#yes ik its already winter fuck off

[prayers0for0rain]

Can't wait to put away my black autumn clothes so I can take out my black winter clothes

can’t wait to put away my black summer clothes so i can take out my black autumn clothes

[slut4sway]

tracksuits and red wine (movies for two)

Dumb conversations We lose track of time Have I told you lately I'm grateful you're mine We'll watch The Notebook For the 17th time I'll say "It's stupid" Then you'll catch me crying

We're not making out On a boat in the rain Or in a house I've painted blue But there's nothing Like doing nothing

With you

💋💌•••••••••••••••❤️‍🩹🍷

tags : suzufield, nick suzuki, cole caufield, hurt/comfort, injured/comfort, hockey rpf, tooth rotting fluff, valentine’s day, love letters, fluff, coles injury, title inspired by bruno major

notes: LOVERRRRRRRR

2/14/23

Nick was living.

Cole wasn't.

The poor boy has been injured, and because of his shoulder he'd been out for the whole rest of the season. He didn't take this news lightly when he received the notice he'd be having surgery; since his whole world seemed to cave in under his feet. Hockey was Cole's life. He lived, breathed, and slept hockey and without it his life would definitely take a turn for the worse.

Nick was there to make it better as always. He'd seen Cole fall apart and he has been right there to pick him right back up again. Even when Cole had anger growing in his bones and just letting it go and taking it out on the world, Nick never left. It was obvious the energetic, goofy kid had turned into a rage-filled maniac. Cole could hardly express his emotions already, and showing it through anger seemed like the easiest alternative because he could have something to be mad at. A reason to be angry. His injury didn't happen for a reason and he knew it. Maybe to slow him down and let him come back and reflect on himself, but ultimately it made things worse. He was on fucking fire and on his way to burning down the league; but now his team is on their way to tank.

Yes. Cole is alive. But he isn't at the same time.

Nick was right there to not let him shatter.

•

The small blonde boy lied on the porch of their lakehouse just outside the city. The home was quiet, devoid of his lover's presence. Canadien's postgame broadcast of course, playing in the background off of Cole's phone falsely filled the emptiness. Small ripples reflected the vague moonlight off of the water, with a few birds chirping and rustling the trees above it.

Birds? Already? For fucks sake, it's the middle of winter in Canada.

Quebec's bipolar weather was in his favor today since he could just sit out on the porch swing and stare off into nothing sipping tea and being alone with his thoughts. Oh, Cole. Oh, baby. Him and his damn overthinking.

What's Nick doing right now?

Is he coming home soon?

Is he still with the guys in the locker room?

How is he?

I wonder if he texted me.

Should I check?

What's the point, I never got a notification sound so...?

Did Nick forget Valentine's day?

He said he would be home by 11pm...

Its 11:06.

Calm down, it's only 6 minutes.

What if he got in a car wreck?

Fuck, fuck, fuck...

He's fine.

No he's not.

I should text him.

Cole picked up his phone and opened it with face id, miraculously since he looked nothing like himself as if he hasn't slept in days. He pulled up Nick's contact and typed. Then deleted his words. Typed again. Backspace again. Finally finding the words, he just let his fingers swipe something onto the keyboard mindlessly. Hitting send, he heard back from Nick in seconds.

c : are you okay?

n : yes ml, almost done. don't worry.

Almost done? Nick was definitely planning something because he would have said almost home. Maybe he wasn't. Probably just Cole overthinking again. He just ignored it and went on.

c : imu

n : ik. almost done.

c : how was the game

n : okay i guess, had fun. wish you would've been playing with me

c : ugh don't remind me

Read 11:10pm

Okay. Just something else on Cole's mind. Great.

Nick never means to add more to his doubt, but he can't help it since Cole can pull almost anything out of his ass and worry about it. It was like a superpower. A really shitty superpower.

•

About 15 minutes had passed, and Cole was struggling to keep his eyes open. Without Nick or something to focus on, staying awake was a challenge. The broadcast had become white noise and eventually faded away. He was wrapped up in a sherpa blanket, and the small eighth of his tea he had left in the mug had gone cold and grew to be the same temperature as outside.

Abruptly, the front door came flying open and Nick busted out of the doorway almost tripping over himself and dropping the wax-sealed letter he held between his fingers.

''Happy Valentine's Day, Colesy!'' He was wearing the biggest smile Cole had ever seen, and he looked no different from a teenager getting a phone call from their crush or some other bullshit. Nick was so big and dumb it made Cole mad. But he loved being mad for Nick.

Madly in love with him, that is.

''Nicholas, fuck- you scared me!'' The blonde boy snapped, even though he could never be angry at Nick. Nick with his perfect hands. Nick with his dark hair. Nick with his deep voice. Nick with his heartwarming laugh. Nick with his pearly white smile. Nick with his swelled muscles. Nick.

''I'm sorry, I'm sorry! It's worth it, I promise'' Nick's smile radiated pure sunshine on dark days and happy energy. It was so genuine and sweet it could have melted Cole right then and there if he was ice cream.

''Hmm.. alright.'' Cole returned an affectionate smirk as he hauled himself from the porch swing and took the envelope from Nick's hands. He took a big step to the side into the doorway, all his joints starting to thaw and become loose again as the heat circulated around them.

Nick brought a hand up to caress his cheek as he followed him inside, toying with his sandy hair between his fingers. He watched as the smaller boy's recovering shoulder lay limp, with his arm lying motionless besides the small jerks because of physics in the sling. Cole kept scratching and scratching at the wax seal, leaving red shavings all under his fingernails.

''Here. Let me.'' The older boy gently took the envelope from his hands and peeled away the wax seal. Cole then snatched it from his hands, eager to read as he pulled it from the white envelope.

The note was folded up and quite thick, and when Cole had pulled it out it unraveled like a ball of yarn and folded-up sheets of paper fell to the floor; almost looking like an accordion.

''Nicky..'' Cole was both in shock and completely enamored, as some color ran to his cheeks watching it fall to the floor, some words written in Nick's messy handwriting scribbled onto the page stood out, with little red hearts whenever Nick mentioned his name.

Dear Colesy, You're mine. You're my world. My everything. My boy. I'll scream it from the fucking rafters, Cole. I have not come across love as deep as this. You have redefined the meaning of love to me and showed me that I deserve it in every possible way. Its in the way you call my name, the way you hold my hand, the many jokes you crack, the many tears you wipe off my face, and the words of encouragement you give me every day. I go to bed knowing that I have genuine love from you, and for once, all the love I give is returned to me in these beautiful ways. I love you, Cole. I adore you and would not trade our love for each other with anything in this world. It is as simple as it comes but one of the most beautiful things I have had in my life. You have made it safe for us to be ourselves without fear of judgment. You have pushed us far to grow and improve as individuals and lovers. I can confidently say that I have experienced true love with you, and this is always what I wanted. When I think about you, I feel blessed and loved. You are like home to me, and the calmness and peace that comes with knowing someone loves you genuinely. I feel the love in how you treat me and push me to become a better person. I have broken barriers and beliefs that stopped me from realizing my best self with you in my life. Thank you for being such an integral part of my growth. One thing I know for sure is that this relationship has taught me things I would never have learned if I didn’t meet you. You have helped me redefine myself and the things I want for myself. I have dug deep into myself and discovered my potential to make it in life. Thank you for loving me and impacting my life so positively. No one can change my belief that you are a fantastic person to your loved ones and me. You have so much love to give; I get inspired to do the same for the people around me. Your impact on my life is far beyond the love notes, the kisses, and the dates; it is how I seek inspiration from you to become better for me, you, and everyone else. Your love never fails, and ours has proven that over and over again. I am confident in what we have built together and where we are heading. This is just the beginning of a beautiful, fulfilling future together. Cheers to many bright days and happy moments together; I love you. I never lose the spark I get from our relationship. Every time I see you, I feel like the first time I lay my eyes on you. You remain my crush, and the feeling remains so fresh and alive. The love we are creating for ourselves will be magical, and we will be glad we stuck together. My life is as peaceful as it can get with you by my side. You have shown me what love feels like and why it is important to everyone. Knowing that you wake up every day and choose to love me gives me more confidence to work on me and us. I love you more now than ever. Knowing I have this precious gift in my life makes me want to see another day. You are worth treasuring, and with every passing day, I will show my appreciation for being in my life. You are more than I imagined, more than I prayed for, and more than I ever wanted. No joy goes beyond the feeling I get when I am with you. You spark a lot of appreciation for life because you are in mine. And, knowing that you will always be here for us gives me hope for a happy future together. I love you for everything that you are and will be. Life has not been the same since I decided to bring you into my life bubble. You have been with me during the dark days and the happy days, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I get to do life with you as we figure out our dreams and aspirations. I am happy I have you here with me. I know I say this a lot, but I didn’t think I’d find love as deep as this one. You have made me believe in the power of letting love lead the way for us, and this has revealed to us the most beautiful thing ever; our love. I can't wait to see what the future holds, but I know it will be beautiful and worth the journey. Love, Nicky <3

Cole's eyes darted across the page, pulling it up from the floor every now and then to continue reading until he got to the bottom of the page. Some tears pooled in his tired eyes, as he looked back at Nick who was just standing there still beaming at him.

''Nicholas..!'' Cole let the tears fall from his eyes, as his voice shook from the emotional words that Nick had poured his heart out through.

''I love you so much, more than words could ever explain'' The taller boy traced gentle circles into Cole's bad shoulder, massaging his scalp as Cole cried into his chest and left small wet spots on his shirt.

Cole could smell the teakwood body wash on Nick's skin even through his shirt, just another aspect that made him Nick. He felt the larger body gently lift him from the ground, being gentle with his shoulder as Nick steadied him and carried him to their bedroom.

''All mine, baby.''

The blonde boy lifted his head away from Nick, glancing around at the room until the bay window caught his eye. It was adorned with rose petals, pink and red pillows, blankets, a shit ton of candy, and two wine glasses on the nightstand dragged next to their new cozy spot.

''Y-you did all this? For me? Seriously, Nick?'' Now Cole was beaming just as bright and happy as Nick was; still admiring what Nick had set up.

''When did you even get the time?''

''Is that why you came from the front door?''

''I mean I wonder why I heard your car parking out back and-''

Words flew out of Cole's mouth like the spitfire boy he was, so many thoughts circulating his head and coming straight out.

''Shhh.. Settle.'' He cooed, interrupting his constant flow of consciousness. Nick carried him to the window, setting him down softly while still being careful with his shoulder. Nick made himself comfortable, holding the blanket to the side as he motioned for him to lie in his lap.

Cole likes Nick's thighs. Like a lot. Maybe more than a lot. Cole really likes Nick's thighs. If Cole had the energy, he'd be leaving marks and bites all over him. Maybe another time when his shoulder is not fucked up. But for now, all he wants is to lay his head on Nick's thighs and let the rest of the night waste away with him.

Cole propped his shoulder up on a pillow, while Nick grabbed a glass and gently held Cole's chin up to make it easier to drink. The younger boy let his jaw slack, as his lover gently tipped the glass further so the French wine could pour out into his mouth. The flavors of bittersweet alcohol danced on his tongue. Nick twirled Cole's silky hair around his fingers, placing the wine glass back then taking a sip of his own.

Both boys continued this for a while, not needing to say anything. Being in each other's presence was enough.

The moonlight flooded in through the window, as they continued to let the time tick away and the ripples on the lake roll. Nick definitely didn't forget Valentine's Day.

[b0mblover]

Snowflakes and drugs dont mix (that) well

By: J

(im not even kidding while writing this i got such bad eye pain, i stg lopt is just tormenting me anytime i do anything related to jirou without him in it)

(also this is prob extremely ooc bc im basically describing/romantasiing my own life :,) yes my life sucks dont remind me)

(again, im very muchly not a writer, i was bored and decied to make the probably first jirocrown fic of life 🙂 im genuinely sorry to anyone who reads this shit)

(anon on twt, gfys, and no this isnt supposed to be taken that damn seriously, ik theres an asston of mistakes, but its almost 3 am and i need to sleep!! alr alr u can read it now chill)

-5° (c 23°f) -5° it was cold out, extremely cold. Jirou was walking on a backroad, he didnt know what it was called, even though he had been down it hundreds of times. Around 1 (am) Crown said hed pay him for a drug run, which was rather normal, go on a drug run, hang out with crown, sleep, go home. The only issue was that it took around 30 minutes or so to get there, also normally okay, in the summer. Where he lived, got extremely cold in the winter months, in a “im going to call off of work today because ill get frostbite if i try to go outside” way. This wouldnt be an issue if there was public transport, but of course, the world apparently hated jirou. Jirou was half way there, hands almost shaking because of the temperature, he dealt with the cold ironically well, the reason it didnt bother him as much as normal people was unimportant to him. (reason is because he used to sit on the porch to not hear his parents fight, though it never really worked that well) Maybe it was a fragile ego, maybe he was just broke, but hed never wear gloves, even with the possibility of frostbite taking his hands. He knocked on Crowns door, though he had a key, he felt like he could barely move any joints in his hand to grab them. After a 3 rough minutes, Crown answered the door letting him in. “Ah th thanks, ‘preciate ya getting the shit” Crown handed him  about ¥14000 “This is too much crown” “nah its freezing out plus ive been meaning to pay ya back anyways” “I, if you say so” he was hesitant to take it, but ultimately decided that, crown, a literal serial killer, wouldnt decide to screw him over, at least not like that. 

As normal, they both walked over to the (admittedly dirty) couch, crown, in a pose that was slightly… provocative, jirou sitting normally (as normal as a gay man can). Crown sat a powder on to the table, “uh you gotta card or somethin dude?” jirou handed him a razor blade, “uh vaguely concerned as to why you carry that but thanks either way, uh youre not gonna like use that now though right?” “nnah, dumbass i know what youre doing im staring right at you, why would i hand you something that i was gonna use” “i mean look, you made paintings out of your own blood, for no real reason either! youre not as predictable as you think” “whatever ya say just hurry up” “damn why you say impatient huh?” crown brought his face down to the table after making the powder into a mostly straight line. “Cause i want my share already and you take too long” Crown tossed him the razor blade, jirou aligned the powder into a straighter line than crowns, and snorted it as well. “Yeayea whatever man, the hell should we do any ways, too cold to go out, any ideas?” “sure i have several but the last time we did any of my ideas someone had to be killed cause they were a witness” “ah right, well uh, wanna play uno?” “gonna be real with ya c, the joints in my fingers feel like the are fucking screwed shut at the moment so I’m gonna have to pass” “your joints where what” “*sighs* (bc how do u write a sigh phonetically) fingers too cold, fingers barely move because cold” “oh, what nah lemme feel bro” “fine fine whatever” crown moved his hands onto Jirous, and, of course, they were extremely cold. “Damn dude what the hell, how long where you outside for?” “uh i mean i was smoking when you texted so at least like i dunno 15 minutes more than normal?” “man the hell, cmere” crown had gotten closer and brought Jirou into a hug, granted it didn’t do much, the heating and cooling had been busted for months, crown was surviving on 15 blankets, but it felt nice. Jirou was aware that hugging someone, at least in the position they were in, wouldn’t do much, but he let crown anyways, for a drug addicted serial killer, he always felt at home with Crown, wanted. “Ugh alright alright c i get it okay? i love you too chill” “if i were to chill at the moment id freeze to death jirou” “yea yea i get it kay? I’m gonna go lay down” “right behind ya” Crown followed Jirou into the one bedroom that was there, it was noticeably colder than other rooms such as the living room, but it was much more “lively” or “lived in” plus the mattress on the ground that they insisted on calling a bed with 15 blankets kinda made up for it too. Jirou fell onto the mattress, groaning out a tiny bit before going quite again. Crown sat himself down on the opposite side, pulling two of the blankets off where they were stacked before getting under the one that was already on the bed. Jirou did the same after taking his socks off, he recalled how when this first started, how crown and him would fight about if he should take his jacket off before laying down. back then he’d say it was because he was cold, maybe it was slightly true, or the fact he didn’t want him to see his cuts and scars. After a particularly awful trip Jirou experienced after taking way too much of god knows what and almost having to go to the er, crown was, for lack of a better term in his eyes, well aware, of Jirous life, he broke down to him. After that he was careful with what he said before Jirou called him out for walking on eggshells around him, annoyed that crown was essentially “babying him”, granted unknown if it was on purpose or not. Jirou after laying down, staring at the ceiling, got closer to crown, almost suffocating him with his (fucking gigantic) oversized jacket. Crown moved what he assumed was the hood of the jacket so he could breath and brought Jirou into a tight hug. Jirou accepted, pushing into it instead of pulling away like usual. Crown could feel how cold his skin was, and how warm he felt inwardly.

[waveswept]

noah fence but once i get the opportunity to go to a hippo campus concert and hear them play buttercup live its all over for hoes

[written-beyond-the-grave]

Elija Mikaelsaon Dating a Black S/O Headcanons

Did anyone ask? No, did I deliver? Yes.

- Alright, so Elijah and the Mikaelson’s have been alive for a while. Never got a specific date, but we have vikings. And as Elijah has been alive for a minute, he’s had flings, situationships, lovers, and at some point out knight in shinning armor was probably a fuck boy… don’t @ me.

- What I’m trying to say is man probably did it all, Asian, Latinx, Caucasian and African American and maybe even African and Caribbean… Maybe even fucked around with his sexuality for a second because he got it like that and the writers were too pussy to put this shit on

- Tbh probably the originals tried all the genders and non-genders, change my mind. But elijah strikes me as a free for all who loves something refreshing that’ll take him out of Klaus’s bullshit for a minute

- But here’s were this shit gets spicey… Elijah… with a black s/o….. Just hear me out poc who been waiting for someone to give them good fucking food on poc x tvd/ the originals, I got y’all… unless college comes back.

- OK so, I feel like if you’re rocking with Elijah he’d dress you up and ice you out because he can. Nothing under $5,000 for his s/o… We talking furs, diamond, real leather, snake skin, hell even a whole ass snake if you wanna be on your Bruce Wayne shit一 better yet, your T’challa shit with a whole ass panther (black panther ain’t real soooo y’all can get a black puma and call that bitch a panther lmfaoooooo)

- He’s asking you to a dinner date and then you say you’re ready…. Wearing pretty little things…. Missguided… honey. (Nah ain’t shit wrong wit those brands, they be having bangers tbh and sales like a bitch) Let him upgrade youuuuuuu. You only wear Givenchy, Yves Saint Laurent, Burberry, Balmain, etc. Try walking out there looking a damn mess and distasteful… just try it sis 

- Speaking of which… my mans got you with hair too! Fuck you mean ?1?! 

- He had a black s/o in the past, even though her hair had loose curls… we won’t discredit her. He has some knowledge on how curl hair works, and if he’s lacking, he as a whole library and might fuck around and ask Bonnie in exchange for some witchy ingrdients (im cdfuuuuuu)

- Name, braids, twists, locs, finger waves. Wanna shave bald??? He’s for it, let him get you his barber. Fuck it, he’ll get you Marcel’s barber. Lined up and all that shit, throw in a fade too

- And coming in for wash day, he’s sitting behind you days in advance helping you take down your hair after a month or two. Grey sweatpants, scissors in hand, spray bottle to the side with Netflix as background music…. Fuck with it. You’re all tired after doing like 8 and he tells you to take it easy, with vamp speed and the deterixty of those fingers…. *chefs kiss*

- He sets up a lil wash day station for you, or if he’s on the clock just books a whole salon for you alone already paid for. But if he’s doing the work, best believe he spent the coinssss COINS for the organic shampoo shit you have the refrigerator and the deep conditioner, AND THE FUCKING LEAVE IN. He’s keeping your shit moisturized in the winter. His big hands and gentle fingers helping detangle your hair, you in a fluffy robe, enjoying being loved on….

- Y’all didn't even get me started on him doing twists… or plaits, or the bantu knots, the concentration on his face

- IDK why I gotta say this… nails done too, he loves the feel of your nails gliding on his scalp and down on his back when he’s giving you those slow strokes. 

- This doesn’t have to do with anything, but the fact that the originals were set in New Orleans which is mostly BLACK BLACK BLACK BLAAACCCKKKKK and I saw like 3 black people in that bitch, ong….. Julie Pleck, you basic bitch

- Anyways, I feel like Elijah in a trench coat coming to pick you up from work would be such a vibe and a mood. Like, he knows when you get off and you might just take public transportation or something to have some sort of independence. But he shows up after work when you’re leaving with some friends from work…. Nigga shows up in a dark blue cadillac, trenchcoat with the collar up, leather gloves… and a fresh cut

- Who tf let him out the house??

- And ik you’re friends trifling too asking who is he, a damn fine tall glass of milké

- And he’s just leaning against the door waiting for you and once he sees you, he waits for you expectedly and kisses your forehead in greeting and gets the door for you

- Speaking of driving, Elijah be too damn serious, and that’s were you come in. 

- I need him and the Miakelson’s at a cookout doing line dancing, the electric slide, cupid shuffle (and give Rebekak some goddamn friends shit, she everyone stay chasing love and shit but have 0 friends and boundaries, they drag family though the mud) 

- Like I need him out his suit and in some dark jeans, a solid white v-neck, rolex on his wrist, and white air forces

- Sitting there, kinda out of place until he settles in. Like I deadass see him asking where the tables are at the cookout and like… you break it to him he’s gonna have to do the table legs for that shit

- And the plastic cutlery! LMFAOOOOO his soul is slightly quaking

- And its finna be a whole ass test when an uncle comes up and grabs him by the shoulder in a greeting and tries to fill in the seat for spades or even worse…. Dominoes…. That’s it. It’s over. Elijah been alive for too long and knows every play in the book and can bluff his ass off

- But if we talking dominoes… we gon have the boondocks animation version of a nigga moments cuz y’all fights will be started, money will be lost…. To Elijah. In the end he gives it back bc he’s a good sport and bc humiliation is a greater victory 

- Lmfaoooo and the quiet drive back, you’re exhausted but the music station is playing throwbacks and Usher’s climax comes on and bitch… the high notes, the lamp posts that give you both a glimpse of each other’s side profiles. And for once Elijah is relaxed and coming down from his amusement. No one is trying to kill him or his siblings, and good food albeit greasy in his stomach.

- Dare he say he felt human for a moment

- You staring out the window and softly singing along enjoying what the day was, Elijah loving the ambiance created. Mmmmmm such a mood

- THAT BEING SAID imagine you and Elijah on a long drive and “I Mean It” by G- Eazy comes on and you start singing along bc data is expensive over long ass drives and being stuck in traffic. And Elijah is giving you a bemused look, you in all your glorious wonder and you just make the lyrics more dramatic ashit trying to be a heartbreaker and all that. But, the true heart breaker is Elijah

- He comes in on the verse and gives you all eye contact, lips completely sync but your can kinda hear his voice keep the tempo…. Bitch this makes me feel some type of way… and as he’s going on he grabs your face and tilts your chin up OOOOUUUU gets up all close and personal and finishes the lyrics which is perfectly timed with when the light turns green and turns back like nothing just happened. There yo are aping like a fish bc tbh if anyone could rap it’d probably be Kol, he’s like the emnemin mixed with busta rhymes type, but tone it down….

- Bitch imma go fantasize rapping Elijah, y’all been slept

- And for those asking yes, I do write for black readers, mor specifically female but I can try male

[incorrectchoniberonicaswangs]

hey baby won't you look my way (i can be your new addiction)

Chapter 7: gays you ever just ahsnfdjsl?? part 1

Chapter Summary: Holiday parties are planned, Cheryl and Toni are Kevin's sapphic moms, an intervention is held, Alice and Hermione are adorable and everyone loves them, Kangs has some news, and Sweet Pea runs away from his problems.

Notes: theMANtle: reggie

ao3

Friday, 3:17 PM

gays united

hbicheryl: its winter break!! finally a respite from the chaos!!

jugheadalones: im so excited!

hbicheryl: hold up, hobo is excited about something??

hisshissmotherfucker: ^^ jones are you sick

jugheadalones: okay, first of all fuck you

jugheadalones: second of all im excited to return to the near-comatose state i maintain every time we have a long period of time off from school

nopeaz: that makes more sense

veroffica: as enjoyable as that likely is to you, holden caulfield, it won't be happening this break. i'm hosting a christmas eve party at the pembrooke starting at 8:00 pm and you are all invited.

veroffica: and you'd better all show up, or else i'll sic my new bodyguard on you.

goingtoheller: i assume you mean betty.

wannabett: guilty :/

spillthefogarTEA: ill be there. and NOT because of your threats

spillthefogarTEA: even though betty is kind of intimidating

goingtoheller: i'll come as well.

nopeaz: cher and ill come too

hisshissmotherfucker: i love parties im there

jugheadalones: i dont suppose i really have a choice do i?

wannabett: not really. sorry jug

jugheadalones: fine.

hbicheryl: speaking of holiday parties

hbicheryl: new years eve party, thistlehouse, time tbd, if you arent there youre dead to me

veroffica: b and i will be there.

spillthefogarTEA: me too

goingtoheller: i'll be there.

hisshissmotherfucker: i hear cheryls parties are infamously dramatic

hisshissmotherfucker: so im definitely coming

hisshissmotherfucker: as long as i dont end up doing seven minutes in heaven with archie like veronica

veroffica: will nobody ever let me forget that??

hisshissmotherfucker: nope

jugheadalones: why do all these party invites come with threats of retribution if you dont attend?

hbicheryl: bc if there wasnt then youd never come

jugheadalones: ill come. begrudgingly.

nopeaz: and ofc ill be there obviously

jugheadalones: wait am i missing something? why is that obvious?

hbicheryl: oh right we didnt tell you lol

hbicheryl: tt moved in with me

goingtoheller: WHAT??

goingtoheller: my sapphic moms moved in together aND I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA??

hisshissmotherfucker: why is keller suddenly chonis kid when did this happen??

hbicheryl: please kevin is basically toni and i's love child

hbicheryl: he has my sass (well not as good as mine but hes trying), my gayness, and my strange desire for dumbass serpents

nopeaz: and my propensity for saying 'this is riveting i cant breathe'

goingtoheller: aw, thanks, moms! mostly! :)

nopeaz: no problem son

hbicheryl: yes we are very proud of you kev (mostly)

jugheadalones: huh i never actually thought about it but that... works?

wannabett: okay cheryl and toni are like the least qualified people here to be anyones lesbian moms?? theyre literally gang members??

hbicheryl: stfu nightmare smurfette do not EVER criticize my parenting skills

hbicheryl: toni and i have slaved for weeks, even MONTHS to make sure that kevin turns into a proper young gay man

hbicheryl: and you have the AUDACITY to suggest that just because my gf and i are deeply flawed people we would corrupt poor kevin??

wannabett: uh... no?

hbicheryl: thats what i thought

nopeaz: wow angry cheryl is scary but hot

spillthefogarTEA: topaz, you are so whipped

spillthefogarTEA: and REALLY fucking gay

nopeaz: yeah ik

jugheadalones: moving on

jugheadalones: speaking of people taking a big step and deciding to live with each other... betty and veronica, we need to talk.

veroffica: um... what?

veroffica: is this some sort of intervention?

hisshissmotherfucker: yes

spillthefogarTEA: moving in together might be considered friendly if, say, betty didnt already have a house that she lives in

nopeaz: but this decision is beyond simple friendship

hbicheryl: and its certainly anything but heterosexual

wannabett: why are you guys finishing each others sentences?? did you plan this??

hisshissmotherfucker: no shit sherlock

veroffica: how do you guys even have this information??

goingtoheller: we have our ways.

wannabett: archie somehow saw our texts through my window

wannabett: jughead told me last night, sorry i didnt tell you v, i didnt know that this was going to happen

nopeaz: dammit jones why do you have to ruin all our fun!!

jugheadalones: i didnt realize that this was a rule?

jugheadalones: so anyway

jugheadalones: b&v, now that you have been confronted with cold hard proof of your undying love for each other, what do you have to say for yourselves?

wannabett: guys im straight!!

goingtoheller: ooh, betty's pulling the straight card.

hbicheryl: i called it! tt, sp, fangs, and jughead, you all owe me $10

hbicheryl: cousin betty is nothing if not predictable in the face of her sexuality being questioned

veroffica: hey, you made bets on this?? not cool!

wannabett: ^^^^

wannabett: and i am NOT predictable!!

hbicheryl: i predicted she was going to say that

hbicheryl: thats another $10 guys

hisshissmotherfucker: for once i trusted in someones willingness to admit when they were wrong and now because of that cheryl is robbing us blind! smh never again

spillthefogarTEA: veronica? you never answered the question

veroffica: uh...

veroffica: i mean, um...

veroffica: we've never even kissed! i'm pretty sure we aren't dating!

nopeaz: to be fair though i wouldnt be surprised if you two were dating without knowing it

veroffica: guys, now really isn't a good time.

jugheadalones: mmmhmm

wannabett: no seriously v and i are getting ready for the christmas eve party

wannabett: its in three days remember

hbicheryl: ugh fine i suppose thats a reasonable explanation

veroffica: and since i know that you won't let this go, at the party you can ask us whatever you want about this.

goingtoheller: wait... for real?

wannabett: uh yeah really v??

veroffica: within reason, of course.

spillthefogarTEA: wow this is more than i expected to come from this

veroffica: one condition, though. you can't pester b and i about it before the party.

veroffica: deal?

hisshissmotherfucker: deal

wannabett: now that thats settled v and i are going to get to work

veroffica: we'll probably be off the grid until maybe a few hours before the party.

[wannabett is offline]

[veroffica is offline]

hbicheryl: toni and i are already headed over to pops, anyone want to join us?

jugheadalones: wont we just be three-wheeling?

hbicheryl: not if we are in a large group

hisshissmotherfucker: ill come if you come jones

jugheadalones: sure.

hisshissmotherfucker: ill be there in five

[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]

jugheadalones: kevin, fangs?

spillthefogarTEA: im good

goingtoheller: ^^

nopeaz: okay otw

[nopeaz is offline]

[hbicheryl is offline]

jugheadalones: leaving now

[jugheadalones is offline]

6:35 PM

nopeaz: GUYS YOULL NEVER BELIEVE WHO JUST WALKED IN

spillthefogarTEA: who is it??

spillthefogarTEA: tell me you know im not good with suspense!!

jugheadalones: its alice cooper and hermione lodge!

hisshissmotherfucker: it seems as though archies intel was correct again

hisshissmotherfucker: damn that omniscient fucking northsider

hbicheryl: now i really wish that betty and veronica werent offline so they could hear about this

goingtoheller: why? do you hate them?

hbicheryl: hate is a strong word

hbicheryl: id say that i just occasionally want them to suffer

goingtoheller: that isn't much better...

hbicheryl: i guess ill just have to wait until the party to tell them

nopeaz: okay so they just got a booth and its basically diagonal from ours

jugheadalones: but theyre so enamoured with each other i dont think they even noticed that were here

hbicheryl: wow i dont think ive ever seen aunt alice this happy before

spillthefogarTEA: ugh this sounds so adorable i wish i was there

hisshissmotherfucker: dont worry well narrate their every movement so well itll be like you are

nopeaz: oh shit they keep reaching for each other like every five seconds

spillthefogarTEA: im WEAK

jugheadalones: its so hard to believe that they ever hated each other with the way theyre acting now

jugheadalones: homophobia can really fuck shit up huh

goingtoheller: this is the couple i never knew i needed, but now that i have seen that it's possible, i'm in love.

hisshissmotherfucker: im in shock i cant believe that the same alice cooper that grounded her daughter from any and all contact with the outside world is now just essentially the personification of heart eyes

hbicheryl: this town is so small were all basically inbred

hbicheryl: next thing you know fp and fred are going to be fucking too

jugheadalones: okay i did NOT need that image

nopeaz: AHHHH THEY WENT IN FOR A KISS MAYDAY MAYDAY THIS IS NOT A DRILL

spillthefogarTEA: AHHHHH

goingtoheller: AHHHHHHH

nopeaz: AHHHHHHH

jugheadalones: even i, being asexual and aromantic, have to admit that im loving living vicariously through these two

hisshissmotherfucker: k so they stopped

hisshissmotherfucker: wait no theyre kissing again!

hisshissmotherfucker: and again!

hisshissmotherfucker: and again!

hisshissmotherfucker: okay now theyre just making out

nopeaz: get it girl(s)

hbicheryl: its getting pretty heated

hbicheryl: it feels like the windows are going to start fogging up

jugheadalones: oh damn they stopped

jugheadalones: ms cooper is waving pop over now

goingtoheller: is it creepy that we're so invested in their date?

spillthefogarTEA: probably not

hisshissmotherfucker: nah

jugheadalones: lets go with no

nopeaz: nope

hbicheryl: its only creepy if we get turned on

goingtoheller: moving on... what's happening now??

nopeaz: they got the check and now theyre paying

nopeaz: they can barely keep their hands off of each other

nopeaz: now theyre leaving

nopeaz: should i follow them to keep narrating?

goingtoheller: won't they notice??

jugheadalones: no theyve only got eyes for each other

jugheadalones: follow them SUBTLY while we hold down the table

nopeaz: roger that

hbicheryl: youre such a nerd

nopeaz: you love it

hbicheryl: duh

hbicheryl: now follow them!!

nopeaz: already doing it

nopeaz: so they made it to their car

nopeaz: okay wow wasnt expecting that but im not complaining

spillthefogarTEA: whats happening???

nopeaz: alice just shoved hermione up against the car door and now theyre hardcore making out

nopeaz: damn i wonder if theyre even going to get home or if theyre just going to do it in the parking lot

hisshissmotherfucker: i cant believe alice cooper and mayor lodge BOTH have better sex lives than i do wtf

goingtoheller: who knew that hermione lodge was such a bottom??

hbicheryl: well you know what they say about people in positions of power

hbicheryl: top in the streets bottom in the sheets

jugheadalones: wait cheryl that could apply to you as well

spillthefogarTEA: ooh is the class president getting the strap from the vice president

nopeaz: fuck off fangs

nopeaz: okay so they finally managed to regain some semblance of control

nopeaz: aaaaand theyre driving away

nopeaz: shows over folks

hbicheryl: lets clear out men

nopeaz: meet me by the bike cher

hbicheryl: be there in a sec babe xx

jugheadalones: wait are you telling me that cheryl blossom rode a motorcycle??

hisshissmotherfucker: yeah red i thought you said they were death traps

hbicheryl: well yeah but that was before i got on it

hbicheryl: its like a giant vibrator

hbicheryl: and riding it with toni is basically just the most acceptable type of public sex

goingtoheller: gross.

hisshissmotherfucker: never thought id agree with keller but yeah tmi

nopeaz: whatever

nopeaz: bye fuckers see you all at veronicas party

[nopeaz is offline]

[hbicheryl is offline]

jugheadalones: im headed out too

[jugheadalones is offline]

hisshissmotherfucker: me too

[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]

Monday, 6:43 PM

wannabett: b&v are back bitches!!

veroffica: and, looking through the chat from the past few days... i'm glad i was gone.

wannabett: although now i know what 'hot date' my mom was talking about :/

wannabett: even though i never wanted to know

wannabett: some things are best kept secret especially when your mom goes out on a date with your best friends mom!!

hbicheryl: youre welcome :)

veroffica: cheryl, at this very moment, i simultaneously respect, despise, and fear you.

hbicheryl: aw thanks thats what im always going for!

veroffica: anyway, the party will be starting in an hour or so, but some of my relatives will be over in the meantime. if you've got anything to say that doesn't involve the date my mom and betty's mom have, feel free. if you don't, go to hell.

hisshissmotherfucker: hey im in the neighborhood and i dont have anything else to do would you mind if i came over now

veroffica: sure thing!

hisshissmotherfucker: are you sure your relatives will be fine with me being there?

veroffica: yeah. i mean, betty's here too anyway!

hisshissmotherfucker: k

6:48 PM

goingtoheller + veroffica

goingtoheller: hey, would you happen to have some time you could set away during the party? fangs and i have an announcement we'd like to make.

veroffica: sure thing, kev. how does around 10 sound?

goingtoheller: perfect. thanks, v!

veroffica: no problem.

7:22 PM

gays united

hisshissmotherfucker: rn betty looks like she cant decide whether to be a guard dog or an excited puppy lmao

jugheadalones: context?

hisshissmotherfucker: veronicas greeting her relatives and bettys following her so closely shes practically stepping on her heels

goingtoheller: well, v is definitely holding betty's leash.

nopeaz: yeah veronicas got her by the collar

spillthefogarTEA: if betty doesnt watch her step then shes really going to be in the doghouse

wannabett: stop with the dog puns!! i am not a dog!!

hbicheryl: okay but you have to admit those were pretty good

wannabett: i will admit no such thing! now if youll excuse me im going to go back to talking to ronnies relatives with her

[wannabett is offline]

hisshissmotherfucker: i guess ill keep you all informed on their gay shenanigans

nopeaz: who even says shenanigans anymore??

hisshissmotherfucker: uh i do fight me

nopeaz: square up bitch

hbicheryl: if i had a dollar for every time tt and sp said that they were going to fight i would have enough money to rebuild thornhill

goingtoheller: cheryl, you're the one who burned it down in the first place.

hbicheryl: yes and??

goingtoheller: ...nevermind.

hisshissmotherfucker: im snoRTING

jugheadalones: what happened?

hisshissmotherfucker: so veronica was talking to one of her relatives right

hisshissmotherfucker: and the relative asks her if she has a boyfriend

hisshissmotherfucker: veronica laughs a little and says no so her relative looks at betty whos still trailing behind her like a shadow

hisshissmotherfucker: and knowingly says "oh i see, a girlfriend"

spillthefogarTEA: ajklfshagak i cant even

hisshissmotherfucker: both of them are sputtering uncontrollably unable to formulate a response im dying

hbicheryl: ahahah it was only a matter of time before something like this happened but im really glad it did

nopeaz: i mean relatives are supposed to know you better than anyone else right?

jugheadalones: oh b&v you oblivious wlw

goingtoheller: we're never letting them let this down, are we?

spillthefogarTEA: not a chance

hisshissmotherfucker: IT GOT BETTER

hisshissmotherfucker: veronica finally managed to speak and she (unconvincingly) insisted that she and betty were just friends etc etc and her relative just raised her eyebrows and went "mmhm"

nopeaz: drag themmmmm

hbicheryl: omg we stan

hisshissmotherfucker: im trying to stifle my laughter bc betty and veronica look like they want to murder me

hisshissmotherfucker: but you know what screw it its worth it

hisshissmotherfucker: oh shit bettys coming over here and she looks pissed

hisshissmotherfucker: hello punks, this is betty. i hope youve had your fun listening to sweet pea narrate everything but now im taking his phone and wont be giving it back until the party starts

[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]

jugheadalones: awww

goingtoheller: at least the party starts soon anyway. then, i'm sure we'll get even more beronica fodder.

jugheadalones: true

hbicheryl: see you then losers

spillthefogarTEA: back at ya cheryl

7:48 PM

nopeaz: cher and i are on our way

goingtoheller: fangs and i are leaving now.

jugheadalones: and im at your door at this very moment

jugheadalones: let me in

jugheadalones: okay great im in

hisshissmotherfucker: and i just got my phone back

hisshissmotherfucker: i will not stand for this tyranny! this is a republic not a monarchy!

wannabett: keep it up and im taking your phone back

hisshissmotherfucker: the oppression continues...

wannabett: sweet pea...

hisshissmotherfucker: fine

[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]

veroffica: now, let's get this party started!

10:03 PM

spillthefogarTEA: hey guys i know this is fun and exciting and all but would you mind congregating out in the living room? ive got some news

hisshissmotherfucker: anything for my best bro

jugheadalones: sure thing

10:07 PM

hisshissmotherfucker + theMANtle

hisshissmotherfucker: hey mantle are you free rn

theMANtle: yeah, you want me to come over to your trailer?

hisshissmotherfucker: yep im on my way there too

hisshissmotherfucker: see you in ten?

theMANtle: none of your friends will be there, right?

hisshissmotherfucker: nah theyre all still at veronicas party they wont even notice that im gone

theMANtle: not that im complaining, but why arent you?

hisshissmotherfucker: i needed a break

theMANtle: so you were hoping that i could help you blow off some steam? ;)

hisshissmotherfucker: that was the general idea

theMANtle: youre in luck, then. i currently have a lot of free time and what many call an impressive amount of stamina.

hisshissmotherfucker: perfect

[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]

10:15 PM

gays united

spillthefogarTEA: hey has anyone seen sweet pea? i could have sworn that i saw him before kevin and i made our announcement but now i cant find him anywhere

nopeaz: hes probably just in the bathroom or brooding in the corner somewhere

hbicheryl: dont worry about him just celebrate! youve officially got a new boyfriend!

spillthefogarTEA: "dont worry about him" have you MET me??

goingtoheller: babe, he probably just got bored and bailed.

goingtoheller: i know that he's your best friend, but he isn't who you're dating--i am. can't you forget about sweet pea for a little while and just relax?

spillthefogarTEA: i guess so

goingtoheller: great!

spillthefogarTEA: ill just text sp real quick and attempt to verify that hes still alive first

goingtoheller: whatever you need to do, fangs. i'll see you afterward.

10:19 PM

spillthefogarTEA + hisshissmotherfucker

spillthefogarTEA: hey sweets, i just wanted to make sure you didnt do anything stupid

spillthefogarTEA: i know that you arent kevins biggest fan, but youre my best friend and i dont want to lose you over him

spillthefogarTEA: i wish you were here to celebrate with me but i get it if you cant

spillthefogarTEA: please, just text me back whenever you see this to let me know that youre okay.

[spillthefogarTEA is offline]

10:41 PM

hisshissmotherfucker: thanks for being so understanding fangs but ngl i dont know if i can handle you dating keller

hisshissmotherfucker: i mean like you said

hisshissmotherfucker: we're best friends

hisshissmotherfucker: so i shouldnt have a problem with you going out with whoever you want

hisshissmotherfucker: but something about him just rubs me the wrong way

hisshissmotherfucker: sorry if that wasnt what you wanted to hear

[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]

Notes: Sorry, this was supposed to just be a long holiday chapter, but I had so many ideas I had to split it into two. Bear with me, please! Also, happy new year, gays! As 20gayteen comes to a close, I hope you find even more peace, prosperity, and (of course) bisexuality in 20biteen!!

[catmeme-moved]

all of the asks! >:3

god ok 

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

😏

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

i dont think i could date anyone who does any kind of drugs,, it makes me Very uncomfortable

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

its only 4 babey

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

sober...ive never been drunk

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

i guess?? it was in high school so i dnt think it rly counts since yknow, i was 16

7. What does your last received text say?

“jgdijgjfdivjdjdj me“

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

not enough times !!! i love kissing my gf

9. Where was your last kiss at?

in the parkinglot behind my dorm building

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

i saw both my sisters when i was home for break a few weeks ago

11. What do you drink in the morning?

coffey

12. Where did you sleep last night?

my bed 

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

not rly? i think if relationships r hard then they arent rly meant to be

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

god i wouldnt have spent so much money

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

none at all ;3c

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

i guess rainy....overcast weather is my fav

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

my mom ! probably lots of other people too shjkdh lee is a fairly common name i think

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

jeans

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

i hope so!!!

20. Does anyone like you?

god i sure hope my gf does

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

nop

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

ya thats why i kissed them ghksdjs

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

no one that i know personally.. there r some like celebrities and other famous ppl i dont like

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

yes i want a tattoo from a specific artist in my hometown!!!

25. In the past week have you cried?

i mean probably i dont remember though

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

a pug...i saw him in a donut shop

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

i dry off as im stepping out of the shower

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

no bc jocks intimidate me

29. Do you think you’re old?

not really in the grand scheme of things.. im only 20 i still have decades ahead of me !

30. Do you like text messaging?

ya

31. What type of day are you having?

its been ok! i spent time w my roommates downtown

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

i hav my septum pierced but a nostril piercing would b nice

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

cold..

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

i dont rly think theres such a thing as “opposite sex” since sex is also on a spectrum like gender

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

relationship ! flings r nice i guess but i prefer the stability and commitment of an actual relationship

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

i thnik im fairly simple..idk

37. What song are you listening to?

when he died by lemon demon

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

yea of course39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

my best friemd emily40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

theyre hot and funny and very kind!!!!41. When did you last receive a text message?

idk maybe an hour ago42. What is wrong with you right now?

im hungry and not being held by my gf43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

its my mom so fairly well i think44. Does anyone disgust you?

men45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

no bc im already dating someone46. Are you in a good mood right now?

i feel...neutral47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

my roommate !48. What color shirt are you wearing?

its blue pruple n green tie dye49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

ya my history professor told me i had to read books50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

no one is coming to mind51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

i dont hate anyone!

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

almost gave up on ever being able to pet the raccoons outside the dining hall but someday ill be able to earn their trust

53. Do you like rain?

yes!!! 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

not rly ! as long as theyre safe about it ykwim55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

no i think ive told most of my crushes how i felt about them at the time 56. Do you like to cuddle?

god yes i love to hold and be held57. Are you shy?

its the social anxiety 58. Do you get along with girls?

i am a lesbian59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

we r dating !! 60. What do you carry with you at all times?

my phone and my peper spray 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

id do it for 10 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

ive been in my current one for 7 and my longest lasted 8 ! 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

yes! 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

anything my gf does is cute65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

my cat yawned when she tried to meow and made a weird squeak sound

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

18 (or maybe 19 now idk), 19, 20

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?    

i do them myself bc i hate spending money68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?    

ghgdh,....neither69. Do you have any stickers on your car?    

i dont have a car yet 70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?    

neither...i dont rly like eithr of those music genres71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?    

im samsung bitch until i die72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?    

its been months. maybe years. i dont like pizza73. Do you like diet soda?    

i dont rly like any soda anymore tbh74. What color are the walls in your room?

plain white...f    75. Are you 16 or older?    

bitche im 2076. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?    

nop i dont even know waht its about77. Do you have a job?    

yes i work in a library !  78. What are your initials?    

ylb79. Did you ever have braces?    

no :^/80. Are you from the south?    

nope im a pnw bitch

81. What does your last status on facebook say?    

something about voting82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?    

ya shes my best friemd83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?    

my mom.. fuck my dad !84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?   

i vaguely remember attending a gymnastics class when i was like 5 85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?    

uhh.. venom i think86. Do you smoke?    

no never !!!87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?   

flip flops. 88. Is your phone touch screen?    

god how old are these questions. who has a phone that isnt touch screen now89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?    

my hair is naturally curly !90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?    

no91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?    

a pool..... rivers and lakes r scary92. Have you ever made out in a car?    

not yet93. …Had sex in a car?    

no that seems. . difficult. theres not very much room94. Are you single or in a relationship?    

im in a luvly relationship95. What were you doing last night at midnight?    

sleepin96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?    

new years i think??97. Do you like the camera on your phone?    

yea its pretty nice98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?    

no but ik i wanted one before i got into my current relationship skdgjhj99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?    

no but i did drink half a beer thing once and went to sleep bc i got a stomach ache100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?    

i dont even use facebook101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?    

when i was in first grade id play “family” w my friend sometimes and she’d pretend to be the dad and i was the mom so we would spoon each other bc we thot thats what sex was and i thought she actually got me pregnant bc i was 7 and didnt know anything102. Name your favorite Kesha song:    

the song blind slaps103. Do you have any tan lines right now?    

no its winter and i also dont go outdoors104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?    

 i hate wearing shorts

[spacednp]

the second longest fic (i think??) i have (so far) that actually doesnt have a title

wattpad link

i still didnt even reread it to check for typos :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Tw: lots of dirty jokes, not smut but there's a kissy kiss, don't read if you plan on sleeping ;p jk it's not too too bad but it could be considered a little creepy so don't sue me if you're reading this at 3 am in a forest and now you're terrified also this is unedited bc wow that's long

AND YES IK THE TITLES LAME AF I DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO CALL IT XD

Srry about the random A/Ns I threw in I couldn't help it lmao

Magical AU kind of thing you'll like it trust meh

Wc: (this is a longen') 6.7k :0

Once Upon A Time...

Dan sighed as he looked out the window of the wooden carriage. He really hated traveling. Really really hated it. The blur of the dark silhouettes of trees filled his vision and the chill of winter hit his face as the carriage tugged into the night.

Dan, or Prince Daniel James Howell of Turntima as he was formally addressed, was on his way to the kingdom of Troi to have a meeting with its king, King Austial in regards to his eldest daughter's hand in marriage. It wasn't for love, it wasn't even Dan's idea. No, it was planned even before he was born, an arranged marriage. Marriage was just a contact, a treaty of peace. It meant nothing more. Maybe that was why Dan wasn't very opposed to the idea of marriage, because he was convinced it meant nothing.

The carriage stopped abruptly. What? No, this wasn't Troi, they weren't even close, Dan knew that much. He could of sworn he saw something deep in the forest move, a quick flash of something lanky and dark. Well that wasn't good, and now Dan was suddenly aware of a deep aching fear in the pit of the stomach, he felt like he was being watched. "What's happening?" Dan asked the driver. It was just he and the driver, it was a rare occasion where Dan was unguarded, which wasn't very bright he supposed as bandits were known to roam the woods they had to travel.

The horses screeched as if in fear. "I have no clue, the horses just stopped, Your Highness," The driver replied. In a spilt second though, the movement caught Dan's eye again, but now his suspicion of something there was confirmed. One minute they were alone and only the unmarked snow and dark trees surrounded them, but then, a second later, dark creatures with lanky limbs appeared.

They had beady blood red eyes that seemed to glow in the darkness and claw like fingers attacked to the ends of the limbs. Their mouths were just pits in their faces with sharp and thorn like teeth lacing the inside. A sudden chilly breeze swept over the carriage and the torches that once lit the carriage blew out swiftly.

Dan wanted to scream, wanted to cry for help, but a lump in his throat prevented the cries from escaping. He wished he could see, he was terrified. He knew monsters like this existed, but he hadn't read up on them much, never expecting to be in a situation where the information would be important, much less crucial for his survival.

Sharp cries of pain from the horses filled the air as the creatures devoured their flesh and Dan was suddenly glad he couldn't see what they were doing, for he knew what he saw would fill his nightmares. Even the cries they let out would scar him, that is if he lived through this to dream another night.

The monsters ate fast though and next came the driver, and this was more terrifying to Dan because it was another human. Of course Dan had some compassion for the horses, but knowing that the creatures had a taste for human, that wasn't good. The creatures ripped off the door to the carriage and the crunching of the man's bones filled the air soon and the iron sent of blood filled Dan's nose. The cries for help. The hopelessness Dan felt, the way he knew this was soon to be his dark fate.

Wasn't it kind of romantic in a way? Knowing your embedding doom lay ahead so soon? You spend your whole life worrying about it, but when it's right in front of you how are you to feel? You know it's coming, but does that offer any relief? Or does it provide terror? Both?

Dan couldn't even distinguish his emotions before the creatures turned their blood thirsty attention to Dan. Their eyes sort of glowed in a way, illuminating their faces with a red light. Their claws were stained with blood and flesh remained stuck in their teeth. The growling noises they made, deep and spine chilling.

A howl from a wolf in the distance. Dan's body shook, he couldn't move though. Claws gripped has shoulders and he was ripped out from the carriage and slammed into the snowy ground. He faintly saw the outline of lots of splotches and three larger pools of blood. He felt bile rise in his throat, thats what he fate was. A pool of crimson staining pure, crisp white snow.

The creatures looked down at him and his heart felt like it was going to explode with how fast it was beating, slamming into his rib cage. He shut his eyes tightly and thought he would never open them again. This was the end. This was death. The snarl of a wolf. What? Why did that sound so close? Ripping, tearing, screaming. Dan's body burned with the contact as the creatures clawed at him.

"Serelia! Don't just stand there! Make your stupid mangy mutt do something!" The voice of a male called. That wasn't one of the creatures though, no, that was a human. The voice was warm and almost made Dan feel peaceful despite the fact that he was bleeding to death. Sleep sounded very good... wow Dan was tired.

"She's not a mutt!" A woman's voice. "Anyway, Rix is already on it," shortly after those words were spoken, a sound, almost like twigs snapping, was heard. Suddenly no more claws raked at Dan. He felt someone drag him away from the carriage and he was pushed onto his feet.

"Alright, you gotta work with me here, try to walk, yeah?" The male's voice. Dan nodded his head weakly. He opened his eyes and was greeted by raven hair and icy blue eyes. Dan tried his best, but his legs weren't cooperating very well. His eyes shut again.

"He's half dead," The woman's voice spoke, didn't the male call her 'Serelia'? "That's no good, what are we going to do with a half dead prince?"

"Shut up and help me out," The male's voice snapped. "He's heavy." Were these people bandits? Were they going to kill Dan? No, they saved Dan. Whatever it was they were going to do with Dan, it wasn't kill him.

"Aye aye, captain," Serelia said. He felt another arm wrap around him. "Try not to bleed on me too much, you hear? Blood isn't my favorite thing to scrub at."

"Shut up," The male hissed. Dan didn't think he really liked the Serelia girl, she wasn't very nice. Then again, Dan could hardly form a coherent though. "What about your little puppy dog?" The man asked.

"She'll follow, she knows her way around, anyway even if she doesn't follow I'm not too hard to find with her," She answered. "Now follow my lead, I know somehow who could probably save this royal pain in the ass." Dan didn't hear what the male had to say to that because he drifted off, unconscious.

---

When Dan woke up he was laying on something very soft. He didn't open his eyes though, he just laid there. Suddenly a conversation filled his ears and he couldn't help but to eavesdrop.

"Serelia, isn't it nice to see you," an unfamiliar voice spoke.

"Skip the small talk, Litzu. Just take care of the boy and we'll be on our way," that was Serelia's voice, Dan knew that much.

"Eh, I don't feel like it," The woman Serelia called Litzu said. Dan didn't like this lady either. "Motivate me."

"He's bleeding to death for fucks sake! I don't care what past you too need to work out, do it on your own time, right now this guy is dying!" The male from earlier yelled. Dan thought he liked this guy, he seemed the nicest. Also, he didn't seem like he wanted to kill Dan, which was definitely a plus.

"It wouldn't be the first dead body Serelia had to dump," Litzu growled. The wolf from earlier made some kind of a growling sound as well, probably against Litzu and pro Serelia, if Dan had to guess.

"He's a prince," Serelia's voice was rough and laced with anger. "I'm sure everyone would be glad to have him back, maybe a monetary reward would be involved. Is that enough to motivate you to heal him?" The wolf was still growling.

"Ah, you know me so well, love," Litzu purred. Dan slipped back into darkness after hearing this though.

---

Dan awoke for the second time to the warm smells of ginger and rosemary. His muscles ached and he was very sore, but other than that, at least he wasn't dead. His eyes fluttered open to see a blurry pair of icy blue eyes looking down at him. He blinked his vision into focus and the person leaning over him pulled back.

"He's awake," The makes voice spoke.

"G'Morning, Sleeping Beauty," Serelia's voice purred. It came from a woman in a sold black dress with a deep purple hood on her torso, it was laced in the front with black sting, a bow tied it off at the top so it didn't fall off. Her raven hair was amazingly long and tied in a side ribbon so it fell down her right side. She had large pale grey eyes that resembled the moon itself. Her thin pale face showed no emotion.

The male with icy blue eyes stood next to her, his arms crossed in front of his chest, but a soft smile on his soft pink lips. There were bags under his eyes, one of those eyes was half covered with jet black raven fringe, in the same fashion as Dan's though his hair was a chestnut brown color and facing the other direction. He wore a brown jacket over a pale blue (and very stained) button up, black jeans, and black boots.

The other person, whom Dan assumed was Litzu, was shorter than the male by a least six inches but taller than Serelia by a two or three inches. She had short blonde hair the barely reached her shoulders and eyes that lacked color so much they were pretty much white that was tinted green. She wore a white dress that was pretty much summer attire, which slightly confused Dan as it was winter, but he wasn't about to question someone that very well might of just saved his life.

Dan sat up slowly and stretched his arms, wincing slightly as he did so. He opened his eyes again and blinked a few times. "Thanks," Dan said, "for saving me, I mean." He elaborated.

"Don't thank me, this brat made me do it, I wanted to watch you die slowly," Serelia confessed, slapping the male on the back. Dan then notice the wolf with pale grey fur and bright blue eyes sitting at her feet who seemed to hum in agreement. "The name's Serelia by the way."

"Don't worry about her, she's just still grumpy because she got locked up in a dungeon for two years," The male said, smirking. "M'names Phil,"

"I'm Litzu and I'm the actual reason you're still alive," Litzu piped up. Serelia rolled her eyes and the wolf scoffed. Phil slapped Serelia on the arm.

"Uh, right, okay then," Dan crossed his legs and didn't take his eyes off of the wolf. "What's up with the dog?" He finally said.

"Rix is not a dog!" Serelia yelped.

"Oh no, now you've got her started," Phil facepalmed. Dan was confused, what did he do? He just asked about the dog.

"She's a fimilar, first of all, second, she's a wolf," She hissed. The wolf made a noise Dan assumed was in agreement to what Serelia said. "Also, she's that one that actually saved you."

"Okay so maybe it was a team effort," Litzu said. "But I was a big part of it."

"Well Rix saved him before you!"

"He wouldn't be alive right now without my herbs!"

"Well Rix saved him first still!"

"Stop arguing!" Phil yelled, cutting them off. "You sound like two five year olds arguing over who'll get the last cookie!" Dan couldn't help but smile at that, he found it amusing. He also noted that to some degree two fairly attractive girls were fighting over him.

Dan looked around the cabin he was in as the three continued their little argument. There was a little kitchen area with a table and two chairs, some counter space, cabinets, and a wood burning stove, no sink or icebox though (which made sense Dan guessed because they were in the middle of the forest, where would the electricity and water come from?) there was a sofa, a coffee table, a stack of wood which Dan assumed was for the stove, and then the bed Dan was laying on. (There was also two backpacks sat next to the door but those looked out of place and Dan assumed they belonged to Serelia and Phil)

Dan looked down at himself. His button up shirt was torn and stained to the point of no repair. However, his jeans seemed to be rather intact, which was good. His chest and arms were pretty beat up, lots of scratches, a particular one across Dan's stomach was the most concerning to Dan, but it seemed pretty manageable. There was some weird herb mix rubbed on Dan's wounds, it was very potent and almost overwhelming, but if it was healing him Dan had noting against it.

"Earth to princey boy," Serelia's voice broke into Dan's thoughts. He looked up to see all three of them looking at Dan expectingly. Had someone been talking to him?

"Uh, what?" Dan asked. Phil laughed a little but had the decency to cover it up with a fake cough when he saw no one else thought it was funny.

"I repeat, where were you going all fancied up?" Serelia said, glaring at Dan, looking very annoyed and unamused.

"Oh uh, Troi, fiancé stuff," Dan replied vaguely. "Also it's kind of late for this but I should probably tell you my name, er, if you don't know..?"

"Prince Daniel Howell, of course we know," Serelia rolled her eyes as she said his name. "Anyway, more important matters, fiancé?"

"Oh, heh right, yeah, I'm kind of famous," Dan muttered. "You'd think I'd remember that."

"The guy has bloody dementia I swear," Serelia hissed. "Fiancé. Talk."

"Oh right!" Dan yelped. Phil cough laughed again but Dan ignored it. "Yeah, sorry. Anyway yeah we were going to settle official business and my hand in marriage was to be offered to King Austial's eldest daughter, what was her name again? Melissa?"

"Melanie," Phil coughed as if to make it subtle. "Oh wow looks like I have a cold, lots of coughing."

"Oh yes it's suddenly come to me, her name is Melanie," Dan said, trying to hide his smile.

"You're going to marry a girl you don't even kn-what?" Litzu stuttered. Dan laughed a little. "What's so funny?"

"It's not for love, royal marriages never are, why do you think they're so many royal affairs?" He asked rhetorically. Litzu seemed to ponder this for a moment.

"Well what if you like, fall in love with her?" She suggested. Dan couldn't hide his laugh that time, it was too funny and ironic.

"That won't happen," He said bluntly after he'd stopped laughing long enough to get a word in.

"Well why not? Don't be rude I'm sure she's really nice and-" Dan cut Litzu off.

"Because I'm gay, I don't like girls." He told her. Her cheeks flushed and Phil didn't cover his laughter with a cough that time, he doubled over laughing.

"It's not funny!" She squeaked. Dan joined Phil in laughing because the whole thing was very ironic and Dan couldn't help but be amused at it.

"Sorry to break this up, but am I the only one concerned with us actually having to do something with Danny Boy here?" Serelia said, placing a hand on her hip and glaring at everyone in turn. Her wolf had abandoned the ground and now laid curled up in the corner, asleep.

"What do you mean?" Phil asked, brows furrowed in confusion.

"Well he has to get to Troi eventually and we're gonna help, yeah?" Serelia said. Phil nodded in agreement. "Well then we need to talk plans."

"I volunteer we go when it's daylight and they're no walking monster tree demons," Dan spoke. Serelia shook her head.

"They're still there in the daylight and were even more at risk when the suns up," she told him. Dan raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms.

"I don't get why," He stated.

"I'll explain," Phil volunteered. "Serelia has moon magic, her and her little wolf friend are pretty much useless at day time,"

"I am not! I just don't do as well as I do at night is all," she said.

"No, you're useless," Litzu agreed with Phil.

"Wait, 'moon magic'? That sounds anticlimactic," Dan exclaimed.

"It's is, its very very lame," Litzu declared. "I'm not just saying that because I hate Serelia either. Her magic is just really dumb.

"Rude~," Serelia sung.

"Serelia can control living things and set up magic barriers, but only when the moon is out," Phil explained. "She also has a weird thing where she can talk to wolves."

"Ah, coolio," Dan replied, looking at Serelia. She didn't seem all that special, despite the fact that she looked pretty scary with her weird eye color.

"'Coolio'?" Phil eyed Dan, looking confused and slightly like he was judging Dan.

"What?" He asked. Phil shook his head and held his hands up.

"Nothin', you do you, boo," Phil said.

"Flirt on your own time guys!" Serelia snapped. Dan rolled his eyes but directed his attention from Phil back to Serelia. "Okay, so we need to get travel at night, any objections?"

"Nope," Dan said.

"No," Phil agreed.

"Hey who made you the leader?!" Litzu whined. Dan glared at her but said nothing.

"I'm the leader, any objections?" Serelia asked.

"Nope," Dan said.

"No," Phil agreed again.

"Democracy is messed up," Litzu muttered under her breath. Dan caught Phil's eye to see they were shining with amusement and it looked like he was having a hard time keeping a straight face.

The wolf sleeping in the corner sneezed and it made Dan jump. He blushed and crawled out of the bed. "Wow, our fearless prince, jumping at a little puppy sneeze," Phil teased.

"Shut up," Dan stood next to Phil and stretched again. He whined slightly at the pain, but it wasn't all that bad. "At least I finally got out of bed."

"True, true," Phil agreed. "I'll try not to sneeze and scare you." Dan slapped him on the arm.

"Are you guys always like this to royals?" He asked rhetorically. Dan wasn't really complaining, the lighthearted conversation and occasional joke were fine by Dan, but they were uncommon and Dan wasn't quite used to it. Most people acted like they had a stick shoved up their buts when they talked to Dan, he never just had a relaxed conversation with them.

"Yeah, we have no morals," Phil smiled and Dan was glad that Phil didn't take offense to his lame little joke.

"This isn't going to work if you guys are going to abandon all strategy talk to flirt every three minutes," Serelia snapped. "Keep in mind little Philly, Dan's practically married."

"Don't put it like that," Dan winced, cringing a little at Serelia's wording. It wasn't a lie, but it still made Dan a little uncomfortable. He wasn't married, or even engaged, yet. He was still technically a free man, even if it was only for a little while. Phil was kind of cute and all, but there was no way Dan could or would pursue a relationship with the man. Unless Phil was okay with having an affair... no, Dan couldn't do that, no matter how cute the boy was. He couldn't bring someone into that mess just for his own gain.

"We weren't flirting," Phil whined. Yeah, Phil really had a one track mind, Dan realized. He didn't even seem to care about the married thing. It was pretty true though, he was pretty much married. He wasn't flirting with Phil, intentionally, but he couldn't help if the boy was kind of attractive and maybe Dan's mind was sort of caught up on that a little. There wasn't anything wrong with it, but Dan couldn't be in a relationship with Phil.

Serelia rolled her eyes but continued to talk about how they were going to get to Troi, "So we need to continue to head north until the break in the trees, then comes the river, we probably don't have to worry about that and we have our little ticket right here," she nodded towards Dan who took a fake bow, not amusing anyone but Phil who covered his laugh with a cough. "Once we get there, Phil, Litzu, and I will get our reward and then we'll be on our way."

"That's a stupid plan," Litzu said. "What if they through us in the dungeon because they think we hurt princey boy here?" She asked, wrapping an arm around Dan's shoulders. Dan saw Phil shift in the corner of his vision but didn't pay much attention.

"They won't do that," Dan pipped, "not without reason, unless one of you is a convicted criminal?" It was more of a question than an explanation.

"Okay change of plans," Serelia said. "Phil will take Dan to the castle and I'll stay as far away from that glorified hole in the ground of torture as possible."

"Umm... yeah okay," Phil didn't really look like he was listening, he was starring at where Litzu had her arm on Dan. Why was he doing that? There had to be a reason, right? Jealousy was the only reason to come to Dan's mind. No, Dan scolded himself, he needed to get the idea of he and Phil being anything out of his head.

"Okay, um, Litzu, you can let go of me now," Dan said awkwardly, trying to wiggle out of her grasp. The realization that Phil was starring at them because of something like that made Dan uncomfortable. He didn't want Phil's gaze on him anymore, it was making him self conscious for no reason.

"Fine~," She sung. She didn't just let go of Dan like a normal person would of though, no. Instead, she pushed him into Phil, who let out a squeak as Dan slammed into him. They landed on the ground with a thud. Dan's face flushed as he noticed he was practically sitting on Phil. Then he realized that for some reason, Phil had his on Dan's hips. Okay, that was worse. (A/N don ac li u dun lik it danyul) Okay, maybe it was better. (A/N buttr&u bttr thank me l8r bc u luved it)

"Uh-I-um... sorry, are you okay?" Dan asked sheepishly. Phil smiled up at him and when he finally spoke amusement laced his voice.

"Oh wow Dan at least buy me dinner first," Phil teased, or was that flirting? No, it was teasing right? Just a joke. Then he winked. Dan might of had a heart attack just then.

"Uh-I-I'll get up," Dan squeaked. Phil nodded and took his hands off of Dan's waist. Dan got off of Phil and offered his hand to help Phil up, who gladly accepted.

"Litzu! We're trying to get them to stop trying to get in each other's pants, that's not how you get them to stop, idiot!" Serelia chided, slapping Litzu on the arm. Dan adjusted his hair, hands fidgeting for something to do.

"We're not-never mind I forgot to care," Phil said, rolling his eyes. Dan nodded his head in agreement though his face was still warm with embarrassment.

"So, on to more important matters," Serelia started. "We should rest today and then set out tonight, yeah?"

"Yeah," Dan and Phil said in unison. (A/N haha they're so married, NERDS)

"Sure," Litzu agreed for once. "Daniel, I'll give you some herbs to help you sleep. Come," she gestured with her hand for Dan to follow her and walked off. Dan eyed Phil like 'should I go or..?' Phil shrugged, so Dan decided to go. What's the worst that could happen? Okay, maybe there were some bad things that could happen, like homicide, or genocide. Maybe omnicide, which really wouldn't be all that bad if you thought about it, humans were terrible.

"Okay, so, where are we goin'?" Dan asked, trying to look and act casual. His breath kind of hitched in his throat a little, where was this weird healing lady taking him? What if she killed him? Or raped him? Okay, that was a bit much, Dan doubted that she would rape him.

"Shut up and wrap a blanket around yourself," she ordered. "We're going outside." Wow okay she was very very dominant, the rape thing was starting to sound more and more realistic. Dan obliged and walked over to grab a blanket. He mouthed "save me" to Phil as he did so, who just giggled and waved 'goodbye' to Dan. Dan rolled his eyes, trying to look annoyed, but ended up just smiling in amusement.

"Stop flirting," Serelia growled. Dan rolled his eyes again, but his smile was gone. He disliked Serelia more and more the more she did these things. He heard the growl of her wolf as if it was agreeing with its master. Dan wrapped it around him, painfully aware of the fact that everyone was starring at him.

Serelia started a conversation with Phil as Dan walked away, but Dan was aware that Phil never took his eyes off of Dan as he walked away. He would of made a little show of over exaggerating his hip movements, but he was trying to not flit with Phil. He didn't really want to either, well, maybe a little. He still didn't wave his hips though because if Serelia saw him she might make her wolf eat him. It was a stupid thought but Dan wouldn't put it past the woman, she seemed to really dislike Dan. A dark thought flew into Dan's brain. What if Serelia was... jealous? No, Dan didn't have time to overthink Serelia being a brat, it was probably just her personality anyway.

"Earth to Daniel," Litzu's voice shook Dan from his thoughts. Was she talking  to Dan? Oh no, how much had she said?

"Er, what?" Dan stuttered. Litzu rolled her eyes and grabbed Dan's hand, pulling him out the already opened door. Uh, when did she open that? Dan still felt Phil's gaze as he walked out of the cabin. What was his problem? "So what do you need me for?" Dan struggled to keep his blanket on with his left hand as his right hand was kind of... in use.

"Not yet," She said, still holding Dan's hand. He wished she'd let go. He wished he could think of something other than glimmering blue eyes and dark fringe. The worst thing though was that he was starting to wish he didn't have to marry that princess. She was probably rude, she probably wasn't even remotely kind. Phil though-no. No thinking of Phil. "Get out of my head," Dan wanted to scream. He'd never felt like this before, he'd never fallen so quick. It wasn't love though, was it? No.

As a child, Dan never heard the phrase "I love you." Not to him, not exchanged between his parents, never. He knew people threw it around too much though, and he wasn't about to do that. He felt goosebumps when Phil's blue eyes met his brown ones, thinking of the boy made his heart jump into his throat, and the idea of just touching the boy made Dan's stomach knot and his cheeks burn, but it wasn't love. He didn't know that emotion and throwing it around wasn't something that excited him in the slightest. Love didn't sound... fun. The idea of you're entire life revolving around one person... that was terrifying. Relationships scared Dan even more, because love didn't hold a relationship together. Love wasn't enough, you needed more than that. What if Dan didn't have more than love? What if he didn't even have love?

A cold hand slapped Dan's face, making him jump. He realized that Litzu wasn't holding onto his hand anymore so he took the opportunity to hug his blanket closer because wow it was cold. Small flakes of frozen water drifted down from the sky, dancing to the ground slowly to join the other snow that still littered the forest floor.

"What the h-" Litzu cut him off. Ugh, he hated that. It was rude, and Dan wasn't used to being treated like that. His cheek burned from the contact and his mouth hung slightly ajar in shock.

"You need to stop thinking about Phil for five minutes to listen to me," Litzu hissed. Dan closed his mouth growled lowly in the back of is throat, but he kept his mouth shut, physically biting his tongue to keep from snapping. "That girls no good, the king's daughter, I mean."

"What do you mean?" Dan spat. He was curious, but what good was Litzu's word anyway? Dan knew little to nothing about the woman. For all he knew she was just about to kill him.

"She's just no good, she'll tear you up, that is if you make it to Troi alive," she told Dan, who was still skeptical. Dan was just about to ask another question when an arrow went flying right past his ear, hitting the tree behind him. Warmth trickled down his neck from his ear as he realized what just happened. An arrow was shot at him and it nicked his ear.

"Get down!" Someone yelled. Dan didn't though, he couldn't move. Was that Litzu that yelled that? No, it was a male's voice. It was familiar voice though, who was it?

Pressure. Pressure on Dan's chest and he fell to the ground on his back, the air escaped his lungs in a puff. Growling. Growling filled Dan's ears. Grey. Grey fur clouded Dan's vision.

Then he realized what had saved him. Serelia's familiar. He heard yelling in the distance, but it was a loud blur of sounds, all mixing together. He couldn't distinguish a single word. What was happening? The snow was cold, Dan was tired. Sleep... sleep sounded good. Dan was going to sleep.

Once again, Dan passed out.

---

He woke up on the soft bed in Litzy's house, warm blankets piled on top of him. His eyes fluttered open and everything was a blur, wow those lights were bright. He blinked a few times to try and focus his vision. He felt like he had a hangover, and Dan knew what that felt like. Dan was a lightweight and got drunk on half a glass of wine, so hangovers were normal for Dan.

"Hey, Dan," A soft voice cooed. It was a nice voice, Dan liked that voice. He liked the person it belonged to as well. Dan was so focused on the voice he didn't realize that it called him 'Dan'. Not Daniel, Dan. Or that they were alone. All he cared about was how Phil was sitting next to Dan's bed and how Dan liked his voice.

"M'I like your voice," Dan slurred. He felt like he was drunk and hungover at the same time. Yeah, that was a better way to describe it. Phil laughed. "M'like your laugh too."

"Litzu said that the herbs would make you tipsy, I didn't think she meant drunk out of your mind," Phil said, smiling. Dan liked his smile too. Dan liked his eyes. Dan liked his hair. Dan liked his everything.

"Noooo, I'm not drunk," Dan whined. "Don't say that." Dan pushed the blankets off of him. "Too hot."

"I hope Serelia and Litzu get back soon I have no idea what to do with you," Phil thought out loud. Dan sat up and just looked at Phil. Just admired him. Wow, he was pretty. Very very pretty. Phil bit his lip nervously under Dan's gaze, and oh freaking wow that was hot. It took all Dan had to not attack Phil right then and kiss him. Luckily Dan had some self control, even being slightly intoxicated. Dan broke the awkward eye contact though and looked away from Phil, at the wall behind him. Get a grip Dan, he thought to himself, get some self contr- his thought was cut off as pale thin lips pressed a kiss to his mouth.

Phil.

Phil was kissing Dan.

What?

The kiss was quick and shy though so as soon as it started it stopped. Dan didn't even have a chance to think, let alone kiss back. Dan wasn't very happy with that. A little peck that he didn't even react to.

"I-I'm sorry I shouldn't of-" Dan cut Phil off but returning the kiss, but with one actually worth something. Seriously, Phil's kiss was kind of pathetic. Any normal person wouldn't be happy with that, right? It wasn't weird that Dan felt a pull, urging him to press his mouth to Phil's. Dan's eyes fluttered closed as soon and he put his lips to Phil's.

Dan put a hand on Phil's neck, pressing himself closer to the blue eyed boy. Phil didn't miss a beat and kissed back without hesitation. Did he want this just as much as Dan did? Phil set a hand on Dan's side, then he moved it to Dan's lower back. He pushed Dan closed and Dan wasn't about to complain. His senses were on fire and everything in him craved Phil, wanted him closer. The wanting was so strong it hurt. It was a hunger for Phil that was burning in his chest, tearing him to pieces. Phil's other hand sat on Dan's left side, a gentle gesture that sent chills down Dan's spine.

Someone behind Phil cleared their throat and Dan and Phil sprang away from each other, faces burning a bright crimson. Dan looked up to see Serelia standing there, purple hood sitting on her head and snow dotting her clothing and hair. Her grey eyes blazed with something Dan couldn't read and her lips were pursed. Litzu stood next to her, smiling like an idiot. The wolf was sitting at their feet, also covered in snow.

"We leave you alone for five minutes," Serelia hisses, words sharp as daggers. Litzu clapped her hands together excitedly and took a breath to speak but Serelia shot her a glare and Litzu clamped her mouth shut.

"Um-I-Wait are you two a-oh my-I'm a terrible person," Dan stumbled over his words. Did he just ruin a relationship?

"No but Serelia thinks we are," Phil's voice was stone cold, which was new to Dan. He hasn't heard Phil talk this way before, he wasn't going to lie, it was hot.

"What do you mean 'thinks'?" Dan questioned. He felt stupid all of the sudden. He didn't get the whole relationship thing. Were they together or not..?

"Oh I'm sorry, I meant wishes," Phil growled, not taking his eyes off of Serelia, who was starring at Dan, eyes unforgiving and cold.

"I do not," Serelia spat back. "I hope you two are happy together with your little royal affair." She stormed out of the cabin, wolf dead on her trial.

"It's not an affair since I'm not married yet," Dan muttered under his breath, watching Serelia as she had her little fit.

"Don't mind her," Litzu sung. "Welcome to the I-kissed-Serelia's-boy-toy-so-now-she-hates-me club!"

"Is-the-uh-um, boy toy?" Dan raised his eye brows at Phil who was now looking at Dan since Serelia left. Phil shook his head 'no' immediately, somehow understanding what Dan meant. Dan was still kind of loopy from the herbs.

"She tried pretty flippin' hard but no, no way. Never," He insisted. "M'A little gay, no girls for me thank you very much," Dan snorted a little laugh at this, he wasn't sure why but he found it funny.

"I really don't want to marry that stupid princess, whatever her name is," Phil opened his mouth as if he was going to say her name but he kept it shut and let Dan finish. "It was kind of sad, really, I just gave up. I didn't care that I was being forced to some snobby princess that I didn't love. Isn't that pathetic?"

"I wouldn't say it's pathetic," Phil said. He eyed Dan's hand like he was going to hold it, but he ended up not even giving it a second glance. Maybe he didn't care about Dan in the same way Dan did him, but Dan didn't mind. He'd gotten the guy to kiss him, that's got to be more points than getting his hand held.

"I would," Litzu piped in. Phil shot her a glare and she put her hands up in defeat. "Right, lovey dovey happily ever after fairytale moment, gotcha."

"I really don't want to marry her," Dan repeated. Phil gave him a look of sympathy. His eyes trailed back to Dan's hand but he didn't touch it. Okay, now the little looks were starting to annoy Dan. "If you don't just grab my hand right now I swear I'm going to marry that brat of a princess just so I can throw you in the dungeon."

"M'sorry you're into bondage, hm? That's good to know," Phil teased but grabbed Dan's hand nevertheless. Dan's face flushed and he slapped Phil's arm with his free hand. "BDSM too?"

"Phil!" Dan yelped sheepishly.

"Wow aren't you vocal? Also good to know," Phil continued. At this point Dan was redder than a tomato and Litzu was laughing so hard in the background Dan thought she might wet herself. Phil giggled and his tongue poked out of his mouth as he did so. Wow that was hot. "Sorry I'll stop."

"Good," Dan sighed. Phil bit his lip and and knew that it was to keep himself from making a sexual joke. Dan just rolled his eyes and Phil bit his lip harder. "Wow how dirty is your mind?"

"You don't want to know," Phil shook his head, laughing to himself. "Well if you play your cards right you might find out for yourself someday," Dan blushed deeper and hid his face in his hand. "Wow you're such a bottom."

"And you're such a pain in the ass," Dan muttered. "Don't comment on that I just got it." He said when he looked up to see Phil struggling to hold in a laugh.

"So, are you guys up for running away from royal guards for... Well the rest of your lives?" Litzu pipped up, looking out the window. "Because it looks like you might have to, well, we might have to."

Dan and Phil made eye contact and smiled a little. "I'm down, what about you?" Dan asked.

"Well I mean I'm up," Phil winked and Dan face palmed.

"Do the innuendos ever stop?" He asked, laughing a little.

"Nope," Phil's smile was from ear to ear and he looked so so happy. Dan smiled as well.

"Good,"

"That was better than any stupid marriage vows any church could of made up," Phil chirpped.

"Isn't it a big early for marriage?"

"Says the gay prince who was just about to get married to some rude princess and didn't care," Phil quipped.

"Fair enough," Dan giggled.

And they lived happily ever after, running away from guards and making inappropriate jokes.

THE END