#yes I actually really liked him. I just think he's underdeveloped | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cityofmeliora · 8 months ago

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What do you think about Copia’s childhood? I saw your post about Terzo’s, so I started wondering. Where do you think he was raised, who do you think he was raised by, how did it contribute to who he is today?

YESSSSSS YES YES YES YES THIS IS THE ASK I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR RAAAAHHHH–

ok so first, i just wanna be clear that this post isn't gonna include anything about Cardi's twin because i'm still waiting to see what happens next in the lore before i try to write anything involving him.

with that out of the way,

like all my Ghost headcanons, my headcanons about Cardi are built on the foundation that the band Ghost lore is about 1) an evil satanic cult, and 2) a dysfunctional showbiz family from Los Angeles.

basically, i think Cardi had a very lonely childhood. and he has psychological issues caused by a lifetime of Sister Imperator's insane parenting. his anxiety in Rite Here Rite Now, about how being Papa is all he wants to do and all he thinks he could do, SCREAMS of "unethical Hollywood parent who molded her child to be a star" to me.

i do think Sister 'raised' him, or was at least present in his life since he was a child ("You'll always be my little Cardi.") and she just... didn't him she was his mom / Nihil was his dad. (i guess it's quite similar to children of catholic clergy IRL, who are sometimes raised by family but never told about their true parentage, or know the truth and are told to hide it.)

Cardi is autistic, obviously, but i also think his awkwardness is him being socially underdeveloped because he comes from an isolated cult environment. he was a weird satanic homeschool kid who almost never interacted with anyone outside the Ministry, and he was basically left to watch movies and listen to music and play video games all day. i like the idea that Cardi had dance training when he was young, though. that was probably the only time he really got to interact with others. and because he grew up in the Los Angeles area, on the occasions he did get to go out, he was always surrounded by the entertainment industry and people trying to rise to stardom.

anyway, i think this was all somewhat intentional, or at least worked in Sister Imperator's favor, to mold him into a neurotic showbiz baby in service of her evil satanic death cult. (though i don't think he cares about the cult aspect of Ghost at all. he's been in it his whole life because he didn't have a choice and has never known anything else. he really just wants to be a rock star.) growing up without the love of friends + family, Cardi filled that void with games / music / film. so... of course he wanted to be an entertainer when he grew up– that was his only avenue for human connection.

and i think Cardi kinda knew Sister Imperator was giving him special treatment and pulling strings to put him in position to become Papa, though he never understood why.

a major point in my Terzo character analysis post is that he was very ambitious and he loved being an entertainer and a showman, but he was frustrated because he wasn't allowed to express his full potential. i wrote that his mindset was "i know i'm good enough. and i could prove it if they would just let me."

and ever since i wrote that, i can't stop thinking about how Cardi feels the exact same way.

he's super talented. he's worked very hard. he's proud of his accomplishments. he's proven he's capable! but Sister Imperator doesn't respect him. she infantilizes him. she keeps the training wheels on. she doesn't want him to be capable!

Sister Imperator does not allow Cardi to have independent thoughts or make real decisions for himself. she allows him the illusion of autonomy when she needs to, but every time he shows a little bit of awareness of how fucked up his life actually is, she shuts him down to keep him under control. she purposefully hides information from him so he won't know anything she doesn't want him to know. she intrudes on his privacy because his bedroom doesn't have a door.

i think their relationship has been like this his whole life.

you can see examples of this manipulation / obfuscation throughout the Chapters, and you can see a lot of it in Rite Here Rite Now.

first off, the opening narration gives the context / background information that sometime in late 2021, when Cardi was 51 years old, he found out his two bosses are actually his parents, and his mother kept this a secret from both him and his father his whole life. which is. wild. to say the least.

(i think when he found out, he was disappointed by the realization that he got to where he is because he was secretly a nepo baby and not because he was doing a good job on his own.)

moving on. in Rite Here Rite Now, Cardi's main source of stress was that he fully believed his parents were going to murder him and then put his body on display to sell VIP tickets for his successor's concerts. this was genuine fear, and he had a legitimate reason to believe they would do that to him because they actually did that to his three older brothers! and in the later Chapters, Sister Imperator and Mr. Psaltarian were totally fucking with his head and making him think he was going to die!

he asks Sister why he can't continue being Papa for longer –because he doesn't want his parents to kill him when they're done with him– and she just brushes him off and tells him to keep playing his show. then in the Miasma scene, Cardi has a critical moment of awareness and asks what the hell is actually going on in his life and who's in control.

PAPA EMERITUS IV: One thing I do not understand… All these things… here, all of this stuff, and all of these things we're doing, where we go, and when, and to where… Who decides these things? I mean, who's calling the shots?

this is totally fair! he has a right to know this information!

in response, his parents completely avoid answering the question. they shut him down and basically tell him he sounds ungrateful for the life he has.

SISTER IMPERATOR: You waste so much time and energy worrying about what's been and what's next, who's next and whatnot. As with all things in life, it circulates. Everything that has a beginning has an ending. There just has to be an orderly transition.

she never tells him the truth. she just tells him to stop worrying. stop thinking.

they never tell him they're not going to kill him. They Never Tell Him They're Not Going To Kill Him. THEY NEVER TELL HIM THEY'RE NOT GOING TO KILL HIM.

Cardi spends the last third of the movie making peace with the idea that he is going to die soon and his parents will be the ones to kill him. after Respite On The Spitalfields, he seems resigned to his fate. he tells the Nameless Ghouls they're not doing an encore. he says "Fuck it." but Sister Imperator, still explaining nothing, tells him to do the encore and he unenthusiastically gets back on stage.

SISTER IMPERATOR: Even though you don't understand right now, sooner or later, you will know what I'm talking about. Things –events– are unavoidable. Now you go back out there and give them one hell of an encore. And that's all you have to worry about. PAPA EMERITUS IV: Okay. SISTER IMPERATOR: Off you go.

by the beginning of Square Hammer, he decides he is actually happy with the life he has and he's okay with whatever's coming. and he still expects he's going to die... only for them to totally fake him out.

Sister Imperator dies instead. in the letter she leaves him, she tells him, "My son, I'm sorry I could not find it in my heart to tell you about my condition. I was afraid you might lose your sometimes frail concentration." more obfuscation. more infantilization.

at the end of the letter, she promotes him to head of the Clergy. he takes on his new job assignment as Frater Imperator and he seems to think he'll have more power now that Sister Imperator is "not in charge anymore." i'm not so sure about that.

and this isn't even getting into all the other weird shit going on between them in that movie! why was Cardi literally unable to see her wheelchair and medicine until the Spoksonat scene? why couldn't he remember his twin brother who he spent time with as a child? either Cardi is even more mentally unwell than we know, or Sister is messing with his head in even more ways than we know. maybe both. probably both.

i do believe Sister Imperator loves Cardi. that does not negate the fact that she is also manipulative and dishonest and has no respect for him, and that made her a terrible parent. she caused him a lifetime of unnecessary confusion and suffering in furtherance of her goals. yes, he is often childish and irresponsible. but i think the way she treated him didn't allow him to mature on his own.

the worst part about all this? i think he's convinced himself that he loves her, too. (he doesn't actually know how to feel about her. it would be too painful to think about.)

in summary, to me, Cardi's life is like The Truman Show, except it's the bad ending where the producer (Sister Imperator) successfully convinces him to stay in the bubble.

this was supposed to be a headcanons post and it totally turned into an analysis post, but i cannot help it. i just love Cardi so fucking much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I JUST WANT CARDI TO BE SAFE AND HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

btw i think his actual legal given name is Cardinal Copia Imperator. yeah. i believe Sister Imperator actually named him that.

#sorry this is so fucking long. i will probably make bits and pieces of this into separate posts #cardinal copia #papa emeritus iv #frater imperator #sister imperator #cardi #radley post #rite here rite now #the band ghost lore #headcanon #analysis

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seyaryminamoto · 5 months ago

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Any thought on Toph's writing and "arc" in ATLA? I personally think Toph was the most stunted and underdeveloped character. She never really develops at all and is mostly just a walking joke. It's clear that the writers loved her but also clear that they never did anything with her.

If you mean stunted and underdeveloped character in the main cast, definitely yes. A lot of minor characters were done a disservice by the show, given next to no complexity, so I wouldn't rank her as #1 altogether, but among the main cast, absolutely.

Now, I wouldn't say she had zero growth, it's just... not an arc. I also don't think she was only a joke, though they used her for comedy a lot. It's part of why it weirds me out when the fandom acts like Sokka, and only Sokka, was comic relief in ATLA. Toph, Aang, Iroh, even Zuko whenever the narrative wanted to poke fun at him, provided comic relief often, so it's kind of stupid to pretend it was only ever Sokka.

... But that ridiculous perception, then, caused the not-so-funny LOK phenomenon of "Bolin is the funny one", where basically all comedy was meant to be about/around this one character, which didn't work nearly as well as they expected it to, and did nothing for the team's synergy and bonding, but I digress...

What do I think about Toph's story and journey in ATLA?

Toph starts out as a girl who wants nothing more than to be independent and for people to stop underestimating her. When we consider that, in her final action scene in the show, she's clinging by her fingertips to someone else, and that her survival and life depend expressly on HIM, it suggests that she's learned that she doesn't have to go at everything alone, and also that she doesn't have all the answers to all situations. The first time we met her, it doesn't really feel like she wants to work alongside other people, as shown in her conflict with Katara in The Chase, where Toph felt absolutely no need to chip in and help out with anything but her personal needs.

I will say, in Toph's defense about that last thing, it's perfectly common for a child who has spent most her life being cared for, not having anyone expect a single thing out of her, to not understand why she needs to contribute ANYTHING to the team. It doesn't hurt that she's new, which implies that the others have been setting up camp, finding food, traveling across the world, without needing an earthbender's contributions. So it's fairly easy to see her side in this: why does she need to help at all? Why can't they handle things on their own when they always did?

But in her chance encounter with Iroh, Toph is given a chance to think on things and ponder that there's nothing wrong with relying on others. It's so effective that this scene concludes with Toph telling Iroh that maybe he should tell Zuko that he needs him too. This might even be one of Toph's strongest moments in the entire show, honestly. She has no idea who she's talking about, has never met Zuko or Iroh before, but what she tells Iroh doesn't sound like it comes only from having determined that IROH needs Zuko: it sounds like self-reflection, based on Toph realizing that maybe she can open up to needing her friends, too, and working alongside them isn't such a bad thing.

I think this is decent writing. Really!

The issue is... this is about as good as it gets with Toph.

I really like her character, she has a lot of good jokes, some interesting moments of vulnerability here and there, but this scene with Iroh is the only instance of the show I can think back on that actually features Toph questioning her strict ideas and reasoning with them, choosing a different path and abandoning something else she wasn't ready to forsake (complete and utter independence). What's more, this isn't even the kind of growth where Toph has COMPLETELY abandoned her individualistic mentality: she's adjusted it. She allows herself to consider she could be part of a team, to have friends, to work with others, but that doesn't mean she's tied down to them. It never stops feeling like Toph is more than ready to do things on her terms, in her own ways. No matter how much she bonds with the others, she will rely on them exclusively when she needs them (see how she clings to others when she has little to no visibility), or when they need her in combat and such, but outside of such spaces? It's unlikely that Toph will be the type of person who feels the need to be accompanied all the time, who feels better if someone is constantly watching over her. Her friends allow her to find some kind of balance between her need for independence and the comfort of having allies and friends to connect to... but that doesn't mean that she'll never break off on her own when the urge hits her, when the big battles are settled, when problems are resolved.

And I'm the last person to think Yang, of ALL PEOPLE, has any solid understanding of these characters, but whether it was his idea or Bryke's to feature Toph as a teacher, and to have the Gaang drop by to pick her up during The Promise? Ultimately, this just proves she doesn't feel the need to be with Aang, Sokka and Katara non-stop. If even someone like Yang thought she'd go do her own thing (... the quality of what he wrote is, of course, forever in question), down to even leaving her out of The Search entirely? It's clear that they're not trying to promote the idea that Toph is forever clinging to her friends now. She's still independent.

But like I said earlier... this balance Toph finds between her friends and her freedom isn't the product of multiple episodes and lots of hard work and bumping into obstacles to achieve. This... is literally just Toph's second episode. That's the last time the show actually challenged Toph on a PERSONAL level that doesn't involve "becoming a more powerful bender".

Take her relationship with her parents, for instance: the fandom is convinced they were abusive as fuck and that Toph would hate them forever. Ironically, the show DOESN'T promote this notion at all (which makes The Rift kind of insane when compared to the show's treatment of Toph's parents), for it features her parents as two idiots who underestimate Toph immensely and who simply want her to come home and stay out of danger. This could be deemed as abusive in some people's minds, as usual the word needs to be taken more seriously nowadays... they're not good parents, there's no denying that. They don't understand their daughter, outright. They allow their preconceptions of her disability to determine who they think their daughter is. There's nothing in the show that suggests otherwise.

So why, exactly, is it that every instance where Toph considers communicating with her parents or meeting them, she seems to be perfectly content with doing it?

Xin Fu's trap for Toph was completely cemented on the notion that Poppy Beifong had come to visit Ba Sing Se and that she finally accepted her daughter for who she was. Toph's reaction isn't some kind of jaded dismissal because there's noooo way her mom would ever accept her... she outright goes to see her. Which allows Xin Fu to trap her. Which then results in Toph discovering she can metalbend. But the thread that started this whole plotline? It... goes nowhere. Of course, Toph's parents AREN'T there, there's no real reason to assume they've changed, and this was just a trap... but we get no reaction from Toph when it comes to this. We see no conflict. She simply embraces her new abilities and runs back to Ba Sing Se. A quick glance through the transcript shows zero focus or interest in what she went through. Hell, there's not even any acknowledgement that she learned to metalbend. It's all about Aang's struggles with the Avatar State and Katara being in danger.

Next time? The Runaway. A very frustrating and annoying episode. What happens here? Katara decides to dig into Toph's old wounds regarding her parents, tries to psychoanalyze her and decides that all of Toph's rebelliousness against authority boil down to having a bad relationship with her parents. Which... maybe it's true? Doesn't really justify Katara trying to act like her mother anyway? And then the episode ends with Toph asking Katara to help her send a letter to her parents, which sounds like Toph has made her peace with them and like she's ready to accept that she would like them in her life too, and that she wants them to accept who she is. Yay.

... The issue here is there's no follow-up. This doesn't feel like development because nothing comes from it. Nothing really changed. It doesn't come from organic writing either: it comes from Katara's forced "mother friend" role that she didn't use to hold at all (as I said in the ask about why I think Katara loses her appeal as a character the deeper we go into ATLA), and it never actually confronts Toph with her parents again. It doesn't feature a deeper reflection from Toph regarding why she feels the way she does about her parents, nor does it feature Katara realizing that Toph's parents actually did fuck up a LOT with her and that she has every right to push back against them. It merely makes Katara calm down because she realizes the others care about her (while eavesdropping, ofc) and are ready to accept her for who she is... even though she, too, merits a LOT of reflection regarding this mom friend role and nobody else should be comfortable with that, let alone her :'D

Point being, the show really just holds this as the only thing about Toph that wasn't actually resolved, but it acts like it's fine because Toph sent a letter. What growth did we see in Toph that actually means this letter makes all the difference, though? We have no idea how it affected her parents -- as much as Yang acts like it didn't affect them at all, it could have made them rethink some things, or it could have made them mount an even more desperate search for their child, who knows? And it's a pretty solid thread to pull at, to tug loose, to TRULY challenge Toph's character... aaaaaaand they just don't do it at all.

The way I see it, that's really what it boils down to. The show doesn't challenge Toph in any significant way after her... second episode. This isn't the case for most main characters, and I'm not even asking for Toph's story to feature an intense, horrible, super harrowing and difficult plot...! Just, make some things complicated for her. Show her frustrations, show her difficulty to grasp things she hasn't experienced before. Confront her with realities that she, a sheltered girl from a pretty well-off city, has never really needed to face before. Her attitude towards Ba Sing Se is never questioned or challenged narratively: she's constantly proven right about the city being fucked up, and about her reads on all high society people. While all this makes Toph feel smart to a viewer, the issue really comes where this character basically only has her admittedly sizable charisma to win us over. She succeeds! But what does this show give her to work with besides a very quick "I don't wanna work in a team-I learned to work in a team" conflict that is resolved even faster than Sokka's sexism, which pretty much died out within 4 episodes?

There's definitely a component here were Toph is successful not only because of her personality, her abilities, her strength... but also because of the message she conveys regarding disabilities. A LOT of disabled people have clung to Toph as an example and inspiration to not allow whatever ails them to define them or hold them back. Whether the comparison between a blind girl with magical powers and a disabled person of our world without them is valid or not? The effect Toph has had on a lot of viewers who related to her struggles is undeniable. In a sense, it almost feels like the fandom's worship of Toph suggests that in not giving her further challenges on a personal level, they actually hit some kind of jackpot as far as social messages are concerned... but once you actually scope in and pay proper attention to her character, you might find she's got so much more potential that went ignored by this story in favor of presenting her as this unquestionably strong girl who relies on others when she really needs to but otherwise is independent and free from all of society's restraints on her.

Personally, I know this to be the case because of the pushback and reactions my version of Toph in Gladiator initially resulted in. She had no reason to think anything of Sokka and damn near killed him when they first clashed in the Gladiator League... and this horrified a LOT of people! They couldn't BELIEVE Toph could be like this! An older Toph, 7 years older to be precise, who broke free from her parents' hold, struck a bargain with her would-be-captor to get him MORE money than he'd find if he turned her in, and who wanted nothing but to measure her strength against other powerful fighters. If she doesn't have Aang's group's influence on her as early on as when she's 12-years-old, is it REALLY that crazy for Toph's problems with her parents and authority to fester, for her craving for independence to reach new heights, for her readiness to prove herself stronger than anyone to actually be a hazard for other people who stand in her way?

Thus... a lot of the work I've done with this character has been deconstructing these flaws, building her into someone who understands herself better. It's in learning from the examples Sokka and Azula set for her that she starts to realize what kind of person, what kind of LEADER she wants to be. One of my favorite scenes to write about Toph is when she's setting her city free from Fire Nation control, extending her earthbending reach all across Gaoling, putting a stop to the FN army while focusing on creation rather than destruction. On building up her people, on leading her forces with the power of her seismic sense, on capturing the enemy leader, all of it without razing her home city to the ground. Early Gladiator Toph? She wouldn't have cared one bit to join the war to begin with, and if someone had told her that her city, the place she associated with rules, limitations and restraints would be razed to the ground? She might have even encouraged it. Yes, a part of her would have felt guilt over her parents... but she would have been so emotionally stunted that she would have forced herself to ignore any part of her that still cared about them.

And worth noting? One of the biggest personal issues Toph faced was actually nearly killing Azula and Sokka because of her absolute determination to win against them during an event. They were already friends, but they were also each other's biggest rivals in the League... neither side holds back when it comes to this particular competition, and Azula and Sokka had actually beaten Toph and Iroh on their previous encounter! Which meant Toph's desperation for victory was driving her a bit crazy. But once Toph takes it too far at one point, she freaks out. It triggers guilt that actually jumpstarts a much deeper and more complicated arc than anything she'd been through before. Her determination to win at all costs, her pride over her lifelong winning streak within the League... she's suddenly facing the possibility that all this shit she used to cling to, so damn hard, means NOTHING when she could lose two of the people she cares most about if she continues to privilege all that stuff over their wellbeing and safety.

And this doesn't mean that she didn't like fighting as a Gladiator anymore... it means she really came to terms with the fact that other things mattered more. Later on? She realized there are BIGGER fights out there, too, than what's going on in the League: she was the last line of defense against a brutal attack by a rogue waterbender who killed a lot of people and could have killed many more... and after the fact, she spends quite some time worrying about what could have happened if she had failed to protect everyone, if her strength had faltered when she needed it most.

Yes, touting my own horn a lot... but everything I've typed about my own story is exactly why it can even piss me off, at times, to see Toph's potential as a character squandered to the extent it is in canon. I've done so much more with her than they ever did, and granted it's a huge story, but Toph ISN'T the main focus on it and I still managed to give her more to work with than canon ever did. It makes no sense, does it?

I don't think she was given the respect she deserved, and partly, I feel this happened with a lot of female characters who straight-up don't have arcs at all. There's this latent fear that in questioning a character, showing they're flawed, they could become unlikeable... ironic how this is seldom a concern over male characters, but it is with female ones. And mind you: it DOES happen to male characters, because Aang himself is the most egregious example of a male character showcasing flaws and people spiraling over them, turning them into something they never were, all be it to pretend SOMEONE ELSE (*cough* Zuko *cough*) is that much better than him. But they WEREN'T scared of writing Aang into complicated situations that showcased his flaws and resulted in his growth, though. They are with Katara, Toph, Suki, Mai, Ty Lee... :') wonder why, huh?

Ultimately, Toph is a much better character, boiled down to basics, than many characters I tend to talk about and criticize openly. The issue with Toph, for me, isn't really that she fails as a character, or conveys wrong messages, or that the narrative is biased in her favor (though sometimes it is...).

The problem with Toph is she has no chances to truly grow into her own. That her biggest growth comes from a singular conversation with Iroh in episode 2x08 is incredibly unfair to a character who can provide SO MUCH if you simply give her a chance and let her be... human. Flawed. Complex. There's so much more that can be done with her, and if given a chance? She really could have been the best character of the entire show. Too bad they didn't have the guts to let that happen.

#zuko-always-lies #I may take longer to answer the other one because time #but I figured I'd drop this one right away :'D #I wonder if this is gonna ruffle feathers #for whatever wild reason even though I really like Toph #she's the character whose fans have consistently been most dickish at me #I'd say I don't know why but nah I do know #at least #a particular subset of Toph fans :')#who happen to be the ones who have been a pain #not all of em #but enough of em #regardless of their whining I still believe Toph deserves more

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bayetea · 3 months ago

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your takes on stuff about pjo/hoo are so validating... it's so hard being a woman enjoyer in this fandom sometimes. i get that we love the main character of the first series but some people act like percy is a little baby who can do no wrong and anyone who breathes on him weirdly deserves the death penalty.

anyways i love what you do with hazel. hippocrene is so good, and i know you said you won't delve into the womens' povs, but i am ITCHING to see inside hazel's head especially after the last chapter!!! can't wait to see how that eventual conversation shakes out.

i just love hazel, and i wish more people actually LOVED her instead of passively liking her. so thank you for loving her as much as you do

yeah fandom has been intensely patriarchal for forever and it sucks to see, and it's very bad in the pjo fandom especially :/ we have so many great female characters but they don't actually seem to garner a ton of real interest, particularly outside of how they relate to male characters (I do place some blame for this on rick tho; pjo desperately needed to have more fleshed out dynamics between female characters and hoo was the best time to do it with its implementation of female perspectives, but rick just... didn't really do that. one can only blame rick so much tho because people latch onto underdeveloped male characters and m/m dynamics all the time). hazel in particular has (imo) the craziest and most fascinating backstory in the entire franchise and yet she seems to barely get acknowledged beyond her relation to nico? which is just crazy to me but yk. people like what they like and there's nothing to be done about that

as for percy specifically I mean, I love him forever (I think I'm clearly biased, he's a main character in like every fic I write lol) but I just feel so uninterested in the way that people often talk about him? like yeah he's a badass and yes he's super powerful and intimidating and attractive I guess but those are like the least interesting things about him (imo). I certainly don't care for the whole "this character can do no wrong/has never done anything wrong" attitude either because what's the point? why soften their edges? why are we infantilizing them? I swear people have this kneejerk reaction to dismiss any "poor" behaviors on percy's behalf as him being ooc (I see this talking point irt percy in hoo especially) and it's like... maybe you're right, or maybe percy just isn't a perfectly perfect nice boy 100% of the time? it's like people grasp that characters should be flawed but don't want to acknowledge those flaws when there's a chance that they might come off as unlikable. imo if you've read the entirety of pjo and weren't questioning/critical of some of percy's thoughts/actions/behaviors at least once then I don't think you were paying attention.... (or you just haven't read the books in a hot minute). he's also just not a perfectly written character regardless but that's a post for another day (that's not saying much tho, because no pjo character is "flawlessly" written)

one of the reasons why I've latched onto the percy/frank/hazel dynamic so much (beyond my deep love for all three of them individually) is because they're characters who really get to see percy at his weakest moments (outside of a romantic context, aka with annabeth who has certainly seen him at his lowest). I keep seeing people highlight how impressive he was to frank and hazel (which is completely true, I'm not saying that that's an incorrect take) but he also broke down in front of them multiple times because losing his memories really put him through the wringer. he was SO profoundly unhappy throughout son which is another reason why it's one of the better books in the franchise. even the shift from first person to third person offers something new to observe in the percy jackson character

anyways this was a long answer and wasn't all totally related to your ask lol, but it's nice to talk about these things with like-minded people! re: hazel in hippocrene, I'm having fun writing about frazel from frank's perspective especially as an opportunity to observe hazel - because he doesn't know what exactly goes on in her head either, and his attempts to understand her better (even after dating for so long) will be an important conflict in the story. hazel is such a mysterious girl imo, like there's just so much going on with her that I don't think she really understands herself either

#also I like writing from male povs for het ships because I get to gush about women nonstop lmao #rr crit #tagging rr crit because I can't talk about pjo for two seconds without being critical of rick lol #please stay hippocrene #hazel levesque #percy jackson #frank zhang #baye.txt #frazel #pjo hoo toa #pjo fandom crit

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elainsgirl · 9 days ago

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My biggest gripe about SJM is how she’ll write these interesting dynamics between her characters but decides to never expand upon it. For instance, Nesta/Elain/Feyre’s relationship is one of the most interesting aspects of ACOTAR and yet their relationship is criminally underdeveloped which is why I think the sisters receive so much hate from the fandom.

But anyway, in elain’s book I want SJM to not only delve deeper into her relationship with her sisters but also Azriel’s relationship with Mor and Cassian. Mor/Cassian/Azriel dynamic is one of the messiest dynamics in the series.

It’s clear that they all love each other but they have hurt each other so much (which never gets talked about). Their relationship is so nuanced.

Mor and Cassian slept together knowing that Azriel was in love with her. It was a sucky thing for them to do. But then again, Mor was young, scared, and desperately wanted out of a marriage forced upon her by her abusive family. She knew that if she wasn’t a virgin she wouldn’t be forced to marry a man that she was terrified of. She only ever trusted Cassian, Azriel, and Rhys. She couldn’t go to Azriel (because she knew it would mean more to him) and she definitely couldn’t go to Rhys (for obvious reasons), so that only left Cassian. Cassian was also young, severely abused and mistreated by everyone around him (excluding the IC). He loved Mor and he knew that she didn’t want to marry Eris - and the only way out was if Mor wasn’t a virgin. They didn’t have sex because they were lusty teens who didn’t care about Azriel but because they were scared teens making rash decisions because all the adults around them sucked.

That being said, Mor and Cassian’s hook up severely hurt Azriel. Even centuries later, it’s a sore subject for him - made even worse because Mor and Cassian continued to flirt and banter. I do think that Cassian genuinely had romantic feelings for Mor. He’s not stupid or blind. He knew that flirting with Mor (no matter how innocent it may appear) hurt Azriel but he choose to do it anyway - and I think the only reason he did it was because he felt something for Mor. Before Nesta, Cassian would’ve 100% gotten with Mor if Mor was actually serious or Azriel didnt exist.

Azriel isn’t dumb either. He’s not some love-stricken boy who pined away for five centuries with no clue that Mor didn’t love him in that way. Logically, he probably knew that she would never be with him. I think that yes, he had romantic feelings for Mor. Before elain, he 100% would’ve gotten with Mor if she was willing.

But really I think Mor was a safety net for both Azriel and Cassian. It’s stated that they had numerous flings that never amounted to anything. Mor was the only woman (outside of Amren - but in no universe would she ever hookup with Azriel or Cassian) that really stood by Cassian and Azriel through thick and thin. She knew all their flaws and still loved them - just not romantically. I think Cassian and Azriel both craved someone to see them (flaws and all) and still love them - and Mor did (just not romantically) which is why they kinda just latched onto her.

Mor knowingly used both Cassian and Azriel as shields. In ACOWAR when she spoke about her liking women to feyre, she wasn’t outwardly ashamed. But I think it took her a long time to come to terms with herself, especially considering how she grew up and even now she still sees her abusive family on a regular basis.

She loves Cassian and Azriel so much - it wouldn’t surprise me if she was afraid that if they found out they would look or treat her differently. She likes being there for them. She likes when they confide in her. And truthfully, she might’ve been afraid that if Cassian and Azriel decide to seriously pursue someone romantically she would lose meaning in their life. For five hundred years, Cassian and Azriel prioritized Mor above every other woman in their life. For a woman who’s been mistreated by her father and family her entire life, having two men (along with Rhys and Amren) who look at her with love, respect, and affection would be her second chance at a family. I think one of Mor’s biggest fears instilled by her father is if Azriel and Cassian weren’t sexually attracted to her, they would no longer need her.

It’s going to be interesting to see how Mor reacts to Elain/Azriel and how her reaction differs from Cassian/Nesta. I think she’ll be afraid of Azriel replacing her, but I don’t think she’ll be outwardly mean like she was to Nesta. Elain isn’t openly hostile nor is she confrontational. Mor doesn’t want Azriel romantically - and she doesn’t want Azriel to want her romantically either. She wants him to be happy - she just wants to remain family.

Mor/Cassian/Azriel’s dynamic is super messy but I just love them all. They’re not awful. They all love each other but they’re so dysfunctional about it.

Yep Sjm has so many complex dynamics she could explore but she doesn’t beyond surface level which sucks because if she hd explored these dyanmics her characters would have more depth.

They love each other but ig in 500 years you are bound to mess up with each other once or twice. I have no doubt Mor, Cass and Az would willingly lay down their lives for each other despite how messy their history was. They’re still considered family.

when I read wings and Ember, and Cass talks about this scene 1) yes anon, I agree w you so much, Mor was young and frightened and didnt know how else to break this marriage. I feel like her going to Az would hVe been 10x worse for him as it would have been meaningful for him due to his crush and ofc…Rhys isnt on the table. Its just Cass so her going to him does make a lot of sense 2) I actually dont think Cass wanted Mor. The way he spoke about it in the bonus - he was jealous that Mor was getting Azriels attention…I honestly think Cass was in love or had feelings for Azriel if not romantic then pretty strong platonic ones and it was out of this jealousy he went too Mor. There was no trustable adults to guide them so they did the same stupid mistake some unguided person would do. I definitely agree that maybe Cass fell for Mor and if Nesta wasn’t in the picture those two would end up together.

as for Azriel, I think your interpretation is spot on, he wanted to someone that accepted him and Mor wS that person. I dont think he was ever madly in love with Mor, it was just an unrequited crush. I think he used her as a reason to remain unavailable to everyone else that would want him. I also think he would hVe eventually been with Mor if there was no Elain. And yh, Velaris and the IC might accept Mor coming out but she was raised in a very close minded, sheltered place. It would definitely be hard for her to come to terms with her preferences- I agree that Mor was using Az and Cass as her shields and to keep up the pretense she liked Men.

I do personally see Mor as someone with deep rooted insecurities. I think she likes being wanted and needed on her own terms, It must make her feel special that she means something to 2 bat boys that want her. I think in her own she is possesive, non-romantically, of Az and Cassian. She didnt react too positively towards Nessian as for Elriel, I think her and az will have a conversation and this will lead him to defy Rhys and go for Elain. Mor played a huge part on Azriels self worth. I think, he needs to hear it from her that he is worth it and has every right to be with who he wants. Mor and Az will definitely have a conversation in his book and that will be the conclusion for both of them, a way to let go of their past and move on.

dysfunctional relationships are interesting and Mass has a great opportunity to explore Mor/Cass/Azriel w Azriels pov + in a Mor novella if she ever gets one.

#inner circle #mor acotar #cassian acotar #azriel acotar #azriel shadowsinger #rhysand #rhysand acotar #elain archeron

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trashyrosie · 9 months ago

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Leona, talking about the fountain as he gives a tour: So, he built it when his son was born-

Yuu: So, he built what is essentially a pretty thing to look at, but he couldn't have used that money towards better things? Like putting an effort into rebuilding the slums?

Grim: Henchhuman-

Vil: Could you be any blunter, potato?

Yuu, crosses arms: What? Oh and this whole "being one with nature" thing and allowing some of the natural resources to go untapped-

Kifaji: It's because we don't want to drain the land of what they have given us-

Yuu: No one said you were draining it. Just think of a more eco-friendly way of handling things. Leona said you guys have the greatest concentration of sunlight, right? Turn that into solar energy. Convert some of the heavy smog machines into ones that run on solar.

Lilia, hums: She might have a point...

Kalim: Wow, Yuu! You're so smart!

Yuu: Thanks. On top of that, it'll create jobs for people, especially those who work in high poverty areas. You guys can still be surrounded by nature without having to sacrifice nature for it. *Sighs* I'm done, sorry for ra-

Leona: Marry me.

Yuu: You get Grim in the process if I do.

Leona: Deal.

Kifaji: My Prince!

#twisted wonderland#twst yuu#yuu homura#lilia vanrouge#twst grim#vil schoenheit#twst kifaji#kalim al asim#leona kingscholar#cloudcalling on the savanna

No but like as an economics student AND a Leona stan hearing about the way they're handling their economy in the Sunset Savanna ... was sure..... Shocking to say the least

I hope I’m not being to forward but your comment has me thinking, as an economics student how do you think they could improve their situation, what policies can they implement, I would love to hear your ideas💡please

...fam. I'm about to yammer. Also this is my favorite question ever

As an economics student and mind you I might come off as abit harsh or even cold but I want to keep things factual. I don't think the game itself even recognizes what a big of a deal it is to purposely not develop the infrastructure. Underdeveloped infrastructure is one of the things that we take in consideration wHEN MEASURING POVERTY. This is what threw me off, in a way it sounded like they were INSISTING on having poverty related issues. AND WE KNOW THE SUNSET SAVANNA HAS PEOPLE LIVING IN POVERTY. The slumps being the biggest proof.

Leona's ideas ARE actually great solutions, he's completely right in my opinion. I just I think a lot of people don't exactly understand what he means when he talks about industrialization.. And I don't blame them. I too thought industrialization is just big factories go brr pollution and that's what the game seems to be sitting up but... I'm about to "um actually 🤓☝"

So, why is industrialization the solution (that AND developing the infrastructure bECAUSE OH MY GOD people don't have basic needs like water in 2024 ..??? I don't even feel the NEED to explain why that's bad at this point oh also the renewable energy idea is just PERFECT chief kiss) .. Now industrialization doesn't mean 100% destroying the environment.. Does it have a bad effect on the environment.. Yes but it doesn't means absolute destruction of the environment especially in this case..

Think about it...if the products they should be producing depend on natural resources as their input..would they really go, is Leona really presenting that they should go and absolutely DESTROY the sources of their inputs.?, even looking at it from a greedy economical perspective it makes no sense. Also industrialization provides ✨job opportunities✨ and this is very important. Job opportunities and providing the people with income "moves" the economy and improves people's living conditions, people now can afford education and health (which we know the people of the slumps have next to no access to, Ruggie's mom died while giving birth to him and it was mentioned there's a lot of crying kids in the slumps that means women in the slumps don't have access to good healthcare for giving birth a common thing found in countries suffering from whaaat? Poverty.) Providing people with an income improves their living condition (no sh*t) and the best way to provide them with that is by providing them with jobes and yOU DO THAT THROUGH INDUSTRIALIZATION (also side not here, governments can GIVE their citizens "monthly allowances or icomes" these amounts are usually small but better than nothing .. My country is doing this as of now and it's for this exact same thing "moving the economy" aka the people selling, buying, getting married reproducing... Basically living)

Another solution I really like is tourism.. Which Leona mentioned.. twice. .. I think? Okay so they don't want to mass produce? Okie dokie. Then lean heavy into the cool epic greenery you got. A lot of countries irl do that actually and it would also provides the people with the needed jobs (I'll never stop shouting about the importance of income and job opportunities)

but this time in the tourism industry.. and the sunset Savanna really can make banks out of this that place is gorgeous and they should use their beliefs and pride in what they've got as a force to move forward not being all like "the circle of life😍"... As a justification for Underdevelopemt. I really adore the tourism solution like personally like it. I actually I'm an average environment enjoyer myself and I don't think we should destroy nature.... But mothers are dying in the slumps and children are getting no food... And we don't even NEED to destroy nature... We simply need to IMPROVE the way the economy is going NOT DESTROY IT AND CHANGE IT.. Just modernize it a bit.. A region in my country is actually doing this. Leaning heavily into the old castles and mud houses we got (we old as heck) modernizing things a bit to make it tourists friendly while also keeping our history (that I love) intact and BOOM tourists destination and more jobs for the people

in conclusion, I love this ask so much thank you so much so much so much for asking.. my field of study + my favorite lion boy. I'm on cloud nine.. Hands down made my night..i think I gave three solutions.. I'm very sorry if I didn't go in more depths or if this isn't what you wanted I'll clearly be more than happy to answer more stuff about this because I'm a giant nerd. Also I should rule the sunset Savanna. Thank you.

#twisted wonderland #leona kingscholar #disney twst #twst wonderland #ruggie bucchi #sunset savanna

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bibibbon · 9 months ago

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The Lov deserved better endings

Yeah they did.

I personally think the leauge of villains deserved better arcs in general because realistically if we tried to redeem them with how the war arc played out how would society react? Also how would the leauge themselves react? It's all complicated jumbo and in the end ITS HORI WHO WROTE THEM THAT WAY

like yes they could of been redeemed if hori wrote them to be saved but he didnt. Iam still incredibly pissed at how underdeveloped shigaraki is and his whole goal of being to destroy and not actually developing into "I want to destroy the HPSC/the corrupt society that has caused me and the leauge pain" still pisses me off.

Look I know this is an unpopular opinion but I don't mind someone from the leauge not being able to get saved and dies (but at least make the death well written hori come on man). Personally Iam a sucker for toga dying simply because of the way I have come to associate her character with red spider lilies, blood, cannibalism and pomegranates. Also it just adds to the tragedy of her character which is something I love when it comes to her writing.

On the other hand while I do think depending on the characters arc and actions some (and I mean also hero characters) should face concequences for some of their actions or attone for them. I think that twice, spinner and mustard were pretty redeemable characters.

Shigaraki and Dabi should of been written to be much more complex overall (well this mainly applies to shigaraki, Dabi just got his backstory retconned to make enji look good) and have hints of a redemption or something that still says they have good in them. Like Iam still pissed that we didn't get much of Shigaraki consistency in general and when it comes to Dabi I would of enjoyed hori to give us Dabi in all of his complexity and I mean all of it.

Iam mainly pissed at Dabis ending because why I mean why would you revoke all of his autonomy and agency and leave him stuck all alone, slowly dying and being stuck with his abuser that wants to dance in hell with him but enji doesn't even understand what Dabi has been through in total.

I would of enjoyed more of spinner and shoji's dynamic and I honestly wanted more of spinner in general but dam hori did done and went and ruined him. Like I wanted to see spinner, wanted to see more of the discrimination plot line, wanted to see more of his thoughts on stain and how he would develop out of it/create his own thoughts of what a true hero is. I wanted more development when it came to him and shigaraki because all of it felt out of place in a way. Idk just wasted potential when it came to him.

Don't get me started about kurogiri Iam still sad about his death (it was cruel to just have him die that was just cruel there was so much potential with kurogiri that never got done right)

Honestly would of loved to know more about magne but I would of wanted her to die either way.

I think we should of gotten more of compress and his whole robin hood style. It's a shame I really wanted to see him do stuff like steal from the rich and give to the poor or simply give him more development then him being just there.

#mha critical #mha #bnha critical #horikoshi critical #hori is a bad writer #bnha #bhna critical #thanks for the ask #thanks for the ask!

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quigzahhutt · 3 months ago

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Hi! Again

I have been rereading the lialex/lawbon royalty au and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. It has altered my brain chemistry because it’s just 👨‍🍳🤌❤️

They way you wrote their outfits and them ofc, has me consider to trow all my WIPs aside and draw them at the ball.

Lialex royalty au you’ll always be famous :,)

HI!! AHH I'm SO happy that u enjoy it so much bcuz I seriously also love that little au even tho it's like. so underdeveloped

ALSO. YES. OUTFITS TEEHEE. this ask may or may not have motivated me to go on Pinterest and find some inspo.... :) (fair warning, i have NEVER made a Pinterest board before so this may be shit BUT. we ball)

so, i personally imagine that they both wear very simplistic crowns (which their families absolutely Do Not appreciate but hey, they're princes what does it matter)

I imagine Liam would wear a circlet, which yeah may be a traditionally more feminine option, but what can I say, I am always pushing the Liam feminization agenda :) very pretty and very regal

(like this) I like to think that his crown would be designed to look sort of leafy/feathery as an homage to the leaf design on the back of his helmet!

(and also cuz. red bull... gives you wings .... so like... feathers...)

and then I imagine Alex has a more typical crown, y'know, big and clunky, very non-personalized, because Alex probably has less freedoms considering he is the eldest son (as opposed to Liam, who is the youngest in his family aka the red bull team) so he has more of an impactful role with a lot more responsibilities

so something sorta like this just with a bit more weight on the base and generally more, like, gaudy. but Alex never wears it (and his family HATES that) bcuz he thinks it's UGLY and HEAVY and UNCOMFORTABLE, SO

he is often seen wearing something more like this :) smaller and dainty, probably worn less on the crown of his head and more like, near the back (kinda like how you wear a beanie, i guess? idk what that area is called but yeah). this crown is more his style (not as chunky, less regal, green and more toned down accent colors to sorta emulate his actual AA23 branding :3)

and then actual outfits is harder. generally I think they would wear more lazy stuff as often as they can (at least, as lazy as you can be when you're a literal PRINCE), but for this specific formal, the outfits I described would be more like this :)

(Alex on left, Liam on the right)

so first, the left-hand one. this is basically EXACTLY how I envisioned Alex's outfit, just maybe with a bit more embellishments and brown pants instead of black (and also less of a glossy fabric if that makes sense?). the brown and sorta gold-y vest is literally PERFECT, like, exactly how I imagined. I think Alex's formal outfits would be very comfortable but definitely classy, and people are usually impressed (which is a major relief to his parents + like, his ENTIRE Kingdom 😭😭 because usually Alex doesn't really care about appearances)

and then Liam's outfit :) idk why but i just love the idea of him always wearing super flowy, loose fitting blouses idk I just think they're so fitting. and then the waistcoat I think would be a little less flowery, more simple but DEFINITELY regal. I think Liam secretly kind of enjoys dressing up and making himself handsome for these kinds of things despite how often he complains about it teehee

and then a little extra detail!! so while it may just look like they're both just wearing vests, Alex's (left) is a vest, while Liam's (right) is a waistcoat. there isn't too much difference between them, but vests are generally more informal and casual, where waistcoats are typically for ultra-fancy events, and I just think that little extra detail that Alex's is just a bit more informal than Liam's is special and very indicative of their characters :)

and then extra pictures that I like and are just very. yeah. them :)

#I HOPE THIS WAS GOOD AND MADE SENSE #this au has kinda sorta maybe taken me by storm #and I'm glad it has for you too :) !!#asks #lialex #lawbon #<3 #mine

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asksuccubussides · 1 month ago

Text

What if you were an asexual succubus, wouldn't that be fucked up or what

Chapter 23

Masterpost of chapters

Cw: Talk of past sexual assault (not detailed)

This time following the dramatic storming off Janus had locked himself in Patton's room which meant that if Remus wanted to avoid interacting with either of the older demons he had no choice but to go mope in Logan's room. He'd curdled up in the window sill with his tail wrapped around himself.

He poked and prodded at the edges of his bandage while feeling like he'd become a side character in his own story with how everyone else kept making decisions based on information no one thought to share with him. His nails dug down beneath the bandages like a cat sticking it's claws under a doorframe while he wondered where Roman was right now. She'd been mad at him but that wasn't much of a surprise since he could hardly remember the last time she wasn't at least a little pissed off at him. There were cases of underdeveloped twins attaching itself to the healthy one like tumors-

A knock at the half agape door forced Remus out of his pity party and he twisted his head to see Janus leaning against the frame in the way he always leant when his back hurt and he was trying to hide it. The shock of seeing him made Remus physically jump into the air.

"JANNIE!" He grined despite being sure the only reason Janus would be here was to beat him bloody.

Janus sat down on the stiff blue bed while Remus kept swaying by the window while twisting his tail around his hand out of nerves.

"I am trying to piece the past few months together" Janus said with his eyes locked onto the floor "So much of what I thought I knew turned out to be lies. I want to hear what you think is the truth. Why did you do it?"

"Which part?"

"Which part!? The one where you tricked me for starters!"

Remus staggered a tiny bit closer "Trick I didn't or tricked as little as possible. I really did- do love you"

"BUllshit. You don't love me-"

"Yes I-"

"You don't respect me as an equal therefore you can not love me! If you actually saw me as my own full fletched person you would have told me the truth! I can understand maybe not immediately but you kept it up for MONTHS! And you didn't think to tell me!-"

"My brother-"

"Oh because I definitely wouldn't have helped you with getting your brother to safety! Why didn't you trust me to help you! We could have figured out a way to help Roman together! But no! I am just a naive human aren't I! Too frail to be told about the ways OTHER PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MANIPULATING MY LIFE!"

"We as demons we- when we made we are taught to see human as just food, not as three dimens-"

"Buddy there are a lot of humans who don't see me as fully deserving of autonomy and rights, you being a demon does not make it unique or and excuse"

"Then...I am all out of excuses" Remus sat down on the edge of the bed but kept his eyes on the ceiling as his tail steadily drummed into the floor.

"Tell me everything. From your eyes. I want to know what actually happened"

Remus scratched at his horns "Well I...I aint lied about not liking sex. I was like uhm whats the word...Not foodie.."

"Starving?"

"Starving! Yeah so I was starving all life all like 22 years-"

"Wait" Janus somehow looked even more disappointed in him "You're not even like 500 years old? I fell into a romance with a supernatural being and I don't even get a sexy age gap?! Why even be non human if you're just going to be the same age as me anyway!"

"Sawry. But yeah. Hungry hungry hating humans never talking to humans and then I just ate a human's arm- He lived! Just ate a bit arm! No big deal! But got caught. The manager- Uh a manager-"

"I've sort of gotten the picture of what a Manager is"

"Yeah the manager took my voice and took my brother's voice and sent me to seduce and kill you and said if I did then maybe Roman would get to live at least. So I went to kill you but then....Then I started to talk to you....And I fell. Fell like tripping into a fucking volcano"

Janus did an exaggerated pout "Awww So SWEet! You Fell in love! Oh Boo Hoo! You had to kill your first love! What a fucking pity! Time to brood about it!"

"At least you're still alive 'cause of me!"

"Oh wow! Thanks! Thank you Remus!" Janus moved closer to him "Thank you to Virgil as well if the shit you demons are saying about him is true! Is there anyone bloody else I have to go and thank for being alive!? Thanks for helping me stay alive so that I now can have trust issues for all of eternity and forever know that you took my first experiences away from me and use-"

"I Genuinely loved you!"

"-d me! And twisted my view of love for forever! I hate you!"

Remus attempted to do his usual shit eating grin "I hope you're being sarcastic and mean the opposite right now"

"I am not. I hate you" Janus grabbed a fistfull of his hair and pulled him close "And I hate that you made me like you and I hate your awful face and I bloody hate that I'm still attracted to you"

Janus pulled him into a kiss and as soon as he felt Remus returning the kiss he pushed the demon down onto the bed and held his face tightly in his hands.

"I hate you" Janus murmured again while biting Remus' lip.

For the first time Remus could let his tail wrap around Janus' waist in the way he had always wanted to do and he moved his hands to the slope of his human's back as he climbed on top of him. He felt the feeding but it was a weird sort of mix between the usual lust and the special kind of feeding he enjoyed only from Janus.

"What does it feel like? The way you eat?" The human asked.

"Bad guy to ask about that. To me it's like being forcefed"

Janus slowed down and his eyes flickered back and forth across the room "....I am very emotionally stable right now. Extremely clearminded...I'm sorry do you want to stop?"

"No! No!"

"You've told me you've been fine with it before when you've actually been lying-"

Remus pulled in his shirt "No! please! I want to! I want you!"

"..I just want to experience sex as a human so I know what it's like before I...before I..But I'm not against Dilfs, I can ask the-"

"I want you! Jannie-"

"You can't call me that anymore"

"Janus I want you. Kissing you has been the only time in my life feeding has been palatable to me! Something about you is special to- to the way I work! I dunno why or how but if you wanted me to rip my intestines out to make you feel better I would. This is nothing. I can- I want to do this"

"But your arm- You're hurt-"

"I got tail to steady myself! It's fine!"

The human moved back and put his head in his hands "What am I even bloody doing. You're horrible! I can't stand you! I can't stand being near you!"

Remus wrapped his tail around the human's wrist and moved his hand up against his cheek "It's okay. You can take anger out on me"

"I..." Their lips were inches from touching when Janus rolled his eyes back as if to show he was giving in before he pulled Remus' shirt off "Check the drawers for lube"

The demon happily complied while Janus took his clothes off. Unlike the first time they had done this there was no sensuality to his actions, it was simply to get the damn clothes off so he could get off and take his mind off of the emotional clusterfuck he was spiraling into. When Remus found a bottle he let out a happy squeal and the smile he did when turning around made Jan's heart skip a beat. He cursed his heart for it but it kept skipping when Remus moved in to make out with him, and even more so when the succubi suggested putting a pillow under Jan's hips to alleviate his backpain.

"How dare you still act all sweet" The human said while pulling him by the horn.

"I can't help it when I'm around you" He kept his eyes locked with Janus' as he moved down to press a kiss to the human's happy trail "Do whatever you want to me, or make me do whatever you want. Please. Use me"

The bed squeaking and moans were loud enough to reach down to the first floor where Logan and Patton were in the midst of packing up their most essential items. Nico the third was doing her part by practicing how to attack by repeatedly destroying a pillow.

Patton took a break to clasp his hands together and look drreamingly up in the air "Ooh the sound of young love"

"It's a good thing we are running away or else I would have had to burn that matress" Logan replied while his eye twitched with annoyance.

"I think they will be alright, what about you honey?"

"I reckon that they will have to pay a lot in therapy or alternatively their relatives will have to pay a lot for their funeral"

"Don't be so pessimistic"

"There's literally an Angel on our tails-"

The conversation got interrupted by Nico's sudden barking. The fur on her back had raised and her ears stood tensed as she had moved to stare at the door while barking nonstop. Patton leant down to soothe her.

"What is it doggy? Bad animal outside? Stinky squirrel?"

Logan had gone pale and only turned paler as his nose caught the sickingly sweet smell of an Angel "I don't think it's a squirrel"

"Who's going to interrupt the love birds?"

Neither of them wanted to do it so they did a round of rock paper scissors to decide which Patton won.

"How do you always win? I have calculated the outcome most likely to win a dozen times by now!"

"It's because you think and I don't!" Patton booped his nose "I'll pack up the last things"

"Don't forget my reading glasses"

"They're already in my backpack"

Logan sighed and quickly checked the window and though he did not see any Angel directly he did see a feather that had fallen on the ground. His throat tightened and he grabbed a frying pan as he passed the kitchen and headed up the stairs. He stopped outside the door and tried to hear if they were close to done. He sighed again and decided to take his glasses off to damage his retinas as little as possible before opening the door.

A scream came before Janus saw it was just him and let out a guttural annoyed grunt "WHY are people always interrupting me from getting laid!!"

"The Angel is near" Logan said already looking away.

The rustling of the blanket could be heard and Logan counted up to 10 in his head before turning to look at the other two. Janus had wrapped the blanket around himself and was absolutely scowling at him while the succubi was sitting crosslegged on the bed still with an erection which he had unsurprisingly not cared to cover.

"Virgil is here?"

"I saw an angel's feather outside so yes I believe he is here" Logan clarified.

The human squinted "What's with the skillet? Are you- Don't tell me you're thinking of hitting him with it"

"I am"

"No you are not! Because I am!"

The demon willingly handed the frying pan over, he thought it was only right before turning around when the human moved to get dressed and he was still looking away when he heard him storm out and hurry downstairs. The older demon picked up a pair of underwear from the floor and threw it at Remus.

"Please find some decency" He muttered.

"Worry bout my decency later. I need to go see Jannie smack the shit out of Virgin" Remus replied while pulling his shorts on. He was on his way out of the room when Logan stopped him.

"I am informing you of the scratchmarks on your back. Take a shirt on or the chances of the Angel murdering you will be even more heightened"

"He can make more holes in my arm if he wants" He snarked but still took the shirt.

The demons came down to the first floor to see Janus peeking out the windows while Patton was putting a leash onto Nico along with a doggy backpack to carry her snacks. The older demon looked as if he was about to say something when he got cut off by knocking. All of them glanced to the front door and with the frying pan in hand Janus sneaked up to check through the peephole.

From his souring expression alone the demons could tell it was the angel.

"What are you doing!?" Logan whispered through gritted teeth when he saw Janus putting his hand around the lock.

"Oh you know I'm just putting in the nuclear codes. What does it look like I'm doing!? It's just Virge. He's harmless"

Janus opened the door. The frying pan fell out of his hands as soon as he saw Virgil and he instead pulled his friend into a tight hug. Virgil eyed the three demons staring at him before casting his eyes down and nuzzling his face against the side of Jan's neck. He closed his eyes and took in the wamrth of him.

"You're still alive"

"I am" Janus stayed in the hug but leant in to whisper "Show me your wings Virge"

He staggered and tried to pull back but Janus held him close "I don't- What- Who are these people"

"Don't try and change the subject Virge"

Virgil choked. His blood turned hot and the tips of his fingers numb while his brain filled with warnings to RUN! RUN! RUN! but he knew it was too late. It was over. Janus knew too much and he could not hide it any longer.

"All I want is to protect you"

The stares from the three demons burrowed into Janus' back until he became acutely aware of it. He let Virgil go from the hug but kept his arm around his shoulders to force him to follow along out of the house and up to edge of the fence surronding the house's lawn. Hopefully it would give them some privacy.

"Look I don't fault you for saving my life when I was little" Janus began "Oh I would just loveeee to hate on a what? 6 year old kid for saving me! But you lied to me for- for my entire life! Why not tell me when we got into our teens! Into adulthood even! Why not tell me at all"

Virgil's voice was barely above a whisper "...because it was against the rules..."

"Saving me was also 'against the rules'. Not telling me wasn't compliance, it was cowardice! You had a choose and you woke up every day and chose to keep lying to me!"

No response came from Virgil. Any possible made up justification he could muster got caught in his throat before traveling down to his lungs to make him unable to breathe. Janus didn't give him a moment to let up either, he kept his eyes steady on the angel knowing that he could make Virgil kneel over with a change of expression.

All Virgil had left was the actual truth. His hands turned too jittery and palms too sweaty to even pull in the zipper of his hoodie to calm himself down. Just pluck it off like a pedal, Pull it like a bandaid, tear it out like teeth.

"Jannie I like you"

"...well, duh"

"No- I mean- I'm- I like guys. I like you"

Janus looked at him in confusion before his eyes widened at the realization of what Virgil meant. His lips trembled for a moment before stretching out into a thin line and his eyes closed into a sneer.

"you..." Janus' voice wobbled "yoU MOTHERFUCKING CUNTASOUROUS REX!"

"angels aren't supposed to fall for their humans..."

"HOW LONG?"

"I dunno like 10 years"

Janus raised his hand as if to slap him before instead moving his finger up to his lips to bite back swears while he paced around in a circle.

"And THAT'S it!?" Janus exclaimed finally.

"What?"

"That's why you- you- I don't- I can't wrap my head around it. What the fuck does this have anything to do with the angel shit!?"

"Because...I dunno..I had to protect you and if I started telling you stuff maybe you..maybe I wouldn't be able to stop myself from tellng you everything"

"And why would that be a bad thing!?!?!"

Virgil was on the brink of tears "Because you would never like me back so if I confessed you would disappear from my life-"

"YOU NEVER GAVE ME A CHANCE TO LIKE YOU! I COULD HAVE LOVED YOU BUT YOU DIDN'T GODDAMN LET ME!"

"huh?"

"I don't! I've never had a crush on you Virge and guess why? Because I've always thought of you as my dear straight friend! Who knows how I would have felt if I had ever gotten the chance to consider otherwise! INSTEAD all I've gotten is this distance between us because I thought you would never understand how I felt for being gay! I thought I couldn't talk to you about it! Before I came out I was worried that you would hate me for it- Hell I kept on censoring myself and my faggy thoughts to not make my sTrAIgHt friend uncomfortable and now you come and tell me that?? What?? You've just been lying!? I mean" He laughed "What else could you have made up. Is your name even Virgil!?"

"Technically Angel's don't have names. I uh choose Virgil because of Dante's infern-"

"THAT WAS A RHETORICAL VIRGE!"

"You can't understand, I was made for you! I only exist to protect you! You are the only thing I have-"

"DON'T PUT THAT ON ME! You didn't give me a chance to understand!"

"BUt you couldn't! You haven't been to Heaven! You don't know the pressure to keep you from sin! All I want is for you to live a long happy life and then go to heaven"

Janus felt something ugly crawling up within him as he sneered "Well guess what Virgil!? You were made for nothing! Because sin isn't real and humans just disappear when they die! Not a single thing you've done has mattered and you've lied to me for nothing! Your whole life has meant NOTHING!"

The information was too overwhelming to even let Virgil speak, all he got out was a whine close to a question.

"The demon in that house" Janus dramatically pointed "Is Patton and I've gotten the idea that he is quite a big deal among you non human shits, and his husband told me all about it. There are no humans in heaven. None!"

Virgil started to cry and Janus watched as he did so. Seeing his pained expresion felt good. Until Virgil broke out into heaving sobs and suddenly he felt horrible but powerless to do anything. Were they even friends anymore, did he have any right to comfort him, shouldn't he be angry. But the anger kept slipping out of his fingers when he saw Virgil quivering.

Inside of the house the three demons had been watching through the window and all of them were grimacing at how obviously non optimal it had gone. Logan breathed a sigh of relief at least that the Angel seemed to be harmless, pathetic even.

Nico had gone from barking to whining while she tugged at her owner's legs to get their attention. She chewed on Patton's pants and he finally looked down at her and assumed she was just anxious because of presence of the angel. He knealt down to give her a big kiss to her fluffy head when he noticed a gust of wind blowing from he living room.

Assuming that was what had actually spooked the dog he trailed off into the other room and caught the drapes in one of the windows flowing back and forth. The latch keeping the window shut had broken and now stood ajar. Patton went up to shut it but before he had the chance to an arm had wrapped around him, keeping his arms tightly shut to his sides.

The clink of a sword was heard before the cold metal got shoved up against Patton's neck. When he tried to twist his head to see who it was the sharp side of the blade tightened against his skin.

"I was hoping to lure my brother over but this will do I suppose" A voice Patton didn't recognise said "Follow along"

The stranger pulled him along back to the kitchen and tapped her shoe into the ground to get the focus of the two demons. Remus only briefly caught sight of his brother before he crammed his head out of the kitchen window and shouted.

"JANUS RUN! MY DICKASS BROTHER IS HERE!!"

The human heard but so did Virgil who wiped his tears and extended one of his wings to stop the human from fleeing. He grabbed ahold of Jan's wrist using his actual strenght for once and dragged him along to the kitchen. With stains of tears still smudged over his cheeks he pushed the human inside and closed the exit behind him before leaning his wings across the door to stop anyone from leaving.

"Here we are. 4 demons, 1 angel and a human in a room bitching" Roman said while letting her eyes wander across each and every one of them.

Her eyes stopped on Virgil and she tilted her head slightly at the sight of the tearstains as if asking if it had gone well. In response he did a thumbs down and she grimaced in sympathy. Remus looked between them.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?"

Patton had been holding his hands up to give an impression that he was completely pacifistic but now tried to twist his hand in an attempt to shake hands with Roman "Heya kiddo, are you the brother we've heard so much about? Me and my hubby helped you get your voices back, you don't have to thank us. I did it gladly. Could you pretty please let me go now?"

"Yes can you let him go now?" Logan added with his teeth churning and hands clenched into fists along his sides.

"Who even are you two" "Where did you two come from" Roman and Virgil asked at the same time.

"WHen did you two get to know each other!?!??!?" Remus butted in.

"Virge are you aware that that twink prince over there tried to kill me. Isn't that going against your whole Guardian thing or something" Janus asked, feeling a headache getting stronger for every second that passed. He didn't really care how the conversation went as he felt powerless in his ability to control what was happening anyway.

"I'm aware but he is not doing that again. Right!?" He shot daggers into the succubi with his glare.

"Yeah yeah, I swear on Ariel"

Patton shook hands with the tiny tip of the sword "Well I am Patton at least. Pleased to mee-"

"PATTON!?"

Roman screamed and nearly dropped the sword but was able to hold it up while shaking in fear.

"And I am his husband!" Logan added.

"No one cares!" "Who- What- You weren't even in the myth! Shut up!"

Roman took a deep breathe to steady his hands before continuing.

"Okay here is what is going to happen. It is very simple. I will take my brother and return to Hell while Virgil takes his human and leaves. I wasn't aware that uhm this traitorous bitch would be here so he isn't acounted in our plans but I guess....we'll just leave you be if you don't get in our way. Patton aside, We go our separate ways and everything returns to normal! Easy!" He pulled Patton's head back by his hair and moved the sword up under his chin "Or else Patton loses his head"

A tense silence pressed down upon the room as Logan mouthed to Remus to do as told while the veins in his neck looked about ready to burst from anger. A few drops of sweat ran down the back of Virgil's neck as he stared between the demons. Everything still. Everything quiet.

Until Janus wheezed into a wild laugh. He threw his head back and pretended to wipe away a tear "Cuuuute. Did you two plan this together? Imagined yourself bursting in and saving the day didn't you. Well I'm going to go sit on the couch until you two are done with your pissing contest"

Janus took a step towards the living room and Roman exploded into yelling "DONT MOVE! OR I'LL CUT YOU"

"Hurt lil ol me? Really? If you move the sword an inch Logan will punt you into the sun. I would like to see you try, and don't try to threaten Patton's safety agaist me because I met that cracker a day ago and I do not care about him"

Virgil moved from the door to pull at Roman's arm and whispered into her ear "You promised nothing would hurt Jannie"

She only shushed him in response.

Meanwhile Patton and Logan were having a heated discussion only with their eyes as Pat tried to assure his husband everything would be fine. Despite the circumstances he was absolutely sure Roman was harmless, at worst he could just poke his horn into her cheek and get away. He gladly stood as hostage if that helped cool her down.

Janus tested the limits and took another step "I TOLD YOU! Don't move!" The demon yelled.

"Am I the only one here confused when those two got to know each other??" Remus asked to which both his brother and ex boyfriend shushed him.

"I have nothing against you human, I do not want you hurt if you don't have to be so please just leave with Virgil and let us demons sort out our demon stuff" Roman continued "This has nothing to do with you"

"This has everything to do with me" Jan corrected "Is it your life everyone is toying with or is it mine?"

"You think you're the only one getting burnt by the consequenses?!"

"I'm the most mortal here so yeah kind of. 20 years of life may be nothing for you but it's a fifth of my life"

"So LEAVE! LEAVE! While you have the chance!" Roman hoped that maybe if the human and angel got away before the manager got here maybe they would be spared.

"You're the one telling me not to move honey"

"Ugh I mean leave with Virgil! Or else you'll die anyway"

"I will and then it will by my choice"

"Great! Welcome to an eternity in Hell Bitch!"

"I'm not going anywhere" Janus pretended to check his nails through his gloves and clicked his tongue "Because the system of sins isn't real, innit Patton?"

Patton looked irked at actually being part of the conversation "I've talked to God. Sins aren't real indeed"

"Thank you!" The human sent Roman a fake smile "The system is only made to benefit those 'managers' and higher ups you work for. I just told Viv about it but I guess he's more concerned about how to hide as much about himself as possible from me to care. Did he tell you he's into guys by the way? Was it only me he hid it from or everyone?"

Remus raised his hand "He kissed me once!"

"Huh..."

The demon glanced over to Virgil to confirm that Janus had told him about sins and he hung his head but nodded nonetheless. Roman stilled for a moment and her eyes went back and forth in rapid thought before she tightened the grip on the sword.

"Well the system works amazing for me" Her voice broke slightly "It is good as it is. It is not the systems fault that all of you are too malformed to fit into it! It's Patton's fault for being a traitor! Remus' fault for being sick! And" He pointed the sword at Janus "YOUR FUCKING FAULT FOR NOT BEING DEAD"

"Okay that bullshit! Unless you mean sick in head I'm not sick" Remus replied "And You not looove the system! Having sex like a horse on ketamine is fine but Try to tell me you really wouldn't prefer to not have to count up your fucks in front of some asshole boss every month! Or even have to go back to Hell! You love Earth dude! Don't tell me you love a system that keeps you from earth!"

"MAYBE I would feel better if I wasn't stuck together with A PARASITE!"

"Parasites are cool as fuck but I'm not one!" Remus yelled "THERE'S NEVER BEEN ANYTHING WRONG WITH US BEING TWINS! Only other people have pressured us into doing incest or judged us for being 'made for it'! I dunno about you but I wasn't made for Incest! I was made to scare old ladies in the store and make babies cry!"

"We literally were made for it though! I hate it, you hate it but it's true!"

"It is factually true that majority of succubi are shaped to conform to specific fetishes" Logan added.

"Logan shut up and focus on your boytoy" "See? Even that random guy agrees with me!" The twins spoke over each other.

"That doesn't mean we gotta do it! That doesn't mean other people get to judge us for it! They can judge me for eating trash because I've actually eaten trash and for eating a guy's arm but not for incest!"

"UGH!" Roman threw his head back in frustration "That's not even point! We could have been made for incest, could have not been, doesn't matter. What matters is the rules! If all of you could have just followed the rules none of this would have happened!"

"Aww but kiddo if we had continued to conform it would have made us miserable" Patton said "It's not-"

"SHUT UP! I DONT CARE! SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BE MISERABLE TO GET THROUGH IT! ITS FINE! ITS NORMAL!"

"If the system worked you shouldn't even have been punished, right?" Janus looked around to see if he'd understood the situation correct to which Remus nodded "You didn't do anyting wrong. It's the system's fault you're here right now-"

"NO! NO IT'S YOURS!" He looked to his brother "AND YOURS. IT'S HUMANS FAULT! YOU TOOK MY LIFE AWAY FROM ME AND YOUR FUCKING FAULT FOR ABANDONING ME!"

"I wasn't abandoning you!"

"YES YOU DID! YOU LEFT ME TO STARVE ALONE IN HELL AND- AND- ALL FOR A HUMAN THAT ISN'T EVEN WORTH ANYTHING! THAT SHOULD HAVE DIED! IT'S ALL OF YOURS FAULT! WELL CONGRATS REMUS! YOU GOT WHAT WANTED! YOU GOT AWAY FROM ME! YOU GOT AWAY FROM ANY SUCCUBI OBLIGATIONS! GOOD FOR YOU! GOOD FOR FUCKING YOU! YOU GOT LIVE OUT YOUR WEIRD FANTASIES AWAY FROM ANY CONSEQUENSES! SORRY I HAD TO CRASH INTO YOUR NEW LIFE AND BE THE EMBODIMENT OF THOSE CONSEQUENSES"

Virgil tugged at his arm again and mumbled "Ro you're shaking. Deep breathes"

She shook his hand off of her "ALL OF YOU TOOK MY LIFE AWAY FROM ME! YOU RUINED ME! I JUST WANT- I JUST WANT TO GO BACK TO MY OLD LIFE!" She pointed the sword against Patton's chest, right above his heart "TAKE ME BACK TO MY OLD SELF!"

"I can't- I can't do that kiddo. I'm sorry"

"UGH! You traitors can't even be useful! I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING WRONG AND YET IT'S ME THAT HAS TO FIX THIS MESS!"

He pushed Patton to the side to which Logan quickly embraced him while Roman raised his sword and lunged towards the human. Remus grabbed his brother by the tail and tugged him back to stop him before twisting the knife out of his hands and putting him in a headlock.

"No Janus killing in front of me" Remus said "There's only one kind of Anus we should kill and that's with our dicks"

Roman went limp in his arms "See? You put him first. You don't care about me"

"I do. If you stay we can sort everything out. I can go on a cool quest to get you a magical sword to show you I care and you can get back to looking healthy. Patton can keep us safe until we figure shit out. We can help Janni- Janus without hurting us and-"

"I'm not staying in a traitor's house" She growled and pulled herself out of the headlock

Remus put himself between her and the human and didn't budge but Roman didn't try to attack him again. She picked the sword up from the ground and went towards the door. Virgil didn't have to ask, all he had do was look towards Janus to know he wasn't welcomed here. He followed along after the demon and left the house. Logan made sure to watch until they had left the house's garden as well.

"Seriously when did those two even meet" Remus muttered to which no one answered.

Instead Janus crossed his arms "Don't get the idea that protecting me has made me bloody forgive you"

"Got it"

The human turned to Patton "Are you ready to help me die? That intrusion should have been enough of a wake up call about us not having a lot of time shouldn't it?"

Patton sighed but nodded "Logan be a dear and get the candles, I'll get the book"

Random patches of grass got stabbed at as Roman paced past, her walk fast and brows furrowed in frustration. Virgil had to use his wings to follow along and tried to tap at her shoulder.

"Dude you okay? You went kinda intense in there"

Roman waved him off before suddenly sitting down on the ground and repeatedly stabbing the sword into the ground until it turned mushy and the tree roots became visible. "Its fine"

"You sure?"

She forced back a sniffle "As sure as Cinderella's shoe fits"

Virgil hunched down beside him and tapped his fingers against his knees while thinking of what to say.

"I'm sorry bout trying to attack your crush" Roman mumbled.

"Its okay, you didnt stand a chance"

"Did you tell him?"

"Yeah"

"Did it go good?"

Virgil sighed but it turned into a chuckle "Nah. But I guess it feels sorta good to have said it. Lying all the time just gets you a big lump in your chest"

"Mhm. Now you can move on! Explore other men!"

"Nahh. I mean I'm probably dying soon anyway. Good to get it out there before hand"

Roman stopped stabbing "What?"

"Yeah if Janne dies I'm getting sent up to heaven to get my next human assigned but obviously they will see I've been gone for....quite some time and" He shrugged "They're gonna throw me down to hell. It's fine. I was living for Jannie's sake anyway. If he's gone I might as well disappear too. No point in even running away to rescue him from Hell if humans just disappear anyway"

"If you get throw down to Hell I will catch you. I'll help you stay alive"

Virgil turned to see Roman looking at him with wide puppy eyes and couldnt help but blush slightly.

"... Whatevs. Sure"

"If everything works out I might even be able to get you living cushy" He thought of The manager's plans to have the demon live with him. His chest tightened but maybe living with a manager could give him power to protect Virgil "Living cushy...in hell..." His sight turned spotty at the thought of returning to Hell.

"Hey" Virgil squeezed her knee "Focus on me"

The saliva in her mouth turned sticky enough to tape her lips shut and the feeling of being silenced returned.

Virgil took her hand and brought her fingertips to the vein on his neck.

"Stay with me"

"I barely even feel like a succubi right now. I barely even feel like Roman"

"You feel like the Roman I know"

"Yeah well you didnt know me before I" He sniffled again "Look I- I'm a succubi. I'm like an expert in sex. It's all I know so of course I know that despite what anyone says despite the fact that I didn't- or couldn't- verbally say no I still know that the first time it happened was rape because anyone would have been able to get no from my body language an- and I know that"

"Oh okay we're talking about this now" Virgil mumbled mostly to himself to try and get mentally prepared to comfort the demon.

"But the other times. The other two times now. Two! I've- I've gone along with it willingly. I willingly followed him to his apartment again and I willingly spoke to him despite knowing what would most likely happen and I didn't even push him away or shake my head or anything so that must mean- that- doesn't that mean- that- that-"

Roman's words ebbed out as she stared forward with an expression burrowed in a confused sneer. She moved her hands to grasp at her head.

"wHat am I even saying right now!? I know better than this! It wasn't my fault! I was starving- I am starving! He kept every other food source away from me! He didn't give me a choice! Saying it wasn't rape is like saying a human being forced to have sex in exchange for food isn't rape! Why is my brain telling me it's my fault- no why is it making sense when I hear it in my head! It doesn't make fucking sense when I say it out loud!?" She crumpled in on herself "My brain wasn't like this before!"

"...Uhm I'm sure there was a time when my brain didn't tell me that every store clerk would wanna kill me for speaking to them- Fuck I know that is not at all even closely the same to what you're going through but I mean like..sometimes brains just fuck up I guess. They get their wires crossed or something"

"So will my brain stay like this forever now?"

"NO! I mean- I- My brain is an anxious mess all the time but I don't put any work into fixing it! I didn't want to because being a pathetic anxious mess made Jannie comfort me and give me attention and- I sound horrible- But I mean! Our brains can be fixed I'm sure. Or like improved!"

Virgil wanted to comfort him but didn't want to trigger him by actually touching him, until he realized he had something that couldn't possible remind him of the demon that had hurt him. The angel gently laid his wing around Roman and let him cozy up against the soft feathers as he cried.

"I just feel like he took everything about me and twisted it. I liked my job, I liked having sex, I liked feeding, and now it al just reminds me of him. And at the same time I feel like- like if I was actually raped I...I don't know it feels like real rape victims aren't supposed to want to have sex after that. Like they're just supposed to be celibate monks after it but I" She laughed grimly "Oh my devil I can't believe I'm crying over being horny but I am! And I feel wrong for being horny! And I never was before!"

".....Ro....If you go back to Hell.....will you see this guy again?"

Roman's breathe hitched while his mind raced in indecision whether to lie or not "...Yes. I will. He's my- He's my manager. I will have to see him every month for the rest of- of- For forever"

"WHAT!?" He heaved out a big breathe "I'm so glad our stupid shitty plan didn't work then. I wouldn't have gone along with helping you and Remus get back to hell if I knew it was your boss that hurt you!-"

"It's fine"

"IT'S NOT FINE! He's done it thrice! That means he will probably keep doing it! Either he has to go or you cant return there! I wont let you!"

"Not you too" Roman burrowed her head in her hands "Everyone else already told me I'm dumb for conforming to the rules-"

"It's not the rules! It's assault!-"

"It is the rules! He has the power! I am a slutty succubi who is made for sex! Of course he will take advantage of that! Who's going to speak up about!? When I obviously must have either seduced him or- or enjoyed it- or who even cares if a succubi enjoys or even consents to it! We were made for it! This what the system was built for! And It's Fine!"

Virgil looked horrified "You can't believe that"

In response Roman sniffled and covered her ears "I just want to go back to the old me. After he did it the first time he told me that now every time I did my job I would be reminded of him and he was fucking right. I don't wanna be reminded of him anymore. I wanna go back"

"Ro he hurt you-"

"I want to forget what he did and not shudder when I see him"

"We- I can't let you get hurt a-"

"I want to go back to when I enjoyed sex and didn't gag at feeding and I liked being a succubi. I liked myself. I liked being me. I hate this me. I'm ugly and mean and worthless used goods and alone and my rapist is the only one who loves me or even wants me around!"

"That's not true-"

She shook her head and closed her eyes tightly shut "I wanna go back. I wanna go back. I don't want this to be real. I want to be the old me. If I do as he says everything can become normal again and I can be normal again and not all mixed up. I just wanna go back to the old me-"

"You can't!" Virgil grabbed her by the arms "You can't go back to the old you"

"You're supposed to cheer me up! Not make me feel worse!"

"Ro it happened. I saved Jannie as a kid and my brain has been stuck in fight or flight ever since and I can't undo it-"

"You're supposed to be on my side here!"

"I am! But it happened and just because you try and force yourself back into the way you lived before it happened that won't undo it. It won't make you forget, it won't make him Him forget what he did and it won't make the old Roman come back, whoever that is"

Roman turned his head away to try and avoid the conversation but Virgil moved his hand against his jaw and tilted his head back. The demon pouted with tears still brimming at the edges of his eyes.

"I never met this 'old Roman' you wanna return to but I know the new you and I dunno about you but I think this new Roman is kind of a dork but like..a nice dork. A nice princely dork"

"The new me shouldn't even exists"

"But she does and I'm not letting her go back to Hell. So what does the new Roman want to do now?"

Roman hung her head down which made her unruly locs fall down in front of her eyes. It was quiet for a few moments until she let up into a slight sob that turned into a laugh. She raised her head and wiped away a tear while his smile turned crooked.

"I haven't been to Disneyland in a while"

The laugh made snot run down from her nose which she wiped on her arm and her smile rubbed off on Virgil.

"Yeah? Fucking nerd" The angel teased "I've never been"

"WHAT!? You can meet Jack Skellington! You have to go!"

"Ugh but all of the people"

"We can fly above the crowds. It'll be fine. The darkrides are quiet"

She moved in close and rested her forehead against Virgil's while he moved his thumbs to wipe away the last of her tears.

"Well I can't say no to Jack"

"They have really good ice cream as well- Oh and this huge meat leg at this Gaston shop. I really like that one"

"Maybe we can go at Halloween"

Despite their hushed planning both of them secretly thought they wouldn't reach that day. Virgil thought his death was near while Roman thought he would get stuck by the manager's side. Still both of them kept planning to bring the other one comfort.

"I like flying up to the roof of one of the building's on main street and watching the fireworks from there. Maybe I can even get us a reservation at the Beauty and Beast restaurant! The food is meh but the decor! Oh my heart! The decor!"

"Unless they got that mushy breakfast the beast eats in the movie I'm gonna be disappointed" Virgil replied which made Roman chuckle.

"And you tried to convince me you weren't a disney nerd"

"Hey now! Beauty and the beast is super gothic! It has death and themes of dehumanization and sexism! it is not just a kids movie!"

"Spoken like a true Disney dickrider"

Virgil cupped her cheek and edged his thumb against where her smile left laughlines along her skin "See? You dserve a nice day at Disney. You don't deserve all that shit that's happening in Hell"

Gently Roman pressed a kiss to the angel's cheek that made him turn beet red "Thank you Virgil"

"N-no problemo.......why did I say problemo"

The demon chuckled "You're cute"

"No I'm not! I'm- I'm cool and uhh rad"

"Cute"

"Not"

"Cutteeeee. Like a lil kitten"

He shoved his wing up into Roman's face "Shut up time"

"It's never time for me to shut up. Never again!"

"Ough! I forgot- I fucking forgot you had your voice taken away" He moved his wing away "Sorry"

"It's fine!"

"So uhh should we like buy a tent or-"

In the middle of the sentence Virgil threw his hand up around his neck as his eyes widened and stared out into the air. His mouth fell agape while he rapidly blinked before standing up just as suddenly.

"JANNIE IS IN DANGER!"

It was all he had time to shout before he took off with the air carrying his wings towards that dreadful house. The grass was still blowing from his sudden takeoff when Roman got up on her feet and dusted the dirt from her knees. She steeled her grip around her sword and tried to summon her wings but her head was too lightheaded from hunger to get them out.

She took a deep breathe and got ready to run after him when she heard the flapping of wings, wings in the plural. Not just the sound of Virgil's. It was many. She looked up and saw the leaves in the trees blow forth from the impact of the wings before turning around to see The manager approaching with a dozen- no more, at least twenty demons of rage following behind him.

"Phew. The closest door was quite a bit away but we got here!" The manager said in the most cheery tone Roman had probably ever heard him speak in.

He reverted his wings and got down on the ground so he could pull his many arms around Roman and force him close. He glanced to the nearby demons before leaning in to whisper.

"I've already started looking for suites to buy- y'know once I get that promotion for killing Patton. I found one with an entire jacuzzi on the balcony! My fish are gonna love that! Besides who doesn't wanna fuck in a jacuzzi, right?"

No sounds came from Roman. All he could do was stare down at his shoes while his stomach turned like a stormy see. The manager snapped his fingers right in his face.

"Hello? Answer me. Do I have to remind you that you got your voice back" He dangled her back and forth in his arms "Don't worry, I'll let you look at the listings before I buy any of them. I'll let you choose a room" He dragged his finger across her cheek "Have you been crying?"

He quickly shook his head but the manager still leant down and licked his long tongue across the tear stains while Roman gagged. He put his hand at the back of the succubi's head to hold him steady and kissed him.

"You're still delicious" He didn't whisper that and Roman suddenly became aware of the many eyes staring at him.

Surely the demons would gossip about this, surely it would reach the succubi quarters, surely they would shun him for using sex to get favoritism from the manager. The last bits of his social life that hadn't been ruined by being one of the incest twins would get destroyed if a rumor about him fucking the manager got out. He would become completely isolated which he knew was probably precisely the manager's goal.

The manager rubbed his hands together and turned to the small batalion "Let's get this traitorious Patton hunt started!" He motioned to Roman "Where is he?"

Roman's entire arm shook as he lifted it and pointed towards the house.

#sanders sides #tss #thomas sanders #remus sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #dukeceit #logan sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #prinxiety #what if you were an asexual succubus wouldnt that be fucked up or what

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