#yes I am American

[smilefortae]

I love soccer boys.

[puzzled-pegasus]

There's something very oddly dystopian about stores that play their weird little advertisement in between songs while you're inside the store.

I'm already in the store!!! What more do you want from me?? You did it! I'm inside the place you want me to be!! Why do you continue to annoy me????

[katiedid-art]

I feel like I’m hanging on by a thread today so I drew myself a little friend to keep me company.

I am sharing my friend in case anyone needs a little kitty to help them feel better.

[vox-news]

Vox if your really over Alastor in the sense that you don’t care for him joining your team, why do you still wear red?

like you make yourself all blue not only your going to stand out more but people will associate you with good thing like the blue sky on earth or something.

(sorry if this long I just like the idea of all blue Vox, but he only wears red because of Alastor)

“I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but it fits—as Velvette would say—‘the vibe’. As well as making people focus more towards my head and torso, it leads to more attention.”

“Alastor, on the other hand, is partially colourblind to most reds, so he doesn’t even know he’s practically camouflaged into the city.”

“It’s nice to have some accents rather than going all out with one colour.”

[what-the-mell]

Are you really free... though?

*insert VSauce music heere*

🤨🤨🤨

exsqueeze me?

[not-available-for-comment]

If I seem to be on here a lot it’s because I’m going to the dentist for the first time since I went off my parents’ insurance at 21 and I am

s u f f e r i n g

[danipedrosas-boatest]

I’m not even gonna lie the potential of Andretti joining f1 makes me super excited. I’ve wanted them to join for so long and they’re so close and it’s like wjjejevehhehhrh

[whosafraid0fvirginiawoolf]

walking is genuinely such an underrated mode of transportation. what’s the rush? you do not need to race in your car to only go one mile. slow down. feel the ground beneath your feet, feel the wind in your hair. remember that you are a part of the world, you are not just passing through it.

[puzzled-pegasus]

Why is it that one box of mac and cheese that's supposed to have like 3 servings has only the perfect amount of mac and cheese to immediately shove all of it into my mouth hole.

If I want to have some later or share it I always have to make 2 boxes

Maybe it's cause i usually make it when I haven't eaten much else all day lmao

[rogue-storm]

I thought they shot fireworks out of a gun until I was like 8

[skinnyhyena]

Real question: why do WE have to file our taxes to find out the government owes us money, AND WHY do we have to PAY or go through several options to file our taxes for FREE.

Why is this country a scam. Why is being an adult just following along with a huge scam

[sydnycvwrtes]

I'm contemplating the design for a god-killing weapon and all I can think of is to give my magical MC with silver blood and death magic a Gun.

[memelibrarian10]

Every now and then I get an email stating that someone needs leave donations, which is where coworkers can donate their accrued vacation time for that person to use as sick time.

And you know, while I’m glad this system is in place to help people when needed, I wish it didn’t have to exist. Why can’t that person just be given the time they need instead of hoping enough time can be pooled for them?

[matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll]

A mine shaft full of cheeseburgers

i wonder what the word "Bürgschaft" conjures in the native english speakers mind

[purplecocobolo]

Hearing someone say an english loan word while speaking another language is so disorienting; it’s just like dibsogenodgkusphenk Email usgowivelsbm

[live-from-flaturn]

American Television after 5 years of pushing for queer representation: I hope you wanted unnecessary drama, angst with a maybe resolution, and three unfulfilling seasons of questionably written flirtation. And that all comes before anything is half-confirmed with a singular lukewarm kissing scene between two conventionally attractive, white bisexual women!

Thai Television .3 seconds after they figured out queer content is marketable: Did you want something kinky, soft, or stupid? Did you want cat ears? We’ve got cat ears! We’ve got safe/sane/consensual OR off-the-charts bad etiquette BDSM. We’ve got college students out the ass! As long as they’re an engineer or architect, choose your flavor. Do you want an age gap or classmates? Something for adults? Teens? Everyone was childhood besties, how about that??? This is a short order restaurant and I will flip you some gays like they’re hotcakes, just tell me what you want.