#yes i am turning this into a trolls blog why do you ask

[koppaiterocker]

I literally cannot get over this picture of Barb it's taking all my strength to not make it my pfp everywhere

[ausssbutlershortstories]

To all the anons and shippers:

First, kindly fuck off. Grow up and learn how to engage with people on the internet who's opinions differ from yours. Secondly, get a hobby. Thirdly, ask yourself why you are defending someone who doesn't know you, will forget you moments after meeting you, and doesn't care that you are up in arms for her.

Now to every bringing up that Zoe what at the party as a defense for kaia's actions and behavior... What does those two things have to do with each other? Was Zoe's mere presence supposed to make Kaia behave herself? Was zoe there to baby sit her and somehow fail? Was zoe supposed to police this grown ass adult and keep her faithful (we'll say it this way since we don't have confirmation that they broke up) was zoe supposed to get between Kaia and Marcelo and remind them to leave a foot for Jesus?

How does Zoe and Austin working together mean she is some how responsible for Kaia at a party? What does her existing or non existent relationship with Kaia supposed to do to change the contents or context of those pictures? Explain it to us like we're five.

"The pictures are innocent. I dance with my guy friends like that, it's not a big deal. Austin likes to work, Kaia likes to party. They were drunk. Blah blah blah!"

At the end of the day you make yourself sound like the kind of girls, yes girls not women cause y'all be acting childish, that think kissing a girl isn't cheating on your boyfriend. Or giving a lap dance to a guy friend would be ok with your partners cause, y'all just friends. In adult relationships, there's boundaries and expected behaviors. Kaia is a child acting out and y'all wanna defend her by making yourselves sound trashy and toxic.

Grow up, get some life and love experience, then come join the conversation.

Sorry for the long rant, I'm just really tired of seeing this bs. They have their own blogs to bitch on, they need to leave us alone.

Hugs and loves to you, even to you bratty idiots. You'll wisen up one day.

First and foremost long rants are welcomed. I want this to be a safe space for people since we don’t get that much in the fandom.

I’ll say it again Zoe has nothing to do with the actions of Kaia. Just because she is working with Austin doesn’t mean Kaia will have any shame doing what she did.

I am over shippers at this point . You can’t even have a reasonable conversation with them. They see that you don’t kiss Kaia’s ass and turn into fucking trolls.

[catified-yttd]

blog master's guidelines

kanna theme cause she's a cutie :D

also the kanna icon is by @feralbreadx he made it for my bday he's super nice btw

GENERAL INFO — follows, likes, etc are from @lyricist-anon

@dogifiedyttd = my evil twin!! (support them or ill fight u)

1. ꒱ dni with this blog or me if you support ai 'art', are homophobic, transphobic, racist, etc. also people who hate on young/beginner artist/singers/etc let me tell you literally no one wanted your opinion and you should keep it to yourself because I think they're doing great anyway just dni if ur on this list please

2. ꒱ no hating on characters!!! also no arguing please let's be respectful

3. ꒱ please be respectful in asks/comments/etc!! i may take time to answer :'D but i really do my best <3

4. ꒱ all my art on this blog will still feature silly cats— may draw normally but will keep cat theme

5. ꒱ no logic route spoilers!! i only recently finished emotion & am new to the fandom

6. ꒱ do not use my dividers!!

READ MORE FOR ASKS RELATED

1. ꒱ thank u for making it this far!! also asks make me really happy <33

2. ꒱ no nsfw

3. ꒱ no drawings that do not include cats

4. ꒱ yes i will draw your fav yes i will draw ur otp yes i will draw your oc etc etc just drop the ask

5. ꒱ just don't claim as ur own :D but why would you claim these as ur own they're shitty cat drawings— also you may use these as pfp w/o asking as long as you don't claim as ur own :DD

6. ꒱ do not flood my asks. ask and then wait. i will do my best to answer them all!! (multiple asks w/ diff topic is ok!!)

7. ꒱ art asks r prioritized by who sent them first!! if you see me answering others but not you, it's probably that they were there first!! also non art related asks may be first because im a little lazy and can get to those first

8. ꒱ i am not comfortable with drawing any 18- char with any 18+ char!! 18- ships must have a 2 yr age gap max & 18+ ships 4 yr age gap max! characters with age ranges x eachother will be given the benefit of the doubt [ ex: early 20s x mid 20s will be counted as 24 x 25] i also am not good with ages so i may accidentally draw a ship im not ok with— please don't call me a hypocrite, i most likely genuinely did not know :((

8. ꒱ do not argue with me over these rules— if you don't like it, please respectfully ask & not attack me and i will explain why. if you still dont understand my pov, please just don't interact with my things for your sake.

9. ꒱ if i recieve annoying/troll/bullying/wtvr w/ anonymous, i will turn them off and people will have to ask to be put as anonymous (i will type the exact ask out). please don't ruin this for everyone

10. ꒱ PLEASE WHEN DOING ASKS— do not write smth like 'safamiley'. please write safalin x miley. i do not know your ship names and it confuses me. also specify your ocs with a link/pic of their appearance and personality. same goes for aus, genderbent names, etc. please treat me like a 3 year old i don't know these things

kitty joe (ITS SOO CUTE :D)

money (yipeee)

bday kanna kitty (CUTIE AAAAA)

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

To be more clear about the situation, as far as I can tell most of the trans women who received that copypasta are very outspoken about transmisogyny, so it's not so weird to see that they would find something more or less saying "I'm diagnosing you with being a radfem, the only cure is me fucking you" to be an act of transmisogyny (the same way if a cis guy told a cis woman "shut up about feminism and let's fuck" it would be seen as... Well definitely not very progressive).

That being said you weren't privy to any of that so it's silly that they keep acting like the way you reacted to a stupid ask targeted at YOU (and only you as far as you were aware) is evidence of bigotry.

If I don’t follow every trans woman and like all of her posts and read them thrice before bedtime I am transmisogyny incarnate.

Joking of course but on a serious note this handful of people acting as though they speak for every trans woman on the planet? Weird behavior. Especially when using it to not only assume but insist they know my gender based on arbitrary characteristics of what they saw me type on my blog.

I’m going to be fully honest here, I do think the person spreading the copypasta is one of their own clique trying to legitimize a lot of what they assert about TME people as a whole, trans men in particular. I’ve seen plenty of other groups do the same before, not that unrealistic to say it’s what happened here. Especially considering the over the top response to it that I can’t recall ever seeing for any other obvious copypasta trolling before.

Not that I can prove any of that of course. I will say though as a generalized piece of advice to anyone who gets weird messages like that: the only way to win with a troll is to troll. If you respond to them in any way that takes their bait seriously, you’re giving them what they want. They want to hurt and upset you. They want to make you look foolish in a big grandiose and angry response they can show their friends and laugh about. They like having that power over a stranger’s emotions because they really don’t have much else going on.

So you can either ignore their bait and move on so they spend days refreshing your blog and fuming that you aren’t rewarding their efforts with a response, or you can “yes, and” them as part of the joke which instead makes them look foolish because it turns the joke around on them and shows the person they wanted to mock isn’t fazed by their goading. I tend to prefer the latter because it’s more fun. See an obvious troll ask prescribing me getting sucked silly by a nice tboy or two to “fix” whatever politics I have that they don’t like? Lean into the bit, demand and beg frantically for them to show me how to find these tboys to do just that.

There’s no reason to take anyone who sends you troll bait seriously, so why not have a little fun instead of playing into their hand?

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

I just announced on my writing blog why I deleted (redacted fic name) and in record time, I got 3 asks of such varying colour and it's actually hilarious.

the minute that a writer flexes the fact that they can take back their fics if you are rude to them, you have a toddler fit and become even more rude. how do you not see what the problem is here?

shade one: "well if you deleted it, you're actually letting the trolls and haters win. and the people who were actually nice to you and left nice comments didn't do anything and now we don't get the fic for no reason!!" aka the classic: 'you're punishing the whole class for no reason'.

that is literally my fucking point.

I am trying to make the rude people feel worse (if they can even have that much conscious thought) - because it is a handful of rude comments that overshadow the nice comments. that is just how the human brain works unfortunately. one rude comment on a fic with ten nice comments is unfortunately more memorable, so people just need to stop being rude in the comments of fics. my whole point: if you have rude things to say - don't comment. pack it up and leave. you don't have to comment 'criticisms' on a fic. you really don't.

also, the reason I left it on AO3, a place where I can turn off comments (because you can't turn off replies on just one post on Tumblr, you have to turn them off on your account altogether) - is so that the 'nice people' can still read it. I just don't have to listen to people whine in the comments anymore

shade two: "you call other people entitled but you're the entitled one!!"

the minute that an author reminds you that fanfiction can be taken away from you, you get pressed. cute

shade three: "just ignore the rude comments and keep writing what you wanna write!! people are allowed to have their own opinions about your story!!"

sigh. I am literally so. fucking. sick. of this fucking attitude.

one: this is what I am doing. I am planning to continue writing while trying my best to ignore all the rude comments on that fic that I have gotten. I am not gonna start writing sweet, smooth female characters just because people endlessly called my main character a mean bitch in that fic. I am gonna continue writing what I want to.

BUT that fic and the reception of it left such a harsh taste in my mouth about that fandom and those characters that I no longer want to write for that fandom. you see how it works? you can deter writers away from certain fandoms with rudeness

two: why is it my job to ignore rude comments on my fics rather that it being readers jobs not to comment rude things on fics that they have access to for free? why should I have to endure the mental stress of having my work berated? yes, people are entitled to having 'their own opinion' about my story, but they are not entitled to put it in the comments where I am forced to read it. and don't pretend that I'm not forced to read it - because it becomes a direct notification toward me when people make those comments.

you can have your opinions, but you don't have to speak them aloud. why is that not common sense?

I come across plenty of things in fanfiction that I don't like (fatphobia, boring smut, the colour system, belly bulge kink, the list goes on) but I keep my mouth shut about it. the number of comments I have made about those things to authors in the last year - 0.

anyway.

I am gonna come back later this year with fics that I am proud of and hopefully I won't have to turn the comments off with those fics

[queenharumiura]

GET TO KNOW NEO

name — Neo and on some other blogs An-chan

pronouns— She/her

preferred comms — I get webhooks alerts to replies and asks, and tumblr very rarely alerts me to ims, but it is available to those who prefer communications via tumblr. Discord is the most reliable.

name of muse — Haru Miura on this blog and many more that i'm too lazy to list out on other blogs.

experience in RP — Around 16 years I think. Crazy as it is, I started out on Quizilla when you used to be able to message people. Then I moved to a proboards site when a friend invited me to join one she created. Was there for a long time. Dabbled a bit in RP'ing with a group on DeviantArt. Did a bit of skype rp from there. Then I moved to tumblr rp. I may have attempted to dabble in discord RP and ye- it's not exactly for me, but I can do it. I hate feeling limited though.

best experiences— Any iteration of: "You know, you made me change my mind on how I see Haru." Truly, the biggest serotonin boost I'd ever need in life. This is my goal in life. What I aspire to do with my writing. Not RP, but I got a Haru hater to like Haru after reading a few of my fics years back. You thought you were going to hate read and give hate? Jokes on you, I OPENED YOUR EYES.

pet peeves/dealbreakers — If you've reposted fanart without credit nor permission and i've talked to you about it and you dismissed my concerns about reposting fanart, i'll instantly block you. It's in my rules for a reason. Tho- I suppose that's just breaking my rules so maybe it doesn't count as a dealbreaker?

Not necessarily a peeve but more of a turn off, but I really don't like it when someone has the repeat energy of 'No one would want to rp with me, I don't see why I bother,' 'Did anyone miss me? No? Okay' etc. It probably sounds petty of me, but I don't like it. It dismisses the efforts of those who have been trying to connect to you, and I come onto tumblr to have fun, so I don't want to come here and feel bogged down. The energy actually disheartens me and brings my own mood down because I end up sympathizing with them too much. For the sake of my own mentality, I end up distancing myself.

muse preference ( fluff, angst, smut ) — I enjoy fluff and angst a lot. Smut... depends... on the muse... and relationships... and how comfortable I am with the mun. I'm big shy in general so it can take time to warm me up to talking about smut in regards to muses. Once I'm used to talking to you about it and i'm comfortable with you, i'm pretty open about it. Truly, I'm big on troll humor though, so crack humor kinda threads really have my heart. If you wanna talk smut with me, you gotta be the one to bring it up because 99.5% of the time, it won't be me bringing it up first.

IF we aren't shipping, then you better hope one day I even reblog a risque meme for you to inquire about it. I'm a lil wary about talking about it to begin with.

plot or memes — Plots, as some of us know that i'm not very keen on memes as my relationship with the inbox is not positive. Still working on it though, one blog at a time. Memes are fun when i'm in the mood for them. This goes for reblogging them or sending in to people.

long or short replies — Both are fine with me, and both are great in their own right. Long ones are nice as they give you a lot to explore but it also takes a while to reply to and it can tire me out. Short threads are short and simple. They're nice, and then you get me being suddenly inspired and whoops- suddenly it's a long thread. (short replies = 3 paragraphs in my mind).

best time to write — I'm finding myself to be more active in the night hours, so the PMs. I do tend to be high inspiration in the AMs, but i'm usually at work or low energy. So that's when I spend the time thinking of what i'll write and then stow those ideas for when I do have the energy.

are you like your muse?: I've been told that I'm very much like Haru, and it's mostly in some habits, i'd say. Haru is a way better human than I am. Fit for life. I, a dehydrated prune is not fit for life. We both share our troll heart, our tendency for conspiracy thoughts, dramatics, speaking in third person and such. Basically, consider me the unhealthy introvert AU for Haru.

Tagged by: @ryuusake

Tagging: I don't tag

[silvernyxchariot]

More About Me

ᴀ ᴍᴜʟᴛɪғᴀᴄᴇᴛᴇᴅ ᴇʟᴅʀɪᴛᴄʜ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛᴜʀᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ᴏʙsᴇʀᴠᴇs ᴀɴᴅ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀsᴛᴀɴᴅs ᴅɪғғᴇʀᴇɴᴛ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴇxɪsᴛ. ʙᴜᴛ ɪ'ᴍ ᴀʟsᴏ sᴛɪʟʟ ᴊᴜᴅɢᴍᴇɴᴛᴀʟ.

⚠️DNI: TERFs & FemiNazis, racists, bigots, anti-LGBT+, trolls, harassers, MAPs/pedophiles, incest shippers, meta-slaves/meta-gamers, anti self & OC shippers.⚠️

Current Favs: Supernatural, Wuthering Waves, JoJo's Bizarre Adv. (pt.1-6, reading pt.7)

Romantic/Intimate Self Ships:

¹ Donquixote Doflamingo, One Piece*

² Sunday, Honkai: Star Rail

³ Kavetham, Genshin Impact

Kin List

¹ Al Haitham & Zhongli; Genshin Impact

² Lisa Yadōmaru & Sui-Feng; Bleach

³ Akasuna no Sasori; Naruto: Shippuden

⁴ Castiel; Supernatural

⁵ Gregory Violet; Black Butler

⁶ Giorno Giovanna; JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Vento Aureo

⁷ Daria Morgendorffer; Daria

• "Will you post more content for [blank] series?"

If I feel like it. My asks are open, but currently Anonymous is not available. That privilege is revoked right now.

• Rules

Remain civil and friendly to me and others. If you don't like my content, block me, as I also block freely. If Anon is turned off and you do not want your info in the answer blog, say that, and I will omit your info.

No personal questions. No questions relating to incest, pedophilia, or kinks such as watersports, golden showers, or scat. Blood play, breath play, knives, guns, some gore and horror or dark themes are accepted.

I reserve the right to ignore and decline asks or block any patron for any reason.

Q&A

• How are you?

🎶Stressed, depressed, obsessed, and possessed🎶(/small ref)

• What do you post?

Mostly rambling thoughts about my current obsession, including headcanons, one-shots, actual rants, and gaming thoughts.

Sometimes I post my art, but I'll leave that more to my Insta and TikTok.

• Are you autistic?

Yes.

I was also under the impression that many of us here on Tumblr have some form of psychosis or multiple./lh

I use tone indicators, italics, bold letters, warnings, emojis, slang & colloquial vocabulary, JPN emoticons, and strikeout text to emphasize different tones and moods in my writing. Which also leads me to: if you find my tone rude, that is your own fault.

It is not anyone's job to make you comfortable or tiptoe around your feelings on their own blog. (rant here)

• "You sound familiar. Have we met before?"

No.

The internet is a vast place, connecting people of various cultures, countries, languages, socio-political, and spiritual beliefs. I advise you to grow up, meet new people, or venture outside of the small circle you live in.

• "I've never met someone like you before" or "I'm slightly confused by your behaviour. It's unusual."

"Since everyone thinks many various things, it is difficult to understand them." - Tokyo Ghoul, Uta, Sui Ishida

Although not a question, this relates to the previous statement. In this year, 2024, people still choose to be ignorant and oblivious that people with different... everything exists (continents, languages, cultures, spiritual beliefs, attitudes, personality types, and, in my case, speech styles, apparently 🙄). And pull out the "I've never met anyone like you before" card. At this point, it's just brain dead of them.

• Are you an AI artist?

No. If I still had my DeviantArt account from 2011, it would be very clear that I worked hard to get to where I am today. I do not support AI "art," "artists," or art theft.

• Are you a shipper?

*Alan Rickman voice* Obviously.

To my understanding, self shippers are also called "Yume(doshi/jin/danshi)," for (fem/neu/masc) respectively. So, I am a yumejin.

But with all these other labels, I think you kids would call me a "neutral shipper." But I'm starting to understand proshippers more and more each day. My golden rule is, I will either block you or ignore you if I don't like your work, blog, or ship. What you ship is your own damn business. Not my problem. Of course, on my own blog, I have my limits. As I respect your space, respect mine. Why people aren't logical enough to do this, just makes me believe fandom spaces deserve the hate they get. Examples:

I am a monster fucker and accept furries, but not bestiality (real animals).

I don't approve of pedophilia or the adjacent. But I'm not going to harass you for liking Nahida.

I, too, like Kaeya and Diluc x Lumine shipping (read that as "hentai"), but not specifically Kaeya x Diluc because I see them as sworn brothers.

To my understanding, proshippers are people who are willing to ship anything while letting people be and comshippers purposefully ship things that are seen as "dark" or "complicated." All for entertainment purposes, of course.

I'm definitely not an Anti. Last time I checked, I don't do that thing where Anti's will tell you to "kys :)))" or "i hope u get r🍇ped and assaulted again because u deserve it🥰". I'm not going to rant to you like I'm morally superior to you and, in the same breath, be a harasser. Dear Anti's, make it make sense. 🤨 Because you are being more harmful than helpful.

Foot notes:

* Uncomfortable sharing because someone tried stealing and copying my art and OC...🧍‍♂️We were in the same fucking One Piece server too, like "You're not slick." The mods KNEW this person for copying and tracing other art too, but they let it slide for months, until a group of us were fed up with her and retaliated.

[heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon]

[Happy Valentines Day, Everyone! 💘🦌 This started out as a shitpost about me needing an animatic of Alastor dancing alone in the nude through an empty Hotel and then somehow morphed into the pitch for my podcast idea. Yes it's long, no... I'm not sorry.]

Okay so, as a followup to this post, I just watched all of Saltburn (2023) last night, and ...

This film is literally so Alastor Coded I could write down an entire essays worth of parallels like I don't know why prudes insist on clutching their pearls and ruining everyone's fun?

Also, for all the pain that ...V*rbalA*e.... and the whole Poison Controversy TM have put us through despite never actually including any nudity or naughty bits in ether of those animations... I've decided that I'm just going to have to find a way to commission someone to animate the most professional, tasteful, artistic, homage/parody of Alastor actually doing Oliver's little victory dance at the end of Saltburn possible, wherein of course Al's nudity will be uncensored and full frontal, just as Oliver's is at end of the film.

That way, the transformation will be complete and the boys will truly have the "Same Character Energy" that the poor Prime Video Canada Employee boasted. 😈

Why am I even considering doing this? Because at this point I think it's the kind of consolation prize that all the patient girlies deserve and because if there weren't so many tacky snapback hats on sharkrobot and if some people didn't throw Angel under the bus so much, we could have a queer femme pleasure centered 18 to 21+ fanbase that was actually as good as the shows, if not better, at least in terms of adult fanservice, which I think should be the norm in an adult fandom space and we (queer/femme fans) wouldn't have so suffer as much just for wanting it like that?

But also, because I guess I'm just a chaotic neutral little troll who likes to stir the pot with my tail while cackling maniacally to piss people off. 😈🌹

And yes, I'm aware of how I just conjured up about fifty thousand different kinds of nightmares in some people's heads trying to parse out just how terrible this one scene from Saltburn I'm referring to is and how horrible the respective parody of it I just decided I'm going to try and make happen with Alastor for funsies, might be because I know that some people won't even bother to check out the source material that'll be pulling from because I know some of you just simply refuse watch anything that isn't a cartoon despite being in your 20s or older, and to those specific types of people I know might be reading this, all I have to say is, you're welcome. 😈

I'm actually 50% serious about trying to do this and I'm gonna try to shoot my shot with some animators and if I actually get a response from any of the people I already have in mind would be a good fit for this and they actually agree to do it, I might start asking for donations, in order to give you guys something in return, I might start a podcast.... I've thinking about turning all my Hazbin posts into something a little more than just blog posts for a very long time because I just feel like there's so much more talk about that I haven't really seen talked about from like, a queer feminine or even disabled perspective... And I was intending to save all my ideas so they could be turned into like, a huge "Retrospective" project that I was planning to begin doing after Hazbin and Helluva as a series were completely finished ... But now that watching Saltburn last night just sparked the idea to make what would have to be a completely monetized shitpost just by nature what this idea is... I don't know. Especially with the first season already be completed.... Would you guys support me hosting a completely queer femme run discussion podcast about these shows and the impact they've had as a kind of internet sub cultural phenomenon, from an insider/fans perspective? Because I've been waiting to hear a feminine queer person tackle just this subject for a while now, and so far nobody has, at least not in the way that I feel it needs or deserves to be. So I think I might as well be the the one to start doing that. And I think I might open up a poll ...

I do promise that the podcast idea I have in mind will be better put together than the hunicast, realistically speaking. I know if I do this I'm technically going starting out this podcast idea early for horny reasons, not to syke anyone out or put anyone down for being so. 🙏🩷👀

Before I start this poll, I just want to tell everyone that you can reblog this with your own feedback about my idea to start a podcast focusing on my opinions on Medrano's adult work, and follow me if your interested, and I would greatly appreciate that, since I notice that my posts are slowly getting my traction even as I'm typing this and I'm slowly gaining more followers and the post this is a followup to that I made yesterday keeps getting more likes even as I'm typing this ... L O L! 😂🙏❤️

But regardless of what happens I'd like to thank everyone and other than that I just wanna say ... Stay Tuned~! 😘❤️🌹 X.O

[steamedtangerine]

Tumblr drama ahead...

Thought I could get through this year unscathed without encountering one troll. But NOOOOO! -there must be some clause that stipulates somewhere that every account has to get honked off by something crawling out from out of the woodwork.

The rundown: I make a post of a well-known erotic artist (known across -and over-three different platforms), and make clear in the text description who the artist is. I assume the artist is well-known enough (and that the majority of users are not feebs incapable of looking the artist up for themselves). I did my research before posting-there was a similar post by the artist put up years ago (when "nipple-exposed" was BAD), but the one I had was the restored, uncensored original one (probably as the artist intended) yet to be posted in it's entirety.

The post gets traction....lots of it....the kind that makes me go "oh boy, it's already starting to draw too much attention from some of the more flippy, empty sus accounts here"----sort of like realizing you put too much of a higher wattage bulb in on your porchlight, and now it starts to attract every insect from the tri-state area. I'm sure just a visit to my blog will give the stats on what the exact post is.

Then this random account (that does not follow me, but to their benefit, appears to be "progressive"-not that they touch certain political topics, though they seem overly-argumentative about certain hot button cultural topics-and yes, they've been around a while) happens upon the post and chides me in the comment section (not in reblog fashion, mind you, but just the comment section) for not hashtagging the artist (though noone else seems to have problem finding the artist-I was able to see the post come up by basic search alone)- as if I never intended to make mention of the artist at all, which is obviously not the case. They include an "@" URL in their comment, which turns out to not even be an actual functioning URL to the artist's blog, which already clues me in that they are not the artist, nor are they affiliated with them in any manner.

I notice there are many other accounts on Tumblr who post the popular artist by text mention and do not hashtag, as well, yet, their posting is not as popular....so, why are they not under the same scrutiny as I am here?

I politely mention in a replying comment that if it's a matter of accreditation, I did mention the well-known artist in the text. It must've done the job, seeing by all the users flocking to it. I also mention there are better URLs (then the one they provided) to at least two of the functioning blogs by said artist. To be fair, I go back, and edit my post to add hashtags using the artist's name, if it makes that much more of a difference for the better. Everybody's happy. Right?

Well, the account then replies by taking the obtuse and exaggerated trademark tactic (used by so many Reddit trolls) and wrangles and angles things into this weird mocking of me as being some narcissist who feels they are the only designated conduit of promoting the artist's work....which is not what any single account here on Tumblr ever thinks when posting work from a well-known and aptly accredited the artist.

Keep in mind, no other accounts posting this artist's work (without any hashtags or a vast cluttering array of links going to what could add up to five different outside platforms) is getting this kind of criticism as I am getting here.

I have one of those "doing the dishes" revelations, I pull back, and calmly ask "how did they find the post in question". Up until this point, they never addressed why they posted a faux-URL from the getgo, as I pointed out, and now they are avoiding telling me how they found the post (because, seriously, what IS this really all about?). The next comment is another attempt to mock me of being narcissistic (again) over a post I supposedly "STOLE!".

Whoa whoa whoa Whooa! Theft!? You are going to accuse me of theft? That is a serious accusation. I never claimed this work as my own. This is not a repost of anything found here; I did my research before posting it. I gave accreditation of the artist in the description.

Anyone who has known me on this blog has known that-in the past-I have called out those that have reposted another user's work without giving accreditation to the artist-whether it be @nicholasklaw (who clearly left for IG), @n-lite , or @wax-pack-glam (seems a lot of A-holes on NewtTumbl ripped off his work and were posting it with out giving props on Reddit-and you can go there and see for yourself the kind of sh!t they are pulling by punishing someone for being creative). If I ever failed to give credit to an artist, I ask anyone to show me my mistake, and I will correct it. If I posted something an artist did not want posted here, I ask that that certain artist in particular to approach me diplomatically, so the matter can be handled in a civil fashion....and I also ask the artist to be fair and track down the other three (or so) sources out there online that have the same image (be it Imagefap, Deviantart, Reddit, etc.) and request the same treatment if they feel they are being misrepresented.

Which all boils down to....what IS this even about?

It''s kind of obvi actually. What we have here is some troll account with a "progressive-light" hat on (the kind that finds it easier to sow divisions and make microaggressions online about gender or anything else, then to actually address real critical outside issues about fascists trying to kill LGBT activists in some countries, promoting BS obstructive Freedom Convoys, invading other countries, or perpetuating conversion therapy in some states-y'know, the kind of incisive topics that most of us had no problem addressing here on Tumblr), who was drawn to this post by an algorithm, and is finding every ungodly means to get a foothold to be a contentious knob about it. It's a shame to think that some of the most persevering accounts on a platform like Reddit are these multi-trophy 8-year+ trolls that are embedded like a case of herpes. It was bad back when every single dang posting on Reddit had some obligatory sh!tposter on there to spew some dumb trash, but as for me.....here on Tumblr....I guess it takes me posting something so popular it attracts someone (with an obvious axe to grind with me for some reason-God only knows) being ugly enough to make the unjustified accusation of theft.

Seems to happen every year. Someone flips out that I-for posterity sake-linked an article about White Supremacists in Germany as an example of how they are covering such topics here, because, I guess they have a flipped-out hatred about American reporting, even as an example of what they were griping about. Another (avatarless) account accuses me of mislabeling a popular gif about Cecilia Lion-and though two other sites positively ID it as her, this account is unable to tell me who they think it really is. Once, I gave a supportive comment about someone else's gripes about empty accounts on Tumblr, and they flip out and demand to know how "I found their post" (uh-it came up by a basic search on the site), and before I can respond, they accuse me of "bad vibes", block me, and then spy on my with alt-accounts accusing me of being a porn/politics blog (just what about my politics upsets them?...Hmmmmm?) with "bad vibes" even (oddly enough, said account loved posting 4Chan stuff....and I'm the "bad vibes?!...OkaaaaAAY). The last example is exactly why I don't take the bait to complain along with these newbie accounts griping about "twue Cwime" (deliberately sic) posters flooding in and choking off the site with their ugly satirical sh!tposting love for school mass murderers....they are obviously colluding with the exact accounts they claim to hate because they want feedback on how toxic they've made a platform and also who they can keep tabs on to harass.

Right now, I just don't need this. I ate something with caffeine that caused a reaction in me, jacked up my blood pressure, and I had to call into work.

Again, if anyone has a problem with how I accredit an artist on a platform that is all about sharing and exposure of an artist's work (especially if I have done it in ANY different fashion than the way any body else here has been doing it here for-God only knows-over a decade now), approach me civilly and to the point. Do not dally around with jacking me on nitpicky protocol (which I was accommodating about, in regards to everyone's beloved hashtags), then look for any axe-grinding way to find an obtuse angle to chide me, and then go for the jugular with false accusation of theft.

[withloveajaxx]

for the ask game!! cinnamon, mauve, blush, fuchsia, lavender, umber, razzmatazz, safron YES <3

IVE MISSED U TOO ☹️💗 & TELL YOU EVERYTHING?? OMG OKOK (it’s mainly me being sad tho bc life is unfair)

I’ve been doing alright, the two times I moved blogs tho,, it had to do w personal problems & some people had the audacity to send in asks that they rlly shouldn’t have bc it made me so damn uncomfortable and it was not helping w my current state so I left :,) THE SECOND TIME I LEFT WAS ALSO BC OF MY PROBLEMS GETTING WORSE AND WORSE and everything was going downhill and I needed a break + people were still making me uncomfortable w their asks (turned them off before I left again) I had accidentally deleted my only moots blog which I had to replace but using the same url (@yonayie pls my layla theme was so cool I miss it) I then deleted my other blog and moved here!! away from the trolls!! and weirdos who can’t comprehend the fact that I’m a minor!!

I spent my Christmas and new years on the verge of tears, it was not fun 😭 my house started flooding on Christmas and it scared the shit out of me!!! & on new years?? i cried bc 2022 was an ass and sm happened it was terrible & we didn’t set off fireworks like we used to so that sucked :,)

school has been a PAIN. I’m a complete loner so that makes everything harder 😭 & my math teacher? literally how did he get hired he cannot teach to save his life he’s so unfair too it’s CRAZY HNGJSJWIJE the only way I get a passing grade is if I self-study and do rlly well on the end of course test in april (which is getting dangerously close im not ready) I dislike my drama teacher 👨‍🏫 I’m okay with my environmental sci teacher + history teacher theyre chill 🤞the workload is manageable so I think I’ll be able to get all of my credits most def!!

oh oh my birthday is on the 27th!! yes this friday pls im not sure if I’ll be able to do anything for it but if not it’s okay <3 (it’d be the 3rd year not celebrating it which is why I’m so chill abt it that’s so sad 😭)

wow omg that’s sm word vomit pls!! why has my life been so depressing I cannot!! i just hope this year doesn’t treat me as badly!! PRAYS 🙏

okay now ur turn TELL ME EVERYTHINGGG <33 (everything that u can ofc 💓)

STOP WAIT,,, I INSPIRE YOU??? HELP WHY DOES THAT MAKE MY DAY WTF YONA PLEASE ILYSM 💗💗

also omg that's a lot that happened in your absence,,, FIRST OF ALL, i will willingly beat up life and people for you i swear,,, those weirdos better watch out for these hands >:((. secondly, i'm sorry that school, christmas, and new year were a pain in the butt :((. i hope everything gets better for you!! and ofc if you need anyone to talk to, i'll do my best to reply mwah 🫶

AND OMG okay what's been happening in my life,,, i'll put this under a cut so ppl don't need to scroll for too long HAHDJXJSJD

OKAY SO FIRST OF ALL... COLLEGE APPLICATIONS. good god those humbled me HAHDJKDKSD LYK I AM ACTUALLY STUPID 💀 the one i recently took was so fucking hard it was not even funny,,, like they put shit i've never learned, heard of, or saw and it was HORRIBLE. i was literally guessing everything math related please pray for my future </33 HAHDJDJKD.

ALSO!! I GOT INTO KPOP MORE AGAIN HEHEHEHE. i recently went to a concert of one of my favorite groups and holy shit. i cried. like so many times. HAHDJCKDF IT WAS CRAZY GETTING TO SEE THEM IRL AND I JUST AAAAAAAAJSKCIISJD 😭😭 i'm also seeing another group next week,,, MY ULTIMATE FAVORITE ONE. and i shit you not i am not mentally or emotionally prepared to see those men up close and on stage HSJFKDKDD

also yea school was a bitch 💀 tons of freeloaders and horrible teachers but yk what,,, i got my report today and i passed so it's okay HAHSJFKKDD. also i'm graduating soon and that's kinda scary n idk how to cope but yes 😭 i'm just hoping for the best and giving it my all HSHDJKKFF

BUT THAT'S BEEN ABOUT IT FOR ME,,, HOPING 2023 IS GOOD TO US <33

also nah i'm making sure your birthday will be somewhat special <33 gonna hold a tumblr party n give u a lil something I SWEAR 💗

[olderthannetfic]

https://at.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/everyone-is-so-fixated-on-the-monolingual-part-of/n9q7zjnqouvz bro just say you hate white people because that all it seems like you are doing. I don’t understand why there is so much white and American hate on your blog. It’s starting to bother me I think I might unfollow until all the white American hate dies down. Sorry.

--

Should I block you for trolling? I had to think about it for a while.

On the miniscule chance that you are actually earnest about this hand wringing, I'll just say that the level of anti-white and anti-American sentiment around here has not been particularly high from my perspective, neither compared to other parts of tumblr nor compared to what I've seen in my own notes in the past. Were there a couple of bait-y posts? Sure, but people send me plenty of takes I disagree with and plenty of trolling nonsense... like this ask.

If recent discussions are genuinely shocking to you, it might be a sign that you have that trauma response of perceiving all mild criticism and any disagreement as abuse and attacks.

Sure, I think people can go overboard with "All the cishets suck" and "all the white Americans suck" type of faux-empowering statements, but I haven't felt like most of the recent discussions were that one-note.

I know self hate is a thing, but from your repeated comments, I don't get the sense that you think I'm engaging in that. It doesn't seem like you realize that I am a white American. I'm middle class too and more or less cis. I'm exactly the kind of Nice White Lady people make fun of.

But I'm also not an insecure idiot, so I don't take it personally when people find commonplace behaviors my demographic engages in annoying.

Yes, there are times to point out nuance, and I'm not going to just sit there and let someone scream at me, but no one was doing that. The person who's spoken to me the most rudely of late is you. If you take these kinds of discussions way too personally, at some point, you turn into one of those people crying about #notallwhiteladies, and it's just embarrassing.

Look, if you want to see what I'm like when I think someone is badly overreaching, you can look at the crowning jewel of Bean Discourse.

[a-froger-epic]

Interview with a Queen “groupie”

Cross-posted to AO3. I encourage you to leave any comments you have there.

---

I compiled this interview following a long email exchange with J, a very sweet lady who went to Ealing Art School between 1972 and 1974. She knew all four members of Queen personally and was part of their larger circle of friends.

First off, you may find this hard to believe. I don’t blame you. But I assure you I’m not pulling your leg. As well as the pictures I share in this post, I have seen current pictures of J (which I will not share to protect her privacy). There is no indication as far as I am aware that she isn’t who she says she is.

Nastally, hold up. How exactly did you find this lady?

She found me. It turns out that she has been following my story Dawn of Aquarius for quite some time. The story is set in 1969. A lot of research about the era went into it, because I wanted to portray that time period - and Freddie’s and Roger’s surroundings - as accurately and realistically as I possibly could. That was what drew J in. She tells me it brought back a lot of memories for her. One of the reasons I love DoA so much is the nostalgia, she says, which genuinely means the world to me. Eventually, she talked to me in the comment section. Of course, I freaked out!

And then, I asked her for an interview, to which she replied: I will give it a go, but you must remember that I am 65 and there were great drugs in the 70s, and at 16, away from home, I had a lot!

And so...

Here’s what is IMPORTANT TO KEEP IN MIND when you read this interview.

These are one woman’s 50-year-old memories and subjective impressions. J has been incredibly kind to let me pick her brain, trying to recall everything as best as she can. In her own words:

Just remember that when I answer the questions, it is from a 16-year-old who is 9 years younger than Freddie and a little girl with no family and friends in a strange country trying to fit in. The only reason I was there, was because some hippie thought I had a unique art style.

---

J as a teenager.

[I have edited the interview together from our long, and somewhat messy at times, email exchange. Typos have been fixed and some punctuation added for clarity, but I have not changed anything J has written to me. Again, bear in mind these are personal opinions and impressions.]

So, J, how did you end up at Ealing Art School in 1972 and what was it like?

This was the painting done for the Australian school-leaving certificate.

It placed first and gave me a scholarship. I could pick France, the USA or England. As a dual citizen of the UK, the choice was easy. The scholarship paid for board and fees, so had to be and sell whatever for spending money.

This picture is from the dorm. We all had a 10pm curfew and a very thick rule book that, I am proud to say, I broke every one of them, one by one. The rooms were on the 1st and 2nd floor. We were on the first floor, rooms one side and admin staff the other end. We had two bathrooms for 18 girls. One of them had two baths. The walls were your standard half wall, so it was a given that if you had a bath you run the risk of having a bucket of cold water dropped on you. Downstairs was the kitchen and lounge room.

I want to ask you a few things about life in London in the early 70s, to get a picture of what it was really like. For example, was there alcohol at the music gigs you went to?

If it was a school, church or community hall, no. If it was a pub, yes.

Did you and your friends drink as much then as young people tend to drink now when you all went out?

No, we didn't. I think it had a lot to do with money. We didn't have the disposable income, and it was unheard of to still be living at home with the parents after the age of 20.

Was weed and LSD as big and easily accessible as depictions of the 60s and 70s would have us believe?

The drugs! Got to have drugs. Pot (weed) was easy to grow, very cheap. Used to smoke it in bongs rather than joints, more bang for your buck. Trips [LSD] were cheap, I think. About 2 pounds and you were on the high for over 24 hours with no sleep. My drug of choice was hash. Either the oil or the block. It was a nice high, but you could not function well. But if you listen to the music of the time it really does reflect what it was like, to have a group of friends over for a session. Having said all that the most outlandish and shocking drug I ever saw anyone use was the birth control pill. Didn't you have to hide that stuff away?!

Can you tell us some 70s slang that isn’t really in use anymore? What in the world does “ultra-blagging” mean? (As written in a letter penned by Freddie to his friend Celine in 1969.)

Abso-bloody-lootely!

Man, I thought I was the bees knees to be on a scholarship in London. But that didn't stop me from jigging or having a skive day. They were the days that I blagged my way into a pub, had too many lagers and ended up chundering in the gutter. That was how you knew your night was ace. I would get a right bollocking if anyone found out. It would be a bugger when all that you could find at a car boot sale was chavtastic, but sometimes you could be Jammy Dodger and tickety-boo you find something brilliant. Bob's your uncle. Anyways, I need to see a man about a dog.

[It seems to me that J uses a bit of Australian slang here, like chundering, which makes sense because she is, after all, Australian. She also provided the translation:]

Cheers

J

It would be my honour.

I felt very privileged to be given a scholarship that let me study in England. But being so young and having no family to guide me, it was often tempting to not turn up or give a false excuse for being sick. (I had a lot of food poisoning). These would often happen if the night before I had been drinking beer and ended up vomiting outside the pub. But in my young mind that was a good night. If any of the teachers found me drinking I would be in a lot of trouble. Often I would have to say I was holding it for someone else. Not having much clothes with me, I would buy them second hand from church jumble sales or other students and, yes, Kensington market (the market). Some of the stuff would not be very tasteful or in good condition. But sometimes you would find something that was cheap and in good condition. I will stop this text now as I must go to the toilet.

PS: Ultrablagging sounds very Freddie. Blagging was used, but not ultra, meaning to persuade someone to do something or act better than you are. They were always rock stars.

Sincerely

J

[It was at this point that I realised I was talking to an absolute legend. She also told me then that the majority of her old photographs had sadly been lost when her house was flooded in 1988, including most of the photographs from her stay in London. Noooo! :(]

When you went out to dance, did you have only live music? Were there DJs yet?

You know, that is hard. We did not have a DJ. Sometimes there would be a band. Often we looked for places with a band or the jukebox. I think pubs closed at 10pm and some stayed open to 12 or 1, but public transport stopped at 9. So if you had not arranged a lift then you had to make the last bus. Most of the time we would be heading back to someone's place to get stoned and then crash there. In the morning you would have to work out where you were. When I got back to Australia, the discos were all the rage. They could have been in London too but it was not cool to like disco.

How many people would show up to Queen’s gigs when they played in pubs or at, for example, the Imperial College?

Depending on the location and the night: 10 to 1000!

So how did you first meet the Queen boys?

I was at the pub talking about a band we saw last week when Brian stuck his head into our booth telling us he knew a better one. Thinking about seeing them at the stall... Roger not often, Freddie quite a lot. Often on different stalls, I think that is why I can't remember the name. [The name of the stall. Other sources confirm that Freddie also worked at Alan Muir’s stall, for example, selling shoes.]

How well did you know them?

Just looking at your tumblr account. [she has had a look at my blog, where somebody asked if ‘groupie’ meant she had slept with the band] No, I never slept with the boys. I would not say I was a close friend, but I started at Ealing Art College in ‘72 and moved in the same circles. I loved the music and could be called one of the first groupies. I had to sneak into the pubs because I was 16. Roger always teased me for being so young. They all did seem to be one very large family, not just the band. It was a group of about twenty regulars, both male and female. Everyone knew that Fred was too gay to function. We were all at the gay rights march in London in 1972, had to run after the march. Lots of sharpies [Australian slang: youth gang, thugs] wanting to bash us. Back then I was in every protest that was going, student union rights, even the secretary protest. Just part of the times, stick it to Man or Woman. I left London in ‘74 for Australia, been here ever since and lost track of the boys but have never stopped being a fan.

What do you remember about them? How would you describe their personalities?

Don’t let the trolls hate me, but I did not like Brian. I found him to be rather full of himself. Space was a subject you never brought up around Brian or you would die of old age before he stopped talking. He was always the first to speak and start a conversation and then quickly passed you off to John, who was always tired and shy. Roger was also quite shy at times. He was very self-conscious of his looks, as he felt being pretty, nobody would take him seriously. Fred, well, he was not yet the big star, so I think he was working on his stage persona. When talking to groups at parties, he had the best stories of things that had happened to him or close friends. They were very funny and very descriptive. He was the life of the party. When he had a few to drink or was the centre of attention, he would take a cigarette out of the closest person’s hand and start smoking. Now remember this is the point of view of a 16-year-old girl that was a fish out of water, trying to fit in and not having much worldly experience.

It is said that Freddie and Roger were very stylish. How did they dress in everyday life?

Fred would do his hair and makeup to check the mail. Yes, he was always turned out, but so were a lot of people. Freddie did go over the top with hats, scarfs and jewellery. With Roger, it is a surprise he was able to have kids his jeans were that tight. And his shirts were always open unless he was in a jumper. I think it could have been so that you knew he was male, as it was the start of the unisex clothing. When I travelled out of London I realised it was a London thing. When I got back to Australia everyone thought I was a show-off.

There are some disagreements about how tall especially Freddie was. I know this is a difficult thing to try and remember accurately. But do you remember?

Freddie was taller than me but everyone was. Roger was shorter than Fred, but I never saw Roger in platform shoes. I did meet up with the band by chance at Sydney airport in 1984, said ‘hello’ but they did not remember me, or if they did then they did not say anything and I did not want to be a dork. At that time Fred was the same height as me (5ft 8in/1.72m), Roger was taller than me. It made me think at the time that he had a growth spurt! John was shorter than me and Brian has always been tall. [I have a feeling the platform shoes - or lack thereof - played a vital role here! Although 172cm for Freddie seems likely.]

You said everyone knew Freddie was “too gay to function”. Attitudes towards homosexuality have changed so much that it can be hard for us, now, to fathom what exactly people must have thought of him. Was it more of a joke that he was so camp? Was it something he would have been teased for? Also, he had a girlfriend. Did you ever meet Mary or the other girlfriends?

In 1972 a whole group of us - and I am pretty sure that Fred, Roger, Brian and Tim were there - were in a gay pride march. [Since then, J has found and showed me a picture of a boy she thought was Tim Staffel, and it wasn't, so Tim was most definitely not there. Whether Freddie, Roger and Brian really were there or if J is misremembering, who knows?] Us youth believed you could not choose who you fell in love with and if it was same sex, so what? However, if it was two girls then it was every guy’s duty to change her!

It was also a time that the gayer the guy was, the more the girls were interested. Also, if a guy was gay then you did not have to worry about him and he was a good person to take with you if you were going out drinking. However, the police, parents, teachers and anyone of authority were horrified and treated them badly. I did meet Mary a couple of times at pubs and once after a gig. This is just my opinion, but I found her a bitch. It could be that I was so young. It could be that I was very Australian. It could be that she felt threatened as my accent was a magnet to people around. And the boys (Queen) were no exception. Brian had a cousin in OZ and was always asking questions. I remember that my close group of friends thought that Mary made the perfect girlfriend for Fred as they were as fake as each other. Having said that about them, I often wonder if I would think the same now and if my perceptions were just because she would not give me the time of Day. Chrissy and Jo were a lot of fun.

This was before your time, but I read that Freddie's nickname at Ealing Art School was ‘Freddie Baby’. Any ideas how this came about? His showmanship or maybe personality traits?

I don't think so. There were an older crowd that would talk like that. I think the slang ‘baby’ was a 60’s thing, like groovy baby.

How long, roughly, did Roger and Freddie have their stall? I can't find anywhere when it closed down. What did it actually look like? Was it a sort of wooden stall type of thing? Or an actual room? What were some of the other things people sold at Kensington Market? Mostly clothes or all sorts?

The markets were little divided shops. The back was brick and the walls wood. I have been trying all day to remember the name. [Of the stall.] I think it was something hard to say. More often than not it would be Freddie's dad in the store. It was still open when I left. Roger and Freddie were both in the store on Saturdays and some Sundays. There was a girl, I think Jill, who was in the store more. And during the week it could be anyone. You name it and you could get it at the markets. Second hand or designer clothes, shoes, jewellery, pot and assortments. Hair cuts, food, bric-a-brac.

Wait, wait. What? Freddie’s dad? Really now?

Yeah, it was an older Indian man. so we just assumed it was his father. It was my understanding that he started the stall then the boys would work it as the whole markets were set up for younger people, but if needed he would work there. I don't think the boys would be able to pay the rent on their own. [I have since found out that the stall closed in late 1971, and Freddie continued to work at the Market until '74, for Alan Mair and possibly others. So the stall J witnessed wasn't their original stall - explaining all the different people she saw there - but she had no way of knowing that it wasn't.] They always had incense burning that was very big in the 70s. I still occasionally bring out the sticks, but it does not last like the candles and diffusers of today. If you could get in touch with Robert Daniels, he ran ChaChaDumDum it was the stall across from Freddie. He would know the dates.

[J says it’s this look, in a picture she happened across while looking at my tumblr] Yep, that is the one. It usually means that he does not believe or agree with something that was said and is working out how to respond, or he has lost the plot.

You mentioned Roger seemed shy to you at times. Was he also quite charming? We read a lot about what a chick magnet he was. Was this the impression you had?

My favorite subject! I had a thing for Roger. Everyone has a type and mine is the blue-eyed blond. Now, before you ask, was he brunet? No, he was a mouse/dirty blond. If it was summer he would have blond streaks mostly at the ends. He knew he was pretty and was always dressed in the latest fashion and had the current hairstyle. So, being my type I was constantly watching him. Everyone slept around during that time. I did not notice Roger doing it more or less. 80% of the time he was with Jo. Yes, he was a chick magnet, but he did not do the chasing. He was always very polite to everyone. If it ever looked like there would be any conflict he would be the first to leave it. It was not that he was a coward, just not into conflict. If he saw anyone that needed help he was right there, and often had to have Freddie's back. I never saw him in a fight. He could always talk his way out of things. He was also very patient and would listen for hours to other people talk. However, he would get this vacant look in his eyes at times.

And Freddie would either click his fingers, change the subject or just give up. I don’t think that Brian noticed, and it would be fair game for John, he would see how far he could push it. Roger liked to drink a fair bit and when drunk he would be hanging all over Jo. If she was not there then he missed Jo. If, however, he thought that he or his friends were not being respected, then look out! It was a verbal volcano heading your way. That is what happened to me one time. I was trying to talk with my friends close to where a drunken Roger was and I yelled at him to shut the hell up, you wannabe blond. We/I coped a mouthful back, all in the same sentence, that finished with: Sorry, I didn't realise you were on your rags (period)! I have to have the last word, so I told him the truth: I don’t get them yet! (I was a late starter.) He went so red in the face and called me JB [jail bait] from then.

You also mentioned Roger’s cat Ziggy having kittens. I read about this but never when exactly it was. Do you remember?

I think it was winter ‘73. I remember being cold when he was asking around the pub. [To find homes for the kittens, I gather.]

Is it quite strange reading fictional interpretations of real people you knew? When did you first find out there was Queen fanfic?

No, we used to make up stories about people all the time, a verbal fanfic. Was looking up Adam Lambert and came across the fanfics. Some had me in stitches! Others, like DoA, had me hooked.

Please, allow me to be a little self-indulgent at the end. What's one thing I got totally RIGHT in DoA?

All the Ibex stuff.

What's one thing I got totally WRONG in DoA?

Roger did not have a temper, and I don’t know what the go with his father was, but he would talk about him quite a bit and was always visiting his mum. [Absolutely fair, not only did I change the timeline of Roger’s parents divorce in DoA - for lack of information at the time - but also created a completely fictional narrative around it for the sake of storytelling.]

J, thank you so much for all this, sincerely. Can you tell me a little more about yourself? Are you still an artist?

I don't paint or draw any more. At the age of a 50 the doctors operated on an aneurysm or three, and now my eyesight is very bad, I have no fine motor skills and a tremor. I was married in January 1984 and have just celebrated our 37 year anniversary. I have one daughter who is 30 and two great, although tiring grandkids. A girl, 11, and one boy, 5. I have lived my life as the average middle class Australian with great memories. Talking with you has helped me a lot to remember a time when the world was mine for the taking. When I returned to OZ I started nursing, met my best friend, and we planned that once we graduated we would go back to London to study midwifery. But I fell in love instead.

J's wedding in 1984. As you can see, she found her own blue-eyed blond.

---

Upon request, J has shared some of her past and present artwork with me.

These are from her time at Ealing Art School:

These were done later, back in Australia:

J: Did this just before Christmas as you had inspired me. It did not require fine motor skills!

So there you have it! I hope you found this little glimpse through a 16-year-old girl’s eyes as much of a fascinating read as I did. I urge everybody one more time to remember that J did not have to share any of this, and I think we all owe her a big thank you for delving into her memories. She is likely to see the responses on AO3, so I have comment moderation enabled there as I will not let anybody harass this lovely lady. The tumblr she created is @since72, but she isn’t really an active user and also very new to it all. Again, I can only urge everybody to be respectful.

If you have other burning question for J, feel free to leave them in the comments on AO3. I will either pass them on, or she may want to reply to them herself directly.

[arcane-nari]

why are you trying to make nari evil she's the only good one in the arcane order?

(re: this post I’m assuming)

sorry anon you've unlocked my trap card. now i can draw infodumping from my hand and place it face up on the board

tl;dr: Nari isn't evil -- but neither is the arcane order. It's just that nari is the only one of the three who isn't okay with the suffering that would be caused by doing her job of maintaining the balance.

from what i can tell, the order's morality isn't Good or Evil in Tales of Arcadia: Wizards. (I do not see Rise of the Titans. I am not looking.) i've had this blog since wizards first came out, so my interpretation of nari is largely from there, with only some points here and there taken from Nari.

(aside: i feel so vindicated with how she acted in the police station. this bug is feral and i love her)

they're antagonists for sure, and they're rivals, but their morality isn't good. Instead, it's sort of more focussed on the good of the balance between magic and mortals and keeping that in check. there isn't much explanation as to what that means in canon, but I think it's sort of a chaos vs order thing -- too much of one and the world explodes. too much of the other and it's rendered inert.

before the battle of killahead, while each demigod has their own personality, they seem to be of the same mind when it comes to the end goal: protect the balance, no matter how many mortals get hurt along the way. (Mortals, in this case, meaning anyone who is not a primordial wizard.) It's a matter of good of the many (the balance) vs the goods of the few or the one (mortals).

Coupled with their duty to the balance, i have the interpretation that they're simply too disconnected from the world of mortals to understand what pain is -- skrael and bellroc moreso than nari, which i'll get to in a minute. But they're so powerful and ancient that it's easy for them to feel Apart from the mortals, because of how short their lives are and how small their magic is in comparison. Kind of like how most humans view squirrels -- they're creatures living their own lives and having their own drama, but, ultimately, we are far more advanced.

to continue the metaphor -- the world at the time of killahead is something along the lines of a tree that's overgrown the sidewalk and is causing problems, in my mind. Yes, squirrels have made their home in it, but it's causing too much trouble to the humans living in the area, so it has to be cut down. It's not done to cause direct harm to the squirrels. it's just that the action of cutting down the tree will cause direct or indirect harm to the squirrels.

(I've used this metaphor way too often with the order lol)

So they aren't remaking the world because they hate humans specifically. Most definitions of evil is someone who wants explicitly to do other's harm. In my mind, the order doesn't want explicitly to do people harm. They don't care about people. Well -- they don't like them, and perhaps they aren't happy about the amount of people who will die when they remake the world, but it's certainly more than justifiable in their mind considering the ends they're pursuing.

And that takes me to pain. Nari explicitly says she can sense all souls, but it's not clear whether she can sense their pain and suffering. Rather, she seems to be right on board with the order's methods all the way up until she sees Killahead directly. Once she sees the pain -- once it becomes real for her -- she can't dismiss it as a necessary evil that comes with keeping the balance in line. She can't depersonalize it or separate herself from it.

Sure, she's able to occasionally Look into the aether and see souls winking out here and there due to the destruction being caused, but it's different from seeing it up close. And she realizes what they're doing has real and tangible effects and she can't do her duty anymore. It's not that remaking the world is wrong. It's not that the demigods are misguided.

"It's not worth it."

Those are nari's words when she realizes what they've done. The cost is too high. They can't move forward.

I think, were this turned around and the order were to be shown as the protagonists, nari would be written to be a coward. It's all about doing your duty until you face the consequences of your actions, and you can't keep your word. Instead of trying to stop things, she runs. She hides. for nine centuries, she spends her life hidden in a castle away from the world.

We don't see what she does, but I think she learns. I think she asks questions and learns how people work, and how trolls work. I think, once she has the chance to be up close and personal to living people -- even if it's just galahad for the majority of the time -- she falls in love with them. it's hard not to. The way they change and grow and create. The idea of constellations is as much a wonder to her now as it had been the first time she heard about it.

And her desire to protect mortals grow with it. The more she learns, the more her heart becomes entangled with the very world she once wanted to remake. To hell with her orders and her duty -- she's doing what she thinks is right.

By hiding. By doing nothing. We see in Rott that it's probably the only thing for it, considering mind control, but i'm iffy on whether that's something that's canon for me or not. It feels a bit too convenient, considering we've seen such massive power on her end.

She's ancient, but she learns in a few short years what it means to have friends. Her love for humanity is what separates her from the order but, on an objective level, that doesn't make her good, or even Not Evil. Ultimately, it's a human thing to label her as good because her intentions align with protecting us, rather than protecting this vague, enigmatic concept of The Balance that we get so little understanding about. Maybe if we as an audience got more, we would understand why it mattered enough to destroy the entire world to repair it, but we don't, so it's easier to side with the tangible "protect humans at all costs" goal over the intangible "repair the balance at all costs" goal

And the order cares about each other. The way nari teases bellroc and skrael, the way bellroc snaps at skrael -- it feels like a band of siblings. It feels like a family. There's more to them than evil. (And rott did a disservice by trying to make them such. Even at the end, bellroc showed empathy. They could have killed jim when they were certain of their victory, but they told him to go to his family. There's a heart in there, however much it may be of blackened stone.)

(But that's another story entirely.)

There's stories about the fair folk that come to mind, with their strange morals and rules. A lot of stories paint these fairies as evil because their punishments seemed harsher than what humans would expect for certain infractions, while their games often included things that hurt humans. But it's not because they wanted to hurt humans directly. (Okay, a lot of them did, but many of them didn't). It's that what they consider good and bad is so far removed from humanity, because they are not and have never been human. They're simply existing alongside them in the same world.

In conclusion, the order isn't evil. But because their goals don't include the welfare of humans, it's easy to label them as such - and because nari's goals ultimately were protecting humanity, it's easy to label her as good. But the order themselves are too far removed from humanity for me, personally, to label them in terms of explicit morals.

Nari is kind. She is clever, and she's capable of learning, and she's curious. She is herself -- but if we call her good, that's on us, whatever comes of it. She may be capable of change, but she is only ever herself, whatever shape that takes

also veggie lady good character and i love her. grey morality and all.

[stonedregulus]

yes, I too realise I speak on anon, I know. I'm sorry, I didn't word this correctly (I'm recently back to tumblr and I am used to character limit on asks) I meant as in those trolls are visibly aggravating you as well and it's an old and well tried technique to just ignore them. You know what utter bullshit they're saying, why grace that with a reply. I don't want you to feel bullied of the platform or something. You make great and unique content and I think it would be great if you were happy about your time here, that's my two cents of advise of similarly aged and experienced follower. No need to reply, just needed to fix that

While typically I would agree with you that in a normal setting ignoring is the best way to deal with a bully, this site is nothing like a normal setting. Even if I ignored them and never responded I would still get hate. I got suicide baited sitting here minding my own business because someone didn't like that I was trans.

And before you even suggest it, I'm not going to turn my anons off. I have helped multiple people with their gender and sexuality and I'm not about to stop doing that.

I'm also not going to sit around and just completely ignore anons when they've been ruthless to my friends. And like I said, I ignore 50% of my shitty asks because otherwise that's all my blog would be and I don't have time for it.

I understand that you're just trying to help, but you sound incredibly patronizing, and I don't appreciate being spoken to like a child.

[kanmom51]

Hey this is about km interview about waking n seeing jk

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xWNDmvwnt-g

Here you can see , boys especially rm and tae except jhope was clearly booing at most of questions. So it was not specially done coz jm answered that specific question. So it is not a big km moment like most make it to be. Also jm and other boys has said things in past like seeing tae smile eyes are most happy thing now etc etc. So saying seeing jk is most happy thing is just like that. The reaction pattern of other boys was also the same for most of other questions also.

Seriously anon? Are you a troll in my blog perhaps?

Let's start with the fact that the link you shared is not translated fully. This link is better (it's without the this or that part though).

Not true that they were booing at most of the questions. At the start JM tells them to boo at the cameraman, Jin, and they do. Then JK asks him a couple o questions, they don't boo, and then comes the "what enjoyable thing he has done these days?" question, to which JM answers, looking at JK, "it would be waking up and seeing Jungkookie", ending continuing to look at JK with a smirk on his face. JK not daring to raise his head from the page at this point.

This is when everyone is booing JM, saying it sounds made up etc., all except for Hobi who is sitting with an enormous smirk on his face.

JM the cutie doesn't care, he just turns to them and defiantly sends them a kiss saying "it's alright".

The whole tit for tat they have around Your eyes tell prior to the 'big' moment is also cute, btw.

So, why is this a big moment? Is it the members reactions? Not only and even not mainly. Yes, their reaction is also something here, and if you see the whole interview you see that this is the only instance all of them, except for Hobi, react the way they do.

Ok, so why a big moment? Listen to JM. Listen to what he is saying. JM is telling us he wakes up to see JK and that's what makes him happy.

JM isn't saying getting up in the morning, going to work and seeing JK makes him happy. JM isn't saying that getting to see JK during the day makes him happy.

The way it is worded is super important, and we know just how careful JM is and how calculated JM is when he talks. JM said it the way he said this just like he told us he was with JK at 4 am. JM told us that when he wakes up he sees JK and that makes him happy, when he opens his eyes in the morning he sees JK and that makes him happy. We all know what that implies. You need to be totally deaf & blind not to get what this means.

How is that not a big thing anon?

Btw anon, when you bring up things you claim others have said in the past you need to attach links, because I haven't the faintest idea what you are referring to.

[justasparkwritings]

Troll In Love: Part 1

Pairing: Park Jimin x Reader

Genre: Enemies to Lovers / Exes to Lovers, Non-Idol AU

Rating: PG-17

Word Count: 4.6k

Warnings: Swearing

Summary: What happens when your work nemesis and your ultimate troll team up to flip your world upside down? 

Note: This piece is for the #thebtswritersclub fic exchange! Look out for Part 2 later this week. 

This fic is dedicated to, written for the incomparable @xjoonchildx​, who I have been lucky enough to be paired with. A major fan, this was an intimidating endeavor, and I’m kind of in love with what I’ve created for her. And if she hates it .... it’s trash okay? jk... kind of. 

Banner by me. 

Monday: Pitch Meeting

           “Everyone has an inherent archnemesis,” Claire began her presentation, eyes peering across the conference room, attempting to make thoughtful eye contact with her peers.

          Finally, a staff writer, this pitch marked her first foray into feature writing. It wasn’t like she hadn’t tried, in her three years at the company as a freelance writer, it wasn’t that she didn’t draft proposals, complete preliminary research, no, she absolutely did. But there was always someone in front of her, someone who always came around the corner, nicking first place with seconds to spare. Claire hated you from the moment you arrived, bright eyed and excited, a recent college graduate gunning for a position at the magazine. While it took her years to pitch a cover story feature, years to move from an assistant to full-time staff writer, you had done so in a handful of years.

          Today, Claire decided, that would change.  She had prepped and planned for weeks, laid in wait for Marissa to give her the go ahead to pitch her idea to the team. Adjusting her Dior, she shifted from heel to heel before speaking again.

          “We all have that one person who no matter what we post, they find a way to demean it, turn it negative, make it about something completely unrelated. Whether that’s politics, or religion, or sex, there is that one troll we can’t help but root against. My proposal is to use a few members of staff to find their internet trolls, to engage with them over a period of time, and if they’re willing, interview them, both separately and together. I want to discover what it is that makes them keep commenting, why they always seem to gravitate towards certain posts, who their audience is and how it relates to our greater understandings of our enemies.” Claire sighed, the heavy lifting of her presentation just beginning.

           “I like it, who do you want to use?” Marissa asked.

           “Someone from each of our most high-profile teams, or the people in our office that have the largest social media followings. For a few that overlaps,”

           “Who are those people?”

           “Y/N, Jaxson, Hoseok, Emma and Bridgette,” Claire explained. “They have an average Instagram following of ten thousand, and on Twitter it’s twelve thousand.”

           “What do you post that gets you so many followers?” Gillian questioned.

           “My ass,” Jaxson laughed. “But really, it’s Drag Race content,”

           “Good, you have a list. I need written permission from each of you to interview you and your top internet harassers.”

           “I’d like to request that my name be off the list,” You asked, hand still raised.

           Hoseok asked, knowing the answer deep in his bones. “Why?”

           “I just, I don’t think it’d be a –

           “Nonsense, you have a large following, I’m sure there’s someone who pisses you off regularly,” Marissa interrupted.

           “Yes, there is! What’s his name? Jimin?” Claire pretended to scan her page, her cursory glance perfunctory instead of practical.

           You heard the gasp leave Hoseok’s mouth before you registered what was happening.

“Fuck you!” You snapped. “I’m sorry, that was inappropriate, but the sentiment remains.”

           “It was, but it also sealed your fate.” Marissa stood. “Start assembling your team and listen to Claire, I’m sure she has a list of things she needs from you.”

           “I do!” Claire chimed.

           “Great, get me the contracts from legal and get it to each of the people you’ve listed before 5PM today, I want signed consent before you leave this building.”

           “What if I don’t want to?” You asked, your final plea.

           “You owe her for the debacle with your last interview,” Marissa reminded you.

           “It’s not my fault they were drunk both times! I got the article done and out. It was one of our biggest issues in the last year and was followed up by two other feature pieces by me that beat that record,” You countered, your success an unnecessary brag in a room full of people who feared and admired your work.

           “I don’t care, Y/N, handle it,” Marissa sauntered out, her assistants following close behind.

           Slouching in your chair, your eyes landed on Claire, glaring daggers into her perfectly straight midnight bob. She was everything you hated, a brown noser, a narcissist, a career driven monster who had been biting at your heels since you arrived. She was jealous, blinded by some lofty goal that she’d be an editor or editor in chief before 28, a feat rare in fashion, unless you were Elaine Welterwroth or Margaret Zhang, of course. They had become editors and editors in chief by ages 29 and 27 respectively. Though Zhang had begun her career blogging at 16, a fact that only infuriated Claire who was too busy popping pimples and trying to lose her virginity to her junior varsity boyfriend.

          Claire could spend days listing everything she hated about you. She hated your easy interactions with coworkers, the ability to have the entire room stop and listen when you spoke, the craft of your written work and relationships maintained with subjects years after interviewing them. She hated how you left work with Hoseok on your arm or went to drinks with the assistants and interns. How you achieved so many bylines, becoming an editor in your own right without so much as breaking a sweat, while she was scraping the barrel to be noticed. You seemingly had everything Claire wanted, and Claire was sick of it.

Monday: Your Office

           “Thank you, for your participation,” Claire said, sitting across from you in your office.

           “You aren’t welcome, I’m actually rather unimpressed with your ability to ambush not only me but the other people you’ve trapped into doing your article,” You crossed your legs, adjusting the waist band of your trousers and continued to scowl at her. Claire had only heard of your less than cheerful personality, though it remained largely rumored, she had never had it confirmed or dared to see it in person.

           “How, charming,” She rolled her eyes.

           “Look, you don’t want to be talking to me, I don’t want to be talking to you. Just tell me what you want so I can send you on your way.”

           Claire watched as you reached across your desk to grab your black and white planner, flipping open to the weeks page and holding your pen at the ready. The inside, covered in stickers and hand lettered phrases, fit the persona Claire so desperately wanted to mimic.

           “I need you to read and sign this,” Claire slid the agreement across your glass desk. “Then, I need you to identify the username of your troll, and I need to borrow an intern from your team.”  

           “You can’t have one,”

           “Marissa said I could have whatever I needed, and I need an intern to comb through your tweets.”

           “I can save you the trouble, I rarely tweet, when I do, it’s addressing the same ass hat,” You explained.

           “Well, I need their handle,”

           “Fine,”

           “And the intern,” Claire was firm.

           You rolled your eyes, before pressing the intercom. “Hey Alexis, can you send Erin to me?”

           “Sure thing,” Alexis replied.

           “Thank you,”

           Claire rolled her eyes.

           “Jealous?” You questioned.

           “Read the contract, sign it and send it back to me along with answering the Form that’s in your inbox,” Claire directed.

           “Great,”

           “I’ll be back on Friday to go over your tweets and exchanges before we decide on a tactic to reach out to them and ask them to come in for an interview,” Claire explained. It didn’t annoy you that she was prepared, but it did piss you off a little to know how much she had thought this through. Maybe you should give her a chance, professionally, not socially, Claire would remain a bottom feeder.

           “Who says they’re in the city?” You questioned.

           “If not, we’ll Zoom with them, okay?”

           “Excuse me, you wanted to see me?” Erin peered through the door; wavy bangs parted slightly to expose her forehead and freckled cheeks.

           “Yes, your projects are on hold. Claire here needs your help with her feature article, and as my intern, you are to report to her for the remainder of the project,” You explained.

           Erin’s eyes widened, never had she been reassigned to a special project, let alone with Claire who was notorious for running interns and assistants into the ground. “Who will take over my work?”

           “Can you make a list of where you’re at and send it to me? I will meet with the team tomorrow to talk about where we need to fill in the gaps,”

           “Okay,”

           “Claire, this is Erin, if you are a bitch to her, I will ensure you don’t ever write a feature piece or move past copy editor here or anywhere,”

           “I don’t know where you get off thinking you can speak to me like –

           “I am your superior, and you will respect my intern or face the consequences,”

           “Fine,” Claire turned and left, leaving Erin wondering what on earth she had been roped into.

Tuesday: Happy Hour

           “You gave the real handle?” Hoseok asked over drinks after work, a little happy hour to celebrate leaving the office before 7PM.

           “What was I going to do? She could easily look at my Twitter and Instagram and find out, why lie?”

           “What happened to preservation?” Hoseok mocked.

           “Either I give in and get Claire off my back, or I get called to Marissa’s and have consequences, like I’m a fucking child.”

           Hoseok eyed you suspiciously. “Did you give her his name?”

           “You saw in that meeting, she already knows. I blame you,”

           “Me?”

           “Yes you, always talking about dance classes with Jimin, the good old days of photographing him and styling him in college. He abandoned me to go to school with you, and you’ve taken it all in stride.” You explained. It wasn’t a new story, a new plea, a new exploration of your tempestuous non-relationship with Jimin. It was sad, really, listening to you express the hurt you’ve never let go of.

           “He didn’t abandon you to come to school with me,” Hoseok laughed.

           “Potato, Tomato,”

           “You should talk-

           “Nope, you made your once monthly ‘you should talk to Jimin’ comment a week ago over margheritas, you don’t get another for ten more days,” You scolded.

           “Fine, fine.”

           “I don’t even know where he is,” You muttered, pink liquid of your Paloma slipping down your throat.

           “That’s a lie,”

           “Can you stop calling me out and let me hate him?” You hadn’t meant to snap, but the constant chatter revolving around Jimin was too much to handle, it was too much in two days, too much in the years since you last saw him. Park Jimin was, and has remained, too much.  

           “Fine,” Hoseok resigned. “Have you looked at your tweets lately?”

           “No, I refuse to go back and read whatever horrors I wrote in 2019,”

           “You should,” He suggested.

           “I guarantee Claire will force me to read them. Probably aloud at some last-minute staff meeting she puts together on Friday to fucking fillet me,” You rolled your eyes again, the last dregs of grapefruit clumping together as they slid down the side of your glass.

           “Maybe if you weren’t so,” He starts.

           “Bitchy?”

           “Your words, then she would like you,”

           “She’s hated me since I got there, I’ve tried being nice. I’ve tried being cordial. Claire and I will never mix,” You explained.

           “He’s gone blonde you know,” Hoseok’s eyes have flittered past you, glancing down the street at the setting sun, glad he brought his latest Gucci jacket to keep him warm in the early spring evening.

           “Didn’t you hit your moratorium on how long you can talk about Jimin in a conversation?”

           “You said his name!” Hoseok argued.

           “He isn’t Trump, Hoseok. I can say his name, sometimes.”  

           Hoseok let the moment simmer, cooling gently before turning it up to a raucous boil. “I’m having a kick back next Wednesday, will you come?”

           “If he’s not there,” You answered.

           “I can’t promise that,”

           “Then I can’t promise either,” Chewing the ice from your glass, you let your mind wander to the possibilities of what might happen should you show up to Hoseok’s party and are greeted by Jimin. Blonde Jimin. Jimin with the sparkling eyes and winning smile. Jimin who harasses you on the internet weekly, Jimin who you haven’t spoken to since you were 22, Jimin whom you hated with every fiber of your being.

           Worst case scenario, you couldn’t avoid him and would be forced to speak words to him. Best case, you time it perfectly and he’s either just left or hasn’t arrived and you can doll out pleasantries before Irish-goodbying and never having to confront him.

           “Y/N, please, you haven’t seen my new place yet and it’s finally furnished,” Hoseok pleaded.

           “I’ll think about it,” You resigned.

           “Great!”

           “I fucking hate you and our friendship,” You scoffed, signaling the waiter to bring you the check. You should’ve ordered food, being buzzed and talking about Jimin was never a good idea.

           “I know you do.” Hoseok winked before picking up the tab for you both.

           “At least tell me you haven’t invited Seokjin,” You asked, slipping your coat over your shoulders.

           “Well-

           “You’re fucking with me, right?” You questioned. “You fucking invited both of my exes to a, I’m sorry, kick back? Hoseok, no.”

           “I love you, and I’m sorry, Seokjin helped me find some great pieces for the place, and you know he’s friends with Namjoon and Jungkook,” He tried to explain.

           “That doesn’t mean I want to stare at them over my tenth flute of champagne and my plate which will be piled high with cheese and crackers and pieces of salami.”

           “You and Seokjin are fine though, you ended-

           “Don’t say amicably,” You cut him off.

           “Well, close to it. Please,” He begged. Begging never looked good on Hoseok.

           Staring into his dark irises, a shade mimicking your own, you couldn’t hold the anger brewing. Being around Seokjin was always a better alternative than Jimin. Though the pity he often felt towards you, at your angered state which has never really subsided, was embarrassing. “I’ll think about it.”

           “I love you,” Hoseok pulled you into a hug.

           “Yeah, yeah, then why do you keep doing this to me?”

           “Because I love you,”

           “Tell Taehyung to call me,” You said, waving to him before stepping into the waiting Lyft you’d called at the bar.

           “I will, can’t make any promises,” Hoseok winked before turning towards the subway, where he’d pull out his head phones and scan through the photos he’d taken throughout the day, waiting to get home to Taehyung to analyze, edit and critique them.

Thursday: Claire’s Makeshift Office

           “Are you ready?” Claire asked, sifting through the papers on her desk.

           “You had me come to your office, after you scheduled a meeting to ask if I’m ready? Yes Claire, I’m fucking ready,” You snapped.

           “Erin,” Claire gestured towards your intern who tried to hold her eye roll.

           “So, I combed through your tweets, sifting through your interactions with Mochimin, which is a very creative username,” Erin began.

           “Yeah, his name and nickname combined,” You rolled your eyes.

           “And we read through them all, well mostly me… and I have to ask, are you sure these are your tweets?” Erin questioned.

           “Yes, and what should be his responses,” You answered reaching forward to grab the printed copies waiting for you. You scanned over the interactions, the subtweets, the blatant tags, the retweets and comments not just by Jimin, but a few of your friends too.

           “Why have you been telling us he’s the troll?” Erin asked.

           Her question caught you off guard, eyes wide, shock echoing in your bones.

           “What the fuck? What do you mean? Look at how he fucking responded!”

           “Y/N, you’re the troll!” Erin laughed. “It’s you, not him,”

           “I am not! This is a fucking joke! It’s not April Fools yet, way to put the cart before the horse!” Your voice radiated throughout the small conference room.

          Claire, not having an office of her own, had requested it to conduct most of her teams work. It was your least favorite of the conference rooms, colder both in décor and temperature than the others, it was situated on the corner leading to the kitchen. Glass on two walls, it was the definition of exposed. Everyone could see your outburst. Everyone could watch you fall to pieces. You guessed Claire had planned it this way, to demonstrate how focused her team was, how dedicated to the project they were, to show everyone her value as a staff writer instead of a freelancer. You also assumed she did this to ensure that whatever break down you were beginning to have, would have at least ten witnesses, ten people to side with her that your behavior was irresponsible and reckless.

           “Oh please, get over yourself,” Claire chuckled. The light in her eyes proved your assumptions, she was enjoying this. “Do you see how you interact with him?”

          “What do you mean how I interact with him? He started this!” You lowered your volume, side glances from colleagues passing by alerting you to the unprofessional decibels you’d began reaching.

          “In almost every interaction, you bait him, hook line and sinker. It’s you, Y/N,” Erin explained.

           “No!”

           “Yes, this poor man, just living his life while you’re purposefully harassing him!” Claire feigned shock, eyes widening, mouth slightly open. It was taking everything in you not to resort to physical violence.  

           “I would never,” You glowered.

           “You have! For years, it’s always you,” Erin said again.

          “I, no, that’s impossible. He started it!”

          “Admitting is the first step,” Claire’s placid smile was demanding to be smacked off.

          “Fuck you! This is ridiculous!”

          “July 10, 2020: Thinking of one man in particular, hoping the bleach in his locks burns in the summer heat.Followed by his comment: thinking of one woman in particular, hoping she knows I wear a hat and use purple shampoo.” Erin read.

          “I, I, no!”

          “October 13: Nothing makes me happier than not being invited to a birthday bash with all my friends. He responded: All you have to do is ask. On your birthday, he tweeted: Happy B-Day to the girl who … oh never mind she hates me. You responded: nobody asked for your half-hearted bullshit, next time I hope you choke on it.”

          “He started it!”

          “Why are you so awful to him?” Erin wanted to know.

          “I am not, he began harassing me first,” You tried to argue.

          “Does Hoseok know?” Claire chided.

          “Know what?”

          “About your vendetta,”

          “It’s not a vendetta!”

          “Then explain why you tweet or subtweet him at least twice a week, and then when he responds, tweet him again! You don’t even tag him, just vaguely mention discernable parts of his personality or appearance,” Erin explained.

          “I do not! How do you know what he looks like?” You tried to counter.

          “His profile picture, and a certain friend of yours doesn’t mind sharing-

          “You asked Jungkook? Or was it Taehyung? Or I’m sorry, both?” Your eyes were wide, breathing labored, anger boiling to inhumane levels.

          “Well, if we asked Hoseok you would’ve kno-

          “You called or texted or DM’ed Jungkook and Taehyung, and asked about Jimin?”

          “Yes,” Erin bowed her head, guilt written into the freckles her blush tried so desperately to hide.

          “I cannot believe you, Erin,” You spat.

          “I’m sorry Claire wanted me to,”

          You turned your gaze to Claire, who had begun to cower in her seat.

          “You did the one thing, the absolute one thing that you knew, you fucking knew, would set me off. You did this on purpose, you fucking bottom feeder, you fucking dillweed you crossed the fucking line, Claire,” You spat. Your volume had lowered into a low growl, far more deadly and intimidating than any yelling you had done.

          “We have the proof, Y/N, you can’t deny it, you attack Jimin regularly,” Claire unskillfully attempted to move the conversation away from Jungkook and Taehyung. Like you would balk at her intrusion.

          “You don’t get to violate my personal life, to violate the lives of the people I care deeply about, to expose sources and put them in danger should this article go south, poking and prodding into the lives of people who are dealing with their own bullshit to push your own fucking agenda, Claire,” You were seething, Te Fiti in Moana, Mrs. Weasley against Bellatrix, Kim Kardashian against the ocean searching for her diamond. Your wrath knows no bounds, and Claire had finally crossed the line into territory she could never come back from.

          “It’s for the job, nothing personal.” Claire shrugged. You could see it in her eyes, she wanted blood and was elated to be getting it.

          “This is entirely personal.”

          “Well, you can ask Jimin about it when we interview him,” She smiled, lips upturning revealing her veneers, red lipstick perfectly matte and shaped against her thin flesh.

          “No, absolutely not,” You shook your head.  

          “Yes, that’s part of the deal you agreed to,”

          “I take it back. I revoke my consent!”

          “It’s non-negotiable,” Marissa said. She had sauntered in during your berating, watching as you tried and failed to continue believing that you weren’t the troll. “You have agreed to this, and you will sit through the interview and cordially answer Claire’s questions.”

          “Marissa, this is crossing a line,” You stated.

          “You have to be held accountable,” Claire said.

          “Fuck you, Claire. Believe it or not, there are somethings that are beyond your understanding and a few that are not appropriate for work,” You continued to scold her.

          “Y/N, why are you being so hostile?” Claire was mocking you, with Marissa by her side, she was invincible.

          “You picked me on purpose. What have you been working with Hoseok? Is this some larger plan to get me to talk to Jimin? I don’t want to talk with Jimin or talk to Jimin, isn’t it bad enough he’s being brought into my work? Oh and let’s not forget you using Erin and Hoseok to gain access to Jungkook and Taehyung, who are beyond off limits.” You listed each of her offenses, careful to leave out indiscretions that occurred before this project of hers began.  

          “You agreed to-

          “No, I was forced to do this by you, Marissa,” You began.

          It wasn’t hard to glower at Marissa, one of the most decorated editors in chief, beloved by Condé Nast, best friend of Anna Wintour… Everyone aspired to be her, but in the last year, through your promotion and growing turbulence within the magazine, her leadership had begun to falter. Her steady hand, guiding each staff writer and editor towards success and elevating everyone’s work, was crumbling at an alarming pace. Yet, no one knew why or if anything was being done to rectify the damage her wake was leaving.

          “I was coerced into this under some pretense that I owe Claire something for a so called fuck up that resulted in the biggest boon in our magazines readership in the last year, which was followed up by not one but two feature bylines and my promotion. I have done more than enough at this company, in this industry, to sit here and be forced to engage with a man who destroyed my world. I will not speak with him, or to him or listen to him. I will not, and if you force me, I will get legal involved. Should this bullshit continue, you can expect my letter of resignation next week.”

          Standing and shoving your chair in, you turned on the heels of your Oxfords and marched straight to your office. Closing your laptop and shoving your planner into your tote, you grabbed your phone.

          “Where are you going?” Hoseok asked. He moved in time with you, following down the many corridors of your office and towards the elevators.

          As you stepped in, you pressed lobby and waited for the doors to be closed before turning to him.

          “Did you tell Erin she could contact Jungkook and Taehyung?” You asked.

          “She did what?” Hoseok yelled, soundwaves bounding off the metal and plastic of the elevator, reverberating in your ears.

          “Did you?”

          “No, I can’t believe she, are you serious?” Hoseok couldn’t lie, a fundamental flaw in his design made it impossible for him to tell the smallest fib.

          “Did you work with Erin and Claire to get me involved in this feature? To get me to talk to Jimin?” You didn’t mince your words or pad your language to make him feel less attacked. You needed the answer, and you needed it now.

          “No, I didn’t know Claire was doing this until she pitched it. You think I would-

          “Hoseok, they called Jungkook and Taehyung. They want Jimin to come in to be interviewed, they won’t stop until I-

          “Until you what?”

          “Marissa has always supported me, championed me. But Claire has her number, she has her locked and loaded, aiming for me and I don’t know why,” You confided.

          “She has been slipping lately,” He agreed. “There’s only one way to stop this,”

          Together you stepped out of the elevator, moving past the turnstiles to the revolving door.

          “Am I crazy?” You asked, the insecurity beginning to overtake your bravery.

          “No, something weird is going on,”

          You clarified, “No, I mean, am I crazy for… for doing this to Jimin?”

          “I don’t know if you’re crazy, but you’ve definitely not been your best self,” Hoseok answered.

          “He makes me so-

“You still love him,” Hoseok interrupted.

          “I-

          “Go talk to him,” Hoseok encouraged. “Call me after, we can get drinks and wallow or pick out an outfit for your hot date.”

          “What if he-

          “Just, talk to him, okay?” Hoseok requested.

          “Okay,”

          “I’ll check in with Jungkookie and Taehyungie,” He assured.

          “Thank you,”

          “I’ll also scope out open positions, we can’t stay here,”

          “I love you, Hobi,” You confided, a statement that flowed so easily past your lips, you didn’t have to think or parse through the emotions that went along with it. You’ve always loved him, always will.

          “I love you too, Y/N,” Hoseok draped his arm around your shoulders before placing a kiss to your forehead, a gentle embrace, a squeeze of confidence, a gesture of love. He moved swiftly from you back into the building, and as you watched him walk away, you took a deep breath.

          Taking your phone out of your pocket, you dialed a number you had tried to forget.

          “To what do I owe this unexpected delight of a call?” He asked. His voice was the same, chipper and cunning in the same breath.

          “I need to speak with you, ASAP,” You told him.

          “Okay, I’m working from home today, come over whenever,” He invited you without hesitation.

          “You still live at the same place?”

          “No, moved up. I’ll send you the address,”

          “You know who this is?” You asked, uncertainty back in your bones.

          “What, Y/N, you thought I deleted your number?” Jimin laughed, one of only a few sounds that shot right to your knees, making any posture unstable in the docile sounds of his joy.

          “I, I don’t know, I guess. Look I’m going to hail a cab, I’ll be there in 20,”

          “I look forward to it, just tell the doorman you’re here for me and he’ll let you up,” Jimin said.

          “Okay, see you soon, I guess,”

          “I can’t wait,” Jimin was smiling, you couldn’t see it, but the lilt in his voice was all the assurance you needed. Bracing yourself for the impact of him, of his voice, of his laugh, of the way he looked at you, you hailed one of the last remaining cabs in the city and prayed for courage.  

Next: Troll in Luv Pt. 2