#yes im always clinical about shit

[wildfoxes-spirit]

Was anyone else's 8th grade graduation this ridiculous?

Thank gods I didn't go and sit though TWO prayers and an over the top dramatic speech about how your "moving up" I mean seriously, you don't have to pull out a sword and dub thee a king, knight, whatever it was. And PRAYERS??? I'm sorry is this Sunday school? If the United States could make it mandatory for the fucking bible to be a curriculum they would do it in a heartbeat. Why does everyone get all emotional over this? Congratulations you survived hell level two now you get to move to hell level three! Some of you will even go to hell level 4 but everyone ends up in the lowest pit of hell eventually.

Look if you enjoyed 8th grade graduation and like the whole concept than don't take this to heart. I'm just salty about pretty much everything right now

[eclarinet]

same soup... different day

[effy-writes]

If you don't mind, could you write headcanons for blitzø with a platonic gn reader where they were just out doing something and then someone mistakes them as a couple? Please and thank you!!!!

ofc!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Platonic: Blitz x GN! Reader: Mistaking You Guys As A Couple HC’s

(GN reader but it can be afab or amab (m preg))

• you guys are so touch starved that when yall are in public people would mistake you as a couple because you guys are ALWAYS touching each other. whether it’s hand holding, hugging, pushing each other, etc. so obviously people are gonna mistake you guys as a couple

• the first time somebody mistaken you guys as a couple was when you two went to get some ice cream and the worker said, “how long have you guys been dating?” you laughed while blitz was explaining himself and quickly denied, “oh no, they’re like my sibling.”

• now with this, you guys are always pranking people. you two would go to a crowded area and hold hands and say, “you’re the best sibling ever” and then proceed to “make out” (as in stage kissing) and watch as everyone looked at you with disgusted looks

• another incident was blitz took you out to eat for your birthday at a fancy restaurant. the waiter gave blitz the check and said, “treat your partner good,” and he quickly said, “no im keeping them hostage and giving them a nice treat for being such a good captive.” the waiter had a horrified look as he stared at you. “don’t worry, blitz is the greatest kidnapper” and then blitz would reply, “don’t worry about them, they got stockholm syndrome”

• so basically, everytime somebody mistakes you as a couple, you two would pull pranks like that.

• but this time was different. you two were holding hands and laughed about stupid shit when a photographer got yalls attention. the photographer said, “you two are the cutest couple in Hell, can i take a picture of you guys for my blog? like you two kissing?”

• you and blitz exchanged glances, trying to figure out a prank to do but couldn’t. blitz then thought of the greatest idea ever. “actually i’m taking them to get an abortion because they’re my side piece and can’t let my wife know.”

• you were so shocked you couldn’t even think of anything. both you and the photographer was speechless. the photographer quickly left, making blitz laugh his ass out loud. “oh come on, that was a good one.” “i got an idea, go to the abortion clinic and i say i got you pregnant.” “oh FUCK yes.”

[therethatstar]

phumpeem high school au where phum is the trouble maker and peem is the model class president. and when phum gets into stupid fights with the upper classmates, peem is always asked to patch him up like a kindergarten kid who got his knee scraped on the playground. phum would always shamelessly flirt with peem, always trying everything to get under peem’s skin but with someone like phum, peem knows him better than anyone else. phum is good at annoying peem, unabashedly flirting at every given moment, and peem is good at ignoring his nonsenses.

so basically peem have known phum his whole life, being next door neighbors since birth. and while they were pretty close when they were kids, they kind of drift apart as they get older. both in their own different friend groups now.

and phum is almost an entirely different person now. he doesn’t take anything serious these days. he was always a prankster since a kid but it’s like these days, he’s going through a phase where he just doesn’t give a fuck.

and peem doesn’t know what has gotten into phum but he’s always been called into the office, he always has bruises on his faces, constant dry blood at the corner of his lips. and peem doesn’t want to admit that he’s always looking at phum a little longer than he means too. always noticing everything about him. if he’s having a bad day, a good day. maybe that comes with someone you have known your whole life. like an instinctual thing. like you just know them. whether you want to or not.

and one day, when phum’s face is more fucked up than usual and he refused to go the clinic, their homeroom teacher asks phum to go patch him up, just because she has a soft spot for phum and doesn’t want the school to call in his parents for this. yet again.

and phum is different. not only is he not throwing dumb cringey pick up lines at peem. he’s avoiding peem’s eyes the entire time. more quiet and reserved than usual. so out of character for a guy who walks around the hallways like he owns the entire building. when peem presses a little harder on the cut on his upper cheekbone than he meant to, phum whines in pain so peem hastily mumbles “sorry” and tries to be more careful.

“you’re graduating in a year phum, you can’t be getting into these kind of trouble all the time.”

“my grades aren’t gonna hold up anyway so what a few fights gonna do to my transcript.”

“who are these guys you’re always fighting with anyway?”

“why? you’re gonna go kick their ass for me, pretty boy? i can see it. it’s always the more subdue one that can punch the shit out of a man.”

“phum.” peem warns and phum cracks at that, smiling at peem, a little too sheepishly, looking a lot like the boy that peem have known his whole time now.

“you’re stupidly smart, phum. and it pisses me off sometimes because you just don’t try.”

“what are you going to give me if i do try?”

“what?”

“what’s my reward?”

“your reward?”

“yes.”

“you’re doing it for yourself. what does it have to do with me?”

“because i like to have something to work for.”

“your future?”

“lame.”

peem rolls his eyes.

then phum throws him in a loop, giving him a total whiplash. everything stutters a complete halt and the air gets knocked out of his chest and his lung feels utterly wrung dry.

he asks, “go out with me.”

“what?”

“if i get my grades up by next semester. then go on a date with me. that’s my reward. you.”

“stop fucking around, phum.”

“im not.”

“you should do things for yourself, phum.”

“if i ask you to go out with me now, would you?”

“no.”

“okay, then i’ll do better. i won’t get into these fights anymore and i’ll study harder. i want to go on a date with you, but the peem i know deserve more than to go on a date with a dude with his face all beat up. he needs a guy who is stupidly smart and also have a gpa to match the stupidly smart brain of his.”

phum looks kind of stupid, being all teasingly cocky and annoyingly confident with his face all bruised up with fresh cuts all over but peem just can’t look away. his heart rate is terrible mess. there’s a buzz at the tip of his finger, in the pit of his stomach, along his veins, and peem feels like he has tipped over, head first, hook line and sinker. the whole ordeal.

[wilsons-three-legged-siamese]

another fic of mine woah 😩

fandom; house md

can be interpreted as non slah or slah between house/wilson

summery; wilson is dying, being taken care of a person. but wilson cant remember who they are.

word count; 1.3k

tw; major character death.

a/n: i dont have ao3 so it shall not be put up on there. if it is notify me, ill say if i have given permission as if someone asks i probably will say yes.

this was based on the song "rises the moon - liana flores"

rises the moon.

days seem sometimes as if they'll never end.

its august. the 20th if we're being exact. coming to the close of summer and the opening of autumn, usually being my favourite time of the year. cozy sweaters, warm socks and scarfs, the perfect weather. usually sunny with a nice breeze. well, i wish i could enjoy it. instead, im stuck in bed, my breathing laboured and my body shaking. though, this year, summer was my favourite.. june. i really enjoyed that, when i could walk without aid and just, enjoy life. ever since mid july, ive been deteriorating quicker than an abandoned building, which has been agonising. i want the pain to go away, please. it hurts..

but i dont want to die.

from the bedroom, i hear the singing voice again, a soothing melody. their voice smooth and deep. i sigh softly, it being a sort of comfort for me, knowing at least someone was there and i wasn't alone. their humming and muffled singing drowns out the continuous beeping of the heart monitor besides me. they had stolen the machine after faking being ill in a walk-in clinic, once the doctor had done to complain to the dean about them being an ass, they smuggled the monitor and brought it back. the good ol' days hm? that day was probably the most ive complained and laughed for a long, long time.

a mass than sat on the bed, the weight shifting slightly on the mattress. i ket out an involuntary groan, my back being slightly unsupported.

"hey, i made some broth for you.. its 1, and i think you should at least try and drink it for me," they murmured.

the bowl, of what i assume was broth, was set down on the small table besides me. soon enough, long, lanky arms were wrapped around my middle, gently pulling me up to sit up. wait.. what time did they say again.. 1 was it? only.. 1?

the sun digs its heels to taunt you.

the rim of the bowl was scarcely pressed to my lips, the bowl being slightly hot. i signal them to tip it a little so i can take a sip. and so i do. and holy shit..

thats fucking amazing.

the warm, soupy liquid runs down my throat, a sort of feeling i dont get that often, especially being warm. the way he flavours mix together is phenomenal, the spices and the subtle beef. its flavourful, but not enough to freak my taste buds out, which happens all too often now.

"is it okay?" they ask, their voice soft and gentle.

i hum with a slight nod.

but after sunlit days, one thing stays the same:

rises the moon.

days fade into a watercolour blur.

its been.. maybe a week? my sense of time is so off, it could be a week for a few days.. lets say its been a few days - to make me feel better. im now slipping in and out of consciousness, which is concerning in itself. i dont know how long im out for at a time. theyve been becoming more and more worried about me. i mean, there was always an elephant in the room, hell even when i was first diagnosed. but, the elephant has been growing larger and larger than before, making it hard to ignore. we have to adress it sometime.

but its hard to breathe.

then im awoken by a coughing fit.

it shakes my whole body, racking everything as i shut my eyes tight, desperately trying not to wake them up behind me. but, of course they woke up, they always do. i tried to savour the two, lanky but muscular arms around my abdomen, as they were warm and comforting, but soon, all i could feel was pain.

"are you okay?" they ask, their voice still a bit groggy from sleep.

i hum, my voice still hoarse even though i barely made a sound.

this just reminds me of them, i swear something to do with an infarction to the leg. but i cant quite remember.. or remember them.. their face is slightly recognisable, but not by a lot at all. my memorys been wracked up.. pisses me off, i wanna know whos caring for me. i wanna thank them, using their name, recogising their face.

memories swim up and haunt me.

"hmm.. mm!" i hum, trying to catch their attention.

they run over, quickly turning me on my side and holding the bucket to my mouth. i start to cry as i retch, vomiting harshly into the bucket, they rub my back gently, mumbling words of encouragement and reassurance softly to me. finally, i stop. glancing down at the small puddle of bile and saliva, i frown slightly.

look into the lake, shimmering like smoke.

i look into their eyes. my, coffee like brown into their, ocean like blue. scared and helpless meet concerned and determined. they run their skinny, pianist fingers through my frail hair. they always wanted to care for me, secretly.

rises the moon.

"close your weary eyes, i promise you that soon the autumn comes to darken faded summer skys." they pause for a moment. "breathe, breathe, breathe."

almost immediately after hearing that, i start to cry, just a full on breakdown. they quickly embrace me, wrapping their arms around my middle. i dig my face into theit shoulder, tears still rolling down my pastey cheeks. its nice.

oh to be hugged like this again.

days pull you down just like a sinking ship.

its been a day? maybe.. i dunno anymore. it might've been 2, 3, 4 a week, who knows - not me thats fot sure. it might be september now, i last remember it was august, that seems like yesterday. them, my carer, whatever, i dont know their name anymore. i dont know who they are, i cant see.. its all blurry and fuzzy, so is my memory. i cant remember the last time i ate..

floating is getting harder.

"im sorry.." they mumble, their voice snapping me out of my thoughts - though it was barely above a whisper.

their thin fingers run through my hair again, gently letting it fall between the gaps and repeating.

oh, i forgot to mention, i also cant speak.. or breathe for that matter. i think the tumor - or tumors more like - have begun to press against my trachea and esophagus, making his hard to both eat and breathe. wheezing has become a normal, daily routine.

considering my condition,

i have tonight,

and thats it.

because of my fate, i keep repeating a phrase i once said to a child as they went through chemo. they had no parents, i was the best thing they had..

but thread the water, child, and know that meanwhile: rises the moon.

days pull you up just like a daffodil.

its the next day, i think. its really hard to just think. the weezings gotten worse, i feel awful, like horrendous. its awful... maybe i am ready to die. i can just subtly feek them holding my fraile hand, stroking their thumb over my knuckles. only barely. im scared, terrified more like. i dont even know who they are, but im scared for them.. they'll miss me definitely. what will they do when im gone? i dont know..

uprooted from its garden.

once again, i feel consciousness slip from underneath me. which is normal, very. but this wasn't normal.. i could still hear.

"they'll tell you what you owe," they mumble. "but know even so, rises the moon."

i try to smile, a small twinge of my lips. but nothing happens. i try to tell them i love them, but again, nothing happens.

"you'll be visited by sleep. i promise that the autumn comes to steal away each dream you keep." they choke back a sob.

"breathe, breathe, breathe." houses voice sobs.

they're house.

but its too late to tell him i love him.

[bonesandthebees]

i have been on a run of your fics, i first started with clinic which i totally fell in love with and most recently just finished the stars which actually had me stressed but also hurting like a mf with the hurt comfort and 17 hours which was a good palate cleanser to all the plot i had been shoving in my brain. right now im reading glass divine which ughh is just so beautiful and good i wanna die reading this shit. you are just so talented!! love love ur fics with my whole heart. im curious tho if you will ever write a plot heavy fic with tntduo being one of the centerpieces?? thank u for giving me the wilbur soot centric fics i didnt even know i needed

aaaa thank you so much I'm so glad you're enjoying all my works!!! man working your way through clinic and stars and now glass that's so many words godspeed to you lol. but thank you so much this is so sweet and means so much to hear <33

before, well, everything in 2024 happened I would've said yes I definitely wanted to do a larger more plot heavy ctntduo centric fic because that's where my interests were drifting around the beginning of this year, but, well, a lot happened. while I still greatly enjoy writing about these characters my drive isn't what it used to be. this is both due to just how long I've been in this fandom, irl stuff thats making me more and more busy, and also largely how the fandom has changed/shrunk. especially for cwilbur enjoyers.

I feel bad saying a part of it is because I'm just not getting as much engagement on my work because I still get a lot of comments and engagement compared to so many insanely talented authors and I'm so incredibly grateful for all of you, but it's a very stark contrast compared to what it used to be and I'd be lying if I said it didn't affect my drive to create. (the downsides of getting popular in such an insanely huge fandom is that when it eventually dies down because it always does, it's really hard to make your brain adjust to the smaller numbers again)

basically, I don't think I'm going to write another big dsmp fic like stars, glass, clinic, etc. after rose is done (this isn't to say I'll stop writing entirely. I'll probably keep writing shorter fics because god knows I can never stop writing completely). even ignoring how much smaller the community is these days, I don't think I'll have time to manage such a long term wip especially once fall 2025 kicks around (presuming things in my irl life go the way I want them to rn). once rose is done if I get a really good ctnt idea that I really want to write, I might write a longer fic more around the length of nocturnal animals or honey and tangerines, but that's only if I get an idea for it and right now I don't have any ideas I'm truly desperate to write that fit that bill.

I really do hope I can find something that holds my interest enough to write something like that, but I'm not going to make any promises

[kunipuppy]

Kuras with any type of NSFW 🥺❤️ pls

KURAS LOVERS I TRIED MY BEST, IDK IF THE NSFW IS NSFWING BUT I HOPE YOU LIKE ITT

warnings: nsfw, injuries, putting pressure on injury

When you said you were a negative attention magnet, you didn’t mean almost getting killed by a soulless, again…

You had your right arm on Mhin’s shoulders, they really are stronger than they look. Even though they are rightfully scolding you over being more careful and to never come out there again unless they are with you. 

You whined,

“I’ve got it Mhin, I’m sorry.”

They sigh and shoot you a glare.

“Shut up. You’re lucky you’re even breathing right now.”

You smile sheepishly which just earns a scoff from them. You can’t pull your hand away from the gush that is on your torso, it hurts like hell.

When you get to Kuras’ clinic, his eyes widen and he takes you in hurriedly.

“They’re gonna be okay, Mhin.”

Mhin scoffed and looked away, they glanced at you one more time before departing. A job, probably. Which is something you should get.

You shoot Kuras a sorry look, but before you can even open your mouth you feel dizzy and then…nothing. 

Ah, blood loss is a bitch.

When you come to, you see Kuras sitting by your side. 

Deja vu. 

It would be funny if the situation wasn’t so grim. He speaks up first,

“Ah, you’re awake. How are you feeling?”

You blink a few times and touch your torso, surprisingly not naked this time but your shirt is ruined with blood… you only feel a scar, which makes you shiver when you run your fingers over it. You notice Kuras raises his eyebrows very slightly. 

“I’m so sorry Kuras, I genuinely just wanted to help but got in Mhin’s way, probably.”

You watch him observe you intently, he gets up and hands you bandages. Ah. Thoughtful as ever, he’s an angel compared to your other… friends.

You thank him with a shaky voice and muscle memory takes over as you bandage your arms diligently. You feel better now. Though you didn’t notice, Kuras was still just… looking at you. When you looked up and your eyes connected, you felt your face getting hot.

“Should… should I go or is there any kind of payment that I need to give?”

Kuras shakes his head. “No, of course not. Though, if you’re comfortable, I would like to look at your wound again.”

You nodded, “yes, of course, I mean you did save my life twice now so of course im comfortable…”

You weren’t uncomfortable; he was just… way too pretty.

He hummed and took the hem of your shirt between his fingers and looked up again, asking if you’re okay with it, basically. You nodded and he slid your shirt up. Your skin felt like you were being roasted like a chicken, your palms cold and your insides felt like a million butterflies were eating at them.

Then you felt it. 

He locked eyes with you and ghosted his fingers over your scar, earning a whimper from you.

“I-”

He didn’t give you time to speak as he pressed his fingers on the scar and you moaned, feeling that familiar heat pool up inside. His touch made you feel like you were seeing heaven. Holy shit, were you about to cum just from that?

“You’re so fascinating. No matter what happens you always cling to life…”

You heard him speak up, not being able to register his words properly from the sheer amount of arousal his touch on your scar was causing. He must have noticed. He came close to your ear, making sure you heard what he had to say.

“Do you enjoy pain?”

You wanted to run, but also stay and let yourself lay bare and just let him have you. Holy shit this man is irresistible .

“M…maybe…?” You cursed at yourself at the shakiness of your voice.

God, you wanna cum.

As if he can hear you, his lips form into a small smile and he slides one of his hands to your abdomen, putting pressure on the area, watching you squirm as he presses his fingers even more on your scar, his fingers pinching your nipple.

“I never imagined you would be so sensitive…”

The way you’re moaning and squirming gives him a feeling he hasn’t felt in a long time.

“W…wait. Stop, I’m about to cum- ughh…”

“Go ahead, no need to be ashamed. Let me see how pretty you look.”

With that, he dove in for a kiss. His hand rubbing and exploring your abdomen while playing with your nipples and now his gentle kiss was more than enough to push you over the edge.

You cried out his name as quietly as you could into his mouth while his golden eyes watched you reach your climax… if you didn’t have an ounce of shame you could cum again just from that.

“I’m sorry for the mess…”

Your breathing was heavy as he placed one more kiss on the corner of your mouth.

“Let’s clean you up, now.”

[screampied]

vegas ur hitting it raw post……… NO OH MY GOD 😭😭😭 i fear im pregnant 😭

i was gonna talk about sukuna’s too, but i fear that we’ll be awhile if i go on abt both so lemme js say that sukuna n sucking on the tongue caught me off GAURDDDDD, thats for sure 😻and when he said scream i giggled like a BITCH (im a scream fan so i thought of that too 😭) BUT TOJI!1!?1?1?1?? NO U ATE IM ACC IN TEARS ARUGH

OH MY FUCKING SAHGSHAYWE THE WAY HE’S IMMEDIATELY BENDING YOU IVER LIKE ARYSGD. “where do you think you going?” DONT. THAT “dont run away” SHIT ACC MAKES ME MELTS AUDGWHGSGZGAS HES SO FINENENENWNE IS HE GRABBING MY HAIR????? LWWD “get the fuck back here, no runnin today” bussaNUTTTTTSTTSTSTS 🤤

the mocking of the moans. “im gonna cum tooo” HES SO MEAN IM LITERALLY GONNA DIE HERE then you pull up with him calling the reader gorgeous as a nickname.. i would say im sick but the NEXT PART??? im bedridden. CLINICALLY TERMINALLY ILL 🤧

“cum with me babygirl, c’mon, cum on this dick” im ILL. this is getting a whole paragraph bc when i read this my stomach genuinely did a flip AND IT DOESNT EVEN KNOW HOW TO DO CARTWHEELS SO IDK WHO TAUGHT IT THAT BUT OMFGS??? THE TALKING THROUGH IT ACC MADE ME DIE. NO NO U DONT GET IT VEGASSSSSS, IM ACTUALLY DYINGGGGGGGGGG THIS IS WHEN THE TEARS CAME IN BC AHHHHHHH THE BABYGIRL THE CUM ON THIS DICK LIKE EVERY MAN SHOULD BE LIKE THIS IM DEAD

“got myself a nasty little bitch” AUGH???? YES THE FUCK YOU DO AND ITS M-E, ME !!! NO THIS ALSO DESERVES A WHOLE PARAGRAPH BC I LIKE BEING CALLED NASTY,,,, BUT A BITCH TOO??? W THE LITTLE????? ALL COMBINED PERFECTLY (i like being called a bitch, to a bad extent…) TO MAKE ME SEE STARS. im not okay. im literally not okay 😭

“where’s my thank you?” youre inching my fingers closer to my holes, im not doing this 😭😭 “thank you sugar” ANDDDDDD IM DONE

“you are on the pill though, right?” “…” LMFOOAOA?? YOU NEVER FAIL TO END IT OFF FUNNY 😭😭😭

i need to acc read the last part of toji dbf im too scared to end it 😞😞💔💔💔 no but frls pookie, this is my fav multi character drabble bc HOT DIGGITY DAWG DID I JS GET FED 😻

— pearl anon <3

HELPPPPPOO i always appreciate ur commentary tysm boo 🙂‍↕️💓

noooo like let’s rly tawk about itttt. running away from toji’s dick he’d rly be like “you ain’t going nowhere, take that shit.” oh i’d pass away tbh reader is stronger than MEEEEE

i need sukuna n toji so bad i’m ill with you 🙆‍♂️

HELPPPDFF ikr the ending, guess we’re baring toji’s child now yolo 🫦

and omg don’t be scaredddddd heh but IKNOWWW i don’t want it to end either sobbing i miss him alr 💔💔💔 hope you enjoy tho pearly tysm :((( n stay safe !!! mwah 💓💓💓

[superm4ks]

F1isms aside how are you doing? sounds like it’s been a rough half year, hope you’re hanging in there

🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀 tysm for asking🩷

I mean our fund raiser nearly hit its goal but tbh like it’s so crazy to me that so many people already wanna help us so like even irl I have family and friends who I thought wud come thru and didn’t. Like my aunt literally just called us this week offering COTA tickets and I was like . Can’t u just help pay a few medical bills. Can’t u send my mom some rent money because yk shes about to lose the house and she can’t get a job and we’re gonna be homeless lmfao. And my aunt was actually super offended that I was offended lmfao and now I feel like I shud have told her yes and then made another giveaway for those fucking tickets because fuck her. but whtvr. I think for some reason I just didn’t expect to feel so alone. Yk other people struggling wid their own shit but like. Me and Mrs kat have my mom, who’s can barely afford to feed us and keep us off the streets. Mrs kat parents came out all the way from Marseille to have Xmas wid us and it was nice ((I thought)) and now they refuse her calls and say they will send HER money but only her, under the condition that she dumps me because I’m holding her back wid all my baggage and my chronic pain and fucked up shoulder and addiction. And I’m black so I’m not right for her anyway 😐 I served these people food in my moms house lmfao.

Mrs kat got dreams of her own here tho she wants to finish her studies and pay off student loans like .. and she wants to be wid me. So her parents like cut her off completely and they stopped sending money a long time ago.

This shit is really fucked up and complex Im just trying to tell u , yeah. It’s been fucking rough. 😣😣😣 I do have a ‘job’ now which is something, I do errands for this like INSANE woman who’s prolly gonna get me arrested but she’s paying me weekly and that’s all that matters. My mom says I need to find something wid a contract immediately and that’s why I need the fundraiser money so we don’t completely become homeless while I search for safer options. I also need to go back to rehab and physio asap because I feel like I’m losing my mind and my benefits only afford medical physio from a shitty fucking clinic like once a month and it’s always full. I’m in pain all the time rn. I got duped into this extremely expensive surgery I’m STILL paying for and now it’s like they don’t care that I still need physio to actually getter better.

My cats are ok 🥹 Chica rejected some medicine for some stomach issues she had and had to back to the vet ((more bills 😭)) and it was scary but she’s back super stable and almost 100%. Calypso is SUPER pregnant, due prolly next month and we want her to have the babes wid us because it’s her first litter and she’s an anxious diva but that’s sm WORK and we’re kinda like NOW??? Ok. But she seems safer wid us, comfortable, and gonna be a real good momma. Chica has been incredible wid her too. They really be taking care of each other.

So yh if u still got some spare change u wanna throw our way my p.aypals is: kt.s.mays@gmail.com . U will also register for my bdays ((august 5th)) first anual ‘supermaks gives back’ where I pick a few of u thru p.aypal to send back my much beloved max merch as a thank u . I know this is dumb but idk what else to do. Idk how that’s gonna work either but I’m excited we’ll figure it out. Y’all been here for me twice now . Makes me wanna cry when I think of it too much.

I appreciate all yalls help wid all my heart. Just knowing there’s strangers out there who still want to c us fight to c another day and do better, bro that’s more meaningful to me than words can say.

I am hanging in there. Thanks to u

God bless u 🤍

[stupidthoughtsinwriting]

Back Home (Adam Lawrence)

Summary: In the middle of everything, after all these years, you come back to your family when they need you the most

Warnings: Angst, Fire, Cursing, look i really have no idea what to put in these eheheh

Note: This was promised when the show came out, nearly 5 months ago so sorry for the long delay eheheh. This was originally gonna be a oneshot but thoughts kept coming and i got stuck at the end of this so im leaving the next part for the next part. this might have two more parts so this is one of three in total.

‘Ella darling, wake up’ you whispered in your daughter’s ear, kissing her temple as you shook her lightly.

‘Hmn?’ she groaned, shaking you off. ‘five more minutes mummy’ she grumbled before turning to hide her face back on her pillow. You chuckled at her reluctance, looking to the door and across the hall to where Adam was carrying Callum, sound asleep in his father hold.

The kids had spent all of the day before playing and running around the park when you and Adam took them to Winter Wonderland, and due to the heavy traffic, you came home late, so it’s come to no surprise that they were still exhausted.

A knowing grin flashed your lips as you made eye contact with your husband before turning back to your daughter.

‘But darling, It’s Christmas’

‘Christmas?’ she asked, a bit more alert but still barely conscious.

‘Yes darling, Christmas’ you smirked

‘Mnn, Christmas’ she murmured as she finally started stir.

‘Come on up love, dad’s making cocoa’ you bargained, rubbing a hand on her arm to help her finally leave the gentle comfort of sleep.

‘Cocoa’ she repeated, rubbing her eyes as you helped her sit up. Another chuckle left your lips as you took a good firm hold of her.

‘Yes Cocoa, dad’s making us some Cocoa. Come on up love’ you instructed, lifting her up from the bed and she instinctively knew to wrap herself around you like a koala. She laid her head on your shoulder and you placed another kiss on her temple as you carried her out her room and to the kitchen where you found Adam making the promised cocoa, Callum sat on the bench, laying his head on the counter. You looked at Adam who just shrugged and continued on with his task.

This was five years ago. The last good memory you had of your family before all went to shit.

You remember that day clear as day. How Adam made the hot chocolate for everybody and the kids were more awake after a cup. How you all stayed cuddled up on the couch for a bit before they all but attacked the presents. The feel of Adam’s hold on you and the soft press of his lips… you missed him, them. You missed your family so much.

Five years it’s been since you’ve seen them, but it was for their safety.

You and Adam both worked as agents in MI6. FIve years ago, you were given a case that eventually involved the Russians but at the time, it seemed so simple. Long story short, the case drove you everywhere until you got a lead about a bombing in a building found in the city.

It was an all-hands-on deck situation, so Adam partnered up with you as you went to the building. The building was evacuated but it was a children’s clinic, you and Adam went back to double check for others and found a pair of siblings hiding in a closet. A fire started out of nowhere and you urged Adam to take the kids out as you looked for more. The siblings needed medical attention and you couldn’t have gotten them out as quickly as he did. You fought him on this but in the end, you won (like always) and he took the children out as you looked for others.

The fire reached a storage room that contained oxygen tanks and as soon as you found how close it was, you rushed to get out. The comm in your ear screamed as a mix of people talked but the one that stood out was Adams, frantic as soon as he heard you swear and mention how close the fire was to the tanks. He said something about going back in the building to get you and you screamed NO before a piece of debris hit your head and everything went black.

Now you were driving down to Surrey after you got a call from Kara that Adam was in trouble. In the five years you’ve been away from your family, you’ve been trying to solve the very same case that took you away from them. It’s taken you all around the continent but here you were driving back to your family, putting everything on hold and risking undoing the work you’ve done the last 4 years because your family was in danger.

The fear and panic that overtook you when you got the call was… Terrifying. The cup of coffee you had just bought, fell and was forgotten as you ran to your car, driving like a maniac to your old home only to find it ransacked. You went through each room, but the house was empty, so you called Kara.

‘WHERE THE HELL ARE THEY’ you demanded.

‘I don’t know’ she responded.

‘What do you mean you don’t know, you promised to keep my family safe! How the hell are you fucking doing that if you don’t know where the bloody hell they are’

‘Look, I know what I promised okay, so don’t take that tone with me. The last I’ve heard is that they were last spotted on the A24 heading south, other than that, I don’t…’

You hung up as you heard where they were headed and now, you’re driving down to your parents’ lodge in Hopewood. You and Adam used it as a getaway during tough days and not many know it so it was the safest place they could be at the moment.

Reality dawned on you that you were finally going to see your family. Your darling girl Ella and sweet little Callum. Your babies. And Adam. Your beloved husband Adam. God how were you going to explain all of this to him. However, your main concern was their safety so however they react, whether they want you back…. or not, you would protect them no matter what.

Pulling up at the familiar driveway of the lodge, you turned the car off and took a deep breath before you stepped out.

‘Dad are we safe?’ Ella asked, coming from the rooms, taking Adam’s attention from the news on the laptop to his daughter. He sighed, taking a deep breath before urging her to sit on the couch beside him.

‘Come here, love’ he asked of her, pulling her closer to his side.

‘I don’t want you to worry, okay. I will always protect you and Callum. Always. Alright?’ he insisted, looking at the eyes that were always the same as yours. She gave a faint nod with a small smile and Adam pulled her in for a hug.

‘I love you’ he said as he placed a kiss on the top of her head and laid his. She hugged him back and her eyes landed on the headline on the screen.

‘What’s a mercy killing?’ she asked, causing Adam to pull away.

‘A what?’ he looked at the new headline on screen before they heard a car drawing up, their attention drawing to the door.

‘Who is it?’ Ella asks as she turned back to look at her father.

‘Don’t know’ Adam replies as he stands up to look. ‘You and your brother stay here’ he instructed just as Callum runs past him. ‘No Callum, wait, wait’ he exclaimed but ever so curious, he ignored his father and ran to the door.

He threw it open only to stay frozen in his spot when he sees the person walking the path. Adam and Ella, who were close behind, caught up with Callum and looked out the door.

Adam stilled when he finally saw the figure approaching. Emotions running wild only to be quickly brought back to reality when Ella sped past him and towards you.

‘Mum!’ she cried, running to you as tears quickly welled up.

‘Ella no!’ he tried reaching for her but missed.

You dropped everything you held when you saw your little girl rushing to you, only managing to open your arms before she crashed on you.

‘Mummy’ she sobbed as arms wrapped one another, hers both tightly around your waist and yours cradling her head as the other wrapped around her back. She had grown so much; your little girl is not so little anymore.

‘Shh, it’s alright darling, it’s me. I’m so sorry’ you managed to say as tears ran your cheeks. The sound of your voice caused her grip to tighten, and you would have reciprocated had you not been interrupted.

‘ELLA COME BACK HERE NOW’ Adam shouted, commanding his daughter back as confusion clouded his mind. He didn’t know what was happening. He thought you dead. For five years you’ve been dead so how were you here?

You looked up to find Adam only a few feet away, his expression a cocktail of so many emotions fighting to understand the situation at hand. Worry was his foremost expression at the moment, so you tugged on Ella who only sobbed harder. It broke your heart, but you had to before something drastic happened, so you pulled her off you.

‘NO mum please’ she begged, her arms tightening like a vice around your waist as she cried harder, fear of losing you again frightening the child to death.

‘Shh, it’s okay, listen to me darling. Listen to me’ you pulled back and tilted her head up a bit, so she looked you in the eyes. Those glistening eyes stared up at you and your heart only chipped away as you saw the distress in your poor child.

‘Listen to me okay’ you looked at her as she hesitantly nodded. ‘Do as your father says. Take Callum and go back inside. I promise I’m not going anywhere’ you explained, hoping the bit of assurance would convince her to follow. Fingers wiped the fallen tears on the girls face and your thumb stayed to caress her flush cheeks.

‘Promise?’ she questioned, feeling like a little girl again. A small smile shaped your lips before they pressed a kiss on her forehead while you untangled her arms around your waist and placed another on her fingers.

‘I promise luv’ you reply, pulling her for another quick hug ‘I love you’ you whispered in her ear before releasing her. She looked at you one last time before she turned back to Adam. Callum who stood behind his father, looked at you before you watch Ella urge him back inside.

A hand quickly wiped your soaked cheeks before moving to cover your mouth, hoping to muffle the sob that escaped you lips without consent after finally seeing you family again.

‘Who are you?!’ Adam yelled after making sure the children were safely inside. It was enough to pull you out of your own thoughts to finally focus on the man in front of you.

‘Adam…’ you sniffed, slowly starting to move closer to him.

‘NO. Stay where you are. WHO ARE YOU?’ he roared out in anger and anguish. The situation at hand was already complicated but “you” adding to the mix is making him completely lose his head. He can’t figure out what is happening. You were dead. Five years ago, that building collapsed in on you. There were no survivors, so how the hell were you there.

The past five years have been painful without you. To raise your children as a single father has been difficult. The explanation he had to give them of your passing was heart breaking, seeing the looks on their faces. The years he’s mourned you. To watch that building collapse after the explosion, knowing you were inside made him go mental. He lost a part of himself that day. All that pain it had cost him, all the pain he felt was returning as he as he stood watching an imposter mimicked you.

It just wouldn’t comprehend to him. He couldn’t believe it. He’s in denial of the concept of you there, living and breathing. He has wished so many times for you to be alive and to come back but never did he ever think it would come true. Now here he was, finally having his wish yet in denial of it.

‘Adam, its me.’ You pleaded, begging him to believe you. You knew of the pains you’ve caused to your family, and you’ve imagined your return so many times during the years, but this was not one of them. Never did you think that your husband would be so deep in denial like this.

‘No’ he hissed ‘No because my wife is dead. She died five years ago when that building collapsed. There were no survivors. I watched that building crumble while knowing she was in there. She is dead.’ He said, his voice wavering as tears welled up in his eyes. His throat was constricting yet he still managed to say furiously, ‘So who the fuck are you?’  

Your presence pained him as memories and everything you came flooding back to him. So many emotions fought to co-exist, all of this was overwhelming.

It pains you to see the man you love, the man you married, the father of your children, deny your existence but what broke your heart was to see him so pained and crumbling slowly. Tears continued to run your cheeks as you took a careful step forward.

‘Adam, darling’ you closed your eyes, taking a deep breath before you opened them again and looked him in those hazel eyes, the very same that you used to love to wake up to in the morning ‘I promise you’ you croaked taking another step forward, ‘It’s me.’ Another step, the distance that separated you drawing smaller with each step you took.

‘No’ he denied again, taking in your form, looking over every new detail he sees before it proves to be too much and he shakes his head and looks down, letting his tears run.

You close the remaining gap quickly, a sob escaping your lips once you finally stood in front of him. You raised your hand and hovered it on his cheek, hesitating making contact after years without it but when you heard the cry that left him, all second thoughts were cast away. You placed your palms on his cheeks and tilted his head up to look at you.

Your heart softened when he leaned in the warmth of your palm. Tears continued to run both your cheeks and you couldn’t bear to see that pained look on his face.

‘Adam’ you let out a whisper, making his eyes open and look you in yours ‘it’s me’ you pleaded him to believe you because you missed your husband so much. ‘I’m so sorry Adam’ you cried, dropping your head, letting your hands fall and covering your mouth with one while the other wrapped around yourself as some sort of last semblance of composure.

You desperately tried to hold back the sob that threatened to leave your lips, but it was helpless to even try, your mouth moving in its own accord.

The feel of you clouded his every senses. The whisper of his name, the scent of you, to the feel of the warmth your soft hands always held, it was slowly -but in also a rapid way- finally coming to him, the belief that you were truly there.

He opened his eyes and nearly all doubt left him when he saw the same identical eyes, he saw every day in Ella. Tear filled eyes stared back at him, tears he vowed to make sure never to glitter your beautiful face. He thought the plead in your voice was what broke him but really it was cry that left your lips and having to feel your hold slip away again. Fear overtook him when any and all rational thought led to loosing you again. It crippled his heart when he saw how you started to crumble and hide yourself, muffling the noises you made and the arm around your waist as you tried to hold yourself together.

Instincts he thought were long gone, kicked back into action as everything in him was against seeing you hurt. His body moved without hesitation, and he wrapped his arms around your crumbling form just in time as your knees were about to buckle.

He pressed your head to his shoulder, your arms folded in the middle as held you comfortingly, memories of the past -similar to this- flashing before his eyes. From when you got too frustrated with a case or the time you lost a pregnancy, he held you each time, just as he promised in his vows.

You started to cry harder when Adam finally pulled you in, the feel of him holding you, bringing you the comfort you have missed the last five years.

You completely enveloped everything around him, it was suffocating. Enough that the last of his doubt started to dissipate but he just needed one more thing to confirm it all.

‘y/n?’ he bleated as tears continued to run his cheeks. All you could do was nod your head against his shoulder, though you started to unfurl your arms and wrap them around his waist as hope begun to bloom inside you.

‘And you know’ he whispered against your ear, like he’s done millions of times before.

‘You know I love you so’ you whispered back unconsciously just as you have done before, and a small smile crept your lips as you realized what you said.

Adam let out a breath before he buried himself in the crook of your neck. Doubts relieved and he finally came to grip the concept of you being there.

Your hands hooked to his shoulders as he was now the one that’s crying in your hold. Your own troubles, forgotten as you finally held your beloved in a moment of complete vulnerability. He believed you. That was all you wanted.

‘Adam I’m so sorry darling, I’m so so sorry’ you cried. He cried. He shook his head in protest but never said a word until either of you calmed down. He pulled away enough to look at you, pushing away the few stray strands of hair that covered and stuck to your face, wiping your damp cheeks and cradled your head in his hands.

It really was you.

‘j-just’ he stuttered, stopping himself for a breath ‘just… why?’ he asked.

‘Adam, I promise you. I will explain everything, now just isn’t the time’ you said, moving your hands to cradle his face. ‘But what the hell is happening?’

[michaelmilkers]

hi feel free to ignore but how do you feel about teens starting hormones? I feel like i see a lot of people (without kids mind you) always bashing on it but like.. i feel like o thought about that shit a lot as a teen and i definitely feel like it would've helped.. not sure what all the hate is about. Not to mention im pretty sure you have to have parents consent anyway if you're under 18, but idk why people think teens are incapable of making these decisions idk maybe this is dumb fjajfkskg

i started hormones at 14 lol

i’d been suicidal, clinically depressed, anxious, and self-harming since the onset of natal puberty. i’d also been in various forms of intensive therapy (including outpatient 3x a week and inpatient for 6 weeks) and on antidepressants and it became clear that it was really only treating my symptoms because the root cause of so much of my psychological anguish was my dysphoria. it had gotten to the point where i was so withdrawn that i was staying home from school and not doing homework and failing classes

and i’m not saying that hormones were a cure-all but within a year of me starting them i was doing sooooo much better holy shit

i generally think that if a kid can wait until they’re a little older (like 16-17) for irreversible medical intervention then they should, but not all kids can. i couldn’t.

and yes you have to have parents permission. you also have to have a shit ton of evaluations and get bloodwork done every 4-6 weeks for the first year you’re on hormones. they’re not handing the shit out like candy

in terms of what all the hate is about, people know that trans kids grow up into trans adults and they are terrified of that fact

[omensgate]

fav campaign and why

<this is YOUR invitation to send me asks about anything>

oh god im no good at having feelings or opinions so ill just go down a list rattling off my experiences with the campaigns

for the record from the start ive been cheating, ive Never played this game blind. id consumed a lot of rain world playthrough medias before playing it (im not good at playing games in the sense that i simply do not experience them- im a speedrunner at heart... or not competitive or intelligent, im just walking fast paced from start to end...) and when i did play i always had a map and the wiki open which i think diminishes some of the feeling. but i still had fun moving from place to place

SURVIVOR: its classic. its sweet. its fun. i played about halfway through myself, but the second half i completed with my "Boyfriend" so i remember it as being very entertaining as we both fumbled around and learned together. it serves its purpose well and i think anything i enjoy about rain world can be seen in the survivor campaign at least to start off with... 10/10 nothing special but no loss by playing it yknow. ive also done an outer expanse + baby run (ftr if you want baby fast before going to outer expanse, live in industrial for a while. cannot compete with that pup spawn rate + you can easily make the rounds to check like 5 shelters a cycle before its anywhere near over) which yes -_- did make me cry.

MONK: i.. dont like playing monk. friendliness from other creatures does not mean much to me when actively hostile creatures are near impossible to kill because my spear can travel one (1) slugcats worth in distance so i would not play this with my fairly aggressive play style... i only played it for the short time itd take to get to outer expanse and. again. yes. i cried -_- i think its very sweet, and i am like. (clinically) psychotically attached to monk where its very important to my heart BUT Its not fun as a game experience to me

HUNTER: i tried to jolly co op cheat and play as arti to finish this as i find arti the easiest to play as but i kept crashing which is. you know. very bad for the single campaign where you want to be losing the least so ive never made much progress with this one and i genuinely dont want to open hunter back up because of the crashing. i THINK This was because i was playing w the sunhat mod because ive never experienced that magnitude of crashing constantly and uninstalled it after and have not experienced that again until... well youll read later

GOURMAND: i played this one from the start with my "Boyfriend" and so again it was fun from that, ESPECIALLY because he played as artificer and so was essentially my chariot throughout the campaign... easy way to beat gourmands exhaustion: make your partner carry you. shrimple. its SO fun to beat the shit out of creatures and i do like being forced to just take a moment and walk around slowly, i havent found his exhaustion toooo terrible if youre just patient except when youre fighting creatures that have health enough that you cant kill them in one hit. but being able to just slam something to death is SO satisfying, i enjoyed it. HOWEVER, ive never actually gotten to the END (Due to "Boyfriend" availability, we've stopped just outside the outer expanse gate). and of course, yes, every single fucking time i watch someone go into outer expanse i CRY LIKE A BABY. the first i think DOZEN times i watched people go through outer expanse, id start WAILING whenever i just saw slugcat npcs, it tugs and tears at my heart strings so badly. youre not alone. youve spent a campaign or two trudging through a wasteland empty of kind relatable figures but youre HOME now, just as you left it, and everyones so happy to see you back. im crying now . (do i just cry a lot? Maybe. im at an emotional point in my life... be nice.) 12/10 above survivor def, and gourmands my most favorite to play as in expedition- cant argue with that combat system + exhaustion isnt too bad for me + i love the variety of the world, its not impossibly difficult while not being easy.

ARTIFICER: ive never finished revenge route, ill be going to a different save file to try and it now, instead ive finished the ascension route. i know arti can be... extremely frustrating to play because its hitting a wall again and again and again but i really didnt have too much trouble approaching it knowing i had to be prepared to die + using my map a lot ("WTF this game is so unfair i cant see enemies about to shoot me!" Use Your Map. use your map and slug senses) + of course... ample map skills so im not ambling and getting like im getting lost and dying for nothing. though i will say, i did nearly give up at exactly the end- i think its the camera scroll mod but subterranean made the game near unplayable. like 0.5 frames per second, computer screaming, crashing i think a half dozen times again in an area where i NEEDED the karma to the point where i had to passage in place so i could ascend, and then crashing i think thrice while i was in the depths, including not allowing me to see the end cutscene... specifically that huge room with the big pit would grind the game to a halt i think because its so large and all the enemy AI, and all the spiders and centipedes are a nightmare and i just... hated it. every other leg of the game was fine, rewarding, heart touching but dear fucking lord, subterranean isnt more difficult or intriguing its just "the games not going to play smoothly at all and heres 5000000 ridiculously enemies". i WANT to love it, you know i love arti, but its just impossible to play if you want to ascend. and of course revenge route is crazy short which feels bad. removed from my experiences though, i think its beautiful with the one caveat that revenge route is TOO short. ive watched way too many people who were interested in the lore never get to even the third dream because theres just not enough shelters if you run straight to metropolis, which makes me sad. but the story generally is beautiful and i love it (and i could talk about it later, some of the things people say about arti makes me.. insane. either that shes totally righteous in her actions, or that her pups deaths are her fault)

SPEARMASTER: playing this one while cheating both using the map to plan exactly the route you need and to go through precipice as arti for the double jump + to swallow the pearl made it an absolute dream. yes the world is very scary but you can avoid a lot of the worst parts by simply not being there <3 one part: i did forget to change back to spearmaster before going to moon and she did crash my game so . remember to do that. very good campaign both for me to have played without doing anything as intended (never touched a broadcast), combat is fun, but also a very good story. i really like five pebbles and... i cannot get into the degree of five pebbles apologist i am i genuinely cant detail this without going off the rails. regardless; much 2 think about.

RIVULET: never played this one + not playing this one very scary looks bad dont want it. no rot no underwater sections no thank you. wont touch it. wont look at it. thank you

SAINT: hesitant to play this one due to the adventure aspect though i already got all echoes with arti so it cant be that bad- of course the story aspect of it all cannot be understated and it fully shattered my world view when i got into it. rain worlds live and die messaging has really helped me through suicidal and delusional periods and im very glad for what can be gleaned from saints story so i do like it a lot. as ive said before its also so amazing how a game with little to no tutorial text or cutscenes can have numerous jaw drop moments (with max karma reveal and descent into rubicon)

SOFANTHIEL: funny haha! (Jumps around

[moodr1ng]

lengthy discussion of ed treatment/management under the cut but nothing triggering or specific

i think its funny that im like.. (i believe) very good at giving advice regarding eating disorders to other people.. like, i will often give detailed, multi-paragraph, nuanced advice and information on dealing with eds and give people lists of ways they can reach for help, advice on managing disordered eating behaviors as best as possible, reassurance that yes, what theyre describing is a real ed, yes they deserve help, no they dont need to get any sicker to get help, ill frequently ask people who are down on themselves or ashamed bc of eating disorders to let me have faith in them on their behalf/let them know that im proud of them even if they arent/reassure them that they are never alone with this even in the worst part of an ed when it feels like youre the only person this fucked up on the planet/celebrate their wins and improvements if they have no one to be proud of them/etc. and none of this im saying to congratulate myself like.. i am somewhat educated on this topic, i like being able to use that to help out people, im not doing anything extraordinary or praiseworthy, i just have a certain level of skill/knowledge in handling eds and so i feel its sort of a responsibility i want to take on to put that to use.

but the point is.. i can do all this for other people but when it comes to myself? i dont follow any of my advice. my relationship to food is terrible and so is that to my body. i know all this stuff, i have all these nice things to say to other people - and i can't apply any of it to myself.

and though i always encourage people to reach out to medical professionals, to nutritionists, to therapists specializing in ed, to hotlines, to ed clinics.. i have been let down by every single one of those. my nutritionist told me my eating problems are a psychiatric issue and therefore she simply couldnt help me in any way. my psychiatrist listened to me describe my ed and had no advice bc he doesnt specialize in this and cant help me. the ed clinic in my city wouldnt offer me treatment bc they only take extremely underweight patients. a nutrition/ed support clinic a friend recommended wont take me either bc im not overweight enough. i contacted an ed hotline, set up a phone appointment with the hotline worker, and got ghosted. every avenue of help i have found has said "i cant help you" or "i wont help you". and yet here i am, still telling people to seek professional support and hoping they have better luck than me..

idk. sometimes i just feel phony, yknow? like, here i am giving people all this reassuring, in-depth, affirming advice that sounds like.. wise or like i know my shit right, and then you go look at my post history on the same account and theres my post about my relapse and how profoundly i hate myself and am disgusted with myself. it makes me feel like.. me still being in the deep of the ed devalues my advice. you peek under the curtain, and the guy who talks like he has it all figured out and can help you is just as lost, scared, ashamed and miserable as you.

not sure what im trying to say. just. think about this regularly ig. i wonder how i wouldve fared in a world where i didnt get rejected from returning to the psychology course, in a world where i become someones therapist - would i have too felt like an absolute phony, a poser, if i had become a therapist while being this mentally unwell? idk. maybe. it doesnt matter now, anyway.

[tmwcs]

i always assumed that heeyn fuck around without condoms right ??so did yn ever had a pregnancy scare? and if so how would both of them react? im curious

this is actually a question i've been waiting to hear back from bc i've wondered if you all had ever thought about that aspect. Which is why i have an upcoming SMAU that is titled "Baby What?" which is a pregnancy scare smau lol. and it's cute and comical as is majority of the smaus that take place in between major events of the chapters.

Yes, heethan and readen have always engaged in unprotected sex (OMG EVERY SINGLE TIME TOO.....heethan has a breeding kink) and you're going to find out in one of the upcoming chapters, that reader is the only one he's ever fucked raw. now as far as preventative measures, i left it unmentioned, i pretty much just imagined that a series of things occur that that outlines the lack of pregnancy scare:

1.) generally, i know some women are more fertile than others, and there are some women that can have unprotected sex for years before getting pregnant. I always imagined reader's body just not ovulating during the time frame or just being one of the types that doesn't get pregnant easily (i guess...i dont have kids i'm only going based off people i know that have them)

2.) the biggest one, is i just feel like she is responsible and after the first night with heethan, she reached out to her mother or went to a local planned parenthood clinic to get some bc. it isnt mentioned but i just imagined you to be the type to be responsible and having your shit together since you just started college (not to mention i have the reader between the age of like...18 or 19. while heethan being in his fourth year is like 22 or 23, about to be 24 bc he started college a year after graduating hs at 18) so reader is quite young and doesnt have any serious aspirations to be a parent right now...although heethan is a different story. man is in love and wants to take you off the market because you're all his. and honestly, he's so in love that i hate to say it bc it might sound cruel...but the man would love his kids, he'd love them to the world and back....but nothing comes above you...not even equal.

[paarksunghoon]

oh shiiii hope 2025 treats you good <333 (me too hopefully lmao) US is just in shambles from what I've been hearing about 😔👎 take care of yourself bestie and ooooh working galllll (we love a woman who's gonna work gonna make that money make purseeee)

btw have u seen the new pcs from enha 😭😭😭😭😭 I'm going so clinically insane rn bro idk if they're new but I just saw em and AHHHHHH I'll prolly send em in when I find it!!!! (im gonna be unholy but I need me a heeseung is my life to do so much shit to me loool)

- 🐸

I hope 2025 is good to both of us as well!! the US is always a mess (no one is surprised) and at this rate it feels like lost hope ahhh. so many people who live here don’t share the values of our politics and it’s hard to even cope with it. but anyway!!!

also yes I’ve seen the pics but also my god. enha in leather outfits. no comment

[fusion-ego]

.

genuinely one of the worst parts about being, like. clinically paranoid (i.e., paranoid is literally part of the fucking name of your mental illness) but also aware of it is that...

reasonably, yes, i can assume im being paranoid when i feel like people are plotting against me, or like im in danger. i can assume i've seen a pattern that doesn't exist and that im fine and going to be fine. but it doesnt fucking help.

actually, to be frank, it just makes me feel like a fucking douchebag.

here i am, safely settled with my parents in az while i hunt for work and housing. i am not doing great considering im separated from my husband by more miles than we've ever been apart, and for longer than we've been apart in our entire relationship, but im safe and my parents are willing to help me get things sorted.

and here i am getting paranoid that they're somehow actively sabotaging me. going behind my back to ensure i dont get a job, dont find housing, and have to slink back to il with my tail tucked between my legs in defeat some weeks down the line.

reasonably, i know that's not whats happening. the logic doesnt line up. they would not have footed the bill to get me out here if they did not want me out here. they would not have offered if they didnt mean it. my parents dont make offers like that if they arent willing to follow through.

but it still fucking feels like thats what's happening and i am fighting tooth and fucking nail with myself not to come unglued on them over shit they arent even fucking doing. im so tired. i feel like an asshole and knowing that i cant help it doesnt make me feel any better because everyone has always conflated my awareness of my symptoms with me being able to control my symptoms.

i know im being paranoid but i cant stop it despite that. cant logic my way out of it. every time i try i just end up with more and more things to question and be concerned about.

im so tired.