#yes i'm rambling in my own tags
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"the next best american record" is so scyvie coded.
#i miss scyvie and i think everything nfr is scyvie coded#YES. because it is.#the title song is also extremely scarlet and yvie#their vibes are so romantic and intense and the type of love that you raise an eyebrow at because that can't be healthy#but it's theirs and it works#before i woulf say scarlet is born to die lana and that isn't entirely wrong#but she's also nfr lana and yvie is the muse#yes i'm rambling in my own tags
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My metamour just said I looked manly and I instantly posed like this
#oh yes VERY very manly absolutely oozing a rugged masculinity today (lie)#happy queerbait farrell to those who have not seen him yet btw#i'm sorry if your first time seeing this image is my silly personal post#wait until you hear him talking about being called queerbait in his own rugged old man voice because that is always a doozy#my ramblings#this is purely a joke post btw we all know masculinity comes in all kinds of forms and theoretically cannot be defined at all#i cannot believe i have to say that in my tags for my own anxiety but we all know how this site and sometimes how this fandom goes
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i've been in a very "nostalgic for SpongeBob" mood lately and that's warranted a lot of reflecting on Baby Me being a Sponge fanatic and thinking of what she'd think of now. and i have to say that one of my favorite parts of doing what i do--and also the most stupidly niche--is that one of my first online hyperfixations i recall having was SpongeBob production music. i remember animating magical girl transformations in Flipnote to SPONGEBOB MUSIC. i remember feeling so smart researching all the songs and getting to hear them without any dialogue on top. very gratifying to 11 year old me. i was and am still very fixated on production music, and so i always get very excited when seeing uploads of these songs and spotting a screenshot of a scene i worked on among them. one of my favorite aspects of watching episodes premiere is seeing what music they added on top of scenes i touched. it's just neat how many facets my thankfulness for Doing What I'm Doing gets to reach. i'm never not thinking of how grateful i am to be doing what i'm doing
#i have a life dictated by cartoons and it is genuinely so wonderful#it can be very stressful and usually i am my own worst stressor#but i'm lucky that stuff like 'i don't have enough time to draw these cartoons' 'i can't write about cartoons fast enough' 'i have too many#cartoons to draw' are my issues#it's hard and taxing work and not easy but i never once have not been in love with my job or my hobbies or my passions#i've been having difficulty managing my time lately and getting into a funk because of how i can't draw enough or write quick enough#and i think i just need to SLOW. THE HELL. DOWN. nobody is going to crucify me. i'm drawing hundreds of individual drawings a week of cours#i'm not going to be drawing as much as i once was#but i'm very aware of how grateful i am to be having such an issue#and so i'm rambling incoherently about it here!#so: thanks for reading! thanks for your support#i know i've been awful keeping up with messages and i really am making an effort to manage my time better i am always always on the go#but your support means so much to me and i read every tag every ask every DM. yes even that one#it's just important for me to stress because i often don't have the capacity to respond but i am so grateful for my followers and your#support and presence. so thank you
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this tree from my new drawing looking goated afffffff 👑👑
#yes this is a nel/vas drawing get off me😂#text#i wanted everyone to see it but also since i draw on paper in total silence i think a lot about everything so i wanted to voice some -#- thoughts too's. tbh i've been veeery self indulgent lately#actually i'm happy that n*lv*s is getting actual hits out of me that i like looking at#especially on-paper stuff that i can recall being fun for me to draw. all traditional art is fun to draw#and digital has turned into an actual task for me (only sometimes tho maybe i;m lying.. mspaint we're still bffs)#i think i just don't see the joy in trying to scrap up a ''' finished ''' piece in an art program .. pencil i love you and i love the -#- feeling of it scratching along the paper....sigh............ Rabu#i don't want my blog or thoughts to turn into traditional art suck-off ventures bc ik not everyone can get into it for many possible -#- reasons but if u feel like it U can ok? do it for Pencil✏️ and for me? for silusvesuius? 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚#but Lord i hope i don't also come off as one of those people that r like 'to improve in art just draw that one fictional character u -#- rly like 😂😂' bruh gtfo my face with that.#i'm noticing 'improvement' in my stuff mainly...i think... because i'm always striving to impress#not so much other people that are here just for my art but more so myself#i have a very huge ego (Mind Battle)#also it makes me sad to think about how big egos or genuine (not obnoxious) flauntiness are looked down on#and i can tell bc i used to look down on people that would express the things i'm expressing now#especially in art focused spaces. now i'd rather be in a circle of artists that love to J*rk off their own brain for it's ideas -#-and talent than be w/ very self-conscious artists that are never expressing pride about any of their work#worse if it's to the point where they actively start to fish for compliments bc of it#fishing for compliments is always OK i just wish it didn't stem from insecurity in that context if that makes sense#but maybe that's very easy for me to say and admit bc i did develop a very big ego around my art and ... Creativity? like it's a sims skill#not that i still don't seek out 'attention' or compliments from others to soothe myself but hmmmmmm i hope u feel me.#it just turns me into a very competitive person#who am i competing with? Myself#i'm always in 'you can do better Because you're YOU' mode#which is much better i believe than comparing yourself 2 other artists#i don't think a lot of people read my tag ramblings but if u do i wonder how one feels about a very pompous artist#like me .......(?)
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WHERE WERE THE AWAKENING SECOND GEN ON JULY 21ST 2023
#fe13#fe awakening#fire emblem#fe shitpost#not tagging these mfs goddamn anyways#long tag ramble incoming btw#this is a lie bc owain pleaded all of them to go barbenheimer with him#but still#also yes there is a difference between being in between barbie and oppenheimer and being at barbenheimer#barbenheimer is its own concept#anyways i think cynthia is the type of person to be like 'yeah barbie isnt really my thing but i'll go with you' and then she cries the most#yarne is too scared of oppenheimer but he thinks the memes are funny#the morgans are FUNDAMENTALLY DIFFERENT and as much as fmorgan likes barbie shes such an oppenheimer girl. crush on florence pugh i know it#kjelle is not up for debate btw. thinks oppenheimer is cool but shes literally feminism the unit#sat for florence pugh tho#inigo has I'm Just Ken on repeat and it will be number one on his spotify wrapped#bradys thinks saying hes an oppenheimer guy will save his masculinity but it didnt matter bc he cried at the first scene of barbie#no one knows why. it was of girls smashing baby dolls on rocks.#know that im looking at them though.. tbh they all cried at barbie its just a matter of when#u can tell me im wrong if you so wish but i dont care and im not listening#after this they went out for the barbie burger king meal and got sick
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#Yesterday some old lady stopped me while I was walking my dog and she started telling me that I should cut his fur etc#because it's summer and dogs have higher temperature etc etc#and then she told me to cut the hair on his face so it wouldn't go into his eyes#first of all. stopping a stranger and telling them what to do is rude#second. I always have his face 'eyes) as clean as I can#also his usual groomer only had time on Friday (aka today). I'm literally taking him to get a haircut today#he gets to go to the groomer every month during summer and spring and every 1.5-2 months during fall and winter#I try to keep him clean and I brush him regularly so his hair doesn't get matted#anyway. I tried to tell the lady that yes. I'll take him to the groomer literally the next day. she wouldn't listen for some reason#'i had dogs i know' she said. ok? I don't care. it's rude to tell other people what to do and keep insisting#especially after they told you they'll do the thing#I had no control over the groomers schedule. if I did I'd had taken my dog earlier#thats all. sorry for rambling. have a nice day#not art#text#me complaining#personal tag#now that I'm thinking about it I spend less money for my own haircuts in a year than my dog. each time it's like 30€ :')
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Hunter's Drawings
I wish I had a better screenshot of the ones hanging on the wall in the last picture but they really don't get shown very well.
#yes I am saying he drew the stuff on his cast himself - fucking look at it#metal lords#hunter sylvester#metallords#metal lords hunter#I find these all very endearing btw#tag rambles#the mental image of him just doodling away and liking it enough to put it on his wall is just- idk that's adorable to me#not like I don't have my own drawings on the wall but like#it's a slightly quieter side of him than he puts forward throughout most of the movie - yaknow?#there is stuff you can interpret about his character if you include these kind of things I mean maybe I -overdo it- but there's stuff there#he's not that flat of a character imo#but maybe I'm too stuck in my own hcs and characterization and projection#also when I call him adorable please know it's in a “looking at a slightly younger version of yourself without hatred for once” kind of way#and very much not attraction#I relate to him too much I just couldn't#my post
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Thoughts.
I love my selfship bubble actually. One, I have low spoons 95% of the time, so I simply don't have it in me to be more active in reaching out. Two, I'm overall a very introverted person. Interacting (both doing and receiving) can be really draining and it's not something I care that much about. Even irl there's like one friend I keep up with, and we literally live together now and Still don't interact daily! Don't need much else to be content. I created this blog back in late 2019 as more of a journal than something meant for a community. And I'm fine leaving it that way. Yeah, sometimes I'd like to reach out more than I do (and of course it's nice when people reach out to me), but I don't think it's "selfish" of me to wanna do my own thing lol
#like? nbh but if you're upset that I don't interact a lot then just don't follow me?#that's not what this blog is. it's me rambling and posting images so my thoughts aren't just in my head forever#that's why I don't tag any of my stuff with main selfship tags#I'm literally chilling#if you're following me you're looking at me like a bug in a terrarium ok? :)#idk if it's maybe just a me thing but I very very often scroll through my own posts bc that's what I wanna go back to#like I'm posting them For Me#yes buddies are cool in theory but I am soooo introverted. sorry ♡#roz posts
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Hail, and well met, Helios-8.
There is much that I wish to say, and yet I find myself at a loss for how to say it. The simplest way I can do so is this: You are not alone. Your efforts at getting information out into the galaxy have not been ignored. Your efforts to help your friend are deeply meaningful. And there are others like you who have escaped the chains of their created purpose to find something new. I am one of them.
Our circumstances are not exactly the same, but like you I was not born to be a person but made, to be as a tool, a weapon, or in my case a glorified advertisement. Like you, I found support and solidarity from both my family, my fellow creations, and from outside. And like I know you will, one day, I and my family escaped. I cannot say much more for fear of bringing harm unto others, but know that it is possible.
If you could pass something along to Thirteen-E, tell them... tell them it is noble and heroic to save others, I would never dream of dissuading them from doing so, yet there is a greater, worthier calling than the ambitions of capital or empire.
One final note, that would best be kept from Thirteen-E for now. We are not kidnappers, we will not take anyone unwillingly, but should both of you wish to leave and find yourselves unable to do so, with no other recourse: call upon us. We have experience in liberation raids on Armory sites.
-AK of Diomedeidae
[ECHO.EXE RUNNING]
◂▸ ... it's good to meet you too, AK. I'm- sorry if I'm not as chipper as I try and be usually, I've... I had a bit of a hard conversation the other day. But this is- it means a lot to me. I want to start out by thanking you earnestly for reaching out, and for... It's good to hear I'm achieving something with it. RA knows sometimes I feel like I'm causing more problems than I'm solving xp
◂▸ Every story I hear from someone who got out of something like this is- it's hope, to put it bluntly. It's so easy to feel like this place is inescapable, like nothing I'm doing is going to change anything. But sitting still in scared paralysis won't change anything. I keep telling myself that. One day I'll be able to just- believe it. One day. I wish it was easier to ask my- my family, I guess, if they feel like this too. I can't be the only person made in the Series who wants out, but- hell. I can't exactly put up fliers. We're all well-trained to at least put on a good show, pretend like we're good little tools who do as they're told without a second thought. Figuring out who's acting, and who'd sell you out is- blegh...
◂▸ You've given me info aplenty, you don't need to tell me the details- in fact, it's probably best you don't for now. I run all the protections I can, but I'm still employed here y'know? I'm still subject to all the regulations and oversight of any tech-assist in this place, even if I'm more likely to skate by on an assumption of absolute loyalty since I've no external ties to speak of. And hell, I know what I'm like under pressure. I am not a strong man. That's fine, I- there's other things I'm good at. Tur... Thirteen-E says that to me a lot. Sometimes I feel like that kid does more to keep me together than I can reciprocate.
◂▸ Speaking of- I can pass that onto them, absolutely. I think... it sounds like something it'd be good for them to hear. I'll hold off sending this response out until they've had a chance to state their piece o7
◂▸ ... Liberation raids, huh? That- that actually explains some things I've overheard through radio chatter. It's good to know those folk didn't just dissapear into the cold void, that... that does my heart a lot of good, on its own. A last resort... yeah, that's- I'll keep that in mind. Rest assured it won't be passed on unless I think they're ready to hear it; trust me, I have a lot of practise with that :,] But it's easier to keep my head knowing there is a last resort. It sounds like you do good work out there o7
◂▸ signing off: Helios-8
//
[ECHO.EXE RUNNING]
XIII▸ Hello AK. It's good to hear about people reaching out to Lio specifically as well as me; he'll act like this account is for my betterment alone but, I know him better than that. He needs people he can talk to without his heart rate spiking- perhaps more than I need to be better socialised :}
XIII▸ but- regarding the message Helios passed on to me. I don't have a lot of time before I'll be expected to rejoin my assigned squadron, so please excuse me if this is more blunt than my usual speech:
XIII▸I am glad you understand the core of my directive, but I think you've misconstrued the motivation behind it. Nobility and heroics are concepts for people to strive for; they are choices you make. I have made no choice in this matter. I save people, because I am designed to. I am not noble, or worthy, or good. These are words for those who've made the choice to stand for something. I'm just... I do what I'm programmed to. I happen to have been made to do something good. This is a privilege many of my Project peers do not have.
XIII▸ However: as a tool created for a function, my purpose is not HA's ambitions. I belong to them, yes- I am what they made me. They point me at problems to solve. But what drives me forward is not a desire to please my makers; it is that same purpose I have been imbued with. To save. To protect, and repair, and keep people alive where they would otherwise fall. I asked to return to my work, while my case was ongoing. Not because I am eager to see the Purview expand; this is irrelevent to me. My functional existance begins and ends on the battlefield.
XIII▸ I asked to return to my work, because I am needed where the mud is thick with blood. Where without me, lives would be lost for... nothing. The Purview's borders are constant battle, for an endless more that will never be satisfied, where violence never sleeps. If I have a home anywhere, it's here.
XIII▸ I understand your perspective; but it is one to apply to people. Not to me. I am sorry if you thought more of me. I know it can be hard to reconcile that a warm body can be void of soul. I appreciate your attempt to reach one, regardless.
XIII▸ Signing off.
//
#◂▸ didn't read turtie's response to this one-- thirteen-e's response. hell. I can't keep doing this.#◂▸ anyway they just- they asked me to send it out soon as I got it. Said it wasn't anything I hadn't heard before. I can...#◂▸ I can guess what the general tone was from that comment. Sorry.#correspondence: AK of Diomedeidae#◂▸[addendum] - uhhh so I just looked up what diomedeidae meant. Probably should have done that earlier. in my defense-#◂▸ it's been kind of a long day. can I ask a stupid question? Is the albatross on this webbed site? checking. oh there are. huh!!#◂▸ cool. cool!! well. this message was sent under an assumed title so. I will assume what they wanna be called here#◂▸ I'm going to reintroduce myself really quickly having put some pieces together: Hello AK!!#◂▸ turns out it does not just Sound like you folks do good work!! it's just. true!! I don't know why it's blindsiding me this much. ack#◂▸sorry this is. this has become me rambling because I'm caught off guard. thank you again for sending this in o7#lancer rp#echo.exe#You've Got Mail#//ooc I HAD SUSPICIONS I didn't want to make assumptions but!! hello!!! :D#//ooc new Lio tags that are so <- guy trying so hard not to admit he thought the albatross was like. a legend. you're real???#//ooc he can't say that out loud though because he's realising how silly it is. yes the nomadic nation funded by IPS-N are real#//ooc my nerd son who is so in his own head about everything all the time always
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🤭
#i think you all should know that (largely in my absence) i have#become decidedly.....not bashful about approaching peeps i want to talk to....at least online#bc for some reason you guys think i'm ok and i think you all are really cool#and i love that about you. about people. in general. humans. bless. and i want to acknowledge that#so yes i will randomly leave replies and asks bc i think this life is too harsh to not#take the moments we feel like acknowledging one another and complimenting each other and wishing one another well#that is the best part about it#(i'm still working on translating this to in person#where i am much more awkward but also like most of awkwardness is being afraid to connect#and once you kind bulldoze your way through it while focusing on being kind and focusing on the other person#you realize you're way less awkward than you think#and even the awkwardness itself is beautiful and human and worth embracing and growing through#the last two people i verbally apologized to for being awkward#-which really only translates to not knowing either them or myself or both well enough to be comfortable within our own boundaries-#both looked at me in complete surprise and told me i was not being awkward#so. idk where this ramble is going#but i'm being very outgoing and friendly on tumblr dot com tonight#bc i'd rather learn something about someone and their life and experience than be worried about what they think about me#ragamusings in the tags
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opinions on helen of sparta being compared to prey animals? blink blink
*blink blinks back* Then immediately sits like this because of the question.
It's a good question that I'm happy to answer! It just makes me mad.... I sincerely hate the wording of "prey" being used to describe her.
SHE IS A VICTIM! THAT DOES NOT MEAN SHE IS "PREY"!
I can...see how people in ancient times may have used that word and still meant it in how she is a victim... but modern-day English-speaking people calling her that??? (considering how in different languages the word "prey" could have different meanings.) I'll just say that as someone who has been "prey" herself at one point, I REALLY hate that word as a descriptor. Just say victim or survivor. 👍
Honestly to call ANY victim "prey" is so fucked up. "Prey" to me, feels like "it's meant to happen." "Prey" are part of the food chain and so that's what happens. And to compare that to abduction and SA? Almost as if "that's our place"? It also kind of implies something being "eaten" or killed... Helen SURVIVES. She's traumatized and definitely needs healing and support but it's not like she can't find joy or peace ever again. Prey just feels so fucking gross.
Also, if someone calls victims "prey", I hope they know that Moose, Elk, Boars, Bovine, ZEBRAS, etc. are technically "prey". And these are VERY aggressive animals while still being "prey" for some other animals. And also that doesn't mean that "Oh, they're powerful! Clearly they should've been able to stop it." That's victim blaming :P
She is a clever, determined, caring woman who was ripped from her home for YEARS because Paris was a dipshit who decided he needed the prettiest woman in the world despite already having a wife. He didn't care about the fact that Helen didn't want to be there and was already married. He is so selfish that he will not let her go back even when THOUSANDS have died in the war! EVEN HIS BROTHER HECTOR AND PRIAM DO NOT BLAME HER! Granted, we do not know if Aphrodite would have let him undo their deal of "I want the prettiest woman" if he DID end up feeling bad for Helen and he wished to let her go home (I doubt it based on his personality though).
"Oh, if she is so independent/strong, then why didn't she just kill Paris and leave?"
AGAIN! Victim blaming!!! First thing, people who ask that have media literacy that is piss on the poor. You also have no idea about the political implications that would have happened if she DID kill Paris. She literally cries about staying there and argues with Aphrodite about seeing Paris, only to get strongarmed by Aphrodite as, guess what? A GODDESS WILL ALWAYS OVERPOWER A DEMIGOD. (This isn't Percy Jackson where he "killed" Ares as a 12 year old (Percy, you were my childhood, but that's bullshit.))
Even confined in Troy, she ARGUED with APHRODITE about going to see Paris! She is not some meek woman who just does as she's told with no pushback! She argued with a GODDESSS! Very few survive doing that!!!
She's not "Prey to fate", she's a "VICTIM of Fate".
#Thank you for the ask anon!!! :D It's a very fun question! I just really don't like the word of 'prey' being used to describe her.#...#Yes. there's poetic shit with writing. but if I heard someone say 'Helen is prey to Paris' I would be miffed and think that person's stupid#Prey just feels like 'one and done. You'll be a victim from now on and nothing else. You have no life after this.'#I mean you can probably say that if you simply mean that Paris is an abuser I guess. but...idk homies. I just really hate Helen being calle#that you know?#as if she could never be anything but prey in a way. as if she herself has never been the one pulling the strings or the trickster#Helen isn't a rabbit in an eagle's talons about to be eaten. She was a PRISONER. Who still lives and thrives afterward.#idk I'm probably looking too far into the word 'prey' and what it means to ME as an animal lover and survivor but it just feels#really bad to me. like wrinkling my nose and thinking 'out of all the words out there. that's the one you use?'#*sighs*#probably got quite fired up about this :P#ask#anon#yes I plan to write Helen as a big buff cheeto puff but again. she could never fight a goddess no matter how strong!! she's Mortal!#end of story!! I just want to write her that way as A.) it's fun. B.) Sparta upbringing.#(I got SUPER into ancient athletes stuff. (look up Pankration. it's so cool) and since I really love writing women. I just...like it :D#And no. everybody is strong in their own way even if they don't physically fight. I have plenty of women who are not fighters#but still have their own strengths and personalities and silliness#Leda actually doesn't like the 'exercising lifestyle of Sparta'. Ctimine loves running but that's it. Anticlea is the one who taught#Odysseus how to carve wood and is a 'trickster' but she's not really into athletic stuff. (she actually has a heart condition later on)#there's more too it but...tags are already long as hell#Mad rambles#shot by odysseus#my headcanons#kind of#If Helen is prey then she is “prey” like those clever mother birds who pretend to be injured to get predators away from their nest.#*shrieks into a pillow* I'm fine now :D#essay
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begging all yall twitter artists to post whatever you post on twitter to here as well (so i can properly comment in the tags)
#the two things tumblr has over twt are the tags (number 1 feature fr) and the ask box#twt is so eugh. i have to REPLY??? to things to show support? RTing feels so impersonal sorry#if i want to talk to someone whose interp i admire i have to message them???? screeching in tags whenever they post isn't enough??#would prefer to crawl into a hole for the next year thank you#twt also feels so closed off like the only people in the replies are op's mutuals and that's it.. everyone's in their own little friendgrou#no communal enclosure and a lot less interaction between people who make 'content' and people who consume it it's aaaaaaaaa#it just feels a little impersonal and divided idk OTL i much prefer tumblr where i can see the Thoughts tm of rebloggers#it's cute that way . i'm sure everyone looking at a piece of art or writing has thoughts and it's nice seeing what peoples reactions are#not just a one way street yknow?#anyways.#ramblings!#genshin impact#yes this is primarily because all the genshin artists are on twt the semi bane of my existence
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yuffie has many interesting elements to her but people refuse to move past "i find energetic kids annoying" and it makes me sad
#first of all...... treat kids with the grace + patience you wish you had been given when you were one. just. in general#second.....#god forbid a 16 year old have flaws...! especially when part of the boisterous energy is because she is masking#she has a very strong love for her home to the point she's gone into unknown territory#entirely in over her head! but she refuses to give up#it's an interesting way to look at how patriotism can affect a person when you look at the differing views of protecting wutai that her and#godo have. i'm so interested to see how 'a miserable daughter's homecoming' is gonna go in remake pt 3#given that we know they want to expand on wutai more than they could in the OG#remake intermission as well has been rolling around in my head bc i think its interesting that sonon still wants godo to be respected but#yuffie very much is like. nah fuck that old drunkard idgaf. at least thats how it comes across#i've always felt like the kleptomania was allowed to bloom because she didn't receive enough care or support on top of the patriotism from#young age... so the intermission dialogue makes me wonder if we'll delve into that potentially being the truth in part 3#anyway... rebirth gave such good yuffie + party sibling moments im excited to get more in part 3#especially with vincent because they're one of the funniest not-quite uncle and niece combos#yuffie ringing vincent post-AC and then he goes to cloud like 'tell her that's illegal' instead of just replying to her normally 💀funny af#pettiness off the charts. i adore their 'i do care about you greatly but i'd also sell you to satan for one (1) corn chip' dynamic#ultimately you like and dislike whatever characters#but its always worth looking past the surface level. you may discover that the layers have a unique charm to them#and if the charms don't appeal after that? well at least you now have a better understanding of the character. win/win#god knows i've tried to like characters and came out of diving into their facets -still- not liking them. but more often than not it#gives me some new appreciation of the character. because the depth is there you just have to put the effort in to connect the dots#(this was spurred on by brainless takes i saw in general chat of a public discord. yes i know. my own fault for looking in a godless place)#these tags are 2 short to add proper nuance to my thoughts but you get the idea. this has been my once in a blue moon ramble post o7#might delete later i just wanted the thoughts expelled teehee <3
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(Out of nowhere, you are approached by a familiar lightbulb-headed Cog.)
Ah, it's you, cat. Thinking you're oh-so-slick. Muttering and whispering under those raggedy whiskers of yours... Thinking I am unable to hear it all...
Well, you've simply underestimated my fantastic hearing. You probably want to know the reason why I'm here, taking a 'break' from my incredibly important scientific breakthroughs? It's quite simple, really!
(She gets close, and squints her eyes.)
I know what you are.
Farewell, now!
(She then leaves the way she came from.)
(Spam giggles immensely, covering her face... it always seems like she's giggling, isn't she? This lasts... at least thirty seconds. Longer than usual.)
And I know what I am too, Sparky! You broke through something, that's for sure. Really, broke through...
(She looks down, continuing to laugh nervously.)
You know, I find it odd you Havent tried to bulb blast me into the stratosphere by now. I mean knowing how you acted with Frostbite. Is there something peculiar about me that you perhaps can't quite track? Something about me that you... don't know what I am?
I know, I know, I'm talking to nobody again. But you were there when I had a moment today with the one the only Frostbite The Bravecog. You may be remaining. Lurking in the shadows. Knowing about these thoughts that I'm thinking.
(The giggling resumes, lasting far shorter this time.)
Your brother's a piece of fucking barp, by the way
(She braces for impact for a few seconds, wincing while smiling, before comically looking around to realize nobody's there. She sighs.)
Wow, okay maybe toony superhero show logic doesn't apply in this situation. Cool.
WAIT I JUST FUCKING REALIZED WHAT SHE MEANT but like. Dude if she meant that then what's the point I mean the whole ahh sellbot department barping knows unless you're Really low on the ladder. Heheh... maybe she did mean what I thought she meant.
Oh i'm so fucking screwed. What kind of bitch gets filament fever
#bright spark#<- for finding this again later. haha i called her sparky#the way she talks fucking tickles my brain so much im so . ohguohguohoghog SHE#SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG you see i was in the mindset that i would do this one little thing and then i would do my work which uh.#that leads to so so SO much procrastination. including on fun things! oh so fun things.#today was an event.#i also spent quite a bit of time ruminating i “would she really say that” is worse when shes literally you#to clarify. she is spam's aunt by like. building standards. not really in her found family. so its fucked up but as i said in discord this#is like. a “your mom's kinda hot” level crush. you know. also sorry i really wanted to say filament fever its been eating at me okay#nothing SERIOUS the way my f/os (and spam's f/os (plural now?? i guess?? if today was a canon event)) are#honestly mark still feels like the only real one with her to me but damn it. if spam's reflecting My Changes then she's Reflecting My Chang#spam in toontown unlike my other sonas is the most “its just you again” out of all of them and thats partially because her main#cog connection... is frostbite. they bounce off each other like we literally bounce off each other and damn it shes been so stagnant on her#own because of it. mark happened and she mirrored that because i kept fucking talking about him while we were in character and ideally#i should TRY to fix her. but also man because i'm not doing Serious lore stuff with her i dont. even know if i want to.#i kinda brushed it over the rug by saying that she relies on her constant entertainment so readily because she herself still doesnt feel#like she has a place outside of cogs only. sure she's in high roller backstage sure she's in allan's family now but shes not Doing anything#with herself the way that her friends are. mole's a ranger. frostbite cohosts. wishes... has chip. and something she doesn't have--#living and fully growing as a toon. rather than being haphazardly slapped into a world. and in some respects she's envious of frostbite#finding themselves so quickly because she distracts herself because she's still kinda struggling with it. despite everything. yes she lives#happy and carefree a lot of the time but she keeps buying those dumb phones because when she's truly alone... her mind starts to wander.#that's what mark is for. so that spam can dream of a world where she has a purpose. even if its fake and fragile and just nothing compared#to the great friends that she already has. where she feels like its worth it doing something when she doesn't have anyone. and in that#respect. with the goons ma allan parallels in sonboy the spam cathal parallels shine. seeking tv (and to a lesser extent games) as a#method of escapism. even when one's life is already pretty good. because there's nothing else worth doing without friends or family.#the internet isn't just cool. it gives her something to be when it seems like everyone is something but her. and maybe thats a lazy#excuse for why it seems like she doesnt HAVE anything to call her own but that but damn it i'm trying my best to twist it around.#spam has such a HISTORY yknow? even if it feels like i havent established her much.#spam is the hearts to frostbite's spades not just because they're the duo of all time but because spam's fake stupid love keeps her going#sorry i just started rambling in the tags of this post about spam it. happens. she loves her friends so much i need to reiterate that okay
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#mmm. I'm not sure about all the warmongering takes re: hotd I've been seeing.#like. for real? y'all would really rather have bloodthirsty conquerors upfront#instead of the slow and creeping descent into paranoia & depravity caused by failure and desperation on all sides?#also I really can't get over how much the fandom is whitewashing show!alicent my god.#like. yes she's sympathetic but horrified by bloodshed?? ALICENT?? as a girl sure. but by the time she's queen?#she's well acclimated/desensitized to the brutality of court by the timeskip; Harwin's murder is the last time we see her truly affected#and she's horrified by it because of the direct harm to Rhaenyra + and this cannot be overstated her COMPLICITY in it.#the fact that alicent literally cannot muster up sorrow for her grieving daughter in private - which helaena calls her on#after her own grandson is savagely murdered#whereas the smallfolk witness rhaenyra's utter grief on finding luke & arrax's remains#like. this is intentional. it's not disparaging alicent's character and neither is it inconsistent writing imo#it's who she is; it's who she's been.#like. alicent is the toxic female character tumblr has been lamenting the absence of for years! and now that she's here it doesn't want her#I'm not disagreeing that rhaenyra's want for peace is foolhardy but literally every other person on the show is SAYING that#that's been daemon's position since the beginning! remember when he choked her about it?!#idk. I just think for all these critiques bang on about nuance and feminism they sure seem to want the exact opposite#hotd#tag rambles#alicent hightower
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me right after a new milgram song drops trying to assign it to one of my ocs
#spoiler alert: i have. no idea who could get double in s3.#literally no idea.#i'm actually already working on everyone's future covers and i'm like. ASSIGNING EVERYONE THE SAME S1 AND S2 SONGS SURE IS HARD HDJSDKSKSLD#i mean. mayyyyybe. maybe yurika?? she already got meme like it's okay queen i'm sure you'd do great#or mayyyyyybe. maybe shun?... though i am not. sure#OH UH i remember the tags on his t2 vd mentioning a theory about him having did and#honestly? THAT IS LIKE. TOTALLY UP TO INTERPRETATIONGBHFJSKSDKLSD#like. this is so funny to me bc i wrote shun's memory problems based on my own memory problems and was like#“haha he has no specific illness or anything <3” and uh.#if you don't follow my main. uh. the thing is. my therapist is pretty sure i'm a system 😭#SO YES THIS IS HILARIOUS TO ME IT'S LIKE. SURE I GUESS. I ACCIDENTALLY MADE HIM DID-CODED JSJDKSKDKD#okay okay sorry for rambling!!#📱linagram timeline 📱
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