#yes 10 words are exactly like 20 pages of text

[jerichoes]

trying to cram at least ten words of turkish into my head less than two days before the trip like i’m 21 again and getting ready for my foreign lit exam

[moody-alcoholic]

Chapter 1 - The Job.

I just don't know when to stop, if I don't have like 20 projects going at once I get bored. I waited until I had a name though, no longer will I be titling everything 'untitled XYZ fic. It was actually my fiancée who came up with the name.

Work summary: 141 retired and decided to open a delivery company. Only it's not a delivery company, it's a cover for less legal practices. Need a creepy stalker out your life? Someone owes you money? You need to disappear to a new life? Special Delivery Service has got you covered, for a reasonable fee.

Chapter Summary: 5.5k words, Simon x reader, female reader, name used: Dani (this is just personal preference, I don't like using Y/N.) You accept a job offer to work as an office admin for a commercial delivery company. Only the job is not quite as it seems and you come to learn neither are the people you work for.

CW: mentions of abusive ex, alcohol, language, flashbacks of domestic abuse.

masterlist - next

AO3 link

Enjoy <3

You see the job listing towards the bottom of the page: 

Office admin wanted! To start immediately. MUST have a background in logistics.  Send CV to: Price@SDS.co.uk Competitive salary. 

It was short, sweet, to the point and the most promising job posting you had seen all day. You had a background in logistics, you’d just spent the last 3 years working as a supply chain manager. Mainly it was just organising warehouse deliveries but it was experience none the less. You copy the e-mail and send the CV, with a job posting like this you didn’t expect to hear a response back for a few days.

It was already 8pm you’d been applying for jobs all day. You decided to give up for tonight, the sofa and the TV were calling you. You head into the kitchen rummaging through the fridge to see what sad meal you would cook up tonight. You pull out a box of Chinese leftovers, they still smell good. You tip them on a plate throwing it in the microwave as you pour yourself a glass of wine. Turning the TV on channel surfing when your phone starts ringing, you go to pick it up. It’s not a number you know but you swallow your nerves accepting it in case it’s about a job. 

“Hello?” You say.

“Hello is this Dani” A male voice comes through the other end.

“Yeah,” You reply feeling nervous all of a sudden, you sip the wine. 

“You applied for the office admin job?” The voice says back. You have to think for a second, he can’t mean the job you literally applied for less then 10 minutes ago. You look back over at the laptop screen the e-mail still open.

“Hello?” the voice says.

“Yes, sorry yeah, wow I didn’t expect to hear back so quickly.”

“Yeah, we need someone to start immediately, can you come down for an interview tomorrow?” 

“Sure what time?” You ask, you need this job, you need to get back on your feet. 

“I’ll message you the time, and the address.” He says, you hear noise in the background sounds like a door slamming.

“Thank you,” you say as you hear the microwave beep. 

“No problem, see you tomorrow.” He says and hangs up the phone. You take your food out the microwave and flop down on the sofa tuning into whatever soap was playing on the TV. You’re halfway through your food when you get a text with the address and a time. 10am. You copy the address and put it into google, now is a better time then ever to find out about this company. Special Delivery Service, SDS, you don’t know why that makes you chuckle, it makes you think of DFS, the sofa company. The address is close by only a few streets actually, you could walk there in about 20 minutes, that’s convenient at least. From the looks of the website it’s a commercial delivery company. ‘Discretion is our specialty’ it says as you continue reading, there is not much info just how to contact them for a quote. The pictures are mainly stock images bar the logo.

You’d never heard of them before but it’s not exactly like you’re in the market for commercial deliveries, it has good ratings though, that means something. You throw the phone to the side turning back to the TV. This was good, this is a good start it’s what you need to move on, maybe even a fresh start. It feels like the right time, newly out of toxic relationship, made redundant, all in less then a month.

Maybe you could use a nice change of pace, or maybe you would go to the interview tomorrow and it will be a complete waste of time. Either way it’s a step in the right direction and at least your mum will be happy you’ve found a job, you’re pretty sure she was dreading the thought of having to financially support you until you were back on your feet. Now you were definitely hoping the interview would will go well, the thought of having to rely on your mother to support you was the worst. You would rather ask your ex, Lord knows he owes you one. You finish the food and lounge around watching TV until you start to dose off. You peal yourself off the couch heading into bed, a good nights rest will do you good, besides you want to make a good impression tomorrow. 

—————————— 

You get to the building early, it’s sunny weather for once and you can see the large doors to the building flung open. You peak in and see delivery vans, the whole place looks like it was an ex-mechanic shop. A figure catches the corner of your eye, he’s talking to another man walking across the floor, you can’t hear what they’re saying but the shorter man seems enthusiastic about something. Before you can get a better look they disappear out of your line of sight. You look over to what you assume is the customer entrance, and walk in. There is a man sat behind the counter, he seems distracted by something angrily typing on a computer. He sighs as you reach the desk, his eyes flicking up to you, he scoots back in the chair.

“How can I help?” He asks, his demeanour changing, he’s got a nice smile. 

“I’m here for an interview,” You say suddenly feeling nervous. He nods getting up.

“Yeah of course, come through.” He says opening a hidden door in the counter and you walk though. He leads you through to the main room it still smells of fuel, this place definitely used to be a mechanic shop, you can see the covered up pits on the floor where they would access under the cars.

Your attention is drawn to the sound of laughing and you see the two men from earlier stood round a coffee machine. The taller man has his back turned to you while the shorter man is chuckling, hitting the taller man on the back. His eyes move to you, he’s fit, well built, tanned skin, he runs his hand through his slick mohawk, you could have swore he just winked at you. You turn your attention back to the man leading you as you reach a metal staircase.

The second floor-if you can even call it that-is furnished with sofa’s and a kitchenette, you can see a dart board and what looks like a pool table. Looks like a cool place to hangout. You feel bad for not asking the man his name as he leads you an office door. He knocks and you both wait. 

“Come in!” a voice calls, you think you recognise it, its the same person you spoke to on the phone yesterday. The door opens and you walk in. You look at the man sat behind the desk, he looks older then the other people you’ve seen, his beard makes him look older then you suspect for some reason, you can see the bags under his eyes like he could do with long nap.

“Thanks Kyle,” He says as you walk in. Okay, his name was Kyle you’d have to remember that. He nods leaving the room closing the door behind you. The man behind the desk gets up as you walk over to him. He comes round putting his hand out for you to shake it.

“John Price,” he says as he nods at you smiling. You nod back.

“Sit please, coffee? Tea?” He gestures to the chair and walks back round the desk. 

“I’m fine, thank you.” You look up at him smiling as you sit down. His office walls are massive windows looking down on the room below you can see people moving around now opening the back of the vans. You look back up at him as he takes a paper in his hand. 

“3 years as a supply chain manager, studied business in college, pretty impressive.” He says putting the paper back down. 

“Thank you,” you say, not that it’s really that impressive the only reason you did a business course was to make your parents happy. You had no idea what you wanted to do when you finished secondary school. 

“So do you have any experience in warehouse management?” He asks leaning forward on the desk. 

“Well at my last job towards the end, there was a lot of inventory organisation and I was pretty much left in charge of clearing the whole place out before the business went under.” You say, you’re not sure if that’s what he’s expecting, to be honest with the little research you managed to do and the vague job posting you were not sure what to expect. 

“The jobs pretty simple. There are three main aspects, the first is the most important; the clients send us a list of good they need transporting, it’ll be your job to assign it to a driver then create the invoices, paperwork, the system is already pretty automatic. A lot of it is just data entry if I’m being honest.” You smile at him as he continues, so far it seems like a pretty easy job. 

“The second part is when a client sends a special request, the system is not set up to handle them yet so they can come through as errors, with just an e-mail address attached. If you can assign them to someone great if not forward them on to me. The system will let you know if a driver has available delivery slots.” You nod as he finishes, you could handle this, data entry, assigning jobs to people, easy. 

“Sounds good so far.” You reply. He nods. 

“The last part is just your general office admin work, you’ll man the front desk, answer the phone, the boys will tell you if they need supplies ordering that kind of stuff. The hours are standard 9 to 5, 5 days a week, we’re closed Saturday Sunday.” He says spinning round in his chair and taking some paper from the printer. 

“I live close by actually it’s really convenient.” You say. 

“That’s nice, if you want the job I have a contract ready, you can start tomorrow then you’ll have the weekend off.” He says spinning back round straightening the paper out. That’s sudden, the job did say start immediately though, and you really need this job. 

“Of course, that’s great.” You say smiling, hoping he can’t see your hesitation. He pushes the stack of papers towards you, you flick through the first few pages of standard workers rights. 

“You’ll get 2 weeks paid vacation a year, sick leave and maternity leave should you need it kick in after a month of probation.” He explains, pretty standard. You flick through it to the end page with the salary break down. Holy shit! 

“The job requires a certain level of…Discretion.” He explains. “You’re compensated for the inconvenience.” 

“What like I can’t tell people were I work?” You ask confused. He looks at you like he’s trying to think of what to say. 

“We have clients who expect their information to be handled, appropriately. On top of that some of your colleagues like to keep their work and home life separate.” He says eventually, you frown. That’s strange and he didn’t answer your question. You nod like you understand though, regardless you’ll take the 'hush money.' Especially since you’ll be making more then you’ve never made for what is basically a data entry job, and maybe having to answer the phone a few times. It almost seems to good to be true. You skim over the rest of the legal jargon and company rules. 

“Any questions?” He asks as you pick up a pen, you shake your head and sign both pieces of the paper, then hand it to him. He smiles signing it too and ripping off one of the pages handing it back to you. 

“One last thing.” He says hesitating for a second. “Do you have a criminal record?” 

“No,” you shake your head. He stands nodding and you get up too, as he walks round the desk, heading for the door to his office and you follow him. 

“I’ll get one of the boys to show you round before you leave.” He says opening the door.

“MacTavish!” He calls as you follow him out the room. You watch as a man appears at the bottom of the steps, it’s the guy from earlier who was laughing. He’s defiantly good looking there’s no denying it. 

“Come show our new recruit around.” He nods coming up the stairs. 

“If you have any questions let me know and I’ll e-mail you a full copy of your contract.” John says as he puts his hand out and you shake it. 

“I will thank you,” you smile and he heads back into his office. 

“John MacTavish!” The man says extending his hand out to you, he’s got an accent for a second you look at him confused.

“Another John?” You ask as you shake his hand. 

“Aye, most people call me Johnny though.” He winks. Now you’re sure he winked at you earlier. He walks round you over to the sofa’s and the pool table. 

“This is where we chill out between deliveries, or just in general. Do you play?” He asks pointing at the pool table. 

“Once or twice, at the pub.” You say. You’re still trying to pin his accent, Welsh or Scottish? You’re too embarrassed to ask. He comes back over to you and you see he’s walking with a limp, it’s especially obvious as you follow him down the steps and he has to grip the banister for support. 

“This is were we load the vans up with anything we need, toilets over there and next to them is the store room.” He says pointing to the rooms directly under the upstairs office. There are metal shelves filled with all different kinds of things from basic office supplies to what looks like medical equipment and machinery. The store room door is the only door you’ve seen with a key-code lock on it, makes sense. There is a long table surrounded by chairs and a projector against a far wall. You look over to see another man sat at the table typing on a laptop. 

“This is Simon, Simon Riley.” Johnny says as he takes you over. He’s wearing a hoodie pulled over his head and a black surgical mask. Maybe he’s a clean freak? Or maybe this was what John meant by ‘Your colleagues like to keep their work and home life separate.’ You extend your hand out too him as you approach. 

“Nice to meet you.” You say, he looks up at you for a second. His eyes are beautiful, a dark caramel, thick eyebrows and you can see strands of blonde hair peaking out from under his hood. He shakes your hand, his grip is firm, you swallow hard. He’s giving off a different vibe then the rest of the people you’ve met so far, you almost want to run away from him. 

“Don’t worry about him he’s always grumpy in the morning.” Johnny says leaning into your ear. Simon rolls his eyes and turns his attention back to typing on the laptop. John, Johnny, Simon and Kyle, you repeat the names in your head so they’re burned into your memory. Johnny continues his tour showing you round the main floor, you were right as he explained the building used to be a mechanics until they took it over. Before that it was an abandoned munitions processing plant from the second world war. The building did look old, stylish red brick, huge arched windows that let in a lot of natural light. The doors were even old on rollers, thick and wooden. The more you looked around the more it reminded you of the old workhouses you’d seen in history books. Johnny leads you through to the lobby, the only part of the building that seems to have been renovated in the last 10 years. 

“This is Kyle Garrick, we call him Gaz.” Johnny says as Kyle stands up and you shake his hand. He’s fit too, dark skinned, short hair and he’s got a lovely smile, London accent you can tell he’s local too. 

“This will be where you work.” Johnny says pulling the chair out. 

“I’m sure Price will give you the rundown tomorrow on how the system works, we’re still working on getting it up and running properly.” Johnny says enthusiastically. You nod looking round at the desk, there is a large printer/photocopier in the corner and a plant that looks like it’s seen better days. At least the computer is up to date and honestly you can work with this. 

“So nervous for your first day?” Johnny asks as Kyle sits back down. 

“Not really.” You say smiling. 

“Good lass, that’s what we like to hear!” Johnny says patting you on the shoulder. Scottish, definitely Scottish. Kyle chuckles as he goes back to typing on the computer. You feel like now is the best time to take your leave. You thank Johnny and tell them both you’ll see them tomorrow. 

“Wait a second lass, here.” Johnny reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a business card.

“Any questions drop me a message.” He smiles. You nod pocketing the card and heading out. You look back at the building as you leave seeing Johnny wave, you wave back awkwardly. Why would anyone care about keeping there home and work life separate when you work for a simple delivery company? You think back to Simon with the mask, maybe he’s just hygienic? Regardless it was a good job, close to home and good pay. You wouldn’t have to rely on your mum or your ex to get you through the month. At least that was a weight off your shoulders.  

—————————— 

Later that evening your mother calls.

“Hey mum.” You say as you reluctantly pick up the call, not really feeling in the mood for her energetic energy, especially after Johnny’s enthusiastic tour.   

“Hey sweetie! I was just thinking about you today and I thought I would call to tell you, Anne from church has a job opening at her son’s restaurant. You know Chris? He works at that nice Italian place, well I said you were looking for a job and Anne said she would put in a good word.” You sigh as you let your mother talk. 

“It’s okay mum I got a job today actually. I went for an interview and they offered me the job on the spot.” You say.

“Oh sweetie that’s amazing where is it?” She asks, you pause, maybe telling your over sharing mother about a job you were warned required discretion was not the best idea. 

“It’s just a small firm in the city centre, they were looking for a logistical analyst.” You say lying through your teeth. 

“Oh well that sounds fancy, I hope it pays well if you’ll have to be trudging into the centre of London everyday.” You hear her chuckle.

“It does mum don’t worry, I start tomorrow actually.” 

“That’s fantastic, I’m sure you’ll do great.” 

“Thanks mum.” You say smiling. There’s a pause on the line.

“Have you spoken to Joe?” She asks, you sigh. 

“No mother I have not spoken to him since we broke up.” You reply bitterly wanting to end the conversation now.  

“He’s been asking about you, you blocked him or ignored him or something but sweetie I think you should talk to him he misses you.” You sigh, of course he’s turned on your mum, your sweet mother who couldn’t hurt a fly and always sees the best in people. Even toxic abusers. 

“I’ll think about it mum, look I have to go I have an early start tomorrow.” You say.

“Okay well get a good rest and good luck for tomorrow I love you.” She says.

“I love you too,” you reply and hang up.

That night you dream of your ex. You’re still with him trapped in the cycle of wake, make him happy, work, make him happy, sleep, repeat. The verbal abuse, the physical abuse, the days he would lock you in the bathroom for hours on end.

You took the lock off the door when he moved out. You’re not sure why it just felt like the right thing to do. You bought a deadbolt for the front door and no longer sleep with the windows open, fearing he could scale the apartment building to get to you. That’s what he does in your dreams, he gets around all the precautions you put in place. You dream of him being in your space, questioning everything you do, insisting on checking your phone and e-mails, even your work ones. Anytime a male’s name came up he would grill you about it for hours, no matter what you said it always felt like he never believed you. But then he would make you feel good, take you to the bedroom and treat you like a princess and it was like he was a different person. 

‘He’s just protective sweetie’ your mother says. ‘He loves you.’ The bruises on your arm would say otherwise, wearing turtle necks in summer became your fashion statement for at least a year. ‘He probably doesn’t mean it have you tried talking to him?’ Your brother was no better, to busy with uni to care, too much of a mans man to understand. He’s gone now though and that’s what you have to remember, it’s easier said then done. 

 —————————— 

The next morning you show up early. Your body feels heavy after the restless night. You walk in seeing John bent over Kyle’s shoulder as their looking at something on the computer behind the counter. 

“Hey, maybe you can figure this out, we’ve been trying to get these documents to copy over and it’s just not working.” Price says as he steps back you walk round watching Kyle trying to drag and drop a file into a folder. An administrative error pops up. 

“Mind if I?” You gesture for Kyle to move he holds his hands up rolling away on the chair as you try again. You’re not the most competent with computers but you could probably figure it out. You try compressing the file first then moving it and it works. 

“What did you do?” Kyle asks.

“I think the file was too big so I compressed it, do you need it sent in an e-mail?” You ask looking at John.

“Yes please if you don’t mind.” You nod. 

“Coffee?” Kyle asks as he gets up out the seat heading into the main building. 

“Yes please.” You say turning to smile at him and pulling the chair over so you can sit down. Price explains how everything works as you get situated. He shows you the documents on the computer for how to answer the phone, and deal with walk in requests. The ‘system’ they have set up for assigning deliveries is basically just a glorified spreadsheet which is good, you can work with that it’s not too far out of your comfort zone. 

“If you have any questions just call, there is a direct line to my office if you press 1 on the phone.” You nod trying to take it all in as Kyle comes back with a cup of coffee. 

“I didn’t know how you took it so I just did milk.” He says. 

“That’s fine thank you.” You reply, as he places it next to you. Then heads back. John tells you again to ask if you need anything then also leaves you too it. You’re looking through the computer making sure you defiantly understand everything when Simon and Johnny walk in. 

“Morning,” you say to them smiling.

“Morning lass, guess we didn’t scare you away yesterday!” Johnny beams, he seems to have too much energy especially compered to Simon who is still sporting his hoodie and mask combo. His eyes lock onto you as he walks through the lobby, his glare sending shivers down your spine. In a strange way, you’re not scared of him, more intrigued. He walks through the counter to the main floor without saying anything. 

“Sorry, he’s a rude bastard when he hasn’t had a coffee yet.” Johnny says.

“It’s okay,” you shake your head. You look through the window into the main floor watching Gaz open the large garage doors out to the street. 

“Hey, if we’re both around at 12 want to get lunch together? I know this great sandwich place down the road my treat!” Johnny says. You nod, he really has a way of putting you at ease with his palpable bubbly energy. 

“Right, I’ll see ya then lass,” he says and he heads through. 

The morning goes quick or maybe it’s because everything feels so new and foreign that it takes you a lot of concentration to make sure you’re doing it right. Before you even try to do anything you’re already calling John in his office about the names, instead of it being Johnny, Simon and Kyle, it’s Gaz, Soap and Ghost. Gaz you remember but the other two it’s a 50/50. John laughs and tells you Soap is Johnny and Ghost is Simon.

Each time you give them a job they stick their heads round the door to pick up the invoice, you try to make it a habit of printing it out as soon as you assign the job, so it’s ready when they come in. You purposely give Simon a job over lunch so Johnny is free, it’s a little cheeky for your first day but you wouldn’t mind spending more time with Johnny. 

When lunch comes around Johnny shows you how to set the phone to go to Price’s office and you both leave. The shop is right round the corner but by this time of the day it’s packed with people on their lunch break, you order your sandwiches to go and head back to work to eat them there. You’re both sat upstairs in on the sofa’s, it is nice up here and you can see down to the floor below you gives you something to watch while you eat. 

“How’s your first day been so far then?” Johnny asks.

“Fine, it’s just getting used to the system that might take a while.” You confess.

“Yeah, you’re doing great though, my jobs have been smooth and easy all day.” He says. You nod. 

“So how did you all meet?” You ask.

“Now that’s a story!” He says sitting up in his chair. 

“We were all military together, SAS.” He says. That explains the company name Special Delivery Service, you chuckle it’s cute, funny now you get it.

“Why’d you quit?” You ask. 

“Our time was up we chose not to re-enlist, it was Simon’s idea to start a delivery company, something easy we could do in retirement.” He says smiling at your interest. 

“Did you ever kill anyone?” You ask, but then immediately regret it, you don’t know if that’s an appropriate question to ask. Johnny just laughs.

“Someone's got to deal with the bad guys.” He says winking. 

“Don’t mean they didn’t fight back. Got a nice fucked up knee to show for it.” Johnny says slapping his left leg. That explains the limp he always has when hes walking. 

“Has John always been your boss?” You ask moving it away from killing people and being shot.

“Price, yeah he was our captain, it just felt right letting him continue to tell us what to do.” Johnny explains, chuckling. You nod listening to him talk about their life in the military, he’s careful not to go too into specifics, but enough for you to understand it seemed like it was quite a dangerous job. Johnny mentioned something about bombs at one point, that’s scary. 

“I bet you travelled a lot though?” You ask finishing your sandwich. 

“Oh yeah! That was one of the perks I guess, been all over the place, met some great people.” Johnny says naming a bunch of countries off. You watch as Simon comes back reversing the van into the bay. He jumps out and heads straight into the store room. That reminded you you needed to ask for the code. Johnny gets up checking his watch and throwing his trash in the bin. 

“Got a delivery to make, I’ll see you later.” He says heading to the stairs. You nod smiling. When you’re done you knock on John’s door before you head downstairs. 

“Come in!” He calls. You go in, for some reason you get this feeling like you’re back at school walking into a teachers office about to ask them for the key to the storage room to get more paper. 

“Hey, how’s it going?” he asks smiling, it almost immediately puts you at ease. 

“Good, I was just wondering, the store room, Johnny showed me yesterday but he didn’t give me the code.” You explain. Price nods his head. 

“You don’t need the code, it’s for the drivers only, it’s where we keep, sensitive equipment.” He explains. You nod feeling heat rush to your cheeks, maybe you should have asked Johnny instead saved yourself the embarrassment of this conversation. 

“Got it, thank you.” You nod leaving the room and closing the door behind you. What kind of sensitive equipment? You hadn’t seen anyone moving anything in or out of there, and you’re pretty sure you saw Simon go in empty handed just now. You’re just more curious then ever. You look down the steps at Simon making his way up with a mug of tea in his hand. You wait until he has reached the top of the stairs before heading down. You smile at him, you can’t tell if he’s smiling back with the mask but you’re assuming he’s not. You make your way back down as he walks into John’s office without knocking. 

The rest of the day seems to go by slower, your mind obsessing over the store room for some reason. It’s like an itch you need to scratch, you find yourself looking over to check it now and again. You get a few of those ‘special request’s’ John warned you about, you try to assign them but it doesn’t work. Clearly the system does not like it so you send them off to John. It’s almost like they’re encrypted, maybe you could figure out how to fix it and stop the system from freezing up every time it happens, a task for next week you think.

Jobs stop coming through around 3 and you spend the last few hours of your shift catching up on the other part of your admin job, then you find yourself cleaning the coffee machine. Johnny and Gaz leave early, apparently this is normal for Friday, you wish them a good weekend as they leave going out the vehicle entrance closing the garage doors behind them. You head to use the bathroom next, as you’re washing your hands you hear the door of the store room beep open and the sound of feet running in and out. You hear it open but you don’t hear it close.

You hold your breath, could it be? It’s open. You’re excited for some reason. You quickly slip out cracking the door. Sure enough the door didn’t fully close it’s stuck on the latch. Your curiosity gets the better of you, you can’t help it. You look round quickly, you don’t see anyone, you don’t hear anyone. You push the door open, it’s dark you can’t see inside. You take a step in and an automatic light flicks on. You gasp as you look around the room. It’s way bigger then you expected, so big there is enough room for a table in the middle. Each part of the wall is covered in weapons, knifes, somethings you don’t even know what they would be but they look scary.

The hairs are standing up on the back of your neck, it’s almost like your fight or flight has kicked in as your eyes widen. There are crates everywhere some open with what look like boxes of ammo. You let out a breath feeling fear rise in you, maybe it was airsoft? You move to look in one of the crates near the entrance. Nope those are real bullets. You shouldn’t have seen this you feel panic rising. This is bad and very illegal. You start to back out the room, slowly you’re trying to be as quiet as possible. Your body hits something, not something someone. You hear a sigh. 

“And what do you think you’re doing?” It’s Simon. You slowly turn his head is tilted to the side his brow creased as his gaze burns into you. Fuck.

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[candycandy00]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you so much for tagging me, @scary-grace! This was a lot of fun!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 

18, though I’ve only posted a fraction of my BNHA stuff on there and there’s even some JJK stuff I haven’t posted there yet. 

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

217,870. And wow it took me way too long to find that lol. I didn’t even know about the Statistics page! 

3. What fandoms do you write for? 

Currently, Jujutsu Kaisen and Boku no Hero Academia. I wrote for a ton of different fandoms back in my “previous era” I’ll call it lol. I wrote for One Piece, Naruto, Final Fantasy (mostly 7 and 12), Death Note, Gundam Wing, Harry Potter, Durarara!!, and lots of other things (almost all of it featuring non canon ships like Cloud x Yuffie and L x Misa). I’d like to try writing for Bungou Stray Dogs and Demon Slayer at some point. 

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Doll House (2,280)

Human (390)

The Offering (377)

How to Seduce a Gamer (300)

Little Miss Nobody (234)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! But sometimes if it’s a comment on an older chapter of something I might not or if I got several close together I miss a few and then I’m too embarrassed to go back and respond later. Or if they just comment with an emoticon, I’m not sure how to reply lol. 

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

In my current era, it’s definitely the Mr. Compress chapter of The Dark Carnival. I have other fics that end badly for Reader but this one felt very tragic to me. 

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? 

Most of mine have pretty happy endings! 

8. Do you get hate on fics? 

Current era, I occasionally get people complaining that certain Readers are wimpy or stupid or whatever. I even had one person on AO3 write out a huge wall of text about how one of my Reader characters was a Mary Sue (they simultaneously complained that she was too weak and useless in a fight but also too perfect). But I tend to shrug off those comments. Readers are supposed to be Mary Sues. They’re literally Reader/Writer self inserts! Part of the appeal of x Reader fanfiction is the fantasy of Reader being an idealized version of yourself. So yeah she can hang out with the League of Villains and be the only girl Dabi has ever liked, or she can be old high school buddies with Gojo and Geto and they’re both crazy about her. It’s all fantasy. 

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 

Yes! And I write pretty much all kinds that don’t involve my three “big no’s” (minors, animals, or scat/pee/vomit). 

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? 

Not since I was a kid, writing Sailor Moon/DBZ crossovers lol. 

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? 

Not in my current era, not that I know of. In my previous era, I wrote a Gundam Wing fanfic that got really popular in the fandom and was ripped off twice. Not exactly copied word for word, but very close in both cases. They basically changed the wording around a bit but kept the entire plot the same (and it was a very unique AU with a big, sprawling plot). 

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

Not that I know of!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 

Like 20+ years ago a friend and I were co-writing a very fucked up DBZ fanfic together. It was actually pretty good, but it was unfortunately lost to time. I’d give anything to find it and be able to read it again, but she’s the one who was posting it and she deleted her account a few years later. 

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? 

I’m just gonna go with my current fave ships of my two main fandoms: BNHA (Spinneraki) and JJK (SatoSugu). 

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? 

Probably The League of Villains Heroes. I love it dearly but it gets practically no notes so I have little motivation to keep working on it. 

16. What are your writing strengths? 

I’ve always felt like dialogue is my strong point. Probably because, until I was up into my 20’s, I rarely read actual books and almost exclusively read comics/manga (which tend to be dialogue heavy). I think I’m pretty decent with plotting as well. 

17. What are your writing weaknesses? 

Descriptions! 😩 I am so bad at describing things. Or rather, I’m bad to just… not do it. I literally forget to. I’ve had friends read my work and be like “what does this place look like?” Or “what does that guy look like?” And I can see it all so clearly in my head that I forget readers can’t see it as well. 

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? 

I sometimes toss in some honorifics just because it seems weird to have certain characters not use them. Other than that, I try to avoid throwing in random Japanese (the only other language I would even consider using, just because these are Japanese characters). I did have Sukuna say his famous “Gambare, gambare” line once but it’s just too iconic! 

19. First fandom you wrote for? 

First I wrote for: Sailor Moon. First I actually posted a fic online for: Dragon Ball Z. 

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? 

I’m going to pick one from each fandom, only among completed fics. 

BNHA: Trending Topics

JJK: The Offering

Tagging @missrosegold and any other writer friends who would like to do this!

[colibrisims]

20 Get to Know me Questions

Name: Julian Sparrow

1. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life? Becoming a successful and well respected investor.

2. Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without? I’d have to pick either my cell phone or my computer.

3. What do you enjoy spending money on? I spare no expense in all areas of my life.

4. What do you wish more people understand about you? That with my esteemed job title, I have worked hard enough that I should never have to deal with disrespect.

5. Tell me your life story in exactly one sentence. I only need two words: hustle, and wealth.

6. What is your guilty pleasure? The sweets that my wife too often bakes.

7. A genie grants you the ability to have infinite amounts of one item. What is it? 💵💵💵, need I say more.

8. What is the most ridiculous thing you believed as a child? Idiotic ideals such as “soulmates” & “true love”.

9. How do you waste time most often? Researching stock markets, learning the trending patterns within stocks; things like that.

10. Do you have a significant other? Yes, my newlywed wife, Esme. Her beautiful looks are a staple to any outfit I don.

11. Do you have kids? Absolutely not. I don’t particularly want them, they will only cause a hindrance to my ambition.

12. Who do you live with? My wife. Oh and I think she has a couple pets.

13. How do you prefer to exercise? I enjoy lifting weights the most.

14. How old are you? 29

15. When is your birthday? September 22nd

16. What is your zodiac sign? I’m not sure what that is. But my wife says I’m a Virgo

17. How tall are you? 6’2”

18. Last text you sent? Who did you send it to? I sent this to my wife: “on my way home from work, please make sure you’ve finished cleaning before I get there, I have a headache and I won’t stand to listen to that vacuum.”

19. Do you use simstagram? Not for personal use. I do run my investment firm’s business page though.

20. Do you have any hobbies? When I have time, I work out. Sometimes I enjoy watching Sportsnet on TV.

Here is y’all intro to Julian Sparrow! As you may be able to see, he is a very egocentric and arrogant man. He can be very romantic, which was his wife, Esme’s original lure to him. His abundance in wealth creates the illusion that he “takes good care” of his wife. This is why she can be perceived as spoiled. But truth is, Esme is nothing but an ornament to him..

DISCLAIMER!!!!!!

This sim was originally created by @neecxle and downloaded from her gallery page.

[cipherdoesshit]

Alright, sorry for long post, I'll be answering every single question here...

1. Default, I only format after writing the whole thing.

2. Nothing can stop me from writing smut, so yeah, 6000 word chapter about my OCs coming up, now illegible in my own handwriting :P

3. Alright, in steps now:

1. go to sleep

2. wake up

3. ???

4. STORY WRITTEN!!

4. Lithe /pos (I will do anything to be called lithe)

5. None, actually, I just write

6. That I create a plot hole which would make me have to rewrite the entire chapter

7. Being able to write about anything in any amount of detail I can... even the NSFW stuff

8. Action, because dialogue is not often indicative of what happens and we can have a compelling smut written without a single word spoken.

9. No, but I sometimes hope that they could be real. I don't have stories on ghosts tho

10. OH YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE... I published one of my first smut things on Wattpad and then I forgot the password to the account, now I just hope it doesn't become popular... BECAUSE IT'S ABOUT FUCKING POKEMON RGAHGAHGHG

11. I kill who I have to kill. I still believe in plot armour for the main characters, but otherwise everyone is vulnerable.

12. Be able to write every thought in my brain exactly how I imagine it; Translation abilities into every language on Earth and beyond; Have every piece I write become popular very quickly, but not immediately.

13. Many things are easy, but I suppose physical descriptions of people are still kinda hard. I really enjoy writing action and environment tho.

14. I literally don't have any books................... or IRL friends...........................................

15. Writing in the margins of your book is a pretty good way of annotation, but I prefer those little colourful stick-it notes. Dog-earing is disgusting, but I won't judge if it's an addiction or habit or stim that you have. But please don't read in the bath. Just... no. Your book slips and it's over.

16. A stick. It had tree sap on it and got stuck to the page.

17. [TEXT EXPUNGED, LENGTH EXCEEDED 10^51 CHARACTERS, EXCLUDING SPACES]

18. I dunno, there's nothing really notable yet.

19. I started about when I was 14 or 15, I woke up from a wet dream and wanted to write smut SO BAD. So I did (yes, the Pokemon one). Wrote about 3000 words in one night in one chapter. Wrote two more chapters the next day, each also about 3000 words, because it was the weekend. And I didn't stop since. Learned to draw, made some OCs, attached a story, and now I want to write that. Nothing notable.

20. I don't have WIPs, I often wait for enough inspiration to last me through the entire thing.

21. I could definitely quit writing. But I won't. There's always something to write about.

22. Google Drive, just create a new Google doc, but name it properly so I can look for it easily. I don't organise it. At all. Just a mishmash of google docs in the home page of my google drive...

23. I... think I'll skip because it'd get too long.

24. None. Nope. Writing idea pops up and I write for multiple hours. Somehow, the story makes sense and has almost no plot holes.

25. I won't because I'd get into some VERY NSFW topics about furries.........

26. I basically become my character. My imagination is incredible, so I can basically act EXACTLY like my characters. I often imagine entire conversations between me and my OCs, all of them IN CHARACTER.

27. A dragon that is a drug dealer in a fantasy world, traumatised from war... If I ever release what I write, it'll make sense.

28. A custom species girl that got traumatised because of her name... Once again, it'll make sense if people read my story once I release it.

29. Song. All of them. No, not anything classical. Not Weezer. Not Lemon Demon. No pop. No rock. No pop rock. No J-pop. No K-pop. None of that shit. I will listen to Japanese speedcore, hardcore, hardstyle, extratone, frenchcore, neurofunk, etc., often of the symphonic variant, and take my inspiration from there.

30. Wet dreams. Otherwise my ideas come from waking moments.

31. I have no readers.

32. I don't read almost at all, so there's that. Yes, I write without reading anything...

33. Drawing. I design my characters to have a better picture of how they look so descriptions in my writing are much more accurate.

34. YES, usage of it is important. Beautiful distinction. Use it if you can. If you don't, have fun with eating turkey and your family and dog.

35. None. I don't even know any rules from the top of my mind. If I read some rule that makes sense, I incorporate it into my ways of writing and continue.

36. LINGUISTICS. And economy and biology... And I want to know about the military.

37. That I was a horny motherfucker...

38. No editing. None at all. I write something and keep it that way. The first draft IS the final draft.

39. A two month break.

40.

A Copper Sword Instead of a Bouquet of Flowers

Holding a copper sword in my hand,

I wonder where the copper came from,

How it moved from hand to hand,

And what I am in its ultimate form.

There were buyers, miners, forgers,

All the people you could think.

But I know none of those corners,

Of the circle of life of this thing.

But other people think the same about me,

We’re all the same in the eyes of the sword,

This copper sword now suddenly,

Has now the ultimate say in the word.

I’m nothing more than just a passing,

I’m not even a blink of a pair of eyes.

For this sword has only been born,

And is awaiting its ultimate demise.

I feel cold, really cold,

So I hold the sword to protect me.

Maybe if I take it into the afterlife,

Nothing will really affect me.

I should just focus on killing my enemies,

Yet I can’t help but think,

How this fact happens with everything,

Even in the best of families.

Everything is left behind one day,

No one can stay behind forever.

But now I can’t forget,

The day I rest in the eyes of my daughter.

Weird Questions for Writers (because writers are weird)

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

2. If you had to give up your keyboard and write your stories exclusively by hand, could you do it? If you already write everything by hand, a) are you a wizard and b) pen or pencil?

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true?

6. What is your darkest fear about writing?

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

8. If you had to write an entire story without either action or dialogue, which would you choose and how would it go?

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

14. Do you lend your books to people? Are people scared to borrow books from you? Do you know exactly where all your “lost” books are and which specific friend from school you haven’t seen in twelve years still possesses them? Will you ever get them back?

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

16. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever used as a bookmark?

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

20. If a witch offered you the choice between eternal happiness with your one true love and the ability to finally finish, perfect, and publish your dearest, darlingest, most precious WIP in exactly the way you've always imagined it — which would you choose? You can’t have both sorry, life’s a bitch

21. Could you ever quit writing? Do you ever wish you could? Why or why not?

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

23. Describe the physical environment in which you write. Be as detailed as possible. Tell me what’s around you as you work. Paint me a picture.

24. How much prep work do you put into your stories? What does that look like for you? Do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it?

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

28. Who is the most delightful character you’ve ever written? Why?

29. Where do you draw your inspiration? What do you do when the inspiration well runs dry?

30. Talk to me about the role dreams play in your writing life. Have you ever used material from your dreams in your writing? Have you ever written in a dream? Did you remember it when you woke up?

31. Write a short love letter to your readers.

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

33. Do you practice any other art besides writing? Does that art ever tie into your writing, or is it entirely separate?

34. Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go:

35. What’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens?

36. They say to Write What You Know. Setting aside for a moment the fact that this is terrible advice...what do you Know?

37. If you were to be remembered only by the words you’ve put on the page, what would future historians think of you?

38. What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share. If you’re not comfortable, what do you think cats say about us?

39. What keeps you writing when you feel like giving up?

40. Please share a poem with me, I need it.

[9223372036854775808-1]

6 Nov 2023A.D. 08:55

???, ???

Q: WTF is this irrelevant title?

A: This title has absolutely nothing to do with the contents of this project. I came up with it in less than 1sec. In case you’re interested in its origins, it’s originally the title of a song.

Q: Why you write like a primary school kid?

A: English is not my first language. I very bad at grammer and speling. All of my work lacks emotion and I myself don’t expect anyone to enjoy it.

Q: Why even bother to write this?

A: I desperately need to make some internet friends that are yuri fans or like writing random stuff or are cool fandom dwellers or JUST ABOUT ANY RANDOM PEOPLE because I’m a total failure at socializing irl so please please please please PLEASE follow me

Q: Are these childish stories going to go on forever?

A: This is a (hopefully but clearly impossible) long-term project.

Q: Why like 90% of your words are nonsense and only 10% are even related to the storyline?

A: I add a lot of random thoughts that just pop up in my mind into my stories and sometimes they aren’t even random thoughts but only nonsense to fill the page. also I just NEED to include some wholesome yuriful moments for my mental sanity while writing

Q: WTF does this have to do with multiple universes/timelines?

A: When I am writing this for a while it will probably be all AUs and no original settings

Q: When/Where is the story set?

A: Imaginary city equivalent to Melbourne; imaginary time equivalent to 10-20s

Q: So why is October in Melbourne Autumn?

A: Never mind. In this world Australia or whatever its equivalent is is in the northern hemisphere.

Q: Why write yuri?

A: I’m a (not exactly) huge yuri fan and I’m looking for other yuri fans to randomly chat with or something, though I’m not really experienced in the theme of yuri and related topics. Those who do not accept yuri/lesbian/gl culture should proceed at their own risk.

Q: Will it be painful to read?

A: I will try my best to make it not be.

Q: I’m underage. Is it ok for me to read this stuff?

A: I think this should be R15 or something but nevermind.

Q: Can I repost the stuff that you wrote?

A: Yes but try not to. You need to indicate that I wrote this when reposting. It is encouraged to just use a link instead.

Q: So who TF are you?

A: I’m a straight cis male.

Q: I have some questions/I wanna chat with the author

A: Text me or use the askbox. Both Chinese and English are ok.

Q: When will the next update be?

A: This updates weekly (or at least I’ll try to)

[lunaxriax]

Evens for Jaehwan.

distract me pls

2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

No, I don't. And I probably never will.

4: What’s something you really want right now?

A drink.

6: Do you like the beach?

Yes, I do. Go there frequently for walks.

8: What’s the background on your cell?

A sunset.

10: Do you like your phone?

It's decent enough for its purpose, so yeah.

12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

It was yours, buddy!

14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

Emotional pain.

16: Are you tired?

Always am. I think I was born tired.

18: Are they a relative?

It's in relation to the previous question, but yes that person is a relative.

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

That was a while back.

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Not entirely sure about that one.

24: Is there a certain quote you live by?

"Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve."

26: Do you have any tattoos?

Nope.

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

I don't know?

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

I think so. Well it was either a couch or a bed, same thing.

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

Friend is a big word, but I'd say yes.

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

Yes, although I still don't know why.

36: Were you single on Valentines Day?

Yes.

38: What do your friends call you?

Jaehwan, Jae, Jae Jae and a bunch of other insults

40: Have you ever cried over a text?

Not really. I don't cry easily.

42: What is it from?

I don't really get bruises... perks of being dead, I guess.

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

A friend.

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

No, I don't care about bad hair day. Somehow my hair still looks fine on those days.

48: Do you make supper for your family?

Considering I don't live with my family... nope.

50: Top 3 web-pages?

YouTube, Google, Instagram

52: Does anything on your body hurt?

My head.

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

Coffee.

56: What do you usually do first in the morning?

Go to the gym.

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?

I'm pretty sure I was since I was... 10 xD

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?

Oh I don't know about that... I'm not exactly the biggest fan of those things.

62: When will be the next time you text someone?

How about I text you, Drake? xD

64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.

Sobering up.

66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

Does my cat count?

68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

I haven't slept yet but I had many wild thoughts. Mostly ridiculous drunk thoughts that made no sense at all.

70: How many windows are open on your computer?

One. This one xD

72: What is your ringtone?

Random standard one.

74: Where is your Mum right now?

She's dead.

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

No.

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

Probably on no one. I didn't start having crushes on people until I was well over 20.

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

When I was a kid, plenty of times.

82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

Me, I did. That counts, right?

84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

Ok first of all, that's not something I would do because it's caveman behavior and I dislike that and if one of my friends would do that I would so smack the shit out of them.

86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

I... don't go see movies... Too many people. I watch them at home.

88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

No.

90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?

A few times, unfortunately.

92: Do you get along with girls?

I think so? I mean, I don't really get along with people in general, so...

94: Does sex mean love?

Nope.

96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

Not that I can recall.

98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

You shouldn't let your happiness depend on someone else. If you do, your happiness can be taken away in an instant.

100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise?

Probably someone from my childhood, I think.

[ryuu-to-sobakasu-hime]

Ryuu to Sobakasu no Hime (Belle) Novel | English Translation | Chapter 6

**This is a machine translation. I put it together by extracting text page-by-page from a .pdf version of the Japanese novel, and running it through Google translate. I have only minorly edited some of the more confusing lines to make it more read-able. It is still a very rough translation, but it’s good enough to understand what’s going on. If there is anyone out there who wants to properly translate the novel, I am more than happy to edit it, if you’ll contact me.**

———————————————

Chapter 6: Encounter

The crescent moon shining on the equator moves and brings darkness to the world of "U". In the city of "U" that continues like a big river, Az and others were overflowing more than usual today. There is a mysterious feeling of exhilaration here and there, and it seems that everyone is restless. Countless net news is broadcast in various languages. "... Soon, at 20:25 standard time on 'U', Belle's biggest live concert will take place here at 'U's spherical stadium."

The city of "U" is basically a "skyscraper" and a "park."

It consists of repeating two types of modules, "(Park)". However, there are some other special modules. One of them is a spherical module called "Stadium". "..... The number of Az that can watch at the same time in the world is said to be 100 million or 200 million, which is unusual for a newcomer who appeared within 6 months ..."

As you approach the spherical stadium, you can see that many small units are gathered together to form a sphere. It passes through the gaps of each unit and enters the inside. Each unit has multiple windows. The shape of the window matches the shape of the screen of the smartphone, and you can see Az in it. That is the audience seat of this spherical stadium.

A myriad of Az are waiting for the start of the live. The start time has come. The space of the wide sphere gradually darkens with the driving sound. The units are getting closer to each other and the gap is narrowing. Eventually, a roaring sound was heard. The gap between the units was completely closed, and the space was surrounded by darkness. A red line like the equator emerges in the darkness. It's the beginning of the live. Music starts. A huge drop of water can be seen floating in the center of the space. In front of this mysterious sight, the audience grabbed a sight of what was about to begin.

The huge water droplets began to emit light from the inside, shaking the surface with surface tension. A number of glittering lights are generated and are stored in water droplets. Eventually, the water droplets filled with light burst like a big bang. When a large amount of droplets diffuse into the space, a mysterious object that reflects light appears behind it. A huge splash with a dozen meters, assembled from delicate beads.

At the tip of the dress is Belle, me.

"Woooooooooo ...!"

The cheers of Az and others like the rumbling of the ground boiled up. Mosaic-like light is emitted from the countless windows of the audience seats. In response to the light, the color of the beads that make up the dress changes in a complex way. These are special beads whose brilliance changes depending on the light. It's the best outfit, coordinated by the best designers, from headdresses to high heels. I swam in the space, changing to various colors in response to the light. The parts of the huge dress are separated like a multi-stage rocket. In the meantime, it will be separated. The beads swirled like the swell of the sea, transforming into a virtual fluctuation of the sea surface.

Three whales with headphones appear there and slowly snuggle up to me in the center. The whales are top-notch dancers hired for this concert. When one of the whales hits the surface of the sea with its tail fin to the music, a beautiful wave appears. The crest has spread. Another one also hits the surface of the sea. The ripples overlapped. The other one blew up the tide from his nose. Next is my turn. Like the whale I mentioned earlier, I surrendered myself to music, twisted my body, and hit the surface of the sea. Ripples spread beautifully. I twist my body again and hit the surface of the sea, ripples piled up. And, like the squirting of a baby whale, I rushed out of the sea. The whales come in again and swim and dance in the calculated combination. I sing at the center. The sparkling flash of the audience seats reaches the dress, changing the color of the beads one after another. What a beauty. The colors that would never appear without each of the light from the windows of smartphones are a collaboration between me, the designer, and the audience. And again, it's a one-time art that can never be reproduced in the digital world where reproduction is natural. I finished singing proudly.

"Ooooooooooooooooo!"

The roaring cheers of Az and others shook the spherical stadium. The flashes in the audience seats disappear all at once, returning to the darkness of the equator. The prelude of the second song begins, and the next set of graphical steel frames slides from above and below. During the blackout, the producer of this live, Hiro-chan’s Az, slipped in.

"Belle is the best. I'll go next."

"Yes."

Hiro-chan’s Az threw a piece of cloth in her hand. It fluttered around my body and turned into a patchwork dress. This is also the work of the same designer as the bead dress, and is woven with fibers that change when exposed to light. Suddenly, there was a strange noise.

"ah…"

The gap between the rugged stadium and the spherical stadium opens a little.

"Who? You opened the door without permission!" Hiro-chan’s Az yells.

Someone invaded through a small gap in the unit. A lone Az at the beginning.

And then a group of Az. They are moving at high speed just past the audience unit. I can tell that the audience in the window is upset by this happening.

Hiro-chan’s Az is very angry. "Get out of here, asshole!”

The lone Az appears to be escaping from the group chasing him.

"Is he being chased?"

They go around the perimeter along the equator of the spherical stadium. The group of chasers was divided into two.

"Jeeze! What is that guy?" Hiro-chan’s Az looks up in the air and asks. Avatars all over the world instantly raise chat balloons:

《Dreki》

《Long》 《continuar》 《naga》 《Dragon》 《lass》

《Ejderha》

"Dragon?"

<<It's an ugly monster-type Az that lives in “U.”>>

Two protruding horns. Long nose. Sharp fangs and claws. The characteristic is exactly the dragon itself, and the impression is like a violent beast. Still, the crimson cloak with a raised collar and the white frills peeking through the sleeves of the suit reminded me of something like a nobleman. A mysterious balance in which this opposite nature coexists. The thin, sharp look that I could see in the gaps between his long, curly hair seemed mysterious to me. On the other hand, all his chasers have the unified appearance of a white battle suit with a red line. It looks like a group of justice heroes. The dragon flipped the cloak and I thought that he had soared, but then he twisted and plummeted. With a tricky move, he tossed the chase and swung it off in a blink of an eye, and this time he headed for the other group, which was split into two. Really. The stone mask Az, who leads the fist chaser group, thrusts in without fear. The two collided violently at the front. A fierce spark is scattered. The dragon extended his fist at a speed that my eyes couldn't follow. The chasers flew like pebbles. As it was, it emitted light like glitter and ice crystals, and stopped moving. The data was corrupted by too much blow and it froze.

I watched the dragon in a daze.

"Amazing…"

"What is he?" When Hiro-chan’s Az asked, the balloons answered immediately.

<<A few months ago, he suddenly appeared in the martial arts hall of "U" "He’s been breaking the record of consecutive wins since then" "But he has the worst fighting style">>

"How?"

When Ryu landed on the unit on the wall and turned around, he attacked the other group that he had just shaken off. He does not give them a chance to escape, and defeats them one after another with a quick move. Iconography of crystals, showing freezes, floats here and there.

《Spoil the game》 《Attack until the data is corrupted and unusable》 《It's like trying to get rid of my anger》 I was stunned and stared at the dragon without words.

"Ah..”

I noticed a lot of patterns on his tattered back.

"That is……?"

<< This is a nasty guy who is like the bruises on his back >> Adds a balloon. I saw it to make sure.

"There are so many bruises ..."

The group of chasers is increasing in number before I know it. When the Az of the dreadlocks led by him points to go, more than 10 members scream and head for Dragon all at once. It is one versus ten, but he heads for the fight without hesitation. The dragon rolled out his knife at a blazing speed. The chasers are beaten one after another.

"Waaaaaah!”

Even the last one - bang, smashed down in a breath. The dreadlocks Az was shocked to see that his allies were wiped out in an instant. While making a strange voice, "Woooooo!", He headed for the dragon in the dark clouds. However, immediately after that, Dragon knee-kicked him in the face. Then the upper combo is decided. The dreadlocks Az was blown off.

Hiro-chan’s Az listens with interest. "Who is chasing him?"

《The Justices》

"Justice?"

<<They insist on keeping the justice and order of U.>>

There are Az looking down from a distance. Like the Stone Mask Az and Dreadlocks Az, they were the executives of the Justice Corps. They are strong people who seem to be allies of justice. Half are female. Hiro-chan’s Az made a convincing voice when she saw them.

"Hmm. That's why they look like heroes."

A large number of the justice corps surround the dragon with various weapons such as spears, hammers, and blue swords. The members screamed and attacked all at once. It seems that there is no chance for the dragon to win. The dragon slowly crossed his hands. And he slashed the space at a tremendous speed. He slashed the men as if he were really manipulating a sword. A dense army corps bursts out all at once. "Waaaah!”

At the same time, it gave off a glittering and crystal-like light. The overwhelming strength of the crowd is breathtaking. The dragon turned his back and slowly got up. Justice corps executives were stunned and said, "What a terrible thing ...!"

"What can they do if you hurt them that much?"

"Is it okay that you’re the only one who is not wounded?” With that as a trigger, some spectator Az and others booed.

"That's right!" "You messed up Belle's concert!" "How will you take responsibility?” The voices eventually spread throughout the spherical stadium.

"Apologize to Belle!" "Give us back the time you wasted!" "Get out of here!" "Get out!" I looked around the stadium in a kind of strange atmosphere. Most of the Az on the spot are throwing a fierce boo like a rumbling at just one person. A dragon standing alone in the center. The bruise on his back seemed to me like a wound that had been hit by countless boos. I asked him unintentionally.

"You…"

The dragon turned around slowly and looked at me with a keen eye.

[............]

"Who are you..…?"

I asked unquestioned questions at will. Then the dragon opened his mouth for the first time. It was a muffled voice, like a filter.

"...Don’t look.”

"Huh?"

"Don’t look at me."

The dragon's gaze peeking through his curly hair indicates refusal. I can't hear any more.

At that time, there was a sharp voice that echoed in the spherical stadium.

“Dragon!!”

A man is standing. "I can't forgive you anymore ... I can't forgive you! If I don't defeat the dragon, I can't keep the peace of 'U'!"

"Is that the leader?" Asked Hiro-chan’s Az.

<<Yes. He is Justine>>

It was a blue-eyed Az with blonde hair. His toned, muscular, majestic body reminded me of strength and courage, and the white battle suit that wrapped around him represented his noble personality. He deserves to be called a hero, a mighty man, an ally of justice, a savior.

Justine raised his right arm and pointed to the coat of arms on his wrist. "Look!"

The Metamorphose coat of arms was wrapped in light and became huge, transforming into a winged metal lion head. A jewel-like lens body pops out from the lion's mouth by bolt action. It's like a cannon. Justine raises the gun and shows it off.

"This is the true light that protects the justice and order of 'U'! We will definitely unveil the evil dragon!" He declared in a voice that pervaded the entire "U". Then, banners with the names of the companies came flying one after another and piled up behind him. It seems that these supporting companies support his activities. Hiro-chan’s Az pointed with her eyes rounded.

"Look, the number of sponsor logos!"

"What is Unveil?"

To my question, Hiro-chan’s Az answered "Unveil" with the gesture of Peek-a-boo. Justine holds his right hand to aim at him, and the inside of his lens body shimmers like a mosaic. The particles focused and emitted a green light. Pow! The light cut through the darkness and headed straight toward the dragon. The dragon barely avoids the light. The particles focused again on Justine's right hand and fired two shots in quick succession. The dragon kept a sufficient distance and avoided it carefully. It seems that he is very cautious about this unknown light. "Nuu ..." Justin groaned, lowering his right hand. A long, thin light that moves far away. There is too much distance to hit Dragon.

He signaled, "Door!" In response, the justice executives scattered in all directions. Soon, the gap between the unit and the unit begins to move, and the interval narrows.

"Eh ...?" As it goes on, the brightness disappears. The spherical stadium was engulfed in darkness, with a completely closed sound. Many searchlights owned by the executives turned on all at once. It illuminates a dragon at one point in the center of intersection.

"You can't run away anymore, dragon! I'll uncover your origin right here, you ugly thing!"

Justine's speech wowed the audience.

"Ooooooooooo!"

The field is in full favor of Justine. Hiro-chan’s Az also goes along.

"Good, do it ~~!"

Origin? Uncover? Can he do that? I wondered. Justine said earlier, "The true light that protects the justice and order of 'U'(that green light) will surely unveil the evil dragon." The meaning may be "to clarify who the real person who controls the dragon is.” It means that there is no privacy that should be equally protected by the security of "U". I understood that was what he meant by "unveiling." If it's aimed at the dragon, which is hated by all over the world, everyone will be convinced it’s the right thing to do. But what if I was in his position?

Then, the story is different. I don't want to be unveiled. Anyone wouldn’t. Shouldn't that be the case? Shouldn't security equality be maintained? Executives approach the dragon with a searchlight. The dragon blocks the light with his hands, as if he hates the dazzling lights. However, the executives continue to shine a strong light without mercy. The dragon moves because of the glare, looks like he can't get rid of it. Justine aims carefully from a distance. The searchlight is caught. It seems very easy to shed light on the dragon that has stopped moving. Kuun ……, and the inside of the gun lens shines brilliantly, and the light is focused.

"Get him!!” Hiro-chan’s Az screams with excitement. Next to that, I kept staring at the dragon.

[.............]

The dragon looked up at me as if he had noticed me. His eyes met mine and my heart pulsated.

"Huh?"

From the narrow center of the searchlight, the dragon jumped towards us. The search light suddenly loses sight of the dragon and sways in a confused manner.

"Uh!"

Once Justine lowered his gun in the situation, but quickly repositioned it, he fired two consecutive shots. However, passing through it, the dragon rises at high speed and heads straight toward us.

"Ahhhhh!"

I and Hiro-chan’s Az are upset by the oppressive feeling and cannot move. The dragon approaches at a tremendous speed. Collide!

"Kyaaaa!" We screamed. But the dragon barely slipped beside us. A violent gust of wind occurs with a slight delay. The dragon rose as it was, turned around, and landed on the steel frame of the set. Hiro-chan’s Az was angry and looked up. "You’ve got to be kidding me, you idiot! What if Belle had been injured?"

Dragon approaches us again. "Ah!" The dragon rubbed right next to Hiro-chan’s Az and I, who were shrinking tightly, at a tremendous speed. His goal is the executives of the Justice Corps.

"Waaaaah!” The executives screamed, throwing out searchlights and escaping in all directions. As soon as the dragon did not let them escape, he swung a steel frame over his head and approached.

The light of the searchlight went out, and the area was surrounded by darkness again.

Only the cruel hitting sound and the painful screams of the executives echoed there. What's happening in the dark? Invisible horror dominated the field. Justine shouted, unbearably. "Open the door ..., open the door!"

A gap in the spherical stadium opens to follow the instructions. When it got brighter, I saw the sad appearance of the executives who were knocked down and couldn't move. How many Az did the dragon beat in this short time? It was overwhelming and strong. Justine stepped back, stiffening his face.

"This ... this shouldn't be allowed ...!"

The dragon flew with recoil when he released the steel frame he had in his hand. I look up at him with my eyes. Justine shouted to swear revenge.

"I will be sure to unveil you!"

As if he couldn't hear such a voice, the dragon went out of the stadium through the gap between the units on the ceiling and disappeared somewhere. I kept looking at the empty space where he had disappeared into.

"Who are you……?"

-------------------

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Dcx2NedPVBEdbfQaU-WC0pJMRmn20ASn7HSC0KY9R7E/edit?usp=sharing ~ Google Doc of the English-translated novel.

ryuutosobakasuhime.wordpress.com ~ English fan-site for Ryuu to Sobakasu no Hime where translations, scans, and other content is posted.

[neverdoingmuch]

now hear me out,,, an au where lan wangji is an editor who works for an erotica publisher and wei wuxian is essentially chuck tingle. (also lwj writes romance novels on the side)

wei wuxian didn’t plan to write erotica he wants to make that really clear, he was actually studying like biomed or something equally “oh wow my parents can brag to the other parents about this”

but, as frequently happens in wwx’s life, he got drunk with nhs, like really drunk and they woke up the next morning with a laptop on the floor beside them and loose paper strewn everywhere

they don’t really remember what they were doing or thinking last night but they’ve both drawn a bunch of really shitty and weird porn (the less said about the anthropomorphic version of wen chao’s pet turtle the better) and wei wuxian has like 20,000 words of an erotica story on his laptop

when he starts reading it, at first he’s like haha what the fuck this is so weird but then it turned out to be really good??? and nhs blushed at some of the ~sexy~ scenes so that’s how wwx knew he was writing the good stuff

anyway they’re sitting there, eating their hangover food and wei wuxian goes so uh my story was good right? and nhs is like yeah it was, top stuff i would buy it and wei wuxian goes what if i actually wrote it,,, haha just kidding,,,,, unless?

and in his defence he doesn’t actually write anything for the story for another like three months but then he finds himself in the middle of exam season and he’s like fuck it stress relief let’s write some erotica

he finishes the book and his exams (which he does well in but whatever) and then spends his summer holidays editing the book

when he comes back, he slaps down a paper copy on nhs’ desk and is like i finished it. nhs, thinking he meant his latest lab write up, opens it up to a random page and starts reading it out loud which was a Mistake

he trails off mid-sentence, and whips around to glare at wwx with all the wrath he can muster. it’s raunchy nhs says and just read it wwx tells him so nhs does

like 2 hours later nhs turns to him and says if it wasnt for you and the librarian staring at me the whole time i definitely would’ve felt something and wwx is like so it’s good? and nhs is like fuck yeah it is but i dont get what you want from me?

pretty much wwx passed out after exams, slept for like 20 hours and then woke up and went i should publish this and decided that nhs should draw the cover art.

nhs agrees of course and a month later wwx self-publishes bc there’s no way he can walk into a publishing house with his porn and not just combust on the spot and he decides to go by the name yiling patriarch

wwx clicks the final button to upload the fic and nhs just toasts him and goes yknow what,, this is the closest you’ve ever gotten to having sex and i’m proud of you

wei wuxian is the man who guarded his first kiss for the first twenty years of his life for someone special,,,, wwx definitely wants his first time to be special and there’s no way he’s putting out for someone he doesn’t think is important & despite having dated before, he’s never gotten close enough to someone to go yeah let’s do it so our boy is still a virgin

so wwx’s entire erotica writing inspiration comes from porn, nhs’ way too in-depth answers as to how his latest date went and uh more porn

wwx blusters about a bit bc how is he meant to respond to that and nhs is like maybe you’ll finally move on from reading those trashy romance novels and read something more exciting and wwx is like how dare you call them trashy!! hanguang-jun is a master of the romance novels!! he understands the heart in a way that no other person has ever!! 

and nhs just chugs a bunch of wine and is like yeah hon okay, do you still blush when the main characters hold hands? and wwx is like no! of course not! (it’s a lie, he blushes a lot)

so nothing really happens with the book at first and wwx forgets about it for the most part but then he wakes up one morning and he’s got an extra like RMB 1000 (i dont actually know much about currency so it’s roughly $200 if my quick interneting is legit)

wwx is like wtf? and once he finds out it’s from his novel he’s doubly like wtf? but then he finds out that someone had purchased his book and did a dramatic reading on youtube bc wwx decided that regular erotica was boring and decided to make it satirical or whatever and people loved it??

he’s got nothing better to do so he just goes hm yeah remember that Author i dated who had an “incredible idea that would absolutely amaze The Critics and helped explore his own convoluted mind” let’s make something of that and he writes another book kinda mocking that idea in a very horny way.

he publishes it and someone writes a review of his two books on their blog and now he’s actually starting to get popular - he’s got more money from those two books than he did by working at the local cafe for the whole week

wwx is poor and broke and semi-disowned anyway by this point so he goes fuck it and spends every moment he’s not studying writing erotica. 

he publishes another like five books by the time the year is out (i know the maths isnt working here but this is a book world where wwx can just do that via the power of loneliness and friends who egg you on)

also?? he varies his books. some of them are porn parody things a la chuck tingle and some of them are genuine porn and one book was just him writing a recipe book but making it sound as horny as possible

by the time he’s published his like 8th book or so he starts getting reviews that are critiquing his book and most of them boil down to the fact that he needs an editor or something 

he ends up asking nhs for help and he’s like oh sweet my brother’s boyfriend works for a publisher who does that sort of thing

cloud recesses actually specialises in erotica and i hate the idea that lqr has spent years reading and editing erotica but sacrifices must be made

(side note that i know nothing about the writing or publishing process so pls don’t judge me too harshly)

wwx goes in with his latest manuscript and ends up arriving like ten minutes late, he rushes into the room sweaty and hot, takes one look at the guy sitting on the other side of the desk, flushes an even brighter red and runs back out of the room. he checks the plaque on the door and walks back in slowly and goes hm i didnt expect you to be so hot

cue lan wangji

lwj has always enjoyed being an editor. what do editor do specifically? idk? edit? regardless, he enjoys it. 

while most of the time he’s happy working from this side of things he also likes writing

lwj fucks. he deserves it tbh. but, while he’s had a tonne of one night stands and fuckbuddies, he’s never actually dated someone. so the fact that he’s writing romance novels under the pseudonym hanguang-jun makes his friend jzx laugh a lot

he tried writing porn once and he just couldn’t do it. it was always too clinical or vague and lacked any actual passion bc he was always going oh okay mc sucks a dick but the guy i slept with last week was like a 6.4/10 when it came to sucking dick so maybe mc should also be bad at it or whatever and it just ends up falling apart,,,, but romance he can do

as an editor lwj has pretty high standards for good erotica but he’s really found himself enjoying yiling patriarch’s work even though he’s clearly just been editing himself so when the guy sent cloud recesses an email asking whether they’d be interested in his latest book lwj was ecstatic. 

he also didnt expect wwx to be so hot

anyway,,, we now get to enjoy a week of lwj thinking that wwx is super hot but even more annoying and then him deciding that annoying is hot and now wwx is just absolutely amazing and wwx is just panicking the entire time 

i want my publisher to rail me so hard wwx texts nhs and nhs just responds has he read the bdsm scene with the alien who has a tentacle dick and a knot yet? and wwx is like no??? nhs just goes shame, it will give him so ideas for if you ever grow a backbone and just ask him out

they publish one book together and nothing happened between them the entire time other than yearning and horniness,, of the heart and body. 

when wwx realises this means that he won’t get to see lwj again he immediately writes a new book and like a month later he’s back in lwj’s office, lying on his couch while whining about the cafeteria prices at university

lwj is very enamoured by the fact that wwx is writing erotica and studying biomed bc wow

they do this for like another three books and wwx’s eroticas evolve from here’s a dinosaur man fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on to be like here’s a dinosaur man with black hair and golden eyes and a stern look to his face fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on

and hanguang-jun’s latest book?? i dont want to say that this au’s version of wangxian is hanguang-jun finally finding inspiration to write porn (his muse is wwx of course) and writing the most amazing porn with feelings and plot novel ever,, but it is. 

wwx read it five times in the first week and when nhs finally tried to read it he was like uhhh wwx are you a narcissist, the love interest is exactly like you? and wwx is like ??? no???? he’s nothing like me??

anyway one day wwx gets called into lxc’s office and lxc is like so i’ve read your latest book (not the dinosaur man, a serious one with like normal people and not overly humorous thank fuck but still full of lwj yearning) and wwx is like okay? and lxc goes yes, see i was worried that you didn’t care very much for my brother but after reading your book i’m not so sure and wwx gets the weirdest shovel talk ever which is interspersed with like compliments for his porn writing skills

anyway lxc accidentally mentions that lwj writes books too and before he can take it back wwx is like who??? and lxc is like are you fucking stupid?? you told lwj to his face that you loved his books,,, he broke his theme of tender romance to write kinky sex with a character that’s a lot like you and wwx is like .,,,,,,,,, hanguang-jun??? HANGUANG-JUN???!!

lxc barely manages to confirm it before wwx is sprinting out of his office and across to find lwj.

regretfully for everyone else, lwj is in the lobby so thirty people get to hear it when wwx comes in and shouts LAN ZHAN!! back then, i really wanted write porn about you! ... i think i have actually? but i want to write porn about you and i want to be able to do the research to make it accurate! and i also want to go on dates and hold hands and feed each other food! and i love you a lot! 

lwj is dying inside bc his brother’s bf is there, his uncle is currently waiting for the elevators and a whole bunch of staff are also there but also wwx likes him??? dinosaur man was lwj??

he goes over and they make out for a really long time right there in the middle of the lobby but no one wants to get between them when they’ve been pining for so long

after that they start dating and they do all the romantic stuff but also,, let’s just say that the next book wwx publishes is a lot more creative than all of his previous books

and they become some writing power couple with horniness of the heart and body and sometimes wwx will be like hey lwj i don’t really know how the logistics of this sex scene will work and lwj will be like we could try it out ourselves? and wwx just pats him on the head and is like im sorry but you dont have enough dicks for it to work ),: better luck next time

[its-a-novelist-girl]

Never Have I Ever

Chapter Two

Chapter One 

Summary: A virgin, 20-year-old Damian with too many trust issues to let a girl get too close is constantly teased by his brothers for spending so much time with his female best friend, Y/N. During a game of never have I ever, Y/n is shocked to find that her incredibly good looking best friend has never had more than a brief kiss. Y/n starts to think and she might have a proposition that Damian can’t say no to.

(Disclaimer/Notes): I own nothing of DC characters. This will be partly comic cannon and partly my own. I have never posted like this on here so please be patient with me as I learn.

(Tags): @theyellowfeverexperience​, @ginevraxrogers​, @lilsxtan​, @idkmanicantenglish​, I’m sorry if I missed anyone!

This is a filler chapter before we get into the good stuff. Also did anyone catch who Damian's phone service provider is? And what it could possibly stand for? Hope you enjoy!

You woke up the next morning to a text from Damian that said he wanted to meet at a local coffee shop to talk. You had to admit you were nervous as hell as you wondered what Damian would say. You texted your best friend at almost 3 am to say that if he wanted to have sex that you would gladly volunteer, and all that he replies back with is him asking to get coffee. You really were out of your mind.

You don’t know what came over yourself last night to text him what you did. At the time in your groggy sleepy mind, it made perfect sense. You were the only person Damian trusted to be vulnerable around so, therefore, you could be the person that he would lose his virginity to. What were you thinking?

 You cursed yourself all morning as you reluctantly got ready to meet for coffee. You messaged him back and told him to meet you at the coffee shop a few blocks from your apartment at 10:30. Which gave you just enough time to shower, dry your hair, put on a bit of makeup, and get dressed, all while wondering if you had completely messed up everything. Damian would most likely put you down gently, politely state that you aren’t his time and didn’t see you that way, and go on pretending this never happened. 

You had to admit that you weren’t exactly on Damian’s level. You thought you looked beautiful, however, very average. Average height, average eye color, average body type. Damian was an adonis. Beautiful and powerful in every aspect. His whole body demanded respect and when he walked into a room he suddenly owned it. His whole family was like that. Even though they were all adopted by his dad, his brothers and sisters were just undeniable gorgeous. You wondered if they shared a skin routine or if vigilantism was just great for your skin. 

You worried that you might be losing your best friend. Being shot down you could handle. It would hurt like hell but you could handle it. Brush it off with a joke and then you both just never speak of it again. However if this changed things between you, you could lose Damian entirely, and that’s something you just couldn’t handle. Damian was your rock and your biggest supporter. He was the person you told everything to. He was the person that you would call when you were sitting on your bathroom floor crying when life just got too overwhelming. You needed him. 

You decide on a simple outfit of sneakers, black jeans, and a t-shirt on it with a yellow bat symbol on it. It was a common shirt for Gotham, and it made Damian laugh every time you wore it. You wore it today to judge how the conversation would go. If he laughed then you were in the clear, if he didn’t laugh you would start to mentally prepare yourself for the worst. You brushed your hair and gave yourself one final head nod of encouragement in the mirror before you grabbed your bag and headed out the door before you could change your mind. 

The walk to the coffee shop wasn’t long and soon you were stepping through the front door. Your eyes immediately scanned the small shop and landed on a very deadpan looking Damian in the far corner. He was sitting up straight as a rod, checking the time on his watch, with two drinks in front of him. Of course, he would get there early. You started walking in his direction and his eyes immediately picked up the movement. You meet his eyes briefly before he glanced at what you were wearing. Damian’s eyes lit up and he chuckled lowly while shaking his head in an exasperated manner. You decided that the noise was magical as it lifted the worry from your shoulders. 

You sat down in the chair in front of him thanking him as he slid over your favorite order. After a few beats of you both silently drinking your respective drinks, you decided to speak. “So Dami, what brings us here on this lovely Saturday morning,” you asked. 

“I think you and I both know why we are here,” he said with a small smile and the slightest waver in his voice. 

“Look its fine if you don’t want my offer,” you start but you are quickly cut off by Damian. 

“No, it’s not that. I just want to make sure we are on the same page and I would rather do that in person. I want to know exactly what it is that you are offering before I agree.” he explained relaxing into his chair a little more when you smiled at him. 

“I’m offering anything you want Damian,” You said. 

“I would rather hear it in your words if you don’t mind,” He said. 

You gave him a small smile and said “I’m offering to be the person you can trust to be vulnerable with. I’m offering to be your firsts of however much you want. However much you feel comfortable with.”

He thought about this for a moment, watching the small crowd in the coffee shop, and then finally leaned his elbows on the table to lean towards you, looking at the table said in a quiet voice “And that’s something that you would enjoy as well?” 

There’s your Damian, asking to make sure you would enjoy yourself too, even though you were the one that offered. He wanted to make sure you were comfortable with this and make sure that by accepting your offer he wouldn’t be taking advantage of you or forcing you into something you wouldn’t be comfortable with. 

You reached across the table and gently placed your hand on top of his, stroking your thumb against his wrist once before answering. 

“Yes” 

He then asked, “And you would tell me if anything makes you uncomfortable or if you wanted this to stop at any time?” 

You could have laughed at the thought of wanting to stop anything with him if his eyes weren’t so serious. If you couldn’t see the worry in his face as his eyes continued to burn a hole into the table. The idea that you could have Damian touching you, kissing you, and in your bed was something you don’t think you would ever want to stop once you started. It was a dangerous game to play, having developed a slight crush on your best friend over the years, but this wasn’t about you. This was about Damian.

“Yes. This is going to require communication from both of us to work, but I promise you that I will be completely open and honest about everything”, you said with as much reassurance as you could possibly give.

He lifted his head and your eyes met. His rich green eyes searched yours for something. Any doubt or hesitation or fear, but when he found nothing but confidence, strength, and sincerity he smiled. 

He leaned back in his chair crossing his arms in front of his chest as he cleared his throat with a smile and said “I don’t think there is a man alive that would turn down a proposition such as this one.” he said with amusement in his voice. He looked up into your eyes and simply said: “I accept.”  

[snowdice]

Road Trips and Missing Persons (Part 19)

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Patton & Virgil, Virgil & Janus, Logan & Patton, Emile & Remy, Roman & Remus & Janus

Characters: Patton, Virgil, Janus, Remus, Roman, Logan, Emile, Remy

Summary: Patton was just getting groceries. The next thing he knew, there was a knife at his throat and he was an unwilling uber driver. Virgil’s on the run after the murder of his dad, and it’s not just his paranoia that’s telling him he’s being chased down. He has to get somewhere safe, somewhere he can trust, and all he has is a couple of stories from his dad and a name: “Green Bellow Foods and Dispensary.”

Notes: Secret Agents AU, knives, carjacking, kidnapping, murder mentioned, guns mentioned, pepper spray, blood mentioned, drugs mentioned, explosions, car crashes (more to be added)

This is a fic I’ve been writing on study breaks that you have probably all already seen at this point. I’ve affectionately named it the Goblin Brain Fic because it’s helping my brain actually get motivated for studying. I’ve slightly edited it for wording and grammar, but not for content from my previous posts. Feel free to send in asks to direct it because I’m not 100% sure where this is going and you can help decide if you feel so inclined! You can see the process I went through to build this at this link.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 My Master Post

“…Huh?” Patton said in response to the clearly fuming man that had just come into the room. At first, Virgil had assumed that he was talking to Virgil, but his eyes were on Patton. “What’d I do?”

Angry Guy took a moment to pause, his fingers twitching like he wanted to squeeze Patton’s neck. “Do you know why I called you?”

Patton opened his mouth.

“Of course, you don’t!” Angry Guy continued. “Because the only communication I’ve gotten from you in the past 5 hours is a phone call where you hung up before I could explain anything and an unintelligible string of emojis!”

“Well, what did you need to talk to me about?” Patton asked.

“There was a missing child,” Angry Guy said.

“Oh no!” Patton replied.

Angry Guy stared at him for a moment. “Him, Patton,” he said pointing at Virgil. “The missing child was him!”

“Oh,” Patton said. “I guess it all worked out then!”

“NO.”

“Wait, wait,” Virgil said. “Unintelligible string of emojis? You’re his brother?”

“Now, honey, don’t get skittish,” Patton said, which was when Virgil realized he had taken a step back.

“No, no,” Virgil said. “What’s going on? He’s your brother and he’s here.”

“Well, how exactly did you think I knew where the abandoned factory that happened to be a cover for a secret agency was?” Patton asked.

“It’s a what?” Virgil asked.

“Patton.”

Patton waved Angry Man off. “He already basically knew.”

“Wait,” Virgil said. “My dad is… was a secret agent?”

Angry Man looked a little less angry when he glanced away from Patton to meet Virgil’s eyes. “Yes,” he said. “Your father worked for me for a lot of years, which is why I sent my agents after you. I thought of him as a friend, and I am well aware that your mother is unfit,” his tone darkened considerable, “for a variety of reasons.”

“She killed dad,” Virgil said.

“I know,” Angry Man replied. “Though… I am unsure how you learned that information.”

Virgil didn’t feel like answering; instead he turned to Patton with an accusing look. “You knew!”

“Well, I didn’t know everything.”

“You knew enough! Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Well at first you had a knife,” Patton said.

“He what?” Angry Man asked.

“Then you were asleep. Then you were panicking. By that point I was worried that trying to tell you anything would make you panic more especially because you obviously didn’t want me to know anything about you. So, I decided it was better just to let you lead and figure stuff out when we got here.”

Virgil glared at him. “This is just like the cows,” he grumbled.

“So, the cows were a part of it?” Angry Man asked.

“No, no,” said Patton. “We were already off the interstate when that accident happened.”

“But he just said…”

“It was the cow game. We went past the cemetery near Hudson.”

“Why did you go the back way?”

“He had an active tracker on him,” Patton answered. “He threw it out of the window, but we thought it was best to get off the interstate.”

Angry Man turned to Virgil. “If you had one tracker on you, we should probably check you for more just to be safe. I wouldn’t trust your mother.” His nose scrunched up just a touch and his mouth turned down when he mentioned Virgil’s mom. At least Virgil and Angry Man seemed to be on the same page when it came to how much Mom sucked.

“So, you’re going to help me?” Virgil asked.

“Of course,” Angry Man replied. “I will make sure you are cared for.”

“And I won’t have to go with mom.”

“I would much prefer that you did not, and I am sure that would align with your father’s wishes. Particularly because he had in the past discussed such a theoretical circumstance with me and had threatened to “haunt me” if I ever let you near “that bitch.”

Virgil couldn’t help but chuckle at that even if it came out strained. “Sounds like dad,” he said and then shifted nervously. “So, what’s going to happen now?”

“For now, I’ll take you downstairs and find you a place to rest. Usually, I’d offer you food, but knowing Patton that has likely been taken care of.” Virgil nodded. “We’ll figure out exactly what’s going to happen next once I have figured out all of the other complications of tonight.”

“What other complications?” Patton asked.

Angry Man turned to him. “Well if you’d answer your phone,” he said, irritation coloring his tone once again, “you would be aware that everyone is missing.”

“What do you mean by ‘everyone’?”

“I mean, I haven’t heard from Roman since he checked the bus station near his house,” he gestured at Virgil, “hours ago. Remus has sent me exactly one very unhelpful text. His partner, my double agent, opened the last mission request but hasn’t responded in any way. Having known the man for the last two years, I am certain he is being completely irrational over his worry and doing god knows what. That is assuming he wasn’t found out and captured. I sent Fredrick and Darlene out investigate what was going on, but the last I knew, they were in a car chase and their communication devices cut out. I can’t even get ahold of his uncle after our phone call was cut off while the man was screaming.”

That made Virgil’s stomach clench in worry. “He was screaming?” Angry Man seemed to realize his mistake and grimaced. He glanced over at Patton as though for help. Patton stepped up next to Virgil and carefully put an arm around his shoulder. Virgil curled into the half-hug and allowed himself to be comforted even though he planned to return to being miffed at Patton for keeping secrets later.

“We’ll figure everything out and no matter what happens, I promise you’ll be okay. Logan knows what he’s doing and I’m going to help.” He looked up at his brother. “For now, let’s go downstairs.”

“Okay,” Virgil agreed.

“Maybe I’ll even get a full name out of you yet.”

“What?” Logan asked. “You don’t even know who he is? Did you just kidnap a random child?”

“Of course, I do. He’s Bob,” Patton said immediately. Virgil couldn’t help it, he laughed. Patton send him a wink. “Also, I’d say he kidnapped me.”

“I don’t care to know what you mean by that at the moment,” Logan said with a sigh, “but that isn’t ‘Bob.’ He’s Virgil Gates.”

“Remy’s kid?” Patton asked.

“You know my dad?” Virgil asked.

“Remy’s dead?!” Patton asked which was when the front doors opened suddenly.

“Quit telling everyone I’m dead!”

There was a beat of silence. “Sometimes I can still hear his voice,” said Patton cheerfully.

“Dad?” Virgil asked.

Want to read more? Click below!

Part 20

[vake-hunter]

Acceptance into the House of Chimes results and which Master is playing Chimes in those results

this is fun and cute little details about the Masters

An innocent (Pages)

A fresh face among the jaded horde! No doubt you will achieve great things one day. But watch yourself: in Fallen London, innocence is a commodity like any other. 

Mr Chimes glides across the floor and grasps your hand in a spotless white glove. It feels like shaking a branch wound with spider-silk. 'Most optimate friend!' it whispers. 'Welcome to our Chamber of Delicacies!'

An Extraordinary Beauty (Apples/Hearts)

Persuasive 20

That skin! Those eyes! That delightful nose! Nobody can resist you!

Mr Chimes glides across the floor and surveys you up and down. 'My dear, my dear,' it says. 'How very appetising to have you here with us. Will you tilt your head to the right a little? Just so. Just so.'

A Player of Games (Iron)

Watchful 20, the Boatman's Opponent 1

You are an emperor of the chess board. You shuffle tiles and playing cards with dazzling speed. Rumour has it that you have diced with Death itself.

Mr Chimes approaches: the clicking of its boot-heels on the floor is like bone dice thrown on marble. It hands you two mah-jong tiles. Engraved on the back of the Winter tile is the single word 'WELCOME'. On the back of the Plum tile, you read 'LUCK IS THE PREROGATIVE OF VICTORS.' 

A noted trainer of Weasels (Apples/Hearts)

1 x Araby Fighting Weasel

The weasel-fanciers of Spite speak highly of your expertise with the genus mustela.

Mr Chimes is suddenly at your elbow. It inhales deeply. 'Oh, toothsome, my dear,' it says. 'Toothsome. Let the little fellows run free, by all means. Someone will manage the results, I assure you.' 

A true patriot (Wines)

1 x A Copy of your Patriotic Adventure

Your writings inspire the youth of Fallen London to a frenzy of patriotism!

Mr Chimes takes your arm and guides you into the lobby of the House. Its grasp is like the clutch of a winter tree. 'We respect loyalty to an ideal,' it says. 'One of the more austere forms, perhaps. But a true realisation nevertheless. No?'

A masterful cat-chaser (UH I ACTUALLY DONT KNOW? Veils maybe?)

Shadowy 30

You have honed your skills in pursuit of the city's most evasive felines. They speak your name with respect, if not quite affection.

Mr Chimes steals up on you from behind, but you turn just before its gloved fingers touch your shoulder. It chortles. 'Who can stalk the stalker, eh? Welcome to my House. Ware the Bell!' 

Not to be crossed (Iron probably)

Dangerous 20

There is something disquieting about your appearance. It's hard to pin down, exactly. An aura of suppressed violence.

Mr Chimes strides toward you. It holds up a hand in greeting. Or in warning? It nods once; it turns to go. That is all.

A crown in shadows (Wines)

1 Fate

Royal blood? Can it be true? On the wrong side of the blankets, no doubt. But that's what they say.

Mockery or respect?

Mr Chimes steps aside for you and makes the gentlest inclination of its head. 'We will bring you a bottle of something a little special,' it avers. 'We are delighted to add another crownable head to our collection!' Hm. 

Allergic to brass? (Spices probably)

1 x Nevercold Brass Sliver

The touch of the stuff hives your skin and blears your eyes. It makes you weep tears of blood. This makes you an object of some fascination at parties.

A bewildered Master

Unthinkable!' the hooded Mr Chimes shrieks. 'Impossible! Unprecedented!' It seems quite cheerful about it, though. It does insist you demonstrate the weeping-blood business, unfortunately.

Exceptionally Talented (Cups/Mirrors. Possibly Hearts/Apples but almost definitely Cups/Mirrors)

10 x Confident Smile, Persuasive 100

Both ladies and gentlemen pause immediately before speaking your name. There is a quality to that pause which is not easily described.

A friendly thing

Mr Chimes' hand spiders along your arm. 'My dear,' it coos. 'If only my tastes ran to... well, perhaps if your blood was a little cooler. No matter, my dear. You will be treasured.' 

The Rooftop Dancer (Veils)

Shadowy 60, Route: The Flit 1

You know the ways of the Flit like few others. They say you can reach the summit of All Christs' spire in the space of a single breath. They say you stole a feather from the Topsy King's hat. They call you 'Pussyfoot', but in a good way.

An avuncular approach

Mr Chimes drifts up like a scrap of silk on the wind. 'Good evening! Good evening indeed! You're a swift and circumspect maker of ways, aren't you? You are indeed! How very much to be admired.' 

An Unparalelled Grotesque (Maybe Wines because it has blue eyes)

10 x Hard-Earned Lesson

In the decades since the Fall, no-one has ever looked quite like you. Thank God.

A long silence

The bluish glimmer of Mr Chimes' eyes is steady, but you sense an obscure emotion. 'Well,' it says at last, 'why not? Why not indeed.'

A Visionary (Wines. Not Pages due to wording. Royal we makes it Wines)

A Person of Some Importance: A Significant Individual

You have made the Square of Lofty Words your playground. You have cowed the women and men of the University. Your ideas are simple in outline and intricate in implication. They will be remembered, perhaps, when everyone in this room is dead. Except Mr Chimes.

A debatable honour

‘Dear friend,' Mr Chimes murmurs confidentially. 'We have often read the surveillance reports on your speeches. We have commended your texts to the Ministry of Public Decency. We look forward to hearing more of your thoughts.'

A Prisoner of Despair (Fires)

Melancholy 4

Can your misery be so deep and unrelieved that even Mr Chimes has taken pity on you? Or does it simply hope you'll be a diverting mascot?

Mockery, or Hope?

Mr Chimes bears down on you, robe flapping like a tent in a hurricane. Its voice is an alto shriek. 'Come along upstairs! It's warm enough. It'll steam the chill out of your heart. And, here - ' It hands you a candle. 'It'll light you to bed.'

A Speaker of Truth to Power (Iron)

Forceful 3, Subtle 3

You've said the wrong thing to the wrong people once too often. You're going to be a lot of fun.

An ambivalent welcome

Mr Chimes perches on a high carved chair like a black gull on a cliff. A footman approaches with a silver tray bearing a single card. It reads: 'SILENCE'. An announcement? A suggestion? An instruction? Or is Mr Chimes just being difficult for its own inscrutable entertainment?

A Possessor of Impossible Table Habits (Who knows. One who knows table manners I guess)

What are you - no. No! Such things were not to be dreamt of! A fork cannot be put to such uses! Close your mouth! Close his mouth! For the love of all that is holy! DON'T TOUCH THAT SPOON!

Mr Chimes arranges an audition of sorts. You are served a hearty meal of beef-steak and winter vegetables, and provided with all the cutlery you might require. You perform the operations for which you have become notorious. After a suitable time for the onlookers to recover their composure, you are admitted to the House.

Orphaned in a Grisly Accident (I want to say Veils due to what we know of its collections)

Mr Chimes likes tales of blood and terror. It likes tales of butter and whimsy too. Tales of blood, terror, butter and whimsy are like music and water to one dying of thirst in the Desert of Cymbals. The tale of your parents' death at the hands of the Dairy Kings will bring breathless listeners to the fire for a hundred nights.

Not a dry eye

You tell the tale, long and horrible as it is. Mr Chimes convulses with... Mirth? Pity? Fear? Black-liveried footmen watch impassively while its shoulders writhe and roll, and its eyes shimmer like topaz deep in its hood. At last it subsides and you are admitted to the House. 'Step carefully,' Mr Chimes flutes.

An Artist in Ivory (Wines was the Khan of Dreams, but this could be Spices talking. Or Cups/Mirrors.)

a Scholar of the Correspondence 1

You have carved flutes from femurs and trinkets from tibia. Your sigil-circled skull sits in the grandest gallery of Veilgarden. They whisper that when you die for the last time, Mr Cups itself will come for your bones.

A pale horse

‘A little gift,' Mr Chimes informs you. 'Something to recall the Khan of Dreams by. Since you seem so keen to commemorate him.' Do you? Or has Mr Chimes misunderstood the nature of your project?

A wanderer of Parabola (Mirrors)

7 x Memory of Light, A Game of Chess 9, Is Someone There? 10

In your dreams you have seen the Mirror-Marches, the Menagerie of Roses, the Castle of Forests, the nests of the Fingerkings... even though you may forget them when you wake. But there is a light in your eyes.

A light in the darkness

‘Yes,' says the Master quietly. 'The mirrors know your name. The serpents have your scent. The rivers of roses will not drown you. The apples of glass might lie quiet in your hands. If you burn, you burn like a candle. If you die, you die like dawn. You are very delicious.' 

A zub-mariner! (Spices from voice but sounds like Fires from excitement about boats)

1 x Zubmarine, An Experienced Zailor 3

You are charting the unknown leagues beneath the zee.

Mr Chimes lopes towards you across the stone floor. 'Marvellous!' it shrills. It pumps your hand excitedly. It's like grabbing a nestful of velvet spiders. 'You'll fit right in here. Grab a seat.'

A killer of renown (Iron)

A Bringer of Death 1, 1 x Ravenglass Knife

Even in Fallen London, where bloodshed is as common as glim-fall, your name is whispered with apprehension. 

Mr Chimes approaches in utter silence. It hands you a rostygold knife, hilt-first. Engraved on the blade is the word: MEET. That is all.

A font of devil's tears (Want to say Cups due to smell but could be any)

Connected: Hell 20

Did your masterwork really make a devil weep? It must be true. Mr Chimes has the tears there in a little bottle. Wait. Is it drinking them?

A chuckle in the hood

Mr Chimes drapes a companionable arm across your shoulders. It smells of dust and winter starlight. 'Devils despise that kind of humiliation,' it confides in you. 'I laughed for days. Come on upstairs.' 

An Oenologonaut (Spices)

1 x Greyfields 1868 First Sporing, 1 x Greyfields 1879, 1 x Greyfields 1882, 1 x Black Wings Absinthe, 1 x Morelways 1872, 1 x Broken Giant 1844, 1 x Strangling Willow Absinthe, 1 x Fourth City Airag: Year of the Tortoise, 1 x Cellar of Wine

No-one has plumbed the secrets of the grape, the hop and the blood-apple more deeply than you. You can identify the products of vineyards that have no name in any human tongue.

Fond Sighs

Dear one,' says Mr Chimes warmly. 'Pleasure is a wilderness. We are its cartographers. Let us embark, you and I, on the catalogue of delight! Our journey begins here.' 

A Liar among Liars (No idea)

1 x Appalling Secret, 1 x Uncanny Incunabula, 1 x Extraordinary Implication, 1 x Searing Enigma, 1 x Whispered Secret, 1 x Cryptic Clue

Who can ever believe your stories? Truth is mingled with falsehood like blood in milk. You are a prince of rumours. Or is it a princess? Who can ever be sure?

An impassive audience

Mr Chimes listens to your stories of star and sea and shadow. It neither nods nor shakes its head when you suggest certain relationships between the Mountain of Light and the troubling thesis of Mr Darwin. It is motionless when you venture a hypothesis as to why only six symbols of the Correspondence can be written together on one paper. When you begin to discuss a matter of wells and candles and the Third City, it raises a finger. 'This is false,' it murmurs. 'Let us ensure it remains that way,' 

A Legendary Calumnist (Apples/Hearts)

Scandal 7, Persuasive 100, Watchful 100

Your barbs and insults and the twisting satires you've spawned have been the bane of the lowly and the great alike. All fear the savage edge of your tongue.

A cautious welcome

‘My dear,' Mr Chimes whispers. 'Be kind to the little ones, will you? Not all have your advantages. I admit you only on condition that you choose not to bite.'

‘I know a man.' (Probably Wines)

Connected: the Masters of the Bazaar 5

If it can be called a man. Step aside, peon. I am already welcome here.'

A hearty welcome

Come in, come in! A place by the fire is prepared for you. The table is set. The brandy rises from the cellar like the laughter of friends! Forget the petty troubles without. You have earned this night of peace.' 

I will scream until your House rings with the Words of the Thunder! (Probably Wines)

Stormy-Eyed 5, having Recurring Dreams: What the Thunder Said 10

I am the storm, I am the wind, I am the rain! I demand admittance! Defy me and I will blow your House down! 

The cloaked thing bows before me!

I fling gusts of squalling rain at its head! Then I race through the dusty corners and crannies of the House of Chimes with a cleansing breeze! I bid lightning spring from its spire in celebration! The Master insists I hang my oilskin on the hatstand before I drip on the carpets! 

The Inescapable Arm of the Law (Spices I believe)

investigating the Rubbery Murders 12, ascending the Reliables list of Mr Pages 3, Connected: The Constables 50, Connected: The Great Game 50, Watchful 100, 1 x Antique Constable's Badge

Your eye pursueth the malfeasant as the wrathful eye of God pursued Cain across the desert. You have returned wedding rings to costermongers, cats to dowagers, and stolen hearts to sorrowful tomb-colonists.

A nervous flutter?

We are most pleased to see you here,' Mr Chimes shrills. 'You are an ingeniate of great note! But perhaps you should limit your investigations in this House, eh?'

A Blood-Cousin to Predators (Veils probably)

1 x Ancient Hunting Rifle, a Procurer of Savage Beasts 1, 1 x Fairly Tame Sorrow-Spider, 1 x Bengal Tigress, 1 x Araby Fighting-Weasel, Dangerous 100, Watchful 100, marked by the Eater-of-Chains 3.

You have brought the great beasts low and walked in the footsteps of the fierce. You have turned fang and cunning, spine and venom and brute strength, against the monsters who wield them.

A peculiar passion

Mr Chimes inclines its head to you. 'Beasts. Beasts beasts beasts! So many beasts, such little time. Perhaps you could turn your energies to the pursuit of troublesome humans, hey? Why waste your time hunting those who cannot speak? Or sing? But welcome welcome!'

[weeklyfangirl]

Frat Boy Pt. 20

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7 (1), part 7 (2), part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13 , part 14, part 15, part 16, part 17, part 18, part 19

Happy New Year!!!!!! Here’s a party and a hot guy loving on you - and you don’t even have to leave your home ;)

I haven’t been to many therapist offices after I started high school. This one was free, on student-life. Reproduced images of the sea were comforting enough, but it was the dreary stained carpet that reminded me where I was. 

“Do you think they’re related to the night you were assaulted?” 

“Yes. But I don’t know how to get rid of them. I lose sleep and then when I do sleep, I have these nightmares and I wake up more restless than if I’d just stayed up all night.” 

 “Hm. And how do you feel about Harry?” 

 “Harry?” 

 She nodded. “Yes, the boy in your dreams.” Her French manicured nails squeezed the top of her clipboard.

 “That’s not an easy question.” 

 “Try.” 

 I sighed. “Okay…” The painted seagull in her office looked like an on-clearance print at TJ Maxx, and suddenly I wished I’d called my mother for her own version of therapy instead. Bargain shopping. “I think I hate him. But then I know I don’t. But then… I don’t necessarily like him either.” 

 “Do you love him?” 

I laughed. “No, I don’t love him.”

 “Why do you laugh?”

 “I said I almost hated him and you ask me if I love him!” But my voice was a little too loud. The question stayed with me, stirring in my mind. “I think I’d know if I loved him.” 

 “Love looks different to different people. Finding a healthy version of love for yourself and your partner is where things can go awry. Or right.” 

 I remembered Harry and I talking at Alta about Madame Bovary, and how I’d told him that people love to the best of their abilities, from what they’ve learnt by their circumstances. Silence weighed in the room, and I knew she was waiting for me to elaborate on my feelings. Bleh.

 “I don’t know,” I finally said. “But if this is what love looks like to him… We’re not even technically dating so this question doesn’t even apply!” I laughed again. “But then… even if we were, then...  it’s not enough.” 

 “And what would be enough for you?”

 “Stability.” 

 “And do you think this is possible with him?” 

 “Umm…” Zayn’s voice popped in my head - Harry was a magnet for infamy - and I laughed. I laughed, and I laughed...“No.”

 “And why is that?” 

 “Because he self-sabotages. And he says things he doesn’t mean.” 

 “Such as...?”

 A puff of breath left my lips. “Like last night, he said I didn’t have a life. And then he was comparing me to another girl. Viv. She’s like his… sister, basically. She grew up with him. But… he got really defensive and said at least she fucks me. But the fact that he said I don’t have a life?? A LIFE?? I mean shit, it’s not my fault he’s infiltrated my dreams is it?” 

 She shook her head. “It’s very important for you not to blame yourself. Show yourself the same kindness you’d show your friends. Renny, for example.” 

 Be kind to yourself. 

 I nodded. Those were the words my mother would say whenever I’d critique myself. Just like all those times before, the words registered, but it didn’t change anything about the frustration I felt. I was the one dumb enough to let him in. I’d let myself be dragged into him, even with every red flag hitting me in the face. I was collecting them for a meme bouquet at this point!

 “Do you believe him?” she asked. 

 It took me a minute to hear her. 

 “The words he said to you,” she said. “That you don’t have a life.” 

 A timer beeped on her phone. She muted it. “I’d like you to write out what you want in your life for next time. Not what anybody else wants. But what Y/N wants. When you see it written out, no matter how silly it seems, having concrete answers might help.”

 --------------

 I was staring at my notes page, trying to think of what I wanted. I didn’t exactly have the chance to ask her what she meant by that. Did she mean career goals? Education goals? Relationship goals? What did this have to do with ending my nightmares? 

 A text at the top of my phone distracted me from the blank page. 

 Kiki: “Don’t worry, we didn’t forget about you. Get your hands on the special airhead pills from Harry’s and bring them to the DG Pretty Please Party next week. On the DL obvi.”  

Viv chimed in on the group chat. “Congrats bitch! It’ll be fun for all of us.” She included the devil emoji. 

 This is what I got for stalling up until the last minute to walk into work. The practice was now a blatant reminder that Harry was out of my life and it didn’t help whenever I saw Lionel. It felt weird that I was seeing his dad more than him. Wrong, even. 

 Voices carried through the lot along with the clicking of heels. I turned my head. 

 Boss Lady Samantha was headed towards the elevator. 

 Shit, Y/N. Shit shit shit.

 I got out, quietly closing the door. Better to walk with my boss than walk in late after her, right? Her red hair was let down today, ringlet curls in full effect. I could meet her at the elevator before it arrived.

 But right when I was about to shout out hold the elevator Lionel walked right behind her. And I mean RIGHT behind her - there was hardly room for a Bible between them. 

 I hid behind my car, unsure if I was supposed to be seeing this. 

 Their voices were too low to hear, but his arm lingered at her lower back before the elevator opened. She got in. Alone. Lionel looked over his shoulder and I ducked further. 

 Through Grandpa’s windows, I saw the elevator door close. Lionel waved goodbye to Samantha and he pressed the button again. 

 Before chickening out, my shoulders straightened. I shouldn’t have to be the one hiding. I jogged to make it. His brows shot up in surprise as he held the elevator for me. The kindness I’d gotten used to seeing in his eyes looked hesitant this time. 

 “A little late today?” he asked, as soon as I’d made it in. 

 I avoided his eyes, nodded.  It was a quiet elevator ride. 

 ------------

 My family’s house was a ten minute drive from the practice. Enough drive time to sit on what I’d seen outside Coast Shores Medicine. It could’ve been friendly. I didn’t have to do anything about this. But in my bones, I knew that friendly isn’t what I’d seen. Lionel avoided me the rest of the day, assigning me to print out billing statements. I hadn’t seen them make out or anything, but there was a certain intimacy I couldn’t write off right away. Did Mrs. de Saude know about his close work relationships? Did Harry? 

 The sickening uneasiness dissipated when I heard my parent’s Home Improvement HGTV hour. Dad was already passed out on the couch, snoring at a whopping 8 PM when I walked through the door. Ignoring Mom’s tutting of “they keep you too late,” we went to my bedroom. 

 “Pick the nude ones,” Mom said, adjusting the spectacles she only pulled out on rare occasions (magazine reading and shoe selections). “It makes your legs look longer.” It looked like there was something more she wanted to say. 

 I adjusted them in the mirror, wearing the blush dress I’d bought for my aunt’s beach wedding almost a year prior. It’d never been worn. Her Spanish fiancé she’d met three months prior stole her TV set and ran off with his gay lover a week before. As I stood, the dress just barely touched the floor. Simple, really, but the way the thin straps exposed my chest rendered it elegant. I felt like I needed a long cigarette and fur coat to make it complete.  

 Without context, Mother suddenly burst into an annoyed huff. 

 “You okay?” I asked.

 “Hm?” Her lashes fluttered as if she hadn’t realized she’d made a noise. “Oh, yes. I’m fine. Your father just took another one of those sleeping pills. You should never get too dependent on medication, Y/N. Drink warm milk or something.”

 “Mom.”

 “I’m serious!” Her stony face certainly wasn’t comical. 

 “I know.”

 She looked me over in the dress again and caught herself, pulling me in for a rushed hug. “I’m sorry,” she breathed. She rocked me a little. “It’s just been a little rough this week.” She squeezed me tighter, then let me go. All negative energy shoved into a box that’d spring open when we all least expected it. “Have a good night tonight. Say hello to Harry for me!”

 When I walked to the car she threw out, “And tell him next time he can ask you with a Cartier ring! HA! I’m joking!! ... Kind of!!!” 

 I smiled, waving to her at the gate as I got into my Grandpa mobile. I didn’t have the heart to tell her Golden Boy wasn’t my date.  

 ---------

There were two cops for every solo cup I could see littered on the ground. They patrolled the streets, but the frat house seemed unphased and restored to its former glory as I walked with Andre. Club music pounded beyond the doors, practically shaking the windows. Girls huddled up outside, holding each other’s hair back and trying to block anyone’s view from the bile, as the guys snickered over their shoulders and some pretended not to see. But the cops weren’t here to reprimand for underage drinking and public intoxication tonight. They were on watch. Stationed around the perimeter of the house and on either end of the street. 

 They were waiting for something else. For somebody else. 

 Andre seemed oblivious, practically skipping past them he was so excited. I, on the other hand, was already limping from the nude pumps. 

 “Wanna switch shoes?” he called back. 

 “Don’t make a deal you aren’t willing to keep,” I smiled, quirking a brow. “The nude would actually match your navy suit…”

 He’d already walked on, fist bumping the bouncer who raised up a professional-grade camera and snapped a photo of us. When my eyes recovered from the flash, I spotted Officer Ramirez from the uniforms just beyond the frat’s ramshackle fence. He was already watching me. He raised two fingers above his brow and I nodded, curtly, even though I wanted to shrink inside myself. I hadn’t had the time to think about what I would say if he contacted me again, or if I should be the one to reach out to him.

 Andre led me inside, and for once, I was glad I couldn’t hear my own thoughts. It raised ten degrees just from stepping inside. The boys were in Bond suits, but most had abandoned their jackets wherever they could - on the banister, the couch beneath the staircase, or the entrance hall. The girls had dressed up, too. This was the most covered up I think I’d seen some of them, though others still opted for above-the-knee slips.

 “Oi, where’s your drink?!” Niall’s familiar voice shouted above the bass.

 He pulled Andre into a side hug before we reached the dancefloor. When he saw me, Niall practically fell over. 

 “Y/N! What’re you doing here?” He spluttered, whiskey in his breath. The knot of his tie was already to his chest, but he loosened it even more. He looked over his shoulder, then back to me. “Renny’s just gone to the bathroom.” 

 “She’s my date,” Andre stepped in, placing an arm around my shoulder. It was completely platonic but Niall’s face went to stone. 

 Suddenly it cracked, and he laughed, running a hand over his stubbly chin. “Oh, shit.” He laughed again. “Shit!” 

 Andre smiled, unaware of anything else besides the fact that Niall must be proud he showed up with a date. He patted Niall’s shoulder. “We’re going to see the big bro, I’ll find you later.” Andre nodded his head for me to follow, leaving Niall cackling to himself in the entranceway.

 “Niall’s THE. MAN,” he put his hands up for emphasis. “He’s my favorite in the house besides my big. We gotta say hi, then you can run off. Oh, Renny’s here too!” He squeezed my shoulders as if to excite me, as if she’d be the reason I’d stay. Loved the girl, but I knew she’d be back on top of Niall five minutes after she was out. I just didn’t want to have to watch. 

 I wrung my hands together, growing nervous. I knew the reason Niall had reacted that way was because Harry was going to be here. I knew this coming into it. But I’d been expecting him to ignore me the entire night. With Niall’s reaction, I wasn’t so sure anymore. What had Harry told Niall?

 Someone sloshed their beer on me as I passed, and I turned sour, rolling my eyes as Andre pushed us forward. I picked up the pace before he could notice I’d stopped and wiped the glare off my face. Or, tried. I probably just looked constipated now. 

 WHY WAS HIDING EMOTION SO HARD?? 

 I felt bad feeling so annoyed. Andre was excited. I should be excited, right? Sloshed beer and sweaty bodies came with the territory. Though I’d forgotten how humid it got in here. Hell and Florida were probably cooler. I picked up the ends of my dress, hoping for some sort of ventilation to reach parts of me that were on the verge of overheating. 

 The coffee tables and couches had been moved from the center of the living room to the fringes beneath the stairwell to make designated smoking and dancing sections. I could’ve stayed on the outside of the dance crowd. Hell, I could’ve joined the spaced-out smokers on the couch. But I didn’t. I followed Andre to the middle of the dance floor. I could barely see above the tops of people’s heads until we reached a bit of a clearing. And by clearing, I meant the sweaty dancers in front of us who made a break for freedom and gave us about ten seconds of space before other bodies rushed to fill it. 

 I felt him before I saw him. A tiny prick of consciousness that directed my gaze. And Andre’s finger.

 “AYYYY!!!!!” Andre pointed to the DJ booth, waving his hands as he hollered.

 Even with the rocking vibration of the bass that chattered my teeth, each nerve in my body went alert. Harry stood, flashing a white smile to the crowd before downing the rest of whatever potion was in his cup. I hated how my stomach clenched just by seeing him. He saw Andre and his smile grew, grabbing the mic. I was still unnoticed, hidden by dim lighting and nameless peers.

 “Who’s ready for us to win tomorrow!?” His voice was low, demanding. It was a question for the crowd, but he was looking at Andre. I could sense the intensity even there, and it was then I realized it couldn’t be just me who feels so vulnerable around Harry. Each person he traps in his gaze stays there, until he lets them go. 

 The house erupted in cheers, but I was locked in place. The suit he was wearing looked similar to the one from the Halloween gala, and every bit of him looked just as stunning. His beautiful body swayed on the makeshift stage. 

 “Then let’s see you jump in-” His hand held up 5, 4, 3, 2… He spun another song and the crowd sprung from the floor before crashing back down. They jumped to the beat he made. A modern-day puppet master. 

 Andre wrapped an arm around me as he jumped. So I did, too. 

 “That’s my big!!” he yelled, mid-air.

 “WHAT??”

 He pointed to the DJ booth, but there was no one there besides Harry. 

 “.... HARRY??! HARRY’S YOUR- your…” I stopped jumping the same second Harry saw us together. It’s funny. It takes only a second to flip a dime on its head. His party boy mask dropped in an instant. The low lighting turned his eyes black, but they couldn’t conceal the daggers he shot straight at me.

 “I have to use the bathroom,” I muttered. 

 Andre nodded. “S’UP THE STAIRS!” He found a friend nearby and latched on to him instead. 

 The small (okay, medium) part of me filled with nothing but Petty™ wanted Harry to see me with his little. But another part of me couldn’t handle his judgmental glare. Somehow, I was embarrassed. I didn’t want him to think I’d come here tonight to make him jealous. That I was so obsessed with him I’d found another in to the frat. I didn’t want him to think he controlled any part of my heart. What did it say that I ran away at first sight, though?

 I’d already done it. It didn’t matter. Either way, I didn’t win.

 I raced upstairs, weaving my way between couples sitting on the stairs, hoping that the line for the restroom was really long and Renny hadn’t already left. It was, and she was next in line. 

 “Oh my God, what are you doing here?!” she screeched, arms out and eyes squinted until I could no longer see her pupil. 

 “Why do people keep asking me that.” 

 She pulled me into an extra-long, extra-tight Renny hug. “Love yousoooomuch,” she rushed. Her breath smelled like Niall as she pulled away. She lifted the cup to my lips and I shook my head. She frowned. 

 “I talked with Niall,” she said. “He says Harry’s just going” - she hiccupped - “through a lot right now. S’best to leave him alone.” 

 The other girls in line perked up at the mention of his name, subconsciously leaning closer. I huffed. “Trust me. I am.” 

 When three girls stumbled out of the only bathroom stall, Renny rushed in. “Thank God I was about to pee on the carpet.” She tried tugging me in with her, but my eye was on the end of the hall. And the stupid DG pretty please.

 “I’ll be back,” I muttered, squeezing her hand. 

 “Nooooo,” she drawled. 

 I squished her cheeks, checked her pupils. She didn’t need me to hold her hair back this time. I gave her cheek a lil slap.

 “I’ll go with you next time you have to go. Which will be in like... twenty minutes. You broke the seal rookie!” I teased. 

 I didn’t even bother looking over the railing at the party below to see if he was watching me. I still had my DG task and a nonrefundable deposit to think about. I didn’t think I’d get many chances to be in this house again unless I swindled Andre or Niall into letting me in. But that would require an explanation, and I wasn’t sure I could tell them that. 

 Forget explanations. I needed to do it now. Lots of noise. Tons of distractions. I’d just think of it as… borrowing?

 His door was locked and I groaned, kicking it and leaving a smudge beside all the others. I reached for a bobby pin in my purse and put it to work. I’d done it before in his bedroom, I could do it again here. The curve of the hallway protected me from onlookers waiting in line in the bathroom. Downstairs was a mixed bag. People could probably see through the railings running along the top floor. 

 Not that they’d think to look. 

 My knees were starting to hurt by the time I heard it click. I crept in, and for some reason, I expected his room to look different. But it was still the same. Dusty desk across from a queen-sized bed. Only one photograph atop his bedside mantle. And it didn’t smell like sweaty soccer clothes, but clean. With hints of a woodland spice and books. It felt like eons had passed since I was first here, undressing him like the drunken baby he’d been. As an act of betrayal, my body rushed at the thought of how his fingers had looped around my belt loops, tugging me closer. I swallowed, the image of his tightened pants expanding in my head. He’d almost been hard, then. 

 It was then, at that moment, that I decided that the one sip of alcohol I’d had must have been spiked with SOMETHING because I would NOT be that girl. I would NOT. I reFUSED TO LET MYSELF-

 Seconds later, my fingertips grazed his soft gray sheets. He’d been sprawled out right about here, and the rush of seeing unseen skin on Harry had been too intoxicating an offer to refuse. The ghost of that rush flowed through me again as my memory played it over like a movie. Close-ups and panning shots - Down his toned chest to tattoos speckled along tan skin, tattoos that had been seemingly doodles, but now held much more meaning now that I knew of his history with the ocean. For his sister. My body leant down before I knew what I was doing, and I inhaled. The lingering aroma of his body chemistry altering his cologne: musky, a little spice, and warmth.

 Even if every ounce of me wanted to dislike him, the legitimate biology behind my body responded to a chemistry I couldn’t control. 

 “What are you doing?”

 He caught me on my knees, with one hand clutched in the sheets.

 Fuckity FUCK-

 He could whip out PSYCHO magazine informing people of highly-dangerous murderers with my mugshot plastered across the cover - and I’d believe him in that moment. Oh my gosh. Omgomgomg. He didn’t say what I expected him to say when he swayed in, though. 

 “Andre. Really?” He laughed to himself, but it was cold. “Fucking” - he stumbled, leaning on the desk chair to catch himself- “really?” 

 It wasn’t the alcohol that’d put him on edge. I’d seen him handle liquor before, but this time he looked… different. I stood up, realizing his eyes were racking down my dress. I crept towards him, hoping to make it past the door. Not because I was scared of him. But because I was mortified. I’d just looked like an absolute fucking psychopath AND I’d snuck into his bedroom. Maybe I could distract him. Maybe he was too drunk to ask me-

 “What’re you doing here?”

 “What are we… all doing here? At parties?”

 “…in my room,” he clarified.

 Welp. My philosophical question fell flat. Wouldn’t be the first time.

 I waltzed past him, tight-lipped. In defense of my dignity, I still didn’t owe him anything. Not after how he’d treated me. 

 “Hey,” his arm jutted out, blocking my way. His brows crossed as he turned to a petulant boy. “S’rude to not answer.” 

 My blood boiled. “You are not about to give me a lesson on how bad it is to ignore people right now. Nor on being rude.” 

 “Can give you another one.” 

 He reached for me, but I stepped back, somewhat living in the hurt that flashed in his eyes at my rejection. 

 “You’re not leaving.” But his demand sounded like a plead. 

 “Thought you didn’t want me around you,” I scoffed, tearing past him. “Just because you’re drunk or high or whatever the fuck it is you are right now, doesn’t mean you can just… get a free pass! For a week! A whole week of awful-” I turned quickly, too frustrated to find the words. I took a step towards the door but- 

 “Y/N.” He was right behind me. His breath warmed the nape of my neck, the delicate hairs standing on end. No matter how much of an absolute mess he was, my body didn’t know better. I could practically feel him behind me, his presence radiating an alarm that blared through my veins. I wanted him. Badly. He trailed a finger down my arm, and his hand brushed against my own against my side. “I’m sorry,” he breathed. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

 His fingers gingerly interlaced with mine, turning me around. 

 Something wet was on my cheek. I touched it, quickly rubbing it away in horror. Why were tears running down my face?! What unfair cruelty was this!? He saw my tears and leant down, suddenly defeated, pulling my body with him.

 “Why did’ya ever want me hm?” His nose went along my jaw. Full lips pressed against the base turned my legs weak. There was an underlying desperation to his words though, a prayer in his kiss. But my thoughts were turning anything but holy. 

 “Who says I did…” I wanted to pull away, ask him why he’d used past tense or why he’d completely ignored me this past week, but I was frozen by the softness of his hands. Self-respect was surely slipping away each moment I lingered. I could literally see Jane Austen parting the heavens and sticking her angelic head through Harry’s room to shame me with a glare. I do all this mental work to try and figure this guy out and… for what? I should be waltzing out that door, declaring I’d never talk to him again. I should give up messy and confused and pursue my own sanity. But the air only ever turned electric with him, in all his messiness, in all this confusion… and each time the spark appeared, it pushed us closer together until he was here, like this, soft hands gently running along my lower back, skilled fingertips feeling the dress fall slightly inwards at my waist, tracing a map of uncharted waters… 

 “You’re not thinking straight,” I breathed. And that went for both of us. 

 “Au contraire, I’m thinking clearer than I ever ‘ave.” There was a swirling madness shining through, but he bat his eyes and it was veiled again, vanished beneath the dark surface. He tilted his head, appraising my body, noticing my legs were no longer tensed to run, but in apprehension for another reason completely. A smirk settled in. “Why do you still want me?” he demanded, pulling me against him towards the bed.

 “Arrogant ass,” I sniped, but I landed on him anyway. His fingers tightened around my waist, a hand snaking up behind to entwine with my hair. I felt him harden beneath me as he pulled my head to the side, just the right amount of rough. But he stalled over vulnerable skin, lips ghosting featherlight up to my ear. He let out a soft breath and I clenched in anticipation. For once, I had no thoughts. “You should be with me,” he breathed. “Should be mine.” His voice grew frustrated and he practically growled, lips kissing my neck, steady, before they started to suck in a rhythm. The shock of the sensation masked the shock from his words and my back arched, a spider’s shiver crawling down my spine. He stopped suddenly, shooting back like he’d been shocked. His grip softened ‘round the nape of my neck, and he looked so… confused. “Can’t mark you again,” he noted, despondent. But then the corners of his lips twitched up in a smirk. “Least where it’s visible.” My breath caught. His black ink eyes showed the slightest ring of green. I don’t remember lifting my hand, but fingers trailed along dark circles. These were a new development. I shook my head lightly. Something was wrong. This was wrong. I leant in, resting my head against his. “Harry-” but his lips cut me off before I could mention it. 

 I felt like I’d been feeling his lips everywhere but my own. They were eager, but kept pace, switching it up just when I was getting comfortable, slowing to make me feel the soft fullness of raspberry-pink lips. They were pillows, and clouds, and everything else soft and wonderful that I’d want to feel forever. He slipped in his tongue, deepening the kiss, and I ground my body against him, using his shoulders as leverage. 

 This wasn’t me. But I didn’t care enough to think about ‘who I was’ anymore. What did I want? 

 I felt him pulse between my legs. 

 “Harry,” I bit my lip, and I knew then. I’ve been wanting more, I’ll always want more. I was more aware than ever of an emptiness he could fill. 

 “Been hard ever since I saw you bouncing in that dress,” he said gruffly. “With fucking Andr- ahh...fuck.” I rocked my hips against him in spite, putting a hand over his mouth to shut him up. 

 But his head jutted back and came forward again. He looked at me through hooded eyes, and just like that I was sedated by his gaze, my body pausing. He looked like he was about to scold me. “Do it again.” His voice was low. I stalled, looking at the way his lips barely parted. “Don’t be shy now, Y/N.” My hips replied on command, but rebelliously, slowly, feeling the length of him run between the thin underwear that’d cocooned itself against my ridges and folds. I ran my hips back down against his thigh. “Fu-uhck-” He jutted his hips up, turning something wicked when I moaned. The friction from the dress and pressure from my own body rocking against Harry built a tightly coiled knot I wanted desperately to release. And then we were kissing again. Fervent. Eager. A skilled tongue slipping in to dance with my own. He was rock hard against me. I could feel the full outline pressed tight against his slacks now, creating my own mental map. My hands wrapped in his hair, and I pulled, relaxing our pace, rutting myself up with purpose to rotate in a circle at his clothed tip. The noise from his throat wasn’t human, and I felt heavy and light all at the same time when his thumb dug into my chin just under my lower lip. 

 “Wanna help you,” he rumbled. “Will you let me? Won’t you do that for me?” 

 I nodded, wordlessly, and with both hands tight on my hips, he tugged us further back until he was against the pillows, and me, repositioned above him. He pulled us down and we built a rhythm against his thigh, the determination in his stitched brow as he did half the work making it even sexier. He was almost needier than me. There was an urgency to his strong hands as they hiked up my dress, fingertips dancing around and just beneath the band of my underwear. He didn’t pull it off, just gently pushed my hips up and down, then harder, faster, to the damp patch already on his slacks. I was buzzing, every inch of me, the wound coil growing bigger, tighter, the build of release making my heart race. He stared at me as we moved together.

 “Tha’s it. So good at this,” he mumbled. “So beautiful.” 

 My breath caught, and his wide eyes watched wondrously as I moved frenzied above him. His chest rose, bits of tattoo spilling past the white button-down collar. My hand clutched his shirt as I felt myself begin to peak. This was as intimate as I’ve been with someone, and the pressure of being seen through his eyes like this was a lot of pressure. I didn’t want to think about how many other girls had been in this position before. What he spoke to them, how they looked, what they’ve done, or how recently they’d done it. His hand cupped my face and brought me down, lips claiming me to the point of bruising and silencing voiceless thoughts. The pull of his lips, and the sturdiness of his thigh made me whimper. My swollen bud hit his clothed cock with each surge upwards, his hands guiding me, making sure my breath hitched each time. And each time, I’d feel him tense. Again, and again, just knowing his thick hard cock was against me, right against me, almost…

 “Almost… Harry…” 

 “Y/N,” he rasped. I felt his hot gaze as I shuddered above him. He kissed me, slow, swallowing another whimper as a current of electricity ran from the crown of my head to my toes. His hands helped me ride out my high, slowly coming to a halt. 

 He opened his arms, letting me cuddle up against his chest. Silence stretched on over quiet breathing. “Been waiting a long time for that,” he finally mumbled. I quirked an eye open, realizing he’d been watching me. I almost didn’t recognize his eyes. For once, they seemed sated. Unhaunted. The clouds had seemed, for a moment, to have parted. “To see you cummm.” He hummed the last word, leaning down and nuzzling the nook of my neck. Still nuzzling, he quirked half his face to look at me. We shared a long kiss, then a shorter one to my forehead. “You’re magnificent.” 

 Though I hadn’t removed a stitch of clothing, I hadn’t felt more naked. And for all the times I’d felt embarrassed around Harry, at least in this moment, he made me feel comfortable about what we’d just done. We lay there, my scent now mingling with the rest of his in the room. I still felt him hard beneath my legs that were strewn across his lap, and I wondered if it was … painful. He stirred, placing one hand behind his head, the other wrapped around me. 

 I traced shapes into his chest. He hummed, smiling softly. It was his boyish smile. The one I’d hardly seen, the one that you want to wrap up and cuddle and protect from the world to keep this one second of pure happiness intact. I pecked the corner of his mouth and his smile broke, squeezing my side. “Thank you,” he mumbled. I checked to make sure his eyes were still closed when I looked down at the black slacks. Since I finished, he should, too. I swallowed nervously as my fingers traced lower, down the button down as I tried to remember the porn Renny and I had watched together one late summer night. His eyelashes fluttered open, and he watched me, curiously, darkly, until I stopped at the tip of his pants. I slipped my fingers beneath the belt, just barely feeling the coarseness of hair before he took my wrist in his hand. He practically hissed and I stilled, not noticing I was holding my breath. I couldn’t possibly be doing this wrong…

 His index finger stroked the top of my hand, and I relaxed. 

 He looked at me gently. “Tonight was for you. S’all I wanted.” His touch was just as gentle, and he placed his thumb between my lips, running over them gently. I didn’t want him to see me as some pure untouched thing he should be scared to do anything with. My lips parted as seductively as I could make them appear, and I moved to let his finger in my mouth, but he cheekily closed my lips instead. 

 He stroked my cheek, almost giggling at my attempt. “This just isn’t how I picture it happening.” 

 The way his eyes were memorizing my lips told me he’d thought about this before, but I didn’t miss that he said how, and not where. Muffled EDC music vibrated his door, and faraway voices travelled through his open window from the yard below. The cops were waiting there, too. Was that the situation he was referring to? 

 “You deserve a lot, Y/N.” 

 I heard the hesitancy in his voice, some unforeseen disappointment he wouldn’t just spell out for me. “What’re you saying.” 

 “Just that there’s few things I want t’be sober for these days.”

 The thought hit my stomach like the sharpened blade of a knife, and it hurt worse than any wound from my nightmares. “Why would you say something like that?” I demanded.

 “Because it’s true.” His eyes searched mine, and I saw the sadness pulling him in. Like the tumultuous water of the middle of the ocean spirally inwards into itself. A treacherous water hole that’d carry you into its deepest abyss.

 I shook my head as if to find a way out, as if that would clear away what I was seeing. “I never… know what’s going on with you,” I admitted. I thought to the interaction with Lionel and Samantha. “Is home life really that bad?” 

 “What home?” He huffed when I looked at him. “M’serious. I feel more alone when I walk in there than I do when I’m here. And nobody even fucking knows me here.” 

 “Everyone knows you.” 

 “You’re smarter than that, Y/N.” 

 “What’d you take tonight, hm?” I cooed. My hand traced the dark circles under his eyes, and he leant against my touch before looking to the window, still allowing me to touch him. No doubt from whatever stimulant or depressant he’d taken, his words had been more candid than ever before. 

 “A cocktail of sorts. Will fucking regret it in the mornin’. Probably.” 

 He looked back to me, and I didn’t have time to wipe the concern from my face. “Hey, don’t look at me like that. It’s okay. It doesn’t matter,” he stated.

 He really believed it when he said it, and the way there didn’t seem to be enough energy left in him made me settle back in his arms with a frown. Because it did matter. It mattered a lot. A few moments later, he squeezed my sides. “You didn’t answer my question,” he mumbled. 

 “What question?” 

 He waited until I looked up at him, and even then he was hesitant. His voice was quiet when he spoke, intimate, so if even if someone was standing at the foot of the bed they couldn’t hear what he was about to ask. 

 “Why do you want me, Y/N?” 

 The vulnerable question hung in the air. And though it was presumptuous of him to ask, he wasn’t wrong. His eyes read me like a book he’d read a hundred times over. He saw me. I swallowed, my brain and heart at an all-out war. Unfortunately for me, they captured my tongue in a stale-mate. “I don’t know what I want.”

 And it was true. The dilemma was the following:

The only thing my body wanted was him. 

But my brain didn’t know if that’s what I should be     wanting anymore.  

And my heart was left in the middle of them both, not     sure what it was feeling. 

 I felt him shrug. “I get it. I have so many opinions shouting at me in my head right now. About soccer, my fucked family, about” - he threw his hands between us.  

 After Niall had greeted me at the door, I was sure Harry had talked about us in some capacity. But how many people had opinions on our relationship? “Let me guess. Viv shares her opinion about us.” 

 “I don’t listen to hers.” 

 “But hey, at least she fucks you right.” 

 He sucked in a breath, shaking his head. “I didn’t mean that.” 

 “But it’s true, right? So no need to apologize.” 

 The room froze over. Just the thought of her whispering in his ear was enough to trigger an entire week’s worth of pent-up animosity. 

 “So maybe people are confused why Viv and I aren’t together but I couldn’t give a fuck about what they think. I fucking hate that we’re even talking about her right now.”

 “What do they say?” 

 He rolled his eyes, hurriedly slanting his voice, “Viv’s gorgeous mate, she clearly wants you. What the fuck are you doing now?” 

 I flinched. He noticed. “Look, I seriously hate talking about this. Can we talk about the fact that I didn’t invite anyone tonight?” 

 “Aw, was Viv busy?”

 “Alright, stop.” 

 A chill shot down my spine at the rejection. As much as I wanted to appreciate the fact he didn’t invite anyone, it didn’t help. This wasn’t helping at all. “I’m sorry if I want to talk about your relationships that directly affect me,” I said, rolling out of his arms.

 “Y/N, please. It’s not like that.” His voice was tired, pleading, coaxing me to forget. 

 “But why are you like this? Why did you just say what you did to me?”

 “You asked me-”

 “It was very belittling.” I changed my voice to a dopey British accent, “Viv’s gorgeous what the fuck are you doing with Y/N?” I ignored his scowl. “Really, thanks for the best compliment of the night.” I pushed against his chest, annoyed. “And why are you being like this now? All cuddly and-”

 “It’s not one-sided.” 

 I felt my cheeks heat. “Not tonight. But it’s one-sided any other time.”   

 “S’that what you really think of me?” He pulled me closer, and I fought the urge to twist away. His forehead pressed into my hair. “Firstly, you’re fucking beautiful Y/N. You have to know this. And you have to know you’re important to me. And secondly…”

 “Thirdly,” I corrected.

 His eyes turned somber. “They’re watching,” he mumbled, pleading. “This is hard for me, too.” 

 The gang, the cops, both, whichever it was, it didn’t matter. The effect was the same. No matter how special he claimed I was to him, we always went in circles. Maybe he had gotten it right. Maybe it was better for both of us if we weren’t together. “Why is it so hard then?” I whispered. 

 “Nothing good comes easy.”

 I remained silent. It was a cop-out response.

 He ran a hand down his face and sat up. “Because I’m fucked! I’m fucked, Y/N and there’s only so many people I can hide from. And you aren’t one of them.” 

 It was the most candid he’d ever been with me, without revealing anything at all.

 A knock sounded at the door. 

 I went to move, but he kept me against him, covering my ears as he shouted- 

 “FUCK OFF!!” 

 But even with his hands over my ears, it wasn’t very muted. The knock grew louder, more obnoxious. 

 “Sorry,” he grumbled, moving to open the door. When it opened, a boy wearing a snapback around the same height as Harry leant against the doorframe.

 “Wassup, man-” Snapback almost burst in.

 Harry’s back went stiff as the stranger’s snapback practically poked Harry in the eye. If their overcompensating confidence and too-familiar smile told me anything – freshmen. At least Snapback’s friend wore a Bond-inspired bow-tie t-shirt.

 Harry put a hand to Snapback’s chest, backing him back out of the room. They watched me walk up behind him.

 “Hey, relax man, we just wanted to get some zombies,” Bowtie bargained. 

 “You’ve got some fucking balls,” he snarled.

 My ears pricked. He was looking for the same thing, then. From Harry. My heart sunk to the lowest part of my belly after remembering why I’d come here in the first place. The sliver of hope I’d had was that maybe what Zayn had witnessed was just Harry’s past. A summer blunder. A summer fling with an illegal hobby. You know, some kids did drugs, some kids sold drugs... It was a ridiculously stupid comparison now that I thought about it. But still, I had hope. Now my undeniable denial was being shred up right in front of me.

 The cops, the gang, the drugs circulating campus…

 Harry had made his bed, and I was lying in it. 

 I squeezed past him.

 “Wait, are you leaving?” He still blocked his doorway.

 I ignored the pang of guilt I felt at his boyish disappointment. He looked at me, body still intimidatingly rigid, but his eyes, impossibly soft. Snapback tried to move past him again and Harry whipped his head back with a growl. “Get the fuck out of here.” 

 “Excuse me?” Bowtie came closer, puffing out his muscled chest. Testosterone, angst and alcohol were never the best combination. I grew nervous at the tension, looking from my escape at the end of the hall, back to Harry. 

 “C’mon, we have the cash. We’ll pay double!” Snapback whined, cornering him. 

 The words made me nauseous, conjuring the image of Viv sliding Harry the cash. I didn’t want to see this again. I didn’t want to see anything again.

 “I don’t do that shit anymore.” He strode through their barricade, determined, but Bowtie tugged him back. His nostrils flared and I could tell he was trying to keep his cool. He could ruin these guys if he wanted to. I don’t know why he was letting them keep him. But I also didn’t know why I didn’t run away. It was like watching a train wreck seconds before it happened.

 I stood alone, in the center of the hall, the only person on Harry’s horizon. A lighthouse hoping to steer the sailor home.

 “C’mon, please man, everyone’s talking about them. We just need one,” Snapback exhorted. He put up his hands, pleading. “We’ll split one. We’ll seriously cut it in half.” 

 Even from here, I could see the muscles in his neck tense. I tried doing to him what he did to everyone else. I trapped him, wide-eyed, anchoring him to me. He didn’t break our stare.

 As if each word scraped against his skull, “I said I don’t do that shit.”

 “That’s a fucking joke. Mark got some last week,” Bowtie barked.

 I saw the moment I lost him. In what world I thought I could be enough to harbor him, I had no idea. Harry snapped, kicking the steroid-pumped kid so hard in the knee, it knocked him down. It wasn’t a broken bone, but it’d leave one hell of a bruise.  

 “Dude, are you crazy?!” Snapback cried. 

 Harry raised his fist, bringing it flying. I gasped and hid my face. But I didn’t hear an impact. I faced them again.

 Harry’s fist froze inches before his cheek. Facing what would have been a badly broken nose, Bowtie shook on the floor. Slowly, ever so slowly, Harry relaxed his hovering fist and folded his arms, squatting next to the quivering guy. “You’re fucking welcome I was in a good mood ‘fore you came, otherwise I wouldn’t be acting so polite.”  

 The squeak of a floorboard shook Harry back to Earth. He caught me walking away and his whole body straightened, once again hyper-focused on me, trying to tune in and trap me exactly where I stood. Taking advantage of his distraction, Snapback and Bowtie ran for it. Bowtie limped, running into me and knocking me off-balance as he passed.

 In a second, it was just us. 

 “Y/N,” he began, walking towards me cautiously. 

 “No.” 

 He stopped in his tracks. He was tall, but his shoulders hung in despondent defeat.

 “You were right, Harry.” 

 I could see how tired he was. I could see the broken pieces fitting into something beautiful. He looked so sad and regretful, I already felt guilty for saying,

 “You can’t hide anymore.” And with one last look at the broken boy before me, “You are fucked.” 

 Suddenly, the beer on the floor was just stale and sticky. The couches were filthy from strangers’ mistakes. And the air would never be clear. Harry had been right. This entire house was filled with people who didn’t care and if they did, they were trying to forget; a place more empty than if it were vacant. It was a mess just like the boy living in it. And just like the grand house, impressive at first glance, not all of his parts were beautiful.

 I ignored the way his broken pieces seemed to shatter as soon as I said it and the way it hurt me ten-fold. I ignored him calling out my name as I maneuvered through the blur of bodies, until I lost his voice on the dance floor. I could breathe better outside and I walked past the cops without acknowledging them. 

 From complete chaos to relative quiet, my ears rung, filling the new silence.

 Maybe this was the last time we’d speak. Maybe this was how it all should’ve ended that first day in September. Because in that house, that wasn’t the Harry I thought I’d knew. That was a boy far-gone, confused, and I was falling down with him. I was ANGRY. I PITIED him. And I was angry for feeling something else I should never have felt for him.

 Somehow, in this fuzzy ringing world buzzing with heated thoughts and cop lights that blurred my vision, I heard a notepad scribble as soon as I passed a squad car. 

 Lucky for me, Momma always said I had selective hearing.

part 21

[shivayabless]

1. What is a Rudraksha?

Rudraksha (also called as Rudraksh) are dried seeds of a tree, which grows in select locations of South East Asia, botanically known as Elaeocarpus Ganitrus. It is also called “Tears of Shiva” and there are many legends connected to Lord Shiva that describe its origin. The word Rudraksha comes from "Rudra" (name of Shiva) and "Aksha" meaning tears.

2. Does it bring luck?

Yes, Shiva Purana specially describes that Lakshmi stays where Rudraksha is. The aura of a Rudraksha wearer is large and he attracts good luck and opportunities. The different mukhi Rudraksha specifically bring health, luck, abundance, courage, protection and knowledge.

3. What are the benefits of wearing a Rudraksha?

Rudrakshas (also called as Rudraksh) are very supportive in maintaining physical and mental balance. For spiritual seekers, it supports to enhance one’s spiritual growth. Its curative properties have been utilized worldwide for a number of physical, mental and psychosomatic illnesses. More information provided in the Benefits page.

4. Who can wear Rudraksha?

Anyone, irrespective of gender, cultural, ethnic, geographical or religious background can wear Rudraksha. They are intended for persons at any stage in life irrespective of mental and physical condition. It can be worn by children, students, the elderly and ill for many benefits.

5. What is the life of Rudraksha beads?

Could be any number of years. If well protected, can be passed on from generation to generation.

6. Can we wear in hands?

Rudraksha work powerfully as bracelets and arm bands and are most convenient to wear this way. Ancient texts speak about wearing Rudraksha on different parts of the body.

7. Does it have any medical use?

Yes, Rudraksha is classified as a seed of ELAEOCARPACEAE family and has many medicinal properties. It is widely used in preparation of Ayurvedic medicines. Since it works on empowering Chakras, it protects body from diseases caused due to chakra imbalance.

8. How to choose the bead size of a 5 Face mala?

They are of the same quality; it is just that it's a question of convenience. The smaller ones cost more simply because the rudraksha is not plucked from a tree, they wait for it to fall down, fully ripe and fall down. So, it is much harder to pick up the smaller beads in the mountain so they cost more; otherwise they're about the same.

9. How to condition a new Rudraksha? 

To condition new Rudraksha beads, immerse them in ghee (clarified butter) for 24 hours and then soak them in full-fat milk for an additional 24 hours. Wash it with water and wipe the beads with a clean cloth. Do not wash them with soap or any cleaning material. Due to this conditioning, the color of the Rudraksha may be altered and it is perfectly normal as these are natural beads. It is also normal that some color of the thread may also come out during the conditioning. Conditioning should be done every six months. You can also wear without any conditioning.  

10. When can I wear Rudraksha Mala? 

The mala can be worn all the time. You can even wear it when you sleep or shower. If you take cold water baths and are not using any chemical soap, it is especially good for the water to flow over it and upon your body. But if you are using chemical soaps and warm water, it becomes brittle and will crack after sometime, so it is best to avoid wearing it at such times.

11. Do Rudraksha always have 108 beads?

No. Traditionally, the number of beads is 108 plus one, the guru. It’s recommended that an adult should not wear a mala with less than 84 beads, plus the guru - but any number over that is fine! Depending on the size of the Rudraksha seeds, the mala will have varying number of beads like 36, 54, etc.

12. Are the smallest Rudraksha seeds more spiritual by nature?

All Panchamukhi Rudraksha have the same quality, impact, and benefits regardless of the size. You can choose any of the sizes depending on your preference. The smaller beads are rare to find hence the difference in the price.

13. Can I share my Rudraksha with someone else?

No, you should not share your Rudraksha with anyone else, since the Rudraksha adapts to the wearer.

14. People ask, Can ladies wear?

Yes, of course. According to our authentic scriptures, Rudraksha can be worn at all times by all persons irrespective of gender, caste or creed.  Even animals benefit by wearing Rudraksha beads.

15. Is it that only Hindus can wear?

No, all religions can wear. Chakras are there in human body irrespective of caste and creed. Ancient texts have not limited wearing of these beads to any caste, religion or sex.

16. Non - Veg and alcohol have become the part of our food. Are we therefore disqualified to wear Rudraksha?

Ancient texts do not mention Non-veg and alcohol being prohibitive for a Rudraksha wearer. Make Rudraksha a part of your body. Your faith will bring grace in your life. Slowly you will find that you are moving away from non - Veg and alcohol as these tamasic items distract a person from spiritual path.

17. How can we tell if a Rudraksha has lost its vibrancy?

Rudraksha have a certain quality by nature, so it is important to wear them on the body in a way that treats the Rudraksha with respect and care. Rudraksha should not be worn like jewelry and kept aside later. When a person decides to wear a Rudraksha, it should become like a part of them.

If someone decides not to wear their Rudraksha for an extended period of time, it should be kept preferably in a pooja room.

There are certain situations that are not conducive for Rudraksha. If you don’t wan a Rudraksha  it should be buried in the soil, if possible, or offered to a body of water, like a river or a well.

18. If a bead of the mala break, do I need to buy a whole new mala?

Cracked beads on a Rudraksha mala should be removed, as their energy will be altered and may not be conducive to the wearer. Individual beads need not be replaced as long as the total bead count on the mala is 84, plus the guur, for people who are age 14 or older. Any number above this is fine to wear for those who are 14 years or older.

19. Should the Rudraksha mala beads always touch each other?

To experience the full benefits of Rudraksha, the beads should always touch each other in a mala. This has to do with the energy movement in the mala. It is important not to thread the mala too tightly or else the beads may become pressed against each other and crack. Gently strung, with all the beads touching, is ideal.

20. Does conditioning Rudraksha “re-energize” them? Or is it only to protect against brittleness/cracking?

Conditioning is meant to help prolong the lifespan of Rudraksha by preventing them from becoming brittle and cracking. Being immersed in ghee and milk every 6 months, and sesame oil every 1 to 2 years, is beneficial for the integrity of the Rudraksha. Conditioning does not “re-energize” Rudraksha. Rudraksha beads are of a certain quality by nature alone.

21. After conditioning, Rudraksha feels oily with a slight smell; can anything be done for this?

After conditioning Rudraksha, it may be slightly slippery and may smell of ghee and milk. Rudraksha can be covered with vibhuti as the final conditioning step to aid in removing any excess oil. To do so, take some vibhuti in your palm and gently roll the Rudraksha in it. Rudraksha should not be washed with water or soap before doing this. Vibhuti should be applied to the Rudraksha directly after removing it from the milk. 

22. When conditioning a new Rudraksha, there is sometimes a yellow leakage coming from the beads - is this normal?

The first time a Rudraksha is conditioned after purchasing, there may be some leakage from the beads. The color can vary but is usually yellow or black. This is due to a protective process where mud is used to cover the Rudraksha after receiving it from the growers. When mud is applied to Rudraksha, it ensures the seed is maintained in its original condition, exactly how it was when it came from the tree. The differences in color depend on where the mud originated.

23. Are Rudraksha seeds supposed to get darker in colour the longer I wear them? Why does this happen? 

Rudraksha tend to become darker with time because of the substances it absorbs; this will be a combination of the ghee, milk, and sesame oil used for periodic conditioning, as well as your natural body oil and sweat. This is a natural process; it does not have to do with sadhana or yogic practices.

24. How do we choose a good Rudraksha?

Many get confused with the shape and size of Rudraksha. One should not seriously worry about it. Just see that the mukhis are well defined, are end to end, corns and contours are natural and there are no cracks along the mukhis. The bead has to be lustrous and healthy and devoid of insect holes.

25. My Rudraksha has few thorns broken. Will it work?

Ans: Thorns on the Rudraksha bead surface tend to fall off over time as you wear them. But this does not make the bead lose efficacy as the power of the bead is from the seeds within and lose few thorns (like losing few hair from the skin), does not reduce its effectiveness. However if the Rudraksha bead gets infested with worms who eat through the seeds, one needs to discard them.

26. My Rudraksha has developed cracks on the surface. Will it work?

Ans: Many times the crack develop due to expansion or contraction of the exterior wooden surface due to change in weather. Wash the bead in water often and oil it every few days. It is possible that the cracks will fill up and the bead would work as good

27. In what other way can Rudraksha control blood pressure?

Take a glass of water. Dip two pieces of five Mukhi in it, preferably after sun set. Drink it when you get up in the morning, before any other intake. Do not use copper glasses.

28. How to test the genuinely of the beads?

Tests like the one which sinks in water is original and the one that floats is duplicate are not right. Even the ones made of wood with some lead impregnated in it can sink comfortably in water. The best way is to procure from reliable source.

29. How long it takes to feel some effect?

Normally within 45 days of wearing Rudraksha rosary you can start feeling the positive change. In 90 days you can feel much better. Thereafter it will work continuously giving benefits.

30. Can one wear the combination of different mukhi’s?

Yes, one can wear the combination of all the beads .The individual powers of the beads can be felt simultaneously. One can also wear a pendant of any specific facet of beads. Either more number of a particular facet of beads or a mix of different facet of beads can be worn.

31. Are Rudraksha beads used only for meditation? Is it meant only for people of certain background? 

By wearing these beads one gets tranquility, peace of mind, focus and concentration. This kind of state of mind is equally ideal for meditation as well as for any other mind related activity by modern day professionals. Concentration and focus are the most important requirement for success in any field. Apart from 5 Faceted Rudraksha Beads there are available from 1 Facet to 38 Facet Beads. From 15 Facet to 21 Facet it is available though not commonly. From 22 to 38 Facets it is rare. Other Beads apart from 5 Facets are more powerful and have certain specific use. These different faceted beads selectively alter personality and mindset in a positive way. Rudraksha is meant for entire humanity. Rudraksha can rejuvenate our Mind, Body and Soul, make us perform to our full potential and enhance our overall quality of life. The anti aging property of Rudraksha is well experienced. Rudraksha, the Electro Magnetic Beads, are the Beads with a utility.

On seeing such powers of Rudraksha beads many considered it to have some supernatural powers, divine and Godsend. There have been countless mentions of these beads and its powers in various ancient Indian and Buddhist scriptures

32. What is special about Rudraksha beads?

Asians have used Rudraksha beads traditionally. Asian Yogis and Monks found that merely wearing the Rudraksha beads gave them astonishingly tremendous amount of tranquility, concentration that helped them meditate for a long period of time with spectacular control over their mind.

33. What is a mukhi?

A mukhi is a face of the bead. So one mukhi would have one face and one seed. Ten mukhi would have ten faces and ten seeds.  

34. Is there any difference between the Nepali and Indonesian rudraksha in terms of energy?

No. The size of the Indonesian (Javanese) bead is much smaller than the Nepali version, but they have similar energy levels. 

35. How do we recognize or identify head and tail part of a Rudraksha beads?  

To do this physically take any Mukhi bead and place the flattest end on a smooth table surface so it stands squarely by itself without any tilting from one side or the other. The end sitting on the table surface will be the tail part of Rudraksha. Normally the mouth part of the Rudraksha can be a bit pointed or elongated so it will not stand squarely on its mouth and it will lean to one side or the other

[kwanisms]

English is My Favorite Subject - 1

⤑ genre: smut, college au, enemies to lovers ⤑ pairing: Chan x Reader (female) ⤑ warning: *ahem* smut, S I N, soft dom!Chan, rough sex, phone sex, sexting,  slight degradation, mention of alcohol, foul language ⤑ summary: After taking the English tutoring position at your university, hell comes to you in the form of Lee Chan. He needs help passing his exams and tutoring is his only option. As your time with him passes, you come to realize that maybe he’s not the cocky and arrogant asshole you previously assumed. ⤑ word count: 19.2k (lmao I’M SORRY. This got out of hand)

⤑ {01} | 02 | 03

a/n: I’ve been sitting on this WIP for literally M O N T H S. So I’m finally posting it because Chan is hot asf (despite being 6 years his senior). And most importantly he’s legal What was supposed to be one part has morphed into something else entirely and it’s now going to be three parts (kill me lmao) so here, enjoy! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. IF YOU CAN, READ THIS ON DESKTOP. The tumblr app has been screwing up and getting rid of my read more lines. ~K♡

You would have never taken this position if you knew beforehand that he needed a tutor. You would have been content not taking the job but unfortunately, you needed the money and it looked great on your resume. The moment he walked into the room provided by the university, your worst nightmare began; being stuck in a room with Lee Chan for two hours, twice a day every week.

You cursed whatever deity deemed it necessary to send this demon your way.

It wasn’t that you didn’t like Lee Chan; you hated him. Your disdained was mirrored when Chan entered the room and saw you sitting there and immediately swore under his breath. Or maybe it was because he hadn’t seen or spoken to you since the party where you threw a drink in his face and called him a tasteless asshat.

He leaned up against the wall, his backpack slung over one shoulder and narrowed his eyes at you. “Tell me this isn’t real,” he said, his voice deeper than you remembered. He’d grown over the few years since you’d last spoken. He wasn’t the baby faced freshman you remembered. You shook your head. 

“Unfortunately, it is. I’m your tutor, and seeing as you already paid for your lessons, we might as well get this over with. The sooner we finish, the sooner we don’t have to see each other,” you said as you straightened up your side of the table.

Chan sat across from you, dropping his bag on the floor with a desolate thud. “Alright, teach, what are we learning?” he asked dropping his previous demeanor for a pleasant one. The cheerful tone took you by surprise and you decided to shake it from your head. “Well, looking at your grades, we clearly-” you began before Chan interjected.

“Wait, you have my grades?!” he snapped and you stared at him. “Uh, yes? I’m your tutor. Your professor sent your grades over so I knew what exactly you needed help with?” you said in a harsh tone, making it painfully obvious. Chan clicked his tongue and looked away at the wall littered with flyers. “Fine,” he said, his jaw clenched before he turned back to you.

He was pissed. You could see it in his eyes and if you weren’t the same person you were now, you might have coward in fear, but luckily, you weren’t shy and intimidated easily. You stared back with as much ferocity as you could muster, staring him down as if you were an alpha wolf beating a lower one into submission with your gaze. Chan eventually gave in and looked down.

Pleased with your show of dominance you continued. “As per your grades, it seems as if you need the most help with grammar. Your professor noted that your comprehension of the language and vocabulary is excellent which is great. Less for us to work on. You just need to focus on the grammar section,” you said as you flipped through the file you had made.

“You sound awfully glad about that,” Chan said with a sneer and you sighed, rolling your eyes. “It means we have to spend less time together. If you needed help with everything, we would be meeting everyday from now until your exams. Instead, twice a week, two hours a day until the week before your exam is sufficient enough. The week of, however, we will have to up it to an hour everyday until the day before. This is the only reasonable schedule I see,” you said.

Chan huffed, crossing his arms. “So do I get to pick the days?” he asked and you nodded. “Yes. I know you have extracurricular activities, as do I, so we will have to work together to make the schedule work. I don’t like this any more than you do, but this is where we are and we better make the best of this until we can go back to our lives without seeing each other,” you said watching him as he clenched his jaw. After a few moments, he nodded silently.

“Alright, just because I have to pass this class. I need to, for baseball,” he said and you nodded. “Of course,” you said shifting in your seat and opening his folder to a page labeled “schedule” in all capital letters. “Let’s get this schedule figured out and then we can go. I won’t make you start today,” you said with a grimace. Chan nodded and leaned forward to look at the paper.

The two of you had agreed to meet on Wednesdays before dinner and Sundays around 9:30 in the morning. You jotted the schedule down as well as Chan’s number since you would need it in case something came up and you needed to contact him. After finalizing the schedule, Chan sat back in his chair. “Can I go now?” he asked and you nodded without looking up.

You heard the chair feet scrape against the tiled floor as he stood up and bent over to grab his bag. “So,” he said and you looked up. “See you Wednesday?” he asked and you nodded. “Yup, Wednesday,” you said and he turned without a word and opened the door, hesitating in the doorway. He turned to look at you and you waited for him to speak. Instead he shook his head and called out a, “later,” before leaving you in the small room alone.

You could tell this was going to be a rough six weeks.

The following Sunday, you woke up early, rolling out of bed to head for your bathroom and shower. After cleaning and drying off, you got ready for the day, dressing in some comfortable clothes as you would be spending two hours sitting at a table, helping the person you couldn’t stand the most learn the language he hated the most. After leaving the warmth and safety of your dorm, you braved the cool, dreary morning to head for the student center.

It had rained the night before, leaving behind little puddles on the streets and sidewalks. As you neared your destination, the promise of coffee and a muffin in your mind, you pulled open the door and stepped in. Your phone buzzed in your sweatpants pocket, alerting you to a new text. Pulling it out, you opened the texting app. It was from Chan.

[2019/09/29] L.Chan [09:20]: Hey, I’m gonna be like 10 minutes late.

Letting out a sigh, you typed in a quick response before getting in the nearly nonexistent line for your morning refreshments.

You [09:21]: K

With that taken care of, you turned your attention toward the barista behind the counter as he graced you with a warm smile, the dimples in his cheeks growing. “Hey (Y/N),” he greeted you cheerfully. You returned the smile and replied with a, “I don’t know how you’re so cheerful all the time, Namjoon. It’s so admirable.” He smiled wider, dropping his gaze before fixing his eyes on you again.

“What’s the point in being miserable and grumpy all the time? If I’m positive and upbeat, maybe I can pass that off to other students stopping by to get their coffee,” he said with a shrug. You didn’t need to peruse the menu on the chalkboard behind him. You always got the same thing.

“So, are you going to switch it up on me,” he asked pressing on the screen in front of him. “Or are you going to be as predictable as always and get your usual?” he asked and you placed your hand on your chest. “You wound me with your words. It’s not my fault you make the best caramel macchiato and serve the most delicious banana nut muffins. This is your doing,” you playfully accused him as he rang up your order with a chuckle. He gave you his employee discount, something he did occasionally.

“Your total is $5.32,” he said and you handed over the change. Namjoon cashed you out and started on your coffee. “I forgot to ask,” he said turning to you. “Did you want that iced or hot?” he asked and you smiled. “Make it iced today,” you said before pulling out your phone to check your texts. You had a couple from your best friend, Jeongguk, and another from Chan.

[2019/09/29] Kookie [09:24]: are you awake? Kookie [09:24]: I want to go get pancakes Kookie [09:24]: and you’re the only person who will go with me Kookie [09:25]: ): pls be awake. I really want pancakes. You laughed before typing in your reply. You [09:25]: Sorry Gguk. I have a tutor lesson this morning. Raincheck?

His reply was instant.

Kookie [09:25]: UUUGGGHHHHH U SUCK ):< Kookie [09:25]: I’ll just go alone and order your favorite pancakes and eat them all! Kookie [09:26]: that’ll show you! You [09:26]: well, you’ll be paying for them lol I would hope you eat them Kookie [09:27]: …i did not think this through. ): how long is the lesson? You [09:27]: two hours… kill me. Kookie [09:27]: …I hate you D:< I’ll just go with Tae and Jimin You [09:28]: D: but pancakes are our thing!! Kookie [09:28]: NOT ANYMORE ):< You [09:29]: y must u hurt me like this? 💔 Kookie [09:29]: because u won’t go get pancakes with me 😤 You [09:29]: I have a lesson! Kookie [09:29]: E X C U S E S You rolled your eyes and left him on read to open Chan’s message. L.Chan [09:24]: Are you already at the student center? You [09:29]: yes. I’m here.

Namjoon’s voice brought you out of your thoughts and you pocketed your cell phone before stepping forward to grab your order. “Have a good day, (Y/N),” he said with a pleasant smile, one you returned. “You too, Namjoon!” you said before heading for the tutor room. You unlocked it with the key you were given by administration and set up your space. You unpacked your bag that contained an english book, the accompanying workbook, Chan’s file, as well as a small array of pencils, pens,  highlighters, and whiteout. You opened your bag and pulled out the muffin before digging in.

Your phone buzzed on the table and you checked the notification. It was Chan.

[2019/09/29] L.Chan [09:30]: I don’t think I can make it.

You felt your blood boil and set your muffin down to type in your answer.

You [09:31]: and why not?

His reply came quickly.

L.Chan [09:31]: I’m not feeling well.

You narrowed your eyes before shooting a text to Jeongguk.

[2019/09/29] You [09:32]: hey, can I ask you something? Kookie [09:32]: that depends, are you going to cancel your lesson and come get pancakes with us? Kookie [09:32]: [image1279.jpg] You [09:32]: 1. Who tf took that picture?? You [09:33]: 2. 🙄 I’m serious, Gguk Kookie [09:33]: fiiiiine. what’s up? You [09:33]: was there a party last night? Kookie [09:34]: uhhh, not that I attended, why? You [09:34]: trying to catch someone in a lie Kookie [09:35]: ask Mingyu. I know you have his number and he’ll tell you anything. You [09:36]: ...shit u rite. Thanks. Kookie [09:36]: CANCEL YOUR LESSON AND COME GET PANCAKES. Tae misses you ): Kookie [09:36]: I MISS U (Y/N) - Tae You [09:37]: gimme a sex You [09:37]: SEC* gdi Kookie [09:37]: I’ll give you all the sex 😉 - Jimin You [09:38]: 

Kookie [09:38]: D: - Jimin

You closed the thread with Jeongguk and opened Mingyu’s texts.

[2019/09/29] You [09:39]: Hey Gyu, are you awake?

Waiting for his response seemed to take forever but it was only a few minutes before he replied.

[2019/09/29] K.Mingyu [09:41]: yeah, what’s up? You [09:41]: was there a party last night? K.Mingyu [09:42]: yeah. It was at the Iota Nu Delta house. K.Mingyu [09:42]: The baseball team usually has their parties there after we win a game. You [09:42]: was the whole team there? K.Mingyu [09:43]: yeah! We all always go! We never miss an after game party! K.Mingyu [09:43]: why? You [09:43]: trying to catch someone in a lie. Thank you~ K.Mingyu [09:44]: …oh no. Am I in trouble? 😰 You [09:45]: not at all! ☺ you helped me. I’ll bring your fave to your next lesson~ K.Mingyu [09:46]: …ur the best tutor ever. ilysm 😍

You returned to Chan’s text.

[2019/09/29] You [09:47]: make sure to take some medicine for your hangover. I heard the party last night was a rager L.Chan [09:47]: i didn’t go to a party last night. You [09:48]: don’t lie to me. I expect to see you early on Wednesday or you can kiss your precious championship goodbye because i will not help you with your English course. L.Chan [09:48]: has anyone ever told you that you’re a vindictive bitch? You [09:49]: And make that three hours on Wednesday to make up for today. You [09:50]: have a good day~ 🤗

You closed his messages and got up, grabbing your things and packing them away before slinging your bag over your shoulder and sending a text to Jeongguk.

[2019/09/29] You [09:51]: wait for me. I’m coming for pancakes.

You got a notification for a new message and opened it.

[2019/09/29] [PANCAKE SQUAD] Kookie [09:52]: hello buttermilk bitches. Taehyungie [09:52]: ...don’t ever fucking call us that again. Minnie [09:53]: yeah that was weird. You [09:53]: G R O S S 🤢🤮 Minnie [09:53]: (Y/N)!! My baby~😍 Taehyungie [09:54]: she’s not ur baby Kookie [09:54]: N E WAY. Pancakes. Let’s get some. You [09:55]: I just gotta drop off my bag and I’ll be ready. Minnie [09:55]: cool, I’ll swing by on my way to pick the losers up. Taehyungie [09:56]: I live with you tho Kookie [09:56]: u better not pick (Y/N) up and forget us Jimin, istg Taehyungie [09:56]: I'm literally your roommate Minnie [09:56]: on my way (Y/N)~ Taehyungie [09:57]: JIMIN U ASS WAIT FOR ME You [09:57]: Okay!~

Your walk back to your dorm took no time at all and you were able to stash your bag and grab your wallet before heading back down to meet Jimin outside your building. Taehyung sat in the backseat with his arms crossed. He didn’t look happy. You made your way to Jimin’s car when he rolled the window down. “You’re up here with me, gorgeous!” he said and you opened the front passenger door to get in.

Jimin pulled out of the parking lot and made his way to Jeongguk’s building. “Why do you look like a mad owl, Tae?” you asked peering over your shoulder at him as he sulked. “He literally yelled at me when I tried to get in the front seat. ‘YOU CAN’T SIT THERE!’ ‘(Y/N) IS SITTING THERE!’ he was so mean. Like, I’m your roommate, does that mean nothing to you?” he asked looking at Jimin in the rear view mirror. Jimin laughed as he made the turn onto Jeongguk’s street.

“It does. But you aren’t a beautiful woman,” he said glancing up at the mirror. Taehyung huffed and sank lower in his seat. “You are a handsome man though,” you said looking back at Taehyung who smiled at you. “Thanks (Y/N),” he said as Jimin pulled to a stop and honked the horn. Jeongguk appeared moments later, running down the steps to the curb where the car waited.

He got in behind you and leaned forward to hug you against the seat. “I missed you,” he said, his face smashed against the back of your headrest muffling his voice. You laughed as you patted his arm. “You saw me two days ago,” you reminded him. “I know, but I’m used to seeing you everyday!” he said peering around the headrest at you.

The car ride was boisterous with the three of them yelling at each other and Jimin turning the music up on the stereo loud enough to drown out Taehyung and Jeongguk as they bickered. Jimin pulled into a space at the local breakfast cafe and the four of you hopped out. Jeongguk immediately rested his arm around your shoulder as he led the way into the cafe, Jimin and Taehyung brought up the rear.

This cafe had been your go to spot on Sunday mornings. It was a little off the beaten path so it was never hit with the post church crowd, especially when you went while services were going on. The hostess smiled at you as you entered. “Just four?” she asked and Jeongguk nodded while she grabbed four settings. “Booth, if possible!” Jimin added and she nodded, acknowledging his request.

She led the four of you through the cafe to the back corner to the only corner booth in the whole restaurant. You slid in, Jeongguk on the outside and Jimin next to you, Taehyung on the other side. The hostess set the menus down in front of you and told you that your server would be with you soon.

You looked over the menu, browsing the different pancake options. You usually got the same thing so you weren’t sure why you bothered looking at the menu. “What are you getting?” Jeongguk asked as you set your menu down. “The same thing I always get,” you said as the server arrived and asked for your drink orders. She left and returned moments later with an array of coffee, water, and juice.

You added sugar and cream to your coffee as she wrote down everyone’s orders and left to put them in. “So, who were you supposed to tutor this morning?” Jeongguk asked taking a sip of his banana milk. “Lee Chan,” you said taking a sip of your coffee. Jimin snorted into his own coffee. “On the baseball team?” he asked and you nodded. “He needs a tutor?” he asked stifling his laughter.

“As I recall, Jimin,” Jeongguk said glancing up at his friend. “You needed a tutor last year for math and had it not been for our very own (Y/N), you would have failed your exams. She didn’t even charge you for your lessons,” he added. Jimin’s ears turned red as he blushed and avoided his friends’ gazes. “Yeah, she charged me for my lessons!” Taehyung said leaning forward and glaring at you.

“She did charge me!” Jimin insisted and you agreed with a nod. “I did charge him for his lessons though. Not all of them, but I did that for you too,” you said looking at Taehyung. “I charged you for like 80 percent of them. Same with you,” you said as you looked over at Jeongguk. “So you charged us for only 80 percent of our lessons?” he asked and you nodded. “And it’s not even full price. Mingyu and Chan pay full price. I didn’t give a discount to anyone else,” you said taking another sip of coffee.

“That’s not true,” Taehyung said smirking at you and your heart sank. If he was about to call you out and reveal what you thought he was, you would never hear the end of it. “Who else did she give a discount to?” Jeongguk asked looking up at his friend. Taehyung’s smirk widened before he opened his mouth and said the two words that were certain to seal your fate and condemn you. “Kwon Soonyoung.”

“Really? Why Soonyoung?” Jeongguk asked looking at you. Taehyung chuckled before condemning you even further. “She has a crush on him.” Jimin whipped around to look at Taehyung before rounding on you. “Really?? Kwon Soonyoung?!” Jimin asked and you shushed him, peering anxiously around the cafe. “Yes. I had a crush on him. That was last semester!” you said quickly.

Taehyung snorted and shook his head. “Liar. I saw you fawning over him last week,” he said and you shot daggers at him with your eyes. If looks could kill. “Awww, our widdle (Y/N) is growing up so fast~!” Jeongguk said in a cooing voice as he pinched your cheek. You slapped his hand away and shot him a disgruntled look. He laughed and picked up his glass. “I’m just teasing, (Y/N),” he added.

Jimin took your hand and pressed it against his chest. “Feel that?” he asked and you looked from your hand against his shirt up to his face. The pained expression on his face present as he said dramatically, “that’s my heart breaking.” You scoffed and pulled your hand away. “Stop teasing me, guys,” you said and saw the server returning with your food. You had never been so happy to see a server in your life.

Once the food arrived, the boys couldn’t tease you anymore. You dug into your pancakes happily and ignored any questions hurled your way about Soonyoung and your obvious crush. “I just want to eat in peace,” you said looking at Jimin and Taehyung, the latter cackling softly as he cut up his pancakes into bite size pieces. The four of you continued to eat, speaking and joking occasionally.

When the bill came, the boys played Rock, Paper, Scissors to determine who would pay for breakfast. Jeongguk lost and had to pay for everyone. After paying the bill, the four of you made your way out of the building and towards the car where something, rather someone, caught your eye.

Lee Chan was getting out of a black sedan a few spaces behind Jimin’s car and with him was a strikingly beautiful woman. She had long straight black hair, very round eyes, a slim figure, and long legs. She wore a cute light pink dress with long sleeves, her legs painted in the espresso color of her tights and ankle high boots on her feet, giving her a much taller appearance. Chan’s eyes locked with yours and you felt your blood boil. First he cancels his appointment because he’s hungover and now this?

A smirk made an appearance on his face as he passed, cocking an eyebrow as if to say, ‘what?’ You narrowed your eyes and turned sharply from him to press yourself against Jeongguk, who had his arm around your shoulders. “Let’s get out of here,” you said to your friends, opening the back passenger door and getting in with Jeongguk. Jimin got into the driver’s seat and looked back to pout at you.

“You don’t want to sit up here with me?” he asked as Taehyung got in and you smiled. “I already rode up front. It’s someone else’s turn,” you said and Jimin glared at Taehyung who in turn gave him his big boxy smile before the ignition started and Jimin drove out of the parking lot. He headed back toward your dorm. “You sure you don’t wanna watch us practice?” Taehyung asked and you shook your head.

“I should study. Pretty sure my calculus professor is planning a pop quiz next class, so I want to be prepared,” you said and Jimin sighed loudly. “I just want you to come to one practice!” he said and you laughed, shaking your head. “Sorry, Minnie. I’ll be at the game though. I wouldn’t miss that for anything,” you added and when the car pulled to a stop you unbuckled your seatbelt.

“I’ll see you guys later.” You got out and waved as your friends pulled away before heading back up to your room to wrap yourself in a blanket and study. Seeing Chan had made you pretty mad. He was so damn smug and it irked you to no end. Who gave him the right? You were definitely not looking forward to his lesson next Wednesday.

The following Monday, you had stopped by to get your usual coffee and muffin. “(Y/N)!” What a surprise! What brings you here?” Namjoon asked jokingly and you rolled your eyes. “I came to see my favorite barista, of course!” you said as you approached the counter and Namjoon put your order in. You paid him and stepped aside to let the next person order, bumping into someone behind you.

You spun around, apologizing profusely when the breath was stripped from your lungs. You had run into Kwon Soonyoung, the same crush your friends had teased you about on Sunday. He smiled down at you, stunning you. God he was so handsome. 

“Hey, (Y/N)!” he said and you saw Chan’s face appear from behind Soonyoung. Of course they were together, you thought. They’re best friends. Chan rolled his eyes and looked away uninterestedly. “Sorry, Soonyoung,” you said breathlessly and he waved his hand, dismissing your apology. “Don’t be. I’m fine,” he said with a wink.

A small nervous giggle escaped your lips but Soonyoung didn’t seem to notice. Chan, however, definitely noticed. His eyes turned upon you, his eyebrow raised and the corner of his lips twitched as your cheeks flushed light pink. He finally join in the conversation. “You know (Y/N)?” he asked his friend, feigning interest. Soonyoung nodded smiling at you.

“(Y/N) was my tutor last semester. She helped my pass my English exams. She’s amazing,” he said, his praise causing you to choke on your own saliva. “I’m n-not. I just wanted to help,” you stammered. Again, either he didn’t notice or didn’t care, Soonyoung just smiled at you. Chan knew. He could see it in your face and your body language. You were really dreading his next lesson.

Wednesday came and passed and soon it was 5:45 pm. You sat in the tutor room and the door opened. Chan entered and you were glad he was at least on time. He sat down across from you and dropped his bag on the desk, not looking up from his phone. “Let’s get this over with,” he said popping a piece of gum. “Put your phone down, then,” you said and his eyes snapped up to yours.

They had a darkness to them but he did as you said and set his phone face down on the table surface. “So, what are we learning?” he asked and you nodded pulling out the work book. You pushed it toward him. “Let’s get started,” you said and Chan sighed before opening the workbook while you went over the key grammar points of the language. You tested his vocabulary and were pleased when he did well.

An hour passed by quickly in this form and you stopped for a bathroom break. “So,” Chan said as you walked down the hall of the student center toward the restrooms. “Does Soonyoung know you have a huge crush on him?” he asked and you nearly stumbled. “W-what?” you asked incredulously. “I do not,” you insisted and Chan laughed loudly. “I may be failing English, but I’m not stupid. I saw you. You like him,” he said with a smirk and you shook your head. “No,” you said adamantly.

“You definitely do. I can tell that much,” he said and you ignored him, heading for the safety of the women’s bathroom. He laughed as you hurried away and into the confines of the tiled room, the door swung shut behind you. You were mad at yourself for slipping up in front of Soonyoung, but you were more mad at Chan for teasing you about it. How dare he?

You did your business and washed your hands. Outside the bathroom, Chan was waiting for you, leaning against the wall while he typed on his phone. You froze as you watched him. He had a smirk on his face, looking at the screen. What was he doing? Was he telling Soonyoung right now? You would never be able to face Soonyoung again if Chan told him.

You stormed up to him and stopped a few feet from him. Chan looked up and his expression shifted, his smirk dropping immediately. “What?” he asked and you glared at him. “Don’t tell him anything or I swear I will make your lessons hell,” you said and the smirk returned. “Oh? What makes you think I haven’t already told him?” he asked crossing his arms, tucking his phone close to him.

Your heart leapt into your throat at the idea that he may have. “D-did you?” you asked and Chan laughed standing up straight and opening his messages before showing you his texts with Soonyoung. “No, I haven’t. But maybe I will,” he said and your fingers curled, balling your hands into fists. “Do it and I will up your lessons to three times a week, four hours each,” you threatened and Chan’s smirk fell again.

“You wouldn’t,” he said softly and this time a smirk crossed your features as you leaned in, looking at him. “Try me,” you dared and he gulped. “Fine. I won’t say anything,” he said and put his phone in his pocket. You stood straight before nodding once and making your way back to the room, Chan in tow.

The rest of the lesson passed easily, Chan falling into line and doing as you asked. At the end, when you were packing up he turned toward you as he reached the door. “(Y/N)?” he asked and you looked up. “Yes?” you asked and he hesitated. “Nothing,” he said and shook his head. “See you Sunday,” he called as he left you sitting in the room, confused as hell. What the hell was that?

“That’s so stupid! It makes no sense!” Chan shouted throwing his pencil down and you groaned, dropping your head into your hands. Two weeks has passed since these forsaken lessons began and at every instance, Chan was getting on your last nerve. He was either stubborn or just plain stupid if he had this much trouble grasping the concept.

“It’s how it’s supposed to be said!” you said, as equally frustrated. “Why?” he asked and you groaned. Not this again. “I don’t know! That’s just the rules!” you said angrily. “What rules?! English has no rules! It beats other languages up in dark alleys, then rifles through their pockets for loose grammar and spare vocabulary!” Chan shouted and you paused, staring at him.

“What?!” he yelled and before you could think, you burst into laughter. Chan stared at you bewildered. “What the hell is so funny?” he asked and you pointed at him. “What you just said!” you said in between laughs. His angry facade dropped as he broke into a smile and started laughing along with you. “Well it’s true!” he said and you wiped a tear from your eye. “I mean, yeah it is,” you agreed before looking down at the worksheet and then at your watch. “Let’s stop here,” you said looking up at him.

“What?” he asked. “Why?” he leaned forward. “We’ve been at his nearly two hours and I didn’t get to eat lunch earlier since I was running late,” you said as you began packing up your things. Chan watched as you stacked your papers and put them away. “Well, let’s go get something to eat,” he said beginning to pack his things up. You froze, staring at him. “Let’s?” you asked and Chan looked up from his bag.

“Yeah, I’ll buy,” he said as he zipped up his bag and got to his feet. You stuffed your things in your bag and slung the strap over your shoulder, standing up slowly. “You don’t have to do that,” you said softly. “I was just going to go back to my room to eat,” you admitted and Chan scoffed. 

“And what? Eat some instant ramen?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. You glared at him. “I’m offering to buy you real food, so come on,” he said and waved you to follow him. After a few minutes of hesitation, he poked his head around the door frame. “I’m not going to wait all day, come on,” he said and disappeared again.

You hurried out of the room after him. You followed him out of the student center and headed out to the parking lot. He led you over to a black sedan and you looked at him as he pulled the keys out and unlocked the doors. “Get in,” he said nodding at the car. You followed suit, opening the passenger door and sliding into the black interior of the car. 

Clicking your seatbelt into place, Chan started the car and pulled out of the parking space. He drove out of the lot, heading for a side street instead of the main road. “Where are we going?” you asked looking around at the residential area he drove through.

“I found this quiet little diner in this neighborhood while I was on a run one day. I decided to come back and check it out later that week and fell in love with it. It’s definitely off the beaten path but it’s well worth it,” he said as he made a right turn and a small strip of business nestled in between houses came into view. Chan pulled around back into one of the handful of parking spaces and cut the engine.

You got out, leaving your bag in the car. Chan led you to the door and pulled it open, letting you go in before him. Once inside the building, you could see why he liked the place so much. It was small and cozy. Like a little cafe. There were only five tables in the whole restaurant. 

Chan led you to one in the corner and the two of you took your seats. Moments later, a young waitress appeared, roughly about your age. She smiled at the two of you as she pulled a pad of paper and pen out of her apron.

“What can I get you two to drink?” she asked and you looked over the small menu in front of you. “Water,” Chan said smiling at her. You looked over the beverages before ordering the same. She walked away to get your drinks while you looked over the menu again. 

“I always get the same thing here,” he said and let you look over the menu. When the server returned with a glass pitcher full of ice water which she then set on the table before holding her pad ready to write down your orders. “What can I get for you?” she asked.

“I just want the Mac and cheese with chicken,” Chan said without touching the menu. The server nodded, scribbling that down before turning to you. “Uh, just the chicken Florentine,” you said setting the menu back on the table. She jotted that down and turned to put your orders in, leaving you in silence. Chan looked out the window across the room from your table.

You took the time to look around the room, taking in the decor. The walls were a medium to dark brown wood, matching the wood on the floor. The small round tables seated four people at most and were covered in white table cloths. Each table had a small arrangement in the center, a little collection of tealights and a slender vase with a couple white flowers sticking out of the top. Crystal goblets with silver rims sat upside down on the tables not in use.

The chairs were adorned with white gauze that tied into simple knots in the back before draping down toward the floor. Huge windows faced the street, letting in as much natural light as allowed, the rest of the light came from the strings of warm white lights that crisscrossed overhead across the restaurant. Sconces on the walls added more warm light to the room. Two large ceiling fans spun at a medium speed above the string lights keeping the room nice and cool.

Chan cleared his throat softly and snapped you out of your trance as you lowered your eyes from the ceiling down to him. “It’s nice, isn’t it?” he asked and you nodded, uncertain of what to say at this point. You hadn’t expected this to be such an intimate setting and you certainly hadn’t expected Chan to bring you to it of all people. He surprised you and you weren’t sure if you like it.

“Yeah,” you replied softly looking away from him. You felt the tension between you rise but it was broken when the server returned with your food. The two of you thanked her for the food but you were more grateful that you had something to keep you occupied. The food was definitely delicious and you were extremely surprised by the place. You would have to remember how to get here in the future.

When you had eaten as much as you could, you set your utensils down as Chan finished his bowl of mac and cheese. He looked at your plate and then up at you. “Do you want to take that with you?” he asked nodding at your leftovers as he pulled his wallet out. “Oh,” you said and looked down at the plate, nodding. “Yeah,” you said quietly as the server came to drop off the bill. “Could we get a to-go box?” he asked, handing her his card and she nodded.

You bit your bottom lip and looked out the window at the darkening street. You turned your head back and saw Chan watching you. Warmth grew in your cheeks and you looked away again. The server returned with Chan’s card and a box which she handed to you. Thanking her, you took the box and started to dump your leftovers in the box, shutting it and setting your plate down.

Chan signed the slip and put his card back in his wallet before pulling out a couple bills and setting them on the table. He turned to you. “Are you ready?” he asked and caught you off guard. It seemed like he was treating this like a date and you didn’t know how to proceed, so you just nodded and stood quickly, grabbing the box with your food in it. Chan led you out of the restaurant and out to the car parked in the back. You got in, setting your food in your lap and buckled your seatbelt quickly.

Without a word, Chan started the car and pulled out of the parking lot and onto the street, taking a familiar route back to the campus. Silence surrounded you, bathing you in it as a tension rose between you again. The air was thick with it as neither one of you said a word. Chan pulled onto a street on campus. “Where is your dorm?” he asked and you looked over at him. “Oh, I live in Ha Rin Hall,” you said looking over at him. “You live in Unicorn Hall?” he asked with a smirk.

“Hey, it has suites! I don’t have to share my room,” you snapped and Chan held up a hand. “I’m not judging!” he said and you rolled your eyes. “Whatever,” you said looking out your window. The drive took only a few minutes and before you knew it, he had pulled up outside your dorm hall entrance. “Here,” he said and you looked up before turning to him as you unbuckled your seatbelt. “Thanks, for dinner,” you said as you grabbed your things. He nodded. “Sure thing,” he said.

You got out of the car and shut the door. Chan rolled the window down. “See you Sunday!” he called and you turned back as you headed up the sidewalk. The look in his eyes caught you off guard and you stumbled over your words. 

“Y-yeah. S-Sunday!” you agreed before turning back toward your building and racing up to the door and punching in the code. You rushed inside and to the elevator, pressing the button several times. When the doors opened, you launched yourself inside and pressed the button for your floor.

Your heart hammered against your ribs and you weren’t sure if it was from running inside or the look Chan had given you when he called out to you from inside his car. You opted for the former, refusing to acknowledge the look. It didn’t happen, so forget it.

Once on your floor, you passed your common room and unlocked your door to your room, shutting and locking it behind you before depositing your things in your chair. You put your leftovers in the mini fridge and shook your head. It was nothing. Stop thinking about it!

You got ready for bed, determined to just pretend like the whole night was normal. You changed into your pj's, brushed your teeth and made sure your alarm was set. You climbed into your bed and pulled the covers up, sleep soon taking you over.

The next morning, you woke before your alarm did and decided to get up anyway, despite having 20 minutes left. You showered and dried off, getting ready for your first class of the day. After leaving your dorm, you stopped by the student center to grab a coffee and a muffin before your first lecture.

You had just reached the end of the line when you heard your name. Looking up, you saw Chan and Soonyoung standing near the pickup counter, Soonyoung waving at you. Chan eyed him suspiciously but ultimately looked away from his friend to nod at you. The two walked over after getting their coffee.

“Hey,” you said smiling at Soonyoung. “Chan told me how his lessons are going,” he said looking at his friend who immediately looked at him wide eyed. “Oh?” you asked nervously. Soonyoung nodded. “He told me I was right and that you are a good teacher,” Soonyoung said. You glanced at Chan to see his cheeks a soft pink. “Did he now?” you asked, slightly smug.

Soonyoung nodded. “Yeah,” he said patting his friend on the back. “Aren’t you also tutoring Jeon Jeongguk? He’s spoken quite highly of you,” Soonyoung said and you nodded. “Yeah. He’s my best friend, but I tutor him on Tuesdays and Fridays,” you said.

A feeling of uneasiness washed over you. The look Chan was giving you burned through your body. His expression was blank but it was unmistakable. He was livid. You didn’t know what his problem was. “Hey, aren’t you taking her lessons, too?” Soonyoung asked looking at his friend. Chan forced a smile and nodded. “Yeah, Sundays and Wednesdays,” he said.

“You’re a pretty popular tutor!” Soonyoung said winking. “Chan on Sundays and Wednesdays, Jeongguk on Tuesdays and Fridays, and Mingyu on Thursdays and Saturdays! You’re a pretty busy girl!” Soonyoung said with a laugh. You chuckled, still feeling unnerved by the look Chan was giving you.

“Well, we won’t keep you, see you around (Y/N)!” Soonyoung said before pulling Chan along, no doubt heading for an early morning practice for baseball. You sighed a breath of relief before approaching the counter to place your order. “Iced caramel macchiato and a banana nut muffin?” the blonde haired barista smiled. You chuckled and nodded. “Pretty predictable, huh?” you asked as you fished your wallet out. “It’s nice to have a semblance of continuity,” he said as he rang you up.

“I won’t charge you for the muffin,” he added. “Just don’t tell anyone,” he added in a whisper. “Your secret’s safe with me,” you replied in a whisper. “Thanks Namjoon,” you added. He smiled as you paid for your coffee and stepped aside to wait for it. Your phone buzzed in your pocket and you pulled it out. It was a text from Chan.

[2019/10/10] L.Chan [06:41]: how many students do you tutor? You [06:42]: like 4 or 5. Why? L.Chan [06:42]: … L.Chan [06:43]: why didn’t you say you were tutoring more students? You [06:44]: does it matter? L.Chan [06:44]: no L.Chan [06:45]: nvm. Forget i said anything. See you Sunday.

You stared at your phone in confusion before Namjoon’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts. He held out your coffee and a paper bag. “Thanks,” you said with a smile. “Have a good day, (Y/N). See you tomorrow!” You headed for your class and ate your muffin on the way.

Your first lecture passed quickly but your phone kept buzzing in your pocket so you turned the vibration off. Upon leaving you checked your phone. You had 10 missed texts. Two were from Mingyu explaining he couldn’t make his lesson for the day. You shot back a text that his workload would double on Saturday and he better not skip. He replied instantly.

[2019/10/10] K.Mingyu [08:03]: I’ll be there I promise! My mom has her follow up for her test today and I really wanted to be there for her. I’m sorry I had to cancel. You [08:03]: I’m only jesting, Gyu. Take care of your mom. I hope everything goes well. Let me know how she’s doing. I’ll see you next Thursday. Take Saturday off to be with her. K.Mingyu [08:05]: you are literally the best. Thank you so much, (Y/N)!

You turned your attention to the eight other missed texts. They were all from Chan.

[2019/10/10] L.Chan [07:21]: who else are you tutoring? L.Chan [07:23]: me, Mingyu, Jeongguk, who else? L.Chan [07:25]: Not that it matters. I’m just curious L.Chan [07:31]: Have any of them taken you to dinner?? L.Chan [07:32]: wait nvm don’t answer that. L.Chan [07:40]: … actually, answer that. L.Chan [07:44]: why the hell aren’t you answering me?? L.Chan [07:56]: shit. You’re in class. Duh. i’m stupid. Ignore me.

You stared in disbelief at your phone until the ellipsis at the bottom of the screen appeared indicating he was typing. You panicked and closed your texting app and locked your screen before shoving your phone deep in your bag. You didn’t want to know what he said.

Instead you headed for the student center to take advantage of the quiet room to finish going over your homework to make sure it was finished. You had just sat down when you heard footsteps approaching and you looked up to see it was Chan. He stopped right in front of you before he grabbed your bag and started rifling through it. “Hey!” you whisper yelled trying to take your bag back. He pulled your phone out and shoved it at you. You stared at him for a few moments. He nodded at your phone, indicating you to look at it. You rolled your eyes and opened it, checking his message.

[2019/10/10] L.Chan [08:07]: where are you? L.Chan [08:10]: I know you read my messages which means you’re out of class. I know you have a free period. I want to talk. L.Chan [08:12]: why are you ignoring me?

Chan snatched your phone out of your hand and look at the screen. You angrily snatched your phone back and grabbed your bag before pointing to the exit and led the way, Chan following closely behind you. Once exiting the quiet room, Chan grabbed your arm and led you away from the crowded court of the student center and away toward an empty classroom.

“What are you doing?” you hissed as he opened the door and shoved you in, shutting the door behind you. “I wanted to talk to you!” he said and leaned against the door, arms crossed in front of him. “Well, then talk!” you snapped and he narrowed his eyes.

“What is your problem?” he asked and you scoffed. “My problem? What is your problem? All those texts? Following me to the quiet room and looking through my bag? Taking my phone? Why are you acting like some jealous boyfriend?!” you snapped and Chan froze.

He regained his composure before slipping into a cool facade. “I am not. I just forgot that you were in a lecture, that’s all.” You crossed your arms. “Okay, then why are you asking me about my other tutor students like it’s somehow your business?” you asked and he shrugged. “I told you, I was curious,” he reiterated. You narrowed your eyes at him. “Right, sure,” you said.

“I’m not jealous. I just didn’t realize your schedule was so full,” he said and you nodded slowly. “So, can I go now? I need to finish going over my homework. It’s due my next class,” you said and Chan nodded but didn’t move. You waited patiently for him to stand up but he didn’t. You groaned and moved forward, determined to push him out of the way if you had to.

Upon reaching the door, Chan grabbed you by the arm and spun, pushing you against the door and pining you there. You let out a small yelp as he did. He stood there, his body pressing yours against the door, his hands pressed against the door on either side of your head. “What are you doing?” you whispered, your heart racing and finding it hard to breathe.

Chan stared at you, his head lowering until his lips were mere inches from yours. A loud crack of thunder sounded across the campus catching you, and thankfully, Chan off guard. He jumped and this allowed you enough of a window to open the door and race out of the room and as far away from him as possible. You took refuge in the ladies bathroom, ignoring the chime of the clock tower as eight thirty hit.

You were late for your class but you knew your professor would grant you a pass for turning in your assignment late. She loved having you in class. You hid in the bathrooms for nearly twenty minutes before braving the halls and heading back to your dorm, deciding to skip your classes and submit your homework from the safety of your room instead.

You made it back without instance and once you were locked in your room, you submitted the rest of your homework virtually and tucked yourself away in your bed. You were glad that Mingyu had decided to cancel his lessons for the day as you were a mess.

What the hell had gotten into Chan? What gave him the right to behave like that? What did he think you were to him? He took you to dinner one time and he thought you suddenly belonged to him? Bullshit. You wouldn’t stand for it. You would set him straight the next lesson.

You decided to order food instead of go out and interact with anyone. You sat in your room, eating your pizza when the first text came in.

[2019/10/10] L.Chan [18:22]: Look, I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. L.Chan [18:23]: You’re my tutor and I shouldn’t have done that. Let’s just forget this and put it behind us. I’ll see you on Sunday? You [18:25]: Sunday. Consider it forgotten.

You threw your phone on your sheets and laid back, groaning when you felt the vibration near your foot. You reached down to grab the device and read the message.

L.Chan [18:26]: K

You threw your phone back down on the blanket and pulled the edge over your head and screamed into your pillow. He was a confusing asshole and you needed to put all of this out of your mind if you were going to get through the rest of his lessons without anymore incident.

Safe to say, you were dreading Chan’s Sunday lessons as they drew closer. Jeongguk noticed you seemed a little more tense that usual on Friday. “What’s wrong?” he asked, placing his hand on yours as you fiddled with your pencil. You shook your head. “Just class,” you lied and he squeezed your hand softly. Looking up, you were met with his warm eyes. You sighed, knowing he saw right through your lies.

“It’s these lessons with Chan. He’s such an asshole!” you said in a whisper yell. Jeongguk laughed as he sat back. “What’s new? He’s always been a brat,” he said and you glared at him. “Not helping,” you said and he shrugged. “What do you want me to say?” he asked and you shook your head.

“I just don’t get him. First he’s an asshole and teasing me about my crush on his best friend, and then he’s all sweet and takes me out to eat, and then-” you spilled out but Jeongguk held his hands up to stop you. “Whoa, wait a second. He did what?!” he asked and you covered your mouth when you realized you had forgotten to tell Jeongguk about Wednesday. “He took you out to eat?” he asked incredulously and you nodded slowly.

“When the hell were you gonna tell me this?” he demanded angrily and you shrugged. “Sorry,” you whispered. Jeongguk shook his head and gestured for you to continue your rant. You launched back into it. “And then,” you said and gulped, knowing the next part would set your best friend off again.

“And then, what?” he asked and you hesitated, looking at Jeongguk. His arms were crossed, his expression unreadable but his eyes told you all you needed to know. He was waiting patiently for you to continue. You took a deep breath and spoke again. “Then he found out I’m tutoring people other than him and he got… upset? He asked why I didn’t tell him I was tutoring other people. I told him it didn’t matter but he was still mad, so when I tried to leave, he pinned me against the wall and almost kissed me,” you finished and Jeongguk leaned forward. “What the fuck?” he hissed.

“You should have told me this! I would have knocked his lights out!” he added and you looked down at the table to avoid his gaze. The two of you were silent until he finally broke it. “I’m calling an emergency and cancelling this lesson,” he said and you looked up at him. “We’re going out. You need a night out,” he said and you shook your head. “You can’t cancel lessons,” you chuckled and he stuffed his things in his bag and started packing your things up.

“Jeongguk! Only I can cancel lessons!” you said before he grabbed your hand and pulled you up to your feet. You let out a little squeal and erupted into giggles as he dragged you to your dorm room from your floor’s common room. “You’re going in there and you’re going to change. It’s Friday night, you seem stressed so as your best friend, I’m taking you out tonight, we’re going to get drunk and then you can sleep in tomorrow since Mingyu cancelled!” he said as he pushed you toward your door.

“You can’t make that decision!” you laughed and Jeongguk shook his head. “I’m not listening until you change into something that gets the blood flowing!” he said over you. Rolling your eyes, you unlocked the door and stepped inside, Jeongguk following behind you. He sat on your bed as you entered your bathroom and shut the door. He was right. You needed a break and what better way than to drink and let loose. You started to pull stuff out of your closet, trying them on before showing him.

“That top, yes, those bottoms? No,” he said, wrinkling his nose in disgust. “Don’t you have any clubbing dresses or something?” he asked and you shook your head. “I’m not wearing that again, I told you already!” you said and Jeongguk hopped up, pushing his way into your closet to search for the dress you were both talking about. He found it crumpled on the floor and picked it up, shaking it and holding it up.

"You’re wearing this,” he said and you shook your head. “No, the fuck I’m not!” you shouted and he raised an eyebrow. “Either you’re going to put this on yourself, or I will strip you and put it on you myself,” he threatened. You snatched the dress from him and shoved him out of your bathroom, shutting the door and locking it. You stripped down to your bra and panties and pulled the dress on.

“I need you to zip it up,” you called through the door. You unlocked it, letting Jeongguk in. He zipped the back of the dress up for you and whistled when you turned around. “Goddamn, if you weren’t like a sister to me, I’d totally take you home with me tonight,” he said with a wink. You pushed him out and gagged. “Disgusting. You’re disgusting!” Jeongguk laughed as you searched for a pair of shoes to go with the dress. Once dressed, your hair done, and makeup on, you looked at yourself in the mirror.

“I hate you so much,” you said as you fished your ID and debit card out of your bag and handed them to Jeongguk. He tucked them in his wallet for safekeeping before checking his watch. “Come on, Cinderella, or we’ll be late for the ball,” he said jokingly as you took one last glance in the mirror.

The dress was a stunning black velvet with an off the shoulder sweetheart neckline and sleeves the extended down just past your wrists. The tulip skirt stopped about mid-thigh, hugging your hips snugly. Under the dress you wore your favorite black lace bra and gray panties. The heels you chose were the same ones you had worn for a New Year’s party. Gold faded into black with red bottoms.

You grabbed your phone off the desk and followed Jeongguk out of your room. He led you to the elevator which you took down to the lobby and caught an Uber to the club Jeongguk frequented. “I can’t believe you haven’t gone out since that night,” Jeongguk said shaking his head. He was speaking, of course, about the same night you threw a drink in Chan’s face at a frat party.

“Oh, can it, Gguk,” you said as the car pulled to a stop at the curb. Jeongguk got out, helping you out after him. He took your hand and led you to the end of the line.  In no time, you reached the doors. While waiting, a particularly loud group of guys exited the club and you recognized them. It was Chan and his friends from the baseball team, Soonyoung, Jihoon, Jeonghan, and their captain, Seungcheol.

Your heart skipped a beat when you saw Soonyoung. A huge smile on his face as he and his friends left the club. He looked particularly stunning in the tight black jeans he was wearing with small rips on his upper thighs and again at his knees. The black bomber jacket he wore open showed off the plain white tee shirt underneath. Your breath stunted as he brought a hand up to brush his hair back, showing off his forehead. A simple gesture, but something that still made your knees weak. God he looks good.

As the group passed by, Soonyoung caught sight of you and called out. “Hey, (Y/N)!” he said and Chan’s attention snapped to you as the group stopped. He was wearing a bright red hoodie under a black jacket with black jeans. He looked surprised to see you. You said hello to the guys why Jeongguk handed the bouncer both your IDs. “Holy shit,” Soonyoung said as he looked you over. Your heart beat faster while your stomach did somersaults at his reaction.

“Damn, why the hell are we leaving?” he asked, turning to look at Seungcheol who laughed and waved at you. “Because we’re not even supposed to drink the night before a game,” he said with a smile. Chan’s eyes were glued to you as he looked you up and down. Jeongguk placed a hand on your lower back to get your attention.

“Let’s go,” he said softly and both Soonyoung and Chan looked at him, startled as if they hadn’t noticed him standing next to you the whole time.. “Oh! Jeon!” Soonyoung said smiling brightly at him. “You’re a lucky guy!” Jeonghan said nodding toward you with a wink. Jeongguk laughed and shook his head. “No, it’s not like that. We’re just friends. We have been for some time,” he said and you nodded, avoiding Chan’s gaze.

“It’s a damn shame we have to leave,” Jihoon said also giving you the once over and a smirk. Your cheeks burned pink with embarrassment. “I’m going to strangle you in your sleep,” you said to Jeongguk. “I made her wear this,” he said nodding at your ensemble. “Good choice,” Jeonghan said, nodding in approval. Your cheeks turned a deeper shade of pink and when your eyes met Chan’s you felt something stir deep in your stomach. The way he was looking at you was so… primal.

You looked away quickly as the group began to depart. “Have a good night!” Soonyoung called as he grabbed Chan and pulled the younger man away. When you peered over your shoulder, you saw Chan look back at you before Jeongguk led you into the club. Inside was loud, hot, and packed. Strobe lights blinded you as Jeongguk made his way through the crowd, pulling you along as he headed for the bar.

He ordered both of you two shots each and a drink for you. He was determined to get you drunk. Once you were three shots in, he pulled you onto the dance floor. “You’re going to have fun whether you like it or not!” he said in your ear over the bass as he pulled you into him and started moving to the beat. If he had been any other guy, you would have pushed him away, possibly even slapped him.

You had known Jeongguk for so long that you felt the most comfortable dancing with him because you knew he would never take it too far. The heat of the bodies around you mixed with the alcohol made your head swim and you leaned into Jeongguk, asking him to get you some water. He nodded and left the dance floor to get you some. A very bad move.

A few moments later, you felt two hands on your hips. Assuming it was Jeongguk you leaned into the frame behind you. “Did you get my water?” you asked over the music. You felt his lips near your ear but the voice that spoke wasn’t Jeongguk’s. “Are you thirsty?” 

You spun around and were met face to face with Chan. His hands held your hips in place. “What are you doing?” you asked and he smiled, pulling you into him. “Do you want me to stop?” he asked and you gulped. If you said no, things would progress and you knew they would go too far. If you said yes however he would leave and you didn’t want that.

Luckily, you didn’t have to answer. Jeongguk returned with your water and pulled you out of Chan’s grip. “Don’t you have a baseball game tomorrow you should be getting rest for?” he asked over the music. Chan shrugged. “It’s still pretty early and the game isn’t until tomorrow evening.” Jeongguk handed you the water, keeping a protective hold around your waist as you took a huge gulp of water.

“Regardless, I brought her here and I’m responsible for her,” he said. Chan laughed, rolling his eyes. “Do you honestly think I would do anything to hurt her? I’m not that kind of guy and you know it, Jeon!” Chan said over the bass. Jeongguk still didn’t release you. “Unless she tells me to buzz off, I’m not letting her out of my sight,” he said as you finished your water. “Jeongguk,” you said with your head a little clearer.

He looked down at you. “I think one dance is okay,” you said to him. Jeongguk looked from you to Chan. “Just one,” you added, pointing at Chan. He nodded in agreement and Jeongguk reluctantly let go of you. He slipped between the crowd, no doubt going to keep watch somewhere. Chan took your hand and pulled you into him. “Once dance, Chan, I mean it,” you said and he smirked at you.

“After once dance, you’ll want another, and then another,” he said and you rolled your eyes, lightly slapping him on the shoulder. “No I won’t,” you said as he held your hips and turned you so you were facing away from him. His lips brushed against your cheek before he whispered, “one dance and you’ll want to come home with me.” Your heart leapt in your chest as you tried to control your breathing. Get it together, (Y/N), you told yourself. This is Chan, not Soonyoung.

Without warning, Chan pulled your hips back against his and you nearly moaned at the feeling of his obvious erection pressing against your backside. His lips trailed up your neck before stopping by your ear, his breath hot against your skin. “Do you see what you do to me? Do you feel what you do to my body?” he breathed rolling his hips against you. A small moan left your lips and Chan wrapped an arm around your waist.

“Come back with me. You know you want to,” he hissed and you shook your head. “I can’t,” you whimpered. He chuckled lowly in your ear, one of his hands sliding down and around to grab your hip, his fingers sinking into the soft flesh. “Come on,” he said, pulling your hips back against his crotch again, causing another hot moan leaving your throat. “God you sound so good,” he whispered.

His hand on your hip slid to your stomach to hold you against him again. “Come back with me. Let me take care of you,” he said as you continued to sway to the music, your ass grinding against his hips. “Let me taste you, (Y/N). I’ll make you feel so good, baby,” he said, nipping at your neck. “Please, Chan. I can’t,” you breathed.

He stopped, turning you so you were facing him. “Can’t or won’t?” he asked and you shook your head. “I can’t, Chan,” you repeated. Chan scoffed, letting go of your hips as he backed away. You looked into his eyes hooded with lust before cocked his head. “One last chance,” he offered and when you hesitated, he turned and walked away leaving you on the dance floor and taking your breath with him.

Jeongguk must have seen because he was by your side in seconds. “Let’s get you home,” he said and led you off the dance floor and toward the door. “He’s such an L.Chan,” you hissed as Jeongguk led you out into the cool night air. “What?” Jeongguk asked as he pulled his phone out and requested an Uber pick up. You fell silent and when the car arrived, Jeongguk didn’t ask anymore questions.

He took you back to your dorm to drop you off, making sure you made it safely before he left and headed back to his building. You unzipped your dress and slid it off, replacing it with your pajamas. When you threw your dress in your hamper, you heard your phone go off. You walked over to check it. A text from Chan.

L.Chan [00:13]: why wouldn’t you just come back with me? Do you know how much I want you? You [00:14]: I couldn’t just leave Gguk L.Chan [00:14]: so you left with Jeon?? L.Chan [00:14]: Did you go back to his place? L.Chan [00:15]: Are you gonna fuck him?? You [00:15]: i told you, Jeongguk is my FRIEND. I’m not interested in him like that. L.Chan [00:16]: so are you in your room right now? You [00:16]: yes. L.Chan [00:17]: alone?? You [00:17]: yes, goddamn L.Chan [00:18]: prove it. Prove it to me.

You took a picture of you laying in your bed and sent that in the text with the caption, “would i send this if i wasn’t alone?”

L.Chan [00:19]:...are you teasing me?? You [0019]: and what if I am?

It was a moment before he responded and when he did, he sent an image. Upon opening it, you saw it was the outline of his erection through his boxers, his blanket pushed just below it.

L.Chan [00:19]: you did this, now come and fix it. You [00:20]: make me~ L.Chan [00:20]: I’m coming over, let me in You [00:20]: you have a game tomorrow L.Chan [00:21]: i don’t give a shit. I’m coming over and i’m gonna fuck you You [00:22]: no you’re not. L.Chan [00:23]: why the hell not? 😠 You [00:23]: because I said so. L.Chan [00:24]: then send me a picture. Help a guy out 😣

You scoffed and threw your phone on your bed. He has some nerve. You weren’t normally the kind of girl to send provocative pictures, but in your drunken state, it was tempting. Your thoughts were interrupted but a vibration on your mattress which caught your attention. Chan had sent you a picture.

You opened it much too quickly. In the picture, Chan had pulled himself out of his underwear and your jaw dropped. He was much larger than you thought. You felt your phone buzz again.

L.Chan [00:25]: you like the picture? 😉 L.Chan [00:25]: Come over and let me fuck you. L.Chan [00:25]: At least let me taste you. L.Chan [00:25]: Bury my face between those gorgeous thighs of yours and make you come all over my 👅

The temptation was there. You would be lying if you said you didn’t want to. Instead, you sat up, taking off your shirt before lying back and pushing your shorts off, throwing them on the floor. You took another picture in the semi darkness of your room. You sent it to Chan.

You [00:26]: I’m too drunk to come over. 🤪

He answered quicker than he had in the past.

L.Chan [00:27]: fuck you’re beautiful. I want to come all over that lace bra 💦 You [00:27]: keep saying that and I’ll up your lesson plan 🙅🏻‍♀️ L.Chan [00:28]: goddammit, i want to bend you over the table in that stupid room L.Chan [00:28]: fuck you until you can’t walk in the morning. You [00:30]: … you can’t do that. Not in there L.Chan [00:30]: why not? L.Chan [00:30]: don’t want everyone to know what a dirty slut you are? 😏 You [00:31]: i’m not the one sending dick pics to his tutor L.Chan [00:32]: pics of a dick you want to choke on 🍆 You [00:33]: bold of you to presume that L.Chan [00:33]: send me another picture. This time, no bra You [00:33]: so demanding 🙄 L.Chan [00:33]: shut up and just do it. I want to see you You [00:36]: what do i get in return? 🤷🏻‍♀️ L.Chan [00:36]: gimme a sex L.Chan [00:36]: sec* lol

A few moments later, a video clip appeared in the thread. You clicked on it. Chan’s hand was wrapped around the shaft of his cock, slowly moving up and down. You heard him hiss in the background. “I wish this was your mouth instead of my hand,” he whispered.

Your walls clenched around nothing and you immediately got up, walking over to your full length mirror, you wrapped an arm under your breasts, pushing them up and snapped a picture, the strap of your bra slipping down your shoulder. His reply was instantaneous.

L.Chan [00:39]: ugh stop teasing me baby 😫

A giggle escaped you as you slid your panties down your thighs before undoing your bra and slipping that off. You raised a finger out in front of you, covering your breasts and sex all at once before snapping another picture and sending it to Chan. Might as well make him suffer.

L.Chan [00:39]: fucking hell 😳😍 You [00:40]: are you still touching yourself? 👀 L.Chan [00:40]: yesss You [00:41]: you want to Facetime? 😘 L.Chan [00:42]: fuck. Yes. 😍

Your phone lit up with an incoming call. You hopped into your bed before answering it. Half expecting to be met with Chan’s dick, you were surprised to see his face instead. “I wish you would have just let me come over,” he said in a breathy voice. “Sorry~,” you said in a sweet voice. “Don’t lie to me,” he said, a small moan leaving his lips.

“I’m not. I am sorry. I’m being responsible, Chan. I’m your tutor,” you said and he groaned. “Only in that room. Outside of it, you’re my peer. Peers can fuck. So let me fuck you,” he said, his breath speeding up. “Are you close?” you asked and he nodded. “Keep going,” you said softly, watching the way his eyes fluttered shut and he bit his bottom lip to keep quiet.

“Do you have a roommate?” you asked and he shook his head. “Then don’t hold back. Let me hear you,” you said, your hand wandering to your already wet core. “Are you touching yourself to this?” Chan asked and you smiled before nodded. “I am,” you replied feeling the wetness seeping between your folds. “Let me see,” Chan said and you tapped to switch to rear facing camera where it was pointed at your hand disappearing between your thighs.

“Fuck that’s so hot,” Chan’s voice said and you returned to front facing camera. “I want to taste you so bad, (Y/N),” he whimpered. Your walls clenched when he let out a moan. Your fingers worked against your clit, teasing yourself as you brought yourself closer and closer to the edge. “Keep going, keep touching yourself,” he said when a small moan slipped between your lips. “Fuck, what I wouldn’t give to hear that in person.”

“Do you want my cock, baby?” he asked and you nodded, slipping a finger inside your wet heat. “God, I want you inside me so bad,” you whined. “Should have let me come over,” he said with a smirk. You groaned, curling your fingers to hit your sweet spot. “Fuck baby, do that again. Let me see what you’re doing,” he demanded. You turned the camera and continued to fuck yourself with your fingers.

“How many fingers are you using?” he asked. “Two,” you replied. “Add another, that’s how many I would use to get your ready to take me,” he said and you complied, adding a third finger, enjoying the slight sting as your stretched yourself. “I bet you’re nice and wet, perfect for me to slide right in. God I want to fuck you so bad. Pound into you. I want you to scream my name.”

You whimpered at his words, speeding up your pace. “Would you like that, baby? My hard cock in your tight hole?” he asked and you nodded. “Yes, I want your hard cock inside me, Chan,” you moaned. He chuckled lowly. “Such a good little slut for me. You’re a good girl, aren’t you?” he asked. “Yes,” you breathed feeling your orgasm draw closer. “Yes what?” he asked. “Yes, I’m a good girl,” you breathed.

“Are you close?” he asked, his breathing shallow as he neared his climax. You nodded with a whimper as you bit your lip. “Good, keep going baby. Come for me all over your fingers like a good slut,” he said as he sped up. “Only if you come all over yourself,” you breathed and Chan chuckled again. “Okay baby. I’ll do that. Now don’t stop until you come. Tell me how good you feel,” he said and you moaned.

Your orgasm approached rapidly, your toes curling in bliss as you continued to pleasure yourself at his words. “Does it feel good, babygirl?” Chan asked you. “Yes, yes,” you moaned. “I’m so close,” you whined. “Keep going, baby. Be a good girl and come for me,” Chan whispered, barely audible. Your high hit you and you came with a whimper and a moan of Chan’s name as you continued to ride out your climax.

“Fucking shit, baby,” Chan groaned as he released on his end with a low moan. He shuddered on camera, eyes shut as he came down from his orgasm. The two of you sat there in your beds silent as you both basked in the afterglow of your orgasms. “God damnit (Y/N). Next time just let me come over and fuck you,” Chan said, panting. You let out a shaky laugh. “Next time,” you murmured.

“Get some sleep, Chan. You have a game in the morning,” you said as you sat up. “What are you going to do?” he asked, his face squished against the pillows on his bed. “I’m taking a shower and then going to bed,” you answered. Chan smiled and nodded. “Okay. You do that. I’ll text you tomorrow,” he said and you shook your head. “You don’t have to do that,” you answered. He merely shrugged, with a smile and said, “I want to. Goodnight, (Y/N).” He hung up before you had a chance to answer. “Night, Chan.”

The next morning you awoke to knocking on your door. You groaned as you opened your eyes and looked around. Your floor was littered with your clothing from the night before. You had fallen asleep naked. Your head throbbed as the knocking continued. A small whimper left your lips as you rolled over and wrapped the blankets around you. You slid off the bed, making sure you were covered before you unlocked and cracked the door. Jeongguk was on the other side.

“I come bearing gifts,” he said holding up a paper sack and a coffee. “I also brought Tylenol,” he added and you opened the door, hiding behind it so no one would see you wrapped in your blanket. Jeongguk entered the room and whistled when he looked around. You shut the door and padded over to your bed. “Who did you fuck last night?” he asked as he handed you the coffee and bag.

You shook your head and hid in your wrap as you opened the bag. Inside were two breakfast burritos and a small side of hash browns. You whispered a blessing upon Jeongguk as you unwrapped a burrito and dug in. Jeongguk looked at your clothes on the floor again. “If you didn’t fuck anyone last night, why are your clothes everywhere?” You looked up at him, mouth full of burrito.

“Cause I was drunk and too lazy to put my clothes away?” you answered and Jeongguk laughed. “Or to put clothes on I see,” he said nodding at your bare shoulders and collar. “Fuck off,” you said before taking another bite of burrito. Jeongguk stood up and made his way into your closet. “Jeongguk, get out of my closet you pervert!” you called in a groggy voice. You lifted the coffee to your lips and took a sip, sighing at the sweet taste of the sugar and creamer.

Jeongguk returned moments later with clean underwear, a tee shirt, sweatpants, and a hoodie. “Get dressed, loser. I’m taking you to the baseball game,” he said throwing your clothes on the bed. You glared at him, narrowing your eyes. Jeongguk laughed again and turned away so you could put your clothes on. You pulled on the sports bra and underwear before sliding off the bed and into your sweats. The shirt he had chosen was your the shirt you had gotten with your university acceptance package.

You rolled your eyes before pulling on your hoodie and taking a look in the mirror. You whistled and told Jeongguk to give you five minutes to make yourself presentable. Jeongguk grabbed the unopened burrito and sat on your bed. “I’ll just eat this,” he said and you pouted before going into the bathroom to wash your face and apply some sunscreen and BB cream. You weren’t focused on grabbing any attention, you just wanted to not look hungover or sick.

After that you pulled your hair up into a messy ponytail and returned to your bed to finish your burrito and hash browns. “Let’s go idiot,” you said to Jeongguk and he rolled out of your bed. The two of you made your way out of your room and down to the lobby. Jeongguk told you about his night after he dropped you off at your dorm. Apparently he had run into an old friend and they ended up hooking up.

“That wasn’t stupid, right? Cause she gives some really good head,” he said as you walked toward the baseball stadium. You rolled your eyes at him. “It’s not stupid, just so long as you are on the same page,” you said. You reached the field in no time and Jeongguk bought your tickets before leading you down toward the dugout. He liked to sit front row at the games since his basketball team always attended the baseball team’s games.

You sat down next to him in literally the front row, looking out at the field over the fence. The two teams were warming up, the visiting team on the other side of the field. You were talking to Jeongguk when you noticed Chan out on the field warming up with Seungcheol. “Hey, (Y/N)!” you heard and looked down to see Soonyoung had just emerged from the dugout with Jihoon. You smiled and waved back at them.

Soonyoung ran over and you scooted forward in your seat to rest your arms on the fence. “What are you doing here?” he asked smiling up at you. “Jeongguk brought me,” you said nodding back at your best friend. Soonyoung greeted Jeongguk with a nod. “So, what position are you?” you asked drawing Soonyoung’s attention. “Shortstop! Jihoon is catcher.”

Jihoon looked up at you, giving you a smile which you returned. “Seokmin,” Soonyoung said looking behind him and pointing to another member on the team, one with reddish curly hair. “He’s our pitcher. Minghao is first baseman,” Soonyoung pointed to tall and slender member with longer black hair and glasses who was practicing with another member with short blonde hair, “and he’s practicing with our second baseman, Junhui.”

Seungcheol is right field, Jeonghan is left field, and Joshua is center field,” Soonyoung added pointing out the three respectively. “Chan is our third baseman. In the dugout we have Wonwoo our relief pitcher, Seungkwan is one of our utility infielders along with Mingyu but he’s out today, and Vernon is our pinch runner.” Soonyoung continued, naming the rest of the team in the dugout.

“Then there’s also our closing pitcher Minhyuk, our LOOGY Changkyun, Hyunwoo is backup catcher, Mark is first baseman relief, Jinyoung is second baseman relief, and Kihyun is third baseman relief. Jooheon takes over for me if I need the break, Hoseok is our pinch hitter, Yugyeom is our Designated hitter for Seokmin, and Jackson is equipment manager. Bambam and Hyungwon are also utility outfielders while Youngjae and Jaebum are utility infielders.”

You nodded slowly and Jeongguk laughed leaning forward. “She has no idea what you just said,” he laughed. Jihoon chuckled and readjusted his hat. “I catch, Seokmin and Wonwoo throw, Minghao, Junhui, and Chan stay on the bases, Joshua, Jeonghan, and Seungcheol catch balls in the outfield, Soonyoung gets to run all over infield, and everyone else subs,” Jihoon explained.

“Yeah, that speaks more my level of baseball knowledge,” you said. Soonyoung laughed, the sound drawing Chan’s attention. He squinted and noticed you before tossing a ball back to Minghao. One of the coaches called Jihoon over and he excused himself. “So, what are you doing tonight?” Soonyoung asked when Jeongguk sat back in his seat.

You shrugged. “I have no idea. I was supposed to have a tutor lesson with Mingyu, but like you said, he’s out today and had to cancel,” you admitted. Soonyoung perked up. “So you have no plans?” he asked and you nodded. “Then, how about this? Whenever we win a game, there’s always a party at the Iota Nu Delta house. If we win today, be my date?” he asked and your cheeks turned pink.

“O-okay,” you said and Soonyoung broke into a huge grin. “Okay, I’ll be on the field all game, so cheer for me, okay?” he asked and you nodded before he took off when the coaches called him over. Chan looked from Soonyoung to you before turning back to his teammates.

The game would be starting soon. You sat back in your seat and looked at Jeongguk. “Did Soonyoung ask you on a date~?” he asked not looking up from his phone and you nodded. “Yeah, I guess he did,” you admitted. Jeongguk gave you a sly smirk and you slapped his shoulder. “Can it, Gguk!” you giggled before you heard someone call your name. You looked back at the field and saw Soonyoung wave at you. Your face turning red, you returned his wave and slid down in your seat.

You missed the way Chan glared at his friend in favor for the start of the game. The announcer came on the intercom and started the beginning of the game. He announced the teams and the players on each team, taking extra care to mention the key players on the home team. When each of their names were announced, the players stepped forward and waved and posed to a torrent of screams and cheers.

After announcing the players, the first pitch was thrown by the home team with Seokmin as starting pitcher. You watched the field as Jeongguk explained the mechanics of the game to you in between plays. The home team, your university’s team, was amazing. The guys were fast, catching hits and throwing them to the bases or back to Jihoon behind the home plate. They didn’t even let the visiting team score. When they were up to bat, you had never seen anything like it.

The fastest members were probably Minghao or Chan. They zoomed around the bases like little bees. They scored left and right, running the bases. Jeongguk explained how every time the teams swapped, the inning changed. Right now he said they were in the bottom of the fourth ending. “Bottom?” you asked and Jeongguk smiled and leaned forward.

“So when an inning starts, it’s called the top of the inning when one team is batting. When three outs are made, the teams switch so the fielding team will be up to bat, which will then be the bottom of the inning. The inning ends when the second batting team gets three outs.” You looked from Jeongguk to the field. “Okay! That makes sense!” you said nodding.

As the game progressed you noticed Chan watching you more and more from third base. You tried to ignore the look he gave you and focus on the game. By the top of the ninth inning, you were totally invested in the game cheering and encouraging the team. They were on the field with two outs. “I’ve never seen you get this much into sports,” Jeongguk laughed and you looked back at him with a wide grin. “I never realized I liked baseball so much!” you admitted. The home team caught the third out and the teams switched, signaling the start of the bottom of the ninth inning.

First up to bat was Changkyun. He was one of the only left handed batters on the team and also being the left handed pitcher. He hit the ball toward the bases and took off for first, making it before the opposing team even scooped the ball up. His teammates erupted into applause while he mocked bowing before taking his stance on the base.

Up next was Hyunwoo. He was a guy you’d seen around campus before usually with his best friends Hoseok and Kihyun. Hyunwoo was a particularly well built guy with broad shoulders, tall and muscular. He filled out his uniform well as he took his stance on home plate, swinging the bat a couple times before he stood ready to swing. The opposing team’s pitcher threw hard but Hyunwoo swung right, his aim true and he hit the ball into the outfield before the players had time to catch up. He made it to first, Changkyun on second.

Next to bat was Yugyeom stepped up to the plate. He was, as Soonyoung said earlier, designated hitter for the pitcher, Seokmin. Yugyeom also hit toward the bases and made it to first, the other two rotating around so each base had a member on it. The coach of the opposing team swapped out the pitcher for a new guy and Jeongguk sat closer to the edge of his seat. “They’re trying to switch it up, catch our guys with a new pitcher. They’re gonna try to get a triple play,” he said resting his arms on the fence.

You turned your attention to the practice section for the next batter and saw it was Jeonghan but the manager ran up to him and said something. Jeonghan looked over at the dugout as another member came out ready to bat. Jeonghan nodded and swapped places with the new guy. “Fuck yes,” Jeongguk exclaimed softly and you looked at him. “The pinch hitter,” he said and you looked back at the guy stepping up to the plate. It was Lee Hoseok. If Hyunwoo was built, then Hoseok was ripped.

They guy adjusted his gloves and tapped the bottom of his shoe with his bat before taking his stance and swinging the bat three times before holding it steady. He smirked at the new pitcher and waited. The first ball thrown was called foul, giving the opposing team one out. The second ball was also foul, giving for another out. You grabbed Jeongguk’s hand and he laughed. “You’re worried for nothing,” he said as the pitcher geared up to throw a third ball. Hoseok swung so fast and hard that all you heard was the crack of the ball making contact with his bat before he dropped it and took off.

Changkyun crossed the plate first, followed by Hyunwoo, then Yugyeom. Cheers erupted from around the stadium and the dugout as the ball crossed over the far barrier and Hoseok brought up the rear laughing as his teammates rushed out to jump on him. “What?” you looked at Jeongguk. “Told you not to worry,” he laughed. You looked over as the team celebrated their victory. You cheered along side the rest of the stadium before Jeongguk finally pulled you out of your seat. “Come on! They’re gonna celebrate with a party later, let’s go so you can get changed,” he said and you followed him and his basketball teammates up the steps.

It took some time to get out of the stadium and into the parking lot where the rest of Jeongguk’s friends piled into cars, you sitting in the front seat of Seokjin’s car. Jeongguk was squashed in the back with Jimin and Taehyung. Seokjin pulled up outside your building and you promised to be quick. You rushed up to your room to change and get ready to go to a house party. You hadn’t been to one in years so you decided to put a little effort into your appearance.

Once satisfied with your look, you headed out to the elevator. You pressed the button taking it down to the lobby. Your phone buzzed in your hand and you opened it to find two messages waiting. One from Soonyoung and the other from Chan.

[2019/10/12] Soonyoung [21:06]: you’re still coming to the party, right? (: You [21:06]: I’m on my way now!

You checked Chan’s text and froze, your heart pounding.

L.Chan [21:05]: So there’s a party at the Iota Nu Delta house, if you wanted to come. Hopefully I’ll see you there? You [21:08]: yeah, i’m heading there now actually. Soonyoung invited me L.Chan [21:08]: oh. cool. See you soon

Soonyoung had sent you another text and you opened it.

Soonyoung [21:08]: you are going to dance with me, aren’t you? ;) You [21:09]: we’ll see haha

You made it back out to the car and got in the front seat again. “Ah! We’re ready!” Seokjin announced before starting the car. He pulled out of your building’s parking lot and turned right, driving through the campus as he made his way toward the Iota Nu Delta house. Seokjin parked on the street behind Yoongi’s car and you followed the guys up the lawn toward the front door.

Upon entering, you saw that the party was fully underway and you grabbed Jeongguk’s arm. “Please don’t leave me alone!” you whispered at him and he nodded, following Taehyung and Jimin further into the house. Once entering the kitchen at the back of the house, you found a large group gathered around a pong table. Jeongguk led you past the group to get drinks and a familiar face caught your eye.

Soonyoung smiled at you from the crowd before pushing his way through to reach you. “Hey!” he said breathlessly as Jeongguk poured some soda into a cup and handed you a slice of pizza from one of the many boxes on the counter. “Eat, then drink!” he said and the nodded at Soonyoung. 

You took the slice and bit off a piece. Jeongguk handed you the cup with soda in it. “Drink that. Pizza and soda before you get alcohol!” You rolled your eyes and turned to Soonyoung who reached across the island to grab a slice of pizza.

Jeongguk smiled at a girl who passed him before turning to Jimin and Taehyung. He said something to them and then leaned toward you. “I gotta go do something, stay with Jimin and Taehyung. They’ll keep an eye on you. Well, Taehyung will,” he said and you nodded before he took off, handing a drink he made for you to Tae and pointed at you. Taehyung took his spot at the counter, standing behind you and keeping his eye on the crowd. He turned to Jimin to say something, nodding at the crowd.

“So, you going to come dance with me at least once?” Soonyoung asked as you finished your slice of pizza and downed the rest of your soda. You took the cup Taehyung held and took a sip. “Maybe, you gonna convince me?” you asked. Soonyoung laughed and bit his bottom lip. 

“I can always try,” he said with a wink. Your stomach did little flips but it wasn’t Soonyoung’s words. Instead it was Chan appearing in your line of vision. You turned to Taehyung. “I’m gonna go dance with Soonyoung,” you said over the loud music. Taehyung nodded and told you he would be right there when you got back.

You turned to Soonyoung, taking another gulp of your drink before handing it to Taehyung. Soonyoung took your hand and led you out of the kitchen and into the living area of the downstairs, right past Chan. You tried to ignore the way his eyes followed you as you passed him with his best friend. Or the way his jaw clenched as Soonyoung immediately pulled you into him, his hand on the small of your back. You moved your hips against Soonyoung’s to the beat of the music, not really caring about the people around you.

Soonyoung lowered his head, whispering in your ear, “I feel like the luckiest guy in the room.” You smiled, pink tinting your cheeks before you responded. “Why is that?” you asked. “Look at you. You’re stunning. I kind of regret not asking you out a lot sooner,” he whispered in your ear, his breath tickling your neck. You giggled, pressing a hand to his chest.

“Really? Well, what about now? Are you going to ask me out?” you asked and Soonyoung smiled against your cheek. “Didn’t I already, asking you to be my date tonight?” You sighed when his lips pressed softly against your cheek. “I’m not going to lie, (Y/N). You know that’s not really my style. But I’ve actually wanted to ask you out ever since I ran into you the other day.” His hands held your hips in place while he spoke.

“You have?” you asked breathlessly and Soonyoung smiled, nodding his head. “I have. I’ve just been too shy until now,” he muttered and you let out another sigh when his lips met your jawline. He would have continued had Jeongguk not interrupted. “Sorry, Soonyoung, I need to steal (Y/N) for a second,” he said over the music and grabbed you by the wrist, pulling you from Soonyoung’s grasp.

Jeongguk led you to the kitchen and towered over you. “I told you to stay with Taehyung!” he said and you groaned. “Gguk!! I like Soonyoung! He’s a really nice guy! And you heard him ask me out earlier!” you said exasperatedly. He was essentially cockblocking you. He shook his head. “I don’t like it. Something is off,” he said and you groaned. “What about Chan?” he asked and you shrugged. “What about him?” you asked. Jeongguk looked around before leaning in.

“Are you forgetting about last night?” You rolled your eyes. “That happened because we were both horny and intoxicated. It was nothing,” you said shrugging. Jeongguk eyed you suspiciously. “Does he feel the same way?” he asked and you nodded. You were sure that Chan felt that it meant nothing to him, too.

“I’m not so sure,” Jeongguk said and you shook your head. “It’s fine, Gguk!” you repeated. You waved him off and went back to Soonyoung who was waiting in the same spot as before. Once you were back in earshot, he asked, “what was that about?” You shook your head. “Just my best friend being cautious and protective as usual!” you said in his ear as his hands rested on your hips.

Soonyoung pulled you in closer as the song changed to something slower and more sensual. It wasn’t until you felt someone bump into you that you stopped moving to look around. Chan was making his way up the stairs, his eyes locking with yours when you looked up. He was leading a random girl up the steps. Your heart leapt in your throat and you turned your attention away from him.

You felt Soonyoung’s lips against your cheek before he whispered in your ear, “something wrong?” You shook your head and allowed him to direct your hips again. “No. Nothing,” you said. You felt him smile against your skin before his lips trailed down to your neck. 

A tiny gasp left your lips, eyes snapping open when you realized you were still in the living room, surrounded by a ton of your peers. You pulled back slightly and Soonyoung gave you a quizzical look before he looked around and understood.

He nodded his head, jerking it up toward the upper floor and you nodded, biting your bottom lip. Soonyoung took your hand and pulled you toward the base of the stairs and began leading you up, passing people who were standing there watching the crowd. Upstairs in the hallway, Soonyoung led you through the people waiting for the bathroom and those who hadn’t made it to a bedroom yet and were making out against the wall.

Soonyoung grabbed the handle of a door near the end of the hall and turned it. The unlocked door opened and inside a half naked girl with wavy short brown hair was straddling- “Oh shit! Sorry Chan!” Soonyoung laughed. Upon hearing his name, Chan looked up at the door and saw you standing there with his best friend, your hand in his.

You turned and stepped out of the room while Soonyoung backed out and shut the door before taking your hand again and leading you to another room which was thankfully empty. Soonyoung shut and locked the door behind him before pulling you into him, a smile on his face.

“Alone at last, he whispered, his free hand cupping your cheek before his lips brushed against yours, testing the waters before taking the plunge and pressing them against yours. You felt dizzy, like his kiss took your breath away. The hand that wasn’t cupping your cheek snaked around your waist, pulling you in closer. Your hands felt like putty against Soonyoung’s chest.

Without breaking the kiss, he walked you backwards until your legs hit something soft. A bed. Your heart began racing and your stomach twisted with what you assumed were nerves. Soonyoung broke the kiss and pulled away before studying your face, a lopsided grin on his face. “God you’re gorgeous,” he said brushing a few stray strands of hair out of your face. Pink tinted your cheeks and you looked down.

“If I’m moving too fast, tell me,” he said and put his finger under your chin, lifting your head so your eyes met his. “I don’t want to do anything to make you uncomfortable,” he said and you nodded. He sat you down on the bed and as you scooted back toward the center, climbed on, hovering over you before dipping down to kiss you again. His lips parted yours, allowing his tongue to slip between.

One hand was on your hip while he used his elbow to keep from weighing down on you. A soft whimper left your lips when he pressed his hips against yours, pressing his erection into your core. “Ah, that was cute,” he whispered against your lips and repeated the action, earning a deeper moan from you. You felt him smile. Soonyoung moved from your lips to your neck, kissing down to the collar of your shirt before nipping at the skin. You moaned, arching into him.

He sat back up, kneeling between your thighs before pulling his sweater off over his head, leaving him in a white tee shirt. Soonyoung leaned back down, kissing you with more vigor, his hands roaming until they found the buttons of your blouse. He undid the first two buttons, lips leaving yours again to press against your now exposed collarbone. His hand continued to make quick work of your shirt.

He pushed the fabric aside before sitting up to admire your black lace bra. His fingers skimmed over the material before he smiled up at you. He laid between your thighs, leaving kisses along your collar and down your chest, passing between your breasts as he moved lower and lower until he reached the waistband of your jeans. He slowly undid the button and zipper before pulling them down your thighs and discarding them. 

Your heart was hammering in your chest, your breathing ragged and your head spinning still. Soonyoung placed soft, wet kisses along the inside of your thigh before your stomach twisted again and this time you knew it wasn’t nerves. It was nausea.

“Stop,” you said hoarsely. At first, Soonyoung didn’t hear you so you cleared your throat and repeated yourself. Soonyoung sat up quickly, looking at you as you sat up and began buttoning your shirt. “Did I do something wrong?” he asked and you shook your head. 

“No, I just feel nauseous,” you said in a low grumble. Your head was pounding. Soonyoung hopped up and retrieved your pants, helping you into them before kneeling by the bed and putting your shoes on for you. He helped you stand up, grabbing his sweater and pulling you toward the door.

He led you back down the stairs and into the kitchen where Jeongguk, Taehyung and Jimin stood. Taehyung noticed you first and nodded. Jeongguk spun around and immediately rushed to your side before rounding on Soonyoung. “What happened?” he demanded. “She said she feels nauseous so I brought her to you. She needs to go home and sleep this off,” he said. Jeongguk eyed him suspiciously.

“You didn’t do anything to her, did you?” he asked and Soonyoung shook his head. “Absolutely not. We were upstairs making out and then she said she wasn’t feeling well,” he said and Jeongguk relaxed as he took you from Soonyoung, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. 

“Thanks, we’ll take it from here,” he said. Soonyoung nodded before looked back at you. “Text me when you wake up, okay?” he asked and you nodded, getting wobblier by the minute. “I’ll text you when we get her back to her dorm,” Jeongguk promised and Soonyoung thanked him.

Jeongguk led you out onto the deck out back where you were met with the cold night air. “Seokjin!” Jeongguk called and his friend turned to look at him. “We need to take her home. She doesn’t feel good,” he said and Seokjin turned to say goodnight to his conversation partner. He led the way out of the house and to the car where Taehyung and Jeongguk helped you into the car.

Seokjin pulled out and took the familiar route back to your dorm building. “Did she take a drink from anyone?” Seokjin asked and Jeongguk shook his head. “Not that I saw, and I trust Soonyoung didn’t give her anything,” he said. “Maybe she just drank too much too fast?” Jimin asked from the front passenger seat. “Yeah, maybe,” Jeongguk said.

They reached your dorm with ease. It took Jeongguk and Taehyung to get you out of the car and up to your room. Jeongguk sent Taehyung out while he attended to you. “Do you need to throw up?” he asked and you shook your head. “I think being out of that house helped a lot,” you admitted. “I feel much better now,” you added. Jeongguk sat next to you on the bed and rubbed your back.

“Did Soonyoung do anything?” he asked and you shook your head. “No, he was a gentleman.” Jeongguk nodded, watching you sober up a little. “Well, do you need me to stay here?” he asked and you smiled. “I’ll be okay,” you admitted. “But go ahead and send up Jimin. I could use his cuddles,” you joked and Jeongguk scoffed. “I’m offended you think his cuddles are better than mine,” he said, pretending to be hurt. You giggled and leaned into him. “I’ll be fine, Gguk. Thank you.”

Jeongguk got to his feet and made his way to your door. “Anytime, (Y/N),” he said with a smile and left. You felt your phone buzz in your pocket and you pulled it out. It was from Soonyoung.

[2019/10/12] Soonyoung [23:05]: you make it home, alright? You [23:05]: yeah. Sorry i ran out like that :/ Soonyoung [23:06]: don’t be sorry! I’m just glad you’re home safe! Don’t worry about me. I would rather you be okay. We can always go get a cup of coffee some time. My treat of course (: You [23:07]: i would like that (: Soonyoung [23:07]: then it’s a date ;)

Another text came in while you were texting Soonyoung. You opened it to see it was from Chan.

[2019/10/12] L.Chan [23:08]: hope you have fun. You [23:08]: you too.

You weren’t sure when you fell asleep but you woke up to your alarm blaring at 8:45 am. You groggily pulled yourself out of bed, your head swimming before stripping and getting into the shower. After cleaning yourself up, you got dressed and headed out with your bag for Chan’s lesson.

Upon reaching the student center, you were greeted with a sign that informed you the center was closed for maintenance. You groaned, fishing your phone out of your bag to shoot Chan a text.

[2019/10/13] You [09:19]: the student center is closed so no lesson today. See you on Wednesday.

After sending the text you head back to your dorm, determined to go back to bed and get an extra hour to sleep off your pounding headache. You had just walked in your door when your phone buzzed and you checked it. Jeongguk had texted you.

[2019/10/13] Kookie [09:47]: good morning my little croissant~! How did you sleep?? You [09:47]: ugghhhhh i got up to go to Chan’s lesson and the student center is closed. Now i’m back in my room and i’m going back to bed. My head hurts 😫 Kookie [09:48]: Soonyoung texted me last night to make sure you got home safe. Please date him. He seems like a hella nice guy and actually seems to care about you. You [09:48]: we’ll see. For now, sleep~ 😴

You kicked off your shoes and got into your bed, pulling the covers over your head and shutting your eyes. A vibration made you open them to check your phone.

[2019/10/13] Soonyoung [09:50]: morning, beautiful. You’re probably still sleeping but I just wanted to check on you and make sure you were feeling okay. Text me later~

You smiled and set your phone aside, more determined than ever to get some sleep. It came to you quickly and you slipped into slumber, awakening hours later to a setting sun. It was nearly 5 pm. You sat up and stretched. Your head felt much better but you were really thirsty now.

You got up from your bed and opened your mini fridge, grabbing a bottle of water and chugging half of it before searching for your phone in the recesses of your blankets. Your fingers brushed the smooth screen of the device and your grabbed it before bringing it up to look at it.

You had two missed calls and several missed texts.

[2019/10/13] Kookie [10:08]: i know you said you were going to sleep but can you wake up? I’m bored 😞 Kookie [11:36]: pls? Jimin and Taehyung are still sleeping too ): Kookie [13:27]: ugh this sucks. I wanna talk~ Kookie [14:03]: Soonyoung asked me if you were okay. I told him the truth that you were hibernating because you’re a fucking bear, not a human girl. Kookie [16:32]: wake up grizzly 🐻

You shook your head, taking another sip of water before opening the next set of messages.

[2019/10/13] Soonyoung [11:09]: are you awake yet? Soonyoung [12:01]: you really sleep a long time, don’t you? Soonyoung [13:42]: i was hoping we could get coffee today but you must still be sleeping ☹ Soonyoung [14:06]: i texted Jeongguk. I just wanted to make sure you were okay Soonyoung [14:09]: he says you channel your inner grizzly and hibernate on the weekends 🐻🐻 Soonyoung [14:12]: ngl that’s really cute :3 Soonyoung [15:35]: I’m not gonna keep blowing up your phone so just message me when you wake up

[2019/10/13] L.Chan [13:05]: Sorry i didn’t answer earlier. I had a LONG night lol

You answered Jeongguk’s text first.

You [16:54]: grizzly 🐻 is awake. Winter is over ❄☃️

You sent Soonyoung a reply next.

You [16:55]: yeah haha i sleep a lot. It’s a bad habit and the reason why i usually miss things ):

Finally you answered Chan.

You [16:56]: Don’t worry about it.👍🏻

The first to respond was surprisingly Chan.

[2019/10/13] L.Chan [16:58]: i was up pretty late lol You [16:59]: ...okay L.Chan [16:59]: Did you have a good night? You [17:00]: it was good. L.Chan [17:00]: ...just good? Mine was great. I wonder why you didn’t have as good of a night? You [17:01]: … 😒 L.Chan [17:02]: well, I mean, did you see Mina? I think it’s pretty obvious why I had such a great night lol

You scoffed and tossed your phone as another text from him came in but you ignored it. When your phone buzzed again, you checked it. Soonyoung had replied. You opened his messages quickly.

[2019/10/13] Soonyoung [17:05]: THERE you are! I was getting worried ☺ You [17:06]: yeah haha here i am Soonyoung [17:07]: awwww you should have let me come over Soonyoung [17:07]: We could have napped together :3 You [17:07]: that actually sounds wonderful. Raincheck?

While you waited for Soonyoung to answer, you checked Jeongguk’s text that came in.

[2019/10/13] Kookie [17:01]: well goddamn it’s about time! You [17:08]: yeah, yeah I know. Grizzly 🐻 and all that 🙄 Kookie [17:09]: more importantly how are you feeling? You [17:09]: much better than last night Kookie [17:10]: good but go back to sleep now. Get plenty of rest for tomorrow (:

You returned to Soonyoung’s text, ignoring the other text that came in from Chan.

[2019/10/13] Soonyoung [17:09]: of course! (: maybe next week? You [17:11]: that sounds perfect (: Soonyoung [17:12]: your place or mine? ;) You [17:12]: we can iron out the details later (: Soonyoung [17:13]: sounds good to me (: look I gotta run. I have some errands to do, I’ll text you later (: You [17:13]: okay! Have fun and be safe~! Soonyoung [17:14]:

Soonyoung [17:14]: ugh 😫 how are you so sweet? You [17:15]: 😚

After sending Soonyoung a text, you decided to open Chan’s messages as he kept sending them.

[2019/10/13] L.Chan [17:03]: she’s got these killer legs. I’m sure you saw L.Chan [17:03]: and her lips? God she could kill a man L.Chan [17:04]: she almost killed me 🍆👀 L.Chan [17:04]: she could make a guy fall in love 😍 L.Chan [17:05]: she knows exactly how to drive a guy crazy L.Chan [17:05]: and she’s such a tease lol L.Chan [17:07]: i’m meeting her again tonight. L.Chan [17:09]: should i bring her back to my room? L.Chan [17:11]: I think I will 😏 L.Chan [17:14]: what are you up to tonight? L.Chan [17:14]: staying in i bet? L.Chan [17:14]: why not invite Soonyoung over?? 😜 L.Chan [17:15]: I’m sure he’d love to see you again.

You turned his notifications off as your blood ran cold. Something about his wording wasn’t right. Like he was trying to make you jealous. What is his deal anyway??

P.S: WOOOOOW That was long. This is only part one!! If I had left this one piece, it would have been a behemoth. I’m really glad I split it up. I hope you guys enjoyed this! Leave any comments, keyboard smashes, or send me some asks or messages! I love talking to you guys (: Thank you so much for reading! ~K♡

[downn-in-flames]

let’s keep it casual

this was written for a trope stew challenge on @hpfanfictalk​ - my assigned tropes were 1) roaring rampage of revenge, 2) snowball lie, 3) friends with benefits, 4) it's personal, and 5) mistaken for betrayal. somehow, i think i managed to squish them all in here :P

read it on: hpft | ao3

[Tuesday 10 May, 15:04]

james potter: u up?

lily evans: it’s 3pm

james potter: good observation

lily evans: you need to get more creative with your ‘hi i’m bored can you come over and fuck me’ lines

james potter: did it work though?

lily evans: be there in 15

*

[Tuesday 10 May, 16:42]

sirius black: ran into lily in the lobby a few minutes ago sirius black: tell me, when are you going to finally own up to the fact that you fancy the shit out of her and aren’t just casually fucking her with no feelings involved

james potter: hmm, but see, that would require that statement to actually be true james potter: seriously, it’s just hooking up james potter: we’ve got a good thing going, i’m not going to ruin that by catching feelings

sirius black: ~catching~ feelings? sirius black: dude sirius black: feelings have long since been caught sirius black: by both of you

james potter: ur wrong but i’m not arguing that point with u anymore

sirius black: because your counterarguments are shit and you know it

*

[Wednesday 11 May, 20:53]

lily evans: i’m going to kill him i’m going to kill him i’m going to kill him lily evans: I’M GOING TO KILL HIM lily evans: give me ONE good reason not to commit murder right now

james potter: you can’t fuck me if you’re in prison?

lily evans: damn you have a point there

james potter: also why are you contemplating murder, that seems extreme

lily evans: two words for you: severus fucking snape

james potter: that’s three words

lily evans: do you want me to kill you too, bud??

james potter: you can’t fuck me if i’m dead james potter: but seriously, what did that greasebag do

lily evans: remember when i beat him to checking out the last copy of that chemistry research journal from the library?

james potter: i believe you described it as ‘the most victorious day of the semester to date’

lily evans: and i stand by that lily evans: but ANYWAYS lily evans: the creepy fucker SNUCK INTO MY ROOM and STOLE IT lily evans: and had the nerve to leave me a fucking LOVE NOTE in its place

james potter: he left you a love note?? james potter: what does it say?

lily evans: that is not the part of this story you should be fixating on lily evans: he wheedled his way through the front desk security and came into my room and WENT THROUGH MY STUFF lily evans: not to mention, the damn journal is still checked out in my name lily evans: so if he doesn’t return it on time, I’M going to have to pay for it lily evans: those things are expensive as FUCK

james potter: what a fucking twat

lily evans: i just lily evans: i can’t with him lily evans: the creepiness and borderline obsession with me is one thing lily evans: the fact that he acts like i owe it to him to be in love with him is another lily evans: but straight-up violating my privacy AND sabotaging my perfect reputation with the university library?? lily evans: i’m taking him down

james potter: hell yeah, you show that fucker once and for all

lily evans: wanna be my accomplice

james potter: that’s perhaps the sexiest thing you’ve ever said james potter: ofc i will be

lily evans: will text u when i come up with the appropriate revenge scheme

*

[Thursday 12 May, 13:02]

lily evans: meet me at the library in an hour

james potter: is this part of aforementioned revenge scheme?

lily evans: obviously

james potter: i shall be there

*

[Thursday 12 May, 15:23]

james potter: okay what the fuck was that

lily evans: in my defense it was not supposed to go that far

james potter: mind telling me what you DID have in mind when telling the librarian that we’re engaged?? james potter: because i’ve been wracking my brain and i’ve got nothing

lily evans: she was supposed to give me edit access to my account to fix my last name lily evans: which she did lily evans: and thanks to my BRILLIANT computer skills from there, the journal is checked out in snape’s name instead of mine lily evans: but clearly i underestimated how close i am with the uni library staff

james potter: no shit

lily evans: anyways, what do you want on our wedding registry

james potter: what

lily evans: i’ve got to give her a wedding website link!! she asked for it, i can’t very well show up at the library next week and not have a wedding website for her lily evans: i also ordered a £5 ring on etsy lily evans: it’s huge and tacky and exactly the sort of thing a trust fund baby like u would propose with

james potter: jfc james potter: put one of those mini waffle makers on there james potter: also i’m offended that you think so poorly of my ring-picking skills

*

[Friday 13 May, 9:10]

lily evans: hi, i have a weird request

remus lupin: that’s always a concerning sentence

lily evans: can you take fake engagement photos for me and james?? lily evans: will pay you in bourbon and chocolate

remus lupin: ……. literally what the fuck, lily remus lupin: why on earth do you need fake engagement photos

lily evans: i need them for our fake wedding website

remus lupin: somehow, that still doesn’t make this make any more sense

lily evans: it’s a long story lily evans: can you though?

remus lupin: *sigh* yes

lily evans: bless u

*

[Monday 16 May, 8:57]

lily evans: thoughts?? lily evans: Attachment - 12 Images

james potter: wow james potter: those look… really good

lily evans: we actually look like an engaged couple lily evans: like….. go us lily evans: alright, time to upload these bad boys onto the website

*

[Monday 16 May, 9:12]

james potter: sirius james potter: oh dear brother of mine james potter: who is nothing but kind and supportive and never gives me shit for anything james potter: how are you this fine evening?

sirius black: spit it out

james potter: as you know, i have been pulled into the most hare-brained of schemes with none other than lily evans james potter: and it spiralled into remus taking a bunch of fake engagement photos for us this weekend

sirius black: i am well aware sirius black: you stole my boyfriend from me on what would have otherwise been a chill saturday morning and used him to take pictures in a fucking flower field

james potter: that is correct james potter: anyways james potter: it has come to my attention that we make a Very Cute Couple

sirius black: are u saying what i think ur saying

james potter: and now i feel weird because i kind of... wish they weren’t fake??

sirius black: u ARE saying it sirius black: oh my GOD sirius black: took you long enough

james potter: hey now, you agreed not to give me shit

sirius black: if you scroll up, you’ll see i never agreed to anything

james potter: i can’t believe you’re being so rude to me in my time of dire emotional distress

*

[Monday 16 May, 15:32]

remus lupin: heard you finally got your head out of your ass and admitted you like evans as more than a friend slash hookup

james potter: i’m going to kill sirius, he wasn’t supposed to tell anyone

remus lupin: he’d like you to know that he never agreed to that either remus lupin: but seriously, it was about time

james potter: :( stop making me feel like an idiot for having feelings

remus lupin: you’re not an idiot for having feelings remus lupin: you ARE an idiot for taking so long to realise you’ve had them

james potter: this is a new development james potter: i only had friendly feelings for her until yesterday

remus lupin: …… james remus lupin: you once woke up in the middle of the night to drive to that 24-hour ice cream shop on the other side of town at 3 a.m. so you could take lily her favourite milkshake while she was studying remus lupin: that is NOT something you do for someone you only have friendly feelings for

james potter: it isn’t???

remus lupin: would you do that for me or peter?

james potter: no

remus lupin: hence, not friendly feelings

james potter: … oh

remus lupin: you are useless remus lupin: absolutely useless remus lupin: truly do not know what lily sees in you

james potter: well that’s mean

*

[Monday 16 May, 16:53]

lily evans: is it sad that i keep forgetting this wedding website is fake?? lily evans: like, i am putting Way Too Much Effort into this given that it is an elaborate ruse to appease some librarians and i keep catching myself fantasising about a real wedding lily evans: literally what is wrong with me

remus lupin: jfc remus lupin: you two really ARE meant for each other

*

[Monday 16 May, 23:49]

james potter: wait what do you mean ‘what lily sees in me’?? james potter: remus?????

*

[Tuesday 17 May, 10:03]

lily evans: stage 2 of burn snape’s life to the ground begins tomorrow lily evans: are you ready?

james potter: should i be prepared for a fake marriage this time?

lily evans: haha no, i promise i won’t spring any fake relationship statuses on you this time lily evans: but now that you mention it… lily evans: check out this work of art lily evans: theknot . com / deerlybeloved

james potter: fucking hell, evans james potter: you went all out

lily evans: umm yeah lol lily evans: turns out designing a wedding website is a really fun way to procrastinate

*

[Tuesday 17 May, 10:16]

james potter: she used a deer pun in the fake wedding page name i actually can’t breathe

sirius black: the transition from complete denial to pathetic sod happened even faster than i expected

james potter: you are ruthless

sirius black: remember when i was the pathetic sod about remus and you gave me SO much shit about it?? sirius black: this is payback, bitchhhhhhh

james potter: you’re right, i deserve this

*

[Wednesday 18 May, 19:34]

james potter: truly, evans, i don’t understand why you’re studying chem when you’re this good at hacking into things james potter: in other news, i’m having the absolute fucking time of my LIFE on snape’s reddit account rn james potter: i just wrote a long essay about how i’ve learned the errors of my bigoted ways and am embracing the blm movement and intersectional feminism and i’ve never seen something get so violently downvoted so fast

lily evans: see, this is why i knew you were the right accomplice for this lily evans: keep destroying his internet reputation and trolling his weird alt-right community with all your research and logic lily evans: you’re doing amazing sweetie

james potter: studying human rights law does occasionally have its perks james potter: this, plus ya know the whole ‘making the world a better place’ thing

lily evans: i was about to say lily evans: i should hope the only perk isn’t trolling the internet

james potter: ahahahahah yessss one of the admins is threatening to kick me out james potter: also he keeps using mudblood as an insult and i’m like ??? james potter: what does that even mean??

lily evans: somehow i feel like you don’t want to know

james potter: update i found out, and yes you were right, i didn’t want to know

lily evans: in that case, not gonna ask

*

[Thursday 19 May, 17:35]

severus snape: Potter.

james potter: fuck i really thought i’d blocked your number

severus snape: You’ve pulled childish pranks in the past, but getting me banned from the Death Eaters Messageboard is a new low.

james potter: i’m sorry what james potter: i don’t know what you’re talking about

severus snape: Cut the bullshit. severus snape: In the process of reinstating my account - with none of my reputation points, might I add, thanks for that - I’ve acquired photo evidence of the posts that resulted in my expulsion. severus snape: I know no one else who would both make a play on words about deer and quote a Taylor Swift song in the same sentence. It was obviously you, you childish buffoon.

james potter: haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate

severus snape: I’m not joking around here.

james potter: baby i’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

severus snape: You’re going to regret this, mark my words.

james potter: i shake it off, i shake it off

james potter has blocked severus snape

*

[Thursday 19 May, 19:03]

lily evans: come over i’m bored

james potter: is this a ‘come over so we can have sex’ type of come over or a ‘come over so we can watch the good place for the hundredth time’ type of come over

lily evans: why does it have to be one or the other?

james potter: touché james potter: omw

*

[Thursday 19 May, 22:38]

james potter: RED ALERT I HAVE FUCKED UP james potter: you’re 1000% gonna roast me for this and i don’t fucking care because if i don’t tell someone i’m actually going to explode

sirius black: what happened with lily this time

james potter: bold of you to assume this has to do with lily

sirius black: does it have to do with lily?

james potter: ….. yes

sirius black: my bold assumption proven correct

james potter: anyways, we were shagging, as we do james potter: and it was the ~heat of the moment~, you know??

sirius black: i am not qualified to give you sex advice, if that’s where this is going

james potter: and i might’ve accidentally told her i loved her

sirius black: oh fuck that’s not where this was going

james potter: and now i don’t know what to doooooo

sirius black: well, what did you do after you said it?

james potter: honestly i blacked out james potter: i think i backtracked by telling her i meant that i love fucking her and then just like….. left as soon as we were done

sirius black: jesus fucking CHRIST

*

[Thursday 19 May, 22:54]

remus lupin: sirius is banging his head on the table repeatedly and given that he was texting you a few minutes ago i can only assume you said something on a whole new level of stupid

*

[Thursday 19 May, 23:01]

james potter: sirius??? james potter: help???

sirius black: i have never gone out on a date with a woman and even i can tell you that that is absolutely NOT what you do when you tell a girl you love them for the first time sirius black: you absolute knob

james potter: so what do i doooooo

sirius black: tell her the truth maybe? sirius black: the cat’s out of the bag now anyways and it’s not like you can make things any worse than you already have

james potter: but we agreed no one was going to catch feelings when we started sleeping together!! james potter: we pinky swore james potter: i can’t break a pinky swear

sirius black: ffs the fact that you two pinky swore on a sex agreement is something i’ll need to give you shit for at a totally separate time but that’s not the most pressing issue at the moment sirius black: my point stands, breaking a pinky swear is still an improvement on the current situation sirius black: just tell her the truth so you two can become that nauseatingly adorable couple and overtake me and remus as the most vomit-inducing pair in college

james potter: ughhhhh james potter: curse my blood-deprived brain for getting me into this mess

*

[Saturday 21 May, 9:37]

lily evans: phase 4 of fucking up snape’s life starts today - you ready?

james potter: uhhh yeah james potter: listen, are you okay?

lily evans: yes? why wouldn’t i be?

james potter: idk james potter: but good, that’s good

lily evans: yep, it’s good

james potter: how many phases are there to this snape plan anyways? james potter: will i get to know any of the phases in advance?

lily evans: 4 phases lily evans: phase 1 was putting the world back in its rightful order, phases 2-4 are all about destroying the things he holds most dear lily evans: see: his top 5 placement on that alt-right message board (phase 2), and his good reputation with all the chem professors (phase 3) lily evans: (i handled phase 3 on my own, btw)

james potter: fair enough, don’t know how i would’ve helped with chem professors anyways james potter: pretty sure one of them (slughorn i think?) hates me from that one time sirius and i let chickens loose in the science building

lily evans: oh god yeah he definitely probably does lily evans: anyways, phase 4 is sneaking into his room like he did to mine, and you’re gonna leave the note lily evans: he’ll be properly pissed off if he knows you got in, but he’d probably just wank to a note i left

james potter: thanks for the most cursed mental image of my life james potter: but you’re prob right tbh

lily evans: anyways, i’m pretty good at picking the locks on the dormitory windows, so i’ll go in that way and unlock his room from the inside - all you’ll need to do is show up lily evans: tonight at 7

james potter: roger that

*

[Saturday 21 May, 13:46]

remus lupin: have you talked to lily about the infamous mid-coital ‘i love you’ yet?

james potter: jfc must sirius tell you everything james potter: and no, i’m getting there i swear

remus lupin: get there faster

*

[Saturday 21 May, 22:40]

sirius black: is everything okay?? sirius black: actually wait i know the answer to that sirius black: you came in soaking wet two hours ago and grabbed the bottle of whiskey from the kitchen and have been blasting all too well at top volume ever since sirius black: everything is definitely not okay

james potter: fcuk lily evans james potter: and not in the fun way james potter: i’m never gonna fuck her in the fun way again

sirius black: what happened?

james potter: rememember how we were sabotaging snep’s life james potter: *sneep james potter: *snape james potter: turns out, she and sneep go way back james potter: motherfucker james potter: sneep is jsut his name now james potter: anyways, she set me up and betrayed me james potter: sneep knew i was gonna be there and put a booby trap on his door, and he and lily were inside LAUGHING at me

sirius black: wait what the fuck sirius black: lily would never

james potter: but she would apparently james potter: she even has pictures of them in primary school together james potter: i just james potter: fuck

sirius black: that’s actually beyond fucked up

james potter: originally this whole revenge on sneep thing was just me following along with lily’s rage james potter: but now it’s personal james potter: the lily revenge plan didn’t have a phase 5, but the james version does james potter: and i’m taking both of them dwon james potter: is it petty? yes james potter: will it actually fix th fact that evans betrayed me? no james potter: but will it make me feel better? yess james potter: and that, i think, is a valid reason james potter: will u hlep me??

sirius black: i mean, i’m always down to fuck with sneep sirius black: but uhh, maybe sleep off the alcohol first sirius black: and stop playing all too well

james potter: okye

sirius black: that was not an invitation to start playing you’re not sorry

james potter: taylor swift is th eonly person who gets my sadness right now i cant’ help it

*

[Sunday 22 May, 9:21]

lily evans: i called you like 5 times last night, why didn’t you pick up

james potter: i wasn’t aware you’d want to talk to me james potter: too busy hanging out with your bff sneep

lily evans: jfc you’re such a drama queen

james potter: excuse me

lily evans: also god no i’d never hang out with snape lily evans: sneep? lol

james potter: it was a typo that i’m making into an Official Thing james potter: you two seemed awfully cozy yesterday james potter: you know, when you betrayed me and led me straight into a trap

lily evans: ffs i didn’t betray you lily evans: if you would’ve picked up any of my calls last night, i would’ve been able to explain to you that this was all part of the plan

james potter: wait what

lily evans: i had to make you think i’d betrayed you because you can’t act for shit

james potter: why did you need me to think that

lily evans: for the real phase 4 lily evans: i’m destroying everything snape holds dear lily evans: which, yes, includes both his weird messageboard reputation and his teacher’s pet status, but you know what’s at the very top of that list? lily evans: his perpetual wank that i’m going to realise he was the perfect man for him all along lily evans: hence, i have lulled him into a false sense of believing his fantasy has finally come true so i can crush it under my heel once and for all

james potter: that is… downright diabolical

lily evans: i take revenge crusades very seriously

james potter: ok but how do i know you’re not double crossing me again?

lily evans: bc for fuck’s sake in what world would i EVER want to be with someone who treats me like a fucking prize that he’s owed for being nice to me as a kid?? lily evans: c’mon potter, you know me better than that

james potter: it felt SO REAL yesterday though

lily evans: that is because i, unlike you, am excellent at acting

james potter: why do you keep implying i’m a bad actor??

lily evans: because you are lily evans: exhibit a - you told me you loved me and then proceeded to full-on panic so hard that you gave the world’s worst cover up and ran away at the first possible moment

james potter: oh god, you noticed that

lily evans: of course i noticed that, because once again, you are the world’s worst actor

james potter: yikes james potter: i’m sorry, i know i managed to break literally the only rule we had going into this arrangement

lily evans: it’s actually kinda convenient, tbh lily evans: considering i broke it as well

james potter: you what

lily evans: as it happens, i have somewhat recently come to the realisation that my feelings for you are somewhat outside the bounds of what one would consider ~friendly~

james potter: was it the wedding website james potter: is that what did it

lily evans: embarrassingly enough…. yes

james potter: SAME

lily evans: wait seriously??

james potter: so serious i’m not even gonna make a sirius pun james potter: i mean, did you SEE how good we look together?? james potter: evans, we are a POWER COUPLE

lily evans: hell yes we are

james potter: a power couple who takes sneep down once and for all

lily evans: hell yes we are x100 lily evans: come over in a bit? gotta discuss the actual plan lily evans: i may have an idea that makes it even better

*

[Sunday 22 May, 10:21]

james potter: on second thought, plans have changed yet again

sirius black: i take it this is a positive change sirius black: given that you have now taken to blasting call it what you want

james potter: :)

*

[Sunday 22 May, 13:05]

james potter has unblocked severus snape

james potter: hey bro i just wanted to say i’m sorry for trying to sneak into your room

severus snape: You’re not my bro. Don’t call me that. severus snape: We both know you’re only apologising because you wanted to get into Lily’s pants.

james potter: not what this is about but go off i guess

severus snape: You’re just jealous because for once, the nice guy did get the girl. severus snape: Apology not accepted, by the way.

*

[Sunday 22 May, 13:13]

james potter: Attachment - 1 Screenshot james potter: at what point do i get to tell him i’ve actually been in your pants

lily evans: your time will come lily evans: but for now, stop texting sneep and put your phone down so that you can cuddle with your naked girlfriend who’s literally on the other side of the bed waiting for you

james potter: don’t have to ask me twice

*

[Sunday 22 May, 13:57]

lily evans: hey sev? wanna meet me at the founder’s garden this afternoon?

severus snape: Of course. Let’s do 4.

lily evans: looking forward to it xx

*

[Sunday 22 May, 18:59]

sirius black: heard sneep had a temper tantrum so dramatic half of the college overheard it

james potter: it was iconic

sirius black: also heard you and evans are engaged now???

james potter: ah, that part is just hearsay james potter: we decided to lean into the fact that we’ve already got a fake wedding website and just throw a fake proposal in there for good measure james potter: it’s still not an actual engagement james potter: but sneep doesn’t know that, and he never will

sirius black: that is so fantastically stupid, but then again, i don’t know why i’d expect anything less from you two at this point

james potter: i am going to buy her a less shitty ring though - not like an actual diamond one, but something in the middle ground, ya know? james potter: if she’s gonna wear it all the time it might as well be nice

*

[Sunday 22 May, 23:41]

severus snape: You are despicable. severus snape: You stole the girl who was clearly MINE. Lily loved ME first.

james potter: first of all, lily doesn’t belong to anyone james potter: second of all, she picked me

severus snape: And we all know you’re just going to drop her as soon as you get your dick wet.

james potter: not that our sex life is any of your business, but i can assure you that i have already disproven that theory

severus snape: That’s disgusting. I didn’t need to know that.

james potter: i mean, you’re the one who keeps bringing things back to getting into lily’s pants james potter: just wanted to share that the experience is indeed a pleasant one, 10/10 would recommend, not that you’ll ever get to experience it for yourself

severus snape: Fuck. You.

james potter: you know what i think, sneep?

severus snape: My name is Snape. Surely your pea brain can at least spell that properly.

james potter: i think you need to calm down james potter: you’re being too loud

james potter has blocked severus snape

*

[Monday 23 May, 12:54]

lily evans: fyi the uni library staff sent us one of those mini waffle makers as an engagement gift

james potter: oh my god james potter: best fake engagement ever

lily evans: figured you’d enjoy that