#yes i bit my nails again and it fucken hurts

[here-am-i-sitting-in-a-tin-can]

i am going to rip my finger clean off

[muesliforbreakfast]

Pilgrim’s Trail

Sometimes I write... As y’all have seen. I’ve put two pieces up on HFY. A subreddit which I guess celebrates aspects of humanity. This is the first – It's based on an existential nightmare I had a few years ago and wrote about, but with a HFY flavour. Little bit of trivia... I gave the original writeup a conventional ending - this is much closer to the way the nightmare ended, but Ratel the Mercenary made some fucken lemonade.

Setting – Not really important, but if you insist... Picture a bastardized amalgamation of Kirill Eskov's version of Middle Earth, and Novigrad/Velen then you have the right idea.

- - - - - - - - - -

Years after his first quest he sits at the spring of the hawk under the white tree. He sharpens his silver sword, holding it across his thigh, as he watches the travellers on their journeys. A tall young woman in a weathered cloak approaches him.

"You look familiar to me, have we met?" she asks, with no other greeting.

"I have travelled far... it's possible."

"What is your name, if you will? I am a collector of stories, and I would have yours."

With a weary sigh, he replies "They just call me the Mercenary, call me that, if you like."

"Mercenary... How did you become a mercenary?"

He looks at her now and sees an elf, not a girl. She is only young in elf years.

- - - - - - - - - -

The caravan had stopped. He jumped off the cart to stretch, and admired the view of the mountain range, from the shade of the valley. Purple in the distance, it would take them another three days to reach it, and having reached it, the tunnel that would take them to the other side of the range. From there, it is another month until they reached the stronghold of the Assassin king known only as Tzerlag.

It was his first quest, and he was excited and apprehensive.

The command to walk the perimeter came from Brother Edmund, the heart and brains of this quest.

He took up his sword and began to walk the perimeter.

~ ~ ~

He had wanted to find his true love. "Eat the fruit of the white tree, and you shall find your true love." The book had said. His people had confirmed this decree, so he had sought the tree at the spring of the hawk, but the tree bore him no fruit. He had waited for three days, and on the fourth a wise man had said that an offering was necessary.

"But I have nothing, sir." He replied. The wise man had advised him to crusade. "Crusading will grant you a reward in this life." So he had walked the Pilgrims trail, to the first outpost. There he had waited for a group of crusaders, so he could begin his offering.

~ ~ ~

The very first group of crusaders to take the Pilgrim's trail had been the group that he had joined. According to the Master of the Guard, their mission was the most important one they had coming through there in years. A thief had stolen codex pages from the Assassin king Tzerlag, and to prevent continued skirmishes between the kingdoms, a group of crusaders were returning the codex pages that had been found.

He had been there when Brother Edmund had put the codex pages into a basket woven of cables, and he had been there when Brother Edmund and the Master of the Guard had discussed the route, and the dangers along the way. Their caravan numbered four hundred strong. Four hundred strong was more than enough, even for a mission of this importance.

~ ~ ~

The ambush had happened at the entrance to the tunnel through the ranges. The soldiers and crusaders had circled Brother Edmund's carriage, and they had all fought to the death.

Only he had survived.

While the battle had raged outside the carriage, he had smashed the lock on the cable basket with the pommel of his sword, and stuffed the five codex pages, wrapped in wax paper, up his gambeson sleeve. He had then tied a piece of cord around his wrist and sleeve to seal it, and then, outside, he had joined the melee again.

The bandits had outnumbered them almost two to one, and had quickly slaughtered all but the best fighters; the professional soldiers and seasoned men at arms. Under the weight of numbers, the best fighters would fall too. But not before he reached the entrance to the tunnel, his pursuers dead by his sword, and the sword of the four deceased comrades who had followed him.

The tunnel was unlit, and he had no torch, but he knew that it was dead straight with no branches, and so he stumbled into the darkness.

~ ~ ~

Torches in the darkness behind him warned him of his pursuers. They were too far to see him, so He took refuge in a crag in the rocks of the tunnel. As they passed, their quiet conversation made his blood run cold with fear.

The bandit Warlord, in his fury at having had the codex pages taken during the battle had ordered the wounded crusaders be piked to death where they lay. Meanwhile he had sent a dozen of his remaining men into the darkness of the tunnel, to reach the end and then hold the exit, as his main force scoured it thoroughly from behind. All this he had learned whilst following them through the tunnel. He had considered waiting for them to pass in his hiding place, but now was glad he had not.

~ ~ ~

The tunnel was long, and the scouts had set a fast pace for hours. When they stopped for a rest, they were exhausted.

So was he, but to rest was to die.

They made camp in the middle of the tunnel, and had posted two sentries for the night; one facing the entrance, and one on the other side facing the exit.

He had stealthily made his way past the first sentry, into the camp. He had killed both sentries and then killed the ten remaining men in their sleep. By his estimate, he would have six hours to make it to the other end of the tunnel. He hoped it would be enough.

~ ~ ~

Near the end of the tunnel he had encountered some traders. He looked like hell.

"Don't go that way." He had told them. When pressed for information he told them what he could without giving too much away. They had decided to take him to the stronghold of the Assassin king, and he had been picked up by Assassin scouts not four miles away from the tunnel.

The scouts had taken them all to the court of the Assassin king, and he had given the king the pages.

He had refused his reward.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Those were my first kills, my first crusade."

"Then you're Ratel... Ratel the Mercenary... The last time I heard this story you singlehandedly cutting through swathes of outlaws and delivered Tzerlag's daughter yourself."

"Hah. Don't let the truth get in the way of a good story. What happened was trial enough."

"The march through the desert, Seven years in the Eastern Marshes, The Marshal of Umber? Are those stories true?"

"It just depends on which version you've heard."

She pauses to think for a moment. He begins to sharpen his sword once more, and then speaks.

"I spoke to a man, a middle aged man, but scarred, withered to the bone by sorrow and hardship. He was gored by a boar, but killed it in return. It took him weeks to crawl to help. When he ran out of water, he drank out of muddy puddles and filthy holes. He ate raw fish when he could catch them. Insects and moss when he couldn't. When help found him he was weak and feverish; his recovery took months, his experience took years from his life. He's been tried far more than I. I've travelled and fought but I am paid, and well, for it. These passing peasants - I've seen and lived their lives, but briefly. Backbreaking labour for their feudal lords, and they receive just enough to scrape by in return."

"Losing everything but your waterskin, boots and a sword when you crossed the desert... Turning the tables on the Marshal of Umber and his hundred men as he tracked you through the forest... And they've suffered more?"

"The Marshal didn't even have twenty... Yes. My life is easy; I travel, I fight, I'm paid. Occasionally I am hurt, but I don't go hungry, I don't wake before the dawn and labour until after dusk, day in day out. This life is dangerous, but I know naught else. I will die before I'm forty; an early death is the price I will pay for never tilling the soil and toiling for every scrap of food I eat. If anything I am fortunate, aside from this."

The she-elf pauses to consider his words once more.

"Then I don't know how you humans do it. Live your lives I mean, day after day."

"I don't know how you elves came into this world. By all accounts you weren't here, and then you were. And the elements always bent to your will. It's not so for us; If we build a house from wood we cut down the trees for lumber. We carry the wood and saw it and nail it into a house. Whereas I've seen your treetop cities grown from the trees themselves."

"I still remember when my kind thought your kind were primitive brutes for doing so. Some still hold that we were bested because we became too civilised."

"Whereas our historians will tell you that your kind never needed steel until our kinds met in battle, which is why you never sought it, and didn't have it until you needed it."

"Please don't take offense! Your species is relentless, but that is admired by my kind!"

"Relentless... Did you know that our first hunters were persistence hunters?"

"I don't know what that means."

"Before we had steel, or fire, or even stone tools, we would chase our prey down. We would run them to death."

"Chase down... A deer?"

"That's right... You see they can run faster than us, but we can walk all day. We would chase just slowly enough that they could get away, but just fast enough that they were never out of sight. We would chase them until they were so exhausted that we could kill them with our hands. When we had nothing we still found a way. Now we have... Steel... And writing, and poetry. We've traveled the oceans. Maybe one day we will travel the skies. My ancestors survived a history of suffering because we were made to endure; the ability to suffer has been with us from the very beginning. No matter what it takes, no matter the cost."

[minimin1993]

S/M 51

Warning: SMUT.. 18+ Skip till ********* if you dont want to read smut ^^ otherwise there is a story line afterward.

After the funeral, Min was on her way back to California. She walked inside her house finding Sebastian sitting on the couch waiting for her. 

“Welcome home Princess.” He said walking over to Min hugging her tightly. “I miss you so much.” 

“I miss you too Sebastian, I miss you so much.” She said pulling his face down kissing him passionately. “I want you, I need to feel that you’re here with me. Please.”

He lifted her up and walked her over to the couch still kissing her. Once he dropped her on the couch they both shed their clothes quickly before he pushed her down on her back. 

“No foreplay. I need you now.” She said guiding his hard cock into her waiting cunt. He thrust in hard making her arch her back moaning loudly. He knew what she needed and didn’t wait for her to adjust to him before pounding her into the couch. 

“Who do you belong to babygirl?” He asked placing his hand on her neck squeezing feeling her drag her nails down his back. 

“Fuck! Sebastian. I belong to you!” She said pulling him closer to her.

“That’s right. You belong to me! Don’t fucken forget that.” He said pounding her deep until he pulls out turning her around on her hands and knees thrusting back in again. He slapped her ass hard setting a buising pace. 

“Use me Sebastian.” She begged feeling him push her head into the couch pulling both her arms behind her back using it as leverage pounding harder into her making her scream in pleasure. 

“Fuck! Baby girl just like that. This pussy is fucken heaven. Mine.” He said leaning down on top of her biting her neck. 

“I am going to cum Sebastian.” She said feeling him bit neck harder. 

“Cum for me. Let me have it.” He said rutting hard into her until she came hard on him. 

“Oh fuck! YES! FUCK!” He said feeling her walls fluttering clenching his cock hard milking his orgasm into her. 

“Fuck I love you so much Min.” He said turning her face to kiss her gently feeling her clenching her cunt around his softening cock. He turns them on their side slowly getting semi hard, he slowly thrusts back in and out of her making her moan into the kiss. 

“Fuck princess” He said hard again before lifting her leg up and slowly rub her clit with his hand as he slowly makes love to her.

“Baby look at me.” He demanded as she opens her eyes staring back at him with so much love.

“I love you too Sebastian. So fucken much.” She said to him not breaking eye contact. 

“Come with me babygirl please.” He begged her rubbing her clit furiously until she came again with him not far behind her.

*********************************************************************************

 The year 2018 practically flew by quicker then the pair would have liked but the year was nothing but eventful, Sebastian had landed three more movies to make lined up with each other. He was going to deny one not wanting to be away from Min for that long but she encouraged him to go ahead, of course she would miss him dearly but they made the relationship going. Phone calls, text messages, video calls almost daily, even gone to the length of surprising each other in person catching red eye flights to just spend a few hours together. The pair had of course gone together to the premiere of Avenger Infinity War, promoting the movie was fun and the fans were so pissed when they found out Bucky got dusted and what happened to Linda afterward.

Min had finished her album and was currently on a small world tour promoting her music. Everything was going great, until someone got a few pictures of Min and Jennie together even one was of them kissing when they were still together and leaked it to the world causing an uproar in both fandoms. Jennie had gone and debuted in a group called Blackpink and lets say the BLINKs were shocked was an understatement. YG Entertainment was not happy with what had happened but they decided to do a press conference regarding the situation since Jennie was suppose to release a solo soon. 

“So we gathered everyone here today to go over the recent picture that had been released of an ex-member of Mystic and current Marvel star MinYoung and BlackPink’s Jennie. We have contacted both parties involved and found out that the 2 girls were involved in a romantic a few years back but have agreed to a mutual split. We hope you all please don’t send hate to the 2 girls and continue to support them.”

Min was currently spending time with Sebastian where he was filming Monday since she had a week off before she flies to Asia to start her next chapter of Tour.

“Since this scandal I think we should go public soon.” Sebastian said out of nowhere when they were cuddling in bed watching a movie.  

“You want to go public?” “Yeah I do, to be honest I been wanting to go public about our relationship for a while now.” 

“You know what is funny, I am surprised that it wasn’t a picture of us that got leaked. We weren’t exactly hiding our relationship.” She said making Sebastian laugh 

“True, but I think it's cause we always been together since 2010 so they might just think we best friends as this point since we both had a few public relationships.” “How about we wait a few more months and go public at Endgame Premiere? As much as I would love to go public with you, I just had a scandal.” Min suggested. 

“Actually I think your right, that will have to be the best time to come out.” 

 Fast Forward to Endgame Premiere

“You look very beautiful in that dress princess.” Sebastian said the moment he saw her step out in her outfit.

“You don’t think it's a bit much?” She said giving him a twirl. 

“Not at all, I can’t believe you are mine.” He said coming over to her grabbing her waist pulling her close to him. 

“Well believe it, I have always been yours.” Min said smiling lovingly at him as the pair heads down to the limo that has been waiting for them.

The drive to the location was fairly short since the pair got ready in a nearby hotel.

“Ready to let the whole world know princess?” 

“As I ever will be.” She answered when Sebastian opens the door and stepped out with a huge grin on his face hearing the fans cheer loudly along with the many clicks of the cameras. He waves to the camera with his hand up before he turns back to the car and helped Min out who was also smiling brightly. Instead of offering his elbow like he normally does he lifted his hand up for her to grab as they interlace their hands together while staring into each other's eyes without hiding their feelings for each other. As the pair walked up the walkway the fans went crazy seeing their hands together rather than their usual position. Once they reached the end of the walkway, the pair posed for a couple pictures until Sebastian turned Min toward him. She stares at him with a look ‘Here?’ and he just winks at her with his usual smirk before leaning down taking her lips on his. Everyone cast, crew, photographers, and fans all went wild chanting ‘BuckLin’ as they watch the pair kiss passionately on the walkway. 

“I think that went well.” Sebastian said with a smile on his face as he rested his forehead on hers.

“You are such a dork.” Min said shaking her head giving him a chaste kiss before they headed in waving to their fans. 

“So you guys have finally decided to come out?” Chris said coming over patting Sebastian and Min on the shoulder. 

“Oh shut up.” Sebastian said nudging Chris shoulder. 

“Leave the pair alone, I just want to know how long has this been a thing and how the hell didn’t I know about it.”  RDJ said coming over giving Min a hug. “Almost 2 years, to be honest I am surprise no one caught us sooner, we weren’t very subtle.” Min blushed.

“No they weren't when we wrapped up filming, Anthony and I caught them in quite a very interesting position.” Chris winks at Min making her blush more as Sebastian laughs at his girl. 

“Oh god damn it where was I when that happened? Wait don’t answer that, I don’t think I can see someone who I look at as a daughter in such a state. Susan where are you? Come and save me.” RDJ said looking around playfully. “Anyways take care of her Sebastian, if you hurt her I swear to god, I will hunt you down and no one will find the body.” RDJ warned making Sebastian gulp.

“Robert stop scaring him, if anything he has been perfect to me before and after we got together.” Min saves Sebastian. 

“I know, I just like to make him sweat a little.” RDJ told Min before she got whipped away by Chris to take more pictures together. 

“You got a good one here Sebastian, cherish it. You will never find anyone like her. You got my blessings.” RDJ said making Sebastian beam in pride since RDJ always protects Min like he was her father. 

“Yes sir, I don’t plan to let her go ever.” Sebastian said smiling over at Min who caught his eyes and smiles back at him lovingly.