#yes I know Vicki is only in one scene but I fell in love with the version of her I created for a fic okay

[thirddoctor]

BLOSCTOBER DAY 18 - ONE-OFF CHARACTERS

[gerrystamour]

you're in the walls that i made with crosses and frames [gift fic]

Explicit★Steddie★7600 words★Complete

Happy birthday @legitcookie !! I hope it was a lovely one!! And yes, wee collab with @sentient-trash with the art!! ;p Summary: The expression on Eddie’s face was smug, his chest puffing up proudly under Steve’s hungry stare as he reached him. “Careful, Harrington, you’re gonna start catching flies,” Eddie spat venomously as he brushed past, his studded shoulder catching Steve’s arm and almost knocking him off balance. Steve’s mouth snapped shut with an audible click, the muscle in his jaw twitching as he looked away. Honestly, he deserved Eddie’s coldness… Tags & CWs: Break-up, getting back together, semi-public sex, blatant scene theft from Atonement minus the angst, hurt/comfort, love confessions, anal sex, barebacking, Creampie No Condom Nation, top steve harrington, bottom eddie munson

[ READ ON AO3 ]

The sounds of the gala fell away as Steve reached the top of the stairs and rounded the corner he saw Eddie disappear around. The other man was moving fast, already at the end of the hall and turning at the next corner. It was dark upstairs, the wall sconces turned on but kept low, and the live music from downstairs was barely audible through the formidable soundproofing. All Steve could hear as he quickened his steps was the jingling of the chains that adorned Eddie’s outfit.

It had been overwhelming seeing Eddie walk in with his band earlier that evening, in more ways than just the deep-seated ache in Steve’s chest.

Steve had been trying to distract himself without getting hammered while he watched the entrance, forcibly taking his time with the glass of wine Robin had grabbed for him.

“Maybe he won’t show,” Steve said hopefully as the first hour of the gala passed.

“You know he’d never pass up the chance to make your dad shit his pants,” she said blandly, and Steve looked down at her skeptically. She shrugged, raising her eyebrows. “What? Maybe I haven’t actually met ‘im yet, but I think that’s a fair guess.”

“Robin! I need your help!” Vickie materialized out of the crowd next to them, reaching out to touch Robin’s wrist gently. Steve watched with no small amount of amusement as Robin blushed lightly and immediately followed after Vickie, not even waiting to hear the crisis.

Once he was standing alone, he made a point to look around at the other guests, trying not to watch the entrance like a hawk.

It was a charity gala, something that was mostly for Steve’s father to save face after his campaign accepted a donation from an organization with concerning ties to a white supremacist group. John Harrington’s PR team had been insistent that he arrange an event, inviting the spokespeople of a handful of charities that had been trending positively on social media recently.

All but one charity declined the invitation. The only one that accepted the invitation was a charity for homeless queer youths, which Steve knew to be connected to Corroded Coffin. For them to accept the invitation meant that Eddie was absolutely going to be showing up, and he was going to be making a statement.

Despite preparing himself for the moment he saw Eddie again ever since Corroded Coffin returned their RSVP with a giant yes, Steve was still nearly brought to his knees at the sight of him.

At first, Steve didn’t even realize they had arrived, successfully distracting himself with people-watching while some friend of his father’s chattered at him. It was only when the man stumbled over his words and stared over Steve’s shoulder at the entrance that he turned to look.

The first thing Steve noticed was that all four of them were wearing their battle vests or jackets; loud garments adorned with patches, pins, and spikes. Except these particular garments had political statements on them more than they were decked out in band patches. And of course, Eddie’s leather battle jacket was the loudest out of the four with several patches condemning white supremacy, all surrounded by a sea of shiny spikes.

The man practically glittered as he stepped into the light of the foyer.

It wasn’t just the jacket that had enough metal on it to catch the light but there appeared to be several chains adorning his outfit underneath—no, not an outfit, the dress. Eddie actually showed up to Republican Congressman John Harrington’s charity gala in a dress, and Steve had never been more in love with him than he was right that second.

But that was the problem, though—Steve being in love with Eddie.

The voices of the mingling ambassadors, politicians, and investors hushed as more people took notice of the newest arrivals, their expressions sour, some even angry, though it wasn’t lost on Steve the way some of their eyes lingered on the four of them just a bit too long to be strictly disdainful.

From Steve’s vantage point, he could tell that Eddie’s dress was pretty simple except for the chains with a wide neckline that rested at his collarbones, but it looked like there were two slits following each leg and ended quite high on his pelvis. Those had Steve desperate to see Eddie walking with his full stride, to see how the skirt moved around his legs and showed them off. At that distance, Eddie didn’t look too much taller, so Steve was sure he wasn’t wearing heels, but he still had gorgeous legs with tattoos covering almost every inch of his skin. Already, Steve was formulating a plan to get closer to Eddie, wanting to see that dress up close, to see Eddie in that dress up close.

Returning his attention to Eddie’s face, his breath was taken away at how fierce his expression was, the way it was accentuated by the make-up he was wearing—it was his concert make-up, if a bit dialed back since it wasn’t for an arena to be able to see but a slightly more intimate affair. Their current tour had a lot of Satanic overtones to it, so the look was dark, very smoky and gave Eddie’s brow a permanent sort of scowl. Of course, Eddie’s curly mane of dark hair was left down, wild around his face and shoulders and Steve hated that he knew how it would feel to bury his hands in it.

It was then that Eddie’s eyes met his from across the room and a sneer twisted his features. It was pathetic just how much that condescending look did for Steve.

“Carry on, gentlemen,” Eddie addressed the gawking bystanders nearest to them before he began crossing the room in Steve’s direction, granting his wish of seeing that dress move around his legs, and good God, Steve was not prepared for this like he thought he’d be.

Yes, Steve had always been obsessed with the rockstar’s legs, the way they were thicker than one might expect, strong and covered in tattoos. Except all that was visible of Eddie’s legs were his thighs, since he was wearing a pair of knee-socks under his clunky combat boots. The dichotomy of the battle jacket, the dress, and the boots was captivating. It was impossible to look away from the man, even if Steve was worried about how he would react being so close to Eddie again for the first time in weeks.

As Eddie got closer, a flash of red somewhere in Eddie’s outfit caught Steve’s attention and he nearly choked on his tongue. Through the slits in the skirt, Steve could catch a glimpse of whatever underwear Eddie was wearing and Christ, he was pretty sure he saw something red and lacy. Another thing that Steve was able to tell now that Eddie was closer was that the chains on the dress were not actually part of the dress, but attached to a leather harness he was wearing over the dress.

It was one of the harnesses Steve had seen him wear lots of times in the past, though that was often with a lot less clothing and in the dim lighting of the bathroom at a gay club.

The expression on Eddie’s face was smug, his chest puffing up proudly under Steve’s hungry stare as he reached him.

“Careful, Harrington, you’re gonna start catching flies,” Eddie spat venomously as he brushed past, his studded shoulder catching Steve’s arm and almost knocking him off balance.

Steve’s mouth snapped shut with an audible click, the muscle in his jaw twitching as he looked away. Honestly, he deserved Eddie’s coldness.

The last time they saw each other, it was yet another hurried, desperate hook-up. They were sprawled out on the couch in the green room after Eddie’s show in Seattle, the rest of the band already on their way back to their apartments. Eddie was practically naked, since he really only wore a pair of tight, black jeans while performing while Steve was still wearing his entire outfit. Nimble, grasping hands had managed to unbutton Steve’s shirt enough to get to his collarbones, and Eddie made a delighted little sound as he wiggled where he sat on Steve’s cock.

“What?” Steve chuckled breathlessly, tipping his head back as Eddie stooped to kiss and nibble the spot just beneath his collarbone.

“Nothin’,” Eddie crooned as he began to bounce, sighing as he said, “Just my favourite freckle. Looks a little like a heart.”

The comment shot through Steve, and he almost choked on it, the way his heart clenched and how badly he wanted what they had to be more than just casual fucks in back rooms, public toilets, and occasionally the backseat of a limo. It wasn’t a surprise to Steve to realize that he was actually in love with Eddie—hell, he flew out there just to see the rockstar because he knew it was Eddie’s birthday last week.

As they panted for breath, Steve had considered asking Eddie about the comment he made, about the possibility for more. But looking around the room, eyes landing on the battle jacket, and he couldn’t help but remember the way they started this.

It started with something that could only be called hate-sex. Sex that was mean and punishing, that left them both bruised and limping most of the time. The first time they hooked up, Eddie had shoved Steve to his knees so hard he’d needed to wear his old knee brace for a couple weeks.

“Shut the fuck up and put that mouth to good use for once in your life, Harrington.”

Eddie never hesitated to rant about Steve’s father, which was understandable. He felt like he hated his father for the same reasons, too. But there was that knowledge that Eddie hated his father, and John hated Eddie just as much, and—fuck, they were both too famous to keep a relationship secret. They were already pushing it with their little arrangement as it was. Steve was already trying to figure out how he would get out of there without being recognized.

And ultimately, it wasn’t even about Steve’s father, but everything John stood for and his voters, his following. It would be dangerous for Eddie to be with Steve, and even if the rockstar wanted to take that risk on—and he knew Eddie wouldn’t—Steve wouldn’t ask that of him. And mostly, pathetically, Steve just didn’t want the man to fucking laugh at him for catching feelings. Christ, he’d had enough of that to last him a lifetime.

“You have a hotel room?” Eddie asked, still catching his breath as he lifted himself shakily out of Steve’s lap with a grimace. Getting off the couch, he crossed the small room to start turning his pants the right way out.

“Nah, I was gonna fly back out to D.C. on the first flight out and that’s in, like, four hours. Just had to sign some things at our firm here,” Steve fibbed as he watched his cum drip down Eddie’s thigh.

“What are you going to do for four hours?” Eddie snorted, looking over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow before pulling his pants back on.

“There’s a lounge at the airport for me to relax in,” Steve replied easily as he tucked his cock back into his boxer briefs and did his fly back up.

Eddie snorted. “You could crash at my apartment if you’re too stingy to spring for a hotel room,” he said with a derisive eye roll, and Steve’s chest squeezed with want.

With a haughty sigh, Steve stood up and fixed his hair in the mirror. “I actually meant to say something before you threw yourself at me,” he said blandly, and Eddie scoffed. Steve met his eyes in the mirror, and to his dismay the rockstar was grinning in a very real way, his dimples deep and easily visible from outer space.

“Oh, so I threw myself at you, did I? The ego—” Eddie started, and Steve looked back at himself in the mirror.

“I think it’s time we stopped this,” he interrupted, and the silence that filled the room was suffocating.

“What?” Eddie asked, his entire tone changing as his voice raised in disbelief. Steve hated to hear the laughter leaving Eddie’s voice, and he loathed himself for being the one to chase it away.

But he wasn’t strong enough to keep this going when he wanted more, wanted too much.

Steve rolled his eyes with a feigned aloofness, knowing Eddie could see the motion in the mirror. “I said,” he explained slowly, as if he was talking to a child, “that I think it’s time we stopped this.”

“Why?” Eddie demanded, and Steve refused to even glance at him in the mirror again, knowing he would crumble the second he did.

“It’s time I actually settled down, started a family. Plan my future,” Steve replied, bringing back his Trust Fund Baby persona that Eddie hated so much at the start of all this.

There’s another short silence. “You’ve… found someone already?” Eddie asked, his tone almost mocking.

“Maybe,” Steve said easily. It wasn’t a complete lie; he did find someone he wanted to settle down with, it just couldn’t happen. “Can’t really pursue that with you sending me dick pics daily,” he added, voice flat and condescending.

“As if I am ever the first one to send jackshit, Harrington,” Eddie snapped viciously, and only then did Steve look at him. The man was furious, eyes wild with his anger and Steve deserved all of it. If Steve was braver, he would face the ridicule for his honesty rather than hide behind the persona curated for his father. Despite the casual nature of their relationship, Eddie deserved better than being lied to.

Then Eddie’s mouth twisted in a sneer as he said, “What the fuck ever. I hope your miserable ever after with whatever bland, good little Christian girl daddy dearest picked out for you is fucking worth it.”

As if realizing he was still naked for all of that—Jesus, Steve really knew how to make a break-up hurt, if it could even be called a break-up—Eddie hurriedly began pulling his pants back on. Steve looked away, letting Eddie get dressed in some semblance of privacy after embarrassing him as much as he had.

When Eddie was done getting dressed, Steve finally looked at him as he paused at the door of the green room.

“I’ll text you and let you know if the coast is clear,” Eddie said coldly, and Steve’s heart ached at how the other man was still going to help keep this a secret. “After that? Forget my number. If I ever see you at one of my shows again, I’ll kick your teeth in.”

That was the last thing Eddie said to him, and then weeks later they were forced to spend an entire evening in relatively close proximity. Well, Steve was forced by virtue of being a Harrington with a campaigning father; Eddie legitimately chose to come, which was definitely deliberate considering the dress, the harness, and the lingerie. Even the make-up was on purpose, since that was what Eddie had been wearing that night in Seattle.

Steve kept his distance as much as he could, even if he couldn’t keep his eyes off of Eddie, watching him make his way through the crowd, being his charismatic self despite his entire get-up. He and his band were the guests of honour that evening, after all. Watching Eddie constantly, though, meant that he was caught doing so, and every time their eyes met, Eddie would scowl darkly at him.

As the night progressed, Eddie’s anger and disdain began to wear on Steve. He felt stupid and selfish for being annoyed, especially with the way he ended things, but really? All of this anger and hatred just for being dumped by a high-risk booty call?

“You okay?” Robin asked as she appeared beside Steve, tangling her fingers in his and giving his hand a squeeze.

With a huge, relieved sigh, Steve pulled her into a loose hug. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just… it’s a lot seeing him again,” Steve admitted, just loud enough for her to hear.

Robin hummed. “I ran into him earlier, by the way,” she said after a moment, and at that, Steve pulled back without letting go of her completely.

“Did he say anything to you?” Steve asked and Robin shook her head.

“Not really, asked if I was your fiancée, I was like, ‘according to the tabloids’ and then he looked at me like he wanted me dead,” she replied, raising her eyebrows up at Steve. “You sure he only wanted casual?”

“Of course, he did, Robs,” Steve scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Why would he want more with me of all people?”

Robin just looked up at Steve sadly before she stepped away from him. “You okay if I go grab us a couple drinks?” she asked, deciding in a rare move to let something drop.

“Yeah, Robs, thanks,” he said, meaning more than just the drinks and nodding as she turned to walk away.

When Steve looked back across the room toward Eddie, the man was staring at him, and his expression was wrong. It wasn’t the glare Steve had grown used to over the evening, but he was too far away for Steve to even try to read it. Jolting a bit, as if shocked or burned as he realized Steve was looking at him, Eddie said something to his bandmates before turning on his heel and heading up the staircase.

Before Steve even realized it, he was making his way carefully through the crowd, dodging questions and greetings thrown his way until he reached the stairs.

“Steven, speeches are in twenty minutes,” John warned him as he passed.

Without even glancing at his father, Steve waved over his shoulder and took the stairs two at a time.

Now, as he turned the corner after Eddie, Steve paused near the only open doorway. It was the study, which had a massive built-in bookshelf filled with books Steve was fairly certain no one had ever actually read. There was a light on inside and Steve could hear Eddie muttering. Was Eddie meeting someone else up here? Was Steve about to hear Eddie fucking someone else? That thought filled Steve’s veins with ice, that some creep who was schmoozing downstairs and sneering at Eddie less than five minutes ago would be touching him.

No one at this gala deserved to touch him like that.

Again, Steve reacted before he even realized, storming into the study ready to fight if he had to, just to stop short when he realized that Eddie was alone. Not only was he alone, but he looked close to tears, eyes wide and glassy, his eyelashes shiny with them.

“Eds?” Steve finally managed after several long moments of staring at each other. Eddie sucked in a harsh breath, blinking rapidly as he flinched back, and a tear fell down his cheek.

“Don’t call me that,” Eddie snapped, shaking his head and wiping the tear away. “Fuck you.”

“What—why are you crying?” Steve asked, but he didn’t have to. Steve might have been slow on the uptake, but he wasn’t stupid.

“Because you’re happy. I saw all the stupid magazines, and all the bullshit clickbait, and I was so fucking sure you were miserable,” Eddie laughed bitterly, crossing his arms over his chest. He was an imposing figure, even with the tears in his eyes, clothed in leather and metal, almost his entire body hidden under his armor.

As if reading his thoughts, Eddie opened his arms and gestured down at himself. “I wore this just to—I wanted you to be miserable so fucking much, and that you’d see me and feel even fucking worse,” Eddie bit out through clenched teeth, dropping his hands and staring up at the high ceiling.

Steve stepped closer to Eddie and the rockstar shuffled backward, keeping the same distance between them. “I know I ended things badly, Eddie—”

“See, that’s just it, Steve, you didn’t ‘end things badly,’” Eddie practically snarled with exaggerated scare quotes, storming right up into Steve’s space. “You made me feel like you actually wanted me and then you fucking ripped my heart out. You fucking ruined me, and you just left me and you’re happy. You wanted to settle down, and you’re going to get that, when all I wanted was for you to choose me. Why couldn’t you settle down with me?”

Steve stared at Eddie, wide-eyed and holding his breath, the full realization of how much he fucked up in Seattle crashing down on him. He could feel his own eyes stinging, his vision blurring. Steve could’ve had exactly what he wanted all those months ago if he was just braver, and now it appeared he blew it completely. Something softened at the corners of Eddie’s eyes, even if his mouth stayed set in a severe line.

As the silence persisted between them, Eddie tipped his chin up almost defiantly. “Anything to say? At all?” he asked, condescension clear in his voice, but there was something desperate underneath it, something painfully earnest. Something so close to begging, it hurt Steve’s heart to hear it.

And Steve wanted to say that he was sorry, that he should never have done that, that he was a coward and that he would do anything for a chance to go back and stop himself.

“Do you hate me?” Steve asked finally, and he internally grimaced at how childish that question sounded. It seemed to catch Eddie off-guard as well, his wet eyes widening slightly before he laughed hollowly.

“Jesus H Christ, I wish I did,” Eddie said, and his expression was so deeply sad that Steve wanted to just gather him into his arms. “This would be easier if I hated you.”

“I don’t want you to hate me, Eddie, I don’t—I’m not happy,” Steve confessed breathlessly, blinking rapidly as more tears formed, and one fell down his cheek. “I’ve been as miserable as you wanted me to be. I never stopped wanting you. I wanted so much, and I thought it was too much to ask, so I ended things.”

Eddie’s face twisted into something so full of anger that Steve considered stepping out of swinging range, but Eddie just glared at him. “You didn’t even ask me—”

“No, I didn’t. Because what did I have that you’d want? I’m the closeted queer son of a Republican Congressman and you’re… you,” Steve said, his tone far more reverent than he intended as he gestured to all of him. “You’re free, and loud. Proud of who you are and so fucking brave, Eds. You’re an inspiration to so many, and I just—why would you want me?”

Eddie was looking at him with wide eyes, his mouth hanging open as all of his righteous, hurt fury left him. Then Eddie shook his head gently and looked at Steve with an expression that was so unbearably soft, he had to fight to not shy away from it.

“You still want that?” Eddie asked, his voice quiet, nearly a whisper. “Too much?”

“Yes, Eds, I want everything,” Steve breathed, taking a step toward Eddie and lifting a hand to tentatively cup his cheek. This time, Eddie didn’t dodge him or move away, and Steve sighed in relief. “I do want you, to settle down with you. I’ve always wanted you.”

Tipping his chin up in that defiant little nod of his, Eddie took a deep breath through his nose. Steve jolted when cool fingers wrapped around his other wrist and guided his hand to wrap around Eddie’s hip. “Prove it, big boy,” he challenged, his voice low as he tilted his cheek into Steve’s hand.

The hand on Eddie’s cheek immediately shifted until it was tangled into his hair, tilting his head back as Steve crowded him backward against the bookshelf. They hit the shelf with more force than Steve intended, but Eddie only arched his body against Steve harder, eyes wide as he looked up at him. The quiet stretched between them, and Steve stooped as if to kiss the beautiful man in his arms, but he hesitated, still so unsure despite all of Eddie’s confessions.

But then the ghost of a smile, a real one with dimples, twitched the corners of Eddie’s mouth up as he looked at Steve’s lips. When those impossibly dark eyes met his again, Steve was almost too distracted to notice Eddie’s small nod. As Steve leaned down, his lips hovering just above Eddie’s, he savoured the quiet, breathless moment before everything changed again.

In the next breath, their lips were sliding together, gentle and slow, testing the waters as their tongues met in the middle. Sliding his arm around Eddie’s waist, Steve splayed his broad palm and long fingers across his back before grabbing one of the straps of the leather harness. Pulling Eddie in tighter, Steve groaned as he deepened the kiss, licking into the rockstar’s mouth as they clung to each other and rocked their hips together.

Steve pulled back, panting heavily against Eddie’s lips as both of his hands began wandering. “Should we be doing this?” Steve asked, rocking his hardening cock against Eddie’s hip.

“Probably not,” Eddie admitted with a laugh before dragging Steve back into a kiss by his hair. Steve went willingly, sighing as he slipped his hands under Eddie’s dress through the slits, reaching around to grab two handfuls of his perfect ass.

“We should talk,” Steve added, shuddering when his head was pulled back by his hair so Eddie could kiss and bite at his throat.

“We definitely should,” Eddie agreed before lifting his head to meet Steve’s eyes. “And we will, just—please.”

It was the ‘please’ that broke the last of Steve’s restraint. It was the softness of it, the way Eddie’s voice cracked around it, the nearly fearful look in Eddie’s eyes, as if he expected this moment to end just as abruptly as it started. When Eddie said please like that, Steve couldn’t deny him anything.

“Yeah, okay, baby,” Steve breathed, kneading the mostly bare skin of Eddie’s ass before frowning. Squeezing his cheeks again, Steve asked, “Are you wearing assless panties?”

Eddie bit his lips as he smirked mischievously and shrugged. “Technically, I think it’s a jockstrap, but lacy,” he admitted, his face darkening with his blush at the admission.

Groaning thickly, Steve groped his handfuls roughly. “Oh fuck, I have to see this,” he moaned, but when he pulled back and moved to lift the front of the dress, Eddie grabbed his wrists.

“You first,” Eddie whispered against his mouth before kissing him again, and Steve nodded quickly as he returned the kiss sloppily.

Lifting both hands to the shelf on either side of Eddie’s shoulders, Steve waited as patiently as he could, kissing Eddie hungrily as deft fingers undid his belt and fly. When Eddie began shoving his pants and briefs down his thighs, Steve took the hint and toed off his shoes so he could kick his legs free of the garments.

“The coat—lose it,” Eddie demanded, and Steve didn’t hesitate to obey. He removed his blazer clumsily before throwing it vaguely in the direction of the nearby desk. By the time Steve’s hands returned to the shelf, Eddie was fumbling with unbuttoning his shirt. With a grunt, Eddie snapped, “Oh, fuck this.”

Without so much as a pause, Eddie gripped Steve’s shirt on either side of the buttons and yanked, popping every single button off and sending them clattering across the floor. It was hot, leaving Steve breathless with how desperately hungry he was for Eddie. It barely even occurred to Steve that he should be concerned about his shirt being ruined, about how he would return to the gala downstairs without the buttons. When Eddie pressed his hands to Steve’s chest he whined and pushed him back a bit.

“Oh, what the fuck, of course you’re wearing an undershirt,” Eddie complained as he looked down at Steve, his jaw promptly snapping shut with a hard swallow.

Steve felt a bit silly standing there with his cock out in his socks and undershirt, the dress shirt still hanging from his shoulders. He must look ridiculous, especially with the damp patch of sweat on his chest and stomach.

“It’s not fair that you’re somehow hotter when you aren’t even naked,” Eddie grumbled, treating himself to a slow, nearly ravenous look at Steve’s body. His eyes lingered on Steve’s legs, his expression almost pained as he asked, “Steve, are those garter belts for your fucking socks?”

Steve jolted and looked down, shrugging as he looked at the bands around his shins, just below his knees. “Yeah?” he responded, and he hated how lame his response sounded.

“Why?” Eddie asked explosively, and Steve smirked at him as he caught on.

Stepping into Eddie’s space again, Steve slipped a finger under one of the suspenders running down the length of his thigh, pulling it away from his skin a bit. “I think I’m wearing them for the same reason as you, right?” he said teasingly, pressing Eddie back into the bookshelf once again as he released the strap, letting it snap lightly against Eddie’s skin. “To keep your socks up?”

Eddie groaned thickly, arching against Steve desperately. “No, you asshole, I wore mine to drive you in-fucking-sane,” he admitted as he smoothed his hands up Steve’s stomach and onto his chest, thumbing his nipples teasingly through the fabric of his undershirt. When Steve jolted, Eddie let out a breathy chuckle and swept his hands back down to slowly, torturously, push it up past Steve’s chest.

“Well, mission accomplished, I guess,” Steve sighed through another groan as Eddie’s hands resumed playing with his nipples. Groaning, Steve stooped and crushed their lips together, his hands finding their way back under Eddie’s dress to grope his ass again.

“Can you take off your battle jacket, Eds?” he asked breathlessly when he pulled away, and Eddie hesitated, slowly opening his eyes to search Steve’s face. After a moment, Eddie nodded once and reached into a pocket to pull out a chain of condoms and a packet of lube before shrugging the jacket off and tossing it onto the desk nearby.

The sight of Eddie’s shoulders beneath the jacket was captivating; Steve hadn’t realized that the neckline of the dress was so wide he’d have a mostly unobstructed view of Eddie’s shoulders and throat. The only thing that interrupted the pale expanse aside from a couple visible tattoos was the collar of the harness. The sleeves of the dress were long and fit snugly all the way from shoulder to wrist, the dark, stretchy material accentuating the lithe muscle underneath. With a steadying breath, Steve turned his attention to the items Eddie had removed from his pocket, and he couldn’t help the way his eyebrows shot up.

At Steve’s expression, Eddie rolled his eyes and dropped the lube and condoms on the shelf above his shoulder, his cheeks actually turning pink under his gaze. “Don’t look at me like that. Yes, I came prepared to get fucked tonight, and yes, before you ask, I hoped it would be you,” he grumbled in a rush, pulling Steve back against him and tilting his mouth up for a kiss and Steve couldn’t deny him even if he wanted to.

Everything else fell away as their lips moved against each other, desperate and frantic, their teeth clacking together until they found their rhythm with each other again. Pulling away from Eddie’s mouth, Steve kissed his way down his cheek and the thick column of his neck, kissing and biting until the pale skin was littered with marks before moving to give the same treatment to Eddie’s shoulders.

Steve would have spent the rest of the evening like that, just kissing and biting until Eddie was so thoroughly marked that neither of them could pretend this was just another meaningless hook-up. Just like Steve had never been completely naked in front of Eddie, they had also successfully refrained from giving each other hickeys, from marking each other up and raising questions.

“Steve, please,” Eddie whined, and Steve sighed at the plaintive cry, rocking his hard cock against Eddie’s. “Fuck, Steve, enough teasing, we don’t have all night.”

Lifting his head, Steve recaptured Eddie’s lips, moaning against him as they ground their cocks together, the only thing separating them being the layers of Eddie’s dress and jockstrap. Fuck, Steve wanted to see him in just the jockstrap, but Eddie was right; they didn’t have all night.

Sliding one hand down the back of Eddie’s thigh, Steve hooked his hand under his knee and lifted his foot off of the ground, directing him to hook the clunky heel of his boot over one of the lower rungs of the ladder next to them. One of Eddie’s hands flew up to hold onto the ladder as well, lifting himself up just enough to wrap his other leg around Steve’s waist. It was frenzied as they made out and rutted against each other like that, moaning filthily into each other’s mouths.

Reaching down between them, Steve quickly pulled the front section of the dress out of the way, tossing the fabric over Eddie’s leg before looking down at the lace jockstrap. The sound that left him at the sight of the sheer fabric straining around the bulge of Eddie’s hard cock would have been embarrassing if Steve had the capacity to care about anything beyond fucking Eddie. There was a shiny, wet spot on the red lace at the tip of Eddie’s cock that Steve desperately wanted to taste, to wrap his lips around the head through the fabric and suck and lap at the precum that formed there.

Groaning, Steve shifted one of his hands on Eddie’s ass, slipping his fingers deeper and froze as his fingertips found the flared base of a plug. The thought of Eddie walking around the entire night with a plug in his ass was something Steve would be revisiting in his dreams repeatedly, he was sure.

“Jesus, Eds,” Steve practically growled against Eddie’s mouth, hooking his fingers under the flare and tugging at the toy, just to hear Eddie whimper. “You’ve actually been wearing this all night?”

“Already told you, was ready to be fucked,” Eddie gasped, his eyelids fluttering as Steve pulled on the plug a bit more deliberately until it popped free of his hole. Steve happily swallowed the cry that spilled from Eddie’s throat, groaning as he pressed two fingers into his twitching, slick hole. The sound that ripped from Eddie was wounded, high and reedy and nearly sad, and Eddie dropped his head back against bookshelf. “Please, Stevie, don’t be a fucking tease.”

“Okay, okay, I’ve got you, baby,” Steve breathed, and when he tried to put some space between them to put a condom on, Eddie’s leg tightened around his waist. “I can’t put the condom on like this.”

“Forget the condom, just fuck me,” Eddie demanded, and Steve chuckled sadly.

There was a time when they could just do that because despite the allegedly casual nature of their relationship, they were both exclusively sleeping with each other. At the time, they both explained it away as being too busy and too famous to mess around with more people. In hindsight, it was all stupidly obvious they were both in it far deeper than they were willing to admit. Steve hadn’t been able to get back out in the scene since the split-up in Seattle—hell, he hadn’t even been looking for anything when Eddie had fallen into his lap the first time either, months ago at a different charity event, at the start of his father’s campaign. But Steve couldn’t expect Eddie to have stayed celibate, too.

“Eds, we haven’t—” Steve started, and Eddie looked him directly in the eye.

“I haven’t fucked anyone since our Seattle show,” he said meaningfully, his gaze unwavering. “Have you been tested?”

Steve let out a soft, sad sound, faced again with how badly he hurt Eddie, how poorly he read the entire situation. He’d truly done a number on Eddie, and Steve thanked whatever higher power that was listening for his second chance.

“Haven’t been with anyone since Seattle either,” Steve said, leaning forward to kiss Eddie’s lips sweetly.

Eddie scoffed at that and turned his face away, but Steve could tell he was grinning behind his hair. Grabbing the lube, Steve tried to pull back again so he could slick his cock up properly, but Eddie was still clinging to him too tightly.

“C’mon, Eds, just let me get my cock nice and slick, then you’ll have me, okay?” Steve sighed against Eddie’s ear, living for the way the man shuddered and moaned.

When his leg loosened enough for Steve to rock back, he poured a liberal amount of lube over his cock. Before Steve could finish putting the lube back on the shelf, one of Eddie’s cool hands wrapped around his cock. The moan that was punched out of him was deep and guttural, the sensation of a partner—of Eddie touching him again, fingers of a guitarist and clunky rings driving Steve wild.

Before Steve could really register it, he was fucking Eddie’s tight fist, pressing breathless, open-mouthed kisses against the sharp line of his jaw and groaning. Distantly, Steve could feel the touch changing, that Eddie wasn’t squeezing him as tightly, and then the head of his cock was nudging just behind Eddie’s sac, sliding further back and catching on the rim of his hole. On one pass, his cock slipped inside, just the tip, and Eddie dragged him closer with his leg around Steve’s waist.

Eddie’s cry as he was filled, hard and fast, was loud in the quiet of the study and Steve struggled to hold still, groaning thickly at the tight, perfect heat around him. Part of him wanted to take, the way he knew Eddie loved it, the way they would always have it before. But this was different, Steve knew that just on principle, but there was a certain charge to the air that brought tears to his eyes. Steve would wait a thousand years before moving if Eddie asked him to.

A cool hand cupped Steve’s cheek, smearing lube across his stubbled jaw and lifting his gaze to meet Eddie’s again.

Eddie’s eyes were shiny and bright in the dimly lit room, tears collecting on his lower lashes and so close to falling, his kiss-bitten, red lips hanging open and panting.

“Stevie,” Eddie breathed, the corners of his mouth ticking upward in something close to a smile, even as the next fluttering blink had the tears barely clinging to his lashes falling down his cheeks.

And Steve was helpless, staring up at the beautiful man in his arms, and he had to blink his own tears away as they blurred his vision. “Eds,” he said, not even bothering to hide just how awed and overwhelmed he was to have Eddie like this again. Steve made a promise to himself that he would make up for every single day he made this man feel unwanted, unworthy, unloved.

As if hearing his thoughts, Eddie sobbed and dropped his hand to Steve’s shoulder, pushing his undershirt aside to brush his thumb over a spot just below his collarbone—Eddie’s favourite freckle, the one that looked like a heart. 

“I love you, Stevie,” Eddie whimpered after a few moments of breathless staring, lowering his lips to hover over Steve’s.

“I love you, Eds,” Steve gasped immediately, breathless with the intensity of his feelings, and closed the distance between their lips.

They slotted together perfectly, Steve buried to the hilt inside him, their mouths moving languidly against each other while Eddie adjusted. After what felt like only a few seconds, Eddie lifted himself as much as he could before dropping back down on Steve’s cock with another cry.

It was as if a dam broke. The pace was frantic, fast, brutal even with Steve’s desperation and Eddie’s willing body, the sounds of bare skin slapping together filling the study and likely perfectly audible from the hallway if anyone wandered in this direction.

“Steve, Stevie, fu—fuck, Stevie, so good,” Eddie sobbed brokenly against Steve’s lips, not even pulling back to try and get a hand between them to touch himself. “Already so close, been so close all night. Please, Stevie, give it to me.”

“Gonna, baby, promise,” Steve gasped, and when Eddie’s hand flew up to hold onto a higher shelf, he reached up to tangle their fingers together. “Gonna give you everything you want, forever, never letting you go without ever again.”

Eddie sobbed and nodded furiously. “Damn right you a—ah, fuck, you are,” Eddie whimpered, readjusting his grip on the ladder to meet Steve’s thrusts, sweet little sounds getting punched out of him with every snap of their hips. “Never getting rid of me.”

“Perfect,” Steve grunted, the coil in his gut pulling taut as his release barreled forward. He could feel the way Eddie was clenching around him, knew he was barely hanging on, trying to outlast Steve.

“I’m your—oh! Your problem now,” Eddie added, throwing his head back with a shuddery cry as Steve changed the angle of his thrusts a bit.

“I’m yours, too,” Steve sighed almost dreamily as he thought about it, of a future together, maybe living out in Seattle in the eccentric little apartment Steve had only seen snapshots of in the various selfies Eddie had sent him. Of growing old together. Tears stung Steve’s eyes, which he tried to blink away again but there were too many. “I’m your problem, too,” he repeated weakly, his movements growing erratic as his release boiled in his gut.

“Yeah, yes, Stevie! Mine, you’re mine, mine,” Eddie keened, pulling his hand away from Steve’s so he could hold his cheek, wiping the tears from Steve’s cheek. “Say it, Stevie. What are you?”

“Yours,” Steve breathed, eyes rolling back as he willed his release back.

Eddie’s brief composure shattered, and he let out a loud whimper. “And what am I, Stevie?”

“Mine,” Steve answered immediately and angled his cock just so, driving the head of it directly over Eddie’s prostate and sending him tumbling over the edge with a surprisingly quiet cry considering how noisy he had been. Though Steve wasn’t looking, he could tell Eddie made a mess of them already, could feel the hot spend through the lace against his lower abdomen. 

The tight heat of Eddie’s core spasming and clenching around Steve’s cock was the last straw. Steve only managed a few more sloppy thrusts before he was coming, hips flush against Eddie’s ass and spilling his cum deep inside him.

They clung to each other while they caught their breath for what felt like hours, kissing each other slow and sweet, practically chaste after everything else they had done together. Eventually, Eddie pulled away, tipping his head back to look down at Steve, biting his lip and grinning.

“Can you say it again?” Eddie asked after a bit, his voice shaking nervously.

Steve grinned up at Eddie, lifting a hand to cup his cheek gently. “I’m yours, you’re mine,” he sighed dreamily. “I love you, Eddie Munson.”

“Jesus, I’m not gonna survive this,” Eddie half-laughed, half-sobbed as tears filled his eyes all over again. “I love you, Steve Harrington.”

It was that moment when they heard a gasp from the doorway of the study, and Steve froze. Eddie held onto him, not letting him pull away, but also not letting him turn around.

“Take a picture. It’ll last longer, sweetheart,” Eddie sneered, and whoever it was just squeaked and quickly retreated from the room.

Steve took a slow breath in through his nose. “Who was that?” he asked slowly, watching Eddie’s face closely as he grimaced.

“Listen, I’ve met her only twice, and both times I was distracted by you—”

“It was my dad’s assistant, wasn’t it?” Steve asked flatly and Eddie cringed.

“Yep,” Eddie confirmed, chewing his lip nervously.

Steve sighed, and nodded, and he was thankful there was an event happening downstairs because that was the only reason John wasn’t already storming into the room.

“What’re we gonna do?” Eddie asked, and Steve smiled up at him, willing his nerves away.

“Let’s go back to my place. Get you all cleaned up, maybe make love to you in a bed for once? Perhaps wake up next to you in the morning?” Steve suggested, grinning broader as Eddie flushed and turned his face away.

“I meant right now, Steve,” Eddie said, shifting where he was still pinned against the bookshelf.

“Yeah, so did I,” Steve said, his expression softening. “Seriously, Eds, let’s go back to my place.”

“You’re just—You’re okay going down there? With your dipshit dad probably knowing about us?” Eddie asked incredulously, eyes wide and hopeful.

“Yep. No time like the present to get disowned, right?” Steve said, and even if he worded it like a joke, he was dead serious. Eddie seemed to believe Steve this time, and a smile split his face.

“As if your piece of shit dad won’t figure out a way to spin this for his campaign,” Eddie teased and lowered his mouth to Steve’s for a slow, contented kiss. When Eddie pulled back, he grinned mischievously. “You should wear my coat out, and I’ll wear yours.”

Steve’s eyes lit up and he nodded quickly. “You’re a genius, Eds,” he sighed, leaning up to recapture Eddie’s lips.

[ READ ON AO3 ]

[kiss-my-freckle]

Do you think Stefan and Elena are much alike that's why their relationship didn't work?

Very much so, yes. But I consider their shared heroism being their #1 killer. Elena is the type of person to sacrifice herself for her loved ones. She sacrifices herself because she doesn't want Bonnie to die in season 2. She sacrifices herself because she doesn't want Matt to die in season 3. I'm 100% certain she'd sacrifice herself for Caroline. I feel her approach to Damon in the first season is enough proof. Despite knowing how dangerous he is, she slaps the hell out of him when Vicki dies. She betrays him because she believes he'll set the other 26 vampires loose and she wants to protect Mystic Falls.

Compassion and empathy are different. Elena is the kind of person that feels the pain of others, even people who aren't close to her. That's why I often say, Stefan may not have hurt her loved ones like Damon has, but he certainly hurt her just in ripping up and down the eastern seaboard. Just listen to her talk to Alaric about it in 6x2. She feels everyone's grief in 4x2. And I do mean everyone's. When fans see scenes like Memorial, they have to know that she also feels everything Damon feels, which makes her better understand him. That's why she speaks about Damon doing everything for love in 1x13. But compassion isn't just understanding. It's the desire to act on that understanding. That's why she's speaking for April's father, constantly comforting Damon. She wants to ease the pain, get them through it, spread on the sunshine.

Stefan puts his heroism above everything. This is what happens in 2x22, and essentially why he loses Elena. He didn't have to leave town. I know fans like to believe he spent the summer with Klaus to save Damon, but he didn't. There's a truth sitting in the scene when Elena texts Stefan. He went from playing hero to save Damon to playing hero to protect Elena. That's how bad he is with his heroism. He left town with Klaus to protect her. When Damon realized what Stefan was doing, which he didn't realize until 3x2, he outwardly says as much. "He's an insufferable martyr that needs his ass kicked." Damon wasn't complimenting him, he was pissed. That's why he acted like a caveman when he came off the mountain, then turned around and took Elena to Chicago. Stefan didn't need to stay with Klaus, he was choosing to. Even when Elena begged him, this girl that is just as much a hero as he is, he refused to come home. Klaus had to bring him home. Because Stefan only comes home when Klaus brings him home... he loses Elena, and I very much mean this. Stefan went from Damon's heart to Elena's.

I consider 3x5 her un-fall. When he really lost her to Damon.

Forgiveness, denial, vampirism... Stelena shares those similarities, but they differ in degree. Elena doesn't spend 145 years denying she fell in love with Damon as Stefan did Katherine. It takes her a little less than a year to admit the truth. I know fans like to believe his denial is all due to how Katherine treated him, but no. Stefan and Elena have more parallels than people think. If he fell in love with Katherine, what does that say about him. He can be upset all he wants over the fact that he had to be compelled to drink her blood, but being compelled doesn't change the fact that he actually fell in love with a vampire. And not just any vampire. Katherine Pierce. The same vampire that had Rose and Trevor on the run for 500 years. The same vampire that sent 26 of her friends to die in a church fire. The same vampire that wanted him to kill his own brother. He fell in love with her, so what does that say about him. And it's not just Katherine. What does it say about him sleeping with Rebekah, the very girl that literally killed Elena and turned her into a vampire. Elena, who flat-out told him she never wanted to be a vampire. "I don't hurt people. I don't do that. I'm the good brother." It's the same for Elena. What does it say about her falling in love with Damon. The good sister falling in love with the bad brother. The girl people looked up to being judged because of who she loves.

Damon is different. Unlike Stefan, he hasn't lived since 1864. Fans have to know this just in listening. There is no job or home to think about for him because he built his life around Katherine. Damon spent 145 years with only one goal. That tomb was his home and opening it was his job. That's why Damon is feasting on humans in his flashbacks, while Stefan's living a human life in his. Damon has yet to live, and heroes die. He will not die unless he has to. He will not risk his life unless he has to. If he had to, he'd die for Stefan and Elena, and die for them even on his worst day. But he very much wants to live, and because he wants to live, he'll work every angle he can to make sure he does. I will say that he sorta hates playing the hero. He'd rather Elena be his equal. This has a lot to do with what he told her at the motel. He doesn't like expectations. They lead to disappointment. He won't always be the hero, the good guy. He's a vampire, a predator. He doesn't want to disappoint her specifically. Bonnie gets included in this concept with his letter later in the series, but yeah... he'd rather fight with Elena than for her. "I wish you didn't have to fight at all." And while I can appreciate Stefan's optimism, I don't agree with him in 1x12. Fighting is part of human life, and she's knowingly dating a vampire, so fighting will certainly be a huge part of her life.

Stelena's other similarities are also every bit why she's so drawn to Damon. They're opposites, but similar in their opposites, so they really complete each other. It's because he challenges her, surprises her, makes her question everything. The world isn't so black and white. It's gray. Selfishness isn't always bad and selflessness isn't always good. A right time and wrong time to put yourself first. And on that note...

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

Sorry I pulled a long one lol

[chemiste]

a flower to the sun ~ h.s.

masterlist

tattoo design

You were about three shots in when Vicky decided it would be a good idea to play Bet On It with you and your friends at the bar. 

The girls and you were in the rich, wealthy side of LA where all the fat lawyers and trust fund babies went to hang out. Sure, it wasn't really your scene being college students who could barely afford one drink but fortunately some of those fat lawyers thought y'all were pretty cute and would just send drinks over your way; all you had to do was smile and wave and the deed was done. 

“What's Bet On It?” Eve asked as she sipped her Blue Martini. 

“I’ll explain it, Bet On It is where we pose a challenge for you to go do and if you succeed we owe you a favor!” Christy exclaimed with excitement for the game, you giggled and nodded.

“Okay I'm ready let's go!” You shouted happily, slamming the bottom of your fourth shot back down onto the table as a declaration. 

“Lydia, I bet my favorite cherry lipstick you won't go get the bartender's number.” You said. 

Lydia blushed immensely as the girls giggled. She glanced slightly over her shoulder to see the tall blue haired bartender strut around serving drinks. Lydia's eye had been on her for a while and it was only a matter of time until one of the girls egged her on to go for it. 

Lydia sighed and took another shot from the table then walked over. The girls all cheered as they watched her approach the bar nervously and immediately start hitting it off of the bartender. 

“Okay, I think we can bet she won't be back for a while so let's continue.” Christy said with a chuckle. Vic glanced around at the four of you then finally settled her eyes on your form. 

“I pick... Y/N!” she said. 

The girls oohed as Vicky looked around the room thinking of a challenge she could use for you. She gasped as her eye caught something and looked back at you. 

“I dare you to walk up to that guy over there and ask to get a tattoo with him!”

 All three of you immediately snapped your heads to see who she was pointing at. 

Over in the corner at a secluded table with a few other people was a tall man wearing sunglasses on his head, a white T-shirt and flared blue jeans with heeled boots peeking out from under the hem. 

He looked to have a bunch of tattoos down one side of his arm and a couple on the other, hence the reason Vicki picked him. He looked pretty hot for only the side of his body... which might have been another factor. 

You turned back to her eyes wide open, “Oh my gosh I could never!” 

You laughed, swirling your finger on the top of the pink cocktail you had in front of you. Vicki blew raspberry at you. 

“Tell you what, if you can go and at least ask him for the tattoo without falling into a fit of giggles I will let you wear-- no I will let you have the purple high heels you always steal from me whenever we go to the bar downtown”. 

At that, you immediately stood from your stool, “All right I will be back ladies! Maybe with a tattoo and maybe a bruised ego, we don't know, we shall see.” 

The girls giggled as you finished one of the many drinks on the table before heading over, a little liquid courage helping your nerves. You were pleasantly drunk at the moment so this might have not been your best idea but you were halfway over, no turning back now. 

Just as you reach the man you realize that he looked a little familiar, his side profile looked out of this world, immortal, like Zeus had sculpted it for himself or something.

You push that thought aside, thinking that it was just the alcohol and tapped him on the shoulder. A look flashed through his eyes that seemed a little anxiety-ridden but it was soon gone when you started out your next sentence. 

“Hey, I know I'm a total stranger but will you go get a matching tattoo with me?”

You swayed a little in your spot and reached out to grab his forearm to put a steady hold on yourself. Instinctively, he wrapped his arm around your waist to keep you from falling over.

“Wait what?”

He responded while sizing you up, wondering if you were insane. 

You nodded eagerly, “yeah I've always wanted one but I'm kind of a pussy and so I've never been able to finally go in with a sketch I like and my friends over at that table bet for me to come ask a stranger if I would get a tattoo with them because it be the only way I could get one cause I would have someone else to decide with and they pointed you out so I'm here now.” 

The man fully turned to you and damn you were so happy that Vicki had a 6th sense because this man was gorgeous. He had so many little tattoos from your glance to his arm still wrapped around you that somehow all worked together seamlessly on his skin. 

His eyes were just so sparkly; the green in them made you mesmerized. He really did look familiar so you're asked.  

“Hey do I know you from somewhere?” 

The man in front of you seemed to straighten out a little, tensing under the scrutiny of your eyes scanning him. 

He reached up to rub the back of neck, “maybe you've seen me… I don't know I could have just one of those faces.” You were still not convinced but it didn't really matter. 

“All right, but you better not be a serial killer or something shady like that,” you clasped your hands together in front of you, “Tattoo with me; yes or no.” You asked again. 

The man looked back to his group slightly, the eyes of a couple of his friends there subtly watching the situation play out. They all looked very amused and you couldn't blame them, you probably looked like a lunatic. But, the boy in front of you turned back with a smile and cackled. 

“Why not!” 

He stated and you threw your hands up and cheered, “Great! Do you by any chance know a tattoo shop anywhere?” You questioned him as he put money on the table, and started walking with you through the crowded club. 

“Yeah we're really close to Sunset Boulevard, I think I know a place.” You reached for his hand as he pushed through the crowded dance floor, afraid you might lose the handsome stranger in front of you. 

Right as y'all got to the door, you waved back your friends who hollered out in their excitement. 

You were gobsmacked at the crazy situation. 

The handsome man in front of you was going to get a matching tattoo with you. 

A tattoo. 

Once you made it outside, you realized that trusting the man in front of you might not be the safest idea but your brain was still a little fuzzy and he looked kind so... you just went with that. 

You crossed the intersection and started walking down Sunset Boulevard, the man next to you shying away from any glazing eyes that came upon his face as you walked. Thankfully it was dark enough that no one seemed to stop and chat with either of you but you wouldn't even know why they would want to. Maybe they just thought he was hot like you did. 

“Hey, so what's your name?” You asked, realizing that calling him gorgeous in your head wasn't going to solve many problems. 

“Oh I'm Harry.” He answered. 

“Y/N, nice to meet you!” 

“You too.” 

“I swear though, are you like a Walmart clothing model of sorts, I swear I feel like I've seen your face... I don't think I could forget your face, it's pretty perfect.” You stuttered once you realized what you had said. Harry just chuckled and squeezed your hand that he was still holding. 

In no time, he was opening a door and leading you into a tattoo parlor that had a giant Shamrock on the door sign. The people in there seemed very important, all either drinking out of diamond encrusted glasses or smoking huge cigars, the farther back in the bar you went, the more like you felt you shouldn't have been there. 

He led you through a couple doors making you realize he probably knew the place better than he led you to believe. 

He knocked on a door in the back; a man opened the door a few moments later and looked up at you and Harry. His eyes lit up and he pulled Harry into a hug. 

“Hey H, been a long time! How are you?” 

“I'm doing well. We want to get a tattoo,” Harry said to the tattoo artist as you both walked into the room. 

The artist nodded his head, “sure, sure, what's your name love?” You realized he was talking to you after a moment as you had been mesmerized with all the pretty designs on the wall. 

“My name is Y/N and this will be my first tattoo so I'm very excited!” 

He chuckled slightly at your enthusiasm and introduced himself, “My name’s Freddy.”

The walk sobered you up a little bit so you decided while the boys were chatting to go through a couple of the designs. There were flowers, arrows, boats, people, eyes, names; basically anything you could ask for. 

As you flipped through the tattoo sheets, H set his phone down on the counter to help his friend grab something from a top shelf. You looked over to his phone case and something on the cover caught your eye. Glancing over your shoulder, the two men were engrossed in a quiet conversation. Your curiosity got the better of you and you reached out to slide the phone closer. 

Upon further inspection, you could see that between the phone and the clear case was a slightly wrinkled piece of paper with a small poem scribbled out on it. 

She fell so naturally into my arms

Like a flower to the sun. 

~ Atticus

“Harry?” 

“Hm?” He turned back to you, one eyebrow raised slightly when he noticed his phone in your hands. 

“What about this?” 

Harry walked over and took the phone back, looking at the small poem and then back to you. 

“Are you sure?” He asked hesitantly, you nodded while you rang your hands together, teetering back and forth on the balls of your heels. 

“Unless it’s too important to you, I totally respect that.” 

H shook his head when you said that. “No, it’s actually kind of perfect.” 

You smiled his response, both of you taking a moment to relish in the fact that you were actually doing this. Harry popped the phone case off and pulled the small note out, handing it to the tattoo artist. 

Freddy looked down at it, “Do you guys want it typed out? Or written like this?”

 “Maybe typed out would be nice, like a subtle cursive.” You nodded along with Harry’s comment. 

Freddy walked over to the computer to type it out on the poem for the pre-ink outline. 

“So how do you want this?” Harry asked you as you both sat down on the small couch in the corner of the room. 

Taking a hold of his arm, you turned it, examining all his tattoos and spaces left unmarked. You looked at his right arm and pointed to the inside of his forearm. 

“We could each get a line of the poem right here?” 

Harry and you looked at each other with grins on your faces. 

“Well you did drunkenly stumble into me at the bar so it’s only right I have the first one.” You rolled your eyes and chuckled, “Then I’ll get the second one.” 

A quiet beep! alerted both of you to Freddy who held two small sheets in his hand. 

“Who’d like to go first?” 

You raised your hand and let out a quick breath, “I’m gonna go before I second guess myself.” Both of the men chucked at your statement while you hopped up onto the tattoo chair in the center of the room. 

Freddy pulled your right arm over onto a small table he lowered to the perfect height and wiped it down with an alcohol wipe before applying the outline. 

“You like it?” He asked, checking for your approval. 

You gave him a thumbs up and he got the tattoo gun fired up. You tensed at the noise, becoming more aware that this would probably be pretty painful. Leaning your head back, you squeezed your eyes shut and tried to breathe normally. 

A gentle hand rested on your thigh, “Hey,” Harry said quietly, causing you to open your eyes and turn to him. 

“I’m a little bit scared, needles aren’t my thing.” 

You whispered, eyes flitting over to Freddy who now was testing the gun out before holding your arm down. 

Another hand turned your chin away from the tattoo artist and your eyes rested upon a much closer Harry. 

“Just look at me the whole okay? It’ll feel like a long pinch but I promise it will be over before you know it. Just squeeze my hand when it hurts okay?” 

You swallowed and nodded and heard a small ‘3,2,1’ and then a weird tingling sensation on your forearm. You gasped slightly and Harry went to wrap his arm over you so you wouldn’t move. He smiled and nodded encouragingly, maintaining eye contact with you the whole time. 

It was nice and… a lot more of an intimate gesture than you’d experience with someone in months. 

You looked at his face, seeing the stubble that hadn’t broken through the surface of the skin, the small mole by his lip, the bit of blue at the bottom of his left iris. 

He was remarkably captivating to say the least. A sweet blush appeared on his cheeks, “Thank you.” 

“Oh, did I say that out-loud? Oops.” 

You both giggled slightly, trying not to move too much for Freddy’s sake.

 “You’re pretty captivating too.” 

Now it was your turn to blush. 

After what seemed like only 10 minutes, Freddy was giving you the “all done!” You finally looked over to your arm and grinned like a maniac. 

“I love it!” You showed H and he nodded approvingly. 

“Now, up! It’s my turn.” He whined, you laughed while Freddy wrapped your forearm and re-cleaned his tools. Harry didn’t even flinch at the needle but you still held his hand for moral support. 

While his thumb rubbed your hand back and forth, you used your available hand to lightly trace his other tattoos with your finger tip. 

“Do any of these have special meaning to you?” You questioned, scrunching your brow with you saw Late Late scribbled into his skin. 

He shrugged, “I mean some of them do but others I just really liked.” 

You sighed, “I think tattoos are really interesting but I never can pick something I really like… I’m always afraid I’d hate it later.” 

“What about the one you just got then?” Harry asked, a bit of concern filling his features. 

You gave him a small smile, looking down as if you’d become more bashful. 

“No uh, I’m quite happy with it. I’m glad I was able to get it with someone.” 

You cleared your throat and looked into his eyes more intently, “Harry-- Thank you for doing this, you didn’t have to at all but I appreciate it.” 

“Honestly, I’m glad you fell into my arms, I needed some more ink and this seemed like fate.” 

The buzzing suddenly stopped so you looked over to the complete tattoo. 

“There you go H, another tattoo in the bag!” Harry got up from the chair and you both went to compare tattoos under the big light in the corner. 

“You want a photo?” Freddy asked as he put the final piece of machinery back. Harry handed his phone over to him and you took the wrapping off for the picture. 

Harry set a hand on your waist to move you in front of him and stretched your arm out with his to show off the full poem on both of your right arms. 

“You ready?” He mumbled into your hair and you let out a shaky, “yea”. 

I mean, who’s gonna blame you? A fine-ass man had just pressed you into his front and spoke to you like you were a diamond. Freddy snapped a few pictures and handed the phone back, note now back in its original home. 

Your eyebrows shot up in realization, “Oh! Who do I pay for this?” You asked Freddy, but he just looked to Harry who stuck his hands up in surrender when you frowned a bit. 

“I may or may not have already taken care of it?” 

“Harry!” 

“I know, I know! Don’t worry it’s not that big of an expense for me I promise.” 

You lightly smacked him on the chest, eyes widening guess a bit from the feeling of a very toned pec. 

“Well still, I owe you big time! I made you get a tattoo with me and now you’ve paid for it, literally. Lets go get food or something!” 

You didn’t let him get a word in before you were waving by to Freddy and tugging him out of the bar and down the street to your favorite diner on the strip. 

You opened the door and gallantly gestured for him to enter, “After you.” 

He tipped a pretend hat to you and entered. It was nearly empty since it was around midnight but there were a few stragglers at the counter, probably nursing the pre-headache of a major night out. 

Harry did the thing again of tucking his head down and led you to a booth in the corner, sitting down in the seat facing the wall. You slid in onto the worn red leather seat and turned the menu to H, pointing on one of the meal choices. 

“I always get this one and a chocolate milkshake, but you can get anything.” 

“Nope that sounds good, an All American Burger is always appreciated even if I’m not a big meat eater.” 

You put the menu to the side and flagged the one waitress in the room, “Are you a vegetarian?” 

“No I’m a pescatarian but not for allergy reasons so I can easily cheat the diet.” 

You chuckled at that and turned when the waitress made it over to your table. She looked to be around your age and very tired judging by the ketchup stain on her apron and the state of her bun. 

Upon her glance to Harry, her eyes lit up with recognition but she kept a professional nature and stuttered out, “W-What can I get you?” 

“Two number 4’s please and two chocolate shakes.” 

You answered, looking back and forth between a strangely bashful Harry and amazed waitress. 

“Uh, yeah of course.” She mumbled and left, but not before taking a double look at H.

You quietly slammed your hands onto the table, “Okay, what’s up? That reaction was super bizarre.” 

You leaned back against the booth and crossed your arms (being careful to not hurt your new tattoo) and raised an eyebrow, “You definitely are more important than you led me to believe. So what are you? A Tom Ford model or something?” 

Harry met your eyes with a small smirk, dimples popping through. 

“Well, I do use Tom Ford cologne.” 

You rolled your eyes, “Oh come on, so you are a model! What do you model for?” 

“I--uh, have modeled for Gucci a bit but not a lot.” 

“No shit that's pretty cool.” You leaned forward across the table closing the space between y’all considerably. 

“Does this mean that our waitress will probably ask for your autograph before we leave?” You asked in a whisper. 

He did the neck rub tick again, “Maybe a picture, I don’t know.” 

“Wow so you are a hit! What else have you modeled for?�� 

“Um well--” 

“Here’s your food,” the waitress interrupted, setting down your plates and the two shakes, you lit up like a kid at Christmas and took a big slip of your shake before giving a thumbs up to the girl in front of you who was still not-so-subtly staring at H. 

You fake-coughed and that seem to snap her out of the trance she was in. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry it’s just-- I wanted to say I was at the Greek Theatre last Wednesday and you were amazing!” 

Harry’s posture released and he smiled, “Thank you so much darling, that’s very nice of you.” 

“Would you mind signing something for me? Only if thats okay!” 

Harry nodded and she quickly fumbled her phone out and-- 

“Harry, your face is on her phone cover?!” 

You sudden exclamation of this caused the girl to go bright red but Harry just kept smiling that scribbled below himself on the pink border as if to not cover up the face. 

“Here you go.” 

“Thank you!” She swiftly skittered away and you looked at H with an explain right now look. 

“I may or may not have undersold myself?” 

“You think? What did she mean about the theatre? Are you a performer as well?” 

You picked up your burger and took a bite, still watching and waiting for the answer. Harry let out a breath and took a couple fries from the plate, popping them into his mouth and chewing, giving him a couple second to figure out how to tell you. 

“Did you ever listen to boy bands in high-school?” 

“Uh, not necessarily, I do remember a few radio songs that the band would always play at pep rallies and football games.” 

“Okay, do you think you could name those songs?” 

You took a sip of your shake and nodded, “Yeah, um, there was Roar by Katy Perry, uh-- Royals by Lorde, and Oh! Best Song Ever by--” 

“One Direction.” He answered for you. 

“I’m still not following, are you one of the boys in the band or something?” 

Harry just took a bite of his burger. 

“Oh damn, are you serious?” 

He nodded, you were pretty surprised and a little disappointed in yourself cause of course you knew 1D, Eve had been obsessed with them in high-school. Maybe you didn’t connect the two is because you were used to seeing the sweet 16 year old face on the Eve’s cover of J-14 instead of this fine-ass man in front of you. 

You laughed as a thought hit you, “Wait, so I remember a little about the band... You guys separated right? Does this mean you were performing solo on Wednesday?!” 

“Oh, uh, yeah.” 

You smiled brightly and squeezed his hand resting on the table, “That must be so cool, how are you feeling about it? Everything fun? I bet being on stage is great... All your fans singing with you!” 

He grinned, “Actually it’s been so different but still amazing, it was only my second show by myself but the same adrenaline rush from the first one. I miss the lads but honestly it’s great to be singing my writings now.” 

“Do you think I’d know any of your music?” You asked, pulling your phone out of your back pocket and typing in his name to Spotify. 

Embarrassment flooded your system when you realized you only knew his first name. Begrudging you asked, “Hey, can I get a last name for the search?” 

His eyes widened a bit but not in a judging way but more of a please way. 

“Styles.” 

“Oh wow, you really are a rock star with that name.” 

You scrolled through his page and clicked the first one in the album. 

“Meet Me In The Hallway… no way, I think I’ve got this on a chill playlist.” 

You both ate while listening to a couple of his songs play from your phone on the sticky table. It was nice, just enjoying each others presence. It could’ve been weird since you’d only met a few hours ago but getting a tattoo together had bonded y’all in more ways than you’d thought. 

“Oh shit, is it okay that you got a new tattoo? Is twitter gonna break or something now that you have half a poem with a weird girl from a club?” 

Harry let out a big laugh that had your insides feeling warm. 

“It’s alright, I don’t think they’ll freak out too badly.” 

You swirled your straw around, slurping up the leftovers, “You underestimate fangirls Mister Styles.” 

He hummed in agreement and finished his food. Right before you went to the counter to pay, your phone buzzed a couple times.

the girls!

Vic: Y/N you didn’t die did you?

Nope! No kidnapping victim here!

I got the tattoo!

Christy: WHAT

Eve: OMG YOU DID!!!

Christy: VICKI LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE

Vic: i’m proud

Lol y’all are too much

Eve: We’re gonna leave the club and head home, did you need a ride back with us?

Nah, I’m just hanging with my tattoo buddy so I’;; text y’all when i’m heading home.

Eve: Okay we love you!

Christy: love u

Vic: are you gonna get some?!!?

Lydia: WAIT WHAT HAVE I MISSED?

You blushed at Vicky’s crude comment and stuck your phone back in your pocket. It was easy slipping out of the dinner and onto the street. 

“Where’s your next show?” You asked. 

“I’m off to Nashville the day after tomorrow.” 

“Wow, so your tour is revving up isn’t it?” 

He nodded. 

“Where do you think your favorite place is scheduled on the tour?” 

“I’m quite excited for the O2 Arena in England.” 

“Fun, when you get back we could catch up if you wanted, I mean we are tattoo buddies now so it only seems right.” 

Harry agreed happily and you put your number in and your nickname as ‘tattoo soulmate’ with a stupid profile picture taken quickly on the street. 

“Do you think you could send me those picture of the tattoos? I won’t post them or anything cause I don’t really want your PR hunting me down but I’d like to have them for the memory.” 

“Yeah no problem, it’s not that big of a deal if you post it, but you just need to know that you might get harassed by noisy fans and as much as I hate to say it, stalked by paparazzi just for being a new friend of mine.” 

Harry’s face had shifted into something ridden with guilt so you just gave him a comforting smile and rested your hand on his shoulder, “Don’t worry, a friend of mine is studying in Public Relations and Media so I understand.” 

A few seconds later, an unknown number bing!ed your phone and the pictures came rolling in. 

“Say cheese!” You called out suddenly, catching Harry with a surprised expression for his profile picture. 

You looked at the small clock at the top and scrunched your nose at the late time displayed on the LED screen. 

You looked up at Harry, “Do you happen to know where I could get a taxi that’s not gonna murder me at this time in this section of LA?” 

“I’ll take you home.” 

Waving your arms in denial, you said, “No I couldn’t let you do that. I’d only be putting you out of your way.” 

“Nonsense, my car is back at the club and trust me, I’m your safest driver tonight.” 

Well, he did have a point. 

“Ugh, I’m gonna end up owning you my first born if this keeps up like this aren’t I?” 

You got back to his car in pretty good time, thanks to his long legs and your naturally fast pace. 

“Oh course it’s a Range Rover.” You mumbled, earning a laugh for the rockstar getting into the driver’s seat. You gave him your address and off you both went.

You lived in a house with the girls. It was close to UCLA where you all went. The house had been this horrible tan color when you all first got there but quickly painted it a light blue that always looked so pretty against the sunset skies of Los Angeles. 

Your room was the last one on the left upstairs and throughout your college years it had been re-decorated many a times. Right now there was a calm blue on the walls, queen bed in the corner by the window and various art pieces and magazine cutouts taped on the wall above your desk. 

You had a dresser against the wall by the door and then pictures. Lots of pictures on the wall to the right, many of them where some you’d taken with friends and others were landscapes and stranger shots in LA. It was a fun hobby to have and it helped that you’d been able to sell a lot of them to shutter shock for some extra cash. 

Harry pulled in next to the curb and you unblocked yourself, turning towards him fully. 

“Thank you so much for the ride, it would have been a bitch to find transportation tonight.” 

“Don’t worry darling, not a problem.” 

You grinned, “Let me know when you’re back in town and we can catch up if you want.” 

Harry let out a content sigh, “I’d like that.” 

You hopped out of the car and ran up the steps. He waited for you to unlock the door and step through the threshold before driving off. You giggled to yourself quietly and closed the door, re-locking it. 

With heels in one hand, you crept up the stairs quickly and into your room. After getting ready for bed, you heard a small bing! from your phone you had plugged in on your night stand. 

You crawled under the covers before grabbing it. 

tattoo buddy

H: you got inside alright? x

yup! thanks for the ride btw

H: of course x

good luck at your next show!!

H: :) x

night tattoo buddy 

H: night x

And with that, you turned off the light.

masterlist

a/n : i was thinking a 2nd part but i wanted to know y’all ideas if you have somewhere you’d like the story to go. lmk in the comments if you’ve got an idea

[thephantomofthe-internet]

Read into Me Chapter 5: Romeo and Juliet

Steve Harrington x Reader

CATCH UP ON THE SERIES HERE

Words: 2,955

Warnings: Swearing, slut shaming, bullying mention

Tag List: @divinity-deos @thecaptainsgingersnap​ @wolfish-willow​ @scoopsohboi​ @herre-gud-nej​ @clockworkballerina​ @maddie1504​ @i-am-trash-so-much-its-scary​ @banjino-in-the-hole @buckysarge​ @wildcvltre​ @stanleyyelnatsiii​ @unusuallchildd @n3wtscaseofniffler5​ @peterparxour @alwaysstressedout @linkispink1995​ @asharpkniffe​ @a-big-ball-of-idk​ @used-avocado​ @mochminnie​ @sledgy14​ @the-creative-lie​ @yall-wildin-like-siriusly​ @ggclarissa​

After that afternoon, you spent practically every day after school with Steve, either in his bedroom or the library. It was weirdly nice. You didn’t always talk; mostly you worked in silence, Steve answering English questions or doing work for other classes and you doodling. You’d finished the sketch of Steve you’d started in his bedroom the same night you’d started it. You were actually quite proud of it; you’d managed to get the shadows on his face to make his face look hollow and strange, not beautiful like it usually appeared. And yes, you were comfortable with calling him beautiful. You found a lot of your subjects beautiful, they all fit into an easy collection of strong, attractive faces that could be found in Hawkins. Hawkins Most Beautiful: the collections of portraits labelled themselves.

Steve called you fairly often as well; usually on the days when you didn’t meet up he’d call so he’d have someone to keep him company as he worked. He seemed lonely to you. From your conversations, you learned little of his supposed friends, but you learned a fair bit about his family. Both his parents were rarely home. His father worked in the city and kept an apartment there, keeping him as far away from home as possible most of the time. His mother was home more often, but kept her hours in certain places, leaving him home alone most of the time. So it seemed, he was ignored past the age of twelve. You sympathized with that, your own parents weren’t exactly present, albeit for different reasons. He asked you a lot about Samantha, which didn’t bother you; you could talk about her far more than you could yourself.

“I can’t honestly say that I even really know her…” Steve laughed. You were sat in his bedroom one evening, the sun setting in creamy red swirls, ominous strawberry pieces in homemade ice cream. Sweet and yet worrying for reasons beyond you for the time being. You were sat at his desk, leaning back in his desk chair, turning left and right. Steve was sprawled out on his mattress, feet kicking beyond him casually, his papers spread out in front of him.

“Yeah, she doesn’t really associate with some of your friends. Tina isn’t really our biggest fan…” you replied, smiling softly. The memory of Samantha dumping a miniature carton of chocolate milk on her head in the seventh grade flashed through your mind, her shrill screech making you chuckle.

“Oh yeah? What’s up her ass?” Steve asked, turning onto his side to look at you fully. He looked incredibly posed and uncomfortable, his head placed in his palm and his ankles stacked neatly one on top of the other.

“They used to be best friends, before I showed up. Once I was on the scene, Tina decided that I was someone to bully and Samantha decided that she wanted to be my friend. They fell out because of it and Tina started bothering both of us. She stopped once we were in middle school.” You explained, pulling one of your knees to your chest.

“Tina’s a bitch…” Steve muttered, shaking his head solemnly.

“She’s got such a thing for you.” You chuckled, watching as his face coloured. You continued “Vicki too…they want you so bad.”

“How’d you know?” Steve scoffed, rolling his eyes dramatically. His face was still pink, it was almost adorable.

“Oh my god, they spend every class with their heads so far up your ass!” you linked your fingers together and pulled them under your chin. You batted your lashes at him with wide eyes, starting into an imitation of Tina “Oh…Stevie, tell me more about your basketball game…oh Stevie you’re soooo strong!”

Steve pulled the pillow from the head of his bed, throwing it at your head. “Oh shut up!” he groaned. You caught the pillow, chucking it back at him, smacking him square in the face.

Steve was great to hang out with. But that sort of friendship didn’t seem to transition outside the privacy of his bedroom. In school, the rules of social interaction began again. Steve returned to the arms of Tommy H and Carol, whose attentions flip between him and Billy Hargrove, and Samantha kept you busy with her questions, her arm wrapped tightly around your shoulders, squeezing you tightly into your side. And every time you passed Steve, she cracked a joke in your ear that turned you beet red.

In truth, it was clear that Samantha did not believe you when you told her that nothing was going on between the two of you. She had already decided that the pair of you were in some sort of torrid affair of Shakespearian depths. She seemed to earnestly believe that it was some secret, clandestine romance was happening behind closed doors. You didn’t really understand what she was imagining; it didn’t make sense to you. Steve was far too obviously interested in other people to be doing anything with you. You tried to point out all the girls who hung off his arm whenever she tried to embarrass you about it, but she didn’t see it.

“What you’re missing,” she said through a massive bite of cafeteria shepherd’s pie “Is that all those girls pay attention to him, but he doesn’t pay attention to them.”

“If we were having an affair, don’t you think that I would tell you about it? I tell you everything anyway.” You retorted, rolling your eyes at her.

“You didn’t tell me about Byers until I weaseled it out of you. That’s what I’m doing right now.” Samantha replied with a shrug, mushing her meal together with her plastic fork until it was a disgusting shade of brown, golden corn accenting the pile.

Talking about Jonathan Byers wasn’t fair and she knew it. In short, there was nothing to talk about. You’d had a small, teeny tiny practically nonexistent crush on the boy a year prior, but it was very clear that he didn’t like you back. Samantha had gone to Tina’s party in October, right as your crush was subsiding, and she’d told you that he was all over Nancy Wheeler. You’d had your suspicions about it, but hearing that he’d gone after someone else’s girlfriend and rejected you along the way hurt. Even though you weren’t interested, it still hurt. Samantha was still annoyed that you hadn’t told her about it until it was over, and since it was the only source of knowledge she had on your comatose love life, she brought it up all the time, much to your chagrin.

“All I do with him is sit in his room and help him study. And when I say help him study, I mean literally help him study, we do the chapter studies together and discuss the stupid book.” You said. That wasn’t the whole story; you talked a lot about life and listened to music. You were confident in saying that you were friends by now. You’d almost met his mother twice, both times in passing, and that seemed pretty important to friendships, when their family knew who you were. Still, it didn’t break into school. Steve stayed with his clique and while you tried to stray from yours, Carol or Tina would always scare you off before you spent too much time with Steve. It didn’t take much to scare you, a mere gaze could send you packing, and those two had been mastering the annoyed sneer since the fifth grade.

“Yeah, well you don’t see what I see…” Samantha muttered, turning her attention away from you and onto the loud clique at the centre of the room. Billy Hargrove was show boating, as usual, with Tina and Macy practically drooling onto their lunch trays. Vicki was trying to get Steve’s attention, her thin, spidery fingers gripping onto his wrists, speaking animatedly into his ear. Steve wasn’t facing her though; his whole body was turned away from her, and directly towards your table. Samantha noticed how he watched where you went, it’s why she thoroughly believed that something was going on beyond the surface, something even you might not realize. She knew what a person looked like when they were love struck. Often times, from the outside, it was easier to see when someone was in love with someone else before she could catch onto who actually liked her. She’d watched the women she yearned for fall in love with boring, lame men enough times to have mastered the signs of how men fall for girls. And Steve showed all the non-verbal signs. She couldn’t get a full read on you yet though.

Tommy had caught onto to Steve’s strange behaviour just as fast as Samantha had, although he wasn’t nearly as impressed. You were simply not worth the effort. Not by a long shot. You were fucking lame-never at the parties, never at dances, never at the lake on the weekends. And he knew you had money, you could afford to do all those things, you were just too much of a pussy to show your face. That was fucking pathetic! He knew his friend better than anyone else and a chick who couldn’t hang was not the girl for him. Steve liked fun girls, girls who could turn up for a last minute thing and not be weird about it. Nancy Wheeler was the farthest Steve needed to go on the preppy nerd scale, and that bitch ended up being a massive slut! Like nobody expected that shit. But Tommy knew that you didn’t have any surprises up your sleeves. Despite the fact that you never talked, he knew that you were plain about who you were. Everything was on the surface, and what he saw was not worth his friend’s time.

“Steve, buddy, I’m gonna go get another milk, walk with me.” Tommy motioned him over. Steve followed blindly, if only to get Vicki’s cold, clammy hand off him. Tommy had seen The Godfather one too many times and seemed to believe that he was some sort of small town mob boss, but Steve didn’t really mind following along with him flights of fancy. Usually they were pretty funny.

Tommy wrapped an arm around his taller friend’s shoulders, lowering his voice from the onlooker’s ears. “Listen, buddy, you gotta tell me what’s going up with that Y/N chick I mean you just keep staring at her it’s freaking weird, dude.”

“Y/N? She’s my writing partner for Lawrence’s class, she’s cool…” Steve replied, turning to catch your eye as they passed. He smiled at you, giving a short wave, which you returned with a small smile.

“She’s cool? That all?” Tommy pressed, stepping into the line and grabbing a carton of strawberry milk and the largest chocolate chip cookie in the basket. He unwrapped his arm from his shoulders, letting him go free for the first time in the conversation.

“Yeah, I mean she’s nice, what else do you want me to say?” Steve knew that was being a little defensive, but he didn’t like being questioned for his choices in friends or girls, he never questioned Tommy’s choices and he made the worst decisions most of the time. Carol was no prize and he didn’t say a word about her.

“You fucking her?” if Steve had had anything in his mouth, he would’ve spit it on the floor. Tommy didn’t even turn to look at him, paying the lunch lady in change.

“Jesus, dude, no.” Steve cried, recoiling from his friend. Tommy needed to get hit and while he didn’t have cause to do so yet, he firmly believed someone was going to do it soon.

“Hey, no need to freak out, it’s just a question.” Tommy pulled his friend back in, slapping his friend on the back. Instead of simply heading back to their lunch table, he pulled him to the side, standing next to the hot grab and go table, next to the cartons of fries.

“Now, the way I see it, you have something great going for you.” Tommy began, cracking open his milk and taking a long swig, leaving a milk film on his upper lip. “Vicki Clarke is a fucking babe and she’s begging for it! She’s all over your ass and she’s hot as hell! But you’re blowing it by spending all your time staring at some freak of nature instead. You could have a smoking hot babe at your beck and call, but you’re wasting your chances here, you see what I mean?”

“Not at all, dude.” Steve crossed his arms over his chest, looking over his friend doubtfully.

“Look man, I’m just trying to set you up for success here. Because that girl,” Tommy pointed at you slyly “Is not interested. If she was, she’d be over here, acting like Vicki is. But she’s keeping herself planted at that table with that goth freakazoid.”

Steve had no idea what to say. He opened his mouth to speak, to deny having any feelings for you, but that wouldn’t mean shit if he kept watching you. And Tommy was right, there was a girl there who wanted to listen to whatever he said, who chased him down. Vicki was there and you weren’t. So he swallowed his words and went back to his table.

“Hey, Steve…” Vicki drawled. There was red lipstick on her teeth. Steve didn’t say anything about it. It didn’t make her ugly. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, letting her rest in the crook of his neck. Vicki seemed over the moon by it and it gave him something to focus on other than catching your attention.

Samantha frowned, turning her attention back to you. “What’s Steve’s opinion on Vicki Clarke?” she asked.

“He didn’t like when I told him that she had a thing for him, why?” you retorted, flipping through the college magazine in front of you. You still hadn’t chosen anywhere to apply and applications for the major schools were due in the winter and community colleges needed their applications in for the fall semester in by the end of June at the earliest.

“Well, he doesn’t seem embarrassed now.” Samantha hooked a thumb towards the couple. You looked once, narrowing your eye to scrutinize the pair.

“Eh, that seems about right…” you murmured. You wouldn’t deny that something about it hurt. But you ignored the pain until returning home from school. As always, you called before making any moves. It was the polite thing to do, even though Steve had made the plans to meet up with you after school the night before.

The phone was picked up after three rings. Steve’s car was in the driveway, not his mother’s, so you knew who would answer. “Hello?” his voice sounded anxious and breathy, maybe even annoyed.

“Steve-o, we still studying? You wanna go grab food at Hula Burger?” Steve had introduced you to the burger place in Carmel, a little mom and pop shop with the best Cajun fries in the county, at least in your opinion.

“Oh shit…” Steve muttered “Y/N I’m sorry I-I kind of made plans, can I take a rain check on the burgers?”

“Oh…yeah, sure I guess…some other time…” you said softly. You wouldn’t try to hide the disappointment in your voice. The pain you felt in the pit of your stomach returned with abundance, not exactly sore and angry pain, but more of a black hole opening up there.

“I gotta go, I’ll see you tomorrow, ‘kay?” Steve asked. He was already running late. He was supposed to pick up Vicki in twenty minutes and he still needed to shower. He had genuinely forgotten about his plans with you and he felt like an ass for doing so. He did want to hang out with you, but a date was a good step after being decimated by Nancy. He wasn’t super into Vicki, but it was still exciting to go out with someone new.

“Sure…” you hung up after that. You stood from your bed, dropping your book bag at your feet. You were used to spending afternoons alone, that wasn’t strange to you. Just because you’d spent a few days with a boy didn’t mean that he was yours to hold back from his life. You could’ve pulled a fit and tried to make him hold true to his word, the way your mother used to act towards your father. But those memories made you sick, you didn’t like that behaviour. But you also didn’t like being cancelled on. It wasn’t a feeling you were used to, not from friends at least. Samantha never really cancelled on you, she always made sure to tell you when she was busy and not agree to plans. She’d never cancelled on you for a date, even when she was dating Keith the creep she always put your friendship on a different level than him. Of course, she wasn’t really into Keith, she came out like a week after they started dating and broke up with him after kissing Jessica Klein at a house party, but that wasn’t the point. The point was that Steve had ditched you and it made your heart hurt.

You couldn’t help but watch him run out of his front door and into his car. You watched it pull out of his driveway and out onto the road. It was clear to you now, Steve was more interested in passing English than he was in being your friend. Vicki Clarke was the girl to pay attention, no matter how he acted around you.

So why pretend like he was your friend at all?

[b-rainlet]

Gotham for the fandom ask thingy.

(I ran here so fuckin fast you have no clue)

Hello anon! :D I will answer this now, so you don't have to wait any longer but also....this would be very nice to answer through gifsets...(maybe when I am feeling up for it).

For now, have this:

(It's not proof read because I just sat at this for several hours and I don't wanna look at it anymore).

Favourite Male Character

You mean...besides the obvious answers?? :D

Ngl, it's S2 Jerome. I love that little twink with his parental issues and his tragic backstory and I wanna see him happy. There's a reason I have a bunch of AUs where he ends up having a family (mostly in the form of Lee as his Mother) and gets some actual help instead of being ostracized for being a mentally ill person snapping after years of abuse.

(This also ties into my very strong feelings regarding the fact that nobody actually helps the people at Arkham. And I don't mean the main villains there, I mean all the inmates who get treated like shit and are left behind on the regurlar (remember in S2 when Arkham was about to explode and nobody was talking about evacuating the inmates???? I do).

Other than that, one of my faves is also Jonathan. Which may be a little surprising because I barely talk about him but he was my favourite character throughout the show and he had way too little scenes.

(Kinda telling that the characters I latched onto are both helpless teens who were fucked over by the people who were supposed to protect them and can both trace their villain origin story back to Jim Gordon not caring enough about them lmao).

But the cast is big and varied enough that I actually like everyone? Butch, Zsazs, Penguin, S1 and 2 Ed, Jervis, Harvey, Jim......I like them all!!

(Special shoutout to 514A too, he was soft and baby and I wanted to keep him safe and sound really desperately).

(Another special shoutout to Barnes!! I didn't expect to like him when I first saw him, given he looked like he was gonna be mean and stoic and all, but I ended up really liking him and his story!)

Favourite Female Character

Let's just pretend Ecco doesn't exist for this answer ajdkaskaslj.

I fell in love immediately upon seeing Ecco but all! the women! are so!!! good!!!!

I especially have a soft spot for the side characters. I mean, upon first watching I got attached to Alice (even though she only features in two episodes lmao), and also Kristen Kringle - who isn't talked about much within Fandom, but she was pretty and her and Ed were actually quite cute but then she had to die for him to become the Riddler which was...pretty much telling us from the beginnning 'The woman here die to advance the men's plots'.

Barbara was also a big surprise to me because I figured she'd be the female love interest and nothing more but!! her and Jerome were the best thing in S2 and also the most entertaining thing about the Maniax Plot. (In several ways, I think I had the most fun watching this show during S2 , it was just. Good).

Also upon being in this Fandom and thinking about certain characters a bit longer I also really like Vicky Vale. And Montoya. And I wish they had kept both around for longer.

(I also wish they wouldn't have made Vicky a love interest for Jim. Or Sofia. No love interests for Jim except Lee and Barbara please).

Also Selina!! I love both Selina and Tabitha with all my heart - which may also be surprising because I barely ever talk about Tabby but I contain multitudes aklskddsm, and while I like sharing my horny thoughts about Ecco, I also love to think about Tabby and daydream about her being happy and exploring her (and Selina's) issues with showing weakness and affection and their strong loyalty regarding people that they trust.

I just.....women. Women good.

(Women also deserve to have more character than just being somebody's love interests and I have enough wips that completely sideline the guys to focus on the woman instead lmao).

Least Favourite Character

I don't have many characters that I hate??

I generally tend to instantly love everybody unless they are specifically made to be unlikeable. (I also spite-like characters who are hated for petty reasons, I just have a lot of love in my heart and not much energy for hate lmao).

But there were characters who annoyed me while I was watching.

For one, I think Gotham has a variety of super entertaining villains, but the main villains of each season tend to be....boring.

Safe for Strange they all kinda fell flat for me. Theo. Kathryn. Ra's Al Ghul. His Daughter. Mostly because their plotlines were less exciting than stuff like Jerome's carnival or Mother and Orphan's Hotel of Horrors.

Or their motives seemed a lot less understandable than the ones of the other Batman villains who pretty much always come from a place of suffering and abuse and break/snap under the pressure that's put on them (continuing this take of Gotham creating its own villains by leaving behind - mentally ill - people that need help, which I think is very true to most - if not all - Batman villains).

And then you have some characters that simply suffer from the fact that the show was cut short - which is pretty much any and every S5 character that had way too little screentime, but in this specific case means Jeremiah.

Because I disliked Jeremiah a lot while watching.

Without wanting to step on anybody's toes, him and Nygma are probably the two characters on this show I ended up disliking the most.

Mostly because Miah felt like a very cheap copy of Jerome and to this day I think it was a bad idea to replace Jerome with him, since Jeremiah - to me - seems like a super flat character.

Maybe if we had gotten him without meeting Jerome first, just having a Joker character introduced in S4, maybe I would've adored him, who knows.

But in comparison to Jerome...no. Just no.

(I will spare you from any longer rambles, but I think if you follow me, I talked about the ways Miah is lacking for me before).

My made up version of Miah though? I love him.

With Nygma it's even worse because I adored him. I instantly liked him. I was 100% behind him right up until the godawful Isabella plot happened and then it just all went to shit so quickly, I couldn't stand seeing him on screen anymore.

It's surprising that I didn't stop liking Oswald but to me, Oswald pretty much stayed the same while Ed became all bitter and hard and I just miss dorky S2 Ed you know?

It actually got so bad, I completely turned my back on Nygm/obblepot as a ship because I was so severly disappointed and I barely talk about Ed because I just can't stand what they did with him.

(Another victim of bad writing).

Favourite Ship

I'm just gonna stick to canon ships because I don't ever shut up about my Fanon ships so you probably know which ones I love the most :D

There isn't much romance going on within Gotham if I think about it - apart from Jim - which I definitely prefer. You wouldnt guess it from my blog, but I am not a fan of too shippy stuff because in most cases it just means sex scenes and I can live without those. I want action! Blood! Dead People! Not a two minute make-out session between two bland characters!

I gotta admit that Ed and Lee have some cute scenes and I would definitely ship them if I didn't dislike S4 Ed so much (S2 EdLee tho?? Yes).

Also I thought Jim and Lee was okay and Baby Batcat was quite cute at times but mostly I don't care about the canon ships.

I do ship Barbara and Jim though :D

I remember right before they hooked up in S5 I was like: 'I wouldn't mind if they got back together' and then went 'yay!' when they did and I wouldn't have minded a little more 'Will they?? Won't they??' between those two and them just having the mother of unhealthy relationships on this show.

(Also Jim/Barbara/Lee poly relationship but we can't have everything).

Favourite Friendship

So many good relationships on this show!

I need to rewatch the show soon because I probably already forgot about most of them but from the top of my head: Oswald/Butch and Oswald/Zsazs

Which were both then done dirty lmao. One by having Oswald be overly petty (one of the few times I was like...Pengy...wtf...) and the other by passing up the obvious opportunity to have Zsazs find out who really killed Falcone and just...letting Oswald and Victor never interact again. 

Then of course Ivy and Selina which also gloriously fell apart. Just like Ivy and Oswald. 

(Gotham isn’t the best when it comes to maintaining friendships). 

And the biggest and most grandious friendship of them all: J Squad. 

(Who have too little scenes together honestly and then also simply fell apart after Jerome died. Consistency who?)

Favourite Quote

I don’t know, I don’t have many quotes in my head from the show. Me and my niece mostly reference: “Yeah, that’s a spoon.” - “IT IS ALSO A FORK!!1!!!”

Also: “Gotta Go! Gotta Go! They’re after me and the Scarecrow!”

(There are some dialogue blurps I have written down somewhere because they are inspriration for gifsets but in order to be able to just recite some of them from Memory, I would have to watch this show way more obsessively). 

Worst Character Death

I don’t even gotta say anything do I? :D

But I think the character death that actually made me cry was Jerome’s first death. I clearly remember crying because...he just wanted recognition! And praise! And instead he was used as a pawn and betrayed by someone he idolized and he was only 18! My poor little meow-meow!

Seriously, the only things that make me cry on this show: Jerome’s first death, any and all mention of Bruce as a baby - told by an emotional Alfred, any and all Bruce/Alfred interaction at all and Solomon Grundy. 

This made me so happy you have no idea Moment

I seriously need to rewatch this show, it’s been so long :D

But I remember being pretty excited for the J Squad Team Up - because I was like ‘If I were Jerome I would definitely work with Tetch and Scarecrow since they’re also in Arkham atm’ and then he did!!

And I also distinctly remember in S3 that I was close to falling asleep right when they scene came on where Oswald realizes his feelings for Nygma and let me tell you - it caught me so off guard, I was awake instantly lmao. 

(I knew that people shipped them but I was so used to mlm ships being popular when they only have a handful of scenes and are platonic friends that I didn’t expect them to actually have a possibility of being canon). 

From then on I was super pumped for them to deliver on that ship but well....we all knew what happened asnksnndk. 

Saddest Moment

Aside from the already mentioned scenes in the character death column, the scene where Bruce leaves and Selina runs to the airport. I always liked Selina but she wasn’t a priority character of mine (much like Bruce isn’t) but then that scene happened and in an instant, I felt super protective over her. 

She is now my baby. My daughter. My beloved wife. She deserves everything and most importantly she deserves better than Bruce Wayne. 

(Coincidentally that was also the scene where I decided I don’t care much about Bruce asldjkjlj. I absolutely adore early seasons Bruce though). 

Favourite Location

There are so many different locations, I don’t think I can adequately answer this with my spotty memory :D

But I always loved the few episodes where Alice features, because I love how her scenes are shot so probably the little carnival Jervis prepares for her.

Also!! Jeremiah's church!

Or Commissioner Loeb's secret house (Especially the Attic).

There are a lot of cool locations, I gotta gif some of them soon :D

[witchesofmysticfalls]

As I Lay Dying - 3

"Ariel Hey." Jeremy greeted when he answered.

"Tell me you're with Elena." I say as I lean against the wall of the cellar, the deputies came and went, leaving me locked in the cell and Alaric locked out on the other side so until he manages to get his door opened I'm stuck here.

"She went to go see Damon. I thought that's where you were?"

"No, he just escaped. I think he's looking for her, and the cops are after him. Listen, he's in bad shape, Jeremy, so if you find her, get her somewhere safe, okay? Alaric and I are on our way"

As soon as he gets the damn door open

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I scrambled to pick up my phone as Alaric raced the car down the street, we managed to get out and we're headed to the town square to start our search for Damon.

"Hey it's me" Jeremy says. "Did you find him?" I ask.

"I'm with Damon at the grill"

"Okay, we're on our-" My sentence is cut off by a gunshot.

"Jeremy?" I questioned Jeremy.

"What was that? Is Damon alright? Jeremy!" I cut the call and look at Alaric

"Step on it"

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alaric and I ran into the grill and looked over to see Bonnie, Caroline and her mom crouched over someone, crying

"Bonnie what's going on?" Alaric asked as we rushed to them.

"Oh my god!" I clamped a hand to my mouth as I felt my stomach sink down to the ground as I saw Jeremys lifeless body on the ground.

"Jeremy!" I dropped down to his side and Caroline promptly backed away to give me space.

"No!" I screamed as I put my fingers to his neck to find a pulse.

"I-I can't feel a pulse! Why can't I feel a pulse!" I exclaimed as I held his hand. I grabbed either side of his face and begged him to wake up.

"Jeremy! Jeremy please! Please wake up!" I had tears down my face and they were coming down fast.

I fell back losing balance but Caroline caught me. "No...he can't be...." I said in between sobs. I just lost Jenna and John, I can't lose Jeremy too. I remember when I was a kid, when Elena and I would hang out at her house, how we included Jeremy when he was little so he wouldn't feel left out.

I remember how mesmerized he was by my drawings, even if they were terrible.

I remember his first drawing, a car. I might have found out only a while ago Jeremy was my cousin, but I've known him for as long as I've known Elena and Bonnie and Caroline.

He was always a brother to me, and just when I found out we were family he was taken from me.

Is it a curse? Is that why the people I love die?

That's ridiculous but in my state I can't cope right now.

Bonnie raised her head in determination "I know what I need to do."

"I need you to grab him. T-take him with us." She said as she looked over at Alaric.

"No, no, no, no. You can't move him. This is a crime scene." Sheriff Forbes said with tears in her eyes.

"Mom, you let them go." Caroline orders,

We all stand and let Alaric pick him up. "All right, come here, buddy. I got you. I got you"

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bonnie made us go all the way to the old witches house to do a resurrection spell that will bring Jeremy back, I'm trying to remain positive but it's hard.

"Is this even possible?" I asked as Alaric put down Jeremy's limp body on the ground.

"There's a spell for it if they'll give me the power to use it." Bonnie explained as she put Jeremy's head in her lap and grabbed either side of his face, and closed her eyes.

''Victus Phasmatis Ex Eleto. Revertas Phasmatis Ut Victus. Victus Phasmatis Ex Eleto. Revertas Phasmatis Ut Victus" Bonnie chants and at the same time, all of the light candles grow brighter with every chant.

"No." Bonnie whispers opening her tear ridden eyes

"What? What is it?" I question wearily.

"They're angry at me for coming back here. They don't wanna help."

"Well, they have to!" Alaric snapped.

"They said there'll be consequences."

"Well, he's just a kid. Tell 'em to shut up!" Alaric snapped.

Bonnie continues to cast the spell and The building shakes. I look around with wide eyes as Her nose starts to bleed and she starts crying.

"Victus Phasmatis Ex Eleto. Revertas Phasmatis Ut Victus. Victus Phasmatis Ex Eleto. Revertas Phasmatis Ut Victus. Revertas Phasmatis Ut Victus. Victus Phasmatis Ex Eleto. Revertas..."

"Emily. Emily!" Bonnie called out looking up. "I know you're there. Please help me" She begs and pleads. "I love him."

There's a huge gust of wind and the candles die out enveloping the room in darkness.

"No!" Bonnie cries. I hug Alaric, crying into him. He's dead. He's really dead and he's not coming back.

Out of nowhere Bonnie gasps loudly and Alaric shifts so I whirl around and gasped when I saw Jeremy had his eyes open "Oh my god."

"Bonnie?" Jeremy questions at her crying figure

"Oh, my God, Jeremy. Oh, my God."

"What happened?" Jeremy groaned in pain.

Bonnie shook her head softly "Doesn't matter. You're okay. You're okay." She said as she stroked his hair.

Bonnie smiled and raised her head "Thank you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sat on the porch swing while Alaric and Jeremy were inside with a blanket over me.

"Hey, you alright?" Asked Alaric as he poked his head through the door.

I nod unconvincingly "Yeah...I'm fine"

He sighed and sat down next to me "You know, you don't have to lie. Not to me"

"I don't know. It's just, everyone I love dies. My mom, Zach, Vicki, Jenna, John, even John. Jeremy was dead, and Damon's dying..." That last bit made me break into tears

"I just can't take it anymore" He sighed and wrapped an arm around me.

"Do you think I'm cursed?" I asked, staring ahead as I trace the pattern on my locket.

Alaric shook his head "No. You're not cursed. That's just the way life is. It might seem helpless now, but it's only making you stronger"

I sighed "You're just being nice" I mutter not believing him.

"I'm not, you know you are one of the finest pupils I've ever trained"

"The only one you've ever trained"

We both laughed lightly

"Yeah well, Ariel you've grown into this amazing strong woman who's turning 18 in how many days?"

"21, legally anyway"

"Right legally. My point is, keep fighting, no matter how much it hurts"

I smiled at him "Thanks Rick"

He smiled back "Any time my non-biological daughter"

I smiled a little "non-biological daughter?"

"Yes, because that's what you are to me" I laughed a little hiding a smile with my hand "There's the laugh"

"Thanks non-biological father"

...............

Alaric went back inside to speak to Jeremy and I stayed out here, he told me was going to be staying and that was fine by me. I stayed outside, drawing, I was drawing, drawing Jenna and John in my definition of heaven. The greatest memories of your life on re-run.

Someone rapped their knuckles against the beam of the porch and I looked up and saw Stefan standing there.

"Stefan!" I exclaimed throwing, the blanket off me and throwing my arms around him.

"Oh thank god I was so worried"

He pulled away from me and gave me this sorrowful look.

"Why do you have that look on your face? That's your 'I'm about to give bad news face" I almost back away in shock,

"Damon didn't die did he?"

"No, he didn't" I breathed a sigh of relief, putting a hand on my chest. "Thank god"

"Ariel I'm leaving"

The sentence made my eyes widen "What? What do you mean you're leaving?"

"Klaus gave Damon his blood, the cure, but only if I went with him," Stefan explained.

"You didn't...wait-wait then why are you here?"

"Just to say goodbye, take care of yourself, for once"

I shook my head at him, "No! This can't be goodbye! You can't leave! What-what about Elena and- and Damon and Caroline and-and me!"

"You-you can't just leave!" I yelled at him, breaking into tears.

"I have to. I made a deal"

"Screw Klaus! I'll kill him myself if I have to even if it kills me! I'm not letting you leave with him!" I yelled at him, I turn to go inside the house but he uses his speed to block my path

"No-I'm not!" I tried getting past him but he stopped me from doing so.

"Let me go Stefan! I'll negotiate with him, I-I don't know my life for yours"

"Ariel you are not doing that!"

"I don't give a damn" I'm cut off when he brought his lips to mine. And for that split second, it was like if I didn't have a care in the world, it's like if time froze and we were standing still.

It felt...right- it felt....oldy right, and I didn't want it to feel right. I kissed him back despite my efforts to pull back and do something, but it was as if I was just frozen and couldn't move.

He finally pulled away and looked me in the eye with a look

"Why'd you do that?"

"So you could be quiet" He smiled painfully and kissed my forehead one last time before using his speed to leave.

I dropped and sank on my knees, He's gone.

Oh my god, what have we done?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well that's it. Have fun, Season 3 will come in March, kay kay!

Love you all!

Mwah!

[ella-se-vuelve-loca]

Chapter 15

Grand Masterlist

Series Masterlist

That’s enough happy chapters for now. Let’s add some angst and a twist into the story 👀Again, I haven’t proof read it so if it’s shit, I am so sorry! Lmao I hope you like it!

Previous Chapter

~~

“Excuse me?”

“Oh you heard me.” I scoffed and folded my arms across my chest. “And what could he possibly be lying to me about?” He came closer and handed me his phone. “Now, I’m gonna leave this up to you if you want to hear this or not.” I looked up at him then down at his phone. “Why? What is it?”

“If you want to know the truth, then all you have to do is press play.”

I glanced down at the screen and wondered what he was talking about. The truth? About what? “Johann… I don’t think – ”

“If you don’t want to know, fine. You can continue being together and lie to yourselves.” I stood up and moved away from him, stopping for a moment as I turned to look his way. “This isn’t funny.”

“I know it’s not, but just for right now… you might wanna look..” He pointed back where everyone was at. We’re at a distance where no one could see us unless we kept walking. “Okay, I’m looking.. what am I looking at?” He mentioned over to where Joel was dancing with Emilia on the dance floor. “You see them two?” I nodded. “They seem to be dancing a little too close with each other for comfort, wouldn’t you say?”

“Johann, they’re dancing. You have to get close to each other when you’re dancing along to bachata.”

“So you don’t see anything wrong?” I shook my head. “Well.. no, not really. I trust him.”

“Well maybe you shouldn’t.” My back was faced towards him as he continued speaking. “Something isn’t right and you should really be questioning these sort of things. Trust me. I know something about Joel that no one else does..” He held out his phone once again. “Dare to watch?” I shook my head. “No this.. this isn’t right.” I turned to look at him. “What he’s doing isn’t right, (Y/N).” He stood in front of me and held up his phone.

“Let me ask you a question… you said you trust him, right? Nothing will make you think differently of him?”

“If I find out and I mention it to him, he’s gonna wonder how I know about it when it didn’t come out of his mouth. He’ll start to think that I’m snooping around or something.”

“Ah but now the seed is planted in your brain, isn’t it? Curiosity killed the cat, you know? Your curiosity will make you see who he really is.” I shook my head and pushed past him, getting ready to go back to everyone else.

“Joel, what did you do?!” I heard someone’s voice as I stopped walking.

“I messed up!”

I turned around and saw him holding up his phone, showing me a video he must’ve taken. That kind of sounds like.. Joel. What did he mean by he messed up? I bit my lip and stood still, the voices in the video are almost so hard to hear.

“I should’ve listened to you and now I’m stuck with this big secret…”

A secret? I looked up at Johann and he pointed back to his phone as I continued to overhear the conversation. This is wrong… I shouldn’t be listening to this. This is gonna make me more curious and that’s not what I want. “Johann, turn it off. I can’t – ”

“Yes, I wanted to be with Emilia so much in the beginning. I was even willing to play with another girls feelings to do so..”

I slowly walked towards him as my eyes never left the phone screen, desperately trying to hear more of the conversation. I bit my lip and waited for the next line. I’m not that girl… am I?

“I never thought (Y/N) would become so important to me in the end…”

My mind was instantly filled with questions as I heard someone else start speaking.

“You’re not only hurting her, you’re hurting those around you who know about her. Imagine how Chris is gonna feel when he finds out about this! He was rooting for you, man!”

I heard more shuffling for a few more minutes until the video suddenly cut off. I stood there, unable to move. “I told you..” I looked up at him. “Joel is lying to you.” I shook my head and sniffled. “No, that’s not uh..” I cleared my throat. “That – That can’t be true. That’s not true.”

“Still don’t believe me?” He scrolled through his phone and showed me another video. “No, I don’t want to see another video.”

“You’ll be able to hear this one more clearly. No one else knows about this, but I keep cameras in my home and they record everything.” He said while pressing play. It looked like a security camera and it showed that it was only him and Joel there, no one else. It looked like Joel was by the sink, washing dishes..

“So… what’s really going on?” I heard Johann’s voice. “What do you mean?”

“Oh come on, Joel. I’m not stupid.” I heard some plates and cups softly clashing together as Joel continued washing dishes. “You were in love with Emilia a few months back and ready to do almost anything for her… what happened?”

“I met someone new and well.. here I am.”

“That quick?”

“It’s not a big deal.” I heard his voice. Please tell me that this is just some cruel prank. “Not a big deal? Joel, come on.. is this thing legit?”

Silence. We’re a real thing, aren’t we? This whole thing is not one sided, right Joel…?

“Can you keep a secret?” My breath hitched in the back of my throat, not sure if I was ready to hear his answer. “You can tell me anything, Joel. I’m your friend.” Please, Joel… don’t tell me what I think you’re going to say.

“I’m gonna be honest here.. I… I only used (Y/N) to get Emilia jealous in the beginning. That was the only reason why I talked to her in the first place.”

That was enough for me to push his phone away as I thought about his words. “Turn it off, please. I don’t want to hear anymore..” He turned off his phone and slipped it into one of his pockets. I looked up at him and covered my mouth to try to stifle my cries that wanted to come out. “This is the truth. I just thought you should know.”

“I don’t understand… I thought.. I thought that maybe..” He walked closer and placed one of his hands on my shoulder. “If you stay with him, you’re only going to get yourself hurt in the end. You’ll be in a loveless relationship that all started out as a lie.” He lifted up my chin with his index finger and thumb so I could look up at him. “You know, you should thank me. I’m doing you a favor.” I frowned and looked behind him, glancing at Joel dancing with Emilia.

I covered my face and leaned into his chest as he wrapped his arms around me, bringing me closer to him as one of my hands griped onto my shirt. “I’m honest with you and we just met. He’s known you for a little while now and he couldn’t even be honest with the people he’s close with.” He pulled back and lifted my head to face him, his thumb reaching up and wiping a tear away from my face.

“Don’t cry for him, he’s not worth it.” He spoke, looking straight into my eyes. “B – But, Joel.. he – ”

“You don’t want to ruin everyone’s night with your drama, right? To have everyone remember you as the girl who cried at Christopher’s cookout… now you don’t want that, do you?” He gave me a small smile and played with a strand of my hair that fell from my face as I shook my head. “No, you need to take care of him in private. Let him really know how you feel and when you’re done…” His hand reached down into my back pocket and took out my phone. “You give me a call.”

I looked at my phone in his hands as he typed in his number. “Why?” I asked as he handed me back my device. “Trust me, being alone sucks and I can be your shoulder to cry on.” I gave him a confused look. “I’m just trying to be a friend..” I didn’t realize how close he actually was to me as I could now feel his breath against my cheek. “S – Stop..” I mumbled as I pulled away from him. His touch felt wrong.

He sighed and rubbed his thumb against my cheek. I stood there in front of him, wondering where this was going. “If you ever need someone to vent to or..” His hand slowly slid down and traced my collarbone as I slowly backed away from him, stopping his movements. “If you need someone to help get your mind off of him, a distraction if you will, you have my number..” He winked and turned to walk back to the party, leaving me to stand there alone. I feel confused, hurt, angry, disappointed… I thought what we had was genuine. I thought we were real.

I wrapped my arms around myself as I slowly walked back to where everyone was. My eyes darted all over until I found who I wanted to talk to. “Vicky?” She turned around to look at me, the smile on her face disappearing once she looked at mine. “Hey, are you okay?” I shook my head. “No I just.. I need to get out of here.” I don’t want to make a scene and ruin everyone’s night.

“Okay uh let me go and get Andrea and Joel.” She and quickly ran off before I could tell her to not tell him. She left to go and collect our other friend as I tried to get my thoughts in order. I’m glad she didn’t ask why, I don’t know if I would be able to say anything. I was nobody to him. I was just somebody that was there at the right place and right time for him. How could I have been so stupid? To think, I actually thought… I thought he liked me. Stupid, (Y/N). Always getting your hopes up.

After a few minutes, I had looked over and saw Johann standing there, looking at me with a knowing look on his face as I turned my head away from him. “You’re leaving already?” I heard Christopher’s voice. “Yeah um we have work in the morning and it’s getting late.” I heard Vicky tell him. Thank you for not mentioning me. “When will I see you again?” I feel horrible taking her away from him tonight. She deserves a chance at love.

“Give me your phone and I’ll type my number in..” A few seconds of silence passed between them two before I heard him chuckle. “I’ll call you.” He spoke. “I’ll be waiting..” I know her so well to know that she was smiling. I saw Andrea and Joel walking my way towards me as I tried to put on a brave face.

“(Y/N), mi amor, there you are! Victoria told me that you weren’t feeling very well. Are you okay?” Joel came up to me and grabbed one of my hands, intertwining our fingers together. His touch felt like fire and not like the “burning love” sort of feeling, but one where I just couldn’t bear to have him touch me.

“I’m um.. not feeling very well.” He bit his lip and nodded. “Okay, I’ll get the car started and I’ll drive you home.” He walked away and went towards the front of the house, but stopping for a moment as he said his byes to Emilia. I can’t blame her for Joel’s actions. I don’t think she even knows about this.

“Thank you so much for having us.” I spoke to Christopher as we passed by him. “Thank you so much for coming by! You guys drive safe, yeah?” He smiled as we walked towards the front. Joel stood by his car waiting for us. “I got it, baby.” He opened the front door for me as I hesitantly got in, my friends going through the back. “Alright, let’s get you girls home.”

~~

“Thank you so much for driving us, Joel.” Andrea said as she unbuckled her seatbelt. “Ahh it’s no problem. I hope you guys had fun.”

“Be safe driving home!” Victoria spoke as she got out of the car. “I’ll um meet you girls inside. I’ll be there in a few minutes..” They nodded and walked towards the front of the house, getting in. Joel sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, chuckling. “Whew.. you know, I gotta be honest. I was so nervous for you to meet my friends. I’m glad they didn’t tell that  many embarrassing stories.” He said. “I’m honestly so ecstatic that you finally got to meet them.” He turned to look at me, but I kept looking down at the phone that rested on my lap not saying a single word to him.

“… So, Victoria and Chris seemed to be having a lot of fun together tonight, didn’t they? I bet they have, or are about to, have a thing going on together really soon. Don’t you think so?” He smiled but I stayed the exact same. “Hey, are you okay? Are you still not feeling well?” I turned and looked at him, my eyes glossy with tears wanting to fall. “I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. Baby, tell me what’s going on.”

“I told you that I’m fine.” I wanted to scream.. to cry.. to yell.. to hit him.. I wanted this night to be over with as soon as possible.

“Okay..” He turned around in his seat so he could fully face me and sighed. “What’s going on? You were fine not even an hour ago. What changed?” I bit my lip and turned to fully face him. “Joel, I’m gonna give you a chance to take a strong shot of honesty and tell me something. One thing, that’s all I want to know..” I’m really afraid to ask him this. I’m fucking terrified.

“What’s the real reason why you came up to talk to me when we met at Late Bar?” You could almost feel the tension in the air as his breathing became slower. “What are you talking about?”

“Answer the question.” It stayed silent between us as it became more and more harder to breathe sitting in this car with him. Why is he taking so long to answer me? Why is he hesitating? I can feel the tears just begging to fall down, but I’m stubborn and refused to let him ruin my make up even more. His gaze stayed on mine as realization dawned on his face. “… You know…” He whispered, as if confirming to himself what we both feared. “Oh my God..” I turned away from him and opened the door, getting out and slamming it behind me. He followed after as I started walking towards my house. “Wait! (Y/N)!”

He grabbed my hand before I snatched it away from him. “Sueltame!” I cried. “No, please! Let me explain! I’ll.. I’ll tell you everything!” I stopped in front of him and cleared my throat. “You’re just a liar..” He frowned. “That was before. I – I swear! I didn’t.. I didn’t know.. just please. Let’s talk about this.”

“What else is there to talk about? This whole time.. this whole time we were together, you fucking lied straight to my face!” I cried out. “None of it was real..”

“I.. yes, okay? It was horrible for me to even consider doing this in the beginning, I know.. but then I got to know you.” He held a sad smile on his face and tried once again to grab my hand. “And it was real, I swear to you! All of those kisses, stories, hugs.. all of it. Baby, please don’t – ”

“Don’t call me that. You don’t have the right to call me that anymore.” I sniffled and moved my hair out of my face. “This…” I motioned my hand between the two of us. “Is done. Whatever we had… is over.” I turned around and started walking up the steps to my house. “What do you mean “over”? I’m not done.” He spoke.

“But I am.” Spinning around to face him once more. “No, (Y/N), please.. let me.. let me make it up to you. I’ll do anything you want, just please… don’t let me go.”

“You’ll do anything?”

“Yes, anything. Just name the price and it’s done!”

“Lose my number..”

“… W – What?” It’s like I can literally feel my heart breaking. “Do you need me to say it again?” I just want to curl up into a ball and let the floor swallow me whole.

“Please, do us both a favor and lose it. We’re done.” I didn’t say anything else as I walked away from him, leaving him standing outside my house as I walked in, shutting the door behind me. “(Y/N)?” I heard Andrea walking my way. She stood in her pj’s, having changed out of her party clothes as she looked at me.

“Is everything okay?” I shook my head and looked down at my phone. “No.. I just found out that everything between us was a lie.. it was a complete lie.” I looked up at her as tears slid down my face.

“I’m far from okay..”

Next Chapter

~~

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[skeptycats]

Vicky Archives #2

FOREST OF SECRETS - A mother’s decision

Vicky Holmes, the former editor of the Warriors series, has been doing short extract readings on Facebook since the start of the UK lockdown back in March. There’s some really cool anecdotes hidden within some of these videos, so I decided to begin penning them down for posterity and easy reference.

I won’t be transcribing filler, hedging and false starts but I’m including some amount of preamble just to be comprehensive.

Vicky started splitting the readthroughs into three parts starting with this one: the reading itself, ‘behind the scenes’ discussion, and topical creative writing exercises. I will be transcribing all three sections under different headers.

#1 Into the Wild | #2 Forest of Secrets | #3 The Darkest Hour | #4 Code of the Clans | #5 Firestars’ Quest | #6 Twilight | #7 Long Shadows | #8 Leafpool’s Wish

---

Hello! Welcome to my kitchen today!

My reading today is going to be from the third book in the first series, Forest of Secrets. This was the first book I wrote with Cherith Baldry. 

For the first book, Into the Wild, we took writing samples from several writers, a dozen writers, even, and Kate Cary was a new writer to my company and to me. We felt like she had an amazing voice and a real grasp of the sensitivity of the cats, a real feel for the story. And that’s how we chose her, through auditions.

For this book, I went straight to Cherith. I worked with her already on a series called Puppy Patrol by Jenny Dale, I think on a couple of other projects as well. I knew her well, I worked with her very well, and I knew that she loved cats, which was good to balance out my natural antipathy towards the feline species. So I just had a hunch she would be great, and of course, she was. 

We’re going to read the prologue:

Cold gripped the forest, fields, and moorland like an icy claw. Snow covered everything, glittering faintly under a new moon. Nothing broke the silence in the forest except for the occasional soft rush of snow sliding from the branches of trees and the faint rasping of dried reeds when the wind swept through them. Even the murmur of the river was stilled by the ice that stretched from bank to bank. 

There was a flicker of movement at the edge of the river. A large tomcat, his bracken-colored fur fluffed up against the cold, emerged from the reeds. He shook snow impatiently from his paws as he sank into the soft drifts with every step. 

In front of him, two tiny kits struggled forward with faint mews of distress. They floundered in the powdery snow, the fur on their legs and belly matted into icy clumps, but every time they tried to stop, the tomcat nudged them on. 

The three cats trudged along the river until it widened out, and they drew level with a small island not far from the bank. Thick beds of reeds surrounded it, their dry stems poking up through the ice. Stunted, leafless willow trees concealed the center of the island behind snow-covered boughs. 

“Almost there,” the bracken-colored tom meowed encouragingly. “Follow me.”

He slid down the bank into a narrow frozen pathway through the reeds and leaped onto the dry, crisp earth of the island. The bigger of the two kits scrambled after him, but the smaller one collapsed on the ice and crouched there, mewing pitifully. After a moment’s pause the tomcat jumped down beside it and tried to nudge it to its paws, but it was too exhausted to move. The tomcat gave its ears a lick, roughly comforting the helpless scrap, and then picked it up by the scruff of the neck and carried it onto the island. 

Beyond the willow trees was a stretch of open ground broken by bushes. Snow covered the earth here, crisscrossed by the pawmarks of many cats. The clearing seemed deserted, but bright eyes gleamed from shelter, watching the tomcat as he led the way to the largest clump of bushes and through the outer wall of tangled branches. 

The icy chill of the air outside gave way to the warmth of the nursery and the smell of milk. In a deep nest of moss and heather a gray she-cat was suckling a single tabby kit. She raised her head as the tomcat drew closer and gently set down the kit he was carrying. The second kit staggered into the nursery behind him and tried to scrabble its way into the nest. 

“Oakheart?” meowed the she-cat. “What have you got there?” 

“Kits, Graypool,” Oakheart replied. “Will you take them? They need a mother to look after them.” 

“But…” Graypool’s amber eyes were shocked. “Whose kits are they? They’re not RiverClan’s. Where did you get them?” 

“I found them in the forest.” Oakheart did not meet the she-cat’s eyes as he spoke. “They’re lucky a fox didn’t find them first.” 

“In the forest?” meowed the queen, her voice rasping with disbelief. “Oakheart, don’t talk to me as if I’m mouse-brained. What cat would abandon her kits in the forest, especially in weather like this?” 

Oakheart shrugged. “Rogues, maybe, or Twolegs. How would I know? I couldn’t leave them there, could I?” He nosed the smaller kit, which was lying completely still except for the rapid rise and fall of its tiny ribs as it breathed. “Graypool, please…Your other kits died, and these will die too, unless you help them.”

 Graypool’s eyes clouded with pain. She looked down at the two kits. Their tiny mouths gaped pink as they mewed pitifully. “I have plenty of milk,” she murmured, half to herself. “Of course I’ll take them.”

BEHIND THE SCENES

So that was the prologue of Forest of Secrets. I don’t think it’s a massive spoiler to say that was Oakheart taking his and Bluefur’s kits into RiverClan after Bluefur, who we know better now as Bluestar, made the terrible decision to give up her kits in order to become deputy of ThunderClan. She knew that a nursing mother would never be allowed to take position. She had to make that ultimate sacrifice. She had three kits, one of them died in the snow on the way, and two kits remained.

Now, when I started writing Forest of Secrets and coming up with the storyline... this series, you have to remember, was very much flying under the radar. It was still just a little series about cats. Yes, we were going to do six books instead of just the one, but it wasn’t selling very well. HarperCollins wasn’t promoting it massively, they didn’t feel the need to. It was just a bread-and-butter series. And because of that, I’m not going to say I was allowed to run riot, but I certainly had a lot of freedom with the storylines, and that meant I could come up with all these backstories for cats. 

It’s so long ago, I can’t remember how I had the idea that Bluestar had given up kits, but I do know at the time I was very personally aware of the conflict between a mother, with young children, and a career. As a parent, and especially, I think, as a mother even in this day and age, you have to make really hard decisions. You can’t be the best mum in the world and the best at your job. It just tears you in half. And I wanted to demonstrate this. It was what I was living through at the time, and I wanted to demonstrate this in my books. And so, I made Bluestar the ultimate career woman, and she gave up her children. With terrible consequences. So that was the first freedom that I was allowed. 

The other great freedom was that I was writing about cats, and therefore I could write about old characters. Now, when you’re writing children’s books, and as you know I’ve written many, many children’s books, normally your protagonist, your central character, will always be the aspirational age of your readers. So, for example, if you’re writing a middle-grade series, which is for ages 8-12, your central characters will be 12, because that’s the age your readers will identify with and want to be. It has this slight glamour for the younger children, and the older readers will think ‘yep, I get them, that’s what I’m living at the moment’. 

However, because I’m writing about cats, cats age far more quickly, obviously, than humans do. So my characters could start off as kits, but within a book they would be apprentices, and then within another book they’d be grown-ups, and having a job, and having great responsibility, including over life and death. And they’ll be able to get married and have children, basically, in the cat world. That meant I could have central characters that aged, and that felt very new at the time, and very fresh. 

Therefore, I was able to have in Bluestar a central character who had not only had children, but she had given up those children for the sake of her job. Including losing the life of one of her three babies in the snow, and then had had to live with those consequences all through her career. And it destroyed her mind. Therefore, in Forest of Secrets and all of the rest of the first series, I was able to show an old character, her mind disintegrated. I think if Bluestar was human we would’ve said she had symptoms of dementia. She certainly had symptoms of massive depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. We don’t need to label it, we just need to empathise. 

We can really see how she was destroyed by giving up her children, and as series one progresses and the trouble with Tigerclaw emerges and she faces losing her whole Clan, it seems to her that her sacrifice was for nothing. And the pain of that is, well, I think it’s probably more than I could contain in words. And both Kate and Cherith, both mothers themselves, just captured that I think, the disintegration of an old person. 

It’s safe to say that for Into the Wild and Fire and Ice, I didn’t love Warriors. It was part of my job, I was working on other things that I much preferred. Didn’t really like cats, didn’t really see where these stories were going... you know, just ‘bash them out’. And that sounds awful, but that kind of was the truth. Forest of Secrets? I fell in love. Fell in love with Warriors, I fell in love with what these characters could do, I fell in love with what I could do with them, and this is when the series became me. Became personal. When I opened up my life onto the page.

CREATIVE WRITING PROMPTS

So I’ve read my prologue, and I’ve talked a little bit about the freedom that writing about cats gave me, and especially writing from the perspective of an old person. If you’d like to use this for your own creative writing today, I’d like you to have a think about writing from the perspective of a grandparent, or someone who’s lived hundreds of years and is looking back over their lives. How would they see the world differently? What sort of extra perspective do you think that gives them? 

Ordinarily, as an English teacher, when we’re encouraging our students to write from the perspective of an older person we often say go interview your grandparents, especially if they’ve lived through the Second World War, because that was a time when society was very different and very alien. We are in the unique position now of living through our own version of that war. Society is different now than it ever has been before, and so what I think might be interesting is to imagine yourselves way in the future, having gone back to living very normal lives, hopefully having families of your own or surrounded by children from your neighbourhood. 

What would you tell them about this time now? See if you can get into the old person’s perspective, would you look back on this and say it was a positive time for connecting with your family and learning the good of the Internet? Would you perhaps be nostalgic? Are there things you might miss about this time? 

But you can also be realistic about how scary it was, especially if you’re younger you might feel particularly that you can’t control it and you don’t know what happens next. I’ll let you into a secret: I’m a grown-up and I don’t feel in control, and I don’t know what’s going to happen, and I’m very, very worried about my family especially. 

Have a go at writing today from the perspective of an old person. It doesn’t have to be about now, it can be something perfectly happy. Do your bones ache? Does the sun warm your skin? Think about how it would be to be someone else, someone of a different age. 

As well as creative writing you could also look at your own books and check out the ages of the protagonists, check out the ages of your central characters. Do you have any books which present events from the point of view of an elderly person? At the moment we’re all about inclusivity in children’s literature, writing from all the different viewpoints, which is just a fabulous thing and I’m learning as much as anyone else about it. Old people have a lot to say, and it’s worth listening. We have a good perspective, even though I’m not nearly as old as I would hope one day to be. 

[thatswhatisee]

Remember, Remember

This is my take on "What if the bee had not stung Scully in the Hallway Scene?" In Fight the Future. Also available at AO3

I want to thank @agentelmo, @handsofabitterman, and @mldrgrl for their help in the early stages. Tossing ideas around with them made me come with a certain structure to this project. This first chapter has been betaed by dksculder, @ enigmaticdoctorscully , and @settle-down-frohike . Without their feedback, I wouldn't have been able to get this here.

I also want to thank Vicky @frangipanidownunder for her writing workshops that have helped me become a more confident fanfic writer.

English is not my native language and feedback is much appreciated. Without any further ado, here is the story.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Chapter 1

I go for a run. I run like my life depends on it. Which I find ironic in a way, as I’m a fox myself. At least that’s what my parents have thought to name me. Different from my animal counterpart, though, at this moment I feel more like a prey than a hunter. I run away from this morning’s events, trying to erase the frustration and anger with sore muscles and the release of endorphins. That should make me feel better. At least that’s what I had hoped for when I had set my foot out of the door, right before dawn, with the air still chilled.

I pass by silhouettes of trees and hedges; not a soul is out in the park. The streetlamps show me where the track ends and the green grass starts. I follow the concrete path. My nostrils smell dew and the loamy scent of the Tidal Basin on my right. The Washington Monument is on this side too. All lit up, a white phallus among the darkness, putting on pretentious display all American masculinity. Even in architecture we, men, show that our dicks need to rule everything, seeking power and a release of oxytocin to their owners.

A flood of oxytocin should have made me better as well. Or so they say. It had made me feel good, actually. So good, so relaxed that I fell asleep; it was the moment I opened my eyes that everything went downhill.

But what would I know about hormones anyway? 

She, on the other hand, would know. The perks of being an MD. Her bedside manners need some work, though. That I can say. I bet that’s why she chose to be a pathologist. And coming to think of it, that is also probably why she had been single for almost all the time I have met her.

If I am a fox, she is, apparently, a praying mantis.

But it was my mistake. Five years working with a person. Five years of a partnership based on trust and repressed feelings were thrown down the toilet. I should have never kissed her in that hallway. And why did she have to choose that moment to let down a guard that has been up and successful for so many years? She should have slapped me in the face, that’s what she should have done. I would have deserved it.

The first rays of sunlight have started to warm up this summer morning and I’m still thinking of her. I guess it’s not time to turn back to the car and drive home yet. The cool breeze on my face is a good contrast to the warmth my tracksuit provides me, as I feel the drops of sweat running down my body. It’s a pleasant sensation. It makes me focus on the moment I’m living and not in the past. 

The sunlight bathes my surroundings and the day has warmed up as I approach The Jefferson Memorial. A few joggers run by and the city is starting to wake up. I think it’s time to finally go back home.

As I leave the shower and head to my bedroom, the remnants of last night’s developments assault my senses. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. The room smells like her and I swear I can hear again the soft moaning coming from her mouth when my tongue drew number eights on her neck. My blood runs south and stirs my dick. I sigh. My body tenses and I yank the sheets out of the bed to throw them in the hamper with force. The sunlight passes between the slats of the blinds, bathing a piece of the floor. It makes a kind of patterned spotlight to my yesterday’s outfit. My stomach clutch with the sight. I grab my gray T-shirt from the floor, ball them up in my hands with clenched teeth and toss them in the laundry basket.

When I’m back to putting away clothes, something else calls my attention and I stop mid-stride. Giving it further inspection, I notice it’s a smashed bee. My heart races and I feel ultra-awake by adrenaline. I run and search frantically all over the place for a container to put the insect.

Once it is secured tight inside a small transparent pot I grab my cell phone and press speed dial one: Miss bedside manners.

Before I even hear the first ring, my heart races and I fumble with the phone to press the end call button. I throw it on the couch in a huff and I groan. I start to pace the living room, rubbing my temples as I try to think of who could help me out with that insect. Yes, I know that I will need an entomologist, but I have a hunch that this bee is no ordinary honey-maker. And only a pair of eyes, who have seen the virus through the microscope before, could back me up, complete and enrich my theory.

I groan again.

I guess that’s what phantom limb syndrome feels like.

I arrive at the Lone Gunmen’s office and I am greeted by Frohike, who opens the door and starts to look behind me as if my presence alone was not enough for him.

“Where is the delectable Agent Scully?”

“I dare you to call her that on her face. She will kick your ass.” and then I remember. “Though that will be a little difficult since she is moving to Salt Lake City.”

“Salt Lake City?! What the heck did you do to her, man?” he barks, his face betraying indignation. He closes the door and I get inside. I try to deny my involvement in her departure – even though deep down, I’m guilty as charged – but I am interrupted by Langly and Byers. They have stopped their nerdy business and are now gathered around me and Frohike. The latter informs the others of the latest development.

“What did you do to Scully, dude?” blondie asks me.

I don’t know if it’s Frohike’s indignation or Langly’s astonished tone that does the trick, but I snap.

“Why do you all think I have done something to her?!”

“Easy, dude, we just want to understand what happened. But you were always ditching her, so we assume things.” says Langly.

“And you have a tendency to sleep with your female partners” Frohike points out.

“That happened only once.” I say, unable to look them in the eyes.

“Yeah, with the only female partner you have had before.” Shortie patronizes me.

“She and Diana are completely different people. Besides I’ve sworn that I would not let my dick get in the way again.” Yeah. Congratulations to me.

“Well, agent Scully is very hot. It would be understandable if you had not been able to resist temptation…” 

“Can we, please, stop talking about her?!” I admonish and interrupt Frohike’s rant. “The FBI transferred her after all that Dallas fiasco. And that’s why I’m here.” I take a deep calming breath. “I need your help. They are trying to blame us for what happened and all I have had before were theories, but no substantial proof. Until…” I get the vial with the bee from my pocket and show them. “...I found this in my apartment.” 

I share with them everything that Kurtzweil had told me. I tell them all the things I have seen in the last days: the cornfield, the white domes, the bees.

“If this bee is carrying the alien virus, as I suspect it is, it changes everything. It will prove that there is a real threat to people out there. And the X Files is the only division in the FBI that can handle these kinds of investigation. They will need to reopen the unit. And they will not be able to make a scapegoat of me.”

“And maybe Agent Scully can come back to Washington.” Frohike says.

“That is not up to me. She had her options before and she has made her choice.” I sigh. “And I think I already said I don’t want to talk about her, right?”

I notice how they look at one another, tension in the air. That’s when Byers, finally, decides to offer his input.

“So you’ll need an apiologist or an entomologist who we can trust to look at this bee. Someone who can catalog the anomalies or find traces of the virus.” 

“Yep. And I need it by Monday, at noon.”

“Monday?!” Langly exclaims. “Dude, today is Friday! Do you have any idea how long it takes to run full background checks on people and come up with somebody who is clean? How are we going to do that and then ask them to do the job on such a short notice? And moreover on the weekend?!”

“I know. But that’s when I have an OPR meeting. The FBI forgot to ask me when it’s the most convenient time for me to have my ass kicked.”

“So let’s get to work!” Frohike says and retreats himself along with Langly to their computers. Byers stay put and then approaches me, in a conspiratory voice.

“I know that you don’t want to talk about Agent Scully, but I just wanted to say that I have experience with loving a woman and then have her ripped out of my arms.”

“I’m not in love…”

“You may fool yourself, Mulder, but not me. Anyway, I just wanted to say that if you ever want to talk about it, I can be your man for that. I won’t judge or make fun of you.” He pats my shoulder twice and goes for his computer. 

And I stay there, glued to that spot, dumbstruck.

 I leave the Gunmen’s office with the remembrance of the taste of her lips in my tongue. Thank you, Byers! Now all I can think of was how our lips barely had met in that hallway and her tongue was already inciting me, proding for more; how our breaths became heavy and faster; how I pulled Her body closer to mine, and...

...And how I needed to burn that out of my mouth and mind.

So I get in the car and drive all the way to Casey’s Bar, in Southeast Washington. When I get there, though, I don't even leave the car as I remember that blonde bartender. She would be sure to inform me that my ‘lucky number’ was actually three times less than what I really needed.

I go home instead. The bottle of scotch in the liquor cabinet will have to do. All that is left for me is to drown my sorrows into oblivion. And that’s what I do until I have the burning taste of alcohol in my mouth only. 

When I regain consciousness, the sun has already set and a loud trill pierces my ears. And my head for that matter. I am sprawled, face down on my couch, a pool of drool coming out of my mouth. I unstuck my cheeks from the leather and the difference in height makes it feel like a sword punctures my brain. Looking for the source of the noise, I realize it’s my cell phone that is making that awful sound.

I get up to my feet, as steady as I can under the circumstance, and answer the device. I am greeted by a female voice who calls me ‘Fox’. And the way she says my name –in such a soft, caring voice that doesn’t make me flinch– tells me that it can only be one person.

“Mrs. Scully?”

“Yes, that’s me. Have you seen Dana?”

“I last saw her early this morning. Has something happened?”

“We were supposed to have dinner at 7 p.m, but she neither showed up or called.”

I check the time and the VCR clock tells me it’s 9 p.m. “Have you tried her cell phone?”

“Yes, and her home number as well, but she is not answering either. This is not like her.” her voice became brittle. “I was wondering if you guys had had a last minute trip that she had forgotten to tell me or some other work-related issue had come up. I just… I just have a bad feeling about it all.”

Me too, Mrs. Scully. Me too. I feel the bottom of my stomach chill and sink. “Hang by the phone. I’ll figure out what happened.”

I end the call and dial the Lone Gunmen. When one of them answers the phone I don’t even bother to listen who is on the other side and start barking orders.

“Stop everything you are doing right now. I need your help again. Scully is missing.”

Chapter 2

[thenightling]

My top 15 love interests for romantic incarnations of Dracula (No, they’re not all Mina)

If I was to do a list of favorite love interests for Dracula it would be...

Keep reading for a full list...

16. Bonus:  Lydia from Dark Prince: the true Story of Dracula.

 I list this one here because she’s technically an historic figure and the rest are fictional so I am not sure if she should count or not.  The historic Dracula’s first wife’s name has been lost to history even though the river tributary under Poenari Castle was named for her.   The film Dark Prince: The true Story of Dracula starring Ruldolf Martin names her Lydia. 

Though this film is mostly historic the ending implies that the two are both vampires and walking together through eternity.  

Vladislaus Drakuyla AKA Vlad III of Wallachia, AKA Vlad Tepes (The Impaler)’s first wife died by suicide and the film hinted that this might have been enough to enable her to come back as a vampire.   

Right before Vlad’s assassination in 1776 or early 1777 (at age forty-five or forty six) in the movie we hear her voice, which suggests she’s either waiting for him or has set into motion turning him into a vampire to be with her.

15. Sir Integra Hellsing from the Hellsing.

In the manga and anime Hellsing (and Hellsing Ultimate OVA), instead of having been destroyed by Doctor Abraham Van Helsing after the events of the Dracula novel, Dracula was instead captured and through arcane means bound to serve the Van Helsing bloodline for eternity.  The family founded the Hellsing organization for fighting monstrous threats.  Dracula took on the name Alucard (his own name spelt backward) and may have gone slightly crazy...

He became fiercely loyal to Integra Hellsing, the most recent descendant of Abraham van Helsing to become his Master.   It is a very strange relationship to say the least...

14.   Xander Harris from Buffy The Vampire Slayer.

In Buffy The Vampire Slayer season 5 we have Buffy encounter Dracula for the very first time.  Here he is played by Rudolf Martin, the same actor who played Dracula in Dark Prince: The True Story of Dracula.  In the episode Dracula takes Xander to be his Renfield-like henchman.   At the end of the story Xander is free from Dracula’s spell however the story of their relationship is not over yet.

According to the Buffy: The Vampire Slayer season 8 comics Xander and Dracula have formed an unusual relationship.  Xander taught Dracula about modern fun and pleasures and Dracula became more and more protective of Xander.  When Buffy came and retrieved Xander (again) from Dracula, this time Dracula fell into a deep depression.  Refusing to feed or take care of himself Dracula’s hair and claws grew and he deteriorated into his elderly form.   When he found out that Xander was coming to pay him a visit, he hastily made himself presentable and de-aged to a more attractive / youthful appearance.   

Now the two bicker like long time lovers.   I ship it.

Oh, and Xander still calls him master, despite himself.

Further note on this one: Dracula is actually smart for NOT getting a smartphone.  All cellphones can be traced via GPS.   Do you really want a tracking device in your pocket while hunting human prey?   You just made Blade and Buffy’s jobs a little too easy there.  A practical vampire would not carry such a device while hunting.  

Unfortunately this comic retconned a few important aspects of the TV show version of Dracula and even claimed he doesn’t actually conjure storms, but senses them coming (contradicting the beach scene from the Buffy vs. Dracula episode.)  I wish people would stop de-powering Dracula.  

13.    Jonathan Harker (Multiple versions):   

Dario Argento said that his version of Dracula was attracted to Jonathan Harker.   And in Frank Wildhorn’s Dracula The Musical (Particularly the German production called Dracula das Musical) the scene “Fresh Blood” (Blut) is very errotic.

Fresh Blood (Blut) now featured Jonathan Harker being tied to a bed and his shirt removed as he’s fed upon by Dracula.  But first by Dracula’s brides and grooms of the castle.

Also one of the lyrics in the English language version of the song indicates he wants Jonathan AND Mina as his and plans to make them both vampires.   Thus reaffirming the polyamorous version of Dracula.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slZps47LgKQ

Dracula gets particularly “grabby” with him during his de-aging sequence.

The relationship is pretty one sided...

12.  Renfield (multiple versions).

   The German production of Frank Wildhorn’s Dracula the musical (Dracula das Musical) has Dracula with brides and grooms as opposed to just brides.  Despite this change toward bi or panasexuality, this particular relationship is very one sided.   

Renfield is very much in love with Dracula in many depictions of the character.   This mad man is obsessed with “The Master” and in the Frank Wildhorn Dracula musical he sings a song about how much he loves The Master and how wonderful he is.  The reprise version looks as if Dracula is about to kiss him as they sing a slowed duet version of the refrain but this is where Dracula, instead, snaps his neck.   

Here is the English language version of The Master’s song (Not the slowed reprise duet.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-v1O-asrHg 

There is a deleted scene from Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992) where Renfield laments that he has lost Dracula “to the pretty woman.”   

In Love at First bite, and some other films Dracula actually does give Renfield immortality however.  I suspect the Love at First Bite version is a half-vampire since he can go in the sun (this version of Dracula burns in daylight) and he still needs glasses for his nearsightedness but he has apparently worked for Dracula for at least a century so he was clearly granted immortality even if he can’t turn into a bat or hypnotize.   

11.    Carmilla Karnstein from The Batman vs. Dracula.  

 Carmilla is an odd one because in her original novel she’s portrayed as a lesbian.  She is a vampire whose novel predates Dracula’s own novel.  Her prey of choice are young virginal women.  And she can turn into a large grey or black cat.   She is powerful and independant and in The Batman vs. Dracula she somehow ended up Dracula’s wife.  So I will assume this version is bisexual and they’re probably polyamorous and not at all monogamous. 

The version of Dracula in Fred Saberhagen’s Dracula books, and the 1979 Dracula movie starring Frank Langella are also polyamorous though he claims Mina (Lucy in the 1979 film) is above the others.  Poly-Romantic / Pan-Romantic / and Demi seem to be recurring traits for romantic versions of Dracula.  

 Dracula spends part of The Batman vs. Dracula trying to bring Carmilla back from the dead, using the very life essence and soul of VickI Vale to fuel the spell.  Unfortunately things don’t quite go as planned.

10. Dracula’s mysterious male lover from Marvel comics, Avengers issue 016 (2019).  

Marvel’s Dracula has been confirmed as having had male and female lovers.  This is not the only bisexual or panasexual Dracula in pop culture.  The German production of the Frank Wildhorn Dracula the Musical (Dracula das Musical) gives him brides and grooms in his castle, Dario Argento has said his version of Dracula is bisexual, and Marvel has now confirmed that their version of Dracula has had male and female lovers.      

I don’t know much about this pretty elfish, semi-androgynous character.  Identified as a male vampire lover of Dracula’s from Marvel’s War of the Vampires storyline, Dracula wept blood tears when this unnamed character was killed.  And he (the lover) was clearly willing to die for Dracula.  So this spot is for you, you poor, unnamed elfish male vampire lover! 

I don’t know his name so I am going to call him Samuel.  And in my mind he was the pretty castle librarian whom Dracula became infatuated with.  There.  Headcanon achieved.  

Further note: Usually if you make Dracula cry, it means he’ll take brutal and violent revenge. This is a universal truth with all versions of Dacula.  Never make him cry.  

I would put him at a MUCH better spot on this list but he doesn’t get a lot of time in the comic and we don’t know much about him.   If we only knew more about him he would have a far better spot on this list.  Look how adorable and tragic he is!  He could easily be one of my favorites but all we know is that his death brought Dracula to tears and that yes, they were lovers.  I seriously considered moving this one up the list but I’m bias for this sweet, androgynous, vampire-boy.

Seriously, I want to know this guy’s story.  Dracula cries for him!  In front of his enemies, he weeps for him!   Give us this story, Marvel!   Who is he???

 9.     Amy Peterson from Fright Night (original 1985 version). 

This one is a bit dubious because the vampire is Jerry Dandridge but the 1985 novelization of the film suggested that Jerry is actually count Dracula.   Fright Night played with popular vampire tropes and a few were homages to the 1960s soap opera, Dark Shadows.  In Dark Shadows the vampire, Barnabas Collins, discovered that the young waitress (and later governess) Maggie Evans, was the uncanny look-a-like of his lost love, Josette.  Because of the physical similarity he was convinced she was the reincarnation of his lost love even though with reincarnations you could literally end up looking like anyone or even being another gender after reincarnation.  Barnabas had a painting of Josette that showed the physical similarity.   

In Fright Night Jerry Dandridge meets Amy and becomes obsessed when he realizes how much she resembles a woman he, too, has lost and is pining for.   When Jerry is finally destroyed by the has-been horror actor turned real vampire hunter, Peter Vincent, and also by Amy’s boyfriend, Charley Brewster, his last words are crying out for Amy.   

Though this relationship is very one sided and Amy is clearly under age, when you’re a teenager (as I was) we can’t help but find ourselves fantasizing about being Amy in Jerry’s arms during the nightclub dance scene or the “Come to Me” scene.  Because of problematic aspects of this relationship and because Jerry was never officially revealed as being Dracula in the film, that’s why this is at spot number 8.

The Jerry Dandridge / Dracula character is apparently in a polyamorous relationship as he has a live-in (apparent boyfriend) Billy Cole.  Billy does not exist in the 2011. Fright Night remake, which removed all romantic aspects of the character.   

8.     Evan Barrington-Cabot from the Graphic novel Series Dracula: The Company of Monsters.

In Dracula: The Company of Monsters graphic novel (published in 2011) an evil corporate executive known as Conrad orchestrates raising Dracula from the dead in the hope of using and exploiting him. Conrad’s nephew, Evan comes to understand and respect Dracula and Dracula’s code of honor.  The two respect each other. And like with most stories where Dracula falls in love with the protagonist he decides to stalk him and declare him his.

   When Dracula takes his revenge on his captors, Evan is the only one that he spares.   

He even watches the young man sleep, the way Dracula is often depicted doing to female love interests.  And he makes it very clear he plans on making him a vampire down the line.

This relationship is kept somewhat ambiguous otherwise I might consider putting it at a better spot on the list. 

7.    Ericka Van Helsing from Hotel Transylvania 3.  

 A direct descendant of Abraham Van Helsing (the famous monster hunter) Ericka has a cruise ship for monsters with the sole purpose of luring Count Dracula, whom falls in love with her.  He “Zings.”  Monsters supposedly can only zing once so there is a fan theory that she is the reincarnation of Mavis’ mother.  This is likely true since reincarnation or look-a-like of a first love (or both) is a popular trope in vampire fiction started by Dan Curtis for his TV show Dark Shadows and later carried over into his Dracula movie starring Jack Palance.  

Ericka ultimately realizes she loves Dracula too and the cruise ship captain and hotel owner end up together. Dracula proposes to her at the end of the film and she says yes.   

Also though Dracula is several hundred years old in Hotel Transylvania he is physically in his forties, I suspect Ericka (as a mortal) is biologically older than him, which is a clever touch since Dracula is usually going after young girls in pop culture.  It’s good to see him with an older (well, in appearance) woman.  (”When you’re six hundred years old there’s no such thing as a cougar.” - The Emo Vampire Song.)    Hotel Transylvania 3 is actually my favorite of the franchise and is a sweet film.   

6.  Cindy from Love at First bite.   

Love at First Bite is a comedy from 1979.  Think of Coming to America meets Splash in that a supernatural character, a proverbial fish-out-of-water comes to New York looking for love. 

Dracula believes Cindy to be the reincarnation Mina (“But I lost her in that damn London Fog!”).  He knows her from magazine pictures and interviews and after communists drive him out of his castle he moves to New York where he plans to seduce her.  This consists of licking her ankles while in dog-form, telling her that she is more than merely her appearance, that he understands her and her anxieties.  And dancing to “I love the Night Life”.   The two ultimately fall in love and knowing the truth about Dracula, Cindy opts to spend eternity with him as his vampire queen.  The ending has them fly off together, in bat form, to Jamaica.

5.   Lucy from Dracula (1979). 

  In the 1979 version of Dracula, Frank Langella plays Count Dracula.  Though technically a remake and based on the same play the Bela Lugosi Dracula was based on, there are some distinct changes.  For starters in this version the character we mostly know as Mina in most adaptations is named Lucy and the Lucy character is named Mina.  The names are swapped.   

Not only that but in this version it’s Dracula who is initially seduced.  Though engaged to Jonathan Harker in Edwardian England (set roughly twenty years after most versions of Dracula, which are usually set in 1891) Dracula arrives for dinner at the home of his new neighbors.  Here he offers to hypnotize the sickly Mina to relieve her of a headache (that he very likely induced). Lucy protests, showing her dislike and distrust of such methods and the manipulation of the will of others.  This bold reaction delights Dracula as he is not used to conflict from women.

The next step in the possibly-accidental seduction of Dracula comes when Lucy turns on a phonograph record player and asks him to dance with her, improperly, right in front of her fiance.  

And later after some tragedies, when the rest of the household is unable to uphold an invitation to Dracula’s house for supper, Lucy goes alone.  

I like this one because in this one it’s mostly Dacula who gets seduced.  Lucy wants him and she gets him.  She knows what she’s doing.  Also Dracula isn’t a whining, brooding, emo vampire.  He is lonely but he LIKES what he is. He’s proud of what he is.  He’s fierce and predatory and has all of his traditional powers, including being able to turn into a bat, and wolf, and conjure storms.   So few adaptations remember the wolf form these days.

This was the first truly empowered version of the Mina character (though named Lucy).   And she is not some look-a-like or reincarnation of a previous love.  No.  He simply falls in love with her for who she is. 

It is very likely this version of Dracula is demi (falling in love with personality before any physical attraction) which is also true of the Castlevania version of Dracula and the version in Fred Saberhagen’s Dracula books.

Also based on the last dialogue from Dracula to Lucy (that he would return to her once they stopped hunting him) I choose to believe he faked his death in this version, especially by the wolf howl at the very end and the cryptic smile on Lucy’s face before the end credits.   Long live The Count and Lucy!

4.  Mina from Fred Saberhagen’s Dracula books.

Very similar to Lucy in the 1979 Dracula starring Frank Langella, this is a romantic interest where Dracula sees the person as his equal.    

This Mina is not the reincarnation of a lost love, nor does she resemble a lost love.  When we first see this version of Mina it’s in the novel The Dracula Tape (retelling of Dracula from Dracula’s point of view.)  Dracula shows up at her door to deceive her and try to manipulate her into getting the heroes to leave him be but she doesn’t fall for it. And she wrings the truth out of him.   She’s clever and also manipulative and the two become lovers. 

And in the contemporary world of the later books, though Dracula is having affairs with Mina’s own descendants (It’s a bit weird, I know but at least he’s honest about it.)  he still seeks her for comfort and guidance.  And constantly refers to her as his greatest love.   It’s creepy yet sweet.  

In this continuity he fakes his death at the end of the Dracula Tape.  And when Mina finally dies of apparent old age she comes back as a vampire because his blood is in her system.  As his kind of vampire can change their age based on how heavily they feed, she (like Dracula) can look any age she chooses. (Dracula usually looks roughly forty-five-years-old since that’s about the age he was when he died in his mortal life but sometimes he deliberately abstains from feeding to look older or even elderly.)   

And with Mina to guide him, Dracula becomes the protector (and casual seducer...) of her mortal descendants. 

    Mostly the relationship and personality (as well as powers) are very similar to that of the 1979 Dracula film starring Frank Langella. 

Another reason I like this version of Dracula is the cause of how he became a vampire is sort of ambiguous.   He dies as the historic figure dies but in the Fred Saberhagen novel “A Matter of taste” (Book six of his Dracula novels) it’s revealed that loyalists stole his body and severed head and left a look-a-like in his place.  

They prepared him for burial where candles kept going out and the wounds started to heal (including his head apparently re-attaching itself) so they hastily buried him.   He rose as a vampire and insisted that it was a “transition of will” that he refused to die.   In other words he has no idea how or why he came back as a vampire. 

 Considering most vampires in the Fred Saberhagen Dracula novels are created by a mortal drinking the blood of a vampire, after having been fed on, this made Dracula very unique and mysterious.   I really like this origin.  It’s my favorite origin for Dracula since it explains nothing while explaining everything.

 It’s a lot better than someone renouncing God and drinking blood from a stone cross...    

This one could easily be my favorite female love interest for Dracula, tied with the one I have listed for number 1 but I put two others between this and the number one spot because of their significance to pop culture and my love of some musicals.  

3.  Mina from Frank Wildhorn’s Dracula the Musical.

This is essentially the musical adaptation of the 1992 Bram Stoker’s Dracula movie. The biggest difference is there is no mention of Dracula’s mortal life’s wife and no suggestion that Mina resembles (or is the reincarnation of) an old love. The only problem is there is little explanation given as to why he falls in love with her other than that he seemed to have a mysterious psychic link with her all along.  

Still, the songs are beautiful and the relationship is sweet and this version of Mina is very likable.

 2.   Mina from Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992 film):

Before I proceed with this one, yes.  Yes, I know Dracula and Mina are not actually lovers in the original Dracula novel.  I know that when he makes her drink his blood in the novel that it’s more of a rape.  But this version plays with the love story Dan Curtis created for his Barnabas Collins and later carried over into Dracula.    

Dracula is seeking the reincarnation of his deceased mortal-life wife.   And not only was he lucky enough to find her in a look-a-like body but she’s also the age the first wife was when she died (by total coincidence!).   At first it seems like he just thinks she looks like his dead wife and he can seduce her but he seems shocked when she starts to actually remember details of his home. (watch his expression as she starts to talk about his homeland.  He’s genuinely surprised).  

The two begin a consensual love affair that sadly ends with Mina putting him out of his misery.   

A least it’s implied he was forgiven and got to go to Heaven despite the things he had done (Much like in Stoker’s original novel.  No, really, that’s in there.)

I like the Frank Wildhorn musical adaptation of this version of Dracula slightly better than the original non-musical movie because in the musical you don’t get the weird bleeding cross / renouncing God origin for Dracula’s vampirism.   and 2.  Mina doesn’t seem to be anyone’s reincarnation or look-a-like.  They’re just in love (Even though yes, I know that is not in Bram Stoker’s novel.)  But I do have a soft spot for this one because most of it does follow the novel and the musical probably would not exist if not for this movie.   

1.    Lisa Țepeș from Castlevania.

Lisa fast became one of my favorite love interests for Dracula.  She went to Dracula’s castle seeking knowledge and bravely stood up to the antisocial vampire.

Much like Lucy from the 1979 Dracula film she talked back to him.  She was bold and brave.   She wanted to learn and she wanted the ability to save lives and damn it, she would risk her own life to do it.  Dracula fell in love with this personality almost instantly.   It was her personality, not her physical beauty that he became infatuated with.    

And they were both happily nerdy together.   She humanized Dracula and reminded him that there is good in the world.   Dracula married her and the two had a son together.  

For her sake he learned to trust and love. But it was for that love that he was driven to madness by her death...

Lisa was only forty-five-years-old when she was burned at the stake as a witch while simply trying to help people as a medical doctor.  

This version of Dracula was a good man deep inside but pushed to madness and governed by his vampiric instincts he couldn’t bear to be without her.  And when she was murdered he blamed almost all of humanity (save for a select few) for it.    

  And so Dracula began a subconscious quest to be destroyed by going through the motions of wanting to destroy the world. This is not the only plot where Dracula plans to destroy the world and the protagonist catches on that it’s an elaborate and “world’s longest suicide note”.  This was also done in the Hammer horror film The Satanic Rites of Dracula.   But here it was for heartbreak of a deeply lonely man.   

[unwillingadventurer]

 Wrote a little DW fic in honour of the 50th anniversary of the Moon Landing. Ian and Barbara watch it on TV and muse about things.

...

With two cups of tea in her hand, Barbara yawned and then smiled as she handed her husband Ian his trusty ‘best teacher’ mug.  On the table were a selection of Mars bars and Milky Ways.

“Did I miss anything? Stepped on the moon yet?” Barbara asked as she sat next to Ian on the sofa and then glanced at the television.

“No. But it’s getting exciting. The tension’s building.” Ian undid his pyjama top and laughed as he revealed a t-shirt underneath that said ‘been there, done that.’ “You got yours on, Barbara?”

She smiled and opened her dressing gown to reveal the same t-shirt design. “I feel as though something might go wrong. I’m very nervous.”

“It’ll be alright. We know it will. Vicki already blabbed about it when we were on the moon with her.”

“Yes, we were very annoyed with her for that, weren’t we?”

“She feigned innocence, pretending she thought the moon landing was during Victorian times. She couldn’t believe that by our time we weren’t there yet.” He chuckled to himself. “I wish she was here with us now.”

“I miss them too,” Barbara said, squeezing his hand, “but it reminds me of the good times. That occasion we were on the moon was quite an experience.”

“And now other humans will experience it but with the whole world watching. No one will ever know what we did.”

“True, but we were the first,” Barbara said with a smile.

“Still it’s wonderful what humans can do. The Doctor made fun of us all the time but look at this, look what we’ve done. Look where we’re going. Isn’t it fantastic?”

“It’s marvellous. I’ve got chills. Look at it, Ian, it’s happening. History is happening. We’ve been out there but I’m almost as excited seeing it on our small television screen in black and white.”

They both fell silent and watched the scene play out in front of them for several moments. Both could not look away, captivated by the spectacle and significance of what they were witnessing. Ian placed his arm around Barbara and she rested her head on his shoulder.

“Shame Johnny’s too young for this,” Ian said, “tucked up in his little cot he has no idea how momentous this is.”

“He’ll have other momentous events, I’m sure of it.”

“Hopefully happy ones.”

“Vicki’s told us of some of what we’ve yet to face.” Barbara sighed.

“The Doctor wasn’t too happy about that was he?”

There was another brief silence.

“Ian, do you really think we’re the only humans to travel to other planets and galaxies?”

“I don’t think so. There must be dozens of white-haired aliens kidnapping unsuspecting hard-working Earth people and transporting them to other worlds.”

They both laughed. Ian yawned. “Wish there was a rocket to take me to bed.”

“You don’t want to miss a moment of this.”

“No, I don’t and I’ve got my year fours writing essays on it. Can’t wait to read them after the summer holidays.”

Ian took Barbara’s hand in his.

“I’m glad we were in space together, Barbara. Most people fall in love under the stars not upon.”

She swatted him away. “It wasn’t always quite so romantic but I know what you mean. You’re glad to be back to Earth though?”

“Never been happier. We’ve had our little adventure, let’s enjoy watching someone else’s turn.”

[kiss-my-freckle]

"He has no idea what normal is. His entire existence isn't normal."

1x17-1x22

Everything about Stefan's character shift is hilarious. They've got him acting like a blood junkie after Damon's shift, now referring to Katherine as a bitch. Though he's not done mourning, Damon is definitely single because she never cared. I consider Miss Mystic Falls the beginning of the end for Stefan and Elena. It's not just their dance I love, but the fact that she's wearing her vervain necklace. How honest they are... getting intimate with their eyes while Stefan is off compelling another contestant. The bad brother is now the good brother and the good brother is too busy hankering for blood to care about how strongly Damon and Elena are attracted to eachother. "Because he doesn't want to be me. That doesn't mean that deep down he's not." The beautiful truth. Stefan is Damon. And Damon is Stefan.

The blood junkie acts like a junkie. Stefan is horrible on blood, and worsened by his desire to hide that side of himself from Elena. It's one thing for her to see his vampiric face. Quite another to see him being controlled by his hunger. I love the flashbacks he has while locked in the basement. For someone who doesn't wanna tie Elena to Katherine, he's doing a great job of it. His confinement pushes back to the start of the series and the purpose for it. They had no choice, he was putting people in danger and risking exposure. As the storyline continues with a new gadget that kills vampires, Stefan already knows Damon is trying to seduce Elena. His jealousy worsened when Isobel told Elena about Damon's feelings for her. Stefan is scared, and he should be. The friendship between her and Damon offers relatability. They're a lot alike, and they're building a great foundation. I'll likely put that to gif when I'm done. Stefan's jealousy pushes him. He has a hard time handling the fact that he became Damon in his character shift and basically evened the playing field. Damon doesn't show his good side often, but in that hidden side of him lives a promise. He doesn't write checks his ass can't cash by playing the good brother. Vampires can't promise to be, they can only try. Stefan turns to Elena to discuss his jealousy, but his problem isn't Damon's actions. He should worry about the way Damon can make her feel. While Stefan talks to Elena, Damon has an honest moment with Jeremy. The result of Stefan confronting him about his intentions, and Damon taking it to heart. He apologizes for turning Vicky and admits the truth about his humanity switch. He's had his humanity since the start of the series, but he doesn't like admitting his feelings. Yes, he cares.  

I love Damon's scene with Katherine on the porch because he believes he's talking to Elena. It's the perfect scene to follow his conversation with Jeremy about cumpulsion and his humanity switch. He admits his change of heart, wanting to protect the town he originally wanted to destroy. "How does that happen?" He wanted to destroy it because of Katherine. Now he wants to protect it because of Elena. That ball of snow and ice found a new home. I like how he kisses his past and his future at the same time. The woman he was in love with and came home for, and the woman he fell in love with over the course of the first season. Quite symbolic. 1x22 places a lot of focus on their friendship and Stefan's jealousy. Damon doesn't need to cause trouble to make Elena fall for him. "You don't know what I look like when I'm not in love with you." Everything he's done up to this point has been out of his love for Katherine. Elena needs to see what Damon looks like when he's in love with her, then she'll fall in love with him. 

[brindlestorm]

Is It Ashfur?

SPOILERS FOR THE SILENT THAW PREVIEW AND SQUIRRELFLIGHT’S HOPE BELOW

Also, it’s hella long. Sorry about that

So, is Ashfur possessing Bramblestar? That’s the most common theory, though a lot of us don’t like it. A new character would be refreshing as the villain if a bit confusing as to why they have a grudge against the clans.

[Again, spoilers for Squirrelflight’s Hope]

Near the end of the book, Squirrelflight and Leafpool arrive in Starclan and are greeted by Larksong, who died of poisoning (a mouse ate a plant that made it poisonous to cats) and his son Flickerkit (who was named in Starclan, Flickerkit’s name was the key to getting Sparkpelt to believe that Squirrelflight was in Starclan for a period of time).

After reuniting with loved ones, Firestar takes Leafpool and Squirrelflight to see Tallstar, Bluestar, Crookedstar, Yellowfang, Littlecloud, and Moth Flight to be judged before Starclan. An important thing to note here is that Squirrelflight and Leafpool are the ONLY CATS known to be able to argue their place in Starclan.

All these cats were ones that the two knew at some point in their lives, and I believe that Moth Flight was there because Leafpool specifically broke her code.

The point here though is that cats like Hollyleaf, Ashfur, Appledusk, Ravenwing, Yellowfang, Bluestar, and others didn’t have to prove their case to be allowed in, despite their crimes.

(Their ‘crimes’ listed here)

Hollyleaf- Broke the code, killed a clanmate, abandoned her clan Ashfur- Attempted to kill his leader and four of his clanmates Appledusk- Took a mate outside of his clan, didn’t help kits cross the river, therefore, letting them drown. Ravenwing- The catalyst to Mapleshade’s breakdown, if he kept quiet the kits would be alive, indirectly broke the code. Yellowfang- Took a mate as a medicine cat, didn’t help her son down the right path which led to more suffering. Bluestar- Took a mate outside her clan, almost ignored one of Starclan’s prophecies for her kits, took her kits to Riverclan in the dead of Leaf-bare which lead to Mosskit’s death, ignored Goosefeather’s warnings about Tigerkit, didn’t acknowledge the signs that he was a traitor, eventually declared war on Starclan (Yes, I know that this was because of her depression and paranoia, I’ll get to it soon).

Obviously, I don’t believe that Blue, Holly, Yellow, or (begrudgingly) Raven deserved the Dark Forest, Hollyleaf was protecting her family, Bluestar was dealt a ROUGH life, Yellowfang more than made up for her crimes, and Ravenwing was doing his job.

But Starclan was hard on Squirrel and Leaf, to the point that I holey agreed with Squirrelflight’s sentiments during that whole segment. 

But where should Starclan be drawing the line?

Blue, Holly, and Yellowfang ALL held remorse for their actions. Ashfur didn’t, and I doubt Appledusk did either. Ashfur knowingly tried to get Firestar killed, we don’t really know if him sending Birchpaw to warn Brambleclaw was an act of cowardice for what he did, or if it was part of the plan to get Brambleclaw to the scene so it could be pinned on him.

Ashfur tried to kill the three, one who was his former apprentice, another a loyal warrior, and a blind MEDICINE CAT APPRENTICE. He knew what he was doing, he had a motive and a clear mind. He let them live because he believed that by revealing this secret, he could uproot Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw’s ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP, therefore causing more damage

(Tbh, I like to think that if the three hadn’t found out about Leafpool’s side and Ashfur went forward with it, Squirrelflight would have admitted to adopting them as kits, but because they needed a mother, which she wanted to be. She then would have told Brambleclaw that she was afraid she may never be able to have kits so she adopted without telling him. THEY WERE STILL THE THREE’S PARENTS DAMMIT)

Appledusk was an asshole, moving on.

I’d like to compare Ashfur and Mapleshade for a moment, their situations seem rather similar.

Both- Fell in love, only for it to end badly

Ashfur was replaced by Brambleclaw (Same clan relationships) Mapleshade was replaced by Reedshine (Different clans)

Both- Felt cheated by the ones they loved Mapleshade- Actually had kits with this mate Ashfur-  Didn’t have any kits

Mapleshade- Wanted to have a life with Appledusk after being banished with her kits Ashfur-  Attempted to make Brambleclaw look bad to win Squirrelflight back

Both- Wanted revenge when they were wronged by their clanmate(s)

Mapleshade followed through Ashfur was not able to (Whether out of cowardice or being thwarted, I am unsure)

Really, the only difference between them was that Mapleshade was able to get her revenge when Ashfur couldn’t.

BUT

Mental Illnesses are canon in warriors

Bluestar- Depression, anxiety, paranoia, dementia Graypool- Dementia Ravenpaw- General anxiety Goosefeather- Delusions Sol- Sociopath (as confirmed by Vicky on her facebook page) Hollyleaf- OCD (Personal opinion, she was obsessed with the warrior code to the point that she actually scared Jaypaw at one point)

And those are just the ones that I know of.

Mapleshade also suffered from delusions after the traumatic death of her kits, she believed that she was actually seeing and hearing her kits telling her to get revenge so that they could be at peace in starclan. And considering that warriors DO believe in ghosts and the afterlife, this is an entirely plausible assumption.

Now, in Starclan we know that cats are judged before they actually wake up in Starclan or the Dark Forest, which means that if we can assume that these cats have human-level intelligence, they also have some sort of trial system. Which also means that they have set-precedents.

Mapleshade going to the Dark Forest should have set the precedent that any cat who breaks the code and takes a mate outside of his or her clan (and kills other cats) should go to the Dark Forest as well.

Bluestar went to Starclan, despite taking Oakheart as a mate and indirectly killing her own kit by taking her into unsafe conditions during Leafbare.

Silverstream went to Starclan, despite taking Graystripe as her mate and died in the process. Her death doesn’t necessarily absolve her of her ‘crime’, but she went to Starclan anyway.

It probably looks like I’m grasping at straws here, but that’s the point I’m trying to make. Starclan drew the line too soon, and as such became more understanding when warriors sought mates outside of their clans.

Mapleshade was Starclan’s first mistake, though she did kill three cats (A medicine cat, a clanmate, and her former mate), she was not sound of mind when she did so. She believed she was acting on the whims of her dead kits so that they could rest in peace.

She may not have deserved Starclan, but she didn’t deserve the Dark Forest either. I remember seeing an AU where Mapleshade recovered her sanity after she died and was told that the only way she could join Starclan was to help a living cat find their way. She tries to do this in the AU but Appledusk undermines her, and she eventually considers embracing the Dark Forest’s values.

The only thing I would change about that AU is that I would make Mapleshade a ghost, stuck on the living plane until she completed her duty (and maybe she’s even granted access to the living plane whenever she wants so that she can keep helping her clanmates).

Ashfur was Starclan’s second mistake. He knew exactly what he was doing when he helped Hawkfrost lay the trap for Firestar, blocking the three from crossing the burning branch was a CHOICE, even fighting Lionpaw/blaze like an enemy warrior with the intent to HARM was a choice. Being blinded by rage is not the same as having delusions. 

Maybe Starclan allowed him to join their ranks was because they were afraid that he’d be another Mapleshade, that he’d help recruit for the Dark Forest. But Ashfur’s sentence would have been justified, more so than Mapleshade (in my opinion).

We know that Jayfeather disapproves of Ashfur in Starclan, but what about Hollyleaf? Well apparently, she doesn’t care.

Squirrelfight’s reaction to seeing Ashfur was immediate hostility, though Ashfur didn’t speak to her, merely dipped his head and looked at Hollyleaf. Hollyleaf simply blinks at him, and Squirrelflight nods curtly.

When Squirrelflight comments on Ashfur being in Starclan rather than the Dark Forest, Hollyleaf says “I guess, but he’s apologized. I think he’s changed.”

Direct quote from page 339 of Squirrelflight’s Hope

Squirrelflight nodded curtly at Ashfur. She wasn’t sure she could be as forgiving as Hollyleaf. After all, Ashfur had threatened to destroy the happiness she’d found with Bramblestar and almost succeeded.

Another thing that’s interesting about Starclan is that things seem to matter less, the problems a cat had with others in the living world are trivial when they’re dead, Hollyleaf states when asked again about if living with Ashfur is strange “Not really, after a while, things that happened in the forest seems less important.”

So that’s how Hollyleaf feels, at peace with everything. Even Sandstorm says that there’s less to fight over, but is that how everyone feels in Starclan?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just to be clear, I am neither for nor against Ashfur Being Good. I hated how his character seemed to flip around just for the sake of romance drama between Squirrel and Bramble. I wish he had a better character arc, I wish that certain things from previous books had actually affected him continued into future books rather than being forgotten.

That being said, everything I have pulled up on him has been based on what he HAS done and what the Erin’s turned him into.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, my theory here is that Ashfur is kind of at peace in Starclan. He doesn’t react badly to seeing Squirrelflight and Leafpool because he’s dead, they’re probably dying, and the Dark Forest battle isn’t something he wants to repeat.

But then Squirrelflight was able to return to the lake as a ghost by submerging herself in Starclan’s Moonpool.

How do we know that Ashfur wasn’t watching her? What if this gave him the idea to return to the lake? He could have initially gone just to see his clanmates, but seeing Bramblestar and Squirrelflight reconcile may have returned his anger, enough to make him want revenge. 

Another thing to add here is what do we know about ghosts? Needletail and the others weren’t able to move on to starclan without help, they were trapped in the living plane as ghosts. We don’t know if Starclan cats CAN return to the living plane at will, or if the Dark Forest battle was the exception.

The timeline that we have puts Tigerheartstar’s kits as still apprentices, who we know were made warriors prior to Bristlepaw and her siblings, and it’s not yet Leafbare in Squirrelflight’s Hope. This gives us a window of time that Ashfur may have used to return to the lake as a ghost. 

Ashfur has the motive and the means, his spirit likes on so there’s no confusing explanation for a supposedly double dead cat possessing Bramblestar.

And most importantly? Squirrelflight’s Hope tells us that even though many cats were forgiven for breaking the code, part of Starclan doesn’t accept that. They ARE angry that the code is being disregarded, Littlecloud even says, “What’s the point in having rules if cats can break them whenever they like?”

Squirrelflight notices how Moth Flight seems to be determined to keep Leafpool out of Starclan.

I can’t think of anything else to add, so here’s the summary of this theory

Ashfur has the means and the motives, Starclan is angered by all of the code breakers, and Ashfur has is known for taking advantage of situations for his own gain.

It could still be an ancient Starclan cat, fed up with the codebreakers, maybe even Moth Flight herself.

(Lost Stars, Bramblestar says to Squirrelflight, “You would make excuses for them, you’ve always had a soft spot for weak cats.” This could be Ashfur, or Moth Flight who was her judge in Starclan.)

Anywho, that’s all I’ve got. Lemme know what you guys think!

[lovecanbesostrange]

I have a lot of feelings about the latest Grey’s Anatomy ep “Silent All These Years” and so let me ramble a bit. I can’t put everything into well written and organized words, but I have to type something:

First off all, hats off to writer Elisabeth R. Finch and director Debbie Allen. Amazing work. The script is tight, tackles so many issues about trauma (related to rape/abuse) all at once, without ever losing the focus that is on the victims. The SURVIVORS. They are the ones talking, they are the ones the camera follows, no unnecessary distractions. We are here to listen to their stories and empathize with their emotions. As hard as it is.

That said, I want to get one tiny thing out of the way. I like how the guys are handled, that we do see. There is Alex, supportive husband #1 who clearly wants to do everything that helps, having no clue what is going on (being concerned, not mad). There is DeLuca, who catches on to what Jo is saying without saying it and from there on following her lead, whatever she asks. And we get this minimalistic b-story about Tuck dating and getting a very important talk about consent from Warren. That is really good, because he is the young generation, the one we have to raise to be better. (Warren could’ve thrown in that Tuck can say no himself anytime as well, but that’s the smallest missed opportunity ever. The sports analogy of a time out is so good and easy to grasp.)

Where to even start? Just to pick something let me go with how trauma is not an Olympic discipline where the winner gets a medal. Because they have all lost already. In different ways. And you can’t deny somebody their feelings of pain and hurt, because you have been hurt as well. It does not work like that and that is the biggest take away I get from Jo and Vicki meeting. It should be a common sense statement, something we can agree on easily, but we are so trained to look for somebody being wrong, for somebody being right, for a conflict with clear edges. There are none.

Vicki was raped. At a time when she wasn’t even allowed to think about it as rape, because she said yes to a date. (It always makes me sick knowing that it was only in 1997 when German law ruled that rape in a marriage was a crime at all.) She felt all the shame and guilt and was completely alone, because how to even ask for help? To hammer this point home we get Abby’s storyline. Who so randomly bumped into Jo at the hospital and so accidentally found a person who would not leave her for a second. (I know Meredith would have caught on, just like Teddy did. But Jo was in this headspace already, and sometimes finding the help you need is dumb luck and that is a terrifying reality.) Vicki had nobody to push her, to talk to. She went down the path of staying silent. And nobody has the right to yell at her for that.

But of course Jo is hurt. And she has to now re-arrange everything she ever imagined about her biological mother and the circumstances that lead to her being left at a firestation as a baby who never did anything wrong. Just think about it, with all the crap that Jo has lived through, the one thing she never imagined was that she was conceived during rape. That was too far a reach for her. And I guess that is in part because she herself had an abortion, because she could not imagine bringing a child into her marriage with Paul.

That bomb went off. Wow. Like I could already see some pro-lifers gleefully using this episode. That if Vicki would’ve had an abortion, like we advocate for rape victims to have the choice to, there would be no Jo. It would be so easy to fall into this trap. But nope, Jo then talks about how she was in a different, yet also desperate, situation and she did the best she could think of – which was an abortion. And I dare anybody to try to weigh these two things and tell me there is an outcome that won’t leave people traumatized one way or the other. It is so not a sport and there is no always right/always wrong answer. And that makes this scene, that is just a long conversation, so difficult and powerful and brutally honest. That is something that more people need to fully understand.

Vicki never wanted to hurt Jo. The fact she clung to these stories that mothers feel all the love and joy once the child is born – she tried. And I admire that so much. But then there was only more pain. For nine months she was reminded of this event, she didn’t even dare name rape and the baby that came out of it made this open wound so much worse. And how much do you think she hated herself for resenting a baby? How do you even start to get back into your right mind? The way Vicki talks about this – it’s a memory, it’s a thing in the past, and with one flick of a switch it’s all fresh.

Michelle Forbes does such a good job to show this. Vicki opens the door, her kids are in the kitchen, she’s open to whoever just knocked, she gets the mail and all is well. All is this normal world she knows. And one word from Jo, who is a stranger, and it’s like her rapist is breathing down her neck. That is a trigger. They just show the thing. (btw as always such a good Meredith voice over for the beginning and end to remind us about this week’s theme) Vicki has a good life, a family, a job where she helps others. And all that is taken away in a second and she is put back into the worst place she was ever in.

I like how both, Vicki and Jo, have a moment where they get up from the table. The way Vicki asks if Jo came to hurt her and that worked. So here is something I wonder about Jo in this situation. Letting out her frustration and anger that has built up over the years is one thing. And it’s clear to us that she doesn’t have a real game plan. What to say, what to expect, what to even get out of this. There is a lot of uncertainty and she lets emotions take over. But what does it do to her to realize that her very existence is a trigger for Vicki? When she asks if she looks like her father. A word Vicki rejects for his contribution (she is the biological mother, not a mom though, but he is even less – a point explored in the film [i]Room[/i], with a far different set up of course). That nameless TA, that raped Vicki, never knew about Jo and now she has to live with the knowledge that this connection hurts somebody so bad on so many levels…

Vicki just listens to whatever Jo has to say. And how does that feel, that the baby she gave up had no break in life from the start and fell for an abusive man. (This is also of note, Jo makes it very clear when talking to Abby, that she suffered through domestic violence, but was not raped, nothing “like this” happened to her.) Once again, a tiny bit of luck was all that was missing. Being placed with a good foster family at the right time and Jo’s life could’ve been completely different. And now Jo and Vicki are facing off, both with their very own trauma, that can all be traced back to one night. But it was society that failed them both. They are not enemies, but how to reconcile the different points of view here?

Abby is the story in the now that anchors it all. As sickening as it is, I’m sure if we just had that diner conversation randomly thrown in as maybe even the B-plot, it would be easy to dismiss. Jo being angry, a woman talking about a rape that happened over 30 years ago… but seeing what Abby has to go through, just to get help, is the reminder of what rape means. And it is not about some quick sex. It’s not over and done and here is what the immediate aftermath looks like. Without being exploitative. They show how invasive and almost degrading it is to get that rape kit done. Even with the most compassionate people by your side, it’s torture all over again. And in the end that is for the benefit of the survivor.

Those moments before, when Abby vocalizes her fears, how she knows these stories and how that damn kit might never do anything good and she wants it done and be over with it – I felt all of that in my bones. So, another kudos here to Khalilah Joi. Both guest actresses give it their all. But Jo pushes. Against protocol. Teddy does everything the best she can think of and I like how she talks about giving Abby the tiniest bit of agency back in all of this. But Jo pushing with the right words, putting it into perspective that later on emotions change and this is about having a chance.

I love how Abby grabs Jo’s hand in a panic and then they never let go of each other. You can even see Jo switching hands so she can close the curtain and so it’s clear she did that again when getting her coat off. Never letting go. It’s such a simple gesture, yet so powerful and the clear picture of not being alone. Jo saying “I got you, Abby. I’m not going anywhere.” It’s a lifeline and I wish we could live in a world where this is the default response to get from doctors (other people in general, especially those with the knowledge/power to directly help). This is all about Abby, helping her and never is it made about the rapist or even the exact circumstances. It should not matter that she was out to get drinks. And that she questions herself if she should’ve taken another route home…

The most striking visual is of course lining up all the women so Abby won’t have to see a male face. And more than that, faces of so many women who are all willing to be here for her, symbolizing she is not alone. On the one hand it is mortifying, but on the other Abby isn’t the one who needs to hide. She survived. The only thing she deserves is help and support. And so we get this scene as a heavy show-don’t-tell of sorts.

“It’s not your fault.”

This is not an episode about fault. The abandoned-child-seeks-biological-parent has been played out in very many different ways. But this is not that story. Jo’s anger is understandable. Vicki’s behavior is understandable. Abby’s reluctance is understandable. Three women, all have their own story and in some ways Jo and Vicki have hurt each other, are hurting each other, but it’s not their fault. Because it is very complicated.

Oh, I haven’t mentioned her specifically, Camilla Luddington is once again doing all the small details just right. I have to say, in the end when Alex walks up to her and she is somewhat startled, that was like watching her back in “1-800-799-7233” again. Jo is on auto-pilot flight mode. That hurts. One day she sits down with her mother, triggering her pretty much by existing. And the next she is with a freshly traumatized patient being the emotional support.

[aion-rsa]

How a Batman 1989 Deleted Scene Cost Sean Young the Co-Starring Role

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1989’s Batman is widely regarded as a time-tested, transformative entry for the comic book movie genre, and its $411.5 million worldwide gross ($872.8 million adjusted for inflation,) certainly shook an unsuspecting film industry to its core. However, for actress Sean Young, who was initially set to co-star in the film as Vicki Vale opposite Michael Keaton’s Caped Crusader, it represents a point in which misfortune pulled her away from a prospective mainstream breakthrough. Indeed, not only did a pre-production accident force her off the film, but the scene for which she was preparing ended up getting cut from the movie!

Director Tim Burton’s choice of Sean Young for Batman’s leading lady role, photojournalist Vicky Vale, seemed auspicious, since it brought the genre experiment a rising star with pertinent gravitas from roles in then-recent offering like Blade Runner and Dune, along with dramas like No Way Out and Wall Street. It was a positive outlier against the buildup from the film’s 1988 production, during which it was preemptively savaged by fans and critics over Burton’s selection of comedic character actor Michael Keaton—fresh from starring in Burton’s 1988 hit, Beetlejuice —as opposed to a conventionally imposing action movie star. However, a fateful accident would see blonde bombshell Kim Basinger take the role of Vicki, depriving Young of the film’s defiant, industry-altering success.

Amongst a normal number of revised permutations, the Batman script, written by Sam Hamm and Warren Skaaren, once had equestrian leanings—initially involving Vicki—designed to build toward a major action sequence. Consequently, in a setback that now resides in the realm of comic book movie legend, Young, who had been in London for four weeks of read-throughs and rehearsals for Batman’s imminent production in Pinewood Studios, was practicing her horse-riding skills when she was thrown off and sustained a fractured arm. That led producer Jon Peters—who had purportedly convinced Burton to cast Keaton—to suggest that the incapacitated Young be replaced with Kim Basinger, as cameras were set to roll in a week. The suggestion was immediately accepted, resulting in the replacement being quickly flown in, costing Young what was to be the biggest role of her career.

“They did spring the horse-riding thing on me, and I fell and had an accident,” explains Young in a recent interview with The Daily Beast. “Could they have kept me on the show and shot around my arm? They probably could have. I think [producer] Jon Peters had this hard-on for Kim Basinger, and he saw an opportunity to exit me, and he did. And no one ended up being very happy with that choice. But it is what it is. I had an accident and then got walked to the door.”

Warner Bros.

The scene in question was the intended start of Bruce Wayne and Vicki Vale’s first date, set at Wayne Manor. While the final cut started the date inside the dreary, echoey estate, the date would have instead started outside, at the horse stables. There, we briefly see the two riding horses—with Vicki coming across as the more experienced rider—before they dismount and kick off their flirtations. In an example of intended foreshadowing, Bruce says, furtively alluding to his secret crimefighting exploits, “Horses love me. I keep falling off. Maybe that’s why they love me. You should see me, I’m one big mass of bruises.” At that point, they walk off to a patio on which Alfred (Michael Gough) awaits them with a bottle of champagne,” at which point their date continues inside. Indeed, it’s a minor scene, and, as we were meant to see later in the film, Vicki’s horseback riding was merely a plot device designed to set Bruce on an arc for his own horseback action sequence; an aspect that lends Young’s role-costing accident a cruel element of irony.

The eventual payoff to the stable scene would have manifested after a scene that did make the film (at least partially), in which Bruce visits Vicki in her apartment, hemming and hawing as he tries to muster up the courage to reveal to her that he’s Batman. Of course, the Joker (Jack Nicholson)—enamored with Vicki—then interrupts at the door, resulting in a confrontation with Bruce that ends with Joker—after dropping the crucial clue of the “You ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?” line—shooting Bruce with a pistol, leaving Joker convinced that he killed him before leaving Vicki with an offer to consider. As we saw in the movie, Bruce secretly lined his shirt with a bullet-stopping metal tray, and pulled a Batman-esque disappearing act on Vicki after Joker departed. However, this scene was initially designed to kick off an elaborate chase sequence.

Read more

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In a major contrast from Batman’s onscreen form, early drafts of the script’s apartment scene had the Joker kidnapping Vicki after he revealed the suicide of girlfriend Alicia (Jerry Hall), and smashed the porcelain mask that covered her acid scars. Indeed, the famous, “You can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs” line was to be followed by a dramatic cut, after which we see that Vicki was taken by the Joker and his men in their convoy of purple vehicles. At this point, Bruce arrives on the scene to find a mounted policeman in bad shape, sporting a familiar unnatural grin delivered by Smilex gas. Thus, without any other vehicle nearby, Bruce commandeers the cop’s horse and proceeds to chase down the Joker’s convoy. As the chase through Gotham starts to prove fruitless, a red symbol light flashes on Bruce’s belt, at which point a Volkswagen Bug—conspicuously going 70 mph—closes in on him, revealing the driver to be Alfred, who arrives bearing a bundle of fresh Batman attire, resulting a quick pit-stop before the rescue commences. It’s a major divergence from the film itself, in which Vicki wasn’t taken by the Joker at all, save for the climactic scene atop Gotham Cathedral.

“Falling off that horse was something kind of—I couldn’t hang on. There’s kind of a poetic symbolism about that,” lamented Young back in 2005 DVD documentary Shadows of The Bat: The Cinematic Saga of The Dark Knight. “In a way, I look back at that particular time in my life and I go, ‘Wow, I wish I’d been able to hang onto that horse. I wish I’d been able to do that.’ Because then the turning point in my particular career—I would have been able to stay on the film, I would have been in a big box office hit, I would have been able to go on to other big box office hits. That kind of domino effect would have occurred in my career. That was the turning point in my career where that didn’t happen.”

DC Comics

The horseback scenes, while ultimately cut, weren’t as excessive as they seem in retrospect. That’s because it was always clear that Burton’s version of Batman was to reflect the darker elements that came into prominence with Frank Miller’s groundbreaking, profoundly influential 1986 DC Comics miniseries The Dark Knight Returns. By no coincidence, that comic story contains a scene in which Batman rides a horse off into battle; an element of the story that created iconic imagery. Thus, it was merely a reflection of the revolutionary influences—divorcing Batman from the comical stereotype from the 1960s Adam West TV series—that helped form the film. Additionally, one draft even used this sequence as the vehicle to set up the origin story of Robin.

Yet, the saga of Sean Young and Batman continued in the public sphere—sans horses. As the sequel that would eventually become 1992’s Batman Returns had just cast Michelle Pfeiffer for the key role of Selina Kyle/Catwoman, Young felt slighted for not having been given the chance to audition for the part. It’s an understandable feeling, given the way she was unceremoniously recast, which belied any serious volition for her to field the part, since they could have possibly shot around her broken arm during the production’s initial months. Consequently, Young started what became a very public campaign to be cast as Catwoman. This culminated in a 1991 appearance on The Joan Rivers Show (seen just below), in which Young showed up in a homemade Catwoman getup and—through a sultry performance of the character evocative of Eartha Kitt—took Tim Burton to task on his apparent reluctance to even meet with Young in any capacity.

“Even if he wasn’t even going to use me in the sequel, I can’t understand why he wouldn’t at least see me. He wouldn’t see me,” exclaimed Young—at this point out of character—to the late talk show host, who then brought up the rumor that Burton thought the Walkie-talkie Young liked to carry during those days was a gun. “How would I know what he thinks,” Young responded. “He wouldn’t see me, he ducked me, he ran. And then later on, my agent told me that he was going to hire a bodyguard because I was like a dangerous lethal person.”

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Nevertheless, Batman‘s nixed horseback scenes ultimately proved to be a major undoing for Sean Young. Her status as a rising headliner evaporated after that tumble. She would subsequently suffer from, as she now alleges, being blackballed by prominent Hollywood figures such as Steven Spielberg, Warren Beatty and, yes, Tim Burton. In fact her most prominent post-80s movie was the co-starring (twist-touting) role in 1994’s Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, which Young says she only landed because star Jim Carrey advocated on her behalf in spite of studio Morgan Creek. Yet, Young has always worked steadily, and was recently seen in director Tracy Wren’s 2020 drama, Rain Beau’s End, with multiple movies still on her backlog. So, don’t discount the prospect of a potential Sean Young-issance just yet.

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