#yes he is wearing wizard crocs
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tableofshrooms · 9 months ago
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Ponder is really going through it in The Last Continent
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archerdork · 3 years ago
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oh I just realised
ofmd’s disregard for logic and realistic narrative in favour of a basically purely character driven story is a similar eccentric writer decision that makes howl’s moving castle my favourite book
especially having watched miyazaki’s movie with it’s purely fantasy reality and smooth talking hero howl before reading dwj’s book howl who is literally a nerdy jock from wales who figured out how to make a portal to a parallel magic world where he becomes a wizard, and the book just breeze right past sophie trying to figure out what a ballpoint pen, video games and fucking JEANS are before popping back into our regularly scheduled fantasy novel like no big deal
and I’m just here like yes kings we stan a eccentric narrative. fuck it, this fantasy novel has a field trip to real life wales in the 80s and this pirate show have 18th century pirates that wear crocs and talk about gentrification and leaving bad reviews on restaurants
i love it, more of this, write batshit crazy stories sometimes, fuck genres, fuck logic, more crackfic to the people
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thatmexisaurusrex · 3 years ago
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Headcanons I Have About Sam and Bucky
Hey people!
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I thought I'd talk about some headcanons I have for Sam and Bucky that I always keep in mind when I write them, so here they are!
SAM HEADCANONS:
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1. If Sam ever gained the ability of avian telepathy, he would own that shit. He would be so obnoxious about how hyped he was about the fact that he could talk to birds that everyone would both hate him and somehow envy him for the ability (also, it is a continual travesty that they took away his avian telepathy in the MCU and I'll never not be bummed about that).
2. Sam is actually an anxious person who doesn't like giving huge speeches or going on camera. He can talk to people one on one well, he can empathize with people, yes, but he tenses up at the idea of having so many eyes on him and isn't a fan of interviews.
3. Sam is bad at fishing. He just can't. His parents were ecstatic when they learned that he wanted to become a pilot. There's a reason why Sarah didn't want him messing with the boat's engine and why so much got done with Bucky around to help with the boat.
4. Sam is a private person. He only talks about his past if he needs to. He only talks about his family when he's close enough to a person. He just likes having privacy and while he does like boasting about himself sometimes, talking himself up, he doesn't like talking about himself.
5. Sam's always been an early riser. He woke up early to help his parents on the boat, he wakes up early now to jog/train.
BUCKY HEADCANONS:
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1. Bucky is Jewish. This is mostly because Marvel took the entire backstory of Arnie Roth, one of the first openly gay Marvel characters, and gave it to MCU Bucky and Roth is a very Jewish last name. Also, I'm Jewish and I like the representation.
3. Bucky has terrible taste in fashion. I'm sorry, I just love the idea of Bucky just wearing the dumbest things because the future has stupid t-shirts he can wear or just trash taste that's fun. He'd totally wear crocs and rock dad shirts and wear the tackiest shit or even the most incomprehensible fashion as he experiments with what he likes.
2. Bucky is an artist. He and Steve were in an art class when they first learned that the United States was entering World War II.
3. Bucky is a huge nerd and has always been a huge nerd. There's a reason why he read the children's book the Hobbit when it first came out despite having to ship it all the way from England.
4. Bucky had always dreamed of the future and distant lands, probably because he never felt like he belonged in his own time period. He took Steve to the Stark Expo, which was essentially a play on Tomorrowland and the World's Fair.
5. Bucky helped take care of his family during the Depression. He did what he could to pick up any slack at home, helped raise his sister, started work as soon as he was able to add to rent money.
COMMON SAM AND BUCKY HEADCANONS:
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1. They're both actually introverts. Both Sam and Bucky are good at playing the extrovert, they're people who revert into "being the host" mode, make people comfortable when they can, but it's also draining for them to hang out with people for too long.
2. They both have an overachiever mentality. They have to do better than everyone else expects them to, have to not only exceed expectations, but blow them out of the water, and that can be a huge double-edged sword in terms of their own mental and physical health, especially if they forget to take care of themselves.
3. Vampires are a step too far. They will take the existence of wizards, robots, and aliens, but vampires, werewolves, and anything of that level of supernatural are just too much.
4. They both look fantastic with their nails done. I just love the idea of them having painted nails, I don't know why.
5. They'd both be amazing dads. They'd be loving, caring dads who'd do well for their kids.
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bluemoon-writer · 4 years ago
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LwS - Chapter 7
Word Count: 1.6k
Summary: Harry decides to sit with the Slytherins for lunch and slowly they become friends. Drabble series Part Crack fic, part serious.
Chapter 7 - Author's Notes
Read on: FF --- Ao3 --- Wattpad
Or hit 'keep reading' to read on Tumblr.
Harry plodded into the Great Hall shoeless, soaking wet, and smelling strongly of rubbing alcohol. He sat down at the Slytherin table with a heavy sigh. Blaise and Theo, who he sat between, scooted away so they wouldn't be dripped on. When no one asked about his disheveled appearance, Harry sighed again, even more dramatically this time.
Draco rolled his eyes and indulged the Gryffindor, "Alright, Harry, why are you all wet?"
"And where are your shoes?" Blaise asked, curling his lip.
"And could you really have not sprayed some cologne before approaching us?" Pansy asked pinching her nose.
Harry gaped at them in shock, "Were you not in Potions class with me? How can you act like you don't know?"
The Slytherins shrugged at each other, in their eyes it was a normal potions class.
"I'm afraid our focus on our work obstructed our observation skills, please enlighten us to what occurred," Theo said dramatically.
"Yes, and we beg your forgiveness," Daphne added sarcastically.
Harry nodded cordially. "Your apology is noted."
Then, with a theatrical air, he began his story. "It all started when I was late to Potions this morning. I was paired with Draco as punishment, but we're friends now…" Harry looked away dramatically, "Little did I know, Draco would betray me!" Pansy and Theo gasped in fake surprise. Harry nodded thankfully to them for playing along.
"Draco," Harry pointed at the blond boy accusingly, "ruined our potion!"
"I DID NOT!" Draco exclaimed at the same time that Pansy gasped a, "No!", Theo shook his head in despair, and Blaise tsked. Even Daphne played along and gave Draco a critical look.
"He did!" Harry cried. "Our potion exploded! And I took the blame for Draco's grave error, it pains me greatly that my dear friend cannot even admit to his missteps." Harry wiped away a fake tear while Draco rolled his eyes.
Theo patted Harry on the back while Pansy reached across the table and grasped his hands, murmuring, "We're here for you Harry, be strong."
Blaise crossed his arms and shook his head at Draco, "I'm so disappointed in you, Malfoy."
Draco was turning red as he stuttered about his innocence. Daphne appeared to be holding back a laugh.
"Do you know what happened next?" Harry whispered in mock horror.
Pansy clasped her hands over her ears, "I don't know if I can listen to this!" Daphne finally gave in and played along by prying Pansy's hands off her ears.
"Keep it together Pansy! You have to be strong, and witness Harry's testimony," she declared dramatically.
Harry nodded at her, "Thank you Daphne, I am gratified by all of your support." His voice dropped back to a whisper as he continued his tale, "The potion…It spilled everywhere. and guess who had to clean it up? That's right, me! It was harrowing, the smell made me gag and the potion was so acidic that it melted my shoes! Then, it got worse. Since it was a dangerous liquid, Snape sprayed me down with some sort of counteractive water, soaking me to the bone."
Harry shook his head sadly, "I was so, so cold." The Slytherins commiserated and scolded Draco for causing Harry such pain. Draco sighed; it was clear Harry wouldn't stop until the blond played along.
Draco placed his hand over his heart, "Harry, my dear, kind, friend. It tears at my heart to hear of your struggles. I curse the name of Severus Snape for giving you such a trial. You have my deepest apologies, if I could, I would take your place in a heartbeat."
Harry grinned at Draco cheerfully, "Oh lovely, because Snape counteracted the dangerous properties of the potion, so someone still needs to clean it up. I'm so glad to hear you'll do it!"
Draco gaped at Harry, "Y-you, you trickster!"
The others burst into laughter. Theo cried, "Ah, I knew Harry was up to something!"
"Up to something?" Harry said in dismay, "I am only interested in justice!"
"Spoken like a true Gryffindor," Daphne said.
"Yet, enacted like a Slytherin," Blaise mused.
Harry opted to ignore the two in order to focus on Pansy pointing her wand at him.
Harry put his hands up, "Woah, Pansy, I'm innocent, I swear."
Pansy rolled her eyes, "Do you want to be dry or not?"
Harry paused to think, "Well, everything is more dramatic when you're wet…"
"Is that why you entered the hall soaking wet?" Theo asked.
"No, he did that so he could trick me!" Draco fumed.
Harry ignored Draco and turned to Theo. "I did it for the aesthetic. If I wasn't soaked then you all wouldn't have been nearly as interested in my story."
"I'll do you for the aesthetic," Draco muttered.
"Well, that came out of no where!" Blaise exclaimed at the same time that Harry sputtered, "Excuse me? You'll do what?"
Draco turned red, "I-I didn't mean it like that!"
"That explains why he's been obsessed with Harry for so long," Daphne said.
"I'm sorry Draco, but I'm afraid there's someone else I'm interested in," Harry said apologetically.
Pansy patted Draco's back, "No wonder he messed up the potion."
Harry gasped, having an epiphany, "I WAS NOT BETRAYED! Draco was simply distracted by my presence, my windswept hair, my luminous eyes, and my handsome face! "
Theo's eyes widened, "Of course! It all makes sense, that is what caused the accident!"
Harry placed his hand over his heart, "Draco, I'm so deeply sorry for the pain I must have caused you by accusing you of something as cruel as a betrayal to your love."
Draco was completely red. The blond took a deep breath, stood gracefully, and walked away. Harry was impressed that he didn't run or move quickly at all. Everyone deflated slightly as their fun was abruptly ended.
"Well, now that Draco's gone I suppose there's no point to me being wet anymore. Pansy, is that offer of a drying spell still open?" Harry asked, reverting back to acting like normal.
"As long as I can spray you with some cologne."
"Will it get me wet again?"
"What? No, it's just cologne."
"Oh…then in that case, I accept."
A much dryer Harry was ready to dig into his meal when he was interrupted by Pansy once again.
"We must do something about your shoes."
Harry looked down at his feet; he had forgotten he was barefoot.
"Never fear Pansy! I have spares in my bag."
Harry pulled out the comfortable muggle shoes he had stored in his bag. Daphne and Blaise both made faces of disgust, Theo looked vaguely interested, and Pansy was covering her face in horror.
"Crocs? Who hurt you so much?" Pansy said in disgust.
"Were you not listening? Draco did!" Harry exclaimed.
"Didn't we determine that it wasn't a betrayal?" Blaise asked.
"That does not erase the pain of thinking you have been betrayed!" Harry declared passionately.
"Then you must work on forgiving Draco, he was simply overwhelmed by his love," Blaise argued.
"Blaise Zabini! Cease your lies and slander!" Draco said, reappearing at the table and slamming his hands down. Everyone blinked in surprise at his sudden reappearance.
"Draco? How did sneak up on us like that?" Theo asked in confusion.
Draco sniffed haughtily, "A true Slytherin has mastered the art of subterfuge and…sneakiness."
Daphne raised a delicate eyebrow, "The art of sneakiness?"
"Never mind that!" Draco pointed a finger at Harry, "I'm here to clear the air."
Draco paused dramatically before declaring, in a slightly hysterical voice, "I did betray you! I was acting on feelings of dislike, not of love!"
Harry gasped, but quickly composed himself. He cocked his head to the side and a simple question.
"Well, why not?"
"Excuse me?"
"Why don't you have a crush on me? I'm a totally catch."
"Yeah, Draco, Harry's the savior of the wizarding world, " Theo added.
"How can you not have a crush on him?" Pansy asked.
"W-well, I could say the same for all of you!" Draco stuttered
"We're his friends, it would be overbearing for us to have feelings for Harry and vice-versa," Daphne explained in a dull voice.
"Harry and I are friends too."
"No, we're not. You admitted to the betrayal, so obviously we aren't friends," Harry said crossing his arms over his chest
"Well, then let's become friends."
Harry struggled to hide his grin before saying, "Friendship requires trust, and I can't trust someone who has betrayed me."
"Well…he could do something to prove his trustworthiness…" Blaise said slowly.
"I suppose, but what?"
"That's easy, Draco can trade shoes with Harry!" Pansy chirped. Harry perked up, a grin slowly forming.
"Yeah! Draco, give me your shoes!"
Draco scoffed, "You want to me to trade shoes in order to prove how trustworthy I am? How childish, but fine, I'll do it."
Pansy clapped excitedly. Daphne smirked and leaned towards Harry, "Show him your shoes first, before trading."
Harry lifted the firetruck red shoes up and had a front row seat to see Draco's soul leaving his body.
"M-muggle! Muggle shoes? You want me to wear that? I refuse!"
Harry wiped away a nonexistent tear, "Would you really throw away the opportunity of our friendship so quickly?"
Draco scowled, "How can this possibly prove my trustworthiness?"
Blaise leaned in to explain, "Harry is practically a muggleborn since he grew up in the muggle world, by wearing these shoes you're showing acceptance for the muggle world and therefore, acceptance of Harry."
Draco sighed before sitting down and pulling off his shoes, "Do they really need to be such a garish shade of red though?"
"Are you saying that you don't accept Harry's Gryffindor heritage?" Theo asked in a scolding manner.
Draco shook his head and muttered, "I shouldn't have come back."
Harry laughed out loud, and smugly put Draco's shoes on, surprised, that they fit. He decided not to tease Draco too much because the glint in the other boy's eyes promised revenge.
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modernwizard · 4 years ago
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“Come one -- come all -- to the greatest show on Earth. Just FYI -- Barnum can't say I stole it from him because I was the one who gave him the idea for that tag line. Anyway, this isn't even the best show on the planet. It's the best show in the universe! Of all time! Ever! And you know why? Because it's MINE -- that's why!
“What's that? You're asking what the show's like? Well, I can't really put it into words. It's something that has to be experienced, rather than described. I'll just say that it's full of transformations, plot twists, and dizzying shifts in perspective. You might find yourself rethinking everything you thought you knew. Brace yourself. It'll probably hurt. But it'll be -- you know -- a GOOD pain.
“Fun? A good time? Hah! I never guarantee THAT. No, not at all. You see -- I'm much more about surprises -- shocks -- stupefaction. Ambushes of enlightenment, if you will. Come for the things you never expected! Stay for the events you wish you could escape! Learn what you never wanted to know! It'll change you forever -- I guarantee it.
“Oh, now why the hesitation? Have I scared you? Well, good. Maybe you should be scared. It adds a little something to the adventure, don't you think? A FIZZ of anticipation, a FRISSON of worry. I TOLD you it would be a good pain...
“Well, what are you waiting for? Step inside. From this moment forward, you're in MY realm, for I am the ringmaster -- indeed, the Master -- and this is my domain. And you are MY audience.”
--
Anyway, I was dressing up my digital Spymaster for another story I want to do about a silly hats party, and he decided to go into the weirdo Goth genderfucking ringmaster direction with this outfit. I spent way too much time and way too much fun putting this outfit together, so now you have to suffer it too. :p
A few notes regarding the digital Spymaster:
1. He has fattened up from the last time I rendered him. But he’s still wearing an underbust corset. But he looks so much better with more fats! <3 <3
2. Yes, his hat does say FREAK on the band.
3. His favorite colors are purple and blue, and he likes celestial themes. This also ties in with my theory that all Masters secretly believe that they’re wizards/magicians at heart.
4. To go with the “put together up top and much less organizing on the bottom” idea of his style, he has a very elaborate hat, very fitted jacket and shirt...and then...just...leggings. They’re comfy, okay? He hauled out his blue suede shoes from the ‘70s because they had stars on them. [Nychthemeron said NO to the purple Crocs.]
5. Some people just wear makeup. The Master formulates CONCEPTS about it first. Every single one of his features is his best feature, so he just decides to highlight different ones on different days. Today it’s HIS MAGNIFICENT NOSE. You hear about eye makeup and lipstick and blusher, but never nose makeup. Why not? WHY NOT INDEED? asks the Master. Especially not when he has a nose like that, worthy of everyone’s admiration! BEHOLD! The Master’s nose!
@natalunasans @spoonietimelordy @bloodofthepen @sclfmastery @meloartist @queen-of-meows
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gomisart · 5 years ago
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Lately, most of my sketchbook doodles have been about trying to learn how to draw these guys called trox, because my new Starfinder campaign character is going to be one! So the first three sketches are just Generic trox, and the last two ones are of my new dude. Trox are super buff humanoid beetles with weirdly mammalian bodies and dinosaur tails! :0 And apparently they can wear clothes, though it seems they culturally don’t have to, which is understandable with their anatomy. Then there’s some sketches of the Specific trox boy, my new Starfinder character, Dunas! He's a technomancer ("tech wizard") and a kind boy. Also, without lips or pupils, it's SO HARD to try to draw emotive trox!! So his expressions are pretty cartoony! I’m still not a 100% sure what his personality is going to be like... We’ll see!! But yes, he does wear crocs in space.
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dontbesoevil · 3 years ago
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I posted 12 195 times in 2021
66 posts created (1%)
12129 posts reblogged (99%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 183.8 posts.
I added 18 294 tags in 2021
#magiqueuement - 10167 posts
#mdzs/cql - 2600 posts
#word of honor - 2577 posts
#art - 1013 posts
#i told sunset about you - 388 posts
#shl spoilers - 380 posts
#kieta hatsukoi - 334 posts
#the long ballad - 293 posts
#yes - 272 posts
#text posts - 270 posts
Longest Tag: 139 characters
#because he is here in the home that he thought he would never go back to and there is this man who i cannot remember whether it is the scen
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
Will "I am still on the rooftop" be the equivalent of "I am not leaving the mountain"? Discuss
48 notes • Posted 2021-11-29 23:01:08 GMT
#4
I see that we are missing some quizzes with a distinctively French twist so please enjoy this uquiz I made where I tell you an anecdote about an adventure I’ve had if you choose between these French things.
52 notes • Posted 2021-04-21 18:17:20 GMT
#3
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This is going to be the first of at least two posts with some great ideas of summer footwear from our favourite characters with suggestions from the discord. Blame @needtherapy (and @wangxianbunnydoodles and the rest of the discord).
Both Lan brothers are wearing crocs, Wei Wuxian is wearing chacos, and Mianmian is wearing birkenstocks.
52 notes • Posted 2021-07-13 22:20:33 GMT
#2
It looks like it’s going to be a film!!
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“ Published April 8, 2022
Eiji Akaso Movie starring Keita Machida W "Cheri Maho THE MOVIE ~ It seems that you can become a witch if you are a virgin until you are 30 years old ~"” (google translate)
118 notes • Posted 2021-11-28 18:05:29 GMT
#1
rules: name 7 comfort films and tag 7 people
tagged by(merciiii :))
in no particular order:
mary poppins
azur & asmar
howl’s moving castle
the wizard of oz
a princess for christmas
the king’s speech
the princess diaries
148 notes • Posted 2021-03-15 17:58:14 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
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wearethewitches · 7 years ago
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@accio-shitpost
Harry is in a state of bewildered awe. The Wizarding World – his true home. Everything around him is fantastical and magic. The boy from Madam Malkin’s was even pretty cool, despite his arrogance – he clearly knew what he was talking about, with that house and Quidditch stuff. All Harry wants to do is go through his stuff, wave his magic wand and-
“‘arry!” Hagrid thumps him on the shoulder, pressing a rectangular cage covered by a cloth into his arm, “Look ‘ere what I got ya! Now, you’ll want to take special care ‘o her, but she should be plenty friendly, so long as you treat her right – an’ I even got you one o’ those translator tooths! All ye got to do is-”
“Hagrid, what is it?” Harry shuffles his paper parcels and the cage, which shuffles in his arms dangerously on its own. “It’s moving!”
“Course she’s moving! She’s alive, ain’t she? Not going to stick like stone all the time,” Hagrid shakes his head before reaching over, pulling up the cloth, revealing what looked like a baby crocodile – but it’s so very different to what Harry’s seen before on television. Instead of dark brown, her rough skin is a shiny blue-silver that reminds Harry of the sun shining on water and her reptilian eyes look at him with startling clarity, visibly shrinking and widening as the crocodile seems to peer at him.
Harry’s eyes are wide as he swallows nervously, staring at her. “Hagrid, are you sure I’m allowed a crocodile at Hogwarts?”
“Pfft, you get kids coming to Hogwarts with rats an’ tarantulas an’ eagles instead o’ owls. I’ve not seen a croc since, oh…must o’ been a couple of decades,” Hagrid shakes his head, letting the cloth go, causing the crocodile to disappear from view. “Patil, I think ‘is name were. His twins are coming this year an’ all. Ye might even be in the same house! Ravenclaw, I think he were. Maybe not, then.”
However, Harry had picked up on another part of his words. “Decades, Hagrid? How old are you?” Hagrid’s beard twitches, the only thing to reveal the movement of his lips.
“Old enough that I’ve seen the world, or as much of it that I can, at least. The muggles have changed a lot, I’ll tell you that.”
“But when were you born?” Harry questions, eyes bright because just by spending such a short amount of time with Hagrid, he has figured out that Hagrid loves questions – not like the Dursley’s, who hate him asking anything. “Did you take part in world war two?”
“No. Only a kid, back then. Born nineteen thirty, I was.”
Harry’s eyes somehow widen even more. “Nineteen thirty? But that means you’re sixty-one.”
“An�� looking fine, if I do say so myself – ah an’ look who that is? Some coincidence,” Hagrid starts to lead Harry off to the left, diverting from their slow path to the Leaky Cauldron. Harry sees a set of wizards with skin the same tan colour as his own, though the one not braiding a young girl’s hair with his wand is a little paler. The wizards wear matching blue robes with two capes – one long one and one short one with dark buttons, the robes reminding Harry more of coats than anything. Certainly, their sleeves are far tighter than the loose, baggy robes the general populace seems to wear with their shiny bronze belts.
A girl beside them turns and Harry is briefly awed by how she matches the girl getting her braid done. They have the same coloured skin as the darker of the two wizards and their robes too are the same royal blue, but cut off just below the knees to show off identical black leather boots, tied all the way up past the ends of their robes.
“Patil!” Hagrid crows, the braider looking up briefly at his call. “We were just talking ‘bout you, weren’t we ‘arry?” Hagrid thumps Harry’s shoulder and morbidly, Harry wonders if his knees are okay after all the pressure being put on them every time Hagrid does that.
“Good day, Keeper Hagrid,” Patil says shortly, before finishing the braid with a quick wrist-flick, a tie appearing from nowhere to bind the end of it. “Padma, Parvati, meet the Keeper of the Keys of Hogwarts and its Groundskeeper, Rubeus Hagrid.”
In sync, the girls lift the sides of their robes, curtseying briefly. “Keeper Hagrid.”
Hagrid blinks at them for a moment before cracking a grin. “Just Hagrid, little ‘uns. Harry Potter,” Hagrid looks down at him and Harry frowns slightly at how he pronounces his name completely right, with no missing consonants. “Meet Mr Div Patil, his partner Girish Patil-Lagheri and their daughters, Padma and Parvati.”
“Uh,” Harry swallows, becoming all too aware of his many packages, before he nods his head politely, trying to copy what the twins had done earlier. “Mr Patil, Mr Patil-Lagheri, Padma, Parvati.”
“Girish and Div are acceptable stylings,” Girish says.
Harry swallows again. “O-Okay, Mr Girish.”
“Oh my,” the man says, voice light as he puts a hand to his ear lightly, a smile tugging at his face. Even with the amusement leaking from him, Harry tenses, feeling the familiar urge to bolt. I messed up, I messed up. “Miss Padma, am I hearing formality from the young man in front of me?”
Padma – Harry assumes she’s Padma – smiles widely, eyes narrowing in amusement as her lips open to reveal white teeth. “Pita does not like formality, Potter. He asked you to call him his name.”
“Oh, uh…okay, Girish, uh…” Harry stalls slightly. I have to be given permission to call them their first names, but, oh no… “Miss Padma.”
Parvati giggles and even Hagrid lets out a chuckle. “Do you not know anything?” she asks, laughter bubbling out of her throat. Harry immediately glares.
“Would people stop saying that? I do know things, I don’t not know anything or nothing and I don’t know what Quidditch is, but I’m not a complete idiot,” Harry snaps it out, quickly and with a hot irritation burning in his lungs. Immediately though, at Parvati’s taken-aback expression, he regrets its. “Sorry. I- I didn’t mean to be mean,” he mumbles, tightening his grip on his packages.
Hagrid ruffles his hair lightly, but the wary expression informs Harry he’s still in some form of trouble. “‘S’nothing, Harry. I should o’ given ye a proper talk before bringing you t’ Diagon – business in Gringotts, though, jus’ had t’ be dealt with. ‘S’like yer a muggleborn, but withou’ the obscurity.”
“A muggleborn?” Div raises an eyebrow. “I heard that Lily Evans had a muggle sister, but I didn’t realise you were placed with her. Magical law states you must be placed with either a close magical relative or respectively, a squib relative, due to cultural differences. It is strange that they would consider your aunt a squib, seeing as she had no magical parent.”
Hagrid, then, gets visibly shifty. “Right, we’ve gotta be off – come on, ‘arry.” He starts to pull him away.
Harry manages to raise a hand to wave as the Patil’s blink and wave back hesitantly.
“Bye Potter,” Padma gets out.
“Call me Harry!” He calls back, getting a faint but audible, ‘Call us Parvati and Padma!’
Once back at the Leaky Cauldron, Hagrid pays for them to stay the night and Harry gets to sleep on a real bed – one with fluffy pillows and a thick mattress that didn’t dig into his spine. It makes him think of the Dursley’s and his cupboard, with its thin mattress more suitable for a cot than the floor.
Click.
Harry flinches slightly at the loud noise, sitting up in bed with difficulty, only to hear another noise, this one unfamiliar and chilling to the bone. It makes his skin crawl and Harry brings his knees up to his chest as he hears a thump and then a pitter-patter of claws on wood. Moonlight streams through the uncovered window and he sees a fuzzy shimmer of blue silver and stares at his blurry crocodile as it moves across the room, stopping just out of sight, by the bed. Harry hesitates, before leaning over to look at it.
“I am female,” the crocodile snaps its jaws. “Treat me with respect, monkey.”
Harry’s eyes widen. “You can speak?”
“Yes. Now pick me up, monkey, so that I might guard you properly. Stupid monkeys with their stupid cages…you are a hatchling and my sacred charge. I will guard you, as my mother guarded her hatchling. Pick me up.”
Harry does as the crocodile says, wondering if he’s dreaming as his hands slip over her surprisingly moist scales. She’s heavier than he would have guessed and far less balanced. As he sets her down on the bed beside him with difficulty, she grumbles.
“I will teach you how to pick me up. That was uncomfortable. My bones will break and my organs will be crushed if you still do that when I am larger and more majestic.” The crocodile manoeuvres over the white covers, coming up to settle beside his pillow. “Lie down, monkey. Hatchlings need to sleep in times of darkness.”
Harry lies down obediently, but doesn’t shut his eyes. Having a crocodile right next to his head seems altogether a recipe for disaster – both for him and the crocodile.
“Will- will you be okay there? You won’t fall off, will you?”
The crocodile snaps her jaw again, “No, monkey, I will not fall. I will be your guardian and I will guard you in your times of sleep – which is now! Sleep, stupid monkey!” She pads closer, nipping his wrist and Harry lets out a slight yelp, more surprised than hurt. “I tire of your stupidity. Sleep.”
Harry can feel a sudden draw to sleep, a tingling that reminds him of the energy in the air when Hagrid gave Dudley a tail running down his spine. Panic begins to envelope him right before he loses sense of reality and falls into slumber, a final thought running through his head with stark clarity.
Hagrid should have just gotten me an owl.
(x, x)
harry potter except hedwig is a crocodile
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