#yes i do fully have which characters do and dont go to therapy after the events of 06 thought out

[eldritchmochi]

b m u y ! letter ask game

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

i fully blame seize and gem for getting me on the shadowidomauk train, regardless of the teif personality. seize especially has me in a chokehold re: their lucien and essek combo in one of their fics, which i have not read nor do i even know if its been posted but they keep sending me snippets like MOCHI YOU WILL LOVE THIS IT HAS ALL* YOUR KINKS and by dog they're right (*it is not actually "all" this is impossible as i have Too Many Kinks but)

also gem's essek-owns-a-boujie-coffee-shop au that has shadowidomauk as end game is cute as shit im sorry gem that i haven't had the spoons to edit more (its so good aaa)

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

i answered M with "ashton" over here in this post the other day but another character i would want to be friends withhhhhhhh hmmm lets say asterion. no i have not played the game but from the lore i have absorbed via cherry he is very much the kind of gay i would have fun having catty gossip with while also being the sort of rock for him to lean on and like..... not therapy him i hate being peoples therapist but the immovable object he can bounce trauma off and figure out How 2 People again. i think he would appreciate my bluntness and the way i set clear, explicit boundaries but am otherwise unflappable, and i would certainly appreciate his humour, and we can bond!! over the whole being ace as a result of trauma!! :D

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

answered U over here with ashton, kylo, and bucky over here but lets do it again!!

lets kick it off by going Old School with the Original Husbando ^TM: vash the stampede. you have no idea how jazzed i am about the new trigun anime (no i have not watched it i merely enjoy the smut on twitter) because vash is like, my og blorbo. did i have blorbos before? yes, kind of, but my Wants in a man* (*fictional character) had not yet developed so they were but proto-blorbos. vash tho... he has it all: tall pretty boy happy go lucky twink who is secretly Full Of Trauma but shoves it down super hard by being just so upbeat and goofy, and just really wants..... love and peace lmao. a lot of my blorbos historically have similar vibes in the "puts on an act to cover deep severe trauma" way lmao

next up: more anime i guess, but modern: i honestly super fucking love all might???? like SO MUCH he is such an interesting character and i desperately want to read fic of him grappling with his severe health issues alongside his image as a hero AND his mentoring of midoriya (preferably with that guud guud smut, but i have no clue who i'd ship him with, i only got two seasons in lmao). unfortunately, everything i like about him isnt even in cannon its just stuff that i, a cripple, can extrapolate from the worldbuilding and lil snippets we get of him but MAN i am o b s e s s e d

third!!! more comics: loki, specifically the agents of asgard loki. i am 100000% planning to cosplay that loki (i have the hair after all) and i am very excited because he is just so very Gender. it was the first time i saw a genderfluid character in mainstream media and his "i AM gender queer, i IDENTIFY as a bitch" like is something i quote constantly to describe my gender. also hes just such a dick who is obviously trying to do better and unlearn bad habits and god, i dont remember specifically what its about but he has a big fight with his earthside contact roommate buddy helper person over something and then comes crawling back and does this big speech where he talks about how he knows hes a fuck up but he's trying and he values her friendship so much even if he's been shit about showing it and it is chefs kiss

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)?

dragon age. just... i know so much vague dragon age lore from listening to cherry talk about it because it is their BIG love for video games (pending bg3..... not sure if itll overtake da but theyre very sad they cannot play it again til monday lmao). i absolutely instigated a convo with someone on okc asking if xyz thing was a da reference and i was rIGHT it secured me a date lmao

similarly, mass effect, batfam stuff, haunted mansion, nbc hannibal (dont ask me why its a fandom in law still i cannot explain), s8 infinity (???? i only know matcha blossom), the final fantasy mmo, taz......

you can ask me more of these letter questions!! i have much time to spare!! maybe!!!

[tigerbears]

Going to leave my two cents as an UT Azzy-Flowey fangirl.

Now, yah I'm in the camp which believes "Flowey being soulless does not = Flowey being evil"... Because Flowey did not immediately go straight to murdering after becoming a Flower.

It was only after countless resets of doing pacifist runs/messing around that he even considered doing so... and I personally think the only reason he went through with them was at first he thought "oh it does not matter because I can just reset and everyone will be alive again!"

However, I do think Asriel/Flowey would be doing better mentally if he had a soul and could once again feel love/compassion.

Reason: Flowey giving his backstory in the no mercy route really solidifies that losing his soul+the ability to love his own family was really distressing to Flowey. He said himself that all he wanted to do was love/care about someone. (CW/TW for references to a canon suicide attempt)

In fact, the thought of living the rest of his life unable to love or care about anyone was so distressing he attempted suicide over it. Sure, he still changed his mind at the last second and saved himself with a reset, but he at first would rather be dead then live in a world without love.

This is kind of why my headcanons for Flowey post pacifist dont really bode well for him mentally. I mean, I think it's pretty clear that Asriel very much did not want to become Flowey again, especially seeing as he's trying to draw a line between himself and Flowey even though their the same characters.

Even though I believe that a post-pacifist Flowey would be harmless/not evil, I fully believe that Flowey himself would believe he was evil, and that his very existence was a danger for everyone as he could relapse back into his "murder evil murder" ways.

(Which is why I headcanon his behavior in the alarm clock app as an attempt to convince Frisk that he's truely heartless and that the best thing they could do is just leave him in the underground where he cant hurt anyone. Yes I love my flower boy going through some angst)

Bloody gaining back a conscience and being horrified that you hurt so many people that you cared about is bloody going to leave an impact.

This is why I headcanon Flowey becoming Asriel again, or at least regaining a soul and the ability to love/care about people... Because when Asriel became Flowey, all he wanted was to be able to love and care about people.

Asriel may have regained the ability to love and care about people, but he knew fully well that he had to give that up for the betterment of monster kind, and that must have felt terrible for him.

Like sure, would a "hypothetically saved Asriel" still be deeply, deeply traumatized, and likely will never be the same again... yes...

but that does not mean he doesn't deserve a happy ending where he's able to care about people again. I just want Azzy to be reunited with his family and start his long journey healing from his trauma with all of his friends/family/therapy...

You can also guess I'm not a fan of the headcanons that say "oh losing a soul didn't take away his love/compassion. he only thinks that when his symptoms are actually a result of PTSD." Like, sure some of Flowey's actions could be explained by his trauma. However, I dont like hand waving away Flowey's soulless situation with "oh it's just psychological trauma" because to me, Flowey's inability to love/care about people + what Flowey would later do is more trauma... not the consequences of past trauma. Anyway, sorry for rambling. Just have strong feelings about this flower child who use to be a goat child...

(And yes this is just me spewing out ideas for my post pacifist fic I'll write when I actually become good at writing)

1,000,000 pages about why Mad Mew Mew's character arc and development is one of the best things in undertale

100,000,000 pages about why Flowey doesn't need to become Asriel again to heal/do good (cough cough undertale fandom Im looking at you)

100,000,000,000++ pages about why Toby should totally give us a Deltarune chapter with Mettaton, Mad Mew Mew and Napstablook. (It would be very interesting for character arc and development and tbh I just want to see more of them they're my favs)

[trashcreatyre]

I feel like its important for you all to know that in the moth and flame (post 06 au) Elise manages to get mephiles to go to therapy exactly once and then never again

[habaritess]

I feel like we're watching different shows. the only episode I felt like it wasn't sam centric was the 3rd one and that I can comprehend because at the end of the day there are two people in the title but the other 3 have definitely been sam centric. he's the one who's gotten more screen time, I agree that we need to see him showing other emotions but also in the last episode we saw him getting angry. I must say I dont agree with the last paragraph,almost everyone of us loved that talk with karli

Let me explain what I mean by good character development. As of now, we have not gotten good character development from Sam. I’ll do that by comparing him to Bucky and Walker.

Bucky is a man who is in the midst of healing from his traumatic past as the Winter Soldier. He does so by doing both healthy(therapy) and potentially unhealthy methods( befriending the father of the son he killed to applease his guilt). He decides to go with Sam on his mission and while doing so, he has to confront more of his demons in the form of Zemo. In order to fool the crowd, Bucky had to pretend to be the Winter Soldier and while doing so, potentially ruining some of the progress he has made over the years. As the mission goes on, Bucky completely abandons the list of rules he must abey by, and he ends up seriously harming and possibly killing some of the people he is fighting. 

Walker is introduced as an experience soldier who has been given the title of Captain America, something he takes seriously and wants to live up to in any way he can. While following Sam and Bucky, he becomes exposed to people he has never dealt with before, which are people with super human abilities. His weakness against these super soldiers becomes a sore spot for Walker because as much as he wants to be the hero, he can not go toe to toe with these super soldiers. This new insecurity and the former avengers disregard of him, causes him to become more quick to anger and act more irrationally. Walker gets hold of a serum and sees the potential to become someone like the original Captain America, someone who is capable. He chooses to take the serum after fighting against the superior but still fully human, Dora Milaje. Walker physical weakness, to him, goes against what a Captain America should be. To Walker, Captain America is the kind of hero who can face any challenge and save lives, and he cant save lives if he cant go against the best human fighters. After taking the serum and being confronted with the death of his best friend, Walker allows his insecurities and anger to overtake him and kill a pleading man in broad daylight..

Sam Wilson choses to give up the shield up due to his own conflicting feelings on America and what the shield represents. He is sent out on another dangerous mission and during this mission, he teams up with Bucky. Sam fights the bad guys who are super soldiers. Bucky decides to help break out Zemo, which Sam begrudgingly goes along with it. Sam is there as support, keeps Bucky under control, and tries to solve the conflict without violence. Now what the difference with Sam and Bucky and Walker? Sam, as of now, hasn’t had any development. He hasn’t had any development because he has not had to face anything that actually challenges him. Yes, Sam is put on another dangerous mission, but that isn’t anything new for Sam. Even if you just watch TFAWT and not the pervious movies, in the beginning it shows Sam on a dangerous mission as he tries to rescue some men from terrorists. There isn’t anything about this new mission that is made to specifically challenge Sam. It difficult as any of his past missions, but it not personally difficult. We see the same Sam that we saw on episode one and guys, that is REALLY problematic. 

Note how Bucky not only had to confront Zemo, but he also had to pretend to be the winter soldier, confront the traumas of his past, and anger the very people who helped him out of this state by releasing Zemo, and potentially severing ties with the people who had his back. Note how these were all very personally challenging for Bucky and see how as the story progresses, Bucky evolves with it. Walker is faced with becoming the new captain america, fighting an enemy that is far beyond normal human capabilities for the first time, and dealing with the insecurities that come with his unfamiliar helplessness in this situation. What exactly has Sam been challenge with? Sam has been able to skirt any development because everything is familiar to him already. Dangerous gunfights and battles, yep, Sam been involve in it. Sam uses his skills as a veteran therapist to calm down Bucky and hopefully lead Karli to a more humane way to voice her grievances. What has specifically challenge Sam throughout this storyline? Nothing has, as of yet. This is why Sam is falling flat to me( and a lot of other people too if you pay attention to who people are actually talking about when it comes to this series). This shouldn’t be for the titled character. This is how you get a boring character. 

Bucky actions have reactions. He deals with the consequences and he is growing as a result. He is moving the story along and progressing along with it. Bucky is the main character. He has progressed well in all four episodes. Sam has only had 2 good episodes, than he been stagnant for the rest. It was Bucky who decided to break out Zemo on episode 3. it is Bucky who had to confront his demons on episode 3. Sam used his awesome social skills to calm Bucky down and made a promised to Sharon, but nothing happened in episode 3 that actually challenged his character. In episode 4, Sam does what he usually does. He talks to Karli. Yeah, that's good and all, but it still not a challenge for his character. It is more of the same. If Sam doesn't face anything that actually challenges him personally, than he will continue to remain a one note side kick character like in the previous movies.

Just because a character has a personality, does not make them a developed character. Imagine the Lord of the Rings, but Frodo doesn’t go through anything challenging at all and he stays the same person from the start of the series, to the end. Imagine a Harry Potter where it just Harry going to Hogwarts with nothing happening at all, and Harry is the exact same person from the start of the year to the last. That is Sam right now. That is so many fictional black characters actually. They can make a black character with personality but when it comes to good character development, all of sudden they don’t know how to do it. 

As far as his talk with Karlie, I’m just going to agree to disagree. The girl is a terrorist who blew up a building full of people. Why try to negotiate when the only future for her legally would be behind a jail cell? I would agree with you if she hadn’t of killed people, but she did. What, was Sam going to let her go if she chose to go a different path? It doesn’t make sense narratively speaking. Karlie has already reached the point of no return by killing people, so why would she be open to talking it out?

[ashesdeuxashes]

me venting about my own personal shit and dabi shit below the cut, tw: child abuse, spoilers, whatever I'm just really upset and really needed a space to let it out

look I get it. people dont like villains. dabi has killed people - innocent people? well, he said so himself, and while I personally am not sure how much I believe he was being fully honest with that, that's not the fucking point.

the point is that Dabi - Touya Todoroki - was abused

no "well he (Enji) was doing it to protect him", no "he(Touya) reacted irrationally".

he was a child. he was a fucking child.

children don't fucking know what they're doing, or how the world works. they need to be taught, they need to be nurtured, they need their fucking hand held through a lot, because guess what?

they're fucking children.

Touya was only what, thirteen?? when he 'faked his death' (which I'm not gonna get into right now bc that's not the point)

he was thirteen, and up until that point he spent his entire (ENTIRE) god damn life trying to live up to his father's impossible expectations, only to be told he wasn't good enough, only to then be neglected in favor of Shouto.

Touya, a fucking child, was beginning to ask himself why he existed. he cried every night. Because, up until that point, his entire existence was boiled down to enji training him to be a good little hero that he could live vicariously through. and when Touya wasn't good enough? enji was done with him. he threw his own child to the side because he couldn't use him as his puppet anymore, and found something better.

how the fuck are you going to sit here and tell me that Touya acted irrationally?

he was a child! how else is he supposed to react, when he wasn't taught how to properly harness his quirk without hurting himself? how else is he supposed to react when he's told he's not good enough after thirteen fucking years of trying so, so hard to make his dad proud.

how is a child supposed to react, having grown up in a household where this was a valid form of communication.

how is a child supposed to react, when he feels like his father, who, again, he looked up to, isn't even happy he was born.

to have people sit here and say, to my face, that he was being dramatic. that he was acting irrationally. joking that "boo hoo, daddy didn't love me, so I'm gonna run away and be misogynistic and evil"[sic] (and i'm not even gonna touch on people calling him misogynistic either).

having a child's entire psyche be bent until it snaps is not a fucking joke.

he begs his parents to look at him. he's human. he's a child. children need attention, and affection. a child should never have to beg for it.

Dabi is dramatic and theatrical when he wants to be, yes. I'm not saying he's not. but to say that what he went through wasn't abuse, or to make it a joke about his character "not having depth because he just has daddy issues go be evil about it", or to say his response was irrational is doing a disservice, in my opinion, to him as a character, horikoshi as a writer, and other abuse survivers.

I love Dabi as a character. I agree with what he stands for, for the most part. Barring that, I'm also the oldest son. I also suffered years and years of abuse - physical, emotional. and I did some fucked up things before I went to therapy. I hurt a lot of fucking people. Empathy is still something I sometimes struggle with but I'm trying so fucking hard. I see myself in him in a lot of ways.

but I guess I'm just a guy with funny daddy issues and no depth, haha. right?

fuck you.

[myriadimagines]

End Of The Year Faves 2020!

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 8 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome work!

i was tagged by the lovely @lxncelot & @musicallisto !!!

i’ve only written 10 one shots this year since i stopped taking requests rip. i only ended up picking 5 of them bc i didnt like the rest. also i love talking about the behind the scenes of writing like its just so fun. i literally went through my revision history in my google docs to see how i wrote these akjsdhasjd so literally........... if anyone wants to talk to me about a piece........... just shoot me an ask bc i will gladly tell u all about it

1. Lifetimes (Sebastien le Livre) 

this might be my number one bc it’s the most recent and i havent decided i hate it yet but wrote this as an alternative to therapy lmfaooooooo and it’s been a month but um. it still hurts. but anyway, i started off with the below paragraph:

And Booker has centuries of pain under his belt. Endless years of trauma that he cannot even begin to unpack. But you don’t have centuries. You don’t have lifetimes to reconcile with all the cruelty in the world  —  you just have one, and Booker knows he of all people should know just how much hurt one lifetime can contain.

and just worked around it, bc i was just really obsessed with the concept of having multiple lifetimes and all that, and just the fact that life has so much pain and hurt and it just sucks. i edited the first sentence for the final but otherwise it’s the same. i think i came up with some pretty good lines in this if i do say so myself, and i mentioned it in the a/n, but i intended for it to be longer but didn’t want to push it after i feel like i had written all i wanted to. i just wanted someone to hold me and comfort me clearly. 

2. Cursed Blood (Renfri)

i am obsessed with renfri as a character and her whole story, and the whole concept of her being cursed just felt like something that i really wanted to explore and write about. these were the first lines i wrote for the piece:

But every time you kiss her, you swear that it’s impossible her lips could be poison. Or perhaps you grew so used it, that the poison tasted sweet. 

i ended up editing this a lot for the final version, but a trend in my writing seems to be i always come up with how to end a piece and just work around it. i really enjoyed going into depth into renfri’s character and it kinda felt more like a character study than a reader insert? but eventually i found a way to work the reader in there and i liked where the story went, bc renfri deserves happiness and someone to be there for her.

3. Roadside (Robin Buckley)

still in shock at how many notes this one got and i am forever grateful to everyone who reblogged/left comments!!! this was for lacey’s ( @moonlit-imagines ) writing challenge, and idk why when i saw the prompt i immediately decided to use robin. for this one, i actually started with the beginning, which was the prompt, “Let’s take a walk. Just you and me.”

i mentioned this in the a/n, but i planned it to be a lot more angsty and wasn’t even planning on ending it on a happy note askjdhaksd the original plot i had in mind was that robin and the reader were into each other but were dancing around each other’s feelings. so one night, the reader drunkenly kisses steve at a party to try and make robin jealous, but it ends up just causing a rift between robin and the reader even after they confess their feelings. here is a part i wrote for the original plot before i decided to scrap it and go with the final plot.

“Look, I don’t even care if you and Steve get together.” Robin waves her hand, and you’re not used to seeing such disappointment on your best friend’s face as she lets out a shaky breath. She looks as if she’s struggling to collect herself before she asks, “I just… why did you lie to me?”

“I didn’t.” you desperately blurt, and Robin’s eyebrows furrow. Shaking your head, you take a step towards her as you explain, “I didn’t lie, Robin, I swear. I don’t like Steve. What happened at the party meant nothing—”

Robin scoffs. “Then why—”

“—because I wanted you to see.” you finally confess, and Robin stares at you. You’re shaking, tears welling in your eyes as you continue, “Because I thought I could make you jealous, because I was just too afraid to make a move and wanted you too. And I know that’s silly of me, and I never meant to hurt your feelings—”

i changed the plot because i didn’t think i could pull it off, and i didn’t know how to fully end it. i liked where it ended up going anyway after the change of direction so all good!!

4. Games (Michael Gray)

so this was inspired by a gif imagine request that @fangirlsarah16 sent me, which you can find here!! you can literally see me already plotting for the piece in the tags aksjdha i just loved how angsty the situation was, and i love michael, so i decided to just run with it. i put what i had already written into a document and just pieced everything in around it. this is definitely one of my more dramatic pieces, but i just loved how the story came together and how all the other characters were included. 

i already planned to write a part 2 while i was still writing this piece, but obviously that hasnt happened yet. also i got discouraged bc i thought it would do better in terms of notes but oh well. i wrote around 300 words of where i wanted part 2 to go, and i still have it saved, but i dont want to share it in case i end up writing it. also, i have 2 plots in mind for where i want part 2 to go, and haven’t decided which one i want to go with. we’ll have to wait and see i guess >:)

5. Off Limits (Cassian Andor)

ah yes, the first in my rewrite project that is going along very slowly. basically, im planning on rewriting my super old one shots in hopes that i’ll like them. i swear i’ve got the next one shot in my drafts but i just havent had the time to finish it yet. anyway, the original piece, which i wrote 4 years ago (!!!!), was the piece that really got my blog started and helped me get activity/attention, and it has around 500 notes, which kinda makes the new version look depressing bc it only has 97 and it’s definitely a lot better in my opinion. 

i don’t really have a detailed process for this one, seeing as i was just improving upon an old piece, but one of the main things i did want to change was cassian’s characterisation. i felt like i just made him too mean in my old piece, and i wanted to loosen him up a bit. i managed to bang this one in one day and i just think it’s some cute content and i miss the rogue one squad!!

i’m tagging @moonlit-imagines @emcon-imagines @lotsoffandomimagines @dannyboy-writes @murswrites @randomfandomimagine @sonsofeorl @spxder-mxns & all other content creators that see this!! i’m definitely missing a lot but everyone should share their favorite pieces from this year :’)

[popculturebuffet]

Jake Reviews Stuff: Star Vs: Friendenemies

Happy pride all. I’m getting ahead of this one for a number of reasons:  1) It’s pride month and this episode is one of the most shiptastic things i’ve seen with two male characters since Robochris from bravest warriors. I mean it dosen’t quite reach “Creating a skull robot of your best friend because he won’t touch you a lot to make him jealous enough to do that” levels of romantic tension but it tries. 

2) My good friend @jess-the-vampire​ is a tomco shipper, and with things being rough for her I figure she could use this sooner rather than later. 3) Shows are actually coming back with Amphibia emerging from it’s year long odinsleep the same week Close Enough finally escapes from it’s dumpster after 10,000 years to conquer earth before it gets put back in there then escapes again and marries lord zedd.. I lost the metaphor the point is I want to keep Tom train, and other star arcs I have planned, moving at a steady clip. 

So with all of that yeah, i’m ready to go. No real exposition to dump again, come on let’s go after the cut!

We open with Marco at his laptop nervous about something and Star coming into his room tangled in christmas lights... so normal day at Casa Diaz.  Anyways Marco can’t help star out of her latest self made prison because he’s preording tickets to a Mackie Hand Film Festival. Mackie Hand is Marco’s faviorite martial artist and movie star, who died performing a stunt on himself.. accidentally.. did he give himself a death punch? Is this the same universe as regular show.. please say yes.  Anyway as is natural for Marco in the first two seasons as god apparently hates him, the tickets sell out instantly and he dosen’t get them, banging his head against his laptop as Star TRIES to comfort him , saying he might still be able to get them. Marco also says “Good things don’t happen to me”

I mean just look at Season 3. Anyways tom comes in licking a rainbow snowcone for no explained reason other than they wanted to make it obvious this was the Tomco episode. Tom asks to hang out and after Star, understandably at this point given you know, the horrible date where he tried to murder her best friend and the gaslighting a few weeks back, tells him a million times no, Tom explains he’s not here for her.. he’s here for Marco. Marco, given tom’s threatned to kill him twice now and tried to at least once, isn’t biting. Tom naturally has tickets to the festival as a trump card, and assumes that time he kidnapped marco and played him in ping pong for his freedom counts as a friend hang out, and geuinely apologizes for his behavior promising not to get angry. Really while as you probalby know we DO get the reveal later he was partly doing this whole thing to finish his anger managment... I do get the sense this apology, and a lot of this is GENUINE. We’ll get more into the why in a bit, but he does seem to genuinely want to bury the hatchet.  Marco pulls star aside and, given the last two times he saw Tom, the boy had some horrible scheme up his ripped sleeves, he understandably, and as it turns out correctly, thinks Tom is once again up to some sort of scheme, star is fully on board. I have. mixed feelings about this. On the one hand STar did forgive tom for the previous episodes mess and Ponyhead for much worse and it does set up the tiny plot curnel of corn that would grow into an entire corn field of her still having some friendly feelings toward tom. But it just feels weird, even with how cahotic star can be to have her flip flop from “Stop calling me” To “You should totlaly go on a date with the guy who harassed me and tried to kill you twice now. “. Especially since next time she has an episode with Tom, She’s fully resentful of him and a bit snarky and spends and episode, in part thanks to aformentioned magical severed ponyhead, suspicious of him playing games with her head again. We’ll get there soon obviously, i’m just saying it feels mildly off. 

So Marco decides, much like bart simpson that getting where he’s going’s worth it even if he has to ride with the devil himself and reluctantly agrees. We see the inside of Tom’s carriage for the first time, and see my good personal friend dead horse again on the outside, and it’s really nice.. lit by torches because mood lighting, but similar to his room it’s plushly decorated and even has two serious speakers and according to Tom 6 flatscreens. Damn I wish I had one of those.. that and I wouldn’t have to drive since I can’t due to my anxiety. Plus who wouldn’t want a firey horse skelton sidekick? Anyways Tom offers Marco cold cereal and Marco is frank with tom, pointing out he’s suddenly being nice to Marco after never being nice to him before and understandably isn’t sure he’s even a mackie hand fan but a bit of banter and trivia shows Marco that no, Tom really seems to be telling the truth.  Tom then confides in marco that he gets why Marco didn’t belivie him: Most people dont’ get past their preconcived perceptions of him. And here the series does flesh tom out a bit: Tom admits to not having many friends.. which frames the previous two episodes in a diffrent light. Sure his actions to Star are still very much not okay... but you at least see WHY he was so obessive about her: She was probably the first real friend he had that wasn’t a casual aquantince, his own family member, or a pet. Most Mewman kids his age probably weren’t too keen to hang out with what to them was a monster, rich or not, little raicst shits. And in the underworld most people probably just did whatever he asked because they were afraid of his temper or his parents fury, even if his parents are the nicest people in the underworld. So when he lost her, Tom didn’t know how to properly react and while his first attempt to win star back was genuine, it was marred by his refusal to adress his anger or control issues that likely lead to Star dumping him in the first place. While Star’s forgivness HERE is a bit werid, her willingness to give him another shot wasn’t: Tom was SEEMINGLY genuinely trying. He was in therapy, he’d been anger free for several days and most glowingly, when a stranger karate chopped his hand off in a misguided attempt to protect star.. he got upset but instnatlly went into his coping mechanisms.  The problem was as I covered in that review.. Tom didn’t WANT to change. That’s the thing about changing: you need to both know there is a problem and WANT to fix it. And even then, as we’ll see sometimes i’ts hard. I know, i’ve had my own personal issues i’ve had to change up as years went on. It’s a slippery slope you have to constnatly climb up. And BMB era tom.. just didn’t WANT to change he just wanted to do what he thought star wanted that would get her to take him back, and couldn’t understnad why she wouldn’t just listen to him and obey, two things not in star’s vocabulary for anyone much less her ex. 

So , much like I did, rather than blame himself for screwing things up, he just saw it as Marco being in the way and tried to fix that. And so he sunk to rock bottom.. but it didn’t fix their relationship and it took Marco having an honest conversation, as someone who was also very close to her and knew her well, to get him to see that Star wasn’t going to take him back unless she wanted it.. what he was doing was selfish and self destructive.. and Tom probably realized in that moment he had to stop. He let her go, and thus as I put al ot of emphasis on last time, made his first step to being better.  And to me that’s why this makes sense as his next step: While it’s partly to fufill a checklist... you get the sense he really DOES like marco on some level. They hung out, which I do feel tom did genuinely feel was like friends hanging out instead of you know the second highest stakes game of ping pong i’ve ever seen. 

The first if your curious. So while part of this is Tom just wanting to get through anger managment for likely his parent’s sake, part of it is also him genuinely wanting to be somebody’s buddy, anybody but a bumbling butler. It’s just being Tom, he dosen’t know HOW to make friends or get them to see past who he is surface wise; a spoiled angry boy and see the inside, a nice kid who just has no idea how to talk to people beyond a surface level or understand them and we’ll see that more both in this episode and as we go. Speaking of going back in the episode proper, two bros drive up and insult Tom’s carriage also wondering if he’s going to his grandpa’s funeral. Fuck you both.. both on general principal and becaause his grandpapapapapapaaaaaaaaaaaa is alive and magnificent. 

Satan bless you Relicor. Anyways, Tom is naturally pissed at this and Marco challenges them to a race.. but eases tom off actually following them as, since this isn’t a fast and the furious movie, the police immidelty arest them and we get the blessed image above. Let’s see that again.

NOGODWHY

Not right but it’ll have to do I fear what may happen if I try again.  ONE BALLON DICK GIRAFFE LATER, our boys are on a high, as Tom finds there are things more fun than obletarating people. #tomhaskilledmultiplepeopleandisstillthebestboy. Marco is reminded of a song from his faviorite band Love Sentence, and Tom, suprisingy given his My Chemical Romance with a splash of metal astetic, is not only a huge fan but has a giant Helga Patiaki esque shrine to them complete with a cd player with shuffle. Fancy. 

We then get a wonderful, shiptastic montage of the two just hanging out, hanging out with a white tiger. Having themselves a party. And given the song itself, sung by 98 Degrees and horrible realtiy show Newleywed’s alumnus Nick Lachey, even says “we used to be enimies but now we have chemistry” yeah I think this is intentional and they are a good ship. Are they my prefered ships for the characters? No tha’ts kelly and flame princess... the last one was recent and I love a good crossover ship sue me. But I do headcanon both as still Bi and still find the ship great, it’s just not my main one. 

However the good times can’t last as it is film time... but Tom refuses to let marco leave befor eblowing his top off... dude that’s not how you build a suppportive relationship, you know this by now. Turns out the white tiger I haven’t mentioned to now is actually Brian, vocied my boy Stephen Root who apparently just.. lives at DIsney’s animation studios now as he has a tendency to show up in every other animated disney show. You may know him from Gravity Falls as Bud Gleeful, THe Mayor from Amphibia, or , in non disney voice work, Bill Dautrive. Turns out as I haven’t even tried to hide, Tom was in the final stage of his anger managment class and to get out of it had had to spend 3 hours with the person he hated most. As I said I do think part of it was GENUINE on tom’s part, that he was trying to be what he thought friends were... it’s just he didn’t get that Marco, if grumblinignly, probably STILL would���ve agreed if he were honest.  However.. it’s still a step up. While i’ts still a scheme, and his LAST on the show.. it’s more benign after the last two; Instead of being harmful his scheme this time is just “Bribe my worst enemy into hanging out with me and get out of anger managment” it’s still not quite right, but compared to the things he’s done with star, it’s an improvment and a sign he is changing despite himself. He could’ve just kidnapped marco again and forced him to spend the three hours.. granted this might’ve just been Brian saying, obviously no tha tdosen’t count, but still, instead he tried being nice and giving an apology. Even if it was for personal gain on some level, Marco’s words clearly got to him and he’s now trying genuinely unselfish tactics. It’s also notable since he spent the three hours with marco, and at least half an hour of awkarndess before it got all fun, WITHOUT getting angry or falling back on old stratgies and only beefing it at the end because, as i’ve established, he dosen’t get people.  So naturally tom gets mad.. while it is a sign he’s getting better he dosen’t do his trademark horrifying demonic EXPLOSION of rage... he’s still being petulant and sore over his failure is mad at marco for pritoritzing the tickets nad destroys them. Marco naturally calls him out, angry over him manipulating him to get some badge , as he puts it, calls him a jerk and a liar, accurate and the worst part to marco? “I WAS DUMB ENOUGH TO FALL FOR IT”

Credit where it’s due while I may not LIKE adam mcarthur as a person...as a voice actor he is excellent and his delivery here is perfect as you do get the pain in Marco’s voice as he genuinely ahd grown to care for tom. Wethere it was friendship or wanting to make out... probably wanting to make out, you get the pain in his voice. Tom admits the love sentence hting wasn’t a lie.. but too little too late.. whcih is marco’s second faviorite love sentence song and leads to another moment of shippy goodness. Seriously I see why this ship exploded in popularity after this. Also I will say both Adam and Rider have damn pretty voices.  So Tom does what any romantic lead faced with a third act breakup would do.. say a demonic chant and bring Mackie Hand back from the dead. This is also the first time we see just how fucking powerful tom is. Before we’ve seen him summon his carriage and immolate some stuff and easily reattach a hand.. but this is the first time that we see he’s every pit as powerful as star, who probably could raise the dead she just dosen’t want to. Granted I don’t know why this sort of undead stuff hasn’t been used on say, Moons assitnated mother, but presumibly anti-monster stigma combined with the fact that we don’t know HOW she died or how much was left, and are probably better off that way solve that. It goes a long way to explain why Tom’s family are allies instead of the conquered like most monsters: They have equal , if far diffrent and spookier, magic power and are the only kingdom with this trump card besides the butterfly kingdom. 

So as we close Marco tries to use Mackie to get in, the usher dosen’t buy it and a fight insues, but Marco and Tom patch things up, Tom becoming a fan of Mackie now he’s seen what the guy can do and Marco forgiving tom since, evne if his actions were still a bit greasy, he immidetly did his best to try and fix what he broke. The two are friends again despite them both saying they hate each other... but they clearly mean it playfully. The End.  Final Thoughts: After the Slog that was last episode this one is a fan faviorite for a reason... well okay 2 reasons. One...

And two.. it’s excellent. I feel bad it took me years to see this one, but it’s one of season 2′s finest. It’s funny, has great character stuff for both boys, introduces a new ship that’s fantastic and a great new dynamic between Tom and Marco that would carry for the rest of the show. It also beliviebly advances Tom’s character arc: He’s TRYING a bit but he’s still got a bit of the scheming and selfishness that defined his earlier outings, but it’s telling that after this episode, and hurting marco, he stops. This episode REALLY gets him to change that and for the better.  Sadly Tom would only make one more apperance this season in Naysaya, an episode I will cover when I cover Jackie and Marco at some point, but has him show up for a cameo when it turns out the episodes antagonist, a curse that takes the form of a sentient head that spills the target’s worst secrets and insecurities when they try to ask someone they like out, is Tom’s fault from back when he was a baddie, and Tom genuinely apologizes and tells him how to vanquish it, if ribs marco a bit since he cast that curse presumibly sometime between BMB and MCC and is delighed and suprised that Marco seriously hadn’t asked anyone out in that time. But it’s a nice bit that shows their not only still friends but Tom is genuinely sorry for some of his earlier behavior. We’ll see more of that as we go and more of tom trying to be better.. he’s made up with Marco, next time we come back to tomtrospective, we’ll see how it goes with Star. 

Coming up besides the obvious, as Pride Winds down I’ll have my first steven unvierse coverage, one of the first openly gay couples in western animation, and some asexula pride as we take our first look at Bojack Horseman..’s loveable rommate todd. Until we meet again, stay safe, black lives matter and later days. 

[grxceblqckthxrn]

hi @chocolatecarstairs came up with these post-CHOG questions and i really want to answer them because im sad that im finished reading it :((

MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW

what was your favorite part, 1 or 2?

Honestly I loved both parts, but I’d say I loved part two just a little bit more for the time that James wasn’t under the curse anymore and LOVED Cordelia

which scene in the book was your favorite?

EVERY scene that had Matthew and James being wholesome parabatai in it!!! my favourite chapter in this book was Blue Ruin, the one after Grace takes the bracelet back from James  (aside from the whispering room ofc).

what scene (or scenes) made you cry the most?

ok ngl i didnt spend much of this book crying, but the only scene that actually made me tear up was when james was dying and matthew could feel it and jesse (WHO I FUCKING LOVED MORE THAN I THOUGHT I WOULD) gave him his last breath :(((((

what scenes were unsatisfactory?

there were not enough Christopher scenes (but to be fair, even if the entire book was just Christopher it still wouldnt be enough for me)

but fr, i cant think of any off the top of my head but i’ll edit this if i do later

what made you laugh the most?

matthew!! james!! thomas!! christopher!! also some of the things Jesse said

what bored you?

this wasn’t boring, but the whole charles/alastair plot line didn’t have me very invested. I did love the alastair/ cordelia scenes tho, so it was just charles that was the problem

also no offense to james bc he was my first actual fictional crush after reading TMH/NBS but like whenever he talked about being in grace i would literally zone out lol the bracelet curse makes him so boring but whenever he isnt in the curse/ is with someone who is NOT grace i just!! love him!!

what disappointed you?

cassie honestly had me kinda shipping matthew/cordelia for a solid FIVE SECONDS there when he stepped in to dance with her after james left her standing there, but that was one of the only scenes that made me feel like they had natural chemistry (along with the scene where he drops her off at her house). I felt like the during the rest of their interactions in the book, cordelia was kind of uncomfortable, which made me really sad because even tho she has every right to feel that way, i felt bad for matthew. I kind of want him to fall for someone else completely and for it to be reciprocated. also, i just really want for matthew and cordelia to become good friends because i feel like they could have such great natural chemistry if matthew didnt love her.

what is the top thing you wish had been done differently?

see above.

what things did you predict that came true?

JAMES BURNING DOWN BLACKTHORN MANOR I FUCKING SAID HE WOULD DO IT TWO FUCKING YEARS AGO IF YALL WANT ME TO LINK THE THEORY LMK

what are some things that were really unexpected?

ok there’s quite a few things here so bear w me babes:

- James genuinely loving cordelia from the start. I wasn’t expecting him to naturally feel nothing for grace at all, so i was expecting a slow burn jordelia, but finding out that he actually loves her makes me so happy but the end where cordelia thinks he was just pretending breaks my heart :(((

-matthew liking cordelia lol definitely was not expecting another parabatai love triangle but i hope it doesnt last. i do think it adds to the plot and i love it, it just hurts to see matthew so emo :(((

-I was expecting to like cordelia as a character, but i ended up LOVING her so fucking much???? she’s so three dimensional to me, and it’s interesting to see how her personality adapts around different characters as people adapt around different social circles irl

-liking jesse as much as i did

-ok so james’ entire character was a surprise to me. it’s so fascinating to see how the bracelet actually affected his personality.If you recall him in The Midnight Heir from TBC. he’s like an entirely different person. i still loved him in TMH but i went into CHOG thinking that if he was gonna be like that the entire time i’d probably get over him really quickly. i was pleasantly surprised by how much i ended up loving him even more tho

-i didn’t expect oliver hayward to die and im going to stay emo about it

- Christopher is so much more clear headed than he was made out to be prior?? like there were so many scenes where he was fully there and when he defended anna to alastair i just kfdsnfkld i love him

are there characters that you didn’t like before that you like now?

yikes umm... Alastair, maybe? he’s somewhat okay to me now, I dont dislike him as much as I used to. ooh and Hypatia Vex. the only scene i remember liking her in QOAAD was when she helped out kit, ty and dru (me, going a whole TSC post without somehow mentioning kit? not possible)

are there characters that you liked before that you don’t like now?

I started CHOG ready to give Grace the benefit of the doubt, and I was surprised by how timid and shy she seemed at the start, but it was interesting to see how it was all an act and how she doesn’t have an actual personality yet. one could argue that she actually does love james, but i doubt it at this point. i dont hate her yet, even tho she IS fucking up james’ life, but she’s on thin fucking ice.

who was your favorite new character?

does new character mean completely new or just never been in a novella new? because for the first, it would be Cordelia (i LOVE her sm!!) and other wise it would be james, matthew and co. also!!! jesse!!

what places in the book would you like to visit?

that hell dimension sounds pretty lit ngl

did you like the ending?

ok so. we KNOW that jordelia is gonna be endgame. cassandra clare always takes the hardest path to get there, but when has she not delivered? it’s just a matter of waiting. so, yes, i did like the ending in sense of the plot because it was a great twist, but i also feel really bad for all of them even tho ik they’re eventually gonna be together :(((

what did you think of the epilogue?

i wasnt surprised, since we alr know that Tatiana is shady asf, but i just really wanna know how she partnered up with a GREATER demon like lol wtf. again, im really happy in terms of plot with this

what are your thoughts on the engagement?

i feel so. fucking bad. for cordelia. and james too, even tho he’s under the bracelet’s curse so he doesnt even KNOW he’s being manipulated. but i love how even through the curse, james still loves cordelia in his own way.

what did you want to see that didn’t happen?

matthew getting therapy periodt

umm honestly i just want more “merry thieves” content like i just love. all of them.

what do you wish had been resolved that wasn’t?

i really want matthew to tell james or cordelia what happened because i just need him to be loved and supported lol i want to give him a hug. 

what is your favorite pairing as of now?

jordelia!!! and lucie and jesse are kind cute rn, and i like them if theyre gonna be pining after eachother but i feel like if they actually get together i wont like the relationship as much.

which characters would you like to see more of in the next book?

CHRISTOPHER CHRISTOPHER CHRISTOPHER 

ANNA!!! i lovED reading about her she’s so badass

matthew!! jesse!! also i wanna see more of those bitchy girls lol just so we can see anna or cordelia tell them to stfu

what is one character whose death you would undo if you could?

ok i know that jesse is still very much a conscious character despite being dead but like,,, i want him to be the way he was before and also i want him to come back to life

and barbara!! she seemed so sweet 

which characters got bad/unsatisfactory endings?

ummm barbara? i cant really say much on this yet bc its still only the first book and when has the first book ever ended up with anyone being happy.

oh but also can we sign a petition to make cassie let matthew actually survive the series because my heart aches just at the THOUGHT of eventually having to read a scene where he dies

which characters got what they deserved?

literally. none of them yet. :(

who should have died but didn’t?

Tatiana lol also lowkey charles but i also feel pity him to an extent 

what plotline are you most excited to see in the next book?

okay the entire jesse plot has me hooked because i LOVE his character. also i love the bracelet plot but its making me MAD because i just want james to be happy but

what is one scene that you wish hadn’t happened, but you know was unavoidable?

THE ONE WHERE GRACE PUTS THE BRACELET BACK ON JAMES. i mean obv there was no way he was completely done with grace, but i literally got so sad at that part like why HIM of all people smfh let him be happy

which pairing do you like the least?

alastair x charles, grace x james, lucie x matthew bc neither of them actually like either imo lol

what are some theories you have for chain of iron?

- not necessarily for COI but i think matthew is gonna get exiled and turned into made into a mundane

- the bracelet will break (?)

- jesse will come back to life (like actual life) at the end of the book

-grace is gonna do something to help the main characters, making it hard for us to hate her.

what characters do you think should have gotten more plot time?

lol are yall gonna hate me if i say christopher again (also anna)

anyways this was really fun!!!!! PLEASE ASK ME STUFF ABOUT MY OPINIONS AND STUFF OR JUST SAY ANYTHING ABT THE BOOK BC IM DESPERATE TO TALK TO PPL ABOUT IT

[australian-desi]

Qurbaan Hua ~ Episode 10-14: Of Murder, Bel-Gadis and The Death of My Favourite Character

There’s a lot of shouting, sorry in advance 

Episode 10

Wow he really had the audacity to ask forgiveness 

Do not tell me he’s the one that killed Saraswati 

He’s trying to intimidate her??????? With what????? 

She actually packs a punch, she pushed him right off of her

See this is the stuff I love about her 

SHE LOCKED THE DOOR FROM THE OUTSIDE AS WELL!!!!!! OMG WHAT A DAY IT HAS BEEN A TELLYWOOD CHARACTER WITH INTELLIGENCE 

And that’s on saying Sarasti instead of Saraswati you swine 

Where is this goddamn mandir, and why did she not take a car or something 

He’s found her (it’s not her fault, she tried her best to hide) and omfggggg she’s right next to a cliff 

I THOUGHT SHE DIED IN CHILDBIRTH OR SOMETHING WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS 

HE THREW HIS HEAVILY PREGNANT WIFE DOWN THE STAIRS AND HE WANTS TO BE THE HEAD PRIEST

HOLY SHIT 

OMG 

WHY AM I HERE 

AND HER COUSIN IS JUST WATCHING THIS HAPPEN

ofcourse Neil’s rakhi breaks just as is sister is dying 

NAVELI BE OUT HERE ACTUALLY JUSTIFYING KILLING HER SISTER WTAFFFFFFFFFFFF 

CAN NEIL LISTEN TO HIS GODDAMN THIRD SENSE AND GO GET HIS SISTER FFSS

WHAT DID I TELL HIM, TAKE YOUR SISTER AND LEAVE BUT NOOOOOO 

MANS IS KILLING HER RUTHLESSLY 

He’s also comparing a position to the love of his unborn child????????????

HOLY SHIT THIS MAN IS GOING TO PIN THE WHOLE MURDER ON DOCTOR BAIG 

KILLLLL MOIIIIII

I KNEW THIS SHOW WAS INTENSE BUT I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR A FULL FLEDGED MURDER 

IT TOOK NEEL AN UNANSWERED PHONECALL, BROKEN RAKHI AND A LECTURE FROM A SAGE TO GET OUT OF THE VEHICLE

NOT THE FEELING OF IMPENDING DOOM AND PANIC 

Here Daddy Pandit is preaching that all human beings are equal, and being Hindu does not make you better or worse than those of other religions 

If these are his thoughts, why does he refuse medical help from people of other religions, I do not understand 

Ummm surely the doctor can tell the marks all over her body are from being physically assaulted and not just from a trivial fall

GOTTA LOVE CHAHAT, WHO IS A FRESH NEW DOCTOR, WAS ABLE TO TELL THAT SOMETHING’S UP, SHE DIDN’T JUST FAINT AND NOT A SENIOR DOCTOR

ALSO SHYAM1.5 IS OUT HERE FULLY READY TO SHIFT THE BLAME AS IF HE BROKE A GLASS OR SOMETHING AND NOT FULLY KILL HIS WIFE 

Episode 11 

Neel, is still running around the house screaming for his sister when it is quite clear no one is there, so good on him

Again I say, for a doctor this man is quite daft - DOCTORS ARE TRAINED TO LOOK FOR ABUSE

The fact my girl has to conduct CPR in the hospital really shows how much it is lacking in medical technology, so I guess Anjali2.0 was fucked from the start

And he’s now talking to Daddy Pandit, who is continuing the pooja as if Neel isn’t even there 

VYASJI IS USELESS, GO LOOK FOR HER ON YOUR OWN YOU DIMWIT 

This dumbass doctor is asking him point blank if it is a case of domestic violence as if he will just admit to it

YOU CALL THE POLICE FOR THE INTERROGATION YOU DONT JUST CONDUCT IT YOURSELF IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HALLWAY 

Pehla banda dekha jo pandit banne ke liye itne paap ekhate kar raha hai 

Also since when did pandits become gunde 

The baby has survived?????? Wow I am proud

Well this is just, holy shit, ummm, religion is an absolute joke when taken to these levels and like the joke is really all on them, because one of their own is a murderer/abuser/womaniser/manipulator 

SARASWATI GET UP AND MURDER HIM BACK COZ WTAF

CAN THE DOCTOR MOVE OUT OF THE GODDAMN WAY SO IT DOESNT LOOK LIKE SHE’S POINTING AT HIM

I KNEW THIS WOULD FKN HAPPEN

HOLY SHIT AND SHE’S GONE 

There goes the only person in Neel’s whole household (apart from Neel) that I liked 

These people are proper dumb, she was clearly pointing at the doctor 

AND IS NO ONE LOOKING AT HIS GLEE OF HIS WIFE’S DEATH

ITS DADDY PANDIT NOT GIVING A SINGLE SHIT THAT HIS DAUGHTER IS MISSING 

HOLLLYYY SHIETTT NEEL GO SEE YOUR SISTER RATHER THAN CARRYING OUT YOUR AINVAYI KE DRAMATICS 

GOOD NOW SHE’S DEAD AND YOUR KAMINA JIJA IS ABOUT TO GET AWAY WITH IT

Omgggggg why have they hit me with the manpain so early in the show, im going to cry 

Holy shiettt my dude is going to get so fucked over this, I can’t 

Episode 12-14

Basically, I’m just very triggered by this whole thing

Neel has lost all sense and is after blood, because murder as revenge does not count as a paap apparently 

Chahat is the only one with half a brain in this whole show, the person with the other half is now dead #rip #IAmStillTraumatisedFromHerDeath

Daddy Pandit is a horrible actor, coz I felt nothing, when he sees his daughter’s dead body, and the fact that I showed more emotion at Saraswati’s death 

Fake Kamini knows something’s up between Shyam1.5 and Naveli, and she does not bat an eye which is worrying 

When Neel ‘saved’ Chahat it was quite hot, it got me going (coz his whole body covers hers, and she clutches on to him tightly and that whole thing)

Ofcourse she faints coz she wouldn’t be an ITV female lead if she didn’t 

Gotta also love how dramatic Neel got, with the whole, the person who’s blood I’m after, his daughter is in my arms, and my sister would also want me to avenge her death

Neel darling, yes she does want you to avenge her death, but I really wish you were a bit smarter to know/bother to find out who actually killed her even though I know this whole thing is a mess, you are an emotional mess and can’t think straight, but please calm down and think 

Also, if I was Daddy Pandit or Neel I would’ve lost my faith in God a long long time ago, so proud of both of them in keeping this religion thing up

HAVE THESE CRAZIES REALISED THAT THE CHILD IS WELL AND ALIVE 

OMFG THAT IN ITSELF IS ENOUGH PROOF THAT THEY DIDN’T KILL SARASWATI

COULDN’T THEY GET A POST-MORTEM REPORT DONE AS WELL WHICH WILL TELL THEM SHE DIED FROM TRAUMA NOT FROM POISONING 

Awww that scene when Saraswati’s spirit comes to Neel to snap him out of his bullshit, that was sweet, hopefully he calms down and is able to get some much needed therapy, and go live happily with Meera

Who am I kidding

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, HE HIT HER WITH A BELL, AND IT FELL AROUND HER NECK, AND THEN LIKE A BEL-GARDI, HE IS DRAGGING HER 

OMG WE’RE LITERALLY AT THE POINT WHERE THE ABUSE HAS LED TO A COMPLETE DEHUMANISATION OF THE FEMALE LEAD 

ALSO ENJOYED THE WHOLE BELL HITTING HER MAANG, SO IT LOOKS LIKE SINDOOR - THAT’S VERY VERY FUCKED 

I CANNOT

WHAT THE FUCK

WHY AM I WATCHING THIS

We’ve gone from occasional forceful arm grabbing to tying a bell around the girl’s neck AND PULLING IT BY IT 

and I’m also lolling at the warning about how they don’t promote this behaviour

OMG DADDY PANDIT IS THE ONLY ONE WITH HUMANITY IN THIS WHOLE VILLAGE HOLY FUCKING SHIT (he’s said how burning the hospital down, going after their life, rioting etc. is not okay and is against everything he has taught his followers) 

NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS DID I THINK THIS MAN WOULD COME OUT AND BE THE MOST SENSIBLE

And he’s keeping her hostage, lovely 

It’s amazing how it’s taken them this long to call law enforcement

Well Neel has well and truly lost it, now he’s having another go at his dad

And Mami has found out that Chahat is in a room and coz of the blood/bell/sindoor situation has assumed that she’s Neel’s gf who he has just gotten married to

I don’t blame her, that’s on Neel locking a woman in his house 

Now I’m wondering can this show get even more fucked than it already is

[mirakeul]

THE WAY THAT INKO CALLS Y/N HER FAVORITE DAUGHTER. My heart breaks if the reason why is because she still hopes that maybe one day she will be. I wonder how hard it hit her when this initially all went down. I figure she probably saw Izuku after it all happened and she must’ve asked for y/n not knowing what happened. OOOOOF my heart. Honestly Inko = best mom.

THE BONUS CONTENT LMAO!!!!! AND THE NOTES APP APOLOGY I CANT! It crazy because I didnt feel bad for him because its all his fault yk?? But my heart can’t help but feel for him because well I love him D: and my heart kinda ached when he kept talking in the elevator because he doesn’t know when to stop. DOES HE GO TO THERAPY?! I feel like he would to some extent, since he’s a hero. Would he even bring up what happened?

OOOOOOOOF, that polaroid one got me. Him having a picture of just the two of them after 10 years I- *screaming crying throwing up* IN HIS WALLET?!?!?! The way he would protect the hell out of it. IT’S SO CUTE I HATE MYSELF.

OMG! Does he ever watch those fights and thinks/wonders what it would’ve been like if they fought together? Like he sometimes watches y/n fight with others and he just can’t help but feel that they would’ve been an amazing team. Does he get jealous watching her getting along so well with her partners? Or does he just get sad? Him avoiding answering the question of following American news LMAO.

WHEN TWO BIG BRAINS COME TOGETHER AND MAKE MAGIC! THESE ARE SO FREAKING CUTE AND IM HAPPY THAT YOU ENJOY THEM. I GOT WORRIED I WAS JUST BOTHERING YOU! <3333333333333333 ILY2

YOU LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT THESE BECAUSE I AM DOWN FOR THESE HEADCANNONS

TUMBLR SOMETIMES SUCKS AND DOESNT NOTIFY ME

JKASDHAJKHFDAJK HI IM BACK, not that better but yes <333

NAUR HASKHASDHKA inko ily pls ksjhdakjdas she did notice y/n not coming around anymore and asked izu but izu didn't understand the question because he was suddenly approached by bakugou, all mad, when he realized what happened...to this day, ink doesn't fully know what happened, just that y/n and izuku are no longer....talking? but y/n doesn't let this stop her from talking to inko, because they did grow up together so... :")

kjHSKJASDHADJKHSK dont worry, im sad because i keep hurting the main characters of this smau <//3 HASDHASHASH he does go to therapy! it's mainly because of all the shit they went through in UA, especially because of constantly clashing with the villains even when they were kids. he probably brought it up, his therapist knows y/n to an extent (and bakugou) as well since yknow, childhood friends and all that jazz kashdjaskhasjd

YES HE WOULD LKJASHDAKSDHKAS most treasured photo he has !!! inko sometimes sees him looking at it but she doesn't ask, because she knows they would tell her if they need the advice and the help from her :")

HE DOES. y/n and izuku (and bakugou) vowed to be a hero team of some sort when they graduate,, but shit hit the fan and so,,, it didn't happen....but it doesn't make it impossible to happen !! it would still be a possibility once they do see eye to eye....which might happen soon once i start updating again HASDHASDKJAD I CANNOT continue for now because...headspace not too good :") n e ways !! he doesn't really get jealous per se,,, but he does get sad thinking what it would be like if they continued their dream. HAHHASHDHASHDS yes he would be like, "i just wanted to stay informed of news all over the world." and then he's just following american and japan news...HSAHASHDHSAHD

I LOVE YOU AND THESE HEADCANONS honestly, makes me smile whenever i read shit like this because it's the first time i've fangirled and talked about my works like these KJADHSKAJDSHKAD U AREN'T BOTHERING ME ILY OKAY

AND YES PLEASE, do drop by with headcanons here and there i wouldn't mind !!! KJASDDHASKJDHASD do u want me to tag u in my answers if ever? jkHKJASDH

[garyc0re]

WAIT i want to talk more about this and how i interpreted the episode because its such a GOOD episode for mordecai's character and him realizing that he's being toxic was a moment that i think we need more of in cartoons

(also op im glad youre doing better!!!)

mordecai at this point in the series has expressed multiple times that he feels stuck where hes at and like, these two are the worst at communicating with one another so i understand why it was never expanded upon for him in the later seasons but i do wish they had taken a moment to expand upon it other than "mordecai is upset at rigby for graduating" because that really isnt the case, at least from how i saw things. i saw it as "im upset because i feel stuck where i am in my life right now"

his history thus far is this: mordecai has just ruined two relationships, both of which he had spent six combined years on. he has expressed that he feels stuck at the park and that he wants something for the future but doesnt know what (says this in the movie & mr maellards package episode). hes a college dropout and since this all happened right after the movie im sure that knowing he could have done *something* different (if he had went to CU) weighed down heavily on him (because yes, he does say that hed rather work in the park with rigby in the movie, but choosing one path over the other doesnt mean you dont stop wondering what the other path might have held)

these concerns arent something thats just gonna go away because rigby is doing well, and in fact rigby doing well (getting a girlfriend, graduating, reconnecting with his parents) would only further exacerbate the feelings mordecai has. i know ive been in situations where ive been doing horribly and all of my friends have been doing well and their success has only caused me to get more upset with myself. its unhealthy, but none of the characters in this show are fully healthy and all of them could benefit from therapy

mordecai is shown as a background character in this season a lot, and while this is something i think he needs in order for him to grow comfortable with the idea of him being alone & tbh him feeling comfortable with himself in general (as mordecai has been shown to be just as deeply insecure as rigby, but he is a LOT better at hiding it) it also causes the audience to forget about the things that HE has probably had TOO MUCH time to think over

thats why this episode comes as such a shock. hes your friend, you arent happy for him? why is mordecai acting so terribly? he wasnt like this a few episodes ago, he was supporting rigby in his classes and actively helping, what happened? and thats why i think theres a lot more going on here upon further analysis than just "i think i was upset to see you doing good". hes been given a lot of time to himself to think over all of the things he did wrong & all of the things that could have been and its EATING at him.

but, mordecai doesnt know how to express this. both mordecai and rigby dont know how to express their emotions in healthy ways. rigby improves at this after he begins his relationship with eileen, but they both generally just suck at communicating. (take for example, the time rigby threw a temper tantrum about cleaning their shared room, when in actuality he reveals later that he was upset that mordecai didnt want to think of the space as theirs, because mordecai is his best friend). here we are shown a very rare moment of vulnerability from mordecai in a time where he acknowledges that hes the problem & hes the one in the wrong, all because of feelings that hes been internalizing & been unable to express

their relationship is messy and complicated but i honestly never saw this resentment that mordecai talks about having for rigby as... actual resentment. rigby is his best friend, they have a bond unlike any other (hell, in the comics they carved each others initials into a tree and put a heart around it) and mordecai has defended rigby time and time again from strangers that have told rigby hes inferior. i dont think mordecai suddenly began viewing rigby as inferior in this episode, i genuinely believe he felt resentment towards himself and the only way that he thought to express that was by lashing out

this episode really just takes it home for me that both of them need therapy. like genuinely i think an episode about them going to therapy would have been so beneficial, even though i know it wouldnt fit into regular shows "comedy" bit (because the humor is very much put forth first in this show, probably because its labeled a kids cartoon. it makes me wonder if we would have seen more growth of their characters had adult swim not turned down jg quintels show idea, since adult swim would have allowed him to dive even deeper into their characters - like rick and morty or tuca and bertie).

anyway im sorry to hijack your post, but ive spent a lot of time thinking about this episode and gathering my thoughts about it and i love seeing other people talk about it because i feel like it shows the complexities and gray areas of mordecai's character. all the park members have gray areas and are jerks in some way or another; theyre written to be "realistic" in the way that they are sometimes toxic, they sometimes say or do awful things, they sometimes make mistakes and have to live with them. and this was just another episode that i REALLY appreciated for that, and that i wish more cartoons showed, because you dont have to be nice all of the time to be a good person

okay i promise ill stop rambling now sorry again regular show is my special interest ajsmvms

Rigby: *Went back to highschool and is gonna graduate*

Mordecai: Whatever, graduating highschool is the least a person can do.

Me: *Was super sickly, repeatedly being held back because I missed so much school due to appointments and sick days until me and family agreed that I should drop out to focus on my health until I'm doing good enough to attend GED classes (finally starting to feel decent enough to at least get some exercise, so I'm moving up!)*

Me: Fück you, Mordecai...not everyone is equal. Please realize that soon in the series.

I get that he's upset because Rigby is catching up to him, so he can't really look down on him as much (but he shouldn't have been looking down on him at all before), but jeez...

At least they made up in the end.

[coshayphinelove]

now that the finale afterglow has faded, i’ve been kind of looking back on the series with a more critical eye than a “PLS DONT LEAVE ME” eye.  

this is by no means the last time i’ll write some kind of long-winded essay, i’m sure i’ll find other things to overthink about on rewatches and as i write more fic, but it is a direct reaction to the finale and the five years i have spent with this show.

in short, the finale was amazing.  it was probably the best finale of any show i have ever seen.  it was satisfying and true to the characters that we had grown to love.  it was realistic insofar that the problems didn’t end with the evil being defeated.  it was bittersweet and made me emotional where i didn’t think the show could anymore.

(although i still haven’t watched the last two episodes of frin/ge so it’s rank may change).

if the rest of the season and the previous two seasons had set it up, it would have been even better.  it is, to this day, my firm opinion that season 1 was the tightest, most well thought out season of television i have ever seen.  like, if you had asked me in season 3 where i thought the finale would be, i would have had such a different answer.  (please do ask me, i have so many thoughts.)

most of my criticisms are on the co-phine/delphine front bc that’s where i’ve curated the most facts, having a few transcripts saved to my computer for ease of access.  and the first thing i have to talk about is the plot holes this season, bc wow, so many.  like, delphine was only there when it was convenient.  that much was clear.  

like she only helped siobhan bc there needed to be a good guy survivor to tell the rest about what happened.  she was only invited to the big house so cosima could invite herself along.  she was only put in the dress so that cosima could be in the suit so that the pr team could tease a wedding.

and she was only in the final clone scene to reinforce that ‘’we can trust her now guys’’.  like she and cosima never talked about anything.  not the shay snafu in season 3, not the lying, not the spying, not the secrets.  which are really big things.  and i’m not saying it had to be 45 minutes of therapy jargon but i am saying that they should’ve said... ‘sorry’ or explained what happened and where they were coming from.  bc to this day i don’t actually know why delphine did what she did in season 3.  what happened in frankfurt?  why did she threaten shay like that instead of just asking?  why was she suddenly working for topside?  none of that ever gets mentioned after it happens.

and as much as the sarah hug helps me with my sarcoshayphine struggles, they hadn’t spoken since ‘piss off delphine.’  how did they get from there to hugging?  ‘we’re doing all of this on account of bloody delphine?’ to soft hugs and kind words?  like yeah, it fit and it worked and it was touching.  but when you think about it, it kind of dissolves.  which is kinda fitting for a lot of the plot this season.

and to me, that left this season of c0p/hine feeling kind of empty.  we reused the ‘can we trust delphine’ plot.  we reused the ‘delphine’s off in a foreign country and therefore unreachable’ plot (eighty times this season, right?).  i still stand by my point that in season 4 she could have been in hiding, having driven off into the sunset to do mrs. s’s bidding.  like they could’ve had delphine funneling info for all of season 4 through mk/siobhan completely off screen.  but she just.. did nothing for all of season 4.  right.  boss ass bitch corporate delphine just... sat around getting told what to do... sure..

or in 5x09 she could have just been around the corner at the grocery store rather than france.  and why even bring that up if you’re never going to do anything with it?  she went home right when cosima would’ve needed her and she was free to be there for her?  what the hell?  and there was no setup for it either.  one second they’re ‘on the precipice of doing anything they want’ and the next delphine went home?  without cosima before the fight is over?  like, season 2 delphine would’ve been doing The Most: cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, chores, snuggles, etc etc.  but instead she hears the news and hops on the first plane out of the country?

like you guys do realize they didn’t say ‘i love you’ this season at all, right?  delphine is ‘motivated by love’ but she doesn’t say it at every possible opportunity?  cosima thought she was dead, but doesn’t blurt it out the first time she sees her after waking up?  like fuck a sex scene, normalize wlw couples saying ‘i love you’ to each other first.

idk...  i know there were scheduling conflicts and i know they had to keep rewriting as the schedule got rearranged, but come on.  i can, right now, change a few key scenes that do something for both cosima and delphine’s character, that keeps them both active and doesn’t just ignore 3 seasons of characterization.

which is another point.  there was so much they could have done with delphine’s character.  not just this season, but for a while.  instead of like.. idk following up on the threads they presented (affair with l**kie, changing sides, the girl who slit her wrists which was implied to be delphine herself, seeming to be worth shooting and kidnapping and nursing to back to health to neolution, what she was doing before cosima got there, what she did in geneva, etc etc) they only brought her back to kiss cosima.  like bottom line.  like, she didn’t really do anything active that someone else wasn’t doing elsewhere except warn siobhan about kira.  which they didn’t even listen to her about.

and several times they referred to her as a lesbian when in 1x08 she clearly and fully called herself bisexual.  and they shot her.  for being in love with cosima.  regardless of what they have recently said about ‘knowing about byg and always intending to bring her back’ they... still did it.  and right afterwards said some really gross stuff about fans who were upset about it.  i don’t really remember all of it, but i do distinctly remember the word ‘reductive’ used to say that fans were reducing her to her sexuality and that was the real problem.  which... see the above several paragraphs.  pot, kettle.  kettle, pot.  (i have separate thoughts on the season 3 debacle..)

which brings me to my main thought.  i think they were too hyperaware of the fandom.  they tried to roll with the scheduling conflicts and make a nice new shiny ship for us.  but when there were complaints (*cough* hate *cough*) thrown at creators/cast over it they waffled and changed their minds.  which then led to a shay shaped plot hole.  also a shay shaped hole in my heart.

and i think someone around season 1 told them they were being progressive and they just... didn’t try to learn new things?  idk how to phrase this.  like season 1 was genuinely feminist.  and the fact that they saw this story unfolding from a female perspective was incredible.  and sarah’s storyline throughout the seasons was incredibly feminist.  and the fact that they thought to include characters of genders other than cis and sexualities other than straight was fantastic.  but after they got a pat on the back for being progressive, they stopped actively trying to call themselves out.  they were like, ‘yes i am progressive and feminist therefore everything i produce is good without a second check.’

but this past season was all about petey and the clones were only used to further reinforce his evilness.  and felix was more active than sarah, the protagonist.  and tony actually got mentioned but he never actually showed up.  and their ‘stand-in for the patriarchy’ got to violently murder two women (of two different underrepresented minorities, ASD and middle aged) while going back and abusing another woman (and praising him and saying he actually loved her!!!!).  and their lesbian character centric episode was primarily focused on her romantic entanglements rather than, say, her and her character.  (which i’ve been learning is actually kind of a problem in the wlw community, is losing yourself to new relationship energy and they could’ve actually taken a stance on this and said something important, but... anyway..)

and the creators were touting this as the most feminist season ever.

...

like okay.  by walking0 de..ad and game- of9 thro///nes standards it is.  but what they said in interviews and what they put on the screen did not match up.  and i think that’s my main problem.  like when i turn on my tv i generally turn off my feminism eyes and my lgbt rep wants.  bc i generally know that not every show is going to be perfect and as long as it’s not like last man standing then i can tolerate it.  but season 1 and their interview presence just got my hopes up.  and they just didn’t deliver on their promises, imo.

and that wouldn’t be so bad, but they were so close, like this close!!  you can’t see my fingers rn, but they’re almost touching...  like they had the perfect setup, a meatball straight down the plate, just begging to be a home run, but they shanked it to right field and got stopped at second base.

like implying in interviews that some characters are nonbinary or confirming characters sexualities is really cool!!! i used to be a r//izzl//es fan, i know how awful it is when cast/creators genuinely don’t want you in their fandom.  getting a confirmation is super cool.... but technically it’s not canon, it’s not In The Show.  like it’s not untrue either, it’s not not canon.  but being Progressive and Feminist and Positive LGBT Rep would’ve been.. idk saying it on the show, in the character’s own words?  bc i can go anywhere and get coded representation, i can go back to the fifties and watch stuff with thinly veiled metaphors and small little nudges in the confirmation direction.  it’s not something you get to pat yourself on the back for.

like, imo 1x08 was probably the best handled lgbt scene.  like delphine stated her identity.  and cosima just went along with it.  and they got to talk candidly about it.  they said ‘gay’ and ‘bisexual’ in the same scene.  like??!!?!??!?! that was amazing.  but for some reason they couldn’t do that for sarah, or felix.  or let tony talk about being trans rather than having it be a hushed whispered conversation between two (then believed to be) cis people without him.

and it was just so frustrating to me, as a viewer, knowing what they meant and seeing what they put out there.  

bc they are two different things.  i can say whatever i want about this post, but at the end of the day it is just a grammatically incorrect, rambling, walk-about way of saying i have insomnia and was thinking about this enough to try and organize my thoughts.  the creators can say whatever they want about the show, but eventually those interviews and those panels will get buried in the internet and all that will stand is their product.  which doesn’t have confirmations of those themes within it.

like i’m forever going to love the show and i’m always going to go back and rewatch.  it’s always going to be an influence on my writing.  it’s just not... me trying to replicate and be like this show it’s trying not to make the same mistakes.  which is kinda sad, bc it used to be the other way.  

and at the end of the day it is feminist.  like it’s about women told from a women’s perspective about allegories for womens’ issues.  it’s just not by women so it missed the mark.  same goes for the lgbt stuff.  it is progressive that they thought to include it, but the stories they ended up telling were closer to the older stuff than what they thought.  

i just wish they had brought in a third showrunner that was a woman and had lgbt writers come in to tell the lgbt stories.  that doesn’t mean that it would’ve automatically been 100% Unproblematic™ but i think it would have been a lot closer to what they had promised.

anyway, i miss it already.