#yes including tampon anon

[symptomsofdeceit]

bro I love the community here

- tampon anon

- blue-ring octopus MC asker (our OC now /silly)

- yummy art from talented artists

- MrClockWorks on youtube and his chaotic chat (haven't got to your streamer friend's video ><

- thaumoyaki OP

- thaumo simps & bullies (Real)

- nalis' booba removal (sad)

I love it too!!!! It’s all been so so so much fun. Everyone interacting with my project has been so sweet and funny and talented, I’m eternally grateful for it 😭💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 Every single one of those points has brought me so much joy

[chaossmagic]

Did you actually listen to the conversation in the episode? Charles said "knowing my luck" as in he didn't want to be a tampon, and the two of them laughed about it. Slightly icky toilet humour, yes, but it was just a silly joke. People have said FAR more weird and cringey things to each other in private conversation and the only thing that was actually gross about it was someone recording it and a newspaper printing it without consent.

I bet you're a Royalist huh

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hi sex witch! i have a vagina question. i’d always thought that if you’re on your period, you don’t get wet—i’m not sure if i was told this at some point, or if i just noticed a pattern of when i’m on my period, i don’t notice much self-lubricant down there. anyway, today that theory was disproven bc i was in a deeply deeply sexually frustrating situation (date w someone who i have a very strong mutual attraction to but can’t be physically intimate with bc they’re allergic to me) and was convinced i had bled through my tampon, only to frantically get to a bathroom and discover that, no, i was just suuuper wet. i guess my question is what’s up with vaginal lubrication and periods? are they totally unrelated and it was just a coincidence that i normally don’t get wet while on my period, or is there a connection?

hi anon,

GREAT observations about your body!

during menstruation most bodies produce less estrogen, which can mean less vaginal lubricant and more dryness. while many people (myself included) have talked up the pros of menstrual blood as free lube for period sex, but in many cases it may also be the only naturally occurring lubricant available.

a bit of a tangent perhaps, but this is why many people experience an uncomfortably itchy vagina and/or vulva while they're menstruating, which can be worsened by chafing from tampons, pads, and other forms of collection. remember: a little lube on a tampon or menstrual cup can make them easier to insert, and a little unscented lotion rubbed gently onto the vulva can provide a lot of relief!

anyway, yes! a correlation between menstruation and dryness is common but, as you've observed, definitely not the rule. sometimes the horny really is too powerful.

[opinated-user]

Bro have you seen what an anon (either a lily fan or a lily alt account, I genuinely can't tell) sent to sai scribbles? 😭

"lily has been through more then most minorities, yet i see your just another white man trying to take advantage of a downtrodden person."

BRO WHAT 😭

Ah yes, the white woman who has shown a track record of ignoring/harrasing poc. The lady who didnt even bother to correctly check which tribe her grandfather was from, or connect with her claimed aunt, Lily who just starts appropriating a culture she is neither from nor understands. Lily "I just think making a white character black would make them inherently interesting." Orchard has experienced much more adversity than us discriminated folk, truly an unsung hero/s 😔🙏

tbf, LO does have some fans that one might call... unwise, so there's a chance that is a person who honest to god believe every single story that LO has told about her past, including the one about handing tampons to classmates during high school and being harassed by the principal for no reason at all. a person like that would even probably believe that Courtney was the one with incestious feeling despite the literal pile of evidence that is LO.

even then, to say that she went through more than most minorities is... a reach at best.

[fluentmoviequoter]

Hi love your work !! I was hoping you could do a Dalton Lambert x reader on her period and he comforts her .

Thanks !

Thank you!! I tried to keep this a little ambiguous because I know everyone experiences different symptoms, but I hope this is along the lines of what you wanted. I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think! :)

Warnings: fluff, comfort, period content, brief flashback to Insidious (2010). 0.7k+ words.

A/N: You have impeccable timing, anon. I'm on my period right now and wish I had a Dalton to comfort me. Like I said before, I tried not to include any specific symptoms or anything to make this more inclusive, but I happily accept feedback! I also couldn't think of a name for this, so I just referenced a random scene...

Bloody Sheets

You know the moment you wake up that it will be a long day and a longer week. Between the aches and pain, the flood of hormone-driven emotions, and the all too familiar sticky feeling between your legs, you quickly decide to skip class. You rush to the bathroom and prepare for a day in bed before remembering Dalton said he’d walk you to class this morning. Sending him a quick text that you aren’t feeling great and aren’t attending class, you sit on your bed and pull up your favorite comfort movie.

As the movie ends, the cramps and pain spreading through your body have worsened, and you roll onto your side, curling in on yourself, attempting to ease your discomfort. Someone knocks on your door, and you remain quiet, hoping they’ll think no one is there and go away.

Dalton says your name before saying, “It’s me. Can I come in?”

You raise your voice and tell him yes, hugging a pillow to your abdomen as you look toward the door. Dalton has several bags in his hands as he kicks the door closed.

“You said you didn’t feel good so I got you some stuff I thought could help,” he informs.

Your hormones get the best of you, but you fight to keep the tears in.

“Thank you.”

“Of course. So, there’s pain medicine, tea, healthy and junk food snacks, and some pads and tampons because I didn’t know what you use or need.”

“How’d you know?” You ask, confused as to how he concluded that you were on your period and didn’t just have a virus or something.

“Three reasons,” Dalton begins as he sits on the edge of your bed and rubs your back. “One, you would’ve told me that if were sick, but you just said you didn’t feel good. Two, you cancelled a date almost exactly a month ago. And three, I called Chris and she yelled at me, and since you two are friends and spend time together I thought, you know.”

“You’re smarter than you look, Dalton.”

Dalton gasps and raises a hand to his chest in offense. “You thought I was just a pretty face?”

You laugh as you nod, then curl in on your pillow as a sharp pain radiates around your back and stomach.

“What do you need?” Dalton asks softly.

“Put my uterus in someone else for a few days?”

“As soon as they learn to do that, I’ll make sure you get access.”

“Can you just stay with me? Maybe give me some of those snacks you said you brought?”

Dalton nods, pats your hip as he stands and digs through the bags. He sets a bag of your favorite snacks and a drink beside you, then places a stuffed animal on your leg.

“A dolphin?” You ask, picking it up and hugging it to your chest.

Dalton shrugs, but you see the blush spreading across his cheeks at your excited reaction. He walks to your microwave and begins heating water to make you tea. You watch Dalton work, moving over in your bed as he finishes. When he reaches your bed, setting the tea with your other essentials, you pat the empty spot beside you and give him your best puppy dog eyes. He shakes his head at you, kicks his shoes off and crawls onto the bed beside you.

“C’mere,” he says, opening his arms and allowing you to lay on his chest and rest your arm across his waist. His hand begins rubbing circles on your back, moving across your waist and settling on your stomach occasionally.

Dalton picks up your remote and turns on another movie as you drink your tea. When you tell him you have to go to the bathroom, he stands from the bed and helps you up. Before you walk out, you grab something from your dresser.

When you return, you’re wearing different pants. A memory flashes through Dalton’s mind, a bloody hand print on bed sheets, but he pushes it away and opens his arms to you.

“What else can I do to help?” He asks.

“You’ve done more than enough. The cuddles are really nice.”

Dalton watches you return to bed, then joins you, pulling you against his chest, so he can rest his hands on your lower stomach. You sigh in relief from the heat his hands provide and melt against him, feeling better than you have all day.

“Thanks for coming, Dalton.”

“Of course. Give it a few months and I’ll be a master.”

“Even if I yell at you like Chris?”

“Especially then.”

[oddballwriter]

We got those good EMH boys hcs, but what do you think the MH boys would do when you're on your period? I need me a lil comfort right now ; ; Also I hope you’re not getting overrun by requests! I absolutely love your writing<3

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

Warnings: mentions of mensuration, and implied afab/fem anatomy BUT reader themself has no mentioned gender or pronouns, mentions of painkillers, pms, and the like  

Author’s Snip: Hey anon, sorry this is late post. I hope you still like this. 

Notes: I'm including Jay just because I want to and I don't really have it that the reader is any gender, just that they're on their period and stuff so the transmascs can still read this

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

Brian

Will wrap you up in a blanket with a heating pad and get you what you need

Water? Got it

Pain killers? Oh absolutely, no problem, just make sure you eat something before that so that your stomach doesn't get upset

Snacks, shit, say less, anything specific you want like chocolate or something?

Pads and or tampons (maybe both if you do that)? Don't worry at all, tell him the type and he'll go get it

If you pms or are more moody and irritable Brian won't hold it against you

I mean, you're bleeding against your will, probably in pain, your body's probably also doing some extra stuff. So obviously you're gonna be a bit grouchy cause your uncomfortable

Tim

He never asks so unless there's signs that your on it or you're experiencing something from it, he won't notice

I do feel like he might notice you being moody and say "What's wrong are you on your period?" light heartedly and as a joke, but if you shoot him a glare or say yes then he'll just go "Oh" and feel a bit like an asshole

He sort of leaves you be to do what you need, obviously you've been dealing with this for long enough, you have a way of managing and getting by it

If you're really not good then he'll help for sure

Honestly, if you ask for some painkillers, Tim's gonna get you the bottle instead of just getting the pills. Even if he knows how much you're meant to take he's gonna just bring you the bottle

It's so that you don't have to get up to get more

If he goes out he'll come back with a snack for you to have

Tim will honestly just leave you be until you feel better or need his help with something

Alex

This dork has no idea what he's meant to do

He wants to help don't get me wrong, but like... what is he supposed to do as your boyfriend while you're on your period?

Alex will sort of just do the minimum for a bit like warm up a heating pad for you and give you some painkillers to have even if you aren't feeling like you need them, "just in case"

If you snap at him or get moody he just sort of backs off real fast like "Okaysorry" and just leaves the room

He just sets everything up for you so that if you need it it's ready

Okay this might sound kinda weird and creepy but i feel like if you've been together long enough, he'll remember your pattern and cycle, like what days your period tends to start on

He does this so that he can already set up the stuff you need and usually want

Jay

This man

This boy

This wet cat looking dude

He has stuff for you on hand already

Like, you can off handedly mention that you're period might start soon and he'll just start having stuff that will help you out

Literally if you whisper to him in public that your starting to have cramps, he just pulls out one of those travel sized bottle of painkillers outside his bag or pocket and go "Here"

And then he asks if you'd like to sit down somewhere while you wait for it to pass

He's good at silent care

[spidergwen-real-notclickbait]

to prev anon: that's a great point, and yes, women have terminated pregnancies for thousands of years. specifically dating back to an ancient egyptian papyrus text written ~3,500 years ago. the text suggests that around 1550 BC abortion could be induced using a “plant-fibre tampon coated with a compound that included honey and crushed dates.”

oh wow i never knew that!!

[olderthannetfic]

re: the anon who thought it was impossible to get a tampon stuck in the urethra - there is a recent journal article (science direct) from oct 2021 about a woman who came into an er for a uti and when they scanned her, she had a huge bladder stone with a glass cup in the middle. a few years prior, she was using it as a sex toy, it went up her urethra instead. article includes both the xray and a pic of the stone after they removed it surgically. so that person who think was just ~totally wrong~ and got ~so owned~ or whatever…may not have been.

--

There are rare cases of things like that, yes.

[milkacchan]

Request for anon: can I request Present mic and a American exchange student (southern reader if you could??) (Aka her being his favorite student)?? ((Bc I know you have an Aizawa one and all might one))

REQUESTS ARE NOW OPEN!!!

😌😌😌😌 yes.

• His class is your favorite but also your least favorite

• Because you have a natural affinity for english and you ACE the tests but also Japanese is SO HARD

• Anyway from day one, you're his favorite

• he heard you mumble a pun under your breath at something he said then laugh to yourself and he's like

• Yes. This one.

• he is that english teacher

• the ones that kids will flock to if they feel alone

• This man practically becomes dad 2

• and you're so thankful for that because it's someone you can be with

• Anyway it starts with you sitting alone in his class room during lunch

• bc theres no one else to talk to lmao

• Dumb small talk

• that turns into pun contests and dad jokes

"Hey, Mr. Hizashi, did you hear about the kidnapping at school?"

He perked up, "What?! No I-"

"It's okay, he woke up."

• and that was when he knew you were going to be best friends

• You eat in his room a lot

• and when he finally questions it, he feels his heart break a little

"So why do you always eat in here? Not that I mind- just students rather not spend more time with teachers."

You shrug. "I feel better in here, I don't really fit in with my class right now- I don't know them and the prospect of interacting kinda scares me. Besides it's fun in here."

• he's 🥺🥺

• but he totally understands!!! Because he was the same way in highschool. Unsure if he was liked

• and as you do start to really make friends, he see's you in the room a little less but you're still there a majority of the time

• Hizashi also speaks english and he likes talking to you in english Because he can talk shit with you

• Aizawa only understands about 45% of what you're saying

• All might understands a majority though so you gotta watch it w him

• He's a fuckin sNITCH

• "Did you see that?" He mumbles under his breath, his attention still on his paper

"I was going to pretend I didn't- that was awful,"

"Sounds like a plan,"

• Y'all talk- a lot

• father daughter vibes

• you got his number

• Deadass

• "(Y/N)!!! I'M GETTING FOOD! WANT ANYTHING?"

"Whatever is cheapest,"

• He'll absolutely leave to get you something if you really needed it

• Like one time you needed tampons and there were none to be found

• and you admit it to Hizashi (with so much embarrassment) and before you even ask he's running to the store

• Thankfully it was during lunch so he didn't ditch any classes he was supposed to teach or anything

• mans is a god send

• if you dont have enough money to get food or sumn

• he got you covered

• "You're literally going to go broke Mr. Hizashi,"

"No, I am what you call r i c h,"

"You really aren't,"

"Stooop, I'm getting it for you."

• one time you accidently called him dad and you thought you were going die if embarrassment

• YOU DONT EVEN REALIZE YOU SAID IT UNTIL YOU WERE OUT OF HIS CLASSROOM

• Eye contact?? Idk her

• But mic feels honored

• theres the dad trio, Aizawa, All might, and now Hizashi

• They have an on going competition likes dads do, bragging about their kids

• "Did you hear? Young Midoryia figured out his power move,"

"Little late if you ask me, However Shinsou is ready to move to 1A,"

"(Y/N) got the highest score in her class by 10 on the english test we took AND she's cooler than yalls kids,"

• At the sports festival he's cheering for you

• Bitch is SCREAMING

• He's got your back 100% all the time

• He helps you come out of your shell no doubt

• yall are stupid, together.

• yall also vibe, together

• #staying after school to watch a movie in his class

• Occasionally Aizawa will join

• Being close with Hizashi automatically means being close with Aizawa I mean this man WILL protect you with his life

• Even if he denies it

• They're called movie Wednesdays

• because its half way through the week and you definitely want to die by then so it's time for a break

• Aizawa won't assign homework on wednesdays for this reason (even if he doesnt go)

• the rest of class 1a doesnt know

• Sometimes even Hitoshi will join, fam squad

• No, seriously tho

• Yall deadass stay being a family

• Hizashi would 100% adopt you if he could

• HE'LL COPY YOUR SOUTH LINGO

• Like phrases he hears you say? He'll memorize it

• He started saying y'all and all the teachers clowned him but he didn't even care

• He'll also ask a lot about America

• he wants to know as much as he can

• specifically about where you live

• He thinks traditions and certain aspects are cool there

• like piercings? If you have those he'll think its dope

• and he'll ask about the attitude towards them in America

• Dyed hair? Same questions

• he'll def have you in his radio show to talk about it

• starting a podcast??? Maybe.

• okay lets talk about papa bear mode for a sec

• Present Mic, Hizashi Yamada, 100% has a papa bear mode

• it's scary bc he has red eyes

• I'm talking about like yelling at other teachers who yell at you

• Pulling you out of actual first fights (he'll rarely get you in trouble)

• Absolutely wrecking people who try you

• Pulling you out of rubble that one time during training and giving Bakugou the scare of his LIFE

• Like yall thought his mom was scary? Just wait. Hizashi tops that.

• Bakugou is quiet for the rest of the day

• but his papa bear also includes emotional support

• you open up to him more than you've opened up to people at home

• like full on crying in his chest. Maybe bc you were stressed or homesick- but he's there if you ever need it.

• and lastly, reading manga together then talking about it

[sexpositivewriting]

hey, it’s ya girl. 

back here to say a few things concerning sex in fanfiction, fiction in general, and honestly just life:

- bleeding during sex, first time or otherwise, is something to be taken seriously because that can mean a lot of different factors including rough sex, lack of lubrication, health problems, and more.

- even if there is bleeding during sex it’s not gonna be a whole pool or puddle of blood, and honestly if there is that’s a HUGE PROBLEM.

it was brought to my attention by a fabulous author friend of mine that she read a fic (she didn’t know the name, so when i say i have no idea who it was i’m not lying) where a few things happened that were concerning. like blow jobs given when the receiver is asleep (yeah, hi, consent is a thing and should be respected), and a character bleeding a whole lot because she had sex for the first time (see above), that her legs were covered in dried blood the next morning, and that there was a noticeable pool of blood on a blanket or surface the next morning, which was apparently a dead giveaway that said virginal character had had sex instead of like, you know, a dead giveaway that there was a murder or something. 

a basic google search will tell you that bleeding a lot during or after sex is not normal and the idea that (in this case) a woman should bleed because a man penetrated her and “breached” something is not something that happens to every woman, and certainly not okay if she’s bleeding so much it looks like a murder scene. 

so, let’s break this idea down and why it shows up in fiction of all types and has for a really long time. 

this whole idea that a person with a vagina bleeds during penetrative sex is because there is something called the hymen which is a thin piece of skin that partially covers the entrance to the vagina. note the word partially, that’s important. 

the hymen may not be intact when a person with a vagina has sex for the first time!!!! things like horseback riding (hello historical context) or wearing tampons (hello modern context) can break the hymen. also, when a hymen “breaks” (in quotations because that’s such a weird word to apply but it works) it may not hurt or bleed at all!!! 

so what’s the deal with this? a study done in 1998 found that 63% of women did not experience bleeding after the first time they had vaginal intercourse - here’s the article that mentions that study. the article goes on to say that bleeding because of “popping your cherry”, which generally refers to the breaking of the hymen when having sex for the first time, would be like spotting while you’re on or in between periods. you might notice some blood when you wipe after going to the restroom, or there might be a little bit of blood on the penis/fingers/condom/whatever was down there. 

also, some people are born without a hymen at all, and it can wear away as you get older and there are more things going on with hormones, sex, masturbation, etc. 

honestly, all of this makes me think of those period (haha, punny) dramas where a woman is married off to whatever dude and they have sex the night of the wedding and someone is supposed to come in and verify that there’s blood on the sheets (enough that in those ~saucy~ dramas a small vial of lamb’s blood or whatever can be snuck in to cheat the system) to say that yes, the woman was a virgin and now she’s not, thus preserving her status and the fact that any kids she gives birth to 9 months after the wedding are actually her husband’s. 

but what if she likes horseback riding? or uses that for travel? or what if she got a little curious a few nights a week during those horny teenage years and masturbated? she could still be a virgin but have no bleeding because her hymen might be non-existent or already “popped”. 

or, heaven forbid, she actually likes the guy that she’s marrying and is turned on by him? having sex without enough lubrication might be cause for a small amount of bleeding, but if you’re with someone who gets your engine revved the right way, that shouldn’t be a problem right? 

okay, well, technically it could be, but that’s another post and a biology lesson for another day. but for MOST of what we read in fanfiction, the girl is usually so lubricated already right? enough to mention that it’s “soaking her panties” or “dripping” somewhere or whatever else yeah?

so then why, i ask you, WHY are there still fanfictions where women are bleeding like stuck pigs the first time they have vaginal intercourse?

because we, as a society, as writers, have failed ourselves and each other at large by perpetuating the myth of “popping” the cherry, not recognizing that it may have once had an evolutionary value but is pretty much in the same category as wisdom teeth now - mostly useless, leftovers from a bygone era, and not actually important. 

WE, as people who write things (historically, fictionally, or otherwise) have kept this myth going. people who create written or visual works for others to read are keeping this idea going that you’re SUPPOSED to bleed after sex, that it’s SUPPOSED to be painful the first time, that you have your “cherry popped” and you’re no longer a virgin (which, by the way, isn’t a real thing. it’s a social construct. read about it). 

so, writers, stop letting each other down. stop creating and perpetuating these ideas that might accidentally normalize some other problems that are going on, or perpetuate false societal ideas that honestly shouldn’t even be a thing anymore. 

if your character is bleeding after sex, first time or otherwise, there had better be a damn good, thoroughly researched, accurate reason behind it. and not one that involves her (or him) bleeding like they were stabbed just because they’re not a virgin anymore. we have a responsibility to those who read our words, and we need to realize that. 

got more questions about what was talked about here? got another writing question, smut or otherwise? pop into the inbox, anon is always on, and ask!

[ticklish--love]

Same anon 2/2 but what I'm getting at is that too many people worry about why they don't enjoy certain things and try to label themselves instead of living life through discovery. With the penetration thing, I get it, I found it VERY painful always, never fingered myself etc, but honestly it does take practice and I promise you're not broken. I wouldnt worry too much but please try not to micro label as once again these explainable terms really do harm the LGBT community xx thank you

2/2 Anon, while I appreciate your strong efforts to protect those within the LGBTQIA+ community, I do not appreciate your ask. I truly don’t know where to start, so I’ll be addressing your asks piece-by-piece. First, I’ve known the term demisexual since I was 18, and started to research into it more during my freshman year of college. At that point, I had 2 different relationships fall through because I simply did not feel what I deemed necessary in order to justify sexual intimacy. I, as I’m sure you’d expect, felt broken and like I would never be able to have what many deem to be a normal relationship with someone. However, I am so fortunate, because not only did my university have anonymous support options for closeted LQBTQIA+ students, I also had this community on Tumblr. I know and am friends with individuals who identify as demisexual, and they were kind enough to virtually spend time with me and educate me on the “label.” So, I can assure you, your education is not necessary.  Second, I genuinely can’t tell if you’re attempting to say that demisexuality is not a real piece of the LGBTQIA+ spectrum, or if you’re saying that I am falsely identifying. So let’s address both points! To begin, demisexuality falls within the asexuality spectrum, which means that a person who identifies as demisexual is not able to feel sexual attraction to just anyone and the speed + level of attraction can very. To be blunt, they likely have a lower-than-average sex drive. There’s an official flag, support communities online and on university campuses (mine included), and there’s been a great uptick in media coverage over the past year and a half. I urge you to do a quick search and read some of the articles or watch a few YouTube videos. So, I can assure you that this “micro-label” is a legitimate part of the LGBTQIA+ community, and believing that it isn’t is dangerous to and harms those who identify. In regards to falsely identifying with demisexuality myself, I can assure you that I simply didn’t google this term one day and say “YUP I’ll keep this one” and stick it to my forehead just for funsies. I talked to those who identified, those who served as LGBTQIA+ support, and did real research to understand what the term actually meant. I didn’t wake up and decide to be demisexual one day simply because I’m a virgin and not into hookups, or because I can’t wear a tampon/finger myself. There’s psychological and emotional reasons behind my decision to identify with this label, and to this day it holds true as it does for thousands of other individuals who feel the same as I do. Lastly, I’d like to bluntly share why I’m disclosing my penetration issues to the world online, as I feel it’s worth mentioning and adds weight to the conversation. In 2018, I had my first serious relationship with a guy which lasted around 9 months. I felt like I was progressing to where I could eventually develop sexual intimacy with this person, at one point, and thought I had finally found someone accepting of my aversion to/lack of desire to have sex. In the end, this relationship turned out to be abusive and the individual did not accept my hesitancy to jump into sex. They got impatient and took it upon themselves to make it happen. I was forced to experience things I wasn’t ready for, with someone I wasn’t ready to experience them with. This has led to psychological and physiological longterm damage, and I’m currently in therapy to overcome them. Yes, it’s taken this long. No, I don’t need your judgement about waiting to seek help. Vaginismus is when the vaginal muscles subconsciously tighten and spasm when penetration is attempted. I’m reconditioning my body to understand that penetration does not mean pain and discomfort every time. And I’m sure you asked “wHy WouLd yOu NeeD tO dO tHat aS a DemIseXuaL PerSon?” Fantastic question! I eventually want to be able to have sex. I am not asexual, I am demisexual for a reason. I want to find someone who understands I take longer than others to attach, and I want to one day be a mom. Just because I’m actively working to overcome sexual abusive does not inherently make me ineligible for pieces of the LGBTQIA+ spectrum. That’s called recovery. I’m sorry for the word dump that my followers have to read now, but I truly felt that this ask was filled with blind judgement, passive-aggression, and a genuine lack of knowledge on the topic. PLEASE, if you want to help those within the LGBTQIA+ spectrum, do NOT leap into their inboxes with accusing language and petty tones. You do not know someone’s full story based on a blog, and not all Tumblr users within the community are emotionally able to handle asks such as this. Be respectful and, please, do better.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hello!

I went into my Gyno today, it’s my second only visit ever, first one was two years ago to get a Pap smear

(I thought I was getting one again today, but guidelines if you don’t have sex, which for me yes never, is every three years now; would’ve waited another year if I knew that)

And today she performed a quick visual exam with the speculum, and then physical with a finger in my vagina very quickly

My Pap smear two years ago went better, I’ve read your advice and came in with a lot of “hey hey hey I never have sex I don’t put things up there because it’s Tight and Does Not Feel Good, go slow and use the smallest instrument possible”

Today went not as well, she did remember who I was, and I thought she’d look into patient notes and see that last time I was like “Small Please”

And I’m not sure that carried over to today

It was quick but also Painful, and I wasn’t vocal at the time because I wanted to get it over with

I started bleeding shortly after, and every time I’ve gone to the rest room I’ve felt blood drip out, and wiped and had blood on the toilet paper, there’s not much on my underwear, but my underwear is black so… hard to tell

For context of time, had this done at 9am and it’s almost 8pm now

From the advice you’ve give I’ve seen you say there can be tearing during sex and other activities, but I was wondering if there’s much I can do for this? Other than like, keep everything clean and don’t fuck around with anything

hi anon,

I'm so sorry that happened :/ unfortunately receiving appropriate care is something that can require constant communication and reminders. even healthcare providers that remember you tend to be working with a lot of patients, and aren't always going to be 100% on top of the accommodations you've needed before unless you say something about it.

so long as you're not losing enough blood to make you lightheaded or nauseous, this is a fairly regular - albeit annoying and uncomfortable! - situation. your vagina is very good at patching up little scrapes and tears by itself, but you can help it out by avoiding further vaginal irritation. it sounds like you don't do much penetration to begin with, but just in case: no tampons and no penetrative sex (including masturbation) while you're bleeding. also make sure to keep your vulva clean to help avoid infection - regular bathing does the trick, as do ordinary body wash and water - and make sure to pat the skin of your vulva dry gently afterward.

if you feel worried about it it's always a good idea to call back into your gynecologist's office and check to see if they'd like you to come back in to have a look!

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hello! here in a few weeks i'm going to get a transvaginal ultrasound done, which will be my first pelvic exam, as well as my first time having anyone root around down there.

needless to say i'm a bit nervous! is there anything i should know or do beforehand? any tips to make the experience less awkward?

hi anon,

I'm going to borrow some explanation from our friends at Cleveland Clinic, because I like some of the info here. I'd definitely recommend checking out the page for an in-depth explanation of what transvaginal ultrasounds are and how they work for anyone who has questions about the procedure, and they have some helpful tips for how to prepare:

Wear clothes that you can slip out of easily. You will have to remove your pants and underwear, and you may have to wear a gown. Remove your tampon before the procedure if you’re on your period. Follow your provider’s instructions about when to drink fluids and go to the bathroom. Having a full bladder affects the way your organs appear on an ultrasound. You may need to arrive at your appointment with a bladder that’s empty, full or partially full.

I'm particularly fond of this note on shaving:

Do I need to shave for a transvaginal ultrasound? No. Having pubic hair won’t prevent you from having an ultrasound. Groom to your comfort before the procedure.

hell yes! groom to your comfort!

there are also these helpful notes as to what you can expect to actually physically happen during the process:

Your ultrasound will occur in an ultrasound room in a hospital, private radiology practice or clinic for obstetric and gynecological imaging. In some instances, your provider may order an abdominal ultrasound before your transvaginal ultrasound. Both imaging procedures together provide a more comprehensive view of your pelvic organs that may be needed, depending on your symptoms. You’ll lie on an examination table as if you were having a pelvic exam — with your knees bent, and your feet possibly in stirrups. Your provider will place a condom and a warm lubricating gel on the transducer and gently insert it inside your vagina. Once it’s inside your body, the transducer releases sound waves that record pictures of your pelvic organs. These images get projected onto a screen. The technician performing the ultrasound may ask that you lie still or shift your body so that the transducer can record your pelvic cavity from different angles. The technician may perform additional steps if you’re having saline-infusion sonography, or a sonohysterogram. Once enough images are taken for a thorough analysis, the technician will remove the transducer.

now, the place where I have to disagree with ol' Cleveland Clinic comes in the next section, where our well-meaning writer assures you that no, this absolutely will not hurt because the ultrasound wand is curved and will have lube on it. the real tell is the sentence where they say that a transvaginal ultrasound "may feel similar to a Pap smear," which is actually a very painful process for a lot of people (myself included, hi!). especially considering that a transvaginal ultrasound generally takes much longer than a pap smear, I would be remiss not to point out that this shit can fucking hurt - especially if you're unaccustomed to people rooting around down there.

I don't say that to scare you, only to let you know the full reality of what you're dealing with here. as much as possible, please don't go in shaking and afraid and certain of suffering - that will make things so much worse. just be upfront with your care providers about your lack of experience with penetrative exams and set expectations together before the procedure starts. ask them to start out slow, and make sure it'll be okay to take breaks if you start getting overwhelmed. I've definitely benefitted from having my gyno pull out the speculum and give me a break so I can take another run at a pap smear when I've had a chance to collect myself a bit, and even just knowing that the option is there to call for a timeout can be a huge comfort.

also, hey: if you're worried about how the transvaginal ultrasound will go, it may be helpful to talk to your healthcare providers about having a backup plan in place. many gynecological health issues can be assessed with non-penetrative ultrasounds; will that be an option for you if necessary?

tl;dr: talk to your healthcare providers about literally any and all of your questions/comments/concerns. don't worry for literally a second about seeming dumb or awkward; they've definitely heard weirder questions and they've seen too much genitalia to think yours is weird.