#yes i live with my parents don't @ me about it
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I overheard one of my "female" students being he/him'd and different name'd by one of his friends.
And the friend that this is, I knew 110% this wasn't some kind of teasing or anything. I know these kids, and this wasn't some joking name calling.
This was the second to final week of school, so I didn't have a lot of time. And so I had a chat to a few fellow teachers (being vague), asking for advice.
So, I got the student and his friend and took them outside (you aren't in trouble), and said that I wanted to talk to "you, and [redacted] is here as your support person so that I'm not talking to you one on one. But you can tell me to shut up and go away at any point, or tell her to go away if you don't want her in the convo"
And, in the most age appropriate way, I had that conversation. These kids are 12. And, I present as a gay man, at school, I'm not out as trans. And I probably never will be. But I rode the line of telling him that - in my experience, people are generally welcoming (and I know the school is as we have two trans kids currently, because we are a small school I implied we had previously had trans kids - so that I was not explicitly saying they were at school and therefore would be leading to outing them).
He said he was mostly worried about telling his parents. And I shared my experiences, again riding the line of outing myself as trans (and forcing these two students to know that secret). I let them interpret that "I was scared when I came out to my parents, but I knew I couldn't live a 60+year lie" as just the gay, not the trans.
But it communicated what I wanted it to.
I've met this kid's parents at parent teacher interviews, and I don't think anything could stop them supporting and rooting for their kids. And I said this.
But. I also said "this is hard". And "you don't have to do this now". "Yes, it would be helpful to sort out over the holidays, and then your new teachers next year can start off with correct name and gender and not have to relearn part way through the year". "But".
"this is hard".
And, I try not to (I try to), but one of my biggest strengths and weaknesses as a teacher is that I see myself in these students. I see the smart girl who is bored out of her mind, and the distracted boy who is staring out the window, and the quiet one who is overwhelmed by the noise, and the kid who can't ask for help because they've always been The Best.
I see the awkward autistic/ADHD "girl". Who is one of the smartest kids in the room, but simultaneously desperate for approval and terrified of mistakes. I see the kid that is never comfortable in their own body. But, I also see the kid who has a great friendship group who would do anything for them.
I see the kid who can appreciate the sacrifices of their past, and the hope of their future.
The Ghost of Christmas Past shows up and youâre like, âOhhhhh for fuckâs sake,â but youâre in your childhood bedroom so itâs kind of on you. The ghost seems offended. She crosses her arms. She looks like you used to, with the pigtails.
âNo way,â you say. âDonât start.â
âI am theââ
âThe Ghost of Christmas Past, I know, I know.â Because she looks like you, and itâs Christmas Eve, so what else. Your parents used to read you the story every year. Even when you were old enough to read on your own, it was better in your dadâs voice.
âYou came home for your parents,â the ghost says, solemn. âItâs time to tell them.â
âNo, like, âwhen youâre readyâ?â
âYou are ready,â she says, âor you wouldnât have come back.â
Which is so stupid, because you werenât on the moon, you were at college, and itâs only been two months of shots, you donât even have a mustache. âFucking leave me alone,â you say, so she does the ghost thing and takes you to a ten-years-ago Christmas. The living room. Your parents. Your fledgling self on the carpet with your stocking, the one you canât look at anymore because when you were a baby your parents patiently hand-stitched the fucking name.
âMaybe theyâll make you a new one,â says the ghost.
âYou donât know that.â Bullshit ghost powers.
âYou were happier back then. When they knew you.â
âEveryone was happier back then. It was, like, 2008.â
âThere was a recession,â says the ghost.
âShut up! Shut up!â You turn over in bed. For a second you expect to roll onto child-self-you curled up next to you. Probably crush the life out of her. You got good at that. Itâs her bed, her room, pink covers, cat posters.
âThis is so stupid, this Dickens thing,â you say. âIâm not even Christian anymore.â
âTell your parents that second,â the ghost suggests.
âOh my fucking God Iâm not telling them anything canât you go bother Jeff Bezos.â
âIâm just doing my job,â says the ghost, and vanishes.
#
The Ghost of Christmas Present has an acne problem. As soon as you open your eyes you say, âOh my God,â and they say, âHi,â and you say, âYou better not be the fucking Ghost of Christmas Present,â and the Ghost of Christmas Present says, âI am.â
Which you knew.
âWhy me?â you say, pink comforter bunched around your waist. âI didnât do anything. Scrooge was mean to orphans.â
The Ghost of Christmas Present shrugs. âItâs the job.â
âAre you gonna show me my parents now?â
That makes them look kind of embarrassed.
âWell, donât,â you say. If your parents are talking in the other room, huddled up conferencing with the lights off, you canât hear it over the heater buzz. But you can guess what theyâre saying: you went to school with a shitty pixie cut and worse eyeliner, and you came back with a real haircut and a permanent frown and a bunch of new friends you play sentence Twister to avoid pronouning. âI know theyâre nice people, I got it. Iâm just not ready.â
âItâs justâyouâre kind of waiting for them to ask?â says the Ghost of Christmas Present. They scratch their face, where they have spectral sideburns coming in. âYour dad thinks you have a head cold. âCause of your voice. But your momâs starting to get it.â
You pull the covers over your head. âCool, awesome, didnât ask.â
âShe isnât going to ask,â the ghost says. âShe wants you to tell her.â
You stick your middle finger out from underneath the covers. When you check, the room is empty again.
#
The Ghost of Christmas Future doesnât say anything. Just looks at you. You look back. You probably have bedhead. You fixed your daytime wardrobe but your pajamas are still lacy and purple.
âHow come youâre a man?â you say.
He says, âI think you know.â
âFuckingâgo away.â
âI have something to show you first.â
âAre we going to the goddamn graveyard?â
He doesnât say anything but then youâre in the goddamn graveyard. Together. Looking at your headstone. The dates are close enough together to make you kind of sick.
âThey went with the full name,â you say.
The ghost nods.
âNot even the nickname. My nice gender neutral nickname.â
The ghost shrugs. You kind of want to throw something at him but youâre just looking at it now. Chiseled in marble. Immovable. Whatâs that thing bigots on the internet say, about someone digging up your jawbone two hundred years from now? You always wanted to think you wouldnât care.
The Ghost of Christmas Futureâs pretty quiet. This is the part where Scrooge goes full breakdown. Tears, begging, promises.
âIâm not gonna cry on you,â you say.
âOkay.â
So neutral. âMan, what do you want me to say?â
âNothing,â says the ghost. âI think youâre there.â
You canât stop looking at the headstone. âGod fucking damnit shit. You promise theyâll be cool?â
âNothingâs promised,â the ghost says. He gestures at the graveyard. âExcept for this.â
âAwesome.â Cryptic cliche philosophical ghost bullshit. Yada yada. Death and taxes. Not with that name on your headstone, though. Not with that name on your tax forms, either.
You turn to tell him that and then youâre blinking in bed. Thereâs still one glow-in-the-dark star stuck to your ceiling where the glue never wore out. You put those up like ten years ago. Maybe longer. The light in the room says itâs morning. You swing your lacy-pajama legs over the side of the bed and go to ruin Christmas.
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Why I react when GMMTV acquires more BL Boys like Pokemon
TLWR: GMMTV is bigger than we think
For the people in the room who don't understand why some of us (aka ME) get concerned every time a new artist is announced at GMMTV, let me explain myself (and capitalism) to you.
I'm talking to you.
Yes, you. No, don't roll your eyes. *gently holds your face in my hands* Look at my face. I'm serious. Look me in my eyes. I understand that you think I'm overacting and being ridiculous, but I want you to know why I keep harping on this. And I'll try to make it quick. I promise.
Remember this scene from Jack & Joker when the rich people were playing a version of Monopoly? And Jack asked if they were "just playing with people's lives"?
That's capitalism.
So what does that have to do with a Thai talent agency?
Well, it's becoming a monopoly. Amazon and Google are considered monopolies. Legally. They have been sued for it. You might think that there is no way a Thai company worth millions is on the same level as two American companies that are worth trillions (yes, trillions), but Amazon and Google didn't start that way.
And neither did The ONE Enterprise which is the parent company of GMMTV, One31, Change2561, and a subsidiary of GMM Grammy (which at one point Nadao Bangkok was under it), plus countless other companies like Parbdee Tawesuk, Atime Media, and Exact.
Google started off as a search engine. Now we have Chromebooks, Google phones, Google software, Google maps, Google shopping, Gmail, and so much more like it owning YouTube. But there are still other companies that have search engines, so no big deal! We can just use those. But the reason Google was sued as a monopoly by the Department of Justice (and won) was because Google makes it very hard to use those other search engines since everything else it owns only allows us to use Google products. Therefore, there is no competition simply because Google has enough power to control what we, as the consumer, see.
But this didn't start overnight.
A lot of other companies who produce Thai QLs exist, just like all those other search engines still exist, but The ONE Enterprise produces the most QLs through its various branch companies. But not only do those companies produce them, they contract other smaller companies like Studio Commuan, Dee Hup House, Trasher Bangkok, Hard Feeling Film, and many more, which is normal, but that means at any given time, at least ~65-75% of the QLs from Thailand are from one company. But, but, but, The ONE Enterprise's channels also sells slots to other companies, so their QLs can be watched on GMM and other channels. And, remember, this enterprise has only existed in this form since 2022.
So in two years, that enterprise has gone from being behind maybe less than half of the QLs to having a hand in at around two-thirds of them if not more, which doesn't include the fact that the actors in those QLs also have concerts, music contracts, and so much more.
Also, the companies with the largest profits in Thailand are from the finance (banking), real estates (hotel), tech, and medical sectors. Yet GMM Grammy is the ONLY entertainment company in the top 250 from Thailand. That doesn't include the other parts of the conglomerate.
I know I'm throwing a lot around and it seems disconnected because I'm trying to not make this too long, but know this, if The ONE Enterprise already has a hand in, at the lowest estimate, 60% of all QLs made in Thailand and continues to acquire more actors like Studio Wabi Sabi's fleet when it restructred, the 40% that is left for everyone else will continue to shrink. Domundi/Mandee has about 25 actors. GMMTV alone has about 150. Smaller companies can get more actors just like GMMTV can, but with what money when they have to pay to air their shows on The ONE Enterprise's channels while The ONE Enterprise's shows get moved behind paywalls internationally which gives it even more money? And with what crew when The ONE Enterprise has the smaller houses on contract plus its own fleet of talent? And with what incentives can these other companies give actors when they don't have the capability of giving them a record deal, a hosting job, a reality show, merch options, and so much more that The ONE Enterprise can because IT. OWNS. EVERYTHING?
And most importantly, what is allowed to be created when these smaller companies have to abide by one company's rules so their shows can air?
Good for these actors going where the money is, but it's worrisome that The ONE Enterprise is *the* place where most of the money is, and it's only existed in this form for two years.
Money is power. QLs are Thailand's soft power, which can and does influence policies, laws, and society which means people's lives. So, once again, if one company has the most QLs, the most actors, and the most money, it has the most power.
And one entity having the most power in any sector is never a good thing.
#uno reverse card#gmmtv is not evil#but it is a company#under a larger company#that owns a lot!#the kids should get their money#but there should not be only one place they can get the money#there should never just be one place#that's a monopoly#it's fun as a game#but not real life#because monopolies control a lot#like what we get to see and know and experience
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There are too mamy itches in my brain. Andreil. Its a peaceful Saturday morning and they're sleeping in, sun just barely filtering through the window as they cuddle together. Neil's pressed against Andrews side and Andrew has an arm around him laying on his back. The phone rings waking them both and Andrew goes to turn it off but its a call from Aaron, a FaceTime. So he answers, groggy and half asleep. He wakes up more after noticing that Aarons been crying.
"You're still in bed" chuckles from the other end of the phone
"Its the weekend, you're crying?" Andrew cuts the small talk and Neil peaks open an eye out of curiosity.
"We have some news" Katelyn wiggles her way onto the screen standing behind Aaron. "We're pregnant" she give a small happy dance. Andrew stares blankly for a moment.
"Youre going to be an uncle." Aaron says, clearly a bit nervous but mostly proud.
"How long?" Is the only response he can think of.
"I'm currently eight weeks, so give or take another 32 weeks, but theres more."
"More?" Andrew sits up a bit dragging Neil with him.
"Twins" Aaron finishes. Neil muffles a laugh into Andrew's shoulder.
"Good luck with that. If they are anything like you, your hands will be full."
"Shut up" Andrew and Aaron say in sync. Neil just laughs again with a shrug.
"You're not saying much." Aaron presses, fiddling with a pen.
"He's excited" Neil says, looking up at him. Andrew scoff and pushes his face away "he's got that look in his eyes, he happy" Andrew shoves Neil off of him.
"If you ever need anything," Andrew mumbles grumpily to which Aaron nods.
"We will be posting updates on our socials, but we wanted you to know first" katelyn says before disappearing off screen.
"Yeah okay." They talk a bit more before hanging up. Andrew stares at the black screen, processing everything.
"Whats on your mind?" Neil whispers crawling back over to him.
"I'm going to be an uncle. He wants me to be apart of it. Of their lives."
"Of course he does, you're his brother."
"A year ago, I would have never gotten that phone call." He drops the phone on his chest, letting it lay face down. Neil lets him be lost in thought for a moment, then reaches out and brushes the hair from his face.
"You two fixed your relationship. Of course he wants you to know his kids."
"Have you ever thought about it?" Andrew picks at his nails, not looking at Neil.
"About what? Drew, what are you asking?"
"Kids. Have you thought about it?"
"I think I'd make a terrible father. I didn't think you were the type to want kids"
"We dont have to be parents. We could foster. Its just an idea, i dont know." Andrew sits up, tossing his legs over the bed. "I don't even think kids would like me." Neil sits up too, watching Andrew's back.
"Do you want to foster children?" Andrew just shrugs at the question, not facing him.
"We could, it would be one more good house in all of the bad ones. Kids might not like us but theyd have their own room. A warm bed and a safe place to be." His words are quiet, contemplating. "Its just a thought."
"We can always look into it. I wouldn't mind."
"An uncle. He wants me to be an uncle." Andrews thoughts go full circle and Neil cant help but smile. Their future seems bright, and possibly filled with young laughter and toys. Neil inches his way to him and whispers "yes or no" a mumbled yes and Neil trails little kisses down Andrews neck, hugging his back to him.
"This also technically makes me an uncle, think Aarons upset about that yet?" Andrew rolls his eyes at him, earning another laugh.
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about Vi's ending
So, I get that a lot of people are unsatisfied with Vi's story arc in Arcane. I feel unsatisfied too. Here are some of my reasons. I wrote this as a response to another post initially, but I wanted to elaborate a little bit more.
So we know that the question the writers had for Vi was "what would happen if Vi had no one left to protect?"
"she would fall in love" is a lovely answer. I don't hate it, but it does feel like the bare minimum they could come up with... and even that had to be stripped for time. For instance, what does she want to do for a living?
That's not a random question. Her lore in the game tells us that she ends up working as an enforcer. Arcane makes it difficult for her at the beginning (you know, the enforcers-killed-my-parents thing), but we all expect that it's coming regardless.
I know a lot of people here never liked the idea of Vi becoming an enforcer. Not me. Give me Enforcer!Vi! Just make it a story, instead of skipping over it.
They had her join the enforcers in s2 act I for all the wrong reasons (guilt + fear of losing Caitlyn + thinking violence is the answer to her problems), which is not a bad thing, that's expected at this point of the story. They did skip over her motivations and left a lot to read between the lines, and that's frustrating in itself but that's not the problem. My problem with it is that it doesn't go anywhere. How does she feel about working with them in the end? Now that she's no longer blinded by her rage towards the Chembarons and Jinx's actions? Is it really just for Caitlyn's sake? Is there room in there somewhere for wanting to be a protector to the city, like Grayson did, if she even cares about that at all? (it makes sense that she doesn't in Arcane, but what about in the future? she's still a protector at heart, even if she has no family left) If she does, how does she reconcile that with what the enforcers are to the Undercity, does she genuinely think she can do some good? I could answer some of these with "oh well, she does end up as Caitlyn's partner so I'm just gonna go with 'yes' for convenience". But I wish Arcane had answered this for me.
What about the enforcers, how do they feel about her? Do they respect her? How would she interact with them in the future? Her only friend there, Loris, died at the end of S2 (I'm annoyed about that. not mad, not sad. Just annoyed), so she's effectively alone.
I suppose the root of the problem is that I watched Arcane with the expectation that Vi would end up as a Piltover champion by the end of it. That's not an unreasonable expectation considering her lore, but I can accept that Arcane just wasn't about "ending" character stories or bringing them to their lore counterpart. That's fair. Even within the story of Arcane though, where she ends up isn't fully satisfying. She's physically in Piltover, but mentally she's in a place where she doesn't really belong anywhere except with 1 (one) person, and we still have no idea what she wants to do with her life (outside of banging Caitlyn that is). Don't get me wrong, I love caitvi! I love what they did with them as a pair! But I have so many questions about Vi specifically that are unresolved.
Maybe that's the point. Arcane's ending is an open ending after all. But Caitlyn had a story arc outside of her relationship with her. Jinx had a story arc outside of her relationship with her. Even if their overall stories are not over, the Arcane story does leave them both in a place where they have grown from what they went through and even if we never see them again, we can feel like their story had a proper conclusion. Arcane doesn't leave Vi with a conclusion outside of her romance arc. Or to be fair, maybe it is a conclusion, just no one that I like / was hoping for. I sort of get that her not being able to grow was the point (to further Jinx's development. A lot of their scenes together were always more about Jinx's development and framed from Jinx's POV, which is a different complaint and an entirely different post). Not having agency at all was the point. But where does she go from there? Genuine question. Her character arc doesn't feel finished.
A lot of my frustrations would be soothed over if we had the certainty of having spin-offs. But 1) nothing is ever certain, 2) if something's coming, it's probably far in the future, 3) if and when it does come, there's no guarantee that Vi wouldn't be more than a background character.
Unfortunately, the general feeling I get from the writers' interviews is that they do feel like they really did get her where they wanted, so I'm not particularly hopeful that they have more stories to tell with her. Outside of being Caitlyn's partner that is.
(no, I don't think they "don't care about" or "hate" her character by the way. That's twisting their words beyond recognition)
So that's why I can't feel fully satisfied with Vi's story. I still love Arcane. I'm still looking forward to seeing more of the Runeterra universe. But as someone who really liked Vi's character from the start, I'm left with crumbs. Hints of what could be, but never the full picture, and more questions than answers. And that's disheartening, to be honest.
#arcane#arcane vi#vi arcane#caitvi#arcane discussion#for the record i do like season 2#and love arcane in general#that's why i'm still here#i'm just trying to articulate what didn't sit right with me on first watch#most of the time i end up liking s2 more once i've had time to think these things through
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i could be. thomas shelby
you could be a good mother, but he doesnt think so.
warnings; angst.
âđâËâčâĄ
thomas lies on his bed, his triumphant smile after his orgasm only makes you want to make him feel good again.
his blue eyes look at you and penetrate into your soul; he looks at you as if he knew each of your thoughts and secrets, but not your desires.
shelby blows the smoke from the cigarette in your face and laughs briefly at how you wrinkle your nose.
your hand goes to his cheek and you caress it gently.
âtommy?â you call him in a whisper.
âyes, sweetheart?â
he looks at you in a way that makes you feel like you're floating. it's a feeling that can't really be explained in words and only those who have experienced it know.
you don't know how to ask the question, and until the moment it comes out of your mouth it is not a question, but rather a thought, a wish.
âwhat would you think about a baby?â
thomas looks at you with the smile still plastered on his face until he understands your question and erases all expressions on his face.
now his expression is unreadable, as if he were not thinking or feeling anything; as if he was an empty container.
âare you pregnant?â he asks; his eyes having a war with yours.
âno.â you quickly deny and you can notice how the color returns to his face. âbut would you like it?â
thomas looks at you for two seconds and then the answer comes. âno.â
you let out a laugh. âi'm serious, tommy.â
he dont. he doesn't laugh. âme too.â
your hand stops caressing his cheek and your brow furrows almost by itself.
if this is a joke you are definitely not liking it.
âwhy not?â you feel naive, victim of a vile joke. âwouldn't you like to have a baby with me?â
thomas clicks his tongue. âno, i'm not cut out to be a father.â
the answer leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. the palms of your hands sweat; you were never good at confrontation... much less about topics as difficult as these... much less with him.
âwhat stupid things are you saying?â
âwhat you hear.â he answers, obviously. âwe shelbys are not made to be parents. i'm not made to be one.â
âwhat do you mean you're not cut out to be one?â questions. âdon't you plan for the future with me?â
he remains silent, also sitting on the bed like you. he ruffles his hair with one of his hands while throwing the cigarette butt into the ashtray with the other one.
âi'm not that kind of man.â he says simply. âi can't settle down, i have a lot of things on my mind.â
âwhat the hell are you talking about?â you claim angrily, pushing one of his arms away.
thomas looks at you, angry at your action.
âi'm not the kind of man who sits back and settles for playing happy house!â he says harshly. âi will not leave my lifestyle. â
âfuck your lifestyle!â you retort, also angry. âyou can't live being a gangster forever... you have to think maturely. for once! â
âi told you i'm not that kind of man!â he says, standing up from the bed angrily, putting on his pants. âi won't sit down and play house... not when there is so much to expand, so much money to earn... it just doesn't suit me. â
you look at him, feeling your body heat up with rage. âyou are pathetic! this is all pathetic... how can you not want a home to return to?â
âmy home is the brothels... the bars with good whiskey.â he points out obviously, putting on his leather shoes quick. âi won't sit down and rub a woman's belly... damn, i won't stop fucking my whores because of a baby in a belly!â
you remain speechless, looking at his worked back with nothing to say. really, for the first time, you are left speechless.
thomas puts on his shirt and turns to face your gaze. the puppy face you make almost makes him feel a little sorry for being so harsh... but at the end of the day; is it not the truth?
you feel stupid, you feel stupid and totally used. you don't feel like a partner but like a slut, like an everyday whore.
thomas's cum runs down your hole and stains the sheets. feeling the warmth down your crotch only makes you feel like an unpaid prostitute.
thomas gives you one last look over his shoulder, with the coat under his arm, and before walking out the door he gives you his last word.
âyou knew what you were getting into when you met me. don't try to change the way i am because that won't be possible.â
#thomas shelby x reader#thomas shelby#peaky blinder imagine#peaky blinder fanfic#peaky blinders#tommy shelby#tommy shelby x reader#cillian x reader#cillian smut
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Nicky's Back: A Hello Neighbor Fanfic
By JJ
Summary: Nicky's back at school.
The gang was just walking down the hallway of Raven Brooks Middle School, and Enzo looked up for a moment, and his eyes widened in shock.
Is that him?
Is that really him?
Was he dreaming?
Enzo took off his glasses and rubbed the lenses on his shirt a little, then put them back on.
No, it wasn't a dream. It was honest, and truly him!
Nicky!
He was back from the hospital!
Without another thought, he dropped his books and ran towards him, immediately wrapping his arms around him.
"I can't believe it! You're finally back!", he cheered, "I missed you so much!"
Nicky's eyes widened in surprise, and he didn't make a move to hug Enzo back, he just stood in shock. The rest of his friends made their way to him, and they looked just as surprised as him to see that Nicky was back.
Maritza's eyes were close to filling with tears, "Nicky, you're back.", she said, her voice starting to crack.
Nicky nodded and pushed Enzo away, "Yes, guys. I'm back.", he said, dusting himself off. "But -"
Without warning, Ivan jumped towards Nicky and wrapped his arms around him, causing Nicky to fall to the floor.
"OH MY GOODNESS! I'M SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW! YOU HAVE NO IDEA -"
Nicky pushed Ivan off of him and dusted himself off once again.
"Stop it.", he said. "I don't care if you guys missed me. That doesn't excuse what -"
Enzo put his hand up. He knew what this was about. "Nicky, I know we hurt your feelings with that. And we're sorry for that.", he said. "For telling you that your parents are cultists."
Nicky's eyes widened once again. Maritza moved closer to him, "Yes, we're sorry. We shouldn't have said that.", she said, giving him a hug that didn't knock him over to the floor.
She pulled away, and Ivan put his hand on Nicky's shoulder. "I solely apologize, since I was the one who said it first.", he said.
When he stepped away, Delroy moved to him, and he had no idea what he wanted to do. It felt awkward to hug him since they weren't friends, and he didn't want to do or say something that Nicky might take the wrong way.
So he just gave him an awkward pat on the head before stepping back and wiping his hand on his jacket.
Nicky looked down at his shoes, "I guess I forgive you guys.", he said. "I'm happy to be back, because I really miss you guys."
That just made everyone smile.
"But where's Trinity?"
That made everyone's eyes widen.
Enzo awkwardly scratched the back of his head, "We...don't know.", he said. "We heard that she was being sent away to boarding school, but when we stopped by her house for one last goodbye, her parents reported her missing."
Once again, Nicky's eyes widened.
Maritza put her hands up to him, trying to reassure him. "But we were planning to help look for her after school. If you wanted to catch up with us, we can -"
"No.", said Nicky. "I'm sorry, guys. I just can't. I want to, because she's my friend and I love her, but..."
"But you're scared.", Delroy finished. "We get it, we totally understand. Guys, he doesn't have to help us. Let's just let him live the rest of his life, not engaging in any weird nonsense like we're doing."
"But -"
"Nicky said it himself.", he said, not letting Ivan finish.
No one said anything else, they just sadly nodded. Nicky turned around to leave, but before he did, the gang gave him one more hug.
He smiled, and when they let go, he walked down the hallway and turned the corner to his next class.
Enzo looked at his shoes, and Maritza put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm fine, Mari. It's just...things aren't going to be the same without Nicky."
"I know, but we have to respect his decision.", said his sister. "We can still sit with him at lunch and save the rescuing Trinity from the cult nonsense for after school."
Enzo smiled at his sister, nodding his head in agreement. "That sounds perfect."
#hello neighbor#welcome to raven brooks#my fics#hello neighbor fanfic#enzo esposito#maritza esposito#nicky roth#ivan#delroy
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Strength. Not physical strength, but internal strength of character, of mind; knowing who you are, accepting it, and to overcome any and all obstacles you encounter through life. Dick is the epitome of this and for that, he's my favorite.
Dick has literally gone through so much, his parents death, his father going missing/dying (when Bruce got lost in the time stream), being violated (at a minimum of three times), traumatized beyond belief (kidnapped and "trained" by Slade, everything with Blockbuster) , abused by his father figure (Bruce forcing him to join Spyral, among numerous other acts), abused by his siblings (Jason punching Dick post his return from Spyral, plus everyone's attitudes), and yet he remains strong throughout all of it. It hurts, he gets broken, but he picks himself up and keeps going. He still goes out to save people.
Jason is too defined by his death, by his father's refuse to get revenge for him, and while many think Jason as the "angry Robin", to me he's the suspicious one, the one who's scared to die, be left behind, and forgotten above all. He's too desperate to be saved. He puts on a strong front, but he's not strong in and of himself.
Tim is too reliant on others to form his identity. He's smart, intelligent, yes, but he hasn't really found himself yet. He calls himself "Red Robin", still holding on to the Robin name, and a call to Red Hood, "his Robin", despite the beatdown Jason gave him. Tim is too desperate for acknowledgment from others after his neglectful parents. Too desperate to be needed, to be useful.
Stephanie Brown is alright. In terms of strength, mentally and as a character... she might actually be second. While I don't know as much about her as Dick or the others, she's overcome a lot and (probably) remained true to herself.
Damian is still growing. He's young and hasn't fully grown into himself, truly understood himself. He's got a superiority complex hiding an inferiority complex and mostly just wants to live up to his parents' legacies.
Carrie Kelly - I have no idea who this is.
Jarro - He's an alien and I do not know enough about him. He looks like that one demon in the SMT games.
Duke Thomas - I don't know enough about him or what he's been through to really make a judgement call.
#dc comics#dcu#dc universe#batman#dc robin#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#stephanie brown#damian wayne#duke thomas
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I've seen a few posts about women and pants now and many of them are very good, and not to nitpick those posts or downplay religious sexism or anything, but I have to emphasise:
Somebody who DOESN'T live in a controlling religious country/cult/family is also affected by sexism. We all know that, right? Secular parts of the first world also have opinions about how women dress, including when it comes to trousers, especially in childhood and in institutions like schools and the workplace
Me and many people my age (20s) remember being forced into skirts, punished and shamed by parents & teachers & peers & possibly then bosses about what we wear not being feminine enough, and it wasn't by deeply religious sects. Many updates to dress codes are very new and sexist views are still in place in many institutions. Normalised societal misogyny wants women (and people they want to treat as women) to dress femininely, down to what KIND of pants they're allowed to wear (compare a pink top and jeggings to mens jeans and tell me these two women are treated the same. Hating women in pantsuits is still a sexist office joke today, and even those outfits are feminine compared to male suits, which raise eyebrows when worn by women). The women I know who wear trousers regularly are literally otherwise feminine, and all wear dresses to events.
I know trousers have become much more normalised over the past few decades in secular society (yay!! the result of many many years of effort and lawbreaking) but let's not be absolute when we talk about the pants concept lol. Especially within a larger conversation about female/transmasc/intersex/transfem masculinity and social perceptions, especially in an age of rising fascism
#you know. misogyny?#transandrophobia#you're telling me only muslims and christians experience pants based sexism. in front of my salad?#i did not have screaming arguments with my nonbeliever non church attendee parents in the 2000s to have you lot --#sexism is Not strange or rare or fringe#pretend me wearing pants from then on was societally allowed. i got a talking to at school about pants.#i was scared i would have to wear a skirt at high school in the 2010s. thankfully the one i went to was more progressive#getting clocked as the only 'girl' in class wearing trousers without at leasts wearing a skirt over it#having older female AND male relatives pick up on the lack of a skirt/dress at events#yes some people think it's normal. and some people think being gay is normal. and some people dgaf if you're foreign or whatev#but existing some ways means you have certain experiences and there are certain risks hanging over you lol#just making this post bc some of you live in some extremely progressive USA city and have forgotten normal people exist /lighthearted#mum still shows me a polka dot dress i used to wear as a baby and asks me why i don't wear dresses. some dumb dress shes kept for 20 years#she wears trousers and dungarees sometimes. but that's the thing#pants are a temporary allowance. if that's all you wear then they hate that. you have to be Feminine when they demand#your wardrobe still carries sexist necessities before people start to look at you funny#if i went to an event like a wedding in a suit people would talk (closeted to most ppl irl)#anyway.#sending telepathic strength to anyone surrounded by so called progressives who have opinions on how they dress đđïžđïžđ
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âYour hairâs gotten longer.âÂ
Itâs conscious effort that keeps him from tucking the strands behind his ear, from taking the knife at his hip and shearing it all off. He keeps his stance focused, attentive, thereâs little else he can do when heâs taken so completely after his mother when it comes to his hair. His father scratches his chin, the clouds of his beard snaking about his finger like mist parting for mountain-peaks. Aresâ chin is still child-smooth. He can feel the tickle of his over-long fringe against his soft jaw. Thereâs no heart in his chest, but still he feels as though a pulse is lodged in his throat.Â
Father sighs, put-upon, disappointed, and Ares feels a slight tremor start in his calves from holding himself so tense. âWell done, Ares. Go clean yourself up and get some rest. Phoebus will want to look you over later.âÂ
He should be ecstatic to be praised by his father. Over-the-moon with joy. There should be pride emanating from every pore of his body, the blood on his skin should be sweeter than ambrosia.Â
Instead, he bows, manages a soft âthank you, Fatherâ around the lump in his throat and immediately flees the room. A mild âmake sure to trim your hairâ hits the back of his head like a spear through the skull. He almost wishes the great door had slammed on his foot so he would have reason to feel this horrid in his retreat. Â
Phoebus Apollo is waiting for him in his infirmary.Â
Heâs gilded as ever, gold from crown to heel. Perfect like the statues they carve of him in his temples. He has a smile for Ares when he sees him, a crinkle at the edges of his pretty eyes from the weight of his joy. Ares is waiting to see the crack in the marble, to see if thatâs the chip thatâll reveal his fangs.
âBrother,â he greets, and his voice is warm - like the arms that embrace him, his voice is so warm, âWelcome back. Iâve heard youâve done well.â Â
Thereâs a tremble in Aresâ fingers he hadnât noticed before. Strain from carrying his sword for so many days, a throb from wounds he hadnât noticed heâd accrued. âHeard? Thereâs already gossip?âÂ
Phoebus blinks, disarming, demure, coquettish, âBut of course,â and Phoebusâ voice is honey to Aresâ gravel, the juxtaposition is grating on his skin, âItâs Olympus. The gossip began long before you set your course.â Those warm hands lead him further into the room, bodily sits him on the chaise, pulls his helmet from his head. Itâs all one, unbroken motion, âItâs summer alas, so I could not watch your war myself, but I hear it was quite the decisive victory.âÂ
A thousand thoughts run on horseback through his mind then.Â
Did Father overhear some terrible slander that pre-emptively disappointed him? Was Aresâ victory merely a rumour, a bet his father hadnât bothered to take? Was the gossip more enticing than the stark truth? That Ares wasnât some child toddling about in the shadow of his sister, that his sword and spear werenât merely for show - heâd think such a thing would warrant celebration. Not -
âOh my,â Phoebus is in front of him, pleasant warmth more sticky heat with how close heâs pressed himself into Aresâ space. From this angle, Ares can see the multi-coloured flecks of his eyes, like shards of golden glass suspended in ichor. From this angle, with his hand so gently holding his hair, were Ares to blink too hard, heâd swear Phoebus looked just like his mother. âYour hairâs grown long again.âÂ
He pushes Phoebus off with such force that he bangs into the wall. Itâs Phoebus, it wonât make even the impression of a scratch on him, but Ares wishes it would. Wishes heâd hit his shoulder or crack his neck or hit his head just hard enough for all that perfect, gilded gold to bleed.Â
âIâm only here for you to heal me,â the tremble in his hand extends to his shoulder now. He flexes and unflexes his palm. Gods what he would give to just have a sword - âDonât waste time with the pleasant-work.âÂ
Phoebus huffs, adjusts the fit of his himation, â...Only because weâre meant to be celebrating your victory.â He crosses the room in two great strides, his hair a swirling tempest behind him as he gathers his poultices and wraps. âThe only reason Iâll not throw you from the window is because we are meant to be celebrating your victory.â Â
Thereâs not enough acid in his tone for this to truly be a fight. Aresâ jaw clenches, he bites out a terse, âHow benevolent.âÂ
âArenât I?â Heâs got nectar and his sutures in hand, that focused look falling upon his face when he switches from overbearing busybody to Paeon of the Gods. âNow strip unfaltering Ares, let us see the measure of damage done to your indomitable flesh.âÂ
(Somewhere between the fifth set of stitches and the gentle frown that crosses Phoebusâ face when he notices the persistent tremble in his fingers, Ares pins his eyes to the far wall and asks, âWhat does it mean when Father says âwell doneâ?âÂ
Any other sibling would mock before they gave a true response. Any other sibling would laugh and dismiss it, would say that praise is praise and any lingering ill feeling is just the worst of the war still fogging his mind. Phoebus does not answer immediately. He doesnât make a single sound. The question settles like fetid water between them, unignorable, the scent right there on the tip of the tongue yet firmly unacknowledged. Ares closes his eyes and tries again to settle his squirming so he does not interfere with Phoebusâ work. The metallic snip of scissors cutting thread breaks the silence. Phoebus bids him to sit up and slides his warm palms up his back until his fingers tangle gently in the ends of his hair. He twists the dark red strands until heâs gathered it all into a neat handful, holding it loosely as he switches his scissors for his shearing blade. âYou should know it was not praise,â Phoebus says softly. The first of Ares cut hairs fall like viscera from his head. Phoebus treats each cutting with the sacredness of a blood-sacrifice. If he focused on the moment of tension right before the blade cuts though, Ares thinks he can imagine the agony of his sisterâs sacred birth. âIt is acknowledgement. Father thinks youâve done well so he says âwell doneâ.â
Gently, Phoebus releases him. Ruffles his head so all the extra hairs fall like red rain to the floor. Ares runs his fingers through the ends now curling against his ear. âHas he ever told you âwell doneâ?âÂ
A laugh, warm and gilded, âNo, and it would not make you feel better if he had.âÂ
Ares swallows down a thousand different questions. Phoebus wouldnât answer them, heâs infuriating like that. Instead, he clenches his teeth, the phantom of Fatherâs dizzying tangle of grey cloud-hairs persistent in the corner of his eyes. âCut it shorter.â
Phoebus doesnât protest. He never seems to say a word when it really matters.)
#ginger writes#âOh I'll post more about Apollo and Zeus!â posts about Ares and Apollo posts about Ares and Apollo posts about Ares--#Admittedly the triad of Zeus Ares Apollo is very interesting to me and it has a very fun place in my work so like#woe Ares/Apollo sibling relations be upon ye#I think Ares and Apollo are such fascinating foil cases btw - both for exploring masculinity and the complexes of the son#Strong masculine Ares with his dread and bloody war-work vs calm effeminate Apollo with his dread but distant archery#Apollo himself is not effeminate by the by but some of the things he's associated with tend to give that impression#I'm thinking specifically of an Achilles/Paris dichotomy between the two almost tbh#Where Achilles lives gloriously and fights gloriously but is ultimately destined for shame and an inglorious end#while Paris lives according to his feelings and desires yet prevails over both the pious and the powerful#That's the kind of relationship they have at this point#It's also very interesting looking at cases where parents (in this case Zeus) don't necessarily deride or shame a child#but certainly don't uplift them either#The distance between Zeus and Ares will never not be a favoured topic of mine#I love that shit so much actually#zeus#ares#apollo#writing#greek mythology#pursuing daybreak posting
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.besties help im having a moment again
#Robin processes emotions on main#yes i know i logged out. im back. just for this. because of the Nerves#so ok explanation. my college friend is visiting today#in person. we're in person friends. thumbs up. I used to see her once a week#and I'm so nervous about seeing this friend im driving myself CRAZYYY. it is NOT good for me to live w my parents#AUGH#i dont...... i don't wanna do this todayyy#I'm not physically up to going out today but also I'm not good at interacting with friends while in my parents' house. weeps.#I revert into the most anxious quiet and unhelpful child when I have her over at this house aughhhhh#IT'S NOT ANYONE'S FAULT EITHER it's just my stupid. brain and habits or something. I feel terrible about it though#I want to be a better friend but I just dont. have the capability rn#okay. okay. im going to have breakfast and then shower and then clean up my room#wait no first I'm going to text her#hnnnnng
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gotham fic idea/prompt i might add onto later but who knows
the bats face a powerful meta/magic user/idk who is able to basically trap people in an illusion of some significant night in their lives--see notes for more on that. in order to get out, they have to literally fight the illusions. everyone can see them doing this, but they can't necessarily see other people. maybe they get regressed back to the age where it happened, idk yet.
so. bruce get hit just when the fight is slowing down (someone didn't secure the criminal properly) and suddenly the entire battlefield is overlayed by an image of a circus---but not just any circus. screams everywhere, crying, gunshots, brutal sounds of people being killed and tortured everywhere. the games are all disgusting facsimiles of circus/carnival games--whack-a-mole with people's heads, darts games aiming at people, etc. all from the gotham tv show.
bruce, seventeen years old, with a painted face, kidnapped by a man with red hair and a sewn-on face, a man who looks so much like the joker... but isn't.
the man calls him bruce. the joker /never/ calls him bruce (not in front any of the batfam, anyway), always batman. because the joker likes to take credit for creating the batman.
but the truth is that both the batman and the joker were created by the same man: the man with the sewn-on face. jerome. a name they had never heard before.
idk, thinking of the bats' response to this is fun. what is also fun is imagining a de-aging situation or a ressurection situation--maybe at the same time? who knows!
ugh, i have too many ideas.
#i was going to say the night was the worst night in their lives but i don't think this one quite tops his parents' murder. not quite#anyway in that literal episode jerome said that âgotham has no heroesâ well GUESS WHAT?#he literally just created batman#that was so crazy for me when i first watched it#gotham#gotham tv#gotham tv show#gotham tv series#gotham!bruce#bruce wayne#batman#batfam#batfamily#gotham!joker#jeremiah valeska#jerome valeska#yes today i am flooding these tags but i don't care i have too many thoughts and nobody to talk about them with#g!bruce meets batfam#<- new tag#specifically for this purpose on my blog#lolsies
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Ok, Odysseus, the raining* king of Ithaca, is my Roman Empire.
And I don't particularly mean all the "adventures" he went through or the wrong he might have done.
It's the pain of a parent who has not been able to watch his child grow up.
He remembers him as a baby. He was once very close to home, to be able to see (and raise) him still as a child, but that too was taken from him. If it weren't for the right circumstances, he might not have recongnise him in adulthood.
* I apologize for this silly joke that still makes me smile.
#yes it's thanks to Epic#but I have read the Odyssey in the month between finally getting into Epic and the Thunder Saga release. it's one of my favourite books now#and both versions of Odysseus live in my head now and my heart aches for both of them for reasons that are sometimes similar#Epic's Odysseus is more centred on his wife which is very lovely and then his son#the original Odysseus seems to be more concerned for Ithaca and then his son#however they both care for all three#and the part where the original Odysseus finally reunites with Penelope is one of my favourite parts#I'm not a mother yet#don't know if I'll ever be#although I'd love to#just imagining being kept from my child for 20 years. not being to see them grow and be there for them when they would need me makes me cry#I don't know if I could survive that#I get extremly sad when thinking about Anticlea as well#Odysseus#Odysseus of Ithaca#Telemachus#Anticlea#parental love#the Odysseey#Epic: the Musical#âTime for me to be the father I never wasâ#oversharing#I'm having an emotional day today sorry about that
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When people say that Dick âhas a temperâ what do they mean? Is he the type to blow up over an inconvenience, be impatient, or rage-quit?
Ahhhh, I had a lot of fun with this. Thanks for the ask, anon. <3
My main feeling about Dick's temper is it's an important part of his characterization, and it's a fun part of his characterization, but I also try not to overemphasize it? A lot of my thoughts are here; also @theflyingwonder has some good panel collections here and here and here if you want to see what Dick generally looks like when he's grumpy about something.
General thoughts / caveats:
Anger is obviously not the only emotion Dick ever feels!! He feels many other emotions too!! The fact that he is capable of getting really angry sometimes does not mean that he is angry all the time!!
He's a person who feels emotions very deeply - anger, love, loyalty, etc. - but also has a very conflicted relationship with his emotions. He aspires to be perfectly controlled, like he imagines Bruce is, and he's ashamed of moments when he loses control. Because he's wound pretty tight and represses a lot, his emotions can be a bit explosive when he loses his grip on them.
I would never describe him as "an angry person." He doesn't walk around fuming at the world and looking for things to be mad about, y'know? He's a person who wants to be optimistic and tries to be optimistic. This very much includes when he's Robin.
He wouldn't blow up over an inconvenience unless he was already really upset about something more serious. But yeah, if he's upset about something important, sometimes he'll lash out at whatever's closest.
He's methodical and focused; he'll sometimes get impatient when he's, say, bored by his friends' TV preferences, and in general he gets restless and likes to be moving, but if he's got a challenging task to complete he's completely capable of hyper-focusing on it.
In his civilian life, he generally has a pretty good grip on the anger - so e.g. I don't remember him ever shouting at Clancy or civilian friends in general. When a reporter tries to get dirt on him by interviewing his neighbors at his apartment complex, they universally gush about how nice he is.
Meanwhile, in his vigilante life, he's got a rigid moral code and a rigid sense of duty. He cares a lot about helping people and protecting civilians, and he's emotionally-fulfilled by it, and he can be very kind. But he's also a super-intense person who takes his responsibilities seriously, and he'll get sharp with people that he feels aren't being serious enough. He only screws around when he's with people who are very serious themselves, like Bruce.
In an argument, Dick's generally direct and confrontational: he'll snap at you to your face, not sulk behind your back. Even when he's being a bit more passive-aggressive, he's not subtle about it. If Dick's annoyed with you, you'll know. If he doesn't like you, he makes it obvious.
Jean-Paul: I've seen you with Robin - you like Robin. Dick: You got a problem with Robin? Jean-Paul: No! I like Robin, too. He's an exceptional young man. I just mean... it's obvious when you like someone. And equally obvious that you don't like me. (GK 14)
Dick's just a very dynamic character in general, rather than a static one. When he's relaxed, he can be very easygoing and friendly; if you get off on the wrong foot with him, he's prickly and often harsh. He's got a very serious core, a strong sense of principle, and a passionate sense of loyalty to the people he cares about. Here's a light-hearted moment with Dick and Tim fooling around playing tag:
Dick (grabbing Tim from above): Gotcha! Tim: Augh! (B: Transference)
This is from the exact same arc as the panel at the top - but before Hugo Strange almost kills Bruce. And just in general I think this panel is a good reminder that Dick does all kinds of things that are not about being angry, that he's also the person who keeps Tim fed and repeatedly saves him from falling, that sometimes he'll pour his heart out to Bruce, that he really really really loves his friends, and so on.
Now, all that said, if you would like an extensive deep dive into Dick yelling at people (and really, who wouldn't? yelling is fun!), I've collected a super-long list of quotes which I've attempted to corral into organization. Below the cut:
Dick vs. criminals
Dick vs. Bruce
Dick + list of reasons he gets upset
Dick + annoyance at friends/teammates
Dick + lashing out at loved ones (rare! but, uh, very memorable)
Dick + first meetings with future siblings (+Steph)
In conclusion
Anger at Criminals
Dick's temper is an important part of how he thinks of himself: he's intensely self-aware about his temper and also conflicted about it. It comes up most often when he's fighting criminals, especially when they're threatening people he loves:
Dick (internally): At first, I couldn't believe what they were saying⊠but as the truth sank in, I felt a rage growing so great inside me - that it felt like I was just a part of the anger, instead of it being a part of me. Kid!Dick: Those animals! They murdered my mother and father! I'm going to the police! Bruce: No... not yet. (Secret Origins 13) Deathwing: You've been so angry for so long, Dick. Learn to accept it because you have no choice. You will become me, Dick, and I know because I am your worst nightmare! I am you! Dick: Never! I'm not you and I'll never be you! Yeah, I get angry. Sometimes I get so pissed I want to break everything in sight. But everyone gets mad. Everyone gets frustrated. But I don't fight out of anger! I fight when there's something wrong that needs to be stopped! And that's why I'll never be you! I don't fight to kill - I fight to protect! And what you said about Batman - well, pal, screw you. He's the best mentor anyone ever had! (NT 100) Dick (internally): I hit him harder than I should. Not sure why. It worries me that it feels so right. (N 2) Dick: I thought I was more in control than that. But I lost it. Tim: It was made right, Dick. The Joker is alive and not well in a maximum security cell. Dick: Itâs not right with me. I never thought I could be a killer. Iâm wrong. Thereâs a part of me I never saw before. The rage. I never felt anger like that. I feel like it clawed me up inside. (N 64) Dick (internally): Nothing Jason says can be taken for truth. He says Tim is dead. I'll need more proof than his word and an empty cowl. Because right now, I need to keep that hope alive. If for nothing else, then to keep me from losing control⊠and I won't let that happen. Can't let that happen. Can't. Dick (punching Jason): WHERE IS HE, JASON? Jason: Depends on what kind of life he led. Dick (breaking Jason's nose, then internally): There goes his nose. Control your anger. (BftC 3) Jason (internally): Dick is different from Bruce. In the way he fights. In the way he thinks. And the way he feels. And he gets angry. Really angry. That anger, it'd make him a great Batman, if he'd let it. He's trying too much to be like him. The good son. Man, I hate him. (B&R 25)
So something you'll notice about all of these moments is that Dick isn't proud of his anger. He doesn't experience it as cathartic, and he isn't proud of the things he does when he's angry. His anger is an enemy; it's the person he doesn't want to be, to the extent that after the fact being angry almost feels like an out-of-body experience, because in the burn of anger he'll do things that his conscious mind rejects.
I tend to think of anger for Dick as akin to a temptation. He's strong and talented and smart. He's capable of really hurting people. He also believes - viscerally, fiercely - that it's wrong to do so.
Worth remembering: Dick's big confrontation with Zucco, in most of his origin stories, involves taking the photo that gets him arrested:
Dick (remembering): Twenty-four hours later, we were on the trail of Boss Zucco... and when he murdered his own henchman, I took the photo that sent Zucco to prison! (Secret Origins 13)
And in Batman: Year Three, he's furious when he thinks that Bruce might have arranged for Zucco to get killed - when Dick's calm and thinking clearly, he believes it's wrong to kill even people who are clearly evil. It's only when he's swept up in emotion that he'll get violent.
Anger at Bruce
... Look, I had to give Bruce his own category.
Dick and Bruce have a lot of fights. Like, a lot of fights.
Now, this isn't at all particular to Dick! Dick's just one of many, many, many people in Bruce's life who periodically get fed up with him. So I wouldn't gloss this as Dick being unusually short-tempered - post-Crisis Bruce would provoke a saint (and does! at one point Clark briefly votes him out of the JLA!). And Dick doesn't always get angry when Bruce is being a jerk to him - sometimes he's just discouraged, or depressed.
But at the same time, Dick's not a pushover, and when he's sufficiently provoked, he'll often track Bruce down to confront him / demand an explanation / demand better behavior / etc. Paradoxically, I actually tend to see these confrontations as an expression of Dick's faith in Bruce. He gets angry because he expects better.
Here's a small sampling of Dick-angry-at-Bruce moments (some confrontations, some where Dick's just fuming on his own):
Bruce: Listen to me. Dick: Listen to you? You hand Gotham over to that nutcase altar boy. You leave this kid out to dry without a snowball's chance. Then you throw everything youâve lived for aside like it was nothing! Killing this creep doesnât make you as bad as the scum we hunt. It makes you worse. Because they never stood for anything. (R 8) Dick: If you say anything about 'finding myself,' I think I'll puke. Bruce: I thought you'd be glad to see me back. Dick: That depends on why you came back. Bruce: To take up the mantle again. To take back my place. Dick: For how long this time? Bruce: Not now, Dick. We can talk about this when - Dick: Right now. We're settling this right now, Bruce. (R 12 - Bruce has abruptly reappeared in the Batcave after leaving Dick and Tim in charge during Prodigal)
Dick: It was you who told us to stay out of Gotham. Iâve got a life here. I canât just walk away from that. Youâll have to - (Bruce hangs up on him) Damn you! (N 34 - Bruce has been AWOL for months and now abruptly summons Dick to join him in No Man's Land) Dick (internally): Bruce is playing martyr. Keeping us at a distance. [âŠ] Why does it have to be this way with us? WHY? (He punches his car, and his hand comes away bloody.) Uncontrollable rage. The same rage I felt when I killed the Joker. Thought I had it under control. (N 65 - Bruce is accused of murder and freezing out the Bats) Bruce: What are you doing out of bed? Dick: You did it again, didn't you? You pushed everyone away! (N 99) Bruce: I assume this isn't a social call? Dick: What the hell is the matter with you? I mean, aside from the obvious! Ignoring the many layers of denial, and the fifty feet of psychological body armor that you throw up to avoid feeling anything! Aside from that! And the pathological need to control everything on Earth and beyond! Ignoring all that! What exactly is your compulsion, your burning desire to deceive, lie, and manipulate the only people who give a good god damn about you?! Bruce: You getting to a point? (O 21 - Dick just found out that Bruce was secretly funding the Outsiders)
Dick's relationship with Bruce is Complicated (TM), because he's also incredibly loyal, and - despite everything - he loves Bruce a lot. A lot of Dick's anger comes out of this frustrated loyalty - Dick feels betrayed and hurt because he loves Bruce so much. Here's a panel from later in Outsiders 21:
Bruce: You shouldn't place that much faith in me. Dick: I have more faith in you than anyone.
Reasons why Dick gets angry: an incomplete list
So if Dick isn't really the type to, say, rage-quit a game, then what does he get angry about (other than criminals and Bruce in general)?
I've tried to loosely categorize what seem to me to be the main things that can make him lose his temper:
as above, somebody Dick loves has been hurt and he's furious at the person who did it (so e.g. trying to kill the Wildebeests when they threaten the Titans, trying to kill Hugo Strange for trying to kill Bruce, lashing out at Tumult when he hurts Tim),
he's feeling attacked or betrayed and he's lashing out in self-defense (so e.g. a lot of the fights with Bruce, punching Roy after Roy fires him in New Titans, or calling Roy a junkie when Roy tells him he's just like Bruce in Outsiders, or yelling at Tim when Tim's insisting he should be Robin again),
he's angry about a lack of loyalty (so e.g. he's furious and feels betrayed when he learns that Bruce has replaced him with Jason; he's angry at Bruce for picking Azrael as Batman instead of Dick; he's angry at Tim when Tim suggests Bruce might be a murderer)
he's jealous (so e.g. he's hurt and angry when Kory marries someone else; his resentment of Azrael is much more about Bruce than it is about Azrael)
he's angry at another vigilante for behaving too violently/irresponsibly (so e.g. he has multiple fights with Kory insisting that she can't kill anyone; he's similarly furious with Bruce when he thinks Bruce has tried to kill someone; he snaps at the Titans in general after a failed mission; he's harsh about Tim and his team during Graduation Day)
he's unhappy and taking it out on someone else, often to drive them away (so e.g. he snaps at Donna and Alfred when he's depressed about Kory's marriage - arguably there's some supernatural influence here, but IMO he'd do it anyway; he gets snappish with Tim when he's depressed about his own lack of progress with Chulo/in BlĂŒdhaven and also when he's actually mad at Bruce about Jean-Paul; he's very harsh to Babs and Wally when they try to comfort him post-J:LL; arguably most of his behavior in Outsiders after Donna's death falls under this category too),
he's unhappy and he's taking it out on an inanimate object (so e.g. smashing things after hearing about Kory's potential marriage; punching his car until his hand is bloody after Bruce has been a jerk to him, smashing a sign when Babs is jabbing at him by comparing him to Bruce),
his privacy is being violated by paparazzi (Dick hates photographers and will not hesitate to punch them or destroy their equipment)
I think something important about all these reasons is... they're understandable? It's not surprising that Dick is upset about the woman he loves marrying someone else; it would be stranger if he wasn't upset. It's not surprising that he lashes out defensively when he's feeing attacked - this is an extremely common thing to do! Dick's anger isn't a weird cloud of rage that just descends on him for no reason; he gets angry when he has something to get angry about.
That said, he does have particular things he's especially touchy about - loyalty, privacy, control, etc. And his anger can be physical - he does break things.
Dick + annoyance with friends/teammates
Dick calls a team meeting to rebuke the Titans in Titans 13
This is lower-key, so I wouldn't always describe this as anger per se, but it feels relevant: Dick can get snappish if he's in a bad mood, though he'll usually back off if it's pointed out to him:
Dick: Half this world goes to hell in a handcart and you do nothing? Donna: Hey, don't shout at me because your personal life has gone crazy. We had a crisis⊠Dick: You had a crisis? Who hasn't? And my personal life, for what it's worth, is a: just fine, and b: none of your business. Do me a favor and go. I want to be alone. (NTT 18 - Dick's upset because Kory is marrying someone else)
Dick: Roy! What the hell is this? Why is Lian in the way? She should be in a crib or something, not where people can step on her. Roy: Dick, my daughter is in nobody's way, and I'm watching her every move. Dick: Oh, yeah? Well, I've had it - Roy: Dick, your friends are here to help you and you're not making it any easier. C'mon, pal - calm down. Dick: You're right. I'm sorry. This is all getting to me. Roy: Really? The immediate world and I never noticed. (NT 100)
Dick (surprising Tim): You should've known you wouldn't hear anything. Not in this wind - but if you'd been downwind on the other side, you might have scented me. Tim (startled): Nightwing! Dick: You did want to meet - or do you just like playing computer games? Now letâs make it snappy - Iâm in New York on my own business. Tim: And a big fat hi to you, too. (Showcase '93 11 - Dick's upset because he's blaming himself for someone Chulo murdered)
Dick: He didn't send you to check up on me? Tim: Huh? Dick (scowling): Don't play dumb. Tim: Batman? I came down on my own, Dick. What's with the attitude? Dick: Sorry, Tim. I haven't been making a lot of progress since I got here. (N 6 - Dick's self-aware here - he's on edge because he thinks he's doing a bad job)
Babs: Okay, calm down, take a deep breath, and explain again why youâre so angry⊠Dick: Why am I angry? Iâm not angry, IâmâIâmâIâm dismayed, okay? Iâm dismayed that there can be a Robin who believes Batman could be guilty of murder! How could that happen, Babs? How could that happen?! (GK 26) Kory: You could say goodbye to your teammates. Dick: They're not my teammates anymore. Kory: They noticed. (TT/O Secret Files 2005)
You'll notice that several of these include Dick backtracking and apologizing. He doesn't hold grudges or fume forever! And Dick's generally self-aware enough to realize why he's snappish once he takes a step back:
Dick: IâŠIâm sorryâŠI know this isnât your fault. Here Iâm attacking you - and youâre probably just as scared as I am. I just feel so frustrated. Batman could always remain calm in a crisis. I guess thatâs just another difference between us. Maybe Iâd be better off if I just cut myself off from all feeling like he does. (NT 77)
Something Dick generally isn't apologetic about: Dick is intensely self-critical about badly-done vigilante work, and in a team setting, he's not that patient with other people's mistakes.
Here's Dick calling a team meeting so he can scold the team in Titans 13:
Dick: Lock the doors, sit down, and pay attention. And that's an order. ... Our performance against Tartarus and the HIVE was unacceptable. Each and every one of you should thank God you weren't killed.
Here's an argument between Dick and Donna in Graduation Day 2 - the context is that Young Justice just screwed up an earlier fight, and Tim's berating himself and Conner while Dick and Donna eavesdrop (you'll notice that like Dick, Tim tends to be pretty self-critical + impatient with teammates):
Conner: The Titans got their lumps. Tim: No, the Titans got our lumps. They were looking out for us. There we were, shoulder to shoulder with the inspiration for Young Justice. And we lose half our team and half of theirs. Conner: Tim, I bet they were a lot like us when they started. Tim: No, I don't think so. (Donna and Dick are eavesdropping.) Donna: He's being awfully hard on himself. Kind of reminds me of someone. Dick: I don't know what you're talking about. Donna: You could tell him he's wrong. Dick: Is he? Donna: We stepped in it plenty of times, Dick. Plenty. We got beat by Dr. Light. Completely pantsed by Trident. We had the ill-conceived idea that the Mad Mod was a threat. There was that time in South America when we left Garth in the sun for three hours. Lots of stuff⊠We even got kidnapped by Count Vertigo. How embarrassing was that? Dick: I didn't get kidnapped. I got nabbed when I was coming to save Roy. Donna: Nevertheless, they could use a kind word. Dick: I'm not sure a kind word is what they need.
The upshot is that Donna goes to comfort Cassie while Dick goes off alone.
Again, the point is not that Dick goes around fuming about his teammates 24/7! He cares about the Titans and trusts them to watch his back; he feels the same way about Tim.
But in the heat of the moment, he'll sometimes get snappish or impatient, especially with people he's close to. The friends that Dick has who stick around are the ones who are tough enough to stand up to him, and who understand him enough not to take his occasional moods personally.
Dick + lashing out at loved ones
This one's a bit meaner. Dick's really good at picking out other people's insecurities, which he almost never uses against them ... but when he's retaliating, he's got an instinct for what will hurt the most:
Dick: No, I won't stop it. How dare you tell me what to do when you screwed up so badly Raven could be dead by now? Who knows what Mento did to Gar and Vic? Maybe your failure killed Kole. No, I won't stop. I won't! Donna (punching him): Shut up, Dick! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! I don't want to hear anymore! Dick: But you're going to, Donna. You made me listen to what you had to say. But you don't like hearing the truth about yourself, do you? The perfect Donna Troy maybe isn't so perfect after all. (NTT 19 - Dick's under an ambiguous amount of Brother Blood influence during this period, but he's also just really upset about Kory, and I tend to interpret BB as "reducing his self-control" not "he's a totally different person")
Bruce: I didn't expect to see you again. Dick: I heard about Jason. I'm really sorry, Bruce. Bruce: You weren't at the funeral. People asked about you. Dick: C'mon, Bruce - talk. Don't turn your back on me. I'm here⊠now. Bruce: You were lucky. When you didn't listen to me, your injuries weren't fatal. Of course, by the time I properly trained you - Dick: Bruce, c'monâŠlay off. I'm not here to fight. Bruce: Then don't! Dick: Are you blaming me? I left, so Jason replaced me, and because I left he died? No way, pal. Jason wasn't me. I was a trained acrobat. I could think quickly in perilous situations. But why did you let him become Robin before he was ready?!? Bruce (punching him): Don't you dare blame me for Jason's death! Don't you dare! (NT 55 - this fight is ofc 110% Bruce's fault even before the punch, but Dick absolutely is blaming Bruce for Jason's death here) Dick (trying to punch Roy): GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME, YOU TRAITOR! Roy: Dick, I'm your friend⊠Blast it, man - why are you doing this? Dick: Friends don't turn on friends, Harper. I've been there every time you called me. I sat up with you all night while you were detoxing. That was not a pretty sight. (NT 101 - Dick's upset about getting fired as team leader)
Dick: I disgraced myself and my uniform. Both uniforms. I have to learn to live with that or quit. No more surprise visits, Babs. Don't make me sorry I put an elevator in this building. (BoP 37)
Roy: Look at you! Your greatest fear in life, the thing that eats at you - is that you're terrified of becoming Batman!! A cold, detached, emotionless loner. I've got news for you, that's exactly what you are. You've become the man who raised you. Dick: YeahâŠand you're just like the man who raised you. A shallow, self-loathing, womanizing thrill-seeker. Except he was never a junkie. (O 16) Gar: I guess it doesn't bother you that your new teammate killed your old one? 'Cause it sure bothers the hell outta me. Dick: Enough. I'm here to find Kory and Tim. I don't need Terra's best friend lecturing me about loyalty. (TT/O Secret Files 2005)
Dick + 1st meetings with future siblings (+Steph)
I hesitated including this on the list because it's lower-key and not always anger per se, but I think a lot of times when people say Dick "has a temper," they're not necessarily talking about his angriest moments so much as pushing back against the idea that he's happy or welcoming all the time.
If you're reading post-Crisis canon, Dick's a prickly introvert who can be slow to warm up to newcomers in Gotham. He's not exclusively cranky by any means! But he's not all smiles, either. Here are some snappish moments from first meetings with Jason, Tim, Cass, Damian, and Steph:
Dick: They'll probably switch to another lab, now that you've spooked them. Jason: Then it's no big deal! We'll just locate their new digs and bust them when they take possession. Dick: Wrong! I'll locate the new lab all by myself! You're going home to tell Batman how you screwed up tonight! Jason: Come on... (from Dick's first meeting with Jason in B 416 - Jason attacked a group of criminals too hastily)
Dick: Now, who the hell are you? Tim: That doesn't matter now. Dick, look at this please. Dick: Kid, I don't like games. (from Dick's first-technically-second meeting with Tim in LPoD - Tim's been chasing him all around the circus, and although Dick doesn't yet know this, also broke into his apartment)
Bruce: You can trust her. Dick: Six months ago, that would've gotten you further than it will now. Now, I'm not sure it's enough. Bruce: What more would it take? Dick: An explanation of who she is for a start. (from Dick's first meeting with Cass in B: LotDK 120 - Bruce went AWOL for months and has now resurfaced with a protégé) Jason: It's a new world. It's not all backflips and balance bars. You were good. Were. But Gotham needs a tougher Robin now. Dick (internally): A sneaky, mean little punk. Maybe you hired him before the Joker could. (from the retold version of Dick's first meeting with Jason in N 104 - Bruce gave stupid instructions leading Jason to misunderstand and pick a fight with Dick)
Dick (internally, when he notices Damian's makeshift Robin costume): Damian's costume. Note to self: smack a clue into this kid. Damian: You're embarrassing me! Dick: You do that just fine on your own. (from Dick's first meeting with Damian in N 138 - Damian's probably scared, which means he's snarky; he's making rude remarks and resisting Dick and Tim's attempts to protect him)
Dick: What in the hell were - are - you thinking, throwing someone so reckless into the field like that? Babs: Gosh, Dick - I'm sorry I haven't spent more time trying to train a murderous little twit. (from right after Dick's first meeting with Steph in BG 5 - Steph accidentally froze Damian)
How much you weight these moments depends a lot on your personal aesthetic preferences! I love conflict, and Dick's initially kinda thorny relationships with his siblings are part of why I enjoy him as a character. I don't feel the need to "fix" this kind of grumpiness and honestly I don't even really see it as a flaw? Dick's not morally obliged to like his future siblings on first meeting them, and if he never got snappish with any siblings ever, no matter how annoying they were being, he'd be a lot less interesting to me personally.
For me, Dick's prickly side adds an important nuance to his characterization, and makes it more compelling. He's a human being, not a conduct book! His strength is that he's willing to reconsider his first impressions, not that he never has negative first impressions.
That said, obviously genre and context matter! I have enjoyed plenty of softer takes on the Batfamily in fanworks, and in a softer, gentler world like e.g. WFA, it would be weird to keep Dick's grumpier moments. Also, Dick obviously isn't 24/7 harsh to his siblings - he can also be really empathetic and protective, and although he never gets especially close to e.g. Steph, he does change his mind about her, and he's ultimately a huge source of emotional support to Tim and Damian (they grow on him! ... eventually).
In Conclusion
One of my favorite Dick stories of all time is Nightwing 139, and I think it nicely encapsulates how I see Dick's anger - it's an important contrast to his softer side. He's a person with an instinctive temper, and compassion and understanding aren't always immediate or easy or effortless for him. But he's also a loving person with a big heart, and it's the love that always matters to him in the end.
Here's Dick discovering that Tim is thinking about using the Lazarus Pit, getting angry, and leaping down to try to physically stop him ("He may not stop you, but I sure as hell will!")
Dick (sarcastically): So, Robin... you think maybe we can hug this out?
It's important to me that Dick's first instinct is to have a physical fight, not to try to talk! He does all the wrong things before he does the right thing! He doesn't magically know the right thing to say to Tim right away!
But doing the right thing matters to him, and Tim matters to him, which is why he gets there eventually. When Tim tears up Dick softens at once:
And in the end Dick backs off and lets Tim make the choice, which isn't easy or instinctive for him either! But it's the right thing to do, and it's what Tim needs to pull himself out of the power struggle and realize he's making a mistake, and then Tim stammers apologies and Dick reassures him and they do hug it out, and it's very tender:
Without Dick's anger, you don't have a lot of his stories. But his anger doesn't define him - he doesn't let it. As Dick puts it,
"Yeah, I get angry. Sometimes I get so pissed I want to break everything in sight. But everyone gets mad. Everyone gets frustrated. But I don't fight out of anger! I fight when there's something wrong that needs to be stopped! And that's why I'll never be you! I don't fight to kill - I fight to protect!
And that's a big part of why I think he's great.
#dick grayson#anyway this is a huge disorganized list but uhhh. enjoy? sdfsf#it's tricky to write about this because it's not like i don't enjoy super-soft takes on dick - i do!#dick's anger isn't gonna have a place in every single story especially in fanworks#and often part of the point of fanworks is to give us the softer moments that canon doesn't!#Dick often gets softened to contrast with other characters in fanworks and that makes sense too#but at the same time Dick's sharper edges are so important to me in the comics and a really big part of why i like him#and a big reason why a lot of nuDick's writing leaves me just bored#(i am a gremlin who likes to have gritty conflict in my comics!! softening things is what fanworks are for!!)#yes post-Crisis Dick can be prickly but he's prickly because he's a serious person who lives in a serious world with consequences#his parents' deaths MATTER to him. doing vigilante work right MATTERS to him. he gets touchy BECAUSE he cares so much!#and Dick's struggle with his emotions is what makes his softer side feel more real and meaningful to me <3#ask tag#prickly dick grayson my beloved
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Stuck at my mom's house until the 27th, can't finish the comic I was working on until then :( here's a rough Cowboy!pinup sketch of Bumblebee and some Breakbee + Piston angst:
#I'll delete this later i just want to talk about it :3#not featured: WHY Piston is pulling a [REDACTED] on their sire#rubbing my hands together like a fly ooooooh do i have some angst in the works for you guys i just don't have a perspective tool rl#Okay i had the idea of a cute Bumblebee and Breakdown in cowboy hats with a bonus piston but then i had an Idea#yes that but then follow up later when its time to pick a side piston does a cowboy accent very sadly like they have to pretend its not real#the REASON is s3 bee and break fighting in the dome and bee lost on his back with Break towering above him with a [REDACTED] pointed at him#and Piston is beating on the glass WAILING for them to stop#but the view point is slightly behind breaks so he's HUGE and bee is small and Piston is even smaller in the foreground#they stop fighting but Piston can not forgive their sire for that Piston took after Breaks they were thick as thieves but no no#they saw the look in his eye the fear in bee and he only stopped bc shockwave called him off yes he was hesitating to pull and shaking#like a leaf knowing he was being used like a rabid dog to take down the autobot he has to pretend to hate but Piston will always wonder#if he'd do it and they can't decide and it eats them alive but that's their carrier and forgiveness is not cheap#bumblebee does what he can to talk Piston down its just business he didn't really mean it they ve had centuries of faking it but Piston#oh sweet Piston childish days are over their spark has been hardened#they arent on a path of violence or vengeance but when breaks seeks them out âcome with me we can be a real family on cybertron â#piston says âwe already wereâ#and later later we land on the So i guess that's it....i guess so.... you best get on out of here then#AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#does piston ever forgive? no but they understand things kinda get better but it's different now#i think they're scared that they'll end up like breaks bc they're so much like him they looked up to him and loved him so much#and now they know they have the capacity to do something like that and be used like that and they're scared#just so so so SO scared and it bothers them breaks was forced into it and they just want to SCREAM#they just want to run away with their parents away from the war where no one can bother them and live quietly#transformers#maccadam#transformers oc#tf piston#worry not i shall draw these once I'm home#but i have a laundry list of other things i want to draw first
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me in my parents' room at night when i get my second wind
#yes i live with my parents don't @ me about it#my finances would not permit me to do otherwise#original#sam reid
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every so often i will see a post from a leftist on this website that is so egregiously ableist that i remember that like. oh yeah the userbase of leftists on this website is violently anti-disabled people and will jump at any chance to demonize any of us for any reason. i just forget that fact because i'm extremely dedicated to curating my space
i'm paraphrasing here but i saw a post that said, "every time i see an American [disabled person] mention being scared about the election because they're afraid of losing their benefits i have to laugh. anybody who wants blood-soaked money from the US government deserves to starve" which. like. goodness that's a lot to unpack. i think we should burn the whole suitcase instead !
#i inserted [disabled person] because they used a fucking slur instead and i didn't want that in my post#like i feel like there should be room for disabled people like me whose lives literally entirely depend on accessing said >#> extremely limited benefits in conversations about whether voting in this election makes you complicit in genocide#which like! i do understand. i do. it's nauseating to think about what this shit ass country is doing. it's horrific. i do not blame anyone#> for not wanting to be a part of that. *and* i am also terrified for my own life because i remember the first time trump won it suddenly >#> became IMPOSSIBLE for ANYONE to get on benefits. EVER. and so many disabled ppl i know went to renew benefits theyd had for decades >#> just to be denied. one of whom was a below-the-neck paraplegic. he died because he lost those benefits!!! because trump won#i really do understand why people dont feel right voting for harris. or why they don't vote at all. i truly do. but holy shit i am so scare#and yes! i am aware that people in palestine and gaza are suffering so much worse. and i wish i could change that#but every single person in power in the US is pro-israel and eagerly drinking the anti-palestine kool-aid. no matter who wins >#> things will not change in that part of the world. and it is infuriating. when the revolution comes this will change. but it hasnt.#the revolution will not save me as a physically disabled person. it will not save any of us. we do not matter to leftists. i am sorry but >#> this is the one thing i have learned after being in leftist spaces for over 10 years. and posts like the one i mentioned prove it#so i am very sorry. i really am. for being physically disabled. but i cannot survive another 4 years relying on my parents for everything#if trump wins i will be killing myself. this is a promise. i cannot do that again#i know it makes me a bad person to be afraid that harris will lose. but people on the left already think i'm a bad person for being disable#i want the genocide to stop. i absolutely do. i also want to survive. i am terrified that the US leftists will sacrifice disabled people#like me so they can feel good about being put in a real life trolley situation#again. im sorry. im so fucking sorry. i wish i was a better person. i wish i was able to give more. i know that if i was just a good#person i would be able to have a job and give to every palestinian gofundme on my dash. i would be able to do more than my daily clicks >#> and reaching out and calling representatives that don't care. if i was a good person i would be able to convince my parents that z*onism>#is deeply fucking racist. and that israel is wildly racist and killing palestinians for fun. if i was a good person i would be able to make#>them leftists too. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry im not good enough. im sorry that im scared. im so scared and it's not right for me to be#when so much worse is going on because of this countrys bloodlust. im sorry that im benefiting from being born here i dont want to be#im sorry for not having any other options. if i was a good person i know i would have them. im sorry. god im sorry im so fucking sorry
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