#yes i know there is NG+ no i am not finishing my run until the dlc bc i need my first ending to be the miquella/(MALENIA??!!) one >:3 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shmowder · 4 months

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SO I was about to say that we never spoke on your BG3 blog, but I actually found one question by me, asking if you were playing the original Pathologic or P2 😂 By the time I found that blog you'd already pretty much moved on to this one (which is fine!). But I rb'd a couple fics to my sideblog. Certainly never imagined myself reading about a giant half-spider woman but here we are ♡ The thing about Minthara is that I adore her but I don't know anything about the rest of the game and it's too expensive for me to commit to right now - and I'm always hearing about her romance being bugged anyway.

Yuria <333 And Sister Friede but more importantly, Yuria! I love that you love her too! I confess that I never got past the Abyss Watchers but tbh I'm amazed I got that far. And at least my Ashen One got to meet Yuria (and heard her best line "And I, of course, am also thine" hehe). Good for you for getting through it! Bloodborne is the one Fromsoft game I've beaten and it was rough getting used to the Dark Souls combat, so I watched a walkthrough of the rest. And I've also watched a ~90 hour walkthrough of Elden Ring, which did put me to sleep occasionally lmao but I just don't have the willpower to play huge open world games anymore.

I almost finished a NG+ playthrough of Bloodborne recently, until I started the DLC and promptly got my ass handed to me and I was like hmmmm actually now is the perfect time to start a new SDV farm 🤔

But, I'm taking a little break because I've indeed started Patho 2 again!! It's the beginning of day 5, I'm using super easy settings again and I found my old notes of where the Dead Item Shop is every day and which items to save for upgrades etc. Despite that, I seem to be missing more than ever. I may have focused a little too much on trading and collecting herbs and caches. Forgot the bell rang on Day 3 and didn't gather the Apple Basket Gang rip :( (I noticed that Lara and Artemy both have dialogue about not being 30 yet, so there's that question out of the way) But on the bright side I have more eggs than I could ever need (maybe…) and I'm on my 3rd inventory upgrade.

Haha, based on that anecdote I'd say you know more Russian than I do. I know a lot of people listen to other things when playing games but I've never tried that except when hatching Pokemon eggs. I love hearing the in-game sounds and music. Victor and Yulia have the same theme playing in their houses!

Yes of course we can be friends! Requesting from writing blogs is what originally got me interacting with others, so, kind of like you, just the other way around 😅 Then I discovered it can be nice just to talk sometimes. It seems like you're having a good time on this blog! Chill is good. Part of me is still flabbergasted that there's a Pathologic x reader blog that exists and it's run by a great writer who obviously has so much love for the characters which is a huge plus <3 But I like the memes too :) I can't speak for other anons, but I always check my entire dash until I'm completely caught up.

Moving on… WHEN I TRANSLATED THE TITLE OF THE VICTOR X READER FIC!! Hooo boy, I'm a simple girl and the "You're good, my little dove, you're good. Despite it all, you're good" quote is one of my favorites. It's like you read my mind with the description - SOFT, TENDER, and UNSTABLE? Three of my favorite things 😇

So!! I am the human embodiment of this emoji while reading 🤭🤭🤭 Honestly so galaxy brained of you make it into a fic, I could never be upset about that. There's such an atmosphere to this from the very beginning, I don't know how to describe it but I want to bite it. Playing house with slightly off vibes, "Like handling a stray cat" OUGH. (I agree that'd he'd want to play at domesticity.) The way he notices everything, his solicitousness. Reader as sacrificial lamb imagery. "He takes and takes like you're the cure for his morose soul."

The immortality vs mortality thing! That's when I really got why this works so well as a fic instead of hcs. I love that it feels like a character study as much as a smut fic (and ofc I appreciate all the little details about time). TOP TIER SMUT ALSO. His endless patience while also being in emotional/spiritual/physical agony, him praising the reader's patience, he does seem like the type to draw it out a while - "He'll hide you from the world and everything dangerous outside" 😳

And the end!! What a beautiful, brilliant mind, what a sensitive fragile heart, what a lovely soul. My goodness. Just - [keysmash] [disintegrates]

That was AMAZING and you should be proud. Thank you for taking my request and running with it <333

If my overzealous reaction to the froggy chair birthday pic never made it through, thank you for that too! It's delightful.

Happy birthday!! 🧁🎉 I hope you enjoy the day.

🐿️ anon

You remembered my birthday! I love you!

God I was refreshing my notes waiting for your reaction over the fic. I'm so happy you liked it <33 Especially how you qouted your favourite lines and your reaction to them, that's literally the highest of praise I could receive. You understand the underlying themes, the whole playing house but something seems off, Victor's inner fits of monologue occasionally completely going off-rails and showing how lost in his head he tends to get. How his brain switches focus between topics constantly before snapping back to reality and vice versa.

Conflicted in everything. At times, he appears as if he's pleading with you, below you as loyal as a guard dog. At others he appears above you, pulling your strings with sheer authority and nothing else.

The whole turmoil of deciding to let Reader die a natural death, to be selfish and never allow them into the Kains grand scheme of immortality, to know you'll only exist by his side before your soul is lost to the cosmos forever.

I avoided bringing Nina by name but her presence is heavy in each line of the story. How much he would let you hurt him and others as much as you want like she used to do, how he lets your sins slide and sweeps your wrongs under the rug. How he clings to your mortality because part of his resents humanity for taking his wife away, for stealing his own life and future away.

The whole wings and feather symbolism. Immortality is the wings the Kains are sewing together one thread at a time, each feather plucked being a brilliant person's soul. That eventually, maybe they too will ascend past the larva stage and be able to live freely with no fear of death much like Icarus flew above the seas without regards to his father's words. They're flying straight into the sun and they mistake its blazing fire for the heavens above.

His little dove petname fitting perfectly with the Icarus symbolism, with you being a beautiful bird he wants to keep caged in the mortal real out of selfishness, out of the desire to finally call someone his own. All his life he has give for the future of humanity, both his wife and two kids turned into chess pieces to be sacrificed in times of need.

And that's fine that's okay. He can handle it. His family may belong to the future, they may belong to mankind and the utopia they're slowly shaping. He is strong and pragmatic, he can more than understand why heavy costs and live with the consequences. He will carry that burden of guilt indefinitely.

But you, oh you.... He won't allow it. You have to slip away from their clutches, from his own sharp claws. You won't belong to the future, you will belong to the present forever with him, forever to him.

I enjoyed writing it so much. I started as Headcanons but the words piled up and the sentences started weaving themselves on their own. It was so beautiful, I didn't have the heart to trim the growth and force it back into the headcanons mould, so i let it blossom into a full story even if it meant more work.

Headcanons are usually effortless, stories are not. I had several open tabs by the end of writing it searching for various idoms, symbolism and word synonyms. Looking through Victor's qoute then remembering the latin endearment term for dove.

I really wanted to paint the picture of how he makes loving you a form of self-flagellation, but I had to keep the message subtle so it shows how well he hides it. How on the surface you can easily mistake his infatuation for any adoring partner, but deep down he's completely unstable behind the calculated hardened face. I'd argue that he was as crazy as Nina if not even more. He just happened to be better at hiding it. It was an elaborate plan for him to play the role of the reliable soft-hearted self-sacrificing leader to win people's favour, to paint the Kains in an angelic light so their women may be as cruel as their hearts desire.

Again, thank you for leaving such a sweet message afterwards. People rarely do, you get accustomed to fulfilling requests then throwing your writing into the ocean after posting it. The reblogs and likes are good and all but I just want to hear another human's words at times you know? Another soul's opinion, something that proves that this exists and was read by an actual person rather than a number counter going up.

Although oh my god you read THAT Minthara fic?? A beautiful webbing?? IT'S ONE OF MY MOST PROUD WORKS! One of my most ambitious too! The descriptive scenery in that fic took a lifetime out of me, so much blood and tears poured onto the layout of the garden, of the sussur tree and blood rose. Writing it felt like my magnum opus at the time, although now I'd say Lingum Vitea holds the spot for the amount of Latin I had to research for that Burakhovsky fic.

I'm so glad you liked that fic! They're my favourite children <333 I like the rest too but sometimes I write things purely out of passion and they shine brighter than the rest in my eyes.

You've already started your P2 playthrough hell yeah! I hope it goes well and it's fun! I actually missed the apple basket gang meeting too in my playthrough- I thought it was scripted to be missed because it directly coincident with the Bachelor calling people to town hall and proclaiming quarantine so I thought oh, it must be cancelled duh! I didn't realise you could still walk to it ah-

You can never have too much eggs, trust me.

Being a trader hoarder is good! you'll eventually learn which people overpay for which items and look out for them. Usually trading is rng depent on which npc you meet on the road to your current mission because straying from the path means losing precious time.

Good for beating bloodborne and going on ng+! Hell yeah! I've never played it but it seems hard bc of the parries and no shield. I miss my shield in ds3 :( During the end of the game, my brother was watching me play and he tricked me into going to the end boss unprepared. He claimed it was just another npc for a quest and I didn't know it was the end boss bc I didn't watch anything about dark souls before playing it- I just walked to the soul of cinder all like "omfg hiii bestiee :3 " then got stabbed.

BUT I FUCKING BEAT HIM IN ONE TRY! EVEN WHEN I WAS TRICKED AND ALMOST DIED. I managed to clutch with my trustyyyy shieellldd.

But also I died to that weird balls tree 90+

I am not exaggerating, I genuinely couldn't handle that lame mini boss tree. I killee the abyss watchers in two tries and the soul of cinder in one but a fucking tree is responsible for 70% of my deaths through all of the game.

I'm celebrating my birthday today. it's not going well but at least I have a lot of cake and will buy myself flowers in an hour after the shops open. I got cheesecake! I love cheesecake! I think Yulia would like cheesecake or is she more of a dark chocolate person? I still have your request for her nsfw hc so don't worry it wasn't swallowed by tumblr.

Honestly I can't believe I'm the only pathologic x reader blog- Seems almost blasphemous tbh. I hope more pop up in the future, this fandom is surprisingly chill and nice. Especially for such a hardcore game.

I hope your day is amazing <3

Oh and I did receive your froggy chair submission! I just wasn't sure whether to reply to it publicly or not in case you wanted to stay anonymous to others on this blog. I'm glad you liked the meme I threw together and my other memes on this blog hehe. I like making them, it's like visual storytelling.

#♧other #♧🐿 anon

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semi-imaginary-place · 11 months

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I Beat Verdant Wind New Game Maddening but Claude was Level 1 Until Part 2

I play a lot of maddening but I like collecting skill levels and what not so I've primarily been playing on one continuous file that's like 900+ hours long, so I finally decided to do maddening ng and collect the golden title screen but just doing ng seemed boring so additionally I decided to never use Claude during part 1 aka a Lord-less White Clouds run. I did have dlc because i hadn't seem the Abyss VW dialogue yet. I started this back in like 2022 and then put off finishing it because of the part 2 doldrums so it took me until june 2023 to finish this run.

So all the way until Hunting by Daybreak Claude was level 1, from the first chapter all the way until then Claude never faced an enemy or gained exp, and then during that map he gained like 20 levels and i forgot to screenshot it. The screenshot above is Claude at level 45 right before the final map, I threw all the stat items (minus mag) onto him before the final fight, and he got pretty close to some of his stat caps, 2 off max str and he could have gotten max hp but my last item was a +5 so instead of wasting 4hp hilda got that item instead.

I haven't done a more optimized run in quite a while (usually i'm running joke builds like brawl Marianne) so this was quite fun. Let me know if you want to know the builds or have any questions. I might edit this and ramble some more later.

edit1: NG Maddening wasn't that bad for me. I usually play on NG+ but that's just for collecting skill levels I never use the gameplay benefits of NG+ anyways so minus some grinding NG was the same difficulty that I usually play at. The biggest difference this round was resisting the urge to make another wacky terrible build and instead do things more optimally for once. Which is partly why I challenged myself to not use Claude in part 1. Early game was very hard as the game is designed for the player to rely on Byleth and the lord as power units. In early game most of the Golden Deer were just starting their builds and not very useful, and not only was I down a lord unit but I had 1 less deployment slot to work with. Part 2 was pretty easy as all the characters settled into their builds in advanced and master classes and I got a stronger Claude back so to keep things interesting I didn't actually use any of the stat boosting items until the final battle. I played with the idea of 1-turning the final boss but couldn't get the movement to work out, so I 4-turned the final map. I am S support grinding so maybe I can still shave time and turns off the final map. S support grinding was another reason I used this strategy in this run. So I did this all for 3 reason: maddening is boring otherwise, faster final map for S support grind, and lastly I did it for Claude.

edit2: Builds

Claude: bows tutoring focus, wyvern master. I mostly used Claude as a player phase unit but he had an enemy phase alt build that I used on the last map. I also picked up +1 movement for some more versatility. Also crit KING, I'd put a killer bow+ on him and have like 90 crit. Because of the White Clouds challenge Claude didn't start his build until part 2 where I picked up death blow. Was considering wyvern lord but wasn't worth it.

Byleth and Hilda: darting blow + death blow wyvern lords. Hilda also picked up alert stance+ and is one of 2 enemy phase dodgetanks. These were my 2 axe users this run, by the end they would sometimes 4x hit with a brave axe.

Seteth, Ferdinand, Sylvain: swiftstrikes wyvern lords (yes I had like 6 wyverns). Ferdinand was the other dodgetank besides Hilda and I gave him the Spear of Assal/Ochian shield to augment his personal. Seteth and Sylvain eventually picked up alert stance as well but I only used that on a couple maps. Ferdinand spent early game as an axe user because axes have higher might. Sylvain gets his relic easy so spent most of the game as a mixed lance/axe user. It's only once they got to rank A lances that I changed their builds to be lance focused. The builds of these 3 were pretty fluid depending on what I needed for the map like if there were a lot of sword enemies I'd use a swordbreaker lance build, if I needed enemy phase units they could all reasonably dodgetank, if there were a lot of lance enemies I'd use a lancebreaker axe build.

Leonie: bow crit machine. Leonie was very good. I swapped between sniper and bow knight depending on how much range/hit and run I wanted. I tend to use a lot of decentralized (no dancer or healer) hit and run guerilla tactics in my maddening runs. In some maps sniper was better like the final map.

Yuri went a similar route to Ignatz. He was my pick for this run's sword user and a dancer candidate. And like Ignatz I eventually gave up on swords because sniper is too good.

sooo yeah without my usual joke builds I ended up with a team of wyverns and snipers -_- maddening has such great balance huh /s. Above was my main team and then I'd usually have a few of the following characters to fill in the remaining deployment slots or replace someone if they needed exp.

Felix: brawling war master. What's more to say, high atk high speed high damage high survivability, crits like half the time. death blow + fistfaire + brawl crit

Ignatz picked up poisonstrike and spent a while in assassin. I considered keeping him assassin but sniper was just too good. He also made a good bow knight sapper/saboteur between poisonstrike, break arrow, or he'd just crit and kill them anyways.

Marianne: magic sword with high avoid, duelist blow, fiendish blow, sword avo. Marianne was the dancer and sword user of this run. She went down mage/bishop and her final class was mortal savant but she spend a lot of time in gremory for growths and trickster for duelist's blow. This is the most useful I've ever seen Marianne. I don't really use healers/mages, most mages can't double in maddening so don't have the raw damage, don't have the move to keep up with my guerilla tactics, and are too squishy. I didn't use Marrianne as dancer very often because I don't use dancers much, why field a dancer when I can have another wyvern, and I didn't want to tank her mag too much. I hadn't used Marianne in a long time and she wasn't MVP like Ferdinand or Hilda or Claude but she could hold her own on the front line and this is the most damage I've ever seen out of her. She was my only sword user by the end so Marianne got to have all the nice swords I'd collected all to herself.

Lorenz: frozen lance. I'd never done a frozen lance build so I decided to try it. Lorenz ended up good in the midgame but his early and late game were meh. He went up the mage line for mag+2 and fiendish blow. Early game suffered because he was a mage with a stick. Once he got into paladin and lancefaire Lorenz was doing very good, high enough damage to OHKO most enemies and canto made for a useful Lorenz. But staying in paladin made his mag growth inconsistent so his damage started to lag in late game, so he spend increasing time in dark knight which traded the power of lancefaire for the versatility of magic. With Thrysus Lorenz is probably the tankiest mage in the game.

Lysithea, Hapi, Constance: the mages. The standard mage build: monk, mage, bishop, gremory. Had them also take a detour to valkyrie for uncanny blow to fix their accuracy issues. mag+2 + fiendish blow + faire + range+1. Hapi didn't spend a lot of time attacking, she was probably the most healer-like unit of the game. Lysithea and Hapi also got dark knight for the faire.

Raphael and Balthus: brawl/axe war masters. I didn't use them quite as much since they get doubled on enemy phase sometimes. I had them using both weapon types for a lot of the game since sometimes a single strong axe hit was better for the situation. I mostly compensated for accuracy with batallions/rings instead of bothering to go archer.

Flayn, Anna, and Hanneman were there too. Flayn was healer when the other mages got over-leveled. I was building up Anna as a sniper but I always had too many units. Alois was built like Raph but kind of got dropped because I had more than enough better units.

edit3: don't know when I'll start another playthrough but I was considering a maddening AM no healing (no hp goes up ever) and no Byleth run, or maybe I'll get my final S supports on SS.

When Claude autoclasses into Wyvern Master he gets a massive stat boost so even if his numeric level is low his stats are on par with a much higher level character (this is also why he is more spd but less dex than a normal Claude since his unique classes have more speed growth while the archer line has more dex growth). My Byleth was on a wyvern so they could have soloed the map I had Byleth frontline, dodgetank, and soften enemies for Claude to finish. Because he's so low level Claude leveled up with every kill and got like half a level just for attacking so he gained levels fast on that map. Between Ashes and Dust and cleaning up after Byleth's leftovers I was quickly able to get Claude to like level 10 or something at which point he was one rounding enemies with Failnaught. I leveled bows flying and riding on him so with alert stance his survivability on that map was also very high. Lastly I invested in all the Golden Deer so they could all take care of themselves and didn't need to be saved.

All promotions are reclasses, Three Houses is very sandbox like you can put any character into just about any class. In maddening there's a sharp exp curve but the enemies are also higher leveled and I had dlc auxiliary battles which had higher level enemies. That said I took a break in the middle of this palythrough so I don't actually remember what level everyone was at the start of part 2. I might be remembering wrong and maybe Byleth was a wyvern rider.

#fe3h #fire emblem three houses

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godkilller · 4 years

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@izzabizz139

I wanna hear you rant about the Gin vs Hitsugaya anime fight bc I love seeing your pov and you clearly write better than whoever extended that scene :) pretty please

out of character. DON’T ENABLE ME SO MUCH !! No but I cackled when I first saw this ask because oh my god, clearly you saw a taste of my annoyance about the anime adaptation -- no, adaptation implies it was accurate, I’ll say the anime’s take was “inspired by” the manga’s quick run-in. I’ll start by saying this moment is supposed to be a bit important considering, via the audience’s point of view, THIS IS THE FIRST WE SEE OF TWO CAPTAIN-RANKED SHINIGAMI CLASHING. The only other captain-involved fight we’ve seen thus far in the manga is Kenpachi ( who is an outlier and should not be counted... no, I joke... but, still, Ichigo was not an equal to him, his sword was sliced through like butter. ) The whole reason I enjoyed this encounter between Toshiro and Gin was simply this; it wasn’t some fancy multi-chaptered fight. IN THE MANGA, THERE ARE ONLY TWO BLOWS MADE. One, by Toshiro, to begin the fight. The second, to end it, is Gin’s strike.

I want you to know that I’ve rewatched this specifically to answer this ask, and only due to this, as I wouldn’t have ever sought it out otherwise. HONOR MY SACRIFICE.

Read more for length. I’m merciful.

In the anime, they monologue at each other, and it’s mostly a combination of Toshiro making three separate death threats ( he starts this off by saying “I’ll kill you before Hinamori arrives” and then goes on rewording it each time, and then also repeats the death-threat he gave Gin prior to this conflict about “I’ll kill you if Hinamori bleeds” ) and then also Gin and Izuru talking about how truly powerful and amazing Toshiro is -- no, this isn’t me being bitter or petty, I literally shit you not, Gin has a line that is legit “AS EXPECTED FROM HITSUGAYA TOSHIRO, CAPTAIN OF THE TENTH DIVISION, A CHILD PRODIGY OF TH' SORT THAT ONLY COMES ALONG ONLY ONCE EVERY FEW CENTURIES. HOW VEEEERY DANGEROUS. YOU’RE SERIOUS, AIN’T YA?” like don’t get me wrong, love a good sarcastic little shit comment like that, but the amount of times the anime pumps Toshiro up like he’s their shinest new cash cow ( and he is, at this point, it is not even 50 episodes into the series and they’ve realized everyone likes him and he’s jumped to high ranks in popularity polls... earning him filler spotlights, and eventually his very own non-canon movie ) so everything coming out of Gin’s mouth feels like more bullshit than necessary. Izuru’s already literally monologued, internally, how powerful and amazing Toshiro is anyways. Why this ?

Not to mention that, prior to saying that long-winded shit, Gin’s haori changed length three times ( and once it was longer than his entire body by several feet, and no not in a ‘to show motion’ way ) and most importantly Shinso was drawn, consistently, at katana-length for the duration of their little spat where the following, too, happened: Gin frog-leaps after doing a backflip, Toshiro gives Gin two (2) haircuts, Gin ruins some floorboards and gives Toshiro at least one splinter in his arm, Toshiro whilst wearing socks lands on Shinso’s blunt edge and pushes the sword down with his footsie because that’s how that works, there’s another backflip somewhere in there that Gin doesn’t need to be doing, twirl, twirl, and ballet, Gin’s face elongates until his chin is bigger than his face, Gin spends ten+ seconds purely dodging very close strikes to his face as Toshiro is the only one making breathy growly and ‘tsuuaaah’ sounds, there is a brief moment of no gravity as Toshiro keeps hacking at Gin midair and Gin blocks it over and over again but they still stay in the air but they’re not standing or jumping or using reiatsu they’re just like, momentum-locked I don’t fucking know, Gin frowny faces as he blocks because like somehow this kid who doesn’t even have more reiatsu than him, whose arm strength should not be an issue, is like. making him nervous?? as sword sparks fly. if you know me at all you know I hate when they fuckin’ firework sparkler-ify swords clashing.

Anyways, all of this happens whilst Shinso is the wrong length and Gin’s hair is getting purpler by the second and this entire thing is somehow a big jack-off to Toshiro’s immense strength even though he’s screaming and wailing at Gin like a child and Gin’s just a vessel at this point to Enhance Toshiro, which, fine, okay, but at least be more accurate with it god damn. ANYWAYS,

THEY JOUST. They literally run at each other, swords centered, and run past / to the side of one another. Jousting. “Cause that’s how that works. No slashes, no cutting motion. Just swords centered, because the animators were like “no worries guys I know swordfighting basics that’s a legit pose” yeah it is WHEN STATIONARY. Not rUNNING IT DOWN.

And then Gin’s sleeve is cut, somehow, from the Jousting, because wow Toshiro wow wow wowowowow, and then Toshiro comes back and starts wailing at Gin again and Gin blocks it, again, and it’s all very annoyingly repetitive, and Gin’s frowning and sparks are flying and Gin’s using Shinso, the katana-length wakizashi I guess, with two hands because like I said, the animators knew basics and basics are “katana are used two-handed” like. Okay, you’re not wrong, but I cannot stress this enough: SHINSO IS NOT A KATANA. It’s shorter and meant to be used single-handed!!!! sTop!!! So then Gin rips off the tattered part of his sleeve and throws it at Toshiro, who swipes it away from his face using his Zanpakuto because that’s intelligent and a piece of cloth was definitely threatening enough to use your sword to bat it away ( btw, Hitsugaya wasn’t holding his sword with two hands at this precise moment, so he could have just... used his other hand ) and then Gin goes in for the classic “stabby stabby rapidly at you while the animation gets a little breather because we repeat this cycle a few times with flashy bgs and phew money made” ... WE ARE FOUR MINUTES AND THIRTY SECONDS INTO THIS FIGHT BY THE WAY. Gin does this for seventeen (17) agonizing seconds straight. Yes, I counted. That was sixteen and a half too many seconds for me, personally.

Toshiro somehow lassos Shinso whilst Gin is stabby stabby-ing with Hyourinmaru’s chain component. I say component like it’s somehow some type of beauty guru’s lipstick holder, but really am I that wrong ? When else has he ever used this feature ? Anyways, he lassos Shinso because yeehaw I guess, god I’m falling apart at this point can y’all tell????? I need a drink.

and so, because now Toshiro has Gin’s sword somehow trapped with chain even though it’s just looped around it, he backflips over Gin for a cool trickshot, no blow issued, just vibes, and Gin uses a big brain moment to tug Shinso and the chains slide off. okay now what. We’re past five minutes into this fight, nonstop.

SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD TIME FOR GIN TO PAUSE AND APPRECIATE TOSHIRO AGAIN! “I see, I shouldn’t have underestimated you, HItsugaya Toshiro” I’m starting to have a feeling Gin’s VA was told to just wing these lines because the amount of times he fills silences / Gin’s mouth movements with Toshiro’s long-ass name is astounding, he’s definitely drawing blanks here but he sure as hell knows one thing: that damn ice-boy’s name. He continues by saying “I suppose I’ll end up regretting it afterwards.”

Toshiro says that’s not enough, and it’s really dramatic and cool. His eyes even glow all icy and blue and pretty, like his flowy reiatsu. Aesthetic points were gifted entirely to Toshiro’s animations in this scene. Gin was finished in MS Paint and each new scene they had to draw Shinso from memory and try to remember what hue of purple his hair was at gunpoint. Toshiro lets off a big wave of reiatsu and then it vanishes, and he jumps up reaaaally high. like this guy’s flying. his eyes arent glowing anymore that’s sad. Bring Back Glowing Eyes For Strong Shinigami 2k21.

Toshiro releases his Shikai, and it’s badass, the sky darkens, Izuru looks distinctly more worried than usual, and Gin’s frowning with his teeth out like Bugs Bunny’s having a bad day, all is right in the world. Toshiro and his released Shikai have a nice moment for the Pics, and a big epic freeze frame blur moment happens with it all coiled and swirling around him. Wrow! ( click the ‘wrow’ it’s a link to my exact reaction ) Izuru narrates for the third time about how powerful Toshiro is, his reiatsu, his Zanpakuto being a deity who is only unlocked every few centuries. The strongest ice-type sword. Pardon the pun, but that’s... you could say, so cool.

It can even control the weather. So hey, next time it’s rainy, cold, icy, or snowing and you’re unhappy, it’s time to direct a big fuck you at Toshiro.

Gin dodges the first dragon, and blocks the second with Shinso because blocking water and ice with a sword makes sense right? This actually takes a solid amount of seconds as Gin cuts through the entire length of this ice dragon noodle. Things dissipate, and pause, too, to really drag this out. Surprisingly, this reveals that Gin’s made a boo-boo, his left arm’s frozen, which doesn’t even mean anything because Gin is right-handed, and Toshiro teleports himself behind Gin in true fighty fashion.

We have arrived at seven minutes and just under twenty seconds of this fight, and Gin turns, DOES THE UNTHINKABLE, gasp! He opens his eyes. His red, dull, evil, gray-eyebrowed with purple hair eyes, and shoots Shinso through its hideout spot behind his haori. This nearly takes off Toshiro’s eye and upwards of his head, but the little guy dives down fast. The rest happens in slow motion, supposedly, because it takes an eternity and people talk entire full sentences in its span of time.

Gin asks Toshiro if he’s sure he’d like to dodge that ( it’s a little late for that ) and says that Momo’ll die if he does. SHINSO SCRAPING ALONG AGAINST HYOURINMARU STRANGELY MAKES NOT A SINGLE SOUND. Mute. Even though before they had no problem animating and adding sounds to them smacking blades earlier. There are soundless sparks though, so there’s that. Yay. Can you tell how exhausted this’s made me? I need a nap.

Shinso is already more than halfway towards Momo, still unconscious, she most definitely has a serious concussion via Toshiro backhanding her midair consider she’s been unconscious for longer than ten minutes. Toshiro has time to get up off the floor where he dropped to dodge, realize with a shocked gasp, turn, shout her name, and watch as Rangiku arrives in a random glow of gold which never happens ever again and blocks the attack with Haineko. Haineko almost cracks on the impact, and continues growing in damage as Rangiku holds Shinso there, implying that she’s stopped it from reaching one-hundred sword’s lengths to pierce Momo. Yes I’m including that implication / note in here because we love to see Rangiku succeeding in life and being Not-Helpless, all while potentially damaging Haineko severely if it wasn’t able to hold him off. Yikes, Gin!

Rangiku threatens to join the fight if he doesn’t withdraw his sword. Gin smiles, withdraws it, and then Shunpos away.

Whatta mess. Oh, and the anime fight was pretty fucked up, too.

This is a long post, but here’s the manga version:

Toshiro leaps into the air,

This is where the fight actually starts between them:

And end.

Five pages. Two blows. Does not equate to ten minutes of non-stop fighting and monologues. Sometimes, and I mean this in the most unbiased way possible, less is more.

#[ out of character ] masquerade; hide your face #me: i wanna reply to things!!#also me with eyes glowing red: no.#long post #LOOOONG POSTTTTT...#4 pages.#of text.#im so sorry.

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gascon-en-exil · 3 years

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Three Houses 100% Completion: Refining Those Spreadsheets

To my utter surprise, @symsykins has expressed interest in trying out my long and convoluted idea for a 100% NG+ run of FE16. Far be it from me to stifle the ambitions of a fellow completionist, but as I've made a fair number of updates to the methodology of that post in the months since I wrote it I would be remiss if I didn't publish those changes for the benefit of him or anyone else who wants to try their hand at this absurdity. Sometimes playtesting this stuff can be more entertaining than actually carrying it out....

Additional Parameters

It occurred to me that for "true" 100% completion you also need to complete those things tied to your Switch account rather than individual files. This means filling out the support log, event gallery (Goddess Tower events), and music library. Fun fact: there are exactly 29 Goddess Tower events if the same-sex ones are counted twice as the game does, so provided you plan them out ahead of time you shouldn't have to save scum to get them all.

As mentioned in the earlier post most of this is trivial to complete. The easiest way to raise support points between an active unit and a classroom unit is to have the latter serve as an adjunct during battle. They don't need to have an equipped weapon or be in a class other than noble/commoner, but just having them there will rapidly build supports. Still, it's best to plan out and stagger the number of supports your units take on each run so they're not overloaded. Cross-house supports are one of only two reasons to ever do cross-house recruiting, and they should also be staggered accordingly.

There's also the matter of building up your battalion guild. There are 127 unique battalions to obtain, discounting the Essar Research Group which requires the game's online features and a Switch Online subscription to access. Your guild can fit 200 total battalions in it, so there's ample room to acquire and max out one of each battalion as well as duplicates for the better ones. This is also the only other reason to recruit across houses: to get the three Part 2 paralogues that require it (Ferdinand/Lysithea, Linhardt/Leonie, and Caspar/Mercedes) and so unlock their associated battalions. As with recruiting for cross-house supports, you should only bother doing these once.

One-Time Renown Purchases

You can and should buy all the Renown purchases in Abyss and most of the saint statue bonuses during your first run, using the 10000 Renown bonus from CS and all incidental Renown gained during the run to do so as you can't spend it on anything else. Note that the last bonus for each statue, a boost to units' max stats, is functionally useless for the purposes of this project and so can be left for the second run - a full 10000 Renown you won't have to worry about spending right away. At any rate, however, you'll have amassed enough Renown to complete the saint statues during your second run.

On Monastery Activities

Previously I'd discounted the greenhouse as an unnecessary time sink like fishing and tea time, only to be completed when a quest is involved. However, I find that in non-CF runs you'll quickly start running out of dining hall resources in Part 2 without planting crops, which forces you into the less efficient alternative of running around and throwing gifts at your active units to max out their motivation each week. Therefore I recommend planting vegetables and fruit in the greenhouse throughout Part 1, at which point you can stop because by then you should have accumulated enough resources to cover the rest of the game. Additionally, there are certain glowing blue spots along a typical exploration run route that are guaranteed to drop fish or edible crops - at the stall in front of the fishing pond and on the stalls in the corner of the marketplace where the special merchants gather, namely - which you should check out each month.

Byleth's Level

When Byleth is not an active unit don't bother raising their level higher than 15. This is good enough to recruit all the level-dependent characters (most of the church units), and the only meaningful benefit to going up to 20 is to attempt the proper conduct tournament. However, early on Byleth is unlikely to be able to win the tournament even at 20 without an appropriate class or abilities, and the Renown and brave weapon frankly are not worth the waste of time and space in having them be an adjunct for those five extra levels. Save the tournament for runs where you're actually using Byleth.

Classroom Unit Ranks

A quick correction here. I previously said that Authority should be every character's first priority as a classroom unit, but I no longer believe this is true. With standardized class sets (see further down) it's more important that characters look ahead to the runs they'll be doing in the near future and work on skills relevant to those runs. This especially holds true for banes; a classroom unit can easily take a bane skill as high as B or even A from base over the course of a run, which will help significantly with future certification requirements. Classroom units can work on Authority, but I'd save that for those that have free availability in most or all runs like Anna and the Wolves. The regular students and to a lesser extent non-student characters that join late will want to prioritize their problem skills and build Authority mostly during combat in their active runs.

Route Distribution

I had previously suggested that CF should have the most runs to compensate for Jeritza being awful...but screw that. My current 29 run setup:

6 runs of SS

10 runs of AM

9 runs of VW

4 runs of CF

Notably, this works out to 9 or 10 runs per house which is overall more significant given the advantages in-house units enjoy. The choice to give AM an extra run over VW came down to AM having more exclusive units; VW's one extra week isn't that much of an advantage, not when the Deer lack a Part 2 exclusive and also include Lysithea. But, you ask, can you get away with running CF that little?

Playtesting suggests yes, provided those runs follow some strict parameters: five units only, with three of them being the CF exclusives and the remaining two slots covered by a rotation of the other Eagles. SS runs should precede CF runs whenever possible, to give Edelgard, Hubert, and the rest of their house more classroom time to make up for having to share runs of the shortest route in the game with Jeritza. Jeritza should always hold one of the Knowledge Gems during Part 2, with Edelgard and Hubert sharing the other. The other Eagles can lean on their active use in SS runs to make up for the deficit, and even Edelgard and Hubert can prep for their active runs or finish up skill ranks in SS. Jeritza though....

Number-Crunching Jeritza

To illustrate why I complain about Jeritza as much as I do (from a unit perspective, that is - it's been well-established why I hate him as a character), let's take a particular trouble spot of his as an example. Jeritza has an Authority bane, which means that even with Mastermind and a Knowledge Gem equipped he'll gain no more than 3 points of it during each combat encounter, or 6 if he uses a gambit (not to be relied on given how limited in use per map gambits are). He doesn't have access to any classes that boost Authority, so this is the best it gets. Starting at B Authority means it'll take him 2920 total points to reach S+. Assuming no classroom instruction (because he's got ten other skills to work on, you know) and no gambit use, that works out to him needing about 974 total combat encounters or an average of 244 encounters in each of his four runs.

Is that feasible? If you follow my method of exploring on weekends before instruction weeks and battling on other weekends (and assuming your first run is not CF which...no) there are (3 battles per weekend x 5 calendar months) + 6 chapter maps = 21 battles that Jeritza will fight. Obviously those battles vary in length, but that comes to an average of 12 combat encounters per battle. That's admittedly a bit steep, especially earlier on when few of your other units will have maxed Authority and can be used as adjuncts, but remember that gambits count as two combat encounters and that, more significantly, the other units will eventually max out Authority and allow you to field only three frontline units at a time. It does help that both Edelgard and Hubert have Authority boons, so they should be backline-ready no later than their second active run.

Unfortunately there is one little hiccup to this. CF's first calendar month consists of just one free weekend and the chapter map. As annoying as it is the journal can only be accessed while exploring, which means that on each CF run after the first you'll have to choose between skipping three battles that month or updating Jeritza's skill ranks. You should always choose to battle, because it will help out your other units (who already end up screwed out of a few battles thanks to what choosing CF does to the end of Part 1) and also allow Jeritza to start working on ranks he hadn't touched in earlier runs. The wasted Authority growth is a shame, but at least Jeritza has the base ranks to certify for any beginner class right out the gate so he can pick up a sword/lance/axe/gauntlet/Thunder and still make use of the training time. CF Chapter 13 is also unusually short and will be finished in only a few turns, so it's not a great loss either.

And all that was just for one rank! Hopefully that proves my point about Jeritza sucking, even if mercifully his class masteries and other skill ranks are less of a pain. Even faith can be worked around with bishop and holy knight offering 6 points per combat encounter, although he'll probably want to save his monk run until he can be an adjunct so he's less hobbled by his tiny spell lists.

Standardized Class Sets

Probably the part of this update I'm most proud of, as I put a lot of thought into simplifying one of the more needlessly complex elements of my original setup. Crafting individualized class sets for each character may sound fun on paper, but it's a hassle to keep track of when actually playing the game and doesn't have any substantial benefit. Characters can patch up their banes through classroom training, and furthermore class certification requires nothing higher than A which is a major reason that mastering classes is more of a rote structural element of individual runs than something that requires intricate plotting.

As such, have some standardized sets. These come in male and female versions to account for genderlock and similar considerations, and they apply to all characters except Byleth and the house leaders who have to be handled a bit differently. Noble and commoner are not listed as they're trivial to master; just make sure that non-student characters go back and do so at some point, like when they're being used as adjuncts for supports.

Below each set is a list of the skills needed to guarantee certification in all of the set's classes. This was a useful metric for determining which classes went best where.

Myrmidon

Male

Mercenary

Thief

Dancer (if available)

Hero

Swordmaster

Assassin

Trickster

Death Knight (Jeritza only)

Mortal Savant

A Swords C Axes C Bows B+ Reason B Faith

Female

Mercenary

Thief

Dancer (if available)

Swordmaster

Trickster

War Cleric

Mortal Savant

Gremory

A Swords B+ Brawling A Reason A Faith

There are a lot of sword-based classes, more so than any other weapon or magic type, and that combined with the rarity of sword banes - only Bernadetta and Mercedes - means that often even characters neutral in the skill will max out swords during the course of their myrmidon run.

This run has the distinction of being the only one to not require any of the movement type ranks, which is one reason why gremory is here. The other is that female characters have eight regular master classes as opposed to males' seven, so while when divided across four runs males get a free space here (which Jeritza takes advantage of), females do not. Unfortunately mortal savant is the only master class that proceeds naturally from all the earlier sword classes, but if you'll notice from the male set's requirements there are fairly high reason and faith requirements here even without gremory.

The other oddity is war cleric, which takes the place of assassin (see below) but stands awkwardly as female characters' only serious brawling class. The secondary faith requirement slots easily into a run that also includes trickster, but as I explained in the first post brawling is going to be a problem skill for female characters no matter what you do.

One more note: it's important to consider certain things when deciding which active units will go in which run. Myrmidon runs require the most scrutiny as this is where characters will be dancers, and of course you can only have one of those per run. These runs also require the limited availability Abyssian Exam Passes, one for males and two for females, so keep that in mind as well.

Soldier

Male

Armored Knight

Cavalier

Archer

Fortress Knight

Paladin

Sniper

Great Knight

Bow Knight

A Lances B+ Axes A Bows A Heavy Armor A Riding

Female

Cavalier

Archer

Pegasus Knight

Assassin

Paladin

Sniper

Falcon Knight

Bow Knight

B Swords A Lances A Bows A Riding B+ Flying

Here we see the major influence of genderlocked classes. Female characters have more obvious lance options thanks to the pegasus classes, whereas males have to take the heavy armor classes instead. This balances out in the fighter runs, but for now it's worth pointing out that characters will only be using lances and bows in these runs. Swords (females) or axes (males) will be trained entirely in the classroom, with females running assassin as a bow class and males running the heavy armor classes with lances. Hey, great knight does have Lancefaire, and more importantly all the classes mentioned also boost those weapon types.

Fighter

Male

Brigand

Brawler

Wyvern Rider

Warrior

Grappler

War Monk

Wyvern Lord

War Master

C Lances A Axes A Brawling C+ Faith A Flying

Female

Armored Knight

Brigand

Fortress Knight

Wyvern Rider

Warrior

Wyvern Lord

Great Knight

C Lances A Axes A Heavy Armor B+ Riding A Flying

This is the inverse of soldier, with male characters taking a quartet of brawling classes while females go mono-axes with the heavy armor classes and others. The female set also has one fewer class than all the others here, a consequence of there being one fewer female-exclusive class than male. As with the master class free space in male myrmidon, keep that in mind for later. The singular axe focus and smaller number of classes compensate for female fighters needing to train all three movement types here, which is annoying but necessary. I tried numerous combinations of classes in the soldier and fighter runs, but incredibly this is the one that's least demanding on overall ranks. What can you do?

Male fighters require an Abyssian Exam Pass - just pointing that out.

Monk

Male

Mage

Dark Mage

Priest

Warlock

Dark Bishop

Bishop

Dark Knight

Holy Knight

C Lances A Reason A Faith A Riding

Female

Mage

Priest

Warlock

Bishop

Dark Flier

Valkyrie

Dark Knight

Holy Knight

C Lances A Reason A Faith A Riding C Flying

With the understanding that gremory is covered in the myrmidon run, there's little to mention here. Rank requirements are almost identical with females only needing to work on flying a bit. These runs are the most demanding on limited seals though, with males needing two Dark Seals and females two Abyssian Exam Passes. Make sure you plan accordingly.

Also, these runs make it clear that if you're going to equip these characters with a weapon for when they run out of spells (as might well happen during earlygame), make it a lance.

Edelgard

From the standard sets:

Add lord to myrmidon

Add armored lord and emperor to fighter

Because female fighters are already one class short Edelgard can add two classes there and still come out as even as possible. She's the only character other than Byleth with more than eight master classes, meaning she'll have to do three of them in one run, but with her it's no trouble aside from emperor having the worst availability of any class in the game that is. Her unique classes slot well into fighter as it is.

Dimitri and Claude

From the standard sets:

Add lord to soldier

Move hero from myrmidon to fighter

Add high lord and great lord/wyvern master and barbarossa to myrmidon

The guys, meanwhile, don't fare as well. They take advantage of the same free space for a master class that Jeritza does, but to make the rest of this happen things have to get a bit messy. They'll have to have a certain sword rank for their soldier and fighter runs now, but as they both have sword boons that's not too tall of an order. They can also run hero as an axe class and lord as a lance class to match those runs' themes, which also helps each of them a bit in a different way - Dimitri with his axe bane, Claude with his lance bane. Dimitri's unique classes fit well with myrmidon as they also boost swords, but the best you could say about Claude's unique classes in myrmidon is that he won't have to train up bows for assassin when he can just switch to using them in wyvern master.

Byleth

The Avatar’s special gender-variable self needs class sets built from the ground up to accommodate their ability to access all of the genderlocked classes. As follows:

Myrmidon (male)

Mercenary

Thief

Dark Mage

Hero

Swordmaster

Assassin

Dark Bishop

Trickster

Enlightened One

Mortal Savant

Soldier (female)

Cavalier

Archer

Pegasus Knight

Paladin

Wyvern Rider

Sniper

Falcon Knight

Wyvern Lord

Bow Knight

Fighter (male)

Armored Knight

Brigand

Brawler

Fortress Knight

Warrior

Grappler

War Monk

Great Knight

War Master

Monk (female)

Mage

Priest

Warlock

Bishop

Dark Flier

Valkyrie

Dark Knight

Holy Knight

Gremory

Apart from the two female runs having three master classes apiece - unfortunate but necessary, as with Edelgard - the biggest surprise here should be dark mage/bishop in myrmidon. They need to be in a male run though, and there are more magical female-exclusive classes so that's not going to be monk. Alongside the standard mortal savant it's not much of a stretch in terms of skills (something Byleth never struggles with anyway because faculty training is a thing), but the required two Dark Seals should be considered.

Conclusion

I think that's just about everything for now? I could be really over the top and map out exact routes for exploration, efficient paralogue choices, and more nitpicky stuff, but even I've got my limit. Part of the fun of 100% is being able to adapt your strategies anyway, so I'm not sure that being that precise would be the best way to approach hypothetically helping someone else do something like this.

#Fire Emblem #FE16 #Fire Emblem Three Houses

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chaoticspacefam · 4 years

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2020 In Review: Wordcount Tag

I was tagged for this by @actualanxiousswampwitch , thank you! I’m not sure who’s already done or been tagged for this cause I am, once again, late to the party LOL but I shall (no pressure and sorry if you’ve already done it!) tag: @rainofaugustsith , @darth-bagel , @thatmmolesbian , @thelastenvoyyy and anybody else who wants to do this. Yes, I promise I mean you!

Words: 45,314

Published: 0 (I’m not counting the couple of Six Sentence tags I’ve gotten, they’re snippets of an unfinished piece & are included below instead :), or roleplay replies, cause that feels like cheating lol.) I actually wrote a lot more than I thought I had, this is a rough guesstimate as well, as my oneshot WIPs tend to be all over the place across something like 6 different documents, some of which have existed since 2018, so I had to guess at how far up to count from the end for some of them, but I think it’s a fair guesstimate XD I also have included lore/worldbuilding docs in this because that was a 3-month long Lockdown 1.0 Boredom/”Canon is a trash fire so I’m ignoring that and making up my own lore” passion project and I’m goddamn proud of how much I wrote for that. It’s the most I’ve written in one stretch (think I finished it over a span of 3 nights or so, once I’d done all the research and made all the notes ofc ^^)

Not Published: 45,314

The Breakdown:

swtor - 45,314

for creeping shadows (my main longfic/part one of the subterfugeverse series) - 1,553 - Aria, stop being difficult! *shakes fists* XD

oneshots - 16,223

lore/worldbuilding (for subterfugeverse naturally) - 23,001 (is this ALL tomato alien lore? pretty much, yes, yes it is :’D ~400 words is “the WIP reworked timeline to correlate my worldbuilding with the canon timeline that was released”, but 98% is just...me thinking way too much about Purebloods and how they deserved way better goddamn lore. I blame @fluffynexu ‘s amazing tomato worldbuilding posts, reading them when I went looking for “canon” lore one day for the rp is what got me started down that rabbithole (it’s awesome and if you haven’t already you should totally go check hers out too :DD), I had a “fuck you then canon I’ll do it myself too >:L” moment and once I started I couldn’t stop until I’d crapped out literally over 20k words on the subject *whispering* thank you LOL)

zephyrverse au bonus oneshots - 4,537 (stuff I wrote to fill in time gaps or “just cause I had a plot bunny”, relating to mine and k-christine’s zephyrverse au rp. None of these will likely be posted publicly, but they still deserve to be counted as words I wrote this year :’D

As you can see, most of my “muse” this year came from sporadic oneshots :’D The Ahaszaai twins also properly plot-bunnied their way into my brain in late 2019 and haven’t stopped making a nuisance of themselves the whole fucking year. Every time I tried to carry on with a chapter, one of the two of them would pop up like “Nooo write about ME! pay attention to ME!” - Yes, Ni’kasi, I will get to you this year, I promise XD

New Things I Tried:

Just Writing. Not worrying about whether “it wasn’t part of the next chapter” or “it comes from a part in the story that I’m nowhere near close to posting yet”. If I felt like writing something, or for a specific pairing/feeling/scene, whatever. I wrote until I ran outta muse juice. Yeah, it meant I didn’t technically “finish” anything this year BUT - the important thing is I wrote stuff. and that’s all that really matters, eh? :’D

Polyam ships! May not seem like a big deal but I spent a long time talking myself out of them because of internalised toxic monogamy and finally saying “you know what, fuck it! I can ship three or more people together and it can still be a perfectly wholesome, healthy and loving relationship and that’s okay” was a BIG thing for me this year.

Dialogue Scripts: which I didn’t count as wordcount because really it’s just word vomit of general tone/inflection and dialogue that I came up with right before falling asleep which I didn’t want to lose. Basically, if an exchange or a particularly punchy or moving line of dialogue popped into my brain but I wasn’t ready to write the whole scene that it fit into out, but didn’t want to forget the line(s). I wrote it out in movie script/script-style roleplay fashion e.g. Character’s Name: (emotion, hand gestures etc.) [Dialogue here] and so on. I know this is probably a well known trick of the trade, but I never took it seriously until this year. Seriously, do it. It’s great.

Favorite Thing I Wrote:

Hmmm, a snippet for Andronikos/Ni’kasi that I started this week which isn’t posted yet (saving it for this week’s Six Sentence Sunday so look out for it! :D) was pretty fun to work on, I love their dynamic and Kas is suprisingly fun to write for.

Also the Aria/Vano proposal scene that I posted a snippet for the week before last. I’m having great fun with that scene, and I really enjoy putting a non-serious spin on the classic “proposal scene” tropes. Can’t wait to finish it, though it may be a while before the full one goes up on AO3, as it depends whether it ends up fitting in as part of the mainfic or as an additional oneshot

And I have a D’leah/Kissai oneshot that I need to give another once-over before I finally yeet it onto AO3 and Tumblr for you guys to see :’D

Favorite Fic I Read:

@sleepswithvillains Eleanora/Quinn fic, Helplessly Hoping. I’m horribly behind on chapters and I gotta catch up and read the finale this week, but it’s been a helluva great ride and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the story! <3

Also The Invitation collab with @tishinada featuring Zas and Fiona had me squealing, I can’t wait to catch up on HH and see more of these two, they’re adorable ;-; @a-muirehen ‘s Relu/Merkara series of course! I’m a complete sucker for (friends to lovers to in Ariano’s case but yea pfpfpf) enemies to lovers ships and these two are just so good, I am on the edge of my seat every time we get a new snippet for them, ngl (grimace emoji) @darth-bagel ‘s Sylvas/Graz’zt and Sylvas/Liz/Rilfaen snippets which they’ve been spoiling me with on Discord @mercurypilgrim ‘s Ven’fir/Quinn AU oneshots, Cloudbank (Western was a particular favourite, but all are very good!) and of course @rainofaugustsith ‘s Lana/Viri updates are always fantastic, some personal favourites from this year were Almost There & Memory of Healing :3 (I totally still go back to read Commander & Advisor too sometimes, getting to see Viri be a little diabolical and messing with “MiNiSTeR LoRMaN!” was and still is my favourite thing XD)

If I’ve left you out I’m sorry!! These were the ones that stuck out in my memory, but I’ve loved everyone’s writing this year, it’s been great :3

Writing Goals:

to actually finish and post chapter 8 & 9 of Creeping Shadows. Then we’ll get to the meat and potatoes of the story and maybe Aria will stop being a brat and fighting me every time I try to stick to a semi-regular update schedule Get off my butt, finalise the name and get started on Ni’kasi’s part of the Subterfugeverse story. Maybe run the updates in-tandem with Creeping Shadows but idk if I want to wait till after CS is done before I start posting Kas’s side, or do them side-by-side yet, we’ll see ;) Keep writing! I know better than to pressure myself by setting a specific word count goal, that’s never worked well in the past

At least 2 chapters of each of the works mentioned above would be great though, more would be better! We’ll see how I go

Words of Thanks:

honestly, to everybody in the fandom I’ve met this year. Anybody that I follow, thank you for being there and engaging with me and/or posting amazing content for me to look at! I came over from deviantART where the SWTOR fandom is incredibly small and generally quite inactive and the contrast since moving over here has been incredibly uplifting. I very nearly cancelled Creeping Shadows and stopped posting fic for my SWTORverse altogether because I got next to no engagement on dA and it was very disheartening to the point where I felt I could enjoy the game and the rp partners I had, but the solo projects I’d put so much thought, time and love into already weren’t worth continuing. You guys took that spark and kept it going and I really don’t have enough words to say how grateful I am for that. Even if I haven’t published much this year, making posts on this tumblr, interacting with everyone and working on lore, plot points and so on for Subterfugeverse has kept me going through the Hellish Year of Nightmares that was 2020 <3

to the amazing new friends I’ve made in this past year, who have listened to me ramble about headcanons, character backstories, writing snippets (and rambled/sent some back), keep being awesome: @walk-ng-d-saster , @darth-bagel , @kyber-heart , @deepseacritter , @thedinalixlegacy to further friends and meme tag buddies, I get so excited every time I see a mention for a new meme or ask game in my inbox, so thank you!! : @mimabeann , @palepinkycat , @a-master-procrastinator , @raven-of-domain-kwaad , @actualanxiousswampwitch , @thatmmolesbian , @a-muirehen to my regular commentors/rebloggers/likers/askbox lurkers, I see every one of you and every time your users pop up I grin like a kid in a toy shop: @starlightjedi , @sparkles-and-rust , @wilvarin-chan , @sunsetofdoom , @ask-an-andalite , @thelastenvoyyy . @lyrishadow and more because Tumblr only goes so far back and I have the memory of Swiss Cheese. If you regularly comment, like, reblog, or anything, from me, know that I see you, and I love and appreciate you for it! <3

I couldn’t possibly remember to tag everyone and I promise if I missed you out it’s not because I hate you! Anxiety just sometimes be a bitch and I don’t wanna look like a clown calling someone a “friend” if I’m not explicitly sure we are, in fact, friends. I think you’re all awesome and I’m so glad to have moved over here and met you all <3

#long post #wordcount year review tag #elven's writing: stats #repost bc i goofed some links woops sorry everyone #^^;#will i eventually post any of this stuff? yes!#i will. i just...don't know *when* the time will be right for most of it hahaha #the only bits i won't post are the zephyrverse-specific oneshots cause i just don't feel like i want to #but everything else will (eventually) in some capacity be thrown into the void for all of you to read #shameless friend appreciation post #shameless mutual and follower appreciation post #<3 #swtor sort of

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changingourdestiny · 4 years

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Beyond Light Part 2: The Gift

Summary:

Rae, Blaze and Tif head to Eramis’s base of operations, Riis Reborn, to learn more about Eramis and the power she wields - Stasis. But they quickly learn defeating her and her house may not be as easy as they thought.

Previous Part: Here

Next Part: Here

The weather had cleared up a bit as Rae, Blaze and Tif entered the abandoned building where Variks was hiding. It looked like it hadn’t been used for centuries and items were strewn about the room, except for a wet floor sign that was still standing upright. ‘Did Variks put that there?’ Rae thought to herself before continuing to where Variks stood in front of a control panel with a window above it. “You do not trust Variks, yes? But leave your distrust, your blame, for later.” Variks began before noticing the third member behind Rae and Blaze, “Hmm…you dress like a captain, yet you are human.”

“Captain Tifawt Kariuki of House Light. Tif to my friends.” Tif greeted with a smile, “You’re Variks of House Judgement, right? Misraakskel has mentioned you before when talking about his time at the Reef.”

“A Guardian captain of Misraaks. A welcome ally.” Variks gave a nod to Tif. “With formalities out of the way,” Blaze interrupted, “Who was the Eliksni that tried to turn you into a popsicle?”

Variks tilted his head in confusion. “What’s a…pop-sik-el?” Tif asked, sharing Variks’s confusion. “It’s flavoured ice that people eat.” Rae explained. “Oh, that makes sense! I think…” Tif smiled. “The Eliksni who attacked me – she is Eramis, Shipstealer.” Variks explained, “A new Kell of Kells, unifier of the houses – and she seeks to build an army of Eliksni, powered by Darkness.”

“Great. Skolas 2.0.” Blaze muttered. “So that ice power she used was the Darkness you sensed earlier.” Rae said as Ghost appeared beside her. “Sounds about right. If the Eliksni weren’t already a threat, they certainly are now.”

“If she is not stopped, she will destroy us all.” Variks added, “You must go! Variks will help you find your way.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rae and Blaze sped across the snow on their Sparrows with Tif beside them on their Pike. “Hey, Variks.” Rae began, “Anything we should know about that power Eramis was using?”

“We call it Stasis.” Variks began, “Power in opposition to your Light, given by the Pyramid. It led Eramis astray. Europa was to be a haven for Eliksni. But Stasis corrupted her. With it, she turns obsession into opportunity, working in haste to empower Eliksni with the Dark gift. If Eramis is not stopped, she will build an army capable of snuffing out the Light, once and for all.”

“We won’t let that happen.” Blaze smirked, “Dark or not, ice stands no chance against fire. And we have three Guardians who specialise in Solar plus a Guardian who can turn into an inferno. We got this handled.”

“Let’s not get cocky.” Rae warned, “We don’t know what Stasis is capable of, or Eramis for that matter. We need to play this carefully.”

“I’m with Rae. I don’t wanna be a pop-sik-el!” Tif added, “Hey, am I saying it right? Pop-sik-el?”

“Close. Popsicle.”

“Pop…sik-il…popsicle! I think I got it!” Tif cheered, “I’ve been with House Light for a lot of my life so I’m not too familiar with some human stuff.”

“You should come to the Tower after we’re done here.” Blaze suggested, “We can show you around!”

“Ooh! Yes please!”

Rae couldn’t help but chuckle at Tif’s excitement. It made her feel a little less antsy about this mission.

The trio emerged from the tunnels into an area filled with ruins of old buildings. “What is this place?” Tif asked. “No clue.” Berhane replied. “This is what remains of Eventide.” Ghost answered, “Clovis Bray’s Europan colony. Built to house those who came to build Exo…and to become them.”

“You think Cayde was made here?” Blaze asked. “Cayde, Banshee, Ada, Shiro…probably every Exo we know was made here.” Rae replied, a grim expression on her face. “Why do you make it sound like a bad thing?” Tif asked, sensing the atmosphere drop. “Clovis wasn’t a good person.” Rae replied, “He was a genius, but was also egotistical and a megalomaniac. He was responsible for a lot of deaths while making the Exos. From what I’ve been able to read up on, the first people went insane upon becoming Exominds. We’d be here all day if I listed off all the stuff he did.”

“That’s awful…what happened to him?”

“He made AI and Exo version of himself.” Blaze replied, “Nobody really knows what happened to them though. Frankly, I hope they’re dead too.”

“Let’s focus on the mission.” Rae sighed, “Any more talk of Clovis and I’ll be temped to blow up what remains of this place.”

“Well if we’re changing the subject,” Ghost began, “Variks, why did you come to Europa in the first place? Hiding from the Vanguard?”

“Variks knows of the ‘elephant in the room’. Cayde-6’s death was not my intention.” Variks replied, “No day passes without regret. I will answer for these crimes. But not before my people are safe from Eramis.”

“I don’t blame you directly for what happened to Cayde.” Rae replied, “Though you are responsible for the release of the Scorn. I’ll try to see if I can organise something with Zavala, but I promise nothing.”

“Variks appreciates this.”

“What’s an elephant?” Tif whispered to Blaze as they pulled up to a building. “I’ll tell you later.” Blaze replied, “Let’s go scope out Eramis’s place.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The three Guardians crept through Riis Reborn until they arrived at a bridge with a window peering down into a large room. There a large gathering of Fallen stood around a large Pyramid shard with Eramis stood with a large servitor and several other Fallen. “You’re all here for the same reason.” Eramis began, “Because you desire freedom for our people. And I can give you just that. Chains! For centuries, we have been bound by them. Servants to the so-called ‘Great’ Machine.” Eramis motioned to the servitor, “We even built idols in its image. We have become pawns of our own devices. No. Longer.” Eramis summoned an orb Stasis in her hand before using it to completely freeze the servitor. “Whoa…” Tif muttered as Eramis continued, “Today…we begin breaking free from our chains.” Eramis punched the servitor right in the centre, causing it to shatter. Tif flinched at the sight as did some of the Fallen below. “This power is a gift.” Eramis said, holding up her upper hand, “One I will share with all of you, in time. Phylaks!” Below Eramis, a baron stepped up towards the shard. “No way…!” Tif gasped.

“Do you know her?” Blaze asked.

“I know of her. Phylaks the Warrior. According to Misraaks, she used to be with House Devils and was famous at Twilight Gap. She’s super strong.”

“And she’s with Eramis. Greeeaaat.”

The shard began to glow orange as Eramis began to speak again, “One by one, we will rise again.” A small blue splinter emerged from the shard and Phylaks took it in her hand and placed it in a slot on her gauntlet as an icy mist emerged from her arms. She slammed her arms down and large spikes of stasis emerged from the ground. The Fallen began to cheer as Eramis raised her hands, “This is our future! Our enemies stand no chance against this power. The Great Machine will finally know our pain!”

As the cheering continued, Rae’s expression turned grim, “This is bad. If they have access to Darkness this easily, they could be more of a threat than we thought. We need to-”

“Uhh…guys?”

Rae turned to Tif who wore a scared expression on their face as they pointed at the window. Rae looked back down to see a dreg pointing up at them while Eramis stood beside them…staring directly at them, “It would appear our enemies have arrived, eager to test us. Let’s not keep them waiting.”

“Oh crap…” Blaze muttered, before the sound of many footsteps began to approach them. “Time to go! Run!” Rae called out as the trio ran back the way they came. “I’m calling our ships now. Don’t stop. Keep moving!” Ghost called out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“They actually have Darkness. The Eliksni. This is really bad.” Ghost muttered as he helped Rae set up the comms relays outside Variks’s hideout with Tif and Blaze standing guard. The trio had narrowly escaped Riis Reborn and were setting up a secret network to reach out to defectors of Eramis’s house. “We’ll figure something out. Panicking won’t do us any good.” Rae replied as they finished setting up the second relay. “You’re right. I’ll let Variks know we’re nearly done up here.” Ghost replied, “Okay, Variks, that’s two-” Ghost was cut off as Rae suddenly hear whispers echo in her head. As they faded, she turned to Blaze and Tif. Judging by their unnerved faces, they heard it too. “Did you…hear that?” Ghost asked, “Sounded like voices.”

“S-scary!” Tif whimpered. “What? Who?” Variks asked. “The one’s who spoke through me.” Ghost replied quietly. “The Pyramids…” Rae sighed, remembering their time on the Moon a year ago. “We must hurry then. There’s one more relay.” Variks replied. The three Guardians left the roof of the base and made their way over to the last relay. Ghost scanned over it and within a matter of seconds, it was up and running. “And done! Now let’s-”

“Uh…Rae?” Blaze pointed beyond the relay where a shard had taken form and had began to glow a bright orange. “That doesn’t look-” Before Tif could finish their sentence, the orange glow exploded outwards and everything briefly went white. “Oh no.” Ghost exclaimed as the whispers returned, “It’s them. They’re here. They’re…beckoning us.” Rae flinched upon hearing the last part, recognising Ghost’s change in tone as the Pyramids talking through him. “Not again…” Rae muttered, “Come on. Let’s see what it wants.” Rae glided over to where the shard was. “You’re joking right?” Blaze asked in disbelief. “Hey, wait up!” Tif dashed after Rae as Blaze let out a frustrated sigh before following them. But as they approached, the shard disappeared and reappeared in the distance. “We beckoned. You answered. We’ve kept you waiting long enough.” Ghost’s distorted voice began, “Come to us; salvation awaits.” Rae sighed as she muttered, “Not this bs again.” Under her breath before motioning for the others to follow her, “Come on. Let’s see what it wants.”

“You’ve dealt with this before?” Tif asked as the three Guardians carefully made their way down the cliff towards the shard. “You could say that. Remember when you helped us on the moon?” Blaze began, “Well it turns out that Pyramid was related to the Darkness and it began talking through Ghost when we got near it. I feel really bad for him.”

“He’s not the only one who’s sick of it either.” Rae sighed as she took out Ghost who was just floating with a blank expression, absolutely still, “Hey. I get you’re trying to get our attention, but can you do so in a way that DOESN’T involve possessing my Ghost? Neither of us really appreciate it.”

Absolute silence.

Rae sighed as she dismissed Ghost, “Figured.”

As they made their way over a large gap in the ice, the Darkness spoke through Ghost again, “The Light believes you thankless. Nothing more than a soldier asked again and again to do its bidding. So we want to thank you. With a gift. To help you finally take control.” The shard teleported again down an icy valley. “A gift?” Tif raised an eyebrow, “Do you think it’s…?”

“Only one way to find out.” Rae replied as they trekked through the snow until they arrived at a large plain of snow and ice, a Pyramid barely visible in the distance. A large object emerged from it and flew across the plains, shifting as it went, until it landed on the ice and seemed to form some sort of temple. “What is-?” Rae was cut off by the sound of a Captain’s roar followed by the sound of battle. “Are there other Guardians here?” Blaze asked as the trio rushed to where they heard the commotion. “Possibly. But I think we were the only one assigned here-” Rae suddenly ground to a halt and put her arms out to stop Tif and Blaze as a loud boom echoed around them followed by a cloud of snow blowing past them. As the snow cleared, Rae heard a familiar voice that she hadn’t heard in many years.

“And here comes our Guardians. Right on time.”

The snow cloud cleared to reveal Eris Morn, Drifter, and Marcia standing beside a familiar white Exo. “It’s you…” Rae muttered as she stared in disbelief. Tif peered past them and gave a wave along with a grin, “Hi, Marcia!”

“S’up, Tif?” Marcia waved back. Blaze just glanced between everyone, the Fallen corpses around them, and the temple nearby before eventually letting out a sigh, “I say this a lot…but Traveller this is the weirdest mission I’ve ever been on.”

To Be Continued…

#Changing our Destiny #rae drakyx #blaze kiria #tif kariuki #fireteam paralight #variks the loyal #variks #eramis #ghost #destiny ghost #exo stranger #destiny drifter #The Drifter #Eris Morn #destiny eris morn #marcia wyverk #destiny 2

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ettawritesnstudies · 4 years

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a ramble about cool things I learned whilst writing a history essay on martial arts

My essay is done! but it was only allowed to be 1500 words and I learned a lot of REALLY COOL STUFF so I’m dumping the rest of that research here in case anyone wants to use it as a writing reference or whatever! the rest of whatever I’m talking about will be under a cut because I anticipate this is going to get long.

kay! So! I signed up for this history-designation class called “Women in Pre-Industrial China” this semester because it was the only thing that would fit into my schedule and I needed to finish my humanities requirement. I have a US high school understanding of Chinese history at this point, I can’t speak a word of the language, but I am nothing if not curious so I enthusiastically hit that “register” button. I was expecting a crash course in important historical figures. I was not expecting 3 months of talking about marriage, rape, childbirth, periods, abortion, and infanticide. Nothing bad about that and it’s all important to know, I learned a lot!, But it got depressing really fast, and for my last essay I asked my professor to talk about something a little more empowering - martial arts

A really cool thing about martial arts (judo, jujitsu, tae kwon do, karate) is that they all stem from an original kung fu style from the Tang Dynasty! These ideas and techniques are Really Old! And they’ve never really been written down until recently so a lot of the sources we have are just. people! The legends and techniques and philosophies have been passed down from master to student for centuries which I think is really cool. It’s possibly the closest thing and biggest scale of oral history in the modern-day! The different styles became a thing in the Ming dynasty where schools fragmented and went off to do their own thing, so the practice really only spread worldwide in the last century or so, but I can trace my school’s “generations” of sensei's all the way back to the founder by 6 steps! And I live on the other side of the world from Okinawa. :D

And women have been involved THE WHOLE TIME. A lady named Fang Qiniang invented White Crane Kung Fu. Nuns trained in the Shaolin monastery alongside the monks. A nun named Ng Mui taught Wing Chung to fight so that she could defend herself from a stalker, and then she went on to defend her village and develop the famous Wing Chung style of kung fu that’s featured in a TON of different movies and practiced all over the world! These styles specifically work better for women because they rely on timing and redirection, not brute strength! I can take down my 6′something brother who’s at least a 100 pounds heavier than me and I can defend other people who might need it. Master Funakoshi, the creator of Shotokan Karate (my style!) insisted that karate was a worthwhile pursuit for all peoples and welcomed women into his dojo from the beginning. their stories aren’t documented well, but they were there, and I’m willing to bet there’s a lot more stories of awesome badass women that have been lost to history (or the fact that I can’t read Chinese. yet.)

In the military, of course everyone’s heard of Mulan, but there were also several Empresses who commanded the army, even as far as being on the battlefield shouting orders! The mentality behind Kung fu directly ties into Taoism, Buddhism, and Confucianism from the Sun Tzu’s Art of War! Which is an incredible feat of combining philosophy, religion, sports, politics, and art in one beautiful and powerful practice!

I was always an active kid, but I hated sports (especially team sports) because there was always this awful competitive nature to it. You had to be social to fit in with the group and I was never too keen on that, even in “solitary” sports like swim team where you’re supposedly only competing against your own best time. But I’ve had some of the most positive experiences in the dojo. Karate, and all martial arts, are intrinsically tied to building character because they teach you how to live a better life and be a better person - self-discipline, focus, respect. It’s not easy but it’s worth it and I’m just! honored! to be a part of such a long and interesting history!

I’m not sure where this stuff is going to show up in a story yet but I’m sure it will at some point. If any of you were wondering and are still reading... yes Aimon being a fighter and teaching Grace how to spar is absolutely inspired by my dad who joined karate with me and my younger siblings the minute I expressed interest in it and is now a blackbelt running class out of our basement while our dojo is closed. My baby sister learned how to do a hammer fist strike yesterday and she’s very proud of the fact that she can now practice with us.

And if you are still reading, Thank you! This turned into a ramble and I’m really happy that anyone would really be interested in hearing me rant about all that. :)

#etta rambles #martial arts #karate #Shotokan karate #wing chun #white crane kung fu #kung fu #china #history #religion #sports #writing reference #writing ref

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incandescent-eden · 4 years

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31 Days of Horror - Vast (2)

My go at day 2 of 31 days of horror : Vast ! And this one was finished before 12 A M in my time, I am so excited!

Total word count: 1457

TW / CW : deep sea mentions , unidentified creatures , bullying behaviors , burn wounds , burn mentions , (special mention for scientific inaccuracies)

---

“What the hell?” Vivienne clenched the clipboard she held. It dug into her palm as she tried to resist the urge to throw it at the woman who had brought her in through the mechanically locked doors.

An urge that was quickly becoming harder to fight while the woman stammered out an explanation. She had been studying the specimen for longer, had been on the initial team that found it, or so Vivienne had been told when she accepted the project.

“This is the specimen, Dr. Zhu,” she said, wringing her hands. A strand of her straight black hair slipped in front of her goggles from the loose ponytail that held it back. Sloppy.

“Is this a joke?” Vivienne demanded. Her fingertips ached from pressing on the clipboard. “I was told there was a specimen to study, and you take me here to show me, what? A central pillar?”

Slowly, shakily, Vivienne lowered her clipboard, pressing her other hand to her temple. She tried to breathe, to keep her voice level. It wouldn’t do to get angry at another researcher, not on her first day. “Did David put you up to this? I won’t get mad, just tell me where the real specimen is, and who told you to play this silly little prank. I won’t even tell the director.” She grit her teeth, inhaling through her nose. Exhaling. “Just stop. Wasting. My time.”

“Um,” the woman whispered. The red stitching on her lab coat read ‘Dr. W. Ng.’ “N-no, that… that really is the specimen, Dr. Zhu. That entire tank…”

Vivienne’s breath hitched, mid-inhale. She turned around.

The tank was pressurized, puffs of air hissing every few seconds around it. It was a tube, the kind that stretched from the base of the building all the way to the top floor, with the top left exposed so people could peer in, downward. The shape of it was oddly nostalgic, reminding Vivienne of when she was a little girl and her parents were at work. Her grandfather would take her to the aquarium, teaching her the names of different animals in Cantonese. She used to run along the curved ramps of the aquarium, following fish as they flitted from one end of the glass tank to the next, until she reached the top and she could gaze down, standing on her tiptoes, wondering what it would feel like to ride the turtles.

This tank was a similar shape, with metal stairs all around the reinforced glass instead of sticky aquarium floors. Where Vivienne used to look into clear, blue tinted waters and see multitudes of coral and fish, however, all there was in the tank was a solid white pillar.

She pressed one hand to the glass, expecting it to be cool. It was hot to the touch - so hot that Vivienne jerked her hand away instinctively.

“This…” Vivienne muttered. “This is the specimen?” She ran, circling the tank. Behind her came the clanging of her companion’s footsteps as she tried to keep up. “How did you transport it here?” she said, half-dazed.

“It bit one of our probes,” Dr. Ng admitted. “We sent a probe down to try to map some of the creatures closer to the sea floor, and it, um… latched on.”

Vivienne reached out, stopping inches away from touching the tank again. “How did you… pull it up?”

“We didn’t know,” said Dr. Ng quietly. “It was really small at first. We pulled up the probe, and there it was. Just this, wriggly little thing. Real cute,” she said with a nervous laugh.

“I mean, the coloration!” she gushed, a smile floating up to her face. She flushed pink, her dark eyes far away and sparkling. “Something that was pure white, that was meant to reflect light, ten kilometers below sea level? We were worried maybe the light would be too much for it, but it didn’t seem to respond at all to different lighting levels. Just pressure. Well, that, and...”

“Feeding,” Vivienne finished softly.

“Yes,” said Dr. Ng, breathless. “It ate everything we gave it. Fish food at first, but then Nicky accidentally dropped one of the grapes they were eating - god, they should not have been eating in the lab - and it snatched it up. And then we thought, hey, what if we fed it other things? It must have been a top predator…”

“But?” Vivienne asked, sensing the hesitation in Dr. Ng’s trailing off.

“But it kept getting bigger,” she continued somberly. “Do you understand, Dr. Zhu? No matter what we fed it, it kept getting bigger.”

Vivienne nodded, recalling the emptied cans labelled potassium cyanide they had passed on their way into this main chamber.

“So why call me in? Sounds like your team would want credit for this find.”

For a moment, the only sound that could be heard was the running of the turbines filtering what little water was left in the tank and the faint hissing of machines straining to keep pressure at deep sea levels. Then, almost imperceptibly, there came a low, haunting, whistling tone.

“Do you hear that, Dr. Zhu?” Dr. Ng asked in a hushed voice.

“Yes.” The word barely left Vivienne’s lips.

“Creepy, isn’t it?”

“Beautiful,” said Vivienne.

The whistling tone continued, just low enough that if she hadn’t been listening, or if she started to think of something else, she would have missed it. It was a sweet and sad chorus, bouncing off the metal of the rails of the walkways encircling the tank, filling the chamber as if expanding, as if taking up the entirety of the tank was not enough, as if nothing would ever be enough until the creature had consumed the vastness of space itself.

“Dr. Zhu?” Dr. Ng interrupted, grabbing Vivienne’s shoulder.

Vivienne whipped her hand off the tank on which it rested, now aching and red. She gasped in pain, holding her wrist as her hand throbbed.

“I’m fine,” Vivienne muttered through gritted teeth. “You didn’t answer my question.”

Dr. Ng looked at her with round eyes and rounded, parted lips. Vivienne hated eyes like that, full of pity and concern. Eyes that once stared back at her from a mirror, decades ago, when Vivienne herself had been a young woman like Dr. Ng.

The whistling was gone now.

“We should leave,” Dr. Ng said slowly. As if she was speaking to a child. Anger rose in Vivienne’s throat, hotter than her quickly scarring hand.

“Answer. My. Question,” Vivienne repeated.

Avoiding Vivienne’s eyes, Dr. Ng finally tucked the loose strand of hair behind her ear. “You’re the leading expert in deep sea parasites. We thought, at first, with the way it would eat everything, maybe that’s what it was. It was only about this big when we called you.” She held her hands about half a meter apart.

“We weren’t feeding it more than a few grams of fish formula a day, but it kept getting bigger, and then,” Dr. Ng paused, taking a deep breath. “One day, we stopped feeding it. Just to see if it would respond, try to tap the glass or whether it had gotten, you know, conditioned. But it just kept getting bigger.”

“A lot of people… Nicky, Felix, Adeline, basically our entire team quit. Burned their hands against the tank the same way you did when it was still small. But the water temperature was always cold to emulate the bottom of the ocean when we checked it. And it was highly improbable that all of them just got careless one day. That just doesn’t happen.”

Vivienne nodded. “Why are you still here, then?”

Dr. Ng looked curiously at Vivienne. “This is my work. I’ve been with this project for three years now, and I couldn’t just quit. Wouldn’t you have done the same?”

Wordlessly, Vivienne nodded.

She turned again, staring at the specimen, the blinding pillar of white that seemed to consume her entire field of vision.

“I started this project thinking I would find something at the bottom of the sea floor. Better document that part of the ocean, you know?” Her words remained soft, but her voice took on a hard tiredness. “I don’t know what I’ll do if it gets bigger.”

When, Vivienne said, but her lips remained sealed.

The whistle tone started once more, reaching and stretching into the air. It struck Vivienne just how tall the observation chamber was, just how wide the radius of the tank, and just how small she and Dr. Ng must have been - mere specks against the mass of white that came from a great unknown.

A tiny cracking noise, rendered inaudible by the specimen’s whistling, accompanied an even smaller webbed crack in the glass of the tank.

#writeblr #horror writing #31 days of horror #original writing #original story #original fiction #horror fiction #deep sea horror #reevie writes #okay this one was quite fun #also very proud of myself for not reusing Viola again lol

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palettepainter · 5 years

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(IMPORTANT UPDATES) Look back at 2019

Big changes for 2020! Hey there everyone! 2019 has come and gone, another year passed and a new chance for me to try and improve myself when the new year starts! As far as I know me and my family don’t have plans to celebrate New Years other then of course spending time together, but I want to post this now just so that it’s out of the way it’s posted and I won’t have to worry about. If I can be honest, 2019 towards the last few months of the year has been a real punch in the face..multiple punches. I’ve broken off connections with people who treated me wrongly in the past, had random breakdowns at school (don’t worry they weren’t seriously bad), had trouble with siblings - it’s been overall, a very up and down year for me, but sadly towards the end and in the running up to Christmas, it was mostly down. But hey, 2020 means the start of a new year and a new chance to grow stronger as a person and an artist!..Seriously though 2020, please be kind to me- As you can probably from what’s in the title, there are going to be a few big changes to my characters and stories going into 2020. I’ve been thinking about this stuff a lot ever since mid August, it’s been something I’ve mentioned to one or two people, but ultimately I had to make the choice. And now with 2019 gone and done and 2020 being the opportunity to start fresh, I think it’s a good time to make these announcements. I understand that this may upset a few of you and yes it is going to make things a bit confusing for my NGAU, but this is my choice and I’m confident that making this choice will lead to me being much more happier with what I make. 🔸I will not be continuing my Zoophobia: Next Generation book series To anyone new who doesn’t know what I mean, Zoophobia: Next Generation was a book series I started back in December 2018, which included my own NG’s and one or two OC’s from the fandoms Zoophobia and Hazbin Hotel. Since the first book the series has since gained a lot of attention on Wattpad, and believe me when I say that I am truly grateful for how much positive attention the series got! It was my first time ever writing something on my own and it felt really special to know so many of you liked what I was doing! But as the series went on, I slowly began to loose my drive to continue writing. This is something I’ve admitted to close friends, but now that I’m older and I’m more aware of errors in writing and certain ways in which writing can be written to be better, I realise that the series isn’t up to my current standards. The story itself isn’t one that I’m proud of, and as my first book series, I feel like I was biting off more then I could chew when I first started writing this series. Ive realised that the story line I had in mind would be too hard to work into both Zoophobia and Hazbin Hotel without me having to make very big changes to either of those fandoms current stories and/or certain characters personalities, and though yes it is my own AU so if I wanted I could change the characters to fit better with my story, but honestly, I don’t want to change the characters. The characters from Zoophobia and HH I absolutely adore and there isn’t much I want changed about them, so I don’t want to alter the characters drastically to the point where they become an entirely different character. The main drive of the story with the main characters didn’t pick up till around the second book, and when I first started writing, the story line wasn’t even finished, I was just going with the flow and linking one thing to the other, hoping people would like it just as much as I did at the time. And lastly, this is probably the biggest reason why I’m no longer going to be continuing the series, but the first couple of chapters of the first book where too heavily inspired by another book series: I don’t want to continue to create something, when I feel as if it’s been too heavily based around someone else’s work. I want to create my own stuff and I feel as though the first book just isn’t that, it’s not my own work, and that’s leaded to me viewing the first book as my least favourite. This means that from now going forward, any events that took place in the book series is now no longer cannon. Some headcannons will be changed and altered due to this, for one Eve’s Headcannon will be changing as she will now most likely be alive in my NGAU now, so the stories I had planned for her such and the stories I already posted are no longer cannon either: I will say also that this also counts for my Eve X Hatchet NG Diego, he will remain cannon and will most likely be alive also. As for the characters that where involved in the books such as Lucy, Maggot and Bumbuss, I’ll figure out what to do with them. I defiantly want to keep Lucy as she was the very first OC I ever made for the Zoophobia fandom that wasn’t a NG, but I’m unsure on what to do with Maggot and Bumbuss. As much as I now don’t enjoy the series, it was fun to write while it lasted, and I cannot stress enough how grateful I am too everyone who ever read, liked, or commented on the series! But from now on, I won’t be returning to the series. I held off on announcing this and the reason it took me so long to decide this was because I didn’t want to leave you guys without a conclusion to the story, the series was only one book away from completion and I didn’t want to cut off the series so close to it being finished. But again, the book series isn’t something I enjoy anymore, so I hope all of you can understand and will hopefully look forward to the further projects I have planned 🔸New books to come Though my main book series will now be ending, I have a lot of ideas for new book series. Since the second and third book I had been having ideas for stories that could take place after the series, and the reason I kept doing the series for as long as I did was because I really wanted to start work on the stories that would take place after the series was finished. One of my goals for the new year is to try and push out more stories and book series for you guys, I feel like I’ve defiantly been lacking in the story department, mostly because I couldn’t find any ideas for illustrations to go with the story, and because I always felt too tired to ever finish any stories or illustrations. None of these story ideas yet have fully scripted out story lines, so far they’re just ideas and until I can get a script done for them, I won’t be starting work on them. I want these books to be as great and they can be, and not only do I want to make something that I can be proud of, but something that you guys will enjoy as much as I do. These ideas are in no particular order, and I haven’t decided if I’ll defiantly be doing all of these just yet, but here are some ideas I’ve had for books/book series for the future: -A book with my NG Box explaining her past before she came to live with Ribbon -A book with my OC Willem and how he discovers another hybrid like himself -Nidra’s story as she grows up to accept a new family, while letting a beloved friend go to persue their own life -Junior reapers: a story/series of stories involving Lotus, Charcoal, Parfait and Rae as they go on a quest to become junior reapers Maybe a MHA + Dragonous story *Dragonous is a Villainous dragon AU created by shabiest (Instagram), I will need to get permission from them if I want to write a book with this AU* Recently I got into My Hero Academia, and you can all blame that on my cousin When I first saw the series I kinda rolled my eyes at it, I’ve never really been a big anime fan the style never grabbed me when I was younger: and all I can say is that I should defiantly have given the series a try sooner MHA is a series I’ve come too really enjoy and love, I love the characters the story the dialogue, everything about this show! I’ve said this before but what I love about the show is how it’s great at showing us a large range of characters without straying too far from the main plot, and how this show makes me feel: there have been times where this show has had me emotionally frustrated, sad and happy, and if a show or a movie can make me feel a powerful emotion (angry sad or other), then I’m down for it. I’ve since made a few OC’s for the fandom, and I’ve been thinking about making a book about it. It’s not scripted out yet, and some of my ideas play into some events in season 4 - but if you guys enjoy MHA and you enjoy my OC’s, please let me know your thoughts! And Dragonous, a Villanious AU I’ve come to adore! I’ve always been a big fan of dragons, they where my favourite mythical creature growing up! (And still are to this day), with the creators permission I’d like to create a book with the few OC’s I’ve made, this one may not happen because again I need permission, but tell me your thoughts! Merch Again, something I’ve mentioned before, and something I’ve been really wanting to do! Me and my dad have made a shirt design with one of my OC’s, so far it’s only black and white (we’ve decided to go simple black and white since it’s my first time making merch), and hopefully if all goes well we can start to make more colourful merch However this all depends on you guys: I may be opening up commissions in the future, though I can’t say when, but this will depend on you: I have a PayPal and a KoFi if you guys wish to support me and my work (no pressure though!), every little bit counts and it would mean so much to me if you guys would consider supporting me and my work, even if it’s something as small as a pound! 🔸Collabs/art trades/design trades/RP’s There’s nothing really big to say about these things, but I have decided that from now on that I will only do these kinds of things with close friends.

Finally, I want to say a big BIG thank you to everyone who has stuck around on this crazy train ride to support me. This year as I said at the beginning, has not been the best for me towards the end, and I am so grateful to all the support you guys gave me. I know that I'm not very good with replying to comments/messages, and I'm so sorry if I never got round to replying to your message or comment, but I do read the comments, I do see the wonderful things you guys say, and it's absolutely delightful to see the nice things you guys say! I want to give a big big BIG thank you to these wonderful people who have been there for me, whether it was to geek out over a show to if they where there for me when I needed support: @hazbinextgeneration - You've been an amazing pal right from the beginning, you where one of the very first people I met when I first got into the Zoophobia and HH fandom and you've been an absolute gem! You've been there for me when I was down and you've listened through out all of my nerd outs about characters and shows, and to have someone listen to me meant so much! You comment on nearly every piece of my work and you're always so kind and giving! Not only to me but to so many others! You've made me a lot and fanart and I'm sorry I don't nearly do enough for you in return, going into 2020, I want to change that! @cosmic-artzz - If you hadn't been there to listen to me and help me out, I honestly don't know what kind of situation I would be in now. You helped me cut off ties with people I honestly wasn't happy talking with, and despite being dragged into my drama over and over again, you where still there to listen to both sides of the argument and give advice on how I could make things better. You've always been a delight to talk to and I'm so happy we had the chance to become friends! I'm so sorry you get dragged into my troubles as much as you did dude! Going into 2020, I promise you I'll be more confident in putting my foot down when I feel as though I'm not being treated fairly! And lastly, I want to thank all of you! For sticking with me on this crazy journey! Here's to 2020 and hoping its a wonderful year!!

#Goodbye 2019!#Ready for 2020

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the-blackholeus · 5 years

Text

You saved me, so I return the favor. (TMNT2016 Shredder X Reader) Part 2

(For all Krang lovers, I’m sorry^^. I love this slimy alien myself, and he is my favorite character next to Shredder in the TMNT series.)

Male:

Pain...insufferable pain...that was the only thing he felt right now. Every nerve in his body burned like he was on fire, and he felt like his blood was acid. Shredder moaned in pure agony as another syringe was interjected, and he felt the liquid mixing with his blood. Nausea rose in his stomach as he pressed his eyelids together, trying to ignore that cruel laugh that came from the creature before him.

Krang licked over his lips as he pulled the little needle back and let some drops fall to the floor. “Aw, what’s wrong, Shredder? Is the pain too much to bear?”, the brain-like warlord asked and wiped the saliva from his plump lip, letting it drop to the floor with a sickening sound, not really helping with the human’s nausea problem.

“Y-You bastard!”, he gasped out, trying his best to swallow the acid of his stomach that traveled up his throat. “W-When I get out of here, I will…”

The alien interrupted him with a harsh slap on his cheek, laughing cruelly as he did so. “You’re not going anywhere, puny little earthling. You are nothing more than my test-object, and even if you would manage to get free, you’re so full of substances, you won’t get far.”

Again, he licked his lips and patted his naked shoulder, before retracted himself into the robot-suit he has repaired, leaving the room, but before he closed the door, his voice echoed through the room one last time. “And I will be finished with you soon anyway, Oroku Saki!”

The human let out a week sounding growl, feeling how the burning liquid ran with his blood through his whole body and let him know where all veins he possessed were. His head fell back, hitting the hard surface of the wall, closing his eyes, trying to distract himself for the sake of his sanity. The first thing he could think of was Y/N, the man he saved from a rapist a while ago.

He didn’t know why he did it, but he was glad. The memory of the young man who talked to him like a person and not like a monster, the knowledge that someone accepted him as a man was good for his already twisted mind and helped him through that heartless torture that insane alien put him through.

A week after Krang had suffered a humiliating defeat, he had freed him and started to use him as a test subject for all those liquids in his laboratory, may it be healing potions or poison…everything was tested on him.

He had lost count of how many times he tried to force himself to throw up, but that twisted warlord had already foreseen that possibility and injected something that made it impossible.

On some days, it wasn’t so bad, but in others, it just burned like acid was thrown on and inside him…and today was one of them.

But if it was only that this insane thing was using him for. He, too, lost count of creatures he had already fought against.

Every time Krang wanted to know how what creatures he could use to take over planet earth, he let him fight against one of his “prizes” he got when he overthrew other dimensions. He survived but got plenty of new scars.

Hours of pure suffering passed until Krang finally returned, a grin on his slimy face. “Hello, my dear earthling”, he purred and forced him to look at him. “Did you have fun?”

“Y-You sick…l-little.”, the human tried to curse him, but his words got stuck in his throat. He had no strength left, he was trained, and his muscular body felt like he was just pushed into a fire that burned him alive. “What was that? I’m afraid I can’t hear you!”,

The warlord laughed…but it soon turned into a serious face.

Oh, no…what is coming now?

“I have run out of tests, Shredder. And you know what this means, do you?” He gave no response, and just glared at the brain-like creature before him, his eyes hard, his face impassive, but on the inside, he was practically melting with fear.

“No, of course not, your pathetic little creature! Don’t worry, I didn’t expect that much of you!”, Krang laughed and wrapped one of his tentacles around his neck, squeezing it just enough for him to cut off his airway.

“You’ve exhausted your usefulness to me, little human! I’ve got no reason to keep you now, and that means it’s time for me to take out the trash!”

The warlord laughed and released his neck, causing him to cough. Nausea grabbed him, and he gagged a few times before it finally stilled, wincing as his stomach cramped and stung like it was impaled with little knives.

“W-What a-are you going to do right now, you insane b-bubble gum!”, he rasped and spit blood out of his mouth, that an open lip has filled up. “K-Kill me? Then g-go on, if you thi-think I am scared of d-death, t-then you are w-wrong!”

The older male merely laughed at him and slapped his shoulders. “No, my dear Shredder, I’m not going to kill you, I’ve got to save my strength for other things. I rather thought about just dropping you in the middle of New York, bleeding, suffering and left to die. And with what you did, I doubt that anyone who finds you will save you.”

Krang, again, released a hoarse laugh and injected something in the human’s veins. In a few seconds, Shredder knew no more…

---

Pain…pain, so much pain. Everything on his body was on fire. Shredder groaned as he regained consciousness, slowly opening his eyes, but his vision was more than just blurry.

The only thing he knew was that he was somewhere barely lit. He tried to roll over, but he couldn’t even move, he could even barely breathe.

He coughed and tasted a familiar liquid on his tongue. Blood, and not a little. He felt as it ran out of his mouth and down his face, and his ears caught the sound of the drops hitting the surface he laid on.

He closed his eyes again and tried to relax, hoping that death or at least the comforting darkness would come soon to claim him.

But suddenly, he heard something…were those sounds steps? Yes, they were. Fast footsteps that seemed to approach him. Hope suddenly bloomed in his chest, but just as fast as it came, it disappeared, and Krangs words suddenly echoed through his mind. With a pang, he realized that the warlord was right. Who would help him?

Only people from his clan would, but he doubted that they would be there. They didn’t even know that he was alive. They were probably hiding somewhere and won’t come out until its safe. Damn cowards!! It was probably just some random man or woman who was walking by and has spotted his body on the floor.

The steps stopped, and the breathing of the person hitched, and it was that moment that he knew that they had recognized him and was probably going to call the police.

A few moments passed, and he only waited for their voice telling the cops that he was here, but there was only silence. Then, suddenly, the stranger started to walk again.

He felt a hand touching his shoulders and turn him to what he guessed could only be his direction and something soft wiped away the blood that was already starting to dry.

“Saki…”

That voice…

That beautiful voice…

Y/N, he thought, and his eyes opened. He stared at the blur that faced him and opened his mouth to call for help, but all that came out was blood and saliva. “N-No…don't talk. R-Rest. I-I will call someone…”The grip on his shoulder tightened and he saw how the blur, that was the one he saved a while ago, sat down next to him.

Shredder wanted to make a sound of protest, but he couldn’t, the only thing that he could do was to widen his eyes, but he was sure that the young man didn’t notice.

“Hello, Andrew!?”, he heard the soft voice. “Yeah, I know, it’s in the middle of the night, but I need you to do me a favor. Listen, I found a friend of mine here in the park near my house, and something’s wrong with him. He can’t move, can’t talk and coughs blood.

Five minutes? Good, bye. Oh, another thing…please don’t call the police! I’ll explain everything when he’s okay.”

The Ninja felt the warm hand slip up to his face, the blurry frame of the young man he had saved leaned over him, and he felt the warm breathing hitting his face. “My friend’s coming, he’s a doctor. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure he won’t call the cops. You’re safe, trust me!”

Shredder just coughed, spitting blood, before closing his eyes, resting against the person that was now saving him. He said his friend was coming, and that he was a doctor, so a little rest until he arrived wouldn’t hurt…right?

---

“Is h....g...ng to b...al….t?”, he heard a voice ask as the darkness around him slowly faded and pulled him back into the world of awareness. “Y..”, came as just as blurry answer. He recognized a different voice, but he couldn’t make out more, he felt too exhausted. “H...n… a lot of r…”

He groaned as he slowly moved his right arm to his forehead and began to rub the sweated skin with his scarred fingers, trying his best to ease the burning headache. On his hardest, he tried to remember what happened. The last thing Shredder could recall was lying in the park, unable to move, chocking on his own blood.

Suddenly, warm fingers wrapped around his hands and began to massage his knuckles. Slowly, he began to open his eyes, staring at the beautiful face of the man…Y/N. A small smile came across his scarred lips as he did so. The kind human gave him one in return and whispered, “Good morning, Saki.”

His smile vanished as another man leaned over him and eyed him with a stern expression. Careful, he reached down and shone with some sort of flashlight right into his pupils, before retreating and walking away.

“His eyes show no abnormal activities, but I’ll keep an eye on him for the next few days just to be sure.” “When will I be able to get him home?”, he heard Y/N ask and looked over to the older man.

“Three or four days. We almost lost him yesterday after all.”, he answered and came into view again, holding a bandage. “Those need a change once a day, and you’ll have to help him to walk. He’s really weak.”

Shredder would have laughed if his whole body didn’t burn like he just bathed in acid. He could feel that he had barely the strength to hold himself awake, there’s no need to rub that into his face.

“He’ll probably sleep a lot, but don’t worry, that’s normal.” Y/N nodded and squeezed his hand before smiling down at him with a kindness that made his cold heart melt.

Never in his life had someone cared for him as much as the younger male did, not even his mother.

“Hey, Saki.”, the man he saved spoke in a soft tune and ran his fingers through his hair, which was still wet from sweat. He made a small noise in response and gave another weak smile.

“I’m glad you’re awake. We almost lost you yesterday, you know?”, he said, and again, traced his knuckles. “You’re probably tired, aren’t you?” Shredder nodded and gave a small groan as harsh pain shot through his neck.

“Well then, rest. I’ll be there when you wake up.” Without skipping a beat, Shredder listened and closed his eyes, falling asleep within a minute.

---

The days passed quicker than the man could have believed.

He was sitting in his room, a book that Y/N had brought him yesterday, in his hands. The door opened, and he turned his attention from the story to the young man, who entered, and smiled as he closed it behind him.

“Hello, Saki!”, he greeted and walked over to him, sitting down next to the bed. “Greetings Y/N.”, he chuckled, and laid the book down on his lab, getting into a more comfortable position. “I’ve already expected you to come.”

“So, tell me, how are you feeling today?” Saki chuckled, running his fingers through his hair. “Quite well, thank you. How about yourself?” The younger smiled. “Oh, I’m good.”

“Today is the day.”, the Shredder mumbled and sat up. “Today is the day I finally leave this goddamn place.” Y/N nodded, a wide smile on his face. “Yeah. I can imagine that you’re happy. Two days ago, you couldn’t even walk, and yesterday, you already ran through the gardens without any problems. It's really surprising how well and fast you're healing.”

Saki chuckled, the smile not leaving his scarred lips. “Yes, and that all thanks to you. If you hadn’t called your friend, I wouldn’t be alive now. You had the choice to let me die, and yet, you saved me and considering my past, I would have deserved to bleed out.”

“No.”, Y/N suddenly argued and grabbed his wrist, pulling his hand up to his face. Saki understood and took his cheek into his palm, stroking over the s/c skin. “You don’t. You might be the Shredder, but you’re not as bad as people say.” The older man’s eyes widened. “Y-You know?”, he asked, quite shocked that he was still sitting so calmly next to him.

“Yeah. The morning after you left, the TV reported that you broke free from prison. I was quite surprised and hoped to see you soon so that you could answer some questions, but as you didn’t come, I decided to search for you. You’re a criminal, so I figured that you would roam through the streets at night. When I found you in the park, I was shocked, and scared you wouldn’t make it.”

The younger man sighed and pressed his face even closer into his palm. “I was so glad that the doctor said that you were going to survive.” “You’re full of surprises.”, Saki whispered and stroked over the soft skin.

“So are you. You saved me, a stranger that had no use to you, from a disgusting guy like R/N and I returned the favor.” Saki couldn’t help but laugh heartily, pulling the smaller/taller man into a hug. “You’re an even kinder soul than I imagined.”

---

“Saki, I’m home!”, a soft voice called into the room, causing the ninja to turn his head to the direction of the source. A small smile came across his scarred lips as he spotted Y/N, who just closed the door that led to the kitchen behind him.

“Hello, my love. How was your day?”, he greeted back, and walked up to him, lifting his hand to close it around his neck, pulling him into a quick kiss on the lips. “It was good, but a lot of work of course.”, was the response as he pulled back.

“What is that wonderful smell?” Saki hummed and smiled as he walked over to the food he cooked. “Well, the week’s over, and you’re finally home. I have taken this weekend off so we can finally spend some time together, starting with dinner.”

“Awesome!”, Y/N laughed and threw his jacket over one of the chairs, before sitting down on it. “What did you make?” “F/F (Favorite Food) of course.”, he bowed and opened the drawer to take two plates out of it when a stabbing pain suddenly ran through his body.

He hissed out as he shot up and grabbed his chest, rubbing the aching spot and felt how the bandages underneath his shirt moved with his fingers. “Saki! Are you alright?!”, the younger man cried out in shock and jumped off his seat. A few seconds passed before the expression of pain finally left his face.

Y/N hugged him, pressing his body tightly against his. “Yes. I’m okay. It’s just that blasted wound again.” He sighed in relief when the pain passed completely.

After a few weeks – in which they became lovers – he had left the hospital, he collapsed again. The doctors, who stayed silent after a grand payment coming from Karai, who had become Y/N’s best friend after she had heard that he had saved her master, found out, that his body had slowed aging. One year felt for his body felt like a half year and the process of that “slowing down” was incredibly painful.

After one year, it had become bearable for the ninja, but when he gets injured, as he had a week ago when he fought against a few people of his clan so that his muscles could claim the strength that they once had back, it would hurt far more.

The Food-Clans scientists said that the change was not yet complete, and wounds would hurt far more until it was. It would pass soon, they said. The young man wasn’t sure if he could trust them, but he kept his eyes on his lover anyway. He even moved into the ninja master’s personal quarters.

Saki pulled back, kissed Y/N’s forehead and patted his shoulders. “Don’t worry, I am alright. I just needed a second. And now sit down. I didn’t waste my whole afternoon for the dinner to get cold!”, he laughed, and pushed his lover towards the table, before bowing to the drawer yet again. This time, the pain decided to leave him alone.

He put the food onto the plates, and walked over to the table, setting it down in front of you before taking the seat himself, and they started to eat. Saki’s dark eyes stared at his lover’s face the whole time while said human literally devoured the food, a sign that he hadn’t eaten all day, a small smile on his scarred face. “Mmmh! This is so good!”, he shouted when he was done, and the older man couldn’t help but laugh at his behavior.

“Thank you, my love.”, he chuckled after he had swallowed the last bite. “You’re awesome!” Y/N grinned brightly at him and reached out for the scarred hand, to which he complied. “Same to you. Without you, I would not be here today and rotting away in a cell or in a grave instead.”

“Yeah, but you saved me too. How knows what R/N would have done to me if you didn’t show up. I don’t even want to think about it.” He lifted his hands to his scarred lips and kissed the back of it with his soft, warm lips.

“So, enough talking. I don’t want to darken the mood. Do you want a dessert?”, he asked, and a grin slowly formed on lips. He mirrored it. “It depends on what it is...or which dessert you mean?” He chuckled and rose his eyebrow. “And which one do you want?”, he asked, even though he already knew the answer.

Y/N chuckled and stood up, walking over to the older man, his hand never leaving the other. “You know exactly which one, you bastard.”, he hissed before grabbing his strong shoulder and pulling the smaller/taller body up for a kiss. “Indeed I do.”, he mumbled against his lips.

They kissed yet again, much harder this time, their tongues fighting for dominance. What they failed to notice, however, was that Karai, who had a key to the private quarters and needed some sort of decision for something the young man didn’t want to be involved in, was standing in the doorframe, a surprised look on her face, which turned into a soft smile when after she watched them making out for a second.

Very slowly, she retreated, careful not make a sound. She didn’t want to disturb those two love birds. She turned, walked out of the quarters and along the halls, and when she was out of ear reach, she began to laugh.

Female:

“Y-You bastard!”, he gasped out, trying his best to swallow the acid of his stomach that traveled up his throat. “W-When I get out of here, I will…”

Again, he licked his lips and patted his naked shoulder before retracted himself into the robot-suit he has repaired, leaving the room, but before he closed the door, his voice echoed through the room one last time. “And I will be finished with you soon anyway, Oroku Saki!”

The human let out a week sounding growl, feeling how the burning liquid ran with his blood through his whole body and let him know where all veins he possessed were. His head fell back, hitting the hard surface of the wall, he closed his eyes, trying to distract himself for the sake of his sanity. The first thing he could think of was Y/N, the woman he saved from a rapist a while ago.

He didn’t know why he did it, but he was glad. The memory of the young woman who talked to him like a person and not like a monster, the knowledge that someone accepted him as a man was good for his already twisted mind and helped him through that heartless torture that insane alien put him through.

He had lost count of how many times he tried to force himself to throw up, but that twisted warlord had already foreseen that possibility and injected something that made it impossible.

On some days, it wasn’t so bad, but in others, it just burned like acid was thrown on and inside him…and today was one of them.

But if it was only that this insane thing was using him for. He, too, lost count of creatures he had already fought against.

Hours of pure suffering passed until Krang finally returned, a grin on his slimy face. “Hello, my dear earthling”, he purred and forced him to look at him. “Did you have fun?”

The warlord laughed…but it soon turned into a serious face.

Oh, no…what is coming now?

“You’ve exhausted your usefulness to me, little human! I’ve got no reason to keep you now, and that means it’s time for me to take out the trash!”

Krang, again, released a hoarse laugh and injected something in the human’s veins. In a few seconds, Shredder knew no more…

---

Pain…pain, so much pain. Everything on his body was on fire. Shredder groaned as he regained consciousness, slowly opening his eyes, but his vision was more than just blurry.

The only thing he knew was that he was somewhere barely lit. He tried to roll over, but he couldn’t even move, he could even barely breathe.

He closed his eyes again and tried to relax, hoping that death or at least the comforting darkness would come soon to claim him.

The steps stopped, and the breathing of the person hitched, and it was that moment that he knew that they had recognized him and was probably going to call the police.

A few moments passed, and he only waited for their voice telling the cops that he was here, but there was only silence. Then, suddenly, the stranger started to walk again.

He felt a hand touching his shoulders and turn him to what he guessed could only be his direction and something soft wiped away the blood that was already starting to dry.

“Saki…”

That voice…

That beautiful voice…

Shredder wanted to make a sound of protest, but he couldn’t, the only thing that he could do was to widen his eyes, but he was sure that the young woman didn’t notice.

Five minutes? Good, bye. Oh, another thing…please don’t call the police! I’ll explain everything when he’s okay.”

The Ninja felt the warm hand slip up to his face, the blurry frame of the young woman he had saved leaned over him, and he felt the warm breathing hitting his face. “My friend’s coming, he’s a doctor. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure he won’t call the cops. You’re safe, trust me!”

Shredder just coughed, spitting blood, before closing his eyes, resting against the person that was now saving him. She said her friend was coming, and that he was a doctor, so a little rest until he arrived wouldn’t hurt…right?

---

Suddenly, warm fingers wrapped around his hands and began to massage his knuckles. Slowly, he began to open his eyes, staring at the beautiful face of the woman…Y/N. A small smile came across his scarred lips as he did so. The kind human gave him one in return and whispered, “Good morning, Saki.”

His smile vanished as another man leaned over him and eyed him with a stern expression. Carefully, he reached down and shone with some sort of flashlight right into his pupils, before retreating and walking away.

“He’ll probably sleep a lot, but don’t worry, that’s normal.” Y/N nodded and squeezed his hand before smiling down at him with a kindness that made his cold heart melt.

Never in his life had someone cared for him as much as the younger female did, not even his mother.

“Hey, Saki.”, the woman he saved spoke in a soft tune and ran her fingers through his hair, which was still wet from sweat. He made a small noise in response and gave another weak smile.

“I’m glad you’re awake. We almost lost you yesterday, you know?”, she said, and again, traced his knuckles. “You’re probably tired, aren’t you?” Shredder nodded and gave a small groan as harsh pain shot through his neck.

“Well then, rest. I’ll be there when you wake up.” Without skipping a beat, Shredder listened and closed his eyes, falling asleep within a minute.

---

The days passed quicker than the man could have believed.

He was sitting in his room, a book that Y/N had brought him yesterday, in his hands. The door opened, and he turned his attention from the story to the young woman who entered and smiled as she closed it behind her.

“Hello, Saki!”, she greeted and walked over to him, sitting down next to the bed. “Greetings Y/N.”, he chuckled, and laid the book down on his lab, getting into a more comfortable position. “I’ve already expected you to come.”

“So, tell me, how are you feeling today?” Saki chuckled, running his fingers through his hair. “Quite well, thank you. How about yourself?” The younger smiled. “Oh, I’m good.”

“Today is the day.”, the Shredder mumbled and sat up. “Today is the day I finally leave this goddamn place.” Y/N nodded, a wide smile on her face. “Yeah. I can imagine that you’re happy. Two days ago, you couldn’t even walk, and yesterday, you already ran through the gardens without any problems. It's really surprising how well and fast you're healing.”

“No.”, Y/N suddenly argued and grabbed his wrist, pulling his hand up to her face. Saki understood and took her cheek into his palm, stroking over the s/c skin. “You don’t. You might be the Shredder, but you’re not as bad as people say.” The older man’s eyes widened. “Y-You know?”, he asked, quite shocked that she was still sitting so calmly next to him.

The younger woman sighed and pressed her face even closer into his palm. “I was so glad that the doctor said that you were going to survive.” “You’re full of surprises.”, Saki whispered and stroked over the soft skin.

“So are you. You saved me, a stranger that had no use to you, from a disgusting guy like R/N and I returned the favor.” Saki couldn’t help but laugh heartily, pulling the smaller/taller woman into a hug. “You’re an even kinder soul than I imagined.”

---

“Hello, my love. How was your day?”, he greeted back, and walked up to her, lifting his hand to close it around her neck, pulling her into a quick kiss on the lips. “It was good, but a lot of work of course.”, was the response as she pulled back.

“Awesome!”, Y/N laughed and threw the jacket over one of the chairs, before sitting down on it. “What did you make?” “F/F (Favorite Food) of course.”, he bowed and opened the drawer to take two plates out of it when a stabbing pain suddenly ran through his body.

He hissed out as he shot up and grabbed his chest, rubbing the aching spot and felt how the bandages underneath his shirt moved with his fingers. “Saki! Are you alright?!”, the younger woman cried out in shock and jumped off her seat. A few seconds passed before the expression of pain finally left his face.

Y/N hugged him, pressing her body tightly against his. “Yes. I’m okay. It’s just that blasted wound again.” He sighed in relief when the pain passed completely.

After a few weeks – in which they became lovers – he had left the hospital, he collapsed again. The doctors, who stayed silent after a grand payment coming from Karai, who had become Y/N’s best friend after she had heard that she had saved her master, found out, that his body had slowed aging. One year felt for his body felt like a half year and the process of that “slowing down” was incredibly painful.

The Food-Clans scientists said that the change was not yet complete, and wounds would hurt far more until it was. It would pass soon, they said. The young woman wasn’t sure if she could trust them, but he kept her eyes on her lover anyway. She even moved into the ninja master’s personal quarters.

Saki pulled back, kissed Y/N’s forehead and patted her shoulders. “Don’t worry, I am alright. I just needed a second. And now sit down. I didn’t waste my whole afternoon for the dinner to get cold!”, he laughed, and pushed his lover towards the table, before bowing to the drawer yet again. This time, the pain decided to leave him alone.

He put the food onto the plates, and walked over to the table, setting it down in front of her before taking the seat himself, and they started to eat. Saki’s dark eyes stared at his lover’s face the whole time while said human literally devoured the food, a sign that she hadn’t eaten all day, a small smile on his scarred face. “Mmmh! This is so good!”, she shouted when she was done, and the older man couldn’t help but laugh at her behavior.

“Yeah, but you saved me too. How knows what R/N would have done to me if you didn’t show up. I don’t even want to think about it.” He lifted her hands to his scarred lips and kissed the back of it with his soft, warm lips.

“So, enough talking. I don’t want to darken the mood. Do you want a dessert?”, he asked, and a grin slowly formed on lips. She mirrored it. “It depends on what it is...or which dessert you mean?” He chuckled and rose his eyebrow. “And which one do you want?”, he asked, even though he already knew the answer.

Y/N chuckled and stood up, walking over to the older man, her hand never leaving the other. “You know exactly which one, you bastard.”, she hissed before grabbing his strong shoulders and pulling the smaller/taller body up for a kiss. “Indeed I do.”, he mumbled against her lips.

Part 1

#tmnt 2016 #Brian Tee! Shredder #Shredder x reader #krang #male reader #female reader #tmnt out of the shadows

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almostrealdudes · 5 years

Text

The Heat (Peter Parker x fem!S/O)

A/N: You guys are insane! Thank you for all the messages and replies I’ve been crazy happy for the last two days! Also, 1k subs??? stfu this is mental! Thank you all for subscribing, im absolutely thrivingggg thank you for reading my pieces, for leaving likes and comments, and for joining the almostrealfam <3 I am hereby posting the second part of Heat. Get horny on main, my dudes!! Pairing: Peter Parker x fem!S/O Word count: 2k, strap in Warnings: SMUT SMUT and SMUT. As NSFW as it gets, you better sit down

PART 1

In a desperate need to catch a taxi, she literally threw herself in front of a car, urging it to stop. Getting an inviting gesture from the driver, she jumped inside on the passenger seat and spat out the address.

“Go go go, please, I need to get there as fast as possible,” she babbled, opening her chat with Peter and starting to type rapidly.

“Geez, what’s the hurry?” the driver asked, turning his wheel and merging with the car flow.

oh my god

“My boyfriend is in trouble,” she said, shaking nervously.

oh my god peter im so sorry

im omw

“He needs me,” she said quitter, finishing her last message.

please hang in there im coming

“Sorry to hear that,” said the driver, throwing a quick look at her, “but it’s rush hour, lady. I’ll try to get you there as fast as I can, but your boy chose the worst time to be in trouble. No offense.”

“None taken. It’s on me. I should’ve known it was about to happen, but I completely forgot.” Her leg was shaking in a nervous tick as she watched the road lights change from red to green, hoping they’ll make it through the next one.

“My, what is it with your boy?”

“He has a… condition,” her cheeks flushed red. She imagined Peter’s possible state, all hot and bothered, unwillingly edging himself, desperate for human contact. For contact with her. She pressed her thighs closer together. The situation, although alarming, was extremely arousing at the same time.

“A condition? Is it dangerous?”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, you know… is it lethal?” asked the driver nonchalantly, taking another turn.

“Oh god, no! God, I hope it’s not!” her eyes grew bigger as she let the frightful thoughts enter her mind. She heard her phone beep, notifying her of a new message, making her heart beat even faster than it already was. She opened the chat again.

please hurry

its bad

“Ah. See? I told you. Rush hour.”

She looked up to see a wall of red lights in front of her. All the cars were frozen in place, all the rows were stuck dead until the very end of the road, which was pretty far away. She pressed her lips tightly together. This won’t do. It will take her forever to get home if she continues like this.

She had to run.

“You know what? I’ve got this from here.”

She took out the money and slammed it onto the car dash, unbuckling her seatbelt and quickly getting out of the car.

“Hey! Careful, you punk!”

It was the last thing she could remotely hear her driver say before she took off. To say she ran fast would be a huge understatement. Never in her life has she run as fast as she was running now. Gladly, they managed to make some progress on the road, and the apartment was not as far away. Checking the time, she maneuvered through the crowd, getting gradually closer. When she could see her building at the end of the street, she picked up the pace as if seeing the finish line at a marathon. At the front door, she tried to dial the entrance code, making mistakes thrice, because her shaking fingers kept missing the right buttons. After hearing the buzz, she flew into the main hall and rushed up the stairs, getting the keys out of the bag in advance. Finally, at the apartment door, she started going through all the keys with her shaking fingers, struggling to find the right one. Mailbox, office, parent’s house… there, the apartment key. She shoved it in and turned until a click, smashing the door open.

Peter couldn’t move a muscle. All the energy was going from all the parts of his body straight into his cock, which was glowing from how red, swollen, and tense it was. Peter has never felt worse in his life: it was a feeling of constant, unflagging, ongoing edging. His body was in an insufferable pre-orgasmic state, and Peter’s mind was going absolutely insane from all the hours of denied relief. He was crying, letting out desperate sobs, unable to take it anymore. His hand was fixated around his shaft, pumping it without pause for god knows how long, without any results.

When the door was thrown open, he thought he was hallucinating. But then, a strong, wild, dizzying smell filled the apartment, making Peter’s body shudder in anticipation. It was perfume, sweat, and her natural scent, which made the veins on his length pulsate with renewed vigor. He moaned, inhaling every last bit of it, its hints stimulating every living inch of his body.

The state of him was heartbreaking. But god how extremely sexual it was: Peter’s body, covered in sweat and precum, twirling and quivering in wrinkled sheets, his cock squeezed tightly in his hand, leaking from his hyperarousal. Her folds clenched at the view, leaking from the mere thought of his pulsating cock inside her.

And fuck did he feel it. Her presence in the room after hours of sexual solitude felt like a whole new world of sensations. He could smell her fluids slowly soaking her underwear, he could feel the heat coming from between her legs and it drove him absolutely crazy.

“Oh, Peter,” she said quietly, astounded.

“Ple-ease,” he sobbed, “I—I—I ca-an’t, I—”

“Yes, yes, Peter, I got you, I got you,” she mumbled, quickly undressing completely and climbing onto the bed. She was afraid to touch him first, it could worsen the situation. So she loomed over his cock, positioning herself more comfortably. Peter could feel the time slow down as she was slowly lowering her head to his member. He could feel all of it: the heat coming from her parted lips, the wetness inside her mouth. His own mouth opened in anticipation, saliva dripping from the corners. And then, her lips covered his tip and Peter screamed. His hips immediately jerked up, desperate for her to take him in deeper. She quickly complied, having no intention in torturing him and took his entire length in one motion.

“A-a-ah!” Peter threw his head back, into the cupboard, his hands grabbed at his hair, simultaneously covering his face. His head was spinning. Rushing to relief him, she moved her head quickly up and down his entire member, her tongue flickering his tip. Peter’s body got immensely tense as he shuddered, raising his hips higher, gravitating towards the heat behind her lips. Then, she brought her hand closer and cupped his balls, squeezing them lightly, and Peter absolutely lost it. Screaming her name, his back arched and his hips bucked into her mouth as he unleashed a thick spurt of cum down her throat, his entire body trembling.

She made an attempt to swallow, but Peter released so much it started spilling from her mouth, down his cock, and onto the sheets, as she continued to suck him through his orgasm. By the time he stopped ejaculating, all she could think about was how overwhelmingly wet she was: her pussy was dripping all over the already wet bed.

Peter’s cock was still rock hard, even after the blowjob. Hours of him lying on the edge of orgasm without achieving it led to a lot of unleashed sex drive and sperm, which had to be released in more than one go. She looked up at him, wiping her lips. Peter’s breath was heavy, he was looking at her through the daze in his eyes, completely disoriented. She started to slowly make her way up his body, her breasts accidentally caressing his tip. Peter whimpered, his cock spasming from the sensation. Even after orgasm, he was still immensely sensitive. She slipped her hands up his torso, her body gently sliding against his, making Peter moan shakily. He was flaming hot, his body felt like an open fire, few degrees higher and it would actually burn her skin.

She positioned herself above him, her pussy inches from his cock. It was magnetizing, drops of lube were dripping on his tip, and it made Peter’s body shiver. Locking her gaze with his, she parted her outer lips with her fingers and slowly slid down his length with sloshing sounds, mewling from the feeling of Peter inside her. She could feel his cock pulsating and it made her walls clench around him harder.

“Oh g-god,” Peter sobbed, his hands raising to find hers and intertwine their fingers. “Ple-ase, mo-ve, a-ah, please please ple-ase.”

She let out a trembling breath and started grinding her hips against his lap, parting her lips from the sense of flaming friction. Peter’s hands squeezed her own tighter, and she raised them up to the sides of his head to fixate him. His cock was never huger, it must’ve been from the long waiting in heat. It was tearing her apart, spreading her walls. She moaned with her mouth open, saliva dripping onto his chest. Peter leaned in and smashed his lips against hers in a sloppy kiss, their teeth clashing. “I’m so-sorry,” her voice was lewd and jumpy from the thrusts, “I’m—a-ah!”

Regaining some strength, Peter removed his hands and squeezed her waist tightly and started slamming her down onto his cock in aiding motions, his hips jerking up for additional impact. She cried, licking and biting at Peter’s neck, sobbing into his ear.

“So good, so-o go-od, yes yes ye-s,” she praised him, tears spilling from her eyes. She lifted herself up a bit so she could see Peter’s face, their noses touching. Peter’s face was red, veins pumping on his forehead.

“I wa-anted it f-for so lo-ng,” Peter sobbed, losing his breath, “it feels so-o good, so good.”

He repositioned himself and began to pin her down with renewed force, his hips smashing into her from beneath. The tip of his cock was pounding into her cervix, making her stick her tongue out in ecstasy.

“Don’t stop don’t stop don’t stop,” her voice got higher with every word as her body twisted, anticipating release. Peter groaned, his fingers digging into her hips.

“I’m gonna cum gonna cum,” he breathed shakily, raising his head and caressing her lips with his.

Moments before the high, she started choking from the thrusting force. She threw her head back, her eyes rolled in the back of her head, and she screamed Peter’s name, slammed into her orgasm. She proceeded to jump on Peter’s lap rapidly, riding through her orgasm and mewling from overstimulation, seeing Peter’s tense face as he reached the same edge he’s been on for the last four hours at least. From one of the thrusts, her folds clenched tightly around Peter’s length and he cried, arching his back, pressing his head into the cupboard, hit with the strongest heat orgasm he’s ever had. His vision went black as he covered his face with his arms, shivering with all his muscles. She lied powerlessly on his chest, his cock still inside her, having no strength to get off it.

Letting a few quiet sobs, Peter went quiet, his breath gradually becoming steady.

“Peter,” she whispered. Not receiving any reaction in response, she raised her head a bit. “Peter. You okay?”

“Huh? Yeah,” he croaked, barely able to speak. “I think I passed out.”

She chuckled. “Let’s not forget about the heat again, yeah?”

Peter chuckled tiredly in return. “Yeah.”

She gained her strength and got up from his cock. There was so much sperm, it began to spill down her inner thighs. Peter opened his eyes and moaned quietly.

“Oh no, please cover yourself,” he said, covering his eyes.

“Hm?” She tilted her head in question.

“I can’t look at you,” he said, covering his face with a pillow.

“What? Why?”

“Because I’m about to have a boner, and I’m not ready for another one of those for like, another week.”

She looked down and, realizing what he was talking about, quickly pulled a bed sheet, covering the lower part of her body. Smiling, she lied next to Peter, peaking underneath the pillow and removing wet strings of hair from his tired face. “Also,” he began quietly, averting his glance.

“Hm?”

“I think there are now videos of Spiderman, lying on the ground with a huge boner and humping the asphalt.”

She laughed, getting closer and covering them both with a pillow.

“I always knew he was a kinky perv.” She closed her eyes and kissed Peter softly, feeling him smiling.

“I love you,” he said the moment after they parted their lips.

“I love you more, Peter.”

“I love you most.”

My (first!) tag list: @lousimusician @campcampie @calypsolotus @mlt2000 @zelda2248 @imarockstar45 @jackiehollanderr @bluediamondsevie @professsionalsinner @hae-bee @madisonn-chapman @itsbqueenthings @dean-the-smol-bean @notobsessed-justobservant @peterbrokenparker @pxkajesus @jxhnten @oais-sis @avngrsinitiative @russian-potatoes @iamburdened @mirenkristina @cin-sweetie @onyxbunny22 @maryhuffxoxo @danicarosaline

#peter parker #peter parker fic #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x oc #tom holland #spiderman #spiderman homecoming #spiderman far from home #marvel

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chapter-cher · 5 years

Text

25 Minutes

Nagising ako sa sinag ng araw na tumatama sa mukha ko. I smiled. It’s the day of my wedding. Sa isang babae, mayroon lang dalawang pinakaimportante na okasyon sa buhay niya, ang debut at kasal. And just like any other girl, I want this day to be perfect.

The calming scent of the candles made me smile. Tumayo ako at lumabas sa may balcony ng hotel room. It’s cloudy. Hindi masakit sa mata ang sinag ng araw, perfect.

“Hi Aurora! Good Morning! How was your sleep?” Tanong ng aming wedding coordinator.

“Okay lang. 13 hours of sleep is not normal you know?” Biniro ko siya.

“But on your wedding day, it is. Start getting ready and have some breakfast sa baba ha?” I nodded and smiled. Ilang saglit ko lang dinama ang simoy ng hangin bago pumasok sa banyo upang magsimulang maghanda para sa araw na ito.

“Aurora! Oh my god, i can’t believe your getting married today!” yakap ng pinsan ko sakin na tinuring ko nading matalik na kaibigan. I wasn’t surprised since araw araw naman siyang ganyang ka-jolly. She’s the ice-breaker of the family.

“So do I..”

Everything went smoothly through out the day. Walang kaproble-problema, I salute my coordinator and all the people who’s doing everything they can to make this day memorable.

“Aurora, yung vows mo?” tanong ng coordinator habang inaayusan ako.

“Okay na.” Nilabas ko ang luma at lukot lukot na papel sa kamay ko’t tinitigan ito at ngumiti.

Mabilis na ang mga sumunod na nangyari, pagkaayos ay nagkaroon ng pictorial. Pagkaraan ay pumunta ng simbahan para sa pinakahihintay na kasal. I don’t feel nervous, not even a little bit, nor excitement. Just the fact that I’m getting married today is what’s running through my head. I don’t feel anything. Nilabas ko ulit ang papel kung saan nakasulat ang vows ko. Tinitigan ko ang sulat kamay ng pinakaimportanteng tao sa buhay ko. I smiled.

Pinalabas na ko ng coordinator at inakay papunta sa harap ng simbahan. I heard the violin and piano playing ‘all of me’ at nagsimula ng kumabog ang puso ko.

Unti unti nilang binuksan ang malaking pintuan at napangiti ako sa ganda ng simbahan, lahat ng pamilyar na mukha na nakasama ko sa buhay ko. Nagsimula akong humakbang. Habang naglalakad ay samu’t saring pagbati ang narinig ko. But it doesn’t really matter.

Nang abot kamay ko na ang altar ay nakita ko ang lalaking papakasalan ko, ang lalaking makakasama ko sa buong buhay ko. Ngumiti ako sakanya at inabot ang inalay niyang kamay. Kumabog lalo ang dibdib ko.

Nagsimula ang pari sa mga seremonyas ng kasal. Finally, the most awaited part, the vows. As the lady, I’m expected to start. Binuksan ko ang papel na kanina ko pang hawak. Tinitigan ko ito saglit bago nagsimulang basahin.

“Love is about taking risks, it’s about sacrifices and fighting in any circumstances. That’s why I’m taking this risk now. When I first saw you in the hospital my heart suddenly sank. With sorrow and sadness. Someone so young doesn’t deserve to live her life in a hospital room. You deserve to go to school, have friends, drink and party, do normal stuffs. But instead life gave you this disease. At first it was all pity, I talked to you and asked you how your day was so that you would know that there are people in this hospital that cares for you. But everyday as I go inside your room it wasn’t something I just do out of obligation, I started to be fond of you. You’re a jolly kid who loves to tell stories and be clingy.” Tumigil ako nang maramdaman ang pagbabara sa lalamunan.

“I started to love you.” Tumulo ang luha ko sa sakit na nararamdaman.

“I started to love you at your worst. I loved every inch of you, the way you smile and talk. Hindi ko inasahan pero nangyari, I wanted to fight it cause I’m your doctor, I’m just your doctor and you’re a teenager who have a life outside the hospital. Before I hated being a doctor, I get too attached to my patients and eventually they don’t survive, as a neurosurgeon, that’s my life. Pero ikaw, ayaw kitang mawala. Ayaw kong gumising isang araw na papasok ako sa kwarto mo pero di na ikaw ang nandoon. Ayokong pumasok sa trabaho na alam kong di na kita pasyente. Not because you were cured but because I failed as your doctor. I studied day and night, kasi gusto kitang mapagaling, gusto kitang maging okay. Gusto kitang makasama pa ng mas matagal.” Humagulgol ako sa nabasa.

“And finally I succeeded. You were alive and I’ve never felt so happy and greatful. Pagkatapos ng operasyon, sinimulan na natin ang matagal nang dapat nating sinimulan. We started the life you deserve, we started the future that you really want. And every passing day that I was with you is the most beautiful part of my life. I can’t wait to spend of the rest of my life with you.” I cried and my future husband hugged me.

“Thank you doc, mahal na mahal kita.” Mas naiyak ako sa kanyang binulong.

With my swollen heart the wedding continued until its finished. Iginiya kami ng coordinator papunta sa harap ng simbahan kung saan nakahanda ang mga bisita na magbabato ng petals. I smiled when they all shouted kiss. I looked at my husband and kissed him. Nginitian ko silang lahat. Naglakad kami papuntang bridal car na siyang maghahatid samin sa reception.

Sa loob ng kotse ay hawak lang ng asawa ko ang kamay ko habang ang kabilang kamay ay mahigpit na hawak ang papel na hindi ko pa tapos basahin. Nilabas ko ito at binasang muli.

But sadly, Aurora, life isn’t that easy. I wanted to marry you and have a life with you, but as I said, life isn’t that easy. You told me you wanted to be a doctor, you told me you wanted to be like me and help people pero alam kong hindi mo kaya, hindi mo kaya yung hirap, hindi kaya ng katawan mo, hindi kaya ng utak mo. You were just cured Aurora pero gusto mo na agad magisip ng mag isip. Being a doctor is not that easy as it looks. You’re going to be stressed, have mental breakdowns, it’s going to ruin you. Yes it will be worth it in the end,. But you brains is not as healthy as everyone else’s, you’re fragile aurora.

I can’t let you do that. Kaya pinapili kita.

Pagdodoktor o ako?

I was so confident you’ll choose me. But you didn’t. You chose medicine. You chose to be like me instead of being with me. Akala ko if I give you space and let you do it, hahabulin mo din ako at marerealize mo na tama ako. I thought one day you’re going to run to me. But that day never came.

I’m getting married tomorrow Aurora. I’m not sure if I should continue it. But my fiancee is pregnant. I’m stuck between doing what is right and doing what I want. I want you Aurora. Come to my wedding, maybe if I see you, I’ll know what to do. Don’t be late.

I love you. Always and Forever my favorite patient.

With much love,

Doctor Phillip

“Hey baby, are you okay?” hinarap ko ang asawa ko at nginitian.

“I’m okay, Just tears of joy.” Hinigpitan ko ang hawak ko sakanya.

Dumating kami sa reception at ang unang unang bumati sakin ay ang taong hindi ko inaasahang pupunta sa kasal ko. I smiled at his children. And his wife. Huli ko siyang tiningnan at niyakap.

“I still love you doc.” Bulong ko at hinigpitan lalo ang yakap sakanya.

“It’s okay, you’ll get used to it.” Bumitaw siya at nginitian ako.

Inakay na ko ng aking asawa papunta sa entablado kung saan kami uupo. I looked back at my favorite doctor, the one who saved me from my tumor, the one who checked on me everyday when I was 16, the one who loved me too much, the one let go for my dreams. The one I truly love.

I’m sorry doc, I was 25 minutes late at your wedding.

#short fiction #romance #the one that got away #truelove #short story

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to-the-person-who-broke-me · 5 years

Text

Why???

As we live every day, we thought that we are so healthy because we don’t feel that we are sick. am I right?? But let me tell you my story. when I was young, I was so energetic, hyper, always dancing and playing. I never thought that 1 day some of these diseases will come out one by one. why did I say one by one?? Is it too many for a person who never felt pain or any of it before??? Yes, maybe we can say that almost of the diseases in our family’s gene had been passed to me.

The first disease that has been diagnosed to me was “SCOLIOSIS” many people nowadays knows it, but do you have knowledge about it?? Some people are judging those who have it especially when the person fall in line on a PWD lane their eyes are telling “bakit sya nakapila doon?? Di naman sya pilay, di naman sya mukhang pwd” I was bothered when I read this from one of the person on our group on FB I am ashamed of those people that think being PWD should always be obvious physically because I was planning to get a PWD card so I don’t have to fall in line for hours or just for minutes specially at supermarkets. You know it really hurts to have this disease specially my curve is on the lower back. There are many types of SCOLIOSIS, I was diagnosed with THORACIC DEXTROSCOLIOSIS the curve is bending on the right because “dextro” means right while thoracic means something about the “thorax” and thorax is somewhere located at the waist. too cold temperature makes the pain worst, hard back of a chair makes the pain worst, unalleviated chair or anything that we can sit on makes the pain worst. sometimes you can see me slouching because it’s hard to sit on a straight back for a couple of hours. Is there any cure??? Yes, there is when it gets severe I can ask for operation, does it cost much?? Yes, it is that’s why somehow I’m preventing it to get worst. They said I can take therapy but it also cost much, “why don’t you just wear a brace??” Do you know how much it cost??? It cost 5000-10000 USD and I might not be comfortable wearing it especially when I’m working. So I hope you’ll understand when I can’t carry heavy things to help you. Back then when I’m in high school my classmates always telling me “mag straight back ka kasi” If alam lang nila I really want to but it hurts so much when I try that’s why I’m always kuba or ukos in Kapampangan. My shoulders are not even but as I grew older I managed to straighten it little by little, my shoulders kind of good right now and I can straighten my back for a couple of hours but the pain still there specially when it’s too cold, it’s hard to sleep.

The second disease that was diagnosed to me was MVP (mitral valve prolapse) and attached to this, I also have hyperthyroidism that’s why if you can see my neck or throat is a little bit bulky in front likes I have an adam’s apple before I thought maybe it’s just because I am thin but I’m wrong. What is MVP?? MVP means that one of the valve in your heart is leaking or it’s not working/pumping properly. In my case the left valve is the one leaking because of it my heart can’t pump blood properly through my body that’s why I seem like I am an anemic person but I’m not. Also because of it my heart beats fast and somehow my hyperthyroidism is contributing to its fast beating too. What is the normal heart rate of a person?? 60-80 bpm right?? Mine was 100-120 bpm that’s my normal heart rate EVERYDAY from the moment I wake up until I close my eyes to sleep. Palpitation is part of my everyday life. May mga bawal ba saken na kainin or gawin?? Yes, there is di ako pwede sa mga foods na may caffeine like coffee, coffee flavoured food mapa candy or biscuits or pastry man yan even mocha and cappuccino flavored food which I really love It’s my fave. When it’s all start?? The doctor said that it was inborn so it means since when I came out to this world meron nako. Buti ngayon mo lang nalaman? Di ko din alam kasi back then mahilig pa kong sumali sa mga activities sa school like dancing I really love dancing pero ngayon I can’t barely do it. Lagi pa ko sumasali ng mga cheerdance and I also dance pag may mga program. Active din ako sa mga activities sa PE subject naming like playing some street games mahilig pa kami nun tumakbo around the campus nararamdaman ko yung pagod pero hindi ko nararamdaman na may problem ako sa heart. Nung nagcollege ako mahilig pa din ako sumali sa mga activities lalo na PE puro sayaw halos araw araw yung practice nun pero wala pa rin akong nafeel na may problema saken until naggraduate ako and nagkawork na. I work as a call center agent before and dun nagtrigger yun heart disease ko pero bago yun nakasali pa ko sa flash mob site competition nun halos sobrang pagod din yung gabi kayo nagpapractice hanggang umaga siguro naabuse ko yung sarili ko but you can’t blame me because I didn’t even know I have it, if alam ko lang from the start na meron ako sana naalagaan ko yung sarili ko di ko na sana pinagod yung sarili sa mga activities noon. It all start nung isang araw na uminom ako ng kape. Mahilig ako sa coffee honestly it doesn’t matter if it is hot or cold basta feel ko uminom ng kape iinom ako until one day that change my life and stop me from drinking it. Off ko nun and then I made some ice cold coffee kasi super init noon. When I already finished my cup I felt na para akong magkocollapse so humiga muna ako kasi baka dahil kulang ako sa tulog or stress lang sa work I slept for an hour and nung tumayo ako ganun pa din nararamdaman ko hinayaan ko nalang the next day okay na ko nakapasok nako ng work. While taking a call siguro mga 2am na yun nafeel ko na nahihirapan ako huminga and medyo nahihilo ako so I asked my coach to take the call for me since hindi maganda pakiramdam ko. The next day di ako pumasok para makapagpahinga ako bago ako magpacheck up. So yun the next day after pumunta nakami ng doctor pinag run nya ko ng mga labtest ECG, TSH and 2D ECHO wag nyo na itanong magkano mga yan kasi mahal talaga mga labtest para sa heart. So when the result came out ayun nadiagnosed ako na meron akong Cardiac dysrythmmias; Stable agina r/o Hyperthyroidism or MVP. I already prayed na sana wala or maging negative na stressed lang ko or pagod pero wala ganun talaga maybe I’m destined to have it. The doctor said na hindi dapat ako mastress and mapagod, when I heard of it na may MVP ako and after nya inexplain na dapat habang di pa malala yung leak ng valve is makapagpaopera nako kasi pag naging severe na di nako makakapagwork wala nakong magagawa sa buhay ko. The doctor said that they need to repair the valve inside they will replace it with a new one but the chances is 50/50 because it’s an open heart surgery nung narinig ko yun natakot ako kasi open heart imagine bubuksan nila yung heart mo so machine lang muna yung magpapabuhay sayo while they are operating and it will also cost half a million. Saan naman kami kukuha ng ganung kalaking halaga ng pera di ba? Di naman kami ganun kayaman and usually sa mga health insurance ng mga company di nila kinecredit yung inborn diseases. I felt that my world fell apart at that moment until we decided to go home binigyan nalang ako ni doc ng mga maintenance medicine na until now tinetake ko. This medicine will prevent my heart for somehow getting worst. Nakakainis lang yung mga tao na pag sinabihan ko na wag ako gugulatin or pag uminom ako ng kape is mamatay ako tatawanan lang like I was just joking for them OA ba pakinggan?? But that’s the truth. It’s so hard to have this kasi anytime pwede ka madeads specially pag sumobra pagod or sobrang init. That’s why as much as possible iniiwasan ko lahat ng yan but still I can go out and I can still travel by myself. But not until one day, one day that will stop me from commuting by myself.

A disease that will make my normal life complicated. When this occur di nako sa callcenter nagwowork, sa isang logistic company nako nagwowork nung nangyari saken, yung para saken pinaka nakakadown na sakit na nagkaroon ako. I love music so much yung tipong kahit saan ako pumunta lagi akong nakaheadset. Headset on volume louder, music is my escape from the real world. I feel so energetic kapag nakikinig ako ng music while working with my headset on bakit ko ‘to sinasabi anong connect sa susunod na madadiagnosed saken?? Malaki, kasi after ako madiagnose nito di nako pwede magheadset or di na ako pwede makinig ng mga malalakas na music specially yung malalakas ang bass or kahit maingay lang bawal. On that day, morning shift ako 8am pasok ko nun so tulad ng lagi kong ginagawa araw araw pag sakay ko ng trike nagheheadset nako while riding a tricycle I felt dizzy all of a sudden pero di ko pinansin sandali lang kasi mga 2secs lang so tumuloy padin akong magtravel papuntang work nung bumaba nako sa harap ng Jollibee sa Dau yung after ng samsonville, habang nag aabang ako ng jeep papuntang maingate biglang umikot paningin ko nakaheadset pako nun di ko pa tinanggal ayaw tumigil ng pag ikot ng paningin ko wala pa naman tao dun at that time akala ko mamatay nako napaupo nako sa sahig habang nakakapit ako sa fence ng tree nasugat pa nga ako nun sa sobrang kapit hanggang may 2 students na dumaan nilapitan ako at nilalakad nila ako papasok ng Jollibee binigyan ako ng tubig ng crew medyo nahimasmasan ako nun wala pa naman akong load at that time kaya di ko alam pano ko kokontakin parents ko or yung office namin buti nalang pinahiram ako ng cellphone nung mga tumulong saken una kong tinawagan yung TL ko sinabi ko yung sitwasyon ko at di ako makakapasok after nun kinontak ko na tatay ko nagpeprepare sya nun papuntang work nagpapasundo ako sakanya kasi talagang di ko kayang umuwing mag isa nakiusap sya dun sa kapitbahay naming na tricycle driver na sunduin ako sa Jollibee and then nung nakauwi nako humiga agad ako at nagpahinga kasi baka kulang lang ako sa tulog pero as the days goes by ganun pa din nangyayari saken paulit ulit 1week akong di nakapasok sa work so nagdecide nakong magpacheck up nanaman inexplain ko sa doctor yung nangyari saken tapos nagrun sya ng mga physical test sabi nya may Menieres disease ako nagkocause nito is yung too much loud noise after nun pumunta din ako sa EET meron din daw akong Positional vertigo kaya pag natutulog ako di ko kaya humiga sa right lagi akong nahihilo o diba dalawa agad. Nagkocause din daw toh ng sudden deaf or nagiging mahina yung pandinig ng isang tao kaya pala minsan kahit malapit na yung taong nagsasalita or kumakausap saken hindi ko sya maintindihan hanggang ngayon ganito ako kaya pag nagsasalita ako parang lagi akong galit sabi nga nila, kasi minsan di ko marinig ng maayos yung sarili ko at nasanay nadin siguro ako ganun magsalita so sorry po if akala nyo lagi akong galit. Please just understand me.

Back then I thought na napakamalas kong tao kasi isipin mo daming nadiagnosed saken it came to the point na nadepress ako at nagkaanxiety dahil sa mga ‘to. Sino ba naman kasi ang mag aakala na sa liit ng katawan na ‘to daming sakit ang naglabasan. Minsan natatanong ko kay GOD bakit ako?? Bakit ako pa yung kailangan magkaroon ng maraming sakit masama ba kong tao?? And then I will cry so hard alam mo yung umiiyak ka ng walang boses super sakit nun sa dibdib. Halos gabi gabi ako umiiyak noon kasi lagi ko naiisip di nako mabubuhay ng normal di ko na magagawa yung mga gusto kong gawin or yung mga dati kong ginagawa. Di nako lumalabas samin or pumupunta kahit saan. Di nako makapagcommute lagi nalang akong nakaservice until now kasi andyan padin vertigo ko di parin nawawala yung pag gising mo pa lang hilo ka na hanggang sa pagpasok mo sa work hanggang sa pag uwi ko buti nga nakakaya ko pa pumasok kung di lang siguro ako nakaservice di nako makakapagtrabaho ang hirap sobrang hirap ng pinagdadaana ko araw araw yung feeling na gumigising at nagtatrabaho ka nalang para lang mabuhay araw araw. Dumating din ako sa point ng buhay ko na gusto ko ng mamatay yung hinihiling ko na kay GOD na kunin na nya ko kasi di ko na kaya hirap na hirap nako. Minsan din pag mag isa ako naiisip ko magpakamatay tapos magpepray nalang ako kay GOD nun na bigyan nya pa ko ng lakas ng loob para mabuhay. Walang may alam ng pinagdadaanan ko noon kung hindi ako lang kalian lang naman ako nag open up sa mga kaibigan at few family members pero di ko lahat nasasabi sakanila kasi baka di rin nila ako maintindihan dami kasing taong akala nila alam nila lahat yung nangyayari sayo even though wala naman talaga silang alam. Before you tell me anything please fill in my shoes first so alam nyo kung bakit mas pinili ko yung buhay na ganito kaysa gawin yung mga bagay na sinasabi nyo. Yung iba laging tinatanong bakit di kana gumagala? Bakit di mo kasi try magcommute ulit?? Bakit wala ka ng social life?? Bakit mo kasi inaalagaan sakit mo?? Bakit di mo try mag exercise?? Bakit di mo ienjoy yung buhay mo, alam mo yung YOLO?? Sinanay mo kasi sarili mo di nagkocommute. At pinakaworse at pinaka ayoko na sinasabi nila “nasa isip mo lang yan, wag mo kasi masyadong isipin”. Sinasabi ko sa sarili ko kung nasa isip ko lang ‘to edi sana wala na napaka strong ng mind ko high yung tolerance ko sa pain madalang lang ako uminom ng painkillers kasi sineset ko sa mind ko na mawawala din yung sakit o diba edi kung nasa isip ko lang yung mga sakit edi sana magaling nako. Pero hindi e di naman ganun kadali yun specially pag dumadating yung depression sayo lahat ng tao alam ang depression pero di sila knowledgeable tungkol dito ang alam lang nila sakit sa utak pag nadedepress ka nababaliw ka or tulad ng sinabi ko kanina nasa isip lang. pag sinabihan mo yung tao ng ganyan tapos ganito yung pinagdaanan nya sa buhay at pinagdadaanan pa di mo sya natutulungan lalo mo syang dinadown tulad nung mga taong nagsasabi saken ng mga ganun akala nyo ba natutulungan nyo ko pag sinasabi nyo mga yan saken?? Hindi, bumababa selfesteem ko pag nakakarinig ako nyan yung minsan naghohold ako ng grudges sa mga taong nagsasabi nyan yung minsan gusto ko magwala, yung gusto kong manuntok ng tao at ibuhos lahat sakanya alam nyo yung feeling na ganun. Mas pinili ko yung buhay na ganito kasi wala akong napeperwisyong tao, ayoko manira ng mga happy moments kaya di ako sumasamang lumalabas, mas gusto kong sa bahay lang mas kumportable ako mas kalmado ako di ko naiisip na magiging pabigat lang ako sa mga tao pag sumama ako lumabas. Mas masaya nako ng ganito lumalabas naman ako pag family gathering kaya okay na saken yun, yung mga kaibigan ko alam naman din nila na di nako mahilig lumabas kaya dito nalang din kami sa bahay nagkikita kita. Akala ko after ng vertigo ko tapos na yung wala ng dadagdag pa, kung kalian nakakamove on nako at medyo di na din ako sinusumpong ng depression may lumitaw nanamang bago.

November 12, 2016 first operation ko nadiagnosed ako na may Ovarian cyst at this time tinry ko maging strong. Nung sinabi ni doktora na as much as possible need kong maopera para matanggal yung cyst kasi pag di daw natanggal kaagad yung lalo dodoble daw yung sakit and worst is magbuburst sya sa loob at maiinfection yung dugo ko. So I decided right away na maoperahan ako. Inasikaso ko lahat ng mga documents na kailangan buti nalang yung health insurance ng company namin kinocover nila yung ganitong operation maswerte ako kasi di ko kailangan maglabas ng malaking halaga which is wala naman kami. So after ko na mabigay yung documents na kailangan pinaglabtest nako ni doktora naubos yung ipon ko sa mga labtest pero okay lang atleast di gumastos yung parents ko galing lahat sa sarili kong bulsa. Ayoko na din kasi maging burden sakanila lalo na wala ng work si papa nun. Sabi nga nila nag iipon daw ako para lang may pambayad ako sa mga ganito para saken okay lang naman atleast ready ka di ka na mamomroblema kung san kukuha ng panggastos di ba? So yun after ng mga labtest at makakuha ng mga clearances sa doctor ko sa heart. Naoperahan nako, sabi nga ni doktora napakatapang ko daw kasi as in ako lang mag isa lahat nag ayos para lang maoperahan ako di namroblema yung parents ko saken. 5 days ako sa hospital after nun nakauwi nakami 2 moths ako di nakapagwork pero okay lang kasi bayad naman. So nung naging okay nako nakakatayo nako mag isa and every day thankful ako kasi mabilis yung naging recovery ko from the operation. As the days goes by I tried to be strong and tough ayoko kasi ipakita sa mga tao na nahihirapan ako na deep inside down na down ako at umiiyak. As much as possible tinatawa ko nalang para di ko maisip yung mga pinagdaanan ko at pinagdadaanan pa. Pag nga tinatanong ako ng “may sakit ka ba?? Bat ang tahimik mo??” nasasagot ko nalang matagal na matagal nakong may sakit. I’ve never been okay kahit minsan sinasabi ko na okay lang ako because at the end of the day pag mag isa nalang ako at wala nakong kausap pumapasok lahat sa isip ko yung mga pinagdadaanan ko minsan di ko mapigilan mag overthink at umiyak lalo na pag naalala ko yung mga bagay na nagagawa ko dati at kapag yung mga taong nagsasabi saken ng mga negative words tulad ng mga binanggit ko kanina naiiyak ako kasi di ko naman ginusto maging ganito e. sino ba naman may gustong magkaroon ng maraming sakit di ba?? Wala, walang may gusto. Gusto ko ulit mabuhay ng normal but this is the best thing that I can do to prevent any of these diseases getting worst. I hope after reading this you will fully understand me and what I’ve been through all my life di kami mayaman kaya iniiwasan kong mahospital. Don’t tell me that YOLO thing, kasi iba yung meaning nyan sa ibang tao para sakanila minsan lang tayo mabubuhay kaya dapat gawin natin lahat ng gusto nating gawin mamamatay din naman tayo for me di ganun ang YOLO yes you can do anything you want but with precautions kailangan mo padin iconsiderate yung health mo, ou magagawa mo yung gusto mo pano kung after nun may mangyari sayo o sasabihin mo “okay lang atleast nagawa ko yung gusto kong gawin” kahit na mag alala yung parents mo sayo?? Kahit dahil doon papahirapan mo pa yung parents mo di sila makakatulog ng maayos gabi gabi dahil sa kakaisip sa nangyari sayo?? O baka sabihin nyo negative thinker ako telling you this doesn’t mean na pessimist ako. We only live once nga di ba so isang beses lang tayo mabubuhay why don’t we just took care of ourselves and stop being burden to our parents or to other people mas maganda ng ikaw lang ang mahirapan at wag na ang parents mo. Para pag may nangyari sayo wala kang sisihing iba. Ganun na ako mag isip ngayon selfish man pakinggan pero that’s the best thing that I can do. Ayoko ng may mga tao pang mahirapan dahil saken or dahil sa kalagayan ko. Sana intindihin nyo lang ako instead of saying words that bringing me down dapat encouraging words yung mga sinasabi nyo at hindi mga ganun. You should help me put my self-esteem high not pushing me down. Yun lang naman yung reason bakit ko ‘to pinublish para bigyan kayo ng knowledge about my diseases kasi alam ko madami dyan yung akala nila alam nila lahat pero hindi, na para sakanila ordinary lang yung mga sakit ko na hindi naman kadepress depress na pwede ko padin gawin yung mga ginagawa ko dati. I hope this will open your mind na hindi lahat ng para sainyo is okay e okay din sa iba. Yun lang po salamat :)

#scoliosis #warrior #heart disease #vertigo

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