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nariism · 1 year ago

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i don’t dance!

pair. pro-player!ushijima x PR manager!reader

content: fluff, reader is his VERY TIRED PR manager who really deserves a raise, weak attempts at humour, no pronouns used for reader

synopsis. you need to teach ushijima how to waltz

wc: 2.2k

a/n: i eat the “teach me how to dance” trope up for breakfast, lunch and dinner. (also yes i absolutely did use a high school musical song as the title who’s gonna stop me)

ushijima wakatoshi is what people typically refer to as emotionally unavailable.

he just doesn’t have the time to worry about trivial things like romance or feelings or anything of the sort. not while he’s trying to keep up with his rigorous training schedule on top of countless interviews and photo shoots that you, his wonderful PR manager, generously offer to help him prepare for.

it’s no surprise that this man - 6 feet and almost 4 inches of pure heart throb material - has yet to find a partner worth keeping around. not that he hadn’t had one night stands, per say, but being emotionally available for a committed relationship isn’t something he has on his mind right now.

although he isn’t exactly the type to be nitpicky about this kind of stuff, he does come off as cold if you don’t know him well enough (unintentionally, of course). people who he welcomes into his life simply find him too busy or too severe in his mannerisms to form proper relationships. thus, his friend group is kept tight, extending almost exclusively to members of the japanese national team.

ushijima keeps to himself and minds his own business. he doesn’t speak until spoken to, unless he has some opinion about other volleyball players you have to thwart. he doesn’t make a fuss about insignificant things. he respects his elders and works hard in every aspect of his life that involves his career. words are kept short and to the point, never sugar coated and he certainly never lies.

he specifically remembers one scenario in which an adoring fan had come up to him after a game while you were distracted with the press, and they had confessed their undying love to him much to his horror.

“could you leave me alone?” he had told them bluntly when they asked if he could please dm them on twitter, and you nearly died on the spot when the cameras all turned to the pair behind you. it was a horribly busy week for you, playing the role of damage control all while ushijima remained completely indifferent to the storm that was brewing on social media around his name and how he was trending for two whole days after the fact.

thankfully, the fan had gratefully accepted a bouquet of flowers ‘courtesy of ushijima’ (which he also almost vehemently denied online before you smacked him upside the head), and all was forgiven. it even made him trend for a couple days longer, but this time with everyone singing his praises. he should give you more credit where it’s due, because being a PR manager for someone so terrible at smiling for the camera is like hell on earth.

you had told him once that it was important to keep a good rapport with his fans, even if they were more forward with their advances than he was used to back in high school. he looked at you funny until you continued: “i’m not saying you should go off and date anyone who confesses to you, but could you at least be a little nicer?!” sounding extremely exasperated.

he didn’t even end up agreeing with you, too distracted by the way your lips moved while you scolded him to pay you his full attention.

“tonight’s the gala. everyone will be there.”

“i know.”

“so why,” you hiss out the words through grit teeth, jaw tense as you pinch the bridge of your nose, “are you standing outside my house when you should be getting ready?”

he’s silent for a moment. you glance up to make sure he’s actually still standing there being stupidly handsome and that you’re not just dreaming he is. ushijima averts his gaze awkwardly, hands in his pockets as he contemplates whether or not he should say what’s on his mind and risk having you slam the door in his face in frustration.

(it’s happened before; once, when he told you he was the top reply on a post for asking what “smash” means and why everyone was commenting it under all his instagram photos. you slammed the door in his face then, too, but he could still hear you erupt into laughter from the other side much to his confusion.)

you’re looking at him expectantly, with a brow raised and your lips pursed as you wait for an explanation.

“it’s a gala.”

you close your eyes and take a deep breath, patience wearing thin. “i know, wakatoshi. i just said that.”

“it’s a gala, so...” he huffs, “i have to dance, don’t i?”

you look up again at his words, confusion written all over your face. you’re in the middle of getting ready yourself, dressed to the nines. not as his date, of course, though he’d asked you.

(“what did you just say?”

“why can’t you just come with me? it would save you the trouble of getting the extra ticket. it’s not like i’m taking anyone else.”

“i can’t- that’s-... it’s unprofessional.”

“oh. i see.”)

you take the opportunity to scrutinize his outfit, as your eyes always end up doing. you’re always observing him closely, hoping and praying he doesn’t do or say something that will get him cancelled. in his defense, he’s gotten better at keeping his mouth shut when he knows you’re sitting there stressed to all hell about what you’ll need to apologize for on his behalf that week.

not that he would ever admit it out loud, but he likes the attention a little bit. enjoys being fussed over, since he spends most of his time isolated save for the members of his team. and it’s not like you’re very secretive about your judgment of him. it’s your job, for one, but there’s an undeniable and genuine worry in your eyes every time he says something he shouldn’t. he thinks it’s fine that he indulges in your presence just a bit, especially since people have found him intimidating his whole life. it’s nice to talk to someone who isn’t afraid to stand up to him once in a while.

you sigh quietly. “yes, you’ll have to dance. why?” you open the door wider for him, a gesture he’s familiar with equating to come in. “you’re not planning on bailing ‘cause of that, are you?”

he watches as you retreat further into your house, probably to fix your hair one last time before you head out early. you always arrive to these sorts of events earlier than he does, and always in a separate car. you were insistent that he arrive either alone or with his own date, since it would reduce the risk of scandals questioning your seemingly close relationship with each other.

close is not the word either you nor ushijima would use to describe your feelings toward one another. sure, you were the one helping to manage his schedule even though the job description did not at all entail that, and you’re the one keeping him in line with the media. he even has you over sometimes for dinner after an especially long day. but no, you’re not close. work acquaintances at best.

“no, i’m not bailing,” he tells you as he trails behind, following you to the mirror in the hallway - the one hung up above a high table littered with trinkets from past events and some photos of you and your friends and family. you look at him with a quizzical expression through the mirror.

“then?”

he stands rigidly behind you. the thought that it feels strangely domestic with you getting ready in front of him like this crosses his mind, and makes him grossly warm and fuzzy inside.

“i don’t know how to dance.”

you pause in your ministrations, hair that you meant to pin up falling back over your eyes as you stare at him with bewilderment. “you what?”

“i don’t know how to dance,” he repeats, though you heard him perfectly fine the first time.

“you... don’t know how to... dance...” you sound out the sentence slowly, hoping that you possibly misheard him. to your horror, he only nods in confirmation.

in your one year, three months and twenty-two days of working with ushijima, how could it have never once dawned on you that this 6 foot monster of a volleyball player doesn’t know how to do something as elegant as a waltz?

it’d never been a problem before. most events don’t include anything of the sort, and all the events you do attend with ushijima are to give out awards or give esteemed recognition to MVPs. but for a christmas gala, there will definitely be booze and partying and absolutely dancing involved.

for a second, he thinks you’ll keel over and place your head into your hands on the table like you usually do in these situations, or that you’ll start muttering curse words to yourself, or maybe you’ll scold him some more for never learning. but much to his (pleasant) surprise, you just laugh. and laugh. and keep laughing, until there are tears in your eyes. his poor heart can’t take it.

“what?” he asks, almost sounding offended. but his expression is still stone cold as you look back up at him, turning to face him this time. his breath hitches when the action causes a whiff of your expensive body spray to waft in his direction.

“i just wasn’t expecting you to say that,” you muse. he knows what you really mean is that you’re surprised he isn’t here causing trouble for you before this event like he always does, complaining like a child that he doesn’t see the point of attending. “why didn’t you just say so? it’s easy. i’ll show you.”

he stares at you momentarily while you stand there, hand outstretched as an offer to take it. he half expects you to yank it back and laugh in his face, more cruelly this time, but you just smile at him with the slightest tilt of your head. you sound so genuine that any hesitation left in his body melts away, and he awkwardly accepts your hand and waits for your guidance.

he’s stiff as a board as you pull his hands where they need to go, one resting on your hip and the other hanging in the air for you to take. “i’ll teach you how to lead first, okay?” he can only nod in response. you step forward once with your left, urging him to step back with your timing. then you’re shuffling over, gliding along the floor with ushijima trying his damndest to follow along, and then your feet meet again in a different spot.

he grunts quietly in concentration, watching your movements carefully and clumsily trying to catch up. it’s a simple enough motion, but he’s too big and it feels clunky to do this for the first time. you seem deeply amused by his confusion, and he glares at you quickly before his eyes are back on the floor.

“now you try. we can go slow,” your voice is soft. encouraging. so unlike your usual stern demeanor with him. “step forward.”

ushijima does so obediently, sliding his left forward to the best of his memory.

“good. now your right goes to the side and the left follows.”

he listens to you again, but his gait is much larger than you anticipated, and your back hits the table behind you with a gentle thud. he mutters something along the lines of an apology, but he seems too focused to realize the compromising position he’s put you in. you smile at him anyways, rotating around 90 degrees to give you more space to move.

“now again in the opposite direction.”

“this is too complicated.”

“this is the easiest motion...”

“i don’t like it.”

“you gonna keep complaining or are you going to dance with me?”

he stops in his tracks, boring into you with intensity in his eyes. you watch his adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallows. “...what’s wrong?”

ushijima just shakes his head, and then his feet are moving again as he tugs you along clumsily. “nothing. but maybe you should be my dance partner for the rest of tonight.” you raise a brow at him in question, even though you can feel the heat rising in your face and all the way to the tips of your ears. he clears his throat, looking away. “wouldn’t want any bad press about my terrible dancing,” he quickly adds.

this gets a laugh out of you. “as your PR manager, i don’t think that’s the kind of negative press i’m supposed to be getting you out of.”

“and as a friend?”

another laugh, a little breathless. “yeah, yeah. fine. as your friend i’ll make sure no one knows how awful you are at this.”

he blinks down at you, unsure if he’s ever seen you so relaxed before. you’re always so high-strung about work and keeping his name clear. there’s a softness gracing your face right now and he doesn’t know how to handle himself or his racing heart.

okay, yeah. maybe he can try and be a little nicer to his fans to see you like this more often.

EXTRA:

#— whispers in the wind ✧#um yea idk what this is #but hope you enjoyed #haikyuu #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #ushijima wakatoshi #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #ushijima wakatoshi x y/n #ushijima wakatoshi x you #haikyu x reader #haikyuu fluff

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ecofmaster · 4 months ago

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Making actually good updates to Clash Royale every day until Supercell fixes their stupid game

I wanted to do this one early because this needs a LOT of attention

Day 3: The Shop

The shop is really stupid. It's just a bombardment of dogshit offers, one tiny free reward, and some trade offers that are almost always a waste of a trade token. But that is about to change.

First off, the layout is dumb. This may come off as a bit nitpicky but I don't want to school for five minutes every time I want to collect my free cards of golden chest. Just move the money related offers to the bottom, it's not a big change, but it'll be just that tiny bit better for most, if not all players.

Speaking of the shop offers, most of them are so absurd it's funny. Remember when you could get a book of books along with a bunch of other rewards in the Pass Royale for only 5 bucks? Well now the book of books alone is worth 20 DOLLARS WTF. I haven't spent a cent on this game, but even I understand how stupidly outrageous that is. Not only do we need to lower the price of ALL of the shop offers, but we could also make more shop offers use gems instead of money. I noticed the other day that I hit 2000 gems because i was saving for a legendary king's chest, but it didn't seem that appealing to get mostly junk I dont need for 2500 gems, so I just bought a bunch of elite wild cards instead (a literal FRACTION of a SINGLE level up btw). Having more gem offers will bring incentive to save gems, besides getting elite wild cards. If you want something for a specific card that has something going on right now (say an evolution) you could use your gems on that, because that could be a bigger priority to you than wild cards. A spender could still buy some gems and then buy the shop offer if they really wanted to, but if they had enough gems saved up, they wouldn't need to. This could help those offers be better, because tbh the only people buying these are YouTubers or people who want to keep a maxed account at all times.

Speaking of non-money shop offers, the current gold and gem offers are trash. I already talked about the wild card offers which are all complete scams, but you have to buy them to have level 15, which at this point, is a necessary in a lot of situations. It's underwhelming for the price you have to pay to get it, overwhelming for the opponents you play against that don't have it, and is in general very stupid. It would be best to just half the cost of all these offers and the amount of wild cards used per each level up, and call it a day. It's a lazy solution, yes, but probably the best one in this case. The gold and gem offers though, need other changes. Yes, getting more bang for your buck could also be added here, but that wouldn't really help that much because who in their right mind is buying these things. I mean sure, there COULD be an offer you want, but that only happens once every blue moon. But it could be better if there was an increased chance in getting offers for cards in your deck. If you somehow didn't know already, Clash Royale records the deck you use, so it probably wouldn't be too hard to add a feature where the cards in your deck had higher chances of being in shop offers. There wouldn't be a single soul who wouldn't like that change, I guarantee.

Also please make the free stuff a bit better. It doesn't have to be big, but 1500 gold is NOTHING.

And finally we have the trades. I think we can give these the same treatment as the f2p currency offers by just upping the chances of cards in your deck to be in the receiving side of a trade offer.

Shop fixed.

I'm better than Supercell

#supercell #clash royale #fan idea #this game needs to be fixed goddammit

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kdramacrybaby · 2 years ago

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“I knew from the start that I’d lose”.

And see, this is why I hate love triangles so much.

(Though I do just want to add that he so far hasn’t ended up being a sensitive prick about it and instead is quite mature over the fact that she doesn’t like him back.)

But back to my main point - “lose”?! It’s not a game where you win a prize. This is a woman with real feelings who has been pretty much pressured from two sides by dudes who spent a lot of time competing with each other instead of actually just… like being with her? Trying to “beat each other to it” to be the one to confess first as if that means they automatically win?

Again, this is one of the better love triangles I have seen, but man it really just brings the drama down a few points immediately.

Also, yes I know I’m being nitpicky about this and it’s not supposed to be that serious all these comments they make / the “competition” between the two guys. But I just don’t like it.

Why was this necessary to the drama? There was no need for this love triangle at all. Gong could maybe have gotten a little jealous over their friendship or whatever once, but please just find something else to ‘spice it up’.

It even seems like they’re actually teasing another one between the Si-deok, Yoo-seong and Ho-young… like why? Just pick ONE DAMMIT.

I would rather have watched an hour more of Gong being stupidly in love and doing dumb things trying to confess with Han-byul being painfully oblivious, than having to sit through another love triangle just like every other rom com.

It’s not cute. It’s been done so many times now. Can we please move on to something now?

#shooting stars #sh**ting stars #drama rant #stars rant #kdrama #sorry but i just really needed to let it out #because it’s genuinely the only thing bothering me about this drama #like right now the two of them are being awkward as fuck over the phone and it’s SO PAINFULLY CUTE #give me more like that

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nobody-wants-ice-cream · 5 years ago

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Everything Wrong With The Umbrella Academy. Episode 4, Man on the Moon.

We Only See Each Other at Weddings and Funerals

Run Boy Run

Extra Ordinary

Disclaimer: This is all in good fun! I wanted to do a really nitpicky re-watch of the series and found some really cool and interesting things I didn’t notice before. This is meant to have a Cinema Sins-esque tone. However, I did take off a lot more sins than Cinema Sins would have because I do genuinely like the series and the people that made it possible. So all of the good things got one sin off and all the bad things got one sin added. This is a really long post, so grab some popcorn. If there’s anything that I missed, feel free to add it!

I would also like to add, that normally you wouldn’t watch a show this way. I am purposefully looking for mistakes, easter eggs, and other things that we’re not supposed to notice. To be honest, I am seeing a lot of the things I’m pointing out for the first time because I am watching not with the goal of entertainment, but for analysis.

Man on the Moon

Tom Hopper’s workout routine. -1

What was Luther holding in his hand? A lighter? A toy? I can’t tell. It’s weird that they put something there at all. +1

Klaus knocked down the wall between his and Vanya’s rooms. That was the one thing in the house that said Vanya ever lived there and he destroyed it. +2

However, Klaus’s room looks really, really cool. Set designers, you win this one. -1

The bike. I have questions about that bike. When did Luther get it? Or did it belong to all the children? Sinning because no way Reggie would buy Luther a bike. Or give one to the children. +1

The shot following Luther directly gave me a bit of motion sickness. +1

Netflix subtitles have Reginald saying “Attention, Master Luther” when it is clearly Pogo. +1

“Mission alert” +1

Everyone else is gone! Luther has no backup. Reggie is a dick to Luther. +1

I know I should have mentioned this in the last episode, but Reggie put five young children in leather catsuits. Potentially six, but we never see Five in one. And he still makes Luther wear it as an adult! +6

Luther never leaves the house and keeps going on missions for Reggie because of a sense of responsibility. I can understand that. -1

However, Reggie was the one who fostered that in Luther. He made Luther think that he was responsible for saving the city, when in reality that’s up to law enforcement officers. +3

Why didn’t Luther go to a real hospital? Did Reggie take him home? How did Luther end up back in the Academy after that mission? +1

Was Luther dead? Reggie feels for his pulse and says “dammit”. Did the ape serum bring him back to life? +1

How long was Luther on that table? We see him with a beard in episode one, but it isn’t as crazy as this one. Also, does Luther bleach his hair now, or what? I am confused by Luther now being a brunette with impressive facial hair. +1

Tom Hopper nails ‘dawning horror and shock at now being an ape’. -1

Pop goes the weasel. +1

Who wound that box and placed it there? And why? The only other people there are Reggie, Grace, and Pogo. No way they did something so cruel and juvenile after permanently disfiguring him. +1

The umbrella the monkey-in-the-box suddenly has the title when it didn’t earlier. +1

“There’s something you have to see”. Yes Allison, continue to be vague. I’m sure Luther will appreciate it. Why not “I think the assassins killed Mom. Come take a look.” Is it because that would have been too logical? +1

Luther is still calling her “Grace”. +1

“Poor Diego. I mean this is gonna be so hard on him”. Choke on that irony, everyone. +1

“I don’t wanna discuss it”. This family. Allison said the same thing about Claire moments before telling Luther everything. Parallels. +1

Vanya spent the night at Leonard’s house. Sigh. +1

“For one day I’ll think you’ll be fine”. What makes you think that, Leonard? +1

Vanya takes one sip of her coffee and never touches it again. Leonard doesn’t even drink his. What is the point of the damn coffee? +1

“When I was a kid I felt like I had to apologize for even breathing.” Reggie is a dick. +7

“I don’t think my Dad ever forgave me for being born” foreshadowing patricide. +1

Vanya and Leonard talk in front of the Icarus Theatre. Comics fans, you know why that’s significant. +1

Helen doesn’t acknowledge Vanya’s greeting like a normal human being. +1

People are already tuning, Vanya! Get your ass in the theatre so you can do the same! +1

Leonard is stupidly charming. I hate that he’s sort of likable, but it makes sense for what they’re using him for. +1

The kidnapping of Klaus Hargreeves. +4

Klaus is too kinky to tourture. -1

Where is that blood on his chest coming from? +1

Ten hours of tourture! Fuck you show for making Klaus go though that. +10

“He’s a freak like his brother”. Which one? You met Luther and Diego. And they presumably know Five through the Commission. But which one is the freak into kinky shit? Diego? +1

“Remember Trinidad”. Noodle incident. (if you don’t know what that is google Noodle incident TV Tropes)+1

This motel has a surprising amount of towels in the bathroom. Some of the nicer places I’ve stayed don’t have that many. +1

Patch lives in house 204. “2” and “4”. Hmmm. +1

Does Diego show up on Patch’s doorstep being emo often? +1

Why is she still thinking about the 1938 fingerprint? We know that it’s plausible because of Five, but the police department should have thrown that out. It doesn’t make any sense and fingerprints can be alike. +1

She mentions the 30s cold case and Diego starts to look up in recognition. Even if he doesn’t know about the Commission or the Apocalypse, he does know about Five’s ability to time travel. He even mentions “The Boy”. Diego thinks that it was Five based on the fingerprint and his examination of the two crime scenes. -1

“For once, just try things my way”. Foreshadowing. +1

Diego hasn’t bothered to clean up the blood on his face from last night. Weirdo. +1

Allison is already forming a plan to kick Leonard’s ass the moment she sees his silhouette. Good. -1

Also, not the first time the audience has seen Leonard creeping around. Remember when he stole the journal? +1

Allison takes him down easy. Character moment showing that her superhero training hasn’t left her. Also, Allison is a badass. -1

Allison sees right through Leonard. This scene is excellent. -1

Lance has a really cute dog. -1

After seeing the shady deal while tailing Meritech, Five decides to tail Lance instead of just watching the building. Good job, Five. -1

How do you bill insurance companies for fake things? You need an insurance ID or SSN to have a patient. Where does Lance get these fake numbers from? +1

Why are eyeballs such a hot commodity? +1

“Names and numbers and I need it NOW” Five is scary. -1

Five jumped into the seatbelt. Did his powers secure it for him? +1

Five has a really organized desk. I wish I could read what he labeled the binders. +1

Luther decided to search Five’s room for clues. Pogo would be excellent at cinema sins. +1

For all we make fun of Diego’s stupid outfit, just remember, comics Diego has an even stupider one. This is the stupidity turned down. +1

The labels are now upside down on the binders when they were right side up in the last shot. +1

Either Five was a really good artist, or Reggie let Five have a poster above his bed that didn’t feature the academy. No explanation is given. +1

Five’s wallpaper depicts a boy pulling a mannequin in a wagon. -1

Luther punches a hole in Five’s wardrobe. This is never mentioned again. +1

“When you watch those nature shows does it turn you on?” Diego is a dick. +1

If you look really closely, you can see something that looks suspiciously like the ending to Apocalypse suite in Five’s room as a piece of art taped to the wall. I checked with the comics. It looks very, very similar. -1

There are two cylindrical things on the wall. One on Five’s wall and one we can see through the doorway on the wall across from Five’s room. What is it? Nightlight? Loudspeaker? Alarm? +1

Ben Hargreeves enters the chat. -1

“Stay calm, Klaus” stay calm. +1

Hazel and Cha Cha spent over 10 hours beating the crap out of Klaus but they didn’t think of the training manual, something Cha Cha clearly has memorized, until now. +1

When did they grab his coat? Klaus was wearing nothing but a towel. Did Hazel decide to grab it on a whim? +1

“Asthma medication”. Klaus is still coherent enough to come up with an okay lie after 10 hours of tourture. +1

“Amputee hookers”. Nice call back to the comics. -1

Hazel and Cha Cha don’t hear Klaus say “not until they're high as kites” when responding to Ben. +1

“Klaus, be strong”. Ben’s facial expression was really weird with this line. +1

Klaus cracks after 10 hours of tourture while going through withdrawal. Impressive. -1

The multi-screen effects look really cool. -1

Watching Hazel and Cha Cha burn down Meritech while high as kites amuses me. -1

Watching this later while knowing that Meritech doesn’t really matter means that I don’t really care about this building. I wish there was something to make this more interesting instead of just making the eye a red herring. Leonard hasn’t lost an eye yet, so it doesn’t matter. +1

What were Hazel and Cha Cha dancing to in universe? Was this song playing on the radio or something?? +1

Luther goes through the door that’s too small for him because he’s Number One and Diego goes through the door that would actually accommodate Luther’s size. +1

Vanya’s book should be way more beat up than that if it survived the literal apocalypse with Five for 45 years. The ink looks too fresh, too. Unless this is another, newer copy of Extra Ordinary? Sin for confusion. +1

Five got way too close to that explosion. Five survives this without injury. +1

We see him lying amongst the shrapnel for crying out loud! +1

Gossip magazines. “We’re doing fine!” +1

Tween Hit is still a popular magazine seventeen years later. -1

“Vanya, she’s gone” is the vaguest wording ever. +1

However, Vanya understands this. Sin on the writers. +1

“It was those psychopaths last night” weird delivery. Allison’s tone is off. +1

Does Vanya not have any students other than Leonard? She’s perfectly free on some random afternoon so she can have a drink with Allison. +1

Hazel and Cha Cha coming down from their high. -1

Cha Cha hates doughnuts. +1

Reginald Hargreeves put his eight year old son in what amounted to a tourture chamber so he would stop being afraid. Reggie is a dick. +8

Why is Ben stuck in the closet with Klaus? +1

The cleaning lady (her name is Claudia, according to a card she leaves) has one of her ears uncovered. She totally would have been able to hear him. +1

Callback to the screw Hazel threw away to remind the audience that it’s important. -1

Ben’s whiny bullshit. Now is not the time, asshole. +2

We know why the dog ear is important, but why would Patch? At this point it’s a random piece of fabric that might look like something she saw on surveillance footage (Cha Cha’s mask). Point is, that could be something from Meritech and not necessarily urgent. +1

Patch gets the message intended for Five about Klaus. When Diego thinks that the missing brother is Five and that’s who he meant when he was talking to her. Choke on that irony and miscommunication. +1

This show is shot like a comic book and I love it. -1

“That’s what you do when you’re 17” in this specific circumstance, yes. In others, not so much. You don’t have to leave when you’re 17. +1

Luther calls out Diego for not being a real grown up while also not being a real grown up himself. +1

Diego asks “You ever even been with a girl”. Diego is a dick. +1

“We’re orphans again, dude”. When were you ever orphans? Sin for the writers for writing this or to Reggie for making them believe that they were regular orphans he adopted legitimately instead of buying. +1

“Do you ever stop talking. Wow that was easy.” I wheezed.-1

Five is drunk in the library with Dolores with equations scribbled all over the place. No one stopped him when he started writing on the walls in sharpie. +1

Five has two bottles of hard liquor with him. +2

“Drunk as a skunk” +1

The comedic timing of Five’s hand letting go of the bottle. -1

“Jerk off on your Mr. Snuggles teddy bear”. First of all, eww. Second of all, yeah, Vanya these are all valid points she’s making. You just met this dude! +1

“But sometimes men are unredeemable shits” yeah. Sin for men and for the fact that Vanya doesn’t know this. +1

“Yay sisters” -1

What are Allison and Vanya drinking? Seriously, what are their drinks of choice? It looks like Vanya has something like a gin and tonic or a vodka soda and Allison has a rum and coke, but I can’t really tell. This is a sin until I know for sure. +1

That is a lot of extra blood on Klaus with no explanation. +1

Draw Ben like one of your French girls, Klaus. -1

“Is your brother here now.” “You’re gonna have to be a little more specific on that” -1

Ben’s wink. -1

Reggie is a dick to his adopted children. +7

Torturing a literal child and calling it training. +4

Reggie, you dramatic bitch. +1

Warrants exist for a reason, Patch. +1

Also, Patch decides to follow Diego’s shitty advice without any backup. +1

Drunk Five being carried bridal style by Luther. Aidan Gallagher being carried bridal style by Tom Hopper. -1

“I’m going through puberty. Twice.” Sucks to be you. +2

You had two bottles, Five. And you somehow didn’t die of alcohol poisoning. +2

Diego’s face. -1

Aidan Gallagher doesn’t play drunk very well. To be fair, he’s never been drunk (or at least I hope he hasn’t), but it’s still a sin. +1

“You know I hate code names”, okay Spaceboy. +1

“I’m the four frickin horsemen” or Gabriel’s horn. -1

“You haven’t been this sober since you were a teenager, since you decided to keep the ghosts at bay”. I hate the delivery on this last line, but to be fair to Justin Min, it was a shitty line in the first place. Sin for delivery and for the writers. Also, gee Ben, I thought he was just doing drugs to be contrary. +2

Zoya Popova is so underrated. I love her. -1

Ben’s lil smile. -1

Vanya’s apartment is so warm and nice with all the lights on, but this is the only time we get to see it that way. When she is on good terms with Allison. Lighting cues. -1

Allison, you’re too tall to fit in Vanya’s sweatpants. They’d be sweat capris. +1

Have I mentioned how much I love Allison’s jacket in this episode yet? Because I really like it. -1

Creepy flowers are creepy. +1

“She knows it was a misunderstanding” Allison’s face all but says. “Do I?”. Emmy Raver-Lampman rules. -1

Also, Vanya speaks for Allison. +1

This is where they decide to show just how much of a creep Leonard is. Well done, show. -1

Leonard is a creepy, manipulative little bastard. +1

Sin off for the gory sfx makeup in this episode. The ghosts look brutal! -1

Syd the tow truck driver is back. Too bad he’s dead. +1

The dead cheerleader is disturbing. +1

This episode sort of confirms the headcanon that Klaus can speak/understand many languages. -1

The gore on Klaus keeps changing. +1

The switch in camera angles shows the shift in point of views, hence why the ghosts disappear. Clever. -1

Ben voice: Nicely done. -1

Patch waited a pretty long time. How long was the walk from the library to thy gym? +1

Chair scoot. Klaus is smart. -1

Klaus gives himself a concussion. Sinning because he had to give himself more trauma to escape from touture. +1

Claudia gives Patch the key to the room without question and then runs.+1

Klaus is coherent enough to think to hide in the vent. Klaus is a smart cookie. -1

The death of Detective Eudora Patch. +1

The Klaus theme -1

Kenny’s mom appearance! Her hat and jacket have matching flowers that also match her pants. Cute. -1

Klaus’s wink. -1

Kenny’s mom definitely saw a lot more of Klaus than what was already on display. +1

Time traveling briefcase! -1

Kenny’s mom looks for Klaus under the seat. What??? +1

Diego gives Dolores a chair. How nice of him. -1

Diego’s Prime 8s poster. If you know, you know. -1

Aidan Gallager sucks at pretending to sleep. +1

“You throw another one of those goddamn knives at me, I’m pressing charges”. I love Al. -1

It was a half hour walk from the library to the gym. Patch waited a really long time. +1

Now you remember Klaus after you found Five, who wasn’t really in any danger. +1

The little pat Luther gives Dolores. -1

Diego takes his gloves off. It’s like he wants to get framed. +1

This scene is really emotional and made me cry the first time I saw it. +1

David Castaneda is a really good actor. -1

The fridging of Detective Eudora Patch. +100

Overall Review:

This episode starts off on a really high note. I follow Tom Hopper on Instagram. He’s really fit. There is no denying that. I also appreciated the way he played Luther this episode. The scene where Luther realizes what his body looks like was heartbreaking to watch and really well acted.

Speaking of heartbreaking to watch, the fridging of Detective Patch pisses me off. For those who don’t know, “Fridging” is when a female character is hurt or killed in some way in order to move a man’s story/emotional development forward. Considering that Patch’s death is what starts Diego’s character development, I would say that this applies. I am genuinely disappointed in the writers for doing this to Patch. I think it’s been established that I respect Patch. She doesn’t take any shit and she follows her moral compass. That is her real character. She only screws up when it comes to Diego and this is no different. She decided to be reckless like him and paid the ultimate price. However, this is completely out of character. Based on what we’re shown, Patch should have brought up her suspicions to Beeman (the other detective) and went from there. But instead, she had to die. That injustice done to her character is what deserves 100 sins. The show really dropped the ball with this one.

Moving on, Vanya and Allison have some really good interaction in this episode. I think it’s a little weird how quickly Vanya forgave Allison after the shit she said last episode. Diego and Allison treated Vanya like a fragile object, which is what led her to Leonard. To be fair, Vanya was pretty stupid that last episode when she didn’t run away, but that doesn’t excuse what Diego said and Allison agreed with. Overall, the yay sisters thing was a good, but sus moment.

Next, Klaus and Ben. Almost everything Ben said in this episode pissed me off. The “that’s the real tourture” speech was awful. For all the fandom loves him, Ben is a prick. However, Ben was also able to keep Klaus calm and encouraged him to control his power over the many, many ghosts in the room. So it’s kind of a wash for me this episode. I hope season 2 explores more of his character and why he would choose to say something so awful while his brother is being literally tortured.

As for the main plot, Five’s only lead, not that it really matters yet, has been destroyed. Hazel and Cha Cha realize that they’re going to end the world if they complete their mission. And Leonard has finally been revealed to be a creep who wants something to do with Vanya’s pills. On a rewatch, we know why that’s significant, but a first time viewer would be confused in a good way. The show wants the audience to ask: Why? Vanya’s pills have been there for important moments up until this point. And now there are being forcibly taken out of the equation. Why?

Total: 193

Sentence: Getting drunk in the library with your mannequin wife while trying to do math.

#The Umbrella Academy #all in good fun #show warnings apply #lots of spoilers #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #Allison Hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #eudora patch #leonard peabody #hazel and cha cha #analysis of the umbrella academy

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the-seas-song · 4 years ago

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Most people would be fine with Taylor coming out while attached to Toe if she was actually dating him, but she's not, she doesn't even like him as a friend and she has even been leaving Easter Eggs since Rep Era to let us know she thinks extremely lowly of him as a person for riding her coattails.

We'd also be less upset at the thought of Taylor coming out while attached to Toe if she didn't push such a misogynistic narrative for Toe, and yes, Taylor herself is deliberately feeding the misogynistic flames in her fandom on purpose with how she portrays Toe as a "relationship" in interviews and stunt articles.

If she comes out attached to him after all the bullshit misogyny she's shoved down everyone's throat over Toe, practically none of her damn fans are going to accept her coming out because they'll just Tweet about how they think Toe needs to *beat* her back into being a "good" woman; when a few of her fans thought Taylor made a domestic violence handsignal in an interview, a stupidly big amount of her fans said it's Toe's right to beat Taylor if he wants to and that if it turns out he has been beating her through their entire 'relationship', then he's done a 'good job' turning her into a 'real' woman with his fists

Yes Toe is fake, but she’s never going to tell the gp that. I was talking about her public coming out narrative, not the actual truth.

I’m going to be nitpicky for a moment. I think you mean sexism not misogyny. Misogyny means “dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women.” Sexism means “prejudice or discrimination based on sex or gender.” Sexism is mainly systemic. Misogyny is mainly hate speech and is a subsection of sexism.

We’ll have to agree to disagree about the sexism. There is nothing sexist or misogynistic about what Taylor has said about T*e. I remember the C*lvin days, she was far more gushy then. Swifties have been completely out of line for years, and her public narratives are for the gp not toxic swiffers.

For the record, I strongly disagree with the WB narrative and how it was executed. But even then, objectively, co-creating art with your partner isn’t sexist.

Also, the recent Vanity Fair article - he’s a brief mention in an article all about Taylor and her journey; and all she says is that she talked to him, her family, and friends about politics and he "supported" her decision to speak out. She’s given Todrick far more credit than T*e.

The Patriarchy is partially founded on damning vulnerability and our society’s toxic independence has serious consequences. Portraying T*e as a healthy and supportive relationship will never be sexist; and holding her responsible for the media and fans - even with her team planting articles - is to blame her for our corrupt society and it’s systems. She’s consistently told fans over the years to never believe anything the media and ‘sources’ say.

From the book “Not Under My Roof: Parents, Teens, and the Culture of Sex” by Amy Schalet:

The first section of this chapter examines cultural traditions that shaped the perception and experiences of the changes of the 1960s and '70s in the United States and the Netherlands. Out of the confluence of different cultural traditions, the social policies they influenced, and the different experiences of the upheavals of the unruly decades emerged what might be called an “adversarial” and an “interdependent” individualism. [cut]

A key difference between the two individualisms pertains to the relationship between the self and others. In their 1985 classic Habits of the Heart: Individualism and Commitment in American Life, sociologist Robert Bellah and his colleagues assert that “individualism lies at the very core of American culture.”5 Such individualism celebrates the sacredness of individuals and their judgement, self-reliance, and self-expression. But inherent in American individualism is also a tension between autonomy and society.6 Indeed, write Bellah and colleagues, American individualism includes a fear that “society may overwhelm the individual and destroy any chance of autonomy unless he stands against it.”7 That fear is accompanied by the belief that, to attain full autonomy and to commit to others and contribute to society, “one must be able to stand alone, not needing others, not depending on their judgements, and not submitting to their wishes.”8 [cut]

On the one hand, the celebration of self-reliance – and the stigmatization of dependency – have inhibited the institutionalization of income replacement programs that have made day-to-day living since the 1960s more secure in Europe.11 On the other hand, the United States has long imposed harsh justice on those deprived of freedom.12 Lacking a notion of membership in a wider society apart from individual volition, Americans see no alternative to punishment when individual volition proves insufficient to regulate behavior. Following the 1960s, the tradition of harsh justice grew into what David Garland has called “a culture of control”: the divestment from public welfare accompanied by rapid growth in incarceration rates, especially since the start of the War on Drugs, which has imprisoned a large segment of population, often on minor charges.13 [cut]

Writing in 1987, North American anthropologist Peter Stephenson observes that “the concept of self with respect to others in the Netherlands is simultaneously intensely egalitarian and highly individualistic.” [cut] And yet, an equally pervasive cultural value is that of functioning and living in close interaction and cooperation with others, a potential contradiction that is resolved by a particular conception of the self as “a discrete individual who can nonetheless work well with others.”15 [cut]

Indeed rather than view equalization and individualism as a threat to the social fabric, prominent Dutch sociologists of the 1970s and 1980s argued that people were becoming more dependent upon one another, leading to the “emancipation” of previously subordinate groups – children, workers, women, and homosexuals.19 They saw a new mode of regulating social relations in private and public life – negotiations between more or less equal parties who exercise self-restraint and willingness to consider each other's needs.20 Theory reflected public policy. Following the expansion of the welfare state in the 1950s and '60s, Dutch society of the 1970s and '80s underwent one of the strongest equalizing trends in the industrial world.21 And the assumption that people would, under controlled circumstances, self-regulate their impulses was reflected in a lenient penal policy, including the tolerance of soft drug use, which was institutionalized in 1976.22 [cut]

Many scholars and lay individuals in the United States harbored misgivings about the changes wrought by shifts in sexual and authority relations in part because, ironically, the conception of the self, celebrated and feared in middle-class culture, does not provide tools to conceptualize and foster self-restraint and social bonds without institutions that can hold individuals in check: marriage, religion, and the justice system. In the Netherlands, by contrast, lay individuals, scholars, and policymakers embraced the gains of “modernization” because they could draw on cultural resources to reconcile growing self-determination with strengthening of social bonds: traditions of inter-reliance and cooperation between elites lent themselves as means for exerting “soft” control and maintaining stability at home and in the polity in a more democratic society.23

And What's Wrong With Being Independent? by Psychology Today

We have to remember how many people voted for Trump and that the music and film industries are NOT systemically progressive. I’m been closeted, sexually assaulted, and abused by people with socioeconomic power over me; and while as a sales person I’m on the other end of the ladder, I know how it feels to be a ‘product’ owned by a brand. Just this week a customer ripped me and my coworker apart because she was an idiot and almost ripped her coat on our display. She told us outright that if her coat had ripped she would have had us punished, and we couldn’t say a word against her because ‘the customer is always right’. Unfortunately, this kind of behavior is not a one off incident.

Even with Taylor’s hints, we’re only seeing 5% of the picture. She’s not perfect, but I wouldn’t still be a fan 14 years later if I didn’t believe in her character. And in general I have very strong feelings about blaming victims (or individual people) instead of the system. Hitler and Trump would never have gained power if there weren’t countless social systems and a massive audience supporting them.

Anyway. Just my two cents.

#Taylor meta #Mine

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tearlessrain · 7 years ago

Text

okay are y’all ready for Spirit: Riding Free? because I am probably not

the opening theme is a catchy but generic country-ish pop song. not terrible. the animation is ugly af but still better than alpha and omega

wait wait wait hold the fuck up. so remember that part of the original spirit where the horse literally explodes an entire steam engine through the sheer force of his righteous anger to stop the humans from building a railroad?

FEELS LIKE A PRETTY HOLLOW VICTORY NOW THANKS WRITERS

every single one of them is rendered in a different art style and the one on the upper right looks like a mii. why is the lower right one two dimensional.

um. why is her dad like. an uncomfortably beautiful man.

seriously look at this

this is a man who meticulously maintains his eyebrows that doesn’t happen by accident he looks like an elven lord wearing a fake mustache

oh wait it’s her uncle that explains why she looks nothing like him

her name is Lucky? okay why not.

here come the wild horses oh booooy this is so much less climactic than the opening scene of spirit I feel like they should be playing the theme from the movie on a single kazoo in the background

I’m unduly bothered that not-spirit is joyfully racing with the train that his father(?) so vehemently tried to stop from existing, this seems slightly tone deaf

of course she already has a special ~connection~ with not-spirit, I can see how this is gonna go

oh they...they caught him. that was quick. OKAY kids wrap it up show’s over

okay look, I’m just gonna get this off my chest now because I feel like it’s gonna come up a lot in this show. mustangs are an invasive species. like they’re pretty yeah but they also screw up the ecosystem and there’s a dang good reason the BLM doesn’t let too many of them run loose at once. if it weren’t for people going “but wild west nostalgia something something american freedom symbol” there probably would be a lot fewer feral horses and that would not be a bad thing. and also they’re not wild horses. they’re feral domesticated horses. przewalski’s horses are wild. mustangs are like stray cat colonies that eat a shitton of native foliage instead of endangered birds. I love the concept of majestic horse herds roaming freely as much as the next guy and I’m definitely not saying shoot them all or something (mustang adoptions are great) but they’re still bad for the environment and the people who round them up really aren’t the bad guys here. I’m sure the horse wranglers will end up being cartoonish villains but her uncle is completely right.

on the other hand I love how everyone looked at this invasive foreign species that multiplies too fast and starves out the native ones and went “yep that’s the most american thing there is”

okay I’m done I’m ready to suspend my environmental salt for the purpose of a horse show for children now but it had to be said. invasive species.

they’re arrived at the sims 3 map they’re moving to

not-spirit is trying awfully hard to break free of those ropes but judging by the quality with which this show is rendered I’m pretty sure he could clip through them if he just finds the right combination of bucks and rears

ah of course we now have the obligatory Snooty Girl to go along with Posh Aunt, Adventure Uncle, Primary Horse Girl, and Problem Horse. this sure is a horse show all right.

I’ll be honest though, the writing isn’t awful

wait he IS her dad. okay now it’s even more of a horse show. gotta have that father-daughter bonding moment over a dead mother in there somewhere.

they have a surprisingly healthy and genuine relationship

I already hate Posh Aunt though her character archetype annoys me

so I’m glad the horses don’t talk and they kept that consistent but why does not-spirit understand english so perfectly?

and why did he just eat her ham sandwich this horse is a carnivore

maybe mustangs DO eat endangered birds

I knew a pony once who acted like he really wanted to be a carnivore his name was rocco and he was an adorable asshole who bit at least three people the one time I rode him. I mean bad training obviously but damn he was cute.

okay I know this is stupidly nitpicky for the horse that eats ham sandwiches and understands english but it bothers me that they designed him as if the dark nose is a marking that goes over the blaze. that’s not how white markings work, or how horse noses work, there should be some pink skin where the blaze runs into the nose or it should end before the nose. pick one.

that horse looks exactly like spirit’s mom from the movie. that’s... an odd choice.

I have just come to the terrible realization that I’m watching the Old West Saddle Club. token black girl and snobby nemesis included. god help me.

why is the horse named boomerang did they even have boomerangs in the old west

okay I literally paused to google this and apparently boomerangs didn’t originate in australia and appeared in a lot of ancient cultures from all over the world, and the navajo used something similar but the actual term boomerang appearing in the old west is still highly suspect

they forgot to move the reins they’re still dragging in front of the horse

beautiful

this is the pilot episode. the first impression they choose to make to the viewers.

yes most of their viewers are probably ten years old but that’s no excuse.

oh well if they’d just TALKED to the horse it would’ve let them ride, obviously, why didn’t they think of that

seriously why didn’t they, the horses in this universe very obviously understand complex sentences in english, I don’t see how this would be a secret

we have limited time and some people might die and we’re the only ones who can prevent it. TIME FOR A GALLOPY JOYRIDE IN A RANDOM DIRECTION.

okay know what that was impressive. they just did this shot where her hair tie fell off and the braid came loose and let me tell you they don’t have much to work with here with these models, but they did it. they used some timely zooming and strategic lens flair and they did it almost seamlessly. I’m not even being sarcastic here I’m proud of them for how they did that.

I think genuine effort is going into this show you guys

most untrained feral horses with no tack and a beyond green rider would run away from a giant explosion, but fortunately all she has to do with felaróf here is explain the situation and he’ll charge right into the exploding narrow space

GAAAH WHY WOULD YOU MOUNT A HORSE LIKE THAT

FIRST OF ALL NEVER BACK UP DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF A HORSE ESPECIALLY WHEN THINGS ARE EXPLODING

SECOND OF ALL THEY CAN’T THROW A FULL SIZE CHILD IN THE AIR WITH THEIR NOSE THAT’S NOT HOW know what fine why not this is fine its name is fucking boomerang it can do whatever it wants

well the saddle club is trapped in the exploding canyon I wonder if they will escape

the suspense

COOL HORSES DON’T LOOK AT EXPLOSIONS

I feel like the people who animated this are like... they’re genuinely trying. like the creative way to circumvent the model limitations with the hair thing, the overall way the shots are set up... I respect them in spite of the blatant mistake with the reins earlier and the overall visually mediocre end result. it’s really not their fault and I respect what they managed to do with the resources they had.

it’s not their fault the modelling team spent most of the budget on adventure dad’s eyebrows

whoa the guy who tried to ride not-spirit earlier is not-carol’s dad what a twist. I guess I should have seen it coming it’s not like there would be two unrelated black people in one town that would just be crazy

on the other hand I’m really glad that the horse wranglers are apparently not villains, way to go writers you’ve kind of written these people more realistically than the original movie

but come on we all know that colonel was just completely insane, most of his men were probably otherwise reasonable people following bad and frankly weird orders because they were afraid of being tied to that post. like what was his thing with The Post. that’s a terrible catch-all solution for the majority of problems he is likely to have but I bet he tries to solve all of them with it. “sir this canon is broken” “tie it to the post, no food or water” “but sir” “THE POST”

“he’s unbreakable” you spent maybe five minutes slapping a saddle on him and yanking his reins, clinton anderson, that doesn’t mean it’s impossible to train him

oh right my mistake she’s just ~a natural~

oh no you are not about to name him spirit

you are

you did

it’s a good name for a horse I guess but most disney sequels at least don’t give the kid the exact same name as their dad in addition to looking almost identical

aw she’s letting horse-curufinwe go free

oh okay horse-curufinwe came back

(really though? with a little wiggle room granted for metaphor the original spirit’s full name could actually be translated to feanor. though I'm pretty sure fearanyo would be more accurate technically. I’m sorry this is going wildly off the rails. much like that train fearanyo exploded which his son clearly does not appreciate.)

he sure got over missing his herd quick I guess so much for original spirit’s legacy and freedom and shiz

and don’t talk to me about my BLM rant I said I’m suspending disbelief, things are different in the spirit-verse

and of course she doesn’t ride horse-curufinwe with tack because he’s freeee and it’s impossible to ride badly or hurt the horse without a bridle that automatically equals good horsemanship *coughclintonandersoncough*

well, that was a fairly predictable and aesthetically meh but not alltogether unpleasant experience. not exactly riveting but I would feel okay about letting a child watch this, especially one young enough to not have seen these tropes a few hundred times yet because they’d probably enjoy it. I feel like this series actually has potential if the writers/animators take it. even if they don’t it’s still better and more intelligent than alpha and omega.

#tearless liveblogs #in which I gain a grudging respect for the animators and lose most of my respect for whoever named these horses

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