#yes im shirtless in dis bitch

[turkeytrey]

i couldnt not share this pic!!! zen🍂

[sanaexus]

social's as yukimiya's girlfriend

-liked by megubachi, otoya.eita and 123.56k others

yourusername: i can't see i'm bliind BLIIIIND BLIIIIND (pun intended)

tagged: yukimiya.kenyu

oliver.aiku: THE CAPTION HELP FOUL ASF 😭😭 ↳yourusername: BITCH YOU NOW I'M SEXY ↳megubachi: UH DON'T CALL JUST TEXT ME ↳chigi.who: BITCHES SLOW CAN GET ON MY SPEED ↳kuniisuke: THEY STARE AT ME CAUSE THEY KNOW I'M THE ↳rin.itoshi: I-T-G-I-R-L ↳karasu_tabito: ok what the fuck is up with this edgelord ain't no fucking way he typed that ↳yourusername: you're right he didn't i did he went to let out expired water from his wonka ↳reo.miikage: what 💀 ↳hiyori: piss she meant piss

↳yourusername: SAME THING ↳nikkoki: are we going to ignore the original comment? ↳nikkoki: ok yeah ignore me too

yukimiya.kenyu: okay now who the fuck edited that 2nd image better sleep with one eye open ↳oliver.aiku: it won't matter if you sleep with both of your eyes open because you're blind anyways ↳yourusername: HEY DONR BULLY MY BF 🤬🤬🗣🗣🐺🐺ONLY I CAN BULLY MY POOKIE WOOKIE DOOKIE CUTE PATOOTIE APPLE HONEY SUGAR MELON PLUM PIE 10PC CHICKEN MCNUGGETS ↳yukimiya.kenyu: sigh why do i like you ↳yourusername: YOU DONR LOVE ME 🙁🙁☹☹ ↳megubachi: YOU MADE HER SAD NOW WOWOWOW ↳yukimiya.kenyu: no i'm sorry i'll let you paint my nails ↳yourusername: YIPPEE TY BACHIRA ILY 😘😘 ↳megubachi: ILYT POOKS 😘😘

isaichii: hear me out MAYBE just MAyBE giving me picture credits for the first one would be nice. a fucking dog nearly pissed on my show bc of y'all ↳yourusername: AND?? I NEARLY DIED BC THAT HOE IS A BLIND BITCH AND WALKED STRAIGHT INTO A BUS ↳yukimiya.kenyu: BRo?? DONR BLAME IT ALL ON ME ↳yourusername: I DIDN'T EVEN TAKE YOUR NAME WHY ARE YOU THINKING IM TALKING AB U ↳yukimiya.kenyu: BC OF THE FACT YOU CALLED ME A HOE AND A BLIND BITCH AND I WAS THE ONE WHO WALKED STRAIGHT INTO A BUS AND WAS THE ONLY OTHER PERSON IN THE PICTURE UNLESS YOU HAVE A SIDECHICK ↳itoshi_sae: so you admit you're a hoe who's a blind bitch? 💀 ↳yukimya.kenyu: what

user1: jokes aside they're so cute (i fucking hate couples) ↳yourusername: ty pooks (ikr same couples are so cringe imagine not being single) ↳yukimiya.kenyu: w h a t . ↳yukimiya.kenyu: WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR LIKE A YEAR?? ↳yourusername: what idk who u are :x ↳nagi.seishiro: srop txting like me :x ↳yourusername: fuck off

-liked by reo.miikage, julian.loki and 122.8k others

yukimiya.kenyu: my fav side chick xoxo

tagged: yourusername

megubachi: NO WAY BRO REALLY SAID THAT ↳yourusername: mom told me honesty is the best policy 🤷‍♀️ (also you're right he didn't it write the caption i did i stole his phone) ↳chigi.who: yes girl gaslight gatekeep girlboss ↳yukimiya.kenyu: AND WHY ARE YOU GUYS ENCOURAGING HER?? ↳yourusername: bc has balls = no opinion /j ↳yukimiya.kenyu: i see how it is ↳shiidoryu: BALLS MENTIONED RAHHHH 🤬🤬🐺🐺🗣🗣‼‼💯💯😎😎🔫🔫💣💣🔥🔥🔛🔝 ↳hiyori: who let this creature out

user2: my roman empire is how their faces fit together ↳julian.loki: that looks so fucking weird when you write it but ok ↳yourusername: SROP BEING A HATER JS BC U DON'T PULL ↳julian.loki: I DO PULL TFYM 🤬🤬🐺🐺I'M THE ALPHAEST ALPHA ↳yoursername: NO YOU DON'T YOU'RE ALMOST ALWAYS SURROUNED BY SHIRTLESS SWEATY BALL LOVING MEN WHO HAVE "MONSTERS" IN THEM ↳hiyori: soccer players just say soccer players please ↳mikka.kaiser: FOOTBaLL PLAYERS* ↳yukimiya.kenyu: ignoring these dried pieces of celery tysm me n her are meant to be ↳yoursername: OMGOMGOMG THE KUYIMIYA YENYU WANTS ME 😍😍🙀🙀 ↳shoei.barou: kukyimiya yenyu 💀 ↳yourusername: SHUR UP 🙁🙁

yukimiya.kenyu: i'll ignore the caption AND YOU STEALING MY PHONE for now but aside from that have i told you look very pretty ↳yourusername: but you can't even see? 🧍‍♀️ ↳shiidoryu: Y/N TAKE THE FUCKING COMPLIMENT WHEN SUCH A GORGEOUS MAN COMPLIMENTS YOU, YOU ACCEPT IT ↳shiidoryu: also real you can't even see ↳yukimiy.kenyu: i will actually feed you both toilet water ↳yourusername: you're gonna feed me? 🥺 ↳shiidoryu: you're gonna feed us? 🥺 ↳yourusername: FUCK OFF HE'S MY BF?? ↳shiidoryu: tell sae to unblock me and i'll leave him alone ↳itoshi_sae: don't even think about dming me ab this

-liked by nikkoki, alexis.ness and 134.2k others

yourusername: right now, right now baby, i don't care about the other summer (kenyu is the rat, rat is kenyu)

tagged: yukimiya.kenyu

yukimiya.kenyu: first of all i am not your crush i'm your bf?? second of all I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A RAT ↳kuniisuke: seems like something a rat face would say ↳megubachi: no bc y/n said it so it's canon ↳yourusername: still my real one fr ↳megubachi: twins ↳isaichii: bsdhira hiw ciulf yoi do tijs to me ↳rin.itoshi: some please translate that AGAIN ↳yourusername: "bachira how could you do this to me" ↳megubachi: sorry shnookums ↳isaichii: sorry guys kaiser got out of his cage (again) and started chasing me like a duck (again) ↳mikka.kaiser: you still haven't come to papa ↳reo.miikage: again what the fuck?

user2: the moment my f1 addicted brain saw the second picture it instantly said "i have never looked so good" ↳hiyori: LECLERC 🔛🔝 ↳yoursername: NAHH VERSTAPPEN ALL THE WAY🔛🔝 ↳yukimiya.kenyu: said it before and i'll say it again HAMILTON DOMINATION 🔛🔝 ↳julian.loki: hear me the fuck out. logan sargeant 🔥🔥🐺🐺 ↳shiidoryu: RAHHHH WHATS A KILOMETER 🔫🔫💣💣💯💯‼‼😎😎🐺🐺🔛🔝 ↳rin.itoshi: please seek help

mikka.kaiser: NEW JEANS MENTIONED RAHHHHHHH ↳mikka.kaiser: and we can go high 말해봐 yeah 느껴봐 mm-mm ↳alexis.ness: take him to the sky you know, i hype you, boy ↳mikka.kaiser: i raised you well, good boy ↳itoshi_sae: please be kinky, disgusting and possibly gay somewhere else ↳mikka.kaiser: we're not gay ↳alexis.ness: we're not?

yukimiya.kenyu: i see a drop dead gorgeous person right there ↳yourusername: awww ily 🥺🥺 ↳yukimiya.kenyu: oh look you're there too ↳oliver.aiku: LMFAO

nikkoki: jokes aside the first picture is so cute ↳yourusername: thank you 👉👈😝

aryu.jubei: did he try yanking your hair (send hair care routine pls) ↳yourusername: no he didn't SUPRISNGLY (ofc pooks) ↳kuniisuke: dammit ↳yourusername: WHY DO YOU WANT ME HURT SO BAD 🙁🙁 ↳rin.itoshi: surpisngly* ↳shiidoryu: YOU GOT IR WRONG TOO LMFAO

HI CHAT!!111!11 I KNOW I WAS SUPPOSED TO POST THIS LIKE A CENTURY AGO BUT ITS FINE (i had school and i came home at like 5 and i had volleyball and track practice and i had to study bc i have exams every week pls save me also i had parent teacher conference and i didn't get cooked) HAPPY SATURDAY GAYS!🐺🐺

also if you took offense to any jokes i'm sorry i really don't mean any of it. i made references to some previous posts bc why not and i love f1 jokes so 😝😝

[hanniiesuckle17]

Love > Shame

A/n: im hoping i got the request right! Hope you all enjoy! (this is not thoroughly edited srryyyyy) also like frick ^^this video his vlog is the most boyfriend thing ever

Word Count: 4.3k

Warnings: cussing, partial nudity

Requested by: @ann0325441904​

Tag List: @distrikt9​ @mini-meanhoe​ @poeticallyspaghetti​ @hanstagrams​ @desertofdessert​ @yangomangos​ @hoes4hoseok​

Summary: Sometimes timing isn’t the best. With tensions high at work for Jisung and your time of the month really kicking you in the ass, a fight breaks out between you and your boyfriend leaving you completely alone in a country far away from your old family and friends. Misunderstood problems turn to jealous and catty fights. Is there any way the two of you can come back together?

Genre: romance, angst, fluff

◈

Pain shot through my abdomen. It was like someone was sticking eight thousand needles into my stomach repeatedly for the sole purpose of fucking with me. Fuck womanhood. The pain meds I took earlier were doing nothing to help. This was putting me in a terrible mood. 

The sound of shower running floated from behind the closed door of the adjoining bathroom. My longtime boyfriend, Jisung, lay just beyond it. It was easily one o’clock in the morning, but I always waited up for Jisung to return home from practice. He had also come home in a rather sour mood. 

Deciding that the leggings I was wearing were far too constricting to sleep in with cramps, I got up and waddled my way over to our big closet. Jisung and I both had enough clothes each to fill an entire apartment so when we were apartment hunting, a big closet was a must. 

I threw the pants in the hamper and grabbed one of Jisung’s t-shirts from his side of the closet. The soft black fabric fell around my thighs. Why Jisung bought shirts four times than his actual size was still a mystery to me. The pressure on my stomach lessened but still remained. 

The door opened to reveal a shirtless Jisung emerging from the bathroom. A pair of gray sweatpants hung low on his hips, the fabric making a swishing sound as he walked. It was clear he was still upset. Jisung roughly towel dried his hair, rubbing the cloth over his dark locks. “You still upset, babe?” I asked looking over at him. It took all my willpower not to snap out the words. He shook his head and looked over at me with a pointed glance. “You wanna talk about it?” 

Again, Jisung shook his head. “Ji, it’s not healthy to keep this bottled up. I think you might feel better if you would talk about it.” An aggravated sigh left his lips and he laid back on the bed. 

“Y/n. I’m fine. I don’t want to talk about it.” 

It was hard to watch Jisung so upset. I walked over and laid next to him, trying to ignore the agonizing pain. My fingers traced random patterns against his stomach. The action usually calmed him down. However, he simply turned his head away from me tossing the towel somewhere else in the room. “Jisung, its not good to go to bed angry-”

“Babe, just leave me alone and stop being such a clingy bitch.”

I froze, hand hovering over his stomach. Silence hung heavy in the air. It seemed Jisung had no intention of taking back what he said. He didn’t even seem like he regretted it. “Excuse me?” I said sitting up in disbelief. 

I felt like screaming. Crying. Throwing everything in this room at Jisung’s little pimple head until it popped. “What?” He said rolling his eyes. Wet black hair hung in front of his vision. 

“Did you just....”

“Just get over it. I want to go to bed.”

“Get...over it?” I scoffed getting up from the bed. 

“Yes. You’re overreacting. Just get over it.” I shook my head in disbelief. This was not the Jisung that I knew. This was not the Jisung I was in love with. The boy who ran in the rain with me just to capture the perfect kiss on our first date. The boy who sent me love notes every day for two months until I agreed to go out with him. The one who stayed with me when my aunt died and I was too heartbroken to leave the bedroom since I couldn’t fly home for the funeral. The one who never went to sleep until he told me how much he loved me whether I was awake to hear it or not. 

“Look I get you’ve had a shitty day. But I’m not just someone you can push around Jisung. You know that.”

He sat up, clearly annoyed. “I’m not pushing you around!”

“You called me a bitch!”

“Well, you’re kind of acting like one!”

“Well, you’re kind of acting like an asshole.” Jisung rolled his eyes, pushing himself off the bed. Anger started to bubble up in my chest. “What the fuck, Ji?” 

“Look- I don’t owe you anything okay! All I wanted to do was come home and get to sleep. I don’t want to deal with all your nagging.” 

“Jisung I care about you. I love you! I’m just trying to help.”

Nothing seemed to make it better. Eventually, I stopped trying to be the good guy. I stopped trying to keep my voice quiet. If he was going to yell at me, then I would yell back. He couldn’t just walk all over me. My emotions broke loose along with the rest of hell. 

“I WORK ALL DAY! ALL YOU DO IS SIT ON YOUR ASS AT HOME ON YOUR COMPUTER. I’M TRYING TO PROVIDE FOR THE TWO OF US Y/N!” 

“SIT ON MY ASS? I’M TRYING TO GRADUATE JISUNG!”

“Listen I can’t deal with you anymore.” He said turning his back on me and looking out the window. The muscles in his back were tight and tense. “Just fuck off, Y/n.”

I couldn’t take it anymore. The pain in my stomach was just making me even angrier. “That’s it. Get out.” Jisung turned around in shock. He started stuttering and trying to form a coherent sentence. “You heard what I said. Out.” My finger pointed to the door furthering my stance on the situation.

“Y/n-”

“Get out, Jisung! Go sleep at the dorms.”

He started gathering his things, tugging on a random hoodie and slipping on some socks from the dresser. “This is is exactly what I was talking about.” He mumbled. Jisung stood up, clearly pissed off. He started towards the bedroom door but stopped and turned back until he was standing right in front of me. His wet hair was covered by a beanie, pushing it all in front of his eyes. “You know what, Y/n? Call me when you decide to stop being such a heartless bitch.” 

My hand flew across his cheek before I could even think. What surprised me...what hurt me....was that I didn’t regret it. Jisung stood in front of me, shocked, his eyes looked hurt. His doe eyes which I loved so much always told me what he was thinking. But, as they stared back at me, I didn’t recognize them. 

“I hate you...”

He sighed seeing a tear leak onto my cheek. His long fingers wrapped around my wrist, but I pulled away before he could get to close. His cheek was starting to turn red from when I hit him. “No...you don’t.” I looked away not wanting him to see me cry. Of course, he knew I was lying. There was nothing he didn’t know about me.

“I should....I should hate you...” He made no effort to reach out to me again. In all honesty, I didn’t know if I wanted him to right now. I wanted to push him away, but I also want him to hold me until everything was okay again. “Just go.”

After a moment, he nodded and I followed him to the front door. He picked up his keys and walked out into the hall, leaving me standing in the doorway. He turned back to me, like he was going to say something else, but stopped when he looked into my eyes. 

“Don’t call me,” I said, the last tear falling down my cheek as I shut the door.

◈

Two weeks had passed. It looked like Jisung and I were on a break. Whether it was temporary or for good I didn’t know. My hand brushed over Jisung’s side of the bed. The sheets were cold. They were never cold. Sunlight streamed in through the large glass window in our bedroom. Well...it wasn’t really ‘ours’ anymore. I sat up waiting for arms to pull me back down under the covers. Arms that never reached out. 

Mornings like these were usually spent in Jisung’s arms staring out at the skyline trying to convince him that he did indeed have to go to work. Lazy kisses, sleepy whispers even though no one else was in the room but us. There were no calls. No texts. Not even a fucking post on Instagram. Nothing. 

All my friends were back home. I was alone in Seoul. No one but Jisung. There was a knock at the front door. Dragging myself out of the queen size bed, my feet trudged over the wood floor in the apartment. I looked through the peephole only to find a huge stuffed bear looking back at me. 

“The fuck...” I mumbled. My fingers switched open the locks and opened the door. The teddy bear moved aside to reveal a face that made me burst into tears. “DANNY!” I screamed wrapping my arms around him.  

Daniel had been my friend practically since birth. We grew up next door to each other. Our parents even bathed us together. Daniel hugged me tight spinning me around in the hallway. It felt so good to see him again.

I would not have made it through high school in my home country if Danny hadn’t been with me. I had missed him so much. As most old friends did, we had dated for about six months in senior year but decided we were better off as we were before. Daniel was a sight for sore eyes.

“How are you here?” I asked cupping his face.

He smiled down at me. Even though he hadn’t had a growth spurt since the ninth grade it seemed he had sprouted another five inches. “I’ve been planning to surprise you! With finals coming up I knew you’d be busy, so I came down so we could party beforehand.” He ruffled my hair and moved past me into the apartment. “So, where is he? I want to meet the man officially!” 

Daniel looked around the quiet apartment before turning back to me expectantly. Jisung. He was looking for Jisung. Just the thought of him made me sad. Danny’s smile fell seeing my expression. “Y/n, what’s wrong?” He brought me further into the apartment and closed the door. “Did I say something?” 

I shook my head and ran a hand through my hair. “Do you want some tea?” Looking for anything to distract me I moved to the kitchen and put a kettle on the stove. Before I could turn the switch, a hand came over mine.

“Y/n, did something happen with you and Jisung?” 

He sighed watching me nod. The silence only lasted a moment before Daniel pulled me into another warm hug. The feeling of his arms around me was comforting, but not fulfilling. There was something missing about the way he hugged me. 

My hair. Every time Jisung hugged me, one of his hands would always hold my head to his chest. His fingers would stroke my hair, lingering at the base of my neck. It was a small thing. A very Jisung thing. But, a small thing I missed none the less. I felt empty without his fingers threading through my hair.

“You know what we should do?” I hummed in response as he pulled away, keeping his hands on my shoulders. “Let’s go drinking!” Daniel was always dragging me on wild adventures. He could never sit still. That’s probably why we never worked out. While I loved a good adventure, sometimes I wanted to just sit with a good book, or just lie in bed listening to the rain. 

“Fine. But, you’re paying.” He cheered and rushed off to go change and I found myself doing the same. Hopefully, I could get Jisung off of my mind.

◈

My eyes looked across the room from over the rim of a martini glass. The heels of my shoes lay firmly hooked over the bottom of the bar stool. “What happened anyway?” Daniel said over the thumping music. He sat next to me at the bar of the nightclub we were in, taking a swig from an overpriced bottle of beer. 

A sigh floated past my lips. My fingers traced the base of the elegant glass. “We got into a stupid fight. I regret almost everything. If I wasn’t on my fucking period I probably wouldn’t have acted so rashly. It wasn’t all my fault though. He’s the one who called me a ‘heartless bitch’.” Daniel spit out the beer he was currently drinking. 

“He what?!” 

“He was just angry.”

“That’s no excuse.” 

I sighed, rubbing my temples. “If it helps I did slap him.” Daniel let loose a little smile and took another sip from his drink. “He had a really bad day. He wouldn’t talk to me. I was just trying to help.” I watched Daniel’s brows furrow. The base of his beer bottle was rolling around the bar top as he thought. 

“Do you remember in sophomore year, I had just gotten into a massive fight with my parent about school and I wouldn’t tell you anything about it.”

“Yeah. It pissed me off. You clearly needed to vent. You ended up punching Marty Finch in anger the next day.” 

Daniel laughed before turning towards me again, eyes serious. “Well, I was too ashamed to talk to you about it. Then, I mean. You were always much better than me in school. I didn’t want you to think less of me because I was having so much trouble with something so simple.” I stared into the clear liquid in my glass. “What I’m saying is...he may have felt like you would have seen him as less of a man if he told you how he was feeling at the time.” 

Daniel reached over and took my hand in his, laying it on the bartop. “He still didn’t have to call me a bitch though,” I said with a sad smile on my lips. 

“Yeah, no. That was a fucking asshole move.” My friend glanced down at my now empty drink. “Another gin martini, dry.” He said to the bartender, who removed my empty glass. Daniel scanned my face. It was hard to hide the depressing way I was feeling. “You really miss him don’t you?”

I nodded, looking away from him and out into the club. “I really do. Danny, I miss him so fucking mu-” I froze. I must be imagining things. My eyes must be lying to me because there was no way I was looking at Jisung sitting on the other side of the club. His arm was draped around a girl with dyed hair. Her hand was squeezing his thigh as he whispered something in his ear. His eyes met mine.

There was a flash of something. Sadness? Guilt? Longing? But, it disappeared before I could question it. Daniel followed my gaze, tapping his finger against the back of my hand. “What’s up? Who is that?” Anger started to boil in the pit of my stomach. Maybe not anger. Anger wasn’t a good word. It hurt more than it made me angry. Jealousy. Jealousy is what was eating away at my insides as his hand played with her hair. 

Danny looked over at the man who used to be mine with a curious gaze. “Jisung,” I whispered, turning back and downing the new martini in one gulp. The alcohol burned the back of my throat distracting me from the stabbing pain in my heart. 

Daniel started to get up, fury in his eyes burning like white hot flames. My hand stopped him from doing something he would later probably not regret at all. “Y/n- are you kidding right now? I’m gonna kill him!”

“Danny, stop. Let’s just go.” 

I took his hand in mine and dragged him away from the bar. The air around me felt heavy. Like I was up on a mountain. Pushing away the pain in my chest I dragged my friend away from the club, not feeling the pair of doe eyes on my back. 

◈

The drone of the television played through the apartment. It was raining outside. It had been raining since the night of the club about four days ago. Daniel sat on my couch, my legs across his lap. A half empty bottle of wine sat on the coffee table and a fully drained one lay next to it. Much alcohol had been consumed in the past few days between the two of us. Daniel; to make me feel better. Me; to forget about the hurt I felt in my chest. 

A light buzz was hovering in my brain as I took another sip from my wine glass. “I know that now is probably not the time,” Daniel said, changing topics. “But, I had a question to ask you about Marin.” 

Marin was Daniel’s girlfriend. She was quite possibly the sweetest person I had ever met. Daniel was lucky to have her. “Oh no. What did you do? You didn’t run here to escape from your fuck up did you? Danny, she’ll kill me! I like being alive!” He laughed patting my leg a few times.

“No. Don’t worry. I wanted your advice.” 

“Hit me with it, baby,” I said drinking the rest of my glass dry. 

Daniel set the glass on the table, turning to me. “Is two and a half years too soon?” I pouted my lips and looked out the window. The view was still immaculate without Jisung next to me. It just felt...lonely even with Danny here. 

“Too soon for what?”

He sighed, that familiar cheeky grin popping onto his cheeks. “I want to ask Marin to marry me.” 

“GET OUT OF TOWN!” I screamed. He laughed when I started squealing. My hands slapped at his shoulder. My little Danny was going to get married. 

He rubbed the back of his neck. “I came to Seoul to ask for your advice. And also to ask if you’ll be my ‘best man’ of sorts.” 

“Are you kidding? Of course, I will!” I jumped up from the couch and poured us both more wine. “Have you asked her dad?” He nodded taking a sip of the sweet alcohol. 

“So you think I should do it?”

“Fuck yeah, I think you should do it!” I stared at Daniel with a smile on my face. I could remember when he had gotten his long-legged ass stuck in a baby swing at the park for three hours before we had to find a pair of bolt cutters and run off with the swing. “I cannot believe you are getting married! My little Danny!”  I said leaning over and wrapping my arms around his neck, carefully making sure not to spill my wine. 

The sound of the front door opening had me pulling away from my friend. My eyes widened as Jisung stepped through the door, keys in hand. His stare moved from me to Daniel then zeroed in on my hand still on his neck. 

“Jisung-” I shot up on my feet setting the wine on the table. 

He scoffed closing the door, shoving the keys in his back pocket. “Don’t let me interrupt your date. I just came to get some things.” Jisung’s voice sounded like music to my ears despite its cold tone. He wore a pair of old ripped pair of black jeans I hadn’t seen since we started dating and a baggy white shirt. His usual noir beanie covering his dark hair. 

Daniel awkwardly tapped on his wine glass and watched as Jisung traveled into the bedroom. He looked and me before nudging his head towards the door. I mouthed a few choice words to him which resulted in a silent argument. 

“One of us is going to go in there, and if I do he’s walking out with a black eye and some missing teeth.”

“Oh please. You know he could kick your ass with his hands tied behind his back,” I whispered. 

“Why can’t you date less athletic people? I’d like to be able to defend your honor.” He started pushing me towards the bedroom with his foot. He groaned when I resisted. “Y/n, it’s obvious you're miserable without him and he doesn’t look too happy either.”

Taking a long deep breath, I turned towards the open doorway. My whole body went numb as I took the short steps into the room. Jisung stood at our closet, a bag open on the bed. His head turned hearing the door close behind me. 

“Don’t worry. I’m just getting some clothes. I didn’t think you’d be here.” He tossed a hoodie into the bag, not meeting my eyes. I watched him pack for a moment. He clearly felt uncomfortable under my stare. “I’m going to be out of your hair soon. You don’t have to watch me like a hawk.”

“Don’t leave,” 

His movements stopped, his back away from me towards the closet. An almost perfect replication of the night he left. His fingers twitched as if he was debating putting back the shirt in his hands. 

“I’m a little tipsy, but I’m sober enough to know that if you walk out that door....I’m going to lose you forever.” 

My eyes searched for any sign for me to continue, but his face stayed hidden from me. Jisung dropped his head but stayed silent. I watched his fingers tighten over the fabric in his hand. 

My hand reached out, afraid to touch him, but longing to feel him again. His head turned feeling the brush of my palm on his arm. “Jisung,” He sighed hearing his name. “Please don’t leave.”

Jisung turned around, looking down at me. “I saw you.” He whispered. I saw tears pricking at the edge of his eyes. “I saw you. At the club. You were with the guy in there. I saw you walk in together.” He searched my eyes for something I did not know. 

“So did I; I saw the girl.” He sighed, head falling into his hands. “Did you-...God I can’t even say it.” He winced when I tried to laugh through the awkwardness. “If you did-...we were technically on a break so... I have no right to be mad at you.”

“Even if I did, I would feel terrible if you weren’t.” 

Jisung looked at me with sincerity. “You didn’t sleep with her?” He shook his head, staring down at me. Just one look into his big doe eyes told me he was telling the truth. 

“She kissed me after you left, but I stopped her.” I couldn’t help the smile slipping onto my face. Jisung nodded towards the door before speaking again. “Is that your new boyfriend?” 

“Danny? Hell no. He’s my best friend from back home. He came to visit.” 

“Oh, thank God,” Jisung said in one breath. His hands reached for my cheeks smashing his lips against mine. My fingers gripped the fabric of his shirt tugging him closer to me. Jisung kissed me as if he was afraid I would disappear the moment he let go of me. His lips danced against mine, desperate to be with me again. I pulled away resting my forehead against his.

“Well...I mean technically...we dated in senior year, but that was a long time ago.” 

He nodded, fingers threading through my hair as his lips returned to mine. I was just as hungry for him as he was for me. He smiled feeling me push him backward, without breaking our kiss. He laughed quietly when I moved him into the open closet instead of a wall. Jisung straightened himself up before taking control and pinning me up against the doorframe. 

“Wait,” He said breaking the kiss, smiling as I chased after his lips. “Didn’t you say you lost your virginity your senior year.” He asked looking into my eyes, brows furrowed.

“Umm...shhhh. This is about us, yeah?” 

Before he could say anything else about Daniel, I kissed him again tugging off his beanie and running my fingers through his soft locks. He broke away and nuzzled his face in my neck, arms wrapped tightly around my waist. “I’m so sorry, baby. I was a total ass. I should never have said those things.” 

“No, I’m sorry. I regret everything that happened. My emotions were all wack because of my period.”

“Well...I did deserve that slap.” 

“Maybe a little.”

“Hey!” He laughed, letting me know he wasn’t really offended. My thumb brushed over his cheek as I looked up into his eyes. “Y/n, I’m so sorry. I was too ashamed about what had happened that day to talk about it and I took it out on you. Can you forgive me?”

Leaning up, I kissed him gently savoring every moment. “Jisung, I love you. You never have to be ashamed to tell me anything. I love you unconditionally. Even when you leave coffee mugs all over the house. Even when you forget to pick up groceries when I ask you eight times in an hour.” He laughed resting his forehead against mine. “My love for you is greater than any mistake you could make or problem you have.”

“You are so cheesy.”

“You love it.” 

“I love you,” 

Jisung tilted his head, leaning down for another kiss. This one was slower, more careful. A knock on the door pulled us apart. Danny stood in the entryway, drinking from his wine glass. “So I’m assuming you will need a plus one on the wedding invite?” He said with a smile. 

“Jisung?” He closed his eyes and smiled hearing his name from my lips. “Would you go to a wedding with me?” He nodded, kissing me on the cheek. 

“Would love to, baby.” 

Daniel walked over and reached over to shake Jisung’s hand. “Nice to finally meet you,” He said with his goofy, lopsided grin. Jisung warily looked him up and down but smiled and shook his hand. “You want to be a groomsman?”

“Depends. Did you fuck the love of my life when you were eighteen?”

“JISUNG!”

“WHAT?”

◈

Requests are open my lovelies! Just send an ask!

Masterlist

[klance-fics]

Hmm got any recs for wrong number/texting fics?? 👀

i loooove those yes i have a bunch actually

i usually only post completed fics its like my rule but "this is so sad paladins form voltron" was discontinued. however klance happened in the fic before it got discontinued and its actually my fav so im adding it anyway

you never stood a chance

lance to hunk ♡

>i’m gonna fukin die hunk oh mygod i sent

>keith a work out selfie that i wan supposed to fcukin send to you and you know what it said

>”BET YOU WANNA LICK THESE NIPS”

>HUNK I WILL NEVE BE ABLE TO FCE HIM AGAIN I WANT TO DI E

(Or, Keith is beautiful, Lance has a crush, and there's lots of shirtless selfies)

teamwork makes the meme work

Allura creates a groupchat for the newfound members of the Gender-Sexuality Alliance club at Voltron University. Everything goes downhill from there.

Keith

Why was I never considered

Shiro

You know why.

Keith

For fuck’s sake

You shank a guy once and suddenly you’re “violent” and have “anger issues”

Pidge

keith you;re gonna make me piss my pantsnhdjkljdhjh

build a paper plane (to float to you)

“Would it make you feel better if I introduced myself to Shiro’s neighbours?”

“It would make me feel better if you had told me that you were going to be alone this winter break.” Lance grumbles lowly.

“I’m telling you now.”

Lance rubs his hand over his face, tries not to sound frustrated. “Why are you telling me now?”

Keith falters, thinks over his words. Lance bets he doesn’t know why he’s telling him now either. “Because I thought you should know.” He finally settles on. Because you can’t do anything about it.

--

In which Lance travels across 1,681 kilometers, sees the sky and the water meet for the first time, and falls in more ways than one.

voltron is a meme

Group Message to: Lance and +9 972-888-2022

Lance: shut the fuck up

+9 972-888-2022: i haven’t even said anything yet!

+9 972-888-2022: rude

Lance: PIDGE CAN’T MAKE PHONES

Lance: THAT’S NOT POSSIBLE OKAY

Pidge: say that to my face

Lance: if you can make HUNK a PHONE then you can make ME a PROPER FACE LOTION

Pidge: gdi lance lotion isn’t the same as technology

Lance: i fucking hate u

Lance: you CAN’T tell me you can build a phone out of nothing and not even make me a lotion

Pidge: i don’t even know what goes IN lotion

Pidge: i haven’t moisturized a day in my life

Lance: you Take That Back

In which Team Voltron canonically gets a group chat, Lance hates change, memes are sacred, and Keith and Lance's crushes are obvious to everyone except them.

This is So Sad Paladins Form Voltron

Princess: What is this Mario Kart?

gos: it’s a video game where you race one another in little cars

Dunce Dunce Revolution: excuSE ME

gos: not again

Dunce Dunce Revolution: did you just call mario kart a /video game/

Dunce Dunce Revolution: a mere /video game/?

Pidgeon: blocked and reported

Kogayne: never speak to me or my husband ever again

Kogayne removed gos from the chat

OR: a post season-7 chat fic because I couldn't find any

FEATURING: pining, of the klance, romellura, and adashatt varieties; wholesome family bonding; the MFes as well as our alien friends, and an unholy amount of memes.

it's actually mostly memes.

ladies and gentlemen we are rocking in space

LANCE

do u like the taste of spam, van kieu

because thats what ull get

1 glorious terabyte of def-not-garrison-approved viewing matl

every hour on d hour

KEITH

And now you’re blackmailing me. Wonderful.

Look, I’ll tell you, alright?

Not because your threat scares me, but because I’d like to cut this conversation as short as humanly possible.

LANCE

glad ur being so cooperative ;) ;)

--

Lance gets a new flight simulation partner. Lance makes a bunch of mixtapes. Lance falls in love?

Galaxy Garrison + texting au. For the Klance Zine!

Instructions Not Included

Keith glanced back toward the front door of his apartment, half hoping the cat’s owner or someone would suddenly bang on the door and give him an explanation. But the door remained silent, and Keith sighed, turning back to the cat. She was now licking her paws, seemingly completely unconcerned with her new environment.

“Don’t suppose you could explain what’s going on.”

The cat looked up at him, her gold eyes studying his, then she dipped her head and coughed up a hairball at Keith’s feet.

Keith wrinkled his nose. “Guess not.”

—

Keith ends up with an unexpected guest over the holidays.

you walked in, and i couldn't look away

Lance has a staring problem. Keith hates it and confronts him about it. Lance falls for him, literally, and then... they become sort-of friends.

Funky Lesbian changed group name “Voltrons bitches” to “Voltron is just furry propaganda”

The paladins of Voltron are on their way home. PIdge installed a texting / messaging system into their lions and now they can communicate on the way home.

Pidge did not think this through and now Lance keeps messaging about his crush on Keith.

Inspired by this tumblr post : I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight

hello neighbor

[8:08 PM]: you’re at work at 8 at night? where do you work?

[8:08 PM]: why would i tell you that

and don’t say because we’re number neighbors

[8:09 PM]: UGHHH

i thought we were having a moment

[8:09 PM]: over what?? i know nothing about you

[8:09 PM]: well let’s change that shall we

the name’s lance

DID YOU REALLY JUST LEAVE ME ON READ

[hangersan]

futakuchi kenji headcanon | classmates (part two)

[ part one ]

i forgot to mention in the first part. but no warnings, just fluff. and yes i draw the pic hehe

after your club meeting ended, you make your way to the gym where the match is held, with hanna, your best friend. of course, there's no way you would have gone there alone. the courage is almost ✨ non existence ✨

"i know this is a well known fact, but them volleyball kids are huge." she commented as you guys arrived. you nods to it. "yikes! the nets are crazy high."

you eyes wildly scan through the gym to find the guy who caused you to come here. and there he is, talking with his teammates and the scary looking coach. you want to say hi to him at least, and to let him know that you're a woman of your word. but seems like this is not really the right time.

"should we go there? there's another students too." hanna point out to the bleachers where the dateko banner at. the opposing team got their banner too, as you look at accross the court. this is just a practice match but their spirit is amazing. you thought to yourself.

as you both are making your way there, unfortunately there's a stray shot from the other school coming fast at you guys. both of you and hanna barely dodge it, while screaming the hell out of yourselves. 

the whole gym freeze as if someone just d*ed. while you and hanna hold each other's hand. "bitch that was scary." you said and hanna just gasp for air. "that was indeed, but also embarrassing."

as much as how embarrassing it is, that's also how futakuchi notices that you came to watch the match. but he didn't get to feel happy yet, considering the situation you're in. he quickly run to you and ask if you're okay.  

"did you guys hurt anywhere?" he ask, worriedly. you shakes your head. "no, no. the ball didn't even hit us. we're just shocked."

"someone could've died from that spike," hanna said. 

suddenly a player from another team come and apologized to you guys. you told him not to worry as you guys didn't get hit but futakuchi just send him an annoyed look. "why are you trying so hard? be careful next time," 

obviously, to others his face right now is kinda scary. but for you he looks cute though. also can't deny he looks very cool.

"oo look how scary you are captain~" you said as the dude left.

"hey, you could've been hurt for real~" he said, while messing up your hair, the thing that he always do. you grab his hand and look at him, annoyed. "don't touch my hair like that, it'll get messy."

"okay, okay." he laughed, fix your hair and pat your head instead. "you can watch us play from there. it'll be easier for me to spot you there during the match,"

"ehh? just focus on your match,"

"i will. but i'll just glance over there sometimes to see you." at this point, he didn't even try to hide it anymore, and you're just like uuuhhhmmmm oookaaayyyyy??? sIR ask me out already damn-

"geez," you said, looking away, blushing and notices hanna is looking at you like 👁👄👁

you quickly get yourself together so she wouldn't annoy you later. (which she will definitely do) you look at futakuchi, who never take his eyes off from you. "good luck kenji, we will cheer for you."

"uhm okay, thank you." he smiles, only God knows how hard it is for him not to hold you in his arms right now. and no words could really describe how happy he was when you agreed to watch this match. 

it would've been better to watch the official match instead but the match season always clashes between exams and other stuffs. and as you also have your club activities as well, so you couldn't really go to watch him play. you really want to, though.

as you sit at the bleachers, hanna starts to run her mouth on play. "i'm so weird out at the fact he didn't ask you out yet,"

"man just shut up," you said. "i like how things are now," no you like it even more if you can actually be more brave than now to ask him out instead. and kiss him idk

"liar." she snorted. "and oh my my.. look at that, the fangirls are looking at you right now,"

"i'm trying hard not to look at them.." you said, weakly. "why did you point it out?”

its not like you can't feel intense gazes from the underclassmen looking at you, in rage. its scary, somehow. "they kinda remind me of us during the first year, when we have a crush on that senior, don't you think?" you said to hanna. 

"oh yea," hanna replied. "but once we find out that the senior's girlfriend was like too gorgeous for this world, we just quickly gave up."

you guys laughed and suddenly your eyes glance at the court, where the match almost starts. and the first thing you see is, futakuchi is shirtless- no like, he's changing his practice shirt to their volleyball uniform. but damn he's hot- you quickly look away, your face is red. 

seeing how everyone is acting pretty normal with the boys stripping like that, it must've been an everyday thing to them. "whoa imagine getting used to that," you said. 

the match starts and you noticed how different he looks right now. he usually a playful and chill kind of guy, but right now he looks so serious that it is so sexy. not in a sexual way though, like he just- idk amazing? confident? charming? seriously.

its the first serve for this game and he start it off with a really intense serve and it took your breath away. no one could even touch the ball, and you hear the people cheering 'service ace'  for him.

"oh my god," you said. "i just fell in love again,"

[ there's two more part. or one. depends. im sorry ]

[plainvanillapotato]

the 100 diaries S2 E11

 quarantine diaries: may 30 2020

season 2 episode 11: “Coup de Grace”

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS GOING ON.  BELLAMY??! WOAH what did they put down bellamy’s throat

they really took Monty my favorite character. keep fucking hell man.

When maya tells you act fine when you’re not fine. Cue the Katy perry audio

I’m also going to note that i never thought that jasper the boy that was speared on day one would out live finn. but here we are.

that looks like dirty water. youre not supposed to drink pond water Abby.

octavia. Damn ok. But for some reason i just don’t find this character development to be that realistic. Like one minute she’s this damsel constantly in distress and now she’s supposed to be this badass warrior???

who are these mountain men? Jason borne?

only bellamy could look this good in tighty whities

that girl spit in my bois face. No.

yes jasper. confront dante. woah that escalted quickly. that sword tho. woah grandpas got them moves. jasper did a single tear wow the acting skills.

im on indras side on this one. Kill him. Kill him now.

im sorry but lets get back to the fact that the mountain men looked at prettyboy bellamy and said harvest. i think the real plot hole is that the mountain people think that bellamy is just for harvesting?! this is how i know the writers of the 100 are testing me because i know my boy is too fine to just harvest for blood.

soooooooooooo the writers are telling me that the mountain people looked this guy:

THIS GUY

AND THEY SAID HARVEST??

not to mention they did so while he was shirtless. and im just appalled by the utter disrespect

Honest to god waht?! some say too hot to handle i say too hot to harvest.

i swear this is the biggest plot hole i have ever seen in my life

i get that the sorting process is not a beauty pageant and that the only other option is the cerberus thing that would only lead him to become a reaper. but no one can look at bellamy and just think that hes only good as a human blood bag. abolutely not

wow they really had maya find bellamy. fine maya fine. i didnt like you at first but here you are moving up

“what so special about him but hes dead” i found this comical for some reason and idk why.

this fight with bellamy and the guard is really brutal....mark me down for both scared and horny

wow they just a radiation free zone so fast. thats a little convient too for me.

Kane trying to comfort Abby about Clarke...abby and kane. ship??

bellamy playing a guard again?? Ok full circle.

Maya said ‘I’m in’.....maya and bellamy. Ship??? She be like ‘jasper who? Bellamy is the sky person for me!!’

lovejoy how ironic

now bellamy just looks like a skater in that hat. who did costuming? literally the boy looks like sean malto!!!

‘I’ll come back for you”...bellamy and the grounder girl? Ship?

jasper coming to save monty!!! i was so worried!! that hug. the bromance is very much alive!!

dante said watch me bitch to dr. Tsing. Dante really being an unexpected ally. I really though he was going to be a bad guy. Bitch had me fooled

hey abby dont think about it too much. Think about it more like nature coming to claim the weak.

So this elevator scene. I cant believed that really worked. But i guess maya is just that trustworth. Little do these mountain men know

Ofc the son becomes the usurper

yes clarke. kill him. Kill him now. Make him pay for Monty.

This would have been a good time to bring up your father Clarke. Like you could have been remember mom when you killed dad and when you sent me to die on earth. 👀

Bellamy is giving zuko vibes with that black eye

ofc its lovejoys son. ofc....that’s rough buddy

monty and jasper taking on the parental roles. I Stan.

you tell her raven. But also what clarkes job??? honestly!!! what is it??

ofc its clarke is the one to pick up on bellamy. “mayas with you?” is clarke jealous?? jk

im mean not getting killed is a big deal bellamy. the odds are against you.

what is this music?? it is not setting the right vibez

cage is reminding me of steve carell in the office. best boss mug. that mug cut was goooood. it was so clean. My favorite transition so far. But also Monty handing Harper that mug while holding her hand....ship???

yes clarke take matters into your own hands. she said fuck you mom. she said “you main be the chancellor but im in charge” (36:40) clarke has BIG DICK ENERGY. Jaha who clarke is the real moses. let our people go she said. But tbh I don’t trust clarke.

6 hours?! I would die.

why did the clarke say “if bellamy dies, we all die” with a smile. like she is literally smiling . what was the vibe the director trying to go for here?

[fart-gate]

SGA

Season 5 episode 11

Notes by me

- PREVIOUSLY - Daniel (bimbo #1) precious archeologist babey has entered the discord, him and Rodney (bimbo #2) found a secret lab with weird devices and got kidnapped bc of it (typical). They were forced to turn on one of the devices and it started disintegrating wraith ships whenever they tried hyper space!!! Uh oh!!! .....todd is mad. Atlantis tried to gate out but the gate blew up and all my kids are in danger and im stressed!!!!!

- anyway

- worried!teyla

- I heard a groan and trust me I know johns groans

- glass in johns back 👀

- he was lying on top of radek to protect him 😩😩

- watch out people. Pissed off half bug man coming through

- while the theme plays i will voice something that has been bothering me for the past few episodes. Where the FUCK is Sam

- shirtless!john on my screen👀

- "wheres McKay when you need him" Daniel has died and come back so many times that nobody is remotely concerned about him anymore lol. So far ive heard like 3 ppl say theyre worried about Rodney and nobody has even mentioned Daniel LMAO hes the cockroach of the stargate program and they all know it

- how did Rodney figure it out so fast damn

- "5 bucks to anyone who can contact the deadalus"

- todd is losing his touch if he thinks that atlantis would put theyre own gate in jeopardy???? Like hello??? They go through all the trouble to make sure both parties can benefit from the truce and then double cross him???? Does he think????

- hes more than 10000 yrs old YIKES

- you know as much as I dont like Woolsey I dont want him to die...

- MEANWHILE ronon and keller are off to a great start 👍

- you know ronon is actually really smart....and they use it when you least expect it.

- bodyguard ronon 🔥

- larrin??? Oh boy

- I cant get over how casual Daniel is about this lol

- when Rodney steps in front of Daniel to protect him 💕💗💕💗💕💗👌👌

- this pirate lady is hot

- "larrin would have come yourself but you know..."

Its ok john she'll fuck you later

- ronon walking around blasting things, not even knowing what hes shooting

- this big metal people are being asshats.......not that they werent asshats already

- "jennifer" aaaahhhhhhh

- she faked him out lol!!!

- hey we got a great shot of ronons ass. Hate to see him go but love to watch him leave👀 🍑

- "what are you" thank you finally

- HOLY FUCK ITS THE ASGARD OH MY GOD. HOLY SHIT

- OF ALL THE SHSIABSJSBS I WOULD NOT HAVE GUESSED ASGARD !!!!

- I had to pause it to process gimme a sec

- research on humans? Oh right theyre asshats I forgot

- listen you stupid little gray bitch, just bc the others are dead doesnt mean they were wrong

- 🙋 i trust the fifteen yr old

- hearing john talk about Daniel makes me think about what an episode with just them would be like 🤔💗💗💗

- "we had to escape to a planet with a toxic atmosphere"

"Oh! That sounds nice."

Hes giving me Jack Snark

- is todd good now im confused

- Daniel getting chucked into the room and losing his glasses👌 we never see him lose his glasses enough

- "I think i figured a way out!"

"Really?"

His liddle face

- "Mentally Unstable Like A Fox" Rodney my guy ......what does this MEAN

- why is Rodney the leader of Team Bimbo

- "omg dont kill me you need me!"

"Rodney!"

"Us! you need us!"

- are they gonna wear the suits pls say yes

- john still begging for larrin to come to atlantis and fuck him

- theyre wearing the suits!!!

- Collision Imminent

- ah the ol' Set Ship On Collision Course And Then Bail trick......

- Daniel and rodney together is just a constant sass fest

- woa using the hyper space window to get away!!!! Badass 🔥🔥🔥🔥

- Daniel hit by electricity !!!!!!

- worried!Rodney

- what is this sad piano music is he dying Again

- micheal shanks acting 👌👌✨✨✨

- no no no no no

- beamed!!!!

- when in doubt, blow it up!!!

- "I'll look for a can opener"

- john:

- "interested in somebody else" AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

- embarrassed!ronon

- AWKWARD AS HELL

- hospital!Daniel ❤❤❤

-daniel grateful to rodney for saying he respects him 😍😍😍

- "so you only give compliments to the dying???" I cant stand them

[freeshavacado]

My thoughts while reading Gone by Michael Grant:

* wait how old is Sam

* He do be liking Astrid doe

* Damn so Sam is a Leader

* Ew Orc is an 8th grader? 🤮

* Ok I googled it Sam is 14

* I like Quinn

* Sam thinks he’s so awkward but he’s actually really chill so far

* THE PAIN THIS GIRL IS GOING THROUGH OH MY GOD

* Poor Mary :(

* Howard’s a bitch

* Cut to Quinn being a racist motherfucker

* I love Edilio

* Sam is WHIPPED for Astrid

* Orc is such a piece of shiiiiiit

* LANAAAAA :(((

* Poor thing is in so much pain

* Patrick her dog is alive so that’s good

* She’s deadass slowly dying

* Thank god her arm is better

* I want to make this into a TV series

* If Sam and Astrid don’t kiss at some point I swear

* Hahahaha Sam do be shirtless rn

* Why isn’t Astrid happy to see Little Pete???

* MARY. IF YOU POUR HOT ASS COFFEE ON A CHILD, DONT JUST STAND THERE AND THEN RUN AWAY. PUT COLD WATER ON THE BURN

* Aw Mary has had bulimia since she was ten :(

* Ok so what she just took her Prozac and then threw up? Wouldn’t the pill go up too? I think your stomach/body needs like 30 minutes to absorb it into the blood stream...

* HELP SAM HES CHOKING

* Bruh my ass would be so exhausted

* Quinn low key an ass tho

* Lol edilio isn’t standing for this bullshit

* Lmaooo Astrid knew 💀

* Omg little Pete has it too

* Wow Quinn is an asshole pt 2

* I feel like Caine is gonna be a villain...like he’s pretty AND nice? Nah bro too good to be true

* Fucking Orc god 😒😒😒

* Caine is up to some shit 🤨

* Lmao hold up

* Diana probably whipped tho

* Sam please only be a simp for Astrid 😩

* I bet Drake is hot

* Aww computer Jack :) DONT YOU TURN ON ME SON

* “The captain is already maintaining” Bullshit 💀

* Are they really gonna call this eighth grader ‘Captain’?

* LMAOOO THE BASTARD CANT EVEN READ OR WRITE 💀💀💀

* Lol making Sam the fire chief because he was brave enough to go into a fire one time, so therefore he is the most qualified

* Bruh that’s like if I gave a kid the Heimlich maneuver bc he was choking on a gummy worm or some shit and they were like “Well because she did that, she should be the head doctor!!!”

* CAINE IS FULL OF SUCH BULLSHIT OML

* PRETENDING TO CRY N SHIT GOD

* I already know that Diana is gonna try and seduce Sam while she’s actually a spy for the private school kids

* Which, btw, of course it’s the private school kids smh

* I feel like maybe Computer Jack will be someone who eventually switches to the Good Side

* ALSO wow jack really be thinking that he’s smarter than Astrid smh 🙄

* Jack is such a smartsass

* Diana is such a fucking bitch oh my god 😒😒😒

* “You don’t look tough, Astrid” STFU SHES THE TOUGHEST OF THEM ALL

* Ok but I bet Diana and Astrid low key have sexual tension. Like obviously nothing’s gonna happen...but still

* Bruh I hate Caine

* Fuckin Diana with her ‘readings’ bullshit smh

* YESSSS LANA 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 so strong

* Literally how do they not know how to make pasta

* “I thought your people ate tortillas,” QUINN YOU RACIST PEICE OF SHIT UGH

* Poor Bette :(

* Orc is a piece of shit, I know we’ve already established this but I wanted to say it again

* I love Edilio so much

* Orc really using a slur against Edilio huh. Imma kill him

* IM SO DONE WITH QUINN. THIS BITCH REALLY JUST SAID “let him have her” LIKE TF????

* Drake is such a bastard oh my god

* If you hate Quinn and you know it clap your hands 👏🏻👏🏻

* No seriously. I fucking hate him.

* Nooooo Bette died :((

* “I can’t kiss you with your little brother watching” AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

* Did they kiss or not wtf

* What the hell is up with this cat

* Ah so they did kiss!!

* Why didn’t I get details 🤨

* No a baby died 😞

* Quinn s u c k s

* How convenient that Sam got there *right* before Emma disappeared

* Those last 6 minutes before Anna disappeared too and was calling out to her sister, and so for what she thought was her last few minutes on earth she held sams hand :(

* Lol Diana sucks

* ‘WoRDs DONT sCArE mE’ shut up Drake

* Okay Computer Jack is definitely going to betray them because they underestimate him and take him for granted

* You’re telling me Caine and Sam could be TWINS???

* Why was the kiss ‘a mistake’ ?

* Okay NOW they’re awkward

* “But it was the first time I meant it” I CANT. ITS SO CHEESY

* I HATE QUINN

* These kids are crazy violent

* Fuck Diana

* Yikes now Sam only has some of his eyebrows left 😬

* Caine is in love with Diana 👀

* Little Pete might be more powerful than Caine 😛

* THESE KIDS ARE CRAZY LIKE CHILL

* Diana: I really dislike you Astrid: of course you dislike me, I make you feel inferior

* ROASTED ^

* Mmmm Quinn is trying to redeem himself

* “Don’t call me brah. I’m not your brother” OHHHHHHHHHHH HE REALLY WENT THERE

* that’s what you get for being a backstabbing asshole

* Poor Astrid :(

* Poor Little Pete :(

* Bro I need this to be a movie

* I love that Sam just punched Quinn like we had no choice but to stan

* Ok drake would definitely shoot up a school

* Fuck Drake

* Lana is so strong. Like she’s been in so much pain physically and mentally, and she almost died. But she saved herself and now even though she thinks she might be the only person left alive on earth, she is still keeping strong.

* What happens if the boat runs out of gas?

* Bruh these coyotes don’t give up

* THE COYOTES AGAIN??

* “Go out” “You’ll kill me,” “Yes. Go out, die fast. Stay, die slow”

* Wowwwwwwwwwww^

* Lmaooo “L.P.”

* Awwww Sam: “...she was still so beautiful that sometimes he had to look away.”

* Okay he a lil’ horny

* Awe Astrid and Sam hugging I’m soft 🥺

* I’m so sick of these damn coyotes

* Bruh these coyotes 😒

* Diana is annoying

* Literally can’t remember who Andrew is, but they’re about to film his passing away like wtf

* Poor Andrew :(

* “You’re a deep sleeper, Jack. Just now, while you were sleeping? I held your pudgy little hand. Probably as close as you’ll ever get to holding hands with a girl. Assuming you even like girls.” FUCK YOU DIANA

* Okay so Diana will protect Jack as long as he ‘belongs’ to her and does what ever she wants? That’s pretty sus

* Sam and Astrid kissed again 😖☺️

* Lmaooo Albert over here running McDonald’s

* Salads disappeared quickly from the McDonald’s menu since this whole thing? Who the hell orders a salad from McDonald’s?

* So Albert kinda whipped for Mary 👀

* I haaaaatttteeee the private school kids

* Y’know what depending on where I was and who I was with in this situation, I might’ve just killed myself

* “Remember who owns you” ew 🤨

* Diana. I hate you

* Bro I feel bad for Andrew

* How is Lana back at the cabin?

* That IS Lana right??

* Okay things are moving fast between Sam and Astrid. Like she’s already saying “I just want you here with me. Safe” like 🤢

* Lana, about Sam: your boyfriend? Astrid: ThAts nOt WhAt iTs AbouT

* LMAOO AFTER SHE SAID THAT SHE SAID IN A LOW VOICE “kind of” WHAT

* Lol Lana be out here like “yeah shits crazy. Get with the program”

* Ew they’re eating pudding with their hands 🤮

* I don’t care how hungry you are, that’s gross

* Like get a spoon or something

* Lana just called Astrid “smart girl Barbie” 🤨

* Part of me is like “lol” but the other part of me is like “bruh stop Astrid did nothing wrong”

* I still hate Quinn but he is kind of funny

* Lana calling Astrid “the blonde” like girl 😑

* Bruh you’re stuck in a house that is literally on fire and getting hotter by the second as it fills with smoke, now is not the time to be kissing Astrid

* Finally the damn coyotes are gone.

* Sam is so angry and he’s disgusted with himself for being so angry, I relate

* Fuck you, Quinn

* Fuck drake

* I would gladly kill Drake

* OOOOOOOOO EDILIO LIKES LANA AHHHHHH

* SIMP

* omg I love it 😩

* Lmaooooo Sams speech wow

* Sam you should NOT forgive Quinn. Especially not that fast. Yikes.

* Orc should feel bad for killing Bette. I have no pity for him rn

* Yes please kill drake.

* I am so happy that his arm is on fire. 100% he deserves to feel that pain

* Aww that’s kinda nice that Albert is planning thanksgiving dinner for everyone

* DAMMIT DRAKE

* I hate drake so much like dude just shut up and leave everyone alone

* Orc oh my god I could not be rolling my eyes harder right now

* Tbh if Orc and his other friends die, I’m okay with that

* What tf is up with this DVD

* Little Pete caused all of this??? 😦

* I’m sooooo sick of this whole darkness and coyote stuff istg

* Where is Patrick?????

* If Patrick is dead imma throw hands

* Diana is such an evil person. Like Drake is a monster, but she’s horrible in a different way.

* Also ughhhhhhhhhh Drake is back 😒😒😒😒😒 so sick of that mf

* “So. When do we go take down Sam Temple?” 🙄🙄🙄 no one likes you Drake

* AHAHAHHSJAHSHSHHSHD

* SAM JUST TOLD ASTRID HE LOVED HER

* AND SHE SAID IT BACK

* IM. S O F T

* (like my brain is still saying “y’all have talked for less than two weeks and you’re 14”)

* But like whatever 😭❤️

* My eyes just rolled into the back of my skull once Diana appeared

* Taylor low key flirting with Sam tho 👀

* When I first met Dekka, I was all: ‘what the hecka?’

* THOSE DAMN COYOTES

* I’m crying because Quinn couldn’t kill Drake because he was scared, and now children are screaming. Ugh I really wanted him to kill Drake but I understand that killing someone is a crazy thing to have on your conscience

* Call me cold hearted, but I would’ve shot him

* This is all in theory of course ^ I bet if I was in that situation though it wouldn’t be as easy as “just shoot him”

* I don’t think I’ve ever been more annoyed with a fictional character than I am with Drake rn

* Yooo I bet Isabella has some animal powers or sumn

* Caine 🙄🙄🙄 like that emoji doesn’t even come close to describing how annoyed I am

* Wait so is Patrick back now or...?

* Caine really just. Kissed Diana. Because she “owed him”????

* THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT

* I literally hate sooooooooo many characters in this book ugh 😒😒😒

* Quinn is watching Drake kill Sam and is doing nothing. I’m so done with this piece of shit

* Ok finally he tried to shoot him

* “You know it always gets me hot when you say ‘apt analogy.’” “Why do you think I do it?”

* Y’all 🥴🥴🥴

* THOSE DAMN COYOTES

* Literally? Imagine being this heartless. Giving up hundreds of kids to coyotes without hesitation. The hate I have for Caine is real

* Once again, Orc feeling bad for what he did to Bette. And honestly? I’m still okay with that

* This kid is an a l c o h o l i c

* Computer Jack is so annoying like dude stop holding on to Sams leg. Literally

* Still hate Diana, but I like that she’s helping out Sam a little bit

* Ew Diana just kissed Sam on the corner of his mouth 🤢

* I TOLD YALL ^^^

* Yay Patrick is alive :)

* “I guess we won,” Sam said. “Yeah,” Edilio agreed. “I’ll get the backhoe. Got a lot of holes to dig.”

* ^im. Depressed

* I cannot for the life of me remember who Cookie is

* “Orc sat with Howard in a corner by themselves. Orc had fought Drake to a standstill. But no one-least of all Orc-had forgotten Bette.”

* ^good.

* Y’all Sam and Astrid flirting I- 🥴🥴

* We love to see it ^

* Awww “we’re going to the beach” y’all Astrid and Sam are so cute

* THOSE DAMN COYOTES

* FUCK. Goddamn this cliffhanger 😡

[gizkasparadise]

Kdrama review: Vagabond

Master Kdrama rec list.

Series: vagabond Episodes: 16 (14 of 16 aired so far) Genres: Intrigue, action/adventure, SADNESS, drama/tragedy, J U S T I C E, thriller, romance Spoilers in the Review: first episode/basic premise If You Like, You’ll Like: the guardians/lookout!, Taking The Law Into Your Own Hands, four brothers, gu family book, just between lovers/rain or shine, I Lived Bitch, lee seung gi playing yet another wannabe action star that has to run all the time, lee seung gi playing yet another character in love with suzy bae, wholesome high fives, having to run really fast as the bullets go put put ting ting ting behind you, PARKOUR 

Rank: 10/10

“we didn’t die! we didn’t fucking die! high five!!”

-

ok let’s get this out of the way:

do i understand any of the political plot? i do not. is it easy for me to keep track of various Machinations? no i have no idea what’s happening 9 times out of 10. could most of this be solved by singular phone calls? probably. why the hell is a vagabond?  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[puts on aviators]

i don’t give a fuck about all that

premise [SPOILERS for first ep, cw child death]

cha dal gun is a stuntman and martial artist who is raising his nephew after the death of his brother. he has such a signature look in the flashbacks:

a look

he’s not the best in terms of success, but he loves his nephew a lot and does what he can. he teaches his nephew martial arts, and his nephew makes a Super Elite Child Tae Kwon Do Team that pays for him to attend a Diplomatic Tae Kwon Do match in morocco. idk why diplomacy is resting on children’s small fighting shoulders, but okay. 

dal gun’s entire life spirals when his nephew’s plane to morocco unexpectedly crashes, killing everyone on board. Evidence emerges that makes him suspect a cover up, which eventually involves...

go hae ri, a rookie intelligence agent who is not so great at her job. the majority of her coworkers dont expect much from her because they’re awful. hae ri wants to continue her steady government position without obstacles but that doesn’t work when dal gun decides to

P U N C H

his way to 

J U S T I C E

-

main characters

cha dal gun

former stuntman trying to get by turned vigilante roof hopper. he will make you cry. following the death of his nephew, he’ll do Whatever It Takes to uncover the political conspiracy and government cover up surrounding the mysterious plane crash. for justice.

lowkey trying out to be an assassin’s creed player character. does push-ups upside down and shirtless because sbs producers know what they’re about. doesn’t smile much but when he does the lighting on the show increases 17%. he lived, bitch

go hae ri

rookie agent who doesn’t do combat missions. she spends a couple eps Avoiding the Call, but once she gets going she cannot and will not be stopped. brains to dal gun’s brawn. the daughter of a heroic marine who died saving lives, she wants to do the right thing for justice

her hair is so excellent because it’s full of secrets. over sharer. does not know when to recognize that someone has a crush on her. doesn’t think enough of herself. very concerned about people’s dal gun well-being. has the code name elsa? like from frozen?? why???

ki tae woong

a senior at the national intelligence service and you know he’s By the Book because he’s like 1 of 2 people that habitually wears a tie to work. but he also has the Is He A Second Lead? Hair Part so that lets you know he’s actually soft at heart. capable and super cool under pressure, he also, you guessed it, has a sense for justice. 

the blue to dal gun’s red. will do what’s right and if you don’t do what’s right he will scold you for it or be Grimly Disapproving. has the vibe of an intelligence agent who actually submits the paperwork on time in triplicate

some support characters selected by how much they are my favorites

park gwang deok

this man will make you cry. because justice.

gong hwa sook

hae ri’s bff who also works at the national intelligence service. im sure they said what her actual job is at one point, but she’s basically the one who squints at surveillance footage and Finds The Hidden Clue after Enlarging The Image. ride or die, will try to protect you from shame (for justice)

lee jessica / jessica lee

im sure you immediately know who this woman is based on the all-white pantsuit. jessica works for a Company of War that is seeking to get a government contract for providing fighter planes. mmwhatchasay. screams into cellphones a lot while never putting her arms into the sleeves of her designer jackets. has no sense for justice!!

lily

an assassin/mercenary who (gasp) also has a low (low) key sense of justice. is hired by jessica for Reasons. i love her so much. i need more lily in the remaining episodes.

Drawbacks.

does it always make sense? to be honest i could not even tell you a yes or no here

there are many interchangeable evil men in suits

people complain about suzy bae (hae ri)’s acting but honestly i enjoy it so w/e

Reasons to Watch.

THE GRIEVING FAMILY MEMBERS OF THE VICTIMS OF THE PLANE CRASH. one thing vagabond does really well is remember that this isn’t just dal gun’s loss. several family members have important roles in the activism for justice and lmao they make me cry. i cry so much at this show. it’s very human and reminds me of how trauma is addressed in just between lovers/rain or shine

action scenes!!!! it’s all off the fucking chain. like. the production value is so high for this show you can almost see SBS execs figuring out how many subway sandwich scenes need to go into the next drama they write

the mains!!! all three are so great and good and excellent. dal gun and hae ri have some awesome character development throughout -- hae ri especially

the romance between dal gun and hae ri is incredibly sweet and fluffy despite the intense situations they’re in

dal gun is Very Aware that hae ri is Attractive and does a lot of awkward throat clearing while hae ri is just like DID YOU EAT TODAY

Final Thoughts.

power moves! things that make me cry! slow motion action sequences for the aesthetic! battle/power couple! and of course

J U S T I C E

[tlcyellow]

merlin s3 ep4: gwaine

im back BITCHES! YOU ASKED FOR IT (no one did) AND IM ABOUT TO COVER THE IMPORTANT INTRODUCTION OF MY FAVORITE KNIGHT. LETS KICK OFF THIS PARTY

- okay so arthur and merlin are in a tavern and some waitress lady hits on merlin which makes arthur jealous (we get it boo) but then the waitress lady gets terrorized by some thug and arthur jumps to her defense because hes all noble and whatnot

- GWAINE IS HERE. I REPEAT. GWAINE IS HERE!!!!

- the whole bar erupts into chaos. everyones throwing punches. also chairs. merlin does magic in front of everyone and no one notices. its all the usual hijinks

- gwaine has beautiful hair and hes such a badass wow i love him. did i mention i love him? just checking

- gwaine has been stabbed or something idk i was distracted by his hair so arthur and merlin bring him to gaius and also i have a college degree and im in a committed relationship but OHMYGOD HES SHIRTLESS WOW 

- okay so theres going to be a melee which is basically just like a group jousting tournament. theres some evil man (the thug from the tavern) with a magical object determined to beat arthur in the tournament and i really feel like this is a plotline we’ve seen before? 

- gwaine is now agressively hitting on gwen and while i dont condone street harassment of women i do condone gwaine being on camera and saying words so i’ll allow it

- okay so evil man has used this magical blood diamond thing to disguise himself and his servant? (friend? lover? their relationship is not explained.) as knights for the tournament

- ooh we have a Hilarious Spit Take Scene with merlin and gaius. classic humor. 

- okay gwaine has gotten absolutely WASTED at the tavern. he makes arthur pay the bill and confesses to merlin that his father was a knight and when he died the king refused financial help to his family so he hates nobles and that does not surprise me bc uther is a Dick and if i didnt know that arthur was a Soft Baby Angel i would probably also hate him by association 

- okay so in addition to the blood diamonds the evil men also have a sword that looks blunt but is ridiculously sharp to the touch. merlin touches it thinking its dull while cleaning their room, cuts himself immediately, grows suspicious and hatches a plan to steal the sword in the night. or the KNIGHT. hahahaha wow im hilarious

- yikes merlin has gotten caught and gwaine is off to rescue him. is gwaine?? into merlin?? we stan a bisexual icon

- everyone SHUT the FUCK UP leon is HERE. my favorite knight squad is slowly forming.

- gwaine saves merlin through the powers of his beautiful hair and swordwork and arthur vouches for him when the evil men accuse him of attacking them but uther still banishes him from camelot bc he is (say it with me now) a DICK

- gwaine went from hating nobles to literally saying he would die for arthur. we love character development

- lol merlins like “ive gotta save arthur from the evil men. i’ll use my powers.” and gaius is like “with the king and half of camelot watching??” BITCH when HASNT HE USED MAGIC IN FRONT OF THE KING AND HALF OF CAMELOT? no one in this kingdom notices SHIT lol he’ll be fine

- oh morganas here. she looks hot but is she even a character anymore lmao? what has she contributed recently?

- the melee scene is happening and tbh i was not paying attention when arthur put on his helmet or got on his horse so idk which one he is which kind of makes it more fun 

- omg a mysterious knight is helping arthur. could it be??? GWAINE??? THE TITLE OF THE EPISODE AND THE LOML????? BITCH IT MIGHT BE (it is)

- okay i know ive been distracted by gwaine this whole episode but bradley james is still REALLY FINE and dont you think ive forgotten 

- after gwaine saves arthurs life TWICE uther still banishes him from camelot ohmygod

- merins like “gwaine stay. be a knight.” and like YES that would be amazing but it would make the epic knights of the round table episode so much less iconic 

next episode: the crystal cave 

[staliasjeronica]

Riverdale 3.02 Thoughts *Spoilers*

- poor Archie... BUT OMG FALICE YESSSS “This feels right doesn’t it?” That’s because it is right ❤️❤️

- Bughead... is cuddling/probably had sex... in Dilton’s bunker? I don’t like kink shaming but uhhhhh their kink is... 😬😬😬

- YES MR. ANDREWS QUESTION EVERYTHING!!! Let Archie see his dad, his two friends have already abandoned him smh but if it’s been three weeks... Archie has been in isolation for three weeks? Bby 😭😭😭

- Awww, V... and although I’m still bitter about Betty being a total bitch and not apologizing to Veronica, I’m glad they’re friends again. Now we just need Jughead and Archie to do the same since it’s always just been the couples who hang out together. ALSO V has a dress code, and imagining Sweet Pea and Fangs in it makes me wanna cry mY SWEET PRECIOUS BABIES

- Jughead: “of course we’re calling it a speakeasy” ummm tf you mean??? That’s because it IS a speakeasy? Jughead is your random hate (or secret love) for Veronica showing? I can’t tell.

- JOSIE AND KEVIN. JOSIE AND KEVIN. JOSIE AND KEVIN. JOSIE AND KEVIN. JOSIE AND KEVIN. JOSIE AND KEVIN. JOSIE AND KEVIN. JOSIE AND KEVIN.

- 6-4-2 as the password for the speakeasy? I wonder if it means something. And if Stonewall was close enough... what is the actual password?

- REGGIE!!!! The speakeasy looks fucking amazing. I’m speechless!!! Also Veronica and Reggie bitchessss yeahhhhh!!!! If she hired Sweet Pea and Fangs to serve drinks I’ll scream because I love them with my whole being and if they can finally have a job that gives them money, then it’s different than doing crimes and ultimately a better situation for them. Plus I’ve done this in my Sweet Pea story so it’s cool to see me doing something right lolol but ooh mocktails that’s nice I’m glad we’re not gonna delve more into an unrealistic Riverdale

- VERONICA’S FACE AT REGGIE WHEN HE SAYS “NOT YET” IM

- AWWW JOSIE IS SO FUCKING CUTE (also Reggie we see that proud smile you cute fuck) SHE’S SO FUCKING HAPPY TO HAVE A PLACE TO FIND HERSELF AND HER SINGING. So hopefully we get apologies for what happened last season with the milkshake and horrible poster... STILL I can’t wait to see this friendship grow because it BETTER if she’s gonna be singing at La Bonne Nuit

- Kevin bby!!! “As long as I can sing every now and then” I fucking love this so much? It’s funny how this is muchhhhhhhh more exciting and entertaining than the stupid cult/farm story... probably because Betty isn’t a part of it (because we all been knew she’s injected into every fucking plot and it’s so annoying and unneeded)

- Penny... get the fuck out of here. Just... no. You came here looking to give her protection? Well then leave bc she has the Serpents ❤️❤️ they love her for giving them a safe haven now that her father took over The Whyte Wyrm. Also I just realized that they covered Penny’s Serpent decal on the back with a Ghoulie one... so they DO have a decal on the back of their coats or whatever but we have never seen them until now.

- NO JOAQUIN!!! LEAVE HIM ALONE. I’ll jailbreak him myself you leave that precious serpent alone!!!!!!!!!

- but what the actual FUCK is the point of this stupid prisoner fighting? Like??? Why can’t anyone be what they actually are? Poor Archie, being once again manipulated into doing what other people want. Please tell Joaquin what he did for him so they can become closer because I just... This is BULL FUCKING SHIT... also Baby Teeth looks a lot like Dane DeHaan lmao

- CHERONI (idk their ot3 name of Cheryl, Toni, and Veronica lol) ALL TOGETHER WOW!!! PRESIDENT BLOSSOM AND FIRST LADY TOPAZ!!!! I don’t care if that’s just because of the recent presidency issue that Veronica gave to Cheryl, I fucking love it and I am HERE for it! “And Sweet Pea and Fangs should definitely be in attendance” I have died. Goodbye. Sweet Pea and Fangs NEED to know that she specifically asked for them okay bye

- wow that was a lot of time without seeing Bughead and it was fucking refreshing. “Evelyn was helping me, she visited me in the hospital.” “Was that her idea, or her dad’s?” See Betty... this is why no one likes you because when someone is in need you skip directly to your agenda (when Cheryl faced her father as the black hood and Betty immediately asked if it was her father instead of asking if she was alright like a normal person). Oddly how do Jughead and Ethel have more chemistry than Betty and Jughead? Also “but just you” after she side-eyes Betty I’m living. OMG “sorry, Betty, but you’ll never be worthy no matter how hard you try” it’s like Ethel is one of us omfg she just fucking obliterated Betty!!! I bet you Shannon is being bullied about this episode too smh 🙄🙄🙄 but I’m surprised Betty didn’t go into unneeded bitch mode on Ethel mmhm... “and I’m in need of some series peer support” IF ONLY YOU WOULD ACTUALLY GET HELP! But you know that if you did they would tell you that you and jug are too co-dependent and need to break up

- SHIRTLESS REGGIE FUCK YEAH THANKS VERONICA! “Reginald” fuck me up mami!! Omfg no Penny get your disgusting Jingle Jangle away from this amazing, non-criminal establishment!!! Of COURSE Sheriff Minetta... but if Reggie is used to selling it surely he knows a way to hide it. Of course not that much but... he should be quick at thinking of getting rid of it, right? Why didn’t V show him around Pop’s first? Like we know she was set up to get caught but like... it would stall

- Sheriff Minetta is making it 2000% obvious that he’s looking through the boxes he knows is filled with Jingle Jangle... like at least don’t act like you’re working for Hiram lmao Jesus you suck. BUT OMG REGGIE’S SARCASTIC ASS SALUTE WHEN HE’S LEAVING I FUCKING LOVE THAT

- If the empty classroom means the “farm needs some time to catch on” then why the everloving fuck would you waste money on pizza, let alone three boxes of pizza?

- poor Archie... but wouldn’t you want to treat your “tapped” well? So that you can bet on them? Jesus Christ fuck OFF! When Veronica Lodge hears about this... shit will go down. Archie knocked that guy down in two hits holy fuck. ARCHIE GETS POP’S AND SHARES IT WHAT AN ARCHIE THING AWWW

- CHONI BEING CUTE GIRLFRIENDS!!! CHERYL LAUHING!!! PHOTOGRAPGER!TONI!!!!!! CHERONI But I honestly don’t know how I feel about “Serpettes” but since it came out of Veronica’s mouth... suddenly I am in love with it. Cheryl Blossom in the king’s throne... we know who truly deserves to rule over the Serpents 👑❤️ That look between Toni and Veronica hell yeah! Honestly please get into a three-way relationship. In Sense8 they did that and it was the greatest thing — EVERYBODY loved it. Let’s do that here please! “Antoinette” bitch I’m dead

- this team up is so fucking great. Of COURSE Sweet Pea and Fangs we’re right, they’re the (true) KINGS.

- If there are certain levels you need to “attain” to meet a leader... you’re in a fucking cult people. Also then why didn’t Evelyn say anything? And Betty’s face is all like “you traitorous bitch” when she finds out lol.

- They know everything Betty has done? Umm why the FUCK don’t you tell Jughead since that’s the only way he ever finds shit out about Betty? He needs to know that she fucking cheated on him? I mean the cult is creepy af but if they tell Jughead (even though they said they keep everyone’s secrets) he couldn’t possible stay with her... right?

- LMAO JUGHEAD HAS TO KISS ETHEL. But honestly... why does that kiss seem to have more in it than when he kisses Betty? ☠️☠️☠️ it’s probably bc I hate Bughead (and dislike Betty a lot) but still... I feel nothing for this pairing as well but I just find it funny that he has kissed two girls while he’s dared Betty (but both are a part of a game). Oh Ethel tried to kill herself after kissing Jughead... Jesus I know it’s Jughead but come on... also does that mean she could have possibly killed Jughead??? Like??? Imagine how that would have been — instead of dying for the Serpents he died because he was trying to figure out gryphons and gargoyles.

- VERONICA CONFRONTING AND STANDING UP AGAINST HER FATHER FUCK YEAH!!! But Ronnie even if you do have copies... TAKE THEM WITH YOU SO HE CAN’T DO ANYTHING. Your dad is, sadly, smart. You know this.

- aww Archie... HE’S IMAGINING HIS DAD I’M

- damn Betty looks fucking good for the opening of V’s speakeasy! For a sec I thought she was wearing her serpent jacket (😷😷) but turns out it’s just a robe but her hair is bomb. “I trust them more than I trust you, Betty” wow everyone’s attacking Betty lol like I get it bc it’s Betty but damn Alice...

- Reggie is a SNACC bye. CHONI REALLY DID THAT COOL HOT HAND HOLD HUH!!!! V really called Choni her favorite power couple... I’m also gonna take that as low-key shade for Bughead because we all been knew that anyone Choni, and anyone Veronica is with is much better. “THANKS BABE” wow fuck me upppppp Cheryl!!!!

- lol Jughead the manual will probably be gone by tonight bc of plot convenience (also Betty does look good uGH YAS) But Betty your attempt to be cute with Jug isn’t working bc that fresh aid isn’t gonna come off. You should know this???

- SWEETVEE BITCH. I don’t care what they were doing I love the hand touch, bye. Like I know she was PROBABLY asking about protection or something but yes fuck me up! But veggie thooo

- Hiram we don’t want your probably-wired picture of Veronica from your office. “If only you could see how a legitimate business is run” YES BITCHHH. But don’t let him in!!! VERONICA WHY? I know you probably secretly crave his approval and shit but NO NO NO NO NO

- SWEET PEA’S HOLLER FOR JOSIE! God he’s so into her but she only wants a summer fling 😭😭😭 even thoufh she apparenly has a romance later, which means it’ll be during school and therefor, probably going to hurt Sweet Pea 😭😭😭

- also SWEET PEA AND FANGS WITH THOSE FANCY ASS CLOTHES. They own me bye

- Josie YES we love a queen (and Archie baby... you’re such a sweet person for thinking of everyone but yourself first and I admire it bc same but what is your endgame?) Sweet Pea must be internally screaming at Josie’s movements and the song itself bc I know I am.

- oh no I really hope my theory that Archie breaks up with V bc all of thinks about is Hiram isn’t true... but Archie you could have held onto those glass pieces what the FUCK

- Archie destroying the entire cell is also same because when I get angry I legit turn into the hulk and throw shit around... oh damn mad dog! He hid a weapon, I miss Wells Jaha xD what a smart fucker

- wow it’s almost like I knew exactly that someone would find the manual. Of course I didn’t really expect FP and Alice (Betty didn’t say where it was hidden though, but then again their kids are stupid enough to hide it at Jug’s place) Jesus FP don’t hold Jughead like that

- Betty??? “Why are you here, what are you hiding” why tf do you think

- how about everyone comes clean, Betty? You’re the child so literally stop acting like you’re superior

- I just realized how good Jug looked in that tux. Him with Veronica in that purple dress? Would be so fucking bomb

- Why is she still staying with Hiram? Like because of their feud you’d expect her to leave? Like Fred would probably love the company, or Cheryl. Get away from that manipulative fuckhead!

- PEEP JOAQUIN IN THE BACKGROUND. Baby, his arm 😭😭😭

- Archie wouldn’t escaping be bad? Like yeah you’d get out but you’d also be a fugitive? And watch, if it does happen, it’ll be right before someone magically finds a way to get him out.

- PEEP JOAQUIN AS A WHOLE SHOT AND HIS FUCKING EYE NOOO

- but now Kevin will have more reason not to be with him if Joaquin is a fugitive 😭😭😭 I just want Mevin to die off and Joavin to rise is that so much to ask??? However I am here for this Archie/Joaquin friendship

- BETTY AND JUG WHY ARE YOU IN THE BUNKER AGAIN?! Jesus Christ, ew... stop.

- Jug... being you, you should know it’s not over. Especially with how things go? Jesus...

- CHERYL YOU’RE NOT DUMB ENOUGH TO READ THAT. We all know Cheryl would look at it with wonder, read the title, and throw it away.

- also just because people have a manual for some random ass game doesn’t mean they’re gonna play it.

- Ethel’s worshipping that little bitch but she tried to kill herself for him... shouldn’t he be mad at her for failing since Jug saved her? How your loyalty to him works is so confusing ugh

- I’m stating now that if Cheryl, Toni, Veronica, Sweet Pea, Fangs, Josie, Kevin, Joaquin, Archie, or Reggie dies I’m sUING! The only children who don’t deserve anything bad happening to them better be left alone (but we been knew that only being Betty or Jughead will magically give you immunity, and everyone else is fucked). Touch my precious children and I’ll kill the devil himself so try me

[thotvengers]

<p>Bruce walks into the the living room. It is 2012. Nat keeps looking at him as if he had 5 corndogs taped onto him. Thor eat poptart. "HOUSA GOIN GUYS" Thor stands, poptart crumbs fall from his beard. "hello friend I am doing well" Bruce stares at Thors poptart crumbs and spit all over his beard. Its fucking hot. "Well thats good" Banner looked very nice today thought Thor. "Come join us banner" "Whet" "Join us for breakfast" Thor bends over the table as he says it "What" "Food" says Thor. He’s getting worried "Why is tony trying to cut open clints stomach with a butter knife" "And why is steve shirtless" loki appears out of nowhere "whats up asshats i live in the avengers tower now also nobody move because of the election coming up please i don't want you to go" "He’s what" Thor turns around and kills tony "What the fuck is going on here on this day" loki eats popcorn from the sidelines tony dies. " straight rights ! " Bruce freezes. He said a bad word. Bruce is having a breakdown. He is crying. loki legally has to kill bruce now Thor makes out with banner And protects him lokis takes out a knife Thor takes it loki takes out popcorn "What the heck is going on" attempts to kill bruce with popcorn "Wh" "AAAAAAAA" "Loki stop I know it’s a knife" "you know exactly what's going on. you said a bad word and now your time of judgement has come." "What the fuck Loki" "oh, you know," "Please take me now." steve perked up. " no swearing on my christian minecraft server " Tony is revived. "Hey anyone else think loki is.... kinda hot" "No" says Thor Clint turns off his hearing aid. loki bends over seductively "like what u see" steve sweats " i'm catholic sir " "yeah? and i'm a god" "I thought u were going to kill banner and I" Tony licks him lips hungrily. "zoo wee mama" Nat is doing her morning yoga routine dont mind her. loki sighs and turns to thor "look i had a change of plans i'm on a tight-" he winks at tony "schedule" Nick Fury from the back "im tired of these motherfuckin avengers in this motherfuckin tower" steve suplexes nick. :) clint barton is making out with phil coulson for whatever reason Bruce is still crying. steve jealously suplexes clint too Thor laughs loki is breakdancing in the middle of the tower, very aggressively Loki took Bruces shirt to bully him. Bruce is shirtless. His tiddies are out. Tony is revived once again to argue with Steve then they make out Bruce is crying. steve is crying he suplexes tony loki laughs at everyone who is crying Clint is crying out of confusion steve tries to suplex loki while he cries harder "im a virgin" steve says running out steve fails steve dies loki laughs rip captain America, steve had mehtalosmaisniadjhjsa loki films it and puts it on youtube and he is entitled to compensation he didnt even get to apply for aarp :( bruce says " anyone want to suck my tiddies " Bruce hanging from the edge of the tower. Bitch gonna fall. loki raises his hand Thor and Clint say yes "Help me" "Ok" Says Thor "do u want me to suck ur tiddies while ur dangling or nah" "No dont suck my tiddies" Thor helps him up "Thank you hero" bruce dabs "bitch u just asked if i wanted to do so" "You want a sex (:" natasha offers to suck his tiddies "No" natasha is :/ loki physically puts more grease in his hair From where from his ass his ass Steves dick is out. Schlap loki hears a car pull up outside. "whos that" tony says. "our new " loki replies. i walk up the stairs confusedly. this is the story of how i was sold to loki only on wattpad loki is eyeballing that dick DKCNDKNCKDNVB Schlap Schlap y/n shivered. where was i ? whow ere the avengers ? why were their dicks out loki laughs and brings y/n inside the tower Loki cast a spell and made everyone in the tower naked. no its valid No y/n cries " who are you, ugly bitch " loki slaps y/n on the ass "how dare u speak to ur daddy like that" loki looks down at your big ol' bobbies and licks his lips "they didnt tell me you'd be so attractive, quim". y/n blushes angrily "Why are we all naked" Thor covers his ears while Clint covers his eyes cus he cant cover his ears cus he cant hear y/n tries to run but bumps into tony " please help me i don't want to fuck loki " There is several schlaps of dicks in the room and the several flops from nats tits. loki chases y/n with a rubber dildo while laughing loki makes y/n scrub his balls y/n cries " rubber gives me hives " Clint shoots Loki again y/n is sobbing more loki makes u listen to ball scrubbing asmr before u go to sleep suddenly ant man busts in even tho he wasnt an addition to the mcu yet: "1-800-ARE-YOU-SCHLAPPIN?" y/n pretends to sleep so loki will leave Thor kills Loki "Somebody fuck me Im ready to not be a virgin anymore" ant man gets tiny and climbs in steves ass loki like the dramatic gay bitch he is fakes his own death y/n is feeling so much pain because ............................................................................... she was actually in love with loki " i will miss u, ugly bitch " thanos bursts thru the tower doors "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUCKERS" y/n smiles " please fuck me " Thor tosses lokis body out avengers tower loki comes back to life only to have his ribcage shattered by thanos instantly t hanos sees a very cute girl and gets shy and trys to hide his erection when he sees y/n bobbies Bruce already naked turns into hulk. "HULK WILL FUCK THANOS" y/n is bright red because she knows that prple daddy is staring at her b - b - b - boob Thor likes what He sees loki comes back once again from the dead to witness this t hanos has never bottomed before.... bottom for who Jesus No KXNCKDMFKV Wait Hulk takes Thanos and tries to fuck him. It doesnt work. dick too big loki makes thanos' asshole bigger so it can fit hulks dick Thanos punches Hulk and he turned back to Bruce. Thanos throws Bruce out the window. He is falling. "i guess that cute girl will just have to peg me now ;)" t hanos says Thor catches him y /n blushu blushued t hanos approaches y/n with his dick out " i - i've never done this before .................................................................... " y / n stuttered Steve gets in the way. "i'll be gentle" t hanos says "Y/n dont do this. Its a trap." t hanos shatters steves ribcage " why would you sya that !!! t hanos loves me !!! " Steve takes the risk and sacrifices himself for everyone. "Not In my Christian household" says Steve y / n cries and punches steve "don't listen to him he's lying" says t hanos He starts to suck Thanos Slurp Slrurrp Slrurirlrl0 Slruerlrle0 Sluuuuurp Shcluerp Shcjeleeu Shcleuepe t hanos blushes and moans y / n blushed again " i don't mind a threesome " Shxlueuuueerps Shxleueep Slurrrp Slcheullrlrulp Schlururup Shxlrurrrrruuup Shcluruueuuuuuurp Slurp Lick lick slruuuururp Slururjrrlrlr "jesus calm down i already blew my load 38 times now" I’m dying Blows rasberry Sluuurrp Sluuururirurp steve a thirsty bitch "hehe that tickles"   "no" says t hanos as he rp fucks  Steve blows into thanos'dick hole like a kazoo. Thanos dies.  steve will make sure everyone in this house dies a virgin but him  " NO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Y/N SCREAMED  t hanos dies Yeet " U DIDN'R EVEN GET TO PEG ME "  Bruce is naked.  this is how avengers 2 will go  loki revives t hanos  avengers 4... oop  "Hey you guys want to all gang bang me"  Thor fucks bruce  " yes "  "yes" says t hanos  the avengers have an orgy except nat bc shes a lesbian" i've never eaten ass b4 " says y/n  Nat is doing her yoga routine  "its fun. let me show u" t hanos says to y/n  "Im open for alliances"  y / n blushes and touiches t hano's ass  Clints Backup finally arrives t hanos spreads his cheeks hanos's bootyhole quivers  Somebody is calling on the avengers phone.  y / n extends the wet pink muscle in her mouth nervously  Riiiiiing Rinnnnnng  t hanos is already milking his own tiddies  Clint leaves with Natasha with rats bites t  Riiiiiiiiiiiing  t hano's in the ass  Natasha bangs darcy Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing "someone get the fucking phone i'm in the middle of something here"  Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing  " ah not there "  Clint gets it  "Hi! Its peter, is mr stark there?" Oh no whispers Clint  "thats a child. i HATE children!" t hanos gets up and goes to kill peter  Clint turns off his hearing aid again  " i ate his ass dead " y / n  "Im at the phone mr thanos sir"  "hello child. i hate u."  peter says "mr. thanos i don't feel too good" and evaporates "good."  too late hes in the shadow realm  " bye lol "  AM He rescues peter and leaves  Thor arrive. Naked. Hes very sexah. "now where were we" t hanos says and spread his cheeks again, open for business  AM MEANWHILE IN THE SHADOW REALM everyone is dicks out Sam and bucky fucking the the dust realm. Ant man is dancing with his dick out. Drax and star lord are experimenting.  with their assholes  Lokis in bondage lowoki camera zooms in on bucky's face "at first i thought the dust world was hell but i love it here. thanks t hanos!" "it's free real estate" t hanos says  bucky sighs " i love ur bald ass head sammy "  "Then suck it fuckass" says sam  "Suck my head hoe"  Thanos arrives to the realm. "If you guys want to live then suck my toes" They all scatter like rats to his toes. Theyre all sucking them like cow utters PRESENT</p>

the end

[vestrits]

ive already pretty much liveblogged everything on twitter BUT i like to keep track of these dumb things so here is a quick recount of what happened on my trip:

> plan: go to spain, then rome to meet friend > is in spain. meets my bestie & stays at his flat, BUT my bestie is in a pinch bc he has no job & his flatmate tells me that on saturday they might give a party if he finds sth > he does > me (against friend): ‘what a shame looool i rlly want to stay now ugh’ > him: ‘yea well but u already paid right’ me: ‘yea i cant just change my fight ha ha ha’ > literally 2 seconds later: ‘not to be impulsive or anything but im 100% checking flights and here’s one on sunday lol’

> yaaaaay i surprise friend

MEANWHILE AT NIGHT i have a dream abt the flatmate kissing me and hes 100% nice and i wake up going ‘oh no’  bc he’s not my type but suddenly i Notice him aka RIP ian’s aloof cool self, u will now Die because

my brain: PUSHES THE REVERSE HAREM AUTOPILOT MODE BUTTON

> catches glimpse of him out of the shower in the morning, shirtless, runs into the fkcing door > drops phone, a water boiler, a plate, idk what else but IT WAS BAD I DROPPED EVERYTHING LITERALLY EVERYTHING > i need his pc so i went to ask if i could use it, SURPRISE BITCH he’s in the bathroom, SHIRTLESS, opens it, me ‘o-oh oops’ ‘no no sfine what do u need’ (has to lean in and whisper so friend doesnt hear) (dies) > gets super self-conscious when he sits next to me, against me, during the fcking films we watch in the evening > INCREDIBLY easily startled at EVERYTHING  > stumbles 54789 times in front of him or not in front of him, hits head every time im in the kitchen, > manages to fuck up cooking RICE

me: ok fine so im into him now FINE I GUESS

> commence operation ‘ian tries not to be a cowardly hoe’

> gets fkcing tipsy on the last night just so i can muster my courage and REALLLY lean against him (i dont rlyl remember this part except that i reached for his hand twice when i got jumpy) > since 45687 of my friends told me to do something that thought remained prevalent the entire night so my tipsy ass, after receiving a generous amount of 3 hugs, goes up to him and goes ‘can i-- touch your HAIR--’ and meep meep red alert i want to get out of there after realising that was NOT right so i awkwardly pat it and gtfo after mumbling more nonsense

> i was supposed to get a flight that morning but me + tipsy + my fUCKING PERIOd + 2HRS OF SLEEP = i wake up with a fever and nausea; IM NOT GETTING ON A PLANE LIKE THAT so i cancel my plan to go to rome and extend my stay in spain YET AGAIN

> also wants to die bc at least i wouldnt have had to face him after the awkward phrase but NOPE > 5 hrs later i wake again and my pal is at his work so its me all alone in the kitchen and i barely manage to keep the dishes alive, flatmate shows up super confused as to why im still here and ehhrhrh ANYWAY

anyway

> i finally tell my bestie in spain that i seem to have a thing for his flatmate > ‘yes i think its obvious hahah’ SSSSHHHHUT UP I WANNA DIE > ‘u should try something’ commence stage 2 of the plan > SUCCEEDS in holding onto his arm even tho it was only the last 10ish minutes of the film (we watch a film every night) > during the day, nothing tho > doesheevenlikeit.png > the final night: HE MAKES THE FIRST MOVE angel choirs are singing i am blessed and can leave in peace > the end

ish. im still dead bc i wrote him a thank u note for keeping up with my awkward shy self and drew a fat cat on it and totally made it weird i bet and i want to fucking die again bc now im thinking ‘WHAT IF HE WAS JSUT PITYING ME’ (very likely) and uhhh yeah anyway im going back in february to hopefully have a blast again bc ALL THIS ASIDE it was rlyl fun and i feel really proud of myself for being able to try sth EVEN THO IT WAS THE MOST AWKWARD THING EVER 

> basically this entire video probably happened to me

[i-c-f-a-m-e-blog]

Never date a newly single man

I always have the best damn luck wth messing with newly single people. It's always the ones who's working it out with their ex or working "it" on their ex. I get so tired of feeling like that guilty pleasure. Not the good one but the one you use when your spouse aint looking. Like looking at porn on silent knowing damn well we all watch it to hear the noise. You want it but too scared to do it. Until one day you grow some balls. So recently i messed with this boy I use to know. We had became acquaintances through a mutual friend. I Wanted him before but at the time he had a man or a situation and I don't do niggas in situations.So my messy ass seen that he said he was single on Facebook for a couple of days now and decided to like a couple of photos.Hours later he inboxed me. You know with the same pick up line every nigga use. The " hey stranger long time " line. Then I use the same corny ass come back line. "No you a stranger not me". We caught up throughout the day texting and talking and laughing. I mentioned I seen he was single and asked himif he was okay. He said "yes fuck that nigga. I need to focus On me and my dreams.I'm finally free".I said "I hear that lol.got to do what's best for you ugly". Then the flirting began per usual and we decided that we should pre game at his house and go to the club that weekend . I was hype. Lord knows I shouldn't of been. Lord story short that Saturday came and it was time to get ready. Mind you me and him chatted that Monday. So I was planning what I was going to wear and everything.I made my way to Brooklyn to go meet him at his house. I'm not telling y'all where in Brooklyn. Got off that 494738394 hour long ass train ride and walked to his house . He opened the door shirtless. My mouth dropped for second but then I picked it back up real quick. I said " eww put a shirt on ugly". He started laughing. Lord knows nothing about that body was ugly. So we talked and played music and talked some more then tapped the Henny bottle and started taking shots. It's reasons why I don't do henny. Henny is Viagra in a bottle. Certain music came on and we started singing along. Once freaking r kelly half on a baby came on I started singing every word. That's my shit. So he started laughing and I pushed him telling him to hush. Then we started pushing each other then looking at it each other more and he started to lick his lips. I kept looking down and away. Anyone that knows me knows I do that to stop thinking about how im about to make a bad decision. So he pulled my face and we begin kissing. I promise you I never felt softer lips. I pushed away and said "are you sure?" And he begin kissing me with tongue. If it was a camera in that living room I would of looked at it and smirked . He took my hand and We left the half way finished bottle and cups in the living room and made our way to his room. All I had in my head as I was walking is the rupaul meme saying DONT FUCK IT UP. One thing lead to another and I pushed him back. I wanted to show him my skills. ( WARNING ITS ABOUT TO GET EXPLICIT) So I started to slob on his dick so sloppy as I let the spit from down from the head of his dick and catching it before it reaches the balls. He was looking in amazement.Eyes rolling back and everything. I felt like I was pinky in a porn shoot. Mollywhopping that dick.So I begin licking up the base sucking each side until I got to the head. Then suck it repeatedly as he grab the back of my head. He was in heaven. Head heaven. He made me feel like my skills was porn star level. He pulled my head up and said " chill before you make me bust bro". Before I could comprehend what he said he threw me on the bed and turned me on. He rested my legs on his shoulder as the whip cream and chocolate was right next to him. He planned this shit out he know what was going to happen.and he started pouring some down my thighs and catching it all with his tongue slowly on each side of my thighs. Lord I was in heaven. Trying not to make my legs to the earthquake shake. Looking like Beyoncé and dance for you. Then he sprayed whip cream all up and down my leg and slowly lick it off getting every drop of it as i grab my head. I didn't want this shit to end. I was in the moment. In the grove. Then he flipped me over and pour chocolate on my cheeks and other parts and licked it clean. He was ready to devour my chocolate ass.Hold my legs down so i don't run from that good eating. Here's the fucking kicker ! Then all of a sudden someone begins banging on the door like it's the cops.we both jump. Then he tells me to continue laying down he going to go check. So I'm laying there smiling. I'm about to get some and tell my friends how I got some. Wrong. The next thing I hear is his ex boyfriend walk in talking about he miss him and let's try for real this time. I'm laying there like this can't be happening. This a fucking prank. I guess his ex turned around and seen the Henny and the cups and started going off. Talking about " who the fuckkkkkk you had over here ?!?! Is he still here ?!?! Bitch come out ?!??" Part of me wanted to go out there so bad but for what ? I don't fight over men. So as they was arguing and fighting . I gladly put on my stuff in the room and went down the fire escape. Almost died do that shit my clumsy ass. Finally get down and as soon as I get down. He bust in the room and you can hear him tossing and turning shit over. I'm walking to the train pissed because I ain't get none. More pissed because it's 2 in the morning and Brooklyn trains be acting up after 8:39pm. So I'm guessing he left his house and he kept calling me and texting me. I didn't answer. I felt like a fool I should of known that was going to happen. A week pass by and what do I see on Facebook they are back together smh. Moral of the story besides niggas ain't shit is don't mess with newly single man they always end up going back.

[catbtr0822]

Gøner (chapter) 4

We woke up next morning to yells of my mom she thought we were doing something wrong like she said what is GOING ON IN HERE WHO IS THIS I DON’T WANT YOU PREGNANT!!!! Tyler woke up so scared in his boxers and shirtless and me in my bra and underwear so yeah I’d probably think something happened but we just cuddled that’s all I was embarrassed trying to explain everything he was getting his clothes and putting it on he was flushed with embarrassment he got his knives and backpack my mom kicking him out and me chasing after her and him I hurry and put my shirt back on and shorts I see my sister in the kitchen just shocked and scared asking what happened I ignored and ran after them when Tyler got outside I grabbed his arm quickly and kissed him he kissed back and smiled my mom saw and she furiously grabbed me he whispered Forest treehouse and ran inside the forest my mom watched and looked very mad.

Mom: who the hell is that and what were you two doing in your bed huh?

Me: ok ok so let me explain

Mom: DO IT THEN

me: mom he is a very innocent guy he is very nice and he’s my only friend in school yesterday I made Jocelyn food and then she stayed in the kitchen eating YOU didn’t lock the door when you left I went to go watch TV when I hear footsteps and when I walk to the kitchen I see this fat masked guy with a gun on Jocelyns head he says make a move and she’s dead Jocelyn was crying and the other guy had a bag robbing stuff luckily ty came to visit me and he saw from the Window went to go get his knives and well… uh killed the guys but don’t worry nobody saw and they are buried in the back yard anyways he wanted me to go hang with him but Jocelyn was scared to be alone so we stayed here and he stayed over it was hot so we took off our clothes we weren’t completely naked c'mon mom we could have been dead you should thank him.

Mom: wh… what ok so he saved your lives huh were still going to get a pregnancy test and I need proof that he saved your lives ok but right now after the pregnancy test ok? Oh and you’re grounded unless you prove

So we went to the backyard and she still didn’t believe so I was grounded but we headed to the store and we passed by his house I had my windows down and he was in his front porch he saw me I saw him we just smiled I saw his beautiful eyes I cant get enough of him my sister said

Jocelyn: I heard…

Me: what?

Jocelyn: that the Tyler guy is only your friend

Me: oh well umm…

Jocelyn: are you guys dating or like what?

Me: I don’t know but I know I love him

Jocelyn: you need to ask him

Me: promise me you wont tell on me

Jocelyn: promise

So then my mom took me to Walgreens and there she searched for the pregnancy test and got three boxes I knew why she was so worried about these things but its something I’ll have to tell later on anyways when we got home I took one test and it said negative duh all we dud was cuddle when I took the rest they came out as negative she was happy and she said ok I’m going to work now you’re grounded so yeah bye she left and my sister Jocelyn said I’ll be fine just go

I rushed to my room and grabbed my boots put on some skinny jeans on and a black shirt and I went out and I hurried up inside the Forest I ran so fast I fell really hard a rock hit my head then it was all black... I wake up inside a tree house well now I know where I am I get up and look into the window of the tree house and when I look down I see Tyler sitting in a branch that has been broken onto the floor like a collapsed tree he's singing a beautiful song his voice just made me fall more in love and he has a ukulele Tyler: 🎵wise men say only fools rush in but I cant help falling in love with you like a River shortly to the see darling so it goes some things were meant to be... oh 🎵 I cant help but to smile and cry at the same time I know he didn't write the song but I didn't know he sang beautifully I love him so much when I stare at him sing he suddenly feels watched and looks up at me and smiles I smile back he runs up the tree house and rushes to hug me I can feel his warmth on me its raining so I feel cold he hugs me so hard we sit down Me: ty? Tyler: yes? Me: what are we? Tyler: we are soulmates Me: I love you Tyler: I love you too baby. He then leans in to kiss me I hold his cheek and he we start to make out he lays down on his bed I get in him and start kissing more I feel his Boner and I quickly get off he just says what happened I say uh I cant he says I'm sorry I wasn't going to then I say don't worry about it I get on him we take off our clothes and we make love in the treehouse the next morning I wake up I realized I was grounded and I got up and put my clothes on I checked the time in the old clock in tylers treehouse I hurry up and I don't see Tyler there I look down and I see him talking with Jenna I hurry down there and Me: what's going on Tyler: she came over here and talked to me while I was looking for wood to start a fire Jenna: I want you back ty Me: oh hell no bitch he's my man Jenna: what? Tyler: its true she's mine and I don't want you so leave me the fuck alone you slut Jenna: well I don't care because I like your brother more whatever ill go fuck him instead Me: please go now Tyler: now Jenna leaves then I kiss Tyler and say I have to go will you walk me out? Tyler agrees and he walks me out I tell him will you come to my house later he says yeah let me just eat dinner I say ok and go home and then I walk home and I see my mom standing outside mad Mom: I said you're grounded why did you go outside and not comeback in the night were you with him the Tyler guy?... Me: no I wasn't leave me alone I ran inside the house and locked myself in my room and start to cry because I'm emo ok so then my mom knocks my room and says throw the TRASH NOW I agree so then I walk outside and go to the trash which is a bit far from my house when I'm done and I'm walking and I see Trevor the douche bag of the school then he shouts grab her from the back and two big guys grab me out of nowhere one covered my mouth Trevor said you want to act like a little bitch to my sister you slut then you get rocks his friends grabbed me and took me to the forest I was crying but I kinda thought it would end quickly they tie me up and start touching me inappropriately I cant do anything about it the thought of Tyler comes to my mind and Trevor throws a big rock at me and I started bleeding it hit my head so hard I almost blacked out I felt dizzy one of his friends were touching my breasts I wanted it to be over I wanted it to stop I wanted to die... but Tylers: POV I felt pain in his heart but every time I got closer to the forest MY pain grew so I followed the pain and I had weird thoughts about carina in a funeral so i followed the pain and it lead me to her it hurt so bad mostly seeing carina getting hurt by Trevor I hate Jenna I wish death upon her my sanity grew stronger I never told anyone about this only Zack ever since I was a little boy I have been able to do this its like an ability my eyes turn red and my hands turn black and my neck im not myself anymore all the time this happens if you take a picture it turns blurry when I was small this little boy beat up my little sister and his brother came I was so pissed I stared into his soul and he bled to death his blood starts pouring out from his eyes and then from his mouth and all of it drained and he died then after that my sister started to call me blurryface all the time this happens I call myself goner but that's a power and I'm going to use it I start by sucking their blood out Carinas POV I see Tyler but he doesn't look like himself his eyes are red his hands and his neck are black he looks hot like always but then I look at Trevor and his friends and I see blood pouring out of their mouth and eyes Tyler is doing it its freaky I don't know what it is but im glad this is the second time he has saved my life I love him when they are all dead he runs over to me and unties me from the tree I start to kiss him but I'm all hurt when I was done kissing him he looked normal again Finally Tyler carried me to his tree house and started to spit in my wounds and bruises I feel disgusted but then a minute later they are all cured like nothing happened im shocked and scared I don't know what to feel Tyler say you're the one its you I say what he says you're that little girl from all my dreams and I said wait you're too I used to dream a lot about this boy I cant believe it its him... To be continued.....

[fart-gate]

SG1

Season 4 episode 3

"UPGRADES"

Notes by me

- jack getting pissed the tokra are so vague with their info and then immediately shutting up bc ooh pretty lady

- "you may call me Anise, it means noble strength"

"I'm Daniel , it means God Is My Judge"

"I'm Jack , it means.......whats in the box"

- Daniel so excited that shes an archeologist like calm down buddy

- this tokra so impatient like you just came thru 2 minutes ago asking for them to be experiments and expect them to say yes immediately? Arent tokra supposed to be like professionals

- tokra lady: wear my friendship bracelets or I'm leaving

- ah yes this episode contains the ONE time Jack knocked tealc out with a punch

- "tealc im really sorry"

"You are not"

- Shirtless Daniel shirtless Daniel shirtless Daniel

- Daniel super mad that Jack can read really fast and he cant

- Jack broke her stress ball :\

- LMFAO the first thing Daniel does is speed read a book when his powers arrive. He's read his entire library in an hour

- fraiser is right and pretty and we should listen to her bc shes right and pretty

- woa Daniel not needing his glasses!

- whoops! Forgot to tell you that the armbands fuse to your body! Looks like you have permanent friendship bracelets 😌

- Jack weight lifting 600 pounds when he could be weight lifting me smh

- sam wrote a whole book and you know what? Even tho I have no idea what she says most of the time i would like to read it

- jack: look how cool I am now *kicks a hole in hammonds office wall*

- HE JUST LIGHTLY TAPPED SILER AND HE FALLS OVER A GUARD RAIL I'm sorry that was so funny

- "steak" this is me when im hungry

- they blurred outa there like Clark Kent

- they are getting RECKLESS

- they all ordered a total of 16 steaks (and a diet coke)

- "Earth, steaks. Theres a difference?"

- akdnejsj when that guy calls Daniel a geek and he turns around like hes about to unleash a can of whoopass

- "let it go"

"Not this time"

Ok ouch

- Daniel talking to Jack using his eyebrows: should we kick their asses

Jack: "okay"

- BAR FIGHT!

- camera view from outside and you just hear yelling and blows landing

- your honor they are dumb and I love them

- fraiser: they are all high as fuck

- alright its time to cut off some arms whos first

- jack: it was all sams fault shes a steak enthusiast

- tokra lady LIED what a bitch

- time for tealcs seasonal suicide mission I guess

- every episodes problem can be fixed by blowing shit up and I wouldnt have it any other way

- "we'll need snacks"

- sg1 said fuck your rules!!!

- reckless bastards the lot of them

- tealc letting them go I cant take it

- when they blur when they run reminds me of smallville so much

- PROBLEMS ARISE

- okay the arm bands just falling off?? Horrible timing 0/10

- when the staff blast flies by them in slow motion POETIC CINEMA

- tealc!!! Keep disobeying orders bestie you are so good at it 💕

- does Daniel still have the back pack full of naquada or did he drop it

- I wonder how fast Sam was going when she hit the shield. Be funny if it made a smacking noise when she hit it haha im sorry

- THE SLOW MOTION OF JACK RUNNING BACK TO HER ONLY TO HIT THE SHIELD ajsbdjsjsndjsjdnd

- "shouldve brought more snacks"

"I dont think that would have helped"

- Daniel choker

- tealc not leaving even tho he knows they wont make it out in time💖💖

- tealc and Daniel are just gonna stand here and wait all my kids are in love

- Jack not leaving sam?

- oh he dropped the naquada and Sam tried to grab it but Jack said no.

- "didnt I tell you guys to get back to the gate?"

"Yeah tealc wouldnt leave"

Daniel you little shit

- tealc dialing the gate and then running back to help them get there im sobbing

- mission success! Notes from this mission include Dont Let The Tokra Use You For Experiments Again

- "for what its worth....im sorry"

"Me too"

"Me three"

".........i have nothing to apologize for"

- the tokras sad face that they are mad at her like yeah??? Maybe do a little more research on something before using it on humans you dumb ho

~

Whump under the cut

Tealc whump: punched by jack, knocked out

Daniel jackson whump: collapsing, "I cant move" , passing out

Jack Oniell whump: collapsing, passing out

Sam carter whump: collapsing, passing out

No glasses!Daniel for about 20 minutes of the episode.

🎶listening to Something I Need by One Republic 🎶 for all of them not leaving each other even tho they couldve DIED I'm going insane