#yes!!! yes we did!!!! its not as detailed and not as efficient!! but the principles behind it is the same!!!

[kurashikeys]

ok so. i know people hate ai here, at least in its current capitalism driven form. we all know the discourse points, im not gonna rehash the existing arguments for or against ai bc thats not the point of this post. this post is only for asking a question about something i really really dont get

what makes creativity unique to humans?

and, i think i should write about my own view on this so that the question and the intent behind the question is completely clear. im not here with a truly formed opinion and trying to vouch for anything. im looking for other perspectives

first thing you need to know about me is that im on the autism spectrum. the second is that im a muslim. these two things inform most of the base of my thinking and decision making. and also science, i guess. i AM still an engineer

so, someone claiming to be muslim, to believe in a single and all powerful creator, asking a question about the uniqueness of humanity might seem weird. but, “causality” is very much a core of islam. everything that happens have a cause, and yes this goes for every “supernatural” looking event as well. yes, god is making the world turn and the rain fall and the flowers bloom and the sun set and so on. yes these all have their own causes in the form of physical laws. its important to understand that these causes do not negate the role of god, it just negates the ways to “prove” the existence of a creator. which. isnt relevant to this topic so i should rerail

so. causes. human body, human brain, also has them. 

our eyes are incredible. our ears, hands, livers, the whole deal. its all incredible. they are miracles. but, they are not magical. its all still working according to physical laws.

im a computer vision engineer, so lets take our visual system for example. the pupils of our eyes are, basically, small holes for light to get in. this light, drops on the retina, and is converted to electrical signals, which are then carried to the related parts of the brain via the optic nerves. this is the complex part, which i do not know enough about to get into, begins. all i know is that its a bunch of math. our brains are constantly doing calculus and using multiple very complex algorithms to give meaning to the images our eyes capture.

what i do for my job is a very crude version of this. sometimes i use deep learning to help with more sophisticated problems as well. but basically, all our projects have the same parts: a camera/eye, some cabling/neurons, and a computer/brain. and sometimes robotic hands too. those are usually not the parts im dealing with.

and honestly, most of the computer technology is like this. from the very start from back in the 20th century, the basis was always how the brain works, either intentionally, or unintentionally. the way it resembles our brain kept evolving, and now we have deep learning algorithms. which, according to my preschool education major ex-roommate, work very similar to how children learn. you just keep showing the program data and tell it what that specific piece of data is about, and it draws its own conclusions about what “makes” that data. honestly, one of my biggest gripes about working with these systems is that i dont need to code or debug as much as my other projects. if there’s something wrong, 99.99% of the time, its about the dataset

returning to the visual system again, the way digital vision systems and the human visual system works is so similar that, there have been recent studies and working prostheses for blind people that send the visuals from a camera directly to the patient’s brain. these systems still need a lot of work to be able to be used widely, but it proves that we can convert our digital data to signals that can be interpreted by our nervous system.

thats a lot of ranting to say basically 2 main things:

1. the human body isnt magical. it works according to existing physical laws, most of which we already understand. the way i see it, there’s no reason for us not to be able to understand exactly how our brains work. and this includes the concept of “creativity” as well (which i dont think we need to understand to replicate, but again, another topic. another rant.)

2. our technology already resembles us so much, and we keep improving upon what we have. i said before that the human body is a miracle, and honestly? i think what we can do with some plastic and some metal is also a miracle. if something is possible with the existing laws of physics, then it can be replicated using only metal and plastic. thats incredible.

and based on these two points, i cannot imagine a future where we cannot achieve AGI. and i cannot see a reason that makes us “unique” in the way that it cant be replicated

also, im pretty sure i can write all my thought processes in pseudocode and mathematical notation, so i do not see what prevents us from replicating a human brain. tho as i said, im autistic, so this could just be a case where my brain is the outlier.

i guess i lied. i guess i do have a formed opinion. the goal of this post stands, however. i really wanna see this from other people’s perspectives, and understand what these unique human qualities that cannot be broken down to maths and algorithms are. especially from people with brains that work differently from me

[edmund-valks]

Ilandreline - Just One Cookie

(( Part I: The Call ))

(( Part II: A Compound Beginning ))

If you listened closely enough, you could hear the emptiness breathing.

It was fascinating to consider, or would have been if it weren't also slightly terrifying.  There was no reason for this space to sound like the lungs of some unutterable beast, yet it did.  Everything she knew about the Shadowed Path said it was empty, that nothing dwelt here and nothing could.  Perhaps nothing did.  What if the very substance of the Path was alive in some fashion?  The implications were-

Not important right now.  That was her mother's voice, reminding her that there would only be time for later speculation if she lived to do it.  Smart folk did not dally on these roads, even those who knew how to walk them.  They were treacherous, and Ilandreline did not mean their terrain.  She'd lost a distant cousin to them more than a century earlier, and supposedly even the one who'd known enough to open the First Tree to the darkness at its roots hadn't known enough to come back.

But they were fast.  She'd used them to get to Kalimdor in a few days, or to get from Tirisfal to her family's lands in an hour.  Time and distance worked differently here, or perhaps they worked exactly the same and locationality was the odd one.  There were multiple frames of reference to choose from, but they all boiled down to the same result: travel here was vastly more efficient than on Azeroth.  Which is why you need to get moving instead of standing around!

Her feet started moving again, picking their way over what she assumed counted as "the ground".  It was definitely dirt-like, and there were… grassish things… to either side, but it didn't smell quite right.  Not for nature, at least.  Most plants didn't smell so strongly of iron.  No, not iron.  She sniffed again, trying to place it.  Ah, right.  Blood.  Fresh blood, at that, before it dulled to a brown stain on the stones.  She wondered what this place would look like in sunlight.  Would its appearance match the sharp scents?  Could it even exist under such harsh light?

Despite carrying no torch, Ila was grateful for the sun's absence.  Her sensitive eyes could remain free of the goggles for a little longer, taking in all the subtle variations of shadow that were lost in the harshness of day.  She hadn't noticed how much she'd missed living with naked eyes until she'd started visiting with Granny Laine.  The Respite was a lot of things, but even Silverpine gloom didn't compare to the tranquil shade of their forest.  When she’d left the Ghostlands a few years ago, she’d felt like she had no home; now it seemed she’d found two.  Ilandreline smiled at that, letting her mind wander as much as her body.

Time definitely didn’t function normally in the space.  The pocket watch she’d made in her early days with the Fence told her it had been an hour, but her legs said it was much longer than that despite only feeling like fifteen minutes had passed.  She pushed on, digging into her snack bag to put some energy back into her muscles.  An hour later by internal reckoning -- and half that by the watch -- she stumbled out of sheer exhaustion and decided maybe it wasn’t time to get back up just yet.  Had it been two hours or twelve?  How far had she gone?  Why were her first days’ meals gone already and how was she still hungry?

Her eyelids were heavy, far heavier than they should’ve been.  “Fuck it, nap time.”  The words came out slurred.  It was a struggle just to move her pack beneath her head, to use it as a pillow.  Before she drifted off, Ila stuffed one of her grandmother’s cookies into her mouth, figuring there was no better time for some homemade coziness than immediately before passing out to sleep entirely unprotected in the nightmarish wilderness-phase running tangent to her plane of origin.  Aurelaine often joked she’d baked quite a few dishes with a lot of love in her younger days, where love was a euphemism for any number of exciting poisons.  As she swallowed the last of the cookie and drifted into the deeper darkness of sleep, Ilandreline was quite positive she could taste some of that same love now.

***

Waking up felt surprisingly pleasant and not at all terrifying.  Granny Laine was there, looking amused, and a vine had grown over her, but otherwise everything seemed… fine.  Good, even.  Ila stood and stretched, yawning, considering the last time sleep had left her so refreshed.  Never?  That sounded right.

"Couldn't help sneaking a treat before bed, eh?"  Her grandmother's voice was mock-chiding, the only good kind of chiding to receive from her.  "I should've known."

The vine tried to slither back around her leg, so she kicked it.  "You didn't give me cookies to not eat them.  It was lonely and I thought a taste of home would be nice.  Didn't expect it to, I dunno, summon you or whatever."

"Is that what you think they did?"

The young elf shrugged, gathering her gear and preparing to get back on the road.  "You're here, aren't you?  Shall we?"

Her grandmother made an indeterminate noise in her throat but began walking beside her nonetheless.  It was nice, really.  They'd gone for a few strolls back home, but there were always people around to cause trouble.  Not here.  It was just the two of them and an entire ecology built on what sure seemed to be carnivorous plants.

They walked in silence for some time, only pausing for Ilandreline to sip the water she'd brought, trying to get the leftover tastes from the night out of her mouth.  Everything, even the air, had an unusual taste; not of decay as she'd expected.  Instead it was something remembered from childhood, one of those memories that hid if you looked straight at it.  She'd have to sneak up on it by pretending to be interested in something else.

"So is this one of those things where we walk and you point out little things I need to know to survive or grow or whatever?"

She saw the cryptic smile from the corner of her eye.  "Something like that, perhaps.  Do you still need me holding your hand?"

"What?  No!  I just… not all of this comes easy, you know that.  I'm fine with making things up as I go, but that's really dangerous with… this stuff."  Ila gestured broadly, encompassing their entire surroundings.  "I like to have the numbers on my side.  There aren't any numbers here, no science.  It's all, I don't know, epistemological gradients or something."

Aurelaine laughed, a gravelly sound bordering on coughing.  A chortle!  That's what one sounds like.  "You're not wrong, child.  I'm only along to observe.  Maybe I can point something out that helps; maybe I even will.  This is your journey, though, not mine.  I've had my share already, paid the prices."

That made sense.  They continued, once more quiet, moving too fast and too slow at once, causing everything around them to be in perfect detail as it warped under the effects of tunnel vision.  The metallic taste remained in the back of her throat, tickling the corners of recollection.  She refused to focus on it, knowing that to do so would ensure she never remembered the answer.

Everything changed from one blink to the next.  The landscape was even darker now, near blinding to her gifted sight.  Her nostrils flared, the distinct aroma of blood foremost in the air, enough to make one hungry.  Or perhaps that was unrelated; journeys required food.  As she went for her trail mix, something caught her wrist, stopped it entirely.  Frowning, she glanced down to find a rubbery tendril wrapped around her arm.  "Fuck off," she said, getting no reaction.  The next best idea would be to cut it, but the only knife she had at the moment was not one she was willing to risk on a simple tentacle.  She looked over to her grandmother instead.  "Any chance you can do something about this?"

Grey eyebrows arched as eyes flicked from Ilandreline’s face to the appendage and back.  “Of course I can.”  She paused then deliberately added, “I won’t.”

Should’ve expected as much.  “This one of those ‘your journey, your problem’ moments?”  When Aurelaine nodded, she sighed.  Time to figure it out then.  There was a way; she was supposed to find it.  Trial by fire and all that.

“If I go solving your problems,” the predictable lecture began, “you’ll keep expecting me to give you the answers.  We both know that’s not how you learn.  You want to see the whole process, derived from first principles.  That way you can extend the logic as far as it goes, come up with your own hypotheses.  It also ensures you aren’t limited by the pace of your teacher, doesn’t it?”

The fraction of her consciousness paying attention laughed.  “Sure does.  Saves them the trouble of trying to answer all my ‘why’ questions, too, so it’s really a service when you think about it.  Don’t have to ask why if I’ve already done the math.”

“Yes, yes, I’m well aware that you’re infuriating, Lina, you don’t have to remind me.”  Dry humour ran in the family even if it skipped a generation.  “Getting back to the matter at hand, I’d simply remind that little pest about the order of things.  It’s a remnant, a cast-off, a weak afterthought of a failed god’s stray thoughts.  A pale imitation of the majesty to be found in the Great Dark, yearning to be more than it ever could.  I’d simply banish it and move on.”

That was one possibility then, banishment.  And how did banishing work?  Ila tried to dredge up the memories of mostly futile arcane schooling, seeking the bits that had remained.  Summoning circles… banishing circles?  An inversion of process, though the commanding nature remained constant.  How did that work for her, though?  She knew how to draw the runes, but had never been able to power them independently.  Blood would work, of course, had she prepared the circle already.  There had to be another way.

She rolled back through the words, sifting through them more by “feel” than analysis.  Hunches were the backbone of discovery; you felt something would be the answer, so you thought through the possibility.  What else had been hinted at?  Remnant.  Afterthought.  Failed.  Imitation.  Yearning.  Afterthought-Imitation-Yearning.  Was there something there?  She ran her tongue along the backs of her teeth, tasting iron and arsenic and something more as her mind kicked into gear.

The order of things.  These paths were bored through the near-realms of Azeroth by the so-called Old Gods, the entrapped dwellers-between-stars her grandmother held in such low esteem.  A trapped god was no god at all, for a proper god could not be limited.  That meant any of their leftovers were inherently inferior to the powers receiving her family’s offerings.  Not that creatures spawned from the lesser entities recognized Glimmerbow authority, but they should have.  There was that connection, like distant cousins where one is heir to a throne and the other is a cast-off from some hedge knight.

Oh, is that it?  Connectivity?  Like to like?  The tendril tightened, squeezing her bones.  It was starting to hurt.  If she waited too much longer, she might have to finish her trip with a shattered wrist.  Time to see if I learned anything.

Ilandreline focused the entirety of her consciousness on the wriggling mass, willing her vision to bore through the layers to see down to where it was no longer a physical appendage.  Deep down, it was a thoughtform, a psychic remnant, a projection, and she needed to see that.  How long it took to finally happen, she didn’t know.  She was drenched in sweat, and shaking from the effort, but she could see it clearly.

Banishment would require antithesis, but… that’s not what this is.  We’re the same, aren’t we, cousins from the same blood?  I can’t banish myself.  So what if…  She turned most of her attention inward, leaving only enough out to keep firm mental grasp on the essence of her assailant.  There was this dead-end creature left behind by one of the Four… and then there was her.  They were different, except where they weren’t.  Similarity was what she needed now.

She burrowed into herself, pushing through the layers of supposed sophistication.  On the lowest level she was not an elf, or even something shaped.  She was an extension of the universe’s primal forces, a conduit of the Eternal Dark.  At that point, she was what the tentacle thought itself to be.  Letting herself dwell entirely in that space, she lost her self and called out to this distant cousin.  See me, her mind cried, know me for what I am!

Their sameness was her focus, to establish communion.  Something resonated -- somehow -- drawing the psychic echo toward her.  She could feel its alienness, the oil-slick of fractal madness in its relict consciousness, just as surely as she knew her own essence was vastly more potent.  What others would call the taint of her heritage was a strength here; she formed a pseudopod of self, vibrating midnight purple, and whipped outward.  The sensation of startlement rippled across her mind, followed immediately by the primal panic of something being drawn to its inexorable demise.

The tendril was swallowed within her, its corrupt form dissolving within her purity of faith.  A priest of the Glimmerbows was an architect of dissolution, a bringer of endings to foster the chaos of the new.  What she hadn’t expected was the way it became a part of her.

Ila had never been at war in her own mind before.  This severed piece of a dead un-god struggled with all its might to avoid being broken down, flailing every which way.  For a moment she worried she might lose and end up a prisoner in her own flesh.  Then reason reasserted itself, and the flexibility of mind her grandmother had praised made clear its value.  She bent without breaking, absorbed the harshest assaults, returned to form without permanent deformation.  And then she swallowed it whole, allowing the thing to be torn apart and joined with her essence.

Shaking so hard she couldn’t have written a single legible letter, the elf opened her eyes.  Her grandmother faded from sight, though her approving gaze lingered.  The overlapping flavours of multiple poisons lingered, dancing over her taste buds and scratching at her throat.  She had no idea where she was, though she knew she had been walking all this time.  The ligature marks of the tentacle remained on her forearm, though, proof that something had happened, that she had conquered the smallest challenge.

Several deep breaths later, the shivering stopped.  Her whole body still tingled, the aftereffects of an adrenaline overdose, but that was manageable.  She took a swig of water to put moisture back into her body, then pulled the “map” from her inside jacket pocket.  It was more algorithmical than cartographical, but she read it as easily as Thalassian.  There was… a place to be, and she was much closer now than when she had started.

Through an act of will, Ilandreline set her legs in motion again.  There would be others, she knew.  This realm was made from the dreams of god-corpses, an afterimage of what they’d tried to make real.  But she had proof they paled before the strength Aurelaine had cultivated in her.  Let the dead gods try their worst.

Stretching out through the mental channels her hallucinations had opened, she tasted the planar gradient and turned toward her destination.  Plum was home and nightmare was the enemy, but blood and bone and leaf and light showed the way.  Not entirely certain the poisons had actually left her system, Ila climbed toward her destination unaware of the horrific grin on her face.

[robiness]

Qrow was meant to be a punching bag (theory, V7CH12 spoilers)

tw: depression, one brief mention of suicide at the very end

Many are upset about the literal and narrative butchering of two beloved characters in RWBY V7E12. The initial and probably most popular argument against what happened is that it doesn’t make sense, why would these characters do what they did. And honestly, that reasonable reaction to the injustice was mine, too.

But now that I’ve “calmed down”, meaning I’m finally not in a whirlwind of blind rage, indignation, and devastation, I started thinking about “Why did they do that?” with some level of depth. 

The answer I found is still unjust and disgusting, but at least it fell in line with something resembling logic.

Qrow enthusiasts have been complaining about his endless heartbreak. Why can’t be be happy for once? What’s the whole point in his recovery arc this volume if they’ll just scrap it? It’s like they put random tragedies on a dart board and the writers just started throwing.

Hear me out - they meant all of this. Every instance Qrow suffered is intended. They didn’t throw away his recovery arc because he was never meant to recover. 

I think that they’re going to make him an antagonist at worst, or a man driven to the ultimate tragedy at best. 

At this point, you’re probably like. What. Lol no. You’re as silly as the writers are.

But again, let me explain. I used to have that mindset of Qrow always being best but sad boy. A hero who just needs a chance. 

There was NO way this man will ever go dark:

he probably thinks he lost summer to salem

his nieces are actively hunted by salem and her forces, and RWBY for sure ain’t changing sides 

he’s always believed in the principles he has, and he’s always applied them. he’s a good Huntsman who cares, and knows his path 

he believes in ruby’s determination and ability to probs save the world

But that’s the thing.

He’s ALWAYS stuck by the principles he learned from Ozpin. Betrayal after betrayal, he was crushed but managed to somehow bounce back. 

This volume, he was on a good track. A good mind space. His kids are great, but then he met an equal - someone with literal plot armor against his Semblance. Misfortune is the reason why he stays away from the people he loves, why he blames himself for a lot of things, why he feels like baggage. 

A person his age who could be a friend, or more. Huntsman of equal ability and maturity.

Queerbaiting aside (I’m sorry I ever used that phrase, I hate them too), Clover was a possibility. Here was a potential team partner, friend, lover, whatever, but the point is he was finally free to explore what a developing relationship is like because here’s a guy who kinda got him, and probably won’t be harmed by staying close for an extended period of time. 

I think the chemistry in their fights solidified this too. Clover was someone who didn’t get in trouble by being at his side (except the first time in the mines, and Clover took it in stride and still succeeded).

Even better, Clover actually vocalizes that hey, it’s okay.

He doesn’t dismiss Qrow’s semblance, but he encourages Qrow to let go of the guilt a bit, that he’s worth more than his bad luck, and can continue to work around it. 

Qrow was nowhere near full recovery, but he was definitely on the way with a bit of Clover’s help. Later, my precious man finally smiles for real... not his smirk or sad smiles to Ruby. He’s smiling for the enjoyment of the moment and things are looking up!

(slightly sorry for the gif below)

(V7CH12 gifs would be appropriate from here on, but I am NOT doing that to myself)

So what’s the point, Robiness? We all know how THAT story goes. Qrow gets trauma because it’s shown to him, yet again, that his Semblance fucks up the good things, that even someone with the most potential to be safe ISN’T. Not around him. 

The whole crash was OOC, rushed and bad writing, whatever. But why did it happen? 

Qrow is basically the poster boy for mental health in this show. He’s depressed, and to him AND to the outside world, he’s right in thinking he’s only going to hurt people. He’s been proven right, many times, that he is bad luck.

What’s different this time?

He didn’t have hope, the other times he was let down. He had hope for humanity, yes, and that he can somehow contribute to saving it.

But he’s never had hope for himself, that he could be more than his Semblance. Clover’s character gave that to him. He was already trying to quit drinking, but that was for Ruby and the other kids, and by extension their mission, but not for himself.

When CRWBY killed that hope, it killed anything inside of Qrow that could’ve thought that he could be a hero. Or even simply better than he was before.

He’s crushed, his mind is clouded. As Clover died, he wanted to kill Tyrian, then he wanted James to fall. The legal type of justice wouldn’t be enough to assuage his need for vengeance. 

And he’s alone. Perhaps about to be arrested, I don’t know. But every other time he’s been crushed, he had the kids around to divert the attention even a little bit. But this time, there’s no one to help him process and move past this. No positivity from Ruby, no scolding from Yang to keep it together. No one.

If you’ve ever had mental illnesses, you could probably imagine being alone in that fragile state of mind. 

And you know who’s the most likely to know where the heck he is and that he’s going through something? His sister, Raven, because of her Semblance. 

Details have been important in how RWBY is told to the audience (though they retract when convenient lol). Sometimes, this includes release dates. February is the last month of winter, slowly turning into spring. Yes, I mean the Spring maiden. 

Let’s talk about Raven. 

She’s angry at her brother, also for feelings of betrayal. He betrayed their tribe, their values, everything they stood for. He left her, his sister. He chose Ozpin’s mission over her, even though their original plan was to just infiltrate Beacon to learn how to kill Huntsmen better. 

This means she remembers a boy that had the same ideas and supported her and their family. I don’t think she can accept that this Qrow, the one we know, is her actual brother, how he should be. When it comes to Qrow, I think what matters to her the most is proving that she was right all along, that they should’ve just stuck together and kept to their practices. 

And Qrow, regardless of the spring bit, if he encounters her as he is now... could easily believe that she was right. After all, the facts to him are:

He can’t escape his Semblance, ever.

He needs vengeance for Clover, because his death was his fucking fault. His attempt to deescalate the fight (leaving Harbinger in the snow) didn’t matter, because his bad luck won in the end. 

A plausible 3. Doing things “the good way” “the right way” is never going to cut it for him because he is walking misfortune. Something will always go wrong.

So why not drop all fucks and go ahead full-force?

His mind isn’t in its best state right now, and all his decisions will of course be emotional. 

We’ve known Qrow from point A depression to point B somewhat recovery to point C the last fucking straw. I think it’s something to consider that we’ve never heard anything about his youth, except that he used to believe in the brutality of their tribe. He never mentions it, and we don’t know anything about the circumstances that made him change, beyond “Ozpin gave him a place”. 

He gave up his heritage just to be proven that brutality would have protected his loved ones better. 

So yes, the punching bag theme, the endless misery, Clover’s death - all these are most likely building up to that shift in his character. We thought the eventual character shift would just be his recovery, but since that was scrapped, the only other way that makes sense is that he’s going to regress into someone that cannot be saved.

He’s not going to switch sides. He’s not going to stop loving his kids. He’s probably never going to join Salem. 

But his methods will be more ruthless now, driven by heartbreak and rage and self-hatred. God knows how he’ll deal with anyone in his way. He’s not going to fucking listen. He listened to Clover, and where did that get him? 

This way, the violent, straightforward way he used to know, this would protect his kids more efficiently, even if they don’t want him to go down that path. He’d probably leave them to protect them, and to be unhindered in his corner of the war.  

He’ll think that this - to be a rage-filled killing machine - would be the best case scenario for him and the rest of the world. Kind of like how he followed RNJR from a distance, killing all the Grimm that could get in their way.

We thought he was a broken man before, but this has been escalating. It’s been probably planned out since before.

If you’re not convinced yet, remember:

RWBY loves literature parallels. 

Leo Lionheart changed, and gave in to fear. The Cowardly Lion.

James Ironwood, the Tin Man, has proven that he’s thrown away his heart. 

Qrow Branwen, the Scarecrow, was always fucking destined to lose his mind.

I don’t know what will happen after, what kind of sick tragic death he’ll end up with. Since they’re romanticizing his suffering so much, he’ll probably end up killing himself after his work’s done. 

I have no idea how the details will go, but I’m pretty sure this is the path the writers will take. There is just no other reason I can fathom as to why they keep hurting my man. I want to be wrong, but I can’t think of anything else, unless some deus ex machina shit happens in the finale, but hell if I’m ever trusting CRWBY again. 

And yeah, as a depressed person who relates to and loves Qrow, the idea of the message of “it’s never going to get better” fucking sucks. 

[finmaxfx]

Currency Trading: a Z Guide Detail by Detail for Novices

FOREX WITH FINMAXFX

FinmaxFX offers forex and CFD trading with award winning trading platforms, tight spreads, quality executions and 24 hour live support. Finmax is one of the leaders in the Forex market that unites traders all over the world. Finmaxfx provides its clients a the high-quality service and security, so important in the modern world. We offer multi-functional Metatrader platform, education and a huge variety of trading assets.

Strat with 5 unique Things 1) End up Smart 2) Learn, Know and Learn 3) the Trick 4) Trade sensibly 5) Maintain Carry on - Do Not Stop

On Final Notion This is a fascinating moment to invest in to currency trading for novices! It sounds you are a beginner and trying to find a much improved trading guide and also method not to to shed money again on currency and a guide to exchange in your favourite MT4/MT5 trading platform or anything you're using. If I am right about it and also you're interested to know about foreign basics, then you're a really wise guy who cares in exactly what exactly do matters. Anyways, you are no further talking let us start. Ou will wonder about forex should you not realize it's really a far larger than most of the stockmarket all around the globe. People deals , purchase bucks from this several guys - do transaction a few times occasionally plus they've their financial position better and improved using it. The Item in Actual Beginners Life However, the one truth is 95 percent of novices can not get straight back from their very initial few investment/deposit. It isn't wondering for me personally if you have stunned by looking over this. I could assure you, probably you've lost several bucks and started to search for the manner, the ideal means to commerce here. Well, here we proceed - 5 basics of Currency trading for beginners. I shall inform you everything exactly does thing for noobs just like you. However, if you are really trying to exchange forex and consented to hazard your dollars then continue reading .

1) End up Smart

Do not greed Wise guys hate being covetous. In case you found your self egotistical today, please be aware!! It never much easy! In case it then why your familiarity isn't known/trade here? Thus do not believe that it's too simple and you may catch a major level of cash from this. Many of hazard here, of course if you never contemplate it, then you're gonwont lose your own funding. Count your equilibrium Money counting forex You may earn 20 percent in maximum - whenever you are a normal dealer. The normal percentage is 10 percent of one trade. I-do 8 -- 1-2% based upon the financial industry. I know several guys who left 200 percent from several transactions. Were you aware? Subsequently what goes on - lost 300 percent on a single huge bulge. Regrettably they were covetous, and those guys do not enjoy forex today. Trading is really so much better! Show Patience and Maintain Calm Your Self While Trade Flake out if it's away You've to create yourself serene and eradicate the enthusiasm . A much I will say about you today, you are eager to hear from me personally. You will find quicker methods to catch cash from overseas. Do not despise mepersonally, there are not any means because of it. If a person told some thing similar to this, better eliminate him. It cann't mean that we want a great quantity of time for you and energy to master it. If you should be a quick student it's not going to require an excessive amount of time. But to begin with, you should end up gentle about that. Get ready together with at least three items -; I am not disappointed I affirm that the following move I understand well concerning both the money Marketplace

2) Learn, Know and Learn

Read forex and also learn forex Yes, learning is just really a have to know matters. You are certain to find yourself a couple tips in my next post about learning a facts. You have to have to understand why is candle motions. The way that it goes thaAAA-t high and overly ---------o down. There are various things to effect on Meta Trader's candlesticks/bars are works to it. Since you can imagine, economy/financial facets do matters matters. Do Not Complicate and Be Choosy About Learning I am not permitting you to explore economics at university today. Nevertheless, you have ta understand about a nation market. Inside my sentence - you need to simply take your attention US & EU market. Because maximum business/economical objects processed by those nations. And China is ample too. At some chain - you have ta understand about China, Japan, Russia, Great Britain, along with European states conditions. Notice here I did not mean to the market. You have kindly look into all those significant country's political stability, moves not to mention stockmarket trends. Elect to know that you're trading pair's various countries market and also their currency/bank/economic policy and also their behaviour relating to it. You have to keep your attention updated regarding financial conditions changing your choice made by authorities or needed a arrangement between other significant nations.

3) the Key of Learning

Talking secret a technique Have you any idea the money speed's fluctuations and drop unexpectedly or flew up? The precise reason is cryptic however, the best fact is monetary autocracy. Yeaha bank may choose which speed is that they truly have been trading set to now. The trick isn't shown yet, let us explain some thing before becoming about it. Common Compared to Maybe Not Being Shared Despite the fact that you set a commerce into a trading application, you're going for inch side between two. The majority people get it done too. But when the majority people on precisely exactly the exact identical side, the financial institution decides to produce their benefit. Guess then? They shift it out against majority trending therefore people folks are able to lose their bank and money, able to catch it. Therefore whenever you are at a frequent side in trading then you will shed money. No thing you purchase or sell, in case you should be in ordinary side - you are gont shed it. Whenever you get rid of money, you want to find out, the way to regain your lost money in forex currency trading. That is the component in currency trading that matter most.

4) Does your Trade Wisely

Sensibly do the job Demo Trading is Wonderful You could want some demonstration trading, also it is going to offer you trading period experience. First couple weeks - create experiments after a second and decide to make an effort to learn some thing with an alternative kind of experiments. I could say from potential every corner of this room and produce your own plan. If you triumph on demonstration trading afterward do not experiment too much friend, if you do this too much then probably you are wasting your own time. Have a judgment about Which Happens On Your Trade Keep your significant note I did not indicate it'd function as ultimate strategy, however it might possibly be a measure in your own journey to the sea of forex currency trading. After completing a commerce or perhaps even a couple of transactions - do not neglect to investigate the transaction and also you need to take decent note . However, -- care of one's things in market movements. What exactly was your thinking and everything you did and undoubtedly the thing that is the outcome? Create Efficient Chart Forex efficient graph Ordinarily, a Trading Software initially provides choices to personalize and also a better comprehension of the marketplace. Also many of plugins and tools available to spell out and make own strategy on your own. Opt for the efficient one for you personally and browse on their manual, documentation touse precisely all available functionality. In other hand - different sort of colours, shapesand elements will allow our brain an easy capturing capability therefore that it may help while we're actually gambling. Stop Loss and Take Profit Stop loss simply take benefit As I already told, becoming greedy is overly bad. Now I will create yet another warning relating to trading. You ought to make use of stop-loss whilst setting a brand fresh commerce. In the event you utilize SL also it induces your equity losing do not stress - that the theory simply did not do the job with your own moment. Later you may win if you've got sufficient experience. Do not Trade Real In case you are a Beginner Yeah, do not trade real with out a fantastic trading experience as effectively rather than realizing marketplace facts. Put simply Forex Fundamental Analysis - without even having capability with all the investigation you shouldn't exchange a demonstration trading.

5) Maintain Carry on - Do Not Stop

Keep carry on runDo Not Become a LoserOh, ho! Your theory did not get the job done? Can it happen ? Oh! That is a truly terrible thing. In cases like this, what you are gont do? I'll imply, do not stop to a neglect. The prover" collapse may be that the pillar of victory" isn't that unworthy. It is worth needless to say - in the event that you know as it's does. Are you aware what the key is? Have a Rest.Yeah, it is going to create your self serene so when a brand fresh beginning, your memory will soon likely probably be trendy. It may continue to work based on the purchase.Stepbystep Trading requires one to begin with out of principles. Can you really do it ? Otherwise don't waste your own time and effort in certain progress things. End your fundamental knowing then launch it . Make a streak of sequence before putting your transactions.Experiment frequently along with your own plan and remember on your excitements. In the event that you are doing it regularly you will end up a proficient dealer, since you realize - clinic makes you what.You will combine with some great forex forums to examine your trouble.As previously stated three things within a commerce -- in the event the thought did not do the job only compose the neglect note and attempt to explain the reason why?The devil is banks plus also you also ought to earn a separate practice in this circumstance.Learn How to Take Threats Obviously, you wont exchange demos for that very existence. After a excellent successful experimentation -- you may possibly want commerce real. In the event you opt therefore -- then you are going for a danger. You ought to be conscious you are losing money, and also losing risk is really for profiting. Is not? Without risk, there isn't any enterprise. Thus, be prepared to just get a probability.On Final Notion Do not allow the enemy provide up you. Some times - it might explain to you that chances are against you in the event you should be about the phase subsequently have a rest but perhaps maybe not for quite a while. Get straight back with an awesome mind and commence to explore why this happens, as said - take notes and put in on your own plan or produce a fresh one. Simply do not give this up, that really is greatly crucial.I inquired prior to a transaction is knowledge. Atleast fundamental knowledge is required for trading. Thus, those are the 5 must-do Know things special guide for Forex beginners. Hope that it helped you a small bit. In case it can help then why don't share it with the others and allow them to understand it? Share utilizing bellow share tools someone got some fantastic help! Love!!

[doomedandstoned]

Small Changes Can Lead to Big Growth for Your Band

~Bacon's Blog~

Photographs by Rita Fevraleva

☿

What’s 5 times 5 times 5?   125.   Easy right? Cool, so what’s 6 times 6 times 6?   216.   Did you notice how each number only increased by 1 (or 20%), but the number it multiplied out to was 57% larger? I know you aren't here for a remedial math lesson, but hang tight! This all ties into something very interesting related to the music business.

In this week's article, I want to focus on three key ways to grow your band, then show you how minor growth in any of these three categories can lead to massive growth in the end. I know this sounds a little "pie in the sky" right now, but I promise I'm going to bring it back down to the nitty gritty in a minute, so stay with me. Prepare to discover how DIY bands can make a living off their music through incremental growth...it’s a doozy!

Let's get right into it then, shall we? The three ways you can increase your band's income are fairly simple: you can increase (1) the number of fans who spend money on your music (not just stream it), (2) the amount of money your fans spend, and (3) the number of times your engaged fans come back to spend more. Sounds simple enough, right?

When you sort all of your band's activities into these three buckets, suddenly everything becomes a lot easier to process. I think I’m safe in assuming we can all help our bands at least a little bit in each of these categories. So now that you understand the basis of my argument, I want to get into how we're going to use this insight to help your band grow almost exponentially within a remarkably short timeframe. And yes, before you ask, I cribbed this from legendary marketer Jay Abraham -- the man knows what’s up.

Say you have 100 fans who spend about 20 bucks on merch every time you play their town and you play there twice a year. Your formula for growth would be: 100 (number of fans) x 20 (average spent on merch) x 2 (number of shows played) and your total income would equal $4000. Not bad, right? This is where it gets interesting. What if you figure out how to advance each of these numbers by 10%? If you do that, suddenly your $4000 turns into $5234, more than 30% growth!

The best part is that moving each of these numbers individually isn’t actually that hard. In fact, a few minor tweaks will turn this game of inches into one where suddenly you're gaining feet and yards on your competition. It’s not a question of blowing them away; it’s a question of being just a little bit better. Breaking each category down into its component parts takes you a step closer to figuring out how to optimize it.

I want to take a minute to clarify some details surrounding the three ways of growing your band's finances. The number of fans is obviously a fairly easy one to process, you simply grow one fan at a time. Growing the amount spent at the merch table can also be pretty easy to size up. As with fans, you grow this by one dollar per transaction.

Think about what would happen if you had 10% growth in merch sales alongside the other growth we outlined. You don’t need to worry about selling one in ten people another shirt to boost your average (although that would be cool). Instead, try to raise each sale by 10% by pushing a small, cool upsell-- maybe a bunch of stickers, a koozie, or a patch. It don't need to be highfalutin.

Similarly, you can increase the amount of times your average fan buys from you -- not solely by playing their city more often, but by expanding the channels your products are available on (online or otherwise). It’s going to propel you in an actionable way to get you that extra little 10%.

Okay, now I’m going to ask you to do an exercise that really helped me and my own business when I did it. Of course, I’m adapting it to your world as a band, but believe me, the principles remain reliably the same. Ready? I want you to grab pen and paper right now and jot down all the things your band does. Everything. This might include recording, gigs, social media, merch, and so on.

Next, start breaking these things down into as many component parts as possible. For a typical show, this might include such aspects as loading in, soundchecking, setting up merch, talking to fans before the show, performing, tearing down, talking to fans after the show and, of course, selling merch.

Once you've fleshed out your list, I want you to set a timer for a half-hour and see how many ideas you can come up with to help make all of these band-related processes more efficient, more profitable, and more engaging to fans. I think you’ll be surprised at the results in the just the brief period of time you dedicate to this brainstorming activity.

I know this article was pretty dense and it might take a few go-throughs to get everything I’ve tried to explain (I might follow this with another article or two, further expounding on these thoughts). There’s a lot to go over with stuff like this and I'm not nearly articulate enough to claim the ability to perfectly communicate it. It’s an interesting set of twists and turns, though. Just think about the numbers and apply them to your own band's reality. Trust me, I know the exercise I suggested sounds kind of corny, but guess what? It actually works on a level that freaked me out a little. Whaddya got to lose?

Matt Bacon (IG: mattbacon666) is a consultant, A&R man, and journalist specializing in the world of heavy metal. Matt also co-hosts the Dumb & Dumbest podcast with Curtis Dewar of Dewar PR.

[techahead]

How TinyML can transform IoT applications across industries

How TinyML can transform IoT applications across industries

Imagine a scenario where you can increase the speed of your IoT solutions without burning a hole in your customer’s pocket.

The one question buzzing through your brain is this – how.

Well, by using devices that embed TinyML.

But what exactly is TinyML?

If you don’t know what TinyML is, or how TinyML can transform your IoT applications, here is the complete lowdown for your benefit.

Tiny machine learning (TinyML) is an emerging discipline that aims to miniaturize machine learning algorithms to a size where it can be embedded in IoT devices. They are also referred to as edge AI or embedded AI because they provide AI capabilities to the embedded devices.

Doesn’t the concept sound oxymoronic?

Because the principle behind IoT devices is to keep them small and energy-efficient.

Whereas machine learning algorithms have been growing exponentially in size and complexity due to the increase in computational power of graphical processor units, availability of high volumes of data via the Internet and the advent of big data.

And then again, edge computing is already making IoT faster. So, do we really need TinyML? Because every new technology brings with it some overheads as well.

Good point, so let’s dive straight in.

Why do we need TinyML?

But before that, we need to ask, why do we need machine learning embedded into IoT devices? The IoT ecosystem seems to be working fine as of now.

Well, not exactly.

It has a few problems of its own, which need to be resolved before the world can become a connected place in the true sense.

Let’s look at what those IoT problems are.

Privacy and security of data

As you know, the primary function of IoT devices is to collect relevant data. The data collected is sent to servers located in the cloud for further processing, as per business requirements. But the moment data is to be transmitted over a network, it opens the proverbial can of worms in the form of privacy and security issues. The hacking of data while in transmission or on the cloud can compromise users as well as the service providers. According to IBM Cost of Data Breach report 2020, the average cost of a data breach is pegged at USD 3.86 million. The US is the most expensive with USD 8.64 million, and for India, the figure is USD 1.9 million.

What if the devices did not need to send data over the network but process them themselves?

Carbon footprints

The humongous size of machine learning algorithms needs a huge amount of energy for training purposes. The GPT-3 algorithm released in May 2020 boats of a network architecture containing a staggering 175 billion neurons, which is more than double the number present in the human brain. This model costs around 10 million dollars to train and uses approximately 3 GWh of electricity.

In 2019, a group of researchers at the University of Massachusetts estimated that training a single deep learning model can generate up to 626,155 pounds of CO2 emissions, approximately the same as the carbon footprint of five cars over their lifetime.

Shouldn’t scientists and businesses be looking for ways to reduce this carbon footprint?

A big yes, if they want sustainable models of technological growth.

Latency

Do you know what is the very first thing that happens when you say “Hey Alexa?”

The device checks for an Internet connection.

No, I am not joking.

When a user gives an instruction to an IoT device, that instruction is transmitted to the server. The serve executes the instructions and sends information back to the device. For instance, if you say "Hey Alexa, play some music," the instruction is sent to the server and then the music is played, which you can hear from your speakers.

The time lag between an IoT device sending data and then receiving data in response to it is called latency. If the network is slow, the device has a high latency.

And that is undesirable.

After all, the concept of IoT is to provide user engagement at speed.

How TinyML can help improve IoT applications?

The latest technological advancements in the field of Artificial Intelligence present TinyML as the bridge between edge computing and smart devices, promising to make it even faster. As the time taken to do stuff decreases, the energy, time, and other resources would automatically decrease.

And there is more to it than meets the eye. TinyML can help reduce financial, environmental and security burdens associated with ML.

Let us explore in detail.

More energy efficient

Development in machine learning has been associated with more complex networks, larger neural networks, and faster processing speeds, all of which are responsible for increasing the carbon footprint of AI technologies. Of late, the focus among a group of scientists and researchers has moved to decrease the carbon footprint of machine learning without compromising on accuracy or reliability. This can be done by modifying the whole stack of machine learning algorithms – from hardware to software.

If not years, at least months of research goes into the hardware changes, which is time-consuming.

But designing innovative software is quicker.

And this is where TinyML steps in – shrinking ML algorithms to decrease the carbon footprint.

This shrinking can happen without compromising on the algorithm’s reliability as we will see later when we discuss how TinyML works.

Reduced latency

As you already know, latency is the time lag between an IoT device sending and receiving data. If the device has its own processing power, it will not need to send every instruction to the cloud for further processing and execution. As the dependence of the device on network speed for functioning reduces the overall latency decreases as well.

We all know customers always want more of good stuff.

And who are we to deny them if technology makes it possible.

Improved data privacy and security

Data is at its most vulnerable when it is traveling on a network. Imparting processing and analysis power to IoT devices through TinyML decreases this to and fro between the IoT device and cloud applications. This reduces data vulnerability automatically.

It is much easier and cheaper to secure an IoT device than the whole network. This helps improve data privacy and security issues.

Collect only required data

Data Analytics projects tend to generate a humongous amount of data, most of which are redundant. Intelligent IoT devices can be programmed to collect data only when the triggering event happens.

Take the example of a CCTV camera installed outside the gates of an 11-storey building.

If the device keeps collecting footage 24 hours a day, can you imagine the amount of storage space required on the server? Even if the footage is automatically deleted after a week or so.

It would be a better idea to record footage only when a triggering event is detected.

So, how does the system work?

An object recognition system is installed with the video camera, which is in always-on mode. The moment an object is detected, the CCTV camera starts recording.

Makes more sense, right? Because the amount of data generated will be reduced drastically, decreasing the resources required to store and process it.

Ready to see get an overview of how TinyML works?

How TinyML works?

As you already know, training the machine learning model is critical to its success. There can be no compromise at this stage. After the training phase is over, ML is converted to TinyML in these four steps:

Compression or distillation – After the model has been trained, it can be compressed in a way that its accuracy is not altered. The two most popular techniques used for post-training compression include pruning and knowledge distillation.

Quantization – The compressed model is quantized to make it compatible with the architecture of the device in which it is embedded example lost desktops and laptops in a 32-bit or 64-bit presentations for mathematical calculations. On the other hand, most of the microcontrollers used for TinyML use 8-bit arithmetic for performance optimization. Quantization takes care of this discrepancy between the chip and the embedded device.

Encoding – This is an optional step because it does nothing but compresses the model further using Huffman encoding principles.

Compilation – Finally the model is compiled into a format that can be interpreted and executed by neural network interpreters like TF Lite and TF Lite Micro. It is finally compiled into C or C++, the languages used by most of the microcontrollers for efficient memory usage.

Pruning removes those nodes in the algorithm that have minimal to no utility for providing output with accuracy and reliability. Usually, neurons with lower weights are removed. The network then needs to be retrained on the pruned architecture before deployment.

In the knowledge distillation technique, information in the large model that has been trained is transferred to a smaller network model with fewer parameters. This automatically compresses the knowledge representation and hence the size so that it can be used on devices with lesser memory.

But not everything is idyllic when it comes to putting theory into practice.

There are challenges in implementation that researchers are working day and night to overcome.

Challenges in integration Tiny ML with IoT

A major challenge in integrating TinyML with IoT can be attributed to the engineering and technological barriers to developing microcontrollers – the hardware where TinyML resides.

Microcontrollers must meet these two criteria

Large enough to run the operating system with its libraries, neural network interpreters, neural weights and architecture, and store intermediate results during processing.

Small enough to consume energy in the range of mWs so that the embedded device can run using coin batteries.

The good news is that these challenges do not stop TinyML from used in IoT applications.

Because these are endeavors to improve further; TinyML can be and is being used effectively in its current avatar.

TinyML use cases

30 billion microcontroller units were shipped in 2019. The boost in the microcontroller industry has been attributed to the growing demand for TinyML for IoT devices. TinyML is revolutionizing multiple industries from retail and manufacturing to healthcare and fitness.

Manufacturing – TinyML can be used to monitor equipment in real-time and send out alerts when preventive maintenance is necessary. This would help reduce downtime owing to equipment failure.

Retail – Inventory management is the single-largest pain point in Retail Industry. TinyML can be used to monitor shelves in stores, update stock levels automatically, and send alerts as soon as item quantities reach pre-defined levels. Thus, TinyML can be effective in preventing out of stock situations.

Mobility — TinyML sensors installed on strategic traffic locations can help route traffic effectively, reducing congestion, improving emergency response times and decreasing pollution. They can also be used to improve passenger safety.

Agriculture — TinyML can be in embedded in livestock wearables to monitor vital parameters like heart rate, temperature body temperature normal blood pressure, coma etc., which can help in predicting illnesses.

Healthcare — TinyML can be used to monitor critical as well as palliative care patients in real-time, sending out alerts when emergency action is required.

Summary

Tiny machine learning or TinyML is a miniaturized version of machine learning algorithms that can be embedded in IoT devices. The TinyML algorithms are capable of performing the same actions as compared to a typical machine learning algorithm but at a smaller size and complexity. A typical IoT ecosystem has three main problems – privacy and security of data, humongous carbon footprints, and device latency.

We, an IoT app development company with the help of TinyML, can help improve IoT applications by making them energy efficient, reducing latency, collecting only required data, and improving data privacy and security. TinyML equips the embedded device with processing power so the data need not travel to and from the cloud for its functioning. This reduces device latency as well as vulnerability to data hacking while traveling on the network.

The machine learning algorithm is converted to TinyML in these steps – compression or distillation, quantization, encoding (optional), and compilation. At the end of the process, the TinyML model is powerful enough to run the operating system, neural network interpreters, and store neural weights and intermediate results during processing. However, it is so small that it consumes energy in the range of mWs. TinyML is revolutionizing multiple industries from retail and manufacturing to healthcare and fitness.

https://www.techaheadcorp.com/blog/tinyml-transform-iot-applications/

[theesoopap]

To Be an Angel Investor Is Easier Than You Think

To Be an Angel Investor Is Easier Than You Think

The good news is that you don’t need to be a millionaire to become a business angel, but there are a lot to learn.

Here is what you should learn.

1. You must not  start Big

It can be tempting to throw money at every pitch deck that you receive. There are tons of Start-ups looking for funding every day, in every sector and country on the planet. While everybody talks about the insane multiples achieved by early investors in unicorns like Uber (>2500x), nobody talks about the failures. There is a very high probability that 9 companies out of 10 in your portfolio will eventually fail or barely break-even.

Hence, I strongly advise you to take a very careful approach by first investing relatively small amounts ($6000). This will allow you to invest in different companies and climb up the (steep) learning curve of angel investing.

It is important to understand that anything below $6000 might prevent you from entering most rounds. Crowded cap tables with lots of small shareholders can be difficult to manage for founders. VCs are also not very fond of this.

Don’t forget that there is a very high chance that you will never see the money you invested in these startups again. You have to be able to stomach this.

Be patient, and once you feel comfortable, increase your ticket size. Don’t FOMO, tech is not going away, so there will be plenty of opportunities around once you feel ready. I started too big too early, and have now significantly reduced my ticket size.

2. Count on your peculiarity

A very experienced business angel who lived through the dotcom boom and successfully sold his startup told me one of the most important pieces of advice.

Before you start deciding on the themes you want to invest in, know what you don’t want to touch.

This is key because it will give you more headroom to focus on where you are good at. I decided to exclude social and mobile games because I never really understood the dynamics that were driving these markets. I now feel comfortable passing on these investment opportunities.

On the other hand, you also need to specialize to develop an edge. Use your own experience for that. I worked in Mobility for 4 years, so I had spent a lot of time experiencing first hand what works and what doesn't. Use this proprietary knowledge and leverage it, it will allow you to eventually score your biggest wins.

3. Make your vision and work on it.

Since there is an endless stream of companies looking for funding, I felt overwhelmed at first. How was I suppose to make decisions with this amount of decks to review? Would I eventually FOMO? It quickly became apparent to me that I needed to put a rating system in place to filter out the most promising ones. Most top VCs invest in <1% of the pitch decks they see, and “no” is their standard answer. I decided to apply the same rigor to my approach and build a model.

I used the factors listed as decisive by Peter Thiel in his classic Zero to One and added my touch to it. Companies are rated from 0 to 5 on every factor, and those with a score below 70 are automatically eliminated. I review those with a score above in detail and if they are promising, I meet with the founders.

A simple yet efficient way to filter deals.

It also allows me to keep track of all my decisions and get back to them later. In a few years, I might find out that I passed on a Unicorn. But at least, I’ll know why, and I’ll be able to adapt my ratings if necessary. Then I’ll go crying.

4. Do the unthinkable

You might be perceived as a small fish in a big pond with $6000 tickets and little experience in angel investing, but this doesn’t mean you won’t be able to access good deals. You need to differentiate yourself by offering something most big business angels don’t have: time. If you are a product manager, offer the startup to help them on their roadmap. If you have expertise in growth, assist them in building out their acquisition channels.

Compensate the fact that you will not invest a high $ amount by adding value to the business and by being hands-on, for free. You would be surprised how often this will get you through the door. This will not only be very appreciated by founders but it also allows you to hedge your bets by being active.

Be good, be helpful, and open your network.

Make sure to take important aspects into account: raising funds is time-consuming. It often prevents founders from focusing on their core tasks, i.e. growing their company. Be a good BA and say yes or no quickly, ideally not more than 2 days after you talked to them. Your reputation matters.

5.  Streamline your Deals

To invest in the best startups, you have to have access to the best opportunities. While there is an endless flow of pitch decks flying your way, many of them aren’t very interesting. Getting access to the best startups without being a renowned business angel (i.e. mostly successful founders) can be tough. So, as Paul Graham said: do things that don’t scale.

·         Screen companies: Subscribe to newsletters in the sectors that interest you the most. Follow the founders of companies that inspire you on Twitter. Set Google alerts on funding. Install the Kima plugin to see their latest deals.

·         Cold email Founders: Once you found a promising company, email their founders and give them feedback on their product, be useful. Once they start raising funds, they will remember you.

·         Leverage your Network: Ask people around you if they recently tested cool new products. You will be surprised to see how many good leads you will get.

·         Build your brand as a Business Angel: Write about it (yes, this medium post falls in this category), Tweet about it, talk about it. Make sure people are aware that you are active. Start generating inbound leads.

·         Try Crowdfunding: Did you know that Revolut or Monzo, which are now worth Unicorns, went through multiple rounds of Crowdfunding? The biggest platforms in Europe are Crowdcube or Seedrs. These platforms are great to get dealflow, but be extra careful when reviewing pitch decks, the overall quality tends to be low these days.

·         Join a syndicate or a Business Angel Club: Let others do the heavy lifting for you. Bear in mind that some of these clubs/syndicates charge annual fees or require a minimum amount invested.

6. Adaptability is Vital

If you spent a bit of time thinking about your overall investment strategy, you might have heard about Markowitz’s modern portfolio theory. One of its key findings is that diversification reduces risk while allowing you to secure the optimal return. In other words, you don’t put your eggs into one basket. The same applies to startup investments.

Credits: Simeon Simeonov

This chart tells one thing: the more companies you own in your portfolio, the more likely you are to generate a profit. With only 5 companies in your portfolio, you only have only a 50% chance of making your money back. Many angel investors consider 15 to 30 holdings as the sweet spot. On the other hand, having a concentrated portfolio could become hugely profitable if you have a winner in it. But it’s more of a gamble.

Aim for a number of holdings that match your resources. If you want to invest $30000 per year, and your ticket size $6000, you should end up with 15 holdings.

This leads me to another brilliant insight I learned from a veteran investor: startup investments are like wine vintages. Some years are exceptional, and even startups that you weren’t so sure about end up becoming a success. And other years are complete disasters, and all startups go bust. To avoid this, invest in at least 3 different vintages!

My gut feeling tells me that startups raising in 2020, amid a global pandemic, will have a very higher chance of succeeding! Valuations are becoming more reasonable, startups focus on profitability and are frugal when it comes to spending. Now is the time to be aggressive and scout for the best deals.

7. Master your principles

Funding rounds are complex. There is a lot of legal paperwork involved, the terms can be difficult to understand and it’s full of idiosyncratic jargon. Make sure you understand what you are getting yourself into before committing a single €.

Educate yourself about term sheets, valuations, share types, liquidity preferences, etc. There are many great resources out there:

·         Ultimate Start-up Funding Guide by Crunchbase

·         YC guide about raising a Series A

·         Term Sheet by the Galion Project (French)

You might also want to ask a lawyer about the tax implication your investments can have. Be prepared.

8. Double down on the champion

Investing in early-stage startups is a risky business, and there are high chances that most of your companies will go bust or barely break even. However, if you have the chance to own shares in a company that proves to be a success, double down on them by investing in subsequent rounds. This increases the size of this holding in your portfolio and will mechanically reduce the overall risk of your portfolio.

This approach is called “follow-on” and is actively used by VCs. Wondering why? Let’s listen to what Marc Andreesen said, founder of Netscape and one of the most successful VC firms, a16z:

The key characteristic of venture capital is that returns are a power-law distribution. So, the basic math component is that there are about 4,000 startups a year that are founded in the technology industry which would like to raise venture capital and we can invest in about 20.” “We see about 3,000 inbound referred opportunities per year we narrow that down to a couple hundred that are taken particularly seriously… There are about 200 of these startups a year that are fundable by top VCs. … about 15 of those will generate 95% of all the economic returns … even the top VCs write off half their deals.

In other words, these winners will pay for all the failures in your portfolio, and they’ll generate a profit on top. If you don’t take advantage of the power-law and aren’t ready to double down on your outliers, you’ll miss out on most of the opportunities.

To avoid dilution and protect your line, you need to double down. This means that most of your capital will eventually flow into these follow-on investments. Make sure to have a buffer to react quickly.

Wrapping up

Even though everybody thinks they have an edge on other investors, they probably don’t. Unfortunately, both you and I will likely lose 9 out of 10 bets. If the remaining one is the next Zoom, then we will be doing great. Otherwise, we might end up losing money. Some VCs believe most angel investors will end up with a negative IRR on their portfolio. The good news is that most VCs do as well.

Although I’d rather avoid ending up in this situation, I would not regret the investments I made because they allowed me to learn invaluable lessons. If I became a better investor, it’s by actually putting my money where my mouth is. Nothing replaces learning by doing.

However, angel investing should NOT be the backbone of your overall financial strategy. Allocate only a small portion of your net asset (5 to 10%) to these bets, and put the rest of your money in less risky assets like equity and bonds. Best of Luck!

[irregularwebcomic]

[Irregular Webcomic! #4292](https://ift.tt/2Z3M2mz)

A felucca is the traditional wooden sailing boat used along the Nile River as well as in nearby areas in the eastern Mediterranean Sea and Red Sea. Feluccas use a distinctive triangular lateen rigged sail (also sometimes used by the dhows of the Indian Ocean). After coming up with the idea for this comic, I had to[1] check that it is in fact feasible to sail from Al Balyana to Alexandria in under six days. It simply wouldn't do to make this joke and then have someone point out that it's impossible to sail to Alexandria faster than just waiting for the next train. Firstly, how far is it from Al Balyana to Alexandria? Unfortunately, Google Maps doesn't give travel times or distances for travel by river, but it does offer this driving route, which comes to a distance of 749 km. (As well as this walking route, which clocks in at a relatively leisurely 691 km.) The road route doesn't follow the river, but has some deviations which to my eye very roughly match the meanderings of the Nile, so let's assume a rough distance of 750 km from Al Balyana to Alexandria by river. Secondly, how fast does a felucca typically sail? Good question! Unfortunately I couldn't find any completely straightforward answers to this online. The most informative was this reddit thread, asking essentially the same question (albeit with an amusing typo), but failing to give a definitive answer. One important reference that came up is the hull speed of a water vessel. This is a speed defined as being that at which the length of the vessel's bow wave is equal to the length of the vessel's waterline (the length of the vessel measured at the horizontal line defined by the surface of still water as the vessel floats). The bow wave of a boat is generated by the prow of the vessel pushing through the water, and because it is forced by the boat it necessarily has a wave speed equal to the speed of the boat. Fluid dynamics tells us that the wavelength of a water surface wave is proportional to the square of its velocity:

wavelength = K × (velocity)2

So:

bow wave velocity = √(wavelength / K)

Setting the wavelength equal to the vessel's waterline length gives:

hull speed (by definition) = bow wave velocity (when wavelength = waterline length) = √(waterline length / K)

hull speed = k √(waterline length)

where k = 1/√K is just another constant. This constant k is typically given as 1.34 when the waterline is measured in feet and the vessel speed in knots. This corresponds to 1.25 if the waterline length is in metres and the speed in metres per second. Now, all we've done so far is define what the hull speed of a water vessel is. The actual speed of a boat also depends critically on how much power is being applied to propel it forwards, whether that be by means of an engine, a sail, or rowing (or indeed quanting, or being towed by draft animals). Simply put, the more power, the faster the vessel goes. Where the hull speed comes in is in figuring out how much resistance to motion the water offers. At low speeds, when the bow wave length is very short compared to the vessel's waterline length, the water resistance is fairly constant. To figure out the relationship between motive power and water vessel speed, I tried a quick Google search, but didn't turn up an explicit equation, so I turned to one of the best resources available for calculating this sort of thing. Yes, you guessed it: GURPS Vehicles.[2] Page 131 of this roleplaying game sourcebook has this formula:

top water speed = 6 × ∛[(aquatic motive thrust) / (hydrodynamic drag)] miles per hour

where

hydrodynamic drag = ∛(loaded weight - contragravity lift)2 / (hydrodynamic lines)

where (hydrodynamic lines) is a constant ranging from 1 for unstreamlined (e.g. a log) to 10 for average boat lines to 20 for very fine streamlining, plus 10% for a trimaran or 20% for a catamaran.[3] So, I'm willing to believe that—essentially—the top speed of a surface water vessel is proportional to the cube root of the thrust. But I still wanted to check if such a relationship can be found elsewhere. The best I could find was this (public domain) graph of power versus speed for a displacement hull from Wikipedia's page on Wave-making resistance: A quick and dirty measurement of points on the curve, plugged into a spreadsheet, then taking logarithms and plotting to find the slope, gives a value of around 2.7-2.9 for the power law exponent. This is of course a bit rough, but is within spitting distance of a cubic relationship, which gives me more confidence that GURPS Vehicles is correct to at least a first order approximation. Good. Now, the hull speed comes about as a concept because when the boat is going fast enough to create a bow wave whose wavelength begins to approach the length of the waterline, you start to get some additional drag effects. Importantly, if the bow wave wavelength grows to 2/3 the waterline length, then the bow is sitting on the crest of the bow wave, while the stern of the boat is 1.5 wavelengths behind, in the next following trough. This adds turbulence because the stern of the boat also produces a wave system, and being in the bow wave trough causes constructive interference, increasing the energy lost into the water. If the boat powers through this up to the hull speed, the bow wave wavelength now equals the waterline length, and the bw and stern both sit on a wave crest. This is actually the least efficient mode for propelling a simple displacement hull (as opposed to a hydrofoil), and the amount of power required to go any now faster climbs steeply. But if you simply apply MOAR POWER, you can continue to make your boat go faster. Eventually the bow wave wavelength approaches 1.5 times the waterline length. Now the bow is sitting on the bow wave crest, while the stern is sitting down in the immediately following trough, which means that your boat is now essentially moving uphill along the water surface. As you might imagine, this makes it even more difficult to propel the boat, compared to along a nice flat water surface. MOAR POWER!!! will break you through this regime, into the zone where the bow wave wavelength is significantly greater than the vessel's waterline length. Now the boat is what is known as planing across the water, and in this zone efficiency increases again. This (public domain) image from the US Naval Academy Engineering 400 Class, Chapter 7. RESISTANCE AND POWERING OF SHIPS (P. 7-17), as available in Wikimedia Commons, illustrates the principle: So, in short, the hull speed is not a maximum theoretical speed for a boat, but rather a speed around which it becomes very inefficient in terms of its power to speed ratio. Well above the hull speed, that efficiency returns. But for a standard displacement hulled sailing vessel, gaining enough power to break through the hull speed regime is always going to be difficult at best. Modern racing yachts and sailing dinghies can be designed to facilitate planing, but traditional sail-powered vessels such as feluccas are essentially limited to their hull speed as a maximum speed. So what is the hull speed of a felucca? This first hand account says Nile feluccas range from about 15 to 30 feet in length. That gives them a hull speed of from 5.2 to 7.3 knots, or 9.6 to 13.5 km/h. If we assume that the winds are good and our felucca can make top speed, that gives us a total sailing time of 55-78 hours to cover the distance from Al Balyana to Alexandria, depending on the length of the felucca. So if we sail 10-13 hours a day, you can indeed make the trip in 6 days! If the owner only pulls to shore to sleep for 8 hours and sails for a full 16 each day, you can make the distance in 6 days at the relatively leisurely speed of just 7.8 km/h (or 4.2 knots), which should be doable. Moreover, these are the theoretical speeds of a felucca relative to the water. The Nile flows downstream, from Al Balyana towards Alexandria. Even just holding onto a log, you would drift downstream and travel all the way eventually. So you can also add the speed of the water flow to the speed of the boat relative to the land. So a bit more research is required for our full answer. Again, I didn't find any really good references for how fast the Nile flows. But I did find some stuff mentioning that the speed of rivers is highly variable, of course, depending on the terrain they are flowing over. But a reasonable speed for a large river is somewhere from 0-3 m/s, which adds anywhere from 0 to 10.8 km/h to our felucca speed. If we say the average speed over the length of the Nile between Al Balyana and Alexandria is 5 km/h, this makes our felucca speed anything up to 18.5 km/h, which can cover the distance in just 40.5 hours.[4] I really don't think a felucca would average a speed that high in practice, but even our previous high estimate of 78 hours sailing time makes it not unreasonable for our felucca owner here to state that he can get the Joneses to Alexandria in 5, maybe 6, days. And so, the joke in this comic is valid. [1] For some definition of "had to". [2] For those not in the know, GURPS is a roleplaying game system, in the next tier of popularity down from the one occupied solely by the genre-defining behemoth that is Dungeons & Dragons. In contrast to the relatively high level of abstraction in Dungeons & Dragons, GURPS is known for being much more simulationist and realistic. Its sourcebooks are often cited for the depth and accuracy of their real world research, backed up by extensive bibliographies.[2a] GURPS Vehicles is without a doubt the pinnacle of this approach to gaming. It includes very detailed rules for designing almost any sort of vehicle you can imagine, from dugout canoe to faster-than-light spaceship, and then deriving all of the important statistics of the finished vehicle from the previous construction steps.[2b] It is uncannily accurate. You can design a horse-drawn cart, a steam locomotive, a modern motor car, a helicopter, or a space shuttle using the known real world parameters for vehicle mass, engine power, and so on, and the included formulae within GURPS Vehicles will tell you the maximum speed, acceleration, cost, fuel consumption, etc, etc, of the vehicle, accurate to within maybe 10% of the real world values. [2a] Also, I wrote a couple of them. And if you buy the PDFs I get royalties. [2b] Obviously the performance of a faster-than-light engine has to be somewhat fictionalised. But you get the point. [3] Yes, those formulae have cube roots in them. And you thought Dungeons & Dragons players were nerds. [4] In fact, just drifting with your log 24 hours a day, you could make it to Alexandria in 6 and a quarter days, which is almost as fast as walking. In fact, in fact, the Joneses could have beaten the next train to Alexandria by walking.

[newstfionline]

Dear cable news: Knock it off with the dramatic language

By Charles N. Davis, Columbia Journalism Review, December 20, 2017

Fox News Host Jesse Watters recently provided a textbook lesson in the perils of mixing opinion, innuendo, and newsgathering. He began his newscast on Saturday night with a verified piece of news (a veteran FBI agent was fired by Mueller after an investigation revealed that he had sent messages critical of Trump and supportive of Hillary Clinton), then he worked it rhetorically for maximum political gain, using a bland out-word (“may”) to cloud the details even more.

“We may now have proof the investigation was weaponized to destroy [Trump’s] presidency for partisan political purposes and to disenfranchise millions of American voters,” Watters said on his Saturday show, concluding, “Now if that is true, we have a coup on our hands in America.”

Moments later, Watters interviewed White House adviser Kellyanne Conway, above a chyron that read, “A coup in America?”

A coup. Breathtakingly irresponsible. Dangerous, even.

We have no proof that an investigation has been “weaponized”--and not a scintilla of evidence that the Mueller investigation is plotting to disenfranchise voters. But that sort of overheated language is a staple of cable news these days.

How did we reach the point where what should be journalism is, instead, a woefully predictable formula?

And it’s not a partisan problem, either. MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough, hours later, led Morning with this nugget: “When you’re spreading a message that the Federal Bureau of Investigation and that a Vietnam War hero … [is] launching a coup against the president of the United States, that will … attach to somebody like Timothy McVeigh, and they will take action, and yes, we will know who put those diseased thoughts in their heads.”

This is a shameless, extreme response--claiming that using the term “coup,” however unsuited to anything actually occurring in the United States, will necessarily resurrect Timothy McVeigh.

How did we get here? How did we reach the point where what should be journalism is, instead, a woefully predictable formula that misleads or excites viewers, the public enlightenment be damned?

The simple answer: money.

The slugfest of cable news makes for cheap, endlessly repeatable content. Put two or more people on set and have them yell at one another for a bit, and you feed the 24/7 beast in a cost-efficient way. Real news costs money, demands effort, and requires that newsgatherers distance themselves from faction.

Bill Kovach and Tom Rosenstiel, in the timeless work The Elements of Journalism, make the case clearly. If journalism’s first obligation is to truth, and its first loyalty is to citizens, then to fulfill its mission journalism must operate with the goal of verification above all else. Being neutral is not a core principle of journalism, whose practitioners cannot possibly be objective. But their methods should be.

And here we arrive at how a cable news channel could so recklessly throw around a word like “coup” to describe a legal investigation. A cornerstone of journalism is independence from those we cover. But cable news, the staple of so many Americans’ news diets, seldom practices journalism anymore, having sacrificed any semblance of distance from faction in favor of bread and circuses.

Yes, Fox and MSNBC and CNN, all have journalists doing journalism. Yet each one employs shills who spew unverified garbage and do the bidding of political masters. It’s too much to ask of the viewing public to parse it all, to decide what the news is amid innuendo and opinion. Today, the most significant cable-news deliverable is confusion, which disserves the public and violates the profession’s mission.

That’s too high a price to pay, no matter how cheap or endless the content.

[lazaroschamberger20]

Antifragile: Things That Gain from Disorder Audiobook Online

[Book] Antifragile: Things That Gain from Disorder Audiobook Online by Nassim Nicholas Taleb

Antifragile is a standalone book in Nassim Nicholas Taleb’s landmark Incerto series, an investigation of opacity, luck, uncertainty, probability, human error, risk, and decision-making in a world we don’t understand. The other books in the series are Fooled by Randomness, The Black Swan, and The Bed of Procrustes.

Nassim Nicholas Taleb, the bestselling author of The Black Swan and one of the foremost thinkers of our time, reveals how to thrive in an uncertain world.   Just as human bones get stronger when subjected to stress and tension, and rumors or riots intensify when someone tries to repress them, many things in life benefit from stress, disorder, volatility, and turmoil. What Taleb has identified and calls “antifragile” is that category of things that not only gain from chaos but need it in order to survive and flourish.    In The Black Swan, Taleb showed us that highly improbable and unpredictable events underlie almost everything about our world. In Antifragile, Taleb stands uncertainty on its head, making it desirable, even necessary, and proposes that things be built in an antifragile manner. The antifragile is beyond the resilient or robust. The resilient resists shocks and stays the same; the antifragile gets better and better.   Furthermore, the antifragile is immune to prediction errors and protected from adverse events. Why is the city-state better than the nation-state, why is debt bad for you, and why is what we call “efficient” not efficient at all? Why do government responses and social policies protect the strong and hurt the weak? Why should you write your resignation letter before even starting on the job? How did the sinking of the Titanic save lives? The book spans innovation by trial and error, life decisions, politics, urban planning, war, personal finance, economic systems, and medicine. And throughout, in addition to the street wisdom of Fat Tony of Brooklyn, the voices and recipes of ancient wisdom, from Roman, Greek, Semitic, and medieval sources, are loud and clear.   Antifragile is a blueprint for living in a Black Swan world.   Erudite, witty, and iconoclastic, Taleb’s message is revolutionary: The antifragile, and only the antifragile, will make it.

Includes a bonus PDF of supplemental charts and graphics

Please note that that bleeps in the audio are intentional and are as written by the author. No material is censored, and no audio content is missing.

Praise for Antifragile   “Ambitious and thought-provoking . . . highly entertaining.”—The Economist   “A bold book explaining how and why we should embrace uncertainty, randomness, and error . . . It may just change our lives.”—Newsweek   “Revelatory . . . [Taleb] pulls the reader along with the logic of a Socrates.”—Chicago Tribune   “Startling . . . richly crammed with insights, stories, fine phrases and intriguing asides . . . I will have to read it again. And again.”—Matt Ridley, The Wall Street Journal   “Trenchant and persuasive . . . Taleb’s insatiable polymathic curiosity knows no bounds. . . . You finish the book feeling braver and uplifted.”—New Statesman   “Antifragility isn’t just sound economic and political doctrine. It’s also the key to a good life.”—Fortune   “At once thought-provoking and brilliant.”—Los Angeles Times

Read Antifragile: Things That Gain from Disorder Audiobook Online by (Nassim Nicholas Taleb)

Duration: 16 hours, 15 minutes

Writer: Nassim Nicholas Taleb

Publisher: Random House (Audio)

Narrators: Joe Ochman

Genres: Joe Ochman

Rating: 4.22

Narrator Rating: 3.67

Publication: Thursday, 01 November 2012

Antifragile: Things That Gain from Disorder Audiobook Online Reviews

Joe Jennings

Incredible. Nassim is a unique intellect with an inspiring and fresh perspective on economics, philosophy, business, nutrition, exercise... the list continues. Nassim writes the way he speaks, straight to the point, no nonsense, with insightful stories and analogies to enhance his statements. The narrator captures Nassim's inflection and enthusiasm Highly recommended.

Rating: 5

Andres Ulloa

Taleb's book focuses on the core issue of anti-fragility which can be transferred across most subjects. The book is highly "repetitive" which as any great speaker knows is a tool to get people to really grasp the concept. He goes into extensive detail and though many historical examples and philosophers to which he accredits the uncovering of the concept of anti-fragility. Of course he recognizes and expresses that the doer innately understands anti-fragility yet it eludes the spotlight in the academic realm. If you read this book you will learn anti-fragility in depth. Bottom line: If you are really interested or using anti-fragility for a real world application then you should listen/read this book. If you're just trying to grasp the concept quickly and move on I suggest either reading a couple of sections from this book or getting your anti-fragility knowledge from Taleb's other sources, or getting that knowledge through experience.

Rating: 5

John S.

Painful to listen to as he repeats antifragile over and over for different situations. Instead of making up words, call it was it is, adaptability. I couldn't finish the book, would not recommend using your credit on this one.

Rating: 1

Julie Isaacson

Boring and repetitive. If you pick this book to read (or listen), you already know that you learn from failure, and trial and error.

Rating: 1

Similar Audio Books

Super Thinking: The Big Book of Mental Models

Original Author: Lauren Mccann,Gabriel Weinberg

Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business

Original Author: Charles Duhigg

Intelligent Investor Rev Ed.

Original Author: Benjamin Graham

Principles: Life and Work

Original Author: Ray Dalio

Beastie Boys Book

Original Author: Adam Horovitz,Michael Diamond

Yes!: 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive

Original Author: Robert Cialdini,Noah J. Goldstein,Steve J. Martin

Thinking, Fast and Slow

Original Author: Daniel Kahneman

Predictably Irrational

Original Author: Dan Ariely

Skin in the Game: Hidden Asymmetries in Daily Life

Original Author: Nassim Nicholas Taleb

Getting to Yes: How To Negotiate Agreement Without Giving In

Original Author: William Ury,Roger Fisher

Currency Wars: The Making of the Next Global Crises

Original Author: James Richards

Meditations

Original Author: Marcus Aurelius

Think and Grow Rich 1 of 7

Original Author: Napoleon Hill

Rich Dad Poor Dad: What The Rich Teach Their Kids About Money - That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not!

Original Author: Robert T. Kiyosaki

Warren Buffett Way: 3rd Edition

Original Author: Robert G. Hagstrom

Russell Rules: 11 Lessons on Leadership from the 20th Century's Greatest Champion

Original Author: Bill Russell

Tao of Pooh

Original Author: Benjamin Hoff

Age Cryptocurrency: How Bitcoin and Digital Money Are Challenging the Global Economic Order

Original Author: Paul Vigna,Michael J. Casey

Freakonomics Rev Ed

Original Author: Steven D. Levitt,Stephen J. Dubner

Elon Musk: Tesla, SpaceX, and the Quest for a Fantastic Future

Original Author: Ashlee Vance

Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World

Original Author: Cal Newport

Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It

Original Author: Chris Voss,Tahl Raz

Black Swan

Original Author: Nassim Nicholas Taleb

Meditations

Original Author: Marcus Aurelius

Think and Grow Rich - The Original 1937 Edition

Original Author: Napolean Hill

[sabriputrinada]

Free Read Antifragile: Things That Gain from Disorder audiobook Book by Nassim Nicholas Taleb

[Audio Books] Antifragile: Things That Gain from Disorder audiobook by Nassim Nicholas Taleb

Antifragile is a standalone book in Nassim Nicholas Taleb’s landmark Incerto series, an investigation of opacity, luck, uncertainty, probability, human error, risk, and decision-making in a world we don’t understand. The other books in the series are Fooled by Randomness, The Black Swan, and The Bed of Procrustes.

Nassim Nicholas Taleb, the bestselling author of The Black Swan and one of the foremost thinkers of our time, reveals how to thrive in an uncertain world.   Just as human bones get stronger when subjected to stress and tension, and rumors or riots intensify when someone tries to repress them, many things in life benefit from stress, disorder, volatility, and turmoil. What Taleb has identified and calls “antifragile” is that category of things that not only gain from chaos but need it in order to survive and flourish.    In The Black Swan, Taleb showed us that highly improbable and unpredictable events underlie almost everything about our world. In Antifragile, Taleb stands uncertainty on its head, making it desirable, even necessary, and proposes that things be built in an antifragile manner. The antifragile is beyond the resilient or robust. The resilient resists shocks and stays the same; the antifragile gets better and better.   Furthermore, the antifragile is immune to prediction errors and protected from adverse events. Why is the city-state better than the nation-state, why is debt bad for you, and why is what we call “efficient” not efficient at all? Why do government responses and social policies protect the strong and hurt the weak? Why should you write your resignation letter before even starting on the job? How did the sinking of the Titanic save lives? The book spans innovation by trial and error, life decisions, politics, urban planning, war, personal finance, economic systems, and medicine. And throughout, in addition to the street wisdom of Fat Tony of Brooklyn, the voices and recipes of ancient wisdom, from Roman, Greek, Semitic, and medieval sources, are loud and clear.   Antifragile is a blueprint for living in a Black Swan world.   Erudite, witty, and iconoclastic, Taleb’s message is revolutionary: The antifragile, and only the antifragile, will make it.

Includes a bonus PDF of supplemental charts and graphics

Please note that that bleeps in the audio are intentional and are as written by the author. No material is censored, and no audio content is missing.

Praise for Antifragile   “Ambitious and thought-provoking . . . highly entertaining.”—The Economist   “A bold book explaining how and why we should embrace uncertainty, randomness, and error . . . It may just change our lives.”—Newsweek   “Revelatory . . . [Taleb] pulls the reader along with the logic of a Socrates.”—Chicago Tribune   “Startling . . . richly crammed with insights, stories, fine phrases and intriguing asides . . . I will have to read it again. And again.”—Matt Ridley, The Wall Street Journal   “Trenchant and persuasive . . . Taleb’s insatiable polymathic curiosity knows no bounds. . . . You finish the book feeling braver and uplifted.”—New Statesman   “Antifragility isn’t just sound economic and political doctrine. It’s also the key to a good life.”—Fortune   “At once thought-provoking and brilliant.”—Los Angeles Times

Read Antifragile: Things That Gain from Disorder audiobook by (Nassim Nicholas Taleb)

Duration: 16 hours, 15 minutes

Writer: Nassim Nicholas Taleb

Publisher: Random House (Audio)

Narrators: Joe Ochman

Genres: Joe Ochman

Rating: 4.22

Narrator Rating: 3.67

Publication: Thursday, 01 November 2012

Antifragile: Things That Gain from Disorder audiobook Reviews

Joe Jennings

Incredible. Nassim is a unique intellect with an inspiring and fresh perspective on economics, philosophy, business, nutrition, exercise... the list continues. Nassim writes the way he speaks, straight to the point, no nonsense, with insightful stories and analogies to enhance his statements. The narrator captures Nassim's inflection and enthusiasm Highly recommended.

Rating: 5

Andres Ulloa

Taleb's book focuses on the core issue of anti-fragility which can be transferred across most subjects. The book is highly "repetitive" which as any great speaker knows is a tool to get people to really grasp the concept. He goes into extensive detail and though many historical examples and philosophers to which he accredits the uncovering of the concept of anti-fragility. Of course he recognizes and expresses that the doer innately understands anti-fragility yet it eludes the spotlight in the academic realm. If you read this book you will learn anti-fragility in depth. Bottom line: If you are really interested or using anti-fragility for a real world application then you should listen/read this book. If you're just trying to grasp the concept quickly and move on I suggest either reading a couple of sections from this book or getting your anti-fragility knowledge from Taleb's other sources, or getting that knowledge through experience.

Rating: 5

John S.

Painful to listen to as he repeats antifragile over and over for different situations. Instead of making up words, call it was it is, adaptability. I couldn't finish the book, would not recommend using your credit on this one.

Rating: 1

Julie Isaacson

Boring and repetitive. If you pick this book to read (or listen), you already know that you learn from failure, and trial and error.

Rating: 1

Related Audio Books

Super Thinking: The Big Book of Mental Models

Original Author: Lauren Mccann,Gabriel Weinberg

Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business

Original Author: Charles Duhigg

Intelligent Investor Rev Ed.

Original Author: Benjamin Graham

Principles: Life and Work

Original Author: Ray Dalio

Beastie Boys Book

Original Author: Adam Horovitz,Michael Diamond

Yes!: 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive

Original Author: Robert Cialdini,Noah J. Goldstein,Steve J. Martin

Thinking, Fast and Slow

Original Author: Daniel Kahneman

Predictably Irrational

Original Author: Dan Ariely

Skin in the Game: Hidden Asymmetries in Daily Life

Original Author: Nassim Nicholas Taleb

Getting to Yes: How To Negotiate Agreement Without Giving In

Original Author: William Ury,Roger Fisher

Currency Wars: The Making of the Next Global Crises

Original Author: James Richards

Meditations

Original Author: Marcus Aurelius

Think and Grow Rich 1 of 7

Original Author: Napoleon Hill

Rich Dad Poor Dad: What The Rich Teach Their Kids About Money - That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not!

Original Author: Robert T. Kiyosaki

Warren Buffett Way: 3rd Edition

Original Author: Robert G. Hagstrom

Russell Rules: 11 Lessons on Leadership from the 20th Century's Greatest Champion

Original Author: Bill Russell

Tao of Pooh

Original Author: Benjamin Hoff

Age Cryptocurrency: How Bitcoin and Digital Money Are Challenging the Global Economic Order

Original Author: Paul Vigna,Michael J. Casey

Freakonomics Rev Ed

Original Author: Steven D. Levitt,Stephen J. Dubner

Elon Musk: Tesla, SpaceX, and the Quest for a Fantastic Future

Original Author: Ashlee Vance

Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World

Original Author: Cal Newport

Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It

Original Author: Chris Voss,Tahl Raz

Black Swan

Original Author: Nassim Nicholas Taleb

Meditations

Original Author: Marcus Aurelius

Think and Grow Rich - The Original 1937 Edition

Original Author: Napolean Hill

[maphyorg]

WordPress REST API: An Introduction

WP REST API: What is it and how to get started?

If you’ve spent any time in the WordPress community over the past few years, chances are you’ve heard reference made to the new REST API. However, unless you’re an experienced developer, you may not have any idea what the WordPress REST API actually is.

While the technical details are a bit complex, the basic concepts behind this feature are easy enough to grasp. The new API helps expand what WordPress as a platform can do. What’s more, the REST API makes it simpler than ever for developers to connect WordPress with other sites and applications.

In this comprehensive guide, we’ll walk you through all the basics you need to know. We’ll explain what APIs are in general, and what REST APIs (and the WordPress-specific version) are in particular. Then, we’ll talk about how to start using the WordPress REST API yourself. Let’s jump right in!

An introduction to Application Programming Interfaces (APIs)

Before we delve into the REST API specifically, let’s back up a little. To understand this concept, it’s key to first have a basic idea of what APIs are in general.

At its most fundamental level, an API – or Application Programming Interface – enables two applications to communicate with one another. For instance, when you visit a website, your browser sends a request to the server where that site is located. That server’s API is what receives your browser’s request, interprets it, and sends back all the data required to display your site.

There’s a lot more to the way APIs work in a technical sense, of course. However, we’re going to focus on what probably matters most to you – the practical applications. APIs have been getting lots of attention and visibility, because many companies have begun to package them up and provide them as products you can use.

In other words, developers at a company like Google will collect some parts of their application’s code together, and make it publicly available. That way, other developers can use the API as a tool to help their own sites connect to Google and take advantage of its features:

For instance, you could use the Google Maps API to place a fully-functioning map on your site that benefits from all of Google’s relevant data and features. This saves you from having to code up a map and collect all that data yourself. The same applies to a wide range of sites and applications.

As websites and the functionality they rely on get more complex, tools like APIs become crucial. They enable developers to build on existing functionality, making it possible to simply ‘plug in’ new features to your website. In turn, the site that owns the API benefits from the increased exposure and traffic.

The fundamental rules of a REST (Representational State Transfer) API

There are many ways to create an API. A REST (Representational State Transfer) API is a particular type that is developed following specific rules. In other words, REST presents a set of guidelines developers can use when building APIs. This ensures that the APIs function effectively.

To understand how REST APIs work, you therefore need to know what rules (or ‘constraints’) they function under. There are five basic elements that make an API ‘RESTful’. Keep in mind that the ‘server’ is the platform the API belongs to, and the ‘client’ is the site, application, or software connecting to that platform:

Client-server architecture. The API should be built so that the client and the server remain separate from one another. That way they can continue to develop on their own, and can be used independently.

Statelessness. REST APIs must follow a ‘stateless’ protocol. In other words, they can’t store any information about the client on the server. The client’s request should include all the necessary data upfront, and the response should provide everything the client needs. This makes each interaction a ‘one and done’ deal, and reduces both memory requirements and the potential for errors.

Cacheability. A ‘cache’ is the temporary storage of specific data, so it can be retrieved and sent faster. RESTful APIs make use of cacheable data whenever possible, to improve speed and efficiency. In addition, the API needs to let the client know if each piece of data can and should be cached.

Layered system. Well-designed REST APIs are built using layers, each one with its own designated functionality. These layers interact, but remain separate. This makes the API easier to modify and update over time, and also improves its security.

Uniform interface. All parts of a REST API need to function via the same interface, and communicate using the same languages. This interface should be designed specifically for the API and able to evolve on its own. It should not be dependent on the server or client to function.

Any API that follows these principles can be considered RESTful. There is also a sixth constraint, referred to as ‘code on demand’. When followed, this technique lets the API instruct the server to transmit code to a client, in order to extend its functionality. However, this constraint is optional, and not adopted by all REST APIs.

The WordPress REST API

At this point, you may be wondering how all of this affects you. APIs are excellent tools, but are they relevant to your day-to-day work? If you’re a WordPress user, the answer is unequivocally “yes”.

The WordPress REST API has been under development for a couple of years now. For quite a while, it was worked on as an independent plugin, which developers could contribute to over time was available for anyone to experiment with.

In fact, there were two separate versions of the REST API plugin. Elements of the API were added into the core platform as early as update 4.4. This was followed by it becoming fully integrated as of WordPress 4.7 (in 2016). This means that today, WordPress has its own fully-functional REST API.

Why did the platform make this move? According to the project site itself, it’s because WordPress is moving towards becoming a “fully-fledged application framework”. In other words, the REST API enables the platform to interact with just about any site and web application. Plus, it can communicate and exchange data regardless of what languages an external program uses.

This opens up numerous possibilities for developers. It also makes WordPress as a platform more flexible and universal than ever. As Katie Keith, the Operations Director at Barn2 Media puts it:

By understanding the REST API, WordPress developers can choose the most effective way to implement each task, without being confined to specific technologies or platforms such as PHP or the WordPress back end. Used effectively, the REST API makes third party integrations much easier…It even opens up new opportunities, for example to create your own WordPress-based mobile apps, or explore new and unique ways to communicate with WordPress.

It’s also important to note that you may hear this feature sometimes referred to as the WordPress JSON REST API. The ‘JSON’ part, which stands for JavaScript Object Notation, describes the format this API uses to exchange data. That format is based on JavaScript, and is a popular way of developing APIs thanks to how well it interfaces with many common programming languages. In other words, a JSON API is able to more easily facilitate communications between applications that utilize different languages.

The anatomy of a WordPress REST API request

You should now understand the overall purpose and direction of the WordPress REST API. As such, let’s get into a few specifics about how it works. There are some basic concepts you’ll need to understand if you want to get hands-on and start experimenting with the API yourself.

As we’ve explained, every API processes requests and returns responses. In other words, a client asks it to perform a certain action, and the API carries out that action. Exactly how APIs do this can vary. REST APIs are specifically designed to receive and respond to particular type of requests, using simple HTML commands (or ‘methods’).

To illustrate, here are the most basic and important HTML methods a client may send:

GET: This command retrieves a resource from the server (such as a particular piece of data).

POST: With this, the client adds a resource to the server.

PUT: You can use this to edit or update a resource that’s already on the server.

DELETE: As the name suggests, this removes a resource from the server.

Along with these commands, the client will send one or more lines that communicate exactly which resource is desired and what should be done with it. For example, a request to upload a PHP file into a particular folder on a server might look like this:

POST /foldername/my_file.php

The /foldername/my_file.php part is called the ‘route’, since it tells the API where to go and what data to interact with. When you combine it with the HTTP method (POST in this case), the entire function is referred to as an ‘endpoint’.

Most REST APIs and the clients that interact with them get a lot more complicated than this – WordPress’ version included. However, these basic elements form the basis for how the WordPress REST API works.

How to start using the WordPress REST API

As long as you have a WordPress site set up, you can start experimenting with the REST API right away. You can perform various GET requests to retrieve data directly, simply by using your browser.

To access the WordPress REST API, you’ll need to start with the following route:

yoursite.com/wp-json/wp/v2

Then, you can add onto this URL to access various types of data. For instance, you could look up a specific user profile via a route like this:

yoursite.com/wp-json/wp/v2/users/4567

In this scenario, “4567” is the unique user ID for the profile you want to see. If you left out that ID, you would instead see a list of all the users on your site:

You can use the same basic route to view other types of data, such as your posts or pages. You can even search for subsets of the data that meet certain criteria. For example, you could retrieve all posts that include a specific term using this URL:

yoursite.com/wp-json/wp/v2/posts?=search[keyword]

This is just a simple illustration, of course. There’s almost no limit to what you can actually do using the WordPress REST API. If you want to learn more about how it works, we recommend starting with the following resources:

The REST API Handbook. This is an official WordPress resource that documents all sorts of information about the REST API. Among other things, you’ll find a list of endpoints you can use, as well as details on some of the REST API’s structural aspects that we haven’t touched on here.

W3Schools tutorials. While this resource isn’t REST API-specific, it offers handy tutorials that can help you brush up on key concepts, such as HTTP methods and JSON.

The Ultimate Guide to the WordPress REST API. This free e-book from WP Engine contains lots of practical information and examples. Plus, it will walk you through how to accomplish several basic (and more advanced) tasks.

While we’re at it, also check out this list of the top 10 plugins for WordPress developers. They will surely come in handy as you’re exploring the world of REST API.

The WordPress REST API is no doubt a complex topic. Even for non-developers, however, it’s worthwhile to understand the basics of how this technology works, and what it makes possible. What’s more, it may even enable you to start dabbling in development yourself!

Conclusion

There’s no better time to learn about the WordPress REST API than now. Since it’s been fully merged into WordPress core, it’s going to play an important role in the platform’s future. Developers of all stripes will be using this API to connect WordPress to the broader web in ways that were previously difficult or impossible.

Understanding this concept for yourself can be a bit challenging. At a basic level, however, the concepts are easy enough to grasp. A REST API is an interface that enables two programs to ‘talk’ to one another, and is created following guidelines that ensure it’s flexible, extensible, and secure. If you want to delve deeper into how all of this works and how it can be used, there are lots of helpful resources out there, such as the official handbook.

from WordPress https://maphyorg.wpcomstaging.com/3281.html

[miamacdonald-uxui-research-703]

Beyond Talks - Day 2

Speaker 1 

Clem Devine - Jasmax

Brand Design Lead - leads a multidisciplinary team of designers, across all media including the built environment. 

39 years old, been a designer for 17 years. Times are changing, designers are good at responding to changes, ambiguity.

Creative Director / Design Director / Senior Designer / Part-Time Accountant / Stakeholder Manager - as a Brand Design Lead

“Design is persistently not knowing and finding out by learning with others.”

Les Mason influence - Graphic Designer did some work for Epicurean Magazine in the 1960’s, a wild “mad-man” character. “Father of Australian Graphic Design.”

What he learnt - work with the best people that you can (above and beside you, people you hire and employ). 

Make international work (blogs, instagram, awards programs)

Allan Derrick influence - used to run a Graphic Design studio in Invercargill. 

Southern Institute of Technology - did the logo design.

What he learnt - treat your staff the same.

Neil Pardington - Artist / Photographer - Eyeworks Design studio in Wellington.

Design can be art (Fiona Pardington is his sister).

Shane Cotton - worked on identity of his business card.

What he learnt - find your mentors. Look at the marketplace and think about the people you love and admire, who you think do interesting work.

Remain calm at all times. 

Dean Poole - Alt Group - 2 or 3 steps ahead of where you’d expect Design companies to be. 

What he learnt - Design is an idea. (not just craft/stylisation)

Buy shares in your clients businesses.

Ben Corban - Managing Director of Alt Group, part of the Corban winery family.

Take a long term view, design for 30 years. Build a practice over time.

Create a safe space for design to thrive.

Over time you become a mentor yourself, forget some of the things your mentors told you, no longer relevant.

Sam Trustrum / Zoe Ikin - Judge at Best Awards, Studio Magazine | Designer’s Journal.

Be friends with designers you admire.

Work with your friends before they have kids.

Brian Richards - Richards Partners 

Design is business $ needs to have a value attached to it that clients will pay for - design will have a valuable impact on the client.

Manage up and manage yourself - empathetic, continue to work on your social and emotional intelligence.

Helena Charleson - Marketing Director at Colliers (property development space).

Work for clients you like and that like you.

Jasmax - Architecture studio - you have to carve your own path and create value for their business, create great work. 

Nick Moyes - what a brand design team might look like, 4 people now.

Pick your team carefully, you have to like working with them.

Stay relevant. Design is moving so quickly, stay engaged and interested. Stay optimistic.

Working with different disciplines is hard, but you become a better designer.

Design is politics, play it fair. 

Design Assembly and AUT - fairness in how you engage with community.

Influence is better than control. (over a process, people, company or client).

The only thing you can control is yourself. 

Pick the best lessons from everyone you’ve worked with and forget the rest.

Keep regular hours. Maintain a regular discipline, hobbies, friends and family, have other interests, don’t let Design become an all consuming thing. Be curious about business and technology.

Make things that last a long time - projects that have a value. e.g. friends, connections, processes we might learn. Go deep on something quite interesting, as a topic.

Drips installation at Studio One in Ponsonby - meant to be temporary but it’s still there, stays as permanent in Auckland.

Running a profitable business gives you more flexibility to work on other projects.

Research & Development - varies project to project, depending on estimates of project and resources. How you quote a job is quite secretive in the industry.

Advice to approach designers or design businesses that you like, ask to spend 30 minutes talking with a designer - to take the pressure off trying to approach it as applying for a job.

Remote working at this time, have a discipline or a routine to follow.

Speaker 2 

Eden Short & Guy Hohmann - Maynard

Guy - born in Canada, left Whangarei and moved to Auckland at 18, went to Design school at Unitec.

Worked at Maynard in London for 5 years before relocating back to Auckland.

Layering of materiality in the built environment, interested in how cities evolve, temporary states (construction), nature and how natural systems and ecologies can act as template for built environment.

Wayfinding, architecture signs at train stations.

Eden - B- graphic design, cartography and maps, photography. In her honours project, produced a fake world.

Wayfinding, where maps sit.

Collaborations with friends - Print Error, AUT Zine Club, Dryden St Distro, final_final (creative space in Grey Lynn for personal projects, design market).

Zine - self-published artefact done fully by the Designer.

100 days, 1 yellow dot.

Maynard - People, Place, Product - way finding on all levels, how people occupy spaces. 

User Experience is at the heart of our process, ensuring highly bespoke design.

Multidisciplinary practice - 4 offices - London, Melbourne, Auckland, Sydney.

A furniture collection - spaces needed to be canvases for urban life, not locking them into a certain way of being. Marshalls TENPLO - mini-model.

Gateless Gatelines - research project using new technology to transform the gateline user experience (rail) and improve station efficiency.

Gates are a bottleneck, becomes a safety issue.

M.I.N.D.S.P.A.C.E. model - how people adopt to new technology (Google)

Biometric data, e.g. Apple Pay, Snapchat.

Passenger journey, looked into it in a lot of detail, with different personas. Challenges, how does it work, will people try to run through? Will security have to intervene? Photos are taken, to track down people who are abusing the gate system.

Technology timeline, at what point will people be able to do this on their own phones?

Started with small scale models to illustrate the idea.

Empathic and human centred is preferable to autonomous and hi-tech.

Systems must integrate with user habits to become the default.

Connect Me - Reimagining the future train interior to respond to changing travel behaviours, expectations.

The 4 C’s - Cost Reduction, Carbon Reduction, Capacity Improvement, Customer Experience. 

End to end journey - from door to destination - mapping out needs and motivations. 

Our vision for the future of rail travel is to have the passenger experience at its core. Digital and physical solutions.

Modular train - designed to increase capacity.- how to reconfigure seats, bike racks etc?

Flexibility to fold seats up and down depending on peak travel times.

End to end journey is key. Passengers expect more, personalisation is the norm. Trains are more than a transport mode, places to work, rest, interact. 

Aotea Centre - A bespoke bilingual way finding system. Brutalism was part of the buildings heritage. They wanted to understand how the building worked, and what it was used for - theatres, conference centres, accessible wayfinding and signage. All signs had to include bilingual Te Reo and English.

Worked with staff to assist with concept developments.

Hospitality is a core design principle, also incorporate braille and tactile type.

Concerns of legibility and sign standing out in the environment.

Stacking of Maori, English and braille.

Softening curve in the signs, with native timber. In the product family, e.g. wall mounted signs, unified sign family.

Full signage family in a foyer space.

Local team within a small international company.

Connecting Downtown Auckland - along the waterfront, connecting 6 different infrastructure projects. Unify 5 different transport modes across the precinct. Ensure designs are future-proofed.

Needs to speak to the local context of Tamaki Makaurau.

Multi-modal analysis of transport, walking, cycling, buses, trains, ferries.

When way finding doesn’t work, that’s when you really notice it.

Broad but specific - identify tangible opportunities. 

Created a robust design brief.

Research is holistic - research informs practice and practice informs research.

Lots of photos of bricks and walls, mark-making in the urban environment. Became the basis for ceramic works, called “the bricks’.

Ensure design outcomes are user focused, inform aesthetic and create coherent design narrative, contributing to culture and context, build knowledge around sustainability. 

User testing was predominantly done on the existing system, to understand what was broken and what needed fixing for people. 

Speaker 3 

Mike Felix - DDB - Creative Director

Every creative endeavour must start with research. 

Find the insight, the idea is the guiding star, followed by the execution.

The sharper the idea articulation is, the better the outcome.

Design: create, fashion, execute or construct according to plan.

There is always something guiding you or informing your design.

Concepts leading design. 

Base your talk on the size of the room. 

What makes a good brand? Fernando Machado (Burger King) a good client is what makes a good brand. The client who is brave enough to say yes. 

Where do you start? Research. 

e.g. campaign to stop people from walking in-front of trains. To a train driver, it was like a near-death. 

Bernbach - joined a creative team: writer and art director.

Seperate research, thought starters, looking for tidbits and insights, then they cross-pollinate and sit down with what they’ve done - which instantly starts the process. Creative check-in is an important meeting, when ideas get shut down, it’s important to kill your ideas, internal reviews with strategists / suits - idea articulation.

Your muse is a rogue alcoholic, but if you always show up on time, so will it. 

The better you are at selling an idea, the more likely you are to make an idea. Get into acting.

Client feedback, process of briefing directors, and doing directors treatments - their case for what they think, what have they added? Award the job to 1 director, answering client feedback. PPM - pre-production meeting, plan. Shoot is a world in itself. 

Offline - fancy word for edit. Watching someone else make your idea. Client offline, Grade, Online, Client Offline, Sound Mix, then Dispatch. 

When you put an idea out there, you have to keep track of it, document it.

How do you approach a challenge? From a safe distance.

When you’re researching, you’re gathering trees. The solution to a challenge can be obvious once you understand the problem really well.

Lotto ticket ad - when the ad contained the numbers.

How do you get over a creative block? 

The conscious mind is like the secretary, the subconscious mind comes up with the ideas, CEO/Director - the door is always shut. Wait for the CEO to write an idea on a piece of paper and slide it under the door. 

Lower stress levels and pressure levels, sleep well, meditate. 

YOU don’t come up with all the ideas, idea supercharges conscious.

Idea is in the brief somewhere, sleep, salmon and avocado are good for the brain,  idea generation, sleep, 2 hours to concept, picked 1 idea. 

What was your life like after you graduated? 

Speaker 4 

Professor Welby Ings - AUT

True intelligence can become invisible, if it doesn’t fit into the education system.

Thinks in images, writes articles. Our best nature is our disobedient nature. ‘Disobedient Teaching’ book.

Painted people, more interested in the piece that is inside of people. Trying to understand the realm that images can work in. 

Protest movements, protest and arrest. When things aren’t right, you either have the choice to stand back or stand up. 

Storytelling, telling a story of a better society.

Set up alternative campaigns, and get stories across in a world that didn’t give funding to it. 

Consequences of being silent, pandemic of AIDS in the 80’s and 90’s.

The mind and the heart get tangled up together, we don’t just communicate cognitively. 

You realise how precious life is, when your friends die around you. 

5 films - short films won’t make a lot of money, but it’s a maverick move.

Meaty research involves within the process of the work, not just beforehand.

The Coopers ‘Sometimes Love Can Kill’

Over time work builds reputation.

“I draw to think” to get outside of the obedient mind. 

Arapuni drawings as research, materials at hand. Drawing to think inside the possibility of something, becomes dialogic, talks to you, not in the open world.

The colour palette moved into the colour palette in the grading of the film.

He draws characters at every age. 

“Boy” 2004 - wasn’t going to be funded as a short film, he had to self-fund it.

The power of the idea and your commitment to drive it.

Material thinking, in doing, as a process.

Extraordinary - extra-ordinary - find a passion that brings something into the world that others can’t.

Trying to find the dimensions of the character.

In research, there are levels of discovery.

“Munted” short film - takes him about 5 years to do. A worthy investment if you think extraordinarily about the world.

The metanarrative - heroic sacrifice - ANZAC day every year. National pride, 

When We Go To War - 6 episode TV story - opening credits

Year after year we can recycle the same narratives.

NZ - WWI - problems - PTSD - shell shock

Failed masculinity, maladjustment, malingering, cowardice etc.

Shell shock condition (not yet diagnosed) - clip from London

Suicide and desertion in the war - records were erased.

Erasure in the world war, not talking about something.

Sparrow - the story of a kid who thought he could fly and the story of his grandfather.

Films are talking pictures. 

“the stories we never tell”

Physical making of things, to get inside the film, from where he directs.

We can become a service provider, if we’re not careful. We can lose that essence.

Disobedience can be constructive, go out into the world and become extraordinary.

What is the spirit of the sound / idea - typography

“We have gifts inside of ourselves, some we recognise, some we turn a blind eye to.”

Hothouse of extraordinary minds - PHD students

Early childhood and PHD have no marks, but everything in between is constructed. 

If a job is such a terrible thing that we have to separate ourselves from it (work, life balance) then we’re in the wrong job.

Creativity - ask the questions others don’t

Fiction having the power to reach where truth doesn’t

Sensitivity that makes us creative, we carry more around with us. “I run to let go, I garden” I don’t find a balance, I find a retreat in things.

Carries a clock around with him, no cellphone, no social media presence. 

I groom my world back, light my fire, draw, write something.

As a teacher, my job is to understand how you think. I listen carefully, we show more than we can tell.

[mst3kproject]

313: Earth vs the Spider

First we had It Conquered the World, in which It failed to even conquer the town of Beechwood.  Now we have Earth vs the Spider, in which the poor Spider is badly outnumbered even when it, too, is only really menacing one small California town.  It's an incongruous title in other ways as well, but I'll get to that.

High school student Carol Flynn is worried when her father doesn't return from a drive, so she and her rather tactless boyfriend Mike set out to see what's keeping him.  There's no trace of the man, but they do find a huge silk rope across the road, which they follow into a cave, which turns out to be home to a spider the size of a house!  A giant dose of DDT appears to kill it (along with the entire rest of the cave ecosystem), so a teacher has the gigantic corpse taken back to town and stored in the school gym so that scientists from across the country can come and study it. Before that can happen, however, the spider is brought back to life by the Power of Rock N Roll, and soon it's off on the inevitable rampage!

The movie never tells us how they got the huge spider back to town.  Did they just strap it to the top of a truck?  Did they airlift it with a helicopter?  In either case, how did they first get it out of the cave?  Maybe they used whatever it was they did to transport King Kong to New York.

Other than that, it's kind of hard to find anything to say about Earth vs the Spider. It's another bland, by-the-numbers sort of movie that doesn't really have anything to make it stand out from the pack.  It's something to look at for seventy minutes, but it doesn't linger.  The most memorable thing about it is the scene in Lilo and Stitch where it's playing on the televisions in a shop window and Stitch finds it inspiring.

That said, the movie is not necessarily bad.  In fact, there are places where it pays a surprising amount of attention to everyday details that help make the silly story feel more grounded.  For example, Carol's father doesn't seem to have been a very responsible man, but at the same time we can tell he and Carol were very close and she takes great offense whenever anybody else refers to his poor reputation.  Yet in spite of her love for him, she knows she has no grounds to defend him, either, and is eventually forced to admit that his having run off to gamble his paycheque away is a very real possibility.  Her distress over the loss of the bracelet he bought for her would seem like an over-reaction under other circumstances, but understandable due to her grief at his death.

Other character also have nice touches like this.  The fact that Mike keeps putting his foot in his mouth, or that he doesn't have his own car but must borrow one from a friend, make the characters feel more like real teenagers even if the actors don't always look the part.  It's also nice to see that the kids actually have parents who can be supportive, worried, or strict by turns, as the situation demands.  The small town setting makes it plausible that the characters cannot consult with scientists or the military about their spider problem.  The closest thing they have is their high school science teacher.  He's not exactly on the cutting edge of research, so he uses what he's familiar with rather than coming up with some esoteric technobabble solution to the monster.

So the characters are fairly convincingly written (George Worthing Yates also co-wrote Them!, which is easily the best of the 50's giant bug movies), but unfortunately they're less-convincingly played.  I kind of have a thing for June Kenney (Carol), who looked awfully cute in her circle skirts and sailor collars, but she's not a good actress.  She always sounds like she's trying too hard, which makes her the opposite of Eugene Persson (Mike), who sounds like he's barely trying at all.  If they were both at the same end of this scale it might work, but the fact that they're equal opposites just emphasizes how much they both suck.  The Sheriff's skepticism when he first hears about the spider is understandable, but Gene Roth's overacting does neither him nor the movie any favours.

Special effects are a mixed bag.  A composite shot of Mike and Carol running along a ledge doesn't look bad – you can buy that they're actually in Carlsbad Caverns for the purposes of the movie.  A moment later, however, we see a tarantula move through the same image of the cavern, which has now been cut out so that the spider can pass behind the rock formations without an expensive process shot.  This looks terrible, and there's a spot where you can see the edge of the cut-out cardboard.  The dried-out victims that have been drained by the spider are amusingly gruesome, but the skeletons strewn around the cave are obvious plastic.  The huge strands of silk that make up the spider's web look quite nice, all filamentous and springy, but when we see bits of the spider in the same shot as the humans they always look hideously fake.

Come to think of it, where are all those skeletons supposed to have come from?  We don't hear about a rash of car accidents or missing persons along that stretch of road – maybe we should have, since it would give extra foundation to Carol's fears for her father's safety.  There's got to be a dozen or more corpses sitting around in there.  Who were these people?

The spider itself is realized (quote unquote) like all Bert I. Gordon's giant creations are – mostly through superimposed shots of a live tarantula, with a bit of very limited puppetry.  While the latter is, as I've already observed, pretty dreadful, the process shots here are about as good as they ever got in such movies.  Certainly they're a hell of a lot better than the bugs with holes in them of King Dinosaur or The Cyclops.  The angles are matched very well to the background footage, and the spider is never obviously transparent.  As long as it's not expected to interact with its environment or the characters, it's quite acceptable.  It seems that by this point in his giant bug movie career, Gordon had a good handle on what he could and could not get away with, at least as far as superimposition went.

(Incidentally, if you're wondering why you've never heard of a 'bird spider', that's because it's a species found mostly in the rainforests of Columbia and Venezuela.  Bird spiders are golden-brown in colour and about as big as a bread-and-butter plate, make poor pets because of their aggressive temperament, and never come anywhere near the southwestern United States unless a human brings them there.  The furry little spider the movie shows us, supposedly representing a normal-sized bird spider, looks like an ordinary Chilean rose-hair to me. Rose-hairs are half the size of a bird spider (also called a goliath bird-eater... because yes, they do) and not even in the same genus, though both are in the tarantula family.  Spider nerd out.)

Unusually for a Bert I. Gordon movie, Earth vs the Spider never delves into the question of why there's a giant spider running around.  His other movies all give excuses for embiggening things: Glenn Manning's cells were mutated by exposure to the plutonium bomb, the locusts in The Beginning of the End ate irradiated grain, Empire of the Ants blames a toxic spill, and Village of the Giants has the Goo.  None of these are very plausible, but they all make it over the 'just accept it' threshold so we can get to the story beyond.  Earth vs the Spider brings the idea up, but never bothers to do anything with it.  The teacher notes that while the spider may be dead, 'the principle that caused it to grow' is not, and it's important to study this so they won't end up with more giant spiders that could easily overwhelm human civilization.

This idea is somewhat reminiscent of Them!, in which the elder Dr. Medford fears that the ants, which breed faster and build more efficiency, will drive humanity to extinction.  Unlike in Them!, however, the plot point serves only as an excuse for bringing the spider into town so it can wake up and have stuff to wreck.  Nobody ever finds out why it was so big, and at the end the cave is sealed up with explosives while the mystery remains un-solved – it's never even referenced again.  In the other Bert I. Gordon 'giant creature' movies, the beastie's origin is frequently key to its defeat.  In The Amazing Colossal Man the scientists are able to find a cure for Glenn's condition after they realize what effect the plutonium bomb had on his bone marrow.  In Village of the Giants, Genius discovers an antidote to the Goo.  Earth vs the Spider?  Nothing doing.  Why did they even bother to bring it up? It seems like the best approach might have been to just not worry about the origin of the spider and hope the audience wouldn't think of it themselves.

This is the other place where the title seems very strange.  The idea that the spider is a menace to the entire Earth is merely an exaggeration, but the title Earth vs the Spider also seems to imply that the spider itself is from somewhere else, like the interdimensional spiders of The Giant Spider Invasion.  If you're gonna give us a Spider from Nowhere, fine, but don't do that after a title that seems to promise us a Spider from Mars!

I am not watching Giant Spider Invasion next week.  Fifty-foot spiders are something I have to pace myself with or I'll run out of things to say about them.

[melodramatic--blog]

GESTALT WORK ON AWARENESS WITH BEL pt 2 (HQ)

second part of a two hour session on awarenesss with actress bel baca. this is the “guided awareness” part of the exercise, since here i am giving lots of feedback immediately as things happen. in the “unguided” part i waited about 15 minutes before giving feedback. i continue this “guided” process in the 3rd and last part, the next video.

BY FRANKLYN WEPNER SEPTEMBER 1, 2006

HOW I WORK: GESTALT DREAMWORK AS THEATER AND PROPHECY

GESTALT DREAM WORK AS PREPARATION FOR PERFORMING

Since 1975 I have been using Gestalt work on awareness, dreams and personal relationships as a way to train and direct performers. The basic principle is simple. I use the Gestalt work to peel the onion of layer after layer of social cliches, ego games and unfinished personal business, and then I do the reverse process reconstituting the onion in the form of characters or other artist structures. The existential message of the dream becomes the superobjective or action of the tragedy, and then I build up the way the performer handles the characters and the plot around that.

My usual procedure is to begin the training with three Gestalt sessions, one on one. The first session, two hours long, deals with the three zones of awareness. During the first hour I simply let him relate what he aware of, since I want to know how he operates before I start meddling with his life. This is important since overall during the Gestalt sessions we are peeling the onion of cliches and games to get to authentic action, and later we will need all of those layers to rebuild the onion as characters involved in the unfolding action of a drama. We need his cliche and game layers for the beginning of the action in Act One as much as we need his authentic action at the end of the dramatic action for Acts Four and Five of a tragic drama.

During the second hour of the first Gestalt session on awareness I attempt to guide him towards a balance of the zones of awareness: outer zone awareness of the environment, inner zone awareness of his body, and fantasy zone awareness of his daydreams. The second and third Gestalt sessions are each three hours long, and each is a typical Gestalt dreamwork session as presented by Fritz Perls in Gestalt Therapy Verbatim. The performer tells the dream in the here and now, identifies with (play acts) several of the main images of the dream in dialogues with each other, and experiences the rhythm of contact and withdrawal. That is to say, after each major dialogue of polarized sides of himself (the contact part) he is instructed to close his eyes, enter his body awareness and daydream (the withdrawal phase of the rhythm).

Since my goal is theater as well as healing, whenever possible during the Gestalt dreamwork I encourage lots of expression using sound and movements. I work with a palette of about 200 different types of recorded musical excerpts, and whenever appropriate I ask him if that image or emotional state were part of a movie what sort of music might be the sound track. Then I find something close to that in my palette of musical colors and ask him to express the mood using the music along with his vocalizing and expressive movements. While he is doing the entire session I spend most of my time jotting down near verbatim notes and making stick figures of his poses and movements, since later in the work I will feed all this back to him and encourage him to explore using it as creative material for acting, dance or whatever his medium is. Taping the session is less useful, since then I would need to spend too much time replaying the tapes. Taking notes live forces me to sort out the wheat from the chaff very efficiently, even at the cost of not observing or notating every detail.

WORKING OUT FROM YOUR CENTERS

After the three introductory one on one Gestalt sessions, session number four is for feedback and discussion of the results. I show him in my notes and diagrams all of the stages of competed and uncompleted actions, and together we search for characters in the theater literature that have similar patterns of action. Is he a Hamlet type, or an Oedipus type, for example? In contrast to the usual practice in acting classes, his first acting assignment probably will be a monologue from a serious tragedy, since I want him to begin with a dramatic action with which he can identify totally. In this process he is using his major Gestalt moments as what Michael Chekhov in his book “To The Actor” labels “psychological gestures”. Perls calls them the “essences” of a patient’s personality, or we can say he is working from his “centers”, stretching those sounds, moves and psychological motivations in as many creative directions as he can. I monitor closely to be sure he is not faking it, the way most actors end up doing since they do not have the centers to begin with.

Before the performer begins working with others doing improvs and scenework, there is an important transitional stage in the work in which I help him get comfortable using his very personal Gestalt material freely as creative material. He needs to shift from seeing himself as a patient to enjoying the role of an artist of the theater, freely using his life as creative material. He needs to distance himself from the hot personal stuff using alienation techniques usually associated with the epic theater process of Bertold Brecht. Especially useful here is the “mocking your forms” exercise. First he performs one of his most personal forms, the movements and the sounds, and at the same time observes carefully (visually and kinesthetically) exactly what his body and voice are doing. Next he moves over about ten feet and from the new position looks back and imagines he is observing himself doing what he just did. Then, in as critical a manner as he can risk, he begins to mock that image of himself which is doing the form. He uses the form to mock the form by exaggerating it in as grotesque a way as he can risk. “I see you over there, Joe, you are flapping your arms just like a fish, like you don’t know what you are doing, etc., etc.” The more cruelty he can risk in his distortions and denunciations, the more he frees himself from being self-conscious and also the more the initial one physical and vocal form gives birth to a family of related forms. Other techniques which help expand and loosen up hot psychological material are (a) using various sorts of music as the basis of improvs, (b) stretching the forms into naturalistic short scenes, such as swimming or basketball, or (c) introducing a short text, such as “Yes, but”. GROUP TECHNIQUES

One he has his core of personal essences and after he has achieved some distance and flexibility in the use of his material, he is ready to work with other performers on improvs and scenes. I can direct several performers simultaneously since I know the sources of their personal material. I am directing them inside and out, so it is not just guesswork and wishful thinking as in most studios. Here again there are certain exercises which are particularly helpful in developing communication between performers and establishing a group improv structure that allows each person to use his personal material in a creative manner. Basic acting or dance improv exercises used by all studios work much better once each performer has a stock of essences to guide his explorations. The mirror exercise and funnyhouse mirror exercise are excellent to establish contact and get the process going. In the funnyhouse mirror exercise one performer, the lead, does a simple real life activity such a brushing his teeth, while the partner grotesquely parodies the lead. In the conductor exercise the lead does only movements while the group “orchestra” does only sounds that correspond to those moves. The puppets exercise is the reverse of the conductor exercise. The lead make sounds, while the group functions as marionettes suspended by strings. Each sound from the lead elicits corresponding jerky moves from the group, as though the sounds are tugging on the strings. The worlds exercise is an opportunity for one performer to explore using all his personal Gestalt material, while a group uses all the improv techniques above to work with the lead in his “world”. Once each performer has done the worlds exercise, the last exercise in the series is the leaderless worlds exercise. Here each performer is both lead and follower. The entire group seeks to function as one group organism following “it”. Each one actively takes turns as the lead and then passively gives up being the lead in order to enter into the world of each of the others. The result is a profound active-passive state known by philosophers as the middle way and by performers as the pure process mode.

THE IDEA OF A THEATER

So far we have a combination of four different ways of working: (1) individual Gestalt work as preparation for artistic experience, (2) alienation techniques for distancing oneself from hot personal material, (3) group improvs to make the transition from therapy results to artistic results, and (4) initial work on characters that are as close to one’s centers as possible This mix guides a student through a powerful and totally natural, organic introduction to the art of the theater. Each performer remains within the personal world he has discovered during the dreamwork, while simultaneously expanding and then interweaving this world with the worlds of the other performers. In a sense this process develops the sort of ritualistic space found in “primitive” tribal societies. The artform is congruent with the lives of its participants, such as was likely the case when the small world of a Greek polis gave birth to the classical Greek tragedies which corresponded to the fantasies and personal actions of the members of the community. In “The Idea of a Theater”, Francis Fergusson contrasts that ideal ritualistic function of a theater with the theaters of today which in most cases have lost that organic relation between a community and its artforms. We have today lost the encompassing “idea of a theater”, and we have to settle for productions that present only what individual blind men can fathom of the entire elephant. Fergusson writes,

Drama can only flourish in a human sized scene, generally accepted as the focus of the life or awareness of its time, and such a focus no longer exists . . . We do not have a theater in the classic sense nor do we see how we could have one. But we may still study the cultural landmarks – the drama of Sophocles and Shakespeare, the Divine Comedy of Dante – in which the idea of a theater has been briefly realized, so we may learn to recognize and appreciate the fragmentary perspectives we do have; collecting the pieces, keeping the idea alive in the tentative, fallible, and suggestive light of analogy. FF225

What we especially have lost is exactly that which Gestalt dreamwork gives us back, the ability to know objects by identifying with them totally, and then to “say it with your whole body”. Here is how Antonin Artaud put it in “The Theater And Its Double”.

We cannot go on prostituting the idea of theater whose only value is in its excruciating, magical relation to reality and danger. “The Theater And Its Double”, 89. To our disinterested and inert idea of art an authentic culture opposes a violently egoistic and magical, i.e., interested idea. For the Mexicans seek contact with the Manas, forces latent in every form, unreleased by contemplation of the forms for themselves, but springing to life by magic identification with these forms. ibid., 11

Fergusson and Artaud use theatrical and philosophical jargon to say what Perls says in psychological jargon. Fergusson uses the term “histrionic sensibility” to mean “identify with the image and say it with your whole body”. Fergusson also uses Aristotle’s notion of “perception before predication” to refer to Perls’ notion of awareness before aboutism. First get in touch with reality and then judge it or add your comments about it.

ARISTOTLE AND FRITZ

Fergusson quotes Butcher’s translation of Aristotle’s “Poetics”.

The plot is the imitation of the action – for by plot I [Aristotle] here mean the arrangement of the incidents . . . But most important of all it is the structure of the incidents. For tragedy is an imitation not of men, but of an action and of life, and life consists in action and its end is a mode of action, not a quality . . . Tragedy, then, is an imitation of an action . . . through pity and fear effecting the proper purgation of these emotions . . . The plot, then, is the first principle and as it were the soul of a tragedy. FF229

In the preparatory Gestalt dreamwork which I do with each performer, oftentimes a 3-hour session concludes with a committed action, profound insight or “existential message of the dream”. This is the “ahah” moment of a strong gestalt. From the point of view of this final idea or action, everything that transpired previously during the 3-hour session leads up to and is encompassed by this experience of integration. Fritz tells clients to “identify with the coming solution” as an act of faith. This is Fritz’s version of Aristotle’s insight that what is actual is prior to what is merely potentially the case. The action, in other words, is somehow already unfolding from the beginning of the session, even though it does not emerge full blown till three hours later. This same notion Aristotle carried over into his notion of action in the theater as a form of poetic art. When he says “the plot is the imitation of the action” he is saying that the series of conflicts and resolutions that lead up to the final choice or revelation in a tragic action are in a certain way an imitation of that final insight or action. They imitate the action in the sense that they are analogous to it or correspond to it. The idea or action of the drama exists on an ideal, Platonic level of truth, to which the stage action can at best only correspond as a code or symbol. Theologically this amounts to saying that while man is made in the image of G-d, he is not G-d and only can seek to intuit how G-d operates and strive to manifest that process in his being and actions. To the extent that he succeeds in this ascent, the performer is serving in the role traditionally assigned to prophets. Contemporary visionaries of the theater such as Fergusson and Artaud will settle for nothing less than a theater which actualizes our prophetic potentiality.

CONCLUSION

Aristotle’s view of the plot as the imitation of an action justifies my use of the Gestalt dreamwork action (the peeling of the onion), as the basis for the theater process (the reconstituting of the onion as a tragic action). For the dreamwork events that unfold over the course of three hours are, in a sense, the plot of a tragedy that is a code, overlay or symbol for the overall action, idea, or existential message of the dreamwork session. I am transferring the plot and action of the dreamwork from the arena of healing to that of art. But it is only in our schizoid, “fallen”, fragmented, de-ritualized contemporary society that art and healing are separate events. Humpty Dumpty has fallen off the wall, and utopian, holistic philosophers such as Hegel seek to put Humpty-Dumpty back together again. For Hegel the arts, religion and philosophy are subdivisions of the encompassing realm of Absolute Spirit, and their common dialectical framework allows free movement of theory and practice from one discipline to the other. Gestalt therapy, which leads clients from cliches and habits towards the realm of pure thought (the existential message of the dream) by means of the creative use of imagery, has similar holistic aspirations. Hence Gestalt dreamwork lends itself perfectly to the sort of interdisciplinary manipulations required to allow it to serve as the foundation of a theater which embodies the prophetic vision of “the idea of a theater”. VIDEO OF BEL BACA’S WORK ON AWARENESS

VIDEO AND ESSAY BY FRANKLYN WEPNER, 2005 fwep@earthlink.net

VERBATIM NOTES OF THE SESSION ARE INCLUDED AT THE END OF THIS ESSAY.

(A) INTRODUCTION

This essay is a companion piece for two DVD’s which I video-ed in April 2005 and completed editing in November 2005. The DVD’s present two hours of gestalt work on “awareness” performed by a young actress named Bel Baca, who recently completed a B.A. in Theater at the University of Central Florida. My audience is primarily those who have seen those DVD’s, but I will try to make myself intelligible to those who have not seen them. The particular process which I am describing here is a way of working which I pioneered in 1975 and have been doing in basically the same manner ever since, first in New York, then in Philadelphia, then in Israel and now in Miami, Florida. Therefore, what you are reading here represents the fruit of 30 years experience. Going back further than that, Fritz Perls developed the techniques of Gestalt Therapy around 1950. Going back much further than that, according my own research I believe techniques very similar to these have been used for many many centuries in healing and religious practices all over the world, for example in the middle ages in Judaism and Christianity by priests and rabbis who were exorcizing demons and dybbuks – which we now label “introjects” or “projections”. And back in 500 B.C.E. Heraclitus and other philosophers already were writing about the logos (dialectic or word) and self-interruptions of the river of awareness (self-interruptions which we now label “anxiety” and “neurosis”). Gestalt work also has roots in traditions of meditative practices, such as concentrating on your breathing in a Zen monastery. “Meditation” in this sense means to stay in the here and now and deal objectively with whatever comes along in your experience as it is happening.

I am stressing the long history of this process since I want to make it clear from the beginning that I am not doing what nowadays is called “therapy”. The “therapy” thing is a recent invention. It implies a formal and legal agreement whereby somebody takes responsibility to guide the life of someone else according to the rules of a certain group of people who have set themselves up as an organization to grant credentials to its members. This “therapy” item, which then can be marketed as a commodity, brings great financial benefits to its practitioners, whether or not it has much value for the consumers who purchase it. Not being grounded in any world tradition of wisdom and morality and with little accountability except to members of the same clique, these moral entrepreneurs set themselves up as self-fashioned gods driving around in divine chariots powered by platinum credit cards rather than true ideas. In my work, on the other hand, I ask people to sign an agreement stating that we are not doing therapy at all. I inform them that I walked out of medical school in 1963 and was thrown out of social work school in 1974, that I am not a licensed therapist and that I am not at all taking responsibility for their lives. I call my colleagues performers and not patients. I tell people from the beginning not to trust me any more than they decide they want to as we go along in the process. In fact, their not trusting me is an important part of our work, as you saw in these DVD’s of my work with Bel Baca. As of this moment in December 2005, to date I have done this particular 10 hour series of one-on-one gestalt workshops with about 610 people over the past 30 years, i.e., a total of about 6200 hours, in addition to the other performer training techniques I have been using.

(B) BEL’S AWARENESS WORK

Let’s summarize now the first hour of Bel’s work, what I label her work on “unguided awareness”. During the first hour I did not “direct” the work since I wanted to learn where Bel is starting from, how she usually operates when she is on her own in new, unfamiliar surroundings. Bel from the outset showed us clearly how she operates. In a few minutes already we saw overall a pretty well defined pattern (“gestalt”) beginning to emerge: Bel tended to implode in on herself, work herself up to a hysterical state of tension and anxiety, and then rescue herself with some sort of escape fantasy image, all within 15 minutes! At the beginning of the session Bel had a certain amount of contact with the outer zone, balanced by some emphasis on the inner zone. But by the end of the first hour we saw that even after my feedback most of her attention went inside. Gestalt directors talk about the “holes” in a person’s awareness functioning or map. In Bel’s case where there could be eyes and ears we found at the outset – to a certain extent – holes instead. Especially we saw how she tends to avoid looking directly at people, me (her scene partner) in particular.

Let me be very specific about this. At the beginning Bel limited her contact with outer zone objects to only a few seconds, whereas she felt comfortable spending much time inside. Outside she saw general properties of objects which did not elicit much interest, while inside she zoomed into compelling details. Keeping her eyes half closed much of the time fit into this pattern. For example, until I pointed it out she did not pay much attention to colors or give time for associations and fantasies regarding objects in the environment. Also, she tended to restrain the natural progression from sensing an object to reaching out and touching that object. Being aware of feeling cold, for example, did not connect to reaching out for something warm to wear until I made the connection for her! I did not call her attention to the nasal outpouring which went on throughout most of the session, and so instead of a handkerchief or a piece of toweling which no doubt was available within 10 feet of where she was sitting in her own apartment, Bel used practically every surface of her hands to deal with the problem during the two hour video! This tendency to remain within her cocoon was especially evident when it came to dealing (or rather not dealing) with me, her scene partner. Usually she waited till I turned away to glance quickly in my direction, but then when I turned back in her direction she was back inside again. I have never seen a prairie dog, but I can imagine they must have developed similar survival techniques to deal with marauding wolves on the prairie.

According to Gestalt theory, people who do not see or hear are likely to fill the empty space with imagination in a non-creative, self-destructive manner by cranking out critical judgments of other people and at the same time projecting critical eyes out onto others. They then imagine that these others are judging them critically. This habitual pattern of behavior below the level of awareness, or what Eric Berne labeled a “game people play”, is harmful for an actress, since she ends up being so busy worrying about what the audience thinks of her work that she is distracted from identifying with the role. In Bel’s case in the DVD we saw, in a classic manner, how after about 5 minutes of work Bel had propelled herself into a state of anxiety and gloom. Instant tears! Along with the tears came shame, as the merciless projected eyes demanded that she be ashamed even of crying. Soon Bel was worried about not being attractive enough (to satisfy the projected critical eyes), and then her associations led her to pop singer Kelly Clarkson and the words of Clarkson’s song “Because of You”.

SONG: “BECAUSE OF YOU” BY KELLY CLARKSON, DAVID HODGES, BEN MOODY

I will not make the same mistakes that you did. I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery. I will not break the way you did. You fell so hard. I’ve learned the hard way to never let it get that far.

Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk. Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt. Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me. Because of you I am afraid.

I lose my way, and it’s not too long before you point it out. I cannot cry because I know that’s weakness in your eyes. I’m forced to fake a smile, a laugh, every day of my life. My heart can’t possibly break, when it wasn’t even whole to start with.

I watched you die. I heard you cry every night in your sleep. I was so young. You should have known better than to lean on me. You never thought of anyone else. You just saw your pain. And now I cry in the middle of the night, for the same damn thing. Because of you, because of you, because of you I am afraid.

Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk. Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt. Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything. Because of you I don’t know how to let anyone else in. Because of you I am ashamed of my life because it’s empty. Because of you I am afraid, because of you.

Notice how the words in bold type are the result of feeling judged by critical eyes and how they led Bel more and more away from the real world and into an imaginary world of self-disparagement. In that cramped cocoon space Bel feels helpless to deal with the alien world “out there”, out there where she is afraid even to look. But this is at first no problem, since once she gets lost inside Bel has plenty to keep herself busy. She never tires of concentrating on body awareness, the “ickyness” for example that she contacts in her “tummy”. Also, most of her body movements are relating herself to herself, such as holding her hands, twiddling her fingers, curling up in the chair, wrapping herself in a towel (security blanket) and manipulating small objects close to herself. She plays on her body and her breathing as though it is an accordion, going back and forth between constricting her breathing and relaxing it just enough to get some air. All this retroflection (tension and overcontrolling of her body) contributes to her anxiety and after a while we find Bel in a state of despair brooding about Marilyn Monroe’s suicide in Los Angeles at age 36. Shortly after our Gestalt session Bel moved to L. A., to “Hollywood and Vine”, and like Marilyn Monroe once did, Bel now is making the rounds of auditions. Apparently, like Sheri (the character Marilyn Monroe plays in the movie “Bus Stop”) Bel has a straight line “direction” leading right to Hollywood. Now that she is there, her ability to generate instant hysteria and tears is probably a great asset to her as an actress – so long as she does not take it all too personally and end up like Marilyn Monroe did. One other result of all this imploding is that by overcontrolling her breathing and not making much use of her ears Bel started out our session with a very limited range of physical and vocal expression. Her physical moves were general and vague rather than focused and specific, while her voice most of the time was a soft monotone.

But fortunately, Bel has a way out of the cocoon she spins around herself. Like Cinderella or like Princess Jasmine in Walt Disney’s musical Aladdin, Bel has a heart and a head full of rescue fantasies. Her favorite themes are floating, flying and breaking away, and since she is very musical these themes often enter her mind in the form of song lyrics of pop songs she knows – especially those of Kelly Clarkson. First, the imploding and despair spiral inward like a whirlpool, transporting Bel helplessly into a dark, melancholy void, and then – “it’s all so magical!” – along comes the rescue fantasy transporting her – once again passively – “out of the darkness and into the light”, like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon. In view of all these parallels in the action, I took the liberty in my DVD of inserting into the scenario a scene from Walt Disney’s version of Aladdin. Aladdin in this scene arrives on his magic carpet, rescues Princess Jasmine from the castle, and whisks her off to “a whole new world” of out-of-this-world vistas. As an actress Bel, in her emotional and fantasy life, certainly can capitalize on this cyclical roller coaster ride back and forth from self-generated melancholy to self-generated euphoria, so long as she does not lose control of the machine and succumb to despair herself.

(C) GENERAL SUMMARY OF BEL’S ENTIRE SESSION

What overall observations can we make? First of all we can say that the work “worked”. Bel was open to my direction and despite the monumental obstacle I gave her by putting a Canon XL-2 video camera, with its blinking red light, about 8 feet from her nose she seems to have gotten to some sort of closure during the work. In the language of Gestalt theory we can say that she accomplished a certain “action” during the two hours she spent with me in the here and now. There was a sense of moving forward in all the three zones of awareness, and also there emerged a fluid relationship between the three zones: (1) the outer zone of objects in the environment, (2) the inner zone of body awareness, and (3) the fantasy zone of daydream images. This fluidity of awareness zones reveals a potentially healthy and creative individual, whereas lack of movement between the zones would characterize a brittle, very limited schizoid (“split”) personality. Now I’m going to be more specific about Bel’s progress and add a bit of interpretation concerning what it all means. But don’t worry. In this brief essay I will not say much about the philosophy underlying my work. I won’t try to force feed you any particular philosophical or religious system. Of course, to me personally the theory of this work is very important. So if you are interested in hearing more about my take on the process, I hope you will check out some of the interpretive essays I have written where I look at the gestalt process from the perspective of various sects – secular and sacred. Getting back to general observations about Bel’s work, here are some prominent trends that I noticed that emerged during the two hours of work on awareness.

(1) Balancing the three zones of awareness leads to “the big picture”.

First of all, Bel managed to balance the three zones of awareness by bringing more outer zone focus and a rich fantasy zone experience into her work. In the fantasies she began with small objects that flitted by and then gradually expanded her range to deal in a sustained manner with a particular person (Marilyn Monroe). Finally, she focused on an image of a kitten in some depth. At first Bel’s attitude toward other objects and creatures was distant and defensive, but by the end of the session she reached out, touched and acknowledged feeling a need for contact with others. At the end she said, “I need to be closer to people, so I can share a loving feeling.” In terms of the theory of drama developed by Aristotle and elaborated by Fergusson in “The Idea of a Theater”, we can say that this was an opening action and a reaching out for warmth and love, like the action of a flower when the sun shines in the morning. This need to open and reach out for love was, as Stanislavki would have called it, Bel’s “superobjective” in this tragedy. The character Sheri in Bus Stop and the character Blanche in “Streetcar Named Desire” share a similar superobjective. But while Bel and Sheri succeed in overcoming the obstacles and completing the action, Blanche does not succeed in overcoming the obstacles. Blanche is driven back even further inside herself to psychosis by overwhelming environmental factors – especially the obstacles imposed by character Stanley. Why would Aristotle or Stanislavski call the completed action of Bel or Sheri a “tragedy”? Because in some sense the main character undergoes a death and rebirth of ego, or discovers a new point of view about life. The non-contactful insect style ego which needs to spin a cocoon in order to survive in an alien environment must die, we might say, in order that the human child can be born into a loving world inhabited by other human beings, just like so many classical Greek tragedy heroes need to die in order to fulfil their dramatic function.

(2) Good contact results in a wider range of physical and vocal expression.

Another area where Bel demonstrated much progress was in physical expression. Contacting and then finding the voice of each body part led to excellent results. This carried over also into vocal expression. At first she was stuck in a soft monotone, but later she began – to some extent – to vary the pitch, dynamics and tempo. She did this not merely technically like a virtuoso musician, but contactfully in response to here and now momentary concrete physical and emotional needs. In her own life and as an actress this is a technique she also can apply to vocal readings to keep her audience from falling asleep – if she is willing to risk that!

(3) Bel moves from having abstract “ideas about the scene” to living concretely here and now in the moments.

As Bel balanced the outer, inner and fantasy zones of awareness, there was a shift from regarding herself as an ego style Self, a Self with a capital “S”, a Self which is a large precious thing that needs to be protected, towards a non-ego self, a self with a small “s”, a self which is merely a process of exploring and discovering reality. The Self with its deliberate “ideas about the scene”, such as “I am going to die one day” and “don’t you dare to reach out and touch strangers”, yielded to a less rigid “self as process” which could risk surrendering to the circumstances of each moment. The shift from Self as thing to self as process was an important result of Bel’s work today. We saw how this shift of point of view towards that of “the big picture” was, paradoxically, the result of dealing with tiny details of her experience. Her “faith in a grain of mustard seed” (each moment of concrete awareness) was rewarded by holistic progress as she became more and more grounded in reality. Like Sheri in “Bus Stop”, she discarded her childish rulebook with its rigid principles, and grasped more holistic ideas, such as “the whole is greater than the sum of the parts” and “a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” (of good contact). She discovered that in this wider frame of reference she could find her own support, her own grounding. Being more grounded in reality helped her to deal with the gloom that led to crying at the beginning of the session. As more and more moments of good contact converged into a rich encompassing contact boundary, she no longer had the need to implode into hysterical emotions and a sense of helpless despair.

(4) The “rhythm of contact and withdrawal” leads Bel to an overall action or idea of the session, a “superobjective”.

Aside from basic work on awareness itself, the major structural component of Gestalt work is known as “the rhythm of contact and withdrawal”. By “contact” in this context is meant awareness of specific objects such that one can say “I see that” or “I hear that”. By withdrawal is meant ceasing the “contact” experience and, one might say, “getting lost” without any specific focus. Usually this implies closing one’s eyes, going into one’s body awareness and allowing a daydream to percolate up from the “fertile void”. The new image oftentimes gives rise to personal associations to events from one’s life, especially events involving close family relationships in childhood. The Gestalt director then can guide the performer in an exploration of unfinished business involving that relationship. This all happens in the here and now, without stopping to analyze or talk about what is happening. The performer relives the important event as though it is happening in present time, putting himself in one chair and the other person in the other and going back and forth play acting the roles and the dialogue. One cycle of the rhythm of contact and withdrawal constitutes one “beat” of the underlying (dialectical) logic of the dramatic action. During today’s session on awareness I led Bel back and forth between the contact stage and the withdrawal stage, through several beats of the action. I do much more of this sort of work during the second and third sessions, where acting out the dream images and dialogues between them deepens the experience. During the first session on awareness I merely ask the performer to shuttle between outer zone and inner zone awareness and give an opportunity for daydreams to emerge along the way.

An indication of how well Bel’s work progressed today is the lovely manner in which each cycle of the rhythm of contact and withdrawal led her organically on to the next step and onto the superobjective in what turned out to be the final leap of the series. It was as though a higher or deeper force was propelling the inner logic that was unfolding from the outset. Why did it appear “as though” this was occuring? Answer: because it actually was occuring. There was, “in truth”, a higher or deeper force propelling the inner logic that was unfolding from the outset. This, again, is what Stanislavsi means by the word “superobjective”. Hence, we can see how dumb it is for actors and directors to expect to grasp the superobjective of a major tragic (or comic) action merely by fooling around with literary minutia or intricate cerebral analyses of a script. Even Brecht demanded that actors first contact their superobjectives before adding on layers of formalist devices and alienation effects to the acting score. Clever shticks, virtuoso technique, literary and intellectual erudition, and “knowing the business” certainly are important in the theater, but an actor (or dancer or singer or poet, etc.) who is floating on the surface of his life in a dinghy full of shticks, information and aboutism is merely paddling aimlessly on the great ocean when it comes to organizing these surface details into a coherent, credible artistic action (Aristotle) or idea (Plato). Rather, an actor needs to discover as many of his own centers as possible, and harness the powers of the great ocean (or whatever you would like to call it in your own cultural context) for his own purposes and the needs of his art. Later stages of this gestalt theater process attempt to do just that. My essays present my own particular way of finding a cultural context for this work within Judaism.

(5) The series of withdrawal images reveals the beats of the action, the “acts” of Bel’s tragedy (or comedy).

I will go through the series of withdrawal images with you now, so you can see exactly what I mean by the beats of a dramatic action or superobjective. At the same time, as we examine the content of the images we will notice that other changes also were happening in a way that moved the process more and more profoundly along the banks of an underlying river. At the beginning Bel’s images were fleeting, but they became more and more sustained and developed as the focus of her fantasy zone increased. Another gradual shift was from images that served passively as a release from despair to images that involved committed actions that Bel undertook as part of her existential, or some might say “spiritual”, attempt to grow. Let’s take these images one at a time.

Image 1: the song “Because of You”

During her work on unguided awareness Bel is quite proficient at talking herself into a quagmire of tension and despair. Soon she ends up feeling helpless and judged by critical eyes. Then suddenly pops into her head the Kelly Clarkson song “Because Of You”. Miraculously, Bel finds some release from her sense of constriction and helplessness. How does this happen? Certainly the words of the song are not all that cheerful and full of hope. My hypothesis is that suddenly Bel shifts her way of thinking from subjectivity (worrying about causes and effects) to objectivity (dealing with life here and now in a meditative manner). The strong image gives her here and now an objective contact boundary, a strong “gestalt” (pattern, focused idea) to grasp. This releases her from cause and effect style anticipations of painful judgments and imminent catastrophes which might occur in the future. “If”, for example, “I do not lose weight or get my lines just right (the cause), then soon people will see me as uninteresting (effect number one) or unattractive (effect number two), and then . . . (effect number three, etc.)!” But now, by involving herself in actually hearing the tune in her head, Bel frees herself from self-interruptions (projections, introjects, demons, etc.). She no longer is possessed. She now is able to use her mind and body in a natural human way to restore balance and homeostasis. Bel relaxes her muscles and soon she is breathing freely and concentrating on the task at hand, contacting the three zones of awareness.

Image 2: passively floating and flying away on a magic carpet

Next, as she begins to discover the power of this new awareness technique, Bel says “I am picturing myself flying”. The first time the flying image occurs it is merely a fleeting notion, but the image comes back a little later in a more developed form, and Bel now is able to sustain the focus and see herself lying on her back on the carpet, with her arms outstretched in the shape of what she calls a “cross”, passively floating out the window and flying through the air. Nevertheless, the image still is a relatively weak one. For example, there was no music accompanying the image. After the session I asked Bel if she had any musical associations to the image. What came to her mind was the Walt Disney musical animation “Aladdin”. But during the work itself Bel did not volunteer any particular musical background. Here is the text of the song Aladdin sings to Princess Jasmine as he whisks her on his magic carpet out of her palace and into a magical new world. I see this song as being entirely appropriate to Bel’s state of mind as it appears to me to be at this moment in her work.Therefore, I have taken the liberty of interjecting both the song and the magic carpet ride visual track that accompanies it in the Disney flick into my DVD’s of Bel’s work. Since my intent here is helping people to grow, and not to make a profit, I hope this use of the Disney clip falls under the heading “fair use”.

SONG: “I CAN SHOW YOU THE WORLD” FROM WALT DISNEY’S MUSICAL “ALADDIN”

ALADDIN: I can show you the world; shining, shimmering, splendid. Tell me, Princess, now when did you last let your heart decide? I can open your eyes, take you wonder by wonder, over, sideways and under on a magic carpet ride. A whole new world, a new fantastic point of view. No one to tell us “no”, or where to go, or say we’re only dreaming.

JASMINE: A whole new world, a new fantastic point of view. A dazzling place I never knew. But when I’m way up here it’s crystal clear that now I’m in a whole new world with you.

ALADDIN: Now I’m in a whole new world with you.

JASMINE: Unbelievable sights, indescribable feeling. Soaring, tumbling, we’re weaving through an endless diamond sky. A whole new world.

ALADDIN: Don’t you dare close your eyes!

JASMINE: A hundred thousand things to see.

ALADDIN: Hold your breath. It gets better. JASMINE: I’m like a shooting star. I’ve come so far. I can’t go back to where I used to be.

ALADDIN: A whole new world.

JASMINE: Every turn a surprise.

ALADDIN: With new horizons to perceive.

JASMINE: Every moment gets better.

BOTH: I’ll chase them anywhere. There’s time to spare. Let me share this whole new world with you.

ALADDIN: A whole new world.

JASMINE: A whole new world.

ALADDIN: That’s where we’ll be.

JASMINE: That’s where we’ll be.

ALADDIN: A thrilling chase.

JASMINE: A wondrous place.

BOTH: For you and me.

JASMINE: (spoken) It’s all so magical. ALADDIN: (spoken) Yeah.

Image 3: actively flying and breaking away with her own wings

A crucial parameter we need to monitor in regard to these daydream images is the extent to which the performer is actively involved rather than being a mere passive victim of circumstances. So far Bel’s imagination is becoming stronger, but at the same time so far these images of floating and flying still have Bel casting herself in the role of passive recipient of energies from forces outside herself. But soon another “flying away” image emerges, and this time Bel herself takes responsibility for the action. She daydreams the melody and words of another Kelly Clarkson song, “Break Away”.

SONG: “BREAK AWAY” by M. GERRARD, B. BENANTE, & A. LAVIGNE

Grew up in a small town, and when the rain would fall down I’d just stare out my window. Dreamin’ of what could be, and if I’d end up happy, I would pray, trying hard to reach out. But when I tried to speak out, felt like no one could hear me. Wanted to belong here, but something felt so wrong here, so I prayed I could break away.

I’ll spread my wings and I’ll learn how to fly. I’ll do what it takes till I touch the sky, and I’ll make a wish, take a chance, make a change and break away.

Out of the darkness and into the sun, but I won’t forget all the ones that I love. Want to feel the warm breeze, sleep under a palm tree. I’ll make a wish, take a chance, make a change and break away.

Feel the rush of the ocean, get onboard a fast train, travel on a jet plane, far away and break away. Buildings with a hundred floors, swinging round revolving doors, maybe I don’t know where they’ll take me, but gotta keep movin’ on, movin’ on, fly away, break away.

I’ll spread my wings and I’ll learn how to fly, though it’s not easy to tell you goodbye. I got to make a wish, take a chance, make a change and break away. Out of the darkness and into the sun, but I won’t forget the place I come from. I got to make a wish, take a chance, make a change and break away, break away, break away.

This time Bel herself is having thoughts of actively breaking away from her past and moving on to new adventures – though not without a certain need to hang onto her roots in the past. Her past she now sees as “darkness” and the freedom she is craving is the opposite, “light”. Jet planes and buildings with 100 floors are strong attractions to a young actress who is on the verge of pulling up stakes in Florida and heading for the big time in L.A. Also, here we have music with a strong personal connection for Bel. The song articulates two of Bel’s urgent needs: “I’ll spread my wings and I’ll learn how to fly. I’ll do what it takes till I touch the sky.” To breathe and think freely and to reach out to touch and find love are two objectives which are crucial components of Bel’s superobjective, two parts of the emerging whole. In terms of the overall tragic/comic action of this two hour gestalt session, we can say that we now are in Act Two of a five act drama. Bel now has a clear objective: to break away into the light. Her obstacles are the forces or demons symbolized by what she regards as “darkness” and “because of you”. The action still is far from complete.

Image 4: Marilyn Monroe as symbol of deep personal conflicts

It is only in the next image, that of Marilyn Monroe in “The Seven Year Itch”, that finally we have a fully human situation linking specific imagery and emotional needs. This is Act Three of Bel’s tragicomedy, and it is no longer just an adolescent cartoon scenario. Now the obstacle (“to disparage myself into a colossal flop”) seriously confronts the objective (“to overinflate myself into a superstar”). Bel is moving the action towards an X/-X impasse, a “stuck point” crisis in Act Four. At first Bel can identify superficially with Marilyn Monroe as a happy and attractive star, but soon depressing and ugly thoughts of Marilyn’s suicide at age 36 in L.A. intrude and turn the Hollywood dream into a nightmare with which Bel will not identify. From the point of view of her conflict and resultant misery at this point of the action, Bel concludes that the main thing, what she really wants, is “just to be happy”. This certainly is a superobjective that seems to resolve the conflict, but actually this superobjective is only a vague and abstract “idea about the scene”. Identifying with such an objective as “to be happy” is merely playing a quality of pumped up hysteria. The objective “to be happy” does not imply a series of specific concrete beats that can be used to articulate the action, either as Bel Baca or as any character Bel may want to play in her career as an actress. Marilyn Monroe herself plays a similarly muddled aspiring actress in “Bus Stop”. The character Sheri at first is fixated on getting to L.A. at all costs, for the relatively superficial goals of “getting some respect” and attaining lots of success and happiness. But by the end of the movie Sheri resigns herself to dealing with the specific circumstances occasioned by her new relationship with a young man named Beau. Sheri decides that despite all the obstacles it entails from the point of view of her initial program of being a superstar, the prospect of marriage, security and concrete here/now satisfaction with this specific person named Beau affords her a stronger objective than does the vague spectral lure of “Hollywood and Vine”. Sheri rips up the abstract roadmap which till then had been a rigid “story of my life”, an “idea about the scene”, and now she identifies with this emerging new concrete love relationship which here and no is giving her a rich, vital contact experience.

Image 5: a kitten as a love object safe to reach out and touch

Bel herself does not deal with a similar conflict until the next and final image of her session, the image of a blue-eyed very furry kitten. The content of this image is much less dazzling than either the Hollywood studio scene or the life of Marilyn Monroe, but what is new here is no less important in the deeper logic of Bel’s existence. For now, for the first time, Bel is no longer only a passive victim of tragic circumstances. She is no longer breaking away blindly in the manner of a teenie bopper. Rather, as a mature woman Bel now is reaching out to another living creature (be it merely a kitten or a grain of mustard seed) with full contact and emotional involvement. How does Bel feel about the kitten? “I love it”, she says.

The parallel to the “Bus Stop” movie is striking. When near the end of the movie Sheri’s lover “Beau” tries to grab her in the way men have been grabbing her since she was age 12, Sheri takes charge of her life and demands that “this time it should be different”, not just being grabbed as an object of someone else’s lust. Beau has a similar revelation when he discovers that “kissing someone for serious is scary”, scary because it involves authentic contact with another human being and not just blindly grabbing an object you plan to make use of. Like Sheri, who chooses motherhood over L.A., Bel associates reaching out and touching the kitten to holding her sister’s baby. The mothering/loving feeling soon generalizes and by the end of the session Bel feels a need to reach out to people in general in a loving way. Perhaps soon Bel will move beyond an either/or conflict in this area towards a higher integration of the opposite sides, but for now the issues are only just emerging into consciousness. Along with this new perspective on life comes a mild explosion into joy and optimism about her life as she anticipates the long journey that “begins with a single step”. This is Act Five, the denouement, of Bel’s drama, at least on the deeper (or higher) level of the superobjective. We do not have enough current information from Bel to know how this existential action is translating into specific events of her life as it is unfolding now at “Hollywood and Vine” in Los Angeles.

(D) CONCLUSION

If we look now for general technical terms to summarize Bel’s existential journey during our two hours of work, we can say there was a transition from imploding to exploding, from closing in on oneself to opening out to the universe. The session ended with what Gestalt people label a mild “explosion into authentic joy”, a shift from gloom to a mild euphoria, as energy tied up in tensing herself and imploding herself became available for living life creatively. This was a mini-satori or enlightenment experience. The implosion process was reversed merely by tuning into the larger context or envelope of here and now experience, the context of life itself. We did not need analytically to meddle with specific events in Bel’s childhood or present life. True, in later dreamwork sessions which Bel one day may undertake there would be a place for zeroing in on actual dream images, past relationships and unfinished business, but these individual events are in Gestalt work usually integrated into larger and larger envelopes as a performer or pilgrim gets more and more grounded in the contact boundary and reality itself. Each new conflict along the way leads to its own resolution on a higher level by means of a certain kind of deeper (higher) logic that goes by many names depending upon the point of view of the person doing the theorizing: induction (versus deduction), ascent (on the right side of the tree of life), translation (moving up Jacob’s ladder of angels), identifying with the coming solution (Gestalt), the final cause (Aristotle), return to origin via anamnesis (Plato), etc. And so we find that there is no way to avoid dealing with philosophical and religious matters in this work. Secular philosophers talk about how the two sides of a conflict – the thesis and the antithesis – get incorporated into a higher level idea called the synthesis. This way of thinking is known as dialectical thinking, and it forms the basis of most philosophical and religious traditions in the world, east and west. Religious leaders, such as Maimonides or St.Thomas, developed their own vocabularies to deal dialectically with the traditions of their own communities. For example, if we want to use the philosophical framework of Aristotle or Maimonides we could spell out Bel’s series of beats as an ascent from conflicted lower, smaller spheres, envelopes or heavens towards encompassing higher and broader spheres of the universe. But I promised not to force feed philosophy or religion in this account. For those who find pondering deep causes of things to be more trouble than it is worth, and for that reason will “pass” on my other essays, this, then, may be the end of our shared journey. I’ll conclude this essay now by quoting what Bel had to say about this session when a month or so later I asked her for a “reference”. She sent me the following email from L.A. “Be open to a Gestalt session and you’ll be amazed. I’d personally recommend Franklyn’s Gestalt work to everyone, whether you have a personal emotion or issue you want to work on, or not. Franklyn used this technique in showing me my own awareness paradigm, which in turn helped me in all aspects of my life, including my acting. It served to give me more emotional freedom and helped me grasp the power I have to influence my thoughts, emotions and hence my decisions. Bel Baca, actress, Los Angeles, California, September 2005.”

BEL BACA: AWARENESS CONTINUUM MY NEAR VERBATIM NOTES TAKEN DURING THE WORK

APRIL 17, 2005. THIS SESSION WAS CONDUCTED IN BEL’S APARTMENT. THERE WERE NO OBSERVERS. THE PRESENCE OF HER ROOMMATE MOVING ABOUT OUTSIDE THE ROOM MAY HAVE AFFECTED BEL’S SENSE OF PRIVACY. THE VIDEO CAMERA WAS LEFT RUNNING BY ITSELF THROUGHOUT THE WORK. WE HAD AGREED BEFOREHAND THAT I WOULD TAKE THE TAPE WITH ME AT THE END OF THE SESSION.

UNGUIDED AWARENESS: ONE HOUR

B: Now I am aware of cool air. My feet are on the ground. I’m aware of my tummy, ’cause I just ate. You want physical things? F: No questions allowed. B: I’m aware of seeing you all in blue. Now I’m aware of feeling a little anxious ’cause I’ve never done this. I’m aware of my center. My stomach is anxious. You want more? I feel I have energy, but also my energy is zapped. I feel that often. TWIDDLING HER FINGERS. LONG PAUSE. I’m aware that my eyes look red. I have an irritation. It’s from soap. SHE SPENDS MUCH TIME LOOKING DOWN AT THE FLOOR. I’m aware of feeling icky. I don’t know why. SLIGHT SMILE. Like I want to cry. SHE CRIES, SNIVELS. IN GENERAL MUCH OF THE TIME BEL’S EYES ARE HALF OPEN. Now I’m aware of feeling embarrassed that I cried. EXHALES DEEPLY, AFTER HOLDING HER BREATH A WHILE. AS A GENERAL PATTERN, I NOTICE THAT BEL SEEMS TO PLAY HER BREATH LIKE AN ACCORDION, HOLDING IT AND THEN RELEASING IT WITHOUT BEING VERY AWARE OF HOW THIS OVERCONTROLLING GENERATES A STATE OF PHYSICAL TENSION AND AN ACCOMPANYING SENSE OF ANXIETY. SHE LEANS FORWARD AND LAUGHS. NOW HER EYES ARE ALMOST CLOSED. I’m aware of thinking it’s funny that I cried. DEEP BREATH. I’m aware of feeling constricted, because I’m feeling stuck in my body. F: I AM CONCERNED LEST SHE WORK HERSELF UP INTO A STATE OF HYSTERIA, BUT I WOULD RATHER NOT INVERVENE. I AM HOPING THAT SHE WILL WORK HER WAY OUT OF THIS IMPLODING. Let me know if you need help. In the meantime go on with what you are aware of. B: LONG PAUSE I’m aware of the beautiful trees outside, blowing in the wind. I’m aware that I’m a human being, that I’m mortal and that I’ll die someday. That makes me feel helpless. I’m looking at my finger nails. Now I’m aware of the taste of this nail polish. It’s not good. I’m aware of feeling a little drowsy. I’m aware of the stress I’m putting on my toes. SHE IS PRESSING THEM AGAINST THE RUG. HER NOSE IS DRIPPING NONSTOP, WITH OCCASIONAL DROPS HANGING FROM THE END OF HER NOSE. I’m aware that I’m too aware of bodily feelings as opposed to higher concepts and ideas. MUCH SNIVELING. I’m aware that I probably have fears and anxieties that I need to release. OVERALL: MUCH HOLDING AND THEN RELEASING OF HER BREATH. I’m aware that I’m distrusting of myself and of others in life sometimes. F: I NOTICE THAT BEL MOST OF THE TIME AVOIDS LOOKING DIRECTLY AT ME. WHEN I TURN BACK TO HER AFTER LOOKING AWAY, SHE QUICKLY TURNS AWAY FROM LOOKING DIRECTLY AT ME. B: I’m aware that I’m hoping this exercise will help me in some way. PAUSE. I’m aware that I have a song playing in my head. F: What song is it? B: “Because Of You”. I’m aware that I took a deep breath. That felt good. I’m aware that I’m very conscious of how I look, my body image.

FEEDBACK: AT THIS POINT I STOPPED BEL’S AWARENESS WORK AND GAVE HER FEEDBACK. I WENT OVER ALL OF MY NOTES, POINTING OUT WHAT WOULD BE CONSIDERED TO BE “AWARENESS” ACCORDING TO GESTALT THEORY AND WHAT WOULD BE CONSIDERED TO BE SOME OTHER SORT OF FUNCTIONING, SUCH AS JUDGMENTS, PROJECTIONS AND AVOIDANCES. I POINT OUT THAT SHE IS AVOIDING CONTACTING HER “SCENE PARTNER”, WHO IN THIS CASE IS ME. BEL TOOK A FEW MINUTES TO REPLAY THE VIDEO TO SEE HOW WE LOOK DOING THE WORK. THEN WE RESUMED THE UNGUIDED AWARENESS EXERCISE.

B: LONG PAUSE. I’m aware of my face being itchy. I’m aware of you looking at me. AS A MATTER OF FACT, AT THE MOMENT SHE SAID THIS I WAS NOT ACTUALLY LOOKING AT HER. I’m aware of feeling more relaxed. I’m aware of some kind of sound outside. Cars maybe. I’m aware of your shirt. It says “Martin Guitars, Established 1833”. Now I’m aware of feeling tired. I’m yawning. SHE IS TOUCHING HER FACE QUITE A BIT. I’m aware that I’m sniveling. I’m aware that I’m more relieved. I’m aware that I am self-conscious, that I am annoyed that I’m sniffling a lot. BEL LOOKS DIRECTLY AT ME FOR PERHAPS THE FIRST TIME. LONG PAUSE. I see that you’re wearing glasses and white sox. They look clean. SHE CONTINUES LOOKING AT ME AS I WRITE, BUT WHEN I LOOK UP AT HER SHE QUICKLY LOOKS AWAY. SHE YAWNS. HER VOICE IS SO FAR AN UNEXPRESSIVE MONOTONE MOST OF THE TIME. I’m aware that my nails are pretty. I’m aware that my eyes might be half closed, that I’m smiling and that my shoulders feel sore. I’m aware that I am happy that I am doing this exercise. Now I’m aware that the fan is spinning. I’m aware that last night’s show may not have gone well. I was too much in my head. BEL IS AN ACTRESS PERFORMING THE LEAD ROLE AT A LOCAL THEATER EACH NIGHT THIS WEEK. I’m aware of how this bracelet feels on my arm. I’m aware that I am sniffling and that I am touching this bracelet. HER CURLED UP POSITION IN THE CHAIR HAS NOT CHANGED FOR A WHILE. I’m picturing myself flying. I’m looking at that purple back massager IT IS GLASS, ON A TABLE ACROSS THE ROOM. It is very pretty. Now I am picturing what it would be like to touch that piece of paper you are writing on. YAWNS. I’m aware that I just yawned. WITH HER LEGS STILL CURLED UP ON THE CHAIR SHE STRETCHES HER ARMS OVER HER HEAD. I’m aware that I’m stretching. Your pen is an interesting shade of blue. I’m aware of feeling uncomfortable in this chair. I’m aware that I’m trying to keep my eyes more open. RATHER THAN FOCUSING ON OUTER ZONE DETAILS SHE IS FOCUSING ON KEEPING HER EYES OPEN. I’m aware of blue circles on the file box. WHEN I LOOK AWAY BEL LOOKS AT ME. I’m aware that I’m a little tired. I’m aware of what that blanket feels like. SHE DOES NOT GO OVER AND TOUCH IT. I’m aware of how my toes look. I’m aware of your thing holding down your hat, your berette. I AM WEARING A JEWISH STYLE SKULL CAP. BEL IS CHRISTIAN. I’m aware of your curly hair, that your shoes look like they are made of suede leather. SHE MOVES HER TOES UP AND DOWN A FEW TIMES. I’m aware that I am thinking. I am aware that my forehead is probably wrinkled right now. I DO NOT SEE ANY WRINKLES THERE.

AT THIS POINT I STOPPED HER WORK, SO THAT I WOULD AGAIN HAVE TIME TO GIVE FEEDBACK BEFORE THE END OF THE FIRST HOUR. I REVIEWED MY NOTES WITH HER, POINTING OUT WHAT WAS AWARENESS AND WHAT WAS NOT AWARENESS ACCORDING TO THE GESTALT POINT OF VIEW. BREAK: 5 MINUTES

GUIDED AWARENESS: 1 1/2 HOURS

OUTER ZONE

B: I’m aware that I’m holding my hands. I’m aware that I am cold. F: What can you do about being cold? B: TAKES BRIGHTLY COLORED TOWEL TO WRAP AROUND HERSELF. CELL PHONE RINGS. I’m aware of my phone making noises. WIND BLOWS THE DOOR WITHIN ITS FRAME SO IT MAKES A THUD. The door made a noise. F: That’s the outer zone. Stay there a while. B: I’m aware of the green of that shelf. It’s a 70’s green. It feels smooth. BUT SHE DOESN’T GO OVER TO TOUCH IT. My nails are black. My bracelet is made of brown wood. I’m aware that I’m on camera being filmed. F: What do you actually see when you look at the camera? B: I see the red light blinking. F: Describe the camera. B: I see a microphone. F: A “microphone” is a complex idea. It’s not something you actually contact. Be like an aboriginal who looks at a camera for the first time. Describe the microphone. B: It’s a black object. It’s circular and long. It looks like it’s soft. F: Go and touch it. B: TOUCHING THE MIC. It’s not as soft as I had imagined.

THROUGHOUT THIS SESSION IN BEL’S APARTMENT I MYSELF AM AWARE OF THE SMELL OF CIGARETTE SMOKE SEEPING UNDER HER DOOR. HER ROOMMATE, WHO ALSO IS HER SISTER, SMOKES. WHEN AT THE END OF THE SESSION I MENTIONED THAT SMELL, BEL SAID THAT SHE IS SO USED TO THE SMELL SHE NO LONGER EVEN SMELLS IT.

INNER ZONE

F: OK, now let’s shift over to working on the inner zone. Close your eyes. What are you aware of now in your body? B: I’m uncomfortable in my gut. Maybe it’s anxiety. It’s my tummy. I can tell you why. F: No, not “why”. Just tell me “what”. What’s going on in your stomach? B: I’m uncomfortable with myself. F: That’s an abstract idea. What is going on physically? Does it feel like hunger? B: No. F: Do you sense something moving there? B: No. Now I’m letting myself breathe. I feel better. I’m aware that my shoulders are hunched. HER FINGERS ARE IN A FIST. F: Go into that. Hunch up some more, and make noise, like this. Squeeze your fingers also. I DEMONSTRATE HOLDING MY BREATH AND SQUEEZING, IMPLODING WHILE I BLOCK THE SOUND SO IT CANNOT COME OUT FREELY. B: FOLLOWS MY EXAMPLE AND CURLS UP ON THE CHAIR. F: The toes too. Curl your toes also. Now relax. Very good. When you are ready open your eyes and come outside.

OUTER ZONE

B: OPENS HER EYES. F: What’s your reaction now to coming outside into the outer zone? B: I want to go back inside. F: What is there that you need? B: I don’t know. F: What are you aware of now outside? B: The green cabinet. It has rungs in front, rectangular, like bamboo. And it has a handle that looks like a pinapple. It’s yellow, tilted. F: Good. Now that you see it, let’s go onto the next step. Do you have any associations when you look at it. Maybe it reminds you of something, or whatever. B: It reminds me of when I painted it. If I picked it up it would be heavy. Inside it are videos and jewelry. What do you mean by associations? F: It could be anything: memories, judgments, images, comments. B: Like I could imagine little midgets jumping on it? F: Right. That’s called “creative thinking”. You go from objectivity to subjectivity, not the other way around. If you do it the other way around it’s psychotic thinking. Like maybe you imagine somebody is out to get you and you don’t bother actually to see the person at all. OK, let’s go back to the inner zone again. This is called the rhythm of contact and withdrawal. The contact part is the outer zone and the withdrawal part is going back into your body and the void inside.

INNER ZONE

F: Close your eyes now. First of all, are you comfortable in your body? Any tension? B: I’m not comfortable. My thighs are sore from doing some exercises. If I stretch I’ll feel better. SHE STANDS AND STRETCHES, BUT KEEPS HER MOUTH TIGHTLY SHUT AND EMITS NO SOUND AT ALL. F: What was missing that time? The sound. Would you mind doing it again, but this time add the sound. Do it harder and open your mouth and throat. Let all the parts of your body find a voice. Move your fingers. How does that change the sound? Listen to the sounds. Now your hips. Now your toes. Good.

GRADUALLY SHE ESCAPES FROM THE FROZEN VOCAL MONOTONE SHE HAS BEEN IN MOST OF THE SESSION SO FAR. HER VOICE BECOMES MUCH MORE EXPRESSIVE.

F: Sit down again, please, and close your eyes again. Now we are going to work on the third zone of awareness, the fantasy zone. So far you haven’t used your imagination much today. If you don’t mind I’d like you to do a daydream. Go on a trip or imagine something. Take your time. You’re free to censer, but the more you share the more material we have to work with. B: I’m imagining I’m lying on my carpet, touching it with my fingers. Then I have my arms spread out like a cross and I float off the floor. I float through the walls and out the window. It’s like I’m flying. I land on the roof. I can see the road outside. F: If the daydream was a movie can you imagine any kind of music that would go with the movie? B: I am imagining a song, “Break Away” by Kelly Parkstone. F: Can you sing it? B: SHE SINGS THE SONG SOFTLY WITH HER EYES CLOSED AT FIRST. F: Keep your eyes mostly closed and stand up. Dance along with the singing. Find a sound that comes from each body part. Make the sounds as different as possible. High sounds, low sounds, fast sounds, slow sounds, loud sounds, soft sounds. Good. Now zero in on a few key words of the song and drone them over and over. Trip on them and see how they develop. B: SINGS REPETITIVELY ” . . . out of the darkness into the light . . . fly away and break away . . .”

OUTER ZONE

B: I burped. SHE CLOSELY EXAMINES ONE OF HER HAIRS. This hair is split in half. I just ripped it apart. It blew on me. Now I am aware of the red camera light blinking. That light THE CEILING LIGHT WITH FAN ATTACHED TO IT has a string hanging from it. SHE FOCUSES ON A SMALL “FAIRY” SHAPED DOLL ACROSS THE ROOM. The little fairy has feathers blowing on her head. There is a string hanging from her. I can picture touching that. F: Go over and touch it. B: It felt nice: hard, solid. F: Now that you really saw it and contacted it, do you have any associations or thoughts or judgments about it? B: Once I played a character that takes pleasure in little things. I wish I could be like that. She was not just concerned with herself. She lives each moment. F: That is what I call “creative thinking”. First you contacted the doll and then you got associations about it.

INNER ZONE

F: Now we’re beginning to get some integration of outer zone awareness and fantasy zone awareness. Let’s keep going with the rhythm of contact and withdrawal. Close your eyes and go inside one more time. Are you comfortable in your body? B: Yes. INSTEAD OF CURLING UP ON THE CHAIR BEL NOW IS SITTING UP STRAIGHT WITH HER FEET ON THE FLOOR IN FRONT OF HER. SHE APPEARS TO BE MUCH MORE RELAXED THAN UP TILL NOW. APPARENTLY SHE NO LONGER IS CONSTRICTING HER BREATHING. F: Try another daydream. Take your time. B: I see an image of Marilyn Monroe. She has red glittery shoes and smooth legs. She’s wearing her famous white dress, tightened on the waist. Her arms are straight. She has red fingernails. I see her collar bones. F: What’s your reaction to seeing this image? Is it pleasant or unpleasant? B: Pleasant. She seems happy. She’s smiling. She has pretty teeth and lips. F: What can you say about how this image relates to you? B: She seems happy but also sad. I know she ended up killing herself. F: Do you have any associations when you think about the image? B: I don’t know if I want to share them. BEL CRIES. SHE OPENS HER EYES. F: You have a right to censer and protect your privacy, but is there anything you feel you can share? B: It’s confidential. F: Does this image tell you anything about what you need in your life? B: I need to feel accepting of myself and like myself. F: Would you rather deal with that question today or let it go for now? B: That may be the area that affects everything. I try to help myself. I use all sorts of techniques, like yoga. I feel bad about myself. I feel I am unattractive. It’s due to how I was raised. I need to take responsibility. I don’t want to take medication for a chemical imbalance all my life. I just want to be happy.

OUTER ZONE

F: Since our contract today is to work on the awareness exercise and not go into specific problems I want to return now to the rhythm of contact and withdrawal. What are you aware of in the outer zone now? B: The sound of the wind outside and the door makes noises. F: Take the wind first. How does the wind sound? B: The leaves are rustling. It sounds windy. F: Describe the sound. B: It’s a swishing sound. Also there is the dull roar of traffic. F: Now the door sound. B: The door is moving back and forth with the wind. F: So they are related. What’s your reaction to these sounds? B: I don’t like the door noise. The swishing is soothing. F: You just closed your eyes. You keep wanting to run back into your box. Keep your eyes open for now. How do you encounter me? B: I’m grateful, but F: Wait a minute. I forgot to ask you for associations to the wind and the door. B: The door noise reminds me of people who are angry. The wind is like freedom, nature. F: What about nature? Do you deal with nature much in your life? B: I do not have much freedom or nature in my life. I don’t go outside. I’m either here in my room or rehearsing or driving. F: Do you think you should spend more time with nature? B: Yes. F: And what about the angry people? B: I think of my roommates. ONE OF BEL’S ROOMMATES IS HER SISTER. They are always cursing. Also, my parents were always angry. F: Was there a particular reason for that? B: They hated each other. There was no money. SMILES. Too many kids.

SHE REQUESTS A BATHROOM BREAK.

USUALLY I AM STRICT ABOUT LIMITING THE FIRST SESSION TO TWO HOURS TOTAL. BUT BEL SEEMS TO HAVE TOUCHED ON SOME IMPORTANT AREAS THAT NEED SOME CLOSURE BEFORE WE END THE SESSION. THEREFORE, I OFFER HER THE OPPORTUNITY TO GO ON A WHILE.

INNER ZONE

F: Actually our time is finished, but we can go on a while if your want. Do you want to stop now or do one more round? B: One more. I’m cold. SHE WRAPS HERSELF IN THE TOWEL AND CLOSES HER EYES. I curled my toes under. I’m taking deep breaths. I feel good. My head feels itchy. F: Any images coming? B: I’m picturing my stomach going up and down as I breathe. It feels pleasant. I feel fat and “icky”. F: Keep your eyes half closed, stand up and dance “ickiness”. SHE DOES A SILENT IMPROV WHILE WRAPPED IN THE TOWEL. Do it again. Add the sound this time. Open your mouth and your throat. Find the voice of each body part, for example the toes. B: CLOSES HER EYES. I see a kitten, soft with a lot of fur. It’s cute. It has blue eyes and white fur. F: In the image what is your relation to the kitten? B: I’m touching it. It’s the softest thing I ever felt. I love it. F: Just stay with the image and see how it develops. B: I’m holding it. F: Do you have associations to similar situations? B: I’m thinking of how it was holding my sister’s baby. F: Does this work tell you anything about what you need? B: I need to be closer to people, so I can share a loving feeling. F: Good. We need to end the session soon. If you look back over the whole session, can you find an overall message that you got from today’s work? B: I feel I’m getting a better understanding of myself. I need balance as far as awareness goes, the outer and the inner. Also I need to be closer to people and not so into myself. F: They are related. Seeing and hearing them helps to relate to them. B: I used to be that way. A year ago I moved here, to a place where I know no one. When we balanced the awarenesses, the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. F: I noticed that you stopped the crying by yourself. What is it about the big picture that stops the crying? B: We work on the little things and the big picture gets better. Usually I overdo it. I overload myself. A long journey begins with a single step. F: That’s what they say in acting classes. Go in for the moments, the beats. Don’t try to eat the whole turkey in one bite. Don’t play one big idea about the scene from the beginning till the end. Provide yourself with lots of real things you can contact here and now along the way, lots of outer zone environment objects and inner zone fantasy objects. You need that objectivity to balance all the subjectivity, all that emotional soup that you have a tendency to get lost in. The subjective stuff you are very good at, and a lot of the time that is what the audience wants, but if you do it too much it is overwhelming and boring. You need to give the audience all the realities in a balanced way. And you can’t give them what you don’t have yourself. Likes: 26 Viewed:

The post GESTALT WORK ON AWARENESS WITH BEL pt 2 (HQ) appeared first on Good Info.

[element-effect-blog]

#EmbracingTheStruggle of Public Speaking for the First Time

My last thought prior to strolling out on the IMPACT Live phase was," [INSERT IMPROPER WORD], I don't wish to do this!"

And after that my fellow colleague, Dan Baum informed me it was too late for that and assisted me on stage where our CEO, Bob had actually simply called my name and hundreds of individuals were waiting for me to speak.

This is the story of everything that led up to that moment ...

Angela, Brie, and I had discovered some research that showed men are by and large owning the speaking gig and obviously, we believed that was hogwash and said as much during our program.

Two weeks later, throughout a check out to HQ in Connecticut, Bobasked me if I would speak at our upcoming event, IMPACT Live.

IMPACT Live '18 was the second annual occasion under its name.Though previous years IMPACT had actually been hosting occasions, IMPACT Live was our noteworthy, deliberate neighborhood structure event. I, of course, said yes!A major part of my role

here at EFFECT is to not only guide and direct

my clients'technique in marketing, sales, and business but to develop my own individual brand. It is my task to not just reach the clients and group members I consult with weekly,

however to influence the higher marketing-world about the successes and lessons I'm discovering with each brand-new campaign and tactic. My first idea when Bob asked me to speak was that he 'd desire me to discuss ABM, nurturing funnels, user mapping, or any number of cool things we have actually been working on for customers. That's not what he asked. Bob asked me to speak to the audience at EFFECT Live about what high-performing marketers need and anticipate from their business. I quickly enjoyed the topic

and was deeply honored that he trusted me sufficient to share this details-as it's so vital. The Prep or Absence There Of Having actually never spoken with

more than a group of 8-10 in a customer call before, I had no concept how to get ready for this kind of event. I spent the very first few weeks

widdling away at some notes and after that reviewing them with Bob.I understood I was heading in the right instructions, so I mentally put the entire thing on the back burner as we went into our busy summer season(a.k.a. when our chickens LASTLY began laying eggs!). We likewise made a pretty significant shift in our company in client services at IMPACT at the exact same time, so I concentrated on supporting my group through that, the speech, I figured, would look after itself. Time to Consult With Marcus Can all of us just take simply a moment so I can Fan Woman Go crazy over the truth that I get to work along with Marcus Sheridan!.?. !?! But, seriously- he is merely wonderful, so generous with his knowledge, and a wonderful coach. Since a lot of us at EFFECT Live 2018 were newbie or still young speakers, all of us had the opportunity to arrange time with Marcus to examine our speeches. I was especially worried , not since he'sMarcus Sheridan, but because I'm extremely enthusiastic about the subject of high-performers and my speech is in fact

the public launching of a theory that I've been forming together

with Stacy Willis for the in 2015. The importance of not just communicating efficiently to the audience but ensuring what was shared is precise and actually useful for the people going to was not lost on me.Plus, I hadn't actually mentally dedicated time to it for weeks and the pressure to get it right was on. How to compose a speech How to write a speech that does not draw How to not make

a fool of yourself on stage How to convince yourself that you need to be on stage Dakota Hersey, an amazing Account Executive here shared notes from an INBOUND session a couple of years ago that Tamsen

Webster did and her resources ended up answering every single concern above. Using Tamsen's guide, I had a quite

solid summary of what I want to say on stage.Actually, her summary even wound up becoming the structure of a major area of the manuscript Stacy and I are co-writing on the subject of

high-performers, however I digress. The same Saturday that I wound up restructuring everything I had been working on, I presented the concept to Marcus. Leaving that meeting with him, I felt so empowered.He had wonderful insight on how finest to provide the information on phase and

actually helped me see that I was having a discussion on stage, not talking to a room full of

automobile test dummies. Getting Feedback Truthfully, in the weeks and even days leading up to the occasion, I wasn't very nervous.I desired to first ensure that my logic, data, and opinions were solid. I met with Stacy, Dakota, and a few other team members I extremely regard and understood would challenge me much, in the very same method

, somebody hearing this for the very first time might.

Each individual I met provided me a bit more confidence that I had something worthwhile to share.Seeing their faces illuminate and get delighted about the important things I was sharing was so cool. They likewise gave me invaluable ideas like: Don't talk

too quick(I do this generally)

Offer actionable items Don't present a lot of concepts at the same time Be yourself, yes, really, simply be yourself I'm so delighted I spent this time crowdsourcing concepts, feedback, and insights!A Fascinating

Observation Both nights of IMPACT Live we hosted Pleased Hours.Let's discuss Ann Handley for simply a moment. This female is whom I desire to be when I mature. Smart, funny, friendly, direct, and

actually incredibly pleasant. I might listen to her discuss shades of blue for hours. She was the keynote for the

very first full day of EFFECT Live and she had everyone hooked from the moment she danced on stage in her Party Pants. I had actually discovered the night before her

keynote though that she was slightly more reserved

than the person I viewed bring principles to life on phase. She was

still simply as approachable and kind, but perhaps a little

more reserved?Actually, Ann was so excellent she went DEAL WITH us throughout one of the Delighted Hours and talked about

this really thing! Check it out here: Remarkably,

I discovered the very same about Marcus Sheridan.I asked him about it and he shared that, as a speaker, you are offering a lot of yourself on stage, that some speakers prepare by going inward ahead of their

talks ... Even the most skilled ones. While I believed that was cool, I figured I didn't actually know what that suggested and absolutely ignored the discussion up until I woke up the early morning of my speech. It's Program Time! I awakened on Wednesday morning absolutely inward.That's so unusual to type, however it's real. I wasn't truly in the

state of mind to speak with a great deal of individuals, even the ones I enjoy, so I took extra time preparing yourself at the hotel. I went through my speech a few times before leaving the hotel, but doing that made me feel even worse because here.