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whumpasaurus101 · 3 years ago

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Five Past Three

Oki ik i said i was on a writing break but uhmmmmm feck that :) here is some Pheonix content BC THE POOR BEBE HAS BEEN NEGLECTED OMG!!! SO here is some backstory shenanigans that are sorta important to know heheh 👀

CW: drug use (not in too much detail but oc is high.) / i cant think of anything else BUT if i missed anything plz plz plzzzz lmk!!!!!

masterlist

Pheonix collapsed to the ground with a grunt. His whole body was tingling, almost numb. He felt as if everyone in the world was watching him. He lifted his head, no one.

The wind blew more, making Pheonix shiver.

He could still feel the pounding of the nightclub’s music in his head. Not the one he worked at, oh no no, he wouldn't get high at the place he worked at.

He scrambled in his pocket with numb fingers, trying his best to take out his phone. He tried to put in his passcode, 1-7-8-5, try again, 1-4-5-6, try again “FUCK!” Pheonix yelled, throwing his phone across the car park, hearing it crack against the concrete.

“Who’s there?” Came a voice. Pheonix curled up more in on himself. “Son, are you alright?” Phoenix's head snapped up to see an old man standing in front of him. His vision was shaking as he tried to focus in on the man. He could hear him talking but he couldn't understand! He sounded so far away, yet, he was just about a meter away.

“Hey -ah! Ya reak, boy! What did you take?!”

“Wh-what time is it?” Pheonix’s shaky voice asked. “It's five past three in the mornin’, lad. Now, are ya gonna answer my question?” Pheonix shook his head. No. To be fully honest, Pheonix didn’t know himself. He shouldn't have been so reckless! How did he even get in the carpark? He didn't remember walking here.

“This is dangerous! Someone coulda just picked you from the streets and- well, God knows what would happen! You're lucky I saw ya, lad.” His phone! That's what he was doing! “C-could you pass me my phone please, it-it's over there.” The man looked at him, confused at first before he saw the phone lying there. He strolled over and picked it up, studying the cracked screen.

The lock screen came on and the man could see some notifications. Ten missed calls from Sammy, a bunch of text messages from Sammy too and then just some regular notifications. “Well, it seems as if someone is worried about you, ya better call them back before they go absolutely mad lookin’ for ya, ay?”

Pheonix just held out his hand for the phone before asking again, “What time is it?” The man huffed, “Lad, you just asked, it's still five past three.” Pheonix’s eyebrows furrowed, “N-no, you told me that ages ago, th-the- I-”

“Shhh, it's alright, relax yourself.” He passed Pheonix’s phone over and pointed at the time, “See?” He asked in a gentle voice. Pheonix nodded as he saw the numbers through tear-filled eyes.

“I-I- yes, I’m sorry-” “Hey, no need. Now, how about you ring your friend there and we can sort out how we can get ya home. How does that sound?” Pheonix nodded as he tried to put in his passcode once more. His hands were shaking violently as his numb fingers attempted to key in the numbers. Please try again.

“Here, how about I’ll put it in for you and you can do the talking, aye?” Pheonix nodded, “The uh, the passcode is 1-4-5-2. The man put in the code and Pheonix’s phone unlocked. The man opened the phone app and pressed the contact ‘Sammy’. It only took one ring until Sammy’s desperate voice was heard, “Pheonix?!? Pheonix are you okay?! God I'm gonna kill you if I haven't already died from a heart attack!" Pheonix chuckled slowly, " ‘m okay Sammy. Well, kinda. Theres a uh,, a man with me.”

“WHAT?! PHEONIX PUT ME ON SPEAKER RIGHT NOW!”

“Ay, it's okay, he’s makin’ it sound a lot worse than it is,” The man chuckled. Pheonix laughed, almost falling from his sitting position. “It's alright, my name is Hudson Wheeler, I’ll share the location where we are now. I was walkin’ back to my car when I saw your friend here, someone must have roofied him.. Unless he took the drugs himself. Although, I haven't gotten much chat from him.”

Sammy’s breathing was heavy on the other line as he tried to decide whether to believe it. “Alright, alright, stay on the call and send me your location right now.” Hudson went into messages and selected the button to share the location, he waited for a moment before asking, “Have you got it?”

“Yeah, yeah. Jesus Christ, Pheonix. Alright, how long can you stay with him for, Hudson?”

“As long as you need. You know, I can bring him anywhere if you need me to?”

“No, no, sorry, but no. I- I’ll collect him but it might take me a little while.”

“That's alright. No worries, I have all the time in the world.” Sammy let out a sigh of relief, “Uhm, thank you. Thanks for helping him and I’m sorry I was salty at the start. He’s just, well we've had some bad experiences when it comes to this stuff in the past.”

“Hey, it's all good! You're a great friend.”

“See you sooooon Ssssssammmmyyyyy,” Pheonix laughed.

“Mhm… see you soon.”

Sammy hung up and Hudson looked at Pheonix, shaking his head and chuckled.

Sammy rushed out to the driveway of their house and quickly hopped into his car, keys, wallet, water, phone. That's everything, they thought. They quickly turned on the engine and reversed out of the driveway. They pulled up a map on their phone and followed the directions that came up on the screen.

They put the volume of the radio on full volume and drove. He knew he was driving over the speed limit but he had to get to his friend. They had to. Their foot pressed down on the excelerator more than intended but they didn't notice.

They didn't notice until police sirens started to blare. “No! SHIT!” They slammed the steering wheel with all his force, making their palms turn red. They thought about just speeding and avoiding the police, but he had enough things that they could get caught for than that.

They growled and pulled over, running a hand through their hair. A policeman came over and tapped on the window. Sammy blew out a huff of air and pulled down the window, “Hey officer.”

The officer shone a flashlight into the car, making Sammy wince and cover their eyes. “HEY! Hands up slowly, no sudden movements.” “I'm s-sorry officer!”

“It's alright, now, do you know why I pulled you over?” The officer’s thick Southern accent spoke. “I'm sorry, I was going way above the speed limit, I just- I wasn't thinking, I just-” “Hey, hey, hey, no need to get wound up now alright?” Sammy nodded. “Alright, and where are you going to?”

Sammy thought for a moment, they couldn't give away too much. Pheonix had taken drugs. The last thing Sammy would want is their friend to get arrested!! “I uhm, I'm just going to pick up my friend.” “Mhmm, alright. Listen, you seem like a good person, although I am quite curious why you're out this late, but listen. Drive slower and focus, got it?” Sammy nodded quickly, “Y-yes officer, thank you so much officer, I promise it won’t happen again.” The police officer chuckled slightly, “It's alright, safe drive.” “You too.”

The officer patted the window and smiled and Sammy drove off. Slow, slow, easy, calm, relax. They looked to the map, fifteen minutes.

Hudson looked over to Pheonix who was now lying on the ground, eyes wide as he looked up at night sky. Tears streamed down his face. “Hey now, why are you crying?” Pheonix licked his dry lips and shrugged. He could see streaks of pink and green in the sky, he guessed Hudson couldn't see them.

Hudson dug into his backpack, “Ah, I knew I had it!” He took out a water bottle, “Here, sit up.” He supported Pheonix’s back and helped him sit up. He brought the water bottle to Pheonix’s lips and gently tipped the water.

Pheonix was fully leaning against Hudson for support. He gulped the water quickly and whined as Hudson took the bottle away. “Hey, I cant have ya gettin sick alright?” Pheonix whined but nodded. He then turned his body with a groan and cuddled into Hudson as he shivered.

Hudson sighed as he looked at Pheonix, “What are ya doin’ to yourself, lad?” He shielded his eyes as bright lights suddenly shone. “Looks like your friend is here. Hey, wake up.” Hudson slowly stood up, carrying Pheonix by the shoulders with him.

Sammy rushed out of their car and dashed over to Pheonix, “Oh my god, Pheonix, you idiot! Here, can you help me get him into the car please?” “Of course.”

The pair guided Pheonix to the backseat and laid him across the back. Sammy closed the door and sighed. Hudson gave him a sympathetic smile. “Thank you, thank you so much.”

“Of course, my pleasure. I would tell you ways to help him sober up, but I'm guessing this isn't your first rodeo,” He chuckled slightly.

Sammy huffed, “No, can't say it is. But seriously, thank you. Listen, this is all I got but please take it,” Sammy handed a fifty dollar bill to Hudson. “No, hey, that's not necessary at all!”

“No, no, please take it.”

Hudson sighed and took it, “Thank you.”

“Can I give you a lift back home at all?” Hudson smiled, “Oh that's so kind, my car is actually only five minutes away but thank you.”

“Of course -no of course.”

“Well, you better get that laddo home, hm?” “Yes, yes. Thank you.”

Sammy got back into the driver’s seat and turned on the engine. They looked in the mirror and saw Pheonix asleep. They smiled and closed his eyes for a moment. No, no, get home and then sleep. They widened his eyes and put their hands back on the steering wheel.

The drive home was fine. Sammy didn't play the radio to ensure Pheonix could rest. They kept at the right speed too, they couldn't get pulled over again. They yawned and blinked hard for a few moments.

Once the car pulled into the driveway, Sammy helped Pheonix into their house. Pheonix groaned but Sammy ignored him, “Hey, none of that now. Cmon, let's get you to your room.”

They tucked Pheonix into the guest room’s bed and left a basin on the ground just incase. “Rest up,” they whispered. “G’niiiiiiiiiight,” Pheonix chuckled.

---

taglist: @as-a-matter-of-whump @jordanstrophe @milk-carton-whump @yesthisiswhump @kixngiggles @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @happy-whumper @thelazywitchphotographer

#Pheonix #Hudson #Sammy #tw: drugs #two caretakers #writing #my writing #whump writing #(not really whumpy though jkhfjkf)#backstory #also im really sorry if there are typosssssss

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sondepoch · 5 years ago

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Day 5

10 Days (Jumin Han x Reader)

You didn't expect to find yourself locked in an engagement to Chairman Han, but with your own mother forcing you into it, you have no way of denying her. But as time continues and things change, you begin to develop affections for your fiance's son: Jumin Han. But the sad truth is that there's nothing either of you can do to stop the marriage, and you only have these 10 days before your future becomes reality. 10 days with Jumin Han.

Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7 | Day 8 | Day 9 | Day 10 | ✔

MASTERLIST

How much time passes before you understand what's happening? How long is it before a thought finally finds it way back into your stupid, foolish head, and you realize the consequences of kissing the son of the man you're engaged to?

Too much time.

You're on top of Jumin, straddling him with two legs on either side of him. His kisses are slow. Passionate. Lips trailing down to your neck, he sucks on the skin ever-so-gently, and it's only when you hear the lewd sound of your own moan that reality hits you.

You stiffen.

And Jumin notices.

"(Y/N)...?" Jumin asks, raising his eyes to yours.

"We can't do this," You murmur breathlessly. "We can't. I'm engaged. To your father."

With those final words, Jumin's eyes widen the slightest—as if he too had forgotten the fact—and you pull yourself off him. But he pulls your wrist before you can leave the couch.

"That can change."

The man's eyes are earnest, as if he genuinely believes what he's saying. But he doesn't know the truth. "We're meeting your mother tomorrow, no, today. In twelve hours, she'll be here, and you'll be free of your engagement and we can..."

You turn to Jumin. "We can what? What is there for us to do?"

"This," Jumin murmurs, stealing a chaste kiss from your lips. You let the moment linger, basking in its tranquility, before pulling away.

"My mother won't let me cancel the engagement, Jumin." You cast your eyes low on the ground. "My personal desires don't matter. I can't go against her wishes."

"You can." Jumin encourages.

"No, Jumin. I can't." You stand up, brushing past him to get to your room, ignoring even Elizabeth's innocent meow in your haste to hide your tears. Only when you get to your room do you allow them to fall, whimpering softly over your own inability to control your fate.

You press your back to the door and slide down it, trying your hardest to keep your cries quiet.

It's not fair.

Your whole life, you've been the perfect daughter. Even your mother had struggled to find excuses to take her anger out on you, until your father had sacrificed his life to save you from being hit by a car. From that moment onward, she had only needed one reason to hurt you: the fact that you were even alive.

Pitiful, isn't it?

It was a drunk driver who ruined your life so.

But your mother was still furious.

She loved Father, you realize bitterly. After that whole escapade with Jumin, you had your first taste of what a true relationship would feel like—if only it weren't forbidden to you—and you'd come to realize that whatever your mother felt for your father was akin to your feelings for Jumin.

It's not fair. You think, choking back a sob. It's all so unfair. Why must you pursue Chairman Han when you would be so much happier with someone else? You bite your lip as your mind automatically fills in the blank. Why must you pursue Chairman Han when you would be so much happier with Jumin?

The media would love it. The corporate heirs of BC-Sonic and C&R uniting in holy matrimony to pave the way not only their families but the enterprising future of their companies.

And Jumin's actually my age, you think, scoffing at the fact that he's still older than you.

You sigh.

You've stayed with Jumin barely five days, and he's already been the perfect gentleman. The perfect husband. And from those kisses, it's obvious that he wouldn't be opposed to a relationship with you.

Your heart feels a little bit lighter when you think about the prospect of a future with Jumin. It would be a future free of everything you'd been chained down to since your adoption.

It would be a perfect future.

But it's a future I can't have, you think bitterly, before dragging yourself to bed.

And that thought lurks in your mind for the rest of the night, through early morning, and during breakfast when you and Jumin sit opposite each other, separated only by the extravagant sea of dishes prepared by his private chef.

He sits across from you, already handsome and ready in suit and tie, despite it still being early morning. He cuts into an onion and cheese omelet, expression calm and controlled.

Even when he doesn't try, he's perfect.

And I can't have him.

"(Y/N)..." Jumin trails off, interrupting the silence. "We should speak. About last night."

You bite your lip. On the list of the many things that kept you up last night, this impending conversation was ranked high.

"Last night was a mistake, Jumin. We can't let it happen again."

"You expect me to believe you truly desire my father over me?"

"I expect you to understand that I have to desire your father over you."

You hate the bluntness of your voice, and how stern your responses are to Jumin's gentle questions, but you have to be firm. Because even a moment of weakness may lead to a recap of yesterday's events. And you can't let that happen.

Breakfast passes by quickly.

Too quickly, for your liking.

By lunchtime Mother will be here, you realize with a start. And for the first time since your arrival in this apartment, time seems to fly by. You do everything in your power to make things feel slower, the most mundane of tasks that make minutes feel like hours. But nothing works.

For the first time, as you close BC-Sonic's feedback logs, you find that the four hours you spent reviewing department productivity rates flew by and you have scarcely fifteen minutes before your mother's expected arrival.

And she's never late.

So all you can do it wait.

Jumin tries to maintain a facade of calmness, but you can tell by the way he's constantly straightening his tie that even he's nervous to meet your mother. Is he regretting inviting her here?

He should, you think, memories of childhood abuse flooding through your mind. The sheer thought prompts your hand down, where you massage the damaged skin on your outer thigh before you forcefully move it away.

The past is the past. And after this meeting, it will be behind me.

In another room, Jumin's grandfather clock chimes twelve times.

Midday. Noon. 12 o'clock.

Twelve hours ago, you'd been on this same couch, arms wrapped around Jumin without a care in the world. Now, all your thoughts are of the diamond ring on your finger and a single knock.

Your mother.

She only ever knocks once, too certain of her status to ever bother with more. It's an insult that I even have to knock, she'd told you once when you asked her why.

Your eyes dart up to Jumin, who instantly gets up and walks to open the door.

"Hello, Mrs. (L/N)." His tone is courteous, charming even, and your mother glances at him, eyes wary and cigarette in hand. You can see the distrust in her eyes, but she finally responds with a polite nod, her voice laced with only a thin tone of superiority.

"You were very discreet over the phone, Jumin," Your mother says as she places her purse on the couch opposite you, seating herself. Even with Jumin in the room, you can't help but feel like the same seventeen-year-old girl you'd been the last time she'd hurt you.

So much time has passed since then.

But only the exterior scars had healed. Inside, you're just as frightened now as you were then.

"I was wondering if we could discuss the details of (Y/N)'s engagement to my father over lunch," Jumin states calmly, and you try your best not to let your terror show on your face.

"Oh?" Your mother turns to Jumin, and you're relieved that she's not directing her question at you. Your palms as already sweaty and you can feel your threadbare thoughts loping into knots as you try to calm yourself. "And what could there be to discuss about two people in love?"

Jumin swallows, evidently not prepared for your mother's show of ignorance. A moment of silence passes before he speaks.

"I think that's the matter to discuss itself: whether these two people are indeed in love."

"It's very bold of you to make these claims, Jumin." Your mother says, smiling and taking a puff of her cigarette. Her smile is empty, though, and you can hear the hissing snake of accusation in her words. "What do you have to say about this, (Y/N)?"

Your mother turns to you, and her (e/c) eyes have never been so intense as they are now. Her gaze is penetrating as she stares you down, challenging you.

"W-well," You stutter, trying to hide the tremble in your voice. "I think...that love...is a very strong word."

"Do you doubt that Chairman Han loves you?" Your mother states.

"N-not at all. I never mea—"

"Then it's only right that you should return his feelings wholeheartedly." Your mother offers you a smile, and her expression is prideful. I win, you can almost hear her say.

You can't bring yourself to say anything else. All you've said to her for the past two and a half decades has been in agreement with her. You'd been trained to tell her "Yes Mother" and "As you wish" without any hint of resistance.

Even if you knew what to say to her, you doubt you'd have the courage to.

Thankfully, Jumin steps in.

"For the sake of my father, I think that it'd be wiser to postpone the engagement until a time when (Y/N)'s feelings are more...developed. If such a time should come, then I think all parties involved would be pleased to watch her and my father partake in the marriage."

"If such a time should come? Jumin, are you doubting my daughter's feelings for your father? That's quite rude, I must say. If I were you, I'd apologize to (Y/N) at once for such a callous comment."

A fire lights inside you, at your mother's rudeness to Jumin. His eyes are round in surprise as he looks at you, and you fear that your mother's words have already gotten to him, so you speak before he can.

"Mother, Jumin is right."

The moment those words leave your lips, it's as if the apartment has dropped ten degrees. It feels like winter, and the chill rage radiating off your mother is truly terrifying. Her glare is ice cold, and you pull your eyes away. Instead, you look at Jumin who offers you a nod of encouragement for what you're about to say.

"I don't want to marry Chairman Han."

With those words, Jumin smiles at you. You can tell that he's proud you finally mustered up the courage to tell your mother the truth...but the moment you turn your gaze back upon your mother, you quickly realize that the truth isn't going to be enough.

"You think I don't already know that, (Y/N)?" Your mother drops her cigarette on the ground, lighting a new one before taking a sharp puff. "Very well. It seems I have to remind you why you obey me. Jumin, lock the door."

No...

"Pardon? The chef will be in with appetizers any moment now, so—"

"Lock the door."

Not in front of Jumin...

"(Y/N), strip."

Please don't...

"Now."

But your body betrays you, and you're no longer a proud businesswoman in her twenties. You're back to being the same foolish child your mother spent years abusing, and your fear won't let you do anything but obey.

With shaking hands, you remove your top.

"(Y-Y/N)!" Jumin sputters out, his temporary shock overridden by the sight of you actually meeting your mother's absurd request. "This is madness, don't—"

"This is the real world, Jumin." The snake that had been hiding behind your mother's words had finally come to play, and it was a hissing monster, vicious as it was cruel. "You made the decision to get in the way of my relationship with my daughter, so now you will see the consequences of your actions. Very good, (Y/N). Stand up."

Now wearing nothing more than your delicate (f/c) panties and a bra, you force yourself to stand, ignoring the vigor at which your legs are shaking. You keep your eyes fixated forward, unable to look at your mother or Jumin or anything else that might make your tears fall.

Your mother approaches you, ignoring Jumin and his attempts to stop her.

Even then, as he stands in front of your mother, telling her how ridiculous she's being, he doesn't understand the severity of the situation. For such a shrewd businessman, he still doesn't realize what's happening.

Your mother approaches you, drawing the cigarette from her lips.

And then you see the realization dawn on Jumin's face. He figured it out. Why you'd been terrified of your mother, why you were marrying Chairman Han at her request, why you had begged him to cancel today's meeting.

Child abuse.

At least, it had been child abuse. Once you turned eighteen, your mother decided that she had enough power over you to free you from the shackles of pain, and your skin had begun to heal, the burns fading into scars.

Until today.

Your mother twists your neck painfully and forces you to look her straight in the eye as she presses the hot end of the cigarette down against the familiar spot on your thigh. The scars had just begun to fade, you think helplessly as tears ran down your cheeks, the pain familiar but excruciating nonetheless.

You stood paralyzed before her as she continued to dig the hot stub into your upper thigh, bringing back years of memories from when you'd stood before her just like this with no escape before her merciless hands.

But Jumin steps in.

"Mrs. (L/N)!" He practically shouts, all but yanking your body away from your mother to pull your smaller form into his. Now he, too, is trembling, but he wraps his arms protectively around you. "Security! SECU—"

"Jumin," Your mother interrupts, a threatening glare on her face. She drops the cigarette she was holding onto the floor and pulls a lighter from her purse. With a single flick of the thumb, a flame has appeared. She holds it dangerously close to your skin. "Call your guards, and I will make certain that (Y/N) here endures much worse than anything she's had to handle with me. You both need to accept the truth. (Y/N) will marry Chairman Han. That is final."

Your mother returns to her seat on the couch, acting as if nothing had just happened, casually lighting another cigarette.

"Mrs. (L/N)," Jumin pleads. "Why are you doing this? I am the corporate heir to C&R, a marriage with me would be far more beneficial than o-"

"Oh? You want to marry each other? You two children are in love, is that it?" Your mother's smile is unamused. "Yes...I was in love with (Y/N)'s father before she ruined everything. Whatever affair you have going on here makes no difference. The press statement was released yesterday. I've already spoken to Chairman Han. He wishes to wed you immediately, (Y/N)."

"How immediate?" Jumin voices your thoughts, and you're so relieved that at least he has the courage to speak. The last of your strength sizzled with the cigarette your mother drove into your thigh.

"More immediate than you'd think. If I were you, I'd give your father a call. It seems that C&R is in some serious trouble," Your mother smiles pleasantly, confident once more in her power over you. "And he wishes to tie the knot with BC-Sonic down as quickly as possible to minimize damage. There's nothing either of you can do to change that."

Your mother stands up, confident that with her decision, this 'meeting' is concluded. "Do not call me again, Jumin. Apart from seeing (Y/N) at her wedding, I do not wish to see either of your faces ever again."

Your mother doesn't bother bidding either of you farewell, simply taking her leave. She's finished what she came here for and reasserted her power over you in the process with that cigarette.

Your eyes drop to the familiar spot on your thigh where the old scars have been further uglified by the fresh mark. At the very sight of the burned skin, you lose the last strength in your legs. If not for Jumin's quick reaction, you would have collapsed.

"(Y/N)?" He murmurs, holding you up. He uses his thumb to wipe your tears away. "Shit. Please don't cry, (Y/N), please." Jumin cradles you, and you let out a distressed sob.

You'd thought you were finally free, but your mother just demonstrated that it doesn't matter how far you flee or who you're with—the abuse will never end.

"Everything will be okay," Jumin murmurs, picking you up and carrying you bridal style. You continue to cry into his chest. Nothing will be okay. If your future had been sealed before, now it's airtight. Your mother won't let you do anything to change that.

You whimper as Jumin sets you down on the cold countertop in the kitchen, still half-naked. You tremble when he momentarily steps away, but Jumin is quick to pull you back into his arms once he has an ice cube in his hand. The kiss of the ice is biting as he rubs circles into your thigh, but it's still nothing compared to the pain of when she was actively harming you.

"Everything will be okay," Jumin repeats.

No, it won't, you want to scream at him, but your current state renders you unable to do anything more than tremble in his arms.

Before you register it, Jumin has carried you to what you imagine is his bedroom, lying you delicately under the several blankets. He never releases you, never halts his ministrations with the ice, never stops wiping your tears away.

He doesn't leave your side, not even for a second.

"I'm so sorry, (Y/N)" Jumin murmurs once your cries have died down. "If I'd known that she'd...I wouldn't have...it's my fault. I'm so sorry."

You offer Jumin a weak smile, hating the expression of guilt he's wearing. He looks better when he's smiling.

"Don't blame yourself," You finally manage to say. "It's over. She's gone, and I won't need to see her for a long time."

At the back of your mind, you recall her words about Chairman Han. He wishes to wed you immediately.

"The future might be set in stone, but we have the present, don't we?" You say weakly, smiling up at Jumin.

"Don't think like that," He protests, pulling you up so he can look you directly in the eyes. "I'll get you out of this. You don't need to marry my father. You can marry...someone different."

"Someone like you, you mean?" You respond. The very thought brings a smile to your face. "I can't. I'm destined to be with your father. It's...it's for the best."

"Best for who? If you marry my father, only he gets happiness, and that's if you manage to convince him that you're genuinely in love with him. That's one person. But if we were to be together," Jumin brings a hand to cup your cheek. "Then the two of us are happy."

"When I wed your father, it won't just be him who's happy. It'll be the whole world. And the media. Everyone in C&R. And...and I think it'll make my mother happy."

Jumin instantly frowns when he hears that last part. "How could you compromise your own happiness for hers? She's abusive, (Y/N). She just burned you with a ci—"

"She's my mother," You say firmly.

"Adoptive mother."

"Exactly. She chose me because she wanted me to bring her happiness...and I stole her happiness when Father protected me from that car and sacrificed his life for mine. If I can give her even a little bit of it back..."

"Don't do this," Jumin whispers. "Don't let yourself get trapped in the guilt."

You sigh.

"I don't have any other choice, Jumin. If I displease Mother, you know what will happen."

"I'd protect you," Jumin murmurs, his voice getting desperate. "I'd do everything I could for you."

But you can't accept his love.

"I know you would, Jumin." You tell him, leaning your forehead against his as you did just last night. Only this time, the atmosphere is gloomy and miserable, both your minds heavy with the knowledge that your futures lies not in each other, but along separate paths.

And no amount of love, passion, or desire will be able to change that.

MASTERLIST

Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7 | Day 8 | Day 9 | Day 10 | ✔

Word count: 3.5k

Notes: Woohooo! My hand has (mostly) healed and I am back in action! All the ideas have been stacking up - you're going to get so much content from me these next few days. :D And this series will officially begin updating on Saturdays AND Wednesdays! Whooopeeee! (sorry im so happy to finally be able to write again)

Comment & Like

Next Update: 4/29/20

I do not own the rights to Mystic Messenger or any of the characters within it.

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phoebehalliwell · 4 years ago

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okay but if bianca was already like....5/6/7 before chris was even born, is that the age difference in the "evil world" canon? or is it a weird thing with phoenixes + aging?

i mean,, i can’t think of a reason it wouldn’t be bc like. at that point we are still very much on track for a dark future chris has not made the change necessary to save wyatt as evident by the fact that when bianca drags his ass back to the future it’s still the dark future. so like. if we were to eliminate futureboy!chris from this timeline right now the future would carry on into the dark future where this age gap would still be there, and then obviously it’s still then in the altered/changed/fixed timeline bc like that’s the timeline we’re following. we already saw kid bianca and we saw chris y’know be born and exist. i don’t really wanna tinker with aging for phoenixes bc like. i feel like it just gets difficult defining the rules and figuring out how they apply all that how she ages into the future like this that and the other and then if you’re doing that you also have to take into account how they mentally age bc it doesn’t matter if bianca physically ages slower than chris so like idk they’re both physically 18 at the same time, she’d still mentally have 5 years on him which i feel like the only reason to change the way bianca ages would be to make this age gap less weird and that doesn’t quite do that if anything i feel like it makes it weirder if i were to add anything to the lore with phoenixes & aging it would be something to do with what happens when they die y’know like some “phoenix rising from the ashes schtick” and if i were to do that it would be like okay so this is just the origin myth i have in my head blah blah blah we have our og phoenix who’s a witch in salem and she’s just a normal witch seeing all these witch trials and is like ruh roh and this is an au where they actually like burn witches in salem but also an au where witches actually exist so let’s start there and she’s seeing all these women burned at the stake and idk maybe they got her coven or maybe someone ratted her out she knows the end is nigh so she goes out to seek some mythic phoenix and something something something or other idk she completes three great tasks and earns a phoenix feather and she fuses herself with the phoenix magic (thus giving her the phoenix mark) and then the witch hunters find her and burn her at the stake and uhh that hurts like a motherfucker an she ends up extra crispy and they’re like okay that was fun and idk everyone goes to bed for the night in their little puritan village as our lovely og phoenix’s charred body starts to slowly try to heal itself and basically drags it’s charred skeletal ass into the woods and lays there for three days and three nights as her body slowly starts to reconstitute itself blah blah blah give it a week and she’s basically a full human again and she finds that while she retained basic magic she lost her active powers blah blah blah she swears to get vengeance on those who wronged her and idk stick to the shadows somewhere along the lines she finds she can obtain new powers when she has her daughter (not her first bc she first was burned in the witch trials rip) her daughter is born with the same phoenix mark and no active powers and blah blah blah she becomes really really old as you do when you age something or other she’d like on deaths door and let’s say idk her house is burning down or something so she goes in to save something idk an heirloom or like her great granddaughter and saves her but like dies in the fire but wait what’s this once again a charred skeleton is trying to pull itself back together it’s the original phoenix and she’s now the same age she was when she was first “reborn” from the fire and so the first phoenix i’d say lived for probs a couple centuries just you know self immolate on her deathbed & be born again until she finally like tapped out you know lived a full enough life that she’s like okay this has been fun goodbye fr now But i do not think all phoenixes have this power (which uhh can really only be learned the hard way) i think maybe like three people tops (including our original phoenix) have this rebirth gift the rest like if you burn to death u burn to death end of story but this also then gave the phoenix traditions of a) burning their dead and b) a firewalk to symbolize the final steps into adulthood. and i do think there are some like really extreme crazed phoenixes (is that really the plural? okay google says the plural is phoenix or phoenixes or phoenices which are all fun imo) who do like think they’ve been blessed with this gift but it’s like. it’s all or nothing. you have to actually die in a fire to find out. so like. is it worth it? some people have said yes, but the answer is actually No. Okay All That Being Said yes i’d give bianca this gift bc she is Chosen she’s Special also i love her and think it’s sick as fuck so it’s like. she could have died in a fire when she was like a toddler or something blah blah blah and then let’s say when she was like idk six i guess she was stabbed? for some reason? we’ll say a demon and her mother, knowing that she was born with this gift promptly uhh lit her daughter on fire and then out of the ashes got a lil toddler again then that would put her at the same biological age and relatively closer to the mental age of chris as i image lynn would have wiped bianca’s memory a wee bit after all that But that is like A Lot bianca dying as a kid so i don’t think i’d do All That i’m just keeping them with a slightly under 5 year age gap (bianca’s a sagittarius born in 1999) and just give them the journey of Not knowing each other’s ages to bianca learning she’s like Five Whole Years older than chris and proceeding to tease him for being like a tiny baby child despite chris being like what 21 when he knows her she’s like oh sorry shouldn’t you be like studying for your sat or something? or idk they’ll be watching some movie made in like 2008 and bianca will be like oh didn’t this come out the year you were born? can you even legally drive? (no, he can’t, he does not have a driver’s license) bc like. it’s weird. they bridge the century y’know i think it really freaks her out that he was 2004 bc mentally she’s like okay you should be like 15? 16? but again it’s like i really want they’re relationship to be this slow burn so while they might meet when he’s like freshly 21 and she’s 25 going on 26 they probably won’t start dating for idk like 3-4 years so then they’re like what 25 and 30 which like. idk i don’t think is that weird. it’s like how in university undergrads will date grad students and there’ll be like a four year split but it’s not incredibly weird bc they’re both relatively at the same states in their life but like an undergraduate dating a high schooler is a major red flag bc they are both in insanely different places in their life like bro if ur dropping them off at their parent’s house & then driving back to your apartment you share w three friends like reassess. please. but i think in regards to chris & bianca and their age gap, when they meet they’re both relatively in the same “era” in life (is there where i mention chris is a college drop out bc he is) and when they grow they grow together

#yeah so these r my thots #idk why they had like kid bianca in the show #i don't remember why she was necessary #they didn't have to do that #but they did #so like #¯\_(ツ)_/¯#bianca bishop #i think i should create a phoenix tag 4 my assorted thots on the phoenix #uh #phoenix #phoenix meta #i'll commit later #charmed

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d3uteragonist · 6 years ago

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Review of Queen Of Theives

I’ll give a short review of each route and give it over all first season a score of 1-7! This is about as spoiler free as I can make it! This is mostly personal opinion though so take this with a grain of salt

Overall: I REALLY like queen of thieves, it’s quickly climbing my list of favorites, much to my shock and delight. I was skeptical of a new series after the disappointment sweet enchantments turned out to be (I was SO excited u guys ;-;) and even more so when I found out the thief series had a Latina MC, but once I got to actually reading it, I didn’t mind so much. It was actually pretty nice being able to see myself in this MC despite my early suspicions and complaints. I really respect the lack of predictablity these routes have. They’re MUCH less inclined to stick to a status quo as Lovestruck loves to do, every character (havent read Leon yet) has a different pace of progression, some developing faster or slower than others and I really enjoy that. It’s less “it’s episode 10 so now we kiss” and more “the events leading up to this scenario lead to this specific level of intimacy to maybe we’ll kiss right now or maybe we’re not even close to that” which if you’ve read my post about Lovestruck’s element of surprise, you’ll KNOW how absolutely relieved I am about it. This series is a much needed breath of fresh air and I’m here for it.

Nikolai: ohhh Boy,,, my favorite one 😔 Nikolai Stirling is a pan criminal mastermind who stole my WHOLE HEART. If you’ve read or at least heard of Lucien’s route you’ll know he takes the “Cold unfeeling man” trope a little too far, being just plain direspectful and rude. Nikolai is the opposite. Yes he does cater to this trope but unlike Lucien he is given likable characteristics early on and has a very charming and intriguing character dynamic with MC, which is the highlight of the route. There’s also this constant level of sexual tension that’s very exciting 😳 The plot itself is pretty thrilling and fun, if a little surprisingly simple. 7/7

Vivienne: What a woman! Vivienne Tang is a striking lesbian falling under the “sultry seductress” trope. Before Zoe was revealed I was hesitant about a seductress character, since Vivienne was the first woman we knew about. However, when I started reading I found I didn’t mind one bit, although mostly for..... biased reasons. I personally really enjoyed the level of sexual tension Vivienne’s route had to offer, although I’ve heard from some that it feels one sided to them. Her strength tricking people using her sexuality (even though the actual heist has little to do with that) so I’d argue that it’s good writing if even the reader is left feeling flustered and confused. Personally I love the heist itself and it’s got some fun twists. 7/7

Remy: Geez! This route is just plain fun. Remy Chevalier, is a bisexual French conman. He’s flowery, dramatic and romantic which is always a good time. Although I won’t spoil anything, he does show surprising moments of possessiveness and if the MC wasn’t so quick to assert her own independence I’d be a little worried. Nonetheless his character is very intriguing and likable. The highlight of this route is actually the heist and developing MC’s skills. I loved the thrill and sense of accomplishment this season had to offer, although it has nothing to do with MC’s actual talents in art which left me feeling somewhat confused. I also didn’t feel like Remy felt particular feelings for MC until the end of the season which felt a little worrying watching MC fall head over heels in love with him. I still very much enjoyed this season tho 6/7

Zoe: Oof. This route is somewhat of an enigma in comparison to most of the entire app. Zoe Banks is a cool lesbian hacker. She has an aloof persona and MC’s personality sort of shifts to foil it. MC is much more hyper, borderline manic in this route. She almost feels like a different person, but that’s not what’s odd about this route. It’s the surprising lack of romance/romantic tension especially compared to everything else we’ve seen within the series. It’s pretty risky to have a route be THIS slowburn but Zoe and MC’s friendship is still definitely delevoped the most, but many readers might not find it satisfying enough. The plot and heist is still pretty enjoyable and I liked it a decent amount. I also found myself really liking getting to know Zoe, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little disappointed in the lack of romance. 5/7

Jett: Jesus christmas. This route is wild. You know how so many routes are advertised as hot and cold, adventurous and passionate, but turn out to be kinda normal??? Yea no this one’s for real. Jett Slater, a bisexual daredevil with an appreciation for art, would not disappoint if you’re looking for excitement. This is the sort of “Let’s blow something up and make out” kinda route. Every route advances differently in terms of physical and romantic affection and if there was a scale, Zoe would be on one side with Jett on the other. There’s little romantic developments, which is made up for with physical development which doesn’t happen very often with Lovestruck. Jett also has the most upfront character flaws which, although add nuance to his character, can lead the reader to be a bit frustrated with him. A couple times he comes across as a jerk but at the very least, MC doesn’t let herself get pushed around. He’s also got the best mini cg’s lol. In terms of personal taste I didn’t like this route that much, but I think that’s more of a Me thing than anything else. 5/7

Leon: ohh geez. Oh shit oh fuc my heart. Leon is the token het and normally I think making ANY character het for no reason is a little obnoxious, I’ll let this one slide bc he’s the driver he has to b straight. Anyways I LOVE Leon. He’s as sweet, gentle and as old fashioned as I expected. He’s a surprisingly very compelling character. The things that make him jaded and mysterious aren’t necessarily different or unique compared to some of Lovestruck’s other characters, but learning about him through MC’s eyes feels impactful. She’s not more naive or childish which is a big relief. I also really enjoyed the heist, it was equal parts exciting and romantic. And oof that ending!! That’s all I’m saying. 7/7

#oh my god i tried to keep this shorter but theres SO MUCH i wanna talk about #queen of thieves #nikolai stirling #vivienne tang #remy chevalier #zoe banks #qot #lovestruck voltage #long post #jett slater #leon kwan

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iampikachuhearmeroar · 7 years ago

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how to keep yourself together during uni semesters in australia:

im not gonna lie: over the past 3 years at uni, i have never kept myself together. so, im probably not the right type of person to give anyone advice on how to keep yourself “together” at uni lmao. but i felt like doing it, since im close to finishing so here you go, people:

class/subject and degree advice:

- if you’re not doing a double degree (which will probably give you four or five subjects to do each sem, and a full 4-5 days at uni each week, like some of my friends), stay home on your days off. take those days both to relax, and also fill yourself in to do some of your readings (although i’ll admit i only started the “doing my readings” thing this semester after two years of ignoring them, lol whoops.) this will help your stress levels a bit (hopefully) bc at least you know what the fuck you’re talking about in class and can actually say something during your tuts/lectures.

- if you’re doing a single degree or even a double degree (again i know some people who’ve done it with double degrees), and your full load of 4 or maybe 5 subjects is stressing you the fuck out, drop down to three units per a semester, if you want to actually keep a full load for certain things. yes, it will make your degree go slower in most cases, but not as slow as going part time. it will obvs make your load a tad lighter (if you’re a full-time student), and it’ll free up your days spent at uni. it will give you fewer deadlines to worry/stress about.

on another note, go part time if you want to/have to. i met one person at a careers fair this year who’d been at uni for five years doing her commerce degree with just one subject a semester bc it gave her less stress and plenty of time to actually work at her job.

- go to your faculty’s/school’s help desk to find out whether your course progression is right. also book meetings with the head of your faculty whenever you can; according to the head of the students bookings are open or wherever possible in your timetable. doing this lets you know whether you’re progressing with your course in the right time-frame, or right time-frame for you. remember, these people are there to help you. this saved me hours of worrying throughout my degree.

- TRANSFER DEGREES IF YOU HAVE TO: if you feel out of your depth, or completely disinterested in your degree, transfer from it. in some cases (mostly if you’re in the same faculty and the degree is a flexible/general one) you can easily get the first year subjects in transfer credit. this is what i did in first year, when i realised that i felt very out my depth, personality-wise and for other reasons, in the bachelor of communication and media studies in 2015. i knew, after one semester of it, that it was not what i wanted to study.

I realised that forcing myself through marketing and management subjects and studying blogging at uni just bc i had a tumblr- yes, that was my kind of ridiculous and super misguided reason for picking the course, believe it or not- would “kill” me, (like obvs not literally) but it would drain tf out of me if i continued w/ it. but luckily, since it was in the same faculty, all i had to do was do an extra subject in spring sem in 2015 (bc degree changes required you to have 24 credit points in a semester to transfer at my uni for most courses), and that sem sucked, but i got a years worth of credit in my degree, so i finish one semester earlier.

- for classes in a single degree, try and find your ideal amount of days at uni. my ideal is three days. i almost had the opportunity to have a two day week at uni this sem, bc the timetable gods were almost good to me. but unfortunately, the timetable gods were assholes and managed to let a two hour tut for one class (editing) on tuesdays ran through my US literature lecture. but i also didn’t really want just 2 days at uni, bc i knew that i probably wouldn’t be fucking productive at all in the 3 remaining days i had off during the week.

- go part-time if you have to, no matter whether you’re on a single or a double degree. do your degree on your own terms.

- don’t listen to your parents spiel on your degree or what majors/minors to do. same goes for running your subject choices by your parents.

- or if uni is really, really getting you down, you can defer for six months and go back later. (also, for mental health, see a councilor/psychologist either from your uni or outside of uni, i started doing this after a mental breakdown in second year).

- on feedback from your professors/tutors: okay, so. i’ll admit here that i’ve become the asshole student that literally only gives a shit about the number grade, rather than the quality etc comments that the professor (usually) gives back to me after they’ve marked my assignment, bc i don’t really have the heart to read what they’ve written etc. but, like. actually read their feedback... or listen to it.

if you have an odd professor that likes to give audio feedback (one of my philosophy profs did this, and no. i didn’t listen to it on either assignment, particularly bc it was my least fave subject that sem and bc i had a drama with the essay that lost me like 20% of my grade for that subject), listen back to it and see what they say on your (presumably, i have faith in y’all) well bullshitted essay. their feedback is valuable. also don’t be afraid to approach your tutors for feedback either.

- on asking for help/advice on your assignments or the subject in general from your profs/tutors: DO THIS. of course, it’ll just be general guidance in their consultation hours or via email, but, don’t be scared to ask them! it might boost your marks a bit or help you clarify your essay’s argument or something like that. i was too terrified for the better part of my degree, and then too stubborn to ask for help from my profs/tutors and i think that’s why my marks and my mental health got kinda shitty. idk how to ask for help. but then again, idk how many people actually do this in the courses i did. but y’all do it.

for the general side of this, they can help you by giving you extensions (if they’re not an asshole) or whatever to help you sort your shit out. this is something i never did. but do it when you need it.

- on the topic of marks, they don’t matter. but don’t try and settle in the “p’s get degrees” mindset... even though i say this whenever i get a final mark and it’s a pass. i aimed for a credit average tbh, marks wise. i’m dead average lmao. but then again, i’ve never been a straight-A student, born to graduate uni with like high class honours or the like.

general uni life and life advice:

- GET YOUR P’S OR BLACKS (i.e. GET YOUR DRIVER’S LICENCE Y’ALL), if your family circumstances permit it or if you’re motivated enough, before you get to uni. it’ll open up so many opportunities on campus (if you don’t live on the campus and you live far away from it). and also other ops outside of uni. (but then again you might not bother driving to uni everyday bc like uni parking, depending how it is at your uni, will always be a fight for spots.

- although i said earlier to use your days off to do some study... also use them for self-care and like life admin meaning the following:

face masks

actually take a looooonnnnngggg fucking showers y’all. the shower is the one place you’ll actually fully relax while you’re at uni. also it’s a good place to mentally plan and map out your essays etc.

yes, netflix

BUY A KINDLE (if your budget permits ofc). although it was a big cost on the outset obvs (its like $200), it was the best investment for me. i saved a fuck ton of money for some subjects, bc the books were either free or like $20-$30 cheaper on my kindle and not anywhere between $20-$40 for some texts in the uni shop. like, textbooks for english lit/creative writing or even philosophy (sometimes) etc subjects, can amount in costing to $200 or more in total for buying separate texts, just like a single, average business/law/nursing/science textbook.

read books from outside of your prescribed texts, and get totally engrossed in them if you can. i did this in first year with the complete tomorrow, when the war began series and the ellie chronicles (it’s sequel trilogy) by john marsden. and yes, i completely ignored by readings for these books, bc i hated like 90% of my uni texts. but i’ll admit that it made uni a tad more bearable, though.

if you have free days, do not go into uni. use them to catch up on sleep. or do my next point.

apply for jobs. maybe you’ll be lucky to get one and learn how to balance study with work. also it can keep you sane, money wise. something i didn’t get to have during these last 3 and a 1/2 years. but you’ll also get to know how hiring works, in general.

make yourself a fucking study timetable. this will help you get an idea of when you’re set for study. and i know, i know. it’s so hypocritical of me to suggest this bc i never bothered to make one for myself anf instead went with “i’ll study when i feel like it”......... which, um, barely ever happened all throughout uni... until this sem. lol whoops. try and stick to your timetable.

if you can, delete you fucking tumblr.

COFFEE! COFFEE! COFFEE! MAKE THIS BEVERAGE YOUR FRIEND.

if your uni has a bar, don’t avoid it. you might make friends there. i was alone at uni for a vast bulk of the time, so i avoided the bar and mostly stayed in the library.... which didn’t give me much time to make friends.

if you make good friends at uni, talk to them often, so that you can coordinate some of your classes/tuts with them and so you can exchange not w/ each other to save time come exams. it’ll also save your ass in some classes where the prof passes around the roll in the lecture and doesn’t really check the attendance

also try and pick subjects that have recorded lectures, those fuckers save your ass come essay writing time etc.

if you’re doing literature/creative writing etc subjects, read some of your prescribed texts in the uni break- in either the november-march break or the june/july break. yeah, it’ll drive you insane bc you’re reading for a class in the holidays, but, fuck. it’s saved my ass a couple of times with books that are anywhere between 200-400 pages long (e.g. wuthering heights, lady chatterly’s lover, the grapes of wrath, any of shakespeare’s plays etc etc) giving me either a lighter reading load bc I’d finished the book during break or I’d left a few pages near the end of the book, but had read the bulk saving me a fuck tonne of reading time during the heavy part of the sem.

AUDIOBOOKS BITCHES. i only started using audiobooks on youtube when doing shakespeare. but damn. they’re amazing if you don’t really want to be engaged in a physical book sometimes, and great for gauging the tone of whats being said/picturing the characters more clearly when doing literature/creative writing subs. i’ve heard several times that they’re particularly good for commuting to and from uni, if you live far away. but sometimes they can be a bit pricey.

buy secondhand textbooks y’all.

DO NOT BUY YOUR TEXTBOOKS IN ADVANCE, in some cases. i did this for a lot of my subjects, and some times one to two of the texts changed each year... or in one case, THE WHOLE FUCKING READING LIST CHANGED. LITERALLY, and i’d spent like $200 buying the books in advance. but also, i got to read some good books by accident. don’t waste your money. but if you can find them cheap (like old editions in other fields obvs, that students are selling, buy them if you hella need the book)

take lunch in to save money on expensive campus food. but on that same note, don’t forget to spoil yourself with some of the nice food on campus every once in while.

also for lit/creative writing subjects, go to your local op shop or thrift shop to find some of the older books and get them for like $2 or 90cents instead of the fucking $15-$30 that your uni will have you sell your soul for.

Feel free to add more!!! and defs for other fields!

#life #about me #shut up ilona #uni #uni life #ilona tries to give advice

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kyunsies · 3 years ago

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i'm willing to indulge you and talk abt ck for as long as you want,, i love that boy (*´꒳`*) i am Going to make a ck smooch compilation at some point i Will >:))) and lmaooo you using ck asmr to fall asleep, as long as it helped! tbh i wish i'd be able to talk slower like he does,, esp when i'm nervous bc a lot of people say i talk fast.

how are you today? i don't think i'm gonna do much,, maybe figure out how to get my drivers license and prepare for the written test. i'm the last out of my friends to get it and the butt of no drivers license jokes haha. i was supposed to get it last year but parents wanted to wait until covid restrictions eased More but it never happened! and now we are here. i didn't get it right when i could bc i never felt the need to get it, nor did the idea of driving really excite me? tbh the only time driving Does excites me is late night drives. many many times have i wanted to go on a drive to nowhere and clear my head,, that'd be nice to do once i get it :')) - 🌱

BUBBIEEEEEE PLS INDULGE ME HEH i love talking about the monstas at all time (esp kyun ofc lol) <3 IF U MAKE THE SMOOCHY COMPLIATION I WILL LOOK OUT FOR IT on the monstaxedits tag <33 but then maybe u won't be anon to me anymore ?? he talks the PERFECT pace of slow i think !!!! it's barely slow ..... maybe more calculated than slow?? he's trying to come up with the right words for the situation? eeee i love it :( ALSO YEAH I LISTENED TO IT A LOT :((( i know it sounds silly but gosh when i'm tired and he speaks like That it really knocks me out like a light SKDFJSL ; and yes ppl do tend to speak faster when they are nervous but !!!! honestly that's so normal ;___; so its okay <3

i'm okay today love !!! work is boring lol but i finally get paid for a full week on thursday :') last week i only got paid for the messy week i had coming from my week long holiday ;___; it's just nice to finally get paid in full SDKJF ... gosh being an adult really is just "how much am i getting paid this month" hhhhhh ; and oh my gosh !!!! driver's license how exciting !!! and no stress about when u get it either :) u do it when u can and when u feel ready !!!!!! the test is super easy lol i promise it's not bad :) fun fact even tho i got my permit + driver's license when everyone else did, i was the last one in my friend group to actually get a car :') and i still have it, it's not even mine technically !! it's my mom's old car hehe . honestly i see a lot of ppl say they are scared of driving but i absolutely love driving (partly bc i hate the way everyone else drives LOL) ; i am kind of a "aggressive when needed, defensive when needed" driver, my mom has taught me well i think LOL she's the best driver i know honestly :) i actually don't like driving at night bc m eyesight is poor but i really love longer drives, or drives to the grocery store; on weekends up at uni if i'm not studying for exams (which rarely happens) i like to drive with my really good friend about 30 mins to our favorite coffee shop <3 i really enjoy driving and maybe i'm weird but !!!!!! i hope u are able to get it soon, esp when u go up to uni bc having the freedom to leave campus and not having to rely on other ppl is a great feeling <3

#asks #🌱 anon #i feel like my response was all over the place lol i'm so sorry #i hope u are doing well today hun !!! glad u are relaxing !!!!!

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oops-prow-did-it-again · 3 years ago

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Some tips from someone who regularly drives 500+ miles a week in no particular order:

1. Smaller cars have a harder time seeing in the rain. The wheels of all of your giant fucking SUVs, pickups, big rigs, etc ALL kick water onto the windshield of smaller cars. Especially in older cars, even if it's not raining that hard, their windshield wipers straight up cannot keep up with all of that. ESPECIALLY on highways. SO STOP JUMPING DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF TINY CARS GOING 80MPH ON THE HIGHWAY IN THE RAIN you fucking assholes in semi trucks/jacked up trucks. It's not funny, it's not cute, you're stressing another human being just trying to live their life out. They're not going slower to try to torment you, nor is the fact they drive a smaller car an insult to your existence. They're just a person that happens to have a smaller car and happens to unfortunately need to share the road with you.

2. Cars with thinner wheels (most small passenger cars) WILL hydroplane in any amount of standing water. Especially the less tread they have. Most people are broke and don't give a shit about car maintenence and are riding on near bald tires. You are a brave motherfucker for being anywhere near a small passenger car when it is raining if there is standing water on the road.

3. YOUR BIG ASS CARS TAKE WAY LONGER TO STOP IN THE RAIN. Littler cars stop faster than you do, too!! Stay 4+ dashed lines at LEAST behind the car in front of you so if they have to stop suddenly, you have time to react. This is especially important on the highway where you can get seriously injured - and seriously injure others! - if you don't. I promise you, if you were late before, you're still gonna be late even if you speed, at least get there late and alive rather than permanently late (and maybe taking others with you).

4. WAIT BEFORE GOING AT GREEN LIGHTS IF IT'S RAINING. Sometimes, a car is very close to a stoplight when it turns yellow but can't stop in time for the line. This may be because they're getting tailgated and fear getting hit, it may be because they know they have bad brakes, it may be because they know they're on a decline and they just can't stop in time, it may be because they're carrying something delicate (an heirloom, a pet, idk) and don't want to risk slamming brakes and hurting it - whatever the reason, cars speed through red lights way more often when it's rainy. Especially bigger cars, as they can't stop as fast as smaller cars. So, LOOK before you go after the light turns green, even if it takes an extra second or two, to avoid getting seriously hurt. Yes, they should stop, but real life is messy and people aren't perfect. You and a stranger (and yours and their passengers) don't deserve to get into extreme pain, death, and/or debt bc of it. You're supposed to wait a couple seconds anyway, even when it isn't raining, but doubly so when it is.

5. Use your goddamn motherfucking BLINKERS. If your blinkers are broken, be mindful of that and don't just zip in front of people (re: you'll spray more water on their windshield and potentially blind them, not to mention you'll startle the driver which is REALLY BAD when it's raining). If you need to get over, put your blinker on even if there's no room. If nobody makes room, that's FINE. WAIT. If you REALLY, genuinely cannot wait, just try to be as safe about it as you can - but unless your turn is like 0.5 miles away, just wait. Eventually they'll pass, or someone will let you over. Everything will be okay. Just breathe.

6. DON'T USE CRUISE CONTROL WHEN IT'S RAINING. Cruise control is the enemy during rain. It doesn't know what it's doing. It's a stupid idiot. It will rocket up to whatever speed you set even when visibility and road conditions are constantly changing by the second. You don't want to rocket over a hill back to 60mph into standing water and hydroplane into a tree.

7. Please please please stop tailgating. Like, in general, but especially when it rains. If a car has to stop suddenly, just like I mentioned before, you will struggle to stop as fast as you would when it was dry. It takes way longer. Tailgating also stresses the driver in front of you out, and you out, since you have to constantly be even MORE mindful of your speed. Note that if you're driving a big car and the person in front of you is in a little car, you will LOOK like you're tailgating even if you're actually a reasonable distance behind - please give smaller cars more space. It decreases the driver's stress, they don't feel like they have to watch you. If you have a smaller car, and there's a bigger car in front of you, note that you have to get really close for them to notice (if they do), but that big cars throw tons of water onto your windshield during rain. Stay far behind them for that reason alone, tbh. Small on small cars, it's 50/50 - use your judgment, give each other space.

8. PLEASE STOP PASSING LIKE YOU'RE PLAYING FUCKING DODGEBALL. Bigger cars kick off so much windshear that they can actually PULL smaller cars with them!! Not to mention you're stressing the driver out! And you're being needlessly dangerous! See #4! Pass like a normal person! If you're already late, speeding won't help you, and unless someone is dying or your turn is less than 0.5 miles away, you do not need to tuck and roll through traffic!! I promise it's okay to wait a few extra seconds!!! THIS IS ESPECIALLY TRUE OF SEMI TRUCKS. FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING GOD. STOP JUMPING DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF MY 2K POUND SEDAN WITH LESS THAN 10 FEET OF CLEARANCE BETWEEN US YOU FUCKING LOONS.

9. Also. Also. Before any of you are like lolololol well just kill me - fuck you. I'm sorry you feel so badly about your life, but the other drivers on the road maybe don't want to die. If you drive like a maniac on the road, you're risking everyone's life, not just yours. And no, I don't just mean by killing them outright. If you maim them and they can't work and the disability system fucks them, then they could starve or die on the streets. If they survive but someone else in their car dies, say a loved one, a family pet, maybe their beloved late father gifted them that car you just destroyed - they could off themselves later. Car accidents are not just dangerous bc of the initial threat of death in an accident. They go far beyond that. It is not funny to imagine dying or getting maimed and getting a fat check out of it the other person be damned. It is not cute. It's not okay. Why are you okay with driving like others people's lives don't matter. If you genuinely feel like this, genuinely I urge you to think over whether all other drivers you may come into contact with deserve to feel the results of your feelings.

-sincerely, a very tired DoorDash driver from the east coast USA, owner of a gokart masquerading as a sedan that just wants to live

No offense but some of the people here drive like wild animals. What is wrong with you. Why are you going 10-15mph over the speed limit when it is pouring rain what the fuck is wrong with you

#rant #vent #carblr #driving #cars #driver #drivers

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theconservativebrief · 6 years ago

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In 2010, Chris and Melissa Bruntlett sold their cars and began transporting their family of four around Vancouver, BC, by bike. They noticed that bicyclists’ stories were not being told, so they started blogging about their carless lifestyle at the website of what would become their creative agency, Modacity.

Through cycling circles, they heard stories and saw pictures of cycling in Dutch cities, so they went to the Netherlands to check it out, visiting five cities to study cycling infrastructure, talk with local leaders, and share pictures, videos, and articles.

They ended up gathering enough material for a book, which was released Tuesday from Island Press: Building the Cycling City: The Dutch Blueprint for Urban Vitality. It’s a tour of Dutch bicycling culture that attempts to extract lessons that can be applied to other cities, including, yes, American cities.

I chatted with the Bruntletts by phone earlier this month about everything from how Dutch have taken the concept of the protected bike lane and applied it to the intersection to the amazing Dutch cycling skills courses for kids. We even covered why the right wing in the Netherlands has to support more spending on cycling. Our conversation has been edited for length and clarity.

David Roberts

The American stereotype of the Netherlands is that they’ve got it all figured out; they do everything right. But your book makes it clear that everybody was not always on the same page. There were political battles.

Chris Bruntlett

One of the things we heard repeatedly when we got back was, “That would never work here, our city’s different.” We would always say, “well, every Dutch city is different!”

Rotterdam, for example, was completely obliterated during the Second World War and rebuilt in this post-war, modernist image — designing cities around the automobile, where people would live outside the city, commute by car into the city every day, and everyone would have more light and space and air. They’d be living happily in the suburbs.

It didn’t take long for Rotterdammers to realize this wasn’t the future they wanted. The spaces they were building were inhospitable to walking and cycling and public transit. Cycling rates were plummeting. There were more road fatalities.

So, not just in Rotterdam, but in cities across the Netherlands in the ’70s, there was a real rejection of this car-centric urban planning.

Some of them resisted better than others. In Rotterdam, they managed to reverse the tide and retrofit some of these spaces for other modes of transportation. But certainly a lot of Dutch cities made mistakes. In Utrecht, they paved over canals. In Amsterdam, they came just a single city council vote away from demolishing the Jewish quarter of their city to build a four-lane motorway.

So their status as a cycling nation wasn’t always a given. It took a lot of hard work, a certain degree of stubbornness, and forward-thinking politicians to get where they are. And even then, you know, the margins were really, really tight.

Dutch cyclist. Modacity

David Roberts

The Dutch have this distinction between two kinds of cyclists that I thought was interesting.

Melissa Bruntlett

The Dutch have wielrennen, or “wheel runner” — the sporty view of cycling — and they have fietsen, which is just “someone on a bike.” When you talk to somebody in the Netherlands about what makes biking so special, most of them will say, “What are you even talking about? It’s no different than when I get on the train or go for a walk.” You’re no more a cyclist than you are a pedestrian or a driver or a public transit user.

Casual cyclists in the Netherlands. Modacity

David Roberts

In terms of bike infrastructure, I think most people in the US are primarily familiar with painted strips on the side of the road, those little “sharrows.” What are the practical elements of infrastructure that make it safe for, say, an elderly fietsen to go out biking in the Netherlands?

Chris Bruntlett

This is a critical point: The Dutch built environment treats people who ride bikes normally, everyday fietsen, with respect and dignity and gives them a wholly separate space to cycle.

So the Dutch design manual classifies roads depending on the speed of the cars traveling in them. If there’s any major difference in speed, then full separation is required — concrete barriers, a grass median, planter boxes, or bollards.

David Roberts

What is the speed threshold?

Chris Bruntlett

Anything where cars are traveling faster than 30 kph. So, what’s that, 19 mph?

Mixing is permitted on streets where the cars are traveling slower than that. But the volume of cars needs to be fairly low, so that the cyclist still feels comfortable traveling on those streets.

Melissa Bruntlett

In those shared spaces, it’s usually cobblestone, or raised crosswalks, speed bumps where they’re needed. It’s very clearly delineated that cars are guests in these spaces.

Cycle tracks are all paved with this easily identified red pavement, an inch-thick top coat of dyed red asphalt. It’s everywhere throughout the Netherlands — you know when you’re on a cycle track.

They’ll do raised cycle tracks when speeds don’t go above 50 kph (30 mph), and then on highways or motorways, it will be an adjacent pathway, again with that trademark red, but completely separated.

Modacity

David Roberts

Say a little bit about intersections. I’m morbidly interested in intersections.

Chris Bruntlett

It’s one area we criminally underlook in North America. We build these protected bike lanes (if they’re protected at all) and then in an intersection you’re stuck in no man’s land. That’s where the vast majority of collisions occur.

The Dutch have taken the concept of the protected bike lane and carried it through the intersection. More often than not, there is physical protection on the corners where there’s cars turning right or left. There’s often mid-block protection provided as well, so that you don’t feel exposed. The raised cycle track is also carried through the intersection. Through design, they’ve made the cycle track a priority — visually and physically.

The cars know that they are to look out for bikes. They are treated almost as guests in the city, which is a complete 180 from how we function here in North America.

David Roberts

And you write that there are all-way, no-signs intersections?

Melissa Bruntlett

One of the things they started testing in the city of Groningen — which is in the north, and has some of the highest rates of cycling in the entire country — is having intersections where the cars have to wait and there’s a bicycle-only signal. You have bikes turning in six different directions, all moving at the same time, from every corner.

It sounds completely counterintuitive, but when we experienced it, it’s really just a matter of making eye contact. Everything is done through visual clues. We traveled through that intersection easily a dozen times during our trip there, with our children, and never once experienced any sort of collision. Maybe a couple of frustrated Dutch people because we were riding too slowly!

This kind of mixed-used design, with no setback, is illegal almost everywhere in US cities. Modacity

David Roberts

I taught my kids to ride bikes, but there’s no real system set up for them to get education in it, and not that many safe places to ride. What do Dutch kids experience early on, in terms of bikes?

Melissa Bruntlett

The concept of cycling starts getting introduced to a lot of kids in preschool. They’ll run around on these push bikes. But the biggest education — while it’s not mandatory throughout the country, it’s done by most schools — is students around grade four or five, in the 10 and 11 age range, start taking cycling skills courses.

Between the ages of 11 and 12 they have to take a written exam to show that they understand the rules of the road. They also do a practical exam. So, every year, dozens or hundreds of Dutch students go out onto the street and travel on their routes to get to school, on a designated pathway. The Fietsersbond, which is their national cycling advocacy group, puts the kids right in real life situations, navigating their streets, knowing when to turn, how to signal, where to stop.

After they complete this practical exam, they get a certificate saying, “I successfully passed the cycling skills program and can now responsibly ride through my city on my own.” It’s kinda neat.

Wee Dutch fietsen. Modacity

David Roberts

How do bikes fit in with public transit in the Netherlands?

Chris Bruntlett

As Marco te Brömmelstroet, a professor at the University of Amsterdam, explained to us, the bike alone doesn’t replace the private automobile, and neither does public transit, but when you combine the two, that’s when the magic happens. Then the car becomes redundant in cities.

The Dutch use bikes as a tool to feed their transit system: 50 percent of all trips that take place on the transit system in the Netherlands begin with a bicycle ride.

It serves two goals. It increases the size of the catchment area for each station, so it’s feeding more customers into the public transit system. And it gives people a variety of options; they’re not dependent on one particular trip.

It’s creating this virtuous circle of sustainable transportation, where they have more people riding transit because the infrastructure is built to reach the stations. Cycling plays an important first-mile, last-mile role on these longer trips that may be 10, 15, 20 kilometers. That’s where you see replacement of car trips in cities: by capturing those mid-to-long trips.

Melissa Bruntlett

And they’ve also introduced the OV-Fiets, a rental bike, which is providing the last-mile solution. So 50 percent of people are coming to the station with their bike. They take their train, and on the other end, historically, they didn’t have anything to get them from the station to their next point of destination.

Now anyone who has their OV-chipkaart — the transit tap card they use for bus, trains, trams, and these OV-Fiets bikes — can pick up a bike from the train station, for €3.50 for every 24-hour period. They can have that bike all day, take it back to the train station, get on a train, and go back home to their other bike, all in one seamless trip.

Very multi-modal. Modacity

The National Rail [NV Nederlandse Spoorwegen] and ProRail, which are the two organizations managing this, have found in surveys that it’s actually replacing car trips, because people have an option at the other end. Unfortunately, they’ve been victims of their own success and can’t seem to keep up with the demand. They never have enough bikes!

David Roberts

Did you see one of those giant automated bike garages the Dutch are famous for?

Chris Bruntlett

One of the more spectacular products of this bike-train system is this sea of bicycles you see at any train station in the Netherlands. Step out of Amsterdam’s Grand Central — they had to build [a bike garage] over the canal because of the thousands and thousands of people that cycle to the train station every day.

Because of Utrecht’s size and location in the country, it is ground zero for this bike-train connection. They’re in the process of building something like 30,000 bike parking spots in the next 10 years. One such facility is 12,500 spaces. When it opens, either late this year or early next year, it will be the biggest bike-parking facility in the world.

Seas of bikes. Modacity

David Roberts

In the book, you stress the difference in Dutch bikes themselves. How are they different from US bikes?

Melissa Bruntlett

The first thing is, when the Dutch go into a shop to buy a bike, they’re buying a complete bicycle. Oftentimes in North America when we go into a bike shop, there’s a bike, but there’s no fenders, lights, racks, kickstand, bell, any of that kind of stuff. In the Netherlands, they don’t sell incomplete bikes because they need it to be practical.

There, everyone, save maybe a small percentage of the population, rides these Dutch-style bikes, as they’ve come to be known (even though their origins are in England). You’re seated in an upright position, almost like you’re sitting on a stool or a chair. You’re forced to interact with people, because you can see them clearly. It just helps to breed that relaxed way of cycling. They don’t have to stress about looking up every time they have to turn. Signaling is a breeze. They’re largely single speed.

Chris Bruntlett

We make a differentiation between the hunched-and-helmeted cyclist and the upright, bare-headed cyclist. Upright, everyday cycling, a form of walking-with-wheels, is far more broad, inclusive, accessible, and appealing to people of all ages and fitness levels. It isn’t just about getting from A to B as quickly as possible, it’s about enjoying the ride.

An upright, unhelmeted Dutch rider. Modacity

David Roberts

In US cycling culture, bikes themselves — the materials, the brands — are often somewhat fetishized. Is that true in the Netherlands?

Melissa Bruntlett

Not at all. Most of them will ride their bike until it falls apart. Their bikes are meant to be workhorses to last through all seasons, all kinds of beatings, because they live out on the street.

Most people we met still have their road bike that is lightweight, super-fast, clipped shoes, and all that, but that’s their weekend bike, when they go out and go for long rides, for sport and fitness. But the everyday bike, I mean, the image that most people have is of this black, beat up, vintage-looking Dutch bike — and that is literally what most of them ride around.

David Roberts

The Dutch don’t wear bike helmets. How safe is it to ride a bike in the Netherlands?

Chris Bruntlett

We — like you — live in a place where helmets have been mandated by law, because they’ve been accepted as a commonsense safety device, normal as a seatbelt. But the Dutch show that [for them], safety in infrastructure, safety in slowing cars, and safety in numbers are all far more important than safety in body armor.

David Roberts

Yeah, the US approach seems to be to up-armor the cyclist so that cars don’t have to change.

Look Ma, no helmet! Modacity

Chris Bruntlett

Exactly.

Less than 0.5 percent of Dutch cyclists wear helmets, which is one in 200 people on bikes. And that’s really just the sport cyclists. Virtually everybody else, from children to old people, doesn’t even think about helmets. It’s just not present in their culture, because they’ve ultimately decided that it’s far more important to build this culture of everyday cycling, and to build safe streets, instead of requiring people to protect themselves.

David Roberts

The Netherlands seems to be getting serious about long-distance bike corridors — bike highways. Are those getting used?

Melissa Bruntlett

For sure.

For decades, the Dutch have had a country-wide network of bicycle trails. You can get from one city to another on a bike, no matter the distance. You could travel the whole country by bike if you wanted to.

But what they started to realize in recent years is that, while that infrastructure exists, it isn’t very well-connected. So now they’re trying to find ways to make it a viable transportation option, an alternative to taking the motorway between two cities.

The greatest opportunity these are providing is for people in the growing e-bike market. You can travel further without having to break a sweat, and get from city to city on a very convenient, continuous path.

The one we talk about in the book is the RijnWaalpad, which connects the city of Arnhem with the city of Nijmegen, about 14 to 15 kilometers. At no point on that trip do you ever have to put your foot down. You ride continuously, uninterrupted.

David Roberts

How are e-bikes and electric scooters and electric mopeds fitting into Dutch bike culture?

Chris Bruntlett

The thing the Dutch have done well is classify these electric vehicles. Again, it comes down to the speed they’re capable of traveling. Regular e-bikes are speed-limited to [19 mph]. As long as you don’t exceed that speed, you’re able to use the regular bike infrastructure.

If the bike is capable of going faster than that, it must utilize the streets and act like a car. There’s insurance requirements, licensing requirements, helmet mandates for those machines.

With the e-bike and electromobility in general, they’ve shown in the Netherlands, that they’re getting people to make better choices around personal transportation. They’re more likely to take their e-bike or scooter than an Uber or a taxi, or even the public transit system.

That little electric boost provides additional psychological help, and to encourage them to ride longer distances. So we are champions of electromobility, within reason. Cities still need to carefully regulate and react to the changes — I don’t think anybody foresaw, for example, the scooter disruption that’s happened on our streets.

It takes all sorts (of bikes) in the Netherlands. Modacity

David Roberts

Some US cities have had to deal with an anti-bike lobby. Does that kind of sentiment or political force even exist at all in the Netherlands any more? Is there anyone pushing back?

Chris Bruntlett

Not that I’m aware. We had conversations with politicians there and they made it perfectly clear: Even the right-wing in the Netherlands has to support more spending on cycling.

David Roberts

Because of public pressure, public opinion?

Chris Bruntlett

Exactly. It’s not a tenable or realistic position to win an election when probably 80 percent of the population cycles at least once a week.

That’s not to say they aren’t also undermining the cause by building car parking and the like.

David Roberts

So, pro-bike is settled, but anti-car maybe is not?

Chris Bruntlett

The Dutch still love their cars. They drive miles and miles, as much as neighboring countries. They’re having the same conversations as we are around the allocation of space, because they built all this space for cycling and it started to fill up. Now they’re trying to push for more space for cycling, and the exact same argument is being made, around loss of parking, loss of vehicle lanes. Here, we’re just arguing for any space,

David Roberts

So it never ends? Every bit you take away from cars is a battle, forever?

Chris Bruntlett

Exactly.

Original Source -> No helmets, no problem: how the Dutch created a casual biking culture

via The Conservative Brief

#IFTTT #The Conservative Brief

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