#yes i am keeping the card
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egophiliac · 1 year ago
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this is all I can muster right now, too busy having my brain absolutely melted by the September schedule, what is happening
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goldkirk · 11 months ago
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I'm so proud of myself about finances in the past couple months. I still struggle with money but I did enough meditation and journaling and practicing about it to make myself able to actually face my loans and credit cards and savings and bills and start really truly organizing and addressing them for the first time in years instead of just flying by the seat of my pants.
Like. This is a huge deal for me. I've felt like I'm in deadly danger every time I've tried to think about money for years and years. I'm finally able to look it in the face and stare it down and start to organize and plan on purpose instead of just keeping up with the minimum to stay afloat. I'm so proud of myself.
It's still a refrain of "GUILT (funny link)" every time I think about money but I'm able to actually make spreadsheets and face the numbers and monthly tracking again, and even make a new full budget which I haven't been able to do in ages.
still feel guilt, overwhelm, and helplessness, but no longer feel as much deep elemental shame and terror. that's progress baby
#we don't need to talk about how many months and months of therapy visits and doctor appointments I put on credit cards#among other things#but I had to put my foot down about it a couple months ago and shout at myself a little saying HEY#I AM SHAKING YOU BY THE SHOULDERS I AM SHOUTING FOR YOU TO HEAR#OF COURSE IT WAS A TERRIBLE FINANCIAL DECISION BUT YOU WEREN'T EVEN EXPECTING TO BE ALIVE#THE CREDIT CARD DEBT WAS NECESSARY TO KEEP YOU ALIVE AND IT DID AND EVERYTHING ELSE IS WAY LESS IMPORTANT THAN THAT#why the FUCK are you feeling SO ASHAMED for making the best decision you knew how to make at the time???#just because you know NOW that you could have tried some other options doesn't mean you did THEN#you may have known enough to feel shame and guilt yes but you would never in a million years have gotten the help you needed fast enough#by attempting to go another route#you didn't trust anyone besides a very few handfuls of people and even them it wasn't fully#and the stress of running it through parental insurance was so terrifying to you bc you didn't know what that would do#and you never had cosigners for anything your whole adult life. it's OKAY#you fucking DID YOUR BEST#YOU HAVE LEARNED. YOU HAVE MADE CHANGES. YOU HAVE ALREADY DONE BETTER#YOU WILL CONTINUE TO LEARN AND IMPROVE OVER TIME#it is not the end of the world. even the utilities sending you to debt collections etc etc#YOU ARE FIGURING IT OUT ONE PIECE AT A TIME#MORE PEOPLE ARE ASHAMED AND AFRAID OF THEIR OWN FINANCES THAN YOU THINK#if the people who fought and argued with and shamed you for considering student loans much less taking them out#had wanted you to actually be financially safer and healthier#they could have just fucking helped out or cosigned your loans or actively helped you find other solutions#instead of spending months and months telling you it was the worst decision ever and would ruin you financially for decades and such#you made the best decisions you could with the level of terror and knowledge that you had. it was enough to keep you alive.#isn't that enough?#isn't it a victory to survive?? isn't that enough??????#god i'm cringing at sharing this but if it's been this hard for me surely at LEAST one of you has also made financial mistakes or regrets#and seeing me be honest that I fucked it all up too and it's a mess and I'm just climbing back through it as best as I can as I go#will hopefully make at least one of you feel a tiny bit less alone
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13eyond13 · 4 months ago
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actually stunned by how gay The Beatles has been all this time and I just never knew
#like its always just been there in my life but i just never paid attention#my university roomie was obsessed w them and had several beatles posters that i looked at every day#so stuff like the pictures of them from the let it be album are like engrained into my brain#and yet i never knew the lore??#nor did i know until recently that they were actually all high school buds nor did i know they wrote their own music#nor that they genuinely basically invented modern bands n using the studio the way they did etc. so all that was very impressive and cool#but THEN on top of that omg the angsty gayness of john and paul#like all i knew previously basically was that john was a thing w yoko ono and paul had a young wife recently#i had at one point heard of people shipping j&p together and was just kinda like wow i guess people will ship anything#I DIDNT KNOW#that they were actually like that cute and that insane together and that their song writing together was like an actual marriage#anywayz the old pictures and videos of them are just like jesus look how they look at each other i dont think it was just being bros#i am sort of in the camp of they prob didn't act on it for real but there was def some insane tension/chemistry going on#and then ofc once youre aware of this their songs take on so many possible meanings outside of just singing about their gfs and wives....#anyways i just have to vent about this somewhere bc im actually shocked at how this has just passed me by all these years#and it definitely was not on my bingo card for 2024 to fixate on the beatles but here we are lol#more proof to me that my ultimate fave trope or wtv is 'besties to enemies when really they actually probably wanted to be lovers'#gets me every time!!!!#whats been fun about this rabbit hole is how just every single one of my expectations has been reversed as well#i went in assuming i would like them best in this order:#(1) george (2) ringo (3) paul and (4) john#i was sure i would hate john i thought he sounded so pretentious and like such a douche#but no actually he is my fave one and it's literally in reverse order for me i find george my least fave#(i like his music and feel bad for how he got ignored in the band but i like him the least)#and then i literally am john paul ringo george in order of faves now#i just love when i get surprised like that idk it keeps me on my toes and keeps things exciting and fresh#and yes john is indeed pretentious and a douche but i didn't know he was also funny and vulnerable and that i like his voice and songs#the most in the bunch almost every time as well#the beatles#p
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justarandomhelluvablog · 10 months ago
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Okay so obviously the more important thing here was Angel's reaction to it, but
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Husk's face when he realized Valentino was there.....
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shiraishi--kanade · 4 months ago
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Never ask an An Shiraishi fan (tumbrl user shiraishi-kanade specifically) about their opinions on An Shiraishi's alt hairstyles unless you're mentally prepared
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mercurytrinemoon · 9 months ago
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Anyone else loosing their mind asking your tarot deck a bunch of small questions, trying to describe a situation but every time you pull the cards they just contradict each other? I ask a mix of yes/no questions and questions about a specific thing and it just doesn't make sense.
I CANNOT TAKE THIS ANYMORE HELP
HOW LONG TILL I FIND OUT THE TRUE ANSWER
AND WHY ARE THE CARDS CONTRADICTORY
😭😭😩
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love-3-crimes · 5 days ago
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i would say to not expect any art from me for the next 3 weeks bc of finals but i know damn well that im gonna procrastinate at some point and draw something when im not supposed to
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everwisp · 2 years ago
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anyways, tasuhoma rkgk ✨
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ofmermaidstories · 1 year ago
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i am going to a weyes blood, ethel cain and babymetal concert all within the span of a week and i am so excited i am vibrating right now in my seat and cannot literally concentrate on anything.
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ekwolfwriter-blog · 1 year ago
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So I am mostly back with making content and hopefully will have some more time to think creatively. But I do want to bring something up that happened that I would like to do but want to set up some ground rules for myself.
A while ago, I posted a fic on Ao3 that was nsfw and so far, it seems like it is getting good result. However, I won't name anyone but I comment that I have not reviewed or address because I wanted to think on it a bit. It was a comment about if I do Avatar stories request. And while I want to believe that this person was asking in good faith, I have not replied to it yet because I feared that it could have been a set up as a "Gotcha moment" if I said no to the request or it would have been taken out of context if it did not pan out.
So I wanted to address that while I do on Avatar stories and fics, I am very particular of who and what I am writing toward. Same for other fandoms as well - although it is mostly one particular couple right now. If someone wants to ask if I can do short stories - like maybe a few lines long here on Tumblr - or provide ideas for short stories to post on Ao3, I am more than happy to take a request.
And more importantly, I request that these get done on my Tumblr for now. I have put most of my works on comment review for Ao3 given what has been going with AI scarping.
So ask away.
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gilliebee · 11 months ago
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how dare they disrespect unh by omitting elite collegiate athletes jack and andy!!!!! 😤😤😤
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thestrangestwatermelonofall · 10 months ago
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So I was literally just telling my friends about how excited I was for this newsletter that I assumed was going to drop tomorrow morning, and when I got home an hour later and refreshed my email I saw the newsletter and I got to hyped. OMG. the world is wonderful
#personal#utdr newsletter#I have so much to say about it.... i am sorry to my followers who do not care... I am so sorry#this is when I emerge and go crazy about everything. Like the royal guards comic#and the fact that gigi ships soriel and was the one that created the toriel slippers and now they are real. wear them on your feet. now#and the papyrus valentine letter gif with the dog.#Fangamer if you're reading this please send toby fox and gigi and chess and temmie free slippers#also the way toby said “I'm including chess in this one now. Chess come here” implying that they are all just in the same room was so funny#and somehow also heartwarming? like they're all just togetheri n person???/ I need more friends omg#yes I will be a bit unhinged about minor details. The year of the bunny and the year of the dragon....#I got so excited about it all that I didn't even finish reading it just yet. I got to ice skate and had to come here to scream into the voi#Thank you gigi. your game looks very cool! I'm going to listen to the soundtrack soon as well. It is super duper cool amazing actually that#they said they wanted to learn to make music in the interview and then right after it is the soundtrack that they made. Amazing#inspiring. showstopping. Also the thing that they yelled “YEAAAH” about. what are our theories. my instant guess was a ship related thing#like maybe noelle and susie confirmed? but idk#and gigi's concept art for chapter 3???? tv time#okay that's it for now and I will add more late when keep reading and going insane teehee. I still haven't even read all of the valentine'#cards yet.
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answrs · 1 year ago
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asdfhjkl looks like the Big Horse and the Royal White got busy in the castle stables sometime between the two games. :'D
side note, interesting to me that totk explicitly refers to this specifically as a stallion versus just the general label of 'horse'. i don't remember botw specifying either way for the special horses, and the models obviously aren't differentiated by any anatomical differences (size/color aside)
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crimmson · 1 year ago
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between my computer deciding to rebel, and work, and life, and I feel like I have a perpetual minor cold with that kinda slightly stuffy feel and that taste in the back of my throat,
I am kindly requesting someone to just Old Yeller me at this point
#the computer one is pissibg me off particularly because i Just built this shit two years ago#then i do a driver update a couple of weeks ago and start noticing that now if i game and watch a stream at the same time#some windows process starts choking the fucking life out of my CPU after a couple of hours#and after following a chain of looking shit up i get to ghe event viewer#and there's just a nonstop parade of errors for typically one or two things#at this point i drag my dad in because im out of my depth#i do some more shit. i update and reflash the bios. i check drivers 500 times. i reformat the drive and reinstall windows from scratch.#even if it seems okay for a bit it eventually starts shitting out errors again.#they are either about DeviceGuard or complaining about the network#i look up some more things! i find some references but they tell me to turn off or on some things that are already enabled or disabled.#we begin thinking theres something wrong with the network part of the motherboard#i have an adapter we grabbed from work to try when i get home.#if that doesnt work then i am buying a new motherboard cpu memory and cpu cooler#because if im going to have to fucking replace shit then i might as well upgrade#part of me wants to keep the old stuff and set up a new computer and try troubleshooting because puzzle. and i hate not knowing WHAT PART#SPECIFICALLY is fucked#bro i am so TIRED#i JUST did the math a few weeks ago and was like YES if i live on ramen for a few pay cycles i will pay off my credit card and start saving#to put toward my student loans when those start up again. and my computer went 'lol thats cute'#like i am deathly afraid that i will replace all this shit and it'll STILL have this issue#like. it's useable. i could live with it. but it's clearly not normal behavior and that's what bothers me. something is clearly wrong.#not to sound old but remember when shit just fuckin worked#like i sat there for 5 hours yesterday trying different shit. finally thought i had fixed something. go to bed. wake up.#STREAM OF ERRORS for the network thing again every few minutes while i was asleep.#what are you DOING. what is WRONG WITH YOU.#my dad is looking over my shoulder at the event viewer like 'that looks like a SQL statement but why is it failing etc etc'#EXCELLENT QUESTION AND I ONLY UNDERSTOOD THREE OF THOSE WORDS! why is my computer sick!!#no it's not a virus. i promise. i was raised better than that#it FEELS like something fundamentally broke. it feels like a hardware thing. but how. what fucking demons did microsoft summon#in a driver update. that went into my computer and physically broke my shit
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silhouettecrow · 1 year ago
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365 Days of Writing Prompts: Day 331
Adjective: Old-Fashioned
Noun: Posy
Definitions for those who need/want them:
Old-Fashioned: in or according to styles or types no longer current or common, or not modern; (of a person or their views) favoring traditional and usually restrictive styles, ideas, or customs
Posy: a small bunch of flowers; (archaic) a short motto or line of verse inscribed inside a ring
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shower-phantom-ideas · 1 year ago
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If I never post here again after the 27th just know I died this is middle of the woods back waters air bnb
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