#yes i have spreadsheets for just an insane amount of things

[simsmadegeeky]

82 Default Hairs Uploaded

to my sfs default-female folder!

Click here for a spreadsheet with list of defaulted hairs (sheets 1 & 2), as well as previews (sheets 3 & 4).*

Sometimes you have to live with the honesty of your faults and one of mine is that, for whatever reason, I have a huge block when it comes to writing posts about the default hairs I make. I don't know why but here we are. And I've been sitting on these 82(!!!!) hairs trying motivate myself to make a post for them for ages. (With these, I've done all but 52 of the female hairs!)

So, y'know, fuck it! Here they are! Every single .rar file has an image of the hair and credits for anything involved with the hair that I could find: creator, converter (if applicable), original defaulter, the texture (Sunshine), who originally textured it (mostly me but sometimes another sunshiner), the creator of the model I used, and anything else (like the default skins and eyes I use) are on my bodyshop resource page. I'm hoping that at some point I'll make individual posts for hairs but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

*In case you don't know what I mean by "sheets", if you look down at the bottom right of the spreadsheet, you'll see four tabs (female, male, preview-f, preview-m). Each of those tabs is a sheet.

[atlitudes]

I'm Cataloging Every Occurrence of the Piano in Malevolent in a Spreadsheet for Leitmotif Analysis. No, I'm Not Kidding.

As the title of this post reads, I've spent the last few weeks listening to every episode of Malevolent and logging every time the piano is heard (both within the story and as background score), to analyze the data for leitmotif/music based theory-crafting. I originally was planning on getting through the entire series before posting anything, but I am very quickly realizing that this is going to take me a while, and I start a new semester in two weeks, so there is a high likelihood I will not finish before I get too busy to chug through as many episodes a day as I am now. I'm on episode 16/44 and I've already logged 137 instances of piano music. I'm not even halfway done. And this is all I've been doing for the past multiple days. For this reason, I've decided to post the link to the spreadsheet before finishing.

If you're familiar with Malevolent, and just how much music is in it, you might be asking, "OP, are you utterly fucking insane?" And well, dear reader, the answer to that is probably yes, but while you might call it madness, I call it love. So, before getting into the meat of things, I wanted to explain why I even decided to do this. Spoilers ahead for Malevolent (obvious, but yeah). If you don't give a single shit about why I did this and want to get straight to the sheet, scroll to the bottom for the link.

So. About 2 weeks ago I finished my first listen-through of Malevolent. One thing about the most recent episodes struck me as very very significant: John and Arthur's "collective force" being titled as the Dies Irae.

Now, a full-bodied explanation of why I find this so important and the possible implications will come at a later date, but long story short, the Dies Irae is a very significant piece of musical literature-- it is, perhaps, the most commonly quoted leitmotif of the past 800 years, and it symbolizes death. So, understandably, the Themes of this kinda sent me down a spiral.

But the Dies Irae being mentioned in such a way also got me thinking: music is a pretty integral part of Malevolent. So, is the Dies Irae quoted anywhere in its soundtrack? I suddenly got very very excited at this prospect, particularly if it might be in Faroe's Song, because well... god that would hurt lol. I scoured the available songs on the bandcamp aaaaand... no luck (as far as I can tell). Regardless, even if the Dies Irae wasn't a part of the soundtrack, I became curious about what kind of leitmotifs were in the podcast, and what they might mean. And so, the spreadsheet was born.

I explain this in the User Guide part of the sheet (please read it before going through the rest btw), but I only track the piano parts of the podcast. The reason for this is two-fold:

First, score wise, piano is very easy for me to pick apart, and I don't see a lot of significance in the suspenseful string music for horror moments (though I don't deny there might be something to it, I simply won't be able to find it.) To me, the piano is also significantly more important than the strings because it's a notable part of the story-- Arthur and his relation to the instrument is a key part of the plot, and multiple of the piano compositions are made by him. For this reason, I found tracking the piano in the podcast worthwhile.

Second, I also don't touch any of the non-original radio tracks in the podcast (i.e. You Call It Madness (I Call It Love)) because this video by The Final Fantasmagorie already does an excellent job of covering them (please check it out!!), and I felt it would be redundant, especially considering the astronomical amount of ground I already have to cover. If these tracks start being featured as leitmotifs in the piano music then... well, I might change my mind, but so far, no dice.

If I noticed a non-piano piece of music (such as the wraith humming in Ep3) that I haven't found any analysis of whatsoever, I also noted it just so there was some record. Other than that, just piano tracks.

Explanations and disclaimers out of the way, here is the link to the spreadsheet. I might open it up to comments and/or editors at some point, but for now, it's just available to viewers. Once again, please read the disclaimer and user guide before the rest of the sheets.

Thanks for reading, I know this was a very long post, and I appreciate it if you've beared with me! Enjoy!

[wannab-urs]

The Spreadsheet Digest - Vol 19

Hi friends!

Thanks for being patient with me -- I had one hell of a day yesterday and didn't get the Digest out when I usually do. It's short this week: only 10 fics (still not bad, considering, lmao). I read a 40 chapter fic this week that was about 400k words (rec'd below) and I was hooked (am hooked, I have like 5 chapters left). Apologies to all my moots whose fics I have ignored in favor of having my face buried in AO3 for a week, I'm catching up now!

As always you can find the Spreadsheet here and all of my previous fic recs here. Tag me in your fics if you want to be included in a future Digest :)

Recs below the Pedro in a v nice suit:

you can't trust anyone these days - a Joel/Tess one shot by @walkintotheriveranddisappear

TW Noncon - read the warnings - I really thought this was such an interesting take on Raider!Joel. I don't usually see Tess there with him and I also liked the power dynamics/trust thing going on. The plot twist? That was everything!

All over you - a Javi G drabble by @theywhowriteandknowthings

This is super fucking hot ah!! I love needy men who can't wait to get their hands on you. You're at a fancy party with Javi G and you look so hot he has to drag you into a closet. So good

Take My Hand - a Pero Tovar one shot by @pedrito-friskito

Okay so the prompt ended up being Pero Tovar, “is this real? are…are you real?” for fluff and “take off your clothes before I rip them off your body” for smut. And it's perfect. It's got this touch of angst, but it's so fluffy and sweet and then the smut is so hot. I am in love

John Wayne - a Joel one shot by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

SOOOO fuckin sweet, man. Like it's heartbreaking obvi. You show up in Jackson and Maria is all "this is my husband Tommy" and you're like that's the brother of the love of my life (pre-outbreak). And I won't spoil what happens but I love it so fucking much

Cherub - a Joel series by @cherubispunk

TW Dubcon - read the warnings - Mean old trailer park drug dealer Joel? The mouth on that man... Yeah this is filthy in the best way.

Stay - a Javi P one shot by @millerscoffee

Motherfuckin daddy kink with Javi P???? Hell yes. Yes on every level. This is so fucking hot ugh. The mouth on that man is criminal.

Religious Corruption - a Dave York two shot by @absurdthirst

Just reading the fuckin warnings/content summary on this fic got me screaming. Reader is an innocent virgin beginning her freshman year at a very religious school and she gets a crush on her professor, Dave York. This is not your average loss of innocence fic, not your average Dave York fic, not your average professor fic.... This is unlike pretty much anything else I've ever read and I loved it. It's sweeter than you might expect, but it's got penty of angst and the smut is insane.

I Will Always Find You a Din series by @lahooozaherr

Bodyguard!Din is one of my favorite things ever, seriously. I have only read the first chapter of this, but I'm so excited to read more. The way the whole first part of this fic is a flashback and you know eventually you get kidnapped???? It gives you this feeling of doom the whole time you're reading lmao (good thing, I promise) but like... our Mandalorian is gonna save us, yeah?

Be-All and Endor - a Din series by @djarins-cyare

Listen... this is the most well researched Din fic I have ever read. The amount of thought that went into this fic is insane. The linguistics are fascinating -- I think she absolutely nails the voice of everyone in this fic, especially Din. The knowledge of Mando'a and Ewokese on display here is incredible and if you ever wanted to hear Din Djarin growl strings of (actually coherent) Mando'a (with thorough translations) right into your ear... This fic is for you. The characterization and the way that every single decision made by Reader and Din make sense and build to such a gorgeous character arc? UGH. And while you have to wait... a long time... for smut -- it is so worth it. GODS this fic is gorgeous. I love it so fuckin much. (This is the one I was talking about in the intro)

Breaking in the new house - a Din one shot by @beskarandblasters

AHHHH this is so fucking hot. It's literally husband (so helmetless)!Din fucking you on like every surface of your house on Nevarro. There is not a refractory period in sight in this fic and I love it with all my heart. He is so hot, I want to die. <3

--------------- my fics --------------

I finally made a masterlist for A Ghost of You and updated all the headers which I'm very excited about. I also added a new fic to that series called Faulty System. The series is a mostly angsty, sometimes smutty Dieter Bravo x f!reader fic.

---------- Oldies but Goodies ----------

Here's some fics from before I did the digest or made commentary!

Jack Daniels x tattoo parlour AU - a Jack one shot by @fuckyeahdindjarin

Early Morning Moments - a Dieter one shot by Jazzelsaur on AO3

Over and Done With - a Javi P one shot @loquaciousferret

Every fic by @frannyzooey (I have too many of her fics on my spreadsheet to rec separately lmao)

In an Instant - a Joel one shot by @mishasminion360

A fool for you - a Joel one shot by @supernaturalgirl20

It would be - a Din Series by @fuckyeahdindjarin

------------------------------------

Happy Reading!

[hua-fei-hua]

hey! i stumbled across you on ao3 through genshin (i think? that was in september i have no idea at this point), went to check out your profile and saw my hero academia works there. i am currently very much into it, so i was like let's gooo sooo I found B♭ and that has been a wild journey.

firstly, i don't have any experience with american school system, so a lot of worldbuilding was new for me. moreover, marching band is something from another universe(aka music lover but never got educated on the matter), so fic constantly challenged me with new details-concepts-vocabulary. stepping outside of your comfort zone while reading? great idea! i think i never learned so much from a fic while enjoying it so much ^^

secondly, i am simply amazed by sheer amount of effort you put into it. i decided to read in publishing order, so non-chronological really impressed me. you're honestly a mastermind being able to pull that off. also, having a song for every chapter with specifically picked out lyrics relevant to the content is so, so cool! the diversity of your playlists should be astonishing, i'm jealous :)

thirdly, the characters are just so real. i love all the canon references, i love the reactions that don't feel exagerrated or too mild. they are acting...exactly as i would expect them to in that circumstances and setting. i just accepted leads' ways of thinking and reflecting so naturally

i also read the extra notes when they were available and just...how much thought is put in is mezmerising. for some reason i never thought pulling directly from your life experiences when writing? but it actually makes a lot of sense and it brought me some ideas to try out so hehe ;)

as i am very smart and hadn't scrolled down on the order post, i didn't see until quite late in the reading that the end of perfect harmony is published as notes, so that was a surprise. i understand your reasons and the fact that you're not even in the fandom anymore, but you mentioned in some extra notes that it's ok to ask for them even if years passed so...here i am three years after, complimenting B♭ :D

anyway, i finished it a couple of days ago, and even the notes are quite detailed. images of described shenanigans popped into my head just like that, and i really appreciate that you published them and i got to know what happened next!!

i actually wondered why were the comments disabled since i really wanted to comment on a few chapters bc your work deserves it so much...but yeah, that's what led me here so i guess congrats, you get my thoughts all nicely packed in one place ^_^

there's probably a lot of specific pieces, details, ideas i liked about B♭, so that is merely a summary of exciting things i remember!

i'll say goodbye using my favourite oneshot title:

thank you for the music ✩°｡⋆⸜(ू｡•ω•｡)

not gonna lie i'm kind of obsessed w/the way you just glossed over the fact that you (probably) found me through my (anonymous) genshin fics, which means you jumped through the (minimum three) hoops required to get here, my (named) fandom blog, and then proceed to gush abt a bnha series i did. like i would assume that if someone put in the effort to find my other fandom fics from my genshin stuff, then there must've been smth really worth looking into w/the genshin stuff lmao

for the sake of my mutuals' dashboards, since this ask is so long i'm just gonna chuck the whole (long) answer under a cut lol

anyway yes Bb!! the amt of effort n planning i put into that series was legitimately insane. i made school schedules for EVERY SINGLE BNHA CHARACTER and PUT IT ON A SPREADSHEET so that i could PLAN WHO COULD WALK WITH WHOM TO THEIR NEXT CLASSES n have PLOT-RELEVANT CONVERSATIONS LIKE THAT. i made little profiles for each of the characters, where i chose their favorite musical key (and why), how many years/instruments they play, and gave them each a funny little quote/catchphrase!!!

what possessed me to do this for ~20 different characters i honestly could not tell you

i definitely loved working on Bb a lot. i remember sitting down three years ago, practically to the day by this point, n hashing out the events of every single chapter to the epilogue, then reorganizing them into a proper timeline (i also kept a calendar in my notes with the chapters in order), all while occasionally looking out my bedroom window n thinking how wonderfully bright n warm n sunny the world was becoming again. bc really, 2019 was a very struggle year for me, n i didn't take the time to appreciate the sunlight then the way i have every year since. from there, i worked off that very strict outline, and most of the note-chapters that were eventually put up are primarily just copy-pasted straight from there.

i remember being on youtube a lot for music recs when working on perfect harmony too!! a bunch of them changed in the years btwn walking away from the series n actually publishing the notes (which were actually published mid-december last year, then backdated to 2020 a few days later ahaha), with a number of the tour arc alternate chapter title songs coming from songs that didn't even exist at the time of the fic's original planning. my mp3 collection grew a lot during the planning phases of Bb lmao.

i'm glad the characters felt so real!!! while no one character was based entirely off one single person i knew irl, one could say that writing Bb was a bit of a love letter to my time in high school band in some places, both the events i partook in n the people i knew there. it was a very "write what you know" type of fic.

anyway haha yeah the end of my bnha days were not fun, but i still loved Bb enough to hold onto the idea of returning to it Soon(tm) that i put off publishing the chapter notes for almost two years. even then, that was a difficult decision for me to make bc a part of me wasn't ready to close that chapter of my life. i think ultimately it was the best decision to make though, since the fics are p heavily tied up in a much sadder part of my life that i'd just rather not return to.

the main reason comments were turned off of Bb (and indeed, the majority of my bnha fics) is most simply described as "resentment". it's different from how i feel abt my old snk fics (where i turned comments off of them so that i could pretend no one's really reading them anymore), which is more impersonal "oh my god i was so young back then and i give fewer than negative shits abt any mistakes i might've made on them or what anyone thinks of them" bc in bnha it's kind of hard to avoid the fact that i had a Name in the circles i typically traversed for a while. it wasn't that big of a name, but it's certainly more than nothing.

it's not really a feeling i like to dwell on, so i just archive-locked the responsible works n turned off comments for the most heinous culprits (mostly sparklers, but even tho i love Bb as a story, i do not love Bb as a publishing experience, if that makes sense), and for the most part, that keeps the resentment contained.

still, i'm genuinely happy that you enjoyed the au so much!!! i honestly love love love how goddamn SPECIFIC the premises are for this fic. the world was truly built with love, and the music puns for every title were always such a joy to come up with c':

thank you for the ask!!!! :D

[sacharowan]

so apparantly I'm doing the anon version of live blogging

- the way you've written charles winning the championship so far is so so good I am Obsessed like the emotions he's feeling so far are so well articulated

-"he knows now its not because of their titles" the CALLBACK oh charles I love your brain so much (also tumblr user sacharowan I love YOUR brain)

-the hint of sewis angst at the end (how have they in 14 years seemingly NOT COMMUNICATED come ON boys)

-also charles mate pls can you just voice your insecurity when your brain to mouth filter dissapears bc maybe then the two idiots will get a grip and then stop YOU being an idiot

-I LOVE the spreadsheet btw its so so well thought out (and wayyy more mathsy than I could ever manage)

also the fic fit the song so so so well oh my god like I'm actually so so so impressed with how it fits

also CHARLES LECLERC 2025 WDC AGENDA RAHHHH

thank you so much!!!

honestly, writing the actual racing bit was a little scary because I have no idea what it's like. I'm glad the insanity came across though :DD

!!! the callbacks are so fun to do :D it's kinda a reminder that it is a series of (vaguely) connected parts, even if they can be read on their own. I also really like the whole thing about charles being affected by them as people and how that may contribute to their relationship >:)

sewis in this series are very very silly. and they don't know how to communicate. but that might just be all three of them to be honest, because charles definitely isn't saying everything either. it was a little impulsive to put that in but I thought it was a little bit important to remind (mainly myself) that they still have an important conversation to have. (which they will. which will be interesting to write)

charles brain to mouth filter is also something I've continually kept up with from the previous parts. but yes, it would be so much more helpful if he could just say genuinely helpful stuff instead of just complimenting the two of them when his brain stops working.

the spreadsheet!!! the spreadsheet was very fun to do, despite the fact it isn't really necessary to the whole fic or the series. the amount of points charles has isn't actually mentioned at any point in the fic, but it made it make sense in my brain if I had the actual numbers in front of me. I learnt how to make spreadsheets and use formulas in excel when I was in my first (?) year of high school and all I've ever done with it is use it for fics lol

thank you!! I put a lot of thought into figuring out which songs could be for which ship and event so I'm glad it fits :))

WOOOOO CHARLES LECLERC 2025 (I am hoping and praying that the events of both santa monica and peach come true in real life)

[phoenixyfriend]

Secret Clones AU

Short version: Secret Clones AU is the clones going into hiding in plain sight across the galaxy to force a fair wage and also to keep the babies safe from Kaminoans

The clones figure out the plan to take advantage of them, brain chips, etc. several years before the war hits. IDK how, maybe Jango decided to take a closer look with Mij and went Oh Shit. Doesn't matter. Point is, they caught on and decided that they needed to uhhhhh get Out.

There are millions of clones, yes, but there are tens of thousands of planets.

Once the chips are out and someone's jabbed them with anti-aging serum... they're not that different from standard humans.

And it's not exactly hard to tie up the Kaminoans long enough to get off planet.

So what happens is that a while, let's say a year and a half, before the war kicks off, you have a mass exodus from Kamino, and a wide dispersal of clones. They are generally staying together in groups of about half a dozen, claiming to be brothers, so that there's a 16-18-ish looking clone to take lead, with progressively younger cadets to look after. Each one has a commander they can 'report' to in case of emergency, and if something goes real bad, they can call in an Alpha (and Alphas can call in Jango in a worst case scenario).

It's still sort of a military structure, but... it's a phone tree.

And you have one of these groups of half a dozen clones in every major city. There are thousands of planets, and most of those planets have more than one city. Denon and Coruscant are nothing but city, so they can get counted as dozens of cities on their own. It's easy to disappear in places like that.

It's so easy for the clones, before anyone knows them, to just... disappear. Go into hiding in plain sight.

It's not like more than a handful of people know what to look for.

(It's not like they have a centralized record of who went where.)

(It's just the phone tree.)

They still get real excited-happy-eager when they run into a Jedi.

They want to work with Jedi. They're the good guys! And they're cool!

But your army did a mass desertion before the war started and finding/recruiting all of them is going to take a stupid amount of money. You cannot hire a bounty hunter for each and every clone.

And as @bytebun put it:

Somebody two years later: you look …familiar. Have we met? Clone: haha I get that a lot just one of those faces

AND THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH IT BECAUSE THE GALAXY IS HECKING MASSIVE

I think the Republic has to like… negotiate with Jango and the Alphas and set up paid contracts if they want these Ultra Skilled Warriors to fight for them.

The clones can fight. Some of them even want to fight. They are good at this and they recognize that many of the things that are occurring under Separatist invasion are Mega Bad.

But like. Pay them and treat them as citizens, first.

The Jedi are even more confused about this identical army that really loves them than they are in canon Where the heck did you guys come from Who trained you Why do you like us What the heck is going on

"Someone wanted us to be a trap for you but we took the trap out. Here we have a sample if you want. Anyway. We like you guys and want to fight with you because honestly civilian life is way understimulating. Let me punch a droid."

I think a few of the clones do 'scouting' where they voluntarily help a Jedi in the field to gather information on their validity as Friends. Cody keeps a number of spreadsheets that are just Various Jedi Encounters.

Rex does a scouting mission with Kenobi&Skywalker and just goes to Cody like "Listen. I know he's insane. But. I want that one."

Rex just "I call dibs" "Cody. Cody did you hear me. Dibs, I call dibs."

@catboydogma: stats for pong krell are all zeroes

Absolute shit tier Jedi They play rock paper scissors to decide who has to deal with him

A solid half of the clones don't get recruited because the lack of advanced aging (past a certain point) means they're physically still minors and My Dad (Alphas and CCs) Said No. They stay behind on their various planets to look after The Real Babies.

"Let me ask my dad" "Wait--" "He said no."

Just want these boys to have Civilian Lives they can return to or at least experience before war gets them all fucked up.

I think some of them try to Make Connections with influential people (whether politicians or like... Space Influencers) so they have people vouching for them once the war kicks off. And there can be at least some public pushback on functionally enslaving them.

"I can't believe you manipulated people into liking you! That's so mean!" "Well you see. I wanted to survive past the age of eleven. So."

[yeehawbvby]

Falling Away With You | Ch. 1

Sebastian x F!Reader and M. Rasmodius x F!Reader

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Chapter Summary: You finally found a way out of your miserable job with Joja! Time to move to the ol’ farm :)

Author��s Note: This fic starts off pretty stereotypical.. so here's my formal apology/assurance that it gets better as things get saucier etc .･ﾟﾟ･(／ω＼)･ﾟﾟ･. It starts to become its own story, in a sense, around chapter 3ish! 

(Please stick around, and if you don't like it after all you can tell me I stink or something..? Idfk.)

Drink your water, I hope you enjoy this, and take care! x

Table of Contents + Work Summary

Check it out on ao3!

Next

“Back to work, Miss (y/l/n).”

Looking up, I’m met with my supervisor staring wrinkled, hazel daggers into me. 

“I’m just… tidying up a bit.” I shift the pen in front of me so it’s parallel to my keyboard. Wow, so tidy! Look at me go!

“You sure are,” he deadpans. “We’ll need to have a talk about your performance if you keep up this nonsense. I’ve been seeing you slack off all too often lately.”

“Oh, screw you, guy,” is what I wish I said. Instead, “Yes sir, my apologies,” is what spills out.

I sit back down as he walks away, satisfied, and probably readying himself to go jerk off to the idea of having so much authority over me. Cursing myself for somehow ending up at a dead-end office job, I reminisce on the days where I thought I’d be doing something that I love... Life was so much easier when I was ignorant.

Opening the drawer to my right, I spot an envelope from my late grandpa that I’ve kept hidden here. I graze its wax seal with my fingers, silently weighing out a pretty hefty decision.

I want to open it. I’ve been wanting to for weeks, but keep putting it off. It’s meant to give me some encouragement, to only be seen once I need something to keep me pushing on, but I’ve been saving it for the perfect time. Trying to, at least. That time feels like right now, but… what if it’s too early? 

Let’s see. What are the pros? 

Maybe it’ll make me happy and give me some hope. My curiosity will be quenched. This is the last form of communication I have left from my Grandpa, and it could be really special. It gives me something else to procrastinate these Yobaforsaken spreadsheets with.

The cons…

I pause my thought process for a moment to look at my monitor, realizing how long I’ve been just sitting here since my supervisor left. Just been totally spaced out. I’m definitely looking at some overtime this week… unpaid, of course. An audible groan comes out of me as I stare at the amount of work I still have to do today.

“Shhhhhhh.”

Excuse me, who—? Fuck that. It’s time.

I look around to make sure I’m not being watched in-person, and tape a piece of paper over the camera that’s literally facing my desk (seriously, fuck these Joja rats), before eagerly tearing open the note.

“If you’re reading this, you must be in dire need of a change.”

You’ve got that right, Gramps.

I read on, and I… inherited his farm, I guess. That seems interesting and all, but is that really where I want to go? It sounds a bit, I don’t know. Bland? Then again, it’s bland here too. Zuzu City is beautiful, don’t get me wrong, but it’s overrated. The air pollution, the intense amount of people, and the insanely high rent outweigh any positives it has for long-term stay.

If I go back to Pelican Town per Grandpa’s suggestion, I can still visit here every once in a while if I’m feeling frisky .

I’m about to put the letter aside, until I notice more writing on the very bottom:

“P.S. If Lewis is still alive, say ‘hi’ to the old guy for me, will ya?”

Well, he gave me a duty to fulfill. Can’t argue with that!

I continue my work, and then wrap up early. I don’t bother providing them the courtesy of formally quitting. It’s not like they’d give me a two-weeks-notice before firing me. Eye for an eye, bitches.

__________________

When I originally moved to Zuzu City from Pelican Town, I was too young to know anyone or absorb my surroundings. I must’ve been, what, 6? My only possessions left from back then are a few faint memories of my grandpa, and I know those will just diminish as time goes by. Plenty of them already have.

I wonder how it’s gonna feel to be back. My head spins and I find a lump in my throat, as my brain suddenly floods with fear and doubt. Shit, don’t get all emo now, lady! You aren’t even there yet!

I want to think positively, but instead I’m hit like a truck with a wave of thoughts, all of the unfortunate things I’m going to be experiencing soon.

I’m bound to be the center of some hot gossip for a few weeks, aren’t I? That’s gonna suck, but I can deal with it. It’s not like it’s unfamiliar, I went through hell and back with some of the slander my Joja colleagues were set on spreading about me. Just because I wasn’t a total kiss-up. I rub the corners of my eyes, as if to rinse those thoughts away.

Maybe some older folks here will remember me. Hopefully fondly, if so. I don’t even want to think about how odd that’s going to be, though — meeting people that I have no connection with, knowing they might’ve helped my Grandpa raise me part-time... At least I’ll have allies. 

I suck at interacting with new people, hopefully they don’t mind that too much. Definitely great at masking it depending on the day, but there’s no doubting that my social abilities are nonexistent after a few minutes of conversation with me.

I manage to regain my composure and quell my anxiety just before the bus reaches my stop.  I grab my luggage from the overhead racks, and make my way outside to a redheaded woman greeting me.

“Hello! You must be (y/n).

“Yep, that’s me.”

Do I go in for a hand shake, or is that too formal? What if she goes in for a hug? She knows more about me than I know about her. Maybe. Probably. 

As I stand there nervously trying to decide how to greet her, she makes things easier and begins to introduce herself. Her name is Robin, and she says that Mayor Lewis sent her to fetch me. Nice, that’s the guy Grandpa mentioned in his letter!

Wait, did she just call him the fucking mayor? Was Grandpa into politics? 

I don’t say much as she shows me the way to my Grandpa’s – sorry, my farm. So weird.

“This is Mooncrest Farm,” she says, looking out at the absolute mess that is the land.

There are trees everywhere, and the ground is rampant with branches and weeds. There’s barely any space to walk without obstruction. This is going to be a nightmare to clean up, and something tells me I’ll have to do it alone. What if I’m not strong enough? Joja had me living a pretty sedentary lifestyle. I should’ve thought this through –

“What’s the matter?”

I'm snapped out of it, but instantly feel guilt as I relax my tight eyebrows and take a breath. Nice going, buddy. She chuckles before I can find words as she realizes what’s up, clearly unbothered. 

“Sure, it’s a bit overgrown, but there’s some good soil underneath this mess!” She reassures me.

As we approach the house, an old man I can only assume to be Mayor Lewis walks out. He introduces himself, and explains that everyone in town has been asking about their incoming neighbor — ugh, everyone already knew I was coming? I suppose with such a small population, it makes sense that everyone would know if a new person is moving in, but still.

Bringing our attention to the cottage, he continues, “It’s a good house… very ‘rustic.’”

“‘Crusty’ might be a little more apt,” Robin replies, chortling to herself. I like Robin.

“She’s just trying to make you dissatisfied so you buy one of her house upgrades.” 

That’s right, she mentioned that she’s the community’s carpenter on our way over. 

I shrug. “She’s got a business to run, I respect that.”

Lewis wants to comment – he has a look in his eye, like he wants to disagree with me, but he doesn’t say anything. Good man. I look towards Robin, expecting her to say something, but instead she winks at me, her lips curled into a smug smile.

“Anyway…” Robin and I turn back to the Mayor as he proceeds, “You must be tired from the long journey.” 

He gives me what I can only think to describe as homework, and some instructions about selling things (I’m assuming he means the crops I’ll eventually grow?), before he and Robin say their goodbyes. He wishes me luck, and then I’m alone again. 

Being alone in an apartment building feels a lot more lonely than this, somehow. With those thin walls, you can hear how many people are in some sort of proximity to you at all times. Some of them alone too, others living with family or friends. But regardless of who’s with who, you’re just there . Sometimes in silence but more often in the shadows of their residual noise. 

This type of alone feels different than what I’m used to. In a good way, of course. I’m overcome with a certain sense of solitude, being by myself in a more natural setting for the first time.

I walk into the cabin. Smells a little musky, but I don’t see any mold or cobwebs. Thank Yoba, I had more than enough of both those things in my old apartment. This place is kind of cozy, actually. The smell is probably just from being devoid of human use for so long. 

There’s a bed and a fireplace to my right, a television and what appears to be a gift box to the left, and a table and chair in the back center.  

I don’t recognize the green, pine tree-adorned wallpaper or dark wooden floorboards, meaning Grandpa might’ve had some renovations done between now and back then. A door on the left leads to what I’m hoping is the kitchen and bathroom. I’ll check those out later, though. I wanna see what’s in this box!

I kneel down, grabbing my pocket knife from within the front zipper of my satchel and neatly opening the package. I pick up one of the small seed packets that lay scattered inside it. There’s a picture on all the labels, slightly different on each, indicating they’d been hand-drawn. Whoever made these is fucking precious. What are these though, parsnips? Have I ever even had a parsnip? I guess I will soon.

I look up to the window from where I’m seated, noticing that it’s gotten dimmer in here. It’s probably later than I thought it was – the sun is starting to set. My weird, distorted sense of telling time courtesy of Joja’s fluorescent office lighting is showing.

Normally, I would just take a nap now if I needed it. But, since I’ll be doing all my new work outdoors, I should try and milk as much daylight as I can from now on. Ugh. I miss my younger and more nocturnal days. 

After crawling into bed, I lay there for a moment, trying to plan how I’ll go about tomorrow. Mayor Lewis wants me to meet everyone – literally, everyone – who lives in Pelican Town, as soon as possible. He gave me a physical list of who I need to look for. 

I grab the list from next to my new bed. Twenty-eight people are on here, and that’s a lot to greet all in one go. No addresses or phone numbers are on here… very helpful. I would like to get this over with sooner than later, but I know my limits. Too much socializing in a day is a sure way to short circuit myself. 

Breaking these people up into groups and letting it happen more naturally is probably in my best interest. A to-do list, if you will, but without the “do” part. Unless someone spicy happens to be around here, then maybe I’d make an exception. We’ll see.

Robin’s husband and daughter, Demetrius and Maru, are at the top of the list. Robin talked my ear off about those two on the walk here.

“They achieve so much together,” she shared, “I just know Maru is going to make some amazing scientific breakthrough someday!”

I was a little envious of their accomplishments, but it was touching to see how proud Robin is of her family. Well, most of her family. A familiar name is next up on the list – Sebastian.

Robin mentioned him only briefly on the walk here, describing him as an angsty “kid” who’s around my age, and saying he needs to get out more. Make new friends, and whatever. She didn’t get into any details on him, only mentioning that he’s the son she had with her ex-husband before moving on. I feel kinda bad for the guy, as somewhat of a hermit myself. For both of our sakes, I’ll try to keep my introduction to Sebastian brief.

I skim the list for any other familiar names, finding nothing. I’ll get started on that stuff tomorrow. My eyelids are starting to feel heavy, so I let the list float to the ground beside me, and allow sleep to engulf me.

[dangermousie]

CFC 68

God, I am fangirling a real person so hard and I never do that - I mean, I like actors and writers and what not but usually only in the sense of enjoying their books or their shows or w/e, I have no opinion on them as people and little interest in that. But Meatbun is so consistently amazing. Her author’s note! I figured she’s stuck in a contract with jjwxc and can’t publish elsewhere or she’d have peaced out of there. Ugh. Her comment that if she could she’d just dump the whole thing for free on weibo and call it a day!!! Ugh again.

Anyway, I don’t have a huge amount of thoughts on this CFC chapter except that yes, all of He Yu’s insanity and obsession and awfulness resulted in him becoming a male version of XQC’s ex wife. XQC puts up with having sex with him and having him around but he literally treats it as an unpleasant but mechanical job and HY keeps trying to get some emotion out of him - he will take anger and bickering happily - but XQC does not because he’s frozen himself extra hard and this is an equivalent of doing piles of spreadsheets to him, only less pleasant. He doesn’t even truly bother to lash out any more. And HY knows it and feels the loss but doesn’t know what to do about it or what it is he even feels. He tries ordering various little petty things but it’s all pointless. (The one time he gets a reaction is from adding a WeChat picture and he’s pathetically excited XQC is annoyed.)

And even though this has been going on for months, there is little indication XQC’s opinion on sex as a chore (and a chore that’s at best boring and at worst highly traumatizing) has changed. Paradoxically, that is what enables HY to still have sex with him. It is honestly psychologically easier for XQC to keep having sex with HY when he does not enjoy it because what XQC really fears is loss of control and experiencing pleasure (of any sort tbh, not just sexual.) If somehow HY got too good and managed to give XQC mind-blowing consistent pleasure, I get the sense XQC would ditch and risk HY going crazy or contacting XX or whatever because he couldn’t mentally take it.

The other thing is we continue the trend of XQC not bothering to really see to his own comfort (like the stuff with hot water, not out of masochism but out of the whole “machines don’t need to go to extra efforts for comforts, what’s the point?”) but HY tries to have these small gestures like getting him hot water and all. It’s those tiny glimpses that show the tragedy of it because HY is not an utter monster; few people are - he could have ended up as a decent person but society and his horrific parents have wrecked that. Honestly, I loathe him on average, but it’s HY and not XQC that shows how good a writer MB is. XQC is very good and very selfless and very fucked up. It is not hard for people to love that character and want to read about him. But HY is very fucked up but NOT very good or very selfless. He’s fucked up and a monster. Victim and perpetrator, pitiable and loathsome all at once. And THAT type of character is hard to write so that the audience would still want to read about him and know what happens next and hate him and yet still hope for redemption and occasionally feel terribly sorry for him. That takes skills.

[nightswithkookmin]

You need to back up your ON break up theory with more than just fake subs and vague statements about 'claiming behavior'.

During the period you allege they were broken up, Jimin pulled Jungkook in a hug on run behind, Jungkook called Jimin sexy at a press conference, Jimin and jungkook did that whole 'how does it feel to be in the same unit'/'time to change' flirty thing, Jimin grabbed Jungkook by the lapels... and more. Begging pardon but if they were grieving the loss of their romantic relationship while trying to be professional colleagues and pals.... isnt that sort of insensitive? Like I know you admitting you might have read it wrong and have changed your view in light of new footage might be a blow to your ego, but I don't think you are thinking rationally when you insist on this break up theory. It's sad because I found so much meaning and connection in some of the stuff you have written, particularly pertaining to internalized homophobia, racism, mysogynoir and bts changing over time to become more enlightened, but your devotion to this ONE theory, and defensiveness whenever it is (rightly imo) challenged makes me wary of your theories in general, which might be extremely unfair to you, as a thinker. Your log is really funny and great in a lot of ways so i cant really quit you.

Ahhhh it's been a while I got one of these...

Hello, how you doing! Lol. Silver is that you?

Chilee, it's the name calling for me.

Ego, irrational, charlatan, Tuktukker- I'm desensitized to such ad hominems at this point. You don't throw words like these around and expect me to sit at the table and talk. Imma yeet myself out real fast. Lol.

There's just something different, wholesome almost, about this post though. Sounds constructive I think. Or maybe it's because I just woke. Chilee. Lol.

It doesn't feel at all like you are attacking me. It's strange...

You're gaslighting though but it's fine. I've built a resistance to that from years and years of dealing with my abductors or family. Potato potahto.

I often put my sanity before other's insanity which is why I don't indulge posts such as these and I'm not sorry about that. I mean is this an Ask or Submission? I don't- what am I supposed to say? What is the call to action?

Sigh.

If I come across as defensive sometimes, 10 out of 10, it's probably because the person on the other end is being offensive. Straight up. Cause and effect, the science don't lie.

You don't expect me to not defend when I'm being attacked. That's just tacky.

I don't think there's anything wrong with challenging views and notions because at the very least, that's about the exchange of ideas and I welcome it.

I set the limits at the racial slurs, the mocking tones, the emotionally charged rants meant to disparage me and my entire ancestry rather than argue a point, the interference with my personal life and business all because I hold a different view on a topic, the doxing, gaslighting, the bad mouthing, spreading lies about me, turning my friends against me, stripping away my rights and copyrights, harassing people who enjoy my work among- other things.

I usually exercise my right to self preservation in these instances- imma block, delete, ignore, forward or clap back. Word. Lol.

I'm sorry, but if you have to attack the individuality of a person to argue your point, you've lost the argument and you never had one to begin with.

Take for instance, the bit you wrote about me taking a blow to 'my ego' - do you see the problem with that?

What has holding a view different from yours on a particular subject got to do with the ego?

Do you mean to say the only way I can hold an opinion different from yours on a matter is if I were hubristic?

Are you projecting? What's happening? Lol

And if I call you out for this, I'm defensive? Way to add gaslighting to your bigotry and intolerance of opinions that don't align with yours. No offense.

I give myself permission to hold unpopular views. I give myself permission to think differently from others. I give myself permission to see what I see and believe what I believe and form an opinion on what I see and believe divorced from others' views and based on my own understanding of the workings of this world or in this case Jikook.

No amount of name calling will change this fact. We see things from different perspectives after all.

You need to back your ON break up theory with more than just fake subs and vague claims about claiming behavior.

Lol. Fake subs? You mean the Hajima bit from the On comeback special I put in my video? Interesting.

I think I see what you mean about my break up theory and I agree to some extent. Like, come up here with charts and paragraphs and excel spreadsheets on why I think Jikook were broken up?

I would be happy to do that kind of analysis.

I think the problem for me here is, I feel tasked to convince rather than to share my opinion on the matter or even expand on my theories for discourse sakes and that makes me really uncomfortable.

Not to psychoanalyze you, but I feel when you ask this of me you are not just asking me to divulge my thoughts on a topic but to disabuse you of your own biases surrounding the topic.

I don't think this is about my opinion at all. I think it's about your own beliefs about Jikook. And there's nothing wrong with that. If you believe in something you need to stand for it. Just don't mind if others do same and don't call them names for doing so. Because if you do mind, then that's bigotry.

The fact is my opinion contradicts your beliefs about Jikook and you either want to punish me for it hence the slurs, are in denial, or you want to believe my point of view- can't really tell.

I think there is a limit in general to how far I can prove Jikook in anyway and that has nothing to do with lack of evidence, my ego or my rationality. And yes, I often shroud my beliefs in vague expressions because I don't want to set myself up or open myself up to legal suits. I can only prove Jikook to a point and nothing beyond my belief. Beyond that, I would be skating on thin ice and making bighit a tad richer.

During the period you allege they were broken up, Jimin pulled JK in a hug, grabbed Jungkook by his lapel, JK called Jimin sexy, they did the flirty challenge...

So if I understand you correctly, all these is what makes Jikook a couple to you and indicate they are dating?

Alright then.

Hobi calls Jimin sexy all the time. BTS calls eachother sexy all the time. I don't think that's a sign they are in a polyamory.

Jungkook plays with his hyungs' dick and ass and talks about falling for them most times. I don't think that makes him gay or in a relationship with any of them.

Lemme just cut to the chase. I've reached my photo limits. I have said a countless times now, that I don't view skinship and all these interactions you've pointed out as indication two people are dating- especially not two Koreans working within the homoerotically charged space of Kpop.

And I have given out a few of the metrics I use in considering whether any ship in BTS is real over the course of my blogs- intimacy, exclusive behaviors such as and not limited to claiming eachother and exercising certain rights and authorities over eachother and against the group, stress trails as a result of keeping their relationship a secret, the microaggressions, breaching the fourth wall and others.

I think what this comes down to is differences in perspectives on a fundamental level. Not egos.

I don't see the things you see as the signs Jikook are real and dating, as signs Jikook are real and dating. If I did, I would be seeing every ship in BTS as real but I don't.

And you consider the metrics I use in ascertaining Jikook as vague something something. I think we are at an impasse.

But explain the bit about 'insensitive' to me please. I would love to engage in that discourse. Why would it be insensitive for two exes to act cordially with eachother within a workplace in the aftermath of a breakup?

Then the bit about grieving...

So grieving is one of your metrics for accessing whether or not two people are broken up?

That's interesting. I mean I don't disagree but I also don't think Jikook are gonna come to work with oversized pajamas, dark shades, boxes of tissues and a blanket slung over their shoulders because of a broken heart... it's 2020 not Manila. They've grown, are learning and getting better at dealing with their emotions on camera because, as Suga pointed out, they are aware the least bit of tension translates to the screens.

I mean Jimin said it himself in his 2020 interview, he's learned to react less intensely to certain things. And sometimes, he tries to downplay certain things. He tries to perform Jikook when Jikook are not in a great place. It's only in recent times, On era, where JK has opted out and not gone along with it.

I think he does that and uses their shared 'Jikook agenda' and performances of Jikook as a means to fix things or break the ice between them at least.

But clearly Jk wasn't having it that day as he kept putting up boundaries with Jimin throughout that Run episode- unless of course you are disputing this as well on the grounds Jimin dragged his ass into a hug. Chilee.

I think most people wouldn't have felt there was something off with Jikook in that On period at all had it not been for Run 116. It's similar to how, had it not been for Jimin's birthday saga, the Esquire shoot behind scenes and Grammy reaction video, no one would have felt there was something going on between Jikook in the October timeline.

I think we would have seen and felt the less interactions and professionalism between them in the aftermath of it but for the most parts, moments like the couch scene in the Grammy reaction video wouldn't have made sense to any of us especially as we had just witnessed JK in the ON:E concert rushing to comfort and console JM when he was tearing up at the end of the concert.

At least when he pushed JM into a ditch somewhere in the dark in Soop we know he had been drinking and they were playing competitive sports. Even with that he still showed some concern when Jimin fell and injured himself afterwards.

I think we would all be wondering if Jikook were fanservice at that point, a fanservice relationship where JK only consoled Jimin when he cried infront of thousands of people at concerts and nibbled his ear while he was at it.

And I think we would be on opposite sides of the argument: me, arguing Jikook were experiencing a hiccup in their relationship and you, rationalizing that moment with anything from 'JK don't have to be at JM's beck and call' 'he is an introvert who is shy to show affections publicly' to even something about the weather.

But I would have looked at this moment from the October pop up video behind scenes and assumed JK was mad at Jimin for something JM had done and had done something in retaliation and was now feeling sorry he did.

And I would have based it off of this moment, or a countless similar ones from around On era or the previous eras where JK had done this exact same thing- frozen in place and staring at Jimin in the middle of a shoot or interview after sliding his hands down Tae's chest, clung on to the others unnecessarily to get a reaction out of JM.

Would I have been right? It really doesn't matter to me as long as it makes sense to me. I ship Jikook in a way that makes sense to me. Jikook are gay, in a gay relationship with each other and are human like anyone of us- that makes sense to me. Whether I am right or wrong.... who cares and why does it matter?

Personally, I think the only person grieving in that period was JK not JM and I don't think he grieved for long before he switched off his humanity and went stone cold tit for tat terminator on JM and BTS's ass. Lol. He had JM looking all kinds of subdued in that era. Lmho.

People grieve in various ways. In my opinion. For Jimin, I feel he puts on a strong facade most times when he has to film during such times and lately I feel he masks his emotions with anger.

Jk masks his pain with anger too sometimes but I feel in recent times, he is leaning more towards indifference. I think he tries not to be as affected by certain things as compared to the early half of 2020...

But I understand what you mean when you talk about grieve. I think for me rather than look for physical evidence of grief like a sad face, a tear drop dripping down a face, I love for vulnerability in them.

JK's is easy to tell because he tends to open himself up to others such as Tae or Jin or Hobi- and I don't mean like his interactions with them. I mean he leans on them for moral or emotional support.

In the Holiday remix video where he was hiding behind Jin, I felt he was feeling very vulnerable and exposed after that intense moment with Jimin.

It's what he does when he is feeling vulnerable. He turns to others especially Jimin and if Jimin is the cause of his vulnerability he turns away from him like he did within On era or even in Run 116.

When he is in a good place with Jimin, often he is closed off to the others. Jimin does the opposite. He shuts himself up entirely from the group. I don't think he likes to go through his pain by himself.

I've always found that bit fascinating about them. Jk opens himself to people when he is at his lowest while JM closes himself off when he is at his worst.

It played out in their rainy day fight as well. In JK's vulnerability, that's when he let Jimin in, lowering his walls while JM on the other hand closed himself off to him.

Can you give me more than they were together in that period because they played with eachother's lapels?

You don't think I'm thinking rationally when I insist on my theory? Uhmmm... okay? What is rational in this case?

Listen, I recieve a lot of hate for my 'irrational thoughts and opinions' out in these streets. I've lost potentially great friendship on this platform because of it. As I type this, there is someone in someone else's DMs persuading them not to read and engage with my posts because I'm extremely evil I think Jikook break up from time to time in their relationship.

If I genuinely believed in the slightest least or had the least doubt that Jikook were together in that period I would change my mind on the topic- damn my pride and ego. It simply isn't worth the hustle.

If it helps your sanity, please stop reading my blogs. My blogs are not for everyone. It makes some people happy, it makes some people mad and some people experience both.

My gratification is in sharing my thoughts and chronicling Jikook's journey for my own appeasement and support of Jikook. I owe it to them as a believer and a supporter to humanize them as much as possible.

I do not seek to convert others, change minds, or convince anyone of my opinions or to disabuse anyone of theirs.

Let's just agree to disagree on the matter please. Or if you can drop the ad hominems, I would be more than happy to go back and forth with you on this very topic. It's actually shaping out to be one of my favorite Jikook eras. I love me some terminator JK. Lol.

Signed,

GOLDY

[deobienthusiast]

office love

• pairing: lee jaehyun (the boyz) x reader

• word count: 1,684 words

• genre: fluffy, slight humor

• warnings: slightly suggestive

• notes: imagine working in an office with the boyz tho👀

requested: yes | no by @q-ianna

You always told yourself that you would never be one of those 9-5 office workers that sat in a cubicle all day long. You wanted to travel and see the world. Little did you know, that to travel the world, you needed to be seated in that cubicle. For four years, you have been working in the same cubicle with the same 12 co-workers, one of whom stood out to you more than the rest.

Lee Hyunjae was quite the character. With such an upbeat personality, he was the life of the office. Hyunjae was the first person you met when you started working at the office. He liked to be the center of attention. Not that you minded. Hyunjae made you feel so welcome when you first started to work here. He talked you through everything, would partner up with you for certain jobs, and even take you out for lunch or dinner, depending on how late the day became. You two built up quite the friendship, and along the way you developed feelings.

According to your other coworkers, Hyunjae felt the same way. You never believed them, however, the now constant flirting and small sexual innuendos that had made their way into your daily conversations with Hyunjae made you question whether he did feel the same way or not. Hyunjae was naturally a flirt, but he only just started to flirt with you. Maybe he was interested.

“Hello,” Juyeon, your coworker, said as he waved his hand in front of your face. “Are you even listening to me?”

You shook your head, snapping back into reality as you looked at the dark-haired boy. “I’m sorry, Juyeon. Did you say something?”

Juyeon huffed before following where your gaze was currently focused. He looked back at you and smirked. You raised an eyebrow at him before speaking.

“What?” You asked him.

He chuckled. “You know what? You were checking out Hyunjae.”

You rolled your eyes. “No I wasn’t.”

Juyeon scoffed. “Yeah sure.”

You turned back around in your chair so your back was to him before hearing someone speak.

“You know,” You heard a soft voice exclaim. “ You could just tell Hyunjae you like him. Rather than ogle him like a horny schoolgirl.”

Your eyes widened as you looked up at the top of your cubicle and made eye contact with Jacob. Jacob was a more soft-spoken worker. He wasn’t overly loud or insanely crazy, though he did have some spurts of wild in him every now and then.

“Will you shut the hell up!” You stated, making both Juyeon and Jacob laugh.

You went to focus back on your computer before hearing Juyeon speak.

“You know he feels the same way,” He started.

“Bullshit.” You countered, keeping your eyes on your computer screen.

Juyeon eyed you for a moment before giving a look to Jacob who disappeared back behind the walls of your cubicle. You worked diligently and quietly, unbothered by Sunwoo and Eric’s daily shenanigans before feeling a tap on your shoulder.

“I’m hungry. You want to go get some lunch with me?” Hyunjae asked.

You exited out of the spreadsheet you were working on as you turned around in your chair, a smile growing on your face when you made eye contact with Hyunjae.

“Yeah,” You stood you, grabbing your coat. “Let’s go.”

Hyunjae smiled at you as he waited for you to gather your things. You threw a goodbye to Juyeon and Jacob as you walked out the door, not being able to miss the snide ‘be safe’ that came from Juyeon which you knew for a fact had a double meaning.

You and Hyunjae decided on a little café just a couple of blocks from the office as you both got comfortable and ordered.

“So, how's the workload today?” Hyunjae asked.

You looked at him with a raised brow as you smirked. “You took me out to lunch to talk about work?”

Hyunjae chuckled, smiling. “Okay you caught me. How was your date last week? I’ve been meaning to ask.”

You nodded with a tight smile. “It was good.”

He snorted. “And by good, you mean terrible?”

You let out a laugh, making Hyunjae grin. “You can read me so well. He was insanely self absorbed. All he did was talk about himself. I’m never letting Changmin set me up with one of his college buddies again.”

Hyunjae took a sip of his drink as he nodded. “Changmin isn’t too fond of that guy anyway.”

You almost choked on your coffee. “Thanks for telling me that now.”

Hyunjae laughed. “You could always avoid getting set up on blind dates if you just find the right guy.”

“And is that your way of saying it should be you?” You looked up at him over the lid of your coffee cup, catching his strong gaze.

“Maybe it is.” Hyunjae said.

Your breath hitched in your throat at his tone. It was a questionable one as you couldn’t tell whether he was being a tease or being serious. Part of you hoped he was serious. You both ate and drank your coffees in silence before throwing away your trash. You wrapped yourself back in your coat before feeling Hyunjae grip your hand.

“Come on you. You’re taking too long.” He said with a teasing smile as he pulled on your hand.

Without realizing it, you two had managed to make it back inside the office hand in hand as Hyunjae walked you to your cubicle. You both were laughing at something Hyunjae had said about Sunwoo as you say in your chair. Hyunjae peeled off his jacket as he made his way over to his cubicle.

You logged into your computer before hearing someone clear their throat. You looked up and met the warm eyes of Jacob as he smiled.

“Someone had fun at lunch.” Jacob said with a grin.

You looked at him. “And what are you implying?”

He shrugged as he held his head up over the cubicle wall to look down at you.

“Something obviously happened.” You heard Juyeon counter behind you.

“Says who?” You said without turning around.

“Says the hand holding when you two walked through the door.” Jacob said before falling back into his seat when he saw your boss come out of his office.

You kept yourself busy as he walked around each cubicle, looking over the work. He studied Hyunjae for longer than usual as he tapped his shoulder before heading back to his office. You heard Hyunjae sigh as you watched him make his way to your boss’ office. The office stayed quiet, trying to listen in on the conversation before the door swung open. It was closed gently as you all watched Hyunjae stand outside the door. He took a deep breath before loosening his tie and heading for the break room.

You turned yourself around, trying hard to concentrate on the spreadsheets on your screen before giving into the nagging temptation to go check on him. Scooting back your chair, you quickly made your way to the break room. As you approached, you saw through the blinds, Hyunjae with his head in his hands.

You knocked on the door, closing it behind you as you entered. “Are you okay, Jae?”

Hyunjae lifted his head to look at you and smiled. “My consumer report came back. It’s not looking too good.”

You frowned, sitting down next to him. “That can’t be right. You’re our best salesman.”

He shook his head. “I guess I’ve been a little distracted this quarter.”

It was your turn to laugh as you watched him stand up and grab yet another cup of coffee. You watched him add an unreasonable amount of sugar that was likely to put him on the ground as he mixed it. He stared at the sugar coffee as you stood up, reaching for the glass.

“Okay, first. Don’t drink this,” You told him, pulling the glass away from him. “Second of all, what could possibly have you so distracted that you went from top of the sales to bottom of the sales faster than Jacob goes through the cereal?”

Hyunjae smiled before looking back at you. It was another look you weren’t used to, it was almost an admirable look.

“You,” He whispered quietly, hoping you wouldn’t hear him.

You cocked your head. “What?”

He repeated it, louder this time. “You. You’re distracting me.”

You felt yourself get slightly offended. “What do you mean I’m distracting you?”

Hyunjae could tell by your tone that you didn’t understand what he was saying as he decided to take matters into his own hands. He grabbed your hand, pulling you into him as he kissed you. You kept your arms on his chest, putting tension on your palms, almost as if you were trying to push him off before bringing them up to wrap around his neck. Hyunjae pulled away first, leaning his forehead on yours as he spoke through heavy breathing.

“You know, I would be good for you. I know so much about you. Too much if I may add,” You hit his chest as he continued with a laugh. “But I know for damn sure, I can treat you a hell of a lot better than anyone that those idiots out there try to set you up with.”

You grinned at him. “Could you now?”

He nodded as he leaned by your ear, nibbling on the lobe before whispering. “And I am confident that I could touch you better as well.”

You bit your lip to stifle your laughter as Hyunjae tightened his grip on you.

“Well then, I guess we’ll need to test that before I think about giving you a chance on a first date.” You said, feeling yourself being moved forward as you heard the break room door lock.

You giggled as Hyunjae closed the blinds. “Just try and keep the noise level down.”

You kissed him again as he lifted you on top of the small table. “Whatever, Hyunjae!”

Juyeon and Jacob would not let you live this down.

[takaraphoenix]

Three reasons for the following post:

I’ve been asked why I’m still active on FFNet occasionally, because well, AO3 is around and FFNet seems to be “dying” out.

I feel like - considering all of the “comment more!” posts going around - that I am not the only one who feels like feedback in the form of comments on AO3 isn’t too strong.

Pretty sure I’m not the only one who likes hard numbers and statistics so there might actually be someone out there who appreciates this.

+ 1. I like lists and I like talking about lists.

Now what this post actually is. This post is going to be an observation of response-difference between FFNet and AO3, based on hard numbers and not just feelings of there being less response.

There’s a thing that I used to do pretty regularly and now try to do about once a year, if I remember. I like lists and I like numbers and I like keeping track of things, so in 2013, I started keeping tracks of comments on fics. It has since then served me as a good indicator to popularity and, honestly, I just like lists.

I started a spreadsheet where I put all my multi-chapter fics down on, what fandom they are from, what  the main pairing is, the number of chapters and the total number of comments - as well as the all comments/chapters average.

I’ve seen posts on here, on tumblr, about how the commenting moral on AO3 is lacking and I’ve been asked why I’m still on FFNet and I’ve always had that feeling that commentors on FFNet are more active than on AO3 when I did this year’s update on my spreadsheet, I figured that the hard numbers on that might be interesting.

So the following is a cut version of my spreadsheet. What I cut out were all fics written/posted prior to June 2014, because that is when I got my AO3 account and it would mess with the data to include fics that may have had years of advantage over on FFNet. The third collumn labeled “Nr.” indicated when it was written - Nr. 35 means this was the 35th multiple-chapter fic I wrote, so you can vaguely sort that among itself; 35 has of course been longer around than 75 so it has had overall more time to gain comments. Then number of chapters, total number of comments on FFNet, total number of comments on AO3, the sum of those both, and the /Chap, the chapter-average comment count.

I decided to highlight the fics where the different in comments on FFNet and AO3 are significantly - meaning by at least double the other number - differently. Red means that in this case, numbers on AO3 are at least twice the number on FFNet. Blue means FFNet has at least twice as many total comments than AO does.

All red fics are from the Voltron, Shadowhunters, Marvel and Arrowverse fandoms.

Which makes perfect sense to me. Voltron and Shadowhunters (show-specific) are both new fandoms, fandoms born after AO3 has been established and long around. Where new people were attracted to who might have never even gotten an FFNet account to begin with because, as readers and writers, they were born into the AO3 era.

The MCU and Arrowverse are both fandoms that are tricky to navigate and work with on FFNet due to how limited and separate the crossover function on there is; AO3 was designed with such fandoms in mind and with making access to them very easy, so it figures that for both of those, AO3 is much more popular.

And it’s only about roughly two or three times as many on AO3 as on FFNet; which are still insane numbers, but now let’s look at the blue ones.

My most popular fic to date, Meet the di Angelos, has six times the amount of comments on FFNet than it does on AO3. 1033, compared to 167.

Three times, four times, five times as much. Royal Carries is with 262 to 17 at fifteen times the amount of comments. Fifteen.

They’re all Percy Jackson fics. All of them. A fandom I’ve been a part of since 2010, a fandom that predates AO3 (and actually partially even FFNet, because the first fics were back on LiveJournal) - and the enthusiastic, feedback giving fandom olds are still sticking around on FFNet.

So, that’s my analysis on that. Yes, you might find more enthusiasm for new things on AO3, because the site itself is new, but for older fandoms, the crowd is still around and rather vocal on FFNet.

That is why I am sticking around on FFNet. Because that’s where the majority of my audience is still.

And I do want to make one thing clear; this isn’t just a pure numbers competition. This isn’t just about “what got more total”. It’s about the feedback, the enthusiasm something is being met with. It’s about what those numbers represent; people who felt the need to share with the author what they thought and what they liked and what they may want more of, people who actively expressed their enthusiasm and motivated me, the author, with their kind and encouraging words.

Numbers are just the means to quantify this and also, seriously, I love a good list. And I also love looking at this, seeing that no, that “feeling” I had about it wasn’t actually just in my head, it’s true. In my biggest fandom, the people who met my stuff with loud enthusiasm were indeed with a vast majority on FFNet.

(But yes, I admit, hard numbers do help me orient where I am going with my writing. If something gets overwhelming feedback, it will get more attention from me too and if a trope/ship really works, I do feel more inclined to write it again. I feel like that’s kind of obvious, but yeah.)

[caswlw]

ok but like the income/financial situation thing...i recommend looking up NYT's The Middle Class Crunch (https://www(.)nytimes(.)com/interactive/2019/10/03/your-money/middle-class-income.html). people kind of ignore personal choices and i get that it can be uncomfortable but they are very, very important. where you choose to live, house size (which massively affects your utility bill and the amount of space-filling stuff you buy), the car(s) you have, how frequently all those things change. also habits, e.g. regularly buying expensive alcohol is normalised in upper-middle-class economic tiers and that can EASILY cost hundreds a month. same thing with eating out/ordering in. america in particular has such a fucked-up idea of living within one's means that a lot of people struggle unnecessarily. i firmly maintain that folks making upward of 100k could live comfortably if they had an older (but fuel-efficient) car, lived in a smaller house, and bought less shit (especially on credit cards--cc debt will put you in the hole for a long time). like yes it's fucked that healthcare and college cost what they do in the us. that is something that needs to be fixed with policy, not personal choices. however, people COULD make better choices for their own individual situation a lot of the time. the average american dies in $62k of debt and i recommend looking up the breakdown bc $25k of that is student loans but $17k is auto loans. fundamentally, income, financial situation, and standards of living are deeply influenced by how you are raised. none of this is meant to be a personal critique bc i don't know you or your life, but you see your parents' financial situation through the lens of someone who has grown up in that situation. the things your parents choose to spend money on may not strike you as conscious decisions bc they're parts of your environment. it might be an interesting exercise to do a cost/budget breakdown on what your family spends every month on different things, and maybe compare it with the middle class crunch ones

this is like weirdly assuming but let’s go with it

i’d say that the situation a family like mine is in isnt normal !! a few years ago we were pretty solidly normal middle class and then fast forward a few years and we’re on our way to that cusp of upper class and based on what my mom thinks, over that bump by the time i’m out of college in 2026

but like ? some of these suggestions aren’t feasible ? like we Have to move to certain locations bc my dad’s job has yanked us around to work in spec areas and if ur talking good schools that means housing costs go up immensely. we only every had enough cars for both of my parents and they’re both cheaper than what they can definitely afford until my dad inherited his dad’s cars a few months back which aren’t like. in use or anything. they don’t drink, we never vacation, and our house is the size for the shit we buy and def can afford bc since both my parents grew up pretty poor and my mom is an immigrant they are insanely careful when it comes to spending money and carefully documenting literally Every single time they spend anything in this mass taxes spreadsheet system 😩 they’re still paying off student loans and w my mom’s job we’re lucky to have pretty good health insurance to cover my poor dad’s insane bills and they still have time to do hobbies w money that’s specifically budgeted out for them to do so and bc this is newer money we’re coming into- there’s no college fund set up for me ! it’s all just up in the air and bc my parents have a perception of college from 30 years ago they’re expecting it to be wayyyy less than the insane amount college actually is rn and u can poke holes in their system all u want but as far as my family goes we’re considered living more frugal !! so like. yeah an article put it down for u like that but i’m pretty aware that if my family went from Solid middle class and no where near upper to where we are now bc they can handle money- it’s just the college is an out of left field new contender that’s more expensive than it would’ve been if we never left a job my dad took a few years ago due to financial aid n stuff so i Get it but. i know what my family is struggling with ok?

[missnoirr]

1, 10, 12, 15, 19, 22, & 24 🤍

baby girl the way I almost straight up just said no <3 to answering half the list at once lmao, but alas: 

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

yes, several. my novel (not fanfiction) is currently lounging in the early stages of research because the commitment of it scares me and I honestly haven’t found the ability to write two things at once. 

I also have a whole spreadsheet of things I’m planning to write here but off of it ‘one in twenty lifetimes’ and ‘a sprig of lavender’ are both currently being held off because I want to finish pdd first, and because once in twenty lifetimes is going to be an insane amount of work for something no one wants to read anyway. 

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?

I’ll write with the playlist for the story on but I have to edit in silence. And alone, oh my god. No one can be breathing near me when I’m writing. I edited MMIYB with background noise and the editing is atrocious the whole way through. one day I’ll delete that whole fic lmao 

12) your weaknesses as an author

To name a few: three quarters of my sentences need to be rephrased. I can’t transition scenes effectively. I forget that everyone hasn’t lived and breathed the world in my head with me and therefore forget to include details or information they’d want that I have. Some of the characters I write just suck and they never do what I want them to do. 

Also in general, I hate everything I’ve ever written with a fury. 

15) why did you start writing?

I’ve always written. I can’t stop. I started writing a book about my friends when I was ten and versions of that story still exist on my computer to this day drafted and redrafted through the years. Its something I’ll alway do, whether I’m putting it anywhere or not. 

19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

I could give you a full breakdown of the whole System I have for pdd’s planning and construction but that would require a Lot of words and pictures so I’m not doing that when no one wants it lmao. but as a general rule I keep an excel sheet that outlines scenes per chapter, a plan that notes the Big thing that happens each chapter and the time (vaguely) thats passing, a planning sheet that has snippets from scenes that haven’t been finished yet, timeline, and world building notes. 

Luckily, I also have a pretty good memory for my own world. If I know something about the story: I know it, whether I write it down or not. 

22) are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

As a fanfiction trope? Gender swap that makes same sex couples straight. I think its one of the most egregiously homophobic things that I’ve ever seen and it, along with the fact that I’m not allowed to criticise it makes my blood boil. So I’d never write that. 

Also sexual assault, abuse of any form, disability etc. I think to write it you have to be certain that you have developed a nuanced, productive, meaningful and, critically, necessary portrayal and I’m not sure I’d ever be sure enough. I don’t care what other people write for the most part but I do think there is a conversation to be had about the carelessness fanfiction has allowed in the handling of subjects like that. 

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

literally the way I know too much about the history of certain bushfires and divorce laws in california where I’ve never been, god willing never will be and certainly never will get divorced 

[thesewomenrulemyworld]

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[oliviasugarbabe]

i hope im not bothering you, but im a fandom writer and im greatly interested in the sugar baby lifestyle, so i was hoping to ask a few questions! is the stereotypical lifestyle of a sugar baby exaggerated or is it genuinely like that for some? is there something that most people don’t understand about with the relationship and what goes on, or is it as simple as it is portrayed in the media? do you have any tips when writing about being a sugar baby? thank you very much, i appreciated it! 💓

Not at all babe! I haven’t made a post like this yet so let me just write out a whole response about this stuff! I have lots to say to bear with me haha. I know you’re asking for your writing but I get constant questions about if sugaring is really this easy great glamorous thing from those thinking about doing it so I’m just gonna cover it all. 

 Yes the stereotypical lifestyle of a sugar baby is exaggerated, it’s not as simple as hopping on an app and getting a date with a reasonably attractive older man who will shower you with money and gifts for nearly nothing in return. I always tell girls this! It looks more like being active on multiple apps/sites and/or freestyling. It looks like hours upon hours on your phone perfecting your profiles, chatting with men who often will be time-wasters with no intention of spoiling you, and tons of dates with time-wasters too. Also, hours of screening men to make sure they’re legit. An insane amount of grooming yourself. Nails, hair, waxing/shaving, teeth whitening, exfoliating, moisturizing, soft feet, gym, perfume, makeup, cute lingerie, not getting the tattoo you want, even perhaps fillers and plastic surgery (I have tattoos and no surgery and I’m not skinny, but I know I’m giving up lots of rich older traditional men by looking this way) Having a spreadsheet to keep track of the lies you tell to each man (honestly that part is fun for me tho) and just way more work than you’d think from the popular stereotype. 

Lots of men won’t give you the money you want, and it can take a long time to find a guy who will and you might not even like him. Sugaring also includes fucking old, wrinkly men like a porn star and 100% making them think you love it. They’ll do weird shit like lick your whole face and you gotta pretend that’s fine too. These are rich, often white, privileged men from a generation and brotherhood that often look down on women and you have to fake the correct personality with each one. Can you drop everything to travel with him? Can you come up with a lie for your parents/roommates/friends? Can you say “no” to bareback sex in a cute way? Answer his call/text when you’re in bed and just wanna be left alone with Netflix? Ask for money without being nervous? Can you keep the conversation going on a date if he’s boring and awkward as hell? Giggle when he shits on your generation and other women? Not feel guilty about his wife he’s cheating on? Lie to everyone you know? Read on the internet about how disgusted some people are about what you do for money? Be seen with him in public? Be spotted by someone you know? Sure, these things are technically optional; you can just refuse every man who isn’t perfect, but a lot of women on here are afraid to talk about the fact that when you’re doing this because you need money, there are often tradeoffs and boundaries crossed in order to get paid, because that’s what sex work often is. I think it’s glamorized a lot and that ultimately hurts sex workers. I need breaks sometimes when I can’t take it anymore and I don’t have a current “main” daddy. Sex work has also done serious damage to my desire to EVER be in a normal relationship with a man, get married, or have kids. I already pretty much hated men but now I hate them more lmao. 

Lastly, like any sex worker, you perhaps will have to live with the constant risk of being outed to your family and friends, and the risk of having one of these men do something horrible to you. 

But yes, some girls DO live that lifestyle we dream of but it’s rare and hard to find and these women are often models or at least look like ones, live in the right cities, have the right connections, etc and just have access to that shit in ways that I don’t and many women don’t. Privilege still shows its face in the sugar bowl! Truthfully, there’s generally, for most of us, more money in escorting. Way more payoff for your time. I’d rather just have sex and leave with my hourly rate than spend all this time and energy being a whole girlfriend most of the time if I’m being honest. 

As for what the relationships are like, refer to the details above lol! Aside from that I should say I’ve had some good relationships but they’re men like any other. I deal with neediness, clinginess, condescension, etc a lot. They’ll flake on dates. Resist spending money just when you thought they might be a serious daddy. And again, it’s not just about being young and attractive. You usually also have to be interesting, smart but not too smart, sexy but not slutty, fuck like a porn star, confident, and sometimes, not show much that you’re a real person. Like, you can cry in front of a real boyfriend. If you cry in front of your sugar daddy, you might get dropped like a hot potato. You know what I mean? Be a perfect girl on his arm, or he’ll find someone else. Some daddies are good men sure and not like this, but still, lots of sugar daddies are part of a certain lifestyle and attitude and they expect something specific in return for their money. 

Lastly, writing about sugaring and sex work is something I do for fun and to be a part of my own community and to give honest word about sex work. I think that writing about sex work is best left to sex workers. Fandom writing is fun and harmless tho! If you’re gonna write about us, you made a good start finding someone who is actually in that world to ask about it! Sex workers write books and blogs about this life and I recommend finding them. There are a lot of inaccurate, shitty, harmful portrayals of us out there and I hope you do whatever you can to not contribute to that! Although....if you’re writing a sexy fanfic or something I feel like it’s fine either way cause I’ve gotten hot and bothered by all kinds of severely problematic wattpad stories and such so like. Anyways, if you want me to keep helping you, you can DM me and I’ll answer your random writing questions. I understand completely why people are drawn to writing about sugar baby lifestyles, it’s just not always what they wanna hear. I hope your piece comes out good! I’d love to read it if you wanna share eventually! 

[malinkamax]

What is luxury?

When you see a $250 burger on the menu, first reaction most likely would be: “WTF?” , ”RIDICULOUS!”  "Only a ____ person would buy that." (What word did you use? Arrogant? Elitist? Jackass? Dumbass?)

Sure, you could take that approach and insult people who spend a lot on something. That’s what most people do. Or you can say, “Hmm… Who actually buys this and why?"

As a general rule, people who spend 100x more than other people are not stupid. There’s something else going on here.  Something that almost nobody talks about.

…Lets take a look into the world of LUXURY.

Luxury is one of those things that makes us feel happy, sad, angry, and jealous - all at the same time.  Yes, think about it…  For example, who the hell walks into a Tom Ford store and buys a $6,000 dress or suit…on a Wednesday? $6,000 for just ONE suit!  Just thinking about spending that much money on clothing makes some people cringe.  But notice that if you were given this suit for free - the same suit James Bond wears that fits like a glove - every single one of us would put it on with a huge grin and brag about it.

Most people think spending this kind of money is completely stupid and irrational. Some even laugh at the people flying first-class. "Lol, stupid. They paid 3x the airfare, but we’re all going to the same place. Ha ha.” But why don't you stop and ask, "Hey, I wonder why those people are spending that kind of money?"

You’ll notice that most frugalistas and experts completely dismiss the value of luxury. They see the world as a spreadsheet of dollars and cents that can be counted and should always be maximized to save as much money as possible. But you and I know that’s not how life works. Sure, saving is important, but if you can afford it and you want it, shouldn’t you be able to splurge to buy it - every once in a while? I say, spend extravagantly on the things you love…and cut costs mercilessly on the things you don’t.

Interesting? Now, do you see why we feel so conflicted about luxury?

We want it, but at the same time we don't. We see it everywhere, but nobody wants to talk about it publicly. We say certain things are "wasteful," but the $25 lunch we bought yesterday seems wasteful to someone who’s living on $25 a month and feeding a family of four.  And we’re all for luxury until we see how much it actually costs...at which point we instantly label it “ridiculous.”

Am I saying you should immediately go out and buy a $6,000 suit? No.

But what I am saying is that it’s better to understand what’s going on in this luxury world than to immediately write it off as "too expensive" or “stupid.”

In fact, I’ve seen my view of luxury change through the years because I've seen it from both sides of the table. In my first year in the States, I earned only $11,000 and I didn’t spend a lot on luxury then, nor I had much understanding. But as my income grew, I saw another side.  As I started seeing things from both perspectives, I learned to move past the sticker shock of saying "That cost HOW much? That’s insane!" and appreciate it instead.

Maybe your luxury is insane. Who cares?

Let’s get one thing clear: Luxury doesn’t have to mean a $50,000 dog house or a fur coat for every night of the week. YOU choose what luxury means to you.

I might think it’s insane, your college friend might think it’s insane, but if you’re getting superlative value from it, that’s luxury.

Instead of being dismissive of all luxuries (like I used to be), I decided to learn about the reasons behind why people pursue more, even when others might find it ridiculous or frivolous.

Check out what I learned:

LUXURY REASON #1: Functionality. I used to not understand people who got first-class airplane tickets by saying, “Ugh, we both get to the same place, and I just saved $2,000.” I was a stupid know-it-all when I said that. Now I know when you travel first class I can actually sleep well on cross-Atlantic flight, wake up fresh, have a decent breakfast before landing (therefore save time), and go straight to a meeting. Luxury can be functional.

LUXURY REASON #2: Economical. Luxury is, by definition, not cheap. But some people change from a “disposable” mentality of buying cheap umbrellas, cheap clothes, cheap EVERYTHING…to selectively buying the best and keeping it forever. I have few dresses and coats that costs what many would consider an obscene amount. Timeless and flawless after 10-20 years, and if you divide the price by amount of time — the price becomes much more palatable. And that says nothing about how much I love wearing it. There are very few things that give me more pleasure than turning heads when I walk in to a function or a ball in my custom Dolce & Gabanna dress.

LUXURY REASON #3: Jay-Z vs. Dorothy. So many people cannot fathom the idea that what costs a lot to you may not cost that much to someone else. Go look at literally any forum online about how much people paid for wedding rings. 90% of the respondents will say something like, “My husband paid $287 and we’ve been married for 30 years. Anyone who pays more is a fool!” That is great, Dorothy. But there are also people for whom $287 is like an eighth of a cent to you. They earned more, or they just have more (Jay-Z’s ring to Beyonce was wooping 5M, and Beyonce dropped 40M on a present to Jay-Z).  As you see it is all relative.

What’s important to understand is that YOUR FINANCIAL SITUATION IS NOT EVERYONE ELSE’S. And that is something to keep in mind when you open your mouth to say: “That’s crazy money!”