#yes i rearranged these for the ~parallelism~

[thefanciestdressedotter]

OP as parents: Mihawk

TW: none, pure fluff

[Disclaimer: This one will be OOC because I am a firm believer in goth family, sorry not sorry, fight me about it. Also this headcanon is happening during goth family hours during the timeskip bc of course it is]

Similar to Smoker, not great at showing emotions, but his actions speak louder than his words

Like if you are feeling down expect to randomly find a food/ snack you like in your room on Kuraigana at some point

Also if you weren't goth before arriving on Kuraigana (whether that was during your childhood or later on in life), you are now, no exceptions, Mihawk already had to accept having a himbo jock son, he can't have anyone else in his family not knowing how to dress

If you have long hair, Perona will regularly force you to sit down so she can play with it, if you don't, she will put a wig on you, regardless of gender or gender expression, Perona wants to doll up at least 1 person since y'alls dad and brother are stubborn

COOKING *clap* NIGHTS *clap* since Mihawk expects help in the garden, he also expects help in the kitchen, which turns into Perona and Zoro yelling at each other for doing things wrong an you being the only one actually helping your long suffering dad

Sometimes at midnight the whole goth family will go out to a balcony under the moonlight and just relax in each other's presence as everyone does their own thing (bc yes I think goth family has a form of parallel play, look at them and tell me I am wrong)

Nights spent in front of the fire are the best nights, bc typically you are Mihawk will talk about a book you are buddy reading while Perona has thrown herself dramatically on either a couch or one of you and Zoro is chilling in a corner

Sometimes Shanks randomly drops in to bully Mihawk about becoming a dad without his own consent, at first it was shocking but now you are just used to one of the Emperors of the Sea coming to your house unannounced

No, this does not stop you and your siblings from trying to attack Shanks every time he visits (idea from the amazing icaberries on ao3 and their work Meet the Kids, check it out and give it love!)

The manor is most definitely haunted, even without Perona's shades lingering around, so sometimes your bookshelf will get rearranged in a way you know no one else would rearrange it or you will hear a ghost moaning in the kitchen that let's you know something's gone rotten (also inspired by a fic I read that I am unable to find at the moment, but when I do I will link it)

Overall, wholesome goth hours

[likeadevils]

is there a specific order you like to listen to the red vault tracks in? i’ve been thinking about this a lot ever since 1989 tv came out because the 1989 vault tracks tell such a cohesive story so i’ve been trying to figure out how to do that with the red vault

YES ITS LIKE. THE ALBUM TO REARRANGE FOR ME I GENUINELY HAVENT LISTENED TO THE ORIGINAL TRACKLIST IN YEARS NOW

i think i’ve run through it before but here’s my thoughts on the mains tracklist

state of grace: perfect opener no notes

22: this is and holy ground can switch for me, i think either makes a fantastic track two, but it’s hard to pass up 22 track 2. also i like how the second song and the second to last song parallel each other

treacherous: building off of 22’s “you look like bad news, i gotta have you”

i knew you were trouble: it’s the obvious mirror of treacherous, and also i think it’s important to establish the emotion->exact opposite emotion flip of the tracklist, and treacherous and ikywt are a really obvious example of that

all too well: i mean what else can you choose. also it’s a good flip of ikywt because it’s all the moments where it DIDN'T feel like trouble

wanegbt: “i remember it all too well 😔” -> “I REMEMBER WHEN WE BROKE UP 😡🙄” is just an insane whiplash. ALSO track sixes are such a hard landing to stick and can easily be overshadowed by the track five, and having a song that’s already been released kinda lets the song simultaneously have its moment beforehand and let you kinda check out on your first listen through while you recover from atw

come back be here: i think cbbh really just deserves a main album slot, mostly cause it deserved to be played on tour, but i also think it’s a great whiplash from wanegbt and a great lead in to…

the last time: it takes the more crush-focused aspects of cbbh and plays them out to the bitter end, just that cycle of always leaving and coming back and leaving again. also it’s the end of the first half of the album

red: it’s a great pick me up in the middle of three mellow songs, also i can’t separate this from run which i can’t separate from sad beautiful tragic and i can’t put sad beautiful tragic right before all too well so it needs to be further down the tracklist

run: “loving him was like driving a new maserati down a dead end street” -> “give me the keys, i’ll bring the car back around” makes me go CRAZY

sad beautiful tragic: THE AMOUNT OF PARALLELS WITH RUN IS INSAAAAAAAANE

holy ground: again this is a bit of a floater like i could see an argument for this being track two. and the argument is it goes hard at the start of the red tour

better man: this just needs to be by the end of the album for me. it feels like the start of the summary, wrapping up what we’ve learned and starting the hard work of moving on that the last few tracks will continue

i bet you think about me: that first verse really stretching out the betterrrrr’s after better man is funny. also, after an album of one sided pining in one way or another, it’s just like hey. fuck you. also, at first it kinda bugged me how the last few tracks starts at 4am, then 3am, then the middle of the night, but then i started seeing them as just slowly losing less and less sleep over it, which i kinda love now

nothing new: here is the damage i am left with. even if i move on from this relationship, here is the mindset that will whisper in the back of my mind forever— that i am valuable because of my youth, that my happiness is mockable and my sadness is quaint. this is the thing that led me to the relationship and this is the thing that i will be left with after it

begin again: and then… begin again. choosing happiness, choosing maturity, choosing childlike joy. like, you all know it’s an amazing closer, but after nothing new it just sings

+ forever winter: i think this does add important context to her general mental state? like 22 mentions how everyone is miserable, but really focuses on the highs of being 22. forever winter adds to it, how your peer group is falling apart and even when you are at your worst, you are being someone else's shoulder to lean on. it's not Needed to tell the story, but it is a good bonus.

+ starlight: more good context, especially in taylor's personal life-- as far as i can tell, this is the first song she wrote for red that Wasn't about crash and burn heartbreak, and it really kicked into high gear an obsession with vintage fashion and mid century celebrities that she ended up building part of her personality around. she's not just trying to find her old self again, she's building a new one

+babe: what am i supposed to do, not end the album with this is the last time i'll ever call you babe?

+ state of grace (acoustic), the red demo, and all too well (ten minute version) to get the tracklist to 22 and also fun bts context!

[psalmsofpsychosis]

"#Alfred basically catches a lamb and goes

#''you're a beautiful wolf; i know you are; now you're gonna bite my hand until you draw blood so we both believe it;

#because that's the way we know how to be men.''

#and then 10 years down the line he looks at Bruce and he whispers in horror; ''that's a wolf''

#GIRL YES HE IS; YOU MADE HIM ONE. IT WAS YOU"

Your tags are so- Idk I don't have the words. No wait I DO-

THIS IS FREAKING BEAUTIFUL OMG

The way Bruce wasn't born with sharp teeth and claws to defend himself against the world. The place he was born into removed any need to grow them, but at the same time the place he was born into was the catalyst for him to turn into stone. Hard, unyielding to pressure and with its own jagged edges that you can hit until your knuckels bleed.

But the thing about stone is that you can chip away at it until it looks like what you want.

So Bruce was a lamb at the beginning, possessing talc for a heart, easy to rub to dust, but after the murders, he was molded into something different. He grew teeth and claws so big and strong it became difficult to be gentle, his heart was rubbed to dust and reformed and compressed and rubbed to dust and reformed and compressed until it turned into a diamond.

Alfred taught him how to be a wolf but didn't account on what would happen once Bruce's claws were bigger than his own.

CAN YOU TALK MORE ABOUT BRUCE AND ALFRED'S DYNAMIC PLEASE? You're literally rearranging my brain chemistry as I'm typing, wow. This feels so freaking strange. Thank you so so SO much

I wish you an AMAZING day

GOOD MAD MONDAY NOON TO YOU ANON YOU'RE KILLING ME. Like i'm over here lying face flat on the ground, head fucking full 99 thoughts per second this ride is going straight to hell—

You actually made them sound a lot like the Pygmalion myth, which is so right and true and also a very delicately apt interpretation of the way Bruce and Alfred's dynamic unfolds, particularly in Bruce's childhood, and particularly as portrayed in the Gotham series (which is my all time favourite Bruce&Alfred dynamic anyway, so excuse me for being annoying and immediately nosedive down that rabbithole)

See, to me the thing is, i dont think Bruce and Alfred understand each other at all. They're cut from very different clothes, and Alfred doesn't understand what Bruce /is/, but he understands what Bruce /can become/, maybe even what he's supposed to become, Bruce is the fifth element to him. Combine that lack of understanding and all the love and affection Alfred holds for Bruce and of course he makes a project of perfection out of him; Alfred molds and makes Bruce. Batman as a persona and as a purpose precisely exists *because of the way Alfred raises Bruce*, this is something that Gotham TV puts extra emphasis on. In many ways Alfred does carve Bruce into an idea of perfection, *his* idea of perfection, and Bruce lets him too. This is where stuff get a bit complicated though; Alfred is someone who struggles with his own humanity and darker side. He's so loving and loyal, but he's also bitter and mean with a vicious bite and he handles Bruce with such cold hands sometimes, and he hates every second of it, he hates his own humanity. So he pushes Bruce to get rid of his too, and they have this constant push and pull because Bruce has those exact traits. they're similar not in what they own about themselves, but in their shadows, when the sun shines on them their flawed humanity has the exact same shape and they both don't want a shadow; eventually the way they resolve this is by standing back to back and protecting each other and now they share their shadows and it's not so scary anymore. The Pygmalion myth as a parallel interpretation of their narrative fits so darn well because you are right, Bruce is made into stone and Alfred sculpts him to something beautiful and almost horrifying, almost inhuman, he sometimes forgets that Bruce is a person and not an idea, and it shows. But Bruce breaks mold, he always does, he forces Alfred to live with his own humanity and Bruce's, and this brings up a lot of grief for Alfred, but he loves Bruce so he finds a way to live with it and he does.

The Lamb/wolf metaphor is a different face to this same transformation process; in the early years Alfred has little space for Bruce's terrifying softness, but neither does Bruce. Bruce is scared of his own vulnurability and tenderness, this lamb *wants* to become something else, something less weak and helpless, something that could've saved his parents. He doesn't want to become a wolf persay, but the thing is, he has the makings. This is the reason Alfred can bring it out of him; he very much has the makings of a wolf. to juxtapose it with the pygmalion allegory; you cannot carve out of the stone what is not already in it. (this does bring up the question wether Bruce was ever a lamb at all, but that's a different topic for another day✨️)

anyway yep, i love your mind Anon, and thank you for the question! Hope you have an absolutely wonderful day too ❤️❤️

[icywaddle]

Kanamafu Roommates AU [5/?]

Honami finished cooking, serving out the pasta into a large container and leaving most of it aside. She poured the rest into two bowls, grabbing a fork for each and finishing with a small dash of cheese.

I’ll leave that one to cool, then put it into the fridge after I serve out some smaller portions for Kanade and Mafuyu. Speaking of Kanade and Mafuyu…

She turned to face the couch, finding the two dozing peacefully again. Kanade slept sitting up, one hand still tangled in Mafuyu’s hair as she leaned on the back of the couch to stay upright. Mafuyu’s head was situated in her lap as she laid down flat, parallel to the couch. Honami walked closer, a soft smile creeping across her lips as she crouched down to place the bowls of soup on the small coffee table.

As she turned to get up and begin cleaning, she let out a startled squeak, quickly covering her mouth to stifle the sound. She had been surprised by the sight of Mafuyu staring directly at her, completely alert. Sighing and placing a hand over her chest to calm her racing heart, she set down the utensils and turned back to Mafuyu.

“Sorry, you startled me a bit. Do you need anything, Mafuyu?”

Honami whispered softly, placing a finger over her lips and gesturing to the still sleeping Kanade. Mafuyu nodded and paused, seeming to think about her next words carefully.

“Honami… This may be a bit of a personal question, but- have you ever… liked anyone?”

The brunette blinked, seeming to ponder the question.

“Well, that depends. I have a lot of friends, and people I hold dear to me. But… that’s not what you’re asking, is it?”

Mafuyu shook her head.

“Mm.”

Honami hummed, rearranging the cutlery absentmindedly. Kanade suddenly stirred, causing both Mafuyu and Honami to freeze as she yawned, turning to the side and burying her face in one of the pillows sleepily. Both of them turned to stare at each other, Honami giggling softly.

“Yes. I have. I think- I still do?”

Honami said, her voice hushed. She stopped adjusting the forks, choosing the far quieter option of interlacing her fingers and twiddling her thumbs. Her gaze was misty, as if she was reliving some far off memory. Mafuyu leaned slightly closer, but kept mostly in her comfortable position on Kanade’s lap.

“… Then, how did you tell them?”

She asked, tilting her head curiously. Honami sighed, not raising her gaze.

“I… Didn’t.”

Surprised, Mafuyu raised her eyebrows. Sensing the question she was about to ask, Honami groaned and shoved her head into her hands.

“I just… haven’t found a good time- Or place-! We haven’t had time to hang out, since we’ve all just been busy with performances, or practice, or..!”

Honami stalled, realizing she was just making excuses for herself at that point. Shaking her head, she looked up and met Mafuyu’s eyes. Something glinted in her eyes. A tender sort of fear, so raw that even that short glimpse of it sent a slight shiver down Mafuyu’s spine.

“… I’m scared. Scared that it’ll ruin everything.”

Honami murmured, her voice almost breaking. Mafuyu nodded, tentatively reaching a hand out towards her.

“I am too.”

Honami hesitated, then placed her hand in Mafuyu’s, squeezing gently. She glanced up at Kanade, face still hidden away in the couch pillows.

“It’s Kanade, right?”

She asked, her voice hushed. Mafuyu nodded, almost sheepish. Kanade shifted in her sleep again, wrapping an arm around her pillow and pulling it to her chest.

“How long..?”

Mafuyu thought about it for a long while. It must’ve been the first time she’d heard one of Kanade’s songs. It had struck a chord in her, nestling deep in her heart and igniting a light in her soul. Almost unconsciously, she felt herself begin to smile, the corners of her lips lifting up gently. She felt her cheeks flush as well and attempted to hide her face, turning and accidentally ending up with her face pressed into the warm flower-scented fabric of Kanade’s hoodie. Kanade let out a breathy giggle, sleepily swatting at Mafuyu’s head. Mafuyu snapped her gaze back around, frowning as Honami let out a choked laugh.

“Not a word.”

Honami nodded, still smiling.

“Of course. Your secret is safe with me.”

Getting an idea, Mafuyu shook her head slightly.

“What about you? My interest for yours.”

Honami blinked, scratching her head awkwardly.

“A-Ah… I suppose that would be fair.”

Before she could continue, Kanade lifted her head away from the pillow and sneezed, blinking slowly as she began to wake up. Mafuyu jolted up in a panic, lifting her head off of Kanade’s lap.

“Kanade! You’re awake!”

Honami seemed relieved, grabbing a bowl of pasta in each hand and holding them out to the two girls. Mafuyu took her bowl, halfway through taking a bite before remembering she needed to cool it down first and blowing on the steaming sauce. Kanade yawned, stretching her arms and following suit.

“You two can have this for dinner. I'll go and tidy up the house a little.”

Kanade nodded, using one hand to rub the sleep from her eyes.

“Thank you, Honami.”

She said, unconsciously leaning sideways and pressing her shoulder against Mafuyu’s as she began eating her pasta. Before she could think, Mafuyu had responded in kind, muscle memory from the many times they’d done this before placing her on autopilot. As Kanade’s head began to clear, she remembered what had happened before. She tensed, debating pulling away for a second before she felt Mafuyu’s hand patting hers. Kanade tried to turn around and get a glimpse of Mafuyu’s face, but the latter kept her head pointedly turned away. Noticing the slight pinkish tint to Mafuyu’s ears, Kanade giggled despite herself. She decided to let it go, squeezing Mafuyu’s hand gently and returning to her pasta. They ate in semi-comfortable silence, Mafuyu finishing first and placing a little more of her weight on Kanade.

“So… Are we going to talk about it…?”

Mafuyu broke the silence, her voice oddly tentative. Kanade choked on her pasta, coughing and patting her chest. Her breathing eventually stabilized again, allowing her to sit up. She cupped her bowl in her hands, staring down awkwardly.

“Well…”

Kanade began speaking, but trailed off. She glanced over her shoulder, but Mafuyu’s face was still out of view, her hair covering whatever Kanade would’ve seen of her expression.

“What… would we talk about?”

Mafuyu shrugged, hair rustling as she shook her head slightly.

“I… Don’t know.”

She hunched her shoulders, feeling almost foolish for asking. This time it was Kanade’s turn to reach for her hand, squeezing it comfortingly.

“There was one thing I wanted to ask you about.”

“Mm…?”

Mafuyu felt her palms begin to grow sweaty. She tried to take her hand away, but Kanade simply held it tighter, twining their fingers together. Kanade began speaking slowly, her voice hushed.

“Earlier, when you- we- were in bed, you did something in your sleep.”

Flinching, Mafuyu’s mind immediately began racing. Had she done something embarrassing? Said something? Or, god forbid, made a move on Kanade…?

“O-Oh…”

She trailed off, not trusting her voice to hold steady.

“You said that… T-That you…”

Kanade began to stutter, eventually stopping altogether and letting go of Mafuyu’s hand to shove her head in her hands. For the first time, Mafuyu turned around, accidentally getting a faceful of Kanade’s silvery hair. Surprised, she blew out a sharp breath, prompting a squeak from Kanade as she felt Mafuyu’s warm breath on her neck. The former shrunk away, curling up into a ball. She lost her balance, falling to her side and onto a pile of pillows with a soft…

“Oof-!”

Mafuyu laughed softly, leaning over and placing her hands on Kanade’s shoulders. The latter made no move to resist, simply going limp and allowing herself to be spun. She could feel her face burning, presumably bright red, and tucked her head farther into her arms. Mafuyu reached up, tenderly grasping her wrists and hesitating for a moment.

“Kanade…”

She spoke softly, making a weak attempt to pull said girl’s hands away from her face. Kanade knew that she could’ve refused, could’ve kept her hands over her face, and Mafuyu wouldn’t fight the point. But…

“What happened?”

Instead of her usual monotone, Mafuyu’s voice seemed… curious? Her tone was soft, meek even. Kanade allowed Mafuyu to move her arms away, making her best attempt at returning the latter’s gaze. She looked down, letting some strands of hair fall over her face.

“You said… You said you loved me.”

Mafuyu froze halfway through brushing the hair away from Kanade’s face, her hand just barely touching her cheek. Kanade hesitated, then leaned into the contact, placing her warm cheek in the palm of Mafuyu’s hand. Mafuyu cupped her fingers, cradling Kanade’s head almost unconsciously as she scrambled for words. Her heart was speeding up, her breathing growing unsteady.

“I…”

A/N: Going to start including word counts at the end of each post!

PT5: 1502

Total: 6200

[alteredsilicone]

Was thinking about Alchemy and how it doesn’t seem to be Alchemy the way we understand at a glance and the whole weirdness with elements and “complex elements” which in on itself is not really a term we use, but I also thought of a way to rationalize it.

Anyways, (Fibonacci voice) heat, cold, electricity and toxin are the base elements we are introduced to. None of those are actually elements, however. Heat and Cold are two extremes of states of being – something is hot when elemental particles are moving very fast, and something is cold when elemental particles are moving very slow.

Electricity is the movement of electrons aka particles.

Toxin is a whole bag of worms because what is and isn’t “toxic” is wholly dependent on the reference organism (and also this breaks the realm of physics and goes into biology, however, some of the “complex” elements i.e. viral also randomly bring in biology so I guess I’ll have to cross that bridge when I get to it, something something Alchemy created viruses).

Anyways. Alchemy. Transmutation. How could one turn lead into gold? You break it down on an elementary level, rearrange atoms until you get what you want. Alchemy was also the key to discovering the Void, however, the Void is nothing. So, presumably, an absence of elemental particles that make up everything, organic or not.

Albrecht introduced particles into the nothing. In fact, he introduced an incredibly complex organic life-form to literal nothing. There is also a parallel to searching for the graviton or trying to find an elemental particle for a phenomenon we can observe (gravity in real life, the Void in the Warframe universe) but that we don’t have a “conventional” understanding of. Thus the need to explore the Void, to “prove” it with physical evidence. Also Orokin hubris. My man was playing god in the realest of sense (yes those recent Tennocon teasers have inspired me lol)

Which leads me to another theory – why is the murmur like That? Why is it sand and metal?

Organic life-forms are made up of carbon, sand is made of Silica, a silicon-based compound. Carbon and silicon are very similar in terms of atomic makeup – there are even theories that silicon is the next best candidate for complex organic life, however, silicon as an element is less “flexible” than carbon thus could be the reason we don’t have silicon-based life forms.

Wally tried to understand a complex carbon-based life form but got the next best thing, thus the murmur’s foundation is similar to sand.

What about the metal legs? Iron. Specifically, iron from hemoglobin which is in your blood. Another complex biological organic compound that Wally could not understand (break down?) so he instead latched onto a simple, inorganic element.

(maybe there is some logic to Wally being an inorganic life form? Makes him more unknowable and alien to us?)

Putting together all that Wally had learned, he started building the murmur and reaching out to us, but in Tagfer’s words, it’s all very half-assed.

thanks for coming to my TED talk

[themarsbar]

Get to Know Me Tag :)

ahhh muito obrigada sophia @sillylittleflower ! 🌸💜 i'm loving reading everybody's answers to this

do you make your bed? nah

what's your favourite number? mmmh, 3 maybe?

what is your job? if you are/have been a university student and you've ever been like "ugh those idiots at the students' office never know the answers to anything", i'm the idiot at the students' office who never knows the answers to anything.

if you could go back to school, would you? probably not. i like the learning part but i don't think i could take the being evaluated part again.

can you parallel park? absolutely not.

a job you had that would surprise people? idk i hosted at a crab house in maryland? that's as surprising as it gets from me lmao

do you think aliens are real? if by aliens we mean other forms of life out there, sure!

can you drive a manual car? nope. i did miraculously manage to get my driver's license way back when (on a manual car, that is) but i am terrified of driving so i didn't do it for almost a decade and now i can only drive my purposefully tiny automatic car and for only a couple of routes.

what's your guilty pleasure? this is hard. i honestly don't know.

tattoos? yes, i have 5.

favorite type of music? according to my spotify wrapped through the years it's mostly pop in different flavors of soul, hip-hop, r&b and rock. musical theater too sometimes.

favorite color? blue 💙

do you like puzzles? sure!

any phobias? making decisions? grasshoppers?

favorite childhood sport? i loved artistic rollerskating, i miss it a lot.

do you talk to yourself? i'm constantly having conversations inside and outside my head, but it's not with myself as much as The Audience™️. or you know specific people from The Audience™️. i hope this makes sense lmao

what movies do you adore? heart-warming and queer. heart-shattering and queer. sometimes both at the same time! anything that is queer and reaches into my soul to rearrange my dna.

coffee or tea? both but coffee a little more.

first thing you wanted to be growing up? an archeologist

Onward tagging: i don't know who's been tagged already, i hope i'm not spamming too much! @skibasyndrome @grapehyasynth @k-pepp @bigalockwood @allthefakepeople @belly-aches @wilmon

[dazaiosamusbandages]

ik a lot of peeps said that dazais more than a demon and that he has feelings and that even though he did lots of bad things, he was a kid growing up in a bad environment and yada yada but... doesnt he feel truly demonic sometimes? hes truly a fascinating character to me, but the more i try to understand whats going on in his mind, the more dead ends i hit. its like having a puzzle in front of you and never being able to get the full picture no matter how much you rearrange it. or to put it in a more personal way, his mind feels like an abyss. its dark, cold, vast and chaotic. its very scary to me. maybe its because im around the same age as him when he was in the pm but he really feels inhuman to me. no kid should have this kind of cold and empty energy nor give the impression that they're not real, as if they somehow ended up in this world by mistake. even in the more mellow moments, it always seems like his mind is elsewhere, like three universes ahead, looking for something that's beyond human comprehension. idk, what do you think about this? TuT

sorry for the late response, i have been somewhat busy and thus haven’t had the time really to answer anything

tbh to answer this, i think i’ll try to stray closer to my own personal experiences (as well as some others that i spend time with) to be able to explain that kind of “empty” existence and then connect it back to dazai that way. i think with some parallel to the real world, it might put some of his thought processes into existence

does dazai truly feel demonic sometimes? the realistic answer would be yes—of course the demon of the port mafia would feel demonic. he, himself, doesn’t seem to believe he’s human and everything tends to confirm that. everything including his ability, which also in a way could be interpreted to take away others’ humanity as well.

spending time with a group full of a specific kind of mentally unwell people (jirai, if you’ve ever heard of it) has shown me that a lot of these people tend to dehumanize themselves in the same way you see dazai. they don’t often consider themselves good people, but that self-awareness doesn’t stop them from doing bad things.

dazai does lead a somewhat empty existence, however he does still feel emotion and pain just like anyone else—like when oda died, it was (and is still) very painful to dazai. but even still, emptiness is not a foreign thing. this same feeling of emptiness is what i think leads him to make some of those morally questionable decisions, even despite oda’s final request.

the other thing is, i feel like part of what makes dazai seem so “demonic” in the port mafia is that it gave him an environment where the intrusive thoughts would be allowed to win without an immediate repercussion.

sorry if this didn’t fully answer your question, it was pretty difficult to formulate a good response wwww i still feel like i missed a few things i wanted to talk about too, but they slipped from my mind and i can’t remember at the moment soooo

[crow-talks-hockey]

get to know me game 🫶 special thanks to @oliviabelova for the tag :3

do you make your bed? not really i guess? i keep a lot of stuffed animals on my bed and rearrange those once they get out of order if that counts lol

what's your job? don't have one 🙃

if you could go back to school, would you? im already in school (hence the no job thing) so this doesn't really apply to me but i do love learning and i attend a small school, so i don't mind it. i just don't like the people so in that regards, definitely no. everything else is great tho :)

can you parallel park? i've not really gotten the chance to yet but i think i could if i tried? i've sort of done it before but i need room lmao. im not the best driver i can definitely admit that

do you think aliens are real? ehhh nah ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

can you drive a manual car? nope and i have no desire to learn how. my dad has one but i HATE it with a burning passion. i already dislike driving enough, i do not need to learn a whole different way to do it 💀

guilty pleasure? don't think i have any i should be guilty for lol

tattoos? none yet, but i want some and might get one pretty soon. me, my mom, and my dad might all get matching arrows :3

favorite color? red, specifically like a burgundy or a wine red. it's a color that looks really good on me and it's one of the avs colors, so naturally here we are

favorite type of music? probably alternative. my favorite artist is tame impala and i really like people like gorillaz too. either that or instrumental/indie. i love a little bit of everything

do you like puzzles? oh hell yes. i just did one a few days ago. i don't do them super often, but i like to devote my time to them when i can

any phobias? uhmm i think the main one i have is agoraphobia. being in large cities or groups of people has always stressed me out a lot, so i usually have to go with other people i know and barnacle off of them cos if not i'll panic like a squirrel in the middle of the road not knowing what to do or where to go ':)

favorite childhood sport? i never liked sports up until a couple years ago so i'll just go with volleyball cos that's what i played lol. even then i didn't like it that much but we'll say that i guess

do you talk to yourself? to quote the lego batman movie: 24/7, 365 days a year, at a million percent. so, yes !! lmao

tea or coffee? this is hard, but coffee. iced. always iced. i do love tea though, i just have coffee more regularly

first thing you wanted to be be when growing up? a veterinarian :]

what movies do you adore? the httyd series (specifically the second, that's my favorite movie), the john wicks, the secret life of walter mitty, ready player one, emperors new groove (best disney movie imo), the second top gun, and many more <3

tagging... @annieqattheperipheral @sidsthekid and @calemeowkar if you'd like to participate ❤️

[alpineshift]

get to know me!

I've been bestowed a tag from @imperatorrrrr ! 🥹 so now I'm on your dash hehe.

Do you make your bed?

Yes! Every single morning. It's really just rearranging my pillows and layering my blankets properly. I am entrenched in the routine.

Favourite number?

4. Perfectly even, perfectly square.

What's your job?

I'm a writer at my day job too, just less creatively inclined. I do a lot of technical writing, communications, and edit stuff like legal docs. I've read so many terms and conditions docs back to front lmao.

If you could go back to school, would you?

I already have! Halfway between my old job and new job I got an additional certificate.

Can you parallel park?

Yes, mostly because you need it to pass your driver's test where I live LOL. I don't use it often but I'm good at reverse parking so it kinda helps keep the skill fresh.

Do you think aliens are real?

100%. To quote Mr. Nico "I'd pragmatically approach the alien" Hischier, I'd be curious about them too.

Can you drive a manual car?

Absolutely not! BUT to echo imperatorrrrr it's kinda hot to watch someone who's good at it driving stick lmao

Guilty pleasure?

Garbage reality TV I can throw on in the background and just let it run. 90 day fiancé, selling sunset, selling the OC, singles inferno, things like that haha.

Tattoos?

More than 10!

Favourite colour?

Anything dark blue, dark green, or pastel pink.

Favourite type of music?

I will truly listen to anything at least once the only genre I haven't really enjoyed is opera. I lean more towards rock and metal rn. Just know that I edit all my fics to house music LOL idk what it is about that genre but it fucking slaps when I have to dial in.

Do you like puzzles?

I'm terrible at them but I like it.

Any phobias?

Trypophobia. I don't even know if I spelled it right but I am 2000% not gonna even risk checking.

Favourite childhood sport?

I was pretty sporty; I loved and still love figure skating, snowboarding, skiing, swimming, diving lol.

Do you talk to yourself?

Constantly. imo it's also literally the only way to guarantee your writing makes sense lololol I am always talking myself thru my writing at work and for fics.

Tea or coffee?

Tea in the mornings and coffee in the afternoons.

First thing you wanted to be when growing up?

A teacher, and then a journalist.

What movies do you adore?

The LOTR trilogy (of course), most studio ghibli films that came out before and including Howl's Moving Castle, the Matrix Trilogy, Pacific Rim, Anastasia, and sooo many more.

And that's me! I'm feeling shy today so this is just an open tag to anyone who follows me and comes across this - feel free to participate (and tag me after! so I can get to know all of you!) 🥰

[highlordofkrypton]

OMG DIANA AND THE VALKYRIES???? YESSSS

WONDERFAM AND THE VALKYRIES????? YOU BIG BRAIN YOU

joe chill from winter is the best hc ever i fear

also

arthur curry the half-human half-fae heir of summer and his full fae brother orm

something about oliver being related to the archerons because BOWS

bruce saved cassandra from CoN and adopted her (idk it makes sense kinda?)

dick is illyrian maybe???

jason is the son of a darkbringer/another CoN escapee

idk these might not be the best hc but please consider

EVERYONE WITH FAE EARS THAT IS ALL

UMMM?? YOUR BIG BRAIN IS BRAINING!! THESE ARE ALL SO GOOD OMG

DONT GET ME STARTED ON AQUAFAM bc IMAGINE THEYRE NAGA/NYMPH/WATER CREATURES WITH THEIR OWN KINGDOM?? Let me just propose you this 🙏 Half-Fae / Half-Naga Arthur. I just think Orm deserves some SHARK TEETH, you know?

What if WHAT IF Oliver & the Arrowfam are the hunters Feyre used to follow and learn from? 😭 You KNOW Dinah would have swooped the sisters in IMMEDIATELY. The Prythian Birds of Prey??

BRUCE SAVING CASS FROM CON BLESS YOU BLESS YOU!! ILLYRIAN DICK 🙌 YES YES YES I would love for Dick to have wing injuries or something, which is how he learned to fly without them (acrobat) BUT EVEN WITHOUT THE INJURIES CHEFS KISS CHEFS KISS

Anon you are REARRANGING AND FIXING MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY BY BRINGING UP MY SON JASON PETER TODD. Okay okay imagine he’s the son of a DARKRIDER who sold his family out for glory of whatever the fuck putting himself first, and he steals from the High Lord Bruce and gets adopted (angering his OG dad). ANYWAY, JASON DIES BUT HE IS CAULDRON RESSURECTED 🙌 We can even go full parallel because Lazarus Pit made him HUGE and give him a HUMAN background and he gets MADE in the cauldron 😭 GOD I COULD GO ON FOR HOURS

I HEAR EVERYTHING YOU ARE SAYING I SEE THE VISION THE SEROTONIN YOUVE GIVEN ME MY BRAIN IS EXPLODING

[merryfortune]

Hands Perfect for Holding Flowers

Written for Femslash February 2024

Day 5. Hands for Holding

Title: Hands Perfect for Holding Flowers

Ship: Egretshipping | Aika/Kotori

Word Count: 2,012

Universe: ZeXal - canon compliant

Rating: T

Tags: Post-Canon, Affection, Flirting, Pre-Relationship, Developing Relationship, Crushes, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Ambiguous/Open Ending

   “Oh my goodness,” Aika gasped, “your hair. It is so beautiful. It's perfect.”

   She stopped mid-stride just to tap Kotori’s shoulder. They were going in opposite directions. They typically did. Different years, different classes, different extracurricular activities. If it weren’t for the incident involving Rio and the Barians, their paths were likely always going to be parallel. They hadn’t spoken directly since. 

   Truly, their only connection being they just so happened to belong to the same middle school.

   Kotori blushed as she jumped out of her skin. Aika’s hand was soft and her voice was even softer. Her compliment was genuine as Aika reached out and toyed with it.

   “It would be even more beautiful if…” Aika said and Kotori was helpless to stop her as her hand moved. She undid the ribbon that tied up the side bun. Her hair unravelled in a swift motion, like the undoing a theatrical curtain. “It were down.” Aika giggled to herself, satisfied at her rearranging of Kotori’s appearance.

   An act which, from anyone else, likely would have been seen as rude. Kotori knew that Aika was something of an eccentric so she had more leeway than most for acts like these. Her earnestness and her eye for beauty helping, too. She was renowned throughout the school especially for the latter.

   “Thank you, Hanazoe.” Kotori replied.

   “Please, Aika, I insist.” she said.

   “Oh, um, okay.” Kotori replied.

   She had no idea that they were on such friendly terms. Aika certainly thought so. She smiled. Her lips always seemed so stern and critical, especially when her eyes slitted so Kotori felt her hackles rise involuntarily. There was something about Aika which caused the hairs on her arms to stand at end. That maybe the cruelty she exhibited under the possession of the Barians had not been implanted there, that it had merely exposed the thorn underneath her deceptive rose. Though, Kotori didn’t like to think the worst of people.

   Aika returned her hands to herself, “Thank you,” she said, “and since we’re talking…”

   “Yes?” Kotori blinked owlishly.

   “May I have a moment of your time? I would like to borrow you for a project, if possible.” Aika said.

   Kotori’s heart fluttered, “I, um, sure, what is it first?” Her helpful nature spoke for her first before waiting for the rest of her brain.

   “I would like you to do some modelling for me. I was actually on my way to discuss borrowing someone from the photography club but… I believe seeing you this afternoon was quite serendipitous because your hair…” Aika’s voice trailed off as she tilted her head to the right so she may better admire the gloss and shine of Kotori’s hair as it caught sunbeams through the window they were beside. “It's perfect to complement my arrangement.”

   Oh, Kotori thought to herself, that didn’t sound hard at all. Or that risky. In fact, she felt quite flattered as her heart began to thump in her chest. She didn’t consider herself all that pretty and Aika was only choosing her because she cared about her flowers more but still. This sounded like quite the opportunity to indulge.

   “It would be my pleasure, Aika.” Kotori replied.

   “Appreciated.” Aika said. “When can you come in?”

   Kotori hummed thoughtfully for a minute as she went through her schedule in her head and tada, what do you know? It was not that jam-packed. She shrugged apologetically.

   “Tomorrow maybe?” she replied. “I’m helping out at the study and homework centre this afternoon and was on my way there now but tomorrow I’m free.”

   “Aah, my lucky day.” Aika squealed as she clasped her hands together. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

   “Yup, see you tomorrow.” Kotori replied.

   “And don’t worry, I’ll have everything you need so you just come in as your lovely little self.” Aika said.

   “Got it.” Kotori nodded. “See you then.”

   Aika took a step back and bowed politely to Kotori. Gratitude all but radiated off her. Kotori did the same, though not quite to the same extent, then excused herself but she had to admit.

   She was kind of excited for tomorrow now. It really did sound fun! More fun than algebra at the very least. So, Kotori headed off and, pleased that she didn’t have to go all the way to the photography club, Aika decided to return to the flower arrangement club. 

   That afternoon, Kotori did her best to help out in the study and homework centre. Though, was a little air-headed, preoccupied with thoughts on how she was going to shampoo and condition her hair later. Yuma, the study buddy who needed her assistance, complained that she was the one who didn’t have her head in the game for once.

   She just couldn’t help herself but it was worth it the next day when Aika saw Kotori at the flower arrangement clubroom. 

   Aika’s demure smile when Kotori showed up on her doorstep, the way her eyes lit up, Kotori noticed every aspect of her demeanour as she warmly let her inside. She was clearly pleased with Kotori - and her selection of her for the sake of her flowers.

   “Thank you so much for coming, Kotori, I really appreciate it.” Aika said.

   “It’s my pleasure, really.” Kotori insisted.

   “You’ll be eating your words once you see what a tyrant I am.” Aika joked.

   Kotori shivered. Her skin prickled as Aika laughed.

   “Now, if you would be so kind. I did my best to prepare a kimono for you ahead of time. I had to estimate your sizes but hopefully, it suffices.” Aika said.

   She gestured the kimono that she was talking about and Kotori gasped. It was gorgeous. It was mature and elegant, it matched her hair and had the slightest pink dotting to indicate cherry blossoms, or so she would guess.

   “I couldn’t.” Kotori said. “It looks expensive and-”

   “You can and you will.” Aika doubled down. “Do you need any help to get into it?”

   “Probably, I haven’t worn a kimono without my mother and grandmother helping, like, ever.” Kotori said.

   “I see.” Aika said and she chuckled pityingly. 

   Kotori blushed and held her breath. She handed herself over to Aika since she clearly knew what she was doing. Kotori did the broad strokes of it, of course, and in privacy behind a silk screen but Aika did the fiddly bits. She adjusted the brocade and of course the sash.

   “Tell me if its too tight.” Aika whispered behind her.

   “O-Of course.” Kotori said.

   Her heart was practically hammering out of her chest as Aika did up the obi. Her movements were measured and precise, just to make it fit like it was meant to have always belonged to Kotori. Kotori felt absolutely lavished and pampered by all the attention as Aika knotted firmly but not so firmly Kotori couldn’t breathe. Though she was struggling with her breath for other reasons…

   “You look good in it.” Aika said. “Thank you for your cooperation.”

   “Well, um, you make it very easy. I swear, it's a very different story when my Mum and Nan do it.” Kotori replied.

   “I don’t doubt it.” Aika said. “Now, come this way. Please follow me.”

   “Anything you say.” Kotori chirped.

   Here it was.

   The hard part.

   She was all dolled up and now she actually had to participate in Aika’s project.

   Kotori clopped along in the geta she had been provided. She felt unbalanced in them and envied how easily Aika walked on her own. She was taken to the inner stage of the tea ceremony room and Aika positioned her next to the shelving. All of it appropriately selected for the occasion of having her picture taken - and showing off the splendid arrangement that Aika had done ahead of time.

   When Kotori saw it, she gasped. There was something striking about the ceramic vase and the summer clippings. She didn’t know a darn thing about flower arrangement but even she was struck by the poignancy of it. It felt like a testament to the summer solstice and the festivals that celebrated it.

   “Like it?” Aika asked humbly.

   “I love it.” Kotori said. “And you think I can help with, um, uh… what is your project?”

   “I’m glad you asked. The class rep became aware of a photography challenge I might be interested in and so, I am doing my best to put my best foot forward so I can attain the glory of being in a monthly gardening magazine.” Aika said.

   “Wow, that’s so cool. I hope you get in.” Kotori gasped.

   “Thank you, Kotori.” Aika said. “Now, if you don’t mind…”

   Aika began to micromanage every aspect of Kotori and her pose. She undid her hair, she arranged Kotori’s hair by strands, all but individually deciding where they should go. She pushed her shoulders back, shuffled her left and then right and then left again. Kotori felt as though she were going to trip on her own toes as Aika paid dividends on her previous threat: she really was a tyrant when it came to the artist.

   A full fifteen minutes later though, with every nice and neat and most important of all perfect, it was worth it.

   Now, Kotori could hold the pis-de-resistance of the photograph: another clipping.

   “It’s not just your hair, dear,” Aika murmured, “but your hands too. They are perfect for holding.”

   Kotori swallowed.

   She felt her cheeks burn and she tried to suppress it. She didn’t want to make Aika wait any longer than she had to so she could get this shot of her that she had worked so hard to make.

   Aika drew forth another, dried soba flower for Kotori to hold. She gently inserted it between Kotori’s fingers and placed her hands along it as though she were holding a koto rather than a long sprig of the white, summer flower.

   “You are beautiful, my dear.” Aika murmured to her, petal soft.

   “Thank you, Aika…” Kotori simpered, appreciative.

   “Alright, I’m ready to take your photo now.” Aika said.

   Kotori didn’t move a muscle but did hum in acknowledgement. Aika stepped back and she looked so out of place holding a handheld camera in her older garb. She watched as dust mites floated in the sepia sunbeams that came through the window in sharp shafts. They illuminated Kotori, dyeing her in the shades of an umber summer.

   Satisfied with her model, the lighting and the pose, Aika wielded her camera delicately and then… click! Click, click, click. She wasn’t so self-absorbed to assume she would get the ideal shot straight away but one of them would be the one, she just knew it.

   “Thank you, Kotori, at ease.”

   Kotori let go of her breath shakily and felt relief immediately. She let go of her pose, too.

   Aika stepped forward again and she reached out. She caressed Kotori’s cheek and her eyes flicked up. The contact that their eyes made, it was warm and balmy. Aika wiped a bead of sweat away on Kotori’s cheekbone then her hand snaked down.

   Kotori felt her breath get stolen away as briefly, naively, she thought that Aika was going to take her sprig of soba flower off her but no.

   Her fingers closed around Kotori’s wrist and Aika bowed her head. Her forehead brushed against Kotori’s hand as Aika breathed on her: a singular exhale which scattered over the skin of Kotori’s inner wrist. Kotori swallowed as she felt herself aroused - and all too aware of just how close Aika was to kissing her veins.

   “Yes, perfect hands for holding flowers.” she flirted.

   She had to be flirting. Kotori couldn’t think of any other explanation as she got flustered.

   “A-Aika…” she exclaimed.

   “Yes, Kotori…?” Aika answered and she looked up.

   Her tone of voice and her serious eyes, she was all too aware - and gaming - the fact that Kotori had a crush on her. Though, to be fair, Kotori was all too aware of her crush too, for all the few seconds it had existed as they shared this slow and unconventional skinship.

[stormyoceans]

i’m rewatching and i still don’t know how this show exists or what kind of drugs were the writers on, but i’m so glad they were lmao and they have enough for our skyy 2 episodes. Any thoughts about 1) empty cinema scene, 2) talay’s foggy glasses kiss, 3) grafitti library scene, ‘Do you want me to live with you or do you want something 18+’ unhinged daydream, 4) wedding scene, 5) puen reading shojo manga, 6) why they should stop eating so much junk food, 7) snow scene? Sorry this got too long. I just love your thoughts about them so much!

Have an awesome day!

(one day i’ll come off anon, im just too shy and awkward lmao)

[peaks timidly from my inbox] yes hello i come asking for forgiveness ;;;;;; i really am so terribly sorry for how late this answer is, anon, i've been so all-over the place in the few past weeks and wrote this here and there whenever i needed to feel better, which probably means it's even more scattered and less coherent than usual ;;;;; not sure if you're still around or even just still interested in this, but i wanted to reply to you anyway, so here we go!!!

1) empty cinema scene: ONE OF THE MOST UNDERRATED SCENES IN THE ENTIRE SHOW IM SO HAPPY YOU MENTIONED IT BECAUSE WE DON’T TALK NEARLY ENOUGH ABOUT IT!!!!! literally the proof that no one can cheer talay up and get him out of his own head like puen does!!!! talay's ridiculously fond smile as puen pretends the cinema is full of people, the way he actually plays along with it after the initial 'what the hell are you doing' reaction.... we always make fun of puen for being down bad BUT GOD TALAY IS SO SMITTEN TOO he sees puen tearing up while watching the movie (THEIR movie) and his first instinct is to gently wipe away those tears LIKE IF THAT DOESN'T MAKE YOU WANT TO BITE YOUR OWN ARM OFF AND FEED IT TO THE WOLVES THEN I ENVY YOU TBH. and the most insane thing is that at the time he didn’t even know he was in love with puen, he hadn’t realized it yet, while puen was already fully aware of his own feelings for talay. puen who, during the voice over, says "it's you. if it wasn't for you, this movie wouldn't have happened. without you, my screenplay wouldn't be this good", which parallels what he tells talay at the end of episode 4, "if it's not you, i wouldn't be able to work this well". and looking back at it, i really feel like it shouldn't have surprised me so much to learn that puen realized he was in love with talay at the glass house, because he was basically shouting it from the rooftops. "which scene is your favorite?" talay asks him. "the last scene where both of them meet again in the coffee shop," puen answers, because "i went there with you". it's you. it can't be anyone but you. i love you, i love you, i love you. IM TRULY NEVER GONNA GET TIRED OF SAYING HOW THEY INVENTED PARALLELISM ROMANTICISM SOULMATISM ALSO NOT THEM BEING SO ENTHRALLED BY EACH OTHER THEY DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE THAT UP AND AOU WERE THERE TOO PEOPLE IN LOVE ARE THE WORST

2) talay’s foggy glasses kiss: NO THOUGHTS HEAD EMPTY AND EVEN IF I HAD ANY I WOULD KEEP THEM BETWEEN ME AND GOD BECAUSE THEY SURE AS HELL WOULDN'T BE FOR PUBLIC CONSUMPTION. like i make fun of puen for being horny all the time but also i get it. if talay confessed to have been in love with me since the very first time we met by using a very similar line i liked from a movie we watched together years ago all while looking so warm and cuddly in an oversized sweater, i would feel compelled to kiss him senseless too. also not to be petty, but as much as people like to say jimmysea can't kiss, this is the only time i can fully believe a make out session left a character breathless, with weak knees, and a little turned on like THE FOGGY GLASSES, TALAY'S LIPS ALL RED FROM KISSING, HIS HAIR MESSED UP FROM PUEN'S HANDS RUNNING THROUGH IT, HIS EYES COMPLETELY GLAZED OVER...... REARRANGED MY GUTS MY SOUL MY ENTIRE LIFE AND EVERYTHING I EVER THOUGHT I KNEW THE SPECTRE OF THE PERSON I WAS WHEN I FIRST SAW THIS KISS HAUNTS MY EVERY WAKING MOMENT THEY REALLY DID THE MOST

3.a) grafitti library scene: PAIN SUFFERING TORMENT AGONY ANGUISH BUT ALSO THE TENSION THE UNDERCURRENT THE WHOLE ENTIRE EVERYTHING OF IT ALL I HATE TO SEE THEM FIGHT BUT GOD I LOVE THIS SCENE I REALLY DO. i just think it's such an important moment, character-wise, and it's also the first big turning point in their relationship, just like the separation in episode 6 is, because the conflict is actually functional to their growth, especially puen's. puen is already so deeply in love here, but it's so painfully obvious that he has no idea how to go about it and that he is still struggling to find himself, so he defaults to what he knows, to being puen the actor, and that's what he ends up putting on, an act, a big over the top romantic one that could have come out from a movie, but even if the feelings behind it are genuine, the gesture itself isn't, and talay KNOWS, because puen is the kind of person that quietly waits outside his university all day just to spend a little more time with him, not the one that makes a spectacle out of it. this is what makes talay finally snap, because while we see him being very confused about his feelings throughout the episode, and very doubtful about puen's too, you can see that part of him did believe in puen's sincerity ("lately, someone has done something nice to me," talay says to dol a little later in the episode, "so nice that i thought he was serious"), which is why it hurts so much to see talay's crestfallen expression when he asks puen "so all you've done is for your screenwriting?" (and since we're talking about it SEA'S ACTING HERE IS SO GOOD AND YET SO UNDERRATED IM EATING MY FIST) and puen doesn't realize how upset talay really is until it's too late, until he tries to explain and maybe even confess something ("im not messing with you. i--") but talay doesn't want to listen anymore. however this rejection is essential to make puen understand that he has to stop hiding under puen the actor and start being puen the person if he wants to be with talay. this is a long process that will only end in episode 10, when he'll finally be ready to tell talay his name, but this was the first step towards it: as misguided as the kiss in the glass house is, it's also the moment where puen stops playing a role and starts following his feelings. i honestly don't think it's a coincidence that in this episode the password used for the association is "you're not a movie. you are real."

3.b) ‘Do you want me to live with you or do you want something 18+’ unhinged daydream: PEAK DERANGED PUEN MOMENT HE REALLY SAID LET ME ADMIT OUT LOUD ALL THE ROMANTIC DOMESTIC HALF HORNY FANTASIES I'VE EVER HAD ABOUT YOU. IM PRETTY SURE THAT IF TALAY DIDN'T STOP HIM HE REALLY WOULD HAVE GONE INTO FULL 18+ NSFW XXX TERRITORY THERE IS JUST NOT A SINGLE OUNCE OF SHAME IN THIS BOY'S BODY AND YET TALAY STILL THINKS HE’S DOING IT FOR THE BIT. INSANITY LUNACY MADNESS AND PEOPLE WONDER WHY HAVE I GONE CRAZY. on a more serious note, i already said it before, but i absolutely love how the talay in puen's daydreams is just like the real talay, so much so that we could hardly tell that what we were seeing wasn't actually what was happening, because it shows that puen loves him as he is, warts and all, and that in puen's head their relationship turning into a romantic one wouldn't change who they are or how they interact with each other: they would still bicker and banter and be friends, and that's one of the things i love the most about them. ALSO ALL THE DETAILS IN PUEN'S FANTASY ACTUALLY BECOMING TRUE MAKES ME WANT TO RIP MY HEART OUT AND EAT IT BUT LET'S NOT GO THERE

4) wedding scene: I HAVE MULTIPLE ORGANS FAILURE EVERY TIME I REWATCH THIS SCENE POSSIBLY BECAUSE THEIR OUTFITS HERE ARE MY FAVORITE FOR BOTH OF THEM IN THE ENTIRE SHOW BUT MAINLY BECAUSE PUEN IS REALLY OUT THERE JUST SAYING SHIT LIKE "I SHOULD JUST MARRY A COLORIST" IN EPISODE 4!!!!!! BOY HAS JUST REALIZED HE'S IN LOVE LIKE 2 DAYS AGO AND IS ALREADY PLANNING THEIR WEDDING IN HIS HEAD!!!!!! also i adore how the writers use this specific setting to let us know the characters' current attitude towards love: puen talking about getting married and having a partner vs talay being focused on working on the video, puen catching the bouquet with no fear vs talay shielding himself from it.... THIS IS WHY I DESPERATELY NEED THE PUENTALAY WEDDING IN OUR SKYY I /NEED/ P'X TO GIVE ME THIS PARALLEL IT WOULD SIMPLY BE SO DELICIOUS. and not to be that person but fucking raw in that venue right then and there would have been less obscene than the looks they be throwing at each other while puen tells the entire room he is hitting on talay and then gives him the bouquet. jimmysea really be showing up on set every day like we're gonna display so much adoration desire yearning and love through the look in our eyes alone AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH FOR IT

5) puen reading shojo manga: OF COURSE PUEN WOULD LOVE SHOUJO WHEN HE IS SO INTO LOVE AND ROMANCE IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE AND IT'S HONESTLY SO ADORABLE I HOPE TALAY BUYS HIM AN ENTIRE LIBRARY FOR HIM TO FILL WITH ALL HIS FAVORITE MANGA. and i think it's interesting to point out that shoujo, much like the color pink, is something that has been forcefully connected to a whole set of 'feminine' characteristics that society tells men are off-limits for them: men don't need to be caring and sweet and romantic and cute.... but puen is very much all of these things, and maybe his reticence in admitting he likes shoujo is yet another way he hides his real self away because he's scared not to be liked, which makes talay's genuine interest all the more important. also we tend to associate shoujo with romance, but the three more common narrative themes in the genre are a focus on human relations and emotions, characters that defy traditional roles and stereotypes surrounding gender and sexuality, and depictions of supernatural and paranormal subjects. IDK ABOUT YOU BUT THAT SOUNDS VERY FAMILIAR TO ME

6) why they should stop eating so much junk food: THIS MAKES ME LAUGH SO MUCH EVERY TIME I READ IT BUT ALSO I REALLY DO HOPE THEY’RE SNEAKING SOME VEGETABLES IN BETWEEN ALL THE CHIPS AND FRIED CHICKEN AND PREMADE NOODLES AND DIFFERENT KIND OF SWEETS OR THEY’RE GONNA GET A HEART ATTACK BEFORE THE AGE OF 40 (thank god for the 0% sugar oishi drink at least sfjkshfkgs). also not me suddenly getting choked up at the thought of the two of them getting to 50 years old and finding out that talay’s pressure tends to get too high so puen studies a proper diet for it and makes sure talay follows it scrupulously NOT ME THINKING ABOUT OLD PUENTALAY GROWING VEGETABLES IN THEIR GARDEN AND REMINDING EACH OTHER TO TAKE THEIR MEDS EXCUSE ME FOR A SECOND I NEED TO GO WALK INTO TRAFFIC REAL QUICK YEAH NO BRB

7) snow scene: there are honestly many things i could talk about in this scene ("when you see snow again next time you will think of me", puen and talay having to play the characters, puen kissing talay's cheek, talay saying he doesn't like to be hugged, the freaking shaved ice made with snow and the oishi drink) BUT THE ONLY THING I CAN THINK ABOUT IS "YOU MUST ONLY BE HAPPY TALAY" LIKE IM SORRY BUT ISABELLE ADJANI GOING TITS OUT INSANE IN THE TUNNEL SCENE FROM POSSESSION HAS NOTHING ON WHAT I FEEL ABOUT THIS LINE IT'S IN MY TOP 10 MOST ROMANTIC PUEN'S LINES AND IT DRIVES ME CRAZY IN WAYS I CAN'T REALLY EXPLAIN AND I WISH I COULD SAY ANYTHING COHERENT ABOUT IT BUT RN THERE ARE JUST AMBULANCE SIRENS GOING OFF IN MY HEAD

[ckret2]

are you going to put your mystery shack on the gallery when you finish it? and did you use a lot of cc for it?

(for anyone who missed it, we're talking about this Sims 4 build.)

Eventually, yeah! Though I'm not quite finished with it yet. There's a few more things I wanna fix up first. I'll put them under a cut since it's a long list lol.

But the build actually uses zero CC! I actually started building the shack as a way to pass the time on patch days so that I could have a CC-free project to work on whenever I'm wait for all my mods to get updated lmfao. Even the paintings of Bill aren't flagged as CC. (I used in-game objects to create a big architectural structure that looks like Bill, maxed Ford's painting skill, and sent him to go paint the scenery.)

Incidentally, if you want to have a couple of Authentic No-CC In-Game Bill Cipher Paintings, I HAVE put those up on the gallery:

Sorry the preview image sucks. I do not control how the gallery puts up preview images.

(I thiiiiiink I've also put up a couple of yes-CC Bill Cipher paintings that nevertheless still work in-game without you have it to download anything? They look like the actual tapestry in Mabelcorn. But you've gotta turn on the "allow CC" flag when searching the gallery to see them.)

Some of the objects were placed using the TOOL mod—for instance, that RoM rug I stuck on the wall to serve as the Portal—but objects placed with TOOL will stay put even if you don't have TOOL, so you won't need it to download the shack and use it as-is and it won't be flagged as CC when it's uploaded to the gallery.

And the things I still need to fix, off the top of my head:

I'm gonna replace the bookcases in Ford's study with the new bookcases from the book nook kit, so that the books on the shelves will look a bit more diverse.

In the show, there's a spiral staircase to nowhere in Ford's study. I'm gonna put a ladder in that spot and connect it to an extra bathroom. For the size of this build, it's got way too few bathrooms.

And on that note: outhouse. The shack needs its outhouse.

I've gotta rearrange the position of Stan's bedroom and the attic window seat. When I originally put the window seat in the build, I was going off Headhunters where it seemed to be on one end of the house; but from later episodes it seems more accurate to put the window seat on the side of the house (as the window under the roof hangout spot).

I found some better screenshots of the main bathroom, so I've gotta fix it up—put the toilet in the correct spot, add its second mirror, etc.

I need to finalize the route to the roof hangout spot. The show has the characters climb on the roof to get to it, which just isn't an option in the sims; so trying to find a route up that still looks kinda canon-accurate has been giving me trouble for the whole build.

I wanna shuffle around the position of the basement rooms a little bit so that the elevator entrance doesn't feel quite so cramped.

Now that we got some brand new functional backpacks and lunchboxes in game, I wanna drop them in the attic for Dipper and Mabel to use.

I might change the gift shop up a bit. Right now I've got all the "for sale" souvenirs on a big wooden display cabinet, and it looks very nice; buuut it's not canon accurate, it's supposed to be a glass display case. And I AM trying to be canon accurate. Even if the wooden display cabinet looks nicer.

I'm not quite sure if uploading a fishbowl full of fish to the library will keep the fish in that bowl, but just in case it does, I wanna have Mabel go catch a lobster and put it in the fish tank (to parallel the lobster she gets in The Hand That Rocks The Mabel). Too bad there's no axolotls in TS4.

Similarly, I'm not quite sure if items stolen by kleptomaniac sims retain those "stolen item" flags when uploaded to the gallery; but just in case they do, I wanna make a Gleeful household just so that Stan can steal their sad clown painting to hang in the living room lmfao.

Now that we can paint ceilings, I've gotta paint ALL THE CEILINGS!

I got like six packs/kits just to use a few extra items in the Mystery Shack build lmfao, so I've gotta go through all those items with a fine-tooth comb to see if they can replace any items I currently have.

I've been putting off placing a lot of columns/corbels/rafters until the end, since while I was still shifting around the rooms they just got in the way. Now's the time to finish that.

I think I'm gonna redo how I handle the door to the cellar, TOOL mod willing, to make it more accurate and less wonky-looking.

I've been playing in the house a little bit to test it, so I've gotta do some housecleaning before we're ready to upload to the gallery: wash the dishes, mop up the mess Mabel made in the floor room, pick up the seed packets the gnomes tossed all over the place...

When I first made the shack, I actually started with somebody else's build I found on the gallery, and then went "wait this is inaccurate as hell and kind of sucks, all the rooms look wrong and the layout is VERY wrong," and I basically bulldozed it piece by piece to remake it myself. But because I started with someone else's build, it still retains an "originally made by this other guy" flag when I save the lot. This annoys me. So I've gotta find a way to get rid of that flag before uploading to the gallery.

[libracorpvs]

"I urge you to think very carefully, not sloppily, on this issue. Lives are at stake.

Yes, social isolation is one risk factor for suicide. We agree on that; we disagree on how this should be interpreted and applied.

The typical trans narrative looks like this: because social isolation is a risk factor for suicide, we must all rearrange society and bypass our instincts to make sure trans people feel included everywhere, even at the expense of safeguarding women and children, and other human rights issues.

But how far can this be carried out? Some trans rights activists (TRAs) would take this so far as to say that lesbians should accept males as partners. Is this what we’re willing to give up in the name of “inclusion” so this special class of victims doesn’t die of suicide?

And how can this be compared to parallel issues? In therapy, when we have patients struggling to feel accepted and loved, do we always hold their social environment accountable and reinforce the narrative everyone else is to blame for their feelings of rejection? Or, do we hold our patients at least somewhat responsible for how their choices affect their social lives? Are there times when we must challenge or temper their expectations of others, or help them discover ways to make themselves more appealing as potential friends, partners, or employees?

The truth is, trans people do face social isolation, and higher rates of singleness and childlessness. Their dating pool is substantially narrower, and comprised in large part by people with fetishes. Their capacity for sexual functioning or pleasure is often altered or destroyed by the medical procedures they’ve endured. Many have lost their fertility and are therefore not eligible partners for those looking for someone to have children with naturally. Oftentimes, according to the current models of healthcare I object to, this fertility was sacrificed at young ages, despite the fact we have zero evidence base for the assumption that people can accurately predict in youth whether they will want children by midlife. All of these are reasons that I take the stance I do. Why should we allow doctors to give drugs and surgeries to people that limit their relationship and family potentials when we know relationships and family play such a huge role in wellbeing and reduce the lifetime risk of suicide?

I am simply unwilling to accept the sloppy, daft thinking behind the idea that the social isolation trans people face is (a) everyone else’s fault or responsibility, (b) not a reason to think twice about promoting transition, and c) a reason we should all be celebrating trans-ness. I argue that the latter creates a social incentive for identifying trans, and encourages more people to put themselves in this same exact position, with these same risk factors. I am more concerned that the social isolation factor needs the sort of complex analysis I’ve given it here. It should not be weaponized to silence critics like myself.

The long term suicide risk of postoperative transsexuals has been found to be upwards of 19 times higher than age matched peers. If social isolation as a suicide risk factor could really be reduced to matters of identity-based intolerance, then we’d see similar suicide rates amongst all marginalized, oppressed, or persecuted peoples. But we don’t see that. We see resilience. Throughout history humans have endured much greater hardships, and not on the basis of belonging to a category one could simply choose to opt in to, and use the latest first-world medical technologies to inflict upon themselves. If “trans” as an identity is really so persecuted, why are people choosing it anyway? When Jews were persecuted in WW2, they hid their identities to survive. I’d be curious to see the suicide rates amongst people facing such levels of historical hardship. Can we really truly attribute suicidality to oppression, and make a sound case that the solution is to push acceptance, no matter the cost to other human rights, and even if “trans” is glamorized in the process, leading to more people opting into this permanently medicalized category of synthetic sex identities?

Social isolation is just one risk factor, though a big one. We need to also factor in the role of illness, injury, and incapacity in increasing the risk of suicide. Trans related medical “care” is full of iatrogenic harms. I argue it is incredibly irresponsible to inflict optional, medically unnecessary, iatrogenically harmful procedures on people with young, healthy bodies, whose young minds cannot possibly grasp what this entails for their futures. Try living with chronic pelvic pain, chest pain or numbness from lost breasts, bladder infections, an exposed and enlarged clitoris that rubs against your pants all day, being forced to do painful dilations daily in order to keep a wound open, the flesh of your arm missing, or peeing through a plastic tube that keeps getting infected… trust me this is just the tip of the iceberg. It’s painful, costly, debilitating, and humiliating. It leads to increased risk of opiate addiction, starting with prescribed post-surgical painkillers. I believe doctors have stepped way outside of the bounds of medicine and should not be doing these things to anyone.

So don’t blame the likes of me for the social isolation trans people face, or the higher lifetime risk of suicide in those who’ve followed through with these supposedly “life saving” procedures. Don’t try to force males on lesbians and into women’s sports, locker rooms, bathrooms and prisons. Think honestly about human nature and what most people want in terms of love, partnership, family, life, and health. Think about the fragile mental state of the young and vulnerable, and how long life is, and how little capacity we have at age 12 or 20 to anticipate our futures. Consider whether we should really be normalizing or glamorizing such a novel and debilitating lifestyle, given what’s at stake."

- Stephanie Winn

[zeroducks-2]

I'm back to ask about your wips again 👀 What's Clipped about? Oh oh and Omegaverse Royal AU with Rastim 💕

So the Omegaverse Royal AU is this one, but where it says "Rastim" it's actually a spin-off (or maybe I should say a parallel story? IDK that's what a spin-off is after all, but I wrote everything together and then separated the bits) about what's happening with Tim. I mention in that post that Ra's shows up because he wants a piece of the cake, and in this case the cake involves the Drake estates which 14 yo Tim is set to inherit when he's old enough. Case in point, he's too young for a recognized union of any kind. He presented as an Omega just a few months prior to these events, but by law he's not old enough for an official mating or to inherit anything. Also, King Alexander is not happy with the Al Ghuls coming over and going like "ah yes haha this is mine actually", "oh sure I will take this other one instead". All of this is however not going to stop Ra's from getting what he wants :)

"Clipped" instead is a veeeeeery old WIP. It's the very first DC darkfic I've ever written! I probably posted a couple of snippets here and there but never the entire thing because it's on hiatus, and who knows if I'll ever finish it. I wrote it after reading Future State (more than a year ago), and it's in fact a Future State inspired situation where vigilantes are outlawed so severely that some get executed publicly, some kept locked away for experiments on their meta-genes if they have any, and in general it's not a good situation especially since the Bats and Birds have had their identities revealed to the press. They're forced to live separated and in constant hiding, all linked through Oracle (which is not a single person at this point but a "vigilante-friendly group" lead by Babs) while they try not to get caught by authorities for who knows what.

In this picture, Deathstroke became some sort of vigilante hunter. He's allowed to be free and do whatever he wants (and his kids have some degree of immunity as well, or anyway they're relatively safe), but in exchange he hunts down, captures and "deals" with rogue metas and "former heroes". Which means that some get sent to governamental facilities to be brainwashed rehabilitated, some get publicly executed as mentioned, and some just... "disappear". It took Slade literal years, but finally he got his hands on a good chunk of the flock of birds (Damian, Dick, Tim and Jason). The thing is. Slade is a mental sadistic creep in this one, and before he does anything even remotely helpful, he's going to break the kids to little pieces and then rearrange them as he sees fit.

The story features (or anyway should feature) Dark!Sladin in almost all its shapes. It was really fun to explore how the kids deal with the situation, because Tim took the months of torture of his life and eventually decided to try and follow the rules to limit the damage, Jason instead had a mental breakdown and decided that he'd going to get himself killed again (not going to be easy to make Slade slip though). Damian doesn't grasp the gravity of the situation, and Dick is just desperate to do literally anything to help the others. But again, I'm not surem I will ever even publish it. I might end up posting it incomplete just cuz.

[beevean]

Top 5 of your most shameful ships from your fav pieces of media

oof. The one question that I am still ashamed to answer on main... :P

Well, whatever, I'm a freak. Under the cut to pretend I still have some dignity:

5) Baroryuu (Great Ace Attorney): it got far more popular recently which I'm very grateful for, but I did not forget the sheer vitriol against it and against Barok when the game came out. Sorry if I think their character development is sublime and I got teareyed when Barok started being so nice to Ryuu, saying stuff like "You are a lawyer of boundless talent" and "I believe that you saved my life" :') also I never believed that the 9 year age gap was a big deal? 24 and 33 are both consenting adults, especially in the context of the year 1900 in which the game takes place in. Please don't infantilize Ryuu, I love him just as much as Barok.

4) Jaspis (Steven Universe): says something about me that I despise Lapidot but like this one a lot. Also I can exploit a quirk in the Stevenverse and look for fics tagged Malachite if I want more of their sweet sweet toxic relationship, to avoid all the fluffy stuff I have no interested in :D but yeah, their dynamic was tragically cut short by the story. I loved the reveal that all that time, it was Lapis abusing Jasper, the cute waifish Gem taking all of her anger and resentment against the last person who dared to treat her like an object... and it just so happens that Jasper has such a warped sense of self worth that she liked being abused, and begged Lapis to come back, because she was so enamored with her power (and Malachite's - "we can fly!" aww). This was a kids show!

3) Sagamaji (Yakuza 0): yes, I really looked at that sleazy 50 something old man lording his power over the poor 24 yo who would do anything to protect his kyoudai, and immediately jumped to the most obvious conclusion. I am trash. I also might have felt something other than fear at the scene where Sagawa chokes Majima in the public toilet. But considering that I found dozens upon dozens of fics with the same premise of "Sagawa forces Majima to Do Stuff because he can", I'm glad I'm not alone, at least. I also like Kazumaji quite a lot, one of my favorite Gay Rival ships even, but that one's super duper popular 😂

2) Isaavor (Castlevania): damn you Stabbing scene, you really rearranged my whole braincells. Not that I also don't like Isaactor in its beautiful tragedy, but in this case, I am stuck between the Western fandom who deadass ignores it, except for one (1) fic I stumbled upon in a kink meme page, and the Japanese fandom who adores it but simply because they find both Trevor and Isaac hot. And I get it, I truly do. But... my parallels... my bonding... my sass... there is Something here, I feel it... like yes it's a crack ship and I love joking about Isaac having Thoughts 👀 about that whip (and those tiddies on trevor's chest), but I don't know, I think they have more chemistry than it looks.

Sonegg (Sonic): DeviantART did a number on me when I was 13. Age gap? Who cares! They want to kill each other really badly? Yeah, isn't that very sexy of them <3 there's only so much attitude Sonic can give Eggman before it looks like he wants to get dem eggs for himself. Plus, all the planning that went into analyzing Sonic to create Metal, hmm, Eggy? 👀 much like Isaavor, I'm stuck in this weird place where I recognize it's a crack ship and I mostly joke about it, but also, they're both foils of each other, they're interwoven as archnemesis, they're more similar than they let on... they have chemistry. Not a cute loving chemistry, but who needs it? :P