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Twelve (75%)

Positive Content Rating: Three

General Episode Quality: Hard-hitting.  

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:

Passing the Bechdel: Sydney tells “Francie” the truth about her job. Irina tells Sydney that she’ll be needing a favor.

Female Characters:

Sydney Bristow

“Francie Calfo”

Irina Derevko

Sarah

Male Characters:

Michael Vaughn

Sark

Will Tippin

McCain

Jack Bristow

Marshall Flinkman

Kendall

Marcus Dixon

Garth

Hans Jurgen

Jens

Arvin Sloane

 Additional Notes:

We’re told early this episode that Will now qualifies for a senior analyst position, and I don’t believe a word of it, given that he’s been an analyst for all of four minutes. 

The details surrounding doubling are slightly different from those given in “Double Agent.” We were told then that double’s eyes were made intentionally different, in order to be able to tell who was who, but here it’s just “doubles have particular proteins.” Similarly, provacilium, the drug mentioned here used by doubles, was not mentioned at all in that previous episode.   

Alias characters have never been careful about ensuring that they’re not able to be overheard, but even so Sydney’s behavior in front of Faux Francie is especially egregious—especially after she’d told her that she was barred from sharing information.  Be a better spy, Sydney. And while you’re at it, actually suspect Francie, if you’re not going to believe Will is a double? 

Remember when Will was arguably the show’s deuteragonist, with his own supporting cast, setting, and mini-show-within the show?  Alias sure has, and has been stuck pretending that it’s still interested in him. And it’s a damn shame, too, because there was a real spark in his story, especially near the end.

Still, we’ve finally gotten a Will episode, and it’s good. Granted, it’s a bit of an idiot plot, but the emotions feel good, the parts of it that aren’t stupid are really clever—hypnotizing Will so that he forgets things the more he tries to remember them is sadistic genius—and really, I’m just so happy to see Will get some focus.

[thealmightyemprex]

1970′s Bond films ranked

the 1970′s are reallly were an interesting peiod for Bond .Lot of trend chasing  and films that range from camp to big spectacles .Also it’s interesting cause even if the films are flawed,I dont dislike the 70′s Bond films 

5.Diamonds Are Forever (1971)

Connery’s last time as Bond....Unless you count Never Say Never Again.....Or the From Russia With  Love video game-LAst time in an official Bond film! It’s often callled Connery’s worst but I dunno  I like it better then You Only Live Twice or   Thunderball .Like it’s not great but it’s overhated .Yes the effects are bad !Yes it is jarring as hell to watch this AFTER On Her Majesties Secret Service  with how campy and tacky this film is.Yes, Tiffiny is dumb!Yes,Plenty’s death comes out of nowhere ! Yes Vegas is kind of a lame setting for a Bond adventure !.......Buuuuuuuuut I dig the campiness ,I think Connery is  better here then he was in You Only Live Twice ,Jill St John delivers a fantastic performance (She is fun to watch ) ....And I might get hate for this but I  kind of love Charles Grey as Blofeld ,he is so camp it’s hard for me not to love him .But my favorite thing about the movie and probabbly why I dont hate it like everyone else does is I love the films heavies Mr Wint and Mr Kidd .They are an assassin couple who share a dark sense of humor ,and I just adore Bruce Glover and Putter Smith performances ,with Glover being very smooth and slimey as Wint while Smith is very flat and matter of fact as Kidd,they compliment eachother well.I dunno I know people hate this movie but  I cant bring myself to HATE it 

4.The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)

Hoooooo boy  Imma have to explain myself here....I know this is considered one of the BEST Bond movies......It just does very little for me .It’s a well made movie,Carley Simons theme song is great ,Roger Moore is fantastic  ,the sets are gorgeous and Jaws is one of the best henchmen in the series ,being bothe scary but also strangely likeable (Being one of only three recurring villains in the entire franchise ),the story of two agents from opposing factions being forced to work together is great......But the Bond Girl and villain suuuuuuuucccccck.Triple X is supposed to be Bonds equal ,but she is just a damsel in distress most of the time  and Barbra Bach is so wooden .Stromberg is one of the lamest villains  ,Curd Jurgens is too subdued ,we dont reallly get a great dynamic between him and Bond  ,and he’s just not in the movie a lot .The film itself doesnt wow me....But I think it’s a good movie ,I think it’s a good starter Bond film ,just kind of meh for me personally  

3.The Man With The Golden Gun(1974)

Ok.....This film is flawed.The Writing on Bond is too mean,Roger Moore seems uncomfortable ,Goodnight is about as intelligent as a rock ,and the main evil scheme doesnt fit with the personality of the villain,feeling very shoehorned in .That said ,I stilll like this film a lot .Maude Adams as Scaramangas mistress  is a tragic characer and a great performance ,there are many  memorable scenes including an impressive car stunt ,Soon-Tek Oh (Who most will know as the father in Mulan ) as Lieutenant Hip is one of my favorite Bond allies .Above alll else the villains are what make this film.Herve Villechaize is fantastic as the henchman Nick Nack who works for the  villain ,Scaramanga but under the understanding that if Scaramanga dies he inherits Scarmangas island home (Which is an AWESOME villain lair complete with a deadly  fun house ).Francisco Scaramanga is my FAVORITE Bond villain, played EXCELLENTLY by Christopher Lee ,a dark mirror of James Bond ,a deadly assassin who loves to kill ,views Bond as his equal and is a deadly shot with his signature golden gun .One of my favorite scenes in the film is where Scaramanga details his backstory of befriending an elephant in the circus ,it’s a great villain origin.It’s a flawed film and  I wont disagree that  Spy Who Loved Me is technically better ,but I just enjoyed this film more,and it’s a fun film to me 

 2.Moonraker(1979)

Well I imagine most of my oppinions are unpopular ones so here we go.....This is one of my FAVORITE Bond movies.....Yes,the one where he is in space is one of my favorites .In truth the finale in space is kind of where my attention starts to drift ,but I honestly love this movie .I love the relationship between Bond and Holly Goodhead ,Roger Moore is at his best , Jaws is back which is awesome(And gets his own mini  subplot about falling in love ,which is adorable),lot of great action,space battles ,and one of my favorite Bond villains Hugo Drax,a meglomaniac who wants to start a master race ,he’s very  quiet and reserved while still having this larger then life melodramatic air to him. He also has such a fun  dynamic with Bond a ,obsessed with giving Bond,in his words ,an“Amusing death “ .Surprisingly there are some great scenes of horror in this film,while also having fun campy scenes .Yeah this film can be silly  but I like silly,and I like this movie .....Theme song sucks though 

1.Live and Let Die 

This  was my first Bond film so naturally it holds a special place in my heart .It’s a good intro Bond film ,for it being Roger Moores first film as Bond he comes in swinging ,he is great in this movie.I love Jane Seymour as the Bond Girl Solitaire ,with a sympathetic backstory (Although there is one plot element that is kind of cringey and skeevy ).David Hedison plays Felix Leiter and is in my oppinion the BEST Felix (So glad they brought him back for Licence to Kill ) .The film also introduces Sheriff JW Pepper ,who is a love him or hate him type character and honestly he is so over the top and qoutable ,I kind of love this goofy character .The villain ensamble is great ,with Whisper (a man who speaks only in a whisper) and Tee Hee ( a man with a mechanical claw for an arm and who constantly laughs ) being fun henchmen.The big baddie Kananga I feel is an underratted villain ,with Yaphet Koto giving the character a sense of charm and intelligence but with a rage bubbling under the surface .However the scene stealing character is  Geoffrey Holder as Baron Samedi,he only has a few lines and is only in a few scenes but Holders physicality ,imposing stature ,bombastic laughter ,natural charisma,help bring this very strange and enigmatic character to life .Set pieces are magnificent including a double decker bus chase ,a boat chase ,and a memorable scene involving an aligator farm .(Also film contains,my favorite villain death in the series .or at least the bad guy  death that has stuck with me the most cause.....It is so bizarre ) .This film is one of my favorite Bond films....AND THAT THEME SONG SLAPS 

[thevoidcannotbefilled]

for the character thing, tim!!

Anon you’re too powerful, your ask sent in twice. Know this ask has the power of two. 

give me a character

How I feel about this character

It’s weird? I don’t have many Tim opinions because I generally enjoy the opinions that people have of him around me. I love hearing from him. Sad that he’s gone but satisfied with his arc. Honestly, don’t have much to say that wouldn’t be a full blown analysis. Tim, good. 

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Anyone in the Archive crew basically. Sasha/Tim is tragic. MarTim is amazing. JonTim is also SUPER tragic (and not so tragic in the right fics). JonMarTim is def cathartic. I don’t have an OTP but Tim generally brings a good dynamic with whoever he’s paired with. 

My non-romantic OTP for this character

SASSSSSHAAAAAAAA

My unpopular opinion about this character

I don’t really want to hear from Tim again? If we do, I would only want it to be like in a mocking way like they did with Jurgen and Gertude in season 3. The tapes were enough for me, and I don’t really want a haunting to take place. But, if nothing else, Tim deserves to rest and not be brought back. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

As much as I adored the tapes we got of him in season 5, I wish we got to see more of the earlier version of Tim beforehand. Yes, it was tragic to see him after and see what we missed, but I also think that would have made the turn from the happier Tim to the late season 2/season 3 Tim hurt a lot more. Especially with scenes like in Binary where Jon said he couldn’t trust Tim. 

[virgyvandijk]

Could I have something based on the 'fog' prompt, please? I am a sucker for angst, lol!

It all happens so fast.

It’s cliche to say that and Jordan knows it, but that doesn’t stop it from being true. Because one minute, he’s standing a matter of yards behind Virgil, watching him bounce around in the penalty box like a kid who’s had too much sugar, the way he always does. It’s his preparation. He’s got to make sure he’s ready to jump.

The next, he’s nothing but a heap on the floor, still and unmoving. 

Nobody even realises. They don’t stop, all tussling and shoving each other. Thankfully no one stands on him or trips over him or – whatever. Jordan wants to shout, to warn them, but his mouth won’t work and his feet won’t move. He can’t do anything. He’s frozen.

His mind finally kicks into gear when he sees someone’s boot, far too close to Virgil’s head for comfort. It’s only been a matter of seconds but it feels like hours, and he already hates himself for not doing something sooner. He drops to his knees, right next to Virgil’s side, and shouts. The words don’t make sense, he’s pretty sure of it, but it’s enough that people notice. 

The referee blows his whistle. Joe gestures for the medical team to hurry. A flash of bright orange – the stretcher, it’s the stretcher – and Jordan feels sick. Virgil still hasn’t opened his eyes, still hasn’t sat up and snapped at him for fussing.

“Jordan?” Dr Massey says. He looks positive, hopeful – even though he must be panicking. Jordan breathes out, and reminds himself that Virgil is in the best hands he can be. “Did you see what happened?” 

“Just, erm, a clash of heads,” Jordan says, but it’s a struggle to get the words out. He looks up at Dr Massey and sees two of him, but he forces the tears back and touches the inside of Virgil’s elbow. It’s the only part of his body that he can reach, because the rest is surrounded by medical staff, hi-vis jackets everywhere. “Is he going to be okay?” 

“We’ll take good care of him,” Dr Massey confirms, but that’s not a yes. 

Jordan feels like he’s underwater. Everything sounds muffled and the hands on his back don’t feel real, but he shrugs them off anyway. He thinks it’s James, trying to drag him away, but he’s going nowhere. Not until Virgil wakes up, not until he knows he’s okay.

He hears, weakly, the only thing he wants right now.

“Jord,” Virgil breathes, quiet and raw. He coughs, retching as his upper body twists to the side, but then just as quick as it happened, he collapses back against the turf with heavy gasps. Dr Massey nods that it’s okay, so Jordan tangles their fingers together, cradling their hands in his lap.

“You scared me,” Jordan says, but it’s not as scolding as he intends it to be. It’s weak and shaky, and Virgil laughs, like he knows that. “Don’t you ever do that again. How are you feeling?” 

“Like I’ve just been hit by a truck,” Virgil murmurs, tilting his chin down so he can look at Jordan properly. That doesn’t do him any good though, because he groans, head falling back again as he lifts his free hand to his face. “My head is killing.”

Jordan breathes out a laugh, but it doesn’t last long. Virgil’s eyelids are slipping closed again and he doesn’t react to Dr Massey’s questions, just lays there, silent and unmoving. If seeing it once was bad – then seeing it twice is indescribable. 

“What’s going on?” He asks, and gets ignored. James’ hand is on his back again and he shakes him off, because Virgil is the only thing that matters right now. “Andrew, what’s going on? Why is he––?” 

“We don’t know, Jordan. We don’t know,” Dr Massey says, mouth set in a thin line. He finally meets Jordan’s eye and his gaze is apologetic, pitying and it makes Jordan feel ill. “Concussion is unpredictable with every case. We need to get him to the hospital as soon as possible, and then we can figure out what’s happening.”

He lets go of Virgil’s hand so they can load him onto the stretcher, and feels lost without his touch. Stands when the paramedics do, takes his hand again, squeezing his fingers. Watches his eyes flutter open, and the relief floods his body. 

“What’s happenin’?” Virgil slurs, eyes locked on Jordan’s face like he’s somehow got all the answers. He doesn’t. He doesn’t even know how to calm himself down, let alone Virgil.

“Concussion,” Jordan says, thumb brushing across his knuckles. He walks alongside the stretcher, would follow it all the way to the hospital if he could, but they only get as far as the centre circle and then Virgil starts to lose consciousness again. His heart pounds, choking him, and he tries not to panic. “Stay awake, Virgil, please.” 

He doesn’t know what to do. Wants to go with him, wants to tell him he loves him and be there for him and make all of this better, but the team needs him. Anfield is so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Their teammates look helpless.

He doesn’t know what to do.

Klopp stops him from following them all the way down the tunnel with an arm across his chest, and then he pulls Jordan into his side. At this point, he isn’t sure who Jurgen is trying to protect.

“I can take you off if you want to go with him,” Jurgen says, quiet and behind his hand so the cameras don’t pick it up. His touch is warm and comforting. Jordan didn’t even realise how much he needs it. “Some things are more important, Jordan.”

“I’m –” Jordan says, looking up at the time board. Eleven minutes plus stoppage time to go. Will be a lengthy one, so twenty minutes all in all. He takes a minute to let it sink in, then straightens his spine. “I’m fine. I’ll play.”

“Are you sure?” Jurgen says, frowning. He puts a hand on Jordan’s shoulder and pushes gently until they’re facing each other, and then scrutinises his face. “Nobody would blame you, Hendo, if your head wasn’t in it. I can take you off.”

He takes a look across to the pitch. To Robbo, who looks haunted. To Gini, who looks almost as bad as Jordan feels. To James, who’s got his bottom lip caught between his teeth and is watching Jordan closely.

“They need me,” Jordan says, shaking his head. His decision is made. He won’t change his mind. “The boys need me.” 

rest prompts

[mayjeffneverstopyou]

1, 4, 7, 12 for the tma asks, if you want!!

1. entity you’d most want to be an avatar for? i mean,,,,,,,,,, THE VAST BAYBEEE this one is.... i feel Painfully Obvious if you read my tag ramblings lol

4. favourite fear domain from s5? hm so im Always a slut for the vast and that ep was Incredible but also the lonely episode made me fucking break down crying so... OH WAIT no the web! the web domain was chilling and executed so well and i think is the one that i would be most terrified to be trapped in.

7. do you fucking hate jurgen leiter? JURGEN LEITNER? STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING JURGEN LEITNER GODDAMN FOOL BOOK COLLECTING DUST EATING RAT OLD BASTARD SHITHEAD IDIOT BIGGEST CLOWN AT THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN COWBOY MOTHERFUCKING JURGEN LEITNER (okay i dont actually hate him that much tbh Yes i hate him but i hate other people more *cough cough* elias bouchard)

12. episode youve relistened to the most? im In The Process of relisteng to all my faves rn so i havent actually relistened to any that much but one that Stuck With Me and i HAVE relistened to it once or twice is freefall :) 

thank u so much sting!! i probably rambled a lil too much here but i have magnus archives brainworms like so many of us do and i am Physically Incapable of stopping myself talking about it my irls are getting a bit annoyed lol. thanks again!

[madamquacklemore]

Chapter 7-Deadliest of Revelations

a/n apologies everyone for the slow updates.. so here in this chapter we will see all sides coming into the action celts and Danes and perhaps anwser any Q's you have regarding them. enjoy!

There's a game That I play There are rules I had to break There's mistakes That I made But I made them My way

Black Lab-This night

FINAN

He was almost certain it had been a dream as he hesitated before opening his eyes. He just new he would find himself in his tent alone. Sighing Finan opened his eyes slowly and found himself staring up at a ceiling he didn't recognise.

Did that mean-

Finan turned on his side to find her there curled up facing him.

Oh lord in heaven it wasn't a dream.

Smiling to himself he reached out and tucked her hair behind her ear thumbing her cheek relishing the night before. Finan cringed at the thought he had literally cried in her arms but she had said nothing and that was all he needed. He showed her a part of himself he didn't even recognise and she had quite literally accepted him with open arms. As if he suddenly realised how uncomfortable it was to be watched while sleeping he went on his back  and wrapped an arm around her cherishing the warm of her body alongside his. He could get used to this as he thought.

Stirring slightly Tarian snuggled closer to him head on chest she murmured "Mornin' Finan."

"Good morning my love" he whispered kissing the top of her head.

He remembered her words how there was much they needed to talk about Christ he didn't even no where to begin. Neither of them had easy starts to this world that was certain but Finan didn't want to think about that now. Life was short all one could do was live in the moment and with her in his arms and by her side that moment was all the better.

"We should probably get up" she yawned.

"Aye they'll have guards breaking through any minute to find their missing warriors."

"They'll think us deserters."

"Let them break in I have no plans to go anywhere any time soon." Finan laughed softly.

"Who says I would let you anyway?" she teased looking up at him with a look  that made him weak in every part of his body-

almost every part

.

"Am I to be your prisoner lady?"

"You are indeed my prisoner Irishman mine to do with whatever I wish."

Before the prisoner could say another word his beautiful captor straddled him and pinned his hands to his sides. Finan the agile was going nowhere anytime soon.

POWYS

With his brother dead Ruari was now the de facto leader of southern Gywnedd and Powys a considerable amount of land and power to be sure however the position was not secure-not yet. With both his younger brother and various cousins all laying claim to this prestigious title Ruari was going to have to be clever. There was also the subject of his niece Tarian  if she comes back or rather when she does which side will she chose? Who would she marry? One of his advisers had suggested he marry his own niece not unheard of but the idea still turned his stomach. Ruari had been his sister's favourite brother to marry her daughter seemed insulting but he new he would never bring himself to kill her. As cowardly as it sounded he had half hoped the Danes would do it so he wouldn't have to and his conscience would be clear.

"I do not believe she would challenge your rule lord" Arthfael told him for what felt lie the one hundredth time. It was bad enough their previous leader had been paranoid he did not need this a second time the more time he thought about it the more he was sure Merfyn was behind Tarian's kidnapping there was only one way to be certain. Arthfael always felt Ruari though younger was the wiser of the two brothers and he prayed to the Gods he was right as he would need Ruari's permission to seeing these answers.

"She might not do it directly but through her another could be." Ruari said absent mindly looking out the window.

"You believe her to be that weak?"

Ruari did not answer the elder man and seemed lost in thought. After an uncomfortable silence he turned to face him. "What is it you want Arthfael you are not one for small talk and I have my advisers for council."

"As you no my lord there has been two attempts on Tarian's life both from the Danes and from our own people I wish to get to the bottom of this Lord."

"And you think what? A trip to Frankia to the great Jarl Jurgen would give you these answers?"

"Yes Lord I do.

"And what if it his him behind all of this? What if it is part of some plan to take our lands from us?" Ruari spat like his brother before him there was nothing he hated more than Danes not even Saxons. "Do not forget he is the reason my sister-your dearest friend-is parted from us."

"I do not believe he would harm his daughter."

Ruari scoffed at the thought.

"I am serious Lord I do not believe he means harm for his daughter."

"Then why is there a large price tag over her head?"

"That is simply how Danes do things. My Lord may I speak plainly?" Arthfael was no fool he knew though despite being the more reasonable of the brothers Ruari still saw Tarian as a threat or certainly as a possibility of becoming one. Tarian was highly respected warrior despite her age her prowess on the battlefield was becoming legend better than her mother and comparing her to her grandfather before her. And with her mother's look s it was only a matter of time for many a man to come knocing. One in particular-Arawn-made Arthfael nervous. He was highly ambitious and a greedy man at that twice Arawn had approached Arthfael to marry Tarian and both times he was refused. He was ten years older than Tarian and watched her close enough to put him on edge and upon his life Arthfael was sure Arawn had something to do with what had happened to her.

"Tarian is something of a commodity as you know yourself should she meet her father here what he has to say then perhaps she may join him and leave these shores. If the great Jarl Jurgen truly wanted this island for himself he would have invaded by now and joined that Danish earl Guthrum at Ethandun which he did not do. It is common knowlegde that Jurgen is happy in Frankia and has no wish to leave its warmer shores. It is also common knowledge that Tarian has no desire for power-she had made that clear from the start." "If what you say is true then it is worth looking into I suppose." Ruari sighed. "With your permission I get everything underway." Arthfael made to leave the room. "No Arthfael I will need you here. You will send your nephew-the mutt." Ruari ordered him. Arthfael hated it when his nephew was referred to as such. Like Tarian he too was half Dane but that is where the similarities end as Illewyn torn between wanting to no more of his Danish culture and pleasing his Celt leaders that he had learnt the language to serve their land. And unlike Tarian his mother did not find love with a Dane quite the opposite his birth had been a product of something against her will. Illeywn's mother had died in childbirth and as his own wife was barren Arthfael took Illewyn and Tarian into his care. "As you wish it lord." Arthfael bowed and left the room hoping IIlewyn had  kept up his Danish he would need it.

Frankia two weeks later.

The great Jarl Jurgen had long given up making conversation with his new bride at dinner times. She was like a timid mouse and he the lion such was the way with arranged marriages he new that but he wasn't the worse man her father could have sold her off too and he had learnt her language but she barely looked at him and only spoken when spoken too. These damn Christians and their frightened little women. Give him a wild brave warrior woman any day. Since her death the great Jarl had still not replaced her and now he was moving heaven and earth to find their daughter and have her where she belongs at-his side. Jarl Jurgen scarcely remembered his daughter just that she had her mother's beautiful red hair and his eyes. 

This very evening word had reached him that a Celt from across the water was hear to speak to him. The young Celt man was no warrior but spoke relatively good Danish so the Jarl had allowed him to pass. There was only one man who could have arranged for a messenger and that man was the caretaker of his daughter. A knock on the door and the messenger's presence was announced. "You will leave me wife." he ordered. The woman looked at him what a night to try and be defiant he thought bitterly as she hesitated. "Now." he repeated. His young bride slowly got out of her chair and gracefully left the room as slow as possible. Was she deliberately trying to antagonise him it seemed so. "What is your name and on behalf of whom to come for?" Jarl Jurgen asked after the Celt had paid his respects.

"Illewyn Lord Arthfael sends me." Illweyn replied. "Well boy?" Jarl Jurgen finished chewing on a chicken bone "What does Arthfael have to say to me?" "Merfyn is dead the future of our kingom is uncertain." "And you are telling me this because?" "There have been two attempts on Tarian's life the first she was kidnapped seemingly on your orders-" "I am already aware of this that man now sits in a cell awaiting my decision whether or not to spare his life. The second?" "Was by one of ours." Jarl Jurgen stopped what he was doing and was now staring hard at the young man who was doing his best not to falter under inspection and failing. "What. Do. You. Mean.? He said dangerously. Illewyn gulped there was no point at hiding it anymore Jarl Jurgen was also nown as the the ruthless Jarl amoungst the Danes and with just one loo Illeywn saw why. "Tarian had found shelter at the home of a noble Saxon family and sworn in her allegiance to Uhtred the Dane Slayer." he said a little too quicly. Was he even supposed to tell the Danish Lord all of this information? He did not now all Illewyn new was that Arthfael had promised he would be safe as Jurgen wanted his daughter safe and by his side. "Uhtred? The Uhtred Ragnarson?" he asked Illewyn nodded slightly alarmed when the great Dane burst into laughter. There was nothing remotely entertaining about this news to an outsider but give the fact that some minor lord by the name of Cnut had asked for his support in overthrowing the last of the Saxons (which he had denied) it was sort of funny in a twisted sense to Jurgen himself. He could have faced the prospect of facing his daughter on the battlefield oh Loki and his games he smiled shaking his head. "Go on." "One of ours had fired a poison arrow at her but she was given the anecdote and lives. Tarian's would be assassin was dealt with but Arthfael still believes a threat to her life exists as Tarian will have to return to her homeland one day." "Of course Arthfael does and Tarian naturally is in contention to the ruling of your kingdom I imagine many an ambitious man wishes to marry my daughter and take the land for themselves would that be correct?" Illeywn nodded. "Very well you will come with me and you will tell Arthfael everything you see him." Illeywn followed the large Dane out of his dining room and down a narrow staircase to the dungeons all cells were empty bar two.

 The first contained two women the guard unlocked the cell and the two men waled in. The women were not chained and appeared to have been treated rather well despite being a cell. "Ladies." the Jarl greeted them in Saxon english and then turned to speak to the older woman "You'll have to excuse your living conditions after your daughter attacked my guards I didn't have a choice" The elder woman seemed understanding but her daughter did not. She had a plain face but her eyes were like golden amber as Illewyn was taken aback by her courage or was it foolishness to be so defiant? "Why are we here Dane? You had us brought to Frankia for what exactly? You are in no need of a wife and I would not be your whore" she spat. "Edhita!" the elder woman hushed. Jarl Jurgen merely laughed "I'd not have you anyway girl. You have information I need and you were told you would be paid were you not?" he said directly to the elder woman. "Yes Lord. What is it we can help you with?" the elder woman asked. "Mother!" "You were a slave on my estate when I lived near the welsh border." The elder woman nodded "Yes Lord." "You were there the night it was attacked the night my wife and daughter were taken from me?" he asked quietly. "Yes lord." "Tell me what you told my guard." "She was murdered lord by one of her own" she said giving a cautious glance in Illewyn's direction. "You saw this?" the Celt asked. "I did lord. She was a lovely woman your wife Lord her daughter and my daughter would play together." "Do you remember the face of her killer?" "As clearly as I see you Lord. He was barely even a man and had a blue mar in his forehead a circle like the sun. He tried to take her but she resisted I saw him slit her throat he hit the child over the head took her away forgive me lord I couldn't-" "There is nothing to forgive woman there was nothing you could have done." he said solemnly. "You both are free to go" reaching into his pocket he gave them each some silver for their trouble and fair ordering the guard to escort them to the port. "Do you now the man she speak of?" "I believe so Lord." Illewyn was in a state of shock . He  knew Arawn was ambitious and possessive but he didn't no that back then he would be capable of such things murdering a woman in front of her own child? And why? None of this made any sense. "His name is Arawn his father is on the council." "Is he a warrior?" "Yes Lord he has earned himself reputation." Jarl Jurgen was silent which surprised Illewyn he had expected a ferocious rage breaking of things howling at the moon that time of thing but he would soon learn that silence was equally as deadly.

The only prisoner left was another Dane Illeywn vaguely recognised him as a trader near their border his name escaped him.  "Egil." The lord said simply.  This prisoner had not been as well taken care of. Chained to the wall one eye so swollen it could not open dried blood and open wounds on his chest and a particularly nasty one on his left side.  "Jarl" he spat up blood.  "You no why I am here?"  "To deliver me to Valhalla lord?" "There is no Valhalla for dishonourable traitors. And that is what you are Egil. I am here to put an end to your suffering."  It had turned out that Jarl Jurgen had not organised the kidnapping of his daughter. Whilst he had offered a reward for information he had specifically expressed that his daughter was not to be harmed in anyway and this man had nearly gotten her killed. 

"What of the Danish lover Gustaf I keep hearing about?" "One of my men  killed him when she tried to escape. Lord please I beg-" but the desperate man's pleas were falling on deaf ears. The Jarl remembered Gustaf well his father had served him well and taught both his daughter and Gustaf the bird call they used to use in their childhood games. "Who was your contact?" the Jarl demanded. "He  didn't give us his-" "What did he look  like?!" he roared. "Not much older than your daughter lord tattoo on his forehead...circle." Egil spat up more blood. "Lord please I beg-" Pulling out his long-sword Jarl Jurgen beheaded the prisoner with one mighty swipe. Breathing heavily with the prisoner's blood spattered on his face he turned to loo at a terrified Illewyn. "You. You will tell Arthfael everything. This Arawn will die by my hand or Tarian's only. Is that clear? Tell him I will be coming. "

@laketaj24 @geekandbooknerd @itzmegaaaaaaan @ariellostatci @tesstrash @medievalfangirl @therealcalicali @sprinklesthrows17 @xthezodiacage

[positivelyamazonian]

Have you heard of Chase Carver from the TopCow Tomb Raider comics? If so, what is your opinion of him?

Yes, of course, I’ve read all the TopCow series and I know Chase Carver well. As it happens with everything that are not the Core Design videogame series, I don’t consider the comics canon. They didn’t respect Lara’s biography and later, even the makers of the comic series, Andy Park (illustrator) and Dan Jurgens (writer) admitted they had never played a Tomb Raider, and they were never in contact with Core Design. Pretty much the same that Simon West when making the first TR movie.

So a product that has not the minimal contact with the source doesn’t deserve for me to be considered canon. That’s why I never took Chase Carver seriously. You know he was written to be Lara’s partner, also her ex-lover and potential love interest. But even if we consider the comics canon, I think I can’t take this character seriously in any way.

Your average blue prince: booze, porn and filth. Perfect for your home.

Chase Carver is a grave robber like Lara, American, the typical drunk, porn consumer and womanizer macho. In the moment when the series start, Lara is not anymore with him but holds a big grudge against him because, basically, he used her in the past. Later we find out that he was lover of her just to use her money to gamble and lose all of it in Montecarlo’s Casino, and while Lara was still with him, cheated with other women and finally, took advantage over her and stole her a precious artifact she was searching for.

Ironically, that’s what Lara can’t forgive. She states clearly she can forgive him for cheating on her, for stealing and losing her money in gambling, but what she can’t forgive him is that he stole an artefact from her. Also in that Chase Carver is pretty much similar to Nathan Drake, he doesn’t want artefacts for its rarity or historical interest, he wants them to sell them, get money (and glory and fame) and waste all of it in gambling and booze.

You think I can have any respect for this kind of character? I’m so sad this… individual was written to be Lara’s partner, since he’s clearly unworthy of her. Also I don’t think the real Lara Croft, the one we know from games, would tolerate a man to treat her like this. During all the arc of the series, Chase is constantly trying hard to make Lara to love him again. He appears as to be repentant on what he did and he expects Lara to forgive him, but she never does. Instead, she tolerates his presence next to him, him supporting her in some quests, and all his compliments and flatteries, but she doesn’t forgive him.

Chase kissing her against her will, but hey, Kurtis is the “rapist”, y’all.

He keeps sticking around her, kissing her without her consentment (lol) and he’s still alive to tell the tale. Also Lara’s all the time butthurt about the fact he cheated, he robbed her money and her artefact, but she never sets things right with him. She keeps tolerating his presence around her, which I think, is unbelievable.

At the end of Chase Carver’s arc, we know SPOILER!!! that he dies. Just as any other male partner written to be her boyfriend in the comics (except of Kurtis Trent, thanks God), he ends dying because apparently Lara can’t have a permament mate. After he tries without result to make her forgive him, Chase ends by sacrificing himself for Lara and he dies. In that moment Lara discovers she has always loved him and that he has always loved her, despite his flaws and his absolutely reprobable behaviour. *pukes*

When this asshole finally dies and she’s even sad about it, wtf?

To be honest, all this drama doesn’t suit Lara. Or at least, it wouldn’t suit her with this kind of character. Chase Carver is not much different of Larson Conway, the typical American shooter with more muscles than brain. He proved to be competent as partner since he can fire guns, he can raid tombs, he can drive choppers and all sorts of vehicles. He was useful as a sidekick. But as a love interest it would be the worst Lara could choose, since she was politer, more educated, loyal and had much more of an inner world than him.

Would Lara choose a man who has addiction to gambling, whoring and booze as a partner? That’s the kind of man that ends destroying you, wasting all your fortune and making you miserable for the rest of your life. Also I never swallowed that bullshit of “Yes I slept with another women while I was with you but I’ve always loved you!!!” Like, please. What the fuck.

Lara did right in never forgiving him and only allow his presence around her to be a sidekick, but then, all this flirting and push-me-pull-you around them after they broke their relationship is kinda contradicting, isn’t it? Like Lara, please, he robbed you, he cheated on you. Have some dignity.

Lara promising this motherfucker she will consider going back with him, lol.

In the end, I think Chase is more than a forgettable character. Not that I hate him, because, as I said, I don’t consider the comics canon, despite Andy Park has all my respects as the amazing illustrator he is. But Carver is not worthy of Lara, he’s the kind of rogue and scoundrel the real Lara wouldn’t bother to look twice, or at most, shoot to death. If we saw her totally despising someone as Larson in the games, why would she be interested in someone like Chase Carver? Another proof that Dan Jurgens didn’t know the real Lara, and wrote an idea he had of her.

Yes, I definitely not hate this character. At least there was some insight in their past relationship and Lara’s struggle between hating and loving him. There are other male partners in the comics that have a go with Lara with much less insight or reason. But in the end I was relieved to see him die because I was fearing Lara ended up by forgiving him. We know this kind of men rarely change and she would ended again in a hellhole, right?

I might not consider the comics canon, but I’m absolutely happy and relieved that the only male partner that ends up alive in the comics after having some kind of chemistry, and a consented kiss, was the same character that was planned to be her real and canon love interest in the games. For this, I forgive the comics for all their flaws, starting by Chase Carver himself.

Lara kissing Kurtis willingly. Just saying, bitches.