#yes i like to abuse the same 2-3 city brushes so what

[itsnicsalad]

i forgot what the og idea was for this,, they went n ditched grom for a human realm sunset idk

[littlechinesedoll]

A Single Man In Possession Of A Good Fortune, Must Be In Want Of A Wife aka that SuperBat ABO Regency AU - Chapter 4

tumblr: chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3 | Chapter 4

ao3 : chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3 | chapter 4

---

notes: bruce is very spoiled. and very loved.

also happy holidays and season’s greetings! this is a christmas present from me to you and i hope you like it.

---

The year before…

In the weeks after the disastrous dissolution of Bruce’s engagement to the younger Alpha Dent, as the bruise on his face fades, Bruce declines all social calls. He stays in Wayne Manor, in his room, attending to unfinished embroidery; in his study, reading, writing letter after letter to Veronica Vreeland; and playing gloomier and gloomier songs on the piano as the days go by. And if the mood strikes him, he visits the stables and feeds Ace, his beloved black stallion, an apple and brushes his mane, and takes him on a ride around the property and the surrounding foliage, accompanied by a beta named James Jr., one of the groomers.

He even declines his mother’s invitation to a shopping trip at Bond Street and stay at their city home in Soho Square.

“You’re due for a new dress! Or maybe we can visit that embroiderer you love so much for a new vest! We can get you a new necklace!” says Lady Wayne, lifting Bruce’s chin. “Silver, with your favorites, sapphire and pearl drops,”

Bruce has been reading the same page of the book he’s ready for who knows how long. “Do you think that’s what they represent? The sapphire and pearl drops?”

“What do you mean, darling?”

“Tears. My favorite jewels, shaped like teardrops,”

Lady Wayne pulls her son to her into an embrace. “Oh, my poor love,”

Just because Bruce doesn’t let them see how the engagement affected him, doesn’t mean he hadn’t cried about it. It’s not that he’s desperate to be married. He just doesn’t have any other choice but to be married into a good house that will provide for him. The social calls he received aren’t to say hello and cheer him up. They’re to pry information from his mother so the rumors can circulate longer, farther, reach more marriageable alphas, and with more truth: that he is not good enough for a wealthy, alpha barrister with high social standing, despite the truth a complete lie.

But after an uneventful supper, Bruce puts on a brave face and visits Thomas Jr. in his study, where he’s reviewing his letters. No use for shame now, despite it bleeding into every crevice of his body and corner of his mind.

“Are you busy?” he asks as the door clicks shut.

“Never for you, little brother,” the elder of the Wayne children says, setting aside the papers and emerging from the intimidating desk. He leads Bruce to settee near the window. “Mother says the unimaginable has happened. You didn’t want to go shopping,”

Bruce chuckles. “I’m in no mood for…society,”

“Goodness me,” Thomas Jr. says in mock surprise. “My little brother, turning down the chance to get pretty new clothes and jewelry,”

The omega sighs. “I hate him,”

Thomas Jr. gives him a fond look. “I despise him,”

“Is this a challenge? Who can hate him more?”

“Yes,” his brother answers. “And you win by letting go,”

Bruce huffs. “It’s easy for an alpha to let go, Tom,” he says. “He can deny hitting me and nobody will accuse him of lying. If you ever listen to anything these alphas say, I’m too much of everything they don’t want in a marriageable omega,”

“And what’s so wrong about being too much?” Thomas Jr. asks.

“This family might not be so rigid in the acceptance of James Fordyce’s views that the only purpose of an omega is to be loveable in the eyes of alphas, but the rest of society is. Omegas must do nothing to make their parents unhappy. And I have made them unhappy—Mother is mourning, and I am alive!”

“Bruce, darling,” Thomas Jr. takes Bruce’s hands in his and kisses his knuckles. “Dent made them unhappy. We know the truth—I heard him verbally abuse you; I saw him strike you. And believe me when I say that I am making all the effort of correcting whoever dares to besmirch your virtue.

“Mother and Father aren’t unhappy because of your failed engagement, Bruce. They’re unhappy, furious even, that their precious child was hurt by the very person, the mate, who is supposed to vow to protect and love him. Yes, you’re too much. Much too beautiful, intelligent, formidable. And they’re much too blind to see, much too intimidated to approach. These alphas don’t want to do the wooing. They want the omega to fall at their feet, and you are no such omega,”

No alpha will want an omega that is too much, Bruce wants to tell him. “If this…whole business with Mr. Dent causes this omega to never find a husband…” Bruce holds onto Thomas Jr.’s hands with his life. “I hope I won’t be a burden to you when you inherit the lordship, and that your wife will have the patience of a saint, having me under your care,”

“If my future wife ever so much as annoy you with the littlest thing, it is them who will be sent away,”

Bruce’s eyes widen in surprise. “What of an heir?”

“Maybe when they're done with one or two, maybe three to be certain, we can send them away,” Thomas Jr. winks.

The omega breathes in relief.

“I will always, always be here for you, little brother,” he presses a kiss to Bruce’s forehead. “Now, enough with the tears, my darling. How about new earrings to frame that beautiful face?”

“Tom, no,” Bruce says in attempt to dissuade him.

“I’m trying to cheer you up, Bruce—what about a tiara?”

That gets Bruce’s attention. “Tiara?”

Thomas Jr. grins. He'll do anything to make Bruce happy again. “Tiara it is,”

---

And a year later, Thomas Jr. doesn’t expect to have this conversation with his father.

“Are you sure, Father?” Thomas Jr. asks Lord Wayne.

“Is there anyone else better to secure a safe future for him?” the lord sighs, nursing a glass of French claret.

“Yes,” Thomas Jr. huffs. “Me,”

“Oh, shush, child,” Lord Wayne takes the decanter from the table and refills his son’s glass. “I’ll have none of your alpha pride today. I meant in marriage. Who knows what your wife will do to Bruce when I pass and they receive the ladyship from you,”

“You know I will do anything to protect Bruce, even from my wife,”

“And I am doing the same. This is what I believe is best for him now, even though I made a mistake in Dent,” Lord Wayne sounds tired. “All I want is for him to be happy, safe, and loved, just as we try to make him happy, and protect and love him,”

“Of course, that isn’t everything, is it?”

Thomas Jr. knows, of course, that for a secure future, omegas must marry up. Dent might not have been a peer of a realm, but his estate is enough. This time, though, with this engagement, Bruce will be joining a family with a higher rank, and will automatically become a marchioness once married to the Duke of Kent’s son, and then a duchess when marquess inherits the dukedom.

“He’s a lovely lad, boy, you’ve met him,” the elder Wayne reasons. “Don’t antagonize the Marquess, I beg you, Thomas. Bruce has suffered enough humiliation,”

“I will try, Father,”

The lord sighs again, the smiles as he recalls the thrill in Bruce’s face when the tiara arrived this morning. “Did he like the tiara, at least?”

Thomas Jr. chuckles and takes a swig of the wine. It took a year for it to be finished, set with sapphires and diamonds. “He’s absolutely delighted. Bewitched even. He's already looking for all the clothes and shoes that will match,”

---

Notes because I want to defend the income of Lord and Lady Wayne (Baron and Baroness) because of the casual way Thomas Jr. talks about commissioning a tiara like a painting. In Pride and Prejudice, Mr. Darcy earns £10,000 annually and that’s already…rich. Like, he’s really rich for the time, even richer than a lord because he has investments and businesses and whatnot. The Duke and Duchess of Kent might be at £10,000 like Mr. Darcy. I’ll put the Waynes at the top, with an absurd amount of money at £20,000 annually. For drama.

[ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa]

Footprints in the Sand

Part 5: ...Don’t

Summary/Author's Note: Okay, let's have a little conflict shall we? As you'll read in part 6, this story takes place seven years after King Robert's rebellion/the murder of Elia Martell and ten years BEFORE Oberyn vs the Mountain. That being said, I apologize in advance to Jaime Lannister lovers. I love him as much as the next person but this is prime pre-season 1, zero redeeming qualities, prince douche kingslayer, Jaime. So, I will write him as such. This is gonna hurt. Update: I cut this into two parts because it got away from me.

Pairing: Oberyn x Ellaria x Reader Word Count: 3.3k Rating/Warnings: (R/18+) Almost sex, Language, derogatory terms, mental/physical abuse, inappropriate cousin behavior (lookin’ at you JL), Protective!Oberyn, annnnnnggsssttttt, it’s gonna get worse before it gets better

|Parts| (1)(2)(3)(4) [MASTERLIST]

Waking up had never been one of your favorite things to do. The fact that the birds perched in the tree outside your window insisted on singing to the rising sun was always the thing you liked least about nature. Couldn't they wait to sing until they had a more willing audience? You started to roll over and shove your head under your pillow like you did every morning but you couldn't move. Unwilling to let your racing imagination cause you to panic, you opened your eyes and looked down to find the reason for your paralysis. A strong, tanned arm was flung over your waist, a possessive weight balanced against your bare skin. And then you remembered.

Oberyn breathed deeply against your neck, pausing only when you put your hand over his before he resumed his slumber. The heat of his body against your back was welcome as the crisp morning air fluttered in from the window that none of you had bothered to close. 

In front of you, Ellaria slept peacefully. Her hand was tucked under her cheek as her beautiful dark hair fell around her equally beautiful face and you had to stop yourself from reaching out and touching her. Her other hand rested on top of the silks, against your stomach as if where Oberyn's protective arm ended...hers began.

Was it possible to care about more than one person at the same time? You didn't know. You had never been asked such a question. A week ago you thought you would have known the answer to that question. Now, looking at the two people holding you while they slept, you weren't so sure. 

Oberyn stirred behind you and you felt his lips lightly brush the back of your neck. He pressed his prominent nose against your hair and inhaled deeply. His voice was low and soft, full of content and sleep as he said, "She is beautiful, no?"

You knew he was talking about Ellaria and nodded. "She really is."

"The two of you make a good pair," he said, moving his hand from your waist to push your hair away from your neck so he could nose your pulse point. 

"I don't know about that." 

"I do," he continued. 

"She's so much more than I am."

"It would hurt her to hear you say that." You felt him stiffen behind you before giving you a squeeze and saying, "She is cunning and wild. Yet nurturing and maternal. You are brave and kind. Intelligent yet understanding. Both of you possess a gentle heart." He laced his fingers with yours whispering against the shell of your ear. "Together you make the perfect woman."

You looked over your shoulder at him in disbelief. "Are you always this charming?" You joked, taking the focus off yourself. His words weighed heavy on your soul. He couldn't possibly know you well enough to say such beautiful things, but you wanted to believe that he did. 

"I would like to say yes, but Ellaria would tell you otherwise." He grinned. "I've been known to have a temper."

"I don't believe that," you said, looking into his dark brown eyes.

"You just haven't seen it yet," he raised his eyebrows a few times and you suppressed a laugh against his chest. Ellaria groaned in protest and rolled over, shoving her face into the pillow. When her breathing resumed it's pattern for sleep, Oberyn continued. "So, you're still not coming to Dorne?"

The question made your chest tight. How could he ask you that so soon after his proposal? You bit your lip and looked up at him, trying to keep your voice steady. 

"I--My life is here." You said as if that explained everything.

"And are you happy?" Oberyn asked and you had to fight to swallow the lump in your throat.

"I don't know." 

"That's not an answer." 

You turned over in his arms and touched his face. That strong, handsome face that after only a few days you knew you could pick out of a crowd of thousands. You kept your hand in his jaw as your gaze flickered down to his lips before kissing him gently. He knew you were avoiding the question. 

Feeling bold from the night before, you raised up on your arms, sliding your leg over his until you were straddling his waist. His cock, soft with sleep, started to harden as the movement caused him to press against the soft cheek of your ass. He looked up at you with a heavy gaze and you would have given anything to know what he was thinking as he put his hands on your waist gently. 

Did you want to go to Dorne? You didn’t know. Although you weren’t particularly fond of the heat, the idea of warm sands and ocean air did sound appealing. What you did know was that you felt a connection with the man under you, and the woman resting quietly at your side. And that was something you did want. You didn’t want your time with them to end just because they had to return to their homeland. Most of your life in King’s Landing, and before on Casterly Rock, had been lonely. You were used to being alone. You were good at it. But you had a taste of companionship, of sated intellect, and you knew it was going to hurt if you had to go back to a life without it. 

“If I go--to Dorne, I mean,” you started, putting your hands on Oberyn’s chest and moving your hips slightly to get more comfortable. 

“Yes?” he all but begged you to continue, tightening his grip on you--if you would stop moving he could focus better on your words instead of your body.

“Where would I live?”

“In the palace,” he said simply. “In the Watergardens of the Martells--with me and Ellaria.”

“And then?” You bit your lip, knowing the question was forward to say the least. “When this is over?” You knew it was an audacious assumption to even suggest such a man commit to you in any way. But it was a valid thought. When whatever this was had run its course, would you be stuck in a strange city to fend for yourself?

“I do not offer such a thing to just anyone,” he leaned up on his elbows, bringing his face closer to yours. “If you come to Dorne, this is not something that will end. You are not something to be tossed aside.” He put his large hand through your hair at your temple, brushing it back from your face. 

His words weighed heavy on your heart and you looked down at your hands on his chest. “Promise?”

He nodded with a growl and leaned forward to capture your lips in a bruising kiss that you returned equally. It didn’t answer every question you had but it was enough--at least for now. He turned you over, positioning himself on top of you as he settled between your legs. The three of you had spent the night in a triangle of tongues and hungry mouths. It was as if none of you could get enough of the taste of one another, but when it came to actually being inside you, Oberyn had held back. It was as if he worried the weight of his passion would scare you away. 

“What do you say, my lioness?” he said against your throat as he licked a hot line over your pulse point. You knew it was a double edged question as his cock pressed against your abdomen and as Dorne lay waiting on the other side of the world. 

You started to respond but a noise from downstairs made you stop short. A woman screamed and a few men yelled but their words were muffled by the floorboards and the stairs. Whoever it was sounded angry, that much was certain. Ellaria sat up, moving her thick curls from her eyes as she blinked, trying to clear the sleep from her vision.

"Oberyn?" She said, her voice sounding unsure for the first time since you had met her. 

The two of you froze and Oberyn lifted his head from your neck slowly, listening as the sounds continued on the floor below your room. He gently untangled himself from your arms and thighs before sliding out from under the silks.

"Stay here, my love." He spoke to Ellaria, but you knew he included you in that sentence as well. Oberyn gave you one last squeeze before standing to hastily pull on the pants he was wearing the day before. He reached under his pillow and pulled out a dagger, twisting it easily in his hand until the heavy handle rested in his palm. Had that been there all night?

The door to your chambers opened abruptly and you pulled the silk blanket to your naked chest. Oberyn had placed himself between the door and the bed before it even opened--between the women in his bed and whatever was coming up the stairs. You could still peer around his muscled back as the door swung open without so much as a knock. Two members of the King's Guard placed themselves on either side of the door, parting just enough to let an armored man walk between them. His helmet was balanced on his hip under his arm, his right hand balanced on the pommel of his sword as he took in the bedroom. 

He was broad, tall, and very blond. And unfortunately he was family.

"Jaime Lannister," Oberyn said, with a grin that was not at all pleasant. 

You cursed quietly under your breath and looked around for your clothes but didn't want to have to get out of the bed naked to retrieve them. You silently prayed that the world would open up beneath you and whatever god deemed it so would swallow you whole. 

"Oberyn Martell," Jaime said, smiling his perfect white smile in the direction of the other man. "I was under the impression you had already left for Dorne."

"Not yet," Oberyn said, as diplomatically as he could considering he still held his dagger. "I have a few more days in this lovely city."

Jaime threw his head back and laughed. "Oh, Martells have always been terrible liars."

"Our talent for bending the truth was lost to the Lannister's, I'm afraid." 

Jaime's eyes grew cold and he adjusted his stance, but Oberyn wasn't done speaking.

"What brings you to my room so early, Little Lannister?" Oberyn stuck the dagger in the belt of his pants and moved to the pitcher of wine that was on the table still covered in food from the night before. 

Jaime grit his teeth and his eyes fell to you for a moment once Oberyn was out of the way. "I've come to collect, (y/n)." 

Oberyn paused in the pouring of his wine and looked back at the other man. "Is that so?"

"Her uncle is worried." Jaime lied, but Oberyn wasn't fooled.

"Well, you may return to the castle and inform him of her good health," the prince waved his hand in the direction of the door and moved back to stand between you and the guards. 

"I'm afraid it's not that simple," Jaime handed his helm back to the guard on his left before taking a few steps into the room. He picked up your dress that was hanging over the fainting couch and brought it to his face, reveling in the soft fabric. "Why is it--" Jaime turned and made eye contact with you. "Whenever I'm asked to go find you...you're always on your back?" 

Jaime's vile grin made your stomach drop to the floor and you gripped the sheet against your breasts tighter. This couldn't be happening again. You were suddenly much younger and in the forest back on Casterly Rock. You felt like a child. Ashamed and alone. Oberyn didn't need to fight this battle for you, it wasn't his to fight. But apparently he felt differently.

"Watch it, boy," Oberyn said darkly, his hand moving back to the dagger. 

The movement caused the guards to draw their swords, metal sliding against sheath as the light caught the blades and Ellaria gasped. You couldn’t do this. You couldn't ask either of them to do this. 

"Or what?" Jaime raised an eyebrow.

"I am a prince of Dorne--"

"You're not my prince," Jaime said flatly. "And this is not Dorne." 

Ellaria started to reach for Oberyn but you found your voice. The cold that froze your body receded at the thought of either of them in danger because of you. 

"Enough," you said, sharply. "Stop." You stood up, keeping your body covered as best you could and held your hand out to Jaime for your dress. Jaime paused for a moment before throwing it forcefully at your chest. 

"Get dressed," he hissed. He jerked his head, motioning for his guards to wait outside. 

You waited for Jaime to leave too but he wouldn't budge. You turned your body away from him and tried to pull the dress on without losing the sheet, starting with the sleeves. Oberyn moved around the bed to stand behind you, using his body to effectively block Jaime's gaze. 

"(Y/n)," he said, lowering his voice. 

"Don't," you said, refusing to look at him as hot tears burned behind your eyes. You had been stupid for staying the night, for entertaining the idea that this, whatever this was, had a chance of working. You couldn’t go to Dorne because that meant abandoning your family. And you didn’t just abandon the Lannisters. It was a foolish fantasy, but that didn’t mean it didn't hurt. 

"You don't have to do this," Ellaria said, leaning across the bed and reaching for your hand. You shrugged her off and the hurt on her face felt like a dagger through your chest. 

"I do." You shook your head, dropping the sheet as you pulled your dress over your ass, letting the rest of the material fall. You grabbed your bodice off the table and refused to meet the gaze of your two companions. Oberyn grabbed your forearm as you tried to walk in front of him and you bit your lip. "Oberyn please don't do this. I'm not worth it."

"Don't you dare say such things," the Prince growled and you looked away from him. You blinked slowly, refusing to let any of the tears you carefully held in spill over. He took your chin in his hand and made you look back at his handsome face. "You never answered me."

"What?" You whispered, your voice cracking no matter how tightly you clenched your jaw. 

"Are you happy?" When you didn't answer, he asked again, "What do you want?"

You laughed bitterly and rubbed a tear off your cheek roughly with the palm of your hand. "I'm a Lannister, Oberyn. It doesn't matter what I want."

The sentence held a sense of finality that threatened to carve your heart in two. It didn't matter what you wanted, because the Lannister in your blood came first. It didn't matter back then and it didn't matter now. You wanted what you were made to want, it was as simple as that. Oberyn and Ellaria offered you freedom, but it was a freedom you could never have. And the sooner you made peace with that, the less it would hurt when you watched them sail away at the end of the week. 

"You cannot believe that--" Oberyn tried but you leaned up on your tiptoes and kissed his cheek gently, stopping his words.

"Thank you," you said softly against his skin and he closed his eyes tightly to savor the feeling of you close to him. You were saying goodbye without actually speaking the words into existence and the pain on his face was clear.

Jaime waited by the door with a smirk on his face that you wanted to cut off with Oberyn's dagger. He extended his arm to you and you shoved it away, grabbing your shoes instead. 

"Oberyn," Ellaria rose to her knees and looked at him pleadingly. She begged him wordlessly to stop this, to stop Jaime, to stop you from walking out that door and out of their safe haven. 

Oberyn ignored her, knowing that in this moment he was powerless. It was a feeling that he hated. “Jaime.” He said firmly enough that the two of you stopped in the doorway. Jaime kept his grip on your arm tight as he looked back at the prince. “Tell your father I will add this to his list of sins.”

Jaime grinned. “Oh, I will.”

He pulled you through the doorway without giving you a chance to look back and you had never hated him more. You hated him that day on Casterly Rock. And you hated him now. It made your heart feel sick and shriveled. 

He had little regard for the way you stumbled down the steps in your sandals that were only partially on. His grip being more than enough to keep you standing. The whores of the brothel watched as he pulled you out of the door like a lover scorned by your fornication. It was humiliating. It made your cheeks and neck burn with embarrassment when you knew you should have been worried about what would happen once you were back in the palace. 

“Let go,” you grit through your teeth as the two of you made it into the street. 

He mounted his horse wordlessly, throwing his leg over the beast with a grunt and adjusting the cloak that was clasped to his golden pauldrons. He offered a gloved hand down to you with a grin. 

“Come on, (y/n),” he said.

You looked at his hand in disgust before looking back up at him. “I can walk back on my own, thank you.” The words sounded childish to your own ears but you couldn’t bear the idea of giving Jaime the pleasure of dragging you back to your uncle. 

“I’m not asking,” he said, lowered his voice as he looked you in the eyes. 

You could feel people watching the two of you. You could only imagine what it looked like to those passing by--a half-dressed woman and the Kingslayer. Taking his hand reluctantly, you let him hoist you up into the saddle in front of him with your back pressed firmly against the steel of his gilded breastplate. You put your hands gently in the mane of the white mare and looked straight ahead stubbornly ignoring everything about the man behind you. 

Jaime wrapped one arm tightly around your waist as he grabbed the reins with the other. His breath was hot against your curls as he whispered in your ear. “See? That wasn’t hard. Since we seem to be making a habit of this, it would be more fun if you weren’t such a frigid bitch.”

He licked the shell of your ear and you jerked your head away from him in disgust. It made him chuckle as he clicked his heels against the animal’s haunches and the rest of the King’s Guard followed suit. 

Against your better judgement, you looked up at the second floor of the brothel, easily finding the window to the bedroom you had practically spent the last few days in. Not surprisingly, you found Oberyn staring out at you, his face was stoic but he couldn’t keep the pain he felt in his chest out of his eyes. Ellaria had her arms wrapped around his bicep, looking down at you in much the same way, before she glanced at Jamie and her expression turned venomous. Your heart lightened ever so slightly because you knew...this wasn’t over. 

________________

[Next Chapter]

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[physcoticfrog]

(idk what to call this, pretend it's a good title)

Description: From birth, your quirk had always been different, coming with black bat-like wings, but what happens when they get ripped from you during childhood? (Your quirk is a bat, coming with echolocation, and the whole package. You even have big ol ears).

Pairing: Keigo Takami (Hawks) x reader

Warnings: Mentions of abuse and depression, swearing

----------------------------------------------------------

Past

"Honey where are your parents?" You heard a sickly sweet but soft voice ask you.

"I don't know". That was your only answer. You knew what was going to happen. You were just scared.

"Honey we should probably go down to the police station, they'll help you." How come people are so ignorant? All you can do is wait now, and not say anything more.

"Hi ma'am, this is my little sister, we'll be on our way now" you heard a man say. You knew this. So why were you so scared?

Moments turned to minutes, minutes turned to hours, to days. You ended up being their puppet. After all, you could do pretty much everything they needed. There was just a small problem. You couldn't leave.

All you could hear were your screams bouncing off of the walls of the room as your wings were ripped from your back. Searing pain seized down your back, causing you to cry out in pain.

Soon enough, it was over. A man wrapped your wings, or what was left of them, in order to not cause infection. You had now come to terms with the fact that you will never out live this. This is your family, this is a part of you. You can never leave.

----------------------------------------------------------

Present

"Wait what!? Really! Thank you dad!" You hugged him, because he had just told you you could leave if you wanted, and there would be hell to pay if you didn't come back, but you could leave nonetheless.

"Awee I wanna come with too Shig" You heard Toga complain. Toga was younger than you, about the age of a high-schooler. Not that you were much older, just older still.

"Dad please can you let her? We won't be long, I promise" Dad. Shigaraki. The one who raised you, even though he was your age. Some people might say he would be more like a big brother, but he was kind to you. More so than the others. He fed you, let you be a kid sometimes. He was like a father figure of a sorts, so, you've come to respect him.

"No, y/n, you know this. You can't go out there with her, they know who she is. They don't know you. Just don't pull any dumb shit". You could settle for that. That actually sounded really good. You were just really happy to see sunlight for the first time in your life, without having to be in the confines of a fence.

"Alright. Well, I'm gonna find a coffee shop, I wanna know what it tastes like. How about I'll be back by, say, umm, 4:30? Latest 5:00?" You asked. How could he say no to that? It was a win-win, because it's already around 2:45, and you don't know your way around the streets.

"Ok, fine go. Make sure you call me immediately if anything goes wrong. Be home safe, ok?" See? That's full out dad mode right there.

"Yes dad, I know the drill." You were almost bouncing out of the door when you were ready to go.

You were wearing your newest pair of clothes, of course, slightly stained but that's because Dabi, who is more like a brother to you, decided to steal them from a corner store. It was a black crop top, with two little holes cut in the back for the small nubs poking from your back. You had to convince Dabi to cut them for you, since you can't place where that at.

You also wore high-rise black jeans, and a belt that cinched your waist. Dabi knew you all too well, and knew that you've been wanting an outfit like that for a while. No rips in the jeans either, which was a surprise. You of course wore socks, but they had a lot of holes in them. But your shoes covered them perfectly. They were white and the went up past your ankle. You thought you looked perfect, especially for your first day out.

When, you stepped out, you quickly felt a breeze brush past your face, and it felt amazing. It was a true fresh breath of air. You walked around for a bit, and then saw it. There were people going in and out of it, but not as many as you thought.

When you walked in, you smelled something that almost smelled bitter, but sweet. Is it chocolate? Coffee maybe? You couldn't tell, since you never had either. When it was your turn to order, you picked the first thing that caught your eye. A chocolate drizzled frappuchino.

"U-um hi, can I get a chocolate drizzled f-frappuchino?" You said shyly, you're voice coming out more squeeky than you had thought. She was very kind, and said, well you don't really know what she said. It got drowned out by your thoughts.

Something caught your eye, it was a glance of red, almost like blood. Too much, like blood.

"Would you like a small, medium or large?". What? You had to choose? There's a difference? Oh no. Oh no oh nOoO. What do you say?

The lady must've noticed, and immediately said "Would you like a medium, it's perfect for if you want to stay but not for too long". You felt thankful that she said that, and you immediately nodded your head, heading over to the small waiting line.

You catch another glance of red, looking up immediately. You were stunned. He looked so familiar, your pretty sure you've seen him in the pictures from Shigaraki's plans. Then it clicked. All the information he told you about him.

Hero name: Hawks. Actual name : Keigo Takami. Quirk: Fierce wings, he can fly, and telepathically control the feathers that he uses. Number two fucking hero. Great. Now Dad definitely will want you back home. But for now you leave it alone, and don't pay much mind to it. You want to enjoy your first day out.

When a different lady calls your name from the counter, you walk over and take the cup and the straw. There is a fluffy substance on top, along with what you think is chocolate drizzled into the cup. You put the straw in the cup and felt at peace. You then took a sip. It's absolutely divine.

You look away for a second, and then you notice Keigo walking towards you, but you pretend to not see him and make your way towards a table.

"Hi there, you must be new around this place." You freeze. He's talking to you. Right here. Right now.

"Um, yeah I- I don't really come around this city much." You lie. You've been around plenty of times. Just not as many outside as in.

"Oh, well this place has the best coffee, anywhere in Japan, so I think you're in luck. You should come around here more often. By the way, I'm Hawks. But you can call me Takami." He said, a smile on his face. Not smug or anything, just content. Something you're not used to doing.

"U- uh okay. My dad normally doesn't let me out of the house much. I guess you can call me y/l/n." You say, not lying, but not giving the entire truth.

And then you remember it. You're wings. His wings. The way he glanced at your back when you turned away. Shit, why do you let yourself get so carried away.

"O-oh well I should get going then, I have a bad habit of over sharing." You say, that odd feeling of over sharing. But before you can leave he says,

"I'm all ears if you've got time". This time it was a familiar smile. It was a smug one almost cocky. You debated it, hit decided it would be fine, as long as you don't mention the League.

Once you start rambling he is interested, watching intently as you talk. Him asking the occasional question. And then there it was, that question. "Hey, I know it's odd but I noticed your back. It looks like there were wings there, because it looks similar to when I use all my feathers in a fight. If you don't want to explain you don't have to." He said. You started shaking. Do I want to? I'd this ok? You thought.

"Well, it's a really long story. But when I was younger, my uh... Uncles, ripped off my wings. They were afraid I would leave them. I would fly away. I wanted to become a hero, by that was torn away with my wings." You say.

"Oh wow. You know, it's ok, right? That you might now have them. Who knows, they might even grow back!" He said cheerfully.

"actually..." He stopped once you started talking, "the doctor said if they don't grow back in ten years they will never show up again. It's been 15 years. But it's ok. Who knows I may just sprout some wings soon." You say trying to be sarcastic. Because in all reality, you don't know.

"Well, I hope to see you around. Ask your dad if we can meet up again soon." Hold on. How did the number two pro hero just ask you to hangout again?

"Maybe. My- my Dad is actually pretty strict, and he doesn't really like the idea.." You take a deep breath. "..of Heroes." You say, almost quietly. You really wanted to hang out, but just couldn't. Probably. "Wait! Hold up- I could just say I'm going out for coffee instead of meeting up with you!" You decided to say. A little more enthusiastic than you wanted.

"That works!" He said, matching your energy.

You guys continued to talk, about anything and everything. By the time 4:00 rolled around, you had decided on two days from today. At the same time. About 3:15.

When you headed back, it was 4:30 on the spot. The only issue: He was there. Hawks.

"What are you doing here?!" You whispered. This was no place for a hero. Especially Hawks. He couldn't take everyone on without dying.

"Same question to you." He whispered back.

"I'll explain at the café" you told him. What else were you supposed to do? Talk to him freely now?

"Dad, what's he doing here?" You said, talking about Hawks. You could tell that he knew who you were talking about.

"He's just here... For business." You weren't buying it, but what choice did you have?

----------------------------------------------------------

Two days later

"Hey.." You start. You know he knows. And he knows you know. You were just hoping you two could explain it all today.

"Hi." He said. He had no expression in his face. He normally wore a smile or a light hearted expression. But this was different. There was no smile. It was blank. Unreadable.

"So, I'm going to get straight to the point. I live there. That is my home. I don't have a choice. I didn't get to 'join' them. When I was about 4 or 5 years old, and my parents had died. They died because of a car crash. Apparently, they worked with the villains. A man, who might have been in his thirties took me to the hideout. After about a year, I went out through the door to see what the sun was like. They didn't like that." You continued. "Then they ripped off my wings. I still have all of my abilities, but nothing more. That's why I stay. If I leave, they will hunt me down. I want to leave, but I can't. Shigaraki- he's like my dad. He is only a few months older than me, but he still cared for me when no one else did. He helped me. And I won't judge you for being there either since I don't know your story. I just want to know why you, of all people, the number two fucking hero, was there." That's all you said. You stopped. And waited for him to say something.

Soon enough, his voice came out smooth, and soft. Not judging. But still serious, and him. "I'm working there- shit I'm really not supposed to tell anyone this." He took a deep breath. "I'm a spy. I'm not truly working for them, but I have to make it seem like it. Im only surprised, because I have never seen you there. Not once until yesterday. I truly am dedicated to being a hero, which is why I'm working with the league. I don't truly want to, but it helps the hero cause. Where have you been? How come I haven't ever seen you?" He asked. You answered.

"Dad doesn't like me being around for the meetings. He makes me go upstairs, and I stay there until he tells Toga or Dabi to come get me. I'm not part of the front line team. I'm the brains behind it. I have no choice but to plan it all out. The only reason I continue, is because I don't know how to stop."

That's how your 45 minute "date" went. Back and forth you two had questions and answers. You decided on meeting up every two days. Same time, same place.

Again, here you two are. Talking. And even laughing. Which you hadn't done since you were a teenager. "Yeah, I don't know where he thinks he'll get keeping me in my room, I can still hear everything. Just faintly. Can't make out individual voices."

He looked playfully dramatic shocked. "Now my quirk looks weak compared to yours." What? He really thought that? You felt a blush creep on to your cheeks.

"R- Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, in the best of ways, you literally are a bat. Everything about you. Except for, well, you."

"But how is my quirk better than yours?"

"Sweetheart, I literally can only fly and use my feathers. Even then, the more feathers I use the more difficult it is for me to fly." Really? There was more to it, you were sure. Wait- did he just call you sweetheart? The blush that crept on to your cheeks was a dark shade of pink.

"There's gotta be at least s-some speed boost o-or something, right?" The conversation continued, up until it was time for you to leave.

"Oh, and y/l/n, your wings are growing again." He said with a happy smile.

----------------------------------------------------------

A/n: this might become a series, so stay tuned I guess. Bye for now 🙃

[dolcetters]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; mun & muse - meme.

TAGGED BY: @hyaciiintho​ ( ;-; AAA THANK!!! )

TAGGING (don’t feel obligated to do it!): @forsakenflora , @avadite , @yinseal , @inseparabilum , @reigningsniper , @tsume-awase​ , @canisfuria​ & YOU if you wanna!

FILL OUT & REPOST ♥ this meme definitely favors canons more, but i hope oc’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. multi-muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

----------------------------------------------------

MY MUSE IS:   CANON / OC / AU / CANON-DIVERGENT / FANDOMLESS

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES  / NO / IDK (he’s fetishized a lot; thanks, i hate it)

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK (i’d lean more toward no)

Are they underrated?  YES / NO

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO / MAYBE (stares into the abyss)

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO / MAYBE

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL (true neutral, my boy)

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON? ♠ || i have an ongoing joke that “canon is a slab of meat that we slow-roast at 475 degrees and carve for the juicy bits” but at the same time it’s not a joke at all, i’m being perfectly serious. i’m definitely a lot less strict than when i started for writing canon characters way back yonder, but i also DO like to keep within an array of canon boundaries because i’m not writing for an OC in this instance, i’m writing for an established character. ...it also doesn’t help that my character’s handled differently in the 4 types of media he shows up in but. i grew up reading DC comics and writing for beast boy, so i’m kind of used to “multiple takes existing for singular character”. 

that being said, my take on dol is clearly canon divergent (since... he’s alive and my default verse takes place after the nest raid) but it pulls primarily from brotherhood/manga with a couple dashes of 2k3 series (since that’s the only media that gives us a length of time that he was in the labs). but given that i follow along with just about every scrap of information provided in the manga on this clown, i’d say i follow canon fairly strictly... but there ain’t a lot to go off of, so my reins are pretty loose no matter how you look at it. my city now.

SELL YOUR MUSE! AKA TRY TO LIST EVERYTHING, WHICH MAKES YOUR MUSE INTERESTING IN YOUR OPINION TO MAKE THEM SPICY FOR YOUR MUTUALS.   ♠ || (*￣3￣)╭ well, hello, there. aware of dog? yes. this is he: dolcetto mcgrouchyboots, and he is not happy to be here at all. he is traumatized, sassy, wants to throw hands with teenagers, has no sense of self worth, and will absolutely use himself as a meat shield in order to protect any and everyone he cares about. he is spliced with: dog. his favorite weapon: sword. if you listen carefully, you might hear dog-song rising on the east wind as he approaches (don’t tell him axel taped a cassette player to his back). he comes from a found family of complete and utter morons with a lot of damage, they live in a partially underground bar, work as information brokers, and are all DEFINITELY fully functioning adult people. they say gay and trans rights. if you like angry boys with a sense of humor semi-on-par with griffin mcelroy, this is the boy for YOU!!! 

NOW THE OPPOSITE, LIST EVERYTHING WHY YOUR MUSE COULD NOT BE SO INTERESTING (EVEN IF YOU MAY NOT AGREE, WHAT DOES THE FANDOM PERHAPS THINK?).   ♠ ||  he’s only featured in a handful of episodes/chapters across all media, doesn’t have a significant amount of dialogue, and we only ever see him lose to the protagonist(s) despite that he seems more than capable of fighting anyone else. easy to brush off as a “aw he died and that’s sad but we didn’t really know him, moving on”. from what i’ve seen in my years, people are more interested in him being a cog in the machine of “greed is sad” and less interested in... HIM. which is fair, i guess, but hhhhhh

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE?   ♠ || i don’t know if i can pin-point any ONE thing, but i’ve always been drawn to characters with some sort of connection or bond with animals (example, once again, being beast boy from teen titans). i also have an IMMENSE weakness for the found-family dynamic. so when the devil’s nest appeared during my first watch through of brotherhood, i was pretty much... hooked. immediately. and devastated. immediately. as for what drew me to writing dol, specifically... probably his loyalty, his drive, the fact that he WOULDN’T FUCKING STAY DOWN no matter how many times someone knocked him flat on his face. i vibe with that. grew up very much in the mentality of “fall down 7 times, get up 8″. also, he had a sword... which always beats guns on coolness factor. and i loved his fire. ...and that he was a complete fucking idiot who’s really bad at kidnapping i mean HOLY SHIT THAT’S HOW YOU TRIED TO GET HIM TO COME WITH YOU, DOLCETTO, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING--

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING? ♠ ||  dol has always been a great source of ...venting for me? <xD ever since i started writing him, i’ve always found his muse--specifically--to be extremely cathartic and comforting. i dunno if it’s because he lets the more... jaded side of me come out, even when we’re both trying to be optimistic? 

because i’ve been in 2 emotionally abusive friendships. i definitely have some left over hurt, pent up anger that hasn’t been given closure, a hell of a lot of underlying bitterness that i never got the opportunity to confront those people, BUT i still try to be. y’know. welcoming, friendly, supportive, despite a voice in the back of my head being paranoid?? i think dol continues to give me outlets to expressing that. somehow. not that i use him as an excuse to do it, more so i have more opportunities to do it when i’m writing him as opposed to writing someone like beast boy, who’s usually more on board with keeping the peace than picking a fight. i’ve also invested SO MUCH TIME and ENERGY into his background and headcanons and things that i kind of can’t quit him now, nor do i want to.

... and aside from that i just want him to have a happy ending god, fucking damnit. 

SOME MORE PERSONAL QUESTIONS FOR THE MUN.

give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO ( or i certainly hope so )

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES  / NO

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day?  YES / NO

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO ( definitely have moments but eh! ) 

Are you a sensitive person?  YES  / NO ( kind of... varies. i’d say i’m more hyper aware)

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?   ♠ || i definitely like to think i do when it comes to pre-established things in canon. but when it comes to what i’ve built on my own over my years of writing for dol (and the nest members as a whole), it’s kind of my sandbox and i’d appreciate you not stomp around in it. 

unless i need to be learned a thing, like... one of the nest members, vi, is a trans-woman. i’m a cis-woman and i try to do as much research as i can and educate myself, but if i ever fuck something up please tell me, i’m doing my best but i’m more than willing to listen. i want to grow.

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?   ♠ || pretty sure everyone does! >xD but yeah! i FUCKING love it. especially since i’m writing for a minor character. =//o//= it shows people are interested in him despite his overall lack of content.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?   ♠ || i’d definitely be curious as to why but i doubt i’d be offended or take ... any personal harm from it--y’know? it’d be more of a “let me hear your perspective and maybe it’ll expand my own understanding, or i might not agree after the explanation and that’s cool”! 

an exception would be for an obviously shitty one that’s shitty for no reason, like... acTUALlY, he’s TOtaLLY hom///o///pho//bic, to which i’d be like “bitch, no, get away from me; no one in this bar is straight, die mad”.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT?   ♠ || again, it’s cool! there’s not a lot of canon material so you can take his portrayal a variety of places. if we don’t jive, it’s pretty whatever. 

my one exception to this is probably people who, in the past, have told me i write him being “too mean”. which will never cease to confuse me. because even after al straight told dolcetto he was 14, dol was still like “I REALLY WANNA SMACK HIM but i’d just hurt my hand so you’re off the hook”, he’s angry like 85% of his dialogue in the manga... i’m just confused. where are you seeing the “uwu pupper~” persona. you can write it, that’s fine, i don’t care, just don’t get irritable when i don’t write him like a cute puppy. because here he is. suggesting we just kill izumi because she’s being troublesome. yeet. ...he’s an asshole.

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?   ♠ || whatever, just don’t be a dick or speak badly about me or him in my presence because, flawed as he is and while i won’t make excuses for him, i’ll stand up for him. go somewhere else, my dude. i, personally, don’t have the energy for your negativity. nor do i have the patience.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS?   ♠ ||  i’m more okay with people correcting my spelling (gently). because of the way i taught myself to read, i’d be FUCKED if auto-correct or spell-check didn’t exist. i also google correct spellings constantly. so spelling, yeah, i already know that i’m terrible at it so feel free to correct type-os or spelling mishaps, it ain’t no thang. 

grammar i’m a bit... pickier about. because sometimes i’ll purposely do a “grammatical error” because the punctuation or otherwise further drives the pacing or mood i’m trying to give my writing. i may not know ALL the rules but i break them from time to time... FOR THE ART.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN?   ♠ || i wanna say i am?? while i definitely do want to seriously explore and flesh out and grow dol as a muse and character, i’m “not above” goofing around, poking fun at him, or just being plain silly on the dash. RPing is escapism for me and i strive to keep my blog a peaceful safe haven on the dashboard, both for myself and my followers. 

i try to communicate to the best of my ability and despite my anxieties, and while i may not be able to follow or RP with EVERYONE (for obvious reasons) i’m open to interacting with ... pretty much anyone who throws me a bone. i’ll speak up if i’m not down for a plot or interested in a certain relationship or interaction, but i’m certainly not going to be rude or dismissive about it. i know what that feels like. i’d say yeah, though! i think i’m pretty chill. e-e you tell me.

[vincent-frankenstein]

To My Heart and Soul

[ 1 | 2 | 3 | you are here | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | read on AO3 ]

Warnings: major character death, villain/abusive deceit, blood, fighting, panic attacks, creepy imagery

Pairings: logince, hints of moxiety, a tiny smidge of remile and past abusive anxceit

“What are you reading?”

They stood before a nondescript little cafe, wedged into a street corner. The garden out from buzzed with bees and butterflies and friendly patrons, and the air buzzed with the scent of coffee and freshly-baked pastries. Logan’s breath hitched in his throat and he tugged at his tie, trying to choke the broken glass back to his chest where it belonged.

He sighed, barely offering the stranger a glance. “I am doing my homework. Can I help you?”

The stranger dropped into the chair beside him, looking over Logan’s shoulder at his biology textbook. He couldn’t have been older than Logan himself — his deep brown face round and youthful and sprinkled with a constellation of freckles, his curly hair soft and resplendent beneath the afternoon sun. “You look interesting.”

“This is it,” Patton said, setting his hands on his hips. His strange, fantastical outfit stuck out like a sore thumb, but no one paid him any mind, their gazes simply sliding over him like he didn’t exist. “The entrance to the magical world.”

Logan barely heard him.

“I’m Roman!” the stranger said, in a voice like the sunrise, as he fixed Logan with his blinding green gaze. “Roman Cygnus.”

“Logan,” he said indifferently, ignoring the way the boy’s smile made his heart kick into overdrive. “Now, would you mind leaving me alone? I’m in the middle of something.”

He didn’t leave Logan alone, not then, not ever. Logan didn’t mind nearly as much as he’d pretended to. Roman was the first to see him for him and not look away. Even now, in death, he refused to leave Logan be — through memories, through dreams, he was always there, a reminder of what Logan once had.

A reminder of what he’d lost.

His vision tunneled. His hands tightened around his tie. He couldn’t push the memories away, try as he might, and just the hint of Roman’s voice threading through his thoughts sent ice through his veins.

“Logan?” He shook himself from his stupor to find Patton staring at him, eyes full of concern. Clarity broke through the fog in his mind and he shook his head, clasping his hands firmly behind his back to hide the way they shook.

“Apologies,” he said, evenly. “I am fine.”

Patton raised an eyebrow. “You don’t look fine, kiddo,” he said softly. “What’s going on?”

Ah. It seemed Patton had the same ability Roman had, to see right through his unaffected exterior into the less desirable mess within. How fun. “I —” Logan cleared his throat. “This is where we first met. Roman and I, I mean. I was simply… lost in memories. I apologize.”

“Oh.” Patton’s face softened further, if that was even possible. The man seemed to be made of softness. “He used to hang out here all the time,” he said, holding the clasp at his throat again. “He’d come home and tell the whole family about his adventures in your world. He loved it here.”

“Did he ever —” Logan’s voice caught and he stopped himself, staring resolutely at the ground.

“He did. All the time.” Patton smiled, and this time it reached his eyes, warm nostalgia swirling through the sadness in his gaze. “You were his greatest adventure of all.”

And oh, if that didn’t take the broken glass and shatter it further, crush it into dust to crawl up his throat and choke him. He shook his head as Patton moved into the alley beside the cafe, forcing memories — a smile, a ring, a lilting voice; “will you be my greatest adventure, stardust?” — away as he followed. It hit him, then, that Patton really knew Roman, more than Logan had.

And that hurt, of course, but… it felt nice, to talk to someone who knew what sort of light the world had lost. The cold in his lungs began to ebb away, and a hint of warmth took its place, almost burning it its newness.

“Stand back,” Patton said, his hands glowing again, casting warping shadows across the wall and bathing them both in stark blue light. He placed his palms against the dirty wall, and liquid gold spread from his touch, dripping down the wall, sliding in curves and swirls and beautiful arcs to form a twisting circle of symbols and runes. He drew his hands back and pushed into the center of the circle, and the wall fell inwards on itself in a swirl of drywall and wind, leaving a glowing entranceway burned into the bricks.

Logan gaped. For once, words failed him. In his shock, he hadn’t really considered how exciting this all was; a new world, with so many new things to be learned, so many new discoveries to be made. That familiar buzz of curiosity jumped to life within and he found himself smiling, eyes shining with possibilities.

Patton giggled. With a snap of his fingers, the residual magic dusted across his hands puffed out around them, and he gathered it into a soft, glowing ball by weaving his hands through the air. “Guess you found that pretty en-light-ening,” he joked, flicking the ball at Logan. It popped across his nose, showering him in sparkles.

He sneezed. “I am choosing to ignore that,” he said sharply, brushing a finger along his cheek. It came away covered in glitter, which glimmered for a moment before vanishing into thin air, leaving only warmth in its wake. Patton only laughed harder.

“Aw, c’mon, teach! I think I deserve a Patton the back for that one!”

“Was — was that a self-referential pun?”

“Maybe.” Patton winked slyly and Logan’s eye twitched. “Okay! Let’s get goin’. I’ve gotta gather the Council before everyone leaves for the day.”

“The Council?” Logan asked, running his fingertip along the molten gold still dripping down the wall.

“Yeah! The Arcane Council,” Patton explained. “A group of representatives from each major magical community across America. They run our world, and handle relations with yours. I’m the leader of the New York branch!”

“Really?” They stepped through the gateway, and into a tiny little shop, sheltered under a bright fabric awning. It was mostly empty, save for a friendly-looking shopkeep who waved at Patton as they made their way through.

“Yep! I wasn’t supposed to be, though.” He shrugged, eyebrows furrowing just the slightest bit. “Roman was. But he gave up his title to be with you, so I had to take his place. It’s okay, though! I get to keep everyone in magical New York safe! I”m like — like New York’s dad.”

Logan frowned. “Why… why did Roman give up his title?”

“Well, there’s not that much magic in your world,” Patton explained. “Not enough for us to stay for long, at least. We need it to survive. By giving up his magic, Roman could stay in your world, with you, but he can’t exactly protect New York from there! So he gave up his title to me.”

“He… did that for me?” For all the time Logan had known him, Roman clung to the idea of magic, from fantasy novels to Disney movies and everything in between. He loved it. Why would he give that up for a boring world, for a boring man?

“Well, yeah,” Patton said. “He loved you.”

Logan didn’t — couldn’t — respond. His throat closed up, his voice dying before he could even formulate the words. He knew that. He knew that. Why did it hurt so badly to hear?

Together, they stepped out of the shop, and out onto the street beyond — and the air was knocked from Logan’s lungs. His eyes widened, his mouth hanging open in awe. A city of stained glass glimmered back at him beneath a bright afternoon sun, iridescent, resplendent. Vaguely, he recognized the layout, knew it to be identical to the New York from his own world, but the beauty before him was impossible to reconcile with the busy, dirty city he knew. A small crowd milled about in the cobblestone streets, bathed in a kaleidoscope of colors reflecting off the buildings.

And above the buildings, blazing bright enough to be seen even in the afternoon sunlight, was a familiar constellation that sent a pang through his heart. Cygnus. Around it glimmered others, fainter but still beautiful, stars and constellations that he didn’t recognize. The mere idea of a whole new cosmos to learn about filled his heart with wonder.

“This is… fascinating,” he breathed, eyes wide and filled with awe. “How is this even possible?”

“It’s another layer of reality,” Patton said. “Layered on top of yours, sorta? I’m not the best at explaining. When we’ve got everything sorted out, I can take you to Professor Ceres at the university! He studies the magical dimensions.”

“There’s a university?” Logan’s brain had shifted into overdrive, a million questions bursting like fireworks in his mind. “This — I — I want to learn everything.”

“Well, someone’s enthusiastic!” Patton chuckled, patting Logan on the back. “Let’s just take things one step at a time, okay, kiddo? First things first, we’ve gotta find the council and figure this whole mess out.”

“Right. Yes. Of course.” Logan’s cheeks darkened and he cleared his throat. “Apologies.”

“It’s okay! I can’t imagine being in your shoes right now,” Patton said with an easygoing laugh. “This place really is something, huh?”

“Yes,” Logan said. He shook his head to clear away his questions, noting them away for later. Only one remained, a burning question that he couldn’t wait to ask. “May I ask you one thing, before we see the council?”

“‘Course, kiddo!”

“Who is Dorian?”

Patton’s whole demeanor shifted. All at once, he seemed smaller, hunching in on himself. His eyebrows furrowed. “Someone who I thought was dead,” he said quietly.

“Yes, so you’ve said. You… you seem so… frightened, of him,” Logan continued. A part of him felt bad for pressing Patton, but he needed answers. “Was he a bad person?”

“Well… yes,” he said, forcing the word out as if it hurt to say. “He wasn’t always, but… after Roman died, he hurt a lot of people. He tried to take my title, thought it was his ‘right.’”

“Why would he think that?”

Patton sighed. “Because it was,” he said, hugging himself. “Dorian was my brother.”

[puppetwritings]

Please! This isn’t a Game! || Pt. 2 || Jeonghan

Pt. 1 // Pt. 2 // Pt. 3 // Pt. 4 // Pt. 5 // Pt. 6 //

➢ Word Count: 3259

➢ Genre: sci-fi, fantasy, fluff, comedy, transmigration

➢ Summary: What do you do when you get thrown into an unknown world? Well, Jeonghan sure as heck does not know.

——–

Just outside the outskirts of the city, past a forest and on a hill, stood a large, haunting Victorian castle. Near it was a large lake and behind it was an even larger yard that carried high-tech machinery and weapons. Inside, were students that range from twenty to twenty-eight years old, all mingling from first year to fourth year.

Down a hall with portraits of the previous deans on the wall, walked the student body president. You made a left, then a right, and then halted and stared at the crowd of students breaking their necks to stare out the window.

“Ah! Y/N,” Mari, your friend, rushed over and grabbed your hand. “Y/N, there’s a new student.”

“Of course, there are new students,” you said. “The testing just finished.”

“No, but there’s an amazing new student,” a boy named Don piped up. “My sister said he’s a hero.”

Another student nodded. “I heard he was used as a diversion so General Yoon and Major Yoon could take out a large portion of the Mutated Butterflies.”

“Is that so?” you tilted your head and inched forward. You looked out the window to see the sleek, black limousine that belonged to the Yoon family.

The dean was stooped down to speak into the car window. A long moment later, the door opened and a slim young man walked out. His hair was a soft brown and rested against his forehead, only to be moved by the spring breeze. He already wore the uniform. A crisp white…wait.

“White! Y/N, he’s wearing white!” Mari excitedly shook you. “That means he’s part of the elite class, isn’t he?!”

“The tie. He’s also in the accelerated class,” another student pointed out.

“Y/N, he’s the same year as you then!”

“Oh god, I wonder what class he’s in?”

“Do you think it’ll be E24 or E13?”

“If he’s good enough to be in the accelerated course, he must be in E13!”

Your brows furrowed in annoyance and you pulled away from the crowd. You patrolled the halls for about thirty minutes longer before entering your classroom, E13.

No one was there yet. There was still twenty minutes before class but you sat down at your desk and pulled out the materials for class when the door swung open. The slim young man walked in. His eyes quickly scanned the room before landing on you.

He smiled.

You frowned.

Jeonghan awkwardly cleared his throat but walked over anyway. “My name is Yoon Jeonghan. This is where class E13 is, right?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you,” Jeonghan waited a heartbeat for you to give our name, but when you didn’t he cheerfully brushed it off and went to find a seat far away from you.

You stared at him. This was Yoon Taewook’s brother. He looked like him, despite having different mothers. Their noses were inherited from their father but their other features seemed to be from their mothers. They were handsome, as their father was back in the day. While Taewook was the same unapproachable handsome, Jeonghan felt like a warm summer’s day—especially when he smiled. Yet somehow, behind his eyes, you could feel the same hardened soul that Taewook had. Maybe it was their father that made them this way.

Jeonghan felt you staring at him but did nothing. He silently called the system over. “Who is she?”

“She?” the system shifted through the colors of the rainbow. “Not sure. She’s not in host’s memory files and she isn’t in the system of the world, so she must not be anyone important.”

“Then what of the school? Search smaller, won’t you?” Jeonghan said, sounding exasperated.

The system did as it was commanded. “Her name is Y/N. She’s a third year in the elite course. She’ll graduate a year after you. However, in the original timeline, it says that she dropped out before she finished her fourth year.”

“Huh…”

“Does host have something on his mind?”

“Yes, I always have something on my mind. How else would I remain so brilliant?”

The system turned an impatient orange but Jeonghan didn’t expand on the subject. The small ball of a system floated to a corner and began to sulk. It was drained. It’s only been a week and it was already drained.

Jeonghan felt eyes on him all during class, but he only turned his head to ignore them and stared out the window the entire time. This created an ethereal picture of a fairy prince that just walked out of an oil painting. The girls sighed in admiration at such a lovely image but the guys’ expressions turned ugly.

When class was dismissed for a day, a few of the friendlier students walked over and started up a conversation.

Jeonghan awkwardly glanced out the window and sheepishly packed up his things. “Sorry, I have to go. My ride is here.”

“You don’t live in the dorms?” Mari asked.

“No, I, uh,” Jeonghan turned pink. His voice grew quiet and he seemed to shrink back a little, creating a pitiful image. “My father wouldn’t allow me to.”

The looks on the surrounding students’ faces turned sour. With Jeonghan’s appearance and his words, it seemed that his father was really mistreating him. Taewook was allowed to stay in the dorms, so why wasn’t Jeonghan? And why did Jeonghan look so scared about going home?!

“I’ll—I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” Jeonghan quickly pushed passed the crowd and jogged out of the school building.

Mari wandered back over to you with a frown. She put a hand on your desk to get your attention. You pulled down your headphones and looked at her expectantly.

“Do you think Jeonghan’s dad abuses him?” Mari asked, concern laced in her voice.

You raised an eyebrow. You looked back at the door. “I think he’s acting.”

“Acting?” Mari looked surprised.

You nodded. “If he’s so powerful, like you all say, then how could he let his father abuse him. Maybe he’s just trying to defame him.”

“That’s not true,” the students that had surrounded Jeonghan’s desk migrated over. “I heard he doesn’t have a magic root.”

“He doesn’t have a magic root?” a girl gasped. “Then, how did he pretend to be Taewook to fend off the army?”

“Was that just a rumor then?”

“It wasn’t a rumor!” a boy spoke up. “My sister said that his moves were very textbook and elementary. He most likely studied how to fight by himself and got lucky.”

A dreary, pitying air surrounded the students.

“He could have died,” someone finally said, their voice quiet and barely above a whisper.

“I doubt his brother and his father would have let him die,” you rolled your eyes as you stood up.

“Wait, Y/N, where are you going?” Mari asked.

“It’s Wednesday,” you replied sullenly.

“Oh. Well, come back soon.”

After you left, the gossipy students merged on Mari.

“What does she do on Wednesdays?”

“Yeah, she always leaves campus on Wednesdays and doesn’t come back until the next day!”

“She visits her boyfriend,” Mari said with a long sigh. “I hope they break up soon. He’s honestly so awful.”

The students, excited that there was something substantial to talk about, asked more questions and Mari willingly answered in the most detailed way she could.

  ——–

When Jeonghan arrived home, he was faced with a locked door. He frowned and went through his bag for his keys and even rummaged through his pockets. He turned to find the chauffeur that had dropped him off, but he had long left, leaving only the smell of heated magic in the air.

“Navi, could you open the door?” Jeonghan asked.

“I can, but as this is an electronic system, it will act as if you broke in and alert the authorities.”

“Great.”

If he remembered correctly there was a statue just by his bedroom window. If he could climb that and push open his window, he would be able to get in. With this in mind, Jeonghan began walking around the large mansion to look for his room. He stepped onto the premises of the garden but froze when he heard voices.

Jeonghan had integrity. He had morals. But he had also long abandoned them when he was a child.

Jeonghan quickly jumped into the bushes and poked his head out just enough so he could see. The system circled his head until it was pulled down and held in place as Jeonghan quirked up his ears and listened. A male voice…and a female voice?

“There are no females in this household other than the maids,” Jeonghan said. “And Taewook would never speak to a servant.”

“How do you now it’s Taewook, host?” the system asked curiously. Its host was right.

“I never forget a person’s voice,” Jeonghan mumbled. He strained his ear before moving closer as silent as he possible could. A soft “ah” escaped him. “It’s Y/N.”

“What’s she doing here?” the system mumbled in confusion.

“Let’s just listen,” Jeonghan said.

Jeonghan frowned with brows furrowed. If he remembered correctly, you had still been in the classroom when he left. There was no way for you to arrive before him.

“Taewook, I—”

Your words were cut short by the stinging sensation that appeared on your cheek.

The system gasped and it bounced around angrily, turning a bright crimson. This guy was truly scum!

“You’re so stupid!” Taewook hissed. He gripped your shoulder tightly until his fingertips left bruising marks. “Couldn’t you tell that wasn’t me?”

“I—”

“I thought you said you love me,” Taewook said. “How could you mistake that wimp for me, huh? That’s already offensive in itself.”

Jeonghan held back a scoff.

“He just…held out so well,” you replied, your voice not wavering in the slightest. You pushed aside his hand and took a step back though, your head slightly lowered. “You said you weren’t feeling well recently, so I figured it must have just been the cold acting up.”

“Even if I was boggled down by a cold, I wouldn’t be that weak!” Taewook said, his voice raising before falling again. He pinched his nose bridge and let out a heavy sigh. “Well, now you’ve done it.”

You raised your eyes and watched as he paced.

“He’s actually joined the academy!” Taewook said, throwing up his hands. “That useless trash did! And father praised him! Can you imagine?”

You remained silent.

“If this continues, father might actually accept him despite him being a disgrace. He’ll be more impressive if he makes it through the military without magic,” Taewook grumbled. He glared at you. “What was he like in school today?”

“Timid but polite.”

“Anything else?”

“He…”

“What?”

“He acted pitiful.”

“Acted pitiful?” Taewook waited for you to explain.

“I think he deliberately worded some things to paint you and your father in a bad light,” you said without hesitation. “His eyes were a little moist and he’d flinch when he thought about his home situation too.”

“That brat…”

Jeonghan smirked to himself. You were right. Taewook and their father were public figures so naturally, news about them mattered. They rarely mentioned their home life. It was only known that their father had no wife and Taewook’s mother had long passed. They had a brother and a son but he was a magical waste so no one paid attention to him. There was no sympathy for those who are weak in this world but if the weak suddenly gained a voice and spoke about their difficulties, it would spread like wild fire.

“He can’t stay in the academy,” Taewook finally concluded.

“What should I do?”

“Make him hate his life,” Taewook said, his voice so low Jeonghan had to strain to hear him. “Make everyone else hate him too. I want him to willingly quit himself.”

You nodded obediently.

Taewook reached out and patted your head, a warm smile on his face. You were dazzled for a moment but you couldn’t help but think his brother had a warmer smile. To get away, you shyly smiled and ducked back.

“Are you busy next week?” Taewook asked.

Your heart jumped and you turned back to him expectantly.

“I need the floor plan for the Mutated Butterflies new hide out. You could pass it over to me and after we could go grab lunch.”

You nodded quickly. “I’m free any day next week.”

Taewook grinned and moved closer to place a kiss on your forehead when the bushes rustled. Taewook’s eyes grew dark. He pulled out a throwing knife from his belt and sent it into the bushes. A strangled scream emerged and Jeonghan stood.

At first, he looked alarmed, but then he looked sheepish. He shrank and began to frantically wave his arms. “I—uh—I didn’t see anything! Uh, just, there was this cat! And the cat took…took my key.”

“Key?” Taewook raised an eyebrow.

“Housekey!”

“Why do you need a housekey?” Taewook’s brows furrowed in distrust.

“Because I don’t have a chip,” Jeonghan subconsciously rubbed his wrist.

As an illegitimate child who was not born in an official hospital, Jeonghan did not get a chip implanted in him. Legally, he was documented but as illegitimate children are usually abandoned and left to rot, resources such as citizenship chips are not wasted on them.

“Oh,” Taewook smirked. “Right. Well, wait at the front, I’ll let you in.”

“Okay!” Jeonghan nodded, looking stupidly excited as he ran off.

You frowned. “How come we couldn’t sense his presence at all?”

“Most likely because we’re used to those with magic,” Taewook grumbled. “He’s so useless you can’t even sense that he’s there.”

You nodded. Even if he didn’t have magic, at least one of you should have noticed. “He must have just arrived.”

“Must have,” Taewook agreed. “Otherwise, he probably would have confronted us about all that shit we said.”

You hummed in agreement and began to relax.

“Well, I’m going to let that idiot in. I’ll see you next week, alright?” Taewook patted your shoulder and turned to leave.

“I’ll message you when I get home?” you called out but Taewook said nothing in response.

Taewook reached the front where Jeonghan was waiting. Jeonghan jerked slightly when Taewook walked past and unlocked the front door. Jeonghan quickly grabbed the door as if he were afraid his older brother would close it on him.

“How was school today?” Taewook asked offhandedly.

“It was fun! Everyone is really nice,” Jeonghan said sheepshily. “I thought I would get bullied since I don’t have magic.”

“Well, do they know you don’t have magic?”

Jeonghan thought for a moment. “I suppose they don’t know that…”

“You better keep it a secret then,” Taewook said.

Jeonghan nodded seriously, as if he were really taking the advice to heart. “Say, Brother?”

“Hm?”

“That…that was Y/N, wasn’t it? Are you and Y/N…”

“No.”

“But before I saw you were going to—”

“Y/N and I are nothing. Don’t make assumptions,” Taewook harshly reprimanded.

Jeonghan pursed his lips and nodded.

“And do not tell father about what you saw in the gardens today.”

“Don’t—” Jeonghan’s eyes bulged.

Taewook stopped walking and turned to look at him. “If I hear a peep from you about this matter again, I will make your life a living hell.”

Jeonghan gulped nervously and nodded. “I swear, I won’t tell father.”

“Good,” Taewook began walking ahead again.

Jeonghan let out what sounded like a relieved sigh and followed his brother until he got to his room.

“Host, what’s your plan?”

“Why do you expect that I have a plan?” Jeonghan asked, shedding out of his school uniform.

“Because you always have a plan.”

Jeonghan hummed. “Since you have such high expectations for me, I guess I should have a plan, huh?”

“Yes.”

“Are you curious?”

The system stared at its teasing host. “Yes.”

“Then I won’t tell.”

“Host!”

“I’ll finish the first mission,” Jeonghan said.

The system stayed silent.

“In order to do that, I’m going to need to move into the dorms,” Jeonghan let out a long sigh and fell back on his comfortable bed. “I’m going to miss this bed.”

“How is moving into the dorms going to allow you to activate your powers?”

“In the dorms, there’s a lioness. If you provoke her enough, she’ll bite,” Jeonghan grinned. He curled into the sheets and closed his eyes. “I’ll tell you more about it tomorrow. I haven’t been in school for so long that I’m drained.”

The system hovered beside Jeonghan a moment but then went back to its corner and decided it should get some rest as well.

  ——–

“You’re back?”

You jumped at the sound of another voice in your room and you turned to find a projection of your brother.

“Gosh, Joshua, don’t do that!” you let out an irritated sigh.

“You must be distracted if you didn’t even realize I was here,” the projection stepped forward and sat down at your desk as if it could get tired. “So, where did you go?”

“I went to see Taewook again.”

“How many times do you have to see that guy?” Joshua sighed.

“I go whenever he calls.”

“And what’s that on your face? Did he hit you?” Joshua raised an eyebrow.

“Joshua.”

“I’m just saying, you shouldn’t get so invested. You don’t have to answer him whenever he calls. You’re not a slave.”

“Josh.”

“You’re supposed to be our family’s baby!” Joshua said. He stood with some determination. “That’s it, I’m going to tell mom and dad and—”

“Joshua, please,” you rolled your eyes.

“All I’m saying,” Joshua sat back down, “is we shouldn’t have sent you over there. They could have sent me.”

“Taewook is straight.”

“Romance isn’t the only way to a person’s heart,” Joshua replied neatly. “It’s all because of some stupid prophecy that you’re getting abused. You have to get out of there as soon as possible, you hear me?”

“If I can’t find the person, how am I supposed to get out?” you grumbled at your brother’s nonsense.

“Just grab any old Joe and leave,” Joshua said. “If our parents figure out something’s wrong, just blame it on me. The mission would fall through because you already left and then you don’t have to go back.”

“Joshua.”

“I’m just saying,” Joshua said. He paused a moment. “But, really, have you found anything?”

You shook your head. “There’s no one in the academy or the army that I’ve come in contact with that has dark magic as strong as the prophecy says.”

“See? It’s a dead end,” Joshua quickly concluded.

“But…”

“But?”

“There’s someone new,” you said.

“Oh?”

“Taewook’s younger brother. I don’t know what it is about him but I think he’s special.”

Joshua grew stone faced. “Y/N…we’re talking about serious business here, how could you go off on a tangent about a new crush?”

“This isn’t—! Brother!” you glared at him as your face flushed red. “I’m serious! I think there’s something off about him.”

Joshua frowned. “Then investigate him more.”

You nodded.

“Is that all there is to report?”

“Yes, brother.”

Joshua’s projection stood and he walked over. He placed a hand on your head. “Then, I’m signing off now. Make sure to stay safe. Don’t let that Taewook guy take advantage of you.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t.”

You watched as the projection vanished. You kicked off your shoes and laid down on your bed, staring up at the ceiling. Taewook’s smile blended with Jeonghan’s for a moment and you frowned. How could an angel be related to a devil?

~~~

(A/N: check out the description or the pting ff tag on my blog for new chapters!)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #200

tw for abuse.

If you’re pale, do you get made fun of for it? No. Are you white/black/asian/mexican/etc? White. Ever been to Washington D.C.? Did you get to meet the president of the time? I've driven very close to it, but no. Ever been to NYC Or LA? If so, how were your experiences there? No. Were you adopted? If so, have you met your biological parents? How about biological siblings or grandparents? N/A Ever had an abusive parent or other family member? If so, what’s the worst they did? No, thank Christ. Are either of your parents engaged but not married yet? No. Do you like older or younger siblings better? I have both, but. Hypothetically, if I had to choose one in general (not picking between my real sisters), probably younger. Ever had to take care of a baby sibling? If do, did you feel responsible, or were you just annoyed? No. We're 2-3 years apart, so there's never been a situation like that. Have you ever had a close friend get knocked up early? Can we not say "knocked up." No. Do you prefer baby boys or baby girls? I mean it depends on the kid, but I believe boys have less of an attitude. Are you one of those losers that buys things with the letter of your name? Well they're not "losers?" But whatever, no. I don't see the appeal at all. Have you done any form of martial arts? If so, what? If not and you want to, which one(s)? No, but I'd like to learn some form of self-defense. Would you be willing to let someone you know die if it means you can save an entire village? Lol this is such a Life Is Strange question, don't do this to my emotions. It depends on the person. If you were to write a letter to your future self, what would you say? Something about absolutely never giving up, regardless of the struggle. What are your thoughts on cults? Do you know anyone who has joined one? To my understanding, not all cults are bad... I think. If there are harmless ones, go for it, dude. Whatever you wanna believe. I knew a guy back in school who created one. What is a character trope that you really dislike? (For example, the Manic Pixie Dream Girl) The bitchy, germaphobe priss. Are you a fan of steampunk? If you don’t know what it is, would it be something you’d be interested in looking into? Hell yeah. What was the first job that you ever held? Do you remember how much you were paid (if you’re comfortable sharing)? Sales associate at GameStop. Idr. Would you say that you’re good at understanding people with accents (especially those who don’t have standard Anglo ones)? Most, save for severely southern. And I live where that accent is commonplace. How do you feel about anarchy? Let's not. Society would crumble in days. If you have any, who’s your favorite music artist from the 1970s? Probably Van Halen, but ugh, I love SO MANY metal/rock bands from that era. Do you think travelling is something that every young person should do to gain life experience? I'd say so. See that the world is more complex and varied than you'd think. When was the last time you listened to new music? I've been listening to new In This Moment songs periodically. Listened to "Blood" a few days ago. What word spelled out looks weird to you? Oh, I'm sure there's plenty. Do you require “closure” after things like break-ups or do you move on easily? I've only had one serious break-up, and I didn't even begin recovery until we had our final conversation over a year later that helped me reach closure. Is there a genre of movie that you just can’t watch? Musicals. Do they count as a genre? What was the last song to give you nostalgia? Hm... I"m blanking. But I know something did pretty recently. Have you ever had a conversation with a cab driver? Never been in a cab. Do you have any shirts from vacation/tourist locations? From beaches, which I never wear. I've only received them as gifts. What is one place you would like to go back and revisit? Chicago. Which would you prefer: a homemade gift, or a store-bought one? Homemade mean more to me usually, but as a gift, it obviously depends on what it is. When was the last time you were “under the influence?” I last drank uhhhh. I think at Sara's when her dad almost made me an alcoholic because holy FUCK bartending skills Jesus fucking Christ. How regular of an occurrence is this? Very rare. Have you ever had a relationship last for a year or longer? Twice now. What ended it, or are you still involved? We know the Jason story; Sara and I are still together. What’s the best time you’ve had at a high school sports game? Ugh, I never had a good time. I was just forced to go because Ashley was a cheerleader. If you’re out late, where are you likely to be? I couldn't even try to tell you the last time I was out late. Do you ever visit your mall’s arcade (if it has one)? Ours doesn't have one. Shirts with sarcastic sayings: yay, or boo? Yay. If “yay,” do you have a favorite? Bring Happy Bunny BACK TO THE FOREFRONT OF SOCIETY. If you lost the use of your limbs, would you still want to live? Eh, if it was just one leg, sure. What’s your absolute favorite topic to discuss? Weeps Markimoo. What is your least favorite topic to discuss? Politics and economics. When was the last time you played hide-and-go-seek? I played with my niece and nephew a few months back. They always hid in the same spots, lmao, but of course you gotta go along with kids, so I could "never find them." Where was your favorite place to hide? As a kid, I aaalways climbed into the toy box. Do you have a library card? Do you use it? No. Do you cuddle with your pet (if you have one)? Yup. What college did you want to attend as a kid? NC State. Was that still your choice when you grew up? Well, it didn't have the major I chose back then, but now that it does, that's probably where I'm transferring too after I get my pre-requisites. What sports star or athlete did you aspire to be like as a kid? None. How many colleges did you attend? Two so far. Going to a new one when I get my goddamn transcript from my cesspit that is my last school. Why did you choose the shirt you have on now? It's just a plain, gray tank. I wear tank tops to bed. Is marriage overrated? No? At this point in your life would you want to start a new career? I haven't even begun a career yet. Growing up what were your favorite cartoon characters? OKAY SO EMBARRASSING SECRET I'VE LITERALLY NEVER REVEALED. I was crazy for Ash Ketchum, and when I was young, I added daily to a story I wrote about being a Pokemon trainer; I didn't have Pokemon games because I was too embarrassed to ask back then, so I resorted to making it up. I filled up literally 3+ journals. Back to the main topic, far into that story, Ash became my boyfriend lmfao. Oh man, just answering this brings back such cute memories. Charmander-Charizard was my best friend and look it was just cute okay. What do you think has changed about you since you were a teenager? I'm way shyer. Looking back at high school were they the best years of your life? No. Were you the type of kid you’d want your children to hang out with? Yeah sure, I was genuinely a good kid. Do you look like your mom? Some say. When was the last time you overslept? I can't oversleep when I never have shit to do. What would you do if you could do anything without failing? Skydive, maybe? Do you use your phone as an alarm? If I need an alarm for whatever reason. What country do you live in? The United States. What is your native language? English. If you could meet any famous person (dead or alive) who would you meet? Take a guess. Do you have any piercings? Eight. Do you judge people that have multiple piercings? Fuck off. Do you dress up on Halloween? I WISH I could. I can't afford to buy shit to throw together as an outfit, nor do I do anything special that day, so. It's just a waste of time, save for taking a picture. Do you watch the Olympics? No. Do you like orange juice? So long there's not pulp in it. Have you read the Bible? Very little of it. Do you have a pet gecko? No. Are you scared of reptiles? Not at all. Have you ever seen the show 16 and Pregnant? Take that shit off television. No. Do you like cinnamon on your apple pie? I hate pie. Do you clap or cheer when at a concert? Well duh. Do you use a comb or brush? A comb. Do you eat the crust of your sandwiches? That's what I eat first since with food, I'm always the type that saves the best for last, and while I don't mind it at all, crust is the "worst" part. When you were younger, did you ever do that exclamation point that looked like an upside down triangle and had a really big dot? No. What are you listening to right now? "Whore" by In This Moment. Honestly, have you ever eaten raw cookie dough? Hell yeah I have, don't even @ me, salmonella. Name a city that starts with A in your state/province etc. Asheville. Name a landmark that starts with M in your state/province etc. Idk. When was the last time you gave a horse a carrot? Boy, I have no clue. Have you ever had to shovel snow? No. What mountain ranges have you seen? Appalachian. Where would you most like to go in your state, etc that you haven’t been? THE ABANDONED WIZARD OF OZ-THEMED PARK. Deadass might get married there, jc. Has a wild animal ever been loose in your house? Mice. What do you like the songs you listen to to be about? I'm big on things dark-themed, especially in like some fantasy or hypothetical situation, or covering sensitive topics in a beautiful way. When was the last time you said ‘yay’? Yesterday when Sara updated me on her weight ahhhHHHHHHH she's getting closer and closer to a healthy one. Would you be a newscaster and speak to everyone in a hurricane? Hell no. Have you ever seen or touched an iceberg? No. Do you use a toaster or toaster oven? Oven. Who was the last member of the opposite sex you laid in a bed with? I think Girt when we were watching TV one day in Nicole's room. Would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler? Rottweiler! Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex? Yeah. Where was the last place you stayed over? Sara's. Do you know anyone that owns horses? Not well. Think back to the last time (or a time) when you were in a fight with someone and just blurted out exactly what was on your mind. Did you somewhat regret saying what you said? What happened? When Mom hit me for a completely uncalled-for reason (I can't actually remember what it was, other than it was stupid as hell) last year, I said, "Oh, I can't wait to tell Alyssa (therapist) about this one," and she didn't reply or say another word to me for like hours, maybe not even that night. No, honestly, I don't regret it. You don't slap your fucking kid. Towards the end of your last relationship, how did you know it was over? How did you and your significant other change towards each other? (ex. not calling each other babe, baby, etc.) I wasn't opening up to him any further after four months, and I just didn't feel a romantic connection. I wasn't comfortable. We didn't change much, really, just that we no longer hold hands and he doesn't kiss me obviously. We went back to exactly how we were before, thankfully. Have you ever had a significant other NOT believe you when you said “i love you” to them? Why was that? How did you react? No. Do opposites really attract? Have you ever experienced this? Explain. Sure, for some people. I've never been too attracted to someone too different from me. Has anyone close to you ever drifted away because they started hanging out with a new crowd? Did you try talking to them about it? What eventually happened? Story. Of my goddamn. Life. And only one, my former best friend. Just last year I finally reached out to her, and I guess we're "friends," buuut she only talks to me on her watch. I won't get into that. Have you ever found yourself heading on the wrong path? What happened? Probably, but idr. When did you last not feel accepted? Why did you feel that way? Ha, I'm sure recently. I just about always feel like that. Has anyone had to take your drink from you because you were drinking too much? How did you react? No. What’s your opinion on the world relying on technology too much and not paying enough attention to natural resources? Eek, there're positives and negatives. I totally believe it's possible someday for the singularity to happen, yet at the same time, technology is an almost perfect approach to many tasks, menial or complicated. Have you ever felt like it was just pointless to cry? Did you hold yourself back from crying or did you let it out? Sure, probably. I usually hold it back, typically far more frequently than I should, although on most occasions, crying just doesn't come. I just get a tight jaw and everything. Have you ever had a love/hate relationship with someone? Tell me about it. Meh, Colleen many times. I'm not delving into that story again. Has your pride ever gotten in the way of admitting that you felt weak or were in pain? How so? No. Whose lies have affected you the most? Jason's, although I'll give him enough credit that at the time of making them, he probably meant most/all of them. But they were still lies and broken promises. Have you ever dreamt in another language? No. Who was the last person you met and instantly liked? What about the last person you met who you immediately disliked or got bad vibes from? Hm. Oh, the girl who was in VR class with me. She loved my tattoo, so that sparked a brief convo, and she had awesome ones too. In class, she was funny and relatable and just in general had a very approachable personality. I wanted to talk more to her, but. Shyness and anxiety. ;_; For the other half of the question, I'm uncertain. I'm sure it was some man with my paranoia and distrust. What’s the most interesting news you read or received recently? What about the most depressing? I don't pay much attention to the news unless I just scroll past something on Facebook... and nothing's really coming to me. Ah, checked my FB real quick and I recently shared something about this crow couple that have been together for 12 years; the female has a broken beak, and her mate always feeds her. The most depressing was certainly a dog that was left out in the snow up north, and he was found dead and pretty much frozen in his doghouse. Pretty sure the owner was arrested. Thank fuck for the new law regarding pets being out in the cold. Would you let politics get in the way of a relationship? It would have to be a SERIOUS difference on a major matter that revealed deep, core beliefs. What is one thing someone could say that would automatically make you distrustful of them? I wouldn't mention you have a criminal record around me. I don't care what for unless it was seriously bullshit. What is one way in which you need to learn to control yourself? I need to STOP jumping to conclusions and becoming super defensive when I feel I'm in serious danger of being hurt emotionally. Do you have any friends who are on and off with bfs/gfs all the time? No. When was the last time you almost cried out of exhaustion? It was that and embarrassment. When I was at the airport to go home after visiting Sara, I fucked up in understanding the gate shit, carried my heavy bag ALL the way to the end, ALL the way back to the beginning, and then ALL THE FUCKING WAY BACK when I found the screen that told me my gate. At this same time, my knees were in awful condition and of course the sweating situation was goddamn humiliating. I'm very, very surprised no one asked if I was okay; I can only imagine how contorted and pained my face was, aaaand yay excessive sweating, I was literally soaked. I was very close to crying that day. What's a TV show you hate missing? None. The only situation where I'd be like that is if Meerkat Manor returned. What's a movie/book/TV show/band/whatever you highly recommend? Movie: Forrest Gump; book: Johnny Got His Gun; TV show: The Good Doctor; band: Otep is too underrated. Who taught you to tie your shoelaces? Dad first taught me the "wrong" way, then Mom corrected me in how you should properly do it. What's your favorite picture of yourself as a child? *shrugs* What is something people are surprised to hear about you? I've been told by many people that they're surprised to learn I have just about debilitating social anxiety. I always think I cover it awfully, but apparently I've adapted well enough to it that I can fake comfort decently, I suppose. What was the last bug you saw? Probably a fly, idk. Are there any people you know in real life that you only talk to online? Not off the top of my head... Is it cruel to keep a dog in a cage or tied up most of the time? No shit. About what things are you most selfish? Alone time. I need it. Are you camera shy? Why/why not? Yes, because odds are I will look like a blobfish out of water trying to smile but only succeeding in looking seriously high. What is the worst thing a former boyfriend/girlfriend has done to you? Dropped me like a boulder into a canyon and dashed off with zero intent of breaking up even nearly appropriately. Was anyone rude to you today (or yesterday, if you’re taking this early)? No. What was your favorite sleepover game? *shrugs* Have you ever swore in church? Possibly? Do you have memories from preschool? Some, yeah. Particularly of Christopher and some boy whose name I can't remember being pretty much obsessed with me and always chasing me in recess to hug the fuck out of me and apparently the other boy got in trouble all the time for trying to kiss me. Kinda recently in therapy we dug into my extreme fear of men, people being behind me, and rape (it's too a seriously unrealistic degree), and we think this mighta just been what sparked those fears so early. I also remember I was talkative at nap time, I brought the movie Antz for us to watch and everyone hated it, and I once brought my Snorlax plushy for show-and-tell. I remember making a gingerbread man tree ornament, too. Do you celebrate Earth Day? No, I never really know what to do. :/ I'd love to do even little things like pick up litter, but walking here is pretty dangerous, and we're also in a spot where you' seldom see anything. What is your least favorite thing about your full name? I hate my last name. What’s your favorite kind of Poptart? The chocolate sundae one or whatever it's called? What was the last thing you used sliced bread to make? A sandwich. What does your room look like when you sleep? Still kinda bright with Venus' and Kaiju's lights, Roman is usually in here with me, and Teddy is sometimes. Are your fingers long, or short? Mom always tells me I have Grammy's "long piano fingers." *shrug Do you like your grandparents? She reeeaaally gets under my skin a lot of times, but yeah. Do you like to fly on planes? If I'm at the window seat. What brand name do you think is just way over the top expensive? I'unno, lots. PLENTY of designer clothes shit, though. Like the fuck, most of those things I see are hideous. Do you find it hard to concentrate in really loud places? Yup. Do you tend to get more sleep on the weekends the during the week? They're the same for me. Are you comfortable talking to strangers? No. What’s the most boring game to exist? Why do you dislike it so much? I mean idk. Do you mean board games, card games, video games? I can tell you right off the bat I'm not a card game fan, almost ever. Do you lie about not having extra pens, so you don’t have to lend them? I don't believe I ever did. What’s your favorite YouTube video? What’s it about? Oh boy, I couldn't tell you. Do you get nervous when you’re about to get a haircut? No. What do you do to pass the time when you’re waiting for something? Mess around on my phone. Whenever you take pictures, do they always end up posted on Facebook? No. Can you name something that makes you feel nostalgic from each of the following: a scent, a sight, a sound, a taste, and a feeling? Breakfast cooking (scent), tobacco fields (sight), whippoorwills (sound), those smiley face french fries (taste), excitement (feeling). What is one small thing your significant other does that makes you happy? If you are single, what is one small thing a friend does to make you happy? I love seeing her spaz over something cute lmao. If you could have a dollar for every time something happened, what would it be? Someone pointing out how many meds I'm on. What is something that you wish more people in your life were interested in (a topic, a hobby, etc.)? Ummm idk? What is a feel-good song that you’ve been listening to lately? Well, Epica's "Sacred & Wild" cover always pumps me up a bit. What are some things you enjoy seeing pictures of? m a r k, meerkats, Pyramid Head, Mom legitimately smiling/laughing, Sara with her babies... lots more. Who is somebody from your past that had a big positive impact on you? What would you say if you could speak to them right now? Two of my previous teachers. They always had life lessons to teach and not just English. Have you ever bought something recommended by an ad before? What was it, and were you happy with your purchase? I'm not sure. What is a website that you visit frequently that isn’t a form of social media? Wikis I help edit. Do you watch The Big Bang Theory? I don't watch TV, but if it's on, yeah, I enjoy it. Do you ever listen to country music? No. From inside of your house, how many doors lead outside? Two. Who is the most complicated person in your life right now? Me. Do you still wear armbands or rubber rings in the pool? No. Are you one of those people who talks to everyone when you’re out? Definitely not. What would be your ideal pet? Something very affectionate, calm, and in tuned with my emotions. Are there any websites you just don’t see the point in? I'm sure there's something. Have you got anything you’ve had since you were a baby? Stuffed animals. Mom maybe has my pacifier somewhere. Is there anyone you’re really jealous of? Envious, rather. Do you hit electronics when they don’t work? No. Do you dislike any certain group of people? Well yeah, like rapists and pedophiles. But "hate" is far more suiting. Have you ever bought anything you really wanted, only to never use it? Maybe? I never really have my own money to buy things myself. Are you scared of fireworks? No. What was the last flyer someone gave you for? No clue. Do movies/books inspire you to change your life in any way? Johnny Got His Gun furthered my will to be a pacifist. Do you read movie quotes even when you haven’t seen the movie? No? What does your favorite bag look like? It has a macabre owl/spider design. Do you customize your possessions? Not usually. What’s a smell that makes you feel ill? (besides the obvious) Gasoline will usually give me a headache if I'm dealing with it long enough. Do you get lonely easily? Yeah. Is your car older than a 2000? I don't have my own car. Where was the last place you wrote a check to/used your debit card? I don't have a debit card. Nor have I written a check. What was your favorite board game as a child? I loved Mall Madness believe that shit or not, there was a Cranium fair thing I adored, I loved Clue a lot when I was old enough to understand it, and I was crazy about this The Crocodile Hunter game too, which I've kept for nostalgia purposes, even though it's been broken for a long time. Who was the last person to give you flowers? I think Tyler. If a stranger asked you to take a picture with them what would you do? That's a big 'ole spooky nope. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Absolutely Internet. .-. How many times have you been to a museum? A handful, I guess. Would you rather be a panda or grizzly bear? A panda. Do you like BBQ sauce? Omg NO. Have you had sex in the past 3 weeks? Well, lesbian intimacy. Do you regularly experience pain in any part of your body? My knees. Did the last person you kissed ever give you a hickey? No. Do you have to see something to really believe it? No. Do you believe everyone is gifted with something? Eh, I dunno. Have you ever been busted for under age drinking? No. Tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. What is it called? What does it look like? I have a stuffed moose on my dresser named Brownie. He's all brown and lying down. What’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? Who knows. What’s your favorite myth? The one of the Jersey Devil. Have you ever used a Ouija board? I am. SO curious. But too afraid to fuck with them lmao. Are you planning on getting tattoos? Which ones? Oh, hunny. I can at least say my next one is most likely to be the Shadow of the Colossus sigil designed as if it's stamped into the ground on my left hand. Do you read comics? What are your faves? No. Do you have any apple devices? If so what have you got? An ancient iPod nano and my old iPhone. Have you ever said something that you instantly regretted? Very likely. Do you get upset when a pet fish dies? I haven't had a fish in forever, but I never really bonded with any I did have as a little kid. Are you a soprano, alto, tenor or bass? A tenor probably, or alto? Do you bruise easily? Extremely. One reason I got tested for anemia (which came back negative). Do you know anybody who is afraid of clowns? Lots of people. Have you ever seen a zebra? At a zoo. Have you ever had a rolling backpack? Yup. Then we couldn't have them in high school for whatever reason. If you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn? Healing. Do you hang toilet paper over or under? Whichever way it just happens to be positioned in my hands when I pick it up. When do you feel the most confident? If a situation arises where my meerkat knowledge needs to be spilled lol. What makes you laugh? Unexpected but funny things destroy me the most. Then of course there're actually good jokes and/or sarcasm. What movie quotes do you use of a regular bases? None. What’s the craziest conversation you have ever eaves-dropped on? No clue. What’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild? I saw a perched owl in the woods while fishing years ago; don't remember what kind, though. It was so cool though, it stared right at us while we rowed past. Also quite sure I got a quick glimpse of a mink along the distant bank while also fishing. What do you wish you knew more about? Politics, so I could actually play a knowledgeable role in it by voting in confidence and such. Do you carry hand sanitizer every where you go? Yes. Do you use your fingers to do simple math problems? Yuuuup. Do you wear foundation? Literally only if I'm trying to look my absolute best. Otherwise, god no, I hate how it feels. Do you get self conscious when wearing a bathing suit? Don't even get me started. What makes you distracted? Music, TV, talking... basically dynamic sound. Do you wear really dark eye liner? I only ever wear black. Are you a fan of Justin Bieber? No. Does your hometown have bad memories attached to it? Yeah, some. How many subscribers do you have on your YouTube channel? Idk. Does snow and ice ever got on the inside of you window panes? I don't think so? What do you do for pain? Soldier through it, take meds, use a heating pad or cold washcloth/bag of ice depending on the type of pain, try to sleep to let it hopefully pass or alleviate. What type of lotion do you use? One for dry skin. What were your favorite clothing stores in high school? Hot Topic and rue 21. Name a YouTuber whom you think acts shallow and superficial. I'm sure there's plenty, like say, the Paul brothers. Do you know anyone who has twin babies or toddlers? A woman I vaguely know through dance has twins. If so, what are their names? Idr. Would you ever want to have twins? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST NO If you could have a car in any color you wanted, which color? Burnt orange. What is your favorite Avril Lavigne song? "Nobody's Home" is still incredible. Have you ever done something and been afraid of getting caught? Yeah. Have you ever had a bedroom that had wallpaper on the walls? I think the house I grew up in had it... Would you ever hitchhike? Why or why not? No, because I don't trust strangers for shit. What color is your stapler? Black. Do you have a desk that you sit at in your room? No. Have you ever completed a weight loss program? No. What was the last thing you were mad at a doctor about? OHHHHH, THAT STORY AGAIN?????????????? Where you live, is it possible to get sunburned&frostbitten in same week? Pretty much. Is your mother a lesbian? No. Are you part Swedish? No. Are you planning to travel outside of your country in the next 6 months? I doubt in six months. Do your parents live in the same city as you? Dad doesn't, but I live with Mom. What genre of books interest you the most? Fantasy. Do any of your close friends NOT have a Facebook account? Yeah, I think. German type foods: delicious or disgusting? I don't really know their cuisine. If you had your way, what color(s) would you dye your hair? I've seen a gorgeous pastel rainbow design on short hair before, and I my GOD I want. Do you like seafood? If so, what is your favorite? If not, what is your favorite type of food? UGH no. I do, however, like shrimp. But that's it. Have you ever eaten a veggie burger? Yeah, it wasn't that bad. I had Burger King's during my vegetarian juncture. If you could master any sport, which one would you choose? Dance. If you could meet any major political figure, who would it be? What would you say to him/her? Meh. Do you play any unique instruments? No. In school, did you take any classes to learn how to play any instruments? Flute, yes. Then after I got my lip pierced, I was moved to the percussion section to learn shit in like two days. Basically, I was useless 'til I realized I could position my lip on the mouthpiece where the ring didn't affect the flow of air much. I later got to a point of taking it out for every band class, though. Idr why; instructor probably wanted me to. Did you actually pay attention in Spanish class? I didn't take Spanish. If you drink Monster, what is your favorite flavor? If you don’t drink Monster, why not? None, because it tastes like literal poison. If you had/have a Club Penguin account, how old were you when you got it? No clue. What religion/spiritual path intrigues you the most, if any? Wiccan. What ancient culture intrigues you the most, if any? I don't remember any well enough to answer here. Are/were your parents hippies? I don't believe so? Would you ever consider getting dreadlocks? Oh lort no. If you had a baby boy right now, what would his middle name(s) be? Victor or Vincent, probably. What heritage does your last name imply? Scottish. How about your middle name? French. And first? English. What is your heritage, anyway? That I know of, Irish, German, and Polish. Were your parents born in the United States? Most importantly, were you? If not, what country? Yes to both. “Happy Holidays,” “Merry Christmas,” or “Merry X-Mas?" I couldn't care less.

[trashunlimited]

despite the lack of feedback i receive on this stuff...i hope people like this story so far. i worked really hard on the characters and the romance, and i hope it has paid off. chapter 8 should be soon :).

chapter 1

chapter 2

chapter 3

chapter 4

chapter 5

chapter 6

tagging: @nightshade1994, @glampyra

When Cyn had returned to Fyralog, he had explained what had happened to him, making the mention he had almost got the fuel source, but Rick had burned him, literally. Pyri was becoming frustrated with Cyn, she was forced to watch her citizens suffer through an energy crisis with nothing much she could do about it.

“Remember Cyn, you have one last chance left, don’t blow it.” She reminded him. “You fail this time, and you’re discharged.”

Cyn was nervous about this, he so desperately wanted to help, so he didn’t want to screw this up. “Can’t you help me in any way? Get me some form of assistance?” He asked hopefully.

Pyri thought about it. “I suppose so, I’ll assign some other generals to help you.”

He grinned eagerly at this, hoping this new help would finally cause him to get that chunk back.

When the help did arrive, they were also hoping to get the fuel back, and Cyn headed off with them on their ships to Earth. However, when they arrived, Rick was nowhere to be found, not even his girl, and this confused him greatly. Using the tracker, it seemed Rick was at least near...Glorf. Cyn sighed, he didn’t want to head towards enemy territory, but it seemed he and the other generals had no choice.

Cyn decided he couldn’t risk it, and that he needed to come up with a plan. He and his generals stayed on their ship, figuring out what to do about Rick.

----------------

A week had passed since Rick and Julie had arrived at Glorf, and they’d been spending most of their time together, not being familiar with anyone else there. Julie was starting to realize her feelings for Rick were more than just a simple crush, she was in falling in love with him.

Rick treated her kindly, and even though he acted shy at times, she could tell he enjoyed having her near him. He would smile when he saw her, and he seemed to like making her laugh and would compliment her too, sometimes coming off as flirtatious; Julie was embarrassed by it at times, but she’d be lying if she said she didn’t like it. Rick was also growing to be more comfortable with her touch, she still asked him sometimes if he was okay with it, and he always said yes. Julie was so pleased to know he was doing better with her. She had gotten to know him well, but he was still mysterious to her, she wanted to know more about him, and believed he would open up in time.

She loved his jokes and his antics, he always made her feel so happy, and for the first time in a long time, her happiness was genuine. When Julie was with him, it felt like all her insecurities, pain and sorrow disappeared, she could tell he brought out the best in her. She hadn’t talked about why she felt so lonely, and why she was so sad at times, but in time, Julie knew she would tell him.

Julie admired Rick’s confidence, how he did whatever he wanted, how he didn’t care about what anyone thought of him and how he said whatever was on his mind. He was so strong, talented, brave, powerful, assertive, humorous, smart, relaxed and laid-back. He was also very attractive to her, which was a bonus. She loved everything about him really, and hoped they could become closer, and also hoping he would return her feelings one day. But because of her weaker, shyer personality, she didn’t see it as likely, but Julie still tried to remain hopeful and optimistic. If they ended up together, there was too the hope their love would last, not wanting to get her heart broken again.

When Rick would go outside to test his new weapons, Julie would watch him from afar, and be impressed with his skills, abilities and of course, his strength too. She didn’t approve of violence, but at the same time, she understood why he was doing this to begin with.

--------------

One day, Julie decided they should go out and explore together, not wanting to continue being cooped up in the house, and Rick agreed, feeling the same way she did. When they left the house, Julie made the move to hold Rick’s hand, so she could feel safe and comfortable, and he shyly let her.

They walked through the city together, taking in the sights. Rick really didn't care much about it, but Julie was so amazed and impressed, she was so eager to explore, and Rick went along with it to make her happy.

As they wandered together, the two came across some type of park, covered with flowers and trees, the whole thing was covered in what looked like a glass dome. “That place looks so beautiful,” Julie said in awe. “We should go there!”

Rick shrugged. “Sure.”

They headed inside, and Julie was even more amazed, scanning around to look at all the plants and flowers. There were holographic projections displaying information about the plant life, and Julie read as much as she could.

After exploring, they sat down on a bench overlooking a stream of water. Rick really wasn’t into this at all, but he tried to look like he did and not act like a dick for Julie’s sake.

“Y-You know, all the plant life, and well..I’m pretty sure everything here is f-f-fake. They just tried to make it look real.” Rick pointed out.

“Why would you say that?” Julie asked in confusion.

“A place like this with so much advanced technology? It wouldn’t surprise me if it turned out a lot of the natural wildlife got killed off to make progress.” He explained.

In response, she playfully poked him. “Aw don’t be such a buzzkill Rick! Just enjoy it!”

“Wh-Whatever.”

She looked at him worriedly, unsure what was wrong. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, stop worrying about me so much.” Rick replied, brushing her concerns off.

“Rick, I worry about you because I care about you, we’re friends, and I..” She stopped herself. “We’ve become close, you know you can tell me whenever something’s bothering you, or...just anything really. I...I want to be there for you..” Julie began to blush at those last words, and inched her hand close to his.

Rick’s face went red, and he looked down at her hand, feeling shy again. She was so kind and thoughtful, always wanting to help him and all...it was making him feel those weird feelings again, and he tried to ignore them but they just kept coming back. Once more, he had to face the possibility he was falling in love with Julie, and Rick knew he couldn’t ignore his feelings forever, but he still wasn’t ready to admit he loved her. The only feelings regarding Julie he could readily accept and admit to was his feelings of lust and desire, that was normal, he was used to that, not love.

He let her touch his hand, and sighed, he didn’t deserve her concern and kindness, she shouldn’t be worried for him of all people, but she was.

When Rick didn’t say anything, Julie felt dejected, but something else came to her mind. “Rick...why were you so nervous about being touched and hugged in the past? I know your not used to it..but why?”

He gave her a surprised look, and she became flustered. “Ah I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have asked, I-”

“No, it’s fi-fine.” He interrupted, and sighed deeply. “I-I just...I-I-I…” He didn't didn't want to tell her ‘why' yet. “..well..the only time I’ve ever been touched like that is...” He chuckled lightly. “..when I’m fucking, you know, with men, women, whoever I want. Outside of that? Nope, it’s never happened, at least not until I met y-you.”

Julie’s blush deepened when he muttered out ‘fucking’, he was so vulgar! At least she knew he was sexually active, and it made her really jealous, wanting Rick to ‘take her’ too, but she said nothing about it.

Rick still didn't tell her why, and it made her suspect the worst. She did not want to think about the idea Rick was abused in his childhood, she considered it might be true beforehand, and now it seemed even more likely, and she hated it so much. Julie figured that Rick’s parents must’ve been very unloving and unkind, very cruel, unsupportive people. It would certainly explain some of Rick’s other behaviours too, like the fact he seemed untrusting of others and was noted to be violent, he was a criminal too. She wondered if Rick’s parents were also tied to his rebellious nature, thinking maybe they were very strict.

Julie wanted so badly to ask him about this, but decided against it, figuring it was best to wait; she didn’t want to feel like she was being insensitive, or stepping out of line or anything like that.

“I’m really sorry..” She apologized softly.

“No, don’t be sorry, y-you d-didn’t do anything wrong.” Rick told her.

“It’s just..I feel awful for you, whatever the reason you’re not used to any type of affection can’t be anything good.” Julie admitted. “ Is there anything I can do?”

“Well..guess you’ll just have to make me used to it.” He winked. “An-And I’m kin-kinda...starting to anyways.”

She give him a gentle smile at this, feeling glad he was getting used to her affections.

--------------------

After they left the park, they went to a few more places before returning back home. On their way there, Rick felt someone tightly grab onto his wrist, and he turned his head over to see an angry yyorian staring at him.

“I don’t appreciate our planet harbouring a criminal like you, especially not one so notorious dangerous.” The yyorian growled. “It could put our people in serious danger, and I won’t tolerate it.”

Rick rolled his eyes, and forcefully pulled off the yyorian before starting to walk away with Julie.

The yyorian glared at them menacingly, if Rick wasn’t going to listen to him, then he was going to have to do this the hard way. Everyone knew the girl he was with was his weak spot, if he threatened her...well...Rick would have to listen to him then!

He grabbed Julie’s arm and pulled her against him, placing a glistening knife against her throat, while she started to cry. “If you don’t want your girl’s neck to be sliced open, you’ll listen to me, criminal.”

At this, Rick was seething with rage. The only weapon he had with him was his own blade, but that was no problem. Before the poor yyorian even knew what was happening, Rick knocked him in the face, sending him flying. He then grabbed onto Julie, wanting to comfort her, but knowing he had to deal with the yyorian first.

When the yyorian got up, Rick stepped protectively in front of a frightened Julie, his eyes narrowed. The yyorian charged at Rick, who effortlessly stabbed him in the chest, causing him to cry out in pain and fall to the ground.

“Look at you..” He managed to say through the pain, clutching onto his chest. “You’re one of the most deadly and feared criminals in the galaxy and yet...you’ve given yourself a weakness..your love for that girl...it’s funny really..”

Rick had completely lost himself in fury at this point. “I didn’t give myself a weakness!” He yelled defensively as he sliced the yyorian in two.

Julie had covered her eyes with her face, looking away. But when she did uncover her eyes, she saw Rick sitting on his knees, covered in blood….and she swore she heard him sob…she went beside him, and laid a hand on his shoulder to comfort him.

-------------

When they returned home, Julie and Rick were sitting on their bed, with Julie cleaning the blood off of Rick, who was looking down, neither saying a word.

Julie thought about the fact that yyorian had said she was “Rick’s weakness”, and she wondered if she really was. He cared about her more than anything it seemed, and he had only gotten angry when the yyorian threatened to kill her, they had also only left Earth because, according to Rick: “We can’t stay here, not when you’re in danger.”

It seemed to really make sense, Rick prioritized her above anything and anyone else, and to be honest, it made her heart soar, knowing he cared that much about her.

At the same time, she felt guilty that others saw her as making Rick weak, she knew Rick didn’t like it, figuring he didn’t want to be seen as weak to begin with. Julie also felt guilty that she couldn’t even fight, she couldn’t defend herself, she had to rely on Rick to help her. She knew Rick’s enemies could take advantage of this, knowing there was nothing she could do on her own, and she needed him. It’s not like Julie could even stand up for herself to begin with either, she was passive and shy. She didn't want to constantly be a damsel in distress that he needed to save and protect all the time, she didn't want to feel like a burden to him, but she was starting to.

“Rick I..” Julie sighed sadly. “I’m...I’m so sorry...I must feel like a huge burden to you and..” She started to tear up. “...and that you must think I’m just a weak crybaby..”

Rick was shocked that she would even think of saying something like that to him. “Julie! Don’t you dare fucking talk about yourself like that ever again! You are not a burden or a weak crybaby at all!”

Julie sniffled a little. “But..I can’t fight, I can’t stand up for myself, and so far, a few people who hate you have already tried to hurt me, and I can’t do anything about it. I have to rely on you..and…” Her crying was starting to get worse. “I feel like I really am a crybaby, that’s what everyone used to always call me growing up..you shouldn't have to deal with me Rick...you really shouldn’t…”

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing, he never thought she’d talk about herself like that. Rick knew now Julie was a very insecure person, lacking a lot of confidence in herself, and it seemed he knew where it came from, she was bullied in her youth. He knew her pain, having been bullied as a child as well, at least they had another thing in common. His anger was completely gone, and he softened, wanting to make her feel better again.

“Julie I don’t see you as a burden, I-I…” He blushed. “I don’t really say this to people but..I-I-I c-c-care about y-y-you a lot o-okay? We’re friends, and I don’t like you speaking so negatively about yourself. I want to deal with you and...look..I’ve dealt with bullying too, but you shouldn’t let that shit get you, ever.”

Rick pressed his face against her cheek, and she blushed too, feeling touched by his words. She hadn’t known he’d been bullied too, but she was glad he could understand her pain. This was only making the feelings Julie felt for Rick stronger, she felt the urge to hug and kiss him, but resisted as best she could.

“Thank you Rick..” Julie smiled. “I tried so hard not to let the bullying get to me, but I just dealt with it so much. The other kids would make fun of my red hair, or call me names like loser, weak, a baby and...as you already know...a crybaby..I’m not strong like you Rick, but I want to try and be.”

Rick smiled back at her, hiding the fact he wanted to hurt everyone who had ever hurt her. “That’s good. I know that shit hurts a lot, I was bullied for my looks too, the other kids would call me ugly, and make fun of my unibrow. I w-was also called things like a freak or a weirdo. At first, it hurt so much, but eventually, I stopped caring, and now I don’t give one single fuck about what people think of me.” He grinned. “A-And I hope you don’t feel insecure about being a redhead.”

“Why?”

“Cause I got a thing for them.” He winked at her, making her face even more red, causing him to laugh.“By the way, it’s kinda amazing you still seem to want to be friends, even though it’s putting y-you in a lot of d-danger.”

“That’s because I care more about you than my own safety.” Julie confessed. “No matter how many times I get put in danger, I’ll always want to stay your friend.”

Despite Rick’s surprise by her response, he was thrilled. He knew no matter what happened, he would always be there for her, and protect her from harm, the feelings he was developing for her also growing stronger.

i just wanted to have at least scene showing rick being protective of julie, i felt the need to.

i decided to acknowledge rick’s pansexuality, it’s kinda important. julie doesn’t even react to rick saying he fucks both men and women, despite being from the 1970s, i guess it just shows how loving and accepting she is.

there’s not too much to say here, other than that i want these to kiss and fuck already! get it over with you fools! i love and hate writing slow burn at the same time.

i also just want to say, i didn’t want their love story to be just “girl saving guy”, not that i have a problem with those stories, but i thought it would be more meaningful if they saved each other.

[commander-yinello]

Trying to be better, part 2

If you haven’t read part 1, this story won’t make any sense! Below and under the cut, part of me sailing the crackship Echosung into slightly more serious waters. I hope you enjoy! <3

4:45 PM. She sighed as she held her phone in the air, time telling her how little she had done today. A soft whine and the scratching of nails came from beside her bed, Lady insisting that she needed to go out for a walk.

“Yes, yes. Gimme a minute to get ready,” she responded, pushing herself off her bed, blowing wavy hair out of her face. Lady didn’t seem to care for her owner’s prep time, running in circles in the hope time would go faster. Long used to her poodle’s antics, Kyungju dropped her phone on the desk next to her wardrobe.

It was right then a new notice popped up on her screen. She expected another meme from the chatroom with her overseas friends, but it was an e-mail. An e-mail with a particularly unexpected sender that made her swipe it away.

“Mom!” she yelled towards her open door while she attempted to brush out the creases in her dress so it didn’t look like she used them as pajamas. “Did you give the agent from Heart & Seoul Models my private email address?”

The gentle tapping of heels on marble followed, her mother’s shadow cast on the cream-colored wall. “Of course, I did dear! Why wouldn’t I?”

She groaned. “What the fuck, mom?!”

“Kyungju Choi, I told you to stop swearing!”

“And I told you, I don’t want these agents to be able to contact me!” Irritated, she brushed her hair down with her hands. Lady followed her every move, doing her best for constant attention.

“I don’t know why you’re so against becoming an idol again. You were so successful last time.”

She nearly lost balance, putting on her blazer and trying to win the argument. “I don’t want that anymore! It ended in a bunch of really bad bullshit, or did you somehow forget that we moved to Europe?”

“You made a mistake that you’re not going to make again. Your father and I agree that you need to be doing something other than loafing about and taking the odd modelling job. Or did you plan on finding a rich man and marrying him?”

“No!” Kyungju yelled. “God mom, I can’t believe you’re still suggesting that!”

Now properly dressed, she slipped her phone in her pants pocket and eyed the unpacked moving boxes in the corner as she left her room, making her way to the stairs in the hallway. Her mother stood on the ground floor, wearing a frilly apron, the only sign she was a housewife - unlike her hair in a tight bun and a face full of bold make-up. Kyungju glared as she ran down, but her mother had always been better in the glaring game. Lady hopped down the stairs, tail wagging from the noise they produced, noise she saw as fun and exciting like all noise really.

“God blessed you with a beautiful body and you’re wasting it,” her mom continued to nag as Kyungju tugged on her boots and jacket. “You may not have been able to charm that albino boy, but he’s young and poor - there’s plenty of older, richer, more interested men you should be aiming for.”

She couldn’t stand hearing more. “I can make it on my own, just give me time to figure out how. Come Lady,” she beckoned, and her poodle obeyed, trotting along while Kyungju grabbed the leash off the coat hook. “I’ll see you tonight mom,” she said, leaving her home for the city streets.

Her mother was merciful and closed the door behind her without another word. Kyungju sighed while Lady sniffed every possible corner and tree she could find, running back when she was called, allowing herself to be leashed. The fluffy ball of energy proceeded to pull Kyungju along the pavement while she pondered.

Her mother was making too big a deal out of this. They just moved here, surely she was going to find something, a job she could be proud of and that had nothing to do with Echo Girl. She nodded while pouting, ignoring the confused face the woman passing her made.

Rush hour had ended, and the once crowded streets slowly found silence as employees and students ran into their homes for dinner and relaxation. Kyungju turned the corner and ended up in a small shopping centre where everyone was closing up. At the end of the plaza Kyungju spotted the small building with illustrated cats and dogs on the windows, a sight that brightened her mood instantly.

Yoosung’s clinic. It wasn’t actually Yoosung’s clinic, he was just one of the vets working there, but in her mind it was. Conveniently close to her house, she had rushed Lady there - best idea she ever had. For once she was glad Lady was such a glutton.

Through the glass, she saw the blond behind the counter, busy with a customer, his red glasses nearly on the top of his nose while looking down. He’s cute, she thought. Against all of her expectations, Yoosung was understanding and warm. She smiled and began to walk over eagerly, feeling like Lady about to get a treat.

Guilt struck her, making her halt. Lady tried to run ahead and strained against the leash a few times before giving up and sitting down, scratching herself.

Kyungju bit her lip, continuing to stare at Yoosung who had no idea she was out here. Tempted as she was to enter the clinic and come up with some excuse to ask Yoosung out for an official coffee date, she couldn’t justify it. Yoosung was around her age and had his shit together better than her. No doubt her mom would be very pleased to know her daughter planned to hit it off with a doctor. An animal doctor, not that that would stop mother from counting in paychecks.

What was she even thinking? With a history like hers, it wasn’t right for her to ask him out. His friends, her parents, possibly even him, they’d all get the wrong idea. She had gotten a crush on another RFA member. What if she was responsible for causing a rift between Yoosung and the RFA?

And surely a guy like Yoosung must have a girlfriend as sweet as him already.

She spun around, fully intent on marching back to her house, only to be met with a man who obstructed her entire view. Startled, she took a few steps back. The man wore a typical gray office suit and his balding head was shiny from all the gel. His eyes widened as his amazement grew upon staring at her, dropping his suitcase next to his feet.

“Erm… Can I help you?” Kyungju asked.

“Echo Girl!” the man exclaimed in joy, clapping his hands together. “I can’t believe it’s really you! It’s me, Ben! I was- no, am!- your biggest fan, I used to send you a letter every month. Do you remember?”

Shit. “Ah… Not really. My agent let interns open the fanmail, I... didn’t.” Unpaid interns, she remembered. She didn’t want to bother with anything that wasn’t Zen back then.

Ben blinked at her. “What do you mean, you sent me replies back! They even had cute signatures! I really felt like we connected!”

“Automated reply letters,” Kyungju answered sheepishly.

“And the personalized autographed photo?”

“A copy. And the signature was never mine.”

Kyungju felt Lady paw at her ankles. Ben seemed lost, brows furrowing as he processed this new information. “I don’t… I don’t understand! We didn’t have something special back then? Why?”

“Because I didn’t care about anyone except me back then. Surely you must have read the scandal about me.”

The middle-aged man shook his head. “The magazines reported something, but it seemed more like a typical idol scandal. But then you disappeared. The fan club assumed you abandoned us.”

“It’s true, I did.” Better he knew now she was garbage. “It’s okay if you’re mad.”

His face completely fell. “I can’t believe this. I thought you had maybe some kind of family crisis and would come back in the future. I was hoping for your come-back! And then I could genuinely claim I am the number one fan!”

Lady reacted to his anger, growling as loud as a tiny poodle could. “God, I shouldn’t have wasted so much time on someone like you! Do you know how many you fooled with the fake crap you sold them? Was your singing even genuine or autotuned?”

“It was real,” she said, cruel words crash making her heart hurt. Lady was barking now, causing other shopkeepers to peer through their windows. Damn it, she swore quietly.

He jabbed a finger, nearly poking her chest. “Real my ass! You are supposed be pure, kind-”

“Hey!” came a sudden new voice, and they both turned towards the man with glaring purple eyes standing next to her. When had Yoosung snuck up on them?

Turned out Yoosung can be very intimidating, Kyungju discovered. His hands were clenched and his posture, wider from the white coat he wore, made him look ready to attack. The sweet, soft boy image of him she harbored since last time was nowhere to be found and she didn’t know whether to be fascinated or terrified. “What are you doing?!”

Ben bristled. “What am I doing? I’m giving this fake piece of shit what she deserves, that’s what!”

“How dare you talk to her like that - she’s still a human being!” Yoosung yelled back at him.

“It’s alright,” Kyungju said to Yoosung, who had moved in front of her, partially blocking her view of the angry fan. “I don’t mind, he has the right to.”

“Don’t say that!” Yoosung whirled around, expression equal parts anger and shock. “Kyungju, you can’t let him treat you like this!”

“Why not?” She bit back. “It’s true what he’s saying, isn’t it?”

“Why does that matter?!” He said, before pinching the bridge of his nose, calming down considerably. “I mean, yes, you did some bad things in the past. I don’t think anyone would dispute that.” He sighed, shoulders drooping. “But it’s obvious you’re genuinely sorry for what you’ve done. Letting yourself get verbally abused like this isn’t helping anyone. Why didn’t you tell him what you told me?” He gestured towards Ben, who stared at them considerably confused.

“This is different. He doesn’t know me.”

Yoosung gently took hold of her shoulders, and she recognized the same comforting gesture she gave him in the café. “Neither did I really, before we met. And even then, I was impressed by you. Everyone else would be too, if they knew. I’m sure of it.”

The dam she didn’t know she had inside her burst. Her eyes started to well up. Embarrassed, she rubbed them vigorously with the palm of her hand, feeling the heat of her cheeks. “Why are you so sweet?” she asked with a small pout. “I don’t deserve that kindness.”

“Of course you do. One day I’ll make you believe it.” Suddenly shy, he let go and blushed a little, aware of what he had said. Kyungju couldn’t help but giggle.

The sound of shoes scuffing the pavement brought about the startling reminder that they were never alone. Ben was still next to them, lost and hands raised awkwardly.

“Err…” he started.

“Look,” Kyungju intercepted, turning to him and clapping her hands together. “I can’t change the past and give you back your lost time. But I am genuinely sorry, and I have changed. I won’t be performing anymore.”

Ben returned to rage mode. “What does sorry do for me?! Do you think just cuz you’ve got a cute face that I’m going to forgive you?”

Kyungju grimaced. How long was this guy going to go on before she would have to threaten him? “I’m not asking for your forgiveness.”

“You should, because I’m done with you! It’s over!!” he yelled, grabbing his suitcase, walking off with his nose in the air. “Goodbye forever!”

Ben marched off, leaving the two blinking at the sudden turn. He had left the street before Kyungju and Yoosung grasped what had just happened, picking up the jaws that had dropped off. Then, she heard Yoosung attempt to muffle his snickers and before she knew it, they both laughed in unison.

“Wow, did you have to deal with his type all the time? I would go crazy,” Yoosung replied after he calmed down.

“Not all the time, thankfully.” Kyungju let out a sigh of relief. “Thanks Yoosung, I appreciate it.”

“No worries, when I saw you and that asshole outside, I couldn’t hold myself back.” Bashful, Yoosung scratched the back of his head.

How does he switch from scary to adorable so fast? Kyungju wondered. “I’m sorry for distracting you from your work.”

“We were closing up, so it’s fine. But what brings you back here again?”

“I live close by. And I, eh, I decided to pass by while walking Lady,” Kyungju admitted, blushing more.

“It’s good to see you still healthy! Haven’t been eating anything weird, have you?” Yoosung said as he bent down to pat Lady, who jumped to try to put her paws up as high as she could on Yoosung’s clean pants.

With things having calmed down, Kyungju followed Yoosung to his clinic, waiting inside while he locked up, his co-workers waving at them just like last time. She waved back as Lady chewed on her leash in boredom.

“Oh, Jaehee asked me to tell you that her café has new latté flavors. Maybe you’d like to try them?” Yoosung asked while he changed from his doctor’s coat to his leather jacket.

“Jaehee?”

“Ah, she’s my friend and the café owner. The café we went to last time.”

Is he asking me out? Kyungju thought, feeling the temperature rise. “Ah, sure, I’d love to try them. But won’t your girlfriend get annoyed with you hanging out with me?” she asked, instantly regretting how obvious she was.

Yoosung grabbed his keys on top of the front desk. “Girlfriend? I don’t think so, seeing as I don’t have one.” He shrugged, leading Kyungju to the front door.

It was hard for Kyungju not to let out any of the high-pitched squealing in her head. “Then, of course!”

“Great! I’m sure Jaehee would love your opinion on them,” Yoosung said enthusiastically, locking up the clinic behind them.

Kyungju wondered on whether this was a date or not. “Okay, but only if you choose a latte for me.”

“But… What if I choose something you don’t like?”

“I’m sure I will like anything you pick.” Kyungju smiled, Lady trotting by her side as they began to walk.

“You have varied taste, that’s good! I can be a bit picky sometimes,” Yoosung replied, placing his hands in his jacket pockets, practically beaming happiness.

Kyungju had a feeling Yoosung wasn’t getting it. But, either way, she was content being with him, at his side, feeling more comfortable than ever.

[violetsystems]

#personal

I sat and watched Home Alone 2 last night on the couch.  It’s the one where he gets lost in New York flying from ORD.  I haven’t been back to New York since my birthday.  My mom was asking whether or not I planned on going back for it.  I said I probably would.  Right now it’s too difficult to figure out anything without the elections concluding.  I was invited to a webinar from my bank about strategies during this particular time of volatility.  There was a lot of talk about how the markets and investors were waiting to see how things would pan out.  I’ve been sitting here waiting seemingly since July for an answer to everything that’s happened.  Most of it I’ve realized isn’t worth my time.  Every time I walk out the door someone has to make it a point to abuse my privacy in public.  It’s gotten so bizarre that I’ve simply filtered it all out responding to everything with a dead, blank stare.  People keep complaining that the world is getting worse and I’m pretty much left alone to deal with it.  After all these months, my friends here know the story all too well.  And yet the days just keep blending together like Groundhog day.  No one really cares what happened to me out here.  My neighbors follow me around with hushed looks.  I almost got run over again at the crosswalk.  A woman looked up at me after the incident.  She flashed a sad and knowing look.  I’m not even sure the incident was intentional.  But the look made it seem for once that somebody saw it all at that moment.  I’ve been writing for years about how this city relies on mob like pressure and bullying to get it’s way.  I’ve been the first to be ignored when it’s happened to me.  It’s almost chronic at this point.  I barely have any friends here in public anymore that check in on me.  The neighborhood itself is still pretty cohesive.  If you know the people who have lived here for years, those people remember who you are over time.  Everyone else seems to forget what you’ve been through almost immediately unless it benefits them.  The difference with wandering New York is that when you are forgotten you just blend into the noise.  Chicago is a much slower and smaller city comparatively.  It is also very much connected by gossip and tribal.  If you are on your own here, you’ll definitely feel it after awhile.  No matter how much the Midwest tries to portray it’s friendly brand of inclusiveness, it doesn’t like when it doesn’t get it’s way with you.  In New York, the minute is simply brushed off.  Maybe a fuck you for good measure.  Here in the Midwest and Chicago it is always personal.  It is stubborn and pigheaded.  And when it isn’t it is sheepish and awkward.  It projects the blame on you if you can’t find your voice.  And if your voice is out of step with the greater good and bottom line, good luck ever being heard from again.  So feeling lost in a city you’ve lived and worked in for over two decades is a ghostlike state.  You are a living, breathing memory trapped like a hologram behind plate glass.  Easily spied on through the kitchen window while you cook your dinner and secretly telegraphed about before you even leave the property.  

This would all be great if there was an outcome or an opportunity worth pivoting to.  You would think being the most recognizable target in Chicago would have some sort of payoff.  Personally I’ve always thought about it like the ultimate confidence builder.  The streets are nothing but a modified catwalk out here.  And the requirement of being completely unshakable in your walk here is constantly oppressive.  In New York, when you can walk the streets alone it feels like a special kind of freedom.  That everyone will forget if you cry in public.  That no one will ever make a big deal about who you choose to be.  That there are opportunities beyond being trapped in an ideological box until someone can figure out where to fit you into their economy.  Not to mention I live in a city where a billionaire hedge fund owner is donating money to stop a fair tax amendment.  Money controls everything,  This I have learned suddenly blessed with liquid capital and followed relentlessly by marketers, scam artists and wanna be celebrities salivating for the chance to swindle me out of it.  There’s no filter in a city for this kind of thing.  But in Chicago just like the Midwest, the tendrils dig in slower.  The corruption is so deep it’s hard to remove like a cancer.  Twenty years of staying stagnant in the same city has done nothing for me.  Everyone whispers behind my back.  I’ve never said anything to anybody other than what I write about here.  And nobody really knows who or what I write to anyway other than the people who read it.  And so if this kind of communication is the only form of emotional contact I have these days, why do I bother trying to pick back up the pieces in a city that is beyond contentious to me every fucking day?  I don’t know that I really want to answer that.  I’ve been holding out on jobs with no reply.  New jobs roll into my mailbox every day.  Mostly in China.  Which is a rather significant move to make by myself with little or no support system beyond the shadows.  I keep hearing the economy won’t recover until March at best.  Personally I’m cash positive until July without eating into investments or falling backwards.  I don’t know that I can stay here past the winter.  Everyone has elevated their interactions with me in public to a scary sort of performance.  Everyone thinks I know who they are.  Everyone thinks I’m in on the joke.  My attention to detail and my cybersecurity leanings have me looking over my shoulder every day.  I see more things that trouble me.  I see no options for a future here.  I have no friends.  Nobody calls or texts other than my mom.  This doesn’t mean I’m unhappy.  It’s quite the opposite.  Every once in a blue moon, when the person I care about deeply rears her head online it all ceases to matter to me.  I just think beyond the pain towards a future I deserve first and foremost for myself.  And that starts with me making independent choices for myself no matter how hard they are.  And the writing on the wall seems to be clear to not only me.  Timing and execution are key.  So how long do you suffer until you just give up on what you’ve built and move on?

For the record, moving on to China or New York in March at the latest isn’t something I’m particularly unprepared for.  The general feeling I get from this city is either it doesn’t want me around or doesn’t particularly care.  It projects this message that is both intentional and frustratingly vague.  It’s abusive simply put.  And to suffer through that alone is something I’ve become very good at.  I am an only child.  I suffered intense bullying growing up.  There were times when I snapped.  Every time I’ve gotten angry it makes me look uglier.  And yet every time I’ve gotten angry it’s for a very good reason.  I show my ID and people make fun of how violent and mean I look.  I get treated like a criminal and worse.  I feel both useless and famous at the same time.  Nobody has the humanity enough to connect and look me in the eyes.  Unless it’s after almost getting run over in my neighborhood.  If I leave that culture leaves with me.  And that’s mostly what people here in Chicago want.  They can’t stand people who do their own thing.  They judge themselves against it.  They compare and neg.  They bring everyone down to their mediocrity under the guise of us all being in this together.  But it’s really just there isn’t enough money and opportunity to go around.  And they want total control of the limited resources available.  This includes human capital.  I often feel these days like I’m in some open air slave market.  That I’m supposed to know my place and get with the program.  It’s so disturbingly fractured in two camps.  One camp wants nothing but to get me out of their hair.  And the other doesn’t want to admit how shady and organized the targeting has been.  The Midwest always likes to think “it can’t happen here.”  Until it does and no one wants to face the beast in the eye.  When you’ve conquered the bosses and they never concede, how do you even win at the game they control?  To be clear, I can just leave.  I can take a flight to New York and find a shitty job.  I can find a room and be away from these people.  I can take a flight to Shanghai and apply for any number of multinationals.  I can do all of this because I have self respect for myself.  What I cannot do is be treated like less than human in a city that I gave my life to.  It’s a fucking mess here.  My life is not a mess.  My life for the first time in as long as I can remember is more in control than ever.  And the loose ends are people who have no right to pry, judge or intimidate.  And this is just life.  Those people don’t go away.  My friends here did.  How convenient is it to have everyone turn their back on me?  Everybody except you.  Yes, all of you here.  But most importantly the person I’ve written these for years on end.  You know I’ll be okay.  And you know things take time.  But the time here in this city has been wasted.  And there’s nothing much I’m holding onto except a leaky roof over my head with busted tiles and the books I have left.  The baggage I’m leaving behind are the people who never cared to make room for the people that do.  I also don’t have a problem with throwing it all in the trash.  Just look at all the shit Allied Universal security and ABM threw out from my office without a care or a call.  I don’t even know where that went.  And neither do I really care about anything in my past at this point.  I just have to survive the rest of 2020 until I get to a place where I can be free.  And it’s not so lonely knowing you see it too.  <3 Tim

[theliterateape]

If Yogi Bear Were God, I’d Have This Thing Wrapped Up

by Don Hall

From a Letter from Pontus Pilate to Tiberius Caesar:

...from that moment I was convinced that the conquered had declared themselves the enemy of the conquerors; and I would warn the Romans to beware of the high Priests of this country. They would betray their own mother to gain office and a luxurious living. It seems to me that, of conquered cities, Jerusalem is the most difficult to govern. So turbulent are the people that I live in momentary dread of an insurrection.

At first I was apprehensive that his design was to stir up the people against the Romans, but my fears were soon dispelled. Jesus of Nazareth spoke rather as a friend of the Romans than of the Jews. One day in passing by the place of Siloe, where there was a great concourse of people, I observed in the midst of the group a young man who was leaning against a tree, calmly addressing the multitude. I was told it was Jesus. This I could easily have suspected, so great was the difference between him and those listening to him. His golden-colored hair and beard gave him the appearance of a celestial aspect. He appeared to be about thirty years old. Never have I seen a sweeter or more serene countenance. What a Contrast between him and his hearers, with their black beards and tawny completion!

I extended to him my protection, unknown perhaps to himself. He was at liberty to act, to speak, to assemble and address the people, and to choose disciples, unrestrained by any Praetorian mandate. Should it ever happen {May the gods avert the omen!} should it ever happen, I say that the religion of our forefathers will be supplanted by the religion of Jesus, it will be to this noble toleration that Rome shall owe her premature death, while I, miserable wretch, will have been the instrument of what the Jews call Providence, and we call destiny.

Pilate knew that he was witnessing a new religion forming when he saw Jesus speak. He could see the demise of Roman rule at the hands of this new prophet and gave him the freedom to speak publicly about it. People believe in things that inspire them or provide them with a road to dominance because religion is both a way to codify behavior for oneself and to then enforce that behavior from everyone else.

Back in college, I really wanted to date Diane. OK. That was coy. I wanted to jump her bones. There was chemistry but she was Mormon. Like, full-on Mormon. Her father was an elder at her church. She told me before we could date I had to talk to him first. He invited me to meet at the church.

“You want to see my daughter socially?”

“Well, yeah. Uhm. Yes, sir. I would.”

“We don’t allow dating outside of the church. Would you be interested in coming to some classes and workshops before I give permission?”

“I’m a college student. Classes and workshops are all I do right now, so sure.”

For six weeks I’d go to Mormon school. Diane would check in with me at lunch in the commons area to see how it was going. I sat through spiritual exercises, hour-long seminars on the history of the church, and workshops designed to indoctrinate me into this odd belief system. If something they told me was not unintelligible, it was vague. If neither unintelligible or vague, it was unverifiable.

Yet these decent people believed. They believed in the absurd story of Joseph Smith and his magic glasses and disappearing golden tablets. They believed that multiple marriages primed them to live as gods and goddesses in the afterlife (even though officially they denied this, the classes sure made polygamy seem like the path to follow). There was the whole thing about binding underwear.

“Well, Mr. Hall. You’ve passed your classes. Any thoughts about what you learned?”

I wanted to get into Diane’s pants but not enough to stop myself from being honest.

“Sir, no disrespect intended but I’d sooner believe that Yogi Bear was the Divine Creator before putting my faith in this nonsense.”

While leaving me with a six week case of blue balls the time was instructional although not in the manner expected. I wondered what was going through the minds of people who believed Smith when he told them his bullshit story? I’m certain some thought he was a loon, others thought he was maybe an idiot, but enough people believed that it started a new branch of Christianity. That’s big. A new religion in the midst of so many.

Like Scientology, the Branch Davidians, the Aetherius Society, the Gentle Wind Project, and the Reformed Druids of North America, it seems so many are looking for answers in cults so cults are born on the flimsiest of reasons with nonexistent means to verify their connection to truth.

Turns out it isn’t difficult to start a cult and gain followers.

Step 1: Choose a set of grievances and attribute them to an amorphous enemy.

In the odd quirk of being the only truly conscious animal on the planet, each one of us is the hero (or anti-hero) of our own private movie. Each of us, whether we choose to acknowledge it or not, believe that our struggle is the Greatest Struggle (often in spite of all evidence to the contrary). The Cult of Personality functions by breaking that quirk down, effectively convincing people that someone else is the real hero and themselves pawns to his or her victory over the Other. The Cult of Personal Anguish exploits this quirk, enforcing that each of us has Greater Pain than anyone else and by attacking the Other, we each receive our due.

So pick one. Pick some slight you feel personally. Anything that makes you feel all the bad feels. You know, because you are misunderstood and treated with less...whatever you think you deserve. Hell, pick a couple that seem related.

Some examples might include:

You feel objectified by _____. You feel unheard by _____. You feel left out by _____. You feel criticized and shamed by _____. Your choices in life have left you with LESS than _____. _____ are happier or more fulfilled than you

Step 2: Use language to pre-emptively invalidate all criticism or questioning.

This is key. The idea is to take an already agreed upon set of words that denote injustice or abuse and gradually expand the meaning until your specific anguish is cloaked in them. That way, when anyone questions your logical conclusions, you can throw out those words and phrases and shut down dissent.

If someone is critical of a war, they are automatically supporting terrorists. If someone tells an off color joke in the office, he is automatically a sex offender. If someone points out the obvious connection of a flag to slavery, she is automatically attacking your cultural heritage.

By expanding the umbrella that words mean, you destroy the nuances of language. Like when the word "rape" — defined as sexual intercourse without consent — is attached to the word "culture" and suddenly paints a broader brush that covers pretty much anything men say or do. Attaching the word "verbal" to the very specific "assault" amps up the calling of names to felony territory. Add "heritage" to a long standing bigoted "culture" and it seems goddamned noble.

More importantly, let these words and phrases completely dominate your discourse. Find ways to attack anything and everything through the prism of your pain. Eventually you and your followers will begin to lose the ability to see the complexities of living on a rock with seven billion fucking people and only see society through that kalaidiscope of personal misery. The mere opening of a door can be construed as sexist. The practice of women's basic health 97% of the time is completely eradicated because of a legal surgical procedure. Everything a white person says or does is automatically racist in intent.

A Cult of Personal Anguish requires a huge degree of fealty to these horse blinders, this narrowing of the world within the tunnel of your personal oppression or it falls apart under scrutiny.

Step 3: Recruit others who either feel that grievance or gain something by identifying.

In the Age of Constant Connectivity, this is a breeze. White Supremacist groups would be pocketed away in small, dark corners if not for the internet. With this tightening of the world via digital communication, being heard by others who hurt the same hurts as you is easier than ever before. 

There are also on the periphery those who, while they don't exactly feel your specific pain, gain a sense of validation by identifying with it. These "allies" to your cause are good for numbers but don't count upon them if things get tough. While they can assist in many ways, these are just groups of seekers who feel that things aren't quite fair enough for them but have no esoteric pain to attach to. Your cause is like a t-shirt they can wear and feel included in something bigger than themselves. 

Speaking of, sell t-shirts. Your "allies" will buy them. That's how you can tell them from your True Believers and you can make a couple of bucks in the process.

Step 4: Create an “Us vs Them” Mentality

Essential. Without an enemy to blame your grief upon, your cult goes nowhere. Focus lots of energy in pointing out the differences rather than similarities. The similarities weaken your cult. The differences are the fucking gas on the fire. Using Step 2 to amp up the discord, be on a constant attack on the Other. Ignore those other groups who, perhaps, have some of the same grievances because YOUR cause is FAR more important than theirs.

Remember the propaganda of WWII that reduced all Germans and all Japanese to evil caricatures. Observe how FOX News demonizes anyone who doesn't fall in line with their narrow worldview. Find your version of Bobby Jindal or Ben Carson to turncoat against those you see as Them. Remember, this is WAR (because if you attach the word "war" to anything else, it automatically becomes a Big Deal).

Become a Single Issue Proponent. Anyone who is not completely loyal to your cult becomes a part of the cause of your hurt. This is a broad strokes, scorched Earth approach that has succeeded for thousands of years.

When called out on this focus, obfuscate the issue by claiming a broader definition of the problem/oppressor:

"I love all sinners but hate the sin." "When I say 'white people are racist' I mean the system is racist." "I'm not saying Mexicans are the problem. All illegal immigrants steal our jobs..." "I'm not attacking the Good Policemen just the 'bad apples' when I say Kill the Cops." "It's not a war on women. It's a war on what's inside of women."

Once you have these four steps nailed down, go organize. Get a non-profit status or a Super PAC to support you (I mean, while you are out there sowing the seeds of revolution, someone has to pay the bills, amiright?) and legitimize your cult as either a political movement, a righteous cause, or a religion. Look around — there are legal organizations surrounding the pain Christians feel about abortions they don't have, the anguish Southerners have when removing their flag, coercing airlines to increase seat capacity for the Differently Weighted, the misery certain people have when their kids read about evolution, and Online Bullying.

A generation of citizens with crushing debt and few genuine job opportunities can feel bereft of transcendence and meaning, and “becoming woke” fills that spiritual hole. “Woke” is religion without God which strips away all the trappings of what we know of religion, simplifies the complexities of things like racism, income inequality, and the environment, and is really easy. Like Christianity, you profess your wickedness, confess your sins, and tithe to the church and you go to heaven.

Like early Catholicism, you wage war on those unbelievers and call it conversion. Create a moral binary that dictates a ‘with us or against us’ scenario and hammer it home. Spin the soft bigotry of yesterday and make it antiracism. No one likes to be called a racist and with no way to demonstrate that one is not racist, the moral binary takes hold.

I’ve read the books and heard the arguments. I believe most in the current cult are decent people who somehow believe in their movement.

Should it ever happen {May the gods avert the omen!} should it ever happen, I say that the religion of our forefathers will be supplanted by the religion of Kendi and DiAngelo, it will be to this noble toleration that America shall owe her premature death.

As for me? I’d sooner believe that Yogi Bear was the Divine Creator before putting my faith in this nonsense.

[toomanysurveys9]

Have you ever read the Hunger Games series? i have not. i’ve thought about it but i’m not sure if i’d like it. When was the last time you ran into something? yesterday at the factory i’m working at. Do you enjoy dressing up? not so much. i feel extremely uncomfortable with my body after having a baby and i’m still breastfeeding, so that doesn’t help. Do you live in the city or a rural area? city. but it’s a smaller city where there’s never anything to do. Would you say you have a sense of style? i do, but it’s just kind of big t-shirts and jeans.

What’s your biggest fear? failing as a mother and at life in general. Have you ever been bitten by a wild animal? i have not. Are you close to any of your cousins? we used to be when we were younger but as we’ve all grown up and life has happened, we’re not. Have you ever been lost in the woods? not really, no. Where did you last travel? last place of significance was kentucky this past may. Do you enjoy driving? depends. generally, i get pretty bored with it pretty quickly. i rather ride shotgun and pick the music or in back with wyatt. What song did you last listen to? whatever was on the radio. If you have a job, how often do you work? i’m working at a factory operating a rivet machine so i can afford christmas because jake wants to be an ass. that’s monday through probably saturday, 5 am to 2:30 pm. then i go home and take care of my baby love. oh. he also still doesn’t sleep through the night, so that’s been fun. i get no sleep. i can’t wait to be past christmas so i don’t have to work there anymore. it’d be different if i was doing something i loved, but i’m not. What time do you normally go to sleep at night? whenever wyatt decides it’s bed time. Do you watch a lot of movies? eh, kind of. we have netflix and movies and that’s alll.. Do you like Tom Petty? i think i enjoy a couple songs but i’m not a super big fan or anything. Would you rather have snow or rain? rain. i hate snow. it’s just cold and complicates driving. Do you own a lot of sweaters? i own two. i only have one here. Have you ever tried rock-climbing? i have not. i don’t think i’d be good at it. Ever ridden in a police car? yeah. when i was taken to this place to talk to a forensic psychologist about my cousins who abused me as well as others... Favorite decade of music? i guess the 90′s and early to mid-2000′s? Have any of your best friends been your best friend longer than a year? yeah. kayla has been and so has jake. Ever witnessed a murder? i have not. Do you care what people think of you? ugh. i do but at the same time, i don’t. it’s complicated. Does your room have a ceiling fan? no, it doesn’t. Would you consider yourself poised? nope. Have you ever tried blogging? only tumblr, and i’m not sure what i do here really counts.... Favorite television channel? food network and cooking... usa... stuff like that. Have you ever lied under oath? no, because i’ve never been under oath. but if i were, i definitely wouldn’t lie. What are your religious views? i don’t have any. Are you a romantic person? not so much anymore. used to try but it’s not really worth it. Would you consider yourself a flirt? not even a little. At what age do you plan to be married? i am married. i got married when i was 22 to jake, who i have been with since right before high school. Do you eat a lot of junk food? not a lot, but still probably more than i should. When did you last go on vacation? this past may. Are you resilient? i’m not sure that’d be a word anyone would use to describe me. Have you ever failed a subject before? nope. If so, what was the class? Do you wear more bright or dull colors? dull. i wear a lot of grays and black. Do you know anyone who has attempted suicide? a few people, myself included. What’s your favorite quote? "and she loved a little boy very, very much; even more than she loved herself.” Would you consider yourself mature? for the most part, yes. How many clocks are in your house? i don’t know the exact number but we have quite a few ways to know the time.... most aren’t actually clocks exactly though. Do you play any sports? i do not. What is your biggest life regret? trusting anyone. ever. Have you ever been injured in a car accident? i have not. If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be? far away from here. Have you ever had highlights in your hair? i have not. too much work. Favorite fast food restaurant? i don’t really have a favorite. In what country were you born? the u.s. Are your eyes more than one color? no. just blueish. Have you ever caught something on fire? nothing comes to mind. What would you consider your biggest flaw? i’m emotional. i care too much. What do you think your best quality is? i don’t even know. i guess i’m a pretty good mom.

Do you enjoy listening to others’ problems? i mean. i’m not sure i’d say i enjoy it. i feel horrible when i hear about the things people are going through.... i’m good at it though. Do you keep any plants in your house? nope. What is your mother’s occupation? stay at home mom. Do any of your friends like your musical style? yeah.. for the most part. What are you most looking forward to? quitting the factory job. What was your favorite television show as a child? i don’t know. when i was really little, barney. Are you afraid of insects? certain ones, yes. Are you cold-natured? lately i have been. How old were you when you got your first pet? i don’t remember exact age. Did you/do you enjoy high school? i enjoyed some of it. What would you say was your favorite age? young child before all the bad. but i really like my current age thanks to wy. What annoys you most about social networking? almost everything yet i use it. lol. i really hate that people hide behind their phones and computers and think it’s okay to be assholes to people. Are you the center of attention most of the time? not even close, which is fine with me. What are you currently reading? willow. most of my books got taken to storage. When did you last go to the library? it’s been a very long time. Are you ill at the moment? nope. just tired. Do people tease you about anything? yeah... i have a lot of weird quirks i guess. How late did you stay up last night and why? it was after 11:30... i wanted to finish watching john wick.

Have you ever written poetry? yeah. i used to really enjoy it. Curtains or shades? we usually use shades. How many people have you spoken to in the last hour? six. Do you tend to text a lot? no. i have no one to talk to. Ever lost a great best friend? yeah. story of my life. What is your favorite kind of flower? lilacs. How tall are you? about 5′3″ or something. Do you own any guns? not at the moment. my husband has quite a few though. What would you say is your favorite book of all-time? there are too many amazing books to choose. Do you think you’re living a good life? eh. there’s a lot of bad right now. What’s your least favorite part of the day? when i have work, that’d be it. Are you an over-achiever? depends what it is. Have you ever won an award for a speech? no. i hate speeches so i don’t give them much. Do you tend to curse a lot? sometimes, yes. Have you ever played on the Ouija board? nah. no reason to. they’re not real. Do you sleepwalk? nope. Have you ever slept on the floor before? many times. Are you a fan of public displays of affection? eh. depends. personally, i’m okay with holding hands, hugs, and maybe some not super intense kissing, but i’m not a super open person. When did you last attend a yard sale? a couple years ago. Do you wish your life were simpler or more interesting? more interesting i guess. What goals do you wish to accomplish tomorrow? just spending time with my baby. When is your birthday? september 1st. Which is worse: going blind or deaf? both would be hard to adjust to since i’ve had both senses my whole life. What was the best part of today? cuddles with my baby. and getting to take a nice, warm shower. i even got to shave my legs. Do you attempt to stay away from drama? for the most part, but it somehow manages to find me from time to time.

What liquid did you last drink? sprite. Do you ever prefer to be alone? i’m fine if wy is with me always, but other than him, yes. Have you ever had a deadly animal as a pet? no. Favorite Disney movie? the lion king. Have you ever been to the beach? yes. it can be fun. If you have, how many times have you been? lots of times. we used to take yearly trips to florida. What was your dream occupation at age ten? singer. Are you terrified at the idea of weight-gain? i have self-esteem issues, so it kind of does i guess. Do you drink a lot of water? not as much as i should. i don’t drink anything as much as i should. Does your room have carpet or hard-wood floors? it’s the floor that was under the carpet so neither. Do you take naps daily? nope. Who were you named after? first name is after a character on a soap opera. middle name is after my nanny (aka my mom’s foster mom). Do you plan on traveling this spring or summer? this spring and summer has passed. Do you know anyone who is colorblind? no one comes to mind. Have you ever been a teacher’s pet? jake has called me that. What is your absolute favorite hobby? reading and playing with wy. How many times a day do you brush your teeth? twice, depending how many times i’ve eaten and whatnot. Ever been to a tanning bed before? i have not. Are you satisfied with your financial stability? no. Who is your favorite actor/actress? misha collins, jensen ackles, and jared padalecki.

Are your nails painted? no. as always. What’s the meanest thing you’ve ever said to someone? i’m sure i said some not too nice things to michelle but she’s a psycho bitch who wanted to talk shit about me as a parent and wy. that shit isn’t going to fly with me. i suck at every aspect in my life EXCEPT that one. and who the hell talks about an innocent baby, and your nephew who you tried claiming to love so much at that? like seriously. and we won’t even go into the shit that was said when i was pregnant because she was jealous i was pregnant first (she wasn’t even seeing anyone). oh, and all of that drama started because i said her brother said we weren’t going to her grandpa’s house but that i’d talk to him. apparently he’s not a grown man who makes his own decisions. sorry. i am still having issues with her and jake’s entire dad’s side and it’s pissing me off. Do you ever accidentally talk to inanimate objects? i’ve never accidently talked to them, no. What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream? lately, plain vanilla is fine. Have you ever kissed someone of the same gender? on a dare, twice. Do you receive any hate mail? nope. Have you ever sent a letter in the mail? yeah. a long time ago. If you could, would you have a pen pal? eh. it’s whatever. What color are the pants you’re wearing? blue jeans. Have you ever had a stalker? not really. What is your life philosophy? i’m just trying to be the best mom i can and trying to give wy a good life. other than that, i don’t care much about life. Who last sent you a goodnight text message? no clue. Do you own any clothes that are your favorite color? yup. Have you ever been in a hot tub before? yeah. they’re pretty nice. What’s your favorite comedy movie? i just watched fist fight and that one was pretty good. i’m also a robin williams fan and jim carrey.

[dianepoststhings-blog]

The interview

What’s your name?

My name is Franck Walker.

Where were you born?

I was born in New York City, New York so and I was born in the village of Harlem, which is in upper Manhattan. Harlem is the Indian name for Manhattan but we call it New York City.

What is your date of birth?

I was born March the 15th 1949. I’m 70 years old.

Where did you grow up?

I grew up in New York city exclusively. I grew up in apartment.

What were your parents’ job?

My mother was a housewife and she worked with the PTA (The Parents Teachers Association) so she was part of the educational system. She didn't work full time because she had 8 children.

My father worked at The Metropolitan Opera House and he was the first black scenery director at the Metropolitan Opera House. This is before Lincoln Center, this was the original Metropolitan Opera in New York City.

Do you have siblings?

I have, I had I should say five brothers and two sisters. I lost 4 of my brothers and 1 of my sisters so it’s just now all the 3 of us: my older brother Clarence, and younger sister Allegra.

What was your dream job when you were little?

There were so many. When I was a kid, I was going to be a singer, and I sang for the Metropolitan Opera Boys Choir, but my voice changed. Because my father worked at the Metropolitan, he encouraged us to play instruments, so I played the cello for 8 years. My parents said I had to play an instrument, everybody had to play an instrument in my house.

Did your parents force you to play an instrument?

They didn’t force us, they suggested strongly because they didn't want us playing in the street. You had to have activities after school. It was either that or to church, and I went to church every day until I was 15.

Why did you stop?

Because I could, I was old enough to say I'm not going anymore. I went to religious instruction every day every.

What is your religion?

I'm African Methodist Episcopal. It's the Church of England.

What was your dream job dream?

From the time I was 12 years old, my mother used to do my sister hair for church on Sundays. So she will wash their hair Friday night, and then she would do the brushing and all on Saturdays. She used to burn them every other Saturday because it was every 2 weeks. She would be talking on talking and running her mouth, so she would burn them, so they will start to cry on Saturday before she started. One time I said to my mother: “Why don't you pay attention to what you're doing”, and she said to me: “Who you’re talking to?”. And I said: “I'm talking to you because you’re burning them in they’re crying”. She looked at me, and we were allowed to talk, so she said: “You think you can do a better job”. I said:” I can't do any worst”, so she said: “Go ahead”, so I did their hair. I did their hair so well and I didn't burn them, then she said: “OK from now on, and I'm going to pay and if you do it anybody else’s hair they must pay”. That's how I started doing hair so I was going to be a designer I always could do hair but I was going to be a designer. When I took my entrance exam for art design, they said it wasn’t my work, so they made me sketch in front of them, so I did and I passed. Then, I decided to go with design and illustration, but I was always drawing pictures of hair.

In my 10th grade I was going to school, and after I was working in a salon so I started working there at 16 years old. So I have been doing hair and makeup for 54 years.

Give me 3 qualities you have and rate them.

I have the ability to put myself in your place somebodyelses place so whatever you're going through I can imagine it's happening to me. I have that empathy for people and that's one of the characteristics about myself that I like most.

I'm funny I think it's one of my better qualities I have a great sense of humor.

I am a dreamer. Usually, my daydreams become realities, it’s not just daydreaming for nothing I think.

What is your worst habit?

My habit is eating anything. I'm a diabetic and I'm not supposed to have sweets and I love to eat them.  My diabetes is really under control. When you have diabetes it doesn't mean that you can't have sweets it means you have to know your limits.

I’m a procrastinator, I put things off, I hate to admit it but I am. I'll do it tomorrow.

What is your happiest memory?

I was about 17 years old and my mom was always making sacrifices for the kids. So sometimes she was wearing the same thing over again. When I got my job, every week I would put away money, and I bought an outfit for my younger siblings from the from the shoes to the beret. For my mother, I bought everything from the shoes to the gloves. My mother was concerned about what she was going to get the kids for Easter, so when I came home that day, I had all these boxes. She said: “you've been shopping, what did you buy yourself?”. I said that it wasn’t for me but for the kids and she kissed me and she said: “You’re a good son you’re always so thoughtful”. She opened up each thing and she was happy. When she opened up the box for her, she just burst into tears.

What is your worst memory?

It’s the death of my mom. She had a colon cancer and they had given her 6 months to live. She was 45 years old. We were just devastated. I was 16 at the time, and the idea that my mother, my best friend was not going to be there anymore… Then she went into remission, and she lived for 10 years. She was living in Bermuda, and she fell and it activated her cancer for whatever reason. She came back in August and went in the hospital in September and she never came out. She died that January the 2nd 1975. To watch her from this woman full of life just diminish. She couldn't talk. I remember it was the end of the year and she said to me: “I don't want you to come tomorrow you’re here every day, go out and enjoy yourself.”. I did and I'm getting ready that morning on the 2nd to go to the hospital, and I got a phone call that my mom had passed. I was so pissed that they told me on the phone and it wasn't the hospital it was a friend of mine who want to see my mom. He should never have told me that my mother died on the phone let me come to the hospital and then let me let somebody in my family tell me. How I was going to deal with this knowing that I would have to do her body because we had agreement from when I was a young boy “When I die I wanted my hair, my nails and my make-up done, I want them to see my shoes”. I knew the moment she died I was gonna happen and I did. I was 25 years old.

Is your dad still alive?

My father died my father died in April 1974. They were divorced. I lived with my mother until I was around 18 and then I moved out. In America you are encouraged to be on your own, to be independent because you will have to take care of yourself for the rest of your life, so you might as well start early. I had a job when I was 13 years old, I used to be a paperboy.

What were your relationship with your father?

He was a very smart man and he could be extremely kind, but he was not a man that should have had 8 children. He was a mommas boy, he always had his mother to do things for him. When he was very young his father left home. I'm sure that this has some type of effect on him. I think he meant to be a good father, but he wasn't responsible. He was still living his life like he was single. My mother was from a very wealthy family, and my mother had five older brothers. When she got pregnant, she got married. My uncle told her to not marry him because he was never going to be a man. My relationship with him was volatile because he could be abusive, instead of being mad at himself he would take it out on my mom, he never took this responsibility for what went wrong and I think what compounded the stuation was that my mother's family had money. When he couldn’t afford something, my mother would get the money from her family. I think he may have the less.

He had an accident on his job and he injured himself. He never recovered from it, so he started to drink. He died at 58 years old. I asked her: “Mom did you ever love daddy?”, and she said: “I liked him”.

What is your greatest achievement?

Being 70 years old. I don't know a lot of people my contemporaries that are 70 years old, mostly people my age is dead.  I'm in France, I've been in France for 28 years. I guess that's an achievement. I was 42 years old when I came here.

Why did you leave America?

I had a cousin here, and we were going to open a salon here. In America, I had a lot of celebrity clientele, and sometimes when you’re doing celebrity people, they talk too much about their personal life, and then, they get mad at you because they told you. They want you to sign a piece of paper saying that you won't repeat what they said, and it got to be too much for me. When I came to France, I could do hair and not talk, I didn't speak a word of French. I was known for taking good care clients, and they would just say: “Do me”.

What is my future achievement?

I want to write a book about my life and my experience in France because I love France, I really do. I love the French people.

Do you have any regrets in your life?

Yes, I have many regrets. But nothing big. I would have liked to be a parent. I had 2 children and they both died, one at birth and the other one she lived by a week or two. I worked out in my head and wasn’t for me.

What do you like the most in life?

I like to be alone, I’m a loner. I was like this when I was 7. In a house full of kids, I would play be myself. I can amuse myself. I do like me.

Are you currently satisfied of your life?

Yes, I am right now. But this is kind of new to me what I’m going through right now, because I'm in the middle of changing my whole life here. I'm containt, but I’m not happy happy but I'm going to be. There’s a lot of things coming, next year, I'm going to be with my family. There are coming to Paris. I'm very very happy everything in my apartment will be finished.

Do you want to get married?

I’ve been married since 1978 with my wife. We just never got a divorce, we had a daughter and she died, so there was no reason for us to stay together. I mean we loved each other but not that much, not for lifetime. I told her that if she ever wants to get married again, I will sign the paper, but she never did. I’ve never seen her in 30 years.

[trashwrites]

Past Is Prologue Ch. 3

Here it comes, some more installments of that good good Outlast feel!

--

Ch.1 | Ch.2 | Ch. 3 

-- 

Past is Prologue, Ch. 3 

Outlast; Eventual miles/Waylon; SFW 

Warnings for: Mental Illness, Anxiety Attacks, Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse, Trauma, Light Violence.

--

“Sometimes, when she was talking to the doctor, I’d see Lisa turn and look at me like- like she was looking at a monster. Even before the lawyers and the police and the feds - she looked at me, and she knew that I had done awful things, that I’d gone somewhere she was- was disgusted by, terrified of. Knew I was unfixable. When they did fill her in on what had happened, what kind of a ‘psychological liability’ I might be, I don’t think she was even surprised.”

--

“Is it much farther?”

Miles took a good, long drag of his cigarette. “Not much, no.”

Waylon tried to keep his focus on Miles without seeming too conspicuous about it. He walked tall and impassive beside him, as though he weren’t about to be swallowed up by the heaving mass of people all around them, and the curving, creaking buildings that stretched like glass ribs around the streets.

He shuddered, looking down from the skyscrapers just in time to feel his prosthetic catch on a crumbling gap in the sidewalk. Miles grabbed the sleeve of Waylon’s jacket before he could hurtle forward; it may have only been a few days, but Miles’ reflexes had already caught up to Waylon’s clumsiness.

Waylon took a minute to get his bearings. He flinched when a passerby brushed against him and bumped hard against Miles’ side.

Miles stopped and patted his back encouragingly, stiffening but allowing Waylon to grip his sleeve as they tried to resume a normal walking pace. Waylon’s trembling vibrated up his arm.

“Look, I’m sorry we had to come out here, but I can only eat Chinese takeout so many times in one week. You didn’t have to come along,” Miles sighed.

Waylon winced and tried to form an apology before he was halted by the thin smile at the corners of Miles’ mouth.

“…thanks for coming with me, though,” Miles said.

Waylon’s shoulders fell with relief. He tried to return the pleased expression, but from the expression of alarm on Miles’ face, it hadn’t worked. Suddenly all of the city noise had crashed in on Waylon, and in that panic he pulled Miles’ jacket closer to him. He squeezed his eyes shut, letting himself be guided and trying to pretend there was no one else on the street.

Just me and Miles, walking to the store. In silence. Calm. Quiet.

The darkness behind his eyelids only made the roaring din of everyday city noise swell to an unbearable crescendo in his head. Waylon gasped with the painful way his heart juddered against his sternum.

Anybody could be out here, and I’d never know. Murkoff agents, murderers, Gluskin, surrounded by the quiet malevolence of human beings who only wanted to hurt-

Miles looped his arm through Waylon’s and pulled him in closer. “There’s really nothing to be afraid of,” Miles said, “I’ve lived here a long time, you know. It’s not that bad. It’s safe. You’ll be okay.”

“Safe,” Waylon whispered to himself. He still didn’t open his eyes.

Miles steered them down a wide alley, shadowed by the tenements on either side and devoid of any other people. Waylon was dizzy with how his held breath came rushing out of him.

“S’ a shortcut anyway,” Miles mumbled.

Waylon kept his eyes opened and focused on the ground in front him the rest of the way.

The little grocery store’s light-up letters hung dangerously akimbo from the entryway, making a rusty squeal with each passing breeze. Inside, Waylon idled behind while Miles started a soldier-like march through the cramped aisles, grabbing things seemingly at random.

He snuck to the front counter while Miles stared with suspicion at a pyramid of ramen packets.

“Uh, hey….could I get a carton of uh, Lucky Strikes?”

He had a fistful of money halfway to the clerk’s hand when a shopping basket clattered loudly on the counter in front of him. Coins tinkled like wind chimes as they scattered across the counter and onto the floor as Waylon jerked away.

“Aw hell Park, for me?” Miles grinned and stopped to grab Waylon’s wallet from where he’d dropped it. He frowned briefly at the wallet’s contents before handing it over.

Waylon pocketed his wallet and handed Miles the cigarette carton. “Y-y-yeah, yeah…sorry for the cloak and dagger. I um, wanted to pay you back, and I didn’t think you’d let me.”

“Well, you were probably right about that. But…thanks.” Miles tucked it into his satchel of groceries and threw it over his shoulder. “Ready to go?”

-

They were quiet on their way out and down the deserted alleyway.

“Cute kids,” Miles said, staring straight ahead.

Waylon’s head snapped to look at him, wide eyed and feeling cold spread from his stomach to his limbs. He hissed breath in through his teeth and tried to ignore the way the question prickled behind his eyes.

Miles cleared his throat. “Pictures. In your wallet.”

“Yeah…thanks, I guess.”

“What’re their names?”

“Lynn and Cassidy.”

Miles rolled his eyes. “Kind of old-fashioned if you ask me.”

Waylon tried to smile and shrugged.

“Sorry to bring it up,” Miles said, after a few tense minutes.

“Cassidy wants to make robots when he grows up,” Waylon said- almost too quiet to notice at first. “Lisa always joked about him trying to outdo me with the programming thing.”

“What’s Lynn like?”

Waylon turned to inspect some graffiti on a piece of metal grating. Miles pretended not to see the tears that trickled down against his lips.

“I guess I’ll never get to find out,” Waylon said, “he’d just turned two when I left.”

“…Sorry, Way.”

Waylon laughed in a harsh bark. “It’s for the best, right? Lynn’s young enough to forget I was ever there. I wish they could too, Lisa and Cassidy.”

“I-I’m sure they don’t think-“

“Seeing them after, it was just…” He rubbed his eyes angrily. “It was like they were looking at someone else. Someone who scared them. They looked like the police had grabbed a man off the streets and pretended he was their dad, their husband. They stayed with me at the hospital, but…”

Miles sidled up to Waylon and placed a hand on his shoulder when his breath hiccuped.

“Sometimes, when she was talking to the doctor, I’d see Lisa turn and look at me like- like she was looking at a monster. Even before the lawyers and the police and the feds - she looked at me, and she knew that I had done awful things, that I’d gone somewhere she was- was disgusted by, terrified of. Knew I was unfixable. When they did fill her in on what had happened, what kind of a ‘psychological liability’ I might be, I don’t think she was even surprised.”

The sound of their shoes crunching the damp gravel echoed through the alley.

“That…must have been really hard,” Miles said finally.

“Lisa mentioned…she mentioned that they’d thrown you straight into a psychiatric care facility,” Waylon said, cocking an eyebrow.

Miles snorted and scuffed his boot against the ground. “Yeah. That surprise you?”

“I guess not.”

“I think they were just pissed off at me, is why. Apparently I knocked out like, five state police before they tranquilized me.”

“So they didn’t keep you long?”

Miles stiffened, his hands balling into fists in his pockets. “I uh…yeah, probably.”

“Probably?”

“I don’t really remember, ok?”

Waylon put his hands up automatically at the sharp tone and nodded, sidestepping away slowly. “Sorry.”

Miles sighed. “Sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, I shouldn’t have-“

“Yes, Waylon, being an asshole is my fault.”

Waylon sounded as though he were about to respond, but partway through he went wide-eyed, making a small choking noise in the back of his throat.

“Way? What’s wrong-“

Miles grit his teeth as he realized what he was looking at- someone large and dressed in black standing behind Waylon, holding a thin knife to his neck.

“Don’t move,” the stranger rasped.

Miles put his hands up, trying to will some courage into Waylon through eye contact. He hated himself for not noticing someone sneaking up on them, for not being more suspicious about the dark places that dotted the alley, for taking them through it at all.

He hadn’t expected to feel anything but angry- this was nothing, Miles had escaped threats that had eroded away bits of his soul- but a tendril of fear had crept in with the wheeze of Waylon’s breathing.

“Just take this and get out,” Miles said, throwing his wallet at the mugger’s feet. The man didn’t move.

“What?” Miles snapped, “It’s a bunch of money, okay? Take it and leave!”

Waylon swayed and stared at Miles with wide, eerily unfocused eyes. He was whimpering something that Miles couldn’t understand.

“What else?” the man growled, jerking Waylon’s arm for emphasis. Miles thought he could hear him hiss out a jumble of prayers.

“For fucks sake, I gave you all the money we had, okay? Put the knife away and get the fuck out of here!”

The man kicked at Waylon’s metal leg, forcing him to crumple downward and jamming the knife hard against his neck. Blood beaded along his skin underneath the blade, reducing Waylon’s shouting to a panicked gurgle.

Everything flashed in pulses of buzzing white and Miles felt the same sensation from his nightmares- something huge and airy slamming into his body, like he was drifting and breaking apart and tearing through the fabric of reality itself.

He could sense the dull reality of the mugger’s neck clenched in his hands, but the image was like a kaleidoscope, spinning through more information than he could make sense of. He saw Waylon, scrambling backward, heard the wet hissing coming from the body in his grip. He imagined the spine underneath that flimsy meat disintegrating in his hands, hot chunks of him coming apart-

And then Waylon screamed, and reality snapped sideways like a tense rubber band.

—

Waylon wanted to remember the exact point everything had changed so violently, but his head spun with fear. He traced the shallow line sliced into his neck with hands that shook so badly he nearly knocked his glasses off. The world had gone from a hot, suffocating panic that preceded his imminent death and then-

Then what happened?

Miles happened. Miles had lunged forward, making a sound Waylon couldn’t identifu. There was no way what he’d hear qualified as yelling, much less as human. It was more of a deafening, buzzing roar, like a swarm of hornets had descended onto the mugger from above.

“Miles, where are you,” Waylon gasped, hand pressed to his sternum as though he could physically still the sickening speed his heart was beating with.

He thought it had stopped when he saw Miles. Or, the thing that now occupied the space where Miles had been a moment ago. It was like squinting through a cloud of ash, swirling constantly in place. Its’ incorporeal arms were outstretched, farther than arms should reach, locked tight around the mugger’s neck while the man’s face turned a bright purple.

They floated there, like a mobile rip in reality, and all at once memory slammed into Waylon.

He couldn’t breathe, doubled over and clawing at his chest like he force air in. It felt like ages before he could take in a painful gasp and when he finally did he screamed until he started to choke.

The cold marble was under his hands again, Jeremy Blaire’s warm breath against his cheek, the spark of burning pain as the knife sank into his stomach. Waylon doubled over in the alleyway and vomited, staring at the inhuman thing wringing the life in a stream of blood from that stranger’s nose. His mind reeled backward, drowning in memories of fear, pain, and something very much like black ash, a cloud of humming insects that sent a rain of hot gore showering down on Waylon.

“Stop!” Waylon shrieked, “stop it, stop it!”

He cradled his head in his hands, lungs aching with the screams he couldn’t seem to quell, yelling, “Stop it, stop it, stop it-“

The sound of a body hitting the ground forced Waylon back into his present.

He was actually relieved to see the man who’d attacked him alive and sobbing as he crawled and stumbled out of the alley. The thing was standing there- hovering there?- the holes of its’ eyes fixed on Waylon.

He would have vomited again, felt the gorge singeing at his throat. Instead he stared back, trying to dig through the layers of living static and find Miles. He couldn’t run like he’d wanted to, couldn’t leave without him.

“M-Miles?”

The cloud shivered and shrank at the sound of his voice. Waylon stepped forward.

“Miles? Is-is that you?”

The thing moved towards him, shedding its’ impossible layers until Waylon could see Miles underneath. He was hazy and indistinct, like Waylon saw him through a broken camera lens; his eyes glittered a uniform black and being near him made Waylon’s teeth itch. Miles didn’t do anything- he just stood there, unsteady, as bit by bit the buzzing horror sloughed off of him.

Waylon reached out only to snatch his hand back, repeating that cycle four times. He couldn’t bring himself to touch this new variation of Miles.

He tried again, closing his eyes and focusing on the mounting panic that someone would find them there and lock them up like monsters to override the unwillingness to come closer. It worked.

He was near giddy with relief when he made contact with Miles’ solid wrist.

“We’ve got to go,” Waylon squeaked, tugging at him.

Miles followed, moving more steadily and quickly than expected. Waylon’s skin crawled where they touched and he broke into a run, stumbling on his bad leg. He just wanted to get to the apartment.

—

By the time Waylon shoved Miles into his apartment, he was almost normal again, save for the blackened stains along his hands and his impossibly blown pupils.

He didn’t say anything. He just stood with his arms limp, staring at Waylon like he he was waiting for directions.

As soon as the door had slammed behind him, Waylon made sure there was at least one large piece of furniture between him and Miles at all times. He clung to Miles’ couch, trying to avoid eye contact.

“Miles, what the fuck is happening?” His voice cracked as relief and lingering horror washed over him in confusing tandem.

Miles turned and blinked.

“Say something, do something! Stop this!”

Miles lifted an arm- heavily, as though he were moving underwater- and reached towards Waylon. His mouth worked noiselessly, expression lifting from slack indifference to concern. Waylon stumbled backwards.

He watched as Miles’ legs gave out under him, dropping him into a boneless heap by the coffee table.

—

The sound of the ticking clock in the kitchen filled the small apartment.

Waylon thought he should pick himself up and maybe put the television on for background noise, but he couldn’t will himself out of the corned he’d huddled into.

Not that background noise would really be any help. He needed an exorcist, a priest, a S.W.A.T. Team- he needed those Murkoff documents they had taken from him. The situation was familiar to him in a way he’d prayed to never have to remember again.

The Morphogenic engine.

He closed his eyes to remember the way the machine had hummed behind the glass. He’d practically memorized portions of the code- and of course, he’d learned pretty quickly what it did, though he hadn’t been too sure on what it was trying to create. He’d heard rumors from just about everyone with a clearance high enough to mop the engine room floor, but given the fragile state of most of their “patients”, he hadn’t given those whispered horror stories much credence.

It wasn’t until the instant that Jeremy Blaire’s blood pattered to his face like a warm rain that he really believed in the Walrider.

Waylon’s cadre of therapists had gone to great lengths to assure him that what he’d seen had been an elaborate hallucination. An understandable hallucination, of course, given the depths of his trauma. Even if he’d never accepted that it had been a hallucination, he had managed to push the incident into a dark area of fear and acceptance that he tried to not to touch. There were more pressing things to wake up screaming about, right? Like Eddie Gluskin’s unnaturally cool hands against his naked skin.

All that work ignoring the possibility of the Walrider, undone the moment he’d seen a deranged criminal dangling and choking from that same malevolent force.

Miles chest rose and fell steadily, blood spotting the floor around his face like an incomplete halo from his mouth and nose. Waylon figured he ought to pick him up and put him in bed, but he froze whenever he got within a single step of him. He was held hostage by the image of Miles waking up, dissolving and swirling into something incorporeal that would screech and tear Waylon’s throat out.

The blood was starting to concern him, though. Waylon took a deep breath and hauled Miles up by the back of his shirt. It was a mixed blessing and concern that Miles didn’t so much as stir. How long had Waylon just been sitting there, staring? It must have been a while; the blood trickling from Miles had become…considerable.

Almost fifteen minutes and twice that many broken bottles later, Waylon rolled Miles’ limp body onto the bed. He tucked the blankets around him like he might spontaneously catch fire at any point.

He couldn’t feel his fingers or toes through the buzz of adrenaline. Miles’ flinty black eyes peered out from the backs of Waylon’s eyelids whenever he pressed his fingers to his temples, lost and frightened and alien.

“Is this permanent?” he asked quietly. “Are you coming back?”

Waylon went to the sink to wet a rag with warm water.

“It’s just Miles,” he said under his breath, perching on Miles’ nightstand. “This is just Miles, and he’s not going to hurt you.”

Probably.

He cursed under his breath, rolled up the rag and pressed it to Miles’ forehead with shaking hands. Heat radiated from Miles like an overworked computer tower.

“He didn’t hurt you, right? He could have hurt you and he didn’t.”

Waylon dabbed at the scrape on Miles’ bruised cheek.

“He’s not going to hurt you.”

The thought didn’t stop Waylon from flinching every time Miles exhaled.

[anthony-kate]

***Can you believe we have to go through a 3 month hiatus until we get new episodes again? What to do on Mondays from now on? Well, I know it is not the same but how about reading some amazing Malec fics? Because there simply can’t be enough Malec love out there and somehow it makes the wait to see these two back on our screens a bit more bearable if you ask me.

Anyway, I hope you gonna enjoy this 4th edition as much as the previous ones. Again, a huge thank you to everyone who left notes and/or told me how much they enjoyed these recs. It’s very much appreciated, so yes, if you want me to continue doing this, let me know, okay? Have fun reading!***

Volume 1

Volume 2

Volume 3

KISS WITH A FIST by @clockworkswans [ M | AU | 225k | WIP | Kiss With A Fist universe #1 ]

When agent Alec Lightwood is given his first kill hit, he doesn’t expect much trouble. Of course, he also doesn’t expect it to be a cheerful assassin who lands him in a whole load of trouble. Enter Magnus Bane: an assassin turned thief who reluctantly teams up with Alec - and The Clave - after he pisses off a very important and powerful crime boss, Valentine Morgenstern. In a world of violence and unjust laws, can the two put aside their differences and work together? Aka: in which Alec is sent to kill Magnus, doesn’t, and then really wishes he had. (but not really).

WILD LIFE by @crazyellephantrambles [ not rated | AU | 69k | complete ]

Alec Lightwood likes to go on road trips. He doesn't pick up hitchhikers. But the one time he does, it's Magnus. He's in for an adventure or maybe even fall in love.

ANYTHING by @baneismyexistence [ M | 36.2k | complete | Anything verse #1 ]

Magnus would do anything for Alec, and Alec doesn't know what to do with that.

EVERYTHING by @baneismyexistence [ M | 70k | complete | Anything verse #2 ]

With Valentine still at large, a crisis threatens to split the Shadow World in two, testing the loyalties of everyone on both sides of the line. But choosing between duty and honor, family and love is never easy, especially when war is on the horizon.

AND YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN MINE TOO by @magicandarchery [ E | AU | 10.4k | WIP ]

New graduates and best friends Magnus and Alec have both graduated from the University of Idris with top honors. Graduation and family expectations, however, carved out two very different paths for their lives.

Making the age-old promise on graduation night to get married if they were still single by thirty had been an easy agreement to make. There was no chance it would, or even could, ever possibly happen. It simply wasn't legal.

When Magnus coincidentally re-enters Alec's life eight years later, each are confronted with the unsettled reality of their lives, and the rekindling of long-buried feelings for the other. They decide to reinstate the promise they had made as motivation to get back into the dating scene.

But can they push aside their own feelings for each other as they go on this journey of finding true love?

Or: the "Single by 30" Malec AU that nobody asked for.

STAR WARS: A SEARCH FOR JUSTICE by @sweetillusionketz [ M | AU | 9.8k | WIP ]

After the MORTAL WAR that wiped out the JEDI ORDER and the reconstruction of THE CLAVE to govern the galaxy, military force, THE CIRCLE, has been monitoring planets for any trace of remaining intergalactic terrorism and obliterating possible threats under the name of peace. Each strike leaves death and destruction behind.

Former Senator, General Luke Garroway, leads the DOWNWORLDER RESISTANCE, a counterpoint to the Circle, in hope of finding enough evidence of abuse of power to dismantle the organisation and restore real peace and justice to the galaxy.

In order to do so, Luke has sent Izzy Lightwood, his most daring pilot, and the mysterious Magnus Bane to search for survivors of the last attack…

FANTASY by @theonetruenorth [ E | PWP | 3.5k | complete | Shadowhunters Headcanons #20 ]

“Mhmm,” Magnus hummed as they broke apart and he rocked his hips minutely, the slight movement enough to make them both shiver. “This is getting dangerously close to one of my fantasies, so maybe we should stop, if you don’t want this to go any further.”

“What fantasy?” Alec murmured, craning his neck up again to brush his lips against Magnus’ but the warlock teasingly moved just out of reach.

“Well,” Magnus started, looking at Alec through half-closed eyes and with a hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, “I have never had sex inside the Institute.”

BLUE EXTRAVAGANCE by Hobbit69 [ E | AU | 27.8k | complete | Blue Steel Series #5 ]

When Detective Alexander Lightwood-Bane is called to the site of a bizarre murder, he doesn't expect to recognize the victim, but that's exactly what happens. Alec met the wealthy entrepreneur at an event with his husband, the flamboyant and enormously wealthy Magnus Lightwood-Bane. When a second victim is found, Alec and his partner, Jace Herondale, realize that their killer has a "type." Unfortunately, Magnus just so happens to fit that type.

IT’S TIME TO LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY, BROTHER DEAREST by @themagnusbane [ E | AU | 83.4k | complete ]

Magnus Bane is a famous stripper, used to pretty boys falling in love with him after one dance. The feeling is hardly ever mutual. But when he meets the freshly turned twenty-one year old Alec lightwood, he can’t take his eyes off him, and they find themselves in love quicker than they expected.

WE CAN SOLVE THIS TOGETHER by @softshumjr [ E | AU | 58.9k | WIP ]

Alec and Magnus have been friends since high school. They both love each other but are afraid to say anything because they believe the other one doesn't feel the same way and it'll ruin their friendship.

Alec and Jace are working on an overdose case and are stuck. Can Magnus be the one to help them solve the case?

UNKISS ME by @sweetillusionketz [ G | AU | 11.3k | complete ]

Magnus Bane loved New York. I mean, what other city in the world held Christmas raves?

He especially loved it when he managed to convince Ragnor and Catarina to join him. Spending time with your chosen family during the holidays was the best thing in the world.

The only thing that could make it even better, however, would be getting to know that very attractive stranger that just wouldn't take his eyes off Magnus. Tall, dark and handsome was just what Magnus wanted to end his amazing night.

All he needed was an opportunity and it came, in the form of a well-placed mistletoe.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, DOCTOR LIGHTWOOD by @softdaddario [ T | AU | 3.1k | complete ]

Magnus Bane agreed to volunteer at a children's hospital on Christmas Eve, wanting to help make sure the kids got the most wonderful evening. Turned out the kids weren't the only one who were gonna have a merry Christmas, Magnus realised when he met the young Doctor Lightwood during his time at the hospital.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, ALEXANDER by @slaymemakoto [ E | PWP | 1.8k | complete ]

A one shot in which Alec gets the living daylights fucked out of him and Magnus is sure that everyone in the building is aware of exactly what Christmas Eve activities the pair are indulging in.

JUST WHAT I NEED by @alyxhavok [ T | 3.6k | complete ]

Magnus has a surprise for Alec, and the rest of his family...

YOU PROTECTED ME by @everydayisonfire [ E | PWP | 3k | complete ]

Post Winter-finale. Inspired by this:

"anyways magnus totally had alec’s omamori with him that’s how he managed to be safe"

IT’S CLOSE TO MIDNIGHT, AND SOMETHING EVIL’S LURKING IN THE DARK by @lightwoodlesbians [ G | AU | 1.8k | complete ]

or, the ’i sneaked into this huge house party for some free alcohol but you asked me how i knew the host and the first excuse i could think of was that i'm dating their sibling, so i basically just lied to you about going out with you’ au

LET’S PLAY by @laurenkmyers [ E | 2.5k | complete ]

Malec's first date gets sexy. Expect semi-public pool table sex.

IF YOU CAN’T FIND THE ONE BEING HUSTLED IN THE POOL HALL... by @quitemagicalbane [ G | 328 | complete ]

"Make the shot then." "Okay." "Okay." "Okay." "Okay, so make it."

THUNDER’S GETTING LOUDER by @spanglepup [ E | 6.4k | complete | The Boundless Saga #3 ]

For once in his life, Alec decides to take something for himself. He forgets that everything comes with a cost.

THE IMPORTANCE OF PANCAKES by @lecrit [ T | 2.2k | complete ]

Based on the prompt: “I would like a cute Alec and Magnus day in where they cuddle and talk a bit about the future and a second scene where it’s the future and they have their two sons”

WAKE ME GENTLY by @ithilien-writes [ E | 1.7k | complete ]

Magnus rarely (if ever) wakes before Alec, but this time he has... intentions.

FIRST TIME ALEC TOPS by @theonetruenorth [ E | 1.9k | complete | Shadowhunters Headcanons #9 ]

Somehow, they end up with Alec flat on his back and Magnus straddling him, his hands cradling Alec’s jaw while his tongue explores the nephilim’s mouth. It’s a slow, lazy, and unhurried kiss. The kind of kiss that says ‘there isn’t anywhere else I would rather be right now’ and ‘I want to explore every inch of your body’ and ‘I love you’.

CHAIN YOU UP by WholockedHunter [ E | 3.6k | complete ]

Magnus and Alec are having some kinky sex ...

CAN’T TAKE MY EYES OFF OF YOU by @deepbutdazzlingdarkness [ E | PWP | 2.1k | complete | The Thirst Is Real #3 ]

If Magnus were more alert, he probably would’ve recognized the obvious signs of someone being in the loft: the boots by the front door, the leather jacket laying on the couch, the empty wine glass sitting on his drink cart, but as it is, he doesn’t notice anything off until he’s standing right in front of his bedroom door and realizes the light is on.

I NEED YOU SO MUCH CLOSER by @deepbutdazzlingdarkness [ E | 5.2k | complete | The Thirst Is Real #4 ]

Work has been keeping Alec and Magnus apart for a couple of weeks and once they finally see each other again, Alec can barely control himself.

AKA the first time they have sex at the Institute. Also the first time they say "I love you".

DANCE IN THE DARK by @deepbutdazzlingdarkness [ E | 2.7k | complete | The Thirst Is Real #5 ]

After a particularly hard day at work, Magnus helps Alec relieve some tension.

NO PLACE FOR A HERO by @one100suns [ M | 20.4k | complete | Battle Scars #3 ]

For Magnus and Alec, navigating their relationship is hard enough without outside forces trying to tear them a part. Quite literally in some cases.

PRESSED UP AGAINST YOU, EVERYTHING IS OKAY by @matsdaddario [ E | 3.6k | complete | Lovely Firsts #2 ]

It’s new, this feeling like even though everything is falling apart that this part of his world makes sense. He likes it, wants to keep it.

“Hi,” he breathes. Magnus stands in front of him, and Alec can’t help himself, doesn’t want to stop himself, from leaning down that little bit to capture Magnus’s mouth with his own.

I SEE FIRE by @lecrit [ M | AU | 12.1k | complete ]

There was one simple and unique rule about being friends with Magnus and Alec: never, ever, no matter the circumstances, not even if you were drunk as an armada of skunks, engage into a debate about pop culture with either of them, and especially not the both of them.

TRUST ME by @sweetillusionketz [ T | AU | 18.5k | complete ]

Magnus Bane has a problem with that arrogant brat that keeps showing his face to every important street race in the city. Damn Jace Lightwood and his annoying habit of winning even though he's just a stupid high school boy. That's insulting.

Fuck Jace. But more importantly, fuck his sweet looking older brother, who just happen to not have the slightest idea of who Magnus is. If everything goes according to plan, Magnus will have put Jace back to his insignificant place and gotten lucky with a gorgeous oblivious guy.

Perfect plan is perfect. Nothing could go wrong.