#yes i know The Spoiler let me dream about playdates
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ooops-i-arted · 2 years ago
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I bet you’ve got a lot of thoughts about “The Foundling” and can’t wait to hear your meta-child development-analysis
Ah, Grogu on the beach. Relaxing and exploring like a real kid should be. Until it's time for FIGHT CLUB JR lol. But Din's desire for Grogu to be with the others is understandable - by now he's surely picked up that Schools Are For Children And That's Good. Grogu does need to be with his peers. But unfortunately there appears to be no Mandalorian preschool on Death World, so like in The Siege, Grogu is thrown in with the older kiddos. But he lifts his arms up anyway; Grogu always wants to please Dad, and probably feels even more desire to do so now that they're here among Dad's people.
Din saying "It's time you learn with the other foundlings. Playtime's over" isn't necessarily unusual in the real world, of course, and it's clearly well-meant. But since I have you all here, I'd like to remind you that children learn best through play! Grogu seems old enough to handle some structured lessons, but playing with his peers should be perfectly healthy and normal for him and should be encouraged. (It's a shame we never get to see Din and Paz set up a play date for their boys.)
So.... is Fight Club Jr. really appropriate for kids? I guess it depends on context. Overall, it really doesn't seem that different from elementary/preteen kids' karate or sports lessons in our world. Nothing is lethal, but discipline and hard work are expected and there is a chance to get bruises. In-universe, we know the Children of the Watch specifically have faced being hunted down and harmed, so it makes sense they train their kids to be able to protect themselves as soon as they're able. In itself, it seems reasonable. Where that gets tripped up is when Din throws Grogu in there.
Why is Din so eager for Grogu to join Fight Club Jr.? He knows Grogu trained with Luke and can jump, Din has seen Grogu defend himself (and almost always when already threatened) but fighting is another level. Is this what happened to him as a foundling (or what he remembers/perceives as happening) and he views this as normal? Did he have a ward who treated him this way? Din is oddly stiff and stern as he enters Grogu into a match and doesn't even ask Grogu if he's interested or ready, in sharp contrast to their other interactions. Normally he talks to Grogu like a fellow living being, including asking his consent for big decisions (such as when Grogu chooses to go with Luke). Referring to himself as Grogu's "ward" is just egregious the way it's casually dropped and skipped over. After all this, Din won't refer to himself as Grogu's father? And if it's still an internal thing he is coming to grips with, why isn't that dwelled on or explored more? Imo this seemed off compared to what we've previously seen in terms of Din being a father to Grogu. (But I guess it was all so Bo could tell Grogu Din was proud of him, when Din is perfectly capable of doing so himself and has expressed his pride in the past.) Din crouching down to quietly and calmly instruct Grogu how to use the launcher and tell him he'll be fine seems much more like how Din usually parents Grogu.
Grogu looks right to Din when he fails the first round, his usual source of reassurance. Din understands what Grogu needs finally, and assures him he can use his powers - a necessity, because Grogu has hidden so long and doesn't usually know who he can be himself around. (Also, for all we know he heard stories about the Old Republic era, where Mandalorians and Jedi were at war.) And as soon as he wins Grogu looks straight to Din, wanting to know he did good. Din is still so important for Grogu's emotional well-being. Grogu uses Din as a barometer to explore this new place and people and figure out if he's behaving acceptably or not. It's another sign of a very secure attachment and a relationship of mutual trust.
I do notice that Grogu is out on the beach when everyone else went inside after the latest Foundlingnapping. More likely a set-up for his next scene with the Armorer, but I do like the idea that he's not afraid of no Child-Eating Monster. Or he's gotta keep an eye out and make sure it doesn't get Dad, because DAMN Dad is ALWAYS getting into trouble and I, Grogu, am the only thing between him and certain death.
Grogu probably needs like, some Real Actual Therapy for his childhood trauma but sitting in the quiet forge calmly isn't too bad as a coping mechanism. In my preschool we often practice taking deep breaths to calm down, identifying our feelings, talking through them so another person can understand and help you. It's probably not dissimilar to what Grogu did as a Jedi youngling. That may have been what lead him to connect and relive his memories, and we finally see how he escaped the Jedi Temple.
The whole flashback is more about telling the audience how he escaped than being a character study, so there isn't much to recap from a child development perspective there tbh. You can tell he's so scared. He is clutching his blanket for dear life. Was it a comfort item he had as a youngling? Did he have other toys he left behind? How many other children did he watch die? How many people he knew and loved? It's no wonder his memories "went dark." That much trauma would be rough on an adult, let alone a little one who was probably between baby and toddler in development. (Judging how we see him as toddler-like in season 1, 3-4 years old-like in season 2, and 4-5 years old-like in BoBF and season 3, I'm guessing he was about the equivalent of 1-2 at that point, and probably had regressed in behavior/abilities by the time he met Din due to his treatment.) We don't know what happened between escaping Coruscant and meeting Din, but since we see him locked up as a commodity by the Niktos and showing signs of being neglected/abused (minimal attention-seeking because he has learned it won't get him what he needs, minimal vocalizations, avoids drawing attention to himself as he has learned it's a negative thing) I'm guessing nothing good. He does look calmer after his flashback, though, so I like to think he's facing it and processing it and continuing his healing process.
He looks so happy and proud to get a new piece of armor though! I bet he couldn't wait to show Din and I wish we'd gotten a scene of that! He's gotta be really working those muscles to be carrying around all that armor. Also, I feel like Grogu wouldn't be above rubbing his new shiny beskar in Ragnar's face. I really want them to be friends and have playdates now....
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peterstanslizzie · 4 years ago
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Reacting To: Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts (Season 3 Episode 10)
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This is it people! The series finale of Kipo; Let’s get to it.
Episode Title: Age of Wonderbeasts
Spoiler Warning: Kindly proceed if you’ve already seen the episode or are able to handle spoilers
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Hopefully she’s getting dressed for her funeral lol
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1. Continuing on from last episode, the fireworks rigged with the cure goes off and a bunch of embers start falling from the sky. One of the Humming Bombers got into contact with one of them while attempting to flee and immediately de-mutes. I thought the cure needed to go into their bloodstream? Unless, the ember actually burned through their skin. It that’s the case, wow that’s dark....
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It’s awesome that Earl and Lily are helping Molly since Molly saved their children awhile back. 
2. With her quick thinking, Kipo asks everyone to find shelter underneath her as she transforms into her Mega Jaguar form. However, that’s still not enough to protect everyone but luckily, the good humans step up to shield them with table cloths, which was heartwarming to see. 
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The mutes are thanking the humans for their act of kindness
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OMG. Lio and Song hugging Scarlemagne? I’m here for it.
3. Thankfully, the fireworks ended and Kipo then pleads with Emilia one last time to stop what she’s doing. Emilia, hard-headed as ever isn’t one to back down at all and makes a drastic decision to inject herself with the mutagen she sourced from the Mega Walrus, transforming herself into one ugly Mega Mute. 
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Imagine seeing this in real life...shudders
4. I thought she was going to use the Mega Walrus’s DNA to make another cure that would affect Kipo. I didn’t think she would do this to herself. Kipo transforms back to her Mega form to take on Emilia before she could potentially hurt anyone. 
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How many Troyson kisses do we want? Yes...hehe
5. Troy and Benson are directing everyone back to find safety inside the old burrow while Wolf joins Kipo to assist her in battling Emilia. Kipo has the upper hand at first because Emilia isn’t used to being a Mega Mute. However, as the fight progresses, Emilia is starting to get better and is landing some solid hits on Kipo. But I feel like Kipo shouldn’t be losing to Emilia since she has much more experience fighting as a Mega. I guess they want us to feel like the stakes are high.
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Man, this fight is actually pretty brutal. Emilia is whooping major jaguar ass here.
6. During the battle, Wolf notices Greta nearby and thinks that she has the cure to turn back Emilia into a human. So, hopefully they can steal the cure from Greta and use it as leverage to get Emilia to stop. They split up with Wolf going after Greta and Kipo continuing to fight off Emilia. 
7. After taking a couple more punches, we see three of the Mega Dogs, the Mega Pigeon and the Mega Beaver heading their way towards the fight, with Jamack, Molly, Hoag, Amy, Zane, Label, Lio, Song, Scarlemagne, Dave, Benson and Mandu riding on them. I stan such supportive friends!
8. They each take turns kicking Emilia’s butt to buy Kipo some time to recover. Side note: It’s so cool that Jamack tells Emilia to do some “soul searching”! That’s literally the same line Kipo used on Jamack in Season 1 when he was an antagonist back then. During all of this, we see Emilia beginning to have some inner turmoil; It looks like she’s starting to lose herself in her current form.
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9. We get to round 2 of Wolf vs Greta and it looks like the tables might turn in favor of Wolf but Greta is just too beefy for her to take on. While being held down in a pin, Wolf tries to butter her up with words by telling her that she’s not an idiot and she can think for herself, without the influence of Emilia. She also bribes her with all the pancakes she can eat if she hands over the cure to her and just like that, she agrees to hand it over. It’s so ironic that Greta is one of Emilia’s last followers but she’s so easily influenced to switch sides. 
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Again, I don’t get why Kipo is losing to Emilia so badly
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10. Kipo is down for the count and Emilia turns her attention to her friends/family. As she’s about to crush Lio and Song, Kipo charges in last minute to take the devastating blow for them; She then falls unconscious. However, Emilia’s not done yet.
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Scarlemagne’s death in 3...2...1
11. Oh no...here we go. Scarlemagne decides to play hero by making his attempt at saving Kipo. He basically gives his swan song to Lio and Song. I have a bad feeling he’s going to die and I’m not at all prepared to watch. He takes off on his favorite Flamingo vehicle from Season 1 and 2 and flies towards Emilia to distract her.
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We haven’t heard this laugh in ages. Also, did anyone get chills when he tells Emilia to “leave her sister alone”?
12. He crashes his vehicle into Emilia causing her to lose focus and it sets off her ‘losing herself to the mega mute’ phase. This in turn, causes Scarlemagne to crash land somewhere in Skyscraper Ridge. Was it necessary for him to crash like that? If that’s the way he goes out, I’m gonna be honest here and say I would be very disappointed with that. 
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13. Emilia, who clearly is out of it runs off somewhere and Kipo, Wolf, Dave, Benson and Mandu all go after her with Lio and Song heading towards where Hugo/Scarlemagne crash landed. We then see the artistic representation of Emilia losing her mind to the mute, where her human form is quickly sinking deeper and deeper into the ocean. 
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14. They catch up to Emilia and they could see her being distraught. We also know the reason why she’s this way and it’s because she doesn’t have an anchor. I love it how whatever explanation we’re being told by the characters is something that the audience should know based on past episodes. Now that’s good storytelling. 
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15. Anyways, Kipo makes the decision to cure her because she thinks she doesn’t deserve to be punished this way. Really now? After all that she’s done? Maybe what Kipo means is that she deserves get whopped in her human form lol. After curing her, Kipo makes ANOTHER ATTEMPT (for the 3rd time) to convince her to make a change but of course this bitch isn’t going to change; She takes a shard of glass and tries to stab Kipo:
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16. But our girl, Mandu quickly reacts and bites Emilia’s arm. She then loses her balance and falls stories high in the exact burrow her lab was located because we then see Fun Gus capturing her and taking her in as her “playdate”. Emilia is basically history. 
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17. Yesss! And this punishment is fitting since she will probably be Fun Gus’s plaything till she goes insane and dies. Not to mention she despises mutes. So, it’s a great way for her to go out. Bye!!! That’s what you get for killing your brother, you heartless monster. Can I also point out that once again, Mandu is the one to take out Emilia. She did beat her in season 2 when Wolf, Dave and Benson couldn’t and now in season 3, she’s the one to finish the job. Don’t mess with Mandu lol. 
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18. They head back to find where Scarlemagne, Lio and Song are but it’s almost too late because Hugo is dying. Kipo is in tears and I’m in tears too. Again, was it really necessary to kill him off? I felt like he’s more or less already redeemed as a character before this. He didn’t have to commit such a heroic act, which had cost his life. Ugh....And just like that, Hugo dies.....UGHHHHHH. I really don’t think he needed to die. If Catra (who committed just as many heinous acts, if not more than Hugo) got to live in She-Ra & The Princesses of Power, Hugo deserves to live too. I’m sorry...
19. Now it’s time for the epilogue set 5 years later, as told by an older Kipo. Let’s break it down:
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Wolf’s Mega Corgi gave birth to a litter of puppies. Awww cuteness...
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Wolf let her hair grow out and she looks AMAZING!!! Dayummmm
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Benson and Troy own a successful restaurant together and they’re living the dream. Such domestic goals!
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I got chills seeing Wolf and Benson walking side by side like that. They’ve grown up so much. It looks like they’re own their way to a picnic
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Label and Zane is also running a gym together. Sweet!
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Jamack is conductor for Las Vistas’s new transport system. 
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Dave is now a guest lecturer at what is seems to be Lio and Song’s new research lab, where he talks about some of his research findings and theories. Well, mostly theories.
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I love Kipo’s new do’
20. We find out that Kipo is updating Hugo (spiritually) what has everybody been up to on his birthday. 
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Hugo gets a statue made in his honor, which is very fitting and Mandu...WOW MANDU has grown into an ADULT boar, with tusks and everything just like Bornak and Webber. 
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21. Kipo meets up with her besties and her family and they have their wonderful picnic in commemoration of Hugo’s birthday. 
22. The scene cuts off to all of them having the time of their life riding on their Mega mutes. And that’s the official ending to the series. TEARS...
23. This has been an amazing show to watch, react and review. I can’t believe it only had 30 episodes but the story was so cohesive and felt complete on the most part. So you could say that this show wrapped up nicely. There are some loose ends that weren’t addressed/resolved at the end like the vaccine that Song and Lio were working on but I guess that could be something that’s explored further in future films hopefully. 
24. I will also be making a couple of video essays that will be posted to my YouTube channel, PeterSaidWhat; The first one will be my full spoiler review of the final season and the second video will be Troyson-focused. I can’t wait for all of you to watch them. And finally, I want to thank you all for reading my episodic reviews and going on this incredible journey with me. It’s been a pleasure to have Kipo be a part of my life and I’m sure yours as well. 
Much love,
Peter
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renegadewangs · 5 years ago
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Ace Mindhunter - 4th Interview
Characters: Simon Blackquill, Athena Cykes, Shi-Long Lang, and a rogues gallery of AA villains. Fandom: Ace Attorney Pairings: N/A. Warnings/rating: 16+, I would say. Talk of heavy themes such as death and abuse, plus cursing. Spoilers for every AA game up to Spirit of Justice, AAI2 included. Gratuitous amounts of headcanon for antagonists. Summary: Simon Blackquill is roped into a Behavioral Analysis project along with Athena Cykes. They must sit down with convicted murderers for interviews, in hopes of finding out just what drove them to their convoluted crimes.
4th Interview Luke Date: June 16th 2028 Time: 3:00 PM Location: Interpol H.Q. - B.A.U. Office. Simon returned to the B.A.U. office after a very long, calm weekend and a morning of indicting a common burglar for tomorrow's trial. He would've counted himself lucky to still be handling any court cases on a part-time basis at all, were it not for the looks he was getting from his colleagues at the Prosecutor's Office. Even worse than that; he was certain Winston Payne was getting more murder trials as a result of his little venture with Interpol, and that notion chilled him to the bone. He walked through the door to find that Athena was already waiting for him, seated by the desk and a cup of coffee in her hand. “Hey! Right on time!” she said. “And you are early for once. Am I merely dreaming, or have you earnestly adopted a sense of punctuality?” “Very funny. I wrapped up my investigation with Mr. Wright early, so he dropped me off here. How was your weekend?” Simon slipped himself into his own desk chair and heard it creak under his weight. He really wished Interpol would invest in furniture that hadn't been around for three decades already. “... It was uneventful. And yours?” “About as eventful as a weekend at the Wright Anything Agency is, really.” Athena paused, took a quick sip of her coffee and proceeded with visible discomfort. “… Listen, I thought we should discuss our interviewing strategy before we take on our next subject.” “Our strategy?” Simon asked, uncertain why such a thing would need discussing. “Let's face it, our interview with Furio Tigre was a mess.” “Was it really? We got answers, did we not?” “We could've gotten a lot more if he hadn't stormed out! I don't think either of us really knew how to approach him, so we were all over the place. It's no wonder he got upset.” Simon sniffed loudly. “It's hardly our fault that he has such large toes to step on.” “He was right, though! If we keep working like that, at some point it will go wrong. Now, I know you feel like you need to play the bad cop, but I just don't think that you should. Don't take this the wrong way, but... You're not the bad cop to them.” Tempting as it was to pinch himself for verification, Simon knew he couldn't possibly be dreaming. This was real. Athena had uttered those ludicrous words to him. Well, perhaps he couldn't fault her for her ignorance. She hadn't witnessed his time in prison. He wouldn't have wished her to, either. Still, he could illuminate the situation a bit. “You must be joking. Simply because of the Tiger's attitude problem, you believe our subjects won't take me seriously? For seven years, I was one of the most notorious names in death row. Even the guards knew better than to cross me. I had inmates currying favor with me, groveling for my approval and my mercy.” “Yes, and that was when they believed you actually killed someone,” Athena said in the bluntest of tones. “But you yourself outright said it to Mr. Tigre; you never stained your hands with blood. They know now that you're bluffing. So... I'm really sorry, Simon, but you can't be the bad cop when the person you're trying to threaten knows that you're, well, a good cop. Or prosecutor, in this case.” “And I suppose you would be more intimidating to them? A colorfully-dressed teenage girl? Yes, I'm certain someone like Engarde will be shaking in his manacles at the mere sight of you,” Simon snapped. He knew he was being immature, but it was better to contradict Athena now than to let her make a fool of herself in front of a more dangerous inmate. She'd already pushed her luck with Tigre. “Nobody said we had to play good cop and bad cop in the first place! Gosh!” she huffed at him. “There's other ways to get a person talking, you know. We just need to gain their trust. And I'm not really talking about speaking their own language, either. Think back to Ms. Vasquez and Mr. Retinz. Remember how we got them to be more open with us?” “... We engaged them on their interests,” was Simon's conclusion. With Athena's questions about the Diva Producer's movies and Simon's urging for magic tricks, that seemed to be the common denominator. “Kind of? I think, to put it in broader terms, we gave them what they wanted. We asked them what they wanted to hear; the sort of thing they would want to respond to. Their emotional states played a big part in that too. Mr. Retinz was angry, so of course he'd want to let off steam about his family and the Gramaryes. So what's most important when we first meet with a subject is that we analyze their emotional state and what interests them.” Simon thought back to the interview with Tigre and how this strategy would've been applied to him. The resulting hypothesis led to a mean grimace and he tapped a finger against his forehead. “Hmm... So, had we complimented the Tiger on his absurdly small dog's fashion sense, he would have opened up to us more?” “Hah! You know what? I honestly think he would've!” Athena replied with a wide gin. “Seriously though, you may not be a convicted killer, but you spent all those years in death row anyway. I think that's the best way to play it. Just let them know that you understand what they're going through, and you'll do whatever you can to make it easier for them. Like when you got coffee for Mr. Retinz. That was a smart move.” “What does that make me? The sympathetic cop?” “I think sweet-talking, manipulative cop has a better ring to it, don't you?” “Hah! Manipulative cop is the sort of title I will settle for.” The door to the office opened and in walked Lang. He was carrying a box under one arm and something told Simon they weren't about to be treated to pastries. Sure enough, when it was set down on the desk, there was a distinct rustle of paperwork. Athena greeted him with a cheerful tone, Simon merely hummed in acknowledgment. “So I've got good news and bad news. Which do you two want to hear first?” Lang asked. “Uhhh... I guess the bad news, so we can recover from that with the good news,” was Athena's reply. “Right. I'm needed overseas. Big assignment, can't say too much about it. The bottom line is that I'll be gone for at least a week.” Simon smirked and leaned back in his chair, once again enduring its creaking. “Why, Agent Lang, I believe she asked for the bad news.” “Hah. Very funny, Blackquill. The good news is that I got a few inmates to meet your criteria. You can find the profiles in here,” Lang said, patting the box. “And you can schedule most of the meetings whenever it suits you. Just call the prison, tell them what it's for and they'll arrange everything for you in my place.” “Really?! Thank you, Shifu!” Athena pumped both her fists into the air, then reached for the box. Lang didn't release it just yet, instead pulling it closer to his end of the desk. “Ah. Just one more thing. The profile on top? You gotta do that one first.” “Hah? Why is that?” “Because the subject specifically asked to be included in the project and after looking over his profile, I don't see why not. If it fits, he sits- before you, that is.” Simon's eyes narrowed. “Someone specifically asked to be included? Who told him about the project? I cannot imagine the Cowardly Tiger was singing our praise.” “He sure wasn't, and I'll let your indiscretion slide because from what I hear, nobody listens to Tigre's ranting either way. No, apparently he heard about your work from Roger Retinz. You came 'highly recommended', even.” “Highly recommended? By Mr. Retinz?” Athena looked as if she'd just stepped through a portal into some sort of alternate dimension. Indeed, Simon felt quite the same way. “Yeah. Sounds like you made a friend in there,” Lang said with a shrug. Athena leaned in closer to Simon to whisper under her breath. “The manipulative cop strikes again.” “Mmh, I will have to wind every single one of those butchers around my little finger,” Simon remarked in turn, smirking. “Anyway, the guy wants to see you as soon as possible, so I booked you in for tonight.” And just like that, their amusement had vanished as if it'd been subjected to one of Mr. Reus's magic tricks. Athena threw both arms forward, onto the desk, and put her head down. As for Simon, he'd started so badly that he was sure some vital part of his chair had broken. Without a doubt, something had made a snapping noise. He was now sitting as still as possible so as not to test the structural integrity of the construction without drawing attention to himself. This chair was free to come apart once he was standing upright again. “Tonight?!” Athena wailed against the inside of her left arm. “But I was going to help Mr. Wright sort through clues from our investigation!” “And I must do battle in court tomorrow morning. My case requires due preparation,” Simon insisted, though it was only an excuse. The trial for such an obvious burglary could've been prepared right there in the prosecutor's lobby and he'd still have time to spare. He simply didn't want to spend his evening at the prison. “Well, then you'd better hope this interview won't take long. You can report to the usual place at 7 PM. Once you've worked your way through the rest of the inmates I compiled for you and you've got some results to show for it, I'll see about getting you playdates with the bigger fish.” “Uuugh... Fine...” Athena grumbled. “Good luck, and I'll see you when I get back.” With that, Lang left the office. Almost a minute had passed before Athena mustered up enough energy to reach for the box and open it. She took out the top folder, flipped it open and skimmed the papers inside. Simon, who was still attempting to assess whether his chair would hold or not, didn't dare lean in for a glance of his own. “... Oh, this looks like fun! I mean... as fun as meeting with a convicted killer can be. But the way he tried to cover up the murder and abuse a loophole in the law was pretty clever. I guess that makes sense, seeing as he was some kind of ace detective.” There was a loud crack and a thud as Simon fell to the floor. ------- Date: June 16th 2028 Time: 7:02 PM Location: Interview Room. When he'd first accepted to take part in the project, Simon had dreaded a lot of scenarios- and still did at this very moment. He dreaded that Athena might be hurt, either physically or emotionally. He dreaded facing someone who would be quick to draw a shank. He dreaded failing to bring results to the table, thereby disgracing Interpol's name and betraying the trust the Chief Prosecutor had bestowed on him. To some degree, he even dreaded facing the Phantom, should that day ever come. What he hadn't considered, up until that afternoon, was that he might face the most irritating inmate of all. Luke Atmey. Roger Retinz was no friend of theirs, he knew that for certain now. That damned Greasy Producer must've run his mouth about the project on purpose. There was no one in death row who could stand Atmey's long-winded boasting. Those who would pass him in the hall would avoid making eyecontact to the best of their ability. Those who were doomed to sit at his table in the cafeteria would instead stand in some faraway corner. Those who were scheduled to share a workroom with him would feign acute illness. When it came to being avoided like the plague, not a single violent psychopath in prison could hold a candle to Atmey. This little interview would cost Simon and Athena their entire evening, and for what? For absurd tales about Atmey's elegance and grace? This would be the first and last time that Lang would schedule their meetings for them. Atmey entered in the most flamboyant manner possible, his enormous nose stuck high up in the air and one hand held up like a limp animal paw. At first glance, he might've seemed the sort of man who hadn't been dented in the least by almost ten years in prison, but a smug grin could only hide so much. The dark lines beneath Atmey's one visible eye told Simon more than enough. He came to a full stop before the table and instead of sitting down, he leaned forward to assess the both of them up close with his magnifying glass monocle. Already, Simon's first instinct was to leave. He fought it. “Zvarri! The elegant truth has been revealed to me!” Atmey proclaimed. “The both of you were sent by Interpol, on behalf of the Behavioral Analysis Unit!” “We were not sent by Interpol such much as we were sent for. By you,” Simon replied dryly. “Naturally! I, Luke Atmey, heard whispers of your professional psychological project and saw its powerful potential. That you had not come to me sooner is beyond my grasp.” Simon had quite a few things to say about including pompous, pretentious pricks in their professional psychological project, but held his tongue. He wasn't supposed to be the bad cop. “Haha... Well, we're still getting started, you know,” Athena explained. “Baby steps.” “Aaah, you wished to save the best for last? Understandable! I, Luke Atmey, am indeed the finest dish on the menu, so to speak. But you needn't be intimidated by my greatness! We are all only human!” Athena shot a most impressive Look Simon's way. Something between incredibility, amusement and secondhand embarrassment. The only response he could think to give was a helpless shrug. He had warned her beforehand. She hesitated, then turned her attention to the recording device, only to find that Atmey had already taken hold of it. He pressed record and placed it on the table in the most meticulous of fashions. “There we are. This is Luke Atmey, reporting to you live from the Los Angeles prison. With me now are Prosecutor Simon Blackquill and...” Atmey trailed off, slid the recording device at an arm’s length and cupped a hand to the side of his mouth to shield it, speaking to Athena in a whisper. “What was your name, Miss?” “Ath-Athena Cykes...” “And Miss Athena Cykes!” Atmey finished. “Now, I'm sure you'll want to hear all about my daring, elegant adventures in the field! An Ace Detective has many superb, scintillating stories to share!” “Actually, I thought we should start with this statement Interpol prepared. You see, we’ll be asking you about your family history, antecedent behavior and thought patterns surrounding the-” “Yes, yes, I got the gist of it from Sir Retinz.” “Not the most reliable source of information,” Simon pointed out before he could stop himself. He needed to put their new strategy to the test, he knew that, so he changed his tack. “Perhaps an Ace Detective such as yourself would like to review the statement, so as to be certain there are no loopholes we might employ?” Atmey removed his monocle and began to polish it on the sleeve of his prison garb. “Hmm... Well, I suppose I have ten seconds to spare. Very well.” Athena shot Simon another Look, this time one of excited accomplishment. Following that, she issued the full statement to Atmey, psychological profile, statistical analysis and all. Judging by the furrow of his brow and the way his fingers slowed their movements, the man appeared to be listening intently. “Mmh... What does Interpol's confidentiality clause entail, exactly?” he asked once Athena was done. “Well, ah... The specific answers to our questions will be kept within Interpol and can't be shared with outside sources, I guess?” she looked unsure even as she said it. Had she not read the details at all? “Those outside sources include other types of law-enforcement,” Simon supplied. “It is for that same reason that anything you say here cannot be used against you in your applications for parole. If the LAPD or the Prosecutor's Office were to request so much as a sample of these recordings, their request would be struck down without delay.” “Well, that's a shame, isn't it? This is about posterity! I, Luke Atmey, do hereby give anyone who has a desire for it full permission to review the recordings!” “... Right.” “Now, you'll want to know all about some of the amazing cases I've solved!” Atmey stated, lacing his fingers together and stretching them in a leisurely fashion. “Oh! Yes!” Athena opened her folder and tapped at it with a finger. “In particular, we're interested in your involvement with Mask☆DeMasque and the death of-” “No, no, no no no nooo,” Atmey tutted. “How boring! I've talked about that case so often, it would dry my tongue. No, let's talk about some other cases, shall we? I, Luke Atmey, did not gain the title of Ace Detective for nothing.” “I was under the impression you knighted yourself an Ace Detective,” Simon remarked. Atmey pretended not to have heard him. “Let's start from the beginning! My very first case! It was the year 2011! I was a mere twenty seven years old at the time and I had only just opened my doors to the world as a private detective. A fresh-faced rookie, I was eager to prove my worth. In came a woman wearing a red dress- and I remember this distinctly. I have a very keen eye for details, you see, as any detective ought to have. In she walked, and I could see on her face that she-” Simon refused to listen to any more of this tripe. He drew a few calming breaths and leaned back in his chair. Atmey's voice droned on and on in the background as if it were the chatter of distant birds. He closed his eyes for a moment. ------- Date: June 16th 2028 Time: 7:38 PM Location: Interview Room. Sudden pain exploded near Simon's shin, starting him back into awareness. He was sitting. He'd just been kicked. Athena was glaring at him and... Atmey was still talking. The man must've been oblivious to what'd occurred, as he looked quite carefree. “-And so ended my second case, which I like to refer to as Luke Atmey and the Missing Macademias. It is a reference, you see. Quite clever, if I do say so myself. Wasn't it just the most thrilling thing you've ever heard? Now, for the third case I tackled single-handedly-” Athena nudged his arm with her elbow, her eyes narrowing even further. Evidently, she'd been unable to stop Atmey's rambling and was now looking to him for assistance. Tempting as it was to shout the word “silence” loud enough to shatter windows, this was not at all the strategy to stick to. He had to give Atmey what he wanted, so... what did the man want? A listening ear, obviously, yet it was more than that. Atmey wanted a chance to boast. If that was the case, they simply needed to change the way they formulated their questions. “If I may interject,” he said, moving his chair closer to the table and leaning forward. “These tales are all quite interesting, but I do believe the details of your detective career were already recorded in your autobiography.” “Oh! You've heard of my autobiography?” Atmey looked positively delighted. “... I have heard of it, yes,” Simon said slowly, as there was only one source who'd kept bringing it up these past seven years and that source was sitting right in front of him. “However, as I've been unable to attain a copy for myself-” “-Oh, what a shame!” “Yes. A shame. As I was saying, I have not perused it myself and I find myself wondering... Does this autobiography also describe the illustrious Atmey family? As the apple does not often roll too far from the tree, I expect that they must all be successful go-getters such as yourself.” A cringe flashed across Atmey's face, just for a second. Then he was right back to talking. “Yes, yes of course! I'm afraid they aren't mentioned all too much in my book, as their ventures would be too elaborate to describe. Why, every single one of my siblings would be deserving of their own book, and so... Well, I would hate to bank on their glory.” “How many siblings do you have?” Athena asked him. “Seven,” said Atmey. “SEVEN?!” “I have four brothers and three sisters, yes. I was the youngest of eight.” Atmey removed his monocle as he spoke, once again idly polishing it with his sleeve. The most it accomplished was that a greasy blur spread itself out across the glass. “Just as Sir Prosecutor theorized, the Atmey family is quite known for its success. One of my brothers is working with the GYAXA space project to design rockets, another is a top plastic surgeon in Miami... Two of my sisters are the CEO of their own companies... As I said, each one of them would deserve their own biography.” Athena pumped both her fists, excited. “So... Are you like rivals? Do you all compete to show off your best accomplishments when you get together for Christmas? Ooh, I can see it now!” “No, no... Such a thing would be petty and quite beneath the Atmey family. We each value our own worth. There is nothing to prove.” “Even if there was nothing to prove, you must've tried very hard to live up their standards, right?” “Hum... Success comes naturally to any member of the Atmey family, or so they say.” Simon cast a quick glance towards Athena, wondering whether Atmey's voice might've betrayed some sort of emotion, but she was unreadable, just as the notes were that she was taking. When Atmey placed his monocle back before his eye, it was so smudged that one had to wonder whether he could see anything at all. “The Atmey family sounds a formidable, elegant group indeed,” Simon remarked. “They must have come to visit you in prison, yes?” Once again, Atmey cringed. “Ah. Well... They are quite busy, as anyone in our family tends to be. None of them live in Los Angeles, currently, and so it would be entirely too... Too much of a hassle. I have received letters, of course!” Simon glanced towards his partner and this time, Athena did show dismay. Whether it stemmed from Atmey's words or the feeling behind them was debatable. Regardless, she took a few more notes. “What a shame. Family may be considered one of the most important things in the world,” Simon mused. Then he realized that he was speaking to a convicted felon. “Though... Whenever my darling sister visited, she would rub my situation in my face. Quite a vindictive one, she is. Perhaps limiting communication to courteous letters would be a blessing.” “Perhaps...” said Atmey. Interesting. Taking into account a situation where eight siblings were all too occupied to pay notice to one another, it made sense for the youngest of the lot to be thirsty for attention. Atmey must've scrambled to keep up with their reputations quite a bit, as well. With those conclusions in mind, Simon attempted to divert the topic back to the murder of Kane Bullard. They were about to enter the thick of the jungle. “If I may be so bold... I took the liberty of reading through the transcripts of the Mask☆DeMasque trials. You fought some fierce battles, I must say. Your attempt to target a weak spot in the law's armor by utilizing double jeopardy, in particular, I found to be a stroke of genius.” “Oh... Did you really? Coming from a prosecutor, that is quite the compliment indeed.” Atmey smiled at him, but it was not at all a pompous smirk. It was, if anything, born from gratitude. “Yes, I had hoped... Well, no criminal is meant to get away with their crimes, of course. It just goes to show that I am an Ace Detective, not an Ace Murderer. Don't quit your day job, or so they say. Even so, it's disappointing that one man could see through my ruse.” “Mmh, what's important is that you went down fighting. Isn't that so?” “Yes... Quite right. Atmeys are nothing if not determined and I, Luke Atmey, am perhaps the most determined of the lot.” “Now, there was one thing in particular that caught my eye in the transcripts. I had hoped that you could clarify the matter for me, as I find it quite puzzling.” “Ooh, a puzzle?” Simon had Atmey's full attention, now. The former detective looked beside himself to be presented with a conundrum, his fingers drumming along the table. How unfortunate, then, that Simon was sure this was one mystery Atmey might wish to leave unsolved. The only way to be certain would be to ask. “... You said, and I believe this to be a direct quote: “Take a good look, everyone. Unable to find a rival worthy of my genius, I was forced to create one by myself. Here I am. The tragic clown.” Do you recall these words?” Atmey's complexion had drained quite fast. He withdrew from the table, looking as if he was suffering from pain, or perhaps embarrassment. “Ah. Hum. Yes. That does sound like... something I may have proclaimed in the courtroom, yes.” “Then, my question is as follows. Why did you identify yourself as the tragic clown?” “Elementary! It is a reference to Pagliacci! It's a well-known opera. The tears of a clown! Have you truly never heard of it, Sir Prosecutor?” Simon had expected that answer. Athena, it seemed, was missing the point. “I think I've heard of it...” she mused. “It's that story where a man and his wife are part of an acting troupe, known for a play where a clown finds out his wife is cheating on him. Except then, just before going on, the man playing the clown discovers that his wife is really cheating on him. He murders her on-stage, and the audience believes it's all part of the play.” “Yes, yes! That is Pagliacci! See, your assistant knows of it.” Athena hummed quietly, tilting her head. “... It is strange that you would compare yourself to Pagliacci, I suppose. I don't see what it has to do with blackmailing Mask☆DeMasque into working for you, or with killing the man who was blackmailing you.” “That is not what caught my eye about the proclamation,” Simon said. “What puzzled me is that a brilliant detective would lower himself to the same level as a clown at all.” “I beg your pardon?” Atmey asked, looking rattled. “Oedipus, MacBeth, Death of a Salesman, the Great Gatsby... Ah, yes, Javert from Les Misérables is another good example... My question is, why choose a tragic clown when there are more than enough tragic heroes to choose from?” Atmey was so startled, the monocle sprang away from his eye and hit the ground a few feet from his chair. “I... I... Well, that is to say... I don't know...!” There was a very long silence. Nobody dared to speak. Finally, Athena got up and reached for the monocle. There was a crack running along the glass. She frowned down at it, then handed it back to Atmey. “I see,” Simon concluded. “Well, no matter. Be it as a clown or as a hero, I'm sure you will be remembered as a tragic figure all the same.” “Yes... Ah. Thank you.” Still shaken, Atmey was no longer meeting their eyes. Instead, he peered down at the monocle in his hand, forlorn. They'd gained enough to think about from this interview, and apparently, they'd returned this sentiment the other way around. “Thank you for your time, Mr. Atmey,” Simon said, pushing himself to his feet. “Yes, thank you!” Athena chimed in, more cheerful and less formal than the situation might've called for. “We'll visit again if we have more questions.” “Oh. No, that... I don't believe that to be necessary. You must have other things to do.” It wasn't until about five seconds had passed and Athena was already reaching for the recording device that something inside Simon's head clicked. He froze in his tracks and his hand shot towards the device as well, shielding the 'stop' button from Athena's finger. There was one more question to ask. One thing which Simon had overlooked, because he'd categorized it as 'frustrating' and nothing more. “Why did you insist on scheduling this interview today? Could it be...?” “They didn't inform you?” Atmey paused, then raised his cracked magnifying glass to observe Simon closely. “Aaahhh, zvarri! You've figured it on your own, have you? Marvelous! You would make a wonderful detective.” Simon cringed. A prosecutor had no place deducing these sorts of things, he felt. A prosecutor was meant to deal with the truth after it had already been exposed. Athena, as it turned out, hadn't followed Simon's train of thought. She peered back and forth between the two men, her nose crinkled with concentration. “What? Figured what out?” she asked. “Why, he's realized that soon, the opportunity to schedule an interview would be lost,” Atmey said. Simon had never liked Atmey, yet that didn't stop the cold chill from running down his spine. This turn of events was inevitable, a fact of life and horrible all at the same time. He remembered the screams of those who were about to be subjected to that same fate. He could close his eyes and visualize how they would be dragged down the halls of death row by several guards, their attempts to dig their heels into the ground nothing more than futile scrapes. “How soon?” he asked, unable to keep a strained, anxious tone from his voice. Atmey spread his arms out, almost as if he were welcoming what was about to be said. “My execution is to take place two days from now.” To Be Continued
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adventuresinawonderland · 7 years ago
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Arrow 6x04 Reversal
Main take away: THIS SHIP SAILS ITSELF. (need I say more?) I’d just like to state first how sorry I am for doubting this ep; but also shaming that misleading, BS heavy trailer from last wk. Not cool bro. This was another good episode tonight. Mostly cause Olicity was back together working as a team doing what they do best. Communication was so on point I could’ve cried & did cause of course. We finally met Caden James this ep, he seems friendly. (‘CJ’ going forward cause I can’t be bothered writing out “Caden James” till the end of time.) And another thing, I took notes this time around so go me. Apologies in advance for them being a lil all over the place. I tried sorting them into categories... I think it worked. So let’s get into it. *SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT*
*OLICITY* (I couldn’t save it for last this time so enjoy!)
To summarize: They’re the cutest most badass superhero couple ever. This everything I could’ve ever hoped for!!!
William wanted to come to dinner!!! If they don’t go on a lil mini playdate date in the future I will riot.
Felicity’s hair is goals; so damn stunning!! I forgot how much I missed her long flowing locks; FUCK! ALSO THAT DRESS! If I wasn’t gay before.
“I wasn’t ready then… not like I am now.” -Oliver
“Ah, are you to back together? Such a sweet couple.” I am this old lady. She is my essence, I bow to you!
“I’m the mayor’s girlfriend now” -Felicity WRITE THIS ON MY TOMBSTONE
SHE LITERALLY MADE OUT WITH HIS FACE?! IS THIS REAL LIFE OR A FANFIC AHHHHH!!! (Not once but TWICE. I’m fine!)
“I’m home now if you want some dessert… yes that was intentionally suggestive.” AHHHHHHHHH!!! I could get used to this. I guess this also answers my random question from 6X01 of whether or not O/F live in the same apartment/condo complex. Since it took Oliver a while to show up after the “dessert” comment.
OLICITY COMMUNICATION…. YASSS!! I knew they had it in them. This is what a healthy relationship looks like!!
The Shadow Stormtrooper called & he want’s his mask back. (god I’m such a nerd) LMAO IT WAS OLIVER I’M DYING. PROTECTIVE OLIVER FOR THE WIN THO.
“Even if we weren’t together you were always there with me… You were literally in my ear, every second I was in the field. I want the chance to be their for you the way you’ve been there for me.” -Oliver  -ugly sobbing; I’M SO HAPPY!!!!!!!
CURTIS NOT NOW!! THEY WERE ABOUT TO MAKE OUT ON THE COUCH GOD DAMN IT!!
“Maybe doing this solo wasn’t such a good idea.” “Good thing you’re not alone” AHHHHHHHHHHH CAN YOU HEAR MY SHIPPER HEART SING?!!
“I know this; you can do it. I believe in you.” SET ME ON FIRE!!
THEY LEFT THE BUNKER HOLDING HANDS AHHH THIS IS BETTER THAN ANY DREAM EVER!!
UP AGAINST THE WALL & COUCH MAKEOUT ALL IN ONE EP?! THIS IS WHAT SHIPPER HEAVEN IS.
Cayden James First impressions: Has potential to be a BIG nuisance, still too early to tell. Definitely commands the room, so he has that going for him. A bit monotone but I can work with that. His creepy obsession w/ Felicity’s skills is unnerving, so that’s chill. He is basically North Korea/Japan 2.0 via the Internet kinda? I think? Awesome. Can’t wait to see Felicity/Curtis/Elena kick his ass on multiple occasions.
Other Thoughts...
I WAS SO PISSED WHEN THE SHORT HAIRED LADY TURNED OUT TO BE BS & NOT MY PRECIOUS THEA -growls;
Seeing Oliver get left out in the cold is sooo sad. Poor baby. I think he should be allowed to be apart of the team sometimes. I mean c’mon.
Black Widow > BS. How dare you insult ScarJo like this. Disgusting.
“...You get your ass back there & get your man” YAS CURTIS!!
ELENA!!! BABY GIRL!! I’m suspicious obviously, gonna be treading lightly. Please don’t double cross us honey, I don’t think my heart could take it.
Oliver’s under 24/7 FBI surveillance? Since when? Did FBI chick say that at some point cause idr. This is how much I care about that subplot.
Diggle being the ultimate Felicity fanboy.<3
Felicity precious baby. Girl needs a hug, & to take a bubble bath w/ a Lush bathbomb & some wine. Thanks Dig for the shower suggestion tho. I really hope this ‘Felicity being run into the ground because of the team/startup/relationship’ thing doesn’t become a new theme. 
AHHHH FELICITY IN THE FIELD WITH EVERYONE YAS QUEEN!!
I’m getting real tired of this notion that Dinah Drake can take multiple assailants  and not break so much as a sweat. But can’t hold her own against BS when it was already established that she was a better fighter and had a stronger Canary Cry. She better kick her ass by the end of the season. This retconning is BS & I won’t stand for it. (Thank you @blackcanarydinah for saying what I’ve been thinking for a very long time)
Curtis & Felicity & Elena working on the start up & replicating her spinal implant Yes please!! Helix Dynamics. I can roll with that, just as long as Smoak Technologies is the ultimate goal. When Felicity says that title I will scream.
*HEADS UP* I’m gonna keep this short & simple. Or at least try to... I don’t like BS, & I haven’t since she was first introduced. I also don’t like KC. So this is basically a double whammy of awful for me. That being said I will never EVER apologize for what I say about her or BS. If you have any comments please do so with respect. 
Now that that’s out of the way...
BS was so unnecessary for this ep, & I’m not just saying this. Just think about it for a sec. If you take her out of the equation nothing is lost. You’re telling me this was the ONLY way to get those fingerprints? The writers have been claiming since last season about how smart CJ is so what gives. I’m 100 billion % certain he could’ve come up with any other way to acquire those fingerprints. But instead we are left w/ KC’s emotionless line reading & rigid stance. It’s called emoting/inflection KC, look it up. Half the time she looked like she was starring into space or confused by what she was supposed to do. She knows she’s being filmed right? Example...  CJ: -tells her to go do a thing; BS: -confused look; Huh me?  CJ: -walks away; BS: -continues to stand there like an imbecile into the camera expressionless;
A good actor would you know do an evil smirk or something but oh well.
That’s all I have to say on my end. Next wk seems to be very Slade Wilson heavy, so that should be fun & interesting. Till txt time!!
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dorothydelgadillo · 7 years ago
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The F Word: Nevertheless, She Parented
Welcome to The F Word, where we, Skillcrush staffers Lauren Lang and special guest Maren Vernon, discuss issues that impact all of us—both in and out of the workplace. We know that, for us, coming to understand the f-word (in this case, feminism), and how important it is in the scope of our lives, didn’t happen overnight. We hope you’ll join us once a month as we meet to discuss power, identity, and the changes we want to see in the world.
Lauren: Maren, welcome to the F-Word! It’s so great to be with you today chatting about the joys of feminist parenting—and specifically, motherhood.
Maren: Thanks, Lauren! I have my cup of coffee in hand. I’ve taken a deep breath. And I’m ready to jump in.
Lauren: With three kids (all girls) between us, you and I have some insight into what being a mom is really like. And man, it’s tough. I’m constantly running interference against mean kids at school, media messaging that disrespects women in any number of ways, and the little microaggressions that fly under the radar and become tiny, but growing, insecurities in my daughter’s spirit.
On the heels of Oprah’s AMAZING Golden Globes speech where she envisions a “new day on the horizon” where “nobody ever has to say ‘me too’ again,” this is the future parents also aspire to. But it can seem like an insurmountable task to shield our kids from the reality of the world in 2018. Where do we start?
Maren: I’m starting to think I should have brought wine to calm my nerves when I think of everything they are facing… But Oprah’s speech!
My gals are still young and just starting in school but my kids are not only girls but girls of color, and finding the line between preparing them and not scaring them is something my husband and I talk about a lot. I can tell you that an early way I’m trying to raise them to feel they can do anything and ignore the haters is through stories and good role modeling.
I used to work in publishing, so books will always be important in my house. I like to look for picture books—since that is the stage we are in—with strong, and ideally diverse, female characters using their smarts and creativity to problem solve, lead, or demonstrate kindness. I could name books all day but Pocket Full of Colors (about Mary Blair), Drum Dream Girl;I Am Truly; She Persisted; Ada Twist, Scientist; and Rosie Revere, Engineer spring to mind as particularly great examples.
Of course my struggle is that I want them to feel independent and in control of the course their life takes, buuuuuut I also need them to listen when I say, “Come on, dude, that is not a great idea.” So we find ways to negotiate and I let them take the lead when appropriate. Just yesterday my oldest snuck business cards out of my office to give to friends so they could get their moms to schedule playdates with me. I caught her with the cards as she headed into school, but I appreciated her pluck and determination and I let her move forward with her plan. How have you started introducing The F Word in your household?
Lauren: Okay, business cards? Genius.
I wholeheartedly agree with you about choosing media with strong depictions of women. My daughter loves the Rebel Girls book series, which features small vignettes and beautiful illustrations of notable women and girls throughout history who have exhibited strength and determination (including the women featured in Hidden Figures, which she loved). We talk openly about these women’s struggles and the discrimination they’ve worked to overcome—based on gender, yes, but also race or ethnicity or religion or age or ability or sexual orientation. These books have been a great resource both for empowering my daughter and also spurring deep discussions about her own privilege.
So media is important… BUT I agree that the best opportunity to introduce feminism—both to girls and to boys—is to teach the concept by example and model what feminism looks like. It looks like empowering and respecting our children, expecting them to respect others, and empowering them to speak up when they feel unsafe. It looks like mothers who have agency and confidence and it looks like fathers who understand consent and who listen. It looks like the world that Her Majesty Queen Oprah says that we want for our children.
And it benefits us as mothers to find what that looks like too, because SOCIETY HAS NOT GOTTEN THE MEMO. There is so much pressure on mothers to do everything right and to have perfectly behaved and brilliant children at all times, and to never, ever lose our patience. And so, feminist motherhood is just as much about how we as women consciously choose to construct ourselves as parents, by bucking those impossible standards and finding what works for us. Maren, there are so, so many ways to “fail” as a mother, to the extent that—SPOILER ALERT!—there is literally no way to “succeed.” So let’s get specific: What criticism do you face about your role as a parent?
Maren: I find external criticism most often comes in comments along the lines of, “Working and mothering and side hustles… You should give yourself a break. You are trying to do too much.” The implication is: You should focus more on being a mother.
Usually the things I love to do—that make me feel fulfilled outside of being a parent—are the first things I’m expected to cut out. Then that just leaves me grumpy and resentful. Does that make me a better parent? No.
I need the side hustle or the part-time job that keeps me intellectually curious. I have fun doing art projects with my kids or exploring the science museum, but I also need challenges and positive stress and to learn new things. (Let me take a moment to acknowledge my privilege that I even have some choices to make, and also to say that just like I don’t want to be judged for my choice, I’m not going to judge another’s path. I’m just acknowledging that wouldn’t be living as my authentic self.)
I started learning to code (with Skillcrush!) when my first was about a year old. I’d suffered from some postpartum depression and was generally feeling down about my abilities and intellect because parenting was a lot harder than I expected, and despite all the reading and prep, I didn’t feel like some things came as easy to me (and social media was NOT helping). I’m not lying when I say that learning to code gave me my confidence back. Maybe my kid didn’t sleep through the night last night and refused to eat the ten different foods I prepared but, hey! I got that image to float beside some text! I am good at something! It was the outlet and challenge I needed to get my mojo back. And you know what? When I felt better about myself, I know I became a mom who was more fun to be around. Losing your identity is no joke.
What criticisms have you faced as a parent, Lauren, and how have you dealt with it?
Lauren: There is SO much here that resonates with my experience, particularly in the idea that I have a right to make a choice to be a multidimensional human being whose existence is not fulfilled entirely by my child—and the notion that this choice is actually a positive thing for her to witness. THE HORROR: a mother who is also a person with interests and talents and—gasp���ambitions!
If I reveal myself to be stressed or anxious about ANYTHING in my life, you’re right—I receive unsolicited advice that the first thing to go should be what makes me happy. The message is clear: My career is a luxury, and any mission I value outside of motherhood is somehow deeply unfair to my daughter—even when, ironically, that mission is to create a world in which she is empowered and free.
So how have I dealt with it? I keep doing what brings me deep satisfaction. I try to tune out the noise and follow my true north. And in doing so, I show my child the best possible person I can be. I try my best, and sometimes I’m a shitty mom. (And sometimes I’m a shitty employee and sometimes I’m a shitty spouse and sometimes I’m shitty at keeping my shit together.) But I think I’m okay with that. Perfection is for Beyonce, and she has help. And speaking of support, what roles do you think male partners have in all this? Heterosexual coupling puts vastly differently expectations for how mothers and fathers interact with their children: a mom who takes her kid to the park is like the default while the dad who does the same is OMG THE BEST DAD EVER. Or a dad who slightly raises his voice to his kids is giving some “tough love” while a mom who does the same is a horrible person who should have her kids taken away. What do we take from this double standard?
Maren: I’m incredibly lucky to have a husband doesn’t expect me to fall in lockstep with gender roles, but at the moment he is the primary breadwinner and I am the lead parent. So by default I am expected to know what is going on with their schools and their friends and to volunteer for all the things and get the laundry done and have food in the house. And those efforts feel rarely acknowledged.
But just because I am the lead parent doesn’t change the fact that sometimes I want to spend an hour coding, rather than at the park with my children. And the fact that, when I think about doing something for me or for my career, I almost immediately consider it to be selfish—is problematic. I’m criticizing myself before anyone else has the chance to.
Lauren: YES. I think a lot of it comes down to the concept of “emotional labor,” right? This idea that women have to shoulder so much of the unseen knowledge and work to keep everything running smoothly—and a lot of that is learned behavior.
One way I’ve experimented with lessening the burden of all there is to do is just by…dropping some of it. (#badmomconfessions)
I’ve stopped monitoring whether there’s milk in the fridge or whether library books are in the backpack on library day at school. Practicing personal responsibility should come at an early age…and picking up a young able-bodied person’s dishes and transporting them to the dishwasher for her? Or picking out the perfect birthday gift for my husband’s mother, when he’s known her 20 years longer than I have? Nope! Ain’t nobody got time for that.
And it’s not that I would never do any of these things—I often have. I love my family. But it’s been a long unwinding of the expectation that I will, just because my ovaries make it so.
Maren: Are we long lost twins?! My anal-retentive nature will probably never let me forget how much toilet paper is in the house at any given time, but the house chores are gender neutral and everyone can pitch in in some way shape or form, big or little. Don’t like the chore I’ve offered you? Pitch me a compromise! My husband and I definitely do that. Never too early to practice those job skills, right?
Lauren: HA! Totally. Okay, Maren, last question! And this is a fun one. :) What is, to you, the absolute best part of being a parent? What did you never anticipate about having these little people in your life that has been delightful and surprising? For me, it’s been experiencing my daughter’s wicked sense of humor, which grows sharper and drier by the day. She’s only seven, and I can’t believe what she comes up with as it is—not to mention in 20 years when she has her own HBO stand-up special.
Maren: I love that! I think what has been fun for me is seeing the things they create out of seemingly nothing. It really is true that some buttons and a cardboard tube and some pencils and a mismatched sock can suddenly entertain them for an hour and is ten times more fun than anything I’d buy. I really just need to step back and get out of their way and let them have agency over the project (that includes letting them sort out their differences because I can’t always be there to fight their battles). It is so fascinating to watch how their minds work, and I’m often inspired by new ideas or challenged by them to step outside my comfort zone.
from Web Developers World https://skillcrush.com/2018/01/17/feminist-parenting-working-moms/
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