#yes im that simple lol
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Summary: Part 2 of my Hard of Hearing!Dream. Part 1 here! Dream struggles with his new disability and Hob tries to help... along with Dream's new friend, Jessamy.
Square/Prompt: A1 - Why Did You Do It?
Rating: T
Ship(s): Dream of the Endless/Hob Gadling
Word Count: 4.6k
Warnings: None
Additional Tags: human AU, deaf!Dream, angst, happy ending, established relationship
Fill for @dreamlingbingo! (thank you @mallory-x for the read through!)
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When Dream turned 30, he celebrated it in a crowded bar that doubled as an art gallery, close to his apartment. It was his favorite bar, because it was an eclectic gallery first, with a bar open for events. Luckily, there was a local exhibit on the night of Dream’s birthday and he knew it would be the perfect place to celebrate. This way, he could appease his friends who wanted to go out and drink and celebrate, and Dream could stare at art and make a quick escape if need be. It gave a chance for everyone to focus on anything else but him after the initial round of shots.
Hob never took his focus off Dream, though. Even when they would float away to opposite sides of the room, Dream would turn his head and find Hob staring at him, smiling at being caught before turning his attention back to the person he was in conversation with.
At that point, it had been two and a half years since Dream had told Hob about his diagnosis… that he would go permanently deaf. In that time, he did indeed completely lose his hearing in his left ear, but his right was still working pretty well. He had just gotten used to tilting his head slightly to the left so people would understand to talk directly into his good ear.
And Hob was still here. Patient, sweet, loving Hob. Who Dream secretly had a crush on probably since they were first introduced. They’d moved in together last year, and while there were some bumps in the road, complications that arose with moving in with a lover, Dream was surprised to find that he was… happy.
He couldn’t stand it, sometimes, how happy Hob made him. Even his friends had noticed how he smiled more, seemed to have a more positive outlook on life and even on his disability. And it felt natural, like Hob just brought out all the good traits about Dream, like they had been lying dormant and just needed the confidence, the reassurance that he was allowed to feel this way. This happy.
And then, 45 days after Dream’s birthday party, he woke up to Hob shaking him awake, because he was sleeping through his alarm that was apparently blasting through his phone.
But Dream couldn’t hear him. Or the alarm.
He watched with horrifying realization, as Hob’s lips moved, hovering over him, but no words came out.
So much for five years.
Hob had clocked Dream’s blank stare relatively quick, his lips shaping the letters of Dream’s name with a hand on his face, Hob’s brows pinched up and–
Dream cried.
He felt foolish for it. He knew this would happen eventually. He just thought he’d have more time.
Dream speaks with his audiologist the next day, with Hob by his side. Dream had wondered about hearing aids while he still had a modicum of hearing, but had been hesitant. His insurance barely covered them and, while hearing aids may have helped in the past, after several tests, his audiologist confirmed with Dream that now, they wouldn’t even be able to pick up background noise. They wouldn’t help at all.
Dream and Hob had left the office with defeat hanging heavy in the air. Mostly from Dream.
He’s not proud of the person he had been in the week following his permanent hearing loss.
But in time (and therapy), Dream was able to move on. And it really wasn’t so bad, once Dream accepted that this was his life now.
If he closes his eyes, he thinks he can still hear Hob’s voice, especially with his lips pressed against his throat, behind his ear, murmuring sweetness into his skin and sending vibrations into his skull. It’s one of the most calming things Dream has ever experienced; laying in bed with Hob, in the absolute darkness and absolute silence, his remaining senses heightened, it’s both relaxing and unexpectedly erotic. To feel Hob completely surrounding him, grounding Dream, warm and solid and safe, it lights Dream up from the inside and reassures him that everything would be okay.
And in time, Dream comes to appreciate the silence. It’s nice, it’s peaceful. Living in a large city, with constant chatter, cars honking and sirens blazing, used to be a sensory nightmare; that creeping, prickling feeling of overstimulation has vanished and now it’s just… nothingness.
It was scary at first, Dream would be a fool to not admit it; watching the world continue around him, people living their lives, living his own life, all in absolute silence. Not being able to hear the beep of the microwave, indicating when his food was done, or water coming out of the faucet while he washed dishes, or the sizzle of oil in a pan while cooking… little things that Dream had never really perceived whilst hearing them every day. All of that sound just– gone. Like hitting the mute button on a movie.
Dream tries to convince himself that he doesn’t miss the mundane noises, he could barely hear them anyway… but he often feels lost without them. So learning to welcome the quiet was the only way Dream could stay sane.
Though going deaf after decades of being able to hear (albeit poorly) and speak gave Dream the advantage of continuing to communicate in spoken English. He still has an inner voice, can still read lips very well, and so the communication gap with his friends and even strangers isn’t as wide as Dream had feared.
It makes learning sign language difficult. Dream at first did not take the lessons very seriously, especially with Hob being the only person to practice with, in those early days. Hob did help, though; he fumbles and signs broken ASL and Dream fumbles back. But it had been so easy to fall back on the habit of using his voice. But as months turn into a full year, Dream learns by trial and error that he realistically can’t continue traversing through a hearing world without sign language.
The hardest challenge he’d run into, for example… Dream never thought he’d need to prove his deafness.
Of course people get confused when he can speak perfect English, out in public spaces like a cafe or a bookshop, only to then turn around and seemingly ignore everyone around him. It is a strange experience, for Dream, to go around communicating as usual, speaking when he can’t even hear his own voice and reading lips. But he can’t be constantly on the lookout for anybody trying to get his attention. Watching belatedly as someone he had been exchanging dialogue with, roll their eyes and walk away in a huff. Dream truthfully has no idea how he might come off to a complete stranger who can’t realize that he’s deaf. Rude, perhaps. Or uncaring.
It’s enough to convince Dream to get fake hearing aids… he feels ridiculous wearing them, like he’s giving in to a social construct that only exists in his own head. But, annoyingly, while wearing them, the way people communicate and treat him improves exponentially.
Funny, that.
Hob, of course, notices.
“When did you get these?” He touches the little device in Dream’s ear, his fingers turning into a caress. “I thought aids didn’t work for you?”
Hob speaks while he signs, they both do, to help make the hand motions stick. Though Hob often slips up and signs exact English, not proper American Sign Language, which he’s doing now. It doesn’t help in the learning process, but it’s a start, and Dream has no leg to stand on when it comes to corrections.
Dream swipes his index finger across his nose.
“Fake.”
Dream offers no more explanation, turning a page in the book he’s reading. They’re sitting on the couch, Hob properly facing the TV, and Dream lounging sideways, his legs draped over Hob’s lap.
Hob taps the edge of Dream’s book, getting his attention once more.
“You’d rather put a sign on you that announces to the world you're deaf?”
Dream sighs, knocking his head back.
“I know I shouldn’t have to…” Dream starts, his fingers fumbling, a new sign of nervousness he never thought he’d had before. “But it might make things easier.”
“Things?” Hob finger spells, his hands coming down, palms up, in a sign of confusion.
Dream moves a hand to his mouth.
“Communication,” and then to his ear, “understanding.”
Hob’s brows furrow and Dream slowly looks back to his book.
Dream wonders if they’re thinking the same thing. Remembering how difficult it became, living together, after Dream lost his hearing permanently. Hob would forget that Dream couldn’t hear, which was frustrating enough, but the slip-ups were near constant in the beginning.
They’d get into arguments over it, a flame that Dream wasn’t proud to admit he’d always fanned. He hated that his hackles were constantly rising, always on the offensive, like Dream was expecting Hob to take the bait and fight back. That would, of course, spiral into meaningless fights over something stupid like leaving the laundry in the dryer for too long, or forgetting to pick up a particular ingredient they needed for dinner at the grocery store.
Dream was ashamed to admit he didn’t help in the situations, often coping out by just– not looking at Hob so he couldn’t see his lips moving or his awkward signing. He’d turn around and stomp away and Hob would be left to chase after him, hand on his shoulder, forcing him to turn around so they could communicate.
It got easier… Hob was so patient with Dream. He never got so angry he would give up. He always apologized, even when Dream was just being dramatic.
Hob knows by now that Dream would never take the easy route. And sure enough, Dream ditches the fake hearing aids. With them on, people started treating him with gloves on, or stare at him nervously, wondering how to approach. It’s frustrating and annoying– how Dream can’t seem to find a middle ground.
It takes unloading to his new deaf friends about Hob; seeking advice for how to temper these unexpected feelings of disappointment and changes in Dream himself… they never used to fight, before Dream lost his hearing. This is unknown territory for the both of them.
Dream had discovered the community in his city, for deaf people. He’d found a meetup online, after his therapist suggested looking into attending the weekly meetups.
As always, Dream was at first skeptical. His sign language was still spotty at best, and he wasn’t a social guy even when he could hear so. He wasn’t hopeful.
Luckily the deaf community in his city is more than accepting of him, patient when he slips and signs exact English. And when Dream is done airing out his grievances, they encourage patience with Hob. That having a hearing partner is always going to be a struggle, but Hob is clearly coming from a place of compassion and wants to learn. That’s more than can be said for most people.
Dream feels foolish, all the sudden, for his actions against Hob, looking sideways at Jessamy. She was one of the founders of these d/Deaf meetings, and they clicked immediately. Unlike most of their peers in the group, she too had been born hearing and then lost it due to illness. Her and Dream were a lot alike, though she was older and had been wading through this new world for over two decades. She was fluent in ASL, and didn’t even speak while communicating.
“It’s considered rude to speak here, during these meetups,” she had explained during Dream’s first time with the group.
Jessamy becomes something like a confidant for Dream. She too has a hearing partner, Matthew. The amount she and Dream have in common is almost frightening. But in time Dream discovers it’s nice… to be seen. To be understood. She helps Dream comprehend the beauty of the silence even more. And that they can still attend hearing events just as before.
So with her encouragement, a few months down the line, Dream and Hob join her and Matthew at a music festival. Jessamy excitedly points out interpreters several of the bands have on stage, and Dream feels a bit of relief. He can also feel the vibrations all around him from the loud speakers, though it’s not as pronounced as they would be in a venue with wooden floors; the earth beneath their feet grounds the pulsating bass lines to something dull and unrecognizable.
Dream’s not quite fluent enough in ASL to understand every word the interpreters use, especially at the speed they’re going in to keep up with the song, but he gets the gist. And he has to admit it’s… fun, doing this. He hadn’t been to a concert or music festival in almost five years, and spending it with both Hob and his new friends is nice. It’s easy to stay within their safe space and not feel pressured to speak with strangers or awkwardly ignore them; everyone here minds their own business and in time, Dream loosens up.
After finding available, good seats for the next band they’d all agreed on, Hob and Dream set out to the nearest vendor to grab drinks and snacks for the four of them, while Jessamy and Matthew hold down the fort, so to speak.
While standing in line, Hob asks if Dream is enjoying himself. And, surprisingly, Dream is. He says as much with a smile and taking a playful nudge from Hob.
As the line shrinks and they come closer to the counter, Dream’s gaze moves from the short menu taped to the window to the man taking orders. His lips move sluggishly and hesitantly, speaking with an accent that makes it difficult for Dream to parse. But it doesn’t phase him, what everyone wants is on the menu and the transaction should be simple.
Now, Hob could just place the order for him– for all of them, but Dream had been determined, lately, to converse in transactions like this himself. It was good practice not only for Dream, but also whoever was taking his order as well. To learn patience and practice his communication skills. It was a little nerve wracking, but for the most part it was easy. If a cashier or barista or medical professional had trouble exchanging words with Dream, well, that’s what he carried a pen and pocketbook around for.
The person in front of them moves to the pickup counter and Dream sees the man behind the counter call out what must be a, “Next!” but the way his lips move, it looks more like, “Nect!”
Dream swallows and signs as he speaks, to– hopefully– indicate how this would potentially be a one-sided conversation.
“Two orders of fries, one mac and cheese, three shots of Bacardi, one shot of vodka, and a lemonade, please.”
The man barely looks at Dream while he types the order into an iPad. Dream nods, mostly to himself, and looks down as he reaches into his back pocket to grab his wallet.
When he looks back up, the man is in the middle of saying something to him.
Dream’s brows wrinkle.
“Can you repeat that? I can’t hear you.”
After he speaks and signs, Dream offers up his card, assuming the man just told him the total.
But the man visibly sighs and leans forward a bit, his mouth opening widely.
Dream focuses but only manages to make out the words “fries,” “double,” and “which do you want?”
“Um…” Dream licks his bottom lip. “One more time? Slowly, please.”
With a truly agitated face now, the man moves his lips again, but as Dream studies them, hoping to fill in the words he missed, instead new words are added and Dream finds himself stumped.
“Fries, yes. And singles, for the shots,” he guesses.
The man types something into his iPad but looks again at Dream with a growing look of irritation in his gaze. Dream looks behind him and sees a line of customers, before facing the man again, once again catching him in mid speech.
“Hold on,” Dream grumbles, settling the card down and digging through his pocket for the pen and paper. “Clearly I am deaf and raising your voice is not helping–”
Dream nearly jumps as Hob steps up suddenly to the counter, almost getting in front of Dream.
They exchange a few words before finally Hob nods and hands the guy his own card.
Dream stands silent, his pocket notebook in his hand and blinking slowly at Hob, who gives him a sheepish smile over his shoulder before nodding again to the man and taking both their cards back as well as the receipt.
They walk to the pickup counter without exchanging a word, meanwhile something begins to burn the back of Dream’s neck, prickling down his arms and coiling in his stomach.
Dream tugs on Hob’s arm as they settle next to the mobile vendor.
“What just happened?” He doesn’t speak. Dream can’t find his voice right now.
Hob rubs the back of his neck, his gaze focused on something behind Dream.
“No french fries,” he signs without confidence. “Curly fries only.”
Dream blinks. The uncomfortable feeling in his gut tightening.
“Did you just order for me?”
Hob’s shoulders deflate, nodding.
Dream gapes like a fish for a few seconds, his eyes darting from Hob to the man that just took their order, and back.
“I don’t want curly fries. I hate curly fries. We could have gone to another vendor. You didn’t have to–”
Dream cuts himself off, balling his hands into fists and taking a long breath, closing his eyes, shaking his head.
Hob always did this.
It took a while for Dream to notice, how if they were together, Hob would finish a conversation for Dream. Would speed an uncomfortable situation along with an interjection or provide unnecessary context with a stranger “He’s deaf, sorry…” without consenting with Dream first.
When Dream realized Hob was doing this, he would go quiet, unsure whether or not to stop him or correct him in some way. Dream never knew exactly what to say. Did Hob think Dream was incapable of handling tricky conversations himself? Did he think Dream was a hassle?
When Dream opens his eyes Hob’s hands are out, placating, his eyes apologetic.
“Why do you do that?”
Hob blinks. “What?”
Dream’s heart rate is steadily rising, his fingers shaking slightly.
“Make my decisions for me.”
“I didn’t realize I was,” Hob starts, his own signing gone fumbly. “I thought I was helping.”
“Yes. That’s the problem…” Dream starts, finally speaking again and letting his hands fall to his sides, his brain struggling to interpret correctly.
“What do you mean?” Hob asks.
“You don’t need to rush me out of an uncomfortable situation,” Dream starts again, his hands gesticulating uselessly. “If I’m communicating with someone whom I can’t understand, we can figure it out. They will learn. They need to learn.”
Judging by the way Hob is nervously looking around, Dream’s volume is surely rising. But he finds he doesn’t care.
“I’m not this thing you need to handle with gloves. Let me see a problem through until the end. No matter how long it takes.”
Dream is breathing heavily, he realizes, sucking in a gulp of air.
“Of course not.” Hob finally speaks, forgetting to sign. “I'm sorry.”
Hob’s eyes are welling up with tears and it somehow makes Dream more agitated, more words stumbling from his mouth without his permission.
“Then stop treating me like a burden!”
Dream turns and walks away.
It’s foolish, and childish. And as Dream stomps away, his own vision becoming blurred with tears, he knows it’s not just this moment that’s made him snap. It’s the culmination of events from the past year of being fully disabled. He hates that he can’t hear. He hates this adjustment period. He wishes he’d been born deaf so at least this hurdle, this life change wouldn’t feel so mountainous.
Dream wipes his eyes shamefully as his pace picks up to a run, pushing past people blindly. Regret screams in his bones with every step he makes, with every inch he puts between Hob and him. His chest aches with the urge to turn around and apologize, but he shouldn’t have to. He shouldn’t!
Dream’s shoes clumsily connect with the dirt underneath him, his face becoming hot and, as he rounds the corner of an unoccupied stall, Dream collapses to the ground and allows the tears he’d been fighting back to fall freely, a sob choking in his throat.
He grips his hair as he cries, his face stuck between his knees. The past year flashes before Dream’s eyes, all of the hardships, the doctors’ visits, the fights with Hob. He didn’t deserve Dream. All of his kindness and patience and for what? For Dream to snap on a dime and expect too much out of him all at once?
Dream groans loudly, agitated at himself for seeing the problem; him, and unsure how to change. He knows he has a right to his feelings, but communicating them was so difficult. He’s becoming impatient with himself, with his slow learning curve, with Hob’s complacency to stay in their safe little bubble and treat Dream like this breakable thing.
Dream couldn’t tell how much time had passed, but his sobs had stifled down to sniffles, and by the time he felt a hand gently land on his shoulder, Dream was doodling shapes in the dirt.
His head snaps up and finds Jessamy staring back at him, her brows creased in worry.
“Hey…” She’s bent over, her hair falling in her face. “What’s wrong?”
Dream ducks his head, shaking it, officially feeling foolish for running away. The regret he’d felt for leaving Hob starts up again and he suddenly feels so scared. At this rate, Hob would break up with him. Surely he was getting sick of Dream’s dramatics, him lashing out.
“Hob and I never fought…” Dream starts, his hands moving sluggishly. “... when I was hearing.”
Jessamy plops on the ground in front of Dream.
“It’s me,” Dream continues. “I’ve become so… sensitive, since going deaf. I feel like, sometimes, Hob treats me like a child. Like he wants to wrap me in bubble wrap. It’s so infuriating– I’m not some helpless thing that can’t figure things out!”
“No, you’re not…” Jessamy starts, reaching a hand out and giving Dream’s knee a shake.
“It is OK to feel like this. You’ve only been deaf for a year…” her brows come up encouragingly. “The transition is tough, but it will get easier, in time.”
Dream nods solemnly, tracing lines in the dirt again. Jessamy waves her hand to get his attention once more.
“And you’re not alone, you know.” She smiles gently. “You got me and Matty–” she huffs a laugh at the look Dream gives her. “... and the entire gang to support you.”
Dream knew she meant everyone at their d/Deaf meetups and offered her a small smile. She’s right, of course. Despite how withdrawn and antisocial Dream had been in the beginning, even now still creeping out of his shell, the people he’d surrounded himself with had been nothing but kind and accepting and willing to listen and connect in ways Dream hadn’t thought possible.
“Hob is still around, too,” Jessamy interrupts his thoughts, her brows lifting knowingly. “That man loves you so much; you should see the way he looks at you– it’s disgusting.”
Dream manages to crack a real, genuine smile at that, especially with the way Jessamy is fluttering her eyelashes and putting on a spot-on impression of Hob’s puppy dog eyes.
He pulls a hand through his hair and looks down again. Images of Hob’s easy smile flashing behind his eyes, his hands caressing Dream’s skin, his strong arms lifting him in a hug, his sweet lips tracing the lines of his jaw and ear, murmuring sweetness that Dream could no longer hear but feel instead. Could plainly see Hob’s devotion and affection in their everyday lives together, how he would always start the coffee in the mornings so Dream would wake up to the smell of it. How Hob would leave the hallway light on during the day so Dream would come home– late from work– and have something to see by. How he always offered to help with dinner prep, chopping veggies or stirring something, often using the excuse to crowd Dream against the counter and kiss Dream silly.
“That man would pull the moon down for you, I hope you know.”
He would, Dream realizes, swallowing thickly. And he would do the same for Hob.
Dream nods, wringing his fingers out as Jessamy continues on.
“Remember, this is a learning experience for him, too.”
Her painted nails move with perfect fluency, always slowly for Dream to understand. And as one thumb comes down from her forehead to meet the thumb on her other hand, Dream nods again, sniffling and wiping his eyes.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Her lips curl sweetly, gaze flicking sideways suddenly.
She nudges her head. “Speak of the devil…”
Dream looks too, and finds Hob approaching them.
He curses to himself, wiping his eyes with more urgency and catching the almost giggle that Jessamy makes.
“I’ll leave you two alone?”
Dream takes a steadying inhale, pushes his shoulders back, and makes a weak fist and nods it back and forth.
Jessamy stands just as Hob steps up to them, his eyes guarded yet hopeful. She makes a sign of texting before stepping around Hob with a clap to his shoulder.
Hob watches Jessamy leave before meeting Dream’s gaze again, but says nothing. His eyes never leave Dream as he crouches down and takes a seat next to him, leaning back against the wall.
Dream stares back, studying the lines of Hob’s face, the crinkles at the corners of his eyes, which are shiny and puffy, like he’d been sobbing, too.
“I’m sorry,” Dream whispers, pushing a fist into his chest.
Hob sighs, his shoulders going with it. He speaks as he signs.
“I’m sorry, too.”
Dream shakes his head. “You’re always the one apologizing for my outbursts–”
“But you were right,” Hob interjects, his eyes pleading. “Dream, can I say something?”
Dream’s heart leaps into his throat, swallowing harshly. He nods.
“You need to tell me…” Hob’s gaze shoots up to the sky, as if searching for the words for his hands to convert. “... the first time, when I do something that makes you uncomfortable. So I can remedy it immediately.”
Dream takes a deep breath as Hob continues, his hands moving slowly but surely.
“Don’t let bad things fester and build. Talk to me.” His hand comes to his mouth in a motion similar to how Dream explained on the couch months ago. “Communicate. If you don’t correct me in the moment, I’m bound to repeat it.”
He takes Dream’s hands, his thumbs tracing circles over the knuckles.
“I want…” Hob awkwardly makes the simple motions with his hand still clasped with Dream’s, making him bite back a smile. “... to do this right.”
Dream takes another breath that rattles, his eyes prickling at the corners.
Hob’s eyes have gone watery, too, his smile lopsided.
“OK?”
Dream nods. “OK.”
Hob rises up on his knees just as Dream does, falling into each other. Dream squeezes his arms around Hob’s shoulders, tucking his nose into Hob’s hair and breathing in the scent of him, letting it envelop him and calm him.
Hob’s lips brush the skin behind Dream’s ear, pressing a kiss there, before he feels them move.
I love you.
#dreamling#dream/hob#dreamling bingo 2024#sidenote: yes this is an american AU#because i know ASL and not BSL#yes im that simple lol#hoo! i made it!#my first fill letsagooo#this one kicked my ass sheesh#my writing
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some brainrot hehehhdhhfjsjd
ty @windywriter for feeding into the brainrot and giving me doodle ideas also sorry for the ping but i think you’d also like to see the full thing 😈😈
full doodle page here ↓ !!
#first doodle pg of the yr and its mammon LOL#im very much one of those ppl that dont make poipiku passwords a simple yes or no question#i want some challenge 😈 but also its more fun coming up with password questions#even if theyre really easy to solve#also the reason why its on poipiku is cause a part of his 🔔 is out in one of them#my art#whb#what in hell is bad#whb mammon
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Grian was human. Kind of in the same way that Etho was human. Or Wels was human. Or False was human. Was. As in past tense with the implication that something had been lost.
And if you were to look at him now, you would never believe it. Grian? With the ever-changing wings and too-sharp teeth? With feathers and scales and the eyes of an apex predator? How could a being like that ever have been human? It's quite simple, really.
Some thousand years ago, a deal was struck between the Queen of the Forest and a desperate mother. You see, there was a prophesy in the kingdom of a war between brothers - how one would embody light and the other dark, and how they would kill one another. The mothers first child had already been recognized as the warrior of light, and she couldn't bear to watch the King's Guard slaughter her second son. The child bore no name as she handed him to the Queen under the promise that the fae would keep her child safe.
This caught the Queen by surprise - usually they were the ones spiriting children off into the night. Instead, she was being given one as a gift? Something of the sort. And so the Queen gave the child a title; 'of the Forests Fae'. Names did have power, after all - and so by designating the child as one of her own, his soul would abide by their rules, age as a fae and wield their power to an extent.
Over time, the Queen grew fond of the not-quite-human child and bestowed upon him a name: Grian. For he smiled so brightly and carried with him the warmth of the sun.
And it was like that for quite some time. Grian living amongst the fae and the forest's inhabitants - even meeting Pearl, who would accompany him on later adventures and become a hermit herself far into the future. They would venture further and further out of the woods each time, observing mortals and life outside of the forest. Eventually the Queen gave them permission to leave - explore as far as their hearts desired - under the promise the two would keep each other safe. The two agreed, and stayed by each others side. Until Evo, of course.
The Watchers aren't angels, per-say, but they're not not angels either? You see, the god they served has been missing for a long time, and without someone to direct their energy, they've gotten a little bored. That's not to say they aren't still looking for their god, but when enlisting help they have potential candidates partake in trials that may seem random to an outsider, but are quite logical to them.
Evo was one of these trials, and most of the participants weren't even aware of what the end-goal prize would be.
Grian still isn't sure how he won, but he knew for sure he did when he stepped through the Watchers Portal and ended up among the stars instead of by his friends side. The Watchers that oversaw Evo wove eyes and magic into Grians soul, granting him their powers, but more-so granting him the responsibility of finding a lost god.
It would be centuries before he met Mumbo, and a few years after that before being invited to Hermitcraft, but that's a story for another time.
#daze post#hermitcraft#evo smp#grian#pearlescentmoon mentioned#mumbo jumbo mentioned#xelqua#<- name of the queen jic i talk about her more later#yes it is grians old mc name but i think its really cool so this is how im making it canon#watchers evo#says 'its quite simple really' in the same way mumbo does before explaining to most complicated redstone lol#kinda want to start writing down all my immortal hermit headcanons and decided to start with g#i might to tango or wels next#college has been rough but i really want to get back into writing and drawing#so consider this the first of hopefully many
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( i drew the shadows clothes a bit Detailed because i Planned to draw someone Else in That place. But i Messed up and got lazy :'D, and the arm is extra lazy. )
The shadow wouldnt actually kill People but anyway.. 🧍♂️
Simple can't See blood well 🕺because i decided so. And bc it fits him for some reason.
#undertale#undertale oc#undertale au#sans oc#simple!sans#tw:blood#cw: blood#Im bored lol#😭#So when buddy seees blood He will feel nauseas#BECAUSE#I DEALT WITH NAUSEA FOR THE PAST 3 WEEKS#And i Gotta make a Oc Deal with it aswell#Yes.#And there are possible Angst ways#Love Angst still#I love to draw blood but i also cant see it irl :'D
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Magneto would love lumpia meanwhile Charles would have his Bibingka and Puto Bungbong hehe
Happy Holidays!
asks that remind me my bitchass friend kayla promised to make me *puto two years ago and she still hasnt
*puto is a filipino rice cake i do know it also means 'bitch' in spanish we do not have to address that thank you
#snap chats#'snap is the disclaimer necessary' every single time i mention 'puto' i get people clutching their pearls yes it is necessary vjAVKJ#LIKE I GET IT. CAN WE TALK ABOUT RICE CAKES NOW im hungry ...#kayla always gets beef from me but esp with puto and i only mention this when it was promised two years ago#cause SHE will always bring it up like 'oh yeah i still have to make you puto' bitch just forget it ive made it three times since then 😭#PUTO ISNT EVEN HARD TO MAKE LEGITIMATELY YOU JUST MAKE THE BATTER AND PUT IT IN THE SHIT AND STEAM IT#add a slice of cheddar on top if youre feeling especially nasty .... its so good .... anyway ..... rice cake ... i love it ...#i havent had bibingka in so long tho im PISSED. you know what else is really good tho cassava cake .. thats not rice but. lol#i never get to have filipino food on account of my mom hating cooking anything that isnt tiramisu knock offs#she really doesnt make filipino food she hasnt for years. my dad always does tho ..... whatever ....#i could always cook it myself of course. yeah... im lazy ill admit it you got me 😔#oh my god no you know whats great for the winter tinola I LOVE. chicken tinola so much#funny enough i learned how to make it when i was in the hospital from a filipino girl 🥰 we did not speak anymore after that interaction.#Also funny my fam and i were just talking about getting lumpia for christmas since theres like one (1) filipino place vaguely near us#'you guys dont make it??' on account of the fact im too lazy to make wrappers and no store near us sells any no <3#i did make lumpia myself once tho when we Did have wrappers after drivign out an hour to an asian market once#not to brag but they were pretty delicious ..... anyway ..#oh my god fuck me theres this like. speaking of rice cakes again JALKJKALJ theres this one with this delicious coconut sauce#BIKO IT'S BIKO its literally glutinous rice steamed in banana leaf with latik. UGH SOOO yummy ..... i dont have banana leaves anymore tho :#OH YOU KNOW WHATS ALSO GOOD FOR THE HOLIDAY lechon. that was my fave part bout goin to my dad's christmas parties#they had this big ass pig and i loved the ear .... crunchy as hell and so good 🤤 i havent had it in at least a decade tho..#now im hungry. and homesick. 'homesick for yoru dad?' homesick for my dad <- literally just saw him#well i get to see him again thursday :) goin to the doctor... gonna get my medicine again life is gonna be SO good !!!!!!#i have rambled far too long . happy holidays my friends !!!! do try to make puto this season ... very simple and very tasty .......
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you fascinate me
#sukuna#jjk spoilers#I’m not smart enough to talk about this but 1) love a little symbolic cannibalism/hunger thing going on#and 2) Im interested in seeing what Sukuna’s end is and if we’ll get more of his past#I remember when people theorized that sukuna in that jogo scene#where jogo asks ‘what is this’ and sukuna replies with ‘idk either’#that it was a result of Yuuji’s self breaking through when complimenting jogo#but I like that it’s more clear that that IS who sukuna is#it’s a little more complex than a simple generic villain#which I appreciate bc honestly he’s never been my favorite of the villains#and partially that WAS bc I think some things are lost in translation (also dub makes him seem SO casual like just some guy lol)#I find him most interesting with these moments#and it’s funny comparing his interactions with others vs yuuji in hindsight#ok that’s enough rambling in the notes. yes I’m back to enjoying sukuna more now that gojo vs sukuna is over and he’s in his original form#I’m VERY excited for that scene animated soon and his censored powers#I’ve talked a lot about how much I love jogos death scene it’s definitely up there in moments I love from the series
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Hand-in-Hand (Inktober Day 1 - Dream)
#Yes I'm aware im one day late#I'll try to catch up by making the second drawing really simple#I just had to make an omori drawing for day 1#inktober#omori#omori kel#omori aubrey#omori hero#omori basil#omori mari#omori omori#(idk if that tag is even a thing lol)#omori sunny#fanart#digital art#artists on tumblr#inktober 2023
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It's such a horrible time for me to be exploring my love for fashion when the trend right now is colorless basic asylum aesthetic 😭😭 You can't even wear something with a bit of color without people making fun of you, and YET basic people have the gal to act like they are the ones being oppressed saying "Everyones trying to be unique nowadays! I love being basic so I don't have to impress everyone!☺️☺️☺️"
First of all not everyone's trying to dress up to impress everyone. I'm sorry that I actually just want to express myself while YOU only follow trends. Being basic is literally the socially acceptable norm that was imposed on a lot of people. I HATE THIS SOCIETYYY
#personal#rip me who loves colors I am my own strongest soldier#people who love fashion bc it helps them express themselves bc they know what its like to be deprived of that (me)#rather than only following trends are the REAL ONES#(me)#ok look i own a lot of neutral colors too#but just bc its the most popular style rn DOESNT MEAN ITS SUPERIOR#people who think neutrals are the only superior aesthetic BOOOOO#im gatekeeping fashion from you 🙄#'but unni ur clothes are kinda basic too' yeah but the bar is low here people think im already weird#sorry for the unhinged rant lol I just need to be petty#me speaks#yes this is about mina les newest video to be fair her video isnt bad and she makes a good point#but also#just let me be petty for a bit okay#people are suddenly going im tired of following trends being minimalist is the real me!#as if that isnt a trend itself…#im not saying trends are bad but like at least learn to think about ur fashion inward about what u RLLY like#dont make trends ur entire personality#ALSO idk why people are suddenly realizing that you can reserve simple clothes for most days and special clothes for special days#I thought everyon does that...? or am I normal#it doesnt mean ur personal style is suddenly dead#even the most flamboyant person will have days where they wear t shirt and shorts and thats NORMAL
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im so glad they're both back and okay and having fun and absolutely nothing is or could go wrong
im so.normal believe me imso soo normal im. so
#my art#slimecicle#qsmp#juanaflippa#codeflippa#honestly so scared to design the eggs even though design is like one of big things that i love LOL#but i see juana somewhat like this i think yes...#usually i just ball with it as i go but with eggs you could do so much different stufff#i like this interpretation of flippa tho even if it's pretty common... it's simple but very much her#anyways haha im rambling a bit#that's kinda also is why i don't draw much of the other members and only home in one charlie mostly#that and also im lazy and all that stuff lol#and i kinda. only watch charlie and am pretty much like. insane about that guy. so yeah!
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so i just wanna say i think i fumbled with a bad bitch a little bit the other night but not just in a shy loser wuhluhwuh way i just have so many other problems. but going forward i am going to be brave 🙏
#ABBY. give yourself a chance#now namely i am just weird about any intimacy and well lbr especially sex/romance etc#but then also like it’d been a while since we hung out and sometimes my self esteem is terrible and i’m like ok what if this is a pity#hangout or what if this is all a plot for this friend group to have drama to embarrass me and whatnot#which i stand by not liking many of them but i don’t think that’s like. a realistic problem lol#and now we’re gonna complicate thing with. well my dumbass 🤦♀️#i haven’t been smoking! and i was offered. and i was like well im j chilling rn sure! that one single hit murdered me.#my mouth was so dry. i was gulping my water. i’m making stupid ass jokes i’m not good at reading situations etc#and top it all off with the simple fact that this person just makes me wildly nervous and flustered#and i’ve kept it together through a lot of this but we r approaching a point.#some of it was so lameeeee it’s so lame to recount lol but well isn’t that something beautiful#when two people get together and hang out and are soo lame together and trying to impress/make each other laugh. well yes#abby talks#my hands were so so so cold at one point tho. and i didn’t even try to use that to my advantage in a lame corny way
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i NEED to play re3. i need to see that carlos guy. he's fuckin hot. holy shit.
#i was confused when i saw him at first when i first joined the fandom#thought 'is that chris' lol#mighta said this before but ye#carlos is so hgnhfhgn#big man with big hair and deep voice#im a simple man#i see someone who could grab me easily and i bite my lip
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Just watched S09E11 of CSI, 'The Grave Shift', after last night's 'One to Go'. I don't think I'll ever recover from Grissom, my favorite character, leaving the show, but his exit was still beautiful and so, so Grissom. Him just telling the team "Yeah so, I'm leaving" and having little moments with each of them, warmed my heart (the character that represented me the most was David, who had to bolt out of the room after Grissom said, "I'll miss you, though", barely managing to hold back the tears before leaving).
And oh my god. His reunion with Sara. They didn't even need words and it was absolutely perfect. Watching Grissom feel physical pain from his break up with Sara broke my heart -- you can see how much he loves her. I hate that they'll break up again; I don't remember how or why exactly, but it feels unnecessary, but I'm comforted by the fact that, ultimately, they'll end up together for the rest of their lives.
One of the things I love about this episode is how they all paid a little homage to Grissom and, near the end, Nick, who was offered Grissom's office, invited Greg and Riley to share it with him. Fits right in with Nick's sweet personality. I love how he says they need all the good energy from that place. He's really Grissom's n#1 pupil ♡
(Shout out to Hodges, one of my favorite characters from this rewatch, walking in and bringing the pig fetus saying it belongs there. I love how bitter he is after Grissom left and how he's not willing to get over it any time soon. Forget David, Hodges is the character that represented me the most, lol).
I need to say, my brain completely ignored the fact that, when Grissom offered Ray Langston a job as a CSI he said that it was an "entry-level job". Instead, I thought he'd get the job as the team leader and it was weird for me to see him being so inexperienced at a job. But all of that is because, one, I haven't rewatched CSI in ten years and forgot about like, 97% of the show and two, I have rewatched Hannibal way too many times and got used to Laurence Fishburne playing a boss, and a damn good one. I do like his character, though!
I'm not a fan of Riley though. I don't know why, she seems mostly competent at her job, fit right in, but at the same time it's not really like she fit in? I felt like maybe she could have had some adaptation into the team, after all she was replacing a long-time team member, Warrick (will talk about him later). Her introduction and adaptation into the team felt a bit sudden and "inorganic" and maybe that's why I don't love her sassy remarks and sort of 'cool girl' personality. Yeah I love Sara but I don't love Riley for the reasons listed above. That could change, though!
Warrick. Oh, man. For Gedda/For Warrick were the most painful episodes to watch and I stalled for months. Some of the team got to have a nice last moment with him, others didn't. It broke my heart how at peace he was in his last hours, hanging out with the work fam, feeling relieved for not losing his job, which was a huge part of his life. I do hate that it had to end like that for him. I get that his death represented the loss of innocence, and that that team wasn't going to last forever... but it's just really painful. To know that he didn't have anyone else, only his soon, which we don't know if he was able to see often...
Too many things happening at once, too many changes, and bumpy ones, but I hope we'll get into a smooth road once again.
#csi#as for my last paragraph: i know it doesn't really lol#warrick's death just didn't feel right for me you know. the whole treatment of warrick just made me feel uncomfortable#in other simple words he deserved better. yes he was a flawed character. but i wouldve liked to see him happy okay#i really didnt want grissom to leave like I KNOOOW he comes back but he's my comfort character#he's literally a teddy bear have you seen him. the beard. the grandpa outfits. his calming voice. his adorable fascination with insects#william petersen is in his 70s now which is good because i can ask him to adopt me as his grandchild#scratch that bad idea i have a crush on grissom it wouldnt work#btw i didnt mention it in the text but they got LAURENCE FISHBURNE. THE laurence fishburne. i'm excited to see more of his character#i don't see much of riley on tumblr is my dislike for her actually a popular opinion? i mean if im not wrong she'll remain for#about two more seasons#that's a whole regular character people cant have forgotten about her#wait i just looked her up on the wiki#if she's not a well-liked character or even liked.... i get why#lmao#team catherine is all i'm going to say#i guess that's it for now
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I wonder why so many actors are leaving GMMTV? Someone like Lee might want to pick up more serious work as an actor but I was surprised to see Pluem and Fluke leave? Maybe they just aren't that into acting? I'm honestly even more surprised to not see more of the females leave.
not renewing contracts can have many reasons, from personal matters that have nothing to do with the company to bad experiences associated directly with the company and many things in between so it could be anything. Many contracts expire at the end of the year so it's possible that a few of them took that as an opportunity to do a fresh start which isn't that much of a reach. but we don't know.
Pluem hasn't had many projects since PS I Hate You and even though he's been around for a while he doesn't have a very extensive filmography besides some support roles so I can imagine he doesn't want to pursue acting any longer, or at least not on a bigger scale. Fluke has been doing well despite not having had a main role but if he had stayed I'm sure that could've changed so I'm very surprised about his departure.
Lee has been around since the dawn of time lmao so he might just want to take on some new paths after such a long time. But I'm still very surprised since he's been doing quite well too.
xxx
#gmmtv#i love how every time someone leaves ppl just assume its bc gmm mistreated them lol#which like yes that can be the case#but i kinda think the actual reasons are much more simple lol#but what do I know#if theyre unhappy then they should be able to leave with no hard feelings#im still super sad about fluke and lee though#they were 2 of my faves#:(
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i love the EVIL part of EVILIVE btw. i find fucked up, unnameable unobtainable obsessive life-ending love extremely romantic and delicious. it’s the way things are in the evilive world! things are messy! and bad! and i love it! i (at least currently!!!) do not plan on writing anything pure fluff happiness because that is not something that i wish to extract from this show.. it isn’t there! i have no interest in erasing these harsh realities of evilive in my fics. happy lalala is not fun for me to write, and i won’t do it without a heavy underlying feeling of uneasiness and uncertainty and dread and despair and inevitable death. i like pain :/ and half of this couple is one of the most greedy selfish motherfuckers i have ever come to know and he’s oh so beautiful. so i am sorry if you finished evilive and wanted some kind of fix-it happy gays but i am NOTTTTTTTT the guy for that.
#ilml#idk.#lol.#sorry feeling a little defensive this sunday evening!#reqs are open indefinitely and if you need some kind of fix all you have to do is ask :]#but i will not write anyone from this show (intentionally) OOC because i respect them too much as human beings from my TV show.#from my little kdrama that takes up a huge portion of my brain.#my reason for writing at all for evilive is to explore aspects of it that we didn’t get to see on screen#anyways whatever sorry please be gentle with me ❤️#i am just a serious and passionate guy writing about a crime noir#it’s a tragic lovestory and i am not inclined to turn it into a kissing loving understanding relationship#like srsly han dongsoo? u know him yes? he wouldn’t be down for all that#he’s hetmarried in case we forgot#SORRY im so 😵💫. but please god be gentle with me. i am baring my soul to you through my writing and i need it to be handled with care#if you wish that evilive was nice and happy you could make it that way! but i will not!#maybe someone else already has/will!#but ILML (me!) is into evilness. i like weird evil lawyers who are evil and bad. and i have no desire to turn evil lawyers nonevil#and i have no desire to take away the joys of violence and power from the other half either#and idk how many of my readers are weird/offputting queer men who have been helplessly in love with a straight guy#but it is no easy event… it is no simple doing… it can perhaps even be an EVIL thing…#STRAIGHT UP RAMBLING AT THIS POINT. APOLOGIES!#<- guy who might be a little sensitive and need your understanding
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OH BTW ive been getting a bit silly with it :3
adding on to the ones i made before... a little angel bunny in winter (done as a gift for @apollosunn!)
#haunted ecosystem#apparition sketchbook#i love making these little journal skins for lighthouse... this took like 30-ish minutes from literally just going 'oh this gets a bunny'#to actually having it done. i pulled those colors out of my head and im surprised they look as good as they do lol#BUT its cute. winter angel bunny :3#yes that bunny is simple as hell i have 128x128 pixels to work with 🙏 i do my best
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actually im kinda happy with it lol probably because ive given up quite some time ago but yknow. its not that serious.
#thank ye gods of mediocre adult animation shows for doing everything in your might to de-twinkify him i appreciate it 🙏#they gave my man a moustache AND a sugar mommy#insane. ill take it!#if i had a nickel for every time i fixated on an evil little dude with a moustache and a sugar mommy... two nickels indeed#and that's before i even knew he had either of those! its like i have a sixth sense for this lol#hazbin leaks#tagging just in case#anyway i am kinda disappointed they're taking the sillygoofy way out about it when the huge great evil drama had been so heavily hinted at#but they would have fucked it up anyway so all in all i think this was the best Other way out. AND the song slaps. im happy honestly#anyway time to get into something serious again but ngl its kinda fun obsessing over something thats like. still a work in progress.#i dont get that often. fun! just shameless entertainment! (well not completely shameless but oh well. a little shame is good for the soul)#pity they seemed to have dumbed him down and not in a pilot!alastor way but oh well. ive survived worse shit done to my blorbos 💁♀️#wish we could have just have him stay Actually Fucking Evil and yknow. also Actually Scary. i miss his pilot self every day#but like hey. whatever. we just vibin. the version of this show that exists in my head only is soooo good and ive made peace with it already#the actual show is more like a parody of it and its fine. just give me simple music that slaps and some good voice acting and we good
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