#yes i have aus about my own books don't you
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Thanks @ramblings-of-a-chaotic-neutral for tagging me! ❤️
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
Only 4, of which two are still incomplete! And one of which I'm co-writer.
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
63.373, without counting the one I'm co-writer, since technically @tansyuduri wrote it (go read her work too it's amazing!)
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Just Merlin, I don't think I'm going to write for more fandoms soon. I admire the ones who write for more than one fandom. I can barely keep up with one!
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Well, as I said, I only have four:
Saving the Dragonlord's Son | 600 Kudos (first book of the Series "The Dragonlord's son", completed)
Protecting the Dragonlord's Son | 311 Kudos (second book of the Series "The Dragonlord's son", still on going)
Merlin, Enchanted | 241 Kudos (co-writer with @tansyuduri , completed)
From the Grave to the Cradle | 168 Kudos (another time travel AU I left on hold, but I do plan to continue)
5. Do you respond to comments?
Yes, but I mostly do it when I'm about to update, and I take a while to do so with my works in AO3, so I also take I while to respond too. But I do read all the comments. They make me so happy!😄
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Well, most of my works are still unfinished so... But I would say "From the Grave to the Cradle" is the angstiest one there.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Oh, "Merlin, Enchanted" has a happy ending (after making you suffer), but I don't know if it counts since the credit there is not only because I was co-writer. If it doesn't, then it would be "Saving the Dragonlord's Son" though is just the first book of a series.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
No. Everyone has been veri nice so far.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Not yet, but I do plan to two of my stories to have smut at some point. I hope I'm decent at it.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
No, I've never written a crossover.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
No, as far as I know.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
I translated two of my fics myself to spanish, since that's my first language really.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
With @tansyuduri so far.
14. What’s your all time favourite ship?
Merthur! And it'll probably be for a long time. The fandom never dies!
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Not that I think I never will, but I think it's the one that will be more difficult to finish, is "From the Grave to the Cradle". It's a time travel Au where Merlin from the future kidnaps baby Arthur and gives him to an old farmer couple in Ealdor to raise as their own. I have a lot of drafts of it of random moments, but in script format.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Well, a friend of mine told me I'm good at writing in third person and another that I know how to reflect the character's iner thoughts and emotions. I also have good ideas, I guess.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Just as @ramblings-of-a-chaotic-neutral, procrastination 😅. Mostly because writing in fic format in english is not easy for me, I tend to demand too much from myself. That's what I rather write in script format in tumblr.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Besides my translated fics to spanish, using Old english every time Merlin uses a spell is quite fun. MerlinOldEnglishTranslator helps a lots.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
It was actually "Aristemo", a gay ship from a mexican telenovela, but I did it in Wattpad.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
Technically is not a fic since is not in AO3, but my "Arthur and Merlin travel back in time without knowing the other is from the future too AU" that I have in tumblr.
I tag @tansyuduri , @theroundbartable , @rubinaitoart
Twenty Questions for Fanfic Writers
Thank you @liviapeleia for the asks <3!!
Tagging longtime frond @breadkween, fabulous runner of @merlinmicrofic @queerofthedagger (thank you!) and reader and writer who's left me lovely comments @achillesuwu. @mythandmagic, Ao3 is down rn so I can't check but if you have any fics yourself, here's an ask game for you! There's no obligation, presh or time limit of course! Also like @liviapeleia said before me, consider yourself tagged if you see this!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
11
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
265,960
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Right now just Merlin. I've written for other fandoms in the past but each of those works have been standalone.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Always His Destiny | Merlin | A true love's kiss, resurrection and golden age AU written for Glompfest 2024.
Like Every Tree Stands On Its Own | Merlin | A longfic inspired by other Arthurian media/sources featuring Wildman Prophet!Merlin and a magical forest. This is my magnum opus.
What's Mightier Than a Sword and Robs a Prince of His Servant? | Merlin | Pre-slash Merthur minor canon-divergence in which Merlin's talents in speech writing land him a promotion and Arthur is Not Pleased™.
Only Human | Venom | A short gift/exchange fic about masturbation, lol. The fic I received in exchange was also about masturbation. In my defence this was a writing exercise (I promise).
The Sky Is Falling | Nightvale | Unfinished fic about alcoholism recovery, love, community and the complete collapse of reality.
...Okay wow what a mix :D
5. Do you respond to comments?
I really love comments and I love getting into discussions with readers! It really makes my day to see that someone has commented on one of my fics.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Am I allowed to choose a soon to be published WIP? Words Are Dead, a microfic inspired by the Agnes Obel song of the same name in which Merlin and Arthur are unable to communicate when Arthur returns. Merlin has lost Brythonic, his first language, and his capacity to relearn it. He's simply been alive for far too long and his mind has suffered :(
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Like Every Tree has a prolonged bittersweet kind of ending but I think Always His Destiny wins.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Nope/not yet!
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Yes, though so far it hasn't been the focus of any of my works, there's no reason why that can't change though (the Venom one doesn't count, I make the rules here). As to what kind I'd say loving and intimate, I guess? Sometimes with a bit of a hurt/comfort element to it. Again, no reason why I can't branch out in the future ;)
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
While not labelled as a crossover, Like Every Tree was heavily inspired by Arthurian media both new and old, and one medieval Irish source. I did so much research for this fic and I'm still down those various rabbit holes. It was a homage to my favourite, janky cartoon movie from my childhood Quest for Camelot. Otherwise I don't write proper crossovers.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Don't think so.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Also don't think so.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No but I would love to!
14. What’s your all time favourite ship?
I guess it really has to be Merthur! I don't recall a ship ever having such a hold on me. Those two are doomed but made for each other. The way they interact is so much fun to read/write.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Damn, this is definitely Be Here When the Weather Turns, a Mushi-shi fic. It has a very soft, restful and liminal vibe and I adore it. I really do wish I can finish it someday. So sometimes like a song, you share a piece of media with someone, or you associate it with a particular chapter in your life, and that song/piece of media brings up feelings. I'd like to think it's still worth a read. If you don't know Mushi-shi, please consider checking it out, it was weird and quiet and beautiful.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I can't deny that I put a lot of love into this hobby. Also @breadkween has told me that they really like my dialogue :3
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
I'm really prone to typos. I can re-read something a hundred times and just fail to see them. I'm a very slow writer; what I put out usually goes through months of edits and change-ups. Lastly I have embraced a faux-pas or two for fun, such as starting sentences with 'and.' And no one can stop me >:)
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I'd only be comfortable writing dialogue in a language I've formerly learned and have some level of familiarity with for fear of getting something wrong.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Okay I love this question because the answer is the highly formative Garth Nix's Keys to the Kingdom series, a YA series I was obsessed with, and have continued to read, and re-read as an adult and as unexpected prequels and sequels popped up in more recent years. I wrote it on a literal floppy disk :D First fandom I wrote for that I actually published online was Undertale.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
Definitely Like Every Tree. I'm just really proud of it :3
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𝐡𝐞’𝐬 𝐝𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬! fluff, suggestiveness - talking about/hinting towards satoru fingering/eating you out but nothing happens, kissing, satoru fondly makes fun of you a lil, he also carries you around, collage au, collage student!reader, collage student!gojo
fey: I’m still gonna be on hiatus for a little longer but in the mean time have this fluff nugget inspired by my hubby
Satoru huffs and pokes your cheek till you swat his hand away. He flops on the bed next to you, the soft breeze and movement disturbing your carefully placed papers.
You whine “Satoru!”
“Sweet pie! You’ve been studying and working in that essay all day for the past three days please!” He throws his hand across his forehead, clutching his chest. “I beg of you feed me attention before I starve. I’m wilting away before you! How cold hearted can you be.” His eyes are with tears.
Tossing your throw blanket over him, “This should keep you warm.” You take you eyes off the screen to read the open text book next to you. Before referring to your notes then glancing back up at your computer screen.
He pops his head out from underneath the blanket with gasp. “No I’m not cold! You’re cold hearted!” He sits up and wraps his arms around you. “Please just an hour, we can order some food, take a shower get you out of your funky funk.” Pinching his nose and waving his hand in front of his face.
“You’re foul.”
You can hear the smile in his voice. “Like your armpits! Study starting break now! I your wonderful boyfriend refuse to let you be stinky.” He slowly closes the lid on the rough draft of your paper.“I’ll help you write some more after, if you don’t give your mind a break you’ll fry it and make it useless.” He kisses the top of your head.
“Let’s go lil’ stink!” He drags you off the bed, your feet dangle in the air as he holds you to his chest.
Squeezing you whilst you protest, “Hey you can’t steal that! I don’t wanna hear it from the one with the stanky attitude making me take a break for my health how dare you.” He carefully sets you down in the bathroom.
He waves a hand in your direction, “Yes yes, how dare I care for my beautiful girlfriend and rub her naked body down with my large soapy hands in a warm shower, that I as her perfect boyfriend know the temperature of.”
He lights some of the candles arranged around the bathroom. And starts the heater that he insists your bathroom needs. After not stepping into another cold bathroom after a hot shower you can understand why.
You rid yourself of your clothes, throwing them into the hamper. “Do you need to toot you own horn?” Relieving yourself then washing your hands.
Turning around and watching him strip. His arms flex as he pulls his black shirt off. His v line peeks out of his sweatpants, which he pushes down. Your gaze lingers on his soft cock and large balls before you glance up into his sparkling blue eyes.
He corners you against the counter, booping the tip of your nose with his long finger. “You’ve been neglecting me for days I might need to remind you what a awesome boyfriend I am! What if you’ve forgotten!” He pouts.
You slide your fingers through his soft silver white hair. Pulling him in, your lips close to his, “I could never forget, you won’t let me, but I suppose it’s part of your charm. I guess it’s kind of cute when you’re cocky.”
Satoru smirks into the slow passionate kiss he gives you. Lifting you up, reflexively you wrap your legs around his waist. It’s easy to forget everything when you’re kissing him. There is the safety of his arms, the sweet passion of his soft lips on yours.
When he breaks away Satoru suggests, “After our shower would it be too cruel of me to give my girl a happy ending? As some stress relief and reward for all her studying of course.” He massages your cheek. His large warm hand feels wonderful targeting your sore spots.
You softly groan, “Please! I don't know if I wanna ride your face, fingers or cock.”
“Why not all three one after another? I can suck on your pretty clit and let you cum on my fingers then I can fill you up.” He carries you into the warm shower, supporting you with one hand. Closing the curtain behind himself.
He stands underneath the warm water, steam billowing off it. “‘M sorry for not texting for three days, you know I’ve missed my amazing boyfriend, you’re just so talented at so many things like distracting me when I need to study.” He helps you onto your feet, placing your backside facing towards the rushing water.
He protests, “I can behave and help you study.” Pouring some of his favorite strawberry and sugar scented body wash onto his hand.
You close your eyes tilting your head back. Soaking your curls and letting the water wash over your face. The water melts away some of the tension building in your neck and shoulders.
You rub your right shoulder and winch whilst insisting, “You tell me that every time.” Turning around and stepping out of the water, closing your eyes. It’s relaxing knowing he’ll take care of you, from washing your body, to treating your curls to applying your face care.
Rubbing soap over your back and ass, leaving soapy white bubbles. He massages your shoulders whilst pleading his case, “Please lemme help you study! We have the same essay due and test to take. Our study sessions is how we got together I miss them.”
You softly sigh and cave in, “I miss them too, ok you win can stay, you’re too charming.”
He playful croons “I always win.” Kissing the top of your wet head. “You won't regret it I'll be the best study buddy!” You widely smile, the delight in Satoru’s voice is heartwarming.
#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk fluff#gojo fluff#gojo x reader#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#gojo satoru x reader#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo fluff#gojo satoru fluff#satoru gojo x you
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Make Me Weak, Part 1
Pairing: Sex Therapist!Terry Richmond x Sub!Black!Fem!/ Plus Size reader
Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, You are in charge of your own reading experience. Intentional use of AAVE. Cursing, mentions of depression, anxiety, and description of sex acts and sexual issues. Power imbalance, Shy!reader. Dark!Terry. Dom!Terry, AU Terry, all consensual. Sorry if I missed some. I'm not a therapist and while I do not make light of therapy, this is purely for my own fun. Please seek real medical attention when necessary.
Summary: Desperately at your absolute limit, you decide to see one last therapist to try and help with your condition. After one session, Dr. Richmond manages to put you at ease, giving you enough tools to start you on your journey. As the exploration continues, your true hope is that you don’t get burned.
Word Count: 4,648k
AO3 Link | Part 2
A/N: Don't judge me for this chile. I saw that beautiful man in a black turtleneck with glasses and lost my marbles. I had TOO much fun writing this and you will not hurt my feelings if you don't want to read this one. However, I must tag to keep my taglist updated. Forgive me, my loves. Toss a coin to your blogger by leaving a comment, gif, or unhinged ask.
You
He came highly recommended. That was the only reason you were here. You’d stared at his pictures and read all of the available posts recommending him but you couldn’t get over the fact that he was so damn pretty. And intimidating.
But after going through nine different therapists, most who ended up as creeps or couldn’t help you, you were at your wit’s end. It was already embarrassing enough starting over with a brand new therapist, but this had to take the cake.
The hallway was quiet, with muted browns and reds. Supposedly academic, soothing colors. As if the darker the color, the less likely you were to think about anything sexual. You stared at the imposing brown door with his name embossed on a placard. Dr. Terry Richmond.
You bit your lip and stared at the slip in your hand with the referral scrawled across it. He took on special cases. Pathetic cases.
“Fuck this,” you said to yourself. You turned on your heel and stepped down the hallway. The door opened and the man himself looked down the hallway.
“Are you my two o’clock?” He asked. His deep baritone was unexpected. Soothing. Calming. Unnerving.
“Uh,” you sighed.
He continued to stare so you continued to stare back. He wore an all black outfit, right down to his black tennis shoes. He wore a long sleeved black T-shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his forearms. Black, form fitting pants that only highlighted how tall he was. He had to be 6’1. Hell, possibly 6’3.
He cleared his throat, looking for an answer. Light refracted off of his frames, temporarily hiding his eyes. You gripped the straps of your purse and squared your shoulders. “Yes,” you said.
Dr. Richmond nodded his head and waved you inside. You walked behind him, feeling like you were walking to your doom. Inside his office, it was just as drab as outside.
Bookshelves lined the walls, stuffed with medical texts and non-fictional books on powerful Black figures through history. The office was small, but clean, with a golden brown sofa pushed against a solid wall of taupe. He had a painting above the sofa, showing a serene ocean view with a boat out on the water.
Natural light filtered into the room from a window showcasing the cityscape outside. His office was high up in the building, letting you look down on all the people living their normal lives.
The door closed behind you and you jumped, whipping around to see Dr. Richmond leaning away from the door. He raised his hands. “I’m sorry, would you like it to remain open?” He asked.
You shook your head. Closed was preferable. You watched Dr. Richmond take his seat behind a massive desk, everything in a neat stack and in its proper place. He rolled forward and then opened a black folder, picking up a pen.
“Please, have a seat. Tell me about yourself,” he said.
“My thick ass file didn’t give me away? Sorry, I shouldn’t say ass. Sorry,” you said and winced after cussing so much. You pointed to a thick file on his desk and you knew without a doubt that it was yours.
It was crazy how you had a full record of your insanity, detailing how you started down this deep, dark path. Cataloged every doctor, every note, every nasty thought in your mind. Okay, you were being a little dramatic, but this was just so…embarrassing. And it didn’t help to have someone who looked like that hearing what you had to say.
“There’s no rules here. You want to say ass, go for it,” he said and shrugged.
You giggled, feeling more at ease. You nodded and took a seat on the sofa. There was a clear coffee table in front of it that held a zen garden complete with little trees, shiny rocks, and…were those Lego figures? You looked from it to him and he smirked, drawing your attention to his full, lush lips.
“Some people find it easier to occupy their hands during discussions. You can give it a try if you want,” he said.
You sat back on the sofa. Maybe later. You felt too awkward as is. Like you were some alien visitor testing out your disguise on the human population. You rubbed your sweaty palms on your leggings and shook your head. “What, uh, did my file say about me?”
Dr. Richmond shrugged and leaned back in his seat, fixing his thin gold glasses on his face. “Those are words and opinions from other doctors. I’d rather hear what you have to say,” he said and leaned back in his seat.
He was so…disarming in a way that allowed you to release the ironclad control you held on to. You picked at your nails and focused on that, rather than his stormy eyes. “I think I’m broken. And I’m not entirely sure why I’m even entertaining this,” you said.
“Why are you then?” He prompted.
You shrugged your shoulders. “Tired of feeling like a freak,” you said.
“A freak? Why would you use that term?” He asked.
You snuck a glance at him. He no longer held the pen. He rested his hands against his stomach, clasped, and just looked at you. Even that was different from all your other therapists combined.
“Because that’s what it feels like. Like I’m in a freak show. I–,” you stopped and licked your lips. But you were here now. May as well rip the bandaid off. “I can’t cum! And I know, it’s normal. I know plenty of people experience it. I know that women especially have a hard time doing it. But no matter what I fuckin’ try, I just can’t. I feel it coming, I know it’s coming, but then it sort of…goes away? And then I’m sitting there embarrassed that I can’t and when I’m with a partner, they pretend that it’s cool, but then I never hear from them again.”
You clicked your teeth shut as you realized you were rambling. You picked at a stiff hangnail, tugged at it until it started to hurt. You continued flicking at it, egged on by your awkwardness. And realizing you were being awkward was only making it worse. So you picked. And picked, until the hangnail tore and hurt worse.
“Why is it important that you cum?” He asked.
“What?” You asked. You looked at him, expecting to see pity. Disgust. Curiousness. Dr. Richmond held none of those things. His face was a pillar of stoicism, balancing the perfect mix of professionalism and empathy.
“Why is it so important to you? If you know that it’s normal and plenty of people experience it, shouldn’t the journey matter more than the destination?” He asked.
Your mouth fell open on a silent gasp as you looked at him. Your mind emptied of every single possible answer to that question. It was important because…it was. Because you never got anything else right either. You were always a step behind, slow on the uptick, feeling like you were taking up too much space in the world even after shrinking yourself to the smallest possible point.
Not easy to do considering your size. You loved your body and wouldn’t trade it for the world, but it wasn’t exactly easy to hide. You were unassuming, sweet, kind, and a great friend. But beneath all of that, you wanted desperately to fit in. This was a basic human release. It was part of the big three things that humans needed. Food, safety, sex. And you could only achieve one of those things.
But how did you word that without sounding like a pathetic kook? You pulled at the hangnail, felt the burn as it ripped, and shrugged your shoulders. Might as well tell the truth. “Because I feel like a freak when I can’t. Like I waited too long. To have sex, to experience life, to explore what I’m into,” you said.
“Do you think there are goal posts for life?” He asked. He may as well have been a statue for how often he moved. He retained his position, chair turned slightly towards you, as he looked at you like you were a puzzle.
“Isn’t there? That’s why we call them milestones? Reach your 18th birthday, yay you’re an adult. Find the love of your life, yay you’re married. Pop out some kids, yay, you’re continuing the bloodline. I feel like now, at my age, I should know what one fuckin’ orgasm feels like,” you said.
“How do you know you haven’t had one already?” He asked.
“I know my body. There’s nothing. There’s the build up, there’s the excitement, there’s everything leading up to it. But I never get over that peak. It just…goes away,” you said.
Dr. Richmond nodded and turned his attention to the pad. He wrote down a few sentences and it was so quiet in his office, you could hear a clock ticking nearby. You also heard his pen scratch against the paper. He must be using some fancy, fountain pen. He looked the type.
“What do you hope to achieve through therapy?” He asked.
You shrugged. “If I knew, you wouldn’t be my tenth therapist,” you said with a heavy sigh. When you first thought about going to therapy, you thought it wasn’t truly for you. There was nothing that really bothered you outside of life’s stress. Everybody had that.
But you ended up finding some that encouraged you to dig deep and find the woman within. The one comfortable in her skin. Encouraged you to explore your sexuality and think about it in depth. You crawled through so many forums, so many health websites, so many articles that you had a great idea of what ailed you.
“There has to be a reason you keep trying,” he said.
You leaned back into the sofa with a huff. “You definitely ask the easy questions. What happened to the intake and whatever?” You asked.
Dr. Richmond chuckled. He tapped his pen against your folder. “You’ve done plenty of that, don’t you think?”
Your lips twisted with a smile. Okay, maybe you were starting to see why he was so highly recommended. He was comforting without being condescending. Soothing without being smarmy. He treated you like an adult and for the first time, you had a little beacon of hope.
“I keep trying because I want it. I don’t have the words right now to describe why I want it. I want to know the hype. I want the relief. I want to know what post nut clarity feels like,” you said.
Dr. Richmond chuckled and you chuckled with him. It sounded funny, but you were so serious. It was exhausting at this point. Pretending like you knew what the fuck you were talking about when others asked you. Your group chat blew up with your equally single friends who were less discerning about who they took to bed.
Every other night, there were stories about dick sizes, oral, and a whole treatise on the lack of finesse these guys had. You almost snorted thinking about your best friend, Brooklyn, and how she said that no wonder men were trapping women in marriages in the past. It was the only way they could get women to be with them. It certainly wasn’t because of their pornographic sexual prowess.
“What’s been your journey with sex so far?” He asked.
You took a deep breath and told him all about it. The way that you picked up a book one day with sex in it and never looked back. In a lot of ways, that book probably shaped how you viewed sex and your sexual kinks. Before long, you were searching for more and more books with the exact same tropes. A sexy, semi-asshole alpha male that was too big to be real. 7’8, long dick, and a short attitude. Typically bad boy types with tattoos and “touch her and die” vibes. The kind to only be soft with the female main character.
You could wax poetic about why it appealed to you. Blah blah blah, you had a terrible childhood where you felt invisible. It was all there in the file if he wanted to take a gander.
“I know I’m submissive, that I want to be dominated in bed. But, whew, the game out here is ridiculous,” you said. “The men I wouldn’t mind submitting to are too damn weak to take control. The men I would never submit to act like I’m their pet already and can speak to me however they want.”
“Do you think you’re being too picky?” He asked.
You were startled into a laugh. “What gave me away, Dr. Richmond?” You asked.
Dr. Richmond chuckled. “I have a process, bear with me,” he said. That ain’t all you wanted to do. He was fine as hell. You mentally shook your head. No, you could not go there. Not at all.
You continued to discuss how you led to certain conclusions. Yes, you were picky. But why shouldn’t you be? You weren’t seeking perfection. You just wanted something normal. Something healthy. Something toe curling, mind numbing, sickeningly disgusting and sweet. Was that too much to ask for?
Dr. Richmond asked more questions and you relaxed fraction by fraction, getting right to the core of why you were seeking professional help. You told him about some of the partners you had. Some who were sweet and really tried. You had a long term boyfriend at one point who was attentive and caring. But he fell short of making you cum.
He ate you out long enough to get you wet and going and then jumped straight to sex just so he could cum. You often lied about cumming until it got too exhausting to keep up with. He promptly got mad, hurt that you lied, and possibly embarrassed that he wasn’t God’s gift to sex. His loss.
It was awkward at first to discuss such intimate details with Dr. Richmond but you often forgot he was even there. Until he asked you to expand on something you said or ask a clarifying question. Even the scratch of his pen faded into the background as you spoke about how you arrived in his office.
Dr. Richmond finally finished and leaned back in his seat once more, squaring his broad shoulders against the high back of his chair. He crossed his leg and looked at you and you briefly wondered what he’d look like without the glasses.
“We’re nearing the end of our session but I think I’m getting a clearer picture of why you’re here. After hearing from you and looking through your file, it seems like your perception of what sex really is has been skewed. Either through these books, these movies, or even porn. It’s perfectly okay to consider what you like in bed or what you prefer in a partner. But most people’s foray into their sexual journey starts with themselves. What’s your relationship like with your body?”
“I love my body,” you said, immediately. Why wouldn’t you love your body? You were gorgeous. Sure, you struggled with your weight, but you didn’t want to be thin anyway. You just wanted to roll out of bed without being out of breath sometimes. Or cut your toenails without having to stop every few minutes for air.
Dr. Richmond licked his lips and your eyes dropped immediately to it. He rubbed the corner of his mouth with his thumb and it drew your attention to his big hands. Too damn bad you hadn’t met him under better circumstances. You bet he could make you cum. Often.
“What else?” He asked.
“What else is there?” You asked, clearing your throat, and drawing your attention away from how drop dead gorgeous he was. Your thoughts ran wild still, picturing him in all sorts of nasty scenarios. If nothing else, your imagination was always there to show you a good time. Your own perfect world where you experienced back to back orgasms.
“What has your personal sexual journey encompassed besides you loving your body? Do you touch yourself?” He asked.
You fought every urge you had to squeeze your thighs together. How the hell did this man end up in this profession? He missed his calling as a phone sex operator. Or an erotic audio content creator. Good lord, he could have people eating out of the palm of his hand if he so wished. Swimming in a tub full of money earned from hundreds of thousands of horny bitches who could cum to his voice alone. Lucky bitches.
You shrugged. “Of course I touch myself. I can’t cum that way either,” you said.
Dr. Richmond chuckled. “This only works if you lower them walls you try so hard to hide behind,” he said.
You kissed your teeth and rolled your eyes to the ceiling. The hell did he know. So what if he had fancy doctor diplomas behind his chair. So what if he had a MD in this field. What the hell did he know?
After cursing him out two ways from Sunday in your mind, you deflated. “I know I’m not relaxed when I masterbate. I lock my door, I put on headphones, and I still feel like I’m…”
“Like you’re…?” Dr. Richmond prompted.
“Being watched? Being judged? You can probably guess I grew up religious. It’s not like I had enough time or space to explore my body. My room was directly next to my parents’. If I so much as sighed too loud, my mom was banging on my wall telling me to fix my attitude,” you admitted. That had been oodles of fun. Growing up, you couldn’t even roll your eyes without someone telling you to fix your face.
“What does relax you then?” He asked.
“When I find out, I’ll tell you,” you said.
Dr. Richmond smiled, showing off a dazzling, mega-watt movie star smile that made your knees weak. If you weren’t already sitting down, you’d fall flat on your face.
“I believe I can help you, but you have to be willing to do the work. I need total, focused commitment from you. Do you think you can do that?” He asked.
“Yes,” you said instantly. There wasn’t even a question. You wanted this more than breathing, more than eating. And that was saying something because you would happily drive far and wide for a good meal.
Dr. Richmond nodded. “Good. I’m giving you homework. I want you to spend the next week exploring your body. Nothing sexual. Spend time in your body and with your body. Touch yourself, but no masterbating. When you shower, acknowledge your body. When you lotion up, pay attention to every mole, every scar. This is the only body you’ll ever have so it’s time to think beyond simple body maintenance. Admire your body. I also want you to keep a journal. You won’t share it with me unless you want to, but this exercise is to get you in tune with your body. Rewire how you perceive sex and sexual completion. Does that sound doable?”
You nodded, not trusting your voice at the moment. He must not know the effect he had on those around him. He had to be completely clueless. Batshit fucking oblivious. The wreck he was having on your libido was absolutely insane.
Joking aside, you were taking this seriously. In just one session, Dr. Richmond managed to give you a tiny spark of hope. That maybe you weren’t a lost cause. You immediately tempered your thoughts. Hope hurt. You’d been hopeful so many times in the past, with different therapists, who seemed like they had a plan to help you.
Only for them to diagnose some other problem. You had anxiety, duh. You had depression, shocker. You had a laundry list of diagnoses from doctors and therapists who just thought you were obsessed with sex. That was like saying the sky was blue. Who wasn’t obsessed with sex? Besides asexual people.
“I’ll do it,” you said.
“Good,” he said. He went over your schedule, working out a time to see him once a week until you would eventually graduate to fewer sessions. That bummed you out. Not seeing his gorgeous face ever again? Could you fake another issue and continue seeing him?
Dr. Richmond dismissed you and you left his office feeling a smidgen lighter than when you entered. Maybe this would actually work out. Maybe.
Terry
Terry finished with his last client of the day and went over his notes, inputting his clearer thoughts into the patient portal on his laptop. When he ran across your file, he paused and opened it once more.
Your case fascinated him. He couldn’t stop pouring over your files, doctor’s notes, direct quotes. There had been plenty of therapists before him, all trying to help the beautiful woman who entered his office earlier in the afternoon.
He wasn’t immune to his patients. Some were beautiful and charming and all tried to flirt their way into his bed. He never crossed that line. Never. Yet…when you discussed your story, the rawness of it captivated him. He held onto your every word like you were a theater production right before his eyes.
He hardly took notes because he was so fascinated with the dichotomy of you. On the outside, you were a bit shy. Perhaps too self-aware which led you to shrink, hide who you really were. He got the sense that there was an entire universe wrapped up in your mind and he began asking deeper questions than he ever had on a first session.
The hour had gone by too fast for his tastes. He wanted to hear more. Learn more. Know more. He hated to admit it, he even got semi-erect as you told your tale. He was understandably disgusted and it wasn’t the first time; occupational hazard. But it was the first time he’d ever cursed his medical degree.
You were perfect. Absolutely perfect. When you admitted to being submissive, his dick even twitched. Ached. Why couldn’t he have met you somewhere else? Surely, fate hadn’t been so cruel as to put the perfect sub within reach and then ensure that he could never have you? Never touch you?
Describing your previous lovers actually made his chest boil. You had been subjected to ignorant men who wouldn’t know what to do with a woman like you. And they had you believing that you were the problem. It was laughable. It was maddening. It was cruel.
He frowned at your file. He had gone over it so many times in preparation for the session. He didn’t know what would walk through the door. A file this thick? He thought he’d have a sex-obsessed, delusional fiend on his hands that he’d have to contend with.
Your wish of cumming was almost cute. Terry sighed. He shouldn’t be thinking it was cute. If anything, he should be passing your case off to his colleague down the hall. Dr. Crawford was as capable as Terry was, their ideas often aligning in regards to treatment.
He preferred a holistic approach. Most problems could be resolved within a few months, once people began to shift their idea of sex and their role in it.
“Everything is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power.” That was one of his favorite quotes, said so many times that no one truly knew where it originated.
It was a quote he often repeated to his patients at the right moment. When they were beginning to discover a part of themselves previously unexplored. He wondered how long it would take for your moment? That dawning realization.
He was only sad he couldn’t see it in real time. That moment when you let yourself feel. Let yourself relax and sink into that subspace you so desperately needed. Terry grunted and closed your file.
He was about to crack you open like an egg and watch a brand new woman emerge. He was about to hand you off to the first man who pretended to understand your needs. He took out his fresh notepad, every patient got one, and scribbled some more notes. He’d have to make sure you understood the difference between a real dom and a little boy playing dress up.
His eyes scanned across his earlier notes, little things he jotted down while you spoke. Areas you skipped over, areas you expanded on. They were only a sentence or two long, something to kickstart his memory. Because at the time, his eyes were focused on you. On your face, your voice, your mannerisms.
It was both a curse and a blessing to notice so much. See so much. Understand so much. But it worked when necessary. You deflected about your sexual partners, retreated when he tried to push further about how you reached these conclusions. What methods you tried.
Usually, Terry did a whole song and dance to ease patients into talking about sex. Sex was taboo until it was time to have it. Now everything was awkward, unbalanced, and led to too many instances of abuse.
But between your file and how skittish but determined you seemed, you didn’t need a song and dance. You needed someone to give you guideposts. You didn’t truly need therapists. You just needed a nudge in the right direction. A nudge to someone else.
Terry pursed his lips and looked at your name on the file. He had to be careful. If he wasn’t, you would end up being trouble in more ways than one.
He finished up the last of his notes and then scanned through for anything he might have missed. He wrote down what your homework assignment was. He hadn’t truly known where that came from.
Perhaps it was the look in your eyes. Perhaps it was the helpless, frantic twist to your mouth that had him going from zero to one hundred where you were concerned. But the more he described it, the lower your eyes went. The way your mouth slackened just a bit. As if you were caught in some picture in your mind that he couldn’t see.
Terry leaned away from his desk and looked outside of his window. The tinted glass showed the sun in the distance, sinking lower towards the horizon. A bird flew, twisting and turning with the hot currents it found.
He ought to do the right thing. There was no way to remain objective in this manner. Not when he was strangely drawn to you, drawn to your file, and drawn to the unique challenge it presented.
You could very well end up a case study in some medical textbook or journal, name changed, but the presentation exactly the same. He didn’t relish the thought of being the one to put you there. But your case could end up helping someone else. It was the way the world worked.
He only hoped that he had enough self-restraint to walk away if he found himself compromised. If he couldn’t reign in his personal tastes and habits to help you. If he found himself looking at your lips as you spoke, your smile as you made self-deprecating jokes, or the shy way you licked your lips.
“Shit.” He took his phone out of his bag and hit up his on again, off again submissive play partner, Tasia. Perhaps it’d been too long since he took care of his own needs. Perhaps what he needed was to release the pent up tension he carried around all the time.
How long had it been? He didn’t know. But even as he set up the details with Tasia, he couldn’t help wondering if you were following his directions to the letter.
I said don't judge me! LOL. Thank you for reading, truly.
The Secret Terry Richmond Files | Part 2
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SV AU where Shen Yuan transmigrates into a dragon.
It's not so bad, at first. He's an extremely magical sort of dragon so he can easily take on a humanoid shape, and he has dominion over an entire mountain, with a magical gate that leads to his palace. Said palace has a fully stocked treasury, a library, garden, etc, with the only real downsides being that the place is kind of huge and very difficult for a neet with limited housekeeping or landscaping skills to keep up with. The original dragon had enslaved a bunch of fairy spirits to do it for him, but since Shen Yuan has moral objections to that, he'd let them all go and they'd run off before he could even think to offer to hire any of them as paid employees instead. Not that he can blame them for being in a hurry to get gone.
He does his best, and generally enjoys being a dragon lazing on his mountain, or wandering the beauty of his palace and investigating the books and scrolls kept there. He doesn't actually seem to need to eat or drink, so that's not really an issue, and nobody looks keen to bother him. But after a few months the dust starts to really pile up, and trying to figure out how to do his own laundry without modern equipment leads to several disasters, and even though he doesn't need to eat he's starting to think it would be quite nice to have a fancy sit-down dinner and enjoy it for its own sake anyway. He has an enchanted larder but his food prep skills aren't up to much.
So, Shen Yuan ventures away from his mountain. He keeps to his human disguise when he's not traveling, and at first tries to hire on some help from a nearby city. But when he explains that he lives on the mountain, he realizes the difficulty, because everyone in the area knows that only the dragon lives there. So they all think he's either a liar or a fraud, or some servant of a nefarious supernatural creature angling to trick and possibly devour them.
Shen Yuan tries approaching another town in his dragon form, to see if anyone will actually deal with him if he's being upfront and honest about the situation, but the townspeople just panic. He returns to his mountain to rethink his strategies, and in the meanwhile the alarmed locals hire a swordsman to go after him. The guy gives him a few very painful cuts before Shen Yuan mostly-accidentally sends him careening into a boulder. One broken arm later the swordsman is gently persuaded that the pay he was offered isn't worth the effort on this job, and leaves.
Discouraged, Shen Yuan decides he's gonna give this one last try. He picks the second closest city, flies up, and is like yes hello, yes I am indeed a dragon, no I'm not trying to burn down your walls, yes it would be excellent if you stopped shooting arrows at me, look they don't even get past the scales? It's kind of silly? Okay, yes, thank you very much. Good. Now, the thing is, I'm looking for some people. I want to take them back to my mountain with me, to my incredibly nice palace, and -- what was that? A princess? No no I don't want a princess, what would I even do with one? If anything I'm looking for the complete opposite of a princess!
Anyway, the locals take this to mean that the dragon is demanding a sacrifice in the form of a pretty boy of no particular pedigree, and Shen Yuan takes this to mean that he's finally made his case clear and they're going to dig up someone who is willing to overlook his being a dragon in exchange for free room and board and fair wages out of his massive treasury.
SY's a bit disheartened when the entire city could only apparently turn up one such person -- an underfed teenage boy who looks at Shen Yuan like, despite the situation, he is still expecting to be eaten at any moment. Poor thing! But at least having one servant means he can potentially get more, especially if it all goes well. The lad can tell others that working for a dragon isn't so bad! Well, provided that he doesn't give up in alarm at the state of the mountain palace.
For his part, Luo Binghe at first thinks he's definitely going to get eaten, and then that this dragon is weirdly nice about planning to eat him, and then that maybe the dragon has other (even less savory!) plans for him, until finally he sees the state of the dragon's laundry and the foot-thick layer of dust in the corners, and gets completely distracted. Mortal terror forgotten, those floors should not be that filthy, Lord Dragon respectfully that isn't how anyone should prepare rice either, but oh Binghe has never seen a kitchen so nice before in his life...!
Anyway, needless to say, it works out just fine.
#svsss#scum villain's self saving system#scum villain#bingqiu#this is luo binghe's palace now shen qingqiu just lives there#the only hiccup is that binghe is strangely bad at convincing anyone else to come work at the palace#shen qingqiu encouraged him to assist in finding other help but somehow binghe always comes up empty handed#oh well guess they'll have to continue living there just the two of them with no one else#(this eventually does change but binghe sulks for WEEKS about it)
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𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮
pairing: gojo satoru x fem!reader
summary: you have everything you could have asked for in life. a beautiful home in greenwhich, just far away from london so that you don't have to mingle with city life, but close enough to be surrounded by the ton. a library with all the books you could ask for and a friend you care for dearly. all except for the man of your dreams, who just so happens to be your best friends brother. worst of all, he only sees you as such. his sisters best friend. (bridgerton!au)
warnings: 18+ mdni, gojo doesn't know how to communicate his feelings, slight angst (with comfort), smut, eating out (fem! receiving), fingering, (happy ending)
word count: 17.3k+ (i have no idea how)
note: yes, this is inspired by penelope and colin. yes, i know that colin isn't a viscount. their story is coming out later than expected so i took matters into my own hands. tysm @jadeisthirsting for beta reading! (if you saw this the first time no you didn't, i hope tumblr doesn't glitch out again)
jjk masterlist
You had a great life, as far as it went.
You were born into a wealthy family, far more wealthy than they deserved to be. You had maids at your beck and call and did not need to worry about the future as long as you acted correctly. You had book upon books, as many as you could dream of, so long as you didn’t bore your mother too much with them. You had any sort of food you could dream of and you had the most caring friend in the world who loved you very much.
Honestly, what more could a woman ask for?
“I say we move the whole ordeal to Friday, seeing how Satoru is only arriving on Wednesday. But my mother insisted that we keep in on Thursday because the rest of London just couldn’t wait to see my dashing brother…” Lily continued her furious rant as she paced back and forth the vast expanse of your family’s drawing room, shaking her head in clear frustration.
“And you want it to be a day later…because…?” You sipped quietly on your tea, trying to keep your smile at a minimum. It was hard not to get giggly when Lily’s face got red and her eyes bugged out of her sockets. For such a pretty girl it tended to shift her features whenever she got angry or annoyed.
“Well, he’s going to be tired!” She stopped her pacing as she stared at you with her mouth a bit open as if it were the most obvious answer, “And whenever Satoru is tired he’s so difficult to deal with. He’s going to want to talk about his travels for at least three days before he’s ready to mingle with the rest of the works!”
You nodded heavily, showing her that you were completely on her side.
“Has he written to you?” She asked and then quickly shook her head, despite the fact you were going to answer with a quiet yes to her question. He had written you a few letters, all of them stashed in your vanity as you read over them, each going over his travels, sometimes sending you little knick-knacks he saw.
“Not the point. What I’m trying to say is that my mother always goes over the limit with how much she welcomes her children. And Satoru for that matter! Christ, he’s twenty-five and unmarried!”
You wanted to sink into your seat in embarrassment. You were only so much younger and had never had even an interaction with a suitor before.
Life was great, for the most part.
As much as you couldn’t complain, there was a small matter at hand that was growing increasingly more alarming the more the years went on.
For as long as you could remember, you and Lily were set on never getting married. Ever since she read that one Jane Austen book she was hellbent on independence and no men. You tagged along, seeing how that was a better excuse than admitting no man had even asked you to join him to be his partner to dance before.
Lily didn’t seem to care much for this. While she was set on her celibacy pact, she had been approached before. It doesn’t change much, but it did at least show her that somebody wants her. You were either such as a spinster or married to some ancient man your mother had to dig out from some corner of the market.
“And Satoru…” Lily rambled on, but all it did was remind you of an even worse fact.
You were terribly in love with her brother.
You have known the Gojo family for ten years, five months, twelve days, and two hours, and you have been in love with Gojo Satoru for ten years, five months, twelve days, and thirty minutes.
Their family had immigrated from Japan months before the oldest child was born, but they had only moved to Greenwich ten years, five months, and ten days ago. You met them only two days later when you accidentally wandered into their gardens, unknowing that a family had just moved in.
The first time you met that particular Gojo, you were thirteen and facing serious issues with yourself and your own family. You wanted to move to America in hopes that the boys over there would fancy you more and your mother forbade it. Satoru laughed when he saw your horrified face popping up from their blackberry bush, definitely not expecting to see anybody there.
“Hello there,” the stranger called out. You thought he was a grandfather with the way his hair was artic white, but he only seemed to be a bit older than you the closer he got.
“I’m not stealing from you I swear!” You cried out as you let the blackberries tumble out of your stained hands. You cannot be taken to prison, you simply wouldn’t survive.
“I can see that.” He crossed his arms as he tried not to laugh at the way your dress was stained a dark blue color.
He introduced himself, and Lily, and soon, you and the girl were attached at the hip.
It didn’t help that as kind and as charming as he was, he only saw you as his sister's closest friend. It also didn’t help that every other woman in high society seemed to be in love with the man and it certainly made it so much more horrific that he seemed to have his eyes on everybody else but you.
He, much like his sister, was averse to the idea of marriage, but for a completely different reason.
He seemed to despise the idea of being committed, which is most likely why he had been traveling the entirety of Europe and Asia for the past year or so. Despite his mother’s frantic worrying about setting him up with a respectable lady, he pushed them all aside and fled (in some sense) and will be making his grand appearance a couple of days from now. Everybody is chattering with excitement. You’re trying not to fill with total impending dread.
It had already taken everything you had to pretend that he didn’t exist and that he had simply disappeared, and you knew your wretched mind would fall for him just as quickly as it did the first time around when you were set to see him next week.
“...and, are you even listening?” Lily asked, her voice garbling back to life as you snapped your eyes back to hers, covering your mouth with your teacup as you insistently nodded, trying to keep your smile from faltering as she squinted her eyes to look you over and see what was wrong.
“I’m totally in tune with you Lils,” you insisted, nibbling on a cookie to help you with nausea which only seemed to make it worse.
“Hm,” she grunted, not seeming to believe you but not truly caring as she continued, “And thank the heavens you’ll be there beside me, for who knows what would become of me in such an unruly crowd of men and women just waiting for my brother to make his entrance. I’d lose my sanity.”
Yes, you thought, how lucky. If only love worked that way, of ignoring it until it faded. If only.
“I’ll be there.” You promised.
For better or for worse, you’d be there.
---
The ball was just as you had imagined it.
Extravagant, elegant, large, and incredibly crowded.
One of the perks of being an outsider in these sorts of scenes is you didn’t have to dance anymore (no matter how much it stung the first time around getting used to this fact).
Lily was off somewhere, being forced to socialize. Your other sisters were also lost in the crowd, either dancing or being swooned by a potential match.
You were yet to see the man of the hour, but then again, so was everybody else. He was either hiding away or being swallowed whole by the hoards of people eager to get a glimpse of him.
Not that you wanted to see him, of course. Just curious.
The food was, as always, a bonus. Nobody was going to judge you for scarfing anything down when you had begrudgingly sworn off marriage, and perhaps one of the good things about Lily's pact was that you didn’t care much about the public eye anymore.
“Please, at least act like we’re not starving you.” Your mother pleaded, unfortunately, stuck to your side for the night as she eyes you and your plate.
“I’m trying my best,” you reasoned, making sure you didn’t drop anything on your dress.
“The Viscount is coming tonight,” she tried to think and you snorted, earning some distasteful looks from the widows around you.
“And he’s just dying to see me, I suppose?” You rolled your eyes at the idea, to help the sting from your own words. It was better to be rationable than to be delusional.
“Well it doesn’t hurt to-”
“Try?” You cut her off with another laugh as you chew on an eclair, “Might as well. Right after the Princess introduces herself I’ll go up.” The two of you eye the girl in the diamond-encrusted gown with an equally bright tiara on her head. Your mother gave up the argument.
For the last couple of days, you have been at a mental war with yourself. On the one hand, it surely must mean something if he wrote you letters. On the other one, he wrote it to his entire family and he probably views you as such. No matter how much you want to pretend that the Gojo cares for you, it won’t be in the same way that measures how much you care for him.
“I’m going to get some more of these macaroons, I’ll be right back.” You excuse yourself as your mother pressed her lips into a thin line, wanting to push you to dance but knowing no amount of persuading was going to change your mind when it was already set on something.
Wading through the dense crowd was certainly a feat, but you did it nonetheless. From the dessert table, you could barely make out the pop of chartreuse that was Lily's gown, and you wondered how much longer until she’d be free to giggle and gossip with you.
Your eyes scanned over the little sweets carefully as you mentally weighed which one would taste good and which one would be a surprise in the kindest sense of the word. The colorful ones were often pretty but they tested either too bland or too bitter and the ones with caramel side sugar tended to be too sweet. All the good macaroons with the pistachio filling were gone, which was odd because you could only count on your fingers how many people aside from you tended to favor that one.
“Looking for something?”
A green macaron was held in front of your face, slowly forcing you to turn your head in its direction as it began to pull away from you
Him.
“Oh!”
Oh? If only you could hit yourself in the head that would be great.
“Oh?” Gojo chuckled, his brows pinching together in slight confusion at your reaction as his lips threatened to pull into a teasing smile, “I haven’t seen you in a year and that's what you’ve got to say?”
You try not to let your heart flutter at his cheeky manner as you roll your eyes, your smile growing as you take him in.
He’s gotten taller if that was even possible. His hair is still as white as it was, and it seems that no amount of sun was going to change that. He’s gotten a little bit tanner, no longer that frigid pale hue to his skin that made you worry he’d drop dead at any moment. He’s unfortunately more muscular, which just means you have to cast away the scrawny image you’ve made in your mind in hopes that he’d come back anemic.
His eyes are just as captivating as ever, blue and inviting. His jaw is sharper and yet he has no facial hair on his face. Which you prefer on most men but you’re glad he’s never given into that trend.
Most importantly, he still looks like that boy you fell in love with so many years ago, and no time away would ever change you at your core.
You try to not let your neck prickle with heat as he seems to assess you the same way you're doing to him, try not to feel self-conscious as his eyes roam over your features. Sure, a person can change in a year, but you wouldn’t bet you’ve changed that much that would warrant this amount of staring.
“So…?”
“‘Toru, hi!” You snap out of your state, watching as his face picks up and breaks into a grin as you set your plate down somewhere, seemingly now realizing that Satoru is here and in front of you, “My, you’ve grown so much!”
“Really?” He looks at his torso and his arms as if he can’t believe it.
“Well, a bit,” you curse at your awkwardness as he cocks a brow, “I’m sorry, I’m a bit out of my element tonight. I apologize for my earlier reaction.” You duck your head down for a second as he waves it off, hopefully not offended.
You’re glad this little table is tucked away in an alcove away from most of the public eye, and the only people around the two of you are older people and the people standing outside in the gardens. Either they don’t see the man or they’re being somewhat human and granting the two of you some privacy.
“Apology accepted, but not needed,” he teases, patting your shoulder affectionately as you try not to act as if that single touch made you reconsider the idea of marriage.
“How are you?” He asks after a beat, not affected by your out-of-character attitude as he tilts his head to the side.
“As good I could be,” you offer him a wink that came off as an elongated blink, “Whatever Lily filled you in on has most likely happened to me too.” He chuckles, his laughter the sound of melted honey.
Fuck, you’re never going to get over him.
“And you? How were your trips?” You egged him on, eyes tracing him, watching as some pink dusted over his cheeks.
“Boring. Couldn’t wait to come back.” He says, but you can hear the sarcasm in his voice. Mixed with the way he couldn’t contain his bits of laughter, you laughed alongside him.
“I’d believe it if not for your tan and newfound outlook on life, or so it seems from how Lily describes it.”
“She exaggerates everything,” he waves it off, and you wonder what that double-edged sword implies.
“I-”
“He’s here!” You hear a loud voice cut you off as the two of you look over your shoulder to see his mother leading the awaiting princess and her train to where the two of you are standing, “He seems to be getting warmed up with this fine lady!” She says your name as heat rushes to your cheeks in embarrassment.
It was only seconds before you were surrounded by men and women you had never seen before, all hanging off of Satoru’s words as he scrambled to answer all of their questions.
And so it begins, you say to yourself as you push away from them, going to find Lily as you wonder why you even try.
You miss the way he calls out for you, quiet enough so that nobody else hears it, but loud enough that his chest tightens in confusion at the sheer desperation of it.
---
“I despise men!”
You’re at the Gojo estate for once, and Lily has started a new tirade that has lasted for the last hour.
“What brought this on?” You press, exchanging worried glances with Satoru and her younger sister as she groans, jamming her palms into her eyes as she vehemently shakes her head.
“Does this,” she shoves her hand, more importantly, her ring finger without a ring, in front of your face, “Look like I’m keen on getting married to you?”
“No….?” You mutter, scared of what she would say next.
“Does it look like an invitation to barge into my home?”
“Not exactly,” You say, earning a sympathetic look for Satoru as she glares at him.
“Does it look like I want to get frisky in the broom cupboards?”
“Christ! Lily, your sisters here!” You shout, jumping to cover the young girl's ears. Lily waves it off and Satoru just chuckles, a twinkle in his eyes as you usher the girl out of the tea room as you slam the door shut.
“This certainly beats the beaches in Venice,” Satoru says as you near the table again, winking at you as you laugh quietly.
“I’m so glad I’m not getting married. You should be too,” she points her finger at you as you look up at her, “Men are nothing but evil, money hungry, sex driven-”
“Charming, majestic-” Satoru talks over her as she talks even louder.
“Dirty animals!” She finishes with a cry.
You and Satoru share a glance as you try to laugh. She’s not wrong, far from it. The majority of men in this place needed to be sent back to their creator, but Lily had a vein in his forehead that was protruding at an odd angle.
“You laugh now, but you’ll be thanking me fifty years from now.” She warns as you nod, acting totally compliant with her.
“You’re still with her on her no-marriage pact?” Satoru asks as he stands up, walking past Lily as he looks out from the window, seemingly admiring the gardens outside. He glances over at you as you sink into the satin cushions beneath you.
“Yes,” but your answer came out shaky and unsure.
“Of course she is,” Lily answered for you with a definite nod, “And besides, she’s the luckier one. It’s not like any man has even asked her to marry anyway.” She says jokingly, shoving a biscuit in her mouth as she plops herself down beside you, nudging your shoulder with hers as if it were the funniest thing in the world.
You wish the sofa could swallow you whole.
“Hey,” Satoru turns around, brows furrowed as he looks at his sister, but the door opens before he can finish his sentence.
“Miss Gojo,” their butler, Fred, who you’ve known since you’ve known Lily announces for her as he stands at the foot of the door, “Your mother has requested your presence in her quarters.”
Lily stands up with a groan, wiping the crumbs off of her dress as she makes sure there’s nothing around the corners of her mouth.
“I’m needed elsewhere,” she pats your arm caring for it despite having her words wanting to make you plummet yourself off of a cliff, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
You give her a weak goodbye, watching as she leaves with the door shutting behind her as you sit up a bit straighter, getting ready to leave yourself.
You stand up, careful not to make any eye contact with Satoru out of sheer embarrassment as you smooth out the wrinkles in your dress, hoping the silence would suffocate you faster than it would him.
“Lily talks too much sometimes,” he finally says, stepping away from the window as he takes a two closer to your direction, before passing, “I’d apologize on her behalf but I’m pretty sure she’s already forgotten what she’s said.” He tries to lighten the mood and bless his soul, but you can already feel your spirits for the day sour.
“It’s alright,” you promise, though he seems to disagree but you continue anyway, “I know her, she doesn’t mean it.” Still doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt, a part of you chides.
“Are you leaving?” He asked, taking another tentative step forward.
“I was planning on it,” you say with a little chuckle, hoping that your eyes watering up wasn’t too noticeable, “Is that alright with you?”
He looked at you with his bright eyes and just blinked, taking a while to reach his senses.
“Y-yes! Yes, quite alright. Let me just get my coat…” He muttered, brushing past you as you quickly tried to reject his incoming offer.
“There’s no need!” You run a bit to catch up to him and his fast pace, “My house is barely two skips away,” you lamely joke, hoping he’d give it up. You wanted to wallow in your self-pity on your walk home, not have to converse with the one man who’d inadvertently give you more to pity over.
“Not a chance,” he argued, draping the coat in question over his arm, “What sort of person would I be if I let you walk out alone?”
Any other person, you wanted to say but stopped yourself.
“I don’t mean to bother you…” You wrong your hands in a nervous state, eyes darting everywhere but his.
You were trying to work on your silly crush this past week, which had unfortunately ramped up ever since he came back. In response, you worked out that the best solution to getting over it was to act like he didn’t exist and ignore him whenever possible. Clearly, it was working out completely in your favor.
“Not a bother at all.” He insisted, linking his other arms with yours as you jumped a bit in surprise. He was forward, if anything.
“Fred,” he calls out, getting the butler's attention as you try to hide yourself away, “Tell my mother I’ll be back in a bit.” The man just nods, opening up the front doors as Satoru leads the two of you out.
The sun was out and working away, which didn’t help with the heat already prickling away through your skin. The Gojo estate was large, but hidden away, and for that you were glad. You could only imagine the gossip that would arise if certain ladies in society were to see you (helplessly) draped over the bachelor's arm.
“Are you enjoying being back here?” You asked, trying to exert your confidence when you were feeling anything but.
It’s not like you were unsure of yourself at most times, it’s just that when you’re around the one man you’ve been in love with since childhood and he feels nothing of the sort, you can’t help but be more conscious over everything.
Satoru looked at you, shrugging as he pursed his lips, thinking of an answer.
“I missed it,” he says, “But I mainly came back for my family and my friends and well…” He trailed off, chewing on his lip as he waved off his thoughts as if it didn’t matter, “Nonetheless, now that I’ve been around them, I remember why I wanted to leave.”
And sometimes, despite him not wanting to, made you feel as if you were the most important person he’s had the pleasure of talking to, when in reality that’s just in his nature.
“Is Lily pestering you too much?” You tease, a little smile on your face that wrinkles the edges of your eyes. He simply stared at you again, his eyes bright.
“That,” he playfully tugged on your arm, “And the fact that my mother has bombarded me with the idea of marriage. And Luke is having troubles with his fiancé and Annie doesn’t want to learn to read…it’s all just very chaotic.” He finished with a tired laugh, as if that’s all he could muster up.
“Seems like a normal day in your house, if I’m being honest.” You lament, kicking a pebble with the point of your shoe.
“I guess so,” he heaves a sigh that comes out dramatically, “Honestly, I don’t know how you’ve put up with it all these years.”
You scoff, digging your elbow into his side a bit to show that you were offended by his statement.
“Your family is perhaps the closest thing I have to a second family!”
“And who says family can’t get on your last nerve?” He argued, and that shut you up. He was, indubitably, correct.
“Yes, well,” you stumble to find some reasoning and he laughs seeing you falter, knowing that he got you cornered, “‘Toru, you are simply a horrible influence to be around.” Is all you can come up with, and despite the severity of your words it only seems to spur him on even more.
“And yet you can’t seem to get enough of me, can you?”
You almost stopped in your tracks, your heart seizing in your chest as you try not to fumble up your well-made facade of indifference.
All you could remember upon his statement were the words he spoke so long ago, not knowing you’d heard them.
“Charles, you don’t get it, I don’t want a wife!” Satoru exclaimed as he snapped at his friend. It was a gala held at the queen's palace and you had strayed too far away from Lily and found yourself hiding behind a wall as you eavesdropped on the conversation.
“Not even the Princess?” Another man pushed as you heard Satoru let out a heavy sigh. You peeled around to see him pinching the bridge of his nose.
“I don’t want to be tied down. You saw what happened to my parents.” He argued. A part of you sympathized with him.
“Well,” you could make out this voice as his younger brother, two years older than you he went to thinking, “What about that friend of Lily’s? She seems nice enough.”
The hair on your arm pricked upwards. Surely they couldn’t be talking about you.
“Who?” Satoru asks and his brother says your name in a hushed whisper, as if you held more weight in your title than the Princess did.
“Her? No, absolutely not,” he said with such disgust that his friends thought he was joking, “You’re out of your mind if you’d think I’d want to court her.”
Your heart, full of love and hope and dreams cracked, crumbled in your chest. And you left, running away because that’s all you knew how to do and sobbed your eyes out to Lily, stating that you heard somebody talking bad about you, refusing to admit that it was her own brother that was causing you to break in front of her.
A part of you felt pathetic for still caring for him after that night, but there’s not much fight in you when it comes to the people you loved. You pulled away, sure, and stopped your lame excuses of flirting, but you never stopped. He never found out that you heard, so he continued as your friend and you continued as the shameless woman.
“Right,” you swallow thickly, glad that your estate is now growing closer and closer, knowing that you feel sick and can’t handle it anymore, “Thank you so much for your help, but I’m sure I can make the treacherous journey on my own now.”
You wring your hand away from his arm, you smile wobbling as you tip your head in his direction, watching him try to make sense of your quick change in nature.
“Let me take you up to your door,” he started but you raised your hand to silence him, shaking your head.
“That would be too much to ask for. I will leave you here…um, Satoru,” you say politely, not noting the way his jaw clenched at your sudden formality when addressing him, “I’ll see you tomorrow, hopefully.”
And you left quickly before he could say anything else. You must stay focused on the reality of your situation;
Your best friend's brother just simply wasn’t in love with you.
---
“Miss,”
You perked up from your chair in your quaint little library, setting your book down as you watched one of the maids, Ella, politely calls from the door.
“There’s a gentleman outside calling for you.”
Your brows furrowed as you found a marker so that you don’t lose your place and purse your lips together in questioning.
“Do you know who…?” Your head cocked to the side as you stood up, walking near her as you wondered if it were that delivery boy who said he’d come with the new copies of the Brontë books you’d been eyeing for the past month.
“It’s the Viscount Gojo, miss.” She said simply.
Your face dropped, and you watched as confusion spread across hers.
“Him? Here? Did he say what was wrong?” You began to rustle around, trying to find something to throw on top of your slip.
Did something happen to Lily? Did she run away? Was their mother in trouble? You could recall her telling you that her head was aching, could something serious have happened because of that? Christ, you should have told somebody about it rather than comfort her and make her tea. Was he leaving again? Perhaps-
“He said he wanted to see you miss, that’s all he told me.” She seemed apprehensive, judging your face to see if you were maybe feeling ill due to your reaction.
“Um, alright, just,” you hurried around, trying your fastest to get to your room, “Tell him I’ll be down in a few minutes! Don’t tell him I’m preparing myself, just say that I was discussing matters with somebody!” You call out as you sprint across the halls, not hearing any confirmation as you lock yourself in your room, ransacking your closet to find something not too flashy but not too boring.
It took a good four minutes just to find a suitable dress and another five to make your face and hair look presentable enough as you scampered down the stairs only to find said Viscount waiting in the foyer.
His face turned to yours as he heard your heels clicking on the marble, growing into a bright smile as he dipped his head down to greet you.
“Hello,” he said your name with that smooth voice of his as he took his jacket off and kept it on his arm, “I’m sorry for turning up on such short notice.”
“It’s no problem,” you try to catch your breath for the first time in the last ten minutes as your chest heaves slightly up and down, “No problem at all. To what do I owe the pleasure?”
He takes a second to respond, eyes scanning your features, your clothing, your chest as it tries to catch a solid breath, and you feel yourself look down to make sure there aren't any noticeable wrinkles in the fabric.
“I, I just wanted to drop in. See how you were doing.”
You tried not to look even more startled, but your brows creased once again as you gnawed on the inside of your cheek.
“I’m quite alright…thank you…?” You couldn’t look that out of the ordinary, right?
“Good, that’s good,” he watched as you finished your descent down the stairs, slowly coming towards him as you waited for him to finish, “I’m sorry if I interrupted your conversation with…?” Ella did give him a name you wanted to guess.
“Lord Cornwallis.” You finished for him, not knowing why that was the first name that came to your mind. It was true that he had been here yesterday, but you didn’t talk much to him in his brief visit.
“Lord Cornwallis?” Satoru repeated back in shock, his brows shooting upwards as he did nothing to hide his outburst. His face quickly turned into one of disgust, which accurately represented the emotions you felt yesterday when you eavesdropped on the conversation he had with your mother behind closed doors.
“Yes, you just missed him. He went out through the back door,” why were you making this web of lies even bigger? You have no self-control, do you?
“What was Cornwallis doing here?”
You but your tongue, having to come up with a lie or tell the truth as to why he had visited yesterday. Either way, both options turned out with horrible results.
“He asked for my hand.” The truth it was, then.
His brows seemed to disappear into his hairline as his jaw slacked, mouth wide open. Damn your mind, you should have just lied.
Lily was wrong in one thing, perhaps. You have gotten a few marriage offers in the last three years, but by all men who were older than your grandfather. You hadn’t even told Lily about them and now you were telling her brother.
“I…” Satoru couldn’t even find the right words to say. You wanted to bury yourself in a hole.
“…Cornwallis? Isn’t he-”
“Pushing ninety-nine? Yes.” Nobody was sure of his age, and ninety-nine was perhaps even being too generous. Everybody knew that Cornwallis was simply ancient.
“Did I save you from the conversation at least? I must say, if there was any man I would wish ill upon, it’s certainly him. He’s a lying old cheat.” He tried to joke again but you swallowed thickly. Perhaps if he came at the same time yesterday he might have. But he didn’t and you had to sit through an hour of him pleading with your mother as the two of you just stared in abject horror and surprise.
“Yes well, thank you…for doing that.” You lied, cleaning your teeth together as you tried to smile, not wanting to hurt his feelings as you came up closer to him, desperately hoping to change the topic of the conversation.
“Is everything alright with Lily?” You asked his eyes that were focused on the floor jumping to yours as your lips parted, worry still clear on your face.
“Yes, of course, I just wanted to ask a favor of you. But, judging from your encounter with men today I would understand if this is pushing it,” he cut right to the crux of the matter. He seemed nervous, which was an odd emotion to see on a man otherwise very confident and sure in himself. It unsettled you.
You tilted your head, waiting for him to find his words and continue. You could make out the slight blush on his face, the pink hue that spread across his cheeks, and the tip of his nose. He was, by all means, the cutest person you’ve ever seen.
“My mother's holding another ball, two weeks from now, you see,” his lip caught between his teeth, “And she’s been bugging me about having a date for the night. She wants to appease the rest of the gentry, I suppose. Would you, by any chance, like to be that?”
You stopped computing his words.
“...It’s honestly just to get her off my back. And you wouldn’t have to stay with me the entire evening, you could do whatever you’d like after we get some of the necessities over with. Lily was the first who suggested the idea, she said you wouldn’t be doing much other than gossip with her. Of course, if you don’t want to I certainly won’t force the idea, but it’s merely a suggestion.” His blue eyes, ever so convincing and round and caring bore into yours, and despite your better judgment you find yourself nodding.
“I wouldn’t mind it,” you say a bit breathlessly, completely forgetting about Cornwallis and the way you were debating it and the fact that this means nothing at all, and would most likely cause you more harm than good.
His nervousness washed away into a big smile, and you cursed yourself at the little flicker of hope you felt deep in your soul as he scrambled to find the right words to say to thank you. The flood of gratitude and appreciation stabbed deeply into your heart as he kept repeating friend, but you were too hopeful for love.
Your mother always said that loving would always be your greatest weakness.
---
You should have said no.
The amount of eyes that were focused on you was enough to make you nauseous, and you couldn’t get sick for you hadn’t had anything to eat today with how hurried everything was.
Your arm was draped around Satoru’s, and he held tightly onto your hand. He was the image of luxury and charisma right now, and if you were in the crowd looking as he made his way through the crowd you almost would have wanted to bow.
Time came by a lot faster when you were totally freaking out over it, and before you knew it, you were put in a dress you hadn’t even picked and corseted to the heavens. Your hair was done with extra detail, and they even went as far as putting some Swarovski’s into it so that when the candlelight hit it, you’d sparkle twice as much.
Satoru, ever the gentleman, had picked you up from your estate as he walked you to their home amidst all the chaos of getting ready for another ball. In all honesty, you have no idea how their mother manages to keep her sanity through all of this.
You were still a bit giddy from your earlier interaction with Satoru, although it didn’t do much to calm your nerves now.
“I’m sorry for taking so long!” You had said as you rushed down your stairs, careful not to trip over your train as you put your earrings in. Ella said that he was waiting for you downstairs, you just underestimated how early he’d be.
“Don’t apologize…” He had turned around from admiring a painting, his eyes widening a bit when he saw you. He quickly shut his mouth, but you had already gauged his reaction. You tried not to let it get the best of you, but you could have sworn he blushed more often than usual when you interlinked your arm with his.
“You’re cutting off my blood circulation.” He whispers in your ear as you try to smile, your eyes nervous as they dart around the room. How could it be even bigger than that last ball? Did they suddenly meet thirty new people?
“Maybe you could cut mine off.” You snap back through your teeth, your hand gripping his wrist as tightly as you could.
“How are we supposed to dance if one of us is dead?” He grumbles back, putting on a little grin as he makes eye contact with his mother, and then goes back to whispering, “It’s just one song and you’re done. You’ve done this before.”
You wanted to shove him to the ground.
“No, I haven’t!” You say loud enough that he hears but try to mask it so that nobody else does, “I told you yesterday this is my first time dancing with somebody!” As embarrassing as it was to admit, right now you couldn’t be bothered to care as he led you to the middle of the room, standing in first position as you two waited for the orchestra to begin.
“Are you saying I’m your first?” He teased, his tongue poking out from between his lips as he watched you grow mortified, rubbing the back of your hand in a comforting way as his means to apologize.
You wanted to go ahead and argue but the cello and violins started and you were whisked away by his calculated movements, and the only thing you could do was follow in his lead.
The two of you practiced a bit in the days leading up to this, but it was a lot different when your only crowd was Lily and her constant whining about how boring it was.
Now, with everybody staring at you and him, it was far more daunting.
“Don’t look at the ground, look at me,” he whispered in your ear, smiling when your eyes traveled to him. He tried not to crack when he saw the pure loathing and hatred in them, but at least you were looking up and not at his shoes.
“‘Toru I’m never doing a favor for you again, you owe me.” You groan, letting him twirl you around in a circle as some of the ladies give a polite clap.
“Name your price.” He egged you on, bringing you back flush against his chest as his hand found purchase on your waist.
“Not money,” you grumble, eyes twitching as your heart beats rapidly in your chest, you’ve always wanted to dance with him, sure, but not under these circumstances.
“Books?” You consider it but shake your head. You deserve something bigger for what you’re putting yourself through. Shocking enough, after being a wallflower for so many years, you weren’t handling being in the spotlight too well.
“I’ll think about it. But it has to be big.” You warn and he lifts up his pinky on your waist to show you his unbridled loyalty to keeping true to your words.
“Where are you going after this is done?” He spins the two of you around, and you watch as more couples rush around the two of you. It’s less stressful when others are dancing, but you still feel tense.
“I’m probably going to stay with Lily outside.” He seems to deflate a little, though he still stands tall, his suit never crinkling through his movements.
“No more dancing?” He teased but you vehemently disagree with the idea.
“Never again.” It’s not as though you hate it, in fact, a younger you would have been jumping with glee to be able to dance with Satoru. But after years of growing accustomed to watching rather than participating, you can’t grow out of that habit.
You felt a tap on your shoulder and turned around to see the Princess herself as she looked at you with pleading eyes.
“Would you mind if…?” She motioned to Satoru and then to you. You barely noticed the number coming to an end, and the rupture of applause was the last thing you heard before you scrambled away from him.
You didn’t even notice how he had held onto your hand tighter, not wanting to let you go.
“O-of course, your majesty.” You winced at your select choice of words and how you said her title almost as if you questioned it.
“Thank you.” She mumbled and for somebody of such high regard, you wouldn’t think of her to need to plead with somebody, especially you, to be able to have a dance with Satoru.
Your job for the night was done, successfully might be too loose of a term, but finished nonetheless. You chose not to look back at Satoru, knowing that the wide grin he’d save for the girls he was interested in would only twist that knife deeper into your heart.
You were a sadist in the most pathetic way possible.
You waved goodbye to Satoru as another number started again, and tried your best to get away from all the twirling bodies as you headed out to find Lily.
It didn’t take long until you found her trying to weasel out some information from her brother, tapping him repeatedly on the shoulder as he tried to fight her off.
“…what did you hear, what do you know?” She pressed as he groaned, obviously trying to have a private conversation with the lady next to him.
“Nothing Lily!” He locked eyes with you as he almost begged silently for you to take her.
“Lily, I’m here. We can go now.” You looped elbows with her as you dragged her away, giving her brother a quick smile that said you accepted his gratefulness.
As you walked through the stone path in the garden, she muttered dejectedly about how she was just about to get some good information out of him.
“How was dancing with Satoru?” She finally asked after a while. The two of you weren’t alone, but far less crowded than it would if you had been inside.
“Stressful, but the song was short so I wasn’t needed for too long.” You tell her honestly. If there’s one thing you can’t do with Lily it’s lie, for she’ll sniff out of you the moment you come up with it.
“You look flustered.” She noted, looking over your face and the sweat that dotted over your cheekbones.
“You dance in a sweltering room like that with the entire ton looking at you and try not to get flustered.” You reasoned and she seemed to buy it. It wasn’t a total lie, but a stretch of the truth.
“You know,” Lily had terrible balance and often collided with you as she walked, “I was talking to my mother and despite her insistent warnings, I think we should make it official.”
“Make what official?” The lights from the candles above you illuminated her face and she had that look of mischief that either excited or frightened you.
“That we plan to be unwed.” She grinned cheek to cheek and all you could feel was that same wave of nausea that had been prickling at you since the start of the night. This was the last thing you needed to hear about right now.
“They’re going to think we’re either lunatics or lovers.” You say with a sullen and heavy sigh, looking up at the sky in some sort of desperate manner as you wait for some sort of angel to save you from this conversation.
“And what’s the issue with that? Let them think. You have always said you’ve wanted this, so let’s let the world know.”
Something you wish Lily was was to be more aware. As loving, thoughtful and caring as she was, she never seemed to pick up on the little things. For one, you doubted she noticed just how quiet you got whenever she brought up this conversation. You’d give her the benefit of the doubt and say that you rarely talked much when it came to marriage, but that was just so that you could save yourself from the ongoing embarrassment of never having experienced love or some sort of feeling that somebody would feel towards you to genuinely want to be your husband.
Not only that, but far from Lily's point of help, is the fact that ever since Satoru has been back, your childish feelings have come flooding right in with him. No matter how many tea sessions you have with Lily and have him sitting in the background, either reading the morning's paper or jotting things down in his journal, it always spins to him sitting right beside you as you talk about anything under the sun.
And while you know your hopes of marrying him are just too far-fetched, you’ve always been a hopeless romantic. Something Lily just hasn’t ever been able to pick up on when around you. Which is shocking, seeing how the only novels you’ve read for the majority of your life was centered around such a topic.
“Listen, Lily, I’ve been thinking,” you pause for a second in your place, staring at the pebbles arranged in the formation of a star as you swallow your bile, “That maybe…”
You were nervously wringing your hands together, a sign that Lily knew all too well. She could read you like any of her books, and she let out a gasp, covering her mouth with a shaky hand as she pointed an accusatory finger at you.
“No,” she dug the finger into your chest, “You’re thinking of breaking up the pact?” It comes out breathless. Her soft curls of white that had been done up beautifully were slowly falling down as she shook her head in pure shock, not giving you a chance to talk.
“I mean this is just brilliant. Brilliant! What am I supposed to do now, go out into the world alone as a spinster?”
You stuttered, your fingers interlaced with one another as you tried to calm her down from causing a scene. Trying to shush her came to no avail as you wring your hands away from her, acting as if your touch was burning.
If the Gojo’s were anything, it’s overly dramatic in places where dramatics were certainly not needed.
“Please be rational,” she urged you as she clutched onto your wrists, suddenly pleading to you with her wide eyes, “The season is almost over and you haven’t had any offers. Sooner than later we’re going to be thirty, then forty, then fifty, and husbandless. We should say it now so that it doesn’t come off as a pathetic cry to hold onto what little decency we have in the future!”
Christ, you hated that she was being somewhat logical. But her rationality stung, the way melted wax does when it burns the skin. She didn’t know just how much she was hurting you, and you doubted she ever would.
“Look, I know I’m probably not going to be offered a chance at marriage, but it wouldn’t hurt to at least try.” You try to reason with her as she sniffs, her eyes squinted as she looks at you in anger.
“This was our pact and you’re going against it! What’s next?”
You were going to argue that this pact was only made on the basis of her having too much champagne to drink and you being sullen over her brother, but you were cut off from getting the chance to do so.
“What’s your issue?”
You turned around at the familiar voice as you saw Satoru nearing you, Lily continuing her rant as she seemed to completely miss that her brother was coming towards the two of you.
“What?” You felt overwhelmed with having two Gojo’s corner you, both rather angry from the looks of it.
“I know that this isn’t your scene but you said you’d be my date. You don’t have to dance with me, but at least be there.” He looks like he’s seething, and you’ve never seen this look on him before. It’s jarring, to say the least.
You feel like your head is about to explode.
“I just-”
“....and my mother was only more confident in the idea if you were doing it!” Lily exclaimed, causing you to look back at her as she urged you to think about it.
“...my mother has given me at least twenty women to mull over in the last twenty minutes. It would have been none if you just acted as my date for the night!” Satoru’s voice rose, and you felt like your heart was going to actually stop. Your head was spinning, your vision was blurry, and you couldn’t hear anything besides a loud ringing in your ears.
“I’m sorry but-” The two of them talked over you, so stuck in their own worlds that they didn’t notice the tears pricking at your eyes or the way you seemed to be short of breath. It would probably be one of their greatest flaws, never noticing something until it was far too late.
“Stop!” You cried out, earning some looks from the people around you as you rubbed at your forehead, already feeling it ache under your touch, “Please! Listen, just for a bloody second!”
You took a deep breath and began.
“I’m a fucking romantic Lily, and nothing’s ever going to change that! I always have been! And I want to get married, I just agreed to your pact because I know I’m probably never going to get that chance! And god, how can your only takeaway from reading Persuasion be to abstain from marriage?” Your nose crinkles in anger as you turn around to point your finger at her brother's chest, watching as he takes your reaction in obvious surprise.
“You!” You cry out and he almost backs away, “I was trying to give you some courtesy by leaving! God forbid you gave anybody the idea that you were courting me!” You quickly wipe at your eyes but it does fuck all of hiding how you truly felt as your lips wobbled.
“Why would…?” He's breathless, no longer angry, just utterly confused and a wee bit frightened.
“We both know you’re too good for that. How’d you phrase it, you’d be out of your mind if you did such a thing?” You throw his own words back at him, and you watch in some sort of mixture of triumph and heartbreak as realization washes over his features.
He finally remembers.
“I…” he swallowed thickly, running a hand through his hair as it fell out of his face, rubbing at his jaw as you looked at you from beneath his lashes, “I didn’t…” but he can’t finish his sentences and instead stops, sharing an unreadable look with his sister as they then look at you.
“I’m going home.” You say after a beat of silence, breathing deeply through your nose as you look away from the two of them.
“Let me-” Satoru started but you raised a hand to stop him.
“I think I’d be better off alone.” You snap, nostrils flaring as you shake your head, pinching the bridge of your nose as you try to stop the already impending migraine that is about to come.
For once in your life, you didn’t care about the eyes boring into your back or the way that whispers flew around you and twisted around your throat like a vine. You were glad that nobody else other than the servants was home as you ran up into your room, locking everybody else out as you sobbed into your pillows.
---
The days following your (well-deserved) outburst were more than rough.
To your knowledge, Lily has visited a total of ten times in the past five days, sometimes twice in the same one, while her brother has visited a grand total of zero. You didn’t expect much from him, but this really cemented your quickly growing disdain.
Your mother informed you constantly that she was trying to put out the fires from that night but you couldn’t bring it to feel too bad, after all, you were glad that you didn’t say anything more drastic.
“This is just so unlike you!” She cried, shaking in disappointment as you munched on some sweets you nicked from the kitchen.
“I know,” you chuckled, “I’m so proud of myself.”
She just throws her hands in the air as a sign of utterly giving up and storms out of the room, most likely to meet with somebody else to “clean up the mess.”
She was right for some part, you can’t remember the last time you actually told somebody how you were feeling. It’s not healthy on your end, but growing up with three older sisters who always got it their way meant that you had some lack of backbone.
Lily and Satoru, as much as you cared about them, didn’t live like that. Their mother loved them all equally and she made sure that all of their voices were heard. She was always making sure that their priorities were met and she never made them feel inferior.
Which somehow, didn’t pass on to you.
Loving the way you do got tiring when you got nothing back, and giving everybody your all when nobody seemed to notice it felt as though you were alone in a world full of people who cared for each other. You’ve read the books and heard the stories, but you eventually realized that it simply just wasn’t in your cards to be dealt the same thing.
They cared, you know they did. But sometimes, it felt like they expected your care in order for them to show it to you.
“Miss?” you heard a faint voice and a knock at your door. You sat up from your slump as Ella slowly came inside, shutting the door soundly behind her.
“Did my mother ask you to make sure I haven’t flung myself off the balcony?” You dust away any crumbs from your pull over as you stare out the window.
“I’m making sure you didn’t.”
Your head snapped over at the familiar voice only to see Lily standing at the foot of your bed, looking out of place with her bright purple dress. She looked like she was teetering back and forth between staying out and sprinting away, and you admired her courage after how many times you’ve turned down her offer.
You glared at Ella but she was no longer there, leaving you and Lily alone.
“You’re just in time then.” You say blandly, standing up from your bed as you make the covers and are careful not to come too close to her. She seemed to notice.
“We can’t go about this forever,” she stated, rounding the corner of your bed as she took three steps forward while you took one back, not wanting to be cornered again the way you were that night, “This silent treatment is killing me.”
“Then die,” you don’t mean it and she knows it, but her face wobbles for a second and you watch in horror as tears spring to Lily's eyes.
The last time Lily cried the two of you were fifteen and her brothers had effectively ruined the singular dress she had actually been looking forward to wearing by staining it with ink. You spent at least an hour calling her down and trying to rationalize with her until you finally gave up and offered to cut holes in all of their suits.
You’re not sure you could do that now.
“I’m sorry!” She sprung herself forward at you with full throttle as she hugged you tightly, “You’re right! There’s nothing wrong with being a romantic!” You don’t know what to do as you stand there in shock so you awkwardly pat her back, her long white hair never loose so you’ve never really seen it to its full extent.
“My brother and I have been at war with each other trying to put the blame on somebody else but I’m sorry! You of all people deserve to find love,” she looks up and her eyes just look like oceans and it’s unfair how pretty she looks when she cries because you just look like a mess, “Please, please forgive me.”
You look as she refuses to pull away from you, clutching desperately onto the thin fabric of your nightgown that your mother reprimanded you for not getting out of, and slowly feel your hands circle around her back as you pull her into a hug.
“Honestly,” you shake your head as she looks up at you, cheeks rosy with streaks of tears and her lip wobbles violently, “I’m probably going to be on that pact ten years from now. But I just-”
“Want to try!” She finished your sentence for you, something the two of you always prided in being able to do, “and that’s respectable too!”
You try not to smile but the corners of your lips tug upwards as you nod, Lily waiting with bated breath as she scanned your reaction.
“Don’t ever treat me like that again, you hear me?”
She vehemently nods, pulling away as she wipes at her eyes, holding out her oinks finger as she waits for you to latch on. Sure, it was a childish way of making a promise, but Lily was never the serious sort of person. If anything, this is the most you’ve ever seen her apologize about something.
“I promise with the depths of my soul. If I do, brand me with an iron.” Your eyes widen as you go to disagree but she won’t take it.
“I swear.” She repeats gravely.
You look at her pinky for another second before you bring yours up, not believing that this is still how the two of you go about making amends.
“Alright then,” you heave a sigh, “I forgive you.”
Her face breaks into a wide and toothy smile as she pulls you in for a tighter hug, nearly knocking the air out of your lungs as she pulls back away.
“You’ll never regret this, I swear,” she looked radiant, but quickly stopped as she looked down at the ground, trying to gather her thoughts on how to break the news to you, “Now, be prepared for another one.”
You blink slowly, brows furrowed in confusion as you lean on your bedpost, arms crossing as your lips purse.
“What?”
She almost looks ashamed again, looking at the clock on your wall.
“My mother’s invited you over for dinner. Get ready to see the other Gojo.”
---
Your mother, as difficult as she was to deal with at most times, somehow understood the concept of showing off through a good wardrobe.
You wouldn’t put any bets on the fact that if your outfits were significantly better you might have had at least one man approach you in all these years, but it certainly could have been a possibility.
The cut was lower than all your normal dress, and with the help of your corset, pushed the sisters up a considerable amount.
The color was the most flattering you’ve ever seen, and through the utilization of crystals and diamonds encrusted in the fabric itself, it shined perfectly when the light hit it.
For the first time, you were glad your mother picked out your outfit.
Unfortunately, the outfit gave you only so much confidence. When you walked into the Gojo estate, thankfully with Lily on your side, all the memories from that night came flooding back and your stomach flipped upside down.
You were glad that Lily was seated next to you at the dinner table as well, but it didn’t help that Satoru was seated in front of you, glaring daggers into your face as you tried to avoid looking at him.
“Now, you didn’t tell me about your plans for the next year, with the season already coming to an end.” Their mother, bless her heart, asked as she loaded some peas into her fork, looking at you with her kind eyes as you struggled to think of a good enough answer.
“I’m planning on taking a marriage offer up, actually,” you say, trying not to look at Lily for you knew she was already giggling.
In the past five hours, you filled her in on everything, and she decided the best way to get Satoru to say something was if you went with the idea.
“Oh?” You watched as she perked up in interest, as did the rest of the Gojo family. An offer?
“Yes,” you nodded, “Lord Cornwallis, actually, if you’ve heard of him?”
Lily was gleaming as she saw her brother clench his jaw as he stared at the side of your face that was still looking at their mother.
“L-lord Cornwallis?” You felt bad for lying to her, but you could just come back later and say you’ve changed your mind, “He must be at least-”
“Ninety-nine?” You answered for her as her cheek warmed, “Some say he’s just in his prime, yes.”
She drank some of her wine.
“Isn’t that desperate?” Satoru finally said and you heard a loud clatter from the end of the table as their mother angrily sat her cup down, glaring at her son.
“Satoru!” She exclaimed, the rest of the girls and boys watching in tense silence as they waited for your reply.
“It’s alright,” you shrugged, fiddling with the bracelet on your wrist, “And yes, it could come off as desperate. However, I would rather go to a man who finds no problem in courting me rather than somebody who’d tell the whole world just how much it would disgust him to be seen with me.”
You could swear you heard a tooth crack.
“I’m sorry, am I missing something-” One of the brothers piped up but Satoru acted as if he hadn’t heard him.
“Well if that man were drunk out of his wits-”
“Then he let his sober thoughts reign free.” You finish for him, nostrils flaring as Satoru twisted the ring on his forefinger back and forth.
“Again, Miss Gojo, I’m simply thinking over his offer.” You finish, seeing how she could barely take her eyes off of her son as she blinked towards you, giving a shaky smile as she nodded.
“Of course, there’s no…no problem in that.” She swallowed uncomfortably, as did everybody else. You peeked over at Lily to find her just as you suspected, beaming with silent joy.
“If you wouldn’t mind, I think my dress has come a bit undone. I’m going to call for somebody to fix it.” You say, excusing yourself as you try to go ahead with the plan you had set in the first place.
“Make him mad, really mad. Say something about Cornwallis, he despises him,” Lily muttered, sitting cross-legged on your bed as she urged you to listen to her directions, “Then excuse yourself. Say you’ve got to use the privy or something, doesn’t matter.”
You nodded, listening intently as she laid it on thick for what she had been picking up on for the past couple of days.
“Go upstairs and find his room, you know where it is. Be quick with it too, but there’s this box on his desk that’s full of letters. I swear on my Austen collection that there is a letter with your name on it.”
You felt your heart tumble.
“Are you sure?” You asked, glancing at the clock to make sure you wouldn’t be late to dinner.
“Positive. And I’d get it if I could, but he’s so secretive with his room that this is probably the one time it’s going to be unlocked. He’d never suspect anybody going snooping at this hour.”
You grinned, knowing that if you finally got that little something to use against him, he’d have no choice but to grovel at your feet for the rest of his life.
You quickly scampered up the stairs, telling one of their mates that you’d be able to fix your dress on your own and that you’d be stashed away in Lily's room for the time being, and mentally times yourself as you quickly paced through the halls, looking for the familiar dark oak that would be Satoru’s room.
Just when you were about to get lost in their maze of a house, you stopped triumphantly behind the last door at the end of the hall, staring deeply at it as you weighed your options.
You quickly caved, slowly reaching out to the doorknob to see if it was locked.
It swung open, and you let out a sigh of relief and looked around a final time to make sure that nobody had followed you before you fully let yourself inside.
It was dark, and you left the door slightly open so that the light from the halls could sleep in a bit, and you went to work on locating the box on his desk that Lily had described to you.
You squint your eyes, wincing as you bumped into furniture as you made your way to the corner of the large room, blindly reaching and grabbing for anything on the mahogany desk that would resemble a box.
You let out a sound of triumph as you found a square-shaped glass-feeling thing filled to the brim with papers, holding it upwards to the sliver of light as you quickly ran through the letters with your fingers and you tried to find one with your name on it.
They seemed like they were all unsent, with many of them labeled to his mother or siblings, and a few to his friends, but you didn’t find any of them labeled to you, and you quickly felt your heart and hopes sink. This was taking far too long.
Just as you were about to give up, you passed a smaller shaped letter with cursive that looked familiar, in the sense that you had seen it addressed before, and pulled it out only to see your name staring back at you.
A part of you almost wanted to sink into the chair behind the desk, your heart beating rapidly in the small vastness of your ribcage as you held it back up to the light, seeing a note tucked neatly away through the transparency of the envelope.
Your nimble fingers went to rip the seal of wax off, but stopped as the door swung open.
“What the hell are you doing?” Satoru stood at the doorway, blocking the rest of the light as his shadow cast over you.
You dropped the letter, quickly hiding it behind your back as he stepped in, getting closer to you as you abruptly stood up, trying to come up with a feasible lie as you rounded away from his desk, trying to get away from him and his massive build.
“Oh?” You looked around as if suddenly realizing this wasn’t the place you were supposed to be, “Is this not Lily’s room? Silly me, I couldn’t make it out in the dark. I’ll be leaving now if you’ll excuse me…” You turned around, brushing past him but stopping when you felt his long fingers circle your wrist, turning you around as his eyes squinted.
“Bullshit,” you flinched, never having heard him curse before as his hands felt around yours, finding the letter you were doing a terrible job of hiding, “You know this house better than your own. Why the hell are you in my room?”
You didn’t say anything as he brought your hand out from behind your back, opening up your closed fist with much ease to reveal the crumpled-up envelope. Your chest heaved up and down, waiting with bated breath as he stared silently at the letter. You balled your fists back up again, stepping away from him as he followed you quickly in your footsteps.
“Give that to me y/n,” his voice was low and commanding, unlike anything you’ve ever heard before, and if you weren't in your rebellious mood (and somewhat in your independent, not totally in-love-with-him mood) you would have caved, but you shook your head, looking behind you as to make sure you didn’t back into his bed frame.
“It’s got my name on it.” You argued, knowing it was a terrible excuse, and you watched him chuckle darkly, knowing that you had no good reason for being in his room and sifting through his letters.
“And yet it was in my room, in my letterbox, on my desk.” He snapped, eyes a deep blue and different from the usual lightness they carried. He wasn’t joking and he wasn’t lying, he needed that letter back.
Which just made you want it even more.
You didn’t know what to do, so the only logical thing in your sporadic mind was to shove it down your dress, hiding it in your chest as Satoru watched your movements like a hawk, not saying anything as you defiantly showed him your now empty hands.
“Get it now Satoru,” you challenged him, not realizing you had backed up into the wall until your head lightly bounced off from it, wincing at the sting as you looked back behind you.
He didn’t say anything, and it seemed like his mind was running as quickly as it could as he tried to deal with whatever it was you were doing. Instead, he just three more languid steps forward, nearly face to face with you as he stared down at you, eyes darting from yours to your lips and chest.
Under any other circumstances, you would have felt like shedding your clothes off from how heated you felt under his gaze. Here, your only resort was to keep them on, to see what was so important about that letter.
“I came to find you to apologize,” his voice is low and calm, his cool breath hitting your cheek as you struggle to keep your composure, “To be civil. To tell you that I didn’t mean anything I said that night.”
Despite your mixed emotions, you felt your brows furrow at his select choice of words.
“Are you here to tell me now that you actually meant every word?” You couldn’t stop the words as they tumbled out of your mouth, knowing that the answer would probably send you into a state you could never get out of as the person you’ve loved for the majority of your life confirms your biggest fears.
But shockingly, he just shakes his head, his lips pink and plush and you’ve never found yourself focusing on them more than you are now.
If only you knew that he felt the same as he looked at you.
“No,” he stepped closer, if possible, but still had room to shove him away. But you didn’t, not now, you couldn’t, didn’t want to as his nose nudged yours a bit, your lashes fluttering against your cheek as your lips parted, waiting for him to do something,
“I’ll show you that I didn’t mean them.”
You couldn’t breathe, your lungs contracting as his face fell towards yours, your lips meeting ever so slowly as they finally landed on yours, soft and somehow delicate as they pushed against yours, finalizing the kiss as he began to move them.
You’ve never kissed anybody before, often dreaming about it as you lay in bed hopelessly in love, but never thought you’d be here from the man you’ve imagined on the other side doing it with him.
He moved slowly as if he knew that this was your first time, and you didn’t know how to handle your emotions as he angled his chin to get closer to you, his lips capturing you in such a heated and feverish pace that you knew you weren’t going to be able to sleep tonight as you thought back on it.
His hands slowly came up to your waist, tugging you flush against his body as your hands somehow found their way behind his neck, finger curling into his long strands of arctic white as he groaned against you when you tugged a bit, the sound coming from deep within his chest.
You were impatient, always have been, and it probably took him a little bit by surprise as you quickened the pace, hungry after so many years of starving for this as you pushed against him for more fervor, feeling him smile slightly against your lips as he met you in the middle, fingers digging into the fabric of your dress as you whined slightly as the feeling.
He nipped at your lips, his tongue poking out from in between yours, and you absentmindedly opened your mouth a little bit to make room for him, heart and mind working in tandem as he brought up a hand to cradle the back of your head, making sure it didn’t hit the wall as he pushed against you.
It was messy and hurried, and for once, it felt as if he felt the same you were feeling. As if he too wanted this, needed this more than air itself, and that thought alone made your mind stop functioning.
Your hands moved from his neck to his chest, fingers clutching onto the satin fabric of his suit, wrinkling the fabric as your noses bumped against each other, sheer desperation showing from the two of you.
“Viscount Gojo?”
The two of you almost jumped at the knock that sounded from the door.
“Your mother is asking where you are. She’s worried about the lady as well,” Fred didn’t peek his head in, and for that you were grateful. You were sure you looked like a total mess at the moment, but Satoru spoke, glancing at the door as he took a deep breath, almost as if it was his first time breathing in a couple of minutes.
“Tell her that we’re working things out. It’ll take a bit more time.” His voice sounded steady enough, but from where you were standing you could see how swollen his lips were, the fact that they were red and glistening with sweat. His hand on your waist tightened as if he didn’t want to let you go, and your hand lay flat against his chest.
“Of course,” Fred answered, “Take your time.” He shut the door completely, and the two of you waited until you heard his footsteps becoming softer and softer until you could no longer hear them.
You waited, looking in the direction for another second before you looked up at him only to see his eyes gauging yours for a reaction, somehow a storm going on behind them as he battled twenty different emotions.
“I’m still hurt Satoru,” you whisper, his eyes never changing but his shoulders tense a bit as you drop your hands away from him, as if you were suddenly coming to your senses and realizing what you had just done, “I can't forgive you this easily.”
You don’t know how to handle your feelings sometimes, and sometimes they catch up to you later than they should. You could still hear his words from that night ringing around your mind and nothing was stopping it no matter how hard you tried.
“Come get the letter when you’re ready to apologize with more than just your lips.”
You look back up at him one more time before you push away, feeling him lightly move away from you to give you space as you smooth out the front of your dress, touching your face to make sure that none of the makeup and powder that was swiped against your face wasn’t wrecked as you left.
You don’t look back as you left him silently in his room, shutting the door behind you as you stopped, taking a deep breath to calm your nerves as you went back down to dinner.
---
A week passed since your night with Satoru, and you’ve come to terms with the fact that he regrets it.
It hurts, it hurts even more when you convince yourself that he probably was trying to take pity on you and test how true his old words were, but you couldn’t spiral, knowing that it would cause even more turmoil.
Lily came by regardless, under the impression that you and her brother made up and are on better terms, and you're in no rush to tell her the truth of what happened.
She asked about the note, but you insisted that you couldn’t find it. She grumbled that he probably threw it away after she pestered him constantly about it.
“What about Lord Balfour?” She was sprawled out on your bed, her legs crossed resting it up against the wall with her head at the opposite end, looking on a piece of parchment in which she had gone around asking for men looking for marriage (and a true romantic connection, she stressed).
“Hm, too bald,” you said, sitting in your vanity, washing off the rest of the powder on your face as you dipped the soft cotton cloth back into the pitcher of water as you looked at her through the mirror, “Isn’t he a year younger than us?”
She pouted as she thought, looking back to her list as she crossed off that name.
“Count Alexei?” She seemed to like this one and you set your towel down, trying to place a face to the name.
“Isn’t he from Russia? Wouldn’t it be difficult for him to come back and forth?” You asked and she nodded, although she seemed more sad that you didn’t want him.
“Have you just gone around the ton asking if anybody’s looking for marriage?” You teased and she turned around, sitting up as she wiped the hair out of her face.
“I take your journey to find true love very serious,” she argued and you snorted, knowing that it was a kid if that and the fact that she liked judging the men of the higher class, “Are you complaining?”
“No, of course not.” You turn around from your chair as you face her, urging her to continue.
“Duke Cambell?” She looked up from the list with a raised brow, only to find you looking the same, taking more time to consider the name.
“He explicitly stated he’d consider marriage? With me?” You tilt your head to the side. Surely it would be too good to be true. He wasn’t too pretty, nobody was like Satoru, but he wasn’t that bad to look at either.
“He seemed quite eager about it, actually.” She said, and you smiled a bit, feeling like a silly schoolgirl with the way you ducked your head.
“He’s a bit shy, isn’t he?” You said with a little giggle and she snorted, nodding as she circled his name and put a question mark next to it.
“Just means he’s more apt to moan louder,” she said blandly and your mouth dropped, burrowing your face in your hands at her very open nature. Even after ten years it sometimes caught you off guard.
“Lily!” You shouted, trying to hold in your laugh, and she just looked at you as if you should have expected this as she rose from your bed, stretching her arms above her head as she let out a frantic yawn.
The sun had already set and she knew her mother would be expecting her to arrive soon, and you went to stand but stopped you.
“No need to stand, I’ll bid farewell from here.”
You rolled your eyes at her dramatics, picking up the cloth again as you dabbed at your cheeks.
“I assume you’ll be here tomorrow?” Crossing your legs as she shrugged as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.
“Yes. In fact, I’ll leave this prized list with you so that you can mull it over,” she walked over a bit and set it down on the top of your vanity, looking at you as she put a solemn hand on your shoulder, “Do think over Count Alexis. He is rather dreamy.”
You chuckled, waving goodbye to her as she left the door with a litter thud, blowing kisses as you snorted at her exaggerated act, turning back around to your mirror as you wiped away the remaining bits of your makeup.
You were already in your dressing gown, the material soft and light on your skin as you set the cloth back down, drying your face off with another one as you got ready to sleep.
With meticulous care you took your earrings off and began to work on your necklace but struggled with the finicky clasp, your thumb slipping just as you were about to get it. You let out a quick groan of frustration, shutting your eyes as you tried not to lose your temper over a necklace.
“Do you need help with that?”
You were getting better at controlling your reactions, but your eyes snapped over to the top of your mirror as he stood there, shutting the door behind him. Your hands fell to your lap as you silently seethed.
Ella was never going to hear the end of it.
You said nothing and he quietly walked over to where you sat with your back to him, opting to look at him through your mirror as his slender fingers slowly came up to your neck.
“I’m getting rid of my maid.” You mutter eyes dropped to your lap as you try to control your breath as his fingertips touch your delicate skin, gingerly getting to work of undoing the clasp. He didn’t say anything and the only sound that filled the room was your slow little puffs of air, trying to get your pulse to stop from doing the strange rhythmic beating it always did when you were around him, as if he somehow became the conductor of your heart.
You heard a small click and the necklace became undone, and he gathered it in his palm as he set it down next to your little trinkets, dropping his hands from your shoulder as his cerulean eyes found yours once again, and you looked away, his deep stare burning through yours.
“Don’t,” his voice came out rough as if he hadn’t made much use of it for a while, “She’s always turned me away when I came asking for you. I weasled my way through her right now, almost blew my cover when Lily was leaving.”
Oh.
“I’m over it.” No, you weren’t, but you wouldn’t admit that out loud.
You opened up the drawer to the left of you, moving some little cases of jewelry around as you found the letter you had hidden away as you brought it out, setting it on the desk as you stood from your chair, pushing it back in as you faced him, “Take it. I didn’t read it.” Despite how much you wanted to, you just couldn’t bring yourself to stoop that low and read through something he didn’t want you to see.
He glanced over at the letter and then at you, taking the letter with careful movements as he found the letter opener scattered on your desk, ripping through the wax as he opened it up, passing the envelope back to you.
“Read it.”
You certainly weren’t expecting that.
“What?” You couldn’t blink, looking at his outstretched hand that held the very thing that had been bothering you as if it was nothing, “I don’t-”
“Go on,” he urged quietly, his voice caught in the back of his throat, “Read it out loud. Please.”
You looked at him once more to make sure he wasn’t going crazy before you gently took it from his hands, your fingers brushing past each other as you opened it up, taking out the letter as you unfolded it, taking a deep breath as you prepared yourself for the worst.
“I’m terrible at writing letters, you should know,” you start, squinting as you move closer to your candle so that you can read it better, “And you should know that I’ve written this twenty other times. I have-
“Twenty balled-up pieces of paper next to me,” Satoru finished the sentence, not looking at the letter once as he read it from memory, “If only you could see the mess,” he paused, his hands shaking a bit as he continued, “I apologize for not sending as many letters to you as I should, but aside from my travels which have proven to do nothing other than make me regret leaving, I only have one other thing left to tell you.
“I love you. I’m in love with you. I thought that it would do me some good to leave and get some time to think about how bad it would be if I said out loud that I was in love with the girl who’s my sister's best friend, but I’ve simply gone mad over needing to see you again. I’m in Paris, which is coincidentally the city of love but I’ve grown bitter and resentful over the fact that the woman I love is an ocean away from me. I can’t do it anymore. No, scratch that, no, I can’t do this other letter…”
“...It’s too pathetic. You’re worth more than this.” You concluded, reading along because you couldn’t be yourself to look up at him, knowing that you simply would break apart and couldn’t take it as you heard the three words you’ve wanted to hear from the man that you never thought would say them.
You looked at the paper, eyes scanning each word again as you let out a heavy sigh, feeling like you were living in a dream that was wrapping its arms slowly around you and whisking you away.
“That night, I projected. I don’t know why I said what I said, I just know that thinking it over told me everything I needed to know and I acted like a coward and a fool and I hurt you when really, I love you. I love you, I’ve never stopped. I burn for you, and I always will.” He whispered, his eyes wet with unshed tears as he cleared his throat, wiping at his nose as he sniffled.
You’ve never seen him like this, exposed and raw. But you knew that you mirrored his emotions, knew that you were in the same state that he was for he carefully brought his hand up to your cheek, wiping a tear away as he cupped your face in his hands.
“I know that it would be too much to ask for your forgiveness, but please, I don’t know how much longer I can go without at least seeing your face, hearing your voice, your laugh, you’re kind, kind heart.” His hands trailed down your face, down your arms, and your waist, settling on your hips as he ducked his head downward, tears sliding down the curve of his nose as he did something unexpected.
The Viscount Gojo Satoru began to kneel.
You froze, looking down in shock as he bowed his head in shame and apology.
“‘Toru, please, I,” your voice broke and you quickly wiped your tears away, taking his hands that were sprawled out across your waist as you held them, not knowing how to handle this display of vulnerability as you gently made him look up at you, “Just tell me one thing.”
His thumb caressed the back of your hand, giving a soft nod as he whispered; “anything,” and his hand moved up your waist, holding your back as your hands unknowingly went to his hair, moving it away from his face as your fingers twirled and played with his white strands, basking in the sense of having him at his knees for you.
“Why did you wait so long to come back?” Your voice is barely audible as it cracks, a year of missing him and ten years of longing for him coming out as he shakes his head, almost as if he was more remorseful about it than you could ever imagine, and he shifted so that he wasn’t resting on his ankles anymore, digging deep into his pocket as he brought out a little box.
“I went back to Japan. I was trying to find this little ring my father gave my mother back when he started to pine after her,” he opened up the box, a delicately cut blue diamond rind resting on a thin gold band stared back at you, shining in the candlelight, “I wanted to give it to you as a promise…” and he trailed off, a blush spreading across his cheeks as he suddenly became a bit embarrassed, pocketing the box again as he looked back up at you.
“What was the promise?” You can barely hear your words over the thumping of your heart.
He swallows, slowly coming to standing back up, never losing his hold on you, clutching onto your thin nightgown as if it was the only thing grounding him to reality.
“That I’d marry you one day.” He whispered back, his voice hushed as if he didn’t want them to escape the vicinity of your room, this shared space between the two of you in which you stripped each other bare to the soul, only the find that they longed to be in each other's place even when they were miles apart.
Just as he did so many nights ago, he leaned closer to you, giving you time and space to push him away, to yell, to scream, but you didn’t, nudging his nose with yours as your lips found each other, this time quick and rough and not wanting to be patient because there was no room for such a thing.
He let out a small groan as you tugged on the hairs at the back of his nape, pushing you further down until your back hit one of your windows, feeling the cool night air from the glass as it traveled through the thin cotton of your slip
It seemed like something in him was finally let go, and you as well, and everything came tumbling down in the best way possible.
It was so messy and rushed and desperate that you felt like you were going to faint, the air from your lungs being stolen by his hungry and greedy lips as he pushed back roughly against you, needing to taste you, feel you, or else he simply wouldn’t make it.
Satoru tapped the back of your thighs, urging you to wrap your legs around his torso as you pulled away slightly, questioning him as he scoffed at your doubt.
“I spent a year getting bigger and stronger for you,” he murmurs against your lips, “and the first thing you said when you saw me was oh. Come on,” he nipped at your lips, his boyish and charming smile growing when you whimpered, “Test me out.”
You gave in, standing on your toes as you did what he asked, and you let out a little laugh of surprise at how he wasted no time wrapping his arms tightly around your waist as he smirked, going away from the ball as he led you to your bed, basking in the sound of your twinkling laughter as you admired him in all his glory.
“I shouldn’t have doubted you,” you tease and he snorts, fixing your gown as he hovers above you. He was huge, so much bigger than you anticipated in your imagination, but it was so much better than you ever could have thought.
“I’d never lie to you,” he promised, pressing another chaste kiss to your lips that left you breathless as he continued downwards, pressing kisses down your jaw, and your neck, spending time as he sucked at one of your vital points, enjoying the way you sounded like you had run a marathon.
He looks stunning here; his lips look bruised and swollen, pink and wet with spit. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of your body, and if you weren’t crazy about how he looked at you, you would’ve shielded yourself away in embarrassment.
But he didn’t give you any time to think it over, pushing past your loose nightgown as he pressed delicate pecks to your shoulders and upper chest region, looking up at you to make sure it was okay to continue.
You quickly nodded, eager to see what he was going to do.
“Mind if I take this off?” He asks, tugging at the ends of it as you look at him from beneath your lashes, trying to feel indifferent as you shrug, but the way you smile giddily gives away just how badly you want him to.
“I wouldn’t mind.” You help him move it upwards, your arms coming out from the sleeves as the chilly air hits your naked skin, and you suddenly realize just how out in the open you are compared to him.
Out of second nature, you go to cover your chest but he tsks, gently pushing your hands away as he eyes your breasts, looking like he had just come back from staring at the sistine chapel with the way he looks at you.
Your nipples harden from how cold it was, and he slowly dips his head down to one of your tits, kissing the soft and supple skin as he inches closer to your bud, finally latching his mouth onto it as you throw your head back, arching your back into his lips as he sucks like his life depends on it.
“S-shit, ‘Toru, so good,” you mewl, wrapping your hands around his neck as he flattens his tongue against your nipple, his teeth grazing the sensitive area as you whine even louder, not seeming to care if anybody outside your door could hear.
His other hand lathes onto your other one, not wanting to leave her unattended as he pinches your nipple between his two fingers, twisting it just enough to make you shut your eyes at how good the attention feels.
“Let me hear you,” he groans into your skin, looking up at you as you try to cover up your mouth with your hand, “I’ll stop if you cover up that pretty mouth of yours.”
You simply nod, leaving your shaky hand to grip your bed sheets as he switches his mouth and hand with each other, giving you different sensations to wrap your hands around as you feel a deep part of your pulse, needing more of him.
“‘Toru, please,” your voice comes out shaky as he releases your tit with a pop, his hands going down to hold onto your hips as you bring his chin up for another kiss of swapping spit with him, growing to appreciate the lewdness of it all as you lay feather light kisses on his jawline, feeling him shudder beneath you, “Wan’ more.”
At any other time, he would have drawn this out, would have teased and prodded at you to use your words, to tell him where you needed him most, but he couldn’t wait with you, wanting to have a taste of you himself.
So his wolfish grin comes back, his hand traveling down your stomach, stopping just above your mound as he cocks a brow at the way you seem to grow impatient, reaching the place you seemed to have in mind.
“Here?” He asked quietly, his pointer finger moving to find your clit as you let out a quiet gasp, his expert fingers having nothing on your inexperienced ones. Sure you’ve touched yourself deep into the night when you made sure everybody was asleep, but it never felt like this.
You couldn’t speak, so you nodded again, and that seemed to be good enough for Satoru as his finger moved down to your lips, a deep groan coming from within his chest as he felt how wet you were, and prodded his finger at your tight walls, slowly pushing past them as he seemed to be in a trance.
You sucked him in so delightfully, pulsing against his as your slick stained his finger, making it easier for him to fuck you with a little bit more pace, careful not to hurt you, as he brought it back up to circle at your clit, trying to find what places you liked to be teased most.
“O-oh my god,” your eyes rolled back in your head as his long find pushed back against your gummy walls, his other thumb finding your nub as you whined even louder, not used to feeling this good, spreading your legs out even further as you tried to make room for him.
“There you go, s’perfect,” he said against your skin, dipping down as he moved a hand to keep your thighs further apart, “Mind if I have a taste?” And you were in another dimension, just cradling his neck as you pushed him to go further.
He chuckled darkly, nearly going insane as he neared your glistening pussy, eyes growing dark as he moved his fingers away so that his tongue could have its turn, and you swore you almost came right there.
He licked gingerly, savoring you first as he groaned, his thumb never giving up on circling and massaging your clit, but he began to eat you out as his life depended on it, licking and sucking like you were his last meal.
“‘Toru, ‘Toru, fuck!” You screamed, biting your lip harshly as you kept your finger tight around his hair, “Don’t stop, please!”
“F-fuck,” he murmured, coming up for a quick breath as he looked at you from his long white lashes, “Fucking kill me if I ever stop, okay?”
He goes back in with the same amount of fervor, your chest moving up and down as you arch into his mouth, your jaw going slack as you quickly feel that rope in your stomach tightening, embarrassed at coming so early but knowing that there was no way you could stop yourself with the way he fingered you out at the same time he ate you out.
“I’m yours,” he said against your skin, “I’ll always be yours.” It was out of place, but it seemed like he was branding it into your skin so that everybody else knew, knew that he belonged solely to you.
It was too much, and you felt like you were slowly losing your ability to think, talk, or do anything, and the only thing you could feel was him, and you felt it all coming to a crescendo as his mouth latched onto your clit, letting it all go as you came into his mouth.
“‘M c-coming, mmmm fuck!” You couldn’t even believe the sounds you were making as you clenched around his finger, your essence coating his chin and hand as your legs were trembling, glad that he held a stable hand on your waist.
You saw white for a couple of seconds, taking even longer to catch your breath, your tits rising and falling with each heave, and you suddenly felt like you came back down to earth, peeking out from an eye to see Satoru smiling down at you, his face soft and you whined in shock at what just happened, hiding your face into one of your pillows as he laughed lowly, the sound dripping down your ears like warm honey.
“You just came around me, no need to be modest now.” He gently moved your face away from the sanctuary of your pillow so that you could look at him again, and he leaned down, pressing one final kiss to your lips, letting you taste yourself on him as you let out a muffled moan.
“How do you feel?” He asked as he pulled away, sitting on his haunches, letting you drape the blanket around your sweaty chest as you tried to sit up, shaking a bit as you tried to recover from your mind-breaking orgasm.
“Good,” you say groggily, wiping at your eyes as you give him a lazy, languid smile, “Really good.”
“Yeah?” He asks, chuckling as you nod, finding his hands as you play with his long fingers, and he lets you watch as you let them entangle with each other, somehow feeling more connected through this than the previous activity as you slowly pull him back down towards you, wanting nothing more than to curl into his chest.
“Give me a second love,” he wanted the same thing, but he pulled away, “Let me clean you up.”
You didn’t fight it and let him go, watching as he found the pitcher of water on your desk as he found a clean rag and wet it, coming back to your bed until his eyes caught something under the sheets.
He picked it up, reading it as he sat down next to you, running the cold towel across your thighs as you let out a little whimper at the temperature. He pressed an apologetic kiss to your forehead as he turned the paper around in silent questioning.
Your eyes widened, trying to take it away but he held it above your head. If you had more fight in you, you might have wrestled for it, but you gave up, letting him clean you up as he tried not to laugh at how measly it was.
“I doubt Cambell would know how to make you come.” He finally says, throwing the rag away somewhere as you groan, pushing his face slowly away as you try to fight the giddy laugh that was going to bubble its way from your chest.
“Stop! Lily was just trying to help!” You argue and he waves his hands, loosening the buttons of his tunic as he crawls in next to you, pulling you flush against him as he kisses the tip of your nose.
“It’s fine love,” he nestles his nose in your hairline, smiling when you hitch a leg over his, “You’re mine now.”
You look up at him, tracing over his features with the light touch of your fingertips as he leans into your warmth.
“Do you promise?”
He gives a single nod, sliding the delicate ring over your finger, and closes his hand around yours.
“Promise.”
#gojo x reader#gojo x reader smut#gojo x you#gojo x you smut#gojo x reader angst#gojo x you angst#gojo x y/n#gojo smut#jjk x reader#jjk x reader smut#jjk smut#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru smut#gojou x reader#gojo satoru imagine#jjk angst#jujutsu kaisen x reader#bridgerton!au#gojo saturo#jujutsu kaisen imagine#satoru x reader smut#gojo satoru x reader smut#gojo x y/n fluff
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Oh, How I Hate Him
Pairing: bad boy!Minho x student council prez!fem!reader (college au) Genre: angst, fluff Word count: 8k >.> Warnings: college idiots, mention of drinking, drugs, smoking O_O DONT DO ANY OF THAT, cringe romance, enemies to lovers, dick exboyfriend. protective Minho >.> <.< thats it i think????
a/n: did I intend for this to be smut? Yes. is it? no. do i mind tho? absolutely not someone help me come up with a better title...
You inhaled deeply and smiled contentedly as you entered the student council office.
"Good morning Ms. President." Your friend and vice president, Jia, said.
You gave her a side eye. "I said don't call me that."
"I'm sorry." She giggled, "Yuna, schedule today?"
"We have to collect signatures for lowering student parking costs and start the campaign for the cafeteria to be expanded and renovated this summer, you also have to meet with the principal to discuss how the high schoolers are going to tour the campus, " Yuna, the student council secretary and planner named off things from the list.
You nodded, "Not too much." You checked your watch, "I have a class at 8:30 and I haven't gotten my coffee yet, any of you want to come with me?"
Jia and Yuna looked at you, with are you for real right now man? faces before getting up and grabbing their bags to go with you.
You went to the cafeteria and as you were getting your iced americano, a student came up to you.
"Y/n, can you sign here to help keep our debate program alive? The district is trying to cut off our funding to have our formal debate team dissolved." The boy handed you a clip board and a pen.
You signed your name before picking up your coffee, "I'm running a little late, Yuna, can you take the papers on my desk to the principal's office?"
"Sure." Yuna picked up her own coffee and ran off.
You briskly made your way across campus and checked your watch, 8:25 AM, right on time. You entered the history classroom and smiled, "Good morning." You greeted your professor before going to sit, not too close to the front, not too far back, and not perfectly situated in the middle.
As the classroom filled, your friend, Seungmin, leader of the science olympiad team sat beside you.
"You're a bit late don't you think?" You teased, taking out your notes.
"Not everyone i always going to be as punctual as you, Madam President."
You rolled your eyes.
The chatter in the classroom died as the teacher stepped to the front of the class, "Good morning class, as you know this is the only history class you have to take to meet the graduation requirements. So, if you intend to slack in my class just know your future depends on your performance in this cl-" She was cut off.
The door opened and you looked away from the teacher seeing a man with redish brown hair and a leather jacket at the door, he had pretty eyes and small but plump lips. His eyes raked over the class for a moment before he looked at the teacher, "Sorry, I'm late."
"You are?" She raised a brow.
"Minho. Lee Minho." He said, walking into the class and going up the steps to the back of the classroom, he passed you and your eyes met. He smirked slightly and you made a face, not bothering to watch where he sat.
"I hope you won't be late again, Mr. Lee." The teacher said.
"No promises." He said.
She pursed her lips before continuing her speech about the importance of the class, where to find the resources, the books you'd need, the minimum grade you'd need to pass the final and so on. A snicker made Seungmin look over his shoulder.
Minho was sitting beside a guy with chubby cheeks and big eyes. Han Jisung, who, raised a brow at you and Seungmin as if to ask what.
The teacher kept talking and Minho and Jisung's distractions persisted before finally the teacher, who you now knew as Mrs. Jung snapped. "Gentlemen, is there something that's important enough to interrupt my lesson?"
Minho looked a bit surprised and Jisung blinked a few times.
"No.. ma'am." Minho said tentatively.
"Mr. KIm," Mrs Jung said.
Seungmin looked up a bit confused. "Ma'am?"
"Swap seats with Mr. Lee."
Your mouth fell open, SAY SOMETHING! SAY NO! ASK HER POLITELY TO RETHINK HER DECISION. "Ma'am I really think-" You started.
"As the student body president and one of the three candidates for valedictorian of your graduating class, Y/n, I think you'd be a good influence on Mr. Lee." She reasoned.
Seungmin put his notes in his bag and sighed deeply. "It's fine Y/n, we'll talk later anyway." He went up the steps and waited on Minho to collect his things before sitting next to Jisung.
You looked at Minho as he sat beside you. This was going to be a rough semester.
You went to the student council office after class to handle what Yuna had told you about in the morning and as you set your bag down you bristled, staring at the stack of papers on your desk. The same stack of papers you told Yuna to take to the principal that morning. You sighed and grabbed the papers and left the office, walking briskly down the hall and to the administration office, greeting the schools secretary before setting down the papers in the principal's office.
You went to return to the student council office, pulling out your phone to check over things when you passed the entrance to the arts department. You froze as you saw something in the corner of your eye, looking up to see Hyunjin and a guy in a hoodie.
You raised your hand and opened your mouth to wave but stopped yourself. Who was that guy anyway... You shrugged and went back to the office to handle your things.
You started counting the signatures the other members of the council left on the table, you let out a soft sigh of frustration, for people who complained about it being too much to park on campus, they really, REALLY, did not seem to mind that much.
You went back to your apartment and greeted your roommate, Doyeon, who, was sitting on the couch eating your snacks.
"HEY! Those are mine!" You huffed.
"Are they??!" She looked genuinely shocked.
You rolled your eyes and went to go change before sitting beside her and munching on the snack too.
"Oh, Yeongs-" she started.
"Save it." You said, looking at your phone.
"But he-"
"DODO!" You looked at her. "No. You told me not to be persuaded by him, you shouldn't be either."
"But he seemed genuinely sorry." She muttered.
"He always seems someway." You rolled your eyes and looked back at your phone. You got a notification from instagram suddenly.
You looked at Doyeon. "Does EVERYONE on campus have my instagram?"
She looked away from the TV, "Why are you asking so suddenly?"
"No reason." You muttered, looking back at your phone before following Minho back. He and his stupid self.
The following day Minho was late, much to your delight, you took notes and listened to the teacher for about the Egyptians and the Romans. Twenty minutes late, Minho strolled into class and sat beside you, not bothering to take out his books or anything.
"Good morning Madam President." He whispered.
"You could at least try to get here on time." You said, quickly scrawling down something Mrs. Jung had said.
"You could at least try to relax sometimes." He shot back rolling his eyes.
"If you're going to be late," You slid the first part of the notes to his side of the desk, "Play catch up."
Minho pursed his lips before sighing and taking the notes, he wrote them down faster than you expected, sliding them back to you after about five minutes and peeking at the sheet you were working on. You didn't say anything until as you were writing, he kicked you under the desk. You looked at him.
He was following along with the teacher as if he hadn't done anything. You rolled your eyes and went back to working. Minho's antics persisted until the and of class and as you were packing up your stuff you turned in a bit of frustration back to your desk to see more papers.
Minho was talking to the girl across the isle, she giggled at something he said and you grabbed the papers and pulled out a folder, arranged it neatly then put it carefully into your bag.
You were about to go when you realized your water bottle wasn't in your bag. You looked around your area for a moment before you clenched your fists at the sight of your bottle in MInho's lap.
You grabbed it and were about to leave when he held up your phone.
"LEE MINHO!" You fumed, grabbing your phone and storming out.
"You seem mad-" Jia said, steering clear of your volcanic rage as you threw your things onto the table.
Some of the members of the council squeaked and took off running.
"I hate Lee Minho." You practically growled as you sat in your chair.
A few days later you had worn a pair of heels for a meeting and they had been hurting your feet. You grimaced slightly while getting your coffee and Hyunjin sighed.
"You don't have to wear those shoes y'know." He sighed.
"I have to build habit." You huffed.
Yet when you got to class you really wished you didn't have to "build habit". But you wouldn't admit Hyunjin was right either. So you suffered through the entirety of class and somehow made it to the student council office. The moment you sat down and sulked over your feet you got a text.
You looked at your phone and rolled your eyes at the sight of Minho's contact. You ignored the "You look like you stepped on a lego" text and tried to turn to your work when another text came to your phone.
"Don't ignore my texts." followed by a "Call down your guard dog."
You stared in confusion for a moment before opening your phone and responding finally.
You opened the door to see Seungmin glaring at Minho.
"Y/n tell this hooliga-" He started.
"What do you wa-" You interrupted Seungmin only to be cut off by a pair of slippers being thrusted into your face.
"Wear comfier shoes. You look like you've been in pain all day. Idiot." Minho turned on his heel and walked away.
You blinked in shock for a moment. "Did he just.."
"You give her the slippers?" Hyunjin asked as Minho blitzed into the dance studio.
"Yeah..." He relaxed as he realized he was safe. He must've looked like an idiot. But when you were leaving the campus that evening Minho saw you and Seungmin walking to thee latter's car. A small smile came to his face as he saw you were wearing the slippers.
The next few months were packed for you, your teachers piled work on you like there was no tomorrow, and you wrote essay after essay. Business with the student council wasn't much better as Jia got sick with something and the campus tour date was coming closer and closer.
And Minho? Oh how you hated him. You hated the way he walked and talked and how he seemed to understand things without reading too much. You hated how he smirked at you in the hall way and how he got under your skin.
"I'm going to assign you your first project of the semester," Mrs Jung said from the front of the class.
You sucked in a breath and looked at your already stuffed bag, full of books and papers for your other classes.
"You will work in pairs." She said, "The rubric and criteria needed are online, if you have any issues feel free to ask me. I will assign partners now."
You exhaled shakily, Please don't be Minho. Please don't be Minho Please don't be Minho-
"Kim Seungmin and Baek Soojin," She said, "Han Jisung and Park Junho,"
Please don't be Minho!
"Soo Dokyung and Jin Sungwoon."
GOD IM BEGGING PL-
"L/n Y/n and Lee Minho."
You wanted to die on the spot.
"Woulda look at that prez, we're a team." Minho whispered, smirking at you.
You bit your lip. This wasn't so bad, he seemed pretty good at turning in his stuff on time and was mostly accurate. You had everything under control. You took a deep breath and looked at him. "If this is going to work we need to distribute the work fairly. So, I'll research the fall of the roman empire and you research the rise, we'll have a document to collect references and-" You head throbbed for a moment and you grabbed your forehead.
"Are you okay?" Minho tilted his head, brows furrowing.
You nodded, "I'm fine."
Only you weren't because after class you went to the student council office and sat at your desk.
"Y/N are you okay?" Yuna asked as you held your head, sucking a deep breath before continuing with your work.
"Yeah I'm good." You said taking out your computer and getting ready to work.
"You look a little pale.." She muttered.
You still got to work on your research though, Yuna left after a while, telling you to take care of yourself and relax. Earlier than usual you finally decided to head out, calling a cab and-
"What's the president doing here so late?"
You looked at Minho, who was carrying a duffel bag and his keys. "Work," You said, looking at the road waiting for your cab.
He stared at you for a moment. "Are you okay?"
You turned to him, "Why are you so concerned if I'm alright today? I'm fine, thanks." You said a bit harshly.
He made a face, "You just look really burnt out. It's late, let me give you a ride."
"I already have a ride on the way, Minho," You shut him down fast and he pursed his lips.
"Whatever you say, Madam President." He walked away to the parking lot and you couldn't help but feel a pang in your chest, like you'd gone too far.
Your cab came and you made it back to your apartment, Doyeon was the third person to point out your sickly appearance but the only one who actually made it to feeling your head and gasping at how hot you were.
"What the hell Y/N?! Are you trying to kill yourself?!! Come on!" She dragged you to your bed and made you put your stuff down and change before getting you into bed. "You aren't going anywhere ma'am." She said, "You sit here and get better, Nurse Doyeon will take care of you."
"I'd rather die." You teased.
She pouted, "Meanie."
You rolled your eyes and smiled at your friend, "Thank you Dodo."
"Of course y/nnie."
If you felt like shit at school, that was only the beginning, you whined in pain at your sore throat and Doyeon had to convince you to eat even though it hurt to swallow. After you finally finished the noodles and all the soup Doyeon made you, she made you take medicine for your throat and to reduce your fever before letting you sleep finally.
Only as you were drifting of you thought about history and mentally berated yourself for not studying ahead for the lessons. You were about to grab your laptop when your phone buzzed. A message from Minho.
Minho stared at his phone for a moment, he thought about how you seemed a but more irritable and pale and how your usual upright, perfect posture was slackened. So he did do his research that night, and looked at his cat Dori, "She's so uptight. It's not fair.."
The cat mewed softly.
"You're right, I'll give her something tomorrow." Minho muttered, "Maybe she's overworking herself. You think she likes pasta? Or maybe I should make her strawberry cake..."
In the morning, Minho was getting ready for class when his phone rang, he pulled his shirt over his head and grabbed it, answering the call.
"Hyunjin?" He said, putting the phone on speaker.
"You coming today? Changbin might come too." Hyunjin said on the other end.
"Y'know I have a project to work on." Minho said fixing his hair in the mirror.
"Man, just a few hours."
"Yeah, nah." Minho said.
"Alright, your loss." He went quiet for a moment, "Did you see Y/n yesterday?"
Minho thought about how you looked so tired the day before. "Yeah."
"I'm a little worried y'know." Hyunjin sighed. "She never says anything when she doesn't feel well. But oh well, we'll see later."
Minho thought about what Hyunjin had said the entire way to class and for once, he was on time, sitting in his seat waiting for you. The classroom filled, the teacher entered, and you... never came.
He fidgeted slightly. Where were you? For the first time since he walked into that history class—much to Mrs. Jung and Seungmin's shock—Minho took notes. He jotted down things that were important and little details on the side, he underlined and highlighted did his best to seperate definitions and dates from key material as he'd seen you do.
After class he went to the student council office. This was abnormal. Where were you? You would never miss class even if you didnt have a ride and had to walk the entire way... in flip flops (as if you ever would) YOU WOULD BE AT SCHO-
"If you're looking for the president she's not here today." The secretary said.
"Why? Is she ok-" Minho started only to stop himself, "No problem."
He went to the arts department to see Hyunjin.
"Thought you weren't coming today?" The long haired man said, taking a hair band between his teeth so he could gather his hair.
"Came to say hi, I've got work to do." Minho shrugged.
"OH, 'cause Y/n isn't here?" Hyunjin giggled as he tied his hair.
Minho made a face. "Really wanna go that way?"
"No sir.." Hyunjin laughed nervously as Jisung and Changbin walked in.
"Minho! You came! Man we c-" Jisung said only to be cut off by Minho patting his head and moving him, hands at his waist.
"I came to say hi," Minho smiled, "I'm going now, I have work to do."
Jisung pouted. "It's cus Y/n is sick isn't it?"
Minho took a deep breath. "I'll see you guys tomorrow?"
When he left he made another copy of his notes in color, hole punched them, and put them in a nice folder before he went to his apartment. He stared at his phone.
"You should text her." Chan said over his shoulder.
"Why would I?" Minho looked at his friend. "Nah." He tossed his phone onto the couch and went to the kitchen and got to work making soup.
Jeongin appeared at his side. "Whatcha making?"
"It's not for you guys." Minho said, rolling his eyes.
"Then who is it for?" Chan said, looking over his shoulder.
"Yeah." Jeongin huffed.
Minho's mouth opened and he closed it again, deciding it was better to not say anything. Somehow he managed to get the food out of the apartment without either man getting it. He drove to your apartment and went up to your floor before raising his hand to knock on the door, he stopped himself.
Stop being an idiot... he thought before knocking on the door and waiting for a moment.
A girl with long hair and big eyes stared at him for a moment. "You are?" She said, leaning against the door frame.
Minho looked at her, "Lee Minho, Y/n's friend."
"Oh?" the woman got in his face. "What exactly makes you think you're Y/n's friend?"
"I- Well-" Minho stuttered.
"Doyeon."
Minho looked past the woman at you and sucked in a breath, you stood there wearing a pair of pajama pants and a baggy shirt.
"You know this guy?" the woman, Doyeon, questioned, pointing at Minho.
"He's the guy I'm doing the project with." You said, before clearing your throat and coughing in your elbow.
"Eesh, back to bed." Your roommate started ushering you back to your room and motioning for Minho to enter.
He closed the door behind him and put the food down in your kitchen but you pulled away from Doyeon and sat on the couch, arms out towards the man.
Doyeon looked between you for a moment. "I'll uh- Leave y'all to it-"
"Minho give me the damn food." Your eyes narrowed.
He smiled slightly and looked around your kitchen before finding a bowl and spoon with Doyeon's help. He got you some soup and carefully brought it to you.
You took it from him and took a cautious sip, eyes lighting up at the taste of it. "AH! Minho! You saved me! Doyeon's food was going to kill me!"
"HEY!" Your roommate huffed.
Minho laughed. "I'm glad you like it. You could've told me you were sick. We're par- friends no?"
You looked at him for a moment. "Yeah. My fault.."
He shook his head and handed you the folder. "Catch up Madam President."
You looked at the folder for a moment before looking at him, "I- thank you."
Minho somehow managed to suppress the smile that wanted to come to his face. "Yeah, whatever, just make sure you get better, taking notes is hard." He muttered.
You rolled your eyes.
After Doyeon went to bed, Minho persuaded you to also go to sleep, he made you take more medicine for your cough.
"You'll be back tomorrow or the day after?" he asked.
"The day after probably, in case I'm still contagious." You said softly.
He hummed. "I'll take good notes then."
You laughed lightly. "Thank you really.."
"The president can't fall behind because of an illness."
You smiled. "Idiot.."
He smiled gently. "Go to sleep, I'm going to leave before your friend jumps to conclusions."
You huffed a laugh. "Okay."
"Alright... Sleep well Y/nnie." He said as he left your room.
"Good night Min..."
Minho closed your bedroom door and made his way out of your apartment, making sure to lock the door before leaving. He leaned against your door as he closed it. "Dummy..." He muttered. "Relax it's good for you.." He said softly before walking down the hall to the elevator.
You did manage to come in to class the day after and you were immediately greeted by the student council in a bit of disarray because of the upcoming campus tour.
"Excuse me!" You clapped your hands to get the people's attention.
They all looked at you before Yuna jumped on you.
"OH Y/N I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE BACK!" She squealed.
"Schedule." You smiled at her.
"Yes ma'am!" She jumped into her her chair and spun for a moment before slamming her hands on her desk. "The high schoolers will be touring our campus the day after tomorrow, on Monday you have your speech in front of the administration and you have a scheduled meeting with a student later.
You nodded.
The people in the room stared at you for a brief moment.
"WELL?!" Jia shouted all of a sudden. "GET TO WORK WE CAN'T HAVE CHAOS WITH HIGH SCHOOLERS ON CAMPUS!"
The students started scrambling to get things done and you stood and went to history, greeting your teacher and apologizing for your absence before going to sit beside Minho.
"You're late." He smirked.
You checked your watch, you were three minutes later than usual. "You're suspiciously early."
"It's becoming a habit. You're rubbing off on me." He shuddered slightly.
You pushed him gently and he turned to look at you, as if asking you seriously just shoved him like that.
"I hope you don't rub off on me." You smiled.
Minho rolled his eyes.
Mrs. Jung started class and you kicked off quickly, you had to admit, Minho was a decent note taker.
After class you went to your office and fixed yourself a bit, waiting for the student who wanted to meet you. You opened your lip gloss and were in the middle of applying it to your lips when you heard a voice you dreaded to hear..
"Dolling up for me?"
You froze, looking at your mirror.
"Y/n?" Yeongsu said in a sing-song voice, you felt icky with how he drew your name out slowly, taunting you... "You haven't answered my calls, thought I'd pay you a visit." he grabbed the tiny cat figure you had on your desk.
You closed the mirror and looked at him. "Why are you here?"
"I got worried when I heard you were sick." He sighed, walking around your desk and kneeling, he tried to take your hand in his, "After all, you're my girl.."
You pulled your hand back roughly and glared down at him. "I am not yours. If you have nothing to talk about please leave."
Yeongsu cocked a brow. "I'm not one of your little student council members you can order around, Y/n." He stood.
"Leave." You said more firmly.
He reached his hand out to caress your cheek and you grabbed his wrist.
"Don't touch me," You said through grit teeth, "Leave now."
He stared at you for a long moment and you held your breath. Yeongsu pulled away and rolled his eyes, "You're still so uptight." he muttered, reaching into his pocket and taking out a cigarette. "That's fine," He looked at you. "I like it when you fight back."
You bristled.
He lit the cigarette and took a long drag, exhaling slowly. "If only they knew their perfect president ended up in my be-"
"Get out!" You shouted, springing from your seat so fast it hit the wall with a loud bang.
Jia opened the door to the office at that sound and stared in shock at Yeongsu.
He smirked taking another drag in the silence, exhaling and then whispering, "You're not all that amazing, Madam President."
You stared at your desk, trembling with rage as he walked out of the room.
"Y/n.." Seungmin ran in and stared at Yeongsu as he left before running to you. "Y/n-"
"Open the windows.." You muttered, the smoke choking you, no, the thought of that bastard choking you.
"Wh-" Jia started.
"Open a damn window!" You shouted before falling into your seat, burying you face in your hands. "Please..."
Seungmin ran to the side of the room and began opening the windows.
You took a few deep breaths, "Let's get ready for the tour..."
While finalizing the plans for the tour, Jia and Yuna left before you as most of the council did, you sent emails to the schools that would be coming and arranged for food for the students. You were so engrossed in your work you didn't notice the sky darkening and were only pulled out of your grind by the rumble of thunder.
You looked out the window as rain droplets started pelting against the window. "Crap." You looked around your desk for an umbrella and cursed as you found nothing in its usual spot.
You grabbed your stuff and shoved it into your bag before heading to the front of the school, you opened your phone about to call a cab.
"Y/nnie never has a ride does she?"
You turned and stared at Minho.
He smiled, holding up his keys.
In the car the only sounds there were was the sound of the window wipers and the quiet music on the radio.
"Let's go to my place, it's closer." He reasoned.
You looked at him. "Yeah, okay."
When you got to Minho's apartment he got out with the umbrella before going to your side and shielding you from the rain as you walked in. The elevator ride was quiet. Too quiet so you said, "We're going to keep researching."
"Yeah." He said, "Uh- My friends hang around here often. Don't mind them too much, they're a little um.. rowdy."
You nodded, "I don't mind."
Only when you got to the apartment you were surprised to see not one or two friends but three men and three cats.
One of the men looked up from something he was eating, "Minho, who's the girl?"
"Minho brought a girl home!?" A man with very chubby cheeks who you recognized immediately as Jisung poked his head out of a room, he froze when he saw you before laughing lightly and going back into the room.
"He did?!" A familiar voice said in shock.
You looked at Chan one of the fraternity presidents.
He looked at you, then Minho and back at you, "How did this happen?"
"RIGHT!?" Jisung called.
"We're here to work on a project!" Minho huffed, "Please.
"OHH!" The muscular man at the table looked a bit shocked for a moment. "We'll leave then, yea?"
"Yeah.." Minho rolled his eyes as Jisung and Chan came out of wherever they were and gathered their stuff.
As they were leaving the muscular man shouted, "USE PROTECTION!"
Your face got hot and you turned to the door.
"CHANGBIN!" Minho shouted.
"SORRY! Leaving now!" He called back before he finally left.
You looked at him. "Let's get to work shall we?"
He laughed slightly and motioned to the sitting area.
"Your cats are cute." You said as a dark colored striped cat came up to you.
"That's Dori." he said as you pet the cat. "Soonie." He motioned to a white and orange cat laying on the floor, "Doongie." He pointed at the last cat which was walking over to Minho.
"The names are cute." You hum as you let Dori run off.
"Someone called them old fashioned..." Minho rolled his eyes.
"Who?"
"No one important. Let's get to work."
For the most part you and Minho worked very diligently and then your phone buzzed, you gave it a glance before it buzzed again and you frowned turning it on its face to ignore it. It buzzed again and you huffed, grabbing the device.
You saw the instagram messages and rolled your eyes.
You hum and put your phone down.
"What?" Minho asks.
"Nothing." You shrug.
Parties with Hae-joo were... a lot... especially since Hae-joo was such good friends with Yeongsu.. 'For old times sake' worried you. Did Yeongsu put her up to it?
You jumped as Minho flicked your cheek. "HEY!"
"Pay attention." He rolled his eyes.
You hummed and looked back at your work.
"Is there any particular place you like?" Minho looked up from his computer.
"Not really no." You shrugged. "Maybe my bed."
He rolled his eyes. "The beach?"
"Never been." You said looking at your computer.
"HUH!?" he blinked in shock. "It's like an hour away!"
"I never have time I'm always working or sleeping. or both." You laughed lightly. "I didn't live too close to a beach when I was a kid either."
"I'll take you one day."
You stopped typing. "You serious? I don't need to go-"
"Its really pretty there. At the beach I mean.. especially at night."
You noticed the way he smiled slightly.
"Friend of mine took me and" He sat up and started typing. "It's just really nice."
"I'll consider visiting." You laughed.
That night Minho was scrolling on instagram when he got a message from Jisung.
The first thing Minho thought about was how the heck YOU of all people would actually go to a party like that.
The tour began early, the moment the high schoolers arrived you made sure everyone was on their best behavior. As you showed the students around the classrooms and lecture hall, you noticed him watching you from his seat in his accounting class.
Yeongsu was watching you as you told the high schoolers about the class before motioning for them to follow you out. You came to your history class and greeted Mrs. Jung, explaining the touring high schoolers and then you explained the class and it content and why it was a mandatory class.
"We'll continue now," You said about to leave, as you ushered the students out, Minho came down from his seat and grabbed your arm gently.
"Are you coming over later?" He asked.
You blinked a bit stunned, "No, I have to get ready for my meeti-"
He made a face, "We need to finish the project,"
"We have a few more days. It's fine." You smiled and pulled away.
"Is he your boyfriend?" One of the high schoolers asked.
Your mouth fell open, "I-"
Minho looked at you and smirked, "She's a very close friend, we're not dating."
"Oh," the student said.
You cringed as one of the girls gave Minho her number on a slip of paper. "Let's continue."
Minho looked at you and laughed lightly.
After classes you were in the student council office and you decided to visit Hyunjin in the dance studio. You opened the door and blinked a few times in confusion at someone fixing Hyunjin's stance.
"It's ugly." The person said. That voice was familiar...
"AGH! HOW!" Hyunjin fumed.
"Stand like this!" The person stood the supposed proper way.
"THATS HOW I W-" Hyunjin's mouth froze as he saw you.
"What?" Minho stared at you in shock for a moment.
"You like dancing?" You smiled slightly.
Hyunjin grinned devilishly behind Minho and tried to run away but the older man grabbed him and dragged him back.
"Yeah." He cleared his throat. "Is that a problem prez?"
You made a face. "No. Not at all. You should teach me sometime." You walked around a bit. "I just came to say hi... I'll go. Leave you guys to fix that."
Hyunjin tried to pull away from Minho who held him tightly by the forearm. "SAVE ME!" He mouthed.
You rolled your eyes and left.
At the party, it wasn't surprising that majority of the students were acting like it was a club, you squeezed through the crowd and looked around a bit.
"Ain't no way the president herself came to a party like this."
You turned and rolled your eyes at your friend Hongjoong, "Long time no see."
"How could you ever see any of us if you're always cooped up in that student council office?" A tall dark-haired man threw an arm around Hongjoong.
"You act like I'm there 24/7 Hwa." You laughed.
"We never see you anymore." He shrugged, "You don't want to associate with the riffraff of your past huh?"
"You aren't riffraff," You sighed, grabbing a soda from a table as you continued walking, "I just decided to grow up a bit."
The loud music shook the whole house and you felt it vibrating through you as you walked. You opened the soda can and took a quick sip.
"Y/N!"
You turned to the voice and smiled at Hae-joo, "Hey."
She hugged you, "Didn't think you'd actually come..."
"I didn't either, looking for a fr-" You stopped half way through your sentence and stared at Yeongsu, who was smoking in the corner with his guys, staring at you.
Hae-Joo's eyes followed yours. "He won't bother you, I made him promi-"
"Since when has he kept a promise." You took another sip of your soda.
"Come on, everyone's waiting for you." Hae-joo dragged you to the kitchen, all your old friends were there, laughing and smiing and drinking.
San was the first to notice you. "Y/N" He put down his drink and hugged you tightly.
"Hey! Hey-" You squeaked as everyone else piled on you.
"Give the girl a break. You'll crush her." Yunho rolled his eyes and smiled, "Good to see you."
You and your friends caught up when you noticed him as he walked in with Jisung and Chan. You left your friends for a moment and started walking over to him. His dark eyes met yours through the crowd and your heart skipped a beat.
He walked over to you and laughed slightly as he looked you over, "First time I've seen you dressed in something other than business casual or pajamas."
You made a face, "I'm not always dressed business casual."
"You always look uptight." He motioned to the crop top. "It's a good look on you."
Your face got hot and he looked at someone talking to him for a moment. You left Minho there and went back to your friends, you huffed as you noticed they were no longer in the kitchen.
You picked up your soda and took a sip after you finished the can you noticed that your head felt a little foggy like you were drunk. You stumbled slightly, it was a fucking soda. Unless.. you cursed under your breath, why had you left it unattended.
You stumbled and almost fell over, someone caught you and you were about to apologize when you saw the tattoo on his wrist and pulled away.
"Y/n, are you alright?" Yeongsu reached for you and you shook your head. You needed to leave, you needed to find Minho.
You pushed past the sweaty, dancing bodies and found tipsy Hyunjin and Chan.
"Y/n?" Chan stood, completely alert suddenly, "You drank?"
You shook your head, "Where's Minho?"
"I haven't seen him, do you need to lea-"
You pulled away and ran looking around you went up the steps and looked around at the drunk students, then as you entered a room you saw them. Minho, Jisung, and several other people you didn't recognize, you're heart stopped as you took in the position Minho was in.
A girl sat on his lap, taking turns with him at a cigarette. You watched as the smoke clouded up as Minho exhaled. The girl giggled and was practically rubbing herself all over him. Your breath picked up and you felt tears clouding your vision.
Minho looked at the door and his eyes widened slightly at the sight of you. Your eyes met and you shook your head before you took off running.
Minho came out of the room looking around the party. Where had you run off to.. You weren't the type to drink. At least he didn't think you were. You looked scared.
"Y/N!" He pushed past some people in the party then he heard someone.
"Y/N JUST RAN OFF!" a guy groaned.
Minho turned slowly.
"YEONGSU!" Hyunjin...?
Minho stared at his friend who had another guy by the collar.
"What did you do?" Hyunjin said lowly.
"My friend put something in her drink nothing bad-"
Minho saw red. "WHAT!?"
Hyunjin released Yeongsu and backed up as Minho stalked towards them.
Yeongsu stared at Minho, "What? You want to fight me? I didn't think she'd run out like th-"
Minho punched him hard.
You lay in bed staring at your ceiling as your phone rang for what felt like the hundredth time, maybe it was, you weren't counting.
"Girl.." Doyeon whispered as she walked into your room with (fav flavor) ice cream. "What happened?"
"Maybe I'm stupid, Doyeon..." You muttered.
Doyeon looked at your phone as it rang again, Minho's contact flashing across the screen. "Did he-"
"Him and Yeongsu aren't that different." You rolled away from her.
"Y/n.." Doyeon hugged you, "You don't need a guy, you've got me and Jia and Yuna... Hell even your guy friends."
You stared blankly at the wall.
"Y'know what, we're going to cheer you up, right now." She dragged you into a sitting position and opened the tub of ice cream, "The student council president is the strongest most independent woman I know, and she is the last person to beat herself up over a boy."
You stared at your friend. "Y-Yeah."
"Come on." She held up two spoons, "We can watch that show you wanted to try."
You walked into the student council office the following Monday and sat in your chair. "Yuna, schedule."
"We have a general meeting today and that's it." She said.
"Uh huh."
Jia's computer dinged. "You have a student meeting today."
"Schedule it for after lunch." You said, you walked into history class and turned in your paper on the Roman empire, you felt a twist in your gut, Minho wrote this with you.
You went to your seat and pulled out your computer, as class began you took notice of how Minho wasn't late... he never came.
You pushed down the worry in your gut and dragged yourself to lunch then the student council office. On your way you saw Jisung in the hall, he looked at you for a moment before turning back to the person he spoke to. You got into your office and stared at your phone, the notifications from Minho had piled up,you scrolled through the message notifications of "I'm sorry", "Answer", and "We need to talk".
You put your phone down as the door opened and you stared at Yeongsu. He smirked as he closed the door, "Heard your little boyfriend had a bit of trouble." You noticed the black eye he had.
Trouble... what trouble could Minho be in? "He's not my boyfriend," You said. "What can I do for you, Yeongsu?"
"Come on Y/n. Let's think logically here, you like when I do that." He walked around the desk and behind your chair. "Minho is in the same boat I am, maybe he's got a little heart. Maybe he's tryna crawl out of the pit we're in. But the same way you went to that party after you said you were done with us, he's fucking around with other girls because it's in his mind. You can take the person away from their habit. But you can't take the habit away from a person, Y/n..."
You stared at your desk. "What do you know..." You muttered as you looked at your phone on the desk. A notification from Jisung came on the screen.
"Huh?" he turned your chair to face him. "Think about it Y/n, you came back, you haven't changed deep down and neither has he."
"What do you know?" You looked up at him speaking a bit louder.
"Y/n."
"I'm asking 'What do you know?' what do you know about change that I don't? For you to educate me?" You stood and glared at him. "I'm different, I'm uptight, I'm reserved, I don't trust anyone! But I trust him. I've seen him change, I know he's not perfect, he's tempted all the time, he makes mistakes! He's human. He's more human than you will ever be." You pointed a finger in Yeongsu's face and said lowly. "So don't tell me he'll never be better. Leave." You pointed to the door.
Yeongsu stared down at you. "You think he's that good for you huh.."
Your eyes narrowed.
He didn't say anything more and left the room. You stood there and shakily exhaled before grabbing your phone and looking at the messages from Jisung.
You ran as fast as you could to the front of the school and called a cab, when it arrived the guy looked at you in the rearview mirror. "Where to?"
"Beach please.." You said frantically.
"Lady the beach is like an hour from here-"
You threw a wad of twenties to the front of the car. "Is that enough?"
The guy opened his mouth then closed it before turning on the engine again and looking at you, "Buckle up."
You gave him another twenty, "Make it fast."
When you got to the parking you waved the driver off and looked around, you ran to the sand and searched. You ran a bit and stumbled looking around you moved to get your phone and called Minho. It went straight to voicemail and you screamed running further into the beach looking for him, anything, his car, his jacket, anything..
You fell and gasped as you noticed that your heels were digging into the back of your ankle. You sat down and stared at your phone, the last message from Minho was from the morning. You took off your shoes and winced. Remembering how Minho had given you those slippers and told you to wear more comfortable shoes.
Your eyes filled with tears as you called him again, it went straight to voicemail. You were about to throw your phone into the sand when you heard the soft sound of sound shifting beneath someone's feet.
"Didn't I tell you to wear comfier shoes.." Minho said softly, he kneeled in front of you, taking your feet gently in his hands.
You stared at him, tears starting to fall from you eyes, "I was rushing.."
He looked up at your face and smiled softly. "You crying prez?"
You wiped your face and punched him. "I WAS WORRIED!"
"I thought you didn't want to see me anymore, I messed up, you wer-"
You kissed him hard.
He blinked in shock for a moment as you pulled away.
"Don't scare me like that!" You punched his chest again.
"I'm sorry.." He whispered. "For everything."
You stared at him for a moment before hugging him tightly. "I hate you."
He smiled and hugged you back. "I love you, too.."
Minho picked you up on his back and carried you back to where he parked his car. He got you in and drove to a small convenience store, buying you bandages for your feet and some slippers. He sat you on a bench outside and carefully put the bandages on the blisters on your feet.
You watched him for a while. "Who was that girl..."
"Which girl?" He looked up for a moment.
"The one who was on your lap." You muttered.
He looked up at you. "Y/n," he looked apologetic. "I don't even know her..."
You smiled slightly, "So she isn't important?"
He smiled. "Were you jealous?"
"NO!" You looked away, cheeks burning.
"I like someone a lot more than a random hoe.." He put the slippers on your feet.
You spun to look at him. "Who?"
He rolled his eyes and stood, bending to be eye level with you. "You, Madam President." He kissed your forehead gently.
You stared at him.
"It's late, let's go back, hm?" he helped you to your feet and led you back to the car.
You finally checked your phone after it buzzed for what felt like the millionth time.
"Do you want to go back?" Minho looked at you, before looking back at the road, "We have class tomorrow."
"I already turned in the paper." You said, putting your phone down. "We can go back tomorrow.."
Minho looked at your hands on the console, "Yeah..." He reached over and took your hand in his, giving it a soft squeeze.
You walked into the student council office to see Jia and Yuna talking to Yeongsu.
He noticed your presence first and quickly got up. "Y/N!" He walked over to you, reaching for you.
You took a step back. "Explain." You looked at the girls.
"We thought he'd know where you were." Jia said.
"Where were y-" Yuna started.
"With me." Minho walked in and smiled at Yeongsu.
Yuna and Jia stared at you.
Yeongsu opened his mouth to say something but stopped as Minho put an arm around you.
"You are?" He stared at Yeongsu.
Yeongsu closed his mouth and walked out.
Seungmin looked at Yeongsu walking out as he walked in, took in the sight in front of him and rounded on his heel. "Good luck with that."
"I KNEW IT!" Yuna pointed at you two.
You rolled your eyes.
"Coffee?" Minho whispered in your ear, "You don't want to be late."
"Why so uptight?" You raised a brow at him.
He rolled his eyes and smiled as he dragged you out.
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Like magic —Part 1
part 2 Male!yandere x female!reader x female!yandere
Hogwarts AU
Summary: your parents have denied you access to going to hogwarts, but finally in your 3d year, you manage to sneak off. But is life really that good at hogwarts when two students take a concerningly big interest in you?
Warnings: bullying, indications of unstable home life, kissing (dubcon?), forcing reader to throw up,
Word count: 6.8k
A/N: I have loosely followed the AU, but have made up my own things for the plot to work, so don't take my work literally :)
It has to be a joke, right? There’s no way that you can run straight through a wall! You gulp and look around, seeing if anyone else is doing the same, or if anyone is noticing how much you’re staring at the pillar separating the two platforms. Finally, you see two others make it through and you decide to make a run for it. You close your eyes and when you dare to open them again, you’re there. The train, the students, it’s finally time. After three, long years.
You were supposed to start when you were eleven, but you weren’t allowed to. They didn’t believe you. If you hadn't picked the lock to your bedroom, you'd not be here this year either. You don't have anything — no books, no animals, no broom. You only have a wand and a packed suitcase. You watch the other students already wearing their Hogwarts uniforms. They hug their parents and catch up with their friends. You sneak onto the train and sit down in your own little coupe. Your heart is hammering against your chest. Your parents will figure it out soon enough and you're terrified that they'll stand on the platform and demand you to get off.
Just start the train, make it leave.
"Oh, excuse me", a voice says.
You turn your head to the door, seeing a blonde girl standing there with a black, Grey and yellow uniform on.
"Can I sit with you?" she asks and quickly adds: "I saw you out on the platform. You looked rather lost so i just wanted to see if I could help you."
"Yeah, sure", you answer, startled. "Thank you."
The girl sits down on the couch in front of you with a smile.
"I'm Hedwig", she smiles. "Third year student. What's your name?"
"Y/N", you answer hesitantly. "I'm … new."
"I see. You're a first year student?"
"Not exactly, no … I'm supposed to be in third year too-"
"Oh, really?" Hedwig shines up. "I don't think I've ever seen you before. Which house are you in?"
"I don't know." You shrug embarrassedly. "This is technically my first year."
"Oh … I see." She smiles brightly. "That's totally fine. I can help you if you want. We have some hours to kill, so I can fill you up on most things so you're not as lost when you reach Hogwarts as you were out on the platform."
"Yes, please, that would be great. Thank you."
Hedwig fills you in on basic information. Four houses, different characteristics, a talking hat gives you your house. The school is a gigantic castle that has moving stairs, every house has passwords to their common rooms, some teachers are asses, some are okay, some are nice. Don't wander into the forest, especially at night, stay out of certain corridors. The janitor's cat is an asshole.
"I suppose you're a muggleborn then", Hedwig smiles and adds when you frown confusedly: "born and raised by normal people. Otherwise you'd know most things already."
"Are you?" you wonder, wanting to find something in common with this extraordinary girl.
"Halfblood, actually. My dad is a businessman and my mother is a witch. But don't worry, I don't care about what type of families people come from. It doesn't interest me in the slightest."
"Do some care?"
Hedwig squirms uncomfortably. "Some do. Some people think that being from a wizard family makes them superior to halfbloods and muggleborns, but don't you worry, those people aren't worth socializing with."
"Which house are you in?"
Hedwig smiles and shows you the yellow logo on her cape. You can see a badger in the middle.
"I'm a Hufflepuff!" she smiles and giggles. "The best house according to me, but I'm supposedly a bit biased."
"Which do you think I'll get into?" you ask.
"I'm not sure. It's hard for me to say after only talking with you for thirty minutes … but I think you could be a Hufflepuff like me … or a Gryffindor."
"Why a Gryffindor?"
"I don't know, but you seem to have a steady heart."
"Which is the worst house?"
"There's no such thing as a 'worst house', Y/N. Every house has both good and bad people — even Hufflepuff. Although some houses may have a bigger percentage of 'bad' people." She sighs. "Slytherin. Although I do have some friends from Slytherin, some of the students in that house can be quite … scary. Their pride can be extremely big and they let that go out over other people. Don't worry about it though, not everyone is mean."
You nod and gulp.
Hedwig catches you up on some easy spells and knowledge on the rest of the way. You avoid every type of question that can lead her to know about your … situation.
You get sorted into a house in private, after Hedwig asks the principal about not pulling so much attention to you. You're embarrassed as if already. You're a Ravenclaw.
"The uniform is so pretty on you, Y/N!" she gasps as you come out of Dumbledore's office. "The blue looks really good on you."
"Thank you", you say and feel the material. "What do I do now?"
"We'll go back to the welcome ceremony and then you'll have to talk to your prefects. They'll fill you in with everything you need to know." She takes your hands in hers. "If you ever need any books, let me know and I'll lend you one, okay?"
"Thank you, Hedwig."
She doesn't let your hands go. You have to pull them back to be able to walk to the hall. You sit down with the other third years and glance over to Hedwig’s table.
"You know Hedwig?" a Ravenclaw boy with black eyes asks.
"I met her on the train", you say.
"She's the most popular girl in our year", a girl says. "Everyone wants to be her friend."
"Really?" you wonder and glance at Hedwig who's sitting and smiling with her fellow Hufflepuffs. "She never came across as someone popular."
Maybe you're too used to how the people back home act.
When all the first years have gotten their houses and the food has been devoured, you follow your prefect through mighty corridors that have ghosts flowing past. You enter a rower with a long, spiral staircase. Your legs hurt after four steps.
"Y/N", the prefect says. "Before I show you to the dormitory, I need to talk to you a bit. Do you know any magic at all?"
"Hedwig taught me a bit on the train", you reply, concluding that only saying her first name should work if she's as popular as that boy had insisted.
"You'll have to take extra classes unless you want to start all over with the first graders."
You shake your head quickly. Rather hard work now than be known as 'the third grader among first years' for your entire school time.
You're led into the dormitory and granted your own bed. Your things are already in your drawers. After this long, eventful day, you fall asleep quickly, finally where you should be. When waking up, you’re first confused about where you are, sure that everything that happened yesterday was just a nightmare … but no, it was all real.
"Now, don't be alarmed, my dear", Hedwig says when you meet her. "You will do just fine, okay?"
"I have never been around the castle", you mumble and take a bite out of your toast.
"Your first lesson is Transfiguration. You'll have that class with the Slytherin students."
"Will we have any classes together?"
Hedwig smiles widely. "Sure, we will. But I think you better go now, you start in ten minutes."
Hedwig shoots her book over the table.
"Here you go" she smiles. "Good luck now, I'll meet you for lunch, okay? You can sit with me."
"Okay, thank you", you say quietly and walk out of the great hall. Your heart is beating loudly in your chest and you start to wonder if the feeling of needing to throw up is real or only imaginary.
You find yourself lost in the large corridors before finally finding your way.
"I'm so sorry", you say quietly as you enter. "I lost my way."
"I will have mercy on you this time", the professor says. "But don't think that this will be a habit of yours, young lady. I expect you to be on time from now on."
"Of course, Professor McGonagall. I'll never be late again."
"Very well." She looks around. "Sit down beside Edmund, all the Ravenclaw seats are filled."
"Yes, professor."
You glance over the class and see an empty seat with a boy wearing the Slytherin uniform sitting beside it. He looks bored out of his mind. Carefully, you make your way over and sit down. Edmund glances at you.
"Who are you?" he mutters. "Are you a transfer student or something?"
"Something like that", you answer.
The class starts and you immediately feel your head spin. You can't keep up.
"What's the matter, new girl?" Edmund chuckles while he leans his cheek in his hand.
"I-I've never done anything like this!" you hiss to avoid anyone else hearing.
Edmund’s face drops. He seems to … crawl together without having to move.
"You're a … a-", he starts.
"Edmund and Y/N, if you're going to continue talking, I'll use the both of you as guinea pigs — literally!" the professor says sternly.
Your cheeks heat up in embarrassment when the rest of the class turns to look at the both of You. Edmund rolls his eyes and grabs his book. When they turn around, you breathe out.
As break time starts, Edmund joins his friends.
"New girl", he says, catching your attention. "Next time, come earlier so I don't have to sit with you again."
"Of course", you mutter and leave.
You smile when you see Hedwig wait for you by the entrance to the big hall. She holds out her hand.
"I've missed you!" she smiles and hugs you tightly. "I was worrying for you all through Herbology!" She holds your hand while pulling you with her. "Tell me everything!"
You sit down by the Ravenclaw table to eat. Hedwig’s hazel eyes never leave yours.
"I came late, so I sat down beside a Slytherin student."
Hedwig's smile thins out slightly. "Oh? Who? Do I know them?"
"His name is Edmund."
Hedwig chokes on her pumpkin soup and starts to cough.
"What's wrong?" you ask quickly and pat her back.
"Did he say anything to you?" Hedwig asks worriedly.
"He just told me to be quicker to class next time so he didn't have to sit with me. A bit rude, if you ask me."
"A bit rude? Y/N, that boy is a bully!"
You feel a shiver run down your back.
"Edmund is one of those bad Slytherins I told you about", Hedwig says quietly. "He's a pureblood and … thinks he's better than anyone else. It's said that his parents helped … well, you know who, before he disappeared two years ago."
Hedwig had talked about that man on the train. You gulp.
"Whatever you do, Y/N — and promise me this — don't go close to Edmund", Hedwig says and holds your hands in hers. "Please?"
You nod. Hedwig smiles and caresses your cheek.
"Let's go to the library and study on the lunch break", she says. "There's so much you need to learn!"
You study with Hedwig every day. But she doesn't seem to mind, she neglects her friends to be with you.
"What a cute sight, isn't it?" you hear a voice say.
You're sitting in the courtyard, studying magical history. You look up, seeing Edmund and his two friends come over.
"One half and one mudblood, how sweet", he says with a wide smile. "They really do be letting anyone in these days."
“What is wrong with you?” Hedwig gasps. “Have you no shame?!”
“What? Did I say anything wrong? Aren’t you halfblood, Hedwig?” He turns to you. “New girl, aren’t you muggleborn? What did I say that is wrong, Hedwig?”
“You do not call Y/N that. You are a disgrace to the wizarding world, Edmund.”
“I find it funny how someone that isn’t fully pure is calling me a disgrace.”
Hedwig grabs your hand and helps you up on your feet.
“Come, Y/N”, she says. “Let’s leave. We can’t study here.”
You nod. While Hedwig drags you away from the courtyard, you glance over your shoulders, seeing Edmund’s icy eyes follow you.
“I can’t believe that he called you that”, Hedwig says quietly and pulls you with her. “I’m furious.”
“What did that mean?” you ask carefully. “Why did that matter so much?”
“Mudblood, Y/N, is one of the foulest things anyone can ever call a person. It basically means that your blood is disgusting for not being born into a wizard family. He … he called you something less than human. It’s disgusting.” Hedwig hugs you tightly and hides her face into your shoulder. “You don’t deserve that. You’re such a sweet soul, I’m so sorry.”
“Hedwig, it’s okay”, you promise with a smile. “I didn’t take any offense — I barely knew what it meant.”
“I get sad for you. You don’t deserve that.” She thinks for a moment and then lights up. "Would you like to have a sleepover?"
"How would that work out?"
"Sneak into Hufflepuff, I'll give you the password. I'll take all the blame if we get caught. Please, Y/N? It'll be so much fun."
"The girls you share a dormitory with will be tell on us-"
"No, they won't! Trust me. The girls like me, they wouldn't tattletail."
It must be beneficial to be popular. You frown. Aren't you quite famous now too? After being glued to Hedwig’s hip for over a month must have caused rumors. You have been so busy with your extra classes and studying that you haven't been able to catch up with it all. You barely know what your fellow Ravenclaws are named.
"Please, Y/N?" Hedwig pleads. "It will be so much fun. I will get us some snacks and we can read together and tell stories."
"Where should I sleep?"
"In my bed, of course! We're friends, it's not weird. What do you say?"
"Alright, if you promise that we won't get in trouble."
"No one will tell, I promise!" She takes your hand. "Let's go to the library and study now."
You do sneak into the Hufflepuff common room that evening together with Hedwig. You can't help but feel terribly wrong and every motion you make feels watched. At any time someone will pop out and you'll be caught. Hedwig pulls you through the common room and you can't help but gawk. Why weren't you placed in Hufflepuff?
Wearing your pajamas, you climb down into Hedwig’s bed. She smiles, cuddling up beside you. Her arm hugs yours, her head leaning onto your shoulder. The other girls in the dormitory glances at you, but none of them say anything to you.
“Y/N, what do you want to do?” she asks. “Would you like to read anything? Or just sleep? Or anything else?”
“I think I’d just like to sleep”, you say quickly. “My nerves are still telling me that this is a bad idea.”
You don’t admit it out loud, but you want it to be over as quickly as possible before someone finds you out. Hedwig nods and turns off the lights. You lay down in the light of the moon and feel how Hedwig crawls down beside you. She pets your hair in a loving manner, feeling it gently.
“You have such pretty hair”, she whispers, making sure no one else hears. “I always stare at it. Have you caught me looking?”
“Actually, no”, you smile. “I know you look at me a lot, but I didn’t know you looked at my hair specifically.”
“I’m not only looking at your hair, silly. I think you’re pretty.”
“I think you’re pretty too, Hedwig.”
“Really? Do you really think so?”
You nod. She seems to burst with happiness.
“But you already know that”, you say. “Everyone loves you. Everyone tells you that.”
“Yes, but there’s a difference when someone you don’t care about says it and when someone you hold dear tells you.”
You smile. Hedwig’s hazel eyes glisten in the moonlight as she smiles widely and curls up in your arms, like a cat. She holds you tightly, hiding her own face into your neck. You’re not sure how, but you do fall asleep easily that night — snug and secure in her warm embrace.
The next morning, Hedwig doesn't want to let you go. She begs you to skip breakfast and lay in bed, buy you insist on eating.
“Before we go, could you please try my uniform?” Hedwig pleads and holds up the yellow and black uniform. “I want to see how you’d look like if you were a Hufflepuff. Please, Y/N? Just for fun?”
“We’ll be late for breakfast”, you mumble.
“Nonsense.”
She has already start to tug at your pajamas. You give in and put on the Hufflepuff uniform. Hedwig watches you with excited eyes.
“Oh, why weren't you placed in Hufflepuff?” she sighs. “Why weren’t you placed with me?”
“I don’t know, Hedwig.”
“It’s so unfair.” She pouts. “We belong together. We’re destined to be side by side. Why did the sorting hat have to put us in two different houses?”
“The sorting hat has its reasons. Now, give me back my own uniform so that I can go to breakfast.”
“Yeah, yeah …”
You change into your own uniform before sneaking out to the corridor with no one in sight. A small smile plays on your lips. You managed to to do it!
Together, you walk to the great hall but before you reach it, Professor Snape has caught the both of you.
“You two better follow with me”, he says coldly. “You’re both in deep trouble.”
Shit. He knows.
Hedwig takes your hand, squeezing it. You only have time to look at her terrified eyes before you’re pulled into Snape’s office. He’s not alone. It seems like the entire faculty staff is there. Hedwig’s squeeze becomes tighter.
“Y/N, you went into the Hufflepuff house this night”, Dumbledore says, not sparing any sweet talk. “That is strictly forbidden.”
“I made her do it”, Hedwig says firmly. “Y/N hesitated, I told her into it, I convinced her. Please don't punish her, I was the one giving out the password from the beginning."
"These are serious things, miss."
"I know. I just … I really want to be with Y/N." She takes your hand. "More than anything. I’m so sorry for causing all of this, professor. I will never do it again. Punish me only, please.”
“Snape, this is a clear sign of innocent love”, Dumbledore tells the other man.
You flinch. Love?
“I don’t care”, Snape mutters. “They broke the rules.”
“I don’t see any malice in their intentions. They only wanted to be with each other. I will not punish them — this time — but if they do this again, I will give them a week’s long detention in different classes. I can’t punish miss Hedwig all too much, after all, she is Y/N’s tutor. But if you break the rules again, Hedwig, we will find someone else to tutor her, is that clear?”
“Yes, professor”, Hedwig replies. “Thank you for not punishing us. We will make sure to behave.”
“You can go.”
Hedwig tugs on your hand before you leave. Your head is spinning with confusion. Who snitched you out? Did one of the girls do that? They could risk house points and to get in conflict with Hedwig … no they wouldn’t risk any of that. Then who?
“Breaking rules is so not Hufflepuff behavior”, a voice snickers.
You turn to the side, seeing Edmund lean against the wall.
“You spied on us?” you ask.
“Spy?” Edmund wonders and stands up. “I couldn’t care less about the two of you, don’t flatter yourselves. You two are like annoying, loud flies, I can’t ignore you because you’re always in my face.”
“Don’t listen to him”, Hedwig says and pulls on your arm. “Let’s go get some breakfast, Y/N.”
“Careful, Hedwig”, Edmund smirks. “You heard what they said: break one more rule and you lose tutor privileges over Y/N.”
You roll your eyes as the two of you walk alongside each other. Edmund’s words don’t feel good in your stomach and you have an eerie suspicion that he’s going to do something.
You sit out in the grass, reading. While Hedwig is having her defense against dark arts-class you have a free period. Deciding to take your alone time to your benefit, you decide to read up on some things beforehand.
"Where's your little halfblood?" you hear that voice ask.
You look up from your book, seeing Edmund and his two minions grin at you.
"In class", you answer shortly and start to change pages, hoping he gets the hint that you're busy and leaves you alone.
Edmund snatches the book from you. You cut your finger on the paper. With a hiss, you stand up. Edmund laughs as he looks in the book.
"I learned this last year", he chuckles. "You really are a transfer student. Cute."
"Give it to me", you sigh. "I'm not in the mood, I have to learn that."
"You won't learn from the book. We barely used it for this topic."
"Great. I'm doomed."
"I could offer you some tutoring. I got full marks after all."
You frown. "Why would you do that?"
"What can I say? I'm a generous spirit. Besides, I'm bored. Teaching a little mudblood magic could entertain me for a week or two."
"Don't you have class?"
"Not until twelve thirty." Edmund points at the castle wall with the book. "Sit down, mudblood, let's learn."
That 'nickname' makes your stomach turn. After knowing the full definition, you'd rather have Edmund call you something along the lines of a whore — that way you could actually have some clever comebacks. Mudblood, on the other hand, is nothing you can answer to. You sit down slowly. Edmund sits down on your left side and his two minions on your right side. Edmund opens the book and puts his finger to a paragraph.
"See this?" he asks. "This is something you have to learn in case you want to pass. The checklist doesn't contain this, but it will come anyway. So learn it."
You nod.
"Take up your wand", he says. "You have to learn this spell."
You pick up your wand from your pocket. Edmund orders one of his friends to stand in front of you as he holds his hand over yours, showing you how you're supposed to move. His hand is cold. The spell causes his friend's wand to be sent flying. You lay the word Expelliarmus onto your mind.
"This is actually great for dueling", he says. "We had some dueling classes last year, but I guess we'll have this year too. In that case, you'll have to have mastered these spells or you can kiss your ass goodbye."
"You'll end up in the hospital wing", one of Edmund’s friends grins.
"H-Hospital wing?" you say and damn yourself for stuttering.
The three of them chuckles.
"Yes, little girl, hospital wing", Edmund smirks darkly. "Ending up there is never fun. People often scream in pain there. If you end up there you'll never be the same again."
Your wide eyes make Edmund laugh. He presses the book in your arms and stands up.
"Let's make a deal", Edmund says. "Do you know what quidditch is?"
"Hedwig told me on the train", you reply.
"I play. If Slytherin wins the next match, you're going to be my little maid for a full week. You'll do everything I tell you to. And if those ridiculous Gryffindors win, you're free from polishing my shoes."
"I don't get anything either way."
"Don't be greedy, transfer student."
He takes your hand and shakes it before you have time to register.
"Now you can't back out", he smiles proudly.
"Did you enchant-?"
"Yes."
You rip your hand back, snatch your book and start to walk away. You meet up with Hedwig who's walking out of the classroom.
"What's wrong?" she asks quickly, rubbing your shoulder. "You look disturbed."
"Edmund and his friends cornered me outside. He forced me to make a deal with him."
Hedwig goes white. "What type of deal?"
"He plays quidditch and if he wins the next match, I have to be his maid for a week."
"Oh, my God, I hate him." She cups your cheeks. "We'll come up with a way to stop him or break the deal. Worst case scenario, we'll have to ruin for the entire Slytherin team and then we'll be dead, but if we have to then …"
You nod.
"Let's get you something to eat", Hedwig smiles and takes your hand.
She stays with you until your class starts. The second the classroom door closes, her smile drops. She makes her way over to the Slytherin entrance and waits for one to come out.
"What are you doing here?" the Slytherin girl asks.
"I need to speak to Edmund, do you know where he is?" Hedwig asks shortly.
"I'd suppose the quidditch court. He came in laughing and said that he had to train hard this time."
"That son of a- … thank you, for your help."
"No problem."
The Slytherin girl passes her and Hedwig scoffs. The audacity of Edmund …
She makes her way over to the quidditch court, finding him training all alone. He doesn't notice her at first, but when he does a smirk plays on his lips. He flies down to the ground and steps off his broom, holding it close to his body.
"Well, well", he says. "I start to believe that you're obsessed with me the way you're always hanging around. By the way, did you know that there's a rumor going around about you and Y/N? You're not slick, you know. Everyone knows that you're head over heels for her."
"Cut the talk, Edmund. Break the deal with Y/N. She has enough on her plate. I'm not going to let you hurt her."
"You came here to threaten me? Careful now, Hedwig, think about what you're doing."
"I'm not going to let you take her from me."
Edmund takes a step closer. His icy cold blue eyes seem to darken without having to change their light color. "Listen closely, you filthy, little halfblood", he hisses. "If you try to interfere — if you even try as much as to stick your pointy little nose into my business — I'll put you into the hospital wing until I'm done with Y/N. Is that clear?"
Hedwig can't answer. Edmund walks past her, intentionally hitting her shoulder with his.
The day for the match arrives.
"I think that I'm going to throw up", you mutter, taking a hold of the wood railing in front of you.
The two teams are flying above you, tension growing.
"I'm sure he won't win", Hedwig says, but she sounds hesitant.
“Slytherin has the lead!"
"Let's hope that the Gryffindor seeker gets the snitch."
"Did you manage to destroy for Edmund?"
Hedwig shakes her head carefully. You groan and rest your forehead down on the wooden railing. Another score has been made and you don't want to look. Finally, someone has caught the snitch. Slytherin wins. You look up in horror, eyes darting to Edmund. He's looking right at you with a smirk. You're dead.
Already the next morning, Edmund waits for you outside the Ravenclaw entrance. He dumps his heavy books in your hands.
"We're having a class together", he says. "And you are going to carry my books."
You groan and take a better grip on his — and your — books, unsure how you're going to carry them all to the other side of the school.
"Where's your friends?" you ask.
"They're still at breakfast", Edmund replies as you start to walk. "I don't need them now, not when you're carrying my things. Speaking of friends, I don't want you to be with that annoying Hufflepuff during the entire week."
"I'm not going to be your dog."
"Oh, yes, you are — and you're going to bark if I tell you to."
"What am I going to do when you're in class and I'm not, then? Be all alone?"
"Yes, because if I find out that you've been talking to her, I'm going to make you wish you never transferred here, got that?"
You nod. Edmund doesn't say anything more until you reach the classroom. He catches up with his friends who laugh loudly when they see you. Oh, how you wish that you knew any transfiguration spell that could turn you into a mouse.
"Look, she's embarrassed!" one of his friends mock.
Others start to turn to look at you with chuckles. Their stares burn right through you. You want to hide your face in the pile of books in your hands.
"Sit with me", Edmund says and grabs your tie to pull you with him. "You're going to take notes for me."
You sit down in the middle of the classroom. Edmund pushes you to the chair by the wall while he takes the aisle seat, trapping you. You take notes for him while simultaneously trying to ignore that he exists. Surprisingly, you're great at multitasking.
You give him the notes as soon as the class is dismissed. Edmund reads it with a smirk on his face.
"Good job, little girl", he says. "I can actually read them." He folds it and puts it in his pocket. "Now, let's go get some air."
Together with his two friends, you walk out to the courtyard. You can see Hedwig with some of her friends walking from the Herbology classroom. She hugs books close to her body, one being the Herbology book, the other a book about potions. You meet her eyes. She suddenly looks incredibly sad, but tries to give you a small, reassuring smile. You're close to jumping out of your skin when you feel a hand on your shoulder. Turning, you see that Edmund has noticed Hedwig as well. He squeezes your shoulder while keeping eye contact with the girl. Hedwig turns her eyes away and speeds her steps.
Not seeing Hedwig feels like a punishment in itself. Edmund and his friends aren't pleasant, at all — or at least not his friends, Edmund’s not been as bad as you thought. He's toned down on the vulgar nicknames and started small talking when you're walking.
"Stop fucking yawning", Edmund mutters and hits you in the back of your head.
"Why are we up before the sun?" you whine and rub your eyes.
"You're going to watch my quidditch practice."
He drags you out into the cold, autumn air, over to the high wooden pillars of the quidditch court. You're sat down in the Slytherin section and told to sit there until he's done. Edmund disappears to the changing room and comes out in his quidditch uniform. You sit still, watching. You can't quite understand the rules, even if you've already watched a match. You're unsure of what Edmund’s position is or what the flying balls are used for. Every minute grows colder. When the sun has risen, you're as cold as ice. You can no longer feel your fingers or toes.
Edmund flies over to you, now holding his Slytherin scarf and gloves in his hand.
"You're so stupid, why didn't you bring your own scarf?" he mutters while tying his around your cold neck.
"I barely knew who I was when I walked out of the common room", you mumble. "I was so tired. And now I'm cold and hungry."
"You do nothing but complain, do you? Breakfast is in an hour. Think you can hold out until then?"
You nod tiredly.
"Good girl" he says and puts the gloves on your cold hands. "Keep your hands in the gloves and put them in your pockets. You're like a child, unbelievable."
Ironic, coming from a brat like Edmund. You take a deep breath and sink into the seat. When Edmund’s done, he changes into his normal uniform and comes to meet you. You start to take off the scarf, but his hands stop you.
"Leave it on", he says shortly. "Come now."
The second you enter the castle, you feel warmer. You're about to remove the scarf for a second time.
"God, woman, just keep it on, will you?" Edmund mutters and ties it to the point where you choke.
"We're inside now, I don't need it anymore."
"Oh, trust me, you do."
"Why?"
Edmund smirks. "To give your girlfriend a sweet little memory."
"We're not together though."
Edmund furrows his brows and nods, clearly thinking hard.
"Very well", he says. "Winners keeper, I say."
"What?"
"Nothing."
His icy blue eyes sparkle in a new, competitive way, like he's now gotten a new challenge. His hands tie a double knot in the scarf before sending you off to the Ravenclaw table. The others give you weird glances. By now, it's not a secret that you're Edmund’s pet. Although it's only two days left of your week, you're sure that your reputation as his dog will stay with you throughout your entire schooling.
You look around, noticing Hedwig sitting by the Hufflepuff table. She looks at you with something you can't describe in her eyes, something dark. She holds something in her hand. You can just make out the outline of a small, pink bottle. She gives you a small, sad smile. All you want is to go over and hug her, but you remember Edmund’s warning. You have a class together after breakfast however, he can’t forbid you from going to it.
Your plate is already set out with a glass full of pumpkin juice. Devouring it would be an understatement — especially after the morning you’ve had. You're happy no one is taking a picture.
The day continues normally after Edmund’s rude awakening. You can meet up with Hedwig in Herbology class, and oh, how happy you're to see her. You hug her tightly, earning a mirroring squeeze back. She buries her head into your hair.
"I've missed you so much", she coos, hugging you tightly. “So, so much.”
You breathe her in, mind getting fogged up with her scent. Oh, how you want nothing more than to ditch Edmund and be with her. Hedwig doesn't seem to mind how you cling onto her and you’re surprised yourself with how much you want to hold onto her. She strokes your hair with a smile. Being back with Hedwig — despite Edmund's warnings — feels like absolute paradise. The few days spent apart has made you see her in a completely new light. You’ve forgotten how pretty she is.
"I can't watch that anymore", she sighs and starts to remove the Slytherin scarf from your neck. "Where is your scarf, dearest?"
"In my dormitory", you answer sheepishly.
Hedwig gives you a motherly stern gaze before taking off her Hufflepuff scarf and tying it around your neck. It smells just like her.
"That's better", Hedwig smiles. "Don't you think so?"
You nod. Much, much better. The teacher interrupts your talk with demands of the two of you working. You don't mind, because you work with Hedwig who knows exactly what to do.
"Would you like to read on the break?" Hedwig asks you.
You nod, not even thinking about Edmund’s threats. You follow her out to the yard, sitting on one of the brick walls with her. You lay down with her head in her lap while she reads aloud for you. You can't focus on the words, only how they're formed through Hedwig's pink lips. You want to feel them on yours. Before you have time to think, you reach up to kiss her. Her lips melt into yours instantly.Hedwig lets go of her book and cups her cheeks to kiss back. Fuck Edmund, you think. You pull Hedwig closer, wanting to be filled with her and her only. Everything about her is soft, even her kisses. They're filled with love and taste like strawberry.
"What the fuck are you doing?" the voice you've just damned says angrily. "I warned you, mudblood, didn't I?"
He rips you from Hedwig, up on your feet. Edmund glances from Hedwig to you, and back. He halts and grabs a hold of your face, opening your eyes with his thumbs.
"You sneaky bitch!" he gasps. "You've given her a love potion!"
"I have not", Hedwig replies defensively.
"Really? Then why are her pupils heart shaped?"
Hedwig doesn't answer. Edmund grabs a hold of your arms.
"If you excuse me, I'm going to go shove my fingers down her throat to get it out of her", he says coldly.
"You are not!" Hedwig screeches and rips you back.
"Then you'll get it out of her. I don’t care how, but Y/N is going to puke that love potion out before the break is over. Y/N is still mine, remember? I have two more days to do whatever I want with her."
Hedwig groans. Edmund, you, Hedwig and Edmund’s two friends make your way to the girls bathroom. The boys wait outside while Hedwig takes you into the bathroom stalls. She helps you throw up the love potion, holding your hair in her hands.
“And there goes my well earned breakfast …”, you sigh groggily and get up from your knees.
“I’m sorry, Y/N”, Hedwig whispers guiltily with tears in her eyes. “I didn’t want to trick you or anything, please don’t believe that. I-I just … I was scared that Edmund had manipulated you. I had to make sure that you knew that … he wasn’t good.”
You sigh and nod heavily. “I understand, but I had wished that you hadn’t given to me without my knowledge.”
“I’m really, really sorry. Can you please forgive me?”
The tears fall down her cheeks. You can’t be mad at her, not after every nice thing she’s done to you. You can see how bad she feels. You’re sure that she won’t do it again.
“Of course”, you say. “I’m just grateful that you didn’t make a potion that did something bad. It wasn’t the potion itself that was bad, it was the way you did it.”
“I understand. I’ll never do it again, I promise! I will never, ever do anything like that again!” She takes your hands and sniffles. “I don’t want to lose you as a friend. I-I do like you more than a friend … but I will not let that come between our friendship. Please don’t leave me. I can lose every single friend I have … but not you. Oh, God, not you.”
You can hear Edmund bang on the door to the girls bathroom impatiently and you sigh.
“I can’t spend time with you right now”, you say. “Edmund’s right — unfortunately — I have two more days in his captivity. If not, he’s promised to ruin my life. I don’t want to take that risk, I’ve had enough problems.” You squeeze her hands. “It’s just two more days.”
Hedwig sniffles and nods. “Okay.”
You give her a small smile before going back to Edmund. He tells his friends to take you further down in the corridor while he talks with Hedwig. She wipes her tears and glares at him.
“Silly girl”, Edmund scoffs. “You’re not that bright, are you?”
“I don’t know what you want Y/N, but at least I didn’t do anything to cause her harm, like you do”, Hedwig answers sharply. “I did something that would benefit her.”
“Yeah, keep telling yourself that. Y/N belongs to me now and if you don’t want to get hurt, Hedwig, stay out of my way, got it? I’m warning you. If I were you, I’d listen.”
Hedwig takes a step closer. “I’m not going to let anybody take her from me.”
Edmund’s eyebrow twitches. “Alright then. Suit yourself.”
With that said, he walks towards his friends and you, leaving Hedwig behind. He rips of the Hufflepuff scarf.
“Get that ugly thing off of your neck”, he mutters and drags you with him. “Can’t even leave you alone for five minutes! Can’t fucking believe that little filth. If Hedwig gets to play dirty, then I do too.” He stops to wipe of your lips. “If you ever kiss her again, I’ll kill her.”
You try push his arm off of you, but instead, it tightens and he gives you a stern look.
“I should just do it …”, he mutters.
“Do what?”
He gives your lips a quick peck. You stand as frozen, looking up at him in shock. Edmund rests his hand on your cheek.
“Never kiss her again.”
#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere imagines#yandere drabbles#yandere oc x you#yandere fics#yandere mafia#yandere oc x reader#yandere stories#yandere harry potter au#yandere hogwarts#yandere witch#yandere wizard#female yandere#female reader
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A Very Late Road Trip AU Update
Art by @toonzxy
Hello everyone! Yes, it's been quite a while since @toonzxy, @joyfuladorable, and I have posted anything about this AU, but I promise the story is still in the works! To keep you all in the loop, we decided to make a sort of update post for the progress of the story.
Read to the end for a little teaser!
Okay, so, Book 1 is currently at 51k words. I promise I am writing it as quickly as I possibly can, but I had a pretty busy summer and am currently in my senior year of university, so it's safe to say that I don't have too much free time on my hands at the moment. I know we said we'd try to start posting it by July/August, but as of now, I don't think this book will be finished before the end of the year. Once we finish writing it, we still have to go through the entire process of editing the thing, which is a pretty daunting task. At the rate the story is going, Book 1 will probably end up being at least 100k words long.
In other news, toonzy and joyfuladorable are currently in the works of a comic! You all clearly enjoyed the comics released earlier this year, so they've decided to create a comic that will run alongside the fic but will have its own minor changes to the story. It won't be too different, but it'll be just different enough for it to stay entertaining if you want to read them both.
Most of our time has been dedicated to world building, which, admittedly, is taking a lot more time than we thought it would. It's also been a lot of rewriting previous plot points so that the continuity makes sense overall. All three of us REALLY hate plot holes, so there's been quite a bit of compromising on all fronts. All in all, it's been a lot of work for three people who not only have normal adult lives, but also have other projects on our hands that keep grabbing our attention. This has been our top priority though, I promise.
Okay, that's enough of that. You guys wanted some teasers? Here you go:
via @toonzxy
There you go. Two comic panels, the titles for the first four chapters (mostly) and a very random very mature name of a place in Idaho that one of us stumbled upon. Do with that what you will.
Alright, that's all from me! Hopefully, the next update won't be as long of a wait as this one, but I won't make any promises.
Hasta luego true believers
-DP
#tmnt 2003#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt#fanfic#tmnt roadtrip au#fan comic#tmnt sainw#tmnt 2k3#same as it never was#tmnt donatello#tmnt leonardo#tmnt raphael#tmnt michelangelo
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An Easy Prize to Win
Yang: Hey, Jaune, I’ve been asking everyone this question, guess whose turn it is~?
Jaune: Mine?
Yang: Yes it is!
Jaune: Haa… okay, what is this question of yours?
Yang: Everyone in, Atlas goes into hiding for the largest game of hide, and go seek! Where the winner wins one billion Lien! So, where do you hide?
Jaune: You’ve asked everyone this question?
Yang: Yeah, I’ve received some crazy answers.
Jaune: Such as?
Weiss: I said I would float in the sky on one of my glyphs.
Jaune: Clever.
Penny: I was going to do the same with my jet boots. Should I devise a different hiding spot?
Jaune: You both probably should.
Penny: Oh dear.
Blake: I would hide in a box, with my books.
Jaune: That seems stereotypical for a cat faunas.
Blake: Hey?!
Ren: I was simply going to meditate in a tree, and wait for it to all blow over.
Jaune: Simple, sounds just like you.
Ruby: I was going to bury myself under a pile of cookies so no one would find me!
Jaune: I take it, Nora’s idea was on a similar vein, but with pancakes?
Nora: What?! How did you know, my plan was foolproof!
Jaune: Not, really. It sounds like something you both would do. But, that aside it wouldn’t work.
NR: How so?
Jaune: You’d both eat your cover.
NR: …
Ruby: Yeah… I would eat my cover…
Nora: Me too… And, I would not regret it!
Jaune: And what about you, Yang?
Yang: I would hide down in one of the ‘secret vaults.’ But, I think, Ironwood would also be there, and would catch me hiding…
Oscar: Crap, that was my plan too.
Jaune: Well, it’s a clever idea nonetheless.
Yang: Enough about us, where would you hide?
Jaune: At my birthday party.
Yang: Pfft! What?! Seriously, what makes you think no one would find you at a birthday party, let alone your own birthday party?
Jaune: Because it was my birthday yesterday, and no one showed up.
Winter: What?! But, I sent out all those invitations to make sure people would come! Did none of you show up?!
Ruby: There was a party?
Nora: It was, Jaune’s birthday?!
Ren: Oh no…
Yang: W-What?! How come you didn’t tell us?!
Jaune: You missed the last two, when I told you. What difference does one more matter?
Yang: We didn't miss your birthday! R-Right guys?
Blake: Uhh…?
Oscar: We did my birthday…
Weiss: Why didn’t we get any invitations?!
Winter: I don’t know?! Penny: Did you get an invitation?
Penny: I did not.
Winter: What?! But, I sent you all an invitation two weeks ago for his surprise birthday party?! How come no one, but, Jaune got an invitation?!
Weiss: How come you didn't show up? You planned this whole thing!
Winter: Father was trying to us my position to his advantage in political dealings again, I had to put a stop to it before anything happened.
Ruby: So... Jaune had a surprise birthday party... where he was the only one that was invited...
Nora: Oh gods...
Jaune: There's still cake if you want some, I didn't have any.
Winter: What? Why didn't you have any?
Jaune: I wasn't in the mood for cake after having that 'surprise birthday party,' Besides, it was coconut. I hate coconuts.
Winter: Ohhh... fuck...
Jaune: I told you it was pointless to tell anyone...
Pyrrha: I'm sorry!
Jaune: Haa... don't be... Besides, no one likes to go to a birthday party they're not friends with...
RWBYONRPW: ...
Winter: I don't suppose you guys can think of anything that might fix this?
Yang: If we did, we would have already done it.
Winter: Well... shit...
///
Consider this part of the, Friends AU
#rwby#jaune arc#yang xiao long#blake belladonna#weiss schnee#ruby rose#pyrrha nikos#nora valkyrie#lie ren#oscar pine#winter schnee#penny polendina#friends au
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Maniac (1)
Pairing: Hyunjin x Reader x Minho
Genre: Mafia au
Warning: Sexually Explict Talk [18+ ONLY MINORS DO NOT READ.]
Word Count: 2k
“Y/N.” Your father calls from his office. “Come here.”
Without attitude, and promptly, you quickly leave the book you were reading at the kitchen counter and head down the hall to your fathers office.
“Yes, father?” You say, walking into his office right away.
“Do you have plans tonight?” He asks, never looking up at you. He remains concentrated on his paperwork.
“Ah, no, I don't believe I do.” You answer. “Why?” You wonder.
“You're escorting Mr. Hwang Hyunjin out tonight. His father and I are in talks about marrying the two of you. So spend some time with him and please, put in some effort.” He says. “ I'd like this wedding to go forward.” He says with a sigh.
You were the only daughter he had to marry off. Every other leader in this world had sons, so unfortunately your three older brothers were quite useless to him when it came to merging families.
You had known since you were young what your role in this family was. You knew who your father was, and what he was. You'd been around guns and violence since you could remember, and it's been instilled in you from a young age, when your father asks you to do something, you do it. Without hesitation and without talking back. Your fate has always been signed, sealed and delivered, the only question was to who. Your father currently was in talks with a few other leaders, but it seems the Hwang's have made a significant enough move to have you meet their son.
“Yes father. I'll go get ready now.” You smile, leaving the room and heading up to your own room. You sit in front of your mirror, slowly doing your makeup, trying to make sure everything is perfectly even and sharp. You wanted to make a good first impression. It was important to your father so it was important to you as well.
“Y/N. He's here. Hurry up please.” Your father yells from downstairs. You smooth out the dress you had slipped on as you quickly put on your shoes and grabbed your bag. Nerves flowed through your body as you walked out of your room and down the stairs. As you come into view, you see a black haired beauty standing with your father. His dark eyes, sharp jawline and kissable lips were the first things you noticed. Your breath hitches as you get to the last step. You didn't know this man and here you were a fucking disaster.
“Hwang Hyunjin, this is my daughter, L/N Y/N.” Your father says, motioning between the two of you.
“It's nice to meet you.” You smile. Hyunjin looks you up and down, smirking as he grabs your hand, placing a gentle kiss before letting it go.
“Likewise.” Hyunjin says. He turns to look at your father. “I'll make sure she's safe, sir.” Hyunjin says, shaking your fathers hand. The two of you leave the house, heading out to the car that was waiting for you both. He opens the back seat door for you, closing it once you are in before he walks to the other side. He slides in beside you, leaning forward to speak to his driver.
“The club, please.” Hyunjin tells him, leaning back against the seat. “So, Y/N. Marriage, hey?” He says.
“It looks like that.” You say, looking out the window.
“Do you want to marry me?” He asks you.
“I've known since I was little I'd be marrying whoever he picks for me, so it's not some big shock to me.” You explain.
“So you don't have some secret boyfriend you run out to see late at night?” He asks.
“I've never had a boyfriend.” You say, shrugging your shoulders.
“But you've fucked?” He asks.
You shake your head no.
His jaw drops.
“Kissed? You've had to at least have had someone slide their tongue into your mouth.” He chuckles.
Again you shake your head no. His jaw drops even further.
“How?” He gasps. “How can you have never done anything? So you don't know how it feels to have your pussy eaten, how it feels to cum with a cock buried deep inside you?”
You sigh loudly. “I never experienced any of it. Not that I haven't wanted to. But my father has always told me that my future husband won't want someone who sleeps around. Even living this lifestyle, the men want their women pure. So I have just avoided it. Not that I haven't had the opportunity.” You chuckle.
“I can imagine you've had a lot of opportunities, I mean look at you.” He whispers, leaning in closely to you. “This makes me want to do very bad things to you.” He smiles.
You get tingles all through your body as he stares at you, your heart thumping harshly in your chest. You lick your lips as you look down at his. Fuck you wanted to just do it. But you couldn't, it wasn't a guarantee that you were going to marry Hyunjin. There were other families throwing their sons in the ring, and you needed to remain pure for whoever you were going to marry.
Once the two of you pull up to the club, Hyunjin opens the door for you, taking your hand, leading you into the club behind you. The bouncer waves the two of you through, causing groans from the hundreds of people waiting in line to get in. As soon as the two of you walk in, you're hit with the smell of sweat, body odor and liquor. Hyunjin leads you past the bar, past the dance floor, the drunk people making out in the hallway, and you a private set of stairs to an area that clearly not many people are allowed into.
“Ah, a few of my friends are here.” He says, motioning to the table of rowdy boys.
“Gentlemen.” Hyunjin says as the two of you walk over to the table. “This is my future wife, L/N Y/N.” He announces, pulling you beside him. The seven men stop and stare at you, a few of them smiling.
“Hi, Y/N. I'm Seo Changbin, it's nice to meet you.” He says, giving you a small wave. You wave back to him, saying hello to the others.
“I'm Kim Seungmin, very nice to meet you.” Another one says.
Why were they all so fucking hot? Christ.
“That's the L/N Y/N?” One asks. “From the L/N family?”
“The one and only.” Hyunjin says.
“Well, it's a pleasure, Y/N. I just heard tonight that my father has offered quite a bit to your father for us to get married.” The man chuckles. “I'm Lee Know, but you can call me Minho.”
“Oh.” You chuckle. “I wasn't aware of that.”
“It wasn't long ago, so I'm sure your father will be speaking with you later.” Minho smiles, glancing at Hyunjin. “Be good to my future wife tonight.” He says. “Don't do anything you're gonna regret, Hwang.” He finishes, taking a sip of his drink.
“I'll do what I want, Minho. Gentlemen, Enjoy your evening.” He half smiles, grabbing your hand to pull you somewhere a little more private.
“Would you like a drink?” He asks. You nod your head, ordering your favorite cocktail, while you and Hyunjin sit at a little table, huddled away in the corner.
“So.” He begins, taking a sip of his drink. “Looks like I am going to have some competition.” He breathes, leaning into you.
“It looks like it.” You smile.
“You know.. I could just show you why it should be me..” he pauses.
“You know I can't do that.” You whisper, pressing your knees together to try and soothe the throbbing of your clit. Fuck, just because you hadn't had sex before, didn't mean you had no idea what being horny was. You've been horny for years and have almost caved multiple times, but Hyunjin, he was making it harder to say no then it ever has been before.
“I could make you feel so fucking good.” He groans, leaning in even closer, his lips hovering just inches away from yours. You wanted to break the space, you wanted his tongue in your mouth, his fingers, his mouth, his cock inside you. You fucking wanted it all, but if what Lee Know said was true, there was a chance you weren't marrying Hyunjin, and you couldn't do anything if you weren't sure.
“I bet you could.” You smile, turning away to grab your drink, chugging it back. Hyunjin sighs as he sits back in his seat, sipping slowly on his scotch.
“The fact that you're so fucking pure and won't give in is so fucking hot.” Hyunjin groans.
You're about to say something when your phone rings, you check it, seeing your father calling.
“Hi father.” You say, answering.
“Y/N, how has your time been with Hyunjin?” He asks.
“It's been good, daddy.” You say.
“Ah good. Can you please ask him to bring you home, there's something we need to discuss.” He says, hanging up the phone.
“He wants you to bring me home. He says he and I need to talk.” You say, slipping your phone back into your purse.
Hyunjin nods his head, quickly finishing off his drink before he takes your hand, leading you past the men you previously met. You look back, your eyes catching Minho’s and you see him send a small wink towards you, which makes your stomach flutter.
When the two of you are in the car, Hyunjin holds out his hand, asking for your phone. You hand it over to him unlocked and watch as he types his number into it. “Call me, anytime, for anything.” He finishes, handing your phone back to you as his driver pulls up to your house. He takes his finger, putting it under your chin, pulling you close to him. “until next time, darling.” He whispers, his driver opening your door for you. You smile at him, slipping out of the car and heading inside your house.
“Daddy?” You call out. “I'm home.”
“My office, Y/N.” He yells back. You should have known.
“How was it?” He asks.
“It was good. He's very sweet.” You smile.
“Mhm.. well tomorrow you're going out with Lee Know.” He announces.
“I met him tonight.” You say.
“Did you? Huh, his father.. he has a lot of good ideas for how far we can take this merger. I hope it goes well tomorrow. We'll be making a decision soon.” Your father says, putting his glasses back on as he goes back to his paperwork. It was never ending.
“Good night.” You say, walking out of his office.
“Good night, honey.” He mutters. You walk to the living room, seeing your two friends, but also bodyguards sitting there watching a show.
“You guys weren't there tonight.” You announce, sitting between the two. “You always come when I go out.”
“Nah, your dad said you'd be safe with Hyunjin.” Wonho smiles.
“Who I've heard he is fucking crazy protective over things. And especially over women. But that's just the whispers on the street.” Shownu chimes in.
“Have you ever met him before?” You ask, laughing. Shownu shakes his head no. “Then don’t be making comments about people you know nothing about.” You laugh. Are you coming tomorrow?” You ask.
“What's tomorrow?” Wonho asks as you stand up, walking towards the stairs. “Are you going out with Hyunjin again?” He asks.
“No, tomorrow is Lee Know. His father made a..bid I guess, tonight.” You say. They both stay silent, as they nod their heads. They looked like they were keeping a secret from you, but you'd be able to get it out of them eventually.
You head up stairs to your room, getting ready and changing for bed. You'd met Hyunjin and Lee Know only once so far, and though you may not know much about them yet, you were already having a hard time choosing. That night you fell asleep dreaming of how Hyunjin made you feel, and wondering if Minho was going to make you feel the same way.
#straykidsland#hwang hyunjin#hyunjin#lee know#minho#skz#stray kids#skz mafia#stray kids mafia#skz smut#stray kids smut#skz imagines#stray kids imagines#skz hyunjin#skz lee know#kpop fanfic#kpop writing#kpop scenarios#kpop imagines#kpop smut
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jake in the pirate au has a better memory for who elected him leader than jake in canon lmao
I am FASCINATED by that line in #50 where Jake says "You know why I was in charge in the first place, Cassie? Because once upon a time, a long time ago, Marco said I was.” [emphasis added] Okay, yes, Doylisticly it's probably a continuity error. Tobias declaring Jake the leader was 49 books ago and all.
But in-universe, it says something about how much the team dynamics have shifted by that point in the series. Tobias hasn't believed in Jake The Hero since the first book. He's the first to question Jake's decisions (e.g. #11, #16) and calls Jake out for excluding Cassie more than anyone else in #51 - 53. He knows and resents the fact that Jake "worries about [him] more than anyone" (#22) hates having to rely on Jake (#3), repeatedly sides with Toby against Jake (#23, #34, #47), and hates Jake's habit of putting their friends in danger (#11, #26, #33, etc). Tobias and Jake are also in a uniquely awkward position at that point: "We'd almost traded places. Tobias the orphan suddenly had a mother. Jake, the poster boy for the all-American nuclear family, was alone. Living in somebody else's house, the way I'd always had to" (#49).
Marco, on the other hand, has never been more pro-Jake. Marco has, by his own standards, already won the war: "my mom was back. Happy she and my dad were still nauseatingly in love... I practically had to tie myself to a tree to keep from running up and down the valley, arms spread wide, belting out show tunes" (#51). He's utterly confident that "Jake knows these things," that "Jake's our general" that Jake will win them the war (#51). NOBODY ELSE (except maybe Eva) still thinks this about Jake as of #51, least of all Jake himself. But Marco (and Eva) got those rose-colored glasses because Jake already pulled off killing Visser One.
Which is an interesting reversal from #1, where Tobias insists "you're the leader, Jake" and Marco laughs in Jake's face when he tries to lead, saying "This is reality. You don't know anything about reality, Jake. Nothing bad has ever really happened to you" (#1). How things change, over 3 years and a few hundred hopeless battles.
#animorphs#animorphs spoilers#jake berenson#tobias fangor#marco animorphs#the ultimate#like (being doylist for a second) i wonder if it was a deliberate decision to have jake refer to marco instead of tobias in that line#not because the authors forgot but because it'd be so bizarre for the tobias we meet in 50 to endorse jake while the marco in 50 doesn't#so like#maybe the authors deliberately had jake misremember who made him leader#to avoid confusing any readers who hadn't read 1 and/or didn't remember it that well#and/or to acknowledge that - as of 50 - it's marco more than anyone supporting (mindguarding?) jake's leadership
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— ˚₊‧⁺˖ THE WORDSMITH.
fandom. formula one
pairing. charles leclerc x author fem!reader (fc: none)
about. bestseller author genevieve dedicates her newest book to a special person. the internet tries to find out who it is
content warnings. social media au, not edited/proofread
notes. who doesn't dream about being a world famous author?
GENEVIEVE_UPDATES
liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc and 10'883 others
genevieve_updates The dedication in the newest Bestseller 'When We Were Wallflowers', by @/genevieve. For the first time in her career she mentiones a partner, calling him 'my love' and surprisingly also 'mon coeur'. Who could her beau be?
user NO MOTHER IS NO LONGER SINGLE
⤷ user my life is officially over...
user HE'S THE REASON WHY WE HAVE THE BEST ROMANCE BOOK OF THE DECADE THANK YOU DAD
⤷ user parents fr 🙏🙏🙏
user "our story now forever immortal and never forgotten" AND WHAT IF I CRY
user don't know if i should cry tears from sadness that mom is taken or happiness that mom is taken
⤷ user at least he makes her happy (delulu)
⤷ user you're so right, tears of happiness then
user THE F1 X GENEVIEVE CROSSOVER IS HAPPENING??
⤷ user SO I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO NOTICED PIERRE IN THE LIKES
⤷ user charles as well???
⤷ user hello wtf is happening SINCE WHEN DO THEY READ??
user "YOUR WORDSMITH"???? am i the only one loosing my mind over this
⤷ user no. i just haven't recovered yet
GENEVIEVE
liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc, haileybieber and 503'002 others
genevieve My summer was filled with flowers and love, so much love. It has given me enough inspiration to write yet another romance book, even if I promised to return to my beloved fantasy. Yet when the heart calls... who am I to refuse? 'Reverie, Lost in your Love' will be published in November '24!
user HOLY SHIT WE'RE GETTING FED FR
user SHE NAMED HER NEW BOOK REVERIE I CAN NOT
⤷ user reverie: a state of being pleasantly lost in your thoughts, almost dreaming
⤷ user mom is big brained fr "lost in your love"? yes, yes i will be
haileybieber I will be (im)patiently waiting, as always 💗
⤷ genevieve And I will be sending you the first draft, as always
⤷ user their friendship is so dear to me 🥹🥹
⤷ user icons supporting icons i fear
⤷ user auntie hailey better drop some spoilers!!!
zendaya We're getting another romance by our queen! Rejoice!!
�� user DAYA IS LIKE US FR
⤷ user WEWOOO SHE READS GENEVIEVE
user i just know the cover will be serving cunt (in the most beautiful flowers)
user REVERIE REVERIE REVERIE
user only four months left... only four months left......
pierregasly super liked by pierre gasly
⤷ user why is he so unserious 😭
⤷ user "super liked" goddamn we're finally reaching the part where he will rate posts he likes
CHARLES_LECLERC
liked by pierregasly, andferrari007, arthur_leclerc and 1'032'883 others
charles_leclerc Nothing better than summer, sun, beach and a good book in my hands. And of course good company 😉
user the tan 🫠🫠
user IS THAT A GENEVIEVE BOOK??
⤷ user oh my god you're right
⤷ user and it's one of her fantasy ones, from her fae series 👀
⤷ user charles has taste
user first he's in her likes and now he's reading her books... how do we tell him
⤷ user hear me out, genevieve and charles *gets shot*
⤷ user KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT, MOM DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER THAN HIM
⤷ user i trust in mom and i trust that she wouldn't fall for a vroom vroom man
pierregasly you already finished the other books?
⤷ charles_leclerc Breezed through them 😆
⤷ arthur_leclerc He's waiting for November
⤷ pierregasly aren't we all?
user the filter is back..
⤷ user the filter never left
GENEVIEVE
liked by charles_leclerc, zendaya, gigihadid and 3'029'746 others
genevieve "J'adore ton sourire, ma belle." I remember hearing these words for the first time, I remember his own smile he gave me back then, and I just knew, I love him. Thank you, Charlie, mon coeur, for standing by my side, for being my inspiration, my defender against the cursed writer's block. Your passion inspires me to write even more, so I'm proud to announce once again, another romance book. 'Winterbliss and Midnightkiss' will be available in March '25.
charles_leclerc Tu es incroyable, ma belle ❤️
⤷ genevieve Right back at you, my champion
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Oracle!Reader Part 23
Masterlist - Part 1, Part 22, Part 24
Warning! This is a SAGAU imposter au so this is pretty gory and not happy all the time. Plus yandere but that's the expected for SAGAU.
Xingqiu and Chongyun both showed muddled emotions at your words of leaving Liyue.
“That may be best for you…” Chongyun says first as he keeps his gaze on the floorboards.
“Yes, I agree. Although I never expected that you would have to leave Liyue so soon, it's clear that you aren't safe here.”
Xingqiu’s words that were full of understanding still had disappointment sprinkled in.
“We can't do much to help you when it comes to Ningguang, but Mondstadt is a different story. Do you have the talisman on you right now?”
Chongyun takes a few steps closer as you lift the amulet for him to see. He rubs one finger on it, examining the symbol that appears at the action.
“It's still at full charge, good. The road to Mondstadt can either be empty or full of demons depending on the day. But once you get to Wangshu Inn, it becomes much safer.”
“Because of Xiao, right? Despite how the situation looked when I first met the Adepti, I'm on relatively good terms with them now.”
It was a bit risky telling them this, but they both deserved to know at this point.
“When are you planning on leaving? Is your meeting with Ningguang today?” Switching the topic, Xingqiu brings the focus back to the most pressing issue.
Nodding, you answer. “My meeting is with her today, but I'll probably have to leave either at midnight or early tomorrow morning. The sooner, the better.”
“Then I can offer you some help that should make staying in Mondstadt a bit easier.” Xingqiu grins as he takes out paper and some ink. “I happen to know someone-”
“Albedo, right?” Cutting off Xingqiu as you think back to his connection, you continue. “Together you made the book, uh what was the name again? A Legend of a Sword? It got pretty popular in Inazuma. I remember there was a whole festival on light novels that you both attended too.”
Once you stop, you notice Xingqiu squinting his eyes at you before replying. “That's really creepy, you know? If I didn't know you were the Oracle, then I would have believed you to be some stalker.”
“If I was, then I wouldn't be stalking you of all people.” You snapped back as he grins while shaking his head.
“But yes, I'll send Albedo a letter in advance so that he can arrange for you to be settled nicely over there. I won't mention the Oracle situation as the Creator didn't want you to be known widely like that.”
It's been so long since you last heard the title ‘Creator’ be mentioned despite the fact that all of your problems come from their supposed existence.
Only goes to show just how ingrained the Creator is in this world.
“Thanks Xingqiu. Albedo is the chief alchemist and well respected among the community, so I should be in safe hands.”
Xingqiu merely hums in response as Chongyun tugs the amulet closer to him.
“Just trying to apply a better talisman on it.” He mumbles in accordance with your stare as he settles himself closer to you.
He's basically pressed against your side, but you strangely don't feel uncomfortable to have him close.
As the pair focus on their own activities, your mind wanders off to Albedo.
Albedo, the chief alchemist and homunculus created by Gold, the famous Khaenri'an scientist. Khaenri'ah, which also held so much information that could be connected to Celestia…
It was a long shot, but you could try digging for information about Celestia from him. The deal that Celestia made with Teyvat still bothers you to no end. With the age of this deal unknown, you might even have to look into the primordial dragons if it's even older than the Archon war.
A light shining brought you back to the present and your eyes flickered down to where the amulet shined in Chongyun’s hands.
Once it died down to reveal a more intricate symbol than before, Chongyun nodded, satisfied with the final product.
“This one is a lot stronger and should last longer now. I know you can fight well, but the demonic energy in Bishui Plain and Qiongji Estuary has shown to rise around this time of the year.”
Carefully taking the amulet from him, you thumbed the symbol with curious eyes. “I get it, thank you. Does it activate on its own, or do I have to activate it with something?”
“It'll work on its own. Depending on the amount and degree of demonic energy around it, the workings will change.”
Motioning with his hands, Chongyun’s calm voice explains the working to you. At the end of the rather lengthy explanation, you nod and condense the information in your mind.
“And now that Instructor Chongyun is done teaching you, I'm happy to say that I'm done with the letter. Have been for a while, but I saw no need to interrupt the oh so fascinating lecture.”
Raising the letter, Xingqiu lazily waved it as Chongyun bristled but ultimately said nothing.
“I can send this once I get home. Unfortunately, neither me nor Chongyun will be available to accompany you through your journey.”
Xingqiu tsk’d at his own words while Chongyun turned his head away, visibly sulking.
“My family was just hired to check out Wuwang Hill and my attendance for this is mandatory. Xingqiu’s father is forcing him to stay and attend meetings with his brother for the week as well.”
All you could do was smile sadly in response.
Before long they were both forced to leave by Baizhu who insisted on total privacy for the reviewing of your medication and discharge.
Watching them climb down the stairs from the window in your room, you listen absentmindedly to Baizhu.
Changsheng still refused to see you. Something Tevyat was clearly displeased with, as the once sunny weather quickly turned cloudy. The cold-blooded creature must be huffing in annoyance by now.
“And this is the overview of medication and supplements to take, with the doses and dates to take them.”
Casually looking over the paper received from the shady snake bastard, you hummed for a moment before stuffing it into your bag.
“All of it is paid for by your special benefactor. And the drug you requested has already been paid with by your body, as we both know.”
‘Must he phrase it like that?’ You internally questioned as you snatch the medication and shove it into your bag.
“I'm glad for it. Maybe even more so if she didn't pin so many babysitters onto me.”
At your grumble, Baizhu’s smile wavered at the edges. Either he truly hadn't known why there was extra ‘security’ or he was a great liar. You suspect it's a bit of both.
“Then if everything has been covered, I’m happy to say that you're officially discharged as of-” He merely glanced at the sun still high in the sky before finishing. “1300. I sincerely hope that the next time we meet you'll be in a better physical state.”
“And I sincerely wish we never have to meet again.” The words you utter are full of sarcasm, something Baizhu simply chuckles at.
“Now what could I have possibly done to deserve your ire, dear Oracle?”
“It's what you haven't done. A little heads up about all the guards would have been nice.”
“Oh, but I did!” His smile seems a little sharper as he leans toward you, his glasses sliding down to the bridge of his nose. “Didn't I let you know early on that there were quite a lot of guards?”
With an annoyed scoff, you snap back. “You said it was due to the two temples nearby, not cause Ningguang wanted to keep an eye on me.”
Raising his hands with wide eyes, Baizhu tried to placate you. “I'm not part of the Millelith, how on earth could a physician like me know the true reasoning?”
Holding his gaze, you tried to discern what he was truly thinking at this moment. Malice? Amusement? Mocking kindness?
But at that moment, all you could see was genuine surprise in his eyes. It only served to confuse you further.
Was Baizhu truly innocent in this? Your instincts in situations like these were usually correct. Besides, what would Baizhu even gain from deceiving you?
Still, that didn't explain why Baizhu was always so damn shady, but maybe you should chalk it up to an unfortunate side effect of being contracted with a snake.
“Well, then let me reiterate my earlier words. While I still hope we won't have to meet again. I do wish for us to want to meet again.”
Baizhu lowers his arms while fixing his glasses to laugh, the sound is surprisingly tender. “And how do you expect me to tell when that would be? I’m no mind reader.”
Standing up, you stay silent as you slip your bag over your shoulders and move past him. The door opens with a creak as you tilt your head slightly to meet his eyes.
“To put it simply, I’ll want to see you when you discover whatever is hidden in my culture sample.”
The door clicks shut as you leave Bubu’s Pharmacy for good.
----------------------------
After a brief but firm pat to Qiqi’s head, you walk down the stairs casually. The slight rustling of the leaves, the fabric of curtains drawn, and the quieting of chatter are all brought to your attention.
Ningguang’s spies and the Millelith guards are all watching you like rabid dogs, waiting for you to slip up and give them an excuse to arrest you right now.
Smiling without hesitation, you get to the last step and pretend that the forced conversations around you aren't scripted, and that the eyes locked on you are of a curious bystander and not the ones of detectives.
Bringing your attention back to the list you have clenched in your hand, you read the first errand on the list.
Return books to library.
Easy enough, and it's even easier when people seem to automatically avoid being in your path.
Is this what a day in Xinyan's life feels like? It's honestly not that bad.
At least you thought so until you got to the counter and waited for the receptionist to return.
Five minutes pass. Then ten minutes, which quickly turn into fifteen in a blink of an eye. You can feel your mood worsening.
Deciding to test something, you walk away from the library and turn the corner. Peeking around the corner, you watch as the ‘customer’ that was standing in the corner all those minutes gets to the counter. Almost immediately, a swarm of people return to it.
Sighing heavily, you ignore the weight of suspicious stares and turn the corner back into the library. Getting back into line feels humiliating, but it's just a quick errand, you tell yourself.
No one moves out of the way, but the quick glances they send you make them pale with each minute.
Not a soul dares to stand behind you.
It's finally your turn, and you place your books on the table with the last bit of patience you had. She doesn't meet your eyes and mumbles something.
“I'm sorry, what did you say?” Leaning closer, you try to catch her words, only for her to yell.
“It's lunchtime now so I can't accept any more returns or purchases. H-Have a good-d da-ay!”
Flabbergasted at the sheer audacity, you watch her flip a sign on the table and flee the area.
“Fuck this shit.” Colorful curses leave you as you drop all the books haphazardly on the table and storm away.
Crossing it off the list, you follow the main path to the next errand.
Collect reward from Guild
That commission should have given you one hell of a paycheck the last time you checked. Primogems may be worthless now, but you could use the Mora the commission provides.
Plus, you needed to let them know to change it to the Mondstadt region.
Lost in thought of all the technicalities and paperwork you would have to fill out, you weren't focusing on the fleeting whispers around you.
“Is that them?”
“Who else could it be?”
“What a monster…”
“-as long as we get paid.”
“Who cares about-”
“It's me or them.”
“As long as it's them and not me.”
Your experience at the guild was a much kinder one. Katheryne was the epitome of professionalism, just as you remembered her to be. Not that you expected much else from a robot.
After handing all the written work to her, you finally noticed the absence of a certain person.
“Where’s that grouchy Lan? She's usually here, isn't she?” Checking the vicinity, you try to spot the brown recognizable bob.
“The Branch Master Lan is currently undertaking a commission at this time.”
“About the unseen razor, right?”
“That can not be disclosed to unauthorized-”
“It's fine. I’ll see you later, Katheryne.” Turning around, you leave without another thought. Lan wasn't anywhere near the ‘threatening’ list you've created since you last saw her.
Pick up plushie
Crossing out the previous task, you look at the present one with mixed emotions. On one hand, you were happy to get a chance to see something related to Earth, to your world. But at the same time, you couldn't help but wonder if it would serve more as a distraction than anything else. The memories it brought up never failed to leave your heart troubled…
Remembering the money you spent commissioning it ultimately tipped the scales, and so you dragged your feet to the little old lady’s toy shop.
It was empty just as the first time you were there as she hummed. If she was a vision holder you'd guess Hydro judging by the tranquility she radiated.
Her eyes meet yours and a happy smile slips onto your face without much thought.
“Here to pick up the toy, dearie?”
“Yup.” Popping the ‘p’, you watched as she gathered a delicately wrapped box from under the other boxes and presented it to you.
“Enjoy the nostalgic memories a toy can bring.”
You politely thank her before taking the present and walking away. The weight of the box is heavy with dread, and you can only find solace in the fact she didn't refer to it as ‘happy’ memories.
Once sufficiently out of sight, you take to grasping the lid. But you couldn't bring yourself to remove it.
Too many memories. All of them are rushing in and filled with conflicting feelings that would surely crush you. The fear and selfishness of the broken promises and unfulfilled desires would throw you off your game.
With a little too much enthusiasm, you stuff the box of the cat plushie into your bag.
Most likely to stay forgotten and distant from the present you're facing.
Scratching it off harder than the rest, you get to the last errand.
Refill supplies
A smart and mature move considering how you used the whole Medkit during the chase. The soggy bandages and washed away ointment really hurt your heart and wallet.
Revisiting the same shops you went to the first time proved to be ineffective. Either they were completely sold out or no longer supplying them.
Forced to visit more stores, you had to walk around the city a lot more than you cared to. Each store had one of the two situations, and the skittish actions of everyone around you were just the cherry on top.
At one point you even tried to buy the individual items separately, and even that failed.
It's not like you could just wait till next week for the first shipment. You weren't even sure you would live till then.
Eventually, you found yourself sulking on the lower docks, turning the situation around in your head.
If only you lived in Liyue for a little longer, maybe you could have found some of the hidden shops. Befriend a store owner and get a hidden one.
Just who the hell would even go out of their way to get every medical first aid part when it's such a crucial item for so many people in this era?
A name finally comes to mind and your expression sours at the thought. Not that you’d let it show, Celestia knows how many guards are watching you at this moment-
A sudden, rapid series of taps on your shoulder has you spinning around in surprise.
A young boy stands before you. The clothes he wears has visible wear and tear as the fabric frays from the edges. Yet you can't help but think you might have seen him before.
Placing a finger on his lips, he uses his other hand to grab hold of your elbow and tug you along.
Surprised but not suspicious of the kid, you let him lead you deeper into the docks. The dark red of his eyes seem to glow within the shadows as his dirty blond hair acts as your beacon of light.
The smell of fresh fish turns rotten, and the dirt caked under his fingernails stains your clothes. The complete and straight planks become jagged and creaky as you follow him farther.
But you stayed silent.
You recognized a path to the seedy part of the city when you see it.
Instead, you examine the younger boy with a critical eye and finally connect the dots. He must be one of the kids you saved with Yiran.
A smirk creeps up your face. It seems you managed to use your time wisely in making connections after all.
Following along the twists and turns, you don't worry too much about the Millelith. Most of the guards probably couldn't even get this far. If you had to guess, it would only be the detectives who could keep up.
It's not like the hidden underworld of cities as popular as Liyue Harbor are any big secret to them.
Stalls and various shops fill the area as flickering lanterns and other extra lighting give you a wider view.
Multiple people call out to the boy as he silently waves to them. The gaze of the homeless and shady people around aren't warm, but aren't hostile either.
Not that you were exactly expecting a warm welcome, but at least you didn't have to worry about sudden personality changes.
Money could buy you information, but it wouldn't buy you trust in these parts.
He finally stops at a little nook in the corner of the area. The door is worn down with scratches and marks yet the light you can see under it is warm.
Silent as before, he points at you, then to the rows of shops in a sweeping motion before stopping at the door.
Pinching your brows in slight confusion, you chew on the gestures to understand it. High-pitched laughter that suspiciously sounds like children eases into your ears as the boy squirms in place.
“Did you want me to knock on the door when I'm done shopping? That you'll lead me back to the surface?”
It was the only thing that you can think of. And despite your hesitation, the boy nods, clearly relieved that you understood the message.
He must truly be mute, no doubt from whatever horrors he must have faced that lead to the scars poorly hidden by mud on his arms.
You were thankful either way. Just leading you here was great but getting an exit too was even better. Now you could avoid getting mugged and/or murdered on your way back.
“Thanks man, I'll be quick.” With that, you walk away, already following the invisible path to the shops that caught your eye.
As much as you would have liked to explore the various items and weapons they had, you didn't want to keep the kid waiting.
After having to buy a rather expensive medical kit, a minor downside to finding the first medical anything since you left Bubu’s pharmacy, you pick up a minor stitching case.
You could have really used one during your latest and probably not last chase. Stuffing it into your bag, as people eye the magical item with desire, you quickly find the home.
Getting to the door, you step closer than before and take note of the older voice. A woman that's chuckling, and a lingering sense of guilt invades your mind.
Quickly rapping your knuckles on the wood, you step away as the home goes dead quiet.
Multiple little eyes peer at you from windows below you as you lazily grin and wave. They all scatter as giggling resumes and the sound of playing returns.
But not the woman’s voice. You didn't expect it to. It's hard to face the only person you've poured your raw wounds from a child's death to.
The kid finally steps out with multiple clicks of locks echoing around the small space. Smiling, you take no offense to the action. You weren't here for trust, and they weren't helping you out of it either.
His crimson eyes glisten with interest at your bag. He wants his pay, and you're more than happy to oblige.
Stuffing your hand into the bag, you feel the familiar clink of Mora gathering in your hand. Pulling it out, you place an appropriate amount into the pouch he already has prepared.
When you drop it all, he takes it closer to him and picks up a piece. The first thing he does is try to bite it, and the familiar memory of you testing coins the same way makes you smile sadly.
Counting the Mora, he frowns, clearly displeased with the amount. He holds his hand out, and you can feel the other children’s stares digging into you.
“I'm going to give you two things that aren't Mora, okay? But you have to keep it a secret.”
He narrows his eyes, no doubt suspecting you of being a shady person. That's probably why he brought you here first and demanded payment before returning you.
Like this, he has back up and cornered you further into payment of his choosing.
“Do you have a cooking pot?”
He frowns in confusion before nodding slowly. Lifting one finger in a pause motion, before heading back inside his home.
He returns while holding a clean cooking pot. It doesn’t take long before he places it over the open fire you already started.
Small eyes follow your every step as you dig out ingredients from your bag. Mentally going over the ingredients you had originally prepared for your celebration feast if you survived tonight, you drop them into the pot.
4 ham, 3 crabs, 3 shrimp meat, and 3 matsutake potatoes are dropped in.
Turning around, you count to five as the boy gives you a confused stare. But you only wink at him before turning around to look at the pot, as his eyes widen at the sight.
Adeptus’ Temptation sits innocently in the pot as the rich aroma wafts around the area, drawing curious hungry eyes.
Leaning down, you whisper to the boy.
“Get your friends and bring the pot back into your house quickly. This food is blessed and safe as you watched the whole process. I suggest you let the sickly and injured children eat first.”
He looks between you and the pot with conflicting emotions. On one hand, he can't trust you too much, but even the smell of the food was clearly tempting him.
It's the shuffling of feet getting closer that makes him bang on the door, signalling for the other children to come out and help him bring it inside.
By the time the shabby adults come into view, it's just you and the boy ‘talking’ as they grumble and turn around.
The kid still looks displeased. You don't blame him completely, since how can he trust that the food you cook isn't spiked with anything nefarious.
You're not even sure if it can heal people that aren't acolytes. It doesn't work on you after all.
At least they'll all enjoy a hot meal, even if it doesn't work.
Sighing, you take out your last resort from your bag, sadly selecting it and pulling it out. The secret weapon you've been saving since your time in Inazuma.
The colorful assortment of candy wrappers makes the kid’s eyes sparkle with the childlike glee that was absent since you met him. Probably long before you met him.
“It's not just Liyue candy, some are even from Inazuma.” The thought of giving up your hard-earned candy hurt you, but you let it go.
The candy you squirreled away during the Inazuma festival, and the discount ones you bought at cheap prices at Liyue’s markets, were both never going to be eaten anyway.
His hands reach out to snatch the candy greedily from you but you raise it out of reach at the last second. He stomps his foot in childish indignation as you chuckle.
“Sorry, but I need you to bring me back to the outside before you scam me out of any more goodies.”
Finally giving up, he grabs your elbow again and leads you back through the streets. You enjoy the sights as he leads you zigzagging through the stalls.
You can't help but wonder if any detectives are still watching your boring little interactions. Admittedly, you played into the kid's desires more then you had to.
But you couldn't stop yourself from doing so when all you could see in him was yourself when you were that height.
The sun comes into light as the dim lanterns fade away. Like this, you can see his features once more as the stomping of soldiers return.
His eyes scan the area at the sound, but he keeps his hands open for the sweet treats. Smiling, you drop the candy into his open palms before he rushes off with a beaming boyish grin.
Stretching as you walk up the planks to the surface, you finally cross off the last item and drop it into the nearby trash can.
You try to ignore how it disappears when you turn the corner.
------------------------------------
Time ticks down slowly, and you aren't looking forward to seeing Madam Ping just yet. Besides, you made a long-overdue promise to someone else beforehand.
Starting up at the somewhat hidden Funeral Parlor, you push the door open with a casual; “Hey, I'm here to meet up with the Director of this fine and totally not macabre establishment.”
The receptionist blinks at your sudden words before a cheery voice responds from behind her.
“You sure took your time, Y/N. I almost wondered if you up and died before I got a chance to have you purchase one of our very convenient and practical deals!”
Yet again, Hu Tao was right on the money about you being close to death. Idly, you wonder if you look half as dead as you feel.
The receptionist is more than happy to slip away as her boss bounds up to you with that elemental ghost hovering around her.
Flower pupils stare into your eyes, giving you a vague sense of unease as Hu Tao examines you from various angles.
“Yup, yup! Just as I suspected. You are in desperate need of escape, and it seems the only way you'll be getting it is in death. My honest suggestion is that you buy a coffin from us and lead a hedonist lifestyle to enjoy the few years you have left.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” You dryly respond as she nods approvingly.
“A business needs to be honest for it to succeed in the long-term. Trust of the customers is one of the biggest key factors.”
Not willing to argue on a topic you were admittedly clueless on, you follow her deeper into the Parlor.
“Then you got any good deals for a traveling adventurer like me who could be dead halfway across the world?”
She sighs, exaggerating it to the utmost while circling you. “I thought deeply on the topic and while the Wangshsng Funeral Parlor has grown enough to reach all of Liyue and a good amount of Mondstadt and Sumeru, we still haven't grown enough to pair up with each region.”
Passing by multiple doors, your eyes scan for a clue on where she was leading you.
“But considering you're the most eager customer I've had concerning their own death, I decided to present you with a special deal.”
“Wouldn't suicidal people also be enthusiastic in this topic?”
“They're usually more focused on the moment and their own afterlife, instead of the corpse they leave behind. Besides-!”
Whipping around to look at you with a knowing grin, she lays a hand decorated in rings on the handle.
“You aren't that far from being called a suicidal person yourself, Y/N!”
Before you can question her on those words, she swings the door open to show multiple rows of various coffins.
“The special offer I'm giving you is to purchase a coffin and I will personally escort your wandering soul to the border for proper peace.”
Tearing your eyes from the admittedly impressive collection of varying caskets, you have the sense to ask her a question. “So, what's the point in me buying a coffin if my body ends up in the waters of Fontaine? And how could I even trust that you have the ability to escort souls?”
From what you remember, Hu Tao should have no clue about your oracle status, so logically you should act oblivious to her connection with the border. Would you even be able to cross the border? It’s not like you were born on Teyvat like her other customers.
Unless Zhongli told her, but that would require more of an explanation on his behalf that he wouldn't want to do.
“Very good question, dear customer!” She spins around to face you once more, her long twin tails swinging during the motion.
“Even if your body is irretrievable for whatever reason, the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor will deem your casket full after I guide your soul.”
The atmosphere visibly shifts after she speaks. The room darkens as the lanterns flicker, her back lowers in a familiar position as a cold phantom touch caresses your hand.
“You of all people should know why and how I'm able to guide souls. After all, I wouldn't expect anything less from an Oracle of the Creator.”
A crooked grin makes its way to your face as goosebumps raise on your skin. Hu Tao’s ‘threatening’ words of knowing your identity were like the sweetest song to your ears.
Finally, all your hard work in creating connections and stabilizing your identity has paid off. Acolytes you've barely begun conversing with already see you as an Oracle.
“Should I applaud you or something, Director? Or should I just accept the deal and make us both happy?”
Hu Tao laughs at your words as you take confident strides to stand by her side.
“I would appreciate the second option much more!” Signature flower pupils drink your smiling visage in with delight before her hand grasps yours in a tight hold.
“Now, if you will, I'll introduce all these amazing coffin and casket types for you to ask about and choose between.”
There's no time to protest, not that you would as she pulls you along excitedly as butterflies made of Pyro brush against your cheek.
------------------------------
Somehow you and Hu Tao had managed to look at every single coffin type in existence. A style, color and even additional design to it has already been decided.
You're just left with choosing the best wood for it.
Hu Tao wanted to stay with you throughout the whole process, but an important matter came up again, making her complain loudly as she left.
But before she did, she insisted on sending one of her employees to help you in choosing, as ‘the wood is a vital part of the process!’.
So now you're left waiting in the absolutely quiet room, with only the sound of your own breathing accompanying you.
Looking down at the two coffins made of different wood, you waited for this employee. A small smirk played on your lips as you heard the door audibly click shut.
The thumping of shoes coming closer was silent, but the slight hitch of breath gave away how close your new consultant was.
“White cedar wood and Teck wood are both very fine choices. Though I would consider the Catalpa wood two rows down to be the best choices considering your position.”
Hot air fans your skin as the knowledgeable words spoken in that low timber light your nerves aflame.
Turning around, you look into amber eyes that remain steadfast on your face. His outfit is pristine and there's not a single evidence of the battle he was left to fight on him.
“If that answers your last question for the coffin customization, then would you mind stepping outside with me?”
Waving your hand, you dismiss his words without hesitation. “We can do so after I check out the Catalpa wood you recommended.”
Your head angles to the side to look at him with a teasing grin. “I know it's your retirement, but you of all people should know that rushing a job is never good.”
A long-suffering sigh leaves Zhongli as you walk away to the Catalpa coffin, before he follows you.
More than happy to kill time like this, you feel the wood under your fingertips in a smooth stripe.
“Catalpa wood was and is still often used as an outer coffin for the jade inner coffin that Liyue officials were buried in. Not only can it be carved fluidly, but it is also very resistant to decay, unlike other ornamental wood. Its stability is quite underrated, with only the drying to be a tad problematic. And even that will be for us to deal with.”
Vaguely you wonder if this information was inserted into the game based off China’s own history or if Teyvat really did age throughout many years to build its own history.
“That’s why I recommended this type of wood to you. While you’re not officially a member of the Qixing or other affairs, your position of oracle is enough to warrant such a valued coffin.”
“Are you trying to convince me to buy it for your job, or are you trying to flatter me for your proposal?”
“You may see it as both, neither, or one of the two. I'm simply here as the consultant. I am to assist you with all of your decision-making inside this building.”
A huff of laughter leaves you before you tap on the casket. “Then I'll go along with what you want and take this wood.”
Zhongli nods, not bothering to write it down as his memory must be far greater than you care to imagine.
His gloved hand is displayed to you in a silent question, but before you can move, he removes the glove.
Quizzically, you raise an eyebrow before placing your hand on his now bare one. Peering at his face from your place you note the slightest blush on his otherwise composed expression.
Smiling to yourself, you allow his fingers to intertwine with your own as he guides you out of the side door. Following him blindly up the staircase, past a set of rooms, another staircase till you finally arrive at the roof.
Zhongli squeezes your hand one last time, clearly relishing in the touch of your calloused fingertips before letting you go.
“I've waited patiently for you, Y/N. What is your answer to my marriage proposal?”
His eyes stare at yours with unshakable firmness. In a sense, it's endearing, and you make it clear by smiling widely.
“It's a no from me.” That resolute expression cracks and his mouth drops open before it's slammed shut at your bright laughter.
But even his poorly concealed embarrassed expression can't smother the blood rushing to his cheeks as his ears hang onto every addictive note that leaves your lips.
This has taken a long time. Like super long. I haven't dropped this series, just have lots of school work to complete and exams to study for. Like I literally have one tomorrow. My editor did me a solid and highlighted the parts that I had to fill in after I gave the mostly completed document for editing. When I have to write the next chapter, it'll take a bit as I gotta reread for recalibration. Taglist is open as always!
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#whisp's amateur work#sagau oracle au#oracle au#genshin sagau#genshin impact#yandere genshin impact#yandere genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#yandere sagau#yandere x reader#yandere#genshin impact sagau#sagau#yandere zhongli#yandere hu tao#yandere xingqiu#yandere chongyun#yandere baizhu#that was a lot of characters#sagau cult au#genshin cult au#sagau zhongli#sagau x reader#am I finally done?#Can I go study now?#I really hope everyone enjoyed this one#I hope I didn't mispell Xingqiu#enjoy the feast
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wishful thinking. (07)
chapter seven: built to break
summary: the instruction was plain and simple: no strings attached. but you should’ve known from the beginning that it could never apply to you and him.
pairing: minho x f!reader rating: 18+ (minors dni) genres/warnings: friends to lovers, friends with benefits au, college au; fluff, angst, smut; the gorlies are fighting...?, not much for warnings in this chapter ig word count: 4.3k note: i finally got off my ass and wt is finally back lol. i had a last minute change of plans and thought "oh! you know what would be pretty neat? if we prolong the angst so everyone can be sad for longer!" <3 and this is how i announce that the next chapter is not wt8 but wt7.5 and it's written from his pov <3 merry christmas
as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡
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I’ll hold my breath as I wait for your answer I’ll leave it up to you Tell me whether it’s yes or no Baby, love me or leave me tonight
Love Me or Leave Me - Day6
The warning signs, they're there. You can see them before they materialize. You know your own tells.
Your metaphorical bags are packed, your shoes are already on. You're about to run again, leave a half empty house before it has the chance to become a home. No one has to tell you that you're a flight risk; you're well aware of it yourself.
Wednesday Min: got plans tonight? You: booked and busy with ze old canvas Min: tomorrow? You: same thing probably. sorry Min: u're working hard lately You: yeah this one is just driving me crazy and i need it to turn out decent Min: it'll be perfect. it's u
Thursday Min: running errands at the store Min: want me to bring u anything? that caramel popcorn u like?
Friday Min: don't work too hard. remember to eat
That was three days ago, the last time you'd heard from him after you left him on read. It wasn't a complete lie; this project is driving you kinda crazy and you do need it to end up a decent piece, but you weren't exactly holed up in your apartment to slave over your painting. And you suppose Minho didn't find it all that suspicious because you tend to do this sometimes - disappear for a couple of days and force yourself to focus whenever you had a project to finish, before you come back to everybody again. You've come back to him before; it stands to reason that you'll do it again.
It's been about two weeks since you'd seen him, though the memories of that evening are still fresh in your mind - the evening of the group dinner, when he'd kissed you goodnight and left for his parents' house the following day. True to his words, he did send you pictures of the cats - ones of Soonie wearing a matching hoodie with him, a few of Doongie and Dori napping at the foot of his bed. There was an accompanying text - The kids miss you - along with a frowning emoji, and it made you wonder if what he really meant was I miss you.
You wanted him to miss you, because you missed him too.
The photos brought a smile to your face despite the predicament you found yourself in. A smile that was short lived, a smile that was soon wiped off when you realized your heart shouldn't be swelling with that much affection for him. It shouldn't, but the truth was that it did and you don't know how to live with it.
Love isn't something you've ever learned to hold.
It's beautiful yet full of thorns, and your hands are too clumsy to ever keep it from slipping from your fingers.
You remember when you first met Minho. Freshman year, at some popular senior's house party.
It feels like forever ago when you were just an awkward freshman at orientation who didn't have a single clue on how to make friends. Jess was your first friend in college, and you'll always be grateful that you got along well enough that she adopted you into the group with the rest of the guys.
You didn't cross paths with Minho until you were already acquainted with everyone else. On the night of the party, you remember being enamored with him for those couple of hours, and it wasn't the side effect of too many solo cups of cheap beer. Who in their right mind wouldn't be infatuated with him? He was beautiful, absolutely alluring, and you would always tell him as much.
Back then, he had brown hair, slighter shorter than now but it was tinted with the most gorgeous shade of red. You didn't know much about Minho, only been told that he was pretty quiet and might be off-putting to new people. It was sort of true; that night, you were intimidated by the aura he exuded. Mysterious, couldn't be bothered, didn't seem to give a shit. He looked like a scary little thing, while you were the new kid who was only trying to observe everyone's dynamics, not wanting to overstep any unspoken boundary.
To this day, you're still not sure what really happened, how you two immediately clicked and he's been one of the most important parts of your life ever since.
Maybe it was just him. Maybe it's always been him.
Minho, the one who makes you smile when all you want to do is curl up and cry. The one who makes you laugh when you look for joy but the search comes up empty. The one who grounds you every time you lose your way. Your anchor, the safe harbor you can always return to. The light at the end of a long, long tunnel.
You don't know where you stand, don't know where it goes from here now that everything is changing. He told you so himself, that nothing changed for him, but how could he possibly know that everything is changing for you? And it infuriates you to no end because you don't even have anyone to talk about this with. You're the only person whose world is being turned upside down after all.
You can't tell your friends because they can't know about you and Minho. You can't tell Minho because what would you even say? That you think you're in love with him? That the implications of what it means are devastating to you?
For the first time, you regret everything. Kissing him that night, sleeping with him, becoming whatever this is with him. Letting down your guard and falling for him somewhere along the way and you didn't even stop to notice it. You regret all of the decisions you've made up until now, because they've only led you to the point of no return, the point of losing him. You made bad decision after bad decision after bad decision, until you couldn't anymore. All along, there's been no one else to blame but you.
Maybe it hasn't happened yet, but it's inevitable. You will lose him. You are going to lose him.
There's no other ending, no other alternative that you can imagine. You're going to leave because you're a coward and it's what you do best. You ruin things before they get a chance to hurt you. You leave because if you don't leave then you'll be left behind, and you'd rather not bear the brunt of it.
Now, when you think of Minho, the thought is always accompanied by a painful reminder - Nothing changed for him.
When you get to the cafe, Hyunjin and Seungmin are already seated in a corner booth, three drinks in front of them, one of which they'd ordered for you before you arrived.
You slide into the seat next to Hyunjin, smiling at him appreciatively for the drink. There's still over half an hour before you have to walk to your shared class, over half an hour before Seungmin parts ways with you two to do whatever or whoever it is that Seungmin does on his off days.
"I still think it's Nara," Hyunjin says, casually sipping his iced coffee.
"Nara from your Lit class last semester?"
"Yup."
"Why?"
"I saw them talking at a party once."
"Okay. And?"
"And what? That's it."
"That's... all the evidence you have to back up your claim?"
"Pretty much, yeah."
You wave your hands in front of them. "What are you bozos talking about?"
"He’s still trying to figure out who Minho is hooking up with," Seungmin is the one who answers you without missing a beat, then he turns back to Hyunjin. "Anyway, it can't be Nara. She's dating Jaehyun on the basketball team."
The friend next to you flails his arms like a petulant child, like he couldn't have possibly seen this coming, like he was so sure that he had finally solved the mystery. "Great. I'm back to square one again."
You straighten your back and reach for your drink, tentatively gulping down the beverage as if it'll hide the fact that you've gone stiff the second this topic is brought up. You feel bad about it, sure. These are your friends that you're lying to after all. They don't have to look anywhere far; the answer to the secret is right in front of them.
"We're still on about that?" you ask in the calmest, most nonchalant voice you can muster. You usually consider yourself a believable liar (which, to be honest, isn't really a flex at all), but whenever someone mentions this little arrangement between you and Minho that shouldn't be common knowledge for anyone else, you feel like you're been put under a spotlight for the whole world to scrutinize.
"Duh," Hyunjin says. "You know, I'm kinda surprised that you don't know. You two are like, attached at the hip sometimes."
You give him a thoughtless shrug, your hands fiddling with the sticker on the plastic cup as you avoid looking at either of your friends. "Maybe he just wants to keep private things private, y'know? You wouldn't like either if all of us is suddenly all up in your business. And besides, what if it's just casual?"
Hyunjin scoffs. "Please, I'm an open book. I tell you guys everything. I tell you every time I hook up with someone."
"Yeah, but you see, literally no one needs to know that," Seungmin says.
The taller one only scoffs, waving his hands around dismissively in Seungmin's direction before he turns to you. "If it was just casual, would he save her name as - oh my God, I forgot what her contact name is. Freaking bird person or something."
You make a face. "What?"
"Dude, seriously?" Seungmin rolls his eyes. "You forgot one word? Dove? What is the matter with you?"
Perhaps it's the half-hearted teasing judgment in Seungmin's voice that makes Hyunjin take offense and drop the topic. The conversation veers off course when they start bickering like children in the busy cafe. You suppose it works in your favor, but you can't focus. You drown it all out.
Your hand is still on the cup but the sticker has been left alone and forgotten, half peeled off, half still clinging to the plastic underneath the condensation.
The single word repeats itself in your mind, over and over and over again.
The entire time you're in class, you don't really focus on anything. You can't bring yourself to listen to whatever your professor is saying, not after what Hyunjin and Seungmin told you earlier. At some point, your friend has to nudge your shoulder to bring you back down to earth when usually, you're the one who has to remind Hyunjin to pay attention. Class ends soon enough though; time tends to fly by when your mind is lost elsewhere.
"What's wrong with you today?" he asks with his bag slung over his shoulder, slowing down his steps to match your speed as you walk out of the lecture hall together.
You scratch the back of your neck sheepishly. "Nothing's wrong. I was just tired."
"You wanna grab dinner with me and Felix?"
Any other day, you would've agreed in a heartbeat. But today, you want to be alone. Sometimes, you'd rather wallow in your own misery than settle for a temporary distraction.
You're still stuck on the conversation from earlier, on the small detail that Hyunjin and Seungmin had let slip in the cafe.
Dove.
His dove.
Maybe it doesn't mean anything. Perhaps it's only a nickname that he's assigned to you out of mere platonic fondness, but it makes you conscious about the dove on your own wrist nonetheless, the one that you feel compelled to hide from your friends underneath your long sleeve.
"No, it's okay," you tell Hyunjin. "I'll just go home and sleep it off."
"Okay. I can walk you for a bit," he says. "Just wait with me here. Minho's coming to give me back something he borrowed."
"Minho's coming?" you ask too quickly for it to sound casual. There's a panicked edge that you can hear in your own voice, though you don't think Hyunjin picks it up as he unlocks his phone and types something on the screen.
"Yeah, he was at the library. He's coming over right now, should only be a couple minutes. Then I'll walk back with you."
You shift on your feet uneasily, but you cover it up by rubbing your hands on your arms to pretend like you're just cold. There's no excuse that you could think of that would justify why you can't stand here with Hyunjin for just two more minutes, without giving it away the fact that you're avoiding Minho.
You take in a quiet breath, put on your best brave face. Casual, nonchalant. It's just Minho. Just Minho...
He comes up from behind, where you can't see him. A warm hand gently lands on your shoulder, and it takes everything not to shy away from his touch. It takes even more not to lean into his side.
You've missed it. You've missed him.
"Hey." He smiles at you while Hyunjin only gets a nod in acknowledgment.
"Hey." You return the smile, though you're sure you look a little rigid. You can tell there's an inkling of confusion in his eyes when he senses that your energy is off, but you're thankful he doesn't comment on it, at least not in front of Hyunjin anyway.
You don't notice the paper bag in his other hand until he hands it to your other friend with a simple Thanks, to which Hyunjin just nods along in a silent You're welcome.
"I was going to walk with Y/N for a bit and then meet Felix for food," he tells Minho. "You wanna get burgers with me and Lix?"
"No, thanks. I'm not hungry, I had a late lunch. I'll take the walk though."
You didn't plan on being alone with Minho today, even though you knew you had to talk to him eventually. You just thought you had a little more time, at least until you got your shit together and face him with a brave façade.
Minho's hand brushes yours the entire time you walk, and it's nothing if not confusing. It's unbearable, the way your fingers twitch with the urge to intertwine them with his.
It persists even after Hyunjin has waved you goodbye to you two and turned to head wherever he and Felix agreed to meet. You think Minho would hold your hand now that it's just you and him, but he doesn't. He lets your skin continue to brush, lets you suffer alone and wanting in your sunken disappointment.
It has very little to do with him and everything to do with you, the conflicting thoughts inside your head piling up one by one the more time you spend in his presence.
Dove, the brief display of jealousy at Yeonjun's party, the way he looks at you sometimes that you can't really decipher the meaning behind, how he kisses you so tenderly that it can't possibly be strictly platonic. You want these things to all mean something, and yet...
You want him to hold your hand, but you know you'd wave it off if he tries to reach for your fingers. You want him to stop you right then and there to kiss you breathless, just as he had that night two weeks ago, even though you're sure you'd only dodge his lips and push him away. You want to stay, you want to leave. You're terrified of things changing, but you wish that something, anything, would be different for him; that you aren't the only one who's spinning out of control. You love him, but you wish you didn't.
Eventually, Minho asks, "You okay?"
It's not until now that you realize this is the first time you've ever been this quiet around him. You purse your lips, glancing down briefly at your feet as you keep on treading the rest of the way home. "Yeah, all good. I'm just tired," you tell him, visibly unenthusiastic despite the smile you try to fake. "I just need to sleep it off."
"The project stressing you out?"
"I guess, yeah."
"And here I thought maybe you were avoiding me," he says, half a joke, half inquisitive. "Were you?"
"Was I what?"
"Were you avoiding me?"
You give him a weird look, one that's meant to be dismissive and call his question ridiculous even though you know you've been caught. And maybe it's the over-the-top glance that you throw his way and the way your pitch goes higher when you reply, "Why would I be avoiding you?" that makes him stop walking.
On the other side of the street, there's a couple of kids in high school uniforms, exchanging shy glances and sharing fond giggles.
Minho calls your name softly, and it's like you're just waiting for the ball to drop. You don't want to turn back and look at him, but what other option do you have? What else is there to do?
You can't decipher the expression on his face. He's still calm, but the air has turned serious, the silence of the mostly empty streets surrounding you only serves as the soundtrack of your impending heartbreak. The tender and innocent laughter fades away when young love moves further and further from where you stand. "What?" you ask with faux nonchalance as you look at him, another attempt at stalling. Biding your time even though a few more minutes aren't going to do any good for your case.
Anyone with half a braincell could tell that clearly it's not the truth, let alone someone who has learned to read you better than the back of his hand. He doesn't look like he believes you, though he doesn't push it, much to your surprise.
"Okay," he says after a moment of studying you, and this should be the part where you heave a sigh of relief because he's letting you off the hook for now, but your chest doesn't feel lighter at all. Your head is clouded with dread, with the anticipation that you're only delaying the inevitable.
You walk the rest of the way in awful silence, because you know that he knows something is wrong. You try your best to appear composed, but he sees right through you. You know he does.
You must look like a frightened animal, one that's about to take off running any second now.
When you reach your building, Minho is quick to keep you with him before you can make up a lame excuse and bolt.
"Hey," he starts, his voice so impossibly gentle that it hurts. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"
Heavier and heavier, it weighs you down until you feel like your chest is going to collapse. The nerves gnaw on you, clawing into you until you feel your heartbeat quicken, the overwhelming dread simmering low in your belly.
"I know," you say, but deep down, what you're really thinking is, Not this. This is the one thing I can't tell you.
"Is everything okay?"
It's the way that Minho's got his gaze set on you with those deep brown irises, the concern so apparent in them that it hurts you. It's the way he looks like he wants to reach out and touch you - a comforting hand on your shoulder or your back like you're so familiar with - but he has to hold himself back or you might slip away.
It's him, how he always puts you first, how he cares about you in ways that you've never been cared about before. He understands you, he sees you. It feels like it could be love if you let the lines blur just enough.
Is love supposed to hurt? Like this?
Maybe it's not that you don't know how to hold love. Maybe it's because you're not meant to hold it at all. Insignificant, unlovable.
And... it's the reminder that cuts through the dread like the sharpest knife.
You leave his question unanswered, because nothing is okay and you can't tell him any of it. You can't lie to him either, because it's the last thing that you want to do to him.
Instead, you ask, "We're good... right? We're okay?"
"What do you mean?"
You gesture between the two of you, though you're not sure what that's supposed to signify. "Just...," you trail off for a second, hesitant. "Nothing's changed, right?"
Minho doesn't answer right away. He looks at you for a moment, searching for something in your eyes that you can't tell if he's able to find.
He nods, seemingly wistful as he says, "Nothing's changed."
He seems unsure about it, at least more than he was just a few weeks ago when he told you the same thing in your apartment with his fingers wrapped around your wrist. The tug between his brows - though barely noticeable - tells you as much.
Is it because something is different now? Or does he only sound uncertain out of concern, because of you and how you're acting?
Then he continues, "For me, at least."
And there it is.
It's the confirmation this time around that turns you inside out so his simple words could cut into you.
You swallow thickly, put on a smile like you're pleased with his answer even though you're trying your hardest to stop yourself from shaking. Whatever energy you had left is instantly drained from you just because of a few words.
Your sentences get smashed together, tangled up like barbed wire and they only make you bleed when you try to pull them apart. All your nervous tics coming out to play despite your best efforts to keep them at bay. A frustrated hand running through your hair, gripping at the roots a little harshly. Your bottom lip pulled between your teeth and your eyes turning glassy for a split second before you blink the moisture away, because you can't let Minho see you like this. See you trying to keep your pathetic heart intact while he's none the wiser.
He's fine. And unlike you, he's going to be okay when this is over.
Unavoidable and inevitable, the end will come whether you like it or not. You're the only one who won't make it out unscathed, and it will only shatter you into more pieces the longer you drag this out.
Just rip the bandaid off. Salvage whatever you can. Stop digging the grave even deeper for yourself.
One second, then two, then three. You don't speak until you have enough faith that your voice is even enough to carry out a few sentences.
"Okay, uhm... I think I need some time for myself. We should..." But it isn't, and you crack halfway through. The sound is deafening to your own ears. "We should take a break. We should stop this."
Minho doesn't question if you mean the secret between the two of you, or your friendship entirely. Instead, he asks, "Why?"
"I told you." You clear your throat. "I need time for myself."
You can't tell what he's thinking, but the knife twists inside of you nonetheless.
He takes a step closer, you take a step back.
You watch as his face falls, and the same feeling mirrors itself within the confines of your ribcage. Your heart drops at the sight of his eyes, deep brown irises stained with a little confusion, then a little hurt though it lasts for only a few seconds. The slight slump of his shoulders, the absence of the familiar playfulness he always sports when he's with you.
He blinks.
"Time for yourself, or time away from me?"
You say nothing.
You don't address his question directly, and your reluctance to do so is a loud enough answer in and of itself. "Why does that matter? What's the difference?"
"It matters if I did something to upset you."
"You didn't."
"Okay. So?"
This is confusing, because he's not letting you rip the bandaid clean off and you don't know why. "Nothing's changed, right? If it didn't mean anything to you, why can't you just drop this?"
Minho is quiet for a beat. His eyes are searching again, but this time, you think he finds something.
Everything is still and you hate it - the silence of the streets, the scrutinizing orange glow of the streetlights as if they're watching the scene unfold, even the innocent cat that's sitting by itself on the balcony on one of the floors higher up. You hate all of it.
"I never said it didn't mean anything," he tells you.
It makes you a little angry for some reason, and there's enough red to cloud your vision because his words are contradicting and you're tired, you're so exhausted that you can't focus on what it is that he's really saying.
"So you lied to me?"
"I've never lied to you."
"I asked you before and you said nothing's changed. Now you're saying whatever this is didn't not mean anything. Make up your mind."
It gets redder when he keeps his eyes fixed on you, still so calm despite the frown that has returned to its place between his brows. Still so collected, while you're being pulled apart at the seams.
The ball doesn't drop the way you expect it to. It keeps falling so insufferably slowly, hanging over you like it's mocking you for being stupid, like it's milking every second of suspense to make you implode.
Until Minho speaks next and suddenly, it feels like the air has been sucked out of your lungs. His voice, still so soft and tender. His eyes, reading something in yours that you can't bear to admit out loud.
"You really don't see it, do you?"
all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 24.06.2024]
#stray kids fic#stray kids imagines#stray kids x reader#skz fic#skz imagines#skz x reader#skz x you#lee know fluff#lee know angst#lee know smut#lee know scenarios#lee know x reader#lee know imagines#lee know x you#lee minho x reader#lee minho x you#stray kids#lee know#lee minho#fic: wishful thinking
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love love LOVE the shells and tides au and all the designs you have been putting out for ittt waahh… definitely it is on my list of things to draw at some point …. :>
in your king post though you mention the au being no time loops. for my own curiosity, IS there a plot you have in mind? or general story? 👀 or anything ur willing to share?? vv interested…
Hello yes! I do kind of have a storyline of sorts! Mostly basic background info on what the au is about etc.
Mirabelle quite literally found Siffrin hiding under a rock! They are extremely unfamiliar with waters outside of where they come from. They don't know surface customs etc, So Mirabelle teaches them the primary language! Though being merfolk they also can communicate with little whistles and clicks etc. Mirabelle teaches Siffrin a lot about what places are safe etc. The two are basically inseparable until Mira is comfortable with Siffrin swimming off on their own and not getting themself into trouble!
Mirabelle and Siffrin live in a sunken ship together! They both like to collect any trinkets and shells they find! Nille and Bonnie are friends of theirs! (They live in a nearby underwater cave)
When Siffrin is in the middle of becoming fluent in vaugardian, they notice a boat above! Mirabelle explains the concept of humans to them and such. Siffrin, being a curious little fella swims up there and discovers Odile, who's a pirate captain, and Isabeau! Along with the rest of their crew. Siffrin, who likes giving gifts like shells to his friends, starts leaving shells for the crew in attempt to make friends with them. Isabeau starts collecting the shells because Ooo pretty!!
One day Isabeau catches Siffrin putting shells on the deck. They make awkward eye contact with each other and then Sif swims off. Isabeau tells Odile about what he saw, and against Odile's warnings about Sirens, Isabeau decides he's going to try to befriend Siffrin! (Which is very successful)
Isabeau definitely helped in Siffrin's ability to speak fluently. They tend to exchange gifts with each other!
I don't want to make this post ridiculously long so that's what I'll give you for now along with these last couple points of info,
Siffrin introduces Mira to Isa, they become friends
Odile finds out about Isa befriending merfolk and hesitantly over time warms up to them as well.
Odile tells Mirabelle and Siffrin lots of stories! She'll read books to Mirabelle
Siffrin lost their eye protecting Bonnie from a smaller sea monster. Nille killed said sea monster
Mirabelle was given a starfish from Siffrin as a sign of their friendship! Sif has one too! Siffrin also made the bracelet Isabeau has ❤️
Nille found Loop, known as Sandy, while gathering sea urchins with Sif and Bonnie! (I plan to make a mini comic page with this.)
Yes that's right. I made Loop a sassy albino sea urchin named Sandy that can talk. They sit on a crate in the sunken ship and make fun of and or give advice to Mira and Sif.
#isat#isat fanart#my art#in stars and time#isat au#isat siffrin#isat mirabelle#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#In Shells And Tides
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Day off (Modern Au) P.3
Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x cousin!reader
Summary: One of the most talked about gossips among the lower class servants in Kings Landing is the fact (or not) that Aemond Targaryen got involved with his cousin Y/n Targaryen when they were both teenagers. Mainly due to the fact that at the age of 17 she was sent to Old Town overnight. Some employees claim that Aemond was caught between her legs. Some say that, like her father, she had had a horrible fight with her uncle and uncle and was sent away. And other than that none of this happened, she just became interested in the course offered at the Old Town conservatory. But now five years later, Y/n Targaryen is back, and rumors haunt those who favor them.
This chapter is a part of a main story The gossip, you can find the previous chapter, summary and general tags by accessing the link.
Summary of the chapter: The birthday party brings much more than imagined, and after a completely crazy night comes the next morning. The breakfast? Gossips!
Warnings of the chapter: 18+ mdni! Smut, p in v, slight codependency, no description for reader.
A/N: I hope you like the new chapter, I'm very happy and grateful for all the dear people who commented on the previous chapter, thank you very much, your comments inspire me! Comments and suggestions are welcome 💕
Word count: 7,500 k
"Good morning Kings landing, it seems that the birthday party of our dearest Cece Lanister was the event of the year. From what our columnists heard, Y/n Targaryen attended her former friend's party, but apparently she didn't stay for long Did our beloved Targaryen's time in Old Town change her that much?"
❦❦❦
The flavor of seven tea house was packed as always for breakfast. At a table further away, sitting with her cell phone in her hand and visibly impatient, was Floris Baratheon.
-I haven't been able to talk to Aemond since last night. - Floris commented in the group of friends in annoyance.
-He dropped you off at home? - Nia asked, curving her eyebrows.
-No, he disappeared in the middle of the party, I know he doesn't like this type of event, but he must have had a good reason to leave without warning. - She commented with a frown on her forehead, looking at the cell phone display while the group's friends looked at each other.
-What's it? - She asked when she saw the expressions on their faces.
-I don't know, Floris, don't you think it's strange that he disappeared in the middle of the party yesterday, right after she returned? - Pia said, slightly biting her lips in apprehension.
-She who? - Floris asked rolling her eyes.
-Y/n Targaryen.
-Time please. - She rolled her eyes even more deeply and spoke in a mocking voice. - Are you believing the gossip from the servants now?
-I don't know if it's just gossip.
-They are cousins Jane. Cousins.
-Yes, just as her father is Laena Valaryon's cousin and the two are married in Pentos.
-Look, his mother assured me that this was all just malicious gossip spread by servants who have nothing better to do.
Everyone raised their eyebrows at the prospect that she had asked Aemond's mother about the matter.
-Flo I don't know, this whole story is very strange. Do you remember your school days? The two of them were always together and had those strange looks at each other. - Jane said a little unbelieving.
-Okay, that's enough. - Floris protested irritably with her friends. - Aemond doesn't have anything to do with his cousin!
-Okay, we won't say anything else. - Elyrio said, raising both hands in surrender. - But you have to admit that it is strange.
-Do you want to know? I have to go, my dad needs me at the company today. - Floris picked up her own coffee and phone from the table and left, slightly tense, and Jane thought she saw the name Alicent in the phone book on Floris' cell phone before her friend left.
-You know what people say about why she went to Old Town. - After Floris left, Elyrio continued with a mischievous smile while wagging his eyebrows. - It looks like she was sent away because his mother caught them playing doctor in his room.
-I don’t know, but from what they say he was the gynecologist. - Lion blurted out in an even more malicious voice.
-How do you know about that? - Jane asked with wide eyes.
-We can't be sure, but the Targaryens' gardener is the brother of our family's cook. - Elyrio continued the conversation excitedly. - And from what we heard her talking to the other employees…
-It's not just rumors. - Lion concluded for his brother.
-That's so low, even for you guys - Nia rolled her eyes at the two brothers with a look of disbelief. - Aemond and Floris like each other.
-Oh please, has anyone ever seen Aemond kissing Floris? - Jane rolled her eyes as she said while drinking some of her own iced tea. - Whenever he's around he has that disgusted look on his face, it looks like someone put a rotten fish under his snobbish nose.
-I think it's just his way. - Nia defended, curving her eyebrows. - The family is all kind of weird after all, what with the royal descent thing and everything.
-Helaena Targaryen is not like that, I saw her picking up trash on the beach last week. -Lion smiled when he said that, but not in the malicious way he did when he talked about Aemond and Y/n.
-Helaena doesn't count. - Jane intervened at the same moment. - The girl is sweeter than any other human being that has ever walked the earth, I don't even know if she is even human.
-Have you spoken to Aegon yet? - Elyrio asked with an incredulous look as he moved his own coffee straw with his fingertips. - He makes you think that we have returned to the time of conquest and that everyone around must obey and serve him.
-But you guys forget that Aemond wasn't always like this. - Lion dragged the conversation back to Aemond. - Which brings us to the original subject of this conversation, when we studied KLH together he was all smiles and helpful.
-But only when he was with his dear little cousin. - Elyrio shook his eyebrows mischievously as he drank more coffee, and then looked around before whispering to the others. -Jason Lanister swears that one day he saw him put his hand up her skirt in high school.
-Jai is a liar. - Nia grumbled irritably.
-Well Lin Blackwood said that he once saw a very obscene note in her locker signed with an A at the end. -Jane said while she bit her lower lip.
-Which could mean millions more people. - Nia once again refuted her friends' gossip.
-Okay, but what about that trip to Harrenhall? - Lion said looking Nia in the eyes mockingly. - That the club had a technical problem with the lights and sent everyone out and they were both red and sweaty in that corner?
-We were on a dance floor, everyone was red and sweaty.
-Nia, don't you remember how strange he was after she went to Old Town? - Jane asked, staring at her friend fixedly. - He disappeared from college for over a month and when he came back he had lost weight and wasn't talking to anyone.
-And now he just disappears without answering the night she comes back? - Elyrio concluded hastily, as if gossiping was fuel to make his soul happy.
Pia's look at this point was even more apprehensive, as if she was holding air in her lungs and was going to explode at any moment. Elyrio, realizing this, raised his eyebrows curiously as he looked at his friend.
-Pia. - He hummed her name. - You know something!
-I do not know anything. - She immediately denied it.
-Hurry up! - Lion said, pulling the chair closer to hers. - We tell you what we know, now you have to tell it too!
-It’s not exactly gossip. - She started, still biting her lip. - Or maybe it is, I don't know. But last night at Cece's party I heard two girls say that they saw Aemond leaving with Y/n and that the two seemed very close.
Everyone looked at each other in shock after hearing this.
-That doesn't prove absolutely anything. - Nia interrupted. - They are cousins, Aemond could just be giving her a ride.
-Or giving other things. - Lion said smiling while drinking his own coffee. - And from what we know he probably loves giving her rides.
-How mean you are! - Nia grumbled while biting into a pretzel.
-It's not about being mean, it's about being realistic! - Elyrio came to his brother's defense. - There is something very wrong with those two. Even you have to admit it Nia.
❦❦❦
In the Targaryen mansion Alicent paced back and forth as she poked her fingers irritably. First Aemond didn't answer her and now all the calls were going straight to voicemail. She didn't want to accept it, but this could only be the work of that poisonous viper that had entangled itself with her son without her realizing it.
The phone rang and Alicent looked at it expectantly, but the name that appeared on the screen was not what she expected.
Floris.
Alicent's heart froze even more, and with slightly shaking hands she answered the phone, trying to appear calmer than she really was.
-Good morning Mrs Targaryen. - Came the gentle voice on the other end of the line.
-Hello my dear, how can I be of service?
-Do you happen to know where Aemond is? I can't talk to him and I'm already getting worried.
Alicent could feel the irritation in Floris's voice and she knew that just like her, the younger girl might also have her own suspicions.
-Aemond isn't feeling very well. In fact, he hadn't been well since yesterday, he told me he only left home yesterday so he could accompany you. - Alicent lied with a smile on her face.
-Is he at your house?
-Yes. - She confirmed it at the same moment.
-Then I'll come by and see hi…
-No my dear, I think it's better not to. - Alicent interrupted her mid-sentence. - Aemond is sleeping, I gave him some soup and medicine. You can rest assured.
-Are you sure Mrs. Targaryen?
-Absolute. - Alicent's voice left no room for disagreement, and after saying goodbye she hung up her cell phone, even more irritated if possible.
According to Oto told Alicent, Floris Baratheon's importance to Aemond was almost immeasurable if he even wanted to have a chance of succeeding Viserys as CEO of Targaryen Inc. one day. Using the possibility of uniting the two large companies would be a huge advantage over Rhaenyra since she had married and had children with Harwin Strong.
For Alicent, this wasn't as important as making her son forget about Y/n. Her main objective with this relationship was to make Aemond stop thinking about his cousin and not wanting to return to her. He was very reluctant when introduced to Floris, and only agreed to take the initiative when Oto told him it would be great for business.
But Alicent didn't see him talk about her, she didn't see him approach her, she hadn't even seen her son touch the girl for more than a minute. And she knew who was to blame for all this, even if she was miles away.
And now Y/n had been back for less than 24 hours and Aemond had disappeared from the map. Which made Alicent think the worst, her dear son could once again be involved in sinful acts with that little snake.
And after dozens of unanswered calls, an idea flashed through Alicent's head and she quickly dialed the number of the maid who cleaned Aemond and Aegon's apartment.
-Good morning Mrs. Dancil, is my son at his apartment? - She spoke in a sweet voice, but her tone quickly soured when she heard the woman saying that Aemond didn't let her pass the doorstep in the morning.
-He was alone? - She asked in an extremely irritated voice.
-I don't know ma'am, but from what I saw he had just gotten out of the shower.
Alicent hung up the phone without asking any more questions. For the seven, she would like to understand why all her children wanted to destroy their own lives before the gods and before society. Even her sweet and dear Aemond associating with that family destroyer.
❦❦❦
The sun was high outside and entering the room strongly, with everything that had happened Aemond even thought about closing the curtains. The phone's annoying vibration woke him from his deep sleep, and the sunlight made him wake up for good. He reached down and pulled his phone out of his pants pocket and read the name on the display.
Mom.
-mmnn. - Aemond just muttered and turned off the cell phone, throwing it on the carpet, once again lost among the discarded clothes.
When he turned to the side he could see her, naked and tangled between the sheets, her hair falling wildly over her face and shoulders, the skin on her neck with bruises forming, her cheeks still red from the slap he had delivered. She still looked so beautiful sleeping, and Aemond knew he would never see a more beautiful sight in his life than that.
He knew he shouldn't be doing this, that it was wrong and the two of them shouldn't be together. And the night before Aemond had tried to resist, he really had, but it was impossible. It was one thing for her to be miles away in Old Town, it was another for her in front of him to speak in that melodious voice while she rubbed her own body against his.
And he had missed her so much, missed the moments when he could open his eyes and find her naked body next to his. And with his eyes still full of longing, Aemond took his hand to her waist, leaving soft caresses with his fingertips, going up and down from her hips to the curve of her breasts, outlining her curves with softness and adoration.
Now away from the frenzy of pleasure he paid more attention to the necklace around Y/n's neck. She continued to wear it, even after years, Aemond ran his fingers gently over the pendant, sighing at the memories that came back. Y/n's 16th birthday, the day he gave her that necklace. The day she gave herself completely to him. Aemond could never forget that moment and what he felt that night.
-Aem? - Her sleepy voice came, making him shiver.
-Hey. - He replied with his voice still hoarse from sleep, making Y/n stretch.
She raised her arms, stretching her muscles sore after the previous night, not even bothering to cover herself from Aemond's eyes. He had seen everything there was to see in her so many times, he had no reason to hide anymore.
-Still using it. - He said looking at the pendant between her breasts.
-I never took it off. - Y/n shrugged her shoulders as she took the pendant between her fingers. -It always brought me good memories.
She looked him in the eyes and Aemond felt himself shudder as he grabbed the back of her head and placed a wet kiss on his cousin's lips. Little by little he pulled her more and more into his own lap until Y/n was straddling him while they both kissed each other deeper and deeper, to the point where they almost lost their breath.
Aemond caressed every part of her body he could get his hands on. He touched everything that belonged to him. Squeezing and caressing her soft thighs and ass, going up her waist and squeezing her full breasts, only to then move his hands up to her neck and hair. It was as if Y/n would disappear at any moment, as if she were a fever dream that he needed to enjoy as much as possible before it ended.
Y/n was the same way, it was as if Aemond was water and she had been dying of thirst for a long time. She kissed him and caressed him back with the same desire and the same hunger for affection, running her fingers around her thin waist, caressing his chest, sighing with contentment when she could finally feel him against her again. Running her nails lightly down his back just like she knew he liked, and then tangling her fingers between the long strands of silver hair.
Both were drowning in each other. There was nothing else in the world at that moment, there was no family, responsibilities, scandal, companies, rumors or names to protect. Just them and the overwhelming desire they had for each other.
Aemond gently got up from the bed as he held her tightly against himself and walked towards the bathroom.
-Shower or bathtub? - Aemond spoke against her hair.
-Bathtub. - She sighed against his neck, and Aemond placed her delicately on the bathroom counter to fill the bathtub with hot water. A
After it was almost full he helped Y/n get in and sat behind her hugging her and caressing her belly, waist and breasts.
He slowly wet her hair calmly and gently, as if her hair were strands of the most precious silk, and then slowly washed it. Y/n closed her eyes in contentment, his hands against her skin and scalp, the smell of his shampoo all over the air intoxicating her.
Aemond rinsed her hair, washing away all the foam and leaving a soft kiss on the top of her head as he sighed as he smelled his own scent now completely attached to her. Y/n turned to face him and with a mischievous and sweet smile at the same time, she gently wet Aemond's hair as he closed his eyes.
She then did the same to him, but looking him in the eyes while she did it. She washed and massaged Aemond's hair with affection and devotion, caressing the locks with all the love she could while she felt herself being consumed by his gaze. Aemond felt softened, and knew that if he hadn't been sitting down he would probably fall to the floor at that moment, her soft caresses that he had missed so much leaving him floored. Y/n smiled as she rinsed his hair, feeling the soft, damp strands against her own hand.
Aemond and Y/n bathed each other with care and gentleness. As if one and the other were made of the finest and most delicate porcelain and would break at the slightest hard touch. Their fingers soaped and rinsed each other's skin, hungry for touch, hungry for affection.
And when Aemond touched Y/n in her intimacy she sighed and fell onto his chest in anticipation. He caressed her even more gently in that area, he could feel her wetness against his own fingers, he could feel how much she wanted him. The sweet and soft noises she made made his mind spin, and with a gentle thrust he entered Y/n's interior with his own cock already hard and throbbing for her.
Y/n held onto his shoulders with her head buried in the hollow of Aemond's neck, her eyes firmly pressed as she felt him inside her once again. And taking a deep breath, she moved over him, making some of the water come out of the tub, but neither of them cared. Her movements were firm and slow while Aemond held her tightly around her waist and hips, throwing her head back in ecstasy.
The two exchanged sweet, soft kisses as they moved against each other full of longing, holding each other tightly as they lost themselves in the frenzy. As the waves of pleasure passed through the body, both movements became stronger. Y/n held him tighter, just as Aemond held her, and they both looked into each other's eyes as they panted and moaned in sweet pleasure and contentment.
Y/n came first, shuddering over Aemond as she felt a wave of pleasure cross her own body and leave all her nerve endings out of control as she collapsed onto Aemond, who came soon after, feeling her cum against his cock, pressing his eyes tightly and pulling her even closer to him in a hot, breathless hug.
The two stayed there, just hugging each other, with Aemond still inside her, both missing each other, wanting to be close to each other for as long as possible, without any barrier separating them.
The water was already cold when the two got up from the tub and walked towards the bedroom again. Aemond dried Y/n's body, admiring every little detail of her, memorizing again every spot, every mark, every line.
Y/n showed off to him without any shame, feeling comfortable under her cousin's watchful and hungry gaze like she didn't feel anywhere else in the world.
And Aemond pulled her towards him again, hugging her tightly to the point that they both felt each other's hearts beating against their chests. He caressed the sides of her body with adoration, as if he needed to make sure it was all real. And when the two let go of the hug, Aemond returned to staring at her body with that same look that was a mixture of love, passion and hunger.
-As much as I love being admired by you, I'm going to need some clothes. - She said, smiling and caressing Aemond's neck with her fingertips.
-I prefer you naked. - He smiled mischievously at her who just kissed his neck.
Aemond gave Y/n a white shirt and watched with a slight smile as she got dressed, then he put on just a pair of black sweatpants and went towards her again.
-Let's eat something? - He asked smiling at Y/n who agreed instantly with a smile.
-I haven't eaten anything since before the party. - She then extended her arms to Aemond with a pout. - My legs are weak, can you carry me?
Aemond just rolled his eyes before picking her up in his arms and lifting her off the ground with ease while Y/n wrapped her legs around his waist.
When he arrived in the kitchen, he placed her on the counter and after a quick kiss on the lips, he went towards the refrigerator, but was interrupted by the incessant ringing of his own cell phone in the room.
-Just give me a minute. - He sighed to Y/n heading towards the bedroom, returning shortly after with his cell phone in one hand and Y/n's silver heels in the other. Aemond smiled and raised his eyebrows as he placed her shoes and his, which had been thrown haphazardly around the room, together on a sideboard near the door.
-Still with an obsession for organization? - She asked, pouting, mocking him.
-Ever. - Aemond approached the counter and bit her lip as he responded, making her sigh.
He looked down at his cell phone and saw hundreds of messages and missed calls, and after that it didn't take long for the doorbell to ring and Aemond looked at the door in confusion, only to remember that the cleaning lady was coming that day.
-Shit. - He went towards the door still wearing only his sweatpants and with his damp hair falling over his shoulders.
-Good morning Mr. Targaryen. - The woman spoke as she was already entering, but Aemond stopped her from going through the door.
-Your services will not be needed today, Mrs. Dancil. - Aemond spoke in a serious voice and before the woman asked questions he continued speaking. - You can take the day off, or clean Aegon's house, whatever you think is best. The woman stared at him blankly as she tried to discreetly look into the apartment through Aemond, and then left without asking any more questions.
After telling the maid to leave, Aemond called the concierge.
-I'm not for anyone today. If anyone asks, tell them that I left for now and haven't come back yet.
Y/n watched him still sitting on the kitchen counter with her legs crossed, biting her lower lip slightly, while Aemond made another call.
-Good morning Mrs. Mayotte. - Aemond spoke in a polite voice. - Reschedule all my appointments today. Reschedule lunch with the supplier, I don't mind. Put the paperwork on Aegon's desk and say that I told him to stop being lazy and work like everyone else. You can say with these words, I guarantee your job. If anyone looks for me, tell them they don't know my whereabouts. - He hung up the phone and threw it onto the living room armchair.
-I enjoyed hearing your business voice. - She said, swinging her legs in the air, jumping off the counter and walking towards Aemond. - You'll have to talk to me like that later.
Aemond rolled his eyes and pulled her towards him by the waist, placing a tender kiss on her lips.
-I'm all yours for the rest of the day. - He murmured against her lips.
-You are always all my Aemond. -She whispered back with a smile as she slowly brushed her own lips against his.
❦❦❦
After exchanging soft kisses, Aemond and Y/n prepared potato rosti, their favorite food throughout their lives.
-You're doing it wrong Aem. You definitely don't add that amount of onion. - Y/n complained, pulling the knife from his hand.
-And since when did you become a culinary expert? - He raised his eyebrows as he looked at her, pouting.
-Since your parents left me five years ago in a conservatory in Old Town. - She rolled her eyes and left a kiss on his chin. - The septas force us to work. Did you know that?
-It must have been horrible. - Aemond mocked.
-ha, ha, ha, you're hilarious. -Y/n faked a laugh while pouring water into the potato pot. - You wouldn't survive two days in that conservatory, Aemond.
-And why not? - He arched his eyebrows in offense as he put the things he wouldn't need back in the fridge.
-Because you, my dear cousin, are the devil. You don't know how to exchange two words with anyone without ironizing the person in the exact way you are doing now. - She said, looking at him with her hand on her hip. - You would live trapped in some punishment.
-And what did you do? - He looked her up and down as he asked. - Since in my experience you are no angel.
-I pretended to obey. I did what they told me. The conservatory isn't that bad after all, I learned a lot of cool things and the teaching program is really good. - She spoke in a monotonous voice while stirring the pot looking away and Aemond realized that she wasn't comfortable talking about the conservatory at that moment.
-But? - Aemond asked, approaching and holding her by the waist, bringing her towards him.
-Don't be cocky. - Y/n rolled her eyes more comfortably while biting Aemond's lower lip and pulling it lightly with her teeth.
-I didn't say anything. - His ironic look said it all.
-I really missed you. - She confessed, looking at him in that way that made Aemond's heart hurt. - Not just having sex, of everything. Being able to talk and stay by your side. You're my best friend Aem, it was horrible being without you.
-I missed you too. - He said putting a lock of her hair back. - Every day.
Suddenly Y/n's gaze changed and when she looked at Aemond again the heat was gone, and now pure anger burned in its place. With the memory of why she went to Cercei Lanister's party.
-Well it wasn't what it seemed since according to all the gossip magazines in the city you should announce your engagement at any moment. - Y/n's voice was hateful when she said that, as if the words were bitter in her mouth.
-What? No! - Aemond opened his eyes wide in shock. - Me and Floris are definitely not getting engaged.
-So there is a you and Floris? - She arched her eyebrows ironically.
-Y/n I don't like Floris, my grandfather and her father think that uniting us could be good for business… - Aemond held her by the shoulders while he said this, as if he was afraid that she would evaporate into thin air, or run away .
-I know you don't like her because you love me. -Y/n's eyes burned with anger as she spoke as she pointed at herself. - But Aemond, if you let that bitch touch you…
-Y/n.. - Aemond started to speak but was immediately interrupted.
-And don't you dare lie to me! - She practically growled. - If you let her put her hands on you I will never let you touch my body again and I will kill that bitch and I will feel pleasure from it. -She held Aemond by the shoulders and looked him in the eyes as she spoke, and he could see the jealousy burning through the surface.
-You know I would never let someone else touch me. - Aemond hissed offended, as if the mere idea of being touched by someone other than Y/n disgusted him. - We promised this to each other.
-I told you yesterday that I haven't slept with anyone else since you left! -Aemond placed his palms against the sides of her face as he spoke, looking into her eyes.
-No, you didn't say it! - Y/n moved a few centimeters away from him and the irritation in her voice was palpable.
-I think the fact that I came inside you in less than ten minutes in a coat closet in the middle of a party says a lot about it. - Aemond rolled his eyes and threw his head back in annoyance.
-Do you swear? - She questioned him, looking at him with that needy look that made Aemond want to move all the mountains in the world for her, and hypnotized, he approached her again before answering her. - You swear you didn’t touch her the way you touch me?
-With all my heart. - He said, carefully stroking her hair. - I was only with you, just as we promised that night.
-I'm sorry for acting crazy. - She sighed looking at her own bare feet. - But just thinking that that bitch could have put her hands on you makes me…
-I am yours. - Aemond interrupted her by placing her hand over his heart. - Only yours.
-That's just business and company stuff. My mother and grandfather think that if I marry Floris Baratheon I can be chosen as CEO in Rhaenyra's place in the future.
-Marry? - Y/n asked in disbelief and Aemond could see her eyes suddenly shine with tears. - This is what you want? - She asked, looking into his eyes, trying to get away from him again and Aemond could see the feeling of betrayal in her eyes. - Marry Floris Baratheon and become CEO?
-No! - He denied it immediately as he pulled her back towards him, surprising even himself for not caring about anything else other than making her believe him. - I want you, Y/n, only you.
– Do you swear? - She asked, but now with an irritated voice.
-I swear! - He growled against her face without excitement.
-Then end this lie, because I won't share you! - Y/n practically growled as she held Aemond's face tightly between her hands. - She's the other one and not me, she was the one who arrived later trying to steal you from me.
Aemond agreed and kissed her on the lips, he could feel the possessiveness in her kiss, the way she pulled his hair and bit his lips, pulling him more and more towards her, as if she was hungry, as if she needed to prove that he was of hers.
-Give me a week to resolve everything. - He said breathlessly with his forehead touching hers after breaking the kiss. - I promise you that within a week I will get rid of it.
-You're lucky that I love you. - She rolled her eyes and left a kiss on his chin.
After the discussion, the two decided not to talk about Floris Baratheon anymore that day, and after eating they went towards the living room and lay down together on the biggest sofa. The familiarity of it all made Aemond feel like Y/n had left for Old Town five days ago and not five years ago. At that moment nothing mattered to him, the only thing that existed was him and Y/n, how good it was to be by her side and how he wanted to stay that way forever.
-I haven't eaten this since you left. - He said, stroking Y/n's hair gently, and she just smiled and looked at him through her eyelashes, but now in a really innocent way, just love in her eyes. - It felt wrong without you here.
Y/n caressed Aemond's face and ran her hand down the long strands of hair that were now loose.
-You didn't finish telling me how things are here yesterday. - She said caressing his face. - How is Helaena? I wish I had seen her yesterday.
-She has a huge project to save the turtles in Black Water Bay. - He spoke affectionately. - Our father decided to finance it, and now no one can bring disposable objects to the beach anymore. Apart from all the supervision of the beach during breeding periods.
-That's totally like Hel. - Y/n smiled as she imagined her cousin making her dreams of caring for endangered animals come true.
-Speaking of reproduction. - Aemond said, turning to face her and Y/n smiled mischievously. - Were you serious or not last night?
-I was just teasing you. - She rolled her eyes playfully, making herself better comfortable in his lap. - I know you get all crazy and possessive about this pregnancy thing, and I like it when you get like that, I missed it. - Y/n murmured rubbing her lips against his neck.
Aemond felt a mix of relief and disappointment, he knew she was probably joking, but the idea of having a part of him and her mixed together forever made his insides vibrate with joy.
-I want to have a child with you. - He said looking into her eyes and giving her a soft kiss on the lips - You know that.
-Yes, you've been saying that since we were 16 years old. - She smiled melancholic with some memories while steadied herself on his shoulders, looking deeply into his eyes. - I will give you a son, as soon as you marry me as we agreed.
-We're getting married. I promise you. - He said, squeezing her hips and smiling, that same look of pure adoration that he always had when he looked at her making Y/n's heart melt. - Nothing changed.
-I believe in you. - She kissed him softly. - And speaking of children, how is JaeJae?
-Aegon takes him to work almost every day. - Aemond rolled his eyes, laughing. - To be honest, his secretary has more work to do with Jaehaerys than with paperwork.
-He must have grown so much. - She said, leaning her head on Aemond's chest and smiling, remembering her younger cousin.
-Last week I went to get a report from Aegon's desk and he was sleeping on the couch while Jaehaerys made paper airplanes with the pages of the reports and threw them around the room. - Aemond grumbled, laughing lightly while stroking Y/n's hair.
It was a scandal when Aegon impregnated a model three years older when he was 17. Alicent almost died upon receiving the news, and then almost killed Aegon. Y/n got chills just remembering that day, Aegon running around the house with Alicent behind him throwing things and slapping wherever he could reach.
-How is your mother's mood about this? - Y/n's voice suddenly became slightly tense.
-Oddly enough, she's not so mad anymore. She only hits Aegon twice a week now, if he reduces the amount of alcohol he consumes it could be as much as one slap every Friday. - Aemond tried to lighten the mood by talking about Alicent as he felt Y/n's body become rigid with the subject.
Y/n couldn't help but laugh, her aunt always scared her a little by being very strict, but nothing too serious until that terrible night five years ago. Before that, she was too focused on Aegon to fight too much with her, Aemond, Helaena or Daeron.
-What about Daeron?
-She's still in denial, but she stopped threatening to send him to Old Town with you.
Y/n rolled her eyes, Daeron was gay and Alicent was a crazy, controlling mother who followed the faith of the seven diligently. A combination that would hardly go well.
-First of all, this is archaic, secondly, why was I the only one who ended up in old town? - She looked at him indignantly, making Aemond laugh. - You fucked me, Daeron is Gay, Aegon is Aegon. Why was I the only one who ended up in Old town? That's not fair!
-My mother got it into her head that you are a poisonous viper sent by your father to destroy her children. - Aemond said while looking at the ceiling.
-Why is everything that goes wrong in this family always blamed on my father? -Y/n questioned indignantly, but she couldn't help but feel a pang of pain knowing that was what her aunt thought of her.
-Because your father is your father. He's completely crazy, you can blame hundreds of things on him if you try hard enough. - Aemond stated, rubbing his nose against her neck as he smelled his own scent mixed with hers.
-And Rhaenyra? - Y/n changed her focus when remembering her cousin.
-If we are going to talk about my older sister I will need to call a family therapist. - He spoke in a monotonous voice against her neck and Y/n laughed in a nasal way.
-Rhaenyra isn't that bad. She would bring chocolate every time she came to visit. - Y/n smiled at the memory, the expensive chocolates that her old cousinbrought always caused fights between her and the other cousins, everyone always wanted to choose first, but she and Aemond always shared theirs. And like a frenzy, Y/n's eyes lit up with an idea.
-Let's have hot cocoa. - She said suddenly excited and Aemond arched his eyebrow looking at the radiant summer sun that came through the window.
-It must be about 30 degrees outside.
Y/n rolled her eyes as she got up and walked towards the thermostat, lowering the air conditioning temperature even further, making Aemond laugh slightly as he laid his head on the back of the sofa.
-Okay, now we will have a pleasant 15° degrees of autumn for a hot cocoa. - She smiled at him, already going towards the kitchen to prepare the hot chocolate while Aemond went towards the bedroom without warning.
When Y/n lifted her head again she saw in his hands a worn navy blue blanket with silver embroidery and couldn't help but give a bright smile as she felt his eyes handling it.
-I can't believe you kept that.
-It's the hot cocoa blanket. - Aemond shrugged smiling and Y/n kissed his cheek as she was flooded with memories. Shortly after Y/n moved in with her aunt and uncle, they went to Driftmark for a weekend to visit Rhaenys, the place was beautiful, but it was cold like Y/n had never felt before. Y/n always thought Rhaenys looked like a hawk, had a smart look and didn't miss anything, but after that weekend she discovered that the woman could be very sweet and affectionate too.
Especially when she covered Y/n and Aemond with that same blanket and made two large cups of hot chocolate for them. And when they left she said they could take the blanket since it was very cold and they both liked it so much.
From then on, the two always drank hot cocoa together when the weather got cold, and they always did it under that blanket that was now old and worn out.
After the chocolate was ready the two sat back down on the sofa covering themselves while they enjoyed the hot drink and smiled at each other, both exchanged soft and warm kisses while caressing each other affectionately.
-I missed you. - Aemond whispered while rubbing his nose against hers, warming Y/n's heart, after they both finished the chocolate.
-I'm never leaving again. - She promised rubbing his nose back. - I promise.
The two were snuggled under the blanket, with Y/n still on top of Aemond as he slowly stroked her scalp as he knew it made her soften.
-How it was? - Aemond finally gained enough courage to ask in a melancholy voice, but almost in a whisper. - Your time in Old town? Do you want to talk about it?
-I hope I never have to go back there again. - She sighed, placing her hand on Aemond's chest. - I learned a lot of things at the conservatory, the teaching schedule there is incredible. - She spoke as if she needed to justify this part so it wouldn't seem so bad.
-But the rest was terrible, we are not allowed to access the Internet in the conservatory, so no chance of any attempt to contact us. -Her voice sounded sad as she played with her fingers looking down. - No movies or series. And books only those pre-approved by the septas.
Aemond arched his eyebrow, sighing and pulling her closer to him. Y/n always loved watching TV more than anyone he knew, to the point where he knew the programming of his favorite channels by heart when they were younger.
-The diet was also very restricted, only healthy foods from a menu prepared by a nutritionist and pre-approved by the septas. No cookies, chocolates, soda and things like that. - She continued speaking and Aemond felt his heart ache when he saw y/n with her shoulders slumped and a sad look on her face.
-I really missed chocolate. - She gave a slight smile, but still with a sad look.
-We'll buy all the chocolate you want as soon as we leave the house. -He spoke seriously, looking at her, making Y/n smile softly as she laid her head again on his chest.
-There are so many rules that I think in five years I haven't memorized them all. - She rolled her eyes. - In the first few days I fought back, didn't obey and thought I was going to get out of there. But it got easier when I just started pretending to obey. - Y/n sighed against Aemond's chest, hugging him. -At least they didn't give me excessive work as punishment anymore.
-They wanted me to stay, take the oaths and become a septa. - Y/n lifted her head from Aemond's chest and looked into his eyes. - But I could never do such a thing. Not when I thought about you every day and the moment when I would be of age and could return.
He gently pulled her by the back of her head, tangling his fingers in her hair and kissed her with love and sweetness letting out a sigh when they separated.
Aemond's heart hurt hearing Y/n say all those things, knowing what she had to endure to be there again, his beautiful girl deserved much more than being trapped in a place like that. And Aemond promised himself that he would never let anyone take her away from him again.
-There wasn't a day that went by that my heart didn't burn and cry out for your presence. - He stroked her cheeks lovingly using his fingertips. - You are like a sparkle of love and joy in my life.
The smile that appeared on Y/n's lips when she heard him say those words almost took his breath away, and he knew that no one would ever make him feel that same feeling.
Y/n was like a vice for Aemond. And away from the exhibition he managed, at least for a while, to pretend to everyone around him that he wasn't completely and utterly addicted to it. And now entangled with his cousin again, he knew there would be no second chance. His body and mind had already been exposed again, and he was too high on her to make any decision other than being together forever.
He had made his choice when he took her home again and ran away from all obligations just to be there, with her body pressed against his, and Aemond knew that this time he would be strong enough, he wouldn't let anyone separate them.
next chapter
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