#yes I am writing post ftf fic

[thursdayinspace]

You know what really kills me about the hallway scene? That it's not them consciously and intentionally making the choice to act on this pull between them, but that it's their defences crumbling away. Their hearts have beaten themselves sore with longing and suppressed all-consuming love. And now she is trying to leave, but it hurts to even just stretch that bond between them. And he's confessing his feelings because she needs to know that his world makes no sense without her.

When she steps into that hug and closes her eyes, she's powerless against everything she feels for him. When she looks into his eyes, she's not offering him her heart, she's admitting that it's already his.

The look in his eyes, asking her if she really doesn't know? His soul is wide open, there is not a single protective wall in place. He doesn't have the strength. He's pleading, hurting, and completely and utterly hers.

They're powerless, helpless; weak and bruised and aching from keeping this secret straining against the confines of their hearts for so long. There's only one way forward that won't break them. And regardless of what happens next, they admit they want to take that step, enough to keep them from shattering.

It's the absolute anguish in the moments before they start leaning in for the kiss that makes it so overwhelming. They try so hard not to for years. But when it comes to walking away, their bodies and souls rebel so hard they can no longer pretend.

[naranjapetrificada]

Okay I've gotta come into your askbox to scream about From the Firmament!! I am just so continuously impressed by the obvious care you put into every single sentence. Anyway (and this totally isn't just me fishing for more about the next chapter): what's the latest on the Izzy POV section? He's so frustrating for me to write personally (lack of joy and whimsy gets to me 🙃) so I can't wait to see how you handle him!

You are always, always welcome to scream into my ask box, my dear! And it's funny you should ask about the Izzy POV section, because I actually have a draft WIP Wednesday post from this week that was gonna include a snippet of that. In the way that I needed to get the first chapter posted in order to get certain worldbuilding facts established or I was never going to move on, it kind of feels like I need to get eyes on Izzy as he appears in the world of FtF.

It's not even his character that I feel like I'm struggling with anymore, it's mainly a) creating a believable voice and even moreso b) deciding what information to reveal/examine through him vs other characters. His voice is tricky for a lot of reasons but at the end of the day I can wave my AU magic wand and attribute things to the circumstances being different. The other thing though? God.

It feels so fundamental that his perspective should be heavily skewed and extremely divergent from Ed's in particular, and that's felt so hard to pull off. It matters what elements of their shared backstory get revealed through Izzy and what gets revealed through Ed, because things that seemed important to one of them are almost guaranteed to be incidental to the other.

Like a good example is how Izzy has this awe about him (even if he's in awe of an imagined version of Ed) that means that in any universe, he probably places greater weight on the first time he met Ed than Ed does. If you ask either of them what they remember about something they experienced together, Ed's recollection will zoom in on details that Izzy missed but ignore other things. But because it's a shared history, you could look the eyes of either one to explore it.

Because the options feel so endless, the parts of the Izzy POV that have remained fairly static are the ones where he's not directly thinking about Ed or the [redacted], [redacted], or [significantly longer redaction] in their past that would inform how he sees the scene he's narrating. His intro paragraph, initial reaction to Stede, and discomfort with the sense of freedom that always lingers in Stede's wake were super easy to pull together because it's all right there in canon. But in order to figure out anything else I've had to keep writing and rewriting certain things from his perspective or Ed's, bouncing back and forth until it feels right. Which makes the act of writing chapter 3 literally take longer of course, but also makes it harder to approach because it feels like a much bigger task.

Not to turn this into a general chapter 3 update but basically:

Stede's section (yes, only one!) is pretty much done beyond line edits.

See all of the above paragraphs for the Izzy of it all.

Ed takes me a long time, but most of another Ed section has been done since before I even posted the first chapter. A lot of the initial worldbuilding came out of that part, even! Ed also opens the chapter, and I've mostly got that part squared away too.

So basically all that remains is The Izzy Question and the final section, which I know the shape of and shouldn't have anything like the Izzy issues with. It feels like not a lot at all, but also like so, so much. Maybe you asking will give me the courage to share a couple paragraphs from his section though? I was actually poking at it this morning. Maybe getting something out there will settle some of these open questions for me and I can move on?

Thank you sooooo much, I could talk about this forever. If anyone else wants to, you are always welcome to send an ask about my fic if the mood strikes.

[monikafilefan]

20 Questions for Fanfic Writers

Tagged by @slippinmickeys <3

1. How many works do you have on A03?

75 (maybe one day I’ll reach 100?)

2. What’s your total A03 word count?

589,435

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Basically just txf fandom but I have dabbled in GoT, The Fall, and Sex Ed.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Five Years and a Lifetime

Only One Choice

All Eyes Lead to the Truth co-written

Together

Language of Love: Prompts of Angst and Romance

5. Do you respond to comments?

I absolutely do, just not every one of them. Unfortunately A03 counts author responses as comments and that bugs me, but I wholly appreciate any and all feedback!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh damn. Probably a chapter in my prompts collection called That Night in 2014 when Scully left, and one called Bone Deep set post Tithonus are angsty enough. I love writing angst, but prefer to leave my fic on less of a dreary note.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Ha it turns out I write a lot of fic with happier endings, but I guess Brother Bill ended very happily considering it was during the cancer arc. There’s plenty more I could’ve chosen though.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not that I know of.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what?

Yes, I mix it up. Lots of soft, sensual sex, but also some downright dirty smut too. Depends on the tone of the story.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I wrote one where Mulder and Scully go see Jean Milburn from Sex Education and have a therapy session. Coming Undone. It’s ridiculous and funny and was way too fun to write haha!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of but I hope not.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes but I can’t remember which one 🫣

13. Have you ever co-written before?

YES many times and I love it. I’ve written with several amazing writers @cultureisdarkbeer @admiralty-xfd @fridaysat9 @gaycrouton @slippinmickeys one several different fics.

14. What’s your all time fave ship?

MSR ofc! I do also love Jamie/Claire and Stella/Reed.

15. What WIP you want to finish?

I have this Unruhe fic that isn’t even that long but I cannot seem to fucking finish it for the life of me. I will eventually though.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Details? Creating a scene and capturing the characters as close to THEM as I possibly can comes easier to me than other things.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Probably dialogue and writing longer novel length fics.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I want to dive into the Outlander fandom very badly but I’m too scared to try Gaelic/accents and be happy with the outcome. Maybe one day.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

X-Files! I was just a wee 15yr old on my dialup desktop trying to write a post FTF fic on the original XF storyboards. I never did finish it past the second chapter.

20. Fave fics you’ve written?

I have a few I really love, but I am kind of hard on myself as a writer. I enjoy writing but can’t seem to reread my own stuff and come away beaming about it. The ones off the top of my head I’m proud and have not mentioned above of are A Life to Remember - an AU were Mulder and Scully are doctors and meet under interesting circumstances. Lots of UST, angst and family fluff as they flashback to their past on how they met.The Things They Say in the Dark is another one I love. It has angst, lots of hurt/comfort (not to mention Scully washing Mulder’s hair post Amor Fati) and serious yearning! Honestly love these two so feel free to check them out if you haven’t, I’d be blessed if you loved them too!

Tagging @today-in-fic and anyone else who wants to join in. This was fun!

[zyrafowe-sny]

curious, what's your favorite toh episode?

Thanks to Them, though I should note that I watched most of S2 and TTT all in the same week (only got into TOH in late summer 2022 and started out watching it at a more leisurely pace).

I looooved the montage. I related hard to depressed!Luz and appreciated the extra Luz and Camila backstory (I lost my dad as an adult in late October years ago, so the timing gave it some extra ooomph). I latched onto Camila - yes, she wasn't perfect, but she was trying and wanted to do better once she recognized her mistakes. "You're family now" gave me warm and fuzzy feelings and helped sell me on Hunter Noceda (though I am a sucker for Camila & Hunter too, and love love love the potential of Vee & Hunter). Hunter always made my heart hurt, but this episode was especially rough.

I rewatched the episode a few times, and felt inspired to write (creatively) for the first time in over a decade. I wound up posting over 21k in the last 2.5 months of 2022 - more than I've posted in all of 2023 so far (and my 2023 stats include the 6k of TOH fic I started writing in 2022 but posted in January and the fics I wrote for other fandoms).

I didn't hate FTF and WAD, but they didn't leave me nearly as creatively inspired and broke some things I imagined for post-canon (glyph magic still working, no magic of Flapjack, some Skara characterization, etc). I am generally not a fan of epilogue time skips, though I felt vindicated in my Hunter-should-work-with-the-Bat-Queen-and-Dell prediction.

Anyways, sorry about the essay, but TTT rewired my brain, as they say. :)

[jordie-gvf]

i don’t know if you’re still looking for questions but i have a bunch for you.

why did you decide to start posting your writing?

what’s the best thing to come from this account?

how often do you daydream fic ideas?

what writing is your favorite and least favorite post here?

who’s lane are you in now? who’s lane were you in when you became a fan?

what other blogs inspire your writing? blog recommendations for other great fics?

do you feel like your ideas just come together as you write? for me i tend to start writing with one idea in mind and it always spirals into more.

rank all 3 albums and give us your favorite song from each of them?

thoughts on always there?

are you a fan of the jullet? thoughts on jake’s new haircut? THOUGHTS ON DANNY DYING HIS HIGHLIGHTS AWAY?

-🐛

p.s i’m sorry if my last ask was uncalled for or came off wrong. i woke up with the worst hangover before i realized what i did, i’m actually embarrassed now that i’ve read what i said. i ate a whole edible for the first time and it went ….. it went.. yeah.

thank you for the questions! sorry i didnt answer sooner, family dinner!

at least once every week i would sent my friend a very detailed fic and they kept telling me to post full fics, so i did.

2. the love. this is such a warm community and i do feel very accepted here. i love my nonnies like they are my children, even if they are older than me.

3. at least once every day. i think about things that i like, i had an idea for a carnival date this week, i just dont know which boy!

4. my favorite is kodak camera by me! my least favorite is innocence, also by me. to me, it felt very rushed. i did not like the way it came out at all.

5. i am a danny girl! my first lane was jake!

6. my favorite fanfic blogs are @gretavanlace @mywaykiszka @streamingcolors-gvf @daisyful-gvf @pennylanefics @jakekiszkasleftnutsack @sparrowofthedawnsworld and thats just a few!

7. yes! the way i start writing a full blown fic, i have the idea in my head and i try to base my writing off of how i think each boy would handle the situation.

8. okay, ftf is first, then tbagg, then aotpa. flower power and a change is gonna come are my favorites from ftf. tears of rain, light my love, and the barbarians are my favorite from tbagg. age of man, anthem, and the new day are my favorite from aotpa.

9. always there is a song i play whenever i feel like crying in the shower.

10. i LOVE the jullet. jakes new hair reminds me of lord farquaad but im sure ill grow to love it. danny is a giant bitch for getting rid of the highlights.